#(ouch j.j)

[mtgc858]

Question

How would trollge files characters react from stubbing their toe? (bonus trollge raven if you want)

Lol! Oh boy

Smiler: *Loud cussing*

Stairway: SON OF A- AHHHHH *going insane*

J.J: *His clown shoes protect him but make clown sounds lmao*

Jenkins: Ouch- oh dear

Trollge Gf: AH-

Legion: *doesn't even have toes or feet*.....Okay and?

TrallFace: *Cry's*

(Bonus)

Raven: *Would yelp and probably cry*

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Agent Zero —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: I think it’s safe to say Pete is not Cat’s endgame but he’ll always have a special place in the story and in my heart -Danny

Words: 2,924

Phase Four Masterlist

Previous chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Lovesick’ -by Maude Latour

xxxiii: Vindication

Cat waited on top of the statue's head for Peter, he'd gone away to call J.J. Jameson and attract the bad guys. In the meantime, she quietly admired the city, imagining a life where she was just another New Yorker whose only worry was to make it till the end of the month.

Peter landed next to her, he talked to the others to prove the efficiency of their coms. "Okay, guys, it could be any minute now!"

"Yup! Almost done!"

"You're doing a great job down there, Parker!" Cat encouraged.

"Thanks, Jane!"

Peter frowned. "Did he just call you Jane?"

Cat shrugged. "A joke. I like that name, though. It's simple and common, it needs no explanation. I mean, I don't call him Peter so I guess it's only fair he calls me something else too."

Peter looked at her intently. "Is it always going to be you?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I've met many heroes but you're the one that stuck around," he explained. "Do you think one day it'll be me the one rushing to save you, or maybe one day you'll change me for, I don't know..."

"Daredevil?" She suggested.

"Sure," he chuckled. "I heard you don't exist in the other universes... why is it that we're close in this one?"

"Maybe there is a Cat in their world, but mutants don't exist, so this one grows away from New York. Maybe my father never existed in their world because there are no aliens, so I was never born..."

"Maybe there is a universe where I don't exist, and you're out there fighting crime, being the greatest Avenger in history..."

"You think you were the reason I turned out like this?" She inquired.

"I damaged you, C, you can't deny that."

"And I hurt you, but who's keeping count, right?"

He sighed. "Maybe you didn't do it all the time, but perhaps when you're mad at me, or when I wasn't alive... you didn't think your life would've been better without me in it?"

Cat looked up at the night sky, still able to recall the colorful scenery from when she was a guardian. "Maybe, but I got over it quickly. What about you?"

Peter shook his head. "Definitely thought it more than once."

"Ouch..."

"Not that I don't like you! I mean, you know I love you, Cat—"

"And I love you, buddy."

"But sometimes it was exhausting... I would think about us for hours..."

"I had those nights too," she supported her chin in one hand. "Right person, wrong time, huh?" She frowned. "Well, no. For you, it was 'first-love-isn't-the-love-of-your-life', which happens to everyone in this world, so I don't pity you at all."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Way to ruin it."

She laughed. "I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong—"

"You know I can't."

"And why is that?"

"Because you're a pain in the ass," he elbowed her.

Cat put an arm around his shoulders and took a deep breath, inhaling the faint scent of the evening. "Ah, man, I know it's stupid considering what you've been through tonight, but I'm really sad about my blaster..."

"The one the Goblin ruined?" She nodded. "Did Tony make it for you?"

"Rocket gave it to me," she pouted. "After Nightcrawler and I decided to stay on earth. He said I was a sharpshooter."

"He's right."

"But now I have nothing. Like, I obviously can still remember Rocket, my memory is doing well, but..."

"Something to hold onto when they're far from reach," he finished. "I get it."

"Nightcrawler has his scarf," she mentioned. "I'll steal it on my next visit."

"Can I visit him too?" Peter inquired. "We got along at the party and he knows so much about you, so I'd like to get to know him better. Is that okay with you?"

"If you think I'm a pain in the ass, Kurt is a hemorrhoid," she responded humorously.

"Which explains why you're best friends."

Cat moved away and patted his arm. "I'll take you with me next time I pay him a visit. That okay?"

"Awesome," he smiled.

A few feet below, they heard Parker's voice. "So you, like, make your own web fluid in your body?"

Cat looked at Peter and both snorted, they struggled to drown the noise.

"I'd rather not talk about this."

"No, I don't mean to—"

"Are you teasing me?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no. He's not teasing you— shut up!" Peter nudged her ribs. "It's just that we can't do that, so naturally we're curious as to how your web situation works. That's all."

"If it's personal, I don't wanna pry. I just think it's cool..." Parker added.

"No. I wish I could tell you, but it's like, I don't do it... Like I don't— Like, I don't do breathing. Like, breathing just happens."

"Whoa... Like, does it just come out of your wrists, or... does it come out off anywhere else?" Peter glared at Cat, she was struggling to hide her giggles.

"Only... only the wrists."

"You never had to web block?" Parker continued. "Cause I run out of webs all the time. I had to make my own lab. And it's a hassle..."

"That sounds like a hassle, yeah. But I did, actually, as you said that I was like, oh... I had a web block!"

"Why?"

"Existential crisis stuff."

"Pfft— Yeah, don't get me started on that!"

"Hey, what are like, some of the craziest villains that you guys have fought?" Peter inquired.

"Seems you've met some of them." Mr. Parker chortled.

"That's a good question," Parker added in amusement.

"I fought a... an alien... made out of black goo once."

"No way! C.C. and I fought an alien, too! On Earth and in space!"

"Oh."

"Yeah, he was purple!"

"I worked in space as a guardian of the Galaxy for three years," Cat smiled. "I had a blast, to be honest."

"I wanna fight an alien..." Parker sighed.

"I'm half-alien, so you're welcome," The mutant grinned.

"What! I thought you were a mutant!"

"Wait— I'm, I'm still like... that you fought an alien in space. And you're half-alien, C?"

Parker scoffed. "I'm lame. Like, I fought a Russian guy in a, like, a rhinoceros machine..?"

"Oh, we fought a guy in a Vulture suit once!"

"Hey, can we rewind it back to the 'I'm lame' part? 'Cause, you're not."

"Aw, thanks. No, yeah. I appreciate it, I'm not saying 'I'm lame'—"

"But it's just the self-talk maybe we should, you know... cause listen, please, You're—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"You're amazing. Just to take it in for a minute. You— You are amazing. You are amazing."

"Thank you."

"Will you say it?"

"No, I kinda needed to hear that. Thank you."

"Mr. Parker, sir, you are my favorite Spidey," Cat grinned.

"Hey!" The other Peters piped up, a clear pout in their responses.

Peter tensed beside her, he lifted himself a little. "Alright guys, focus up. Can you feel that?"

"...yeah..."

Lightning and thunder were surrounding the statue, it was easy to guess what was about to happen.

"What's up, Peter?" Max exclaimed. "How do you like the new-new? Look, you give it to me," he pointed at the box. "I'm gonna destroy it, but I'll let you live... Don't make me a murderer."

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing," she put on her blue goggles. "You wanna know the difference, though? If you make me one, I won't feel bad about it."

"Okay, guys, here he comes," Peter shouted at the others.

Cat copied Mr. Parker's ability to produce webs. "Let's go, sparky!" She swung between Max and Peter, then Parker jumped between her and Dillon.

"Hey, Max! I missed you, man!"

Dr. Connors arrived from the base of the statue. Midway down she teleported and landed next to the lizard. "Evening, good sir!" She mocked his accent. "Why don't we sit and talk for a bit, yeah? Let's go over the things that upset you—"

Dr. Connors jumped at her but Mr. Parker stopped him, the lizard held onto his ankle and went away flying.

"I need Max's cure!" Parker demanded.

"Yeah. I'm on it!"

"Peter! I need the Lizard cure!"

"Okay! Okay!"

Cat saw the portal to the school was still open, she landed in front of the teens and they jumped away screaming. "Why are you still here?!"

"Ned is trying!"

"Try harder!"

"Miss cat!" Max shouted. "Get out of the way!"

Cat turned around with a death glare. "Is Madame, to you."

She threw herself at the guy and turned into sand, pulling him away from the portal. Max tried to escape but she wasn't easy to get away from. When he took a moment to regain strength, she turned back into a person and kicked him. Cat noticed there was no spider-men near.

"Where the hell is everybody?" She teleported to the sound, the three Peters were discussing a new plan and she arrived to hear their newly assigned codenames.

"Peter One! Peter Two—"

"Peter Two!"

"Peter Three!"

Parker waved his hands in the air. "Peter Three!"

"All right, let's do this!"

"No, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Parker stopped them. "I love you guys."

"...thank you." The others replied flustered.

Cat patted the young man's shoulder, joining the circle. "Lovely scene, but I almost got killed by the shooting star a few floors up and I'd appreciate it if you help me out."

"All right," Peter chuckled. "Let's do this!"

Cat heard their joyful exclamations while she shot her webs and pulled herself up, the young woman arrived at the top a little earlier than the others, but they landed neatly on the statue's head in front of her. They were facing the sandman, sparkles, and nightmare barney.

"We're two bad guys short," she pointed out.

"We'll worry about them later," Peter replied. When they jumped to attack the men in front of them, he dived down. "Okay, Spider-Mans, Sandman first! Copy you gather the others!"

"Gladly!"

"I'm gonna lead Marko inside the statue!" Mr. Parker shouted.

"I'll meet you at the top!"

Copycat saw Parker getting chased by the lizard, he'd managed to pin the young hero down.

"Hey, Dr. Connors," he greeted casually.

"Hello, Peter," he replied, very close to his face.

"You're right, Parker, he's really nice... to you!" Cat exclaimed.

"Peter One!"

Parker threw the anti-collider at Peter as he swung past them. Max shocked him and Peter dropped the cure a few feet below. Cat's suit put itself away in her watch and she turned into a copy of the lizard. Keeping her mask so Parker could tell them apart, she jumped on top of the creature and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Get the cure!" She demanded.

"That is so crazy, even your voice sounds like his!" Parker gasped.

She kicked the lizard to the opposite side of the corridor and turned back to her original form, the suit enveloped her body again as she teleported to Parker's side. "Give it to me!" Parker did and she went back to the top of the tower, throwing the anti-collider through the statue's crown. "Delivery for Mr. Parker!"

Cat didn't wait to see if he'd gotten the cure, Parker was getting attacked a second time by Dr. Connors. She teleported to the lizard's back and seized her taser, she pressed it against the creature's neck knowing it wouldn't do much, but all she wanted was to distract him so Parker could slip away.

"Just... wait... for your... turn... Doc!" He webbed Connors so he couldn't move. Cat jumped off. "We'll be right back!" He grabbed her hand, teleporting back to the top of the statue. "You get used to it after a while!"

Mr. Parker got out of the crown and Parker helped him up.

"How's Flint?" Cat inquired.

"Cured," Mr. Parker nodded. "Three to go."

"Two," she corrected. "And let's hope the other shows up in time."

Max and Peter got to them, the boy stood in front of her to protect her.

"How do we stop him?"

"I've never seen him this powerful," Parker pointed out.

"It's the arc reactor, we gotta get it off him."

"You'll never take this away from me!"

Cat seized her spear. "We'll see about that."

Peter tried to pull the reactor with his web, but it wasn't strong enough. They all moved before he could hurt them, Cat dived a few corridors below the spiders and waited to see what they'd do next.

"Okay, we've gotta do this up close. Peter Two, go right, Peter Three, go left. On me." Peter one decided.

Cat prepared to copy the sandman's powers, but nothing happened. "What?" She tried one more time. "Guys! I can't copy Marko!"

"I cured Marko!" Mr. Parker reminded her.

It hit her. "Ah, shit— I can't copy powers he longer has..."

"Exactly!" Peter two gasped, it sounded like he was being choked.

"Well, I can't use Dillon's powers!"

"That worked the last time I fought him!" Parker said also in a strangled voice. "I honestly wouldn't hate it if you tried!"

"He has the arc reactor, that thing absorbs energy like a black hole!" She said in frustration. "Peter, where are you?"

"Dr. Connors is trying to kill MJ and Ned!" He panted. "The portal is still open!"

"Cat!" Parker urged her.

She teleported to his side the moment he dropped the drainer. Mr. Parker tried to catch it but when he launched forward a tentacle trapped him in midair. Cat seized it and rolled across the corridor. Above her, she heard Dr. Otto's voice:

"Leave them. They're mine."

"I don't need your help. I got it just fine..."

"Dr. Octavius... No..." Mr. Parker choked out.

One of the tentacles appeared to act on its own and clutched to Max's chest. He'd distracted Dillon and, copying Mr. Parker's abilities, she shot a web to the gigantic shield behind Doc Oc.

"Think fast, Otto!" She shouted upon arrival, throwing the drainer in his direction.

Cat shrank her spear but pressed a button to keep one of the blades out, and without hesitation, she stabbed Dillon above the place where Otto's claw was.

"No!" Parker yelled.

However, the blade didn't go through the body, just between his chest and the arc reactor. She had a sharp aim, after all. Cat unstuck the reactor and held it. "Better luck next time, sparkles."

Otto stuck the drainer where a second before the power source had been, she landed on the statue's head.

"What are you doing?! Get it off me!"

Cat tried to copy his powers, but all she could summon was a few sparks. "It's working!"

"Good job," Parker said. "For a moment there I thought you'd gotten tired of playing nice..."

"I know better than to misbehave when there's three of you."

Otto placed Max down, Parker went down to aid him. Cat and Mr. Parker moved over to the scaffolding at the top, where Otto asked her if he could hold the reactor for a moment. Cat handed it to him and he stared at it in awe.

"The power of the sun..."

"...in the palm of your hand." Mr. Parker finished.

Otto seemed to recognize the voice, he looked at the man. "Peter?

Mr. Parker pulled off his mask and smiled. "Otto."

"Oh!" He chuckled. "It's good to see you, dear boy."

"It's good to see you," judging by how he'd said it, Dr. Otto hadn't survived their last encounter.

"You're all grown up!" He chortled. "How are you?"

Mr. Parker tilted his head. "Trying to do better."

Cat watched the scene with a soft smile, it was nice to see Peter get a bit of closure. Without a warning, a new portal opened in front of her, and she jumped away swearing loudly. Peter landed next to her and stepped forward.

"Strange, wait, we're so close—!"

"Skip it! I've been dangling over the Grand Canyon for twelve hours!"

"I know, I know, I, uh, um, uh..."

"I'm just sorry I missed it," she replied.

"Cat!" Behind them, the other Peters huddle up. "I-I'm sorry about that, sir, I mean—"

"You went to the Grand Canyon?"

"He could've used your help!"

Strange stared at the spider-men in a mix of confusion and annoyance, Peter raised his voice to calm them down.

"No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay! Uh, these... these are my new friends. This is Peter Parker, this is Peter Parker— Spider-Man, Spider-Man, they're me's from other universes, they're here to help."

"No, no..." Strange began with frustration.

"This is the wizard I was telling you about," Peter informed the others.

"Look, I am really impressed that you've managed to give them all a second chance, kid. But this has to end now—"

"CAN THE SPIDER-MAN COME OUT TO PLAY?" The Goblin snatched the magic box away from Strange's grip.

Otto caught the glider before it could leave, but Norman cut the tentacle. Strange shot a magic rope and pulled, getting the box back. The moment he held it everyone stopped breathing, the three spiders tensed, and Peter shouted a warning.

"STRANGE, NO!"

The explosion not only sent all of them flying but also triggered the faulty spell. The half-done shield fell off the statue and broke most of the structure around it. Cat heard MJ's screaming, Peter threw himself to get her but Norman dragged him away. Parker jumped right after. He caught the girl on time.

Cat saw Peter land on top of the battered shield after he made the glider explode, he was (mostly) intact. She grabbed her grappling hook and then jumped, making her way down and landing a few feet behind Parker and MJ.

"Cat!" The young girl was shaking.

"Where's Ned?"

"Strange's cape picked him up, I don't know where it left him..."

Parker was shaking and still had MJ in his arms, Cat approached him carefully. "Hey, Big-bug? Let her go..." he stayed still for a moment, his breathing was unsteady. "Peter..?"

The young man took an abrupt breath and shook his head lightly. He placed MJ on the ground and hastily dried his tears. MJ looked at Cat without knowing what to do.

"Go look for Ned," MJ didn't need to be told twice. Copycat examined the young man. "Look at me," she cupped his face. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," he sniffed.

"No..." she gave him a small, understanding smile. "But you're close."

The sky cracked above them, thin purple lines spread across like veins.

"This isn't over," Parker muttered.

Next Chapter—>

Taglist.

@mikaelsonwhxrebae​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @ieatpanicattacksforlunch​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @jesuswasnotawhiteman​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @siriuslysirius1107​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @greengarsstuff​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @itsyagirl01​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @23victoria​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @espressopatronum454​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @jkthinkstoomuch

[theautumnenthusiast]

I don't know if these requests also include Sunny and Jeannette, so feel free to just write to Yui if you want.

❄️ Skating over frozen lakes for Sunny and Yui.

"You've been kind of mopey lately."

Yui tilted her head back and to the side. Given the state of her hair, Sunny must have just woken up. She was chewing on a cookie and getting crumbs all down her shirt.

"Oh, I don't know about that."

"You are! I can totally tell." She took a huge bite out of her cookie and kept talking through one hand. "I mean, I do get it."

Yui pressed her lips together and stared out the window so she wouldn't have to look at Sunny. She'd always been told that she was an open book, but that had never really bothered her until everything had fallen to pieces. "I think I just miss the daytime. Sounds ridiculous, but there's so little of it this time of year that I don't really get to see it."

"I haven't seen the sun in a while, yeah."

"I kind of miss gardening with Yuma."

"Okay, do not go there. That's too depressing. There are plenty of other things you can do in the winter! Snowball fights, building snowmen and snow forts, hot cocoa afterwards, all that good stuff."

Yui stared at her. While Sunny was right, those activities all required coats. Which they did not have.

The silence didn't stop her. Bless her, it never did. "One time, J.J. and I snuck out and hiked to Lough Eske late at night to get a good view at the Alpha Centaurids. Did not go well -- foot through the ice, two mile hike back trying not to get frostbite, grounded for a month, whatever -- but hey, the walk out there was nice. There's... there's a certain kind of quiet that you only really get in the dead of winter, when the snow crunches under your feet, you know?"

"Well... not really? I'm from the south, and we never got much snow there. Certainly not what you just described."

"Oh! Oh, right, I forgot about that." Sunny's brow furrowed as she pushed a fist in front of her mouth, deep in thought. "Well, we're gonna have to change that. When we get coats."

Dangerous territory. "Um--"

"I mean, obviously not the falling through the ice stuff! God, no. But I'm definitely going to have to get you on top of the ice at some point. Find a frozen lake at night, walk around, look up at the sky. Once we get coats, once we... erm... well, that's something to add to the list, right?"

Right, the list. The one they spoke of in hushed tones when they were certain no one was around. The list that they never wrote down but both still knew by heart. Internally, Yui filed frozen lakes right under eating so much fish and chips at the grease trap by the bay that you can physically feel your arteries closing, as Sunny had put it once. And she did so happily.

"Should I trust you to know what ice is safe to walk on?" she asked, teasing.

Sunny puffed out her cheeks. "Well, probably not, no, but ouch!"

Yui laughed. "Jeannette, then."

"Hey, which one of us do you think fell through the ice?!"

Neither of them could keep the grins off their faces. Yui glanced back at the window to look at the quarter-sized snowflakes that were falling outside. Snow was another obstacle, of course, but maybe someday it wouldn't be.

Maybe someday, she and Sunny could have their frozen lake.

[swiss-cheeze]

Tick-Tock, Hook’s Afraid of an Ordinary Clock! || Spencer Reid

Requested: YES/NO: gender neutral please! So my request. Y/n has been working at the BAU for a while, and never ever had feelings for Spencer but more for Derek. One night is spent at a hotel and Spencer gets wasted as all hell which the team found unusual. That’s really all! Do with that what you will! Smut is fine too! You can add your own personal touches if you wish. Also would love some fighting between Spencer and y/n

Gender: none, they/them.

Warnings: insults, alcohol, normal CM case talk, verbal fight dialogue taken from Hook (1991), crap music talk.

----

“Eat your heart out, you crinkled, wrinkled fat bag,” you mumbled under your breath as Spencer finished his rambling of some unknown subject. Spencer stiffened at your insult, as did the rest of the team. You had just gotten back from a pretty bad case involving a team of family annihilators and where sitting in the nearest bar; throughout the whole case Spencer had almost made it his mission to speak over you, correct you, flick things at you, ‘forget’ you’re there, bump into you and more. God it was so annoying, and now? Now you've had enough.

“That was very ill-mannered-” Spencer started.

“And you're a slug-eating worm,” you said with a little more force matter-of-factly, cutting off whatever it was Spencer was going to say.

“You can do better than that pretty boy!” Derek said quickly with a grin as he nudged Spencer; you almost pounced on that man for taking Spencer's side rather than yours; Derek had always taken your side.

“You're encouraging this?” Spencer questioned quickly.

“Show me your fastball, dust brain!” you started again, “you paunchy, sag-bottomed puke pot!” Spencer's eyes widened three times the size they normally would be as the rest of your table sat quiet and watched.

“Damn!” Emily said under her breath with a grin as her eyes darted between the two of you; it was like watching tennis.

“You're a very poor role model for your team, you know that right?” Spencer shook his as he took a mouthful of his drink before a sly grin overtook his face, “I bet you don't even have a fourth-grade reading level,” a few of your teammates let out a little blow of air.

“Hemorrhoidal sucknavel” you said quickly.

“Maybe a fifth-grade reading level.” Spencer said even quicker.

“Oil-dripping, beef-fart-sniffing bubble butt” you started to really get into it, leaning over the table a little with a smirk.

“Aye there we go (Y/n)!” Derek said quickly, now he was on your side? You looked to Hotch who was smiling thinking that maybe you had another on your side.

“Someone has a severe caca mouth, you know that?” Spencer cut off your gaze with his words, as if he was bored.

“You’re a fart factory. A slug-slime sack of rat guts and cat vomit, a cheesy scab picked pimple-squeezing finger bandage!” snickering came over the table; but you weren't done yet oh no, “a week-old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!” you grinned; many many words in that one insult. Spencer went to open his mouth but you cut him off, “you’re really just a substitute chemistry teacher” you winked.

“Come on Spence, hit (Y/n) back!” J.J. quickly intervened.

“Mung tongue” Spencer fired.

“Math tutor,”

“Pinhead,”

“Mother lover,” that one was a low blow on your end but you couldn't help yourself.

“Nearsighted gynecologist,” ouch Spence, Hotch snorted at that one.

“In your face, camelcake!” you shot back.

“In your rear, cow derrière!” of course Spencer came back even faster.

“Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig!” Emily snickered at yours.

“Lewd, crude bag of pre-chewed food!” Derek snickered at Spencers.

“Guys maybe settle down…” Hotch said softly, this was starting to get a little out of hand.

“You man! Stupid, stupid man!” That was all you could give back as your mind turned blank, forgetting every word in the dictionary.

“If I'm a maggot burger, why don't you just eat me?” Spencer shot back, “you zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farming, paramecium brain, munching on your own mucus, suffering from Spencer Reid envy!” laughter ensued as your face contorted to confusion.

“What the hell is a ‘paramecium’?” your voice held the question as Spencer pointed to you.

“I'll tell you what a paramecium is! You’re a paramecium!” everyone on your table stared at Spencer as he elaborated; “It's a one-celled critter with no brain that can't think!” and with that, your table cheered for Spencer as you sat sulking.

“Oh come on (Y/n), you should have known you would lose,” Derek said with a grin before following Spencer to the bar.

“He's drinking a lot tonight isn't he?” Emily questioned.

“Who, Derek?” J.J. guessed with a furrowed brow.

“No! Spencer!” Emily quickly concluded.

“He was a little harsh on (Y/n)” Hotch cut in quickly, “I’m just glad Dave and Garcia weren’t here to witness that,” you slammed your drink on the table and sent a glare to the three left at the table.

“I'm going home, i'll see everyone on monday,” you grumbled out before stalking off, your shoes made loud thunking sounds as they hit the wood flooring, your anger getting the best of you as you passed Spencer and Derek.

“Yo (Y/n) you getting a drink too?” Derek was about to order your normal drink until you slapped both Spencer and Derek on the back of the head.

“OW! What the hell-!” Spencer's back was to you but as he turned and saw you his anger melted into elation, “come back for round 2 (Y/n)?” Spencer questioned, the poor boy tried to act cool and lean against the bar but missed entirely and almost fell onto a rather burly looking gentleman. You huffed slightly as you turned to Derek.

“Make sure the substitute chem teacher gets home safe,” and with that you threw open the bar doors and walked your way home, it was only a block and you had gotten a ride with Emily anyway.

-

When you finally slumped home, chucked off your shoes and threw yourself onto your mattress you couldn't help but make yourself angrier with the new insults suddenly bubbling in your head.

“Who does that piss brain even think he is,” you mumbled into the air, “paramecium my ass…” you continued your grumbling into the atmosphere as you twisted and turned on the mattress before sleep finally engulfed you.

------

The work week started up again and before you knew it yourself and the team where needed in New Orleans because of a new range of sudden murders.

“Lets review please,” Hotch mumbled.

“The bodies cross gender and racial lines” Rossi started.

“The throat is slit with something very sharp but also clean, I get a funny feeling it isnt a kitchen knife though,” you mumbled as you looked at the photos closer trying to get a good angle on a printed piece of paper.

“Butcher?” Derek questioned, you shrugged.

“Could these be blitz attacks?” you heard Spencer scoff at your suggestion.

“If this was a blitz attack there would be remorse and blunt force trauma somewhere on the head,” Spencer said looking directly at you.

“Oh, i'm so sorry Doctor i didn't know my input was unwanted, let me just keep my thoughts to myself,”

“Guys,” J.J. sighed, “Garcia is going through the victims lives that we have already, I can talk to the family and see if there are any enemies?” Hotch nodded.

“Derek, I want you to join J.J. with the families. Rossi, Emily go to the M.E. together and have a look over the bodies and tox screens. (L/n), Reid and I will go to the police station and start on a geographical and victim board,” everyone nodded in agreement to what Hotch said. Except for Spencer. He just stared at you with dangerous eyes. You rolled yours in return before putting your headphones into your phone and playing music to drown out Spencer's overbearingly loud thoughts.

-

“Okay my lovelies, these first three victims all had the same job at the same court; they’re all a part of a Jury audience” Garcia explained as her fingers tapped on her keyboard through the phone.

“Maybe someone just got out of prison that was wrongly convicted and wanting revenge?” you questioned.

“Maybe, it would have to be something pretty big for them to come back,” Derek said, you nodded in agreement, “baby girl can you see if there are any people that may have been convicted by a jury with our victims in it?”

“Sure can sugar, PG out” the phone clicked off.

“Did you find anything from the M.E.?” Hotch turned to Rossi and Emily as he spoke.

“The pathologist said it was a clean cut without hesitation marks or remorse,” Rossi said.

“No drugs, no blunt force trauma,” Emily shrugged as she talked, “it wasn't a blitz.”

“Maybe planned?” you butted in.

“That’s what it seems like,” Hotch said, “Reid? Have you got anything? J.J.?” Hotch questioned as he looked to the respective people.

“The victims were killed in different areas but its places they frequented; house, bar, bar” Spencer started, “they’re all over the place is all, completely different areas,”

“Yeah, and the families weren’t much help either. One of the victims' families, uh, Emil Gosten? His family said they didn't want anything to do with the investigation because he's had previous death threats and calls and stuff,” J.J. shrugged as the room went quiet.

“Reid, (L/n) I know you two dont like each other but I need two of my sharpest minds to go back to the crime scenes,” Hotch sighed, you groaned but complied as you stalked off with Reid following shortly behind.

-

“Everything looks the exact same as it was left,” you sighed out as you placed a blanket back down on the couch. Spencer scanned the books on the shelf before pulling one out and starting to read it; completely ignoring you.

“Reid,” nothing.

“Reid.” again, nothing.

“Spencer,” nope.

“SPENCE”

“What!” he finally turned to you and answered.

“You couldn't give me some complacency and at least answer me when i talk to you?” you asked annoyed.

“Why would i?” Spencer asked with a bored tone as he placed the book back on the shelf, except he finally talked to you, “The victim is atheist, believes in the justice system…” he sighed and shrugged, “did Hotch just put us together to fuck with us?”

“Maybe,” you flopped onto the couch with a sigh as you rest your head on the backrest. That was until something caught your eye, “Oi genius!” you called out, Spencer came to your side as you pointed to the roof; there, above your heads was a piece of paper taped to the ceiling, “you’re taller than me,” you said quickly as you got up and started moving the couch.

“Woah what- what’re you doing?” Spencer jumped back slightly as you pushed the couch backwards.

“Well we’re going to push this back and then put a chair down for you to stand on so you can reach that note because it can possibly help us get to the unsub,”

“What why me?” Spencer questioned as he helped you push the couch back.

“You’re taller than me and have longer arms,” you walked over to the dining table and came back with a chair, Spencer was reluctant at first but eventually stood on the chair and plucked down the taped note; letting out a breath as he finally stood on the ground again. You plucked the note from Spencer's hand and opened it.

“A music note?” Spencer mumbled.

“Something like that,” you mumbled back, “see it's in the second to bottom gap,” you pointed to the gap to show where it was, as if Spencer couldn't see it already, “um, it would sound something like...um, dmm” you vibrate your voice a little to help Spencer understand, he nodded, “the only problem is there isn’t any clef; normally with music you have a treble clef, alto clef or bass clef. They basically determine what instrument can be played and how the notes are determined” Spencer looked genuinely interested while you explained your thinking, “this...its a singular note, maybe there’s more around?” you looked around the room and tried to desifre if there were any opened drawers or cupboards.

“Maybe there’s another one at the other location?” Spencer questioned, you grinned.

“It might be the unsubs calling card; ‘hey, this is my kill’ type thing!” and with that, you made a break in the case.

-

Spencer called the rest of the team about the break as Hotch allowed the two of you to go to the other victims houses and search for more music notes; low and behold you now had 3 music notes placed under the corresponding victim heads.

“You keep staring at that board as if it's going to give you answers,” Derek said with a grin as he walked into the room; the rest of the team had been called out to another dead body.

“Hmm? Oh I just…” you shrugged, “i just get this feeling about the notes; they have to sound something but we just don't know what yet” before Derek could answer you the shrill of the phone went off.

“(Y/n)?” it was Spencer on loudspeaker; he never called you by your first name.

“Yeah what's up Reid?” you called back.

“We found another note; the round part is under the last line with the stem going up to the second line at the top,” you nodded in response (not that Spencer could see you) as you drew the note on a piece of paper with a sharpener and placed it on the victim board.

“Anything else? A clef at all anywhere?” you asked.

“Um i'm not- i don't think so?” it sounded like Spencer was shuffling around a few things to get a better look, “we have another piece of paper!” Spencer called out, moments later you got a photo on your phone. Sure enough there was a treble clef.

“Spence get everyone back here; i know what the notes mean”

-

“Our unsub is using something called the Dies Irae,” you played the first few notes on your phone over youtube, “you've all heard this song over time just not exactly in an orchestra setting; Star Wars, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd, The Shining, The Exorcist and many many more,” you played a few other videos of the notes from a few of the movies as everyone nodded.

“I can hear it,” J.J. mumbled.

“Same,” that was Emily.

“Right, so...it was originally used with catholic’s; they used the music in their Requiem services-”

“Requiem services are basically putting the dead to rest,” Spencer cut in quickly so the team could understand.

“Yeah, it's basically a song for the dead to stay dead in a way? I think our unsub is using the Sweeney Todd method; killing his victims with a razor. One slice across the neck while in a private area except this dude isn't a cannibal” you grinned at the remembrance of the film.

“Cannibal?” Derek and Emily questioned.

“In the movie Sweeney Todd is a barber, he comes back for revenge on the man who stole his wife and child and kills people in his barber shop which is also above a pie shop owned by a woman named Mrs Lovett; when Sweeney starts killing they come together in order to bring customers back to Mrs Lovett's pie shop. Because it's set in 1785 meat was expensive so instead they used the dead people as meat to sell to customers” you realised how long winded that explanation was and apologized, “sorry that was..i think our unsub is a barber” was your final statement. Hotch nodded and moved to press a button on the phone in the middle of the table, but the phone started ringing instead.

“Garcia?”

“I think i found our unsub; Chris Gevette, he filed for divorce after he gave evidence of spousal abuse but it seems like his wife had every piece of evidence that would be able to put him in jail rather than her so everything was blamed on him for the abuse and the jury ruled him unable to keep any stable relationship”

“Garcia do you have a work and home address?”

“Sent to your phones now; barber shop and home” the phone clicked off.

“(Y/n) i want you to go to the barber shop with Reid and Derek. Emily, J.J. and I will go to the house; Rossi stays here in case anything else happens.” and with that you all ran to the SUV’s.

-----

“CHRIS GEVETTE FBI!” Derek shouted through the door, your guns were drawn and ready for action as Derek kicked the door in. You moved swiftly through the shop, finding nothing but dust.

“Guys!” you were now out the back as your partners came running, “it's exactly like Sweeney Todd,” you motioned to the stairs in front of you before looking behind you, “there's stars that lead down as well; there may be bodies in there like the movie too, you go down there and i'll go up.”

“(Y/n) let me come with you,” that was Spencer, he looked genuinely concerned.

“I've got this Spence. Go” you started your ascent up the wooden stairs while trying to stay as quiet as you possibly could, “CHRIS GEVETTE,” you called out to the door once you got to it, you could hear the bustle of footsteps and made the split decision. The door was kicked in by you as you pointed your gun to Chris who was now holding a razor to a woman's neck.

“Get away!” Chris screamed, he was frantic; trembling and crying.

“Chris! Chris it's okay, i'm a good guy, okay?” you slowly let go of your gun, “im holstering my gun, okay?” you said as you're-holstered your gun, “Chris i know about the divorce-”

“No you dont!” Chris called, the woman under the razor trembled as the razor cut into her neck slightly.

“I do! Chris, I know you were abused! I know it wasn't you that did the abusing! If you let her go we can help you get custody and instead send that bitch to jail,” Chris looked almost relieved to hear that, he contemplated that for a moment before slowly letting the woman go. She ran over to you as Derek and Spencer finally came up the stairs and started handcuffing Chris.

“We’ve got two other bodies in the basement,” Spencer said to you while you held the trembling woman, “there's medic on the way now,” you nodded in affirmation before starting to help the women calm down and walk down the stairs.

------

The jet finally landed back at the bureau as the rest of your team started packing their things from their desks.

“Um (Y/n)” a voice called, you smiled as you looked up to see the person you least expected.

“Spence?” you questioned; your eyes darted around and couldn't see any other team member in sight, “everyone left already. Sorry. I've been in my own little world,” you gave a tight smile as you continued packing some extra files into your bag.

“It-it’s just me, but um, I just wanted to congratulate you on your break in the case,” the comment from Spencer's timid and small voice caught you off guard so much that you froze for a moment as you stared at him. It all seemed to go quiet, and slow; the clock on the wall seemed to tick at an atrociously slow pace.

Tick…

“(Y/n)?”

Tock…

“Hmm?”

“I uh, i was-”

“Oh, yeah um-”

Pause.

Quiet.

“Thank you,” smile.

Tick…

“I was...was wondering, (Y/n)...”

Tock…

“Yeah Spence?”

“Would you...would you like to go...on a date...with...me?”

Pause.

Quiet.

“With you?”

“Well, I did...I did say ‘me’ I hope- just, just forget it” and the world went back to normal as Spence started walking away.

“No Spence, wait!” you grabbed your things and quickly darted off after him; plunging your arm between the elevator doors and stepping in quickly before they shut behind you.

“Just forget it (Y/n); forget i ever asked and we can just go back to-”

“I would love to go on a date with you”

Tick…

“Really?”

“So long as you don't call me a paramecium again”

Tock…

“I won't; as long as you don't call me a substitute chemistry teacher”

Pause.

Quiet.

“I won't”

“Then it's settled.

Tick…

“Message me?”

“Of course”

Tock…

Smile.

[lady-chibineko]

Sybok x Bones: Contra todo pronóstico

He subido un fic nuevo de Star Trek, pero no es mi pareja usual, aunque en futuros capítulos se dará el Spirk en algún lugar. Con ustedes una pareja que he amado desde hace años: Sybok x Bones! Y el fic: Contra todo pronóstico https://archiveofourown.org/works/27081574

Título: Contra todo pronóstico

Autor: Lady chibineko

(Miembro de la Orden Sirusiana)

(Miembro de la Mazmorra del Snarry)

(Alumna de la casa de Hufflepuff en Media Noche en la Torre de Astronomía)

Disclaimer: La franquicia de Star Trek es propiedad intelectual de Gene Roddenberry y los respectivos productores de cada saga.  Esta historia entra en Star Trek: el Universo Alterno ("Alternate Original Series" o "AOS") que nos trajo J.J. Abrams en la película del 2009.

Advertencia: Este es un fic slash, lo que quiere decir relación chico-chico; si no es de su agrado este tipo de lectura por favor no sigan.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Capítulo I

Año 2256 - Planeta Risa

Jim Kirk y Leonard McCoy entraron a la habitación del hotel al que hacía menos de 10 minutos ambos habían llegado, y nada más al entrar el rubio lanzó una exclamación de júbilo.

- ¡Wow! ¡Mira esto! El lugar es una belleza Bones ¡Lo vamos a pasar genial!

El doctor solo rodó los ojos y decidió, en primero lugar no decir nada, y en segundo que la cama al lado de la ventana era la suya con el simple hecho de poner su maletín allí.

Por último le dio un buen vistazo a la habitación y decidió que sí, su joven y atolondrado amigo tenía razón. La habitación tenía todos los lujos que de seguro harían su estadía de 15 días por completo memorable.

Aunque cuando Jim localizó en la mesita de estar la estatua de Horga'hn y casi comenzó a bailar con ella frente al doctor, Leonard no dudó un segundo en darle un golpe con la palma de la mano en esa cabeza dura que su amigo se manejaba, a ver si así se le quitaba lo fastidioso.

- ¡Ouch!... Amargado.- fue la respuesta del rubio, junto a una infantil sacada de lengua y un puchero.

Leonard rodó los ojos.

- Ya déjate de payasadas y vamos a ver si la comida del panfleto del premio es tan buena como pintaba.

- ¡Comida! ¡Sí, por favor! Muero de hambre.- fue la respuesta que el mayor obtuvo.

Y como para corroborar aquellas palabras, el estómago del rubio sonó en una queja bastante pronunciada, a lo cual Kirk volvió a sonreír sin pena alguna.

Leonard rodó los ojos, le pasó un brazo por los hombros al muchacho que en el último año había pasado a ser casi un hermano, y juntos se encaminaron al comedor del hotel.

¿Y que andaban esos dos haciendo en Risa? Preguntará usted.

Pues la historia va más o menor así:

Había pasado ya un año desde que ambos amigos se conocieron en aquella nave de la academia, y desde entonces se habían hecho inseparables, comenzando porque compartían el mismo cuarto de estudiantes y terminando por el hecho de compartir penas y alegrías.

Y a ambos aquello les había hecho mucho más que ahorrarles algo de soledad... los había convertido en familia sin lugar a dudas.

Leonard de pronto encontró que no estaba tan solo como creía que iba a estar luego de que su ex-mujer le quitase todo, lo cual incluía a su hija. Encontró un hombro en el cual llorar, un mocoso latoso por el cual preocuparse y un hermano pequeño que era capaz de las más grandes estupideces con tal de verlo reír.

Jim simplemente se encontró con alguien al lado a quien realmente le interesaba por ser él mismo por primera vez en la vida. No por ser el hijo de George Kirk o por ser una buena cogida, sino por ser Jim Kirk. Y eso era algo que nunca había tenido, ni en casa ni fuera de ella.

De manera tácita y silenciosa, ambos decidieron nunca dejar ir de su vida al otro de ser posible, porque un hermano así no se encuentra por allí botado todos los días, y siguieron apoyándose en las buenas y en las malas, día sí y día también. Y hasta allí todo bien... no exactamente tranquilo (eso era imposible con Jim al lado), pero bien.

Y un día, casi al finalizar el primer año, llegó a oídos de Kirk la noticia sobre un concurso en la academia cuyo premio eran dos semanas ¡Todo pagado! en el mejor hotel del planeta Risa.

A Jim se le iluminaron los ojos.

Y no solo porque, bien, era Risa. Es decir ¡RISA! Dos semanas allí serían memorables sin lugar a dudas. Pero no, lo que más lo emocionaba era que el premio era para dos, lo cual quería decir que tendría que llevar a alguien más.

Y allí venía lo mejor, porque por primera vez en toda su vida, tenía en mente a alguien más que la última conquista del momento... o una buena cogida.

¡Iba a ir con Bones!

Iría con su mejor amigo, su casi hermano, su Bones ¡Y sería casi, casi, alrededor de la fecha en que se conocieron esos dos! Bueno, un mes antes, un mes después... quien contaba. Valía como viaje de aniversario de la mejor amistad en el universo universal.

Aunque claro, eso significaría que además de seguir el régimen para acabar la carrera en solo tres años en lugar de cuatro, iba a tener que ponerle tiempo y esfuerzo a ganar el concurso durante las últimas 6 semanas de clases.

¡Pft! ¡Pan comido! ¡Claro que podía!

Así que lo hizo.

Además de las clases, y los grupos de trabajo, y de los exámenes y los clubes académicos en los que participaba; se metió de lleno a participar en el concurso, seguido de pasar todas y cada una de las fases, aunque eso significase dormir tan solo una hora al día. Tal vez dos.

¡Y Bones no sospechó nada de nada casi hasta la cuarta semana!

Para entonces Jim ya estaba entre los semifinalistas y no iba a parar hasta ganar.

Cierto que terminó necesitando un par de hypos vitamínicas y también varios energizantes para mantenerse lo suficientemente despierto para poder rendir al final con clases y el concurso, además de aguantar los gruñidos del doctor, y finalmente terminar durmiendo por 45 horas seguidas... Pero al final lo logró.

¡Ganó el concurso! (y dejó a Uhura, quien fue una de las competidoras, haciéndole al final el mal de ojo. Eso terminó como un bono extra)

Y bueno, cuando por fin recibió el mensaje en su PADD con la información del premio, con los pasajes y el alojamiento tanto a su nombre con al de Len, se iluminó como un niño descubriendo los regalos de Santa en la mañana de Navidad. Y con una sonrisa de 200 watts en el rostro, le presentó aquello a Len en uno de sus PADD's personales.

Bones lo miró alelado por un segundo antes de irse en lágrimas y recriminarle lo idiota y descuidado que había sido.

Y luego lo abrazó agradeciéndole todo entre palabras entrecortadas. Su ex-mujer no iba a dejarlo ver a Joanna durante las vacaciones, pues se la llevaba a ver a la familia de su nueva pareja y eso había destrozado a Bones. Con esto, de pronto parecía como si las piezas rotas comenzaran a juntarse de nuevo de a poquitos.

Por supuesto, aquello solo los unió más.

Y ahora, ambos terminaban un opíparo almuerzo mientras admiraban la vista alrededor, tanto en paisaje como en posibles ligues.

Jim sonrió travieso. Len rodó los ojos y también sonrió.

Definitivamente ira a ser un viaje memorable.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Tres días después, Jim volvía a la habitación tras un interesante almuerzo donde concertó planes para una aún mucho más interesante velada con un par de gemelas caitian.

Pero todo su buen humor se borró de un plumazo al terminar de entrar y ver a su merjor amigo viendo, de manera un tanto desinteresada, una vieja película de inicios del siglos XXI que tal vez estaba ya por la mitad. Un spin off de Rápidos y Furiosos: Hobbs & Shaw 3, si es que no se equivocaba.

- Ey, Bones.- saludó tratando de mostrar una de sus usuales sonrisas.

- ¡Jim! ¿Y esa cara? ¿No te salió bien la cita?

Jim parpadeó.

- De eso nada, me salió muy bien.

- ¿Entonces?- preguntó el sureño, genuinamente interesado.

Jim miró a su amigo por un momento largo, suspiró y fue a sentarse al lado de éste, finalmente recargando su rostro en el hombro del doctor.

- Bones.- dijo entonces Kirk entre serio y triste- ¿Me odias por haberte traído conmigo?

Aquello realmente descolocó a McCoy.

- ¿Qué? ¡Por todos los cielos, mocoso! ¿Qué clase de pregunta es esa? ¿Qué es lo que está pasando por esa loca cabeza tuya?

El rubio lanzó un pequeño suspiro.

- En 3 días apenas y has salido del cuarto solo a comer conmigo. Es más, apenas se te acercó esa Risiana el primer día, te faltaron piernas para salir huyendo hasta aquí.

El doctor gruñó y rodó los ojos, al tiempo que liberaba el brazo que aplastaba Kirk con la cabeza, solo para usarlo al rodearle los hombros del rubio.

- Jim, eres un idiota.- declaró sin malicia el mayor, y el puchero del rubio solo se intensificó- ¡Me encanta estar aquí! ¿De acuerdo? Es solo que... Tal vez no estoy tan listo para esto de estar de citas de nuevo, después de todo. Hace tan solo poco más de un año que terminé lo del divorcio con Joselyn, y... y tal vez ya no me duele en el alma el no estar con ella, y eso es gracias a ti.

- ... Bones...

- Es la verdad. Puede que seas como un mosquito fastidioso zumbando a mi alrededor, pero eso no es para nada malo. Me has escuchado en mis momentos tristes y me has animado después. Sé que puedo contar contigo en las buenas y las malas... Eres ese hermanito latoso con el que no sé que hacer, pero al que igual quiero. Creo que por ahora es suficiente ¿Ok? Además, como bien sabes, Joselyn pasó de ser mi novia de secundaria a ser mi esposa, no es como si realmente estuviese a ir de una flor en otra como tú, y no creo necesitar una cita con cuatrillizos orion para demostrar que estoy disfrutando mi estancia aquí. Estoy bien, relajado y feliz, y eso es suficiente ¿De acuerdo?

Jim miró a Leonard con ojos brillantes por lágrimas que se negaba a dejar salir, y sonrió de manera trémula mientras asentía.

- S-si... Sí. De acuerdo... Pero por lo menos seguiremos yendo juntos al comedor y a pasear en algún momento por allí ¿Cierto?

Leonard volvió a rodar los ojos.

- ¡Pft! ¡Cómo si pudiese liberarme de ti tan fácilmente!

La sonrisa de Jim se hizo un poco más segura y menos temblorosa.

- ¡Y no lo olvides!

Después de eso, Jim se quedó al lado de Leonard para terminar de ver la película (¡Y vaya que Hobbs y Shaw eran candentes! le gustaba que se quedasen juntos al final). Minutos después, se aseguró de arrastrar a Len al comedor a cenar antes de volver a tener que alistarse para su salida de la noche.

Y a diferencia del día anterior, no se sintió intranquilo al dejar a su mejor amigo solo. Aunque igual se prometió no hacer citas tan seguido y guardarse para pasar una que otra noche junto a Bones, tal vez haciendo una pijamada o algo, aun cuando seguramente el doctor lo terminase enviando bien lejos por tales ideas, bajo el justificado argumento de que llevaban un año compartiendo habitación y seguramente sería así durante los siguientes dos años (porque Jim acababa en 3 años sí o sí).

Pero ya se enfrentaría a los gruñidos de Bones cuando fuese el momento, porque en ese instante, tenía otras cosas que hacer.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Llevaban ya una semana en Risa, y Jim había comenzado a quejarse de que los días se estaban yendo demasiado rápido. Y Bones, el muy malvado, se limitaba a reírse de sus lamentos.

Tal y como sucedía en aquellos momentos en los que ambos daban un paseo por los jardines del hotel, en cuyo recorrido ambos cadetes habían recibido más de una mirada apreciativa.

Jim había respondido con un guiño a todas esas miradas, Leonard se limitó a sonreír y luego ignorar cualquier avance de la otra persona.

Fue casi finalizando el recorrido que un peculiar grupo llamó la atención de ambos amigos.

- ¡Bones! ¡Mira! ¡Piratas!- exclamó el rubio con el júbilo de un niño de 3 años, ante lo cual el aludido trató de acallarlo, o por lo menos hacerlo hablar más bajo.

- ¡¿Estás loco?! ¡Jim! ¡No puedes andar diciendo esas cosas en voz alta! ¡¿Qué crees que podría suceder si lo que dices es cierto?!- lo regañó el doctor.

Pero Jim no lo escuchaba, estaba demasiado entretenido con lo que veía... o a quienes.

- ¡Wow! ¡Esos dos bolians son sexys!- replicó más bien el rubio, ofreciendo una sonrisa a dichos individuos a la distancia.

Leonard se limitó a darse con la palma de la mano en la cara, mientras un lastimero gruñido salía de su garganta.

- ¿Sabes qué? Mejor ya vámonos, casi es hora de almorzar.- y acto seguido procedió a jalar a Jim de un brazo con dirección al comedor, a pesar de las protestas del menor sobre querer ir a presentarse.

Lo que ninguno de los dos notó fue la sonrisa en los labios del sujeto que iba delante de aquél grupo, quien se notaba era el líder, y quien de pronto pausó su marcha, llamando así la atención de quienes iban detrás de él.

- ¿Sucede algo capitán?- preguntó el andoriano a su derecha de manera escueta.

El sujeto, cuya cabeza estaba parcialmente cubierta con un caco con visor, sonrió de medio lado.

- Nada importante, Sovars. Simplemente escuché algo interesante. Sigamos.

El humanoide, el andoriano, los dos bolians, una romulana y los dos caitians que conformaban aquél grupo continuaron su camino, aunque más de uno comenzó a buscar con la mirada de manera discreta por aquello que pudiese llamar la atención de su líder, sin lograr nada en concreto.

Minutos después ingresaban al hotel y el líder, quien hizo la reserva bajo el críptico nombre de Sy, recibía las tarjetas para las habitaciones.

- Bueno, tenemos los próximos 10 días para tomar un merecido descanso aquí en Risa. Háganme un favor y traten de no buscar más problemas de los usuales.- exclamó el capitán Sy con una burlona sonrisa.

Las tarjetas fueron colectadas quedando los dos bolianos juntos, al igual que los dos caitian dejando al andoriano y a la romulana en la tercera habitación, y finalmente al capitán solo a sus anchas en la última habitación, por lo cual decidió primero tomar una ducha sónica y luego ya ver que hacer.

Su cuerpo le pedía a gritos dormir un poco, pero siempre había sido un ser curioso por naturaleza, y el imaginar lo que el lugar le deparaba era algo que igual no lo iba a dejar descansar, así que luego de cambiarse se decidió a visitar el comedor, pues con suerte encontraría algo de comer, algo que ver, y hasta pueda que el incentivo adecuado para darse el permiso de por fin dormir un poco.

No le fue difícil ubicarse y encontrar el comedor del hotel, aunque de allí a encontrar un lugar libre... el comedor estaba al tope. Por suerte estaba solo y seguro podría acomodarse en cualquier lugar, porque de tener a su tripulación con él...

De pronto sus pensamientos fueron interrumpidos por una presencia que ya antes había sentido, y al voltear...

¡Ah! ¡Allí estaba ese par que hablaba sobre piratas espaciales!

Una media sonrisa traviesa adornó los labios del capitán Sy, justo antes de que el mencionado se dirigiese hacia el par de humanos.

- ¡Todo Jim! ¡Quiero ver todas esas verduras desaparecer antes de que dejemos esta mesa!- decía con decisión la voz de quien debía estar a cargo ¿Hermano? ¿Amante? ¿Amigo? No podía precisarlo... aún.

- ¡Pero Booooones!- escuchó al otro quejarse. Definitivamente más jóven- ¡Son vacaciones! ¡Con todo pagado! ¡Quiero filete, no verduras!

Pero tras un gruñido de inconformidad ¿Jim? comenzó a comer las mencionadas verduras, aunque masticando con lentitud y desidia en clara protesta.

- ¡Bien!- no que a su acompañante pareciera importarle.

Hora de entrar en escena.

- Disculpen caballeros ¿Les molestaría si me siento con ustedes? Me temo que el lugar está lleno y no hay sitio siquiera en la barra para alguien solo como yo.

Un corto silencio siguió a aquel pedido, antes de que un James Kirk de ojos brillantes y alelados comenzara con un...

- ¡El pir!- una patada por debajo de la mesa lo calló justo a tiempo.

Sy tuvo que sonreír ante aquello y el aire de completo ultraje que envolvía al sujeto llamado 'Bones'.

Y fue a éste último que sintió comenzando a decir algo, cuando un alegre.

- ¡Claro! ¡Toma asiento!- fue dicho por el más jóven.

- ¡Jim!- fue el susurro ansioso de 'Bones', pero Jim lo ignoró por completo.

Sy se sentó, antes de levantar la mano para llamar a algún camarero, siendo pronto atendido y pidiendo una ensalada y un jarro de jugo.

- Mi nombre es Sy. Un placer.- dijo el recién llegado con una sonrisa ganadora una vez que el camarero se retirase.

La emoción de Jim era palpable en el aire.

- Yo soy Jim, y este de aquí es mi mejor amigo en todo el universo, Leonard.

Aquellas palabras fueron recibidas por un gruñido del parte del mencionado, y sorpresa bien camuflada de parte de Sy ¿Leonard? Pero si había escuchado 'Bones'.

- ¿Y qué hacen ustedes dos aquí? Si no es mucha intromisión preguntar.

- Si lo es.- fue el nuevo gruñido de Leonard.

La risa del menor vibró en el aire.

- Pues de vacaciones como la mayoría. Ganamos un concurso en la academia de la Flota por dos semanas aquí, y pienso aprovechar hasta el último segundo.

- ¿La Flota? ¡Oh, vaya! No los imaginé como cadetes.

- ¿Algún problema con eso?- gruñó el humano con acento sureño.

Pero la respuesta fue dejada en el aire debido a que el camarero volvió a aparecer para servir lo pedido, y apenas se retiró, el recién llegado llevó con gusto un primer bocado de ensalada a sus labios, gruñendo con satisfacción al comenzar a masticar.

- Con hambre ¿Eh?

- Famélico.- respondió Sy entre bocado y bocado, lo cual solo ocasionó que Jim volviese a reír y que Leonard gruñese por lo bajo.

- ¿Seguro que están de vacaciones?- preguntó entonces Sy con risa en la voz- Porque para alguien que se divierte, Leonard aquí presente parece no estar pasándola tan bien.

Y aún con el rostro medio cubierto, podría notarse la diversión del que hablaba.

Y ante eso y el indignado '¡Oye!' del aludido, el rubio no pudo evitar doblarse de risa sobre su comida.

Y eso fue todo lo que se necesitó para romper la tensión entre los tres, dejándole al recién llegado, de pronto, un interesante par de humanos como compañía, y la verdad no tenía ninguna intención de dejarlos ir.

Tanto así que algunas horas después, el andoriano y la romulana que Jim y Len habían visto dentro del grupo que acompañaba a Sy, encontraron justamente a los tres conversando de manera amena en uno de los salones del hotel, incluso si la charla incluía algunos gruñidos de parte de cierto humano procedente de Georgia.

- ¿Capitán?- preguntó más que saludó el andoriando al llegar al lado del aludido.

- ¡Ah! ¡Sovars! Vengan, vengan; los voy a presentar- dijo Sy sin dejar casi la conversación.

- ¿Capitán?- preguntó Jim con sorpresa.

- ¿Celoso?- retrucó con travesura entonces el 'Capitán', quien durante las horas de conversación había escuchado la pasión con la que el joven humano había declarado su deseo de convertirse en el capitán más joven de la historia de la Flota.

El rubio gruñó entonces de manera ligera, antes de estallar en risas.

- Te detesto.- declaró de buen humor.

- Sí, sí. Tú también me caes bien.- declaró Sy sin pena alguna.

El otro humano soltó un bufido.

- Lo mismo que tú, Leonard.- declaró de manera casi seria, lo cual produjo un nuevo caso de risas en Jim, lo que hizo que Sy sonriera aún más divertido- Y ahora, Jim, Leonard les presento a Sovars, ni número uno.- declaró señalando al andoriano, tras lo cual pasó a su acompañante- Y a Ceti, mi ingeniero en jefe. Muchachos, nuestros nuevos amigos Jim y Leonard.

- ¡Escuchaste Bones! ¡No seas gruñón y saluda! Mucho gusto.- saludó el joven y enérgico humano rubio.

Los dos recién llegados se miraron un segundo entre sí antes de corresponder a los saludos con un par de asentimientos de cabeza, lo cual solo provocó otro estallido de risas en Jim.

- Creo que son de tu club de parcos y gruñones, Bones.

Y aquella aseveración solo hizo que fuese esta vez Sy quien se largase a reír con ganas junto al rubio.

El andoriano y la romulana se miraron con asombro.

El resto no se lo iba a poder creer.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Un par de días después, la adición de Jim y Leonard a la recién llegada tripulación había resultado inevitable, por lo menos durante la estancia de los implicados en Risa.

Lo que era el rubio, ni bien conoció a los mellizos bolianos Qota y Nidra Kugrru, olvidó por completo sus charlas sobre mejoramiento de turbinas con Ceti, y se dedicó a tontear con éstos, siendo completamente correspondido.

No que ello fuese una gran sorpresa, y Len pensaba que el que Jim tuviese sesiones amorosas en trio durante las noches de sus últimos días en Risa (y durante las mañanas, y de paso algunas tardes también) con el mismo par de hermanos, era igual más sano que saberlo con individuos diferentes cada noche. Menos hypos que usar para prevenir ETS provenientes de no humanos, y menos sustos de paso.

El otro par de hermanos de la pequeña tripulación, un par de caitian machos, M'Reyer y Conrniss; resultaron ser bastante sociales y fáciles de tratar también. Aunque a diferencia de los dos bolianos, no andaban en búsqueda de acostones sino de realmente echarse bajo la sombra de un árbol y descansar.

Pero lo más destacado fue sin duda el hecho de que el alegre capitán estaba realmente interesado en el gruñón doctor, y no perdía oportunidades para demostrarlo o susurrarlo, para mortificación del humano receptor de dichas atenciones.

- ¡Pero Bones! ¡Es Risa! Y Sy no parece tan malo, pirata o no.- comentó Jim en algún momento cuando ambos se quedaron solos.

El aludido solo bufó.

Jim sonrió travieso.

- Además, luego de un año te conozco lo suficiente para saber que, aunque sea un poco, te gusta.

Leonard volvió a gruñir, aunque esta vez con un visible sonrojo en las mejillas.

Jim no perdió tiempo en continuar.

- Y por último, lo que sucede en Risa, se queda en Risa ¿Que tienes que perder?

Los ojos marrón hazel se posaron en el rostro del rubio, y Jim supo sin lugar a dudas que su casi hermano se las estaba pensando en serio.

Tal vez un empujoncito más.

- Y aún con el casco que lleva siempre encima, tan mal no se ve. Lindo cuerpo, bien tonificado...

- ¡Urgh! ¡Ya! De acuerdo ¡Sí! Es atractivo y me interesa ¿Bien? Lo admito ¿Vas a parar?

- Depende. Dale una oportunidad y ya no molesto más.

Leonard solo rodó los ojos.

- Ya qué. Seguro igual no lo vuelvo a ver más en mi vida después de que salgamos de aquí.

Jim sonrió satisfecho.

Fin del primer capítulo

Notas de la autora:

¡Hola a todos!

No me maten por iniciar un nuevo fic sin terminar el de 'Lazos de familia', porque sí lo voy a actualizar pronto, pero ¿Esto? He soñado con iniciar este fic por MUUUUUCHO tiempo, y estoy dándome el gusto.

Muchas gracias a quienes hayan entrado y leído hasta aquí. Prometo que el siguiente capítulo será más explicativo. Y que tendrá mucho fluff.

¡Y no se preocupen que el cap 8 de 'Lazos...' va a ser subido pronto.

Un beso felino para todos.  

chibineko chan

(Miembro de la Orden Sirusiana)

(Alumna de la casa de Hufflepuff en Media Noche en la Torre de Astronomía)

(Miembro de la Mazmorra del Snarry)

~.~.~.~.~.~

Campaña de NO AL PLAGIO 

Digamos NO al plagio, este mensaje va dirigido al público, para que el trabajo de cada uno como autor sea tratado con el respeto que se merece.  Recuerden que cada obra es como el bebé de cada uno de los que creamos dichas obras; y como tales amaremos y protegeremos esas obras dándole lo mejor de nosotros para que el resto del mundo pueda disfrutar con el resultado final.  Por eso, si sabes de algún caso de plagio, denúncialo al autor del respectivo trabajo, ten por seguro que dicho autor te lo agradecerá.  Gracias

[youngandhungryent]

Blank Stare: Daisy Ridley Reveals Her Mysterious ‘Star Wars’ Character Rey Was Almost A Kenobi

Source: Walt Disney Studios / Disney

Even though Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker has come and gone, the movie still continues to haunt Star Wars fans around the world.

When it comes to the final chapter in the Skywalker saga, there has been a whole lot of woulda, coulda, and shoulda going on. Since the film’s 2019 release, there have been plenty of revelations that pretty much have pissed off fans who have seen their theories tha have formulated since 2015’s The Force Awakens be taken and thrown in the trash can.

The film’s star, Daisy Ridley, who played the mysterious Rey, shared another interesting revelation that has fans of the now Disney-owned film franchise heads exploding in frustration. Speaking with fellow actor Josh Gad who filled in for Jimmy Kimmel on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Gad asked about her *spoiler alert* huge plot twist the revealed her to be the granddaughter of Star War’s supreme villain and Darkside aficionado  Emperor Palpatine.

Ridley revealed that despite director J.J. Abrams ultimately deciding to make Rey a Palpatine, it was never really truly set in stone and that at one point, they were considering making her a descendent of the legendary Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Ridley also detailed how they juggled back in forth with what her lineage would ultimately be, confirming how much of a mess The Rise of Skywalker indeed was.

“At the beginning, there was toying with an Obi-Wan connection — there were different versions — then it really went to it was no one, and then it came to Episode IX, and J.J. [Abrams] pitched me the film and was like, ‘Oh, yeah, Palpatine is Granddaddy,'”

“Then two weeks later, he was like, ‘Oh, we’re not sure. So, it kept changing. So, then even as we were filming, I wasn’t sure what the answer was going to be.”

The revelation, of course, had Star Wars fans already mad about The Rise of Skywalker, infuriated about the decision to scrap Rey Kenobi. One person tweeted:

“Daisy Ridley was supposed to be Rey Kenobi, then Rey Nobody and then Rey Palpatine in the worst planned and written trilogy in the history of cinema.”

Ouch.

Ridley is the latest cast member from the film to speak about the conclusion that arrived with the loudest thud ever. John Boyega hasn’t been shy about his disdain about how Disney presented his character as an essential piece to the Star Wars puzzle only to see Finn reduced to a screaming sidekick. Boyega also called out the house of the mouse for its treatment of the film’s diverse cast members.

The only thing that can solve this issue now is some sort of director’s cut, like Justice League’s Snyder Cut, and we know that ain’t happening. You can peep the interview below if you want to get mad at The Rise of Skywalker all over again.

—

Photo: Walt Disney Studios / Disney

source https://hiphopwired.com/906564/daisy-ridley-rey-kenobi-star-wars/

[watchingthesuperbowl]

Notes taken during Super Bowl LII

KITTEN AND PUPPY BOWLS

Is this the first-ever Kitten Bowl to go to overtime? Tied at 28. Feline Manning throws deep. Macaroni grabs it in the end zone. Touchdown! 34-28 Panthers, final score.

I've never thought much of Feline Manning in the regular season, but you can't argue with his results in the Kitten Bowl.

There's a new Puppy Bowl stadium? This is embarrassing. The taxpayers are getting fleeced again.

OH HELL YES. THE REFEREE AT PUPPY BOWL IS A SLOTH.

Update: Puppy Bowl is tied at 14 after a quarter. It's anybody's game.

Dammit. Should have called it a pupdate.

Puppy Bowl is 24-21 in the second quarter. It's quickly becoming apparent that dogs can't play defense.

Pupdate: Fluff 28, Ruff 24. Presumably, we're deep into the second quarter.

Now it's 31-28 Ruff. Still in the second quarter. I'm sure Puppy Bowl XIV is on track to destroy the all-time record for total points scored in a single game.

Last second touchdown! Fluff pulls off a 52-47 win over Ruff!

PREGAME

Okay, I've got a beer, dinner is on its way, and I'm settling in to finish this project. The only reason I've finished this is that I'm a stubborn SOB. This hasn't been fun for about 6-7 months now.

A feature about Tom Brady's mom. She had cancer in 2016 and was only able to be at one of his games, Super Bowl LI. A nice story.

Oh, cool, now Dan Patrick asked Brady when he knew he could be great. It's no longer a heartwarming story about his mom, now it's about slurping on Brady.

Patrick comparing Brady to Michael Jordan. Brady says he doesn't think about that very often. Could never be compared to his childhood heroes.

Brady has no idea how he'll fill the void when he retires. Maybe coach his kids. He's happy his kids are old enough to see him play. His son didn't pick him in fantasy football. Took Cam Newton instead.

You know what NBC should do more of? Talk about Tom Brady. I wonder where they rank him on the all-time list.

Now it's a feature about the Eagles defense. Not a ton of big names, says Chris Long, but they have a bunch of good players.

And then they end it with more about Tom Brady. Good. More of that, please. I never get sick of it.

One thing I've noticed, in watching all these Super Bowls, is that the team with the better defense wins more often than you'd expect. If one team is offense-reliant and the other is defense-reliant, the defensive team wins a bunch of games. That would be the Eagles here.

Rodney Harrison: Patriots will run short passes and screen passes to avoid the Eagle pass rush.

Commercials. Zelle. Applebees has a quesadilla burger. George Washington crossing the Delaware Turnpike for Geico. Turbotax. Promo for a new NBC series, Good Girls. It's not about puppers, unfortunately. Promo for the Olympics.

NBC bumps in with a bunch of sound bites from Eagles and Patriots fans. The Patriots remain the worst. I hope this old guy gets to see an Eagles championship.

Rodney Harrison: Tom Brady gave me a hug, told me he loves me, and gave me a little wink. I've seen that wink before. That means he's going to have a big game.

Dungy and John Harbaugh talk about how loose and calm the Eagles seem. Harrison says the Patriots need to come out and start fast. Can't fall behind the Eagles like they did last year against Atlanta.

Harrison picks the Patriots. Harbaugh picks the Eagles, says they'll hold New England under 24. Dungy picks the Eagles, says he's fallen in love with Nick Foles. Dan Patrick doesn't pick anybody. It's good to be the host.

Commercials: HQ trivia. You can watch the game in Spanish on Universo. Local ad for Tim Hortons. Local ad for Columbus Cyberknife prostate cancer treatment. State Farm insurance. State of Ohio PSA saying you shouldn't drive drunk. YoutubeTV. The commercial for Youtube TV includes a bunch of NBC programming.

Time for the "Youtube TV kickoff show". Starts with a Carrie Underwood song. Great. This is where I need a fast forward button.

There's a rap breakdown in the middle of this Underwood song. They show Super Bowl legends including Roger Staubach during that part of the song. Staubach has been one of my absolute favorite players to watch in these Super Bowls, but he is the least "hip hop" person on earth.

Al Michaels: This is a league built for parity and the Patriots are on the cusp of their sixth championship in 17 years. Eagles have a history of success, but have never won a Super Bowl.

Cris Collinsworth: Everybody knows Tom Brady, but not Nick Foles. But Foles is capable of having a tremendous game. Had one of the greatest seasons in NFL history in 2013. Chip Kelly says you're welcome.

Commercials: A really long commercial for Mass Mutual that involves people singing a Pretenders song. Red Sparrow.

Eagles walk out to the field. NBC runs a montage of their players introducing themselves. "Donnie Bag of Bones Jones" is the punter.

Patriots now. "Chris Hogan, Penn State lacrosse." I wouldn't want to be associated with their football program either. (Also, he didn't play football in college.)

It's very clear very early who the fans in the stadium want to win. The Patriots are loudly booed as they take the field.

Commercials: Kraft, US Bank, Mercedes Benz, Terrell Owens for Pizza Hut, Winter Olympics Promo.

Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year Award. J.J. Watt, unsurprisingly. He did a ton of work to raise money for hurricane relief after Houston got leveled.

America The Beautiful. Leslie Odom Jr. I genuinely have no clue who this person is. He can sing, though. He nails it.

It turns out Leslie Odom Jr. played Aaron Burr in Hamilton. This would explain why I don't know who he is.

The Star Spangled Banner. Pink. She also nails it.

Commercials. I spaced out and may have missed one. The Quiet Place. Lionel Richie for TD Ameritrade. Big Mac.

Michaels: What's the most likely way the Eagles win this game? Collinsworth: The offensive line and defensive line. They need to be able to run the ball and they need to be able to pressure Brady without blitzing him. It's hard to imagine that this game could come down to anything other than Tom Brady.

Coin toss: Medal of Honor winners. Very cool. Herschel "Woody" Williams will toss the coin. Won the Medal of Honor for valor at the Battle of Iwo Jima in World War II.

The referee called him Willie Williams. Oof.

Now he called him Corporal Wilson.

Eagles call tails. It's heads. Patriots defer, Eagles will receive.

Michele Tafoya: Eagles coach Doug Pederson told Nick Foles "You're not Tom Brady. Be Nick."

Commercials. I spaced out again. Is there a new Jurassic Park movie? There was a thing for that. Also YouTube TV.

NBC bumps in from commercial with a bunch of sound bites from past Super Bowl heroes. Staubach, Namath, Hines Ward.

FIRST QUARTER

Okay, kickoff time

Line-drive kickoff. Clement takes it out to the 25.

First play, pass right to Agholor. 5 yard gain.

Agholor for 2 more yards on second down. Michaels says Foles completed 15 passes in a row at the end of the NFC championship game. It's 17 in a row now.

18 in a row. Foles buys time on third down and hits Alshon Jeffery for 15 yards or so.

Well, there's an incomplete pass. Torrey Smith can't come up with the ball on a 2nd and 12 downfield pass.

Smith more than makes up for the incompletion - goes up the ladder to make a 15 yard catch on 3rd and 12. Eagles approaching field goal range.

Eagles running a bunch of "RPO" plays. (Run-pass option.) Ajayi runs for six on first down. Next play is a screen pass to Corey Clement. Takes it to the New England 5. The Patriots were blitzing and got burned. First and goal.

2nd and goal from the 2. False start on tight end Zach Ertz. Ouch. Offensive penalties inside the 5 are brutal.

Yep, that false start penalty was a killer. After incomplete passes on second down and third down, the Eagles will attempt a field goal.

Got it. A chip shot field goal ends a 14-play game opening drive. 3-0 Eagles. NBC bumps out to commercial with "The Underdog" by Spoon, which is cool.

Commercials: Toyota supports the Paralympics. Sprint has a Westworld parody

Eagles kick off. It's a touchback. Then more commercials.

Commercials: Solo, a Star Wars story. With Donald Glover! Nothing brings it down quite like Dr. Oz in the next commercial. Ugh. Go away. Turkish Airlines. He is Turkish, so there's that. Promo for a new show called Rise. Looks like a musical. Great.

Stop me if you've heard this before. Brady completes a short, outside pass to James White for a first down. 15 yards. Next play is a pass to James White. Because all he does is catch passes in the Super Bowl. That play's wiped out after a 12 men on the field penalty on the defense.

Brady to Chris Hogan underneath, coming across the middle, for a gain of 28. They're inside the Philadelphia 30. Next play is an end around to Hogan for four yards.

Brady to Gronkowski coming across the middle. Another completion, another first down at the 14.

Oh, hey, it's a completion to James White. Gains six yards, down to the 8.

NBC is using a white line to mark the line of scrimmage which is horrible and I hate it. I can't tell which is the line of scrimmage and which is the 10 yard line. Brady throws behind Gronk on third down and the Patriots settle for a Gostkowski field goal attempt.

Yup. 26 yard field goal for Gostkowski. 3-3, late first quarter.

Commercials: Bud Light with a Dilly Dilly ad that I've seen before. M&Ms. The red M&M turns into Danny Devito, who walks down the streets of New York asking if people want to eat him. Promo for the halftime show. Justin Timberlake. Winter Olympics promo.

Kenjon Barner with a decent kickoff return. Kenjon is my dude. Thrilled that he's had an NFL career. Incredibly cool guy.

Big, big run for another Duck, LaGarrette Blount. 36 yard rumble into New England territory. Collinsworth says the Patriots asked Blount to take a pay cut, he said no, and went to the Eagles.

TOUCHDOWN! Foles deep to Alshon Jeffery, who makes an incredible grab in the end zone.

Ugh, they blew the extra point. 9-3 Eagles.

A good article about Barner. He studied, among other things, ballet dancing at Oregon.

Commercials: Ram trucks, Wendy's. Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

HEY, JEFFERY. NICE CATCH, JEFFERY.

Commercials: A Hulu show from Stephen King and J.J. Abrams. Heroes Arena mobile game. Olympics promo.

The Patriots look very human at this point. Which, yeah, it's the first quarter of the Super Bowl. Gronk false start, Brady overshoots Hogan, and it's 3rd and 7.

Hey, you guys? You might want to cover Danny Amendola. Amendola is wide open deep and Brady hits him. First down at the Philadelphia 29.

Collinsworth: Eagles defense led the league in highest percentage of threes-and-out in the regular season, but they're struggling with New England's fast-paced offense.

First quarter ends. Philadelphia 9, New England 3.

Commercials: Peter Dinklage for Doritos. Morgan Freeman for Mountain Dew Ice. Both are lip-synching rap songs. David Harbour for Tide. Skyscraper starring Dwayne Johnson.

289 yards of total offense in the first quarter between the two teams.

SECOND QUARTER

Third down, Brandin Cooks on a jet sweep. Tries to jump over a tackler but can't get that done.

New England botches a field goal attempt. Holder drops the ball, Gostkowski has to stop, then start, then drills it into the left upright. Big break for Philadelphia.

Foles with a nice move to avoid a sack on third and long. Probably could run for a first down but throws to Ertz. Incomplete. Donnie Bag of Bones Jones to punt.

Fair catch at the 37.

Commercials: Another Dilly Dilly ad for Bud Light. ETrade. A movie. I was looking away. Mission Impossible? Is there one of those? Olympics promo. After the game, "This is Us".

Brady to Cooks downfield for 23. Gets absolutely annihilated by Malcolm Jenkins and he's not moving. There was a bit of helmet-to-helmet contact. Commercial time.

Commercials: Rocket Mortgage. Avocados from Mexico. The Cloverfield Paradox.

We're back from commercial. Cooks has been taken to the locker room. There was no penalty on the hit because he was a runner and not defenseless.

Third down, the Patriots run a reverse/throwback play, a pass to Tom Brady. Incomplete - Brady dropped the ball. They go for it on 4th and 5 from the 35. Incomplete pass. Turnover on downs.

Commercials. Diet Coke with Mango, Jeep, Tide, WeatherTech. Halftime show promo.

Michaels: Patriots DB Malcolm Butler has played zero defensive snaps today. The team says it's "a coach's decision".

Foles downfield to Zach Ertz, First down at the New England 43.

Great throw and catch from Foles to Jeffery downfield. 22 yard gain.

Next play, LaGarrette Blount! Blows through the defense for a 21 yard touchdown. 15-3 Eagles. They go for two, which I absolutely hate. Incomplete pass. It's still 15-3.

Commercials: Pringles. Febreze. Chris Pratt for Michelob Ultra.

Anyway, back to the "going for two" thing. I wouldn't do it until I absolutely had to. The second quarter is not that time.

NBC graphic: Most championships by a coach/QB combo: Belichick-Brady and Lombardi-Starr are tied with five.

Cutaways: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez. Mike Trout, who Al Michaels calls a California Angel. Missed it by a couple decades, Al.

Big play from Brady to Burkhead. A screen pass - he nearly breaks it for a touchdown. Gets it to the Eagles' 29.

Third and 8, the Eagles completely blow up a screen pass with backfield penetration. Brady throws it away. Gostkowski kicks a 45 yard field goal. 15-6. And that's why you kick the extra point. A ten point lead is so much better than a nine-point lead.

Um, hello? The screen has gone black. I don't know what just happened. No commercials. They go back to the stadium after 10-15 seconds.

Tafoya: Brandin Cooks will not return. He has a "head injury". Patriots now have a total of three wide receivers available.

Michaels: Foles nearly retired when he was released by the Rams. Decided there was only one coach he'd play for, Andy Reid of the Chiefs. Reid wanted him.

Collinsworth: I love what Nick Foles is doing. When the Patriots blitz, he's throwing the ball to the area vacated by the blitzer.

Big run from Ajayi on third and 4. Inside handoff, looks like he's in trouble, and he bursts through the hole to the New England 43.

Huge break for the Patriots. Alshon Jeffery makes a one-handed catch downfield inside the 10 but the ball squirts loose, hits him on the other hand, and bounces to a New England defensive back for an interception.

Commercials: Squarespace, Dodge Ram uses a Martin Luther King speech to sell trucks, which is unbelievably gross.

Gross.

Brady deep to Chris Hogan inside the 30. Next play, James White breaks about eight thousand tackles on a 26 yard touchdown run. Patriots doing Patriots things right before the half.

Gostkowski blows the extra point. 15-12 Eagles as we hit the two minute warning.

Nope.

Huge play for the Eagles on third and 3. Corey Clement runs a swing route down the right sideline and Foles lofts it to him for a 55 yard gain inside the 10.

Next play, Clement powers up the middle to the 2. Nice power run from a third-down back. Clement again on second down. Up the middle again, gets to the 1. Patriots call timeout. 0:40 left.

Good lord, Alshon Jeffery got tackled in the end zone before the ball got there. Incomplete pass. They'll line up to go for it on fourth and goal.

Timeout, Eagles. They want to think about this. The offense is back on the field.

OH WOW. OH WOW.

Direct snap to Clement, flips it to Trey Burton, who throws to a wide-open Foles in the end zone. Touchdown. 22-12 Eagles with 0:34 left in the half.

Once again, Al Michaels says Mike Trout plays for the California Angels.

Patriots have the ball at midfield with 0:03 left. They're lining up for a Hail Mary.

They don't run a Hail Mary. They throw a swing pass to Amendola, who gains 20 yards as the half ends.

At halftime: Philadelphia 22, New England 12

Eagles coach Doug Pederson on the fourth down call at the 1: Our guys marched downfield and I wasn't going to let them get stopped at the one.

HALFTIME

There are commercials happening, but I'm going to grab a snack and a drink. It's a local break anyway.

Commercials: "Unsolved" on USA Network. Pepsi.

Halftime show. Justin Timberlake. Opens with an unbelievably cool laser show under the stage. Now he's coming upstairs into the stadium. Not sure what's with the wardrobe choice. A black leather jacket with fringe and a bandana tied around his neck.

Justin Timberlake isn't my thing musically, but this has been a good halftime show. Better than the Coldplay/Beyonce thing. Better than the Black Eyed Peas. He seems to be changing stages for every new song.

Timberlake doing a "duet" with Prince, which is something Prince was pretty adamant about opposing when he was alive.

Mental note: Make a GIF of the saxophone guy Timberlake walked by just now.

I remembered. Look at sax guy on the left. He's the new Left Shark.

Okay, halftime show over. It was good. Not the best I've ever seen, but solid.

Commercials: A "Jack Ryan" series on Amazon, which seems like exactly the sort of show you'd make if you didn't want me to watch it. Verizon.

Dan Patrick: This is the first game in NFL history to be 22-12 at halftime.

Commercials: Promo for The Voice. Spectrum cable. Giant Eagle. This is obviously a local break. PSA about drinking and driving.

This is the first Super Bowl in history where both QBs were over 200 yards passing in the first half.

Tafoya: Asked Belichick why Butler wasn't playing. He said he makes decisions to give his team the best chance to win. Belichick says they need to do everything better in the second half.

THIRD QUARTER

First play of the second half, Brady misses a wide open Gronk.

They connect on the second play of the half. 25 yard completion downfield to the 50. Next play, Brady to Gronkowski again. 24 yards this time, to the Philadelphia 26.

3rd and 6, Gronkowski again. First and goal at the 8.

It's all Gronk, all the time. Brady zips it to Gronkowski in the end zone on second and goal. 22-18, pending the extra point.

This is not optimal defensive positioning.

Got it this time. 22-19 Eagles. Brady up to 344 yards passing with more than 12 minutes left in the third quarter.

Commercials. Anheuser Busch. Turbotax.

My dude.

Eagles called for a block in the back on the kickoff return. They'll start this drive inside their 20.

Third and 6, Eagles trying to avoid a three-and-out. Agholor with a catch underneath, breaks a tackle to pick up the first down.

A couple of nice runs from Blount and they're into New England territory.

Collinsworth suspects something's up with Jay Ajayi and maybe it is, but Blount has been great.

Ajayi looked okay on that run. Gains 9 on 2nd and 10 and gets to the New England 40.

3rd and 1, Foles to Ertz down the sideline. Gets to the Patriots' 26.

3rd and 6, Foles throws into the end zone. What. a. throw. Corey Clement double covered and the ball is perfect. Looks like Clement bobbled the ball. It's under review as NBC goes to commercial.

Commercials: Jeep. Westworld on HBO. Turbotax.

Ruling on the field stands. Touchdown. It was a close call. Collinsworth is flabbergasted. I don't know what a catch is anymore, to be frank, but I've seen worse calls than that. Extra point is good. 29-19 Eagles.

Commercials: Kia. Blacture.com. Eli Manning mumbling incoherently for something or other. Olympics promo.

Eagles called for defensive holding. Gronk sold it well.

2nd and 8, Dion Lewis up the middle for 6. 3rd and 2 from the Eagles 45.

Brady downfield to Amendola on third and 1. Amendola to the 26 yard line. Next play, Brady to Hogan, who falls into the end zone. Got it. Touchdown. 29-25 with the extra point to come.

Extra point is good.

Commercials: Avengers. T-Mobile. Jesus Christ Superstar promo.

Cutaways: Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton, Floyd Mayweather, Jimmy Fallon, Bradley Cooper.

Commercials: Toyota. Wix. Kraft. The Today Show.

Brady is 19-32 for 404 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT.

First play of the next drive, Folds downfield to Agholor. First down near midfield. Next play, Foles to Torrey Smith. 18 yard gain.

Jet sweep to Agholor for 9 on 2nd and 8. First down inside the New England 25.

NBC graphic: The two teams have combined for 955 total yards, the most in Super Bowl history. And it's still the third quarter.

Third quarter ends. The Eagles have a 3rd and 3 from the New England 15 yard line.

After three quarters: Philadelphia 29, New England 26

Commercials: NFL promo. ADT. Ohio Northern University. Obviously this is a local break. State Farm.

FOURTH QUARTER

Patriots blow up a swing pass to Agholor on third down. Eagles will presumably attempt a field goal after a loss of 8.

Jake Elliott drills a 42 yard field goal. Sets the record for the longest field goal kicked by a rookie in the Super Bowl. 32-26 Eagles. AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER.

Commercials: Monster headphones. Michelob Ultra. Groupon.

It's a Rex Burkhead kind of drive for New England. Burkhead run for 5, then Burkhead for 9, then Burkhead for 4.

3rd and 3 for the Patriots. It's clear from motion that the defense is in man coverage, so Brady throws to Amendola. Because that's what he does in man coverage. First down. Next play is a pass downfield to Amendola. First down at the Philadelphia 20.

Hey, have I mentioned HOW BAD AN IDEA IT IS TO GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER?

Swing pass to Amendola for 9. Second and 1 inside the 10.

James White up the middle. First and goal at the Eagles' 3.

Brady is up to 453 yards passing. Throws incomplete on first and goal. Gronk. Brady into the end zone for his big tight end. It's tied at 32, which Michaels describes as the Patriots' first lead of the game.

Brady is now up to 457 yards and 3 TD.

Extra point is good. 33-32 Patriots.

Commercial: Amazon Alexa.

"So I said to myself 'We need that point. We have to get it back. We need to go for two.'"

2nd and 6, Foles throws deep to Smith on a one-on-one jump ball. It falls incomplete. Weird play. It's a huge third down here.

HUGE PLAY. Foles to Ertz for 7 on 3rd and 6. Nice throw.

Clock under 7:00 as Foles throws to Clement. Seven yard gain on 2nd and 8. It's third and 1.

Eagles throw on third and 1. Ugh. It's a swing pass and it's stuffed. Pederson will go for it on 4th and 1.

WHEW. They threw the ball and picked it up. Foles to Ertz for 2. Clock below 5:00. Eagles near midfield.

Philadelphia uses a timeout with 4:52 left in regulation. They have two left.

Commercials: Coke. Peyton Manning for Universal Parks and Resorts. The World Cup on Telemundo.

Nice play by Agholor. Foles escapes the pocket and hits Agholor on the run at the sticks. First down. 3:30 and counting. First and 10 from the New England 43.

Agholor again! Foles zips it to him across the middle. There was a tiny window to complete that pass and he did it. First down inside the 25. The clock is about to become a factor here - the Eagles are likely to take the lead, barring a turnover. The question is how much time Brady will have and how many points he'll need.

Foles is up over 350 yards now. It's pretty obvious that the winning quarterback is going to be the MVP.

1,081 total yards tonight. The most in any NFL postseason game, ever.

Foles to Agholor for 10 yards to the Patriots' 14. Forced out of bounds.

Ajayi for three yards up the middle. Patriots burn their second timeout with 2:30 remaining in regulation. It'll be 2nd and 7.

Incomplete pass on second and 7. Third and 7 here. 2:25 left. Brady's going to have some time, it looks like. If they can get 8 yards on this play, that would be perfect.

TOUCHDOWN! I think. Yeah, that's a touchdown. He had the ball, took a few steps, and dove into the end zone. Ertz took three steps before the ball hit the ground. It seems obvious that this is a touchdown. Collinsworth thinks they have to overturn it. I think he's insane.

I don't see how this is a close call. He caught the ball, started running, dove, got over the goal line, and then the ball popped loose. How is this a question?

What is Collinsworth smoking?

Yeah, they call it a touchdown. That was an easy one, I think. Collinsworth is silent.

Eagles up 38-33. They'll go for two.

Nope. Incomplete pass. AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER. DAMMIT.

Brady has 2:21 to put together a touchdown drive.

Collinsworth is still talking about this?

Michaels: In all five Super Bowls Brady has won, he has come back to win them.

Brady to Gronk for 8. 2:16.

BRADY FUMBLES! HOLY CRAP! EAGLES RECOVER.

The game isn't over, but it's damn close. Start chilling nem bottles of champagne.

We reach the two-minute warning with 1:56 left. It'll be third and 5 from the New England 26. They'll run the ball, get the clock down to 1:20 or so, then either kick a field goal (if they don't pick up the first down) or take a knee (if they do).

Blount stuffed on third down. Clock will be down to 1:10 before the field goal attempt. Eagles take a timeout with 70 seconds left.

46 yard field goal, dead center from Jake Elliott. Eagles up 41-33 with 1:05 left. Hell of a clutch kick by a rookie.

Patriots try to run a trick play on the return, but Burkhead is stuffed at the 9. Brady needs to go 91 yards in 58 seconds.

1st and 10, incomplete to Hogan.

2nd and 10, incomplete to White. 0:48 left.

3rd and 10, Brady under pressure in his own end zone, gets the throw off. Incomplete. It's 4th and 10. Now or never.

Complete to Amendola for 12 yards. They spike it with 26 seconds left. They still need 78 yards.

Brady to Gronk. Gets out of bounds at his own 33. 0:20 left.

Brady to Gronk for another 16, gets out of bounds. Near midfield. 0:13 left.

Eagles take their final timeout to talk this over.

Incomplete pass on first down. 0:09 left.

Next play, Brady buys time, chucks it deep, and it falls incomplete in the end zone as time expires.

THE EAGLES HAVE WON THE SUPER BOWL.

THIS ONE'S FOR PHILLY BOY ROY.

Final score: Philadelphia 41, New England 33. Nem Eagles got it done.

POSTGAME

Commercials: Scientology.

Yes, I’m curious. Where’s Shelly Miscavige? Why has nobody seen her in public in more than a decade?

Tom Brady threw for 505 yards, three touchdowns, and zero interceptions. And lost.

Brandon Graham: We are the world champions because we worked our butts off.

The Patriots punted zero times. And lost.

Collinsworth: Nick Foles was unbelievable tonight.

Trophy presentation. Darrell Green carries the Lombardi Trophy to the stage. Weird that they'd have an NFC East great who didn't play for Phiadelphia do this. Apparently he had a big game in Super Bowl XXVI. I contend that game never happened, which is a shame because the Bills were supposed to be in it.

Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie: For Eagles fans everywhere, this is for them. This is the most unique, together, group of men I've ever been around. An incredible group of men, players and coaches. Attempts to dedicate the win. Dan Patrick blows through that, but Lurie somehow gets the microphone from him and dedicates this championship to Eagles fans around the world and especially to his mom and dad.

Doug Pederson thanks Jesus. Praises his players. Has the best players in the world, loves the coaching staff and the owner. Has the best fans in the world.

Pederson: Wanted to stay aggressive with Foles. That was the plan coming in.

Ertz: No doubt that it was a touchdown. No telling what would have happened in the city of Philadelphia if it had been overturned.

Nick Foles is the MVP. Jokingly says it was just another game. His infant daughter tries to grab the microphone. Foles says he's very blessed.

Commercials: Motorola with Amazon Alexa. H&R Block. Discover Card. McDonalds. Eagles championship gear at NFLShop dot com. Xfinity.

Dungy: Foles made big plays all night, but when he needed a touchdown, he went to Ertz.

Harrison: Said Graham would make a difference on defense for the Eagles, and he made the big play late in the fourth quarter.

Bill Belichick: I obviously didn't do a good enough job coaching. We missed a lot of opportunities in the first half. Not good enough on defense. Not good enough in the kicking game.

Harrison: If the Patriots are going to come back to this game, they'll need to improve that defense. Just not enough athletes.

Dungy: Foles knows this is Carson Wentz's team, but was ready to go tonight.

Michaels and Collinsworth awkwardly fist bump.

[worthyofluv]

Side Effects of D*ck too Bomb

Many of us weren’t properly educated on sex, the purpose of it and how to responsibly and respectfully engage in it by taking into account our health and safety, our emotions, the state of the relationship and what we want to achieve from said act. In my personal experience, the area where I missed the mark the most was when it came to having a meeting of the minds with the individual I was being intimate with. In other words, my head was in one place, theirs in another. I’m a vibey person, and so I often made the mistake of making decisions based on the chemistry rather than seeing the situation for what it really was.

Allot of us never got the infamous “talk,” but instead experienced the opposite. Whether our very natural desires were repressed and never acknowledged for religious regions or personal beliefs of sex being dirty or reserved for grown folk. Or maybe our caregivers were negligent resulting in us being exploited and unprotected at a vulnerable age. Residing on either end of the spectrum can show up in the form of disconnection, impulsive behavior, and choices being made by the ego, rather than from that part of us that be knowin. That part of us that becomes diminished over time as we become distracted by the daunting tasks of adulting; our inner guide. When we don’t create the space to re-parent ourselves, cultivate our own belief systems, and get to know ourselves on an intimate level, allot of suffering can come from possessing a false narrative around sex and how we relate to it.

Growing up, I can recall moments where I’d hear things like “you better not come home with no belly.” (black parents love saying that sh*t) or being referred to as a bitch and a slut when the word got out that I wasn’t a virgin anymore. I can even recount a time when I was told that I’d only be good for laying on my back. So naturally, I experienced allot of shame, but also became quite the rebellion. (No irony there)

I was also a curvy girl all my life. So as you can imagine, there was allot of projection and shaming around my body as well. Imagine the confusion that came over me when in 6th grade, this kid approached me to tell me that his boy, J.J., wanted to let me know that he thought I was thick. I had no fuckin clue what that meant because in my world, there was something wrong with my body. I was constantly hyper sexualized in spaces where I should have been empowered, uplifted and guided. But after years of peeling back layers of shame and anger, I realized that there was no time for any of that. We were in survival mode, and we cannot be taught which was not taught to our parents. Or maybe I’ve conceptualized the whole thing in my mind as a way to cope. Either way, I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

After many years of social research, I now understand that when J.J. sent the homie over to tell me that I was thick, he was giving me a compliment and perhaps trying to use said compliment to segway into a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. That definitely went over my head. LOL

But the real reason I brought you here today is because I felt called to start a dialogue about how shame can play a role in our choices when it comes to sex. More specifically, the side effects when the D*ck is too bomb!

Let’s get into it ;)

These N***s are Actual Wizards in The Sheets

When the D*ck is too bomb, you might find yourself in a situationship for two years only for him to commit to someone else. And in an effort to reclaim what you thought was yours, you say “but I love you,” and he responds, “but I don’t love you.” (Ouch!)

D*ck too bomb might have you going back to a toxic n***a, even though you are cognitively aware that he is toxic, but you’re just hoping that he will experience a spiritual awakening and realize that you are the backwoods to his Mary Jane. Ha-ha. The joke is on you sis. He’s just not that into you. But that’s ok!

Side Note: In this context, what I mean by toxic is someone who is mentally and emotionally unavailable or someone who just isn’t into you, but rather than clearly and explicitly telling you that he doesn’t want anything too heavy, he proceeds to deal with you and your emotions in a careless manner. This is NOT for the men who are honest in their dealings with women, only for the woman to create her own agenda in an effort to get cuffed. That’s a separate conversation for a separate time. What I am describing is an individual who is unaware of himself, doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings, or someone who is manipulative. He is in it solely for his pleasure. Some might refer to what I call toxic as a fuck boy. But I digress.

Bomb D might have you responding with a sense of urgency when you get that “come thru” text, only to see a newly posted picture of him and his girl the very next day as you peruse down your Facebook timeline. (Really bro?)

You might get hoodwinked into becoming a WHOLE side chick all because the “vibe” was right. And now you gotta change your number because your goofy ass fell in love.

Great sex will have you falling for someones representative rather than who they are at the core.

Bomb D will have you ready to commit to a n***a who you haven’t taken the time to understand or even know if the two of you are truly compatible.

It’ll have you fighting baby mama’s in the middle of the street (so embarrassing) and acting a whole ass and doing things completely out of character to keep Mr. D*ck too bomb, hoping that he has a spiritual awakening and makes you his wife or whatever the fuck they do in fairy tales.

Bomb Diggity D will have you on the pill despite experiencing adverse reactions like depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and no menstrual flow, just so he can have his way with you. 

Great D*ck could potentially have you settling for crumbs when you deserve a full course meal.

D*ck too bomb will have you thinkin you wit the shits, whole time you’re just a scared little girl trying to fill a void that was created in your childhood. (Sheesh)

A word: Being crazy isn’t cute at all. It’s a waste of energy, usually towards a situation that is either out of your control, or towards something that you knew all along was occurring, but chose to remain blind. Emotional intelligence, autonomy over one’s self and the ability to use discernment is sexy.

I am not credible

I am no sexpert or relationship coach, so understand that I am only giving you my perspective from my very limited sense of perception. I have however experienced the unflattering side effects of d*ckmitization, as a result of an overwhelming amount of unworthiness and emptiness bleeding into my adolescence and adult years. My only goal here is to help someone who may not have the language to describe what they’re feeling, and to show others that we’re all fucked up in some way lol. And that when we shine a light on our flaws, they can no longer thrive in the dark crevices of our soul. I truly believe that having these difficult conversations are a fundamental part of us becoming the most authentic version of ourselves. Vulnerability actually feels kinda cool (Thanks Brene Brown)

Self-Preservation Hot Girl Style

My loves, if you find yourself in the rabbit hole of trying to seek validation and love through sexual means, than he is not the one who needs a spiritual awakening. It’s you! You are the problem, but you are also the solution. It’s time to work on you.

I encourage you to find solitude for a little while. Get acquainted with your own body. Touch yourself. Consider being celibate while you gain clarity. Seek therapy. Get in touch with your spirituality. Explore your belief systems around sex. Are you ok with casual sex? Do you need an emotional connection? Can you be friends with benefits? Or do you prefer a commitment? What are your thoughts on monogamy, cheating, marriage, kids? In what ways do you identify with your femininity or masculinity and how does that translate in the bedroom?

Make having an intimate relationship with yourself a priority so that you can navigate certain situations with more grace and less confusion. Read books, watch YouTube videos, listen to podcasts, talk to folks who been there done that. Invest in self-care practices like yoga, massages and dancing to cultivate that mind, body and spirit connection. Make loving yourself a ritual and understanding your nature a necessity. It is from this place of being grounded in who you are that you can make choices that align with your true values. We attract what we are. And when we have not taken the time to understand ourselves, we risk ending up in situations where we are disrespected, but really, we are only disrespecting ourselves. On the contrary, being self-aware can spare us allot of drama, because when we are in our power, it really doesn’t matter how bomb the D*ck is if it’s attached to someone who doesn’t value us or at the very least care about our well-being. We begin to observe his character to see if he’s worthy of our time and energy. And if he isn’t, that’s ok. We make a mental note that we’re not compatible, and we keep it moving. Cuz it really don’t even be that deep.

Pun intended.

-Divine

[avengerdragoness]

∑=MC^2 [Spencer Reid x Reader]

Requested by anon: “Could you do the anything you write on your skin appears on you your soulmates skin au with Reid”

A/N: I wasn’t too sure on what this AU was but I had it explained. I also made it so that names and places of living wouldn’t work because that would be to easy lol.

________

You didn’t really understand the whole, write on your skin and it shows up on your soulmate’s skin thing. There were limits to it and rules. Knowing that you couldn’t put down your name or where you are because it wouldn’t show on their skin.

But what you also didn’t understand was what the hell your soulmate was constantly writing on his arm or hand. So many math equations and book references. Often times people would look at it and ask what the writing was, you’d simply answer “I guess my soulmate’s a math nerd?”

Not knowing how incredibly right you were.

You’re a simple grad student. Studying to become a psychiatrist, wanting nothing more than to help people. So all this writing on your arm was a bit distracting. Did your soulmate not know about the bond? Or just not have the time to find paper?

Who knows at this point, right now you were just trying to decipher what all of it was.

Sitting in a coffee shop you stared at your arm. Examining every piece of information. Letting out a huff at the undecipherable letters and numbers, except for the formula ∑=MC^2 which you recognized from senior year physics.

Giving up you clicked the power button on your computer. The screen lighting up before turning back off again. “What the hell?” you mumbled jamming the button a couple of times. “Shit” running your hands through your hair. “No, my resume. I didn’t save it.” groaning to nobody in particular. 

“Fear not!” a voice said from beside you. It startling you. “Oh god” holding your hand to your chest. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you” A blonde woman said smiling. “I just saw you having computer troubles and I know my way around a motherboard so may I?” she gestured to your computer.

“Have at it” you pushed it toward her.

Shocked when witnessing her having it up and running within a few clicks. “What? How’d you?” reaching and moving the touch pad. Immediately saving your resume on the page. “Thank you so much! You just saved my future”

“No problem, I’m Penelope by the way” she held a hand out to you. “[F/n]” taking it while introducing yourself. Though her eyes widened at the mathematical equations and information on your arm. “Whoa” she said but soon recognized the handwriting. 

“Oh my god you need to come with me!” She began to smile excitedly. “Um okaay?” you said before grabbing your things and following her. Luckily not having any other plans that day.

Not expecting to end up inside the FBI building. “Am I allowed to be in here?” asking while following her through a hallway, to a pair of double glass doors.

“Yes, as long as you’re with me. I think.” Penelope said excitedly.

“Good morning princess” A man said coming over to you both. “Not now chocolate thunder I need to find Reid.” she held a finger to him while passing. “Um ouch” he commented catching up to you “I’m sorry who are you?” smiling at you.

“Uh [F/n], Penelope saved my computer, and told me I had to come with her here now. I’m just as confused as you are” you shrugged and he laughed. “Well that’s Garcia for ya. I’m SSA Derek Morgan, nice to meet you” offering you a hand.

“Likewise” shaking it in return. Walking into the bullpen Penelope yelled “REID!” startling you again. Damn she’s good at that.

A man looked up from his book to see the woman running over to him. “Come here” she pushed him toward you. “[F/n] meet Spencer, Spencer [F/n]” she quickly introduced you.

He smiled at you awkwardly, as you gave a simple “Hi” the other members in the area just watching confused.

“Uhh Garcia what’s going on?” Another blonde haired woman asked from her desk.

“J.J. Shh, [F/n] and Spencer are going to compare arms!” She turned back to the both of you. “COMPARE ARMS!” she yelled.

You pulled up your sleeve to reveal the writing on it. Spencer’s eyes widened before he did the same. “Boom soulmates! You’re welcome” she cheered as everyone, including you and Spencer, just stared shocked.

“Uhh” you said looking down at your arm. “Alright then. Just a few questions. What the hell is going on? What the hell is written on my arm? Are you some kind of Einstein or something? And do you want to get dinner this weekend?” your rapid tone disorienting a few of the profilers.

He processed your words for a moment before answering “Honestly couldn’t tell you. It’s a series of equations used from a case we just solved. I have an eidetic memory but that’s what some people say. And yes I would like to.”

You smiled, “Well glad that’s cleared up”

“I am as well. I look forward to getting to know you better” He smiled. Surprising all of his co-workers with his calmness.

“Did Reid just get a date?” Morgan looked at the other members confused before back at the pair of you. “Oh it’s the end times” Rossi commented before the whole team nodded.

Even a room full of profilers couldn’t decipher what just happened.

[jussara520art]

Portraits of Poirot on book covers IV

First post here. (book covers)

Second post here.  (book covers)

Third post here.  (book covers and one magazine)

Fourth post here. (magazines)

Fifth post here. (bande dessineé - french comics covers)

I need to do a exclusive gallery for SwollenHead!Poirot...

That one I know the artist! Mara McAfee - the top Portrait of Poirot is from this image:

Beautiful, isn’t?!

This one is from Mara too!

Uh?! Is Poirot FULL bald in this one?!

This collection always has Poirot in the cover as a sillhouete.

This is a brazillian collection - it brings Hercule Poirot (Agatha Christie), George Gideon (J.J. Marric), Matt Scudder (Lawrence Block), Patrick Dawlish (Gordon Ashe ) and others.

Really... Poirot is, by far, the best of them!

Ok, this one it’s not a cover, but I LOVE the “Folio Collection” art - by Andrew Davidson

Another one from the same book!

OUCH! Is that a threat?

Or maybe, in that one, is Poirot the threat?

[stxrrywildflower]

wedding

pairing - emily prentiss x reader

summary - you and emily get married

warnings - none

word count - ?

the second you and emily announced your engagement to the team, they were all over you both, asking questions about ‘where is it happening ?’ and ‘who’s invited’ just to name a few.

you had brushed it off, wanting to savor the time as a newly engaged couple and not rush into planning a wedding.

but, with autumn in just a few short months, you and emily had both expressed your mutual dream of getting married in the fall. it was the perfect weather the fall colors were absolutely gorgeous.

rossi jumped right on that idea, suggesting his house just like he has done for j.j. you both agreed, giving rossi the folder of wedding ideas you had. the senior profiler had looked through for a split second before smiling with an ‘i got this.’

with location, also food and decoration, covered, you and emily just had to focus on guest list and outfits.

the guest list was fairly easy, the team of course and then some friends and family. there were a few people you knew would either be hesitant or decline the invitation based solely on yours and emily’s relationship. however, neither of you felt super bad. all that mattered was that you were finally marrying the love of your life.

the wedding day finally arrived.

you were whisked away in the morning by j.j. and garcia, not before kissing emily goodbye. the two girls were getting you ready mid-morning and then taking emily in the afternoon. “even if the wedding is technically unconventional, it doesn’t mean we can’t keep the tradition of not seeing your significant other before the ceremony,” garcia told you. you knew not to argue with that logic.

hair and makeup were done with the style you had previously chosen. you had to admit, you looked really pretty. “oh my god emily’s going to love you even more,” j.j. spoke once she stepped back. you smiled, a light blush forming on your cheeks.

“so you still have a little bit to go before the wedding. are you getting in your dress yet?”

you shook your head no. “not yet, probably just going to keep on this,” you answered, motioning down to your sweatpants and t-shirt. the girls nodded at that.

“alright we’re going to get your soon-to-be wife and get her ready. but, to stay with you, we brought company!” j.j. exclaimed.

in walked spencer and derek, both dressed in suits, smiles already on their faces.

“you’re kidding, i get stuck with them?” you teased.

derek scoffed, “okay ouch.”

you waved penelope and j.j. off, standing up to look at yourself in the mirror once more. “we got a few hours to kill. you want to order some food?” morgan asked. “uh duh.”

meanwhile, emily sat going through the same exact process you had gone through. “i’m suprised you cut your bangs,” j.j. commented. “you are? y/n’s been very vocal about preferring em without bangs over with bangs,” garcia replied with a laugh. emily rolled her eyes at that even though it was true.

“do you think she’s going to like the pantsuit?” emily asked hopefully.

when shopping for her own outfit, emily found a silk white pantsuit she loved. the top was strapless, the bodice sheer with flowers covering the bust and around the back. the pants were high-waisted and stopped just above the angle. attached to the back of the pants was a detachable train.

“of course she will. i mean you could be wearing something way worse and y/n would still be head over heals for you,” garcia answered, zipping up the back of emily’s suit.

emily stopped, just looking at herself in the mirror for a moment. her raven black hair fell just past her shoulders, showing off one of the necklaces you had gifted her.

a sigh escaped her lips, already becoming emotional about the whole situation.

“emily?” j.j. called softly. “you ready?”

nodding, emily spun back around. “yeah, let’s go get me married.”

you were stuck with the boys helping you get ready. you slipped into your dress awhile later after kicking derek and spencer out. they returned, however, to help zip up the back.

your dress was shown to you by spencer of all people. him and derek were running around in the store like little kids, dragging their hand along the rack until they felt like stopping. the dress spencer had landed on, you fell in love with.

arriving at rossi’s the atmosphere was already happy. almost all of the guests had arrived, including emily based solely off of j.j.’s car being there was well.

spencer headed in first to alert rossi of your presence. the italian man appeared a moment later, greeting you at the car before motioning for you to head inside and up to one of the rooms to wait. it was crazy to think that emily was most likely just a few feet away and you couldn’t see her yet.

you couldn’t have waited more then ten minutes, occupying your time by sitting on the bed and scrolling through your phone. hotch came up to get you, smiling like a proud father as you walked down the stairs.

the usual traditional wedding music began. you let out one final deep breath, adjusting the flowers in your hands

the second emily grinned, tears forming in her eyes, you ducked your head down, a matching expression on your own face. all the attention added on to that as well.

you reached the end of the makeshift aisle, handing your flowers to an already crying penelope. as the officiant went on his normal opening speech, mostly greeting the guests, you turned to face emily, your hands linking in front of you.

vows were a breeze. the words of nothing but love and affection being spoken easily. emily’s were the same, emotions she hadn’t quiet desolated to you being poured out in her speech.

both of your hands shook slightly as it was time for the declaration of consent. to be honest, you zoned out during the first half, keeping your eyes focused on emily’s.

“now, do you y/n y/l/n take emily prentiss to be your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in heath, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

“i do,” you spoke.

the same speech was repeated to emily, her’s also ending with an ‘i do.’

“and now the rings?”

rossi stepped forward, digging into his suit pocket and pulling out two ring boxes. after handed them over, he sat back down.

the typical “you may now kiss one another” was spoken though you and emily were really listening. emily unlinked you’re hands before resting them on your hips, pulling you closer to connect your lips. 

cheers were heard throughout the backyard as you were pronounced wife and wife. you took emily’s hand in yours, tugging her to walk back down the aisle and to the house while the guests shifted to the ceremony area.

when you were finally away from the backyard, you hugged emily tightly.

“i don’t think i got to tell you how gorgeous you looked,” emily mumbled into your shoulder.

you let out a watery chuckle. “you too em. can you believe it? were married,” you exclaimed. “best day of my life.”

the team entered the house a few minutes later, congratulating and hugging you both. derek and penelope were already drinking champagne, offering you both glasses. for the second time, emily took your hand to lead you back outside.

deciding to start with dancing of all things, you and emily took the floor, her arm on your hip while yours rested on her lower back. your other hand, however, remained out to the side. your cheeks were pressed together, just savoring they moment.

as you and emily swayed back and forth, others dancing around you though you were only focused on her, you realized just how lucky you were.

“i love you em,” you spoke.

emily grinned, “i love you too.” with that, she pulled you closer to kiss you softly.

☆ ☆ ☆

tags - @rumplebutterbitch @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @kissessforharryyy @garcias-batcave @zoseph

[youngandhungryent]

Is ‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ An Epic Conclusion? Critics Weigh-In

Source: Walt Disney Studios / Disney

As of late, there is nothing more divisive in the movie world than a Star Wars film. Case in point, The Rise of Skywalker, the epic conclusion to Skywalker saga, is receiving mixed reactions from movie critics.

Now keep in mind the regular viewing audience hasn’t even seen the film yet. So we have yet to hear what fans of the famed movie franchise have to say. With The Rise of Skywalker, it’s quite understandable that critics are expecting a lot from J.J. Abrams. This is the final movie in the saga that spanned over 9 films that introduced iconic characters like Luke Skywalker, Princess/General Leia, Darth Vader, Han Solo, and Emperor Palpatine.

When Abrams hopped back in the director’s chair following Rian Johnson’s polarizing film The Last Jedi, he was tasked to answer many questions the previous movie created and left unanswered while trying to “correct” things. Whether he accomplished that goal, some critics believe he did and then some, while others walked away from the movie utterly disappointed.

Michael Rougeau of GameSpot called the film “A Galatic Disappointment,” placing the blame on Abrams’ inability to let go of the past and move forward while praising Johnson in the process.

“Unfortunately, The Rise of Skywalker director J.J. Abrams doesn’t seem to have fully grasped Johnson’s message in The Last Jedi–that we have to “let the past die” to move forward. Johnson sought to establish a fresh direction for the Star Wars saga, but in Rise, Abrams is interested in killing only the parts of the past that he disagrees with. Instead of continuing down the path that Johnson set, Abrams swerves the franchise into yet another hard u-turn, cramming enough story for two movies into one, and largely acting like the previous film never happened–or actively retconning it.”

“The result is a movie that feels less like the conclusion to a Star Wars trilogy, and more like the casualty of a behind-the-scenes battle between the visions of two diametrically opposed directors.”

Jake Coyle for AP News described the film as “a sour end to a grand saga” in his review of the film. He argued that whether you cared or not for Johnson’s The Last Jedi, it was worth having a discussion about unlike Abram’s The Rise of Skywalker. He writes:

“Rian Johnson’s “The Last Jedi,” an erratic but electric movie that, regardless of how you felt about it, was something worth arguing about. The same can’t be said for J. J. Abrams’ “Rise of Skywalker,” a scattershot, impatiently paced, fan-servicing finale that repurposes so much of what came before that it feels as though someone searching for the hyperspace button accidentally pressed the spin cycle instead.”

Ouch.

But, some were left very satisfied with what they saw. While pointing out The Rise of Skywalker is far from perfect, they do acknowledge the movie accomplishes its primary goal. Rafer Guzman from Newsday describes the film as a series’ conclusion that “satisfies” stating in his review:

“When the closing credits roll, you’ll be forgiven if you breathe a sigh of relief. The franchise has ended; your childhood has not been wrecked. The “Star Wars” films are not really over, anyway — just on “hiatus,” per Disney — which means the dead will surely speak again.”

Adi Robertson of The Verge in her breakdown of the film says The Rise of Skywalker is entertaining from beginning to end and captures the essence of the film franchise during its high points but feels there are still many questions left.

“There’s plenty of spectacle and space-fighting to keep The Rise of Skywalker entertaining. Minute to minute, it’s an enjoyable movie. And at its brightest points, it captures Star Wars at its best. But Abrams just hasn’t pared down the bombast enough to keep his story grounded — and with the trilogy at its end, it’s strange to be left with as many new questions as resolutions.”

Now, as to what we thought of The Rise of Skywalker, we loved it. The plot of this film, which can be described as a galactic scavenger hunt, takes shape immediately.

Unlike The Last Jedi, Rey, Chewbacca, Finn, Poe, and the droids come together one last time for a high stakes epic adventure against time to thwart dire consequences.

Source: Walt Disney Studios / Disney

We learn immediately that Emperor Palpatine is back. As with all villains, he describes that his crusty lightning bolt emitting fingertips have been shaping the futures of Rey and Kylo Ren all this time despite us believing he met his fate after getting tossed down a shaft. From there, it’s a nonstop ride with full-circle moments that should induce smiles, generates oohs, and ahhs, as well as make long-time Star Wars fans shed a tear or two.

Source: Walt Disney Studios / Disney

Burning questions are answered, the puzzle pieces fit nicely, and the door is still wide open for new stories to be told revolving around the new characters. Plus, the lightsaber action and new force abilities — which will probably spark debate among hardcore fans — were on point. The best part, though, is getting to say goodbye to our favorite Star Wars characters.  General Leia, whose appearance in the film felt like a tribute every time she appeared due to Fisher’s passing,  Luke Skywalker, Chewbacca, and Billy Dee Williams’ Lando Calrissian, who is still smooth as ever.

The Rise of Skywalker is a fitting end to the legendary Skywalker saga. We can only imagine where the franchise will go now that it’s on hiatus, we are sure they can think of some new places to take it when it does return.

—

Photo: Walt Disney Studios / Disney

source https://hiphopwired.com/832335/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-review/

[ismael37olson]

On and On and On It Goes

I've been watching a lot of film noir lately, to get me in the right mindset for polishing Sweet Smell of Success. A few things I've noticed -- in almost all of them, there's a fundamentally corrupt, or at least unfair, world as a backdrop, almost everything happens at night, and there's usually a moment in which an otherwise innocent person makes the fateful decision to also lie, cheat, or otherwise manipulate. All those thing are present in Sweet Smell. And the cultural backdrop is almost as vivid a character as the four leads. For a while, mid-century, Americans devoured gossip about famous people more ferociously than at any other time before or since. Sure, that's always been a part of our culture, but there was a "Golden Age." The story of Sweet Smell of Success is a very personal story, among just four people, of love, jealousy, greed, and ego. But underpinning the story is a moral and structural underbelly that makes this story unique, exploring the freaky barter system that fueled those mid-century gossip columns. That system is the "Underworld" that our heroes must learn to navigate. And it worked like this: Say you're a 1950s press agent. You make money by finding clients to represent, they pay you a regular fee, and you get them mentioned in the newspapers; and the best mention of all is one of the nationally syndicated "Broadway" (i.e., New York) gossip columnists. The king of those was Walter Winchell, only thinly veiled as the character J.J. Hunsecker in Sweet Smell of Success. The price of getting your client mentioned favorably in a gossip column is a nasty, preferably scandalous, or at least witty, piece of gossip about someone else. You rat somebody else out, your client gets the prize. Or the way Sidney and the other press agents explain it in our show:

Sidney: A press agent works for a client. Press Agents: Yup! Sidney: A press agent likes to eat. Agents: You bet! Sidney: The client says, “Get me in J.J.” Agents: J.J.! Sidney: The press agent feels the heat. Agents: Ouch! Sidney: J.J. says, “What’ll you give me?” Here's where you crawl like a bug... All: Just give him dirt, Make it hurt, He gives your client a plug.

Just listen to J.J.'s secretary Madge take his calls:

Madge: (answering the phone) J.J. Hunsecker… Press Agent: Madge, any space tonight? Madge: Depends on what you got. Press Agent: The Democratic presidential nominee? Madge: What did you find out? Press Agent: Tell J.J. his divorce papers are sealed. Madge: (To J.J.) Adlai Stevenson's divorce papers are sealed. J.J.: Why? Madge: (To Press Agent) Why? Press Agent: Give me time -- he'll mention the Blue Angel? Madge: Find out more and J.J. loves the Blue Angel. (picks up another line) J.J. Hunsecker…

And the result sounds like (also quoting from the show):

Kay Thompson and the Williams Brothers packing 'em in at the Persian Room ... Those rumors about Lena Home just won't quit ... Grace Kelly, fresh off High Noon, making yet another married movie star regret he ever said love, honor and oh the hell with it … Advice to a certain polo-playing playboy after the brawl at P.J. Clark’s last night. Learn the difference between men and pigs. Pigs don't tum into men when they drink … Talking of tippling: Dean Martin confessing at The Stork Club that he sees a psychiatrist once a week to help him stop drinking. It's working. Every Tuesday from three to four, he stops drinking ... Item: Libby James, TV glamazon, at Toni's Caprice with married Wall Street biggie. She's learning the hard way that girls get minks the same way minks get minks ... Question in Washington: Will Truman resign before he's impeached? Treason's never a pretty picture ... Ava Gardner is finding out that when hubby Frank Sinatra sends her flowers for no reason, there's a reason ...

That's the universe in which our dark, fierce, adult fable takes place. I keep thinking about that famous review quote of the original Pal Joey in 1940, "Although it is expertly done, can you draw sweet water from a foul well?" Yes, you could in 1940 and you can now. It makes me think of a conversation I had last night at rehearsal with Matt Pentecost, who's playing Sidney for us. We've both seen the movie, and Matt was feeling a little unsure since he was going in a somewhat different direction than Tony Curtis did. Matt's Sidney is not irredeemably sociopathic as he was in the film; this Sidney is more needy and weak. He's not fundamentally evil, just without any discernible moral foundation, like no one ever bothered to teach him the basics of right and wrong. In the film, Sidney is as big a monster as J.J. is. In the show, Sidney is just a two-bit hustler, trapped by his ambition and his lust for power. But unlike the film, the stage musical allows Sidney some flashes of self-awareness which arguably make his tragedy even worse. The difference, of course, is the music. In the film, any emotions these broken people felt were fully submerged, subtextual. But because music is an abstract language, it conveys emotion more powerfully than words can, and so the musical theatre is an inherently emotional storytelling form. Sweet Smell of Success as a musical can explore those dark, complex emotions directly, and a song like "At the Fountain" can give us empathy for a character like Sidney that wasn't possible in the movie. Here's a piece of Sidney's big Act I solo, the introspective "At the Fountain," in which he ponders his luck at becoming J.J.'s new best friend...

Hey Sidney, you finally found some luck... You've always been an also-ran Just racing for a buck; A guy with a smile, A way with a word, Quick with a joke We've already heard. Y'ever hear the one about Lana Turner? Sittin' at the soda fountain, Dreamin' her soda fountain dreams? But there was something he could see For just a moment; It's like he saw inside of me What's really there – What I was, What I am, What I'll be… Maybe I'm at the fountain, Maybe I'm at the start; It's time to step up and drink And not even think; You don't have to think to be smart. Sometimes the perfect timing Feels like a work of art, 'Cause it can bring you your break And answer the ache; He offers, you take The part...

More so than the movie ever does, this helps us understand why Sidney goes along with everything J.J. wants. That's some really strong character writing from lyricist Craig Carnelia, and coupled with Marvin Hamlisch's lush, soaring music, it's a powerfully emotional moment. It's almost impossible not to feel something for Sidney here. And then he destroys some lives.

And that's a big part of what makes this moral thriller so much fun. If you're not careful, Sidney will charm you too. I guess it's sort of like The Music Man, only this time the scoundrel isn't just ripping off honest small town people using their kids as bait; this time, somebody's apt to get killed. I realized as we've worked on this show that the central conflict of the show is not exactly what it appears to be. The real conflict isn't about jealousy or power; it's about empathy. J.J. and Sidney are so broken, so damaged, they can't imagine how someone else feels, they can't put themselves in someone else's shoes. And that makes it really easy to destroy people. Recent brain research suggests that if a child doesn't get enough physical affection in the first years of life, they won't properly develop the pre-frontal cortex in their brain, the area which controls empathy. J.J. and Sidney aren't just cruel; they're incapable of feeling empathy. In the original short story, Susan says to Sidney, "We love each other in a way that you and J.J. could never understand." She's absolutely right. There's so much complexity and depth to these characters, and the writing is exceptional. Our music director Jeff Carter calls it the "wittiest and wickedest" book he's ever worked on. And then there's the amazing music and lyrics... And this superb cast of ours...! You gotta see this show. It's genuinely extraordinary, a real roller coaster ride, and when will you ever get another chance to see it...? Long Live the Musical! Scott from The Bad Boy of Musical Theatre http://newlinetheatre.blogspot.com/2017/05/on-and-on-and-on-it-goes.html

[buddyrabrahams]

Rick Carlisle drops savage line about Mavs’ ball-handlers

Rick Carlisle’s acid tongue has struck again.

Speaking with the media after practice Saturday, the Dallas Mavericks head coach was asked about undrafted rookie guard Yogi Ferrell, who just signed a 10-day contract with the team, and proceeded to roast the Mavs’ ball-handlers in the process.

“Yogi is one of the guys high on the call-up list in the D-League, so we’ll take a good hard look at him and he’ll get some minutes here,” Carlisle said, per Dwain Price of the Dallas Star-Telegram. “We need him because we need guys that can get the ball over half court.”

“Ouch,” Deron Williams, J.J. Barea, Seth Curry, and Devin Harris must have said together in unison.

In fairness, the Mavericks are 16-30 on the year, and that’s probably come at the expense of Carlisle’s chill (as we have already seen this season). For his sake, let’s hope Ferrell doesn’t let Carlisle down.

H/T NBA Reddit

from Larry Brown Sports http://ift.tt/2jDy3zd

[stxrrywildflower]

red cell (2)

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - a break in the case causes spencer to contemplate some things

warnings - mentions of case, cursing

word count ?

note - this part really isn’t that great but i promise part three and maybe four will be a lot better :)

part 1

part 3

you and spencer turned towards gina and mick.

mick tossed a notebook on the table while gina tossed an actual case file.

“this whole town is filled with washed up actors and actresses. i talked to at least ten people who went to or dropped out of acting school. that doesn’t help our theory that the unsub was someone who was desperate to become famous but it never happened,” gina revealed.

the four of you stood around, each in your own thoughts about the case.

“well i’m going to head down to the police station to talk to jonathan and sam. figured i should bring this information to the other team as well,” mick piped up.

“i’ll go too,” spencer added on.

mick soon left to go get the car while spencer gathered the scattered papers on the table. “i should go,” he spoke.

“bye spencer,” you smiled. he waved one final time before heading towards the stairs and exiting the room.

you kept a smile to yourself as you went over to one of the computers set up, wanting to look at the crime scene photos one more time.

“oh my god,” gina gasped. your eyes darted up at your friend in front of you. “what?” you quickly asked. “you think he’s cute!” she explained. you rolled your eyes but a blush managed to creep to your cheeks.

“you do!” she practically squealed.

“i mean how could you not,” you simply responded. gina scoffed jokingly, “some of us are already in a relationship.”

you shot a grin at her before going back to typing on your computer.

spencer and mick entered the police station. the team quickly turned to the two as they entered the conference room. “there’s a ton of people in this town who failed out of becoming famous,” spencer announced.

mick went on to talk about his findings to everyone. spencer, meanwhile, went over to the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup and adding sugar. derek sauntered over, leaning against the table and looking at the younger agent.

“so how’s y/n,” morgan practically smirked.

spencer continued to stir his coffee, “what do you mean?” morgan chucked slightly. “come on pretty boy, i saw how you two looked at each other. don’t act like you didn’t blush when she mentioned reading your papers.”

spencer rolled his eyes. “i’ve known her for literally four hours,” the genius spoke. “well you know what they say, love at first sight,” with that, morgan moved so he was sitting at the table, not before sending spencer a wink.

....

in the next three days, the red cell and bau team had barely any leads. no new bodies were found making it difficult to narrow down the suspect pool.

the local cops were becoming increasingly frustrated resulting in lack of help to the two teams. instead of doing their meetings at the police station, everyone has decided to meet back at the red cell base.

there, everyone was doing different things.

jonathan and mick were typing away at the computers, desperately trying to find out anything more they could. hotch, sam, and rossi were standing around one of the tables. gina and j.j. were looking at the victims, trying to find a physical connection between the victims while emily and derek were looking at the bulletin board. finally, you and spencer were sitting on top of the main table. he was drumming his fingers as his eyes darted over the crime scene photos. you, on the other hand, were reloading your gun and sharpening your knives.

sam has told you earlier that he may need you to go out on the streets and get information. you wanted to be prepared.

the phone ringing on the table snapped everyone out of their thoughts. the phone was only for emergencies, not used for tip lines or cell phones. even garcia knew not to call the number. you hesitantly leaned forward and pressed the ‘answer button’.

“hello?” hotch spoke.

“i want to talk to agent y/n,” the unidentified voice on the other end replied. your face visibly paled. you look toward sam, who nodded simply. you leaned forward slightly. “i’m here.”

“may i ask, what’s the closet weapon to you on your left? don’t bother lying, i can already see it,” the man on the other end said.

your eyes darted to the left where on a workbench, layed a modern day battle axe. it was a sleek black color, with extra bars connecting the spike to the handle, almost like the one they used in the hunger games movies. “it’s an axe,” you spoke tentatively.

“perfect. meet me at the square off of south street in one hour. if not, the girl goes,” presumably the unsub on the other end informed you.

once again, hotch stepped in. “girl? what girl?” he asked. the unsub, however, ignored his question.

“i want to fight against agent y/n and here are the rules. you get that axe and only that axe. if you bring anything else, the girl dies. if your team shows up, the girl dies. are you begining to sense a common theme here? but alas, there is a silver lining. if you win, my partner let’s the girl go. and even if i win and manage to kill you first, the girl still gets let go. regardless, it’s a win-win for your team. one hour agent y/n, don’t be late,” with the unsub’s final taunt, the line went dead.

you jumped off of the table and moved over to the workbench. you grabbed the axe, tossing it between your hands, trying to ignore the two teams arguing slightly. you then went over to the sharpener, slowly moving the blade back and forth to sharpen it.

once you were done, you looked at everyone in the room. unsurprisingly, sam was the first one to speak up, “y/n we can’t have you go.” you shook your head. “i don’t show, the girl dies. i’ll be fine,” you replied.

“this guy is asking you to verse him with an axe. you can’t just do that,” hotch’s exclaimed.

you held your hand out as to make everyone stop talking. you looked forward at the target in front of you. as you narrowed your eyes at the target, the room quickly fell silent. one hand was up, pointing at the bullseye that stood 25 feet away, while the other was clutching the axe at your side.

after taking a three-step approach, with all your strength, you launched that axe at the target. a satisfying crack echoed as the axe hit the bullseye, cracking the target.

you slightly smirked to yourself before making your way over to the practically destroyed target and pulling the axe from it, wood falling to the ground as you did so. “still don’t think i can do this?” you asked as you turned around to face the teams.

everyone’s expressions varied, mostly looking shocked. except for spencer who was smiling and mouthed a ‘woah’ at you. you subtly winked at him before placing the weapon back on the table.

for the next 45 minutes, you went over your orders from hotch and sam as well as sparred with morgan. you were to first, try and talk the unsub down, and second, fight. obviously, you weren’t supposed to kill the man if you didn’t have to, but instead injure him. morgan had ran though different scenarios with you. everyone in the room knew you didn’t really need them, but it was good practice, none the less.

finally, it was time for you to go. you took off your jacket, leaving you in a white t-shirt, jeans, and your combat boots. the axe was strapped to your thigh with an easy holster that would allow you to remove it quickly. you quickly styled your hair so that it wouldn’t be in your face.

you turned to spencer, who seemingly hadn’t moved from where he was sitting. “good luck,” spencer spoke as he held up his hand in a fist. “at least look like you’re going to see me again,” you replied with a slight smile, bumping your fist against his. with that, you exited the room and began your short walk to the square.

all the two teams could do was wait, fully geared up and watching on computer screens. the second the fight went south for either of you, they would be at the square. the quality of the video was surprisingly well for the square being in such a secluded part of the city.

derek and gina made eye contact quickly before making their way over to where spencer stood, towards the back of the room but close enough to watch the screens. “so kid, you going to ask her out when she gets back?” morgan asked with a smirk. “you two would practically be perfect for each other,” gina added.

“really? i mean she’s a textbook badass and then i’m just me,” spencer replied, laughing slightly.

“so what kid? opposites attract.”

spencer turned to morgan, slapping him on the shoulder. “ouch!” morgan exclaimed. “what? you insulted me,” spencer responded. the older agent rolled his eyes. “whatever kid.”

“yeah she does look like the classic confident and bold agent but she’s it’s really just an act. she is one of the most kind and genuine people i have ever met. just know reid, she’s into you too,” gina told him before walking away.

spencer sat, mouth slightly open. you liked him too? the two of you had known each other for all of four days. but morgan’s words slowly creeped into the back of his mind. the genius shook his head before moving to stand in front of the monitor which was about to display the fight.

[junker-town]

John Wall and Marcin Gortat met to settle their beef, per report

The Wizards’ point guard met with his center to try and settle things down between the two.

There’s drama outside of the White House in D.C., too. John Wall is out until, at least, mid-March after going through a midseason knee surgery and he’s also got a bit of beef with the team’s starting center.

Wall and Marcin Gortat had to have a mutual sit-down to air out their grievances with one another, according to a report from ESPN’s Chris Haynes. It all started after Wall went down with a knee injury and the Wizards beat the Raptors.

Gortat and Wall have been teammates for four years and have flourished alongside one another on the court. But off the court, they haven’t always seen eye to eye and it all came to a head in recent weeks. Here’s how.

Gortat started things off with a “tweet”

The Wizards were dominant without Wall in two straight wins against the Raptors and the Thunder. They moved the ball well throughout both games and had a well-balanced attack. That prompted Gortat to tweet this.

Unbelievable win tonight ! Great "team" victory!

— Marcin Gortat (@MGortat) February 2, 2018

Normally, that’s a fine tweet. But some, including Wall, took issue with Gortat’s tweet just two games after Wall went down. Specifically, because the word team was in quotation marks.

Wall responded to that tweet with an “Lol.”

YOOOO!!!! pic.twitter.com/kcsJJBSUPr

— Martin Gorthot (@Twenty2Savage) February 2, 2018

That’s spicy!

Wall doubled down by embarrassing his teammate on National TV

Wall was making the rounds in the media before the All-Star break doing scheduled appearances on behalf of one of his endorsers, so of course the beef between he and Gortat would be brought up.

Instead of squashing things there, Wall doubled down and went at Gortat for his tweet saying he gives the Wizards’ center “spoon-fed baskets.”

John Wall on ESPN just said “funny hearing Gortat talking when he gets the most spoon-fed easiest baskets cause of him” pic.twitter.com/U3zOdCCu2x

— Sigh (@Groovy_Ky) February 6, 2018

“It’s more just shocking to hear that from [Gortat], understanding that he gets the most assists from me — the most spoon-fed baskets ever,” Wall said.

Ouch. That’s got to hurt.

But he isn’t necessarily wrong — Wall has assisted on 68 of Gortat’s 210 makes this season despite being hurt. Still, that’s not something that should be said about a teammate. Especially not when the cameras are on.

This supports the narrative that Wall’s teammates might not like him

The Wizards have seemed just fine without him, winning six of their last eight games since he went down. Normally, it’d be considered a good thing for a team to win without it’s best player.

But after J.J. Barea said Wall’s teammates don’t like him and Wall himself told reporters a team meeting didn’t go well, it lead some to question how good the Wizards were with Wall. Plus, once he went down the team started moving the ball more, averaging 314 passes per game and 30.4 assists per game without him. With him, they averaged 281.9.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that the Wizards are better without Wall. When a shot creator goes down, the ball moves better — that’s happened throughout the league’s history. And Wall’s teammates liked him just fine earlier this season when he bought them all Rolex watches.

But this still isn’t a great look for him, the Wizards or Gortat. That’s why a sit-down between the two was necessary and, hopefully, productive. If not, the Wizards could be in for a long second half of the season.