#-health and whatnot and how 'being yourself is a trap'

[ranger-kellyn]

ANYWAYS your boy got TWO bonuses at work this pay period i'm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[billythesimp]

Hello, writer! Sorry to bother you. I really like your "x reader" works, they are amazing.. I really can't even find the words to describe my admiration.

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) Anyway, I have an idea. Can I request Anton and Lycaon (separately) with short reader? (preferably male, but gender neutral is also ok!) Reader has no physical strength , he is the "Brain of the team", and therefore in dangerous moments he need to be protected.

If you don't like the request, then feel free to skip it! Take care of yourself, don't forget to rest :"3

[Grasping my chest while gritting my teeth, a faint pink on my skin]

I got a compliment- I fucken love you- 💞💞💖💖

[Is proceeded to get bonked with a shoe, an annoyed Bangboo staring at their sibling human in disbelief]

Ahem- thank you very much! hell works hard but ZZZ writers work faster.

Short Stuff

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎…

Man, I love Anton. If I could I would marry him. So this can seem a little goof, goofy writing since I try to distinct the boys and the reader from time to time, hopefully it's to your liking!

Anton / Lycaon x Short-Male!Reader

𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡…⋙

tw: none?

✦ Being short has its pros, especially in the Hollows as you're usually a smaller target and can sneak around easier. Which is convenient since they’re not the strongest of the bunch, only really having enough to get them by the heavy lifting that is rarely called upon them to deal with. Really, he works in finances and research on the construction site, being another pair of eyes for Koleda to call upon should she need more supervision on their projects, how Anton caught their attention was beyond their understanding. Yet, Anton is always seeking them out personally before dragging them along into his little crew.

✦ Because of this, he loves to use them as an armrest for his arm or sometimes; his bro. Of course if you're a friend of Anton, you're a friend of his bro, and so far his bro really likes him, always roaring at the sight of him whenever they go out to find them. From the looks of it, he is ok with Anton’s bro, though there have been times where Anton’s bro has at least jumpscared him from behind when sneaking up on them. They both got a good scolding from him. 

✦ As mentioned before, he does go into the hollows with the crew from time to time, mainly as an observer and informant. They aren’t the strongest and so they can’t really help out a lot unless it’s along the lines of carrying files or pushing storage carts around. If Anton is ever with them, best believe that any heavy lifting is his work, never letting his ‘bro’ carry anything as he doesn’t want them to strain their muscles. Really it’s an excuse to be of help to them and have a casual conversation; As if they don’t do that enough. But combat- no, they aren’t fit for those kind of situations. 

✦ Hence when a sudden ethereal attack happens on the crew on site, everyone is at alarm before running for safety. At that moment, he’s not able to escape in time before getting trapped between cargo and boxes of shipment, tucked behind it as they hear the eerie distorted growls of the creatures lurking around the corners. But the roar of a powerful hand drill cuts through the air as Anton leaps into the fight, yelling for him to run to safety with a clear opening. Moving along in a hurry, the two regroup with the workers as another group is dispatched to clear the site once again so they could return to work. That is after everyone is taken back for a health inspection.

✦ Anton is by his side the entire time as they recount what resources were destroyed, workers on the roster and whatnot to Koleda, sticking to his side incase they suddenly feel faint after being exposed to ethereals at that close range. While he’s convinced it’s cuz he wants to make sure his bro is alright, in reality he was worried when he spotted them in the attack and leaped into action to protect them. Losing him would be like losing his bro, someone he cared dearly for. He would make sure he was safe no matter what, because that’s how much he meant to him.

✦ Working with Lycaon is like working with someone of equal stature. If you had to pick who the leading figures of Victorian Housekeeping are, they’d say you and Lycaon. The both of you work diligently with every commission and assignment, like clockwork with how they’re able to move in sync. Should Lycaon need someone to relay information regarding any subject, he’d turn to him. In a similar fashion, should you need someone to deal with our reconsense or transferring larger packages and items, Lycaon is more than willing to lead his strength.

✦ Admittedly, Lycaon has offered to help him grow some more muscle here and there, as well as develop a suitable fighting style. The times the two had gone to a gym to practice, Lycaon can’t help but put his hands on them. Of course, he’s only lending a hand in guiding them through their practices, but seeing how small and slim they are in some areas, he could only wonder if he’s taking good care of himself. This only leads him to wonder if he should monitor their diet as well to ensure they are getting the right amount of nutrients. 

✦ When Von needs help with anything, he’ll always go to them as he is confidence in their ability to complete any task with perfection. And anytime he thanks them or even praises Lycaon for a job well-done, he can’t help but twitch his ears and fluff up his tail a little out of pride. Lycaon makes an effort to help all his workers, as a boss it’s only right to look after them, however Rina has teased him for picking favorites. It’s not his fault you ask him for his height when they needed something on the top shelf. He swore those plates were never that high up. 

✦ Within the hollows should they dare venture in, he works more in the back as support. Comming any details within the area and alerting the group of any potential dangers. Also a technical genius, they are in charge of any computers and machinery, though Lycaon stands close by should anything go awry. He looms over them, sometimes asking them about how they are processing it or updating them on their surroundings. Should anything come up, he’d always request they take cover ‘just case’ before swiftly dealing with the issue. 

✦ The way he pulls them behind him, Lycaon will work like a monster to keep him safe. The thought of their smaller figure curled up beneath the enemy only motivating him to stay close and keep them in his line of sight. Von will not be having any close calls with his staff, let alone him. Every instance they enter a new layer of the hollow or step into a new room, he’ll always reach behind him to feel for their smaller hands, only satisfied once he can feel them trailing right behind him.

[zzencat]

Hi teddy♡ would like to get a 18+ reading.

My name : Rhea🦢🩵🌪️🍭

My Zodiac : ♌

My questions are here :

When/how will I meet my future spouse?

What's my future spouse reaction/thoughts about me when he sees me naked for very the first time?

How my sex life with my future spouse?

Thanku teddy🧸💋

thank you for waiting Rhea!!! here is your ask!! 😎 (you’ll also see a prev ask under the cut)

when/how:

you might meet your future spouse after a breakup or some kind of cut off communication with someone. they might’ve messed you over or stabbed you in the back, but you’ll get up

i think you deal with a bit of negative energy tho, it could be sadness or hopelessness or pessimism, but the cards are telling you to not give up and put some work in that mindset. don’t let things get you down and definitely don’t let it affect your relationships with others

i would also advise for you to follow your heart more sometimes rather than your head, and give yourself more emotional care and nurturing. sometimes, you really do have to slow down and listen to the little therapist in the back of your brain, even if they’re a lil rookie at it

i do think you’re meant to feel shitty before you meet your fs- maybe you feel that all the time? maybe even now, you’re at a worse place and period in your life. this is def an indicator of a turning point for sure tho, and even if you think you’re stuck, there are things being put in place without you knowing it 😌

there’s also a lot of need for balance here so make sure your financials and emotional health is being cared for. don’t forget your social life as well!

and don’t forget: it’s okay to feel pain. let it strengthen you, make you more resilient so that your heart can be more flexible, accepting, and comfortable. you gotta let it happen. marinate in negative feelings and mourn, let it truly process in your head- and i mean, TRULY process. let that shit bake in there, acknowledge that that is what you’re feeling and that it will strengthen you and help you understand your emotions better.

he might have some kind of delayed reaction or blank out when he sees you naked for the first time! you’ll distract all of his thoughts and bring a total blood rush to his under areas. two ways this could go: (1) he might act on the opportunity without thinking OR (2) he’ll have the idea and the image of your body imprinted in his head but he doesn’t now how to react or what to do (kinda like sitting on the bed, mouth open and just staring typa thing, which is amazing but at the same time he needa act so that he doesn’t lose the chance)

ok so your sex life might be seen as a bit of a chore. i see you both being busy as bees, focused on work or money making. you both will definitely have fun n have a bunch of orgasms and whatnot, but sometimes, your mind will be somewhere else occupied with your job or maybe changing something up. i think it could get boring, but you wouldn’t admit this to him. i think he’s having a fine time, but you would prob prefer a bit more spice so you might think of some new things. but if you had any close friends that you told this too, they prob would think you’re trapping yourself like that on purpose and not trying to change things up sexually. eventually, you will but there needs to be a bit of spontaneous action and impulsivity. ya gotta let loose and have fun as if yall were fucking for the first time, everything else aside. you might feel the responsibility to change it up and it could either tire you or discourage you from spicing it up, but do keep the advice in mind. it’s recommended that you don’t do things by the book and get a lil crazy with it.

that’s pretty much it Rhea! thank you again 😄

[silverxts]

a shitty analysis of c!dream's self-destructive behaviour and how he's treated.

tw for prison arc things

all /dsmp /rp

alright! so, i was thinking while watching the lore stream, how dream was prepared with extra food when sam hadn't come in to feed them in two weeks, really shows how little the warden thinks of dream and how inhumane the situation is. dream saving up food is not a one-time thing, it has happened MULTIPLE times, and somehow he still used to say (not sure about now) how sam was treating him fine. no point in particular with this to be honest, I just think it's interesting to point out how long dream has been mistreated and how serious it takes a toll on his mental health.

He's obviously self-destructive, dream in my opinion, has always been a self-destructive character, he's self-harmed by burning himself way too many times to count, and sam obviously doesn't see a problem with this, even saying how he's doing it for attention. there's two things I have to say about this.

first of all, someone hurting themselves 'for attention' is never an excuse to be a shitty person to them and saying that. if people hurt themselves for attention there is very obviously something wrong. sam dehumanizes dream thinking that he deserves it, and that it's nothing, that if dream was 'normal' or didn't hurt anyone he wouldn't resort to this.

second of all, it seems to be that dream has now resorted to pain to live. he's been tortured and isolated for so long he's lost some sense of emotions, and I think he seems to depend on burning himself to live.

he's become unable to protect himself over the course of 6 months (?) that he's been trapped alone. and the entire time, sam, quackity, tommy, sapnap have all told him how horrible of a human being he is, of how he deserves to be stuck in prison, quackity tells dream how much he deserves to be tortured.

now that's gotta have some sort of mental effect right? not having anyone but your torturer visit you for months straight and telling you how shitty you are takes a toll. and people who say 'he's manipulating them and pretending to be hurt' im sorry but kindly shut the fuck up. negative feedback of self increases your negative view of yourself. I'm sorry but the possibility of him just simply taking the torture and not being affected whatsoever is very low.

while we don't see a lot of verbal self-hate, it is safe to assume that c!dream has some sort of these thoughts. i think it's also safe to say that he's also a pretty suicidal person, often throwing himself into the lava and whatnot. he doesn't seem to want to die though, obviously by how scared he seemed to be from quackity threatening to kill him and his denial when sapnap said he would too.

what do I think will happen when he escapes?

i honestly, if I'm going by being realistic, I highly doubt he's going to 'kill the whole server and manipulate everyone' its so stupid to make that assumption. he might, sure, he might turn all that negative energy into anger and just implode, but he wont manipulate anyone, it's pretty clear everyone on the server hates him.

he has nowhere to go when he leaves the prison, he's traumatized as fuck, no friends, no armor and about 20+ people going against him. what can he possibly do? run away, get as far as possible and heal, it would be what's best for him and his mental health. will that happen? probably not but it's nice to think that dream will finally catch a break :)

[spice-chan]

Runaway Omega

Chapter 2

The youngest prince of the ice kingdom was done .

Due to his upbringing , he lived an oppressive, but painfully lonely life . All he ever wanted was to have someone to ease the pain when the malevolence in his heart got too much , he didn’t hope to get rid of said malevolence anymore , just ease it .

But the life if a prince can’t be that easy . After King Enji united the fire kingdom with the ice one through marriage , he was working through creating the product that would be the perfect insignia of his union . A prince who had both his mothers ice powers and his fathers fire . His brothers , with their powers, were only capable of ruling one kingdom due to inheriting either ice or fire.

Now that Shoto was pushed past his limit, he decided to take no more of this mistreatment. Maybe losing his perfect masterpiece will give up a wake up call .

So now heres Shoto , on the run .

His only regret was being too naive . So when Shoto heard an omega scream, he immediately leapt to her aid, not expecting it to be a trap. Shoto was immediately struck unconscious by some magic, robbed, and beaten. The assailants took him in their carriage and threw him near an ocean .

Had he not being on deaths door when he opened his eyes, maybe he would have appreciated the beautiful serene ocean, or the equally beautiful Omega peering at him.

.......

After settling into the ice Kingdom after leaving your former home behind , you settle into a little, inconspicuous, cozy village.

How you came to be here is both uneventful yet memorable. You can still remember the lingering feelings of hesitation and doubt as you stared at the castle that you used to reside in, yet the feeling most prominent of all is pain. That place will no longer be your home, yet its what it has always been. Ever since you were old enough to remember and store memories.

But no matter, you will lock those feelings away, after all; you didn’t belong there anymore. Not after Bakugo played with you like a fiddle, then tossed you like an over worn glove. Replaceable and a mere distraction.

So you set on your journey to the known, walking an unfamiliar path, for once, alone.

Or so you thought , as you questioned why your omega was quiet. Even with suppressants, there was still risk of her slipping into omega depression, but all you received from her is silence. Then came a change of scent, making your smell even sweeter.

So, maybe you weren’t alone after all. You seemed to be expecting a little companion on the way.

And how you managed that medium sized house, secluded enough to be in touch with nature, but not enough to completely isolate you from the market in the village, is a unique story too.

You met an Alpha and her injured Omega during one if your house hunts. He was in bad shape, knocking on death door, but you didn’t allow the door to be opened. As a healer, you managed to nurse the man back to health using a bit of healing magic and some medicine you whipped up.

The Alpha, in her immense gratitude, offered you the house as a token of appreciation ; “a price so small in comparison to saving my mate”. The old mates bond seemed bittersweet to you.

Even in your insistence that she shouldn’t feel indebted, the Alpha assured you that as a Yaoyorozu, they were not on shortage of money. She also insisted that you send her letters, having figured out your expecting soon, and even if not, she seemed somehow protective of you. A pregnant Omega, alone and without home. Perhaps that old lady wanted to be your pillar after you were hers.

You thought the drama was over .

Little did you know, the ocean barely begun rippling. A huge wave is coming, followed by a tornado.

............

Having decided to leave your bed after afternoon struck, you opted for a walk in the ocean near your house after your stomach ft too queasy for a late breakfast.

I walked along the awing ocean, looking at the blue water softly swaying without care , dampening the sand and coming close to touching your toes , but never quite making contact , enjoying the crisp air that had a hint if salt and iron.

Iron.

Fuck .

You immediately whipped your head to look in panic , no longer in a trance . You walked in a hurry, nose sniffing the air for the foreboding smell, until you found its source.

A young Alpha, with hair split evenly between icy white and flaming red, the scarlet of his hair rivalling the blood puddling around him in both colour and essence.

You released a chirp of distress, but tried to calm yourself as you were possibly the inly one who can help him in this shituation. You went to feel a pulse, glad when you detected a faint one. Although you had a small bump and small stature, you still managed to drag him with gruelling effort, his feet dragging behind him as you held his arms and moved him along.

Hauling him was impossible, so you settled for the next best thing.

After a laborious fee minutes, you arrived home, putting him in your bed as you quickly started incanting healing magic on him . Your worry lessened as you found his wounds slowly patching themselves, leaving nothing but faint pink scars to tell the tale in their wake. Even after his wounds all closed, the man remained unconscious due to the fatigue his body had to endure due to blood loss and whatnot .

You left the man to rest as you went to the kitchen to prepare some soup which you will fill with different herbs to aid in his recovery, feeling a new sense of purposefulness. You moved along with practised ease, finishing the dish and carrying it to sit beside the still unconscious man, Alpha, as you surmised by his scent.

You stirred the soup absentmindedly, deep in thought about the handsome stranger. For once, your mind was occupied. Even though your Omega was too busy fussing over the pup to care too much about your recent rejection, your mind still wondered sometimes to him. But now all you though , what happened to this man ?, who’s he ?

In your daze, you didn’t notice the foggy alert eyes watching your movement like a hawk .

[rwbyvein]

Firen Lhain:  Chapter 604:  Four: Part III/III

Jaune at on one of the couches. RWBY sat on the other two. "I... still can't believe that worked..."

"What is this?," Yang asked, "a joke to you?"

"I've never been more serious in my life." Jaune stated. "Four amazonian Huntresses just confessed to me, and then agreed to share me!"

Ruby and Yang sat eagerly sitting forward, Weiss sat elegantly, and Blake looked like the cat that ate the canary.

"So?," Blake, "why the spankings?"

"I thought it would break the spell."

"Like magic?" Ruby asked, "Who cast magic?.."

"He doesn't mean it literally." Weiss stated.

"It's a metaphor." Blake added, "What he means is that this is all a dream."

With that Ruby pinched Yang.

"Yo?" Yang angrily asked her.

"You felt it!" Ruby stated.

"What?" Weiss asked.

"You can't feel pain in your dreams." Blake stated, "But are supposed to pinch YOURSELF!"

As she said this Yang pinched Ruby in return. "You feel that, sis?"

"It's not a dream!" Ruby shouted.

Jaune sighed into his hands.

"So?," Blake asked Jaune, "the spell didn't break; this is real?"

"Wait?," Yang asked, "he spanked us because of magic?"

"The magic of sisters!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Now that the magic is dispelled, and we are all, here." Jaune said, and stood up, "And all committed, there is one more step you girls must take."

"I kind of think we've done plenty." Yang strongly voiced.

"Perhaps we hear him out, and then admonish him?" Weiss asked.

"I guess that makes sense." Yang said, and Jaune breathed in deep.

"Alright, so, here's the thing, I was raised traditionally. I won't sleep with a woman I wouldn't marry."

"And just which one of us wouldn't you marry?" Weiss asked, "Is it Yang?"

"Hey?!" Yang replied.

Jaune once again sighed and looked them back in their eyes. "I would marry any one of you in a heartbeat."

"Then, what's the problem?" Yang asked.

"I suppose, maybe, ourselves." Weiss stated. "And perhaps the fact that we - cannot - in fact, all marry."

"We can in Menagerie." Blake stated.

"We can what?" Yang asked.

"Seriously?" Jaune asked, "I guess we're all Faunus, so they'd likely accept us."

"We could, also, engage in a committed relationship," Weiss added, "even if not approved by the Kingdoms."

"So," Yang asked, "I'd be what?"

"Concubine." Blake stated.

"She really likes that word." Nora said from the sidelines, and all eyes were on her. Nora nervously waved. "I... guess... I mmaayybbee shouldn't have said that."

"We apologize for our interuption." Ren added.

"Buuuut!" Nora shouted, "it does kind of affect us."

"I suppose..." Weiss voiced, "she does... make a valid point..."

"It is kind of our thing," Yang said, "so maybe she can keep her trap shut."

"We once again apologize." Ren stated.

"So, what?.." Ruby asked, "we can't marry, but we can kind-of marry?"

"Exactly!" Nora shouted from the sidelines.

Jaune thought for a moment, "The commitment will be good enough, I guess."

"And what, exactly, are we committing to?" Weiss asked, "For the sake of clarity."

"Love, honour, obey?" Jaune asked, "In sickness and in health, to death do us part?"

"Kind of heavy..." Yang voiced, and all eyes were on her. She looked back up at Jaune, "But... if we're all in on this... I could be serious for once in my life. Jaune said this was the most serious thing he's ever done, but it's the same for me. Maybe worse for me. I spent my childhood kind of being a bit of a thrillseeker, but just now, the like year we've known each other means more to me than the rest of my life. Going forward or backwards."

"Can I say it?!" Nora asked.

"Say what?" Ruby asked her.

"The gang's all here. Now we can die together!" Nora shouted.

"Aw, shit, I'm sure we can think of a better way to..." Yang tried to say, but Weiss stood up.

"A marvelous way of putting it. Now, Ruby, your thoughts?"

"Okay... I mean... I am kind of the leader... so I guess it makes sense you guys would get to shack up with the guy I'm with, I mean..."

Weiss breathed in deeply a few times before being able to say anything. "How do you feel about Jaune?"

"Oh, like, he's so wicked-cool-awesome-giant-strong, but so are all of you!"

"Except the giant part." Weiss voiced.

"I don't know..." Yang voiced, "with the way she carries herself around, you'd think the world revolved around her."

Weiss blushed and looked down. She then looked up at Ruby, satisfied that Ruby was finished. She then cleared her throat, looking at Jaune. "You have been far too kind to me."

"I... what?.." Jaune asked.

"Even?.." Yang asked, "all the times... he..."

"He was perhaps a bit overbearing." Weiss stated, but looked R_BY and Jaune in the eyes, "But can any of you honestly say that I am not as well?" No one could say anything in reply. She then continued looking between everyone, "When I first came down to Vale, I thought the world owed me everything, but... then I found a place to belong. Perhaps the FIRST place I've ever belonged. Our mottley crew is more of a family than mine ever was. For me, when I was small..." she voiced, "small... er... family was more about dynastic concerns than, you know, mutual support and whatnot. But, thanks in large part to our sisters, and their... unsual... but loving family, I have seen the error of my ways."

"What she means," Yang stated, "is that she's in."

"Hm... I mean... yes..." Weiss voiced, "Blake?"

"Yes." Blake stated, and everyone started at her, "What?," she asked, "there's no way I could possibly say everything I want to say, so... yes..."

Yang then raised her hand, "So... when do we get to... you know?.."

Jaune looked at them for a pregnant moment. "You should all... first..."

"We should all what, first?" Ruby asked.

"I think he means..." Yang voiced.

"Oh, that's what he means." Blake added.

"What?" Ruby asked, and Blake grabbed Weiss' hand. Weiss nervously looked towards her when Blake moved in to passionately kiss her on the lips.

"What?" Yang asked, but looked over to find Ruby trying to do the same to her. "Chill for a minute." Yang said."

"For a minute." Ruby said, as she slowly backed off.

"So, like, what?" Yang asked.

"I don't want this to be a you and me thing; I want you all to be happy together."

"I suppose it would avoid discord in the hareem..." Weiss voiced.

"You girls are all wicked hot." Yang added, only to recoil as she saw Ruby coming in for another kiss. She held her off with a hand, "So... uh... even me and Ruby?" Yang nervously asked, but Jaune said nothing, just watching. Reluctantly Yang let go of Ruby who dove in to kiss her on the lips.

Qrow then walked out to the middle of the group. Once Ruby pulled back from Yang and the two caught their breath he spoke, "Alright, now that you kids have that all worked out, maybe we should talk about getting to Atlas, or something?"

"Spoiler." Yang said to him.

"I hate to rain on your parade, kids, but apparently someone has to." Qrow continued. "Now, the easiest way into Atlas is through Argus, but, word on the street has the borders still shut. Why don't we ask Weiss' pet?"

"Hello?" Aurora said as she walked up.

"Aurora?" Weiss questioned her nonchalance.

"Sadly," Aurora stated, "none of my connections have a way into Atlas. You cannot get in without direct approval from the Atlas Council."

"General Ironwood," Weiss voiced, "has two seats on the Atlas council."

"Which means?," Jaune asked, "if we convince him?.."

"Convincing him is not the hard part." Qrow voiced, "despite our differences, we go way back, and even if he doesn't believe in Ozpin himself, he believes in his ideals. Maybe in a bit of a different way No, the problem is talking to him. The CCT is still down, and it's hard to get anything into Atlas, and it's not like James can just come right out and support me."

"Why not?" Nora asked, and Qrow drank from his flask.

"Seriously?" Yang asked him.

"Like?.." Jaune added, "aren't you hung over like the rest of us."

"Ever hear of Hair of the Dog?" Qrow asked. "Anyways, that's one of the reasons, I'm an unkept alcoholic who has... let's say... issues... with authority."

"Welcome to the club." Jaune said to him.

"You're not an alcoholic," Qrow said to him, "at least not yet. But it's one of the things... we work in secret. If people start looking into us and find out about the Maidens, and Salem, and," he said, and paused a moment, "can you imagine it?"

"Bedlam." Ren stated.

"Panic in the street." Blake added.

"And that's why James has to pretend he doesn't like me..." Qrow voiced, "heh... pretend..."

"Aurora?" Jaune asked.

"Yes, sir?" she replied.

"Sir?" he asked.

"Yes, sir?" Aurora replied.

"uh?.."

"Honey?" Weiss asked him.

"Honey?" he replied.

"We perhaps still have yet to decide this." Weiss continued.

"Anyways..." Jaune said to Aurora, "can your connections... get a message to him?"

"oh?!" Aurora exclaimed, "Several, in fact."

"Let's use all of them." Jaune stated.

"Like... ALL of them?" Yang asked.

"Blake said her father sent a messager, right?" Jaune asked.

"It," Ilia voiced, and all heads turned to look at her, "was probably Yuma."

"I did not mean to disturb you at all." Aurora voiced.

"More things to talk about." Blake added.

"Yes, all." Jaune said to Aurora. "Or like, a dozen?"

"As soon as James sees Qrow Branwen on his desk, he'll act." Qrow said, "It might be to punch me... but..." and shrugged.

"And... in the mean time?.." Ren asked.

"Train." Qrow stated, and drew his scythe, pointing it at Ren and Nora.

"Can I fight Yang?!" Nora exclaimed. "Or you?, how about you?"

Qrow put his scythe away, "I'm kind of the teacher, so no. How about you fight Jaune?"

"Pft." Nora stated, "That's like treason or something."

Weiss and Blake looked Jaune in the eyes.

"I... have learned... to accept..." Jaune voiced, "mostly accept... the high opinion Nora has of me... high... and low... Still don't understand it."

"HE'S OUR GLORIOUS LEADER!" Nora exclaimed.

"I do love her enthusiasm." Yang added.

[interstellarflare]

Back to You - Thomas Shelby

-EPILOGUE-

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, angst.

Summary: After your relationship with Tommy hits a rough patch, you decide to try and calm yourself down with a few drinks at the bar. But after a few drinks too many, what happens when Tommy comes to take you home?

Author’s Note: This is it, the final installment of the series! I am literally speechless at how well this series has been received. All I can say is thank you so much for your support, you guys are literally the best. But not to worry, this isn’t the end of my Thomas Shelby x Reader Imagines. Once again, thank you all so much. A Masterlist will be released soon!

It had been Ada who noticed it first, having been through the very same thing herself. She had assured me that the morning sickness would fade, but all I remember thinking was that it couldn’t be over soon enough. Tommy hadn't noticed, of course, being so busy with the Peaky Blinders and whatnot, but he was growing concerned for my health. I kept avoiding the subject, telling him that it was just a bug and that I would be over it soon. But how was I supposed to tell him that I was pregnant with his child?

Having been trapped in bed all morning, and thanks to Ada as well as Polly’s gracious care, I was up and walking a little after lunch, still feeling somewhat queasy, but nevertheless fine. As I sat at the kitchen table sipping lightly on a small glass of water, Polly sat down across from me. “You need to tell him Y/n...” she stated firmly for about the third day in a row “...he needs to know-” “And what if he isn’t ready!?” I suddenly snapped, throwing my arms out in exasperation “I’m not even sure if I’m ready” I mumbled lowly, lowering my gaze to the glass on the table with a heavy sigh.

It was then that I felt a gentle hand place itself on my shoulder “Tommy loves you Y/n, for god’s sake he proposed to you. And I know one thing for sure is that if he loves you, he will love your child just as much” she finished, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly. A heavy silence passed over the three of us as I remained incredibly still, contemplating on my options. He would find out sooner or later after all. “Would you like us to come with you?” Polly suggested, leaning forward over the table to grasp my hand in hers, “I heard from John that him, Arthur and Tommy will be at the Garrison...maybe with Ada and I there it would-” “No, no...this is something I have to do myself” I spoke nervously, cautiously standing up from my seat whilst fiddling awkwardly with my hands. Taking a deep breath and with one final glance towards Ada and Polly, I left the house and began to make my way towards the Garrison, nervously greeting everyone that called out to me with an awkward smile.

As soon as I stepped inside, I was greeted by Harry behind the bar. “How are you Mrs. Shelby?” he asked politely, leaning on the bartop with a welcoming grin. I laughed, shaking my head in amusement “We’re not married yet Harry” I responded, causing said man to shrug his shoulders “I know, I’m just excited for you as all” he chuckled, before gesturing his head over towards one of the booths. “Tommy’s over there if you’re looking for him” he informed, before quickly leaving to attend to one of his regular customers. Nodding nervously, I sighed shakily looked around the pub, my gaze eventually landing on the Shelby brothers discussing something in one of the corner booths. I began to slowly approach, suddenly feeling queasy once again to the extent where I thought I would be sick there and then. 

“Y/n!” John called out, waving excitedly as I approached. Realizing that there was now no way out of this, I approached their booth with a bright smile, greeting Arthur with a small nod as I stood beside Tommy with my hands placed awkwardly behind my back. “Good morning love...” Tommy spoke warmly, moving around in his seat in order to make room for my person. “Morning...” I responded, sitting down beside him as he placed a gentle kiss to my cheek. “Are you feeling better?” he asked, looking me over with an expression of concern. With a nod of my head, I smiled reassuringly “I’m feeling much better, thank you. Actually, Tommy, there’s something that I wanted to tell you...maybe in private?” I spoke just above a whisper, staring up at him nervously. With his expression turning into one of confusion, it was Arthur who spoke next. “Y/n, we already know you’re engaged. Whatever you have to say to Tommy you can say to us, you are a part of the family now after all” he spoke kindly, pouring himself a glass of whiskey whilst he waited expectantly for me to speak.

My eyes widened in shock, my heart skipping a beat as my nerves suddenly took over my entire being. Turning my gaze towards Thomas, I gulped nervously and sighed shakily, placing my hands in my lap to try and stop myself from fidgeting. “O-Okay, um...well...” I stuttered, before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Once my eyes reopened, I bit my lip as I shakily reached out towards Tommy, taking his hands in my own. “Well...Tommy...how do you feel about becoming a father?” I asked him slowly, wincing slightly as I was suddenly afraid of his answer. I watched on in silence as the colour from Tommy’s face completely disappeared, his eyes widening in a mixture of disbelief, shock and bewilderment. In the corner of my eye, I watched as John’s mouth gaped open, his eyes fixated on both his brother and myself whilst Arthur spat out his whiskey, coughing and spluttering as he struggled to regain his breath.

“Are...Are you...” Tommy slowly trailed off, looking over my form before his eyes came to rest upon my own, searching for any sign of falsity. When I nodded my head in conformation, I braced myself for what was to come as uncertainty began to consume my entire being. What if he wasn’t ready? What if he didn’t want a child yet? What would I do if- Tommy swiftly lept forward, cupping my face with both of his hands as he placed a gentle but passionate kiss to my lips. The shock slowly faded as I soon kissed back, before Tommy pulled away with the most love-filled eyes I had ever seen. “I’m going to be a father?” he asked again in disbelief, to which I nodded my head eagerly in response, laughing joyously as he leaned forward and pulled me into a long embrace. “Fucking hell...” Arthur mused quietly “...I’m going to be an uncle”.

Sitting at the end of our bed, I stared down at the newly born baby boy that slept peacefully in my arms. Happy tears filled my eyes, a breathless laugh leaving my lips as I became filled with joy. “Mummy loves you...” I whispered quietly, staring down at my baby boy lovingly. 

A presence sat down beside me, causing me to turn my head to meet the loving expression of my husband, who’s eyes were fixated on the small bundle in my arms. “I’m proud of you...” he whispered, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me close to his side. I smiled, looking up at him with the same expression, “I’m proud of us...” I responded before a tiny gurgle drew my attention back to the baby in my arms. His eyes had finally opened, revealing mesmerizing icy-blue eyes. I chuckled “He has your eyes” I spoke excitedly, looking up at Tommy with a wide, bright smile. Tommy smiled in pure joy, his eyes never leaving his newly born son. “I love you, so much” he whispered, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on my forehead. I smiled in return, “I love you too” I replied, as Tommy placed his head on my shoulder. 

Soft snores eventually left my husband, causing me to chuckle quietly in amusement. Staring down at my family, I couldn’t help but feel proud and excited at starting a family. Despite everything we had gone through, our son had brought the Shelby family together, closer than they could have ever been. And to me, this was the beginning of something great. The beginning of something that would soon blossom into a loving household.  

Tag List:  @supermassiveblackhope @spaghettirogers @audioshoes   @gabriellepearce96 @twin-skltns @daisyxbuckley @arachnidscosmopoliton @affabletimelady @ljb-novels

[fairycosmos]

I don’t want to unload, but I’m struggling rn & I would appreciate a listening ear. I just finished a conversation with my parents and they appear to lack empathy & understanding regarding my mental state. My dad made fun of me self-harming & wanted me to go away. My mom thinks I’m faking depression, & that I’m repressing angry. She ridiculed my personality & whatnot. She also thinks that suicide attempters are cowardly. I have nobody who understands me & I’m just crying rn. I’m a teen.

hey angel. jesus, i'm so sorry you're in this situation right now and i can't even imagine the extent of how hard it must be. any anger or resentment or sadness or disappointment you're feeling is totally justified, a natural reaction to not being listened to. while it's all so painful to initially process, it's alright to let these emotions wash over you. cry if you need to, write it all down, accept it an hour at a time. as long as you're trying your best to keep yourself safe, which i recognise is unbelievably difficult when your mental health is not in great shape, but just attempting is honestly good enough. listen, your parents are completely fucking out of order and honestly disgusting for ridiculing the very real problems that you're facing at the moment, and i don't blame you at all for being hurt. mental illness is serious and so is harming yourself, and those factors should not be treated lightly. unfortunately, because they are your parents, i think it will always be difficult to think about them being so willfully ignorant. it's something i struggle with too, and a LOT of people do, you're truly not alone. which is cliche i guess, but it couldn't be more true. any way my point is that there comes a moment when you're growing up where you just realise that your parents are literally wrong and there's nothing you can do about it. it's not your fault that they don't take mental illness seriously, there is nothing you can physically do to make them see sense. which is awful, and you deserve better, but it's also kind of freeing to just see the situation for what it really is. their behaviour, while it impacts you, is not shaped by you. it's obviously very natural to look to your parents for guidance and support, but if they're not capable of giving it that's on them and it doesn't mean you're not deserving of help, or that you won't find it. your parents have shown that they know nothing about what you're going through or the seriousness of self harm, they have shown how shallow minded and egotistical they truly are. so what's the next logical step? you seek what you need else where. no matter how much you don't want to. this is about what you need, and there is maturity in that distinction.

i want to make it clear that i'm not saying you're not allowed to be devastated by your parent's response, or that it's easy to just move forward from something like this. it's not. it takes a lot of time and energy and personal growth, and it may be something you learn to manage over the course of your life as opposed to a singular hurdle. but that really is okay, there's no rush. getting better isn't linear. i just think you're so so capable of asking for help even if your mind is not allowing you to see it, because you were able to send this ask, you were able to talk to your parents even if they didn't choose to hear you. i'm not sure where you live or what the situation is, but as a general rule here are some resources you could try:

mental health hotlines esp ones that specialize in teenagers, there's loads of them.

school counselor/trusted teacher.

a support group in your community.

your doctor (i understand you'd have to make an apt through your parents but if that's a possibility, take advantage of it.)

any youth crisis/community center in your area.

self help/self care coping mechanisms tips you can find online.

i know that your brain will likely have a natural aversion to all of these ideas, and maybe it seems impossible to actually picture yourself reaching out for support in those ways. but i'm telling you straight up that that is just another part of the self destructive cycle and doing something different to break it, to begin changing the belief system that is causing you to self harm in the first place, is vital. yes, it's scary. yes, it's a process. and yes, some days are not going to work out the way you want them to. but for now just considering these alternatives could do wonders for your quality of life, if you give it the chance to. your parents are obviously fucked, but you get to live the rest of your life with the knowledge that you are a better person than them and that you are going to see and do wonderful things, divorced of their influence and opinion. i mean, i can't stress that enough dude. i'm assuming you're very young, and with a combination of natural development and positive reinforcement, your perspective is going to change so dramatically. you're not hopeless, you're not trapped. your mind will spend hours doing mental gymnastics to try and convince you that you are but it always comes back to reality, and the reality is that there is always a way forward. and that everything you're thinking and feeling right now is so temporary, so unbelievably temporary. talking to someone is going to allow you to see that from multiple perspectives, and getting things off your chest can make a massive difference in and of itself. all you have to do is seriously think about it at the moment. recognise your self destructive patterns for what they are, and then do what you can to subvert them. maybe it won't work every time, but trying is better than nothing. you truly do not need to take on the burden of trying to make your parents understand when they're so set on misunderstanding. you know? and someday, sooner than you think, you will be old enough to curate your own healthy and happy environment, especially when you're in total control of your own choices and health. it'll happen so much faster than you realize. please please try to stick around and take it a day at a time until then. you're a wonderful person, and it is okay to act on that basis. it's okay to help yourself in whatever way you can, even if it just begins with doing so 2 or 3 days a week. anyway, i'm sorry this got so long. i know how lonely it is, but i'm rooting for you with my whole heart and if you ever need a friend or someone to rant to, i'll be here. we can figure it out together. hit me up anytime.

[sungwoonh]

Wanna One | When you want to leave during an argument (part 2)

a/n: Here’s part two of this hyung line scenario as promised! Hope these drabbles make up for me being inactive for the next three days as I take my finals. I’ll be back soon with more writing for you guys! 

Genre: angst & (slight) fluff Warnings: mention of profanity Characters: Ong Seongwu / Kim Jaehwan / Kang Daniel

part one / part two

Ong Seongwu

Leaning onto the kitchen counter, you tap your fingernails on the granite-covered surface, the sound echoing throughout the empty apartment. You’ve been standing there for an hour? Maybe two? You weren’t even sure anymore. With your other hand holding onto your phone, you check the time - 4:48AM. Where was he?

Suddenly, you hear keys hurriedly opening the lock to the door, with a string of mumbled curses. Your grip on the counter tightens as the door opens, and you lock eyes with Seongwu.

He’s hesitant before he says, “why are you still up?”

“What do you think?” You didn’t want to sound condescending but you were exhausted. This wasn’t the first time he had come home extremely late, without a word about where he was going or when he was coming home. 

It started weeks ago. You knew that he was highly stressed from work. His schedule was hectic, and he tried to keep a happy facade around everyone - it was part of his job after all. But after a while, all the pressure and expectations from him had become too much. He was spreading himself too thin, and he wasn’t sure if there was anything of him left anymore. He wasn’t even sure if there was any of him - his energy, his passion, his love - left for you.

Because of this, he was terrified. He didn’t know what to do anymore, and he didn’t want to face the uncertainty yet. So he decided to just spend the nights after work going out with his friends, drinking and whatnot. 

The first time he came home late, he told you it was to blow off some steam because work was draining him, and you understood. But this understanding grew thin after weeks turning into months of him coming home late every night. You were at your breaking point.

“I’ve told you before. You don’t have to wait for me anymore.” he sighs as he looks at you.

“Then what do you want me to do, Seongwu?” you say, as you cross your arms over your chest.

“What?”

“You’re telling me to not care about you anymore,” your voice firm.

“What? I never said that!”

“It’s the same when you tell me not to wait for you anymore. This has been going on for months, Seongwu. I don’t even know what’s going on with you anymore. You brush me off every time I ask you about it.”

He rolled his eyes, “and I keep telling you not to worry yourself about it.”

You stand abruptly, leaving the stability you felt from leaning onto the counter. You could feel your walls crashing down. “How am I not supposed to worry when you’re out there every night until god knows what hour and I have no idea if you’re even coming home?” your voice is raised now, with your body starting to tremble. 

“Do you still even love me, Seongwu?” you say quietly.

There was silence, and then you were ready to break. It’s true, he didn’t need you anymore. He came home late all those nights and avoided you because of that. You leaned back into the counter, it’s support meaning nothing now.

When he didn’t say anything, you started to turn away, “I guess that answers my question,” your voice was solid despite the sobs threatening to escape your throat. You start to leave, and make your way to your bedroom. 

Suddenly, he approaches you and places his hands on either side of you on the counter, trapping you between his arms. He leaned down, leveling his eyes with yours. “I do love you,” his voice thick under all the tension.

“Then why are you doing this?” you don’t break eye contact with him, scared that if you let go, everything will disappear all at once.

However, Seongwu breaks the contact and leans his head on your shoulder, his eyes locking onto the floor. He didn’t want to look at you as he said what he was about to,

“I... I’m tired. I think - I think I want to quit from work. I was scared to tell you this, so I came home late hoping to avoid the conversation. I knew you were going to see through me, because you know me more than anyone else. Sometimes even more than I know myself.” he chuckles, as he finally raises his head to look at you. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

You sigh as you move away from the counter, and closer to him. You run a hand through his hair, before letting it rest on his cheek. “Seongwu, I want you to remember what I’m about to say.” You pause as he looks at you expectantly.

“I love you, and I always will. No matter what path you choose, I’ll be there. I’ll be there to support you. But you need to be honest with me, you need to tell me when something’s happening because how can I be there with you if you won’t let me?”

Then, he wraps his arms around you and buries his face onto your neck, “I’m so glad I have you.”

Kim Jaehwan

“Are you done yet?” Jaehwan says, obviously irritated.

“Excuse me?” you ask, offended, as you turn to look straight at him. Jaehwan was sitting on the bed, annoyance clearly written on his face.

“You’ve been rambling for what seems like forever.”

“I keep rambling because no matter how long I keep talking, you never listen to me,” you cross your arms over your chest. You hated arguing with Jaehwan, especially since you don’t think he ever took you seriously - not one of your arguments. You weren’t even sure if he was serious and committed enough to this relationship.

“I don’t listen when you’ve been talking too much,” his voice tight with discontent. 

It was like this whenever you and Jaehwan argued. It was like he didn’t care enough to listen to you, and try to work through the conflict. He was always just impatiently waiting for the fight to end. Jaehwan always thought that arguing was a waste of time, but he never tried to help you solve the problem or come to a compromise. He always took the easiest and quickest way out.

“Are you saying you don’t take me seriously anymore?” You were biting back the anger emanating from your lips. You were close to the edge, and yet he did nothing but push you over it.

“What? When did I say that?”

“You clearly don’t think this argument is important - maybe not even one of our arguments is important to you. That means you’re not taking this seriously,” you say, your feet solidly rooted on the ground despite the feeling of wanting to breakdown at any second.

 “You’re unbelievable.” Jaehwan lets out an exasperated laugh.

That’s when it hit you. Jaehwan didn’t really put any effort into trying to solve conflicts between you - maybe he just really didn’t take your relationship seriously. 

“Fine,” you turn to your desk and begin packing your phone, wallet, and other belongings into your purse.

“What are you doing?” he cautiously gets up from the bed.

“Leaving.” But before you could move through the doorway, you feel arms strongly encircling your waist. Jaehwan had confined you into his hold, you weren’t going anywhere.

“Let me go, Jaehwan.”

“No! I’ll never do that,” he wraps his arms around you tighter. “Please,” he breathed, “I don’t want to let you go.”

You’re quiet for a bit, before he turns you around in his arms, and cups either side of your face with his hands. “I’m sorry,” he says solemnly, his thumbs gently brushing the side of your cheek.

“I just - I really hate arguments. I’m scared that it would lead to something worse and I don’t want that. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

You look deep into his eyes, “it’s only natural that we argue over some things, Jaehwan. But you have to help me work through it. You’re not going to lose me just over an argument, especially if we go through it together.”

He nods gently and smiles, placing a soft kiss on your lips. “We’ll be okay.”

Kang Daniel

You throw your keys and your coat furiously onto the kitchen table, as soon as you enter your apartment, a visibly upset Daniel following after you.

“What do you want me to do, y/n? I’m doing the best that I can,” he says, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it onto the couch.

“I want you to think about yourself for once, Daniel!” you say, raising your voice slightly. 

You had just gotten back from the company clinic where they took Daniel due to constant headaches that hindered him from continuing with rehearsals and his other schedules for the day. He was advised by the doctor to rest for the entire day, and try to avoid straining himself for the rest of the week. 

However, as soon as you exited the doctor’s office, you were met by Daniel’s manager who reminded him of his schedules for the week, but not after asking if the doctor cleared him, and that he was able to continue the rest of his schedule. “Yes, of course. I’ll be here early tomorrow,” Daniel responds despite the pointed look you had been giving him. You didn’t want to make a scene, or create tension with his manager so you decided to stay quiet and take him home. And you were quiet, throughout the entire drive home.

“The doctor told you to rest! But you’re pushing through with your schedule?” you say, exasperated. 

“What am I supposed to do? It’s my job!” Daniel snapped, annoyance now evident on his face.

“It’s your job to work yourself into exhaustion until something bad happens to you? Your manager even asked you first if you can do the schedules, and you agreed like you didn’t just walk out of a damn clinic!”

“I’m fine, y/n! I know I can do it. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

“Because I care about you!” you were close to shouting now.

“Then if you care about me, why don’t you just leave me alone and let me do my work?” Daniel had raised his voice too.

Then it grew quiet. You were taken aback by what he just said. All you wanted was to take care of him, and for him to value his health just like you did. You were scared that something worse was bound to happen if he didn’t pay attention to his health - and you wanted him to realize that today. But apparently, you caring for him was something Daniel disliked.

“Fine. I’m leaving.” You say as you made your way to the kitchen, grabbing your keys and coat from the table. But before you could leave, Daniel was blocking the doorway.

“You’re not leaving,” he says with serious expression on his face.

“I’m leaving. You just told me to.” You begin to push him away, and try to pass through the space between him and the door - but Daniel picks you up and heads straight to your shared bedroom.

“Daniel! What are you doing?! Put me down!” He gently places you onto the bed, quickly lying next to you and caging you into his arms before you could escape. 

“You’re not going anywhere!” Daniel says as he pulls you closer to him, your back flat on his chest. 

It’s quiet for a bit and he says sadly, “please don’t leave me.”

Slowly, you move your body to face him, as he raises his head to meet your eyes. You reach out your hand to move his hair away from his eyes.

“Daniel,” you breathe, “I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about my health. I’m just too stubborn to think I can do everything,” Daniel admits.

“At least you’re not too stubborn to know that you’re stubborn,” you say, eliciting a laugh from him.

He pulls you closer to him, and buries his face into the crook of your neck. “Will you let me take care of you now?” you ask quietly. 

“You always do.”

[nehilistuniverse]

The fact I keep asking why did I had to go through this? Like I didn't finally just start being emotionally okay. This is exactly why I keep running away from everyone. People just know how to hurt. I can't have another breakdown. I hate being attached to people who I know are toxic for my mental health. It's like all the things I did in the past two years were for nothing.

I did everything and I have been doing everything yet here I am back at square one.

I feel so frustrated with everything that's going on. This is so frustrating. So infuriating. I just I do not know what I want at this point other than help. I feel so helpless.

I just do.

The fact I know I would still end up giving in is the most fucked up part. I hate to admit this but I do like him do not know why. I am genuinely fucked in the head that's why I have to keep reminding myself.

If anyone else would have done this it would have not hurt so bad. I hate to admit this. I just do. It makes me sound so pathetic because I am not capable of feeling strongly, am a commitment phoebe and have a habit of running away when somebody does try to approach me in any other way other than platonic.

The fact I would still be ready to fight all my fears because even though at that time I had wrote it as a trap i do not know how or why I caught feelings.

I genuinely do not know what to do with it because imagine somebody knew yet they did all of that not caring one bit about you. Not even 1%.

I feel so pathetic. I genuinely have fallen in my own eyes there is no other way to explain this feeling. How did I ever let somebody come so close to me without knowing them? I did this to myself. Nobody else did. No matter how cold I want to appear how indifferent I want to be or no matter how pathetic I feel for having this feeling and not being reciprocated on for months. Not even in the slightest of ways.

I hate myself right now so much. So much. I can't repeat on how many levels I hate myself for stooping so low. For not putting my guard up for blabbering about myself to a random stranger.

Now I get why akriti used to say people get to know your weakness and use it against you. Damn the price you pay for having feelings.

I feel disgusted by myself. I know I shouldn't it's not on me but I keep asking myself what was it that I lacked? When I know you can't make yourself fall for somebody. I know that very well on so many levels. I have tried to love people who love me I am just not capable of doing the one sided thing. I would rather tell them than string them along.

I swear self worth took such a massive hit that I was not ready for. I still don't understand why did envy ever go through all this pain? For random ass chick? I swear if I could choose in this particular life time I would have chosen envy to fall for but nope I just have to keep avoiding it and keep running.

I do not know why I feel the way I do. I don't understand emotions and do not know how to even own up to them when I feel so weak sometimes for having them. It almost feels like my power gets stolen.

Sometimes you do wonder why did somebody ever saw you and thought she won't feel hurt and will understand and will be my carpet that I can step on.

The worst part is I didn't even realise I was a fucking carpet. I thought the first time okay let's not make a big deal about it. Then the fucking asshole practically told my friend that I don't even consider her anything I was just using her as a carpet.

Then they act all funny despite being in love with someone else and I should have left and never came back. That stupid tarot said to give another chance. I did and got treated way worse. Like I was the one at fault. For a whole ass month I waited maybe he will start respecting me but nope turns out he was being cold just because he thinks he hasn't fucked you over enough and you don't even deserve that.

While he is talking to everyone. I lost so much respect in my own eyes. And turns out he had been reading your fucking personal stuff he didn't even respect you as a person or even thought about your boundaries or consent. I swear I feel so violated it's not even funny.

I swear I would be the most pathetic person if I ever went back. The most pathetic person.

Not once I have ever asked for my feelings to be reciprocated. If I wanted that I would have said it to his face directly. I do realise that but just some decency? Boundaries? Privacy? Respect? That's it that's all I was asking for. Nothing more. It's not my fault he snooped around in places he shouldn't have been in.

I genuinely feel so fucking pathetic it's not even funny. I have never felt pathetic before because of a human being. Not even my bullies or my actual narc friend could ever make me feel so pathetic. It feels like I am in this toxic cycle. I know it's bad for me but I don't want to let go but if I don't I won't be me.

This is whole Tanisha 2.0

I swear after her I had said to myself won't open up that quick. I had set rules and whatnot for myself. Didn't follow them once and look at me now back at it again.

You know what makes me more angry? The tricks he pulled and you get to know somebody else is getting direct conversation from him because he respects her maybe I do not know why. But I am not worthy of having that. Apparently he has to respect you and be in love with you to see you as a human being.

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Chocolate Stained Kiss

Summary: AU He’s a student visiting your country for a month long travel course and stumbles across the chocolate shop you work in. His friends dared him to steal a kiss but your definition of a kiss is very different from his.

Rating: PG

Characters: Student!Jungkook x Reader, minor mention of others.

Notes: Another drabble based on a dream I had, this one was written so anyone could insert themselves into it. Baci Perugina chocolates were introduced to me by a professor and I always thought it would be cute to have a scenario where a kiss is innocently misinterpreted. Y/C means your currency.

A huge thank you to @oh-beyond for encouraging me to continue with this idea – it nearly got scrapped until I came up with a different figure as the focus.

I’m going to dedicate this to @sweetnspicy-noona because she said Kook is wrecking her. ;)

“Can we pass on this store?” Yoongi asked as he stopped short of the touristy souvenir shop hawking t-shirts, keychains, and whatnot from the racks.

Jungkook hung back with his friend as their classmates strolled in, perusing the racks and shelves for small gifts to take home to their family. He nodded faintly as he scanned the contents of the shop and privately determined that he’d rather spend a little more on something less tacky for his parents.

Taehyung nodded in agreement as he wrinkled his nose upon witnessing a fellow classmate pick up a hideous neon shirt that said the city’s name on it. He turned his head and looked around the area for other shops. After two weeks of lectures, several thousands of steps logged in their Health apps, and a midterm later, their professor finally allowed their class a free day to do whatever they wanted in the country they were visiting.

Tae’s eyes fell on a small chocolate boutique tucked in the corner of the plaza and he pointed at it.

“I kinda want to check this one out,” he mused.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “You just want to eat chocolate.”

“I heard ‘chocolate’ – are we getting some or do you have some?” Jimin asked as he joined their group upon exiting the shop.

“You didn’t buy any ugly souvenirs?” Yoongi asked.

Jimin shook his head and murmured that he was only checking to make sure there wasn’t a hidden gem in there for his family.

“It all looks like trash from here,” Yoongi replied with a snort as he moved far away from the doorway. “Anyways, Tae saw a chocolate shop over there and wants to go.”

“Chocolate’s not a bad thing to bring home,” Jungkook admitted as he nodded over at the small shop in the corner. “Maybe they have some weird flavors I can share with our friends back home.”

Taehyung grabbed the handle of the door and yanked it open, a small bell tinkling softly.

“Hi welcome,” you greeted them as you looked up from stocking one of the shelves. You rose to your feet and dusted your apron off.

“May I help you find something in particular?” you asked.

Yoongi pushed Tae forward with a wicked smile, “He wants chocolate.”

“Actually, we’re looking for gift ideas to take home,” Jimin corrected him, stepping forward. “Nothing caught our eye at the other shops so far.”

You glanced in the direction of the souvenirs shop and nodded with a knowing look. Being close to a tourist trap shop had it’s perks and downfalls – the upside was offering a unique assortment of chocolate that could fit any price range or taste. Downsides were some tourists missing the shop altogether since it was tucked in the corner of the plaza.

“Well do you know the flavors your friends or loved ones like? Is there a budget?” you asked as you walked over to the group.

Taehyung frowned as he tried to recall his younger siblings’ favorite flavors while Jimin pointed out something in the display. You moved to show him the item in question, a tray of freshly made bonbons filled with sea salt caramel. Jungkook pretended to be wandering around, sneaking occasional glances over at you. You were shorter than him and he liked how your haircut complimented the shape of your face.

“Is there anything you guys would like to sample?” you prompted.

“Oh really? We can try anything in here?” Jimin asked with wide eyes.

“Well anything behind the counter,” you corrected yourself. “We make everything fresh that goes into our display daily.” You selected a large sea salt caramel bonbon from the display and took it to a cutting board behind you, slicing it into 4 pieces for the guys to try. You placed each piece into a paper wrapper and passed them over the counter. “That’s our bestseller – sea salt’s from France.”

Taehyung perked up at the comment about the imported sea salt and eagerly took his piece, bowing his head quickly before the bonbon slice disappeared. Jimin shot you a polite smile before taking a small bite of his piece, chewing thoughtfully. Yoongi approached the counter to take a piece while carrying a cellophane bag filled with bulk chocolates imported from Switzerland.

“I’d like these please,” he announced to you as he plunked the bag on the counter.

You nodded and took the bag to the register to ring him up for his transaction. Jungkook slowly approached the counter and swiped the final piece, placing it on his tongue and letting it melt. The smooth taste of milk chocolate melted away to the sweet caramel, accented with a hint of sea salt to balance the sweetness. 

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Tae asked him in Korean.

Jungkook nodded as he crumpled the wrapper between his fingers. He watched as you took care of Yoongi’s transaction, offering to gift wrap the chocolates for his loved one.

“Is it an extra charge?” he asked you.

“Oh no it’s complimentary,” you reassured him.

“Hmmm...yes I would like that please,” Yoongi replied with a nod.

You took the bag off the counter and carried it over to the area where the gift wrapping supplies were kept. You glanced back at Jungkook and the others, asking how the sample was. Three thumbs up were flashed in your direction, accompanied with brilliant smiles.

“What other flavors do you recommend?” Jimin asked as he squinted at the display to see the other chocolates.

“Well...I’m partial to the Darjeeling one and the s’mores one is quite good,” you admitted as you gestured to the respective items in the case. “I’ll cut up samples for you once I wrap your friend’s chocolates up.”

Jimin waved his hands and told you to take your time. You shot him a thankful smile before turning your attention back to Yoongi’s purchase and cutting ribbon to tie around the bag. Tae wandered around the shop, picking up random things that looked interesting and putting them back when he decided against them.

Jungkook peered at the display, sneaking a quick glance or two at you when you weren’t looking.

“You’re not very subtle,” Taehyung whispered as he came up behind him.

The youngest blinked and tried to look innocent, which wasn’t fooling Tae. The latter rolled his eyes and nodded over at your back.

“Here you go,” you said as you passed over the chocolates to Yoongi. Noticing Jungkook and Tae leaning down to look at the display case, you propped your elbows on the counter. “See any other flavors you wanna try?”

“Coffee please?” Tae prompted with a charming smile.

You returned the smile before grabbing the coffee, Darjeeling, and s’mores chocolates to cut up into samples. Yoongi murmured he was going to head out to find Hoseok.

“Message me if you need me,” Yoongi said before reaching the door. He bowed his head politely and thanked you before leaving.

You placed the coffee samples down first and prompted them to try them. Jimin bit into his, Tae closed his eyes once the coffee flavor hit his tongue, and Jungkook slipped the sample into his mouth, eyes widening as a strong coffee flavor blended with the dark chocolate. You studied their faces curiously for a response before putting the s’mores one in front of them.

“It’s...strong,” Jimin commented.

“Fair trade, dark brew coffee,” you added. “Not for everyone because it’s kind of potent but perfect for a coffee obsessed person. Here’s the s’mores – it’s chocolate, marshmallow, and graham cracker. Not sure if you guys have had those before or not.”

“Excuse me? Some more? Some more of what?” Tae asked with a confused look.

“Oh no ‘s’mores’ – it’s kind of an American thing,” you explained. “My boss tried them with her kids during a visit to the US and was inspired.”

All three blinked before trying the samples; Jungkook was forced to lick his fingers thanks to a blob of marshmallow oozing out of his piece before he ate it. “Different, but I get why your boss liked this combination,” he said before sucking a remaining bit of marshmallow off his thumb.

You nodded as you pushed over the Darjeeling samples, along with a napkin for Jungkook’s hand. He ducked his head and mumbled a thanks before taking the napkin and wiping his thumb off.

“I like this one!” Jimin replied once he finished his sample. “Ummm, how much for these and the sea salt caramel?”

“It’s 2 Y/C per piece but if you buy 6 pieces of any combination of flavors, it’s 9 Y/C,” you replied.

“I’ll take three of each please,” Jimin determined as he moved toward the register to pay.

“Great, I’ll box those up for you,” you replied. “Do you need gift wrapping too?”

“Um, yes please,” Jimin said.

“What about you two – anything you wanna get?” you asked, looking over your shoulder at Taehyung and Jungkook.

Taehyung pointed to the coffee chocolates and said he wanted 6 in a bag to eat right away.

“But I thought your siblings –” Jungkook began to protest.

Tae smiled as he dangled a prepacked bag of solid chocolate coins in front of Jungkook’s face. “No these are for them, the coffee ones are for me.”

“Like how you think,” you commented as you accepted the bag of solid chocolates from Taehyung. “Never hurts to treat yourself once in a while. Especially if it’s the good stuff.”

Tae smiled widely and made his way to the counter to wait for his items. Jungkook picked up a solid bar of chocolate with his mom’s favorite flavor and pointed to the sea salt caramel bonbons.

“I’ll take 6 of these,” he said. “Um, can 4 go in a box and the other two in a bag?”

You looked up from wrapping a decorative paper on Jimin’s box and nodded with a smile. His face felt slightly warm but he managed to return the smile without looking ridiculous. His reaction hadn’t gone unnoticed by Jimin and Taehyung, who were smirking slightly. 

“Hey!” Jungkook snapped when his final bonbon was snatched from the bag. He whirled around and watched as Jimin popped it whole into his mouth. “Chim Chim that was my last piece!”

“Why didn’t you guys grab me and take me with you?” Hoseok whined during a break after one of their lectures. “Yoongi told me about the shop and by the time I was done waiting for Namjoon, we had to head back for the group dinner!”

“You’re kidding me,” Yoongi said with a concerned look, “Namjoon actually bought something ugly from that shop?!”

“Um no, he needed a new pair of sunglasses,” Hobi explained. “Remember when he dropped his last pair on our bus tour?”

Jungkook shook his head as he recalled the incident – they were sitting on the top level of a double decker bus for a city tour with a local guide, when Namjoon pulled his sunglasses out while the bus was making an abrupt stop. Combined with Namjoon’s loose grip on them, the pair fell to the ground and broke when a nearby car drove over them. Thankfully they were only an inexpensive pair he brought from home in case this happened.

“They’re not bad – they look like Ray Bans but they were so cheap!” Hobi added. “He just took forever to decide on that pair. He almost went with something sporty but they looked off. Plus they were too big for him.”

Jimin finished the bonbon and dusted his hands off. “Well, you know where to get more Kookie,” he teased.

“Hey, can I come too? I’d like to see this amazing chocolate shop for myself,” Hobi chimed in.

“Oh hello again!” you greeted Jungkook as he slipped through the door.

Hoseok followed up behind him and raised a hand in greeting. “I wanted to see this amazing chocolate place too.”

“That and my friend stole my last piece,” Jungkook sighed, trying to keep the annoyed look out of his eyes.

“Oh no! Well, there’s plenty more behind the counter,” you reassured him. You addressed Hoseok and invited him to ask for a sample of anything he was interested in.

Hoseok pointed out a fruit flavored chocolate and you pulled one from behind the display to cut up. Jungkook walked up so he was standing beside Hoseok. He glanced back over his shoulder to see Jimin and Taehyung peering in, both flashing him a thumbs up. He rolled his eyes at the pair and turned back to the counter as you passed over samples of the chocolate Hobi wanted.

Before he and Hobi had come over, Taehyung had cornered him about his budding crush on you. While the youngest tried to deny it, Jimin coaxed the truth out of him and he was forced to confess that indeed, he had a small crush on the attractive employee at the chocolate shop.

“You should let them know,” Tae advised.

“We’re going to be heading home in a few days – what would I do?” Jungkook complained.

“You could serenade them with a song?” Jimin offered.

“No that’s cheesy,” Tae groaned. “Ugh Kookie, just go back there, get more chocolate and kiss them! That should tell them how you feel!”

“I don’t know guys,” Jungkook stalled.

“If you don’t do something, you’re going to be all mopey about it later,” Tae warned.

“Hey, do you not like fruit and chocolate?” you asked Jungkook, snapping him out of his trance.

“Eh? Oh um sorry!” Jungkook apologized, quickly ducking his head. He accepted the sample and slipped it between his lips. Some of the fruit filling landed on his lower lip and he licked it off.

“I’d like 6 of these and may I try the sea salt caramel everyone’s talking about?” Hoseok asked.

“Absolutely!” you replied while going to cut up a bonbon. You glanced back at Jungkook, waiting for a reaction to the one he tried. He met your eyes and flashed you a thumbs up and a smile.

“It has a good flavor, but I still like the sea salt caramel the best,” he admitted.

“There’s a reason why it’s the bestseller,” you replied before cutting the bonbon in half.

Hobi took a small bite of his sample before deciding to pop the rest of it into his mouth. His eyes lit up and he motioned to the row of sea salt caramel bonbons.

“I’ll take 4 of those too,” he announced.

“May I have 6?” Jungkook spoke up.

“Sure, I’ll grab those for you guys and ring you up,” you replied. “You need gift wrapping? It’s complimentary.”

“Ah yes for the fruit ones but the sea salt can be in a bag,” Hoseok said. He nudged Jungkook and said he’d cover his chocolates as well.

“Wae? Ah Hobi, no I can’t –”

“Chim Chim owes me for loaning him money in the last city,” Hoseok explained. “Plus he stole your last piece, which wasn’t fair to you.” He pulled out his wallet and explained to you that he was buying Jungkook’s chocolates as well.

“You’re a good friend to him,” you commented as you secured the box with a clear piece of tape. “Do you want ribbon too?”

“Oh no, just the paper will do,” Hoseok confirmed as he accepted the box. He passed over the money for the chocolates and you keyed it into the register. The drawer popped out and you stuck it in the respective slots before counting out change.

“Here’s your change and I’ll bag up your chocolates for you,” you said to Jungkook.

Hoseok thanked you before saying he was going to wait outside. He nudged Jungkook and winked before exiting.

“Here you go,” you announced as you passed over the bag to Jungkook. “Hopefully your other friend won’t steal any of these.”

“Ha, I won’t let him,” Jungkook replied as he took the bag. He frowned as he silently counted the bonbons in the bag. “Ah, excuse me but there’s 8 in here, not 6.”

You leaned your elbows on the counter and lowered your voice. “Don’t tell my boss, but I may have slipped you an extra pair of them because of what your friend did to you. Think of it as a little thank you for coming back and bringing a new friend.”

“Oho um, tha-thank you!” Jungkook said with a shy smile. He swallowed the lump in his throat and placed the chocolates in his messenger bag. “Um, my friends sort of made me come back here again and they’re making me ask for a kiss.”

“Oh, you mean the Perugina Kisses?” you asked as you glanced over at the shelf with the boxed sets. “Yes, we carry those too. If you like hazelnuts, they’re good or if you’re a hopeless romantic, they come with a love poem.”

Jungkook cleared his throat and shook his head. “Um...that’s um, not what I meant,” he stammered. “Ah um, it’s stupid but...they’re making me ask you for a kiss. It’s because they think I have a crush on you.” He dropped his gaze and began fiddling with the strap on his messenger bag. This was turning into a disaster – thanks to his dumb friends, he was standing in a chocolate shop in a foreign country and he told someone that he lowkey liked about his crush on them.

He heard footsteps approaching him and blinked when he saw your shoes a few inches from his. He looked up and barely had time to react before your lips crushed against his firmly, your hands resting on his shoulders. His eyes fluttered closed and he relaxed his stance.

“Looks like we felt the same,” you murmured as you pulled away. “I thought you were hot but wasn’t sure you were into me that way.”

“May I know your name before I go?” he asked.

You leaned over the counter and pressed a button to make the register spit out some receipt paper. You grabbed a pen and scrawled your name, phone number, and e-mail address on it before passing it over to him.

“How about I give you my contact info and we stay connected?” you replied with a grin. “I think your friends called you Kookie but that’s probably a nickname, right?”

“Yes, my name is Jungkook,” he clarified. He grinned cutely as he clutched the receipt paper in his hand and bowed his head low. “Thank you again for the chocolates.”

“OWWWW!” Jimin shrieked when his hand was slapped.

“You can’t have any,” Jungkook taunted with a smirk as he bit into in a bonbon.

Jimin pouted, "One please. Oh come on Kookie, I was trying to help!”

Jungkook moved his bag out of reach and smirked as he turned his attention back to his phone.

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

ALL THE MYTHOLOGY ASK BINCH

i can’t believe this is from a month ago lol

Anubis: How do you feel about death?- I’m not quite sure you know. i don’t think anything happens after, which makes being suicidal all the time a little easier. i just feel like everything stops. like you literally just go to sleep forever, at least one would hope. losing people though it really fucking sucks and is rly hard trauma to come to terms w.

Atum: What are your greatest imperfections?- I’m a fat obese binch w no fucking self control, next

Bastet: Do you have any cats?- no bc I’m deathly allergic, but i wish i could

Hathor: What brings you joy?- lmao at my old answer for this. sandy, I love her so so so much. she licked my tears away today which I know may seem gross but was p therapeutic and it helped and then i napped. i need to finish her emotional support registration bc i can’t imagine my life without her now

Horus: What is one thing you’ve had to fight for in your life?- every single fucking thing. i had to fight to go to college, fight to move out, fight to be treated like an equal to my peers, fight for simple material shit like a car and comfortable enough place. fight and work for love so so so hard. i wish i had just ONE (1)! thing come easy to me. i was kinda bright growing up but that’s about it?

Osiris: Do you believe in the underworld?- i do ship hades and persephone all the fucking way, have that pomegranate and get ya mans girl rule that underworld and be the best mom cerberus will ever know

Ra: Do you have any major responsibilities or importance?- just to pay my bills on time and not die or starve. show up to work every day, and take rly rly rly rly good care of my dog, i spoil her i know i do and i know it’s bad but i need it and you can tell she didn’t come from a god home before so she deserves it

Thoth: Do you like to read/write?- i love it, i really genuinely do. i just don’t have that kind of energy anymore THOUGH the few times i do it’s so fuckin therapeutic and i feel brand new

Arawn: What is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done?- i guess pick up and move across the state on my own, TWICE. falling in love w my gf is a close second, as is my relationship before that bc i was fucking terrified both times. first was fear of the unknown and fear of something so new, and now was.. fear of the same, as well as.. fear of being uncomfortable, fear of starting over.. and not just my love life but every other aspect of my life as well. it felt like i picked up and threw out the whole (previous) relationship. not in an “idc” sense, but i couldn’t bear to be in same apt, the same job, the same spaces whatsoever. it was terrifying to keep living afterward. everything else ive done has just been shit i thought i had to do to get by. not confront abusers, work hard for literally ANYTHING i wanted, etc. sidenote, i also went through a rly bad reckless behavior bpd phase and some of the things i did were very unlike me and  slightly terrifying in retrospect. i feel like it was me trying to take control of something, ANYTHING, but still didn’t work.

Bran: How is your health?- physically, shit; mentally, shit. lmao. i can confidently say i am working on both though

Brighid: Tell us about your relationship with your father.- it has had its fair share of ups and downs. my father raised me as a single dad and he was great at it. i had birthday parties, i had the books, shoes, toys i wanted - even if it meant waiting a little more than everyone else bc my dad worked hard and only made so much for us both. my dad having to do all that came totally left field for him i imagine and he fucking rose to the occasion. somewhere down the line he did begin to resent my mother and i when she wandered back around, and i know he didn’t like that i chose her every time even though she paid me no mind and he was a doting parent. i went a couple years without talking to either of my parents, but we’re all actually pretty good now. my mom has made up for a lot and she’s not perfect bt she’s still trying and i can say the same for my dad as well

Cernunnos: What is your favorite animal?- pandas, otters, and puppies are god tier. koalas, giraffes, hedgehogs (no sonic), and chinchillas are also up there

Danu: What is your relationship with your mother?- i guess you can read above.. but basically it was shit before and now we get along but I don’t tell her anything you know. she still thinks I’m straight, a virgin, and have never had one (1) alcohol, deadass.  however, she’s still comforting? I wanted her to stay longer this weekend, I felt she’d help me hold it together even if I couldn’t tell her what was wrong

Morrigan: What do you think happens when we die?- first question. but basically you slip into a comfortable coma

Olwen: What is your favorite flower?- sunflowers

Rhiannon: Have you ever been betrayed?- I have felt betrayed before, yes. sidenote i hate that this is Rhiannon. 

Bragi: What kind of music do you listen to?- just about everything but fuck country music. maroon 5’s new album is rly good

Freya: Have you ever been in love?- yes i have and this shit has hurt every single fucking time, lol. and it always feels like it can never hurt more, but each time has been infinitely worse than the previous for me

Freyr: Do you have any children?- my daughter, sandy

Hœnir: Are you a silent or talkative person?- silent. I hardly talk, I’m not rly verbal, though when I have to front like I am I’m pretty good at it. but if it were up to me I wouldn’t talk at all. though there times (especially when manic) that i can go on and on and on. that was rly easy w my bf before and helped as far as better developing how to express myself verbally/communicating in general 

Iounn: How old are you?- can we not talk about my age and the existential crisis I have every time I think of it, thanks

Loki: What is the best trick you’ve ever pulled on someone?- i don’t really pull tricks and shit like that

Odin: What is your family like?- nonexistent

Thor: Would you consider yourself pretty powerful?- i am A WEAK BINCH!!!!!

Tree: What have you done with your life? What are you going to do with it?- I haven’t done much of anything. I just want to make money, pay off debts, own some pets, live comfortably.. be skinny

Aphrodite: What do you think of yourself?- I don’t think much of myself which has been identified as such a grande problem by others & by those who actively validate that so…

Ares: Are you an easy person to anger?- I wouldn’t think that I am, but it doesn’t take much for me to split on someone

Athena: Would you consider yourself an artist?- not much of one anymore

Apollo: Do you play any instruments?- piano, bassoon, sax, bass clarinet, french horn/mellophone

Dionysus: Do you drink?- I like red wine & henny

Hades: Do you have a bad reputation?- i sure fucking do now bitch

Hekate: Have you ever tried to communicate with the dead?- caucasian activities bruh

Hermes: Have you ever stolen anything?- walmart self checkout more like optional check out you feel me

Poseidon: Are you a moody person?- hi, i have bpd. (no this isn’t me justifying any behavior or whatever, but it quite literally is the reason why I’m “”””””””moody”””””””)

Zeus: Are you a confident person?- fuck no, next. i mean okay, i can be, fake confident, and i used to really have an air of confidence about me befroe but no longer do and it saddens me. petition to bring back 2k14 claudia tbh

Jupiter: Would people say that you are intimidating or fairly approachable?- I believe I’m approachable but I’ve been told I have chronic RBF and am incredibly intimidating and completely UNapproachable. my kids didn’t seem to think that when I taught though so that was cool

Pluto: Where do you think we go when we die?- i hope the underworld

Apollo & Dianna: Do you prefer to be up during the day or at night?day, i def wish i can get more done bc night is sleep time

Mars: Have you ever gotten into a fight?- both verbal and physical altercations

Minerva: Do you generally give good advice?- “dump him sis”

Proserpine: Have you ever felt trapped?- yes, mostly by my mental illness(es)

Plutus: Do you have a job?- yes, thank god

Venus: Have you ever had your heart broken?- of course, it’s broken right the fuck now binch!

Vesta: Do you like being home or do you try to get out whenever you can?- I’m a fucking SLUT for being home bitch omg. but at the same time i like traveling and getting our but i def prefer lowkey things. bookstores, wine tasting, shit like that

Morpheus: Do you daydream often? Of what?- of a lot more like having a sense of stability and whatnot. being loved completely and wholeheartedly 500% mutual healthy devotion. i want someone to invest in me

[wigsfeast]

A Complete Guide to Use Wigs

Wigs are now an integral part of personification for any woman who does not want to compromise on the health of her natural hair or is looking to counter her hair loss problems. As simple as using a wig might seem to people, maintaining and using it in the right way is surely a bit of a process.

Here’s how you can enjoy a perfect relationship with your wig. Do You Need A Wig? Before moving on to the guide, let’s first answer the question if you, nonetheless, need to have human hair wigs in your wardrobe or not. Only you are purely eligible to address this query because it’s you who needs the wig. “My mood depends on how my hair look” Additionally, you can use the following tips to help you clear out the picture. · Suitability The first thing to be curious about while wearing a wig is none other than its suitability. Find out whether a wig suits you or not. Ask your friends or family, look into the mirror or click some pictures to know if the wig stands up to the mark when sitting on top of your head. · Satisfaction Wearing a wig is a completely personal decision. No-one is forcing you to put a wig on and absolutely no-one will admire you for wearing one, it is all about your personal satisfaction about your outlook. So, as far as you are satisfied with the wig, wear it with pride. · Actual Need You are not compelled to wear a wig only because you are suffering from hair loss or some other excuse. You can wear it as you want when you want. However, wearing a wig puts a lot of pressure on your scalp and natural hair, so, make sure you wear wigs the right way whenever you wear them. Where Can You Buy Wigs? There are a lot of options for buying wigs once you decide you are going to purchase one. These are the most widely used wig-outlets across the globe. “The best buy is a local buy” 1. Local Shops The most suitable thing to do while buying a wig is to be a “walk-in” customer rather than an online client. Visit local shops and check different brands of wigs personally to ensure that you are buying the perfect thing. 2. Online Shops The modern world is an online world. Everything that once required to be done by hand, like shopping for groceries, buying tickets, etc. are now being done online. Even the banking system has shifted online. So, why not buy wigs online? Where shopping online saves the hassle of going physically to the shops, it comes with some extent of unreliability. Since you are being displayed only a sample picture of the product, you never know what you are going to receive once you have placed an order online. 3. Charity Programs Charities (both online and local) are the best method to gain necessary day-to-day products, even wigs. They provide things free of cost, so, you will not have to pay for the wigs. Hence, this method can be useful for anyone having a limited or NO BUDGET and whatnot. Which Wig Should You Choose? There might be a lot of options for you to consider if you are looking for a perfect design of wig for yourself. But, choosing the right design will require much more insight if you are aiming for the optimum experience with your wig. Consider following these steps to make sure that you are making the right decision, · Choose the Right Hair Type The hair type of your wig will directly affect the overall vibe and natural looks of your wig. Normally, Human hair wigs are the best ones in terms of natural looks and durability because they are made from real human hair. Human hair wigs are expensive but they are worth buying. Synthetic Wigs, on the other hand, are usually cheaper and look less natural than human hair wigs. So, choose the hair type of your wig wisely because it will directly affect how you look. · Choose the Right Wig Cap Secondly, you should always wear a wig cap to make sure your natural hair and scalp are in the best shape. Further, you should always choose the right size, type, and design of the wig cap so that it does not exert any extraordinary pressure on your scalp. Choosing the right hair type and wig cap will lead to a better decision than choosing randomly from available options. Wear, Care, and Storage of Your Wig There is nothing more to do after you have bought a wig, than just wearing it. Since you have put in so much effort into buying the perfect wig for yourself, you might want to keep it in the best shape possible. Wearing a Wig Wearing a wig is just two simple steps. One, make sure you are wearing a wig cap and your natural hair or scalp are in their proper place. Secondly, put on the wig in the correct way. It is just like putting on a cap with hair strands hanging with it. For best results, confirm that no natural hair is falling out of the wig cap. You can also use the wig without a wig cap, so, step 1 can be skipped for people who prefer not wearing a wig cap. Care and Proper Storage If proper care is taken of your wigs, they might last up to five years. That is sufficient time to get the best out of your wig. Just wash your human hair wigs periodically – after wearing them 7-10 times. Store them in a wig bag and certify that they remain dry and clean. This will not only increase the look and naturality of your wig but also increase its lifetime. Plastic bags should not be used to store wigs as they trap in moisture and may Detroit the health of human hair in natural wigs.

[anamorales]

T nation write up

T nation has a lot of good articles came across this one just now.. T Nation addresses the current state of steroid science, this time addressing off-season drug cycles, scar tissue from injections, the overblown dangers of oral steroids, and a one-shot-a-month cruise. Off-Season Cycling for Bodybuilders T NationWhat does a typical off-season cycle look like for some of the bigger competitive bodybuilders (heavyweight or super heavyweight)? Admittedly, things vary a bit from guy to guy, but once you reach a certain level of development there are a few constants. Most of the big guys will run a Testosterone base – since we’re talking offseason, usually enanthate or cypionate – at around 1200-2000 mg per week. Testosterone (T) is the bread and butter of any cycle; I rarely work with anyone that doesn’t run a decent dose. Sometimes I’ll have a guy that likes to keep his anabolics (boldenone, nandrolone) higher than his T dose, but that’s rare. Next up would be the anabolic, and most bigger dudes will run 600-1000 mg per week of either Equipoise (boldenone) or Deca-Durabolin (nandrolone). Sometimes they’ll use Primobolan or trenbelone, but that’s not typical in the offseason; most stick with just boldenone and nandrolone and alternate back and forth between the two, say 8-10 week periods of each. After that, you’re looking at a daily growth hormone dose (4-10 IUs/day). I personally don’t think there’s any need to go higher than that, though some will run more if they can afford it. Most guys (not all, mind you, but most) will use insulin too, usually Humulin-R or Humalog at around 10-20 units per day. Again, this is something that some will use more of, but I don’t think that’s wise from a health standpoint – or even needed, from a growth standpoint. After that, some might run the odd oral steroid here and there, such as a 4-week cycle of Dianabol or Anadrol every couple months or so, but again, that’s not really necessary – some guys just like the quick boost in strength and water bloat. Oh, and most will run some sort of anti-estrogen year round too, like Arimidex at 1 mg every other day or thereabouts. That pretty much covers the basics. Injection Site Scarring T Nation: Say I’ve started my first serious off-season cycle: 2-3 grams a week of gear, not including orals. I gotta say, it’s a lot of injections – way more than my poor glutes and delts are used to. How do the guys at the top level deal with things like scar tissue? Well, first off, nobody in their right mind uses large gauge needles anymore; long gone are the days of 18g-22g harpoons or those “classic” Sustanon redi-jects. Nowadays, most guys are using 23-25 gauge pins, which are much smaller and don’t create near as much damage. Still, they’re doing a lot of shots per week, so they’re forced to rotate sites often. Standard body parts like glutes, quads, and delts are just part of the rotation – they also hit lats (lats can easily take 3 cc’s), biceps, triceps, traps, rear delts and even chest – that one always gives me the heebie-jeebies though; I suppose I’ve seen Pulp Fictiontoo many times to give that site an honest go. You also have to remember that there’s a bit of a benefit to scar tissue in certain areas – when it builds up, it basically provides a cosmetic effect, not too unlike Synthol. If you build up enough scar tissue in your rear delts, they’re going to look bigger (and not stupid, if you do it right); same thing for parts like the outer lats. But if the real issue is you simply hate pinning yourself, that’s another matter entirely. Either get over it or quit – no one’s forcing you to be a bodybuilder, right? Chinese GH T Nation: Everyone is using generic Chinese growth hormone these days. How good is this stuff, really? Is it made in a Beijing bathtub? I keep seeing news stories about toys from China being recalled for containing lead and whatnot, and that’s not even the black market! When the generics first hit the market a few years back, I too, was skeptical, but the results I’ve seen (and experienced) so far have been good, for the most part. The cost of Chinese GH is so much cheaper than domestic pharmacy grade GH (under $2 per IU when purchased in bulk, as opposed to at least $6-8 per IU for the pharmaceutical grade stuff) that you can’t help but wonder about the quality of it, but it’s no big mystery: we all know the Chinese can produce a shit ton of stuff for next to nothing, and without rigid pharmaceutical standards to adhere to – or other pesky ethical roadblocks like labor standards – their overhead can be significantly lower. That obviously brings issues like quality and potency into question. I know some guys that have a hookup with a lab and for the past year have been testing Chinese GH for quality and quantity per vial. Quantity-wise, the results haven’t exactly been consistent – some of the 10 IU vials have registered at only 4 IUs, while others have checked out at 9-9.5 IUs. There even was an 8 IU vial that actually checked out at 9 IUs per vial – what a deal! Quality wise, it’s a better story. I’ve never seen one come back positive for lead or arsenic, so as far as I can tell I think we’re all good on that front. It appears it’s just a matter of getting the quantity you think you’re paying for. Quite honestly, even if it’s slightly less potent than the label claims it to be, in my mind the cost reduction more than makes up for it. But I suppose it goes without saying that you should always be confident in what you’re putting into your body, so trusting your source is of the utmost importance. I know the black market is always shady, and suffice it to say, regular business rules don’t always apply, but at least try to get to know your source so that you can develop a sense of trust in whatever you’re getting. Here’s what I suggest – let them know that you’re aware of testing to determine the potency and quality – if they know you’re going to be checking on them, they’ll be less likely to pass along a shoddy product. Steroid Hepatotoxicity T Nation: We’ve heard that the negative effects of oral steroids are grossly overstated, and taking something as benign as a Tylenol a day is more harmful to the liver. What gives? I will admit, the hepatotoxicity of steroids (especially orals) is overstated. Ask anyone who works in an ER and they will tell you that Tylenol causes far more liver failures than oral steroids – and yes, I realize that there are many more Tylenol-users than there are admitted oral steroid-users – but steroid use has increased exponentially since the 1970s while liver failure has not. You do the math. That’s not to say oral steroids or any steroids are “safe,” by any means, but I would be much more concerned about their effects on blood pressure and hemoglobin/hematocrit than the liver. That said, some of my guys will limit their oral use to pre-contest only, when it’s pretty much mandatory, and stick to injectables in the offseason. I do, however, still have quite a few guys who will run orals in the offseason as well, and so far none have had any issues (we keep tabs on things with blood work every 3 months or so). Speaking of blood work, here’s something to note: everyone focuses on ALT (alanine transaminase) and AST (aspartate aminotransferase) levels as being the main indicators of liver health, but there are many things that can throw those numbers off like training, possessing higher amounts of muscle mass, or having a higher BMI. If you can, make sure you get GGT (gamma-glutamyl transpeptidase) included with your bloodwork – it’s a much better indicator of liver health. I’ve seen many bodybuilders with elevated AST and ALT levels, but have yet to see any with an elevated GGT. Still, I have all my guys take liver supplements like Milk Thistle and Liv-52, year round. Testosterone Undecanoate T Nation: We’ve heard that some guys between “blast” phases are “cruising” with a really long-estered Testosterone, something like a once-a-month shot? What’s this all about? What you’re referring to is Testosterone undecanoate, in injectable form. You may have heard of TU before – it was originally produced in an oral form called “Andriol,” that supposedly worked by way of the lymphatic system but never really panned out, results-wise. The injectable form is a different story. Known by its pharmaceutical name “Nebido,” it’s been prescribed for years in Europe and other countries around the world. It comes in a 4 ml. amp that contains a total of 1,000 mg of TU, and is usually injected in 6-14 week intervals. For many bodybuilders, this is obviously much less of a hassle than taking a shot of cypionate or enanthate every 3 to 7 days. The FDA has yet to approve Nebido for use in the US, but UGLs (underground laboratories) can easily obtain TU in powder form and manufacture it themselves, so it’s readily available to those in the know. Some guys like “cruising” with it between cycles, and some even run it year round, as a “backdrop” to their bigger cycles. I can’t say that it offers much benefit to the user other than the reduced injection frequency, but like I discussed above in the scar tissue question, the fewer shots you can do, especially at the pro level, the better.

T nation write up published first on https://immigrationways.tumblr.com/

[everyoneneedsalisteningear]

Dear possible future counsellor/therapist,

I hate to be that kind of patient, those that did their kinda whole background reading online and come to you expecting that you confirm what they have already diagnosed for yourself and in the whole process, kind of not trust you if you tell them otherwise.

...I'm very sorry, but I am this kind of patient.

I know it is annoying, but let's face it, in this day and age, who wouldn't find and see things on the internet? We all need to start adapting our ways to deal with such patients. To get them to trust you without wholly discrediting the "homework" they did and believe in.

I would also like to bring up the prevalence of mental health issues in my generation. It is almost like a joke now amongst a ton of us, that we have no life goals, that we're just dissatisfied with life in general and it's a slob, where we're always alone and sad --- there's a whole meme culture for this called dank memes, and the amount of people that relate to this is quite a lot.

many many people in our generation are identifying as having anxiety and depression, and it is truly a whole community worth of people.

But I need to tell you this, and I want you to believe me. As much as I find these depressing jokes very funny and relatable, that isn't the reason why I'm here, and that isn't the reason why I choose to feel this way.

I wouldn't want to be here if I didn't feel like I needed to be. Feeling this way sucks. I want my old self back. I didn't choose for this to happen. The main reason why I am here, is because I feel that what I am going through seems abnormal. Emotions are supposed to be relatively rational, in a sense that if you're worried, something worth worrying about has happened/if you're sad, something sad has happened etc.

The thing is, I feel a pang of sadness that comes out of nowhere. For no particular reason whatsoever worth me feeling THIS sucky. I have a quote from myself, once when I was going through those times, that goes "can I fall sick or something so I have a legit reason to feel this shitty".

There was literally nothing going on. My life is uneventful like that. I could just be studying. I could even be hanging out with my beloved friends, who put up with so much more of my crap than they should be subjected to, I could be alone doing things I love like dancing or watching a movie or even eating, and there would be times where my chest hurts and I feel like crying. It's funny because it's not so much sadness, but like I like to describe it, I'm simply, down. Kind of like you're some heavy rock. Then obviously you don't feel like doing anything except lie on a bed and wallow in self-pity.

My baseline, I would describe it as a certain extent of self-consciousness. There is an inner monologue in my head going on most of the time, thinking through things I want to do or say. I remember once, for 2 days straight, I was functional as heck. Inner monologue me wasn't there, and I socialised well and was alone well as well. I was happy and content, and I never felt so confident with myself.

But that was awhile ago, and the muck creeped back in over time.

Inner monologue me is frustrating. When my chest hurts, it screams my motto at me (kinda the coping mechanism I found for myself over the year), which is that the lower I feel, the more I must fight it. "Fight it, resist it you idiot!", it would scream at me. At other times when my mind is racing, there's just many inner monologue mes talking over each other. Sometimes it's not just me, it's replayed conversations from my past, just coming back here and there. If it doesn't reach a peak, that's manageable. But sometimes, the talking gets faster and faster, and my heart starts to race and I get kinda panicky and I really need to find some way to break it. Usually I change my activity or find another distraction. Sleeping does not work.

But these aren't the worst things. Let me tell you about my worst fear. It used to be that I was scared I wasn't a good person at heart. That's no longer the case, after I started feeling something different.

It started with a rare, seemingly one-off episode, like my chest-hurting which is much more common now..., where I was just suddenly acutely aware that I am a person, alive in this world, and I am me.

I don't like talking about it because imagining it may make me go there, and I don't want to go there. I lose myself there. It's like I don't even know who I am anymore, and I'm just some... thing controlling this human I call "me" in this weird universe we call reality. I feel like an avatar, in a first person game, navigating my way around. Even when I talk to my friends, sometimes it's like talking to them through a screen. That is my worst fear. That I lose myself completely, that I start contemplating about things I can't put into words, when reality falls apart and seems like some sort of game. When I am detached from the world around me and everything seems muffled, and everything overwhelms me all at once. Where I feel alone and yet I don't know who I am. That is my worst fear. This may sound melodramatic, but.. sinking into oblivion like into a deep dark sea with no one around you, no sounds of life, blurry visions, no start and no end, like being trapped in some kind of weird limbo? yeah that's the stuff.

...

So, I feel like I need to pull myself out of that for awhile now and just let you know some of my counselling history. I went to the school counsellor for a couple of sessions and stopped completely. I have no intention of going back to see her, ever, because it wasn't a good fit.

Granted, I wasn't always completely honest with her but that's in a way of me just feeling weird to be so dramatic about my emotions. Like how I am usually like with friends and family, I tend to joke around alot and be very sarcastic, and I do that especially when talking about serious and sad things like that.

I suppose I wasn't taken very seriously then, because she kept reassuring me that there is nothing wrong with me, just some self-confidence issues.

Now...you must see where this is a problem. For me, at least.

I, am someone who has been writing diary entries since I was in kindergarten. I love writing whenever I had something I wanted to share. Writing was my outlet, writing is where I tell stories about my life and usually, make them sound better than they actually were, but that's just a speciality of mine. Also, and most importantly, writing made me my own counsellor.

I've been solving my own problems, insecurities and whatnot, via writing for the past like 13/14 years. I wouldn't be here, if I didn't think that there was something really wrong with me, that was abnormal, that I cannot rationalise myself out of, and that I need professional help with.

So when I've gathered all my courage to approach a mental health professional, telling them I think I may need help, telling me that nothing is wrong with me is NOT reassuring.

What does that mean? If nothing is wrong with me, that means that whatever emotions I'm feeling and whatever thoughts I'm having, that there is a reason to them. That they make sense, and it's a normal reaction to things happening in my life. But that's not the case! I feel and think these things REGARDLESS!

So how do you explain this, if there is "nothing wrong with me"??

It was really frustrating. I felt like she didn't believe me, and once, when I told her I really didn't feel like getting out of bed and doing anything at all, feeling unmotivated etc, she laughed and said, oh right, like feeling too lazy to do anything right and I was like. okay. no.

Being lazy, is a whole other issue altogether.

I'm not someone, to not do important things, and let myself fall apart, simply because of laziness. I won't let myself. Which is why I've been fighting it even more nowadays, because I gave in to it initially when I first felt it for the first few times. Back then, I thought well maybe if I really sink myself into it, I'll "use it up" and then I can move on. You know how they say, accepting the emotion instead of being in denial so you can find out what's wrong, accept it and then move on. But nooo.... I let myself sink into it, and only got out a few months later. It was horrible. That period of my life is a blur, I don't even know what was going on, I was just surviving blindly.

She did, eventually, give me a referral to some mental health organisation because I think she could tell that I was exasperated she wasn't giving me a diagnosis of some sort (my fault, sorry), but then I met another kind of frustration.

The man I talked to, basically told me that I wasn't depressed enough to have depression.

Oh, your life isn't in complete shambles? Oh, you can still get out of bed in the morning? Oh, you haven't missed a bunch of meals or ate until your stomach exploded? Oh, you still have friends? Yeah, I don't think you're depressed. You're fine.

Excuse me, perhaps I feel these ways in a milder version. I may not feel like eating, but I eat something anyway because I'm not to the point where I want to starve myself. Besides, eating is a coping mechanism for me. A great distraction. So not eating? yeah no, not gonna happen. Eating too much? I eat a lot normally, so it's not really a thing. I really can't tell the difference. But yes, now, I do see the differences abit more clearly perhaps after a longer period of monitoring myself, I do eat less when I'm down. But not to the point of not eating because I'm not suicidal yet.

Sleep patterns is a whole other thing. I can safely tell you that when I am down, I sleep past 2am, unless I have a headache and have to sleep earlier. Because I lose track of time, and I don't want to be alone with my head. I get a bad feeling about it sometimes. Which is why I can't be alone, usually, when I'm down because I'm scared that negative thoughts will overwhelm me.

The thing is though, I am someone who also wants to be empowered to live their life, so I'm not going to just sit back and let all these things ruin my life. I fight back. So to say that as if my grades are slipping like shit and I'm going to LET it? nope, not gonna happen. I have a career ahead of me and no matter how shitty I feel and how unmotivated I am to do anything about it, you'd be sure I will sit myself on that chair, and I will stare at my laptop screen until I do some work. No it will not be my best work. But it will be something. So to say that I'm going to let all these things happen and me just letting it be, as a sign of depression? no. I felt insulted, if I have to be completely honest.

So at that point I did get pissed, and outrightly asked him, "okay so if I don't have depression, what is this? why do I feel all this? there has to be a reason for it", and he finally gave in not fighting me on it, that I may have depressive symptoms, but then added, but not to the point of depression yet.

I guess it was the most I could get out of him at that point.

I feel bad that I want people to diagnose me. I want to feel that these thoughts and emotions to be validated by a mental health issue, because, like what I asked him, if this isn't it, them give me a good reason why my thoughts and emotions are irrational!

I believe I made my stand clear ... I hope to hear what you have to say. Thank you for listening.

[stellatateblog]

T nation write up

T nation has a lot of good articles came across this one just now..

T Nation addresses the current state of steroid science, this time addressing off-season drug cycles, scar tissue from injections, the overblown dangers of oral steroids, and a one-shot-a-month cruise.

Off-Season Cycling for Bodybuilders

T NationWhat does a typical off-season cycle look like for some of the bigger competitive bodybuilders (heavyweight or super heavyweight)? Admittedly, things vary a bit from guy to guy, but once you reach a certain level of development there are a few constants. Most of the big guys will run a Testosterone base – since we’re talking offseason, usually enanthate or cypionate – at around 1200-2000 mg per week. Testosterone (T) is the bread and butter of any cycle; I rarely work with anyone that doesn’t run a decent dose. Sometimes I’ll have a guy that likes to keep his anabolics (boldenone, nandrolone) higher than his T dose, but that’s rare. Next up would be the anabolic, and most bigger dudes will run 600-1000 mg per week of either Equipoise (boldenone) or Deca-Durabolin (nandrolone). Sometimes they’ll use Primobolan or trenbelone, but that’s not typical in the offseason; most stick with just boldenone and nandrolone and alternate back and forth between the two, say 8-10 week periods of each. After that, you’re looking at a daily growth hormone dose (4-10 IUs/day). I personally don’t think there’s any need to go higher than that, though some will run more if they can afford it. Most guys (not all, mind you, but most) will use insulin too, usually Humulin-R or Humalog at around 10-20 units per day. Again, this is something that some will use more of, but I don’t think that’s wise from a health standpoint – or even needed, from a growth standpoint. After that, some might run the odd oral steroid here and there, such as a 4-week cycle of Dianabol or Anadrol every couple months or so, but again, that’s not really necessary – some guys just like the quick boost in strength and water bloat. Oh, and most will run some sort of anti-estrogen year round too, like Arimidex at 1 mg every other day or thereabouts. That pretty much covers the basics. Injection Site Scarring

T Nation: Say I’ve started my first serious off-season cycle: 2-3 grams a week of gear, not including orals. I gotta say, it’s a lot of injections – way more than my poor glutes and delts are used to. How do the guys at the top level deal with things like scar tissue? Well, first off, nobody in their right mind uses large gauge needles anymore; long gone are the days of 18g-22g harpoons or those "classic" Sustanon redi-jects. Nowadays, most guys are using 23-25 gauge pins, which are much smaller and don’t create near as much damage. Still, they’re doing a lot of shots per week, so they’re forced to rotate sites often. Standard body parts like glutes, quads, and delts are just part of the rotation – they also hit lats (lats can easily take 3 cc’s), biceps, triceps, traps, rear delts and even chest – that one always gives me the heebie-jeebies though; I suppose I’ve seen Pulp Fictiontoo many times to give that site an honest go. You also have to remember that there’s a bit of a benefit to scar tissue in certain areas – when it builds up, it basically provides a cosmetic effect, not too unlike Synthol. If you build up enough scar tissue in your rear delts, they’re going to look bigger (and not stupid, if you do it right); same thing for parts like the outer lats. But if the real issue is you simply hate pinning yourself, that’s another matter entirely. Either get over it or quit – no one’s forcing you to be a bodybuilder, right? Chinese GH

T Nation: Everyone is using generic Chinese growth hormone these days. How good is this stuff, really? Is it made in a Beijing bathtub? I keep seeing news stories about toys from China being recalled for containing lead and whatnot, and that’s not even the black market! When the generics first hit the market a few years back, I too, was skeptical, but the results I’ve seen (and experienced) so far have been good, for the most part. The cost of Chinese GH is so much cheaper than domestic pharmacy grade GH (under $2 per IU when purchased in bulk, as opposed to at least $6-8 per IU for the pharmaceutical grade stuff) that you can’t help but wonder about the quality of it, but it’s no big mystery: we all know the Chinese can produce a shit ton of stuff for next to nothing, and without rigid pharmaceutical standards to adhere to – or other pesky ethical roadblocks like labor standards – their overhead can be significantly lower. That obviously brings issues like quality and potency into question. I know some guys that have a hookup with a lab and for the past year have been testing Chinese GH for quality and quantity per vial. Quantity-wise, the results haven’t exactly been consistent – some of the 10 IU vials have registered at only 4 IUs, while others have checked out at 9-9.5 IUs. There even was an 8 IU vial that actually checked out at 9 IUs per vial – what a deal! Quality wise, it’s a better story. I’ve never seen one come back positive for lead or arsenic, so as far as I can tell I think we’re all good on that front. It appears it’s just a matter of getting the quantity you think you’re paying for. Quite honestly, even if it’s slightly less potent than the label claims it to be, in my mind the cost reduction more than makes up for it. But I suppose it goes without saying that you should always be confident in what you’re putting into your body, so trusting your source is of the utmost importance. I know the black market is always shady, and suffice it to say, regular business rules don’t always apply, but at least try to get to know your source so that you can develop a sense of trust in whatever you’re getting. Here’s what I suggest – let them know that you’re aware of testing to determine the potency and quality – if they know you’re going to be checking on them, they’ll be less likely to pass along a shoddy product. Steroid Hepatotoxicity

T Nation: We’ve heard that the negative effects of oral steroids are grossly overstated, and taking something as benign as a Tylenol a day is more harmful to the liver. What gives? I will admit, the hepatotoxicity of steroids (especially orals) is overstated. Ask anyone who works in an ER and they will tell you that Tylenol causes far more liver failures than oral steroids – and yes, I realize that there are many more Tylenol-users than there are admitted oral steroid-users – but steroid use has increased exponentially since the 1970s while liver failure has not. You do the math. That’s not to say oral steroids or any steroids are "safe," by any means, but I would be much more concerned about their effects on blood pressure and hemoglobin/hematocrit than the liver. That said, some of my guys will limit their oral use to pre-contest only, when it’s pretty much mandatory, and stick to injectables in the offseason. I do, however, still have quite a few guys who will run orals in the offseason as well, and so far none have had any issues (we keep tabs on things with blood work every 3 months or so). Speaking of blood work, here’s something to note: everyone focuses on ALT (alanine transaminase) and AST (aspartate aminotransferase) levels as being the main indicators of liver health, but there are many things that can throw those numbers off like training, possessing higher amounts of muscle mass, or having a higher BMI. If you can, make sure you get GGT (gamma-glutamyl transpeptidase) included with your bloodwork – it’s a much better indicator of liver health. I’ve seen many bodybuilders with elevated AST and ALT levels, but have yet to see any with an elevated GGT. Still, I have all my guys take liver supplements like Milk Thistle and Liv-52, year round. Testosterone Undecanoate

T Nation: We’ve heard that some guys between "blast" phases are "cruising" with a really long-estered Testosterone, something like a once-a-month shot? What’s this all about? What you’re referring to is Testosterone undecanoate, in injectable form. You may have heard of TU before – it was originally produced in an oral form called "Andriol," that supposedly worked by way of the lymphatic system but never really panned out, results-wise. The injectable form is a different story. Known by its pharmaceutical name "Nebido," it’s been prescribed for years in Europe and other countries around the world. It comes in a 4 ml. amp that contains a total of 1,000 mg of TU, and is usually injected in 6-14 week intervals. For many bodybuilders, this is obviously much less of a hassle than taking a shot of cypionate or enanthate every 3 to 7 days. The FDA has yet to approve Nebido for use in the US, but UGLs (underground laboratories) can easily obtain TU in powder form and manufacture it themselves, so it’s readily available to those in the know. Some guys like "cruising" with it between cycles, and some even run it year round, as a "backdrop" to their bigger cycles. I can’t say that it offers much benefit to the user other than the reduced injection frequency, but like I discussed above in the scar tissue question, the fewer shots you can do, especially at the pro level, the better.

T nation write up syndicated from https://ugbodybuildingblog.wordpress.com/