#* replies to everything really late bc i'm an awful person *

[yesimwriting]

What happened with the film company???

I LOVE STORY TIMES

anons u are all i have i love u guys sm <3 anyways this is a bit of a rant so i added a keep reading

----

Okay so basically this began in DECEMBER, when my roommate and i first applied for an internship that was meant to take place during the spring semester of the 2023-2024 academic year.

after applying, I had to do two separate zoom interviews, which is fine and normal. The first interview was normal, but the second was with this woman who i'd be working directly under. my roommate had already interviewed with that woman and my roommate told me that she was harsh, so i was a little nervous.

i don't remember how this came up, but during the interview the woman told me that she didn't think it was going well bc she had blocked off half an hour for each individual interview but within 10/15 minutes of mine she was "bored" and i was like ?? bc if interviewing people is ur job it's not about being entertained? but i'd never say that so i asked her to elaborate.

this elaboration led to her telling me that i was perfect on paper, that she loved my resume, but she was worried about my personality. she told me that i didn't seem outgoing or comfortable. then, she was having so much fun digging into my personality that she talked over our interview time and then said "we've gone over time, that's a good sign, you really turned this around."

then when she logged off i cried to my mom about how awful i felt about my personality and who i was as a person :,)) THEN she still called me to give me the position anyway so she bullied me for no reason.

after that, the internship's start time kept being changed. Sometimes they'd give me an estimated start date, other times they'd vaguely imply a time period that i could start during. at one point, i thought they forgot about me so i reached out to ask if the internship was still happening. eventually, they told me that bc of certain issues, they were cancelling their spring internships but they would be happy to have me over the summer.

THEN during my first zoom meeting, the woman who was meant to walk through everything was almost an hour late to an online meeting. when the woman finally met with me, she couldn't offer me a lot of vital information because the person who usually does internship basics was out of town.

they're also so obsessed with their zoom meetings, i asked if we could clump two private meetings together bc the second, general meeting doesn't apply to me bc i haven't been able to start any real work, they refused.

and today i've gotten some of the most passive aggressive emails of my life bc i assumed i was supposed to be doing more work and they didn't like that i was working ahead--but they still want me to work a certain number of hours a week!! they also got mad at me bc i didn't answer an email fast enough and i haven't been using 'reply all' to every email i send bc i didn't want to spam everyone.

also the craziest part is all of this is unpaid, like if i'm not getting paid, the least you can do is not have an attitude.

[ahundredtimesover]

omg i didn’t think you’d answer my ask HAJSHSJSKS cue the kilig feeling 🥰 everything i know about basketball, learned unwillingly cos of my kuyas and tatay who changed the channel whenever there was a san miguel/tnt/lakers ateneo game PLUS they made me watch slam dunk din so every time yoongi mentions that my eye twitches cos *war flashbacks to when i wanna watch my cartoons*

but i’ve come to terms with the trauma EME 😭 jk lang it actually helped when i started writing for my uni’s publication and covered basketball games. sa uaap, i’m also really a fan of admu kahit di ako atenista HAHAHHAJSKSJS and yes that doug kramer clutch—one of the highlights of the entire uaap tbvh. i can’t imagine witnessing that LIVE. iba na rin uaap ngayon eh. (and ph basketball in general. sad na wala na yung hype masyado which i’m not surprised at all given how problematic the players are like???? sighs. toxic masculinity ew—theory q lang naman tho)

your writing is AMAZING pls like i’m not even kidding. you’re seriously one of the best writers across all platforms bc you can truly see and feel the effort you put in making your stories and dare i say you also don’t make your audience feel dumb (i can make a whole other 10-page essay about this PLS pero wag muna) and respect them by creating all these nuanced and character-driven stories (which is SO hard to find). i’m rereading “a still day or a hurricane” as a law girlie now 🥺

i hope the stories never stop forming in your head and i hope you experience so many great things in life that will inspire you to continue writing for many years to come cos who says there’s an age limit in writing fanfics???? 🧐 but also don’t forget to take care of yourself, ate mimi (yie ate 🥹). stay hydrated in this god awful heat!!! baka dumalas ako sa inbox mo i’m SORRY

- coj 🩵

Hiii I am here! Late to reply but I'm here! And lolll a usual story! It often starts with the men haha. My dad was a huge fan, too, so our TV always had basketball on. But I've come to love the sport even as a spectator! Whereas you've come to use it as a journalist nakkssss 😌😌 hahaha but true. PH basketball is sooo different now. I think it's also the culture. I can't even keep up with the conferences and the players and stuff. Nice to know my UAAP heroes are thriving but it's just not the same.

As for your lovely words... THANK YOU. 🥹 I'm such a context person in that I like exploring the why's of people - why they do what they do and say what they say. It always comes from somewhere, and a lot of it is fear. It's such a human feeling, so is desire. But I love writing about love, too, and that itself is complicated and beautiful. And I know it's just fanfic but it's a way for me to kind of release all these reflections and insights into the world and I'm just happy you're able to connect with these very flawed fictional humans! There's a little of us in them for sure! 💕

Lol sometimes I wish the stories would stop bc I won't stop thinking about them! I literally have scenes and dialogues written up for stories that idk if I'll ever get to actually write but yeah, hopefully there's energy and inspiration to match the ideas. One day I’ll probably have a “scenes from stories I’ll never write” post 🥲🥲

Pls stay cool and hydrated! Be safe always! 💕💕

[septembersghost]

been thinking a lot about our occasional bcs exchanges and wanted to ask you: what do you personally think about "gene" in 611 and 612? because, at least to me, they really tried their best to make jimmy even worse than he was in brba – and saul was veeery bad already. it's probably just my pov, but it felt like they were trying to convince us that he deserved thoss 86 years in jail and i can't wrap my head around it, because this kind of "morality" was never the point of this narrative universe. it's totally a me thing, but i look at jimmy going crazy after the phonecall (and i am not talking about the anger outburst which is very jimmyTM, i am referring to everything he does after that) or thinking about killing marion, and it rubs me the wrong way, i can't help it. he was always flawed and became an asshole and did awful things, but like that? never. and i just... i don't get it. not saying i am right, because i am emotional and have a hard time being rational, so i am 99% wrong tbh, but is it really agency if everything a character does seems like a excuse for the plot to go in a certain predetermined direction?

i know we've talked/lamented about kim and the erasure of her agency and how crushing the treatment of her as a means to an end felt (and i could rant/cry about the mishandling of her and why it feels particularly terrible forever), and in a couple of replies you've mentioned jimmy too, and i'm sorry for being so awful at responding to things lately, because i swear i read everything you say like this:

i don't think you're wrong, but if you are, we're wrong together, because i completely agree.

my problem with everything that happened after point and shoot was that, not only was it rushed, it suddenly *felt* like writing. what i mean by that is, so much of the strength of the show was in how organic each development felt for the characters, how real it was as part of their journey. even when something was devastating or violent (chuck's death, mike and werner, nacho's fate, etc), it felt utterly honest for the story. of course that had to happen. fun and games is where this breaks for me. kim fidgeting in court only to announce she's quit the law feels written. the breakup scene...i desperately tried to understand that at the time, but it feels this way too, manipulative towards us as the audience in a way the show simply wasn't at other times. and then we get plunged into the gene storyline and very little of it makes sense (the stealing from the mall mishegoss remains incomprehensible and inconsequential lmao), but perhaps the more grievous aspect is that it doesn't matter. you could skip from the saul jump at the end of fun and games to him being caught at the beginning of saul gone and very little fundamentally changes because none of the wheel spinning in those episodes served any purpose to me, *except* to vilify jimmy. this then becomes a failure of plot - why does he need to be taken to this extreme? we know saul did despicable things, but also that certain lines weren't crossed, why go so far here? and the only answer is: to try to justify sentencing him to 86 years in federal prison, with no hope of parole (sorry to peter, who somehow doesn't seem to get that this is the reality of such a sentence). it's maneuvering pieces for a determined outcome, rather than fulfilling characters' arcs more naturally. "gene" ends up feeling more like a split personality than another mask over jimmy (you could easily argue he has a complete psychotic break in waterworks). kim is silenced.

a further problem then becomes, okay, if they needed to prove to us that jimmy could sink that far, they needed to do that in abq, before the full saul descent, show some worse nadir in jimmy himself, but they didn't because we, and they, loved him too much to go there. jimmy does many bad things, but keeps coming back from the brink. then we have an episode where he does the most unselfish thing he could do in being willing to die if it means kim escapes safely, and no time to process or recover from that, or see the two of them attempt to do so, before breaking them up. i know they described this as continually breaking him and stripping things away from him and kim leaving being the final catalyst, but it doesn't sit well with me because there's no room for it to develop, it's just a swerve. he goes from the most empathetic moment to utterly devoid? and then unfortunately they're boxed in by breaking bad and they couldn't concoct a more unexpected way to approach those parameters.

"is it really agency if everything a character does seems like a excuse for the plot to go in a certain predetermined direction?" exactly. and, sure, everything is written to take the plot to a certain place in a story, but we shouldn't be able to feel the seams of it and question its integrity.

what's unsettling to me is they spent six seasons humanizing jimmy and showing his vulnerability and exposing the heart underneath the colorful suits and the mask, only to then take us to a place where i have legitimately seen people interpreting him as worse than walt. which is insane and the wrong conclusion, but that shouldn't have been open for debate (much like i hate how certain audience members can now so easily blame kim for everything and claim she betrayed him - it's wrong, but can i see how they arrive there? yeah, and that's troubling). you can't undo character development like that in three episodes and have it feel right. those last few episodes undo them. we only have the shared smoke scene to reconcile it.

"this kind of "morality" was never the point of this narrative universe. it's totally a me thing, but i look at jimmy going crazy after the phonecall (and i am not talking about the anger outburst which is very jimmyTM, i am referring to everything he does after that) or thinking about killing marion, and it rubs me the wrong way, i can't help it. he was always flawed and became an asshole and did awful things, but like that? never. and i just... i don't get it." say that!!! one of my biggest problems with this is the moralizing aspect of it. brba never fell into that trap, and maybe you could argue it should've been ~morally~ harsher to walt and jesse (although, objectively, it's extremely dark, it's not necessarily about moral judgment so much as it is about consequence, fate, and transformation). walt dies, but he dies on his own terms in a blaze of glory. jesse's imprisoned and tortured, he'll carry those scars, both physical and soul deep, but he escapes. it doesn't hinge on moralizing at us in a literal sense, it's rather what you said before - this universe was never about balancing morality and choices with the justice system. it was about balancing those choices with yourself, those you love, and those you hurt.

the balance doesn't come, because jimmy and kim never even have a conversation. she is powerless and voiceless in the unfolding of these events. he only gets her to show up by making it seem like he might turn on her. and i know they talked about synthesis, i fully understand and appreciate the reclamation of his name, but (at the risk of belaboring this point, because I've mentioned it before), there's no reconciliation or middle ground here. saul lies through the truth by putting the weight of everything on his extreme trauma, jimmy then negates this altogether and give himself more credit than is even due for the heisenberg empire, and the depth of his trauma isn't acknowledged. it's unbalanced. it's seven cushy years at club fed or 86 in supermax, like...this show was so beautifully nuanced only for them to literally and figuratively end in strict black and white? there's a puritanism to it, and the ways in which jimmy and kim are "punished," that's unsettling. it's meant to be tragic irony - the lawyer who mocked the system is the one who will spend the rest of his life in jail - but feels clashing somehow to the more humanistic (and even mythic) elements inherent to both shows. it's not even that it's antithetical, i get what they were aiming for, but the purpose and heart of the story isn't ultimately served for me. and so much of that is due to the lack of space it had to breathe, and the rushed decline and whiplash manipulation of the characters, jimmy particularly.

this is long and i don't even know if i'm answering you properly or running in circles because this is what it's been like in my head for months. it's tormenting. i miss our show so much, it was my favorite and i still consider it a genius piece of television and an artistic triumph from the creative standpoint of the acting, the cinematography, the majority of the writing, but something fractured so badly for me by the end. i miss having more insightful/deeply felt thoughts about it, i miss its magic, and i miss the sense of comfort that it gave me, even in its tragedy. i know you understand that, and i wish i could help us reclaim it. when we'd say bcs is a ghost story...it haunts me, but not in the way they intended.

[maxanor]

Ah, I am sorry that I did not manage to reply to that last ask. I shall just continue our topic of horror films and say: i also love everything james wan does (aquaman do not interact), he's a fucking genius and my favorite horror film maker!! did you see his newest film, Malignant? Cause I loved every second of it. Also what's your favorite horror film made in the past few years? (like in 2020 onwards). (and to answer your question very late, my favorite colour is red)

also I also love playing around with blending. I have a lot of fun when I make like color isolated sets, and lyric sets seem to be a lot of too, with lots of typography. Also, I feel you so much, I've also had a giffing block for the past couple weeks. I think the only set I've made was a simple one from a random movie just to try and get some creative juices flowing, though that didn't seem to work much haha.

And I agree, I always have more fun making gifsets if the goal isn't to get notes. Like yes getting notes and validation is great, but that's not the goal. the goal is to have fun and be creative, right?

What are your favorite songs/albums to listen to while you gif?

- psc anon

omg no problem!!!! and no i haven't seen malignant! like i said, i'm not super into supernatural/paranormal horror films but i might have to check it out anyway just for him! honestly i have such a bad habit of watching movies years after they come out, so i unfortunately haven't seen that many in the past 3ish years...the only ones i can really think of are spiral: the book of saw which i watched right when it came out since i was really anticipating it, and then i recently watched X which was really fun. i have a list of about 70 horror movies (i counted) that i've been meaning to watch but it's slow going. i've also been meaning to go see nope but i'm not a huge theater person lmao i really only go out to the movies a few times a year bc i just prefer to watch movies in bed snuggled up with my cat. do you like going to movie theaters for the Experience or do you prefer watching at home?

i loooooove gifsets with typography, i'm always in awe at how beautifully people are able to play around with text effects and stuff like that, bc that is absolutely not something i'm good at sdfjhgds

i'm more the type of person to watch shows while i'm gifing then listen to music. sometimes if i'm in a particular mood i'll throw on a playlist (normally the same 12 hour playlist that i always listen to that has a bunch of different genres on it) or if a new album has just come out by a popular artist i'll listen to that (i've been listening to sabrina carpenter's new album a bit over the past few days). i love procedural crime shows so i'll throw those on, like i was recently rewatching criminal minds and then i also just started a law and order rewatch (of the original version, not svu) just bc i've seen both those shows multiple times and i'm already familiar with most the episodes, since i'm not paying close attention while i'm gifing. what about you? what do you like to listen to while you gif? do you have any music/artists to recommend?

[000png]

Omg yes!! There are cc who just make stage gifs always and I'm like at awe with how not only do they like, make them really crisp but can make them different colors than usual like huge respect!

Oohh yes! Adding some text can make a set look a bit fancy because not only fun coloring in whatever style but add some cool looking text and you're good. Ngl I went through like 13 text packs from one person and had fun picking them out and playing around with them! Coloring is super fun! I kinda figured what my "style" is, Granted its not consistent coloring (which I have no clue how to do lol) but nonetheless, it be enjoyable. Some stuff I am limited since whole photopea is great, it doesn't use a timeline which I think is key to many aspects of some gif making tricks (some you can do but you need to do extra steps. Others not so much) seeing how much you have grown makes me feel proud! Like look at you!! I bow down to you

Jzjajdjsjsh oof, I now always save my gifs when I at least make colorings because then I can at least have that if the program crashes. BUT YES TO THST! idk if it is because I am stubborn or what, but once I am committed with an idea I keep going until I tried everything lol. If it flops, it flops lol but oohhh will do! I may pop in and send a message to you *sips tea* but also, happy late holidays to you love!!

also with the framing???? i saw a tutorial floating around about altering the gif to actually follow the person but it seems like so much work i can never ajdlfkjadsf if jun keeps going out of frame so be it </3

yeah!! idk if i have a specific coloring style either ajfkdlj it changes every few months. and ahhhhhh yeah i haven't tried photopea myself but ya know for it being free it's pretty nice! and thank you hehe you as well excited to see where you grow with gifmaking <3

yeah unfortunately with like. everything crumbling around tumblr LMAO you really gotta just make gifs for the pure enjoyment of it bc honestly what's the point otherwise ajfldkdjasf at this point i'm like idrc if my set flops, i made it and that's what matters :D

and it's the last day of 2021 (at least for me as i'm late replying to this ask ajfdkldjf)!!!!! happy holidays and new years to you and hope 2022 treats you well <3333333

[starkerdayss]

Gang AU where Peter is part of Tony's rival gang and Pete is kind of like their prize twink if u know what I mean, so Tony just takes him into an alley and fucks the actual b r a i ns out of him as a symbol of his dominance over the other gang?? U can change the prompt to make it better too bc. I'm not the best at this sjdhsksjud

(Peter is exactly 19 in this, warning for slight gun play and well, exhibitionism. My work is meant for adults and its written by an adult)

Peter knew that being the youngest in the gang wasn’t good. Was he proud of himself for getting his own little ass into that situation? No. But there was nothing he could do now. 

The small, brown leather jacket adorned his back with a phrase and a symbol of a cut off head that was hard to forget. ‘Shadows’

Peter barely knew how to ride a bike, like a regular bike, and now he was riding a motorcycle, hanging onto the handles for dear life, his too-strong-for-a-teenager cologne abusing his nostrils to the point he felt sick. Sick and late. Every single gang member was ahead of him, and Peter was just trying not to break any more laws than necessary, stopping at the stop signs and trying not to look around at the people he knew were staring. 

When he finally got there, the other gang members were visibly annoyed, waiting for him with their arms crossed. Peter only walked fast, thanking whatever was in the sky not to have gotten there after the other gang. 

Before one of his camrades could say anything, the all too familiar roar of a motocycle filled the air. They were here. The Phalanx. 

When the oppostie gang got out of their bikes and walked towards them, Peter gulped. He knew what was happening, but not everything that awaited for him.

Tony, the gang leader, walked like he owned the place, a cigarette hanging loosely on his mouth, his entire figure looking like he just fell from heaven. He was glorious and Peter was in awe. The only reason he allowed himself to be this awestruck by that man’s power, was that nobody was paying attention to him. Steve, the leader of the Shadows was standing in front of them, smug look on his face that nobody could see but everyone knew it was there. 

“So we meet again, Tony” exclaimed Steve, something bording a laugh coming out of his mouth. Peter gulped again when Tony took one last pull from the cigarette and threw it on the floor, stepping over it and then exhaling. 

The two gangs had been fighting since Tony’s dad and Steve’s dad created them. Both too powerful to coexist in the same city. Peter knew this because it was public knowledge, because everyone was scared of them. 

“So we do” replied Tony, sending shivers down Peter’s spine. His voice was buff and exhausted, like he had been screaming for the past forty years. Peter had to physically restrain himself from walking towards the man. 

“I hear that you want peace” muttered Steve, looking back at his fellow gang members and smiling. “We’re willing to arrange something if you’re willing”. Peter’s camrades laughed, Peter knew he was suppossed to laugh as well. He didn’t. 

Tony nodded and turned around, flashing the black leather jacket with an axe and the name of the gang displayed on it. He looked at his camrades and smirked, every single one of them giving the smile back. “It’s time we collide and rule this city”. He turned around again, taking a look at Peter, who lowered his head, feeling so overpowered.

“What makes you think I didn’t already rule this town?” 

Tony laughed and looked down. His pants were black and dirty, making him look really buff and sexy. “Let’s not fight, Stevie” and then he ran his tongue over his lower lip just as Peter had the brilliant idea to lift his head. He had to lower it again, blushing. “Let’s make peace and we can each stay at their side of town and rule. Any problems and we meet”

Steve nodded, smirking, gloating in glory. “Pick your prize” he mumbled and moved aside when Tony stepped further. “I’ll pick mine” and then he disappeared between the lines of Tony’s men, looking for god knows what. 

Tony wandered around Steve’s men, all of them giving him a nasty look, the women willing to move forward if they had to. That’s what gang life was all about. But Tony never even looked at them, he just slowly directed himself towards Peter, the only one that wasn’t giving him a nasty look. 

“What’s your name, sweetie?” asked Tony, getting dangerously close to him. 

Peter swallowed thickly and looked up at Tony. “P-Peter, sir” he answered, his camrades laughing at him for calling the enemy ‘sir’. 

“Are you new?” 

Peter nodded, images flashing through his mind, all of Steve’s man and women passing him around, doing whatever they pleased with the boy, but not enough to wreck him, just enough to rough him up a little bit. 

Tony nodded and then whispered, making sure nobody heard him: “Did they hurt you?” 

Peter shouldn’t have answered. Shouldn’t have said anything. He knew he was hanging by a thread. He was new, he didn’t have Steve’s trust just yet and he whined so much at the ‘rough up’ that everyone considered him a weak ass bitch. Peter didn’t have any other way to mantain his sick aunt. He needed the money. 

“No” he said, this time no ‘sir’. He wasn’t about to make the same mistake again. Tony nodded and pulled a box of cigarettesm, offering one to Peter, which he rejected. His aunt was dying of cancer, he wasn’t smoking. Ever. 

Steve re-emerged from Tony’s lines with a girl following him, she didn’t look scared, she didn’t care, really. Tony saw him and smirked. “I see you’ve chosen Peggy. Be careful” he said. 

Steve scoffed. “I’m always careful with the ladies” and everyone on his lines laughed. Tony laughed as well and looked at Peggy. 

“I wasn’t talking to you. Don’t rough him up too much, Peggy. He has a pack of stray dogs ro run”. She laughed and grabbed Steve by the arm, yanking him closer and walking towards his lines. Steve looked upset. 

“Did you chose your lady yet?” he asked. 

“I chose, yes, but not a lady. I want the boy” 

Peter ears perked up like a little dog, his head yanking up at the name. He wanted what? Who? What for? Where they switching sides?

Steve frowned, then looked at Peter, who looked awfully worried. This was going to be the final test before fully accepting Peter into the gang. Steve nodded. “Take him, then. She’ll be back by midnight. I expect him back at midnight as well” 

Tony didn’t even answer, just took Peter by the arm and got him on top of the motorcycle as all of his men got on theirs too, then turned to Peter as the shadows left. “Hold tight, baby boy, it’s gonna be a long ride” 

When they got to their destination, it was almost eight pm, and he was shaking so much he was more trembles than person. Tony got off the motorcycle and waited for his men (and three women without Peggy) to go inside before turning to Peter. 

“Did they hurt you?” he asked again, taking Peter by the waist. Peter knew what was happening already and he didn’t know what to do. 

Peter rolled his eyes. “I already said no” 

Tony apparently didn’t consider that an answer, so he backed Peter up until he hit the wall of the building, putting a leg between his thighs, pressing at his crotch as the denim light of the street light made them both glow with a pink shine. 

Peter moaned slightly at the sensation. It didn’t really matter how much he wanted to appear strong, Tony was every single one of his dirty dreams personified. 

“Don’t sass me, boy, I’m the leader of this thing. You’re barely even nothing” he hissed, licking a stripe up the boy’s cheek, licking his prize, licking every part of sensitive skin he could find, wanting to mark him like a dog. 

Peter didn’t mean to give in so easily, but he loved it. He nodded, spreading his legs further, wanting to get more friction from him. Tony undid Peter’s pants so fast the boy had barely any time to register it, before his pants were on the floor alongside his boxers. 

Tony looked down and smirked, a small laugh leaving his throat. “You’re rock hard, you fucking slut. I haven’t even touched you” whispered Tony right into Peter’s ears. Peter let one tear fall from his eyes. He couldn’t believe how humilliated he felt, specially being almost complitely naked in the middle of an alley. 

The man unzipped his pants, revealing himself to Peter, who swallowed again, the mere sight exciting him more than he thought was possible. 

“I’m not gonna be gentle” he warned, his eyes turning a very dark shade of black. 

“Then don’t” whispered Peter, his voice cracking slowly as he felt the thick fabric of Tony’s pants rouch his bare skin. Tony just smiled. 

It was almost midnight when Tony was going back to Steve’s side of town, Peter was in his back, drooling all over his jacket while Tony made his motorcycle roar. 

“You okay there, darling?” 

Peter only produced a sound, his body giving up, hugging Tony from behind, his limbs numb, and images of Tony fucking into him until Peter’s eyes rolled back and not only tears but drool were all over him crossing his mind. 

He didn’t even realize when they got back of the house Steve and all of them shared. Tony got off the bike and helped Peter back up on his feet, holding him by the arms. The boy was practically falling asleep on him, not being able to feel his own legs. 

Tony let him in the door and before knocking, he looked at Peter, putting his face close and kissing him slow and sensually. Peter only could kiss back. 

“Call me if you wanna switch sides” and after winking and slapping his ass, Tony disappeared on his motorcycle. 

Peter only stood there. 

Holy fuck. 

[fbwzoo]

(1/?) Anxious about pets anon here! Thank you for your reply, I adapted all your tips and already feel better :) In my first ask I almost talked about my situation sounding a bit hoarderish but didn't to keep it short but I realized I prolly should've! So I'm gonna explain myself a bit better now that I'm calm, I'll try to keep this short but I have a tendency to ramble so I apologize for the length in advance. Also gonna call myself 🌱 from now on since Anxious about pets anon is a bit long!!

(2/?) Normally getting two geckos and turts in a couple weeks is definitely a red flag and if I saw someone do that I'd definitely side-eye them. I do not support getting so many animals this fast at all which is why it freaked me out so badly and it's something I never want to do/experience again. I find preparing and caring for a new (species of) pet for the first few weeks very stressful to begin with, so doing so for multiple species simultaneously with little to no warning has been awful.

(3/?) However the reason I ended up in the situation at all was because I had seen a post online about a leopard gecko that was for sale enclosure & supplies included for fairly cheap, so I opened it for fun. Turned out the geck was actually in my area and the set up was not... Very good. So I talked with the seller and came to the conclusion I could take him as my own leo struggles to keep up with the phase my feeders breed anyway so I had the means to do so

(4/?) All is good, I'm getting a leo (picking him up this weekend). No biggie, except oh no. I find a morph of created gecko I have been looking for & I've had an empty set up waiting for this moment for ages. I'm a bit put off by the timing as I don't really like the idea of buying two pets in such a little amount of time, but it's too late for I have fallen in love and I justify getting him bc I've been prepared for this for a long time and it also happened to be my birthday that day. 

(5/?) Still, took a bit of a hit from it and looking back I would still classify it as an impulse buy as I had not expected to run into the crestie that day even if I had been prepared for a while. This has also been the first time I haven't waited 12+ months between purchasing animals which planted the seed of anxiety in me and the word "hoarder" did cross my mind a couple times but I ignored it, mostly because I knew I'm not one and thought it was silly to think that, but also cuz it scared me 

(6/?) Fast forward a few days I'm talking with the leo seller again. I ask why they're getting rid of it and they tell me they're quitting the hobby so they're rehoming everyone. In curiosity I ask what other animals do they keep and we talk about it for a bit till they say "everyone else already has a home except this baby turtle, no one wants him". I have no interest in getting a turtle, but like a fool & out of wanting to be educated I ask about the species as I'm not very familiar with turts

(7/?) I thought I made it clear I'm not going to take him before the chat but as the 'educational' convo went on the seller was actually picking apart my reasons why not & as pets are a special interest of mine I engaged very enthusiasticly w/o realising. At the end of the chat they said "I'm glad they're both going to a good home". I had missed two of my latest therapy sessions & have severe difficulty telling people no so I replied with "I'm just trying to help" & had a panic attack.

(8/?) It was too late to back down now so I'm getting a turtle. But with that what I was getting as well was more anxious and I spent the next day in bed, which helped. I opened up about it to a close friend, and instead of them reassuring me they told me they've been meaning to ask me if I could take a tortoise (that turned out to be a turtle as well) out of their friends hands. I said Im not sure if this is the right time, and my friend asked me to think about

(9/?) I ask my friend why does this turtle need a home anyway, he tells me the owners travel a lot and that the turtle is loved but neglected. I felt sad. My friend knows how I'm gonna react if someone comes to me directly to ask for help, especially if it's about a suffering animal. I grind my teeth & talk with the owners telling them I'll see what I can do, then I get a text telling me my friend has already made a plan how to deliver the 100g aquarium to my apartment.

(10/?) Even when I may not have wanted the turtles I'm glad if I get to make their lives more enjoyable. I will give them my everything and do my best to provide a good home for them. Tho it does hurt me my discomfort is secondary to other people when they know I will agree to things as long as they apply enough pressure, especially when I'm already vulnerable, but I suppose it's my fault too for not communicating well enough and for allowing them to take advantage of my difficulties

(11/11) Sorry this turned out a LOT longer than expected!! You don't have to post it I just wanted to let you know I didn't just wake up one day and decide to expand my family by half, but that it was more of a gradual process that I found myself unable to stop even when I wanted to, & will work with my therapist so I can be prepared for these situations in the future. Thank you again for the advice, it has helped me feel better! Ps. I will update when all the pets are here and settled down! -🌱

I hope you don’t mind me posting, I wanted to share your story with others, especially in case anyone was still worrying about the situation!

I’m sorry that you had so many people stomp all over your boundaries, especially your friend. That was super not cool of them. :/ I understand having difficulty saying no, especially when you’re wanting to help animals - I have issues with that too. I’m glad that you’re so aware of the problem & that you have a plan to work on it though!

Also I wanted to add one more bit of advice - keep in mind that you do not have to be the forever home for every one of these animals. Especially if you find yourself getting overwhelmed or having difficulty with care. You have to take care of yourself as well as the animals. I know turtles can be a fair amount of work and money to set up well, and while I know you said you’re up for the challenge, I just want to make sure you give yourself some room to breathe. If you do find that you’ve taken on more than you can deal with, it’s okay to look into options for rehoming some of the animals, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. I can definitely vouch for the experience of finding yourself in over your head & needing to take a step back and find a better place for a pet, even when it’s really hard! I know these words might not be necessary, but I just wanted to make sure someone said them, in case you needed to hear it. ♥

Thank you for the update and further explanation, and I hope everyone settles in well! I look forward to more updates if/once you’re able to do so. :) 

[kyunsies]

MADCH MADCH <3

hello fam - I've had a weird day, I'm super happy I can take the time out to reply to you. always thinking of you though, I hope you're always having a great day. today's been a bit of a non day - a family member has to deal with operations and that's on top of me too so i've just felt a bit winded in life?

YES to you finally conquering that damn cold! do you feel properly replenished now? omg i hate sore throats too - okay i hope this doesn't give you nightmares but when i was a kid i saw a documentary about this terrible disease that manifests at its worst a bit like alzhemiers but it can hit anyone of any age and for the majority of people who get it... one of the first symptoms is a sore throat and i have literally lived in terror of sore throats ever since. but luckily it's a very rare disease. so basically, yes, i understand you.

OMG you know when you're like eight and you don't want to sleep and you're like no i will adult and stay up and it will be glorious - i'm like, CHILD YOU FOOL you could have gone to sleep XD and ugh no responsibilities?! i remember working most of the time when i was a kid and i kind of wish i had wreaked havoc? what was your childhood like? did you get to do lots of fun stuff? i know my mum wishes she had been able to spend more time with me when i was a kid and i'd like to have a family and i'd love her to be able to relax and just spend time with her grandkids? OMG well when you come to europe let me know and then i can show you around and give you a hug in person!

so we're mainly cofe here though cahtolic culture is still big and honestly i'm with you. like religion can be a great influence on you if it's not used in nefarious ways and can help you learn so much - like even if there are things you don't end up agreeing with at least you learn about then so you can make a choice for yourself as opposed to not really knowing anything? agree - people that are really boastful totally put me off, i just can't deal with it at all. but you're right, like it makes us so so hard to forgive ourselves for anything right? like, even if we've done nothing wrong and we shouldn't have to punish ourselves? like i swear i'm apologising for everything haha XD once someone pushed me off the tube and i ended up apologising like ON REFLEX? hasjdkahds XD but i really hope you have people around you that keep bigging you up too! if not i will keep bigging you up :D :D so you know that you are worth it.

i'm sorry you're not looking forward to your final year of uni! think you're almost there though - like this is the final stretch and you'll have like conquered everest you know?! and even if your landing at the end of it isn't as perfect the fact you landed at all means so much and that means you can stand up again and keep going! day at a time and moment at a time you know? i kind of had this moment today (hence my wierd day) when i was worry about everything and i literally sat there like - have i made the right choice and done the right thing and surely i've made the wrong choices in my life and do i actually have any talent cause if not people would actually like my stuff and i had to just be like... a moment at a time sometimes you know? like, just bit by bit and don't sweat the stuff you don't have to? idk i find it hard to do but i hope that helps you - like you'll surmount every little thing bit by bit and before you know it you'll have made it! you were born ready you were <3 <3

TINY SQUAD IS GO! the pant dilemma is truly a massive issue, like IDK how to deal OMG OK SO LAMPSHADING is like when you do big baggy like tops and then like leggings or tights or something skinny on the bottom so... you look like a lampshade? like i guess it makes you look cute and then also it's such an easy way to dress without worrying if you look like a kid that's wearing your mum's clothes?? ahsdjakdhsa XD

AHHHH YES BASIL ME TOO!! what scent did you end up buying? i'm sure it was lush - are your parents near you or is it like a massive special occassion to get to see them? YES agree with your take on musk though! like it feels like idk, something a 50 year old with a cigar in a stuffy country club would wear? like, there's no energy to it but not in a chill mellow way either??! like even if i was going to a dinner thing I would still rather not wear something musky? like i'd still rather it be something a bit sweeter? also like some musk perfumes can be SO STRONG? like i'm like - my nose is choking on this perfume XD

YES BLUE MOON SQUAD AAAAA it is literally one of their finest ever, it's always stayed on my top faves list by them. like ugh yes to the lofi stuff sometimes i just wanna VIBE and be in my feels but not so much i'm too angsty but enough that I'm FEELING feels ya know? what did you think of kiss or death? it really wasn't that kind of vibe but yh i hope they do more lofi jazzy stuff - also cause like not a lot of korean groups play with that sound a lot?

hello mädch's mom as always! nerer apologise for being late, always just happy to hear from you and i hope you are super super well and looking after yourself first and foremost! more than anything <3 (also i take ages to reply too ya know and omg this is so so long ahsdjakhdaskjdh)

love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxxxxxxxx

ANGEL ANGEL !!!!!!!! <3 i know i'm really late to this LKDFJS i've had such a busy week getting some overtime in and then visiting my grandparents' house so i didn't really have a lot of energy to reply to all of this BUT IM HERE AND i can finally give u a good response <3

firstly is your family member okay??? i hope so ;____; how was the rest of your week, and how was your weekend angel? i hope u were able to enjoy your weekend and that everything is okay in the family <3

but YEAH my mom and i are over the stupid cold ;_____; i hate colds,,,, they last way too long lol like i say i know the flu is a little more serious than a cold but i would rather have it for a day or 2 than being stuck feeling lousy for a whole week :( ALSO SLDKFSJDFKLJ OH GOD SEE we are both hypochondriacs ( that's not the best trait to have as a nursing major lol ) but tbh i'm really curious about this rare disease ????? :o sounds really scary tho goodness gracious i wonder what it could be ;____;

also god i was always awful at staying up late as a kid LOL but i know what u mean !!!!!! honestly there was only one time i can recall i had a sleepover with my friend in like the 3rd grade and we tried pulling an all nighter so i think we made it to like 5am but i had to go to bed omg i felt like such garbage LKDSFJ </3 it's just funny bc like as u get older u realize that staying up late is really nothing special and if anything u feel like a train hit you the next morning and adults are so sleep deprived as it is we just *try* to prioritize sleep SLDKFJSDKLJF :') you worked a lot as a child bub?? what kind of things did you do? i didn't start working until i was 15 bc most places here don't allow u to work until this age (unless you're in a family business i guess lol) but all the jobs i had in high school i hated so much ;_____; but my childhood? i would say it was relatively normal LOL like we say all the time i've had a single mom so life was really stressful for her but i always felt loved <3 i always had my mom <3 and we took trips to the beach with my family every year, it was our little tradition !! i went to san diego to visit disney, you know little trips here and there !! and then when i got into my sport and i started getting older my mom and i spent a lot of time and money investing into my sport so most of my weekends consisted of a lot of tournaments and driving far away for me to compete :') i do remember when i was really young like in kindergarten my mom's work was really far away from my school and we had a recital ; i was the "host" where i would introduce all of the songs and stuff and my mom didn't get off of work until like 6 and by the time she made to my recital, it was over :( she told me she cried a lot that night :( i don't remember her doing this (i don't even remember the recital all that much lol) but now that i'm older and i understand more about adulting, i'm sure she was so devastated thinking about it now :( anyways about visiting europe LOL I WILL DEF GIVE U A CALL AND LET U KNOW SO U CAN SHOW ME ALL OF THE COOL PLACES <333333

and about the religion ....... yes ;____; i think it's a great thing if a family decide that they want to do this when they're families; i hope to continue to practice it (even tho we aren't regularly going to church at all hhhh gotta work on that) but there is something about catholic guilt specifically that just makes it soooo hard to like, be easy on yourself? but ,,,,,, i guess it keeps me grounded :( in a self depreciating way ??? LDSKFJ I KNOW U UNDERSTAND ... it's weird for me to put into words ;____; and YEAH :( i think i'm getting a little better at this but i used to apologize all the time for things i never needed to be sorry for hhhh (still do) :')

and yes babe honestly i'm really terrified to start uni :( i think i have this weird anxiety issue i've had it ever since last year but i don't know why i'm so scared and anxious about things that haven't even happened yet ;____; are u like this too? is it normal? i wish i knew :( i guess i won't really feel better until i have made it to graduation, but i just want to do well this year. whatever i do, whether it's exams, or clinical rotation or my preceptorship, i just want to do well ;____; i don't want to do poorly, i want to make my mom proud and i want to work at a place i'll be excited to work at, and most of all i just want everything to work out ,,,, i wish someone could just sit me down and say listen i know what you're going thru is hard but you CAN get thru this and EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS bc no one in my family is in the health sciences (besides my cousin who is studying to be a doctor but she doesn't give a shit about what i do lol) so ;_____; yeah ,,,,,,,,,,, lots of anxiety and apprehension of the unknown :(

LSDKFJSD FOKAY NOW I KNOW WHAT LAMPSHADING IS LMAOOOOOOOOOOO yes i wear those clothes on lazy days LOL the thing is i'm really picky about the length of my oversized crewneck sweaters hhhh the can't be too long bc if it goes below my butt i look like i'm wearing rags LOL so i have to be careful :') but most days i do like, reverse lamp shading lDLKFJSDLKFJ i like wearing flowy pants with a more tight top or like baggy jeans with a tighter shirt or a blouse i can tuck into my jeans LOL but omg its so funny i didn't know what that was :') thank u for the explanation my love <3

OKAY BUT HALF THE REASON I DIDN'T RESPOND IS THAT i was saving this weekend to go to the jo malone store in my mall and !!! I GOT A NEW SCENT AND I'M IN LOVE WITH IT SO MUCH BABE ;____; you have to go smell it if you go there soon and tell me what u think !!!!!! it's called wild bluebell (here is the scent description lol) but the guy behind the counter helping me was soooo amazing and helpful like they really do treat u the best at the store and AH i’m so happy with my purchase <3 my wallet isn’t so much LDSKFJ but nonetheless i know i’ll have it for a long time :)

KISS OR DEATH !!!!! i actually really enjoyed it lol i have seen some ppl not really like the rapping so much but i loved it ;____; i’m super biased obviously LOL but gosh i thought they were all great and minhyuk + hyungwon killed the song for me <333 wouldn’t expect anything less from our monstas !!!!! and my mom is sending her love lol i tell her the work u do and she’s always wondering how ur doing :(((( same for my moots she always asks me about 2 in particular LOL she’s always asking me <3 i love u so much bubbie !!!! iM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE MY LOVE again i always just want to give u a quality response <3 i love u the absolute most and i hope u had a great weekend !!!!!!! this is my last week at work before i have a week long break before i head for uni so :’) can’t believe i’ve done all this LOL :’) i will be happy to hear from u whenever u come back hun !!!!! TAKE CARE LOVE U <3 

[jungsungchans]

they are so strangely charming sddsdsdd the things they do on insta..... 😳 admittedly idk what a marb is i'm sorry 😔😔 he's so weird tho and yet somehow everything he does is endearing??😭 yes a revecarablinkzen!! great name💖 ahh i love mingyu he's so funny n cute!! and minghao's style... absolutely insane💗💗💗 omg itaewon gate was truly smth else💀 -❄ (1/3)

YES that was the candymakers!!! tbh i barely remember the book i had to google it lol but yes that's the one! oh i haven't read any of jorge luis borge's work but i'll check it out thank u for recommending it to me!! and tbh i get it haha i don't have much motivation to read books nowadays :// i did like all the light we cannot see.... but i read that back in 8th grade whoops i also think the great gatsby is so well-written but f. scott fitzgerald was NOT a great person 😕 -❄ (2/3)

i was into poetry recently tho.... i really love le lac by alphonse de lamartine!! do u like poetry? or what else do u like to do in ur free time? (besides making amazing gifs ofc!! i can't believe i haven't mentioned this before but your gifs are stunning!!!💖💖) btw i'm so sorry for the late reply, i hope you're doing well!! -❄(3/3)

god their insta shenanigans 😭 ive seen their old lysn screenshots they r so funny it physically pains me. by Mark Barb i mean like a barb but for mark—idk if uve ever come across them but the barbz are nicki minaj’s fanbase. im not a proper barb bc im critical of her for obvious reasons but the barbz are maybe the funniest fanbase of all time the barbzstruggle twitter brings me joy sometimes....but the point is that i love mark a lot i think hes fucking fantastic <3 mingyu is soooo great i like him a lot i can really see why he n jaehyun were in a gc together 😭 they both r massive dorks...and back when i was into kpop and minghao was my bias he still had that poodle hair (mansae era ish) so seeing him when i got back into the grind was 🥴🥴🥴 to say the least! i love him and his closet id raid it if i were tall enough lol and im gonna r0b his shoe collection anyways. itwgate changed my brain chemistry btw ☝🏽

😭 i only remember it cause i used to read every book i remotely liked about six or seven times...not like consecutively but when i ran out of new things to read id cycle between older stuff. did u ever read the candy shop war? that was my favorite candy-adjacent kids novel lol. tbh jlg’s stuff is really easy to get into bc a lot of his work is super super short id highly recommend it if ur trying to get back into reading (he writes poetry too!)! ive been really bad about reading well recently too...i liked the great gatsby but i read this side of paradise and that was super disappointing lol. i didnt know he was like. an awful person but i kind of figured given his time period ig? while theres a real imperative to not just blindly say “separate the art from the artist” because that allows one to ignore, internalize, and platform racism, misogyny, anti-semitism, and other forms of bigotry (cf jk rowling) i try to read just about everything i read critically, because no matter how any author presents themselves i feel like theyre just as likely to be a bad person as any other artist or celebrity—actors, musicians, etc.

i used to be more into poetry but i havent picked up too much in a while </3 we had a poetry unit in ap lit during quarantine that was kind of not fun and so i was like🧍🏽‍♂️lol. i’ll definitely check out that poem though, i enjoy the stuff and itll be good to get back into it! for fun i like sports—i watch hockey, my main blog, @henderyhuangs, used to be a hockey blog lol. seasons starting up soon so im looking forward to that. i like basketball and reading too. thank u for thinking my gifs r ok 🥺 thats very nice of u to say 😭 todays been very all over the place haha but i hope uve been safe and well. and take ur time w sending these, just do em whenever u want im not picky haha. ik i just wrote you a whole essay, its probably not ideal to have 2 go thru this long ass message and try to respond 😭 so i totally understand. hope you’re well too! take care.

[diegoismyson]

Oh my god, that fictional world anon was a genius. I'm a huge slut for two things: dio and real people in fictional worlds. Tonight I will combine both of them. Headcanons or scenario for pb dio straight up being smittened with this mysterious new peasant girl that starts working at the mansion and as the years go by he begins to notice strange things about her. Why is she so friendly towards Jonathan but cold towards him? Wow she knows a lot of stuff before it happens? (1/2)

(2/3) As the years go by, he just starts to really fall in love with her? And she starts to open up to him bit by bit? She stops being tense around him and doesn’t straight up reject his advances but doesn’t accept them either? Then after several years and Mr. Joestar is being poisoned and the Mask is found, everything changes. She KNOWS and Dio doesn’t know how she knows but too late fate takes it’s course- She rejects him in full even though they definitely love each other

(3/3 last one for real) Its the “final battle” (of course she knows it isn’t) and she decides to go to Dio’s castle because she knows this ISN’T the end and she has to do SOMETHING. To make sure she still has some influence over the story. Dio let’s her in. Does she tell him the truth?

i think im gonna try my hand at a scenario bc this is deserving of that and i feel like writing tonight 👀

under the cut purely for length

   ~mod blake

When a new servant shows up to help tend to the joestar estate, Dio thinks nothing of it; they get new servants every now and then but it’s still nothing to bat an eye at. However, Dio notices that this new servant acts strangely, she is all sunshine towards Jonathan but to Dio, she turns a cold shoulder. Sure, the servants are always kind to Jonathan since he’s nearly impossible to dislike but Dio is used to others being vulnerable to his charms. Because of this, Dio starts to develop an interest in such a unique person. Someone that can see through him is so strange, Dio even has both Joestars fooled yet this simple servant girl knows better.

He starts following her around and asking her questions, under the guise of wanting to learn more about her but the girl just gives him clipped answers and almost sneers at Dio. This is one of the most frustrating things, having to appear kind while wanting to snap; how dare she disrespect him, Dio?!

As the years go on and Dio starts sneaking around, she always knows exactly where to find him and Dio is further intrigued by this, why does she know so much? Once she had even chastised Dio for something he was about to do which mystified him to no end. She makes him want to learn more about her, his curiosity getting the better of him as he approaches her time and time again.

Today, the servant is fixing some books Jonathan had left out in the library when Dio says, “only a witch would know half as much as you do yet someone so refined as yourself could never be one, despite your enchanting looks. Care to share how you seem to be so omniscient?”

She stares at Dio, as though picking him apart before replying, “and why would you care about it?” in her typical harsh tone. She continues doing her work which annoys Dio, someone so lowly should know their place and give him their full attention.

He puts on his most charming smile, “come now, there’s no need to be so cruel. I have shown nothing but kindness to you, have I not? The last thing I’d want is to offend you so tell me if i do so.”

“Your lies amuse me but I’d appreciate a little more honesty from you,” she scoffs as she finishes cleaning and begins to walk away.

Taken aback, Dio goes after her and continues asking the servant questions of why she believed he was lying, wanting to pry the answers out even more than before.

Time passes and the two grow closer but she never tells Dio how she knows so much. Eventually, she does begin relaxing, her eyes softening when she turns to Dio and her voice taking on a gentler tone as well. Dio finds that her allure has only increased as they age and begins flirting with her in earnest, telling her that he’d give her his world for only a kiss. She’d always laugh and say maybe one day but Dio was taken with her and the feeling of warmth was new to his heart, which had been neglected for so long.

It’s when Dio is poisoning George Joestar that she begins to get distant once more. She seemingly avoids him, and when Dio turns his head only to find her staring at him with apparent disgust, he feels dread weighing down on him. There’s no way she could know what was happening, Dio had covered his tracks all too well but the seed of doubt had been planted in him and he was worried; he was worried that she would tell someone, he was worried of what she knew, but most of all he was worried that he was going to lose the love he had worked so hard to acquire.

Then the day comes, that fateful day where Jonathan would finally catch on to Dio’s doings, but he doesn’t know that. The servant girl he so loves does though and pulls Dio aside, with eyes wide.

“Dio, I can’t take this anymore, I can’t stand by and let you do something as despicable as this,” she gestures to the medicine he’s taking up to his adoptive father and Dio realizes exactly what she means. Once more she knows of this, just as she had known countless other times of everything Dio and Jonathan had gotten up to in their youth.

But Dio keeps his composure and knits his eyebrows together, “but I’m doing my best to tend to the man that saved me from poverty. These doctors nowadays are only after money so we have to help Mr. Joestar as best we can.”

“Cut it out. I know you’re poisoning him just like you did your own father. You have to stop this now or I can’t promise anything’s going to work out.”

For once in his life, Dio is at a loss for words and simply says “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I will never love you if you can’t change.”

Upon hearing these words, Dio feels something in him tear and pauses for a second. This was what he feared most and now what can he do? Ultimately, he brushes the servant girl off and continues on silently as though no words had been spoken at all.

It would only be later that Dio learns of the letter she had tucked away to expose Dio to Jonathan and thus extend George’s life even if only by a little bit. After this, all contact with Dio’s former love is cut off. He can’t stand it and so only becomes more merciless in an effort to keep his hurt at bay.

Later, as Dio is preparing to have his final fight and face his dearest brother Jojo in battle for the last time, he hears a commotion at the front of his castle and goes to investigate. The mindless vampires he creates are good guards but they’re absolute halfwits when it comes to anything that takes more than two brain cells. 

When he arrives, Dio is greeted with a sight he never thought he’d get to cherish again. The servant girl who had won Dio’s heart is standing there, practically daring his guards to come forward as she stares them down.

He laughs, half amused and half in disbelief, “so, you couldn’t resist someone so perfect as I, Dio?”

She rolls her eyes but still gives him a smile, “I came to… talk. That is all.”

“You came many days’ ride and through my vampires just to talk? It must be something dire in that case,” Dio grins with all the warmth of a snake, “follow me to my quarters then and leave these creatures behind.” And with that, Dio turns and confidently strides back to the room he came from as she follows.

Along the way, Dio feels his heart begin to race, he hadn’t exactly been subtle about where he hid but once again this seemingly simple girl surprised Dio with how easily she navigated and got to him. Had it not been for the hordes of his undead, she could very well have waltzed into his room by herself. Right now though, he was trying to calm himself once more as he turned to let her in and shut the door behind.

She stood just inside the doorway afterwards and stared unwavering at Dio, “I don’t know how much I can tell you but I need you to trust me.”

Dio’s laugh is mirthless and his reply to her request is, “speak first and we’ll see if the devil has your tongue or not.”

She takes a shaky breath, “Dio I know- I know what I said what feels like forever ago but I didn’t come here to make amends. I just wanted to warn you that this fight with Jonathan might not go as you plan.”

“Oh? I see your all-knowing nature hasn’t failed you and while I must thank you for the concern, I assure you this fight is well under my control.” With these words, Dio can see a fire alight in the servant girl’s eyes. Those eyes he had once admired for being so soft only become more enticing with her resolve.

“Dio you know I know more than I let on and I need you to hear me out. I know you will lose, I know your body will burn, I know these things because I’ve seen it all. I can’t tell you how but I want you to at least have some inkling of what’s to come.”

Dio thinks for a second, her words are true as always and seeing her again is something he could only have dreamt of so he decides to trust her, saying “fine then. Tell me more.”

And with that, she spills as much as she can without telling Dio what exactly will happen. She doesn’t want to give him a total rundown of what’s to come but at the same time she fell in love with this ill intentioned, fiendish man because of those rare times when he shared his true self with her and she could see the person he could’ve become if he hadn’t been in such poor situations. When she was finished sharing all this with Dio, he only nodded and thanked her.

As she turned to leave though, Dio stopped her to say, “I promise I’ll find you when this is over; like the rose to sunshine, I cannot help but look in awe of your radiance. However, this time it’ll be my turn to speak with you. Now find somewhere safe to go until this is all over.”

[ffxvhoe]

omg requests are open again??? i'm so happy 🙌🏼 could i possibly request a little something for aranea and/or cindy and their s/o? maybe something fluffy like morning cuddles or date night or something more spicy like making out or a morning after scenario 👀 lmao i am gd w whatever honestly bc my poor bi heart is just..... so thirsty for content for these ladies..... 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 thank you!!!! have a great day 💙

combining with: [clenches fist] there needs to be more cindy x readers… where are the lady lovers in the writing community, my lesbian heart is in need. so might i request some cindy x fem reader with cuddles and soft kisses? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 

I come bearing sapphic gifts

The room was dark save for the few candles that burned away on the nightstand.  The window in the room was open, the warm night air causing the curtain to billow like something out of a movie.  The wind carried with it the smell of cooling sand, wildflowers, and the coming of rain. The atmosphere of the room alone was enough to lull you into the land between the waking and dreaming.

But then of course there was the hand on your bare back, drawing gentle patterns with its calloused fingertips.  You pulled your gaze from the open window – the starry skies beckoning you to come join them and fly away to a land where anything was possible – to look at the woman beside you.  Her hair was sleep mussed, sticking out at odd ends in the most endearing way.  Her brilliant blue eyes  dusted with sleep as she stared off into the distance, thinking, losing herself to the inner workings of her mind.  After all, the night was the perfect time to let your mind wander to every corner it could.

Your own hand was settled on Cindy’s stomach, just as unmoving as the world seemed to be this late at night.  Your legs were tangled with Cindy’s under the mess of sheets that adorned the bed and your lower bodies.  You could feel each curve of her leg, the muscles there not quite as prominent as the ones that lined her arms and back.  There was naught up a whisper of space between your entwined bodies.

Your eyes stayed glued to Cindy’s profile, unabashed, as she turned her head to look down at you. “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

“You,” was your reply. You would have said more but the look on your face spoke every unspoken syllable.  You’re the most exquisite person that I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.  If home were a person, you would be mine.  I don’t deserve to have you, but damn am I thankful to every Astral in existence that I get to call you mine and be called yours in return.  

“You’re so beautiful,” she murmured, lips coming down to press gently to the top of your head.  

“I always knew you only liked me for my looks,” you said, tone playful as you scrunched your nose.

“Didn’t I tell ya I was the most shallow gal in Hammerhead?” Cindy’s following laugh was like bottled sunlight, spreading warmth in its wake.  It was easy to join in with her simple joy, your own laughter coming to join with hers in a melody of true happiness.  “I mean it though,” Cindy continued once the laughter in the room had died down back to a comfortable quiet.  “You’re more beautiful than any rose or new car, and lucky for me that beauty ain’t only skin deep.”

You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks at her words.  Accepting compliments had never been one of your strong suits, yet Cindy always had an arsenal full of words to build you up no matter the situation.  You turned your head to hide your face in the crook of her arm, reappearing once you had calmed your racing heart.  No matter how long it had been, no matter how use to her you had thought you’d become, she always managed to make you feel like a school girl with a crush again.  “I love you,” you whispered, a dopey smile still gently gracing your features.

“Really?” She asked, feigning surprise.  “Well I’ll be, I never woulda guessed.”

You couldn’t contain the small snort you let out at her theatrics.  “Are you planning to go into acting?”

“Depends, do ya think I’d be any good?”

“Oh most definitely,” you replied, nodding your head with conviction.

“Well I guess I oughta tell Paw-Paw I’m movin’ t’ the big city to chase my new dream.” As you listened to her speak you smiled to yourself.  Her southern accent always became that little bit more pronounced when she was tired.  It was beyond endearing and you could easily listen to her talk for the next age.

“You won’t forget about lil’ ol’ me will you?” You asked, eyes wide with mock worry.

“Of course not,” Cindy replied.  “How could I ever forget the face of the gal that’s won my heart?”  She moved out of your arms to come hover over you just the slightest bit, her chest coming to line up almost perfectly with yours.  She ghosted her lips over your own, and you rolled your eyes when you felt her smile mischievously, teasing you with her almost-kisses.  Bringing your hands up, you cupped her cheeks and brought your in for a true kiss.

Kissing Cindy was always a strange mixture of new yet familiar.  The way her lips moved against yours was familiar, but the tone of the kiss was always new.  This time the kiss was painted with lazy admiration, her lips moving languidly against yours.  Her breath still held the fading mint of her toothpaste.  You could smell the shampoo she used as the ends of her hair tickled your forehead.  This kiss was late night drives and easy conversation.  This kiss was two people finding a home in each other and accepting everything within.

Cindy finally pulled away, chest heaving slightly as she gazed down at you, nothing but awe sparking those crystalline eyes.  “Now that’ll never get old,” she said softly.  Pressing her lips to yours once more, this kiss a whisper of what the previous one had been, she whispered, “I love you, darlin’.  So much.”