#*plays song on repeat while drawing*
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crystallizsch · 7 months ago
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“If all it is is eight letters Why is it so hard to say?”
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“If all it is is eight letters Why am I in my own way?”
SCREAMS.
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kiwiandmint · 6 months ago
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Perfect Night
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From chapter 504
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mellioops · 1 year ago
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Dancin’ in tumble town
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siribunbun · 7 months ago
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"I'm putting down the bet. I'm taking the gamble. I'm claiming the win. I'll let fate spin the wheel, a daring gamble. Walking the brink of death...for rebirth.
All for the Amber Lord!"
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hotmcrodz · 1 year ago
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sorry guys I just had to get this out of my system
Edit: Sorry I meant FORMER nepo baby
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faezebee · 2 months ago
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Quick birthday wip for myself:)
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skunkes · 1 year ago
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losing my mind at spotify putting sam smith on my top artists solely because I listened to that ken song like 300 times
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dykethevvitch · 2 years ago
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"Oh my drunken southern star
How you tried to hide in darkness
Slipped from orbit
Now you’re dangerously close" (Southern Star by Gregory Alan Isakov)
~
"I always wanted to die clean and pretty
But I’d be too busy on working days
So I am relieved that the turbulence wasn’t forecasted
I couldn’t have changed anyways" (The Last Words of A Shooting Star by Mitski)
~
youtube
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epicthemusicalstuff · 5 months ago
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Yall get me-
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Storm is one of the most underrated and amazing songs in Epic for the sheer emotions you feel at the music. Prove me wrong.
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loveanddeepsecrets · 3 months ago
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Domestic + Intimate Headcanons Pt. II
An impromptu two parter of me just spitballing (Pt. I for reference). This started out as a cutesy mini headcanon post for Raf’s bday, but quickly grew into hyper specific romantic scenarios and wishful thinking. It’s still probably clear who my mains are 😭 but I did my best to showcase the humility in all LIs
⤠ Disclaimer: I’m quite happy with the intimate headcanons from my initial post and truthfully couldn’t expand too too much without basically repeating myself from last time. So with the exception of Caleb, there’s a bit less spicy bullets this go-round :/
⤠ Tags: 18+, MDNI, *slight spoilers depending on affinity level or personal progress in main story +myths, fluff, mostly gender neutral, but written with an afab + fem!reader in mind
⤠ Word count: 2.1k (mostly proofread)
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Xavier
SFW
✧ Eats the raisins you pick out of the trail mix
✧ Always draws stars next to your name when writing you letters/cards
✧ Bookstore dates. At every visit, you pick one of your favourite books to read for each other
✧ After begging him tirelessly to teach you a song, *any song* on the piano, he mischievously chose ‘Heart & Soul’
✧ Saves every voicemail/voice note. He often replays them to stay sane on dangerous solo missions 
✧ On top of that, he made a bunny plushie version of you at one of those 'Build-A-Bear' type shops and used one of your voice notes . He sleeps with it on nights he can't sleep with you
✧ Sprays more cologne on his hoodies knowing you love the scent. He also thinks the extra spritz of fragrance will ward off other men since he knows you borrow his clothes. It’s his silent way of marking what’s his
✧ Loves making you blush. He didn't get enough time to court you in the past timeline on Philos, so he seizes every opportunity to (quite effortlessly) rizz you up to see your flushed expression
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✧ [canonically makes bolder moves to see how you’d react —secret times lvl 165]
✧ Game head. He gets a bit of an adrenaline rush if you do it while he’s online
✧ Doesn’t give not one shit about how loud you guys are. He probably prefers sex on the couch on the off chance Charlie might be passing through the hallway
✧ Though I still think he’s pretty quiet, he becomes a bit of a whiny mess when you’re edging him
✧ A gripper. Grabs on your ass during cowgirl, your chest during missionary, your hips/thighs during doggy, etc
✧ Sprained his neck from holding your hips down and guiding you when you sat on his face. It left him smirking throughout his recovery. Every painful twitch was a pleasant reminder of a job well done 
✧ Has the fastest pace ot5. He moves at lightning speed when batting wanderers, so he probably moves at a back breaking break neck speed while inside of you 
✧ After rewatching the 'No Restraint' card on YouTube… *sweats* he’s got magic fingers. I’ll put it like this and move on: firm, tiny circles 🫠
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Caleb
SFW
✧ 10+ hours long face time calls
✧ Would actually be pretty decent at the claw machine if he wasn't such a massive cheater
✧ Utility man. He's your personal chauffer, home chef, alarm clock, umbrella, trainer, handyman, and so on. He strives to be the perfect emergency contact
✧ Has definitely seen those videos of couples trying to recreate yoga poses and had you try with him (would probably cheat using his evol)
✧ Bounces his leg if you scratch that one spot on his head when you play with his hair
✧ You always end up sitting on his lap when cuddling watching tv or reading peacefully together 
✧ Holds pinkies more often than holding hands
✧ Super athletic and adventurous dates i.e. zip lining, skydiving, paragliding, kayaking, hiking, etc. He’s patient, encouraging, and talks you through the scariest parts of the activity and rewards you with several kisses in between telling you how brave you were
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✧ Hands down has the roughest sex regularly ot5
✧ Mile high club
✧ Orgasm denial + overstimulation 
✧ LOUD, TALKATIVE, and MESSY 
✧ Sloppy eater
✧ He expects a sloppy eater in return. Is probably the type to grab your head and start guiding you when he’s close 
✧ Ik I said Xavier was bossy, but this man? His gravity evol? His colonel position? CONTROL FREAK
✧ Likely has the biggest “Sir” kink
✧ While I do think he aligns slightly more with booktok Sylus, I can’t see where degradation would fit with their dynamic. You’re the very thing he wants to shield and protect. Why would he degrade what he cherishes?
✧ On the softer side, he’s the type to melt into your touch. There’s true devotion in his eyes (and heart) when you’re making love
✧ On the days where he’s not rough, the sex is more sensual and almost tantric 
✧ Will always find a way to be physically closer to you during the act. Whether it’s putting his forehead on yours, burying his face in your neck, hugging your waist, or simply holding hands 
✧ You both probably cried (happy tears) after your first time. Being intimate felt like a confirmation from the universe that you knew each other more than words could express. There was no trial and error, you just knew 
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Sylus
SFW
✧ Hot air balloon rides
✧ Monogram matching robes
✧ Secret fan of game shows. He thinks they’re hilarious— or in his words “highly amusing”
✧ Bought you a birdhouse + birdfeeder for your apartment after he noticed you birdwatching on the last date 
✧ Purposely chooses horror films on movie nights on the chance you’ll hold onto him and hide your face in his chest. He’ll laugh and make some remark about being hurt that you’d use him as a shield, but will hold you tighter and soothe you later in the night when you’re too scared to sleep
✧ Random slow dances. In the kitchen on the nights you make dinner together; in his study while music emits from his record player; in the bathroom, sleepily swaying side to side while lazily brushing your teeth 
✧ Whenever you're holding hands, he often aimlessly draws random shapes on your ring finger
✧ I think all the LADS men have a default position they fall into when getting close or snuggling up. For Sylus, it’s resting his chin on your shoulder. It’s the perfect place to capture your scent plus, he can hear and feel your heartbeat. Of course he’ll playful bite or nuzzle into your neck, but he rests his head there because it’s most familiar and comforting to him and his old dragon form
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✧ Road head 
✧ Mile high club
✧ Eye contact 
✧ Has a secluded sex dungeon even Luke & Kieran don’t know about
✧ Due to the nature of his job, I don’t think he’d engage in explicit sexting. Too many people on his case and has probably dealt with his fair share of hackers. If one of your messages/photos/videos leaked anywhere, it would be the end of the N109 zone and the world as we know it 
✧ That being said, if he wants to make home movies, it’s done with a vintage film camera to ensure the utmost privacy
✧ More of a grunter and groaner than a moaner. The few times he does moan, is when he’s buried between your legs
✧ I actually think he’d be into role play. He likes how you always keep him quick on his feet in your relationship, and will often humour and indulging in the change of pace. He’d like this even more in the bedroom
✧ Chuckles to himself and humours you whenever you suggest 69ing bc he knows you’ll inevitably just lay there with his dick idle in your hands, while you whimper on top of him
✧ Stamina coach. His methods for overstimulation are twofold. While he loves the state of you withering and coming completely undone, he also does this to help you expand your limitations and enjoy each other for as long as he can go. I already said he’s a pleasure dom, but he’s a pleasure dom with a purpose
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Zayne
SFW
✧ Botanical garden tours
✧ Couples ice skating during the holiday season 
✧ Uses his surgical skills to patch up injured plushies [x] 
✧ He may or may not have added an extra rest day or two in your doctor’s note to Jenna so he can spend more time with you. He’ll deny it and insist you need the additional rest, and who better to take care of you other than your doctor?
✧ There’s something about the way he holds your hand that’s sickeningly sweet. Gentle, slightly cool to the touch that warms up quickly, with loving caresses
✧ Surprised you to a dessert degustation for your anniversary. Each dish is a highlight of the standout desserts you tried over the year
✧ Occasional late night strolls along the river. He passively recalls scenes from the western dramas you watch and (successfully) tries skipping rocks
✧ Enjoys exploring artistic outlets with you. Often suggests different workshops to try i.e. stained glass studios, culinary classes, candle making, terrarium building, etc
✧ A bit needy nowadays. To experience a love he never knew he could have, makes him hold your hand a little more tightly, hug you a few seconds longer and kiss you twice as many times as he did before
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✧ Much like Sylus, he’s also big on eye contact (when he’s in control)
✧ Literally the cutest thing ever when you go down on him. He’ll keep his composure, and lustfully tell you what he wants, but gets so flustered and stuttering as the pleasure builds and he gets close
✧ Truthfully, I don’t like to compare Zayne and Caleb all that much, but the love making between you two is also very tantric
✧ If you listen to the way he kisses you, it’s pretty similar to how he eats you. When completely drunk off your juices, it’s like he’s breathing you in. There’s a desperation to his licks and kisses, feening for the taste of your nectar
✧ He’s also the type to spell out his name with his tongue over and over again. Think of it as a spell. He needs to hear you call to him
✧ Incredibly patient. Foreplay isn’t some tit for tat curtesy thing, it’s important to him. He’s less of a tease and more methodical. "Relax into my arms. No, I'm not bullying you. I need you to come for me again. You should always warm up before stretching, and I don't want to hurt you so please, come for me love. Can you do that for me?"
✧ A stickler for clear communication. You must speak in full complete sentences. It’s not enough to say just say “Please.” What exactly are you pleading him to do?
✧ Slight exhibitionist. He’ll never allow you to get caught, but likes the challenge of finding the quickest ways to cover your mouth— using his hand, tie or lips to stifle your moans
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Rafayel
SFW
✧ Hates going in hot springs, saunas, or jacuzzies. He’ll say he feels like a boiling crab
✧ Asked to keep your first completed sketchbook that are filled with many one on one art lessons with him
✧ Can’t sleep if some semblance of you isn’t with him. Will literally drag or carry you to the couch so he can take a nap. You don’t have to nap with him, just lay next to him and stroke his hair
✧ Apart from Moments, you’re the only one he’s following on all socials
✧ Always responds with a stream of texts in all caps and several emojis when you send him a selfie 
✧ His biggest artistic aspiration is to find just the right pigments/colours that encapsulates you. Next is finding a colour palette that encapsulates both of you 
✧ Used to think you were mocking him when you took him on aquarium dates
✧ Your pearl engagement ring was made from the tears he cried while drafting his proposal speech [x]
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✧ Next to Sylus, he’s a comfort king. Making sure you have enough pillows underneath you during missionary; repositioning you when he notices your head leaning off the edge of the bed; several consent check ins; "my hands aren't too cold, right?"; taking over when your legs start to tire out from riding him, etc
✧ Unpopular opinion, I think he’s the most into period sex out of the five. You really think a MERMAN is scared of the red sea???
✧ Speaking of which, he’s extra sensitive to your scent and the way you feel when you’re on your cycle. Though he won’t necessarily initiate anything 
✧ Has you take the week off for Ebb Day. You’ll need the extra down time and he’s more than happy to spend the rest the week caring for you till you're back in good health
✧ On particularly intense— passionate rounds, he starts swearing/speaking in Lumerian
✧ Pretty gentle with you when you go down on him. He’s usually holding your hair back, softly running his fingers through your strands or caressing the back of your neck 
✧ The biggest tease when he’s eating you out and MEAN about it too. Giggling when you mewl. That annoying "mmm?” when you start to get louder. "Speak up, cutie."
✧ Best stroke game. Ik I said this last time, but I’m dying on this hill. Dizzying backshots, frontshots, sideshots— literally whatever position you’re in, his hips are steady, fluid, and unrelenting
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ꨄ︎ A/N: Thanks for reading 🤍 these lists were a bit harder to make this time ngl. Quite a few bullets from pt. I are now canon— which I’m happy about ofc, but it made it harder to bounce around new ideas since there’s fewer “what ifs”. It’s probably best to end this series here tbh. But I’m definitely open to different content suggestions to post next!
[x] - denotes credit for headcanon inspo.
⤠ dividers by saradika-graphics & anitalenia
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cyberjam · 2 years ago
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ATSV HEADCANON: they have a crush on you . . . ☆
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warnings - none really, super fluffy and adorable :), semi-proof read so i apologize for grammatical errors if there are any! no use of name or y/n, gender-neutral reader!
word count - 2.1k
main masterlist <3
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☆ . . . miles morales
I imagine you two already being well-acquainted friends with each other once he realized his feelings for you. For quite some time he had a crush on gwen but now his heart strings are pulling him towards you, so he's struggling when it comes to addressing his feelings.
If you're in the same room as Miles, he will stare. Any conversation that he was having before is long forgotten and all that's on his mind is you.
Miles doesn't need to study, he's one of the top students in school. But he continues to go on study dates with you because he likes being in your presence and sharing his headphones with you while eating yummy pastries.
He has an entire journal dedicated to you. Said journal includes: small journal entries of his day with you, little quotes of the funny/cute things you've said that stuck with him throughout the day, candid drawings of you that he created whenever you two hung out, cute sketches of you and him stargazing or slow-dancing together (and other secret drawings of him saving you as spider-man and cradling your body in his big strong arms but we won't get into that...)
Miles really can't get enough of you. He laughs extra loud at your jokes even if they aren't funny, his heartbeat quickens at the mention of your name, he'll offer you his jacket even if you don't need it, he always smiles when something reminds him of you, he'll share his headphones with you and shyly ask if you and him can make a "study playlist" (he listens to it at night while drawing you), and overall is just madly in love with you.
He wants to be with you more than anything, he's just struggling to find the right time to ask you. <3
"Hey, don't touch that! It's- No! It's not a diary, it's just...secret."
☆ . . . gwen stacy
She's pretty awkward herself. You were assigned to be partners for a project that would play a big part in your final grade, she came off slightly cold and seemed to be annoyed at your presence which made your relationship start off rocky. In reality she was just stressed, juggling her spider duties, getting kicked out of her house, and then school on top of that, it was just a lot. But when you made the effort to plan things and work around her busy schedule (that you didn't really know anything about) she started to become grateful for you.
Your parents welcomed her kindly each time she came over to study and whenever she would leave she was happy with a full belly and a sore face from smiling and laughing with you all night. The project was supposed to be done by the end of the semester but you and gwen were able to finish it the first month you got it. That didn't stop her bi-weekly visits, that then turned weekly, until she was suddenly walking home with you everyday, from and to school.
She likes to compare hands, shoes, and height just to see the difference in sizes. On walks back from school she'll give you a piggyback ride if you ask nicely. She also likes laying her head in your lap, if you run your fingers through her hair she'd be fast-asleep within 5 minutes.
You and her tend to share your oversized clothes together, You always wash her jackets/sweaters after you wear them, which she absolutely loves. She's fallen asleep curled up in your hoodie, inhaling the scent and listening to whatever song you rambled about the previous morning on repeat until she finally asks you to just make her a playlist. Hobie definitely knows about you, only because she slipped up by saying too much.
She enjoys staying over your house during rainy days. She tends to tense up whenever you're watching tv together on your bed and your head falls on her shoulder. During missions in other spider-verses gwen has taken little souvenirs from different worlds and given them to you, she always does it in a nonchalant way as if she wasn't grinning ear to ear on her way back, excited to see how you'd react.
You don't have sleepovers often but when you do they always seem more intimate than your usual hangouts. When you wake up and see gwen flustered on the other side of the bed you never understand why, not knowing that when you were fast asleep she woke up cuddled into you, nuzzling her body into yours.
"I-uhm. I-uh just had a weird dream. Nothing to worry about, heh.."
☆ . . . pavitr prabhakar
It's very obvious he has a crush on you, it might as well be written on his forehead. He follows you around like a lost puppy. He's constantly offering to carry your books, opening doors for you, paying for your snacks, and even giving you hand massages when you've been writing an essay for too long. He's just completely whipped for you and you're not even dating (yet).
You were a transfer student and he was assigned to show you around Mumbai. He found himself getting giddy at your cute reactions to the different sights he took you to. He adored how you were filled with so much curiosity and wonder, the awestruck look in your eyes when you saw the pretty lights at night and just how genuinely excited you seemed to stay and explore Mumbai. Since then, he's been glued to your side.
He's such a gentleman, you can tell he was raised right. Whenever you're talking his full attention is on you, nobody else matters in this moment but you. He'll even get a bit upset if someone cuts you off, ignoring whatever they're saying and urging you to continue. His legs feel wobbly around you, he gets dizzy at the sight of you, and he feels like he's floating whenever you smile at him.
There have been multiple occasions where you've caught him staring at you, depending on how he feels that day he'll either smirk and gently wave or quickly turn away with a blush on his face. He gushes about you to Hobie and Miles all of the time. They know so much about you and they've never even met you.
A true romantic. He buys you a singular flower one week out of the day, always explaining the meaning and where they originate from. (all of them are a variation of romance/love)
He tends to lean into you whenever you speak. More than one person has pointed out that you both tend to mirror each other's actions. He's feigning for your touch more than anything, a simple brush of your shoulders and he's full on putty in your hands.
He won't outright confront you when he figures out you like him, instead he'll invite you on a nightly walk. Taking you up to a rooftop with a gorgeous view, and gently resting his jacket on your shoulders. You'll sit for a while enjoying the scenery before he turns to you and says...
"a person as beautiful as yourself shouldn't wander this world alone.."
☆ . . . hobie brown
What a nightmare. He is constantly teasing and flirting with you. Always doubling over in laughter when he sees you get all flustered and the words you so badly wanna spew at him get stuck in your throat.
I imagine you both to be spider-people, you're a little more stuck-up than he is which is why he likes to tease you so much. Little by little your reactions fueled something deeper in him. He no-longer found himself flirting with you because he liked seeing how aggravated he could get you but because that was his way of approaching you and saying all of the things he wanted to while being able to play it off as a joke.
Besides teasing you relentlessly, he can be really caring and attentive to you when he wants to be. If you're in the medic he'll stop by pretty often to make sure you're okay. The only reason you found out is because you woke up to him fast asleep next to your bedside, feet propped on your bed and his vest laid across his torso like a blanket.
He'll eat the foods on your plate that you don't like. If you fall asleep he'll lay his vest onto your body and even move your position if it looks uncomfortable. If he senses danger before you he'll move you of the way as fast as he possibly can, but if he's not close enough he'll give you a heads up before anyone else. He tends to stare at you sometimes, always smiling gently to himself.
When you two get closer as friends he'll play any song on his guitar if you ask him nicely. He'll even give you lessons if you really want them. Carefully throwing his guitar over your torso, he brings his much larger hands to yours. You can feel his chest against your back, and the waves of his warm breath on your neck as he teaches you how to play. He'll also let you wear his jacket, saying it looks better on you than him. He might let you keep it, only in exchange for one of your jackets. (he sleeps with your jacket on, it makes him feel close to you.)
Hobie often checks up on you during missions, sometimes saying teasing phrases to get you riled up but mostly to make sure you're holding up okay. "you alright there, peaches? you took quite the hit."
Once he finds out you like him, he eases up on the teasing, but he doesn't refrain from dropping subtle hints of his knowingness that you like him. He's just waiting for you to finally say something.
"Yknow, if i ain't know any better i'd say you were doing this 'cause you like me."
☆ . . . miguel o' hara
You worked beside him in Alchemax, the two of you were assigned as partners. At first he didn't care much for you, simply telling you to stay out of his way and that he didn't need any help, but after Lyla practically forced him to be a cordial lab partner and work with you, he started to take a liking towards you. Sadly, it took months for him to tolerate you and even longer for him to like you.
Although he was quite stuck-up and practically seemed on edge most of the time, you were able to break through those confined walls and have a comfortable-playful work relationship with him. Every-time you made a joke or a light quip about his attitude he'd always respond with sarcasm, still not being able to hide the tiny smile that graced his face at your foolish acts.
He always runs his projects by you before submitting them. (and then lyla to triple check) He'll stop by and pick up empanadas from his favorite store, always boasting about how it's the best in Nueva York and you'll never taste anything better. Eventually he brings in a hefty share of empanadas that you two share over lunch time, your conversation flowing naturally without the teasing but with a fluffier feeling flowing through the air.
He pretends to be annoyed when he catches you over-working but he's genuinely worried for you. Always shaking his head in a disapproving way when he finds you fast asleep on your desk, papers scattered, and drool falling past your lips. Quietly scolding you in spanish before throwing his lab coat over your shoulders and organizing your papers neatly.
He tends to act unbothered when you do something that shows you care for him but in reality it makes his heart stutter and his stomach feel all loopy. He hates it because it makes him feel like a middle-schooler when they get their first crush but another part of him absolutely adores it and his main motivation to get up to go to work in the morning is you, although he'll never admit it.
If a co-worker is ever rude to you he will be the first to defend you, not hesitating to get in their face with a nasty scowl painting his features. On Friday's he made it his personal mission to walk you home, you two slowly walk side-by-side, quietly laughing to yourselves as you reminisce on lab accidents and old memories. There's a slight gleam in his eyes when you make it to your apartment door. He turns to you almost hesitantly, before stepping closer to you. He whispers a question, so quiet and soft you almost wouldn't be able to hear it.
"Can I kiss you?"
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omg i hope you guys liked it! requests are still open btw and thank you for reading! <3
likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated <33
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sturnioz · 2 months ago
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tw. obsessive behaviour. please read with caution. credits for obsessive!chris. @bernardsbendystraws
☆. . . CHRIS OBSESSES OVER THINGS AND gets attached pretty quickly. if there's a new game he likes, he'll continuously play it as if there's no other game in the world. if there's a song he likes, he'll have it on repeat so much that he memorises the lyrics and the instrumentals. if there's a new food he likes, he'll only eat that until the thought of consuming it makes him violently sick and he finds something different.
with people he crushes on, chris does everything and anything to be around them—forcing his way into their personal bubble and interests.
and you were his next target.
he first met you during a morning class you shared together, and you were made to sit next to him due to a minor inconvenience with another college student—bare faced, covered in an oversized red sweater, smelling like fresh strawberries and vanilla.
chris froze up in his seat, unable to draw his gaze away from the side of your head. his favourite colour is red, his favourite fruit is strawberries, and he loves the scent of vanilla candles. what a coincidence?
it's clear you did this for him.
you're perfect.
you're his.
his staring wasn't subtle, which made you feel even more annoyed than you already were from being forced to move seats, and you turn to look at him to confront him. but you see the look in his eyes—filled with want, desire, need.
a smirk slowly slithers across his lips, and he leans his elbows on the table as his eyebrow raises at your own unfiltered staring, but you tear your gaze away from him in an instant, focusing elsewhere in the room.
you begin to slowly notice the appearances chris starts to make in your everyday life; sitting near your table during lunch, studying at the library while you're there, following you on all your social media accounts, liking all your posts on instagram, and even posting stories with your favourite music attached.
he isn't slick, and he knows it.
you eventually end up cornering chris the next time you see him, especially when you catch him sitting in one of your favourite restaurants eating one of your favourite meals—which, by the way, you've never posted or hardly spoke about it in public or on your socials. you've gatekept it for so long than even your friends don't know.
chris is beaming from ear to ear when you plant yourself down in the chair opposite him, practically demanding him to answer all your questions about him knowing so much about you in such a short amount of time, but chris doesn't care, not when he finally has your attention after craving you for so long.
how you end up in a five hour long conversation with him is beyond you. you expected to be gone after confronting him on his obsessive behaviour, but you end up completely captivated by his smile and the way he talks to you, so you don't have it in you to get up and leave just like that.
he's already got you wrapped around his fingers, and he feels his obsession grow a little stronger when he manages to get a raw confession out of you.
your virginity hardly meant anything to you. you never actively went out looking for someone to hook-up with, and you weren't really saving it for that 'someone special'. it was just there, and it didn't bother you.
but somehow, you're home, your clothes thrown carelessly on the floor in a cluttered mess with chris between your legs, desperate lips biting and sucking at your skin like a starved animal, savouring the way you taste on his tongue—he's always been curious.
chris feels like he's on cloud nine once he's finally sheathed inside of your tight gummy walls, buried to the hilt with his balls pressed to your puffy folds that stretch around his cock, and his body flush against yours—sticky and sweaty.
chris could cry from delight as he cradles your cheek, a smile slipping onto his lips as he watches your face contort from pain to pleasure, feeling your nails dig into his skin and creating raw scratch marks that he can't wait to admire in the mirror later.
his grip tightens around your jaw, thumb stroking your plush bottom lip before pushing through the small gap of your mouth, pressing his thumb down on your tongue as he rolls his hips forward, sliding his cock in and out of your warmth, relishing in the sounds of your squeals and moans that fill his ears.
he's got you.
you're his.
you're all his.
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divider credits. @/enchanthings-a
© STURNIOZ
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domuspeccati · 8 months ago
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Day 5 : Dulled
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Ft. Yuna
Kink : Sensory Deprivation
Yuna crosses her legs while sitting on the floor. Lost in her own world, she sits with her headphones on. “This song is so good!” Yuna exclaims, excited to listen to something new by one of her favorite artists.
Chaeryeong walks by. “Oh, you finally got around to it, huh?” she asks Yuna. A laugh echoes in the hallway. Chaeryeong continues to head to the kitchen, her bare feet hitting the floor with each of her soft yet deliberate steps. “IT GETS BETTER WITH EACH LISTEN!” Her voice booms throughout the living quarters.
Yuna turns the volume up as the song progresses. Tuning the world out once more after the interruption from her friend, she closes her eyes. Yuna hums the chorus to learn the melody as it comes back around.
After a couple of minutes, she pauses the next song. “I need to go back,” Yuna tells herself. She then puts the first song on repeat and resumes playing the music. Her voice echoes throughout her bedroom while singing the song.
“Come here!” Chaeryeong calls out to Yuna. Realizing that she likely can’t be heard, she says it again but louder. “COME HERE!” Chaeryeong walks over to the door. “YOU HAVE A VISITOR!” She opens the door slowly. “Oh, hey! Sorry that you had to hear me shouting. She’s on a music binge again.”
You laugh nervously and take your shoes off. “No worries,” you say while touching Chaeryeong’s shoulder. As you step inside, the familiarity of the abode hits you. “Is she able to talk right now?” Your shoes are placed by the door and you make yourself at home.
Chaeryeong nods. “In her room as always,” she informs you. “I’ll go get her. Just sit on the sofa or get a snack.” Chaeryeong smiles and walks back to Yuna’s room. “YOU!” she shouts. “LOOK AT ME!”
Yuna looks up from her phone. The noise is muffled but she can tell that someone is talking. “Hmm?” Yuna pauses her music and looks up at Chaeryeong. “What is it? I’m in the zone!” Her whining grows old quickly and she can see that her friend’s patience is rapidly wearing thin.
She pulls her friend up by her wrists. “He’s here,” Chaeryeong says as Yuna is pulled up to her feet.
Yuna looks around. “Who?” She is pulled closer to Chaeryeong. The girls look each other in the eyes. “Do you mean my friend?” Yuna smiles as she thinks about the possibility of you paying her a visit.
Chaeryeong laughs hard. “Yes, bitch!” She hits Yuna on her shoulder. “Turn your headphones off and go talk to your man or whatever he is. I’m gonna go to give both of you some space.” Chaeryeong grabs her bag and heads for the door, eager to make space for you and Yuna to get closer.
You look over at the door. “Oh, leaving already?” you ask Chaeryeong. She looks back at you and nods, giving you a thumbs-up as a secondary form of confirmation. “Well I hope you have fun. All of us need to hang out soon.”
“I’d love to set up a hangout now that Lia is available again.” Chaeryeong opens the door and puts her shoes on. “I was gonna grab a snack before I left, but I’ll just grab something on the way home. Have fun, lovebirds!” She closes the door and begins her walk back to the place where she stays.
Yuna runs in your direction. “Hey, you!” She leaps into your lap, happy to see you. “It’s been two weeks since you last came over here. It’s been so lonely without you and I’m not into girls so I haven’t been able to get myself off with anyone who’s been here.”
You smack her ass. “Well, you know we’re not dating, right?” The question reaches her ears and she nods while making eye contact. “Then why didn’t you just go out and get some? Nothing’s stopping you.” You laugh and shake your head. “Nothing stopped me from getting off with another girl.”
She draws on your chest with one of her pointer fingers. “No one fucks me like you do.” Yuna tries to take your shirt off, eager to get your cock at the first possible chance. “No one is open to trying as much stuff as you are either.”
“I take pride in that.” Your friend with benefits stands up when you motion for her to do so. “I had a plan today. Hearing that you have been listening to music gave me another idea to add to that.” You stand up, ready to walk to the bedroom. “Is my bag still where I left it? It should have some unused stuff in there.”
Yuna nods energetically. “Yeah, it’s still back there.” She points to the bedroom. “You said something about a blindfold last time. I put it on when I was drunk a few days ago and almost fell over. The girls took turns looking through the bag.” Yuna pouts and sprints back to the room. “I hope you didn’t mind!”
You exhale softly. “It’s going to be a very long night.” With a determined step, you follow her to the bedroom. Once you actually get into the room, you stop next to the bed. “You’re totally getting punished for this.” One of your hands comes across her ass hard.
She emits a yelp and jumps onto the bed, pretending to be scared. “Oh, no…” Yuna hums softly, the song from earlier being hummed under her breath. “Please, anything but that! I definitely don’t want to be fucked senseless to realize the error of my ways.” Yuna snickers as she sees you reach into the bag.
“I need you to tell me that they didn’t touch the second compartment of the bag.” You turn to see Yuna shaking her head. “Good girl. This part of the bag is just for you and I.” A hand dives into the other part of the bag, You pull out a gag and another tool that you hide from Yuna’s sight.
Yuna gets excited when she sees the gag. “A gag and blindfold?” she asks you. “Sign me the fuck up!” The girl continues to hum while you rummage through the bag. She realizes that the plan to dull her senses is going to be thrilling for both of you. Yuna patiently waits for you to gather everything.
You fully turn to Yuna with the gag and blindfold in your hands. “I’m still missing something.” The objects are placed on the bed. Your brain tries to figure out what to add before the idea pops into your head in a mere matter of seconds. “Have you been using your headphones a lot?”
“Um…” Yuna looks over at her headphones. “Of course I have! I can get lost in music all day.” She doesn’t realize that the words will come back to bite her in the ass. Her legs open as she teases you with her lack of underwear.
The ideas run through your head as you approach Yuna. “Put them on,” you instruct her. As Yuna grabs her headphones and puts them back on, you point to her phone. “Play whatever you were listening to earlier.” One of your hands rubs Yuna’s thigh while you stare past her shorts to faintly see her pussy lips at an angle.
She begins to get lost in her own world once again. Seeing that you are interested in starting the encounter, Yuna hands you her phone. “You control the vibes,” she remarks as the device is handed to you. Yuna then grabs the shorts and pulls them down, making her lower half fully nude. Now that her pussy and legs can be seen in all of their glory, Yuna spreads her legs and then spreads her pussy with two fingers.
You get lost in the view, your eyes immediately going to her lower lips. Not wanting to get distracted, you shift your focus back to the original plan. One hand grabs the gag. “Put this on,” you demand. As Yuna stares at you, you release a hard sigh.
Yuna sees you flick your wrist to tell her to turn over. Not wanting to be punished more, she rolls over. Yuna then gets on all fours, getting herself ready for doggystyle. “Fuck me like you would if you hadn’t seen me in months.” Yuna is exceedingly hungry for her favorite rod and it shows all too well.
“Oh, I won’t have an issue with that.” You reach in the direction of Yuna’s mouth while holding the gag. She stays still, making sure to be obedient. Once she opens her mouth, you adjust the gag to make sure it fits properly and somewhat comfortably.
She looks down when your hands pull away. A bright red ball is held in her mouth, just barely able to be seen when she looks down. Yuna gets more aroused as you set her up. She can’t resist the urge to make a soft moan. It’s as much noise as she’s capable of, but it’s enough for her as the setup continues.
You then reach for the blindfold. “Have fun soaking the bed,” you joke. The blindfold is placed over Yuna’s eyes, the opaque fabric shielding her eyes from the world. Your hands pull the blindfold to fit snugly over her eye sockets as you bring both ends back behind her head.
Yuna starts to drool a little bit, unable to hold it in. The girl tries to hum an indistinguishable melody through the gag but all it does is force more fluid out of her wet mouth. Deciding to stay silent for as long as she can, Yuna keeps her head still so you can tie the blindfold to completely restrict her vision.
“Did you know…” You trail off mid-sentence to focus on tying the blindfold without it being so tight that it hurts her. “The word ‘blindfold’ is derived from a Middle English word and, by proxy, Old English? It comes from a verb that means ‘to be stricken blind’.” After the explanation, you yank her hair playfully. “I know you can still hear me. The music isn’t cranked up yet.”
She rolls her eyes. Yuna nods to show that she’s still listening. After nodding, she looks down again but of course is unable to see anything except the back of the blindfold. Yuna closes her eyes, realizing that it doesn’t make a difference because she sees the same thing regardless.
You grab one of her hands. As you use Yuna’s finger to unlock her phone, you get antsy. “This one can be good,” you muse. Her phone is held and a song is selected. The song begins to play and you look at Yuna. The blindfolded, deafened, and gagged girl stays on all fours with her knees and palms against the bed.
Yuna arches her back. She tries to entice you without uttering a single noise. Yuna then keeps her back arched while your hand grabs her ass. While she tries to anticipate what you’re going to do to her next, the rubbing of skin against her skin says it all.
You guide your shaft to her pussy. The shaft is then slapped against her pussy lips with force. It makes your member twitch when it comes in contact with her wet folds. “This will be a joy.” Your cock penetrates Yuna with ease, sliding into her pussy to initiate the pounding from behind.
She drips onto the bed. Yuna has been secretly wanting this kind of sex to happen for a long time. The girl had wanted to tell you, but she never knew when it would be the right time to bring it up. The sensation of being used while her favorite music is played excites her even more.
“Someone has been waiting for that thrust, huh?” You thrust hard, catching Yuna off guard. She stays on all fours, taking the doggystyle fucking like a champ. The sight is enough to make you go crazy, but you don’t want to fuck the girl senseless just yet. “Your body doesn’t play fair, does it?”
Yuna moans in agreement. She knows that her sinful body was made for sex. She knows that you love every inch of her, from her bratty lips to her fuckable ass and pussy. Yuna tries to contain her enthusiasm, but taking your cock appears to be her favorite thing in the world at this moment.
You then reach for her phone and turn up the volume. It is almost loud enough to where you can hear it through the headphones. You monitor how long it stays loud because a girl with damaged hearing wouldn’t be good since it would ruin her love of music. Walking the fine line between blaring it and straight up deafening Yuna, you crank it until she reaches up to try and take the headphones off.
Shaken up by the loud music, Yuna forgets why she’s on the bed. The harsh thrust reminds her of what she’s doing and what her role is in all of it. As the volume of the music goes down, she gets comfortable once more. The startling made her drool a little more than normal since she was tempted to scream.
Deciding to put the phone back down, you test how loud it really is. “Can you hear me?” you ask Yuna. When she doesn’t respond, you know that you’ve found the perfect volume for her music.
Yuna has no choice but to take the backshots as they come. She looks back at you, or at least in the general direction of you because the blindfold is in the way, attempting to read your lips. Seeing that she can’t decipher anything, Yuna looks back down at the bed and clutches tightly. If she could speak, she would be cursing and screaming like her life depended on it, but in an enjoyable way.
Yuna’s silence pleases you. At about that time, she groans through the gag. The muffled sounds coming from her excite you even more and you let it be known through the plentiful amount of thrusting that you’re doing.
You then reach for her hair. Being careful to not yank her head so hard that the headphones come off, you wrap Yuna’s hair around one of your hands. The other hand reaches down to rub her clit, playing with her pearl as her clam gets soaked. “That’s more juice on my hand than I’ve ever had on my face.”
She drools ferociously when you pull her hair. Yuna’s eyes get wide behind the blindfold and she tries to delay her orgasm. “He’s going to absolutely blow my back out,” Yuna thinks as you make her ass clap hard with each motion from your hips.
You proceed to give her exactly what she thought you’d give her. Your hand that’s playing with her clit continues to go through the motions, your fingers rubbing it and pleasuring it in every possible way. The hand that is pulling her hair yanks hard one time just for the hell of it, seeing if you can get a reaction out of the depraved girl.
The girl can’t believe the strength of your thrusts. Having never been fucked this hard before, Yuna grips the bed as tight as she can physically grip it. She hopes that her legs don’t give out, which would cause her to be in position for pronebone. Yuna enjoys having her back arched in doggystyle, so she tries to hold the position as well as she can.
Her grip on your cock feels unreal. You keep pounding harder, the cock that’s inside of her throbbing as it tries not to explode too early. Deciding to slow down, you make deep and measured thrusts similar to how you would enjoy fucking a sex toy for the first time.
Yuna’s orgasm builds. She can tell that she’ll reach climax before you. There is no way for her to hold on. There is no reason for her to hold on either. Yuna knows that the pleasure is way too much for her to take. The muffled moans become more frequent and the drool pools beneath her.
As she cums, you feel a sensation surrounding your member. The spray has succeeded in pushing you out of her. You know that if there was no gag, she’d be screaming your name right now. The juices soak the sheets and your cock as the hot juice continues to come out. “That’s a fucking big one,” you tell her even though you know that she couldn’t possibly hear you right now.
You wait for her to finish climaxing as you rub your cock against her lower lips. Once she’s stopped releasing her fragrant nectar, your cock re-enters her. Yuna’s hole grips it once more, her juices acting as lubricant for what will likely be the last act of this play.
Her body somehow takes it even better than before. Yuna cries softly, not out of discomfort, but out of enjoyment. Her emotions are running wild following her equally wild orgasm. Yuna tries to keep from drooling even more but the sensation makes the eyes and mouth release more fluid.
“I’m gonna cum,” you say, moaning as the pace is picked up yet again. You didn’t think that your orgasm would be so soon after hers, but you also didn’t know that Yuna would completely drench every single inch of your rod and a large portion of the bed as well.
The orgasm is going to be merciless and you know it. You always cum hard with Yuna, so all you can do is brace yourself. Hoping that you don’t exhaust yourself or overdo it, you slow down and hit as deep as you possibly can to make sure that every bit of your shaft is felt and constricted by your favorite hole.
One of your hands grips her hip and the other pulls her hair again. After realizing that it will now be mere moments until you blow, you place both of your hands on Yuna’s waist. Your fingers dig into her hips and hold on like you’re trying to keep yourself from being blown away.
You close your eyes and feel your toes curl. The moment that you’ve been building up to has finally arrived. With a satisfied groan, you pump Yuna full of seed. The cum travels deep inside, filling her with a hard initial spurt as you keep thrusting, albeit much slower and shallower than before.
Yuna grips the bed until her knuckles almost change color, loving the feeling of the creampie. Every single sow thrust brings more spurts of semen. Once you finally finish, her mind feels fuzzy, almost as if she became inebriated in the process of being fucked.
You reach for her phone and turn the music off. “How was it?” you ask Yuna now that she can hear you. The headphones are pulled off of her head. Your hands then go for the gag and remove it with a short series of deft motions. “I’ll let you do the rest by yourself.” The cock comes out of her.
“I didn’t want it to end,” Yuna admits. She removes the blindfold, undoing it from the back before revealing her eyes again. “Fuck, that’s so bright after all that time with this over my eyes.” Yuna laughs and collapses, her torso now resting against the bed while she drips your cum all over the sheets.
You carefully inspect her used body with your eyes. “Well that’s good.” You jump into bed with her, immediately grabbing Yuna’s body and pulling it closer. “I threw you off the deep end to see if you could take it. You took it pretty well, so now we can focus on doing each of the senses one by one.”
Yuna moans as she touches her freshly used pussy. “Yes please.” She collects some sperm on her fingers before bringing them up to her mouth. “Just not right now. I need a while to recover from that.” Yuna sucks her fingers clean and chuckles before closing her eyes to catch a quick nap.
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girasollake · 1 year ago
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Hi! Can I request a smut imagine with prompt 48 and trope 8 with Theodore Nott.
She’s a slytherin too and a badass bitch who everybody wants to be or date
Thank youuu!
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✧ theodore nott x fem!reader x jealousy x "you. are. mine."✧
(this request is a part of my writing event, here is the link to the masterlist of the fics i'll be publishing from said event:) )
this took longer than i expected, thank you for your request anon! x
told u guys i’d post smth… surprise!!!!
warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, p in v sex, some swear words, some slight cedric x reader, theo being bitchy ig, fingering, general sex stuff, orgasm denial, ummmmmm yeah i think that’s it
i’ll reread it later to fix mistakes cuz rn it’s 2 am where i live and i’m going to bed bye
•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•
Your relationship with Theo was complicated. At least in your mind that was the most suitable word for this dynamic, you could never find anything else that would quite describe it. You were friends, that’s for sure, this was the only thing you were certain of. Some days you had found yourself tangled in his bedsheets, his soft fingers caressing your back as you lingered in his scent. But, there were also days when you didn’t speak to him at all, strolling through the halls and seeing him tug a piece of hair behind the ear of some Ravenclaw girl while simultaneously giving her his infamous smile. Even though you also flirted and went on dates with others, something inside your guts sunk down each time you saw him with a girl who was not you. And you could barely handle it. Every time you promised yourself you’ll never sleep with him again or give him your attention, you’d always end up doing the opposite. There was something about him that lured you in, it was toxic, but so divine. So, whenever his lips connected to yours in a hungry kiss, you’d forget about all of the other women he probably does this with. It was just you and him and your only thought during these moments was to stay with him like that forever.
‚-it’s not like it’s that important.’
‚Huh?’ You lifted your head and met Pansy’s annoyed face. ‚Sorry, what were you saying?’
¨What is going on with you lately?´She shook her head and sighed. ´I asked if you have a date for the ball.’ She then added.
‘Oh, well, not really.’ You shrugged.
‘Seriously? Is this about Theo again? I’ve told you multiple times that there is a fucking queue of guys just waiting for you and all you do is always go back to him.’ She huffed. ‘What about Mason? Louise? Henry? They were all head over heels for you, I don’t believe they didn’t ask you at least once.’
‘They did. I just said no.’ You mumbled and avoided her angry gaze.
SShe groaned and took a sip of her butterbeer. ‘I was not going to tell you this, but I see there is no other option.’ Pansy took a deep breath. ‘I heard the boys talking about the ball and Nott wants to take Arisa.’
You swallowed a big gulp in your throat and looked down into your drink. You expected that something like this would happen, you just didn’t think you wouldn’t be prepared to hear it.
‘’M sorry.’ She looked at your numb expression with caring eyes.
‘It’s okay Pans.’ You gave her a soft smile. ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time to move on.’
Even though you tried to not think about him for the next few days, it was unusually hard. He was on your mind non stop, like a song playing on repeat. On top of that, everyone was talking about the upcoming event. While walking through the halls you overheard people gossiping about the pairs, discussing what they are gonna wear and you were also a witness to roughly 7 performances of the boys creatively asking their crushes to go with them.
You walked into the courtyard and took a seat on the nearest free bench. You pulled out your sketchbook in hopes to finally draw something. Truth is, you didn’t remember the last time you practiced your beloved activity, not that you didn’t have time, you just didn’t have any ideas. This time wasn’t different, you looked around and then your gaze rested on the empty page before you. You made a soft line with your pencil and stopped, it was like your hand didn’t want to listen to your mind. You groaned and closed the sketchbook to put it in your bag again. While doing this, you felt a presence in front of you. Looking up, you saw Cedric Diggory, a charming smile plastered on his face.
‘Hi, do you have a moment?’ He asked and you stood up to face him.
‘Of course.’ You smiled.
‘I have a question.’
‘If you want my help with something, then no. I can barely finish my own essays and-‘
‘No, that’s..’ He chuckled. ‘I was wondering if you’d want to go to the ball with me?’
‘Oh..’ You bit your lip softly from the inside. ‘I.. I’ll think about it. Is that okay with you?’
‘Surely, just don’t take too long, darling.’ He sent you a wink and walked out of the courtyard.
Later that night you were studying in your dorm, soft music was playing in your headphones as you scribbled some sigils for one of the classes. Your back was turned to the door, so you didn’t hear that someone came in. It was the feeling of being observed that made you move your head to inspect the room and there he was. Theodore Nott stood next to your door, his arms were crossed and you couldn’t quite read his expression. You grabbed your headphones and took them off.
‘Knocking exists.’ You told him.
‘Not for me.’ He replied sternly.
‘What are you doing here, Theodore?’ You fixed your position on the bed so that you were fully facing him. ‘Don’t you have any other hoes to tend to?’
‘Are you going to the ball with Diggory?’ He avoided your question.
‘Why do you care?’ You stood up.
‘Answer me.’ He took a step closer to you.
‘Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.’
‘For fucks sake, stop being a brat and answer the question.’ He said through gritted teeth.
‘It’s none of your business.’ You replied while stepping closer to him and poking your finger into his chest.
His scent filled up your nose and you felt this forbidden feeling again. Your body was lustful, for him, but you couldn’t let him win again.
He chuckled, ‘See, that’s where you’re wrong.’
You scoffed, ‘Fine. Yes.’ You spat at him. ‘I’m going with Cedric. Is that what you wanted to hear?’
His eyes darkened at the confession, which wasn’t even true. You just wanted to get on his nerves and see what he would do. You didn’t even have time to react before he pinned you to the wall and hovered over you. Your breath hitched and you tried your best to avoid his eyes, because if you looked into them, you’d lose.
‘No, you’re not.’ He stated. ‘You are not going with anyone.’
‘Why? Why the fuck do you care so much?!’ Your eyes were glued to the ceiling.
He gripped your face with one of his hands and forced you to look at him. You closed your eyes.
‘You.’ He whispered and brought his lips closer to yours before breathily adding the rest. ‘Are. Mine.’
The sound of his voice was angelic and it sent a certain feeling down to your core. You tried your best to resist but your eyes fluttered open and met his. You lost.
He grabbed your face and connected your lips in a hungry kiss. You whimpered into his mouth and cursed yourself in your mind. Why was he so addictive? Why couldn’t you quit? He just felt too good to be true. Kissing you in all the right places, his fingers touching where you needed him most, every time you felt him inside of you, it felt like heaven.
He took a few steps back and tried to not break the kiss. He pushed you onto the mattress and with one of his hands he pushed all the books off the bed. He left wet kisses along your jawline and you moaned at the feeling. He discarded both of your shirts and attached his lips to your chest, leaving a couple love bites along the way.
‘I want you to say it.’ He mumbled into your ear.
‘Hm?’ You were brought out of your trance.
‘I want you to admit you’re mine.’
‘But am I?’ He stopped kissing your neck and gripped your throat.
‘Are you?’ He raised his brow and smirked challengingly, knowing you’d fold under him.
You stared deep into his eyes and swallowed harshly because of his grip, before replying, ‘I’m yours.’
‘Good girl.’ He let go of your neck and connected your lips once again.
Soon enough both of you were a sweaty mess, clothes laying somewhere on the wooden floor, soft sounds escaping your lips as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. His breath on your neck and occasional kisses made you feel dizzy, his fingers making you squirm from the pleasure, but it wasn’t enough.
‘I need to feel you.’ You breathed out and Theo didn’t waste a second.
He positioned himself on top of you and slowly entered your aching pussy. You threw your head back and he used that to immediately attach his lips to your neck once again.
‘’S okay, darling. You’re doing so good f’me.’ He whispered to help you relax.
His voice made you let go of the tension in your lower body, finally allowing him to move at a pace so perfect for both of you. He lifted you up and spinned both of you, so that you were on top of him. His thrusts became quicker and stronger, one of his hands was caressing your breasts, while the other rubbed your clit so deliciously. You cried out his name a few times when you were close, but he always stopped just then. He just smirked every time and continued his actions, it turned him on, watching you whine on top of him. He felt he was getting closer to his release, so he sped up again, and this time his hand stayed on your sweet spot. You reached your high with a loud moan and threw your head back, your hand grabbing Theo’s arm. He released inside of you with a loud groan and you used that to push away his hand which was still rubbing circles on your bud, too sensitive for more. You collapsed on top of him and gave him a peck on his collarbone. Theo reached for the blanket and covered the two of you.
‘I lied.’ You mumbled.
‘What?’
‘I’m not going with Cedric.’ You replied softly. ‘I told him I’d think about it and..’
‘Good.’ He interrupted. ‘You’re going with me then.’
‘Am I?’ You looked up at him playfully. ‘I thought you were taking Arisa.’
‘Who?’ He replied and you giggled. ‘She asked me to go. But I refused.’
‘Why? She’s a nice girl.’
‘Maybe. But she isn’t you.’ He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. ‘And I belong solely to you.’
•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•
@ girasollake 2024
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thesilmarillionblog · 8 months ago
Text
𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 ── Part 3
Click here to read the first part.
Summary: In the hopes that things would improve between you, you choose to lose your virginity to your friend Dean Winchester because you have been in love with him madly for a long time. However, he doesn't feel the same about you.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader
Warnings: Unrequited love, angst, jealousy, tension, language
Word Count: 6043
A/N: English is not my first language.
Song: 'It takes a Lot to Know a Man' by Damien Rice
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While it was exhausting in some ways and occasionally involved people who were a little noisy and irate, spending an entire day at the hospital and taking care of patients felt good. It was occasionally unclear which task you had more difficulty with than the other: hunting or nursing. That being said, one of them was a little too dangerous for you.
Your thoughts raced at every word Dean said, hinting that he didn't want you to tear down your bond, as you thought back to the evening he'd spent with Jo while Sam spent his time watching TV. Though he hadn't stated it explicitly, his sharp statements with soft tones made it clear. Although you were happy that he was trying to be respectful and polite, the fact that it hurt so much made his efforts a waste.
Perhaps it would be better for you to listen Sam. Giving new people a chance and meeting them might perhaps heal whatever hurts you on the inside. But when it came down to it, you were a coward for being devoted to someone you never had and never would. Especially when you saw Dean enjoying himself with Jo there in front of your eyes, it didn't even make sense. 
As if absolutely nothing happened between you. 
It was just too much for you, yet it meant nothing to him. But because you were the one who let everything happen and didn't even inform him that you were a virgin, you had no reason to hold Dean responsible. Nothing at all. However, that was such a burden. 
You cleared your mind of thoughts and saw your colleague doing his job while you treated the small girl's hand when she reached you with her nervous mother, who was frequently repeating to her that she had warned her not to play with sharp objects. It wasn't that horrible, but you did your best to soothe her and divert her attention by carefully cleaning her hand.
You informed her mother that there were hundreds of such and even worse incidents in emergency, much like her daughter, after the sharp glass was removed from her arm. You were given the task of stitching, and you began it meticulously and with caution. Sadly, it had to be stitched. Even doing it with adults appeared to be challenging. 
She was trying her hardest not to weep when she saw the needle because she felt guilty and ashamed, but you swiftly covered it up and looked at her mother to let her know that she too needed to calm her daughter. Fortunately, she got the message. 
I was just wondering what your name is. You haven't told me yet," you inquired, trying to complete your task without drawing attention to your hands. 
“Talia,” she sobbed as she turned to face her mother as if she wanted to see if she was still angry with her.
“It's a very lovely name.” You replied, “It's good to meet you, Talia,” and gave her your name. Making sure her kid wasn't gazing at you while you were taking care of her arm, you encouraged her mother to talk to her as well. Not in an angry way, of course.
“It's not very pretty,” she said. Children typically complain about several things. 
“Why do you say that, though?”
“It sounds like 'Arya.' I was playing with Aisha when she told me that. I don't even like that name.”
If there was anything positive about kids, it was being prone to share too much. That was really beneficial for handling youngsters during an emergency, though. It would have been better, of course, if they had just been cautious and not gone through at all. It seemed to you that the other girl she was referring to was her closest friend. 
“I don't believe so. Their pronouncations are really differently,” you observed. “I has a very beautiful meaning, and it's not a very common name, which is a nice thing. Don't you think so?”
“Yes,” she said after giving it some thought. “Will it hurt?” 
“Just a little bit,” you smiled reassuringly at her. “People say my hands are really soft.”
She was unable to conceal her frightened and apprehensive look as you began stitching as her mother went on to remark about how impulsive her daughter might be at times. Additionally, you saw her continuing talking with her daughter about topics that would divert her attention. 
She inquired, “Do you have a boyfriend?” with curiosity.  She was attempting to cover up the hurt expression on her face so her mother wouldn't say anything further.
“No,” you smiled and stated. 
“Why?”
“I'm not sure.” You attempted to respond vaguely in order to get her to stop interrogating you about your nonexistent romantic life. “Adult life is difficult to comprehend when it comes to such matters.”
“Now I'm not interested in growing up. Mine is not difficult.”
You interrupted with, “Good for you,” and carefully cleaned her arm while smiling sincere at her. “It is finished. I told you that my hands were soft, right?”
You felt better as the rest of the day passed, taking care of other patients, listening to them, and doing what you could to help them. It dawned on you that becoming worn out was an effective distraction from troubling thoughts. Making yourself occupied at that moment was definitely the best thing for you because you were going to lose your mind over thinking about Dean constantly, even when you had to pee. Your body was hurting so much that you had no energy left to consider anything but resting.
You were taken aback when one of your closest friends randomly stopped by the hospital where you work right before you were about to leave. You looked him in the eye and saw that, indeed, it was him. You shivered in anticipation as you gazed at him because of the little coolness in the air. Your pulse was pounding with excitement and curiosity as you narrowed your eyes and caught him with such a focused glance that he knew you were the one gazing at him before you could.
In a tone that suggested both shock and joy, you exclaimed, “Robert?” as you approached each other. You could have recognized him sooner, a few minutes earlier, before you left the hospital.
He was your pal from college. Before you left the hospital where you both worked and joined Sam and Dean, you two were extremely close friends. With Rob, everything was simple, and he was a really nice and supportive friend; you would never deny that. But at that point, you couldn't simply bury your desire to go after the family business in addition to your own work, and it was difficult to say no to Dean. He was the one who initially convinced you. After all of your losses, you had also yearned for something different—something that could brighten you up. 
During the times you worked together, Rob was a highly professional, talented, and encouraging doctor. Even though there was a hierarchy between you at the hospital, you respected the fact that he never treated you worse than necessary or better than he should have. He was always completely aware of the lines.
But even though you've been in touch with Rob, your connection with him has been weakened since you've spent so much time with Dean and Sam. There's no denying that.
You gave him a huge, tight hug, and he chuckled, “Hey,” as if he wasn't at all shocked to see you. He knew that you were working here after all, but you didn't expect to see him anyway.
Warmly hugging him again, you said, “What are you doing here?”
He winked and added, “I was in the neighborhood,” as you drew back and gave him a suspicious look. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”
Dean attempted to divert his attention throughout the day while he fixed things and cleaned Baby. He became consumed with a sensation of rage and frustration that he just didn't comprehend. He was thinking about the past three weeks nonstop, even if nothing was wrong. Particularly the last night. 
After speaking with Jo over the phone about his intention to stop their connection and his lack of interest in pursuing a serious relationship, Dean was pleased that she accepted his request and that she wasn't interested in pursuing it further either, even though she offered him to go hunting. His and her desire to hunt were similar, but Dean didn't comprehend how different they were in fact. He was glad Jo felt the same. 
If Dean had cared a little bit more, he may have been ashamed by his obviously poor performance last night, but oddly, he didn't. He felt a lot of burden when he realized that even for a brief while, he fucked Jo thinking about you. Imagining your body under him. It wasn't fair, and he didn't even mean it. He was aware of that.
The worst thing about it was that he enjoyed it and wasn't pleased with it behaving like this. Clearly stating that one night shouldn't be enough to ruin your friendship, he shouldn't reciprocate by fantasizing about fucking you. About filling you with his—Uh. Whatever. 
All day, he tried to find a way a way to divert his attention with Baby and all things mechanical. He sometimes purposefully broke things so he could fix them again. But he also couldn't quit thinking about your most recent conversation.
It wasn't the unclear situation between him and Jo that was causing him the strain he thought it was. It didn't ease him at all to cut his links with her so quickly. He was surprised to see that you were encircling him in his thoughts, imprisoning him there. 
“You look messy,” Sam said, observing his ripped t-shirt and dirty face. 
As he bent over and looked at Sam, he said, “Thanks,” in a dismissive voice, while searching for the right tool for his car. 
“You seem to be quite busy today, aren't you?” said Sam to carefully avoid getting his shirt dirty as he gave Dean the right tool in his palm from afar. 
“You think? I guess it was a long time since I took care of Baby.”
“Yeah, for around a week. But why in the world are you behaving like a cranky old lady?”
“Sam, don't get started. I mean it.” Dean shot back immediately, suddenly becoming quite defensive. He felt like the irritation was pouring into him again, but he didn't even understand why, which was making him angrier. “I have too much to do as you see.”
“By the way, when did Jo leave? Even though I got up early, I didn't see her.”
“Yeah, she left in the middle of the night.”
Recalling the evening did not soothe his feelings, but Dean responded to Sam, stating to let the fuck him alone as soon as possible. But Sam seemed intent on playing the part of the curious bitch, as if he intended to test Dean's patience to the maximum extent possible. 
“After you two had finished, huh? She's an awesome girl, but her loudness..is definetely something else. I'm not trying to say it in a mean way, but for heaven's sake, Dean. If you two have... kinky stuff, it would be best if you spent the night at her place. I bet you two also probably made it difficult for Y/N to fall asleep.”
Dean shot a look at Sam, who was attempting to say something without coming out as weird about Jo or whatever. Sam didn't dislike Jo at all; it wasn't that he despised her. She was a little too cunning and rebellious for Dean's liking. That was a known fact. His brother was sometimes a bitch; that was true, but not that bitchy for sure. 
When Sam brought you up in the chat, Dean found it difficult to focus on his work and became disoriented while lying down beneath his car. Sam was trying very hard to get under his skin for sure.
He had become frustrated in some way by the thought that you heard him and Jo. He wasn't trying to get you to hear something or anything. Dean frowned with distaste, picturing you hearing Jo's exaggerated noises. He shouldn't have brought her home to have sex in the first place, but what is done was done. Even it wasn't right. Fuck that.
Dean attempted to lightheartedly remark, “Women have a hard time with staying silent when I'm around, huh,” in an attempt to divert Sam's attention. He attempted to change the subject at hand.
“Have you seen Y/N in the morning?”
“Why are you asking that right now?” Dean grunted and glared at Sam. He suddenly lost control of the tool he was holding and groaned in pain as it landed across his face. “God. Fuck this.”
Puzzled by Dean's odd behavior, Sam put his hands in his pockets in between his complaints. His recent behavior has been peculiar. Sam was hesitant to confront it since he thought it was likely to do with their father and other hunting experiences, but he couldn't help but wonder if he was still angry with you for what happened on the previous hunt.
Sam was appreciative of Dean for constantly watching out for him, taking care of him, and protecting him from harm—even if there were times when it made him feel like a little child. Sam knew that Dean would always be looking out for him, even if he lived fifty years old. Dean has always been overly protective, and he always will be. However, there were times he was being too much. 
“Have you?” Dean was curious and asked. Remembering your swollen eyes, he wondered if you were okay. It didn't appear like you got much sleep. 
Sam said, “Yeah,” while keeping his hands in his pockets and observing Dean's struggling with Baby. “She seemed pretty bad though.”
“Why do you say that?” Despite his best efforts to appear indifferent and normal, Dean's tone betrayed him. There was absolutely no stopping it. He was wondering if he was treating you too harshly these days. Neither Dean nor you were ever good at expressing yourself clearly.
“I'm not sure. She was quite exhausted, and her eyes appeared to be red, but I'm not sure. Her having to work and hunt at the same time must be challenging.” Sam thought you were pushing yourself a little too hard since he got to know you; however, he wasn't sure if it was just weariness or something more. He was impressed by your ambition and couldn't help but feel respect and appreciation for you.
“Maybe,” Dean interrupted, reminiscing on the way you looked the previous night. You looked so worn out, but he was too preoccupied with the talk to notice. Even though he wasn't sure whether he would believe it himself, he would prefer to pretend that you were just dizzy or sleepy. He would have said that you had sobbed uncontrollably all night, but he quickly brushed this idea from his mind as a sensation of uneasiness overcame him. “She must be tired.” 
“Did you apologize to her?”
“For what”
Sam kept rolling his eyes at Dean because he was becoming a little irritated with the way he was acting. He would claim that throughout the previous two or three weeks, something inside of him had altered. 
“For acting like a grumpy old bitch,” Sam shot back. 
Dean kept it short, refusing to elaborate on what had happened the night before. “We talked it out,” he said. “She'll start being more watchful now. By the way, is your arm okay?” 
Sam kneeled down and attempted to look into Dean's face in an effort to start a meaningful conversation, realizing that Dean was unwilling to acknowledge that his reaction was wrong. 
Sam remarked, “It's been a year since she joined us, and she's far too helpful and too kind for how you reacted there," dismissing his inquiry over his arm. Though I'm grateful for your concern, it's wrong. You need to be a little softer and gentler.”
“Do you think I don't know that?” After switching out the tool, Dean gave Sam a stern look.
“No.”
Sam grumbled in frustration, acknowledging that it would be impossible to alter Dean's perspective. “It wasn't very kind to tell someone that you have only one left to care about when they don't even have one.”
For a brief period, Dean's hands paused, and regret overcame his mind. He couldn't recall the exact moment those piercing words, as if he intended to intentionally harm you, came out of his mouth. It was never his intention to do so. Gradually, Dean's hands slowed, and he stood up, recalling that you were the only member of your family still living. For a moment, he stopped being interested in everything. 
“Now you know what you must apologize for, huh?” With a broken smile, Sam remarked. At least Dean wasn't so rigid, which relieved him. “Do you know when her shift ends?”
Dean murmured, “Yeah, I guess,” in a tone that was more controlled and calm. 
“You need to fix this; I'm serious. Give her a call, and bring her over for tonight. Having a dinner together might be a wonderful place to begin, and she'll be too exhausted anyway.”
“Don't tell me what to do.” Dean hurriedly walked by Sam, messing his hair to annoy him. He returned inside from the garage, determined not to engage in any further discourse. 
After a quick shower, Dean changed into new clothing and stood in front of the mirror, making adjustments with his hair until he was satisfied with the way he looked. He bit his lip anxiously and walked the room for a little while, considering calling you, but then decided to come get you because he knew you would be finished with work in an hour. It would be better to give you a call on the way. On the drive back home, it may be somewhat more appropriate for conversation. Driving back after so many hours at work would exhaust you too much. Besides, it was becoming late. Perhaps you might even consider eating in a restaurant.
“But why didn't you inform me about your arrival? You could have called me,” you wondered, your mouth making into a smile. It surprised you too much to see him so abruptly, even though you knew he would let you know if there was another time. 
Unexpectedly, he replied, “I actually did it on purpose.” You waited for him to continue. “I thought, surprising you about that, I'm going to work here from now on, and seeing that face of yours would be worth it.”
“Oh my god,” you said, displaying greater excitement than you had expected.
“You can't be serious.”
“I am pretty serious actually.”
When your phone began to ring, you apologized and continued to ignore Dean's calls. Rob then informed you that he had chosen to relocate after his father passed away, and you had attended his funeral around a month prior. You assumed that it must have caused some sort of trauma, but you didn't pursue the matter further since you didn't want to reopen old wounds.
You inquired excitedly, “Do you want to come over? I could make you some food so we can have an actual conversation instead of chatting under that weather. You know, it's kind of cold, and I'm sort of tired as hell,” you joked, hoping he would take you up on your offer. It has suddenly occurred to you that you have been missing your friend, an old friend you haven't fallen in love with despite knowing for years.
Dean eventually lost patience with you and, making an annoyed sound, placed his phone back in his pocket. He thought about giving you another call right after he parked and got out of his car, but if his eyes weren't playing tricks on him, you were speaking with a man. He could tell that you had ignored his calls since you were having a heated chat that briefly made him stiff. If he didn't see you giggling and even giving him a firm hug, which caused his body to tense up for a brief moment, he would say it was simply small talk.
Dean wasn't sure if being ignored was the cause of his growing ire. Since his rage had been driving him insane since the morning, he put the blame on his lack of patience. His pride was hurt by your disregard for him as well. 
With a sidelong glance at the man you were speaking with, Dean saw his rage flare up. Not feeling calm since the morning was tiring though. The man had a prideful appearance yet exuded a sense of confidence. From a distance, he could express that enough. 
His body stiffened for a moment, indicating that the conversation was... intense. So that was the reason that you ignored him for that long. 
Dean moved fast but calmly to avoid making a scene, attempting to maintain his composure despite his mind racing with thoughts. As he walked to each of you, he considered lying about his work. Maybe he would pretend to be a doctor in order to create a good impression, or he would claim to be working for the CIA or FBI in order to make dirty jokes about you and him. He would decide that soon enough.
You whispered, “Dean?” in shock as he unexpectedly appeared at your side. It was unusual for him to show up, especially considering how distant you two were in the last couple of days. He glanced in your direction, but then his gaze shifted to Robert.��
Dean glanced at you and added, “I've been calling you for some time.” It was a little judgmental, which bothered you.
Robert stared at you both bewildered, and you lied to him, “I wasn't aware,” but he didn't interject. Awkwardness suddenly filled the air. Three of you were waiting on foot as the chilly weather grew more intense. It was a really uncomfortable moment. 
As Robert extended his hand for a formal introduction, Dean said, “Can't imagine why,” while concentrating his entire attention on him. Dean talked first: “Dean Winchester.” 
Robert also introduced himself quite sweetly and kindly. He was typically really polite and mindful. You hoped Dean wasn't feeling like making uncomfortable remarks or embarrassing you in any way. He wasn't a reckless person, but when he wasn't in the mood, you just didn't know whether he knew the lines. 
Robert gave you a long stare when they finally got to meet, but he remained silent. Rather, he said, “So are you two friends or?” 
“Yeah, very close,” Dean said immediately. Robert only nodded to him. “How do you know each other?”
“Well, I'm a doctor.” Robert said, giving you a real, heartfelt smile that warmed your heart, “We've known each other for a long time and worked in the same hospital for quite a long time from my perspective since I'm always on the move. She’s a very good nurse, very talented.” When someone you looked up to complimented you, your heart skipped a beat. These days, it's difficult to find someone who values your effort.
You tensed up for a moment when Dean responded, “I know,” in a proud voice and with a sly smile. When he saw Robert smiling broadly at you, he was powerless to stop himself. Licking his lips, he added, “She has very soft hands indeed and definitely knows how to use them.”
Though Dean had no intention of making any inappropriate remarks, his patience with the man in front of him was getting thinner by the moment as he kept looking at you while he talked. Dean felt like he was getting in the mood when he observed Robert's face change. With a confused expression on his face, he seemed to be trying to figure out whether Dean meant it literally or if it was a metaphor or something.
You gave Dean a glare, but you remained silent despite your cheeks turning red from his unexpected and dirty statement. You were shocked that he chose to act this way in order to make you feel uncomfortable in front of your friend. You didn't mind when he made similar jokes when there was just you and him; nonetheless, you felt embarrassed acting in this way in front of Robert. You weren't sure of Dean's actual intentions. 
You choose to cut it off in order to release some tension. “Robb, would you like to have an actual conversation with me later, or simply come over? Of course, if you have the time.”
Dean gave you and Robert a bitter look as he realized how fast and recklessly you had welcomed a man to your house at that hour. He knew you well enough to know that you weren't someone who liked to greet guests at your place with such ease. It didn't matter how hard you tried to disguise your trust concerns; you had trust issues. You were so at ease and full of energy around that man that he wondered how close you must have been to him. Dean closed his eyes for a while, pushing the terrible pictures from his mind as he considered the scenarios involving you and him.
“Actually, I came here at that hour to visit with a different friend before spending the night with my aunt. Can we have a call for tomorrow to set up a suitable time?” Robb remarked very politely, “I guess your friend came here to pick you up,” glancing at Dean as if he required clarification from both of you.
You went to offer him a hug by saying, “Of course. I'm so glad to see you again.”
His hands massaged your back as he gave you an even closer embrace, kissing you briefly on the top of the head and telling you to take care of yourself. He promised to text you as soon as he had some spare time.
Dean gazed at you and him confused as he saw you two embrace like lovers who had met years later. He questioned whether the man's irritating conduct was intended for annoying him. He was curious as to how and when you two first connected, as well as why, given that you spent the entire year with Sam and him, you would still be so close to someone a year later. Although Dean was aware that you remained in contact with your pals, he was unaware of how close you were to one of them.
Dean was ready to say something, but he instantly changed his mind and was waiting for you to end the hug. He kind of wanted to break Robert's face and hands when he touched your back. Dean wondered when he'd felt you give him such a yearning hug. Most likely never. Considering all the times he had saved your ass, you were ungrateful. Later, he would speak about this. 
Dean turned to face you shortly after Robb departed and said, “I've called you many times.”
You apologized as he gave you a strange look. You had no idea why you sounded so aloof and cold. “I haven't seen him in a very long time. He's one of my closest friends.”
You questioned, “Why are you here?” before he continued.”Has anything happened?”
“Not at all. I arrived here to pick you up.”
“But my car-”
“I will drive you to work tomorrow, alright?” Dean watched as you began to tremble in the chilly weather. As Sam mentioned, you looked pretty tired. 
Dean felt his heart melt and sigh as he saw you shiver from the cold and appear exhausted. Even though he didn't mean to come across as so crude and distant, there was still an uneasiness between you that seemed impossible to get past.
“Fine.”
You continued to shake as you got in the car. You knew you were starving yourself to death when you heard the loud sound coming from your stomach. You had hardly had time for an adequate meal because you were so busy with work.
“You need to have dressed properly.” Dean softly remarked, “It's cold outside these days,” observing your attempts to sooth yourself by lightly massaging your bare arms.
You said in a whisper, “Yeah,” while Dean pressed a button to warm the car up. 
Your muscles gradually relaxed, and you began to feel much better as Dean drove. He turned his head to face you, giving you a little, pleased look after he heard your little satisfied sound. He liked it so much. “Relaxed now?”
Giving a quick nod to him, you muttered with a hint of gratitude in your voice. “Uhm, yes. Thanks.” 
Dean said, “So,” his gaze glued to the dimly illuminated road. “How long are you friends? You and him. You appeared to be really at ease with that guy.” 
“I think for four or five years. I find him to be a really caring and compassionate friend. I hadn't seen him in a very long time, so it was a surprise to see him, as he didn't give me a call in the first place.”
You were taken aback by Dean's attempts to have a polite, regular discussion with you. Your pulse beat with excitement and anticipation since it had been a long time since you had spoken to him in that way. All you wanted was for things to be normal between you two again. You might get by with less and normal if you are unable to have more. 
Prior to Dean addressing Robert and your friendship, you said, “Baby looks and smells amazing today. Have you just given her a wash?”
“She's a good girl all the time,” he remarked, chuckling. His hands around the steering wheel were more tightly now. “She needed to be clean and nice.”
You eagerly questioned, “Why did you come, by the way?” as the minutes ticked by in quiet. You wanted to make it seem like nothing occurred between you as well, and now it looked like a good moment to sort out things between you and him. 
“I decided to pick you up to avoid an accident after Sam warned me that you looked terrible. Are you hungry?” Dean wouldn't say 'no' to a pie right now.
“Actually, I'm starving,” you answered, sidestepping the comment Dean made regarding your appearance. You bet you did. 
“Alright.” Dean glanced at you and said, “I know a good restaurant,” in a rough voice, clearing his throat. 
Stating, “To be honest, I'm exhausted.” in a sorry tone, you waited for him to offer something else. You instantaneously forced the never-to-come-true visions away from your thoughts, even though you really wanted to go on a date with him. It wouldn't be a date, but it would be a nice moment. However, it would only get your situation worse.
“You wasted the opportunity. After that, you're going to eat anything Sammy orders.”
You smiled and responded, “I'm okay with that,” but you couldn't help but worr if Jo was still there.
Your face sank unintentionally, remembering the noises she'd made with Dean last night and how he'd been distant when you two chatted. You didn't want Dean and Jo's relationship to fail if it would harm Dean in any way, but you were unable to give up and were hoping that she wouldn't be around for tonight at the very least. Undoubtedly, your body was worn out, but your heart was spent beyond comprehension. 
Dean occasionally glanced at you, and thoughts of you and Robert were constantly racing through his head. He was thinking a lot of things at once—things that would make him see red, things that would make him angry, and things that would make Dean want to punch Robert in the face. 
“Have you slept with him?” unexpectedly Dean asked in a stern voice that made you stiffen in hurt and disgust.
Though he didn't want to sound so harsh and judgmental, Dean couldn't resist posing the question. He had to know the answer, even if he had no idea why.
You said, “What?” your heart thumping with pain. You never wanted to tell Dean that he was your one and only and how much you gave of yourself to him that night. “How could you ask such a question?”
Dean said, “It's a simple question,” as if he were defending himself. His attitude altered upon witnessing your expression transform to one of disappointment and rage. He wasn't sure if it was really necessary to get the answer. “Did you get fucked by him?”
You responded angrily, “He's my friend,” yet both of you stiffened at the words. Your body was filled with shame, and your heart ached from the burden. All you needed was Dean making no mention of wanting to cause you more damage. Wasn't it enough?
He said, “I am your friend too,” which made you tense up in your seat. “But things happen.”
You told him sternly, “You're being too much,” while doing your best not to seem pathetic or reveal how upset you were. “I can't believe you.” 
“Why are you not answering the question?” Again, he lost his temper. Dean noticed that his tolerance was wearing thin and that the pictures that were filling his mind were not helping the situation. He was aware that he shouldn't have said those things, but whatever. Fuck that. He wanted to know. He needed to know.
You snapped, “Of course not, Dean!” as a wave of rage overcame you. You wished he would have remained silent the entire way. Both of you should have stayed quiet.
Dean fought himself not to exhale in relief as a sensation of ease exploded in his heart. He didn't understand the significance of your connection with Robert or if it mattered if he really fucked you. However, the very idea was plenty to irritate him. You deserved better than this haughty, dumb man. It was such a simple question. That was it.
You didn't ask Dean whether he loved wounding your heart these days or why he was acting like an asshole. It pained your heart to see his suspicious look, even if you had no intention of telling him that he was your first to not ruin whatever you had from the beginning. If you told him the truth, you weren't sure how he would react. But knowing that he was still distant from you, you were unable to find the trust that you needed. You had no idea how he would react.
You said, “I want to go home,” in an icy tone, though you didn't actually mean it. You desired more time to be with him. It hurt so much to not be around him. Your eyes welled with tears, but you forced them back as your need for him reminded you of how pathetic you truly were to him.
He had an innate ability of ruining a nice moment just when you thought everything was going well. You realized that in order to stop him from hurting you, you needed to find a method to physically separate from him rather than cling to him. If nothing else, perhaps you could convey to him the meaning of his behavior and how easily his sharp words hurt you. Maybe someday.
“We're already-”
But you soon interrupted, saying, “My home.”
When he proposed that you have dinner at a restaurant, you should have accepted. Maybe you would chat about things that could break the ice between you, or even better, maybe you would find a way to bring up the young girl you took care of and her thoughts about love. Maybe he would act a little differently, acting more kind and cheerful rather than staring at you with rage. If only you had known which way to go to win him over, so much may have been different.
Next Chapter
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A/N: Please, let me know what you think about this one. I hope you like it. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated! They keep me going. ^^
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astrolook · 2 months ago
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Retrograde Mercury in the Houses
First of all, Mercury Rx in your birth chart isn't a glitch, it's a feature.
✨ Mercury Rx in Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sag) – The Bluetooth connection that works only when they’re standing on one leg, facing north, at precisely 3:33 AM. Loud, passionate, but often misunderstood because they speak before the signal stabilizes.
✨ Mercury Rx in Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Cap) – The software update that takes forever to install, but when it does, it’s flawless. They think before they speak, but people still misinterpret them because they communicate in a slow, calculated way.
✨ Mercury Rx in Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aqua) – The Wi-Fi that should be fast but keeps glitching. Their thoughts are rapid, but their words come out jumbled. They rewrite messages a hundred times before sending, yet somehow, they still get left on read.
✨ Mercury Rx in Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) – The deep web browser that sees things no one else does. Their words are drenched in emotion, layered with hidden meanings. They communicate telepathically (because honestly, explaining themselves in words is exhausting).
Mercury Rx in 1st house - These natives words tumble out of their mouth like a badly loaded webpage. Your brain is fast, but your mouth is buffering and you mispronounce words a lot. This placement natives watches movies with subtitles on even for their own language. Rewatches things just to "get it". Have their own slang. When they type, their autocorrect betrays them. Loves music that feels like a personal soundtrack and listen to songs on repeat. A misunderstood protagonist really.
Mercury Rx in 2nd house - These natives are the slow but steady thinker. Like they pause a lot before speaking, people think they're deep, but they're just trying to remember the word for "fork". Loves slow-burn dramas and hates overly complex sci-fi plots. Listens to the same five artists forever. Loves classic rock, R&B, or jazz—something timeless. Hates overproduced music.
Mercury Rx in 3rd house - Talks fast, stumbles over words, or randomly loses their train of thought. In some cases, they sound sarcastic even if they're serious and don't mean to. Loves multitasking like watches TV while texting, scrolling and half-listening to a podcast. This placement learns vocabulary and phrases through memes, twitter slang, or duolingo threats. Their music taste is genre-fluid. Listens to rap, hyperpop, EDM, and podcasts at the same time. Will pause a song midway to send a text.
Mercury Rx in 4th house - Have an "old soul' way of speaking. Probably sound exactly like their parents/grandparents without even realizing it and some people around them could have told them about it. Writes handwritten letters and doodle in their free time or while in class. Rewatches childhood favorites for comfort. Prefers old movies and refuses to watch a bad remake. Makes a lot of spelling mistakes in their own language. Probably still keep their old notebook and drawings. Obsessed with childhood favs. Loves soft acoustic, old-school pop, or the one song their parents always played.
Mercury Rx in 5th house - The way these natives describe basic things involves cinematic screenplay. Probably wrote a overly detailed fanfic or an unpublished novel. Loves over-the-top dramas, reality TV, or anything with messy plot twists. Probably memorized a whole anime/movie opening before knowing what it meant. If these natives wanna learn a language, it's mostly through songs and movies. Also their inner monologue could be dramatic and sounds like Shakespeare. In music, listens to anything that makes the natives feel like the main character.
Mercury Rx in 6th house - Damn. Don't ask these natives "How are you?". They will give you a full detailed report. Talks and writes in bullet points. These natives watches informative or detailed YouTube videos like restoration videos, primitive survival, science documentaries "for relaxation". Lo-fi beats, instrumental music, or podcasts instead of songs. Prefers music that helps them focus.
Mercury Rx in 7th house - These natives adapts their way of speaking based on who they’re talking to. Also could convince anyone they have the same interests. Into arts and crafts. Loves romcoms and dialogue-heavy movies. Also psychoanalyze people a bit too much. Loves duets, soft indie, or romantic sad songs. Will make a playlist for every relationship they’ve ever had.
Mercury Rx in 8th house - These natives are cryptic texters and speakers. They speak in riddles. This placement makes the native to hide their true opinions and make them say things they don't really want to due to fear of criticism or being labeled a misogynist. Sometimes convey their true opinions in the most cryptic way possible. Watches crime documentaries and loves dark, psychological themes. Listens to dark, moody, or hauntingly beautiful. Think Lana Del Rey, The Weeknd, retro songs or anything with eerie instrumentals.
Mercury Rx in 9th house - These natives are really good at giving TED talks and for writing long-winded essays, even in casual texts. Uses "however", "anyways" in DMs. Loves to watch travel vlogs, historical dramas, other language movies and likes philosophical anime/movies. Loves music with deep lyrics and listens to songs in different languages.
Mercury Rx in 10th house - These natives have a sense of professionalism even when they order food. A level of sophistication. These people uses proper punctuation in texts and draft emails for hours before sending. Loves business dramas. Watches TED talks and political speeches. These people probably has a certification related to their career. Listens to motivational rap or music that makes them feel productive.
Mercury Rx in 11th house - Their speech is 50% memes and 50% conspiracy theories. Writes in lower case letters. Uses 'lmao' and 'lol' to soften every message. Watches niche web series, obscure YouTube channels, and indie films. Their vocabulary comes from internet slang and discord convos. Not into mainstream pop.
Mercury Rx in 12th house - These people say something vague, a week later, it would turn out to be weirdly accurate. Their journal entries would look like prophecies, their vivid dreams and psychic visions. Loves watching horror, surreal, experimental films. Loves songs that makes them forget their own life and dream about themselves in that song.
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