#(through cupped hands) fight fight fight. break his heart frank

[delreykenn-punk]

it's you, it's all for you

(joel miller x fem!reader)

warnings: angst, angst, angst, Joel is emotionally damaged, age agap (reader is in his early 30s, Joel is canonical age; 56), jackson!era, mentions of sex, swearing, Joel is an asshole summary: Idk, joel and you are kind of friends with benefits but you want more, that´s it words: 1.5k

You had a kind of relationship with Joel since the QZ in Boston, a kind of agreement in wich only fucked “without feelings”, you two didn't go beyond that because he didn't want to and didn't feel safe to take that step, which you respected. You knew he had a daughter named Sarah, you found out during a night where he couldn't sleep and he whispered between dreams her name crying and asking for forgiveness, you never ask about it because you respected his privacy and you didn't want him to push you away.

But then Ellie and the fireflies happened; lost Tess, Bill, Frank, Sam and Henry, you two went through many things together, wich made you felt like you were something much more than just friends with benefits, he opened up to you and Ellie, finally he talked about his babygirl and his suicide attempt, you saw him in his most vulnerable moments and you hugged and held him when you knew he needed it most.

You loved Joel, you had no doubt about that, you realized that you loved him that time the group of cannibals attacked you three and he was hurt, you had not felt so much fear in your life until he almost died for the infection. You didn't tell him, but while he was almost unconscious and dying and you were about to go out to find something to fight his infection he took your arm and whispered "please stay with me my love, I love you" after that he fell asleep again, leaving you perplexed at his words, you had many questions going through your head, too many doubts and mixed feelings, you didn't have the heart to leave him, so Ellie went to get the supplies.

You were afraid that he would not remember what he told you, you hoped to be able to talk once they got something to make him get better, but everything went to hell when they took Ellie and David happened, he had mentally screwed the girl, wich made you forgot your situation with Joel and prioritized Ellie before you. Then the fireflies happened, Joel and you rescued Ellie and fled back to Jackson and settled back in the commune, you could finally enjoy some peace after everything they had been through and you liked to believe that the three of them were a family.

It had been months since they returned to Jackson, things with Joel were still the same, he never mentioned what he told you that time when he was dying, and you did not touch the subject no matter how much you died of wanting to do it. With that came your breaking point, you couldn't stand it anymore, you needed to talk to Joel, you needed to know where all this was going, you wanted everything with him, with it his flaws, you already knew about his daughter Sarah, you practically knew everything about him and you wanted more.

You were in the kitchen of the house you shared with Ellie and Joel and you were so sunk in your thoughts that you didn't hear it coming. "Hey, did you hear me?" you came out of your trance and were startled when you saw Joel sitting at the table in front of you. "Oh, sorry I didn't hear you come Joel, what's wrong?" you left the cup of tea you had in your hands on the kitchen counter, noticing that you hadn't taken a sip, you were gone for quite a while.

You sat next to him at the small table. "I was telling you that if you were okay, I arrived and I saw you standing there doing nothing, you were very disconnected from the world honey" he laughed softly, "Are you okay baby?" he placed his hand gently on top of yours.

You looked down, suddenly feeling too shy and embarrassed to say something, "I... yes this- no, I actually want to talk to you Joel, i-it's about something I've wanted to tell you for a long time," out of the corner of your eye you saw how he got serious and nodded, giving you permission to speak.

You got nervous, you had already planned what and how you were going to tell him everything, but Joel had you so bad that nothing came out of your mouth, the man had that imposing power over you, plus there was the fact that you would not know what his reaction would be. You took a long, deep breath before blurting out "What are we Joel?, Where is all this going?" you finally looked up and watched as his jaw tensed, instantly regretted saying that when he abruptly removed his hand from yours "What are you talking about?" he raised an eyebrow in your direction.

"You know, we've been together since before Jackson and-" he interrupted you "No, you knew very well where I stood on this and you agreed with me," he got up from his chair in frustration, running a hand through his hair. Before he could speak you interrupted him "No Joel, please, this place is our chance to be happy and be a family, I know you're afraid to love me and it's okay to have it, but we're fine, we're safe, I lov-" you shuddered when he turned to you and shouted "NO, I can't do this okay? I can't, I don't know what made you think we could be the happy family you lost, we're not them and we never will be, in this fucked up world things are no longer handled like that, for god´s sake, stop living in a bubble and stop getting excited, I don't feel those cheesiness for you, I don't love you" he snapped angrily while staring at you.

Your eyes began to fill with tears, you could not believe what he was telling you, you felt as if you had been stabbed in the back, no, this was a thousand times worse, he knew how you felt about your family, you always hoped to have one again, to be able to be happy and start from scratch, you thought you had found it with Joel and a small part of you liked to think that he also felt that for you but at the same time It seems things were not like that. "Fuck you, how dare you tell me that!" you sobbed so loudly, you were holding back a lot of crying that you started to feel short of breath "I've given you everything of myself, I've let you fuck me however you want, I've been your shoulder to cry, I hug you when you have nightmares and you can't sleep, I never asked you about your daughter because I wanted you to tell me when you felt ready and seriously you have the impudence to say that it made me think we could be a family?" you laughed without being able to believe it, I was hurting you too much.

He looked away from you, you cried and sobbed until you calmed down a little and continued talking "You say that you do not feel those cheesiness and that you do not love me but the time you were hurt and you were about to die you told me not to leave your side and that you loved me" and there it was,  you let go, and you never thought it felt so liberating to do it "Explain it Joel, look me in the eyes and explain that shit!" you screamed and shed tears of fury as you approached and came face to face with him.

Finally he looked at you, you watched how his gaze seemed to relax and you swore that you could appreciate softness in his eyes, his hands closed into fists, it was as if he was struggling with himself to say something, for a moment you thought he would apologize to you, ask for forgiveness and finally stop lying to himself, you frowned when you heard him a low laugh and his countenance changed to one of mockery "I hate to tell you baby, but when you're under the influence of an infection you can say any nonsense, I don't even remember saying that for god's sake, maybe you imagined it, so stop begging for something that never gonna happened." You had enough, you were not going to continue humiliating yourself for him, if he did not want this well "Okay Joel" you wiped your tears "you are right I imagined it, I was the deluded one who believed you were a better man, a good one, I idealized you a lot and I am very sorry to have seen things where they had not" you did not know or why you apologized, you just wanted to end this discussion and go away from it.

You headed towards the exit without looking back, leaving Joel speechless still standing on the kitchen island, if he was sorry you didn't care anymore, not even taking some of your belongings, you didn't want to just go on there, what once felt like home at that moment stopped feeling that way.

A/N: ok, so this is my first fic, I apologize if there is any kind of grammatical error, English is not my first language, I promise to improve :) This has a second part, I've been working on it for a month lol, it will come eventually, I just don't know when, but it will.

reblogs, comments and likes are welcome :)

[saintmurd0ck]

AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK:

off that soft prompts list - tracing your lover’s scars, but matt x reader x frank and not just reader doing it, but guiding matt’s hands over frank’s body and the reverse 🥺🥺🥺🥺

do with that what you will polygodmother 💗

be still and feel my beating heart

let's have a sleepover at mine!

pairing: frank castle x reader x matt murdock

a/n: thank you so much for this wonderful ask, kay my darling. this was so beautiful and so soft; i'm sorry it turned out way angstier than intended but... enjoy anyway. 🥺

song pairing: dear august (pj harding & noah cyrus)

The howling wind seems to quieten as your fingers dance across Frank's chest, smooth skin and hardened muscle giving way to a ringed scar that ebbs underneath your fingertips.

You loose a heavy breath. "If you ever had the chance to heal this completely, would you take it?" Would you heal the mark and bear it internally instead?

Frank stills, as if your very question prods red-hot into the centre of his soul.

Heat blooms across your face as remorse surges through your veins. "I don't mean–"

"No. Never."

Matt props himself up with an elbow, shoving the covers off in the process. "Because the scars keep them alive, preserve their memory."

Frank's eyes flutter shut as the pit in your stomach opens up, eddying with shame and bitterness. With the guilt of asking the question. Or the fact that you thought about it in the first place.

Your heart sinks a little further as Frank's hand rests against your own, pressing it flat against the mark. "I'm forgetting things," he says, voice lowered to a near-whisper. "I can't remember her laugh. Or the way" —his voice breaks— "the kids would run up to me after school."

The three of you are silent for a second, interrupted only by a gust of wind that brushes up against the vaulted windows. He circles the scar gently. "That's uh— that's not even because of them. Got that one in Kandahar."

Matt swallows, reaching over to clasp his hand over Frank's. And yours. "Doesn't matter where or how you got it, Frank. You bleed the same. You bleed for them."

"That's right," Frank mutters, nodding his head slowly; the movement barely discernible in the dark.

Matt leans into his touch, gripping the both of you tightly. "You fight for them every single day. That's all you can do, and you do it, over and over again, without a second thought. They're proud of you, Frank. Of this life you've created, of the way you honour them."

Frank inhales sharply as you squeeze him, holding him as close to you as humanly possible. "And what about you, Red?"

"My scars?"

"Yeah. D'ya think you'd erase 'em, if you could?"

Matt purses his lips, tilting his chin to the ceiling. He seems poised to answer the question, but you know the expression on his face. He's deep in thought, and it's more than likely he's sifting through the memories of every cicatrix he's ever worn.

"I don't know," he murmurs, chewing on his lip. "On one hand, I'd get less questions, but on the other..." You press a kiss to Frank's shoulder as your hand now settles on the plane of Matt's stomach, hoping your touch offers him some semblance of support. He breathes a quick 'thank you' before continuing. "On the other hand, they remind me the fight is real. That everything I've done has been worth it, in some way or another."

You run your fingers through his hair, sensing the words he's left unsaid. "There's more, isn't there, Matt?"

"Hm?"

"They're a living reminder of your pain."

Matt turns his head away, as if to shield himself from the truth. "Yeah. So maybe I deserve it."

Frank wastes no time in cupping Matt's jaw, bringing his head back to face in the right direction, grumbling his disagreement in the process. "S'bullshit, Red. Absolute bullshit if I've ever heard it."

"Glad you think so, Castle," Matt scoffs, every word clipped.

You swipe a thumb over Matt's cheek, trailing your fingers down the side of his neck, earning a shudder in response.

"C'mere, Frank," you mumble, guiding his touch towards the long scar on Matt's stomach; the one given to him by Nobu.

Matt stifles a groan as the callouses of Frank's fingers scrape gently over his skin, then again as Frank's lips trace the outlines of the twin marks adorning his chest.

Your next words come out mumbled, dispersed amongst kisses that flutter down Frank's back. "You, my darling Matthew, bleed for Hell's Kitchen. And God knows the city's safer for it, so let your scars be a reminder of all the good you’ve done."

“That’s right, Red,” Frank adds. “‘Sides, you got us now, and I don’t want your sad Catholic boy act. You’ve done good. Hell, better than I ever could.”

As the world around the three of you begins to fade away, intercepted only by Matt’s hushed argument-in-response, you think about it for a second: how it'd well and truly take a lifetime to kiss every single scar flecking their bodies.

You might as well start right now.

[remyfire]

8. “I can take it.” BEEJMARG

Smut Dialogue Prompts Bless you for indulging our feral rarepair. This is 33% fighting 33% rough sex 33% feelings, as it should be.

"I can take it."

It's objectively hilarious, having this conversation when they're both stripped down to nothing with the sound of the sea coming through the open guest bedroom window in a house that BJ and Peg are still breaking in. He rather thought that breaking it in meant hosting parties, having company, testing the furniture flow of the rooms. Not pounding an old war friend into the mattress.

But Margaret's always been complicated for him, and her stubbornness still knows no bounds. And besides, there's no pounding happening right now either. There's BJ sprawled out on top of her, his weight held off of her form, and Margaret with all four limbs wrapped around him like an octopus, trying to drag him down for what she wants.

BJ's brows lift as he holds her gaze, staring into the sharp blue crystals gleaming at him. "Okay, first of all, this isn't a competition. This isn't a dare. This is—"

"It's you thinking I can't handle you," she counters in that drawling way she has, complete with a little head wiggle that rustles her blonde waves further.

"Are you—" BJ manages to pull away another half-inch, maybe, and gets his hand around his dick in demonstration, giving it a few quick tugs so he's at maximum hardness. "Margaret, have you seen my cock?"

She narrows her eyes. "I've taken a lot of cock before, Hunnicutt."

Even in the midst of his frustration, a little thrill races up his spine. "And as exciting as that might be for me to think about..." He finally breaks out of her hold so he can sit up on his knees. It gives him a better look at her frankly incredible body—soft breasts, shapely waist, pale skin, the thatch of dark hair between her thighs—and he loses track of his thoughts for a moment, only regaining them when he feels her try to reach for his hardness. "No, listen, literally this isn't even about if you can take my cock or not, it's me trying to go slow for this first time, and—"

"It's frankly insulting, the way you're belittling my ability."

"Why are you bringing Frank into this?" he counters.

It works. He sees her fighting tooth and nail not to laugh, not even to smile, but the gleam in her eyes gives her away. "First of all, if you wanted me out of your bed, you could've just said his name in the first place, because that's ruined the mood—"

"Uh-uh." As she makes to slip away, he pins her back down with a hand on her shoulder, a slow smile crossing his lips. "Don't you fucking dare, sweetheart."

"Second of all," she continues, as though she's not flushing from the endearment, "I'm ordering you to take me. Right. Now."

BJ leans down closer, his smile shifting to something more mischievous. "Mm, but you're not my commanding officer anymore, Margaret. And you never will be again."

"But I'm a woman." Her voice goes throaty and rich, all velvet on his bare skin, as she sinks both hands into his hair and gives a tug that has him tipping his head back with a groan. "Wet. Hungry. Begging for your cock. And that's about the same effect, isn't it?"

Regrettably, she has a point. Even just listening to her purr out those words has his heart thudding hard enough to break through his ribs. As she pulls him in by her grip on his locks, he releases a shaky sigh, mouth falling open from that faint searing bit of pain.

She presses her lips right to his ear. "I need you to fuck me, Hunnicutt. I need you to fill me up. Hard. Fast. I need you to make me scream."

The arm holding up his weight starts to shake as he cups the back of her head in turn, fisting in the strands. "If I hurt you—"

"—then I'll thank you for it."

Somehow that's the hottest thing she could've said to him. He's spent his whole life forcing himself to be gentle, aware of how quickly he shot up as an adolescent, how he's towered and outbroadened so many of the other men in his age group. He's fought to resist the natural rhythm of his masculinity, making his movements something seamless and watery and languid so he never makes someone feel threatened unless he wants his presence to land like a fucking bomb.

He's still not sure she's speaking the truth—that she's not just being stubborn—but suddenly he wants very much to find out.

All at once, he explodes, breaking out of her hold with ease as he sits back up and uses the hand in her hair to start flipping her over. His other fingers dig into her hip, tossing her onto her belly, and before she even has time to cry out in surprise, he grabs her by the waist and yanks her so her ass is against his cock, her cheek still on the sheets.

They were ready for this. He's already got his condom on, already slicked himself with lube just to be perfectly sure she'd be ready for him. "You asked for it," he murmurs as he guides himself forward, presses just the head of his dick against her heat, then takes a quick breath to steel himself before he thrusts inside of her.

"Fuck!" Margaret slaps her hand on the mattress, then yanks up a fistful of it with a sharp groan. "I know that's not all you've got, Hunnicutt, come on—"

She's absolutely out of her mind. He sinks as deep as he can go, balls pressing against her slick lips, and can't help but let out a quick, rough chuckle. "You tell me if I need to stop—"

"Go!" she demands with a glare over her shoulder.

Not for the first time, he is absolutely certain he's falling in love with her. The thought makes him smirk as he grabs her by the hair and gives it a tight pull to silence her just before he begins fucking her in earnest.

And, Jesus Christ, she's responsive as hell. He always had a notion that a woman as mouthy as her would carry it right over into the bedroom, but the way she moans unabashedly stokes a roaring fire in his gut. Maybe she's just like him, still addicted to the thrill that there's no thin canvas that she has to hide her pleasure from. Hell, maybe it's just the realization that this is finally happening, that they get to have each other.

There's something devastatingly hot about how Peg is just on the other side of the beach house too, no doubt buried in a book, trying not to smile at the sounds coming down the hall. If he knows his wife at all, she's absolutely going to set it aside and let her fingers slip under her nightgown, rub herself off to the sounds of them ruining each other.

It unlocks something further inside of him, thinking that there might even be a night where, if this happens again, she might wander down the hall to watch. To taste. To take.

A man shouldn't get to have this much in life.

He sinks his short nails into Margaret's hip, eating up her answering cry, drinking in the sight of the marks he's leaving there. "Fuck, I've needed you," he growls, barely able to get the words out. "D'you know how good you feel?"

"God, BJ..." His name gets swallowed up in a sharp moan as he pulls her hard by the hair, and he watches as her hand flies out of sight, under her body, between her legs.

He hadn't planned for what hearing his name—not his surname, his fucking name—out of her lips would do to him. He fights the urge to pull her in for a tender kiss, keeps himself focused on the path of ruining her little by little. "Say it again. Say it while you're coming on my fucking cock, Margaret."

"Oh, fuck, fuck." She sounds almost frenzied, like a maenad who's lost complete control of herself, like she's nothing but a vessel for sensation and ecstasy. "I'm gonna come, BJ—"

"That's it, that's it, give it to me, right fucking now."

He barely gets the last word out before she's almost screaming for him—"Fuck, BJ!"—and as she thrashes under him, he holds her down with his body, sinks his teeth into her shoulder, and moans sharply in response. He fucks her through it, not letting up, chasing his own release as she tightens around him.

It's when she reaches for his hair in turn and twists her neck so she can kiss him bruisingly that he comes, overwhelmed by the taste and the feel of her.

It takes him a long moment to realize that he's trembling, overadrenalized, and BJ gives in and rolls them over so he can turn her so they're chest to chest. He holds her so tightly to him, he's almost stunned they're both still able to breathe.

"Fuck," Margaret whispers, petting through his hair in a way that settles him fast, bringing him right back down to earth. "My word." She laughs. "I hoped you had that in you."

"Yeah? I didn't...hurt you, did I?"

"Hunnicutt, please, I feel like a new woman."

"No, no," he whispers. He cups her face gently in his hands and lifts her head so he can stare into her eyes. "Please. My name?"

Her expression goes through a wild array of interesting shifts, settling on something open and tender. He can't help but wonder how many other people have had the privilege of seeing how she softens all at once, lines and muscles loosening until she's barely more than a young girl, still filled with dreams and hopes, untouched by war.

She thumbs over his cheek in a familiar way—one he's used so often on Peg—and her voice is as gentle as a sprinkling rain when she speaks. "BJ."

He melts. There's just something about how her voice shapes those two letters that tells him everything he needs to know about how she feels. That there's no rush. There's no demands or expectations. There's just them, gently washed over by the sound of the sea, warmed by each other, happy to take her week-long visit as it comes and see what happens.

"Margaret," he whispers right back with a slow smile. And when she melts in turn, he guides her back in for a languid, unhurried kiss, utterly content.

[modern-vellichor]

You + Frank angst = my heart to hurt (but in a good way)

May I request more Frank Angst, just Frank angst, nothing in particular

-a/n; guys. you guys r sick and twisted Bad Year Anthem, Matthew Nienow -warnings; angst

Frank was never good at staying in touch. When you first met him, you were willing to accept that. You thought he would change. You spent months, years gaining his trust. You thought he would warm up to you. He never did. He would go through phases. He'd see you every day for two weeks and then disappear for two months, no contact. And then he'd show up, smelling like some faraway state, bleeding to death. He'd smile at you and your heart would melt, and the cycle begins again.

You wanted to break the cycle. You had grown sick of it. You wanted more from Frank, and he never gave it you. he never would. So you move. Somewhere new. You move to New York, you had always loved the coast. You get an apartment near the port, just a fifteen minute walk. You get a new job.

Every morning you leave for work early, the sun still rising, and you walk to the port. There's a little bench there. Every morning, you get a coffee from the cart nearby and you sit on that bench. And every morning, you wait for the sun to come up with a cigarette in your mouth. You never differ from this little routine. Its a fresh start that you so desperately needed. Its nice.

Frank went looking for you in your home state. You can imagine his surprise when he watched an old couple moving boxes into your home. He had brought flowers and the wine you like, an apology. He wanted a future with you. He spent weeks searching for you, and you show up in New York. His home soil.

It's a cold morning. You didn't bring a jacket. You smoke your cigarette with shaking hands. You couldn't sleep last night and so you left even earlier this morning. You watch the cigarette burn out and stand on it. Your coffee is still steaming on the bench next to you. You take a sip and light another. You smoke slowly, dragging in shuddering breaths. The cold air makes you want to cough as it hits the back of your throat. You look a little pathetic, but no one is around to judge.

"Those'll kiss you, y'know."

Frank slides onto the bench next to you. He shucks an arm over the back of the bench and relaxes into you. It feels good to see you again. You don't say anything. You smoke in spiteful silence. The frown on your face deepens. Frank shifts in his seat.

"Miss me, sweetheart?" He rumbles.

"Have you been lonely, Frank?" You spit.

"Have you?"

"Who can face the sea and not inherit it's loneliness?"

Frank watches you shake. His arm slides over your shoulder and pulls you close. You fight against the sentiment. You push him away and scoff. You slide to the far side of the bench and swallow down the remains of your coffee. Confidence warms what the coffee doesn't. Anger lingers, too. Rage lights a fire that heats you from the inside out. You stare at Frank. He looks like a kicked puppy. He's heartbroken. You know it, because you've given him that look so many times before.

"Please, sweetheart," he begs, reaching out for you.

"I don't love you, Frank," you say, numbly. "Not anymore."

You leave a half smoked cigarette on the bench next to you as you stand. Lipstick stains the butt. The taste of you is infused in the filter. You pick up your purse and the empty cardboard cup.

"Finish that for me," you gesture to the cigarette in Frank's hands.

You walk away. Frank watches you go, willing you to turn around.

You don't look back.

[missjaystone]

Coming Home

Summary: After a year alone, your lover finally comes back home, but he’s not the same. Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader Word Count: 2,270 Warnings: Vague-ish smut, angsty-ish, meh

You stared at the naked man behind you in the mirror with a surprised grin on your face, a quiet laugh leaving you "you can't be serious, Billy." He chuckled and nodded, his own grin adorning his face as he rested his head on your shoulder and pulled your back into his chest "I'm one hundred percent serious, baby, I want you to marry me." "Weren't you ever warned about marrying strippers?" You asked with a hum. "I was, but I know you aren't after my money, and I don't mind your job, makes me feel proud knowing other guys can only look at you and dream, while I get to fuck you senseless every night," he said as he ground his hips into yours. "So you wanna marry me to stroke your own ego?" You asked sarcastically. "And because I love you. You're not only the most beautiful girl I've ever seen but you're smart, funny, and I always feel like the luckiest guy in the world when I'm with you. Not to mention, we'd have some pretty fucking cute babies, I mean, look at us," he pecked your neck softly and grinned.

He picked the ring up from the box on the counter and slid it onto your finger "what do you say babygirl? Wanna be Mrs. Billy Russo?" "I say fuck yes," you said excitedly. You turned around to kiss him and giggled against his lips when he quickly picked you up and set you on the counter. Another round of gleeful, celebratory sex followed before you two showered, which led to another round before he left for work. You found yourself looking forward to planning the wedding. Unfortunately, he went missing five months later. He never came back to your shared apartment, you found his car with several parking tickets, and god knows the NYPD wasn't any help at all, the entire city knew that.

Life without Billy took some getting used to; you weren't even sure it was something you could get used to. It hurt, coming home to a cold bed in an empty apartment. What hurt even more though, was having to watch your stomach grow in the months that followed. Being handed the small brown-eyed bundle with his tuft of dark hair nearly made you break. You heavily contemplated giving the child up for adoption, but when you thought of Billy, you knew that's not what he would have wanted, especially given his own experience in the system. You also thought about quitting the gentlemen's club, finding something more suitable for a mom, you did have a computer programming degree, your student loans were the reason you started working at the club, but nothing paid as well and offered the flexibility you needed. You got back to work when he turned a month old, the elderly woman in the apartment next door offered to babysit him while you were gone.

"Hey, Kitty, you've got a guy in room three asking for you," your manager said as you made your way off stage, giving a small hum in reply. You sighed quietly on your way to the room, already counting down the minutes until you could leave; 43 minutes and 21 seconds. How is it that almost a year since he vanished, he was still so prevalent in your mind? After closing the door behind you, you took in the man's appearance. He wore loose jeans and a dark grey hoodie that obscured his features. You sighed to yourself and thought 'oh great, another creep'. This wasn't a new thing, men in their thirties and forties came in dressed like this all the time, trying to obscure their features so nobody could ever identify them in case any snooping wives came around.

"Did you have a specific song in mind for your dance?" You asked as you picked up the tablet that connected to the room's speakers. "It'll be a bit of an unusual request but, you know that song 'Baby I'm Yours'?" He asked awkwardly. You nearly dropped the device in your hands, biting your lip as tears already began to well; the voice sounded familiar but you couldn't turn and look yet, you couldn't get your hopes up. "There are a number of songs with that name, can you be more specific?" You asked in as steady of a voice as you could manage. "The version by the Arctic Monkeys," he clarified, clearing his throat some. This time, you did drop the tablet; you suddenly felt unsteady in your platform stilettos.

You didn't even hear him get up but you felt his hands on your arms when you started to turn around "don't, please, don't look at me. I need you to remember me as I was." You exhaled deeply and shook your hand, slapping his hands away "no. I deserve to be looked in the eye when you tell me why the fuck you disappeared." When you turned to face him, you were greeted with a white mask that had cracks and breaks drawn on it. He shook his head, gripping your wrists when you tried to take it off "I didn't mean to. I-I was meeting with someone and it turned ugly and next thing I knew, I was in a hospital with memories missing and nightmares. I was there for six months before things started coming back and then I remembered you. I've been trying to find you and say I'm sorry, beg for you back but I'm-I'm not the same man you were engaged to. I barely recognize the man in the mirror now."

Before you had time to think, you yanked one of your wrists out of his grasp and slapped him, the mask falling to the ground. A shocked gasp left your lips as you took in his scarred features, his eyes immediately screwing shut to avoid seeing your expression. "Billy, I-what happened?" You asked quietly. "I was fighting with Frank and uh, he thought this was a fate worse than death. I guess he was right," he answered with a dry chuckle. When you remained speechless, he kept talking "I just wanted to see you one last time, to tell you how much I loved you, but I'm not gonna make you be with someone so hideously, grotesquely disfigured." The way he spoke about himself sent pangs of sadness to your heart. He may not have looked the same but he was far from hideous or grotesque. You were pulled out of your shock when you saw him reaching down for his mask, presumably leaving.

"No." You finally said, looking at him with an angry frown. "I'm sorry?" He asked, his own expression turning shocked when you snatched the mask from his hands. "I said no. You don't get to make that fucking decision for me, Billy! You don't just get to decide if I want to be with you or not! How fucking dare you just show up and decide for me! Do you know how much of a fucking nightmare this past year has been?" You asked, shoving his chest as angry tears began to roll down your cheeks. "I'm just trying to save you the embarrassment of-" he started to say before you started again "I wouldn't be embarrassed because I didn't love you for your looks you egotistical asshole! I loved you for who you were! Even when you were gone, when I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere, I loved you. Every time I look at our son, I think about how much I love you and would give anything to have you back, only for you to come here and tell me you're leaving to spare me the embarrassment. How fucking dare you," you shoved him again, paying zero attention to how he reacted to anything you said.

Your hand was raised to slap him again but he caught your wrist, eyes widened some "we have a son?" "Yes, Billy! And every time I look into his eyes, I'm reminded of everything we shared, everything I'd give up just to have you back in my life, because I loved you with every fiber of my being. I never cared about what you looked like, you made me feel happy and safe and loved and I thought I made you feel the same but I must not have if you think so little of me, that I'd bolt at the sight of you right now." His stance noticeably softened at your words and he frowned at you "do you really think you could spend your life with someone who looks like I do, now? Children are always gonna point and stare when we walk down the street, men are never gonna leave you alone, your girlfriends are gonna tell you you can do better than someone who looks like Frankenstein."

You sighed quietly and gently cupped his cheeks, frowning at the way he flinched before you even came into contact with the marred flesh. The edges of your mouth curled up in a tiny smile as you looked into his eyes "Frankenstein's monster would be lucky to look like you, Billy." A small groan escaped him at your subtle correction. His hands came to rest on your hips. "You fucking nerd," he mumbled with a chuckle as he let you pull him into a kiss like your life depended on it. His lips only left yours when you fell onto the room's couch, quickly pulling him down with you. Your minimal, barely-there "outfit" was quickly gone, leaving you in only the heels while he shed his layers. The minute he was free, he was back on you, two of his fingers teasing your entrance while his thumb circled your clit, pulling soft, needy noises he'd missed oh so much, noises that got him through the nights he spent alone before finding you again.

And when you finally told him you were ready, it took all of his self-control to go slowly and savor the feelings he'd miss; the way your channel squeezed his member like a vise, the way your legs locked around his hips, and his favorite was the way you peppered kisses along his chest, neck, and face before finally meeting his lips. There were tears in your eyes as he slowly moved his hips, tears he kissed away lovingly while holding you as close as he possibly could. "I missed you so much, angel," he whispered against your lips, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes. "I missed you too, Billy," you whispered back as your fingers tangled in his hair.

Once the moments of adjusting to each other's bodies again passed, Billy started moving his hips roughly, almost angrily like he was trying to make up for lost time (which he was). Each moan he pulled from you gave him a little more confidence and made him go faster, harder, deeper; sure, he was seeking his own pleasure, but he was searching his still-scrambled brain for what got you off before. Finally, he recalled the special spots that made you lose it; he angled his hips up a bit so he was repeatedly pistoning into your g-spot, smirking as you louder moans and swears that escaped you. He began kissing just above your collarbone too, sucking and nibbling on the soft skin until a nice, visible lovebite could be seen.

His lips crashed into yours when he felt you tightening around him right before your climax hit, muffling your moans and his as your release triggered his. His hips moved lazily as you came down with him, both of you panting slightly. He looked down at you adoringly after planting a kiss on your forehead "when are you finished with work?" "Any minute now, I bet," you answered happily. You gave him a quick kiss before lazily getting dressed. You checked the time on the tablet and hummed happily "I finished three minutes ago, apparently. Hurry up and get dressed so we can go home." You playfully winked at him before you left the private room. You quickly went to the back and changed into your street clothes before clocking out, meeting Billy by the door.

With your hand in his, you led him to your car and drove him to your tiny apartment. He hung back while you picked your son up from your neighbor, thanking her repeatedly before you led him inside. He followed you to your son's room, swooning over the chubby infant who babbled in his sleep "what'd you name him?" "William Russo, but I call him Will," you answered with a tired but happy smile, moving the tuft of hair out of the baby's face. "Can I-can I hold him?" He asked nervously, hesitantly. Every single one of his muscles tensed as you carefully put the child in his arms. More tears rolled down his cheeks and he bit his lip to stop from crying out loud "he's perfect." You just nodded in agreement as you watched, leaning against Billy's side some. Suddenly, Billy looked at you with watery eyes and whispered "can he sleep with us tonight? I never want to put him down." You smiled at him and nodded "of course he can, baby." You led Billy back to your room and let him get comfortable in bed while you did you changed into your PJs and did your nightly routine. When you stepped out of the bathroom less than ten minutes later, Billy was already passed out, firmly holding the infant on his chest. You smiled fondly at the sight; your love finally came back home.

Taglist: @bdffkierenwalker​

[busycryin]

Disinhibition

Pairing: Benjamin ‘Benny’ Miller x Reader 

Word Count: 2k 

Warnings: Injury, bad words, mentions of sex. 

Summary: Benny gets injured and loses his filter.  (Not that he had much of one to begin with)

Note: This is self indulgent fluff. I regret nothing. I am in love with all of these men. 

It was never your idea of a fun Friday night - watching Benny get the ever living shit beaten out of him. 

Until six months ago you’d never have even set foot in an event such as this, but here you were, beer in hand watching the brother of your best friend take an uppercut to the face in a fight you think he was winning. 

To you Benny was the gentle giant; a sweet guy who topped up the window wiper fluid in your car when it got low or the guy that gave you the last hot dog at the barbeque because he knew you secretly hated Frankie’s burgers. In this ring he was one hundred percent the warrior you’d heard stories of as a mask of icy calculation had descended across his features. 

The outside world was shut out; it was just him and his opponent in the ring.

His opponent just so happened to be a gorilla - there was no other way to describe the mans body as his arms were thick chords of muscles covering bone - somehow managing to make Benny look lithe. 

You were still new to this but you weren’t quite sure how he was even in the same weight class.

Christ, this was bad for your blood pressure.

You couldn’t help the butterflies fluttering around your stomach despite the fact that for every hit Benny took he landed two. The two were locked into a hold on the ground, you didn’t quite understand what was happening, but Ben had somehow got the upper hand. It was as he held the man down that the bell finally rang and you released a breath you didn’t realise you were holding; the round was over. 

Santiago, another friend of Will’s who was standing beside you and Frankie, blew out a heavy breath. 

“This is a fuckin’ close one.”

“Guys fuckin’ huge.” Frankie echoed your thoughts whilst taking a sip of his beer. 

Will was bent over Benny talking into his ear as the younger of the duo desperately chugged his water bottle. He looked absolutely exhausted, your heart was beating madly in your chest; you decided to remain silent. 

All too soon the break was over and the mouth guard was back in place protecting those pearly whites that were often directed at you in a half-smirk/half-grin concoction that always signalled he was up to no good. 

“Don’t worry, Guapa! Ben’s got this, he’s one tough sonovabitch.” Frankie patted your back reassuringly. Somehow you weren’t convinced but you smiled at both of the men, nodding enthusiastically and draining your half full beverage. 

You knelt to place your cup under your seat, rising finally as the bell rang, signalling the beginning of a new round of torture. Your hands interlocked nervously in front of your mouth flinching at every hit the other man landed on Benny. 

You felt Santiago pat your shoulder and shoot you a smile whilst he cheered for the younger Miller. “He’s got this, Y/N.” He spoke, repeating Frankie’s earlier reassurances.

Benny did not have this. 

As was made evidently clear a couple of minutes later when the two were grappling on the ground, his opponent had got the upper hand and was above him trying to get him to submit. But Benny being Benny wouldn’t give in, despite being banged to rights. 193 pounds didn’t seem so heavy right now as his opponent twisted his arm to the ground, his thick legs wrapped around Ben’s torso. 

Your heart dropped as you could’ve swore you heard the crack of bone over the crowd. Finally Benny tapped. 

The fight was over, he’d lost. 

Santiago had thrown his hat off raking his fingers through his hair in disappointment “Mierda! I thought he had it!”

“That guy was fucking massive, I hope he’s okay.” You mumbled when you realised Ben was still sitting on the padded ground. 

“Let’s go see, eh?” Frank gestured towards the ring where a medic had now entered, tailed closely by Will. You had to stop yourself from racing to his side as sat injured in the ring.

You see, you and Benny had a complicated relationship.

Well it wasn’t that difficult, simply put Ben was a bit of a slut, now you didn’t judge him. Live and let live, you say, but casual sex just wasn’t your thing. Especially not with the brother of your best friend. You’d come to rely on your easy friendship with the older Miller brother so you avoided your relationship with Ben going beyond flirting - your friendship wasn’t something you wanted to fuck with on a whim. 

So, a strange friendship in limbo was where you and Benjamin Miller firmly remained. 

Benny was pulled up into standing, his face was pale as the MMA medic inspected his arm. The man shook his head at Will as they walked, both supporting the injured man. 

“-dislocated, he’s gonna have to go to the ER.” The three of you caught the end of the conversation as you followed the trio. 

“He okay?” Frankie questioned first “Going to the hospital?”

“Yeah, the idiot pushed himself too far. Popped his shoulder out of the socket instead of submitting.”

“Shit, Ben! Are you okay?” You asked, rushing to his side.

“I’m fine Y/N.” He grunted ever the hard headed soldier, his face was laced with pain even as he tried to be impassive in his agony. 

You backed off at his clear dismissal, not wanting to push him whilst he was in such pain.

“We’ll meet you there, yeah?” Santiago questioned.

In the end, you and ‘Pope’ sat in the hospital chairs for an hour or two waiting. Frankie had waited for an hour before he had to get back to his family, the two of you had insisted he get back. It wasn’t fair on Mama Morales to have to look after the baby on her own. 

Santiago was the friend of Will’s you knew the least. He was always kind but he simply was never around. He came and went as he pleased much like an outdoor cat, but in the short time you’d been around him you knew he was a nice guy. Two, going on three hours alone talking about nonsense had pretty much cemented that as you now sat in the waiting room playing go fish, waiting desperately to hear some news about your - What exactly was Benny to you?

Your crush? No. You weren’t in Kindergarten.

Your friend? No. Not enough.

The guy you had incredibly strong feelings for - the kind that made that tingle in your stomach when he laughed at your jokes but you can’t tell him because he’s a man whore who can’t commit to one woman? No. Abit long, not to mention a complete overshare. 

Your person.

You were waiting desperately to hear some news about your person when finally Will rounded the corner. You stood before you realised what you were doing.

“He okay?”

“Yeah, he’s good. Asking about you Y/N, come and see him?”

“Of course.” You reply picking up your purse. 

Both you and Santi follow Will through the winding hospital halls. You hear Benjamin before you see him.

“I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday! ” His usually melodious voice is hoarse and slurred, he sounded somewhat drunk as he butchered the rock song from his favourite band.

“I love you too, man.” Will says with a small smile on his face as he sits on one of the chairs beside the bed. 

“He’s had some anesthesia. He’s pretty high right now, so brace yourselves.” He’s sitting up in the bed arm wrapped in a sling, staring up at the ceiling as he sings (shouts) when you round the corner.

“Will, you’re back!” He lights up as he sees his brother “I love you.”

However Will is forgotten instantly as soon as Benny catches sight of you. “Will! This is her, Christ, its the angel I fuckin’ told you about!”

“Calm down, Ben.” Will still has the smile on his face but he tilts his head to the other patient behind the curtain being subjected to his younger brother's lack of an indoor voice.

“How are you doing, Brother?” Santi questions, sitting on the chair to the other side of him. 

He looks at Santiago. “Pope! Have you seen her? She’s so gorgeous, man. She’s here.”

You chuckle as you walk to stand beside him on the bed. He instantly takes your hand in his good one and pats the bed beside him. You can’t help but acquiesce despite the cloudy look in his eyes. It’s like the lights are all on but nobody's really home.

You hop up, facing him sideways on. You’re not about to cuddle the man in front of Will and Santiago, no matter how desperately you’d like to.

“How you feeling, Soldier?”

“Better now you’re here, Angel.” You can’t help the snort that comes out at his words. 

“I’m glad I can help.”

“You could help me in another way y’know Y/N.” He smirks in a way that is so completely Benny you almost forget he’s delirious. 

“I think you might regret this when you have a filter, lovely.”

“You hear that Will?” Benny’s whisper isn’t quite as stealthy as he believes as his voice is barely quieter than a shout. “She fuckin’ called me lovely, I’m fuckin in there man!”

“...No way...” Will replies simultaneously trying and failing to keep a straight face.  “Y’know Ben you might want to calm down, you might be making Y/N uncomfortable.”

“Y/N… Oh god Y/N. She's gorgeous man, inside and out and her tits -Man her tits are-” He makes a growling noise. 

“Ben!” Will admonishes whilst Santiago is looking on, his hand covering his mouth desperately trying to contain his chortles. “I think you should get some rest buddy.”

“I’ma do that. I’ma put my arms down, my head back and get some rest.” Benny tells his brother resolutely all whilst nodding his head and in his defense he does just that… for a grand total of ten seconds before his blue eyes reopen and fix on you. 

“Y/N?” Benny ‘whispers’ whilst tugging on your hand that is still firmly locked with his good one. 

“Mmh?”

“I think we should have a baby.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. We can have like 6 babies and I’ma’ fuck you so good every single night for the rest of our lives and we can have our own barbecues and I’ll cook you up the hamburgers special.” You can’t help it as your eyes widen exposing the whites in their entirety. You’re trapped somewhere between laughing and mortification as you know there’s no way in hell Will and Santi didn’t hear that.

“I’m not a baby machine dude, six kids is alot for my body to handle.”

“You’ll think about it?” He asks his eyes heavy as they lock on yours.

“Moron,” You chuckle whilst raising the hand which is not currently his prisoner and push the strand of dirty blonde hair from his eyes “You get some rest and I’ll give you all the babies you can handle, big guy.” 

“If I go to sleep am I going to die?”

“No, Ben. You won’t die.” You can’t help a final giggle at his expense, apparently Benjamin Miller without a filter is quite the character. Finally he closed his eyes, his strong much larger hand still wrapped around your own as he drifted off.

A few moments passed and nobody seemed to know what to say. Every suspicion they’d had, had been confirmed. You hoped to god they weren’t going to tease him about it.

“Don’t make fun of him too badly when he wakes up, fellas.” You mumble awkwardly, your eyes not leaving his face. 

“That’s my line.” Will pipes up from his seat when you finally meet his eyes. “My brothers a stubborn guy, he’ll see this as a screwing things up with you Y/N/N.”

“He never said anything. The guy’s impossible to read.” 

“Nah, you’re just too close to it, is all.” Will supplied - ever the guiding light in your world recently.

“Well. We’ll see, won't we?” The guys start discussing the fight, about where Ben went wrong - something you didn’t really want to think about for a long time - or in the very least until his shoulder was healed. 

Finally during the lull of conversation as they’re both checking their phones you go to ask Will when they’re releasing the giant moron when Santiago finally speaks up. “So, Y/N. You and Ben mind naming one of the kids after me? I figure with 6 of em’ you can spare at least one for the namesake.”

Tag List:

All - @benakenalove

[qslovebot]

Nobody: Spencer Reid

Summary: After an accident on a case, the reader is left with trauma and anxiety. A miscommunication between her and the person she needs most (Spencer Reid) begins to eat her alive and he just so happens to be the only one there when she breaks again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings/Includes: mentions of kissing, mentions of traumatizing events (not specified), depictions of anxiety, fluff, miscommunication, angst to fluff

A/N: The song is Nobody by Mitski. Read with this for the ultimate experience.

Sometimes things felt too literal. Words start to sound weird and feel weird when you say them, clothes feel too much like clothes against your skin, the texture of any food in your mouth becomes too prevalent while eating.

These things started happening after you witnessed and endured something awful on a case. You wouldn't dare bring up the full memory in case it took over and killed you all over again. It wasn't PTSD, but it was the cause of your anxiety attacks most of the time when they occurred.

After that case, you spent a week in the hospital where they happened nearly every day and the doctors weren't much help, to be frank. The only people who really ever helped were your friends and the person you were so close to dating, Spencer Reid.

It was a long story. To dumb it down, the case event happened and you and Spencer thought you were about to die so he confessed his feelings for you and of course they were reciprocated. He asked, then and there through stuttering words, 'If we make it out of here please go out with me?" As his last bit of hope, and he kissed you before you were taken away by the unsub. He didn't endure nearly as much as you did which was why he wasn't as affected. But you had said 'yes' to that question and three weeks later, you still hadn't talked about it.

When the anxiety attacks happened, you often felt like you couldn't breathe, like the walls were pressing in on you. Sometimes you'd be with JJ when it happened. She would immediately ask you what you needed and often that would just be a hug.

Emily witnessed one at your house when she came over to check on you. She rushed over, caring voice and soft hands and told you to put your head between your knees, stroking your hair until you felt better.

Penelope made the 30-minute drive from her house every Friday night she wasn't working on a case to bring you dinner she had made and chat with you about anything you wanted.

Your friends cared for you, it was so prevalent. It was almost always that fact that was getting you through this as you continued to get better. You would return to work in two weeks because now the anxiety attacks were only once in a while and better controlled by you and Spencer still hadn't spoken to you since.

It was now nearly two weeks later. You would go back to work on Monday.

"He did come to visit you in the hospital before you woke up," Penelope said, stirring her cup of ramen. It was just another Friday and she sat across from you in your chair, cross-legged. "I don't know what's up with him if he isn't speaking to you, he seems fine at work."

You sighed, swallowing your bite. "I'm just scared that he regrets what he said and did before I was dragged away. It was those words and that kiss that got me through what the unsub did and I keep thinking about it and him..."

"It was romantic," she noted, waving her chopstick in the air. "I think you should call him, rather than just text him. It'll catch him off-guard and in-the-moment."

"Now?"

"Yes, so I can listen!"

You smiled a little, pulling out your phone as your heart began to race. What if he did pick up? What if it was awkward? What if he somehow didn't remember?

You pressed on his name, then pressed call. It began to hum quietly with pending rings. One ring, two, then five, then seven, then there was a small beep.

'You've reached Dr. Spencer Reid, uh, leave a message,' his voice said through the machine, still as sweet and youthfully scratchy. You bit your lip and nodded.

"I should have known that he didn't want to talk. Penelope, I can't stop thinking about him and he keeps ignoring my calls and I'm... frankly I'm afraid that nothing will ever happen and he'll ignore me forever."

Penelope cringed, "(Y/N), uh... there's... it's gone to voicemail and you're recording."

"Shit!" You panicked, looking at your phone. "How do I stop it?!"

"The red button!"

"That's the end call button I-" you pressed it by accident. Oh my god, the message went through. You just sat there with Penelope, both of you frozen in shock. That did not just happen... did it really just happen? Your one moment of self-pity and worry was one moment that Spencer would hear if he touched his phone on a Friday night.

The rest of the night was spent with you fighting off panic, pacing your room. Penelope agreed to stay overnight, but you could not handle the fact Spencer would hear what you said. It was humiliating to think about him hearing you stress over something like that.

This is what nagged at you all weekend, threatening the impending anxiety that was building up. Every second was agony, spent pacing and overthinking. Sleep was hard to get, so you took melatonin and your dreams taunted you with it all over again.

Monday morning you rushed to get dressed. You needed to see Spencer, no matter how hard it was to face him. You pulled on dress pants and a navy blue cotton v-neck shirt with bell sleeves. Laundry was forgotten through two days of panic, so this was pretty much the only shirt you had.

You brushed through your hair and applied your regular makeup and there, you were presentable and didn't look like you'd lost your mind over the weekend. You were going back, finally. It was somewhat refreshing if you dismissed the Spencer ordeal.

The drive there was fine. Music helped to calm you down and you listened as long as you could. Stepping into the BAU was different, it felt like you were being crushed the moment you stepped in.

"There's my girl!" Derek Morgan was the first to notice you walk in and he greeted you with open arms and a crushing hug. You smiled, letting him. It had been a while since you last saw him. He let you go after a few seconds, but his hands stayed on your shoulders. "We missed you here, things weren't as fun without you."

"I bet," you grinned, heading to your desk. You could hide your freakout well. "I missed the smell of coffee and paper in the morning."

"(Y/N), glad to have you back," Hotch said, walking down the steps. He did seem honestly glad to see you as there was a small twitch of his mouth when he approached you and Derek. "You're sure you're alright to work again? I assume today is a file day, but we'll be back out there soon."

You nodded, smiling back. "Getting there, but it's controllable now," He narrowed his eyebrows. "I'll be fine for the field and if I'm not, I can always stay at the precinct to work things out there."

Hotch looked to Derek, then back at you. "Sounds good. Again, glad to have you back, agent." Hotch shook your hand and passed you, heading into JJ's office.

"Morgan..." You started, fiddling with your fingers. "Have you seen Spencer?"

"Yeah, he just went to the washroom, why?"

"I need to talk to him..."

The day went on and of course, you saw Spencer, but he paid you no mind. Not even a 'welcome back' or anything. You were just there and it was like you never left, except Spencer didn't even look at you. He was busy with his work and you constantly found yourself watching him. Maybe he'd heard your voice mail, maybe not, but either way, he didn't seem to care anymore.

That month and a half you spent recovering- was it possible that he used that time away from you to get over you? The idea was haunting and tugged at your heart. To be the only one all-in was such an incredibly painful idea. What he said before you were dragged away into the depths of hell meant something to you and it kept you alive... and to think he probably didn't mean it...

You needed to stop thinking about it before it made you burst into a million pieces. To be surrounded by everyone who you loved and loved you back wasn't enough if you couldn't have Spencer, too. Selfish, it sounded so selfish, but it shook you to the core that he wasn't amongst them.

The day continued and more pain was endured. More overthinking, more fear, more insecurity. The day was nearing its end.

Everybody seemed like nobody when Spencer was out of the picture. You had spent so much time thinking about him in the hospital and at home in recovery, who were you without wondering you could make it work? Nobody. Without the fantasy you could be his, you stranded on some sort of island. You were nobody if not Spencer's.

So you were nobody.

It was that thought that keeled you over the edge in the parking lot of the BAU. So much fear, so much pent-up emotion, it was too much to contain and just... spilled over onto everything as your hands began to shake, followed by that godawful feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your knees gave out and you fell conveniently onto the curb next to your car.

There was nobody there, either. You were alone on the concrete curb, face in your shaking hand and the other shaking hand gripping the curb so hard your knuckles turned white. Too much, too little, everything was wrong and you couldn't face Spencer.

You looked up for a brief moment and there was a brief look at someone in a beige cardigan and khaki pants and your heart fell to the pit of your stomach- as if you were humiliated enough. Footsteps, closer.

"A-are you okay?" His voice was a little panicked, definitely not as bad as yours, though. Overall, you were just glad he was within six feet of you.

Of course, you were pretty much unable to reply. Your face stayed in your hands and you felt light fingers on your shoulder, his, and they were somewhat grounding. God, he was here and you couldn't even talk to him, you couldn't even raise your head.

"What do you need, I- what happened?" He cared. But to what extent? His hands felt frantic- they shook a little (again, not nearly as bad as yours) and they moved from your shoulder, to upper arm, to near your neck, to the side of your head. "If this is my fault, I-"

He stopped himself. How could he possibly know that it was the thought of him that sent this into motion? The voicemail didn't entail much other than he was on your mind. You hardly even noticed that you were crying from the anxiety attack until you felt how wet your hands were. Your words kept piling on your tongue and the panic rose again in an entirely new wave.

"Do you- do you need help? I can get Hotch or... Derek, Derek knows, I know, but I don't- I don't think you like me very much and I won't be of help-I-I-I-" His voice continued to ramble and you were flooded with new thoughts. How could he possibly think that you didn't like him? In those moments before you were taken, you had said yes to going out with him if you both made it out. You kissed him back then before the arms grabbed you and dragged you off. Where did the idea of you not liking him come from? It was you who was afraid he didn't like you back.

You wanted to speak, you wanted to say something but you were stuck in your own mind, desperately trying to fight this off, trying hard to calm your breathing. The most you could do was take your hand off of the curb and frantically grab his. You took his hand and you held it tight, trying to slow the sharp intakes of breath. That's when Spencer squeezed your hand and you began to feel better.

And when you did start to feel better and your breathing was still harsh, but better and you could finally move a little more, you did what you had wanted to do every day in the hospital. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around Spencer, your arms resting around his shoulders. You needed it and apparently so did he, because he squeezed you back the same. Either it was that or he knew pressure helped. All you could do was hope it wasn't the latter.

Spencer of course buried his face in the crook of your neck like he had before and you knew now that this feeling was coming to an end. The tide was washing out and there was calm after the storm. No words, just your breathing becoming more natural and the wind over your ears. This was all that you needed.

He stayed like this with you for a good five more minutes before you could finally release him, pulling apart and your hand coming up to wipe under your eyes. He didn't speak then, either- he just watched, his face furrowed in concern.

So you spoke, "Spencer wh-" your voice cut out from still being in that state of anxiety. You coughed into your arm, tried again. "Why would you think I don't like you?"

"I-I- don't think that's the question, I- are you okay?" His hands went back to your shoulders bracingly.

You smiled a small smile, "I'm better, it's passed, but Spencer...' You slid into a whisper with the crying coming back. Had it really passed?

"Yes?" His reply was wary. As if afraid to break you, he tiptoed.

"Answer me, please."

He bit his lower lip into his mouth, sighing. "I don't know if I should, you're- you're upset."

You looked at him, dead-on, determined. "Please."

"You didn't call. Not once and I-I-I was worried and then I started to think about it and everything t-that happened before you were taken and that you probably only said and did that because you were about to-to-uh, die." He rambled, words spilling out. "So I thought maybe you didn't really like me and-"

"I was waiting for you to call, too," you actually let out a laugh. He smiled in realization. "Because I was afraid of the exact same thing. I was afraid you didn't mean it and I worked myself up- I called Friday night, though-"

"I didn't- I didn't know that-" he fumbled to bring his phone out of his pocket and he must have seen that he had a voicemail from you and nodded, a little smile appearing on his worried face. "So you did mean to say yes?"

"And you did mean to ask?" You inquired, head tilted.

"Y-yes, of course."

"Then yes," you replied, smile widening to a grin. "How is Saturday night? I think I'll be better by then."

He was positively beaming as he helped you back to your feet. "Saturday is... great. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Much better.... truthfully." You nodded excessively and Spencer began walking back to his car, but then came back quickly to kiss your cheek.

He was like a child excited to go run and tell friends, "Goodnight!"

"Night, Spence." You stood there, basking in the glory that was solved miscommunication. You weren't nobody, you were in fact, somebody. And you were soon to be Spencer's.

Tags: @ellyhotchner, @softhairedhotch, @laurakirsten0502

REQUEST HERE

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

Reading through your wedding post made me so happy, but then I read about Falco's family 😭 Do you think you could write some of your headcannons of you and Reiner watching Falco for a week while his brother goes on a business trip or something. I can only picture by the end of the week that the house is full of the kids because none of them want to go home because Falco misses his brother and hes sad!! 😭😭

I'm so happy you enjoyed it! And that's such a sweet and thoughtful request how could i say no :( my god it sounds like the perfect comfort fic to write and honestly Falco deserves it💛

And the kiddos comforting Falco is a really adorable idea especially since he's the one looking out for everyone and comforting them most of the time, i can only imagine how loved he'd be by them.

Falco spending a week with you and Reiner

{ Reiner x reader | tw:deceased parents tw:neglectful parents | reverse comfort, fluff | modern }

{ "Tales of Enchantment" by Frank O. Salisbury 1874–1962 }

Around 5am, you and Reiner were waiting in the living room, each holding a cup of coffee. In the past days you got a call from Colt, asking if you can take care of Falco for a week, he sounded really apologetic and so you reassured him it's not trouble at all.

Apparently him and Zeke had a work related trip to a far away town, being understaffed in that town and all, the situation was dire and they couldn't refuse without their rating taking a huge hit not to mention morally too. But as a compensation, the company promised a higher pay to make their effort worth it.

You didn't notice the repeated knocking on the door till a couple seconds later, lack of sleep delaying your senses.

Opening it, you were met with an anxious Colt carrying his little brother in his arms, still asleep in his pajamas. Zeke from behind him carrying a couple bags and backpacks, he waved to you with a smile.

As Reiner took Falco in his arms and some of the bags too, you carried his Marvel school backpack and a list Colt made for all the things Falco needed and liked. He seemed to put a lot of effort in it, somethings in it you didn't even know yourself.

While tucking Falco in your bed, Reiner couldn't help but express his worry over Colt working himself to exhausting, both mentally and physically.

Yeah it was only a temporary thing till Colt graduates college and finds a stable good paying job, whilst taking care of his little brother as much as he can. He's been carrying Falco's responsibility on his shoulder since the funeral without a twitch or a complaint.

You think back to all the times you saw Colt, most being for mere minutes when he came to drop off the kids or pick them up just as his classes ended and before his shift at work started, barely having time for himself yet he chose to spend that little remaining free time on Falco and his friends.

You sit next to Reiner on the bed, gently brushing Falco's hair away from his face as he's sound asleep. He always looked up to his brother more than anyone else and would never let anyone talk badly about him.

It's like his own personal superhero.

"Do you think he'll be sad knowing he didn't get to say goodbye before Colt left?" You ask, still looking at Falco.

Reiner thinks for a moment before answering, "probably, but won't show it" he secures the blanket more around Falco, "sometimes I wonder who's more stubborn with showing their emotions, Gabi or Falco."

"I'd say Zofia wins the acting Oscar" you turn the lights off on your way out, "wasn't it for Udo, we wouldn't know how she's feeling half the time."

Around 10am, a very sleepy Falco merges out of the dark bedroom. Making his way to sit between you and Reiner on the couch, while carrying a blanket around him.

He leans into Reiner's hand when he strokes Falco's hair while you secure the blanket around him. Seeming unusual quiet, you and Reiner shared a knowing concerned look.

Offering to make him his favourite food for breakfast got a smiles out of Falco, Reiner even let him choose what shapes he wants his sunny side eggs as.

While he went to cook and prepare food, Falco shyly leans into your lap as if testing the water.

Please assure him it's okay to seek physical comfort from you, wrap your arms around him and he'll be embarrassed at first to ask to sit on your lap but will love it afterwards.

Just don't tell anyone about it okay? It's something his parents used to do when he was little.

When he heard about Gabi coming over today, he seemed to light up. While Udo and Zofia have weekend music lessons they couldn't make it till tomorrow.

While looking away, he asked if you could watch teen titans go with him.

The rest of the day went smoothly after that, Falco was a good kid in general and a really helpful and understanding person. He helped you both with chores and even attempted to cook pancakes.

While it came out burned, don't tell him that! He's really worried so please make him know you loved it and it was super delicious.

You and Reiner even took him to the dogs park nearby, he had pet so many good dogs till he couldn't count, even played fetch with one. After that you got ice cream on the way back.

When Gabi finally arrived, full of energy and enthusiastic about Falco staying over meaning she too will be staying over

All hell broke loose, it's like a switch had been flipped and the well behaved good boy Falco you know was completely weoponised by Gabi as she pulled him into her mischiefs

By himself, Falco is a good kid, well behaved, polite and responsible for his age. But with adding Gabi to the mix? They're a force to be reckon with.

You could see that Reiner was trying his hardest to deny that his closest cousin Gabi, was the bad influence on other kids all along.

You know? The one leading you off a cliff that your moms tells you not to follow? The rebellious kid with very strong opinions and the will to fist fight god? Yeah that one.

Apparently, no one gave Falco the cliff talk yet because he seemed far too eager to follow her to the end of the earth and down that cliff, he'd even jump hand in hand with her just to protect her from the sharp rocks under.

Gabi was actually looking forward to Falco staying over, since either way she'd spend a couple of days with you and Reiner whenever her parents are away or are too busy. She can't handle feeling lonely in the house, it's one of the worst feelings she's ever experienced.

It reached a point that Reiner gave her a copy of the keys, just so she could come in whenever even if you were at work. He too didn't like the idea of her being alone in a house all by herself, yet her parents didn't seem bothered at all.

But now she has a friend to spend the time with!

Falco was finding comfort in the fact that him and Gabi are currently in similar situations, while his was temporarily he felt better knowing he wasn't alone in this.

By the end of the the day, they managed to build a pillow fort in your living room. No one allowed to enter unless they're bearing offerings snacks

Around 10pm, when both of them fall asleep inside the fort. Falco hugging a pillow to his chest while Gabi still had a controller in her hand.

Of course Reiner took some pictures, how could he not? Especially with the way Falco's fingers were tangled with Gabi's as she had cookie crumbs around her mouth.

He also sent it to the groupchat Zeke made, reassuring Colt that Falco is having the time of his life whilst also sharing their adorable cousins with the rest of his friends.

The week went by faster than anyone could notice, good times always fly fast eh?

Each morning you and Reiner would walk Falco to the school bus before watching him sit next to Udo, sending him off with packed lunch and waving as the bus went away.

After school the rest of the kiddos will come with him home, keeping him company and helping him with homework too. They'd make sure to play Videgames right after.

Porco actually took over the duty of taking Zofia and Udo back to their houses, let's just say their mothers didn't like him at all, but reluctantly agreed after Reiner assured them he's a close family friend.

Each day around 6pm, Colt would video call him on his work break, sometimes with Zeke and other times alone. Falco would tell him about his day and Colt would praise him for all the good work he's done, he'd even share stories of his own and remind him to brush his teeth and eat his vegetables.

After each call, Falco will be noticeably more...down. can you blame him? He really misses him brother.

Sit next to him and hug him close please, he really needs it but he can't bring himself to ask for it. Soothe away his worries and don't mention it if his eyes start watering, just pull him against your chest and let him cry his heart out.

On nights he's particularly sad, he'd sneak into your bedroom to sleep between you and Reiner. It's something he used to do back when he was little, he can't help but miss his parents.

It makes him feel safe so make sure to keep a space for him in there always.

Please stroke his hair till he falls asleep like his mother used to do each night, and let him lean against you while watching cartoons like his father did.

You also noticed how...dotting the kiddos are around him during these times.

Gabi is more gentle with him, even willing to play the games he wants instead of hers. She always teams up with him and her words whenever they win make him smile.

Zofia shares her food with him, something so scarce. She gives up her turn on the tv for him and even defends his choice in what to watch if the others complain.

Udo is the one making him space on the school bus and walking with him home too. Helping him with his homework and holding his hand whenever he seemed to get sad.

Udo and Falco are a great emotional support to each other, they're not afraid to speak about their emotions to the other.

And naturally they're the most comforting, with Zofia botteling up her own emotions and Gabi wrestling through it, it's the two of them who work as the group emotional support backbone.

Reiner couldn't stop talking to you about how proud he is of Udo when he saw him comforting Falco these days, you couldn't agree more.

By the end of the week, the three kids were surrounding Falco on the couch as they played Mario karts.

Zofia was threatening to throw hands with whoever threw that blue shell at her making her last place, Gabi was too busy securing her first place spot.

Udo was leaving strategtic traps in his trail while in third place, making Zofia even more frustrated as she fell into every single one.

Falco was racing with Gabi in second place, attempting to push her kart or power through to the finish line.

When the black and white line came into view, Gabi and Falco's karts were separate by mere inches, both of them attempting to outrun the other.

And when Gabi managed to get a hold of the first spot for three seconds, a flying blue shell knocked her away. Making Falco the winner as he crossed the line.

To this day, Gabi doesn't know if which one of Zofia and Udo were the cause of her demise, but oh she will find the traitor and they will pay.

After that intense scene, they all shared a bag of cookies she brought from home! It was animal shaped.

[wyn-n-tonic]

Golden, Like Daylight -- Part IV

Word Count: 1,925 Warnings: PTSD. Drug use. Ben Affleck. Panic attacks. Bullet wounds. Smut (not explicit but it's there). A/N: Your kind words mean literally everything to me and I have been sobbing between the warmth shown to me over this series and also how much I love Francisco Morales and want the absolute best for him.

MASTERLIST | PART: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX

Gif by: @uuuhshiny

Luna hasn’t stopped wailing since Sunday, the one and only day Frankie said he wouldn’t be able to call.

It’s Thursday and both their lungs are close to giving out.

One Morales woman hyperventilating herself into fitful sleeps, the other only sobbing through held breaths in stolen lonely moments of peace and quiet.

Kristyn had taken up residence in the spare room, making sure Leah slept and ate. She was the one who cashed in Leah’s sick days with the school, forging a bullshit sick note when she went into work.

Leah is currently distraught because her husband might be dead in South America, we don’t know.

That’s what the first one said, dashed out on the keyboard in a petty moment of frustration. She might be the only one of Leah’s sisters who didn't want to lob his fucking head off every time she shed a tear but it didn’t mean she never wanted to do it.

Patient is suffering from a prolonged migraine and intensive nausea. Follow up appointment scheduled for next Thursday at 9am.

That should fucking do it but she’ll have to start checking off the vacation days soon. Dip into family leave for Luna.

Alexa held her on that first Monday, talking her through the panic in a puddle of spilled coffee. The paper cup splashing across their knees in the hallway as concern emanated from the AP Lit room at their backs.

Somewhere at the base of the Andes, her husband was being pried out of a crashed helicopter by the only other men she’d ever truly loved. William was shot, Benny was reckless. She felt it all in her body as she was driven home, helped into the shower, held in her bed but not by the arms she craved.

“He's coming home,” Deana brought dinner that night, her big sister cutting into her steak like she was a child at risk of choking again, “he will do anything he can to make sure of that.”

“What if he doesn’t, D?” Leah’s taken on the stare, everything and nothing all at once, “what if he doesn’t come home this time?”

“I promise you, Lee, okay?” She reaches out to push aside hair damp with tears, “I've never seen a man so in love.”

“Yeah…” she’s quiet, “he promised me too.”

And she told him to stop making promises because he doesn’t keep them.

I think you put a baby in me, Francisco Morales.

The tears well over her eyes, spilling onto already salt stained cheeks.

He made love to her like it was the last time he would ever see her, the last chance he would ever get. He poured his entire being into her, drunk off the feel of their bodies together. She could feel him in the hollow of her ribs, an aching that called out for the comfort of his beating heart against hers again.

Would that be so bad?

She sobbed out, startling Luna’s own ragged cries again, afraid that she would never know warmth against her cold hands again.

—————

“Hey,” they're huddled against the onslaught beneath a barely-there cliff, labored breathing in tandem, “you still with me?”

Frankie’s panic attack came on slowly, a rolling storm in the distance the moment the helo crashed in the valley.

Bad landing.

His fight or flight response has his lungs in a vice grip but he still manages a laugh, “I think I should be the one asking you that.”

“You know it’s gonna take a lot more than a stray bullet to fuck me off,” he’s smiling but Frankie knows how much blood he’s lost, how long it takes for a wound like that to clot without medical intervention.

It’s true, it’ll take a lot more than a stray bullet to take William Miller but that was before, when they had back up. Out here, though? Surrounded by his brothers in arms? Having done what he just did?

Francisco Morales has never felt more alone.

“Fish,” William hits his knee against his, “where are you?”

His eyes refocus on the tepid water pounding all around him, the world coming back as he takes a deep breath, “are you afraid, Will?”

“You gotta be more specific, Frank, I’m terrified of everything.”

He’s quiet when he speaks, “me too,” barely above the downpour.

He sees Will nod in his peripheral, “I know.”

“Will, I’m afraid I’ll never see them again,” and when he chokes, he realizes he’s been crying.

“No, you can’t think like that.”

“I know, but I can’t stop it either, like…” trailing off, he lifts his face to the pressure of the water; it’s the sweetest thing he’s felt in days, “what if this is the last shower I ever take?”

“Fish…” Will reaches for him but he’s cut short.

“No, listen to me. If anything happens to me out he—“

“Nothing is going to fucking hap—"

“Shut up and let me finish,” his rage and sadness is burning hot through him, it takes everything within his being not to choke on air as he speaks again. “If anything happens to me out here, Will, take care of my girls. Please.”

The blond nods his head, heavy with exhaustion and pain, “until the very end of my life, Frankie.”

The relief that spreads through his body is better than any drug he ever tried, he feels himself slipping into an upright sleep, his heart at peace for the first time since he left his bed.

“But,” Will’s voice catches him on the edge of consciousness, “I would also face down the end of my life to make sure you see them again, do you understand me? If the only thing standing between you and a bullet is me, don’t fight. Leave me there and run like hell. You’re going back to your family.”

“But if I don’t make it…”

“Fish,” Will's laugh is drenched in the space between them, “are you saying it’s your last will and testament for me to marry your wife?”

“Fuck off,” his words are clipped, strained, “and don’t call me Fish.”

—————

They still, eyes up to the screen of the baby monitor as they hold their breath for another sound from Luna’s room. The baby settles back into silence, her small chest rising and falling on the grainy feed.

He remembers Leah opening the military grade surveillance equipment at the baby shower, the shake of her laughter as she held onto Benny’s shoulder to anchor herself to the chair.

“Should we check on her?” It’s small, a rushed question of a concerned mother.

“I said a baby monitor, Benjamin, not a prison security camera.”

“Absolutely not,” Ben grabs her hand, “This is better than any of that shit you’ll find at Target. Video means there’s no wondering either, you can just look up and assess the situation, more rest. That’s important, you’ll need to savor the little that you get.”

He pushes a lock of hair from her face, damp with the tears of the day and the sweat of the night, “no, baby, we don’t want to disturb her.”

“Yeah,” Will chimes in, his beer bottle held loosely in his hands, “Frankie should’ve been training you on sleep deprivation this whole time, you’re spec ops yourself now.”

“But what if she wakes up?”

“Well…” the corner of his mouth lifts to close the fan at the corner of his eyes, “it’s a good thing she can’t see us through that thing, right?”

“Francisc—“ the irritation of his name is finished in a heady moan lured from her body by another slow drag of his hips.

The crook of his nose slots against hers as he finds her lips again, the warmth of the room around them is nothing compared to their mouths on each other. Bathing in shared heat, her fingers entwine into the curls at the crown of his head, the other hand palm up to his chest. And as the beating of his heart races towards her burning touch, he submerges himself once again.

His firm grip holds the hinge in her leg, fingers digging into the sensitive skin that fills her lungs with fits of laughter and light. He braces himself against the bed, the aching in his forearm dulled by the soft, breathless whimpers intoxicating his entire being.

His voice is washed out when he finds it, “mi sol,” lips dragging across her own, “mis estrellas.”

Her eyes find his, heavy with admiration and trust. “Francisco,” she is drunk and drowning in the love of this man, “finish me.”

He shifts to cradle her jaw and as he trails his other hand up her thigh, he sinks within her once more. Finding his release against her own, he is convinced they’ll never be able to fully untangle again.

He presses a kiss to her nose.

My sun.

Her forehead.

My stars.

Her lips.

My whole sky.

—————

I think you put a baby in me, Francisco Morales.

He snaps back to reality, Santi and Tom’s voices echoing all around them.

His head is hot, he’s pushing past Will with concern set so deeply in his eyes he fears he’ll break right there.

Would that be so bad?

“Fucking bullshit!” Tom’s face is red, Santi having finally said what all of them are thinking.

He feels the weight of Leah in every fiber of his being, slotted perfectly against his body.

“We're all on the hook for this, are we not?”

I should’ve said no.

“God damn this fucking horse! Stop it!”

All those years blinded by loyalty to authority, Frankie never talked back to his leader but the man in front of him isn’t a leader. He’s a whiny child who’s lost his toys and Frankie hates him.

Biting back what he wants to say, he holds his hand up in a show of camaraderie, “Relax.” His finger quirks up as if he’s scolding a tantrum, “Relax. We’re not picking at the fucking scab right now, okay?”

Tom stares him down, like he’s weighing an argument against him too but Frankie’s done. He meets the taller man’s gaze, this man he would’ve died for.

“One foot in front of the other. Come on.”

This man he almost has died for.

“Let's go. Jesus fucking Christ.”

His true allegiances don’t lie to this man anymore or the gun at his hip. Not the money or the mules. He left that splintered fantasy about twenty feet back.

He’d throw this man over if it meant going home right now.

The money too.

None of it is worth a goddamn thing to him if it means he’ll never see the way that the light bounces off the gold in Leah Morales’ eyes ever again.

The same honeyed flakes in the brown of his daughter’s bright gaze.

I think you put a baby in me, Francisco Morales.

He made love to her like it was the last time he would ever see her, the last chance he would ever get. He wanted to pour his entire being into that woman, ensure that he would live on if lost to the Colombian jungle off a narco's bullet.

Would that be so bad?

He was scared but, truly, would it be so bad?

But it would be because he could truly leave her with nothing. No money, no husband, no father to her babies.

He lost count of the days he hadn’t called.

He makes his way up the mountain, following Tom’s bitching, wishing it was Leah leading him home instead.

TAG LIST: @justanotherblonde23 | @greeneyedblondie44 | @icanbeyourjedi | @princess76179 | @bbuckysbeardd | @notcookiebelle | @knivesareout | @empress-palpat1ne​

[shatouto]

more raised-sith anakin whump and jedi obi-wan comfort, co-written with @obiwanobi ! (also available on ao3) pls check out the rest of the series if you haven’t (it won’t make a lot of sense otherwise)

content note: non-graphic depiction of violence; mention of past sidious-style abuse; just please proceed with care

a little more

Anakin shivers alone in the nightly winds.

He counted exactly five sunsets and sunrises since the meditation incident. Obi-Wan never brought it up again, and acted like nothing happened. He still smiled and joked with such kind eyes; still asked Anakin about his progress on the newest cleaning droid in their quarters and offered to read to him before bed. Even Ahsoka never brought it up, even though Anakin was sure the Jedi would tell his apprentice about his major offense.

He couldn’t eat. He could hardly sleep. His stomach churned every time Obi-Wan said a gentle thing to him, in that usual melodic lilt of his. His breath halted every time Obi-Wan passed him by and pat his shoulder or brushed his hand. His Master had made him wait before, but never for this long without reminding him of his misdeed. But waiting time was meant to make the punishment more excruciating, so perhaps this is the point all along - that he suffers before he gets what he deserves. Or maybe the smiles are only a beautiful facade before the Jedi discards him for good. Because, let’s be frank: what worth does he have here?

The sky is a lightless inky ocean with not even a speck of starlight to speak of. Anakin turns his gaze one more time towards the lights of the Jedi dormitories. This is what he has to do, to be able to stay, he reasons. This is the only way.

He makes his way down.

The Lower Levels of Coruscant are singularly illuminated by artificial light, if they are illuminated at all. Here where celestial lights never reach, every grease-streaked face is tinted in the neon magenta and cyan of gaudy store signs, or the sickly green of long battery life storm lanterns. The alleys are perpetually murky, a certain stickiness that holds the sole of your shoes whenever you peel your feet from the ground. A cacophony of howling fight dogs echoes from afar, and the light above him flickers. Anakin doesn’t even need to glance around.

Here, there is no shortage of fists itching to throw a punch.

It takes little more than a shove and a cuss, to get himself thrown to the ground. Anakin springs back up onto his feet with ease; by then, several people, of various species and stature, have gathered around him. Some of them reeks of booze, others of blood. From there on, it’s easy.

His knuckles collide with a jaw. Bone cracks under his metallic fist. Force-blinds are no match for him; he has taken down dozens on his own when he was but a whelp under Master Sidious’s tutelage, thirteen years of age or so. That’s not to say they don’t land a good blow here and there, but a few bruises on the face are hardly more than a tickle compared to the burn scars that litter his body. When a sudden blast rings in the relative silence and misses him by a hair, Anakin grins. He whips around and uses the Force to simultaneously yank the blaster from the shooter’s hand and fling the marksman across the street. He opens fire.

Some of them fall, some of them run. Some of them remain, and then run when they see him toss the blaster away in favor of meeting them hand to hand. The more they come at him, shoot at him, the more his blood infuses with thrill. He feels renewed in misery, in the knowledge that this show of abandon will surely earn him the punishment he deserves, where all else failed. His metal fingers are capable of cutting skin, breaking bones, if he so wants, and he does. There’s blood on his hands, warm, soaking the sleeves of his too-soft robes. There has always been blood on his hand; a little more doesn’t make any difference.

When he’s done, Anakin thinks, he’ll be back in the Jedi’s quarters and kneel at the door to his bedroom. He’ll wait there, ready, so that when the sun rises, the Jedi will come and see what he has done. This is not something the Jedi can ignore in favor of delaying his punishment. He smiles and shivers at the same time at just the thought of it.

“Anakin, what are you doing?”

Obi-Wan’s startled voice runs him through like a spear. Anakin stops dead in his movements, wide-eyed. Obi-Wan? Here?

His pause promptly earns him a blaster shot to the shoulder. He snaps his head back towards the bastard who shot him, hand thrusted out in a Force-push. The shooter flies through the air and slams against a store sign. Another blaster fires.

Obi-Wan deflects it away from Anakin.

Anakin doesn’t know what’s happening anymore.

He staggers back and back away. This isn’t right. The Jedi should be asleep. He’s not meant to be in this nest of rats and vipers; not meant to know anything of this, to see Anakin in this state—just, just observe the aftermath and dispense his justice. Only the aftermath. Only when Anakin is ready.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Anakin says, his center lowered, his stance battle-ready. The scums around him scurry like cockroaches under the light of a lightsaber, even as Obi-Wan thumbs it off and clips it to his belt. “You should be in bed, not here.”

“The same could be said to you,” Obi-Wan says. Neon lights flicker on his face, his furrowed brows and tight lips, and there’s no light that’s ever been so dull, duller than the spark of dismay in his eyes that Anakin doesn’t want to acknowledge. “I would much prefer you to come back...”

“I have to be here.”

Obi-Wan is unflinching. He crosses his arms not only in a refusal to engage, but also in clear disapproval. “May I ask why?”

It’s the disapproval that makes Anakin’s heart drop.

“No,” he grits, breaths stuttering. He closes and opens his hand and warm sticky blood seeps into the cracks of his palm. If there is some semblance of a reflexive surface here, Anakin would look right into it, so desperate he is to see what color his eyes are. How does he look like to Obi-Wan right now? Does he deserve a punishment yet? Does he deserve anything?

Because if not, if he doesn’t, if he has no worth and Obi-Wan grows tired of him, he’ll be on his own again, facing the fact that he has lost everything and everyone and has nowhere to go and nothing to be. Hells, Anakin knows he shouldn’t be like this. He should be stronger than this. He shouldn’t be so weak as to fear losing any one man, let alone one Jedi, one stupid Jedi; he shouldn’t care; why does he care so much; he hates it, he hates it.

“Why are you here?” Anakin backs away, towards the source of sound - there’s a gambling den nearby, where he could conceivably squirrel himself away. “What are you trying to do?”

Obi-Wan only raises his hands, palm forward. “To get you home. Anakin, you have...”

“Bantha shit,” Anakin spits. They’ve gathered yet again a sizable amount of curious onlookers. “What do you want, Jedi?”

“Anakin, please, calm down—”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Anakin roars, even though that is exactly what he has been seeking. Direct orders, uncomplicated. But not like this. Not with this benevolence. “If you’re not going to answer me then don’t fucking tell me what to do!” He steps back and back, and the only thing the Jedi does is match every backward step of his with one step forward of the exact same length. “Fuck you and your nice little lies; never say one straightforward thing, ever, because you’re too good for it, what a good Jedi. Just say you want to drag me back by the scruff and punish the nine hells out of me.” He gives a teeth-gritted grin. “Say it! I know you want to say it!”

Obi-Wan doesn’t even deign to look taken aback. He says nothing, does nothing, just stands there in that damned little display of harmlessness, so patient, so calm, like he’d be ready to ask for a cup of tea and sip it slowly while watching Anakin any moment now. So that’s how it is, huh?

The bystanders scatter in shrieks when one of them is suddenly lifted in the air, scrabbling at their neck with strangled noises. Anakin’s eyes are not even on them; he glares at the Jedi as his fingers curl. “Say it.”

Obi-Wan finally moves. He stands between the hapless stranger and Anakin. His eyes harden, the shadows on his face sharpen, and his voice turns steel-cold. “No.” He takes Anakin wrist in a vise-tight grip. “Let them go. Stop this, now.”

Finally.

Anakin lets go. Not just of the person, but of everything. He drops to his knees with his wrist still in Obi-Wan’s hand, and when it’s released, his arm swings down limply, colliding with his thigh in a dull slap. His head hangs as his eyes squeeze shut. He tucks his tongue back and tries not to wonder what it’ll be this time - lightning or lightsaber burn, electro-whip lashes or an invisible hand around his neck, water running over his face or the cold hard curved confines of the Sphere...

But nothing comes.

“Anakin.”

Obi-Wan’s voice has always been very soft for someone so capable at fighting; even so, this is probably the gentlest tone he’s used yet.

“Anakin,” he says again, and the name feels safe in his mouth.

Anakin won’t be fooled. His Master liked to lull him into a sense of safety during his lessons, coaxing him to let down his guard just to strike harder after and make sport of his tattered body. He should know better. He should…

“Anakin, please, look at me.”

Obi-Wan’s voice is worth a little more pain.

He opens his eyes to find Obi-Wan’s. The Jedi is crouched before him, close enough to touch if he wanted to. But he doesn’t. Anakin can’t decipher the look on his face or even the hand hanging in the air between them that doesn’t have a lightsaber in it ready to strike him or lightning to burn him.

“That’s it,” Obi-Wan says. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Anakin doesn’t dare to breathe too hard.

Obi-Wan’s brows knit together. “I could not understand why you would leave in the midst of a night to do this. Where have I wronged you?” He sighs again into silence. “You scared me, Anakin.”

A punishable offense. So here’s Obi-Wan Kenobi, listing his sins before punishing him, ordering him to keep his eyes open in wait of the punishment to come. Anakin stares at him, eyes stinging, waiting. But instead of the burning of a blade on his back or a slow Force-choke around his neck, calloused fingers find his wrist. They move lightly above his skin, cautious, taking their time as if to unravel the tension under his flesh, wrapping around his hand. Anakin braces himself for the twist, for the sudden deceit and pain. Instead, Obi-Wan's thumb starts rubbing slow circles on the back of his hand.

“May I take care of you, then?” Obi-Wan asks, and something in his voice breaks a bit. “You’re hurt, dear one.”

These last words are like a saber to his heart. Anakin never thought Obi-Wan could be this cruel.

“Don’t,” he chokes out his last defiance, as his fists start trembling, “don’t call me that.” He bows his head deeply and shuts his eyes and goes as still and silent as possible. His insides are curling in on themselves, yet he doesn’t dare move. He’s nearly holding his breath, as the air moves around him. Fabric rustles, and he can feel arms drawing around him, and This is it he thinks, this is it, the pain will come and he will finally be released—

Obi-Wan pulls him to his chest.

This is not right. This is not real. This can’t be true. Nobody could be this gentle; nobody could forgive just like that, not with the insults and insolence and innumerable unpunished offenses old and new. Anakin does not get touched like this. He should not. His shoulders are squared stiff and his muscles constrict so hard that he starts shaking. He can barely breathe, because every breath knives into his tightened throat. His nose stings and his eyes burn and he gasps for air, only to take in a sharp sob.

“Please don’t… Please don’t do this to me.” Anakin gulps, clutching his own torso, fearful of the sudden warmth and tenderness. “Just—just punish me, I deserve it, please punish m—” He nearly bites his tongue trying to suppress the next sob. Tears always angered his Master. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I beg of you, please stop making me wait, Master, I’m sorry, please, just…”

Obi-Wan pulls back only to take Anakin’s face in his hands. Thumbs wipe over his cheekbones. “I’m not your Master,” he hushes, brushing hair back from Anakin’s forehead. “I’m not going to punish you, Anakin.”

And then Obi-Wan does the unthinkable: he lowers his outermost mental shields. He lets Anakin in, on his own. His concern scatters across the expanse of his psyche like gemstones, like blinking stars. His words are as true as the moon. I would like to bring you home. I would like to keep you safe. Obi-Wan’s hand cradles the base of his skull. Lips press into his hair. I would like to see you smile.

Anakin’s mouth falls open in a wail. He smushes his face against the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck and soaks his robes with tears. He cries his throat raw and parched, cries until his jaws tremble, his teeth clatter, his head goes light. He lets go of his own flanks and bunches his fists into Obi-Wan’s robes instead. Obi-Wan’s arms are wrapped firmly around him like a promise.

Anakin hiccups one last time, and sags.

—

Ahsoka paces near the Temple’s gate. The Temple Guards glance at her every once in a while, and she’s a little bit annoyed, maybe, but that’s nothing compared to the worry brewing in her chest right now. Dawn is peeking at the horizon, and her Master is nowhere to be found.

“I knew this was a bad idea,” she mutters to herself, flooding her and Obi-Wan’s bond with the rightful amount of indignation. You should’ve taken me with you, Master!

She’s surprised to feel Obi-Wan’s response immediately. A brief sense of reassurance, and a nearness - he’s approaching. His presence is too mired in concerns for her to make out the exact message, but she gets the sentiment. Her worries go through and mirror his own. They’re probably worrying about the same thing, then.

Ahsoka knows Obi-Wan is back before he’s even within sight. Yet the sight of him still suffuses her with equal parts relief and amazement. In the light of dawn, her Master marches into the Jedi Temple, a gentle silhouette against the rosy sky. Limp in his arms, head pillowed on his shoulder, is Anakin No-Name, formerly known as Darth Vader, currently unconscious.

“Let them both in.” Ahsoka tells the Temple Guards, showing them her datapad. “Words from Master Yoda.”

Obi-Wan looks at her gently, mouthing a soft thank. Her steps fall beside his, and for a while there are only the sounds of their footsteps echoing in the great hall.

“Master.” Her eyes flick to Anakin, noting his red, puffy eyes in stark contrast with his ashen face and… are those dried tears? There is blood on the ex-Sith’s robes and on her Master’s and she sort of really wants to know which is whose. “Is he alright?”

“More or less,” Obi-Wan answers. Ahsoka frowns at him, yet he seems too deep in thoughts to notice that. She sets a hand on his arm.

“Master, the Council has…”

“I know, young one.” Obi-Wan pauses when Anakin chuffs, shuffling his arm to rearrange the ex-Sith in a more comfortable position, and continues on his way. “I would prefer you to go back to sleep. This is my responsibility to bear.”

[candychronicles]

elysian // s. daichi

A/N: my take on the Haikyuu Headquarters mythology nsfw collab! this was my first time writing for Daichi. i took a greek myth route and had so much fun!!

CHARACTER PAIRING: Daichi Sawamura x F!reader

WORD COUNT: 2,859

WARNINGS: manipulation, oral (F!receiving), mentions of several religions

SYNOPSIS: all your life you had been fighting only to end up at a boring 9-5 with nowhere to turn. Daichi has a proposition and you accept without realizing the consequences. 

Want to read more myths and legends? Click here! 

you were always fascinated with the idea of something larger than you, something so fantastical and great that it consumed the earth over and over again. while many people turned to other religions or no religion at all, satiating their own desires for redemption, love and acceptance, you chose to dig deeper, look at what truly resonated with your life and dutifully settled upon the greek gods. 

they didn’t sugarcoat the bad things they did, that they used their power any way they pleased, that they were stronger, faster and larger than life. they were powerful gods who held powerful positions and were unpredictable, wild and fluid in their dance with humanity. you admired the stories from years ago of how they defeated the titans and split the land between the three sons: the skies for Zeus, the seas for Poseidon and the underworld for Hades. 

Hades had always spoken to you in a way you couldn’t describe. when you worshipped him needing guidance, offering him dark chocolate and sweet, rich red wines, he complied with very little hesitation, always wanting to seemingly please you as long as you kept up your worshipping of him. he became quite moody, jealous and wouldn’t want to talk to you for days if you spent too much time interacting with the other gods. to be frank, you loved the attention he showered you with and felt at ease knowing he would protect you for life.

sighing, you pulled your apron tight around your waist, ready for another day at work slinging coffees and cakes to the less than pleasant customers that walked through the door. being a barista seemed like fun in cliche stories and movies but it was actually just another job that got you through your boring summer. 

it only took an hour before people began screaming and shouting, angry at your lack of speed and pleasant smile on your face. it was just you and two other people there serving a line of ten plus at any given time and while you all tried your best, things never seemed to go the way they were planned.

“one large coffee, black.”

you took a deep breath before plastering a smile on your face, giving the man with the honey sweet voice a price and looking up, the smile threatening to spill onto your cheeks as you recognized Daichi, one of your favorite customers and now good friends.

“thought you might need one friendly face among the crowd of crazy,” he joked, tapping his sleek black credit card against the machine to pay, making sure to leave a hefty tip before nodding and walking away.

he sat for another two hours in the shop, nursing on his coffee and working on his laptop as he waited for you to get a break. when the line finally died down, your rushed from behind the counter and plopped yourself down in the booth across from him.

“what brings your handsome face around here?” you asked, tapping your feet against the ground as the anxiety of the day began to wear off.

“coming to see you as always,” he replied smoothly, downing the last of his coffee before placing the cup back on the table.

“you haven’t been around for awhile,” you pouted, not caring that you sounded desperate.

“i’m sorry but you know work can get oddly busy at times. how about i make it up to you? dinner, tonight at seven? my treat, anywhere you want to go.”

you gaped at him, not sure of what to say. you two had been flirting for months, the only friendly face you had really seen outside of the occasional older lady who always bought you a snack or drink for being so kind and patient with them. he was always sweet as candy, sugary words viscously flowing out of his mouth. at first you thought he was just some tightwad business man looking to get into your pants but as you got to know him, you realized he was just naturally kind, always looking out for the underdog. he treated you with the respect and decency that you deserved and maybe you were just so used to being treated like shit most of the time but his upfront and honest nature just blew you away.

before you had a chance to even reply, he looked at his phone, frowned and stood up.

“i’ll see you at seven, text me your address, yeah?”

with that and a gentle caress of your chin, he practically dissolved into thin air. you blinked once, twice, three times trying to process what had just happened before digging into your pocket to text him your address, not even remembering giving him your number but sure enough, there he sat in your contact with a simple flower next to his name.

the rest of the day went by in a blur and before you knew it, you were sitting on your couch, donned in your best dress, sparkling earrings dangling from your ears and shiny jewels adorning your body. you frowned as you checked the time, noticing it was already ten past seven. just as you were about to give up, you received a text from Daichi.

i’m sorry princess. something big came up at work. i’ll make it up to you. first thing in the morning, dress for the outdoors and bring a jacket, it’ll be a bit chilly where we’re going. i’ll see you then.

you huffed, throwing your phone down on the couch before stuffing your face in your hands, trying not to cry. you began methodically undressing yourself, taking off all your accessories and makeup, barely listening to the TV in the back drone on about some factory explosion that had happened in the next town over, killing two hundred people practically at once. you stopped to share some of the jewels with Hades, lighting his black flame and watching it dance in excitement, thanking him for never leaving you, even in the harshest of times. with all the makeup off, the dress peeled from your body and your shiny jewels laid on the table, you collapsed in bed, too tired and confused to dress yourself again.

a knock on the door had you scrambling off of your bed, hurrying to find a robe before peeking through the peephole to see who woke you up at such an early time on your rare day off. your eyes widened in surprise before squeaking, peeling the door open just a pinch to greet Daichi who held a rather large bouquet of flowers in his hand, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck and squinting his eyes as he held the petals out towards you.

“Daichi, i-”

“i’m real sorry about last night. crazy last minute meeting, totally unexpected. i promised i’d make it up to you though, right?”

you opened the door to him at that, blushing when you realized you were only in your robe before practically sprinting to your bedroom to begin getting ready. when you were ready, jacket in hand, you walked back out, a sheepish smile on your face.

“i uh, really didn’t think you would be here in the morning. thought you were just trying to lead me on or something,” you confessed.

“now doll, i think you know me better than that by now,” he chastised, standing up from your couch to offer you his arm.

you took it instantly, a bounce in your step as you followed him out of your apartment, listening to the door close with a resounding thud. 

it took only a few minutes before you were sat in his sleek black car practically oozing with the feeling of money. you gingerly sat down in the leather seats, instantly feeling drowsy. shaking your head, you tried to fight it off but was stopped by Daichi.

“it’ll be a little bit of a drive before we get to where we’re going. you can take a nap, it’s okay. i’m a safe driver. i promise i won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

with his soothing words, you drifted off into a peaceful sleep, allowing yourself to be completely relaxed in his presence.

a small jerk woke you up and you blinked, looking out the window to see fields and fields of picture perfect flowers. you were practically surrounded by them, the only clearing being the dirt road you came on and patch of grass leading up to a hill.

“Daichi…” you breathed, speechless by the beauty of the location.

“c’mon, lets eat.”

you practically scurried out of the car, eyes wide as you continued to scan your surroundings. he dutifully began taking the picnic out of the car, setting down the blanket, basket, food and drink in a tasteful and elegant way. you absolutely melted seeing all the delicious food that was laid out for you. before you had a chance to eat, however, Daichi grabbed you by the waist, pulling you into his arms and looking you in the eyes.

“y’know, i’ve been absolutely fascinated with you since the first day i met you, all doe-eyed and innocent. the world has knocked you down so many times and yet you still get back up to fight another day. tell me, if i offered you a life of luxury, of eternal peace, full of love and richness, never having to work a day in your life if you didn’t want to, would you take it?”

you were taken aback by his words, not understanding where they were coming from. sure, you two had spent so much time chatting at your coffee shop, sharing your hopes and dreams with him, confiding in him like you would no one else, but you didn’t realize he had taken it all to heart, that he had actually fallen in love with you like you him. you didn’t even realize in that moment that you had even really loved him until he said those words, looked deep into your soul like he knew everything about you and then some.

“i mean, if you’re offering, yeah, i think i’d like a life like that, but maybe once i got to know you first,” you only half joked, wanting to know more about him, a sucker for an idyllic life.

“just say yes and you can spend all the time in the world getting to know me.”

“yes, Daichi, i would take it in a heartbeat.”

he surged forward with that, lips attaching to your own with such ferocity that you weren’t even sure what to do. he tasted like rich chocolate, wine and coffee, a delicious medley on your tongue as you reacted on instinct alone. something about this, with him, felt so right. your head was muddled with thoughts of Daichi and only Daichi, a man who was so mysterious and yet so supportive, always there when you needed him, seemingly popping up out of the blue on your worst days. listening to your problems with a frown on his face, doing everything he possibly could to make you feel better, never overstepping his boundaries and cherishing the time you spent together like there was no tomorrow.

he whispered sweet nothings in your ear as he took you to the ground, flowers crunching around your body as he laid on top of you, nipping and sucking at the delicate skin of your neck, relishing in the way you went breathless just from his lips alone.

“tell me that you want me, that you need me, that you worship me, that i’m the only man you’ll ever need,” he commanded, popping the buttons open on your shirt and ravishing your chest, tweaking your bare nipples in his hands, the cold shocking you to the core.

“you’re all i’ll ever need, Daichi,” you confirmed, too consumed in your own pleasure, wanting to feel more and more of him until he was all you could think of.

“let me take care of you princess.”

with that, he delicately pulled your shirt off, your pants coming down next, your underwear not receiving such a kind fate as they were cruelly ripped off your body. you gasped as you felt his hot breath on your thigh, squirming underneath his touch, the way his tongue danced along your inner thigh, flesh sinking in between his teeth. you whined at the way his cold fingers ghosted over your clit, just barely there but enough to make you go crazy.

“Daichi, please, i need you, please.”

he complied without resistance, his tongue darting out to kitten lick your clit, relishing in the way you instantly melted underneath his touch. you were absolutely enraptured with the way he felt against your body, the cool of his hand tracing seemingly meaningless patterns against your silky inner thigh, his other sinking into your heat, enveloping his digits with warmth, something he rarely felt, his tongue licking and sucking on your bud like your life depended on it. it was all too much, the feeling of him on top of you, doting on you like you were everything to him and you came suddenly, pulsating around his fingers, your own carded in his hair to ground yourself, tears leaking out of your eyes at the sheer feeling of him, only him.

he slowly calmed you down from your high, eyes never leaving his body as his fingers gently continued to pump in and out of you, his other hand continuing to soothe your body, kisses placed anywhere he could reach. when you were finally calm, he removed his fingers, still cold despite the warmth the received, and licked them clean, watching as your eyes rolled in the back of your head at the sight of him worshipping you.

“let’s get you cleaned up and get some food in you, yeah?”

he spent the next few minutes gently wiping you off, dressing you back in most of your clothes sans the underwear he destroyed, a sheepish and apologetic smile on his face as he promised to buy you a new pair, no matter the price. you shrugged your jacket on over your shoulders, finally noticing how cold it was, a chill running straight to your core as you tightened clothing around you.

after a few moments of catching your breath, you stood up with the help of Daichi, walking over to the picnic and sitting down, mouth drooling at the sight of food, suddenly ravenous.

“were you really serious about saying yes, about being mine forever?”

“like i said Daichi, i do want to get to know you better, but i can’t deny i’m not falling in love with you. something about you feels familiar, like you’ve been with me my whole life, like you know me better than i know myself. i feel so comfortable and safe around you. so yes, call me a dumb romantic, but i was serious about that.”

with a satisfied nod, he began feeding you, watching you closely as you swallowed food after food, a delighted smile on your face. you felt stronger, more relaxed, less cold and certainly happier eating and drinking, taking the time to really talk to Daichi, learn about him, his thoughts and feelings, some of his tragic past and your heart hurt more and more as you listened to him.

when all was said and done, you stood up, wiping the crumbs off your body as looked at Daichi, a smile plastered on your face.

“when are you taking me home?” you questioned, looking around the field to see if you could spot anything else to do.

“well, my dear, whenever you’re ready, i’ll show you your new home right away. after all, what kind of king would i be if i didn’t let my queen see her palace right away?”

“what?” you questioned, looking at him quizzically. 

when he stood up, you noticed the whole mood had shifted and so did the world. the flowers, as bright and beautiful as they were, were no longer illuminated by a brilliant sun but rather a striking moon, darkness encircling your very body. you felt cold and yet not cold at all, like it was a very part of your being. Daichi seemed to stand immortally tall before you, an air of authority that was not there before. beautiful houses scattered the flowerbeds, people milling about, people from stories you had read to soothe yourself to sleep as you dreamt of one day being a hero of your own.

“Daichi, what is going on?” you asked, frightened and confused.

“well, doll, i did ask you several times to make sure but i knew in my heart that you would come to accept and eventually love this life as i have,” he started, gesturing for you to turn around to look out behind you, a whole world opening up in front of your eyes, “this is the underworld, i am Hades, you’re currently in the Elysian Fields, now that you ate the food down here, you are an immortal part of me and this, my queen, is your new home.” 

[blouisparadise]

Here are so many amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of November. We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Work Me Breathless | Explicit | 1678 words

Note: this is the sequel to this fic.

Louis visits Harry at work after the doctor got a new promotion. They christen his new office...

Louis leaves a little breathless.

2) Skeletons In My Closet | Not Rated | 2051 words

Basically soft core porn. Harry decided to treat Louis on Halloween.

3) Looks Like We Made It, Look How Far We’ve Come, My Baby | Teen & Up | 2161 words

Louis and Harry are going to officially move in together, they’ve chosen the house and everything is ready, they just need to wait a few months before the owner gives them the keys.

So what’s the problem, you may ask. Well, they’ve been arguing for days and Louis is honestly considering strangling his alpha with one his ridiculously ugly designer scarf. Okay, not really. But he’s going to lose it soon if they don’t stop fighting.

4) Little Devil | Explicit | 2241 words

The pair had just finished taking a round of shots when the one and only Harry Styles saunters over, clapping Niall on the back to say hello. “Louis,” he drawls out, not even trying to hide the fact that he’s raking his eyes over the smaller boy. “You know this is a costume party, right?” Louis rolls his eyes, starting to ramble on about how he is in a costume and what a nit Harry is when he gets it. Harry is saying Louis is a devil.

“And what are you supposed to be Styles? An angel, really?”

“It’s a costume Lou, ’s not supposed to be real,” he says with a smirk, sliding past Louis but stopping long enough to whisper, “I can assure you, I’m no angel baby.”

5) After the Lilo Kiss | Explicit | 2477 words

"I guess I need to show you who you belong to, hmm baby boy?" he growled in my ear while choking me with his other hand.

6) Oh So Thankful | Explicit | 3034 words

Or the one where Louis and Harry both stay at college for Thanksgiving break, and decide to spend the holiday together.

7) Tell Me What You Want (What You Need) | Mature | 3246 words

Louis didn’t plan on getting laid tonight. When he invited Harry over the day before, it was completely innocent. Just two lads hanging out. He still doesn’t plan on it, no matter how hard he’s getting as Harry’s fingernails start scraping over his nipples lightly every time they pass.

8) Calling Out For Someone To Hold Tonight | Not Rated | 3819 words

Harry’s straight. Louis isnt. They still manage to fall in love.

9) Your Love Delights My Soul | Explicit | 4186 words

"Alpha..." Louis moaned against Harry's lips, chasing the friction against his thigh.

"You are my one and only," Harry bit his jaw, "And you know it quite well. Pretty sure I remind you every night, but you have to rile me, have to make me angry. Why, Omega?"

10) Life and Death | Explicit | 4122 words

In which Louis is Life and Harry is Death.

11) When You Turn Off The Lights | Explicit | 4305 words

Gothie Louis/Normie Harry.

12) On My Mind All The Time, Say You're Mine | Explicit | 9261 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

“Dude, we’re inside, and it’s night time. Those don’t look as cool as you think they do.” Louis could kick himself, he sounded so stupid, but it certainly got the guy’s attention.

It was at that unfortunate moment that he noticed several other things about this hot asshole, that he hadn’t noticed just staring from afar. First, when Louis spoke to him, his gaze was kind of unfocused behind his sunglasses, and secondly, that he had a red and white cane folded up under his arm.

“I’m… Blind,” the man chuckled, awkwardly.  

Louis wanted to melt into a puddle out of pure embarrassment.

“I— am so sorry. I have to go.”

“Hey, wait, wait,” the man soothed, grabbing at Louis’ shoulders before he could get away.

“I’m sorry,” Louis repeated, looking down at his shoes.

“It’s alright,” He cackled. “I get it a lot. More than you know.”

13) Let's Break The Internet | Explicit | 9505 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here. Please note that the pairing for this fic is Louis/OMC.

The one where Louis is an Only Fans baby.

14) With the Certainty Of Tides | Mature | 13980 words

“Love you,” Louis whispered in the dark. He didn’t know what time it was or where the light had gone, he knew that he was in Harry’s arms, basking in the afterglow of all their love and he’d be a fool to not tell Harry that. As if Harry didn’t know.

“Love you,” was whispered back, as if Louis didn’t know. They confessed to each other as if it was their first time saying it, raw and painful, and listened to it the very same way, but they knew those words to be the only ones true.

With all the certainty of the tides, with all the light from the sun, with all the steady beats of their hearts, they were deftly in love, in secret and so loudly. They were brave and fearless and strong and hopelessly devoted in every sense of their breaths.

“We made it, baby,” Harry mumbled, bringing their lips into a final kiss, sweet and soft and the color of pink. They already knew that, didn’t fight tooth and nail and argued through every petty year and bleed their hearts into the words they sang and on their skin for them to have not made it home.

They were home.

15) A Moment In Time | Explicit | 14004 words

The one where Harry and Louis used to be together, until they weren’t, but with a twist of fate and a bit of magic, could this be their chance to find forever in each other’s arms?

16) I'm Still A Little Bit Yours | Mature | 14921 words

“Harry?” Louis asked to the empty apartment. "What the hell?" He sat up on the bed, his comforter pooling around his waist. The place wasn’t big enough to lose someone. Harry must have left in the middle of the night. And then he felt it. The new twinge of pain in his already bruised heart. He forcefully threw his upper body back and grunted in frustration. Then he looked over to the bedside table and noticed a note under the cup of cold chamomile tea he never got around to drinking.

He reached over and there were only two words scrawled on the otherwise blank page, “I’m sorry.”

He was so damn stupid! He curled up on his side sobbing and trembling. He covered his face with the comforter, tears soaking his pillow, as he begged his body to go back to sleep.

17) I Couldn't Face A Life Without Your Lights | Mature | 15538 words

Louis and Harry are college students who haven't been the same in the past two years.

18) Practice In Pencil, Seal It In Pen | Explicit | 16486 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry is in love with Louis but he doesn't know.

19) Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) | Not Rated | 16683 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

The one where Harry wants a little more in the bedroom and has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth.

20) The Animals, The Animals | Not Rated | 16721 words

Admittedly, it’s not the first time Louis Tomlinson finds himself in handcuffs.

The difference this time is these handcuffs are attached to a year long sentence. Not just that, but a year long sentence sharing a cell with a possibly mute 19 year old with dark eyes and even darker secrets.

21) Colder Weather | Mature | 19103 words

When Harry comes around, it’s the coldest time of year. Louis, for once, just wants Harry to take him away from colder weather.

22) Across the Grey, Salty Sea | Explicit | 19968 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 212: Alex from Dunkirk and French escort/prostitute Louis who ends up in Alex’s quarters more nights than not. Alex gives him his dog tag to wear maybe just a lot of smut and dirty talk with Louis being a pretty princess.

23) Blinded By The Sparks | Explicit | 22205 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry is a scammer who drifts from casino to casino. Louis is the new waiter who wants in on the scam.

24) Rainbow Bloom | Mature | 22711 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis is in denial. Louis has been in denial for far too long. Then Harry enters his life and everything changes.

25) What A Sight For Sore Eyes | Not Rated | 24216 words

Louis’ playing Danny in their uni’s production of Grease. They’re missing a Sandy, and Harry’s sort of been in love with Louis for a year.

Everything else just kind of happens.

26) MISSING | Mature | 26950 words

Louis brothers report Louis missing after they can’t get hold of him for 24hours

Harry Styles and Charlie Stone, detectives of the teenage homicide and missing persons division, are long time friends of the Tomlinson's and take the case.

27) Even The Best Laid Plans | Explicit | 25175 words

Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

28) Sunflowers, Sunshine, And You | Explicit | 28778 words

Sunshine county is small but mighty and Harry takes pride in knowing nearly each and every person that lives inside of it. For nearly eleven years now he’s been sheriff, and not one of them he’s ever regretted settling down here.

He knows the road names like the back of his hand, knows the people and the animals and the way the world works here. In all of the time he’s been here, not a thing has changed.

So, all things considered, when he starts seeing a beat up pickup truck roaming through town with plates he’s never seen before, Harry, to be frank, jumps on that like a fly on fresh dog shit.

29) Blue Songs Are Like Tattoos | Explicit | 30739 words

“Good morning, University of California, you’re listening to KALX 90.7 FM Berkeley, this is DJ Harry Styles. If the owner of the tapes I’ve been finding around the studio doesn’t come forward and introduce himself, I’m going to continue tossing them straight in the trash!”

or the DJ Harry and Rockstar Louis fic.

30) Sweet Like Honey | Explicit | 33117 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry and Louis need money and they find an unconventional solution in the form of PornHub. It’s not supposed to be a big deal.

31) When Our Worlds They Fall Apart | Explicit | 42228 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry put his hand over his heart as if Louis had wounded him. “You’re so harsh, my liege! Perhaps you need to relieve some tension…” He let his voice trail off suggestively.

“The day I ask YOU to relieve tension is the day I lose all my wits and join the Imperials,” Louis said. “It will never happen”

Prompt 325: Star Wars AU with Harry as Han Solo and Louis as Leia.

32) Somewhere In Between | Explicit | 42765 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis wakes up early. He brushes his teeth and can only stomach a piece of toast for breakfast, dressing quickly and heading for the car. He pulls into the parking lot of the Department of Dominance and Submission just as they’re unlocking the doors. It takes him all of an hour in the uncomfortable chairs to fill out the paperwork to the best and most accurate of his ability, handing it over to the receptionist as soon as he’s finished and wiping his sweaty palms on his business trousers.

There’s a high chance that within ten to fifteen business days, Louis will be matched with a dominant.

Shit.

33) Spoonful of Sugar | Explicit | 42900 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here. This fic is also a sequel to this fic.

Louis Tomlinson cares for his family above all else, a fact that’s led him on a twisted path peddling drugs to support them. Just as he’s made the decision to jump ship, Louis gets snared between the two largest crime syndicates in the city. To keep his family safe he’s forced to trust the man that failed to keep his promise two years ago, the resident drug lord he’s unknowingly been working for, Harry Styles.

34) Breakable Heaven | Explicit | 44594 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

“What do you think?” Louis gets captured by Harry’s green eyes, unable to look away or even take a breath.

“I think you’re the most magnificent creature I’ve ever met.”

“You must not have met many creatures then.”

Harry’s eyes glance downward to Louis’ lips and his tongue darts out to wet his own. “None like you.”

35) You're The Habit That I Can't Break | Not Rated | 44940 words

When Louis crosses paths with a green eyed stranger in prison, he learns that some habits aren't so bad.

36) Fine Line (The Story of Us) | Not Rated | 46191 words

Walking through Harry's album Fine Line. Each chapter reflects a song off the album.

Harry knew he was a lucky guy, really he did. He knew that in the cosmic pulling of straws he had pulled the long one and basically won the lottery. With a number one debut album, millions of adoring fans, and many a celebrity praising his work Harry should feel happier. He should be skipping instead of walking, singing instead of talking, and grinning from ear to ear. Maybe he was ungrateful. Maybe he was numb to it all. Or maybe he had a big, ocean-sized crush on his best friend.

37) Tastes Like Summer, Smiles Like May | Explicit | 47519 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

A cold prince, an alpha with nothing left to lose and a kingdom with a secret.

38) A Silent Whisper (That's Left Unsaid) | Explicit | 50842 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

A Fake Relationship & Exes to Lovers AU ft a failed proposal ten years ago, an oblivious Harry, an overworked Louis, Zayn as the protective best friend, a meddling aunt and a lot of talks about weddings and rings.

39) Lost And Found | Explicit | 51736 words

Where Louis is just looking for his dog but finds love along the way.

40) Don't You Know That I'm a Moon in Daylight? | Explicit | 58770 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 79: Louis and Harry fell in love in the 18th century, Louis wanted Harry to convert him into a vampire, but he ended up resenting Harry for it. Fast forward to our modern days, they haven’t seen each other since then, but one day they meet again through a mutual friend. Harry was bitter for a long time, but he accepted that being angry wouldn't erase the fact that Louis was the love of his life. He wanted to court and spoil Louis like in their original time period, but Louis avoided him every time Harry tried to reconnect. Happy ending!

41) The Guesthouse | Explicit | 61951 words

Louis has a secret that could break him. With every trip to the Guesthouse, with every fuck he offers himself up for, he gets a piece of the freedom back that he's lost.

Seven nights a year he goes to the exclusive sex club; every day he fights to keep that little bit of information to himself.

And there's another thing - his unwavering and pointless obsession with his bandmate.

There's the Guesthouse, and then there's Harry, and Louis works tirelessly to keep the two apart. Soon, very soon now, he won't be able to.

42) My Friend Lost A Bet | Mature | 74965 words

The one where Louis ends up on the list of potential fake-boyfriends for Harry Styles because Stan really sucks at football bets.

43) In A Sea Of Mist | Explicit | 126725 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

A Greek Mythology/Camp Half-Blood AU where Harry is lost, the road to peace is a wretched one, and somehow, through a mist of confusion and regrets, Louis seems to be the only thing that makes sense and everything Harry needs.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[buckleysjareau]

wish i could keep you in amber, safe from the outside

Neither of them say anything as Eddie takes shelter in Buck’s arms, face tucked in the crook of his neck, sheltered from all the bad that’s happened. A safe place.

He can only hope that he’s Buck’s safe place, too.

or

In which Eddie and Buck are struggling after the shooting and they finally have a much needed talk.

Content warning - very non descriptive depictions of war, mentions of blood, suicide statistics and past suicidal thoughts!

(Read on AO3)

Incoming! 

Break, break, break! We’re pinned down and we’re taking fire, two clicks north of our last reported position. 

Prepare for— 

Boom! 

Norwahl, stand down! You gotta get out! What the hell is wrong with you? Norwahl! 

Pain. 

Major 6-4, what’s your ETA? 

Dust off, 47. ETA six minutes. 

We don’t have six minutes. 

Diaz, keep low. Don’t stop. 

Wake up! 

Diaz! I’m black on ammo! 

Go! Go! Go! 

Diaz, he’s dead! 

Diaz, you okay? 

He’s screaming. 

He’s out of ammo— he’s got no other moves left in him. The pain is excruciating. 

Shannon. Christopher. 

I’m sorry… 

He clutches his Saint Christopher medal and he can’t stop the tears. 

Pain. 

Shannon. 

To protect you, to keep you safe. 

–

Eddie shoots up, arms flailing and screaming out something he’s not even sure is comprehensible. His heart is beating out of his chest, won’t stop, and he can’t seem to catch his breath. 

Then his surroundings start to filter in and his eyes land on his son—wait, Christopher?! 

“Chris?” He chokes out, the all consuming fear he couldn’t shake from the nightmare making words hard to speak. “What are you doing here? Are you okay?” 

“Did you have a bad dream?” Christopher asks as he reaches forward to cup his face, wiping away a tear. Eddie almost breaks. He didn’t deserve this kid. 

“Yeah, bud, I did.” He admits with a crack in his voice. 

He’d had that nightmare almost nightly for three weeks after he’d woken up in a hospital bed, his shoulder hurting the way it had when he woke in Afghanistan—Buck by his side being the one thing that stopped him from thinking he was back there. 

It’s been almost two months since that day, and Eddie kept telling himself—and everyone else— that he was fine. That he was talking about it, facing it so he could heal from it. Which wasn’t exactly a lie, he was talking about it with Frank. He just wasn’t exactly facing it as much as Frank is trying to get him to and—he wasn’t exactly fine. 

His heart races whenever he’s outside, subconsciously scanning his surroundings for anything suspicious. He’s constantly alert to everything going on around him—sights, sounds, smells. 

The nightmares started to happen less and less, though, and he could move his shoulder without wincing, the pain down to a dull ache. He was cleared to return to work by his doctors and by Frank. He was ready to go back. 

Or so he thought, until their first call. They were called to a car wreck on Twelfth Street and he hadn’t realized just where that was until the truck pulled up. He’d felt Buck tense up next to him, Eddie’s own muscles tensing right after him. 

Despite Bobby saying he could sit this call out, Eddie declined and pushed past the pounding in his heart, the tightness in his chest and the instinct to duck under the truck when a car backfired near them to do his job. 

He managed to keep it together the rest of his shift. He kept it together on the car ride home, which he has Buck to thank for that. He kept it together through dinner with Carla, Christopher and Buck. 

He kept it together until his head hit his pillow and he could finally break down a little. He’d perfected the silent tears a long time ago, when he was still under his parents’ roof and was taught that crying made him weak. 

He cries until his heart is tired and his eyes flutter shut, no energy to fight the sleep that he knows won’t be peaceful. 

That’s what leads to where he finds himself now, grasping to stay in touch with this reality as his son wipes away the tears in his eyes, soothing him. 

“You’re going to be okay, dad.” He whispers and Eddie chokes out a laugh. 

“When did you get so grown up?” He sniffles before opening his arms wide. “What do you say, you want to stay the night here with me? It’s been a while since you’ve slept in here.” 

Which he’s grateful for because that means Christopher hasn’t been subjected to a nightmare in a long time. But the nights Christopher crawled into his bed after a nightmare didn’t just only help his kid. 

Chris settles in next to him and rests his head on his shoulder, and for the first time in so long, Eddie feels calm. Peaceful. 

He glances down at his son, who’s already asleep once again, and he can’t stop the tears that build in his eyes at the thought that he’d almost left him—again. 

Diaz, you want to ride with the kid to the hospital? 

Yeah, that’d be gr—

His son had already lost his mom, and because of someone with a stupid vengeance, a really close call almost took his father away from him too. 

His emotions are strangling him not for the first time that night. He refuses to wake his son twice in one night, but he feels like he’ll suffocate from the lump in his throat if he doesn’t let it out, so he carefully stands up from the bed without moving his son too much. 

He moves to the bathroom out in the hall, shutting the door behind him before he catches his reflection in the mirror. The bags and dark circles under his eyes make him look like a zombie, brown eyes tearful and dull. The look is familiar to the one he wore for months after he got home from Afghanistan. 

Greggs is dead. 

The others aren’t, thanks to you. 

Greggs...died on impact. 

And you pulled him out anyway. You got them all out, Staff Sergeant Diaz. 

You did good, Diaz. 

Doesn’t feel like enough. 

Splashing his face with water does its job to bring him back to the present but does little to help the lifelessness behind his eyes. 

“Eddie!” 

At the frightened call of his name, Eddie is suddenly ready and alert for any incoming danger. 

He stands with his hand on the handle to the bathroom door, standing still, listening out for the call again. 

“Eddie! No!” 

He’s off without a second thought, fast but quietly running towards the living room where he knows Buck is sleeping. 

“Let me go! Eddie!” 

Eddie’s heart is in his throat at the agony in his best friend’s cries and the sight of him thrashing so bad he’s started to move the couch. 

A sob erupts from Buck’s lip and that’s what kicks Eddie into action. He’s in front of the couch on the coffee table, not too close to crowd him but close enough to reach out if needed. 

“Buck, wake up, it’s okay. I’m okay, you just have to wake up. It’s just a dream.” 

He tries to reach him with words but nothing seems to be getting through, so he reaches forward and shakes him, his name on his lips, and braces for the impact of flailing arms and kicking legs. Nothing comes. 

Except the broken sob around Eddie’s name. 

The tears well up behind his eyes once again but this time, he pushes them back. The first thing Buck sees when he’s shaken out of his nightmare should not be Eddie crying. 

He squeezes down on his shoulder once more and that’s what seems to do the trick. Buck shoots up on the couch, Eddie’s name leaving his lips on a scream, hands clawing at the blankets in front of him—clawing at the blankets like he’d clawed to get away from Mehta to get to Eddie. 

“Eddie!” 

“Buck, Buck, it’s okay, I’m okay. I’m right here. It was just a dream. Buck, look at me!” 

Eddie, look at me! Look at me, man, come on. Stay awake! 

Buck freezes when his eyes finally land on him, but before Eddie can let out a sigh of relief that he’d gotten through to him, Buck is gripping his shirt just over where the bullet went through and the tremors going through Buck go straight through Eddie from the contact. 

“We need to stop the bleeding!” He croaks out. “You’re losing so much blood. There’s so much blood.” 

Shit. Buck might be awake, but his mind isn’t there with the rest of him yet. 

“Hey, Buck, there’s no blood. Okay? There’s no blood. I’m fine, I’m all patched up—” 

He pulls the bottom of his shirt up as much as he can and uses his other hand to move Buck’s hand from the grip on his shirt to the scar just under his shoulder. 

“—see? You helped stop the bleeding. I’m okay, Buck, because you saved me. We’re not back there. You’re here with me in my living room and I’m with you.” 

The fog is slowly starting to clear from his eyes as he traces the scar. “You’re okay?” 

“I’m okay.” He assures. 

Eddie thinks they might be in the clear until Buck looks down at his trembling hands and his breathing picks up, more and more until he’s hyperventilating. 

“Get it off—it needs to—make it go away. Get it off of me. It’s all over.” He sobs and Eddie has to clasp both of Buck’s hands in between his own when he starts to roughly rub at his face. 

Eddie needed to calm himself down. He needs to stay grounded in this moment because Buck was in front of him, but so far away and needed Eddie to bring him back. 

So he takes a deep breath and thinks about how Buck helped him through one of his flashbacks he’d experienced a couple of days after waking up in the hospital. 

“Buck, I think you’re having a flashback right now. That’s okay though, because I’m gonna help get you through it, just like you did for me in the hospital.” 

Buck whimpers. “The blood—get it off.” 

“There is no blood, Buck. Do you hear me? Listen to my voice. It’s Eddie, we’re both safe and okay at my house right now, there’s no blood. If you can hear me, squeeze my hands.” 

Eddie relaxes the slightest when there’s a light squeeze around his fingers. 

“Good, that’s really good. Do you think you can lift your head for a second?” He smiles at him when he lifts his head and meets his eye. “Look around the room. Describe your surroundings.” 

Buck’s grip on Eddie’s hand gets tighter. 

“Okay, how about this—” Eddie pauses and looks around the room, finding the object thrown just a little bit across the room and leans forward to grab it. “Take this, Buck. Can you tell me about it? The details? The feeling? Describe it in great detail for me.” 

Buck pulls his hands away from Eddie’s and grips the blanket in front of him. 

It was a weighted blanket Adriana had given Eddie for his birthday one year, that was however taken by Buck whenever he’d stay over. That weighted blanket was used for comfort by Buck, no matter the mood he was in. It stays at Eddie’s house because Buck is there more often than not, but make no mistake, it was now Buck’s. 

Hopefully this helps. 

“It’s–It’s weighted.” Buck stutters out. 

“Good, good. What else about it?” 

“It’s gray…and plaid…”

–

“I’m sorry that I woke you up.” Buck whispers into the quiet kitchen. 

Eddie sighs. “You didn’t wake me, I was already up.” He admits. 

“Oh. Are you okay?” 

He’s already tensing up, like Eddie’s been hiding that something’s been wrong the entire time, like Eddie wasn’t as okay as he was telling Buck he was. 

Which, technically would have been a lie if he’d been talking about his mental health—but he was reassuring Buck that he was in good physical health, so, nothing to hide. 

Eddie still hesitates. “Yeah, I’m okay.” 

He continues when Buck raises an eyebrow in disbelief. 

“Physically, I’m okay, I promise. Just had a nightmare.” 

It’s completely silent aside from a sharp intake of breath from Buck. 

“You’re still having nightmares?” Is what Buck finally asks, voice wavering and quiet. 

“You’re having nightmares?” Eddie asks, deflecting but also asking out of concern. 

Silence follows after. Buck won’t look up from where his eyes are trained on the mug of tea Eddie had placed in front of him with a look that he’d hoped read I care about you. The heat of his stare could probably heat up the tea on its own, but the look doesn’t deter him, it only makes him more concerned. 

Buck, for the most part, was open about how he was feeling. It’s a quality that Eddie adored and often envied. He liked to—had to—talk his feelings out until he could make sense of them. If he didn’t, it would build and fester and eat away at him until he snapped. The lawsuit was one example of what happens when Buck doesn’t talk out how he’s feeling. 

He knows he has Doctor Copeland and maybe he’s been talking about it to her, but Eddie can’t get rid of the feeling that this is something that has festered over two months and if that’s the case—

Well, he’s terrified of what Buck will do when he finally snaps. 

Up to fifty-four percent of suicides in people with PTSD are attributed to PTSD. 

He swallows the lump in his throat as a statistic he’d read in the book Frank had given him about PTSD makes its way to the forefront of his mind. He has to stop himself from physically flinching away from the thought. 

It was something he brought up with Frank after he’d read the book at his insistence. The statistic had struck something in him then and the question that followed from Frank had given him a lot to think about. 

“Have you recently thought about ending your life?”

It wasn’t a recent thing but it had been an almost consistent thought after he’d gotten back from Afghanistan when his PTSD was at its worst and he hadn’t seen an end to his suffering in sight. 

What if Buck has been feeling the same way? 

What if one day his trauma gets too much and he— what if he—

No. That’s not going to happen, not if Eddie has anything to say about it. 

He breaks the silence. 

“Have you talked to Doctor Copeland about how much you’re struggling?” 

Still refusing to look at him, Buck mumbles, “I’m not struggling.” 

Eddie scoffs. “I believe that.” 

“You should.” Buck huffs out. 

“You’re allowed to struggle with this, Buck. What happened was—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He cuts Eddie off abruptly, his voice choked. 

Eddie crosses the room, pulls out the chair next to Buck from under the table and turns to face it directly at him before sitting down. 

“Well, I’m sorry, but we’re going to talk about it.” He says matter-of-factly. 

“Eddie,” Buck starts, his tone a warning.

“Buck.” He counters in the same tone. 

Buck looks like he’s about to bolt— he knows him well enough to know he won’t, but he still reaches out and gently squeezes Buck’s forearm, not letting go. He can feel how much he’s still shaking and squeezes again in an effort to comfort him—and comfort himself, keep himself and Buck grounded in the present. He’s feeling so on edge himself, so he can’t imagine how Buck must feel after that flashback. 

“We haven’t talked about that day. It’s been almost two months and we haven’t talked about what happened.” He swallows. “Have you talked about it to anyone?” 

The breath Buck takes in is shaky. 

“Why are you so insistent about my struggles when you’re struggling yourself?” His tone is defensive but it has Eddie nodding. 

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, then meets Buck’s eyes. “I am. Struggling.” 

It’s the first time Eddie has admitted to anyone outright that he was struggling. He’d talked to Frank, but he only ever said the bare minimum of what he was feeling and he admits he had no plans to continue his sessions with Frank now that it’s not mandatory. 

The uncomfortable feeling that always comes with being this vulnerable, even with Buck, starts to buzz under his skin but he continues. 

“It’s not something I ever like to admit, you know this...but yeah, Buck, I’m really struggling.” 

At the break in his voice, Buck’s hand is suddenly resting on top of the hand that’s holding onto Buck’s forearm. He remains quiet but he gives Eddie a look that said he was listening if he wanted to talk more. 

He’s not surprised to find that he does want to talk about it more because talking to Buck has always been easy, no matter how hard the topic was to talk about. 

“I was really bad when I came home from Afghanistan after I was given a Silver Star. I was being called a hero by everyone when all I could think was that I didn’t do good enough because Greggs still died, still left three daughters behind.” 

Eddie pauses to take a much needed deep breath and turns his hand that’s under Buck’s palm up and grasps onto Buck’s the second their hands connect. Buck squeezing back is enough to get the next words out of his mouth. 

“I’m really scared that I’m gonna get that bad again, man.” Eddie whispers his greatest fear. “There have been days where I’ve been terrified to leave the house, thinking that they didn’t actually catch the sniper and I’ll be back there again. I can’t go back there again.” 

Buck squeezed his hand again in comfort. 

“I’m always going to be here for you, Eds. I won’t let you go back there.” Buck’s voice is no more than a whisper but the sentiment is so loud. 

He knows Buck will always be there for him, it’s not a surprise, but the simple promise from his best friend was exactly what he needed to loosen the tightness in his chest for the time being. A sob bubbles past his throat and that’s all it takes for Buck to pull him into his arms and give Eddie the tightest hug he thinks he’s ever received. 

Neither of them say anything as Eddie takes shelter in Buck’s arms, face tucked in the crook of his neck, sheltered from all the bad that’s happened. A safe place. 

He can only hope that he’s Buck’s safe place, too. 

“And I’m always going to be here for you,” Eddie whispers against Buck’s neck after a while. 

He feels the moment Buck tenses. He expects him to pull away, to try to convince Eddie he’s not struggling, but instead, Buck sucks in a breath and grips the back of Eddie’s shirt. 

“You almost weren’t.” 

The choked whisper has Eddie tightening his arms around Buck. “But I’m here now and that’s because of you, okay? You kept me alive.” 

He doesn’t just mean the way Buck had gotten him into the safety of the 133’s truck, or the way he did all he could to make sure he hadn’t lost any more blood. 

He fought to come home to Christopher, and he fought to come home to Buck. He held on for those two and those two only. 

Not Ana, who he should have thought of but she wasn’t who he loved. 

It’s a good thing that he hadn’t fought to come back to her, too, because the moment Eddie shut down… she left. He couldn’t blame her, he’d been a wreck when he first came home and his mental health was not on her. 

But Buck was there. Buck never left, has never left, will never leave. If Eddie is sure of anything, it’s Buck’s permanency in his life. 

He’s going to make damn sure he’s a permanent in Buck’s by fighting to come home to him, too. 

“I froze, Eddie. I didn’t do anything.” 

“You did everything you could do in the situation and you saved me, Buck. Don’t you get that? You kept me hanging on, you got me back to my son.” 

He feels Buck shake his head as he starts to burrow his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. He doesn’t respond, just shakes in his arms. A sob escapes Buck’s lips. 

Eddie holds him tighter, using his good arm to rub his hand up and down Buck’s back in an attempt to soothe him. 

“Talk to me, Buck.” He pleads. Eddie is still crying himself—hasn't been able to get himself to stop. 

“There was so much—” He starts off before pushing away from Eddie’s embrace and puts a hand near his throat, rubbing at his skin as if he was scrubbing something off. “So much blood.” 

Yeah, that’d be gr—

—gunfire. 

Eddie shakes his head, trying to dispel the memory from the forefront of his mind. 

“Yo–you–you reached for me, and I cou–couldn’t get to you. Then your eyes closed and oh my God, Eddie, there was so much blood.” 

Buck is pretty much wailing at this point and he can’t help but wonder how Christopher hasn’t been woken up yet from the noise they’ve both made. He doesn’t think he can take the pain in his heart at the anguish in his best friend’s cries and he vows to himself to never cause this pain again. 

He’s still rubbing at his neck, staring directly at Eddie’s shoulder and Eddie doesn’t like the way his stare starts to become distant. He reaches for Buck’s hand and lets out a sigh of relief when he lets him pull it away from his throat. 

“Stay with me, Buck.” 

Stay with me, Eddie! 

Breathe. 

“Shit—fuck—shit, I’m so sorry.” Buck chokes out and Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise—confusion, disbelief… 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, man.” 

“No, no, I do. I’m not the one who got shot, I shouldn’t be—I shouldn’t be struggling like this… and you got shot, you’re dealing with your own feelings about that, you shouldn’t have to listen to me.” 

Eddie ducks down to try to meet Buck’s eye. “Hey, no, it’s not a competition here—who had it more traumatic—no. You were covered in my blood, you were being targeted in active shooter situation—”

“Actually, I wasn’t.” He cuts him off sharply. 

“He was targeting firefighters.” 

“I was in my civies. He wasn’t after me, he was targeting the 133 and you.” The guilt in his statement cuts right through Eddie’s heart. 

“You’re allowed to be struggling, Buck. You’ve got every right to be and I hate that you haven’t talked to anyone about this— it’s been two months. Why?” 

“Because I’m not the one who got shot and because I just freeze like I did then when it’s brought up. I couldn’t get myself to talk about it but now that I have it’s all coming out and fuck, Eds, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

“You were still involved in a completely fucked up situation and anyone who has would struggle. I get it, though. You’re the first person outside of Frank that I’ve talked to about how it’s messed me up. But shit, Buck, I know from experience how much worse I’d be if I didn’t talk about it.” He takes in a deep breath and lets out a humorless laugh. “When did we switch places here?” 

He continues when Buck gives him a bewildered look. 

“You have to talk your problems out to process them and I have never liked talking about my problems. When did you become the one in this relationship to hold it all in and when did I become the one that actually talked about it so I could heal from it?” 

“When I almost lost you.” Buck whispers, his voice wet. “I’m proud of you, though. I’m glad you’re talking to Frank. I hope he’s helped.” 

“Well you didn’t lose me. I’m right here, so talk to me. Come to me when you get like this. We went through the same hellish trauma together so I promise you I won’t get tired of you talking about your feelings from it—about anything.” 

He knows that Buck feeling like a burden is part of his reluctance to talk, it always was whenever Buck came to him to talk about his struggles. 

Buck sighs, tension deflating from his body little by little before he folds over and rests his forehead on Eddie’s chest. Eddie takes his hand that’s not holding Buck’s and cards it through his hair. 

“Okay, fine. I’ll try, on one condition.” 

“Anything.” Eddie means it. 

“You come to me, too.” 

“Deal.” Eddie smiles. “Maybe you can do something for me though?” 

“Anything.” Buck whispers. 

“The second her office opens, set up an appointment with Doctor Copeland.” Eddie almost pleads. “I’m going to book one with Frank.” 

He hadn’t planned on going back to him after the sessions stopped being mandatory but this talk has made him realize a few things, and one of them was that therapy had helped. The difference between Eddie’s return from Afghanistan and the aftermath of being shot was just that—therapy. 

And if it got his best friend to actually talk about it and start healing, too,  that’s a positive bonus. 

“Yeah, o—” A loud yawn escapes Buck that cuts him off. 

Eddie yawns right after him, followed by a snort. “We should probably get some sleep.” 

“I can’t—I don’t want to have another nightmare.” 

Eddie moves the hand in Buck’s hair to his cheek and lightly taps him. He smiles at Buck as their eyes meet. “I’ve got an idea. C’mon, get up, follow me.” 

Buck never makes a move to let go of Eddie’s hand as they walk and neither does he. He goes over to the couch and grabs Buck’s weighted blanket with his free hand and leads him to his room. 

“Eddie?” Buck stops him before he can open the door. 

“Stay with me tonight.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“It would be for me, too.” Eddie squeezes his hand. “Though I should warn you—” He opens his door to reveal Christopher sound asleep in his bed. “I should have said stay with us tonight.” 

“Eddie.” 

“I’m absolutely positive I want you with us tonight.” He answers the unasked question on Buck’s tongue. 

He lifts the blanket and gestures for Buck to get in first but Buck shakes his head. “You can go there.” 

The bed stirs as he gets in. 

“Dad?” Christopher mumbles sleepily. “Buck?” 

“Yeah, bud, Buck’s here. He also had a bad dream, do you mind if he sleeps with us?” Eddie asks, already knowing his son’s answer would be yes. 

Christopher nods with a sleepy smile. 

When Buck slides in next to him, Christopher leans over and cups Buck’s face the way he had cupped his not two hours ago. “You’re gonna be okay, kid.” 

Tears appear in Buck’s eyes but he gives Christopher a wet smile and nods. “Yeah. I think I will be.” 

His son really was the greatest. 

Buck’s insistence that Eddie got into bed before him starts to make sense after Buck starts to fall asleep. He subconsciously slots himself against Eddie’s back and pulls him closer, leaving his arm around him, resting over his heart. 

He wanted to protect him. He’d wanted to protect Eddie from all of the dangers that could come through that door. 

In that moment, Eddie has never felt safer. 

His safe place.

[botw-oneshots-and-other-bs]

The Divine Beast

Chapter 2 - Vah Ruta

A/N: Chapter 1 is right here. I highly suggest you read it before this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy! <3

A full season had passed since Alyss decided to follow Robbie and Purah to the Ancient Tech lab and Alyss had to admit, she was having a lot of fun. The training that Robbie put her through was exhilarating and reminded her just how much she enjoyed fighting enemies. So far, she has only fought Moblins, Bokoblins, and Lizalfos, and her need for larger enemies grew by the training session. After every fighting session and at least once a month, Purah gave her a physical check up to make sure that nothing was changing drastically, or not going back to normal, which weirded her out at first but as their friendship grew she started to not mind them. 

Alyss had become great friends with Purah over the months and often they would sit down and chat with one another over a nice cup of tea. Today was no different. As Alyss sat giggling with Purah over the latest bit of gossip they had heard about two Sheikah scientists hooking up the other night, Robbie came bursting in through the door to the study. 

“It’s been found,” he all but shouted as he jumped up and down on his tippy toes. He looked like a gigantic toddler to Alyss and honestly it made her giggle a little at how insanely cute it was. Over the past season she had found herself lowkey crushing on the eccentric scientist. She would have told Purah but she wasn’t ready to face her emotions, and to be quite frank she wasn’t even sure if her feelings were romantic or platonic. In order to keep them under wraps Alyss would make sure she didn’t look at or spend too much time with him, but that didn’t stop the sideways glances she would give him or the double entendres she would catch him saying to someone while glancing at her. 

Purah jumped up, almost knocking over her plate of honeyed fruit and ran to him, “oh snap no way,” she pointed a small finger into his face. “If you’re lying to me I will end you.” 

Robbie laughed and threw his hands up in defence to the small woman’s playful aggression. “Purah, why would I lie to you about this?” He looked behind her to Alyss who he playfully raised his eyebrows at a couple of times. His goggles blocked most of his silly gesture, but he did notice the way her face lit up in a small pink blush and how she tried to hide it by taking another sip of her tea while pretending not to notice.

Purah jumped back and waved her hands happily as she turned to Alyss and grabbed her hand to roughly pull her up from her chair. “Well then we shouldn’t waste any time! Where are we going?” 

“The Zora’s Domain,” he responded, leading the two women out of the study to prepare for the long trip. 

After a long night of packing, Alyss, Robbie, Purah, and two Hylian Guards were packed and ready with their horses to head for the Zora’s Domain. Everyone was excited and ready to head out and get the field work under way. According to the letter Robbie received along with the news of Vah Ruta’s finding, they were to meet with the Princess, her knight, and her consort when they passed through Castle Town. Alyss wasn’t super excited about meeting with the Princess but not for any reason she had given her. Alyss knew it was selfish and unfair of her to treat the Princess of this time as though she was the one who sealed her away, but it was hard for Alyss to dis-associate her with her ancestor. 

The small group of scientists rode in a comfortable silence the entire way from the Royal Tech Lab to the walls of castle town, but when they got to the town Alyss was the first to break the silence. “Do we have to go to the Castle?” 

Robbie looked over from his beige stallion at her question. He studied her stoic face and heard the dread in her voice at her question. He moved his horse closer to hers while avoiding villagers who were going about their lives on the streets so that he could talk to her respectfully. “I do believe we are meeting them at the gates but you don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.”

Alyss sighed heavily and shook her head at the mere thought of entering the castle once again. She had too many memories there. “No, if everyone else is going it would be rude of me not to…” she grumbled. 

Silence passed for a second as they rode closer to the entrance of the Castle, but it was quickly broken as Robbie held his hand out to her. “I’ll wait with you. How does that sound,” he asked with a warm smile. 

Alyss could tell that his crimson eyes were smiling with the rest of his face even through his brown goggles he was always wearing. Looking from the sincerity on his face to the hand held out in between their horses, Alyss smiled thankfully and placed her smaller hand in his. “Thank you Robbie,” she whispered, truly touched at his gesture of comfort. Little did she know that a certain eccentric scientist was listening to their conversation in front of them and smiling to herself. She knew that there was something going on with Alyss as she would catch her little glances here and there and how she would blush when he spoke to her directly, but she was starting to think maybe there was something there with Robbie as well. Making a mental note to herself, Purah continued to the Castle leaving the other Sheikah behind. 

Alyss slid off of the saddle that was positioned on her teal horse’s back and searched through her bag to find a bright red, juicy apple for the horse. Walking to the front of her horse, Alyss rubbed her horse’s mane and face as she fed her the fruit. “Good girl Sea Foam, eat up. You need your strength.” Sea Foam gave a small nudge to Alyss’s hand happily as thanks for the apple before she walked to a nice patch of shade to lie down and cool off. The Summer sun shining over Hyrule had reached just past it’s peak, but that didn’t make the heat dissipate any. 

“So, enlighten me,” Robbie started as he sat down in some shade and placed his hand behind his back to keep himself up right. He watched as she turned back to him from where she stood watching her horse. “Why do you not like the Castle? You said it yourself, it’s completely different from what you remember, so why avoid it?” 

Alyss sighed and joined him in the shade. Pulling her knees to her chest, she rested her chin on them and picked at a small blade of grass at her feet. “I have some pretty bad memories here. That’s all.” 

“Oh come on there has to be more to it,” he laughed, “but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” 

Alyss looked over to Robbie for a minute and laid her cheek on her knees. “Well… I actually grew to call this place, er, the Castle I knew, home when I left Kakariko Village to train. All I wanted was to be a knight in service to the Princess, but when I offered myself to the King he turned me away. Princess Zelda interjected and said I could be of some use. That I could help defeat the Calamity.” She looked over to see Robbie looking right at her, egging her to continue. 

“I was taken to a laboratory and undressed. The scientists took my blood - which hurt a lot - and laid me down on a gigantic slab of stone over a blue furnace. All I remember is being told that I was going to be their greatest invention yet and that Ganon didn’t stand a chance before everything went dark. 

“When I woke up I felt normal, a little sore, but normal. The Princess stood next to my bed and treated me like royalty, and it wasn’t long until I grew to love her as I imagine I would have loved my sister. She was my best friend, my confidant,” Alyss smiled happily in fond remembrance as she continued, “I trained day in and day out here at the castle against all kinds of people. Great warriors from across Hyrule came to test my strength before they started pitting me against all kinds of monsters. I loved it as much as I love when you send me into battle, but it didn’t last long.” 

Alyss took a deep breath and buried her head in between her knees. This was still hard for her to think about but she figured talking about it with someone she trusted might help take the burden off of her shoulders. With a shaky breath and clenched fists she continued her story, “I lost myself. The beast inside of me took over. All I heard was a sickening voice taunting me, telling me my friends and family would die, and I couldn’t save them. It drove me crazy, I couldn’t escape, and I almost killed someone,” she whispered. She could feel the familiar tightening sensation in her chest as her anxiety started to skyrocket. She felt her nails starting to dig into her legs and her skin started to bristle as it did before it turned scaly. “I tried to get away, to make it stop, but I almost killed the King,” she whispered, horrified at herself as tears started to form in her eyes again. “It was a mistake, I would have never done it on purpose, but the voice. That voice, it-” She was broken out of her trance when she felt a strong hand lay itself on her arm and pulled her sideways. 

She didn’t register that Robbie had gripped her arm and pulled her into a warm and comforting hug until her face was pressed flush against his bare chest and the scent of his robes were gracing her nose. “R-Robbie,” she said in astonishment as her face blushed a bright red.

“Is this what was bothering you all those months ago?” he asked, trying to piece together how long she had been dealing with this information alone. He felt his heart break for her, he saw her skin turning and how tightly she held herself. This was not the first time he had seen her like this, but he couldn’t imagine the memories she held inside were that bad. Robbie got no vocal answer to his question, but he took the way she wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to pull her into a tighter hug as his answer. 

Resting his forehead against the top of her head he tried to provide the most comforting hug he possibly could. “You have been alive a very long time according to the scroll we found, and Alyss from what I have personally seen in the past season is nothing short of someone who is an amazing and a wonderful person. Please don’t beat yourself up over something you did ten thousand years ago, especially if it was an accident.” 

Robbie received no answer, but he was ok with that. He cared about this woman and he wasn’t sure just how much yet, but what he did know was how bad his heart hurt for her in this moment. It didn’t take long before he heard the voices of his colleague, the Princess, and Impa heading closer to them from the Palace. He watched as Alyss removed herself from his embrace before anyone could see and went to attend to her horse, picking herself up emotionally the best she could. 

As they left Castle Town’s protective outer wall, Alyss listened to the Princess and her Consort, Impa, talk to the rest of the group about the newly found Divine Beast. She rode Sea Foam beside Link, who made sure he stayed in front of the Princess at all times, and stiffly stared ahead. 

            "Vah Ruta is an amazing Divine Beast," Zelda continued as she filled in Purah and Robbie. "It is absolutely breathtaking and I wonder what secrets it hides within it’s walls.” She was practically jumping out of her saddle with excitement, like a toddler presented with her favorite toy, at the discovery of this beast that it was impossible to not share her enjoyment.

“However,” Impa interjected, “when we used the Sheikah Slate to try and activate it, nothing happened. We tried everything we possibly could to get it up and running, but eventually we decided that you might have better luck.” 

Purah touched her hand to her chin and snapped as though she had a eureka moment, “I wonder if Alyss would be able to activate it.” She looked back to Alyss who had perked up at the mention of her name in curiosity. “After all, she has ancient Sheikah technology residing within her. Maybe this is the reason she woke up at the start of our journey?” 

Alyss shrugged, “I guess I could give it a try, but I don’t really know what I would do.”

“Oh don’t be so hard on yourself,” Purah cooed from in front of Alyss, completely missing the way her face deadpanned. “I’m sure you could think of something the rest of us haven’t. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to try.”

Alyss sighed and threw her hands up in defeat. “Ok, ok, I will do my best.” This seemed to satisfy the others as they all murmured different ideas and ways of going about activating this newly found ray of hope. 

The moon was high in the sky by the time the company rode up to the gigantic horse head that resembled peace and restoration. The horse stables had come to be a welcoming sight as Alyss got more and more accustomed to this land and their ways. Dismounting her horse and giving Sea Foam a light pat to her silver mane she headed into the inn with the rest of the group. The mere thought of food was on nobody’s mind as the Princess paid happily for everyone to have the comfiest beds. Alyss stood next to Link and let out a yawn that turned into a smile as she watched Purah happily run to a bed and jump on it. 

“Hey be careful,” her sister called out claiming the bed to the right of Purah. “These beds will break, you know!”

Robbie chuckled as he walked up to the group and wrapped each arm around Alyss and Link’s necks. “Oh I’m sure these beds have been through much more than Purah jumping on them. I bet they’re really sturdy, right Alyss?” 

Alyss furrowed her brows as she tried to piece together his off handed attempt at flirting in her sleep deprived mind, but her thoughts were interrupted by a loud thud. Looking over at Purah laying on the floor, Alyss let out a hearty laugh as the eccentric scientist tried to pull herself back onto her bed. She barely noticed Link choking back his laughter and the light punch to the side he gave to Robbie as he removed his arm and took his bed closest to the entrance to the inn. It took her a moment to process his flirting, but by the time she had got it, Robbie had already moved to his bed on the other side of Purah. He was letting his hair down to it’s natural length and removing his backpack and goggles that would be uncomfortable to lay down on. Alyss blushed when he looked back to her and winked before laying down on his back with his arms behind his head. 

The only bed left was beside Robbie and as Alyss moved towards it she could feel his eyes following her body. Alyss felt her hands and legs start shaking as though she was wet from head to toe and stuck in a cold breeze. What was this feeling? She was nervous, her hands were clammy, and the mere thought of what could possibly be going through his mind made her shiver harder. Why was she feeling this way? Turning her back to him she let her hair down and shakily placed the clips and rods on the bedside table. 

“Are you ok?” she heard him ask in a taunting tone. It was almost as though he knew exactly what was on her mind. She felt as though she was as transparent as water and he could read every single emotion that ran through her body, every thought that passed her mind, as easily as he could see the rocks sitting at the bottom of a creek. Alyss turned and locked eyes with his. Opening her mouth she racked her mind for any possible retort, but she was exhausted and the only thing on her mind right now was confusion and him. Sighing, she shed her robe, leaving her in her blue tunic. She couldn’t sleep in her entire outfit like everyone else in the group could, but she knew she couldn’t get one-hundred percent comfortable like she could at the Royal Tech Lab as these were open inns and privacy wasn’t exactly a thing. 

Alyss sat down on her bed and pulled her leg up to take off her stocking, ignoring the look Robbie was giving her the best she could and trying to not be so obviously affected. Mustering up some sort of courage, Alyss gave him a side-eyed look and lifted her chin in the air slightly. “Enjoying the show?” She asked to which she received a low hum in response. Alyss laughed softly at him and moved on to her other leg, exposing the soft skin she kept hidden day in and day out. 

“You’ve got nice legs,” Robbie murmured lowly, trying to not wake any of the others on the other side of him. 

“Thank you,” Alyss responded as she discarded the other stocking to sit next to the white one on the table. Laying down, Alyss turned onto her side and faced Robbie. The sleep she so desperately needed was quickly calling out her name, but she was determined to stay awake just a bit longer. She had finally gathered up the courage to ask her question that had taken over her mind. “What is this?” 

Robbie raised an eyebrow and sat up intrigued by her sudden question. He could tell she was quickly falling asleep but if he could get some clarification he would. “What is what?” 

“What is this feeling...” Alyss sighed as she slowly blinked. Her eyes barely registered his gaze upon hers, but still she continued her sleep induced thoughts. “I feel so weird around you Robbie. Are we friends or…” Opening her eyes she looked into his intense gaze and giggled happily, letting the intense wave of sleep she felt drag her further down. Little did she know that her words impacted Robbie deeply. 

Once he was sure she was completely asleep, he quietly slid off his bed and grabbed the folded blanket by her feet, unfurling it, and placing it over her body. He took his time to allow himself to really study her features from the way her legs curled closer to her body when she slept, to the pieces of hair that fell down over her closed eyes. He gently kneeled down to be face to face with the Sheikah woman and traced her jaw down to her neck. “Good night Alyss,” he whispered before placing a gentle kiss upon her cheek and heading back to his own bed to sleep.

The next morning came bright and early for the company. Link made a delicious breakfast of Crepes and simmered fruit for them all as they got themselves and their horses ready for the rest of the trip up to the Zora’s Domain. As they walked, Alyss did her best to keep her distance from Robbie as the memories of last night came to her in bits and pieces. She was embarrassed at how easily he had affected her with nothing but his look and it did nothing to ease the frustration and fear she felt growing within her mind. This is why she found it best to just push herself away from the rebellious scientist and stick closer to Impa and Purah. This put her a little closer to the Princess but she was easy to ignore as well. 

She noticed the confused glances he gave her the few times they had to look at each other as they stopped for breaks throughout the day, but she did her best to shrug them off and pretend as though nothing was wrong. By the time the sun had started its descent and the moon was rising into the sky, the Company could see the Zora Domain which was welcomed like a fresh cup of tea after a long day of hard work. Alyss was watching the full moon rise when the Company stopped halfway across the Luto Crossing. She almost ran her horse into the others but thankfully Sea Foam stopped and whinied. 

“Goddess look at that,” Purah whispered in awe as she stared over the bridge down into the lake below. “It’s even more magnificent than I could have imagined.” 

“I bet there’s loads of information and data on that Divine Beast that I’m dying to get my hands on,” Robbie commented as he rubbed his hands together like a starving man about to tear into the flesh of a perfectly roasted turkey. “Alyss, come take a look at this,” he called out as he looked over his shoulder at her. 

Dismounting, she walked between Purah and Impa, not really paying attention to what was down below them, but when she saw it she gasped. Memories flooded her mind as she once again gazed upon the magnificence of the Divine Beast Vah Ruta. She remembered her mother and father helping make the layouts for the beasts. She remembered when her and Princess Zelda would sneak out late at night to mess around with the prototypes of the Divine Beasts. She remembered talking to the spirit of the Beast as though it was her sibling and the memories they shared as Vah Ruta would shower her with water from it’s trunk. “Ruta,” she whispered softly. Looking down at the water below, her stomach twisted, but she wanted to get to Ruta. She needed to touch her again, but before she could climb over the railing and jump down into the water below, Link had grabbed her hand and pulled her back. 

She quickly turned around to snap at him and tell him to let her go, but when she saw his expression of warning she shut her mouth. Pulling her hand from his calloused touch she held it close and turned back to the Divine Beast giving it one last look. 

“That water is treacherous if you aren’t a Zora or gifted Zora’s armor,” Princess Zelda started with a small smile towards Alyss. She knew how frustrating Link could be, but at the same time she also understood why he pulled her back from the railing. “Do you know Vah Ruta? Do you have any information you can give us?” She asked, trying to be friendly, but she was met with an annoyed expression from Alyss. 

“I don’t remember much that would be useful,” the Sheikah said curtly and very obviously lying. Her expression said otherwise, but it was late and the Princess didn’t want to push just yet. They still had time and the questions could wait until they were safely near Vah Ruta. Alyss climbed onto her horse and squeezed her with her legs to tell her to move forward. The rest of the group followed not too far behind her, but Purah was quick to catch up with her. 

“Alyss, you were there when they were built right?”

Alyss nodded her head. “My parents helped create their insides.” 

Purah laughed and clapped her hands together once. Even though it was nighttime and everyone was starting to get tired from the long journey, the excitement of the Divine Beast provided a nice adrenaline boost for Purah and Robbie. “Insides,” she practically shouted out looking at Alyss and not where she was going anymore. 

Alyss smiled at her and nodded. “I vaguely remember that the insides were extremely complex, but I was just a child when they were being built. Zelda and I would frequent the Divine Beasts as we got older and while she made sure they were holding up well and their pilots were adjusting well, I would talk to them.” Alyss had a far away look as they came upon the main bridge leading into the Zora’s Domain, but the current Princess Zelda’s voice broke her thoughts.

“Talk? They can talk?” She asked, expressing everyone’s question at this new found information. 

“Well, not exactly,” Alyss continued. “It’s been so long I bet they’ve forgotten me. I had most of a connection with Vah Medoh to be honest, but it’s Champion didn’t really like anyone going up to his Divine Beast without his permission,” Alyss scoffed at the annoying memories of the Rito Champion, “What a frustrating man…” 

“What about Vah Abyss?” Zelda asked which caused Alyss to slow down tremendously deep in thought. They had come upon the Zora’s Domain which was practically silent since most of the Zora were sound asleep in their beds, but as Alyss reiterated Zelda’s question as a question of her own, a Zora warrior approached them and bowed deeply to the Princess. 

“King Dorephan has been awaiting your return, your Highness, Lady Impa,” the warrior stood back up and held her spear close to her body. “Shall I escort you to him?”

“Yes, thank you,” Zelda answered politely as the Princess of Hyrule was expected to do. Dismounting her horse and handing it off to another Zora to take care of while they did their work. Motioning to everyone else to do the same, she nodded to the Zora Warrior to lead the way. With this the Zora warrior seemed satisfied, turned, and started to lead the group of people into the Zora’s Domain.

Alyss looked around at the beautiful architecture of the Zora’s Domain. Everything from the dark blue foundation that had not changed one bit from the Zora’s Domain Alyss remembered, to the ginormous fish on the top of the King’s Throne room was beautiful. The waterfalls that cascaded down the sides of the main level of the domain added a soothing ambience that made the entire Domain feel at peace and untouchable by evil and wrong. Alyss followed the group as they climbed the light blue staircase that glowed under her feet. They were almost to the top of the stairwell when a small puddle of water caught Alyss off guard and sent her falling backwards. Alyss let out a small cry as she felt herself falling backwards, but was caught by a pair of strong arms.

“Careful my Lady, these floors are wet and can be dangerous.”

Alyss looked back and smiled kindly at the forest green Zora that had caught her fall. “Th-Thank you, um,”

“Councilman Muzu,” the stingray Zora responded with a warm smile. “I am the Royal Advisor to the King and teacher to the Princess and young Prince. It’s nice to make your acquaintance.” 

Alyss smiled and thanked him as he helped her stand back up right. “Thank you, Councilman, it’s very nice to meet you.” Alyss watched as Muzu bowed and walked up the rest of the stairs to the group who stood with the King watching the two interact. Alyss joined as well but failed to see the frown that darkened Robbie’s face at the sight of Alyss in another man’s arms. He had no reason to feel this way, there was nothing between them except gratitude at him saving her from pain, but that didn’t make the annoyance any less. Was he angry that she should have watched where she was going or was he angry that he should have been there to catch him? Perhaps he was just annoyed she was ignoring him for some reason. No matter the reason, Robbie pushed it deep down to deal with at another, more appropriate time. 

King Dorephan commanded the room with the clearing of his throat and spoke to the Company in his deep, time-worn voice, “Princess Zelda and friends, I assume you are here to research Vah Ruta am I correct?”

Zelda bowed slightly in respect to the King of the Zora, “Yes, King Dorephan. I have brought two of our royal scientists who have logged countless hours into their research to try and reawaken the Divine Beasts powers. I believe that we will be able to mount Vah Ruta and acquire some sort of knowledge that will help us, as long as we have the permission of the Zora people to do so of course.”

When King Dorephan chuckled, the floor underneath the group of Hylians and Sheikah rumbled. He leaned over and smiled down at the Princess. “Do as you need, Princess. We all have our part to play in defeating the Calamity. If you need anything from me or my people we will do all we can to aid you in your research.”

“Thank you King Dorephan,” Princess Zelda bowed. Shortly after their interaction with King Dorephan, the group was led down to the inn that resided in the Zora’s Domain. They were given beds free on orders of the King but the Princess insisted she give the innkeeper something for their trouble. The innkeeper thanked her for her generosity and led the group to their finest water beds. While everyone was preparing to head to bed, Alyss quickly found a bed near Purah and closed her eyes. 

Robbie was confused by this. The entire time he watched Alyss head to bed, not even disrobe and get comfortable just lay down, he couldn’t help but entertain the feeling that she was avoiding him for some reason. What had he done to warrant her avoiding him he wondered as he laid himself down a few friends down from the girl in question. Robbie recounted everything that had taken place the last few days trying to find any reason she would be ignoring him until his eyes eventually closed from exhaustion.

“You wish Mipha to be the Zora chosen to pilot the Divine Beast?” King Dorephan asked Princess Zelda who stood before him.

“Yes, if you would allow it,” the Princess continued in her polite request.

“I’m sorry, Princess. The Divine Beast isn’t up and running and all efforts until now have failed to get it to work. Knowing this, coupled with the information that the Knight who will seal the darkness has not yet appeared, I cannot put my only daughter up against the Calamity. It is too dangerous.” 

Princess Zelda turned to Impa who was behind her in a silent plea for any sort of help to which Impa could only shake her head and offer none. Turning back to the gigantic whale, the Princess nodded solemnly, “I understand your majesty. Thank you for allowing us your time.” With that, the Princess and her consort left the throne room of the King of Zora’s Domain and regrouped with Robbie and Purah in the middle of the common area. 

“I take it he said no,” Purah asked, placing her hands on her hips to which Zelda could only nod. “Well… What do we do now?” 

“I guess we do the only thing we can do,” Robbie continued. “Let’s go see if we can find out anything about the Divine Beast, but…” he looked around, “... has anyone seen Alyss?” When everyone shook their heads no, Robbie nodded and headed back towards the inn where he found Alyss sound asleep on the water bed she chose the previous night. He laid a strong hand on her shoulder and shook her gently so as to not spook her awake. The last time he did that he got smog to the face and it took him a good bit to recover from that blow. “Alyss.” 

Alyss groaned and buried her face into the soft pillow clearly signifying she did not want to wake up. 

Robbie pursed his lips and furrowed his brows as he decided how he should approach this situation. Apparently he wasn’t thinking straight as he gripped the bottom of her blanket and ripped it right off of her body. He watched as Alyss sat up and glared daggers at him, her eyes were purple but her pupils were slits. The area around her eyes was that of reptilian skin, but there was surprisingly no smog this time. Crossing his arms as though he was a stern father of a teenager, he tapped his foot and raised an eyebrow over his goggles. “Morning sunshine,” he spat a little more harshly than he meant it to come out as he was still a little sore over the events of last night. 

“You have three seconds to tell me why you woke me up so early or you’re getting smog to the face Robbie,” she groggily groaned, rubbing her eyes to relieve them of their reptilian skin and slits.

“We need to go examine the Divine Beast, and for your information-” he began as he tossed her blanket back at her forcing her to remove it from her face and glare at him. “-it’s a little after noon.” He walked out of the inn leaving behind a very confused and very frustrated Sheikah. 

It didn’t take long for Alyss to join the rest of the group excluding Lady Mipha and Link who were off doing their own thing together. That made Alyss wonder, did Link and Mipha have some sort of connection he never mentioned? Her thoughts were cut short as they arrived at the edge of a large cliff to the South of the Zora’s Domain and facing the Divine Beast Vah Ruta. 

“Now, Alyss,” Impa started as they broke themselves out of their astonished stupors. The Divine Beast was much bigger than the scientists had anticipated it to be as it easily met their gazes on the top of the cliff. “All you have to do is take the Sheikah Slate and try to activate the Divine Beast, but the only problem is that you have to be able to board it and none of us have succeeded at that yet.” 

Nodding Alyss took the Sheikah Slate into her hands and stared down at the inactive screen. With one tap the screen burst to life but so did Divine Beast Vah Ruta. Alyss’s head snapped up to look at the Divine Beast that had now turned blue and let out a loud trumpeting sound. This forced the company to cover their ears to not be deafened by the noise, but they didn’t expect it to be accompanied by a violent Earthquake that lasted only a few seconds and was forceful enough to throw everyone to the ground. A stunned silence befell the company as they watched Alyss stand up cautiously and walk as close as she could without falling off the cliff. “Vah Ruta,” Alyss whispered, receiving another loud trumpet from the magnificent elephant shaped machine. “It’s been a long time my friend,” Alyss said, smiling happily. Her infectious laughter rang throughout the air as Vah Ruta raised it’s trunk and proceeded to shoot water straight into the air causing it to rain freezing cold water down onto the group as a whole. 

“Ruta, that’s cold,” she exclaimed as the elephant moved it’s trunk back down into the water and let out another loud trumpet. Water dripped off of her body as she held out her hand to touch the curve of Ruta’s trunk that was moved closer to the edge of the cliff. Once her hand made contact she felt a surge of sadness that Vah Ruta must have been feeling being buried for ten thousand years. “I’ve felt your pain,” Alyss started in a lower tone. She was trying to sympathize with the divine beast as she petted it’s trunk the way she used to do all those years ago. “They locked me away as well, but I’m here now and you’ll never be alone again.” 

Zelda finished wringing out her hair and took a small step forward, astonished at the conversation that was taking place. “So this is what you meant when you said that you could talk to them. Alyss, can you ask it about a pilot?” 

Alyss looked at the Princess and tried her best to not just straight up say no, but she knew this was important so turning to Vah Ruta, she asked, “Ruta, do you have a pilot?” She waited for a second but got no trumpet or response of any kind. Furrowing her brows, Alyss stroked Ruta’s trunk and turned to Zelda shaking her head. She turned back to the Divine Beast and asked it if they could board it to which Vah Ruta responded by moving closer to the edge of the cliff. Alyss looked back at Purah and Robbie and motioned with her head for them to follow her into Vah Ruta to which they gladly obliged. 

Once stepping foot inside Alyss looked around in shock. “This is what they built,” she asked in awe. There were pools of water, there were podiums, she had come to recognize through Purah as terminals, placed in many awkward places. The number of spinning cogs that were of numerous sizes was outstanding to Alyss as she reveled in the work that her family did to create these beasts. 

Purah raised the Sheikah Slate she had taken back from Alyss when they boarded and placed it against the terminal directly outside of Ruta’s body where they had entered. The light underneath her feet turned a bright blue she had come to associate with ancient Sheikah technology and with a glance at Robbie, she walked inside to join Alyss. “Holy crap,” she muttered in awe as she looked around with Alyss. “This thing is ginormous!” 

Robbie walked in as well and furrowed his brows making a mental note of multiple pieces of technology he saw. Before he could say anything, Purah was trying out the Cryonisis feature on the Sheikah Slate to open the gate sitting in water. This caught the attention of the rebellious scientist and Alyss as they turned to follow her under the gate and to the terminal. 

“I think we should activate as many of these as we find,” she spoke her thoughts as she placed the Sheikah Slate face down onto the terminal. It’s activation made the three Sheikah’s gasp as a detailed diagram of the inside of Vah Ruta was pulled up on the Sheikah Slate’s screen. 

“This is aMAZING,” Robbie hollered out in excitement as he took one half of the Sheikah Slate in his hand and stared at the screen next to Purah. “What are we waiting for, let's get to it!”

Hours passed as the trio of scientists worked through Vah Ruta to activate the six terminals, but when it came down to activating the main control unit none of the scientists were able to. “I think we have to call it a day,” Alyss muttered as she placed the Sheikah Slate on the main terminal unit again making sure nothing would happen. Sighing, she walked back to Purah and Robbie with a dejected face. 

“Hey, don’t look so down! We made great progress today and I bet we will make much more when we get a pilot for Vah Ruta. It’ll be a SNAP,” Purah shouted, throwing her hand to her face in a rock and roll hand sign. This made Alyss smile and laugh as she agreed with the progress they had made. 

“Let me go tell Ruta goodbye and we can go give the Princess our findings,” Alyss said as she turned to walk towards Vah Ruta’s head. 

Robbie tore his gaze away from Alyss and started walking back to the entrance of Vah Ruta where they entered earlier without a single word to either of the females, but he was quickly stopped by Purah who skipped to catch up to him. “Hey, hey, where are you going?” She had asked when she caught up to his side. Not sparing her a glance since it wasn’t her fault he was feeling this way, Robbie opened his mouth to speak until he was cut off by a loud trumpeting. This made him a little frustrated, but he continued talking, “Well, there’s nothing else I can do here.” 

Purah furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and stepped in front of him only to be sidestepped, “Yeah, but our friend is still up here,” Purah said motioning to Alyss who was walking back towards them and taking her time. She turned back to see Robbie stepping out to the cliff from the entrance to the Divine Beast without saying another word to her. Purah scoffed in shock as she had never seen Robbie act this way before, however when Alyss joined her and asked what was wrong, Purah decided to drop the issue as it was none of her business. Shaking her head and smiling, she and Alyss left the Divine Beast. 

As the sun rose again on their second day in the Zora’s Domain, Alyss had made her way back to the Divine Beast to sit and keep it company. As she reached the cliff they were at the day before, Alyss dropped to the ground with a sigh and put her chin on her knees. “Ruta, can I talk for a bit?” She waited for a brief second to see how Ruta would react, but when she got nothing out of the Divine Beast she continued, “I have all these memories from a long time ago, and I’m afraid to move on with my life. What if the Princess decides to follow in her predecessor’s footsteps and shut me back in that wet cavern? Ruta, they buried all of us under the ground and forgot about us, and now we are here to defeat Ganon yet again. How am I supposed to ignore the thoughts I have and do what’s expected of me?” 

“Well, I think Vah Ruta feels the same way,” a sweet, quiet voice answered her rhetorical questions from behind her. When Alyss turned around she saw two red Zora walking her way, they both had silver headpieces adorning their heads, but one was much smaller than the other. “I’m sorry, not to be rude, but this is kind of a private conversation,” Alyss murmured as she turned back to Vah Ruta who still hadn’t made any attempt at responding to her. The red Zora stopped a little behind her, “ah, yes, I’m sorry to intrude. I came to introduce myself. My name is Mipha, I am the Princess of the Zora, and this here is my little brother Sidon.” 

Alyss turned and stood up bowing slightly as she had seen was the custom of this land, “I am Alyss. It’s a pleasure. Pardon me for my previous rude attitude Princess. I have a lot on my mind.” Alyss looked down to the ground where she saw Sidon smiling back up at her sweetly. The sight made her heart warm and a smile grace her face as she has always had a soft spot for children. 

“Well, I wish to not intrude. I will leave you to your conversation,” Mipha said as she turned and started to walk back the way she came, but Alyss stopped her.

“Wait,” Before Alyss could continue her thought Vah Ruta let out a loud, harsh trumpet making Alyss turn around. A large group of enemies were charging towards Zora's Domain from a distance which made Alyss’s eyes widen. Vah Ruta was not only warning them of the danger, but it said Mipha’s name. This gave Alyss an idea. Running to her and grabbing her hand, Alyss shoved the Sheikah Slate into her grasp. “Princess, take this. Board Ruta and make your way to it's inner chamber. There you will find a large terminal that resembles a flower bud. Use this Sheikah Slate and activate Vah Ruta. You can defend your people and defeat these enemies!”

Mipha turned her head to the side where she heard a loud growl. A large group of electric Lizalfos were charging the area where they stood. 

“I will protect Sidon, you must go and Pilot the Divine Beast,” Letting go of Mipha’s hand, Alyss ran to Sidon and formed a ring of poisonous smog to surround the two of them. “Go!” Alyss shouted as she started taking out the Lizalfos.

The rest of the group stood in the throne room of the Domain going over the information they had gathered from the Divine Beast the previous day with each other, when a Zora warrior ran in shouting about a large group of enemies. Before anyone could move into action, a loud trumpet was heard from the side accompanied by loud shaking steps that everyone soon recognized was a result of the Divine Beast. Thinking it was Alyss they ran outside to check, but what they saw shocked everyone. 

“Mipha,” King Dorephan cried out, but all he could do was watch as his daughter moved Ruta towards the enemies, shooting rays out of it’s tusks destroying multiple enemies at once. It didn’t take long at all for Mipha to wipe out every enemy attacking the domain, and everyone had to admit they were completely shocked. 

“Where’s Alyss and Sidon,” Princess Zelda asked looking around. She didn’t see her anywhere and she knew that Mipha went to talk to her and introduce themselves. 

Before Zelda could ask anything else, Link, Robbie and Purah were off to try and find the scientist and the young Prince. They ran into a good number of lizalfos and moblins that had come down from the mountains during the onslaught. With Link leading them, they were dead within seconds, but this didn’t do anything for Robbie’s nerves. Sure he was jealous and a little hurt, but she was important to their research and a good friend. When they arrived closer to the area, they could see a large ring of smog and a bunch of dead Lizalfos surrounding the two, but as Alyss’s main concern was the Prince and not hurting him, she was quickly becoming overwhelmed. 

“Sidon,” she spoke as she kicked back a Lizalfos into the smog, “leave me!”

“What, no, I can’t!” He shouted back to her. 

“Listen, you’re small enough to break through unnoticed! I will draw their attention, but you have to run and get help,” she tried to encourage him without scaring him. A moment passed as she knocked a Lizalfos back, it’s weapon grazing her arm resulting in a pained hiss. The moment, however, was enough for Alyss to let down the ring of smog. She growled, drawing all of the ugly bastard’s attention to her. She watched as Sidon escaped out of the corner of her eye but while knocking Lizalfos down she noticed Sidon had stopped. “Sidon, run! What are you doing!?” 

“Alyss!” She heard someone shout out before another yell drowned them out. As this shout sounded out, multiple Lizalfos fell at her feet. She looked up to see Purah waving her towards them while Robbie and Link ran towards the young Prince to scoop him up and take him to safety. Smiling, Alyss ran with the rest of the group back towards the Zora's Domain. When they were far enough away from the ugly lizards, she stopped and turned to wrap the rest of the enemies in a large cloud of poisonous smog quickly choking them out. 

After they started to fall, she turned and caught up with the rest of the group. The entire fight took an hour or so at most, but it was a big turn of events for almost everyone. When Mipha brought the Divine Beast back to a cliff easier for her to access and entered the Zora’s Domain once again to join everyone the first thing she did was hug her brother. “Sidon, I’m so glad you’re alright.” Sidon smiled a bright smile and brought his fist up to his face in an “alright” motion. Mipha turned to face the rest of the group and her father who had been quiet through the entire exchange. Bowing, she spoke, “Father, I’m so sorry, I-” 

King Dorephan held up his hand and chuckled, “Mipha, it seems that I have been proven wrong. I’m certain you will make a fine pilot for the Divine Beast as long as you make one promise,” he finished looking at the Princess. “Keep my daughter safe.” 

Princess Zelda smiled and bowed deeply to the King of the Zora’s Domain. “You have my word.”

[ariadneamare]

a playlist for you 2.0 | levihan

word count: 1.2k 

warnings: angst, a lil fluff, a lil nsfw 

a/n: i didn’t think it would be this short but i hope u enjoy! also i’m not proud of how this one went but i tried 

Safe and Sound  // Capital Cities 

Three years passed, and Levi could still not believe where he stood. Right in front of the person he loved most. 

He never imagined these before because he gave up on the idea of finding someone who would love him, and if he told his younger self where he was right now, the Levi from the past would call it bullshit.

Hanji dragged him to a party for New Year’s eve, and although he no longer went to crowded parties after they got together he still went because she really wanted to. 

There she stood, singing her heart out to the music blasting through five speakers in the room. A red cup in hand, he reckoned it held vodka. Levi was not a fan of Hanji drinking too much because she goes crazy after 15 shots, but he let this one pass because it is an occasion and Hanji had a huge smile on her face. 

“Levi, come here!” She screamed and dragged him closer to her body. He could feel warmth everywhere and he will never admit it but it made his dick twitch with the way she breathed in his face. “Dance with me, love.” 

The love Hanji gave him could not compare to any drug out there, he felt so high on seeing her alone. Experiencing the love she gave made him feel so safe. Three years together changed him, for the better. With Hanji, Levi was his best version. 

“I know that we’ll be safe and sound,” he whispered into her ear. Brushing his lips along her jaw and planting a small kiss. 

“We’re safe and sound,” Hanji replied to him, kissing the top of his forehead. 

Nowhere. Levi could not be any happier anywhere else but here. 

Are You With Me // Nilu

“That’s because you aren’t listening to me! I have been trying to get my point across,” Hanji huffs and pushes her clothes inside a small duffel bag. “Everything I say enters one ear and then out the other. Levi, are you with me?” 

“If would also listen to me, we would not be shouting right now.” Levi turned his face to give her a serious look. 

“I am not shouting!! You are, I was talking to you in  a calm manner just seconds ago but you kept denying and so here I am now being accused of starting the fight.” 

A sigh came out of his lips, “I never accused you of starting the fight. I simply said that we would not be shouting at each other right now if you listened to me!” 

“Are you in or are you out?” Hanji tried hiding her tears, a cough escapes her mouth to cover the pain she felt. 

“I have always been in, when did I ever show you that I never wanted this?”

“Then tell me the truth.”

The raven-haired man sat on the other end of the bed, staring at the floor and trying to process everything that was happening. Just weeks ago they were doing really good, he even felt happy. It was just a dream, after all, a beautiful one at that. After the party, things came crashing down. 

It was a single glitch in the system. A fucking stranger to him already, but it happened and now there was no way he could go back to change anything. 

“I told you, didn’t I?” He breathed, clenching his fists and closing his eyes. “It was nothing, why won’t you believe me?” 

Hanji closed the bag before replying, “sucking each other’s faces? That’s what you call nothing? I’m guessing every make-out session we had before going to bed was nothing to you, too. Forget about everything.” 

“Can you not go, please? Can you not leave me?” 

“I can’t afford another heartbreak, Levi. I just can’t anymore.” 

Thinkin bout you // Frank Ocean

Hanji held the phone by her chest, she sighed and stared up at the ceiling. Instagram was the best at reminding her of the things she lost. The screen on her phone lit, her wallpaper a picture of them during New Year’s. 

Levi stood in the middle of the room, a small smile on his lips as Hanji hugs him from the back. She remembers whispering promises to him, and she could recall the way he smirked at her. 

Nifa: Hanji, someone is down in the lobby waiting for you. 

Nifa: He says he isn’t leaving until you come down. 

Nifa: If you don’t want to see him I can call Mikasa to get his ass out of here. 

Hanji slid her phone under the pillow, turning away to rethink everything. 

She loved Levi to death, that man made her the happiest. So much so that she started feeling comfortable in the skin she wore. Levi was her person. 

The device hidden beneath the pillow began to chime again and she took it to check the new messages. 

Sasha: Bestie, I was about to visit and bring you food right? You will not believe who I saw. 

Sasha: It was your man! He looked like he didn’t sleep, I mean I know he really doesn’t but this time it looked worse. 

Sasha: Omg! I am not making you feel bad okay, I was just trying to describe him nicely because he paid for my order. 

Sasha: I’m coming up, open the door for me aight.

Sasha: ily 

Hanji opened Instagram, scrolling through her own feed and seeing all the posts she had of him. One she particularly loved was the candid shot of sleeping Levi, he looked so calm. She wished he had more of those. 

“I’ve been thinkin bout you,” she breathed. “What am I gonna do with you?” 

Mirrors // Justin Timberlake 

On the second week of their fight, Levi approached Hanji and asked if they could talk properly. And because she didn’t want to throw away their relationship without explanation, she agreed to meet him in their apartment. 

The original plan was to break up.

Hanji had her mind set, go back to their apartment just to talk then leave forever. But god was he so good. Levi was not only good at making her see reason, but he was also best at making her see stars. 

She stood from the bed, exhausted from their previous activity. Levi loved breaking her back. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked her from behind, gripping her wrist tightly. “You aren’t leaving.” 

“You don’t decide that, Levi.” 

“I didn’t kiss her, I swear. She attacked me an-”

“You couldn’t fight back?” Hanji bit back, bitterness dripping from her tongue. 

“I did!! I pushed her away, it just so happened that you saw us the second she attacked me.” He pulled her in for a hug, “see how I am hugging you right now. I am begging you not to leave me. Cause I don’t wanna lose you now, I’m looking right at the other half of me.” 

“I fucking hate you,” the brunette’s voice broke. Tears streamed down her beautiful face and she made no effort to hide any of it.

“Go ahead, let it all out. Just don’t let go of me.” 

“I am sorry, Levi. I’m really sorry. I always assume th-”

“Sshhh, it’s okay. I got you.” Levi planted a kiss on her temple, “it’s you and me against the world, four eyes. Never let go of my hand.”

Of the billion songs out there, not one could express what these two felt for the other. Not a poem nor a story, but a touch from the other.

[dorizardthewizard]

The Revival of Akillian: Chapter 9

Prologue / Chapter 8 / Chapter 10

9. NEGOTIATIONS

At six o’clock sharp, Micro-Ice’s alarm clock starts screaming “Get up, Micro-Ice! It’s time!” to the tune of “Your Tracks in the Snow”, the latest hit from Freeze, number 1 in Akillian’s Top 10.

- Grmph! - the boy grumbles, pulling the quilt over his head. – Already? Tell me it’s a nightmare!

In the bed across from him, D’jok straightens up and stretches, yawning.

- Did you sleep badly? I dozed off like Ahito.

- I can imagine. (Micro-Ice emerges from under the duvet and whacks the clock to turn it off) You didn't have to put up with a crazy guy who kept going on about how he would be the greatest football player in the galaxy, all night!

- Are you talking about me? Did I talk in my sleep?

Micro-Ice sits up and stretches. D’jok is already out of bed.

- If only that’s all you did! Right then, it seemed like you had won the Galactik Football Cup all by yourself. In just one night!

- And why not? – questions D’jok, grabbing a towel from his locker to go to the shower.

- Why not what?

- Why wouldn’t we win the Cup?

- There are many reasons! - Micro-Ice shrugs. - Stop dreaming, D’jok… we’re awake now, you know?

“Hello everyone,” Aarch’s voice sounds through a speaker built into the ceiling. “You have exactly half an hour to get ready and join the holo-trainer. Be happy, Micro-Ice: you are finally going to play a match!”

Half an hour later (Aarch does not tolerate delays, nor lack of discipline in general), they all find themselves in the holo-trainer, separated into two groups: on one side, in yellow, are Tia, D’jok and Micro-Ice with Ahito in goal; on the other, in purple, are Mei, Thran and Sinedd, the goalkeeper being represented by a sim. D’jok and Sinedd look at each other.

- Let's go! – calls Clamp, with the press of a button.

The ball bursts from the center hole, flaring between D’jok and Sinedd, attackers of each team. Immediately, there is a fight between the two rivals to recover it. D’jok wins with a short header, passing to Micro-Ice. Thran intercepts the ball with his chest. He passes to Mei, who is immediately tackled by Tia, who returns the ball to D’jok. He rushes towards the goals and finds Sinedd in his way, who sticks to him like a leech. With no other solution than to get rid of the ball, he sends it back to Micro-Ice. Thran immediately comes to mark him, but Micro-Ice manages to dribble around by juggling the ball, foot-head-chest, so fast that Thran can no longer follow... a final flip-flop and presto, Micro-Ice is free from Thran, rushing in turn towards the goal, in which the sim bounces from one foot to the other, his eyes following the trajectory of the ball exactly. Sinedd rushes after Micro-Ice… he throws his foot forward, hitting him in the calf and sending him tumbling onto the fake grass.

- Can’t stand up, Micro-Chip? – taunts Sinedd.

Micro-Ice grabs his leg, wincing in pain – if only that was virtual! Tia comes to his aid, helping him up.

- Foul! - shouts Aarch, who had replayed the footage in slow motion on the console.

- I'll get him, that jerk. – grumbles Micro-Ice.

Leaning on Tia, he casts a hateful look at Sinedd, who walks up to his team with his head held high and his face smirking.

D’jok will take the free kick. The three purple players make a wall in front of the goal. Mei gives Sinedd a look, whether one of reproach or admiration, it’s hard to say. D’jok takes a few steps forward... he runs and fires full force. The ball grazes Sinedd's head - who pulls away at the last minute – and bounces off the top bar of the goal, launching into oblivion.

- What strength! – exclaims Clamp in front of his console. - 120 km/h, are you seeing this?

- I would have preferred if he were shooting less hard but his shot was on target! - reproaches Aarch, in front of the general monitor.

The match continues, with varying degrees of success and a number of errors: missed passes, aborted dribbles, corners, players who collide to retrieve the ball… a somewhat sterile duel between D’jok and Sinedd, about who will hit the hardest or farthest, or who will score a goal first, to the detriment of a less spectacular but more constructed team play.

- Do you know what we’re missing, Aarch? – prompts Clamp with a smirk.

- Time, - Aarch replies, not smiling at all. - A lot of time!

- Maybe, yes... but we would gain a lot if we recruited a good passer... if you know what I mean!

Having managed to steal the ball away from Sinedd, D’jok arrives in front of the purples’ goal, but is blocked by Mei and Thran, who surround him and leave him no way out. Having no one within walking distance, D’jok is forced to shoot in the air, by guesswork... suddenly a kind of rocket flies above him, stops the ball in the sky in a blaze of moving waves, rolls over onto her back and swings her foot on the fly - the ball shoots towards the goals like a missile, hits the poor blue sim and pulverizes him, then sinks into the back of the net.

- Waaaouh! What a goal! - exclaims D’jok in shock.

As usual, Tia takes no personal pride in this. No sooner has she landed than she gets up and goes back to her place, as if nothing had happened.

- Little Tia seems to have adapted perfectly to my holo-trainer! - rejoices Clamp. - I told you, Aarch: with your ideas and my machines, we’ll get there, you’ll see!

A few miles away, in his office in the luxury Confederation building, Artegor Nexus watches Tia’s Breath-magnified goal on his own console. Behind the screen is a small device, no bigger than a credit card, its green LEDs flashing frantically: reception is perfect.

Hacking into Clamp’s hardware proved too easy: Jorg didn't need to break in, or bribe anyone. It was easier to enter the Arena Stadium than a spaceport... if Aarch and his friends continue to be so naive, thinks Artegor, the Red Tigers will hardly have to make an effort to crush them, even with this kid who possesses the Breath: so long as one has studied the tactics of the adversary well and knows all their secret moves...

Artegor pauses his console and opens a transpace channel for an interstellar call: he must send his report to the Honorable Galahaas, Grandmaster of the Shadow Council.

***

The Interplanetary League of Galactik Football has its headquarters on the planet Oeno, a cosmopolitan world mainly made up of archipelagos scattered over a vast pink ocean. This bizarre color of the water, combined with a light but permanent haze, tints the sky over Oeno purple, which, lit by two synchronously rotating stars, offers the most magnificent sunsets in the entire Galaxy. Bathed in a climate of roughly equal mildness from pole to pole, Oeno is a paradise for tourism, water sports and floating palaces. The League’s headquarters, on the edge of a lagoon of delicately pearly waters, is a bizarre construction meant to feature two stylized players, standing up to retrieve a football. But, apart from the sphere which sits at its top, nothing makes it possible to distinguish such a symbol: the building is rather a mess of columns, pillars, and flying buttresses... the architect, a Cyclops, apparently only had a vague idea of ​​humanoid anatomy.

Massimo Spoto, human delegate to the League and vice-president of the Homologation Commission, introduces himself to the receptionist in the vast hall which serves as the entrance, a sort of cathedral all in glass and wooden beams, and steel that rises to a dizzying height, which makes one wonder, considering its incredible angles and overhangs, how it stands at all.

- Is the Commission meeting taking place on the fifteenth floor?

- Yes, sir, it is. - answers the hostess. - Do you have your accreditation? (Spoto shows her the small holo-card) Perfect, sir. The elevators are at the end of the hall.

- I know, thanks.

As he walks towards the elevators, Spoto notices a man sitting in an armchair, absorbed in reading a newscast. He recognizes him: that curved nose, those thick lips, those fancy features, that rebellious lock on smooth, shiny hair… General Bleylok, here? On the day of the Commission’s vote? Bad sign…

Bleylok is one of the leaders of Technoid, and the leader of what is customarily called the Cartel, this square of vengeful officers, nostalgic for the time when Technoid was the main military force of the Galaxy, when it could have made Humans absolute masters of the two most powerful fluxes: the Smog of the Shadows and the Charge of the Lightnings… yet when the Shadow Wars broke out, Bleylok was barely born. Spoto suspects the general of harboring in his fiendish heart something far worse than a spirit of revenge: an inordinate ambition, an unquenchable thirst for power. However, all this hardly concerns the vice-president of the Homologation Commission… except that Bleylok – and therefore Technoid, or at least the Cartel - took a sudden interest for the new Akillian team trained by Aarch, the former star striker of the planet. An interest that Spoto cannot explain, because this team has not yet proven itself and demonstrated the slightest ability to measure up to the current stars of Galactik Football…

Bleylok joins Spoto in the elevator and presses the button for the tenth floor. Being a rather frank man, Spoto decides to attack him head-on:

- There is one thing I do not understand, Bleylok. Why does Technoid want Aarch’s team to be homologated so much?

- I don’t speak for Technoid. - answers Bleylok coldly.

- Ah, excuse me. So why are you, Bleylok, Cartel general, so keen to have this team certified?

- It’s none of your business.

- Yet this is my vote!

- This is my floor. - evades the general.

The elevator doors open on the tenth floor. Before exiting, Bleylok hands Spoto a small briefcase, then slips away with a smile and a small nod.

- But, wait…

Too late: the doors close and the cabin resumes its ascent. Intrigued, Spoto opens the briefcase...

Credits. Thousands of credits.

Because he is vice-chairman of the Homologation Commission, Spoto's voice counts for two...

***

Taking advantage of the fact that the evening is “free time”, Micro-Ice had gone back to see his mother in the Cafeteria. He wanted some good hot chocolate and a slice of pie, just to make a change from the “special sport” vitamin food scientifically studied by Clamp and prepared like a chemical formula by a Scrap, thereby being entirely tasteless. In fact, he mostly wanted to complain and pamper himself a little.

- I have never worked so hard in my life! - he whimpers, slumped over the counter. - It’s sure worse than the ice mines. I’m aching all over, even my hair!

- I saw you on TV, - Gail smiles, stroking his chin. - You were very good!

Micro-Ice straightens up at this and smiles.

- Really? Didn’t I look too tense, mom?

- Nervous, you? The only times you look upset are when you’re sick. (She serves him a large mug of steaming hot chocolate to accompany his slice of pie) What about D’jok and the others? Didn't they come down with you?

- They stayed over there to watch a game on TV. (Micro-Ice sighs, bites into his pie, and swallows a sip of hot chocolate) How do they manage to watch more football? It’s beyond me. If I see one more ball, I’ll pulverize it!

- My poor darling, you’re going to be seeing a lot more balls!

- Why do you say that, mom?

Gail smiles at him again, barely concealing her pride.

- I just heard on TV that your team has been officially recognized by the League...

D’jok, Thran and Ahito (well: if he wasn’t asleep) are also hearing of this in front of the wall-mounted screen in the “relaxation room” in the depths of the Arena Stadium. Live from the League headquarters on Oeno, the unrelenting Callie Mystic clarifies:

- It is now up to the Federation to organize a match between the Red Tigers team and that of Aarch, in order to determine which of the two will have the honor of wearing Akillian’s colors during the qualifying phases of the next Galactik Football Cup...

- Yeah! - D’jok exclaims, punching the air. - I tell you, we will win this cup! I can smell it, yeah!

- You’re right, D’jok! – agrees Thran. - We are awesome!

The two high-five over Ahito’s head, who suddenly wakes up.

- Yeah, awesome! Go, Warren! - he cries.

- Hey, brother, the match is over…

Thran breaks the news to him and the three of them hug, congratulate each other, pat each other on the shoulder, and jump in excitement, shouting victoriously. As they enter the room, Aarch and Clamp observe this joyous commotion.

- At least they’re motivated… - Aarch sighs.

Clamp rests a compassionate hand on his friend’s shoulder.

- We still have a few days to train as much as possible… plus, there’s the friendly match against the Wambas. We’ll get there, Aarch!

- Not without a proper passer. (He clenches his fist) I have to try again. How do I convince him, damn it!

***

Norata is suddenly awakened by a noise. He sits up in bed, heart pounding, and listens... yes, he recognizes a creaking sound: that of the front door, the slides of which have started to rust because of all the humidity from the plants. Good heavens! If he catches Rocket running away to join this bunch of freaks at the old stadium...

He jumps out of bed, puts on a jacket, arms himself with a powerful halogen torch, and hobbles as fast as he can to the entrance, going out into the courtyard which he sweeps over with the beam of his torch: the jet-snow has not moved… but there, next to it - footprints! A robber?

Footsteps behind him in his house! He turns around abruptly, to shine his torch at a face. A face he knows all too well, even though he tried to forget it for fifteen years...

- Do you remember our reaction when dad banned us from playing soccer? - reminisces Aarch. - We wanted to build a rocket so we could escape to another planet!

- If I had listened to dad, I would still have my leg today. - Norata retorts, lowering his torch nonetheless.

- And you would have died like him in the Catastrophe! In any case, we would never have shared all these moments that we lived together... when we set out to conquer the world. Your son is very talented, Norata. Far more talented than we were at his age. He can become a galaxy-renown player!

Norata frowns suspiciously.

- What makes you think he’s good?

Aarch frowns: apparently his father doesn’t know about Rocket’s visit to Arena Stadium, or his training session.

- I can feel it, that’s all. - he evades. - Question of genes, no doubt...

- Good or not, he will be a florist on Akillian, period! There is nothing wrong with that, it is an honorable job!

- But football is his passion, you know that very well!

Norata shines his torch at his brother’s face again.

- You’re here on private property. I’ll ask you to leave, or I’ll call the police!

- Okay, I understood. I won’t bother you with this football thing anymore. You have my word. (Aarch slowly steps out the door, then turns back on the threshold) Farewell, Norata.

Norata watches Aarch go into the night, his head bowed, his step heavy. He remembers that rocket story well. He was eight years old, his brother ten. It was Aarch who drew up the plans. Then the two of them had gone to Arcadia’s Brico-Store to look for materials. The salesman’s eyes had opened wide, and he had laughed at them. “Build a rocket? Sure, no problem. But it’s not a toy store here. We sell gear for grown-ups... you’re not even old enough to handle a laser drill”. Aarch then realized that this business was really beyond their reach. Both had been sorely disappointed... but they left the planet anyway. Later.

Norata rushes to the porch.

- Aarch!

His brother comes to a stop in the snow in the yard, and pivots slowly. Norata holds up one finger.

- One match. I’ll leave you Rocket for one single match: the one against the Red Tigers. If you lose this match, Rocket comes right back here, and I never want to hear from you again. Never!

***

Curled up in the bed of his hotel room, Wouwambou, the captain of Team Wamba, coughs, shivering and chattering his teeth, eyes murky and gray in complexion. What an idea he had to want to accompany his trainer on this cursed frozen planet! While he was so at home, in the heart of the jungle, where the temperature is around forty degrees... but when he learned that the Akillian Federation was offering the trip for two in order to negotiate the conditions of the game of Aarch’s team against the Wambas, he jumped at the chance: the Wambas are a peaceful but poor people, footballers are very poorly paid by galactic standards (although they earn more than enough to live comfortably on their planet) and interplanetary travel is usually an expensive dream...

But Wouwambou had forgotten that, on Akillian, the average temperature is minus ten. As a result, he’s got a rife fever, he’s sick like a swamp gnok. He waits for the doctor, but wonders how he will be able to pay him: a bad flu was not included in the fees… and a doctor’s fee on Akillian is one month’s salary for a Wamba! Too bad, he has to get better, otherwise he will die here, and his team needs him...

There is a knock on the bedroom door. Ah, the doctor, finally!

- Come in, - he manages to articulate in a hoarse voice, between fits of coughing.

It’s not the doctor. Unless Artegor Nexus has changed jobs...

- What... what do you want? How did you find me?

- Why, - smiles Artegor. - When you are a fan of the Wambas like me, you will stop at nothing to visit their illustrious captain! But... it looks like you have a bad flu, my friend?

- Yes, I’m waiting for the doctor...

- And you don’t have enough to pay for one, I imagine? I know the Wambas are not rich...

Wouwambou stares at Artegor with his feverish eyes, wondering where he is going with this. The Red Tigers coach takes a wad of credits out of his pocket and places it on the bedside table.

- With that, you will have enough for a good treatment.

- But what... why...

Wouwambou doesn’t finish, seized with a new bout of coughing. Artegor places a holo-card reader on the table, then walks back to the bedroom door and says in an icy tone:

- She must not be able to play. Ever again. Am I clear enough? I am counting on you, dear friend!

The door slams behind Artegor Nexus. With a trembling finger, Wouwambou activates the reader. In the small field appears a slender young girl with silver hair, kicking a ball ferociously. A halo of bluish lightning emanates from her.