#i am feelin so many emotions rn

[m1d-45]

re: sibling anon’s ask:

Imagine if said Creator had to leave Mondstadt early the next morning because their presence was requested by other nations. Poor boy would return, only to miss them again.

…I’m sorry, Kaeya…

- cryo anon

….no :(

he wakes up and you’re not there, it’s as if you never were, there’s no note or anything, he’s just.. somehow in his bed.

diluc says you left for liyue last night. he means after you took kaeya home, of course, but kaeya assumes he means prior.

how dare his mind think of you that way? think that somebody such as you would touch somebody as tainted and defiled as him? how dare he assume you’d be kind to a sinner as bad as he, how dare he think he deserved kindness from anybody but you?

it’s a bitter day, and he can’t help but think that he needs a drink.

[rationaliity]

voicelines about you | various ( i. )

the men's voiceline about you ! next will do a part of the women they're short because i wanted them to sound legit, which is why i did so many !! hope you enjoy anyways <33 this is all purely self indulgent because ill be real with you im not feeling very daijoubou rn

— DR. RATIO

about you : an incomprehensible yet enticing mess in the body of a person. i don't understand their way of thinking at all, and yet, it almost feels as if they understand me in a way few do. peculiar.

chat: his relationship with you : ..relationship is hardly the word i would use to describe our acquaintance. however, i suppose they are not completely inept, unlike many i have had the misfortune of coming across in my time.

added to team with you : take care of yourself. should i have to step in, i will do so to prevent some unfortunate happenstances.

— WELT YANG

about you : potentially one of the kindest individuals i have had the pleasure to be introduced to in my time of travelling the cosmos. a gentle soul like none other. they light up the world around them.

chat: his relationship with you : spending time with them has become a daily necessity for me. i find myself beginning to nag at the others when i have not spent enough time with them. march often asks me about them before anything else.

added to team with you : i appreciate your vitality, but try to take breaks whenever necessary.

— AVENTURINE

about you : quite the enigma, that one. before i even realized it, they had snuck their way into my heart. perhaps they were betting that i wouldn't notice, and perhaps.. it paid off for them.

chat: his relationship with you : they're the chip i hold closest to my chest. no.. a chip is the wrong comparison. they're the one thing i will always hold no matter the stakes of the bet. having them by my side is more important to me than any risk.

added to team with you : i'm willing to bet that the two of us together will make quite the team.

— ARGENTI

about you : the moment our eyes met, i knew they were someone of refined elegance, but i was wholly unprepared for the true beauty of their very being.

chat: his relationship with you : i feel the closest to idrila and the eternal beauty that i seek when i am with them. they bring out a fire in me that simply cannot be quenched by any other soul, as if i were a moth to their brilliant flame.

added to team with you : as usual, i find myself captivated by your beauty and grace, my dear.

— BOOTHILL

about you : i don't know another capable of runnin' things how they run things. they got my respect. well, much more than just my respect, but that ain't proper to say.

chat: his relationship with you : ain't nothin' like the nice feelin' of knowin' you're loved by someone no matter whatcha look like or what you're capable of. they've been there through it all, the bad, the ugly, and the muddle-fudgin' terrible.

added to team with you : well i'll be the son of a nice lady, if it isn't you ! let me take care of ya, sweetheart.

— BLADE

about you : they are the one clear thing i can see when the mara strikes. no matter how far gone i am, i see them - clear as the many sunsets i have seen. they are where the light meets the dark.

chat: his relationship with you : this eternal purgatory that i have been cursed with feels... less hellish when they are by my side. it is as if, for a moment, my body and my soul forget what i am. i can only believe this is their doing.

added to team with you : death comes to all, but now is not your time.

— DAN HENG

about you : they were persistent in trying to know me for who i was, not who i could've been. they are kind, more so than any other person i have come to meet. they are strong and gentle at the same time.

chat: his relationship with you : march is always telling me that i should be more forthcoming with my emotions, but they seem to understand me quite well no matter how little i speak up. i.. really appreciate and value their presence in my life.

added to team with you : i will stand by you no matter what comes our way, do not be afraid.

— GALLAGHER

about you : what a riot, they are ! their personality reminds me of the strongest and sweetest drink mixed in one delightful package. it's easy to get addicted if i'm not careful.

chat: his relationship with you : i didn't understand at first why they wanted to hang out with this old dog as long as they did, not that you'll find me complainin' or nothin'. they always seemed entertained by my stories, and i like listenin' to them yap, too.

added to team with you : have a drink, i'll take care of whatever you need me to, just say the word.

— JING YUAN

about you : fascinating, with so many stories to tell, it could keep me even busier than i typically am for hours. although i must say that i enjoy being occupied by them than by work.

chat: his relationship with you : in the middle of the mundane trivialities of life that i have grown so accustomed to with my job title, they bring an air of uniqueness and excitement into every encounter. i find myself eagerly awaiting the times we meet.

added to team with you : i trust you are able to take this on yourself ? if not, well, that's why i am here, no ?

— GEPARD LANDAU

about you : they are more carefree than i am, and while it worries me at times, i find myself drawn to their spirit nonetheless. i think i'm just drawn to those kinds of people, or they are drawn to me.

chat: his relationship with you : sometimes, i feel like i'm nagging at them, even when i don't mean to, but it's because i'm always worried about them. i know they can protect themselves but i wish they would let me do it for them more often.

added to team with you : protecting you feels just as important as protecting belobog. i will do so with my life.

— LUKA

about you : they're probably the only person in belobog who really get my passion. they give their all for everything that they do, and i'm down for it !

chat: his relationship with you : they're really good at both getting me fired up and a little more mellow, depending on what i need for the moment. they're like my personal hype man / cheer leader, and i'm theirs when they need it ! that's why we work together so well.

added to team with you : this is going to be over like that with the two of us on the same team !

— LUOCHA

about you : they are wiser than they let on, it's hard to fool them or pull the wool over their eyes. even when i think i've kept a secret close, they've long since figured me out.

chat: his relationship with you : they help me see things that i would otherwise miss on my own, broadening my horizons when i need more depth brought to me. i'm grateful for their intuition and their knowledge on the world around us.

added to team with you : combat may not be my forte, but should you need assistance, i will be at your side.

— SUNDAY

about you : they are the embodiment of the feeling of the sun on your skin for the first time, warming your soul as well. they are gentle, and pick up where i lack.

chat: his relationship with you : i do not believe i am deserving of one quite like them, but i have a hard time letting them go nonetheless. they deserve more than i can give, but that doesn't stop me from trying regardless.

added to team with you : whoever dares to lay a finger on you will be met with swift and strict punishment.

— SAMPO KOSKI

about you : a person of many talents, much like myself, although they're charging significantly less for their expertise - free. i keep saying they should, but they're adamant about being kind.

chat: his relationship with you : my partnership with them could be best described as, er, jointly profitable. i provide my excellent services, and they grace me with their presence and their wits and.. maybe i am getting the better end of this deal.

added to team with you : it's your best pal, sampo koski, at your service ! aren't you glad i'm here ?

[capriciouschocoberry]

I finally got kinda (physically) sick of listening to some songs on repeat for like a million times

So I decided to listen to TBHC again and I think I’ll never get tired of Arctic Monkeys, ever

[vivien-dot-exe]

Ask meme - every todoroki :eyes:

lmao BET

(this is super big huge I’m so sorry askdfjsh)

Shouto

NOTP

I don’t?? really think I have one. I’m pretty alright w/ all shouto ships tbh.

BROTP

todomomo. I get the ships but I kinda see em as them Good Supportive Friends that are just close enough that everyone Thinks They’re Dating n cannot believe they’re not but like. they never would. (am I projecting my best friendship onto shouto?? Maybe. fuck off.)

OTP

rn?? enjishouto lmao. I love love enjishouto man,, favorite child lovin,,,,

second choice

I ~guessss~ todobaku?? but tbh I’m not all that into most shouto ships. like we neutral most days. we just stay lovin bakugou + denying they’re friends???? so cute man,,

tied though is reishouto bc mommy kink. I won’t sit here and lie to you I just love gentle mommy kink sm

fluffy pairing

cliche fan fave - tododeku. we love a pair of supportive boyfs. I still do like seeing some tododeku art sometimes cause it makes our heart warm

angsty pairing

enjishouto again - I play things for angst so fuckin much dude,, if I can’t play my otp for angst then it probably isn’t gonna stick.

poly ship

can I say like. natsu/fuyu/enji/shouto. cause siblings that thirst over their hot dad together stay together

however hawks/enji/shouto is an incredibly tasty rarepair. there’s only one fic for it on ao3 but it’s So dang good,, 

weirdest pairing

I guess still enjishouto!! I have a very small amount of ships for the boy, man,,

Fuyumi

NOTP

n/a once again. every fuyumi ship I’ve seen to date or conjure up from crack shipping is cute bc she’s cute. I love seeing her in general.

BROTP

lowkey?? fuyuhawks. I can see them being excellent friends. I know romance takes are also good but. consider this: them chillin and acting goofy.

OTP

fuyunatsu. no question. it was my v first fuyumi ship and I will go down with it. (more explanation below)

second choice

fuyumi/miruko is really good!! maybe that’s just me being all ‘lesbians good’ @ the few fics n art pieces I’ve seen but Still.

fluffy pairing

reiyumi. we Love a girl n her mom huggin tight n kissing softly.

angsty pairing

fuyuenji. I’ve seen such good angst w/ these two man,, makes my heart heart Good ya feel?? them sad n guilty daddy’s girl feels Get Me

poly ship

sibling thorst: the ship (fuyu/natsu/enji/shouto)

weirdest pairing

if I was to make up a weird pairing,,,, bakuyumi. they interact Once but I like ships that are basically ‘we cook and it’s romantic’ (read: natsuki from ddlc anyone?). it’s a lil crack shippy and I’ve never ever seen any material for it, but wouldn’t it be cute to have bakugou cook w/ a cute older woman n have a cute romantic time while he’s all tsundere?? sighs wistfully,,

Natsuo

NOTP

hmm,, I’m honestly thinking I should take this option out. I really do think it cute to think the whole ass todofam w/ Anybody you know??

BROTP

natsushouto. like wow great job viv takin it Literally but as we don’t know much about natsu’s college life, I can’t exactly elect a best friend or nothin, and I Really love the concept of natsu and shouto acting like regular sibs. fighting n competing but hyping each other up, ya know?? sighs wistfully,, I actually really love brotherly dynamics a lot. like shipping em is usually my first thought but I also just???? like seeing em play around n be normal sometimes lmao. is that weird?? that it makes me happy?? idk.

OTP

fuyunatsu!! I love the concept of them constantly being there for each other, plus childish curiosity?? if you got sibs you know what that shit’s like. “you wanna try kissing??”

like listen not to be gross about it either but like. Puberty w/ that like entirety of the house to themselves. you can not tell me horny things never happened.

second choice

enjinatsu has Mad potential. I don’t get to see a lot of content for them but they make my heart happy. love the idea of both them being sweet to each other slowly in a path to forgiveness dotted with confessions and soft embraces,,,, or of course guilty dad thirst. both are Tasty

fluffy pairing

fuyunatsu is Cute. listen I want em to cuddle and support each other though they’re so different. like foils, ya know?? I am very weak for natsu having a weakness for fuyumi’s gentleness (though that could be said for the whole todofam. stan fuyumi)

angsty pairing

hmm,, I guess that’d be enjinatsu?? path to forgiveness enjinatsuo I can see being v feelsy and Tasty.

poly ship

sibling thorst Again.

weirdest pairing

man I don’t think any of these could be counted as Not weird. enjinatsu maybe?? as their dynamic is rather complicated n versatile + parent/child. I think the Least weird ship I’ve ever considered w/ him though would be natsuhawks, but I’ve not seen a lot of material for them nor do I have any ideas for dynamics. they just look nice together.

Touya (dabi)

NOTP

okay I’ll be real w/ you I lied I do have One notp and it’s dabihawks (hotwings). it’s. it’s okay, I’ll admit, but it kinda squicks me out in canon verses. like, reverse aus, genderswap aus, most aus really that slightly shift the dynamic, I’m good w/ dabihawks, but Not In Canon or any approximations of it.

(big rant on why, feel free to skip)

I guess antis just kinda fucked it up for me?? I was kinda neutral when it first was proposed, ya know like ‘oh that’s cute!! not for me but more power to ya!!’ but then dabihawks shippers started getting in hawksdeavor shippers’ faces n giving the usual arguments against age gap ships (as if a villain/hero ship was so uwu pure n unproblematic), and then there came the ‘hawks will betray the heroes and become a villain for dabi’ theories from them and it just. that was 2018 and it Still makes me uncomfortable to think about. 

I very much enjoyed hawks’ double agent thing!! but I knew an infiltration mission would end with betrayal from the beginning and that’s what I liked about it. him doing the absolute Most for the heroes even if it feels scummy to do so. I was Devastated for a moment when I saw hawks’ first meetup w/ dabi and it looked like he might be spying for them, but then we were quickly assured that it was a ploy and I was like Oh My God Thank God I Near Had A Heart Attack. but other people, the loudest group being dabihawks shippers, were dissatisfied with this and wanted canon to take a different direction and I Dunno Man, I just had very strong emotions about that and still do. 

I love hero hawks in all his double agent endeavor fanboy glory and people wanting to take it a different direction in canon felt like a blatant kind of???? idk defacing of character almost, even though that’s a mega mega mega dramatic way to put it loL don’t ask me why I got such strong feelins about it I couldn’t explain it if I wanted. I’d love to go back to being chill about it I really really would.

BROTP

idk, I think I might not???? have one for him. he seems kinda all or nothing to me, very intense w/ his emotions. if I was to Name one off the top of my head, maybe maybe togadabi, but even then I’m kinda hm on it.

OTP

first and favorite dabi ship is 1000% shigadabi. not even in most canon settings; I just like them chilling and being lovey (and going on large scale crime dates).

second choice

probably shoutodabi?? not Big on most dabi ships but love that older bro angst.

fluffy pairing

shigadabi bby!! if I wanna imagine dabi soft ever then shigadabi is a Lovely escape, canon absolutely notwithstanding.

natsutouya is also a good one to imagine, what w/ the image of them cuddling making my heart Warm

angsty pairing

shoutodabi. I saw this one reunion fic of them and I had So Many Emotions oh my god.

dabihaul is also a good candidate, though it’s less Angst more hurt little comfort. (not to mention I don’t ship it much myself lol a friend sold me on their interp) it’s not very emotional as I like my angst, more just got them whump aesthetics.

poly ship

good question. I’ve highkey not thought about it smH - maybe if I just,,,, *takes shoutodabi n shigadabi n smooshes them together*

idek how that’d work as a dynamic dude I Don’t KnoW LMAO

weirdest pairing

I guess enjidabi?? I think about it from time to time but I dunno how the dynamic would work but. very angsty whatever it is. lots of apology sexy times in my mind’s eye.

Rei

NOTP

n/a - rei is definitely one I will take any ship for.

BROTP

enjirei - I’m doing this out of order so I wrote the explanation on enji’s lmaO see below for details

OTP

oh man otp???? good question,, I’m a v big fan of reishouto tho. gentle mom lovin,,

second choice

rei/inko is also a good one!! something I still think is very cute from my early days in the fandom. just a couple of moms supporting each other and going on cute park dates,,

fluffy pairing

rei/inko is def the fluffiest. however, it can be argued that rei/anybody has good fluff material. rei is so,,,, ethereal lookin???? she looks like a flower or a ghost,, like breeze rustling sheer curtains in an empty sun lit room. gentle on the eyes but hella poignant. I can imagine her bein soft w/ everyone n everyone.

angsty pairing

reitouya. For Sure. rei taking care of her lost eldest who’s finally come home, ya know???? Sobs,,,,,,,, I don’t see shippy content of them ever but reunion fics/art Get Me

poly ship

this one might be a little weird, but inko/rei/mitsuki. I’ve only seen material for it Once but in my head it’s taking the cute mom ships of inko/rei and inko/mitsuki to make the Ultimate Supportive Mom Ship. and maybe masaru is there too supporting this bc I think he’s really good tbh I don’t want him sad or lonely.

weirdest pairing

uhhhhhh,,, idk man probably polyship is the only “Weird”/super rare one. mitsuki ain’t exactly gentle mom:tm: after all, but I think her spice goes well w/ it all, ya know?? inko n rei being gentle and mitsuki being the hype who arranges more fun dates n such for them to all take a cuddle pile nap afterwards,, and you know she’s the hype woman for the trio. 

Enji

NOTP

never met an enji ship I didn’t like tbh. they’re all good and I will fight on that.

BROTP

highkey?? enjirei. I ship em romantically sometimes, but I really like the idea of them divorced and getting other lovers but supporting each other fullheartedly. love that solidarity. like shit I could see them still living together n such but they just. drop the husband/wife shtick and support each other like friends.

OTP

enjishouto!! y’all been knew.

second choice

hawksdeavor is a longstanding fave. we love that fanboy/idol dynamic sm,,

fluffy pairing

oh jeez fluffy,, maybe enji/burnin?? I can see her being very energetic n supportive and being rewarded w/ soft forehead kisses. soft boss crush even if it’s one sided.

angsty pairing

both enjishouto and hawksdeavor provide Wonderful angst. the flavor is Immaculate y’all should try it.

poly ship

enji/the rest of the todofam/hawks/happiness. pls lma o

I am very much an enjibowl enthusiast, can y’all tell?? I just want him Smothered in love sometimes.

weirdest pairing

hmm,, enji/tsukauchi. I saw a doujin for it once and it was Lovely. an absolute crackship, but I love the hero/detective dynamic of toshinori/tsukauchi, but toshinori just doesn’t give it enough Spice in most interps I see. now enji being tsun n aggressive + level headed detective tsukauchi,, that was a tasty doujin for sure.

[lostinathoughtonceagain]

Im not sure where to start although i feel like i alwyas start with that.My mom says i seem to be doing  alot better and inn truth i am. I feel more myself and joyous and mre personality, and than theres still an emptiness that creeps in. The sort of weird shame feeling i used to get in mornings or without a shirt on, i got it today after grabbing clothes from my moms. maybe this is just a personal issue but im trying not to isolate myself in my emotions. TI appreicate and find it hard to understand the idea of common humanity. It is true humans all epereince these emotions and it is only to ones disadvantage when we tell ourselves were the only ones who have ever felt these emotions. In truth we are the only ones who experience things given we all have different perspectives, childhoods, personalities, and biology of our brains.. yet i think that an important to try to find the common humanity. empathy, relating to one another. we are more alike than we are different. YOu know when your on the freeway and you wonder where are all these people going. Myabe some are picking up there kids, going to a booty call, stopping to grab bananas at the store, and we wont ever know, everyone is all doing there own thing, eveyone is jsut driving just going to work doing things and im wo dering if anyone else is freaked out about what is happening. Why the hell are we here?n why iseveryone not freaking out with the little time we have, i want to make the most out of what is happeing i dont want to waste any more time not being  where i want to be, i wanted to be skinny so i can go on with my life. But i geuess thats alos the point of life. ive been so worried about living that i havnt actually been living. Im failing at an attempt to handle my shit. I look back on the past and how come i can only think, mostly think of the bad things. The relationships that i shouldve ended sooner cuz i didnt really lvoe them as i thought love would be. THey were all merely a disspointment. That sounds rude but to put it this way i alwyas thought there was something better for me. MY parents used to say at times “its never enough for you katie” maybe that is true. maybe im never satisidef. Maybe it was because they were tired and had tried there best and i failed because my needs wernt meant. not that they were needs. I think back to guys ive hooked up with and wish i had higher standards. why did i find satisfaction in attention from people that didnt even care about me. WHen guys used me and i was glad to let them. Especailly when i had previous ly had crsushes on them. FUCK BOYS WITH J names. i dont know why im writing as if im writing a story. maybe it makes it easier maybeim trying to articulate my thoughts into something there not. I think about things that have happened and hope i can maybe use them as a testimony maybe ill meet the love of my life adn get to share all these stories... but i dont things play out like that and thats a weird perspective to have on things thsat occur. Like as if im a narrator. I would get so ecited to send cute pictures of myself when i was  baby and show my boyfriends, or share things with them but then i realized something. they dont care, well definlty not like me. That ecitement about it is not the same as the one im epereiecning and when i was sent baby pictures of them, i didnt feel that warmth in my heart. maybe that makes me a bitch or emotionally disconnected. but how do i know if im feelin. what connections have i made. I used to want to be under the influence and gina my therapist said that people go to substances to feel connection. When i was on coke, life was beautiful i could talk to anyoe and everyone adn words flowed so well. In my head, looking back i probably looked like a crack head and thats the reality of it. I can manipulate my reality but to what is its value if its a lie. if no one else feels or sees what im seeing. ona  nother thought  i think we can make up these sotries in our heads that arnt even true. like somone tells us something or we feel a certain way about ourself so and it ends upso our whole olives our affected by this painting in our head only to find out no one sees what were seeing. my dad said that we can change the past, welll we can change our past by changing how we look at it. and i think if we could grasp it it would change our lives. I think that i could look back and not feel that shame, or not feel that embarressment. But am i not a sum of all the words thoughts and actions ive done or had uot o this point? thats depressing, but if it were something i was proud of then yes i would like to be. but the truth is all wehave is the now and you can start now being a totally different person, but you cant run away from all the consequences of the past i guess they jsut dont matter if you decide to change. but then what about bridges burned. i guess my plan b ina  sense is to run away to another country. but then theres legal issues and this whole system and ates and bad guys and tso m8uch to worry about that i dont feela  sense of freedom. my information is online and under a sytem and i undertsadn why i just wish everything could be quiet for sa sec. mayeb i dont want to be aktie stowers anymore. I get jealos of girls born and raised pretyy. all ive done is starved myself in the process of becoming what i want to be but thats not even me. if i have to starve to et there then i feel as though i dont actuallyl deserve to be skinny. and i fee l so vain for obsessing over this fucking thought. iw anted to be skinny this is what ive said from the beginging can someoine please help me do it. the probelm is that im in treatment for anoreica sub purge type and the reality is that i cant lose weight withought going to etreme measures. it became the most important thing in my life and ive been strung up on the same thought since fucking march of 2018. talk about time wasted. although i know thats no way of looking at it. ive learned lessons and have ad so many beautiufl things happpen. I get told very kind things about myself. i wonder if im actually a kind person or i only do things simply to be a kind person. if eel kinda selfish but i guess we all are. i mean think about how amny bad things are happening in this world and children starving and here i am buying things i dont need anf focuing on myself. but im not doing anything about it. i mean i try to tip etra give to homless ifi can i just feel guilt because i could be doing more but ijalso know that im not responsibly to save the world. jsut seems wrong the way things are. thats why i believe everyone goes to heaven. maybe because i cant wrap my head around the possily fact that barrett wouldnt and also becasue the idea of eternal damnation dosnt seem like the character of a god i want to serve. i see so much bullshit in the church and i just dont know . am i jsut angry. I became so jdugemntal of those judging me and thats just as worse but when theres almost a cluba nd you dont fit into there critera it fucking hutts. and that dosnt feel liek jesus i think jesus wouldnt let us be seperated by rleigion or if you drank last weekend. I think we should all unite and love each other and thats what reallly matters. yet here i am obsessed over being skinny. im down to 4 hour as of yesterday and i feel so much better i do. i just wish i could have one long 2 day therapy session whre i fucking figure out all my shit. ive gone to so much therapy and its been etremly helpful i jsut dont wanna waste anymore time with this baggage. I dont wanna go a minute longer when i could giure all this out. i guess what im saying is i want my life tp be an open canvas and not be unravveling and my childhood issues poopping up.. i want to go into the fututre knowing what i know adn epeireicning my life as it plays out. but i am 18 ishouldnt be thinking this much into things huh i should just let it be and lvie my life. i should be doung homework an teting my frienfds or going on a date. but thats not ther eality of things and alos i think ill look abck and things will be different. IOm also int reatment rn so oviously my situation is not exactly normal. i really do love to write i used to always want to be an author. but i dont kno0w anymore. i jsut dont really like how the sytem works i hate how we all have to go to college amd study things i dont give a fuck about and then some struggle at there 9-5 to merely surve eand ig uess i dont like the thoughr of that. and i know were suppsoed to find joys in the little things i think things are jsut freaking me out. iw ant to quit smoking nicatine but everyday i go out and do it. ig uess that meanns i dont really want to stop because if i did i would. i  and then i feel slightly guilty and opackiy because his is the only boduy im given. like does that not freak everyone out. this is the only way we are able to eperience life. think about how quickly it can be ended. i think that is too much pwier overmyself. nmot that im suicidal but i do think i hgave the power to find out super son what is after this life. judgment day, pure nothingness, maybe ill become a=one of the many ants i ahev enjoyed killed as a punsihemtn for msyelf. or hoe[fully and maybe ill entire a heaven with a lovuing god. a state of being with loved ones. I think thats why people like the idea of heavn the idea that you will see people later. but that discount the factof pain. when someones child dies they dont feel any less pain because a verse about being reunited with the,. because the truht im scared to tyee is that theres a possibility heaven isnt rela. and the loved one that is lost will never be in your reaach again.i feel sad for how ome peoples lifeves go. i hope they get a chance in the after life to have what they wanted. but then i think abotu abd guys. i wouldnt want them in my heaven. i guess maybe who we all our at our core is who would be in heaven beyond all the nasty. yet i dont believ flesh is nasty and i dont believ trying my whole life to not be something i was made to be. if my flesh is evil adn mankind is doomed what the fuck is that. i dont think god would set us upnto fail and i believ ehe understands we are human. and gpd is god and god knew everything that was going to happen up to npw. u know whats crazy is that on the time line we are on the edge of what is to come. being aluive rn. and its crazy that i wont be here in 100 years. ill be merely history. but rn we are whats happneing 7:12 november 11th. we are up to datebecause we are merely aliver. unless there is different universes and this is m,erely a simulation. but besides the point. barrett was talking about just how many books songs and information there is. that makes me pancik there is so many people so many things i could learn and musici could listen to that no one can listen to it all. maybe theresa song out there that is my favorite son that ill never get to lsiten to but i gues si jsut have to trust that the universe ligns up as it should and my life will happen as it should. and alll these things are happneing and were floating in the middle of space and yet i feel like people arnt freaking out. like what hthe actual fuck is happneing. and why do iu want to soedn my one life doing shit that dosn matter or something i dont even love. but thats how life works because you have to have moneya nd i do love bying things. and i jsut need to relax. because when people look back on there past they think if i could only tell msyelf its going to be okaya nd to have fun. why cant i do taht i mean i can but tehn these thughts come in. iwant to be skinny i also love food. starving was easy and i like d seeing my bones show,. i wanted people to see me and know i was hurting but people dont wanna be sround sa dpeople i guess i just wanted o be rescued. and at the same time it was nice to focus on the thingsd because even if all went ot hell if i restricted enought hat was okay my eating idsorder would tell me that  everything was going to be okay because i was taking care of the one thing i actaully wanted. writing this makes me sound crazy to msyelf. i have so many things i want to larn and do and so having an eating disorder makes me feel limated. amd truly it does limit me. it dosnt allow me to worry and think about these tihngs. i just really want to be skinnya dn i dont know where this started or why its so impiortant but i just am not a fann of my boyd. and i know tis terirble because im more than m y body and i know i cant stave mtyself and i know that this makes me self cenetred i know that it didnt pkay out as the damsel in distress that i wanted i know wthat i pushed loved ones away and made desisions taht really arnt alligned with my values because truly i didnt care i just wanted to get skinny i know i didnt look healthy bu in my mind that s the best ive eever looked. i know that the husband i meet is going to lvoe me for whats beond my appreance so it dosnt matter and getting atention from others isnt satisying and only leaves me feeling empty i knwo lifes to short to count your calories, to walk around feeling fraila nd loung every seconds. to reach 109 and not see a body close to what was at 116. to talk about numbers because they w]makr improtant parts of my life adn to allso swear that i dont care that much about the numbers. i care about the look. but if what they say is true and i ahve body dismprhia thats impossible. they say the eating idpsrder says itll never be enough. it will nevr be satisiuded. “ its never enough katie” never enough

and so maybe its me maybe im just this warped person. why do memories come back so weird and hwy did i have su h weird thoughts a s f\child. why do i get filled with so much rage. somtiems i think im the most grogeous girl and others i want to killmsyelf because i fel worthless. imm not suicdial but i can remeberthe first time i thought about killing kmyself i was in the abck seat of the car my brothers wre all teasing me about soething but for whatecer reason i was upset by it. i remebr crying and thinking how bad thye would feel if i killed myself. i carried this idealation iwht me later on. gina says i used this as a coping skill.w whenevr someone was mean, didnt say the right thing, didnt invite me, or a aprent said something hurtful. o thouhgt about it as if i were a ghost. watching how sad they were that they had not done better with me. that they said those angry words last to me instead of teeling me uhow much they lvoed me. that when they gossiped ghey felt so bad after because i was dead. i sometimes wish i could watch this unfold. but thats demented and evil. my ghost smiling with satifdaction as she watches loved one who id love and people who were simply lvingnthere life be affected by this. what good would it do to me or them. it would ruin them, does thaa amke mf evil. and then i realzie thats not how death wokrs. ill go to  wahtevr is after this.a dm why would i waste my eistence on a disguestingnromantizsm of revenge.  shpuld move on better msyelf and make connections and share with my lovedones hwen theyve hurt me or that i need more love.  i love treamnt. i love the lif3 im having. besids hating my body i love doing art and larning life skills and if eel like pooeple love me for me there and i can really be myself and support others. but i cant live my life in treatment. i want to relapse theres a few pros to this. one i get skinny againa dn can take pcitures while im skinnya dn try to do it a healthier way. 2 i can jsut go back to treatment and 3 thats a big fuck you to insuracne and theyll realize i coudlve used more help. my ancupucture lady said i need to let people help me adn its tru. i can read boooks hae copnversations go toa therapist but what goofd does it do if its not evn sticking with me. if i dont allow it to change me. im so stuck in that i want to be skinny. but im also tired of haojng my body, the thought about being okay iwht my body is sad to. ill jsut be ugly and not care? amd i wont be ablr to beas beautiful as i want to be. the law of attraction streases me out to because what if everytihng im writing is manif3sting as we speak. hut io cant just iugnore all thse thoughts. its good to journl ane write. i smoked the other night and told susan and brooke but lied to my treatment team. but honestly i was anxious the whole time and outside of playing with myself and dougna  trippy spiritaul mediaiton itwasnt the best time. it ,made me realize i enjoy beig sober bcecause i can do lall the things i want to do and not be stupid and i can be mindful. but then i feel a little desperate at the idea of not having anys ubstances. i sjsut need to create a good ralit y formyself. also i just don tfeel like im the little blon girl in my baby photos like me and her arnt \even the same person but i am i am her in 18 year old form. i jsut dont even know who i am or whats happening. iw ant to chilla dn i need to find balance. maybe this is because my brain has more room oto think about thoings. it kinda hurts me that my mom dsont know that much about eating disorders but yet she says she knows how bad these thionhd can get. likes he can talk so much about me needing help and this and that and yet she hasnt veen taken the tiem to udnerstand what it is im goi g throug. but i shoudlnt epect her to i dont evn knkw what is happneing. cons of relasping is more time wwasting life farther form my hoal. what is my goal all i can think abou t is working on my body bye cercising and eating healthy after treatment. iu dont underdstand why people dopnt think this is a huge thing for me. it makes it so i cant wear what. im so tired of caring. i want to get out of my head. but reality is i am katie and i have to deal wiht whats going on it dosnt do any good whining about it. another con is that my family would be disapinted. im kinda scared i ahev cancer ir im going ot die and jus stop breatinh. its probaly jsut anxiety . nbut i think about the drugs ive done and all that ive smoked and when ive starved and i wonder if im jsut shutting gdown. but i guess were all shutting down. but you cant tell kids these tihngs they dont care and they wouldnt undertsnad. i guess im jsut freaking out at my very eistence. im also very thankful to ebe alive. the fact were all ehsiting rn is crazy i think everything happens for a reason and theres a beautiful lessona nd “work of art called love” desinged by the creator. i ksut dpnt think itds what people think its actaully is. julian is just dsigusing why was i ever ino him. but i cant stop 16 year old me by being into him. but he really wasa dick adn oi dont think hes aw the value in me. my idea of him thinking that was because hesa  lot uglier than me or the line in fredys song where he says “ why would a girl like you fall for a guy like me” and he saud thatr eminded him of us i thought that was so sweet. MO that dosnt mean he values me. why was i so okay with accepting bullshit.a nd nathan. i really liked nathan we were bestfriends. but i got really cazy jealous. i was supposed to eat2 and ahalf hours ago and im not rally hungry. hence my hunger ques are off. i lost 4 lbs over the weekedn and im on weight restoration i was given till friday before i have tonadd even more additions because im not supposed to be lsoing weight. but i dint feel sad baout it. i felt eciteed i guess my bodys ina  place where it can lsoe weight easily. i feel like i should take advantage of it. is this litterally the eating disorder tuyping as we speak am i poseed. it is katie stowers. i guess thats what an eating idorder does. i think i ought to steer clear of caffense and weed. make things a little less harde.r and truly i shuld try to quit nicatine. ots just so nice to do but i think i ought to just not do it. i think idts a porblem because i can already mpciture me going outside after break and smoking. “evntually ill quit shes aid” when i quoted julien baker in her song ahppy to be hee to esther it says “ i miss you the way that i miss nicatine” she waled away after. felt a little judged honeslt and i dont think it was cuz of me but i am better than to smoke nicatine. i think im gonna not do it tomorow. adn if i succeed well see about friday. but it is a hbit i shoudl break. but anyways theres a lot to worry about and be ecited about to and im having a hard time manging it all. and i opuld go on times ten of whats been happneing in my brain ina  therap y session but it dosnt happne.

[possibilistfanfiction]

hiya! i notice you tag a lot of your posts with 'nora, sloane, etc.' i understand these are characters for a story you're doing. i'm curious: what's the story about?

ok ! well @turnandchasethewind (olivia) & i have been working on the sketches for this show for like. a Long time lmao it has as most projects do grown & changed & become something entirely its own & i think it’s really awesome & lovely & am rly rly jazzed for it to move forward one day

anyway the working title for it is called views, & it basically follows sloane & nora, best friends who live & work in toronto. they met when they were 18/19 at a catering gig (terrible) & theyre the kind of love that is this epic soft quiet fun powerful love between female friends. they’re young & they’re a little lost always, & the world hurts, but like. they’re Good. the current storyline begins when they’re in their early/mid-twenties & nora meets ridley, who becomes her girlfriend. ridley is rly rly lovely & beautiful & whip smart & v kind & sloane hates her which is altogether mostly funny but a little sad

sloane ideally would be played by maia mitchell just for a visual but like. a grungier cooler hot mess version of maia bc like. sloane is a trash kid she’s our absolute fav she has tons of stick n pokes & her hair is a mess or buzzed (or both) & she will wear vans until they r literally falling off. she shops mostly at black market & she got this bike off kijiji that’s like 800% terrifying. she was diagnosed with bipolar I when she was 18 & shes on meds but its obviously still smth she deals with every day. shes from vancouver & she dropped out of mcgill after An Episode but mostly bc she hated it & she moved to toronto a few months after that (which is p much immediately when she met nora). shes like our token white character shes funny everyone drags her constantly abt so many things but they Love sloane. she eats Shit food unless nora’s parents buy her groceries & she drinks a lot & sometimes she has lil spirals but she has a dog named carly rae who helps a lot. she also has a big brother named whit he’s trans & he lives in brooklyn & she Adores him. shes a tremendously talented musician but ofc being a musician is v difficult so she also works a bunch of weird jobs between music gigs. she lives in a funky apartment in kensington w like six rotating roommates. she plays sets at the beaver all the time. if sloane was gonna write a song it would be ‘young’ by vallis alps but if sloane had a themesong its a tie between i wanna get better by bleachers & control by halsey & buzzcut season by lorde & then a rly rly sad cover of i rly like you by carly rae

nora is laura harrier bc like Hot & also biracial so thats dope. shes a baker & she works at a rly cute lil bakery on queen west & she always looks so pretty & put together & she rides this beautiful linus bike everywhere w a fucking basket & everything she wears so much birds of north america & oak + fort & rly just anything from victoire & she has like 12 pairs of blundstones. shes from etobicoke & her parents are both immigrants so nora is first generation canadian shes v v invested in how that all interacts shes a smart cool kid. she’s bisexual she came out when she was 16 bc she Literally got drunk in a closet & she has a history of dating Truly shitty ppl so sloane is like v v Hesitant when she falls for ridley. she has some beautiful tattoos & some silly stick n pokes, mostly w sloane. she has a rly cool little sister named kennedy who goes to ryerson & nora went to george brown. shes rly passionate abt intersectional feminism & she volunteers w a few different organizations around the city that help lgbtq+ youth shes like. a Good person & also sloane ADORES her & nora is in a v real kinda love w sloane theyre the v best pals. also girl can Drink. once a month regardless of how cold it is she & sloane make rly good pot brownies & go to trinity bellwoods & eat them & they end up Laughing a lot. nora also fosters w save our scruff bc she & sloane adopted carly rae together but carly rae is like an emotional support animal for sloane so she spends most of her time at sloane’s apartment so bc of that nora likes to foster dogs its rly cute. she has a beautiful lil tiny studio off euclid & queen. if nora had a themesong its like some dope gay (bi) ass mix of company by tinashe & feelin myself by nicki but then she meets ridley so shes like all night by bey

pls know that nora & sloane sometimes get Rly drunk at the greenroom in the annex mostly bc they love smoking in the lil alleyway its like. their trash special place. & their songs r like. california by grimes & love gang by whethan ft charli xcx & ribs by lorde 

ok in our heads ridley is played by aj but mostly bc its hot & we love her lol, ideally ridley is quebecois metis. she has a degree in physics but her parents just both died so shes kinda taking a break from everything & rn shes a florist in the shop next to noras bakery on queen west. shes from montreal but she went to school in the states & she has a longtime ex named ash. theyre non binary & ridley & ash are still rly good friends which sloane is like Suspicious abt but nora is like sloane jfc. ridley is rly smart she wears a Lot of stay home club & j brands & she & nora have a lot of shoes n boots that look almost identical. shes queer & shes kinda just been queer forever? her parents were scientists so it was always a v inclusive educated lil home she grew up in. she was named after ridley scott & everyone always jokes that she was conceived during alien lol & honestly she probably was. shes rly funny & she has beautiful tattoos & pretty pretty eyes & nora falls for her rly fast. she has a lil quebecois accent & sometimes she forgets words in english when shes drunk or tired. she & nora first kiss outside of the beaver in the snow theyre in the alley behind the gladstone w rly beautiful street art they were smoking cigarettes & its just. soft. so queer. ridleys lil songs r hold by vera blue & 21 moon water by bon iver & Mostly corbeau by coeur de pirate

sloane has a plot twist & falls in love w jack who is half-japanese & hes rly good friends w ridley which is the plot twist part a little but the BIG plot twist part is that she falls in love at all bc she is Convinced no one can handle her & she isnt stable enough for romantic love etc etc. but jack is so good hes so smart & hes a music therapist for kids on the spectrum its like Absurd how good a person he is. hes trans & hes abt to have top surgery like a few months after he meets sloane & she goes for a while & is like blah blah im not in love w him whatever its just sex but then shes So worried abt him being ok during & after surgery & she cares abt him so much & she gets Rly drunk & cries abt it to nora its funny. one day sloane is having a rly rly bad lil depressive episode & nora has been outta town all weekend w her parents & kennedy at their cottage in muskoka & so nora texts jack like. yo sloane has bipolar i she shouldve told u this but like i gotta tell u now bc shes havin a meltdown so pls go over & bring her food from fresh get the falafel tacos & like all the pressed juice ill venmo you & Pls make her shower if she buzzed her hair try to find the scalp treatment i got her from lush its in her dresser top drawer. also shes gonna wanna drink just let her do that & make sure she takes her meds she’ll be ok itll take a day or two & hes like ok. a lot but ok. & he goes & he brings sloane food & a tshirt of his & he gets her into the shower & out to the couch & puts on superstore & she curls up into him on one side & carly rae on the other & she cries a little but honestly its not so bad & like. hes so in love w her its wild she never thought that would happen its a fun plot twist even olivia & i didnt plan on

so anyway the whole show is kinda an ode to toronto & an ode to being young & in love w your friends in a rly profound way & also what its like to fall in love w ppl u might wanna spend ur life with, a kinda love thats v new. its abt queerness & gender & race in a way thats v much present but all of the main characters r rly informed & rly like passionate abt intersectional feminism & thats a cool aspect we r both v excited abt. also sloane deals v realistically w a balance between being stable w bipolar I & also being v creative & v connected to making music which is smth thats v important to me esp. nora was sexually assaulted before she met ridley (HATE!) but we delve into that as well. 

mostly like. its just ‘we’re never done w killing time/ can i kill it w you/ i’d like it if you stayed’ 

[ohliveeyuh]

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a thing, so here’s a fun selfie! I’m feelin’ good because I’ve got a hell of a lot reasons to celebrate rn. I have a great job that I love (yet is still frustrating bc of lazy coworkers), I just moved into a beautiful apartment with my fiance, and I got engaged recently-ish to a super neat man that I wholeheartedly believe is my soulmate. 

Also important: I’ve got all of this great stuff going on right now, but that doesn’t mean that my depression/anxiety just goes away. I am still having days that it feels like I can’t get out of bed or show any emotion. I still get overwhelmed at the idea of too many people (too many for me is the average person’s not enough), and I still have an overwhelming sense of dread just looming over me the majority of the time.

My point is that there’s nothing wrong with you if you are experiencing a mental illness even though there’s good stuff going on around you, and that you’re not alone. Every day is a battle.

[acejughead]

wait yo you said in the infographic post that you thought platonic love was attraction because you didnt have a baseline, thats how i'm feelin rn, howd you establish a baseline or like what did you do?

Initially I figured it out more because I went on a date and snap realized I did Not like hand holding if there was romantic intent behind it but that holding hands w my friends is still nice, so that helped me realize what I was feeling wasn’t romantic BUT that is probably not helpful for you sO let’s go more in-depth on different types of attractions!!

Note: a lot of these attractions combine, which is why it is so hard to differentiate. Ex: being romantically AND aesthetically attracted to someone.

I often sort of go though these if I’m not sure, and figure out which ones actually apply, separate it all out.

Aesthetic Attraction

This one is the easiest to describe: Do you think they look nice? Would you like to look at them some more? You are experiencing aesthetic attraction! This does not have to be people! Aesthetic attraction also applies to pretty things like sunsets and hamburgers!

A good example for experiencing JUST aesthetic attraction would be a really good looking but morally questionable actor. You don’t want to date them, and you definitely don’t want to be friends, but their face is nice to look at.

Sensual Attraction

Humans are social creatures! Humans require contact with other humans! For many people, physical contact is treated like a strictly romantic thing! There are some people who, when you hug them or are just around them, you feel safe! This is sensual attraction!

This not-romantic-unless-done-with-romantic-intent physical contact I am speaking of may include: hand-holding (gasp how scandalous), hugs, that arm-over-the-shoulder thing, cuddling (that word looks horrible I hate including it but it’s so important), just like, general touching idk it’s when you’re both comfortable being in each others personal space and it’s friendly.

oh also sensual doesn’t have to be tactile it’s just,,, your senses it can also be a person’s voice or something (looks at Morgan Freeman) but tactile is the one that usually needs the most discussion bc it’s so easy to think of as romantic.

Emotional Attraction

ALRIGHT HERE’S THE DOOZY. It is SO HARD to figure out if your attraction is emotional vs romantic. The reason is this:

If you are romantically attracted to someone, you will likely also be emotionally attracted to them. If you aren’t I’m? not sure where that relationship is going tbh like… if you don’t like their personality why would you want to date them? (the answer is REVENGE)

Emotional attraction is, in the most basic sense, the desire to get to know someone. I don’t mean like “oh I need to know everything about them so I can dESTROY THEM”. no. I mean it like “WOW that person is really interesting/nice/funny I would like to talk to them more or something”

When you experience emotional attraction without romantic attraction, this is what I tend to call a “friend crush” some people in the aroace community call that a squish, but friend crush is the most self-explanatory. It’s like you meet someone and you don’t know them very well yet, and you’d like to become friends but you’re not sure how to? They say interesting stuff in class, and always make the best jokes, and you know you’d probably get along, you just haven’t gotten the chance to really talk to them yet?

BUT HERE’S THE KICKER: emotional attraction is ALWAYS present. It doesn’t go away after you get to know the person and become friends. It stays and says “hey this person is really great and important to you” it tells you that you want to know even MORE about this person because theyu are a good egg! If you’re really good friends it’ll be like “you would do Anything for this person!!!” and you go “oh shoot am I in love with them then?” and the answer to that is yeah bc you love your friends BUT if you’re not sure it is probably not romantically, you’re just a good friend who cares about your friends.

Romantic Attraction

Romantic attraction is deceptively simple. It basically consists of one question: Do you want to date this person? Variations include: Would you be interested in dating this person? Is a romantic candlelit dinner for two (or three or four or..) something you would want to be be having with this person?

It’s hard because dating someone is often just? Hanging out with them like friends do bc you’re still fRIENDS but there’s romantic intent behind it. (and kissing too I guess)

This is also difficult because different cultures draw the line of “this is what dating is” in different places. Kiss your friend on the cheek to say hello in one country and that’s just how it is, kiss your friend on the cheek to say hello in another and suddenly everyone’s like “omg when did you start dating!!!??? I want deets!” Plus, plenty of people are in queerplatonic relationships where they aren’t experiencing romantic attraction, but they may still be kissing their partner or dating them.

Sexual Attraction

When you see someone and you want to. Do the sex with them. You may not like them emotionally or romantically or even aesthetically (sensual is usually inherently part of this bc human contact), but you want to do. sexual things with them anyway MOVING ON

Ugh I thought I was better at explaining this but really the way to figure it out is the? Romantic intent behind whatever is being done.

If I’m not sure, I usually imagine the person asking me out, and consider if this is something I would want, or if it stresses me out because I don’t want to date them and I hate rejecting people.

If you’re STILL not sure after that, may I recommend googling “how to tell if you like-like someone” statistically, that has to be helpful EVENTUALLY.

[marlaluster]

emptying clipboard w items numbered

1. 35 views blawkoI want to disappear for a loooong time JULY 23 Instagram Log in|Sign up ABOUT USSUP 2. https://www.instagram.com/blawko/ 3. blawko i shot you. but he did it - blawko™️ 135posts16followers13following 4. https://www.instagram.com/p/BjONxTtA2SM/ 5. 17,217 likes blawko22Leave her the fuck alone. Yall still coming on my girls page asking “oh if I throw water on u will u break.” smh broh. Quit it w that shit. Why the Internet always just gotta be a place to kick people when they truly own? I talk mad shit online yall know that. But this girl right here is going through the hardest time i could ever imagine. She is real trauma mode and u all still treating her like shit. Being one of threee robots out aint always cool and the questions can drain ya energy (not literally breh shut ya fuckin 8th grade ass up w that). She dont want nothing to do w me or my peoples at @brud.fyi rn but she still a person and she still the most sensitive person I know. She been going out late, partying, all that. I never known her to do anything like that an yall comments aint helping. She tryna get out of a bad place and yall keeping here there. Chill w that. I fuckin hate being serious online this shit corny but YEAH Load more comments vibewith_lee@bbyjayda i don’t get it 😭 bbyjayda@vibewith_lee they’re computer animations 💀 if you throw water on them they’ll malfunction vibewith_lee@bbyjayda LMFAOO OHHH bbyjayda@vibewith_lee LMFAOOOOOO surliar@mxoxxii Righttt smh, what is this? chrisssarah@___malcriado___ for the clout emmalucia.hhaha i love how the both of u aren’t real philsoceaneyes_“Oops that was for someone else!!” LMFAOAJSOQMAOEJ lil_bxdieSo fakeeee kenya_handyI can’t believe I sat here and read all that it’s not like y’all humans how does she have feelings my nigga 😂 eli.x.scherer@calidreaminsab like whaaaat lol morgan_dorsey3Niggaaa u a flippin machine how u suppose to have feelins like explain pls calidreaminsab@elixscherer dude lol _rubylocker_@knvgmira they not even real 💀 knvgmira@_rubylocker_ still rude _rubylocker_@knvgmira poor robots 😪 heroinfa.therNigga pull up, Water guns loaded pussy yungchesthurts47Lmaooooooooo I’m crying what feelings y’all have? amvdosikyu@emmalucia.h woow amvdosikyu@kenya_handy so what? It doesn’t mean you gotta treat them like there life ain’t got no value-.- raneen_shelbayehShe's a robot how the fuck is she supposed to have feelings like what ? haras_treblig_Feelings or not? Stfu why do you feel the need to be rude cortes830Maybe you need an oil change appleee_juice@asshole.c_ Well, what's going on here is like a story. It isn't real, obviously, but I suppose it's sort of story playing itself out over social media instead of on TV? I hope I answered your question well, I'm not very good at explaining things xD mack_sully29Robot or not everyone / thing has feelings keep that in the back of your mind nickolas3.14Whay is she going through shes not even real 😭😂😂😂 skimaskjoshh@heroinfa.ther😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 skimaskjoshh@heroinfa.ther when I saw this I died 😂😂😂😂💀💀💀 autumn_rose3219@kenya_handy ikr😂ahhhh this got me deaddddd 💀 this dude owes me back the time I waisted reading this🤦🏼‍♀️😂 autumn_rose3219Yoooo y’all better be nice or they gone take us over. Dead a💀 6mnc9‘But this girl right here is going through the hardest time’. How tf do robots have a hard time. It’s bs. They aren’t like us, they don’t have any problems twilight_zoneeee"She's going through a lot"...just say she malfunctioned and go andreadankerrcome get whoever is running this account lmfao kweenofnoize214@igotspunk94 Agreed...and that is why I cannot stop looking at their pages, and even though I have my ideas, or beliefs, whatever anyone wants to call it, I am extremely fascinated by how it is actually working on people...so many people commenting are truly feeling empathy and sympathy for them....it's just insane, but I get it, not in the same emotional way, but in a knowledgeable way, I get what is going on here, and the fact that it is working....does that make sense? tiller.jr_19Y’all must of not played Detroit: becomes human, y’all better quit it before they revolting on god 😂😂 blawkoShe wants my name dezzzyxo@alonnanicole12 dezzzyxoARE YOU GUYS ROBOTS OR IS THIS A LIE IM FUCKING CONFUSED BRUHHHHH dezzzyxoBRUHHH. Im over here struggling to just go week by week and make rent. Tf.@alonnanicole12. qutestxoAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAGAH SHES A FUCKING ROBOT CGIBITCH linn_sommerShe is a computer drawing...feelings...smh x.erinnnxOh my god 😂 that caption... acfutU actin like u don't have an off switch makennapowersss@acfut IM PISSING messiahlisa"She's still a person" hol up sabrina__hsieh@acfut SHSHDJFFNFGJASHSHD playstationgalWhoever is behind this account programming this shit it's retarded you_vishhShe's still a robot will water shot her😂 shut up ttaylor.johnsonif I throw water on you will you break rakuten.collin4kOkay I'll just use the off switch charlottedicksunDamn she be dressing in Gucci tho.. lizzz.kiddShe needed reboot give her a sec 502.black.princess@6mnc9 lies, robots can be programmed to have feelings like stress, therefore they may been programmed to have feelings but their feelings are real . itsjojo_23@_izzyreyes_ elsaabarakat@kevinsemaan maba3rif shu hess l comments ktir bi dahko official.ririnxtdoorThe caption took me out💀 jesibill"She's a person" he said 🤣 m.dogg04you’re not real and neither is she adelinaxbogdanBUT IS SHE REAL ARE YOU REAL acfut@makennapowersss pics or didn't happen👁 makennapowersss@acfut lol terikelly56"""""""People""""""""" more like sum synthetic shits nouurthwest@skander.khiari read it 😂 jazzy3939@amy_ftp freehugga_Bro your not even real that’s why your sticking up for her cjohnelWtf are y’all robots or not https.leone@cjohnel they are robots https.leone@official.ririnxtdoor sammeeee 😂 💀 https.leone@rakuten.collin1k I'm dead 😂 😂 😂 💀 💀 https.leone@playstationgal for real 😂 💀 playstationgal@https.leone like tf they acting like these robots have feelings and that actual drama is going on between them 😂 cheyenne2wavy_SHES JUST A FUCKING DEVIANT MAY 25 Instagram Log in|Sign up ABOUT USSUPPORTPRESSAPIJOBSPRIVACYTERMS 6. https://www.instagram.com/p/BjavS6IgyAx/ 7. 7,782 likes blawko22PART 4/6 So heres where shit got kinda not lit and also not cool. Woke up here w no phone an no wallet. Also yerrr i can get wet suck my tiny robot DICK. the moral of the story is i guess never smoke weed ever? Idk. lemme know. Is weed bad? Load more comments thickems_39Weed ain’t bad juliabroggio@canabriza olha outroooo canabriza@juliabroggio MEDO REAL drunkofflustWeed isnt bad, you trippin, also how u take a pic w no phone, lmk vasili.boraninaWhat the hell is going on on this account? I'm so confused. I didn't understand anything. Can someone please explain? vasili.boranina😂 triggerwarninganimal@charlie_crosby12 young_queen866Can you please do a face reveal trentonlancashireI smoke every damn day on some easy shit ruby.eliz22Looking like a whole gta character xo.karTiny robot dick @maggieszi 😂 conleygriffin27Bruh how a robot got a tan line tho? benjijackson_@connnor_____ this dude looks like a bug connnor_____@benjijackson_ digging the boat shoes sweetxpapiOk hold, i think im falling for a fucking robot sweetxpapiWho the hell designed him to be so fine?? kuperduperWhy wouldn’t you have a big robot dick tho hazimahfebriani@sucioph3li4 ini juga suciophelia@hazimahfebriani kyk manusia asli babiiley_U A ROBOT MY DOOD?? t4ylorfox@chlxe1985xo lilseverusnapeNo it’s not it’s a natural plant keep smoking my dude zoe101.nawweed is bad for you , promise me ... it gave me a seizure and someone else i know had a really bad issue with it.. marissanextdoorClearly you’re a real person murphmanmatt11weed 👏🏼 can’t 👏🏼effect👏🏼you👏🏼you’re👏🏼silicon 👏🏼 lrosettal13sockkkkk i_crave_sleep@zoe101.naw then you had something that's laced with something else cause weed can't really do that to a person zoe101.naw@i_crave_sleep lmao no i’ve never smoked laced weed.. it can cause seizures, i listen to the doctors.. uhm not stoned people. i_crave_sleep@zoe101.naw I've listened to doctors too and unless your allergic to it or it's laced it can't cause seizures zoe101.naw@i_crave_sleep fuck off my neurologist says it can. a brain doctor . uneducated shit. zoe101.naw@i_crave_sleep you can’t be allergic to it. your dr is a shit. xeloputxxLo bukan manusia. Fix dunia makin dipengaruhi ole robot, edyaaaannn chi.dipIdk it would probably affect you differently since you don’t have 100% the same chemicals n shit as a human lashesby.shelby@soulkalon but how do robots get tans..... billnyesthirdeyeHow...do...you..have..a..tan...line...?.? aa.visualdiaryUr tanlines sock bteitell@zoe101.naw bruh yo doctor a bitch that fool should be tellin yo dumbass to smoke more you heard? __camille___gLookin like a GTA 5 character thisrulesYou know I had to do it to em fall4.miraI hope you fall in that river _r3dddd_Weed is love cahjalayDo robots tan? meh.tanii@fall4.mira your an ass hole for saying that🤦🏾‍♀️ lexi_achuffWill we ever see your whole face? fall4.mira@meh.tanii bitch you a pussy eater hoe🤚🏽😭 meh.tanii@fall4.mira lmao ain't a hoe and I'm strictly dickley bitch get it right😂👏🏾 fall4.miraDirty ass bitch go lose sum fucking wait wit yo fat ass whore🤦🏽‍♀️ blawkoMe name MAY 30 Instagram Log in|Sign up ABOUT USSUPPORTPRESSAPIJOBSPRIVACYTERMSDIRECTORYPROFILESHASHTAGSLANGUAGE 8. http://www.travelden.co.uk/20-forbidden-destinations-you-can-never-visit?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=referral&utm_term=mobileposse-metroweb&utm_content=115314394&utm_site=mobileposse-metroweb&utm_campaign_item=115314394&utm_campaign=AUCAUS-All-3B 9. France Lascaux Caves in France is home to 600+ Paleolithic paintings which are predicted to be over 20,000 years old. The paintings which cover the walls and ceilings illustrate large animals (stags, cattle, bison and more) and local fuana. Sadly, the caves which once received 1,200 visitors per day is now closed to the public (as of 1963), due an ongoing infestation of microbial and fungal growths within the caves that have left black blemishes. 10. States Area 51 is a highly restricted remote military base in the Nevade Desert which is closely guarded from the public. Conspiracy theorists often claim the purpose of Area 51 is for the storage and examination of alien spacecraft, meetings with extra terrestrials and many other wild theories that often draw links with the Roswell event. The real reason Area 51 exists is still a mystery and remains highly classified. Trying to enter would be irresponsible though since it is surrounded by signs warning that security is authorized to use deadly force on people who insist on trespassing. 11. http://www.travelden.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/area-51-2.jpg 12. Island, India On North Sentinel Island, a small island in the Andaman chain in the Bay of Bengal, natives have long been opposed to the influences of the modern world. In fact, the Sentinelese people who live on the island refuse communication with any outsiders, and are willing to get violent to protect their isolation. Following the 2004 tsunami, when the Indian Coast Guard flew a reconnaissance mission over the island, men reportedly emerged from the forests to shoot arrows at the helicopter, which did not land. The Sentinelese have lived on the island for some 60,000 years, and with the protection of the Indian government — which prohibits visitors of any kind — it has successfully resisted anthropologists, authorities and tourists. 13. TOP HEADLINES When Extreme Fires Become Routine: The Canada Letter   The New Yo… · 4h Canada's 'most racist city' makes a comeback   BBC · 12h La Cañada football has no answer for Santa Paula   Los Angeles Times · 5h CANADA | TWITTER @Canada ·  The late Alex Colville, who was born #OTD in 1920, was a Canadian artist who inspired other artists. Art experts have said that Colville’s influence can be found in a number of films including No Country for Old Men, The Shining, A Serious Man and Moonrise Kingdom. 10 hours ago  · Twitter Looking for the perfect souvenir from your summer vacation in Canada? The @ParksCanadaShop has you covered, and a portion of proceeds enable wildlife research in our National Parks. 🦇🐢 Among the many great products are the famous #RedChairs! 15 hours ago  · Twitter Join us in wishing a very happy 27th Independence Day to our friends in @Ukraine! 20 hours ago  · Twitter RT @CanadianPM: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's statement on Ukrainian Independence Day:ow.ly/3XSB30lxsIK 20 hours ago  · Twitter We're only two weeks and a few final touches away from the Toronto International Film Festival! Get ready for the world of cinema to descend on #6ix for 11 days of movie magic! #TIFF2018 🎬🍿 1 day ago  · Twitter One of Canada’s most decorated athletes will continue to have an impact on Canadian hockey. Congratulations to Hayley Wickenheiser who is joining the Toronto @MapleLeafs as the Assistant Director of Player Development! #NHL 1 day ago  · Twitter See all Canada 2018: Best of CanadaTourism - TripAdvisor https://www.tripadvisor.com/Tourism-g153339-Canada Mobile · Canada Tourism: TripAdvisor has 7,880,510 reviews of Canada Hotels, Attractions, and Restaurants making it your best Canada resource. Vancouver Toronto, Ontario Montreal Quebec City Things to Do Canada Hotels Home - Canada.ca https://www.canada.ca Mobile · Get quick, easy access to all Government of Canada services and information. 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Canada | World | The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/world/canada Mobile · The bizarre spat with Canada shows Mohammed bin Salman’s true colours Keep Exploring | An official site of Destination Canada https://us-keepexploring.canada Mobile · An official site of Destination Canada. Witness the magic of the Northern Lights, explore vast national parks and hook the catch of a lifetime in the beating heart of the north. 6 Breathtaking Canadian Wildlife Experiences A Walking Tour of Quebec's Old City Toronto to Niagara Falls: One Wonder After Another The Top 10 Attractions in Toronto Canada | History, Geography, & Culture | Britannica.com https://www.britannica.com/place/Canada Mobile · Canada: Geographical and historical treatment of Canada, including maps and statistics as well as a survey of its people, economy, and government. Canada (@ExploreCanada https://mobile.twitter.com/ExploreCanada ·  Mobile · The latest Tweets from Canada(@ExploreCanada). Welcome to DestinationCanada's consumer account. Use #ExploreCanada and we’ll RT our faves. Compte en français: … RELATED SEARCHES top 10 cities in canada canada tourism visitor travel guide official canada travel guide map of canada canada states canadian department of tourism SEE RESULTS FOR Government of Canada The Government of Canada, officially Her Majesty's Go… Next Get Try the Bing app Richmond, Virginia  · Based on your settings · Edit location · Use GPS location PrivacyLegalAdvertiseAd info © 2018 Microsoft 14. https://www.bing.com/search?q=Canada&go=Search&qs=n&form=QBRE&pc=SMSM&sp=-1&pq=canada&sc=5-6&sk=&cvid=A914A106EF3049A18CEE70D9A51CAEB9 15. http://www.amestrib.com/news/20180824/catching-big-fish8230-3-year-old-from-nevada-nets-muskie-in-canada?template=ampart 16. Catching the big fish… A 3-year-old from Nevada nets a muskie in Canada By Marlys Barker Nevada Journal Posted Aug 24, 2018 at 9:54 AM  Updated Aug 24, 2018 at 10:50 PM Trey Harrison, 3, is shown with his dad, Travis Harrison, and grandpa, Marty Mortvedt, and the 20-plus pound muskie that he hooked while fishing in Canada earlier this month. Contributed photo▲ Austin Mortvedt, front, is Trey Harrison�s uncle, who helped Travis pull the catch in and net it. The three of them are shown on the boat they were on at Lake Ord in Canada when Trey hooked a big muskie in his first-ever time fishing. Contributed photo▲ "There are two types of fisherman — those who fish for sport and those who fish for fish," an anonymous saying goes. Make no mistake about it, 3-year-old Trey Harrison, of rural Nevada, fishes for fish. In fact, on his first-ever fishing outing, which happened this summer, Trey caught a fish that was nearly bigger than him. It's a great story, and one his father, Travis, is happy to tell. It started when the Harrison family — Travis, his wife, Brett, and their two children, Lexi, 5, and Trey — was invited to Canada for a family vacation by Trey's grandpa, Marty Mortvedt, of Nevada. 17. The New York Times Mental Floss Seeking Alpha Global News Inside Pulse Realtor.com Fairbanks Daily News-Miner KOAA 5 Ames Tribune DataBreachToday RESET When Extreme Fires Become Routine: The Can… The New York Ti… · 7h The Republic of Indian Stream: The Forgotten Countr… Mental Floss · 6h Royal Bank Of Canada: Outstanding Quarter - Expect More Seeking Alpha · 5h B.C.’s wildfire smoke isn’t just floating across C… Global News · 43m Fan Expo Canada 2018 Has Exclusive Re-cov… Inside Pulse · 16m 224 Lamour Dr, La Canada Flintridge, CA 91011 Realtor.com · 3h Alaska, northwest of Canada, Fairbanks Daily News-Miner · 16h Fast-growing Montana wildfire forces evacuatio… KOAA 5 · 4h Catching the big fish… A 3-year-old from Nevada net… Ames Tribune · 7h Preparing for Canada's Breach Notification Law DataBreachToday · 1h Fast-Growing Montana Wildfire Forces Evacuations in Canada U.S. News & World Report · 15h 2018 PABCON Senior Championships c… USBC · 11h Henderson trails Yang by 1 in Canada Golf Channel · 11h The Weekly Bottom Line: Canada – Soft End to a Stro… Action Forex · 11h Montréal and Laval award Canada's largest ever battery-electric bus contract to New Fl… Markets Insider · 15h Canada will become the 69th member of the Hague Union related to International Registr… JD Supra · 13h Canada’s CBC names digital chief Rapid TV · 4h Canada 'very encouraged' by progress on US-… thefootballexa… · 11h In Canada Now But Stifled by Smoke Everest · 3h Free Bonus Included - Cialis Canada Din The Community Voice · 9m Canada Pension Plan Investment Board Has $261.… themarketsdaily… · 3h Monetary institution of Canada’s Poloz says fresh inflation jump attributable to transitory comp… Iran Ship · 4h Bret Hart Participates in Special Ceremon… Wrestling news … · 7h Inflation rate's sizzle only temporary blip: B… infotel.ca · 14h Saudi Arabia's Spat with Canada Shows No Signs of Stopping—Now Citizens Can't … Yahoo Finance · 16d Cricket Canada's inaugural T20 league to begin in June ESPNcricinfo · 22d Arab world condemns Canada’s ‘diplomatic failure’ Arab News · 19d Congressman: Canada Guilty Of ‘Economic Terrorism’ The Daily Caller · 29d Canada pushes back and slaps tariffs on U.S. goods from ketchup to pizza Los Angeles Times · 1mon Trump had a chance t 18. https://www.msn.com/en-ca/weather/topstories/bc-e2-80-99s-wildfire-smoke-isn-e2-80-99t-just-floating-across-canada-e2-80-94-it-e2-80-99s-reaching-ireland/ar-BBMpHh7 19. B.C.’s wildfire smoke isn’t just floating across Canada — it’s reaching Ireland The smoke coming from British Columbia's forests amid a furious wildfire season isn't just reaching into Alberta. Plumes of smoke from the fires are believed to be travelling as far east as Ontario, the Maritimes and beyond — even across the Atlantic Ocean to Ireland. That's according to David Lyder, an air emissions engineer with the Alberta government and one of the minds behind FireSmoke.ca, a website whose animated map shows the probable trajectory of wildfire smoke within North America. "Long-range transport of smoke from wildfires is not uncommon," he told Global News. Lyder brought up one forecast in which smoke travelled from northern Alberta and Saskatchewan, helping to trigger air quality advisories in Washington, D.C. And it isn't just B.C. that sends smoke so far. "We get smoke from Siberia," Lyder said. The map forms one component of theBlueSky Western Canada Wildfire Smoke Forecasting System, a project that first developed in 2007 out of concern about the need for smoke projections to help inform weather forecasters, health authorities and other parties. BlueSky, a software system that uses data to model fire, fuel consumption, weather, emissions and dispersion, was initially developed by the U.S. Forest Service. Data tracking all of these factors is pooled into a system that helps to forecast concentrations of fine particulate matter (PM2.5) — an air pollutant that can have negative effects on human health — from wildfires for up to 48 hours. Canada's BlueSky project uses the very same system, gathering data from theCanadian Wildland Fire Information System. READ MORE: Smoke from B.C. wildfires impacting parts of Saskatchewan The data helps to produce animations that display how PM2.5 concentrations will change over the next couple of days. The map showed some heavy smoke hitting Ontario and lesser plumes travelling as far as Quebec and Labrador on Saturday; it had previously shown smoke hitting the Maritimes. The people behind FireSmoke.ca are careful to note that the map shouldn't necessarily be relied upon in isolation; it's considered "experimental" and there are limitations. Satellite detections, for example, are used to find fires. If areas where fires are burning are covered by clouds or smoke, then the emissions from those blazes won't be included in forecasts. Projections displayed by the map can be supplemented by looking at Canada's Wildfire Smoke Prediction System (FireWork), which provides daily smoke forecasts. Nevertheless, both these modelling systems have shown smoke reaching as far as the Maritimes. FireWork, for example, showed lighter PM2.5 concentrations hitting New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia and Newfoundland this weekend, though other fires are burning further east than B.C. Fine particulate matter is indeed reaching Eastern Canada, "but the concentrations are much lower in the Maritimes than they are in B.C.," said Sarah Henderson, senior environmental health scientist at the B.C. Centre for Disease Control. © THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl DyckThe Shovel Lake wildfire burns near the Nadleh Whut'en First Nation in Fort Fraser, B.C., on Thursday August 23, 2018. There are two components to wildfire smoke: PM2.5 and volatile organic compounds (VOCs). While PM2.5 has been noted for its effects on human health, VOCs have more to do with how smoke interacts with our senses. "VOCs are the things that make our eyes sting and that give smoke that campfire smell," Henderson said. "They're not super risky, but they are irritating." VOCs also dissipate as smoke travels. "The volatiles from the smoke are gone by the time they get to the east," Henderson said. John Clague, a professor of earth sciences at Simon Fraser University, said satellite tracking of smoke has shown that heavy concentrations of particles have been carried from B.C. and California to locations thousands of kilometres to the east. "I would say, however, that the duration of the exposure is limited," he said. While the physical effects of smoke are less pronounced by the time it travels such great distances, that doesn't make it harmless. Concentrations may be lower, but the fine matter is still there. "Wherever it gets to, if smoke gets there, it carries with it some risk," said Henderson. Still, "we would expect that smoke from B.C. may have a small impact on health in eastern parts of Canada, if and when it arrives there," she added. 20. 12:03 pm. I thought it was worth telling that the devil has been doing some attacking yesterday n today. It has been really bad. It's not been as i can remember any or much weariness. I may have taken off my shirt yesterday n been getting hot at a point. I was. But it didn't get bad at that point. The air was off since it seemed cooler out but it seemed hot at a point before i opened the window. A break here. But the devil has been obsessing extremely bad -- "Maybe tell not about her. But that's not what I want here," the devil said n it seemed it was being fake but then it does the attacking for apparently some reason, so it's weird it's deflecting to something it's not said was the reason thus far. But I was saying maybe it was doing the thing I'm about to tell about in order to press i cannot tell some things about Karla if she acts strange, which she does do some things that are supposed to indicate she is not normal now further than previously apparently. She puts the hand held blender not on the area to put wet dishes etc like she normally would, it's a towel on the counter, i put it there, the towel. But it's been excruciating that the devil is pressing the stuff about things being dirty etc. It presses now I'm touching my shirt w my hand that i have not yet wiped myself w as im using the bathroom but my hands are supposed to seem dirty etc. "I'm something that can't do that anymore cuz something will happen that km doing it," the devil said. But it does stuff like this. It's going crazy w my memory for did I wash my hands after I ate something or did something in the

[wlwchans]

.

[haeroniel-doliet]

thbleugh but what bich is gonna fight me for me

idk im just gonna rant again, im sorry if youre on mobile just like, give it a big flick and fly past this i tried i actually have a read more this time

anywy im feelin shitty an dumb n weird an its not fun?? like do we try categorize these feelings: 

1. i have 3 days to pass a course and all the course work i failed to do in fucking march 

1.b. all those emotions to do w unis great! but also ive been solow and sad and dysfunctional its not rly even funny, grades dropping many levels in half a year like. sure grades dont define my life but considering how easy it is for me to get those grades to see them consistently and kinda dramatically dropping isnt helping (even though like i actively know i got lower grades bc i didnt fucking attend class or take in any knowledge. i realise hahah im making a psychology reference bc im a smart psychology uni student.... hmh oh yeah we, we learned about this, i dont know it. my peers do. oh. oh i didnt, i didnt learn anything. oh no. im here to learn abt the subject im supposedly loving and thats the best fit for me bc like hell id be an artist. anyway i have a lot of shit down here i havent figured out who to talk it out to. the mental health advisor didnt have the time for it rly and w counsellors its been different topics but now were in summer and id rather spend the spare money i can rattle off my parents on ballet than a psyhc i could see 2 times best. im just gonna have to wait till septembet bc my dumb white wall subscitption expired too damnti. ugh im just, okay lets move on

2. inadequacy thats not justified? like it is obvs bc it bothers me and i know i can do better and i am better than this all and i clearly have smth stopping me. while to others im doing just fine if not better than them who are really struggling and kinda dont have sympathy for me who goes ‘ugh im doing so badly and struggling, i mean i write perfect essays in one go but its just so hard to do thattt and i know im smarter and better than this’ esp bc say putting words together in that way is difficult on them and not been good at school

2.b. like being good at school but noot being good now, classic phenomenon or has my school system always been the softes most coddliest and where in the normal or worse school 1would have performed average and maybe learned to study and the worth of it to do better, ive just been good enough that caring became so unnecessary i need to waste my time on pointless but constant other things. like youtube and rpchats. constant monotone stimulation for hours. andhours. 

2.c. asking for help bc im struggling w actually getting over the fuzzy and struggle and self hate and blegh feelings to do some work thatd allow me to pass the coursein my 3 days of the very last extended time. and then realising, ah either youve slaved over your work and stressed and panicked to have it good and on time and have no pity left for me and my foolishness, or you never got to uni/struggled to go to uni and think im wasting my opportunity by being an ungrateful lazy piece of hsit. and i know ia m. and 2.d. its the reason why im not doing extra volunteering or serious extra curriculars thatd give the headstart in my lfie. bc, even tho on one side i wanna be that kid and owuld scoff at ppl not doing it who are here for fun and get a degree on the side, rn i see it as not stealing away dedicated good peoples spots who deserve to get the extra recognition for being clever and independent, meanwhile knowing htat probablyill be just fine. worst case scenario for me is literally (ok theres worse but v unlikely) living w my parents and ending up at a mediocre service job to another mediocre office job or smth and never get to a lab bc i wasnt sufficient enough and i never got the cotton balls out of my head and cleared up again to be smart enogh

okay what next, shitty privilige, crying abt my cotton ball head or not being smart

3. okay were gonna do the smart first bc my chest hurts and i kinda feel like crying or smth abt it. like in a dumb (fun) chat im playing athena known for wisdom and all this shit, and though i can throw out a quip or two or cleverly use smth to keep the smartass wisdom stick going on, every now and then i realise how dumb i am and not smart enough that another person could clearly fill this in much better. like. you know all the hilarious posts abt mansplaining and women being pushed out of their fields by dumber men who think they know better bc the others a woman and like, yeah? things where they are confident enough to say, actually i am way smarter than you and i know this bettr. here i am feeling like even if i spent years researching smth i wouldnt have the confidence to feel smart and knowldegeable abt it. like rn, i cant even hold arguments anymore bc im a fool. and i come off as dumb and i dont want to be, i still wanna be the smart kid, but im not working my brain im not doing work or research or learning, im jsut floating by w my cotton ball head thats getting fuzzier and fuzzier and though i can do tasks and would probably b v compeittive if it came to that and need to prove myself as smart, i can no longer feel like id hold my own, esp when people poke holes so easily, trap falls, “hah you dont know what to say ive bested you you dumb bitch” vibey things i just. its horrible? i wanna be smart and be confident in my smartness and feel recognized as smart by other people and live up to that expectation of actually being clever. and not just, knowing im smart enough in some ways bc school ive  passed so easy w always good remarks and participate well in class discussion and all, and im sure nobody thinks im rly dumb bc if i have to ask things im v friendly and try to be attentive. and idk if nobodys expecting more than me, bc again if i cant answer ive developed to be v chill about it and come off as average i guess. 

anyways 4. privilige; like thers multiple inc. the fact im fucking finnish aka my education system was supposedly one of the best, i grew up international so i wasnt even confined to one shitty school in one shitty town, ive had varied school experiences and switching so much i think has given me confidence in myself and shit like that. also bc im finnish i get grants in uni, like free money. and so far i have barely had to use it bc surprise my parents are togther and decently well off bc they got lucky w a job being fancy ppl for 3 years and my older brother is already  adulting and slowly doing his own thing so i can have more money from them. aka. catch my dad paying all my rent and food and everything i need/ ask for on the condition we keep a good releationship. and im reasonable bc he raised me smart apparently idk. but that still means im living at home i have no intentions of becoming an independent home owner bc idk how i would esp since ill be with my parents most holidays for years to come and idk even when or how ill become a real adult being in a real home w real comapnionship. bc rn idk who im even gonna live with, hopefully be civil w them maybe even make a bit of friends but im not gonna have a significant other to move in and support me for a while bc thats a thing idk if were getting into today in this why im feeling shitty rant. 

4.b. so im priviliged in everyway to go to uni for free (damn i gotta apply for that again) in a nice country and a nice and supportive school and get funding from both my parents and my country and not worry abt money and just get a degree all supported and babied again. im also, idk. priviliged bc, fuck writing comes easy to me, i know nayone reading my rants would be like... yeah this is barely legible and terrible writted and mind blurts so i say it is yes bc its mind blurts but i can organise my htoughts into fancy essays surprisingly easy and critical stuff like psych and english came  mad easy to an extent. sure, i wasnt talented in math but i still made it, i am not talented in science but sometimes the concepts click and i can . but then, im also talented in art. and im not ashamed to say its privilige disposition or talent or smth, bc damn. i do not practice or dedicate enough love to claim that. sure, ive drawn always, sure, ive practiced more as a kid thatn other kids and thats probably carried me thru pretty far, but i think ive just had a natural disposition to be good at art technique (creativity maybe not so, or inspiration) but i know what looks good and sometimes how to achieve that. cue montage to art class where i sit w my friends who are talking about bands or making outlines w nut shells bc there i am beside them doing the work in half the time twice as good. mostly bc the teacher wasnt great and would assign essentially copying a picture from a4 to a2 u know like drawing the same thing. and thats not easy. and youre supposed to build up really light layers and slowly refine it.  and ppl who listened only ended up w shitty light drawings that either look like potatoes or vaguely like the picture, while i with boosting confidence would go, we only do one super light sketch one medium sketch and one dark layer. bc by the medium one everything is in its place and looks abt like everyone elses and i need the dark hues to show it accurately even if it isnt perfect, and my work would like almost always stand out on the wall bc it was so different/advanced. i wont lie it influenced my friends to not draw as well or as much sitting next to me, and ofc id feel bad and i could never boast bc i felt bad that they didnt try bc they saw me, thought mines not gonna be like that so im just gonna fuck around and do whatever. and i obvs needed praise but would always feel bad bc it was obviously me who was the best in that class and its so self conceited but, it kinda just was true in that small class half of whom didnt want to be there. me butt kissin and trying to impress myself w my skill. catch like, that first day he asked us to draw the person next to us, and i made my partner draw me first, bc i just knew if i went first theyd look at it and draw me a potato stick figure in 5 seconds and say i cant draw like you. and true. while the rest of the class made sketchy circle guys, some looing so childish, here i went and said, okay i find it awkward having you stare at me and if  you move a lot it makes it harder to be accurate, so, like take out your phone and get comfortable and look down at that for a while hence drawing3/4 unlike anyone else w eyes cast down and damn if i dont remember it being beautiful and identifiable as that friend, even tho the teacher told ppl around me like, ah yes she did it this way, 3/4 not face on which is much easier. which is true but bitch you never said. sides it looks so much better and was so much less frustrating. anyway, even now in that chat i go and like drop my drawings in bc partially i just wanna draw more and showing people makes me draw? u know. and i kinda wanna get compliments. but ive figured im pretty humble abt it. and sure i get comments that are like god i wish i could draw like that from someone that doesnt draw arms or legs and theyre v bublehead cartoon. and im like. you could. but yours is still middle school level, so just, keep working at it, get confidence to break your mold. 

that andtheres this one chick that,,,, gawd, well they admit to being a sociopath in chat which is great and seem real attention seekery in general (theres a surprising amount of people, while in midst of rp and getting compliments go “well i guess im a shit rpr because nobody wants to rp with me ://) post art and then be like dramatically UGH i hate it it looks so bad im terrible at art, literally poster girl for fishing for compliments. and even if i dont like the style at all, i try give in anatomical pointers or smth abt the drapery or smth technical i can complement. bc id want the same i guess? and i dont love let alone like the art itself. and then, while getting so many of those theyre like “yeah well nobody likes my art, say it reminds them of this character (jessica rabbit while all hers have big hips big tits tiny waists massive lips massive eye, but just one eye bc the otehrs covered by hair like theres obvious similarities) which means im totally not original like i thought so why even try!” and other melodramatic things that i can argue, but they dont wanna hear it they want attention and praise and i just ughhh i could preach you about how no art is original and its all from influence, or how someone doesnt have to like your style to appreciate it, or someone might love your style and like. basic stuff ive figured out myself. and it gets frustrating trying not to get a superiority, or to start shoving my own art in there to try compete or smth. and its just. hard. idk. id k. i know theres people who are averse to art and never tried to be good at it who are obvs gonna be omg thats so good i cant even draw and ill be like, hah yeah sure dude if you tried maybe btut thanks. 

also drawing man its so weird, whenever i see someone elses drawing a part of me goes “we must draw so that we can show were better than that” like, either to get complimetns and shift it to me? or to just show them off. to be like. i can do it better. which i kinda hate about myself? that i draw mostly bc of that and a need to show off? like amxxs art or smth, them talking like yeahh ugly art is good art, drawing is so healing i feel great or im so proud of myself for improivng so much look at my art, and a part of me goes, awh yes! my theorys proven working on art for yourself improves and can cheer you up, another goes, yesnow i must draw to show how good i am and show how i too feel fulfilled by drawing but also make it about me by weeping how i hate drawing myself. literally smths wrong w me seeing others pot abt their midrift, or learning to accept their curves or drawing themselves or smth, and theres a gremlin of me going like yeah but i cant draw myself bc i tried once and it looks like shit and ill only highlight my flaws and im slightly afraid of someone saying it looks exactly like me or other dumb shit, or i dont have curves to accept bcim not big hip big thic thigh girl im just. my legs are big but mostly ugly bc of the skin on them not bc of their size (ankles tho oof) and i have no hips i have no butt bc it allwent to my stoamch thats also ugly and my broad   badly postured back thats also ugly w these spots and marks and scars soon probably. and saggy boobs dont forget those. bc theyre literally fat sacks aiming for the ground i guess. anyway. no cute curves,  no beautiful skin no nth its just tough and i cant help but feel the negativity towards myself in almost every glimpse of someone elses positivity. i dont always air it which would be horrible of me to do, but its still there. making their happiness about my misery. maxx loves their boyfriend?> i hate them bc i dont like him and its rining it> i hate them havingsuch a dreamy but fake seeming ‘soulmate’ relationship bc its not true and i think itll end up terribly> im neveer gonna have that and im jealous of them i guess having someone theyd dedicate so much to and who loves them so much theyre all over the place making sappy things> well theyre an oveer romantic whod do it over the smallest things this wasnt a great example. 

anyway yeah extra note, even if i felt comfortable enough for sex im not comfortable enough in my body for that and idk how thats relevant to anything but i guess thats smth id also talk w a therapist abt whod probably tell me, then dont have sex! like yeah thats my plan.but im talking never gonna be able to form a relationship bc even having a friend for a sleepover makes me uncomfortable having them see me in an uncontrolled clothed position. u feel. 

anyway i have a lot of little problems that amount and i guess when i start addressing one the rest pop up their ugly heads and this is why i never getanywhere. this all comes from  how shitty i feel from how i have literally not even 3 full days to complete those tasks and pass, and i know i need to, though nothing in me actually feels like itll actually do the work u know, that spiraled through that chat into privilige of being at school and how i should tryy a bit that turned to im priviliged to be smart to pass and in my talent in art despite not being an artist that spiraled to another way i disliked myself and thats my fucked relations to myself my body and relationships (esp including me that dont exist)  

side note, though no surprise if for some ungodly reason youve read this shit i wrote at 8.30 am when i have a docs appointment abt my very ugly skin at 12.45 i over share. easily. if somseone asks id give them all. look at this. even in that chat i spiraled from, hah fun fucked up thing im almost failing my course bc im a shit, to my  heads filled with fuzz and i hate that i cant live up to my potentia. and im surprised how much i like this one guy, though who with his character ripped into my athena and make me question all my smartness, really makes me feel better ooc??? like theyre genuinely nice and just too informed and funny and playing the dick for a very well thought out reason (drunk doesnt mean it etc) and while the sociopath gal is giving me the side eye after they tried to help but figured out im a prviliged kid whos in school for free and not making the most of it and how easy school has been forme when for them despite their hard efforts they failed high school.u know not reallly helping kinda making me fele worse bc i know i should be doing better and could be and not only bc i have a priviliged opportuntity to and ability, i would benefit so much more if i did it for myself. but here comes by weird guy who slips on a freudian approach and claims they love helping ppl through their problems so i drop another overshare paragraph if he rly wanted to help but lighten it by taking thetopic off, he doesnt return and never address my post bc now its onto talking abt the big rp thing. im not mad. i just, idk i kinda wanted their support, another poor stranger to inflict w my extremely troubled wordy lengthy and i guess complex thoughts and feelings and lack there of sometimes and other shit. 

anyway im not doing great but im gonna grab 3 hrs of sleep before the doc, come back, nap, go to ballet again, come back, ad.... do smth.. work. maybe. one can hope. i hate it will it actually work only time can tell and i hate myself already.ugh. i hate i hate im not okya with this why cant someone else deal w me for me. deal with all these feelings and botherings and make me do my work and be satisfied doing it and do it all in time and feel a little success and reward myself like i should for work done and not just when i want. idk. someone,t ake over my life, you might be better at it. help me dela with school that i currently hate the most even if im meant to end up a scholar or smth

[uniformbravo]

time 2 overshare on my own -blog- even tho it’s not even 10 pm yet (i mean by the time i post this it will be well past 10 but im starting this at 9:50 pm so thats some fun time shenanigans for u)

um?????? depression has been hitting me so hard this past week my dudes *half-hearted finger guns* the mood rightnow is me falling off a skateboard while doing that. sorry that didn’t really work out im really off my game right now,

yeah tho im just kind of upset that this is happening 2 Me currently bc it’s holding me back so much & im tired of it. when will i stop feelin like shit for no reason. i made that post thta was like “i wanna work on stuff but i have to wait for my brain to stop being a ffjj shit before i can even think abt it” well it’s Worse now uuuugghghghhgggghhhhhh

i keep feeling hopeless about all my current projects like “whats the point im never gonna finish them” and feeling pressured by a sense of time running out and just generally feeling overwhelmed by the thought of said projects & it’s so frustrating like i know that im only feeling that way because im in a rut rn and i know i have good days and weeks and months where i feel productive as hell and have a lot of fun working on my stuff like i know all that but it doesn’t do anything to drive the hopeless feelings away and honestly im just sitting here trying to logic depression away & it’s not working & its makin me mad like FUck off for real dude

and it’s not just my projects that this is affecting, it’s like. mob psycho ok im in this ugly state rn where most of the time just thinking about it is setting off this fuckin anxiety response in me??? i really want to catch up in the manga i have 2 goddamn chapters left including the currently updating one and i just want to Be There but i need to be in the right state of mind to read it & right now my state of mind is “vicious wave of anxiety every time i think about it” so that’s fun that’s a lot of fun and not complete and utter bullshit in any way at all

the same thing happened with fanfiction too i got halfway through today’s update of that fic i rly like and then had to stop because the anxiety was becoming really distracting and its just like!!! cant you just let me enjoy my favorite things in peace oh my god what is this!!!!! literally what is this right now explain yourself @ God Himself

(it even happens w/ other fic i’ve read recently, it’s rly good but it always makes me feel like shit after like cOme ON)

basically to summarize there are so many things that i want to be doing and want to be working on but im like “no first i have to wait for these ugly feelings to pass before i can do that” except the feelings aren’t passing, they’re just getting worse and i am so sick of it i never want to See another emotion again in my life

[princeyangg-blog]

18/08/17

i wake up a little late. i check tumblr but vin hasnt been online in the last hour- he must still be asleep! i miss him so much, i love you need to get some breakfast

started reading my book. aim to do ~50 pages today grumpy hhhh i want my bf so Badly im so fucking grumpy im feeling a lot better!! mannn i love my bf im glad this book is nearly over. im developing a paranoia that my bf doesnt want me based on this books narrators thoughts vin has an (assumed) short struggle with deciding whether not to go to a party or not. this struck me out of the blue. hes ‘clingy’? (to nathan). i always thought that was associated with your partner, not friends. even urban dictionary agrees then again, who am i to judge for his vocabulary? or even their friendship. ive entered vincents life for a total of one year so far- and i cannot hope to be more significant than someone who has been best friends for well over 4, maybe even 5 years. the fact that vin has changed his last name to nathans is sure proof of that. in many ways, i am sure nathan has made a fantastic friend. but 'clingy’? how many times we have told each other we were clingy? no one else had told me that. it really did something special to me, and i have always treasured myself as a token of clinginess. obviously, and much rather rudely, i had assumed that he was clingy Only to Me. that i was his Only One. its nothing much. i am sure it was more of a gesture of honesty and admittance of helplessness. i am sure if i was in the same position, id do the same. i never suffered depression and anxiety like vin did, could i blame him? but its all kind of built up. the little nuisances. i havent been too happy with the long pauses between texts. i have no idea whats going on!! i do try and let vincent know what i am doing but it seems examples dont lead. i would have appreciated if at least i was told that there would be slow replies, or no replies.. approaching the end of the week, i realise its kind of been a revelation of many things. first, my overwhelming jealousy. yeah.. i need to get that fixed. shaking hands rn. honestly im such a bitcher about things but this is my diary, right? secondly, my results!!! ❤️ lastly, im in a good position to steam ahead with my preparation for the school term. when i finish this book, ill be in good shape to start revising my english and economics. im an old hypocrite myself, and i am sure that i have done many of the things ive said above. as much as i perhaps like to think- i am not the perfect person that vin sees of me, but incredibly flawed. the thing i hate about myself most is my jealousy. it doesnt seem possible for me to stop being jealous at every single encounter that vin meets without me being there. its honestly pretty horrible to be so jealous the only cure i see is to just Endure it. of course im really sad and wish vin was with me right now :^( i miss him so much.. but it IS a good chance to test myself. a full week!! what a trial. my emotions have been all over the place- a shamble, to say the least. if i could grade myself, id have definitely failed LMAO i am clingy to my bf, and some might say thats really unhealthy!! of course, now i see. definitely over estimated jealousy~ on the other hand, i am glad to be clingy. what a wonderful feeling, to love your partner with every second.. its a reminder of how blessed i am to have such a wonderful boyfriend. if ur reading this vin, i just wanna let you know how proud i am to have you. ur the most selfless person i know and you mean so much to me!! that includes the whole world :/// you are always there as my beacon of light. i should aspire to be like you and keep going, even if I am extremely tired. I realise this now, but ultimately, you have the greatest passion to do things for the people you love. that includes me and nathan. you are willing to walk to my house, you are willing to do Anything just to see me. i had never seen the enormity of that until now. despite being miserably tired, you still went to todays party because you loved nathan! that is an incredibly faithful gesture i have learned from you to never keep my head down. keep at it!!! its half an hour before midnight. feelin grumpy again. why does everything end in stripping and my bf is paranoid ill leave him? grrr id never do that :^( i love him so much i cant Leave him.. id never strip in front of other people except my bf either? that kind of stuff is just... i wouldnt ask someones gf to strip, even if it was in a game. then again i AM pretty childish. maybe this is some kind of grown up shit? no strings attached? mums gone and annoyed me again. im D O N E what a rollercoaster of emotions. i love my bf hes made me so happy aww im Smiling right now please just take me away from home shdkdjskdfn i love you goodnight zzzZZZzz im gonna go fuck myself up and die

[sapphicidols]

92 Statements

i was tagged by @whyclarke ily youre the light of my life

RULES: you must answer 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: katie !!!! 3. Text: “shes a cheating bitch i hate to use the b word on her but its the truth” [lmao i was texting katie about my ex when she sexted her ex] 4. Song you listened to: ease my mind by hayley kiyoko 5. Time you cried: about a week ago 6. Dated someone twice: lmao no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i mean ,, yeah  8. Been cheated on: yeah and it sucked ass 9. Lost someone special: not that i can think off no 10. Been depressed: still am a lil bit but im getting better  Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope and tbh im not planning to drink because of Horrible Things Ive Experienced When I Was A Child

LIST 3 FAV COLOURS (12-14): pastel blue, yellow, soft pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes !!! shoutout to maya who i made friends at the airport because she was wearing a panic! shirt 16. Fallen out of love: yeah 17. Laughed until you cried: for sure :’) 18. Found out someone was talking about you: y e a h 19. Met someone who changed you: you bet it  20. Found out who your friends are: yes and i have some pretty amazing friends tbh 21. Kisses someone on your Facebook list: LMAO FACEBOOK i fuckin laughed

GENERAL 22. How many of your fb friends do you know irl: facebook is for old people [i agree with em] 23. Do you have any pets: used too 24. Do you want to change your name: nah 25. What did you do for your last bday: went to ny with my daddo 26. Time you woke up: 7:00 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep while listening to tegan and sarah 28. Name something you can’t wait for: the nwsl game on sat 29. Last time u saw ur mom: ten minutes ago lmao love u 30. Last time u saw ur best friend: two hours ago 31. What were u listening to rn: taxi cab by twenty one pilots 32. Have u ever talked to a person named tom: ive talked to a tommy does that count

33. Something that is getting on ur nerves: my foot and having to lotion it i fuckin hate it so much         

34. Most visited website: this hellhole

35- 37: three fav albums!! (if they dont have questions im making them up)         self titled by top ; white noise by pvris ; ultralife by oh wonder                          38: Hair colour: dirty blonde ;)

39: Long or short hair: mediumish 40. Do u have a crush on someone: unless u count isabelle lightwood nah 41. What do u like about ur self: i think i’m a kind good person i guess 42. Piercings: nope 43. Blood type: i dont know man am i suppose to 44. Nickname: shan 45. Relationship status: single and ready to meet the love of my life @god im looking at you 46. Zodiac: aquarius 47. Pronouns: she/they  48. Fav tv show: shadowhunters 49. Tattoos: none but i want some !!! 50. Right or left handed: right handed my dude 51. Surgery: had to get my left bunion done and they had to put some screws in and i have to get the other foot done next summer rip 52. piercing: still no 53. Sport: soccer !!!! 54. Hobby: writing and listening to music 55. Vacation: going to ny [em !! when are you going omg]                                 56. Instrument: used to play flute but lmao it was three years ago

MORE GENERAL 57. Eating rn: had fritos a couple hours ago 58. Drinking rn: water 59. I’m about to: maybe finish this thing when will it end 60. I just: got on this hellhole 61. Waiting for: my mother to go into her room so i wont be sneaking around on this website lmao 62. Want to: fucking walk and run !!! god i wanna run 63. Get married: hopefully someday!!!! i wanna love someone 64. Career: my inner child wants to be a playing for the portland thorns in nwsl but being realistic im gonna be a psychologist but ive been thinking about doing psyco trauma

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs !!! 66. Lips or eyes: eyes mmm 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: for dating, older 69. i give up man 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms i guess  71. yall come up with it u got this 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship for sure 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker but i dont do sketchy stuff okay trust me

HAVE YOU EVER 74. Kissed a stranger: nah 75. Drank hard liquor: one time i accidentally drank my dads wine because i thought it was dr pepper okay it was dark and the glass wasnt see through 76. Lost glasses/contacts: nah but i once broke my glasses does that count 77. Turned someone down: sadly yeah and i r e g r e t but i was in a relationship and im faithful so i did the right thing 78. Sex on the first date: depends if i like her a lot 79. Broken someone’s heart: i think my ex when i told her i dont wanna be friends anymore 80. Had ur heart broken: yeah bitch and now i have even more trust issues 81. Been arrested: lol nah but ive been to a jail before when i was younger long story 82. Cried when someone died: not really because im a stone cold bitch [jk but im pretty sure my emotions are fucked up because whenever something is sad i i smile ???] 83. Fallen for a friend: like a tiny crush

DO YOU BELIEVE IN 84. Yourself: yeah !!! 85. Miracles: depends on the mood 86. Love at first sight: nah 87. Santa Claus: uuuhhhh y e a h ??????????

88. Kiss on the first date: i mean if were both feelin it 89. Angels: i guess

OTHER 90. Current bf’s name: CURRENT BOYFRIEND YOU WISH SUSAN 91. Eye Colour: greyish blue 92. Fav movie: wonder woman owns my fucking ass

i dont know twenty people are u serious

whoever wants to do this no ones stopping u

[ellyrad]

2:39am

Shoot 1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? -nooo, i'm chillin rn. i'm still p heartbroken and i don't have time to be with anyone else tbh 2.When did your last hug take place? -at work 3.Are you a jealous person? -highkey 4.Are you tired right now? -my sleeping schedule is kinda fucked up and i'll be awake until like 5 in the morning :// 5.Do you chew on your straws? -i used to but nah 6.Have you ever been called a tease? -ehe 👀 7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? -i take multiple naps times in a day. i don't think i can be awake for that long 8.Do you cry easily? -hahaha just bc i'm going through it rn but midkey yeah 9.What should you be doing right now? -i should pee but i'm too lazy to get up 10.Are you a heavy sleeper? -only if i'm dreaming really good, in a good sleeping position, etc. but when there's people over i wake up hella easily 11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? - :-) 12.Are you mad at someone right now? -not mad.... annoyed 13.Do you believe in love? -next 14.What makes you laugh no matter what? -*m m m maybach music* meme with walter jr from breaking bad, it's fucked up but it be having me and linda on our necks 😂 15.Who was the last person you talked to? -mom 16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like? -i get anxiety HAHHAHA 17.Will you get married? -i hope so, i think about my friends and family coming to see me and my mans get married and i get emotional. like if we get married, our wedding is gonna b LIT as fuck 18.When was the last time you smiled? -when gurp came thru hella late just to give me food 😭 bless this man 19.Does anyone like you? -i hope not, i'm tired 20.Do you secretly like someone? -it's not a secret tho 21.Who was the first person you talked to today? -uh no one bc the day just started 22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? -linda/ella 23.What are you NOT looking forward to? -this fucking easter egg hunt and it's gonna be so busy with hella kids coming in prob tryna get hc and shit 24.What ARE you looking forward to? -i can't even think of anything. i'm just going through these days and hoping it'll be good 25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it? -bitch i dont know 26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do? -honestly, i'd have a panic attack, go to the bathroom and silently bawl my eyes out , then pretend like i took a shit bc i'll be in there for 30 minutes prob talking to linda about what happened :') 27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year? -i want to, butttt it's like i'm OK rn. it'd be nice but no one's down to fucking move out!! 28.Are you a forgiving person? -depends what they did, but usually i am. it sucks. i'm too fucking patient too... for why 29.How many TRUE friends do you have? -like 4 30.Do you fall for people easily? -i mean baby crushes yeah, but falling falling, it might take a little while 31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? -no 32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? -dicc.... jk i wish... rubber bands for my braces 33.Who was the last person you drove with? -mom, i have to pick her up everyday from work now bc she's too lazy to find parking 🙄 34.How late did you stay up last night and why? -3am bc i was tweaking 35.If you could move somewhere else, would you? -i'm chillin rn, i like the bay 36.Who was the last person you took a picture of? -idk 37.Can you live a day without TV? -i don't even watch tv like that 38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? -a month ago hahahaaa 39.Three names you go by... -D, Ylle, Durl 40.Are you currently in a relationship? -currently depressed 41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie? -idunno 42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate? -yes, maybe even multiple ones 43.What’s your current problem? -i'm stuck between trying to move on "for the better" but also acknowledging my feelings and not forcing myself to. yes i do still have feelings for him, and oh fucking well?? if i do find out that he finally is with someone else then i will move on, bc what's the point? but at the same time i know we won't end up being back together but there's that hope that we will. and idk, i'm just letting myself get through this day by day. why should i keep liking someone who doesn't even talk to me anymore lolol fuck idk just run me over maybe? 44.Have you ever had your heart broken? -bitch stop 45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships? -depends on how far they live... like my ex thought we were on LDR but this fool lived like 45 min away... so to me, it was good bc we saw each other twice or even more in a week. i think there was a good amount of time to miss each other. and i don't know if i like the idea of seeing your sig. other everyday, although that would be nice. but i feel like they'd get sick of me tbh 😭 as long as you are both making the effort and being consistent then it's fine. but he just stopped being consistent and i just kept getting disappointed that i pushed him away. ANYWAY, both people just need to put in work, and if not, then leave 46.How many kids do you want to have? -max 5 lol, i want a big family so the parties can be litty 47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them? -before YES. but i've been more straight up nowadays that if i were feelin you, i'd prob tell you. but that's IF i'm reallyyyyyy feelin you

[marlaluster]

emptying clipboard

35 views blawkoI want to disappear for a loooong time JULY 23 Instagram Log in|Sign up ABOUT USSUP https://www.instagram.com/blawko/blawko i shot you. but he did it - blawko™️ 135posts16followers13following https://www.instagram.com/p/BjONxTtA2SM/ 17,217 likes blawko22Leave her the fuck alone. Yall still coming on my girls page asking “oh if I throw water on u will u break.” smh broh. Quit it w that shit. Why the Internet always just gotta be a place to kick people when they truly own? I talk mad shit online yall know that. But this girl right here is going through the hardest time i could ever imagine. She is real trauma mode and u all still treating her like shit. Being one of threee robots out aint always cool and the questions can drain ya energy (not literally breh shut ya fuckin 8th grade ass up w that). She dont want nothing to do w me or my peoples at @brud.fyi rn but she still a person and she still the most sensitive person I know. She been going out late, partying, all that. I never known her to do anything like that an yall comments aint helping. She tryna get out of a bad place and yall keeping here there. Chill w that. I fuckin hate being serious online this shit corny but YEAH Load more comments vibewith_lee@bbyjayda i don’t get it 😭 bbyjayda@vibewith_lee they’re computer animations 💀 if you throw water on them they’ll malfunction vibewith_lee@bbyjayda LMFAOO OHHH bbyjayda@vibewith_lee LMFAOOOOOO surliar@mxoxxii Righttt smh, what is this? chrisssarah@___malcriado___ for the clout emmalucia.hhaha i love how the both of u aren’t real philsoceaneyes_“Oops that was for someone else!!” LMFAOAJSOQMAOEJ lil_bxdieSo fakeeee kenya_handyI can’t believe I sat here and read all that it’s not like y’all humans how does she have feelings my nigga 😂 eli.x.scherer@calidreaminsab like whaaaat lol morgan_dorsey3Niggaaa u a flippin machine how u suppose to have feelins like explain pls calidreaminsab@elixscherer dude lol _rubylocker_@knvgmira they not even real 💀 knvgmira@_rubylocker_ still rude _rubylocker_@knvgmira poor robots 😪 heroinfa.therNigga pull up, Water guns loaded pussy yungchesthurts47Lmaooooooooo I’m crying what feelings y’all have? amvdosikyu@emmalucia.h woow amvdosikyu@kenya_handy so what? It doesn’t mean you gotta treat them like there life ain’t got no value-.- raneen_shelbayehShe's a robot how the fuck is she supposed to have feelings like what ? haras_treblig_Feelings or not? Stfu why do you feel the need to be rude cortes830Maybe you need an oil change appleee_juice@asshole.c_ Well, what's going on here is like a story. It isn't real, obviously, but I suppose it's sort of story playing itself out over social media instead of on TV? I hope I answered your question well, I'm not very good at explaining things xD mack_sully29Robot or not everyone / thing has feelings keep that in the back of your mind nickolas3.14Whay is she going through shes not even real 😭😂😂😂 skimaskjoshh@heroinfa.ther😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 skimaskjoshh@heroinfa.ther when I saw this I died 😂😂😂😂💀💀💀 autumn_rose3219@kenya_handy ikr😂ahhhh this got me deaddddd 💀 this dude owes me back the time I waisted reading this🤦🏼‍♀️😂 autumn_rose3219Yoooo y’all better be nice or they gone take us over. Dead a💀 6mnc9‘But this girl right here is going through the hardest time’. How tf do robots have a hard time. It’s bs. They aren’t like us, they don’t have any problems twilight_zoneeee"She's going through a lot"...just say she malfunctioned and go andreadankerrcome get whoever is running this account lmfao kweenofnoize214@igotspunk94 Agreed...and that is why I cannot stop looking at their pages, and even though I have my ideas, or beliefs, whatever anyone wants to call it, I am extremely fascinated by how it is actually working on people...so many people commenting are truly feeling empathy and sympathy for them....it's just insane, but I get it, not in the same emotional way, but in a knowledgeable way, I get what is going on here, and the fact that it is working....does that make sense? tiller.jr_19Y’all must of not played Detroit: becomes human, y’all better quit it before they revolting on god 😂😂 blawkoShe wants my name dezzzyxo@alonnanicole12 dezzzyxoARE YOU GUYS ROBOTS OR IS THIS A LIE IM FUCKING CONFUSED BRUHHHHH dezzzyxoBRUHHH. Im over here struggling to just go week by week and make rent. Tf.@alonnanicole12. qutestxoAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAGAH SHES A FUCKING ROBOT CGIBITCH linn_sommerShe is a computer drawing...feelings...smh x.erinnnxOh my god 😂 that caption... acfutU actin like u don't have an off switch makennapowersss@acfut IM PISSING messiahlisa"She's still a person" hol up sabrina__hsieh@acfut SHSHDJFFNFGJASHSHD playstationgalWhoever is behind this account programming this shit it's retarded you_vishhShe's still a robot will water shot her😂 shut up ttaylor.johnsonif I throw water on you will you break rakuten.collin4kOkay I'll just use the off switch charlottedicksunDamn she be dressing in Gucci tho.. lizzz.kiddShe needed reboot give her a sec 502.black.princess@6mnc9 lies, robots can be programmed to have feelings like stress, therefore they may been programmed to have feelings but their feelings are real . itsjojo_23@_izzyreyes_ elsaabarakat@kevinsemaan maba3rif shu hess l comments ktir bi dahko official.ririnxtdoorThe caption took me out💀 jesibill"She's a person" he said 🤣 m.dogg04you’re not real and neither is she adelinaxbogdanBUT IS SHE REAL ARE YOU REAL acfut@makennapowersss pics or didn't happen👁 makennapowersss@acfut lol terikelly56"""""""People""""""""" more like sum synthetic shits nouurthwest@skander.khiari read it 😂 jazzy3939@amy_ftp freehugga_Bro your not even real that’s why your sticking up for her cjohnelWtf are y’all robots or not https.leone@cjohnel they are robots https.leone@official.ririnxtdoor sammeeee 😂 💀 https.leone@rakuten.collin1k I'm dead 😂 😂 😂 💀 💀 https.leone@playstationgal for real 😂 💀 playstationgal@https.leone like tf they acting like these robots have feelings and that actual drama is going on between them 😂 cheyenne2wavy_SHES JUST A FUCKING DEVIANT MAY 25 Instagram Log in|Sign up ABOUT USSUPPORTPRESSAPIJOBSPRIVACYTERMS https://www.instagram.com/p/BjavS6IgyAx/ 7,782 likes blawko22PART 4/6 So heres where shit got kinda not lit and also not cool. Woke up here w no phone an no wallet. Also yerrr i can get wet suck my tiny robot DICK. the moral of the story is i guess never smoke weed ever? Idk. lemme know. Is weed bad? Load more comments thickems_39Weed ain’t bad juliabroggio@canabriza olha outroooo canabriza@juliabroggio MEDO REAL drunkofflustWeed isnt bad, you trippin, also how u take a pic w no phone, lmk vasili.boraninaWhat the hell is going on on this account? I'm so confused. I didn't understand anything. Can someone please explain? vasili.boranina😂 triggerwarninganimal@charlie_crosby12 young_queen866Can you please do a face reveal trentonlancashireI smoke every damn day on some easy shit ruby.eliz22Looking like a whole gta character xo.karTiny robot dick @maggieszi 😂 conleygriffin27Bruh how a robot got a tan line tho? benjijackson_@connnor_____ this dude looks like a bug connnor_____@benjijackson_ digging the boat shoes sweetxpapiOk hold, i think im falling for a fucking robot sweetxpapiWho the hell designed him to be so fine?? kuperduperWhy wouldn’t you have a big robot dick tho hazimahfebriani@sucioph3li4 ini juga suciophelia@hazimahfebriani kyk manusia asli babiiley_U A ROBOT MY DOOD?? t4ylorfox@chlxe1985xo lilseverusnapeNo it’s not it’s a natural plant keep smoking my dude zoe101.nawweed is bad for you , promise me ... it gave me a seizure and someone else i know had a really bad issue with it.. marissanextdoorClearly you’re a real person murphmanmatt11weed 👏🏼 can’t 👏🏼effect👏🏼you👏🏼you’re👏🏼silicon 👏🏼 lrosettal13sockkkkk i_crave_sleep@zoe101.naw then you had something that's laced with something else cause weed can't really do that to a person zoe101.naw@i_crave_sleep lmao no i’ve never smoked laced weed.. it can cause seizures, i listen to the doctors.. uhm not stoned people. i_crave_sleep@zoe101.naw I've listened to doctors too and unless your allergic to it or it's laced it can't cause seizures zoe101.naw@i_crave_sleep fuck off my neurologist says it can. a brain doctor . uneducated shit. zoe101.naw@i_crave_sleep you can’t be allergic to it. your dr is a shit. xeloputxxLo bukan manusia. Fix dunia makin dipengaruhi ole robot, edyaaaannn chi.dipIdk it would probably affect you differently since you don’t have 100% the same chemicals n shit as a human lashesby.shelby@soulkalon but how do robots get tans..... billnyesthirdeyeHow...do...you..have..a..tan...line...?.? aa.visualdiaryUr tanlines sock bteitell@zoe101.naw bruh yo doctor a bitch that fool should be tellin yo dumbass to smoke more you heard? __camille___gLookin like a GTA 5 character thisrulesYou know I had to do it to em fall4.miraI hope you fall in that river _r3dddd_Weed is love cahjalayDo robots tan? meh.tanii@fall4.mira your an ass hole for saying that🤦🏾‍♀️ lexi_achuffWill we ever see your whole face? fall4.mira@meh.tanii bitch you a pussy eater hoe🤚🏽😭 meh.tanii@fall4.mira lmao ain't a hoe and I'm strictly dickley bitch get it right😂👏🏾 fall4.miraDirty ass bitch go lose sum fucking wait wit yo fat ass whore🤦🏽‍♀️ blawkoMe name MAY 30 Instagram Log in|Sign up ABOUT USSUPPORTPRESSAPIJOBSPRIVACYTERMSDIRECTORYPROFILESHASHTAGSLANGUAGE http://www.travelden.co.uk/20-forbidden-destinations-you-can-never-visit?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=referral&utm_term=mobileposse-metroweb&utm_content=115314394&utm_site=mobileposse-metroweb&utm_campaign_item=115314394&utm_campaign=AUCAUS-All-3B France Lascaux Caves in France is home to 600+ Paleolithic paintings which are predicted to be over 20,000 years old. The paintings which cover the walls and ceilings illustrate large animals (stags, cattle, bison and more) and local fuana. Sadly, the caves which once received 1,200 visitors per day is now closed to the public (as of 1963), due an ongoing infestation of microbial and fungal growths within the caves that have left black blemishes. States Area 51 is a highly restricted remote military base in the Nevade Desert which is closely guarded from the public. Conspiracy theorists often claim the purpose of Area 51 is for the storage and examination of alien spacecraft, meetings with extra terrestrials and many other wild theories that often draw links with the Roswell event. The real reason Area 51 exists is still a mystery and remains highly classified. Trying to enter would be irresponsible though since it is surrounded by signs warning that security is authorized to use deadly force on people who insist on trespassing. http://www.travelden.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/area-51-2.jpg Island, India On North Sentinel Island, a small island in the Andaman chain in the Bay of Bengal, natives have long been opposed to the influences of the modern world. In fact, the Sentinelese people who live on the island refuse communication with any outsiders, and are willing to get violent to protect their isolation. Following the 2004 tsunami, when the Indian Coast Guard flew a reconnaissance mission over the island, men reportedly emerged from the forests to shoot arrows at the helicopter, which did not land. The Sentinelese have lived on the island for some 60,000 years, and with the protection of the Indian government — which prohibits visitors of any kind — it has successfully resisted anthropologists, authorities and tourists. TOP HEADLINES When Extreme Fires Become Routine: The Canada Letter   The New Yo… · 4h Canada's 'most racist city' makes a comeback   BBC · 12h La Cañada football has no answer for Santa Paula   Los Angeles Times · 5h CANADA | TWITTER @Canada ·  The late Alex Colville, who was born #OTD in 1920, was a Canadian artist who inspired other artists. Art experts have said that Colville’s influence can be found in a number of films including No Country for Old Men, The Shining, A Serious Man and Moonrise Kingdom. 10 hours ago  · Twitter Looking for the perfect souvenir from your summer vacation in Canada? The @ParksCanadaShop has you covered, and a portion of proceeds enable wildlife research in our National Parks. 🦇🐢 Among the many great products are the famous #RedChairs! 15 hours ago  · Twitter Join us in wishing a very happy 27th Independence Day to our friends in @Ukraine! 20 hours ago  · Twitter RT @CanadianPM: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's statement on Ukrainian Independence Day:ow.ly/3XSB30lxsIK 20 hours ago  · Twitter We're only two weeks and a few final touches away from the Toronto International Film Festival! Get ready for the world of cinema to descend on #6ix for 11 days of movie magic! #TIFF2018 🎬🍿 1 day ago  · Twitter One of Canada’s most decorated athletes will continue to have an impact on Canadian hockey. Congratulations to Hayley Wickenheiser who is joining the Toronto @MapleLeafs as the Assistant Director of Player Development! #NHL 1 day ago  · Twitter See all Canada 2018: Best of CanadaTourism - TripAdvisor https://www.tripadvisor.com/Tourism-g153339-Canada Mobile · Canada Tourism: TripAdvisor has 7,880,510 reviews of Canada Hotels, Attractions, and Restaurants making it your best Canada resource. Vancouver Toronto, Ontario Montreal Quebec City Things to Do Canada Hotels Home - Canada.ca https://www.canada.ca Mobile · Get quick, easy access to all Government of Canada services and information. 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Welcome to DestinationCanada's consumer account. Use #ExploreCanada and we’ll RT our faves. Compte en français: … RELATED SEARCHES top 10 cities in canada canada tourism visitor travel guide official canada travel guide map of canada canada states canadian department of tourism SEE RESULTS FOR Government of Canada The Government of Canada, officially Her Majesty's Go… Next Get Try the Bing app Richmond, Virginia  · Based on your settings · Edit location · Use GPS location PrivacyLegalAdvertiseAd info © 2018 Microsoft https://www.bing.com/search?q=Canada&go=Search&qs=n&form=QBRE&pc=SMSM&sp=-1&pq=canada&sc=5-6&sk=&cvid=A914A106EF3049A18CEE70D9A51CAEB9 http://www.amestrib.com/news/20180824/catching-big-fish8230-3-year-old-from-nevada-nets-muskie-in-canada?template=ampart Catching the big fish… A 3-year-old from Nevada nets a muskie in Canada By Marlys Barker Nevada Journal Posted Aug 24, 2018 at 9:54 AM  Updated Aug 24, 2018 at 10:50 PM Trey Harrison, 3, is shown with his dad, Travis Harrison, and grandpa, Marty Mortvedt, and the 20-plus pound muskie that he hooked while fishing in Canada earlier this month. Contributed photo▲ Austin Mortvedt, front, is Trey Harrison�s uncle, who helped Travis pull the catch in and net it. The three of them are shown on the boat they were on at Lake Ord in Canada when Trey hooked a big muskie in his first-ever time fishing. Contributed photo▲ "There are two types of fisherman — those who fish for sport and those who fish for fish," an anonymous saying goes. Make no mistake about it, 3-year-old Trey Harrison, of rural Nevada, fishes for fish. In fact, on his first-ever fishing outing, which happened this summer, Trey caught a fish that was nearly bigger than him. It's a great story, and one his father, Travis, is happy to tell. It started when the Harrison family — Travis, his wife, Brett, and their two children, Lexi, 5, and Trey — was invited to Canada for a family vacation by Trey's grandpa, Marty Mortvedt, of Nevada. The New York Times Mental Floss Seeking Alpha Global News Inside Pulse Realtor.com Fairbanks Daily News-Miner KOAA 5 Ames Tribune DataBreachToday RESET When Extreme Fires Become Routine: The Can… The New York Ti… · 7h The Republic of Indian Stream: The Forgotten Countr… Mental Floss · 6h Royal Bank Of Canada: Outstanding Quarter - Expect More Seeking Alpha · 5h B.C.’s wildfire smoke isn’t just floating across C… Global News · 43m Fan Expo Canada 2018 Has Exclusive Re-cov… Inside Pulse · 16m 224 Lamour Dr, La Canada Flintridge, CA 91011 Realtor.com · 3h Alaska, northwest of Canada, Fairbanks Daily News-Miner · 16h Fast-growing Montana wildfire forces evacuatio… KOAA 5 · 4h Catching the big fish… A 3-year-old from Nevada net… Ames Tribune · 7h Preparing for Canada's Breach Notification Law DataBreachToday · 1h Fast-Growing Montana Wildfire Forces Evacuations in Canada U.S. News & World Report · 15h 2018 PABCON Senior Championships c… USBC · 11h Henderson trails Yang by 1 in Canada Golf Channel · 11h The Weekly Bottom Line: Canada – Soft End to a Stro… Action Forex · 11h Montréal and Laval award Canada's largest ever battery-electric bus contract to New Fl… Markets Insider · 15h Canada will become the 69th member of the Hague Union related to International Registr… JD Supra · 13h Canada’s CBC names digital chief Rapid TV · 4h Canada 'very encouraged' by progress on US-… thefootballexa… · 11h In Canada Now But Stifled by Smoke Everest · 3h Free Bonus Included - Cialis Canada Din The Community Voice · 9m Canada Pension Plan Investment Board Has $261.… themarketsdaily… · 3h Monetary institution of Canada’s Poloz says fresh inflation jump attributable to transitory comp… Iran Ship · 4h Bret Hart Participates in Special Ceremon… Wrestling news … · 7h Inflation rate's sizzle only temporary blip: B… infotel.ca · 14h Saudi Arabia's Spat with Canada Shows No Signs of Stopping—Now Citizens Can't … Yahoo Finance · 16d Cricket Canada's inaugural T20 league to begin in June ESPNcricinfo · 22d Arab world condemns Canada’s ‘diplomatic failure’ Arab News · 19d Congressman: Canada Guilty Of ‘Economic Terrorism’ The Daily Caller · 29d Canada pushes back and slaps tariffs on U.S. goods from ketchup to pizza Los Angeles Times · 1mon Trump had a chance t https://www.msn.com/en-ca/weather/topstories/bc-e2-80-99s-wildfire-smoke-isn-e2-80-99t-just-floating-across-canada-e2-80-94-it-e2-80-99s-reaching-ireland/ar-BBMpHh7 B.C.’s wildfire smoke isn’t just floating across Canada — it’s reaching Ireland The smoke coming from British Columbia's forests amid a furious wildfire season isn't just reaching into Alberta. Plumes of smoke from the fires are believed to be travelling as far east as Ontario, the Maritimes and beyond — even across the Atlantic Ocean to Ireland. That's according to David Lyder, an air emissions engineer with the Alberta government and one of the minds behind FireSmoke.ca, a website whose animated map shows the probable trajectory of wildfire smoke within North America. "Long-range transport of smoke from wildfires is not uncommon," he told Global News. Lyder brought up one forecast in which smoke travelled from northern Alberta and Saskatchewan, helping to trigger air quality advisories in Washington, D.C. And it isn't just B.C. that sends smoke so far. "We get smoke from Siberia," Lyder said. The map forms one component of theBlueSky Western Canada Wildfire Smoke Forecasting System, a project that first developed in 2007 out of concern about the need for smoke projections to help inform weather forecasters, health authorities and other parties. BlueSky, a software system that uses data to model fire, fuel consumption, weather, emissions and dispersion, was initially developed by the U.S. Forest Service. Data tracking all of these factors is pooled into a system that helps to forecast concentrations of fine particulate matter (PM2.5) — an air pollutant that can have negative effects on human health — from wildfires for up to 48 hours. Canada's BlueSky project uses the very same system, gathering data from theCanadian Wildland Fire Information System. READ MORE: Smoke from B.C. wildfires impacting parts of Saskatchewan The data helps to produce animations that display how PM2.5 concentrations will change over the next couple of days. The map showed some heavy smoke hitting Ontario and lesser plumes travelling as far as Quebec and Labrador on Saturday; it had previously shown smoke hitting the Maritimes. The people behind FireSmoke.ca are careful to note that the map shouldn't necessarily be relied upon in isolation; it's considered "experimental" and there are limitations. Satellite detections, for example, are used to find fires. If areas where fires are burning are covered by clouds or smoke, then the emissions from those blazes won't be included in forecasts. Projections displayed by the map can be supplemented by looking at Canada's Wildfire Smoke Prediction System (FireWork), which provides daily smoke forecasts. Nevertheless, both these modelling systems have shown smoke reaching as far as the Maritimes. FireWork, for example, showed lighter PM2.5 concentrations hitting New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia and Newfoundland this weekend, though other fires are burning further east than B.C. Fine particulate matter is indeed reaching Eastern Canada, "but the concentrations are much lower in the Maritimes than they are in B.C.," said Sarah Henderson, senior environmental health scientist at the B.C. Centre for Disease Control. © THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl DyckThe Shovel Lake wildfire burns near the Nadleh Whut'en First Nation in Fort Fraser, B.C., on Thursday August 23, 2018. There are two components to wildfire smoke: PM2.5 and volatile organic compounds (VOCs). While PM2.5 has been noted for its effects on human health, VOCs have more to do with how smoke interacts with our senses. "VOCs are the things that make our eyes sting and that give smoke that campfire smell," Henderson said. "They're not super risky, but they are irritating." VOCs also dissipate as smoke travels. "The volatiles from the smoke are gone by the time they get to the east," Henderson said. John Clague, a professor of earth sciences at Simon Fraser University, said satellite tracking of smoke has shown that heavy concentrations of particles have been carried from B.C. and California to locations thousands of kilometres to the east. "I would say, however, that the duration of the exposure is limited," he said. While the physical effects of smoke are less pronounced by the time it travels such great distances, that doesn't make it harmless. Concentrations may be lower, but the fine matter is still there. "Wherever it gets to, if smoke gets there, it carries with it some risk," said Henderson. Still, "we would expect that smoke from B.C. may have a small impact on health in eastern parts of Canada, if and when it arrives there," she added. 12:03 pm. I thought it was worth telling that the devil has been doing some attacking yesterday n today. It has been really bad. It's not been as i can remember any or much weariness. I may have taken off my shirt yesterday n been getting hot at a point. I was. But it didn't get bad at that point. The air was off since it seemed cooler out but it seemed hot at a point before i opened the window. A break here. But the devil has been obsessing extremely bad -- "Maybe tell not about her. But that's not what I want here," the devil said n it seemed it was being fake but then it does the attacking for apparently some reason, so it's weird it's deflecting to something it's not said was the reason thus far. But I was saying maybe it was doing the thing I'm about to tell about in order to press i cannot tell some things about Karla if she acts strange, which she does do some things that are supposed to indicate she is not normal now further than previously apparently. She puts the hand held blender not on the area to put wet dishes etc like she normally would, it's a towel on the counter, i put it there, the towel. But it's been excruciating that the devil is pressing the stuff about things being dirty etc. It presses now I'm touching my shirt w my hand that i have not yet wiped myself w as im using the bathroom but my hands are supposed to seem dirty etc. "I'm something that can't do that anymore cuz something will happen that km doing it," the devil said. But it does stuff like this. It's going crazy w my memory for did I wash my hands after I ate something or did something in the