#100daysoffiction

[adarrahjoriza]

day 3

pride and prejudice (2005)

this is a rewatch (obviously) but it counts because it is one of my absolute favorite movies as a jane austen girlie and i would never miss the chance to talk about it. immediate 10/10 i wouldn't even need to explain. if it's not mr. darcy confessing his love amid pouring rain and elizabeth bennet fiercely rebuking him, i don't want it. no one does slow burn enemies-to-lovers like jane austen anymore. no wonder i couldn't stand men in high school. they could barely string two coherent sentences together let alone be as eloquent. men written by women will forever have my heart. one can only dream of living up to darcy's integrity, and loyalty, and his breathy miss-elizabeth-i-have-struggled-in-vain-and-i-can-bear-it-no-longer-these-past-few-months-have-been-a-torment-i-came-to-rosings-with-the-single-object-of-seeing-you-i-had-to-see-you-i-have-fought-against-my-better-judgment-my-family's-expectations-the-inferiority-of-your-birth-my-rank-and-circumstance-all-these-things-i-am-willing-to-put-aside-and-ask-you-to-end-my-agony-i-love-you-most-ardently.

[whatiwanttohear-blog]

Day 2

Jack's POV:

Why is Ava sitting all alone on the other side of the classroom? I guess it's a bit weird to assume that we're best buds a day after we met... I feel bad for her though. Maybe I should try and message her? Wait what am I saying? We're in the middle of class and I message her like 'Oh hi, I'm sitting on the opposite side of the room and I've been staring at you this whole time wondering why you aren't sitting next to me right now' yeah that'll go down really well Jack.

I have a message anyway...

Ava: Why are you staring at me?

Damn.

Jack: Sorry I was in a world of my own. How you settling into lessons?

In a world of my own? What kind of excuse is that?

Ava: It's been okay I guess, just trying to buckle down into the work there's a lot to catch up on.

Jack: Well you can always join me if you need help, you don't have to sit all alone.

Ava: Thanks, I think I’ll stay here for now though, this tutor seems pretty strict on us being quiet and getting on.

Jack: Yeah you're right, well good luck with the work.

Well that went well... I think.

Ava: Oh by the way I was wondering if you'd mind showing me around the college a little after class? I'm not that confident about finding my way around and I don't wanna be late for any classes.  

Jack: Of course, no problem. I'll wait outside for you when we're done.

Ava: Thank you, I really appreciate it!

I better not screw this up, I might actually gain a college friend out of all of this! Finally someone here who isn't judging me based on my blog!

[adarrahjoriza]

day 9

extraordinary (2023)

i don't know if it's because of trademark uk dry humor or how they color-grade their shows in a manner that mimics what i can only assume most of their days look like (with little to no sunshine) but extraordinary is so, so fleabag-coded. i'm in love with female protagonists that have no idea what they are doing. i want more shitty role models. more women that allow women to be human and make mistakes and be horrible, selfish creatures before getting it all together (or maybe even without that as the end goal!) we love to see representation. (and beyond that, it's just refreshing to have women as people instead of characters needing redemption arcs and happy endings. what if we are all just shitty and that is okay. not morally sound, perhaps, but okay. human.) an 8/10!

[adarrahjoriza]

day 2

just like heaven (2005)

very honestly this should be a 5/10 but i am generously giving it a 6. only because it's set in the early 2000s (and i am a sucker for nostalgia) plus it has mark ruffalo (who i am an even bigger sucker for). the winding misogynistic spiel against the next-door neighbor wearing workout clothes in the middle of the day and the slut-shaming absolutely turned me off. what a god-awful script. then again, this was filmed in 2004. and i guess mark's laura monologue semi-made up for it. but there are better romcoms out there and i feel i would have been better off skipping this.

[adarrahjoriza]

day 1

the way he looks (2014)

i can't lie i wanted to give this a low 6/10 just because it looked and initially felt like it was going to be sad. also, mentally i'm in a bad place this week and the poignant feel of it was just making me feel more down. but this is a 9/10 and is not actually as sad as i expected. which says a lot, because often artsy, coming-of-age, lgbt-related films i watch always end up in tragedy. that makes me want to cry!!! almost threw up (bec of my anxiety) throughout some of the more standard lgbt scenes in this movie (i mean the bullying. which i'm mad i am calling standard. but they're always there. on one hand, i know the realities have to be depicted, but on the other hand i can't stop myself from reeling from anger because why must people be assholes?) and i wish all fabios a very fuck-you-hope-you-have-a-bad-rest-of-your-life.

this was a really good movie to start on. it made me want to cry at the end. the lgbt community deserves more happy endings. i'm tired of call me by your name-esque stories of romanticized predatory men and people never ending up together. gay people have to end up together. the world has made them suffer through enough to not at least get the ending they deserve. i love this movie a lot. it knocks off 2 cool 2 be 4gotten (2016) straight off my 'fave lgbt movies' list. it doesn't beat the half of it (2020) for me though.

[adarrahjoriza]

day 8

only murders in the building: season 2 (2022)

this should count for multiple days as i did binge the entire season but i'm too lazy to figure out how the numbers work so who cares. i love this series, 10/10 as always. it has everything childhood me would have found comfort in: a good mystery, light-hearted comedy, a dash of chosen family and, most importantly, selena gomez.

[adarrahjoriza]

day 10

fresh off the boat (2015)

something about this feels comfortable and healing. i'm only on the first season (and i'm not sure i'll be bingeing the rest since i'm taking a break from sitcoms) but i was initially worried it'd turn out racist and handle stereotypes in the cheesy fashion which most products of hollywood emanate. while i don't relate to the specific asian-american experiences of cultural assimilation, it feels warm being able to see parts of my culture being shown to a broader audience. i read up on it a bit and found that this was the first asian-american sitcom in two decades (this being defined by how the sitcom revolves on an asian family-slash-household-slash-cast) and while i would have given it a lower rating (only because what exactly is new with sitcoms i guess?) this fact alone has made it feel more endearing so i'm at a 7/10. i struggle to put into words how exactly i feel about the show, only because i'm in a bit of a personal slump and words have not been coming easy these past few days, but i saw something from someone named yvonne su that said this about the show. so i'm borrwing it.

"the way we grew up is not shameful, it's just another way. asian parents are different, but not less."

i feel the same way, so strongly, in a different perspective which has somehow been amplified by the fact that i've come back home. being raised in poverty and seeing the huangs' comedic, tightfisted antics has made me feel somewhat seen.

[adarrahjoriza]

day 7

the menu (2022)

this movie gave me anxiety. tyler reminded me of someone that hurts to remember, especially when he called margot a child. i read something earlier today. it said something along the lines of: if you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. you will find him even when he is not there. and if one day you find that there is no angry man in your house, well you will find one and go invite him in.

i don't think i'll be talking much about the movie at this point.

tyler reminds me of someone that made me feel small and looked down on. even if that might not be all there was to that person -- and while they were obviously not the psychopath tyler was -- even if they were also kind, and compassionate, and loving, and gave me more than i asked... all i can think about is my scorn.

i don't think i can rate this objectively as i'm typing this while only half-way through the movie and all i feel is a heaviness in my chest. it's good. but it is bringing back such bad memories. i don't think i can rate this objectively as i'm typing this while only half-way through the movie and all i feel is a heaviness in my chest. it's good. but it is bringing back such bad memories.

update (might contain spoilers): i got through the whole thing and it felt easier to breathe when tyler died. fuck all tylers. not that i dated one, because his character was a different plane of fucked up, but he was such a trigger i fucking hate that dude. anyway. good movie but something felt lacking i can't put my finger on it my nervous system is still reeling 9/10.

[adarrahjoriza]

day 6

triangle of sadness (2022)

i've been gone for a week because work has been stressful as fuck and i had been trying to finish this one film in the span of four days but i keep having to stop because i find myself running out of the capacity to absorb anything. those four days of shot time span aside, this was brilliantly made. my favorite scene is the banquet of vomit and diarrhea. undoubtedly a 10/10.

[adarrahjoriza]

day 5

glass onion: a knives out mystery (2022)

my god i love this franchise. what is reality?!?!?!?! a 10/10 compared to the first but honestly only because i've gotten used to the format (blend of anxiety-inducing yet kooky mystery and comedic relief in the form of benoit blanc) so i felt a lot more at ease watching the entire thing knowing (assuming) all would fall into place eventually. this feels like nancy drew for adults. the ending is so much better than i could have ever imagined. i'm obsessed.

[adarrahjoriza]

day 4

knives out (2019)

i initially wanted to rank it low because !!! this movie is insane !!! immediately as it begins there are so many things going on !!! but this is a 9/10. i felt very much like marta, in a constant state of wanting to puke (only mine was out of anxiety). it kept me on edge the entire time because i was constantly afraid she'd get caught and it was hard to bear that while also rooting for her. in the end, i felt relieved and stupefied at the twist. it seemed like an obvious alternative (not that obvious, but i mean?? switching vials??? please, i was raised on agatha christie) but i was so distracted by the knot in my stomach that i didn't have time to think about anything else. also, chris evans. a very good distraction. what a hot villain. from now on, all villains must be hot to make up for their moral turpitude.

[whatiwanttohear-blog]

Day 1

Ava's POV:

Pull yourself together, it's a just a message, what have you got to lose? Just send it, stop deleting it then typing the exact thing... oh god I’m pathetic.

Ava: Hey, I hope its okay to message you like this? I'm sure you're probably busy but I just wanted to say I’m sorry for earlier.

Instant regret. Why does it sound so much worse in your head after you've sent it? Great way to look like a complete stalker. He's been on my friends list for five minutes and I send that. Oh great he's seen it...

Jack: Oh hey, no it's cool I’m guessing you were at the party tonight? I'm sorry my memory is awful, there were so many people there.

He doesn't even know who I am?! well done you've really excelled at embarrassing yourself today.

Ava: Yeah, I was the girl who tripped falling down the stairs and almost killed you.

Yep, that's great Ava, just carry on making yourself look more creepy.

Jack: Ohhh! I remember... don't worry I’m just glad you didn't hurt yourself.

Ava: Oh no don't worry! It's my own fault for spending more time hiding upstairs than socializing. Thanks for helping though.

Jack: I get what you mean. I'm pretty awkward myself. No need to thank me, I didn't really do anything I just asked if you were okay.

Ava: Well I appreciated it. You looked like you enjoyed the party though! :)

Really Ava? A smiley face... Please stop

Jack: I've been to so many that they just aren't as exciting as they once were. I haven't seen you at any college parties before, are you new?

Ava: Yeah, Just started the course. I know it's late but I like a challenge! I thought the party would help me get to know people before I actually started but I just ended up embarrassing myself.

Jack: Wow well it'll definitely be a challenge. You didn't embarrass yourself, you'll make friends before you know it.

Ava: Well I almost fell on top of the most popular guy at the party. I feel pretty embarrassed haha.

Jack: I wouldn't go that far, I guess a lot of people wanna know me because of my internet fame... although I don't really like calling it that either...

Ava: Internet fame? Go on...

Jack: See it sounds so lame every time I say it. I am by no means famous I just have a lot of followers on my blog, and I guess people are finding me a lot more interesting as my blog gets more recognition. It's bitter sweet really.

Ava: I don't know that seems pretty cool to me.

Jack: Don't get me wrong I have great people following my blog and I love doing it, but in my day to day life I find people who didn't like me or even bother with me before are suddenly best friends with me. I don't actually have many real friends.

Ava: Wow, I can imagine that's hard. For what it's worth, even though I’ve only known you a few hours, I feel like you're someone I could genuinely get on with.

Jack: Well seeing as you're new to the college, I'm sure we'll see each other often enough. If you need any help you know how to contact me!

Ava: Thanks that's great! I'm sure I’ll be needing it.

Jack: I best be off now anyway but I’ll see you around?

Ava: Yeah sure! Thanks again.

Well done Ava... Wanna say thanks any more? I really need to work on my people skills.

[whatiwanttohear-blog]

100 days of fiction

Hey so I’ve decided to make a promise to myself to read and write more often! So I’ve set myself a goal of writing a short piece of fiction everyday for 100 consecutive days! I want to make my stories open to everyone so i’ve decided to write in the style of messages between two people... These are not real people but I will be including some experiences I have had in the past! Hopefully you’ll enjoy, but feel free to offer suggestions!