#(note: first 2 are from s1 and last 2 are from s2)

[markanddebbie-protectionprogram]

starting a collection ✨✨✨✨

[erwinsvow]

𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥

summary: you were a pogue, and now you're a kook. just like how once you were no one's, and now you're rafe cameron's.

author's note: here it is!!! imagine like s1 rafe with the s2 hair, and basically just having a former-pogue girlfriend through out the whole season. i just think rafe would actually be such a good boyf, he just needs someone to settle him down when he gets a lil crazy. follows the sequence of s1 until about 3/4ths down, where i just started making stuff up. you might read this & think no one would act like this.. and that's fine, i know they wouldn't, but this is a self indulgent story for rafe <3 part 2 of the other seasons maybe? enjoy!!

now spinning: black beauty by lana del rey (soooooo rafe coded! he just needs a hug and some pussy!)

word count: 13.5k

warnings/tags: wheeze is a toddler for no reason. reader isn't the biggest fan of the pogues at this point in time. smut: oral (f receiving), fingering, degregation, use of daddy, rafe calls reader kid because <3, lemme know if i forgot something!

“So that’s it? Really? Your mom is marrying a Kook and you’re moving across the island… just like that?” John B speaks to you as if you had any choice in the matter. You look at him sadly, but you’ve cried so much the last few days, it’s hard to find any more tears.  

You want to tell him, want to explain everything. The way your mom has been so lonely for years, ever since your dad passed away. The way she would pull double-shifts every week just to make sure you had the nice, trendy shoes and hot dinner every night. The way you grew up in the cut but it never felt any different than growing up in figure eight, because she took care of you.

And now it was your turn, to take care of her. Blake Richards was rich, and he wanted to take care of your mom, which meant for the first time in a long time, she would be the one being taken care of. And you owed that to her, you owed that much.

“I-I don’t really have a choice, John B. I mean, this is my mom. And she’s getting her chance to be happy. I can’t ruin it for her.”

“Yeah, I get all that but, like, does this mean you’re gonna go full-Kook on us? Because I think that would just be disturbing,” JJ says, and you crack a smile, even as you feel a tear spill down your cheek. 

“I don’t think I could ever go full-Kook.” It comes out quietly, a notch above a whisper.

“Hey, hey,” you hear John’s voice again, as he stands up to get closer to you. You feel embarrassed, the way your cheeks flush and heat up when he’s only a few inches away from you. He wipes the tear away with his thumb. “No crying, okay? Nothing has to change.”

The way he says it, you almost believe him.

“Right,” you say, still quiet. There’s a sob stuck behind your throat, and you don’t want the boys to know how upset you really are. You’ve stitched up these boys more times than you can count, set shoulders and bones and nursed bruises for them. “Nothing has to change,” you repeat, trying to convince yourself. Everything was about to change, starting with your relationship with them.

And that’s the one thing you wish could stay the same. Deep down, no matter how many times you were teased and laughed with, there was a part of you, buried away, that thought you would end up with one of these boys one day. Sweet John, funny JJ, smart Pope. Well, maybe not Pope. You’ve seen the way he stares at Kie, even when no one else notices.

But John and JJ, the possibility of being with one of them always lingered in the air. Even when they’re flirting with tourists or cracking so-called boy jokes that you just wouldn’t understand, you always thought they were your endgame.

If only you knew. 

Pope and Kiara drive up, just as you’re wiping away another tear. You’re dreading repeating everything to them, shedding more tears. 

౨ৎ

“Who is that?” Topper asks, eyeing some girl entering the club. Rafe was getting sick of Topper crying over every pretty girl he saw on the street when he was supposedly dating his sister. He hardly cared about Sarah, daddy’s favorite, but that was his family, and he wouldn’t tolerate disrespect to his family. 

“She must be fresh meat,” Kelce says, “I’ve never seen her before.”

“Tourist?” Topper questions. Rafe downs the rest of his drink. 

“Nah, man, see that guy ahead of her? That’s Blake Richards. My dad works with him, he’s a big finance guy. He’s a widower, but I guess not anymore.” 

“Step-daughter? Jesus,” Topper says. “It’s like a cheesy porno. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he married her mom to tap that, I mean-”

“Enough,” Rafe snaps. “Shouldn’t you be in a fight with my sister?” Topper blanches. 

“I mean, look at her Rafe. That is something special,” Kelce says, and then finally, Rafe lifts his head to look at you.

You look… confused. Your head is turning, taking in everything about the club, like you’d never been there before. A waiter comes up to your family with tall glasses of water, little pieces of cucumber and lemon floating around in them with ice cubes. Richards—your step-father—takes a glass and hands it to a woman who can only be your mother, with the same hair and complexion. Before he can take a glass to hand to you, you take it from the tray yourself, smiling and saying thank you. The waiter, some teenage Pogue, blushes at your affection.

When you start walking, continuing the tour, the waiter turns to look at you walk away, gawking like men do when they see something pretty. Rafe feels an overwhelming urge to punch the kid, and cover you up with his jacket. 

You’re not in anything too immodest, compared to what he’s seeing girls at the club walking around in, but it feels like it’s too much for the leering eyes that follow you. Your jean skirt comes down a little less than half-way to your thighs. Your shirt is white, with puffy sleeves and little buttons that tighten around the chest.

He sees a glimpse of cleavage, which makes his chest tighten uncomfortably, not in the way he’s used to when he sees a pretty girl. He wants to take his shirt off his back and slide it onto you, buttoning it up all the way and making sure no one else looks at you the way he’s looking at you right now.

“Rafe?” his friend calls, and he’s not sure which one. In your glancing, you turn towards Rafe and you lock eyes for a second. You must have noticed him staring. You probably think he’s crazy, but he doesn’t seem to care much at the moment. Your mother must have beckoned you, because you turn away in a second, walking towards the older couple, trailing behind them again.

“Be right back,” he says, leaving a confused Topper and Kelce behind him at the table. He cuts through the tables near the bar, entering the walkway where your family is already, but coming out of the other end. He gets there just in time to run into Richards, who’s leading the little group.

“Hi, Mr. Richards, right?” he says, holding his hand out. “Rafe Cameron.”

“Oh, Rafe, hi,” the older man replies, shaking his hand. Rafe grips hard, making sure Richards doesn’t think he has a wimpy handshake. Otherwise he’s never gonna agree to what Rafe has in mind. “I haven’t seen you in years, I mean you were half your height last time I was over at Tannyhill.”

“Crazy, right? Well I just wanted to say hi since I ran into you. How’s, uh Benny and Brax?” 

“I can’t believe you remember them, they haven’t been to Kildare in years. They’re good, yeah, Benny’s in California now, and Brax is out at law school, at Oxford.”

“Oh yeah, international law, right?”

“Yeah,” Richards says, smiling wide. “You’ve got quite a memory, son, I’ll have to tell Rafe when I see him.”

“Oh yeah, he’s around here somewhere.” Then, he makes his move. He turns his gaze to your mom first. He thinks about it briefly, but if he addresses you before her, your mom will be on guard. He knows how their minds work. “I don’t believe we’ve met before, I’m Rafe,” and he shakes your mom’s hand, but turns back to Richards for the introduction—something else in his little cheat-sheet of rules. Let dad do the talking, so he feels like he’s in control. 

“Rafe, this is my wife, Anna-”

“Nice to meet you, Rafe,” your mom smiles at him sweetly, and he smiles back. 

“-and my step-daughter.” You smile, and hold your hand out. He shakes your hand, gently, and looks at your face, because he can tell the smile is forced. He wonders why. 

“Nice to meet you.” he says, and you smile that forced way again.

“You too, Rafe.” You let go of his hand, and it’s good, because if he held on any longer, the adults would get suspicious.

“First time here?” he questions, still looking at you.

“Yes,” your mother answers, laughing, if not a little uncomfortably. “Is it that obvious?”

“Nah, it’s a lot to take in, I remember that much.” Richards smiles at him, almost beaming. He knows Rafe has been coming here since he could walk. That means the old man appreciates him trying to comfort his new family. Another step closer.

“It is,” Anna says, looking at her daughter. She has those worried eyes, the one Ward’s new wife won’t stop looking at him with. 

“Well, it’s the perfect place to be all summer. I mean, pretty much everyone our age is at the pool or the courts.” At his mention of the both of you, you look up from staring at your shoes quickly to looking right at him. He smiles. You don’t smile back. 

“Really?” Richards asks, still openly friendly.

“I mean yeah, Mister R, I remember Benny on the golf course, like, everyday. And Brax, I mean he practically taught half of us how to swim.” Richards nods and laughs, continuing small talk about his sons. Rafe sneaks another glance at you, and you look back knowingly, like you can smell his intentions from a mile away. 

“Honey?” your mom asks quietly. “Do you wanna go with Rafe?”

“What?” you reply quickly, surprised. You weren’t listening, and he tries hard not to laugh.

“Well, I can take you ‘round, introduce you to everyone. I’ll finish the tour if you and Mrs. Richards are heading up to the course?” He nods at the golf clothes your parents have on, that you are lacking. 

“I think that sounds great, right, honey?” Anna presses, and after you lock eyes with her, you nod in agreement.

“Yeah, sure,” you say quietly. Rafe smiles again.

“Great, great, yeah. Well, it was great to see you Mister R. Missus R.”

“Thank you, Rafe. Kiddo, you can ask for the car to go home when you’re ready, okay? Your mother and I are going to get dinner here.” Anna looks up confused, probably wondering how they’ll get back.

“I’ll call someone to bring the car back, honey,” he explains, and your mom smiles.

“I can also take her back,” Rafe interjects. “Tannyhill is the same direction, and I’m headed back anyways. If you wanna leave the car here.”

“Really, Rafe, that would be great, thank you.” You look even angrier than before, but the plastic smile spread over your face doesn’t faze them.

“Right, thanks, Blake. Bye mom,” you say, and then lean over to kiss her on the cheek.

You watch them walk away, chewing your cheek and turning back to Rafe with anger splashed all over your pretty features. 

“I can’t believe that worked on them,” you tell him quietly, smiling when your mom turns back to look at you before they turn the corner. Your parents were too gullible sometimes.

“Yeah, me either, kid.”

“Don’t call me that,” you reply right away. “And despite what you think, I’m not touring this place with you. I’m probably never coming back here after today.” You start walking away, in the opposite direction of your parents, when he chases behind you.

“Y’know, I don’t get you. Every girl your age lounges around here all day, and everyone else wishes they could.”

“Well, you know what they say,” you start, smiling sweetly, though he sees through it again. “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”

“Really?” he shrugs. “Never heard that before.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t have.” 

“Come on, you’re not even giving me a chance. You don’t even know me.” You laugh at that.

“Yes, I do, Rafe, you just don’t recognize me.” You continue your brisk pace, looking for the exit and getting closer. He reaches out to grab your forearm, holding you back for a second. He guides you into the corner, between the hallway where there’s no one else around.

“Yeah, that so?” Rafe is almost caging you in. He’s so close you can smell his cologne and the scotch on his lips.

“I’m from Kildare, Rafe.” You try to break free of his grip, but it proves even harder than you thought. He holds you in place without even breaking a sweat.

“No, no, no, because I know every pretty girl in Kildare. And you’ve definitely never been here before, so-”

“Really? Even the ones from the cut?” You thought that would be enough to get him to drop your arm, but he doesn’t budge.

“Huh. So that’s why you’ve never been here. Old Man Richards married a Pogue and made her daughter into a Kook? Did I get that right?”

“I’m not a Kook,” you say, squirming, because you still don’t want to be trapped by him. His cologne smells good, your mind wanders and thinks, like ocean air and sandalwood. You snap out of it at once.

“Not yet, you’re not.” 

“I’m not going to be, either. A little money isn’t going to change anything for me.”

“Yeah, yeah, kid. That’s what everyone says, ‘til it does.”

“Rafe, let go of me, I said let go-” And he does let go, quickly, and your arm falls. Faint red marks appeared when he was holding on, what can only be a bruise tomorrow. He’s marked you, and you’re not half as angry as you would have thought. 

“Come on, kid, we’re finishing this tour. I promised,” he says, and the last bit is so mocking, you can’t believe mom and Blake fell for his act. 

He takes you around the entire club, shows you the restaurants, the spa, the pool. At least a handful of girls stare at the two of you walking side by side, but Rafe doesn’t look back at anyone. You don’t know how to feel about that.

The oldest Cameron isn’t a mystery to anyone in Kildare, but you don’t know anything about him besides what the boys have told you. JJ hates him, naturally, John doesn’t let you look at him in passing, and even Pope can find a few bad things to say. But right now, he’s not doing any of those things you would have expected once he found out you and your mom are from the other side of the island. The crude jokes and gold-digger comments are nowhere to be heard.

But you can’t write him off completely yet. After all, this is Rafe Cameron.

He finishes the tour on the golf course, so you can wave to your parents on the course. You’re sipping on a lemonade through a little pink straw, and he finds it hard to look away when your cheeks hollow to draw up the liquid. Your mom and Blake wave back, and you smile—genuinely—for maybe the third time that morning. 

“They’re good together,” Rafe comments, on the walk back to the front door, where his truck is waiting. 

“Do you really think that?” you ask quietly. You’re tired, he can tell, drained from trying so hard to make sure he knows you hate him. 

“Yeah, kid, I do. He’s been a widower basically my whole life. And he married your mom, so he must really love her.”

You can’t tell if he’s just saying it to get on your good side. You hope he’s not. Through all of this, all the crying and the suffering and how much you miss your old life and your friends, if your mom doesn’t at least end up happy, it’ll all have been for nothing. You feel more tears brewing.

“Thanks, Rafe,” you end up saying quietly, as you put on the seat belt in the passenger seat of his truck. His music plays softly in the background of the drive - rap, something you've heard before but can't place - back to Blake’s house. With your window down, you stare out of it and try to pay attention to the breeze in your hair rather than the entirely overwhelming scent of Rafe, which is all-consuming in his car.

Rafe turns to look at you every few minutes. You look perfectly in place in his car, leaning against the panel with your eyes closed. That means you trust him, even though every word you say makes him think otherwise.

Your eyes flutter open when he puts the car in park, outside the door to your house. 

“Home sweet home, kid,” you hear his voice in your ear, but he sounds closer than he should be. When you turn to look, he’s leaning over you and so close to you, you feel the heat radiating from his body. 

“What’re you doing?” you ask quickly, heartbeat picking up and rocketing off. 

“M’just getting the door for you, kid.” His arm flexes, only an inch or two away from your chest, pulling the handle and swinging open the door. He leans back into his seat, smirking. “Why, what'd ya think I was gonna do?”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in and swallow uncomfortably. Your throat feels dry and your palms are suddenly clammy.

“Nothing.” 

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

You climb out of his car, shoes hitting the ground a little too hard. He strains his neck, trying to make sure you’re okay. 

“Thanks for the ride,” you say, not meeting his eyes, closing the door behind you. 

“Anytime, kid. I’ll be seeing you around.”

You thought he would take over the second the passenger-side door was shut, but he doesn’t. He stays and watches you fix your skirt that had ridden-up on the drive, and walk into the front door, glancing behind you, just for a second, before going inside. And then you hear the roar of the engine, only after the door was closed and you were safely inside.

౨ৎ

You didn’t take it literally, that you would be seeing him again. Rafe seems like the type to play with his toys and get bored before long, but true to his word, you see him days later. And to his luck, you were feeling even worse than the first time you met him.

The morning started like any other—showering in a bathroom that’s just yours, and no one else’s, and attached to your bedroom. You can hardly remember the years when your dad was alive, but after he passed, you and your mom moved into a tiny two-bed, one-bath with your mom’s best friend. You were there for the next five years, until she got married and moved out, and it was just the two of you. But even in all the years since, you’ve never had your own bathroom until now. 

You shower as long as you want, whenever you want. Your room is in a completely different hallway than the master, where Blake and your mom sleep. You blast music at night, singing along off-tune from the bathroom, and would stay on the phone for hours with your friends. If anyone answered your calls anymore. 

It’s been three weeks since you broke the news to everyone that you were moving. Two weeks since you actually moved. One week since Rafe walked you around the country club and drove you back home, like you belonged to him. In that time, you’ve driven down to the Chateau twice, walked by Kie’s house, which is now just a few blocks away, and texted multiple times—all with no responses. At first you panic, thinking something’s happened, but then you realize this was what always happened. When you’re off on an adventure, you don’t think about who’s waiting for you back at home.

That’s what’s running through your mind when you run into Rafe again that day.

You had showered without interruption, taking your time doing your hair up just because you felt like it. There was no work to be done, no chores assigned to you anymore. Breakfast was always prepared when you went downstairs, so you took your time getting ready now. 

You missed a lot of things about your old life, but the limited time and constant rushing and anxiety were not among them. 

Your clothes were picked out with the anticipation of seeing your best friends again, your favorite overalls from the thrift store—which had been bought when you were still two sizes too small for them, and had been baggy on you until last year, but they were such a steal your mother refused to let you put them back—and a yellow shirt to match your ratty, yellow converse. They had been washed so many times they were more brown than yellow, but it didn’t matter much. 

This outfit was the old you, and it brought up feelings inside you that nothing in figure eight could change. You wore it because you wouldn’t look any different to your friends in this outfit, and for maybe a few hours, you wouldn’t be the girl in the fancy house with the country club membership anymore.

“You look nice, sweetie,” your mom says, when you head downstairs. She’s drinking her coffee at the table, your step-dad nowhere to be found. It’s eleven in the morning and she’s just woken up too, in her robe and slippers, and you smile, watching her more relaxed than you’ve seen in years.

You swing by her side of the table to give her a kiss, and steal a piece of toast from her plate. You’re relieved she doesn’t mention your clothes, not when she keeps offering to take you shopping with Blake’s money, which you keep refusing, but is getting more tempting every time you step in a puddle in these shoes.

“Thanks mom, I’m going to see the boys and Kie, I’ll be back later, don’t wait up!” and with that you’re gone, before you can discern the disapproving look in her eyes. 

Your junky old car, older than you by several years and still somehow the nicest thing you own—used to own, a voice chirps in the back of your head—is hidden around several fancy cars in the driveway. It’s intentional, you’re sure, and likely your mother’s doing. Nothing embarrassed her more than you handing out constant reminders of your old life to everyone around you.

And then you’re on the way to the Chateau, windows down and no music, since there was no way to connect your phone and the radio was busted by Pope a year ago, who claims he was trying to fix it. 

But it’s what happens when you get there that embarasses you the most—no one’s there, and no one will answer your call. You wait around for a half hour, trying to see if they come back, but they don’t. 

And that’s when it hits you. They were off on their adventures, and you weren’t just down the street anymore, which meant you weren’t invited. You get back in your car and slam the door, humiliated, tears falling down your face and probably ruining the makeup you had done, stupidly, this morning, because you wanted to look nice for them, like your old self for them. You don’t realize until later, after you were done crying, and seen Rafe again, that your friends didn’t want to bother you while you were adjusting to your new life. 

You feel betrayed, and the words that John had told you rattle through your head, because he was wrong. Everything had changed, and nothing would be the same. 

You take off, heading back home. There’s a big storm brewing and your Accord gets dramatic in the rain. It’s not until you cross the border back into figure eight that you realize two things. One, that you had just thought of your new house as home for the first time. And two, that you had never felt more alone. 

There’s not much to do about either of these feelings, besides stopping for the biggest bowl of ice cream you can reasonably carry back home, and eating it in your room, crying and watching You’ve Got Mail for the hundredth time.

So that’s what you do, pulling into the ice cream shop closest to home. Your car also doesn’t have the greatest functioning air conditioner, and you don’t need any more questionable stains in your seats, considering how many times JJ had borrowed it and returned it, promising you it’s nothing and that that spot in the back seat was always there!

In line, tapping your foot, calling your mom’s cell. Your eyes are puffy and your nose is red from crying. She’s not answering, but the unspoken rule of your little family is to always, always call when you’re getting ice cream in case the other wants something. You’ve only been gone something like two hours, and you can’t imagine what she’s doing that she can’t answer your phone. You dial Blake’s number, hoping he answers instead, and while it’s ringing you realize it’s your turn to order. You haven’t even looked at the menu yet. 

You turn to the people behind you, telling them they can go in front, but when you look up from your phone, you almost drop it. 

Of course it’s Rafe Cameron behind you. Of course. Who else would it be? Who else would keep catching you at your lowest moments? He’s with a little girl, who can’t be older than four or five, with dark hair and glasses, holding his hand patiently while staring up at you, while you stare at him and he stares back.

“Rafe, she said we can go in front,” she says, tugging on the hand she’s holding. 

“Yeah, Wheeze, I heard. Let’s go order and then thank this nice girl for letting us go ahead, right?” The little girl nods, and follows him up to order. Rafe looks back at you but then your step-dad answers, so you turn away, cheeks heating up. You don’t want him to see.

“Hi, what’s going on?” you hear his voice through the phone, sort of staticky and jumbled. 

“Hi, Blake, I just wanted to ask if you and mom wanted ice cream? I’m at the place… yeah, the one near the house.”

“Oh, yes, let me ask her, one second-” You hear him put the phone down, or cover the mic, and then, “Honey! Kiddo’s asking if you want ice cream.” 

You feel yourself soften a little bit at the nickname. And then you hear your mom and Blake talking back and forth, for what feels like ages. The girl behind the counter looks at you with a glare and you try to look back at her with an apologetic smile, but you’re a little fed-up from the emotional turmoil you’ve just endured. 

“Hi, sweetie, I’m okay, I had some at the club with lunch and twice in a day is just not a good idea-”

“Just get it, who cares? We can have it later tonight too-”

“What if the power goes out? It’ll melt, and then it’s just a waste of money-” Crap. You hadn’t thought of that.

“We have generators for that.” Blake picks up the phone again. “Hey, kiddo, get your mom her usual and make sure you use the card I gave you, okay?”

You hang up the phone, smiling, and then order. It feels weird, being oddly comforted by someone other than your mom or your friends for once. In your distraction, you don’t see Rafe and the little girl hovering near the freezer window that showcases all the ice cream they offer. When you’re reaching for the shiny black Amex, you hear him again. 

“I got it, kid,” Rafe says, pressing his matching card against the reader and pushing your wrist down and away. He does it so easily, without trying, just like he did in the country club. You look up at him stupidly, brain not registering what he just did and why he did it, and you don’t move for a moment. You don’t move until he leans down a little, close enough to smell that enticing cologne again but not nearly close enough. 

“I think the words you’re looking for are ‘thank you’. And you should probably get out of the way.” You blink back up at him, and he’s smirking again. You feel kind of stupid, the way he’s talking to you, but you also don’t mind as much as you thought you would. The girl behind the counter yells out Next! and that’s when Rafe takes you by the arm, just above where he had bruised you, and moves you away himself.

“You okay, kid?” he asks, and you feel yourself melt like ice cream left in your car for too long. You don’t know if he really means it, or if he really cares, but you do know Rafe Cameron needs to stop talking to you like he likes you, or you’re going to be in trouble.

“Fine, yeah. Thanks, uh, thanks for the ice cream.” You’re still blinking slowly, stupidly, stuck in a daze. You should really get it together around him. It’s a little pathetic if a strong grip and a couple of nice actions gets you acting like this. That’s a problem for another day right now.

“Is she okay, Rafe?” the little girl asks quietly from beside him. 

“No idea, Wheezie. Why don’t you sit and eat your ice cream?” he replies, and she sits down a few tables away, beginning to shovel chocolate ice cream with a tiny wooden spoon.

“Hey,” he says, and you begin to snap out of it. It’s raining outside now. You hear the pitter-patter of the drops on the roof. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yes. I am. I just had a bad morning. Sorry.” But you don’t know what you’re apologizing for.

“Well, are you gonna talk about it and shit? ‘Cause I don’t know you that well yet but you’re kinda freaking me out right now.”

“I-I…I just-”

“You, you, you just?” he mocks, and then when tears fill your pretty eyes and he sees one slip down your face, his own eyes panic briefly. “Hey, hey, I was just joking, kid-” He pulls out a colorful chair for you, and sits you down next to Wheezie, who is still eating ice cream at an alarming rate. Your ice cream is ready at the counter, and he brings it down next to you, holding his own strawberry cone in his hand. 

“Hold this for me Wheeze,” he says, not really asking, and the little girl shakes her head right away.

“How’m I gonna eat mine then?” 

“Wheezie,” Rafe says, in a voice that you haven’t heard him use before—and then you realize how stupid you sound. You’ve talked with him twice, you don’t know anything about the voices he uses or how he sounds when he’s talking to this girl who can only be his little sister. 

“Can I have some?” Wheezie propositions back, and Rafe nods. “Okay!” she says, taking a bite of the scoop with her front teeth.

“So, y’gonna tell me what’s going on or am I gonna have to guess everything?” 

“My friends, I just keep missing them, or they keep missing me, maybe. I just wanted to see them. It’s really lonely here, that’s all.” You’re staring into his eyes, his really, really blue eyes that are currently a little alarmed and concerned, and the fact that they’re that way for you is making you a little dizzy. 

“Yeah, I get that. Sorry, kid, that’s the lay of the land, right? Not a Pogue anymore, are you?” 

“I don’t know what I am.” You feel silly and embarrassed for pouring your heart out over ice cream with Rafe Cameron. He doesn’t know you, and he never will.

“Well, right now you have a choice. You can sit here and eat ice cream with us, or you can go home and cry about it alone. But if you choose the second one, Richards and Anna will see you, or hear you, and ask about it. And I’m not gonna keep asking if you don’t wanna talk. So pick one before this shi-stuff melts, okay?” 

You nod dumbly again. You’d like to turn your brain off and let Rafe decide for you. 

“I need a spoon.” He smiles, not smirks, for a second, before getting up to get you a spoon.

A few things float through your mind while you eat ice cream with the Camerons. First, Rafe remembers your mom’s name. Second, Rafe doesn’t swear in front of his kid sister. And third, and most important of all, Rafe Cameron cares about you.

“That’s a lot of ice cream,” Wheeze, or rather—as you’ve just learned—Wheezie, comments.

“I was feeling really sad,” you reply, shoving another spoonful into your mouth, watching the little girl eye your peanut and chocolate ice cream inquisitively. “You’ll understand someday.”

“Boy problems?” she asks, and you can’t help but crack a smile. Rafe looks up from his phone momentarily 

“Not really, but a good guess. This would also apply to that situation.”

“My sister’s always got boy problems.”

“Really?” you ask, and then look up Rafe. “You have another sister?”

“Yes,” he says, in between licks of strawberry ice cream. You should really look away when he does that, because your heart rate is picking up. “And she’s even more annoying than this one.”

You laugh while Wheezie frowns.

“If I’m so annoying, why do you always take me for ice cream, huh?”

“She’s got you there, Rafe,” and you resist the urge to look at him, even when you can feel his eyes on you. 

“Because you wouldn’t stop asking, dork, that’s why.” Wheezie shrugs in reply.

“I’m not gonna finish all of this. You want some, Wheezie?” you ask, offering her your spoon. She looks back at you smiling, and then at Rafe for permission, who nods.

She digs into the pile left, while you finally give into the urge to look up at her brother again. He takes another lick of his ice cream and you look away within a second. 

“Been eating that for a while, haven’t you, Rafe?”

“Yeah.” 

Somewhere in between Wheezie eating so much of the ice cream so quickly that she gets a brain freeze, and Rafe finally tossing his half-eaten cone into the trash, it’s time to go home. And as much as you hate to admit it, you don’t want to leave. The rain is coming down hard outside, a preview of the impending hurricane.

“Drive here, kid?” he asks, as your feet hesitate by the door. 

“No,” Wheezie answers, “I came here with you, dork.”

“Not talking to you, kid,” he replies, rustling the top of her hair with his hand, getting an ugh, Rafe, in response.

“Yeah. Yes, I drove here. But my car doesn’t do so good in the rain.”

“Huh?” he questions.

“It’s old, okay. Junky. The AC is broken. And the radio. Sometimes she just stops, y’know?” You gesture to your blue car parked out front, the rusty, tiny sedan two spots down from his shiny truck.

“No, I don’t know. Richards lets you drive around in that thing?”

“She.”

“It’s a car. Barely, at that.”

“She has a name, okay. HoHo. That’s her name.”

“Alright, well, you’re gonna have to ditch the hoe, because I can’t let you drive home in a hurricane in… that.” You turn to glare at him. “Her, sorry.”

That’s how you end up soaking wet in the passenger seat of Rafe’s truck, Wheezie secured in her booster seat and Rafe even wetter than you are. He drops you home and says the two of you can go pick up your car tomorrow—if it’s still there, he adds at the end, leaning over you again to open your door. You stare at him dumbly again, which has now become a bad habit, and it’s not until Wheezie says you’re getting her wet in the back that you finally climb out and close the door. You stand behind the front door with your mom’s melted ice cream in one hand, and your phone with Rafe’s contact saved in the other, wondering what exactly just happened. 

౨ৎ

The next few weeks pass through as quickly as they came. Your car—to your chagrin and your mother’s joy—does not survive the hurricane. Blake gives you a fancy, luxury car to drive around in that he just had laying around, which you don’t believe for one second. But, your mom is pleased when you actually start driving it, and you can actually listen to music from your phone and enjoy air conditioning and the most luxurious of luxuries—a backup camera. 

The night of the ice cream shop incident, Rafe texts you. You were completely ready to wallow in bed, waiting for the text from him that never comes, drowning your sorrow in more ice cream, but he does text you. First and right away. 

R: Is it wrong if I hope hoho drowns tonight?

that’s so mean. she never did anything to you.

R: She’s kinda ugly. And what was that about no ac?

so she deserves death????

R: The impound lot at the very least

if she dies, it’ll be because YOU manifested it

R: Never thought I’d believe in that manifesting shit, but here we are

did Wheezie eat dinner after how much ice cream you let her inhale?

R: No.

R: Ur fault. You gave her yours

you gave her yours too

and btw, I offered her a bite. she ate the rest. not my fault

R: She’s five, genius

R: I’ll come around noon tomorrow. Sleep tight kid

౨ৎ

Somewhere in between picking up your car—which entailed no less than stopping for lunch, even more ice cream that you can’t stand to watch him eat, and driving through town to see how bad the damage from hurricane Agatha was, and altogether three hours together ending with a wet, heated kiss in his truck with the windows fogged up—and today, you’ve been with Rafe more times than you can count. 

And you try hard to suppress the thought that it’s just because he’s available, that the availability is the reason for your attraction. And then you catch yourself trying to justify why you want to see Rafe so much, this guy that you had just been assuming was bad because your friends told you he was bad, without much in the way of an explanation. 

But Rafe is the furthest thing from bad. He’s so sweet to you it makes you delirious. He picks you up all the time, even when you tell him you’re just at home, and your car is right there. He pays for everything, he opens every door, the gentle but teasing way he is with Wheezie makes you even more head over heels.

But most important of all, he calls you first. He texts you first. He makes you feel wanted, and you definitely, definitely, want him, so you don’t think twice before saying yes to accompanying him to Midsummers. 

You actually don’t know what it really is, besides for a big party. It was always one of the worst nights at the hospital—litters of teens with alcohol poisoning and from car accidents— so your mom would be working. When you turned eighteen, your mom paid for classes to become a junior nurse, and so busy nights like the one of Midsummers usually was, you would get called in too. So before this week, you’d never spent Midsummers doing anything other than cleaning wounds and fetching suture kits.

You tell Rafe this and he looks at you strangely, another of his looks you hadn’t seen before, with furrowed brows, and you flush and apologize, regretting even opening your mouth. 

You know you’re deeper than you thought when he takes your head between his hands and kisses you—messy, with tongue and spit left glimmering over your mouth, so much so that he wipes the corner of your mouth with his thumb when he’s done. 

“Go get yourself a pretty dress, and we’ll have fun, yeah?” You nod stupidly again, the way you’re prone to doing around him. He must have realized you get a kick out being told what to do by him, what to worry about and what to focus on. 

You finally take your mom up on the offer to go shopping. Her and your step-dad are going to this thing anyways, but you can tell she wasn’t completely sure you’d go to something so Kook-y, maybe not just yet, and she doesn’t want to push it since your mood finally seems to have picked up. But then you tell her Rafe asked you to go with him, and the two of you smile and jump around the living room, laughing like kids. She’s happy for you and you’re happy that the two of you are happy at the same time.

Rafe sends you money for a dress—enough money to pay for a month’s rent at your old place. Your mom says your step-dad insists on paying. You feel like things are coming together for the first time.

You wander the stores, trying on different dresses and feeling like a scene out of a movie until you finally find the perfect blue dress. Blue for Rafe’s eyes and his suit jacket, because you’re not embarrassed to admit to him that you want to match for Midsummers. It’s patterned with little flowers, ruffles and lace moving in the wind when you twirl, and for once, you stop feeling like you need to pick a side to be on—Pogue or Kook—and you decide just to be Rafe’s for now.

The night of the party, Rafe offers to pick you up, but you tell him you’ll come with your parents. They’re both wearing shades of peach and salmon, the three of you together look like you’re headed to a baby shower, which you and your mom laugh about in the car ride there. 

You text Rafe to let him know you’re there, and tell your parents you’re going to walk around to find him. When you glance back, they’re talking with some of Blake’s friends, people he had invited to the wedding.

You see, what you can only think, is a glimpse of Pope, in his usual waiter get up, but he disappears before you can see where he was. His father is still there, though, and you make your way through the crowd to get near him.

“Hi, Mr. Heyward,” you say, smiling and unsure if he’ll recognize you. You don’t think he’s ever seen you in anything but your overalls or scrubs. 

“How can I help yo-wait, is that you, well I’ll be damned. You’re blending right in, aren’t ya?”

“Well, it took long enough.” You suddenly feel embarrassed, because he knows the old you, the one who wouldn’t be here in a million years. “Do you know where Pope is? I thought I saw him, I just wanted to say hi.”

“He just went off that way, but if you see him, tell him I still need his help over here, just like I did before he walked away—”

“Can I help with anything?” you ask quickly, but he shakes his head and tells you the direction Pope went in.

You follow it generally, trying to see where he could have gone in such a short time. But then you see all of them, and you can’t stop your feet from running over. Kie, JJ, and Pope, all standing and talking about something, but you don’t really care about interrupting. Kie’s all dressed up too, and you suddenly don’t feel so embarrassed.

“You guys,” you feel yourself gushing. “It’s been so long,” and you go in for a hug with each of them. 

“Wow, god, you look so pretty,” Kie says, and you hug her again. You don’t realize how much you missed her. 

“You too, Kie,” your smile is so wide it starts to hurt. “Isn’t this so weird, all of us here at this party? Where’s John B?” you ask, looking around. 

“So weird,” JJ says, and you notice the bruise around his right eye because he’s turning to look at Kie again. 

“JJ, what the hell happened to your face?” JJ doesn’t answer, he actually doesn’t say anything at all, which should have been your first sign that something was wrong. You look at him quizzically, before turning to Pope.

“Pope, your dad’s looking for you, I just went over to say hi-”

“Oh crap,” he says, heading back in the direction you just came from. “Sorry, be right back.”

“W-what the hell is going on?” you question Kie and JJ, searching for any answer, desperately hoping that it isn’t we don’t wanna tell you. Your phone goes off, twice, and you pick it up. The look on your face must have been beyond palpable to your friends.

R🧸ྀི: Come inside the house

R🧸ྀི: Got a surprise for you

“I-I gotta go inside,” you say, looking at the confused faces of your friends.

“What’s inside? I thought-”

“No, nothing, I don’t know, Rafe just asked me to go inside, and I haven’t even seen him yet-”

“Rafe? What, Rafe Cameron?”

“Y-yeah?”

“What are you, with him, or something?” JJ asks, and you feel your heart fall into your stomach.

“I-I yeah, maybe. I’m here with him tonight, he-” Your phone goes off again. “I’m sorry, I have to go find him, but I’ll come find you guys right after, okay?”

You leave the two of them there, looking at each other confused, looking at you like they don’t recognize you. And it stings, for a moment, until you get inside the mansion and find Rafe hanging out by the entrance, nursing a glass of scotch and eyes lighting up when they see you. 

Everything with him is like that scene from that movie. Lights go dim, you walk in slow-motion, the room goes quiet. He watches you walk up to him and his eyes take in everything—your pretty hair, your dolled up face, the way your dress moves when you walk, and most of all, that you’re here with him. He reaches his hand out to grab you by the waist to bring you in for a kiss. It’s not like the others, it’s chaste and soft and romantic. 

“Hi,” you breathe out, resting your forehead against his.

“Hi, kid. You look fantastic,” and he presses another sweet kiss to your temple. 

“We’re matching,” you say with a smile, taking in his blue suit jacket and the way you feel dizzy right now, and you feel his grip tighten around your waist. 

“Yeah, we are. Now get in line with me, we’re walking out together.” Your eyes are big like coins, because you understood that you were coming here together, but this is his family’s big night, if everything your mom and Blake told you was to be taken seriously.

You don’t have time to say anything, because Rafe’s nice parents line up ahead of you, and his two sisters behind you. Wheezie tugs on your dress and you turn to greet her and Sarah quickly, because then the doors open and you’re walking out, following Rafe’s lead, lots and lots of eyes on you, but only one pair of blue ones you really care about. 

You almost want to cry, the whole thing is so magical. You have a flute of champagne and a sip of Rafe’s scotch, and you are deliciously tipsy for the next two hours. Your parents come over to talk to you and Rafe, and you can see how happy your mom is in her eyes. You and Rafe dance until your feet hurt, and it’s only then, when he leaves your sight, that things seem to get back down to how they normally are. 

You can’t find Wheezie’s parents or Sarah anywhere. The little girl spilled ice cream on her dress and is crying quietly, fat tears rolling down her chubby cheeks. You want to get her parents, because you think they can help, but you end up taking her to the bathroom yourself. With a damp paper towel, you wipe as much as you can, and you promise to get her another ice cream if she stops crying.

“It’s just a stain, honey, don’t worry.” You toss the dirty tissue and grab another one, wiping the tears and then letting her blow her nose. “It’ll come out when you wash it. And no one will notice because it’s so dark now, right?” She nods in agreement. “Do you wanna go find your big brother?” Another sad nod. “Let’s go honey,” and you take her hand and lead her back out. 

You’re not entirely sure what you missed in the last fifteen minutes. Everyone’s gone quiet, staring at what you hope is a trick of your eyes—all of your friends running from the party, hooting and hollering. Kiara’s parents look hopelessly upset, Mr. Heyward downright disappointed, and your mom scanning the crowd, trying to see where you are, until she spots you and Wheezie.

Her and Mrs. Cameron come running over, and you instinctively flinch, thinking the giant headpiece she’s wearing will poke you. You hand off Wheezie and turn to look at your friends, and you think, for a second, they’re waiting for you. They are, you realize slowly, waiting for you.

And you almost take off right then and there, until you feel Rafe’s warm hand on your shoulder, and you look up to see him bleeding.

At that moment, you turn right back around and head inside to the nearest room, sitting Rafe down on the bed and scrambling to find something to clean his wound with, and something cold to help the swelling, and in your panic, you don’t realize you’re rambling.

“I mean, what the hell was all of that? I turn around for two seconds and everyone’s running from the party like there’s a fire, and destroying things and throwing punches, I mean, I get they hate the whole Kook thing, but it was never like this before, even when I didn’t know you yet, and I-” you drop the frozen bag of peas onto the floor in your sudden realization. “I just let them leave. They waited for me. I didn’t go with them.” Your eyes fill with years. That’s a betrayal, not all the stupid stuff you thought was happening before tonight. They waited for you, and you turned right back around to go inside with Rafe.

“Hey, hey hey,” Rafe says quietly, taking your head in his hands again. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”

“You’re bleeding, Rafe,” you say, voice trembling. Your tears are ruining your makeup. 

“I’m gonna be fine. You know why?” he asks, and you feel more tears rush down. “Hey, hey, no crying.” Rafe wipes away the tears with his hand, then he brings his hands to your back and rubs soothingly. “You know why, kid?” “Why?” it comes out a whisper.

“Because you chose me. We’re gonna be fine, okay?” 

The way he says it you believe him. 

You spend the next two days at Tannyhill with Rafe, wearing nothing but his t-shirts and doing nothing but rolling around in bed. It’s been a month, maybe a little bit more, and you haven’t even had the talk yet—the sex talk. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’s not ready for it, but you’re not ready for it, not yet. You’re working on it. He doesn’t make it easy for you, either. You’ve spent hours now, making out in his lap, grinding against each other until you make a mess all over his shorts and his hair is sticking up in every direction, and working your way up to telling him what you want. 

You’re almost there. You’re waiting for the perfect time. Which was almost right now.

“You like that? Shit-” he breathes into your ear, pressing a kiss to the tender skin of your neck right underneath. It makes you moan again, louder, until he clamps a hand—the one not three fingers deep inside your leaking pussy—over your mouth, barricading the noise from leaving. “Gotta be quiet, kid, you want the whole house hearin’ what a little slut you are?” 

His blue eyes, lustful and blown, stare into your own. You shake your head softly underneath the tight grip of his palm. You’re always obedient with him, but he really likes you like this. 

“Yeah? You gonna do whatever daddy tells you? Just so I keep my fingers in this tight pussy?” You nod compliantly, head falling back on to the pillow. His fingers are thick, and the cool of his ring rubs against your clit in the best way, in ways you didn’t even realize it could feel.

He keeps fucking three fingers in and out of you, moans muffled by his hand but not completely silenced. You must be making a mess, because it’s what he keeps talking about, rambling about your messy cunt, greedy and sucking him in, and how you’ve been cumming for him like a little princess for the last two days, but it’s never enough for you. 

It’s when he removes his hand and kisses you hard instead, tongue deep inside you mouth, the metal of his chain dangling on your chin, and you feel the similarly cool metal of his ring on you, you finish again, exploding around your boyfriend’s fingers and moaning into his mouth. He hears you, repeating his name over and over again, not Rafe, but rather daddy, and he swallows your chants into his mouth. When you calm down, he makes a show of licking his fingers off while locking eyes, and then you get flustered and bury your head into his neck. 

He laughs, because it’s so cute, but only for a minute. Then you two shower together and he makes another show, but this time out of you, kneeling on the floor of his tub while he paints your face with his cum, making sure to cover the necklace you’ve been wearing recently too, the silver, loopy little R hanging between your collarbone. 

Then you get dressed—a little pink dress that’s been his favorite recently, with buttons down the front and a pretty bow where your tits sit— and the two of you have lunch with his family like nothing ever happened.

Rafe drops you back at home later that day, gives you a kiss where he grabs the back of your head to bring you in, and then waves bye to your parents as he unlatches the door for you, in his usual way. 

౨ৎ

A week later, he does the same thing. Drops you off, drives away once you’re inside, and you’re starstruck walking back, so much so, you don’t realize there’s someone waiting for you.

It’s Kie, and Rafe’s sister, Sarah. You’re a little confused since you thought the two of them didn’t get

along,  but they look like they’re fine now.

“Hey, listen, we need you to help us. Can you come down to the Chateau later tonight, after sunset?” Kie asks, and you must look as confused as you feel, because Sarah speaks right away, before you can get a word out.

“You cannot tell my brother. Promise us you won’t.”

“Why are you asking me that? Why can’t I tell him?” Sarah and Kie exchange a look, and it’s clear to you that you are missing several pieces of the puzzle. “Guys! Come on, you-you can’t expect me to just be on board with lying to my boyfriend and showing up to help you guys without knowing what it even is, right? What’s going on?”

“We will explain everything, just please promise us that you’ll come,” Kie implores and you nod hesitantly. 

“And you won’t tell Rafe?” Sarah asks again.

“Come on. Pogues for life, right?” Kie says, and you get a flashback to your life two months

ago—doing anything for your friends and dreaming of how you’d end up with one of the boys someday. It all seems like a million years ago.

“Yes, yeah, yeah, I’ll be there. I won’t tell him.”

You guess that God was on your side today. 

R🧸ྀི: Hey kid. Busy with my dad today. Dinner tomorrow okay?

sounds perfect!! don’t work too hard! i'm gonna watch a movie with my mom and blake and stay in tn

R🧸ྀི: You got mail again?

you know me so well

R🧸ྀི: Have fun princess.

You set down your phone on your dresser, feeling like you could throw up your dinner. It’s just starting to get dark outside, and you’ve just lied to Rafe for the first time since you’ve met him. It feels terrible, like something’s gnawing inside you, begging you to come clean and confess, or not to go out at all. You think about it for a moment, maybe if he knows you’re with some of your old friends, it won’t be like a real lie.

Then you remember your old friends are the ones who punched him. You tell your mom you’re going to Rafe’s, and then you get in your fancy car that Rafe helped you christen the other day—in the backseat, specifically—and drive to your old life.

You park next to the Twinkie and get out, stepping into a slush of mud. Your shoes are new, and were clean, and you cringe internally at how much you started caring about these things. You don’t want Rafe to see you with dirty shoes.

The boys and Kie are sitting on the logs near the fire pit. Sarah is sitting right next to John B, looking at him how you look at Rafe, and then you realize the magnitude of just how much you’ve missed.

“Hey,” Kie says, looking up first, smiling. “You came.”

“Yeah.” You’re at a loss for words. Everyone looks the same. Everything feels so different.

A part of you wants to sink down between Pope and JJ, crack a beer, and laugh at jokes you think you would still understand. Another part wants to get into the fancy car and drive to Tannyhill. You opt for neither, standing a few yards away and letting the light from the fire cast its hazy glow over you and all your old friends.

“Did you tell him?” Sarah asks. She means it well, not in a rude way, but that’s how you feel. 

“No, no, I didn’t. He, he thinks I’m at home. With my mom and Blake.”

“Alright,” JJ says, tossing his empty beer can. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“Listen,” John B says, getting up and sounding too sincere for your liking. “We all appreciate you coming. Because we need a favor from you, and it might not be easy.”

“I mean, I think it’s gonna be pretty easy. Unless Rafe is like, really, really crazy, like even crazier than we already know he is-” JJ says, but stops when Kie and Pope shake their heads. “What? She knows, she’s the one dating him.”

“Know what? I don’t even know what you want from me-”

“We need a distraction. For Rafe, okay?” John B starts.

“An hour, okay, that’s all we need, right guys?” Sarah asks, looking back at everyone. They nod, trying to convince you, except Jayj.

“Well, like, maybe a couple of hours. If he’s up to that, y’know, I don’t wanna assume shit ‘bout stamina and all that-”

“JJ,” Pope says, shoving the blond’s arm. “You’re not helping.”

“What?” you breathe out, even more confused than before. You start to get what they’re asking, you just don’t want to admit it.

“We need to distract Rafe, for an hour, or like two hours, and we figured you’re our best bet.” John B says, and you look at them with your mouth falling open a little.

“You want me to…sleep with my boyfriend, to distract him, so you guys can do something that you won’t tell me about?”

“Kind of, yeah. Pretty much.”

“And is, is this thing going to hurt him in the long run? Is he going to be upset? When he finds out what happened?”

“My Kook feelings radar is a little off, right now, but who knows, I mean hell, he might not ever find out,” JJ says, and you want to sit down, because your knees feel weak, but the ground is muddy and the logs are occupied. “If we do our job right, he won’t know for a long, long time, right guys?” A chorus of right, right rings around the fire. 

“And you’re not gonna tell me what this is about at all?” 

“Well, it might not be a good idea. Because, you’re dating him, and listen, we just need like an hour, and he never has to know you were a part of this, okay? I will never tell him, none of us will,” Sarah says, and you do believe her. But you can’t believe that they’re asking you to do this.

“And if he finds out, and he breaks up with me, then what?” 

“Yeah, I, uh, knew this was a bad idea. She’s not gonna do it, guys, so let’s just reformulate-”

“Oh, you knew I was gonna say no, JJ? Lying to my boyfriend? For the people who hurt him?”

“He hurt us too, y’know,” Pope says, and you feel your heart begin to race. 

“No, I don’t know, because no one tells me anything! No one answers their phone and no one’s here when I drive down. Kie, you live two streets away from me now. The first time I saw you all month was at Midsummers and then, today. Asking me to come here to lie to Rafe, to sleep with him to distract him.”

“No, no, we shouldn’t have asked you, because I knew you would say no, I told them-” and you can’t believe the words coming from your friend's mouth. “Look at you, you went total Kook on us.” 

And then you feel like they’re taking it all in. The R around your neck, the jewelry that sparkles in the light of the fire, all yellow citrine, for Rafe’s birth month. The pink dress that’s his favorite—you put it on this morning in case you ended up back at Tannyhill tonight. And worst of all, his white button up hanging from your shoulders, smelling like ocean and sandalwood and Rafe Cameron. 

“It’s like you belong to him now.” You feel a tear sliding down, but you wipe it away. 

“Maybe that’s because he was actually there for me, when I needed it. And I get it, maybe I should have tried harder. But you guys should have too.”

The group of you stand there in silence for a moment. Your phone goes off. You know it’s Rafe. They know it is too. It starts with Kie, and then a course of apologies from everyone. John B wipes away your tears like nothing has changed. JJ scratches his head, and then hugs you tighter than he ever has before. Pope tells you how much he’s missed you, how he had to start bandaging wounds in your absence. 

“I’ll distract him. An hour, that’s all you get. I’m not sleeping with him because you guys want me to, okay? So if he leaves, he leaves.” 

You take off for Tannyhill, leaving your old life behind and risking your new one all at once.

౨ৎ

Rafe’s phone goes off again, and he lets out a short, tight breath. 

Princess: are you still busy at home? i need you

Princess: please rafey

“I’ll be back,” he tells Ward, and before he can even respond, he’s out of the room, calling you. The line rings twice, and then you answer.

“Rafey?” you sound quiet, like you’ve been crying.

“Hey, hey kid. What’s going on? I told you I was working tonight,” and then he runs a hand through his hair, because he knows he’s fucked, if you’re crying and you need him, then he’s going.

“I know, Rafe, I just really need you, I had a really bad night-” “Woah, wait, I thought you were just with your parents?”

“I was, it just got really bad, I-I’m outside Tannyhill because I had to leave, and then I got lost and I was scared so I just came straight here.”

“Lost? Jeez, kid, it’s, like, down the street.”

“But I didn’t wanna bother you, ‘cause you were busy-” and then he hears a hiccup, and then a sob.

“Okay, okay, stay there, I’m gonna come get you,” and he hangs up the call. He darts outside, spotting your navy car and you inside, still in the same clothes from this morning, just wearing his shirt over it, like a jacket. He gets close and you climb out of the car yourself, jumping into his arms and burying your face into his neck, like you always do when you get like this. He can feel the way your body shakes under his arms, the wetness of your tears on his black polo.

“Okay, it’s okay now, come on, let’s go inside.” You make it up the stairs to his bedroom, when Rafe guides you inside and pulls his blinds, so no one peeks inside. 

He sits you up on the edge of his bed, squatting before you, hands in yours, arms resting on your knees. 

“You gonna tell me what happened?” You shake your head, another tear falling. You wish you could say you were pretending, but the tears find their own way when you think about the encounter you just had. You’re lying when you tell him it’s between you and your parents, but his reaction makes you regret it instantly. “Did they say somethin’ to you? Did they try something? I’ll go over there and sort it all out, okay, kid, don’t worry about a thing.” He stands up, running another hand through his messy hair, letting it fall in the moppy way it always does, over his forehead. “Stay here, okay, princess, I’ll be back.”

Then you realize he’s gonna go over there and talk to your perfectly happy, clueless parents, so you stand up and turn him back around.

“No, no, Rafe, don’t leave,” and then you melt into a hug, taking in everything about it. Rafe rests his chin on the top of your head, his arms tight around your back. He smells so good, and the way he’s taking care of you makes you realize a couple things. “Will you just…make me forget?”

Your boyfriend looks down at you, and you don’t shy away from his gaze like you often, when you get flustered. 

“Make you forget?” he questions. 

“I just don’t wanna think about anything else,” you start, undoing the bow of your dress, more cleavage revealing itself. “I just wanna think about you,” and then your fingers undo the buttons trailing down the front of your dress. It falls off your shoulders, and you stand before him, naked, certainly not for the first time but what feels like the most intimate it’s ever been. 

There’s a pretty lingerie set hidden in the back of your closet, what you had actually put aside for this moment, but you had no time to run home and get it, so you opted for the next best thing, taking your bra and panties off in the car ride here, shoving them into your purse, and hoping that Rafe was as tempted as you were.

“Just about me?” he questions, and you take his hand into yours, leaning in to press a soft kiss against his lips.

“Just you, Rafe. I’m ready, Rafey, I want you to fuck me,” and it seems like that’s all it takes. Rafe crushes his lips against yours, kissing you how he always does, tongue in your mouth and spit everywhere. He holds you by the back of your head and your hands run through his hair. You want him closer, even closer than he already is, than he possibly could be.

His hands leave your head and go down to your ass, grabbing both cheeks roughly and wrapping your legs around his waist. He drops you on his bed, head hitting the pillow, and you pull away for a second, to catch your breath. Rafe doesn’t let it happen, gripping your cheeks between his hand and bringing you back in for another kiss. You’re naked, and he’s still completely dressed, but you don’t miss the obvious way his hardened dick presses against your bare cunt.

You can’t breathe, and all your senses are overpowered by Rafe, but you also don’t really care. You keep kissing, moaning into each other’s mouths and gripping hair and skin that’s sure to leave a bruise tomorrow, until you feel him finally pull away for a second. You catch your breath, open-mouthed and heaving, eyes locked.

“‘M only gonna ask this once, kid,” he breathes, leaving another hot kiss on your neck, which makes you spread your legs further open with instinct. “Y’sure you want this? ‘Cause there’s no going back.”

You nod in that way you always have with him, telling him everything with no words at all. 

“That’s my girl,” he breathes against your neck, and you feel him bite down into the soft skin of the flesh there. You yell out, but it turns into a moan when Rafe licks his tongue over the wound. “That’s just so you can remember this night, okay baby?” You look back up at him, wet eyes, swollen lips, and flushed, sweaty skin. 

“Thank you, daddy.” He smiles, because you’re in for it now.

“You’re welcome, kid. Shit,” he breathes out, “I knew you’d like it, little freak.” He starts with more hot kisses, all the way down your neck, down your sternum, and stopping to press a kiss to each side of your ribs, before continuing down to your stomach. You whine from your position below him, one huge hand holding your hip in place and the other tracing the pattern of the kisses down, until he finally reaches where you want him to be.

“Gotta be quiet, kid, everyone’s home. You gonna let them all hear how much of a whore you are for me? Huh?” he mocks, and you shake your head fervently. “Good girl. You’re being so good, you’re gonna get a treat, okay?” You nod stupidly.

His breath catches for a second, when he gets down to your glistening cunt. He looks up at you from his position there, your chest heaving, tits bouncing with how much you’re squirming, how much you want him to do something. He moves his hands, one resting on your breast, pinching the nipple with his finger, and the other running a line down your pussy. Your whole body twitches up when he runs the metal of his ring over your clit, because he knows you really like it. 

“Rafe, please,” you cry, sounding stupid and fucked out, even though he hasn’t started yet. “Please, please,” and your hips jerk up. He pushes them down. 

“Be patient, kid. Gotta admire this virgin pussy for the last time before I ruin it, ‘kay?” You feel your walls tighten at his words, and you hope he missed the way everything just clenched, but it’s Rafe, and he didn’t miss a thing. “Like that, huh? You like being my little slut?”

You shake your head, trying to deny it, but the damage is done.

Rafe dives in, and you let out a moan that you didn’t realize you were capable of producing. You clamp your own hand over your mouth, because you know he’ll stop if you get too loud. His tongue licks you up and down, and true to what you had always thought, he does know what he’s doing.

The hand pinching your nipples doesn’t relent, and the weight of his arm holds you down when you buck up as he pushes two fingers inside you, scissoring them to stretch your walls out. It hurts, in the best way, and before you know it, he’s added a third.

His mouth stays focused on your clit, and your legs tremble, even though it’s barely been a few minutes. It’s all of it, all at once. Being naked in Rafe’s bed, his hand groping your tits, the way he holds you down without trying, the smell of his cologne and his skin and his sweat, making you lightheaded.

His fingers push in and out, and when he hits that sweet spot inside you, the one your own fingers have never been able to reach but somehow, Rafe’s have become well acquainted with, you can’t help the noises you make.

You repeat his name over and over again, and you think you’ve felt the height of this pleasure, that nothing could surpass this feeling, until your stomach tightens in an entirely new way. Your fucked out brain gets it together for a minute, to feel the overwhelming, ecstatic pressure of Rafe’s tongue on your clit, spelling out his own name. Your stomach tightens, unbearably so, that coil winding up, but before he even finishes the F, it snaps all at once. 

You let out a scream—which you think is so stupid of you. But it feels so good, there was no way around it. Rafe reacts instantly, grabbing your hand that’s pulling his hair and using it to snap over your mouth, all while he rides you through it. 

His nose presses against your clit while he slides his fingers out, your pussy walls clamping around nothing, missing him already. He laps up the mess you just made with his tongue, the noise being so overwhelming, you want to scream again. 

You use your other hand to yank his hair, pulling him up to look at you, because you know you want to see this. Rafe, your Rafe, your boyfriend, with blown, wide eyes and the entire lower half of his face glistening with your juices, with the mess you just made, and then you collapse back down onto the bed. 

Your breathing is heavy. You aren’t sure it’ll ever go back to normal.

Rafe pulls his shirt off by grabbing it from the back, yanking it over his head. Your hand floats up to

touch his chest, to make sure he’s still real and not just a vivid sex dream, but he slaps it out of the way.

“What did I say, hm?” he asks, leaning over you. His face is just an inch too far to kiss. Your limbs feel numb, and you can’t pull him down yourself. You want to cry, because you want to kiss him so badly. “I said you had to be quiet, or everyone’s gonna know what a little whore you are.”

“I tried, daddy, I did-”

“I don’t think you tried at all, kid.”

“No, I did, I swear-”

“You’re lucky that I-” and before he finishes his sentence, you pull him down into another kiss. He tastes like you and scotch, and the combination is so intoxicating, you can’t pull away. “Hey, hey,” he breathes. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?” and the soothing way he says it, you believe him.

“I’m lucky that you what?” you ask, unbuckling his belt and snaking it off the loops.

“That I love you, and I’m not gonna punish you tonight for not listening to me.” You drop the belt over your stomach, the melt part hitting with a little clink. You look back up at him, your eyes wide, you imagine, your cheeks flushed. 

“You love me?” you ask, quietly. You can barely hear yourself over the thud of your heart pounding in your chest.

“I do,” Rafe replies, running his hand to smooth over your hair, which you’re sure is a mess now. “Enough that I’m gonna fuck you now, but I had to say it first, because I’m gonna fuck you until you break.”

You’re speechless, watching Rafe unbutton his pants and kick them off, boxers going with them. He strokes himself once, twice, and you’re still staring up at his face, even though normally you would get distracted. 

He looks up again. 

“You ready, kid?” 

“I love you, Rafey,” you say, twisting your hands around to the back of his neck, pushing him into yet another kiss. You can’t pull away, even if you want to, you want him so close that you forget everything else in the world for now. While you’re kissing, he lines himself up with your leaking pussy, which has probably ruined these sheets, and pushes in the tip.

You pull back from the kiss, just to moan, but Rafe silences you with his mouth again. He pushes in more, and more, until you’re sure he’s bottomed out. Your cunt is so, so stretched, you can’t fathom this is what you’ve been missing out on, and it feels so good, like nothing has ever felt before, not his fingers, not his tongue, not any other part of him. 

“That’s halfway, kid, you doin’ okay?” and your eyes jolt up to his in a second.

“H-half?” you breathe out. “I can’t, I can’t take any more, s’not gonna fit Rafe, not gonna fit-”

“Hey,” he repeats, which always has that calming effect on you. “You let me worry about that, okay? Just relax this pussy f’me, okay?” and the way he says it, you do, because you have no other choice. He pushes in again, fast, hard, and then pulls all the way out. You’re too scared to look anywhere but his eyes, so you stay locked in on them, until he pushes all the way in again, and your eyes clasp shut.

“Oh, oh my god, Rafe-” And you don’t care who hears you this time. He pulls out again, just his lip still inside you.

“Look, princess, look down,” he urges, and you follow his instructions, because you always do. “Look where we’re connected, yeah?” He fucks in and out of you, slowly but then faster, and you do look, entranced at the way your pussy sucks him in, the way your cum is coating his dick, at the brutal pace he’s set. 

You look until you can’t anymore, leaning back against the pillow and watching Rafe above you, his face twisted in pleasure, eyebrows furrowed, mouth panting. He buries his face into your neck, and you grip the top of his shoulders, nails digging in, because you just need to hold onto something.

He told the truth, you think, in your fucked out, blissful state, that he was going to fuck you like he hated you, battering into your sore pussy over and over again. 

You repeat his name—daddy, not Rafe—until he shuts you up with a kiss, and he watches the strings of spit connecting your mouths when he pulls away.

“Just needed this dick, didn’ya princess? Just needed daddy to think for ya?” You moan in reply. “You got it then, kid, because m’never gonna stop fucking you. Y’never gonna think about anything else again.”

And then he finally does you in, because he presses down, right below your stomach, while he slams in, and you feel something inside you break, like a flood breaking through a dam. It washes out to every part of you, from your ears to your fingers to your toes. White hot pleasure runs its course through your body, cunt tightening and shaking, eyes rolling back, your spine arching forward. Through all of it, Rafe pins you down, and fucks you through it. And finally, deliriously, you open your fucked-out eyes, looking up at him.

“I love you, daddy,” and he cums before he can even pull out, messy rivulets shooting inside you, leaking out onto his expensive sheets. He moans into your neck, and his entire body slumps forward, and you giggle under the weight.

A few minutes pass by.

“Rafey, you’re gonna crush me,” you say quietly, sing-songy. You’re so happy, you’ve forgotten everything else that’s happened.

Rafe presses a kiss to your forehead and rolls off, slumping next to you. Your head lands on his chest not a second later, his arm around your shoulder and another kiss to your hair.

“Feel better, kid?” 

“So much better, Rafey.” 

You don’t know when you fall asleep, only that you woke up to the sound of your phone going on. You pick it up, trying to turn down the light so Rafe doesn’t wake up too. There’s one message.

JJ: I thought you said you weren’t gonna sleep with him?

౨ৎ

[yarrystyleeza]

Happy birthday tomorrow Yuna! Hope you'll have an amazing day ❤️❤️

As for a request... When I saw you would write for Daryl, I knew I had to send you something. Season 1 and 2 Daryl lives rent free in my mind, so can I please request:

"when they tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear while you talk" and "brushing against each other, even if there is enough room"

Thank you in advance and again, Happy birthday 😁❤️🎉

Awww thank you my love, sorry for answering this late, hope you didn't mind it, it was stupid of me! 😅💖💖💖

I was stuck with the plot of the request for the last two months until last night, I literally wrote this in less than 10 hours lol 🤣🤣🤣 hope you enjoy it, though, and sorry for keeping you hanging! 💖💖💖 You're so welcome and thank you for dropping this request and for the birthday wishes! 🥰🥰🥰

Little Things (D.D)

Requested by @munsonownsmyass

Pairing and dynamic: Daryl Dixon x female! reader, idiots in love

Prompt: fluff, s1!s2!Daryl, tucking hair behind ear, brushing against each other even if there's enough room + petnames for the cherry on top!

Word count: 1.4k!

Writer's note: I loved writing this one so much! As you lily, season one and two Daryl is my favorite Daryl era (beside S8). Not 100% proofread but I hope you really enjoy it, have a great day! <3

"Hurt y'self, little thin'?" He teased, watching you lying on the forest bed after your foot faltered and slipped you into the bottom of the hill. Your brows knitted, you rolled your eyes, he chuckled at the face you made, "alright, I'm comin'."

He slides down, smoothly, and a little bit pompously—with a smirk on his face. You can't lie—he made you smile though you desperately wanted to punch him right in the face.

He offered his hand to you and you accepted his help. At first, he let you wrap your arm around his neck as he walked you towards the hill exit—but as it turns out, you sprained your ankle so bad it was impossible for you to take another step. He scooped you in his arms and carried you back to the quarry.

And that's how you met Daryl.

You can't admit he wasn't a pain in the ass most of the time—if not always, getting on your nerves and driving you up the wall, it was so constant you started thinking he was doing it on purpose.

It kinda was. Daryl had serious troubles with conveying his emotions, and that idiot had a sickening crush on you ever since he saw you at the camp with the girls. He wanted your attention and he only got it when he drove you mad, so he tooled it in his advantage.

You were his favorite. You're the only one he talks to—other than his brother, Merle—and you, too, are the only one who wants to talk to him.

You too had a crush on him. His silly fights and bickering became more amusing to you—sometimes you couldn't even contain the smile drawn across your face when he's mad about something so stupid and could be fixed in complete silence, and when you gave him your smug face—it always drove him insane. You learnt he's quick-tempered, but these ones were visibly made up just to get a chance to be with you.

Daryl reminded you of those little boys in the playground when they used to ruin the girls' sand castles or pull their braids and ribbons just to get their attention. Ever since you came up to this conclusion—life has never been easier!

But things changed a little bit after the attack on the quarry. Daryl turned from only being a hot-headed idiot to be completely protective of you, but that doesn't mean he stopped getting angry—God forbid he does! But he got more reasonable and collected—around you, at least.

As soon as you got to the CDC, he grew closer to you, more friendly, more worried, more caring. He barely slept the night you spent there, checking on you every thirty minutes to make sure you don't need anything—despite you being a wall apart. It was adorable, and it stirred something in you.

Same night at dinner, right before you went to bed, he sat beside you as you dined, he made sure your plate was full and that you'd eaten well because 'it's been a while since you got a decent meal', he says.

And in the middle of the chaos the following morning—he solely cared for you, and not a thing was going to stop him from smashing Dr. Jenner's head that morning if it wasn't for you calming him down.

The two of you escaped in his pickup truck. But despite the horror you had just fled, you couldn't stop stealing glances at each other, Daryl was focused on driving but you spotted him staring at you with soft eyes a couple of times. Both of you blushed, multiple times—vividly, but you couldn't stop. Something was so amusing and sweet about the way he was looking at you, and you were so tempting to him he could stop staring at you even if he wanted to.

Now, staying at Hershel's farmhouse, Daryl turned out to be that sweet lovey dovey guy who'd absolutely melt under your touch—in complete opposite to the face he's been showing to everyone.

As you went out to search for Sophia, Daryl offered to accompany you. He kept brushing arms with you, pumping into your side, and gently holding your biceps to guide you as you walked. He kept putting himself between you and any threat, not letting you shed a drop of sweat—you were almost a passenger princess, but on foot.

But it was very obvious the night he got shot—your heart dropped when it happened, and when you learned it was your Daryl and not some misinformation. You couldn't watch as they took the bullet out, you couldn't watch him screaming in agony—yet you heard him from behind the door. It tore your heart into pieces.

The night fell as you sat on the chair next to his bed, your head dripping every couple minutes as you drifted in and out of sleep. Your head was heavy as a rock sinking in the ocean—yet you kept fighting Mr. Sandman back, shaking your head and rubbing your eyes and patting your face.

"Go to bed, pet," he softly demanded, "ye're tired from sittin' here all day," he extended an arm, gently placing it on your thigh and squeezing it chastely, "ya need some rest."

You shook your head, "I'm fine, Daryl," you shrugged, "it's not like it's the first time I stay up late."

Both of you stay silent, staring at each other with soft eyes. "Climb up in 'ere," Daryl says, his voice was tinted with plead "at least you won't have to keep droppin' yer head like a sippy chicken."

"No, Daryl," you shook your head in utter refusal, desperately trying to show him how awake you are despite craving a warm bed, "you need your own space. What if I accidentally hit your wound--"

"Come on, pet, you know you won't..." he softly smiles, shaking his head. You sigh and climb into the bed with him and he shares his blanket with you. He turns to face you, the moonlight is perfectly casted upon your faces, his blue eyes sparkled and reflected you like a looking glass. He grazes your cheek, tucking your stray hair back behind your ear and his fingertips linger on the skin of your neck.

"Get some sleep, love," he caresses your hair, "I won't need nothin' when ye're right next to me."

You woke up tangled up in his chest, it was warm and peaceful. You never wanted to slip out of his arms—if it wasn't for Hershel coming over to check on him and the men accompanying him.

Daryl got better as the days gone by. You started to see him in the kitchen fetching some biscuits or chips, he'd pump into you on his way out, brushing arms with you and glancing at you with his blueies and a smile. And if he's in the right mood, he'd take you off guard and peck your cheek, and you'd turn red and try to bite your smile. He caught it had quite the right effect on you, and he's been doing it ever since.

"Let it down, pumpkin," Daryl flirts as he snatches the scrunchie out of your hand as you tried to tie your hair, "love it when it's coverin' yer pretty face, gives me a reason to keep tuckin' it back."

"But we're going on a mission," you protest, "it would be dangerous for both of us!"

Daryl takes a run around the golden field and you chase him—but he overpowers you and you stop running, panting and clutching your chest as he giggles. He mischievously walks back closer to you, so you try to take it back, but he's taller than you, stretching his hand up with your scrunchie and shaking it to tease you. "Ya ain't tiein' it today, darlin'."

"Give it back!" you giggle as you jump to reach for your scrunchie, but he keeps stretching his arm above his head.

"Ye look so cute like that, pumpkin," he pulls a smug face as you lean forward against him, your chests compacting and you're an inch away from kissing.

"You could've told me you wanted to kiss me," you tease, not minding that he lowered his hand back down. He tucks your stray bangs behind your ear, ending up doing what he wanted to do all along.

"But it's more fun to watch ya tiptoe and lean on to me like that," he rounds you with his big arms, pulling you deeper into his chest with a Bastard smirk on his face, "it makes you even prettier, pet. These little things you do."

Likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for coming to my birthday sleepover celebration! 💞💞💞

[hugmekenobi]

S3: The Bad Batch (11)

Chapter Eleven: Point of No Return

Gif by @moonstrider9904

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Ever since Eriadu, Clone Force 99 had been a fractured squad. Months have passed but you're finally back with the Batch but Omega is still out there and you won't stop until you find her again.

Chapter Summary: The Empire closes in on you and the Batch

Masterlist for S1 and S2

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Canon-typical violence, threats, food mentions, flash of PDA and fluff in the beginning, referenced character death, rip a certain ship :(, self-blame, brief injury mention, humour as a tool for deflection, overall angsty vibes

Word Count: 4.2K

Author's notes: Still sticking very close to the episode here but hope it's still enjoyable and episode 12 is in progress!!

Getting into the pirate’s ship had been all too easy. He wasn’t going to fail this time. CX-2 decrypted the coordinates before he put the transmission for Scorch through, “The Trandoshan’s intel paid off. I tracked the pirate and accessed her navicomputer. She tried to cover her tracks but I broke the encryption.”

“What did you find?”

“She frequented a planet in the Outer Rim. I’m headed there now to do recon.”

“Send the coordinates. I’ll have a full division on standby if you require a visual on the targets.” Scorch provided before he signed off.

CX-2 entered the coordinates for Pabu.

--

“That’s gotta be all of it, right?” Wrecker asked in disbelief as he saw the three of you approach and unload the next round of supplies.

“We still need to grab the rations.” Hunter told him. “Keep loading up the ship. We’ll be back.”

Wrecker groaned, “Fine. But at least bring me back an ice cone.”

“Just one?” You questioned with an enticing grin as you walked backwards away from him and the ship.

“No, no, no. You’re right! M-Make it two!” Wrecker corrected his error.

You gave a two-fingered salute in reply before you turned around and jogged to catch up with Hunter and Crosshair.

--

“I wish you didn’t have to leave.” Lyana said lowly as she led Omega through the Archium.

“Me too, but Hunter thinks it’s safer for everyone if we do.”

Lyana led her over to a gap in one of the ledges. “What do you think of this spot?”

“It’s perfect.” Omega said with a thankful smile.

“So, which treasures did you bring?” Lyana asked, her tone curious but respectful of what this moment meant to those that left things here and Omega would not be treated differently.

Omega tucked Lula under her arm and brought out Tech’s cracked goggles. She held them delicately in her hands as she let the memories that they brought wash over her.

“You sure you wanna leave these behind?” Lyana double checked gently.

“Pabu was the first place that felt like a home.” Omega placed both objects down with the utmost care. “This way, a piece of us is still here.”

Lyana laid a supportive hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Well, I’ll make sure these stay safe until you come back.” She looked at Omega with a new type of seriousness. “Because you will come back, right?”

“I hope so.” Omega replied, the harsh reality of the day quickly catching up to her as she realised this would be the last time she would see her for a while.

--

“And where are you going?” Hunter asked with a questioning smile and tilt of his head as you separated from them. “We’ve got rations to get.”

You feigned disgust at the very idea. “Hey, I have the very important ice-cone mission. I cannot be diverted with a mere ration run.” You said with a coy grin before you pressed a swift kiss to Hunter’s cheek and sauntered off with exaggerated determination.

“Get that lovesick smile of your face before I throw up.” Crosshair snickered with a roll of his eyes as he saw the way Hunter watched you go.

“Shut up.” Hunter shoved his brother’s shoulder before they carried on with their own search.

--

“I don’t even think there’s room on this ship for all this gear.” Wrecker complained to Gonky as he saw all that was still to be shifted and he knew there was still more to come. However, Gonky’s cheeky honks of reply were not the commiseration he was looking for. “Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I should leave you behind.” He retorted, smirking at the offended honks he got in response.

Wrecker brought more of the stuff on board, completely unaware that the proximity sensor had been flashing a half second before.

--

CX-2 landed the ship in the cavern and began his hunt.

--

Hunter paused as he heard the nervous squeaking on the island birds, their tone matching his own growing sense of unease.

“What is it?” Crosshair asked.

“Not sure, but I don’t like it.” Hunter brought out his comm. “Omega, time to go.”

Upon hearing that, you gave up your spot in line and joined up with Hunter and Crosshair. You’d make it up to Wrecker another time.

--

CX-2 scanned the bustling market stalls from above and that was when he caught sight of the two clones and the targets he’d been sent to acquire. He touched the control panel on his sleeve and got Scorch on his comm.

“Report.” Scorch demanded.

“I’ve got eyes on the targets.”

“Ground them and wait for the division. They must be recovered unharmed. No mistakes this time.”

“And the clones they’re with?” He asked as he saw the group of you leaving the area.

“If they get in your way, eliminate them.”

--

“We’re sorry to see you go, but you’re all welcome here anytime.” Shep said sincerely. “Those homes will be waiting for you when you get back.”

You bowed your head in gratitude.

“Thanks for everything, Shep.” Hunter said, shaking his hand.

Omega and Lyana shared in a hug.

“I’ll see you soon.” Lyana said as she parted from Omega.

The four of you and Batcher started to make your way back to Wrecker.

--

The sun had almost set by the time Wrecker finished getting the most recent batch of supplies onto the ship, but he just took relief in the fact that he wouldn’t be alone in shifting the next round of gear.

As he went to grab the last crate, he paused on the steps as he picked up on a faint but rapid series of beeps.

He recognised the sound.

He knew exactly what that meant.

He reacted quickly and with a shout, he abandoned the ship and grabbed Gonky just as the Marauder exploded, hurling both of them into the sea.

With the last of his strength, he managed to pull himself onto a piece of debris before his vision went dark.

--

Upon hearing the harsh echoing boom of an explosion, you all instantly ran to the edge of Upper Pabu and your heart thumped in a frantic panic as you saw the distant flames and charred remnants of what was once the Marauder.

Hunter brought out his binoculars and took in the scene. He saw Wrecker and Gonky floating in the water and felt his own panic set in at seeing his brother unconscious. He put on his helmet and started running for the docks.

You did the same with your coverings and Crosshair put on his helmet before the three of you followed close behind.

--

One of the locals had grabbed a boat and brought Wrecker and Gonky back to port.

You pushed your way through the crowd of people and stopped short as you saw Wrecker’s body.

Omega knelt down by Wrecker’s side. “Wrecker? Wrecker!” Omega gasped, desperately shaking his shoulders to try and rouse him but it did no good.

Your stomach dropped to your feet. It took all the training you had to not lose control upon seeing the lack of response from Wrecker. He was strong, he was always so strong. He had to be alright.

“Mox and Stak, take Wrecker to Shep’s. Deke, get Az-3 to patch him up, and fast.” Hunter ordered the regs. He needed his brother back on his feet. He needed him to be okay.

“Ships don’t just blow up. We’ve been compromised.” Crosshair realised.

Hunter turned his head from Wrecker to the sound of a deep rumbling from above and what he saw sent both a deep anger and dread through his veins. The Imperial Star Destroyer hovered above the Archium and a series of gunships swarmed down. “Everyone, get to cover!”

Amidst the crowds of panicked and screaming people, the four of you regrouped and found cover of your own.

--

Shep was helpless to stop the hordes stormtroopers from moving in. He could only watch in despair as his people ran in fear.

--

“Cut off all escape routes. Destroy any ships or sea skiffs in sight.” CX-2 ordered as he remained unphased by the chaos around him. It wouldn’t affect what he needed to achieve; it would only help.

--

You and Omega both paused as you saw the destruction the Empire was causing to the docks.

The only light in the night were the fires caused by the Imperial gunfire.

The only sounds the whirr of gunship and cried of fear that echoed around the island.

Kamino, the Marauder, Pabu… How many more homes was the Empire going to take from you?

From these innocent people?

And how much longer could you let it go on?

A glance down at Omega told you she was thinking similarly to you. You indicated your head back and you both joined the others in an alleyway.

“Is this our fault? Are they attacking because of us?” Omega whispered up at you as she kept Batcher calm.

You wished with every fibre of your being that you could tell her no. That they were the ones at fault but the own guilt residing in your heart made the words die before they left your lips. How could you reassure her when you couldn’t believe the words yourself? It was never meant to go this way. The very thing you had wanted to avoid had happened and now you knew there was only one real way out of it.

Hunter crouched down. “It’s the Empire’s fault. Not yours. You have to stay focused. Both of you.” He implored with a helmeted look in your direction too.

“They’re destroying all means of escape and jamming our comms.” Crosshair said as he tried his comm, but it was only static. “We have to steal one of their gunships. Once we’re out of range, we can contact Echo.”

“I’ll handle it.” Hunter said. “You three, get to Shep’s and wait with Wrecker until I signal you.”

You caught his vambrace and pulled him back to you. You pressed your forehead against his helmet.

Hunter had a distinct and sinking feeling that this was you saying goodbye, but he wasn’t going to let that be the case- this plan would work… it- it had to. “I’ll see you soon.” He said as he stepped away.

You couldn’t quite meet his helmeted gaze as you nodded before you, Omega and Batcher split from him to head to Shep’s.

Hunter gave Crosshair a last meaningful look before he went in the opposite direction.

Crosshair knew what that look meant- keep them safe. And he would do everything in his power to do that. He followed you and Omega.

--

“Lock down the town. Search every domicile until you find them.” CX-2 ordered the squadrons of troopers.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Shep demanded as he approached the black-armoured soldier that seemed intent on ruining the lives of so many people.

“Who are you?” CX-2 replied with equal parts disdain and curiosity.

“The mayor of this town. You’ve opened fire on my village and its people without warning and without reason. Under what pretence are you attacking?” Shep seethed.

“We’re here to collect some fugitives you’ve been harbouring.” CX-2 brought out the puck and flashed the two images.

Shep made sure to keep his true reaction at bay- he wouldn’t give you and Omega away if he could help it. “You can’t just barge in here-”

“I’ve barely done anything yet.” CX-2 interrupted coldly.

“You destroyed our docks and fishing skiffs. Our livelihood.”

“I have simply cut off their means of escape. But I can do worse. I know they are here. Until they are turned over to me, your island will burn.” CX-2 threatened as he walked away.

--

The path to Shep’s had been fraught with troopers and each time like this where you had to hide from the next roaming patrol only slowed things down more.

You peered round the corner of your hiding spot to see one of the villagers being forced out of her home and you heard her distressed plea.

“You can’t do this! It’s our home!”

You were fighting the urge to go out and it seemed Batcher also shared in your current sentiment as Omega was doing her best to keep the dog quiet and calm.

And the cruel reply from the trooper that you heard next only confirmed what you already dreaded.

“We know they’re here! Where are the Jedi and the girl?”

“I don’t know! I swear-”

The familiar sound of a slap made your blood boil. You went to reveal yourself to stop them but Crosshair’s hand on your arm prevented you from doing so.

Omega couldn’t hold Batcher back though. The dog snarled and charged for the soldiers before they could do anymore harm.

“Batcher can handle herself. Let’s go.” Crosshair said to you both as he made sure Omega didn’t go to follow the dog either.

--

You had managed to scale the wall up to Shep’s and opened the door.

“Lyana!” Omega said with a relieved gasp.

“Omega! My-My dad, he said to hide here.” Lyana said fearfully. She ran up to her friend and hugged her tight, “I’m so scared.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.” Omega replied as she parted from her.

You and Crosshair took off your coverings as you saw AZ attending to Wrecker.

“How’s Wrecker, AZ?” You asked.

“He is still unconscious, but his vitals are stable.”

You allowed yourself to feel some semblance of relief at that, but you hastily pushed it to one side as you heard another gunships sound outside.

The three of you ran back out to take in what was happening and what you saw made your chest tighten and curl your fists in rage- stormtroopers were everywhere, removing people from their homes, tossing them to the ground, arresting them. It was unnecessarily cruel, and it was all because you were still here.

--

Getting onto the gunship had started out as a stealth mission but quickly became one where Hunter just had to get inside without getting shot.

He’d managed to do so but the pilot was making his life extremely difficult with erratic flying designed to fling him out. He had to take a tight grasp of the handles inside to remain upright.

--

Something else then caught your attention as you saw the unstable and irregular flying patterns of an Imperial gunship and a whole different kind of emotion swept through you. You knew the exact cause of that particular situation, but you were not reassured by the sight in the slightest.

“Is that, Hunter?” Omega asked both you and Crosshair as she noticed the ship in the air.

“Yes.” You said through clenched teeth.

“Uh huh.” Crosshair echoed nonchalantly.

But then, something shifted, there was a blaster shot and vessel nosedived down towards the sea in a way that showed that neither Hunter nor the pilot was in charge of the ship anymore.

A strained breath caught in your throat as you watched the ship plummet into the sea. “Where- where is he?” You choked out as you saw Crosshair grab his macrobinoculars.

Crosshair scanned the water anxiously but let out a relieved sigh as he saw his brother resurface and swim for the shore. “He’s fine.”

You bent forwards as you braced your hands on the wall and let out a slow calming breath before the distant sound of comm chatter reminded you of your current situation.

“He’s safer than we are at the moment.” Crosshair hissed as the three of you retreated back inside Shep’s.

--

“What do we do? Troopers will be here soon.” Omega asked anxiously.

“Hunter would want us to stick to the plan.” Crosshair replied, internally scrambling to think of a way out of this.

“There’s no hiding, Crosshair. The Empire knows we’re here. They won’t stop searching until they find us!”

Whilst they were talking, you were coming up with a plan of your own. If you handed yourself in and convinced them that you’d already shipped Omega off-world, then maybe they’d leave Pabu and the rest of them alive and in peace.

You glanced between Wrecker and Lyana and the door. You took a calming breath as you came to terms with what you had to do but a squeeze of your hand brought your eyes downwards. No. You said as you saw her nod at you.  

“You promised.” Omega reminded you.

This is different, Omega. It’s not a choice you should need to make. It-

“You’re going, I know you are!” Omega interrupted. “But that won’t be enough, they’re here for me too! They won’t stop and you know it. It is my choice!”

Crosshair clued in and realised what the two of you were arguing about. “Absolutely not.”

“It’s our only option, Crosshair.” You said heavily.

“What? No, it’s not. We-”

“Look at what they’ve already done.” You said, a flash of anger coming through. “We can’t let the people here suffer any more because of us. That’s why we were leaving in the first place- to avoid this. We can’t let it carry on. We just can’t.” I’m not risking anyone else. Wrecker already got hurt, I’m not risking you and I’m not risking Hunter. If I could help it, Omega wouldn’t be coming but I can’t and it kills me that I can’t, but it’s how it has to be.

Crosshair went to respond to you, but Omega got in first, “If we let them take us, it stops.” She emphasised.

Crosshair focused on the young girl, distress in his voice. “You’ll be taken back to Tantiss.”

“Exactly. We’ve been trying to find those coordinates, and nothing’s worked. But if we keep our comms on us, and turn ourselves in, you can track us to Tantiss. This is our chance. Our chance to finally rescue the clones imprisoned there.”

“No. They’ll search you and find it. It won’t work.” Crosshair argued.

“Then shoot a secondary tracker onto the ship that they take us away on.” You suggested.

“Too many unknown variables. It’s not a viable plan.”

“It’s all we’ve got.” You countered.

“And it’s our choice.” Omega reminded him again.

Crosshair looked imploringly in your direction now. “Tantiss is different. This isn’t some random Imperial that’ll take you this time. It’ll be Hemlock. Who knows what he’ll do to you there.”

You also saw a genuine fear behind his eyes, and it unnerved you. It won’t be for long, I’ll be alright. “Focus on the bigger mission, Crosshair.” You said aloud and you came to stand behind Omega and rested your hands on her shoulders.

“Yeah, we’re just a small part of it.” Omega agreed.

Crosshair found himself in a position where he was forced to reflect on that, and he had to agree with you both.

--

The two of you got ready to depart but you noticed the reluctance that still graced Crosshair’s face and you approached him.

“He’s going to kill me.” Crosshair said to you quietly.

So, tell him he was right that Hemlock was after me too, that outta smooth things over.

“It’s not funny.” Crosshair snapped. He didn’t want to lose you both either. Not when he knew how important you both were to Hunter, to this squad… to this family. He’d finally made ground with you, you were one of them, you always had been, and he’d welcomed that feeling again. And Omega, well, Omega had seen and been through it all with him already, he owed her much more than a half-baked rescue plan.

Yeah sorry, it’s a bad habit. You went serious again and shook your head. “He’s not going to do that, Crosshair. Six months ago, maybe he would’ve, but not now. He’s not going to lose the progress he’s built with you either, not anymore. He’ll understand.” You glanced back to Omega who was standing by the door and regret stabbed your heart over the fact that this was to be her fate too, but you also knew that she wouldn’t have it any other way. “We’re very stubborn and determined individuals.” You said fondly before you looked back at him and placed a reassuring hand on his upper arm. “Just don’t miss.” You said with a light but resigned smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

With that, you and Omega exited the hut.

--

You caught Omega’s shoulder just before you rounded the corner to make yourselves known. You crouched down to her eye-level. “Omega… you know if there was any other option that I could think of that would get us- particularly you- out of this, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

Omega nodded. “I know, but it’s what we have to do.” She said bravely.

Your heart broke a little bit more right then and there- this was something no kid should ever have to do, “You had to grow up far too fast.” You murmured, both with sadness and a hint of pride in your voice as you gave her a loving hug before the two of you stepped out of your hiding spot.

--

“Stop.”

CX-2 signalled the troopers with the flamethrowers to disengage as he heard the voice of a woman.

“We surrender.” Omega said as all eyes, both Imperial and Pabu civilians turned in your direction.

“Stay alert. I neutralised the other two clones with them, but not the third.” CX-2 advised as he approached you two.

“Take us and leave the island alone.” You said as you held your wrists out.

“The people here are innocent.” Omega did the same thing as you.

CX-2 first put the cuffs on the young girl, “Then you never should have come here in the first place.”

“I’m assuming these are the special cuffs made just for me?” You said dully as the operative attached a second pair to your wrists, and you noticed the slightly different design of them compared to Omega’s.

“Why don’t you try them and find out?”

The harsh modulated voice sent a cold shiver of fear down your spine, but you covered it up. “Nah, you seem like someone who is on top of things, so I’ll take your word for it.” You were determined to not flinch under the unwavering glare of his helmet.

“Scan them for tracking devices.” CX-2 ordered as he confiscated your knife and Jedi weapon.

As expected, the comm devices were picked up immediately.

“Give them to me.” CX-2 demanded.

You and Omega reluctantly handed them over before you were both shoved and made to walk between the squadron of troopers as they got ready to transport you off the planet.

--

Crosshair had watched the surrender take place and had been stealthily tracking and making his way to a vantage point where he could tag the ship that you were to be taken away on.

--

Hunter staggered to shore and collapsed to his hands and knees.

He felt the water seeping through the gaps in his armour, weighing him down, and it was choking him beneath his helmet.

He removed it and took a few recovering breaths before he became alert to the sound of rustling just ahead of him. He instantly got to his feet and guardedly drew his blaster as he waited for the threat to show.

But he was able to relax his stance as Batcher came into view and ran over to him with a happy bark. He bent down and rubbed her side with a slight grin before he glanced up at the Archium and the rest of the island, but he didn’t see as many ships anymore.

And the realisation at what was about to happen hit him harder than he had hit the water.

Hunter grabbed his helmet and started running back, Batcher close at his heels.

--

You swallowed thickly as you and Omega were marched to the docks and forced to walk past the wreckage of both the sea skiffs and the Marauder.

CX-2 tapped the band on his arm and his ship came flying to meet the three of you.

You and Omega paused before boarding but an insistent jab of the butt of the operative’s rifle prompted you both to step up.

--

Crosshair got into position and readied himself to take the shot when the flashlight hit him.

“Over there!”

He fired back at the small squad of troopers that had found him and dealt with them as quickly as he could, but the interruption had moved him out of the prime position.

He had to run for it.

His gait was rushed.

His aim unsteady.

But there was no more time.

The ship’s engines were powering up.

He had no choice but to fire.

The ship took off.

His tracker missed.

And he could only look on in complete and utter dismay and horror as the ship flew out of view.

--

“Targets acquired. Returning to base.” CX-2 transmitted before he put the ship into hyperspace.

You and Omega sat side by side on the metal floor.

Omega took off her hat and leaned against your shoulder. “We’ll have each other there.” She murmured, doing her best to keep her voice composed.

“Yeah, we’ll be okay.” You whispered back.

Next Chapter>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @arctrooper69, @dominoeffectsworld, @andreaaxy, @notgonnaedit, @nightmonkeysstuff , @jellybeanstacey0519 @callsign-denmark @allthingsimagines, @superbookishhufflepuff

[loki-is-my-kink-awakening]

Okay, I wanna talk about this scene and what it might mean for Loki and Mobius in S2.

Sure, they stood here so Loki could point at the panel showing all the Kangs fighting, and the full mural is meant to be the story of how the Time Keepers created order out of chaos, but what if it also means something else.

Let's look at Mobius first, then Loki.

Mobius POV

Mobius is standing with his back to a panel representing chaos and looking at one that represents order, showing the Time Keepers appearing as gods to shocked people below. Seems very religious and mythological, right?

Mobius had always believed in order and that what the TVA were doing, ripping people from their lives, was necessary.

He also has previously likened Loki's origins, which is literal mythology in mcu form, as similar to his own experiences in the TVA.

"If you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous."

Now, he knows the Time Keepers are fake, that he wasn't created by them. By this point in the episode, he's already acknowledged to B-15 that their gods are dead.

What he isn't aware of is who exactly was behind the curtain or that all-out war is coming. That's something Loki reveals to Mobius, showing him the truth in his blindspot (the panel behind him).

This revelation for Mobius feels pretty similar to how the truth was revealed to Loki in S1E1.

Mobius is also looking at a panicked Loki. He's seen him teary-eyed before, but not this distressed.

What Mobius sees before him is his fear, that Loki won't be able to escape the bonds of the sacred timeline, that he's doomed to die, and that pains him.

And one last thing. Loki is a god of mischief, and I can't help thinking about the comparison of a real god Mobius can see in front of him and the fake Time Keepers in the panel behind Loki.

Loki POV

Meanwhile, Loki is looking at chaos that scares him. The panel has several Kangs all fighting for supremacy in a pose that was similar to that shown by Kang in S1E6.

Loki is the god of mischief, who thrives on chaos, and yet the prospect of all these Kangs frightens him.

War is the only thing preoccuping his mind. It's the only thing he can see.

But behind him are the Time Keepers, and we know they are fake, but what if the truth Loki has to face is that while he no longer wants a throne, he might need to take it to save the people he cares for, his found family.

Loki is looking at Mobius, who's concerned about him and a little rattled, but ultimately keeping his calm. I think this calm is likely to fracture the more season 2 progresses.

What Loki sees before him is his fear, that Mobius will be caught up in the war and lost to him. It's a reminder of what's at stake if he doesn't restore order. And he's already experienced a Mobius who didn't know him, and that was heartbreaking.

What this scene also does is continue both Loki and Mobius being mirrors for each other, revealing truth and reflecting one another.

They are similar to each other in many ways. We saw glimpses of Mobius embracing chaos in S1, which I always love to see. And I can't wait to see more of these soulmates. They are important to one another.

And I haven't even spoken about all the touching, that Mobius doesn't want to lose Loki and Loki is just so desperate to get to Mobius, but I think other people have covered that.

Thanks to @lgwilt and @insert-witty-user-name-here for discussing this theory with me. I added in your glorious insights because what you said really resonated with me.

And just a wee note to everyone that this is just me theorising, and usually my theories do not happen, but I couldn't help pondering if this mural had an even deeper meaning. I just like theorising for fun.

Hopefully, the above made some sort of sense.

[avariantflaire]

Why Levi and Petra?

Of course, upon general viewing of SNK and its characters, it's clear that they have established Erwin, Levi, and Hange as the leading trio of the Survey Corps. They represent this faction of the military and in interesting ways, mirror the main protagonists of the series.

While there is a lot to be said and appreciated about Levi's relationships with Erwin and Hange, I have come to find that the character who humanizes him is the lovely (albeit forgettable) Petra Ral.

Early in the series, we are introduced to Levi as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Erwin makes use of his abilities in this sense, and Hange often relies on his strength in combat as well. That is not to say this is the extent of their relationships: we have Levi's iconic "Give up on your dreams and die" scene with Erwin (S3 E16) and the infamous "Maybe we should just live here [away from my responsibilities] together" request from Hange (S4.2 E8). However, something to note with both scenes is that while they give depth to Levi's relationship with both characters, he essentially serves to highlight others. In the former, Levi's response directly challenges Erwin's dream, and allows this commander a defining moment of growth. Similarly in the latter, Levi is used as a means for Hange to express and eventually overcome their fears and insecurities about the deal they've been dealt as the new Commander of the Survey Corps (which at the time was rapidly disbanding under the Jaegerist movement).

In other words, Levi is the "subplot character" to Erwin's and Hange's individual arcs. (According to John Truby, 'The subplot character… provides another opportunity to define the hero through comparison and advance the plot.')

Which begs the question… at what point in the series, if any, is Levi defined as a character in and of himself?

Two prominent scenes from season 1 come to mind, which are namely: 1) The dying soldier scene (S1 E9), and 2) Petra's conversation with Eren in headquarters (S1 E15).

In the first, Levi comforts a dying soldier and vows to carry on their will and exterminate all Titans. When the soldier passes before he can reply to Levi's words, Levi turns to his fellow soldier Petra and asks her if he was heard. Petra provides confirmation, emphasizing the peaceful expression on the soldier's face.

In the second, Petra confronts a gloomy-looking Eren, who has been tasked to clean headquarters along with the rest of the Special Operations Squad (aka the Levi Squad). She specifically points out how Levi is 'not the hero he's expected to be' in the sense that he has a terrible personality, though she does so while smiling almost fondly, as though it doesn't matter what his personality is because they can always put faith in him as their Captain. It seems she wants Eren to understand this - or a notion similar.

It is in both moments that we are able to clearly see Levi beyond being a powerful soldier. Always, he is a threat. When he enters the scene we expect the shift in the dynamic of the battle - we expect him to win. He's a trump card. Erwin's last words to him are an order (S3 E16), and Hange's last words about him is "he's [Armin's] underling now, so really put him to work" (S4.3.1). Levi acknowledges Erwin's and Hange's humanity, bolsters it even, with the conviction of "dedicating your heart". In SNK he is the symbolism, the embodiment, of a soldier. That's all he really ever gets to be. Even his softest moments with - heck, anyone in the series - are meant to deeply reflect on the guilt, the burden, the purpose of getting the job done. ("So… you're telling me… I've spent all this time and energy running around killing people?" (S2 E12) / "Just think, if your hands were still clean... Jean wouldn't be here right now." (S3 E2) / "If we just run away and keep on hiding, what will we have left?" (S4.2 E8))

But for those singular moments in season one, he's more than just the threat. We see him as a human not only with (personality) flaws, but also with dreams and convictions, tied so seamlessly with his comrades' cause that we are reminded painfully, at the end of the series, that it was Levi who carried them all to the end. Throughout the story we see Levi lament fallen soldiers; we are exposed to how much he empathizes with his comrades and their deaths, to the point where it can be said that no one keeps us more aware of the lives that have been lost throughout the show more than Levi himself.

In this manner, Petra was the subplot character to Levi's hero. She gave the audience a (subconscious) glimpse of the Humanity within "Humanity's Strongest" and built the bridge that would lead us to compelling and important revelations about Levi's thoughts and actions as the show progressed. It's Petra whom he finds tending to a dying soldier; Petra whom he asks for confirmation that the soldier heard; Petra who, against all expectation, asks Eren to see past the station, the status, the soldier, to the person himself.

"He's not quite the great, perfect hero society makes him out to be, huh? The real Captain Levi is shorter than you'd expect, temperamental, crude, and unsociable. (…) You thought that because he's skilled, he doesn’t have to follow the rules like everyone else?" (S1 E15)

It's even Petra who, despite her rank, asks Levi to step aside when Eren becomes a half-baked Titan. Here, Levi's robust intuition and split-second decision making skills are shown even away from the battlefield. It's Petra who leads the Special Operations Squad in their apology to Eren (S1E19 "Bite"), who first instills in us (narratively) the notion of trusting your fellow comrades. More specifically, she is who convinces Eren to place his life in their hands. It's this notion that Levi carries with him even until the final arc - "I've saved Eren countless times over - each time, more comrades dying. All because I believed he was the hope of humanity." (S4.1 E13) In the manga (Ch112), it's Petra we see at the forefront of this belief.

"Do you, Eren? Do you find it that hard to trust us?" It's Petra who dies, her words the final say in convincing Eren: "I believe my squad will be victorious." (S1 E21)

"It's like some awful joke," Levi reflects later on, as his comrades' dying hopes and dreams flash by in the canopy of the forest. "What the hell was the hope that we saw? Such bullshit. It's not even funny." (S4.1 E13) "We" here could definitely mean the soldiers who've given their hearts, but the metaphorical representative of this heart is Petra herself... "Eren! Trust us." (S1 E19)

And in the end, it's Petra in the forefront alongside Erwin and Hange, representative of her fellow soldiers, the one (experienced/veteran) Scout we've seen and interacted with in the entire series to have professed the values of hope, of trust, of belief, which is henceforth carried on by Levi himself, his own convictions, his own dreams. They are, in the entire series, the glimpse we get into the Scout Regiment beyond the series' titular character and his comrades in the 104th, and a thorough dive into what makes Levi Humanity's, not simply its strongest.

Her character song, "The Light of Dual Wings", can literally be taken as an allegory of the dreams the Scouts have entrusted to Levi. That's how prominent she is as a Scout; how coded her devotion to Levi is, whether interpreted platonically, romantically, or narratively, as the dedication of hearts.

So, yes, I love them together. I love their scenes, the implications of them narratively, the values Petra professes so effortlessly in the air, washed away by the higher tides of the Female Titan arc. I love that it's still Petra at the forefront, in all of Levi's reflections moving forward, because she is our first glimpse into Levi's character, the real him.

In the end this is just a ship post struggling to keep from delving too much into the symbolism of Levi and the Scouts (how Levi is the face of the Scouts more so than Erwin himself, really), the truest depiction of humanity's collective fight for freedom in this entire series. In his early days, Eren wanted to be a Scout, after all. It is Levi and Petra who push him forward into 'that hell' - for better and worse, respectively.

[savagewildnerness]

The Score of S2E5/E12 Don't be afraid, just start the tape.

OK, Someone was asking about the repeated piano notes that recur in S2E5 so I thought I’d have a quick go through the episode.

Please bear in mind that I have not listened to the soundtrack for season 2.  In S2E1 I was so profoundly moved by the exquisite violin music in the first 15 minutes that I was totally overwhelmed and I had to watch the first part of the episode several times to take it all in and be composed enough to continue watching.  

The way the music impacted me there, hearing it for the first time alongside the drama, as intended, made me realise I absolutely do not want to listen to the score before watching the whole of S2 and so not feel the emotion from it as intended, alongside the drama the first time I watch the show!  

I’ll spoil myself by analysing every trailer to the millisecond and reading your analyses… but the music: NO.  I even regretted knowing the Come to Me reprise before it was in the show.  

And even the S1 score… I know it well, but I listen to it on CD in the car, so I’m not familiar with the track titles as I’ve never really looked at most of them…. So, that said - this will not be referencing tracks on the score.  Perhaps I’ll return to this in more depth - analysing the music more thoroughly and with reference to the score after the series is over, but for now…

Piano pedal:

The piano pedal and theme recurs 5 times in the episode, and looking at when, I realised it is all related to Louis uncovering his suicide attempt as it culminates (on the fourth occurrence) in the full theme…

I transcribed just the first bit of slow notes, which isn’t very interesting, but here it is:

Musically the theme is just 5, slow pedal C’s the first and last occurrence - bookmarking the delve into the uncovering of memory.

The second occurrence adds an Eb, suggesting it has somewhere it is starting to head towards… but is still just 5 slow pedal notes.

The third occurrence starts the theme for a fair amount the theme and the fourth occurrence is the full theme.

1 - 5 slow pedal C’s. This occurs in Dubai at this point:

Daniel: How often has Armand spared a life?

Louis: Armand could see I was partial to you

I.e. When Daniel first opens up the concept of exploring his and Louis’ memories of San Francisco, we first hear the pedal C’s

2 - 3 C’s, an Eb and a C - 5 slow notes.  This occurs in Dubai

Daniel: I want to know, for me, what happened between us

So, the first two occurrences are Daniel opening Louis up to the idea of exploring what really happened at the first interview in San Francisco.

3 - Slow pedal C’s and Eb’s into the start of a longer piano theme.  This occurs in San Francisco

This is when Louis is talking about Claudia leaving on the train and him staying behind with Lestat and then…

Daniel: And then what?

The theme starts as Louis talks about this first contemplation of suicide and continues through Daniel’s plea to be made a vampire

4 - Full theme in San Francisco

This begins after Louis and Armand’s argument; after:

Louis: I loved her (Claudia)

Armand: But she didn’t love you.  Not like he did.  Not like I have.

Louis: I know

I don’t know if this is on the season 2 soundtrack, but I’ll presume it is, and it’ll be this, full version that continues now in its full form, through Louis going into the sun.

5 - 5 slow pedal C’s in Dubai, as at the start

This occurs when Armand returns, at the end of the episode

Armand: I could see you were partial to him.  I preserve your happiness even when you don’t or can’t.

Louis and Armand: I had a hunch

Armand: Daniel might prove fruitful in later times

The other, creepy soundscape with distorted horror/electronic sounds (YUM!) happens for the first time after Louis’ suicide attempt when Daniel is mentioned and it scores all the horror elements with Daniel and Armand, where Armand is basically torturing Daniel, trying to find out what makes Daniel fascinating to Louis and Daniel is terrified he is going to die.

The first occurrence:

Louis: He’s alive?

Armand: The boy? The fascinating boy.  He’s fine.  He’s just fine.  Oh, he’s fine.  You’re fine.  We’re all fine.

It continues as Daniel recounts what he can remember - the corpse, etc. and develops as Armand seeks what makes Daniel fascinating

I didn’t really delve into this part, but - violins/strings and a more familiar to most episodes, though sparser, predominantly piano and violin score with lots of high and thinner notes than usual return when Lestat is mentioned between Louis and Armand and Armand talks about listening to the tapes and why Louis did the interview.  It’s very pared back, but the “The drum was my heart” theme (Ahh… is that the origin track for the theme?  Anyway - you know the theme dooo doooooo, do doooo dooooooo one!) is there with high pedal strings as Lestat speaks to Louis and it suddenly drops away as Lestat vanishes…

Armand’s “easeful death” talk with Daniel as he eases him to his death also has a more musically full (and  beautiful) theme.  It reminds me a bit of Moonlight sonata and has Armand-romance-theme vibes in its gentleness - beautiful, delicate and simple.  Then a violin comes in and it becomes increasingly poignant and emotional and eventually (I feel) it has a romance to it too, especially from when Armand says “It’s the comfort we all long for” - it sort of resolves to a musical home.

Again, there is more resolved piano & strings music at the end with Daniel and Louis.

OK, so only a little analysis.  I just watched the episode once and made a few notes.  I basically did it to work out if those repeated piano pedal notes had a specific connection.  And they do - it is specifically tied into (at least as I understood it, from my listening) the uncovering of Louis’ suicide attempt.

Let me know if you’d like me to look at the music ever in the future.  I dunno… part of me feels like killing a fairy to analyse stuff like this rather than just experience the magic, but also I find it very interesting.  This is only a first little touch on stuff.  I could analyse and actually think about it…

Gosh, I adore Daniel Hart’s score!  And I love how unusual and differently this episode was scored compared to other episodes…

Let me know if this was daft of me or if you’d ever like me to look into the music at all.

[ladyluscinia]

I know my last experience with a season ending on a note everyone hated and unanimously tore to fucking shreds for destroying the story on every level was... atypical. Lockdown. 6 month mass hysteria at minimum. Conspiracy theories that were, like, real things we had on camera. There was a Twitter wedding. Creative fervor that broke 100k fics on AO3.

Like. I know this is not a rational point of comparison and I'm not going to expect anything in my lifetime to match it 🤣

But.

If that was the highest high of post-season fandom engagement built on a cocktail of tasting everything you ever wanted AND the absolutely lethal levels of spite and swearing to eat showrunners' hearts in the marketplace, then whatever the fuck is going on after OFMD S2 is the opposite of that.

OFMD S1 was a huge fandom explosion. One silly little streaming show that had a gay kiss and then it skyrocketed. Fic numbers were soaring, high activity fic and meta engagement lasted for at least four months, it was constantly trending and flooding the dash... Like, fucking hell, over a year and a half after the immediate finale fervor it beat Stucky in the top ships bracket?!? To the point I was willing to give it what felt like due credit toward its potential as a future juggernaut ship. Not guaranteed, of course, but the potential was there.

In that context, new content should be a blow out party. Which it kinda was pulling off as it was airing, but looking back now? Not even quite a month later?

The effect of S2 on the fandom is like... a blip. Possibly over already.

New fic numbers started dropping off the moment the finale aired and have returned to deep hiatus levels. It's dropped off trending and streaming leaderboards... I'm very curious to see the first tumblr Week in Review since the finale, though we're still waiting due to the holiday.

Like, I've even popped on to scroll a few Izzy hater blogs that I know loved the finale out of morbid curiosity what they were up to, and I'm telling you... if I hadn't just watched the new season I'd think they were still over a year into hiatus. Saw some standard bitching about the izcourse / Edward takes (aka the one thing that kept them going all hiatus), they're currently passing around posts mocking one specific long OFMD version of TJLC I'm just hearing of, the same BTS gifsets everyone else is thrilled by... But barely any new meta or discussions. There's like 2 people posting actual analysis of S2 that's getting reblogged and they aren't even names I recognize from the hiatus. Nor is it particularly interesting to read. 🤷‍♀️

In July of 2022 I could pop onto a random OFMD blog and scroll through a dozen enthusiastic Stede or BlackBonnet metas about jacket colors or that moth from 1x07 or lighthouse symbolism or whatever. Now the new stuff has the same energy as posts from June 2023. It's borderline dead. And this is what it's like when there's an active campaign to engage fandom and Renew as a Crew?

(I will say fanartists are bringing some energy and there's some lovely pieces being passed around, which I do think the Renew as a Crew campaign is helping to boost?)

Even the hundreds of people saying it was a beautiful season and they loved it so much don't seem to be finding it a very engaging or inspiring season.

It's such a turn, like, what the fuck.

[mimicha-arts]

Date: 09/13/2023 In my previous post, I wrote that time in s2 is broken and dead. I was curious if this was true for s1, too… For me the main problem of the last month was the dates in the files (character intros), the date of Emma's death + September 9th mentioned in episode 3, so I tried to consider these as related things. I always was confused by April-September thing, I thought that it is a mistake, but. Probably not. So. Let's break down the first episode! It was a deep dive, I'm not sure how real any of this can be, but (c) Let's divide everything into three parts:

Сhronology

It's not about Quede

April is not April

WARNING: SPOILERS

Chronology

April 16, which we see hours later that day. Qiao Ling receives an order from an unknown customer.

The goal is to get financial core data of Quede company. Information has to be obtained by diving in Emma, during the last financial settlement meeting before the release of the financial report, 2 days ago, on the April 14th, photo was posted at 10 pm.

Additionally, it is mentioned that there was an earlier photo, but they start with the most recent one so that the information is not “outdated”.

Events take place from April 16th to 17th in the present for Lu Guang. From April 14th to 15th in the past for Emma and Cheng Xiaoshi.

April 14th: 10:00 pm - start of diving. As Emma, Cheng Xiaoshi lived through the events in the company's office and stayed for overwork.

April 15th: About 2:45 a.m. Emma's parents text to her, Cheng Xiaoshi decided to reply.

9-10 am, morning, the meeting began. A conflict situation occurs, the laptop falls, Emma!Xiaoshi is on the floor. Lu Guang records data from the screen - Cheng Xiaoshi returns to the present time.

Later this day. Somewhere later that day, information about the company is leaked, involved people are arrested (news from April 17th)

Before 10 pm: Emma comes home after this day, she realizes that the situation with Quede is a stain on her career, because she was Mr.Zhu's assistant, there is no way for her to find a job in this field anymore.

Lately she discovers messages (02:48, that Cheng Xiaoshi texted) with her parents - this becomes her motivation for a call. It's the same day, still today (今天）- April 15th. This is the reason why we know that the disclosure of the company's affairs occurred on the same day after the meeting.

After 10 pm, before 10:30 pm Emma goes to the train station but runs into Liu Min, agrees to go with him.

About 10:34 p.m Liu Min attacks Emma.

Somewhere between April 15th and 16th. An accident occurs, Liu Min will be left paralyzed.

April 16: At the moment of dawn, Emma jumps from the bridge.

Later this day, Quede Company was suspended (news from the 17th)

Later, Emma's body is found in the river in the evening (mentioned as "yesterday", news from the 17th)

April 17: present 9-10 am: Lu Guang gives instructions to Xiaoshi, they successfully obtain the information, Xiaoshi returns to the “present” time.” Evening, the same day: We receive information about the disclosure of financial fraud in the past tense until the 17th from the news at the end of the ep. Additional note: in these events, there is another Cheng Xiaoshi from the "future" (events of October 22-23), who hides first in Liu Min's trunk, and then on the bridge with Emma. The chronology of events can be written as follows:

So it's clear - Lu Guang himself receives the necessary information about the company on the 17th at 10 am. By that time, Mr. Zhu had already been arrested 2 days ago and the company's activities had been suspended 1 day ago. Precisely because of financial fraud.

Also his reaction to Emma's death is interesting. Okay, that's a guess, but I always had the feeling that he knew she was dead from the very beginning of the case.

2. It's not about Quede

And so, we know that data about the company and financial fraud were already published on the 15th. The question remains simple - why did the mysterious unnamed client need the data, since he would have received it only on the 17th, after information about the fraud in Quede was already made public before they (the client) offered this task/job. So what other events are happening on nearby dates? They're not in the episode, they're in the characters intro. Obviously, the unknown client was unknown for a reason. As we also know, there is a character (or characters, there are 2 signatures on the documents) who are collecting dossiers on the main trio. There is a high chance that all of this is connected. This event takes place from the 14th to the 17th in total. Date on Qiao Ling's file: april 8th Lu Guang's file: april 10th Cheng Xiaoshi's file: april 12th

Documents for Lu Guang should be destroyed on the 17th, for Xiaoshi - on the 19th. This timing is kinda perfect. In my opinion, this task/job came as part of an "investigation" so that the unknown could better study the process of trio's work, understand the abilities of Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang, probably, what their time limits are. So, yes. If we look at it from this side, this is not about Quede, it is not about financial fraud, it has never been about it. This research is to answer questions about the abilities of Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang that remained on the files.

3. April is not April

April is a lie. Events take place in September. Although it’s more likely that the time has already been broken since the first season, and we technically don’t know which one is correct. Although Lu Guang's watch and documents (character dossiers) point to April, real events cannot possibly take place in April for many reasons.

1. 3rd financial quarter This is the main reason. This is stated in the first episode by Qiao Ling, and should immediately raise questions. The third quarter cannot possibly be April, absolutely. Because the following months are considered the third quarter: July, August, September.

2. News, 3rd ep Qiao Ling listens to the news on her headphones. We are not given a name, but the circumstances are the same - we learn that Emma's "suicide" was most likely a murder. Once again, it's September.

3. Cold weather is coming Emma's parents arrive to bring Emma warm clothes and mention that it is getting colder. If it were April, on the contrary, it would only get hotter, but everything is different when it comes to autumn.

4. Murders I am firmly convinced that the numbering of victims does not correspond to the real chronology. Yes, we know that there were more victims, and Emma was never "first", I mean those cases that were consolidated by the police and are in Xiao Li's documents. We have dates for an early murder in April, Emma being somewhere in the middle of that "break", since she was killed in both “April” and “September”, and there were murders after her, where the month was not indicated. Which once again points to the fact that something is wrong with these two months. Now things are going to get confusing, we consider April like September here. I can't see and understand details, so I'm only able to find the dates, since the numbers can at least be distinguished. Emma is considered the first murder only by number (died "April-September" 16th), but number 4 (Zao Cai, a blond man) died before her, "April-September", 2nd. In the folder, her documents go after his case. I think the fact is that initially the police believed that Emma committed suicide; at first, her case was not classified as a part of a series of murders, so police did not assign a chronological fifth number, but later, with new clues, simply moved her old documents in the "correct" chronological order to fifth place.

This technically makes Emma a 5 case… Or even a 6th. Because case 6 (Nan You) is also not without mysteries. The date of death is 14. I'm not sure why they put her file after Emma. Maybe they're unsure of the date or something and it's just an estimated date? So her date of death also “fell out of space.” But if 14 is correct, then this girl died 2 days earlier than Emma herself, and Emma technically becomes case 6.

The eighth case (Zhao Lin) occurs on 25th. The mystical 7 case is somewhere before that date, but we don't know how much of this is actual April or September.

In addition to mysterious 7th case, we also have 3 other earlier victims. They had to die before "April-September" 2nd, so the time of their death is roughly "March-August". We haven't seen their documents, but we know about their cases because of the photographs (the girl in the pink suit is probably the girl with the dog from ep11, since the BG is the same)

And also Xu Shanshan.

Who technically didn't die due to the time loop, but most likely "died" (since Lu Guang was thrown out) in the original events, which was still visible for Lu Guang in the unaltered photo.

I mentioned this in the post about s2 - the interesting thing is that Xu Shanshan's phone, as shown in s2, does not have a single photo from May to the end of October (current events with unknown date), which is quite. Strange.

All the murders had to happen with the similar style and certain time frame that they could be connected as a series. Given the news about Xu Shanshan: it was written - no new murders had occurred for several weeks (数周未出现新的受害者), which fits the September-October period (s1 ends at October 23). So we know for sure that the last cases with unspecified months should have occurred in September.

So. Obtaining financial information as a goal does not make sense, "someone" studies our main characters at the "perfect time", and all the dates are intertwined and have inaccurate implications. Like, almost half a year was literally “stolen” from time? Or something similar. The dates are so deliberately strange that I am speculating solely that time was broken from this point already, not even in s2 - what happened can only be speculated for now until we are told the background of Lu Guang's story. And who is the real 7th victim if April and September are mixed up, and the time has been “changed”. The funny thing is that everything also connected to the birthdays: April 15th - Cheng Xiaoshi's birthday September 16th - Qian Jin's birthday October 23th - the day Lu Guang was stabbed, exactly before his birthday Maybe I understand something incorrectly and I'm going down the wrong path altogether. No conclusions. My CPU is blown up. Thank you @wrathyforest for discussing this with me, trying to find connections, completing everything with time points, you are the best!

[noneorother]

Season 2 is the tales of Crowley Hoffmann, *part 2*

I guess this has to be a series now too. Part 1 l Part 2

I'm doing a series on the (frankly) astounding amount of parallels between the Powell & Pressburger movie The Tales of Hoffmann and S2 of Good Omens. I really recommend part 1 first. 7. Green is evil So if you've wondered to yourself why Hell has changed so much, colour-wise in S2 vs S1, I have come with answers! Here's a fun comparison between the two hells :

Now let's looks at the the evil admin exchange in the Tales off Hoffmann :

(The Tales of Hoffmann, Lindorf takes the contract in The Automaton Ball)

Whenever something evil happens in "The automaton ball" sequence, the light changes to this sickly green. Colour is THE important symbolism in Hoffmann, so now we know green is evil. 8. All the main characters are present and accounted for I've already covered in part 1 how Crowley is Hoffmann, Aziraphale is Stella, and alluded to the fact that Lindorf (main bad guy) is the Metatron. Here's a more comprehensive list of all the characters, because they're all there. N.B. The same actors play multiple roles in The Tales of Hoffmann. Gabriel is Schlemil/Spalanzani/Franz Léonide Massine actually plays 3 characters in the movie : Franz, a housekeeper who sings the only funny song in the opera:

He also plays Spalanzani in Venice : A high ranking double agent who's been crossed by the bad guy Lindorf before, and who is currently hanging around Stella in Venice. He also plays Schlemil in The Automaton Ball, who helped make Stella the automaton and helps put on the ball. He strikes a deal with Lindorf to sell Stella.

Muriel is the assistant Andreas

Andreas doesn't have much of a role in the story, they are mostly worry free and eager to please. They are there to be bribed by Lindorf to give him the key to Stella's dressing room, and the note for Hoffmann. I say they because even though this role is played by a man, this getup is EXTREMELY ambiguous for 1950s England.

Now look at the last scene of both the movie and S2 of good omens.

Shax is Nicklaus

In both casting and character, Shax is obviously Nicklaus. The all red outfit is a dead giveaway, but even the haircut in hell is similar. Nicklaus is Hoffmann's buddy, but they don't actually move the story forward or help him much. The fact that they're everywhere in the story but not really DOING much except casting doubt is pretty telling.

Beelzebub is the muse

Now we get into characters where's it's kind of important know know both the opera and the movie. The only character we seem to be missing in the movie version is Beez, but don't worry, I've got another male character now usually played by a woman dressed in Charlie Chaplin drag and their name is "The Muse". Basically, the muse in the opera is there to make sure Hoffmann does his job (being a poet) and isn't interested in the girl anymore (Stella).

Jacques Offenbach: The Tales of Hoffmann, The Muse & Lindorf, S2E6 Beelzebub

The Metatron is Lindorf

Lindorf is a major bad guy in both, but movie Lindorf has had all of his lines removed at the beginning, so he's the bad guy in the sense that he's doing all these bad things, and is the antagonist in every minisode and in real life. But we never really find out why. His evil genius speech is cut out of the movie, but is very much there in the opera. He's a shapeshifter, and takes on the form of 4 characters in the movie, all of whom hurt Hoffmann by ultimately taking Stella away from him.

Here's Lindorf spying on Hoffmann in the prologue. And the reveal at the end when he comes to take Stella to "the temple of the gods"...

Here are his other three forms in the minisodes. By the way his name in the last one, I shit you not, is DR.MIRACLE. In each minisode he plays a pivotal role in removing Stella from Hoffmann, first by legal contract, second by convincing Stella to double-cross him for a shiny reward, and third by trapping Stella in a time loop and then straight up killing her and sending her to heaven (she gets resurrected no worries).

So my question for now is : Does the plot of season 2 ALSO follow the movie?

_____________________________________

Obviously, there's always more. Next post it's analysis time baby....

[percheduphere]

Okay. First post trying to use gifs properly. I've switched out improper gifs for these type for my last 3-4 posts. Gonna work on some more corrections tomorrow when I have time. Please let me know if I'm misstepping anywhere. Thanks for your patience! That said...

LET'S TALK ABOUT SYLVIE💕, INTERSECTIONAL FEMINISM (SYLVIE & LOKI)✊🏽, AND QUEER REPRESENTATION (LOKIUS)🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️!

SYLVIE

I'm rooting for Lokius, AND I also love how much Sylvie has forged a life for herself in S2. A lot of her development is implied, so I think it's worth looking at her growth outside the context of Loki himself: She found a job, locals know her by name, she has friends and acquaintances, she has hobbies!

People call her by name in her timeline on 4 occasions:

1. When the McDonald's shift manager (John) checks in on her after work. See the kid with the tie in the image below. I couldn't find any gifs of him visiting Sylvie at her truck. She asked him if his mom was gonna pick him up to make sure he was gonna be okay late at night. 🥹

2. When a customer picks up their McDonald's order and thanks her (cheerfully). Also note how many employee stars she had on her badge! Queen.

3. Lyle at the record store. They seem like really good friends, and I got the "beginnings of an attraction" vibe between the two of them. Unfortunately, the gifs below are the only ones I could find of him and I'm still searching for the source. His interaction with Sylvie before spaghetti-trauma was so sincere. He could tell she was down and offered her Velvet Underground. Come on, that's a solid move.

4. Eric at the bar, who comments 2 shots of bourbon is a good choice. Let me tell you, finding a gif of Eric was like finding a needle in a haystack, but here he is leaning close to Sylvie. Thank you, @zehiiro!

I tried to find more gifs of all the people Sylvie has in her life but couldn't find any, which is a darn shame because there are so many subtle cues she's built a support system on her own and she's thriving.

She's a regular at many places in her timeline, and when people greet her, they do so with a smile. She loves music, a hard drink, and punk fashion.

When she engages with Loki, she may come across as cold, but I honestly think she's being firm with her boundaries and true to her beliefs. The TVA threatened her life for centuries. I don't doubt setting foot in the building is traumatic for her, which may explain why she was more harsh than usually in S2E4. Her psychological defenses were all on overdrive. Yet when Sylvie's in her own timeline, far away from the TVA, she can be her real self. Turns out, her real self is pretty well-liked! (I'll talk about how this is mirrored in Loki soon).

INTERSECTIONAL FEMINISM

Sylvie's an unapologetically "selfish" woman who knows what she wants, wants it on her own, is doing it on her own, and isn't afraid to put her foot down when it comes to her personal boundaries. We should be applauding all of that!

This is exactly the kind of female representation we need, but the show did Sylvie a disservice in S1 by coming at her character as a love interest first (look at all the media promos classifying her as such) instead of more thoughtfully showing how badly she has been affected by the TVA and planting what her desires are throughout. If they had done this with more intention and finesse, her position in S2 wouldn't come off as completely irresponsible.

As a result of this apparent marketing and pre-production development decision, her perception as a character (by both lokius and sylki shippers) is muddled by the question of her relationship status with Loki. This truly isn't fair, most especially to Sophia Di Martino.

Of course, Sylvie isn't perfect. No well-written character should be. I just think she's cooler than she gets credit for precisely because her character arc doesn't require the fulfillment of a romance. She will be fine whether or not she ends up with Loki. It's very feminist!

Loki, in turn, found safety, belonging, and love at the TVA. All the things that are the complete opposite of Sylvie's lived experience. I often see fans complaining about how Loki is ooc in his own series.

The thing is, and Loki admits this himself: it's all part of an illusion.

This illusion started far before the first Thor movie. He comes from a hyper-masculine (dare I say toxic-masculine) warrior society. His true nature doesn't conform with this, so he has to overcompensate with some (genuinely awesome) bad assery.

BUT he doesn't like it.

As a comparison to a far lesser but more relatable degree: imagine putting on a customer service persona 24/7. UGH. It's just not sustainable without becoming increasingly angry and bitter, which is what Sacred Timeline Loki becomes. Mobius gets ahead of this.

In the series, Loki can finally TURN OFF that persona, and TURN IT ON again when it's needed (and fun!).

He also now has the freedom to be silly, expressive, and magical (unapologetically queer!) without anyone making fun of him for it.

The end result is a much calmer, happier, likable person (like Sylvie in her timeline, his defenses are no longer on overdrive!). Who shows him this is possible?

Here's the receipt:

QUEER REPRESENTATION

Sociopoliticaly, Loki and Mobius come from a different angle. A lot of men (cis, fluid, trans, or otherwise) struggle with the social expectation of burying feelings and never ever showing vulnerability, especially to another men. Now, some might argue that shipping men together perpetuates this construct. There's some truth to this, but only through the lens that it is shameful to be gay. In order to get to a point in society where there's no shame in being mistaken as gay (or queer, generally) when being affectionate with another man, there must be continuous positive representation of homosexual relationships in which the characters are not stereotypes. Loki and Mobius are exactly this, especially Mobius.

Whereas Loki, on Asgard, represents the openly queer oppressed (i.e. magic and cunning, qualities historically tied to witches or "immoral women" instead of brute strength), Mobius can represent the closeted repressed.

In S1, Mobius was much more uptight, rule-abiding, and just shy of holier-than-thou. The power structure in which he existed perpetuated this, until Loki reveals to him it was all a lie (an illusion).

In S2, he becomes more flexible, more fun-loving, and more expressive in his affection. In S1, most of his support of Loki manifested as words of affirmation. In S2, his support extended to physical touch and bonding. Mobius, if seen through the lens of a closeted man allegory, finds the courage (and partner) to slowly come out.

[theetherealbloom]

UNEVEN ODDS - CH. 9 (Epilogue)

Chapter 9 (Epilogue): There’s Some Kind Of Heaven Just Around The Corner

Summary: The Reader is dragged into the Last of Us universe and has no choice but to watch the events unfold or will she be able to change what was already written?

Paring: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Age-gap Romance, Violence, ANGST, Swearing, Suicide, FLUFF, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Crying, Suggestive content, the pandemic, character death, INFECTED, MY SCIENCE IS WONKY, probable plot holes, rusty writing, TLOU is dark please read at your own risk!

Word Count: 2k

A/N:  After many months of not writing, I present to you the epilogue of S1 for TLOU. Thank you for sticking by me with my silly little stories, I can never express how grateful I am to have you all. I’m horrified and excited at the thought of S2, maybe the reader could change the important ending… who knows. Stay safe everyone &lt;3

Song: Intermission by Sleeping At Last

Previous Chapter -> Season 2 | Series Masterlist

TLOU WORLD 2023

SILVER LAKE, COLORADO TO SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH – A FEW WEEKS LATER…

The cool breeze of the evening brushes against your face as you sit on the porch of the farmhouse, strumming the strings of the guitar Joel now treasures. The people of Jackson have embraced you warmly, welcoming you back into their community. The topic of the Fireflies remains unspoken, a shared understanding between you and Joel. It lingers in the background, a memory that only surfaces when necessary.

Life in Jackson has brought a sense of normalcy, a semblance of the life you had before the chaos consumed the world. But this time, it's different. This time, you feel like you belong, like you are loved. The little family you've formed with Joel and Ellie has found solace within the walls of this farmhouse. As the seasons pass by, a routine settles in, and the farmhouse pulses with life, as if it has its own heartbeat.

The bugs begin to retreat once again, signaling the transition from summer to autumn. You find yourself on the porch, the guitar resting gently on your lap. It was a gift for Joel, a token of appreciation and love, but it also earned you a playful scolding. Joel made it clear that you should never leave Jackson without informing him first. It was a testament to his protectiveness, a reminder of the bond that has grown between you.

At this moment, the world seems so simple. The rush of blood through your veins transports you back to your youth, when fear and uncertainty were distant notions. Seventeen again, you find yourself unafraid of death, daring to dream once more. The curve of the valley before you holds a profound meaning. Happiness emanates from within as you gaze at the serene surroundings.

As the words echo in your mind, they bring a smile to your face. Joel's voice resounds in your memory, "I'll never let you go." Those five words hold a depth of emotion, a promise that transcends the hardships you've endured. In this tranquil moment, you realize that you have found a home, a place where love and safety intertwine. You are content, knowing that Joel is by your side, ready to face whatever challenges may come.

The future may hold uncertainties, but for now, you bask in the stillness, cherishing the connection that binds you and Joel together. The world may be broken, but within the embrace of this farmhouse, you have found solace, love, and a renewed sense of purpose. And as you continue to strum the guitar, the notes reverberate through the air, carrying the harmony of your newfound happiness into the world.

Lost in the nostalgic melody, you find yourself humming a tune that holds a special place in your heart. The tranquility of the moment is interrupted by the gentle reminder that you're wearing one of Joel's shirts, two sizes too big. It's a simple gesture, a symbol of the closeness you share, but it also serves as a reminder that nothing is certain in this world. Doubts linger, even as you begin to feel at home.

The passing year has been arduous, and its weight lingers in your mind. The slow progress makes you question if you're truly moving forward. Trust is a scarce commodity, earned by only a select few. The scars etched upon your bodies, remnants of battles fought in your youth, serve as a constant reminder of the dangers that persist. And yet, the revelation of a collapsing sun and rising seas, of crumbling buildings, brought about a new understanding of the fragility of existence.

As you continue strumming and humming, Joel stands by the door, captivated by the beauty that radiates from you. The sun begins its descent on the southern horizon, casting a warm glow on the scene. Unable to resist any longer, Joel quietly approaches, his footsteps barely audible. He wraps his arms around your waist, his presence causing you to giggle. His lips press against the side of your neck, the scruff of his chin tickling your skin.

"Joel!" you playfully chide, a mixture of surprise and delight in your voice. He responds with a hum, his voice filled with affection, "My sweet Birdie..."

You quickly place the guitar on the side, and in that tender moment, you realize that despite the uncertainties and doubts that surround you, you have found a sanctuary in each other. Joel's embrace offers a sense of security, a refuge from the storms that rage outside. You feel a rush of gratitude for the love you've found amidst the chaos, and a renewed determination to protect what you hold dear.

Basking in the warmth of Joel's affection, you turn your head to meet his gaze, curiosity tugging at your thoughts. "How was the patrol today?" you inquire, wanting to know about the world beyond the safety of Jackson's walls. 

Joel plants gentle kisses on the side of your head, your cheek, and finally on your lips, his love conveyed through each tender touch. His gaze locks with yours, his southern accent subtly peeking through as he responds, "Today was good, darlin'. Nothin' for your pretty head to worry about."

A sense of relief washes over you, knowing that for at least one day, the dangers that loom outside haven't posed a threat. But your thoughts naturally drift to Ellie, the young woman who has become an integral part of your lives. You can't help but bring her up, knowing that Joel's bond with her is unbreakable.

"What about Ellie? How's she doing?" you ask, genuine concern lacing your words. Ellie's resilience and determination have become a source of inspiration, even amidst the darkest of times.

A soft smile tugs at the corners of Joel's lips as he replies, his voice filled with fondness, "Ellie's holdin' up. Been keepin' busy, learnin' new skills, and takin' care of herself. She's got that fire in her, just like you."

The mention of Ellie's fiery spirit brings a wave of admiration. You can't help but feel proud of her growth, of the strength she embodies. In this broken world, the relationships you've forged hold immense importance, anchoring you to hope and reminding you of the enduring power of love.

Nestling closer to Joel, you rest your head against his chest, the steady beat of his heart a soothing lullaby. "I'm glad she's finding her way," you murmur softly, your voice filled with genuine affection. "We're lucky to have her in our lives."

Joel's arms tighten around you, his voice brimming with tenderness as he responds, "Ain't that the truth, darlin'. We're blessed to have each other, and no matter what comes our way, we'll face it together."

Feeling a surge of love for Joel, you lift your head from his chest to meet his gaze. The twinkle in his eyes tells a story of unwavering devotion, and a mischievous grin plays upon his lips. You can't help but become enveloped in his warmth, finding solace in his presence.

"I don't tell you enough, Joel," you begin, your voice filled with sincerity, "but you mean the world to me. I love you.”

Joel's expression softens, his gaze locked with yours. He brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his touch gentle yet purposeful. "You know, darlin'," he replies, his voice slightly husky, "you mean the world to me too. There ain't a day that goes by where I don't thank my lucky stars for bringin' you into my life."

The vulnerability in Joel's words tugs at your heartstrings, and you lean in, pressing a tender kiss against his lips. It's a gentle affirmation of the love that binds you together, a silent promise of forever.

As you pull back, a playful glimmer dances in Joel's eyes. "You know," he says, a mischievous grin spreading across his face, "I reckon I'm the luckiest man alive. Not only do I have the most beautiful person by my side, but I've also got a hell of a good kisser."

His words elicit a giggle from you, the sound filling the air with pure joy. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you whisper, "Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Miller."

The two of you settle into a comfortable silence, relishing the closeness and the unspoken language of love that flows between you. With each passing moment, the world outside fades into insignificance, leaving only the warmth and tenderness of this intimate connection.

A gentle breeze rustles the leaves overhead, the delicate dance of foliage creating a symphony of nature. Your fingers entwined with Joel's, each touch a testament to the warmth and tenderness that envelops you in this serene moment.

In the ambient glow of the evening, the air pulses with an almost tangible affection. The space between you and Joel becomes a canvas painted with an unspoken promise that transcends the limitations of words. In the delicate interplay of shared vulnerabilities and profound love, you find a sanctuary where the concept of time fades, replaced by the eternal embrace of this connection.

In this fleeting instance, bathed in the gentle twilight, you take solace in the richness of your conversation. Despite the shadows that loom from past events and the uncertainties that await, the presence of Joel beside you becomes a steadfast beacon, guiding you through the dimly lit corridors of life.

The embrace continues, a dance of shared whispers and laughter, a rhythmic exchange that weaves together the tapestry of your lives. Amidst the harshness of the world, the cocoon of your love becomes a refuge, a source of strength, and a testament to the formidable power of unity.

Yet, beneath the surface of this idyllic scene, a quiet ache persists, a shadow that lingers in the corners of your consciousness. There are nights when Joel lies peacefully asleep beside you, unaware of the storm that rages within your mind. In those quiet hours, memories materialize, hazy and elusive, casting a spectral glow on the canvas of your thoughts.

You can see him on the porch, the soft strains of a guitar accompanying the melancholic melody of your recollections. The air is charged with the bittersweet echoes of a past that refuses to be forgotten. There are nights when tears silently trace the contours of your face, the weight of remembered endings pressing upon your heart.

Joel, the silent guardian at your side, remains oblivious to the tempest within. His presence is a comfort, but the specter of a different ending, an alternate narrative, leaves you restless in the quiet hours of the night. The story, once written in ink, now seems to bleed into the realm of what-ifs and what-could-have-beens.

And so, in the embrace of the night, you grapple with the dichotomy of love and loss, finding solace in the tangible warmth of Joel's presence, even as the ghosts of untold stories linger in the shadows.

TAGLIST:

@memento-mora @elijahssuit @tartiflvtte @lillylilly2 @kyuupidwrites @amethystwonder11 @syd-vixious @kidkrow666 @soulofapatrick @ponyboys-sunsets @superflymaterial @chaotic-imposter @vainbimbo @eva-stark @loki-an-idiot @littleshadow17 @undermoonlightwalk @afternoon-evening @notmysunnydale  @slurmp69 @gyllord @aerangi @mac5323 @friskynotebook @earth-to-lottie @chaotic-imposter @kodzuvk @hawkins-2000 @reallysparklychaos @trust-dreamcatcher @darkened-writer @memeorydotcom @welcomebackfelicia @rainbowpitofdoom @omg-its-typical-aesthetics-fan @marvelsimpcz @dorck26 @evienorville @munsons-queen @little-miss-bi @mxltifxnd0m @ohjoelmiller @coalix @taestrwbrry @avengersheart @gyllord @valentine-babe@missdragon-1 @ponyboys-sunsets @ipadkidsworld @otternanamilolo @issybee0611 @technicallysassyfox @cupcakemachete @manuchyy @darkened-writer @andyrazzledazzle @glossythor @virtueassassin @witchy-jadda @imonmykneessir @norr1e @mando-bix @thicficbich1 @adoringanakin @lalla-04p @reallysparklychaos @hollywoodmariposa @mando-bix @lunatic1012 @davosmymaster

[notachair]

ANALYSIS: On Armand's Dubai (interview) outfits

I don't know if this has been done before, but I'm doing it regardless. I have been thinking about the way Armand's been clothed compared to Louis in the Dubai setting through S1 and now in S2. So here's an attempt at an analysis of the fits Armand's been wearing throughout the series in these scenes... In comparison to Armand, who goes between black-white-maroon(-navy blue), Louis is always in full black during Dubai*, it's his color in Dubai. I find it interesting how the outfits interplay and visually sets a role for Armand during this timeline, within the setting of the interview. Btw, mind that this analysis is done within the now established dynamic they've got going on.

*Though there was one shot where he throws a glass on a painting where I thought the shirt might have looked more maroon like Armand's E3 shirt but… I'm uncertain about that.

Season 1

In S1, in his role as Rashid, he constantly wore his black fits, all the way up to and through the moment in the finale where he rids himself of the gloves and brown-coloured lenses. There is some variety to what shirts and robes he wears on top. He starts with something more similar to the other servants of the household, though unbuttoned somewhat at the neck. There's also of course the iconic deep V-neck, a display of the chest we continue to see consistently in S2 Dubai. Also, we cannot forget his key accessory; the ipad <3

My overall thought around the full black fits, is that they work as a visual representation and conformity to the Louis household and to Louis himself. Or rather a reverence, a subservient role at Louis' service. A visual "I'm at Louis' side and at his service". Louis and Armand's true relationship, and the tension in it from the disagreement over the interview, does leak through his clad self. But I wouldn't say it discounts the representation, as he functions within the stretched boundaries of his disguise, of (fake) Rashid. Perhaps one could also note on the double layers.

S2. Episode 1

Interestingly enough, the next time we see him- he's in stark white on top (gray white-striped slacks) (do iron your shirts though richlings). This color arrives together with an open disagreeable snarkiness towards the progress of the interview- we are told Armand didn't want Louis to do the interview. They're checkered, white to Louis' black, at odds (note that I say at odds, not enemies).

Eventually, after Armand's left and Louis' proceeding little emotional breakdown in front of Daniel, we get a scene in their bedroom. I'm not so sure how far the bedroom outfits display the same function as the interview fits, but I'll just note that Louis is again in black, and Armand in a white shirt with stripes, additionally to red pants (with a pattern!). Here they proceed to form a bridge, through Armand giving in some by offering his help and support at Louis' side with the interview.

After their bedroom conversation, they enter the room (and the interview) together as a united front- both wearing full black (black slacks). I see this as a visual representation of this unity they arrived at. I would add though, that Armand's shirt is just a tiny bit lighter than the full black which he'd worn previously in S1, one might say a dark gray. Though... it really may just be the fabric?

S2. Episode 2

Same fit throughout the episode as the last one from E1. The E1 ending fit lay the groundwork for the changed mood for the rest of E2, even though it ends more tense at the end. Armand is continuously at Louis' side here, and whatever disagreement is had, appears playful, rehashed, or otherwise softened. They're affectionate and awfully sweet as they recount their first encounter and early flirting (lmao to that scene of their "young friends"), getting a little lost in the memory of each other even. (As a small note, I'd say Louis learns something new about Armand here too)

If the shirt really is a dark gray, one might consider it an in-betweener of Louis' black and Daniel's consistent grays. Having reeled in some of that Daniel antagonistation. Though Armand's at Louis' side here, he does gently restrain Louis' ire towards Daniel, and even offer some comfort, during that last scene where he was "put back into place", where they refound the young interviewer of the 70s which they could have say "what happened next?" in no time (✔️mission accomplished guys!👏)

S2. Episode 3

In ep 3 however? He's suddenly wearing a loose maroon shirt (black slacks) throughout the episode, both through his one-on-one with Daniel and together with Louis. It's a dark colour, but I find the colour here curious as I'm a little uncertain how I should place it (it looks quite good btw XD), but it's clearly its own colour here in a sense.

He enters the scene and the interview on his own this episode, and proceeds to share part of his own odyssey (his use of it is so curious, cut brashly short and adjusted a bit for simplification, there's a purpose here. Multiple I believe. It works as a context parallel to the continuation of the Loumand romance and of the covens fallout. I'm also lowkey thinking it works as a vague mini parallel to his earlier background with Marius. The cycles of uprooted ground for him...). This was done through no true prompting of Daniel ("The question was; how do vampires hide from google, not how did Lestat break his heart").

Louis and Armand still appear very much united, and almost lost in each other again as they recount more of their developing romance (and ect.), though Daniel's being distracted by Talamasca hacker files. I'd say we've gotten to an achy part of Armand in E3, his bleeding heart I suppose. From his history with his coven and the fumble with Lestat, as well as his new opened heart to Louis 150 years later in the recountings. ("I locked away those words (I love you) for another 150 years. And then he arrived... and shattered that lock. This is what frightens me the most about you" OH LOVERBOY).

S2. Episode 4

In this episode he's wearing doubles layers, black on top of white (a nice fit again btw, he looks unreal), with dark gray striped slacks. Or, I noticed that the robe is actually a navy blue with black lapels at the front. And we see that's he's a little more disagreeable again during this part of the interview, where he's also actively contradicting Louis' own responses to Daniel's questions. They only truly butt heads until the moment with the pictures happen. Why this change again? I suppose... the upcoming event of what happens to Claudia might get them in a Mood. Though nevermind the Lestat shit, like... I suppose it parallels back to the troubles of their non-committed relationship in the recounts of the past, which is only "resolved" by their ending scene ("I want you. I want you more than anything in the world" "Are you sure about that, Arun?" "Yes, maitre" CRAZY BTW). It's sort of a more vulnerable appearance this episode, and the tensions/triggerpoints apparent in their relationship is on display again. But now it's with a greater context and awareness of its particulars. Much ouch.

After the moment with the pictures, we only see Dubai loumand again as they're fighting in the bedroom (apparently a quite silly one, which I admit is a relief and funny XD), which is a stark contrast to the new agreed commitment in their relationship and dynamic in Paris (crossed in different directions there). Armand's quick to bite back on the passive-aggressive comment that slipped, something that had clearly been built up throughout the episode (if not longer *cough*). I wonder... Anyway, they're in the process of removing their shirts, Armand's already got the black outer robe off and is working off his white shirt. Meanwhile, Louis is fumbling with his black shirt. Again, uncertain about the bedroom scenes, but I'd note that Armand was reaching out towards a blood-red shirt, rather than the white shirt with stripes that we'd seen in E1 or the maroon shirt of E3. Might it be a little pointer to the role he'll pick up in the story for E5? In the 70s? Regardless of his actual appearance during the Dubai timeline next episode, and whether or not this is just bed clothes. Indicative of a more... passionate and bloody role, something of a... "dark, twisted tenderness", as said by Assad, in a recent interview talking about E5 (much recommended read!).

Onwards & musings

I suspect for ep 5, Louis and Daniel will largely spend the interview focusing on whatever happened in the 70s on their own, and proceeding to build a united front between them against Armand as has been teased.

Talking about what's next though; ofc, it's... uncertain how much we have from the last few episodes, if... any actually. But from the glimpses we get of Dubai which has not been seen yet- he's again in full black, which I find interesting though not too surprising.

I don't know, I'm just really excited for what's next XD I'm really curious what they'll be doing for the final episodes for this marriage of theirs, and the role Armand's had in this odyssey of recollection here. Their relationship and the shit they've got going on deeply intrigue me 😊

[moony-2001]

Lore Olympus ep. 255 critique

Boy oh boy.

No remorse and tonal whiplash

We open this chapter with Persephone waking up not dead, total shock in Hades' arms, asking him if what happened was all a bad dream.

When Hades responds that what happened was not all in her head, we as the readers would expect Persephone to react with shock, remorse, something. Nope. Instead, we get this:

"Oh dear" with the most expressionless face ever. Our empathetic, caring protagonist everyone.

Now maybe I'm being too harsh. However, I feel like most people upon being confronted with the fact that they caused mass destruction would be pretty upset, if not incredibly so. But that's just my 2 cents.

We immediately transition into a party that's being set up for Persephone by all her friends and cohorts. We're then treated to this lovely image:

Thanks Captain Obvious.

While Hermes and Megaera argue over whether or not carrot cake is good, Thanatos pulls Hecate aside and notes about the massive uptick in incoming deaths which confirms what I said in my last critique post. While initially denying it, Hecate quickly realizes that something is very very wrong and that's when Hades and Persephone burst through the doors. Persephone bursts into tears and we get the most tone-deaf sentence ever:

Wow. Haha so funny. Comedy. Given the context of what just happened, this attempt at humor fell so flat.

I feel like the first third of this chapter kind of speaks for itself in terms of the writing and art, which is not good. There's just no emotion at all. I get the feeling that we're supposed to feel bad for Persephone and I just... don't. I don't have a whole lot more to say about this portion of the chapter; just that when I read it, I strained my eyeballs from rolling them so hard.

Hades tries not to make everything about himself challenge: Impossible

We transition into the post-party disaster cleanup where Persephone is hiding out in a greenhouse and Hades and Hecate are inside. Hades takes this opportunity to make everything about himself.

First of all, you're not and you're not.

But on a more serious note, this is not the first time we see Hades take a situation that has either nothing or almost nothing to do with him and make it all about himself. In fact, this is something he does frequently throughout the comic. Hades, in my opinion, very much has a "me, me, me, it's all about me" mindset.

One instance that comes to mind is this scene that happens in early s2 after Persephone opens up about her childhood and AOW. She barely has had time to share and process her traumatic experiences when Hades decides that this is the perfect time to dump 2000 years' worth of pent-up trauma onto a girl he's known for maybe 2 weeks at that point. Yet, he refuses to actively seek help during his time before meeting Persephone and even calls his therapist a hack.

Another instance is when Persephone confronts Hades about ripping out Alex's eye in s1 (when she was still somewhat empathetic to nymphs and whatnot).

Hades, when torturing Alex, very quickly shifts from the mentality of "you could've really damaged Persephone's reputation" to "I'm going to punish you because I view Persephone as my property and how dare you do this to me?"

Hades even outright admits it when confronted. He took a situation that had nothing to do with him and completely made it about himself.

Another instance is when Persephone tells Hades about what Apollo did to her and Hades flies off the handle and makes her trauma about himself. About what he is going to do even though that is not his decision to make.

It baffles me how conceited Hades is despite claiming to care about Persephone. I don't understand how you can look at a person who is going through a hell of a time and think "Let's make this about me". But that's a whole other post for the future

Zeus and Apollo

Skipping to the end of the episode, Apollo calls Hades (with Zeus' phone?) and tells him that he wants to take Persephone off Hades' hands.

Straight up, I don't like Hades and Persephone either as characters or together as a couple. I think they bring out the worst in each other. But Persephone is not some dog that needs to be rehomed and frankly, the whiplash Rachel is giving her audience in regards to Apollo's character is going to put me in a neck brace for life. She keeps flip-flopping between trying to make Apollo this sad, sympathetic anti-hero and the most egregious villain to walk the earth. You can not be both Zuko and Azula Rachel. You need to pick a lane and stay in it.

Apollo reveals that Zeus is in a coma and Hermes conveniently has the news up and running so we as the audience can be greeted with this:

"Attempted murder" you say? Of a being that literally can't die? Rachel, do you even know what attempted murder means?

"The defendant took at least one direct (but ineffective) step towards killing another person" and "The defendant intended to kill that person (malice aforethought)" -> California Law and Sentencing

While both of these are true in the fact that Apollo took the steps to kill Zeus and also intended to kill Zeus, they're gods. You can't murder a god. In order for murder to be attempted, or to even happen, the person in question has to be able to die. But then they're a human, not a god.

I feel like a more accurate report would be something along the lines of "Zeus has fallen victim to what seems to be a violent coup that has left him seriously incapacitated." Maybe that's not the best sentence to ever grace the writing scene, but hopefully my point is clear.

Also, how are people still oblivious to the fact that Apollo is, at the very least, incredibly suspicious right now. I mean his father has just been announced to be "dying" and instead of taking the time to mourn or even appear upset, he immediately slides into the position of power as King of the gods.

This chapter definitely wasn't as bad as 254, but it did make my brain hurt. Merry Christmas Eve and Happy Holidays to those of you who don't celebrate Christmas. See you all soon.

[twig-tea]

2023 BL/GL/QL Round-Up Post

I thought for posterity I'd post a reflection on everything I watched that completed in 2023. For me, that means anything that started in 2022 but the last episode was in 2023 is on this list, but anything that will still be airing after 31 December 2023 11:59 my time (EST) is not on this list, even if the bulk of the show did air in 2023.

A few stats:

110 discrete pieces of content (series/films)

clocking in at est. 600 hours of NEW BL/GL content only

from 9 different countries (Cambodia [1], Philippines [3], Hong Kong [1], Japan [18], Korea [19], Myanmar [1], Taiwan [6], Thailand [56], Vietnam [7])

~50% of the content I watched on this list is from Thailand

~85% of my content was on YouTube [40%], GaGaOoLaLa [23%] and iQIYI [21%].

[Note that this year a lot of older GMMTV shows moved off of YouTube and onto Viki so if you're looking at these stats to decide what to pay for, this won't account for that.]

This doesn't include re-watches or catching up on old shows [e.g. I re-watched Love Sick, My Ride the Series, Semantic Error, ITSAY/IPYTM, Our Dating Sim at least 3 times lol, and anything with a s2 I re-watched s1 to prep, among others, watched Fujoshi Ukkari Gei no Kokuru (2019) for the first time] or non-QL [e.g. Heartstopper s2, Our Flag Means Death s2, Taskmaster s. 15 & 16, Uncanny Counter s2, One Piece s1, etc.] but does include films as well as shows, though I don't count special episodes separately (so Wedding Plan counts once, though I watched both the show and the special).

I hope you all appreciate that with this much content, and with my general brand of being unable to make decisions, I really struggled to narrow down a top 10 list. What follows is the best I could do lol

Top 20 Shows I'd Recommend From This Year:

Moonlight Chicken

Our Dating Sim

Bed Friend

The Eighth Sense

La Pluie

Sing My Crush

Tokyo in April Is...

Wedding Plan

Laws of Attraction

I Cannot Reach You

I Feel You Linger in the Air

What Did You Eat Yesterday S2

I Became the Lead in a BL Drama

If It's With You

Love in Translation

Our Dining Table

My Personal Weatherman

My Beautiful Man: Eternal

My School President

Be My Favorite

+10 I liked but I would only recommend with caveats:

Love Class 2

The New Employee [for the Rainbow Rice Cakes]

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru

Never Let Me Go

Kiseki: Dear to Me

Unintentional Love Story

The Day I Loved You

End of the World with You

A Breeze of Love

Jack O'Frost

Bonus: Not a BL but worth calling out:

One Room Angel

Midnight Museum

Grand Guignol

The Warp Effect

Sadly, of the GLs that aired this year, I wouldn't recommend any of them. The best one was Show Me Love, which was not actually good but had very gorgeous women and a LOT of flirting.

The other huge thing that happened this year was that I stopped lurking! Thanks specifically to @lurkingshan and @bengiyo demanding everyone start talking about La Pluie, because they got me to post my first meta post. And because I started actually talking to people, I started making actual friends, and participated in organizing things like the Be My Favorite clown checkpoint for ep 11. I also disappeared a month because of life, and am still catching up on everything I intended to write this year. But it's been really rewarding finding this corner of tumblr with likeminded people who like good shows, like to think about these shows, and who are interested in talking about them in a way that's insightful and respectful.

It's been a long time since I felt comfortable enough participating actively in a fandom, and I just want to say to everyone I've interacted with this year: Thank you!

Full list under the cut for anyone curious! [Mostly in order it aired but may be slightly off].

Love Bill

Director Who Buys Me Dinner, The

Star Always Follow You, The

Cutie Pie 2 You

Between Us the Series (Hemp Rope)

Reason Why He Fell in Love with Me Special & S2 [international release]

New Employee, The

I Will Hit You/I Will Knock You

Individual Circumstances

609 Bedtime Story

GAPYuri / GAP the series

My School President

HitBiteLove the Series

Never Let Me Go

Moonlight Chicken

History 5: Love in the Future

Oh My God (ToDo) the Series

Warp Effect, The

End of the World, With You

My Blessing the Series

Our Winter (miniseries)

All the Liquors

Once in Memory: Let Me Be Yours

Shoulder to Cry On, A

Jack O'Frost

Our Dating Sim

Midnight Museum

Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend

My Colleague at BL Shop might be My Meant-to-Be

Unintentional Love Story

Chains of Heart

Bed Friend the series

Bad Brother the Series

Stormy Honeymoon

Eighth Sense, the

Bad Brother the Series

Future Series

Tin Tam Jai the series

Crush on You

House of Stars the Series

Happy Merry Ending

Boss and a Babe, A

Pastsenger the Series

Love Mate

Love Syndrome the Series

Promise the Series, The

Day I Loved You, The

Our Dining Table (Bokura no Shokutaku)

Our Skyy 2

My Story the Series

Starstruck

Love Tractor

Naked Dining

Luminous Solution, The

Omai Series / Is My Roommate A Foreigner

Stupid Genius

Step By Step

La Pluie the series

Tie the Not

Sing My Crush / Follow the Wind

Tokyo in April Is .../ Shigatsu no Tokyo wa

Senior Love Me?

Be My Favorite

Show Me Love

Dinosaur Love

Low Frequency

Stay Still

Stay By My Side

Jun & Jun

Wedding Plan the Series

Laws of Attraction, the

Love Class s2

Minato's Laundromat S2

Hidden Agenda

Bon Appetit

Why RU the Series [Korean adaptation]

Be Mine Superstar

Star, The Season 2

Love In Translation

My Beautiful Man: Eternal

My Personal Weatherman

Bump Up Business

Naughty Babe Series

Only Friends

Grand Guignol

Dangerous Romance

If It's With You / Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite Mo

Y Journey: Stay Like a Local

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Venus in the Sky

Kiseki: Dear to Me

I Cannot Reach You

You Are Mine

Breeze of Love / Weather Forecast of Love

Mr. Cinderella 2

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru

One Room Angel

Marry My Dead Body

Lucky My Love the Series

Pure Vanilla: Recipe for Romance

Absolute Zero

Memories, The

My Dear Gangster Oppa

Shadow

What Did You Eat Yesterday? S2

Middleman Love

Beyond the Star

Bake Me Please

You and My Stars

I Became the Lead in a BL Drama

[lightninginapuddle]

Blackbeard's musical theme S1 vs S2 observations

I've been rewatching the show recently to find the scenes where Blackbeard's Theme is used, and here are some observations I can share with those interested. I'm not going to get technical or anything, just pinpoint some things I found interesting in the use of that theme in the context of the show, the characters, and the scenes it appears in.

Just so you have it in your ears, this is Blackbeard’s Theme. When I searched for scenes, I was looking for a specific leitmotif that derives from the very beginning of that linked song: the 3 held, rumbly, low notes (E, G and D#/Eb in that order), or a variation of that pattern. In the show, this main theme is often followed by strings playing a high-pitched sustained harmony with fast repeated notes (that or maybe these are long slow strokes with lots of vibrato, you tell me, I don't play a string instrument).

The theme is meant to be menacing.

My observations under the cut, sorry it's a little messy!

- Season 1: the theme is introduced by Izzy in A Damned Man and last heard in a scene with Ed in Wherever You Go, There You Are. The theme is never played for anyone else but them throughout season 1.

- Season 2: the theme is reintroduced by Ed at the wedding in Impossible Birds, and we last hear it at the beginning of Izzy’s death scene in Mermen.

- Contrary to season 1, the theme also appears with the crew when they are fighting with each other in Fun and Games, and with Lucius when he's alone and holding the wooden shark in The Curse of the Seafaring Life. The theme we hear in the scene with the crew is a variation from the original theme.

Some analysis could be drawn from this, such as Blackbeard's poison leaking out of Izzy and Ed and contaminating the crew and reflecting in the way their trauma is portrayed on screen. The theme being heard with lucius is particularly interesting to me, though I'm still trying to form my analysis of this. Maybe because the shark is a physical embodiment of Blackbeard to Izzy? And thus the essence of Blackbeard is transferred to that wooden shark? Who knows, your guess is as good as mine.

- Season 1: the theme is in 21 scenes in 5 episodes only (2,3,4,6 and 10). I’d argue that Izzy is the driving force of the theme in at least half of these scenes (12/21 vs Ed 9/21) as he carries the threatening essence of the theme.

- More than half of those appearances are in only 2 episodes: The Art of Fuckery (7 scenes) and Discomfort in a Married State (5 scenes), but never less than 3 scenes per episode for the other episodes.

- Season 1: we don't hear the theme in The Best Revenge is Dressing Well, This is Happening, We Gull Way Back and Act of Grace. It's interesting to note that, apart from Act of Grace, Izzy and Ed don't interact at all in those episodes.

- Season 2: 14 scenes in 6 episodes (1,2,3,4,5,8). The theme centers a lot more around Ed. At first because he's lost in the persona of Blackbeard and carries the threatening essence of the theme, and then because his fractured vision of himself is mending back with the Kraken and Ed to become one by the end of the season.

- 11 of those scenes are in 3 episodes: Impossible Birds and Mermen (4 scenes each) and Fun and Games (3 scenes). We hear the theme in only one scene for the other three episodes.

- Season 2: similarly, we don't hear the theme at all in Calypso's Birthday and Man on Fire. Maybe signifying the healing amongst everyone involved with Blackbeard? Ed is turning poison into positivity and the crew is healing and embracing him back, and similarly Izzy is embracing his own self-discovery rather than focusing on Blackbeard. In Man on Fire, Blackbeard seems to have become something of the past, especially symbolised with Ed throwing his leathers in the ocean.

- Season 1: the theme is recognizable from one scene to the other, sometimes changing the melody of the motif a little bit, sometimes it’s instrumentalized a little differently (a piano instead of a cello for example), sometimes the motif is only one or two notes, but it mostly stays the same throughout the season.

- The only two times I can think of when the theme is the most “different” is in 1) The Art of Fuckery, when Ed is doing a fuckery with fireworks and descending from the sky with a harness. There, the theme mirrors the theatricality of the scene; 2) the very last time we hear the theme in Wherever You Go, There You Are, when Ed keeps Jim and Frenchie on his crew. The theme is sped up, more colorful and rhythmically more dynamic. To me, it symbolises the change in Blackbeard's persona as someone a lot less stable and more dangerous.

- Season 2: still mostly the same theme but it shapeshifts a lot more. The range gets broader, getting more and more high pitched, to the point of being shrill at times, which contrasts a lot with the low, rumbling sound of the cello we're so used to hearing, the main melody has more variations (with the crew in Fun and Games, with Izzy in Fun and Games and Mermen) and it even appears very distorted when Buttons is talking to a bound Ed in Fun and Games. Interestingly, the theme appears in more distinctly different variations in Fun and Games than any other episode, when every one is dealing with the brunt of their trauma.

- Season 2: when Ed is pointing his gun at the crew then at himself in Impossible Birds, the theme is the most shrill we've ever heard as the tension rises, with the same sustained harmony from the original motif played at a very high pitch and doesn't cease to be played until Izzy yells and the music completely stops. It picks back up once Ed shoots him, and the lower range of the theme emerges as well with the shrill harmony.

- Season 2: When we hear the theme with Ed by himself in Mermen, it's never heard on its own anymore. We hear it partnered with the Kraken theme and/or Gnossienne n°5. BUT the theme is pretty much in its original form and at that point in the season, we haven't heard it like that since Impossible Birds (if I'm not mistaken).

- Season 1: This happens only once, where the echo of Blackbeard's theme quickly morphs into Gnossienne when Stede realizes that maybe Ed does fancy a fine fabric in Discomfort In A Married State. (And no, I’m not taking the Kraken Theme followed by Gnossienne in The Art of Fuckery into account, as I’m only focusing on Blackbeard’s Theme here).

- Season 2: Let me also point out that we don't hear the theme with Ed after his discussion with Buttons in Fun and Games, and it's so fractured and distorted that it's hard to recognize at all. We hear it with the crew, Izzy and Lucius but not Ed until Mermen. And it comes back in Mermen following Pop Pop telling Ed to go back to what he is good at. This time however, what he's good at is not only being Blackbeard but channeling all the parts of himself to protect others.

- Also, as mentioned before, Izzy has a strong connection to the theme in season 1 but not nearly as much in season 2, if at all. The theme really is his in 2, arguably 3, scenes even though he is present in more than those two scenes (6/14). Now this is my interpretation, you're free to make your own, but I tend to analyze this as him losing control over Blackbeard, especially at the beginning of the season where we can see how he doesn’t know how to stop the spiral Ed is in. Izzy wanted Blackbeard and not Edward but it resulted in him having neither. And the disappearance of the theme with Izzy also symbolises that, Blackbeard doesn’t belong to him anymore. It's even more clear when we consider how Izzy was a driving force to the theme in season 1 or at least Ed and Izzy shared the theme somewhat equally -though in Izzy's favor (12 for Izzy, 9 for Ed)-, yet in season 2, 9 scenes out of 14 are all Ed compared to Izzy's 2/3.

- When the theme is heard with him again, Izzy is at his lowest point mentally. He's lost his leg and throws the unicorns ones to the feet of the crew before falling down and crawling away while the crew watches him move away with concern and pity. I personally think the theme coming back in that moment is some sort of reckoning for Izzy, and the theme is a variation of the original one too. Izzy fully faces what pushing for Blackbeard to keep existing cost him and he's having a hard time coping with it.

- The last two times we hear the theme with him after that, are: when he talks to Ricky, and the theme turns almost positive, hopeful even, maybe Izzy is allowing Blackbeard to be something positive instead of negative, paralleling Ed doing the same as he embraces all the parts of himself? Then, as a last echo, the final nail in the coffin so to speak, the theme shows up at the very beginning of Izzy's death scene. Here, the theme is higher pitched than the original version of it, and feels tight, strained and weak, almost paralleling Izzy holding onto life.

Feel free to draw your own conclusions if you even read all of that. That was a lot of rambles, sorry!