#(that doesnt make any sense but u get the idea)
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mintypsii · 1 year ago
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not a part 2, but here's a prequel to this sanuso comic I did last month !!! (takes place the night before ,, technically after the first three panels)
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darabeatha · 4 months ago
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/ Okokokiedokiearchiedokie I'll be trying to cut back to my regular fate shenanigans to not flood up the dash, but thank u all for entertaining the silliness even when we are not in april's fools OITRUOTURTU
#;ooc#ooc#tho this made me realize how much i missed actually writing and#not having to be so obsessed over being overly poetical or stressing about symbolism#as well of whether what i write would work to form a dynamic that 100% works with the other character- sometiems characters clash !#trying to come up with the most suitable blorbo to put in x situation#when it could be just whatever guy and the resultbe up to however that develops#sometimes the chemistry is justnot there and thats perfectly fine! i tend to worry about that so much#on the other hand; sometimes one just wants to write a guy being a silly guy and thats pretty much it!#i missed that feeling in rp! well not in rp as in community wise but more so in my personal regard and how i handle my blogs#i always take rping soooo seriously!! as if it was my job! that is why i always take aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages to reply#im simply too much of a perfectionist and i want everything to fit the way i imagined and get frustrated when I cant convey the emotion#im trying to put on the table; be it because of struggles with sentence structure or bad English days or etc#either way; i'll try to adapt that spontaneity back to my most current blogs lil by lil#so i can as well enjoy it from my end#because do not get me wrong i absolutely love reading u guy's replies; makes my day! get me giggly!#SO YEAH!#i'll be having my separate h.etalia blog so its easier to just pick ur fruits and vegetables#just like with all my other non f.ate blogs; like my j.ojos my h.sr ones; my swords ; etc they all have their lil ... whats the word-#world (?)#anyways live love laugh a.rjuna#(that doesnt make any sense but u get the idea)
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dallonwrites · 2 years ago
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reblogs off bc i dont want to start Conversations based on other peoples posts but re the whole "who is in control you or the character" question, i find it SO interesting because it's by letting myself discovery write that I (for me personally disclaimer) found the perfect balance between intuition and intention. which to preface "intution" is the easiest way to describe how the inside of my writers brain feels bc often i just get vivid characters/stories/images/scenes with little control at first and i have to figure out what they mean. anyway discovery writing is what works for my brain to make intentional decisions because i need to be amidst a draft to get the Story Cogs working, whenever i try to outline before a draft it's always been just throwing things at a wall bc it feels too far away, but because im also using the discovery element to do that it's like. that's where i think the whole i feel like my characters reveal themselves to me comes from. because im always discovering small bits about them even if i've written them for years just but because discovery writing is also what prompts me to be intentional about writing as i write something it's like both are happening at the same time. so the whole "who's in control" it's like...i don't think control is the right word for me at all because its not Me or the Character it's me trying to understand the character to understand + then write my intentions. like neither me or the character are in the drivers seat because there's no car we are in the middle of the story forest and at first i won't know what it means at all except that it is a Story. and my character will start going one way and sometimes i'll follow and pay attention to where they're taking me to figure out if this is the right path/where to go next. and sometimes i'll figure out how to read the compass first and realise i need to drag their ass in another direction
#anyway i just thought this was interesting because i used to think i needed to outline to be intentional/in control of my story#but outlines are too distant for me to feel like im in control so thats why theyre more organisational than creative for me#whilst we're infodumping on process i also dont like the whole are characters Like Real People or just Story Tools#like yes my characters are tools for the story just like how the story is a tool for demonstrating my characters#like again i dont think its one or the other for me#but i treat them as very 'real' (which this can be another tangent in itself) and intuitive is the best way to describe how i process them#but that doesnt mean there isnt intention and control you know#like the reason i describe my characters and stories as 'real' to me is simply bc they are very vivid in my brain#and that vividness often expands the bounds of the story#i want to go on the 'real' tangent the weight of that word one day#i think this makes sense if u know that for me i rarely get 'ideas' i get images#and characters/relationships#and i have to figure out what that means as a story#also no i dont think you need 'intuition' bc thats just the word i use for myself but i do think you need to understand#how intention works w your writing process and what it means for you to be intentional and what helps you be intentional#and sometimes that will be not considering any form of 'intuition' at all#beloved writeblrs i think i need to launch the dallonwrites substack i cant be doing these tag essays anymore!! i need to expand!!! someone#give me a podcast
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iknowyuu · 10 months ago
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helloooo i was wondering if you could do a fanfic where the reader is clumsy please? like girl is so clumsy that even sieun gotta hold her mf hand so she doesnt fall like damnn... BUT YEA i hope this is a good idea 😕anyways i hope u have a good day, remember to not overwork yourself much okay? <33
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kdrama! sieun x reader
// read req! around 1k words
note: shaki my fave. this ask is probably a year old LMFAOO, pero espero que disfrutas anyway !!!
daily click to help palestine and other important causes!
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any outsider who happened to be looking into your life- whatever god that’s out there, whatever mysterious force that’s looking, controlling you like you were a sim had to be getting a laugh. in fact, they had to have been steadily laughing for at least a year now.
and for god’s sake, “ouch!” is not your favorite word!!
these thoughts ran through your head just as you bumped into the doorframe as you were attempting to enter your classroom. none of your classmates even looked up at the noise. they were all so used to your clumsiness that it became a daily routine. it was like a little warning that there was ten minutes left before class.
you make your way to your seat, pouting with your arms crossed. you don’t blink or move, even as the boy who sat beside you placed an ice pack on your desk. “thank you.” you mumble begrudgingly, placing it on your elbow.
sieun was like that, too— well, not the never-ending confusion in your balance as well as perception, causing you to constantly trip over invisible matter (air). it’s the consistency. every time you walked home from school together, you would trip over a pebble. every time the two of you were in the lunch line, you’d drop your money, trying to count exact change. i think you get the idea; he was like you in a sense that he expected it.
at lunch, you would constantly complain to sieun about it, telling him the amount of bruises or cuts you'd gotten that day. "sieunnnn," you'd draw out through your attractive pouty lips, sitting down at your usual table, waiting for suho and young-yi to arrive. "look at the paper cut i got. you'd think that my skin would've developed a thicker skin after the amount of times i've nearly died," you say dramatically. "it's so annoying.." you sigh, absentmindedly grabbing a hand of his, playing with his fingers. you sit next to him, placing an arm on the table, and laying your head on your arm, staring up at him.
he didn't say anything, only staring at the way you played with his fingers. he tried not to pay attention to the way you gave him butterflies, and from the way he only gets it from your touch. "it's so unfair. how come this never happens to you.." you ask dejectedly, bringing his fingers towards your lips. "or suho... or young-yi.." you mumble, kissing each of the pads of his fingers, before teasingly blowing at his pinky.
he snatched his hand from you embarrassedly, looking away with a deep blush on his face. "its your fault. you need to pay more attention where you're going."
you scoff. "my fault? are you serious? you know, i was never like this before i met you." you sat up. "it's your fault. maybe if you stopped looking at me with those eyes, stopped hanging around me, stopped looking so cute, and stopped living in my mind i'd be able to finally live my life pain-free." you say, heaving a heavy sigh just as you spotted your friends walking towards the table. the words that had just left your mouth instantly left your consciousness when you waved at them, giggling at the stupid face suho was making.
sieun, though, did not move. instead, he sat there, blushing and thinking.
yes, it's true. ever since the big-eyed introvert entered your life, you suddenly became less and less aware of your surroundings, yet more and more aware of the way sieun's hair would stick up in certain places after you ruffled it. or, even how the tip of his ears would light up red after you complimented him.
he didn't pay you (or anyone else) any mind at all when he was a school-obsessed nerd, but now that he has a social life for once, he was beginning to realize that you only treat him like this. you did not kiss the tips of suho's fingers, nor did you hold the waist of young-yi. it was only him.
these thoughts plagued his mind as the school day came and went, and as per usual, the two of you were walking home together. the sunset was just approaching, and the whole city was bathed in a golden hue, reflecting off of every surface to be found. the two of you walked side by side.
"sorry."
"what?" you turned to look at sieun with curiosity. "sorry for what?"
"for being the one who distracts you all the time. you always get hurt because of me." he says, looking down at the ground as the two of you continue walking.
"sieun.. i was just jo-" he interrupted you, "i should take responsibility for my actions." he said, boldly grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him, just narrowly saving you from bumping your shoulder into a pole.
"o-oh." you say. for once, you were the one who was embarrassed. it didn't last long though, as you giggled softly you interlaced your fingers with his. you miss the way he squeezes your hand, looking away with a faint smile on his face.
"it's about time." you whisper, looking down with a smile that was the opposite of his. noticeable and wide.
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strangeaxel · 4 months ago
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If you want requests!! I honestly would love to see what your artistic interpretation is on Isaac's (? P1) day to day life looks like.. what does this guy get up to
I tried, it's like it's him talking about himself on his diary and some stuff he does and observations he makes, i hope u like it, at least enjoy the art ;-;
(i got really excited when i read this request because
1) is a request (plz everyone send more stuff u would like me to draw)
2) i loved the idea soo much!!!!!!!!!! AAAA)
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(Sorry for any spelling mistakes, missing letters or stuff just not making sense at all, my brain doesnt work that well sometimes (isaac kinnie/hj) and it's also pretty late rn, i get really insecure writing)
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hencheri · 4 months ago
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dhdjjdjfj okieee cuz i need heeseung more than i need air. or wtv the hoes say /lh. i can’t be coherent ever but especially when it comes to him he makes me so fucking mad /pos
ok but like. trying not to be tooo vague but i feel like he’d be mean just for the sake of being mean. i’m not sure if this is how u see him or not… n feel free to disagree ofc!!! but i love the idea of him purposefully taunting u and humiliating u. i’m wondering i guess… if i were to actually ask smth and not just ramble. in what scenarios do u think noncon would likely occur with him? tell me if this doesnt make any sense :(
i see him in so many ways like. def frat boy noncon, putting smth in ur drink at a party, u made it easy for him, n he’s going to share u with his friends cuz ur slutty pussy is just too good to keep to himself. i’ve also thought about like street racer/biker hee and ur a rival competitor n he thinks racing against a girl is beneath him n u should be taught a lesson about where ur place is. taking a man’s cock n the only words coming out of ur mouth should be his name. i just. think heeseung doesn’t take no for an answer. /pos. thank u for coming to my ted talk /lh
▸ 18+ mdni. | warnings: noncon, drugging.
no i can definitely see him mean! like it's just natural to heeseung, but he's particularly harsh with you... maybe you're not very smart and it drives him MAD. he just can't get his head around the fact that someone can be so dumb and he can't help but be mean to you because damn, you deserve it. i feel like he would scoff and roll his eyes at everything you say, and when you notice it you immediately feel embarrassed and stop talking so much. heeseung just has this effect... like you really want him to appreciate you, but unfortunately for you, he kinda dislikes you.
omg, frat boy!heeseung sharing you... he hates you, but he's so attracted to you and you just bring out his bad side so easily. he puts something that makes you so sleepy in your drink, he pretends to be worried, taking you upstairs to his room, but little do you know, his friends are coming as well... probably only jake and jungwon because they'd be into that lol, using you for literally so long, and you can't fight back, too tired :/ but my sick side wants heeseung to spare you when comes his turn, feeling too guilty, leaving you absolutely destroyed in his bed.
racer!heeseung makes me think of car sex and... i can just imagine him forcing himself on you in a dark alleyway, his car parked in the mud, rain pouring... the front of your body is sprawled on the backseats, wrists locked together behind your back with one of his hands, pounding into you from behind. he gets all of his frustration out because how dare you think you're better than him? your place is at his feet, serving him and ready for him to use how he pleases.
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menofprogress · 5 months ago
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I saw someone say that Viktor constantly reaching out to Jayce and trying to get him on his side after he initially left him and after Jayce fought, rejected and shot at him makes no sense but i disagree.
Imho jayce and viktor are incredibly, INSANELY codependent, they were each others closest contact for nearly a decade, saw each other every day, single mindedly worked towards the same goal, etc. Their lives immediately take a nosedive once theyre even slightly separated from each other (viktor nearly dies, jayce kills a kid, viktor atomises sky and then nearly kills himself, jayce lands in apocalypse land and viktor starts a cult). They instinctively always act like theyre still partners, even when theyre clearly supposed to be enemies because not being together feels unnatural to them.
Jayce doesnt act consciously when reviving viktor using the hexcore and YES viktor is hurt and distressed bc he was essentially turned into rio and he feels like he needs to leave, but then what? He probably finds out about jayces disappearance a few days later and is like "oh no, oh fuck, i know I left HIM, but i didnt want this" i mean he probably thought jayce was dead.
So for a few months he builds his commune and deliberately integrates sentimental things about his and jayces partnership (his 'home' looks like the hexgates, hes still wearing the blanket, for some reason theres a forge in the commune) which, imho, shows hes mourning and missing jayce in his own way. (A special personal hc of mine is that he grew out his hair out of grief). And in the pit we have jayce sobbing and crying bc he misses both mel and viktor so much.
So jayce reappears and viktors like "heeeyyyy bestie, oh my god, i missed u come visit me!!!" And jayce is rightfully confused like "didnt YOU break up with ME?" and viktor is like "nooo, hahaha, i was crazy back then, just forget about it, pls visit me?" And is only mildly concerned by jayce killing one of his followers (and then hes also mostly concerned about jayce, not salo lol)
Then jayce arrives and shoots him and its very painful bc viktor fully didnt expect jayce to hurt him! Hes so shocked 😭
Anyways after that Viktor "attacks" (more like "does a mating dance for") jayce in the council room and AGAIN asks him to join his emo band and is AGAIN shocked and hurt when jayce genuinely fights back and rejects him. Viktor is temporarily hurt and gives singed the ok to start the process.
And then as the fully transformed herald he STILL talks about how happy he is to see jayce and doesnt really put any effort into neutralising him. Like he could have just shot him hbxhnxgkhfj
All the while we have jayce talking big talk about stopping viktor, but when it comes down to it?? He doesnt manage to take him out and still talks to him. And then he sees Viktor in the astral realm and once there is a SLIVER of hope hes immediately like "oh thank god i can stop trying to kill him, this was never going to work"
All of this isnt contradictory to me. It means that both of them actually know that they should be on opposing sides now, they start acting according to the idea that the other one is now an enemy, they make plans accordingly, but when it comes down to it theyre reluctant to actually follow through bc that would mean a life without the other and thats worse than staying enemies forever.
Viktor kept reaching out, hoping to be partners again after MULTIPLE rejections and jayce couldnt bear to kill viktor or to let him die alone. Being apart from each other is quite literally the worst thing for either of them, so the instinct to reach out to each other will always take over.
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esotericbluntbaby · 5 months ago
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heya! just thought of some angst hehe
hamzah and reader are out and about and reader keeps getting hit on by dudes (some shes aware of, like a guy is filrty so she just uses him for drinks for her and hamzah, some shes oblivious to) since this is hamzah's first relationship, he doesnt really know how to act. he thinks hes just overthinking it since you've shown no interest in any of the guys thats tried to hit you up, but slowly it starts to consume him, what if you leave him for anothrr guy? he knows hes pretty akward at times and thinks u could probably do better than him
it gets to a point where the once goofy hamzah turns to him just being quiet all the time. u try asking him abt it but he doesnt really say, embarrased about the way he feels. it gets to a point where u wake up in the middle of the night to hear him talking to martin abt how he feels
then u confront him and stuff then boom comfort!! all is well!!!!!
superrrr sorry if its a long request, i just felt pretty imaginative today 😔✊️
eavesdropping troubles
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hamzahthefantastic x reader
description: the reader, oblivious to hamzah's insecurity, accidentally eavesdrops on a conversation between him and martin.
mentions: angst, insecurity, she/her pronouns, happy ending, sfw!
i love love love this idea <3
--
hamzah's emotional state was currently in shambles.
when he met you, his old friends hinted that you were out of his league; though they aren't in his life anymore due to them leeching off of his energy and fame, the insecurity they brought into your relationship played with the folds of his brain. it was like they somehow were able to stick their fingers in the crevices of every memory, thought, and idea he had gotten and tainted it, similar to how wine stains tablecloth and isn't able to be washed out.
he knew you were attractive. actually, he didn't even know how to comprehend how beautiful you are to him. hamzah believes that every step you walk could potentially lay seeds to grow flowers with every waking step you take. he believes that your voice would be what he hears when he goes into whatever the afterlife is; a sense of comfort, a sense of home. your laugh, to hamzah, was a song only sirens can sing, luring him in whenever he senses your presence by the extroverted laugh escaping from your vocal chords; if he was a pirate, he would jump into the rough waters of the cascadian sea and swim to you, even if water begins to flood his lungs and his legs give out from exhaustion. your personality was one that felt like a break from all the fake and shitty ones. you were a catch. you were his form of meditation, his home, and his solace, all in one.
though hamzah feels deeply about each and every aspect of you, he didn't realize that other people could potentially gain the same emotions his heart beats for; not until he began to notice the stares and attention you would get in public. with the realization that the men you speak to could mean more by their subtle touches and glances, he began to walk with an arm slung around your shoulder at all times. you, being his girlfriend, stole his hoodies and occasionally pairs of pants and accessories; he knew it was his, yet, he realized that everyone else probably thought it was yours. so, he upped the antics; the level of pda went through the roof the more he realized that he needed to make a point. though it was never anything too much, his hand was almost always interlocked with yours. you thought it was the sweetest gesture anyone has ever given you. that was your man; yours specifically, and he was proud of it.
however, with all the male attention given to you, he began to doubt himself. the insecurity, though starting with his old friend group, became amplified each time a man offered you his number when he wasn't around, or when you would text him about some guy asking if you were single. so, as his thoughts became louder than his voice, he unintentionally became cold, dry, and distant.
--
you first realized it when you were telling him a story about some guy, who made you insanely uncomfortable, asking for your number. you were used to the attention, yet you never gave them the attention you would give hamzah. a simple, "no. i have a boyfriend," sufficed each and every time. hamzah never blamed you for it, which is why you felt so comfortable telling him about the encounters you go through in your day to day life.
"if i could've told him to fuck off, i would've," you mentioned, "but people are scary these days. men, specifically."
"yea, i get that," he replied.
you took a bite of the pasta, spicy rigatoni alla vodka that your loving boyfriend prepared, in front of you, "do you wanna go do something after we eat?"
"nah, i gotta do some work. in fact, i'm gonna finish my work in my room right now."
"are you not gonna finish your food?" you asked, slightly worried that he wasn't eating.
he got up from the leather stool, taking the bowl with him, "i will. i'll talk to you later."
it was odd of him, you thought to yourself. normally, he always finishes his meals with you. in fact, that was the first time he ever left mid-meal. yet, you shrugged it off as him being busy. you've always been understanding of his career and how important it is to him, so you let it go as a way of supporting the boy who supports you the most.
--
the second time was when he took you out on a date to the aquarium. he had always joked around about you secretly being a mermaid from how much you enjoy the ocean and natural water, in general. as you marveled at the enormous fish tank in front of you, taking in the sight of the vibrant coral reefs and schools of fish swimming at different paces, he stood behind you. his arms wrapped around your waist, similar to a koala crawling up a tree with its arms interlocked in the front. suddenly, a grating voice interrupted the moment you were having with him.
"hey, are you single? my friend over there thinks you're hot," the boy with the glasses and buzzcut said to you.
you rolled your eyes and turned to look at him, "do you not see the boy that's hugging me from behind right now?"
"ah, aight. my bad, slime," he apologized before returning to his friend.
turning around to look at hamzah, a certain emptiness took away the light from his face. it was dark in the aquarium, but you noticed worry evident in the scrunched up eyebrows and and mouth pushed to the side. you reached your hands up to his cheeks and kissed his mouth with the essence of care and adoration. pulling away, you spoke.
"are you okay? i'm sorry."
he looked at you, still with a level of solemness apparent, "don't apologize; it's not your fault, it's okay. can we go home now? i don't feel that good."
you hugged him, "yeah, baby, of course."
as he pulled up to the designated parking of your shared apartment, he seemed more in a rush than usual. of course, he opened your car door and helped you get out as he always does; however, he was walking quicker than usual to the front door. as soon as you entered the apartment, he went straight to the room. you decided to let him cool off alone for a little; his rushing made you feel like it was the best course of action.
--
the third time wasn't even when a man gave you attention. you noticed that his replies to your questions and conversations were less loving and more straight to the point.
--
"hamzah, can you please help me reach the measuring cups at the top of the cabinets?" you asked him as he was working on his laptop.
without a word, he walked to the kitchen with you following behind him. he reached up to the top of the cabinet towards the ceiling and grabbed the stack of measuring cups, not having to extend much because of his height.
"thank you-"
before you knew it, he vanished back to his pc before you even had the chance to turn around.
--
"what do you think of my outfit?" you asked, smiling in confidence and giving him a twirl.
he looked stagnant with his resting face, "it's nice."
you frowned, "do you think it looks weird on me?"
"nah, you're good."
"oh, okay."
--
hell, even in texts he was being as dry as a teenage boy trying to ghost the girl he met on snapchat a week ago after she refused to send nudes.
--
hamzahh :p <3
11:45 am | do u need anything from the store
derp queen gf :3 <3
11:45 am | yes pls, can u get some oat milk? we ran out
11:45 am | thank u baby i love u :)
hamzahh :p <3
11:49 am | k
--
derp queen gf :3 <3
3:23 pm | i have a headache
hamzahh :p <3
3:30 pm | oh u should prob eat or sleep or smth
derp queen gf :3 <3
3:30 pm | i did earlier, idk whats up with my head
hamzahh :p <3
4:21 pm | idk either
--
derp queen gf :3 <3
10:07 pm | hii baby i just wanted to ask when you'll be home
hamzahh :p <3
10:08 pm | like 20 min
derp queen gf :3 <3
10:08 pm | ah okayy drive safe i love u <3
hamzahh :p <3 liked your message
--
it was currently around 3 in the morning. you were attempting to chase sleep peacefully, however, the absense of warmth wrapped around you made it hard. the blanket didn't work as well as hamzah did. you wondered why he wasn't in bed yet; he finished the video he was editing earlier and he hadn't seen you all day. normally, this was the time when he would be all over you; the time where his lips would shower your body in kisses and marks, since he knew you were ticklish and enjoyed hearing you laugh. your feet hit the cold, wooden floors beneath you, sending a shiver in your spine, as you decided to venture to find him.
the light of the office was on and you could hear two distinct voices speaking on the phone; martin and hamzah were currently on a call. your hand reached out towards the metal doorknob, yet you pulled away after the voices started sounding more clear to you. it was muffled, but you could understand what was going on in the call.
"martin, i just don't know what to do. i mean, my girlfriend's genuinely the most attractive person i've ever seen and, y'know, i kinda didn't realize that other people would think so too."
"okay, yeah, but, like, at the same time, that doesn't mean you just ignore her and get hella distant. you think me and mandy would've lasted this long if i did that?"
"it's not like i'm trying to be a dick, it's just happening. i dunno, i just feel like she would do so much better with someone else that isn't me."
"why?"
"look at her, martin! and then look at me. i feel like people just look at her in pity like i'm some sort of weird guy who follows her around like a dog. it's like i can just hear their thoughts of, 'damn, why's she with him?" or, 'shit, does she realize she could do waaaay better?' i love her so much. i don't wanna drag her down from being with someone who deserves her."
"hamzah, don't say that. i'm sure you treat her, like, exceptionally well. i see it, mandy sees it, chase and claire see it... i think you're just getting too much into your head about what other people think of you."
"it's hard not to when i constantly feel like i'm not enough for her. like, she doesn't do anything to make me feel like this- shit, she's the best girl i've ever met in my life and she genuinely treats me so good- like i live so good because of her. it's just, i dunno, i guess i'm scared she doesn't feel the same towards me."
the last sentence made your heart drop to your stomach; you viewed hamzah so highly that he could be considered a higher being. being attractive, you've been with a couple other people; however, none of them treated you with the same elegance, poise, and kindness that hamzah does. none of them opened every single door for you as if their life depended on it. none of them would take off their jacket just to hold it above you like shelter whenever it rained. none of them would cook whatever meal you requested, regardless of if they know how to make it or not. hamzah would do all of that and more. every door was opened, in fact, he would even kiss you as you entered whatever building it was. his jacket would be taken off as soon as a droplet hit the floor, no matter how hard or light it was raining; "you'll get sick if you get wet and i don't wanna get sick too. i know if you get sick, i'll get sick because i can't stay away from you." hamzah spoke to your mother when he realized you were getting home sick and learned exactly how to make your childhood comfort dish, to the tea; your mother likes him and he is the first boy she's ever enjoyed the presence of. you opened the door slowly, making sure not to be too agile with your movements. he looked at you, a glimmer of fear manifesting in his eyes.
"martin, i gotta go," he said, quickly hanging up the call.
he stayed seated in his desk, motioning for you to come closer to him. you stood next to him, silent, and began to rub his upper back with comfort laced in each movement.
his voice was a whisper, barely audible, "how much did you hear?"
"i heard about how you truly feel about me," you mentioned, "the parts where you think you're not good enough for me.
you sat on his lap, as his arms moved to rub circles on your thighs. your arms made its way to the back of his neck, holding yourself upright so that your heads would be facing each other. one of your hands made its way up to his hair; you knew that playing with his hair was one of the most comforting things to him and right now is the time to be comforting him. you kissed him lovingly, the urgency not necessarily being neither a peck or a makeout; it was a third, more balanced option. in that moment, hamzah felt the love you had for him transfer within him. this kiss was different; though all of your kisses had meaning to them, this kiss transcended the insecurity he previously felt about the way you viewed him. you gazed at his eyes after pulling away, noticing hints of lighter brown in the irises being reflected by the dimmed lamp in front of him. he saw how you felt about him in yours.
"is this why you've been so distant?"
he sighed, "yeah. it is."
you frowned, "baby, you could've told me you were feeling like this. i would've comforted you the way that i'm trying to right now."
"i didn't wanna make you feel like it was your fault. it's not. it's mine."
"it's not your fault. you can't control how you feel and that's okay."
he looked away, turning his gaze to the floor, "i didn't want you to think i was weak."
you gently turned his head, eye contact filling the space between you, "hamzah, you're the strongest boy i know. both mentally and physically. it's one of the things i admire the most about you, but i admire so much about you that your strength is one of thousands of traits i feel so strongly about towards you. i don't ever want you to feel like you're weak for having feelings or for having trouble talking about those feelings, but i do want you to be able to talk about them so that i can at least try to help you."
he kissed your cheek, "i know, i'm sorry. i'm sorry i was a dick and i'm sorry i've been so cold. i should've just talked to you about everything."
"did you know that you're the first boy to ever show me what love truly is?"
he looked genuinely confused, "what? i thought you've been with people before."
"i have, yeah. did i love them? i thought i did, but i didn't. and did they love me? not even close. and that's why i stopped loving them. but you and me? it's been three years and going since i started loving you.
"baby, we've only been together for a year and six months."
"yeah, and before that you were a friend. a friend who i never felt scared of talking to if i had a problem and a friend who i could talk to about anything because of the trust i have in you. i think i've genuinely loved you ever since i really got to know you; even if we weren't dating. i've always had that trust and love and care for you. it hasn't stopped and it won't."
the emptiness slowly left his eyes with every word you spoke; hamzah needed this. hamzah needed you.
"you're the first boy i've ever truly loved because you deserve it. i want you and i need you in my life. you're my lifeline. even though anything i do can't ever be enough for you because you deserve everything and infinity, i'll do my best to love you as much as humanly possible. and even when i die, i'll love you as much as i can as ghostly possibly.
he smiled and laughed lightly, "you wanna be a ghost with me?"
"hell yeah. we could haunt the shit out of people we hate."
"i think they'll be dead, too, baby."
"you get the point. but my point is that i deserve you and you deserve me. i love you, hamzah. i always will and always have since i got to know you."
in that moment, hamzah realized the the folds of his brain was playing with themselves all along; including the current state of kissing and hugging his girlfriend. currently, the folds of his brain were creating a memory; a memory that will stick with him each time he gets a voice in his head telling him that you were out of his league. each time hamzah heard you giggling while on his lap as he joked around about everything he wasn't able to tell you in the period that he was being distant, his brain healed itself. his brain was now able to be quiet, as the sound of your voice echoed in his ears, leading up to his head. his brain's voice was now silenced, as the voice of true love was able to scream.
--
authors note!
i think this is one of the most descriptive things i've written in a while! i hope u guys like this and i love u guys thank u sm for all the support on my fics my pretties <33 :p
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aaabatteriez · 9 months ago
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candid sanji (in love) ᯓᡣ𐭩
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⁺˖ not a writer btw just madly in love with sanji and in love with the idea of sanji being in love ☝️
ᡣ𐭩₊˚.⋆⁺₊ ,,
since sanji is naturally flirty towards any young beautiful woman that walks by hes probably become very used to how hes normally treated by women / how he himself sees them.
like whenever he makes advances hes used to getting turned down or not rlly taken seriously but hes ok with that cuz sanji is number 1 ladies man. all he wants is to see women plural, hes not rlly a man who wants to settle down (not including wci that was lowkey forced marriage). hes a little bit of a player right? like hes a flirt to everyone not just one person.
but i think what would happen to sanji when he meets and gets to know someone and he realises that his feelings for that one person wasnt "wow you're pretty i wanna flirt with you too" but instead "i think i'm madly in love with who you are as a person and you're so beautiful that I will glady lay my heart out for you right now and spend the rest of my life with you and only you and id want nothing else" it genuinely scares him.
like he is TERRIFIED.
hes sure hes said something along those lines to other girls before.. but has he actually felt the weight of those words?? the burden of a heart that is so willing to be given to another?? not until now.
but that fear (AHHH!! AHH!! i was sooo scared!!!) doesnt compare to how he'd feel when that person tells him they would like all of that and would be willing to do the same for him.
dont misunderstand now, hes really really happy BUT HES ALSO SHAKING IN HIS BOOTS BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK??? 😭😭 ARE U FR??
he doesnt know what to do because no one has ever felt that way towards him before, and he hasnt felt this strongly about someone else before either
hes so happy but so so scared he's going to mess this up so he tries extra hard to be his usual self, the smooth talking romantic he always is
but it totally backfires cause all of his senses are heightened to the max and hes so fleeping nervous he cant think straight
charisma?? what is a charisma.
all his previous flirty remarks and witty pickup lines?? OUT THE WINDOW. hes tripping all over his words and there's a big ol lump in his throat that wont go away no matter how many times he gulps down hard and coughs
doesnt know what to do with his hands
instead of the smoothly rizzed up buttery sexy tone sanji puts on when he speaks, he sounded like a squeaky door hinge and at the same time he also sounds like hes sick with the flu
insert random silence
so fucking awkward. awkward silence. awkward punchline.
doesnt know what to do with his hands x2
forgets how to hold someone
is this okay?? is this really okay?? (as his hands are visibly shaking)
no cause his lovely lady would have to do all the initial physical contact and flirting before he can finally be an alpha and be a man and take initiative
again he just didnt wanna mess up
hes so worried about that person losing interest in him that he tries to act as his very best but it falls flat from feeling insecure / fear (ahhh!! ahh!! ok sorry ill stop)
abandonment issues!
oh he probably got real drunk and cried himself to sleep too aft messing up trying to flirt for the 1010929292938399th time
a lil bit of a pathetic man
but one who doesnt give up HES READY TO TRY AGAIN!!!
fails x2
₊ ⊹
・゜゜・.・゜゜・・゜゜・.・゜゜・.
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jiminjeonging · 3 months ago
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idk if uve posted smth like this before but do u have any kock headcanons... if that makes sense
alr so i still dont know how to answer to her size bcs according to most fics i read ppl make her big asf which is scary to me so her being a girthy 5,5/6 incher is nice and enough imo! she is cut (i checked and catholics in sk gets circumcised) its curves slightly to left, the tip is #e49f9a, prominent veins bulging from sides, trimed but not clean shaven just very pretty the type that makes minjeong wince and moan at the sight<3<3
im gonna write this for canonverse even though it kinda doesnt make sense but whatever..
they were each others first time and when they first started fucking they couldnt get enough. even though finding an appropriate time for fucking can be a pain in the ass in the dorms, the idea of getting caught turns them on!
their first time happened when jm was rooming with nn and mj was rooming with aeri. they were already sneaking around to make-out whenever they can at that point, in the dorms, practice rooms, restrooms at the broadcasting studios etc etc
jm was hesitant at first, not because she didn’t want mj ofc but because she was afraid of hurting mj.
jm took her time prepping her, kissing her everywhere, making mj fall apart on her fingers first.
so patient, so good, constantly checking in.
"Still with me, baby?"
mj could barely speak, just nodding, already cockdrunk before jm even put it in.
the first stretch was overwhelming.
mj was a mess, gripping at jm's arms, whining, panting.
"Fuck, unnie—s’too much—"
jm just kissed her softly. "You can take it, baby. Let me in."
once mj adjusted, jm lost all self-control. she started so good too, taking it slow but mj felt like heaven and before she knew it she was fucking her like an animal.
jm came so fast it was embarrassing and mj was sore for days, couldn’t even walk straight the next morning.
aeri noticed. ningning noticed. everyone noticed.
jm's favorite position?
face-down, ass-up on minjeong’s bed.
"You look so pretty like this, baby."
pushing her face into the pillows so no one hears her.
hand gripping her hip tight, guiding her back onto her cock.
she also loves taking her against the dorm room door.
minjeong barely gets inside before jimin’s pinning her.
"Missed me, baby? You were gone for too long."
jimin doesn’t even take her clothes off, just pushes her panties aside and fucks her right there.
they also love fucking in the shower when they’re supposed to be getting ready for schedules.
mj sucks jm off while the older shampoos her hair.
and ofc they love missionary because jimin Needs to see minjeongs face.
she wants eye contact. holds minjeong’s wrists above her head, hips snapping into her at a brutal pace. loves when minjeong tries to squirm away, only for jimin to grab her hips and pull her right back in. love love loves seeing minjeong’s stomach bulge from the size, always presses down on it.
ofc when they first start it jimin is in control and she is used to being in control.
she’s used to pinning minjeong down, folding her in half, fucking her so deep she can’t think straight.
she’s used to watching minjeong go dumb on her cock, gasping, moaning, completely at her mercy.
but tonight minjeong wants to try something different.
jimin had been teasing her all day.
grabbing her waist in passing, whispering things in her ear, touching her just enough to make her squirm.
minjeong tried to stay composed, but by the time they got back to the dorm, she was frustrated beyond belief.
and when jimin had the audacity to smirk and say, "Be a good girl and wait for me, baby," before heading to shower?
minjeong was properly annoyed.
jimin comes out of the bathroom half-dressed, hair damp, already looking like sin. she barely has time to react before minjeong is pushing her down onto the bed, climbing into her lap, straddling her.
"Oh?" jimin grins, amused. "What’s this, baby?"
minjeong glares.
"You think you can tease me all day and just walk away?"
jimin chuckles, shaking her head, hands automatically grabbing minjeong’s hips, trying to guide her but minjeong grabs jimin’s wrists and pins them down.
jimin's grin widens and she tries to move, tries to take control back, but minjeong presses her down harder, shaking her head.
"No, unnie. You don’t get to be in charge tonight."
through the night minjeong grinds down on her, moves too slow, teases her clit with jimin's tip without sinking down on her. jimin is oozing precum, veins buling from sides, she feels lightheaded with the amount of blood rushed down on her cock.
"Come on, Minjeong—fuck, baby, please—" she tries to beg.
minjeong just smirks. "What was that? You need something, unnie?"
jimin is desperate, panting, gripping at minjeong’s thighs.
"Need you to ride me, baby—please, just—fuck—"
minjeong teases her a bit more before finally taking her in and jimin throws her head back and whimpers.
she starts slow before riding her hard, fast, relentless—the same way jimin always does to her.
jimin is completely wrecked within minutes, gripping at minjeong’s hips, gasping, moaning helplessly.
"Baby, baby—fuck, slow down—"
"No."
minjeong is grinning, knowing she finally has jimin at her mercy.
when she feels like jimin is about to come she slows down, dragging her nails down jimin’s chest, teasing her before going fast again.
jimin is trembling, eyes unfocused.
"I c-can’t—fuck, Minjeong—" she whines when minjeong edges her for the nth time
"You take it, unnie. Just like I always do."
-
jimin actually sobs when she finally comes, body shaking, completely overwhelmed.
and minjeong? she doesn’t stop. making her cry again from overstimulation.
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sheyfu · 10 months ago
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just imagine sae holding you close as you cry on his chest and vent about having a bad day.
i imagine him as someone who wouldnt know what to do at first bc hes not used to these stuff but hed get the hang of it eventually (this has happened way too many times for him not to get used to). in my eyes, hes not the type to talk your ear off but someone who's quiet, nodding and letting out hums and grunts whenever he hears about your day. his embrace is warm; cradling you as if you'd run away from him once he lets you go. his thumbs sweep against your hair as he listens to you vent about your lazy ass of a boss---his way of saying 'go on let it all out'.
(he's not someone who easily gets affected by your emotions, but he does hold a grudge against the person who made you like this.)
once you're done letting everything out, he holds you closer to him, pressing kisses on your head, forehead, hands,on your nose, and finally, on your lips. even with your puffy eyes and hair sticking on your forehead, you're still the most beautiful person in his eyes; your beauty far more intoxicating than that of the stars above.
and as you fall into a deep sleep, little snores coming out from you, a small smile manages to peak out from his lips while he tucks you into bed, kissing the ring on your finger and taking his place on your right side. he stares at you for a moment longer, wanting to savour this solemn moment; drinking in your beauty as the moonlight illuminates your features.
and as he feels his eyes drooping, he leaves a short yet lasting kiss on your lips, soon joining you in your dreamscape.
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I HAVENT WRITTEN IN A LONG TIME SO APOLOGIES IF THIS DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE (this was a sponty idea and a sponty writing session so ERM) 😭😭😭😭 idk when i'll be able to finish my upcoming stuff (uni szn soon ERMMMM) but in the meantime, please expect drabbles like this bc im in a silly sad writing mood ERMMMM ANYWAYS THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT UEUEUUEUE i love u all 🥹🥹💛💛
© misaemores on tumblr
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pumpkinsy0 · 17 days ago
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PLEASE CAN WE GET HCS FOR CURLY MAKING PONY BLUSH BY FLIRTING
no, no u cannot
•rip johnny cade u wouldve loved sarcastically going “rreeaaalllll smooth�� after curly made pony go tongue tied and left💔💔but maybe its good ur not here ponys face would b like a tomato if anyone saw him and curly do that
•curly flirting before he and pony got close and after r two different things!!! before he would b more down to earth but after, hes more upbeat and in ur face. does pony miss how curly used to flirt??? ehhhh kinda, curlys just different and he cant hate on that, as long as curlys attention is on him its cool
•making pony blush truly isnt hard by any means but that doesnt mean hes innocent. he truly is not its just hes not used to any lick of romantic attention flooding his way. paired w how fast curly does it like hes shooting bullets??? yea thats what trips him up curly doesnt let him take a breather
•if pony is to b hit on by curly, he would rather it b during something related to his track stuff. his face is already red from the exercise so when curly does it, its harder to tell if his face is red from that or the flirting. also perfect bc when ponys wearing the track uniform thats one if the times curly hits on pony REALLY hard (the shorts😒)
•pony makes noises if curly gets him truly riled up, like a huff or hum or whatever u can think of, curlys not just flirting w pony for the blush, but for that too
•curly grabbing him by the hips and putting his head on his shoulder helloooooo, ponys used to physical affections but not this outwardly but hes not complaining, dare i say he loves curlys physical affection the most
•curly in general moves and looks very differently from most guys in the neighborhood in the sense that hes more smooth in a freaky way than anyone else in town (once again think of a cheshire cat when u think of curly) man idfk how to descibe it POINT IS that also plays into ponys attraction towards curly
•whispering in ponys ear (kind of) regardless of what curly says will get the hairs on the back of his neck to go up
•on the SUPER DUPER rare occasion curly joins the curtis gang in football he will always choose to b on the other team to tackle pony and b on top of the guy and not let up but also he can throw pony off guard by hitting on him before they do that lil football “team squats down before throwing the ball” thing
•i dont think ponys opposed to the idea of curly roughly hitting on him, would he PREFER it??? no def not, but he would get a lil flustered from curly being a small bully while hitting on him. curly being mad while flirting w him??? he can rock w it here n there, however he PRAYS nobody finds that out
•u know how when someone bullies u, u find out about insecurities u didnt even know u had??? curlys the exact opposite of that when flirting w pony
•would totally catcall pony from the end of the block and everyone WILL hear what he said. even does a wolfwhistle before doing it. as a result when a guy is trying to hit on a girl and does it, pony pauses too cause for a split second he thinks its for him. now to make it more personal curly adds that whistle the curtis and shepard gang does in the book to ask “whos there” right before doing the wolf whistle and yknow what??? makes pony feel special and it flatters him
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love4madii · 2 years ago
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hey! i love love your work, and i was wondering if i could request a chris sturniolo x fem!reader?
maybe reader is also a well known influencer, or an actress or something of the sort, and there’s rumours about her and chris being together that they haven’t really confirmed?
but they are dating and she’s on live one day and he calls her like an intimate pet name, or just overall says something that shows they are in fact together and like the comments on the live just go crazy and stuff and shes like telling chris she’s on live or whatver
im so sorry if this doesnt make sense 🙏🙏
stop bc i requested pretty much this same thing to another author (on wattpad) a few months back, so when i read this request it was such an "i made it" moment (i love u sm, you're just like me fr fr)
baby - c.s
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pairings: chris sturniolo x reader
summary: chris accidentally calls reader 'baby' while she's on live, revealing to the whole world that they're dating/
warning(s): fluff, reader calling chris bro 😔
not proofread
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i'm sitting on the couch, watching tv, bored out of my mind.
then an idea hits me, i could go on live!
i used to go live a lot with the triplets, but only on their account, so it would be fun to go live on mine.
i open instagram and click the live button, watching the stream fill with thousands of people
"holy shit that's a lot of people" i say with a nervous laugh
"uhh i guess i'll answer any questions anyone has! so feel free to ask anything!" i add, smiling
i read through the comments, lots of them asking where the triplets are
i can't help but notice seeing a few asking if me and chris are dating.
fortunately, those allegations are true! but we've decided to keep it quiet for, just for now.
still, there’s only so much one can hide from the public
and although me and chris haven't said anything, i think everybody knows anyway.
people can see our glances, our gestures, how close we are, it's all pretty obvious.
i answer a few questions like my favorite singer, when my next video is coming out, podcast stuff with the triplets, and just some other various topics.
suddenly i hear the door unlock, looking over at it, but not really caring.
maybe i can get whichever triplet that is to join my live.
chris walks in and i smile in his direction
"hey baby" he says and my expression immediately drops.
i look at him, PALE.
(absolutely terrified to look back at the screen)
"what?" he says, walking closer, i turn my head to the screen, anticipating my death.
i let out a sigh of relief seeing the comments
@ssturniolo BABY???
@strniolo AWWWWWWWW
@lvrsparadise GOODBYE I LOVE THEM.
@ellieswifie this is such a chris and y/n mistake 😭
@lavieenvalentina i'm so happy for them i'll cry
(shoutout to everyone tagged ILY<;3)
as i'm reading the comments, i smile, chris hovering over me reading them too
suddenly he hugs me from behind, squeezing me tight
"chris!" i say laughing
"let me go bro" i whine
"you did not just call me bro" he says, immediately stopping
his death glare makes me laugh
"consider it payback for you calling me baby on live" i say laughing
(him clearly not amused)
"okay fine fine im sorry, guys it's all okay he's not my bro please let me redeem myself" i say joking on the last part
me and chris stay on live for another 30 minutes, answering questions about how we got together and just stuff about our relationship.
"bye guys we love you!!" i say, ending the live
i close out of insta, putting my phone down with an exhausted sigh
"so?" i mumble, anticipating chris's response
"so? so nothing" he say's with a smile and i face palm
"chris! we just told like, the world that we're dating" i laugh
"yeah, and i'm happy about it, like honestly i can't think of a better way it could've happened" he says
we both look at eachother and burst out laughing
"we're a little interesting thats for sure" i say
"i can't believe we tell the world we're dating ON ACCIDENT and then you start calling me bro" chris says, making me laugh harder
"i was nervous! im sorry!" i yell with my hands up in defense
"yeah yeah, it's fine" he says, wrapping his arms around me
"bro" he adds on
"chris i swear to god-"
TAGLIST:
@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookworm
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prettyboykatsuki-moved · 5 months ago
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zero im sooo sry . ur like the only person in the world who sees the potential in anyone what do u think hiori likes during sex 🎤
KDSFKJDSFSLK ? PLEASE
i think he is very strangely overwhelming in bed. you definitely do not think anything of him but i get the feeling you kind of ... end up being fucked out and afterwards he pretends he doesnt have any idea about it if that makes any sense at all. it feels like an illusion or being tricked if you will.
you just always end up beat out by him somehow and he always has the nerve to look so innocent and normal after. its so hard to explain because he's not like? rough with you. genuinely i do not think he is. rough isn't the right word to me. you just always feel like you're losing somehow.
hiori has a very innate understanding of your buttons so to speak and he like. abuses the shit out of them SDFKJSD. he is a bit like isagi to me but he lacks the characteristic sweetie pie aspect. i would say he reminds me a lot of sae? SDJKFSKJD. he's like all intensity. he doesn't have strong preferences himself necessarily out of a few things he would like to do
and of those things i think he's probably just fond of bondage. nothing extreme but anything to do with like handcuffs or restraining you somehow. HE ALSO HAS A LOT TO SAY DURING SEX??? BUT AFTERWARDS HE JUST PRETENDS HE DIDNT SAY ALL OF THAT. what he says depends on what makes you tick i think.
he kind of just. gets off on seeing how he can manipulate your body and then doing that as much as possible - according to whatever your preferences are. he gets off when you get off but also a little bit on torturing you. your nipples, your clit, wherever. as long as he can push you to the edge.
one of the times where i believe he rarely gets off himself unless you want him to. part of me can see hiori lacking a sex drive and preferring to match his partners. the type to always be down if asked but not necessarily ask himself because he can go without it and be fine. i think he is demi/grayace like me lowkey sdkjksd
his face is deceiving basically 😭😭 you underestimate him all the time and end up face down in his bed. he gives you aftercare and goes to play skyrim while you sleep. he enjoys having sex with you because he likes making you feel good when the clingy mood strikes him, but also likes when he has a kind of control of your body bc he is a freak.
i hope this makes sense dkjhsdkj
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peanutheaddd · 13 days ago
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HI OOMFIE.. PENIS HEAD EVEN.. I gyatt a few questions about the muse au cause i have vrainrot
where does Petey live in this? Is t like a studio apartment or a garage?? Where the fuck he at bro!!
Does Dogman ever get revealed to the media/public that he’s half human? Like does someone lowkey ever put him on blast
how do they commmunicate!! Normal sign or does Dogman use Paper :0
does Dogman have any hobbies of his own?? How’s him and LPs relationship in this
Can we frolick in FEILDS together
ANON I WOUD LAY MY LIFE DOWN FRO U OHHHHHH MY GOD i alr love getting asked abt my aus but THIS MANY QUESTIONS IN ONE ASK......? OH IM SICK IN THE HEAD
-- i have no idea where he lives specifically like i dont have a concrete idea of it but all ik is that his art studio and his home are the same place . and the place he lives is more art studio purpose than home purpose . theres probs js a blanket in the corner for him to sleep . 😭😭😭 and like pipes running along the walls . industrial sink that he uses for cleaning his brushes and washing his clothes and dishes and making his coffee .
i think its like a dirt cheap studio apartment in kind of a bad neighborhood. smth smth redlining . like the floors are made of concrete and shit 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no ac no heating . concrete box with his art supplies and some bare necessities . he doesnt rlly take care of himself either so there arent many bare necessities either 💀💀💀💀
-- and im not sure if dms identity ever gets revealed . it makes the most sense plot wise but idk How i would fix it . the only way i can see it being fixed is dm having to flee the country 😭😭😭😭 bc the government would kill him . and if they dont kill him he would At Least get put on like an fbi watchlist if he isnt on one already 💀💀💀💀💀 . hes already an activist like that would just be the final nail in the coffin im ngl . if youve heard of the black panther party (hopefully u have) the us govt during the late 1900s would Literally just Kill members of the bpp . like . its not out of their character . and since muse au takes place during this era the government Definitely has the audacity to just kill him .
i think also dms surgery was probably government backed . since he got blown up on the war front it makes sense that the subsequent surgery was . the governemnts doing . and the govt does Not want people knowing about it . so if his identity ever gets revealed it would be too risky on the govts end to keep him alive so they would lit do anythign to try and kill him 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Ultimately . im not sure . id have to think on it more . tbf the ending to muse au in general isnt developed fully yet LOL i dont have the faintest idea what happens .
-- communication is initially paper and pencil but eventually petey starts learning asl . lil petey learns before him i reckon which. makes sense LOL
-- as for hobbies.... Heh... ive been thinking of having dm be a bit of a writer . my hc of dm liking poetry applies to most if not all of my aus . i had an idea in my head of dm writing a poem abt petey and he gets kinda emotional abt it . smth smth artist gets art made about them for the first time in their life .
-- he and lp have a relationship pretty similar to canon methinks they jsut get up to shenanigans and they fw each other heavy . dm really likes his art and likes to listen to his stories and he likes to give him little snacks to eat . lp likes to draw dm and dm likes to pose for him LOLLLL hes his number one fan !
-- YES!!!!!!! LETS FUCKING FORLICK DAWG!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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velvetvexations · 5 months ago
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hello velvet this is going to be a lot abt hate crimes in abstraction (by which i mean, not about an Actual Hate Crime That Happened) but i wanted to warn u in case that was too much for comfort <3
my partner is stealth transmasc, and when you say this i think a lot of people interpret it as "Passes All The Time, Every Time". of course that's not what "stealth" means (it means low/no disclosure... it's flexible bc it's slang, but "stealth" tends to imply intention, it's something you do on purpose for safety reasons). the misconception is irritating most of the time, but i also think its actively dangerous and contributes directly to the erasure of transmasculine oppression. like, i keep seeing people refuting the statement "being stealth is a hostage situation" with "well im stealth and im not scared of being outed" as if it has anything to do with personal sense of fear. youd think that would be obvious.
we live in a blue dot in deeply red state. the difference between our city and where my partner grew up, in the surrounding area, is stark. contrary to popular belief, this doesnt make us safe. he gets threatened with violence walking home alone, he gets called slurs by people that think theyve clocked him as any number of things. you walk fast and dont look behind you when stuff like that happens. none of my friends have been able to answer me when i ask "did they follow you home? do they know where you live?" transfem friends too! it's almost like we're more alike in experiencing transphobia than we are different. who'd've thought.
im thinking abt this bc we travel via greyhound and the last station we left was very very poorly maintained - arent they all? - and in the mens restroom, every door to every stall had a broken lock. my partner joked abt taking a "risky pee" lol, and if it wasnt for where we were, who we are, and the time we are living in, maybe the little icepick of fear wouldnt have gotten stuck in me and i wouldve laughed.
the thing that irritates me abt this discourse is that this type of white knight, tme-in-bio transmasc (or associate) does not at all seem to recognize the danger inherent to being stealth, to looking sort of like a man if the ppl around you are not violent transphobes looking for a fight. they are so consumed by this idea of trans-male privilege that they dont even recognize the danger they are in. often times i think its bc of their own individual privilege. maybe they live in a more trans-friendly region than i do. maybe theyve never met a transphobe, never been called slurs from a speeding car that almost hit you, maybe theyve never been loudly transvestigated in public. i really, sincerely hope they never do. but they take that and apply it to other transmascs far less fortunate and dont even recognize the erasure they are contributing to. bc everyone knows only transfems get hate crimed! who else ever would?
they think that no one has ever clocked them (how? are you a mindreader?), they think that if they look enough like a cis man, "other" cis men wont hurt them, cis women wont be Able to hurt them. they think thats true of every transmasc thats been a year+ on t. it's juvenile. it's icarian. it's misogyny dressed up as solidarity and chivalry. and it's not even fucking true. the vast majority of Any trans person who is trans in Any number of ways is going to face fear and anxiety and the potential for danger in a bathroom.
thank you for sharing anon <3
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