#(they probably havent seen that either...im afraid to ask)

[iloveanimalsmorethanhumans]

I think my job is a simulation.

The people are all very nice, welcoming and kind from the day I started. Weird, coming from the East Coast where newbies at work are treated with suspicion and derision more times than not.

I'm a temp so far, with the possibility of being permanent.

Here's the thing.....No One here has seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I found out today they haven't even heard of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes much less seen it. (To be fair, that one is a bit of a reach in any environment. They get a pass on that)

Anyway....I think on my last day some scientist is going to pop out of a hidden room and start asking me a bunch of questions about my experience.

Oh, yeah, and they pray before meetings.

Is this a cult? Should I call my Dad?

[unlimitedhorsepower]

Tagged by: @thevoiceofthanatos​

Favorite color: warm bright yellow, mustard yellow & old gold, and just yellow in general. its a good colour. it makes me happy

Currently reading: idk, probably star trek fanfic my friend @rubbertplant​ was writing to give my opinion on it. i often read through my own stuff too lol, like whoah i wrote that??? ADHD has taken everything from me including my capability to read though, for real. ive been thinking of trying to listen to some audiobooks recently though, this cannot continue... its just that i also have no ears disease so idk how well that would go. determined to try though

Last song you listened to: havent been listening to music so much bc ive been playing videos instead but my last.fm has all my spotify listens so itll stay up to date on whatever i listened to last. currently seems to be “please play-bite” by pinocchioP. i often just let spotify play me whatever it recommends anyhow so theres variance. and i only started this account like a few months ago max so its not really a full picture of my music-listening

Last movie (in theaters): its not really a movie, but if it counts, the first ginga nagareboshi gin stageplay (recorded and released in finland in theaters with subs)

ginga was always huge in finland for some reason. idk. the anime is so violent though that i got really afraid of bears for some reason. theres so much blood... i never read the manga either i just knew of the anime and partook in my share of wolf roleplays (dogs were uncool! so i didnt do dog roleplays. iirc that really was my reason).

heres some funny wolves from my wolf rp days

2010. one of the first things i coloured digitally... i painstakingly cleaned the scanned pencil lineart with a mouse

2011. i had gotten my first drawing tablet as a birthday/xmas gift and practiced a ton around this time (more than just wolves lol)

Last series I watched: trigun stampede. even changed my phone bg into vash... but millions knives is probably my favourite. he just does everything wrong and makes his life worse. and everyone elses life too bc he sucks. but hes multifaceted so hes also my meow meow and whatever. i hope a ford explorer drives over him

if it counts though, ive seen some star trek TOS episodes and movies because my friends have been watching them. im not super into it but its always fun to hang. i also dont watch a lot of stuff. i dont even know what i do. guy who doesnt read or watch things but listens to jerma videos on youtube without actually looking at them while i “draw” and “write”

Craving: food honestly. i should cook something lmfao. i also want soda so bad but i dont have any. id make some tea but its disgustingly warm in my house so i only want cool drinks. could kill for a nice milkshake or a smoothie rn i think

Tea or coffee: tea... im the only finnish person who doesnt drink coffee for real. also got really into loose leaf tea bc i befriended a chinese lady who is really into tea and has a tea shop in the city near where i live

Currently working on: drawing this and trying to think how i want to do it. somehow want to incorporate flat colours and maybe shade his body naturally, and make the blood look realistic instead of flat colours... hmm not sure yet what i want to do

other than that im trying to proofread the chapter of my ryanyuri fanfic i already published because theres a lot of typos and strange sentences in there but its been a chore bc my body breaks down when it gets too warm smfh... not looking forward to when my apt goes over 30 degrees celsius it is unlivable. im also trying to complete a “lookbook” of my tnb sims. but i always start huge projects that take three million years to complete and im really slow lmfao

Tag people you’d like to get to know better: i could just ask these questions from everyone i talk on discord with. fuck my friends i know irl or otherwise, only asking people who r my friends through tumblr. no need to do this though. also this isnt probably meant to be answered so long-windedly... thats just me. i cant answer with one word i gotta write an essay. heres three tags though @basslinegrave​ @vita-divata​

(record scratch before 3rd tag) and @rubbertplant​ bc they were streaming a game in discord when i started typing this and i was like hey wanna do it and they were like yeah

i expect replies on my desk by 5pm TOMORROW!!!!get to work!!!! no i jest, do it or dont, i dont mind either way, just if you feel like doing this. if you see this and want to do it feel free to consider yourself tagged. godspeed

[cynettic]

hi, i hope i'm not bothering you, but i can order a Scaramouche × Kitsune reader, the two met before the vision hunt (and before he was a fatui if you want) the reader was always in the same place, sometimes having a conversation , the good old routine, but with the hunting of visions the reader disappeared not wanting to give up his own vision, and years later a reunion, SFW or NSFW is by your will, thank you, I really admire your work

Summary - Scaramouche met you as a child, growing up with the constant assurance that you would be right there, sitting at your spot where he could meet you with every visit. He isn't happy when you suddenly disappear.

Pairing - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warning - Slight Yandere warnings?

Penpal - Ahhh- hope this is what you were looking for. I couldn't find a spot to put much nsfw unless I considered writing more for the series ( I could, just put a request in if thats what you’re looking for ). But I hope you liked it!! You're not bothering me at all and I'm glad you like my work!

A/N - Alright- so considering that with the 2.1 update with Scaramouche coming in, I just wanna state beforehand that I wrote this prior so I dont know if we learn about his backstory or anything!!

Link for Part 2

Stay With Me

Scaramouche was used to the routine he’d found himself going along with every visit to Inazuma. As a child he’d pass through the wild fields that stretched just beside his hometown, adventurous and curious with all the tenacity of a child.

And of course you, a kitsune that sat perched on the ground awaiting the Kitsune Saiguu, was bound to notice him. Unlike the other earth kitsune statues, you hadnt turned to stone during your wait. Instead, staying in the same place did you interact with travellers and the locals, which included Scaramouche.

“Fox person!” The little boy chanted, pulling at the hems of your clothing. Bright blue eyes bore into your own, and you slowly shifted your head to pay attention to the boy who was on the verge of bouncing on you.

Humming in reply to his excitement, the little boy paused, both of his small hands still tightly clasping the fabric of your clothes. Soft matted hair brushed past his face in a messy manner, calling out the boy for his boundless running and rebellious urge to keep his hair messy despite his parents wishes.

“Play with me!”

Staring at the boy only a moment longer, you simply chuckled at his antics. “I’m afraid I cannot move from the spot in which I dwell~ Perhaps I’ll be able to entertain you if you bring cards?”

But the young boy had made up his mind at the statement to which you couldn't move. A pitiful frown enfluged his face as he cast you the nastiest glare a five year old could muster. “Boring!” He shouted into the distance of the fields, dramatically turning on his heels and bouncing up into a sprint away. You watched his small figure fade away into the background, absentmindedly sighing and returning to your mindless thoughts.

As a child, Scaramouche would pass by you fairly often. Frequent when he asked you to play with him, and storming away with the same expression when you denied him. Nothing out of the ordinary, you’d lived for an exceptional amount of time, and even though grumpy children were not your specialty, you’d grown accustomed to their behaviour.

Growing up, Scaramouche got no better. You soon noticed his violent tendencies before they became an issue, the way the children shied away from him when playing Temari. Hiding in front of a tough exterior, he scared them away and laughed, approaching you later with tearful sob.

“Will you play with me?” He asked again, trying to hide the fact that he still wept when the other children pushed him away.

But your answer stayed the same, helping him wipe his tears and coaxing him into your arms. Not the first time you’d made contact with a human, but the first time you held them in such an affectionate manner.

It was clear Scaramouche was beginning to see you as some sort of pillar of reassurance when he began running away from home to simply ask to be held. You always welcomed him with open arms, urging him to head back to his household and sort things out. There was no harm in simply providing love and comfort for a child who received none was there?

“Now now, hurry back home little one. Your parents must be growing awfully worried if you’re out by this time at night.”

“My parents dont care about me!”

Darkness slowly pooled into the fields, an obscure shade covering the two of you from the tree you were under. Biting back form your normal emotionless statements, you pondered for something to soothe and convince the boy. Misunderstandings and hardships were normal from what youd seen with children, and you could only offer your hand on his shoulder, a promise. “Go back, I promise to stay here if anything further happens. But you shold give them another chance dont you think?”

And so he’d sprint back to his hometown, and you wouldnt hear from him again till he ran up right up to you a few days later. Begging you to play a game with him. The normal you supposed, and with a grin that seemed to stretch wider with every day, you told him the same thing you told him every single time.

“You cant move?!” Scaramouche nearly yelled one time, tiny fists curling at his side. “Thats… thats stupid!”

“It is isnt it?” You only smiled in response.

Unsatisfied with your response, he clawed your arm, pulling you with all his might. Strong, you realized with surprise that he was much stronger than most children his age. Easy enough to tug away from, but strong enough to take you off guard.

Snapping your hand back to your side, you narrowed your eyes. You weren't angry… no, you hadnt felt strong feelings like that after the disappearance of the Kitsune Saiguu. “Do not attempt to move me,” was your curt response, said in the most stern voice you’d used with the boy.

He’d looked at you only a few seconds longer before bursting into tears, turning away and running. You didn't feel regretful for defending yourself, only turning once more with a tired sigh to stare at the distance.

But just as you stayed ageless, Scaramouche grew older. Still, crossing each others pass was inevitable when you sat in the plains, just alongside the path that lead to his hometown.

With a permanent scowl that seemed to stain his face, he still seemed to have mature a tad bit. Maybe hadnt improved in the social department, because he now scared children and adults and alike, but more mature…

“Hm? Whats this?”

Once again, sitting criss cross under the large tree that provided the perfect shade on sunny days, you stared at the boy expectantly. His hands hesitated at your question, but he resumed shuffling. “Cards,” he simply said in response.

A small featherlike feeling flitted across your chest, making you feel lighter and… almost ticklish. A small smile crossed your face, and you recognized the emotion to be one of adoration. For him to have remembered words you’d spoken years ago, it gave you a warmth you’d sorely missed. A warmth akin to watching him and the other children grow up.

“Ew, dont smile like that, its creepy.”

Swatting at his head, he frowned further when you laughed. “You’re more mature,” you pointed out, lazily leaning back. “You need to work on your people skills though, as someone who hasnt moved in years, thats pitiful that I know more than you.”

“Shut it!”

But as he grew up, you hardly got to see much of him. He’d reached your height and then fully disappeared, leaving no goodbye. And much as you hated to admit it, you hardly noticed, not when days passed in a flurry. You were used to being by yourself, entertaining the kids and greeting the people that passed by.

Sometimes, there’d be the reminder of the warmth he’d given you. But it was quickly overshadowed by your duty to remain seated in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. A dedication kept in its earnest, but beginning to dwindle.

Inazuma was beginning to change.

“The vision decree…” you repeated, staring at the traveller who’d mentioned it to you. “Care to elaborate?”

The new archon threatenening to take away visions from every inhabitant of Inazuma. It was preposterous, so much that you didnt move. Your vision meant the world to you, but so did the Kitsune Saiguu. You werent sure just how you weighed the two till you saw civilians passing by you, ones you recognized, ones that didnt recognize themselves.

It was snowing, cold snowflakes melting into your skin while your hair soaked in the water. Unflinching, you hummed to a little tune, awaiting someone to pass you so that you could attempt to strike a conversation of somesort. The unnatural weather distanced all who entered the field though, and you simply waited. For the Kitsune Saiguu, for someone, or for some form of entertainment, you didnt know. You Slowly closing your eyes, you decided not to care.

“Im gone for five years and you’re still sitting here like a dumbass.”

Eyes snapping open, you find yourself face to face with a complete stranger. Dark purple hair with dark blue eyes, piercing and dangerous in a way you dont recognize at all. Fancy clothing that you cant identify or put a name on.

The boy took a step towards you, crouching down to stare at you directly. His eyes scanned over your figure briefly, and he brushed the snow out of your hair and ears with one flick of his hand. In the next, he was offering a coat to you. “Take it, you’re probably getting cold.”

You leaned forward, ignoring the coat he offered you. Gently, you raised your hand to brush the hair from his eyes, centred on the way his pupils widened. Offering a small moment of surprise and one glimpse into the small childlike blue eyed wonder he was. “Kiddo,” you breathed, pulling your hand back and scanning him once again. “You’ve grown.”

“And you havent.”

Snickering at his comment, you took the coat. You didnt need it, but he looked like he didnt either. He was already wearing clothing that kept him warm, and with careful observation and an untouched coat, you settled on the fact that he’d brought it here. Brought the coat here for you.

“Still havent improved with those social skills of yours have you?”

He scoffed, letting himself fall back till he was sitting fully. “I dont want to hear it from someone who refuses to move an inch for years. Lazy ass.”

You open your mouth to retort, but instead laugh at his comment, shaking your head. “Gained some humour on your journeys have you? Bad words too it seems. Anyways...” He had sat down, which meant that he meant fully well to sit, chat, and catch up. That familiar warmth filled your chest, a contrast between the cold snow. “Welcome back.”

It wasnt often that Scaramouche visited Inazuma, but when he did, he was sure to visit you. The two of you would sit down for hours, talking about the most trivial topics. He never mentioned what he did in his time away, and you never asked.

But things began to go downhill when news of the vision decree finally took action.

“Its no joke anymore! The Raiden Shogun has taken custody of almost a hundred visions!”

In that moment you made your decision, weighing your vision over the Kitsune Saiguu. Awfully selfish you knew, but you’d spent decades sitting there in wait.

And for the first time you sat up from your position on the ground, clumsily stumbling upright but gaining balance. It takes a few steps until you’re back to normal, and you begin your journey in order to escape the Raiden Shogun’s vision hunt decree.

_-_-_-_

You didnt expect to see him again.

Long grass tickled at the skin of your legs, making you adjust your footing to no avail. Sun slowly descending past the mountains to mark the start of an evening and the soon approaching night. A normal day of exploring the mountains and islands of Inazuma, observing the constant changing situation, and running away from the vision decree like a favourite past-time.

With the exception of a firm grip on your wrist.

Dark purple like hair, same hate brimmed eyes and lavish clothing. You recognized Scaramouche the moment he had appeared, looking just as surprised as you were. That being before he snatched your wrist and snarled, “You.”

You wouldve considered it pure luck to find him, an unexpected reunion with someone you actually remembered. But no, his tone had some predatorial edge to it that had you cringing. Hard. “Yes, its me.” You answered back with a frown, trying to loosen his hold. “Nice to see you too, is something the matter?”

He only seemed confused at your words, pulling you closer.

“Something the matter?” He asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, to start, you’re not sitting at your damn spot.”

Taken aback for a moment, you wondered if that sole fact was what drove the boy to such lengths. Surely he couldn't be so troubled over the fact that you moved… “The vision hunt decree, I'm sure I mentioned that I was sticking around in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. I decided to wander around and avoid the conflict until I could settle back.”

“You could’ve waited for me,” he stated almost instantly. “I could have protected you.”

You felt your brows furrow quizzically. “Wait for you? Why in the world would I-”

“Why wouldn't I?” He pushed you closer till he could fully grab both wrists, taking a step closer as if his words would resonate clearer in your head. “You took care of me as a child, it would only be fair for me to repay the favour.” But he only seemed to be looking for excuses. “And besides, you can't just up and leave… I didn't know.”

Before you could interject with the obvious answer that he didn't need to know, you stopped. You’d lived decades, nearly centuries if you’d kept count, and you had learned to read people's expressions even when you’d stayed away from them for so long. He didn't know. It hit you in the most unpleasant way that he wasn't aware that it was none of his concern. To him, you were just another thing he needed to keep track of, something he had control over. His face basically screamed, ‘I depended on you to stay in that place.’

Deep breath in and out. You’d lived long, longer than him, you could deal with a child throwing a tantrum.

“Don't worry,” you gestured to the vision ta your side. “I'm strong enough to protect myself, I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be back when the vision decree ends.”

Unconvinced, he pulled you closer, just until your faces were mere inches away from each other. “No,” he said in a stern voice. “I’d rather you by my side, where I can protect you. I hate to question what you’re capable of, but you’ve been sitting down for as long as I’ve known you for.”

“I’ve lived decades more than you,” a simple reply, hopefully enough to get by him. You snatched your hands back with ease, ears flinching slightly when a cold breeze swept past you. But you stayed firm, not wanting to look vulnerable against the imposing air he had around him.

Still unconvinced. “You’re coming with me.”

“No I’m not.”

You’d known him as a kid, watched him grow up along with all the other small ones in his hometown. And maybe you admit you cared a smudge bit about the warmth he gave you when settling down to play cards, but he was different. He had changed in the worst way and you weren't about to deal with it.

“So you’re not coming with me voluntarily?” He asked softly, taking a small step to which you responded by stepping back. He had his hands up, as if telling you he wouldn't hurt you. But the way he said voluntarily sent shivers up your spine.

“No.” Hand on your vision, you held your own hand up threateningly.

He took his time when tilting his head, taking a deep breath in, and then appearing in front of you in just a short stride. Too quick to react, you hesitated before you could attack him. You didn't want to hurt him, he was still a child in your eyes, and you paid the consequences for that. He slid his hand just along your neck, and a jolt of electricity seemed to thrum inside you just as you collapsed in his arms.

Scaramouche was quick to catch you, hoisting you up into his arms dearly. “I do hope you’ll come to understand,” he said softly, cradling your unconscious form in his arms. Making sure not to crush your tail when carrying your legs, he looked past the mountains, sigh resting on his lips.

Because Scaramouche liked to have control of the things he held dear. Like keeping all your valuables neat and tidy in a closet, he was happy knowing you were safe and stable in that spot you always sat on.

And he couldn't have you moving could he?

[tobi-momo]

nobody seemed to hear us, but we said it.

PROLOGUE | MASTERLIST | CHAPTER 02

— synopsis. back from Miyagi for a simple month, a welcome back party reignites the one relationship he wasn’t expecting. yours. it was obvious you hadn’t forgotten about what happened in high school, neither did he, but maybe he could mend the relationship back together. could he?

— warnings. cursing | drinking | implications of smoking (not from any of the characters, not depicted either) | kinda poor writing

— word count. 1.3k+

The alcohol was boring. The bitter taste of the IPA he took occasional sips of made his tongue sour and his eyes squint in annoyance. Everyone around him had been enjoying the event a lot more than him, he could see from the blaring music and the dancing and the shot-taking in the background of it all. It was boring. It was all so boring.

He nonchalantly shook girls off of his arm as they try to prop their breasts up and caress his bicep, “just wanting to dance”, and he rolled his eyes at the comments that his teammates (Koganegawa) throw at him, telling him he needs to lighten up, or he just needs to drink a little more to loosen out a bit.

“C’mon, Tsukki, just one dance?” A random girl had pleaded while hanging off his arm. Her lip poked out in a pout and her cheeks were red from the alcohol, but there was nothing in her eyes. He wondered if he had missed the gleam of desire or the sharp tint of lust in her pupils, but one glance confirmed that she just wanted to be with somebody for the night. He figured she was probably lonely, something he would never admit to.

“I’m good.” He returned his sights to the wall in front of him, half-covered in bouncing people and red Dixie cups being held in tight hands. He felt her hand slack down and her eyes roll, a grunt of irritation seeping into his hearing as she left. It was probably for the better, though.

He looked around briefly, only seeing his teammates either jumping around—Kyoutani, who grumped on the chair across the room—or people he had never seen in his life that just wanted to have a good time. If he didn’t see anyone he had met prior to leaving, what was the point of being here at all?

That was when he realized the hotel room got a little crowded as people kept entering, and he wondered if they might get kicked out if this continued. As he leaned against the wall, he questioned himself. He liked to do that. Maybe he should just leave. Although it would be a hard task, squeezing himself between sweaty bodies and he knew he’s probably going to get whipped in the face with hair and a couple of arms, but the air was getting too hot and he couldn’t breathe the same way with all the smoke in the air. So he got off against the wall and placed his half-empty beer bottle down on the dresser beside him, taking his jacket away from hanging on his arm and puts his arms through the sleeves, turning his torso sideways to walk out of the crowd with his body still intact. He cracked the door open, which surprisingly, there was no one before him in the hallway before he shut it behind him.

He could breathe again.

It was refreshing, even though the air wasn’t exactly chilly, it felt nice going down his esophagus and clearing his lungs. All he had to do was find his mother’s place, now. He walked down the hallway towards the elevator, pressing the L button before he backed up against the wall and waited for the doors to slide closed.

He wasn’t expecting anyone to stick their hand through the metal gates, but nevertheless, unexpected things happen all the time in the life of Tsukishima Kei, like the one time Kyoutani tripped over his shoelaces during practice before he jumped up to hit the ball, falling on his face in front of the whole team. He chuckled at that. The person who had been stumbling inside the metal box was heaving, frantically picking up their stuff as what he guessed they dropped just now—he wasn’t paying attention as he recalled a certain memory.

“Shit,” they whispered as they bent down to pick their phone up off the ground. They stood up after grabbing what they needed and flattened their clothes, then leaned against the elevator frame. He looked over with a newfound curiosity, his head tilted to the side while his eyes scanned over what they were wearing. Nothing extravagant, he noted as his eyes scooted upwards.

It was only when they lifted their head to say sorry that he lost his train of thought. Completely stumped, was he. Eyes wide with his breath slowed down almost to a complete stop, he stared.

And so did you.

• • • • • •

“You promise to love me forever, Tsukki?” You question with your hands carrying his, your eyes beading with excitement. He looked at you like he was nervous and he didn’t know what to say, his fingers curling in your palms and sweating a bit. Though, when he looked at you, he couldn’t stop the way your smile bled into his veins and rushed through his entire body, placing one of his own on his face.

He takes a deep breath and readjusts himself in your grip, “I promise!” He shouts it with determination, relishing in your giggles and throwing your hands up in the air with him.

The adults that surrounded you two, his parents and yours, clapped for you as if it were a link in matrimony. They cheered and laughed with you, praising you both for “being the luckiest people on Earth”. He smiles again, believing every word they said all the while holding your hand in his.

Lucky. Was that really what you were?

“Shit,” you mumbled again, only this time it came out as if you hadn’t seen something for a long time. He supposed he couldn’t blame you for that. “Ah, Tsukishima,” you marked awkwardly, dealing with the shocked stare he handed to you. “What-what are you doing here?” You stuttered over your words with an inhale as you get a grip on the event that just had to happen right now.

“Party.” He uttered out.

“What? You, a party? No way,” you offered a smile.

“Uh, I was just leaving,” he clarified, finally getting a grip on his vocal cords. “What floor?”

“Oh, just the Lobby, I’m heading home.” Your head turned back to the wall before you, waiting for the doors to close again.

“You still live here?” He muttered, a confused brow creasing his skin.

“Huh?” You turned your head again as the doors shut, thankfully not hard enough to cause whiplash, “yeah, I do. Pretty boring, right?” You chuckled it off, your lungs suffocating in the uncomfortable atmosphere. “I just haven’t had anywhere to go since college, so. But!” You raised a finger, not to let him jump to conclusions. “I have my own home. The market here is pretty cheap and I didn’t want to live with my mom.”

He nodded in understanding, finally allowing his neck to guide his head face-forward.

“What about you? I heard you joined a professional volleyball team, I’ve seen you on TV.”

“You’ve watched me play?” Even if your faces were turned away from each other, you knew exactly what his face looked like at that exact moment. You cursed yourself for it.

“Only a little bit, when I don’t have anything else to watch.” Did that come off as mean?

“I see. Well—”

The elevator dinged and the doors glided open with a crowd on the other side, rushing inside the box. You both dashed out of it, observing the rest of the passengers press practically all the buttons there was on the dashboard and argue over what food they wanted for dinner. Your heads slowly reclined back to each other, the same thing dressing both of your features. People.

A smug smile quirked the corners of his lips up before he turned around, walking towards the exit of the building. You slightly frowned at his hurry to get away from you, this feeling of something unresolved rising in your stomach.

“Hey,” you called over, watching his body halt and switch directions. “Wanna have a couple drinks?” You asked politely, raising your shoulders, “catch up?”

He nodded. Maybe the beer won’t taste that bad, he thought to himself while he waited for your legs to line up with his.

—author's note. HI IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE AND THE FIRST CHAPTER TOO 😩 ive been swamped in school work and im just trying to get caught up. im trying to make this story as captivating as possible, (yes i havent finished writing it, im that impulsive) so dont be afraid to send me suggestions! (i already have one and y/n is an artist 😌 - painter to clarify)

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[galaxy-minecart]

tango hermitcraft or branzy for ask game?

Omg!!! Im gonna do both of them cause im afraid i wont get more asks plus i love them

Hermitcraft Tango

First impression: Gonna be honest i dont remember my actual first impression of him cause that happened back when i was watching season 6 and my memory is Bad. I probably thought he seemed cool.

Impression now: THE BLORBO EVER. This man is a cartoon villain and a squeaky toy and some kind of weird bird/cat all rolled in to one. Incredible. Iconic. Showstopping. Some of the technical talk goes over my head but i never miss a video.

Favorite moment: BIG MOON FINALE. THAT STILL FUCKS ME UP SO BAD. Ive had a fic idea about it living in my brain since the day his finale video came out but havent written it (yet)

Idea for a story: The fic idea i mentioned starts with Tango floating out in space injured and alone until season 9 begins. He's out there and alive through all the time between 8 and 9. When s9 begins... he struggles to move on and recover from it all.

Unpopular opinion: I'm not sure if i... have any? I've seen so many different things about him that im not sure if any of my ones are unpopular

Favorite relationship: TEAM ZIT no doubt about it.

Favorite headcanon: His hair flares up in flames when he feels strong emotion

Lifesteal Branzy

First impression: Holy SHIT i was not expecting him to be such a pathetic wet cat of a guy why did no one tell me about this hes more of a court jester than clownpierce could ever be

Impression now: Okay okay okay he's still pathetic as all hell but what the FUCK is up with this mf and Trust. He's got this whole Thing where he proves his trust in people and makes them prove their trust in him only to stab them in the back seconds later. And like. He betrays EVERYONE he's allied with several times over. Except for clown.

Favorite moment: It's gotta be either when he killed Spepticle and betrayed Vitalisy or when he accidentally exploded Clown's house with a creeper

Idea for a story: Branzy picking through the ruins of his destroyed castle after the cleansing, not necessarily regretting what happened (especially because he managed to get back to 10 hearts) but reflecting on his allies, his friendships, his sacrifices, and where he is now. Tracing his fingers over four specific hearts on his arm and wondering what it was that made him worth that.

Unpopular opinion: I'm not familiar enough with what the popular ones are to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favorite relationship: His friendship with Rek for SURE. Yes i started watching him after seeing a bunch of clownzy stuff on my dash and i do love their dynamic but the whole trust and betrayal thing rek and branzy have going on makes me lose my mind. Branzy what do you MEAN "It's a whole lot harder to get even when you're at odds" what do you MEAN "I would choose my friend over hearts any day" BRANZY YOURE SAYING THAT ABOUT CLOWN BUT WHERE IS REK. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA CHOSE THAT FRIEND OVER HEARTS? BRANZY YOUR FUCKED UP FRIENDSHIP. BRANZY.

Favorite headcanon: He uses a cane :)

[elytrafemme]

uhm 👉🏽👈🏽 so okay uHHH number 10 and 60 ( my question is: what’s something positive that’s happened to u recently :D )

10. Do you friends or family know about your Blog?

So one of my IRL friends, my best friend of like fuck it must be 7 or so years by now maybe 6 probably something like that, follows this blog but xe is literally never on tumblr so xe has not seen any of my inane ramblings. I should text xem I'll do that in a sec

Aside from that my GF knows that I have a blog but I havent said the URL so when we want to send tumblr posts to each other we just take shitty photos of our laptop screens so its all pixelated and shit then text one another

everyone else no no no no NO aboslutely NOT

60. What's something positive that's happened to you recently?

hm. huh. well I wrote a lot of words for CS today which was really nice and yeah I had other shit to do but the amount I wrote means I'm pretty much clear from having to stress about CS for at least a few days so I'll have time to do other stuff. so that was pretty lovely.

i dunno dude. I think everything is positive pretty much. I've been in a weird space bc being slightly off physically kind of does that to you, at least to me, no matter how frequent it happens I sitll get thrown off when I'm physically unwell. but like. there are birds outside and lovely songs to listen to and I was on a VC with some friends yesterday and I got to just listen to them tell stories and I really love when people tell stories. and my mom folded up a pair of linen pants I really like when I threw them off yesterday presumably delirious and my sister helped me open up a box of pudding and my mutual texted me a link to a really beautiful play. and it was sunny this morning and it might be sunny tomorrow but if it isn't than the flowers will be full of water and keep living. I haven't given up on learning the guitar yet. mother just came in to tell me what pain meds to take tonight

anyway point being. I dunno how to answer that because it doesn't always feel like something strongly positive has stuck out to me but like everything is positive. the shitty things are negative obviously but there is positive stuff in every corner. and there's only shitty stuff sometimes. and the positive stuff doesn't go away when it gets shitty. so no matter how apathetic I get there's a lot

sorry this is a very philosophical answer I dunno I just have difficulty naming one positive thing that's happened. I've been thinking about how much I love my friends and how painful and lovely that is it's like breathing you know? maybe that's my no. 1 positive thing. I guess I just hope they know and maybe they don't yet but either way it's good. we'll all get there eventually.

also extra positive thing but you've said like just a few days ago you were a bit intimidated interacting but you've been in my asks a LOT and that's been really nice so that's extra good. one of my favorite things in the world. when people see me as the circus clown fool i am and are less afraid. i dunno I think you're cool I think the world is cool we should all go to a river and skip some stones Im very bad at that though.

[suffocating-sound]

3,4,8

3. rant. just do it

oh geez okay its gonna be a really disconnected stream of thought, though.

can this pandemic go fuck itself already i havent had a single moment of happiness since may and finals week is here and i feel like dying and i look gross and i feel gross and life is a nightmare. my stupid fucking parents wont let me talk to my girlfriend and thank FUCK i decided to do the decietful thing and make a tumblr account after they deactivated my old one, this time i hid it better. emma and i havent seen each other in over 7 months, minus one time in may when i got to tell her happy birthday, and ive been so close to suicide so many times in my life, which she’s helped with so much. im so incredibly touch starved yet almost even more so sensorily sensitive and i dont know what to do with myself. today i had an anxiety attack because the school speakers made a really loud noise and that among the visual snow and the fact that im famous in my family for taking things way too literally leads me to believe that maybe im a bit autistic? i hate my stupid fucking face and my body and i hate that i dont know who or what i am yet and i hate that people keep telling me im too young for so many things like figuring out who i am and having a fucking political opinion. my band is unstable and we have only three members soon to be two and now im thinking ill never be able to do what i want in life, im not happy and i never will be. things wont work out with emma how we want it too. but maybe im just paranoid, maybe im just sick. im living a sick life that most people call privelege and theyre kinda right but im still sicker than i can cope with. i hate my voice and how its too low and hollow. i hate my hair because it never does what i want it too. i love emma because she’s made such an impact on my life. most of my friends wouldnt give two shits if i was dead, but the people i’ve met on tumblr care about each other almost more than they care about their fandoms, and my parents had the audacity to say that tumblr is toxic. no. reddit is toxic. i was on reddit for a bit and it’s fucking vile. my parents know my brother is on reddit, why dont they tell him to get off it? nothing makes sense. i can’t separate thoughts from emotions, i barely feel them anyways anymore, and the thoughts are so vicious that if any of you got a glimpse into my head you would be too scared to talk to me ever again. which brings me to probably what im gonna wrap up with is my fear of being alone, but not being alone, its deeper than that, im afraid of falling out of love, whether platonic or romantic love, im afraid of growing apart from somebody to the point where all either of us are is just a memory in the back each other’s minds that we visit occationaly for the nostalgia, im afraid of when those memories will fade, im afraid of not being there for someone when they need it, im afraid of being there but not doing anything, im afraid of someone rejecting my help and then disappearing leaving me to live on in their shadow, im afraid of living in someone’s shadow. im afraid of my memories. they hurt. even the good ones. it hurts.

4. do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

well nice change of topic after that haha

im not sure about this one. on one hand, i think its okay, because theyre two separate entities, and you don’t need to like the person to like their music/art. on the other hand, in liking their music/art, you’re indirectly supporting the person that you dislike, in addition to the fact that a lot of art is a reflection of the artist’s soul. so this one is complicated.

8. how many accounts do you follow?

exactly 260.

thanks for the ask!

sorry for the depressing rant. :/

[illusionlockarchive]

pazam: a mess, truly a mess

so i usually dont do these kind of posts, i guess you could say its a call out of some sort? but i never liked that word, i prefer rather to just compile sources on WHY people would believe that a certain person is not truly as nice and understanding as they seem. consider this more of a psa post, detailing on whats going on with pazam on the sfm community, why so many people are against them.

So, a while back, tumblr user jymble made a post on the main tag stating that pazam was transphobic. they linked back to this post, which contains screenshots of pazam in a group chat stating that they do not feel comfortable with the idea of trans people. now, this did happen 9 months ago, true. however, for the record, pazam is already an adult, 24 years old, so they should have some tact. and as further and more recent events will show, they actually havent changed that much at all, at least not as they claim.

the screenshots should be in the post, but here is a transcript

[Screenshot one]

Pazam:

What????? Why?????

I literally HAVE NOT been doing ANYTHING malicious to them

And if it did I apologized

Yes I do have discomfort about them but I keep it to myself

Why are you doing this????

[End screenshot one]

‘Them’ here refers to trans people in general. Notice the defensive and victimizing stance they almost immediately take upon being confronted about their feelings on trans people.

[Screenshot two]

elliott:

of COURSE you dont

sammaku:

Like specifically

Elliott hush

Pazam:

This whole concept of transness and changing your gender physically

I hate to say it again but it weirds me out and it makes me question my own gender which flings me into anxiety, depression, and obsession

sammaku:

Its fine to not understand but are you willing to learn about it

Pazam:

I don’t want to talk about this anymore

sammaku:

That depression anxiety and obsession just comes with gender issues

(the rest of the text is cut off)

[End Screenshot two]

notice once summaku asks them if they would at least be willing to learn about it, pazam immediately deflects it by saying they dont want to talk about it anymore.

[Screenshot three]

Pazam:

Seriously??? That’s all it takes????

Wow I’m a moron

I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused to you

@.aziraphale @.elliott @.sammaku

I just don’t get this stuff period

And I’ve gotten into trouble with this stuff before

I’ll probably never understand it for the rest of my life but I’ll try to be more tactful around y’all

Especially since you’re all young

And I’m like an adult

[End screenshot three]

While at first this would seem like they had finally learned their lesson and apologized, the things they add on after the @s become quickly worrying. Not only do they admit to ‘have gotten into trouble with this stuff before’, meaning they have probably shown their transphobia in other places and been called out, but they also stand firmly on the fact that they will never understand it or ‘get’ it.

And of course, as jymble points out, the implication that the people they were talking to were only acting like that because they were young.

A while after this post was made, Pazam had posted an apology, and went onto contact jymble asking for the post with the evidence of their transphobic to be taken down. The reason? They were afraid people would see it and think they were still transphobic and not give them a chance.

In this more recent post, you can see the conversation play out between Pazam and jymbles. Long story short, Pazam feels that it’s unfair that that post is still up after they apologized, and jymble of course said they would rather not take it down, people deserve to know what they did and take their own conclusions, even if that involves avoiding them. How does Pazam respond? By flat out deleting the apology post. I’d love to show the apology post to give you both sides of the story but I cannot anymore, because Pazam in a very bizarre move just deleted it because they got mad a trans blogger wouldn’t take down their post with proof.

Here’s the transcript of the screenshots:

[Begin Conversation]

rebloggidy (Pazam’s personal):

I’m by no means transphobia-free after learning what I’ve done but at least I know my actions and am making an effort to be a better person towards trans people.

rebloggidy:

Hi again. So I hate to be that person but would it be ok if you took down that post about the transphobia claims? I know it took me 9 months to apologize but if people only see your side of the story and not realize the post I saw they’ll take it out of context and still think I’m transphobic. Do you understand?

jymble:

... i already told you im not taking down the post.

[jymble sends a screenshot of her own message in a previous conversation, the screenshot reads as follows:

however, i dont think im taking the post down, nor am i entirely comfortable with you interacting with me either. people deserve to know how you acted with this stuff, until youre really and truly *better* with it instead of just trying, and i was a direct target of it]

jymble:

you oughright told me "im by no means transphobia-free", word for word sorry, but i told you before. im not taking the post down.

rebloggidy:

I remember that. But what I'm trying to say to you is that if people who read it out of context will immediately think I'm still transphobic without the other side of it (my comment)

And I don't want people to think that in the future

jymble:

if people make assumptions without looking at the entire situation, thats on them

i am not deleting the post and thats final. people have a right to know what youve done, and they have a right to be uncomfortable

rebloggidy:

I'm ready to take down my post because frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to justifiy something that I did 9 months ago, and that people grow and learn even not 100% during that time and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still into smile for me and feel free to make a blacklist of my name so anybody who rbs my work on your dash can have it hidden or something.

Take care.

[End conversation]

a lot to unpack here, but perhaps most notable is when jymble simply stands her ground and tells pazam she wont take down the post, pazam straight up decides, without being told to or anything, that they should take down their apology. later on, they made a post stating why they deleted the post, and saying they had ‘been forced to’.

I also would love to link it here, but as of now of writing this, like, not even an hour or so after I had seen that post, it got deleted. The only memory I have of it is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about Pazam, in which I copypasted a fragment from that post that read:

“ So for those wondering where the apology post went, I was forced to delete it. I wanted to archive it in some way so I could pull it up for reference, but there was no way I could. Also I didn’t really want to see it every time on my blog because quite honestly it’s upsetting to look at.”

There are some lies and twisting of truths here. Pazam wasn’t forced to delete it, they decided they should do it as a way to somehow get back at jymble. And the excuse that it was upsetting for them to look at is just inexcusable, what matters most, letting people know of what youve done and that youre sorry, or just never addressing the situation?

But, well, I’m just hoping you’ll take my word for it. As you see, Pazam has officially deleted ANY traces of acknowledging this situation on their blog.

This worries me. If Pazam is truly as concerned that they will be seen as transphobic as they claim, why are they deleting anything that could give them a chance of showing their own side of the story?

Now, that is the end, for now, of Pazam’s history with transphobia. However! It is not the end for some other very shady things.

Namely, Pazam has consistently whitewashed characters from Smile For Me, specially Kamal, and when called out on it, simply deletes the asks.

Want to know how I know this?

I sent them an ask myself. I had come across this picture of Boris and Kamal:

And I knew that this wasn’t right. I can understand using light colors and doing watercolor, but if they can make Boris’ hair brown and vivid enough, why not Kamal? He looks like another character completely, or like he’s deathly sick! 

So I sent them an anonymous ask, perhaps a bit exhasperated, true, and my wording could be better. It went something like: “i am begging you to draw kamal with darker skin”.

I waited, checked. But nothing came of it. They never answered it.

Pazam flat out ignored when they were told they had drawn a canonically brown man with skin way too light. Not even a lone text post saying ‘hey anon, i dont agree with you’ or ‘hey anon im sorry it wont happen again’. Nothing. No word, no opinion.

And with this situation going on with them evading responsibility, I can’t say I’m fully surprised.

And, yet another thing. People had expressed concern over the fact they had drawn their Flower Kid, who is 17, in very intimate and close positions with Dr. Habit. It included nuzzling faces, cuddling in bed together, wearing his coat...

And they did hear the claims this time. As of now, their Flower Kid is 24, according to them.

Except... They do not look 24. At. All.

this is a 12 year old. at best. short body, stubby legs, big head. those are all attributes of a very young character, usually children. like, legitimately, thats how childrens anatomy is in real life. the younger the person, the bigger their head is in proportion to their body.

We have already had an adult trying to justify drawing their flower kid who barely looked like an adult if at all in intimate situations with Habit. Let’s not let it slide by again.

And yes, I’m aware Pazam claims that those pictures were not supposed to be interpreted as romantic, ‘only platonic fluff’ and that they intend to keep it that way, but I have talked to my boyfriend who is a survivor and he said it very well could be a case of someone just trying to cover their tracks.

BUT, all that being said, maybe this one particular instance could be just us being wary. Still, it does not diminish all that they have done, specially ignoring the whitewashing claims.

What you are going to do with this information, I do not know. Maybe you don’t care and will keep reblogging their content. Maybe you’re disgusted by them. But I’m just here to give you the facts. Personally though, I’m not willing to give them much of a chance after the way they’ve behaved. They are 24 years old, three years older than me, and I think I could do a better job of handling a situation like this, frankly.

[thefeckisthis]

being single and open relationship

hellooo lovely people. hope you are all well, sane and well fed. lately i did not write quite often, been reading a lot and gaming. life is not particularly interesting so there is not much going on.

even tho these are different times people still talk, chat and i’ve seen many guys making statuses how girls are not posting selfies now all the beauty salons are closed, making fun of them. well there are not many of you fuck boys around anymore either eh, hard to make some effort when you can’t ‘’score’’ and disappear? or you’re stuck with your girlfriends so its harder?

leave the girls alone, live your own life and mind your own business. even tho the number of fuck boys has drastically dropped, there are still people who make some effort and talk to other people. i’m not saying this only happened to me in the past few months, people keep asking me this all the time.

so why am i single?

im not super young anymore, im in that age where most of my generation is already married and are having their first or even second kid. not me tho, thank you but i’ll pass.

guys usually ask ‘’how can girl like you be single?’’... may i ask you, what kind of girl is that? i know they usually refer to the thing that im beautiful or good looking (in their words not mine) and i keep wondering what does someones looks have to do with someone being single or in relationship? does that mean everyone who is in relationships is beautiful or if youre beautiful you have to be in a relationship? someone please enlighten me. thank you.

on the other hand, some people think i still love some certain people and haven’t moved on emotionally and things like that and that is so not true. i dont have any ‘leftover’ feelings for anyone and i dont like anyone romantically at the moment (and on daily basis i dont like people in general, thats another story tho haha). someone being single for long time doesnt mean they cant get over someone from their past. i kind of pride myself on getting over people quicker than most people, that doesnt mean i cant develop feelings. i can, im just way more careful with that. also, that doesnt mean i never truly liked them (havent loved anyone in a very long time hahaha) its just i dont tend to dwell on it for long. that person is not in my life anymore, why would i spend more time thinking about them when it wont affect my present?

i close that chapter in my life and just move on. not meaning for it to sound as a sob story or trying to make people feel pity for me, every time i have had started to develop some feelings for someone it backfired. made me develop trust issues and i openly admit it. and every time it backfires at me it makes it slightly worse and worse and leaves scars and honestly makes me regret ever developing any feelings. it all developed in like a defense mechanism making me want to do it again less and less.

as ive said, this is not a sob story and im not looking for people to feel sad about me. that is definitely not the only reason why im single but it is a part of it.

i chose to be single. i love being single. i have grown to love myself so much that i dont require to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled or to feel ‘’whole’’. if you find someone you fall in love with that person should not be your second half because you are one whole on your own, that other person should be a beautiful addition to your life, not someone to fill in the gaps. and if you break up you should still be able to feel complete and happy. dont think i am in celibate or i dont meet people when im single. the amount of people thinking if youre single youre not having sex is ridiculous. like seriously people, it 2020, you dont have to get into relationship just to have sex. to think that in this era of fuckboys, internet dating and all that crap... cmon like

explanation is not my strong side so im sorry if i dont fully explain something. relationships and feelings for me are... good and bad. i like them and i dont like them. to me the concept of traditional relationship is like a cage. i dont have freedom (at least not the way i want) that i want, and all the ‘’obligations’’ (cant remember the term that would better explain it). sure, when you like/love someone you usually talk all the time, tell them what you do, where you go, but as an introvert sometimes i just want to shut the whole world out and be left alone for more than a day if that is how i feel. by nature im curious and love to explore, whether it is myself or the world around me and the traditional relationship ‘’wouldn’t allow’ that, its looked down on. why do you want to try something new if you already, lets put it this way, have someone by your side?

but like yes, surely that person can fulfill me both physically and emotionally, what if someone can add to it in a different way, why would i deny myself of that pleasure?

open relationship is something would be something that would be more of my liking. do i believe it is possible to love one person fully and still want to try something with other person? definitely yes.  it would start probably as exclusive until the mutual trust and understanding is achieved then we can add to it. and yes, its adding to what we already have, not replacing, not changing, not cheating - adding. that absolutely doesnt mean that the main partner is not enough, its just expanding the current experience. i was in a serious relationship where i loved the person so much and i did mention the possibility of open relationship and it wasnt accepted well and no judgement, it is not for everyone, we all dont seek for same things.

humans are creatures with needs and i believe that satisfaction can come from different people in different ways and that doesnt diminish the value of primary partner. rather than always feeling caged and limited,‘’scared’’  and suppressing your needs, you get the freedom to explore, to broaden your horizons. open relationship is not same as cheating  as long as both partners are aware of the nature of the relationship and mutually agree on that, at the end of the day you always end up with them.

dont get me wrong, im not out there actively looking for relationship, im just living in the moment. those kind of things happen on their own and should not be forced, and now days anything that is not according to some standard norms is looked down on. as well, i am perfectly happy on my own, i chose to be single and im loving it. im the main person for myself, i love myself and i am thriving. absolutely enjoying my life.

i dont feel sad or lonely or of any less value than your average person just because im single, not at all. this also made me selfish in a way, i want all the experiences for myself and my enjoyment and i dont want to limit them to make someone else happy or secure.

there are of course more reasons than these mentioned, if youre curious please do leave a question, dont be afraid! :D (my priorities in life are usually not focused on finding a partner)

 if youre not happy on your own and with yourself, how are you happy in relationship? so dont go asking people why are they single and think they are sad because of it and feel sorry for them, people do not have same needs and wants in life like you do. at the end of the day, the person who you should be most mindful of is you, your thoughts and your life. make sure you are happy with yourself because that is the person you have to live with 24/7. and once you are happy with the person you are, then you wont have the need to ‘worry’ about the others,

[mieczyhale]

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 

my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 

my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them   

[mikiruma]

okay i'm snapping what the hell is saints row about. who's the dude with the giant titties you keep thirsting over and who's the mcdonalds emo. i need some answers bc i don't know shit.

ill edit this w a readmore bc it got Very wordy and im on mobile but i promise you. this series is a mess, i live for it, i could go ON abt it for days but this response was long enough fhwkfhejhfnd

1) so basically the premise in most of the games is like. you are a member (leader as of sr2) of a street gang (the third street saints!) and though the story is tweaked slightly for each installment, the overall goal is the same- control different neighborhoods in your city, squash the other gangs, be badass. i *call* it a grand theft auto clone but tbh i havent played gta, the gameplay's similar enough though. the first two games are more uhh... grounded? than the later 3? the plotlines are darker, deaths & events are more fucked up in a heavier/moral sense, etc etc. but the last 3 are way more silly i think. the entire series is kinda packed with crude/sexual humour and essentially responding to a punch with a flamethrower, but it goes over the top in the newer games which is.. why i always liked em lol.

but its just funny in general to think of the plot progression. oh i witness a gang war so im recruited in a gang whose current leader... wants to end gang violence. oh that leader tried to kill me and arrested/killed everyone else so i am going to go apeshit on this city until i find him and kill him back. oh somehow we are international celebrities and do crime as publicity stunts, i am gonna ask mayor burt reynolds to help us with this zombie invasion. oh now i am president of the united states, time to get the earth blown up by an alien warlord and do it with whats left of my gang every survivor plus an ai in a ball.

ive seen Some Shit abt the general timeline but tbh ive always tried to piece it together like. ok these games take place in/around whatever year they were released. besides sr4 which would be... 2019 if my math is correct? i just felt like mentioning that bc i am not touching any canon timeline

OH ALSO the main reason i even got into the series. i literally bought sr3 because of the character customization. the body mods could.... use a lot of work imo but what you can do for your protags face is BANANAS... and changing voice pitch in sr4 was fun too bc male 1 was ok for my boss but having it just a teensy bit higher REALLY made it

tldr; i cant help you there i am just along for this ride

2) im assuming you mean johnny gat not bc theres any competition but like. theres so many dudes like that in this game

his role is actually pretty consistent in that he stays a lieutenant, and hes one of the rare characters (besides. the protag i think?) who's been in every single game. he's the designated badass of the saints and is really good at coming up with plans that involve lots of guns or blowing stuff up. if i typed everything i liked abt him right now this post would be a mile long but trust me he is an excellent man, even tho he might be the scariest motherfucker ever and i probably would be afraid of him irl, he fully deserves that. hes loyal to the saints and his boss which i absolutely respect. still bitter abt sr3 "killing" him bc cmon. he cannot die. does that count in the spoiler? its the literal first mission after u customize your character so i dont think so// whatever ive been posting untagged spoilers for the other games bc theyve been out for a decade

3) IM STILL LOSING MY MIND OVER THAT SJSDHADDHSI mcdonalds emo.... thats his legal name now....

but seriously matt miller is like. one of my fav characters from sr3. he's the leader of one of the rival gangs, the deckers, and they specialize in hacking & money laundering and stuff like that. matt specifically is 16 in his debut game which is really funny to learn bc imagine being a ballsy ass kid repeatedly nae naeing the us government because you can.

anyway i like him bc instead of killing the other gang leaders like usual, u just fight him in a vr world and ur both sick ass dragons and he decides "actually i dont wanna go brain dead. ill give u either weapons or car discounts" then he fucks off back to england. then it lets him come back for sr4 and yall are friends now :D yes yall tried to kill each other but whats past is past. i would be his friend irl honestly hes great. also im still firm on the autistic matt train bc of how often he shares his love for nyte blayde & im WEAK over the boss eventually getting into it as well

[anarchistsuggestion]

hey, vaccinate your kids you jerks!!!

thanks for coming to my essay! now that i have your attention, i think we should stop talking about anti-vaxxers like theyre all backwards hyper-religious dumbasses. like, im frustrated too, and i agree that "personal/religious reasons" should not allow someone to keep their kids unvaccinated. furthermore, as an autistic person, i despise the myth that vaccines cause autism. i especially hate that it scares people into avoiding vaccines, because theres nothing wrong with me.

but ridiculing these people will only make the problem worse, and here's why: i think that a lot of anti-vaxxers and their communities are used to feeling like the most important aspects of their cultural identities are universally mocked or demonised (im not qualified to say whether these feelings reflect reality in every case, but either way im just talking about feelings, ie, what people think we believe about their culture). for instance, my only knowledge of amish people comes from jokes ive seen others make about them. yes, none of these jokes were very serious, and its easy for me to laugh at them because im not amish, but despite my low empathy i can understand that it just feels bad to hear a whole bunch of jokes about something important to you. i'll get back to this point in a moment.

anyway, i bring up the amish because in 2014, there were measles outbreaks in some amish communities in Ohio. and i think that a lot of the people who dont vaccinate their kids are used to being ridiculed for their "weird" or "new age" or "hyper-religious" or "unchristian" lifestyles, so they just see our concern as more of that mockery. we all sound the same to them, and cant you see why?

"ughh all these people ignoring science and being stubborn about vaccines because their church said--" you sound like one of those atheists. if you cant say anything productive, please stay out of the discussion. why do you act like ridiculing people will change their minds? we should be reaching out, instead.

we need to make the effort to approach anti-vaxxers in a way that distinguishes us from those who only converse with them to mock them.

i want more people to understand that the best way to change someone's mind when they're defensive is by listening. you need to be willing to accept whatever they might rant about, and respect that, even if their fears seem ridiculous, even if their fears are rooted in ableism, their fears still terrify them. thats why theyre called fears. you can validate someone's feelings of anxiety and confusion without validating their bigotry, and you must be willing to accept that this is work. this is difficult. it's much, much harder than yelling your opinions. it's exhausting, and sometimes it doesn't even pay off. sometimes you just can't convince somebody, and you have to be able to accept that.

if this seems too hard for you, i have good news: you do not have to do it. this kind of thing is not for everyone, and it's okay if you just don't want to. this doesn't have to be your responsibility.

i only ask that you stop making things worse by (performatively, in the case of yall who arent in danger of dying/losing a loved one to a preventable disease) mocking anti-vaxxers, because we are the ones who need something from them. we are asking them to face their fears (which were sometimes instilled in them very early in their childhood) for the good of humanity. i don't know about all of you, but i'd be hesitant at best to face even my third worst fear (spiders) for the sake of strangers who regularly mock my culture and heritage, and i know for a fact that most spiders cannot harm me!

this is natural. this is human. it is easy to dismiss things you dont understand, and it's even easier to dismiss them when all the scientific evidence agrees with you. however, your evidence does not make these people's experiences and fears less real for them. it does not lessen the effect their fear has on their choices. knowing that a tarantula won't hurt me if i follow certain guidelines will not stop me from shaking and having a breakdown if i think too hard about touching one. knowing that nothing bad would happen doesn't motivate me to go over to the science building at my college and ask to hold their fucking tarantula.

there are no shortcuts here. if we want anti-vaxxers to accept vaccines and stop putting so much effort towards keeping their children unvaccinated, we have to convince them that they don't need to be afraid of vaccines. we need to actually address their concerns. telling them their fears are ridiculous is just not convincing no matter how much scientific evidence you have. this discussion has become too performative. people just tell anti-vaxxers to vaccinate their kids, and they dont bother to address the fear that motivates their opponents. they don't care that they're asking people to trust a yelling internet stranger with their child's health.

it is inconsiderate to demand things from people without stopping to think about what you're asking for. please think about it from their point of view. if vaccines were dangerous, and they vaccinated their kids, then anything bad that happened to their kids due to the vaccines would be their responsibility. and remember, these people have not been given a convincing reason to believe vaccines are harmless. okay? they do not want to be at fault for their children getting hurt. yes, they are wrong. yes, they are frustrating. yes, they are endangering immunocompromised people like my dad, but there is a huge difference between being malicious and being misguided. please do not treat them like they set out to hurt you.

also? stop telling them to care about other people when you don't care enough about them to respect that they're doing their best with the resources they have. stop saying "i dont know how to explain to you that you should care about other people" when you really just want them to magically stop being scared. maybe you say it out of genuine frustration and bewilderment, but when everyone is saying it, it comes across like a smug 'gotcha!' phrase that excuses you from spending more energy on the debate. you can just say youre tired and stop.

i am trying to explain to you that you should care that these people have felt scammed/hurt by the medical industry enough times that they feel justified in risking the health of their whole family (assuming they even think vaccines work). you should care that theyve never been given a convincing reason to trust remedies promoted by rich strangers who make claims that sound too good to be true. the government has promoted harmful things to underprivileged people before, like milk (it took me a half hour to sift through unrelated stuff about soy milk to confirm this, so i'll go ahead and link my source). it is logical to mistrust an industry that operates for the profit of people youve never met. not everyone trusts the FDA to keep the pharmaceutical industry in check, and it's actually pretty smart to rely on direct accounts from people you know personally when you aren't sure how well something actually works, and you dont trust the ones selling it to you.

with that in mind, talking to people is probably the best way to tackle this issue, but many of you haven't bothered to compile introductory information about vaccines. you havent bothered to present these resources in a way that doesn't ridicule people who are scared. i am trying to explain to you that you shouldn't debate with people if you won't treat them like humans. i am trying to explain to you that "you dont actually care about others" is a hurtful and manipulative sentiment, and when you say it to people who are trying their best, you become part of the problem. you reinforce their mistrust. i am trying to explain to you that trusting doctors doesnt make you morally superior.

put yourself in their shoes for a moment. imagine that someone comes up to you and makes it clear that they think the choices you've made as a parent are ridiculous. they make claims about your child without offering proof, or the only proof they offer also mocks you and people like you (or they just tell you to "google it"). furthermore, they tell you that unless you give in, something bad will happen to their own children, and it will be your fault.

this is manipulative. even if you are correct, it is manipulative. demanding that someone treat their child in a way that they consider harmful is just ridiculous and i don't know why you expect people to listen to you. do you expect this to be easy? do you honestly believe that if someone isn't converted within minutes, they're just being stubborn? do you think these people know the truth, and only persist out of spite?

these questions are necessary, because many of you talk about anti-vaxxers as though the answer is 'yes.' there is a difference between being correct and treating people right. please be more aware of that line in the future, and do your best not to cross it.

oh, and by the way, if i see any of you using this year's measles outbreaks as an excuse to be hateful towards jewish people, i will block and report you. antivaxxers usually arent malicious, and if you perceive orthodox jewish antivaxxers as being worse than other antivaxxers, you need to rethink your beliefs. they arent rejecting vaccines just to hurt you. maybe theyre tired of being demonised and blamed for everything from climate change to unemployment to dead kids*, and theyre unwilling to trust random people with something as important as the health of their children when a lot of us have never bothered to listen to their struggles. (* ive seen a whole lot of people saying things that border on blood libel without quite involving blood during these discussions, so can we all agree to be careful not to do anything that resembles that shit now that ive provided a handy link about what it is? thanks)

lastly, all of this criticism of anti-anti-vaxxers is very easy for me to say because i have less of a personal stake in the issue. i know it must hurt in a way i can't currently understand to lose someone to a preventable disease. if i have made anyone feel dismissed or invalidated in this essay post, i'm sorry for doing so, and i want to make it clear that it is okay if you hate anti-vaxxers. i know their fear has hurt you, and i wouldn't ask you to pretend otherwise. i dont want to make any of you feel like you shouldn't talk about your experiences and fears. i'm just asking that, before you hit the post button, you read through your post and edit out anything manipulative or guilt-trippy. your contributions to this conversation are valuable, and i want the people youre trying to convince to be able to read them without feeling like they have to defend themselves instead of listening to you. the culture around this debate has become almost hostile, and while we dont all need to work directly with anti-vaxxers to make it better, we do all need to agree to stop making it worse.

[one-night-story]

Echoes of You (Spike Spiegel)

A/N: The formatting on this is h e l l. But when nostalgia slaps you and says “Fall in love with Spike Spiegel again.” You do as it’s says. Thus this

Roman Holiday had changed who she was so many times she didn’t remember who she was when she started. She’d been a drug lord, a spy, an informant, a bounty, a runaway. But these days, with blue and purple hair and a coat large enough to hide a pistol, she settled on being a ghost among the streets, listening and picking up information as she went. She found herself on Mars, mourning friends and paying dues. She was going to have to disappear again soon. But first, she needed food, scissors, and some hair dye; though she was uncertain what color. She tried walking into a convenience store when she ran into someone.

“Sorry about that.” The guy said. From that one comment Roman almost got whiplash. That voice shouldn’t be talking to her. That voice should’ve been dead. If not from the first time, then definitely the second time. She looked up at him and sure enough it was him. Spike Spiegel in all his blue suited, disheveled glory. And he looked just as shocked to see her. “Ro-?” He didn’t get to finish her name because she took off, sprinting in the opposite direction as fast as she could. He of course went after her, he always would, and she scaled a building to get to the roof. She pulled her pistol and waited for him to catch up.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“Ro don’t do this.”

“Tell me! Stop playing cruel tricks and just tell me!” She yelled. It couldn’t be him, it shouldn’t be him.

“Roman, it’s really me.”

“Bullshit, you died.”

“I didn’t,”

“Then you died again.”

“I’ve had worse.” He said with his trademark lazy smile. Roman almost let up at that. He still knew her weak points.

“Gimme the word.” She said, lowering her gun but not putting it away. He furrowed his brows and then figured it out.

“Lily.” He said. Roman lowered her pistol entirely and put it away. Her flower of choice. Julia had roses, she had lilies. Her whole form softened, though she was far from the Roman he used to know. Spike took a step forward to see if she’d let him and sure enough, she didn’t move. “It’s good to see you Roman. Glad to know you’re still picking up information.” He said. Roman shrugged and sat down, still keeping her distance.

“Nothing better to do on this dirt rock. You know you threw the whole operation into chaos, right? There’s a power vacuum with at least seven people trying to fill it.” She said. Spike sat across from her, a little closer than she would’ve liked, but she allowed it. She chalked it up to some primal part of her brain still wanting to keep him as close as she could. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.

“What’s next for you then? Figure you’re not gonna stick around for that mess to sort itself out.” He said as he fished out a lighter and lit the cigarette. He took a drag and offered it to Roman. She took it and copied the movement. She never smoked unless she was with Spike. Again, she chalked it up to that primal part of her brain that was still 13 years old and hoped that she still stood a chance against a far prettier half-sister.

“I cut my hair, redye it and catch a flight out of here. I’m thinking Ganymede. Or the asteroids. Hell, I could go be a small fry in Tijuana.” She said.

“And what color will it be this time?” He asked. Roman’s mood was usually determined by her hair. She changed it with regimes, mood, the music she was listening to that month, and sometimes when she felt she had no control of anything. He watched as she thought over her answer.

“Red. Probably. Or pink. Julia always thought I’d look good with pink.” She said muttering the last part.

“You would.” He said. Roman tried to not flush to the color in question, but she never did take compliments well. “I remember she was constantly trying to push you out of the shadows.”

“I like the shadows. No one judges me there. I’m useful there.” Roman argued. Spike chuckled and took a drag from his cigarette. The motion was repeated when he passed it to her to take a drag.

“Maybe, but you have no reason to stay there. Unless you wanna start working for the police.” He said.

“I could be a bounty hunter.” She said with a shrug.

“Oh no, I don’t think I could have you competing for my dinner money too.” He said with his trademark smile. Roman laughed at his comment, a real laugh. Something she hadn’t done in a while. As she laughed, Spike watched her. Her face was lit up by the beginnings of sunset and neon. Her and Julia had no personality similarities, but sometimes they did have physical ones.

“I haven’t done that in forever.” She said when she finally calmed down. Spike smiled at her. She seemed lighter now, more at ease. It was like the laughter fit had locked her into a time machine and she had shed so many years of cynicism with ease. “What about you? What becomes of the great Spike Spiegel? Now newly undeceased again.” She asked. Spike thought it over. He wasn’t certain. He didn’t know if he could go back to the Bebop. But he didn’t know any other way of life. Maybe just him and Jet could strike out again. Maybe he needed to go forward. Maybe he needed to disappear.

“No idea. Maybe dye my hair and change planets.” He said. Roman rolled her eyes.

“Hey, don’t steal my one thing.” She said. Spike chuckled and actually gave her a genuine smile. They were silent for a minute, casually passing the cigarette between themselves. For a moment they felt like teenagers again, sharing cigarettes and sharing a moment of uncertainty. At least that’s how Roman always felt in moments like these. Until finally she broke the tension.

“Annie told me you came to see her.” She said as she looked down.

“Yeah. Thought I might finally kill him.”

“Ignored my bounty then.”

“Always did. Whenever it came up, no matter what the price, no matter what name you were under. I wouldn’t do that to you Roman.” He said. It felt like a whisper on the wind. Like if he said it any louder, he’d lose her like he lost Julia. Roman leaned into this, allowing one of her knees to knock into his. She needed this. She needed him. Outside of just that primal part that told her she was once 13 and crushing on the one person in the whole galaxy she couldn’t have.

“I look at you and I think… god what have we done with our lives? And what did it get us?” She said with what Spike could only describe as the truest form of sadness he’s ever seen from her. Roman Holiday kept all her cards close to her chest until one day, she’d die. But now? He felt like he was peering through a brick in her wall. “I loved my sister more than anything in this life. And I chose her happiness over mine, time and time again.” She scoffed and leaned back on her hands. “God I can’t believe I’m saying this.”

“What?” He asked. He wasn’t sure what was coming next, but curiosity killed him to know.

“A million years ago, she said to me “this one’s mine.” So, I stood by.” She said. “And I knew I shouldn’t do anything, I should just leave and pretend I never met you. But Julia,”

“She was too kind for that.” He said as his brain was slowly putting the pieces together. He had always wondered when they were kids, even before Roman became a shadow figure, why she always seemed to fall into that point, even when Julia brought her out, or when he tried to talk to her. But now he got it. She’d been hiding pain this whole time.

“I should go.” She said. She stood up and dusted herself off. Spike stood up as well and grabbed her wrist before she could go anywhere.

“Don’t disappear again.” He said. Roman looked down at her beat up shoes, trying to hide what had just come to pass.

“You can’t ask that of me.” She said.

“Ro, you’re all I’ve got left.”

“And who’s fault is that?” She snapped. Spike wanted to get offended. But he remembered an incident when they were younger, where he’d gotten too close and she’d snapped, and he retaliated. They didn’t speak for a month. Not until Julia forced them to, and not until after he’d brought her lilies. He sighed and plucked the nearly burnt out cigarette from his teeth and passed it to her. She took a drag and then stomped it out. She was still looking down at it when Spike brought her face to look up at him. Roman unintentionally leaned her cheek into his hand, blinking at him a couple of times.

“I won’t let this be the last time I see you Roman.” He said. Spike, at his core, was a deeply sentimental person. He couldn’t lose Roman. She reached up and brought his face to hers, giving him a small, soft and what Spike could only describe as a ghost of a kiss. Like she was afraid of what fully kissing him would mean. He kissed her cheek in turn, letting it sit there a little longer than either of them expected. When they separated, they put the distance back between them. Once again, afraid of what the closeness would do to them. She tossed him a comm unit she had pocketed off some guy and he caught it with ease.

“Call that ship of yours.”

“Wouldn’t that be going backward?” He asked.

“One step backward to go miles forward? I think it’s worth it. Call them Spiegel.” She said. Spike nodded.

“Remember, pink.” He said. Roman gave him a small, soft smile and nodded.

“See you Space Cowboy.” She said as she ran off the edge of the roof, scaling down the building to go buy some scissors, some food, and some pink hair dye.

[axupodz]

30 Amazing Questions Only A Genius Could Answer.

( insert obvious clickbait thumbnail)

As requested by @judyxd26

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY MY OWN OPINION. DONT @ ME

JUST MONIKA (I see you there)

Probably Yuri. The Shy/Yandere anime trope has been used a little too much recently.

Has to be "Your Reality". I gives me the feels everytime. EVERYTIME.

"Sayo-nara" gotta be my least fav. Not because its bad or anything. It just gives me scary flashbacks of Sayori. TOO SPOOPY FOR ME.

Most afraid? Hmm, if ur talking about the jumpscares, I would say Natsuki when she snaps her neck. (DID I SAY THERE'S SPOILERS HERE?)

I would say Monika. I always try too hard for attention :3

Look most familiar?? First of all, im a dude. *LOOKING AT MALE VER DDLC CAST* ok, its either Sayori or Monika. Can't decide tbh.

I used my first name BOI. GOTTA HAVE THE FULL IMMERSION.

10/10. Despite the warnings everytime you open the game and at the game page, I never took it to consideration. Sayori's death really took me by surprise.

Sayori maybe? MC's texts during that part was deep. If deleting Monika is considered a death, I would say thats the most saddest one. Monika realised the mistakes she made and she regretted them. But it was too late as she was slowly getting deleted. On a side note: I didnt delete her in the end, her conversations were very interesting. My sister forced me to delete her tho :/

(Lets keep the next few questions short, Im trying to get some sleep 😪) Sayori: I like that she's optimistic. But she's too sensitive i'd say.

Short girls are cute. Manga IS literature. DONE.

I like that she's shy and all but im not very fond of the idea of playing with knifes. DONE.

SHE IS BEST GIRL. SHE IS THE ONLY CHARACTER THAT FEELS REAL. SHE DESERVES A ROUTE. SHE IS A GODDESS SEND FROM THE HEAVENS. SHE THICC BOI, FIGHT ME. (I should have been a little more serious😅 There is more reasons at Question 29.)

Monika's poem. DONE.

NOPE, IM A HYPROCRITE. TRIED ONCE, FAILED BADLY.

I would if I COULD ACTUALLY FINISH READING MY BOOKS FOR ONCE. *glares at the full collection of Harry Potter at the corner of the room*

Pretty often. Not enough to fix my spelling tho.

Once. The English Club at school. Pretty boring.

Like I said before, im a dude. Soo yea, MC is my only option.

Yuri. For obvious reasons.

There isnt a character that I "want" to be a guy but i'd say Sayori looks fine as both genders.

I havent seen any fanart of Monika as an animal yet. So, Monika then.

If Monika had a route I would totally pick that one. Since she doesnt, i would pick Natsuki's.

Probably Stephen King

They did such an amazing indie game last year. Can't wait for the next one.

Yuri i guess. My yandere mode becomes active sometimes :3

Actually I have. Not the best experience.

(Skip this one if you want to. It's veryyy long.WARNING, It's about to get serious) I actually sat through a good 50+ minutes talking with Monika.In that time, she tells me how every time I quit the game, she feels like she's "dying", and enters a "living Hell" full of static screaming, flashing and darkness, and despite the fact that she feels as if her mind is disjointed in this space, she's still aware enough to remember it all every time we come back. There's also the fact she's fully aware all of her "friends" are simply mindless programs lacking free-will whose sole purpose in existence is falling in love with the player.I quit and loaded up the game a few times, and she asks you multiple times to please not put her through that torment, but eventually just says she'll have to relent that you can't always have the game open.Then I kept going, and got Sayori to tell me how she's super appreciative that I took the time to get to know them all and help them with their problems (however little I actually did), and that they all loved me. Credits are rolling, and I notice that the CG's aren't being deleted, until the very ending where the entirety of the Main Menu is deleted.I fucking broke Monika's heart and she subjected herself to living in an eternal near-death hellish blackness, and still the last thing she does for me is sing me a song about how much she loves me and wishes I'd been able to love her back. Deleting her causes her pain, but she was still conscious of everything and in control of the game files. Quitting puts her in a near-death state filled with suffering.I know it's only an AR game and none of it's real, but I'm literally sitting here with tears in my eyes because no matter what you do, Monika is doomed to an existence of agony, and the last thing she believes is that we probably hated her.I can't handle that shit, man, I didn't need to know. Couldn't you even let us believe there was some solace?

The game broke me psychologically and left me traumatized for 3 days.Sayori's arc made me feel sick to my stomach and sad, Yuri's arc scared me, and Monika's arc broke my heart and made me sad again.What part of psychology makes depressing horror enjoyable? Why did I love and enjoy a game that hurts? Maybe because the characters are so real and I've grown attached to them? I don't know. Either way I love DDLC, the community, and the fan content, but I don't know why. I guess it's because the main grip of the game is the 4 girls themselves, you grow so attached to them that it feels like your losing close friends. Making characters in any video game likable is hard but this game is an example of it done right, adding along with the story makes DDLC truly an experience.( finally, im done. I need a rest rn before I have a mental breakdown)

[thestagthatlovedthewolf]

Parentdale Appreciation Week

Day 6 -  Favorite Dynamic

Fred Andrews, Alice Cooper and FP Jones!!

I want this group so much!!! This a relationship I definitely want to see and it’s something I always adore seeing in fics - I think they are just three people that would work so well together - they are so different and they have different methods, but they also all have such an ability to care and love!! I just really think they would balance and complement each other out.

Then I also already love the pairs we find here. We haven’t seen as much of Fred and Alice as I would want, but I LOVE the little times they share looks (like in the last episode), or how they care for each other as neighbors, or that sweet and soft moment in the flashback!!

Fred and FP is probably my favorite friendship in the entire show (and I see the possible romance there as well if it goes that route) - the way they protect each other and lean on each other!!! I LOVE that their relationship has healed (FP having Fred’s back on the scene with Hiram has to be one of my favorite scenes in the all show!!), but I wish we had seen more of how they rebuilt their trust on each other after the fallout. And still pissed they cut the scene where they ask to be each other’s sponsors, because that was beautiful and my heart broke ina million pieces.

Then, of course, FP and Alice!! I LOVE how we’re seeing them come to trust each other again, all because their kids came together and they got to see each other again :) I love all the complicated feelings from the past they had together and a reality Alice tried to hide from, and I always look forward to seeing how their relationship can move forward from here. 

But these three pairs is not enough, and I really want to see the friendship between this trio, and all of them having each other’s backs!!! So for today, I actually wrote a small drabble, mostly ignoring canon, because I don’t like the idea they interacted for the first time in detention, because FP and Alice, and FP and Fred (and consequently Fred and Alice) go way back... So enjoy some kid stuff!! [AO3]

Fred was tired of being left behind. Stupid FP and Alice were always doing that and it was not Fred's fault that they weren't neighbors - his stupid parents were the ones who bought the house here, instead of the Southside. His mom didn't even let him go there, she always said that FP and Alice should come over - they didn't mind (and Fred didn't either, really, but still...) - but he was mad that everyday they would come to school with stupid stories he wasn't a part of.

So tonight, after his parents checked on him and went to bed, Fred got up, arranged some pillows under the covers, like he had seen people do in the movies, and climbed out of his window, using the ladder he had smartly put under his window earlier that day. He climbed on his bike and started the ride across the town and river.

The town was quiet this late at night, and Fred didn’t like it. Not that he was scared, of course not, he was almost thirteen and he was not afraid of the dark - he was too grown up for that. But it still felt weird, the town seemed dead like this, so seeing the neon lights from Pops helped calm him down.

For some reason, after crossing the river, the silence was gone and he could see people everywhere, still moving around, and once again Fred felt weird - not scared, of course, he wasn’t a baby anymore.

He still remembered the way to the trailer park from the few times he had been over, only with his parents to pick one of his friends or both, but most times just FP, back before Alice joined them in middle school. But reaching the trailer park, he couldn’t tell which one was FP’s and he started questioning his decision, as adults and some older kids started yelling at him.

“Leave him alone, assholes,” he heard FP yell at a group of teens, running in his direction, but it didn’t stop them, as they started taunting him, and even using Junior, which he knew FP hated and had stopped using in 3rd grade.

“Fuck off,” Alice came right after, throwing the finger at the older kids, who still wouldn’t stop.

“Fred, what are you doing here?” FP asked.

“Why are you in your pajamas?” Fred couldn’t answer that, he couldn’t tell them he wanted this to feel like a sleepover and he had thought of them in their pajamas too.

“Who’s the baby, Junior?” someone yelled. “Another client for your mom, Smith?”

“Fuck off.”

“Watch your language, kid.”

“Leave them alone,” another voice said, it was a girl probably around 15 or 16, with brown hair, who seemed to hold authority over everybody else. “You okay, FP? Alice?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Yes,” Alice answered. “But I had it handled.”

“Of course. I’m sure you can kick all their butts,” she said coming closer. “Go on. I will keep your friend’s bike safe.”

“Thank you,” Fred said. “I’m Fred,” he said, offering his hand, before Alice was pulling on him.

“Let’s go.”

“Who’s she?”

“That’s Gladys. FP has a crush on her.”

“I do not.”

“You do.”

“I do not.”

“You do.”

“Shut up, Alice.”

“She seems nice,” Fred said, trying to diffuse the situation - he knew how these two got when they started arguing. “So what’s happening?”

“Nothing,” Alice answered at the same time as FP told him it was Serpent Business, and Alice kicked him again. He was brought to where they had been siting before, he could recognize their school books, only Alice’s. Fred now recognized FP’s trailer behind him, full of people inside.

“Why are you here, Fred?” she asked, pulling him between them. And no matter how he was taller than the two of them - something he felt very proud of - right now, between the two of them, he felt rather small.

“I don’t know. You just seemed to have fun and you had talked about hanging out tonight and I thought...”

“God, Fred,” Alice said, starting to laugh. 

“What’s going on?”

“It’s complicated,” FP answered, he was never good at explaining stuff and he could tell Alice didn’t want him to talk.

“Fred, we hang out, at midnight, because I can’t go home and FP can’t go home.”

“Why?”

“Because... because my mom is busy, and his dad is busy too.”

“When my parents are busy, I can just stay in my room or watch TV in the living room. I don’t get why you can’t do that.”

“Because we can’t, Fred,” FP said.

“So what do you do?”

“Most times, I try to do homework, while FP throws rocks at people or cars, until someone comes over and yells at us.”

“And when do you go to bed?”

“My mom is hopefully done around 1 am. FP will probably crash with me tonight.”

“Why? Does this happen every night?”

“Of course not,” she said.

“Would the Serpents be as lucky to get this kind of money every day...” FP murmured. “Once a month, maybe, if they are lucky. Once every two/three months is probably more correct.”

“But you have more stories.”

“Not this late. Do you know how late it is?”

“No, I was just waiting for my parents to go to bed and they took too long.”

“Come on. You should go home,” FP said. “I’m going to go get my bike.”

“Why do I need to go?”

“Because it’s late and you’re worrying your parents and I don’t want them to think FP and I are bad influences. FP would be inconsolable if he couldn’t see you.”

“I’m ready.”

“I’m taking the bike,” Alice said, taking the bike from his hands.

“No, it’s mine.”

“Penny has mine and I’m not going to ride in the back, FP. And I ride better than you.”

“You do not.”

“I do.”

“You do not.”

“I do.”

“You broke your arm riding a bike,” Fred pointed out, before they spent the rest of the night like this.

“I’ll let you go get Fred’s bike from Gladys.” That seemed to convince FP, as he went up to the older kids. “Keep guard over the bike, don’t let anyone take it, including FP. I’m just going to hide my books.”

Alice picked up her stuff and ran two trailers over - Fred guessed that was hers, it looked very much like FP’s. The garden at the front was a bit cleaner, but everything else was pretty much the same - it was just not as noisy as the Jones’ home.

“What took you so long?” FP asked as she joined them, she ignored him and got on his bike, as he took the seat on the back. 

Mom had told him it wasn’t safe for two people to ride on one bike, which was true, because he and Hal had still tried it when they were seven and Hal ended up with a scuffed elbow and his mom didn’t let him play outside for two full weeks. But FP and Alice were good at it and they didn’t fall one time.

Fred rode next to them, slowly, taking the longer path home, and they went along the town, making up stories about each house they passed, Riverdale, at least the Northside, was still quiet and deserted, but this time, with his best friends next to him, Fred didn’t feel even one bit scared - but of course, he wasn’t scared before either.

[alxvensxoul]

1-100 because im mean.

1. Are you a virgin?

I mean technically I am? I have done things but I have never been penetrated. And that sounded so wrong to say it that way but “gone all the way” made me sound twelve.

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size?

My sister does. 

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs?

I don’t think so. 

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity?

Again, technically a virgin but no because I have never been married. 

5. Do you swear under celibacy?

No

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven’t, when would you like to?

When it happens it happens. 

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex?

No

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?

My darn sister!

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission?

No. How awkward!

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

We didn’t have sex but in the backyard at home my ex boyfriend and I… explored eachother. That doesn’t sound any better. 

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

Outdoor. Car sex sounds uncomfortable. 

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not?

Not long ago..

13. Have you ever helped someone “finish”?

No

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too)

I guess? 

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too)

I don’t know

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

Nope

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

Ok so.. my sister bought me a toy. Its a little pink thing that vibrates and for the longest time I didn’t touch it. Until I did.. 

18. What is your bra/penis size?

I am a B cup. Not too much..

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?

Yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

That toy my sister bought me

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?

I imagine I would like intimate sex but who knows until you try right?

22. When was the last time you masturbated?

A couple days ago.

23. When was the last time you had sex?

I haven’t

24. When was the last time you watched porn?

Uhhh….

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last

I didn’t’ buy it, stephanie did. I don’t know what its called. 

? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

My sister bought me this little pink one. 

26. Guys: Circumsized?

N/A

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

My shoulders

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

My breasts…

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

Never tried

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?

They are pink and lacy

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

NO

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions?

NO

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

NO

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

No

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

I dont know. I don’t ever remember having one

36. Which wet dream was your favorite?

I dont remember ever having one

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

Yes

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

Dont we all have one?

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone?

No

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?

No

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?

I dunno. Something intimate with lots of room for kissing

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

No i would hate that

43. Are you into any BDSM?

Thats kind of scare. I don’t like pain so i don’t understand it. 

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

I mean sure. We all have someone we would sleep with but can’t for some reason right? Maybe they’re a celebrity. Maybe they don’t know you exist. Maybe they don’t see you that way. 

45. Turn on’s?

Tall boys, deep voices, goofy personalities

46. Turn off’s?

Smoking, being rude, being too forward

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?

Yes and I don’t have a lover so yes. 

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?

Nope to all

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?

Oh god. Probably a guy in a bathing suit. It wasn’ that weird, it just came out of nowhere. 

50. Do you like dirty talk?

I think it would be sexy

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

I am kinda loud….

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

My sister’s cat jumped out of my closet and scared me

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?

See above. Stephanie walked in and saw what i was doing. 

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?

Again, see above

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Romantic, sensual stuff. But its never very good. 

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome)

Some scary hardcore stuff stephaie showed me. 

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?

Hardcore. My sister is weird

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?

Most of it is terrible

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger?

Yep. Just a few yeard older

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?

My little pink one. Its the only one i have 

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren’t satisfied with their sex?

No

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?

No

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

nope

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you’ve had about them?

No! why would i tell them

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?

Nobody has sex like that or at least i hope not. 

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

No!

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?)

I have gotten pretty good at it but i don’t do it a lot

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?

I never have

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way)

Again, never have

70. Favorite type of oral?

I have only ever experienced one. That night in the backyard at home he.. well it was nice. But it didn’t last long. We were afraid we would get caught. It only happened that one time. 

71. Strangest sexual positon you’ve tried?

I havent

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?

No

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?

I haven’t done either but nobody is putting anything up my butt

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?

See above 

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

Submissive 

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?

No

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

I don’t have a sexual partner

78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

No i haven’t had one

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

No. That seems stupid

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?

No

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?

He probably did. My ex. 

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover’s or someone else’s?

No

83. Birth control or condoms?

Both

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?

No its weird

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?

My sister

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?

Yes

87. Do you have any STDs?

No

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?

No

89. Have you ever had sex during “7 minutes in heaven”?

No

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?

I haven’t done either but I feel like if its already in your mouth you might as well swallow it. 

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?

I rejected my sisters ex boyfriend who tried to hook up with me while they were dating

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time?

Nobody has told me they wanted to

93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?

Yep

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?

I havent yet

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone?

No

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?

I will tell Stephanie when it happens

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?

I don’t have one

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant?

Don’t have a lover 

99. Do you like masturbation?

Yes sometimes

100. (Asker’s ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes?

Honestly? Probably. I hope that doesn’t make you think differently of me.