#(like he wasn’t aware her memories were erased and blamed it on the Hunter. his brother who he didn’t know WAS his brother ->

[thedeadthree]

SUFFERING IS A TERRIBLE FIRE; IT EITHER PURIFIES OR DESTROYS. [template by @unholymilf ✧ | icons ✧]

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

I've been watching you For some time Can't stop staring At those oceans eyes Burning cities And napalm skies Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes Your ocean eyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u5gDCNwTiw

Amy and Dabi

Oh boy... Amy makes some strange friends... but she is a strange girl, it’s only natural that she’s drawn to strange people and like-minded individuals. Which is why... she got along so well with the League of Villains, they were all oddballs, misunderstood, not unlike her. She even bonded with villains such as Himiko Toga and Twice, and struck a friendship with Magne, Spinner and Mr. Compress as well. 

And then of course there was Shigaraki and Dabi, now Amy taunted the hell out of Shigaraki in the beginning, which is what caught Dabi’s attention because he thought she was hilarious and even laughed at some of her jokes. Although he also took notice of her various powers, as he was surprised by the way she stowed away by teleporting right behind him just as they were about to disappear into Kurogiri’s warp gate. However, Amy didn’t succeed in attacking him and rescuing Bakugo as the other villains quickly subdued her. 

Nonetheless, Dabi didn’t underestimate the young witch despite her jokes and flighty demeanor, especially because he was well aware that she was a witch. Although he was partially relieved that she had a shock collar on to prevent her from using her magic. The first moment they talked at all though was Amy asking Dabi what happened to him because she was put off by his stitched up and burnt appearance, but the man didn’t give her an answer.

The two further interacted as she and Bakugo were bound and held hostage by the villains, with Amy being the most conversational and trying to appeal to all the villains, both so she can escape but also to get a better understanding of them. As Amy befriended Toga and Twice as well as Magne and Mr. Compress, Dabi found her an amusement at best, at least until he listened to her talk about Stain with Spinner. 

He was surprised but pleasantly so because Amy talked about how she actually met Stain once, and noted that he ‘wasn’t wrong’, which is what piqued Dabi’s interest since the witch made it clear she knew what she was talking about. Amy discussed with Spinner about how messed up everything is because of privilege and discrimination, and the so-called pro-heroes do nothing about it. Impressed, Dabi shares a moment with Amy, albeit he does ask her what she’s even doing in UA, especially a young witch from the New Orleans Coven in America.

Amy shares her reasons, stating that she wanted to come back to show the pro-heroes that she wants to be a hero too, and build a bridge of friendship with the pro-heroes and witches. However, this dream amuses Dabi because he doesn’t believe that’s going to happen, much to Amy’s annoyance as she argues that the pro-heroes rescued her and that she has a lot of friends who also want to be heroes, but Dabi doesn’t believe that.

Amy: I have friends now! It can happen! The pro-heroes haven’t done a whole lot of shit but I know they must care a little bit, they saved me! I can be a hero because my friends believe in me!

Dabi: Do they though? 

Amy: (annoyed but saddened) ... I don’t know! I hope so! 

Unamused, Amy becomes upset by this claim although she does continue to talk about herself and the history of her coven. She talks about how her friends and sisters were threatened constantly by witch hunters and voodoo witches, until they banded with the voodoo witches to kill the witch hunters together. Dabi asks Amy for what she believes in after all she’s been through, and Amy slowly replies that she believes that people like her aren’t given the kind of privilege everyone else is and that it lets them see things that nobody else can see. 

Amy also thinks about the current system of how pro-heroes work, and then notes that the Sports Festival is biased because she didn’t get any recommendations despite the fact that she came in 4th place and that only Bakugo, Todoroki and Tokoyami got recommendations. She says that it was “pretty fucked up” and had sort of “kinda totally ruined my day”, and expressed that she thought it may have something to do with her being a witch. Dabi almost felt bad for the witch, but showed no surprise because he told that it had everything to do with her being a witch.

This disheartened Amy, but then she began to realize that it made sense and that the pro-heroes probably had no trust in people like her. And then it helped when Amy brought up Endeavor, a pro-hero that Dabi especially despised and the two of them even bond over their hatred over him much to Amy’s delight. 

Amy: This is a system that values goodness, strength and always rescuing and helping people with a positive attitude. It’s so narrowed that not everyone can fit that box, and then there’s a bunch of other fucking little boxes they want you to fit into, and if you don’t, they won’t give a shit about you and start assuming the worst about you. Because... they take one look at people like us and they see human garbage, broken and bent... not worth fixing or saving. They’re supposed to be heroes and yet... they’re not helping us, because nobody wants to waste time on other humans they think can’t be saved or are worth saving I guess... 

Dabi: Us? (chuckles) Yeah... you’re not wrong. These pro-heroes won’t fix anything that’s broken, not unless they think it’s good enough to be saved. After all, you came back broken, but you also came back new. That’s the perks of being broken.

Amy: Yeah... I guess. I’m like you. I see a lot of pain and hatred in you Dabi... I feel your pain... and I don’t want to even imagine how much you’re hurting right now... (her emotions are slightly triggered and it allows her eyes to turn misty with tears) I’m sorry... I’m sorry for what you went through, not even animals go through that... I don’t exactly know what it was but I can tell it was something horrible... it’s in your eyes. (Dabi looks surprised but irked)

Dabi: You’re a sharp little bitch aren’t you? 

Dabi was mildly impressed with what Amy knew and she does admit that he has a point, but also sensed something in him, as his aura reminded her of someone’s. Also noting that she could sense his inner pain from his mysterious but troubled past and she couldn’t help but empathize with him, much to his annoyance. However, Dabi nonetheless regarded Amy as someone clever enough to be a member of the villains, but Amy felt conflicted. As she felt a kinship towards Dabi but didn’t want to leave her friends and especially not her best friend Shinsou behind. 

Still, Dabi told her to be smart and join like-minded people who know and understand her better than the UA students do and that they won’t push her away just because she’s a witch, and also tells her that they could use someone as powerful as her. Which further made it harder for Amy to think because Dabi again wasn’t wrong, Amy did feel that the villains understood her better than the UA students. However, when All-Might and the pro-heroes arrived and destroyed the hideout, it gave both her and Bakugo a chance to get away. Unfortunately, Shigaraki prevented Amy from escaping for a while until she managed to get the drop on him and get away, only to get hit by debris and it forced Madison to intervene and rescue her.

Afterwards, Dabi sort of blamed Shigaraki for letting Amy and Bakugo get away, but the former didn’t want to hear it. Meanwhile Amy would have Dabi lingering in her memory for months, and still felt that they had bonded. Amy even made a doll that she designed after him and named after him as well during her months of isolation. Amy also admitted that Dabi was right all along after she left UA temporarily, and even thought that she should have just accepted his offer.

Amy: Dabi was right... the villains were right... these pro-heroes don’t care about people like us... (before she officially exits the school) UA! ALL OF YOU SO-CALLED HEROES! YOU SUCK! YOU’RE NOT HEROES AT ALL AND I HOPE YOU ALL GO TO HELL!! (she runs off in tears and retreats to her mansion) 

Nonetheless, Amy remained at her mansion, troubled and trying to reflect on herself but with the League of Villains continuously haunting her mind. Amy continued to cheer for them however, particularly after Overhaul’s defeat as she was ecstatic when Shigaraki stole his Quirk Erasing bullets and cut off his arms after he killed Magne, someone Amy highly regarded as one of her friends. Although she was disappointed that they didn’t kill him because she thought that what he did to Magne was unforgivable.

And then Amy saw and found Dabi using a scrying spell, using a small piece of his hair that she managed to steal before the bar had been destroyed, She saw Dabi with Endeavor, the hero that they both despised, hopeful, Amy would watch the fight between Endeavor, Dabi and the High-End Nomu as the other UA students and the Todoroki family had been. However, where Amy was, she screamed and hollered for Dabi and the Nomu to kill Endeavor, and was extremely disappointed when Endeavor came out of it alive.

Later on, Amy would do the same in the War Arc as she was in the midst of a big decision to return to UA or not especially because she knew that the villains were coming to create mass destruction. Unfortunately, when she felt Twice’s aura leave the earth and discovered that Hawks was the reason for it, she became enraged. And while she remained at her mansion, she watched what was happening through her bathtub, seeing the fight between Dabi and Hawks, and Amy would scream and holler for Dabi to kill Hawks as she developed a newfound hatred for the winged hero. To her disappointment, Tokoyami rescued the pro-hero and the witch angrily lamented that the heroes really haven’t learned anything.

,But at the same time when Dabi was going to attack her former classmate and upon sensing the danger her other classmates and friends were in, Amy couldn’t stand by anymore and that was the last push she needed to return and help the heroes, but she noted that she only returned for her friends sake and because she didn’t want to die. 

In the present, Amy still thinks about Dabi, particularly about his ‘pretty eyes’, and how they had so much agony in them. However, Amy secretly believes that he may actually be Todoroki’s long-lost older brother Touya Todoroki, whom they believe to be dead. Amy believes that Dabi is Touya, but hasn’t interacted with him since and thus she cannot be certain. 

Nonetheless, Amy believes in her theory and desires to one day rehabilitate him because Amy does care about Dabi and does not think he’s truly a villain and is merely a troubled individual and product of the environment Endeavor created. Because Amy has much more empathy and sympathy for the villains than her friends do, it’s something she doesn’t talk about, as she notes that her friends can’t understand it.

Similarly, Dabi admits that Amy would have been good to have on the Villains side, even believing that they would have gotten everything done a LOT faster had they had Amy on their side, and hopes that he doesn’t have to kill her the next time they interact.

No fair You really know how to make me cry When you gimme those ocean eyes I'm scared I've never fallen from quite this high Falling into your ocean eyes Those ocean eyes

[darkpoisonouslove]

“Kiss, Then Bite” Present

See how this storyline sounds when you read all the chapters together. Almost like... they’re parts of the same conversation.

Chapter 2

“I want my life back,” Griffin said, her eyes boring into him with golden flames of anger. He’d had to come to her cell in the middle of the night since she’d been blasting the walls of her cell–they were resistant to magic but wouldn’t throw it back at her like the door would–making the whole castle shake.

And her words made him shake. “You?” he glowered at her, her insolence stirring the rage she’d made his heart shelter. “I spent seventeen years frozen in an ice cube thanks to you.” He grabbed at the magical bars, squeezing hard enough to break them if they were ordinary metal. He almost wished it were her neck under his fingers. Almost. The hatred on her face excited him as much as it infuriated him. He wouldn’t free her from his presence by sending her into the soothing embrace of death. She had to suffer for everything she’d done to him.

“I moved on,” she said, the words a painful reminder of their past together that stabbed him in the heart with the knowledge that he hadn’t even been given that chance. She was etched into his mind by the years of freezing isolation, making breathing an issue even when there was plenty of oxygen since the action itself reminded him of her. “I learned how to breathe without you,” she continued, employing all of her weapons to hurt him. Why else would she bring up the fact that she’d loved him? It had to be painful for her too. It had to haunt her at night like it haunted him. It had to leave her breathless as well. It had to. “How dare you come back?” she spat at him, her face distorted by hurt now. And it was so grotesque. For her to hate him for her suffering after her crimes against him.

“And I couldn’t breathe,” he said. “Because of you.” Air was somewhat of an issue again as the hot of the rage bubbled in him, battling the ice cold of the memories inside him.

Chapter 4

“You robbed me of my entire life,” Valtor said, clutching at the magical bars as hard as ever. He probably hoped the accusation would break her. But he’d need more than that if she was still standing after all these years of loving him. “Did you really think you would ever be free of me?” His grip never loosened.

“No,” Griffin answered calmly. It was a question she’d asked herself often. Too often. “I have never been that stupid.” Stupid enough to get mixed up with him, the pull of his magic so seductive, even now when it was powered by his hatred for her. But not stupid enough to believe he’d ever relinquish his hold on her willingly. So she’d betrayed him and had him imprisoned, hoping to lock away her feelings for him as well. But she’d known he’d come back. In her soul, in her mind, in her bones. He was engraved into her being and woven into her life. “I always knew you’d come back.” She’d hoped she was wrong. She was never wrong. She couldn’t afford to be wrong when it came to him. Not again. There was too much at stake.

“And what good did it do you?” he asked as he let go of the bars and folded his arms, looking content with her admission. “You couldn’t even protect yourself,” he mocked. “Not to mention your students,” he held her gaze, making it clear just how much intention he was putting into this. He’d found her weakness and was thrilled to explore it.

Her cold gaze did nothing against him. He’d developed immunity against her ice now that he no longer wanted to feel her fire. It only affected her, causing chills to run down her spine and she shivered against her will.

Valtor smiled at her, baring his teeth like a predator ready to bite into his prey, his eyes moving to her throat where her heart was pounding in an unsteady rhythm.

Chapter 6

Griffin bared her teeth in a cornered animal’s last attempt of intimidating the hunter on its tail. “Does hurting me make you feel good?” she asked with that heartbroken stare that left him deadly wounded. Her unexpected strategy of admitting weakness worked too well on his unprepared mind.

“Seeing you behind bars definitely helps.” It did. He’d spent so much time picturing what she’d look like in a cell. And he hadn’t been disappointed. It was enough to distract him from the memories of frozen stillness that inevitably flooded his mind in the late hours when he was alone, the warmth of another human being unfamiliar to him since she’d betrayed him.

“Really?” she sounded as if she’d smelled blood, as if she’d found a weakness. When his only weakness was her. The air in her lungs that sucked all the life out of him.

“It makes me feel so much better,” he said. He lied. Seeing her against him so insolent and audacious only stole whatever breath the ice hadn’t forced out of him from his lungs. She wanted all of it. She hadn’t been satisfied with what she’d taken away when she’d abandoned him. She hadn’t been satisfied with what he’d lost in the ice. She would only stop when his Dragon Fire burned out from the lack of oxygen.

“But not good,” she said with a look so painfully sympathetic on her face that it forced all the air out of him no matter how hard he tried to hold it in. Just like she’d slipped through his fingers despite his efforts to keep her at his side.

“After all I’ve been through, I doubt anything short of my ultimate goal could make me feel good,” he adopted her strategy of using weakness to attack. It had worked so well against him. But it didn’t seem to have any effect on her. For she was his only weakness.

Chapter 8

“And Faragonda had told you I was bad for you,” Valtor shook his head in disbelief.

“She was right.” Of course she’d been right. She hadn’t been blinded by feelings.

“Because you were so good for me,” he pulled away as if repulsed by her words. As if he was anything short of one of the worst criminals the magical dimension had ever known.

“I wasn’t bad enough for you. And you weren’t good enough for me.” He carried the Dragon Fire inside. Yet, he’d chosen to plunge the world into darkness. And she’d been supposed to wreck havoc with her dark magic. Yet, she’d turned to the light to save the universe.

“What would’ve been good enough for you?” The genuine question burned worse than his mockery. Had it not been clear enough? Had she really left him thinking he had to go to extremes to win her love?

“Not destroying the universe.” She’d only ever wanted him to not be evil enough to qualify for being sent to Omega.

“I could’ve lived with that,” he said, his negligent tone pushing all of her buttons.

“Could you have?” she pushed back.

“If there was another way to gain enough power,” he said with all the composure of someone who had his priorities figured out.

“Was there ever enough for you?” Griffin asked, bitterly aware that regardless of the answer, she never could have been.

“Nobody thought there was,” he said, looking lost as if trying to decide if he himself was part of that. “They convicted me to an eternity because anything else short of that wouldn’t have been enough for me.” His gaze focused on her. “But we’ll find out together if any amount of your suffering will be enough for me.”

His words had terror creeping and nestling inside her. For she had never been enough for him. And no amount of her suffering would be either.

Chapter 10

“I gave you everything I had,” Griffin spoke quietly but her intentions were loud and crystal clear. She wanted to make herself the victim again. She wanted to make him the villain again. When he was clearly the one who’d had everything taken away from him. Everything from his power to his breath. She hadn’t even spared his memories with her betrayal.

“The only thing I got from you was cold.” His voice came out mellow enough as he kept his fire at bay. She didn’t even deserve the passion he was putting in his revenge. She didn’t deserve his time. She’d gotten enough of it already, too much of it. But the hurt on her face was so alluring, and her suffering was yet another prison for him. Just like her love. And if he couldn’t break free from one, then he didn’t stand a chance against the other.

“That’s not true,” she snapped, having the audacity to object to him erasing her from his past when she was guilty for casting him out of the dimension. She’d left him, yet, she wanted a place in his life. And not even as the enemy whose guts he despised. She wanted him to hold her in his memory as the love of his life. But the only role she had in it was of the object of his vengeance, not that of his desires.

“How does it feel to have a lie thrown in your face?” It hurt her more. The words hurt her more than him. The admission that they’d had something–everything–but she’d destroyed it hurt her more than it did him. And that knowledge helped soothe the burning agony from those feelings that refused to stay dead no matter how much ice he buried them under.

She looked at him, calm enough to think before she spoke which meant it’d be bad. “I know I broke your heart.”

His hands balled into fists and he was certain his knuckles were white with the desire to strangle her. Not out of revenge. Just to keep her from speaking again.

“But I never got mine back from you.”

It hurt him more. Her vulnerability hurt him more. The admission that they’d had something–everything–but she’d destroyed it hurt him more than it did her.

Chapter 12

Valtor glared at her from the other side of the bars. Whatever came out of his mouth next would be bad. Worse than the apparent desire to murder her. “You broke my trust which is worse than breaking my heart.” There it was again. Denial. As if refusing to acknowledge his feelings would make them go away. It didn’t work that way and they’d made each other painfully aware of that. But he’d only admit enough vulnerability to have reason to keep blaming her for everything.

“I did leave you,” she admitted. She couldn’t run away from that, nor did she want to. She’d made the right choice no matter how wrong it had felt to him. Or to her. “But I never used any of your weaknesses against you.” She kept them all safe in her mind. And even though the memories of their past together had been tainted by everything that had come after, she still held on to them, to what they’d had, to the knowledge that he’d trusted her with everything he’d had, including his weaknesses. He’d trusted her–only her–and she’d made sure she was the only one who was allowed that knowledge. She kept it close to her heart since it was the only thing she had left from him.

“That’s because I don’t have any,” Valtor spoke, his voice even and his expression impassive. And it was worse than his hatred. To know that he was trying to fool her as if she couldn’t see through him. To know that he was using his mask against her as if she’d never seen what lay under it, as if she’d never seen his mind and soul.

“Are you trying to lie to me or to yourself?” she asked to anger him. It would be better to see the flames flare in his eyes. It would be more real. Not like the deception he was trying to pull off. She’d accept his anger and his hatred but not the blatant erasure of their history together. He’d barged back into her life so he had to admit she’d been a part of his.

He folded his arms calmly and took a step forward. “Or maybe it’s just the simple truth that you don’t know me as well as you think.” There was no fire in the words and she felt the bite of the cold in her veins.

Chapter 14

“You changed me,” Valtor said, his eyes locked with hers and his face relaxed as if thinking about their past wasn’t painful for him like it was for her.

It was true. She had. She’d made him happy. But she knew for a fact he’d never admit it. So wherever he was going with that would just bring her more pain. It would be another bleeding wound in her chest when he delivered the blow and twisted the blade to cause more damage. That he was good at. They both were.

“Or rather, your betrayal did.” Of course. Of course, he’d deny everything positive she’d brought into his life. It would give him a reason to feel something else other than hatred for her. And they couldn’t have that. Not after all those years of trying to rip the other from their hearts. “My mothers always warned me how unbecoming distractions were, but you were the one to finally teach me that.”

“So I was just a distraction?” It hurt. It hurt to hear him say that. Even when she knew it wasn’t true. Even with the memories of him leaning further and further into her touch and her kisses until they were practically one. Even with the sound of him saying her name as if she was a heavenly blessing still in her ears. “If I was so unimportant,” Griffin took a breath to get her nerves under control and make sure her teeth weren’t grinding together, “then why do you spend so much time and effort on your revenge against me?” He could still lie. He would lie. He would always lie. Even when they both knew she wouldn’t fall for it. Because he’d fallen for her. And that was why she wanted to give him a chance to tell her the truth. She hadn’t given it to herself when she’d betrayed him and she’d ended up in a cell for it.

“Because you are a traitor who deserves to be punished.” It was true. And from the right perspective it could be the truth she wished to hear. But it wasn’t enough for her.

“Is that all?” she quirked a brow at him in a challenge. To rile him up, push him into a state where he’d be unable to consider and control his responses, where he’d be unable to hide behind that mask he wore like armor. It would level the playing field a bit, considering she was his prisoner.

“What else do you expect?” his words shocked her as if the spell on the door had turned her latest attempt at escape back on her.

Chapter 16

“Every time I wake up I’m reaching for you but you’re never there.” Another blade twisted just right into her heart. She could see the truth in the words just like she could see the lie. “Is that what you want to hear?” Valtor asked to make sure he’d reached his aim. Somehow his denial of being hurt hurt her more than knowing the truth about how deep a wound she’d left on his soul. Him trying to erase her from his heart altogether–as if she’d never been there–hurt more than knowing she’d ripped it to shreds.

“It will certainly be closer to the truth.” She knew he’d reached for her. That first morning after she’d left. He’d reached for her to find the bed empty and the sheets cold with her absence. He must have. He must have loved her enough to be hurt by her departure. He must have.

“The only thing I’ve missed from you,” Valtor started and she knew he was drawing back the blade just to push it in deeper, “is that additional power our partnership gave me.” He hadn’t changed one bit. Or rather, he’d reversed back into the emotionless, power-hungry wizard he’d been before she’d touched his soul. He could almost convince her she’d never been a part of his life, she’d never held him in her arms and had never filled his heart with love. But she had. Her marks were all over him and she’d claw at them to make them visible again if she had to.

“You don’t miss the good morning kisses?”

His eyes widened at the memory of how he’d gotten so immersed into them that the rest of the world had dissolved into nothingness.

“The whispered “I love you”s?”

His breath hitched at the knowledge that her love had left him breathless and filled him with life.

“My touch on your face?” She took a step closer and extended her arm towards him.

“Stop!” His voice recoiled off the walls like a whiplash and she let her arm fall at her side as he retreated.

It hurt to see him avoiding her touch like the plague when letting go of her had been his only problem. It still was. For as much as he wished for it, he didn’t have the power to erase her from his life. Just like she didn’t have the power to reach him through the magical bars.

Chapter 18

“How does it feel to lose the thing you love most?” Griffin asked with a cold expression on her face, making it clear just how deliberate the question was. He should’ve known she wouldn’t give up. She never did. She still refused to leave his life after all these years of haunting him.

“I’m doing just fine without you.” A lie. His life had been a downward spiral ever since she’d left him. “I would’ve been even better if I’d killed you before you could betray me.” Another lie. It wouldn’t have changed a thing because he would still remember what it had been like to hold her in his arms and how reluctant he’d been every time he’d had to let go of her. And because he remembered, he couldn’t kill her.

“Is that why you keep me locked up where I can’t leave you again?” She remembered it, too. She knew he’d fallen for her so she wouldn’t fall for his lies. “But no, I wasn’t talking about me. I meant your power.” She knew he was lying so she slapped him in the face with the truth. It hadn’t even occurred to him that she wasn’t talking about herself. She kept pushing back into his life so he hadn’t expected her to have any self-awareness on the matter.

“Probably the same way you felt,” he stepped forward in offense. It was time to remind her that he’d been a part of her life as well.

The response came after a second’s hesitation. “Power has never been that important to me.” It was true but she also acknowledged the importance of how powerless he’d left her, trapped in his revenge where she could do nothing he hadn’t allowed.

“I was talking about me,” he said to help her with the rest of the truth that she had conveniently left out.

Another pause. “I didn’t lose you. I left you.” Another truth. “Because the safety of the universe was more important than my feelings.”

“And how does the coldness of that choice feel?” he sneered, purposefully trying to rile her up. He didn’t need her sparing his feelings. Not after she’d ripped his heart to shreds.

“I imagine you know that,” she said quietly and he couldn’t understand how she could be stabbing him in the chest so compassionately. For her eyes were full of understanding that made the words hurt that much more. How could she know the pain he’d been through when she’d been the one who’d caused it to him?

Chapter 20

“Your eyes can be so cruel,” Valtor said but held her gaze as if he couldn’t take his eyes off of her, as if they were back in the past where she’d been the only thing he would look at, the only thing he’d wanted to look at.

“Because they speak the truth?” Griffin asked, the look in his eyes giving her hope that she’d finally gotten through to him, that he’d let her in, that she wouldn’t have to push against and hurt him. Because he’d always believed actions more than words and she’d always understood why that was.

“Yes.”

 She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A single word. A simple word. Yet, it held so much power even as it admitted vulnerability.      Because        it admitted vulnerability. And it made things much less complicated now that she didn’t have to fight against his denial. It finally allowed her to breathe.  

     She opened her eyes to find him studying her carefully. His breathing was even and barely noticeable and his face was blank as if he’d resigned to his fate. “So you believe me?” she asked, hoping to get some reaction out of him–no matter what–because the dead expression on his face was killing her. She’d only wanted him to not dismiss her pain. She hadn’t meant to hurt him so badly that he’d bleed out.  

“It would be foolish of me after everything that happened,” he said but there was no bite in the words. As if he’d accepted the fact that his death would come from his own hand. “Even when I know you’re not lying.” Yet, his words were killing her.

“Did I hurt you so much that you can’t even trust your own judgment?” She knew she’d destroyed his trust in her, but she’d never thought she’d destroyed his own trust in himself. Yet, he’d still believed her even despite that.

“Yes,” he said and the confession was so cruel. It gave a different perspective on his reluctance to accept she’d been hurt too. And if she’d known, she wouldn’t have pushed so hard. If she’d known... she never would’ve pulled away. She never would’ve been so cruel to him. Even if it had meant being cruel to everyone else. Even if it had meant being cruel to herself.

Chapter 22

“Would you start over if you had the chance?” Griffin asked, but this time the quietness of her voice and the sadness in her eyes didn’t make him want to avert his gaze. Because she looked like his words had finally reached her. He’d admitted his weakness to her, admitted that it was her, and it looked like that had been what had finally hurt her. Yet, her hurt only seemed to hurt him further, making him feel for her again after all these years of being frozen in soulless cold.

“What’s the point in mulling over that?” He didn’t want to think about it only to find out that they’d had a chance but they’d wasted it. He didn’t want to consider other possibilities only to reach the conclusion that there’d been no way for them to save what they’d had. And he didn’t want her reaching that conclusion either, for any more pain on her face would be the end of him now that he’d chosen to believe it was real, believe that she hurt for him, too.

“Would you have made different choices?” Griffin insisted. He should’ve known she wouldn’t give up. She never did.

“Would you have?” he turned the question on her for he could tell there was something she wanted to get out, something she wanted to tell him. But she knew him well enough to know he didn’t believe words. And after her betrayal, he didn’t believe at all.

“I made the only choice I could live with.” It hurt. It hurt just like he’d known it would. But not because of the words. It hurt because he was certain he could hear regret in her voice and he believed he could see it in her eyes. And it hurt him to know he was powerless to turn back time and give her the chance to choose again, to choose him. “But if a happy future was impossible, I’d at least keep the happy past,” she said as if trying to reassure him, and he made sure to cut his gaze from hers because, otherwise, he’d believe that, too. And he couldn’t.

“You wouldn’t spare yourself the pain?” he asked even though he knew. He knew her too well. Of course she wouldn’t. She’d put them both through the same, making him fall for her all over again, making him feel for her again, having no mercy for either one of them. She’d been the one who’d found it in herself to leave, after all, and he still couldn’t understand what kind of fire burned inside her that had kept her from freezing from that decision, that had kept her love burning.

“And deprive myself of the love we shared?” she asked and he hated her for the easiness with which her voice formed the words, hated her for not choking on them. The taste of heaven that they’d gotten couldn’t have possibly been enough for her. It had left him with a gaping hole in his chest that wanted to swallow her whole for he could barely breathe without her.

Chapter 24

“Get out of my head,” Valtor said as if she’d just gotten inside, as if she hadn’t been there all along, as if his words didn’t reveal all of that to her. But what was the point in hiding when she would see right through all of his words?

“I’m not trying to hurt you with this,” Griffin spoke softly, proving his point. She knew. She knew him. All of him. Every thought in his head. For he’d opened up to her and she’d seen them all as if they were hers.

“Then why does it hurt?” He couldn’t pretend even if he wanted to. And he wanted to. He really did. Speaking the thoughts as they were in his mind was too much like trusting her. And trusting her was too much like loving her. And he couldn’t do that. He’d done it once and it had ended in hell.

“Because it was real,” Griffin said. “The love was real.” The warmth in her voice was so repulsive he could barely stand the sound of it. The fondness with which she recalled his time of downfall was driving him away until he wished to leave her like she’d left him. “And so was the heartbreak.” But what really pushed him to move was the lack of ice in her eyes. Because she’d gotten to pick her own fate but he’d had his chosen by her as well. And she hadn’t been a benevolent goddess.

“I didn’t ask for any of it,” he hissed as he turned his back on her to walk away. He’d sacrificed too much of his time as tribute to her when he didn’t even worship her anymore. She’d refused his devotion and now she had to live without it. Just like he had to live without hers.

“Yes, you did,” she spoke, her voice not loud but it had him stopping dead in his tracks. “Your eyes begged me to love you every time you looked at mine and your kisses were pleading with me to stay with the very breath of your lungs.”

His eyes closed and he pursed his lips to keep any unbidden sounds from escaping. He had to drown her out and keep going but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He wanted to listen, wanted to hear her tell him something that would ease his pain. Goddesses–when benevolent–had the power to heal the worst injuries. And he’d been deadly wounded. He needed her to breathe life into him again.

“Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

His eyes snapped open and he turned slowly to find her eyes pleading with him to believe her. And it was selfish of her to want things from him when she was the one with all the power.

“But you did it,” he said, his voice devoid of anything that could grant her silent plea.

“I had to save the universe.” No, she hadn’t. She’d been his goddess and his only. “Even if it meant destroying my universe,” her voice cracked and her eyes welled up with tears that the coldness of his glare hadn’t managed to freeze inside her heart. “I have never loved anyone else,” she whispered, granting him some mercy at last. “You are the entire universe of my love.” And she’d destroyed it. How had she been so cruel to herself, his selfish soul could never understand.

Chapter 26

“Every time you say you love me, it means a little less,” Valtor said, no bite in the words, no cold, no rage, no fire. Just nothing. An emptiness that a thousand universes couldn’t fill. And it scared her. For she had no power to do anything about it, about him. For him.

“How can you say that?” she asked, the tears evaporating under the sting of his words. She’d just wanted him to believe she hadn’t meant to be so cruel to him. She’d wanted him to give her a chance to help heal his wounds, help him feel again. Even if not for her.

“Because every time you say you love me, I believe you a little more.” She couldn’t stop the gasp the sound of which filled the empty space of the dungeons as she sought air, oxygen. She needed to breathe. And his words were making it simultaneously easier and harder. “And that makes it a little more meaningless.” The air she’d just drawn in was knocked out of her. “If you loved me,” oxygen filled her lungs again, “but you left me,” she couldn’t breathe again, “did that love mean anything?” His eyes were begging her to speak up and convince him otherwise, and she found her voice somehow, even if she was still out of breath.

“It meant everything,” she spoke and the strength of the words seemed to wash over them like a wave of magic and save their lives. “Would something meaningless hurt this much?” That seemed to convince him further for they’d both felt the pain flaming through their hearts and burning their whole lives. “Would it set your heart ablaze with hatred if it hadn’t set it with love at first?” They both knew he hated her. They’d both felt it. But she’d hated him, too. For not loving her enough to pick her. For making her choose. For making her lose him.

“It’s not burning, Griffin, that’s the thing,” Valtor spoke, spoke her name, drawing her attention to him for her to realize she’d lost him again. “It’s just empty,” the tone from earlier was back and it scared her again. It scared her because now it left a void between them. “It’s empty and it’s cold. And you clearly don’t feel the same.” She felt terror suffocating her again because their fate was in his hands and he’d never been merciful.

“Valtor-”

“You don’t feel the same.”

She waited with baited breath for him to continue, praying he wouldn’t choose to doubt her pain again, wouldn’t revert and destroy the progress they’d made. They’d fought tooth and nail for it.

“And that means you never hated me,” he opened her eyes, pried her lids open with a force akin to a storm. And it seemed to do the same to him. For he was looking at her in a way that almost made her wish he’d never believed a word she’d said.

Chapter 28

“When did you know you were going to leave?” he asked, changing the topic abruptly just like she’d expected. It wasn’t the question she’d expected, but they’d make their way there, she was sure. They’d both had a revelation. And while it mattered to her to know she’d never let any hate for him in her heart, that hadn’t changed her reality. But she suspected he’d been given a new perspective. She knew he had. He looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time and he couldn’t make up his mind when it came to whether to hate her or love her. And she wasn’t sure she’d survive the choice he made.

“I didn’t. Not until the moment I left.” It had been a torturous balance on the edge, until one day she’d jumped to the death of their relationship. She’d never wanted to do it – it had felt like murder-suicide. But she’d had to. She’d had to end it before it killed them both.

“How could you leave?” he growled, and the fire was back. It burned like fear burned. For he was afraid of her answer, and it killed her to see him so frightened, killed her to see him so frightened of her. He’d grown up in fear, raised by the most fearsome witches in history, and she’d promised herself she would only help him heal. Yet, she’d hurt him worse than they ever could have, for they’d never loved him. What kind of monster did that make her?

“I couldn’t,” she shook her head. “Not fully.” They were still in each other’s hands. “It’s why we’re here.” In each other’s eyes. In each other’s lives. He kept dragging her back, unable to let go of her, and she knew she’d be as angry with him as he was with her if he ever did.

“How could you leave my side?” he asked, and now the fire burned like hurt did, like a stab wound did. When she’d only wanted to spare them. All of them. Him, her, the world. She’d wished to save them, for they’d already had too much blood on their hands. She’d just stabbed them in the chests instead.

“I had to.” She couldn’t have stayed. Heaven knew she’d wished for nothing more. But that would’ve been the end of them both. At least now they were still standing. Even if they were doing it on the opposite ends of a battlefield, on both sides of the bars that now separated their lives.

Chapter 30

“You can keep trying to blame me, but in the end,” Valtor stopped to take a breath as if he didn’t have enough air to speak, “it’s all your fault.” His hands balled into fists, but this time, ironically enough, she knew he didn’t wish her dead, didn’t wish to strangle her. For that would leave him alone with all that misery that her choice had inflicted upon them. And he’d been alone against it for far too long.

“You were the one who gave me a reason to leave,” she said but she wasn’t trying to point fingers. They were finally telling each other the truth. And the truth was that there’d been exactly one reason behind her decision. But it had been big enough to come between them and tear them apart.

“Hadn’t I given you enough reasons to stay?” he asked and she could almost see the memories playing in front of his eyes now that he wasn’t running from the happiness in their past.

“Of course you had.” It was what had kept her from leaving for so long. All the little things they’d had. The warmth of his body under her hands. The sound of his voice whispering her name in the middle of the night. The love he’d kissed into her skin every time his lips had touched her body. She’d wished to hold on to all that, to keep it safe from the clutches of hate.

“Then why didn’t you?” he asked, and it still surprised her when she couldn’t feel the bite of the words. Because there wasn’t any. All that was left in his voice was a plea for help. He was begging her to help him understand what had gone wrong between them.

“Because I was afraid if I stayed, I would give myself a reason to hate us.” She’d been terrified that one day she’d wake up repulsed by the touch of his blood-stained hands. So it had been better to wake up craving it when she knew she could never have it instead of trying her best to avoid it when she was in his bed. “I was afraid I would give us both a reason to hate each other.” That they wouldn’t have survived. Not with their fragile hearts.

“I hate you,” Valtor said because they were finally telling each other the truth. And somehow, the lack of fire burned worse, for he wasn’t trying to hurt her, and yet, it hurt.

“Because I left,” she pushed herself to speak and was rewarded to see him finally understand, his eyes widening as he was trying to comprehend what she’d just said to him. “Not because I stayed.” That would’ve been the real tragedy. Seeing him hating her for staying with him would have been the thing that would have truly finished her.

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Rebirth of Kaiser:  chapter 30 [finale]

“So where is Tesni now?” Chaos Hunter asked, lounging backwards in her chair and fiddling with the card between her fingers. A satisfied smirk settled on her lips any time that she looked at it.

“Currently taking instruction in how to be a good servant to me,” Ruin replied. “It will take some time for her to be what I require of her, though. But it won’t delay our plans.”

Law Guardian tilted his head to the side. “We need to complete those plans as soon as possible. They know about you – they’ll know about us.”

“Oh, you’re quite right on that.” Ruin agreed. “But they won’t be able to do anything about it until I allow it. Knowing won’t accomplish anything if we don’t strike until they’re not expecting it.”

Her gaze swept around the room, touching on Chaos Hunter, Law Guardian, and Skull Bishop. “I expect you all to listen to my orders. We will achieve our vengeance if you do.”

Golden Pegasus’s hooves struck hard against the ground and the group turned towards him. “I know that Law Guardian seeks the life of Yuuki Juudai. I wish him to return to his true station.”

“We know,” Ruin replied, a hint of weariness in her voice at that. “The two of you will work together on this. We know how his deck works – find ways around that. But work carefully. There have been many who sought to deny him Fusion and its ilk. They all fell against him.”

Skull Bishop shifted for a moment, until all eyes rested on him. “I’ve heard that one of his old friends resides with the Amazons. We could use him for information.”

Sparks of interest flickered to life in Ruin’s expression. “Then I want him here. The sooner the better.”

She turned back toward Chaos Hunter. “And I believe that you have an acquaintance who might be useful towards our cause. Demon Tamer.”

Chaos Hunter tensed at once, the corners of her mouth turning downward. “What do you want with her?”

“I think she would be a fine ally. Bring her here as soon as you can. We can speak to her, if nothing else.”

Ruin picked up the silver goblet in front of her and examined the rich wine carefully before she took a sip. “In fact, I want to talk to everyone in this world who ever encountered any of them or their friends – everyone who has the slightest bit of information about them whatsoever.”

“Shouldn’t you also be deciding who fights the shadow mage?” Chaos Hunter suggested, lip curled for a breath at that. “Or did you want me to take care of him?”

“No. We’re going to fight fairly – for now.” Ruin’s smile did not falter in the slightest. “But you’re right on that point.” She took another sip, thinking. “Did you have anyone in mind? They are fighting on your behalf – somewhat.”

Chaos Hunter said nothing at all for several minutes, her eyes dark and serious, before a sudden smile broke across her features. “Oh, I think I know exactly who it will be. I’ll have to talk to him about it, of course.”

“Of course.” Ruin traced a design on the table before her. “I think that we all know what we need to do for now. While you’re at it – send me your servants. The small spies. The ones you inherited from the Death Duelists. I have plans for them, too.”

“Did you get it back, at least?” Johan glanced at Shine Angel. The angel turned his hand over, closing his fingers and then opening them up again to reveal his card there.

“I could do that much. But retrieving Tesni was beyond my power, my lord.” Shine Angel’s head bent for a breath. “I can’t even be certain of where Ruin took her. Her defenses are too strong.”

Johan let out a long breath at that. “Not surprised. She probably knows ways to keep me and Juudai out.” He leaned back against the moss-covered rock and ran his fingers through his hair. “At least we tried. And she’s still alive, we know that much.”

“For how long?”

That got another sigh, deeper and longer than the rest. “Probably longer than she wants to be if she stays with Ruin. But that still gives us time to figure out how to find her and get her back. And to figure out what else Ruin is up to.”

Johan sent a quick look towards Shine Angel. “Are you going to stay here or go back to the village? Or the Sanctuary?”

“Here for now. This is where my brother is and we haven’t finished everything yet.” Shine Angel’s gaze tilted up towards the sky. “I do plan to return to the Sanctuary soon, though. I have a few people I need to speak to there. And elsewhere.”

A brief nod from Johan. “Juudai’s going to get some of our friends – the ones that Ryou should meet again soon. He’s getting more and more of his memories back and that’ll help in the long run.”

“If we have a long run. Is this shadow mage a good enough duelist to win against whoever Ruin sets against him?”

“I’ve only dueled against him once myself and he was really different then.” Johan’s gaze flicked out over the green grass meadow spreading out in front of them. “I really couldn't say but I think he is. I’ve heard that he’s at least as good as the Kaiser is. Or was.”

Shine Angel nodded. “And Cyber Hell Paladin himself? I know the spirit that he’s become, not the human he was or the person that he will be.”

“There weren’t that many people better than him. Once he gets it all back, he could probably tear through Ruin’s army and never break a sweat.” Johan’s lips twitched for a few seconds. “I’d almost be tempted to let him. He’s going to need to work off steam somehow.”

“He’s not the only one. Herald-sama is quite unhappy, I’ve noticed.”

Johan nodded, eyes raising up briefly. “He wanted this to end the whole war. We’re not going to get involved more than we have to, but we were keeping an eye on the situation. Juudai – he’s furious at Ruin. When he finds out who’s protecting her from him, he’s going to be even worse.”

Shine Angel’s wings twitched and Johan shook his head. “I can hold him back. So can Yubel. No one’s in any serious danger. But still, Juudai being unhappy isn’t good for anyone.”

Juudai didn’t want to be angry. He wanted to have seen the end of a war – even if it was just a little war – and to be celebrating the victory of the people he’d determined were in the right of things. He usually let people work out stuff like this on their own with only minimal support, if just by where he decided to eat and sleep. Sometimes he didn’t even give that much, departing an area entirely until the matter settled.

He’d supported the Hail Cybers mostly because he’d decided that they were on the right side. Something drove a wedge between them and the Knights and the Knights didn’t seem fully in control of themselves anymore.

What do you plan to do about this?

He could feel Yubel’s fingers in his hair, an intimacy that they seldom indulged in unless they were the only ones around. Or Johan. Johan remained an exception to a lot of their habits, for a lot of different reasons.

“I don’t know. Haven’t decided yet.”

Juudai knew that he needed to. He hadn’t gone too near the Knights and maybe that was why people like Ruin and everyone she’d recruited got tangled up in the situation. He hated to blame himself but the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to think he at least carried some blame for it.

You can’t watch everyone. You can’t even fix everything. You know that.

That got a very long look from him to Yubel. At least the sort of look that came when Yubel didn’t feel like appearing where he could use his eyes. He could feel their awareness turned towards him and that an undercurrent of amusement ran all through Yubel’s thoughts. As always, they believed that he took too much on himself.

He knew why, though. He’d gone so long never taking any kind of responsibility whatsoever, letting it all fall the way it wanted and seldom even noticing when things crashed into ruin, so long as he continued to amuse himself. He knew now that couldn’t keep on.

“Maybe I can’t,” he muttered, “but I need to do something.”

Yubel didn’t seem bothered by that. Yubel wasn’t often bothered by him choosing to do things, even if those things didn’t involve Yubel. Since he hadn’t yet come up with something that Yubel didn’t get involved with on some level, he hoped that would never change.

What did you have in mind?

That was where he wasn’t sure. He’d already tried to get into Ruin’s fortress and take Tesni out again. That hadn’t worked at all. He had no idea of what sort of defenses she had, but he came out right where he’d started, and after trying two or three times, he’d decided to try something else.

Exactly what this something else might be was also on the list of ‘he had no idea of what it would be’ but he guessed he’d figure it out later.

He sighed and jerked himself to his feet. “Let you know when I know. But first I think we need to go pick up a couple of people. At least let them know what’s going on before we bring them here.”

Juudai took three steps away from the rock he’d lounged on, then turned around and walked into the shadow cast by it. He hoped Principal Samejima wasn’t too busy. Was it even the school year?

Guess I’ll find out.

Shadows grew over the valley as the sun slid down behind the mountains. Ryou stared out over it. He’d never seen this place as a human, but he remembered now. He remembered three months spent here when it had just been him and Edo and the day and night could almost not be told from one another save for how bright the comet sparkled.

Such a different place now. He’d known that before this became his home; he’d been there for the first sunrise. But living here made it a part of himself, like nowhere ever had been before.

“Does Shou still have the tapestry I had from the Cyber Dojo?” Ryou asked. Yuusuke, standing next to him, nodded.

“He wouldn’t have given it up for anything. But I think he’d give it back to you if you asked for it.” Yuusuke smiled in thoughtful sadness. “He misses you more than you can imagine. That’s probably why he asked Juudai to bring you the deck.”

Ryou glanced to where he'd set it on the chipped marble table. The stronghold of the Hail Cybers was a mixture of old and new, battered and burnished, and he found that he liked it like that. There his deck rested; he still needed a duel disc, but the deck was there, and many of the spirits of the monsters curled up around the courtyard. Cyber End admired the sunset with him. Cyberdark lounged in a deep swath of shadows. Cyber Phoenix perched on one of the trees in the courtyard, preening their claws.

Other spirits scattered here and there. The courtyard always seemed big enough for them, no matter what. He hadn’t met them all yet but he knew that he would in time. The newest powerful monster in his deck still hadn’t emerged, though he could feel the presence in there, watching and waiting.

And amused. He could never forget amused.

Comfortable silence grew between the two of them as the sun fell out of sight and the stars shimmered one by one into place above. The moon would rise late tonight, so for now, starlight was all that they had.

“You’re putting your life on the line for me,” Ryou said. They’d both been so quiet for so long that hearing the words sent a small shiver all through him. Yuusuke turned towards him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Three simple words, with far more meaning behind them than Ryou thought he’d heard in either of his lives. His heart warmed in a fashion that he didn’t think he’d ever had towards anyone else. He still didn’t have all of his memories, but perhaps that didn’t matter so very much.

“Are you sure that you can succeed?”

“No.”

At that word, Ryou opened his mouth to protest, but Yuusuke shook his head. “I don’t know who I’ll duel or what tricks they’ll use. I think we’ve learned that Ruin can’t be trusted. But whatever they do, I’ll fight for you.”

Ryou could not find it in his heart to protest. Juudai’s words came back to him; he would need his friends and he would need to develop his strength in dueling all over again. Those memories wouldn’t do enough. He needed to be himself again, and to learn just who being himself meant.

Now that he’d had time to think about it, he looked forward to everything that lay ahead in their future.

The End

Notes: At least it’s the end until I do another story in this world. I don’t know when that will be though. Sorry this is later than I wanted: my roommate and I finished KH3 the other day and I was busy decompressing from that. But here is the chapter at last! Hope that you’ve enjoyed this as much as I have. I have Such Ideas for the rest of it!