#(which. i’d be totally cool with being weird cat person in the future but like. dude. fuck. what’s up with the double standards)

[clericfication]

yelling softly into the void by rambling in the tags about a subject i should just probably keep to myself

[slitherbop]

Thinking about Papa G...

I Like Him, here’s a post where I ramble about him and the theories I have about his past and future. This is the most open I’ve ever been about my thoughts on a hyperfixation have fun everybody Warning for spoilers

Hi I’m looking after my cats right now and had thoughts about Papa G on private while having a nosebleed and thought I’d write it out more on here since I haven’t seen anyone else point out some of these things and I have an evil brain that makes me want to think about Papa G because I love him he’s my favourite character right now, the more I think about Papa G the cooler he becomes and it’s true that I Do rotate him in my mind

Train of thought started with I was thinking about my OCs and thought what if Papa G had OCs, he’s an artist and has lived long what if he has just so many ideas for characters and stories that he’s accumulated over the years. Then now with his powers he could use his clones to help work on his stories and then he makes some sorta abstract and mysterious comic, like multiple comics and stuff and only shows it to Kid because he lives in the middle of nowhere and doesn’t really care about stuff like audience or publication he’s just living in some artistic bliss.

I think it’s cool that Papa G uses his clones to help with making his yard art but imagine having to wrangle multiples of yourself to create a narrative together. They’re all You but also Not You, think back to his character short where he’s making plans for a construction and makes a clone that instantly comes up with a different idea than him, so it must be wild having different versions of yourself that aren’t all on the same page as you (also in the short they like have different demeanours about them, shout out to silly balloon Papa G)

If Papa G let a clone of his live long enough they could become a completely different person. Different experiences and perspectives create a different version of Papa G. That idea is kinda scary to me especially if it were taken Long Term like a separate Papa G living separate from everyone. And I could see that happening in the show it’s just weird enough to happen. We had a Papa G be super traumatized, what if he let that clone exist longer.

Anyway you know how in that photograph in Mo’s Oasis that’s from around the 70’s that shows Papa G in the background looking Exactly how he does now... I really think time travel is going to be introduced in this, it could totally be the power of one of the thirteen stones and this show is wild enough to do it and is planned up to season 3. So I think what if some Papa G clones were left behind in the past. At this point I’d imagine that Papa G’s powers would be developed enough that his clones could live on without him (the team IS going to be understanding their powers more and gain new abilities, this could be one of Papa G’s.) SO what if those Papa Gs were scattered throughout time having to live out their lives. Imagine living the rest of your life in a different time and place knowing you’re just a clone and that you shouldn’t even exist :[ Papa G sadstuck (I’m sad at this thought)

ANYWAY I imagined a scenario in which one of the Papa G clones in the past contacts the Real Papa G in the timeline and tells him about the stones of power and THAT’S why Papa G said “if I had a nickel for every time I heard that I’d have a dime” to Kid who told him about the stones, hearing it the first time from himself. AND also WHY Papa G instantly knew how to use his powers. Plus also knew to trust Chuck (this ones a stretch I’m just being Gay here) this is where my initial thoughts ended

BUT NOW I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS!!! What if the reason why Papa G’s track record is “Surprisingly” long is because Well Papa G DID do some f*cked up things but also had the addition of some other Papa Gs stuck in the past to really muddle things up for his record as well. That’d be wild and could totally see happening, man. Man I love Papa G there is really no other character who is just a bundle of sunshine but have something Unknown and perhaps messed up implied about him, I want to know how much he has angered the government and want to know why he’s living out in the middle of nowhere with so few people to even know him. He’s just a silly old man.

Also this is because I never really venture out into looking into various media but he’s also the only character I know where their whole thing is creating clones of themselves and is actually given a focus into how f*cked up it is that he has to see himself die all the time and be numb to it, or clones doing things that his original self wouldn’t do and be traumatized by it. I know it’s WAHA funny gags but I think it’s interesting, it makes him a more interesting character to me. I like him I like that his name is George like me and is also an artist all he needs is to be trans gay and cree, alsoalso Green is my favourite colour and I love orange as well I like that he’s an old man in the middle of nowhere That’s The God Dam Dream

I don’t know if I have any more theories at the moment this turned into me gushing about a character who isn’t really too important but I like him ;_; thank you for reading once again I never usually talk at all but I like to when it’s about my favourite thing. I’m going to do things now goodbye

[universallywriting]

could i request Connie testing out they/them pronouns for a day? i think i remember you writing a fic similar to this a while back, so no pressure at all to write this if you feel it's too similar <3

sure! i love projecting onto my faves, lol.

-------------------

Okay, so you’ll be the daughter of Margot Andranovski - the leader of Water’s Circle. Your parents think it’s too dangerous for you to use your powers, so you need to find a teacher, which is where I come in.

Text roleplay was one of those easy things they did when their lives got busy. Somehow, it was simpler to pretend to be someone else, to text out a thrilling adventure, than it was to talk about their own mundane lives.

And it certainly set up opportunities.

Connie’s teeth nipped at her thumbnail as she looked over Steven’s message. A low key kind of opportunity. Steven was perceptive, but he wasn’t psychic. He couldn’t read her thoughts. So there really wasn’t any way he could figure out that a request to roleplay as a nonbinary character had anything to do with her own odd gender feelings.

She typed quickly on the keyboard.

I was actually thinking I’d be the child, not the daughter. They/them pronouns. It won’t be a big deal and it’s totally normal in their world. Is that okay?

Was that too much? Did she draw too much attention to it? Her thumbnail came back to her teeth, clicking loudly in her head in her silent room. They’re silent room? No. She. It was just for roleplay.

Of course it’s okay. We roleplayed as cats. I think nonbinary is on the table.

She sighed, slipping down in her desk chair. Of course. It was Steven. Of course it’s fine with him, and casual, and easy. He spent plenty time fused as nonbinary people. Why would it ever trip him up?

It took her a moment to realize Steven sent another message.

Do you want your character to be Connie?

She blinked. Why?

In case you want to try new pronouns out.

Connie slid further down, right out of her chair, curling up under her desk.

Was she really that obvious? She hoped not. Her parents were accepting enough nowadays but she didn’t want to start her experimentation with them. She definitely didn’t want to try to answer any questions.

Maybe he was just that smart? Or maybe, she just gave off vibes of someone nonbinary? Maybe she seemed like the kind of person who very clearly wasn’t a girl. Maybe, if she did tell everyone she wanted to use they/them pronouns, they would say, “That makes sense. You don’t really seem like a girl.”

Her heart did an odd flip in her chest. That was kind of exciting. Kind of nice. Oh, gees, did that mean something? Why was this so hard? Her eyes dipped down to her buzzing phone.

I’m not saying anything about who you are. I just noticed stuff. And Garnet keeps switching back and forth between calling you they and she.

I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or push anything on you.

I just want you to know its okay to test stuff out with me. I won’t tell anyone. You can change your mind as much as you want. I’m here for you.

You okay?

Her thumbs flew across the screen of his phone before he worried any further.

I’m okay! It’s just confusing. And weird. I don’t even get how someone would feel like a woman? I don’t know why you’d want to be one. It just feels like something that happens to you. And I don’t know what it means that I feel like this about being a woman.

His response came quickly: That’s why you experiment, right?

Right. She let out a shaky breath. Her fingers curl against her lips, her leg bouncing quickly as she thought things over. It was easy with him, wasn’t it? And with the gems. They wouldn’t hold it against her if she tried things out and hated it.

Connie felt like their fingers were made of led as they typed: Okay. Uh. They/them pronouns would be cool to try.

No problem.

The next time they go over to Steven’s house, Pearl called up the stairs, “They’re here! Come down!” and looked back at Connie with her motherly, flustered kind of smile. “Let me know if I made a mistake. I don’t entirely understand this whole gender thing.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they said, and tried not to overthink the little tingly feeling of rightness that buzzed down their spine.

Gender was complicated. They didn’t want to leap to conclusions. But Pearl said, “I’m not really a woman either, you know. I understand why you might find the label stifling,” and that meant something.

Which was a little scary, because it felt very right. Connie wasn’t quite sure what that meant, or what the future looked like, and wasn’t quite sure if being not-a-woman was something they were really quite qualified for.

But their friends were willing to call them whatever they wanted, and that was a good enough start.

[pocketramblr]

Poll Results

Alright, that’s it, i’m tired of trying to sort the answers so yall just get the big list of all the free response answers to that quiz about ofa. be aware some are less safe for work than others.

memorable ones: OfA Snickerdoodle, I’d Give It To A Cat, So You Know Vore Right?, I’m in Love With Nana, Slicey Blood Oath, and Homoerotic Sword Fight

(My answer above is how I think it did happen, not how I want it to happen.) I personally think something along the lines of a Bruce Banner Jennifer Walker blood transfusion where the OFA holder doesn’t realize they’ve passed it on until later.

a tender kiss. perhaps loving. perhaps they're dying, and i already knew that they loved me, either platonically or otherwise, and we always knew that i'd be next. perhaps they tried so hard to make sure it never happened, and perhaps that tender kiss as an apology as much as it is a gift. sure sucks to be gay i guess 

Peacefully? By doing the do and making it a wonderful moment of lovemaking and passing on the future.. If we're in the middle of battle you bet your freaking butt I want them to kiss me dramatically, tell me they love me, and then yeet me away as they turn back to the fight. Ow but relationship goals. 

If we're not romantic because I am obsessed with the Duo Holders ship currently, blood works fine. Ingest it or have them pressing a bloody palm into a wound of mine *shrugs* Gotta pass it along somehow

Personally, I'd rather drink blood instead of hair. It feels less gross. But I'd pass it on as hair just to fuck with my successor

Hair or blood eating, but no touchy-touchy or whatever thx.

Probably a vial of blood so it’s easy and over quick

kiss 👉👈

i would like it to be blood from an already opened wound just cause it would probably less weird, ..........but knowing my luck and because irl my sister has attempted to feed me her baby teeth by shoving it to my lips and saying "eat", thats actually how i would get ofa. ( >:/ i have almost eaten at least two teeth this way because i thought she was being nice and giving me candy )

Consider: doing one of those blood oath things where you swear to be BFFs for eternity except now you also get a quirk out of it. But lbr kissing is way more romantic and you’ve made First/Second my new OTP, so I’ll stick with that for them. <3 But also, maybe to make the kiss option more romantic First thought something more along the lines of wishing he could give ~everything he has/all of himself~ to Second which counted as including his quirk, rather than specifically about giving him the power to defeat his brother?

This is going to sound gross but all ways of transferring DNA is. Just work up a sweat and have the other party drink it. It would probably be the best tasting option which is kinda a weird thing to think about. Nvm sweat doesn't contain DNA looked it up but I don't want to delete all of this so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe a scraping of skin cells

Honestly the hair is probably the way I'd want to go. That or blood. Like just swallowing it.

Look, i know realistically it was probably some desparate on-the-brink-of-death "please defeat my brother" thing and oo, magic he gets the quirk. But consider. First's last fight with afo. Second is holding his bleeding body, crying. First gently cups Second's cheek and pulls him into a bloody kiss before dying. Second pulls himself together just long enough to flip off afo, barely resisting the urge to absolutely slaughter him, knowing he would lose. He finds his successor and trains him to the best of his ability, determined to not lose another person he cared for

I mean like dead skin cells probably dont work right? Except hair works so thats not true. So like you totally could lick someone to get OFA. Like could you imagine the whole holding your hand over someones mouth to shut them up but they lick you and they somehow wind up with your quirk, like crazy. What must have been the trial and error with this stuff cause they must have kept passing it inbetween each other to figure out its dna right. How long did it take for them to realize. Like you’re eating breakfast and theres a hair in your food like ew and why am i stronger now. Overall, comedic timing for getting a quirk would be hilarious.

My apprentice lays broken and bloody beneath me as I cradle them in my arms, crying on to an open wound on their face praying the power will be enough to save them

little bit of skin like a hang nail just like put it in a sandwich and dont thing about it

Put it in my coffee.

If I received it from Nana then I would love to have received it via eating her out~ though for passing it on to others I think I would just either spit into their mouths or shove a bleeding finger down their throat until they swallow and then run and get myself killed by AfO while taunting him with "I DON'T HAVE YOUR BROTHER'S QUIRK ANYMORE! SUCK MY NON-EXISTENT DICK YOU LOSER!"

knock me out and just inject the blood. if i have to actively think abt ingesting someone elses dna im gonna yeet myself into the ocean. to pass it on i'll just spit in a cup (or in their mouth) bc im not gonna make someone eat my hair nor is anyone getting my blood

who in their right mind would trust me with a power like ofa 💀afo just looks at me funny the quirk is his. im not a mc for a reason

Sexy battle where I’m the villain, and randomly the hero thinks “I wish I could save you”. Boom I punch them with bloody knuckles and the quirk passes to me. Now the hero has to teach me how to be good again. Also we fall in love.

You know, I always assumed I would head canon it as something romantic until canon proved me wrong But these options are so varied - I had to choose the most Dramatic (tm) one As for my actual answer: a gentle kiss with full consent from both parties

I will bite a holder as a sign of affection. There's probably some dead skin cells in the arm I can swallow by accident. They are used to this and sometimes we switch the quirk around for funsies.

You know, I spent like 10 minutes trying to think of something original here, but knowing my shit luck some bastard would spit in my drink or something and cast upon me the Curse of Bone Breaking and/or.... y’know..... AFO...........

okay this is gonna sound weird but. consider this i marry a very lovely women. we are in much love. we get attacked by evil people because she is a good hero but plot twist. i am secretly her nemisis. the attackers are my minions. i wanted her to protect me because i am very smol but. my comrades were too mean. she is nearly dead. "take this" she says. she kisses me and i am one for all. fuck, i say internally, but i dont tell her. she dies in my arms. i run and become vigilante and take down my once comrades. all is not well. i die unsatisfied. i eventually pass it onto a cat in an alleyway because they are the only one who is with me when i get hit with a back alley sniper

Blood or just like. skin. You could use nail clippers to take a bit off from a really fleshy area, like just under the nail. It's that easy

Spit in my food like an underpaid fast food worker.

i have long hair so that would not be ideal, but blood seems kinda...unsanitary, but i guess it would be better if i was 100% positive i wouldn't pass on some sort of disease. so if that could be ascertained then like a few drops of blood in a glass of water or something and then down the hatch, bam ofa passed on. i know other folks are probably typing some nsfw stuff but just. no. keep it in your pants y'all.

Blood transfusion First, pick a hospital Second, steal all their blood Third, have the previous user donate their blood to that hospital Fourth, get into a major accident and need a blood transfusion near the hospital you robbed Fifth, hope either OfA will only pass onto you bc your the intended recipient, or that no one else needs a blood transfusion Sixth, get the transfusion Seventh, steal all of the previous users blood back Eigth, return all the other stolen blood Ninth, get new identities, this crime leaves DNA everywhere Tenth, die of a blood clot due to incompatible blood types (optional)

okay realistically bleeding into a cut or a drop of blood into water and drinking it would be easiest but like... what if somehow dna could be baked into like a muffin or cookie or something... like i know when cooking with wines and stuff the alcohol cooks away and evaporates out but is that process the same for like blood? like if you baked your blood into a cookie would traces of your dna still be there? basically i want an ofa cookie (snickerdoodle preferably)

no i like my bones

drink a drop of blood. it'd go down easier than hair

no

Something dramatic and desperate in the heat of battle like blood or something

First of all, I think First passed OfA as he was dying entirely on accident, because Second was badly (though not critically) injured and they'd been sort of dancing around each other's feelings and doubting their own worth, so First, knowing he was dying and that his brother was a petty bitch who would probably kill Second anyway because he knows that First cared about him, kisses Second with blood on his lips and his last thoughts before dying are about how he wants Second to have the strength to survive if his brother comes after him.

If I was given the option of getting OfA, I wouldn't take it. I'm a coward and being given something like that is a death sentence.

If it was forced, probably ingesting the previous users blood, because blood is a lot easier to choke down than hair.

If I already had it and had to pass it on, I would want it to be something suitably dramatic like collapsing on the doorstep of a trusted loved one and explaining with my dying breath who killed me and why and then raising my blood covered hand to their face like I was going to caress their cheek only for them to taste blood. They cry and try to get me take it back and when I finally die they swear vengeance over my slowly cooling corpse.

Pass it on in a non-life threatening scenario where I decide I actually don’t like the weird bone breaking power a random person gave me as they were dying and wish I could pass it to someone else and through a weird set of circumstances end up accidentally cooking some of my own hair into brownies I was making because I shed like a dog and passing it to my new neighbor I came to welcome to the neighborhood.

Either drinking a glass of milk with their saliva (no icky hair taste), or an epic sharing of blood while clasping hands like knights in a noble brotherhood!

not by eating all mights long ass hair thats for sure, why did he give midoriya one of the longest ones he had, he has shorter hair right there on the back of his head. not to mention the fact of like how i would prefer to recieve it or give it away which would be just, fucking sharing a pop or something and swaping it through the backwash??? less nasty than hair and not as weird as the other options for spit which is like straight up spitting in a drink or the other persons mouth outside of kissing. if someone told me i had to eat their hair i would straight up say no thanks, cheers for the fitness glow up tho homie

I want nana 2 kiss me, on.,, the m,,,.."#*(@÷out.h pretty lady.,

Q-tip to the inside of the cheek

Those blood pacts where you slice your hands open and do a little handshake thing. Not very creative, but idk it just appeals to me

Via consumption of blood, babey

I would want it to be with a maybe maybe not homoerotic sword fight in a Wendy's parking lot, preferably while we are both being impaled on each other's swords. The sweet pain of almost dying is a very intense moment to share isn't it?

Sweet love

Hair

If it's someone cute, a kiss. Otherwise I'd probably just swallow a hair with some water.

i'd just like. spit in their water bottle. if thats not enough dna i guess licking a paper cut it is. hair is bad idwa bc it doesn't digest and can get wrapped up in things. and like. im too aroace for kissing and such

Last option, cause first is sexy as hell

okay you know what vore is, right. and you know how blood and organ transfusions work? well...

Not at all, like?? I enjoy being alive and not having my body destroyed thank you. Literally everyone with OfA died young-ish or has suffered debilitating injuries bc of it. Like Midoriya's bones are powder, and we don't even need to go into All Might's medical history. Like thanks but no thanks no freaky dna ingestion 4 me

Had a open cut from a can lid and ofa holder had an open cut. While lamenting about fins a successor.

Blood

Assuming we can bypass the rules of canon, it would be funny as fuck is OFA was passed on by intentional physical contact. So yes, a smooch for First and Second (and Second and Third) but also. Bitchslap of destiny. Nana giving her protege one last hug. All Might ruffles Mido’s hair like a dad to pass it on. I’m sure you get it

Bleeding over an open wound

lil bit of spit in a milkshake.

I hold their hand Platonically but it's summer and we're both sweaty and they're a little loopy and having weird thoughts due to dehydration and heat lmao, literally hanging around anyone for any extended period of time guarantees you accidentally ingest SOME of their dna. Dead skin cells are floating through the air ~constantly~ and if you have a friend I promise you've inhaled their dead skin cells before. Have fun with that knowledge!!

ok so like deffo a kiss, but in canon people get weird biological urges for using their quirks, like bby Toga drinking bird blood. First has had a LOT of "spit in their drink" intrusive thoughts over the years. immediately post first-kiss he is mystified that his intrusive thoughts have disappeared entirely, but then BAM it seems that second has the stockpile now, and with it, a preoccupation with vampire lore

drink from the same water bottle?

“EAT THIS!”

Pass it on by making them lick my arm because that would make them rly uncomfortable, passed to me by spiting in my 20oz Red Bull and then chugging it

[watchathon]

Halloween Special: Coraline

In case you’re finding this post just by browsing the tags I’ve used for this post, this is the Watchathon, a blog where I watch something and make a blog post where I write down my thoughts as I watch. Each new thought starts with a hyphen and a bolded first word.

- Like so.

Today, I’m celebrating Halloween with my favorite spooky movie: Coraline! 

I realize that it’s not actually a Halloween movie, and I’m hoping to do actually Halloween-themed movies in the future, but when I had the idea to do a Halloween special post, this was the movie that first came to mind.

It’s scary, funny, gorgeously animated, but I’m sure I’ll be getting more into that during the post proper. With that said, here are my thoughts on Coraline:

- Even the studio logos and opening credits for this movie have an unsettling vibe, with both the visuals and the background music.

- And that’s before we’ve even gotten into the scene of the doll being transformed slowly into a doll of Coraline by mysterious stick limbs.

- I know that when I move, I’d love to be greeted by the sight of a man doing yoga on the rooftop.

- Nice introduction to Coraline when we see her pull a stick off of a bush and use it like a dowsing rod. Really sets up her character as a kid who’s not averse to the weird. The kind of kid who might, say, make several trips through a mystical hole in her room that brings her to button-eyed “better” versions of her parents and neighbors.

- And here we see Wyborne “Wybie” Lovat, Coraline’s closest-thing-to-a-friend in her new town. He’s more logically-minded, able to tell that Coraline’s dowsing rod is poison oak, and even analyzing Coraline’s name (after he’s corrected that it’s not Caroline.)

- I like the transition from Coraline holding her ear to the well, to her washing her hands in the kitchen sink.

- And here we see that the Coraline doll from the beginning of the movie made its way to the trunk of Wybie’s grandma. Which is scary, as well as bizarre from Coraline’s perspective. You move into a new house, and it turns out your landlady (who doesn’t normally allow kids) owned a doll that looks suspiciously similar to you, including your outfit.

- I like the music during this scene of Coraline exploring her new house. It’s so serene and calm.

- Coraline just killed the bugs in the shower with her bare hands... Not much I can really say about that except: “Gross...”

- I know all too well the feeling Coraline’s dad has when his writing is erased. I said this is a scary movie, here’s the scariest dang thing. *shivers*

- The entrance into the Other World is the perfect blend of creepy, and beckoning, with the music and cool colors.

- As well as the first appearance of the Other Mother. There’s the buttons for eyes, and the very fact that she’s an identical copy of Coraline’s real mom in everything but the eyes, making her scary on simply the conceptual level. 

But she’s so much nicer to Coraline than her real-world counterpart, not to mention that she cooks much nicer-looking meals than Coraline’s dad, and resides in a nicer version of Coraline’s house.

- And then there’s the Other Father, introducing himself to Coraline with a nice peppy song about her. The lyrics are filled with foreshadowing, but it’s not like Coraline was going to dig that deep into it. Why would she? The Other World is giving her the family life she wishes she could have in the real world.

- I’d say that Coraline shouldn’t accept food from strangers, but I mean, it’s her parents. But not really her parents, it’s her Other Parents. But they seem to know her like they are her parents. But they don’t actually know her, because they’re not her parents. But they are alternate versions of her parents. But... Oh dear, I’ve gone cross-eyed...

- And the Other World is even complete with a way for her to talk to her old friends from Michigan! Granted, they’re not actually her friends, but they are exact copies of... Nope! Not jumping down that rabbit hole again.

- Coraline gets confirmation that the Other World was real when she wakes up to find that her poison oak has completely disappeared, without a trace. I remember when I first watched this movie, I was afraid it would turn out to be all just a dream, but this confirms right off the bat that the Other World isn’t just in Coraline’s head.

- I like that we’re getting introductions to Coraline’s neighbors, starting with the Amazing Bobinsky, who’s working on a mouse circus. And also misunderstands Coraline’s name to be Caroline.

- And Coraline gets her first warning about the dark secrets of the Other World from said mouse circus. Plus, as a bonus, the mice get her name right on the first try without needing to be corrected.

- Next up is Miss Spink and Miss Forcible, the former also getting Coraline’s name wrong.

- You’ve heard of crazy cat ladies, now get ready for crazy dog ladies who stuff all their dogs when they die!

- Second warning about the danger of the Other World, from Miss Spink reading Coraline’s tea leaves.

- One thing I never really noticed before: The cat’s already showing a personality of his own right now, even when he’s just Wybie’s cat friend who’s not technically owned by Wybie.

- Seems Coraline’s starting to grow fond of Wybie, thinking of him as a friend instead of the annoying kid who lives somewhere near her house.

- Looks like Other Mother is really trying to push the idea that the Other World is better than the real world, what with how she insists that the Other Father is the Better Father.

- The garden arranged into a picture of Coraline is so beautiful. And so impressive when you remember that this is a stop-motion movie, and that portrait had to be actually built for its few seconds of screen time.

- Another thing that the Other Mother offers to Coraline as a benefit of the Other World: A version of Wybie that’ll listen to her, that won’t change the subject to slugs or whatever.

- Plus a version of Bobinsky that not only gets Coraline’s name right, but trains his mouse circus to spell it out. It’s like the Other World is “fixing” all the things that bugged Coraline about her life in the real world.

- And all that temptation looks like it’s working. When Coraline’s mom buys her the same grey uniforms the rest of her school will be wearing, Coraline only responds that the other mother would buy her a better uniform.

- Looks like the cat’s kind of suspicious of the Other World when he sees Coraline crawling inside.

- And the cat’s the only living thing from the real world other than Coraline to come into the Other World. Or, well, the only still-living thing...

- The third warning about the dangers of the Other World comes from the cat, also the first warning given directly to her instead of secondhand or via tea leaves.

- This movie can be creepy in a lot of ways even before Coraline’s life is in danger. For example, one of tne of the “good” things in the Other World is Other Miss Spink and Other Miss Forcible’s skin peeling away to reveal that underneath they’re actually young beautiful women.

- Not everything in the Other World is just the Other Mother’s puppet. She created Other Wybie, but he’s still clearly concerned for Coraline, and needs to be implicitly ordered to keep up the cheery facade.

- And here’s the big wham scene where it starts to get real spooky: The Other Parents saying that they’ll need to sew buttons into Coraline’s eyes if Coraline wants to stay in their world and keep all the things she likes better about it. Luckily, Coraline’s smart enough to refuse and immediately decide she never wants to return.

- The Other Mother might not have total control over everything in the Other World, but she clearly wants to make it so she does. Denying Other Father the ability to speak, and as we’ll see later she’s sewn Other Wybie’s face into a permanent smile that he can’t ever move.

- “Mothers don’t eat... daughters.” “I don’t know. How do you taste?” The cat might not be on the Other Mother’s side, but he can be creepy, even if it seems like he’s just messing with Coraline.

-  - I like that the cat’s here to serve as a companion from the real world to Coraline, consistently on her side even after the Other World shows its true colors. In this case, he kills a circus mouse that was sounding an alarm. Meanwhile that idea didn’t even occur to Coraline, who probably figured it was just circus practice.

- “Good kitty.” You’re darn right!

- Oh, dang, I thought that the Other Mother’s monster transformation came later than this.

- I heard somewhere that in the book, the Other Mother just looks like this monstrous form off the bat. I have to wonder, then, why Coraline was so trusting of her. Maybe it was just a really good dinner she cooked?

- Here we see that Coraline isn’t the first little kid that the Other Mother lured to her world so she could take their eyes and keep there forever. Their ghosts still reside in the Other World, unable to rest in peace or even remember their own names, but able to give Coraline her final warning so she doesn’t share their fates.

- It’s so creepy to see Other Wybie’s face with his mouth sewn into a permanent smile. But even with that, and with his eyes being only buttons, it’s easy to see that he’s desperate to save Coraline from this world.

- Other Wybie even sacrifices his life for Coraline.

- As I said before, Wybie is more logically minded than Coraline. So, really, it only makes sense that he’d hear Coraline talk about the Other World and arrive to the conclusion that she’s crazy.

- It always brings tears to my eyes, seeing Coraline sleeping in bed with pretend versions of her parents made from the pillows and sheets.

- At least the cat’s still there for Coraline.

- The charming colors of the tunnel to the Other World have even turned to a dull grey. It’s like a visual representation of how the Other Mother has given up on luring Coraline into staying, and has moved onto the idea of forcing her to stay, even eating the only key that allows travel between worlds.

- You can tell how much Coraline doesn’t want to say that she’ll let the Other Mother sew buttons in her eyes if she loses. But she has no choice; the Other Mother wouldn’t agree to the game unless there was something she could win.

- It’s both creepy and sad to see the Other Father, forced into attacking Coraline and keeping the eye from her.

- It’s cool how Coraline used Other Spink and Forcible’s bat-dogs against them. Also unsettling like everything in this part of the movie, but really cool and clever.

- Other Father and Other Spink/Forcible were transformed into corrupted versions of themselves. Other Bobinsky? Erased and replaced with a horde of rats that had his voice come out of them.

- Again, good kitty. Even when Coraline thinks she’s lost the game, the cat’s there to lend a hand.

- Coraline even thinks of the cat as a friend!

- But the cat’s not Coraline’s only ally. The ghost of one of the other children advises Coraline to be clever, all too aware that the Other Mother wouldn’t keep her word.

- You’ve heard of throwing your SO, now get ready for throwing your stray cat friend who became one of your only allies in the Other World where your parents are trapped as well as the ghosts of children who came before you! *gasps for breath*

- The Other Mother’s now given up on any pretense of being Coraline’s mother, having gone full monster. But given how she still has that hairdo? I’ve got to imagine that she’s still not quite displaying her true form.

- It’s so sweet to see Coraline interacting with the cat. Even outside of the Other World they’re still friends.

- I understand why people are upset why they changed the climax from Coraline’s clever gambit to a battle with the Other Mother’s hand (and Wybie helping), but I think this works well for a movie adaptation. I haven’t read the book, so I could be wrong, but just from seeing the movie, I think this climax is good.

- I love this ending with Coraline and her neighbors having a garden party, Bobinsky even helping plant some berries. It’s so cathartic after all the trouble Coraline’s been through.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

To reiterate: This is my absolute favorite spooky movie! And my first pick when it comes to movies fit for the season.

The first Laika movie I watched was Kubo and The Two Strings, in theaters. Then I went back and watched Paranorman to celebrate Halloween. Then I watched Missing Link when that came out in theaters.

Coraline came last out of all the Laika movies I’ve seen, but it may well be my favorite, with its lovable characters, amazing music, and gorgeous animation.

It has just the right amount of scare for me, as someone who’s not generally fond of horror. And as a PG movie, it leans more towards scary and unsettling aesthetic than jumpscares or blood/gore, another thing that makes this just right for me.

This is the perfect kinda movie for the season, and I highly recommend it for anyone who wants a spooky movie to watch tonight, on future Halloweens, or just whenever you’re in the mood for something creepy.

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 17: 2x26 Assignment: Earth

Finally finished up S2 of TOS yesterday. That was... a rough episode tbh. I’m just gonna say it: back door pilots are bad! They’re bad. If I wanted to watch that other show, I’d watch it.

Wow, they’re just really jumping right in, huh? “Here we are, on a routine mission into the past, using a time travel method that we invented nbd.”

Investigating desperate problems in the year 2020...2016.... no wait 1968.

Ooh, Spock in the transport room today. Does he have a whole extra random station there? That’s so weird; I’ve never seen that before. It’s like hidden in the corner.

Cat!! Cat!!

What a good actor. I’m still bitter that wikipedia has a whole section about the casting for “Isis the cat” that talks entirely about the human who played Isis for 2 minutes and nothing about the talented feline actor. Where did they find her? How did they teach her to act?

She has a lot of thoughts about Kirk.

I wrote down “Scully, you’ve got to see this” in my notes and I’ve already forgotten what it refers to lol. Some moment that I thought would fit well with my favorite x-files meme.

Change history, you say? Spock is intrigued. ...Admittedly, Spock is often intrigued.

“What if it turns out you’re an invading alien from the future?” Honestly...let him invade. You’re not supposed to be here anyway.

I’m pretty insulted by this. The aliens went through all this trouble to help in 1968...where are our alien helpers NOW?

The cat straight up attacked his face.

Kirk is so fond of Spock being fond of the cat.

“It’s a lovely animal. I feel myself strangely drawn to it.”

Kirk is way too confused by Seven--an allegedly human person with super-human abilities that he says come from aliens--and yet, he’s met Charlie X so??? Is this not the same?

Kirk’s got the whole crew checking in on zoom.

(I actually do like this sequence of him getting video calls from different parts of the ship.)

“Weren’t orbiting H-bombs a huge problem in 1968?” Looks at the camera like he’s on The Office. Not the subtlest bit of writing in the “social commentary” genre. I do say this with love, though. I always enjoy when they comment on contemporary problems.

“He has a totally perfect body.” Lol don’t distract these two bisexuals.

[soft meowing]

“The prisoner has escaped.” The way this is shot, it looks like he’s talking about the cat.

Hmm, I do love the decor. Very 60s. This honestly immediately feels like a different show, and a much more dated show; even when the Enterprise time travels, it tends not to time travel to... office space.

Love the little sounds the computer makes.

So is Isis supposed to be one of the fancy aliens? It’s never explained but one must assume she is.

Aw, he’s petting her paw.

So I assumed the cats sounds are real, but just dubbed. They’re not lol. Which I guess isn’t surprising: this cat makes a lot of noises! They were provided by a human voice actress.

Damn.... I want a secret bookshelf that turns around to reveal a super computer with a big screen. “Computer... play Netflix.”

That’s what Seven does in his spare time.

The computer is an AI. “Beta 5 snobbery” lol.

Where are OUR alien overlords to stop US from destroying ourselves before WE can mature into a peaceful society?

This is really masterful exposition lol. Not forced or awkward at all.

ST sure does love the snooty female computer trope.

“Get us the proper costumes.” Yes, get Spock his Requisite Hat.

Omicron IV....that’s one of the names they use in Futurama lol. Such nerds.

Another excellent Spock Hat.

I love Seven’s various IDs. Great style. I wish my driver’s license looked like those.

“Who do you think you are?” He hasn’t decided yet. That’s why he was shifting through his IDs.

Seven is not smart lol. Like, he should have figured out way faster that this lady isn’t one of the Alien Overlords. He asks her the code question, she doesn’t understand it, and he... assumes she’s just really in character? Dude, that’s what the code questions are for!!! To help you identify people! Otherwise you could just straight up ask: are you an alien?

Instead he’s like “oh, you silly alien, you’re playing with me,” and then is forced to trap her, reveal his whole mission, and ultimately ensnare her in his plan.

I want that typewriter. Voice recognition typewriter.

"My incompetence has made you aware of very secret devices." Well at least he knows.

Trained cat!

The alien overlords were killed in a random car accident. That’s ironic.

Oh look, a real rocket!

Brown pants + short sleeved shirt + tie is such a Classic 60s look.

This security guard doesn’t think it’s weird that this random dude has a cat with him? Is this part of Isis’s alien power?

Except for the part where it’s a weapon, it’s pretty cool to see all this build up to, like... launching stuff into space. Exciting.

Isis likes to be on shoulders. Just like Little Guy.

New hat for Spock. His outer wear hat, and now his fancy hat. There is something to be said for this ep, and that is Kirk and Spock in suits.

Amazing how they literally launched rockets with computers that old. Like seeing the big bank of primitive computers is totally wild. We put people on the moon that way! Amazing.

“Meow.” Lol, Isis is stressed so she’s speaking like a cat. That’s a pretty funny joke actually.

Seven is so incompetent. If he’d just let the Enterprise help, Scotty could have fixed that rocket issue in like 3 seconds.

Lol everyone’s just pulling Gary through space. Now on the Enterprise. Now in the office.

Why does this computer have a hug black screen if it only displays images on the small white circle?

"Spock and  I in custody. Main characters, doing nothing, knowing nothing, totally useless and irrelevant. I have never felt more helpless." Literally what is even the point of them today? Does Spock even have lines outside of “I like the cat”?

Isis is jealous of Roberta. Is she.. in a relationship with Seven lol?

Uhura is listening to everyone in the world. She probably has a universal translator on, but I do feel like this scene implies she just...understands all the languages.

So now the warhead is armed and heading to somewhere vague... in other words, everyone has collectively made the situation worse.

....Or this was Seven’s plan all along? To scare people into ceasing to be so careful with nuclear weaponry? As someone who knows humans better than this guy, I think this is a dumbass plan.

“That’s why so many people in my generation are kind of crazy and rebels.” Same, sweetheart.

Really this is just a story about bad communication. If Seven had told Kirk his plan upfront, Kirk would have helped him. And if Kirk weren’t so insistent on involving himself in something just because he happens to be somewhere he probably shouldn’t be, we wouldn’t have this issue either. The hubris of everyone.

Overall, just a really forced narrative imo.

Or that’s how it was supposed to be lol. The Irony of time travel. By it’s nature, everything has already worked out.

Kirk and Spock are like “You’re welcome. Peace out.”

Honestly... Isis was the only good part. Such a talented cat actor!! Or trio of cat actors, I guess. Had to do all those stunts and stuff.. .amazing. I also liked the concept of Isis. How she turned into a human later just to troll Roberta. How she’s never really explained--one must assume, an alien? Plus I pretty much never get tired of human + animal teams where the animal makes animal noises and the human just understands and answers in English.

As a stand alone sci fi concept...it was okay. Kinda dated by now. The alien tech was nifty and Roberta could have grown on me. Maybe even Seven, though he left a lot to be desire. That said, the narrative relied a lot on people getting in each other’s way for no reason, which I find very frustrating.

But as a Star Trek episode....no. The main characters were just nuisances on the side lines!! I’m not even sure what Kirk’s mission here was--to try to figure out what Seven was doing? And stop him if necessary? But he never really decided if it was or not, until the point where not trusting him would basically cause a nuclear war? I don’t know, I found it all very frustrating. The melding of the original show and the spinoff was not smooth.

If I were watching this in 1968, I’d feel very cheated. THIS was the season finale? That’s it? I don’t even get a real Star Trek episode and now I have to wait months for anything new?

And what I get after all that waiting is Spock’s Brain?? I’d be tempted to quit. If I had a tumblr in 1969 I’d be writing multi-paragraph rants about how the best show on television has completely nose-dived lol.

But then there’s The Enterprise Incident, which is one of the best episodes... I don’t know, man. It’s a conundrum. I’ve only seen maybe half of season 3 but from what I remember it’s very uneven: some of the best eps (The Enterprise Incident, For the World Is Hollow, Day of the Dove) mixed in with some of the worst (Spock’s Brain, The Paradise Syndrome), plus some that are good concepts but shoddily executed (The Way to Eden). So we’ll see what I think about it when I see it all in one piece, in air date order.

[casper-writes-stuff]

The Black Cat Part Three

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247103/chapters/55664587

I’m so sorry this took so long to post! And work on honestly. But here it is!!! Part three of my fic trade with @rose-gold-roman !!

And because this part feels barren, I’m gonna do something I don’t usually do on this blog because I don’t like clogging these posts up with it.

The taglist!

General Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @emo-disaster, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @sleepy-sides, @gattonero17, @izzynuggets, @another-sandersidesblog, @nonbinary-royaltea, @strawberryjellystuff, @hickory-dickory-doc-k, @remusownsmyuwus, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit, @demidork84, @gr3ml1n-loser, @main-chive, @kiribakuandcats, 

TBC Taglist: @daring-elm

The cat was outside his window when Patton got to his room, letting out a loud mew to be let inside as soon as it spotted him.

“Oh! Well there you are little kitty! I was missing you,” he said softly, opening his window despite his better judgement.

Being allergic to cats was never fun as an animal lover, but it looked like it was going to rain and Patton didn’t wanna let the cat get wet.

It hopped onto his desk, and then over to his bed settled nearby. Patton smiled softly as he closed the window, then took off his backpack and set it on his desk chair, pushing it just enough for the chair to spin slowly.

“I met the strangest person today, kitty. He seemed quiet, but he was nice enough to walk me home,” he started talking, moving towards his dresser so he could pull out a sports bra.

The cat meowed, and Patton looked over his shoulder to give it a small smile.

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t trust strangers. Especially in a town like Salida, but he didn’t seem bad, ya know? Just… troubled.”

As he spoke, Patton pulled off his shirt and looked at his worn, skin-toned binder with a small sigh.

“I’ve worn this too long again today, kitty. I was having so much fun with Roman and Logan at the library I totally forgot I was wearing it.”

Patton huffed a small laugh when the cat meowed in response, then started pulling off his binder. With the tight fabric off, Patton took a deep breath and winced at the way it felt like his ribs were stretching.

He carefully buried his binder under his bras, and then pulled on the sports bra followed by the shirt he’d been wearing all day (not quite ready to put on his pajamas) and sighed a breath of relief.

Turning back to his bed, Patton giggled at seeing the cat facing the wall, like it hadn’t wanted to see him undress.

“You’re so respectful, kitty. I should name you something so I’m not calling you kitty all the time,” he commented, walking towards his bed and sitting nearby the animal, crossing his legs and leaning back against the wall.

There was a weight on his lap, and though Patton knew he should push the kitty off and go take his allergy medicine, he couldn’t bring himself to.

So instead he started stroking his hand over the soft fur, smiling when a gentle purr kicked up.

“Okay, kitty names. What about… Fuzzykins?”

The purring stopped, and Patton looked down at the cat to see it giving him what could only be classified as a glare.

Laughing, Patton kept petting the cat.

“Okay, Fuzzykins is out. I’ll pick something more name like then. Let’s see. Black kitty, different colored eyes, incredibly intelligent… What about Salem? Like the talking cat on Sabrina the Teenage Witch?”

The purring got louder, and Patton grinned, lightly scratching Salem under his chin.

“Salem it is then. Did you know Roman came into school this morning talking silly about Salida being a Young Adult novel plot town?” he asked, sighing softly as Salem made a ‘mrrp’ sound at him.

Gosh he loved cats, he just hoped his allergies didn’t kick him too hard in the butt when they did kick in.

“Yeah. He insists that if anything weird happens it’s gonna kickstart life endangering romance and paranormal happenings. I didn’t tell him about you, I kinda figured he’d tell me to try and get you to stop following me, and I don’t really wanna do that. I like having the company when I walk.”

At this point, Patton had shifted until he was laying on his side. Salem was curled up against his chest, purring because he had yet to stop petting him.

“You’re a really sweet kitty, Salem. I wish my sister would let me actually get a pet. But she insists I wouldn’t be able to take care of one. Which is ridiculous! I was the only one who managed to keep the goldfish we got at the fair when we were little alive for two years! I’d be great at taking care of a pet.”

Patton sighed, feeling his face tingle now that he’d finally dropped the smile he’d been wearing most of the day. Tears pricked his eyes, and he buried his face into Salem’s fur.

He was definitely going to regret that later, but the comfort of having Salem cuddling into him was nice and he couldn’t help but relish in it.

“I know I have my friends, but sometimes I still feel really lonely. That’s… that’s pretty dumb isn’t it?” he asked softly, giggling when Salem bumped his head into Patton’s chin.

“Okay, Okay I’ll stop moping. I should get some homework done though-”

Before Patton could get up, Salem bapped his cheek with his paw, meowing at him in protest and he let out a flurry of uncontrollable giggles.

“Alright, five more minutes of cuddling, but I’ve got history and math homework to work on, okay?”

Salem increased his purring and rubbed his cheek against Patton’s face.

Patton sighed softly, resuming his petting and letting Salem nap against him as he stared at the wall opposite of his bed.

Sometimes Patton felt like something was missing. He’d grown up here, and sure he didn’t have his parents anymore but he barely remembered them anyway, it’s been so long since they passed.

And he had Roman and Logan, and they had plans of exploring the world as soon as they could. Patton was happy for them, though sometimes he wondered if leaving was something he wanted to do. Would they even want Patton to tag along if that were the case? Sure, they’ve been friends for years, but what if that was just because of school?

Salem shifted under his hand, and he lifted it until the cat had settled before resuming his petting, not looking at him the whole time as he got lost in his thoughts.

He probably shouldn’t worry about it as much as he did, but when Patton was home it was… difficult for him to ignore the uncertainty of the future and who he might still have when all was said and done.

His heart grew heavy in his chest, and Patton frowned, wiping at his eyes with the hand that hadn’t been petting Salem.

Maybe his allergies were kicking in?

...No, he usually broke out into a rash. He was just sad right now.

The thought made his brows furrow in confusion, and he looked down at Salem after he lifted himself onto his elbow.

“You’re a cat.”

Salem looked at him, and if Patton had to guess he’d be saying you just noticed? If he could talk.

“No, Salem, you’re a cat. And I’m not itchy yet even though we’ve been cuddling for fifteen minutes. I’m allergic to cats, why aren’t I breaking out into a rash?”

Salem seemed to freeze at that, eyes staring at him wide. Patton stared back, then broke out into a grin.

“Are you hypoallergenic? Oh my gosh, that would be so cool? Pretty eyes, sweet personality, and you’re hypoallergenic? You’re like the most perfect kitty ever.”

Salem relaxed back against him, and Patton leaned down to place a little kiss against the kitty’s forehead.

“I hope you continue being my friend, Salem. I’d be sad if I couldn’t talk to you anymore,” he said softly, feeling his eyes get heavy.

He always got so tired when he got sad. Maybe an hour long nap wouldn’t hurt before he got started on his homework?

[mobius-prime]

228. Sonic the Hedgehog #160

Birthday Bash! (Part One): Giving and Receiving

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley! Colors: Jason Jensen

Welcome to the beginning of Ian Flynn's reign, everyone! As many of you will know, Ian is a fan favorite amongst readers of the comics, and for good reason. Objectively, I'd say he has a much better sense than any previous writer of how to construct dynamic and interesting stories, as well as a great head for writing dialogue. Every character has their own unique voice when speaking, and as someone who takes a particular interest in dialogue in her own writing, it's something I admire a lot, especially given how stilted and unnaturally formal a lot of dialogue by Karl and especially Kenders often sounded, regardless of who was speaking. That said, I think that it took a good year or so for him to fully come into his own as head writer for the series, so some earlier issues are a bit strange and not up to par with a lot of his later work. Some of this, to be fair, is due to him essentially playing clean-up for this first year, untangling a lot of the bizarre leftover plot threads that Karl and Kenders left behind, and generally trying to make the world of the comics conform a little better to that of the games. All that aside, anyone reading the comics will likely notice an immediate and apparent improvement in the overall quality of the work starting with this issue. This is helped along, in addition, by none other than the very talented artist Tracy Yardley! who always (well, almost always) introduces himself in the story credits with an exclamation mark. It's kind of his calling card. Tracy took a while to really improve his art as well, so while his earliest issues sometimes have some strange proportions and poses, later on his style became easily one of the most visually attractive and recognizable ones in the series, simplifying a lot of the inconsistencies that many character designs had as well as doing away with the strange pseudo-human proportions that some artists tended to favor, particularly with the female characters. All this said, I will say that Ian isn't going to be immune to my criticism, as while I do recognize his skill as a writer and the good things he brought to the table, there are definitely some problems I have with the way he handled certain things. We'll cross those bridges when we come to them, however, so for now, let's dive into the new world he's creating and see how he does!

Elias and Sonic are walking on the outskirts of Knothole as Elias explains why his father approved the Metal Sonic troopers from last issue. We don't even really get to hear the explanation, but to be fair, we hardly need one, as the idea was so insane to begin with that the only true explanation is that Kenders needed a plot device. Sonic tries to make Elias promise that "you royals" won't hit him with any more weird surprises, and Elias says they only have one more, leading him to a building next to where the Great Oak Slide into the village ends.

I mean, canonically he's supposed to be turning seventeen here, even though realistically he should be turning eighteen, because remember, for him to have turned sixteen in StH#68, had the Robians be deroboticized in early June in StH#123, and still have managed to spend close to a year in space before turning seventeen, literally everything in between the two aforementioned issues would have had to take place in the span of a few weeks - yes, that's counting the month-and-a-half time span that Sonic was confined to Knothole, as well as major events like Eggman's return and the entire Green Knuckles saga. You can see why this huge discrepancy still bothers me, right? Hmph. Anyway, no sooner has the party begun than an explosion destroys the door, and two new players enter the scene - Bean the Dynamite and Bark the Polar Bear from Sonic the Fighters! Nack's been part of the comic for long enough now, so it's cool to see these two make their first appearance. Bark is totally silent - as far as I remember, he never says a single word during the entirety of the comic - but Bean, in the absence of an obvious personality to draw from in the game, has subsequently been given the personality trait of "criminally insane" in the comics.. He's erratic, he talks to himself, he cracks jokes where jokes really shouldn't be cracked, and most importantly of all, he loves his goddamn bombs. Bean starts chucking said bombs left and right at the various Freedom Fighters in the base, while Sonic tangles with Bark. He seems to think these guys are only after him due to something Evil Sonic did in his place, something which he has by now apparently finally explained to all the women of Knothole, and manages to break away from Bark to stop Bean's bombing spree by pinning him to a wall and asking about Evil Sonic. However, Bean happily insists there's been no mistake and he wasn't even aware of Sonic having an evil twin, nor does he particularly care. Oh, speaking of Evil Sonic…

Huh, it seems that Evil Sonic has actually explained his true identity to Rouge in between their previous failed attempt and now. I'm surprised she hasn't outright abandoned him by now due to Rouge not exactly being evil-aligned to begin with, but I guess the pull of the shiny is just too strong for her to resist. And as it turns out, Bean suffers from a similar insatiable need! Fiona pulls out a ring of keys and shakes them around, completely distracting Bean from his current activity of bashing Sonic's head in, and throws them out the hole he made in the wall, prompting him to immediately abandon everything to chase after them. Fiona then advances on Bark, who by now has gotten himself cornered by every Freedom Fighter in the room, and convinces him to stand down as he's outnumbered. Outside, Bean plays with the keys and talks to them, seemingly convinced that they're a beautiful woman with an "adorable accent" who wants his number, when a suspiciously-Shadow-shaped shadow converges on him, prompting him to try to invite him into smashing Sonic as well. Good luck there, buddy, I don't think Shadow usually runs with crazy…

Geez, Sally, cut Fiona some slack. Not everyone had a squeaky-clean record - hell, just look at Shadow! Back in the Chaos Chamber, Rouge and Evil Sonic begin to battle Locke, who tosses Evil Sonic to the side as he perceives Rouge to be the bigger threat. However, that turns out to be a bit of a bad idea, as with Rouge tied up in the fight, Evil Sonic takes his chance to go after the Master Emerald without her, obviously recognizing it as more than just a shiny trinket.

Back in Knothole, Shadow explains that he's only here to thank Sonic for saving Hope, as he knows he wouldn't have been able to do it on his own, and reminds him that as soon as he leaves this building they're back to being enemies, as Shadow's still aligned with Eggman for now. Sonic, to his credit, seems to recognize that Shadow is only allied with Eggman because he doesn't yet know better, and cheerfully invites him to come back here whenever he cuts out on that deal in the future. It's at this point that everyone realizes Bean has quietly snuck into the brain trust's comms room to casually let Eggman know that he and Bark failed to take Sonic down, and when Fiona ushers him back out of the room, Eggman is only too happy to let Sonic know personally that he wishes him a happy birthday and he's sending him a new, more metallic present. Within seconds a thud outside alerts them to the arrival of this present, and everyone rushes out to see a strange figure emerging from an egg pod - a figure which resolves itself into the combined forms of Crocbot and Octobot, now merged into the singular entity of… Croctobot! (Don't worry, Ian knows just how silly this is and even acknowledges it next issue.) But what of Evil Sonic and Rouge? How is their fight faring against Locke after the former got knocked aside? Well, Evil Sonic takes his chance to dramatically emerge from behind the emerald as the other two get ready to continue their fight…

Plot twist! How many people actually didn't know by now that Evil Sonic and Scourge were the same person? I'm guessing there had to be at least a few of you. You can actually already see Ian's new plans being put into action - it's very telling of his intentions when the very first issue he ever pens immediately makes a point of distinguishing a rather tired and boring character into a new and improved version of himself, with a unique name and new, visually distinct look. Apparently Kenders, who if you recall is the original creator of Evil Sonic, never liked this and continued to insist on referring to him as Evil Sonic, but screw that, Scourge is a much more interesting character and this was a change that sorely needed to be made.

Sonic Rush (Part One of Two)

Writer/Pencils: Tania Del Rio Colors: Ben Hunzeker

So unfortunately, Sonic Adventure 2 isn't the only case in the preboot of a partial adaption of a game being included without any actual ending. Sonic Rush, the game, introduces Blaze, a cat from an alternate dimension that is controlled by the Sol Emeralds rather than the Chaos Emeralds, and most of the plot revolves around the Sol Emeralds ending up in Sonic's dimension and her trying to recollect them to bring back to her own world. However, things are a bit different in the comics universe. In this story, Blaze comes to Sonic's dimension because, apparently, she's been having nonstop dreams about him, dreams which show her visions of Eggman threatening the Sol Emeralds and Sonic helping her protect them. She's frustrated that she would have to rely on anyone else to help her protect the emeralds at all, believing them to be her sole responsibility, but nonetheless she's tracked Sonic to Knothole. However, while deliberating her next move, a squad of swatbots - yes, ordinary ones, it's been a while since we've seen them rather than shadow-bots - happen upon her and decide that they should take her in for interrogation.

Yeah, I guess Blaze doesn't understand the dangers present in this universe yet, does she? An hour or so later, Rotor sends for Sonic, informing him that they caught the aftermath of Blaze's capture on their video surveillance. Neither of them know who she is, but they decide she can't be from their village, since she left several disabled swatbots behind, while most people in Knothole are noncombatants and those that aren't are accounted for elsewhere. Sonic rushes out to find their trail and tracks them to a nearby facility set up amidst the trees, and while he begins fighting his way in, the scientific robots in the building go about studying their new specimen.

Sorry, but why the hell would Eggman be looking to add some random Mobian to his team? He only likes robots anyway, and tends to either betray or enslave every living being that comes to him. Blaze suddenly awakens and becomes furious - not that she's been captured, mind you, but that they took off her coat while studying her. She must be really goddamn attached to her coat, because she starts absolutely trashing the place, exploding into flames and screaming so loudly that Sonic becomes genuinely worried about her wellbeing, rushing to where he last heard her. The door of the lab she's in is completely blasted off its hinges by the force of Blaze's explosions, but thankfully after this she seems to have found her coat, because the blasts subside and she appears in the doorway wearing it once again, staring down at an utterly shocked Sonic with a look of fiery fury (the literal flames coating her entire body probably help with the "fiery" bit). Uh… good luck dealing with that, buddy boy!

[gumceline]

another massive bubbline shipper here too say i got mad respect for this blog. as much as i stand by my ship 1000%, i also stand by the fact its totally okay too ship them with other people. i admit the bubbline fandom can be pretty toxic, but alot of us will stand by you. not only are you being super respectful even when you get hate, but you arent straight washing. also the way you looked at the negative parts of our community with understanding in last post, that was real great

oh i appreciate it! I prefer never to judge an entire fanbase by one dude because EVERY fanbase has THOSE people, no fanbase is ever perfect.

I really wished my experience with bubbline shippers had been better, it really was unfortunate to have countless hate, to have people make posts mocking me, to be put on “Lists to block”, not to mention that i legit had supportive friends who were bubbline shippers, but they pretty much turned their back on me, abandoned me, and called me a “Homophobic uncaring asshole”.

It really broke my heart dealing with the stuff i did, and i wasn’t perfect either, but i still don’t think i deserved what that was. I was a kid at the time, and was still having fun and i REALLY wanted to be a part of the fanbase because i love the series and loved the characters, but the fandom just....hated me.

Because i was a multishipper and had different opinions on the characters.

It really didn’t matter to them that i also shipped the characters with other female characters, or i said myself i don’t consider them straight. Because the fandom didn’t really care, they took one look and decided nothing i said mattered.

Being in the star fandom is widely different because the biggest ship there is Starco, a MXF (Which i personally don’t really like but that’s just me), and my favorite ship was...and still is Tom and Marco, because i love their chemistry so much and i genuinely consider them to be a much more believable relationship then the romance they wrote for star and marco.

And trust me, it’s always annoying if you don’t ship the most popular ship and like another pairing more but are succumbed to it everywhere regardless of the characters themselves.

But me not shipping star and marco didn’t make me someone who hated straight people, so i don’t think it’s collectively fair to tell anyone who may of liked marcy or bonnie with finn or maybe they ship them with a male oc of theirs....hate lesbians or were just homophobic.

it’s Like if i took finn out of his (Maybe) relationship with huntress and shipped him with....Tiffany (Who is a male character)...that wouldn’t mean i suddenly hated all straight couples and think finntress should burn.

That’s still a huge leap to jump to and extremely dangerous because you’re collectively accusing someone of something serious without really knowing much more about them then “They like this ship”.

Without any knowledge of them outside of that.

You could effectively damage their rep and make their time in the fandom a living hell out of something minor or something you just assumed, i would know.

I welcome progress, i am quite happy for the bubbline shippers who got their ship, heck...i’m STILL mad that we didn’t get poly tom x marco x star on star vs and felt VERY baited by the crew on that.

but even though i am happy for those people, i don’t think it’s validation to beat up on other shippers either, it does nothing for anyone’s case to do that. If the people are actual bigots who are actively acting terrible and throwing around nasty words and doing terrible stuff, then by all means, call them out.

But people who are just causally shipping stuff for fun? In a way it just feels like using them being a gay ship as a weapon against everyone else, because if they disagree with you and have a different opinion you can effectively boil them down to a bigot and no one might question it...especially when it’s the vast majority.

And that should not be acceptable to do, i ended up hearing from a friend of mine that this fandom actively started purging out other creators for having opinions people didn’t like, and now people are starting to regret that they shunned out so many members of the fandom based on things that were probably incredibly trivial in the long run.

And i get it, it’s an important ship, but it’s important as a rep of that ship to be respectful to others, because if not what you’ll end up doing is turn people away. I would like to be more celebratory of your success in getting the ship canon, but it makes it harder if i’m getting several messages asking when i’m deleting my “Hateful” blog because bubbline was now canon.

I’d like to get along with and support these people, but they don’t want to try and support me and have almost just decided to hate me and it sucks, and there’s not much i can do. That’s why i am thankful for those who don’t just immediately decided to judge me and want to know more about my views on the characters. 

This of course does not apply to the community as a whole, not everyone is acting like this, but it is a problem and it has consequences and i hope the fandom does work on it in the future. Please do better in the future.

Now when it comes to shipping, I have my limits personally, like if the characters have canon sexualities i tend to stick to those sexualities, i for one, have a oc that’s gay. I effectively tell others if they make fanart with him for fun that’s great and i love it, but i want his sexuality respected if ships are involved.

Since the AT ones are left in the air, it means i am left to come up with my own ideas, so that’s what i do. I think everyone should be allowed in that regard to have their own interpretations, marcy could be bi, lesbian, ace,pan, ect and all of those are perfectly acceptable headcanons.

i don’t think one should be held superior over another.

I’ve never looked at Marcy or PG and said “Oh yeah, these two are so obviously straight”, they’re about as straight as a bent nail. XD The people who say this stuff clearly don’t follow me to know that they’re not treated as straight here and i think that’s just frustrating because it’s attacking for completely incorrect information.

And the main problem i think i have, like the biggest issue, is i see the F&C characters differently.

Because i know where the fandom is getting this impression people who these other pairings are homophobic is coming from, it’s because most of the fandom doesn’t really see those characters as much more then well...GB characters.

If i saw tomco, and one was turned to a girl to avoid them both being boys, i would be annoyed, i would, i wouldn’t assume the person was homophobic without other evidence but i’d be annoyed. (I mean for all i know it could be an au and i could be mistaking the situation entirely)

What makes this different for me, is because for one, these aren’t fan-characters, the fans didn’t make a genderbent world and design these characters for fun or anything. These were show characters, that were in episodes and have their own comics and all that.

The way the show approached them for me, makes me feel like they’re kinda misjudged, and people don’t have to agree with me on that fact. But i just feel like between them being fanfiction characters ice king made up, the fact their canon is different, the fact the characters do things the F&J characters don’t do, i just can’t help but feel like treating them as if they were something fans did for fun and have no difference outside of their gender is not the right approach for them.

(I mean ice queen died in one comic and has her own unique origin story which is apparently tied to cake’s, flame prince apparently speaks cat and is the most nervous and awkward cutie I've ever seen, gumball is apparently a card wars superfan and legit takes it WAY too seriously, i just can’t really look at these characters and say “Oh, these are all just Ice King, Flame Princess, and Princess Bubblegum but the opposite gender”).

I feel like the show does enough with them,and had a unique enough approach, that i feel like they should be judged as different characters. Like the redraws of regular episodes with the F&C characters are cute but they’re for fun and probably not what ice king wrote for them in his weird stories.

Like i can’t imagine ice king knew PB so well he made sure gumball had her entire backstory and motivations.

And i feel like the people who do enjoy these ships, heck, ALL FOUR of these ships, feel the same way i do. I’m sure some could def be shipping them for the wrong reasons, but i can’t help but think it’s less about their gender and more that other people recognize they’re different and have considered the different dynamics...like they would if they were shipping any other pairing.

And people don’t have to agree with any of us on that, but i don’t think the alternative should be to accuse us of something so heavily either.

These days i have newer friends who like bubbline who are chill with me, and yeah that’s cool, and i personally don’t really draw the ship myself because i’m still not too comfortable in the AT fandom or with the community right now....the situation with it never leaves me feeling safe frankly.

But we get along, they’re lovely, and the shippers who like bubbline but support the blog are also lovely people and i adore them.

At the end of the day i just want to have fun, i’m fine being in a small subsection of the fanbase and who knows, maybe i have gotten people to think about the F&C characters in a new light, i’m not sure.

But i hope maybe at some point the fandom can chill down and we can support each other without turning it into...whatever that entire situation is. Because i don’t want to be fighting with that community and would prefer to get along with them, but only time will tell.

But thanks for the support! I wish you the best ! I sometimes still have a lot to learn but i hope throughout this whole thing I've gone about it as respectful as possible.

I love the show and all the characters and the fun ships and relationships, i hope someday in the future i can be comfortable enough to get back into the fandom as much as i used to be! ^-^

[drewwwbydoobydoo]

If you're feeling up to it, why not just answer all of the 65 questions from the ask list?

Ok here goes haha

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Yeah for sure, but at this point I just figure I can’t do a whole lot about it so I’m just rolling with whatever is the truth (basically the same thing as us maybe being in a simulation, I don’t think the answer really matters)

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Like 4 or 5, I’m very scared of the dark tbh I get super paranoid sometimes

3. The person you would never want to meet? Mike Pence

4. What is your favorite word? Exuberance or effulgent

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? A maple tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Bleh

7. What shirt are you wearing? A gray shirt from a hackathon I did last year

8. What do you label yourself as? A creative, a student, a future teacher, a lesbian, a human

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Talking to my dad about child psychology

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 18

12. Who told you they loved you last? My mom

13. Your worst enemy? The US government

14. What is your current desktop picture? A drawing that someone did of a mountain landscape

15. Do you like someone? Yeee my partner!

16. The last song you listened to? Rollercoaster by The Orion Experience

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? The dictator of the US

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Same as #17

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Same as #17, and I would just try to fix as many things that he’s done as I could lol

20. What is your best physical attribute? I really like my eyes! They’re gray and I think that’s pretty cool

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I feel like honestly I would look approximately the same, or like my brother lol though we already look pretty similar. I’d just continue existing, idk I don’t think I’d do anything differently cause gender is funky

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Yes! I can write in a whole bunch of different fonts by hand really easily (like I can switch between fonts without having to write slower or think too much about it)

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Ok so like I’m really afraid of small heights but not big heights. For some reason heights like doing a ropes course or trapeze absolutely terrify me but I’m totally fine like on a tall mountain or in a plane

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Maple tempeh with hummus, avocado, tomato and lettuce on wheat bread sounds 10/10 rn

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? I’d donate it to the Transgender Law Center

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Hmmmmm I wouldn’t go on a plane because we’re still in a pandemic but theoretically if this were a normal time I’d probably go somewhere in Canada

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? I don’t drink alcohol so I’m good!

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Freedom of speech (with the exception of hate speech)

29. What is your favorite expletive? Asshat, mainly cause I think it’s kinda funny

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? My laptop, I have too many photos and files that I don’t want to lose

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Getting blackmailed by my brother

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Canada here we come!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My cat, Clara. She was the absolute sweetest being that has ever graced this planet, and she was my only true friend for many years

34. What was your last dream about? The commune that I lived at last summer

35. Are you a good listener? I think so? I try to be, especially since I took some workshops in nonviolent communication and how to be a better listener and I think those were really helpful!

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? No but I probably should have been

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Yeah

38. What is the color of your socks? Light blue

39. What type of music do you like? Idk a lot of stuff I guess? Musical soundtracks, indie rock, pop-rock, etc.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!!!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Vanilla (boring, I know lol)

42. What football team do you support? Idk any sports teams :/

43. Do you have any scars? Yeah, many

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I mean like theoretically I would love to be a painter but realistically I’m gonna become an elementary school teacher

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Bruh how tf do I choose just one??? Uhhhhhh honestly I would get rid of my uterus I don’t want it and it just causes pain

46. Are you reliable? Yeah, very

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? Which career path do I end up on?

48. Do you hold grudges? Yeah, only about big things though

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? I’d breed cats and rabbits together to create: cabbits

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? One time me and one of my friends were laying on the floor of our dorm’s common room and we were talking about a bunch of fucked up stuff we’ve done (like not necessarily bad things, but just like those weird, “are you ok?” kind of things)

51. Are you a good liar? Yeah actually! I don’t know how, but I'm a really good liar if I genuinely want to lie about something. 

52. How long could you go without talking? A very long time. Singing would be a drastically different answer though

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? When I first cut my hair short when I was 16, it was just a very awkward length and I didn’t know what was happening

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Yeah I actually baked one yesterday

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? I can kinda do a southern accent

56. What do you like on your toast? Vegan butter and roasted garlic mmmmm

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? Roman Sanders lol

58. What would be you dream car? I’ve always wanted a light blue convertible, like as long as I can remember I’ve had this very specific car in mind that I know I’d never actually buy but in theory would be very cool

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Sometimes I sing in the shower, also I used to sit down while showering lol

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yeah, I don’t have any specific theories but I think there’s probably some other intelligent life out there

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Not really

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? E

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons

64. What do you think about babies? Amazing, I was one once

This was fun! Kinda therapeutic tbh lol

[erinptah]

The Secret Commonwealth review: It was...pretty underwhelming, mostly

Finally got the audiobook of The Secret Commonwealth checked out from my local library!

(Here’s my review of its predecessor, La Belle Sauvage, if you want to start there.)

It’s 20 hours long. Whoof.

As for the contents…look, it was well-written prose. I didn’t get bored while listening. (Rereading that last review, I realized I’d written the same thing about the previous book, too.) But in retrospect, there sure was not a lot that happened in those 20 hours. Some notable action bits, in between a lot of padding.

And my reactions mostly consist of…complaints. Not “this is hideous, time to ragequit the series, this is an unqualified anti-rec” complaints, more a low-level churn of frustration.

(There’s one scene I know has made someone else outright refuse to read it, though, and I think it’s totally reasonable. More on that later.)

So I’m gonna try to unpack a bunch of it here. Hopefully in enough detail that, if you haven’t read it yet (and don’t mind spoilers), it can help you make an informed decision about whether it’s worth spending 20 hours of your life on.

Spoilers start here!

The Story

We open with Lyra as a 20-year-old student at St. Sophia’s, a women’s college in Oxford. She’s made some kinda-friends, including former booty calls that she’s still on good terms with, but she’s badly estranged from Pantalaimon.

Their rift is exacerbated by a couple of books she’s read that are popular with young intellectuals lately. One is a philosophy book, one is a novel, both of them seem broadly Ayn Randian in the sense that “teens/college kids get really into these books and decide it’s smart and fashionable to adopt their moral framework, ignoring both the logical failures and the ways in which this turns you into a horrible person.”

She’s been staying at Jordan between semesters, but political drama forces her to move, and that’s when Oakley Street swoops in to make contact. They’re the secret Magisterum-thwarting spy organization that Hannah Relf worked for in La Belle Sauvage. Employees now include Alice Lonsdale and Malcolm Polstead, who fill Lyra in on the events of the previous book.

Lyra crashes at Malcolm’s parents’ inn for a bit, but her fighting with Pan gets so bad that he takes off, leaving a note. He’s going to confront one of the authors of the fashionable/terrible books — who lives in Germany, so this could take a while.

Since Lyra can’t just hang around and go through the motions of a normal life while her daemon is visibly missing, she takes off too. First on a detour to the Gyptians, then on a sorta meandering cross-continental journey of her own.

Along the way, both Lyra and Pan keep uncovering new details about this ongoing side plot:

It turns out there’s a place, I think somewhere in the Middle East, where daemons can’t go — same as the area in the North that witches use for separation ordeals. If a human crosses that area, they arrive at the growing-place of a type of rose that won’t grow properly anywhere else, whose oil has the same effect as the seed-pod sap used by Mary Malone in the mulefa world — you can use it to make a Dust-viewing lens.

This rose oil can also be used to make all kinds of super-cool products, like the World’s Best Perfume and the World’s Best Rosewater, so it’s valuable for lots of reasons. But a few researchers have caught on to the Dust-viewing power, and the Magisterium has caught on that some dangerous research is happening with roses, so they’ve started destroying every rosebush they can find in the general region — wreaking havoc with the global economy in the process.

(They’re also trying to convince the general population that God Says Roses Are Immoral now. If this book had come out 5 years ago, I could’ve made some great connections with “there’s widespread successful Magisterium propaganda about how nobody should like or respect the work of botanists.”)

And there’s a related plot where Lyra’s uncle (she actually has one! Mrs. Coulter had a brother!) is playing a long game to re-consolidate as much Magisterium power as possible under a single individual. It gets us some good dramatic sequences…which I feel no need to break down here, because they’re exactly the ones you would imagine, with exactly the outcome you’re already expecting.

One of Uncle Wannabe-Pope’s employees is Bonneville Junior, the son of the miniboss from La Belle Sauvage. He’s a trained alethiometrist, but is more interested in his personal vendetta against Lyra than his actual job. Takes after Dad in that he’s not very deep or complex, just a straightforward fun-to-hate villain.

Pan eventually makes his way to the Terrible Author’s home, where he discovers that things are weird and creepy, but not very specific. Doesn’t achieve anything in particular, either. Disheartened, he sets off for the Region of the Weird Roses, with the idea he’ll meet Lyra there.

Lyra, meanwhile, has a notebook they recovered from an explorer who went to the Region of the Weird Roses. It includes a list of other (non-witch) people across the world who’ve been separated, because apparently they’re more common than you’d think, and have a secret support network. So she visits a few of these people along her trip, with an endgame goal of Weird Roseville.

Malcolm also makes his own journey toward Weird Roseville. I think it was part of an Oakley Street investigation into “what does the Magisterium have against roses these days?” In the middle of it, Bonneville Junior confronts him (Junior is having trouble finding Lyra, but has a secondary vendetta against Malcolm for killing his dad, so this is almost as good). Malcolm talks him down.

At last Lyra, Pan, and Junior all hit the same “creepy deserted town in the general area of Weird Roseville.” But none of them manage to interact before the book ends.

…In my LBS review, I said it had serious middle-of-the-trilogy syndrome, a whole lot of setup for no payoff. TSC spends very little time following up on any of it. To be fair, the Original Trilogy has happened in the meantime and this book also tries to address some of the events from that, but the vast bulk of it is even more setup for no payoff.

Complaints, Broadly Organized By Theme, In Loosely Chronological Order

Lyra at St. Sophia’s:

I really like how the opening sequence involves Lyra noticing a friend is in distress and helping her out! (Friend’s dad is in the rose-using business, and his company is going under.) And then…that’s the last we see of any connections with female friends her own age. In the entire book.

One of the Terrible Rationalist Books is spreading the idea that “daemons are a collective hallucination.” This is not a “rational” idea in this world! It would be like saying that faces are a collective hallucination!

And Lyra is the least likely person in this world to buy into it, because she’s visited a world without visible daemons, and got empirical proof (via Will’s and John Parry’s separation ordeals) that even under those conditions, they still exist!

I can appreciate the idea of Lyra and Pan being traumatized and scarred and having trouble, but this, specifically, is a nonsensical thing for them to argue over.

The book also gestures (not very hard, thankfully) toward the idea that Lyra is doubting the existence of magic in general. Which, again, is the equivalent of someone from our world deciding it’s rational to doubt the existence of weather.

Also, it seems like Lyra/Pan haven’t had any contact with witch society through these years. Why not? If anyone’s going to have sympathy and understanding and support groups for their separation-related trauma, it’s the culture where every single member formally goes through the same thing! And I’m sure Serafina would be delighted to see them! But they don’t even consider the idea.

Lyra and Malcolm:

Yes, they’re being telegraphed as a future couple, and yes, it’s just as creepy and unappealing as the internet has been saying.

And, look, I’m not going to say “20-year-old Lyra is too young to date anyone she wants.” Not after we got through all of Original Flavor HDM without saying “12-year-old Lyra is too young to go on an interdimensional journey with no adult supervision and save the multiverse.”

But he was one of her teachers when she was 16, and his POV includes remembering how he had to actively shut down sexual interest in her then, and here in the present Lyra still thinks of him as kind of a distant authority figure, and that’s weird, okay?

They only have a couple days’ worth of actual interaction before being apart for the rest of the book. That’s not enough time to believably develop their dynamic into something believably-potentially-romantic. So the narrative doesn’t try.

…but it still has multiple people ask Malcolm if he’s in love with Lyra afterward.

The foreshadowing on Lyra’s side is all in how she keeps thinking about how similar he is to Will. (Cat daemon, killed someone when he was a tween, etc.) Because that’s what we all want for Lyra’s romantic future, a knockoff Will-substitute, amirite?

Separately: Malcolm and friends tell Lyra the whole backstory about the magical boat trip from La Belle Sauvage, but it doesn’t seem like she tells them anything about “that time I went on an interdimensional journey, built a group of allies from multiple worlds and species including literal angels, killed God, and permanently rewrote the nature of death.” I feel like that should’ve come up!

General daemon stuff:

There’s a moment in the early chapters when Pan, wandering alone at night, considers eating some small critter (the kind that an ordinary pine marten would eat). It’s not like he’s going through a species-identity crisis, either. It’s just written as…a thing a daemon might do. So that’s weird.

In the original series, daemon separation is a major, improbable ordeal. Under normal circumstances, a human and a daemon being dragged apart past their distance limit will just kill them. At Bolvangar they figured out a severance method that would leave you physically functional, but dead inside. Witch-style separation only happens at this special daemon-repelling place in the North (you don’t have to be a witch to use it, see John Parry, but they usually don’t tell non-witches it exists), or on the shores of the World of the Dead. So far, so good.

In this series, we find out that there’s another place on this Earth with the same daemon-repelling properties. It’s also remote and isolated and associated with Cool Weird Stuff (the cities in the Northern Lights vs. the Dust-revealing roses). Again, so far, so good.

…And then we find out that random people can just kinda do a separation ordeal anywhere. Okay, it already happened to Malcolm in La Belle Sauvage, but now it’s all over the place. Lyra keeps spotting people on the street without daemons! Pan teams up with a kid who got dragged apart from her daemon in a shipwreck, and it didn’t kill them! It’s too easy. It’s unsatisfying. It undercuts so much of the monumental feeling separation had in the original trilogy.

It also makes it even weirder that nobody was able to hook Lyra and Pan up with a support group. Oakley Street couldn’t suss it out? Her friends among the Gyptians couldn’t catch an underground rumor and pass it on?

Related: when we saw daemonless kids in The Golden Compass, they were treated like horror-movie monsters. Like zombies, ghosts, bodies walking around without heads. But when people clock Lyra as being daemonless here, they treat it like it’s something immoral. Like she’s walking around topless and needs to cover it up.

There’s just a general pattern of rewriting HDM’s established rules about daemons, and not for the better.

And speaking of rewriting established rules…general alethiometer stuff:

There is a New Method for reading the alethiometer. It involves pointing all three hands at the same symbol, which already seems like a gimmick, not a useful way to frame a question.

And somehow, that gets you the answers in the form of…magic visions. No intuition or interpretation needed! The sights and sounds just get funneled directly into your brain!

The reason this isn’t a Plot-Breaking Hack is because it makes the user super-queasy. You can only use it when you’re in a position to be sick afterward, and people would rather not use it at all.

Lyra spends most of the story with the alethiometer, and without all the symbology books that go with it. She avoids using the New Method because of the nausea, but she also avoids using the Classic Method, on the grounds that it apparently can’t get her anything without the books.

She’s been studying these books for years now! Couldn’t she at least try to read it, and make her best guess at the interpretation? Maybe sometimes she gets it right, maybe sometimes she’s wrong and things go sideways and she realizes in hindsight which of the symbols she misread, maybe sometimes she gives up and gets depressed and puts it away without drawing a conclusion at all…but nope, she just flat-out doesn’t interact with it.

Midway through the book, Lyra gets a tipoff about a kind of truth-reading cards. That’s fine; we know there are other methods of truth-reading in the multiverse, including the I Ching and Mary Malone’s computer. Makes sense as a new tidbit of worldbuilding.

But towards the end of the story, someone helpfully gifts Lyra a deck of the cards. And she spends some time trying to infer answers from how the pretty pictures on the cards fit together. More time than she spends trying to infer answers from how the pretty pictures on the alethiometer fit together.

The alethiometer didn’t need a New Method or a total replacement in the narrative…but apparently it’s getting them.

And what was the point of Lyra dedicating herself to studying those symbols, for years, if she can get better and more-accurate data from a set of symbols she’d never seen before until this week?

Pan’s international voyage:

This all started when Pan got the idea that Terrible Author had “put a spell on Lyra and stolen her imagination.” Which sounds like a figure of speech at first, but no, apparently Pan thinks this guy is literally magic.

And yet, somehow, not magic enough to be dangerous, even for a single lone daemon whose only plan is “confront him directly and demand that he fix it”?

Most of the trip is uneventful, since it’s a long string of Pan successfully keeping out-of-sight.

There’s one clever part where, once he’s in Terrible Author’s hometown, he finds a school for the blind to ask for information. That way he can say “my girl is totally standing right over there, don’t worry about it, now, any chance you know where Terrible Author lives?”

…of course, the first person he asks has exactly the right answer and is happy to share. Convenient, that.

As mentioned, Terrible Author’s setup is suitably creepy and off-putting, but Pan doesn’t figure out anything about why. Doesn’t investigate. Didn’t come up with any kind of plan beforehand about how to coax Terrible Author into undoing his evil spell. Pan just confronts him, demands he fix Lyra, realizes this hasn’t fixed Lyra, and leaves.

There’s a bombshell much later on when Lyra finds out that Terrible Author is separated! And, although there’s a daemon who hangs around with him, they don’t actually belong to each other! This is fascinating and disturbing and would’ve been so much more satisfying if, you know, Pan had figured this out and was actively trying to bring the information to Lyra. Or, heck, if anything had been done with it at all.

Shortly afterward, Pan runs into this girl who just happens to be separated from her daemon, and is available and happy to team up with Pan, so they can head off to Weird Roseville together. Convenient. Again.

Lyra’s Bogus Journey:

Lyra has a much harder time staying out of sight than Pan, so she gets a lot more interaction along her trip.

Most of it is a long string of the same convenient “running into people who are helpful and friendly and have exactly the information she needs to move the plot along.” (More details on that below.)

When this happened in the original trilogy, it was the alethiometer deus-ex-machining her in the right direction, which worked! But here it seems to keep happening by accident. (She brings the alethiometer, but, as mentioned, she doesn’t use it.)

The Conveniently Helpful People also keep telling her (with minimal prompting, and what seems like total honesty?) whole backstories. All of which are more interesting than the actual narrative she’s going through.

They also occasionally mention God/the Authority, and Lyra doesn’t have much of a reaction. I wish, just once, she had snapped “it doesn’t matter what the Authority thinks! Or rather, what he used to think, since my boyfriend and I killed him when we were 12!”

The convenience also could’ve worked if Oakley Street agents were being cool and clever and actively tracking her journey in order to help. She does run into a few of them, but that seems to be by accident too.

And it could’ve worked if there was other magic steering her along — she keeps dropping the phrase “the secret commonwealth,” meaning the world’s hidden population of faeries and other supernatural creatures — but as of the end of the book, none of Lyra’s friendly helpers have been revealed to be anything other than human. (Some are modified in exotic ways, but they were human to start with, at least.)

Even farther towards the end of the book, after this long string of people being Conveniently Helpful For No Reason, she ends up in a train car with…and I wish I was making this up…a bunch of soldiers who are Inconveniently Attempted Rapists For No Reason.

That record-scratch moment your brain just did? That’s how it feels in the book, too. The attack comes out of nowhere, there’s suddenly a big action sequence with Lyra fighting back, their CO shows up and makes them let her go, and then she leaves the train and heads almost directly to the next bunch of Conveniently Helpful People.

If anyone wants more detailed spoilers, either to be prepared before reaching the scene or to decide whether you’ll read it at all, let me know.

To be blunt about one thing: from the in-scene descriptions I would’ve said none of these guys actually managed to get their dicks out, but a few days later we get the book’s first and only reference to Lyra having periods. And she doesn’t think “oh, thank republic-of-heavens, I’m not pregnant,” which suggests she knew it wasn’t a risk, but the whole Narrative Reason you write that in after an assault scene is because someone is afraid it’s a risk, so, what are you even doing, Pullman??

Okay, switching tracks.

Some of the people Lyra encounters, usually with personal stories that are way more interesting, and I wish they’d been [part of] the actual main plot:

A guy who meets her at a train station, says he has a friend who needs her help, leads her out into a maze of city streets where she explicitly thinks about how risky this is because she’s totally lost…but she does the mission and it’s fine and he leads her right back to the train station afterward.

The friend is a human who’s been modified by “a magician” to be some kind of fire-elemental person, and wants Lyra to help find his daemon, who was modified into a water-elemental form — a mermaid! This is cool and fascinating and scary and raises so many questions —

— and they get killed immediately after Lyra reunites them, and we never find out anything more about it.

The killer is the magician, who had been holding the water-sprite daemon captive. (And is possibly also the guy’s father? Finally, someone who can beat Marisa and Asriel in a “Bad Parenting Juice” drinking contest.) Which, again, is fascinating and evocative — how do you become a magician? Or are they born, like the witches? How many are there? What kinds of things are they doing in the world? —

— yeah, we don’t find out anything about that either.

Murderous Magician Dad just gives Lyra some helpful plot information, then sends her and the train-station guy off on their way.

A couple of guys who intervene when Lyra is being harassed at a bar.

They steer her outside, she’s prepared for a fight, but they hold up their hands and say they’re friendly, and also, they noticed someone steal the alethiometer bag off her earlier, so here, would she like it back?

They give her some helpful rumors, too. Don’t remember which specific ones, but they lead her to the next plot point.

A rich elderly princess who’s on the Daemonless International Support Group list, because her daemon fell in love (!) with another woman (!!) and eventually ran off with her (!!!).

Lyra thinks to herself that she’s seen other situations where a daemon and their human have different feelings about a romance. Just thinks it in passing, and then it’s gone. I want to see these situations! I want on-page exploration of multiple ways they can work! How do they correspond to the feelings of people in worlds where all the daemons are internal?

As for the princess, I already knew it was going to be a big scandal — two human women in that day and age could never be a couple, at least not in public, and A Literal Princess is a very public figure —

but then, in spite of the scandal, the princess moves in with the woman! And they travel together, they work together, they share a bed, she explains to Lyra that she played the role so thoroughly she made herself fall in love with the woman!

…and then it falls apart for some reason, and the princess leaves, but her daemon insists on staying. So that’s how they get separated. Deliberately walking away from each other.

There’s a brief reference to the idea of him wishing he was the other woman’s daemon, instead of the princess’s. How does that work? How do you get so disconnected from yourself, and in such a skewed partial-match with someone else, that you end up with that kind of yearning?

In case you can’t tell, I want to read this novel. I would trade the entirety of The Secret Commonwealth for this novel. No question, hands down.

Instead: Princess says “if you run into my daemon, tell him I’d like to see him again before we die?” Lyra says “sure, can do, thanks for the brunch.” And then, you guessed it, that whole scene is over and done with and we never get any follow-up on it again.

A pair of agents from Oakley Street, who say “hey, Lyra, have you considered using some basic disguise techniques, like dyeing your hair and wearing glasses?”

And then they give her a lovely haircut and a dye job and a spare pair of fake glasses.

This isn’t anywhere near the beginning of Lyra’s journey, by the way! This is more than 80% of the way through the book. There’s no special reason she needs it more after this point.

It’s like Pullman suddenly realized a disguise might help, wrote the scene at the point he had reached, and then never went back and edited to put it in a more meaningful location.

The stranger on a train who shows Lyra the deck of “exactly the same as an alethiometer” cards, gives her a demonstration of how to use them, and then leaves the whole deck behind for her to keep.

A married couple who don’t share any languages in common with Lyra, and don’t seem to have a lot of money…but feed her and let her stay at their house overnight, for free, even daemonless as she is. They also give her a free niqab so she can move around less conspicuously (she’s still injured from the fight with the soldiers).

A priest who invites her into his church, isn’t bothered when she takes off the niqab, helps treat her injuries, and gives her a motherlode of useful details about highly-illegal dealings he’s not even supposed to know about, but will unveil to this total stranger who just wandered in, because she needs them for the next plot point.

This when Lyra finds out that someone in this region has resurrected the Bolvangar method. But this time they aren’t kidnapping random children for it. No, they’re paying for it. If you’re poor enough, and desperate enough, and can’t spare any more kidneys, these people will buy your daemon to sell on the black market.

The city has a whole secret underclass of illegally-severed people working in the sewers.

Meanwhile, rich people who’ve been deserted by their daemons can purchase a stand-in. This is what Terrible Author did. Of course, it’s not a true replacement, but the dealers boast about their ability to make an excellent match.

There are also people who buy separated daemons for other scientific/experimental purposes. Details left to our imaginations.

This is a horrifying sinister mindblowing discovery, as much of a bombshell as the original Bolvangar was. I mean, it would’ve hit harder if Lyra had uncovered it by spying, or tricking someone into revealing the information, or anything more elaborate than “asking straightforward sorta-related questions and getting this whole sordid story infodumped by the first guy she asked,” but it’s still big.

So it’s gonna shake things up something fierce, right? Maybe Lyra won’t go full-on “calling in the cavalry to tear the place down” until Book 3, but this would be her new “stepping through the doorway into the sky” moment — where the horror of what she’s learned galvanizes her into making a pivotal decision, where she starts laying the groundwork for the revolution —

— no, of course not, this is where she starts going around to the hideouts of various undercover daemon-sellers and asking if they can help her find Pan.

Come on.

And this brings us to the end of the book. One of the black-market daemon-sellers guides Lyra to the creepy abandoned town where the final scene takes place.

In these last moments, the audience (but not Lyra) finds out that this guy has ulterior motives. Which would make it the first time in the whole book when “Lyra or Pan takes a Conveniently Helpful Person at face value with total credulity” turns out to be a bad idea.

(And, I mean, he’s a black-market daemon-seller. If anyone on that list was obviously an unethical scumball who shouldn’t be counted on….!)

Finally, a few things that don’t fit into any neat lists, but annoyed me enough to mention:

1) People curse in this book. Which is notable because they didn’t in HDM, and it wasn’t just the adults watching their mouths around tween Lyra — we got plenty of scenes that only had people like Mrs. Coulter and Lord Asriel in them. Those two would definitely be dropping f-bombs if it was a routine part of their world’s language, and this book reveals that it is.

So every time it happens it breaks your immersion, pointedly reminding you “this isn’t a real world, it’s a fake story where the author can switch the profanity-filter on and off at will.” Does it enhance the narrative in a way that’s worth the tradeoff? I don’t think so.

2) Before I read the book, I’d heard vague spoilers about “a character with a mermaid daemon,” and figured it was someone from a cool magical species — hopefully more expansion/exploration on the fairy from La Belle Sauvage whose daemon appeared to be “a whole flock of butterflies.”

But no, it’s a magically-modified human. His situation doesn’t get explored that deeply before he dies, or connect with anything else in the story. The fairy, meanwhile, does get mentioned when Malcolm tells Lyra about meeting her, but she doesn’t reappear or get any kind of follow-up.

In spite of the title, the only explicit appearance of any members of the “secret commonwealth” is some little glowing spirits, basically wights, that Lyra watches over the side of a gyptian boat one time.

3) There’s a scene where a bunch of people gather in a meeting hall to protest the Magisterium sabotaging their various rose-related livelihoods. A couple Magisterium reps are there. Malcolm is also there, and his POV basically goes “huh, looks like all the exits have gotten the doors shut. And barred. And suddenly they each have an armed Magisterium agent standing in front of them. That’s weird. Gonna keep quietly observing to find out what happens next.”

This guy is supposed to be a cool experienced anti-Magisterium spy! This is basically a giant neon sign flashing COMING UP NEXT: MASSACRE! (It is not a misdirect, either.)

And Malcolm sees it, but doesn’t read it, or take any action to try to subvert it, or even move to defend himself — it’s just like any cheesy horror movie where the audience is shouting LOOK BEHIND YOU at the unwitting character who’s about to get murdered.

Wrap-Up Thoughts

Whatever happens in the final volume of this trilogy, it might reveal things that redeem some of the problems in this book. But I’ll be honest, I’m not holding my breath.

And when I think about reveals that would address these problems, everything I come up with is stuff that should’ve just been in this book.

For example: let’s say the Fair Folk are directly involved after all, intervening to steer Lyra and Pan down the most convenient paths. In particular, the guy on the train who only appears long enough to give Lyra a set of alethiometry cards + a tutorial on how to use them — I really want him to be Fae. It’s so contrived and random if he’s not.

But the readers should know about it! Back in HDM, we would get scenes about the plans and activities of all the other factions at work. It might take a while to discover the exact details of (for example) the witches’ ultimate goal that Lyra was part of, but we knew they had a goal, and were supporting her in service of it. If the Secret Commonwealth is actively involved in the plot, we should’ve gotten that by now.

Semi-related: I feel like, if the rest of the book was better, then I’d have no trouble explaining a lot of the Lyra-specific issues as “she’s super-depressed, not in a place to make great choices or take a lot of decisive action.”

But it’s not like she’s drifting around in a trauma fog that hampers her ability to get things done. Her journey, while not perfect or threat-free, still comes together with improbable smoothness — as if the writing hasn’t noticed that she’s not being proactive and prescient and well-coordinated and overall super-competent about it. Meanwhile, other characters are underwhelming in the same way. (Looking at you, Malcolm “I Can’t Believe It’s Now a Bloodbath” Polstead.)

So it doesn’t seem like a conscious narrative choice to write Lyra this way. It just seems consistent with the complaints I have about everything else in the writing.

…let’s be honest, I’m almost certainly gonna read the third book anyway. I’m enough of a completist that it’ll bother me not to, I don’t have a lot of hard-stop dealbreakers that would make me bow out anyway, and, well, I do a lot of work that requires time-passing listening material. The Secret Commonwealth is nowhere near the most-frustrating audio I’ve used to fill that time.

But it hasn’t left me excited or optimistic or Shivering With Anticipation, either.

Mostly I just anticipate getting some useful stuff done while I listen, and then having a final set of reactions to work through in another one of these posts.

[angelofthequeers]

Balance

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

As much fun as it is to write salt, I also want to be known for my sugar abilities too

Vive le sel though

Summary:  After the events of Oni-chan, Adrien has a realisation or two about doing the right thing. Then Ladybug decides to pay a visit and, well...he must be dreaming, because there's no way this is real life.

AO3 link

“Wow, you look even sourer than sour cream,” Plagg comments with his mouth stuffed full of Camembert. “And that’s saying something. Reminds me of a time back in –”

“I should’ve listened to Marinette.”

“Huh?”

Adrien sighs and lets his fingers fall from the piano keys. What’s the point when his heart’s not even in it? “I told Marinette not to expose Lila because she wasn’t hurting anyone. But she hurt lots of people today, Plagg. Nathalie, Gorilla, Kagami…me…”

“Kinda sucks to learn, doesn’t it?” Plagg says. “Not everything can be solved with nice words. Besides, that’s much more Tikki’s sappy thing. We do better when we jump in and just do it.”

“I just didn’t want Lila to be akumatised again!” Who is Adrien even trying to convince? Plagg? Or…himself?

“That girl would get akumatised at the drop of a hat,” Plagg says rather flippantly. “I never got why you’re so keen to be her white knight.”

“I just…didn’t want to cause trouble.”

Plagg raises an eyebrow. “You turn into a leather cat superhero and fight supervillains. With a bell around your neck. I’m pretty sure that’s about the furthest you can get from causing trouble.”

“That’s different,” Adrien argues. “I’m Chat Noir when I do that. Whatever I do as him doesn’t affect me as Adrien. But if I cause trouble as Adrien, I have to live with it. And don’t pick on the bell, I think it’s cool.”

“Look, kid, I get where you’re coming from.” Plagg abandons his cheese and darts over to the piano for this, so Adrien knows that this has just gotten real. “You think you’re the first holder I’ve had with a shitty home life? I’m drawn to abused and neglected kids. They got a whole bunch of bottled-up crap to work through, I give ‘em a way to channel it into something productive. And destructive. Kids like you are the perfect match for destruction.”

“Really?” Adrien blinks. “You’ve never told me this before.”

“Didn’t think I’d have to. But after what happened today, I think you need to hear it. That’s why you didn’t get Tikki. Her bugs are the creative, warm, happy type who can think on their feet. No offence, but you’re more of the brawn than the brain when it comes to akumas.”

“No offence taken,” Adrien says. He files away Plagg’s description of Ladybug for future ruminating on who she could be, now that he knows more about her civilian personality. “I know milady’s the brains of us.”

“Which isn’t to say that you’re not smart,” Plagg adds, crossing his tiny arms. “And that Ladybug’s not tough and strong. But your strength is channelling all the shit you keep locked up into fighting and dusting things. And since you’re still such a doormat as a civilian, you overcompensate as a hero. It’s freedom for you.”

“Of course it is,” Adrien says. “I can let loose as Chat Noir.”

“And how many times does that get you in trouble?” Plagg says. “Remember Oblivio? The point of channelling your crap through me is so you learn how to do it as you. That’s what Tikki and I do: we give our holders a way to let loose so they can improve themselves. But when you keep it all bottled up as you, it slips through as Chat Noir. Then you make stupid mistakes ‘cause you’re too free.”

“So…” Adrien runs a hand through his hair as the cogs whir in his brain. “You’re saying…I need to find a balance between me and Chat Noir?”

“Yep,” Plagg says. “Balance. Me and Tikki are balanced. You and Ladybug are balanced. But you and Chat Noir also have to be balanced.” Plagg looks Adrien deep in the eye and, uncharacteristically serious, says, “You and Chat Noir aren’t separate people, Adrien. They’re two sides of the same. You’re not Adrien Agreste who happens to turn into a totally new person; you’re Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir.”

Plagg’s words burrow deep into Adrien’s ears, invading his brain, leaving his mouth unable to form words. In all his time as Chat Noir, how has he never realised what Plagg’s just up and telling him to his face? He’s been so wild, so happy, so…free as Chat Noir that he hasn’t once stopped and realised that he is Chat Noir.

Of course he knows he’s Chat Noir. It’s his superhero identity, after all. But there’s always been such a wall in his mind between himself and Chat Noir, fuelled by the extremely different perceptions that people have of Adrien Agreste versus Chat Noir, that…maybe he’s been caught up in that too.

“Had a good little think?” Plagg taunts. For once, Adrien doesn’t roll his eyes; really, Plagg deserves to be smug this time at least.

“I need to apologise to Marinette,” Adrien says. “And I need to actually stand up to Lila instead of trying to keep the peace. You’re right, Plagg.”

“I know I am.” Plagg puffs up, smirking. “I’d say that earns me a big block of that –”

“No.”

“But Adrien –”

A tap on the window cuts Plagg’s whining short. The kwami dives out of sight, while Adrien turns to investigate and is rendered speechless for the second time that night by the red figure hanging outside his window.

“Ladybug?” he says when he opens the window so that she can slip inside. “Not that I’m upset to see you – I’m always happy to be with – I mean – gah –”

Ladybug’s giggle is a heavenly choir to Adrien’s ears, and it leaves him in a daze for a few moments, giving Ladybug time to cross over to the long couch and sit down. Her suit is even brighter against the white material, a vivid scarlet, but Adrien’s drawn to the beautiful blue eyes behind the mask as he sits next to her. Does he know those eyes? They seem so mockingly familiar, yet so far away…

“I came to see you after what happened today,” Ladybug says. “I just dropped in to check on Kagami briefly. I’ve been trying to visit people who are akumatised more than once.”

“How is she?” Adrien says immediately. The ghost of a grimace passes over Ladybug’s face, although he’d probably just imagined it.

“As well as can be. I told her not to feel ashamed of being akumatised again, but I don’t think she believed me.”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow.” Adrien’s heart swells even more. Not only is Ladybug strong and bold and beautiful, but she’s also so sweet and caring that he can’t help but fall even deeper for her. How can he not know who her civilian identity is? He should have noticed such a gorgeous girl by now.

“How are you doing?” Ladybug says. “I know that you weren’t caught up in the action, but…well, I imagine you must be feeling awful about being caught between these girls.”

“Getting caught between girls is just life for me. I’m actually hitting myself for not listening to Marinette,” Adrien says.

“M-Marinette?” A dusting of deep pink spreads across Ladybug’s cheeks. “What do you mean?”

“She told me that Lila was no good. And I know that Lila’s a liar! I just…I kind of buried my head in the sand and hoped it would all go away. I told Marinette not to do anything in case Lila got akumatised.”

“Sounds like Marinette is pretty clued in,” Ladybug says, though her tone is so odd that Adrien wouldn’t even know how to start interpreting it.

“I also feel a bit selfish,” Adrien sighs. “I mean, I’m only saying this now because Lila got Nathalie and my bodyguard in trouble and made things hard on me. What about when she was making Marinette’s life hard? I wasn’t exactly good support then.”

“None of us are perfect,” Ladybug says. “I was way too aggressive to Lila the first time I talked to her. What matters is that you own up to your mistakes and try to make amends.”

“You really think that Marinette will forgive me?” Adrien says. “I basically told her to sit down and shut up and let Lila get away with everything. How must Marinette have felt? I put the girl in the wrong over the girl in the right.”

“Has Marinette given you any indication that she wouldn’t forgive you?”

“No. She’s such a sweet and awesome girl that I know she would. I just don’t know if I’d deserve it after the way I invalidated her.” Adrien wonders why Ladybug’s cheeks darken to a shade of crimson similar to her suit. “I actually called her our everyday Ladybug, did you know? She reminds me a lot of you.”

“O-Oh,” Ladybug stammers. “That’s – compliment, nice – ahh, I’m hopeless!” She shakes her head, her black pigtails swinging around her face in the process. “I’m sorry, I’m just such a mess. It’s been a weird day.”

“I’ll say,” Adrien agrees. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s reaching out and brushing strands of dark hair out of Ladybug’s eyes, although this only makes her face grow even redder. He jerks his hand back. “Oh! I’m – I’m sorry –”

“I don’t mind,” comes Ladybug’s soft reply. Heart pounding, Adrien shifts even closer so that their arms are touching, and the warmth of Ladybug through her suit practically sets Adrien’s skin on fire.

“Would –” Adrien licks his dry lips, then swallows. “Would, ah – it be inappropriate to tell you that…you’re the reason none of those girls stand a chance?”

“Ah…” Ladybug looks like she’s stopped breathing. Figuring that he can’t mess this up even more, Adrien decides to just go ahead and get it all out.

“Ever since you first appeared, I’ve…well, I’ve been in – in lo –” Adrien closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “In l – well – you get it, right?”

Ladybug just whines. Adrien would probably be worried about how red her entire face is if the sight wasn’t so adorable.

“And it’s not a celebrity thing,” he hastens to add. “I mean…I get celebrity things, yeah?”

“I – I’d hope so,” Ladybug says with a hysterical little laugh.

“You’re just so – so brave, and you always do the right thing, and you’re so – so pretty, and it kills me that I don’t know your civilian identity even though I understand why, because it makes me feel horrible that I haven’t noticed her –”

“T-That’s a good thing.” Ladybug clears her throat, but her voice is still very high. “Means my identity’s safe. But um…trust me, I – my civilian self – she wouldn’t exactly be disappointed to hear this.”

The implication smashes Adrien over the head like a baseball bat. “Y-You – she –”

It’s Ladybug’s turn to swallow, and Adrien’s eyes dart to the movement of her throat. “I…well, I suppose since you were honest – I just –” Ladybug takes a deep breath and clenches her fists. “I’ve told Chat Noir before that I’m not in love with him because there’s…another boy. So…um, surprise?”

Adrien blinks. Then he blinks again. All this time, he’s been trying to woo Ladybug, and she’s been rejecting him…for himself? There’s just something so cosmically hilarious about the realisation that he’s been cockblocking himself.

“It’s probably not wise,” Ladybug babbles when Adrien doesn’t say anything. “You know, since I’m a superhero. Secret identities – Hawkmoth – you’re famous – um – oh gosh.” She covers her face. “I’m just – I shouldn’t be such a mess behind the mask!”

“If it helps, I think my heart’s about to give out,” Adrien says. Ladybug giggles for the second time that night. God, if Adrien could bottle that sound, he’d listen to it for the rest of his life.

“So,” she says. “Um…my civilian self likes you. But I can’t tell you who she is. That means that I…also happen to l-like you.” To her credit, she barely stumbles in her speech. “And you – y-you like me.”

“Trust me, whoever your civilian self is, I’ll like her too,” Adrien says immediately. “Knowing this side of you made me fall for her. If I knew who she was, I’d know that this was a part of her, so I’d like her as a whole. Not that I’m pressuring you to tell me!” he hastens to add when Ladybug blushes again.

“W-Well…I suppose…I mean, so long as we’re careful…and you get targeted enough anyway, and Chat Noir and I always keep you safe…” Ladybug bites her lip and then, ever so slowly, she reaches out and takes Adrien’s hand, interlacing their fingers. Adrien’s chest about explodes as the heat from his hand shoots up his arm. Judging by how hot his face is, it’s probably as red as hers.

“Seriously?” Adrien manages to force out. “You want – you’re sure?”

Ladybug smiles at him and seems to recover a little of her boldness. “I’m sure,” she says. “The mask gives me that little push of courage I need, even if it’s still me behind it. Although I can’t tell you who I really am, so it’s going to be so hard in real life…”

“I’ll wait to know until you can tell me,” Adrien says straight away. “For as long as I need. But just let me say…if you’re worried that I’ll reject you or be disappointed in who you really are, you’re sorely mistaken. And I know that when I find out who you are…” He reaches up and brushes his fingers along Ladybug’s cheek, like he’s been dreaming of doing since the day he met her. Ladybug’s mouth falls open at the touch. “I’m only going to be twice as happy, knowing that such an extraordinary girl is Ladybug.”

Ladybug is frozen for a minute, no doubt processing everything Adrien had just said. Just as Adrien’s about to poke her and see if she’s still alive, she blinks and leans in even closer.

“Um…with your permission?” she says. It’s Adrien’s turn to freeze as he realises what’s about to happen, with the nod of his head purely an autopilot action. Ladybug’s lips curve into a small smile and then…and then those lips are touching his, and the smell of strawberries is everywhere, attacking, invading his senses as her hair tickles his nose, and her mouth is so warm and soft against his, and oh god he might actually die –

It takes at least half a minute for him to realise that they’ve stopped kissing, purely because his brain is currently trying to fry itself from the overload of Ladybug.

“Wow,” Ladybug mumbles against his lips. “That was even better than I imagined.”

“You’ve been imagining this?” Adrien’s mouth says without his permission. Ladybug squeaks and jerks away, so Adrien rushes to grab her hand and smile. “That was – uh, I’ve been dreaming of that too. Wow. You smell like strawberries.”

“Oh.” Ladybug’s cheeks flush for the nth time that night. “Um…you smell like Adrien.”

“Of course I do,” Adrien says with a goofy grin. “I am Adrien.”

“No!” Ladybug groans and facepalms. “I mean – ugh, that stupid –!”

A smile slowly forms on Adrien’s face. “Ladybug,” he says. “Have you seen that ad?”

Ladybug whines. “I hate my life. And I hate you. You’re too damn gorgeous for your own good. Oh my god, did I just say that out loud?”

“Me? Gorgeous?” Adrien says. “Have you even looked in the mirror lately?”

Ladybug glares at him, although her red face and twitching lips make it impossible for him to take her seriously. Now that he’s actually allowed to do so, Adrien leans in to give Ladybug a quick kiss on the lips, grinning at how she lets out an, “Eep!” and ducks her head.

“I should get going,” she blurts out. “Not that I want – I mean, I’d love to stay – but I’m sure you’re busy – and I need to do my homework –”

Adrien takes pity on his…girlfriend? Are they officially that? “Don’t worry, I won’t waste away in my tower,” he says. “There’s always tomorrow night. And the night after. And then the night after that.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Ladybug mutters. She bites her lip, then kisses Adrien before heading to his window and swinging her yo-yo. “I’ll…see you tomorrow, then?”

Rather than answer verbally, Adrien crosses over and slides an arm around her waist so that he can give her a proper goodbye kiss. “See you tomorrow, Ladybug,” he says.

“Not if you keep doing that,” Ladybug says with a little giggle. “I’m going to crash on my way home.”

Adrien’s sorely tempted to make a Chat Noir-esque comment, but he figures that it’s probably best to let the poor girl get home in one piece. He steps away so that she can jump out the window, although she remains hanging so that she can give him a smile and a little wave. Then she’s off, swinging across Paris, the setting sun illuminating her like some kind of angel, and Adrien has to pinch himself to make sure that this isn’t all just some dream that his brain has cooked up.

“Wow,” Plagg says, now out of hiding. “You’re the sappiest piece of shit ever. I’m actually gonna be sick.”

“Do it over there,” Adrien says dazedly. Plagg retches and rolls his eyes, then zips back to his precious Camembert while muttering under his breath.

There’s a knock on the door before Adrien can collapse into a puddle of skin and bones. “Adrien, it’s dinnertime,” Nathalie calls.

“Coming,” Adrien croaks. There’s a pause.

“Are you feeling well?” Nathalie says. “I didn’t hear your piano.”

“Uh – yeah – sorry, just a bit under the weather.”

“Then you’re to go to bed straight after dinner. I’m sure your father will excuse you from your post-dinner activities for one night.”

Adrien remains where he is, staring out the window after Ladybug as Nathalie’s footsteps grow fainter. The superhero is long gone, so Adrien shakes his head and forces himself to return to reality. The last thing Nathalie and his father need to know is that he’d just kissed a superhero in his room.

Heck, he can barely believe it himself.

[icarusaturn]

Learn about me!

1. Your name?

Maria Lawson

2. Nationality?

American

3. Age?

16

4. Birthday?

November 12, 2003

5. Zodiac sign?

Scorpio

6. Gender?

Female

7. Sexuality?

Bisexual

8. Your looks ( add a picture or describe them)

9. What do you/did you study?

I’m still in high school, but I’d like to study something either about language, music, or helping people/animals

10. What’s your current job like/what do you have?

I work during the summer at a Dairy Queen, a lot of my friends work there so it’s usually pretty fun

11. Your birth order?

Second, third if you count my sister

12. How many siblings do you have?

2, one brother and over half sister

13. Do you have good relations with your family?

Mostly yes

14. How many friends do you have?

Many but only around 5 close friends

15. Your relationship status?

Single

16. What do you look for in an SO?

Honest, kind, loves animals and kids, up to adventure, loves music, loves nerdy things, open to trying new things, good sense of humor, respects boundaries & privacy, not pushy

17. Do you have a crush?

No

18. When did you have your first kiss?

8th grade

19. Do you prefer a serious/meaningful relationship or casual dating/one night stands?

I won’t mind either a serious relationship or casual dating

20. What are your deal breakers?

No common sense, being an asshole, pushy, no respect, derogatory towards others, no self respect, being overwhelming and or annoying, hates animals/is rude to animals, can’t be independent, lazy

21. How was your day?

Good!

22. Favorite food and drink?

My favorite food is probably chicken or bacon cheeseburgers for meat, otherwise I love any sort of fruit. My favorite drink besides water (lol) is lemonade

23. What position do you sleep in?

Usually I sleep on my stomach or my side

24. What was your last dream about?

One of my friends’ sister was working at a Barnes and Nobel

25. Your fears?

Being betrayed, being lied to, everyone secretly hating me, being left alone, being forgotten

26. Your dream?

I want to be successful and happy with a good place to live and good friends

27. Your goals?

The same as my dream

28. Any pets?

Yeah, one cat named Sabrina

29. What are your hobbies?

Art, theater, band, choir, speech

30. Any cool places in your area?

I live in a small town, so there’s many unique things about it

31. What was your last awkward situation?

I was in the car at the local grocery store and someone I didn’t like parked next to me

32. What is your last regret?

My last relationship

33. Language(s) you can speak?

Only English, although I’m trying to learn sign language

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc. )

It’s very interesting so yes, I’d also like to learn more about it

35. Have any quirks?

I have synesthesia, the type where I can hear colors

36. Your pet peeves

Lazy people, people touching my stuff without permission, when someone keeps trying to talk to me while I’m listening to music, annoying loud people, obnoxious rude people, people who blurt things while someone else is trying to speak, people who think they’re better than everyone else, liars

37. Ideal vacation

Anywhere where whoever I’m with and I can do what we please whenever we please

38. Any scars?

A few from childhood and some more recent ones from self harm. I’m in a safer space and state of mind now, so there’s no need to worry

39. What does your last text message say?

I just signed up, did it work?

40. Last 5 things from your search history?

Marvel characters

Color block hoodie teddy fresh

Griz and Norm frozen

Everything I wanted lyrics

Kirishima shirt

41. What’s your device background?

42. What do you daydream about?

Movie/show scenes, memories, possible future outcomes, music

43. Describe your dream home

A house in the city with a bay window, an atrium, a claw foot bathtub, and a modern vintage look/feel, clean with nerdy decor

44. What’s your religion/thoughts on religion

I don’t have a religion because I don’t know much about it, but either way I don’t want to attend any holy services, because I’d like to prioritize other things. I do believe that everyone has their own rights to what they believe in, to me it’s like saying people should be able to eat, it’s common sense

45. You Personality type?

Campaigner personality ENFP - T

You can read about it on 16 personalities

46. Most dangerous thing you’ve done

When I was around 12 I flew with my brother alone on a plane

47. Are you happy with your current life?

For the most part yes

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life?

I’ve tried competitive dance, baking, hiking, and woodworking to name a few

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?

The usual stuff, t shirts, hoodies, jackets, sweaters, casual & fancy clothes, dresses, lots of shoes, jeans and leggings

50. Favorite color to wear

Yellow or blue

51. How would you describe your style?

Trendy nerd

52. Are you happy with your current looks?

Yeah mostly

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I want freckles lol

54. Any tattoos or piercings?

I have 4 lobe piercings, 2 on each side, and my left ear helix so 5 in total. I’m planning on getting many small tattoos and my septum pierced. Nothing drastic, all simple and small

55. Do you get complimented often?

Yes, almost every day with my hair and a lot with outfits

56. Favorite aesthetics?

Nature, vintage, character inspired

57. A popular trend that you dislike

There were these weird wavy eyebrows, not a fan 😂

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?

All of the Frozen 2 soundtrack, For The First Time in Forever and Let It Go from Frozen, Are You Bored Yet by Wallows, Amerika by Young the Giant, Maniac by Conan Gray, Come Around by Papa Roach, Same Damn Life by Seether, and Soarin by Bazzi

59. Song you wouldn’t normally admit you like?

I like mostly everything, so I would admit to liking mostly any song someone brings up

60. Favorite genre?

Pop or show tunes/ movie tunes

61. Favorite song/band/ genre?

My favorite song right now is a tie between Show Yourself and Into The Unknown from Frozen 2 or Are You Bored Yet by Wallows

62. Hated popular songs/artists?

6ix9ine, lil pump, artists like them

63. Put your music on shuffle & list first 5 songs

Prom Queen by Molly Kate Kestner

I’m Born to Run by American Authors

Holding on to You by Twenty One Pilots

Trip Switch by Nothing but Thieves

Swimming Pool Summer by Capital Cities

64. Can you sing/play any instruments?

I sing Soprano 1 and play Flute

65. Do you like karaoke?

Yeah!

66. Own any albums?

No vinyls or cassettes or DVD’s, it’s all on my Spotify lol

67. Do you listen to the radio? What stations?

I only listen to Spotify

68. Favorite movie/series?

My favorite movies are Frozen, Frozen 2, The Lion King, or any marvel movie past iron man lol

My favorite series are My Hero Academia, Voltron and friends

69. Favorite genre movies/ books/ etc.

Action, comedy, and fantasy

70. Your fictional crushes?

None lol

71. Which fictional character is you?

A mix of Elsa and Anna and Bakugou and Kirishima

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps if so

I don’t ship many things but I love Tododeku and Kiribaku

73. Favorite Greek god?

Apollo, Athena is my favorite goddess

74. A legend from where you live that you like?

There’s no legends where I live, but I like state legends like the legend of Paul Bunyan

75. Do you like art? What’s your favorite work or artist?

I like more modern artists, like ones on tumblr lol. These are a few artists I really like

@elentori-art @tecochet @cherriielle

76. Can you share your other social media?

I have Instagram, Twitter and the like but my Pinterest is maria_1820

77. Favorite youtubers

Colleen Ballinger, Joey Graceffa, Trainer Tips, David Dobrik, Molly Burke, Shane Dawson

78. Favorite platform

Everything but Facebook lol

79. How much time do you spend in the internet?

All of the time 😂

80. What video games have you played? Which ones your favorite?

I’ve played the sims and Mario kart and I like the sims more lol

81. Your favorite books?

We are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson and the My Hero Academia series

82. Do you play board/card games?

Not really

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?

Nope

84. Favorite holiday?

Christmas

85. Are you into dramas?

Medical/police/firefighter dramas lol

86. Would you use death note if you had one?

I’d like to say no but I probably would

87. What changes would you make in the world no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I would have everyone have a good house and money

88. (There wasn’t a question here so I made one up)What was your first word?

Besides mama, my first word was eat

89. If you turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?

A Phoenix

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?

I’d want my body donated to science

91. If you had to change your name what would you pick?

I like my name so I wouldn’t change it

92. Who would you switch lives with for a week?

Maybe a guy to see what it’s like

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo

🪐

94. Write 3 things about yourself + only one of them must be true

I love acrylic nails

I’ve never been on a train

I met Dan and Phil

95. Cold or hot?

Cold because I could put on a sweater

96. Be a hero or be a villain?

Hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Sing everything because I sometimes find rhyming annoying

98. Shape shifting or controlling time?

Shape shifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Immune to everything but natural death

100. Book or movie?

Both

[darkpoisonouslove]

3-7, 13, 16-17, 21, 25-26, 28, 30-32, 36, and 41. (If you're still doing ask thing.)

I’m doing it! Wow, you sent a lot of numbers. Okay XD. Let’s see.

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Totally witch of the forest but if you can also mix writing into that.

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

A body suit that covers everything and is made of very strong materials so that it won’t tear and will protect me from injuries (idk why the hell I would even need a battle outfit, I am not the type of person that goes well with battles). Also, def a headpiece to protect me from head injuries and keep my hair where an opponent can’t grab it and drag me by it.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I would be the goddess of forgiveness and people would have to sacrifice their anger and desire for vengeance to me because that’s the only way to forgive and heal.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Time to go through the quote tag, I see. It’s a good thing I’ve been collecting all those quotes. So idk what qualifies as iconic, but here you go - five quotes that make me feel things:

“I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody.” - Louis L’Amour

“Maybe it’s because I take everything as a lesson, or because I don’t want to walk around angry… or maybe it’s because I finally understand.” (I haven’t written down where this is from (pretty sure it was some TV show that I definitely HAVEN’T watched) but it does make me feel a lot of things)

“Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.” - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.” - C. S. Lewis

“Hurt people hurt people. That’s how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.” - Yehuda Berg

And a little bonus because I had this one in mind ever since the beginning but I got five before I managed to find it:

“She took a step and didn’t want to take any more, but she did.” - Markus Zusak

This really needs a cut:

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Scythes are cool, but I’m not sure how functional they are. I definitely do not get the trident as a weapon, and spears are not good weapons imo if they’re the only thing you have going into battle. Axes look cool but are a little bit brutal for my taste, I think (though, you’ll be killing people with all the weapons - it’s why they’re weapons!). I think I’d pick a broadsword. That would suit me best.

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

I’m a bit torn between cabin in the woods and a mansion in the suburbs. I think I would take a mansion on the very edge of town where there are as few people as possible.

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

I really love the look of Regina Mills’ outfits (from OUAT) because she has the dress aesthetic but the skirt is open at the front and she wears pants underneath so that she can ride horses and, generally, be more mobile than a normal gown would allow you to be. I imagine her outfits are also a lot lighter than typical gowns were throughout history. Idk, I really like how that looks. Also, I would love some floaty veils - they look so magical and dreamy.

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

A mermaid. God, what I wouldn’t give to be able to breathe underwater and swim with the sea creatures.

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

I think I’ll take the evening in the forest with elves. Though the vampires also sound kinda tempting tbh.

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

It is a fairytale and I do know how it was called but no idea how that will be in English. Anyway, the story was about a king with three sons who sends them on a quest to bring the most beautiful puppy they can find. They have one year to do that. The brothers set out on a journey together but reach an agreement to separate at the inn they’re staying in and meet back there when the year is up. From there on we follow the youngest son who gets robbed and lost and stumbles into a castle in the woods. The door opens but he can see no one. Only floating wooden (I think?) hands that lead him through the castle. Once he’s settled in, they lead him to the owner of the castle who turns out to be a white talking cat. For the next year he stays there and the two of them have all sorts of fun along with all the other cats that live there. At the end of the year, the cat reminds him that he needs to return to his father, and he gets mad at himself because he wasted the whole year and didn’t find a puppy. She gives him a walnut and tells him only to crack it open when he gets back to his father’s palace. He meets with his brothers at the inn and sees what beautiful dogs they’ve found. Meanwhile, he’s brought a dirty mutt that his brothers mock him about. When they go to their father, though, he cracks the walnut open and from inside shows up the smallest puppy that also dances. The king is impressed but decides to give them another task. He tells them to find the finest fabric that can go through the eye of a needle for which they have a year again. The youngest prince returns to the castle of the white cat and spends the next year with her again. Then she gives him… some sort of other nut (I don’t remember what it was anymore) and sends him back to his father. When he gets there, he cracks the nut, but inside there is another nut. And another. And another. Until finally there is an entire piece of fabric in the last one that actually does go through the eye of a needle. Everyone is absolutely shooketh, but the king gives them one final task. He tells them that they need to find wives in the next year and come back to him so that he can decide who will inherit the kingdom. The youngest brother returns to the white cat again and spends that year with her as well. On the last day of his stay she tells him that at midnight he has to cut off her head and her tail and throw them into the fireplace. He starts crying because he loves her and can’t do that but she tells him to trust her and do it. He does and she transforms into a woman. She is the princess of the castle but she and her whole retinue were cursed to become cats (I don’t remember why anymore, the backstory escapes me). He takes her to his father who pronounces him the next king but the cat-turned-woman-again says that she has a kingdom of her own and so they leave the kingdom to his brothers.

Wow, I can’t believe how much I remember from that fairytale. There must have been at least ten years since I’d last read it. Anyway, yeah, I adored that tale and my grandparents and parents weren’t happy about it because it was the second longest fairytale in all the books we had and I made them read it to me all the time. It was my absolute favorite. Damn, i wanna go search for the book and read it now!

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

A few weeks ago I saw a cat that had these eyes that immediately let me know that that cat could understand absolutely every word I would say to it. I do think that animals in general understand us but in a reading-our-emotional-state kind of way. Not in a I-totally-get-all-the-words-you’re-saying kind of way. But I’m pretty sure that was exactly what was going on with that cat. It was kinda weird, but not a bad weird.

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Ah, goddammit! There are a lot of Bulgarian sayings that fit my views on life but they’re not exactly translatable, y’know?

Treat people the way you want to be treated is one principle that I *try* to follow.

Forgive but don’t forget is another principle that I believe in (I know the original is forgive and forget but I don’t believe in that. And also, remember all those things I remember from that fairytale I haven’t read in years? You think I know how to forget things? I’m a lot better with forgiving, tho, I promise.)

Everyone deserves love is a hill that I will die on tbh. I know it sounds corny, but love is the one thing that can save people and I firmly believe in that.

Not exactly sayings, but close enough for me (hopefully for you, too.)

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

Ehh, I have no idea. It’s gotta be purple and black, tho.

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

Definitely splashing in a river with mermaids. God, I love mermaids.

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Voicing my opinion. I have literally zero respect for authority. If you’re wrong, you’re wrong and you’d better believe I WILL call you out on it. I don’t care if you’re god or whatever.

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

Eh, I don’t know. I really don’t want to be a queen. That’s too much responsibility that I could handle, but I really don’t want to. Can I write if I’m a pirate? If yes, then that’s settled.

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

This became long. I’m sorry if some answers are a bit sparse. I just really didn’t know what to do with some of the questions. 😅

[mistiedwagonfyre]

M(erry) Monday: Just Some Get to Know You Stuff...

So I got these from moonysmind so I should probably @ them... 

@moonysmind-blog

Ok, let's get this party started! 

1. Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

Blue if I'm writing something, black if I'm outlining a paper. But overall, black pens are my go-to just because I have more of them. I seriously need to stock up on blue pens... Also, who uses a red pen for anything other than corrections just because that's the way they've been taught? 

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

The Country. Or somewhere in the middle. I just feel like I'd be able to manage less people over more people and get to know them more personally. And, let's be honest, the country has gorgeous skies and sprawling fields and meadows. And it feels like you could take a deep breath and just absorb the atmosphere. 

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

Balance. It would help in everything because yours truly is a ball of clumsy fluff.

4. Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

Heh, I drink hot chocolate with marshmallows so...

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Anything I could get my hands on. I. Love. Books. My favorite series as a kindergartener was the Magic Tree House tho.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

Depends on my mood. Baths are for when I've got tons of time to just relax  and get my mind off things and showers remind me of rain and I love them too. I take showers more often but that doesn't mean anything.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

This is a hard one cuz I love all things mystical and magical... 

My immediate thought was a dragon but they get killed a lot in the myths and they're almost always stuck guarding something. Then I was like, ok then. What about a phoenix? So ya, I'd be a phoenix. Don't get me wrong, I'd totally go with all the mythical creatures and just cycle through them all, just if I had to choose just one it'd be a phoenix. Maybe, since I'd technically live forever, I could meet every single mythical creature ever. That'd be pwetty cool...

8. Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

Paper. It's what I've grown up with. I know, classy me. Also, there is nothing quite like the smell of a new book. Just sayin'.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

Punny t-shirts. All I'm gonna say.

10. Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

Yes. If I had to change it, I'd love to be Reyna or Luna. Otherwise, I'm keeping it.

11. Who is a mentor to you?

Mostly myself. I taught myself to draw, anyhow. If not me, my mom or my newest art teacher or my neighbor. 

12. Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

Yes and no. I want to inspire people (whether with art or my quirky personality) but don't want the pressure that popularity and fame brings. 

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

If being a night owl counts as restless, then yes. If being a deep sleeper when I am actually asleep doesn't, then no.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic?

Considering I like guys who are chivalrous and funny... yes?

15. Which element best represents you?

Water. I'm chill until all my suppressed emotions rush out. You can't hold back the ocean forever. And you can't prevent the inevitable: Me being weird. Just ask my sister, she thinks I'm insane (which is probably accurate). Also, I may seem shallow on the surface, but I can actually be very deep sometimes. I could go on and on about my relationship with water, but that's a tale for another time.

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

Everyone. I love strengthening relationships with people. It makes the group stronger as a whole.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

Always.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

I'd love too, but then storyteller Mistie will appear and this list will become infinitely longer. You'll have to ask me in my questions tab if you really want to hear one. 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

Can't decide which is weirder: Watermelon with taco seasoning or raw onion with mustard... Both are equally delicious in the summertime at a BBQ.

20. What can you see outside your bedroom window?

A ladder, some rocks, and a dead vole. My old room had a much better view... 

21. What are you most thankful for?

My Savior

22. Do you like spicy food?

Not particularly, no. 

23. Have you ever met someone famous?

Alex Boyé. He went to a really unsanitary restaurant before he came to our house one time and puked all over our newly waxed floors. I feel bad for him. Everyone but him knew not to eat at that runofthemill A&W on the way up. He still put on a mini concert for us tho and that was pretty considerate of him, because he did it even though he can't have felt like doing it.

24. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yup. I've got entries from back in kindergarten, amazingly. Granted, back then I wrote in pictures.

25. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Pencil. I'm human, I make mistakes.

26. What is your star sign?

Well, I was a Pisces. But then they discovered that there are more stars in the sky, just like there are more fishes in the sea, and just bunched a bunch of Pisces together so now I'm Aquarius. I'm still a Pisces at heart tho.

27. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

Crunchy. Better texture. Soggy cereal is oatmeal in my mind and if you want oatmeal, you actually make oatmeal, not let your cereal sit out for who knows how long. 

28. What would you want your legacy to be?

Legacy is a tricky thing. You've gotta know what people are gonna think of you down the line. I want mine to be simple: she wasn't afraid of who she was and what others would think of that. She was herself, and that's all that matters. I feel like that's the best legacy I could have for the future generations who will grow up in a world of trial and tribulation.

29. Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

ABSOLUTELY! I just finished Lodestar from Keeper of the Lost Cities. I shoulda read these books years ago but they're still fan-freaking-tastic! 

30. How do you show someone you love them?

I guess my love language is acts of service or whatever. So I'd probably serve them and do tons of sweet things for them. 

31. Do you like ice in your drinks?

No, it makes it all watery. Blegh.

32. What are you afraid of?

Lots of things. I just only realize when they come along and forget what they are afterwards. Sure, it may seem nice, but it makes the terror of coming into contact with them once more infinitely more terrorizing. But bugs are extremely horrifying. And so are arachnids.

33. What is your favourite scent?

Rain with freshly mowed grass and newly printed books at a campfire with Smores by the seashore. No one will ever be able to create this magnificent scent. 

34. Do you address older people by their first or last name?

Depends on how close we are.

35. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

Does this mean that everything is free? Well I'm gonna stockpile food and stuff and then ship them off to 3rd world countries. I'd try to save as many lives as possible. Or I could go there in person to deliver said goods... Yup. I've decided that that's what I'm gonna do!

36. Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

Pools have a veil of safety but the ocean is much more beautiful and alive. Also, the smell of chlorine is gross. And the taste. Blegh.

37. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

If it looks old and worn and dirty like it's been there a while, imma take it. Chances are whoever lost it has been long gone so I can actually take that $50 w/o feeling guilty. Otherwise I'd leave it there.

38. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

Heh, I used to wish on airplanes, satellites, and planets because I thought they were 'special stars'.

39. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

To be kind, even when it is inconvenient. I don't know how many times someone has held the door open for me even when it seemed much more convenient for them to just go inside where it is warm and just let me open the stupid door on my own. 

Maybe I'd teach them that even the smallest acts can have the biggest impact. One of the two. Probably both.

40. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

Heh, you're talkin' to the girl who doesn't want her ears pierced. No way in heck am I getting a tattoo.

41. What can you hear right now?

Music and the sound of my thoughts.

42. Where do you feel the safest?

In a book.

43. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

Darkness and fear.

44. If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

The one with Michelangelo, Leonardo, and all those other guys that the ninja turtles were named after.

45. What is your most used emoji?

It's not even an emoji. It is literally XD. Either that or (^^) 

46. What is your favourite season? Why?

Torn between winter (snow), spring (life coming into bloom), and fall (all the pwetty colors).

47. How would you spend your ideal day?

On a window seat during a thunderstorm either sketching or reading a book all wrapped up in a blanket. Preferably with a cat. Sipping warm apple cider or hot chocolate with marshmallows.

48. Describe yourself using one word.

Me.

49. What do you regret the most?

Not realizing certain things sooner.

50. Invent your own word. What does it mean?

Crushyblushy (adj. n.)

The general mannerisms an individual enacts around people that they like (specifically in crush and/or love situations).

syn: awkward, quirky, shy, blushy

ant: confident, flirty, aplomb, able

[tessatechaitea]

The Sandman Universe Presents: Hellblazer #1

I just want to see Constantine enter a Magic the Gathering tournament.

Bah! Always a debt do! PTUI!

Years of DC magic-users casting backwards spells and magicking up solutions to problems without a hint of "always a debt do" and then, suddenly, nobody can cast a fucking cantrip without paying out of pocket somehow. I get the "always a debt due" when you're dealing with demons or devils or some other kind of help from a summoned or black magic creature. But why the fuck must all magic cost something insane?! Just let Constantine do magic but occasionally he's got to deal with more powerful creatures or magicians who want something in return. Don't make him need to pay for every little thing he does. Something has eaten the sun so Constantine writes the word "Fuck" all over a decapitated pig's head. Can a head be described as decapitated? Isn't that the adjective for the body? Or does it only refer to both parts after separation? Anyway, you probably knew what I meant! I mean about the pig's head being separated from its body and not about how Constantine writing "Fuck" all over it will help return the sun.

Wouldn't be Hellblazer without the C-word. Although is it appropriate? I'm reading this prior to the watershed.

That's Chas's brief cameo in this new series. You might wonder how I know it's brief. Well, I read the next page where Chas dies distracting the evil monsters so that the super heroes can get the sun back. It's the quickest way for Simon to let the audience know that Constantine will do anything to save the world, even betray his friends. Plus he makes sure to say, "I've done worse for less," just to drive the point home. It's one of those revelations that would have greater impact over a long run of multiple different story arcs. But modern comic books don't understand that kind of accrued history anymore. Things have to happen quickly and in comic book shorthand, before the comic is cancelled. Plus, who wants to wait five years for sixty issues worth of history and characterization?! Spurrier knows Constantine has years of characterization and history already built up! Why not shove all of that into the first few pages of this new series and move on from there?! Constantine takes a bit of Chas's taxi cab shrapnel in the side and now he's probably dying. Sure, he could probably save himself by casting a spell that sends five babies to Hell. But first he has to find five babies! Instead, he just runs into young Tim Hunter from the past. John is all, "Oh, hey! Tim! Remember The Books of Magic? Remember Fairie? Remember how we all hated your stupid prat face? Anyway, this is your future and the bad guy ending the world is grown up you. Jerk." Tim Hunter is all, "That's me?! I wonder if I've been laid yet! Man, just think how much my older self's dick stinks!" Tim Hunter goes off to, I don't know, sue J.K. Rowling or something, leaving Constantine to die. But before Constantine dies, he's visited by old man Constantine. If things seem a bit crazy, it's because Constantine kept mentioning something about the world going mad or everything leading to madness or something that I didn't mention. But now I'm mentioning it so that all of this weirdness makes sense. Old Man Constantine wants John's soul in exchange for saving him. That's a pretty good deal, really! I'd totally go for it! Give up your soul to yourself way in the future? It's like putting it away for safe keeping! How the hell do you pass up that deal?!

That was my point! Take the deal, mate!

Constantine thinks Old Man Constantine is probably a Constantine from another universe and that there'll be some kind of catch. But he's dying and he doesn't have much time to decide so he takes the deal. That'll probably be important later! Old Man Constantine heals John, tells him to be the best John he can be, and then transports Constantine to some mental ward somewhere. Another universe without the sun being eaten? Maybe that was just the prologue to describe how Constantine leaped from the main DC Universe to the Black Label DC Universe. And now we can forget all of that Tim Hunter ending the world stuff that was so 1990s DC Vertigo weirdness. Now it's time for Constantine Unplugged! That just means he can say cunt again. Constantine manages to talk his way out of Ravenscar psychiatric hospital and discovers he's in modern London where Brexit is happening. Or not happening. Or not not happening? I guess we'll find out the next chapter of Brexit after the special elections. Go Labour!

Constantine having a bit of a philosophical thought about his own entanglement in a comic book ret-con.

I feel bad for comic book fans who need a moment like the panels above to justify comic book continuity. Who dreams of having some kind of solid, historical timeline without any errors throughout? Especially when your main characters never age. What the fuck do they want? Magic?! Anyway, I think Spurrier does the best he can here dealing with the audience he knows he need to fucking explain every little thing to. He's just putting it right out front: "Yeah, Constantine has a bunch of memories that don't mesh at all and he's now in 2019 and he's in his thirties or something and yes he was heavily involved in the 70s punk scene and maybe just get over it, okay? You're reading a funny book about magic. Grow the fuck up." Constantine finds Chas possessed by all the demons that meant to kill him years ago. He's dying of cancer from second-hand smoke and tells Constantine to fuck off and ruin somebody else's life. So John fucks off to go ruin somebody else's life. Or maybe to be a better version of himself. Or just to go drink himself into retirement. Sandman Universe Presents: Hellblazer #1 Final Thoughts: I guess this is the Hellblazer #1 prologue introducing the new series starting this week in Hellblazer #1. That's going to be really confusing for my image tags if I forget that I labeled these images "Hellblazer1.jpg" and such. If the scans in this review don't seem to make any sense, it's because you're reading this a few months on and I forgot about the image tags and reused the same tags for John Constantine, Hellblazer #1 coming out this Wednesday (but which I won't probably review for another week or two). Sorry!