#(most annoying title overlap)

[fatalism-and-villainy]

More thoughts about how Clarice Starling might be incorporated into a post-canon scenario (i.e., a season 4 that exists in my mind palace). I know the creators wanted to adapt Silence of the Lambs, but honestly, a scenario I’d be really interested in would be featuring Hannibal (novel)-era Clarice - i.e. not a fresh and up-and-coming ingénue, but older and more jaded. I’m thinking in this timeline she would have had her career-making success without Hannibal’s help, and is encountering him (along with Will) for the first time. Probably in pursuit of some other Big Bad, and forming an uneasy alliance.

I’m interested in this because I a) do not think Hannibal is a good novel, and b) really do feel strongly about some of the threads it hints at but never fully develops. And this is especially true wrt Clarice! Like, the badwrong hypno romance with Hannibal at the end gets all the outrage, but frankly I’m less bothered by that than the casual sidelining of her character throughout the novel. We have this implied arc of woman’s career stagnating because of corruption and sexism, the woman becoming persona non grata in Washington after a scandal and sort of going rogue in deciding to rescue Hannibal… not to mention the details about her background and her craving for finer things and fascination with wealth and luxury (which, in contrast to the dissatisfying time she’s had with the FBI, actually would have sown the seeds for her possibly being compelled by going off with Hannibal, if the book had taken care to develop it). But that’s all effectively dropped! She straight-up disappears for a good chunk of the novel, and then when she reappears, despite her decision to rescue Hannibal, her importance to the story is so concentrated on her unknowingly being used as a lure for Hannibal. She doesn’t drive the plot the way she should.

So, I think it’d be cool for the showverse to explore that character arc for her, at the point in her life when she’s angry, guilt-ridden, and disillusioned. Encountering Will and Hannibal overseas could come as a result of her going vigilante for whatever reason, the way Jack does wrt Hannibal in s2-3. And there’d be an interesting overlap between the pseudo-therapy sessions she and Hannibal do in the novel Hannibal vs. the more subtly threatening/antagonistic brain-picking he engages in with her in SOTL - how would an older, more experienced Clarice respond to that SOTL routine for the first time, while in a worse emotional place than the idealism and optimism of her younger self?

And there’s a lot of interesting stuff going on in the landscape of Hannibal-the-novel where so many players in the game are corrupt and only interested in monetary gain, and the people who are actually concerned with justice - Clarice, Jack, to a lesser extent Ardelia - are fairly powerless - and then there’s Hannibal, a villain who actually has values and standards and beliefs outside of shallow materialism, twisted as though they may be. I like the idea of the post-canon story of the show Hannibal contrasting whatever weird arthouse villainy fest is going on overseas with the moral corruption and bureaucratic drudgery of the FBI back at home - I think that’d be broadly in line with both the show’s themes and premises of the novel - and see that reflected in Clarice coming in contact with Hannibal and Will (and possibly being susceptible to being swayed by Hannibal’s POV, if only temporarily.)

[zahri-melitor]

Is Zdarksy’s Batman run actually bad, or is it just messy?

I actually like Zdarsky's current Batman run and don't think 'bad' or 'messy' are actually the right words to characterise it at all.

There's a tendency when a writer gets handed one of the Big Name Titles (Batman, Detective Comics, Superman, Action Comics, Tom King's currently attempting it over in Wonder Woman) to want to produce a Genre Defining, Intellectual Run on the the title. I don't entirely blame it on Jeph Loeb and Hush, but it's undoubtedly become a lot more common since Hush sold approximately one squillion copies and has never been out of print since 2003.

Writers want to make their mark on the title and so they get caught up in interrogating Bruce's psyche rather than focusing on writing entertaining stories based in Gotham characters.

(This is also why I suggest if you want a fun Scott Snyder Batman run you read Gates of Gotham or All Star Batman rather than his Batman run, because he's trying less hard to write his Great Batman Graphic Novels and more focused on telling a good story).

At the moment we have both Chip Zdarsky and Ram V focused on writing Great Defining Batman Runs, rather than what is more common to happen, which is one of the writers on Tec or Batman is trying this and the other is focused on writing entertaining Gotham stories. Ram V's is, from all accounts, probably the one of the two that is going to end up entering The Canon.

However I certainly see more people talking about Zdarsky's run, probably because it's the more accessible of the two to pick up casually for for a run.

What ALSO doesn't help is that Ram V. is currently writing a Barbatos-based run and Zdarsky is writing a Zur-En-Arrh-based run (extremely generalised), as they're two overlapping Basic Batman Plots about forces controlling Bruce.

Why I think people are currently complaining about Zdarsky's run:-

It's based around an interrogation of Zur-En-Arrh Batman. ZEA is probably one of the least liked 'Bruce has crossed the line and is trying to be All Batman, All the Time' plots around here, because it revolves around a concept essentially invented by Grant Morrison, and people on tumblr don't like Grant Morrison's Batman.

Zdarsky is writing about Joker. People on tumblr don't like Joker and think he's overused.

Zdarsky's run has leaned quite heavily into multiversal concepts so far, but what he's looking at is different depictions of Batman The Character across different media adaptions, particularly older adaptions, and what they have to say about the central truth of Batman The Character. He's picking blokey and reddit-popular sort of titles to reference, not tumblr-popular ones.

The primary character in the run is Bruce. The secondary character in the run is Tim. Every other Bat character who passes through the run is brought in to serve a purpose to the narrative, using an aspect of their personality, and if you're a fan of another character, the fact that they're appearing as a side character or an obstacle in the story can be annoying, as the story isn't focused on the thing you cherish most about your blorbo.

I think everyone is busy blaming every aspect of the plot of Gotham War they don't like on Zdarsky, despite the fact it was written by a trio: I don't see Tini Howard or Matthew Rosenberg catching nearly as much flack for Gotham War, even as aspects of the event were pretty clearly steered by them (The Selina parts of the plot were obviously Howard. The Jason parts of the plot including the conditioning look pretty clearly to be a Rosenberg requested part of the story, given he had been consistently writing most of the published Jason content for the last 3 years).

Really, I think at its base it's that Zdarsky is digging into an aspect of the Batman mythos that tumblr doesn't particularly like, and that Zdarsky's main focus in terms of characters are Bruce and Tim. It's fashionable to complain that Tim's getting love and support by a writer for a whole lot of fanon rather than canon related reasons, PLUS Zdarsky is using the wider Gotham cast sparingly and only when he specifically wants them to work within the narrative he's telling.

Plus, it's pretty clear to my eye that Zdarsky's favourite Batman eras are about 1995-2009, and that's shaping some of his choices of characterisation using long term aspects of characters. He's a Brubaker-Rucka and a Morrison-Nicieza fan, people. He likes O'Neil era events and Batfamily writing from Gotham Knights and Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive.

[ganondoodle]

genuine genuine genuine question- wwwhy do you not like the zonai? (zonau? not sure if thats like. the worlds coolest plural or a translation difference) given your content with more monstery designs i would have thought they'd be up your alley!! however. i have also not played skyward sword (as much as id like to) and i know most of peoples upset with their existence and the totk storyline is because of its conflicts with that plot? i'm very excited to see what you do with your rewrite/botw2!! given their slight presence in faron in botw, it would be cool to see you repurpose the zonai in some way that doesn't conflict with the plot you're going for, something that makes more sense with the cryptic kinda bare minimum we had in botw? sorry if you've explained your stance on the zonai before <3

hhhhhhhh i had ranted alot about it but i hope you are prepared- (also "zonai" is sonau in german but im choosing to write it with a z so people recognize it at least, im pretty sure zonau is also the orignal japanese word for them)

i am fine with their design, in fact, i LIKE their character designs, however i dont like everything else about them.

and no its also not bc it affects skyward sword bc it doesnt affect ANYTHING in skyward sword, bc skyward sword is the VERY FIRST zelda game in the timeline and totk is nowhere near it, totk draws several paralels towards skysw bc its meant a sort of soft reset for this new era but its really just thematic overlap and references bc those are cool (i know alot of people are trying to convince the entire fandom that totk somehow is crammed into the old timeline but trust me its never anywhere near confirmed nor does it make any sense, heres the lil graphic i made last month to clarify how i think its meant to be understood .. quite obviously even -

i dont mean to sound .. mean, but some people read too much into little phrases or references to older titles (like first king of hyrule .. doesnt have to mean the literal firstest of the first ones in all of forgotten history ever, just the first of THIS hyrule for example), and while im not against theories i am very annoyed when people try to say its somehow canon when its NOT)

with that out of the way;

i dont like how they are 'integrated' into botws world, they feel unnatural and shoved in everywhere, they have been everywhere and did everythign better and cooler and no part of (this) hyrule was untouched by them their architecture feels not integrated well either and design wise its rather bland, while the sheikah shrines for example while obviously not natural and very 'techy' they still build a harmonizing contrast while the totk shrines are pretty laughably unfitting compared to them the basically complete disappearance of all sheikah tech related stuff bothers me immensely bc why would you just get rid of it istead of developing it further (i know about purahs towers and think they are just like a worse version of the previous ones; and before this argument comes up again, them destryoing it all -somehow- bc they were afraid of it being taken over again is a dumb excuse bc then they should be even more scared of zonau tech- even MORE unknown and advanced tech literally falling from the sky) you could have done SO MUCH with the ancient shiekah tech it drives me nuts

i also think it tipped the delicate balance of the kinda medival setting + high tech that botw had set up compeltely over, the zonau tech just .. is so painfully obviously only the way it is to give you little lego parts to glue together (i know its a focus of the game ... or at least the gamePLAY but it could have been done better, again i think they managed the balance perfectly with shiekah tech, its weird and isnt natural but doesnt endanger the believability of it ... the zonau tech just throws that out the window rly ... how cool would it have been if you could built lil guardian walk thingies djknhfkd )

in general they just feel like a complete replacement for the ancient shiekah and are so SO desperately trying to make the zonau the COOLER and BETTER versions of what the shiekah were (you COULD have connected them in a cool way, like there being ancient shiekah labs build in the old zonau mining facilities bc they used zonau tech as basis for their own tech etc)

like instead of building on the set up and potential botw had prepared, they just scrambled to make a 'better' version of botw, like oh no forget THAT ancient civilization we have an EVEN MORE ancient, and EVEN MORE highly developed peoples there that were also everywhere before you but also were never really hinted at- and then repeat botws structure .__.

having an old and forgotten civilization of whom only some withered ruins remain gave botw a much more real feeling, a world with a history that you will never know (you know, bc that makes it intriguing and is just .. a good choice of worldbuilding imo)- and then totk comes along and reveals everything and also nothing, we know too much of them to be intrigued by their mystery and also not enough to actually care about them (also them beign presented as the good perfectly perfectestest kingdom of light that can do no wrong other than underestimate the eeeevil guy while they also had their hands on every part of the land and made all other races be their face and nameless servants just ... thats weird man!! i know its a game, even if its only aimed at kids my god they arent stupid either!! you really present me with that and expect me to take it at face value what argh)

again i think they COULD have been integrated into it, but the way it was done completely threw me off, im not mad about them EXISTING but about how it was DONE in the game

the way they were done robs not just totk but also botw of mystery and intrigue, for example i much rather had them stay a mystery, only ever talked about in some text and some old and almost completely withered ruins left, you never get so see what happened there in the past, you can only guess, but you have to deal with the fallout anyway and thats just ONE possibility, there are so many and it feels like they chose the most boring one every single time

sometimes knowing less is better than knowing half

(maybe i can make it clearer when .. or if i can get to illustrate what could have worked -in my opinion- better .... sorry for ranting again ;__; )

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

do we think it’s a little shitty that people are trying to bribe votes on the finale using non-poll related things? like offering free commissions / content / etc in exchange for votes from ppl who don’t know the show.. is that like, i don’t want to say cheating, but just a little??? like cmon yknow???? it’s supposed to be the sexiest podcast character bracket, not the popularity, who-can-convince-more-people-to-vote bracket. just kinda wanted to express that :/

I mean, I personally don't think it's shitty. Especially when a majority of the bribes are coming from the losing side and an overlapping majority of the bribes are about the specific podcast characters (art, fic, songs). I especially especially think it's fair game when they're up against Carlos the Scientist from Welcome to Night Vale. Whose husband got over 106,000 votes less than a year ago, and yet Carlos beat Cecil by more than 2-to-1.

Nobody needs to be swayed by a bribe, they make a conscious choice to take it. Plus, I am interested in making fence-sitters and those unfamiliar with both characters vote, which is one of the reasons I don't have a "show results" option on the tournament polls. Additionally, people are always going to vote for reasons unrelated to sexiness and I can't stop that, whether it's to spite a character that knocked out their fave in an earlier round, or one of the contestants earned their respect by knocking out their fave, or their friend told them to, or they like how much propaganda a side has posted even if they find the quality of that propaganda unconvincing, or they're annoyed by the propaganda and petty about it, or they like the art used, or they personally have gender preferences in their sexual attraction, or they listened to one of the podcasts first, or they have a longstanding grudge against a podcast for reasons unrelated to the character, etc.

You, Anon, can of course think it's shitty and be annoyed or bummed out or whatever. I agree that it shouldn't be a popularity contest, but unfortunately there isn't a way to stop tumblr tournaments from being popularity contests unless it's one of those tournaments where they strip all titles and names and you must vote on description only. And my personal understanding is that on Tumblr, Welcome to Night Vale is the most popular fiction podcast.

[deadchovsky]

okay, im going to rant about soldier, poet, king because PEOPLE ARE STILL MISINTERPRETING IT and im mad about it.

Obligatory disclaimer: Mentions of Christianity, obviously. Also, I myself am not a Christian. However, I REALLY like the Oh Hellos. If you couldn't tell.

Soldier, Poet, King is the tenth song of the Dear Wormwood album by The Oh Hellos. Dear Wormwood is heavily inspired by CS Lewis (hence the title, which comes from the Screwtape Letters.) The story of the album is about an abusive relationship, which uses aspects of their inspirations as metaphors for the overarching narrative.

(from their website)

Soldier, Poet, King has aspects that are clearly drawn from the bible, yes. We all know this. Everyone who has ever done a surface level search of the lyrics on Genius can tell you this. Congrats, you know a basic aspect of The Oh Hellos.

However, if you leave it at that, you are just ignoring the literal message of the song. Aside from the people everyone and their mother complains about ("omg i can't believe this is abt jesus :(( i can't use this song for my blorbos anymore :((("), there's also a really annoying subsection of people who are like this:

THEY DIDN'T DO THIS. Let me break down the soldier verse for you because this is making me so mad.

There will come a soldier

Who carries a mighty sword

He will tear your city down, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh Lord

He will tear your city down, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

Crazy how this tiny ass verse got misinterpreted that badly, btw. Anyways. This verse has direct references that come from THE BIBLE.

Revelations 1:16- "In his right hand he held seven stars, from his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword, and this face was like the sun shining in full strength."

Revelations 19:15- "From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty."

Because of these, I'D ARGUE THAT JESUS IS MENTIONED TO HAVE A SWORD MULTIPLE TIMES, ACTUALLY. Given, it's metaphorical most of the time, but come on now. Also, it's not saying he's a literal soldier in the lyrics. I'd argue that it's more meant to imply a reform, especially consider the next verse is:

There will come a poet

Whose weapon is His word

He will slay you with His tongue, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh Lord

He will slay you with His tongue, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

If his weapon is his word, does this not imply that the sword from the previous verse is metaphorical? If he's slaying with his tongue, doesn't that mean that he's "tearing your city down" with his fucking words? If we're to say that this song is about a singular person, which it is (it's using jesus as an analogy for the protagonist), then these lyrics have overlap, and his SWORD is his WORDS. NOT A LITERAL SWORD.

Anyways, rant concluded.

TLDR; Jesus is an analogy for the protagonist of the Dear Wormwood album, the "sword" referenced in the first verse and his "word" referenced in the second verse are the same thing, which has biblical basis, especially in Revelations.

[invested-in-your-future]

In a potential rewrite, How would you handle the character of Sun Wukong?

To start with:

I am not doing the pointless Menagerie trip where a character based upon one of the most notable Chinese stories just awkwardly tags along to be made fun of, all just because RT felt like they needed to tip the scales of plausible deniability and had no idea what to do with him beyond wanting to make a single pun based on title of the work of literature the character is from.

The way I see it, the focus SHOULD be on Team RWBY, primarily. The original structure of meeting other characters that was in the first three volumes can still work world-wide as the story follows those four specific characters journeys.

The first three volumes introduced a ton of characters from all over the world that RT then proceeded to never use again and instead added-on even more characters(that they also then never used again). Which is weird because all of those characters that were there for Vytal Tournament, Sun included, went through a pretty terrifying event together. There's plenty of ways to use them. It's not just the four leads that went through something life-changing and would have to go their own ways, taking different lessons from what they experienced there.

One of the most annoying parts of MilesWBY for me have been characters just existing to appear when they need to further the main plot. You know how anything characters do or think HAS to be tied to either the leads or the threat of Salem somehow and if it doesn't the characters just stop existing or don't matter. When, ironically, side-characters having their own stories and lives off-screen is basically what you WOULD use "offscreen progression" for - the idea that other characters that are not in the spotlight are doing things on their own and have goals of their own that then get revealed and tie together into main story.

So instead, I sort of charted out where various characters are right now and why are they there, what are they doing and so on. Some are involved in things in the background that characters might hear about, while others might be more involved in a more direct way, if plotlines overlap. If characters travel, the idea of them sometimes encountering people they know should be a given, no?

The way I see it, Sun has a certain journey to go through that's not really directly tied to the lead four, but is important long term. And there's A LOT to pick and choose from as far as allusions go to the work of literature he is based upon. What he's up to is alluded to through the parts I planned out till it's spelled out and starts overlapping with other plot threads.

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 124 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: putting up a new fence.

Another meta-title. The statement giver and their mum got left hanging on the cable car and after that Martin leaves Jon hanging...

JON: "Statement of Julian Jennings regarding a cable car journey up the Untersberg mountain in Austria" Wohooo, home match! A few fun thoughts: A friend of mine texted me when he was listening to this episode "I'm just driving through Salzburg and this statement comes up!" I haven't been to the Untersberg even though it's only a bit over an hour drive from my home. I like mountains but I have almost no desire of climbing them. Trust me when I say most Austrians find this shocking. Almost everybody’s hobby here is hiking...(same goes for skiing or snowboarding or whatever). My sister’s been there though. Maybe I'll check it out some day... Also, the name "Untersberg" sounds like such a made-up name to me, but I guess names really are that blunt around here. 

"It must have been the old man, of course, but again, why?" Hmmm, a cable car up a mountain, so heights... and an old man. I wonder who could that be??  ¬‿¬

"Her big passion was mountains; we always had to go up a mountain." Fun fact, just recently a study had been released which confirms that people can get addicted to mountaineering.

"He picked up the phone next to the controls and started speaking annoyed German into it, but from his expression it didn’t seem like he was getting any answers." This is very accurate! One, Austrians actually are annoyed and grumpy all the time and two, it’s hard to get helpful answers from other Austrians...

"Then, without warning, and without any input from the driver, the car began to move again. It traveled upwards, gaining speed and swinging with such force I was afraid that we’d all we thrown out of the open door. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. We should have hit another tower, or the top of the mountain by now, but we just kept going, higher, and higher" That's such a typical theme of Fairchild's Vast shenanigans. All surroundings disappear and you're just left in a huge open space.

"His eyes widened in sudden realization, but before he could pull back from the edge, an arm, long, grey, and completely inhuman, reached down from above with terrible speed." That's new though. It definitely adds to the horror of the statement. This unknown thing sitting on top of the cable car.

Martin's evading everyone, but he can't escape Jon forever!

Jon sounds so hopeful at first, and Martin is so dismissive. Also we have now reached the peak of the awkward stuttering phase of both of them.

JON: "Right. Working for Lukas." MARTIN: "Ah, N-no, P-Peter’s –" (sighs) [[clipped syllable]] (composes himself) "It’s complicated." [BEAT] JON: "Right." Calling Lukas by his first name, making the impression that he indeed got cozy with Elias' successor.

MARTIN: "Anyway, I… should, uh [get back to] –" JON: (overlapping) "H-how are you, Martin? I-Is everything…" MARTIN: "Yeah. Yeah, no, I’m, I’m alright, uh… everything’s… fine." JON: "Right. Um… how’s… h-how’s the poetry?" MARTIN: "Oh, uh, well, I haven’t exactly had a lot of time recently, so…" JON: "Yes, of course." Martin's trying to leave and shrugs off every question and Jon is just grasping at straws, desperately trying to get Martin to stay and talk to him. Even when things were bad in S2 with paranoia!Jon, Martin was there for him. And now even he is distant. If Jon can even find him at all, that it.

JON: "W,w,we’ll – it was – good – (softer) It was good to see you." MARTIN: "…Yeah." He doesn't say it back T_T

@a-mag-a-day

[missbrunettebarbie]

TTPD -the album proper- first thoughts

Here are some thoughts about TTPD -the album proper, cause I do not have the time or energy to analyze The Anthology (Taylor, wtf was this double drop???)- before I’m influenced by other people’s thoughts. Warning: I may be waaaay off the mark in some cases cause half the time when I was listening to these songs for the first time I was like “???”

Fortnight (feat. Post Malone) - Great melody, smart choice for an album opener, nice lyrics, no idea wtf the song is talking about. Like, I am guessing it’s about (a first?) break-up with Joe Alwyn in February -and they might have gotten back together for only a fortnight then broke up again for good?- but I’m so confused. Also, why is this the lead single? Taylor, this is not gonna win you SOTY at the grammys. 7/10

The Tortured Poets Department - This was … unexpected, to say the least. This was truly a picture of a moment in her relationship, while I expected either some kind of introspection or parody. Also the line about what he told Lucy and she said the same to Jack? Insane. Girl, you are both better off single. The ring and the wedding allusion? God, it hurt. (And it was only the beginning with this album…). Amazing song anyway. 9.5/10

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys - Girl, this is mental illness for me. Love it to bits and I kinda wish it will become a single (I think it’s my … 3rd choice for a single?), but… girl, I’m happy you two broke up. 9.5/10

Down Bad - I had low expectations from this song cause the title inspired nothing in me, but it really delivered a punch. Probably one of the most honest songs on the album proper. Oh, and her vocals here? Her tone of voice? No notes, it just … hits different *_* 8/10

So Long London - Funny enough, I did hear a leak of this! But it was like … 10 seconds from the intro and I wasn’t sure it was real. It is a very good song, and I can understand why she chose it as a track 5. But for me, when compared to other track 5s -and with a title so inflammatory- it was a bit of a let down. Still love it of course. 8.5/10

But Daddy I Love Him - This one is about Matty Healy, isn’t it? Like, it has to be, cause for the life of me I can’t see who this guy could be but Matty Healy. This song … I laughed out loud. She’s unhinged. ‘I’m having his baby’. Girl, you are unhinged. The wedding fever continues, and now we get the first glimpse of the baby fever. God, I love her. You can literally hear how done she was with everyone having an opinion about whom she dates. I need to listen to this and I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) back to back, cause this girl was so so wrong. Except that bridge. The bridge is gospel and spoke straight to my soul. 10/10

Fresh Out the Slammer - And I’m guessing this is the continuation of the track before, so still about MH. I have to say, this is really meh for me. Maybe because I was expecting something even more high tempo, but this is just … there for me. It doesn’t help that the ‘pretty baby’ annoys me. 6/10

Florida!!! - Nice to see Florence get so much singing time. Their voices mashed surprisingly well. But just like with Fortnight -and these two do seem connected- I have no idea what she is talking about here. I think it might be a composite sketch referring to both her first post break-up shows and Florida as a metaphor for escaping from your life? Idek. But the melody is great and this might be my fave collab of hers so far. 8.5/10

Guilty as Sin? - Another Matty Healy one IMO. Amazing how much material she got from such a short-lived affair. IMO she made a mistake making this track 9 and Florida!!! track 8. I would switch them around to make more sense. I’m not 100% sure this is about emotional cheating, as I think the Joever break-up wasn’t as clear cut as it was made to be, but there is something here about overlapping timelines. 9/10

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me? - Well, everyone should be now!!! I adore this song, it’s my fave of the album. If I have one complaint about it is that I would have put it more towards the beginning of the album instead of in the middle of the Matty Healy Saga - which makes no sense to me. Honestly, I don’t have much to say about this track cause in my eyes it’s perfect. This is the Taylor I’m here for. 10/10

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - That last line! I laughed so hard. On one hand, I feel sorry for her. Otoh, girl, you should have run the first time you saw him. Great song to end the Matty Healy Saga on. 9/10

loml - Wow, this was a punch to the gut. Every lyric here is a masterpiece and a dagger to the heart. I would love it if she made this a single (this is SOTY material IMO), but it’s probably too emotional for her. The melody reminds me of Last Kiss, but the piano is giving Evermore. 10/10

I Can Do It With a Brokern Heart - Why is this not the lead single, Taylor??? It has everything: melody, lyrics, airplay value, SOTY potential, why?! I love every single second of this song, especially the chorus. I’m probably gonna listen to it on repeat. Second fave after WAOLOM. 10/10

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Every song I thought was gonna be cutting turned out to be just plain sad. IMO, this song is both about JA and MH. I don;t really have much to say about this song, as it is just .. painful. 9.5/10

The Alchemy - Yeah, I’m team This Song is About Travis. Nice song, and I like that she included something about the current relationship, but it’s not exactly a fave for me. 7.5/10

Clara Bow - This was my predicted fave, but it was def dethroned. Still, I do think this is Top 5 for me. I love the direct reference to herself at the end and the way this is both hopeful and still somewhat sad. Also really like the vocals here. 10/10

Final score: 8.87 

Not bad at all. Gonna deal with The Anthology later. Much later as I actually have a life to go back to.

[titleleaf]

What are the Bad Hannigram Takes you're encountering? I watched the show but never got too involved in the fandom so I am fascinated

Oh god I'm so sorry, I have no idea how coherent any of this will be if you haven't dipped into the fandom and even for my part I've been mainly watching and reading from afar but hereeeee... are my thoughts. Disclaimer that YMMV, let people have fun, etc., but I am a gigantic hater.

[fandom negativity and a leetle canon-related negativity behind the cut: if for whatever reason you don't want to hear me bitching about people being Wrong On The Internet About A TV Show keep scrolling, mute me, block me, whatever]

Character-specific tunnel vision where Hannibal is the center of the universe -- not just in the sense that he's, yk, the title character of the show and the most memorable character created by Thomas Harris but in the sense that all characters are evaluated by how much they support or obstruct Hannibal's God-given right to do whatever he wants to anybody ever. And my God, it is so, so boring.

Nothing is ever Hannibal's fault, either. Delicate use of the exonerative passive voice — oh it's so sad, Will was framed, Beverly was murdered, Abigail was killed, but by whom? Hard to say! Especially funny when people whip this out regarding shit even Hannibal plainly regrets, like framing Will and then not having Will to hang out with. In general downplaying Hannibal's agency is such a weird move with a character who takes so much pleasure in doing what he wants. "To what extent are people a product of their external influences and life traumas, to what extent is Hannibal capable of not killing" is a whole other conversation but it's just a very odd reading of the character and the show as a text.

Nothing is ever Hannibal's fault, because it's actually the fault of... [scans crowd] that woman over there! Weird misogyny, often overlapping with the above (bc boy howdy, the list of women who Hannibal kills, maims, tortures, or otherwise fucks over is not short — Abigail, Alana, Bella, Beverly, Bedelia, Miriam, Margot, Georgia… I guess Freddie makes it out okay?) but sometimes seemingly just because, or to exonerate Hannibal of all blame for his own actions toward Will, as if this is the kind of show where it’s vitally important our blorbos be morally pure. Like… I’m sorry but I don’t think this is the show for you if that’s the case. People are really weird about Alana, people are really really weird about Bedelia, people are turbo weird about Molly... I'm sure there are people out there being weird about Chiyoh but I haven't encountered them yet, and I feel like there's some uhhhh other factors in play there too.

Baffling ship war stuff even once the canon's long since finished airing. I'm a big multishipper for this fandom so the weird competitive approach where Will and Hannibal's love must be the only real love (or even the only real erotic desire) they've either ever experienced ever is really off-putting. Showrunner Word of God here regarding Will's sexual orientation is in itself a take that annoys me, as a humorless bisexual man, but this is more commonly expressed via weird not-joking "jokes" about how the only reason Hannibal would ever have sex with a woman would be as an elaborate ruse (and how she'd deserve it for being stupid enough to believe he'd be into women) or how Hannibal's a better wife to Will than Molly ever could be. Dude... relax... your pairing has a literal love theme like a 1990s erotic thriller, why are you this insecure. People will do this with characters who don't even appear in the show! Now why is Clarice in it???? I need people to just be normal.

Nice polite sweet tea-sippin' Southern boy Will, and his equally annoying twin brother, Will with an inexplicable and phonetically-rendered Southern accent. 50% me being an extremely sensitive buzzkill about how the text presents Will's childhood and how the romanticized vision of the American South people draw on is superficial and rooted in white supremacist nostalgia, 50% me being a person who can hear Hugh Dancy speak dialogue in a television show and recognize basic American regional accents.

General... accrued fanon, I guess? All the tropes and memes and fandom in-jokes and fandom characterizations that build on one another to the point where their relationship to the show as a text (or to the novels, for that matter) is pretty damn tenuous.

In general, and while I know where this is coming from as a lover of dark stories/horror media/dark and destructive love stories who’s gotten flak for all of that: people getting so defensive about shipping something ~*~*~*problematique~*~* that they take other people talking about the things that textually make their dynamic fucked up (even if they’re talking about those things as something they like or something they enjoy exploring with the canon) as an attack or a sign somebody's Interrogating The Text From The Wrong Perspective. I think the show itself has some narrative weaknesses that lend themselves to this kind of fandom circlejerk but please... please Lord... I just want to write about a really weird guy getting his dick stepped on whilst classical music plays and having the time of his life, why is everyone doing this to me

On the much more benign end of things, “Will is totally normal average everyman while Hannibal is weird and pretentious and fruity” bc it just makes them sitcom parents. Show!Will is a weird fucking guy in his own right! They're both weird! And they're in love!

[songsofbloodandwater]

Regarding trying to create a "pantheon" of my own: I ended up settling for Titles rather than Names for daily worship, acknowledging cycles and the forces at play and such things.

Which on one hand, is kind of annoying, because I like being specific, but on the other hand, it means there's Courts of Spirits rather than Individual Gods. There's more options available for the practitioner to find the best fit for them, allows me to stay in touch with more Folks On The Other Side more easily, and it's not difficult to narrow it down for special dates or when specific results are needed.

But it also means most of the time you don't really know who you're talking to unless they somehow let you know. Sometimes the same Spirit can fit under two or more of these titles, and titles can have subtypes of sorts, or be related in some way I didn't expect, or overlap in the weirdest ways creating more amalgamations than I initially thought, and it gets complicated fast.

The fluidity of it all is very comfortable for everyday work and worship, since each Title is more of a "Spiritual Niche". It says more about the "Functional characteristics" of the Spirits that fill it, and makes it easier to understand how they work and interact with each other, aswell as how the entire "spiritual ecosystem" works, and then apply all that knowledge to craft. (Is it too obvious that I am an ecologist trying to make sense of all this in a very ecology way?)

I'm still figuring out the details, but overall: it works, it stays.

[dimitrscu]

Lmfao not surprised about the (most likely) straight dudes making those salty comments about finlay. Look, if malenia were real or if those dudes existed in the world of ER, i am 1000% sure malenia wouldn't even give them the attention she gave godrick. Plus hey im willing to bet those dudes overlap with those other dudes who complain unconstructively about malenias boss fight. It just feels like they're that kind of gamerbrodudes.

When you’ve been around enough fandoms like I have you kind of get used to this sort of thing but yeah they’re 100% salty straight men there’s no doubt. The thing that’s funny is turning around and saying Malenia’s not/can’t be a lesbian is just flat out untrue because there’s absolutely no reference to her having a love interest of any kind. So for that alone people can headcanon whatever they want. I am really not in the business of trying to gatekeep characters and ‘ship wars’ or whatever don’t interest me in the slightest, but what I do get annoyed with is how these comments always end up being fueled by homophobia. It’s never *insert valid reason why I don’t like ship* and instead it’s just “you fucking gays try to ruin everything” and that’s when it hurts cause it gets personal, you know? I’m already made to feel bad about my sexuality by the people in my everyday life, I really don’t need that shit on here too. I get that it’s the internet and you’re always going to come across these people, but at least there’s the block button on here.

(tw: rape mention below the cut)

So yeah if I’m being honest I’ve seen way too many men talk about her in disgusting ways, either venting because of her boss fight or because of lore (R*dahn fanboys are still nuts go figure). That it kind of puts me off listening to what they have to say about her cause most of the time their comments are filled with violent misogyny. So many clips I see of her fight have titles like “giving the bitch what she deserves” or “putting the bitch in her place”. But hey that’s got nothing to do with her being a woman right? Just people being annoyed at the fight, right? How some folks like to outright deny the exsitence of sexist dudebros in this fandom is beyond me. Have they never been around gaming communities before? Just because they might not see them themselves doesn't mean they don't exsit. It’s not so bad now, but there was a time it was so difficult looking up content for her cause I’d end up seeing rape porn or fics or other nasty things. Imagine getting so angry at a boss fight in a video game that your first thought is rape. If that’s were your mind goes you’ve got a problem. I don’t believe in these types of fetishes at all. No normal person thinks about these things, fictional or not. And saying it’s only fiction and that no one wants to actually do these things irl is just an excuse to justify themselves. There are people out there who do very much get influenced by the things they see online and then act on it in real life. So it’s not just innocent fiction if you ask me.

I’ve gotten way off topic, sorry about that. So basically yeah these types of men are shit and they can die mad for all I care

[theundyingmermaid]

Levi x Reader

Also published it on Wattpad 😅

📖📚 - Link

I'm still thinking about a story title :). If you have an idea on what should I call this fanfiction let me know ✨

I'll edit the book cover once I got a story title, for now it'll be just plain "Levi x Reader"

Hope you'll like this story ☺️

I had this story in mind for four years and I badly wanted to write it but my laziness gets a head of me. I just suddenly had the urge to write it. 😳

Reminder :

I do not own Attack on Titan nor any of the characters.

If I made a grammatical errors please consider that my first language isn't English.

This is a work of fiction. Fanfiction to be exact.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

CHAPTER 1 • Clearing the Paths for Survey Corps •

It was mid-day, the weather is fine, sky is clear, the wind is calm and only the sound of birds chirping are heard. You sat on one of the giant trees with your left leg hanging down and the other right was up, your elbow resting on your right knee. You watched the quiet and empty scenery disregarding the terrifying truth hidden behind this forest.

'It's almost time' you said in your mind. You knew that the soldiers will be here soon, trying to accomplish one of their expeditions again. You finally get up from sitting and tuck few of the strands away from your face. Cold wind begun to blow against your skin, your (h/l, h/c) waves through the whistling air. You raised your head up as your (e/c) eyes followed the green line that shoots up to the sky.

A smirk was formed on your lips. Finally, the day has come, the misery of this people will be finished soon.

~

It was the 35th Expedition of the survey corps led by Keith Shadis. All the soldiers are moving to their designated positions. Squad leaders moved along with their members.

On the other side of the field a person with a pair of glasses on their eyes are quickly heading to a raven haired man. Giving the fact that he knows who might be following him, the man just stared blankly straight on his way without looking back to confirm his prediction.

"hey Levi!! Aren't you excited!?-".

"No"

The man shortly replied in immediate, not even letting the person that is now on his side finished their sentence.

Levi quickly made his horse speed up his movement, hopefully the four-eyed nerd will stop bothering him anymore but unluckily she  still followed him.

"Hange, focus on your task and stop talking to me" Levi made an annoyed sound, his dark eyebrows now furrowed.

"How about no? I just can't shorty! I hope something exciting happened today!"

"Yeah like titans eating most of our soldiers" he said coldly, eyes still fixed on their way. "No not that! I mean, like something really, really interesting!" Hange chirped not minding Levi's negative response.

"The chance of us dying is higher than fulfilling your assumptions." Hange pretended she didn't heard what the man said and continued heading to their destination.

After minutes of traveling, the soldiers finally reached the forest. Not stopping from moving quickly, the sound of their horses stomps filled the quiet forest. Birds started flying around, others flew away from the woods. The scenery changed from being calm to somewhat spine-chilling.

The soldiers kept moving, they cannot stop anyway, they're already here and to die without a fight is unacceptable.

The forest ground began to shake, screams of few soldiers overlapping the cries of one another. It was a total nightmare, blood splashing to the giant tree's skin. Turning brown colored woods into red.

Levi continued moving quickly, aiming to reach the said destination. Although he felt bad about his comrades dying he cannot stop, he has a given tasks to accomplish.

They kept on moving until another group of soldiers from their side intersected their team, joining on their line, they now started to head in one direction.

Hange, the four-eyed person made her way to levi but before she could even speak he cut her with his cold and low voice saying...

"Exciting huh?"

The woman decided to keep her mouth shut, realizing it's not the right time to said those kind of things. For now they just need to meet Erwin and the other soldiers, capture atleast one titan and end this expedition.

At a distance, (y/n) heavily landed on one of the tall tree's branches. Wiping few droplets on your face, you tried to maintain your breathing. You looked down at the corpses of the titans you've killed and made a small smirk.

"You're welcome Survey Corps" you chuckled. Staring at the figures now heading to your location, you made sure that you are well hidden so that no one will notice your presence. Pulling the dark colored hood of your coat to your face, trying your best to conceal your identity.

The soldiers halted, shockingly stared at the steaming bodies of dead titans in the middle of the forest. They looked at the amount of titan corpses in confusion, wondering how and who did this.

"What the fuck?" Said levi as he made his horse stopped. He then looked at Hange who's now has her mouth agape and eyes round as a circle. She then shakes her head and move closer to the steaming bodies and turned her gaze back to levi with an annoying look on her face.

"So this is the exciting part!" Hange said, finally getting back to her senses. She was about to go near the dead titans but a soldier stopped her stating how dangerous it is to get closer to the titans.

"We must inform the bald commander about this" Levi said as he caught the other soldier's attention. A squad leader took their flare gun and shot a smoke signal into the air. Couple of soldiers made their way to the commander's location, more likely to inform Shadis.

Not so long after, another group of soldiers headed to their location. A man with a thick eyebrows and a blonde colored hair was leading the group and stopped Infront of the titan corpses. The corpses are now turned into bones, collapsing on the ground still releasing hot steams.

"One of the soldiers came to me, told me about the situation." The blonde man said the moment he got close to Levi and Hange's location. Hange jump down from her horse finally got the chance to examine the entire place.

"We still don't have any idea who did this Erwin." Hange said while scratching her head. She then looked at Levi and smiled widely.

"Isn't this amazing!? It's another mystery we should solve!!" She said.

"Wasn't the Titan's existence enough?" Levi replied. The raven-haired made a click sound with his tongue.

"Hehe! You're so serious levi! What if they just wanted to make friends with us!?" Hange laughed.

"We do not know if this occurrence was done by an enemy or a person who wanted to help, surely one person cannot kill such numbers of titans" Levi stated looking directly to Erwin.

"You have a point there Levi but the main thing that we need clearance is the people behind this incident" Erwin said, the other soldiers are now listening to them.

"That's exactly what I said!" Hange stated with a loud voice while smiling like a dork. Levi glared at her because of her flashiness which she instantly noticed. Hange then made a serious face and cleared her throat.

"Well if we are to recall the situation, the Titan's bodies are still in forms, their flesh hasn't evaporated yet which means-"

"Which means the titans just got killed a few moments you arrived in here" Erwin said as he cuts Hange's explanation. Their attention was then caught by Levi.

"If that's the case then the people behind this are still around, either they are still near our location or they are watching us right now" The Raven-haired man said. His statement made the soldiers look around their location. Some of them murmurs something towards their fellow members and some of them wandered their eyes around the giant trees surrounding them.

"The Commander is here!!" A soldier shouted, they maybe saw them coming when they are wandering around the forest.

Hange climbed back to her horse and made her way on Levi and Erwin's side. The Commander instantly asked them about the situation and they stated the same beliefs they told to each other recently. Commander Keith Shadis looked at the place where the dead titans were located before, now only some marks are left because of the evaporation. He then sighed and ordered the soldiers to retreat, they will be discussing the incident once they got home, which is a safer place for them to converse about.

Erwin took a flare gun from his pocket and fired a blue flare into the sky. The soldiers started heading back, out of the forest.

Meanwhile, you are watching them from above, you are peeking on top of a huge branch so it'll be hard for them to see you.

"I just cleared the path for these soldiers and now they're retreating? Bunch of cowards" you whispered, your feet are hanging as you sat on the edge of the tree branch. You swayed your legs playfully as you watched the Survey Corpse made their way back to the walls.

You know very well that the incident will be a serious discussion for them and they will come back pretty soon.

(Y/N) - Your name

(H/L) - Hair Length

(H/C) - Hair Color

(E/C) - Eye Color

[narastories]

PSA - Navigation

I’ve overcome my denial and accepted that I’ll probably dabble in a few fandoms as a fic writer in the foreseeable future. So I went ahead and organized my tags a little.

This is by no means the blog of an organized tumblrina, but I did a little clean-up. Mostly for myself, maybe some of you will also find it helpful. I put my most used fandom-related tags out on little buttons if you are on PC, because this super-duper design has 10 of them. Highly recommend these themes btw.

If you’re interested in my fics, my AO3 is here.

I also have a gif sideblog that I occasionally post to.

And here is the non-exhaustive list if you want to block/find something:

- most Outlander stuff is tagged as #lord john grey since he’s the one I care about the most (and Tom, but they are usually attached on this blog)

- BJR obviously comes with his own trigger warning #tw: black jack randall

- Dresden Files is filed under #nara’s dresden phase now. There is also #denarian brainrot Look if you dare or filter out to save your soul. Fair warning, there is a lot of overlap when it comes to my blog.

- all Fetch Phillips Archives stuff is under (surprise) #fetch phillips archives and I can finally stop annoying myself by tagging everything with the first book title

- I usually tag fic posts as #my fic or #fic rec as applicable but you can also check out my masterlist which I also moved to a button bc while it’s pretty, it also took up a lot of space. (And I’m not the best at updating this regularly tbh)

- other things I reblog a lot of are: #hellraiser, #kuroshitsuji, Punishing: Gray Raven is tagged #nara shut up about pgr challenge, and Genshin Impact is under #genshin impact ate my brain

And then you can always try your luck with shipping tags ;)

Enjoy sifting through my collection of shiny things if you so desire xx

[ahungeringknife]

365: April 25

Shin and Savant's friendship is so excellent I'm so glad they're friends even if Shin would rather eat glass than admit it aloud where Savant could hear

---

Shin had his eyes closed while he sat in his cockpit. He wasn't sleeping he just had nothing better to do between Gambit games sometimes. His Ghost was playing some music in the back of the ship, entertaining itself more than anything. He was going over the last game in his mind, bickering with that stupid ass EXO Savant, and Wolf yelling at them both to shut up and shoot the Invader. The music got louder and he opened one eye to see his Ghost float over. "What?" he asked.

His Ghost said nothing, just popped open. "Shin!" Savant's cheerful voice came out of his Ghost.

"I have told you not to call me," Shin said aggravated.

He was completely ignored. "Did you know you have a fanclub?"

Shin rolled his eyes. As if this was a topic of conversation. Also yes he was very aware of both his creepy Crucible fanclub full of Guardians and his creepy in a different way fanclub of Lightless. "If you're just now realizing I have-

"No no! I mean like... Skinner has a fanclub."

Shin blinked at his Ghost who looked at him with the same expression he was giving his Ghost: what the fuck? Skinner wasn't even a real person. A lazy alias to play Gambit to keep an eye on Drifter. Shin was also one of the only paper Dredgens who's name was also their Dredgen title. How the fuck did his fake bullshit keep attracting fans? He wasn't even nice! He still didn't know how he'd accumulated followers as Dredgen Vale sometimes. Shin was not a super charismatic person and Vale was just him pretending to be like Jaren to the point of parody. Skinner was even less likable. On purpose!

"What?" he asked, incredulous, almost insulted that somehow Skinner had a fanclub. That somehow Shin had accumulated a fanclub for another alias.

"Yeah!"

"And you're telling me this why? Also why the fuck do you know this?"

"Dredgen Hunter has a fan club too," Savant prattled on. "Which I thought was really cool so I engage with them. Lightless are kinda crazy but they're all pretty excited I interact with them. Also since I've been playing with you and Wolf there's been some overlap with Wolf's crazy ass fanclub." Yeah, Shin had seen that only on the periphery of his engagements on Crucible apps or some newsletters he was subscribed to. But every time they brushed up against his sphere of giving a shit he was a little terrified of how absolutely wild the Young Wolf's main fanclub was. "They ask me about her all the time and I just play dumb about a lot. Not hard. But most of it really isn't any of my business," Savant was still talking. "There's only been some overlap recently and when I saw what was happening I laughed so hard I nearly reset myself."

"Considering how stupid you are that doesn't shock me," Shin growled.

Savant never took Shin's heat to heart. Which annoyed him honestly. Shin had absolutely made lesser men shrivel up with a well placed biting word. It just pinged off Savant. "And I had to share," and suddenly Shin's pockit started vibrating like crazy. He fished it out of the pouch he kept it in and opened it up. He'd just gotten eight private messages from a fireteam member.

"What the fuck did you send me?"

"Just look!"

Grumbling Shin opened the link in the first message. He was aware of Lightless writing fictional prose about their favorite Guardians. Hell almost every biography published about him was fictional. But there was stuff on the net too, unpublished. And he did his best not to interact with it. He'd been friends? Acquaintances? Crucible partners? With someone who got invested in their own fanclub's bullshit. It'd been so fucking weird and completely ruined their relationship. Also like three quarters of it was fans writing weird relationship stuff that just... baffled him.

This message was to a site he'd never been to but recognized it for what it was. A hub for collecting fan written stories about their favorite Guardians, specifically Gambit players by all the green and snake icons. Shin was regretting even looking as he scanned the meta tags about the story in question.

"I'm going to fucking. Kill you," Shin snapped at Savant through his Ghost. On the other end Savant howled with laughter. "Don't show me this fucking garbage!" Savant just kept laughing. This particular story was about a sexual (or romantic, he didn't read that far) relationship between Dredgen Hunter and Dredgen Skinner.

"Isn't it fucking amazing?" Savant asked around his laughter.

"No!"

"It's so stupid I had to share! And there's more," Savant giggled foolishly, his voice box hiccuping in a way that would be endearing if Shin wasn't fucking furious.

"Don't fucking tell me that," Shin growled. "You fucking piss me off."

"Not according to your fangirls," Savant teased him.

"Are you on your ship or the Derelict?"

"Derelict," Savant said smugly. Shin growled wordlessly. Savant knew Shin wouldn't transmat directly onto the Derelict to beat his ass like he would if he was on ship.

"You are letting me invade the rest of the day for assaulting my eyes with this bullshit," Shin growled.

"Okay okay okay," Savant said snickering. His pockit vibrated a few times. "Those aren't about us," he told Shin.

"I don't want any of these!" Shin all but shouted.

"They're about Skinner and Wolf," Savant said coyly.

"Who they're about doesn't matter. Fuck you. Ghost, end the call," he snapped, done with this bullshit. His Ghost closed to the sound of Savant's giggling.

"Huh," his Ghost said.

"Fucking hate that guy," Shin growled and slouched in his chair, arms folded.

"Want me to disconnect from the fireteam?"

"No," he still wanted to play with Wolf and if he did he'd have to suffer playing with Savant too.

"He is very annoying," his Ghost agreed with him. Just about the only thing he and his Ghost did agree on. He floated away and once more started playing music to entertain himself in the ship cabin.

Shin sat there for a few minutes before pulling his pockit out again and going to Savant's messages. He ignored the original messages but... fuck who was he kidding? He was super interested in seeing what the Wolf Skinner ones were like. He might have been in denial but he wasn't a fucking fool either. Making sure his Ghost wasn't paying attention to him he opened one of the DredgenWolf/DredgenSkinner links. It was pretty self indulgent but fuck it he could be a bit self indulgent now and then. Right?

[regallibellbright]

I have decided that today I will be sharing a Pro Gamer Strat from Story of Seasons (subtitleless). Because I can.

For context: The early game of this particular Bokujou Monogatari title is radically different from the midgame because of the shipping mechanics - instead of having a shipping box, you have merchants coming from various countries on certain days of the week, each with their own stock. In the later stages of the game, this doesn’t matter as much because you’ll have someone every day of the week. For the first chunk of the game, though, you’ll only have one merchant (in Spring) or two (in Summer, if you’ve shipped enough.) They’re not in every day, and they overlap in their visiting days, so you have to budget inventory space and money throughout the week until they show up.

This is a pretty involved system, and I get why it didn’t stick around in the next game (which also used some mechanics involving shipping to multiple locations, but used the standard shipping box.) Especially because, again, this only matters for the first two seasons if you do it right - Fall of Year One unlocks three new merchants if you’ve shipped enough to the first two, and between them you’ll have someone in every day and the challenge is just in unlocking the last two merchants with specific item quotas and who it’s most efficient to ship what to. But I’ve always found it an interesting little challenge, and I have a love/hate relationship with the early game. Love because it’s interesting to play around with those mechanics before you don’t have to worry about it (I’d be way more annoyed if it weren’t temporary.) Hate because my Spring and Summer Year 1 experience are usually defined by save-scumming.

There are a couple other gimmicks in this title. One of them (Field Conquests, another system that was cool in theory but in practice they’re too spread out to really utilize well without eating ALL your time,) I’ll only touch on. The others were heavy customization of your farmland and town, like immediate predecessor A New Beginning, and a foraging mechanic where you could jump into rivers around the town and dive for items. This is, again, way more important in the early game where you need money and resources and have plenty of time than in the late game, where you need time. It is also important because it’s one of the only ways until mining opens up in the fall for you to get gemstones (which sell for a lot, money being a premium,) and the only way to get iron and copper for tool upgrades and bricks. This will be our focus.

There is another way to get some gemstones - the first merchant sells crystals from the start of the game, and an antique vendor in town sells yellow pearls. I play in Seedling Mode, where things cost slightly less, just for ease of play. Due to a quirk of this, crystals and yellow pearls will sell for more than it costs you to buy them. If you can afford one, you can absolutely buy the crystals and then sell them back to the same merchant for 200 G in profits. I think one of the reasons I like the early game so much is that I enjoy this specific optimization.

You need 5 bricks to unlock the Seed Maker (an extremely useful farm building for obvious reasons, allowing you to keep improving your crops and not have to buy more,) 15 for your second house upgrade (not strictly necessary to get right away, but nice, because your first one has very little space,) and iron for both tool upgrades and a building called the Sewing Studio.

The Sewing Studio is at least as important as the Seed Maker, because it is the most BROKEN MECHANIC IN THE GAME. While clothes and accessories will take a day to produce from the already-processed cloth, and we do like dressing up pretty, that’s not our first priority.

Our first priority is linen. The early game strategy tends to go like this:

1) Unlock flax seeds from the starter merchant. This requires shipping 150,000 G worth of goods to her, but that’s not actually that difficult - between gemstones acquired from diving, selling her own items back to her, and anything else I have worth selling, I usually have that total racked up by mid-late Spring.

2) Unlock and build the Seed Maker and Sewing Studio. For me, this usually requires save-scumming for bricks.

A LOT of bricks, in particular. Iron isn’t as bad, because even with tool upgrades as well you don’t need as many as the 20 bricks. I will save-scum for over an hour to get the right items from diving, especially because bricks are ONLY found in one of the three river areas. (I’m pretty sure the odds for certain items are higher in certain spots in said river areas, but you’d have to datamine to know for sure. I’m not up for that. Yet.) The Sewing Studio also requires 5 wool, requiring sheep that only unlock in summer... So buy five, sheer them and sell a few back. You want the Sewing Studio as quickly as possible.

3) Flax takes eight days to grow and is unlockable as early as Spring, making it a very efficient crop for our purposes. (In Fall you will unlock cotton, which sells for slightly more but takes two more days to grow and will be behind on quality by this point.) Grow it, fertilize it, and make sure to plant at least 3-4 seeds in a go.

4) Obviously you want to turn some of it back into higher quality seeds. Everything else, though? Sewing Studio.

5) Flax, unprocessed, ships in the game for 65 G by default, 462 at highest quality. You can also increase its selling price by improving your rank with it, by entering and winning the seasonal farming contests with flax. But you will not be shipping the flax.

6) It ships for much higher when processed in the Seeing Studio and dyed colors. There are several steps, each selling for progressively more - undyed thread, then dyed thread, then dyed cloth. You don’t need any other item to dye thread a specific color in this game. (This was so busted, that specific point was nerfed in Trio of Towns for dye to require flowers or, at higher qualities, gemstones along with the fiber. I don’t blame them. They also optimized out the intermediate steps for all the Makers. And then PoOT gave us coal to refined coal.)

7) One of the available colors is gold. Gold cloth, understandably, sells very well. Golden linen cloth starts selling at 3,000 G, and increases to 7,000 G depending on quality. If you’ve won a competition and improved your rank in a crop contest (or animals, or fashion, or cooking,) all your processed items from that category get the same increase in shipping price. Dyeing gold thread takes seven hours per item in a stack, but you can have multiple stacks of 30 at once. And you probably will, because you will be planting A LOT of flax. Few items sell for as much for relatively little effort, and flax is available year-round. There’s also relatively few items that use linen thread or cloth, so you don’t have to worry that resource is better spent elsewhere like crops or animal products.

8) Profit.

That point about competition ranks is another reason why it’s flax over cotton for this strategy. You get it sooner, meaning you also have more time to win festivals with it and the higher shipping price will have evened out by the time you’ve unlocked cotton. Once you start dedicating serious planting space to growing flax (and the public field for planting tall crops like flax opens up fairly early, giving you a nice dedicated space where it grows slightly faster still,) you will pretty much just always be cycling stacks  of linen thread and cloth until it’s ready to ship. Money becomes irrelevant at this point. If you haven’t hit Fall 1 yet, you’re still managing time and inventory around the merchants, but you’re clear with money. You will win any field conquest built around shipping profits provided it counts your processed goods.

This means you can focus your energy on things like increasing your animals’ output and the ridiculously elaborate requirements to unlock Tropical Country. Except for shipping processed goods. You have THAT one neatly covered! (My second priority after maxing out Flax’s rank is usually chili peppers so that Silk Country’s spice will consistently sell for more than it costs to buy.)

I am an economical menace to Oak Tree Town, usually still dripping wet from all those dives in the river, and it is FUN.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #043

“we fire back, with notes instead of guns”

Do you have a younger sister? I do. Are any of your friends virgins? I very much doubt that. Most of my (old) friends have kids. Think back to your last relationship. Was it worth it? Yes. She's the only woman I've dated, so our relationship was verification that I really even like-liked women, but there's way deeper stuff to it than that. We met in person a few times because we were dating, and that was always a good experience. I don't care where we stand now, good memories are good memores. Who last stared at you? Probably my youngest niece. It's funny, all three of Ashley's kids have had a tendency to stare at me as babies, we're all pretty sure because of my lip ring obviously seeming strange to them. Emerson is the one child I've ever really held more than once too, and she does like to grab at it, so there's that for evidence. Has anyone seen you in your underwear, other than Mom? Yeah. What made you mad last? I didn't get MAD, but some political talk between my mom and sister's mother-in-law at Ryder's bday party annoyed me. Did y'all know Obama caused racism? What are you listening to right now? "Hayloft II" by Mother Mother. Do you think your s/o (or crush) would be a good parent? Oh, he'd be a wonderful dad, I think. The only thing about parenthood that I could imagine really getting to him is never being able to like, turn it off, if that makes sense? Like he could never just be like "I need a break" and NOT have a kid anymore. God fuckin' knows he'd try to the marrow of his bones, though. He doesn't want kids though and I'm pretty sure I don't either, so we're never gonna find out. I'd rather us not than do and fuck a kid up, though, anyway. What kind of digital camera brand do you have? Canon. Are you bipolar? I'm supposedly bipolar, yes. It's been a part of my mental health diagnosis since middle school, BUT the exact title is now being questioned because of JUST how many diagnoses I've received; it's factually unlikely I have every single one I've been told I have since the 6th grade. There's just SO many, and a lot of symptoms overlap and all, so. I'm still quite confident bipolarity is accurate, though. How many times have you been to the ER? Oh god, too many to count. Most visits ended me in the psych hospital, but I think there have been at least two other instances where I only stayed the night due to a depression flare-up and was discharged the next day. I've also been to the ER for when I fainted and got a concussion, as well as to get an infected cyst drained. Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No. Who do you make fun of the most? I don't really do that, if I'm honest. As someone with an insane dysphoria of rejection/judgment, I think it's like, trained into my bones to not even joke about stuff like this. If I do, I've got to be VERY close to this person, and I'm gonna make it very clear I'm kidding, but I'd prefer to just not joke with someone like this. Has anyone you dated ever sang to you? Two have. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced? I've had a vertical labret piercing for like... half of my life lmao. Who did you last see in person? My mom. If you had to be an animal for Halloween, what would it be? Hm... I can't say I'm sure. Maybe a black cat? Are you obsessed with any superheroes? Nah. You want your next pet to be what? Probably a western hognose morph. What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? Two instances come to mind: one, a large rat chopped in half, and two, the intestines of a dead fox being pulled out into the grass. I THINK I considered the first as more gross though because the roadkilled fox was in fine shape otherwise, and if I remember correctly, the abdominal wound wasn't that dramatic. I also touched/carried the rat, while I had no contact with the fox. Who was the first person you told about your first kiss? I have no idea, actually. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I was. Are you afraid of heights? Yep. Y'all seen that ad for that horror movie with some people stuck clinging to a tall tower or some shit? No fucking thank you lmfao. Who is the person you dislike the most? Probably Colleen. She is just through and through a mean, rude, selfish person. It's embarrassing to say I ever called her my best friend. Would you ever go back to your most recent ex? No. Not even if we were still on good terms. After REALLY experiencing what falling in love again is like with Girt, it became very clear to me that I was never in love with her, and I wouldn't go back to whatever we had going on. I loved her, yes, but it wasn't the same as what I'd felt for Jason and now Girt. Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? Nope. Have you ever wanted to be homeschooled? If so, why? If not, why not? Do you know anyone who is, or have you ever been homeschooled yourself? I went through a period of wanting to be homeschooled and eventually was homebound at the end of middle school. Going to actual school was causing me a lot of stress and depression. I was gonna be homeschooled going into high school, but I changed my mind. Being homebound was very lonely, and I didn't want to feed my depression by isolating myself. Do you have any gay friends? Yep. Do you like the beach? Just swimming in the ocean, that's it. I hate the feeling of sand and the salty breeze, I hate the heat, and I hate how many people there are. Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler. I love them. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Zoo. Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yeah. Do you know anyone who hates shopping? I absolutely disdain grocery shopping, I'll tell you that much. I don't like shopping for clothes, either, if it means I have to try them on. I only really like shopping for something I really think is fun. If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? I would VERY much care. I'm not dating someone who fucks with drugs, I couldn't handle it. If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? No. No sum of money is worth torturing a life like that. Who was the last person that you pinky promised with? Girt. What is one topic that, as soon as you start talking about, you get extremely worked up over? Religion and hwo fucking shitty it is. What are you most against out of the following: the current president/prime minister in your country, the use of drugs & alcohol, capital punishment, owning/using guns or discrimination of any kind (racism, ageism, sexism, etc.)? Why are you against this? Discrimination, I think. It just seems like SUCH a basic thing to be against, like it's SO fucking obvious, and yet people still act on it. Which of the following do you hate going to the most: the dentist, the doctor or the eye doctor? Why do you feel this way? The doctor. It's just SO much waiting, in my experience, for usually nothing major at all. Would you rather have a job working in an asylum, a prison, or a hospital? How come? NONE. Absolutely none of those. I legit can't pick a "best" fit for me out of those. What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie. YOU’RE PREGNANT! Which friend are you going to tell first? If you're excluding my partner as a "friend," the only two friends I think I would tell at all would be Mazzy and Tez because I'd be getting an abortion and don't want to share that with almost anybody. Which one of your friends have you known the longest? Of my "real" and "active" friends, Mazzy. Are any of your really close friends related to you? Well, I can't say we're REALLY close anymore, but my once-best friend Summer is related to me by marriage, so we usually see each other at family gatherings and stuff. She's still certainly my friend, we just don't talk regularly anymore. I want to, though. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? I used to take baths/showers with my younger sister when we were little kids. Has anybody ever called you beautiful? Yeah. Girt makes pointing it out a habit, it seems like, and I can't express what it means to me. I don't see myself as even remotely pretty, never mind "beautiful." Are you getting engaged anytime soon? I doubt that. Haha, Girt recently told me his mom is already talking about "when you and Brittany get married" and he was like...... woman slow down. I cannooooot imagine him proposing to me this early. He thinks things through too deeply for that. Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you? I'm more uncomfortable than awkward in this situation, really. I don't trust people for shit so if you act like you know me and I have zero memory of you, I'm immediately nervous as to what you know and what your intentions are. [TMI] Do you ever feel guilty after you masturbate? That's actually not something I do. I don't have a problem with other people doing it whatsoever, I just don't get anything out of it myself. What is the most you have ever weighed? I'm not comfortable sharing. Does your boyfriend or girlfriend get mad/jealous when you talk about the opposite sex? No, because he's a fucking grown man. On the contrary, he's invited me to talk about my ex that's associated with my PTSD when I've had episodes relating to him. What was the last R-rated movie you watched? I didn't finish it, but I started The Black Phone. Your significant other leaves you for their ex, you do what? Well the only ex of his I know about literally cheated on him, so... I'd be VERY confused. I'd obviously be heartbroken, but if that's who he's going back to, I'd be worried about him. She hurt him badly. Who was the last person you broke up with? Girt, the first time we tried dating. Have you ever been a part of a threesome? No, I'm not into that. Who was the last person to ask you out? Girt, also the first time we tried dating. Has a boyfriend’s brother ever hit on you? No. Do you have a nice butt? No, I have a total pancake ass and I hate it, sobs. Do you believe unicorns ever really existed? No. If the last person that you kissed said they wanted to marry you, what would you say? He's implied that already for one day, but him directly saying that would make me no less than sob lmao. What do you want to name your first child? Alessandra Rose for a girl or Damien Vance for a boy. Have you ever met someone with that name? No. What are you best at on Rock Band: guitar, drums, or singing? I've only ever really done guitar, which I was honestly great at. What is your boyfriend’s favorite video game? Nier. Are you wearing a thong right now? No, those are so uncomfortable to me. Have you ever had shower sex? No, and I don't want to. It sounds so cramped and uncomfortable. I want to get in the shower, get clean, and get the hell out, don't touch me. Can you count on one hand how many people you've made out with? Yes. Have you ever had a sexually gay experience? Yes. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? I, uh, wonder now and again if I'll kill myself at some point because it's just... so, so hard for me to picture myself reaching an old age. It's just not something that seems realistic in my head. Do you know who your father is? Yes. Have you ever had an emergency surgery? No.