#1. HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU DO COMMISSIONS STUFF

[some-bunniii]

Lucifer meeting an artist reader

・❥ The King of Hell admires your paintings

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

x: reader is g/n :) no use of pronouns or y/n

warnings: some raunchy details of your painting & mild swearing

When you arrived in Hell, the first thing you did was scream.

Where were you? Why was it so hot? What happened to your bed?!

“You’re in Hell, kid.” A blue bat-faced man had broke the news, as you stood helpless and confused on the street.

Hell? Like, demons and dark satanic magic kind of Hell?

That couldn’t be right. Were you that bad of a person to deserve such a fate? Did the few times you passed the Salvation Army donation bucket without dropping a coin damn you to this place?

Your death was fuzzy, a trail of shattered memories that could only give you bits and pieces of your final days. Did you go quickly in your sleep? Maybe, you hit your head so hard it caused you some kind of post-death amnesia?

Whatever had happened, you were here now with no way out.

During your first few days scouring for answers, you began to notice that Hell had an eerie similarity to life above ground. There were clubs, casinos, concerts. Heck, even TV! Sure, the things broadcasted were dark and sometimes disgusting.. but at least you had something to watch.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all? At least, compared to being thrown into dark, fiery pits for all of eternity like some cruel game of sink or swim.

Minus the people, of course. Most of them were pretty bad. Your first day watching a man get shot in the chest and lines of cocaine across tables in a diner made you decide to stay away from the streets of the city.

Which meant you had to get busy making a life for yourself. It started with working odd jobs as a bartender or a bell-hopper. You’d scrap together enough money to head to the nearest art supply store, and fill your bag with paints and charcoal pencils.

“You an artist or something?” The clerk had asked you as she scanned your items, taking note of your vast amount of diverse tools you were slowly collecting every time you stopped by.

“I usually paint, but yes, I used to do all kinds of mediums professionally when I was.. alive,” You had whispered that last part out with a pang of sadness, the reality of your situation still a fresh wound in your mind.

You had found an ad for an art studio, ran by a demon named Alexandre. You had showed him a few of your pieces, some pretty landscapes, a rendition of the Starry Night Sky which you had replaced the backdrop to be Pentagram city instead of whatever little village it was originally, and a self portrait.

“You got talent, i’ll give you that,” He had hummed, as his eyes scanned your paintings with intrigue, “But the subject? Not really what we’re looking for.”

“What do you mean?” You had asked, confusion evident in your voice.

“We’re in Hell, demons ain’t into pretty ponies and happy, little trees. They want more— eh how do i put this — sinful behavior?”

“Like…?”

“Like tits or anything that can be turned into a kink. They like blood and guts, and dead people splayed around. Dead angels too. Stuff like that.”

Tits? Dead people? You didn’t have much practice with that! At least not enough to make a career out of it.

But you had agreed anyway, this was your only shot. You stayed up late into the night, sometimes even into the early mornings, perfecting your skill when it came to much more risqué visuals. You would buy stacks of pornograohic magazines, flipping through for poses to memorize.

Slowly, you began to master the craft, and your time at the studio increased as you finally settled into life in Hell.

All you had to do was churn out painting after pastel after acrylic in the little cramped room you now called home. Alexandre would then take your pieces and sell them to the highest bidder. You’d get a percentage of the commission, using the money for whatever necessary.

Seeing as you could be mugged at literally any point in time, or anywhere for that matter, you made sure to keep a large sum of cash locked away in a double-bolted safe.

“You know Ozzie’s, that club down in the Lust Ring?” Alexandre had approached you one day, excitement in his eyes.

You shook your head as you sat behind the easel, your brush an inch from the canvas.

“Run by Asmodeus, one of the literal seven deadly sins?”

You shook your head once more.

“Fuck, you still have a lot to learn. Well, he really likes your art. He wants to buy a bunch of paintings for his club, and he’ll drop a shit ton of cash too. Ya think you can handle it?”

Your eyes had widened when he told you the exact price this sin guy was willing to pay. You had jumped from your seat, shaking his hand in profuse thanks, before scurrying off to gather more supplies.

And for a time, that’s how it went. You’d sell your steamiest paintings to Asmodeus, and other private commissions you took one after the other.

Apparently, your painting hung up in Ozzie’s was getting a lot of attention. Especially from a certain spider demon named Angel Dust.

After hearing Charlie’s decision to look for another member of their staff— someone who’d be in charge of decorating the premise with promises of love and tranquility up in Heaven— Angel Dust had taken a few snaps of your work with his phone, before showing it to Vaggie and Charlie. He had complimented your work, claiming it was ‘the best’ oil paintings he’d ever seen.

Although, in his line of work, he probably hadn’t seen many to compare yours so.

“ls this what we want in our hotel?" Vaggie had asked, motioning to a woman on the canvas that was drenched in sweat and white fluid, her private parts exposed to the audience as she posed suggestively on a stripper pole.

To which Charlie has responded, "I think it's... unique! You can definitely see she knows how to, um, really bring the scene to life! l'm sure she'll be open to creating our vision!"

Your phone had rung one night, with a voice on the other end begging you to come to her hotel and at least hear her offer for a new job.

Which lead you to the Hazbin Hotel, a slightly run down building that obviously needed more work. Inside and out.

“Oh my gosh! Hi there! My name is Charlie, and this is my hotel! it’s such a pleasure to meet you!”

“Thanks.. but I don’t see many guests around.” You had told her, your eyes darting around the lobby as you absorbed your surroundings.

“Well, we’re still trying to get our name out there. We’re not just any hotel, we’re a hotel set on redeeming sinners!” She exclaimed with pride.

“Redeem?” You had asked her, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

She shook her head vigorously, “This hotel.. it’s going to be amazing! We’re going to turn Sinners into well.. non-sinners! They’ll be rehabilitated, and have morals! And honor! Heaven won’t be able to do anything but welcome them as angels!”

This idea had sounded a little far-fetched when you first heard it.

“You’ll be in charge of making art that reflects such views! Something that will make Sinners go, ‘Wow! Now that’s where I want to go!’”

“What’s in it for me?” You had asked.

“Well you’ll have your own room, and your own little studio too! I’m sure it’s much bigger than the one you already have. Plus we have a bar, and good company!”

You turned your head to the small crowd of demons a few feet away. A pornstar, a gambler, a snake guy with weird little walking eggs, and a really creepy man in a red coat that shot you a wide smile with eyes that seemed to stare right through your soul.

This was good company?

You contemplated her words, thinking deeply. Did you really need to leave the studio you were already a part of? You already had a room and place to paint, anyway.

Charlie must have noticed your hesitation to accept before quickly adding,

“Anddd you can sell your pieces here too! Plus, you can keep a hundred percent of the earnings.”

You perked up at that, the money made from your art would be... all yours? And, you’d get a breather from the drawing people having sex? That didn’t sound so bad after all!

“Deal!” You had reached out a hand, shaking hers with delight.

It had taken you a day or two to map out the interior of the hotel and figure out what could go where. You began to slowly brainstorm, what could make a sinner stare at a canvas and want to redeem themselves?

During your time on earth, you studied many artists through history. Most notably however, were those from the Renaissance. You remembered walking through the Sistine Chapel when you were younger,

staring at awe of the paintings of winged angels and heavenly skies.

You perked at that thought. That was it! The inspiration for your paintings, an ethereal perspective on what one would find in heaven. The feelings of bliss and care-free joy.

You spent your first few days in an undisturbed area of the hotel, it was a large room on the farthest side of the lobby. It must’ve been a guest room at one point, but other than a bed and few cushions that the ‘Radio Demon’ had placed for you, it was empty.

It was quiet enough that you could sit there, undisturbed, as you drew upon your memories and vast knowledge of histories in art as you slowly began to bring your ideas to life. Slowly, the room also took form into being yours, personal knick-knacks and stacks upon stacks of blank canvases waiting to bring your visions to life.

At the end of every day, you'd come out with your hands covered in charcoal and paint, your hard work on full display.

You had even grown closer to the other residents in the hotel, beginning to see them as more than their initial appearance. Even Alastor, who still kind of gave you the creeps, you had regarded as someone you could speak to without hesitation.

You’d sit on the couches with Angel Dust, drowning in popcorn as you watched whatever was on TV for the night. Sometimes, you’d sit with Husk at the bar as you listened to his stories from his days at the casino and as an Overlord.

It was there, when Charlie had summoned the courage to call her father, Lucifer, the King of Hell, to come visit the hotel and decide on getting her that meeting with the higher powers in Heaven.

Upon hearing about Lucifer's impending visit, you felta mixture of nerves and excitement. You've heardstories about him-his charisma, his power--but you never expected to meet him, let alone showcase your art to him. Would he even like them? He's no doubt seen much more beautiful sights.

As preparations for Lucifer's visit got more chaotic by the minute, you found yourself back in your Atelier, quickly cleaning up your room and berating yourself for any little mistakes you found in your paintings. Each stroke of the brush carried with it a sense of urgency, a desire to impress not just your friends at the hotel, but also the King of Hell himself.

The current piece you were working on was your most intense one yet. It depicted that of an almost nude man, flying high in the skies. His back was faced towards you, his face hidden from view. He was faced towards the sun, which bathed him in a warm glow. Arms outstretched, knees curled in, it seemed as if the angel was going to give the sun a large bear-hug.

It wasn’t until you heard loud commotion in the lobby did you realize Lucifer had arrived. Quickly dropping the brush you were holding, you sneaked down the stairs and quickly neared the archway of the lobby.

Peaking your head out, you canned the large room. Until your eyes locked in a pale figure. Lucifer.

He was beautiful, definitely held the looks of an angel that fell from heaven. His light blonde hair curled elegantly around his face. The candles from the chandelier above basked him in an ethereal glow, as though he could replace the sun itself. Just like the angel from your painting.

His eyes reminded you mostly of a snake. Calculating and cold, but holding so much wisdom and depth. There was a slight sadness there as well, as though itate at him slowly, consuming his soul. It was masked incredibly well though, and you only caught a glimpse before it disappeared.

His attitude toward his daughter made your heartmelt, it was obvious he cared about her in the way heacted and spoke to Charlie, even if his absence didn't speak so fondly of him.

As Lucifer and Alastor butted heads, you quickly scurried back to your room. You had hoped to finish your work-in-progress by the time he arrived, but the struggle to get those damn angel wings to be anatomically correct was a pain.

You hurriedly continued your work, trying to calm your nerves by busying yourself with the painting in front of you.

Charlie's voice broke you out of your concentration soon after, multiple footsteps closing in on where your room lay. You shot up from your seat, and stood up straight, ready to meet the man of the hour.

You couldn't help but feel a flutter of anticipation mixed with apprehension as they approached your make-shift gallery.

Charlie, Vaggie, and— wow, he looked so much better up close— Lucifer stepped through the doorway.

“Dad, this is the newest addition to our staff! They are in charge of helping to inspire our future guests through the power of art!" Charlie proclaimed with glee, pulling you by the arm towards her father.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, your majesty. I apologize for being so messy, I was just finishing up another painting." You had greeted him softly.

"Don't worry, you look great," He assured, a gleam in his eyes, "and the pleasure is all mine, anyone who is willing to help my little girl is someone worth meeting,"

You stood there for a moment. Unsure of where to go next, before you felt a slight nudge from Charlie that pulled you back to reality, "Why don't we take a look at your paintings? I promise you, Dad, they are amazing!" She squealed softly.

Beckoning Lucifer forward, you took him through each painting. You described your feelings for each piece, and what made you choose them for the hotel.

You rambled on and on, and Lucifer never said anything, he just listened as you spoke.

Which made you nervous, what was he thinking? Did he like them, or was he just waiting for you to stop talking so he could quickly escape to something of more interest to him? The thought made sweat dribble down your forehead.

To your surprise, Lucifer's reaction to your art was not what you expected. Instead of dismissing it as mere frivolity, he studied each piece with genuine interest, his expression thoughtful and contemplative.

He mostly stayed quiet, but once in awhile would throw in a joke here and there if he noticed anything of interest in the paintings.

His goofy nature that you caught onto watching him earlier was barely evident though, unlike when he was trying to impress his daughter.

After finishing the small tour, you turned to him in anticipation. Your hands nervously rubbing together, as you shot a glance to Charlie, and she gave you an uncertain look. You both held the same question in your gaze: What is he thinking?

"These paintings.." Lucifer began, his voice low and melodic, "Are different than most i've seen down here, not just some scandalous display, but with real meaning. They evoke emotions long buried, memories of a time before.. all this."

His words caught you off guard, and you found yourself nodding in agreement, unable to tear your gaze away from his intense eyes.

The one he was staring at in particular was a recreation of The Garden of Eden by Jan Breghal, a painting that depicted the place where humanity was birthed, and where it fell.

“Does it look like.. how you remembered?" You had asked slowly, if anyone could validate the truth in your work, it would be him.

"Actually, this is much prettier. The real deal doesn't do your painting justice," He replied, "It was so boring, just green on green."

Also," He added, "An unfortunate lack of ducks. Humanity should be grateful that I got them out of that forest, so they could see something actually worthwhile.. and with ducks."

You giggled softly at his words, have you ever met someone that seemed to love ducks as much as him?

As Lucifer continued to explore the room, you couldn’t help but notice the way he lingered on certain paintings, his fingers tracing the delicate lines with reverence. It was as if he saw something in your art that no one else did, something profound and personal.

Perhaps your choice of baby-faced angels, and ethereal landscapes brought back memories of his time in Heaven. Hopefully, that wasn't a bad thing.

When Lucifer finally turned to you, his gaze softened, a hint of something unreadable lurking beneath the surface. "You have a rare gift," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "To create beauty in a place like this... it's truly remarkable."

He looked at you for a moment, before a smile crept onto his lips. He was Lucifer, he knew exactly what you meant. It's what drove him to manipulate Eve to eat from the Tree of Life in the first place.

Was he finally getting a glimpse of the good free will brought to humanity? Was there actually meaning in his past actions that sent him to the depths of Hell?

His gaze narrowed in on the canvas behind you, and he slipped past you. "What is this?" He asked with intrigue, pointing towards your unfinished painting.

“My final piece. I've been working on it for days, but I just can't get the wings right.. believe it or not, i've never actually seen angel wings in person." You said that last bit as a joke.

His smile sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach. For the King of Hell, it was surprisingly warm, and kind.

Then an idea struck you, but you tried to desperately to push it down. Except it seemed like the only time you could ask someone with angel wings to let you use them as a reference. How many fallen angels were in Hell, anyway?

"I'm so sorry if this is out of line, but. could I, um, borrow you for a little bit? I've just been having trouble drawing the wings correctly and you, well, have them?”

His eyes widened, and his chest puffed slightly at your question. He shot you a toothy grin, “Paint me? Why didn't you mention that earlier?! I have the perfect figure for such a thing.”

Behind him, Charlie rolled her eyes, a hint of a smile on her lips. You smiled too, you should've known he'd have no problem with it, he was the embodiment of pride after all.

He plopped down on a stool before you, and removed his overcoat. Beneath what seemed to be a red and white gatsby vest that hugged his frame perfectly. Jeez, he was almost too good looking.

He stretched out his large wings, folding the otherfour behind him, only revealing the two much largerones. They were breathtaking, truly. They looked so fluffy too!

You guided him on the exact position you needed them to be in, before making your way to the canvas and getting to work.

Assuring the group you only needed to get a visual on the canvas, the actual work you would do on your own. Slowly, you traced the frame of his wings, etching out the soft lines of his feathers and the curvatures of its form.

You could only imagine how soft those feathers were and what it would be like to curl around them like a pillo-

You shook your head to rid those thoughts. Why were you thinking such things about Lucifer like that? It's not like he would even want to let you go anywhere near him or his wings.

Would he?

You continued your painting, trying not to meet his gaze as you would occasionally peak your head from behind the large canvas to get another good look at his wings.

There was a moment when you two did lock eyes, and he sent a half-lidded smirk in your direction. Thankfully the large object between you two helped hide your growing blush. He was obviously just trying to get you worked up, you assured yourself. Just like he did with Alastor. In a different way, of course.

"This reminds me of when Charlie was younger" Lucifer began, filling the silence, "We sat for a good few hours trying to get a family portrait painted and she would just not sit still!”

“Dad.. please, not right now." Charlie growled out in embarrassment, her cheeks flushed. Vaggie only smiled beside her, listening intently as Lucifer filled everyone in on her younger years.

“lt got to the point where I had to summon her favorite toy to get her to stop squirming, everything was smooth sailing after that.

"And what was her favorite toy?" You inquired softly behind the canvas

“A rubber duck! Like the ones you play with in the bath? She could not get enough of it whenever it squeaked. One time the squeaker broke, and I went to my workshop and crafted her a magical one that meowed instead! Haha!"

Okay, this family really has a thing for ducks!

“She hated it, but that only inspired me to keep making more. Sometimes, we'd sit together on the work bench, and I would just come up with ideas like confetti-spitting, or color changing ducks. She wasn't too good at speaking at that time, so every time she'd laugh that was my clue that she liked it!"

It was sweet, the way he rambled about his daughter. He never spoke of himself or his accomplishments, despite embodying the sin of pride. It was almost like his only pride was his best creation, Charlie.

He continued, the room full of jokes and laughter, even from Vaggie, regarding Charlie's life as a youngling. You listened intently to his stories, his voice dripping with amusement as he recounted story after story.

lt was so sappy and you loved it. Which made you grumble quietly to yourself, why did you have to have a thing for DILFS?! Concentrate on the painting!

After a moment, Lucifer's eyes turned back to the paintings around him, his gaze scanning each painting once more. "I've noticed that you seem to have a repetition in your work.. not that that's a bad thing!" He quickly corrected.

“But in all of your paintings featuring angels, there's always a swan swimming or resting nearby. Do they hold any significance, or are they just a passion for you?"

You looked up from the canvas, and also traced the angelic figures across the room. He was right, with the images of the divine beings also came the appearance of the large, white water fowl. Lying lazily beside the angels, or swimming across pools of water as the care-free beings danced and frolicked.

You contemplated for a moment, before speaking truthfully.

“I just think Swans are elegant and ethereal creatures. They embody the purest of souls, untouched by the taint of sin that consumes the world, just like how their feathers remain untouched from the waters they glide on"

Lucifer's eyes lit up slightly, drinking up your words.

“Plus," You continue, "they mate for life, and allow themselves to just.. decay once their significant other departs from the world. It's very romantic, and love is one of the purest emotions in the world."

Lucifer wasn't looking at you when your eyes met his again, his stare was far off. Past the room entirely, as your words echoed through him. There it was again, the glimpse of sadness that he tried to hide so painfully well.

“Does such love like that exist?," he murmured so softly you had to strain your ears.

There was a few moments of deathly silence before Charlie piped up, asking her father something about heaven. You tried to listen, but your mind was stuck on his words. Lucifer was in heaven once, and he still didn't fully believe in such things?

If there weren't others in the room, perhaps you would’ve asked him.

It took a few more minutes before you were able to wrap up fully, but you had no regrets of asking this man for help, the angel on the canvas actually looked like he had wings, not just stumps of white tuft.

You got up from your seat and walked towards him, noticing that Charlie and her girlfriend were not present anymore. It was just you and Lucifer in theroom now.

“Well, thank you, Your Majesty. You really helped me out here, and it'll go a long way to make the hotel look even better"

“Please, call me Lucifer. The formalities are only for subjects, not friends," he replied, "l did really enjoy getting to see your paintings, you are quite a phenomenal artist. I wasn't lying when I said your work was different from the rest. If only you were around for those family portraits."

You were so taken aback by his praise that you only shrugged it off, like it was no big deal. Even though, coming from the King of Hell, it was.

Glancing behind him, you saw Charlie and Vaggie whispering to each other in the hallway outside of the door. You assumed they probably wanted to finish up so they could get him to agree to the meeting with Heaven.

lgnoring his previous statement of formalities— he was the king, you thought, you weren't going to just pat him on the back and say 'see ya! —you lowered your head and bent down to curtsy, just like you were taught when you were younger, placing your hand slightly in front of you.

Usually, you'd use that hand to shake or grasp the other person's, but it felt wrong to treat this powerful angel like any other man.

Suddenly, you felt the soft touch of fingers gliding across your hand. In confusion, you looked up at those golden eyes and that charming smile. Trying to get a glimpse of what he was thinking.

His hand gripped yours gently, and with a bow of his own, lowered his lips, and pressed a soft kiss your knuckles.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you feared to blink, soaking in his beauty for as long as you could before he had the chance to pull away. You wanted to say something, but your tongue was refusing to work as your mouth opened and closed silently.

When he finally released your hand, he adjusted his hat and turned towards the door. Leaving you standing there, your face burning hot

He cleared his throat, and turned his head slightly, his eye catching yours. A playful smile dancing on his lips.

“l look forward to our next portrait together, hopefully where I am the motivation behind your strokes. Not just these dull wings."

And with his words hanging in the air, you were left alone, with the growing itch to press your face into a pillow and squeal.

——————

awww man, my first fic! I was trying to make this more dating-centric, but i couldn’t stop writing for their first meeting and it got too long haha! If y’all like this one enough, i’ll make a dating version!

let me know what you think 🙏 i reallyyyy appreciate all comments and criticisms!!

wonderful art i commissioned by DawnDrawnS on twitter! <3

[genericpuff]

Turns out it's been a while since I've talked about Rachel's medical fetish art so it came as a shock to people when I mentioned it in the last post (I've got quite a few asks about it lmao) So I'm gonna enlighten y'all real quick on what I'm referring to, and yes, it's probably exactly what you're thinking of when you hear the word 'medical fetish'.

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF MEDICAL FETISH ART AND DEPICTIONS OF NEEDLES!!!!

So the name "used_bandaid" is one Rachel started using back in the early to mid 2000's. She went by a LOT of different pennames back then, including but probably not limited to:

Pepper_maid

madame_issue

Usedbandaid/used_bandaid

Rach Alex

Rachel Royale

Raquel

Medical Tophat/Medical_Tophat

Frill_house

Gingerbreadcoffin (? this one's kinda weird because the link itself with this username just goes back to her used bandaid MySpace account , so idk if she ever actually used it or if it was even affiliated with her lol)

Now you're probably about to ask, "Puff, how do you know these are all her?" and that's because Rachel still had all of these accounts interlinked through her projects, primarily The Doctor Pepper Show. She seemed to change up usernames often just for the hell of it.

Anyways. I'm not gonna show much of it here because I do think it's better to leave certain things in the past, but there's a LOT of her old work that implies the stuff that's questionable/problematic in LO has always been a part of her identity as an artist (DDLG, hot pink self-insert MC, etc.)

One such example is "madame issue":

This is such a 3-in-1 smoking gun for everything we see in LO. The reference to bandaids (see: used bandaid, which was part of her URL slug for her old flickr where this drawing comes from), the hot pink color palette, and of course, the fact that this character is almost DEFINITELY a self-insert of Rachel, thanks to that shared name.

She's also stated in old commission/print posts that Madame Issue was the one print she wouldn't sell.

She doesn't explicitly say why but I think it's pretty safe to assume it's because Madame Issue is her.

We also have Eva, "the queen of medical fetish". And the tags are... pretty self-explanatory.

That said, that's as much as I'm gonna go into with her old art, because a lot of it does get quite personal with her and I don't really think it accomplishes much more to continue digging up old skeletons, at least not unless they can be seen as parallel to LO (which some of them are and I'll likely be sharing more of those ones in a later post).

That said, there ARE still pages that are accessible without the use of the Wayback Machine that advertise her as a medical fetish artist without the need for extensive digging. If you search up The Doctor Pepper Show on Google, you'll actually find a reddit thread asking what happened to Rachel's old work, and there are comments with loads of resources to access her pre-LO content. You'll also find the listing for The Doctor Pepper Show on The Webcomic List, which literally describes it as a medical fetish comic: "This is a comic set in a world where evil doctors rule, girls wear frilly underpants and people use their manners. *May I please blow your f**king head off?* This comic features Gothic dandys, EGL (Gothic lolitas) and medical fetish fashion. (Neo victorian setting)"

I'll let y'all do your own digging from here, there's a LOT to unpack honestly and while I can't keep you from doing your own research, practice due diligence with what you choose to share. Again, I don't think it's a crime in and of itself for Rachel to want to distance herself from her past as a medical fetish artist, so I think it's only really relevant to show the things that are clearly still influencing LO (like her love for the movie Lolita or the very clear sexualization of youthfulness). While we can try to leave the past where it is, she does still write LO with a lot of the most problematic features of her former identity, and it makes it all the more bizarre that if she is trying to distance herself from it all, then why would she stick with one of the pennames that's the most easily tied back to medical fetishism?

TL ; DR: Rachel started off online with medical fetish and gothic lolita art (at least as far back as we can trace it) and elements of that past are still present in LO today. Use that info responsibly lol

[s4ndg3m]

COMMISSIONS! FROM ME! YAY!

Status: Open!

okay, gonna start this with.. i have no idea how to make a comms info post. i was going to try and make a carrd but it's... a lot! so, under the cut, i'll have some examples and prices and some info on what to expect! (LONG POST) (YE BE WARNED)

Rules! (and some general info)

because we need that

Don't haggle with me. I'm not selling you old furniture, you're paying me for my time and effort.

For smaller commissions, I require pay up-front

Larger commissions (over $30) can be paid half up-front, and half later. For both ours' insurance!

I can do cashapp, zelle, or paypal.

Time taken on each piece will vary, of course, and I can give you an estimate when we hash out details. I can provide updates as well! Don't be afraid to check in whenever! I won't feel rushed or hassled if you just want to know how progress is :)

If you have literally ANY questions. ANY OF THEM. at all. just message me. Even if you're not sure if you want to commission, or don't intend to at the moment. Have a curiosity? My dms are open, friend. And my ask box too, if you'd rather. I'm so open to questions it's unbelievable. I am almost begging you to ask... If you have something to ask.

YAY / NAY / MAY(or, what i will and won't do)

YAY!

Furries

Humans

Roblox avatars/characters

Fandom

Oc

Light/medium mech

Ships (including selfship)

Suggestive

(Artistic) nudity

Multiple characters

Whatever's not on my "no" list! Please please just message me and ask if you're unsure. Even if you're not sure about commissioning and just want to see if it would be possible! I won't bite, I promise. :)

NAY!

Nsfw

Fetish (even if not explicit)

Heavy mech

Heavy gore

Anything proship/comship/whatever the hell they're calling it. NO KID DIDDLING! OR INCEST!

Anything vivziepop related. I don't like her or anything that she makes.

Celebrities (actors in a role, sure, but just the guy? the plain dude? just some guy on our earth who works a job? a real person with a life? no.)

MAY! (or, things I'm on the fence abt)

Horror

Minor gore

Large scenes (not my strongest skillset)

Whatever! I'm okay with stepping outside of my artistic comfort zone, so long as you're okay with the result varying in quality (and possibly taking longer, depending on what you ask for) Again, and I CANNOT say this enough, JUST ASK ME!!

WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER!

Okay, so, as shown here, for a standard commission i'll have 3 sizes, along with 4 stages of completion.

The stages are sketch, line art, flat colors, and render (shading/lighting)! sketch is the cheapest, and render is the most expensive. I'll list some prices for each size below :3

Head

Sketch - $5

Line art - $7

Colors - $10

Render - $15

Half

Sketch - $10

Line art - $15

Colors - $20

Render - $25

Full body

Sketch - $20

Line art - $25

Colors - $30

Render - $50

Add-ons!

Background (any commission automatically comes with a simple one, free, to be pictured in examples) - $15

Extra character - $7-$20 depending on what you're getting! just ask

COMPLEX object (like a weapon) (simpler ones r free) - $5-$10 (again, depending. just ask)

Anything that would take me more time and effort than usual, really. Time and effort is what you're paying for! I try to keep most of these pretty cheap, cus you're already paying for the drawing itself lol. Just ask if you're unsure.

Other kinds of stuff I'll do!

Icons! (or emojis, they're very similar)

These are basically just the head w/ colors, so $10 If you want an emoji set (or icon set, i guess?) it'll be +$5 for each additional one!

Reference sheets!

These are fun to make! They'll include 2/3 full-body shots of your character (front, side, and/or back), 1 head shot, flat colors, and some spaces for info! You can add in the info yourself, or have me add it in for you (no additional cost). They'll run you around $50 (however, you can add/take away stuff to change the price.)

Character page!

I will just. draw the character a bunch of times. $30 base price (sketch quality) can go up to $70 if you want them VERY spruced up (full render)

FINALLY. What we've all been waiting for... Examples!

These are fullbodies! (with their categories and prices in alt) (First is a commission of one of my friends ocs, last one is moff, @/sneablebeable 's character!)

these are rendered pieces w/ backgrounds! (though pokémon like these, I would consider chibi, making them a slightly lesser price.)

Reference sheets! Highly customizable, these are 2 I did for art fight a lil while ago :)

sketches! (with complex background, with extra character) For these, I can include basic values to help with composition, but usually done just cus i feel like it. (no extra charge if I do).

Half body (in the style of a valentines card)

Icons!

Thanks for considering me! or... just checking this out! reading this far! whatever!

[solarpunkani]

this is a personal vent but its a somewhat anti-capitalist/anti-grind culture vent so its going here but like

I wish I could have one (1) hobby that just stays a hobby and remains a fun lil heehee hobby without one or both parents desperately trying to get me to monetize it.

Like I am JUST learning crochet. I have been crocheting for less than a MONTH. I have ONE finished project. And my mom is ALREADY sending me lil instagram reels like 'heehee this is how much I made from my ~crocheting business~ in the month of October' and sending me a bunch of eyes emojis and dollarsign eyes emojis like, first off my beloved mother that woman has been crocheting for YEARS maybe even DECADES and I just picked it up three tuesdays ago, but second of all I don't necessarily wanna just make a buncha shit and then sell it online!!! I wanna make stuff for me and maybe friends and family if they ask really nicely, but nooooo now mom wants me to Perfect the Craft so I can sell on etsy and instagram and whatever.

This would be a Mild Annoyance if this wasn't simply the first in a long string of 'what if you monetized this hobby.' Which, granted, sometimes I do it to myself, but I'm really trying to stop.

Oh you like gardening? What if you monetized it! Sell vegetables at the farmers market! Sell cut flowers at the farmers market! Start your own small business! What do you mean, you mostly do it for personal enjoyment and environmental reasons? Just grow a bigass plot of zinnias, forget about your other stuff, and sell sell sell!!!

Oh, you like creative writing? You like writing novels and short stories and fanfics?? Go be a copywriter! Go be an adjunct professor, because you're totally qualified! What? You don't wanna write manuals and advertisements? But you're such a good writer, go make money off of it!

Oh you wanna learn sewing?! Learn sewing!! Quickly!! Not for your own personal enjoyment of the craft, I'm gonna start a business selling bags and YOU"RE gonna help me!!! I'm not asking permission btw this is me telling you--

Don't even get me started on the absolute slog that has been trying to become an animator and selling art commissions because I like drawing and animating and how that's been going for me, or the fact that my mom seems to think Masters Degree in Animation = Qualified Graphic Designer, which is not the same thing.

It's just exhausting. I would like to be allowed to have one hobby that doesn't immediately read as dollar signs in my parents eyes, yknow?

anyways capitalism grind culture is a hell scape thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[iheartmomochi]

Dear Vocalist Momochi O•SHI•GO•TO ＼Back Stage!!!／ Translation

Important: as always i DID NOT make this translation. I commissioned currytantou on twitter, so all credit goes to them! I 10000% recommend you also commission them if you want a jpn -> eng translation! I always say that but seriously commission them, they're amazing!! And please do not repost this translation anywhere or use it for re-translations into another language (i've seen some people do this please just don't. it's not that hard to respect the wishes of the og translator)

You can listen to the cd here

0:02

Ahh, I’m excited to reach Okinawa! Not to mention we’re doing a special pin-up photograph session with Veronica! Oh, but the shooting will be tomorrow, right? That means we have half a day for ourselves once we touchdown. Yay!

0:24

Hey, where do you wanna go? Since you troubled yourself and tagged along, I should at least bring you wherever you want to when I’m free. Think of somewhere nice. Hehe! Oh? The announcement just now is for us, no? Let’s go then. Give me your luggage. I’ll carry it for you. Anyway, don’t you think it’s unusually packed in Haneda today? I see. It's the morning of a weekday after all. Right, everyone’s wearing suits on their way to work. Everyone’s working hard.

Let us go to our room for a bit, alright? Hehe! Guys, don’t drink too much, okay? See you tomorrow then.

1:36

Hurry and open up already. The luggage’s heavy, y’know? Ugh, I’m so tired. Actually this hotel takes so long just for us to check in. How is that even possible?

Huh?? So dirty! What’s up with this room? Did they actually clean it up? Am I supposed to spend two nights at a place like this? What the hell. Anyway, why do I have to take today’s flight if the shooting’s tomorrow? Not to mention a flight that early! Can’t it be night instead? Don’t get me started with the economy seat. I gotta deal with the public attention so at least get me a private lounge. Just how stingy could they be?

2:35

Actually, they promised something nice like a tropical resort and stuff but Okinawa of all places? If it’s a special photoshoot, shouldn’t it usually be Bali or Hawaii? That Panda guy always brings me some shitty gigs. What the heck, really? Well, yeah sure. I’m not going to be in this magazine again anyway.

Huh? Where’s the ashtray? None? Why? Huh? No smoking? Seriously! Unbelievable! What’s the staff doing? They’re not here? Shouldn’t they stay? Ah, I can’t deal with this anymore!

3:38

Huh? Who cares about shoes? This place is so dirty anyway. Nope. I wanna go back to Tokyo right away! Just how stupid can you be? I said I’m tired, didn’t I? And you can suggest going out now? We’ve come this far and you’re saying we should look for a smoking spot? If I have that energy, I’ve looked for that place ages ago. Whatever. I’m smoking here. You go buy canned juice or something. I’ll use that as an ashtray. Hurry up. You drink that ‘cus I don’t need the juice. Also, can you buy something for me to drink? Get me something Okinawa-ish while you’re at it? Right. Get me some seawater. The one in a plastic bottle. See you~

4:44

Oh, you’re late. How long are you gonna make me wait? Huh, this? Canned beer that I found in the fridge. I threw the insides because you took so long. Ahhh. What a waste. Ugh anyway. Why is this bed so hard? I just lied a bit and my back’s already hurting so much. No way I can sleep. This sucks, seriously.

Huh?! Shut up. I just gotta be careful and make sure to not drop the ash. Actually, can you not order me around? Who do you think you are? Hmm. Another excuse. Now you come here..! Hey. I said I’m in the worst mood ever, right? Do you know for what reason did I bring you along using my own money? For you to fix when we’re in this kind of situation. And yet, I’m feeling even worse thanks to you. What are you gonna do? Hey. Do something now. It’s your fault anyway. So of course you have to do it, right? Come on!

6:40

Alright, what shall we do today? Hehe! For now, will you take that off now? That’s been bothering me since this morning. Have you always had this dress? Don’t tell me you bought it to wear in Okinawa? Showing that much skin when band members and the staff are around. What are you thinking? Come on. I said take it off. Can’t do it yourself? In that case...Hm? What smell is this? The cigar’s smoke! Wa- You! Water, water! Bring it quick! Huh?! The bed cover’s burning! He- Someone?! Whatever can do, just be qu- Ah. You’re right. The fire’s gone. But hey..! Most of it was splashed on me! I bet that was on purpose! Right?! I can’t let you go today. Just a punishment won’t be enough. You know that, don’t you?

Huh? The mirror? That’s all it takes for it to fall? Just how sloppy did they mount the mirror? This hotel is seriously pathetic. So what are you gonna do? This room’s furniture is broken. I believe you know it but it’s all your fault, okay? Why don’t you start collecting the shards and apologize to me?

8:57

Ah, right. As you can see, they’re sharp so be careful when you pick the shards. You don’t want to you cut yourself accidentally. You might die if it stabs your neck by chance. Hehe! Are you afraid?

But don’t worry. I will never do anything like that. If I were to kill you, I wouldn’t go for an easy method like this. It has to be one that gives you even more pain and suffering. Otherwise it’d be pointless, no? So rest assured. Why are you silent? You’re supposed to be happy. You’re desperate and always anger me because that’s what you like. Right? Denying it after all this time? I won’t let you do that.

We have plenty of time until tomorrow so I’ll give you lots of pain the whole night. Look forward to it. You went all your way and followed me here to make sure I pulled off my job, right? So don’t complain no matter what I do. Got it?

[cybertron-after-dark]

Tweaking the og tfa sona a little bit. Flashbang is back and ever so slightly pointier

(and probably stoned)

Character info under the cut if anyone wants to see (a little nsfw, there's a lot of talk about porn, but no actual sex happening)

Flashbang is the Decepticons' #1 plug for all things just a bit skeezy. From hardcore porn to softcore drugs, if it's not gonna kill ya but the Autobots really dont want it circulating, there's a pretty good chance Flashbang's gotten her claws on it, no matter how niche.

Looking for pre-war dirty bootleg holovids? She has a whole alphabetized rack of them. Banned interface mods? Available for nearly all frame types. Weird drugs from off-planet that invert your color vision and let you taste sound? You know it. Spiked engex so strong it'll have you seeing visions of other realities? She blends it herself!

She's also pretty notorious for taking custom erotica commissions for just about anything under the sun. Vanilla, bondage, s&m, cross-faction, cross-species, sticky, Plug'n'Play, spark bonding, wireplay, humiliation, medical kink, excessive weapons, excessive kibble, breeding, biting, tentacles, vore, even super specific things only a handful of bots would ever be into. There's not really a whole lot she draws a hard line in the sand for, which is unthinkable in stuffy autobot society with their silly little porn ban.

That level of variety (and her knack for finding pre-ban titles especially) caught the attention of some mechs with very particular tastes. Namely, Decepticon high command. Megatron is mostly interested in tracking down old holovids he used to have stashed in his gladiator days that he thought were lost to time. Lugnut takes full advantage of her custom commissions and keeps asking for incredibly detailed Megatron x Reader fics. Blitzwing just a habit of picking up odd little fascinations out of nowhere that most places just wouldn't carry content for.

Aside from her whole x-rated reputation, Flashbang isn't much of a fighter, but she is one hell of a scavenger, which comes in handy when Blitzwing decides to drag her to Earth with him. She's not much for making tech, but if she knows what she's looking for, she can usually track down the materials. And if she has to go about it by stealing, well, getting caught isn't much of a problem when she's lightweight, quick, stealthy, and equipped with disorienting strobe light mods that live up to her name in case she's cornered.

Most encounters she has with team prime are awkward ones. When they do find her milling about, she's not usually doing anything wrong, per se. Earth isn't Autobot territory after all and Cybertronian laws don't extend there. But they know what she's infamous for, and none of them know exactly what to do with that information (barring ratchet, who is trying to scope out the pre-ban holovids while the others aren't looking, Autobot law be damned)

Overall, flashbang is just happy to hang out in the cons' cave base, cook up some funky engex blends from whatever she can find on Earth, and watch human TV with Blitzwing in between scavenging for whatever megs needs and drafting freaky erotica commissions from whatever bot, con, or morbidly curious organic may throw some cash her way. It's not a bad gig given she's not taking any of the war stuff super seriously.

[jemgirl86]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💜

I’m late as hell lol. Thanks for the ask twin! ❤️

Hmm okay, my 5 favorite fics that I’ve written in no particular order:

Stolen Moments

Summary:

“No,” Sam said, chuckling. “I don’t cheat,” he swept his gaze up and down James’ body, “even with guys who look like you. But, I’m bored and a little pissed, so if you wanna sit here and shoot the shit ‘til my man shows back up, I’m game.”

Never one to back to back down from a challenge - especially a challenge who looked like Sam Wilson - Bucky took another swig from his bottle and replied, “Sure, doll. I’ve got nothing but time.”

Or: Steve has Sam. Bucky wants Sam. Sam wasn’t expecting any of this.

Language: English Words: 98,826 Chapters: 20/20

Your Secrets are Safe With Me

Summary:

Bucky didn’t plan this in advance.

It wasn’t some sinister scheme he had been hatching for months in an evil lair or something.

No, Bucky wasn’t really a bad guy. He was just a guy who saw an opportunity and took it.

Or: Bucky does Sam a favor, and ends up doing himself an even bigger favor in the process.

Language: English Words: 5,451 Chapters: 1/1

You’re Blowin’ My Mind (With the Things You Say to Me)

Summary:

“Now you know I hate to get all in your business,” Sarah said, in lieu of a greeting, as she walked into the kitchen.

Sam’s resulting scoff was so loud she almost threw the coffee cup she was holding at him.

“Yeah, since when?” Sam shot back, not even bothering to look up from the table where he was working on Redwing.

“But,” she continued sharply, choosing to ignore his remark. “I think you need to talk to your boyfriend.”

“My what?” He spat, his head snapping up to stare at her.

“You know, your boyfriend,” she repeated, smirking over at him as she leaned against the counter. “The non-aging former assassin who pops up at our house on a regular basis. The same guy who drove an hour out of his way to Long’s Bakery yesterday just to get that cake you like, so he could bring it to the party. Your boyfriend, Sam.”

Or: After getting an earful from Bucky at the cookout, Sarah suggests Sam and Bucky have a chat... and they do.

Language: English Words: 2,137 Chapters: 1/1

We Need A Resolution

Summary:

“All in all, Bucky had been on his best behavior. That is, until Joaquin had shown up and latched himself to Sam’s side… the way Bucky was planning on doing for the length of the party. Sticking close to Sam had been the one thing that was going to make the evening tolerable. But the new Falcon had been in Sam’s face all night, stealing the spot that was rightfully his.”

Or: Sam’s throwing a party. Bucky’s just trying not to throw hands.

Language: English Words: 2,449 Chapters: 1/1

Things Were Lookin’ Grim, But They’re Lookin’ Good Again

Summary:

“How couldn’t you have known that, when you knew about Isaiah, man?” Sam hissed. “Maybe you didn’t know he was jailed and tortured and experimented on, but you sure as hell knew there was a Black super soldier who saved countless lives, who put your cyborg ass outta commission, and you knew nobody talked about him. You knew there weren’t any parades or news appearances or Smithsonian exhibits dedicated to him, even though he deserved as much praise as Steve and way more praise than Walker’s crazy ass, and yet you still couldn’t figure out why I might have been hesitant to take up the Captain America mantle? So, yeah, you’re right, I am angry with you, and, more than anything else, I’m disappointed in you.”

Bucky blanched. He had been ashamed before, but now he felt about as small as a person could.

Bucky needs to apologize. Sam needs to get some stuff off his chest.

Language: English Words: 3,543 Chapters: 1/1

[jabesa0]

Hii I amabsoloutly inlove eith your artstyle.

can I ask a few questions? :<

how lomg does your deawings usually take? and do you have any speedpaints,,, uploaded somewbere... for studying purposes

your drawings makr me want to to back to lineless art lol. and not take it so hard on myself.....

Hi there!! Unfortunately I don’t have any speedpaints seeing as I stop drawing while I’m working on my stuff cuz I get distracted easily 😭😭 so if I did you’d just have big periods where nothings happening LOL usually I post process shots on my personal irl server after each drawing session just so I can see how far along I am but that’s about it!

Also I fully support lineless!! I don’t do any lineart (clearly LOL) and it’s more fun to just paint over your sketch and make as you go!! And yeah don’t be so hard on yourself anon! Art is hard and shit takes time, so whether you take a few days on a piece or months I think you should be proud that you actually made something, even if it’s just for yourself :)!!

As for the question of how long I take on my drawings:

(More under the cut!)

As for how long it takes me to make drawings, I’d say it varies like this purple mammon I recently posted took a month but that’s because I had lots of final school work to do and I got sick twice during that time 💀💀 but this three pose page I did as a commission:

This one took me 9 days which is crazy when I think abt it actually cause there’s way more happening but yeah!!

This mammon in the back dress as well took about five days!! So to give you an estimate I’d say anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks? Most mammons I do usually end up being on the lower half of that range! Outside circumstances may make it vary but that’s usually the time it takes!!

Oh and I’d like to add that I usually am a night owl and only start working till around the evening times when I draw!! So when I say days I don’t mean like I spend d all day over my tablet, I don’t think that’d be very good for your health anyways 🤕🤕 take breaks yall play a game you like or watch something on YouTube!!! Don’t spend all your time working lest you burn out!!

I’m gonna be real with all of you, cause my friends make fun of me for it ALL THE TIME LOL but the largest majority of mammon drawing time is like 80% redrawing the face over and over and 20% the rest give or take. I drive myself crazy drawing mammon faces cause I need it to be perfect cause it’s mammon so when it’s not “perfect” I keep working at it and I don’t move on until it is 💀💀 my friends notice a cycle where it’s like:

“You guys I have such a fire idea for a mammon drawing” (makes sketch and flats in like 10 mins) —> (starts face) “wait you guys this face is kinda good maybe I won’t spend fifty years on it :D” —> “eehhhhhhgh okay face not looking good lemme see if I can tweak it” —> “okay face need to be redone.” —> “I decided against redoing it I’m just gonna fix what I have” —> “we gotta throw the whole idea out and start again.” —> “wait you guys I think I did it the face looks good asf was I crying for nothing before??” (They tell me yes I always do) —> (I move on from the face) —> (the rest is completed within 2-4 days) —> Done!

It’s stupid as hell I know LOL but when it comes to mammon if i don’t make him as best as I can I don’t feel like I do him justice. The things we do for love, right?

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

this is my personal acct with my personal opinions follow my art-only acct if you're only here for art

🥩 ghooost - they/he/she - haitian

warnings: body horror, gore, suggestive art, talking a lot (a LOT)

do not follow or interact if you are a proshipper, loli/shotacon, terf ect. don’t follow me if you are still a pr*jmoon fan who supports the company. i can n will block for any reason. anti-haitian "jokes" are not tolerated.

🥪 strawpage: https://ghooosthand.straw.page/

🥪 carrd w socmed links + commission info + itchio link: <here>

🥪 patreon: <here>

🥪 art-only tumblr!: @gooey-goo

🥪 oc tumblr!: @ghooostzone

🥪  carrd art gallery!: <here>

NOTE: 

1. if i mass delete art for a specific fandom post-2020 you’ll still find it on my itchio (or on youtube if it’s a video), if not you can potentially ask me to put it there. don’t reupload without asking me!!!

2. please try not to spam me too heavily! i used to block ppl over it srry.... (bc there were multiple cases of ppl literally going through 200 posts at once n it made me irritated/paranoid). i try to be chill abt it now but for certain fandoms its a chance for a hardblock (namely pm)

List of (unique) tags:

🥩 oc group tags:

oc, sweven, alien food, mikko in hell

🥩 art tags:

my art, art process, ghooost wip, ghooost art explanation, ghooost art vault

🥩 oji search = stuff i find that’s specifically old or middle-aged men (40+ but sometimes 30 yr olds end up in there u kno how it be...) (50+ is best btw)

🥩 pk gayming = general gaming tag; yume time = yume nikki fangames

🥩 book eating event = reading tag (doubles as gaming tag for some visual novels or games that i’m only watching playthroughs of)

🥩 personal finds = art scans, books, merch etc i obtained

🥩 [character / media name] posting = basically me posting a bunch of the same thing/character over n over. sometimes doesn’t have the word “posting” in it

^ current list of these tags:

- gegege posting

- samurai calibur

- jiro posting

- ginko posting (not used at all anymore but i still like him ^_^ so i still rb the old posts)

^ there are other tags of this nature for other games or media, if they’re not on this post anymore it means i just moved on from them or haven’t used them in a long time

[goldendoodlerlockerlove]

4, 10, 11, 27!! (took you this long to reblog the thing >:/ but hell yessss ♥️)

Yesss!! Thank you so much for invading my ask box, DT!!❣️

4.) How many different styles/mediums (e.g., digital art, traditional art, comics, sculptures, paper craft, etc.) did you try this year?

Actually, quite a bit!! At least, more than I initially thought I did. I, of course, did mostly digital art near the end of this year, and ended up producing a lot more pieces than I've done before!! It was honestly kind of crazy how much art I began producing at the end of this year. It was like I was a driver in a race, pffffffft. But, at the beginning of this year, I dabbled a lot in traditional art, because I enjoy the feeling of putting a pencil to paper, and whilst it takes more time, sometimes it can give you more freedom to experiment with designs or expressions. I also began making a long-form Bob's Burgers comic for the first time, which was inspired by @bluebirbbs and their long-form Bob's Burgers comic, which everyone should read if they haven't already. When I was younger and in art class, I actually used even more mediums for creating art, like sewing an actual Christmas ornament, and sketching stuff using a lightbox, which is super fun. But I haven't done those two things in years. I kind of want to try doing them again someday.

10.) What inspired/motivated you this year?

DT, you know I'm going to say you as my first (and biggest :3) inspiration. I mean, come on, you're the reason I have this blog in the first place. I know I've said it before, but seeing your amazing, lovely BB art inspired me to begin making my own and get back into drawing, and it caused me to create my blog and expand it into territories I didn't even think were possible. And now I'm running Geneuary, an event celebrating my favorite baby boy, and that would never have happened if it hadn't been for you, and that initial Boblin ask I somehow worked up the courage to give you (and am so glad I did)! It doesn't show it anymore, but do you remember how I didn't even have an image for my account?? 😆

Yes, I'm getting super sappy, but all of this is true!! Now, of course, you weren't my only inspiration. There are too many blogs to name, but @br1ghtestlight has been super sweet and my Gene Belcher buddy!! He's the one person who loves the baby boy as much as I do. We may or may not do a collab for Geneuary based on an idea she had about Gene and Tina working on a lil' puzzle together, which is just too adorable 😭

I also must shout out @babsvibes too. She was also, in a way, the reason I even have this blog. I used to be content enjoying this silly Burger show on my own, watching the episodes and having fun, and reading the occasional fanfic (@thisaliennerd and their Boblin fanfic Falling For You is Easy [Like Sunday Morning]) was one of my first forays into the BB fanfic community, and it wonderful) when I suddenly stumbled upon this Tinimmy fic by Babs one fateful day called Honeycombed Hair, I believe: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44413795

This fic led me to you, DT, and your amazing art!! And I joined this incredible Muppet community, and nothing's been the same for me ever since. Now I don't have to enjoy this show alone!! Of course, I have my BF @cryptidchrome now, who watches the show, but I digress. Babs also invited me to the Louigan server, which has been an absolute blast. And she's just an excellent writer in general, which is very inspiring as someone who also writes.

I must also shoutout @theangrypomeranian for being so sweet and Commissioning me, and also being an excellent writer (she called me the #1 Gene person in this fandom and that made me so 🥺). And @devilh0rnsinc for having such lovely art that it makes me squee every time. And @jimmypesto for making the best Boblin fics and just being the ultimate Boblin connoisseur. Shoutout to her new nephew for being the most adorable bambino on the entire planet. Welcome to the world, lil' bean!! @jimmyjrsmusoems is another fantastic writer and is hilarious, and is the other Tinimmy connoisseur in this fandom, besides you, DT, of course. Also, @koko-raccoon has some of the cutest art ever and listened to me ramble about my OCs, which I definitely want to thank them for. Their art is very inspiring to me. But the person whose art is the most inspiring to me, besides yours, DT, is probably @dianadeadwing. Her art is wonderful, and I'll never get enough of it. I also get so excited whenever I see it.

Okay, now for more of a speed round so I can mention more people!! @ratguy-nico has adorable art as well, and I love his style so much. It's wonderful. And @ltwharfy is such a good writer and I didn't even know until I read his Roudise Week fic about Bob and Rudy getting Louise a new hat when she outgrows her bunny ears. @keepyourhornson-spyro is another fantastic writer and is the certified Tedmort Monarch. There are just so many more people I want to name, but I'll just mention one more person: @carnivaldemon, who gave me the most adorable art of Gene and my OC, Alexis. His art is truly inspiring to me.

11.) What pairing/character/subject did you create the most for this year?

You probably already know the answer to this ☠️

It's definitely a tie between Boblin and Gene/Alexis, which is definitely my newest ship and obsession. But I have to give Boblin a special shoutout because I began work on an entire Pre-Canon Boblin series (which I'm still working on to this day) and a "Linda is Deaf" AU, both of which are super close to my heart now. Thank you for giving me the push I needed to work on my "Linda is Deaf" AU when I sent that ask about it to you, pfffffft.

Gene is definitely the character I've created the most for in terms of just singular characters. I could talk about him all day. I love this lil' guy so much. Hopefully, y'all don't get bored of hearing me ramble about him, because I'll certainly never get bored of rambling about him.

27.) Biggest surprise while creating art this year?

Honestly, the biggest surprise was just how sweet, supportive, and welcoming the Bob's Burgers community ended up being. Y'all welcomed me with open arms and supported all of my creative endeavors (and long analyses about Gene) and for that, I'll always be grateful. This community really does feel like one big family, and it's so lovely to see. Everyone is just so nice to each other, it warms my heart 🥹 And one of my biggest surprises was learning about the Ship Weeks/Character Events, and how fun they are. They're truly a testament to how sweet and talented this community is. I'm definitely looking forward to them all next year if they happen again.

[idkhowtoname]

Commission details

but idk how to price things and render (help)

very long list C:

Traditional comms:

bust - $2

waist up - $4

full body - $5

(+$2 for color)

Digital comms:

Sketch

Bust - $5

Waist up - $7

Full body - $9

Line art:

Bust - $10

Waist up - $12

Full body - $15

Colored:

Bust - $14

Waist up - $16

Full body - $19

(+$2 for some shadows and highlights)

Extra stuff:

+$5 for every extra person

Flat color - free :D

Pattern/glow around character - $2

Gradient - $3

not too detailed background (like a simple sunset or smthn) - $7

(can't do too detailed backgrounds sorry :C)

Small / simple props (cups, mics, etc.) - $1

Big / complex props (swords, scythes, etc.) - $5

Will do:

blood

ship art (non-controversial or problematic)

people!! (I'll try my best to draw chubbier fellas :D)

Won't do:

mecha :[

NSFW

anything to harrass or discriminate people

no proshipping. if you're a proshipper get the hell off my blog.

Unsure (ask):

suggestive

gore

animals (depends)

PAYMENT!!! MONEIII!!!!

not very familiar with paypal but I'll try my best :]

and *maybe* tf2 keys but you'd have to help me with trading a bit since I don't really do dat,,,,,,

Communication:

You can dm me on tumblr or discord but discord is prefered since I will be able to respond sooner because of notifs! My discord is the.eeper

DISCLAIMER!!

I CAN refuse service to anyone I wish. The reason may be: it is too difficult for me, out of my skill set, out of my comfort zone, goes against one of my personal commission rules, etc. I will make sure to tell you if that is the case.

If you would like updates on the drawing/s I will send them to you as soon as possible! And I will try to respond whenever I can whether it is dming me for a drawing or asking for updates!!

And remember to not be shy! I also get scared of strangers but I will be more comfortable the more we talk or know eachother! (I may be nervous if you're popular/I find you cool and stuff like that)

Let me know if I should fix anything on the sheet! I will always try my best to improve and make sure you like your drawing! Thank you! Have a great day/night silly goober!! :D

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

I've done basically nothing but lay down and be exhausted since kirb2k over 2 months ago, but I did at least get the kirbox orders fulfilled. I have an immunology appointment in another 2 1/2 months and maybe they might do something to help me feel better. (it's a bad time. I know it seems to be most of what I talk about, but it is kind of all-consuming. even this roundup wore me out.)

also there are sometimes comments that make me smile but I don't have anything to add to them so I just read them and smile and don't put them in the roundups, but I promise I do see them all, like the many yeehaws (and yes haws and heehaws) for [cowboy kirb] <3

on [the last roundup] @hive-heart said: Hope things get better, kirby guy 💕 thanks for the reply :) also yeah! Sitting by the window during a storm is quite nice

they haven't lol, but thank you!

on [kirb2k] @ceylonsilvergirl said: HAPPY Y2K EVERYBODY!! I am joke, but it did give me serious “turn of the century’’ vibes. oof… that sentence hit me like I drank out of the wrong grail

that was intentional, that's also why we started with the macarena in the 1990s :>

on [errands] @crypptiid said: ME! MY ROLLATOR IS BLUE AND EVERUTHING @sunflowerinthemidst said: oh look it's me only my walker is hot pink 1😅😂

nice! I should really repaint mine if I'm ever feeling well enough lol

on [the last roundup] @gudetamalover said: :O!!! I’ve been noticed! My surgery went very well btw, thank you! [details removed for privacy.] I love your art so much btw, it brings me and my mom so much joy! I love this little pink dude, he’s got a permanent place in my heart ❤️ 

man that sounds rough, good thing it got ironed out quickly! and I'm glad it brings you both joy <3

on [errands] @pilcherthegreat said: oooo might add this one to my Kirby brigade tattoo 👀

oh hell yeah that sounds so cool! (for anyone else wondering, tattoos on your own body count as personal use and are totally fine by me!)

on [screaming] @persimmonlions said: i always forget how much i do not like the chaotic cacophony of a crowd until i am in a mall, like ‘oh yeah i DO get overstimulated no wonder i constantly skipped classes when i was 10’. anyway i got back home at 3 and proceeded to sleep for 6 hours

ugh omg yeah especially when you actually reblogged this 2 months ago and there were still holiday crowds and all the extra decor and stuff, the mall can be So Much.

on [macarena] @unconventionalvoidaxolotls said: holy heck, go kirby go! oh yeah this is a great first post. beautiful

ehehehe it's an honor :3

on [plushies] @the-void-is-a-disappointment said: finally getting around to reblogging this but thank you bunches for the commission!he looks so comfy and cozy i love it, he deserves this

he does! he does deserve to be so cozy and cute! (and thank you again for the support!)

on [bloodstream] @lord-chiopet said: Kirby in my blood could fix me

well he certainly wouldn't make me worse lol (fun fact: you kind of already have a bunch of kirb-likes in your blood! macrophages are a type of white blood cell that engulf and isolate or destroy foreign matter like splinters, viruses, and even tattoo ink! they're basically eating anything that tries to get into your blood that's not supposed to be there -u- )

on [fire] @jupiterlandings said: kirby I am hurrying to you with blankets and a tent and a warm meal, we may be in the wilderness kirby but we can still look at the stars even when the night is cold. and even if we can’t see them they’re still there and they’ll send the sun to look after us tomorrow. it’ll be ok kirby we’ll be ok

waah this is just such a sweet thought ;n; thank you for sharing it.

on [frown] @shapeshifterwithafez said: get well soon OP :c <3 this kirby nevertheless brings joy to my dashboard thank you!

I will not but thank you! I'm glad he brings joy regardless :)

on [worm] @thecosmickitty said: Hey fam just wanna say i love your art. Thank you for sharing (:

aww thanks!

on [mcas] @untoldsoup said: Im sorry about the health issues 😞 hope you get the treatment your looking for

I appreciate it <3 it's still gonna take a while one way or the other, but hopefully eventually someone will do something.

on [float (up)] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a ufo to abduct him, then on [rainbow] they [added] an alien kirb to greet him, and on [freckles] they [added] the view out the ufo window :) this little saga was very cute and did cheer me up a bit, thank you <3

on [float (down)] @angst-and-fajitas said: Ah he's floatin away

the kirb's not made for helium balloons! (a reference to [this vine], and good news this upload is actually from the person that made it!)

on [sacrifice] @joekingv1 said: *sits next to baby and waits to see what happens*

I really wanna draw a short comic for this but it seems like I'm not gonna feel up to it anytime soon -n-

on [stars] @gidkog said: *GASP* at world’s ass…

oh no you're right :x that was not on purpose lol

on [earring] @roboticutie said: yay!!!! he's here again today :D thank you!!!

your enthusiasm is sweet! he will be here every day! :)

on [sora] @ducksandlemonsandbigoldfish said: Kiev Kernel Kirby I hate autocorrect

this made me laugh lol

on [sora] @canvascoloredin said: congratulations! I've played all the kingdom hearts games (except Melody of Memories, Sorry Kairi), and started when I was around six but haven't had the time to buy a console I can play 3 on. Have fun for me!

I haven't played melody of memories yet either, the rhythm for all the rhythm minigames was always so janky that I'm kind of worried about how it might play tbh. but I am having lots of fun, I'm sure it's enough for both of us!

on [tattoos] @theraphos said: high five kirby i just recently resolved to finally get myself a tattoo this year also

nice! I hope it goes well :)

@turpial-thoughts asked: hi

hello!

on [worry] @graycoin said: I hope the wait is worth it.

yeah me too :s (thanks. and for all your other sympathetic comments whenever I complain about it as well <3 )

on [float (side)] @joekingv1 said: *asks baby what they think about when they go floating*

probably very little I imagine. even less than usual lol

on [bread] @joekingv1 said: *asks baby what they got while secretly hiding some extra treats for baby, Bear and Cake*

this one is just very cute, I had to read it aloud to my partner when I saw it.

on [sea] @graycoin said: This gets across the vibe very well. I get why you'd feel that way, I think. It's understandable. I'm glad people are trying. You deserve it.

thanks. I've always had a hard time conveying like, internal stuff for some reason, so it's nice when it seems to make sense to someone else.

on [sea] @ceylonsilvergirl said: Kirbo is in the storm, tossed by the waves, threatened by lightning at any moment in the dark. not even the stars to shine through the clouds. but he’s still floating, and that has to count for something

surely it must count for something TnT <3

[nightmareworks]

After Action Interview

My name is Mu Ortena, with Union Historical Bureau, Active Front Correspondence Division, Kalacharri Commission. This recording is meant for historical context and further understanding of the events of Operation Seventh Step. My subject today is Allison Wax, who participated in Seventh Step as a mechanized frame pilot aboard the UNS-CV Oleander.

Miss Wax, would you please tell me how you came to serve aboard the Oleander?

"Yeah, sure, sure newsie. I was on the Oleander's spin as part of a Union contract, gray as all else could be. CO's had me giving orbital deployment training to a buncha oldtypes with grays so fresh-stiff they creaked when they saluted. Mostly mem-dump and virtu training, but the recruits-" Subject shrugs, tilting her head, dismissive "-too stuck with Gravity. Couple of 'em puked from the virtus I gave 'em."

Do you do much work as a trainer?

"No? It's boring as all hell, especially when CO wants me to teach a bunch of newborn little Auxes how to fly. They barely know how to handle themselves in Spin, too used to planetary weight!" Subject drums fingers against the table, annoyed. "Can't stand the smell of sick like that. The hell, like, they think bulking up on food will help them out or something, weigh them down more. Stupid, but I guess that's what oldtypes on their first trip upwell do." Subject shrugs again.

Please tell me what a more "normal" contract with Union entails for you.

"Well, its mostly me and my Loverboy, going pirate hunting. Union Grays just point me where to dance. Been a merc since I shed the weight, gotta outta my meat and got outta the Range." Subject smiles, referencing her homeland of Ketherese Station in the Auric Range; as well as her full-body prosthesis. "You see a lotta fighting, newsie? You ever see what the world looks like when you're really goin? Or is that just somethin for lancers?" Subject arches back, then ceases all motion for 3.8 seconds. "Maybe that's why the grays couldn't handle the mem-dumps, they just didn't know how to handle my kinda love. Goes a little too fast."

For the record, would you mind telling me what you mean by that?

"Ain't this whole thing a record, newsie? Ain't that why we're doin this?"

I mean that, are you comfortable with sharing what you mean about love when you say that? I understand that Loverboy is the callsign for... OCF-099bHMT?

"Yeah, that's my Loverboy."

I see. Is there anything more you would be comfortable sharing, or would you prefer if we stuck to only the most relevant details?

"[Subject sighs], you really are Gray, aren't you? I don't mind, don't mind a tick. When I fly, its about Love. My Loverboy and I do a dance, and we see who can keep up with us. Love is what waits for you when you cross the barrier-" Subject points two fingers at me, her thumb cocking as the hammer of a mock revolver "-And see the world at 2000kmph."

I appreciate your... candor?

"So newsie, are you gonna answer my question, you ever see that kinda world?"

No, I don't think I've experienced what you describe.

"That's a damn shame, to be stuck like that. You drift, you record, but hey, you ever see? Or is it all just stuff to go into the record- made into a Gravity?"

Let's return to the subject of our interview. Did you have any personal relationships with the members of the Mechanized Scouting Unit, as their trainer?

"I hate to be negative with you, newsie. Don't make for a good story, does it?"

It's alright, Miss Wax. History is made up of a lot of perspectives. Yours is just another part of the wider context, fleshing it all out as a primary source.

"That so? Make you more of a datahead than a newsie, don't it."

That's just the nature of being the first correspondent. If you don't mind, did you know anyone on the Mechanized Scouting Unit?

"Nah, yeah, not really. Just another set of gray new kids to teach how to fly second hand. Like I said earlier, I was mostly doing mem-dumps and virtus." Subject ceases all motion for approximately 1.5 seconds, then continues. "They handled the mem-dumps better than the rest of the grays I was supposed to teach. Think being in a mech before made it a little easier. Once you've tasted a live wire, you don't forget how it goes. The infantry kiddies, couple of them were spooked by a smart-circuit link, even if they said they got how the tech works."

May I ask what exactly the training programs were for the Mechanized Scouting Unit?

"Mem-dumps are spinning out bits of my brain for them to experience. Gotta layer in my matter, helps translates impulse to the body." Subject holds her hand out to me, palm up. "Push a couple of live-flight patrols I remember out an i/o." Subject pulls her hand back, touching against the nape of the neck. "Plug myself into a holo, and the new grays get to know what its like to really fly." Subject waves hand, removing it from her neck and setting it at rest again. "Virtus are spun up by Gray, same kinda holos as the mem-dumps, 'cept... tuned more for the Gray ways of flyin."

To finalize the pre-mission details, what did you know about Kalacharr when the Oleander arrived in-system? Were you aware of why the Oleander had diverted from its course?

"I figured a Far-Field shot lit a flare for help and Oleander was the closest Gray thing to get pulled into Orbit. I didn't know nothing about the planet. Can't stand planets. Too much Gravity, so I try not to pay attention to them. Kalacharr was just another place full of some paleo-oldtypes building shitty oldschool Babylons til Mr. Gray came and gave the shitheads ontop of the tower a few licks."

You've generally outlined your feelings on your deployment to Kalacharr, but would you be comfortable describing your opinion on the UNS-CV Oleander's actions?

"Which ones? Cause I was mostly-" Subject stops speaking, again ceases all motion for 2.4 seconds. I cannot see her breathing. "-like, okay, I don't really pay attention unless I'm flying."

That's alright Miss Wax, I mean, did the Oleander's Intervention mean anything to you, personally? Politically? Anything like that.

"I mean, its good to look at a pile of bricks and kick it over sometimes, isn't it? I think goin Gray will be good for them. Let 'em live as revolutionary ancestors for a little, these paleo-oldtypes."

And could you expand on that thought?

"I mean, yeah like. You Grays talk about levels of utopianism and all. Build up Gray thoughts, Gray words, Gray lives. Writings'd call you all the revolutionary ancestors. Too caught up in Gray to see much else. But Gray is better than the boot. And Gray'll leave well the fuck enough alone when someone sheds the weight of Cradle and steps past. You just make sure they step in a direction that don't totalize everyone else."

I see? Can I ask what you mean when you say Gray, specifically?

"Union. Good enough. Get along. Reasonable."

I've only read what's publicly available on your records, plus what's deemed necessary for context of Seventh Step's operations, do you mind telling me on record where you learned your terminology?

"I learned to shed my Gravity. I'm a spacenoid, you're an oldtype. That's just the way it is. Your soul's weighed down with stuff you can't see right, newsie."

Would you describe yourself as a posthuman, Miss Wax?

"I'm the future, newsie."

Throughout, subject has spoken without intentional malice, merely a rougher form of the Ketherean Cant. None of the tone shifts nor looping grammars registered as having insults in their meanings by translation C/Cs. I truly believe she also believes what she says. I have decided to continue the interview with the further noted context of subject's extreme differences from the Cradelian standard mores.

I see.

Did you know the other members of the Emergency Mechanized Strike Team well?

"Nah. Not really. Gray had me talking to infant killers all day, why the hell was I gonna talk to that soldier boy if I didn't have to? Soldierboy was doing the ground training, I was doing the flight training, didn't really see much point in comparing notes, yeah?" Subject cocks her head, begins drumming on the interview table. "And that tall girl reeked of Gravity. You talk to her yet? She's gonna give you a spin."

Everyone has their own perspectives on an event, Miss Wax. Its just my job to record your answers and provide what context is needed to understand your version of events. That's how you report on war.

"That sounds real nice, newsie, I can feel you on that, touch on the orbit you're offering. History's second-fiddle to memory. And I'm just saying, I remember the tall girl, and I remember she was heavy with Gravity, and she was always writin something. Cloak-and-needle kind of shit if you ask me."

And the Union Health Bureau NHP?

"Ivy-thinker was alright. Thinkers are like that. They've got that Gravity they can't shed, being stuck in a coffin. But she was good and helpful. Told me I couldn't share my Chronos with some officer, even though I was outta stuff to wager." Subject smiles, referring to a combat drug produced by IPS-N, graded for use by pilots with proper cybernetic implants to handle it. Given subject's full-body prosthesis and medical history of Temporal Dissociative Trauma Disorders, heavy use of the drug must be taken into account with her recollection of events. "Their rides were that bad, real slick machines- high grade stuff. Shame we had to do such a rush-job printing. A fresh print is bad for my Loverboy, he doesn't fly right without a warmup, you know?"

On that subject, would you mind discussing how your frame served on Kalacharr? I understand that Orbital Combat Frames aren't traditionally meant to serve in planetary actions.

"I can say, but it'd be better off if you asked my Loverboy."

I... don't see how I would interview an orbital combat frame?

"You know, for someone who spends so long out in the dark, you're terribly oldtype in your thinking, newsie."

I'm afraid I don't understand.

"I can do you a mem-dump from my Loverboy, I can send you his memories of the fight, when we're done here, yeah?"

If you have permission to show me... an NHPs memories? Do you have clearance for that?

"My Loverboy ain't one of the thinkers, he's just hisself." Subject waves her hand dismissively. She then produces a small lollipop from a pocket, beginning to eat as she speaks. "So I can get you his perspective. He was there same as me, and probably remembers better too."

Thank you, I'll include it at the end of this interview, as attached context.

"Yeah, that's stella newsie." Subject dances the lollipop across her fingers, then pops it back to her mouth "Do you have more, newsie?"

Yes, would you mind giving me your perspective on your performance under atmosphere?

"[Subject sighs] You got me newsie, okay. I was sick as one of you oldtypes when yall first come upwell, you familiar with the sensation? Awful stuff. My Loverboy, he don't dance so hot with a fresh print, and under Gravity he's gotta spend all his time adjusting his verniers." Subject stands, moving from her chair. She is walking on the points of her feet, speaking around her sweet. "My Loverboy n me, we ain't built for Gravity, for walkin like oldtypes. We were meant to fly, yaknow newsie?" Subject continues to pace slightly, stretching her legs? Running through memories? "So yeah, downwell, I run like shit and its hard. Hate doing it. But I do it better. Shimano Rail-Rifle and Trunk Security Special handle most everything you put in front of us." Subject shrugs. "Rest of the crew they handled atmosphere better'n me."

Could you discuss the logistical situation of Seventh Step?

“Yeah yeah, Oleander was in near orbit and the well was too strong to just drop shit, so all the baby Grays had to use their backs and landers and shift it down. Most of the weight was schedule printers and ‘mat for em. Had to put my Loverboy together on a fresh print.”

You’ve said as much, Miss Wax

“Oh, yeah. Anyways the printers and the bodies were most of the weight capacity coming downwell. Gray set up camps once the Percivals were done sending the ironboys truly to the fuckin stone age.”

Can you describe the camp?

“It was a camp on a front line, newsie, you must already know what it was like.”

Yes, I’ve been to several, including frontline encampments as part of Blue Nomad’s cleanup, but what's important is your perspective on things. You're the primary source here.

"Okay, fine, newsie. Fine. I had to sleep on the way down from the Oleander. I had to carry my borgrations and most of my Loverboy's core components, yah? Shit that's important gets heavy when you finally get downwell. That's just the tax Gravity makes you fucking pay, like the shit it is..." Subject returns to her chair, hopping over its back. She takes advantage of microgravity with natural grace. "But once we were down it was, what, a little town? Cramped, tents, weight, and plenty of fuckin mud. I can't walk right down there, ain't meant for dirt. Didn't have a bite to eat except halfa ration bar. You ever have a borgration? Humans can still eat 'em I mean, right?"

I haven't, Miss Wax. I am uncertain if my stomach could handle SSC products of that… processing level.

"They're sweet. Really sweet. Brains need a lotta glucose, right? So most of a borgration is sugars, and them diet-acids. Calories and bits just for fullborgs. I eat ‘em when I gotta be on deploy. Easier than Gray Meals on the stomach, at least under Gravity.”

You mentioned your mech’s core systems are something you brought with you from the Oleander?

“Had to get my Loverboy into his new body, once the printing was done. Few dozen kilos of hardware. Easier to handle upwell than down, yeah newsie? Hyperkinesis Module is hard to reprint and retool, so I just gotta rip out its canisters and carry em with me- otherwise my Loverboy’s mixtures are gonna be off. Gotta haul down his targeting comps and the mute drives too, so when I pull his trigger it goes just right.”

You, pulled most of your mech’s main computer systems out and brought them down from the Oleander?

“Only way to fly right. My Loverboy’s got silicon the way we got fat in our skulls. And he’s gotta be up to grade if we’re gonna be fighting. And we were fighting, that’s why we’re talkin.”

Of course. So that was your experience with the logistics of Seventh Step?

“Ah yeah. At least the parts I still remember.”

I noticed in the reports that you fought alongside native resistance forces, could you describe their logistical situation?

"Fuck if I know?"

... I see. Could you describe their basic armament?

"Swords? A couple of 'em got rifles from the Gray-n-blues? Paleo-oldtype shit."

I would like to ask something before we dig into your combat actions.

Subject makes a sound of affirmation. She seems more caught up in her sweet.

Why do you refer to the Kalacharrians the way you do?

[Subject pauses at the question, movement does not cease completely.]

“Because. Look. You Gray love your distinctions. I am not Gray. I am of the weightless. I’m a Spacenoid. You and yours are Gray. They, the knightboys and the inkgirls, they’re oldtypes like you. But they learned that there was more than mud about when the Oleander dropped into the atmo. Can’t even conceive of Gravity. Paleo-oldtypes. Just a statement of fact, of, how the line those admin types use? Material conditions.” Subject spreads her hands wide, speaking around the lollipop.

“I’m the future, they’re the past. Gotta catch up, newsie.”

I see. Would you like us to continue, to your combat experiences, or would you prefer a short recess?

“Let’s keep it going, newsie. CO is paying me to talk about shit I already did.”

Alright. How would you describe the forces you encountered during Seventh Step?

“Shitty. Recycled. Kinda an insult to frames, strapped together by the most dipshit kind of Babylon. They had like three Everests worth of parts they scraped together from fuck-knows-where.”

Records show it was the Mechanized Scout Company and repair parts stolen from logistics convoys.

“Huh. Makes sense yeah. Had damn more frames than three though. Mostly groundcars with mech bits stapled on and fuckin, the shitcan birds.”

Do you mean the... Bronze Thrushes?

"Where'd they get that fuckin name, huh?"

I don't know, that's merely what the Union combat record states the enemy forces were named, by Kalacharri forces. The Bronze Thrushes operated the artillery emplacement "Lilypad."

"I guess, they had birds on them. Real fuckin shitboxes."

First contact was on a convoy mission?

"Uh-huh, had to make sure the graytreads got where they needed to be, find and recover the mechkiddies who ended up murked. By fuckin dipshits in tinsteel fits, makes me a shamed to have trained them. And then the fuckin tinsteel assholes rolled up on us after we'd found the wrecks they'd stripped down. Just usin the mud to get shit trapped and jump it, guess that's all they could manage? My Loverboy gave 'em a warhorn blast, tallgirl ignited her frame, most of 'em got to runnin."

Do you usually attempt to break morale before engaging?

"I dunno about tallgirl, way she laughed about it? Probably. But my Loverboy wants folks to know he's here. I only got time to dance with folks that know their steps."

And the rest of the squad?

"Hell I don't know. I got moving, and one of the fuckin things, had himself some A/A guns and a hot printer. Had to fuck with him while tallgirl ate some fool."

I'm sorry?

"Yeah. Just let the swarm come outta her frame and swallow one of the big birds up, a proper frame-print, kinda. You know how GMS parts are, right? Even paleo-oldtypes can fit 'em together into technicals. She fed him to the fire and the butterflies. Only good taste she got was in butterflies. Soldierboy settled down to pick his targets, Ivy-thinker helped me tangle with the fucker with the printer, a couple of hellfire rounds and railshots solve all under heaven after all, newsie." Subject pulls legs up, crossing them underneath her before the spin-gravity settles her back to the seat. "So tallgirl started eaten 'em with that blackswarm she got, soldierboy slams a few big rounds home, Ivy-thinker lays down the fire on that printfucker and his A/As with me."

The... Miss Irene? The Karrakin Civilian Observer, is that who you mean by 'tallgirl'? I just want to clarify

"Yeah?"

I... see.

"So we bring down the printerfucker and his toys and then more of those fucking birds show up, yeah? More of the fucking technical-ass frames the birds slapped their mark on. They didn't last when Ivy-thinker and Soldierboy went to town, and my Loverboy he just laid his finger on the trigger and let it sing!" Subject cocks her head, listening to something I cannot hear. "That's what I do while I dance, I pull his trigger and make him sing for me. And when my Loverboy sings, everybody's gotta look or duck when the rifle barks behind him, [Subject giggles to herself, as though sharing a joke]. Then the graytread finally pulled its happyass out of the mud, which meant we get to keep fucking going. Which was... towards this oldtype town?"

By the records, this is when the forces of the Azure Cloth made first contact.

"Oh."

Do you... remember them, particularly clearly?

"There was this knightboy, Ram-" Subject refers to Ramaul Travail, leader of the Azure Cloth resistance movement. "-and this inkgirl, Clem." Sister Clemencine of the Holy Orders. "Tallgirl and Ivy-thinker, they talked to Ram about... something? Movin? Ram had to talk through Clem, and I was feeling the weight. Kept my endo linked with my Loverboy and listened to tallgirl and Ivy-thinker go through the routines. I think soldierboy was chewing out the baby-grays for driving into a fucking hole in the ground." Subject's shoulders shrug. "I can't blame them, Gravity sucks shit down. So does mud. That's why I fucking hate planets, newsie. Mud. What kind of nightmare shit do you oldtypes live with?"

Is there anything else you can recall about the first contact scenario, you say it was overseen by Civilian Observer Irene Sibyl and UHB-Ivy?

"Yeah like. I talked over radio a little bit, but I don't think the linguasofts could keep up."

Is there... anything else you remember?

Subject ceases all motion for approximately 2.3 seconds, then continues, annoyed. "I was hung the fuck over from the weight and the heat of my Loverboy rooting around in my fuckin endocrine through the lines he's got in my kidneys." Subject shudders, smiles. "When you've got a girl's hands in your implants, the weight gets off your shoulders for a minute. I finally didn't feel like spilling my guts onto my Loverboy's pretty console like I was still new to my body." Subject cocks her head, I can feel her staring at me through her bangs. "That's just the perfect kind of love, an antidote to Gravity. My lover's embrace is just the shit to shake free of all the shit I was dealin with. So no, newsie, I didn't really remember the first time I saw those paleo-oldtypes in their tinsteel fits."

Once again I appreciate your... candor, with me.

Would you mind describing for me the route you took to the town of Morta? I understand there was further enemy contact?

"Ram dragged our happy asses through the..." Subject's brow furrows under her hair, I assume from focus and annoyance. "Forest? It had plants, dug into the earth. Big stuff, couldn't survive on hydroponics, yeah newsie?"

I would understand it being very difficult terrain for your frame.

"I mean, it didn't STOP my Loverboy. It's not that different from an asteroid field, in terms of how you fly." Subject waves her hand dismissively.

The record describes the second encounter as another ambush, would you describe it as that?

"I mean, I'd say more a buncha the birds ran up on us while we was babysitting the paleo-oldtypes and the graytreads. They had trees that was nasty as all get out."

Trees?

"Yeah, ones that moved, tried to grab and pull and shred. Thorns and tendrils. Nasty shit, newsie. Soldierboy and Ivy-thinker handled the birdie-frames while me n tallgirl kept the trees busy busy. Butterflies on branches, and tallgirl and I painted 'em in fire. Things wouldn't fucking stop."

And that's when Percival squadron was dispatched to aide?

"Yeah. And you know, newsie, those flyboys could dance. And they had the heavy-busters we needed for the trees. I had to go up with 'em, show 'em the path to dance through the roots and twigs. Tallgirl burned it open behind me. And the flyboys dropped it home." Subject claps and smiles around her lollipop. "Wish they'd let me just keep going with that heartbreaking blue. CO started yellin at me about Minovsky interference with the flyboy's gear." Subject suddenly shifts to sighing, shoulders sagging. "Who the fuck doesn't account for Minovsky particle radiation?"

Most engines in Union don't provoke a Minovsky reaction, from my understanding.

"If you aren't pulling the bleeding speed, why would you use anything else?"

I don't think designers consider that level of speed required, in aerospace encounters.

"Well my Loverboy only deserves the best." Subject sounds quite proud.

Would you say that you participated in the bombing run by Percival 1-1 and 1-2?

"Yeah, course I would, I opened up the tanks and I moved right with them. Lotsa shots into the trees. I didn't bring any really heavy busters. Rail-rifle and a day-off special kind of gun." Subject makes a small crunch, informing me she has finished her sweets.

Would now be a good time to discuss your frame's specifics?

"Oh, you want me to brag about my Loverboy?" Subject is grinning at me. She seems smug.

I'm merely trying to follow your flow, Miss Wax- I feel it'll get me the best information for my report and articles. It's important to engage subjects for primary sources at their level. That is how I feel you get the best stories for the record- the people who lived it. I'm going to edit this interview with context points, an article that folds out like a flower.

[The subject smiles again me, using the stick of her lollipop to point in my direction.]

"Orbital Combat Frame Lot Zero-Nine-Nine, Bonney Model, Hi Mobility Custom Type. My Loverboy. He's the real deal, not like the basics those oldtypes in Trunk Security use. Overhauled his engines, all-theater graded with some parts I stripped outta one of those Cinnibars that the Smiths like to fly in."

The Smith-Shimano Cinnabar? The fleet asset?

[Subject nods, flicks her trash towards the bin, then continues. She seems happy to 'brag' and watch the small stick drift through the air.]

"Worked the All-Theater under his hood, hooked it to that minovsky core I got printed up, run him hot as he oughta be. Let the heat bleed out the fingers, a burning hand of sunlight- ain't that what every girl wants to hold?" Subject does not wait for me to answer. "Pulls speeds in excess of fatal for the oldtype, unconscious for the unborged, and perfect for me. Got my own replacement tendons and a couple of backup pumps layered here and there- just to make Her perfect for Loverboy's kind of movement. If I don't have to listen to reason, I can fly beyond the hold of Gravity. Even on a mudball like they sent us too. Kitted to bear against the nasty little shits you tend to run into with oldtypes and their skirmishes- chaff, hellfire launcher, a couple of my Loverboy's spare brain-drives set like gemstones in the guns. Mute-drives that help the rail-rifle scream and the trunk special to roar. Kitted to handle all fucking comers downwell."

That helpfully covers your frame and provides our future listeners with understanding of its use at tactical scale. At the campaign scale, it's still quite... odd, to use an Orbital Combat Frame as part of a ground invasion force, especially against a walled position like Morta, wouldn't you agree?

"Is... is that what the town was named? It didn't have walls when we got there."

Yes.

"Okay, well, the birdies had pounded it pretty fucking flat, no walls no trees, no nothing but for a half-full bin of ammoprinters and the biggest fucking rock-chucker I have ever seen. I used to work in asteroid mining back on Ketherese, right? We'd crack them open, use mass-drives to hurl the bits back. Paleo-oldtypes had done some whack shit, the most busted fucking rock-slinger I've ever had the pleasure of seeing." Subject moves her position again, gently pushing off the seat. She curls her knees to her chest, hands loosely clasped in front of her ankles. She seems to be enjoying the spin-gravity of the UNS-CV Paris. "Those tinsteel reactionary wet dream idiots had strung together a rock-flinger with some rails off a cannon one of the Everests had on it, they were acceleratin dumbfire rockets out of it instead of stone."

And that would be the Lilypad, I presume.

"It looked kind of like a cock."

Thank you.

"Do you think there's something about Babylon that makes oldtypes want to make giant dick-guns to lose wars with."

Would you mind describing the methods used to bring down the Lilypad?

"Yeah. Inkgirl had her stained fingers in a couple of pies, got a few locals who knew how to work shaped charges we had in the graytreads, a couple of squads of stiff-suited baby-grays to escort 'em to the rock-slinger and kick it over with plastique kisses. And we were gonna make sure the baby-grays didn't have a chance to lose their shit."

And how did the Mechanized Strike Team manage that tactic?

"Well tallgirl sallied up and started yellin at the Bronze Birdies in that great and grand pigshit crownfuckers call langauge."

Old Karrakin?

"Yeah that. Was declarin names and calling for trial by combat with the biggest, shiniest bird of all. This fucker had a command horn and everything on the shitbox ride some poor paleo-oldtype chained by the wet dreams of Babylon managed to scav together out of GMS parts. He thought he was such hot shit, at the head of his gaggle of Babylon-baby Everests. Stepped up with a swagger in that wreck, his boys at his flank, nodding along to tallgirl's routine. That's when soldierboy put one through his ride's thigh. [Subject laughs.] Loverboy took off and started laying the fire down from heaven, Ivy-thinker and tallgirl just started sprinting towards the birds. Then the rockslinger went off."

The explosive charges detonated early?

"Nah. Rockslinger fired, a big dumb shitty round directly at us. Loverboy n me, we were fine, easy to dodge a dumbfire. Ivy-thinker had to haul ass to get outta the way, and soldierboy dug the fuck in."

And Civilian Observer Irene?

"Tallgirl walked through the barrage like it was nothin, cause she was wearing the flames as much as they were trying to eat her. I'd call it beautiful if I didn't think she was gonna put a needle in your eye if you asked her what her family did to afford such a nice fuckin suit, or the name of the doctor what touched her meat up."

Subject ceases all motion for approximately 6.7 seconds, only beginning to show animation again when she finally gently settles back onto her seat.

"It was just a fight after that. Those scrap-Everests were nearly tough as real things. Don't know how much of their tinsteel I had to chew through. Remember that soldierboy got himself a crown."

Could you explain that turn of phrase for me?

"Headshot, clean as fresh filters. I folded a little paper crown for our soldierboy and hung it from the cannon of his ride before I left. Wonder if he ever found it?"

Would you say the Bronze Thrushes were above your expectations for the enemy forces?

"Mm." Subject has yet to move from her fetal pose. "Not too much more. They actually put us through our paces. But when you're good you don't sweat just getting up to tempo, right newsie?"

I suppose not, would you mind continuing your description of the battle?

"Oh yeah, Ivy-Thinker and tallgirl closed on most of the birdies, I saw the damnedest thing out of the thinker's ride. Just pinned one of the birdies  down like she was playing with samples in the lab. Big stake, hummed in silence, drove through. And I kept firing and she kept moving to go fight the birdie with the command horn. Tallgirl cleaned up the one that got pinned down. More and more and more of those shitbox rides, the half-builts, the not-even frames start pouring in, we're throwing up a ruckus and tallgirl actually gets wounded, which I didn't think that nice a suit would allow. My Loverboy gets dinged up in the spin of it all, so I suppose we just mark that up to being stuck in atmo, huh newsie?" Subject is now sitting.. normally? She has moved to lean against the table, holding herself millimeters above the chair. "We get rocked and roughed a little from the sheer numbers, but you know, I had enough ammo, and so did soldierboy. Professional that one. Good for him. Ivy-thinker's ride started puttin scapels into things and I just kept pushing dipshits closer to tallgirl and let that nice nice swarm she paid for handle it. Unpapered crowns are good for the garbage, I guess?"

Subject makes a noncommittal grunt and shrugs, settling into her seat at last.

"We kept going and going, until the tinsteel finally ran out and the inkgirls and knightboys got the hell outta there. And then the rockslinger cooked off. Reaallll impressive. Newcycle kind of vibes." Subject refers to derivatives cultural festivals of the new year, modified for nonterrestial cultures. "Very shiny. Fun as hell."

Were you aware of the follow up operation Union enacted after Seventh Step, Blue Nomad?

"Nope. I was tryin to get out of there quick as I could. Back up to the Oleander at the very least. Left the oldtypes to their own businesses. It ain't my fuckin problem unless Union decides to pay me about it."

So you left the front?

"Yeah." Subject gives another noncommittal shrug. "The Paris came by to start dropping shit off to support Oleander, and I hitched a ride on the Paris out this way. Supposed to be headed for the Long Rim. Anything else, newsie?"

I don't think so. If you could just forward me the information from your frame via omni? I believe otherwise our interview is over.

"Fantastic."

With the Union Historical Bureau, Active Front Correspondence Division, Kalacharri Commission, this has been Mu Ortena interviewing Miss Allison Wax. Thank you very much for your time, Miss Wax, and for your memories.

"Memories are the only Gravity you can't shed, newsie. So take the orbit and run with it."

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

FIC MASTERPOST!!

Hi, I'm Basil, I write fanfics sometimes. Some of them are fun and funky AUs, so feel free to send asks about them! I'll elaborate on anything, even if it's a oneshot from forever ago. There's bound to be something from it rattling around in my brain that wasn't fully discussed in the fic!

Here's my AO3

My writing tag on tumblr (I can't guarantee you'll find everything you're looking for on here, and I absolutely can't guarantee you won't find posts that are just. Links to AO3. So honestly it's best to go to AO3)

How to Request/Commission a Fic from me

Be Warned: I do write crossover fics. They have their own dedicated section on here :) Additionally, some stuff that's currently on my AO3 will not be linked here- anything before 2021 is a no go. You're free to read it, though! It's just for fandoms that I'm unlikely to write for again, so I'm not going to bait people like that by putting it on the list. Also, I was an infant when I wrote those fics.

Other than that, the list is below the cut!

CHALLENGE FICS, MISCELLANEOUS WORKS, AND ONESHOTS

Okay, right off the bat, there's no way I can individually link and describe all of my oneshots. There's too many. Here's what I can do:

Link all of my fics that came from tumblr asks

Link all of my BTHB fics (I do have a second card that I'll bring back eventually for prompts from tumblr)

Link all of my Afohiko (All for One x Gran Torino) fics, which is mostly oneshots

Link my Whumptober 2023 fics, which are all oneshots. No, not all of them have been posted yet, but IT'S GONNA HAPPEN

Link my Febuwhump 2024 fics, which are MOSTLY oneshots. No, not all of these have been posted yet, either, but they WILL

Link my Tim Stoker is Entity Catnip series, which are all fics where Tim gets picked up by different Entities. Mostly oneshots

There are more oneshots that are not in any of these series-es! This is because I'm insane! They'll be found in their respective fandom categories.

MY HERO ACADEMIA

MHA is my most written-for fandom. If you're exclusively in one of the other fandoms on this list, I apologize for the scroll in advance. This section is in alphabetical order, by the way.

Incomplete Fics

the gremlin zone - Your garden-variety group chat themed crack fic. It's centered around the Todoroki siblings, and also I'm halfway convinced that it's sentient. The plot goes without my consent. Don't ask what's going to happen in its future because I know just as much as you do

how to live with yourself - Fuyumi killed a guy when she was 13. That's it, that's the premise, except for the fact that it's slowly revealed that there may be more to this AU than just that. Some people have their secrets, and it's only a matter of time before they all come out one way or another.

in love i've always been a mercenary - Shimura Nana harbors a fugitive who's trying to go legit, except for the fact that the fugitive is All for One's ex-husband and there are some details that just don't add up quite right.

One Loop at a Time - Your garden-variety time loop themed crack fic. This one has slow updates; I have this awful habit of writing one chapter of a thing and taking forever to continue it, and this fic is a victim of that AND its chapters are long as hell. If you're willing to deal with that, it's a time loop where each member of 1-A (and possibly more!) is slowly brought into the loop, and they slowly go from "normal 1-A" to "crack 1-A" as the loop keeps. On. Going.

Sins of the Father - Midoriya Izuku is the son of All for One. This means that he's All for One's most prized possession, in addition to his own personal attack dog. There's no hope of escape, and even if there were, would he even deserve to take that opportunity?

some heroes wear masks (some of those masks are stolen) - Midoriya Izuku is quirkless, jobless, and completely down on his luck. Mom's bills are only getting higher, while Dad's contributions and her paychecks are only getting smaller. There's an offer for anyone available, a huge payout for whoever takes it, except that it comes with the territory of being a villain. Izuku needs that payout, but he can clear his conscience while he's at it.

We all fall apart - Touya and Fuyumi were both trained by Endeavor to be heroes. Both of them are dead. Natsuo desperately wants to protect Shouto, Shouto just wants him to live a life for himself, and neither of them are okay. The Todoroki family is a wreck, and to top it all off, there's no way in hell that Dabi is anything human.

Incomplete Series

Everyone's a Hero (1-A Fics) - Okay, this one's full of fics that are disconnected from each other. They're all different AUs. The one thing they have in common is that each and every one of them focuses on a member of Class 1-A, even the ones that don't get much characterization or screentime. They all get a fic. As of right now, it only contains one fic, but more will be added soon!

The Phantom of Shinomori Prefecture - Fuyumi is the Baby Driver of this AU. She's also in contact with Dabi. Endeavor has a ton of fancy cars that he doesn't drive, Rei's a Russian immigrant, and Touya and Fuyumi both drive like maniacs.

the todofam-plus-izuku's adventures in vigilantism - Izuku decides to be a vigilante. Natsuo is an established vigilante. There will be more of them.

Complete Fics

All the eggshells are on the ground - Oneshot. Villain Gran Torino and Hero Shimura Nana. They're... kind of a thing? She can fix him

And so the gods were pulled down from the Heavens / And so the gods were pulled up from the Earth - Oneshot. Something about old gods?? I don't remember tbh I wrote this a long time ago. Funky narration tho

Blackjack - Oneshot. Touya knows how to count cards. He still remembers it years later, when he goes by Dabi instead.

The Inconstant Nature of Hatred (it's a spark, it's a flame, it's a dying ember but it's not gone yet) - Oneshot. Dabi character study, also from a long time ago. He thinks on his situation, just before he gets the call to join the League.

Sharpened Teeth (Won't Be Broken) - Oneshot. Toga Himiko meets a responsible healthcare provider who follows child protection protocols!! Amazing!!

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

TMA is my second-most written for fandom, and before you ask, no I have not listened to Protocol yet. You will know when I do, trust me. Again, this section is in alphabetical order.

Incomplete Fics

fireworks (and their ashes) - Tim is a Desolation Avatar, and post-Unknowing, he Becomes and then he abandons the Archives/Institute. Jon wakes up from his coma and everything kind of goes to shit? It gets better. Mostly.

Jonathan Sims Is Dead In The End - So you know how "The Archivist goes back to their S1 body and does time travel fix-it from there" is a whole genre of TMA fics at this point? Yeah. This is that. Except the Archivist isn't Jon, and the original timeline is nothing like our original timeline. Also, the ending isn't all that happy, in case the title didn't clue you in already.

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat - Your garden-variety group chat themed crack fic. Archival assistants start a group chat, uncover a conspiracy, and act terminally stupid, not necessarily in this order. This is another fic that I'm half-convinced is somewhat sentient. I don't have any input on this plot

Watchers - Tim Stoker is an unwilling agent of Beholding. This is set before the Unknowing, so a big learning curve is happening for both himself and Jon. Also, I'm still taking bets on what the endgame ship is going to be, because I know myself well enough to know there will be a ship but I have no idea who's going to be involved in it.

Complete Fics

Elias Bouchard: Post-Mortem - Twoshot. Jonah Magnus decides to possess some loser Elias Bouchard, except "some loser" Elias apparently had some secrets that even Jonah isn't in on.

Goodbye, from a Human Monster to an Inhuman Beast - Oneshot. Annabelle Cane waits for the apocalypse.

TMA/MHA CROSSOVERS

Yes, this specific fandom crossover has its own section. I'm terminally insane.

Incomplete Fics

Closed Doors - Todoroki Rei is a Lukas on her father's side. This has had a marked effect on the Todoroki family. Additionally, some other suspicious things are afoot, and Japan is becoming more dangerous by the day. Nobody is safe from the games being played by those in the shadows.

The Series (!!)

These Statements Certainly Have Their Quirks (Main Series) - The Series. When I refer to "my crossover verse," this is what I'm talking about. Jonathan Sims thinks that something's going down in Japan, so he takes Statements from prominent individuals who may be involved.

TMA/BNHA crossover brainrot <3 - The exact same as the above, but this series also contains bonus content and AUs directly branching off of the above AU. Hence, it's marked as incomplete, so that I can keep writing bonus Statements and things even though the main series is complete :)

Complete Fics

Red Spatter - Oneshot. Statement of Todoroki Touya, regarding his younger sister. Blood/violence warning

Replacement (The Grape Needs to Go) - Oneshot. Mineta is replaced by Shinsou. I mean this very literally.

Shadow's Call - Oneshot. Statement of Uraraka Ochako, regarding recent power outages at her high school.

MISCELLANEOUS OTHER CROSSOVERS

Still terminally insane. There will be more in this section! I have a MHA/Tokyo Ghoul crossover in the works! It's going to be actually started when I don't have so many WIPs but there will be more!!

Complete Fics

hell isn't hot (not when the cold is so much worse) - Oneshot. Goncharov/TMA crossover, written in- you guessed it- November of 2022. Fun fact this is my only fic that has a podfic as of right now

I've got you / Under my skin - Oneshot. Unwind Dystology/TMA crossover, written mostly because I could. Hayden Upchurch is an Avatar of the Web, and if you know who that guy is, you understand a very particular kind of mental illness that this series inflicted upon me when I was a child.

Complete Series

Buzzfeed Unsolved/Markiplier Cinematic Universe (MCU) - Series. Buzzfeed Unsolved investigates Markiplier Manor from WKM. Just barely scrapes past the "nothing from before 2021" rule by virtue of procrastinating the last chapter until 2022. It's cute and silly and very 2019. The idea of doing more fake Unsolved episodes for fandom things is still kind of silly to me :) A little tempting :) (i am not implying anything directly but if you come to my askbox then maybe)

[thepodcasthoard]

How to Start a Podcast

Part 1

The second article Sydney kindly gave me is How to Start a Podcast by buzzsprout. Buzzsprout is also a hosting site, which you need when you start a podcast, so they have to know their stuff (according to the article, since 2009 they've helped three hundred thousand podcasts launch, which is impressive).

Buzzsprout breaks the process into ten actionable steps.

Develop a concept.

Define goals

Pick a theme/topic (they provide a whopping seventy-five in this article linked)

Find a niche

Name it (they have provided this article for further reading)

2. Choose a format

I didn't think about this before I read this article, but there are different ways to present podcasts- the article mentions interview, cohosted, scripted non-fiction, news, educational, and scripted fiction (and I will provide audio drama help as I conduct my own research and get information from podcasters about it).

The article goes over the 'optimal' podcast episode length, with some statistics, but the only thing that seems to be important they put in the first sentence: "Make your episodes as long as they need to be and no longer."

They also talk about an episode release schedule, with more stats.

3. Set up recording equipment

Of course they talk about microphones, including another article all about that aspect of podcasting, but apparently there are different types of microphones. I never knew that. They go somewhat in-depth about the different kinds, so I'll leave the technical reading to you.

4. Choose software

The article also talks about different software, from recording to editing. They give a few different options in the article, with links to each. I'm not sure if they get commissions based on how many people click through, so I'll leave you to go there to give them some love.

5. Record your first episode.

The article further breaks the process into smaller steps.

A) Write an outline (with further reading that includes templates)

B) Pick your recording room wisely

Before Sydney's post, I didn't know that sound travels different off of hard and soft surfaces, though I guess in retrospect I should have figured (echos in canyons, for example). I didn't realize it would make a big difference, but I guess it does.

C) Connect your equipment and set up your software

This is important- make sure you hit 'record' and everything's plugged in, folks.

D) Microphone technique

If you're going to speak into a microphone, learn to do it right.

E) Test different recording styles

Test for quality.

6. Edit

They provide an article for further reading. In the main article, they break it into broad steps.

A) Make sure the intro and outro are engaging

Hook the listener right away.

B) Edit for content, then everything else.

Start with big cuts, then move smaller.

C) Fade between tracks

Apparently, cutting audio can sometimes make clicks and pops in the recording. Who knew?

D) Create a punch list

I guess this is a to-do list.

Then when all that's done, you export it! They throw a bit of technical jargon at you (what the heck is an ID3 tag?) but thankfully, it seems to be fairly simple with this podcasting host site. I'm not sponsored by them, it just seems easy enough for beginners.

7. Create podcast artwork.

They also include five tips for that.

A) Visually communicate the subject

B) Design for a variety of sizes

C) Don't use too many words or fonts

D) Avoid 'podcast imagery' (microphones, for example)

E) Keep your brand consistent

They provide a few sites for people to create artwork, so that's cool.

8. Set up podcast hosting

To be honest, this confused the Hell out of me. But there are a few videos about it they linked at the end of the step, so feel free to read the full article and watch them.

9. Get listed in podcast directories

More technical stuff, but I guess that you need the last step- hosting- to actually get onto Spotify or Apple podcasts or any other site/app.

10. Launch and grow

The article goes over two ways to launch- grand and soft- and a few other things like imposter syndrome. It talks about seven marketing tips.

A) Tell friends and family

B) Create a buzzsprout ad

C) Post episodes on social media

D) Join groups and forums

E) Cross-promote with other podcasters

F) Overcast ads

G) Create a call to action

The article also recommends celebrating, and I'm always down for a celebration. Don't be embarrassed it's about your own achievements, or feel like it's needlessly self-congratulatory or self-centered. It seems like a ton of work, so give yourself some credit!

[gauze-valley]

Whumperless Whump Event Day 1

Prompt: Emergency first aid, self done stitches

Finished my first post for @whumperless-whump-event's first prompt a liiittle late but I did it! This snippet is a precursor to. The only other thing I've written on this blog, which you can find here and here (in order!)

If u like the whole "caretaker has to care for themselves and suck it up so they can be there for people" trope, this might be for you!!

my stuff for this event probably won't be too polished, sorry about that! I'm just here to actually get myself to write :')

CW: Graphic description of self-suturing a wound, needles, graphic description of pain, laceration

[~1 and a half pages, 3rd person POV, OC/non-fandom]

If nothing else, at least the wound is only leaking. The stasis spell has held up surprisingly well, but the mirage-like waves in the magic aura around the wound tell Ira that he's made the right call in deciding it needs to be properly dealt with now, if the pain hadn't said as much already.

But he's exhausted. His limbs ache and there's a weight pulling on his body. He hasn't been off of his feet since early in the morning. A small reckless part of him says to recast the spell and lay down for a bit- what's the harm? He'll be closing this thing himself, and surely he could do it better with a little rest.

That'd be stupid, though. The overuse of healing magic is a risk for most already, let alone someone like Ira, whose mixed essentia halfway wants to reject every bit of holy magic that enters his body. He'll already be feeling the effects of this tomorrow, he's sure, and a second cast could put him entirely out of commission.

It's with a slow reluctance that he goes about cleaning the wound, sterilizing the area and wiping away the topmost layer of blood so he can actually see the edges More begins to seep out in response, but it's slow- the spell is still holding, and it's far more long than it is deep, so it seems safe to close. Unfortunately, the pain suppression is beginning to wear off, but that's all the more reason to get this over with.

Staring into the bathroom mirror, he tries to steel himself, conjure the motivation. He's done things like this before, in fact, he's done much worse procedures on himself than stitching a simple laceration, but his head is pounding and he just wants today to be over. Not that tomorrow will be any better. He's still needed- he won't be resting unless this gets much, much worse, and he intends not to let that happen.

Pushing the needle through the skin is easy. His hands are steady despite how worn and heavy they feel. They always are. Gritting his teeth through the pain, trying not to let the feeling of thread dragging through the punctures disrupt his focus, is much harder. Every sharp tug makes his skin crawl with disgust.

Ira resists the urge to rush it, because he's smarter than that and it's difficult enough to keep it neat considering the awkwardness of having to look down or look in the mirror for guidance, but fucking hell, every time this process is prolonged by having to clear away the blood again, he wants to scream.

Finally, he ties off the sutures, giving a relieved sigh that he immediately regrets as a dull pain shoots through his entire side. He carefully cleans the remaining blood once again and properly dresses the wound before throwing on a loose T-shirt. Now all he needs to do is clean up here before Six and Joy get back.

A ringing from the other room interrupts his thoughts. His phone. Muttering curses to himself, he walks over to snatch it off the bed and answers.

"Yes?"

"Chaplain Stepford, um, I'm sorry to bother you, but Chaplain Hart is busy and so is everyone else and-" Ira pinches the bridge of his nose. Of course, it's Clea. Can the acolytes not go an hour without his supervision?

"Is it urgent?" He interrupts, his tone short and exasperated.

"Not… exactly right now, but it could be. I think Lane's making a bad call about something and he won't listen to me."

"About what exactly? Spit it out." God, he knows he should be receptive to his students coming to him for help, but just once it'd be so nice if literally anyone else could deal with it.

"He wants to completely seal a wound, because he thinks-"

That's all he needs to hear. Lane should know better, but of course he doesn't. Of course he'd not only overestimate his own skill but completely disregard all warnings about only using drastic magic when it's completely necessary. "No. No, absolutely not. Tell him that if he does that without my approval, I'm releasing him from my mentorship."

"I already tried telling him that that'd probably happen. He said I'm just upset because we have different ideas. Can you come talk to him?"

"I'll be there in less than ten. Make it very clear to him that his ass is expelled from the program if I get there and that wound is mended shut. He's far from skilled enough to attempt that, I don't care how much he's read about it. If he insists on being a moron before I can get there, find another chaplain immediately."

"Okay, thank you-" Ira hangs up before Clea can finish. Really, he should probably thank her for bringing this to his attention, but all he can think about right now is how much worse the pain is getting, and how long it'll be before he can collapse into bed, and the utterly overwhelming thought of being on his feet all day again tomorrow, but this time with a fresh wound.

Forcing himself to struggle back into his robes feels like a monumental task. He doesn't even bother to take off his casual clothes first, he just wants to get this over with quickly and without bending his side, as much as he can avoid it.

He pops a couple of over-the-counter painkillers before he leaves, hoping that'll be enough for now.