#(not carol because they broke up right before graduation)

[heavencasteel420]

Does anyone have floating ideas that just kind of attach (and sometimes detach/reattach) to different WIPs?

[barbiewritesstuff]

Hiiiii,

I wanted to ask if you could write a fic with Hangman, where reader is Mavericks daughter and befriended with rooster (she lives with maverick)

But they had a fight at Hard deck about I don’t know…

Soo they left and reader was hurt, alone and went to the beach + she didn’t know how to go back because Rooster was driving her

But then Jack (Hangman) came and comforts her + takes her to his home because trader doesn’t want to be by her father.

So they both become friends. Hangman is very protective now and tries to protect her from everything, even her father and Rooster

Protector

-- Tw for the w-slur but otherwise kind of fluffy :) --

Maverick knew he wasn't acing this 'being a father' thing, he was in way over his head. It didn't help that he'd only learnt about you when you were fifteen, after your mother's death. CPS had called saying that he was the father and you had no other living relatives.

He loved you with all his heart the second he had learnt about you, but he was finding it difficult to deal with how different you actually were. You were quiet and gentle, you liked reading and staying in. After a party or a social gather, you needed hours to cool down when he was ready to go again.

Maverick thanked the lord for planes. 

When you first came to live with him you barely spoke. You had just lost your mother and were juggling a lot: new parent, new school, no friends. He could hear you crying in your room at night and it broke his damn heart to know there was nothing he could do about it, your therapist having recommended him to give you space.

And then, he'd bought the F-14 and it was like you fell in love. Suddenly, you struck up conversations with him about the plane, you helped fix it and tried to learn about it. You bonded.

But the biggest thing for your relationship had been Carol Bradshaw and Rooster. They came to visit every once in a while and she made a point to take you out for a while every time. You told her everything, and she listened, remembering to speak to Mav about certain things. Rooster took a while to warm up to you, but eventually he did and the rest was history.

You became inseparable pretty much until you went off to college and he signed up for the navy. Contact was sporadic after that, but he was there for all the big events like your graduation, birthdays, christmases and the annual Bradshaw-Mitchell Halloween Slasher Film Marathon. And he made sure to call every other day to talk.

Despite the lack of contact, you were still best friends. That's what he introduced you to his team as at the Hard Deck. You had come with Maverick but he'd pretty much forgotten you for Penny, and Rooster was determined to make you have a good time. What he didn't expect was that you'd get along with Hangman. 

You two had small talked for a few awkward seconds and then landed on a subject you both liked and chatted the night away. Rooster had felt something swell up in his chest he didn't know how to deal with.

He felt possessive and jealous in a way that was reserved specially for you. You were his little sister, his mum's long dreamed of daughter. 

Hangman said something and you laughed, throwing you head back, left hand over right breast. Rooster knew that whatever Jake had said couldn't possibly be that funny. He grabbed you by the arm and dragged you outside.

"What. The. Fuck. Are you doing?" He asked through gritted teeth

"I don't know, I'm just talking to Jake --"

"Jake?!" He spat out "Jesus, Y/n. He's trying to fuck you, he's not nice. He wants to fuck you and he'll leave. That's what he does."

"Brad --" you tried to say

"Wouldn't have pegged you for a fucking whore."

He regretted it as soon as he said it. Still, your face fell and you turned around, walking away from him. Rooster tried to grab your arm but you yanked it away before he could get a good grip.

"Don't fucking touch me" your voice was calm and cool. You had said it the same authoritative way signs told people to beware of high voltage fences. It was a warning and a threat, not a suggestion. Rooster stood for a moment, your eyes boring wholes in his skull before he couldn't take the heat and went back inside. 

You turned on your heels and walked off in a direction. 

You weren't sure where you were or how long you had walked and the beach was dark. You might even have been turned around a few times, too caught up in your thoughts to notice. Your knees suddenly hit the cold sand, cutting themselves on a seashell. 

The beach was empty and silent. It was calming. You stayed there for a long time just watching waves crash against the shore. 

Before meeting Maverick you had never been to the beach, Mum had never been a big fan of people and going where people would flock seemed like her idea of hell. So, you had stayed on the ranch for fifteen years, only going out for school and extra-curriculars. Horses and farm work was alright by you, but when you had first set foot on warm golden sand, you had never wanted to leave again. And the sea was wonderful too. So big and blue, dark and dangerous and so bloody appealing. 

The rhythm of the waves almost made you fall asleep. Your gentle drifting up was only disturbed by someone sitting next to you. 

It was Bradley, you could smell his after-shave. He was going to apologise and say he never meant those words and please please Y/n forgive me? And you would have to say yes because even in the darkness you'd feel the big brown puppy eyes. How could you refuse your big brother?

Except, when he spoke, Bradley sounded a lot like Hangman.

"He's an idiot but he means well. And that's coming from someone who can't stand him on a good day."

You stayed silent, he seemed comfortable with it and handed you his beer. You took a sip.

"Why are you here?"

"Rooster asked" he lied but you knew. You sniffled "No. He's worried though, trying to figure out how to tell Maverick he's lost his daughter."

"Okay. But why are you here?"

Hangman smiled into the darkness, "I saw you walk off and you didn't come back. I got worried, thought you might have gotten lost or walked into the ocean" 

They stayed silent once more. The air progressively grew cooler and you let out a shiver. 

"We should go back" 

"I'm okay, I don't really want to see anyone."

"Do you want to me to drive you home?"

"I don't have a key"

"I have a spare bed. I mean, it's terrible and uncomfortable but if you want to avoid them it's a lot safer than sleeping on a beach. Plus, you get breakfast out of it." He added with a smile

"Go on, then. But only because I don't want sand in my hair"

"There is one condition though" Hangman said. Your heart dropped, thinking you knew what he was going to ask. "You give me permission to tell Rooster and Maverick where you are." 

You chuckled, relieved he hadn't asked you for sex. 

"I'll be honest, I'm going to text them either way and regardless of what you chose, I just think having your permission is better."

You nodded, forgetting momentarily that he couldn't see you, but he seemed to understand. He took out his phone and quickly wrote a text before lifting himself up and you with him. 

Hangman cursed himself for not tidying up his truck. The back seat was occupied by his gym bag and shoes and he'd left snicker bar wrapers at the foot of the passenger seat. He was glad you didn't notice. In fact, you fell asleep almost as soon as he turned the key. He drove slowly to stretch out the journey, but there wasn't much he could do to make his eight minute drive much longer.

He carried you out of the car and into his rental, opening the front door beforehand. You hadn't budged when he had lifted you out of your seat except to move your arms around his neck. 

He hadn't lied about how uncomfortable his spare bed was which is why he dropped you off in his own bed. After removing your shoes and socks and getting your phone to charge on his charger. 

You almost woke up when someone rung the doorbell and he had to jump down the stairs and run to the door just to get them to stop ringing the damn thing. 

Maverick had never shouted like that at Rooster before. Or at anyone really. And he was really feeling guilty about it, especially since it hadn't been entirely Rooster's fault. If he'd been an better dad and actually spent time with you, none of this would have happened. 

Rooster had kept his finger firmly pressed on the doorbell until Hangman had yanked it open such force that they had all been surprised it hadn't flown off of its hinges.

"Leave. Both of you." 

"Where is she?"

"She is sleeping. You two have done enough hurt for today, come back in the morning to apologise. Let her sleep and she might forgive you" He had managed through gritted teeth before closing the door on them. Hangman was afraid for a moment that they'd ring again but he heard them argue and then shuffle away.

He didn't know why but if neither of those men were willing to protect you, he was willing to do the job.

Before settling in himself, he checked up on you one last time and then fell asleep on his sofa.

[hobbit-historian]

Rooster x reader

I participated in the lovely @laracrofted ‘s writing challenge based on songs from 1989 Taylor’s version.

This is “All You Had to Do Was Stay”

Warnings: HEAVY on the angst. Mentions of broken hearts and a brutal accident at the end of I don’t go into specifics though.

Rooster.

That man, that name, infuriated her. She couldn’t believe that he was there, standing on that stage, getting that patch, wearing a smile on his face.

The days ago, that same face had been snarling as he yelled at her, again, for her flying techniques. She was reckless, he said. Dangerous, he said.

She had rolled her eyes and scoffed, telling him that she would be standing up there getting the patch right next to him because she flew better.

She thought faster.

Moved faster.

Now, here she was, watching in the crowd as he got a patch and not her.

She blinked back the tears, refusing to let anyone see just how much that hurt. She sat in her dress whites, replaying the whole of her Top Gun experience, trying to figure out where things went wrong, where she failed.

Because he was up there, and she was sitting in a chair in the audience.

The memories slapped her in the face - when she found out that she had qualified for the program, when she had her first lesson, when she got into it for the first time with Rooster, and when the instructor had come to talk to her to tell her that she had been disqualified for her behavior.

Rooster had the never to act surprised that she wasn’t going to be graduating with the rest of them.

He had muttered under his breath, a smug smile on his face.

So she sat, throat burning, as she watched him get handed the patch.

That stupid, stupid patch. And what she wouldn’t do to be right up there next to him.

Something in her heart cracked.

She stood abruptly, neck heating at the stares coming from the crowd around her.

She hurried, steps quickening as the tears burned her eyes. Loading into her car, she sped away from the ceremony, not caring that she was crying on her dress whites.

*******************************************************

Rooster watched her leave.

His mind immediately shot back to the night before, when she wouldn’t even look at him and couldn’t stand the sound of his name.

He cursed himself and his stupidity.

He had been so blinded by his history, so taken aback by her reckless flying, that he had missed the one thing that had mattered most. He loved her.

But all he could do was yell at her when she risked her life, berate her for acting out of turn, and keep her at an arms length.

He was absolutely terrified of his heart.

But watching her walk away, burning with embarrassment from not being up on stage with the rest of the graduates, it broke that already fragile heart.

Shattered into so many pieces that Rooster was afraid he may never fix it.

And like a fool, he had been smiling - smiling - when she had been told she couldn’t graduate.

Truthfully, they had been arguing so much during the program that most people called them rivals. Some elevated that to enemies. No one thought twice about the smile.

They would’ve if they had heard what he had said under his breath.

“She should be, she’s the best pilot out of all of us.”

So as he watched her walk away, he yearned to cry out, to run down and catch her before she left, to let her know how he really felt. But the patch was in his hand and he had already been told that he needed to report to his CO after the ceremony to get his next orders.

So he stayed.

Right where he was.

He remembered the tears his mom had shed after his dad died. He remembered the stream of condolences and casseroles that everyone seemed to have on hand. How Carole had wanted him to follow his dreams, but my God, anything but flying. Anything at all.

So he stayed.

No need to wrap someone up in his less-than-lucky life. No need to get his heart involved.

But as Rooster watched her completely fade from view, he knew - his heart was already involved.

*******************************************************

She was crying so hard that she could barely see the road. She saw the stop sign, but the tractor trailer didn’t. It plowed right into her.

Later, the trucker would say that he wasn’t drunk, and that he would pay all of the hospital bills, pay off all of the surgeries needed to correct her broken body.

But the doctors said that she would never fly again, and that was all that mattered.

She should have stayed.

[2ndstar-ontheright]

"More Than a Friend"

This is from a few months ago, but since it's become much larger on here, I'd figure I'd post something I wrote for them! I'm a GooseCaroleMav truther you guys, I'm sorry. (Just a PSA this isn't condoning military stuff or anything like that, I just like these guys. A lot. :D)

Here on Ao3: "More Than a Friend"

Pete always knew he never belonged. Unwanted. Even as a kid, he could tell that he wasn’t exactly planned , nor his parents' first priority. His mother was always trying to make herself busy with his dad’s absence, so he learned to just stay out from underfoot. It was easier that way. He saw the tears she tried to hide every time her husband went back from leave and it was gut wrenching to know that there wasn’t really anything he could do. He couldn’t be the “man” of the house because by the time he could, he never got the chance. It was all fine for the majority of his childhood, but once his dad died, everything fell apart, and the feeling set in even more. His mother fell ill soon after, leaving him an orphan. Typical. The child of a military family left with no parents by the age of 18. How wonderfully and pitifully tragic. 

They wouldn’t be the only scars he’d ever have, nor the deepest, yet for so much of his life, they were the only ones that people noticed. Not the ones on his chest or the ones on his heart, just that he had no family. No family left that would care anyway. 

Only, a high school friend that he thought he’d never see again covered them up real well. 

******************

A young blond whose wit was as sharp as a double-edged sword, Carole Abbott wasn’t stupid. She was one of the few reasons Pete even graduated high school, but what he didn’t expect to find out about her was that she saw him as more than just a classmate. He was her friend. She’d seen him around their school many times before, only this time he looked much more…sad. The bags under his eyes more prominent than usual. Shrugging it off, she took it as her sign and went up to him. Soon enough, periods would turn into days and would turn into weeks spent huddled together on her roof, shaking their heads at the insanity that was life. 

Being able to relate to way more than they thought they would, in more ways than one, he considered her his best friend. They became inseparable, much to the dismay and confusion of her parents. Despite it being maybe the 300th time her dad gave him the “If you hurt my daughter…” speech and her mom asking if they’ve gone out yet, they still laughed about it until the day they left. 

She had been his rock and when he broke the news that he was going into the navy, he didn’t expect her to react so nonchalantly. 

“It’s your life, Pete.” Carole nodded her head towards him, taking a sip of the beer she snuck from downstairs. “It’s not my place, nor do I want to tell you how to live it. That’s up for you to decide.” 

Pete looked at her, trying to hide the worry in his face. To his dismay, his chest was rushing and rising with panic. Was this really a good idea? Why wasn’t she saying anything? She never liked the navy, especially after knowing about his father. “I know that, but…what if it doesn’t work out? I’ve got nothing to come home to if I don’t make it, my job’s barely making it as it is.” He explained, and with a sigh, he lowered his head. “What if I die? I mean, I know that comes with it, I just..couldn’t live with myself to not at least say goodbye to you. Or have someone do that for me, I guess.” 

Carole tilted her head and scooched closer to him, urging him to look up at her with her hand. “And what if you live? Have you ever thought of that?” 

The boy shook his head. “No, I guess I didn’t.” 

“Well then, that answers that question, now doesn’t it?” Carole chuckled and bit the inside of her cheek, looking off into the distance for a moment before turning back. “You leave for school tomorrow morning, right?” She asked, earning her a nod in response. She leaned in closer and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “Listen, I can’t promise you anything, but I do know this. You’re determined. When it’s something you’re passionate about, you put your whole heart into it, and that’s such an admirable thing. You’re gonna do well, Pete. You just gotta try and there’s really nothing more you can do than that.”

Pete let his head rest on her arm and let her words swarm around him like the warm glow of a firefly. “Yeah…” She was right. Like she was with most things. He knew she could tell that there was more he wanted to say that went unspoken. That he was afraid of leaving her. Of being alone and so many other things. Now though, all he could do was sigh and brace himself for the morning ahead. “Thanks Carole….for, y’know. Everything.” 

“Of course, Petey. You’re my best friend, now wake up before you start drooling on me.” She laughed, gently nudging him and climbing back through her bedroom window with him behind her. 

What he didn’t know was that night and that morning after she dropped him off at the airport, Carole Abbott broke at the realization that she might lose the best friend she ever had. 

*****************

What he hadn’t expected to see nearly 3 years later was a blond head leaning against a restored 55’ Chevrolet outside of the Naval Academy. He thought nothing of it until her sunglasses tilted as she looked in his direction, her face breaking into a smile. He knew that could only mean one person and he can’t stop himself from staring like an idiot. She rushes up and before he can say anything, she’s lifting him off the ground in a bone-crushing hug. “Damn, has she gotten strong…” 

“Well, it’s about time you came to see me! I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me.” Pete teased, poking her on the shoulder. 

“Pfft, yeah right. Because that’s definitely something normal people do.” Carole rolled her eyes. “You miss me yet, Mitchell? Because I sure as hell missed you,”

Pete scoffed, shaking his head. Who was she kidding? Of course he did. “Yeah, maybe, just a little bit.” 

“Oh you! ” She punched him lightly in the arm, pretending to be offended. And before he knew it, he was following her to her car like a puppy to its owner, knowing that the years that passed meant nothing to either of them. Nothing at all. 

He’d missed this. By god had he missed this. 

******************

Little would he know that a smooth talking, tail covering, tall as a tree, sweetheart would saunter into his life not long after that. 

Days that faded into weeks which turned into months went by. Training wasn’t exactly a walk in the park and the small inkling of being able to fly in his aviation classes were the only thing keeping him going most days. School was once again made much more bearable by having the one constant in his life back, but that wasn’t as often as he thought. He was pretty much a baby when it came to making and meeting other people. If he wasn’t doing something stupid to warrant it anyway. 

So, it came as no surprise when one night, something changed. Pete, alongside some of the other recruits, was coming back from being stationed on night guard. The previous night had been a rather unpleasant one, but he was relieved it was over. He trudged back to his room absentmindedly, the hours of staying awake for almost 2 days getting to him. Distantly, he heard the sound of footsteps from afar, not really paying attention to it. They were probably just going to their room too. He figured. When they didn’t stop though, he had the feeling he was being followed. Had he known better he would’ve been more than just confused, though it wasn’t out of the ordinary. 

After a while, he turned around and noticed a tall, bulky figure eyeing him, almost in a drunken haze. 

“Hey…” He mumbled out, leaning against the wall for support. He clearly looked wasted, or high, the other couldn’t tell.

“Hey,” Pete replied raising his eyebrow, unsure of what this was leading to. 

“I’ve heard about you.” The guy began. “You know what they say about guys like you, right? All alone, no friends, only talks to girls.” He laughed when he saw the confused look on Pete’s face. “Yeah, don’t think I haven’t seen you with that pretty little thing. It’s pretty obvious you ain’t with her like that, so tell me.” He took a step closer, leaning fully to the wall so that he was face to face with the shorter man. 

“What’s a little fag like you thinking he can be here ?” 

Pete really had to be delirious, because this couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. He blinked slowly and stared dumbfounded at the man. “I… what ?”

“You heard me.” He nodded, almost like he was accusing him of something. “You don’t gotta lie to me, Mitchell. I mean, it’s definitely a surprise.” He shrugged. “The great ‘Duke Mitchell’s’ kid being all weird like that. No one would suspect it, except for me. And I’m not no one, am I?”

Pete narrowed his eyebrows and moved to turn around. He wasn’t going to dignify that with a response, not if he could help it. However, the other seemed to have a different idea, and a meaty hand spun him around. 

“You didn’t answer my question…” The man stepped closer, his big, sneering face staring Pete down like he was his prey. At least in his mind that’s what he was. His big hands moved and grabbed his hips.

“The fuck-?” Pete yelped out at the sudden impact. If the alarm bells hadn’t gone off before, they definitely were now as he felt himself being manhandled. The whole interaction was weird as hell, but the grabbing? Really? It’s no wonder this guy both didn’t like him and seemed like the type to get written up every other day. Pete scrambled to escape him and when his kicking at the other didn’t work, he dug his nails into his wrist and bit down on the hand that firmly clawed into his shirt. 

“Shit!” The other man cried out. Wincing at the pain, he waved his hand before moving closer to Pete when he heard the sound of a door opening. That didn’t stop him though, what did however, was Pete punching him in the nose. He didn’t expect such a small thing to fight back like that, yet his cries of pain said otherwise. 

Pete stared at him as the man staggered backward in pain. All of this and he didn’t even know him? Ridiculous. The fear in his stomach turned into worry when he felt a pair of eyes watching him. If he wasn’t before, he was certainly in trouble now.

“Shit...” A voice breathed out as he watched the two men. Coming out of the room and into view, a man about his age looked at Pete incredulously. “You okay?” He asked.

Pete stared back like a deer caught in someone’s headlights. Overcome with shock and his sudden rush of adrenaline, he shook his head. “I-I don’t-He tried to- fuck. I’m sorry, I-” He stammered.

The guy stepped forward and moved in front of Pete, ignoring the groaning body on the ground. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re not in trouble, just…tell me what happened.” 

Swallowing, Pete gave him an explanation, gesturing to the man behind them. “I was coming down here when he came up behind me all of a sudden and…called me a…” Pete struggled to put into words in a way that made sense. “He tried to…”

The other guy’s expression turned from one of confusion, to one of disgust. “Of course, he did.” he spat out. “I’m sorry man.” He gave the other an apologetic look. From the way he was standing, on edge like he was going to be punished at any second, was worrying. Trying to lighten the mood, he nodded. “But you fought back! Not a lot of people have the courage to do that, y’know.”

“That’s pretty impressive though, kid.” He added, genuinely admiring Pete’s strength. Hell, if he’d been his position, he wasn’t sure how he’d react himself. “The name’s Nick, by the way.” 

“Pete..” He responded, not even noticing his lips move. Why was this random guy giving him this much grace? Being this kind? He didn’t fully understand, especially considering it being the middle of the night, yet appreciated it nonetheless. 

“Well, Pete, can I ask you a question?” Nick inquired, earning him a slow nod. “How come I’ve never seen you around before?” An amused smile played on his lips when he saw Pete’s expression change from one of panic, to a tough kinda smile back. 

*************

Promises made to hang out after the night turned into spending almost any time they were both free together. They were practically attached at the hip and to think that it all started over some idiot making a pass at him, was equal parts heartwarming, and hilarious. 

Nick liked Pete. A lot. Occasionally, more than he thought he’d ever liked anyone. The way he hid his smile when he was about to laugh, the way he really didn’t take anything from anyone, the way he kept so much of himself hidden but would reveal just the smallest amounts to Nick, leaving him desperate for more. To know more. To know Pete. He knew he struck a chord with him because once they became friends, there was just no getting over or getting rid of Pete Mitchell.

He was kind of like a brother in a way. Nick was older, taller, and generally had more experience than he did, and it made him proud in some way. To get to see him as more than just a friend, but family as well. He wouldn’t always let it happen, although, in the few moments he would, Nick reveled in it. 

***************

“Nick….?”

The man in question shifted in his sleep at the whisper of his name. Stirring, his eyes blinked slowly open. “Yeah…?” He asked, huskily. 

Pete shifted his eyes up to the ceiling and down to the floor. Not quite sure how to ask this. He sighed and went for it. “The worst he can say is no..” “I- I can’t sleep…”

The other nodded drowsily from being woken up. “Ohh..okay…” He understood, kind of. Hoping this wouldn’t take much longer, he asked. “You have a nightmare or somethin’?” 

“Yeah. Sorry for waking you up man, it’s stupid. I know.”

“Nah it’s not stupid.” Nick shrugged it off and shifted away in the bed, gesturing for him to come over. “You wanna sleep with me?” 

Pete thought about it for a second and nodded. 

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Well come on then, I haven’t got all night.” Feeling the other slip in next to him, he yawned and before falling back asleep, smiled fondly at Pete. “Good night, honey .” 

“Good night, dear .” Pete teased back, smirking at the other shaking his head at his response. 

*******************

Not long after they met did Pete introduce Nick to Carole. It was a November evening, the cold air whipping at the pair's faces as he led him up to their apartment. Or well, hers technically, since he was hardly there most of the time. Pulling his keys out of his pocket, he turned to Nick excitedly. “She’s awesome. You’re gonna love her, I just know it.” 

“Oh, Pete, you know the ladies love me. So, I have no doubts about that.” 

“Save it for your pillow, Bradshaw.”

“I swear, I cannot make any promises.” He put his hand over his heart and let Pete practically drag him into the apartment. 

Carole came in from her room at the sound and was nearly bowled over by her best friend’s excitement. Pete wasn’t typically one for bringing anyone over for that matter, let alone a guy. Hell, she was surprised he was so willing to introduce someone he hadn’t even known that long to her knowledge. She was happy for him regardless though and knew that the dark-haired boy wasn’t letting go of this person anytime soon. 

“Carole, this is Nick! Nick, this is my friend Carole!” Pete chirped excitedly, introducing the group to each other. 

“Hi Nick, I’ve heard quite a lot about you. It’s lovely to finally meet you in person.” She greeted, holding her hand out. Nick, an almost laughably taller man than Pete, had taken her outstretched hand and drew out a kind greeting back. His smile sent a sudden wave of butterflies through her stomach and Carole had to admit, she wasn’t expecting someone like that . 

“You were right Pete,” Nick began glancing over at him and looking back at Carole. Smiling as his eyes met hers. “She does sound awesome.” 

******************

He never suspected he'd be playing “Matchmaker” for the two most important people in his life. Never in any universe. And now here he was barely a year later and reassuring the both of them that it’ll be perfectly fine. Despite both of them putting that to the test. 

“It’s just a date, man. It’s not like you’re getting married.” 

“I know! But, I want to make a good impression, y’know? I want her to actually enjoy it.” 

“Goose, you’ve known her for a year. You don’t need to make a ‘good impression’ if you didn’t, she wouldn’t even be into you! Now, quit panicking. It’s freaking me out.” He watched as he paced around the room, looking at himself in the mirror. Maverick rolled his eyes and held back the nauseating feeling that crept up his throat. 

“Now you have her home by 11:00 young man, or else I’l have your hide mounted on my wall.” Pete leaned against the door and smirked at the pair as they were about to leave. 

“Of course sir! I wouldn’t dream of being even a second late.” Nick chuckled, waving him off with a flourish. Carole giggled and let him lead her down the hallway. 

He was happy for them. They deserved each other, truly. But he couldn’t help but feel….lost. And his insides sank as he watched them go, realizing it was all going to change before he knew it.  

***********

First dates turn into 5 which turn into 10 which turn into being official “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” Mav hates himself for the fact that while he is so proud of them for making it this far, he feels so much more alone now. Which is fair. Still though, he can’t help but wonder if maybe he should just not think too much about it and date someone himself. It’s not like he hasn’t before. 

None of them lead to much of anything though. A few dates followed by a few kisses and the more than often one night stand don’t exactly take away this gnawing, empty feeling inside. Even when he tries to make a connection it’s never fully there. There’s something missing. Something deeper. Something like… shit.

  Is it jealousy? God, it better not be.

*********

Soon enough, comes the day she’d been waiting for after these past few years. The day they get married. Carole’s over the moon, yet she notices. She notices the somber smile Maverick keeps flashing at Goose everytime they see each other. When they get to the chapel, when she makes it to the altar, and he’s watching them during the night. If it were anyone else, she’d be a little more than freaked out, but this was Maverick. Her Pete. She also notices the hurt in both men’s eyes when her now-husband glances over to her best friend. A quiet understanding of something she felt like she knew, but still didn’t quite get. 

Nothing seems to change after that. Their honeymoon comes and goes and once she comes home, the tension could still be cut with a knife. He’s not himself anymore. No longer the bitey, cheerful boy she grew up with. He was a pilot now, she couldn’t expect him to stay the same forever, but she hadn’t expected that to change him this much. They were a family now, however, he was still her family too. Right? It wasn’t a childish fantasy, she knew that, to her, it was the truth. Carole Abbot-Bradshaw is not stupid. Now though, she wasn’t so sure. 

She decides to bring it up one night to Maverick who surprisingly, wasn’t in his room at the barracks. The pilot came over on his volition, which she secretly appreciated because she knew he wasn’t going to like what was coming. They’re watching some cheesy rom-com, both on opposite ends of the couch when Carole brings it up. 

“What’s up with you?” She asks. Maverick glances over at her and while he doesn’t stiffen up, she can tell he’s taken aback by her question. 

“What do you mean? I’m fine, Carole.” Maverick denies, chuckling it off. She tilts her head and stares at him with a deadpan expression. “Really! I’m serious.”

“Pete Mitchell, do you think I’m an idiot? Tell me, how long have we known each other?” She asks, waiting patiently for him to answer her. 

“Almost 9 years…” He answers slowly, estimating off the top of his head. “And no! Of course not. It’s…” He sighs and looks at her. “It was stupid…it’s nothing.”

Carole shakes her head. “It’s not nothing nor is it stupid.” She denies, moving closer to the pilot. “It’s changed you, Pete. And don’t think I haven’t noticed.” She says firmly, but concerned. Sighing, she looks into his eyes that’re averting her gaze. “You’re not yourself, I’m worried about you.” She added gently, worrying now at the way he looked more and more uncomfortable by her asking. “And if it was something I, or Nick did, you know you could tell me, right? You’re my best friend.”

Pete groans softly. There’s really no avoiding her question, not anymore anyway. He’s denied it for this long that really, there wasn’t anything else he could say to hide it. “Things get lonely sometimes. And I… miss you. Both of you. Sometimes I lie awake and when I picture myself with anyone, romantically or whatever…I see you two.” Maverick admits in a voice barely above a whisper, not sure how to phrase it without scaring or freaking her out. She knew him better than anyone, even Nick, and to know that this might ruin everything they had, was killing him. “On the day of your wedding, seeing you both up there, I knew I would never get that. What you have. For things to be the way they were, I guess, I don’t know. And I never want to come between the two of you.” The pilot sighs, staring down at the floor. “I couldn’t live with myself if I did, but now, I’m afraid I already have. I’m so sorry, Carole.” Maverick finally looks up into her eyes, preparing for whatever reaction she had.

“Oh Pete…” She whispers gently, pulling his hand into hers. “You could never come between us. Honey, it’s okay, I know. I know how much you and Nick love each other, you don’t have to be ashamed of that. Frankly, I don’t really care about those sorts of things enough to be upset about it because well, I kind of picture you as my husband too. I mean, I’ve known you for a long enough time that it’s really not a surprise.” She laughs softly, shaking her head.

“I love you, Mav. We both do. So please understand me when I tell you, you never have to be concerned about me freaking out or being upset about these sorts of things” She adds, squeezing his hand in hers. “Okay?”

Maverick doesn’t say anything, but from the look he gives her, she can tell it’s a silent “Okay.” in response. Really, she was expecting something much worse and for that to be all it was, eased the pain in her chest from the past few months. It’s clear to her that their conversation is over, and she’s perfectly fine with that. 

The two end up falling asleep together on the couch with Maverick and Carole huddled next to each other, her head in his lap and his arm resting on her back, both snoring quietly. The T.V has switched from romance to some old western movie when Goose enters the apartment and he can’t help but gush at the sight. He crouches down to curl his arms around his wife and carries her off to their bedroom. As he gently lays her on the bed, he’s about to tug the sheets up to her chin when she asks quietly. “Nick?” 

“Hey darlin’, I’m sorry for waking you up.” He whispers in response.

Her voice still raspy, she smiles tiredly. “You’re okay. But I think you should talk to Pete, not right now, but sometime. It’d be good for the both of you. He misses you.”

That caught him by surprise. “What do you mean? Did-did I do something wrong?” Goose asks, eyes widening at the idea of what he could’ve done. If he had done anything.

“No, no, baby nothing like that. Don’t worry, you’re okay.” Carole reassures, putting her hand to his wrist. She hesitates for a moment before yawning. “You know how you feel when you’re around me? And him? Well, that’s kinda how he feels around the both of us. If that makes any sense.”

Goose wasn’t sure if she was just talking crazy due to her sleepiness or not, but as he listened, what she was saying did kind of make sense. He was his pilot, his brother, and the best person he ever had besides her, to say didn’t get where he was coming from would be a lie. A huge lie, to himself. He nodded and watched as she shifted to her side. “It’s okay, just…talk to him, Goose.” She whispered before falling back asleep. A peaceful look on her face as he walked out of the room. Watching his best friend, he felt the same look of awe and care he had when they met return to his face. Walking forward, he crouched down next to him and heaved the shorter man up off the couch. “Hey honey, you okay?” The RIO can’t help but ask, knowing just how the other will respond. 

Maverick shifts at the sudden movement and smiles lazily. “I’m just fine, dear.”

“Listen, I’m sorry if I hurt you. For not understanding or getting it before. You know how much I care about you, right Mav?” He says quietly.

“S’ okay, Goose. You’re fine.” Pete whispers.

“ Pete..”

Maverick sighs and looks up at him. “I mean it, you’re okay. We’re fine, really.”

“Well if that’s so,” Goose chuckled, dropping the other on the bed. Turning off the light, he crawled in next to Maverick who had Carole sleepily scooching closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder. “Good night you guys. I love you. Both of you.” He whispered before falling asleep as well. 

“G’night Goose…” And as Pete falls asleep as well between the two people he loves most, he realizes he has what he’s always wanted. Even if they never defined it in specific terms, a family. One that knew its members inside and out. A place where he belonged. A place where he was wanted. And he wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

[doexoeyes]

Strangely Stranger Things

Summary: You & Steve Harrington? Well, stranger things have happened. Interdimensional monsters and all. (Or in which the reader is a character in Stranger Things & this how I would incorporate them in the storyline).

Paring: Steve Harrington x Fem!reader

Warnings: Swearing, violence, misogynistic comments & a particular scene where the reader's physical boundary gets crossed. Tried not to write anything too intense, but I want to make sure I have the right warnings just in case. (Also I am very much Anti-Billy, so that's a warning in itself).

Notes: This is going to be split in three parts. This first one covers the events of season 1 & 2. Hope you enjoy ♡

Part 2

Season 1

You’ve been best friends with Jonathan Byers since you met in kindergarten.

Joyce loved and cared for you just as much as she did her own sons, claiming you were the daughter she never had, and Jonathan pretty much grew up referring to you as his sister.

You were both two peas in a pod and as you both got to high school, helping each other through the bullying and ostracization from your classmates brought you even closer. It was you and Jonathan against the world.

You promised each other that you were going to leave Hawkins once you graduated; tired and frustrated over the small minded, bland people that occupied the small town.

All that taunting and shoving in the hallway meant nothing because you both had brighter futures ahead of you.

But then Will goes missing and your whole world turns upside down.

You’re supportive during the search for Will, making sure Joyce and Jonathan were taken care of, spending most nights at their home.

You’re heartbroken over Will as well, viewing him as a younger brother, but you focus on being the best support system you can be, especially for Jonathan once he becomes an even bigger target for the stupid kids at school.

Especially for Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington.

You couldn’t stand Steve. He was spoiled and popular and privileged and he always made out with girls at his locker which unfortunately was right next to yours, causing you to watch the disgustingly public displays of affection against your will every time you had to fetch something from there.

Throw in the fact that he never even bothered to acknowledge your existence and that his oversized ego has him messing with Jonathan, you now absolutely despised him.

You had no idea what Nancy saw in him.

Jonathan always demanded that you’d stay out of it, and you begrudgingly obliged, up until you found out that Steve broke his camera and got him arrested.

And that’s when all hell broke loose.

“Harrington!” you called out to him, having caught him outside the gas station parking lot, sitting on top of the trunk of his car with his lackies Tommy and Carol standing beside him.

Steve turns his attention towards you, brow raised as you approach him. You can see the bruises and dried blood crusted around his face, but this doesn’t deter you; You were going to make his face look a lot worse.

“Can I help yo-”

Before he can even finish, you land a punch straight to his face, causing Tommy and Carol to gasp.

“What the hell?!” “Oh my god!” they each say, and you try your best to keep your expression unfazed despite the searing pain in your knuckles.

You’re pretty sure you broke a bone or something, this being your first physical attack on anyone, but you were 100% convinced that Steve deserved it.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!?! What the hell is your problem?!” Steve yells at you once it hits him, both literally and figuratively, hand rubbing at his jaw as he winces.

“You keep fucking around with Jonathan, that’s my problem! I mean his camera, dude? And now his record? Have you no heart at all? He lost his brother and your torment just doesn’t stop! Tell me, do mommy and daddy not love you that much that you have to make everyone else around you as miserable as you are?” you spat, glaring at him.

Little did you know, your words hit a sore spot for Steve and he swallows down the lump in his throat, eyes avoiding yours. His shitty behavior lately is something he has become more aware of and he feels guilty for his treatment of both Jonathan and Nancy; both the camera and marquee incidents went a little too far.

Plus, the punches he got from Jonathan and now you were definitely enough to literally knock some sense into him.

“Oh, I remember you now! You’re the loser who hangs out with Boogeyman Byers,” Tommy says, a taunting smirk on his face.

“That's right! She’s always following him down the halls like a lost little puppy. Tell us, is it true that that freak killed his own brother?” Carol asks and you’re taken aback by how cruel her question is.

You turn to Steve with a look of disgust and walk away, tears in your eyes as you hear them taunting you and making gross comments about Will’s death and Jonathan.

You don’t get to hear Steve call Carol and Tommy out, telling them to shut up.

As you’re walking down the street towards the Byers' home, you feel a car slowing down behind you and turn around once your name is called.

It’s Steve Harrington.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ve been a real asshole. Please, let me give you a ride. I want to apologize to Jonathan myself. I took it way too far,” he says and it’s the sincerity in his voice that makes you pause your steps.

You get in the car and it’s awkwardly silent, only the sound of Journey’s ‘Separate Ways’ playing low from his radio.

“At least he has decent music taste,” you think as you fiddle around with your hands on your lap, surprisingly nervous.

“You got me with that one, you know,” he says, but you furrow your brows, confused.

“Mommy and daddy not giving two shits about me. You’re right, and maybe that’s why I’m such an asshole. It doesn’t excuse it, but...” and he shrugs, ending his sentence there.

Your teeth sink into your lip, guilt washing over you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to..” but you pause because you did mean to. You just didn’t think it would actually hurt Steve. You thought he lived such a cushy life with everything he ever wanted, that doting parents was something he could care less about.

“My parents aren’t really around either. They call themselves ‘free spirits’ but they’re just deadbeats who are mentally stuck in the 60’s. The hippie lifestyle is more important to them than parenting, but hey, at least they bring me cool souvenirs when they make a pit stop at the house,” you say with a snort.

Steve glances at you for a moment before facing forward towards the road again.

“So what I’m hearing is, different sides of the same coin,” he muses and you meet his eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Guess so. Funny how that works,” you say, and you’re surprised when you feel yourself smiling lightly.

His eyes linger on yours for a second too long and he seems to take notice because he clears his throat and immediately goes for the knob on the radio, turning the music up.

“Someday, love will find you Break those chains that bind you One night will remind you”

It’s when you make it to the Byers’ home that you come face to face with a Demogorgon for the first time and find out what’s actually happening with Will and the Upside down. And despite Nancy and Jonathan’s demands for you both to leave, you and Steve stay and help fight.

When it’s all over, you get word that Will is found alive and is at the hospital with Joyce.

You let out a whimper that turns into a sob and Steve is surprisingly the first one who embraces you just before the tears erupt, patting your back in reassurance as he lets you cry it all out.

It was hard for you to keep your feelings in the whole time Will was missing. You worried more for Joyce and Jonathan and didn’t want them to see you falter, despite how much you wanted to. You were their support system, you needed to be strong for them, but the fear and devastation you felt at Will’s disappearance and then his ‘death’ ate at you.

You were so beyond relief knowing that he was now alive and safe.

You all pile into Steve’s car and head to the hospital. You’re sitting next to Jonathan in the back and at some point during the ride you reach for his hand.

He grips yours tightly, like it’s a lifeline, fingers intertwining in yours. Without words, you can tell that Jonathan is trying to thank you, grateful that you stood by his side. You were best friends and always would be; it was you and him against the world.

The future looked bright once more.

You don’t notice Steve glancing up at the rear view mirror and seeing your hands clasped together, a questionable look of disappointment on his face.

Come Christmas Eve, you join Jonathan in picking Will up from the Wheeler’s house, and run into Steve there.

While Nancy goes off to talk to Jonathan, you stick by Steve and catch up.

“Kinda crazy how things can get shaken up and easily go back to normal, huh?” you say and Steve chuckles lightly.

“Yeah, one minute we’re fighting an alien that’s trying to eat us alive in the living room and the next we’re hanging up ornaments and singing around the Christmas tree,” he states.

You nod and are about to part ways until a thought pops into your head.

“Hey, umm..if you ever, like, need someone to talk to or if you feel lonely one day at home..” you pause, realizing how it’s sounding before continuing on, cheeks warm as your eyes widen slightly. “I don’t mean..I-I know you and Nancy are together, congrats by the way..I just mean since we both..um-“ you stop completely when you notice Steve smiling at you.

“Thank you, I really appreciate that,” he says, and you’re thankful that he understands.

Back in the car with Jonathan and Will, you smile when Will opens up the gift Nancy gave to Jonathan (a new camera) because you know Steve definitely had a hand in that as well.

Season 2

Surprisingly, Steve does end up reaching out to you a month later. It’s admittedly a little awkward in the beginning, you both never really hanging out before, but soon you two realize how much you actually get along and Steve becomes as close of a friend as Jonathan.

He doesn’t tell you, but he views you as the closest person he has in his life. Even more so than Nancy, admittedly.

“Different sides of the same coin,” you’d quote him every time you bond over a similar thought or experience, which was often, and he’d always smile back at you and nod.

You do the things that Steve likes to do, like chilling at his pool and listening to his favorite tapes in his car while you eat a burger and talk about life or the possibilities of unicorns (because if there’s such things as aliens, there has to be unicorns, right?)

And Steve is always down to do your favorite things, like browsing through the record shop and watching The Twilight Zone reruns together and painting.

One time Steve suggested you trade paintings because he messed his up, or something along those lines.

Truth is, he just wanted to hang your painting up in his room.

It makes him happy every time he looks at it.

“Doesn’t Nancy think it’s weird that you and Steve hangout so much?” Jonathan asks as you both wait for Will to come up from Mike’s basement, picking him up from another late D&D campaign.

“Not really. I mean, why would she? Steve and I are just friends,” you answer with a shrug.

“Friends. Right. As if you don’t have the biggest crush on him.”

You’re flustered as you look at him with furrowed brows. “I do not have a crush on Steve Harrington.”

“Mhm, sure you don’t,” he says with a roll of his eyes and you cross your arms, annoyed.

“Ok, and what about your crush on Nancy, huh? Let’s talk about that too, shall we?”

Jonathan is silent for a moment, a red tint appearing on his cheeks as he clears his throat, looking away from your victorious smirk.

He never brings it up again.

It’s almost been a whole year since Will’s disappearance and you’re at least thankful that one good thing came out of it; being a part of Steve’s life.

The person you start to feel bad for, however, is Jonathan, who’s been preoccupied with Will more than anything.

You start to feel guilty for spending so much of your free time with Steve, so you offer to spend Halloween with Jonathan as he accompanies Will trick or treating.

Much to the disappointment of Steve who wanted you to come with him and Nancy to a party that night.

“I really need to spend time with Jonathan. I’ve been so busy with..with..”

“With me.” Steve finishes and you give him a sympathetic smile.

“He was my best friend first,” you say jokingly, and Steve rolls his eyes playfully.

“At least this way you can just focus on Nancy. You know, get to do whatever boyfriends and girlfriends do at parties without worrying about your socially inept friend there,” you say and you don’t notice the way Steve’s smile falls off his face.

“…right.”

It’s Halloween night and Jonathan decides to let Will trick or treat with his friends alone, so you both end up going to the party.

You enter together but you eventually leave Jonathan to talk to some girl that approaches him.

“I’m gonna go get some punch,” you said as you teasingly nudged Jonathan’s shoulder and gave him a wink, walking off before he had a chance to stop you.

He needed to have fun and loosen up and a pretty girl could help him do just that.

You scan the party for a familiar face, particularly Steve or Nancy, but only find Steve walking through the crowd, clearly upset.

He’s about to leave out the door until you grab his arm, forcing him to face you.

He looks like he’s about to tell you off until recognition falls on his face and his expression softens.

“Steve? What’s wrong? Where’s Nancy?” you ask, eyes swimming in concern as you search his face for any answers.

“What does it matter? It’s all bullshit anyways,” he answers, slipping his arm from your grasp as he walks out the door.

You follow him, instantly pulling him back to face you, and that’s when his whole facade crumbles.

“Nancy doesn’t love me, ok? And you know what the shitty thing is? I don’t think I love her either. I think I’m just so desperate to have things go back to the way they were that I was committed to pretending that nothing’s changed.”

“The way things were? You mean you wanna go back to when you were ‘King Steve’? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes! That’s exactly what I’m saying. Back to when I was loved by everyone and loved by Nancy and didn’t care that my parents weren’t ever home because that meant I got to have drunken pool parties at my house and be a stupid teenager. Back to not giving a shit about anything or anyone.”

“Back to not even knowing I existed?” you point out, a scowl on your face.

Steve looks you in the eyes, silent for a moment. “That’s not what I meant.”

“But that’s how it was. You never even looked in my direction, let alone knew my name. Yea sure, you were ‘King of Hawkins High’, but you were also an asshole and used people just to make yourself feel good. A total douche bag. And I’m sorry that the school isn’t worshipping at your feet anymore, Steve, but you’re a much better person now than you ever were back then. And I care about you. So much. It’s hard for me to let new people in because I also know what it’s like to have people leave and not give a shit about you. But I let you in. And you’re making me fucking regret it,” you say, tears in your eyes as you walk off.

Steve calls out to you but you continue walking.

“No, I’m not second to anyone, Steve. Not to Nancy, not to your parents, and especially not to those stupid idiots we go to school with,” you say, and you feel Steve catching up to you, still refusing to turn back.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot, ok? That’s been established several times. But, it’s just…you can’t blame me for not wanting to deal with what’s happening right now. For wanting to pretend like it can go back to the way it was.”

You don’t respond, angry tears trailing down your cheeks.

“Will you just stop? Please?” and he grabs your arm with enough strength to pull you to him.

You’re glaring at him but Steve is preoccupied with the tear streaks and water in your eyes. He instinctively brushes your cheek in an attempt to wipe them away, yet his finger lingers on your skin while the rest of his hand cups your cheek, causing your breath to hitch in your throat.

You watch him with tentative eyes as his face moves closer, his lips eventually hovering over yours and both your breaths gets heavier.

His eyes close and despite his lips were now barely an inch away from yours, you don’t move.

“Call me when you’re done pretending,” you whisper to him, and his eyes immediately open, watching as you push him away.

He watches you walk away, completely taken aback.

He knows he really shouldn’t, but he can’t stop thinking about how his lips were almost on yours.

An idiot. A huge fucking idiot.

Steve now realizes that he definitely likes you more than a friend should and he's felt this way for a while. He just didn't want to accept it.

Back at school the next day, you and Jonathan recount last night's events.

Jonathan had assumed Steve had driven you home when he couldn’t find you back at the party, and he was apologizing like crazy when he found out you ended up walking all the way home.

“It’s not your fault. It’s Steve’s, because if he wasn’t an idiot then I would have let him drive me home,” you clarified, clearly still irritated.

And given that Steve still hasn't checked up on you, you had every right to be.

“Yeah umm..I’m really sorry but I’m going to have to reschedule our movie tonight,” Jonathan reveals at some point in your conversation, and you look up at him, disappointed.

“But it’s Friday. We always watch a movie on Friday,” you whine with a pout.

“Except…” he starts, and you finish his sentence.

“Except if it's a life or death reason we can't. That’s the pact we made when we were 8,” you say, and then realization hits you when you see Jonathan give you a face.

“Oh no. No. Jonathan, what the hell are you getting yourself into?” you ask, eyes wide.

He explains the plan he has with Nancy and despite not supporting it, you promise to cover for him and watch over Will and Joyce while he’s gone.

“If you die or get taken by crazy government psychos I will be saying ‘I told you so’ till my very last breath,” you tell hi and Jonathan laughs and hugs you, thanking you repeatedly.

It’s then that Steve walks by in the hallway, of course, and your eyes lock instantly.

Even though it feels like hours, he looks away instantly, swallowing the lump in his throat at seeing you in Jonathan’s arms.

It reminds him of catching you holding his hand in the back of his car.

It’s that innocent little exchange between you and Jonathan that gets Steve back to thinking about himself and his future. If he was no longer King Steve, then who was he? What did he have to look forward to?

He was sure he wasn’t going to get into any colleges, given his poor gpa. Heck, he’d be surprised if he even graduated.

And as for you, he was sure you and Jonathan were going to realize your obvious feelings for each other sooner or later and get together, leaving poor Steve in the dust.

Well then, if he can’t move forward, then he’d just have to take a step back, because he sure as hell wasn't going to stay stuck in this point of his life where he had nothing and no one.

He makes a mental list to get back to King Steve status, starting with trying to get back with Nancy.

He buys a bouquet of red roses and marches over to her house, muttering an apology he doesn’t even mean.

But Dustin, of course, gets to him first, and he’s then forcefully involved in the search for Dart.

As they throw raw meat down the train tracks in hopes of luring Dart, Steve begins to give Dustin some ‘girl advice’, something he probably shouldn’t be doing given his current predicament.

“You have to act like you don’t care,” he says to Dustin.

“Even if you do?” he asks and Steve nods.

“Especially if you do. It drives them nuts.”

“Is that why you and Y/n haven’t gone out? Because you show her that you care too much?” he points out and Steve freezes.

“What are you talking about, Henderson?”

“I mean, it’s obvious that you like her. You look a lot happier when you’re around her. But I guess that’s ‘cause you don’t like-like her, so you’re not overthinking it and you’re just being yourself.”

“No, but, I do like..” and he stops himself immediately.

What was he saying?

Dustin turns around to face Steve, brow raised. “Wait, you do? Then what about..”

“Nope, I am not having this conversation right now, especially not with you.”

With a lot of pleading and annoying whines from Dustin, Steve finally gives in.

“Okay, okay, fine! Maybe I do like her. But so what? She’s obviously into Jonathan, which honestly really sucks because I think Nancy is also into Jonathan, so…” and he puts his arms up as if to say ‘whatever’, but immediately looks over at Dustin in confusion when he hears him crack up in laughter.

“Y/n and Jonathan?? You can’t be serious,” he says between laughs, tears welling in his eyes.

Steve looks obviously annoyed, not understanding the joke.

“Come on man, they’re like brother and sister. Trust me, she doesn’t like Jonathan like that. Now as for Nancy..that I can’t really say,” he states with a shrug, but Steve doesn’t pay any mind to that.

“Wait, so they don’t like each other like that? Like, not even one sided?”

“Definitely not. I honestly overheard Jonathan teasing her once about you. Apparently she has a small crush or something,” he says in slight disgust.

A blush appears on Steve’s face and he looks absolutely dumbstruck as he smiles.

“Little crush, huh?”

“Ew, stop, you’re like, glowing,” Dustin states, throwing a piece of meat out into the track.

Steve is slightly lightheaded thinking about you and that’s when everything falls in perspective for him.

Fuck being King Steve.

He wants to be yours instead.

You’ve been with Joyce the whole time, experiencing the episodes with Will and the chaos at the lab. You’re shaken up but you do what you do best and power through it.

It’s at the Byers’ house where you all reunite, including Nancy, Jonathan, and of course, Steve.

You do your best to avoid him, still feeling upset over what happened at the party and how Steve has seemingly decided to go back to acting like you don’t exist.

Clearly on the road to becoming ‘King Steve’ again.

Steve goes to help Nancy with something outside and you’re sure that they were making up and already planning their wedding date.

Little did you know, Steve was actually reassuring Nancy that what she said that night at the party was true.

“You were right. It was all bullshit. I’m sorry that I didn’t accept the reality of it all. That I just kept on pretending but..I’m done pretending, Nance. And I think you should too,” he says, referring to her constant denial of not loving him, and disregarding her feelings towards Jonathan.

Nancy looks at Steve, almost trying to catch if he was lying to her, but he gives her a reassuring smile.

She smiles back.

While Joyce, Jonathan and Nancy deal with trying to get the Mind Flayer out of Will, you stay behind with the rest of the group.

Steve finds a moment to approach you, clearing his throat to get your attention as you look up at him from your spot on the couch.

“Hey um..h-how are you?” he asks and immediately regrets it, shutting his eyes at his stupidity.

“How am I doing? Really?” you echo, brows raised and Steve shakes his head.

“No, yeah, stupid, I know. It’s just..I'm sorry about what I said the other night. I mean, you’re right. Why would I want to go back to being someone who was a total piece of shit, especially when they didn’t realize how amazing you were?”

You watch Steve with a bemused expression, unaware of where he was going with this. “Steve..”

“Please. Just...I need you to know that you’re not second to anyone. You never have been. I’m just stupid and a coward and I’m sorry. But I’m done with all that bullshit. I’m not scared of moving on anymore. And I need you to know that I honestly really li-“

“Steve! We have company!” Dustin announces frantically and you both look over at the window, a bright light seeping through the blinds.

Max’s brother Billy has arrived, apparently to take her back home, but you’ve seen Billy at school and have overheard the way he talks to Steve and know he’s bad news all around.

“I’ll be right back,” he says, but you immediately reach out for his arm.

“Hey, it’s ok. I got this,” he reassures you, and your gazes linger on each other until you give him a small nod and let him go.

You watch with the kids through the window, hoping Steve is able to take care of it without any trouble, but when Billy catches you all staring, shit hits the roof.

Billy pushes Steve to the ground and kicks him in the stomach.

Your eyes widen and you’re immediately up on your feet, just as Billy bursts through the door.

You step in front of the kids but Billy just laughs at you, walking closer.

“Hey, aren’t you Byers' whore? Let me guess, you’re on Steve duty, tonight? God, you guys are a bunch of freaks, swapping each other around like that,” he comments, but you ignore him, face firm as you tell him to get out.

“Can’t do that sweetheart. You see, Max here has disobeyed me. Do you remember what I do when you disobey me, Max?” he asks, eyes on Max.

“Billy..”

“I break things,” he says and before you can even react, he shoves you aside and grabs Lucas, shoving him against the wall and knocking down a couple of vases that were displayed on a shelf.

The kids are screaming, Lucas included, and you do the first thing that pops into your head.

You grab a nearby book and chuck it at Billy’s head.

Billy lets go of Lucas and he takes the opportunity to kick Billy in the groin before running off towards you and the group.

Billy bends over in pain and grunts, taking a moment to collect himself before turning around towards you all, visibly seething.

He bolts towards you and grabs you by the arm, slamming you against the nearby table. Your chest is forcibly being held down as Billy holds your arm behind your back, twisting it painfully. His face is uncomfortably close to your skin and you suddenly feel his tongue slide down the back of your neck causing you to shriek, eliciting a laugh from him.

You try to fight him off of you but his hold is too strong.

“You know what I find funny? The fact that women are always going on and on about being treated like 'equals'. Begging to be seen the same as men. But then, when they get treated the exact same way, they go ahead and cry about it. Well, I’m all for equality, baby. I’ll fucking kill you just like I will Steve Harrington,” he says, and he twists your arm even more, surely breaking it, and causing you to scream in pain.

“GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!“ Steve yells as he runs into the room, rapidly pulling Billy off of you and sending a punch right to his face.

It’s enough to daze Billy for a second as Steve helps ease you up, cradling your injured arm in his hands.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m here now,” he says as you whimper, the pain in your arm and the wet spot behind your neck forcing you to shut your eyes, trying to keep yourself from breaking down right then and there.

Billy comes flying back to Steve, fists at the ready and Steve tries his best to gently shove you out of the way while also dodging Billy’s punch.

Mike quickly leads you away from the fighting, and you all watch as Steve seemingly pummels Billy to a pulp.

But then it all goes downhill when Billy slams a plate on Steve’s head and you watch horrified as he continuously slams his fists on Steve’s face, clearly unconscious.

Thankfully Max is able to think fast and uses the syringe on Billy, effectively knocking him out.

Dustin helps create a makeshift sling for your arm as Max volunteers to drive, given that Steve is knocked out and you can’t steer with a broken arm.

In the car you worriedly watch over Steve, hands stroking his hair as you study his face.

Halfway through the ride he wakes up, eyes blinking slowly as he groggily begins to speak.

“Sweetheart? Is that you?” he asks, and your cheeks immediately heat up at the pet name.

Mike and Dustin are squeezed together to fit in one seat and they exchange looks before snickering to themselves, Lucas turning around in the passenger seat to face you with a raised brow.

“He obviously thinks I’m Nancy,” you explain, but Steve drops his head on your shoulder, looking up at you with a loopy smile.

“Y/n, my baby. You’re soooo pretty. I just wanna hug you and kiss you and love you forever,” he declares, eyes shutting as he nuzzles into your shoulder and passes out again.

“Mhm,” Lucas says to you with a smirk and you hide your face behind your hands.

Once you get to the field, Steve is now fully conscious, the memory of what he said seemingly non-existent as he groans and complains about his head.

The kids are determined to destroy the demodog cave underground and decide that you should stay in the car and keep watch, given your broken arm.

Just as they’re about to go though, Steve walks over to you.

“Hey, so..this day has been a mess, clearly. And I know this isn’t the time or the place but, just in case anything happens in there, I just want you to know that I really, really, care about you. And you’re honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would never go back to a time where you weren’t a part of my life,” he admits and you note the adoration in his eyes as he looks down at you.

You smile, chest warm, and you lift your one good arm up as a signal for him to embrace you. Steve leans down so he can hug you while you’re still seated in the car and you nuzzle your head in his neck, sighing.

“You may be an idiot, Steve Harrington, but god do I love you,” you say and although you don’t mean it in that way, Steve’s absolutely beaming.

To be loved in any kind of way was all he ever wanted, but it felt so good to be loved specifically by you.

The thought that maybe, one day, you’d love him in the way he hoped you would, is enough to give him the strength to go on with the mission without acknowledging the throbbing pain in his head.

As you’re still embracing Steve, the kids come back to figure out what’s holding him up and make fake kissing noises when they see you both hugging.

“Oh y/n, my baby!” they all taunt, and Steve turns around to look at them confused.

“What? Why are you guys saying that?” he asks, genuinely confused and weirded out, and you laugh, shaking your head.

“It's nothing. Now come back alive, all of you! Do you hear me?” you call out to them as they run off.

The kids’ plan goes off successfully and so does the plan to get the Mind Flayer out of Will and everything pretty much goes back to normal after that.

You and Steve are back to being best friends, hanging out on the days you weren’t with Jonathan, who, thanks to his new relationship with Nancy, you no longer felt guilty about leaving him alone.

Steve is still having trouble telling you how he really feels but decides it’s better to wait till the emotions and stress of the last events wear off.

Plus, he wants to wait for the perfect moment. He thinks you deserve at least that.

It’s the Snowball dance and he drops Dustin off at the front of the school, coaching him on how to get a girl, when he sees you walk out of the door, all dressed up with your hair done differently than he’s seen it before.

You look breathtakingly beautiful, even with the cast still on your arm. It’s admittedly kinda cute to Steve.

His breath catches in his throat, eyes glued to you, feeling a little lightheaded when you notice him, waving.

Dustin looks back at Steve, rolling his eyes as he says “Just ask her out already, it’s embarrassing,” and walks out the car.

You greet Dustin as he enters the gym and make your way over to Steve, leaning on the rolled down passenger window.

“Fancy seeing you here, Harrington,” you say, and Steve has to pinch himself so he can ‘pick his jaw up from the floor’ and respond.

“Yeah..fancy..you..too,” he says and mentally kicks himself.

“Are you busy right now?” he asks.

“Well, I’m supposed to be a chaperone but, I’m sure I can still do some ‘chaperoning’ in the parking lot.”

You get into Steve’s car and he drives you to the empty side of the lot.

There, you both sit on the trunk of his car, talking and laughing and listening along to the distant music that was blasting in the gym.

“Oh I love this song!” Steve exclaims as ‘Seperate Ways’ by Journey played.

You giggled as Steve sings along, belting with all his power and making goofy hand gestures.

“Someday, love will find you

Break those chains that bind you

One night will remind you

How we touched and went our separate ways”

To Steve’s joy, you sing along with him.

“If he ever hurts you

True love won't desert you

You know I still love you

Though we touched and went our separate ways”

You’re both a laughing mess as the song changes to ‘Every Breath You Take’ by The Police.

The laughter fades slowly as Steve looks at you, a small smile on his face. “Do you wanna dance?” he asks, and you smile back, nodding.

“I would love to.”

He jumps down and helps you off the trunk carefully. He then places his hands on your waist while your one good arm wraps itself around his neck and you both sway slowly to the music.

You suddenly feel your heartbeat rapidly in your chest when you notice the way Steve is looking at you and you watch as his face leans closer to yours, instantly getting hit with Dejavú.

“Steve,” you whisper, just as his lips hover inches over yours.

He shakes his head, hair tickling your face. “I’m done pretending,” he whispers back, and your lips finally meet.

It’s like electricity and sparks and whatever else people write about in romance novels when there’s a kiss involved, but it was real and you both felt it.

Steve has, admittedly, kissed a lot of girls before, but it has never once felt like this.

He cups your cheek, deepening the kiss as your arm around his neck pulls him closer to you.

When you finally part you both are comically out of breath, Steve resting his forehead against yours.

“Please tell me I can do that again,” he says breathlessly and you nod with a giggle, closing your eyes when he leaves a sweet kiss on your forehead.

It’s safe to say this was the perfect moment he was waiting for.

Extra:

When you guys go back to school after break, you realize that you're a total hypocrite.

Why?

Because you find yourself making out with Steve in front of his locker nearly every day between classes.

You punch his shoulder when he makes a comment about how his locker neighbor is going to be annoyed by the two of you.

[graniairish]

Walking on Eggshells – Part 3

so here is the 3rd part. maybe some more will follow ...

Part one Part two

Daryl had woken up before dawn. He had always been an early riser and, like you, always one of the first to greet the new day.

You yourself were only half asleep. Immediately you noticed when he began to move as he slowly left the dream world.

With his right arm still around you, he pulled you tight. At some point during the night you had turned your back to him and now he was spooning you from behind.

In his arms you always felt so safe and secure, as if nothing could happen to you in these moments.

"Mornin'", you heard his deep voice, which was still very rough from sleep.

"Good Morning."

Daryl snuggled up close to you and you had to laugh lightly, because his stubble tickled your neck when he kissed you there - still sleepy.

Only you knew this side of him. For everyone out there he was the fearless redneck who hardly spoke more than two sentences to anyone; the loner who should not be messed with.

Only you knew the gentle and loving man who kept looking for your physical closeness; the passionate lover who never seemed to get enough of you.

"Have any plans for today?"

"I'll take care of the chicken coop with Jake and Josh."

"Jake and Josh," Daryl asked confused.

He raised his head and looked at you questioningly.

"Yes. The two have experience in construction. I already spoke to them yesterday."

"Who are Jake and Josh?"

“They're from Woodbury. You know them."

"Don't know who ya're talkin’ about," Daryl said, still trying to remember them.

“Jake and Josh, the two brothers. Big, black hair, tattoos on the upper arms …"

"The two who look like bouncers?"

“Yes, exactly this two. Together we will try to build a beautiful new home for our chickens."

"If ya want."

With these words, Daryl pressed a longing kiss on your shoulder before he broke away from you and slowly left the bed.

You first stretched yourself with relish before you turned around and watched your boyfriend get dressed. A warm feeling spread in your body at the thought that this man was your man, that this man wanted to be your man. You were so incredibly happy. You would never trade Daryl for anything or anyone in the world.

When he approached you and leaned over - his hands propped up on the left and right of your head - you were still lying in bed dreaming.

He had to go, after all, his shift on the Guard Tower soon began.

"See ya in the fields then", he said with a smirk.

“Unfortunately, you have to do without me today. Rick and I want to look for a location for our chicken coop first thing today."

"Ya're breakin’ my heart," he whispered as he gave you a gentle kiss on the lips, longingly and so full of love.

"I'm sure you will survive," you smirked.

---------------------------------------------

Contrary to your usual practice, you had helped Carol prepare breakfast that morning while you waited for Rick. Typically, you would always start your days in the gardens to get much of the work done before the sun got too stinging and made the job difficult.

But today you were only there for a short time, had brought the chickens there for the time being. You wanted them to take care of the pests that are currently making life difficult for your plants - hopeful that they would not attack the freshly set lettuce plants.

It was unusual for the residents of the prison to be woken up so early in the morning by the screams of their newest roommate. It was not to be underestimated how loud this little feathered guy could be. The young rooster, however, was not deterred by the confused looks and kept crowing while he watched his girls who happily scratched the ground.

People would get used to it sooner or later, you were sure of that. Apart from the fact that the poultry's permanent residence in your community was not up for discussion anyway.

These animals would ensure your survival and were essential to building a secure future. And your hope was anyway that it would not be the only livestock that would populate your little farm in the future.

Even if some ex-Woodbury residents were not exactly happy about their boisterous and loud alarm clock. First and foremost Michelle, who made a rather pinched impression when she showed up in the canteen that morning.

She had avoided you since the incident during your run. You were actually very happy about it, only the look with which she was looking at you gave an idea of how much she displeased you.

But you did not have time to think about it that day, after all, a big construction project was waiting for you, and by the time you and Rick went to inspect the site, you had long since forgotten about the blonde woman.

-------------------------------------------

If there was one thing that was not lacking in the Prisons office complex, it was pens and paper. Whoever took care of the administration here before the apocalypse broke out was a real hamster.

So it was easy for you to organize the necessary material to start drawing the plans right away. After all, organizing such a building project was easier with a blueprint than without one.

The place was chosen, now all that was missing was the plan and the necessary building materials.

The plan was your responsibility, and the men would get the necessary building materials.

Rick, Jake and Josh were already gathering everything necessary to start construction as quickly as possible.

You approached the matter with a lot of patience, trying not to forget anything that could be important, while line by line you put your new chicken coop on the paper. There was a lot to think about.

The stable had to be built on stilts so that the ground did not start to rot at some point if it was constantly standing in the damp earth, and still be stable. Inside there had to be enough space for cleared nests and perches, and the stable had to be easy to clean, after all, it had to be mucked out regularly.

Concentrated you sat over the plans and tried to consider everything, that you had lost all sense of time.

"Ya even know what ya're doin’?"

You were just thinking about a possible extension - should the chicken population grow faster than you thought - and had not noticed that Daryl had approached.

"Believe it or not ..." you began absently, but you did not get very far.

"But yar mother taught ya how to build a chicken coop when ya were a child," said Daryl with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Smart ass!” You said curtly, without even looking up from your work.

But then suddenly you stopped. Thoughtfully, you looked up at your boyfriend and thought for a moment.

"Was that just a déjà vu?"

You looked questioningly at Daryl, who was still standing next to you, grinning. By now he had leaned over your blueprint, resting his left arm on the table while he placed his other arm lovingly between your shoulder blades.

"No seriously. Who taught ya that. Looks really professional."

Silently you looked at the drawing in front of you again. A painful tightness spread in your chest, making it difficult for you to breathe. You had not thought of him in a long time, you hardly had time to longingly mourn the past.

But here and now the grief suddenly and unprepared attacked you.

"Jeff," you whispered with a sad smile.

"Your brother?"

"Yes," you nodded.

Slowly your gaze changed, was no longer thoughtful and dreamy, and Daryl noticed that you were getting sadder from moment to moment. He knew about your brother, after all, you had mentioned him repeatedly before.

Everyone had those times when they thought of loved ones who they probably would never see again.

Back at Hershel's farm one night you had told Daryl about Jeff and how close you had been as children. And with tears in your eyes you had talked about what had probably happened to him when the dead began to walk over this world.

If he had known in which direction this conversation was going, he would never have started it.

“As children we always built tree houses,” you finally began, still smiling sadly, “once we even tried a trapper's hut. After all, it survived a winter. He was great at that; then he even studied architecture. Did I tell you that? Immediately after graduating, he took a job in Denver, where he met his great love. And then the offer came from New York. He and Valerie had only just moved when ... "

You had to take a shivering breath. Since the beginning of this apocalypse, you had not heard from him. And the likelihood that he was still alive was almost zero.

"’m sorry … shouldn't have asked."

It hurt Daryl to watch as you tried to bravely swallow your tears. He had not intended to reopen the wound the loss of your family had left. During your story, he sat down next to you on the bench and was now lovingly stroking your back.

"You do not have to be sorry. It's nice to think of him again. Even when it hurts."

"Don't think he would have loved me that much," Daryl laughed bitterly.

“Oh believe me, Daryl, he would have liked you,” you said with a smile, before you couldn't help but grin, “at least before you tried to get into his little sister's panties. Then he would probably have fed you to the next best walker."

"Would have been worth the risk”, Daryl whispered as he gave you a gentle kiss on your temple.

You looked lovingly at the man next to you. You were so grateful to have him by your side. He was your little island of bliss in this sea of horror. Even the painful memory of your brother only hurt half as much when he was with you.

"How is the planning for the new home of our chickens going?" Asked Carol as he sat down at your table with Judith.

"Quite well. The only question that remains is whether we want to make it winterproof or do we want to take the chickens into our buildings in winter. We currently have enough space."

You instantly found your coolness again; were calm and collected like nothing had happened.

Since so many people joined your community, you tried to keep your feelings to yourself more. And with a few exceptions, there was only one person inside the prison fences who also knew your vulnerable side. Who knew every aspect of your personality, every dark abyss of your soul, and loved every single one of it.

Daryl.

"I don't have a lot of experience with it," admitted Carol, "but I suppose these animals are not very frost-proof."

“Not really,” you smiled, “so we should give them nice winter quarters within the walls. Just to be sure."

"But one with enough space, hopefully we'll soon have a lot of chicks," Daryl said mischievously.

"So I don't need to add scrambled eggs to the menu anytime soon," said Carol with a shrug.

"Not for the time being. Sorry."

------------------------------------------

Daryl was leaning on a shovel at the construction site of the new chicken coop. He had just dug the last hole in the ground, in which one of the wooden posts would soon find its place – to form the basic structure of this building.

With a certain amount of pride, he watched you take on the construction supervision of this project with seemingly effortless ease. You organized the individual construction phases cleverly and nimbly, so that even experienced construction workers like Jake and Josh could be guided by you.

You were ready to listen to every single suggestion and weigh the pros and cons without losing sight of the goal.

Daryl was fascinated by this new facet about you, he had never noticed it before.

Here and now you seemed like a born leader. You could guide and be helpful, but at the same time you could be strict and get your way through when it was necessary. You also knew how to handle hammer and nails, how to perfectly level a construction site - and you were absolutely not afraid to lend a hand yourself.

It was obvious that this was not your first construction project to be implemented. Every single one of your movements was safe and you did not hesitate for a moment if help was needed anywhere.

Little by little, on that day, a chicken coop was actually built on the now leveled lawn, with four walls, a roof and a small access bridge for the little animals, whose coop stood on almost 15-inch-high stilts.

Inside you had perches installed and separate niches in which hopefully the next generation would soon be hatched.

"And now," Rick finally wanted to know as he stood next to you, exhausted.

"Now we need some straw so that the girls can make themselves really comfortable in there. And then they can actually move in."

"I'll get the straw," said Daryl, turning around and going on to tackle the easier part of the move.

He knew only too well how difficult it was to catch these damned beasts, and now he was not going to make a fool of himself in front of everyone.

"Then I'll probably take care of the poultry," sighed Rick.

"Do you need help," you asked with a knowing smile.

"No, I think I can handle that."

"If you think so."

Less than five minutes later, you were hunched over with laughter. It was so funny watching Rick as he tried to catch the chickens. Two Woodbury residents wanted to help him but had even less chance of getting within three feet of the poultry.

It was an incredibly funny spectacle, especially when Rick was lying on his stomach in the dirt at some point, and one of the chickens quickly jumped over his back to finally - with a loud cackling - run away.

"Do you think they need help," said Maggie, who meanwhile had to wipe away her tears from laughing.

"If we want to bring the chickens into the barn today, then we have to," you laughed, "but I haven't had such a good time for a long time."

For two more minutes you and your best friend watched the show in front of you, until you finally felt sorry and stepped in to help.

Still giggling, you shook your head, took the bowl with the grains that you used as chicken feed and walked slowly towards the frightened creatures, while Maggie slowly approached from the other side to get any outliers back on the right track.

You shook the bowl in your hand noisily as you walked through the gardens.

"Tuck tuck tuck," you started calling the chickens while you kept shaking the bowl.

It was not long before the animals began to watch you curiously. When they finally approached you - hoping perhaps to get some food - you made your way back to the chicken coop; without stopping to attract the poultry further.

Maggie followed a few yards away to make sure none of the chickens disappeared.

Finally, you stopped in front of the open stall door and sprinkled feed in the stall and on the step bridge for the chickens.

It took less than five minutes and all the animals, including the rooster, were safely stowed in the hen house, ready for the first night in their new home.

"Couldn't you have done that right from the start," said Rick, a little annoyed, as he brushed the dust off his clothes.

The embarrassed grin on his face betrayed that he was not angry at all, but rather was busy trying to keep himself from laughing at himself.

"If we had," replied Maggie, "that would have been only half as fun."

"Yea, Haha, it was so funny." Rick said sarcastically.

“Oh yes, believe me Rick, it was. It definitely was."

“For the future, Rick; ya should never mess with farmer-girls”, grinned Daryl, who of course did not miss the whole spectacle.

------------------------------------------

It was late, just after sunset. You had made yourself comfortable on your bed and were absorbed in that old western novel that you had found in the library of the prison. You had been a veritable bookworm even before the Apocalypse, and now that there was another opportunity to indulge in this hobby, nothing and no one could stop you.

In the soft glow of the kerosene lamp your eyes wandered over the lines on the already slightly yellowed pages, while blissful silence enveloped you. Your day had been busy, and your muscles felt sore after the unfamiliar work.

You would spend the first half of the night alone today. Daryl had taken Rick's shift at the Guard Tower after Judith was weep today and just did not want to let her father go. Apart from the fact that Rick had been more than exhausted after today's chicken adventure.

But Daryl was happy to take over his shift immediately. He just had a weakness for this lil asskicker - as he affectionately called her. One day this stubborn redneck would become a wonderful father. You had known that for a long time, even if he still doubted it.

> KNOCK KNOCK <

"Yes," you looked up from your book, confused.

Actually, you didn't expect any more visitors. The door opened slowly, and Maggie stuck her head through the gap with a smile.

"Hey Y/N/N, am I bothering you?"

“No, not really. Why?"

"Where's Daryl?"

"Guard Tower. He's taken on Rick's shift."

"How long will he be gone?"

“His shift has just started. Why are you asking Maggie?"

"So we have time for a girls-night!"

"Think so?"

"Perfect, I also brought gifts."

Hardly a moment later the young woman was on your bed with you, her legs crossed, while she grinned mischievously at you. It took a few moments before you noticed the cloth sack in her hand.

"Please tell me that you don't plan to take out your nail polish and make-up now. I don't think I'm in the mood for it."

“No, don't get silly. No nail polish, no make-up, and we're not going to do each other's hair. This is going to be more of a grown-up version of a girls-night. "

"Okay Maggie, just for the record, you scare me."

Jokingly, she gave you a clap on the shoulder before opening the sack in her lap and looking inside happily.

"Well, first of all, something that every woman can use nowadays."

And with that she got a cardboard box about 4x2 inches out of the sack.

"May the days be less of a problem during the days," said Maggie, handing you the box.

Confused, you looked at the thing in your hand. It looked almost new and the writing was easy to read.

When you finally understood what you were holding in your hand, you looked in amazement at the woman in front of you.

“This is a lady cup. Where did you find that?"

You could hardly hide your astonishment. You had not seen anything like this in years, and not only once did you wish you had not left yours at home.

“This Amazon warehouse was a real treasure trove. Not just in terms of the preserving jars. "

“So that,” you held up the little box, “will make all this menstrual shit a lot easier during an apocalypse. Slowly the tampons became really scarce. And I was so afraid that sooner or later I would have to do the thing with free bleeding too. However, I don't think I would be able to do that with my daily routine."

"You can say that again. Mine is already safely tucked away in my cell."

“It's interesting how the priorities change when the world suddenly ends,” you philosophized while looking at the little box in your hand from all sides.

"You're right."

"I think if the world weren't so close to the edge, I wouldn't be where I am now," you said thoughtfully.

"Are you talking about Daryl and you?"

"No … yes … somehow ... yes. Daryl and I would probably never have met. We would never have gotten together. And to be honest, I don't like this idea."

“Even if that sounds pathetic now, but you and Daryl, you two are meant for each other. I think you would have run into each other either way. I can well imagine that you two would have happened one way or another."

“You have to say something like that, Maggie, you are my best friend. But thanks anyway. And as for you and Glenn ..."

"Oh that was just sex," laughed Maggie.

“And sex became love,” you smiled conspiratorially, “and don't even try to deny it. Any blind person can see how much you love your Korean boy."

“I don't mean to deny anything. But at least it wasn't as much of a drama with Glenn and me as it was with the two of you."

"What are you talking about?”

With mock insult, you cross your arms in front of your body.

“Oh come on, Y/N/N, that was really like a soap opera. You have no idea how desperate we all were because the two of you couldn't handle it."

“Yeah, thank you, don't remind me. With the amount of tears I've shed because of him, this whole prison could be flooded. I'm just glad that Michelle leaves me alone now."

"And I thought you'd be glad you and Daryl are a couple now," Maggie replied mischievously.

"You are so stupid sometimes," you laughed and playfully pelted your friend with your pillow, "of course I am. Very much."

"I know what you mean. She was so after you. That was really no longer normal. She felt like a high school bully to me."

"Yes, thank you. Please don't remind me. I'm just glad she stopped chasing after Daryl."

"That doesn't surprise me at all," said Maggie with a shrug.

"Why?"

"Wait a minute, you don't know?"

"What shall I know?"

"Daryl gave this woman hell."

You stared at Maggie in disbelief, eyes wide and mouth wide in shock.

"He has what? When? Where? Why? How?"

“You were still in the infirmary. Daryl was more or less busy moving. He partly overheard a conversation, "began Maggie meekly, and you noticed how uncomfortable the whole thing was for her, "that was really not intended, honestly. But he heard Carol and I ... well, we talked about how we actually blame Michelle for it - that you almost died. Especially after she scolded you for so long. Though I would have liked to have punched her earlier because of that, just like Carol."

"And how did Daryl react to that," you asked nervously.

"Well, first he confronted us, and then he snapped into protection mode."

"Oh shit."

"Yes. He then went to Michelle and confronted her ... although he didn't even really let her have a say. The woman got the lecture of her life. I'm actually surprised that you didn't hear Daryl in the infirmary, the way he screamed."

“Wow, I know what it is like when Daryl freaks out. I'm almost sorry for the woman."

"Seriously? That woman messed you up for weeks and now you feel sorry for her? I think she deserves what she got."

“I said: I'm ALMOST sorry for her, not that I feel sorry for her. That's a difference Maggs."

“Well, whatever. In any case, that was the last day that Michelle got close to Daryl."

You tried to hold back a grin as you looked at Maggie through your eyelashes.

"Does that sound bad when I tell you that I even enjoy the fact that she has disappeared from our periphery."

“No, it doesn't. I understand that. And I am so glad that you two are finally happy together."

Your friend hugged you lovingly.

"Thanks."

“Where we are on that subject right now. I still have something for you. Or rather for both of you. So that you can have fun without a guilty conscience."

And with that she reached into her cloth sack again and took out another box. Larger than the previous one, and two more that looked like toothpaste wrappers.

You looked at your best friend questioningly.

"Read", she just said and held out the larger box to you, "read."

Confused, you took it from her and began to read. After the first few words your eyes widened, and you stared at Maggie in shock; your mouth opened wide. Hardly a moment later you grabbed one of the other packages and read the label.

"Oh my God. How? Where?"

"As I said, this Amazon warehouse was a real treasure trove."

"Amazon sold something like that?"

"Seems so."

"Oh my fucking god", you shouted a little louder and still couldn't believe what you were holding in your hand.

"Yes, I think you will soon call that more often in these four walls."

Instantly you froze and looked at Maggie in silence and wide-eyed. Hardly three seconds later you both started to laugh loudly, as if on command. You just could not believe what this woman had brought you from that run.

A bloody condom was nowhere to be found within a radius of no idea how many miles. But Maggie had somehow managed to find a diaphragm with the corresponding spermicide gel in this huge hall complex of a former mail order company.

"Do you think the stuff still works," you said thoughtfully after a while.

“According to the expiration date, it should work for at least another year. I don't think it'll take you more than a year to use it up, though,” Maggie said mischievously.

"I don't even know what to say."

"Thanks would be a good start."

"Thanks. I mean that honestly."

"No problem."

"Please don't get me wrong, it's not that Daryl and I aren't having fun, but ..."

"But sex brings a certain closeness that you can hardly achieve in any other way," Maggie completed your train of thought.

"Yes."

"To be honest, I have to show you both my respect."

"Why?"

"Well, living so close together, being together without ever really having sex ... I don't think Glenn and I would manage that. No matter how good he is at the thing down there."

“Well on that point I can't really complain. But thank you for this gift. I really appreciate it."

"You're wellcome."

“Normally I would say I'll think of you when I use it. But in this case …."

"Oh my god please don't."

And with that, both of you laughing, continued to dedicate yourselves to your girls-night.

Maggie and you were just having a great time about how Rick had tried his hand at catching chickens today. It had been a divine spectacle. The two of you had not been able to laugh at something like that for a long time - as you did today at Rick - who at some point lay face down on the floor while the chicken ran nimbly over him.

“Am I botherin’ ya?” You heard Daryl's deep voice at some point.

You and Maggie were surprised to see the redneck standing in the doorway.

"You're back," you asked in amazement, your cheeks still reddened from laughing.

"Yes? Why shouldn't I?"

"Oh god, what time is it," Maggie wanted to know.

"A little after midnight," Daryl replied in surprise.

Neither of you expected that. The time had passed by, and neither of you had noticed how late it was.

“Oh my god, I have to go back. It's a miracle that Glenn hasn't sent a search party yet."

Still laughing, Maggie gathered up her things and quickly made her way back to the cell block, but not without yelling "see you tomorrow".

"Did you have fun?"

"Obviously."

"Was this a kind of girls-night or somethin’?" Daryl asked while he took off his crossbow and put it in its place.

"Yes, something like that."

"Like > painting each other's nails < and so?"

You could hear the sarcasm in his voice and punished the man across from you with a slightly annoyed look.

"Seriously?"

"Yea."

"No. No nail polish, no makeup. And before you ask, we didn't do each other's hair either."

"No, just laughed at Rick tryin’ to catch the chickens today."

A smile tugged on Daryl's lips as he thought of that afternoon's show.

"Oh come on, that was really funny. And you laughed yourself. Don't think I didn't see that."

"The poor man was pretty exhausted after the whole story."

"Yes, but he didn't want my help ... at least initially. I just hope Judith lets him sleep tonight."

"Well, otherwise we have to expect a grumpy Rick tomorrow."

"Unthinkable!"

Theatrically you held your head and fell back on the bed, on which you were still sitting.

"Actually, I didn't expect to find ya awake," Daryl finally said as he took off his jeans.

“Wasn't planned that way either. But Maggs and I kind of lost track of time."

"Typical girls."

"Newsflash smart ass: I'm a girl."

"Already noticed."

Slowly you realized how tired and exhausted you actually were. You stretched yourself with relish, and some of your joints cracked before you relaxed and snuggled into your pillow.

"Tired?"

"Yes, very."

"That's what happens when ya're up all night instead of sleepin’."

"Oh shut up and come here," you said, just slightly annoyed.

"Yes ma'am."

Hardly a moment later you felt the mattress next to you dipping in due to its weight. He put his left arm to the side to make room for you. As if on cue, you snuggled up close to him and nestled your head in the little hollow between his neck and his shoulder.

Daryl put his arm around you. He lovingly began to draw patterns on your back with his fingertips. A feeling of absolute happiness flooded you as you just enjoyed being close to him. The tender caresses on your back relaxed you more and more, and you already noticed how you were slowly falling asleep.

"I'm proud of ya," you heard Daryl whisper.

His rough voice made his chest vibrate under you.

"Why?" You asked, already slightly sleeping.

“Ya did a great job today with the chicken coop. I'm really proud of ya," Daryl muttered before giving you a long kiss on the top of the head, "and Jeff would be too."

[redgillan]

Under Pastel Skies - 6

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 4,327

Warnings: panic attacks, Bucky recalls his accident

A/N: I don’t have much to say, Bucky’s real emotional in this one. I hope you enjoy this chapter :’) 

Wannabe sugar daddies don’t interact, idc if you have money, eat it and leave me be.

Everywhere Bucky looked his eyes and ears were assaulted by a cacophony of sounds and colours. Red and green baubles hung from the ceiling, shimmering like disco balls and sending sparkles around the mall.

The air smelled like pine and cinnamon, something he usually liked, but it was so pungent and unpleasant that it made his stomach churn and bile rise up his throat. He tried to breathe through his mouth, forcing oxygen into his lungs.

Flashes of silver and gold momentarily blinded him, and as someone walked past him, their shopping bag knocked against his leg. It didn’t hurt but it made him seethe with misplaced anger. Beads of sweat broke out on the back of his neck.

Christmas carols played over the mall speakers, more specifically Jingle Bells which they played three times in less than an hour. Enough, enough, enough. He was suffocating, unable to breathe. He felt too big for his own skin, he needed to escape.

Then he felt your hand at the small of his back, guiding him toward what looked like a furniture store. He followed blindly, his vision blurry and unfocused, and sat down when you gently pushed him down onto a sofa.

Bucky shut his eyes and let his head fall back against the cushion. A woman came up and asked if you needed help but you told her that everything was fine. The buzzing in his ears made the voices around him strangely soothing, as if he was underwater. Now that he was sitting down, he felt a lot better.  

You didn’t try to touch him, something he was very grateful for. He could feel your weight shift next to him and knowing you were there was enough. He focused on you –your heat, your voice, the smell of your shampoo- and his breathing slowly returned to normal.

“Sorry,” he breathed out with a small smile, his head lolling to one side to look at you. “I ruined our shopping spree.”

The fear and panic had dissipated, leaving him cold, exhausted and craving skin to skin contact. He took your hand and linked your fingers together. Your hands were freezing cold.

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

He snorted. “Yeah, I did.” A sad smile curved his lips, he needed to change the subject. “Do you celebrate Christmas?”

You sank further into the sofa cushion sitting shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand.

“We celebrated so many different holidays,” you said. “Perks of growing up in a multicultural family. Christmas was wild though. One tree, five kids. That poor thing never stood a chance. Now I don’t really celebrate anything. December used to be so much fun, now it’s just not the same.”

“We should create our own holiday,” Bucky suggested, squeezing your hand.

“Aren’t you going to see your family?”

“Nah,” he replied with a yawn. “My sister is taking her kids somewhere warm, and my parents are traveling the country in their RV. You can invite your siblings if you want.”

“They’re not available.”

Bucky tried to decipher the expression on your face. Every time you talked about your siblings, you had a faraway look in your eyes, as though you were reliving a memory. He couldn’t tell what you were thinking but your face twisted into a painful grimace. Then suddenly it was gone.

“I want a tree.”

He watched you with a lazy smile. “I’ll get you a tree.”

You pulled him up to his feet and decided it was time to go home. Home. It still made Bucky weirdly warm inside when you called his apartment ‘home’. You crossed the mall, your arm looped through his as you walked, and took a cab to Brooklyn.

He almost fell asleep from the gentle rocking of the car moving through the streets of Manhattan. When he glanced at you, you were looking out your window watching the snow fall.

You’d been living together for almost two months now and Bucky couldn’t have picked a better roommate. He liked the way you sang in the shower, loud, cheerful and most definitely off-key. He liked that you had more pyjamas than every day clothes. He liked watching you paint from the living room, and it always made him laugh when you added weird things to his grocery list.

He could go to bed and sleep the whole night without waking up, feeling safer knowing someone else was there. Of course, not everything was perfect but it was close enough.

He woke up on the sofa a few hours later, still dressed and with a fluffy blanket thrown over him. The sun was setting, painting the sky with reds and oranges. He basked in the setting sun, a content smile on his face, before he sat up.

The TV was on, the volume low, and you were sitting cross-legged on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table going through a bunch of old photographs. Bucky looked around the room, taking in the new furniture and decor.

There was a comfortable armchair in front of the gas burning fireplace. Your book was resting on the seat of the armchair. You had also bought a lot of decorative pillows, some were pretty funny like the one that looked like a giant cookie.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked, his voice gruff with sleep.

You looked over your shoulder at him. “Hey, you’re awake! I bought some picture frames. I thought it’d make this place look less like a high end furniture store.”

“I liked it better when you thought this apartment was amazing.”

You laughed. “I still do, but it’s a bit... soulless.” You tilted your head back, looking at him upside down. “Sorry.”

“Gotta call a spade a spade,” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “All right, well, while you do that I’m going to start dinner.”

He pushed off the sofa but you caught his wrist before he could leave. “I’m already done. I’ve left some frames for you.”

“I already have lots of pictures upstairs.”

“I know, but no one ever goes upstairs,” you replied, letting go of his wrist. “And you’re not in any of the photos.”

Bucky’s eyes were drawn to the picture you were holding. It must have been taken on the day of your high school graduation, you were dressed in a cap and gown, smiling with your whole face. He’d never seen you smile like that. He recognized Peggy Carter right away, her hair was more silver-white than brown and there were deep wrinkles around her eyes.

Your mom wasn’t looking at the camera, she was scolding the young man who was giving you bunny ears. The man was grinning mischievously at the camera. Bucky couldn’t tell how old he was, he appeared to be either twenty or fifty.

There were two other women wearing sundresses, one had long brown hair, the other had twisted her hair into Bantu knots. A young man with dyed silver hair and dark roots was squatting in front of you, his arms crossed over his chest à la Backstreet Boys.

“You should frame this one,” he said, sitting on the floor next to you.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. It makes me kinda sad.”

Bucky learned not to dwell on the past. It hadn’t been easy but it would have been impossible to heal without the support of his friends and family. Grief manifests itself in a number of ways, it’s raw and complex, and comes from your soul. 

Bucky had a deep love for his childhood, especially his college years, but while he would cherish this time forever, he had accepted that he was a different person. He wasn’t the same naïve, youthful man he used to be, and it wasn’t a bad thing.

But he also knew that some people live in the past. It makes them feel alive.

“Y’know,” he started, meeting your eyes with a smile. “My hair used to be pretty long. I think I still have some photos in a folder somewhere.”

You clasped your hands together in a silent prayer. “Bucky, I’m going to be honest with you,” you deadpanned. “I need to see those pictures. I need them now. It’s a matter of life and death.”

He rolled his eyes while he got to his feet. “You’re so dramatic. I’ll go get ‘em.”

Bucky took the stairs up to his office and came back a few minutes later with a laptop under his arm. He sat on the floor next to you and set the laptop on his lap.

“You promise you won’t make fun of me?”

“Absolutely,” you replied, mimicking a Cheshire cat grin.

He sighed and tried to look stern but it was nearly impossible. You were too lovely, and he couldn’t help but smile. He opened up the laptop and glanced at you from the corner of his eye; you were practically vibrating.

He started going through the photos when he found one of himself at a party. He was in his early twenties, slumped in a chair, his eyes glassy and unfocused. In the next one he had been joined by two equally drunk women, and he was now roaring at the camera.

“Early twenties, two arms, and not a care in the world,” he said with a little sigh.

You leaned forward, your elbow resting on the coffee table. “Looks like you were having fun.”

“College was a lot of fun,” Bucky said, grinning to himself.

“What was your major?”

“English,” he replied. “I was a really good student, I could have chosen anything but there were more girls studying literature so I enrolled as an English major.”

“Wait!” You recoiled as if you had misheard him. “Did you really choose English because there were more girls?”

He made a funny grimace, and his nose scrunched up a bit as he mulled it over. “Yeah... my priorities were a bit mixed up. Hormones and all.”

You lowered your face into your hand and laughed. When you looked up at him, he was sporting his boyish grin and you shook your head at him.

In the next picture, he was clad in a black university graduation gown standing next to a blond man also dressed in a black gown. They were smiling, sunglasses perched on their nose.

“When I graduated, I had no idea what to do with a BA in English,” Bucky said after taking a long look at the photo. “The thing is, I never found my life’s calling. In high school I didn’t know what job I wanted to do, or what really motivated me, and to be honest I never really thought about it. I figured I’d find my passion in college but...” he trailed off with a shrug. “You’re lucky to have found your passion.”

“Is that why you want to help me?” you asked. “Because I found my calling and I wasn’t pursuing it.”

He tilted his head to one side, considering. “Yes, I guess that’s part of the reason why I want to help you.” He took a shuddering breath.

“Turns out I wasn’t the only one struggling to keep my head above water.” He pressed his index finger to the computer screen. “This is Steve, my oldest friend. He had just started working as a professional freelance photographer. I had nothing to do so I decided to help him build his portfolio. You’re an artist, I’m sure you know that a portfolio will make or break you.”

“It shows what you’ve accomplished, the skills you mastered,” you said, nodding. “Your potential employers will want to see your portfolio.”

“Exactly, and you have to show them your best work. In Steve’s case, it meant taking risks. No matter how talented you are, no one’s gonna pay you for a shot of the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s gorgeous but it’s not rare.”

“So what did he do?”

“We decided to climb Mount Everest.” He mechanically rubbed his stump and your eyes followed his movement. “It might’ve been the dumbest idea we’ve ever had but it sort of made sense at the time. Steve needed a challenging project and I was trying to find my purpose. We trained for a year, put money aside and took a loan. We were young, we thought we were invincible.

“The thing is,” he continued, “Mount Everest is the most famous mountain in the world. It’s crowded and only half the climbers reach the summit. A lot of people die.” He took a small pause. “Sometimes they can’t remove their bodies and they become landmarks. Our Sherpa told us about this man, they call him Green Boots. He’s sort of curled up in a fetal position near what they call Green Boots’ cave. When you walk past him, it looks like he’s just sleeping and because it’s so cold out there he’s actually well-preserved.”

“Oh, God.”

“Yeah, it’s awful,” Bucky let out a small, humourless laugh. “When I fell, I dislocated my arm and it pinched my axillary artery completely closed. It cut off circulation. That’s why they had to amputate. I was just lying there, too weak to call for help, watching people walk past me. They thought I was dead. And I remember thinking, ‘I’m going to die here. I’m going to die here and people will refer to me as Blue Jacket.’ Then Steve and the Sherpa found me, and Steve carried me on his back until they found a shelter. When the rescue team arrived, it was too late to save my arm.”

He went through the photos in silence and glared at the screen without really seeing it, his mind far away. On the screen, there was an endless stream of blurry smiles and blue eyes but he couldn’t look away. His thoughts cleared up when he felt the back of your knuckles along his cheek and jaw.

He unclenched his teeth, feeling the pain in his jaw. You brushed your fingers through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. You mindlessly played with the curl on top of his head and raked your fingernails gently over his scalp. When you spoke, your voice was just a soft whisper.

“Come back to me.”

Bucky forced his eyes shut and swallowed past the lump in his throat, tears pooling on his lower lashes. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. After a moment, he felt his body beginning to relax.

“How do you do that?” he asked in a pleading voice, turning his head to look at you. “How do you quiet the noise in my head?”

The question caught you off guard but you recovered quickly. You took his arm and draped it over your shoulders. “I don’t know,” you said, snuggling into his side. “It’s your second panic attack today. Did I push you too hard?”

“No.” His response was immediate. “I don’t like winter. It’s freezing cold and it gets dark at three thirty. Not my favorite time of the year.”

“But this helps, right?” you asked, waving your hand back and forth in the space between you.

He chuckled. “Yeah, it helps a lot.”

“Good.” You snuggled a little closer.

“But since you’re hoarding my arm, you’re gonna have to go through the pictures yourself,” he added, grinning down at you.

“Sorry,” you laughed. You reached out and slid two fingers over the touchpad guiding the cursor over the arrow icon. “So where are those pictures of you with long hair, uh?”

He knew you were trying to distract him but still made him blush. Those photos were in a folder titled: recovery spring 2010. He gave you directions to find it and waited for your reaction, wondering if you would burst into laughter at the sight of him with long hair and a lot more weight on.

“Wow.”

Bucky turned his attention to the screen to see which one had caught your interest. It was a selfie Steve had taken one sunny afternoon after he had forced Bucky to go out with him and Sam. They were sitting outside drinking iced tea.

Steve’s smile was blinding. He was wearing that stupid baseball cap he loved so much. Bucky sat hunched over in his seat behind Steve, his smile small but genuine. It was the kind of smile that said ‘my friends forced me to join them but I’m secretly glad they did’. Sam was leaning sideways against Bucky, his eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses.

“You look like a completely different person,” you said. “So... strong.”

“Hey!” he gasped in mock offense. “How dare you? I’m still strong.” He removed his arm from behind your shoulders and raised it to flex his biceps. “Look at that!”

With a roll of your eyes, you let your hand roam over his muscular arm slightly squeezing his biceps. “Okay, I’m impressed.”

“Ah! Thank you,” he said with a pleased smile. “Now, c’mon, s’ time to eat.”

Bucky got to his feet and extended his hand to help you up. You trailed behind him as you walked toward the kitchen. “I bet Steve could rip a log in half with his bare hands.”

“I’ll ask him.”

“Where is he?”

“Hard to say. He works for National Geographic now. I think he’s supposed to be in Siberia.”

You spent the next few days like tourists. You showed Bucky your favourite museums, stayed way too long in front of several artworks but he never complained. Bucky took you to the movies. You sat together in the dark for several hours watching foreign films, and you only fell asleep once. Then the two of you would walk around Manhattan speaking in a made-up language and pretending to be characters in a movie.

Bucky couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so carefree. A little voice in the back of his head kept repeating ‘enjoy it while it lasts’ but he chose to ignore it.

“Thanks for helping me with this,” Bucky said, gesturing at the tree in the living room. “She went to the store to buy some ornaments.”

He handed Sam a bottle of beer which he took with a smile before tipping it to his lips for a long drink. Bucky hit his beer bottle on the counter to uncap it and followed Sam into the living room.

“She’s excited, uh,” Sam said with a grin. “You guys are spending Christmas together?”

“Liss,” Bucky replied after taking a swig of beer. “We’re celebrating Liss this year.”

“’The hell is that?”

Bucky shrugged. “It’s an old word. It means comfort, happiness.” A respite from pain. “We decided to make our own holiday. We’re going to spend two days in our fanciest loungewear, eating junk food and playing board games.”

“Cute,” Sam drawled out. “When’s the wedding?”

“Don’t say that.” Bucky glared at him. “Why do you always do that? I finally feel at peace with myself. I’m happy, I’m ready to take on new challenges. Why do you always have to make fun of me?”

Sam’s eyes widened at this. “Woah, I’m joking. It’s what we do. You tease me, I tease you. C’mon, I know things have been hard for you. I’m proud of you,” he rushed to say, afraid he might have hurt his friend’s feelings, but then he caught Bucky’s barely concealed smirk behind his beer bottle. “You’re messing with me.”

“Of course, man. Can you say ‘I’m proud of you’ again? Wanna make it my ringtone.”

“Screw you.” They sipped their beer in silence, each deep in thought. “But you like her, right?”

Bucky twirled the neck of the bottle between two fingers. “I do, she’s nice.”

Sam shook his head like he was frustrated with the answer “That’s not what I mean, and you know it. Don’t bullshit me.”

“I’m not in love with her, Sam.”

“I never said anything about being in love.” He was silent for a moment before he added, “Beside there’s an entire world between like and love.”

Bucky caught a glimpse of hurt and fear in the depths of Sam’s eyes. He reminded him of Steve: strong yet vulnerable, generous and righteous. Bucky had a feeling Sam wasn’t talking about you.

“Is this about Natasha?”

Sam hung his head and stared at the beer bottle he rolled between his hands. “Sometimes I feel like it was inevitable. These sugar daddy relationships are complicated; at first it’s fun and easy, we both get what we want.” He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “And then it changes, so fast you barely see it coming, and it becomes the only thing you look forward to.” He took another swig of beer.

“These few hours with her mean more to me than anything else in this goddamn world. But it’s not real, none of this is real.”

“How do you know it’s not real?” Bucky asked, swallowing past the lump in his throat.

“I pay her.” Sam gave him a sad smile. “She spends time with me because I pay her. Sex wasn’t part of our deal but it came naturally. It’s going to end, one way or another. And If my time with her is limited, why make things complicated, y’see?”

An uneasy feeling gnawed at Bucky’s stomach, taunting him, trying to make him see something he wasn’t ready to see yet. “What if she feels the same way ‘bout you?”

“I don’t know,” Sam sighed. “To know that I’d have to talk to her, and I’d rather not take my chances. I’m happy with the way things are right now. It hurts, but I’m okay.” He leaned back and made himself comfortable. “You gotta be careful, Bucky. I see the way you look at your angel. You’re skating on thin fucking ice.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Like, love,” Sam said, weighing the two words. “And everything in between.”

They mulled over Sam’s words while they finished their beer. A million thoughts raged through Bucky’s head, circling around like wasps, buzzing and annoying. He was relieved when he heard the front door open.

“Italian leather loafers, mmh is Sam here?” you called out from the kitchen where you set your shopping bag down on the table before you joined them in the living room. “Hey guys! What’s the matter? You both look like someone kicked your puppy-OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT TREE!”

While you ran across the living room, Sam cast Bucky a look. The message was clear; be careful. They got to their feet and acted like nothing happened. Sam put on his coat and gave you a quick hug before he left.

Bucky was silent while you were decorating the tree. He let you decide where you wanted to put the tinsel and baubles. He just sat there with a vacant look in his eyes, handing baubles. A smile curled his lips when you cupped his cheek and ran the pad of your thumb along his cheekbone. He looked up at you.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Bucky said with a small smile. “Just old and moody.”

You laughed. “Come here, help me with this. It’s actually super boring when no one’s fighting for the baubles.”

“Oh, you wanna fight, angel,” he said with a smirk while he played with a tinsel garland. “Ok, let’s fight.”

You took a step back. “I’ve changed my mind.”

“Too late!”

You shrieked when he launched himself at you. He wrapped the tinsel garland around you, loosely pinning your arms to your sides. You laughed so hard your eyes watered and your shoulders shook. He used it to his advantage and looped two baubles over your ears like giant earrings.

Still laughing, you tugged one of your hands free and threw a handful of tinsel all over Bucky before you ran away. He chased you around the living room, using one of the fairy lights as a lasso.  

Soon, the living room was a giant mess. There was more tinsel in Bucky’s hair than on the tree, and you had managed to wrap the fairy lights around his body. You look pretty ridiculous with your giant earrings and dishevelled hair.

You and Bucky collapsed on the floor, out of breath and euphoric. The sun was starting to set behind the skyscrapers casting a warm golden glow over the room. You turned on the fairy lights and burst out laughing when Bucky sparkled like a tree.

He found his phone on the sofa and handed it to you. You opened up the camera app and nestled closer to him. The first photo was blurry because you couldn’t stop laughing. Bucky thought the second photo was nice but you didn’t like it.

“My smile is too wild,” you said.

“You look beautiful,” he argued. “I look like a Christmas tree.”

Bucky felt a pleasant stir in his belly when you placed your head on his shoulder. Be careful. He could practically hear Sam’s voice in his head. His chest was hurting. It wasn’t unpleasant, just peculiar and unexpected. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on top of your head.

“Bucky! You have to open your eyes,” you scolded him after looking at the picture, unaware of his inner turmoil.

He wasn’t sure he could; tears were welling up in his eyes. He was terrified of his feelings for you, but his body was screaming at him to stop burying his head in the sand. He didn’t want you to see the tears in his eyes, he didn’t want to alarm you, because the truth was, he hadn’t been careful.

“Can’t. I’m comfy,” he replied, masking his true feelings behind a joke.

“Open them or I’ll tickle you.”

He chuckled. “Okay, okay, no need to use force.”

He soldiered on and opened his eyes, smiling at the camera. He liked you, and he promised himself he would never tell you. His feelings didn’t matter, it wasn’t part of your deal.

Part 7

[buckyjamess-archive]

Hi love! May I request a Lee bodecker x Hippie! Reader please, bc it is set in the 1960s, with the “Please... Kiss me, even if it’s just this once.” She is passing through down when her car brakes down or something?

pairings: soft!lee bodecker × hippie!reader 

warnings: implied smut - nothing to wild but still

wordcount: 1.6k+ this isn't even a blurb anymore

❝ free like a bird ❞

"Just great, absolutely fantastic." shaking the flashlight violently and hitting it with your hand, the light flickers before it slowly dies, leaving you in the complete dark outside your van, the only source of light coming from the small lamp inside. 

It wasn't a surprise really, after miles you trusty old van gave up. Leaving you on the roadside in the middle of nowhere. And sure, your dad did teach you a thing or two to fix whatever problem there was but all that flew right out the moment the van let you down. 

It wouldn't be the first time it let you down, you've been here before, stranded somewhere and having to spend the night wherever you ended up-- that is what your van was made up to begin with but tonight was different. Instead of reliving this moment with your friend, you had to get through it all by yourself. 

You close the hood of your van as a shiver runs down your spine. Making your teeth chatter and goosebumps to form on your skin. 

Awfully cold for a summer night. 

making your way around your car, you slide open the side door, the familiar smell of your own welcoming you. The fairy lights illuminating the space in the back. Grabbing one of your many ponchos and throw it over your head, the wool garment falling over your shoulders, warming you up in seconds. 

The roaring of a car interrupts the quiet night life of the forest and bright head lights nearly blind you but you don't pay much attention to it, it'll pass without even noticing you. Diving back into the van, you rummage through the drawers of the tiny cabinet in the hopes to find some batteries. 

The slamming of a door makes you look up and through the window you see a figure making it's way towards the van. Closing the drawer, you crawl to the edge of the door opening and pop your head out, curiously.

It can't be missed, the hat, the uniform and the star pinned to his chest. A man, an officer and as his flashlight nearly leaves you blind, you curse a mantra of profanities and shield your eyes.

"Awful place to park." 

"I know," you mumble, blinking away the lights floating around in your vision "not that I had a choice." 

The man moves the light out of your face and inspects the drivers side before looking back at you, chewing on the toothpick between his teeth. 

"You're all alone, miss?" 

"Yes sir." 

"Travelling?" The officer asks and you simply nod "out of gas?" 

Typical. 

"No." You give him a tight lipped smile "thanks for assuming things though." 

The man chuckles underneath his breath and takes his hat off and places it on the top of the van. Wordlessly walking around and opens the hood. 

Still curiously, you get out of the side of your van and follow the man around. Crossing your arms in front of your chest as you watch the man, shooting him a smile whenever he takes the time to look at you. 

"Why would a girl like you travel all by herself?" 

"I didn't actually," you chuckle, nervously for some unknown reason. "I used to be with a friend of mine but she ditched me a couple of towns back." 

The man looks up at you for a second "you got in a fight?" 

"No, no-- she fell in love with some guy she met the night before." You huff, the conversation flashing by. 

"Where you from?" 

If the man didn't give you a safe feeling, you would've questioned the ongoing list of questions but for the time being, it was nice to not be all alone in these dark woods. 

"California." 

"That's a long way from home." 

"Yeah," you breathe out "graduated and all, figured we could travel the world before starting our real lives. Turns out she started her real life a few days ago." 

And I don't belong in it.

"Well," the man stood up straight "there's not much I can do for you." 

He closes the hood, making you jump up a little. Eyes scanning over your body, taking every feature of your face in and end up locked with your eyes and flashes you a grin. 

"There's a gas station a couple of miles up north, could take you there. You could call someone." 

"Oh, that's nice," you smile back "but I'll stay here and wait till sunrise." 

The man nods, eyes still glued onto yours, the space between the two of you, for some reason, thick with tensions.

"You sure? There's some men out late at night." 

"Nothing I can't handle." 

He simply nods and flashes you that damn smile again, picks his hat up and places it in his head again, he tips the end and slowly backs up. 

"There's a motel not far from here, if you do change your mind." 

"Okay." Is all you manage to say as you swallow the lump in your throat and manage to tear your eyes off the man.

Your gaze stays on your feet. Listening to the car door being opened and shut, the engine revving and twigs crushing as the officer slowly drives away into the dark of the night.

Everything you do is different than he's used to, the way you dress, the way you talk, the way you move-- it's all so not knockemstiff. As if you'd traveled from many years ahead, different but inviting, fascinating.

So maybe that's why you've been running through lee bodecker's mind since that night. And maybe that's why he kept driving to that same road the day after, only to find the van abandoned but it doesn't take lee long before he finds you, he does have a nose for pretty girls after all. 

still dressed in the same clothes, a bag placed near your feet, a cigarette between your fingers and a phone pressed to your ears, right in front of the motel he recommended the night before and still in his car, he can hear you conversation from a far. 

"No, this was supposed to be our thing, something we saved for, worked our asses off for this and you decide to stay in some town with a guy you met minutes before for what?" it's silent and the way your body tenses and the long drag of your cigarette makes it clear you're beyond stressed out "no- dammit carol, that's not what I meant- I'm not going to calm down for you..listen flake, i've spend my night in a van without any heating because the damn thing broke down and you're the only one who knows how to fix the damn thing and now I have to spend money on some run down motel in this god forsaken town that is as dead as my grandma..no I'm not going to hitchhike my way to cali!" 

and with that you slam the phone back on the hook, lee wonders if the payphone made it undamaged. The bag makes it back on your back and the way you toss your cigarette away catches the attention from a nearby bystander who isn't afraid to whistle at you and lee can't help the smug smile that grows on his face when you flip the man off. 

Heavy boots click against the concrete parking lot and nears lee's car. 

"It's not as dead as you think it is-" he catches you off guard when you walk by "There's some stuff going on here." 

"as in cops listening to strangers phone calls?" You ask, annoyed. 

Lee licks his lips and watches an elderly couple passing by before his eyes catch yours again "Just making sure you were alright." 

You huff and without hesitation you disappear from his view. 

"Wait," he's quick to step out of his car "I can show you around town." 

He isn't the first guy you'd sleep with on a whim. You've had a few, from strange freaks you had to pass minutes into a make-out session, boys who didn't know what to do, guys who didn't know a thing or two about giving back but Lee Bodecker was different. 

You lived life the way you're friends did, following their every move as if they were the gods above.

It lingered in the air since that night, unspoken but you both knew and the invitation to let him show him around town was one you couldn't refuse, not that you were busy anyway. The station, bars, diners and hell, even the church, he showed you all. A real gentleman if you're being honest, something you wouldn't say if you saw the man for the first time.

“please... kiss me, even if it’s just this once.” as if he'd never see someone like you again, pleading and it's all it took for you to kiss him right there on the passenger seat of his car.

Soft and gentle but not treating you like something fragile, something he could break easily. Taking care of you and your body as if he'd know it for years, knowing every weak spot, driving you insane in all the right ways-- a man, a real man.

And when you arise from the sun shining through the thin curtain, in lee's bed, a strong arm wrapped around your waist and a hand on your stomach, warm breath fanning over the skin of your neck and soft snores in your ears, you might think that knockemstiff isn't as bad as you made it to be.

[cupcakemolotov]

Road to Ruin

I... have no idea where this came from. But hey, I’ll take almost 2K of story after a drought of words. SFW, character death, probably some angst. You can read it here on A03 if you prefer.

                                                            -

Caroline had missed the Memorial Service.

Finals at NYU had been brutal, her schedule packed and tangled tightly together after a truly unfair back to back testing schedule. She’d wanted nothing more than to climb into her lumpy dorm bed and sleep for a week, but she’d promised Bonnie she’d try to make it.

She hadn’t.

But that was the fault of May storms and erratic flight schedules, not her personal choice. By the time her mom picked her up in Richmond, five hours late and dragging with exhaustion no number of espresso shots could perk up, it was dark and raining. She’d fallen asleep in the car, dragged herself into the house, and had just enough energy to change before diving into her bed for the sleep she’d been missing for what felt like weeks.

Elena was dead.

The news had come five days before finals, and after sobbing her eyes out on her RA’s shoulder, she’d pulled herself together and buried herself in all night study sessions and endless equations. But the knowledge had lingered, that this friend of hers who had grown so distant the last year, more distant than any amount of school schedules and new friends could allow for when Caroline was a devout texter, was gone. She’d cried in the shower, for the girl who she’d once known and would never know again.

Shifting her weight on the damp grass, Caroline studied the freshly dug grave. The last few years before graduation hadn’t been good for their friendship, High School having been a roller coaster of drama and boys that was expected, she supposed. But if only that had been the only drama, she was certain they wouldn't have grown so far away from each other. There had been that weird mass grave that someone had found that had kept her mom busy for months dealing with the locals and the FBI, the weird way the old boarding house had been repaired seemingly to open up only to remain empty. Those strangers who her mom had not liked who had asked questions about a couple of weird gravestones in the museum. That series of petty thefts that had kept her mom even busier than the mass grave and its collection of weird historians and FBI investigations, that had finally culminated in some family heirlooms being stolen from the Lockwoods.

Tyler had bitched for months about it. Weirdly, it had been those complaints that had been the deciding factor that had her breaking up with him. Yeah, the sex had been good, but a girl did not need pillow talk about family heirlooms and how upset his mom had been. Any boyfriend worth their salt (and teenage hormones) should have been far too distracted by her being naked right there, not their moms.

She shuddered a little, thinking about it.

The second half of their junior year had been a mess, and been made worse when Aunt Jenna had died. Caroline’s fingers tightened on the bouquet she was holding, thinking of all the deaths that had accumulated that year. Aunt Jenna. Her Dad. Carol Lockwood. How terrified she had been that her mom would end up next, logical or not.

Then there had been the way Elena had gone all weirdly obsessed with finding her biological parents, the way it had driven her as if it was something outside of herself she couldn't control. Caroline studied the tops of the flowers she held in her hand, wondering if not for the first time if she could have done something different. Been a better friend, helped Elena in some way. Those long weeks that first Christmas when Elena had decided to spend it alone, how she had refused to answer a single text message until she’d shown back up at school, dark circles under eyes like an underfed anemic.

She’d been… different, after that. Less boy crazy and more… mature. And that summer, she’d gone to meet a family claiming to be hers. And when she’d come home, she’d been so happy. Bouncing, sparkling happy. Cousins, she’d said. Brother’s and a sister who said that her mother had been theirs and they’d been looking for her.

Family.

That was what Caroline wanted to remember her. The girl who sat with her for hours after Bill died, both of them quiet, legs tangled on Caroline’s bed. The girl who liked board games and pink lipstick and who had terrible taste in shoes. Her friend. Not the girl from their Senior year who had slowly become something else entirely. Pale and wane, short tempered and then so, so quiet. The girl whose new family moved into Mansion at the edge of town that had been empty for decades, who paid for an expensive car and clothes and who never came to a single game to watch her cheer.

Letting out a slow breath, she set the flowers she’d brought down on the grave and chewed on her lower lip. People usually said things at graves, didn’t they? But she’d never been good at that sort of thing. Not at her Dad’s grave, and not here, standing over the bones of her friend. She’d brought daisy’s because Elena liked them, and she briefly closed her eyes, hoping that Elena knew she was here, that she missed her, and that even if she reached the old age of one hundred, she’d remember the night she and Elena and Bonnie had laughed until they cried over the most ridiculous of conversations, until they’d had to scramble to pretend they’d been sleeping when her mom came home at dawn after her shift.

That would be the Elena she’d take with her.

Swallowing hard, she turned on one heel and jerked to a stop, heart slamming into her throat as she found a man she didn’t recognize lingering far too close to her. He was only a few inches taller than her, but something about the utter stillness of his posture, the way she hadn’t heard him walk up behind her, her usual excellent sense of people taught by her mother and perfected in the subway system having failed to ping at her, left her breathless with surprise. For a moment, Caroline struggled to get her pulse under control before narrowing her eyes. “Excuse you, creepy much? Most people have the decency not to loom in graveyards.”

A sudden hint of a smile played across a distractingly full mouth, and he reached up and pushed his sunglasses up into his rumpled curls, something about the way he was looking at her sending the faintest hint of alarm down her spine. “Spend a lot of time in graveyards?”

“That is none of your business,” Caroline said, letting her voice frost over in disapproval.

“Apologies, love.” He said, body shifting from that hair raising awareness to a soft charm she might have liked if she hadn’t seen him looking at her like she was a particularly interesting bug. “I didn't recall seeing you at the funeral, and I’m sure I would have remembered you.”

Something about him, the way his eyes never left hers, put her back up. She hadn’t spent the last two years in New York City to let some weirdo stranger intimidate her now. “I don’t recognize you at all,” she said primly. “So that means you were fairly new to Elena’s life. Do you make a habit of memorizing faces at funerals? That seems like the sort of thing that would alarm a psychologist.”

The curve of his mouth deepened, and to her despair, he had dimples. “You must be Caroline Forbes. Ms. Bennett was disappointed that you missed the service.”

Caroline shrugged, stubbornly holding his gaze though it was starting to bother her that he didn’t blink. “May storms are a bitch. And neither Bonnie nor Elena mentioned anyone who would match your description.”

He looked intrigued. “Do you usually ask for physical descriptions of their acquaintances?”

“And pictures of their drivers licenses,” she retorted. “So that if they go missing, I know where to direct my mother to find them, but you're definitely not either of their types, and since you think you have some claim on Elena, that must mean you belong to the Mikaelson family. Which one are you?”

She didn't do much to hide what she thought of his family, and it didn’t seem to bother him.

“Smart,” he murmured. “I’m Klaus.” And then he offered her his hand, something like a challenge lingering at the back of his eyes. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Caroline.”

It was a dare. And she was terrible at turning those down, even as her instincts warned her that there was something about this man she wasn’t seeing. But she was also standing twenty feet away from a number of her own dead relatives, and Grandma Forbes would haunt her forever if she was rude to this man in front of her. Baring her teeth in something like a smile, she took his hand. “A pleasure, I’m sure.”

Laughter had lit his eyes a half moment before their skin touched, and something she couldn’t describe rolled down her spine. More sensation than feeling, she felt it down to her feet, and it left her pulse pounding. She pulled her hand back, too quick to be polite, but she didn’t care as she stared at the man who had gone still and so quietly dangerous, she was debating reaching for the pepper stray attached to her keys.

She could probably get it out and in his face before he lunged.

Maybe.

Klaus’ fingers had curled into his palm, as if he too had felt whatever that had been, and the blue of his eyes were doing something strange, and Caroline became intensely aware of everything around them. The buzz of summer insects, the shape of his stupidly plush mouth, the smell of fresh turned dirt. It was the near silent buzz of an incoming text that broke the staring contest between them. Senses hyper-alert, she pulled her phone out of her purse and saw that she had two missed calls from Bonnie. Glancing up from her lashes to find that Klaus hadn’t looked away, so she pasted on her best false smile and shrugged.

“Well, Klaus, I’m sure this is where I should say something polite about seeing you around, but that seems super unlikely,” Caroline said with a false shrug of disappointment. “So, I’ll just say bye instead.”

A lowering of his lashes, something behind his eyes that burned her skin. “Hmm, I suppose we’ll see, won’t we? The family has decided to stick around a bit longer, give ourselves time to mourn. You may be surprised how much you’ll see us.”

Caroline snorted and stepped around him. “History of your family’s willingness to grace the town with your presence says otherwise.” But because her grandma had raised her right, and was probably seriously judging her only granddaughter from the plot just a few feet away, she smiled and waved, just like her pageant days had taught her. And only when she was almost to her car, did she relax enough to look at her text.

And felt her heart drop to her toes.

I don’t think Elena is dead.

Brows tucking tightly together, she went through the motions of unlocking the car door, glancing back towards the man lingering in the graveyard. Klaus hadn't moved, except to slid his hands into his pockets and to turn to watch her. She could still feel the imprint of his fingers against hers, the heat and calluses of him, the shock of him down her spine. For a moment, she tried to remember what Elena had told her about her biological family, the people who went through all the right motions but never showed her friend the care she deserved. The brother’s who had been so considerate, and offered her anything money could buy but not a single ounce of affection. Lifting her chin, she narrowed her eyes, even though she knew he couldn't see her.

Let him think what he wanted. She was fairly certain she’d never see him again. Klaus, who stood in graveyards in pressed slacks and rosaries around his throat. Something was going on there, and the last thing she needed was for him to turn out to be some kind of serial killer.

Sliding into the driver’s seat, she started the engine and set her teeth, only then allowing herself to really absorb what Bonnie had sent her. Not dead? What was Bonnie thinking? And if she was right, why would the Mikaelson’s lie?

Why bury Elena, fake or otherwise, with the ghosts if she wasn’t really dead?

[jalapeno-princess]

Back to you

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 11.3K

Genre: Angst with a happy ending (idk if I can even consider it happy exactly but they both get what they want in the end)

Summary: It’s been over two years since Mark decided to end your relationship together and you’ve been bitter about everything since the day he left. The last thing you expected was to see him on your front porch claiming he made a mistake in breaking up with you and no matter how much he broke your heart, there was no way you could forget just how happy you were because of him and how much you still loved him.

Author’s Note: I know I say this about most of my stories, but I really don’t know how I feel about this one. After hearing the song “Cardigan” by Taylor Swift, I really wanted to write a story based off of it because songs tend to stick in my mind until I finish writing a story so this might seemed a little bit rushed, repetitive and some of it might not even make sense I apologize in advance and I think I’m going to take a few days off from writing just because school and work is getting more and more busy (and to those who requested stories just know I still plan on finishing your requests thank you for your patience) with that, please enjoy.

Vintage tee, brand new phone High heels on cobblestones When you are young, they assume you know nothing Sequin smile, black lipstick Sensual politics When you are young, they assume you know nothing But I knew you Dancing in your Levi's Drunk under a streetlight, I I knew you Hand under my sweatshirt Baby kiss it better, right And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

“Babe.” 

You could feel yourself drifting in and out of sleep and it was because you were exhausted from both work and school. Being a full time college student majoring in Biology and minoring in English while having a full-time job wasn’t the most ideal situation, but you were handling it pretty well. 

When your boyfriend picked you up right after work and took you back to his apartment, all you wanted to do was change in to one of his shirts that was two sizes too big for you and go to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. However, Mark had different plans in mind. Your boyfriend was aware that you were extremely tired and he hated how you were overworking yourself, but he knew not to say anything in fear of getting in to an argument with you. 

Being friends for over ten years and dating for three was enough time for the older boy to learn every single thing about you. You were always so independent and it was something Mark both loved and hated about you. He hated seeing you cry over how frustrating college was, he hated listening to you degrade yourself and talk negatively about your accomplishments and what he hated most of all, was not getting to spend time with you. 

If you weren’t at work, you were at school and vice versa and it wasn’t like Mark had much time on his hands either. He was four months away from graduating with his bachelor’s degree in engineering and he decided not too long ago that he would go after his master’s degree right after. Spending time with you was Mark’s favorite pastime and it didn’t matter to him what the two of you were doing; as long as you were around, he was content. 

You released an exhausted sigh when he insisted on watching a movie on Netflix, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him no. Even though you were on the verge of falling asleep, you were willing to do anything to make him happy. However, the two of you weren’t even halfway through the movie when Mark noticed your head bobbing up and down and the sight made him giggle softly. 

God, he was so in love with you. 

When you heard him call out for you, you practically jolted awake from being startled and gave yourself a couple of moments to process your surroundings and what was going on. He brought his hand up to your face and cupped your cheek ever so gently while running his fingers through your hair. 

“Did you want to go to sleep? We can continue this tomorrow. I’ll carry you to the room.” You gave him an adorable, sleepy smile before shaking your head. “I’m awake, I’m fine. Let’s keep watching whatever movie this is—“ you were too tired to see him playfully roll his eyes at you and before you knew it, he turned off the tv and picked you up bridal style. 

“It’s fine babe, I’m actually about to knock out myself. Plus, it’s been a couple of days since I got to go to bed next to your pretty face. I’ve missed my baby.” Out of habit, you wrapped your hands around his neck and hid your face in the crook of his nape. The scent of fresh linen and citrus made your chest feel warm. 

It was rare for Mark to do his laundry because he had no clue what he was doing. A lot of his clothes either shrunk or changed color. He didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to mix his white clothes with colors; which is why a lot of his favorite white hoodies were now bright pink. As much as he didn’t want to bother you nor did he want you having to do things that you didn’t have to, you would always do his laundry without him having to ask. You just loved doing anything to help him out because he never failed to do the same for you. 

Since these last few weeks have been pretty hectic for the both of you, you didn’t really have time to see Mark nor did you get to go over to his place. Asking you to move in with him was always at the tip of his tongue, but because he was planning on going away for his undergrad, he didn’t want you to move in only for him to leave. Once he brought you in to his room, he placed you on to his bed while he took off his shirt and got ready to join you. 

Even if you were in and out of sleep, and you’ve seen Mark shirtless on many occasions it didn’t stop you from blushing at the sight. He didn’t take too long to join you and pulled you close in to his body; he placed his chin on your head and cheekily brought his hand up in to his sweatshirt you were wearing, drawing random figures on your bare back. The cold touch of his fingers along your shoulder blades sent shivers down your spine and you smiled tiredly to yourself at his ministrations. This was when you were at your most serene; in your boyfriend’s arms, right about to enter dreamland. 

No matter how frustrating life could get sometimes, the beautiful boy whose embrace you were in right now made everything so much better. He made all the negativity disappear. What were you going to do without him once he were to transfer colleges and be thousands of miles away from you? Mark was all you’ve known for so many years; even through all your failed and toxic relationships before the two of you became a couple, he was always there and never failed to make any unfortunate situation better. 

“Y/n? Where do you see yourself in ten years?” The sudden question broke you out of your sleep induced haze and you slowly pulled out of his embrace in order to get a better look at him. You shrugged indifferently and took a few seconds to actually think about it. There was never a time in your life where Mark wasn’t around, so you knew you wanted him in your life for as long as you could have him for; that was a given. But you hardly ever had time to think about the future and what you had hoped your life would be like. 

“Hmm, if I’m being honest with you, I’m actually not too sure. I’m hoping I have a decent job that I actually like. I mean, I’m spending thousands of dollars just to learn a bunch of shit I won’t remember later on, so I’d like to think I can get a job that pays enough for me to make a living off of. I also want kids, I really want children. I’ve always dreamed about having a big family. That’s all I really care about. I want five kids at the most, but I want to be able to completely afford them and be able to take care of them so we’ll just have to wait and see. What about you? And why the sudden question about the future Mark?” He lifted up your chin and placed a chaste kiss upon your lips. 

“Do you see me in that future of yours?” You scoffed at the fact that he completely ignored your questions, and because he was inquiring on whether or not you wanted him to stay if your life; if he was the man you planned on settling down and spending the rest of your life with. You could’ve sworn you told him countless times that he was all you needed for the rest of your days and maybe he was just messing around with you. 

“Of course I do. Even when we were kids, I knew I always wanted you around Mark. We’ve known each other for almost fourteen years, there’s no way you can get rid of me now babe. I don’t care what my future looks like, all I know is that I want you in it.” He gave you his signature cheeky grin before pulling you up against his chest. 

“Good, because that’s all I want too. I want you for the rest of my life, in each and every life time.”

Winter was extremely cold this year; in fact, the local weatherman claimed that it was one of the coldest winters your town experienced in the last twenty years. Although winter was your favorite season from the time you were a little girl, the last couple of years haven’t been the best for you and you no longer felt the need to celebrate any holiday; you no longer felt the holiday spirit. 

You hated that you no longer felt like decorating your place with Halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas decorations, you hated not going over to your parent’s house to celebrate and you were upset with the fact that you’d find yourself turning off any kind of Christmas song as soon as it would play on the radio. As the days got colder, so did your heart. 

Two years ago, you had made so many plans for the winter break. You wanted to go ice skating with your friends, Christmas caroling with your family, snow boarding with Mark and his family and setting up a Christmas tree for the first time in your apartment. Your enthusiasm for anything and everything and just your life in general all changed once Mark went away. 

Right after Mark graduated with his bachelor’s degree, he took no time in applying to all the best engineering schools all throughout the world. You were extremely supportive of anything and everything that Mark wanted to do and accomplish, which is why you tried your best to hide the fact that you were bothered with the idea of him no longer being with you. It would be selfish of you to try and stop him, but deep down you were afraid of what was going to happen to your relationship and you had every right to be.

If you knew then what you know now, you would’ve ended things with him completely before letting him play with both your heart and your mind from miles away. When he found out he got accepted to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, you put on the fakest smile possible and threw him a congratulations party surrounded by both your families and a few of your mutual friends. 

Not only was he going to college almost 4,000 miles away, but you didn’t know when the next time you were going to see him was. Mark made sure to spend every single moment up until the day he had to fly out with you and he promised you each and every day that the two of you were going to be okay. That your love was enough to withstand any amount of distance and time difference. For the first few months, it worked out perfectly. Although it would be morning where he was and night time where you were, you both made it work. 

If you couldn’t face time or call one another, you made sure to send text messages to each other and made sure to update each other with how life was going. It was extremely rough; seeing him through phone and computer screens wasn’t the same as having him with you but you took what you could get. Unfortunately, only three months of being away, Mark decided that a long distance relationship was too much for him to handle. 

He texted you one night and told you he couldn’t do it anymore. At first, you thought he was messing around; even if you knew deep down Mark would never joke around about something as serious as a breakup, but you didn’t want to believe he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with you. No matter how hard it was not having him around, you could handle it. 

What was a couple of years away from him, especially because you knew he’d come home to visit during the holidays, knowing that you were planning on spending the rest of your life with him? Something had to be up; there was no way he could give up on your relationship that easily. You begged and pleaded with him to genuinely think about what he was asking for; you called many times to the point where you felt as if he would block you. You tried reaching out to him on social media and you cried for the entire night. Hell, that entire week for you was filled with multiple bottles of red wine and hundreds of tissues on your kitchen floor. 

Right after sending that message and giving you one word responses, he stopped contacting you altogether. You’ve had your heart broken a couple of times; but nothing compared to the pain you felt when you came to the realization that Mark was no longer going to be in your life. Not only were you in the middle of losing your boyfriend, you were also losing your best friend and even if things were to settle down and you were to move on; if that were even possible, there was no way you could ever be friends with him again. Not when he practically ripped your heart out right out of your chest and stepped on it like it was nothing; like you were nothing. 

You screamed, cried and even broke a couple of things that he either owned or gave to you. You even had to quit your job and take a year off of school because you weren’t in the right mind to do anything. Losing Mark was a pain you didn’t think you would ever experience because of how well things were going between the two of you. Where did it all go wrong? Everything seemed to be fine just a few days prior to his heartbreaking messages. 

When did he decide that he no longer wanted to commit to you and your relationship? You stayed away from everyone you knew; your family, your friends, some classmates you’d talk to every now and then and even some of your coworkers. Not only were you unable to get out of bed every morning, but you could no longer think or feel nor did you have the energy to eat anything. To some outsiders, you’d be considered pathetic. Why would you let something so silly like a break up wreck your entire life? You had so much going for you; why would you allow a boy to do that to you? 

But then again, Mark wasn’t just any ordinary boy. He was the love of your life, your safe haven, your best friend. He’s all you’ve ever known and wanted to know for the rest of your life. A month after the breakup, you finally allowed yourself to get out of bed and out of your apartment. It was difficult, but you knew that moping around wouldn’t do you any good. You even began to let your friends in family back in to your life. Since you didn’t want anyone pitying you or worrying about your mental and physical health, you decided to keep the breakup to yourself. 

If anybody found out; which you were sure some of your mutual friends would, then you’d let them know that it was okay even if you were on the verge of a mental breakdown almost every single day. When your friends BamBam and Yugyeom came over to spend time with you, Yugyeom made the mistake in blurting our that Mark was seeing someone. If you thought the breakup was already bad enough, hearing that Mark was in a relationship not too long after your breakup felt like a stab to both your back and your heart. It made you wonder, was he cheating on you? 

Did he realize that there were other women out there that he could actually be around? Was he that lonely that he needed love from anyone he could get possible? Did he really give up thirteen years of a friendship and relationship for someone he probably just met? It made you question so many different things and brought up so many insecurities. Did he fall out of love with you and if so, when? Was everything he told you months before he left a lie? 

Did you really mean that little to him that he didn’t care what would happen to the two of you? You hated him. Never in your life did you would be without Mark. Even before the two of you started dating, you’d always plan out your futures together and he’s told you on multiple occasions that he wanted your houses right next door to each other’s so he could see you every day. You wanted to fly up to Massachusetts and punch him in the face, but what good would that do? 

It wouldn’t bring him back to you; wouldn’t change his mind about his decision. If he really loved you, you would’ve been the only girl he’d see himself with and the thought of dating someone else would kill him. If he wanted a break to focus on school, then you’d give it to him. But now, knowing that he was in a relationship with someone else, you wanted nothing more than to remove him completely from your life and you did��or at least tried to. 

For the next two years, you were in and out of relationships and at one point, you gave up on any sort of relationship whether it was sexual or platonic completely. Nobody could ever compare to Mark and the way he loved you. Nor would you be able to love anyone or care for anyone the way you did with Mark. He had a hold on your heart; his name, his memories, his touch, his kisses, his handsome face and kind-hearted personality would be forever tattooed on your soul and you didn’t think they would ever be removed anytime soon. 

It was almost 2 in the morning and you were sitting on your couch watching reruns of Friends. For some odd reason, you couldn’t find it in yourself to fall asleep. Normally, you’d be exhausted from both work and school, especially because you were taking up extra classes to make up for the semester you took off. However, you’ve been trying for hours to get your well deserved rest and just accepted the fact that sleep would find you when your entire body was ready to do so. 

As much as you loved the show, it no longer made you laugh like it used to and it was probably because it was both your’s and Mark’s favorite show to watch together. In fact, you went through all ten seasons in less than a month to the point where you memorize many of the lines. This episode in particular was one of your favorites. Not only was it extremely funny, but Mark even re-enacted the scene where Joey goes and puts on multiple layers of Chandler’s outfits. 

It’s been a while since you thought of Mark and thankfully your friends knew not to bring him up, but as the episode went on you couldn’t help but wonder how he was doing. Luckily on most days, you were too caught up in both your studies and your work to even think about him but now that you had free time, your curiosity was getting the best of you. How was he doing? Did he already graduate from college? Was he still dating that girl? Did he have plans on staying in Massachusetts? 

You released a frustrated grunt and changed the episode; you couldn’t handle the over thinking and you were sure you’d end up not getting any sleep at all if you continued wondering about your ex-boyfriend. One more episode later and you found yourself finally falling asleep. Before you could completely drift off though, there was a soft knock on your front door that caught your attention. 

At first you just assumed your mind was playing tricks on you and that you were hallucinating, but the knocking continued for a few moments and although you hated being rude, whoever was outside must have known what time it was so they should already know there was a huge chance you were sleeping. When the doorbell rang, you released an exasperated sigh and took a couple of moments to get in touch with reality before getting up and making your way to see who was so desperate for your attention at such an ungodly hour. 

You had a feeling it was either BamBam or Jackson on one of their drunken stupors; this wouldn’t be the first time they showed up on your porch drunk off their asses. You never understood why they’d come over to your house out of all places at at one point you felt that they were secretly giving your address to their Uber drivers because they could trust you to take care of them. Since you were so out of it, you didn’t take the time to look in the peephole and as soon as you opened your door to see who it was, you really wish you did. 

It’s been over two years since you last saw or heard from him and you’ve tried your best to completely push the thought of him and your many years together to the back of your mind. If you were exhausted before opening the door, you were wide awake now and without even thinking, you attempted to slam the door out of reaction to seeing him again. However, Mark had faster reflexes and pushed the door before you could close it entirely. 

Everything was happening so fast and your mind was still trying to process his presence. What was he doing there? When did he get back home? Why was he at your place so early in the morning? How did he know where you lived? You weren’t sure what kind of expression you had on your face, but you knew you probably didn’t look too pleased to see him. 

But it was only natural and what did he expect after what he did to you? For you to welcome him with open arms as if the last two years didn’t exist? Did he really forget the kind of person you were? During your relationship, he knew you weren’t a force to be reckoned with whether or not he was your boyfriend so now that he was standing outside on your porch for God knows what reason, he had to know that you no longer wanted anything to do with him. 

“Y/n—“

“Don’t start with me. What the hell are you doing here Mark?”

Seeing him after two years was pulling both your heart and mind in to multiple directions. You were so confused. Your mind wanted him gone, away from you and your house but your heart wanted nothing more than to invite him inside and see what he was there for. It was if Mark aged backwards; if anything, he looked even younger and more handsome than the last night you saw him and you despised the fact that he was having such a strong effect on your heart. You might have thought you hated him before, but that was because he wasn’t around for you to really feel anything towards him. 

Seeing him after two years of being away from him was slowly driving you insane. Why did he have to come back after practically ruining your entire life? It was like he was really out to wreck your entire being. Like he got off of being the reason behind your destruction. When he brought his hand up to the back of his neck and scratched it out of habit, you let out a laugh of disbelief. You’ve known him for more than half of your life; you knew what each and every one of his ministrations meant. 

He was either nervous, worried or both. You caught on to this habit the first time he took you out on a date. Even if he’s known you and your family for so long, he was so afraid to ask your dad for permission to date his little girl. He scratched the back of his neck every time your dad brought up having you home by 10 that night and to not even think about taking things further than a peck on the cheek. At the time it was the cutest thing ever but thinking about the memory now made your stomach sore. 

“I uh—I’m sorry for bothering you and I know you’re probably going to freak out when I tell you  this—but I—I made a huge mistake in breaking up with you and I’m so fucking sorry y/n.” It was if time froze in that moment. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He regrets the breakup and he’s sorry? It’s been over two years, why all of a sudden did he think it was okay for him to come back after all the heartbreak he put you through? What did he expect was going to happen? 

Did he think you’d welcome him back with open arms and start off from where the two of you ended things? Life didn’t work out that way. He couldn’t have you when it was beneficial for him and what was really upsetting you, was knowing that there was a chance you’d allow him to fix things. Mark never did any wrong in your eyes even if he practically ruined your entire being. When he first ended your relationship, you wanted to believe he had a good reason as to why he did so. You just couldn’t believe his shit excuse of a reason and after hearing that he got in to another relationship, it just answered your many questions. 

If this was under different circumstances, you’d slap him right across of his face for even thinking he had a right to be at your house right now giving you poor apology. The laugh that fell from your lips both confused and worried Mark. It was obvious that your breakup had a huge toll on you. You lost over twenty pounds, you no longer put effort in to your appearance and you just looked more fragile and broken and Mark never hated himself more than he did in that moment knowing this was all his fault. He didn’t mean for things to go this far; couples broke up all the time but it just showed him how much he must’ve meant to you. 

“That’s a joke right? You’re fucking with me right now—look Mark I don’t have time for this bullshit right now I have work in the morning. I’m tired and I made a pact with myself to never get involved with you ever again. You can take your apology and shove it up your ass.” 

You weren’t a stranger to seeing Mark cry; he cried the night before he left at the thought of not getting to see you anymore. He cried every now and then when school got too much for him to handle, he cried during Christopher Robin when Pooh couldn’t find his friends, he cried when his grandmother passed away and although the two of you hardly ever fought, there were some arguments that caused him to tear up. 

But you weren’t expecting to see him get all worked up over your breakup especially because he was the one to initiate it and because it’s been so long. Unfortunately, you could feel your heart growing heavy at his defeated posture and as much as you wanted to keep up your angry facade, it just didn’t feel right to be so harsh towards him. Even after all the negativity he put you through mentally and physically. 

“Mark—“

“I know. I shouldn’t be here. I know it’s probably too late and I’m completely aware that you hate me. I can’t blame you, I’d hate me too. There aren’t any excuses for what I did to you and for everything you had to suffer through because of me and I don’t know what made me come here tonight I just—fuck. I’ve missed you so much y/n. I know that’s going to be hard to believe, especially because we’ve been broken up for over two years now but I need you to understand that these last two years without you, on top of the four months we were still together while I was away were the worst years of my life. There aren’t enough words to describe how sorry I am and how much I hate myself for giving up on us so easily. I thought about you every single day. I wondered how you were doing, if our breakup affected you in any way, if you missed me the way I couldn’t stop missing you, if you moved on, if you finally graduated. I know it was my fault that I no longer knew anything and the guys—they refused to update me on anything. Hell, they stopped contacting me and I only ever heard from them if I started the conversation first.” 

You released a snicker before crossing your arms in frustration. One thing that was so convenient about your relationship with Mark was that you had the same circle of friends. It was easier that way. Although Mark knew of them first and he was the reason why you became friends with them, they always seemed to show favoritism towards you. You were like a younger sister to them and you saw them practically every single day. 

In fact, they were the reasons why you didn’t end up losing yourself completely after Mark ended things with you. Jackson and BamBam made sure that you were eating and drinking enough liquids to keep your body from becoming malnourished. Jinyoung tried his best to help you with your studies so that you wouldn’t fail and Jaebeom even stayed with you at your apartment to keep you company. Honestly, you don’t know what you did to deserve any of them, but you were extremely grateful for all that they’ve done for you. It wasn’t surprising to hear that they were so hostile towards him. 

The minute Jinyoung saw his post about his new girlfriend, he wanted to get on the next plane to Massachusetts and knock some sense in to him. He, along with the rest of your friends saw how much damage the breakup caused you and they hated that he did such an unexpected thing to you. 

“Do they know you’re back? How long have you been back for? Is that why you came to see me? Are you here to stay permanently? Is that why you came here to try and apologize? Did you think I was going to forget about everything I had to go through when you broke up with me? You were a fucking coward Mark. You couldn’t even break up with me over the phone, you texted me such a pathetic excuse—what? Did you think that I would take you back so quickly because of our past together? Because we’ve known each other for so long and been through so much together? Did you think I wouldn’t hear about your relationship? From what I heard, you seemed to really like her. So what happened? Did the thrill expire? You got to experience other women and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t what you wanted? Do you know just how much shit you put me through once you decided you no longer wanted to be with me? I blamed myself for our breakup. You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. That I wasn’t worth waiting for. Are you not man enough to handle a long distance relationship? Couldn’t handle not having your dick wet for more than a few months? I’m not who I used to be Mark. You ruined me. You broke me. I don’t know what you expected after coming here tonight, but I have no intention on taking you back.” 

The longer you watched him react to your words, you could feel a stab to your chest at each quiver of his lip and furrow of his brow. You hated that you could see the twelve year old boy you developed a crush on all those years ago in his eyes. You hated that you felt sorry for him. He probably went through a lot to find out where you lived and you were mentally cursing whoever gave him your address. But if he went through all that trouble especially if he knew he’d probably get shit from your friends for trying to look for you, you had to give him credit for that. 

“I—I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry y/n. I’ll leave. I just—She was a mistake—and our relationship didn’t last long. I know—you probably don’t want to hear it. She just helped fill the void of your absence and I didn’t even like her. She just took my mind off of the distance. She gave me the attention you never failed to give me. I meant for it to be just a friendship and I didn’t break up with you to be with her. I couldn’t handle being away from you and if I could go back in the past, I would’ve stayed and went to college here. I would’ve done anything to keep our relationship what it was. You were—you are the best thing that ever happened to me y/n. Hell, I’d prevent the breakup from happening if I could. I don’t expect anything from you, I really don’t. But I’m still so in love with you and I probably always will be. You’re my soulmate y/n. It took this breakup for me to realize that there’s nobody else for me in this entire world. It’s you. You’re it for me and I’m so mad at myself for not realizing how lucky I was to have you until I fucked it all up and lost you. Even if you decide that there’s no chance for me to come back in to your life. Goodnight y/n. Take care.” 

You don’t know what came over you, but seeing him walk away hurt more than the actual breakup itself. You remembered having to go in to therapy because of how the breakup messed with your head. The thought of having to seek therapy because of something you considered to be so stupid made you feel pathetic. Your therapist was a very kind and soft-spoken older woman. She did her best to help you with moving on and had you do all kinds of things to take your mind off of Mark and what could’ve been. 

However, the only thing you could’ve done without was how she would indirectly tell you that you were too young to know what love was. To know what heartbreak was. She insinuated that you were too young to really know what a real heartbreak felt like and that you were a fool for letting someone like Mark ruin you but she didn’t know anything other than what you told her. 

She didn’t know how Mark was your best friend before he was your boyfriend. She didn’t know how he made you feel as if you were the most beautiful and most important person in the entire world. She didn’t know that you spent almost your entire life with him by your side. She didn’t know what your relationship was like and how you were willing to give up anything and everything in your possession if it meant getting to spend the rest of your life with him. Who was she to say you were too young to know what love actually was? How old did you have to be to know what love was? 

You fell in love with Mark before you learned algebra. You fell in love with him before you knew what love even was, but he made it known that he reciprocated those same feelings for you. The two of you were only fourteen when you realized that your feelings for Mark were more than what one should feel for their best friend, but you weren’t all that young to realize the effect Mark had on your heart. The sudden memory of your therapy sessions made you want to let him continue walking away; you meant it when you said you no longer wanted anything to do with him and that he was in your past and you had every intention in keeping him there. But you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t still love him. 

No matter how much you wanted to hate him and how long it’s been since he’s been gone, you could never forget your first love. Nor could you let that many years of a friendship go down the drain even if he did it so easily. You’ve always felt like you loved Mark more than he loved you, but that was only because you’d say it more than he did. Mark was never a man of words, he was a man of actions and he never failed to show you he loved you with his actions. He didn’t have to come here tonight; he could’ve left things just the way they were. He didn’t have to say it, you knew he still loved you, which is why you weren’t surprised when you called out his name right before he could completely be out of sight. 

“It’s late. I don’t want you driving right now. It’s dangerous. You can—sleep on the couch.” The small smirk that rose on his face didn’t go unnoticed by you, even if he tried to cover it up as soon as he did it and it made your heart leap at the sight. You were a fool for the beautiful man in front of you and although it would take a while for you to forgive him, you were willing to see where things were going to go between you both. If he were to come back months ago, you probably would’ve gave in to him the minute you opened the door but because you were stronger now, you were going to let your mind make the decisions for you. 

“It’s fine y/n. Thank you for the offer, but I don’t think it’s a good idea—“

“Neither do I, but there’s a tiny voice inside my head telling me to ask you to stay. I won’t force you to, and don’t think that this means anything. But the offers there on the table if you want it.” 

You walked back in to your house and didn’t even see whether or not he was following behind you; but once you heard footsteps on your wooden floor as the door closed, you released a sigh of relief. 

“Nice place—when did you buy it?” You shrugged indifferently as you prepared the couch for him to sleep on. 

“Five months ago. Jaebeom actually lived with me for a while but I accidentally kissed him one night when I was drunk off of my ass and we decided that it was best for our friendship that he lived somewhere else.” 

Although you weren’t looking at him, you were sure he probably wasn’t too happy to hear about you and Jaebeom. Mark was an extremely jealous, overprotective and possessive boyfriend. During your relationship, he was very vocal about how he didn’t like that Jackson would be so touchy towards you and how he didn’t like the way BamBam would try and hold your hand even if it was all in good fun. He also made it known that he was jealous of your friendship with Jaebeom because he felt as if the younger boy harbored feelings for you. 

Mark might have been your boyfriend, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t develop feelings for anyone else and he was afraid of losing you to his friend. When you turned around to see his reaction, you smiled softly to yourself once you saw his clenched fists and tightened jaw. You wanted him to feel what you felt the minute you found out he was seeing someone knew. You loved how jealous Mark could get; it proved how much he loved you and how afraid he was to lose you. 

“How did you even find out where I live? I’m sure none of the guys told you. They know not to even if I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think you’d come back home and even if you did, I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me anyway.” He took a seat on your couch and you couldn’t help but imagine what life would’ve been like if the two of you stuck together. You never voiced your thoughts to him about living together, but there were times when you’d stay over at his apartment and your heart would crave getting to go to sleep next to him instead of having to go back to your apartment each morning you stayed the night before. 

You couldn’t get over how much he fit in with everything and you soon grew curious about what living with him would be like but it was too late for you to crave for or even think about things like that. You didn’t want to make the situation more awkward than it already was, so you took a seat at your makeshift bar in the kitchen to give yourself a good amount of distance away from him. 

“Your mom gave it to me. I was hesitant on even trying to get in touch with her, but I needed to find you. I needed to talk to you. I came here as soon as I landed. I didn’t even think about the consequences or the fact that you didn’t want to see me. I needed to see you again. Your mom talked to me as if nothing was wrong and she told me to tell you that we should gather with our families and have dinner together. Did you not tell her about us?” You shook your head and refused to look at him in case he were to give you an expression you weren’t ready for. 

“I don’t know why, but I had a gut feeling that you were going to come back to me one day; or at least I hoped and I prayed that you would. I didn’t want to ruin her opinion of you. My mom thinks the world of you Mark. If she were to find out what you put me through, she would’ve cut off all ties with you and made sure I’d never talk to you again. You know she is. You saw how she was with all my exes and a few of my friends. I was afraid of her doing the same with you and I don’t know why. You deserve it, but I don’t know I guess my heart just wanted to believe that one day you’d come to your senses and realize that you still loved me. It fucking sucked every single time she brought you up in a conversation and talked about us getting married not knowing that we were no longer a couple. Sometimes I forgot that I kept lying to her and it almost slipped that I haven’t talked to you in years. I’m surprised your mom didn’t tell her, they go out for lunch one a week.”

“I didn’t tell my mom either. I didn’t think it was anyone else’s business but our own. I knew shit would go down if she knew, and I didn’t want her pestering you while I wasn’t there to stop her. Wait, so—you um—do you still—can you see us getting back together again? I have no right in asking you such a stupid question but you must still want me if you have yet to tell your mom.” 

Honestly, you didn’t know how to respond. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him and that you didn’t want to rekindle your relationship. But that was before he showed up tonight asking you for forgiveness. And you knew you’d never be able to forget what he did even if you did forgive him. Looking at him, you knew you still loved him but you weren’t too sure if you wanted to give him another chance. You’ve worked so hard to get to where you were mentally. Were you really going to let months of therapy, drinking multiple bottles of red wine and finding yourself in bars and clubs trying to get over him go to waste? 

Instead of responding, you made your way to your room to get him some clothes and to give yourself a minute to process the entire situation. You still couldn’t believe that he was there in your house sitting on your couch nor could you even fathom the fact that you were allowing him to stay. What had gotten in to you? If any of your friends were to find out what you were doing, they would be extremely disappointed. 

There was a time that the guys would fight over who would be the best man at your wedding and everyone knew that the two of you were practically made for one another. However, as soon as Mark made the decision to end your relationship, all of your friends looked at him in a different light. If he handle the break up the right way and explained himself, then maybe they would be a little more understanding. He made things even worse when he jumped into another relationship making it seem as if the breakup didn’t phase him at all. 

When you reentered the living room and handed him the sweats and a baggy t-shirt, he quietly thanked you before immediately taking off his shirt. You turned around to prevent yourself from looking at him; during your relationship you would always find yourself staring at your boyfriend in disbelief. For someone with such a skinny frame, he had a nice physique and over the years, he became even more built and if you could see how defined his biceps were with a shirt on, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself when he took it off. 

Although you were mad at him and just this entire situation, you were only human and Mark was always the most attractive man in your eyes. His soft chuckle did wonders on your heart and once you turned around, you wanted to slap the cocky smirk that was now on his face. 

“What’s so funny?” He shrugged. 

“I don’t know why you’re so shy, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” You playfully rolled your eyes at his comment although, if you had the choice you would definitely continue looking. 

“Whatever. Goodnight Mark. My room is right down the hall if you need me. But, try not to.” You began returning to your room until you heard him whisper something you were sure you wouldn’t have heard if you took a few more steps. 

“Please don’t give up on us.” You decided not to make it known that you heard him and that his words were making a mess of your mind the longer they repeated in your head. He was right; it was a bad idea to ask him to stay over. 

He hasn’t even been in your house for half an hour and you were already on the verge of crying. This was all too much for you to take in and you were afraid of what was going to happen in the morning. Your heart was racing a mile a minute and your mind was filled with thoughts of Mark and everything the two of you have been through. Thankfully, it didn’t take too long for sleep to take over and soon you were off in dreamland.

“Mark—get over here! Ugh, it was the guys’ idea to come out tonight and they’re the ones who got you piss drunk so why am I having to suffer trying to take care of you?” 

Today was the last day of finals and to celebrate, Jackson suggested the eight of you go out drinking. You should’ve tried harder to coerce Mark in to staying home, but the older boy needed this well deserved break just like the rest of his friends did. Since he took his last final today, you knew he wanted to relax and let loose and who better to celebrate with than your girlfriend and your six best friends? Anyone who knew your boyfriend was completely aware of how much of a lightweight he was. 

Drink after drink, your friends; Jackson and BamBam in particular kept sending beers and shots of vodka Mark’s way and before any of you could think about the negative outcome of Mark taking down soju bombs, his high pitch laughter echoed throughout the bar and you felt embarrassed when you saw practically everyone’s eyes turn towards your table. Mark would not stop laughing to the top of his lungs. This always happened whenever the older boy had a little too much to drink. Normally he was good with his alcohol intake but tonight was a whole other story. 

He didn’t want to seem like a weakling in front of the guys and that’s why you hated going out with your friends whenever alcohol was involved. Jackson and BamBam were infamous for talking the rest of the guys in to drinking till they threw up and because Mark never backed down from a challenge, it normally got him in to a lot of trouble. You decided that it was time for the two of you to go home and when you asked the guys for help, they immediately brought Mark outside and said their goodbyes, but none of them offered to take him home. 

However, they were all pretty drunk off of their asses and you were sure they only invited you out because they knew Mark would get home safely with you around. One of the only things you could do without when it came to Mark was how clumsy and touchy he could get when he was plastered. You called for a taxi and tried your best to hold him up but he kept tripping on nothing and he even ended up falling to the ground and pulling you with him. 

“Mark! What the hell?!”

“Shit I’m sorry baby—why are we on the floor y/n it’s dirty—“ Once all the guys were to get over their hangovers, you knew they wouldn’t hear the end of it. Mark was leaving in less than a month and this was not the way you wanted to spend your last few days with him. 

“I love you y/n. I love you so much—y/nnnnn—you’re so beautiful baby—so pretty—I love youuuuuu-“ You couldn’t help but giggle no matter how frustrated you were with him; he was such a child at heart and it was even more prominent every time he would drink. 

“Mark, stop. You’re drunk.”

“And you’re extremely sexy—what? I’m just stating facts. Baby, say it back. Tell me you love me.”

“Mark—“

“Please. I need you to say that you love me. Don’t forget about me when I leave—please. I’ve been debating on leaving for the longest time—I can’t lose you y/n—you—you’re all—everything—all that I need—to me.” 

His words were slurred, but each word sent a pang of hurt to your chest. He sounded so genuine and even if there was a chance he wouldn’t remember anything in the morning, you knew there was no way you would ever forget the gut wrenching look in his eyes as he begged you not to give up on him. Instead of answering; especially because you were so close to crying at his heartfelt words, you pulled him in to a fleeting kiss. 

Although all you could taste on his lips was the cheap tequila and salt that was on the rim of his shot glass, you found yourself melting at the sensation of his soft lips against yours. This kiss was different than most of the ones shared between the two of you. While most of his kisses were rough and passionate; as if the world were to end and he needed to prove to you how much he loved you each and every single time, this kiss was softer, gentler in a way you were quite used to. 

Especially because Mark’s dominant side came out whenever he was under the influence but you weren’t complaining. It’s as if you could feel what he wanted to say through the kiss. To your dismay, he pulled away right as he began shoving his tongue down your throat and the whimper that fell from your lips made him giggle in to the crook of your neck. 

“I wanna show you exactly what you mean to me. Tonight. Are you alright with that?” If this was any other time, you would’ve said no although sex with Mark whenever one of you were drunk was always such a fun and wild experience. Even more so when both of you had a little too much to drink; but because the time for him to leave was just right around the corner, you wanted to have him to yourself as much as you possibly could. You nodded against his chest and leaned your cheek right against his heart. 

“Hearts are a funny thing don’t you think? Some people say hearts are the reason why we’re alive, but that’s because they haven’t met you. You’re the reason for my existence baby, don’t you dare forget it.” You playfully rolled your eyes and scoffed as you tightened your grip around his lower back. 

“How is it that you’re drunk as hell yet so fucking cheesy. Only you Mark Tuan.” He gave you a wide grin before letting you out from his embrace and tipsily running in to the street. Your eyes practically jumped out of your head at his sudden movement and you made your way towards him. How could someone have so much energy with all that alcohol in their system?

“Mark, get over here! Are you crazy?”

“Yeah, crazy for you! Dance with me y/n.” As silly as he looked, flailing his arms back and forth like a bird, you didn’t want to have to end up in the emergency room because of his drunken antics. He was quick to pout when you tugged at his wrist and pulled him back in to the sidewalk, but he allowed you to do so. Mark might have not been completely there, but he knew not to upset you. Finally after what felt like hours, the taxi driver pulled up to you and your boyfriend and you all but gently forced Mark in to the taxi. 

As you gave the driver directions back to Mark’s apartment and helped buckle him in, he rested his head on your shoulder. He intertwined your fingers together and stole a chaste kiss from the corner of your mouth while murmuring a quiet apology against your lips. Once the driver dropped you both off to Mark’s apartment structure, it took you almost fifteen minutes to drag him up to his unit. 

He fell asleep not too long after you drove off from the bar and you released the longest sigh of relief as soon as you opened his door. You continued the trek to his room and plopped him on to the bed with intentions of changing out of your dress. 

So much for drunk sex. 

You tried your best to remove your make up and change in to one of his shirts as fast as you possibly could in order to make sure he was still breathing, but you had nothing to worry about when you walked back in to his room. He was out like a light. You decided to leave him be, he’d just have to deal with his hungover state once he woke up in the morning. You turned off the lights and found your place next to him. 

Out of habit, you pulled him in to your body and left soft kisses along his face. These last few weeks have been some of the hardest weeks of your entire life and you tried to lie to yourself thinking it was because of school. But deep down you knew it was because Mark was leaving. There was nothing you could say or do to stop him; well, you knew if you were to ask him to stay he would. However, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself knowing you were the reason Mark didn’t get to follow and achieve his dreams. 

“I’m not going anywhere Mark. I’m yours. Forever.” Not too long after that dream, more memories from your past with Mark began popping up in your mind; but why now? It wasn’t like you’ve never dreamt about him since the breakup, but it seemed as if your heart was trying to pressure you in to taking him back. Memories of your first date and how Mark sneaking stole a kiss from your lips as the two of you were eating ice cream to the first time you made love with one another replayed over and over and you wanted to scream. 

You could still hear him whispering sweet nothings in to your ear while he loved on each and every one of your body parts. You could still remember the way he would touch you as if you were a masterpiece. He never failed to make you feel like the most beautiful and ethereal human being in the entire world with just his touch alone. The next dream was one that you had no memory of and you couldn’t put your finger to where you were. 

All you saw were white walls and a bunch of balloons tied to flower baskets. It was then that you heard a soft cry of a baby and when you looked down, there was the most breathtaking little infant in your hands. As you caressed the baby’s cheek, you felt someone running their fingers through your hair and when you looked up, you saw Mark looking at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. 

This was all you ever wanted from the beginning of your relationship with Mark. To settle down and start a family with him. To have little Marks or mini versions of yourself running around your house. To go on family trips, have family game nights and spend as much time with your little family. As quickly as that dream came, it went with a snap of your finger. 

This last dream was more of a nightmare and although you were fast asleep, you remembered this memory as if it was yesterday. Dropping off Mark to the airport. It had to be one of the worst days of your life. Not only did the car ride feel extremely long, but as soon as you walked with his family and your group of friends to his gate, you felt like you were going to throw up. 

“Hey, don’t cry y/n. I’ll be back. In the mean time baby, take good care of yourself for me please? God, what am I going to do without you? I love you y/n. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ll call you as soon as I land. I expect five pictures a day of your beautiful self. It won’t be long until you’re back in my arms again. Until then baby.” 

That was the last time you shared a kiss together; the last time you hugged him and felt his warm embrace. The arms that once were your home was now just a memory. As you watched him walk through security, the cries fell from the back of your throat and you didn’t even realize you sank to your knees until BamBam and Jinyoung joined you on the ground. 

You stood up and attempted to run towards him, but soon the dream changed and you were in the dark. You couldn’t see anything and you felt so scared. This is what your life felt like without Mark. Scary. Pitch black. Empty. Unnerving. 

You ran in circles and began screaming; however, you were no longer dreaming and it became adamant that you were now wide awake and so was the man who was haunting your dreams. Feeling his hands grip at your arms as he started to shake you felt foreign. It’s been so long since he’s touched you, and this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you’d think about having Mark’s hands on you again. You couldn’t see him, nor could you hear him but you were sure he was yelling and trying to break you out of your little breakdown. 

“Y/n, hey, wake up y/n. Y/n, it’s just a dream. Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m here, shhh—come here.” You didn’t have the strength or energy to push him away and allowed him to pick you up and rock you back and forth. Since you were still in such a haze, you didn’t even feel the gentle kiss he left on your forehead but you knew that you loved being back in his arms and you were sure you’d allow him to hold you even if you came to your senses. 

After a couple of moments and giving yourself the chance to recollect your thoughts, you sat up and got off from his lap; making your way back to your previous spot in bed. You turned around to face him yet you couldn’t look directly at him. He’d know what you were probably freaking out over just by the expression in your eyes and you refused to let him know that he was still on your mind even after all this time. 

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes; you had nothing to say yet Mark wanted to spill everything. He wanted you to know how much he regrets leaving you, how he wishes he just stayed back if it meant the two of you would still be together, how hearing you scream made his heart sink to his chest and how he didn’t hesitate to run in and check to see if you were okay even if you were to push him away. 

“Are you—are you okay?” When you didn’t say anything, he took that as his sign to leave but right as he began to stand up, you did the unthinkable. It was probably your heart acting for you, but as soon as you felt his lips melding in to yours, you felt your body go up in flames. He didn’t hesitate to kiss back as soon as you brought your lips up to his and he was quick to bring you on to his lap as if the two of weren’t apart for the last two years. 

His lips felt foreign yet all too familiar and you allowed yourself to continue giving in to him. There weren’t any red flags going off in your mind as you thought there would be and you knew that this time was different. Those dreams awoken something inside of you. After getting to experience what your future with Mark would be like, you didn’t want to  spend a future with anyone else other than the beautiful man who was currently kissing you as if his life depended on it. 

It was going to take a while for you to forgive him, but you were willing to give him another chance. It was Mark for crying out loud. You would do anything he asked of you, no matter how stubborn and prideful you were. He pulled away when he felt things were getting too heavy and placed his forehead against yours. You both took some time to catch your breath and he placed his forehead against yours while reaching for your hand.

“Y/n—“

“No. Not right now. We’ll talk in the morning. I want to go back to sleep.” 

He nodded in understanding and allowed you to climb off of his lap. He brushed some of your hair back and gently pinched your cheek as a sign of affection that he used to do to you all the time. Since he didn’t know what you were feeling or thinking in that moment, he intended to make his way back in to the living room but you had other plans. When he felt you reach for his hand and pulled him back in to bed with you, he couldn’t stop the cheeky smile that rose on his face and you wanted nothing more than to kiss that stupid smile away. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I thought you’d want to be alone.” You let out a quick scoff before wrapping your arms around his neck and leaving a soft kiss on his jaw. 

“Well you thought wrong asshole. Don’t go.” His laughter echoed throughout the room causing butterflies to erupt in your tummy. You knew when the guys were to find out what had happened tonight that there was a chance they’d be upset with you, but you didn’t care. Everyone and their mothers knew just how much Mark meant to you and you’d be stupid to push him out of your life forever. You’d sort things out in the morning but for right now, you were going to allow things to progress with the two of you. This was the first time in years that you felt safe and genuinely happy right before you went to sleep and you knew it had everything to do with Mark. As your eyes began to close, his last few words made your heart flutter. 

“You have nothing to worry about baby. I’m here to stay.”

But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends I, I knew you Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes, I And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite To kiss in cars and downtown bars Was all we needed You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleeding 'Cause I knew you Stepping on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain, I I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy I, I knew you Leaving like a father Running like water, I When you are young, they assume you know nothing But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasing shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standing in my front porch light And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite

[heavencasteel420]

Steve, Tommy, Carol, and (I think?) Billy being one year older than Nancy, Jonathan, Robin, etc. has caused me NO END of problems in plotting fic. For example:

I just realized that, in Tonight, Tonight, I made Steve, Tommy, and Carol seniors in fall 1985, when they would have graduated in spring 1985. So then I had to choose between making them all high school graduates who have moved on (like, Steve could definitely still be dating Nancy in that scenario but he wouldn't be hanging out with her in the local Tragedy House with his buddies, so the whole first chapter is different), making them all high school graduates who haven't moved on (doable, maybe? But that would require either making Barb's disappearance a lot more impactful to them as a group, which means Nancy is in a really different place, or creating separate reasons which would probably be too busy), and changing the setting to fall 1984 (which means Nancy and Jonathan are both dealing with much rawer trauma, but they are the main characters of the fic so that seems like a better avenue to go down, and also it might actually make more sense with how I planned the dynamics between Jonathan and his New Jersey relatives). I did choose the third option ultimately.

I have an idea for a no-Upside-Down fic that's basically Nancy, Jonathan, Mike, and Will dealing with the conflicts I think they might've had in the absence of all that death and supernatural horror, and (for plot reasons) it bugs me so much that Mike can't be in high school at the same time as Carol.

I've had a couple Stonathan ideas where there's no Upside Down and Steve and Jonathan both end up at the same state college (Steve makes it because his academic/athletic performance is better when he's not dealing with constant physical and psychological trauma; Jonathan's dealing with a more stable family situation so he feels like he can leave home, but nothing ever really changed at home to allow him to consider an out-of-state school as an option). And it would be so much simpler for the set-up of these fics (as I conceive them) if Steve graduated the same year as Nancy and she broke up with him right around graduation before going to a different college.

[laryna6]

One of those ‘A Christmas Carol’-based fics with Saotome Eiji.

Kyousuke’s dad appearing warning of the demons of the Sanzu river and the measuring of karma that awaits the dead, and Saotome going ‘I must have fallen asleep/that’s a foreign Buddhist thing’ because of the... heavy pushing of a... propagandized version of Shinto as part of Japanese nationalism building up to WWII.

Instead of Christmas it’s Obon (a festival of Buddist/Confucian origin) ofc.

To fit with ‘the idea that people have to earn the right to live is effed up’ from the original, perhaps as a child he was sent to an orphanage bc his family couldn’t feed him? The additional damage of not knowing who your ancestors were in a culture practicing ancestor worship.

Other students of psychic research inviting him to hang out at the university but he wanted to get an officer position in the army, so needing to avoid undesirable elements.

Saotome’s present day obon, Kyousuke who was raised in China being taught about Shinto because as a half-Chinese person on top of an esper in an era of nationalism... they worry about the kid and he might be safer if he do all the ‘I am a loyal subject of the emperor’ signaling. Two of the espers in the unit canonically come from traditional priesthood families and have OPINIONS about what these motherfucking nationalists are doing to corrupt and twist everyone’s spirituality and traditions and their sense of connection to their families and their people and the land. Making shinto priests government officials?!

Saotome going they’re not proper LoyalTM to the army and Japan

Spirit #2 going ‘was the army ever loyal to them?’

Fujiko and her father discussing how their family is nobility and the need for the nobiiity to give up power and instead bring about democracy if Japan was going to escape being conquered and exploited by imperialists like the countries around them.

Fujiko going ‘but the warrior classes all got positions in the military, and now we’re a military dictatorship and Japan has just become one more imperialist power, it’s disgusting and her father going absolutely, and discussion of duty to their ancestors and their country foreshadowing Fujiko making a choice that according to traditional morality and the noble code of conduct was ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLY HORRIBLY WRONG to the point of disgracing her entire family line because what kind of people could have produced a traitor like that... but because of it in the modern day Japan is the second least awful country in how it treats espers.

Then spirit #3, and Saotome going ‘I’ve seen the precogs, espers going to war with normals, Kyousuke betraying the country/me to serve a queen’

And then it’s the younger queen and two other girls going ‘Minamoto we want to go to a festival with you’ while a harried man basically shoos them out the door with a broom and goes ‘go! Your families want to see you! Here are your boxed lunches and snacks for the trip’ and the girls are espers who use their powers to get to their normal families. the queen and her big sister get in a wrestling match over the cookies and only belatedly realize their mom’s eaten them all while commentating while they dress for the festival. another girl and her normal father engage in some police brutality towards festival pickpockets as bonding. the third girl, at least, is traditional and proper even if she’s performing a ceremony that comes from non-Japanese origins (and yet... it’s still a tradition that ties them to their ancestors and the gods and who they are, and Shinto says that tradition is sacred, it doesn’t say that traditions that first came from outside aren’t sacred)

The man is following his mother around as she chatters with everyone and gets up to shenanigans at the festival. ‘Father couldn’t make it again’ mentioning a grandmother who used to stay with him at these. Looking up at the sparks rise above the fire to send the dead home, lonely even though he’s surrounded by people in his hometown... and then he gets tackled by the three girls demanding he take photos with them while they’re all in kimonos

And then it switches to someone announcing That Bastard is finally dead. Far from the land he was born, with no one in the country he served who cares to claim his body ‘so we should send someone to pretend to be a relative’ and someone declaring that this is now a formal meeting because while obviously they all want to desecrate his grave, they are going to do it in an organized fashion that reflects the gravity of his crimes and pays respects to his innocent victims and continuing victims of that bastard’s legacy of murder and hatred. Eggs and toilet paper are not up for discussion is said with a pointed look at another man, who whines ‘big bro!’

This is the most diverse group of people Saotome has ever seen, people from all over the world united in their hatred of someone who gets referred to with several different languages’ curse words.

And then someone walks in and goes ‘here you are, okay, what are you up to? I’ve been raising kids for half a century, I know that when you’re all quiet and busy somewhere you’re up to no good’ and it’s Kyousuke. The guy who went ‘big bro’ gets his ear twisted, and whines ‘dad!’

It’s revealed that ‘that bastard’ is someone who hurt Kyousuke, who they’re protective of like the unit is (he still looks so young...) but when he gets it out of them he’s no! and there is a whine of ‘dad! He shot you!’ ‘I know’ *bullet scar revealed* ‘I’m the one he shot, so I get to decide what to do with him’

Kyousuke lifting away a sheet to reveal a body old and twisted and crippled. And Saotome’s. Kyousuke is blank an solemn... and sad.

Going through the Shinsosai funeral rites, all foreign Buddhist influences removed as he would have wanted, and maybe there’s a reason the people of Japan for centuries were happy to have Buddhists to help them usher their families into the next world, because he can see the weight of the kegare on him, how Kyousuke mourns him, is the only one who mourns him. Eventually a woman who treats Kyousuke as both an embarrassing younger brother and as a respected father comes to help, to cheer him up, even though she despises Saotome too, for hurting him.

A picture of the unit, in Kyousuke’s family shrine. ‘Now everyone in this photograph but Fujiko is dead... He took my family from me, but he, too, was family.’

Then he grabbed the woman, teleported, and dragged her down with him into the ocean for purification.

...then Kyousuke goes to bully the man from before, who is arguing with the three girls about how yes, they are sleepy, Kaoru nearly flew them into the ground getting home, while making them all tea before he shoves them into their bedroom. When he turns around Kyousuke has stolen the cup that was supposed to be for him, and the man at first automatically raises his hackles, but then looks sympathetic.

Kyousuke looks away, annoyed and pouting, at sympathy from this person.

‘...If I try to comfort you you’re going to shove my head in the toilet again,’ the man says, getting himself another cup of tea.

‘Absolutely’ Kyousuke agrees.

Silence, and eventually Kyousuke says, ‘at first I thought you were his reincarnation, even though he would have been offended at the idea of him reincarnating. Then I found he was with the Comericans, had been since the war, and I thought, it would have been better if he was you. Not for the Queen. But for him. If I hadn’t failed to avenge my comrades back then, he could have moved on to a better life or the otherworld. Not been forced to live on a failure and a pawn in a foreign land, unable to return home. He was a proud man.’ Looking down at his tea, ‘when I met him again, he asked me to kill him.’

‘..in the precog, I know there’s a nuke on the way when I shoot Kaoru,’ the man says, and now Saotome knows where he’s seen him. ‘even though I want to kill her so she can’t leave again and I want it enough to kill her before she stops that nuke from destroying Tokyo, I still know that I have to die for this. I’m just getting the order wrong. I should die before I do that. Having to live with what I do in that precog would be a fate worse than death.’

‘That was why I erased his memories that day. He... there was no point in him continuing to suffer. None of us would have wanted that for him. I thought... didn’t he know our feelings? That we were loyal to him, that we didn’t mind dying for him? And then I saw that he truly didn’t recognize our feelings. Because he didn’t know what it looked like, to recognize when people truly cared for him. But he cared for us, and so when he thought that espers would turn against normals, that it was impossible for us to ever care for him... Those damn precogs. They broke his heart before he put a bullet through mine.’

‘Maybe... next obon?’

a shake of the head. ‘he thought it was too foreign. It’s fine, our comrades will beat sense into him in the afterlife.’ Kyousuke drank the rest of his tea.

‘..Some of the parts of the traditional ceremony... PANDRA loves you, but I think that would have made it hard to force them to cooperate,’ the man said. “I don’t want to hear words honoring him either, but you like to do things I don’t want.’

‘What, are you going to give me condolences for his loss?”

‘I can honestly say that I am very sorry he’s dead, because it means I will never get to strangle him,’ the man vigorously throttled the air, going from kind and patient to a man more than capable of shooting a young woman in love with him, and back, ‘from turning you from such a sweet, good little kid into the godawful brat I have had to deal with.’

Kyousuke snorted.

“Do you want another cup of tea, or a cup of milk?”

“Milk.” Kyousuke said, and when the man was on his way to open a white door, he began, “Utsumi-san said that he graduated first in his class, but he had no family and no background. The esper unit was his proposal, so when he told us that we could serve our country and be accepted, he wagered his own future on the chance that ours could be happy. Utsumi said later that he never trusted Saotome-Taicho, because he knew he didn’t truly care for us. I asked once why he didn’t warn us, if he knew that, but... Utsumi knew his heart, so he knew that Saotome-taicho also was different, was desperately wishing to prove he was valuable enough to accept. He knew what bait to dangle before us because it was the exact same lure that led him to the army. We all wanted him to have that happy future, along with us.’

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Chapter 7: A Sentimental Journey

Steve Harrington x Reader

CATCH UP ON THE SERIES HERE

Words: 3,095

Warnings: None? I mean probably swearing but this is straight fluff

Tags: @divinity-deos @wolfish-willow @scoopsohboi @thecaptainsgingersnap @herre-gud-nej @clockworkballerina @maddie1504​ @i-am-trash-so-much-its-scary @buckysarge​ @wildcvltre​ @n3wtscaseofniffler5​ @peterparxour @linkispink1995​ @a-big-ball-of-idk​ @used-avocado​ @mochminnie​ @sledgy14​ @the-creative-lie​ @yall-wildin-like-siriusly​ @ggclarissa​ @boredoomfm​ @voidnarnia​ @anonymousonion33 @the-passionate-freak​

“Steve, take me to prom,” Steve nearly shot milk out of his nose. He’d spent the morning counting down the hours till school was over. The final essay for crabby old Lawrence was due in less than a week and you still hadn’t handed over his essay for his final rewrite, which wasn’t a problem, he could just wait until he was back in your bedroom. Steve liked your house a lot more than his. He liked your grandparents, especially Maude who’d sit him on the couch and show him photos from your childhood. He liked your bedroom and digging through your sketchbooks, he liked how comfortable you were in your own space. Samantha would sometimes join the pair of you there, eating popcorn and playing her 48s on your dusty Mickey Mouse record player. But most of the time it was the pair of you alone, working on assignments and swapping stories. He’d forgotten about Vicki entirely, he’d only joined Tommy for lunch after he grabbed him by the arm and pulled him over.

“What?” he sputtered, swallowing hard. The whole table was watching him carefully. Vicki merely shrugged, batting her eyelashes at him. Steve’s stomach soured. It wasn’t as if Vicki wasn’t an attractive person, she was very pretty, but only on the outside. He didn’t really have it in him to stomach another night with her.

“I…I kind of have my eye on someone else, Vicks.” Steve watched as she deflated, looking down at her untouched kernel corn. “Besides, Hargrove’s probably itching to take you anyway.”

That was the wrong answer. Vicki immediately burst into tears, pushing away from the table. Carol rushed to console her, Tina taking up the rear. “They broke up last week, jackass.” She bit out, flipping Steve off angrily as she followed behind the crying Vicki.

Steve stood from the table, heading away from the mess he made. He didn’t want to hang out with Tommy anyway, especially with him glaring him down from across the table. He didn’t get why it mattered so much to Tommy that he do things the way he wanted. Dating Vicki didn’t make him more or less popular. It literally didn’t matter. They were going to graduate soon anyway.

Samantha grinned as she caught Steve walking over. “Harrington, twelve o’clock.” She whispered. You didn’t look up from your pad. The light had caught his hair right and you wanted to finish your shading before you lost the image in your mind. You heard Steve pull out the chair next to you and then your pad was tugged away.

“Hey!” you cried, your charcoal making a wide black streak down the page, effectively ruining the drawing.

“Who’s this supposed to be?” he held the sketchpad in front of him and then next to his face. Samantha chuckled darkly, shaking her head. “Is this supposed to be me?”

“Well, it was going to be till you ruined it.” You grumbled, snatching the pad back .

“That looks nothing like me!” Steve laughed loudly. In truth, he thought the man in the picture was too symmetrical and handsome to be him.

“On what planet?” Samantha scoffed, pulling her butterscotch pudding cup away from Steve’s greedy hands. He was a notorious pudding thief, and food thief in general, much to her annoyance and surprise.

“I get the best of everyone’s features…” you muttered, working on removing the mark he’d made “Not that there’s much to discard from you…”

“You missed the scar on my nose.” He replied with a shrug, grabbing your vanilla pudding. You both knew that you wouldn’t eat it.

You looked up “What scar?” Steve pointed to the bridge of his nose. You inched closer, getting a better view of the mark. Steve held his breath, utterly paralyzed. He felt like such a doofus. He was usually so smooth with girls, but you made him utterly tongue tied.

“Hm, yeah you do.” You pulled your face back, turning back to your pad, adding a thin line to the strong bridge of his nose. “How’d you get that?”

“Got hit in the face with a baseball bat in pee-wee t-ball.” Steve admitted. The participation trophy he had was from that game, his father took him out of the sport after getting hit. His whole team won the season, but because he didn’t play he got a tiny trophy from the league as a consolation prize.

“Seriously?” You and Samantha said in unison.

“Yeah, I made the paper and everything.” That was a point of pride for Steve, he had the clipping somewhere in his room. You and Samantha laughed at his cockiness. The image of elementary aged Steve with a huge gash down his nose and a toothless grin, holding up a dinky little trophy for the poor, underpaid reporter taking down the story.

The bell signalling the end of lunch blared over head and the three of you rushed to collect your things. Steve grabbed your tray, waiting for you to pack up your things. Samantha left without you, bidding her goodbyes to the pair of you.

Steve reached out to touch your elbow lightly, drawing your attention to him “We still good to hang out after school?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure, we can look over your essay.” You shrugged, trying to get the electric current blazing up your nerves to settle. Your breath caught in your chest every time he touched you. You wouldn’t lie to yourself, you liked him. You more than liked him; you didn’t even know how to explain it. You’d say it was love but you weren’t even sure how that was supposed to feel. All you knew is that the world seemed better when he was around and it wasn’t everything seemed greyer and duller. He was summer personified. He was sunshine and summer evenings and flowers and everything beautiful. And you never used to like all that shit. But now you wanted to bask in the glow of the sun that was Steve Harrington.

The hours till the bell always ticked slower and slower after lunch. The individual grains of sand cascaded past your eyelids as you zoned out in your other classes. When the final bell rang, the pair of you rushed from opposite sides of the school to meet in the middle. Samantha was walking disgustingly slow to your shared locker. “So, yeah I was going to ask Robin but I figure it might be suspicious enough to go with a girl, besides I don’t think I can snag another ticket so close to the deadline as is,” she’d been going on about whether or not she should invite her little junior paramour to the prom.

“Yeah, I mean most people already think you’re weird enough, showing up with a random junior might totally ruin you.” You sneered. Graduation was just around the corner, and Samantha’s acceptance to Wellesley was well taken care of. She was almost out of Hawkins; there was no point in trying to pretend that she was straight.

“It’s not me I’m worried about, it’s her. She’ll still be stuck here after I leave, I don’t want to make things hard for her.” Samantha replied with a shrug, pulling her gym kit from the bottom of your locker.

“Just take my ticket. You know most of the soccer team is going anyway.” You replied, shoving her cleats into her bag. You dropped your textbooks onto the tiny top shelf and pulled your messenger bag across your body.  You spotted Steve from across the hall. He’d just left his gym class and his hair was wet and dripping on his face. He bounded over to you, grinning like a fool.

“You ready?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You ever going to dry your hair?” Samantha mused. Steve shook his head hard, water flying off his to dry it like a dog would. You and Samantha screeched, holding up your hands to hide your faces from the water.

You smacked Steve’s back “Enough!” you cried. Steve stopped immediately, laughing softly.

“I’m gone, catch you tomorrow.” Samantha waved, jogging off to probably find little Robin. You and Steve headed off towards Steve’s car. He drove the pair of you home even when you weren’t hanging out. It was nice to have a ride home, Hawkins weather wasn’t kind in spring and even in May when the weather turned warmer and the sun shone brightly, rain could still hit at any moment. That was how you rationalized making maps in your mind of Steve’s hand on the gear shift and the way his jaw clenched when someone tried to cut him off or turned too slow in the left hand turn lane. He was too beautiful. It was painful to watch him, like staring directly into the sun. You thought about kissing him more than you’d ever admit out loud. It felt like wanting to kiss the statue of David, like Pygmalion with his Galatea, too self-flagellating to even attempt. You didn’t know why you felt like his creator, but you did. You’d done nothing to build him, to mould him, and yet you left as if you knew him better than anyone else. You understood his nature, the way his mind worked.  

Steve parked in his driveway and the pair of you headed across the street to your house. Your house seemed to be a specific choice for both of you. For you, being in your own home was comfortable and safe. You knew it like the back of your hand and it felt correct to be there. A cocoon of security for you to burrow into. Recently, Steve’s mother had been home much more than a month ago. You couldn’t read his mind, but being somewhere else than his own bedroom was probably a nice change. He seemed to keep you away from his house when his mother was there.

You unlocked the front door, kicking off your shoes in the doorway and tossing them on the rack. Steve followed suite mindlessly, calling into the house “Hey, Maude! Mr. Y/L/N…” he still wasn’t certain that your grandfather liked him; he seemed at times disinterested and at others cruel and cutting.

“Nice to see you again, Steve.” Maude smiled, poking her head out of the living room to smile at the pair of you. Your grandmother liked Steve. You were certain that she’d like anyone new you brought home. She was desperate to meet any of your friends and refused to believe that she’d met them all.

You and Steve headed upstairs, taking your usual seats in your bedroom, you on your desk chair and Steve laying flat on your mattress, constantly staring up at the stars. You read back his essay to him, noting the problems you’d found. This was the third time you’d edited it and the words were well worn into both of your brains. He’d decided to write on way Heathcliff is painted as a monster within the text, a fine topic which Mr. Lawrence had suggested as one of the topic choices. His argument was that Heathcliff is painted as a monster because of his interest in a woman he’s come to find in a sisterly position in his life. Basically, incest isn’t cool. It was a hard argument to proof, because the answers weren’t in the text itself, you had to push him to find points within the spaces in between the words. You were proud of the final piece that he’d created; it was a strong case and a decent attempt at a college level essay.

“What’s the verdict, chief?” Steve asked, sitting up slightly to address you fully.

“It’s good, there’s still a few sentences that need reworking and a quote that I think you could axe, but even without those edits you can still swing a solid B.” you handed the papers over to him. The pages had the least amounts of edits you’d done for him all semester. He’d really improved his writing.

“You think?” Steve replied, flipping through the pages quickly, noting the wide circle around a bit of dialogue from the fifteenth chapter. He couldn’t help but smile at the wide, bubbly ‘B+’ you’d scrawled at the top of the page. You’d drawn a little smiley face next to the grade, a small touch you’d started doing after editing his second paper, a little one pager about the thirteenth chapter of Wuthering Heights. He liked the little smiles, they made him happy whenever he saw them, they were a little touch of you on his work, a detail he refused to miss.

“Duh!” you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

Steve stood from your bed, turning his attention to your shelf. You’d let him go through your work before, a small feat of trust for you. You didn’t usually even let Samantha go through most of your work. You’d usually choose what people could see of your work. But Steve seemed to like the strange, unfinished, or messy works hidden in binders or pads shelved. He pulled out a grey binder, labelled in masking tape ‘Hawkins’ Most Beautiful’. He held up the binder to you, raising an eyebrow. “Now, what the hell is this?” he asked.

“That was my first attempt at a portfolio, before I learned what a portfolio was.” You replied with a small length. Steve opened the binder, which you’d turned into a sort of album with plastic viewers holding sketches in place, both in black and white and colour. He recognized the first one immediately as Nancy from about a year ago, judging by her ringlet curls. It looked so much like he remembered her, but he knew the girl you’d drawn wasn’t who she really was. Steve flipped the page. He didn’t recognize some faces, strangers to him, and you hadn’t labelled them with names. You done a couple recreations of yearbook photos, he remembered signing a picture of Carol, Tina, and Vicki from the previous year, the trio grinning in Hawkins High merchandise.

“You could do a whole like show with these, they’re really cool.” He held the binder up, pages flipped to the portrait you’d done of Barbara Holland. When you’d drawn that, you hadn’t known that she’d go missing or wind up dead, she was just the girl sat across from you in the library with interesting glasses.

“I’d want to redo them first. They’re all rough drafts. I planned to redraw them, choosing to emphasize one colour for each of the drawings, but then I also planned to black out their eyes, and then I thought they were all stupid ideas.” You explained sheepishly.

“No, don’t touch them.” Steve cut in “They’re perfect the way they are.”

Steve wasn’t much of an art critic. He certainly wasn’t an objective judge. But despite logic, you blushed heavily, turning your gaze away. You wished Steve would look away but he didn’t, you felt his eyes on you. “You really don’t have to be so nice, you know…” you muttered, looking up to meet his eye with a shy smile.

“Go to prom with me?” Steve hadn’t thought about the question before he said it. The subject had been on his mind since that afternoon and when he told Vicki that he had someone else in mind for the dance. At the time he didn’t think much of the statement, now it seemed obvious who his subconscious was alluding to.

“What?” you breathed out wide eyed and confused. You hadn’t planned on going at all. Samantha wanted to go, and you’d bought tickets but when she gained interested in Robin you relinquished your ticket easily to her. She’d have more fun on a quasi-date with the junior.

“Go with me,” he chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “You don’t have a date yet do you?”

“I don’t even have a ticket…I gave it away.” you replied, looking at your feet instead of him. You felt like such a little geek. You knew Steve wasn’t laughing at you, but you still felt small.

“I have two. And I want you to go with me.” Steve said simply, reaching out and taking your hand.

“Are you sure? I mean your friends all hate me and I don’t think your status as king will be damaged if they see you with me.” You replied, shaking your head as if the statement was funny. You couldn’t imagine spending the night with Tommy and Carol, and having it go well.  You knew that it wouldn’t.

“It doesn’t have to be like that. It can be whatever you want.” Steve said easily. He just wanted you to feel comfortable and it was so obvious that you weren’t. “And I don’t care about those guys. I’ll kick their asses if they try anything.”

“Whoa, calm down, we don’t want you getting hurt.” You joked, looking up at the ceiling. You didn’t have to know Steve personally to know that he was not a fighter, losing to freak Jonathan Byers was not a small story in a small town. Steve laughed at his own expense. Internally, he knew he could fight when he needed to, to protect people, but he couldn’t exactly tell that story. It still scared him too much to speak of.

“So, will you?” he asked. You rubbed your lips together, unsure what the right answer was. If there even was a right answer. Your gut instinct said yes without a doubt, but your mind fought back at the notion of even humouring the idea. You’d get laughed out of the place. You’d get mocked. Steve was playing a cruel prank. He couldn’t want to be seen with you. But you met his eye and you didn’t see any malice there. His wide, expressive eyes screamed kindness and patience.

You swallowed hard, pushing away feelings of worry. “Yeah, okay…” you said softly, taking Steve’s hand again to steady yourself. Steve would protect you if he needed to. He’d promised to. And you trusted him.

“Yeah?” he asked, matching your tone.

“Yeah.” You nodded hard, almost as if to convince him as well as yourself. Steve’s face split into his wide grin and you found yourself smiling too. Despite yourself, you were a bit excited. You spent the afternoon with his hand in yours, not letting go unless you did, looking over the portraits and discussing what you saw in the faces. It was the first moment of peace your heart had found in a long time

[jbbarnesnnoble]

When We Were Young and Naive

Summary:  A death brings you back to the town you’d left behind after high school, reminders of a love past surrounding you. 

Features/Warnings: Angst. Sadness. Major Character Death; Mentions of Real People in a Fictitious capacity (several Pittsburgh Penguins players; Modern!AU

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff/Reader

Notes: This is just pure sad. I really need to write some happy!Nat because almost all of my Natasha stories involve angst or character death. 

Based on ‘Amelia’ by Tonight Alive

Word Count: 2386

You never thought you’d be back in the small one stop sign town you’d grown up in. Getting out had been your only goal when you were a kid. College was your freedom. Most people stayed local. Tony Stark was the only other one who went away, but even he returned home. His family had an attachment to the small town, no matter how wealthy they were. 

You were one of the few who had gotten out and planned to stay out. But then your mother called. It had been years since you spoke to Natasha, to any of your friends. You’d been best friends growing up, until you said you were moving across the country. There had been a big blowup at the Rogers’. You had kept your college decision to yourself until graduation. 

“Weird to think we’ll be at college in the fall,” Natasha said as the two of you laid on the hammock in the Rogers’ back yard. Steve was cozied up with Sharon Carter, Bucky was trying and failing to impress Wanda Maximoff while Sam watched and laughed. Clint was sitting on the side of the swimming pool, watching a game of chicken going on. Maria Hill on the shoulders of Carol Danvers, facing off against Pepper Potts and Tony Stark. 

“Yeah,” you said, your voice quiet. You still hadn’t told her you didn’t commit to the local university. It was a good school, but it wasn’t your dream school. You’d applied to a few other places and got in. Pittsburgh was calling your name. 

“Did you put in your roommate request yet? I got mine today,” she said. You sat up and Nat looked at you with concern.

“I’m not going,” you said. She frowned.

“You’re not going to college? Bug, you always said you were going to go to college,” she said. Bug, short of Lightning Bug, born of your love of the summertime insect. 

“I didn’t say I’m not going. I’m not going to the U,” you said. 

“When were you going to tell me? Where are you going?” she asked. You sighed.

“I didn’t know how. You were so excited when I got my letter. I’m going to Pittsburgh, Natasha,” you said. She nodded.

“We can work with that. It’s not that far, it’s six hours by car, an hour flight. You’ll be home for vacations. Nothing has to change,” she said. You and Natasha were more than friends. You were high school sweethearts. And here you were, about to break her heart. 

“Natasha,” you said softly.

“Oh my god. You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” she asked, her voice cracking.

“I...Tasha...it’s not fair to you. I love you. But sometimes, you have to let the people you love go,” you said, standing up. 

“You’re such a bitch, you know that? We’ve been together for four years and you’re just what? Throwing it away because we’re going to be long distance? You hid this from me. What else are you hiding?” she yelled. You felt tears stinging your eyes. Natasha looked at you with an anger and hurt you’d never seen on her face. Your shoulders slumped. 

“I should go,” you said, looking away from her. Everyone was staring. You grabbed your bag and headed to your car. No one stopped you. 

You spent the rest of that summer with your cousin, a distant relation, out by Pittsburgh, after packing up your things for college sooner than you expected. Your parents drove out to move you in. 

You hadn’t been back since then, not even for holidays. You were effectively cast out. It wasn’t so much that you’d gone to Pittsburgh, it was that you’d hurt Natasha. You’d lied to them all. Your friends couldn’t understand your decision making. You glanced at the person in the driver’s seat. 

You had started out working for the Penguins as an intern, working your way to a permanent position by the time you graduated. The organization really was like family, and like family, they weren’t letting you face this alone. Sidney had volunteered to go with you. Geno and Tanger had all but talked you into letting him. 

“You good?” Sid asked. You nodded.

“I haven’t been here since...the last time anyone saw me, Natasha and I broke up. And I ran. That was...like six years ago...and now,” you said your voice trailing off.

“You’re here for her funeral,” he said.

“I’m not ready for this, Sid,” you said.

“No one ever is, kiddo. Come on, your mom’s been staring at the car out the window for ten minutes now. It’s now or never,” he said. You sighed and undid your seatbelt. Sid had insisted on driving. You were grateful for that. The Barton’s house next door seemed to have an endless stream of people. They’d adopted Nat when you were children. You could feel the stares as you got out of the car, hear the whispers.

“She’s got nerve coming here and bringing a guy with her,” you heard Sam say. You sighed. You knew forgiveness wouldn’t be found.

It had been an accident. You weren’t fully aware of the details, you knew enough to know it had been bad. 

“How are you holding up, sweetie?” your mom asked, pulling you into a hug when you got inside.

“Fine, mom. Just...shocked,” you said. 

“Bucky was asking if you’d be coming home,” she said. You snorted.

“Sure he did. Just like the rest of them are looking to welcome me with open arms,” you said. 

“Sweetheart...they’re hurting too. They lost a friend, a sister,” she said. 

“Yeah. I know,” you said, sitting down on the couch. You couldn’t bring yourself to go to the Barton’s, not yet. 

“I know you don’t like talking about it, but you’re going to have to eventually. Natasha would come here daily that summer, asking if you were coming home. You stopped answering texts from your friends. I don’t understand,” she said.

“They chose sides, mom. They made their choice when they didn’t have to,” you said. 

“Did they? Or did you shut everyone out? Steve said he tried calling you right after the accident to tell you Natasha was in the hospital but you blocked his number. Clint said after you left town you weren’t answering anyone,” she said. You shook your head. You didn’t think she’d ever understand. 

“I should go over,” you said, standing up. Sidney was your ever present shadow. You felt the stares as you entered the Barton’s house, the door open. Clint sat on the couch, a blank stare, his parents talking to Mrs. Barnes. 

“You came,” was all Clint said before standing up and pulling you into a hug. After hearing Sam’s comment outside, you weren’t sure what kind of reception you’d get. 

“Of course I did,” you said, hugging him tighter. You felt him shake with the force of his sob. For the first time since you got the news, you let yourself cry too. The two of you sunk to the floor, holding on to one another. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you said. You weren’t sure if you were saying sorry for his loss or for the years that had passed since you’d set foot in town. You lost track of time as the two of you sat there, holding on to one another. Clint knew. He knew the one thing no one else did.

“Tash, we’re gonna get caught if you come on another trip so soon,” you said, a giggle threatening to erupt as you spoke to Natasha over video chat. It had been two years since you left town, a year since you reconciled. You both agreed to keep it quiet. At first it was because your friends were still angry with you for how you’d walked away. Then it became nice having something that was just for the two of you. She knew you had blocked their numbers. You weren’t ready to mend those fences. Not when the immediate aftermath had been so bad. 

“Would it be so bad if we did?” she asked. You sighed.

“You think they’re ready for the truth? That their Bug wants to steal you away to the big city?” you teased.

“I love you, you know that?” she asked.

“Nat? Who are you talking to?” you heard Clint ask in the background. You fumbled with your phone as he came into frame. You were so busted when he saw you.

“Since when are you two talk...you two are back together aren’t you? Since when? I have to go tell everyone,” Clint said. Natasha set her phone down before going to jump on her brother’s back. You laughed as you heard their antics. 

“Clint said he’ll keep our secret,” she said with a laugh. 

You knew the hometown crew knew Nat had been seeing someone for some time. She’d been cagey when it came to spilling the details. At this point, it was down to you being ready to come back into their lives, ready to reconcile with your past and make amends. Five years of keeping secrets. A box was heavy in your pocket. One you’d been carrying for weeks. You knew Clint felt it.

“You brought it,” he said. You nodded.

“It’s hers. It will always be hers,” you said, your voice raw from crying. 

You knew the others had come in. Bucky was the first to piece things together. Clint had left a photo album open on the coffee table, one Natasha had put together of photos of the two of you from the past five years.

“How long?” Bucky asked.

“We made up by the end of summer. Took a break for the year,” you said. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” he asked. 

“It was a funny game at first. Seeing if any of you would figure it out. I was still mad at how you all reacted. And then it just became a matter of enjoying having it be us, just us. I wish I had a better explanation but I don’t,” you explained. You weren’t expecting the hug from him once you and Clint stood. 

You weren’t sure you were ready when it came time for the funeral a few days later. You had slipped the ring box in the casket when you were given a moment to privately say your goodbyes to her. You weren’t ready to say goodbye. You were lost in a memory, the last time she’d made the trek to Pittsburgh. The two of you had finally settled on a house you liked and put in an offer. It had only been a few weeks before. You were lucky to be in a place where you could get a house, thanks to your job and hers. 

“It’s perfect,” Natasha said as the two of you did one last walk through before finalizing your offer on the house. 

“I can’t wait. Maybe it’s time to finally come clean,” you said.

“They’re going to be so mad...but I think they’ll get over it,” she said with a laugh. 

“They can consider it payback for the last prank they pulled. We just...played the long con,” you joked. She pulled you into a kiss before spinning you around, dancing with no music playing in what would be your living room. 

“My wife, becoming a PR boss in the sports world,” she teased.

“We’ll need to get married first, Tasha,” you said. 

“And we will,” she said with a wink. You pulled her close, feeling her relax into your embrace. This was the dream. Life, you thought, would never get better than holding Natasha Romanoff in your arms. She was your forever, of that much you were sure.

“This seat taken?” Bucky asked. You were alone in the funeral home. It was still early. The Bartons had taken their time earlier, giving you yours. 

“No,” you said.

“We knew, you know. Tasha was good at keeping secrets, but Clint’s shit at keeping them,” he said. You laughed.

“Then why did Sam make a snarky comment about me bringing Sid?” you asked. Bucky gave you a look.

“It’s Sam. I think he’s hurt that neither of you trusted him enough to tell him. But you told Clint,” he said. You laughed.

“In all fairness, Clint found out accidentally,” you said. 

“We missed you, Bug. I hate that it took this to bring you home,” he said. 

“We were planning...I was coming to town in a couple weeks. We bought a house. Out in Pittsburgh. I know she mentioned she had found a job in a new city, that she’d be able to spend summers out here. That she and her mystery partner were taking that step. I bought a ring. I was going to propose down by the creek, you know the spot,” you told him. He nodded, a fond smile on his face. The creek was a spot your group had spent many summer days and nights at. As children playing hide and seek in the day, manhunt at night. As teenagers, stealing beer from your parents and spending nights by the fire, hanging out. The creek was your spot on the edge of the Barnes’ property. 

“Bet you had a whole plan, Bug,” he said. You nodded.

“I did,” you said. 

“So, why did you bring that guy?” he asked. You laughed a little.

“The team is like a family. They played rock, paper, scissors. Sid won. They...they didn’t want me to travel alone,” you explained. The rest of the day was a blur, from the services at the funeral home, to the burial at the cemetery on the edge of town. Saying goodbye wasn’t easy. 

But in saying goodbye, you found yourself at home again, surrounded by old friends, family. The light in the dark. It had rained most of the day until the procession made it to the cemetery. The sun broke through long enough to shine on the plot, to shine on you, wrapping you in a warm embrace. You swore you could smell her perfume faintly in the wind as the sun was once more hidden behind the clouds as you laid a flower on the casket. You knew things would be okay, eventually. 

[stxphxn-strange]

death doesn’t discriminate

a/n: so when i first started my college au, i came up w a lot of angst and tragedy that i forgot about when i introduced you to it. so here’s my solution: you’re getting angst now! tw for death in this fic, keep that in mind as you read. I’m super proud of this so i hope you read and lmk ur thoughts Tags: @stark-strange-love @ah3m @grumb-lin @ironstrange-chaos @maya-custodios-dionach

“You’re perfect, you know that? You’re the most precious thing in existence.”

His words were met with a content (read: blissed out), sleepy sigh.

“Hey, you good?” Stephen asked, softly ruffling Anthony’s already wildly messy hair.

“Great, but exhausted,” Anthony murmured, pressing his face into the pillow. “You know you tired me out, just let me sleep.”

Stephen smiled and kissed him softly. “Do you want to shower first? Maybe a snack? And then I promise you can rest.”

“And you’ll hold me all night?” Anthony asked, looking up and batting his eyelashes.

“Ugh, you’re impossible!” Stephen scoffed, overcome with love for his boyfriend. “Of course I will.”

All Stephen wanted to do was kiss Anthony senseless and hold him forever, but he couldn’t for a couple of reasons: tomorrow he was leaving on SI business, and someone was knocking on their bedroom door.

During Stephen’s unusually infinitesimal period of reflection Anthony fell asleep, unintentionally forcing Stephen to get out of bed. He tightened his robe as he answered the door, tiredness making his smile more forced than normal. “Rhodey, I’m not going to moderate another debate about almond milk between you and Harold.”

“Stop calling me Harold!” Harry yelled from somewhere down the hall.

Rhodey shook his head. “Oh no, we’re not getting into that again. I was just going to ask if Tones got the PDFs yet.”

“He’s asleep,” Stephen said, a blush creeping onto his face. “Although I need to wake him up again, I can ask or just tell him to text you.”

“That sounds good,” Rhodey replied, a knowing look in his eye. “Just remember: our business trip is only a week, and no wall in this apartment is 100% soundproof.”

Stephen rolled his eyes. “Goodnight, Rhodey.”

He closed the door again, sitting on his bed beside Anthony, who appeared to be falling deeper into sleep.

Stephen sighed, gently shaking one of his shoulders to wake him up. Another restful night filled with banter and love was ahead of them, and Stephen wanted to make the most of it before Anthony left in the morning. Grumpy as he was when he finally woke up, Stephen could tell that Anthony wanted to make the most of the night as well.

++++

“It’s official: I hate goodbyes!” Stephen tried not to convey how upset he actually was.

He did hate goodbyes. He hated that Anthony was leaving for a week, though he never liked to admit how much he actually missed his boyfriend. Stephen would always nod whenever Wong complained that the house was quiet without Anthony, Rhodey, and Harry, but his face always fell when it struck him again that his boyfriend was away.

“Let me ask you something,” Wong began.

“Do I want to know?” Stephen replied, filling the kettle with water.

“I won’t beat around the bush,” Wong said. “Why haven’t either of you proposed yet?”

“Unlike the rest of you, we’re not in a rush,” Stephen quipped. “If I know Ant as well as I think I do, he’s waiting for what he thinks is the perfect moment. I’m doing the same.”

“That’s a load of bullshit,” Wong said.

Looking up from his phone, he continued: “You know, we thought you were going to propose before graduation! I’m already out $300 because of all of the bets I lost to our friends.”

“I don’t think I want to know this either, but who did you bet with?” Stephen asked.

“Carol, Rhodey, all of the Odinson siblings, and Christine,” Wong replied.

“And you all know why I didn’t do it then, yes? As in you didn’t bet $50 with six (6) different people after winter break?” Stephen asked. “Anthony and I talked about it and it just felt too soon after his mother and Howard died.”

“No, I didn’t,” Wong said. “That makes sense, though. We really aren’t trying to rush you.”

“I know you don’t mean it seriously, what in our friend group isn’t dealt with through absurd amounts of teasing?” Stephen asked, rolling his eyes. “But you know what? I think when they come back from the trip might be a good time.”

“Fucking FINALLY!” Wong replied, leaping into the air. “Let’s call Christine right now!”

++++

A few days later, Wong woke up to the sound of one of his housemates frantically opening and closing the kitchen cabinets. He was about to text the housemates’ chat, before he remembered that Stephen was the only other one that was home, the others wouldn’t be back for another three (3) days.

So that left a singular question: why was Stephen, somehow the quietest of the group, slamming cupboard doors?

Wong found his bunny slippers and shuffled down the hallway, locking eyes with a distressed Stephen. “What are you doing?”

“I’m rearranging the kitchen.”

“Why?”

“How many reasons do you want? I don’t know what to do with myself, I’m stressed, and it’s too early to call Anthony although I doubt he’s asleep as it is since he rarely sleeps while traveling, but—”

“You can’t be this nervous to propose, can you?” Wong asked, his tone ignorant and teasing but without malice. “He won’t be back until the end of the week, so you have time to plan and replan everything until you’re happy.”

“I was going to propose when he got back, I was going to ask you to help me plan something nice as a welcome for him and Rhodey and Harry, but... shit I have to go home,” Stephen said. “To my parents’ farm, I mean.”

“Why? Everything okay?” Wong asked.

Stephen ran a hand through his bedhead. He knew he was shaking but didn’t have the energy to care. “My mom isn’t doing well at all. I... Victor needs me.”

“When do you leave?”

“Later this evening. I just need to call Anthony, both to hear his voice and to keep him updated.”

“He’s calling you now,” Wong said, glancing at where Stephen’s phone was vibrating towards the edge of the counter.

He began to make something for breakfast as Stephen picked up the phone.

“You know I love you, but why are you calling so early?” Stephen asked, trying to keep his voice light.

Anthony, sleep deprived and stressed as he was, knew him too well and could immediately tell that something was up. His voice was rough when he spoke, “something’s wrong.”

“What do you mean? Are you okay?” Stephen fretted.

“I’m fine, I meant something’s bothering you. I can hear it in your voice,” Anthony clarified. He sounded like a warm hug that Stephen just wanted to hide in until the end of time, his tone gentle as he asked what was going on.

“I’m just upset, that’s all,” Stephen replied. “Um... Victor called me about an hour ago. He says Mom isn’t... doing too well and he really wants me to go to the farm, at least for his sake. So I’m leaving tonight, just to spend some time there while I can. Apparently a lot of the family is flying out... Vic didn’t go into detail but he said it’s bad.”

Anthony hummed, and Stephen could hear rustling on his end of the line.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m looking for my laptop so I can book a flight,” Anthony said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“No way, I can’t ask you to—”

“Stephen? My darling, my sweet baby boyfriend who can be more obtuse than a triangle?” Anthony interrupted.

Stephen scoffed. “You’re one to talk.”

“My mind is made up,” Anthony said. “I’m sure someone can cover for me, this is a family emergency after all.”

“You...” Stephen’s voice broke. “Anthony...”

Anthony hushed him quietly. “I want to be there for you, and for your family, and I promise you I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Fucking hell,” Stephen whispered, trying to keep himself from sobbing. “Thank you.”

“I just want to support you, Steph,” Anthony replied. “I’m going to have to go wake Pepper up, she should be getting up soon. I just want to brief her before the day starts, but I’ll be free for a bit after I find her if you want to call me back.”

“I might FaceTime you,” Stephen said. “You haven’t even been gone that long and I still miss you like you wouldn’t believe.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Anthony murmured. “I love you.”

“I love you too, tell Pepper I said hi,” Stephen replied.

He put his phone down when the call ended, sighing and running his fingers through his hair.

“Do you want french toast?” Wong asked quietly.

Stephen jumped, forgetting his friend was even in the kitchen. “Yes please. And then I have to go and pack some stuff.”

++++

“Hey guys, I need you to cover for me. I have a flight to Nebraska at 4, it’s a family emergency, Stephen’s mother...”

“Tones what are you still doing here? You need to get there. I’ll help you pack,” Rhodey said.

“I’ll drive. Be ready to leave in no later than two (2) hours,” Harry added. “

Pepper smiled sadly. “You know we’re going to cover your ass no matter what, especially if it has something to do with Stephen. By the way, w—”

“Now is hardly the time to discuss a proposal, Miss Potts!”

++++

“You know, I always liked Anthony better than you,” Victor said. “I think Donna did too, God rest her soul.”

“Alright Vic, enough,” Stephen replied. “I only came home for you, don’t chase me away. Besides, Donna liked me better than you, and that’s all that really matters.”

“I’m telling Dad you said that,” Victor spat, his light tone betraying his words. “You know I’m happy you’re home. And I’m glad you have Anthony.”

“He’s loyal, you know? I tried to tell him not to come, but he insisted. And he was in California for business,” Stephen said, smiling at the mention of his boyfriend.

“You’re going to do something embarrassing once you see him, aren’t you?” Victor scoffed.

“No, I’m just going to hug him,” Stephen replied. “Fuck off Vic, it’s none of your business how I show affection.”

All things considered Stephen didn’t break his word, because he did hug Anthony as soon as they made eye contact. Nobody had to know if there were tears in his eyes when he rested his head on Anthony’s shoulder and held him as if they’d been apart for years.

Victor, impatiently standing a short distance from the couple, cleared his throat. “I don’t mean to rush this reunion, but we should get home now.”

“Since when do you drive?” Anthony teased, giving Victor a short hug. “The last time I saw you—”

“Don’t you dare say I was ‘just a baby!’ I’ve heard that from all of my relatives these past two (2) days,” Victor replied. “And let me address that now: I’m driving so I control the music.”

Victor’s taste in music wasn’t bad, so neither Stephen nor Anthony objected. Plus, they were both exhausted from traveling and the fact that they didn’t sleep very well apart. It was no surprise that Anthony fell asleep on the drive from the airport to the family farm. Stephen thought back to the other day, to the way Anthony soared under his praises and how he fluttered his eyelashes at the end of the night, just before falling asleep. He was trying to be coquettish, but fell asleep before they could trade anymore banter. Stephen had to fight to keep from laughing (it was more like giggling) at how adorable Anthony was.

Tonight, as the moonlight through the car window highlighted his closed eyes and slightly parted lips, Stephen just wanted to cry. It wasn’t a sad kind of cry, it was perhaps relieved. Things would always be okay with Anthony around, and that realization never failed to bring Stephen to tears.

++++

It was the best sleep he’d had in three (3) days, and it came to a sharp end as urgent knocking cut through his dream.

Anthony slipped out of bed, pulling the blankets up around Stephen. No matter how cold he got in the middle of the night, he always kicked the comforter away.

His fond smile at the thought of Stephen’s idiosyncrasies died when he saw the stricken look on Victor’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Anthony asked, immediately placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He’d always seen Victor and Donna as the siblings he never had, and it was very important to Anthony that all of the Strange siblings knew he cared for them. Stephen obviously did, although reminding him never hurt, but the familial bond Anthony had with his siblings was valuable to all parties involved. Understandably, the idea of Victor being this upset troubled him.

“Is Stephen up?” Victor asked. His voice was almost shrill, marching the chaotic background noise from elsewhere in the farmhouse.

Anthony shook his head. “Do I need to wake him up?”

Victor nodded. “And hurry up, we have to go downtown now. Meet me in the kitchen as soon as you can.”

++++

The rest of the Strange family descended upon both the farm and the town after Bev Strange passed. The next few days consisted of funeral arrangements, people running errands, speedrunning the stages of grief, and little to no sleep. There were two (2) points during that week where everything came to a screeching halt, and everyone was just taking on tragedy like a sponge soaks water. The night before Mrs. Strange’s funeral was one of them.

Eugene Strange jogged down the stairs that night, an envelope in one hand and his other clutching his chest.

“Dad you okay?” Stephen asked.

“Completely fine, I’m just running something to your aunt and then I’ll settle in for the night,” Eugene replied.

“Do you want me to take it?” Victor offered. “You don’t look well, you should rest.”

“No, son, I’m okay. A little drive to town can’t hurt,” Eugene said, waving his hand in dismissal of Victor’s offer.

A little drive to town couldn’t hurt on its own, but coupled with a heart attack it was fatal to Eugene.

Stephen was livid when he found out, mostly angry with himself for not going and running the errand. “Why did I let him go?”

Victor was also livid, his anger directed at Stephen for most of the week. “Yeah, why did you?! How can you say you care about our family when you took Donna to the lake that day, AND you let Dad go when he was in no condition to drive? I’m lucky you even came around for me and for Mom, everyone knows all you care about is yourself!”

As the Strange family planned their second funeral of the week, Victor and Stephen didn’t talk much. Victor wasn’t right to be angry with Stephen, which he did eventually realize. Victor was even the one who advocated for Stephen going home and taking care of himself for a few days.

“He’s right, you do deserve to be cared for. Especially now,” Anthony murmured, tracing Stephen’s collarbones. “You’re so strong and selfless, I just want to give you the world, if you’ll let me.”

“You’re too good to me,” Stephen murmured. “Ant, do you know I love you so much it hurts? The fact that we’ve been in each other’s lives for so long and have come so far means so much, and there’s no one else I’d rather go through all of this shit with. You... you’re just everything. I love the way you drown me in praise but catch me when I fall... and—”

“If anyone gets drowned in praises, it’s me from you,” Anthony whispered, as Stephen broke off with a sob. “You’re the one always catching me and keeping me grounded. But that’s what our relationship has always been, you know? I never would have gotten through the things that happened in the past few years without you, and there won’t ever be a moment you won’t have my equal support. I think you’ve been stuck with me since we met and talked about... remind me, with your picture perfect memory, what it was?”

Stephen didn’t reply, only shifting a bit closer to Anthony.

“Steph?” Anthony asked quietly, brushing a soothing hand through his hair.

Stephen snored softly. It wasn’t really a snore, as Stephen didn’t snore, more or less a soft exhale that ghosted over Anthony’s collarbone. Either way, he was asleep.

Anthony smiled sadly and kissed his forehead. “Goodnight Stephen. Get some rest, I promise I’ll always be here.”

++++

“If you need anything, do you swear that you’ll call or text or just fly to New York to see me?” Stephen asked again.

“Stephen, I promise I’m going to be okay,” Victor assured him. “And I will.”

“You don’t need anything else while we’re here?” Stephen asked.

“No, I’m fine!” Victor said, feigning annoyance. “Just go home, and Anthony take care of my hardheaded brother, please.”

“I always do,” Anthony replied, giving Stephen a soft kiss.

“Get your PDA out of my face,” Victor teased. “Have a safe flight. Text me when you’re home.”

“You do the same,” Stephen said firmly.

The events of the past week took their toll on the brothers, and Stephen’s usual fearlessness disappeared. The smallest things rattled him, a routine lurch of the plane almost sending him into a panic attack.

“If we survive this flight, will you marry me?” Stephen asked at the crux of takeoff.

Anthony smiled and hugged him, murmuring, “I thought you’d never ask.”

“I swear I had this whole gesture planned but I don’t want to live another second without asking. A part of me needs this trip to have something of a happy ending, and I was really going to wait until we were home, but I waited long enough to be your boyfriend, I don’t want to wait to be your fiancé,” Stephen rambled.

“I have my own romantic gesture planned too.” Anthony’s voice was low and gravelly from tiredness, and his voice combined with his closeness sent shivers down Stephen’s spine. “You’ll love it, I’ll show you when we’re home.”

“I can’t wait.”

++++

Wong‘s friendly, grumpy face was a nice surprise waiting for them at the airport. “Harry and Rhodey are home, sleeping I think but you never know with them. I figured you’d both be tired, so I’d just come get you and let you sleep on the drive home.”

“You might be a Saint,” Anthony replied, leaning fully against Stephen.

“I’m just a good friend, one who accepts payment in the form of bread,” Wong teased. “Let’s go home.”

Harry was the only one in the kitchen when they got back, Rhodey on the phone w T’challa in his room. He greeted them with a warm: “Hey guys, you okay? I made sandwiches if you’re hungry.”

“My friend, I’m going to take you up on that,” Wong replied, pulling up a stool.

“I’m exhausted, and Ant is too, so we’re going to bed. Text if you need anything, but we’re going to just go pass out,” Stephen said. He didn’t bother waiting for a response, taking Anthony’s hand and leading him to their bedroom.

It was right before they climbed into bed that he got down on his left knee, taking hold of Anthony’s hands.

“There’s no limit to the things I want to say to you, and we both know that I’m never usually short on words but I just need to get my point across now. I might combust if I wait any longer,” Stephen began.

“Ask me,” Anthony murmured breathlessly. “I won’t interrupt again, just go ahead a—”

Stephen frowned as someone, it sounded like Harry, shouted from the kitchen.

The knocking, uncoordinated and loud, only intensified the longer Stephen and Anthony ignored it.

“What?!” Stephen called.

“We need a moderator for another debate about food!” Harry yelled.

“I’m in the middle of proposing!”

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch 31 - Karaoke Night

Carol propped her feet up on the porch railing and leaned back in her chair. She let out a contented sigh as she reached into the bag of chips to feast upon the salty snacks.

She was waiting for Varian and his friends from SFIT to arrive. Midterms had just ended and Varian had invited her to come with them to karaoke, knowing how she loved singing.

Carol didn't really know any of his other friends, though she had met the tall girl, Honey Lemon, a few times, but she was always keen to meet new people and even more keen to party, so she had readily agreed.

Right now she was killing time and keeping a lookout for the group. Varian mentioned something about a car pool.

Just then a limo pulled up and parked itself between the two houses that made up the sorority and fraternity. Carol curiously peered over her toes to get a better look at the out of place vehicle.

Out stepped a lanky guy with shoulder length blonde hair and wearing a baggy Kentucky Kaiju t-shirt and knitted beanie. She figured it was one of Brad's snobbish friends come to see him, or perhaps a new prospective student signing up to join the frat. Though he didn't look like the usual preppy rich kids that hung around the frat house. Must be one of those guys who wears things ironically, she thought and rolled her eyes before going back to eating.

She then almost fell out of her chair when she saw Varian also step out of the limo as well. Her mouth dropped. What other secrets did this kid have?

She then looked down at the crumbs of potato chips down her shirt; suddenly embarrassed. She ducked and scrambled back into the house while Varian and the other guy exchanged some friendly words.

                                                 ------------------------

Varian walked up the porch steps of the sorority house and knocked on the door. It opened almost immediately. He gave a wide grin upon seeing Carol but before he could say 'hello' her hand shot out, grabbed the front of his shirt, and dragged him inside.

She slammed the door close and ran to the window to peer out from behind the curtain.

"Who's that?" She whispered hurriedly as she pointed to the window.

Confused and now completely knocked off guard Varian walked over to look out to where she was pointing.

All he saw was Fred standing next to the limo waiting on them. The other teen was singing a made up song about being a superhero under his breath and rocking back and forth on his heels impatiently.

"Oh that's just Fred. We took his limo because it had more room for everybody than Wasabi's car." Varian explained.

"His limo?! You didn't tell me you were friends with a millionaire!" She snapped back in a hushed tone, as if she was afraid the other boy could hear them from across the street outside.

Varian could only blink back bewildered. Why was that a problem?

Carol rolled her eyes and went back to watching Fred.

"Does he go to SFIT, too?" She asked, never looking away from the window, "Is he one of those super smart guys?"

"No, Fred's not in college."

"Oh, don't tell me; he's in high school." She responded back sarcastically.

"Umm… no. I think he graduated from homeschool this year." Varian blithely answered. He didn't see how it mattered what school Fred went to or if he went at all.

Carol tilted her head, "Wait, so is he closer to my age or yours?"

Varian thought a moment, "Uh, yours... I think he had a birthday just a couple of months back."

"Soooo he's what.. eighteen then?"

"Uh yeah, just a year younger than you." Varian scratched head, he still didn't understand Carol's odd behavior. "Look, I'm sure he can answer all these questions himself." Varian walked towards the door as he tried to coax Carol to come along. "Why don't you come on out and meet him-"

"Is he single?"

Varian paused mid-sentence and looked at Carol in surprise. The girl hadn't moved away from the window and was still peering through the curtain.

"Umm...Yeeesss." Where was this going?

"Is he gay?" Was the next the next question.

"Uhhhh...."

"Like, he is into girls or boys?" She hastily explained.

"I, honestly don't know." Varian slowly answered. Who Fred might prefer to date was not anything he had considered before, and not a subject of conversation that had ever come up.

She finally stopped looking out the window and instead looked down at the sweater she currently wore. Then to his surprise she turned on her heel and ran upstairs.

"Wait! Carol where are you going?" He yelled after her as he followed her upstairs.

"Everyone's waiting for-" He was interpreted again by a bra to the face as soon as he stopped in front of her room. Followed by a series of other assorted clothes being thrown his way. Dresses, shirts, shoes, were flung in his general direction as Carol blindly tore through her chest of drawers. One particularly floofy dress landed on his head and hung there as he stood momentarily stunned.

"Ugh! I have nothing to wear!" She shouted in frustration.

Varian tried to gather his wits again and pulled the dress off the top of his head. "What's wrong with what you got on?" He asked.

"This thing?" She asked incredulously back. "This ain't impressive. I need something that'll wow him."

Varian once again looked confused. "Who?"

"Who? Who do you think?" She rolled her eyes but failed to explain further. She then held up two dresses and asked. "Which do you think is better? The tight black one that's off shoulder, or the fun summery one with the flowers that shows off more leg?"

Varian darted his eyes back and forth at the two dresses, still utterly lost as to what was happening.

"Umm.. I'm not a fashion expert."

She sighed with exasperation. "Which do you think Fred will like better?"

"Fred? Fred's not going to care what you wear." He snorted.

Carol looked offended, "Oh you don't think a guy like that might be interested in me, hun? He's out of my league just cause I'm not some preppy uptown girl who buys Gucci handbags!"

"What? No!" Now Varian was even more lost, and not just because he didn't know what a 'gucci handbag' even was." No, I just meant you look good in anything. Also Fred's not like that. He doesn't care about clothes or handbags. I'm not even sure he cares anything about dating."

Carol stopped holding up the dresses and gave a pout. "You really don't think he'll care?"

"Why would he?"

"Cause everyone else does. I got into this school and the sorority house on a scholarship. I won a grant, but a lot of the other girls are here 'cause they got money or their family knows the dean or some crap like that." She sighed and hugged her knees. "It's the same with guys over at the frat house. Most of them are nice enough but, it's hard to feel like you fit in when you're still buying your clothes from the bargain bin over at the Goodwill."

"Naw, Fred's not like that at all, and neither are any of my other friends. Just wear what you want."

He gave her an encouraging smile and she returned it with a small one of her own.

"Okay." She conceded. "Then I want to wear the one with the flowers." She held up the dress again.  

"Fine, then I'll be down stairs waiting." Varian gave a mock sigh of frustration before they both broke out into giggles. He then headed down stairs to let her change.

                                                ------------------------

Yamasho was a sushi restaurant that held karaoke night every weekend. It was the typical hole in the wall that locals from the neighborhood frequented. Nothing fancy but decent food when on a budget and the family owned establishment took good care of it's regulars.

The gang of college students were given a large table near the stage. Well it was actually two tables shoved together to accommodate the large group, who sat around eating, laughing, and just enjoying the freedom from their studies fnow that midterms were over with.

Karmi walked over to the table to join her friends carrying with her a black three ring binder.

"I got the song list book!" She said as she handed the folder to Hiro.

"I'm not sure if I'll sing anything, but I'll take a look."

"Oh, but ya got to!" Karmi urged as she took a seat next to him and peered over his shoulder at the list of songs. "That's the whole point of karaoke night, silly."

"Why? So you can post my embarrassingly bad singing online?" Hiro shot back good naturedly.

"If she won't then I will." Varian quipped. He leaned in to look at the booklet as well. "So how does this 'karaoke' work anyways?"

"You pick a song off this list and give it to the DJ over there." Karmi pointed to a man standing next to the stage with a soundboard and computer.

"Then when he calls you up on stage he'll play the music and you just sing along with it." Hiro explained. "There's also a screen that'll flash the lyrics up in case you forget the words."

Varian scanned the listing looking for something familiar. "Does it have to be a song from this list specifically?"

"Sometimes the DJ will do special requests," Wasabi added in, "but it might not have the words on screen if he does."

Just then the piece of nigiri Wasabi held fell from between the chopsticks and landed on his shirt. This ignited laughter from the group and cry of frustration from the larger guy as he furiously tried to wipe off the stain.

"Oh, that's right!" Honey Lemon said through a giggles, "this where you got your nickname from. Remember? It was last year we came here right after midterms."

"I remember," Gogo confirmed, "it was our first semester and we wanted to celebrate."

Fred chuckled. "Yeah old Wasabi had butter fingers then too." He turned to Carol to explain since she was new, "We hounded him for days about it and the name just stuck."

"So wait, your name isn't actually Wasabi?" Varian asked.

"No. Do you honestly think my mother named me after a condiment?" Wasabi snapped back.

Varian shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know what the usual naming convictions in America is. In Corona, I once knew a girl who was named after lettuce, ok."

"So what is your real name? I've never heard anyone one call you anything else but Wasabi either." Karmi asked.

"Noel."

Hiro snorted as he tried to contain his laughter "Noel?" He inhaled deeply and opened his mouth wide as if to belt something else out, but was interrupted by Wasabi.

"I know you're not about to start singing a christmas carol right now, or I'll have to shove this whole nori roll into your mouth." He said in a deadpan voice that told everyone present that he heard the joke before.

Hiro quickly snapped his jaw shut and swallowed hard. "Noooo, n-not all buddy." He squeaked. "Noel is….is a... festive name."

Wasabi raised an annoyed eyebrow at him and Hiro plastered on an apologetic grin.

"Sooo, how did you two get your nicknames?" Carol chimed in hoping to change the subject.

"Well I have this favorite lotion that I always like to wear," Honey Lemon chirped, "its lemon and honey scented, and so Freddie…

"So I started calling Honey Lemon," Fred joined in."cause she smells just as sweet as her personality."

"Awe thank you," she blushed, "My real name is Amanda, but I really like the nickname so it's what I go by all the time now."

"Oh, so that's what I smell whenever you fall asleep on.. me-" Varian paused in this realization as everyone turned to look at him. He coughed and started to stuff his face with sushi to distract from his faux pas.

"Ok then…" Carol laughed, "So what about you Gogo? What's your real name?

"Lei."

"Lei?" Karmi asked. "But that's actually shorter than Gogo. Why not just go by that instead?"

The biker chick only shrugged and pointed back towards Fred.

"Cause she's always on the go, ya know." Fred explained.

"I don't really care what people call me." Gogo added. "I'm still Lei to my dad and Gogo to my friends."

"Well then Gogo," Hiro asked as he passed the song folder down, "are you going sing anything?"

"No."

"Oh come on Gogo; it'll be fun." Honey Lemon encouraged.

"Nope."

"Then I'll pick something out." Fred grabbed the binder from her. He glanced over it's contents and said, "I think I wanna do a rap song."

Hiro snorted, "You can rap?"

"Sure I can rap. " He said indignantly.

"I'm not sure if I'd call what you do 'rap'." Wasabi interject.

"Oh yeah, well then just watch this." And with that Fred got up and walked over to the DJ, taking the binder with him.

"Rich and talented" Carol mused after he was out of ear shot, "I'm surprised none of you are dating."

Gogo burst into laughter. "You mean Fred? Oh, no noooo no; that's big nope. You haven't known Fred very long."

Carol frowned.

"We all love Freddie," Honey Lemon interceded, " He's a great guy. It's just...sometimes he can get a liiiitle…"

"Insane." Gogo said.

"Intense!" Honey Lemon quickly corrected and then paused as she realized this was perhaps not the best alternative. "No. Wait. That's not the right word...hmm…Passionate! Yes. He's a very passionate person."

"He's also insane." Gogo whispered to Carol.

That's when Fred walked on stage and picked up the microphone.

                                               ------------------------

The night went on. Everyone sang, laughed, and carried on as young people do. Then it was time to head home.

They dropped Carol off first at the sorority house.

"Here let me get out first." Fred said as he opened the limo door and stepped out, "that way you can get out easier with having to crawl all over me." He reached a hand out to help her and Carol grabbed it as she scooted across the long seat to get out.

"My you are quite the gentlemen, ain't ya?" She flirted as she stepped out of the car. She flashed him a wide grin but Fred didn't catch on to her meaning behind the words.

"Ah, I try." He shrugged obliviously.

Varian got out as well. "Well good sir, if you would be so kind as to leave the car running." He said in a mocking manner, imitating the upper nobility he'd sometimes see in court.

Fred caught on to the joke and put on his best fake upcurst accent. "Indubitably, abd will that be all my lord?" He gave a mock bow and they both broke out into snickers.

Carol rolled her eyes and started to walk off, irritated that Varian had gotten in the way.

He followed after.

"I don't need you to walk me to the door you know." She said under her breath.

"I know, I just…"

"Just what?" She reached the porch and whirled around. "We aren't dating, remember?"

"I..I know." Varian looked surprised. "I just figured since I asked you to come along I should be the one to say goodnight to you." He awkwardly explained.

Carol crossed her arms.

"Did I do something wrong?"

She sighed. "I don't want Fred to think we're a couple."

Varian turned back to look at the other teen. He spotted them both looking at him and waved. "Goodnight. It was nice meeting you." He yelled.

She smiled and waved back.

"You..you really like him?" Varian asked.

"Well yeah," Carol said."He's nice, and the fact that he can afford to spring for a taco now and then doesn't hurt either."  

She paused as if a thought occurred to her. "You think I'm being shallow."

"What? No. If you like him that's great. Hey, that's two friends of mine who get along. Wh-what's not to like about that."

She raised an eyebrow. "You jealous?"

"No." He pouted. "It sure didn't take long to get over me though." He joked.

Carol laughed, "Awww, I'm sure you've broken plenty of hearts."

"Who me? Yeah right." Varian scoffed. He then became thoughtful. "I haven't had many chances to meet people until I came here."

"Well of course not. You're only sixteen." She rolled her eyes and then smiled. "You've got plenty of time to find love."

Varian only returned a half smile."Yeah...time…that's also something I always feel like I'm running out of."

"Ugh, I know. Midterms were killer this year, and we gotta do it all again in a few more weeks for finals." He turned and walked back towards the door. "Night. This was fun. Next time y'all decide to do something like this be sure to invite me again."

"We will."

"Oh and if you could maybe find out what Fred thinks of me between now and then? Maybe drop a hint or two…"

Varian rolled his eyes, "I'm not playing messenger."

Carol stuck out her bottom lip and gave a pleading look.

"Fine." Varian conceded. "But unless you're waving a comic book in front of his face I don't think you're going to get him to notice." He warned.

"Comic book fan, gottcha." She dismissed the warning. "There's tons of guys here who are into those. There's even a sequential art program here at the school."

"You don't get it. Fred doesn't just like comic books...he lives comic books. You should see his room."

"Oooh should now?" She teased.

"I didn't mean… forget it."

She laughed again, "I thought you weren't jealous?"

"I'm not." He said defensively. "Look I'll ask, but just don't get your hopes up, that's all I'm saying. Fred's...well…he.. doesn't pick up hints very well."

"So I need to be even more obvious?"

"Or just more up front."

She furrowed her brow in thought. "Hmmm...ok, then I'll keep that in mind for next time. Thanks again, Varian, your a good friend and night."

He returned the farewell as she closed the door.