#1) is fuck math. context im in my math class

[m1d-45]

re: sibling anon’s ask:

Imagine if said Creator had to leave Mondstadt early the next morning because their presence was requested by other nations. Poor boy would return, only to miss them again.

…I’m sorry, Kaeya…

- cryo anon

….no :(

he wakes up and you’re not there, it’s as if you never were, there’s no note or anything, he’s just.. somehow in his bed.

diluc says you left for liyue last night. he means after you took kaeya home, of course, but kaeya assumes he means prior.

how dare his mind think of you that way? think that somebody such as you would touch somebody as tainted and defiled as him? how dare he assume you’d be kind to a sinner as bad as he, how dare he think he deserved kindness from anybody but you?

it’s a bitter day, and he can’t help but think that he needs a drink.

[gold-rhine]

op have you ever taken a math class in your life?? a 55/140 ratio is NOT better than a 88/94 ratio, 55%*140%=77% is less than 88%*94%≈83%

i just saw this ask from forever ago, im so mad you never gonna see my answer, but i guess you already know you're wrong bc you boosted the crit rate numbers and lowered crit dmg numbers from mu actual post

like where did u get these numbers? in my post i was comparing 80% crit rate\ 90 crit dmg (bc this is what i actually saw in the wild) to 50 PLUS crit rate and 150 PLUS crit dmg. you're not even taking into account reaction multipliers here, bc like vape can make a crit much higher value than your bare bones formula

but like even if we simplify and strip away reactions, lets look at dmg calculation for itto with same base stats and dif crits, bc he's pure geo damage and we can track his cow skill for clear difference.

with 80 crit rate 90 crit dmg his cow hits for 1765

with 56% crit rate 150% crit dmg it hits for 1889

which is bordline the numbers i was talking about.

also, you lose the context which was i was giving advice on how to better prioritize your stats and that high investement crit rate on your dps will not give you same result as high investement crit dmg, so while both are important, crit dmg should be in higher ratio to crit rate, which is why all fucking theory crafting sites will rec you 1:2 crit rate - crit dmg ratio

for example, if we change crit dmg build itto by adding 10% to crit dmg, we get 1946

and if we add 10% to crit build we get 1866 cow

and that like bare bones stats, i was just bouncing the crit ratio, but if you add the actual relevant stats and reactions and buffs, the gap will be higher.

this was about what crit ratio is better to build in genshin and what stat will scale better with investment bc its fucking better to build 50 crit rate 150 crit dmg and then improve the build by raising either of these, then build 80 crit rate 90 crit dmg and then try to improve crit dmg while keeping same crit rate, which will be fucking imposibble for casual player i was writing for

[ilovedilfs228007]

SO

My class is planning our prom now, so feel like telling the internet that stupid story of mine.

It will be very difficult to explain in English but let's thank our lord and saviour Google translator.

When I finished primary school i wanted to go to a class with chemistry/biological bias (let's call it class D) (context: there are mostly stupid students in that class and the were... Well, they weren't studying in our country's official language and my parents disliked that) but my parents decided that i will be studying in the class with math bias (let's call it class B). So i went to the class B, i hate math, im bad at math, but this class was "strong" so my parents were happy. But I wasn't. It was a very ehh tough time for me cause depression, i tried to 💀 myself and i really liked one girl and she was "hetero". lol i nearly came out as trans know so.... Ok, im shutting up. So, i hated math, i loved chemistry and chemistry loved me and the only thing that prohibited our happiness was my timetable. 8. MATH. CLASSES. IN. A. WEEK. And 2 (two) (✌️) chemistry lessons (it also could be 1, so 2 was not so bad actually). I hated it.

I was older now, my parents were quite pliable after the whole depression thing, so i decided to go from class B to class D. (Context: people in clas B were really, really good, i knew most of them from primary school, i had really good friends there, i absolutely loved our form-master, they all were funny, i loved them. No bulling took place). I convinced myself it all was for the good, that i will be far away from the girl i liked, i will be far away from the teachers i disliked, i will have much better timetable. It still hurt to go so far away from my friends and form-master, i felt like i betrayed them. Maybe i still feel it.

I didn't know the people from the class D. Their form-master is a motherfucking asshole, im scared af of my history teacher now (I will write about her someday). They had so fucking good chemistry teacher, i liked her a lot, like A LOT but i could only work with her for two months and then she retired. I nearly made a friend there, maybe we could even be something more than friends but then CORONA VIRUS. And then other very unpleasant events that changed our lives. I didn't make friends there, I don't like these people, i can't wait to get rid of them.

So now, when u know all the story. Our form-master said that instead of a prom in a restaurant we could go to a resort together. 12 km of rafting (im so physically weak that i want to cry), taking baths in hot springs TOGETHER (i don't want to be ???undressed??? near them nor do i want to see all of them undressed. And im trans lol). And it's expensive af. PLEASE, CAN WE JUST GO TO A RESTAURANT, EAT DRINK AND GO AWAY SO I CAN NEVER SEE U ALL AGAIN???

I will eat pizza and leave. Idk why but i still hope that class B will invite me to their prom. I would go. I would be happy to go. But nobody likes traitors, huh?

[imeverywoman420]

no you're fucking right about math like i have some natural skill i guess for math and find it interesting occasionally like i did math competitions and tested into higher math classes but i slowly and steadily flunked out because of the sheer pressure and anxiety and lack of time mgmt that high school math fosters. and i would get vaguely sexist comments implying that i was failing at math because i enjoyed socializing and boys too much even though all my other grades were high. mathoids purposefully (though perhaps not fully consciously) create an environment where the only way to succeed in math is to forgo other areas of life and make it your #1 priority in life so they can feel smug about being smarter than people who simply don't have as much time as them. there are definitely better ways to teach math in school but mathoids don't want it. sure, some people are never going to like it but plenty of us have some potential but it's just notttt fucking worth it

The way they teach math is so fucking insane… HOW ARE WE BEHIND??? THE SEMESTER JUST STARTED????

Not kidding even in elementary school it was ridiculous how much math was prioritized. In 4th grade we had to take home HUGE math textbooks and do 30 problems a night and it only kept getting worse. Dude every other subject is taught so relatively normal

Every other subject: history, context, beginner entry level knowledge until you get to about 10th/11th grade. HELL WE LEARNED THE WATER CYCLE ABOUT 5 DIFFERENT TIMES????

But math??? Jesus christ. No context or pacing whatsoever. No discussion. TEACHERS ACTUALLY GET MAD WHEN YOU ASK QUESTIONS LOOOLLL

math teachers would be such bullies like if u asked a question theyd just sigh and be like. U werent listening. Or if u just said “i dont get it/im confused” theyd be pissed off cause they want u to be specific

[marquis-de-all-the-knives]

#UR NOT A TUMBLR TROGLODYTE I CHNAGED THE REBLOG BC I M DUMB I PULLED OUT MY DYNAMICS NOTS IM GONNA FIGURE THIS OUT#how did you avoid the differential equations🥺#what the fuck🥺🥺🥺🥺#okay i literally pulled out my dynamics text book and shit and did my research#fort galfridian whoever she is is fucking weird but like#okay ASSUMING the tube sun is DENSE ENOUGH that the cylinders rotate around it to simulate gravity#or wait do the cylinders rotate themselves?#because it depends what your center of rotation is#if it’s the sun!!!!#then yes congrats you have gravity#the thing is that each cylinder is a different distance from the tube sun#they’d all rotate at increasing velocities proportional to the increase in distance from the tube sun#so to keep THEM ALL going at gravity#each outer layer would get faster (think like how planets do the same thing as they’re further from our sun)#but their orbits (in this case the diameter of the cylinder) are longer as well#they could just let gravity decrease the further out you get from the tube sun#okay like but the sun is only 12.5 miles away from them?????? how do they not die?????#okay back to the main point#I THINK??????#if the next layer is moving at a velocity that allows them to also keep gravity constant#you would not notice the difference because typically as you get further from the center of rotation (ASSUMING ITS THE TUBE SUN???)#then you’d just get floaty#but if the next layer is still going fast enough to have gravity (that 9.81 m^2/s we know and love) then the only scary part i could see#is the transtion from one layer to another#im not sure what that’d look like though and it could be avoided by just having a 0 gravity transtion room between layers#well actually no the transition wouldnt be scary because you’re also rotating and so you’re frame of reference is not stationary#so tl;dr#each layer goes fast as FUCK and since you’re in one layer going fast as FUCK you won’t actually notice the change too much between layers#if the other layers don’t spin tho???#DO NOT STICK YOUR HAND OUT OMG SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR HAND YOU’RE RIGHT

okie i’m gonna move this into its own post @crychanwastaken​ and i’ll tag #fort galfridian math for anyone who’s lost interest at this point. and first of all i want to salute you for digging out old textbooks for this discussion. like, bravo, that is AWESOME.

(i did not avoid differential equations — i avoided the one class that was exclusively about differential equations and would’ve gone way more in depth than a standard calc class. ANYWAY—)

okie so @thedreadvampy​’s original post covered this but it was hidden under a readmore so here’s the basic idea:

two suns! one real, one fake. (fluorescent, according to the canon. the canon = High Noon over Camelot, an album by The Mechanisms.) nothing on the station is big enough to provide significant gravity, so everything is coming from the rotation. so yeah, you are absolutely right about the “gravity” varying with distance! by my calculations, if the innermost layer is radius 12.5 miles and the outermost 15 miles, you’ll only be going from 1 gee to about 1.2 gee. I have... no frame of reference for how wacky that would feel. but like, imagine suddenly gaining an extra 20% of your body weight. i feel like you’d at least NOTICE.

i did not even think of concentrically rotating cylinders for consistent gravity! i don’t have any impression that that was intended by the source material, as characters seem to navigate between the layers pretty much on foot and unrestricted. but it’s a fun idea to play with!

a summary of what we know about the station from canon: https://marquis-de-all-the-knives.tumblr.com/post/624472261126193152/all-references-to-the-structure-workings-orbit and also some extra context from the band artist here: https://thedreadvampy.tumblr.com/post/624542261472002048/a-round-boy-the-pylons-hold-up-the-sun-which-is and an illustration of the outside of the station here: https://twitter.com/windhounded/status/1286777579396108289 (by one of the bandmates)

I took a slight liberty in the diagram above by putting Fort Galfridian's axis of rotation perpendicular to the plane of its orbit. The tarot card art makes it look like the axis points along the radius of revolution, but I think it would get more even heating this way so that's how I've been imagining it.

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

[nyanko-miku]

tales from 3rd hour

for context, my 3rd hour math teacher is the most chill guy i have ever met. he just turned 40, wish him a happy birthday! here are some stories that he’s told us/fun things that have happened in our class.

1. a kid punched this calculator and broke it, but mr. [redacted] didn’t see it. everyone else in the class saw it. the office refused to punish him because they didn’t want to deal with his parent.

2. a kid drew a HUGE penis on the whiteboard. mr. [redacted] asked, “hey, why’d you draw that huge penis on my whiteboard?” and the kid replied “cause man, you’re a dick!” the office didn’t do anything because “he wants to be punished, so we won’t punish him.”

3. mr. [redacted2] (different teacher, he quit) came out as gay, said he hated his classes, and told everyone to go fuck themselves before he left on the last day of school. he was put in the teaching position without a choice after he was the school librarian. awesome dude, now he’s a librarian at the public library.

4. we hide in cabinets and in trash cans before class. one time it took 10 minutes for mr. [redacted] to find everyone.

5. mr. [redacted] told us that if he was gone for 10 minutes we could leave. one day, he was and we all filed out of the classroom, and ran down the hallway. he didn’t come back until 25 minutes later because of a schedule change.

6. a few years ago, a girl flipped her desk and left the classroom. mr. [redacted] gave her a salute as she stormed off.

7. when mr. [redacted] said 69, someone giggled, and he stared them down and said “what? tell me what’s funny about that number? come on, do it. i dare you.”

8. mr. [redacted] often makes fun of his other classes and hilarious mistakes (only revealing names 60% of the time.) one time he showed us a DOUBLE MODIFIED test with EVERY QUESTION WRONG.

9. mr. [redacted] used to have a fake tree in his room, about 8 feet tall. last year’s class kept hiding sticky notes with bees on them around the room, and this year he found the last one.

10. sometime between last summer and this fall, his 8 foot tree got stolen. just,, stolen.

that’s it for now, but im sure i’ll be adding more stuff soon. he is one of the best teachers that i have EVER had. give him some love and support :)

[kiaoizz]

Some shit high schoolers have said to me

A few things you should know about me is that I go to a nEw sChOoL. *insert children cheering*

And I compiled a list of all the shit I’ve heard high schoolers say. Keep in mind, this is only three months of the year.

Here we go~

- As someone was shaking her crutches “Are you fucking my armpits?”

- “I’m overflowing with Satan’s semen”

- “If you masturbate but you’re dead inside is that necrophilia?”

- Kids will hide tiny, plastic babies at school and no one knows who does it. Someone put some of the baby arms on a girl’s desk “not again, I don’t want no more baby limbs on my desk”

- Again with the crutches “I dont wanna die from getting sliced open in the armpit”

- “Remember when I broke my anus on a chair? I also hit my vagina in the same go”

- Someone was telling me that the girl with crutches fell down “Someone said that their heart dropped down to their panties when they were helping her”

- I don’t remember the context “Ya know our lord and savior Jesus? I sucked his dick”

- “That apple was juicy as fuck. Just like people’s bootys”

My friends and I like to chill in the library during lunch, I read my friend’s text out loud “Libby’s Open...” my other friend misheard me“Libia’s open?”

- in response to a cullinary video “I like pounding the meat”

- as I was walking down the stairs and eavesdropping on people’s conversations “She’s straight up Satan in skinny jeans”

- while taking a test in class “This computer’s not working!” The teacher responded “No, I think it’s just you”

- This dude was being a pussy and not wanting to eat paper, my friend did it and the girl next to me said “She’s got more balls than you and she’s a girl”

- Another eavesdropping moment “What did you u call her again, Ariel?” “A chicken fucker”

- “I spilled the juices everywhere.” “Not the juices!” “Yeah the juices”

- This Crackhead male flute just came up to me and said “Criminal under fire, calls the police, hey I’m under fire”

- same guy, just two minutes later “FBI breaks into your house, calls FBI, there’s someone in my house”

- This girl walked into my sixth period and sat next to me and kept asking “hey can you smell anything?” All the guys around me and I just shook our heads no and she responds with “Yeah, it just smells like oxygen”

- percussionist explaining the sticks they use “oh, and I forgot the fish sticks”

- out of nowhere “Why does my mouth taste like Clorox wipes?”

- kid was making a joke in math “I think my cats a communist, he keeps talking about Mao”

- in response to a girl who was crying over an essay grade “It’s only Wednesday, you can’t cry until Thursday”

- “Im going to steal your kneecaps”

- talking to the substitute “I finished my work” “show me” she goes back and starts her work, he comes and finds her starting it “you lied to me” Later, she told me what happened and we were mocking him, she said “he was like ‘imma delete your kneecaps’” I said “he’s gonna steal your jew stash!” (She’s Jewish and let’s me joke about that) she starts laughing and says “he’s gonna delete my Jew stash”

- “I’m gonna get you a bejeweled dildo for you birthday”

- out of nowhere during lunch “Whats up my name’s Kyle, I’m fifteen and I like... Dick”

BONUS: K so these two guys came up the stairs and kept saying that band is not a sport, my friends disagreed. Friend 1 said “Lincoln, I’m going to break your penis!” Friend two said “a penis is not s bone” Boy 2 said “it would be hard to find since it’s so small” Lincoln said “and tight” I turned my head and laughed and said mockingly “Yes my penis is tight.” (I am a female) Friend 3 responded “It’s fresh. Ripe.” Friend 4 interjected, “What does an expired one look like, then.” Friend three thought for a second and then said “I guess that’s what happens when you get old, your penis expires”

[peachymhaechan]

“Wait... You’re the Little Voice Inside My Head?”

Genre: fluff, soulmate! au; you can hear your soulmate’s thoughts, which isn’t always the best thing

Pairing: Lucas X gender neutral reader

Warnings: cussing, you will have a cavity by the end of this it’s too damn sWEEt

A/N: wong yukhei can stay in his mcfreakin lane:)) okay:)) this hurt me to write he truly did make his way up my bias list and I am .? okay,, I guess this is what we are doing

ever since you were little, you always heard voices inside your head

those voices being 1. you, and 2. a little boy you had never heard out loud in your life

the first time you heard him was when you were four, playing with an imaginary friend in your room

I wonder what Mommy is making for dinner, you thought and lo and behold

I want my mommy to make something without vegetables!

uhhhhhhhhh .?

that was not your voice

but you being a four year old with an imaginary friend, you were like “cool I guess, sometimes it be that way” 

at dinner you brought it up to your parents, but of course they passed it off as your imaginary friends

I mean,, lets be real

you were little and ran around the house all day talking to your imaginary friends, so that was the logical explanation in that situation

that was only the first incident you had with the boy speaking in your head

and lemme just say, as y’all got older, it only got wilder

you only knew that he heard what you thought for one reason

he’d always, and I mean ALWAYS

respond

one time in elementary school, your class was taking a math test and you had no fuckin clue what was going on

uhhhhhhh what the frick is 8 times 9 divided by 2 plus 4???

don’t worry tho, your mystery boy came in clutch

40! The answer is 40! his little voice chimed, saving your ass and being the reason you scraped by with a b

as time went on, you heard him more and more, and occasionally yall would have full conversations

only when you got older did you realize

shit dawg, this is my soulmate

once you hit middle school, you finally sat your parents down and basically said

that imaginary friend that would talk in my head when I was little hasn’t gone away and im pretty sure that’s my soulmate quirk

of course your parents were like. oh ? worm ? 

you explained to them the whole thing tho

“ive had legitimate conversations with him before, he hears some of my thoughts and I hear his. I can’t really control what all he hears, though, and neither can he, so it’s very weird to hear things out of context.” 

the entire time your parents sat there, both confused and happy

on one hand, they didn’t fully understand how it all worked, 

and on the other, they were proud because their lil baby was all grown up, talking to their soulmate!! moving towards the second part of their life !!

from that moment, your quirk progressed even more

you started to talk to him more and more, and he heard more and more of your thoughts

it was odd, really, because everybody has thoughts that make them guilty

you know, thoughts that can embarrass you for even thinking them?? 

not because they’re dumb (although let’s be real, everyone has their fair share of dumb thoughts), 

but because you know they’re mean:/

one night you were up thinking that,

thinking: you probably hate me…. all of my thoughts are so mean and harmful, and it brings me shame to know that I can be so vile to people without even meaning to. I’m sorry…. I wouldn’t blame you for hating me. 

for some reason, your mystery boy was awake (bitch go tf to sleep it’s three in the damn morning) and he responded

hey, two things…. 1. you’re such a dumbass, and 2. it’s not your thoughts that matter, but how you react to them afterward. the fact that you think your thoughts can come off as mean show that you care, and that you’re not as shitty of a person that you think you are. 

listen,,, we all know lucas ain’t always that deep but we can pretend for this au ok

you sat there in complete shock and then he went, anyways you adorable idiot, go to sleep, you have finals in the morning. 

from that night on, you talked to him more and more

had a bad day? lucas would know all about it as soon as you got home

lucas did something embarrassing while out in public? you’d hear about it while in public as he tried not to spontaneously combust

you will never believe what I just did…. the barista told me to have a good day and I said “you’re welcome”

of course you laughed,,, that dumbass is supposed to be your soulmate ?? 

how

but you told him chill dude, everyone says shit like that sometimes, it happens to the best of us 

he was with you during your cringey phases (as you were with him during his) 

he was there the first time you had your heart broken

your friends all told you not to date the popular basketball player, but you said yeet I guess and well

lucas consoled you as you cried, not over that boy but over yourself for thinking something like that could work

“I don’t know why I even tried. He isn’t you, and he never will be. Hell, I don’t even know your damn name but I know we fit together more than that guy and I ever could.” 

that night was the first night you learned his name, wong yukhei, or lucas as his friends called him

“My name is Wong Yukhei, but my friends call me Lucas. And I’m sorry some guy treated you like shit. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, you deserve the whole world. I wish I knew who you were, where you were, so I can finally meet you and tell you everything I never told you.”

and that was the first night he learned your name 

“y/n, my name is y/n, and I know we are going to meet soon. I just know it. I can feel it.” 

and you were kind of right ??

it all depends on what your definition of soon is tbh

bc that whole sappy convo took place in your junior year of high school

and y’all met in college !!

it was high key odd and not at all how either of you planned to meet, tho

it was your first week at college, and you were nervous af

parents? gone. responsibilities? crippling. adulting? expected. 

you finished moving in a while ago, and by then had met your not so pleasant roommate 

let’s just say uhhhhhh this roommate had been a complete and utter dickhead

so you threw on some shoes, grabbed your laptop and wallet, and went to the library on campus

after all, it was only the first week, there shouldn't be too many

you walked in and the first thing you saw was someone crying and saying “FUCK SCHOOL” 

naturally you were like, “bitch me too. tf?” 

but decided to not say that to that kid so you quickly skrrted the fuck out there (yote, if you will)

as you dipped real quick, you went through your options in your head

coffee? target? dorms? 

coffee seemed like your best bet, so you hauled your ass to the campus café 

as soon as the door opened, stress melted from your mind

i’ll drink to that, bro

the place was not too busy, it was during the middle of the day so people were either asleep or busy

there wasn't a line so you walked up to the person working at the register 

“shit fuck what should I order from this coffee place??” 

“mountain dew with two shots of espresso” - the ever so helpful Wong Yukhei

“okay what the fuck??” 

“lemme get uhhhhhhh iced coffee I guess,” you said, paying and waiting for your drink

while waiting, you went and grabbed a straw, and out of the corner of your eye you spotted a fuckin. GiAnt enter the establishment

he seemed goofy tho,,, so u were like. ok. cool. pop off, I guess. 

you couldn’t hear him speak, but inside your head you heard, “Iced coffee.” 

“yeah, what about it? I already ordered it, you’re a little late.” 

he did not respond which had you going ?? miss keisha, miss keisha, oh my fucking god she fucking dead !

you patiently waited for your cold bean juice while the guy paid and literally stumbled right by your feet to get a straw for himself

before you could ask if the Clumsy Giant was okay, the barista called out, “ Y/N!” 

you went to pick up the drink, and felt two eyes drilling holes in the back of your head

naturally, you turned around like. ? we got beef? 

but found the actually kinda cute boy staring at you in shock

“What?” you sheepishly asked, not sure if you had something on your face or if something was genuinely wrong, which would explain why that weirdo stared dead at you 

???

“Y/N.... y-your name is Y/N?” he asked, and his voice clicked right away

fuck, dude

you already knew the answer, 

you could recognize that voice anywhere

but you still wanted to ask and make sure you are not dreaming

however, before you could ask, 

the barista called out his name

“Lucas!” 

f u c k, dude

“Wong Yukhei?” 

“Y/N L/N?” 

you two both broke out into a grin upon hearing the other say your name out loud

yall clung to each other, wrapping the other in a huge hug

meanwhile, the barista was standing behind the counter, waiting for lucas to grab his drink like :/ i’ll wait!

“this is touching, and all.... but can you please grab your coffee?” 

“THAT IS MY SOULMATE!” lucas announced, obviously giddy at finding you

and tbh, you were feeling it, too

yall sat down at a little table and for a while, just stared at the person sitting across from the other

then, “I’m glad I met you.” 

“Me, too,” he agreed

and thus the start of a relationship with pretty much no communication issues ever, 

mostly due to the fact that there were no secrets 

not that either of you minded, because lets face it

you two had souls that were reflections from one another, and you can’t hide a secret from yourself so why would you hide a secret from him? 

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 3]

I have to warn you all that this chapter has a rape scene in it. It’s completely ridiculous, and I really don’t know if that makes it better or worse. Proceed with caution.

Recap: Edward gave into tempation and tried putting the moves on Tiaa. She went along with it at first, but then pushed him away because they were in public and Edward already has a girlfriend. Edward seems to think Tiaa is a vampire, even though she doesn’t appear to be and his thinking she is doesn’t really make sense. 

Chapter 1 Previous chapter

AN - hi guys hope u like this one im quite proud of it! 

That’s a bit worrying.

thanx for the suport from my frends love u girls!glad u like it! oh an VINCENT ur so dumb of course tiaa didnt go to math in only her bra shes not a total ditz! 

Hey, you never said she put her shirt back on! Actually, you also described Edward ripping it off her, and we know it’s made out of fishnet, so… I kinda doubt she still has a shirt left to put back on.

one more time...DONT READ IF U DNT LIKE IT!

I can’t imagine not liking this story. I’m being serious. It’s a masterwork. It’s right up there with “My Immortal” in my eyes.

NO frickin flames what is the POINT of flamin ppl there is NO POINT so f off!

I think the point is to annoy the author. Which appears to be working.

Capter 3 – uncle larry

Wow! Really looking forward to the capter!

I sa t alone watching tv at dave and maries house. I couldnt stop thinking about my encounter with Ewdard Cullen earlier that day. He was so beuatifull and sexoy with such amazing hair and eyes I could hardly believe he had notice someone like me! 

Just me or is she a tad fixated on his hair?

Also… Tiaa isn’t the sort of girl who blends in, and she knows it. She’s aware that she’s pretty and she’s used to getting attention — both positive and negative — because of her looks. She’s also loud (she yelled at Edward when he bumped into her), and she dresses in a manner that… well, let’s just say most small-town high school students don’t dress like Tiaa. This girl isn’t ordinary and she’s well aware of it. Why the false modesty?

But I was angry at how he had made me feel, how I'd burnt like crimson hot flame wean he touched me and how he'd not listened to me when id' told him to fring off, and how he dared to touch me at all when he had a GF anyways, even if she was a mean girl with an ugly heart and not that hawt. 

Not only has she not met Bella yet, she hasn’t heard anyone talk about Bella either, so I don’t know how she came to the “she’s a mean girl with an ugly heart” conclusion.

But nomatter how much I try to hate him, I simply couldn't. Suddenly the phone range

"hello "

"hey, is that altantiana?"

"yah who is this?" I aksed.

"its Mike nooton from your class! 

She hasn’t met Mike yet either, unless that happened in the deleted scenes or something. I guess, if he called her house phone, that he could have got Dave and Marie’s number out of the school directory… but this seems a little weird if they’ve literally never met.

I was wondering if your wanted to go to La Plush with me too morrow night maybe? 

To clarify, he is talking about a beach. He means La Push. Stuffed animals are probably not involved.

Theres a party on the beech with whole crowd of us going and I thought you seemed relay nice so I thought maybe youd want to me my date please? -

I can maybe buy that a high school boy is desperate enough to ask a random pretty girl to a party with him in the hopes that maybe it’ll kindle some sort of romance, but this is a really bad way to go about it. Asking out a girl you’ve never met is… not the best plan. Why not just frame it as inviting her along because she’s a new student and it would be a good opportunity for her to hang out and make friends? You don’t have to be explicit about your crush before you’ve even had a conversation with her.

Also I think Mike is already dating Bella’s friend Jessica, but fuck her, I guess.

"arent you the guy who hangs out with all the pathetic chearleaders and stuff?" I asked

"you mean bella and jessica's gang? 

I’m gonna wait a bit to talk about how weird it is that Bella is hanging with a “gang” of cheerleaders, but like… why does Tiaa know Mike hangs out with them? Again, this is their first conversation, and (as far as we know) the first time she’s even heard of him.

Sometimes I guess but theyr'e way shallow and not as hot as you. 

He’s maybe undermining his own point there.

And they can be mean sometimes.-"

So… like anyone, then?

"then why do hang out white them then you shallow CREEP!and why are you askin me out when you harely no me mike! Cos u think im' hot? Why cant you see your just as shallow if you want to date someone just cost of what they look like - I'm not THAT pretty anyways! 

Oh, Tiaa, you and I were on the same page until you pulled the fake modesty card. Besides, isn’t this a bit of an overreaction? He asked you to hang out with him at the beach, it’s not like he’s proposing marriage or anything.

And even if i was, I'm SO screwed up in the bran you cant even imagine! u would no want to date me if you new how screwed up I was!"

What exactly does she mean by “screwed up in the brain bran”? Like, are we talking legitimate mental illness, or is this just teenage angsting? And, in either case, what exactly is her problem that makes her undateable? This is about the vaguest possible rejection, and I don’t know if she’s implying something is actually wrong with her or that she’s just Not Like Other Girls.

"I would, tia, beleive me I would! Your so beautiful you cant even imagine. Your so pretty people lose there minds when your around and forget there names and forget to brethe! 

That’s your only reason? She’s pretty? Weren’t you saying something about cheerleaders being shallow a minute or two ago?

How can't you have noticed that? 

Decent point, actually. If your character is dropping jaws and turning heads with her beauty, either she’s aware she’s beautiful or there’s a reason she doesn’t realize. Like… maybe Tiaa thinks the people staring at her are doing so because of how she dresses, not because they think she’s pretty. Tiaa has actually seemed pretty aware of her effect on others throughout, though, so unless she’s just playing modest around Mike for some reason this scene doesn’t make any sense.

And I don't CARE how screwed up you are! It only maked you more interesting! 

He’s not even gonna ask for clarification on that?

Your cool and different and you are honest about stuff! you are right to be angry with me. I'm sorry for benign shallow and dumb just give me a chance to show you how much I care, please? "

The argument he’s making would probably be way more convincing if this wasn’t, you know, their first conversation ever.

"well...ok maybe ill go along if I dont have anything else to do" i said, not believing a word he said about how pretty i was.

Oh, come on.

"thank you altantiana thank you so much!" he sounded so happy I couldnt help but smile as I put the phone down but my smile faded as I return to my thoughts. Mike Nooton was kinda cute and seemed like an ok guy but he was nothing next to Ewdard Cullen. 

Yeah, I guess when compared to the weird dude who tried to fuck you in a locker room and threw a shirt at your head Mike really isn’t worth a second thought.

Even though I was anger with edward than I have ever been with anyone in my life and part of me wanted to chop his head off with a sore, a part of my soul would all ways remain in that coridoor where we had kissed so hard and passionably. 

My mistake, they were in a hallway, not a locker room. Not sure if that’s better or worse, but, depending on how busy that hallway normally is, it’s probably worse.

I creamed myself. 

Didn’t need to know that.

My heart had soared that day like never before, and i new that no one else would ever make me feel like that again, then I thought how he was a cheater and a bastard and my face burnt with shame. I couldn't beleive I had behaved like such a hore. 

I mean… she didn’t, really. She went along with his advances up to a point, and it doesn’t really show good judgement on her part, but he was the one acting like a “hore” in this situation. Putting the moves on a random girl in a public space when you’ve already got a girlfriend? Keep it classy, dude.

I was scared of the affect he had on me.

Effect. “Affect” is a verb. Nice sentence otherwise.

(Okay, if you’re a grammar pedant, “affect” isn’t always a verb… it can also be a noun, when we’re talking in a psychology context, which Tiaa isn’t.)

"bye tiaa! We'll be back on Thursday ok?" mari put her head rind the door suddenly

"Ok then, have fun" I wispered clammily..dave and marie where visiting relatives for a few day.

Convenient. Two less characters for the author to have to deal with.

Wait, no, oh my god, I just remembered what happens in this chapter.

"you look so pretty" she says, smiling -your the prettiest gril i've ever seen!”

I… okay, that’s some natural dialogue.

"omg whatever" I reply. I hated it wen people say that. 

Come on, girl, it’s just a compliment! Not like she’s hitting on you! At least I hope not.

I pulled my blond hair over my face. I was wearin a short hot pink dress cut low with black lace frills at the bottom and black lace stocking.

I kind of like that Tiaa is a goth girl who likes bright pink. There are plenty of real-life goth girls like that, but you pretty much never see them in fanfiction.

"daves brother larry will be looking after you wile where gone you'll be ok when where gone wont you tiaa? I hate to leaven you alone like this!"

You know “leaven” is what you do to bread to make it rise, right?

"i don't need a freakin babysiter u no!" i was so embarasing, I could look after myself!

Freudian slip? I mean, she is pretty embarrassing.

Marie smiles and leaves the house.

Marie doesn’t give a fuck, it seems.

"greeting a;latnaniana my names uncle larry" said uncle larry, he came in threw the door he was fat and bald with tiny black eyes and a red face

You know he’s a bad guy because he’s ugly. That’s how it works!

"Hey - i said

"your the orphan arent you" he says "is it true you kiled your mother when she gave birth to you?”

Nice to meet you too, Uncle Larry.

"Wat!" I cry, my eyes filling with tears

"your an evil bich arent u? Go outsite and wash my car" he shouts angerly

I’ve just thought of a fun game. There are five more chapters left. Let’s all place bets on which chapter Uncle Larry will get horribly murdered in.

I stood up and left to wash his car. I got soap and a bucket, afraid of what he would do if I refuzed. I went outside and started to wash hush car it was a red porche. He came outside and wached me and I new he was waching me! 

I know the implication is he’s watching her in a pervy way, but if I was making someone wash my car and I didn’t particularly like them I’d keep an eye on them too.

After a minite he came over and hit me hard across the face

"wft!" i shouted

What Fuck The?

He poored the bucket of water all over me and hit me again,. I was wet and crying and he started to rip my dress and bra of me and rip my clothes. He touched my naked breats and I try to push him off me I screamed at him to stop but he did'nt. He bent me over the bonet of his car and spanked me on the ass for half an hour then he pulled my panties down and started to rape me!

I really don’t want to be laughing at a rape scene, because rape is one of those things that’s just inherently unfunny, but… this is testing me. I mean, an entire half hour of spanking? The dramatic announcement that he began raping her after he forcibly stripped her naked and spanked her for thirty minutes, as if this is a surprise? The fact that all of this is happening in plain view of any neighbors Dave and Marie might have? Good lord. I truly do not know how to react.

I also have to wonder why Tiaa makes little attempt to fight back here. It’s pretty reasonable to freeze up when you’re violently attacked, but Tiaa has proven that she’s both capable and willing to fight off anyone she perceives as a threat (kung fu babie!) previously in the story. Is Uncle Larry too physically powerful for her to win against? We don’t really know how big he is compared to her, and Tiaa has been described as strong and fast previously. Both of them are unarmed, and, if there are neighbors, the noise should alert someone to what’s going on (Tiaa has been shouting/screaming throughout). Why is he getting away with all this? Oh, right, plot reasons.

"stop raping me!" I cry but he didnt stop! 

Shocker.

The pain was terrible even tough his manhood was small. 

Didn’t need to know about his dick, thanks!

I cryed and cryed but he didnt stop for hours and when he finally stopped he left me on the floor and spat in my face and left me there. 

Wait… hours? This guy has impressive stamina.

I pulled on my clothes and cryed madly and ran off into the seething darkness of the midnight street. I ran and ran un till I came to some woods and then I fell down in the woods and cryed.

“Seething darkness of the midnight street” is a pretty good phrase, actually. I mean, super cheesy and doesn’t really mean anything, but if this was lyrics some alt-rock band wrote I’d accept it.

Suddenly a blast of white light exploded in head and my mark on my hand burned like a flame. I closed my eyes and saw the face of a tall white man looking over me with no expression, his eyes were burning red and his face glimmered cold and bright as the moon,. 

It was… VLODEMONT AND DA DETH DEALERS!

I fell back from the brightness of his body, his hair was dark as night,.

It was… VOLSEMORT IN A WIG AND DA DEATH DEELRS!

"atlantiana?" he whisperd in a voice softer than clouds -my daughter?-

Well, we all saw that one coming a mile off.

"omg" I whisperd as my mind went blank and the world went dark.

I hope she whispered the acronym instead of saying “oh my god.” Her dad will be totally confused! Old people don’t know how acronyms work!

Next chapter

[anarch-bee]

rant post:

it might be a little hard without context to understand this, but i’m going to fair a practical piano exam tomorrow, and honestly, the things i’d rather do include dying, being stabbed, having both my hands run over by a bus, as well as breaking both of my wrists. (i wish i was lying, but approximately 1 year ago i attempted intentionally breaking a wrist so i couldn’t take the exam. and last year there was actually a chance of passing. tomorrow is hopeless. i began piano lessons when i was 4 years old, at the time, my sister played, so of course, i asked to play because i thought my big sister was cool. then she quit. and all my other sisters had quit too, but as the youngest child, i’m not allowed to quit because my mum just HAS to have her music child.

i’ve been playing for over eleven years, and i absolutely fucking hate it. i’ve been trying to quit for at least the past three years. but what i hate more, is being threatened into continuing to do it. i have a job, almost weekly, my mother threatens to call my boss and resign on my behalf, i used to play volleyball, my parents would ground me from practiced to where i almost gotkicked off the team and i wasnt even permited to attend tryouts this year because my piano lessons “aren’t good enough” yes my parents are present during my lessons. my lessons which by the way typically involve crying and result in a whole lot of yelling and threats when they’re over. they know how miserabe this makes me

and just “passing” my practical wouldn’t be good enough. i’ve gotten first class honors on all of my piano exams and thats what they expect from me. they expect 85+ it’s not happening. for my exam tomorrow i am reuqired to play five songs, out of which i only know 2

i can’t even begin to play the other three, so im going to have to go in there and when the examiner asks me to play those, i’ll have to tell her i simply cant and its gonna be hard and ill fail and probably cry aand good god my mum cares moore about piano than my actual school. and im so sick of this

im sick of my mums shit and im sick of being told i “HAVE” to like it like i cant explain how much shit im going to be in when my parents find out i fail. like at least my parentsare away for the weekend. that leaves me all alone here with my sisters and also crying a whole load woah. i failed maths last semester and almost english but that fine but im failing this practicaly ecxam?i cant fail. there no way i can pass, but i cant do this.. nonooono

i want to diebefore tomorrow