#2 months :/ let’s be so fr
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i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do
#whole fkin campaign. idk still not sure how it was but man was in his peacock era for sure#n it's like i need to find a wife i need to make it in 2 (or whatever) months etc etc#but its like a bg task n he didn't speak bout it w others. like he just said that he needs to marry#also idk if i mentioned this but i wrote lauretta/carlo first meet long ago n she was w her fiance#i just listened to “pretty music” again sorry. i like that uh governor or tf this character is#changes his behaviour from one woman to another so real. n that fkin “but im a lucky guy who gets to dance w u”#and “since u know what i need i'll even take your lead” <- fr like im sure lauretta screwed him for several times#just to see if he's really serious good old manipulations w men nothing new nothing superstitious#upd. he probably made a mind budget for this (i mean finding a wife)#n bout lauretta screwing carlo its like in this ukranian song Ти ж мене пiдманула ти ж мене пiдвела#but since he's a strategist he's patient (like i wanted to accent this quality sm i wrote#that carlo started thinkin bout taking moretti's place back in 1932)#anyway. “Challenge accepted” situation and idk fr for some reason when it's carlo eddie lauretta it's always bout playing#so lauretta started playing n he entered this play too. i don't even think he was exactly mad (maybe only for the 1st time)#at this point i have a clear image of how they met n their first dates (cringe word) n how he proposed#ie how it started how it ended. ending was fast i believe (deadline is approaching 🤯)#what was in between i don't exactly know but i wondered just now if he also screwed lauretta (i think yes)#bc i don't knooowwww frrr all this is so bout playing to me#but bout ending its like. boss fight (<- sex) game credits (<- marriage) ((speedrun))#also i was thinkin if he even ever met lauretta's parents (i always thought that no but idk)#can imagine lauretta calling carlo a good friend. i also hm ok#i started to write a comic like a month ago just bout falcone polycule n it starts w#carlo who says that he finally needs to get married n lauretta's mother askin (in a pushing way) why#her n her fiance still aren't married like girl tf. she jinxed it i guess#upd. carlo/lauretta is funny in my head bc right before marriage he did fell in love lauretta didn't but guy's profitable we'll take him👍#she did only after marriage i think bc it was the time when u can finally relief bc it's over#u don't need to think bout no yes no no yes yes will it work or won't etc#woman was able to fucking chill at last. she got the money sorry i mean the man#he's not runnin away let's finally look who the fuck is even this man. why he won't shut up bout astronomy can i get a divorce <- jk#but yeah “я тобi брехала” is so lauretta right after marriage to me (“i dont even know the color of ur hair”)
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Nerissa's gay rizz has me swooning, jfc
#need her rn#hololive#nerissa ravencroft#and its KIARA TOO THE MOST ACTIVELY FRUITY MEMBER OF EN!!!!!!!!!#that raven is deffo gay idc what anyone says#someone said her gay energy is making up for shiori's heterosexuality and that made me snort LMAO#god i cant wait for the next coming months this is just her DAY 2#imma let her cook fr fr#both in interaction w others and in songs cuz Love Love is too good#someone also said shes like the suisei of EN which... omg ur right#i am so hyped for advent jshcjdbf
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#fr though i think last stage will drop some time over the next 2 weeks. or maybe even 3? no clue~~~~~#im hoping for a mona song thoughhh. she has almost enough songs for a second album now tbh. hm.#they wouldn’t announce a second mona album this year… right~~~~?#then again they drop new albums like every three months or so. so. like. hm.#if they do drop a mona album announcement on like 8/28 this year though… im manifesting an animation with asuna#asuna va plssssssss im beggignngjgngngngngngnfngng. there are so many possibilities for good vas for her auauauauauauaaaaa#(but tbh though. i think soramaru would make a good asuna. let asuna nico nico knee nozawa in the face pls)#anyway!!!! see y’all when the mv drops~~~~~ watch it be an unrelated mv with a bunch of new one-off ocs lmao
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…
#i'm always gonna work at my own pace but i've been sooo slow with writing!!#like the last cmi update's gonna be 2 months old soon lol and i am so excited for cmi11 but oh my gosh it's been so hard bc im like#'is that scene boring? too dramatic?? worth it all??' bc i want this chapter to be p e r f e c t so im worried of not doing it justice and#then my brain goes so blank!!!#worried about*#like the plot has my heart so i wanna do my best!! which is why it still might take a lil bit to finish and drop it#let's see! i don't wanna rush this one.. but i do also feel so badddd :')#i promise im gonna work extra hard on it n when it comes it's gonna be worth it !! or at least i hope so!!#i really hope you guys like it a lot :') don't let it flop LMAO!! 🙈 but fr cmi11 means a lot to me so any interaction is 🥺#the comfort is crazy in this one rlly rlly <33 so pls wait for me <3 sorry again <3 ily and ill do my best <333#fic: colour me in#might delete AHHH LOL
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!
#Seven.txt#my face#i have rematerialized back out of the void to once again make my once-in-a-blue-moon selfie & life update post#i’m running on 4 hours of restless sleep and the single banana i ate for lunch earlier today. let’s do this#hrrrrg i hate the lighting in my bathroom but i refuse to take pictures in the absolute Mental Illness Disaster Zone™️ that is my bedroom#anyways. got diagnosed with Mystery Pain Syndrome at the dentist today. so now i take ✨steroids✨#the less funny explanation is that my tooth still hurts with pressure nearly a month post-root canal and That’s Not Good#so we’re trying some new medications to see if that fixes it. and if not then who knows. root canal pt.2 the sequel. or extraction. sigh#and so the Dental Saga continues. todays visit went quite well in spite of the unforeseen mystery pain delaying the tooth-shaving plans#we had some time to kill so he managed to fill some of my other tiny cavities while i was there today so that’s good#okay moving on. what else. uhh. OH they finally came out and ran the fiber to the house last week!!! now i’m just waiting on one more-#-guy to come and finish the interior install and the long awaited fast internet will finally be mine eheheheheeeee#now i can feel my hours upon hours of unedited gameplay footage breathing down my neck :)#man i’ve got so much stuff piled up right now. i’m drowning in Tasks and it’s a lil overwhelming but i’ll handle it all! eventually#uhhhhm my current writing project is coming along well! i’ve never put so much time and effort into a oneshot before in my life#its a labor of love though and i think i’m gonna be really proud of myself (and the fic) once it’s complete#even if no one reads it bc it’s so goddamn self indulgent and kinda lowkey throws canon out the window but like. fuck it!#if i want Astarion to write a song on piano and perform it for me while mentally taking me on a trip down memory lane. then so be it#fr though i’ve never written anything quite like this and i rlly want to do it justice. even if its unrealistic i still want it to be Good#in other news i received word that one of the chickens i sponsor at my local Gentle Barn has passed away so i had a lil cry abt that#i feel so bad for his little tiny chicken wife. they obviously loved each other and it’s like. so sad when one half of an old couple dies#like. she pulled him out of his depression after his 1st wife died. now who’s gonna be there to pull Her out…#anyways let’s not get all sad about that again. in happier news my cat who i presumed died/got killed has returned home uninjured!!!#after that huge stray dog chased her into the woods i thought we’d never find or see her again#but then the morning after i started grieving her she showed back up hungry as hell yet completely unharmed like the enigma that she is#so that’s one definite highlight from earlier this month. uhh what else. rapid fire summary of the past few weeks let’s go-#Jersey turned 10! Bullet turned 10! my 6 year Veganniversary happened! i’m approaching 700 days on DuoLingo!#i’ve written more than 20 thousand words! i’ve been facing some fears! fighting my OCD! taking care of myself! (kinda!)#anyways things are far from being all sunshine and roses around here but i’m trying to focus on the good stuff for the most part#for now tho i have a headache and have reached 30 tags so it’s time to go shovel some mashed potatoes into my mouth :)
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(oh victory. stern talking to frm boss on diminished performance at work prompts local woman to finally book drs appointment and figure out wtf wrong w her <3)
#if only so i can hold up a paper and go please dont fire me. im only lacking the energy bc i havent properly digested food in about 2 months#i thought it was the stress of my abuser staying w my terminally ill mother or the increased work load you guys have been putting on me#but im STARTING to think it might be IBS a food allergy long term lack of nutrients OR. i mean cancer does run in one side of the family so#:'') ive been putting it off bc im scared to find out but. more scared of having to go back to unemployment not w my fucking rent babes#or would a serious diagnosis only INCREASE my odds of being let go bc they cant afford fr my state to worsen and need someone reliable?? aaa#not me hoping i get diagnosed: Deadly Disease Likely To Kill Me In Under A Year so i neednt worry abt anything beyond that limited time span#knowing full well it's wayy more likely to be like. make some minor changes to general life style and youll be fucking fine syndrome. anyway#whats up good morning i otherwise had a great weekend at the bbq and the free music festival. and i do have therapy later tonite
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A few weeks ago, maybe even months now, I went to the mall with my brother and in a weird little store that just sells the weirdest collection of inventory (it’s your one stop shop for all of the seasons of Fraser on DVD, a plushie of your favorite k-pop idol, Naruto themed Yahtzee, and a CD of Leeanne Womack’s I Hope You Dance!) we found this book, and I… wanted it. I wanted it. I wanted it very badly. I wanted it so badly that after we left the store, I started crying.
I had the money, but my mental health was also at an all time low and I felt guilty. Yes, L is one of my top ten favorite characters. Yes, I would love to read more about him and also Naomi and know at least when I read the last page, they’ll be okay for now. But who was I to want something so beautiful? What possibly made me think that I deserved it, with its beautiful black but silver embossed cover and it’s book ribbon and just high quality, beautiful book, even though I would unquestionably love it?
I went back to the store a few days later with my mom and wanted to show it to her, secretly hoping she would give me permission to buy it, but it was gone. I tried to be mature and put on a brave face and say that was okay because surely, whoever it belonged to would love it. You don’t buy a book like this without already loving the Death Note universe.
Now, my brother was a little late ordering my birthday (late August) gifts and also accidentally sent one to the last address Redbubble had used, which was one of his friends in another state and ever since has been waiting for the friend to send it to us. He has told me, however, that it’s a bag and there is also going to be something in the bag. They haven’t yet so Chet gave up on his plan of that and just told me to check my bookshelf, and sure enough, between I Am A Cat and You Feel It Just Below Your Ribs…
#death note#another note#just…#🥺#he watched me cry#but he didn’t offer to buy it for me#cause he knew I wouldn’t let him because it wasn’t about the money#so instead he came back to the mall later by myself and bought it#because polite manners would not allow me to reject a gift#especially one for my birthday#because my language of love is gift giving#just#augh I am so fucking lucky to have the brother I do#he fr is one of my best friends and I’m rly going to miss him for the next 2-3 months while we’re living apart#even though we’ll be in the same town
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didn't realize that it was weird to eat cereal with yogurt?
#these are a thing in ecuador guys and im sure the rest of latam#is it a thing here????#let me explain. in ecuador there is this lunch snack called a tony mix#standard and popular was like the sugary cornflakes (like the frosted flakes) and then strawberry yogurt. this was a fucking BANGER#from the brand toni which was like everything dairy it was actually so good. my fav yogurt flavour was blackberry#but tony mix it was strawberry#i once drank the peach one and i was so sick that night i still get flashbacks. i thought peach yogurt was the enemy fr#this yogurt btw does not have chunks. is not like the activia one. like you can chug this but it isnt liquid liquid#ANYWAYS. yogurt and cereal. once i was going to the movies with my dad#and they were giving out little cups (samples) with this cereal and yogurt with almonds and shredded coconut#and i had some and it was actually delicious#i was like 11 at the time. anyways that taste stuck with me for like a month so i begged my dad to find out what cereal it was#turns out it was kerglogs (idk the brand name but its the poppular red k one) vanilla almond. ever since i had that shit nonstop 4 breadfas#ANYWAYS COME TO CANADA FAST FORWAR 6 YEARS i forgot all about it#and then im laa dee daa-ing in my store and i see this fucking almond kerglogs cereal and im like wait a fucking minute#and its 799 because of course it is#so i rush to the dairy section and im like do we have strawberry yogurt is that a thing#and it IS. but its the more dense yogurt but i buy it anyways#RECAP. ive had about 2 servings now#i took some for my break and my boss was like ???#IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD#UGH
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sorry to overshare and i know its probably tmi but damn i need to rant
so i just had the worst fucking gynecology visit like im in legit disbelief over this doctor. he was SO rude and absolutely tactless, if i had met this man in any other circumstance i wouldve jumped his ass fr. my dad has bullied me over literally everything my entire life so im not. upset or offended by his remarks (tho a normal person would) but i am baffled
but the kicker is. turns out i have PCOS and THIS MAN DIDNT EVEN MENTION IT DURING THE VISIT. like AT ALL. he just kept telling me im fine i just need to lose weight, the entire visit was him going. you need to lose weight, you need to lose weight, why do u think ur not losing weight, ur eating too much.
i had to read i have pcos from the fucking report file, he didnt tell me i have it in person, he didn't explain what it is just that "u have some small problems but theyll go away if u lose weight" LIKE WHAT?????
i didnt feel safe at all so i didnt even mention i have a gf and i am sexually active bc like. this is a man who BTW started insulting me and pretty much calling me stupid for using an app to keep track of my period. IMAGINE TELLING THIS MAN IM GAY. so i lied which i know i shouldnt have but i was rlly uncomfortable so i just said "i havent had relations with men" and he started making some WEIRD AND GROSS AND UNCOMFORTABLE comments like how i am """ready""" for a man. im. i cant fucking believe this
#im never letting my mom book me another visit like this#i was so busy these past 2 months i had her do it for me#NEVER AGAIN#this man is never seeing me again#his tone was aggressive too#he asked my mom if she spoke italian when she saw shes albanian#CLEARLY SHE DOES SHES SPEAKING TO YOU DIPSHIT#this doctor is the culmination of everything wrong in a person#worst person ive EVER met#i hope he dies fuck him fr#not to mention all my life i had a hard time losing weight even on legit diets where i SHOULD be losing weight#knowing i have pcos explains SM#and he just brushed it off#epitome of doctors not seeing anything beyod weight#im not even fat like#sure im not super skinny but my bmi is like#27#just a little over the 'normal' category#im so baffled#and angry that this man is a doctor and will continue being a doctor#anyway sorry to everyone reading this but i had to get it out of my system#delete later
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im literally??????????????????
#i have left work every day this week like this ldkshfls#i am getting the worst assignments and they last months#“u are simply too good at ur job no one else can do it” DUDE FUCK U IM DYING#im being dramatic and a complainer but my god#ive been told “it's almost done” every day since february#let me out of this prison#dsflkhfdsflkhfdsklfdslkfsdlkdfslkfdslk#im so sorry 2 everyone reading this im just FR*CCIN STR*SSED#need to watch a badbatch about it#ive been having dreams with a badbatch in it so at least that makes me smile
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I fucking got the job lads!!!
#you are looking at yorkshire’s most okayist nature preserve employee#i’m mainly going to be working in their café i believe. and i start in 2 weeks :)#i’m just so glad i got it. everyone there is nice; the money is okay; it’s very accessible by car#and it looks like a simple nonstressful job#i’m just so glad i don’t have to work in education again for at least another six months#like yesss please let the biggest problem i face at work be a broken panini maker#actually no i don’t want to manifest that. that sounds terrible. but like. fr#i get to go see gannets on my lunch break!!!!! fucking BEHOLD#personal
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I LIVED, BITCH!
#idk if i passed the exam#most likely not but im not mad about it#it was hard. like really hard#like that kind of exam you look at and go 🤔?????????????#but yknow what. i did better than last term and that's what matters#miiiiiight get a 4/10 which is enough. id be happy with that#but fr the (unofficial) post exam discussion in the hall had us all looking at each other like. what was that. what the fuck was that#failing feels so much better when everyone's in the same boat. sad but true#good things: i have no classes until next wednesday. we have national holidays from friday to monday so 2 days less of work#i. will finally sleep. and do things that i enjoy. for the first time in 2 months#hopefully i can ace the next test and retake this one#because if i have to retake this course next year i will burn my university. just fucking watch me#anyway im really tired but the stress and the adrenaline wont let me sleep. and i have to work tomorrow 😭#will try to get some sleep. some shuteye. some zzzzzz snork mimimimimi#damn i wish i was a cat
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remind me never to look up a kpop group on here again, i was just looking for funny text posts and memes WHY ARE YOU ALL SO FREAKY 😭😭😭😭
#all i see is unabashed freakiness#i was not prepared#also sorry for the overuse of the word freaky but it’s the only word i can come up with rn#i didn’t see even a single meme but i saw so many smutty x reader one shots HELP ME#like not to shame anyone but i was shocked#kpop#i feel like as i get older i forget what it was like to be younger#even though i’m only 20#because i see some of the stuff people are writing and i’m like “’PLEASE YOU WERE BORN IN 2008’#as if 16 year old me wasn’t all over ao3#😔✌️#but fr what do you mean you’re writing hardcore smut about a kpop idol at age 15 😭😭😭 you are braver than i am girlie#can’t believe i’m already turning into a ‘kids these days’ person I’M SORRY#i really shouldn’t be so surprised at what i found but i let my guard down#but also it’s more about the sheer number rather than the existence of that makes sense#ok rant over#i’ll be back in like 2 months lol
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KOSA PASSES SENATE 7/30/24
Kosa has unfortunately passed the Senate on a 91-3 vote. I want this to be clear, It’s not going into effect, it still has to get to the House but I believe there will be a break for the month of August which gives us A WHOLE MONTH!! to call your HOUSE representatives and tell them to vote NO on Kosa. It’s not over yet so many people told their senators and representatives that they didn’t want KOSA. We can do it again, PLEASE do not panic and give up!! I know it’s scary I’m very scared right now myself but if we go silent that’s how it’s going to pass the House and get signed to the president. Let’s try to stop that from happening!!!
Call your house representatives!!!!there is more opposition in the House, we can stop it. BLOW UP THEIR PHONES!!
edit: hi everyone!! I’ve made a change to the way I worded this post, I would like to apologize about the confusion I may have caused. When I had meant by “barley passed the Senate” i meant it as a way of saying how so many people voiced their concerns for so long (I first ever found out about Kosa on 7/19/23) which lead it just now getting to the Senate floor for a vote due to the pushback and feedback they had gotten. I apologize if 1. I had confused anyone and 2. If I did not word this right lmao :,) keep calling you’re all doing great!! - audri⭐️
#anti kosa#kosa bill#stop kosa#kosa#fuck kosa#kids online safety bill#kids online safety act#bad internet bills#call your reps#this is so important that you call them
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Ode to the toontown yandere blogger
#God's strongest soldier#Sorry I'm still on about it because my foray into the nsftt part of Twitter revealed more information about that blog#For one: she got harassed off Twitter for no actual reason#For two: people are still being weird about her to this day#Everyone who was mean 2 her for being not so good at art can kill themselves fr (fat bitch 3 w feeder blog I mean you)#Also I'm going to play a new game called Guess Which Twitter Following Your Locked Page Is Mine#Y'all was right. I am a crazy evil black man that wants to fuck up your day bc you ruined my teetow gameplay#Months later#Never let it be said that I'm not patient
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