#then again they drop new albums like every three months or so. so. like. hm.

[deus-ex-mona]

[princessofprocrastination]

I Messed Up, Didn’t I? (Dream)

MASTERLIST

PART ONE!

pairing : dreamwastaken x singer!reader

summary :  after the breakup, he sees that you’re growing as a singer, while he’s suffering alone, but you don’t think that about him, seeing he’s growing on youtube. (PART TWO)

a/n : aaannnddd here’s the final part! 

a full year passes. 

you thought the pain in your chest would leave after a while. but maybe it doesn’t work that way since clay and you were together for a couple years. 

you were kept busy with the voice each week, every weekday, you were told to keep working on a new album. 

but whenever you had time alone in your house, you couldn’t help but think about it all. 

the cuddles on his gaming chair whenever you felt lonely at times while he played his games. 

or when you’d care for him whenever he would get sick since he would act like a baby. 

or that time when you both went to get fast food at 4am in the morning because you craved something that would be bad for you. 

or the little banters or debates you two would have about politics. 

or when he’d dive on the bed on top of you when he was in need of cuddles. 

it all comes back to the reason you broke up. 

you didn’t blame him. you didn’t blame yourself. 

you didn’t know who to blame. you couldn’t blame the internet since you got your job from it too. 

you were glad that you found a job that was your hobby. whenever you were mad or sad, you’d write it down, and send it to your team, and suddenly, it would become a song. 

you are glad that you have such supportive team and found yourself amazing friends. 

speaking of friends, you bought tickets for your two bestfriends to come see you and live with you for a while. 

you told them that you needed the companion and that your house has too many empty guest bedrooms that are waiting for people to sleep in. 

they accepted the invite and offered to buy their own tickets since you were already giving them a place to stay, but you told them you had already bought them tickets and that they didn’t have to worry about it. 

you knew they could afford it, they were just too humble to say it to their fans, but you knew better. 

hours before you had to pick them up from the airport, you made sure their rooms were fully ready. you picked the bedrooms most closest to yours because why not right? 

what those two didn’t know was that you had bought full gaming sets for them, monitors, keyboards, a pretty nice gaming chair. it was a pretty nice gaming set up, if you say so yourself. 

you bought them because you knew that those two cannot live a day without playing games or streaming. 

at first, they were hesitant on coming since you told them to stay for a couple months. they both knew they had to stream and post on their channels. it’s their jobs, after all. 

but you assured them that you’d find a way and to not worry about anything, and just worry about getting on that plane on time. 

you saw the time, took a photo of the gaming set up as you took a photo of sapnap’s earlier and walked out of george’s room, grabbing your car keys and leaving for the airport. 

you parked your car in the airport carpark and quickly went to the arrival hall to find those two crackheads. 

you were almost jumping at how excited you were. you couldn’t believe that this was going to be your first time meeting them ever. 

you waited at the side, making sure you still had a view of the automatic sliding doors of the arrival hall. 

you heard someone calling your name from behind you. as you turn your head, you saw a masked man holding a camera that was pointed at you. 

paparazzi’s can be annoying at times but you actually knew this guy pretty well and he is definitely not annoying. 

“what are you doing here?” the man asked you. 

“what do i look like i’m doing in front of the arrival hall, hm?” you sassed him a little, laughing towards the end of your sentence. 

“okay, who are you waiting for then?” he asked again.

your phone pinged a notification from the groupchat of you, george and sapnap. 

“just wait and see, they’ll come soon.” you told him, winking at the camera. 

you saw the two walk out of the automatic doors and you jumped slightly on your feet, waiting for them to come closer before you could give them the biggest hug. 

it didn’t take them long to spot you. you attracted a lot of attention, with the man with a very large camera next to you. 

as they came closer with their noticeably large luggage, you couldn’t wait anymore, running towards them to give them a bear hug. 

as you crashed into the two, they fell slightly back from the impact. 

you could hear the loud camera shutters as you hug two of your bestfriends. 

you three hugged for a while more before you moved off to answer some questions from the line of paparazzi’s.

you felt bad for attracting the crowd. people must be so confused on what’s happening. 

you three answered some questions, until you couldn’t wait anymore, you were excited to show them their room. the anticipation was killing you. 

“sorry, i think we need to go. i can’t wait to show them their rooms.” you told the line of paparazzi’s in front of you. 

a string of questions came out, asking what rooms and where and why was i so excited. 

“you’ll see soon, stay tuned on our social medias!” you told them before pulling your two bestfriends’ hands to walk out the airport to your car. 

they said their goodbyes and walked by you to your car, confused on why you had been so excited. 

george sat at the front with you, sapnap at the backseat. 

“dude, you own such a cool car.” sapnap said, admiring the details of your car. 

“close the door and you’ll see something cooler.” you told him. 

to which he closed his side of the door and waited. he looked up onto the car roof to see that there are stars on them. they light up as the car doors were closing. 

“holy shit damn.” george said, looking up as well. 

as you drove back home, you three caught up with each other’s lives. 

you found out that they still had been anxious about not posting anything for a couple months, but they’re happy to see you and stay with you. you smiled to yourself knowing how happy they’d be later. 

“i just can’t wait to see your house, honestly.” george said, from beside you. 

sapnap let out a big laugh, you and george soon following after. 

you parked in front of your house’ front door while the two stared in awe that their bestfriend lives in such a house. they’d often forget that they’re friends with such a rich singer. they only saw you as their friend, not someone famous. 

you laughed at the two, before exiting your car, to get their luggage from the back of the car. 

while they were still looking at your house, you took their bags out one by one, carrying some into the house. 

“you wanna come in or not?” you asked the two. 

they snapped out of their trance, taking their bags before following you to inside the house. 

“what the fuck.” “holy shit this is amazing.” were what the two said when they walked in. 

“so since we’re here, let’s put your bags into your rooms before we go get food. you guys can go shower too if you want, there are bathrooms in your rooms.” you told them, excited to see their reactions of the rooms. 

“there are bathrooms in our bedrooms? dude game over i’m moving in.” sapnap told you, still in awe of the house. 

you lead them to one of their room, telling them which room was which behind closed doors, not opening the door yet. you told them that your room was between theirs and if they needed anything, to ask you. 

you stopped at sapnap’s room, on the left of your room, and told them to wait. 

“before i open this door, i just wanted to say that i appreciate you guys dropping everything to come here. so here’s a little something for you two, i definitely didn’t forget about your jobs.” you explained to the two before opening the door. 

as you opened it slowly, you saw that they were confused. they still had no clue. good. 

sapnap’s gaming setup lit up as you opened the door, making the room look like a tiktok room. 

“holy- no way. you didn’t” sapnap said, turning to you, still in shock. 

“uh yeah i did, and there’s one of george in his room too.” you told them. 

“WHAT? no you didn’t.” george screamed in your ear. 

“go look in your room. i’m not lying.” you told him. 

he runs to open his room door, leaving his bags in front of sapnap’s room. sapnap and you followed to see his room. 

as george opened his door, his room too, lit up, just like sapnap’s.

“NO FREAKING WAY.” george jumped at his position in his room, staring at his set up in awe. 

“i had to, you guys dropped everything to be here. you still need to make videos. tell me what’s missing and it’ll come tomorrow.” you told the two boys, who were still in shock. 

“WHAT’S MISSING?, this is more than enough, thank you!” the two said in unison before running to you to give you the biggest hug. 

-

after that whole fiasco, the two boys got right into work with setting it up. you left them for the moment as you went to the kitchen to get dinner going. 

you thought since they just reached california after a long flight, they might not have the energy to drive all the way out to get dinner, so you just settled with making them dinner. 

while waiting for your pasta to cook and chicken to fry, you went on your phone. 

you weren’t surprise to see people shocked to see that sapnap and george flew to meet you. your feed was filled with photos and videos of your interactions in the airport. 

you smiled seeing the cute photos, screenshotting a few to post on your own instagram. 

you remembered the gaming setup photos that you took. you opened instagram to post them o your instagram story, along with videos of their reactions of seeing them. only in a matter of seconds, your tagged photos sky rocketed. 

now they knew that the two boys would definitely stay for longer. 

-

dream knew what was going on. he was tagged in a lot of the photos. your fans thought he was there too, for some reason. some knew dream wasn’t there but asked why he wasn’t there. 

dream was happy to see that his friends are happy with you. they might as well move in with you. 

dream knows that you hated staying at home alone. maybe that’s why you called the two over to stay with you. 

with the gaming setups, dream knew the two boys would stay for a while. he felt a pang in his chest. 

he wanted to meet you. he wanted to make things right again. not because he saw you happy without him, not because he saw how successful you have become, not because he saw how happy you were with his friends but not him, but because he felt alone without you. he needed you. 

-

you could hear george and sapnap screaming. you smiled, knowing that they were probably streaming or recording something, along with dream since you heard them scream “dream” a ton of times. 

they had to eat lunch so you brought it upstairs to their room, knowing they won’t end their gaming anytime soon.

you knocked on sapnap’s door first. seeing as he’s not using his facecam, you walked in and put his plate of food next to his keyboard, along with a bottle of his favourite drink. 

he thanked you as he told his chat what was going on. you ruffled his hair as you walk out his room, to george’s.

you didn’t bother knocking his door since you knew he was too deaf to hear it anyways. you slowly opened the door, not wanting to interrupt his stream and nicks.

he notices you coming in. “hi! come here!” he told you. 

you smiled at him, walking towards his desk, with the plate of food and bottled drink in your hands. 

“i just came to gave you lunch cause i know you too well.” you told him, almost sarcastically. 

“awh, oh my god thank you, this looks so good.” he thanked you just like nick did. 

“my chat wants to say hi.” he tells you. 

knowing he has his facecam turned on, you walked to him to stand behind his chair to wave at the camera. 

“so this is my favourite person in the world.” george said to his chat, pointing to you. 

you blushed and put your hand up to cover your mouth at how cute that was. roll in the ship comments. 

“i’m leaving you with the ship comments, gogy.” you told him as you walked to the door. 

-

a couple more weeks go by, and the two idiots are still living with you. they actually are thinking about staying here for good. to which they asked you if that’s okay. 

obviously you would let them stay here for good, you loved the company. 

they were your distraction to everything going on. the heartbreak, the hurt that never left your chest. they were all still there and you didn’t know how to get rid of them. but for now, your two bestfriends were there for you. 

lately you have been getting flower and chocolate arrangements to your doorstep. at first you thought it might be the boys trying to do something nice but they had told you that they wouldn’t have even thought about being that romantic. 

you laughed it off and set it aside. the flowers did look good in your living room, after all. unless it was from a stalker fan, you didn’t mind it. you found it a little romantic. 

-

george and sapnap knew exactly what they were doing. the moment they found out your address, they sent it to dream. they knew clay deserved everything that has happened to him. but at the end of the day, he is still their friend, and they can’t abandon him. 

everyday of the week. flowers arrangements came. you asked george multiple times if he knew what was going on. 

he was the only recent person you remember telling your obsession of flower arrangements to. 

at first, he told you he didn’t have a clue, and soon enough, he cracked. he told you he knew, but it was your task to find out who. 

the first couple days of knowing that, you tried brushing it off, making yourself busy with music or cooking for the two boys. but soon enough, you couldn’t run away from it anymore. you were curious. 

a full month after your first flower arrangement came to your doorstep, you heard a knock on your door. since you thought maybe you had a package, you didn’t think much of it. 

you were surprised to see the person in front of your front door. 

dream. 

it was your ex boyfriend. 

what was he doing here? you haven’t seen him in so long, that seeing him felt weird. he was on the internet but his face wasn’t plastered on his profiles. 

“what are-” your question was cut off by him. 

“just please listen to me first. i swear i will give you all the time in the world to talk later but please, for now, just listen to me.” 

your actions stopped. it was as if your brain stopped functioning. 

you hesitantly nodded to him, signaling him to continue. 

“i’ve waited so long for this. i’ve stayed in that house we first shared alone while you moved here, to pursue your passion. i saw you all over the billboards, all over my phone, my computer, even the flyers outside my house had your face on it.” you laughed at the end. 

“but i chose not to do anything just yet, i wanted to see you happy, happy with your career, even if it meant me not being by your side to support you. i am incredibly proud to see that you’ve grown into such an amazing and successful woman.” you goes again. 

“but i don’t think i can wait any longer. everyone thinks i’ve been happy with my own life, but how can i be happy, when i still live with the guilt of taking advantage of your kindness, taking you for granted. how can i live happily with the guilt of letting you go that day?” he continues again. you try to keep your face emotionless, trying not to cry. 

“i know it feels so sudden, me coming here. but i can’t live anymore not having you anymore. please, take me back?” he finishes, tears going down him cheeks. 

you started to tear up, almost sobbing.

“why did it have to take this long, stupid?” you whined, running to hug him. 

he moved back slightly from the impact, not expecting you to talk to him, yet touch him . 

you two heard your two bestfriends come down the stairs, laughing and faking their vomits from behind your backs. 

“i fucking knew it. you two are so sneaky.” you rolled your eyes. 

-

time flies by fast. a whole year has passed. one whole year since dream knocked on your door. one whole year since he has moved in with you and the other two boys. 

yes, living with three boys can be super chaotic, but you liked it. you absolutely love the joy it brings you, even if they often steal your snacks from the pantry.

oh yeah, you had to get a full gaming set up for dream too, for making him jealous with george. 

[kzuhadovey]

the times you both fell in love

character: choi soobin x f!reader

type: fluffy fluff!!

warnings: death of a loved one

song recommendations: night changes - one direction

so i was just sleeping- and this just popped up in my mind?? so i decided to write it so ~enjoy~ also i did not proof read i’m sorry

It was a quiet, peaceful day for Choi Soobin. Flowers dropped from the tall trees and a slight breeze caressed Soobin’s face. Soobin hummed quietly as he glanced beside him, being met with… you. You were carrying a large backpack and a baby in your arms. “Psst. Y/N.” Soobin whispered, not wanting to wake the baby. “What?” You glanced at him quickly. “I love you.” The way your cheeks turned red and you giggled a little. He has said that to you over 500 times and yet when he said it, he felt like falling in love with you over and over again. 

 ➵ one  Y/N Y/L/N sat in the car, a barbie backpack on her back and a frown on her face. "Come on Y/N, cheer up." Her father said, poking her cheek. Y/N looked away in annoyance. "Soobin's gonna be just fine dear." He said, laughing. Y/N at the age of 6 was extremely attached to her neighbor and best friend, Choi Soobin. They always went to school together and when one-day Soobin fell ill, Y/N was in a completely sour mood. "I'm not going if Binnie's not going!" You had said all day. Eventually, your father had dragged you and your lunch to the car. You faced the window, looking for your mother when you caught sight of Soobin, head outside the window, trying to catch your attention. You rolled down the windows and waved at Soobin, a bright smile on your face. "Y/N!!!! I'M SICK SO I CAN'T COME TO SCHOOL TODAY!" Soobin screams with all his power. "I KNOWW MY MOM TOLD ME!" You shout back. "GET SOME REST OKAY MY MOM SAID IF YOU REST YOU WON'T GET SICK EASILY!" Soobin nodded. "OKAY Y/N!! HAVE FUN AT SCHOOL!!" He shouted, and you smiled. You waved goodbye, and that was the first time you fell in love. 

 ➵ two  Y/N stood in the middle of the room, leaning against a table. It was a pretty crowded party that Soobin had dragged her to, she always resisted but Soobin would always force her anyways. Soobin carried 2 drinks to Y/N, smiling widely. "Y/N! It's a fun one, isn't it?" Soobin asks, already chugging down one drink. "No, it isn't actually. But lemme take a drink." She says, taking a cup and drinking it. It was salty and burned her throat, she enjoyed it. "Hey Soobin and girlfriend of Soobin, come, we're playing games in the living room." A boy said, approaching the duo. "Yeonjun. She isn't my girlfriend." Soobin says, frowning. Soobin takes your head under his armpit and pats your head. "Bin- stop it-" You say, giggling. "This little shit is my best friend," Soobin says, nodding. You eventually pout and ignore him. "Ah, well, Best friend and Soobin, let's play games, hm?" The boy, Yeonjun, asks. Soobin glances at you, asking for your opinion. You let out a simple shrug and he nods. "She's tired. We're going home." Soobin says, taking your waist and carrying you. Soobin knew you too well, he knew your mannerisms and everything else. "CHOI SOOBIN- LET ME DOWN THIS INSTANT-" You shout, kicking and flailing around. Yeonjun looks at both of you in an awkward way before walking away. Soobin laughs and starts carrying you out the door, making you pout and flail around. "You're lucky I saved you there, Princess Y/N," Soobin says, putting her down. She flips her hair and laughs. "Let's go. Before your parents slander me." Soobin says, offering his hand. She accepts giddily and they both walk home together, hand in hand. 

 ➵ three Y/N stared at the hospital bed tears running down her eyes as the hospital staff started cleaning up the bed. Y/N couldn't feel anything, her face was numb from the tears and her fingers felt as if they weren't even there. Her mother was away, not even knowing that her father had died. Y/N had no one, and Y/N hated that feeling. As more tears started spouting, Soobin's comforting hand wrapped around her shoulder. Yeah, Soobin was there. As soon as he had heard the news of Y/N's father's accident, he had rushed to Y/N's side. Her father had already treated Soobin like his very own child, so Soobin was sad aswell. Soobin had a few tears as well but seeing Y/N broken was the thing he hated the most. Y/N started crying into his chest again, and Soobin could only stroke her head, trying to soothe her. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," Soobin whispered, kissing your head as you cried. He would eventually be there for every stage of sadness Y/N had. 

 ➵ four Soobin was nervously waiting outside of the university building, tapping his hand. Today Y/N would present her start-up business to over 500 investors in part of a start-up competition. Y/N's been preparing all month, with sleepless nights and hungry days. Soobin had been accompanying Y/N every day, helping her with food, helping her present, and most importantly, having fun. Y/N came out of the building, a laptop bag in her hand and a frown on her face. Soobin was about to cheer but then realized that she wasn't that happy. Soobin approached Y/N in a frenzy, anger on his face. "WHO WAS IT?? I'LL GO BEAT THEM UP-" Soobin shouted, ready to storm in the building. Y/N awkwardly tried to hold him back, giggling and shouting. "SOOBIN LISTEN- I GOT IN-" Y/N shouted, and Soobin paused. "You- you what?-" Soobin stuttered, looking at her, eyes panicked. "I got in. They liked my idea, Bin." Y/N said, laughing. Soobin sighed in relief, throwing his head back. "THEN WHY'D YOU COME OUT ALL TEARY-EYED DUMBASS?!" Soobin shouted, causing some people to stare. Y/N laughed, trying to shush Soobin. "I wanted to see your reaction, of course," Y/N said, giggling. "You dumb bitch!" Soobin said before wrapping you in a hug. A nice, warm hug. He pulled away before kissing you. You panicked for a second, before finally leaning into the kiss. He finally pulled away, his cheeks red. "Uhm-" He muttered before actually running away. Y/N's mouth was gaping open. "CHOI SOOBIN GET BACK HERE-" You shouted, running after him. 

 ➵ five  You woke up in Soobin's dorm room, disheveled. You were only in your underwear and bra, and it was very, very cold. "Holy fuck." You said as you covered your body. Soobin was in a band with his friends- so that was going well. You enjoyed Beomgyu was a babbler definitely so that was a minus. Other than that, it was nice resting with the boys. You just didn't expect to be waking up naked. Soobin must have taken your clothes off when you were asleep. You stood up slowly, wrapping the blanket around yourself. You definitely didn't wanna pass Taehyun, he was literally sleeping with his eyes open. You picked up a hoodie from the floor and recognized it as Soobin's. You put it on yourself quickly before heading out the door. The hoodie was extremely oversized so it reached your knees. You peek around, looking for Soobin. "Binnie!!" You shout, looking for him. Suddenly, a 'boo!' noise came from behind you. You yelp and jump, turning around. Of course it was Soobin. You rolled your eyes. "Hey, baby." Soobin said, laughing. You walk around, looking for the bathroom. "Give me my clothes then I'll head out of here. I know you have practice soon." You say, finally spotting the mirror. Soobin nods as he follows you around like a lost cat. Soobin put his head on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you as you begin to brush your teeth. "Look how far we've come." Soobin mutters, looking at the mirror. You giggle and you just ignore him. 

 ➵ six You were dressed in a small and comfortable onesie, watching your favorite show. "COME ON DELILAH JUST MARRY HIM ALREADY." You shouted in frustration. "Hello dear." Soobin's light voice called out. You waved shortly at your boyfriend before focusing back on the TV. Soobin was back home from another performance and he was itching for cuddles. "What you watching baby?" Soobin asks as he kisses your cheek from behind. "Y'know what I'm watching," You said. "I have an idea, baby." Soobin randomly says as he sits next to you. "What if we get married?" Soobin whispers into your ear. It took a while for you to process this, but you paused the tv show. "Us? Married?-" Your cheeks went red. "Bin, I mean- that would be nice- but are you sure? It's permanent, you'll be stuck to me for life." You said, chuckling. Soobin chuckles and he sits on the floor on one knee. "I don't mind. Will you marry me?" Soobin asks, taking out a ring from his pocket. Your breath hitches. "Holy fuck."

➵ seven Soobin stood from across the room nervously. The other boys were staring at Soobin in awe, giggling and laughing a bit. Soon, a figure came from the other side of the room. It was her. She was in a white gown that hugged her curves perfectly, and there were a heap of flowers in her hands. Everyone stood up, and Soobin was just in awe. "You look perfect." Soobin mouths and Y/N let out a tiny snort. "Shut the fuck up Choi Soobin." She mouths back and Soobin smiles.

➵ eight Soobin smiled at the presence of his god-daughter, Emily in his office. "HEYYY ITS EMILYY!" Soobin shouts, reaching for the blonde toddler. "Ah, I'm sorry Soobin! She just went in here and ran away from me!" You said, your hair a mess and vomit all over your clothes. "Aish, how are we gonna have a baby if you can't even take care of a toddler," Soobin said, laughing. "BITCH YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MY DOG!" You said, slapping his head. "AIYA-" Soobin frowned. "Hey, look at that." Soobin noticed a picture, a small photo album on the back of the photo frame. "Hm?" You asks, busy talking to Emily. "It's a photo album we made when we got married." Soobin says, reaching for it. He opened it and his mouth dropped open. You looped her arms around Soobin's neck, also watching. "Look. Here's us when we were 6." Soobin pointed to a photo of you hugging Soobin. "Ooh, is that the party at Yeonjun's place?" You asked, pointing to one where they were drinking. "Hey, isn't that me when I finally launched my business?" You pointed to a photo of her wearing a suit. "And there's me hanging out with the boys." Y/N pointed to a photo of them at a pool. "When we got married. Ooh, and when we got Emily." You giggled. You were now enveloped in a heap of memories, and you ended up cuddling. "I love you so much. We've come so far, hm?" Soobin whispered. "I love you so much, Binnie." You replied.

[pagesandmagic]

folklore || this is me trying

description: she left the outer banks two years ago and now she’s coming back for the summer. they haven’t seen each other since she skipped town without telling him. they’ve both hurt each other, so how do they come back from heartbreak?

warnings: swearing, angst, S L O W B U R N.

series based on songs from the album ‘folklore’ by taylor swift.

author’s note: hiiii sorry i’ve been gone for a HOT second. life has been busy and inspiration has not hit me lately, but here we are and i’m excited about where this is going. pls let me know if you would like to be a part of the taglist! 

Part One (the 1) | Part Three (mad woman)

her.

growing up, your favorite story was Peter Pan. 

the boy from Neverland stole your heart quickly and you dreamt of a place where you would never have to get old. the adults in your life always seemed stiff and unlikeable. they complained about being invited and not being invited to parties. it seemed like they were confused about what they wanted.

being raised in figure eight meant too many fancy parties with stuffy adults and pretentious kids. through most of high school, you would show up at the beginning, but sneak out half way through to spend the night surfing with JJ. he had always been your escape from the uptight life that your parents made you live. they had dreams for you to go to college or marry into money, maybe both if it worked out for them. but that wasn’t what you had wanted. 

college wasn’t your scene, you couldn’t imagine spending another four years learning about places and cultures, instead of actually experiencing them. you quickly wrote college off your list when you picked up a camera for the first time. at first, you was mediocre, at best, but eventually people were paying you hundreds of dollars to shoot their weddings in your first year. your senior year of high school, you created a name for yourself and through the power of social media, you was noticed by a multi-million dollar wedding company who offered you the internship of your dreams. 

your parents didn’t approve of the offer, but at eighteen, you knew you wanted this and they couldn’t stop you. you packed up your entire life into her little Subaru and left. 

this internship was the gateway out of the outer banks, away from kook life, away from the heartbreak, towards a new life. a fresh start. 

he would have asked you to stay, but it wasn’t that easy. JJ brought a love you had never known into your life, but he also brought a heartbreak you had never felt before. 

you had an hour left in your drive and as your stomach turned, you had to remind yourself that it was your choice to come back for the summer. JJ was a part of the package deal of returning. you pulled over to the side of the winding country road. in one swift motion the car door opened and you found yourself hurling out onto the dirt road. 

“I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying,” tears were streaming down your face as the anxiety washed over your body. there was a certain desperation in your voice that scared you. knowing that if you were near the side of the road, maybe your car would get just a little too close and you’d go tumbling down, never having to deal with what was to come. 

“fuck,” you slammed the door shut, breathing in through your nose and out your mouth, watching your breathing and gripping the steering wheel like it was a lifeline. as your breathing slowed, you shifted gears and the wheels of your car found the road again.

the love you had for him was still there and it scared you more than anything in your life. and here you were, driving straight into the storm that was JJ Maybank. 

JJ.

JJ felt like he was floating as he rushed around the chateau, to clean up the mess his friends made the previous night. so many things have changed, he thought, three years ago, there’s no way in hell I’d be doing this. which was true. when she left, his entire mindset shifted. she was the one person he thought he would have forever, and with the rest of his friends out of the outer banks during the school year, he had to grow up. 

john b left him the chateau during the school year. free rent in order to keep up the house? sold. he made the house his home. completely renovating the little shack on the water. it was the first time in his life he was fully responsible for something big, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up. so he kept to himself, fixed up the chateau, praying every day that it would pay off. praying that she would come back to him.

he knocked on john b’s door. 

“come on, man,” he yelled, “you gotta get up and clean, she’s going to be here in like an hour.” 

he could hear both john b and sarah groan and shuffle around the room. sarah opened the door, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “J, you need to chill out.” she said, making her way to the kitchen. 

john b was still in bed, his mouth hanging open, trying desperately to succumb to sleep again, “dude,” JJ threw a shirt at his face, “get up.”

“why does everything have to be perfect, JJ?” his voice hissed and was raspy from the early morning wakening, “it’s not like you guys left on the greatest terms, so what does it matter?”

JJ shut the door muttering a “fuck you” as he walked to the kitchen and threw the beer cans into the garbage which made an audible clang. sarah jumped as she closed the cabinet door. “JJ, chill,” she poured herself a cup of coffee as he paced around the house. 

“sarah, if your asshole of a boyfriend does anythin-”

“he’s not going to do anything, JJ” she leaned against the countertop, her face almost buried in her morning coffee, “he loves Fin as much as the rest of us. she left on a high note with us, but on a bad one with you, so i get why you’re freaking out.” she paused, thinking of the best words to say, “but you can’t let her see that. she doesn’t need to have that power over you. you’ll talk it through with her this summer. i’ll make sure of it.” she touched his shoulder as she made her way back to the bedroom. 

he collapsed onto the chair in the living room. closing his eyes and placing his head in his hands. “i’m trying. i’m trying so hard.” 

she was coming back. this was what he had been waiting for since she left two years ago. he wanted more than anything to prove that he had changed and wasn’t the same boy she left. 

her.

you wiped your hands on the side of your shorts as you pulled into the driveway of the chateau. you could feel tears pricking in the back of your eyes, and blinked in hopes of pushing them down. you put your car in park and turned off the engine. “it’s now or never, get out of the damn car.” you whispered to yourself through your teeth. 

the front door of the shack opened and john b was the first to emerge the little house. you stepped out of the car just in time for him to wrap his arms around your waist and lift you off the ground. it always shocked you every time he was able to take your feet off the ground. in no way were you as physically small as sarah and kie, your curves were prominent and there were times you couldn’t shop at the same store as the other two girls, but john b always made you feel just as beautiful. he smelt of a mixture sea salt and tea tree shampoo. it felt like home. 

“i missed you, Finny,” he smiled against your neck, it felt right that john b was the first one to hug you. he was the one who had been there for you the longest, and even though you didn’t want to admit it (because he was a real dumbass sometimes) his friendship meant the most to you. 

“i missed you, too, JB,” you said, as he broke the hug to kiss your cheek. 

sarah let out an audible squeak as she wrapped her arms around your neck. “it’s been too long!”  you both rocked back and forth. until sarah let go, knowing you had a lot of people to hug. 

pope and kie were next, it only seemed fitting that they both went in for a hug at the same time, forming a little circle. when pope left the hug, you grabbed kie to hold a little longer, whispering, “where is JJ?” kie could feel your hands shake slightly, clearly nervous to see the blonde boy. 

you could feel her playing with the hair on your back, “i’m not sure, Fin. he’s around here somewhere. i think he’s just as nervous as you, if not more,” she placed her arms on your shoulders, separating the hug. “he loves you a lot,” she whispered for only you to hear.

“well, he had a pretty terrible way of showing it,” you sniffed, feeling tears streaming down your face. the entire scene was so overwhelming. 

you had missed the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and watching the HMS pogue sway with the waves. you missed the salty air and the humidity that summer brought. you missed the sight of the chateau, while more fixed up now, just a little shack on the beach. you had missed this little family of yours. 

“so,” john b clapped his hands together. “dinner?” everyone agreed in unison knowing the pizza that was awaiting them inside. kie and sarah wrapped their arms around your shoulders as everyone walked up the steps of the chateau. 

it felt like a little piece of your heart was getting put back together. your friends were more of your family than your actual family ever had been. you breathed a small sigh of relief knowing the one person who you didn’t want to see wasn’t inside. whether you liked it or not, he would be around the next three months. 

stepping inside you could see the amount of work that had been put into the home since you had last left. there were new coats of paint, new pieces of furniture, and there was a wall of pictures hanging up of the six friends in the different seasons of their lives. even the photos you had sent of your adventures in colorado were up there. you felt your stomach drop with the thought that your friends never actually forgot about you. instead, they were always supporting you from afar. tears pricked at your eyes. it was like coming home. 

your eye caught a particular picture. it opened up an old wound you had spent so many years pushing down. it was you and JJ the summer before you left at the beach. his sandy blond hair pooling over your face as he looked down at you. it was a particularly warm day and instead of spending the day on the hms pogue, the gang had ventured out to the actual beach. it was one of your favorite days with JJ. you remember it being a day of snow cones and sandy butt cheeks and hitting a volleyball around the beach. it was like everyone agreed to fill an entire day with all of the summer adventures. it was a dream. until it wasn’t. 

JJ. 

he stood in the driveway of the chateau two hours after she arrived. 

while the outer banks always had an ungodly amount of humidity, his hands were sweating more than usual. he chewed his bottom lip, unsure of where to go or what to do next. did he wait for her to come out? should he just walk through the door? it was technically his home and she was just visiting. no, it was definitely her home once too. 

he ran his fingers through his hair, he knew he needed to see her. it had been two years since he had spoken to his best friend. but she was within walking distance. he could yell her name like all those nights after she left, but this time, she would hear him. he could run to her and wrap his arms around her waist and feel her warmth, her curves, her beauty and never let go. he could hear her laugh and listen to the stories of the adventures she’s been on, see the pictures she had taken. he wanted nothing more than to kiss her lips, and feel her love again. 

the outer banks wasn’t big. so the entire town had known what he had done when she left. it was clear that she was running from him, but he didn’t blame her for any of it. if he was in her situation, he would run too. 

he started to walk to the door, his legs felt like jelly, but it had been some time since she got there and he hoped she would be distracted by the others that he could just slip inside and listen to her talk from his bedroom. 

the first thing he saw was her walk down the stairs, she was barefoot and her skin a golden brown. her t-shirt came down past past her hips and he was unsure if she was wearing any shorts underneath. it was by far his favorite thing she wore when they were dating. her hair had grew and was now far past her shoulders and cascaded down the front of her chest. 

as his eyes came up, he locked eyes with the girl he loved since he was ten. and then his entire body went cold. 

[camoolla]

The world has their Jaskier, and Geralt has his. 

The soft-spoken poet capable of wrenching lyrics, raw gospels from the very heart of humanity, lute strung across his shoulders like that of Excalibur, the once and future herald of a new generation of musical genius has once again bestowed his wisdom upon the world.

Disciples, who dub themselves the ‘Florets’, continue to sing his praises up and down the country as Julian ‘Jaskier’ Pankratz, known by his stage name Dandelion, has released his latest album Garrotter to the public this month. Comfortably sitting on its rightful throne at the #1 spot on the Official Global Charts for the fourth week in a row, the round table has grown a head to which Jaskier has conquered and is settled to stay for a decidedly long reign.

We fans can only speculate on how this titan of the music industry is spending his amply earned morning. Tapping his foot to the beat of our collective hearts? Strumming the chords to the melody of our souls? Penning the words to the anthem of the generation? Does everything this man touch turn to such benevolent artistry- 

“Oh fuck,” 

Geralt looked over the top of his phone. 

“I put salt in the coffee again.”

The once and future herald of a new generation of musical genius indeed. 

The titan of the music industry pouted as he poured out two mugs of steaming, salty coffee. He turned back to the maker, pressing a few of the various buttons on the over-expensive machine; it buzzed suddenly to life and he jumped. Geralt looked back down at the article. The corners of his mouth twitched. 

He scrolled through many more paragraphs worshipping and deifying the man currently humming and tapping his fingers against the counter to the beat of Cotton Eyed Joe until he paused at an embedded photo. It was the one from Oxenfurt Pride two years ago - a picture that currently sat on the Instagram jaskierxo at a steady 1.2 million likes, but also tucked into a not-so-secret photo album labelled Jask. 

He was mid-set, his hair slightly sweaty so it was perfectly askew, tumbling over his forehead, the dark locks glittering with tiny artificial jewels. His mouth was open in a grin as he sang his heart out. Glitter swiped across his cheekbones in pink, purple, and blue - the blue the same startling hue of that of his eyes, shining and shimmering in the sunlight staring out in awe and joy at the crowd shouting his own lyrics back to him. The stage light behind him was a deep yellow, bouncing off the golden trimmings of his shirt, the hues in his hair, and the light illuminated him, circled, haloed, around his head. He was heavenly. He was beautiful. He was wearing Geralt's dirty hoodie. 

Too large and too dark on him, shoulders drooped over his, the sleeves reaching past his hands. What he matched Geralt in height he lacked in girth meaning all Geralt's clothes swallowed him a bit. Geralt adored it. He watched Jaskier push the stubborn sleeves back up his arm to free his hands for stirring. He hummed as he took a sip.

"Almost forgot how good coffee tastes without salt." Jaskier picked up both mugs and made his way over to Geralt at the table. Geralt hummed, reaching out for his. 

"How can you mess up the only two steps you have to do?" He mused as he took a long gulp of the hot, bitter liquid. Jaskier huffed and then suddenly Geralt had a lapful of still sleep-soft and second-hand sweat-smelling bard. He steadied an arm around him, forgoing his phone for a warm handful of his own hoodie on Jaskier's stomach. 

"Three! I have to put the mug underneath it too." He tilted his head to lean against Geralt's head, cradling the mug between his hands. 

"How gruelling." He chuckled and moved his mug of out Jaskier's reach as he lunged for it. 

"Mean people don't get coffee from their lovely husbands! I lied; there are four steps, but I shielded you from the actual most arduous ingredient: love! I have to scrounge every morning to summon the barest sprinkle for you, and this is how you betray me?" Geralt laughed, kissing away the playful crease between his bard's eyebrows and the downturn of his mouth. He tasted like coffee, milk, sugar and... yes, a bit of salt. 

"You taste of salt." 

"That's just from talking to you," Jaskier placed down his mug and noticed Geralt's phone still lit on the table. He picked it up, catching his name in the lines of text, "What are you reading?" 

Geralt quickly plucked his phone from his hands, "An article Yen sent me." 

"I saw my name." 

"It is... about you." 

"Can I read it then?" 

"No." 

"What why?" 

"She said you're not allowed." 

"What does it say about me?" 

"It's... mean?" 

"Mean?" 

"Yes." 

"Geralt, dear, I've read mean things about me before. I'm a big boy I can handle it." 

"It’s... really mean?" 

"...Are you lying?" 

"...Yes." 

"Give me the phone!" He laughed and moved abruptly, forcing Geralt to sweep his arm of hot coffee out of harm's way, but in doing so, left the side with the pocket his phone was stashed in open. Jaskier's nimble hand wriggled and brought it out, unlocking it and scrolling. He blinked as he began to read, lips parting and then curling minutely, "Oh." 

"Yen said your head was big enough already." Jaskier’s grin widened bit by bit as he read each paragraph, the gleam in his eye the exact one Yennefer had warned Geralt against. 

"Not remotely big enough as by evidence of this spectacular article! In comparison to the scripture of this journalist, my head is microscopic! I'm practically a monk with all this modesty! I better buy some extra-extra-large hats, my dear, because I have some major cranial engorgement to do!” He trilled, squirming in Geralt's lap to evade his hands. Geralt jabbed him in the side and Jaskier relinquished, Geralt snatching the phone from his nimble fingers. 

”I think you've read enough.” Jaskier pouted, and in punishment shuffled off Geralt to perch on the table, which in hindsight was more punishment to himself really by how Geralt's warm hand didn't move from his thigh. But he stood his ground. Or sat it, he supposed.

Geralt's phone buzzed, officially breaking up their playful moment, and Jaskier sighed, taking a long swig of his coffee as if in preparation, "What toil does Yennefer have for me to do today?" Geralt pulled up their shared calendar, looking for the dreaded yellow dot on the day. There wasn't one. He smiled. 

"Nothing." 

Jaskier whipped up from his cup and tilted Geralt's phone to see - oh to see, miraculously, incredibly, unbelievably - a white square without a trace of yellow, "Nothing?" 

"Hm." And Jaskier had never heard a hum so pleased. His shoulders slumped with relief, and, placing his mug down, he carded a hand through his hair ruffling it back out his face. Today was a day of possibilities. He probably should, and Yennefer would agree, work on the few very early drafts of his next album, he was still struggling to find a rhyme for amber-eyed after all, or, even just as the bare minimum, interact with some fans. But it seemed Geralt had made the decision for him as he reached over to place his mug next to his. 

Two large hands engulfed his thighs and with a tug, pulled him down to fall on Geralt's lap, pulling and pulling until his knees bracketed his hips and his nose bumped his. But Geralt leaned down and to the right instead, his mouth sliding around the curve of his jaw. Jaskier exhaled softly, his arms gliding over his shoulders automatically, and he smiled, "No responsibilities," 

Geralt moved his mouth further down his neck, "No photoshoots," 

behind his ear, "No interviews," 

over his pulse point, "No taunting evil little yellow dot." 

"We'll have to be quick," Geralt rumbled, unwillingly to pull back from Jaskier’s throat to make the words clear, “Ciri’s coming for lunch.” 

Jaskier squirmed, and his patience snapped as he fisted his hands into Geralt's hair to bring their mouths together as he rolled his hips, delighted to find that the fabric of Geralt’s sweat pants were thinner and more revealing than he thought. Geralt groaned, circling his hands to keep the pressure against him hot and taut - Jaskier’s restlessness as he constantly shifted, twisting, rising higher to claim Geralt’s mouth at newer angles, creating gorgeous bursts of friction. Jaskier keened as he squeezed his handful and Geralt bit desperately at Jaskiers lip at the flare of hot pain. He pulled back for a brief gulp of air. 

“Plenty of time,” Jaskier smirked down at him, his mouth sinfully red and curved. Geralt briefly grinned wolfishly and with a swift movement that had Jaskier's heart dropping into his stomach and thighs tightening their grip, stood the both of them up with Jaskier lined particularly up where he needed him most. 

"Back to bed." Geralt muttered before licking back into his mouth with distinct possessiveness. With a muffled moan, Jaskier agreed.  

The phone laid abandoned on the floor, knocked by Jaskier's hip, and the ignored even when notifications flooded the screen. JaskierStan999, jaskiersbrokenlutestring, jasss_bitch, and hundred of others were commenting and tagging the article Yennefer had taken the liberty in warning the two of them about. Is he even real??, have y'all seen the fucking photo renaissance painters are quaking!!, jaskier is my god and i pray by being gay bitch!!, can you believe this man walks around and breathes and eats like we don't know he's an immortal nymph; reverence in all varieties swamped their feed, liking and praising and loving and worshipping the image Jaskier had created. 

But what nobody saw, what nobody would ever be allowed to see (sans a curious Jaskier who upon finding, smiles wetly with a silent promise of secrecy and a whispered, “Fucking sap.”) is the photo found if one were to scroll to the very first photo in the album Nudes (Fuck Off). Taken off-stage, the two of them blended into the crowd, two faces into a parade of thousands. A front camera photo, an accident, an overlooked distraction from a planned photo snapped, a moment of time caught and treasured. Geralt has been positioned to press a kiss to Jaskier’s cheek, but, having turned suddenly to check the timer, instead had glitter smudged across his nose. Jaskier had exploded, forgetting the camera to press his forehead to Geralt’s as he leaned into his laughter. Geralt grinned back, full and fond, eyes magnetised to the scrunch of his nose, the pink blush beneath the glitter, the brilliant blue of his eyes. The two of them shimmered in the sunlight, basking in one another’s glow. 

The world had their Jaskier, and Geralt had his.

[smilebouquet]

somewhere to go, someone to love

my secret santa gift (@ducktalessecretsanta2020) for @kvanderquack!! i’m sorry for tagging again after i already sent my gift via dm-

also on ao3!!

––––––––––

For as long as Lena lived (all fifteen years), she’d always been alone. She was born alone on the heights of Mount Vesuvius, from the remnants of her Aunt Magica’s shadow. She travelled to Duckburg alone, with no one to keep her company other than the voices in her head and the harsh whispering of her shadow. She bore the brunt of Magica’s lashings and whining alone, hurt and angry and bitter.

A happy family felt like such a foreign concept to her. Magica was always her one and only kin, the only person who had a connection to her. And she hated every second of it. If having just one aunt was so exhausting, imagine having two aunts. Imagine three. Criticizing your every move. Yelling at you for screwing up. Demanding nothing but obedience and respect and returning none of it. 

Lena didn’t think she would be able to take it. Family just didn’t sound like something she’d like.

That’s what she thought, anyway, until the Sabrewings took her in.

––––––––––

1.

Lena can’t sleep.

Or to be exact, she can’t sleep peacefully. Ever since she came back to the land of the living, she’s been having dreams. Dreams where she found herself running from her. Into the woods, where the screeching of bats rang in the air, and the ground was muddy and made each consecutive step heavy. Or within a mansion suspiciously similar to Scrooge’s, her voice bouncing off the walls and getting closer and closer until they were literally screaming into her ears. She could do nothing but run.

She never dared to look back, but Lena always managed to glimpse her in the corner of her eye. The swish of a velvety black cape. A gloved hand, reaching out to snatch her. A flash of purple magic. 

Lena always manages to wake up before Magica could grab her and do god-knows-what. She would always be grateful for the fact that she awoke easily. But every dream ended in To Be Continued — never The End — and Lena didn’t want to know what The End would look like, because she has the sinking feeling that it won’t be a Happily Ever After.

Tonight is no different. She’s staring up at the ceiling of Violet’s room, letting the muffled snores of her roommate fill the still air. It’s getting increasingly hard to stay awake, and she isn’t sure how much longer she can take it.

Sighing, she rolls out of bed and leaves the room, making sure the door creaked as quietly as possible and that it clicked shut. She heads down the stairs and into the living room. A bookshelf stands in the corner, filled with all sorts of books from encyclopedias to photography books.

Lena instinctively grabs a cookbook (and accidentally knocks off a few more, but she’ll deal with them later) from the second topmost shelf. Yellow sticky notes jut out of the pages, all written on with dark purple ink. Walking into the kitchen adjacent, she flicks on the light, then flips the book open. Vanilla Cake, reads the title in big bold letters, followed by the exact quantity of ingredients needed and the instructions on how to bake one.

This should keep her up until tomorrow.

"...Lena? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

She freezes. Ty is standing at the door, a wooden baseball bat loosely held in his grip. He chucks it aside and steps into the kitchen.

"Hey." She waves half-heartedly with a sheepish smile. "I, uh, couldn't sleep."

"And you're in the kitchen with a cookbook, why?"

Because Aunt Magica haunts my dreams every night and I don’t wanna deal with it anymore?

“...I wanted to do something nice for my friends for once, so I thought baking a cake for our sleepover would be neat?”

Ty’s gaze flickers between Lena and the clock currently showing 12:59. He pinches the area between his eyes. “Lena, it’s late. I think you should go to bed—”

“No!” He flinches. Lena’s eyes widen. “I mean— no, I can’t go to bed until I finish this cake!” she backtracks, her voice cracking. Her heart is pounding. She can't go to sleep, she can't...! “If you help me, I’ll go to bed sooner! Maybe!”

Ty scratches the back of his head. “Well, Indy’s the dad who bakes, not me... but I suppose I can try.”

Relief washes over her. She flashes him a tired smile, handing him a bowl and some measuring cups. “Thanks.”

––––––���–––

2.

“We’re back!” 

Indy looks up from the couch. “Welcome back. How was your sleepover?”

“Pleasant,” Violet replies, already halfway up the stairs. “Ate some cake. Played a video game. Saved Lena from getting dragged into a mirror and possibly losing her within a lucid dream to the witch responsible for the shadow war several months ago. The usual.”

“Sounds nice,” Indy remarks. Then did a double take. “Wait, what?”

Ty laughs, following after Violet. “It’s a long story. Took the whole car ride for them to finish telling it.” Indy glares after him, but shrugs and returns to his book.

Lena drops her own bag on the floor and flops onto the couch with a heavy sigh. She could shower or whatever later. Right now she just wanted to rest.

“Long day?” Indy asks, barely moving from his position on the right side of the couch.

“Kinda. I’ve been through worse, though.”

There's a beat of silence.

The unspoken Like what? hangs over her head uncomfortably. Is this the part where she spills her entire life story? Should she play it off as a joke? Would it be wise to pretend she hadn’t said anything? She can feel Indy’s stare on her shoulder, burning like a pair of red-hot lasers—

He either noticed her discomfort, or is really good at reading minds, because he hums quietly and says, “You don’t have to elaborate.”

“...Ah. Right. Okay.” She sits upright, then lets out a short laugh. Her eyes wander over to Indy, who’s still reading his book with a content look on his face. “What is that?”

Indy shows her the book. There’s a bunch of pictures of Violet, Ty and Indy together. “It’s one of the family photo albums,” he explains. “Photography is one of my hobbies.”

Lena grunts in response, then peers at the photos more closely. “Is that Violet in the library?”

“Oh, that’s from the first time we visited the public library together. We had just moved into Duckburg, and wanted to do a little sightseeing. Violet insisted that we check out the library. That girl always did love reading. She gets it from Ty…”

They spend the rest of the hour looking through the photo album together. There’s a surprising amount of photos in this one tiny album, each preserving a special memory that Indy knows by heart and tells Lena about with nothing but fondness. She now knows that Violet used to take ballet classes (and hated it), has won at least two national spelling bees by the age of six, and is part of the Junior Woodchucks.

Photos from before Violet was born are also in it, located near the end of the album. Indy tells Lena that he first met Ty at a college entrance exam. They had entered the building at the same time, and Ty thought it would be neat to strike a conversation with him. They hit it off pretty much immediately, but forgot to ask for each other’s phone numbers before they went their separate ways.

“But you’re married now?!” Lena blurts out, jumping from the cough to point a shaky finger at him. “How?!”

He chuckles. “We met again at a supermarket several months later, I believe, reaching for the same can of beans. Ty’s first words to me ever since were ‘Holy shit, you like beans, too?!’ This time we remembered to exchange contact information, and here we are ten years later.”

“I— Wow.” Lena sits back down. “Some luck you have.”

“I wouldn’t call it luck,” he admits. His fingers gently caressing the old photo of them. “I like to think of it as fate. If we’re meant to be together, life will find a way to get us together.”

(Lena thinks about Webby.

She thinks about their “chance” meeting at the amphitheater.

She thinks about how she almost lost Webby by sacrificing herself to protect her.

She thinks about how lucky she had been that Violet was there in the library that day, reading a nerdy old book.

She inwardly decides that Indy is probably right.)

Once they reach the end of the album, Indy moves to close it. The corners of several photographs stick out from the side. Lena blinks.

“And those are?”

He looks down. “Oh.” Tucking them back in, he replies, “Those are some of the newer photographs. Haven’t gotten a new album for them yet, so I keep them here for the time being.” His fingers drum on the hard cover. “Come to think of it, I don't have any pictures with you yet. We’ll need to remedy that.”

“Hm, why?”

“You’re family, after all. I think you deserve a spot in the photo album.”

Family. She’s family. The thought of it makes her heart flutter.

It takes her a minute to realize Indy stopped talking, and is looking at her with the slightest hint of hesitation in his expression.

She beams at him. “That would be nice. You should get a new album first, though.” As if on cue, a photograph falls out. She picks up. “Hey, what about this one?” Indy lights up, and starts going into a tangent about the one time they lost Violet at Duckburg’s largest department store. As he does, she zones out for a bit, testing the name.

‘Lena Sabrewing’, huh…  She can feel her smile widening.  Sounds way cooler than Lena de Spell.

––––––––––

3.

This is terrible, Lena concludes.

They’re on the way to the Junior Woodchuck Campgrounds for Violet’s upcoming graduation. She’s a little hazy on the details, but she does know that each year only one senior junior woodchuck can become a senior woodchuck (“That’s dumb! Why can’t you all just become senior woodchucks?!” “Don’t question it, Lena.”), they decide who graduates with some sort of obstacle course, and Violet’s opponent this year is likely going to be Huey.

Lena also knows that the campgrounds are located waaaay out on some island in the middle of nowhere, and if she sees another “NOW LEAVING DUCKBURG” sign she’s going to lose it. She lets out a groan as she slides farther down her seat, watching the pine trees blur into a strip of green on the landscape. “Hey, Vi, how much longer ‘til we’re there?”

No answer.

“Vi?”

Again, no answer. Lena knows that Violet has a tendency to be quiet during car rides, preferring to admire the scenery as they drive, but Violet should’ve at least spared her a grunt at this point.

She decides to turn and look at her. Violet is staring at her lap, perfectly still. Her fists are clenched so tightly she can see the white knuckles beneath her purple feathers, and they’re trembling.

“Vi, what’s wrong...?” Lena begins to ask, and then immediately Indy’s voice from before echoes in her head.

“Third time’s the charm, right Vi?”

The gears click into place. Oh.

She inches closer to Violet’s side — as much as she can with her seatbelt on, anyway — and reaches out to place a comforting hand over Violet’s. The hummingbird looks up.

“Hey,” Lena says, “you’ll be okay. You’re the best nerd I’ve ever know. What’s Huey got, his stupid guidebook? You’ve got this.”

“Actually, the Junior Woodchuck Wilderness Challenge prohibits use of the guidebook,” Violet corrects, then sighs. “Sorry. I know you’re trying to comfort me, but I…” She trails off. “I know failing is natural, but it still terrifies me every single time.”

Silence.

Indy, from the passenger seat, pipes up, “Violet, you know that just being willing to go back and try again is… really brave, right? Yeah, failure is inevitable, and very terrifying, but not a lot of people are able to bounce back from it like you do.”

“What Indy said.” Ty peers at them from the rearview mirror and gives them a thumbs up. “We love you no matter what, and I bet you’re gonna crush the competition this year.”

“Yeah! What they said! You’re Violet Sabrewing. You brought me back from the Shadow Realm. If you can do that, you can do anything!”

Violet stares at her for a moment, then Indy, then Ty. Her eyes are glassy. She opens her fist to hold Lena’s hand and squeezes it weakly.

“Thanks,” she whispers, with a smile that doesn’t exactly reach her eyes.

...At least she’s smiling a little. Lena frowns, but gets an idea. She leans forward to ask Ty, “By the way, how long until we get there?”

“Five hours, I think,” Indy answers.

“FIVE HOURS?!” She can feel a vein pop in her head. Five hours. Five. Hours. It feels like she’s been in this stinkin’ car for decades already. Well, no matter.

She turns to Violet. “Alright, since we’re basically stuck here, why don’t I teach you how to smacktalk?”

Violet raises an eyebrow, clearly unamused. “Is that really necessary? Also, I doubt Hubert would appreciate—”

“Of course it is! And of course he won’t. You can’t have a healthy rivalry without a little back and forth! Where’s the fun in that?! Now, the key to good smacktalk is...”

She spends the rest of the ride lecturing Violet on the essentials of smacktalk (read: making most of it up as she went). As they drove, Violet’s shoulders began to relax and she allowed herself to laugh more, and Lena felt more at ease than she had in a while.

––––––––––

4.

Lena wakes up with a gasp. Frantically, she feels around. Her arms are intact. Her legs are still here. Nothing hurts. Phantom Blot isn’t here. Okay. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.

“Lena?”

“Vi?” Lena calls, but it sounds more like a choked sob. She’s suddenly acutely aware of the tears messing up her feathers and her pounding heart.

Violet sits up. “Another nightmare?” she asks, her voice quiet. Lena nods. She gets up from bed and leaves the room. Lena sits in the darkness, her hands gripping her knees tightly. Breathe in, breathe out.

Violet returns with a tall glass of water and hands it to her. Lena takes it and brings the glass to her beak. The water is cool and soothing.

“They’ve become increasingly frequent. Shouldn’t we talk to our fathers about this?”

“No,” Lena says immediately, finishing her glass and setting it on the night table with shaky hands. “I don’t want them to get worried.” 

Violet gives her a glare that pierces even in the dark, then sighs.

“Very well.”

✿ — ✿ — ✿

On Christmas Day, Lena wakes up to Violet dumping a bucket of cold water over her.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Ack—! Violet, what the hell?!”

“Apologies,” Violet says, her tone betraying her words. She’s already dressed in a plain cream turtleneck. “You wouldn’t wake up no matter what I did.” She tugs at her sleeve. “Now, come. Fathers are already in the living room. You were literally the last to awaken.” Without waiting for a response, she drags her out of the room and down the stairs.

The living room feels… warmer than usual. There are string lights, giving out a gentle multicoloured glow, both around the Christmas Tree and hung up along the walls. Someone took the time to hang a wreath on every door in the house, each covered in mini ornaments and topped with a red bow. The bright orange fire in the fireplace is crackling.

Ty and Indy are already waiting, wearing matching Christmas sweaters. “Merry Christmas!” they greet, pulling the two girls into a hug. 

“Merry Christmas,” Lena says back before pulling away. The cheeriness of the season was beginning to catch up to her. “So! What do we do first?”

“Well, the presents are under the tree but maybe eat breakfast first—”

Lena was gone the moment Ty said ‘presents’. She rushes to the tree and begins checking the tags for her name. Not that there are that many presents to check. Violet follows soon after with a much calmer demeanor.

She ends up with a limited edition of The FeatherWeights’ newest album from Ty and Indy (“How did you know they’re my favourite band?!” “Your shirt is all we needed to clue us in.”) and an exact replica of the Caw-nverse shoes she loves wearing. Violet receives two books — an encyclopedia the thickness of one and a half dictionaries about magic and a thinner book called Tales of the Peculiar.

She’s ready to head off to the dining table to eat when Violet stops her. 

“Wait.” She pulls out a neatly wrapped present from her pocket and holds it out to Lena. “Here.”

“Wh— But I didn’t get you anything!”

“It’s okay.” Violet shoves the present into her hands. “Just take it.” Lena peers at her suspiciously before tearing the wrapping paper clean off and opening the box.

A dreamcatcher. The hoop used is a nice beige, and a flower-like design had been woven within it with colourful threads. White feathers suspended from twine, with beads adorning the strands at intervals, are attached to the hoop. Lena dangles the dreamcatcher above the box and looks at Violet questioningly.

“It may not be as beneficial as actual therapy since I couldn’t infuse it with any magic, but it should help keep the bad dreams at bay,” Violet explains. “Probably. I made it myself so it might not work.”

Lena stares at the dreamcatcher again. Upon closer inspection, the feathers and beads appear to be glued to the twine, and the twine was wound imperfectly around the base of the hoop. The flower design is also uneven, having slightly larger ‘petals’ on one side. She feels herself tear up. “Violet. This is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me.”

“I can’t believe saving you from roaming in the shadow realm for all of eternity isn’t the sweetest thing I've ever done for you,” Violet replies, completely deadpan. But the corners of her beak are twitching upwards.

“You wanted to summon evil spirits! I was a byproduct. It doesn’t count,” Lena jokes, putting the dreamcatcher away. She envelopes her in a crushing hug. “Thank you.” Her voice is wobbling. “This is just— It must’ve taken ages. Now I feel even worse for not getting you anything.”

Violet hugs her back just as tightly. “You’re welcome. Just make sure you get me my own personal library next year.”

As if your room isn’t filled with enough books as is, Lena thinks, but she can’t help but laugh.

Ty clears his throat. “This is great, but it’s already nine and you girls haven’t even had breakfast yet, so chop chop! We’ve got a whole day ahead of us.”

(They end up at the ice rink, where Lena learns that she’s actually terrible at ice skating. Violet offers to teach her like the Samaritan she is, but doesn’t hesitate to throw jabs at her incompetence. Fortunately, she’s not the only one who’s suffering, if Indy’s screaming and Ty’s guffawing are any indications.)

––––––––––

In the first fifteen years of her life, Lena had been alone with no one to turn to. Being part of a happy family felt like something out of a movie or fairy tale. Happiness seemed like an unreachable dream.

But within two years, she found a best friend in Webby, a sister in Violet, and two dads in Ty and Indy. She found a family to call her own, one that loved her and made her feel good about herself. She was finally content.

The dreamcatcher and family photo hanging above her bed would need to be pried from her cold, dead hands.

[lgbtyrus]

This Love Will Never Be Convenient - “Flashlight”

A/N: So I consumed a lot of amazing LukeBobby content. Got brain rot. And now I have this little worm in my brain whispering, “Write LukeBobby. Write LukeBobby,” and I produced this. So guess what everyone! Bullying works :)

This story will be multiple chapters/snippets of Bobby and Luke’s relationship. Some short, some long. All with The Front Bottoms references because I imagine their relationship with added romantic tension is a TFB album. I guess I don’t really have to say this because we all know, but this is my personal take on Bobby. 

Ao3 Link

“Flashlight”

Words: 1.9k

The white of the flashlight went through the window of the house next door and hit Luke’s bedroom window. It flashed in and out, going over a small area of posters and pictures Luke had hung up. There wasn’t a single piece of wall that wasn’t decorated with pictures of bands, instrument catalogue papers, and polaroids of the boys.

Luke chuckled, letting the light go around for a bit before he got out from under his bedsheets. He walked over to his window that was glued shut by his parents and could see Bobby’s face light up when he saw him. Bobby pointed down, outside to the ground and Luke nodded before walking to his closet.

He put on a hoodie and some pink fuzzy socks Bobby would tease him for before quietly sneaking past his parents’ bedroom. They were heavy sleepers and didn’t catch Luke most of the time that he walked right out the front door late at night. It just the one time that they caught him leaving through the window that turned into a huge deal that grounded him for a month. During the day, he wasn’t allowed to go out but at night, he’d walk through the front door and go straight to Bobby’s garage so they could drive to practice. That was the month their sleeping schedules got wrecked.

Luke silently shut the door and turned around to Bobby standing there, fully dressed with his hands in his jacket. Luke rose an eyebrow, scanning him and his denim on denim outfit up and down and back up. Luke had sweats and slippers on.

“Where we going?”

“Burger King,” Bobby said, starting to walk away.

“Let me get my wallet,” Luke said, about to turn around.

Without stopping, Bobby said back to him, “You got me last time, so I got you this time.” Luke stood still and smiled for a moment before jumping back into the reality of a cold summer night. Like a little kid again, he sped to Bobby’s lawn where his van was already running. Luke knew he left it warming up for him because for someone who hated sleeves, he hated the cold. But Bobby would never admit to it and would stop doing it if he pointed it out.

They started driving away, Luke looking in the backseats of the van. Bobby’s graduation robe and cap were thrown there next to what he recognized as one of Alex’s orange fanny packs and a single checkered van that belonged to Reggie.

“Any special occasion?” Luke asked Bobby as he reached over to crank up the heat. He took note that the corner of Bobby’s lips contorted into a small smile. He always tried to hide them.

“I’m hungry, and you’re free,” Bobby said flatly.

“How do you know I wasn’t busy?” Luke asked him. Bobby side eyed him and didn’t say anything, sighing deeply. He knew that most of the time that Luke said stuff to him, he just wanted to bother him. Luke knew he wasn’t going to answer either as Bobby reached over to change the song the Everclear CD was playing. Not a big fan of “Father of Mine” apparently.

“Have you written any new songs?” Bobby asked after a minute of silence between the two.

“I got like two that are halfway done,” Luke said. He looked out the window, saying goodbye to their familiar neighborhood and entering the heart of the city through the freeway. “But I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Bobby asked. He sounded confused and beneath his straight lips that could have been a frown if he wasn’t so… Bobby, there was some concern. “You usually say they’re the best songs in the world. What’s been up with you lately.” Luke looked at Bobby who was focusing hard on the road. So this is why he had taken him out.

Alex and Reggie could easily ask Hey man, are you good? I noticed you’ve been down? Do you need help? to Luke and get an answer out of him within minutes. And then they’d either give him advice or just make him feel better because he had friends that listened.

Bobby was a different story. Bobby was not one to ask if someone else was okay. Directly at least. He was an acts of service type of guy (Alex’s ex-boyfriend had them all look up their love languages and it made more sense than astrology to Luke). Although those favors were never asked for in the first place. It sometimes annoyed Luke because it meant Bobby got himself in messes that he couldn’t get out of. Like trying to fix Reggie’s bass for him and making it worse. Or teaching Luke how to do laundry that one week he stayed at Bobby’s place because his parents went on vacation, and he ended up ruining all of Luke’s shirts.

Treating him to Burger King was another act of service Luke did not ask for, but it did make him smile because Bobby had noticed something was up.

Bobby was a bit like him. Stubborn. My way or the highway. Like having eyes on him. Anytime someone cried, they both freaked out. Things they both never grew out of.

But while Luke grew out of hiding his love for his friends once Reggie and Alex joined their friend group in middle school, Bobby didn’t. He stayed reserved yet friendly as much as Luke would overly cling to his shoulder, hug him, and occasionally plant kisses on his face that would make Bobby pretend to throw up. That was just Bobby’s personality- to look like he didn’t care to seem cooler. Even when was a huge dork.

“I dropped out of the community college classes I registered for,” Luke admitted to him.  

“Oh,” Bobby muttered. He glanced at Luke from the corner of his eyes before looking back at the road. “Let me guess. You haven’t told them?” Them. Always referring to his parents like if they were further than his own parents all the time. Sometimes it bothered Luke, but he knew why his friends had disdain towards his parents. Same reasons he did, and he couldn’t blame them. He didn’t exactly talk about them just to say positive things.

“Nope,” Luke shook his head.

“You have like three weeks,” Bobby said, pointing at his mini calendar on his dashboard. It was still on March despite it being late July.  

“Can’t I just pretend to carpool with you when you have classes?” Luke laughed. Bobby rolled his eyes as he turned into the exit of the street Burger King was on. “Come on. You’d already be on the way.”

“You’re just going to lurk on campus like a creep?” Bobby asked him.

“Yes,” Luke said. His face broke into a crooked smile, “Meet someone cute in the library, maybe.”

Bobby started muttering bitterly under his breath, “Insufferable. That’s what you are, insufferable.” Luke knew that would get him annoyed, and his laughter roared over the music. Bobby gave him another glare. “Look,” Bobby said out loud, “just rip off the band-aid. That’s what we’re all going to tell you to do.”

“I think Reggie would like my plan,” Luke said, reaching over to put his hand on the back of Bobby’s neck. Bobby side eyed Luke, but he didn’t shove his hand off. He knew it was either that or Luke would have his pointer and middle fingers pretend to run a marathon on the dashboard- narration included. If Luke didn’t have to resort to finger sprinting, it meant Bobby was in a good enough mood to let him keep his hand on him for a while.

Luke’s love language had come up to be physical touch and all three of the boys agreed that it was true. Luke protested for a bit but in that moment, he had put his arms around both Reggie and Alex’s necks and they looked at him like really? He didn’t argue against it after that.

Bobby was not one who liked to be touched. But he put with it when it came to cute girls flirting backstage or Luke- if he wasn’t in a bad mood. Luke always felt like Bobby was just tolerated him, but it was moments like him taking him to get food so late at night that reminded him that they were friends. Who made out like twice a long time ago but that’s not important right now.

Bobby pulled them into the parking lot of Burger King and got in the drive-thru line. It was a bit long for it being 11PM, but that’s how it usually was at any time of the day. He ignored Luke’s Reggie comment and was back to humming.

“Bobby,” Luke said.

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” Luke said, smiling and sticking out his tongue at him. He didn’t expect Bobby to smile back, but he did and like always, the way his eyes were barely open when he smiled so big opened up a black hole in Luke’s chest that erupted musical notes and butterflies. It was a stupid feeling.

Luke took his hand off Bobby’s neck and reached under the passenger seat. After flicking aside a water bottle cap and an old French dry, he found what he was looking for- his Polaroid camera. He started keeping it in Bobby’s van after always forgetting it for shows.

Luke pointed the camera at Bobby, finding him through the tiny lens and said, “Smile.”

“Why?” Bobby asked, already fixing his hair. Luke watched him glance at himself in the rearview mirror.

“So I can take pictures of you and hang them in my room.” Bobby didn’t say anything else and smiled before the flash went off. He seemed a little more content. Luke got the picture that came out and set it carefully on the dashboard before getting ready to take a picture of both him and Bobby.

“Your selfies never come out, dude. You’re just wasting film,” Bobby said. And before he could adjust himself and smile, Luke hit the photograph button and the flash blinded them. “Yeah, that one less.”

“Relax,” Luke said to him, placing the second photo on the dashboard. “You don’t have to look hot in every photo.” Luke knew what he was insinuating, but it didn’t make him stutter. He always complimented Bobby, and when he looked at him, like he predicted, Bobby was looking out the driver’s seat window at the very interesting beige Burger King brick wall. Luke smirked as he stared at the back of Bobby’s head. He could not take a compliment from Luke as much as he liked to receive them from other people.

Luke reached over to play with the back of Bobby’s hair, and Bobby didn’t move a bit. He was probably waiting for him to do it. Luke’s hands always found him in moments of silence.

Luke noticed the car in front of them moving forward and patted Bobby on the back.

“Go,” Luke said. Bobby faced forward again, avoiding looking at him even from the corner of his eyes as he drove forward. Luke placed his hands on his face as he stared at him, making sure he was in Bobby’s peripheral vision.

“What, dude?” Bobby smacked his lips together, looking at Luke. The question came out a lot more bashfully and quiet than his usual pissed off remarks. He bagged him for the night, and he wasn’t even trying.

“Nothing,” Luke said. “Just like looking at ya’.” Bobby rolled his eyes but from the distant Drive Thru menu sign lighting, Luke could see the scarlet on Bobby’s cheeks. Luke couldn’t stop his face from heating up either. 

[crystalwillow]

Baby Carriages & Wedding Bells - Oliver x F!MC  (Never Let You Go, Part Two)

So uh surprise! I thought I would have to finish this in the morning and it would be posted tomorrow but I’ve worked on it all day and have it ready for you all to read now. I hope you all enjoy it!

hugs, love and kisses 

tyrilsnightbloom xoxo

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The night was winding down as Oliver drove the two of you home after the premiere ended, as you looked over at Oliver your face dropped upon seeing that his brow was knitted together with worry. “Olly? What’s wrong?” you said with concern, worrying as silence followed your question but a little bubble of relief flowed through you when he spoke after a couple of minutes, “Hm? Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine. It’s just... are you sure you don’t want to go to the after party? You usually love going to them.” He questioned as he focused on the road. You smiled and took his hand in yours, “I’m sure. I’ll be doing something tonight that will... be more worth it. I’ve been to dozens of parties and after parties. Tonight... tonight I just want to be at home. With you.” You spoke softly as you smiled at him, when he turned to steal a quick glance at you he smiled too. “I just want to relax with my soon-to-be husband and do face masks with him. Maybe drink this new all-natural ingredient hot cocoa I got to try and received in the mail this morning.” You beamed at him, leaning over the gearstick and pecking his cheek as you pulled into the drive way of your home. “I’d love to do that with you” Oliver beamed back as he killed the engine and took off his seatbelt. You looked at your front door and chuckled to yourself. “what?” Oliver asked as he opened the car door to get out. “Nothing. Just... remembering the first time you saw a car” you chuckled, also getting out of the car. Together you walked inside, and you tossed your bag onto the dresser by the front door as you kicked off your heels, returning to your natural height of 5ft 6”. 

Oliver shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack before turn to you and gathering you in his arms in a tight hug. “Oof Oliver. Not too tight.” You chuckled aa he released his grip a little, smoothing your face in tender loving kisses. After his brief attack you took his hand and led him to your bedroom, he took a seat on the bed as you walked through to your en suite bathroom and picked out 2 face masks. “Can I put yours on you, honey?” you asked as you walked back into the bedroom, Oliver now pulling his suit pants off and standing in his boxer shorts “sure. Just let me put these away” he grinned holding up his dirty clothes. You smiled with a nod and got to work on undressing yourself, though it looked simple, the dress you wore tonight was quite tricky to work with. The part that annoyed you the most was the cape like element to it that was non-detachable. “Argh! Stupid dress! Would you jus-“ you started ranting to yourself but stopped when you finally saw the bedroom light again and a very smiley Oliver standing over you, your dress balled up in his hands. “Thank you.” You grinned and headed to your closet, picking out one of your long night shirts to wear in bed, grabbing Oliver a set of his pyjamas as well. Once you were both ready for bed you straddled Oliver as he laid on his back whilst you applied his face mask, engaging in small conversation, giggling and laughing. You then switched positions as he applied your face mask, deep concentration on his face. Once yours was applied you laid together looking at the ceiling, talking some more as your fingers intertwined between you. Soon you let out a small yawn, despite trying your best to suppress it and hide your true tiredness.

“Do you want to just go to bed after this? We can try the cocoa tomorrow”

“No. No, it’s okay. Besides, I have something that I want to tell you”

“You could tell me tomorrow.”

“No Oliver. I can’t hold off telling you any longer.”

“You have my intrigue.”

Oliver sat up on his side resting his head on his hand as he looked to you expectantly. “Well.... what’s got you so happy you can’t wait a moment longer to tell me?” he asked. You sat up to, suddenly the moment was very real, you were about to tell him something you kept from him for 3 months as you didn’t want him to be disappointed if you miscarried and you had no idea how he would react. “How about... we go make that cocoa and I’ll tell you in the kitchen.” You said getting up and stretching with yet another a yawn.

“Peyton. You’re tired maybe we should just sleep”

“No, please honey. Come with me.”

You pleaded with him as you slowly padded out of the room and down the stairs into the kitchen. Oliver took a seat at the island as you warmed some milk on the stove. You paced around anxiously, an uncertain silence hanging in the air, waiting for someone to break it. “Oliver? How would you feel if we were to start a family? Would you be ready to be a father?” you asked with your back to him stirring the milk, so it doesn’t catch and burn. “Whew. P, that’s a big question... I... I suppose I could see us with a child. They’d have my sense of humor for sure. Your eyes, the beautiful most emerald green. Like the jewel itself....” Oliver says as he trails off quietly mumbling to himself about having a child with you. “What would you teach them?” you asked as you started stirring the cocoa powder in the milk. “How to defend themselves of course! Oh, and how to play the perfect prank on you.” Oliver replied with a grin. You shook your head good naturedly with a small chuckle as you got 2 mugs from the cupboard and filled them with the delicious chocolate smelling liquid. “We need more soy milk now. I just used the last of it” you said looking around for the pad you write your shopping list on. “you mean there’s no milk for my cereal in the morning?” Oliver asked with an exaggerated pout on his lips which you kissed, immediately cheering him up. “There’s enough almond milk left for you to have your cereal. Quit the pouting.” You chuckled, taking a sip of the drink you had just made. “So what did you want to tell me?” Oliver asked. “Um. There’s a reason... to me asking you about how you would feel if we were to start a family.... I.. You um... I- I’m pr- .... Oliver... I’m pregnant.” You said, letting out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding as you finished your sentence. Oliver sat looking at you in shock, clearly not knowing what to say or how to react. His hot cocoa, now clearly forgotten. “Oliver....” you said with question and hesitation as you looked at him. “I... Um. Excuse me. Peyton.” He said, getting up and leaving the room, you turning your head to follow him to the direction of the door but decide it best, not to follow him. Rubbing your stomach you drank your hot cocoa and headed up to bed, willing yourself to sleep by convincing yourself that Oliver would be next to you when you woke up.

It had been 2 days since you had told Oliver that you’re pregnant and he hadn’t uttered one word to you since unless it was to ask where something was and the looks he gave you were small, barely there smiles as he left for work. You sat at home by yourself all day waiting for him to return in hopes that he would say something to you other than a question or a simple “Hello. I’m home.” As he hung his jacket by the door before he shut himself in his home office for the evening. You’d spent your time playing the piano gracefully and writing new songs. Your hopes were to get enough to make an album that you could put out as something for your fans to listen to. Just a project you could share with them. That’s what you were doing that evening when Oliver came home. You sat at the piano in the room just off of the living room as your fingers glided over the keys playing a simple but soft melody as you gently sang along to it with placeholder lyrics trying to figure out how it would go. Oliver called out your name, but you didn’t reply, just maintained your focus on your current state.

“Peyton? .... P? ....... Peyton, where are you? Pey-“ his tone became more panicked as he came nearer to you before stopping in the entrance of the room you were in, you felt his eyes on you as you finally sang a few lyrics that had come to your mind.

“... and it’s been two day since I last heard you laugh. But I guess that was the price I paid...” you sang delicately but scrunched your face up and shook your head. “No that’s not right either.” You muttered, going back to play the simple tune without singing. Oliver crossed the room and sat in the chair in the corner and listened to you play. Getting frustrated that you couldn’t find the words, you rose from the piano and headed to the kitchen to grab a drink of water and sit in the garden so you could refresh your mind. Even though you wanted Oliver to follow you, you hoped he didn’t. You were mad at him for not talking to you for so long, of course you understood it was a lot to take in but for him to not talk to you for two, now three days in a row was horrible. You felt like you lost him a couple nights ago when you told him. You feared the worst and that he was trying to search for a way back to the past so he could run from this. You sat staring into your fish pond, shaking your head and let out a small scoff before taking a sip of water, looking up as you heard the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you.

“What do you want?”

“Hostility and snappiness. Expected.”

“hostility and snappiness. expected. ... well good! I hate you right now.”

“Peyton honey, you don’t mean that.”

“Don’t you tell me that I do and don’t know what I mean. I know perfectly well.”

“Don’t you think this is all a bit...”

“A bit what? Oliver. huh? A bit of an overreaction? A bit too much? No. No I do not. 3 days. 3 days now since you so much as uttered more than a goodbye at the door in the morning, 3 nights since I’ve been able to sleep next to you at bedtime and every morning I fear I’ll wake up and find myself here alone. Knowing that the last thing I said to you made you stop talking to me. I never thought of you as starting to show signs of behaviour like your father. But your hostile energy the past 3 days has drained me! I told you I’m pregnant with your kid and you’ve given me nothing but radio silence. So no! I don’t think this is an overreaction, I think this is perfectly justified.”

“.........”

“What? Cat got your tongue?”

“Peyton... Peyton I’m sorry.”

“Save it. I don’t want an apology. I’m not trying to guilt trip you. I want you to come and speak with me when you’re ready to discuss our child. Until then.. keep with the radio silence. I’m used to it by now.” You snapped as you got up and stomped passed him, going back into the house. “Baby please!” he pleaded following close behind you. But you ignored him, entering the cinema room and closing the door in his face, locking it in one swift action. “Peyton!” he shouted with defeat in his voice and he slapped his palm against the door. “Peyton, I’m not going anywhere until we’ve talked.” You ignored his pleas, turning on a movie and putting the volume as loud as you could for the hour of day it was. Eventually you needed to pee and as you couldn’t hear Oliver anymore, you assumed he had gone back downstairs to the couch. You unlocked the door, opening it and walked out, rolling your eyes when you heard your name being mumbled. “Peyton?” Oliver asked sleepily, as he sat up rubbing the crust from his eyes. You ignored him still, shutting the bathroom door and went to the toilet, rolling your eyes when you opened the door and saw him standing there, leaning across the wall. “It’s dinner time. You best order yourself something like you have been.” You said coldly as you passed him to head to the kitchen and cook yourself some food, but he stopped you, grabbing your wrist. “Peyton will you just LISTEN?” he said with a raised voice, making you jump a little at his tone. “fine.” You sulked. “Thank you.” He sighed

“I’m not saying I’m innocent. Far from it. My behaviour is inexcusable to be quite frank but you have to understand. What you said to me was a shock. I wasn’t expecting it. Yes 3 days without talking to you was irrational and uncalled for but I needed the time to reflect on things. It’s not easy being an 18th century man in the modern world. I’m still adjusting and thanking god for every day he gives me here with you. It’s been 10 years, yes. But I spent 25 of my years growing up and getting used to life in the 1700’s. I... it’s-“

“Oliver....”

Your hand came up  and rested on his cheek and he lent into your embrace as your eyes locked on one another’s, both filled with tears. Emotion thick in the air as you stared at each other. “Look. I’m sorry for being hostile. It’s just. Your long silence was hurting me, and I reached my boiling point. It’s no excuse but...” you whispered as he softly pulled you closer to him as he lent back on the door frame of the bathroom. “You had a reason to be mad. And it was a valid one.” He mumbled with a small smile playing on his lips. “Can we just... move past this whole thing and get back to normal?” he asked. You wanted to continue being harsh and pull away from him, but your heart was telling you to forgive him. After all you love this man with all you have. You weren’t going to just throw that away over one rough patch. You gave him a soft chaste kiss before leaning your forehead on his and closing your eyes, enjoying the closeness between you that you had missed so much the past 3 days. “I’m sorry.” You whispered moving to rest your head on his chest, “I’m sorry too. How about I order food for the both of us tonight?” He whispered back as he hugged you close, and you nodded against his chest. In one swift motion he lifted you up with your wrapping your legs round his waist as he carried you to your bedroom and put you down softly on the bed and laid next to you, taking his phone from his pocket.

“What do you feel like having?”

“Anything.”

“Hmm.. Wait! What can pregnant women eat? Can they even have takeout?”

“Olly. Relax. Just get us some Chinese or burgers yeah?

“Okay.”

He smiled and kissed the crown of your head as you snuggled closer to him, enjoying his warmth. Whilst you waited for your food to arrive, you spoke about your pregnancy.

“So.. how long have you known?”

“Three months. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miscarry before telling you. I know you’d be devastated if that happened.”

“Oh.. wow. Now it makes full sense why you were so mad.”

“Yeah. Well. Let’s move on from that hey?”

“Yeah..”

“I love you, Oliver.”

“I love you too, P”

That night you ate together in your bedroom, watching TV and laughing at some funny animal and meme compilation videos. The thick tension that hung between you earlier, now gone with the wind and only love between you as you each stole adoring glances at each other with smiles, before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

---------- 5 months later ----------

You sat at home in the living area on a gym ball as you waited for Oliver to bring you some water from the kitchen, the both of you waiting for your midwife to arrive as you had gone into labor about 45 minutes ago and had chosen to have a home birth. “Water.” Oliver announced, grabbing your attention and you snapped your head in his direction. You graciously took it from him and sipped some through the straw before he took it from you, placing it on the coffee table. “How’s the pain? Still manageable for now?” he asked as he took your hand rubbing soothing circles on it. You smiled at him and nodded. Soon your contractions started getting worse and you dug your nails into Oliver’s arms, you were in the middle of gripping onto him to make it through a contraction when the doorbell rang. “WHO WOULD KNOCK AT SUCH AN INAPPROPRIATE MOMENT?!” you yelled, Oliver chuckled “Relax. It’s the midwife.” You let go of him so he could get the door. Screaming in pain again as he welcomed her into the home. “OLIVERRRRRRRRRRR!” he ran through into the room with his eyes widened and held onto you again, letting you grip onto him and stare into his eyes. “It’s okay, love. This will be over soon.” he soothed. “It better. It’s been two hours already! And it’s your fault!” you complained, howling out in pain as yet another contraction came, more intense than the last. Three more hours past and you were now on the floor, laying on towels with a pillow under your head about to give your final push and deliver your baby into the world. “You’ve done amazing beautiful. One final push. Are you ready?” Oliver asked, briefly looking at the midwife who nodded. “And push Peyton. Push! push! push!” he told you and you gripped his hand draining the colour from both of your knuckles as you gave one final push feeling your baby pop out and you let your body relax as you panted, Oliver wiped the sweat from your forehead with a cool washcloth before giving you small tender cheek kisses and hugging you whilst the medical personnel took care of your child before bringing them over to you, the midwife smiling brightly. “Congratulations mom and dad. You have a beautiful and healthy baby boy!” she exclaimed quietly as she handed you your child. You looked at Oliver with a new found fondness as he gently stroked the little amount of hair on your son’s head cooing quietly, “Welcome to the world little man.” He sniffled, the emotion of the moment finally getting to him as he shed a few tears and rested his head on the opposite side of your chest looking at your son, placing his finger into his tiny fist. “I already love you so much. I’m going to be the best father to you. Spoil you with so many gifts as you grow up you’ll be sick of me giving you stuff.” He mumbles as he lets out a chuckle through his tears. You look down on your soon-to-be husband and newborn son, smiling at them as a feeling of completeness washed over you. In all of your years on this earth you would never had guessed this is where you would now be. In a house with the love of your life who you had to travel back in time to find, only to have to leave him again and have him follow you to the future then willingly choose to settle down with you, in the future and essentially throw away everything in his life so far.. Everything felt surreal but it was perfect.

A few moments later everything had been taken care of and Oliver saw the medics and midwife out of your home as you got comfortable on the sofa cradling your newborn, looking down at his perfect face you smiled softly. “You definitely have your daddy’s charm little man. You’re going to drive the women mad when you’re a teenager.” you whispered to him as Oliver re-entered the room. “Well hopefully he’ll find a woman who is as beautiful as you and not settle for less than he’s meant for.” Oliver spoke quietly as he sat down next to you. You turned to him with a sleepy smile and tilted your head up for a kiss, which Oliver happily gave you.

“Why don’t you go and have a lay down upstairs? I’ll take care of our little one.”

“But we haven’t named him yet. Are you sure?”

“P. We can come up with a name for him after you’ve had a rest and got some food into yourself when you wake up okay?”

“Okay. Thank you sweetheart, I love you so much”

“I love you too my little cinnamon bun”

You giggled as Oliver gave you another kiss before you carefully handed over your son and headed upstairs to bed with a yawn escaping your lips. Sometime later you awoke to the sound of crying and Oliver desperately trying his best to cheer your little boy up as he neared the room. You sat up as they entered the room, suddenly noticing the wet patches on your top you realized your baby was most likely hungry. “Hey. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Oliver said with an apologetic smile as he stepped into the room. “It’s okay. He’s probably hungry. Pass him here” You said as you propped yourself up comfortably with pillows and lifting your top. “So. That’s going to be a thing now huh?” Oliver asked as he sat next to you, your child’s crying quietening as he latched onto you and started feeding. “what? Me getting my boobs out? You should be used to it by now.” You joked with a smirk. “Oh I am, just not for this purpose.” He chuckled as he looked back to you with something deep in his eyes.

“What’s that look for?”

“What look?”

“The look in your eyes. I’ve never seen it before.”

“Peyton. You know that I love you right?”

“Yes.”

“Well... I think you should know that I don’t only love you. I fucking adore you. So freaking much. I... I never thought I would find anything like what I have with you. I don’t want to go too deeply because it will ruin my wedding speech in a few week’s time. But please, Peyton. Know that I don’t only love you. But I adore you. So much more than you’ll ever know.”

You smiled at Oliver fondly as he took your free hand in both of his, lacing his warm fingers through your slightly cold ones. You looked down at your baby as he finished feeding and you popped your breast away, “Could you remove your shirt and burp him for me? I really need to stretch out” you asked Oliver who happily removed his shirt before taking his son back from you and burping him whilst you stretched out next to the bed. “Oop. Oh dear, sickies. We’ve got sickies mommy, can we get a cloth please?” Oliver asked in the cutest voice you’d ever heard come from him, you rushed next door to the nursery and grabbed a sick cloth bringing it back to Oliver. “Here you go babe.” You said handing it to him. “Thank you. Say thank you mommy.” He said again in the same tone as he looked at your son cleaning up the sick. “I’m going to go grab a shower, will you be okay putting him down to sleep?” you asked, “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” Oliver said as he looked up at you with a smile which you returned as you gave him a quick kiss before disappearing into the bathroom. You were in the middle of enjoying the warm water when the bathroom door opened, and Oliver appeared naked. “Mind if I join you?” he asked. “No. come in. I welcome you.” you smile as you open the shower door for him. He steps in and immediately hugs you. But this isn’t like many of the shower hugs you’ve shared before, where you could tell he wanted something kinky. This hug was warm and caring, it was close and way more intimate than any hug before. “Did he go down okay?” you asked as you returned the hug, “Out like a light.” Oliver replied softly, as he kept you in his embrace and let out a happy and content sigh. You felt it too, the feeling that comes from the type of sigh he just let out. The two of you hugged in the shower until the water turned cold then washed yourselves before getting out and dressed in some fresh clothes, heading downstairs to cook dinner, Oliver grabbing the baby monitor on the way out of the room. After looking through the ingredients you have, you settle on making a tomato and basil soup, chatting with Oliver as you chop ingredients together. Once the soup is done, Oliver dishes some up into bowls whilst you cut the bread and put some butter on a small plate, placing them on the kitchen island. That night you both cuddle up in bed, ready to take it in turns on getting up through the night, more excited for your upcoming wedding than ever before.

------ 4 months later -------

Today is the day. The biggest day of your life. One you feel sadness from at the fact you can’t share this with the crew you got to know all those years ago but nonetheless you feel happiness as you’re finally moments away from marrying Oliver. Sticking to the tradition of not seeing you before the wedding, Oliver is currently at a hotel close to the church where you’re set to get married. You’re standing on a platform as the final finishing touches are being put to your wedding dress when there’s a knock at the door. “Oh. That’s probably hair and make-up! I’ll let them in.” one of the dress staff beamed as they raced in the direction of the front door.

“uhh. We’re lost.. we were -”

“We were walking through the market when we suddenly found ourselves getting up here. Wherever here is of course.”

“Oh well um.. I’m only here to fit a woman with her wedding dress but if you want to know what state you’re in currently. It’s New York.”

“New... York?”

“Yes, in America. New York, you know. ... Are you guys okay? You all look rather dazed perhaps you should- ... wait here please.”

The member of staff comes jogging back into the room looking rather perplexed. “What is it?” you asked politely making sure to only move your head in her direction, “There’s a group of people outside. They’re dressed rather oddly and look as if they’ve bumped their heads or something. They seem lost.” She says. You think for while and nod to yourself. “let them in and take them to the kitchen? Maybe offer them a glass of water each too. I’ll be through soon to see what they want.” You said and the staff member nodded. You heard the sound of heavy boots come into your house and thought it must be some building contractors as you stood having the final touches put to your dress. It felt like hours but really it was only a few minutes before you were being helped down from the platform to look at yourself in the mirror at your wedding dress. It was lucky you hadn’t had your make-up done yet other wise it would be ruined with the fact you just burst into happy tears. Today was by far going to be the most emotional day you’ve experienced. “I look beautiful. Just like Oliver said I would. Thank you so much Julie, you’re a saint.” You smiled as you turned and gave her a warm hug. She returned the hug before pulling away and handing you a tissue. “Just doing my job sweetheart. Now. You best go and see what those dazed people were doing outside your house.” You nodded as you suddenly remembered there were people in your kitchen and glided through stopping in shock at the kitchen doorway at the faces that stared at you. There was no way it was them. In an attempt to confirm your mind was playing tricks on you, you walked up to Jonas and tried to swipe your hand through him, wincing in pain when your hand connected to his hard bicep creating a slapping sound. “Oooowwww.” You winced as you shook your hand before going around the kitchen and poking everyone else. No. They aren’t here are they? This is just some sick joke. Some lookalikes, playing a joke on you. In what you perceive to be natural thinking, you grab a plastic ladle from the utensils draw and hold it in one of the women’s faces.

“State your real name and where you’re from.”

“uhhhh. Okay. My name is Charlotte Smith and I’m from Port Monarque...”

“LIES!”

“I’m not lying.”

“Prove it.”

“Your name is Peyton Bellamy. You sailed on the Poseidon’s Revenge with this crew for a while a few years back. Fell in love with a navy officer called Oliver, he followed you through the portal when you had to leave. Though we have no way of knowing if he made it to you or somewhere else.. the portal. I, along with Edward, sealed the portal for good. Everyone is, or well... should be, stuck in the times they are in. Which begs the question of why and how we’re here.”

There’s a silence following Charlie’s statement as you take time to absorb everything before a familiar voice sounds above the noise. “Not to interrupt the silence but your dress is very beautiful Peyton. Are you getting married?” a cheerful looking young girl asks, although you remember her looking a lot younger when you last saw her. “G-Ginny?” you asked in shock as if only now registering that it’s her. She waves with a smile and you move to hug her, your maternal instincts kicking in. “Oh, how are you? Have you eaten? The lady who let you in gave you water right?” you asked as you moved to a cupboard, pulling out your snack box and opening it. “Here. Help yourself to a snack.” You beamed holding the box out to her, “OOOO. Thank you Peyton.” She grinned as she took a snack from the box before you snapped the lid on and slid it back into the cupboard. “Peyton, hair and make up is here, darling.” Julie said as she walked into the room, stopping short upon seeing all the people in the room. “Okay. Thanks Julie, do you think you could fit in 3 last minute dress fittings at your shop? It doesn’t matter the style of the dress, just so long as they look gorgeous.” You beam as you shoo Maggie, Charlie and Ginny towards the door. “But what if I don’t want a dress? What’s even going on?” Maggie protests. “I’m getting married and I want you 3 to be bridesmaids and if you don’t want a dress, find a really nice blush pink suit or a jumpsuit. I don’t mind I just want you there.” You beamed and returned to the kitchen with your house phone in hand as you called your driver. “... yep. Perfect. Thank you Jack.” You hung up and smiled at the boys. “Oh no.” Jonas grumbled. “Jonas.” Edward warned earning an eyeroll. “You’ll be going to the hotel and meeting up with my groom. He’ll sort you guys with suits and stuff. But you’ll have to wait out front for my driver. I need to go and get my hair and make-up done.” You smiled and pushed them outside closing the door before rushing into the living room. The note you got through your door 2 months prior to this moment suddenly making sense. You were getting your old crew to make good memories with for 24 hours from the time they knocked on your door. You had no idea how the magic worked that sent you to the past or how it brought them to you today, but you were happy that they were here and that’s all that matters.

You’d been up since the crack of dawn and it was now late afternoon and time for the ceremony. You paced back and forth in your room nervous as you waited for someone to come and retrieve you and walk you down the aisle. To help calm your nerves you sang yourself a little tune, lost in nerves and song you didn’t notice two of your friends slip into the room. “Um. Peyton?” a soft female voice sounded, making you jump to attention. “Avery. Raleigh. Hey.” You smiled and hugged them before taking a seat, nervously fiddling with your hands. “How are you feeling?” Avery asked, her sweet smile you’ve always loved on her face, “Nervous.” You smiled back. “I’m excited for the reception.” Raleigh commented, “Yeah. Only because you’ll finally be able to drink some beer.” You teased with a chuckle and he held his hands up in mock surrender as another figure appeared at the door, knocking loudly. “It’s time.” They said. Avery and Raleigh smiled at you before giving you a quick hug and heading back into the main room. “Are you ready my dear?” your Aunt Penelope asked you. “I’ve been ready since I met him Aunt P” you beamed, taking her arm and walking beside her to the doors. As you listened to the music playing on the other side of the doors, your aunt turned to you. “You know. Your mother would be proud of you Peyton, and she’d make sure every soul on earth here today knew it. I know as you’re up there today she’ll be looking down on you, smiling her beautiful smile and cheering you on. ... Oh, come here lovely.” She said as she pulled you into a warm embrace. “Aunt p. you’re going to ruin my make-up before I’ve even set one foot down the aisle.” You joked as you dabbed some tears away carefully. Soon the big doors opened, and you set off down the aisle towards Oliver. As you moved closer to him, you took a look around at all the faces surrounding you, there to share and witness one of the happiest days in your life. As you looked at Charlie, Maggie and Ginny you had to stop yourself from crying at how beautiful they all looked as they gave you a small wave, which you returned. You had to hand it to Julie, she was the best at her job and the 3 women who had arrived only hours before were living proof of how fast she could work her magic. Soon you found yourself face to face with Oliver, who looked at you with tears in his eyes and he lent towards you. “You look stunning.” He whispered in your ear, warmth laced in his voice. As the priest stood in front of you and Oliver the music died down and everyone rises from there seats to hear the words of welcome and introduction

“We welcome you here today for the ceremony that will join Oliver Cochrane and Peyton Bellamy together in Holy Matrimony. They will spend their lives together wed in love and companionship, creating memories to carry them through this life and into the next. Now, would anyone like to say a few words before we move onto the exchanging of vows?”

“I do!” Ginny’s voice popped up as she raised her hand, she stepped forward as the priest took a step back from the podium.

“Uh. Hi everyone! My name is Ginny and I’ve known Peyton and Oliver since I was about 9 years old and I’m now almost 21. I just want to say that there couldn’t be two people who are more deserving of each other than these two. They’ve been through a lot together, especially when they first started seeing each other. I know there were a lot of fights in those first few months, but it led to them being one of the strongest pairs of people I know. I just want to wish them the happiest of luck in there years together going forward from today. I know their time together so far has been full of joy and some... in hind sight very... stupid fights. But their love has and will outlast it all.”

She steps away from the podium and back to her spot within the bridesmaids and the ceremony carries on without a hitch, just the occasional grumble from your baby boy. That night at the reception things are going smoothly and Oliver has just tapped his glass to give a speech and all eyes are turned in your direction. You smile up at Oliver as you cradle your sleeping son in your arms as he starts speaking.

“I just want to start by thanking everyone for getting here today to share this joyous occasion with myself as well as my beautiful wife, Peyton here. ... I have never really been one to be fond on speaking of my feelings and affairs of the heart. That was until this beautiful young woman came into my life 11 and a half years ago that is. I started getting sentimental a few months ago when she gave birth to our son, Colton Oliver Bellamy-Cochrane. As she was giving him his first proper feed, I was telling her... I was telling her about how I don’t only just love her but, I adore her. I wouldn’t go into too much detail because I didn’t want to ruin my speech today but now that today is here... Peyton Bellamy-Cochrane... I adore you more than the stars adore the galaxy, the way you smile even when you’re having a rough day when I make goofy faces or pinch your cheeks. Your giggle to your full-on belly laughs where you end up rolling on the floor from laughter. It lights up my whole world brighter than any past relationship of mine has. You’ve pushed me to become a great man, to achieve more than I would have, had I not met you. You.. you’ve given me a family, a beautiful home, a heart full of love and a brain full of beautiful moments that I’ll cherish forever even after I leave this world. I was never one for opening my heart to others and baring my soul, but you took on that task and I’m glad you did. Because it made I, Oliver Bellamy-Cochrane.... the luckiest man in the whole galaxy as I stand here today with you as my wife. Thank you for being so persistent and ..... just, thank you. A toast. TO PEYTON!” he smiles with adoration in his eyes as he looks down at you, happy tears spilling out of your eyes at his beautiful speech and he passes you a napkin. “Thank you.” You sniffle and dab the tears away as you gently rock a grumbling Colton in your arms. Oliver sat down and lent over giving you a tender kiss on the lips before whispering in your ear.

“Technically we’ve been together for 228 years, but I’ll digress and keep that a thing between those of us who know hey?”

You giggled at the playfulness in his voice before carefully leaning forward and locking your lips together, but it was short lived as you heard heels approaching you, so you pulled away from each other and looked up to be met with a smiling Ginny. “Hey. How’s the happy family?” she asked, crouching down so she’s eye level with the two of you. “We’re..” you said looking at Oliver, “We’re doing amazing. Thank you Ginny.” Oliver smiled. “I’m glad you have a happy ending here Oliver. I know you had a rough time with your father but it’s clear you wanted him here today. Just know, despite whatever his morals were, he’d be proud of his son for making such an important step in his life with someone he loves. Because he will always love you Oliver no matter how twisted his version of the truth was.” Ginny says sympathetically. “Yes. Well.. Thank You Ginny. You’re a great kid.” Oliver smiled softly ruffling her hair. “Hey!” she laughed as Oliver laughed with her. There was a short but comfortable silence. “Could I hold him?” she asked you pointing to Colton, “Sure, grab a seat!” you exclaimed calmly, remembering not to wake him. Oliver got out of his seat. “Here take mine.” He smiled and Ginny thanked him before sitting down. You carefully handed him over and smiled as Ginny cooed quietly over how cute he is as she looked at him. “Why don’t you guys take a break and go share a dance or something? I can hold him for a while” she smiled at the two of you. You exchanged looks with her as if to ask if she was sure and she nodded eagerly. You thanked her and then headed to the bar to get another orange juice with Oliver, snuggling into his warm embrace as you waited for the bartender to be finished with other patrons at your wedding.

“You know... today turned out to be pretty great. We got our old friends at our special day after all.”

“Yeah, I’ll never understand how the magic works but.. I’m grateful it gave me you. The best husband a woman could ever ask for. My own prince charming.”

“then I guess that makes you some kind of Cinderella huh?”

“Oliver!” you giggled as you playfully shoved his chest.

It was extremely late when you got home that night with Oliver, Colton and your friends. You let them borrow some clothes to sleep in knowing you had until almost noon the next day with them so you could all at least enjoy a nice hearty breakfast together. Sleep came easy for your guests and yourself. Oliver had insisted you just sleep and let him take care of Colton when he needed something as he had moved to being bottle fed, due to not being able to latch onto you properly for mealtimes.

The next morning when you woke up, you were met with the sight of Oliver on his back and your son fast asleep on his chest. Not daring to disturb the peaceful scene you carefully got up and made your way to the kitchen starting to cook up the biggest fry up of your life for your guests. You were halfway done when some sleepy people walked into the kitchen clearly following the smell of food. “Morning Kendrick, Jonas.” You chimed with a grin but just got waves back, you gave them each a cup of coffee. They sleepily accepted it, drinking the warm liquid. Soon everyone except Oliver was in the kitchen enjoying your cooking, excitedly chatting over how amazing the flavors were and how they wish they weren’t on limited time so they could enjoy more food of the modern world. Whilst they chatted excitedly you slipped off to your bedroom, smiling seeing the scene was still the same. You gently lifted Colton off of Oliver’s chest, causing him to stir and look at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey honey. You go back to sleep, everyone’s having breakfast, but I’ll save you some and leave it in the microwave for later. Thank you for staying up with him last night. It means the world.”

“Anything for my beautiful wife.”

You smiled at him as he spoke in his deep sleepy tone, bending down to give him a small kiss before taking Colton and settling him in his crib in the next room, then coming back and chuckling to yourself as Oliver was still pretty much in his full suit. You could tell he was too tired to get undressed himself so you carefully removed his trousers and unbuttoned his shirt so he wouldn’t strangle himself, covering him with the duvet as you pressed another soft kiss to his temple, he smiled sweetly in his sleep and mumbled something that sounded like “mmm love you” so you whispered an “I love you” back before heading out of the room with the baby monitor in hand and went back to the kitchen. “Will Oliver be joining us this morning Peyton?” Ginny asked with some hopefulness in her eyes. “I don’t think so. He was up all night with Colton so I could get some sleep myself. Now it’s my turn to take over and let him rest. It was a long night too, so he won’t be up much before 4 this afternoon.” You explained as you plated and wrapped up food for him. “Oh.” She said with disappointment. “Why? What’s up?” you asked her. “It’s nothing. Not really. I just wanted to give him this.” she said as she presented a small-ish box on the table. Looking confused you slid the box closer to yourself and opened it. “Ginny are these?” you asked looking at her. “His father’s medals? Yeah. I don’t know how they ended up staying in our time, but I saved my spoils for months knowing they were in a certain shop. I just got lucky that nobody else wanted them and they stayed in there for so long. Could you give them to him for me?” she asked hopefulness in her eyes. You smiled at her, “Of course sweetie. I’m sure he’ll be eternally grateful. It’s a thoughtful thing to do.” You said softly, leaning across the counter to give her a hug. Next to you, Charlie cleared her throat, “We’ll be leaving soon guys, I can feel it so if you want to say goodbye...” She said sternly to hide her emotion as she tilted her head towards you. Kendrick was the first to reach you. “It’s been a long time since we saw each other lass but being able to spend the last 24 hours with you and Oliver was a gift. Congratulations on everything.”

One by one your friends all said goodbye to you, until the only person left in the kitchen was Charlie. “Charlie?” you asked, she took a moment before turning to you. “I’m glad he made it to you love. It’s great you two got your happiness like you truly deserve and to see that he’s such a care-free man compared to his father. It makes me feel foolish for judging him in the first place just because of the type of person his father was. And... congratulations. To both of you on everything. I’m proud of you.” She said with a bitter sweetness to her tone. “hug for the road?” you asked. She hesitated momentarily before embracing you tightly briefly before walking to the kitchen door. “Goodbye love” she smiled before disappearing round the corner, you followed them to wave goodbye, but they were already gone. Now feeling bittersweet yourself you went back into the kitchen, clearing the dishes away before grabbing the baby monitor and walking to the living area to watch TV not daring to wake Oliver.

Later that night you were preparing a bottle for Colt when Oliver sleepily walked into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes and yawning. “mmm. hey gorgeous.” He mumbled snaking his arms round your waist, kissing your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder. “Nice sleep?” you asked him and got a nod in reply. Oliver cuddled you as you fed Colton and he woke up properly. Once Colton was settled, you stood in the kitchen with Oliver making 2 mugs of tea. “I guess the other’s have gone?” he asked softly, you just nodded before remembering the box Ginny gave you. “Ginny left these for you. Felt like you were meant to have them.” You said giving him the box along with his tea. He picked the box up frowning but his jaw dropped when he opened the box and saw it’s contents. “These are-“ he said, and you just nodded as he looked at you. He suddenly teared up. “She’s such a thoughtful and great kid. I hope she finds a love that pays her properly. If anything bad happens to her and she’s not protected..” he said tensely. “Hey.. babe relax. She has Jonas AND Kendrick to watch her. Not to mention Edward.. he wouldn’t let anyone harm a single hair on any of there heads.” You reassured him. He nodded putting the lid back on the box and drinking his tea. After an eventful evening you settled in bed with Oliver after putting Colton to bed and watched the night sky out of the window as you drifted slowly to sleep, knowing that no matter what, you had Oliver with you for the rest of your life. He was going to be by your side with you in everything, the good, bad and gosh darn ugly. He was going to be there for you through it all, just as much as you were him. That and the fact you had a son to raise together which you were ready for, you would protect him with your life, the only part you were dreading was Oliver teaching him to pull pranks on you when you were least expecting it.

[shallwedancetogether]

HEARTBEAT

Chapter Ten

The next morning Gemma woke them up bright and early. She began to pull back the curtains to the tent, “Harry! Hannah! Time to party!!” She let out a quiet gasp when she saw that Harry and Hannah were in the same bed. Harry was shirtless with his arm around Hannah’s side, so Gemma could only assume something happened last night. Luckily, she couldn’t see that Harry was only in his boxers next to Hannah in her underwear, and knowing his sister, she would’ve flipped out on the spot.

Hannah and Harry stirred in bed. “Oh gosh,” Hannah spoke. She immediately sat up. “Hey, Gemma.”

“Soooo…. You two slept in the same bed?”

Hannah’s eyes went wide at the realization of what Gemma walked in on. “Well I refused to let him sleep on the floor, as much as he insisted. He paid for a lot for me to be here so I couldn’t let him do that.”

Gemma tried to read both of their faces to see if one of them would break and say what actually happened, especially Harry since he was always truthful with his older sister. “Mhmm… Sure…” She took a short pause to see if either of the two wanted to mention anything else, her eyes scanning them. “Well, Louis just got back with breakfast so come on and eat, drink some mimosas!” She said as she turned on her heels to walk out.

Once Gemma left the tent, Harry turned to Hannah who was searching for new clothes to wear for the day. “Sorry I put my arm around you during the night, wasn’t intentional.”

Hannah giggled at Harry, “It’s quite alright. I know you enjoy a cuddle while you sleep.”

Harry blushed slightly at this. “That I do, but still, after the conversation we started last night, I’m very sorry.”

Hannah placed her hand on Harry’s bicep to console him, “You don’t need to apologize for anything, H.” Hannah chewed her bottom lip, a nervous habit. “But maybe keep what happened between us on the down low? At least ‘til we have time to actually discuss it?”

“Sure,” he replied, a small smile playing on his lips as memories of their kiss last night flashed in his mind and tingled on his lips.

“Thank you. I just don’t wanna make things more complicated than they already are.” She smiled up at him.

“Though you should know, Gemma has already told at least three people what she just walked in on.”

“I figured as much, but I think that’s all they need to know for now, yeah?” Harry nodded in agreement. “I’m gonna go get ready for the day, and I’ll meet you back here soon for breakfast, ok?” She kissed his cheek and began to walk away. “Make sure to save me some food!”

Harry put on a t-shirt to go with the sweatpants he already put on. “Ayyye! There’s my man!” Louis called out to Harry as he approached the table filled with eggs and pancakes. Louis looped an arm around Harry’s shoulders as he began to grab a plate. Much more quietly this time, “So I hear you and Hannah ~cuddled~ last night.”

Harry threw his head back in annoyance. “On accident! Ugh, I knew that Gemma would say something.” He let out a big sigh. “It’s not what you think.”

“Well, tell me what to think then! Come on, bud!”

Harry eyed Louis. “Please don’t say anything else to anyone until I actually know what’s going on. I promised Han I wouldn’t say anything.”

“You have my word.” Harry trusted Louis that he’d keep what he was about to say a secret.

Harry began to fill his plate with food along with Louis who joined in next to him. “So, when we came back last night, we smoked. And we were both definitely feeling the high.” Harry paused, unsure if he should still say something about all this since he just told Hannah he wouldn’t, but he also needed to talk to somebody about this, and he knew Louis could keep his mouth shut.

Louis’ eyebrows wiggled on his forehead. “And…?”

“And…. We kissed.” Louis raised his eyebrows with a small gasp taken in, and Harry gave him a jab in his side. “Ok, we made out, and that’s all that happened. The only thing we know is that we are both seeing other people. We went to bed after I mentioned that I’m kind of still seeing Cami, agreeing to talk about it later.”

“Hm, well, it definitely sounds like you’ve gotten yourself into a very sticky situation. Also, you ‘accidentally cuddled’?”

“I must’ve started cuddling her in my sleep. It wasn’t a conscious thing.” Harry’s shoulders were partially scrunched up from stressing about this but let them sink down as he continued to talk about his thoughts. “I broke up with her over a year yet here I am still hung up on her, even initiating all this between us. She’s happy in her current relationship, and I’m fucking it all up.”

They walked away from everyone else and stood eating their breakfast so no one would hear their conversation. “How do you know she’s happy with this new guy?”

“Well she definitely expressed it when we had lunch a month ago.”

“It seems that if she was truly happy she would’ve cut you off after your concert. And a lot can happen in a month. I mean, she is here with you instead of at home with her boyfriend.”

“I’ve thought about that, but I just don’t want to get my hopes up if I’m wrong.”

As if on cue to end the conversation, Hannah walked up with a plate full of food, dressed and ready for the day. “What are you guys doing over here? Party is behind you!” She took a bite of her scrambled eggs.

Louis chimed in, seeing as Harry was thrown off and knowing he afraid she overheard them talking. “Just catching up! I was just about to tell Harry that he needs to go get ready for the day.”

Hannah chimed in in agreement. “Yes! You do! I wanna see as many performers as I can today. So, get your ass to the showers!” Louis smacked Harry on the butt, causing a giggle to leave Hannah’s lips. They both walked away from Harry as his heart fluttered at the sound of her laugh. He used this time to collect his thoughts. What the hell am I supposed to do here? Fuck. She’s so amazing, Harry thought to himself as he watched Hannah walk away. Today she was wearing two plaid pieces. Her top was a bandeau with purple plaid paired with a plaid orange skirt and some black combat boots to top it off.

Confidence was radiating off of her, and it was something she honestly hadn’t felt in a long time. She didn’t even need any alcohol to get her to feel like this, and she was happy for it. Everyone could see it around her. Harry was staring her down, watching her every move. If something bad happened between them after this weekend, he needed to remember how she looked when she was happy with him. She caught his gaze though, shooting him a daring wink that made his heart skip a beat. She was brave, flirting with him like this. They couldn’t have each other, but with every move she made, he just wanted to be right there next to her, even just to witness her actions. She captivated him, and she had no idea.

Harry walked away into their tent to get ready for the day, and even though she knew she wasn’t missing out on anything, Hannah immediately missed his presence. When they dated a year ago, she always missed his presence, but she also expected him to be gone. He was filming a movie and writing an album; she knew what she was in for. But now she knew that he was free of his responsibilities for the time being, she didn’t want to miss him for a second, especially considering she didn’t know when, or if, she would see him again.

It was weird feeling like this. She occasionally missed Ryan, especially the first few months of their relationship when they had to be separated by school, but that seemed to disappear. She felt as if she was just going through the motions. She hadn’t really been fully enjoying herself, but she knew that he was good for her. So far at least. He held her when she needed to be held. He praised her for her accomplishments, and she did the same for him. But there were those times that he talked down to her, like he was better than her, and she was not fond of that. But he was good for her. Yeah, some people thought he was controlling at times, but she needed someone to push her and motivate her. He was good for her, though he did have his downsides, just as everyone does. He’d blatantly flirt with other girls in front of her, once even while still holding Hannah’s hand. But they talked through it, and so far, it has yet to happen this summer. Unless he’s doing it behind my back. With that pushed to the past, she thought that she was happy, but there was something about being here at this music festival with Harry. She was bursting at the seams just being in Harry’s presence. No, stop that. Ryan is good for you. He’s there for you when you needed him. He’s never a continent away.

Hannah was pulled out of her thoughts as Lottie asked if she wanted a drink, forcing her to socialize instead of fantasizing about Harry. She gladly accepted and began to enjoy herself as the sun was beating down on her skin, heating up her cold body. Time really flies by when you’re having fun, and before she knew it, Harry came back out from the tent ready for the day. He walked right up behind Hannah, poking her sides to scare her, succeeding. She has always been one that scares easy, even when she knows someone is going to come around the corner she’ll jump.

A few drops spilled from her cup as she gasped at Harry’s touch. She turned around and swatted him. “You asshole! You know I hate when people do that!” By now, their entire friend group was laughing at Hannah’s dismay. Harry let out a deep laugh, putting a hand to his stomach. “You’re gonna pay for this, Styles. Just you wait.”

He smirked back at her while raising his eyebrows before he walked away, “Mhmm, yeah. Sure, I definitelybelieve you,” easily making Hannah irritated.

He came back a few moments later with a drink in his hand. As he walked up, Hannah turned to ask him to apply sunscreen to her back as she could feel her skin beginning to burn. She didn’t think much into what she had just asked Harry to do until his hands were touching her skin. Immediately, his touch sent shivers all over her body. He massaged the sunscreen into her shoulders, and it felt amazing. After applying the lotion to the top half of her back, he moved down to the exposed skin between the bottom of her bandeau and the top of her skirt. Hannah quietly moaned at his touch, not going unnoticed by Harry who now had a small smirk across his face. He rubbed the lotion into her lower back, gaining a “Oooh, that’s nice,” response from Hannah. She just might melt into the palms of his hands if he continued this way, a noticeable sense of heat rose from a very private region of hers.

On the other hand, Harry was just happy to be this close to her again. She now smelled like her flowery body mist and sunscreen, and he was not upset about it. He wished that he could stay close enough to her all time just to be able to wallow her scent. Her skin was as soft as silk, and he wanted to run his hands over every inch of her body. His thoughts began to imagine him slipping off her bandeau over her head and unzipping her skirt, but he quickly shook those thoughts out of his head as he felt his black jeans tighten. He finished applying sunscreen to Hannah’s back. “All set back here. Did you get everywhere else? You burn pretty easily.”

“Oh yes, and I’m probably going to have to apply more again later knowing my pale, Irish ass.” The two let out synchronized chuckles. “I like this shirt on you by the way.” His shirt was a see-through orange silk. It had hand drawn flowers, some with red petals and others with a deeper orange than the background of the shirt, dark green leaves attached to their stems. You could see all his tattoos perfectly, and Hannah just wanted to trace their outlines at the sight of them. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you wear it. It’s a rare occasion if Harry Styles repeats an outfit.”

“Don’t tell anyone. It’s my dirty little secret,” he said with a wink and a quick swipe of his tongue across his lips.

“I’ll be sure not to tell anyone,” Hannah said with a laugh.

Harry smiled back at her. “You also look amazing by the way. I never thought purple and orange would go together, but you’re pulling it off.”

“Why thank you, good sir.” Harry laughed at her horrible, fake English accent. “Looks like we’re kind of matching today.”

“Please, please never speak like that ever again.”

Hannah put a fake shocked expression across her face, “I sounded just like you!”

“My voice is way sexier than what you just did. Nice try.” Harry said as he walked around Hannah to put the sunscreen away.

Though she disagreed with what she was about to say, Hannah was determined to win this argument over her horrible accent. “Your voice is not sexy. Sounds like a little boy’s if you ask me.” She crossed her arms over her chest, slightly pushing up her breasts.

Harry started to speak in a very low tone as he walked back around to face his friend. The hairs on the back of Hannah’s neck stood up as he spoke. He made sure his hot breath hit her neck, “Don’t think I have forgotten how you used to tell me how much my voice turned you on when we used to lay naked between the sheets.” He caught her ear lobe between his teeth and nibbled ever so slightly, and it was enough to make that heat rise again from between her legs with a blush across her face. This set the tone for the entire day. Harry pulled away, now a safe, friendly distance away and said in a very soft voice, “I love the way a blush looks on your face.” And he walked away.

Flirtatious nothings exchanged for the remainder of the day. After that interaction, both of their feelings were heightened, and they couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other. Harry stood behind Hannah with his arms loosely wrapped around Hannah’s neck as her dainty fingers held onto his forearms. He would fetch new bottles of water for everyone, and after handing Hannah a new one, he’d wrap an arm around her shoulder, and she’d lean her head into his chest as he pulled her closer to his tall body. She’d wrap an arm around his waist, drawing small circles on his lower back. They attempted to keep their flirtatious gestures as friendly looking as possible. Hopefully no fans or paparazzi took pictures. Occasionally between sets, everyone would sit down on the blankets the group brought over with them, and, naturally, Hannah sat next to Harry. Sometimes she sat up and ran one hand up and down his jean covered shin or thigh mindlessly while she conversed with everyone. No one said anything, but everyone noticed immediately.

***********************************************************************************

Masterlist

[diningpageantry]

Intimacy

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18672919/chapters/47304547

Chapter 12/13 of Proximity (The Collision of Lonely Men)

Word Count: 6171

Summary: Spring break brings an opportunity to get out of town, leading Simon and Baz to new and unsure parts of their relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s cloudy today, just like every other day this week.

Like the week before.

And the week before that.

Except today, unlike all the overcast days that came before us, we’re at least going somewhere. Getting away from the stacked towers and mixture of old and new of Watford Academy, and going up North--up to Baz’s family’s country house that apparently sits a short walk from a small town.

Some picturesque type of place, with all the charm of a cheesy little rom-com.

A place where nobody really knows us, beyond maybe seeing Baz when he was younger. A place where, if we hold hands and snog in public, it won’t have any significant bearing onto our daily lives.

A place, in short, where I can be out.

Because it’s never us, when it comes to this. It hasn’t been about us being out--it’s about me. In all my confusing self-sabotage, I’ve been chewing and chewing on the fact that this frustration over us has just been me all along. I’m the villain trying to hold us back here, and I really quite hate that there’s nothing to blame besides myself.

I’m the beast to conquer. It’s even worse that I rarely hold onto even a tiny thought, yet I’m clinging to this one.

It’s scary. It’s new. It’s scary because it’s new, and it’s newly scary. And at least, at least I’ve got Baz here with me, because he’s not scared. Not anymore.

He’s to the point of this stone-cold, face-forward fearlessness that he walked right out of our flat with his shirt half undone, sauntering up to his car as I’m leaning against it. I’m wearing his Ray Bands (he says I look cooler in him than he does, but I think he’s lying), feeling the Volvo hum against my backside as I wait and watch him step out of the building.

He looks fantastic as always, which feels strikingly unfair to the gloom that’s been hanging over us. I feel washed in it, dressing in greys and beiges while he struts out in a the poshest possible shirt--soft violet with maroon and deep green floral detailing stitched in. He lets it hang open over his chest, tucked nicely into his black jeans.

“Bold move,” I hum gently, watching him toss one last bag into the boot. “Didn’t think you’d go to unbutton it ‘til we got out of town.”

He smirks a bit, giving the top a good nudge as it slams back shut. “Yes, well. Saw myself in the mirror and I couldn’t quite resist.”

For a split second, I’m sure he’s considering stepping over and kissing me, but his face drops a bit before going around and getting into the driver’s seat. I follow suit, hesitating as I relax into the leather before reaching over and lacing our hands together while chewing on a bit of my bottom lip. His head turns, taking full notice of my apprehension, then snaps back wordlessly as he moves to shift gears.

It isn’t long before the area grows to be unrecognizable. Blurs of passing countryside peaks and the rolling of hills, disappearing into vague greens and twinges of yellow. It’s gorgeous, and a bit of a hike.

Baz doesn’t make much of a fuss when I put on my headphones, knowing full well I’d warned him about my car sickness before hand. He just pouts a bit, but takes my hand and lets me zone out until it’s over (which takes a full Killers album and half an Offspring album).

Once we start passing through, he nudges me gently, letting me snap back into reality to watch us slowly make our way through town.

It’s pretty. Floral, at this time of the year. Not incredibly lively, but not dead, nonetheless. A few shops--the usual types of spots throughout. Pubs, a tailor, coffee shop, a few spots to eat, etc.

All charmingly safe.

All charmingly secure--all somewhere I can do what I feel impulsively--without the barrier of peers to stop my mind from doing it.

I lean across at a stop, kissing his cheek softly and feeling his smile tug before flying back and settling back into my seat.

“What was that for?”

I shrug, staring out my side window dazily. It feels like a rush--a chemical burst in my head. I wonder if this is what happiness is supposed to feel like. “Felt like it.”

I catch him smiling secretively all the way to the house.

Which, to my surprise, isn’t really the “Little cottage” he made it out to be. Rather, it’s a quite sizable estate that probably costs more than I’ll ever make before I’m fifty.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Baz,” I start, watching him turn the ignition off and unbuckle. “How fucking loaded is your family?”

His smile drops, lips twitched a tad as he yanks the keys out. “A bit too much,” he says, stepping out and turning to grab out stuff as I sit stunned, staring up at the building while he unpacks and starts inside.

I join closely behind him as he’s turning the front key through the locks, pushing the door (that’s bound to be hand carved, by the looks of it) open and letting the scent of the old building hit us as we step further in.

Someone must’ve come through and cleaned recently. It’s absolutely spotless, and smelling of an odd mix of what I can only describe as Pine Sol and just the plain waft of ancient wood and stone.

“Room’s upstairs.” Baz pushes past me, carrying three of our bags up at once as he starts to climb the seemingly twisting and turning set of wooden stairs that sits beside the set of kitchen doors. I sort of bound up after him, curiously peeking into the suite.

It’s ridiculously grand. Like some fucking five star place you stay at because you’re dating some posh arsehole.

Except, it isn’t some five star place, it’s one of his family’s fucking houses.

“Shit, Baz,” I breathe, leaning against the doorframe. “Do you take all the boys you shack up with here? Romance the shit out of them before the cult rituals begin? When do I lose my bloody mind?”

He rolls his eyes, settling down our bags and checking himself in the mirror (never the surprise). “You’re the first, believe it or not,” he says, shockingly soft, which nearly makes me drop my phone.

At first, it doesn’t entirely process. It isn’t much of a joke--he isn’t laughing, and neither am I, but it doesn’t feel like it should be real. Because he has a lifetime of being the hottest fucking bloke in the room, and yet he expects me to believe that I’m the first bastard he’s actually brought around.

“You’re kidding, right?”

He turns, raising a brow. “When do I joke about this sort of stuff, Snow?” he asks, brushing past me and turning back towards the stairs.

I stay in the room, making my way to sit on the bed as I listen carefully to him unloading the car, locking it, and heading inside.

I can’t really believe it. He can keep saying it, over and over again, but it feels fake.

Nearly four months in, and it feels fake.

Not the romance, and not us, but the fact that he likes me. That this isn’t some elaborate move to get the upper hand, and I’ll end up looking like an idiot on purpose.

And it must show--at least. The fact that I’m thinking like this must show, as Baz stops in the doorway to frown at me.

“What?”

I blink, eyes feeling cloudy as I try to shake it off.

This is real. This is real. “Hm? What? Nothing.”

“You were spacing. You only space when you’re overthinking.”

“That’s not true.”

He raises his brow and makes my skin flush. “You rarely ever think to begin with, Snow. The rare occasion that you do, you try to make up for all the lost thoughts and pile them on at once.”

I exhale, feeling the bed dip beside me as he sits. His hand wraps around mine, making my throat feel even tighter. Fucking hell, he doesn’t make it easy. “I’m--” I stop myself. I can’t say it.

I look at him, and it all runs to the back of my head.

There’s so much I want to say. So much that should be said, should be shared, and none of it seems to be coming out right, so I sigh. And shrug. And look away, because I’m really shit at this whole thing.

I’m trying. I really am. I want to try hard for him, but it’s hard.

But instead, I opt for leaning against him as his head falls onto mine, leaving us in a strangled silence.

“Why do you like me so much?” It comes out almost broken, trying to push its way back into my mouth as the words leave my lips.

He’s silent for a minute, letting me stay resting onto him until he does speak. “What’s making you all--”

“I just don’t know why you like me,” I start, sitting up. “I mean, unless I’m just the first one to last this long.”

“Are you implying I can’t hold a relationship?”

“I…” Fuck. This wasn’t meant to be a fight. “Fuck--no. Shit. I’d just meant--I mean… I don’t know what you see in me to take me along and show me your life and--”

“Because I like you.” His hand stays tightly around mine, voice sounding borderline stern. “I like you, Simon. I see a future with you. You might drive me up the bloody wall on occasion, but I think you’re someone I want around me for as long as you’ll keep me.”

His words fill my mouth but don’t let me swallow down--like a mouthful of dry spices. It’s there--it’s part of a meal, part of my life, but I can’t seem to let it into my body. It’s rejecting--I can’t take it like this. I can’t take it without something to swallow it down with.

I turn to him, searching his face for whatever can help it stick--help it stay with me. Settle in just right, and all I can seem to find is his lips, open in what seems like concern, but become my target.

I launch myself in, hands settling onto his face and tugging his jaw closer as I kiss and kiss and kiss until I feel him settle, kissing me back and letting it stick. Letting me sweetly pry his lips open and slip my tongue into his mouth, feeling the tremble in his movements as he takes my sides and tugs me closer.

His words are something I find myself being cautiously unsure of, but his movements? His body? The way he responds with such delicate affection and careful appreciation? That I’m sure of.

When I can feel him moving under my hands--feel his body fall back onto the bed with a solid nudge, letting me throw myself onto his lap and stuff my hands under his shirt as he moans into my mouth, urging me onwards...

That’s what feels solid--tangible.

Actions are definite, while words can’t help but feel like tricks.

I’ve been told before that I was loved, and when I was ready for more, it hit us that we didn’t know what we were saying to one another.

That wasn’t love. It wasn’t even lust.

It wasn’t what I’ve got pressed to me now. It wasn’t a grown man being vulnerable. It wasn’t telling each other we’re scared or we’re not ready.

It wasn’t like how it is now; now it’s kissing him everywhere. Tugging at the smooth fabric of his shirt, telling him you want him, telling him you need him. Telling him he’s everything you’ve ever needed and more, because he’s what’s tangible here. He’s what I can feel, what I can hold.

He isn’t words, but actions.

He’s grabbing me, he’s tugging at my shirt, watching me hold myself above him as he works at my buttons and making my head spin out of control before I have to stop him, breath not coming out right anymore.

I feel his hand slide, cup my jaw as I gasp.

“What’s the matter?” he whispers, letting me relax. I can’t look at him straight on--everything’s spinning, especially his face. It looks concerned though. He feels concerned.

“It’s not--I’m--” my chest flutters, eyes falling back shut. “It’s so much. Everything.”

“We can stop,” he says quickly, but I shake my head, cutting him short.

I take a shaky inhale, then a shaky exhale. With another breath, he slowly moves to finish unbuttoning my shirt, pushing the sides open and letting me breathe properly for a minute.

It all settles back into place.

It all feels real, and then all at once, I’m in the moment.

Like the world was fizzling, then I was popped back into reality.

The room’s awfully light, and he’s got a terribly confused look on his face, but I just lean down and kiss him clear, letting him slide my sleeves off and toss the shirt aside. I go to finally take off his, but he stops me with a snug push of his face into the small crook of my neck. I exhale with him, sinking down against him and quickly checking my watch.

“It’s quarter after three,” I whisper, kissing his hair as his lips meet my neck and mouth starts to worry at some skin that he’s probably set on marking.

“Mhmm,” he hums, unaffected. I grin.

“What time was our dinner reservation?” I murmur, stroking his hair back. A few strands slip through my fingers while others fall away as his head tilts.

He pauses to think. “Six thirty, if I’m not mistaken.” He looks me up briefly. “Why? Got some better plans?”

I hum at his building smirk, swiping my thumb over the crease in his cheek. “Maybe. But I think we can be done and out by six, if we’re fast.”

He chuckles, head falling back into my neck. “What sort of plan do you have, then?”

My breath hitches, mind supplying one answer, and one answer only. “You,” I breathe out, tugging him closer.

He blinks, and I feel him go stiff. We shift a bit, settling onto the bed as he turns us over and holds himself on top of me. “What do you mean me?” he asks, and for once, it doesn’t feel like some teasing game. Like he’s actually asking me--like he doesn’t know.

Or maybe he does, and he’s just scared.

Because I’m sure as shit a bit scared to say it, too.

“I mean that I want you, Baz,” I whisper, smoothing a hand over his hair. There’s no real ceremonious way to say this without using a term that I think we’d both gag at (“Making love.” Sounds like something a gran might say). “I want you to, you know…”

His brows raise, lips starting a smile as his jaw hangs a bit open. “Are you… do you want to…”

I feel myself smile along, cheeks flushing as I groan. “Yes, Baz. That’s what I’m saying.”

“And you want me to…”

“What? Do you not like it that way?” Suddenly, it’s turned from cheeky to just embarrassing, and I want to hide away under all these pillows.

He’s quick to stop me, though, running a soothing hand over my side as I stare at him, watching him smile. “No--nono, don’t. I’m happy topping, if you want me to. I just… it’s a bit of a surprise, that’s all.”

“What? Why?”

He bites his lip, holding back what’s probably a laugh (at me, nonetheless). “Dunno. Thought me wearing florals was sort of a dead giveaway that I like it in the arse.”

Jesus, I must be beet red now. “I can top, if you want me to!” I blurt out, watching him break into a giggle. “I just--I thought--isn’t this part of the experience?”

He tries to calm himself, still holding up above me as I nervously watch him go off and giggle like a schoolboy.

“What?” I demand.

He shakes his head. “Do you think that you have to take up the rear to really be queer? Is that it?” he chuckles.

“I…” Not that it was particularly my first thought, but I’d figured this whole time that he’d want me to sort of prove it, somehow. He’d never say it, clearly, because he’s too proud to admit this short of shit, but I’d figured he’d be happier know that I’m really this much into him.

“Because you don’t,” he adds, settling down. “You don’t if you don’t want to, Simon.”

“But I do,” I say quickly, hooking around his belt loops for the added effect as I arch my hips. All in all, I do want it. I want him to hold me closer than he ever has before--I want him to make it clear that this is real. “I… I actually do, though. At least once.”

His brows raise, smirk falling back onto his face before he steals a quick, gentle kiss from my lips. “As long as it’s what you want, I’m happy with it,” he murmurs, pecking my cheek before starting to work back at my jaw, moving back down my neck and onto my clavicle.

I melt against him, fingers sliding back into his hair as my head rolls back. “I am,” I whisper, breathing out a short huff. “I’m ready--I want this.”

His lips spread into a smile onto my skin, making me shiver. “Tell me what you want.”

My hips shift and lift, letting his hands nimbly pull at my belt and trousers, managing to get them mostly off before I kick them away from my ankles. “I want you to take those magnificent fingers of yours,” I start, breath hitching mid sentence as his hand slips into my pants. “A-and--shit--I want them in me.”

He chuckles, and I feel something heavy curl in my stomach like a steel ball. Fucking hell. “Did your research?”

I blush, hard. “I… yeah. Yes. A quick google search… maybe a few videos…”

His head lifts, and he’s grinning like a loon. So much so that I give his hair a good tug and shove his face back into my gut.

“Fuck you,” I mumble, nose scrunching as I squeeze my eyes tight. “Wanted to get this right--wanted to get us right.”

“Well, did you research prepping, then?” he mumbles into my skin, and I figure I should loosen my grip on him.

His head stays, lips plastering open mouthed kisses onto the slight curve of side and the gentle slope of my stomach. It’s soft. Far softer than it was when I was fresh in uni. Far too soft for my liking, some days. Feels a bit like I’m slipping further and further from the person I was. Makes me feel foreign.

The way Baz kisses it, though, doesn’t make me feel detached at all. It makes me feel closer to my body than I ever was before.

My breath comes out in a slow, small groan, feeling his teeth skid around my waistband. “I-I did,” I manage.

He peers up. “Did you…?”

I nod. “Figured we might this weekend, so I’ve been watching what I eat and I… well… earlier today I... and…”

He grins even wider, watching me try helplessly ramble about my ways of making sure my arse is well prepped to handle some, ahem, handling. It feels all very mood-killing, rather than building friction, but he’s got that creeping smirk of his, so I know he’s at least enjoying it (to a certain extent).

“What?” I ask, pouting a bit. This is far too much of him teasing, and less of us actually shagging.

He shrugs, pursing his lips before patting my hip. “Flip over, love.”

I blink, then knit my brows together as I slowly turn, pulling off my pants in the process.

Granted, he knows far more about this than I do, so it would be best for me to trust him. Except, I’m not exactly sure where this is going.

I think I’m ready for anything, though. Emotionally, and physically.

Although, the “anything” crossing my mind at the moment wasn’t his tongue, licking a stripe down half my back.

I gasp, involuntarily going rigid as I take hold of the sheets and bury my face into the pillow in front of me. It’s some posh goosefeather one, with a decorative sleeve that’s probably hand stitched and shit, I’m probably going to wreck his family’s outrageously expensive bedding.

Which probably shouldn’t turn me on more, but it does.

It so fucking does.

Baz takes his time, nipping at my exposed bum as I shuffle, pushing a shoulder hard into the bed as the other arm reaches back and grips onto his hair. He hums, sending tingles down my spine as his hands take hold and spread me apart.

His tongue trails down, swiping delicately around the tight ring of muscles once, then twice, probing at me carefully before I feel the pressure of his tongue release. All I hear for a second is my muffled panting, then the tingling shock of his breath blowing against the newly wet and exposed spot makes me shutter and whine in a voice I’ve never heard myself use. “Oh!”

He dives back in nearly immediately, my hand clutching a good fistful of his hair as his tongue works careful circles. Slowly, his tongue presses into me.

I gasp, face sinking deeper into the pillows as my back arches, hips pressing back while he licks in with his tongue moving in lavishly slow cycles.

I huff, another involuntary whimper escaping my throat as I grind my hips back, nudging his head forward and feeling his hum run up through my spine. I shiver, then push, trying to ride the flickering of his tongue as I keen, huffing indignantly. “Fuck, Baz,” I grunt, “harder.”

He pulls off after a moment, sounding breathy as he nips at the sensitive spot near my side, leaving me to whine haplessly below him.

“What is it?” He murmurs, kissing up spots along my back. “Need something?”

I squeeze my eyes shut, balling my fists around the bed sheets as I unceremoniously wiggle my hips. I hear him chuckle at me, so I end him a quick glare. “Can you just get in me, already?” I snip.

He smirks a bit, and I can tell he just absolutely adores the power. Wanker.

I practically snarl, flipping over and pulling him down on top of me. He laughs, though, trying to push off.

“Hold on,” he chuckles, “give me a bloody minute. I--Simon--” he stops, moving to pry me off his neck as he continues to laugh. “I need to get us a condom. Hold on.”

I let him go, with a bit of protesting, and watch him sit up and walk over.

“Did you bring condoms?” I breathe, forgoing any of the awkward bubbling from earlier. It’s a bit hot now, thinking he was ready for this, too.

He pauses, then nods, cracking open the box he’s got and ripping one of a strip before grabbing the tube of lube from his bag. “I like to come prepared regardless,” he says, pushing the flap back over it (as if someone will see).

I raise my brows, and hoping I come off as more smug and cocky than needy. “Or hoping that you’d get lucky?”

He raises a brow, smiling a bit before leaning down and catching my mouth with his. I push myself up, steadying on my elbows as we snog for a good minute.

Eventually, he peels away, sitting aside and moving to undress.

I pull myself up fully, leaning back against the headboard and watching him strip. “How should we do this?”

He throws me a glance over his shoulder. “How do you want to?” he asks, wiggling off his trousers and pants before folding them and setting them aside (he’s fucking ridiculous).

I shrug, watching over his back. “What would be easiest?”

He turns around, sitting with our knees knocking as he thinks. “You want to ride me and see where that takes us?”

I shrug again, then nod, pushing away the hair plastered to my forehead. “Sounds good,” I breathe, exhaling slowly, then smiling. “Fuck.”

He quirks his brow, and I reach out, smoothing a thumb over his cheek.

“No, it’s just… it’s new. It’s good, but new.”

He relaxes, eyes closing. “Good.”

I chuckle and push myself across our laps, planting my lips onto his as pulling him close.

His chest knocks into mine, our legs slotting up awkwardly as we shift, my thigh rubbing up his cock as he lets out a low, rumbling groan. I rub it again, feeling him rock a bit into it before nudging me back and laying me flat as he pulls off, fumbling with the lube.

I shift, hips lifting as my legs spread and heart races at the sight of his lubed fingers. Fuck.

“Are you ready for me too…?”

I nod, shifting myself again before surging up and pulling him down against me. He nearly knocks over, steading himself while I clumsily pull him in and properly snog him. It’s not the most romantic, but it sure feels right. Awfully right. Undeniably, absolutely right.

Nothing feels more right than to have him kiss me, especially as his fingertips press around, middle finger slipping into me with ease. I groan, tugging him in closer.

I let his tongue poke and prod into my mouth, eliciting helpless groans as my face goes beet red. One hand slips back into his hair while the other snakes down his chest, taking a moment to stroke down his cock and feel him whine into me with each coaxing move.

He works his way through three fingers before pulling them out one by one, my hips rolling with each movement.

I groan, panting as he pulls away and lets us roll and reposition. It feels a bit odd, at first, as I hover above on all fours and watch him roll on the condom and pile on plenty of lube, but then we settle with my hips above his, arse grinding against his cock, and it all falls back into place. His hands travel then sit on my sides, thumbs stroking circles onto my skin as I suck in a breath, raising my brows at him. “It doesn’t really hurt, right?”

He breathes out a laugh, head falling back. “Are you really asking this now?” he manages.

I nod, blushing as I move to tease on top of him, guiding the head of his cock around the crown of my arse. “Maybe.”

I watch his eyes fall shut, hands tightening around my sides as I suck in a breath.

“Not terribly so, no. You’ll be sore after.”

I nod, chewing on my bottom lip. Right. Not a terrible cost for the action, I suppose. “Alright,” I mutter, settling my free hand onto his. I feel it slide, then link our fingers together. “Are you ready?”

He nods back as my eyes fixate on his chest, watching it move up and down before I slowly start sinking down, shutting my eyes along with it.

“Fuck,” I hiss, low and deep, as I sink deeper onto him. My knees wobble a bit, and all that’s running through my head is that he’s right--it doesn’t hurt that much.

Instead, it just feels like pressure, at first. A new tightness. A heat in my core as I settle my palms onto his chest and sink myself deeper onto his cock, carefully start to rocking myself up. I feel myself involuntarily gasping out into the air, searching to find his hands.

He rubs up my side, then down, grasping my hip as our fingers squeeze together.

I shift, starting to rock myself up and down.

“D-do you want me to--” I cut him off, nodding immediately and feeling his hips start to grind upwards, making me gasp and whine in a shaky, slow grumble.

I groan, lifting our hands off my skin and holding them both tightly while experimentally pushing harder, feeling my head spin and vision fizzle with it. “Fuck--fuck!”

His hips shift, then thrust up, sending me spiraling as I rock down to meet them.

I give him a few bounces, then grind back down, feeling his fingers squeeze mine tighter before one lets go, moving to my cock and closing around it. He gives me a quick questionable eyebrow raise, and I just nod, huffing out a vague “Please” before he starts stroking.

At first, I think I can take the stimulation, but the sight of him watching me sends me spiraling faster than I thought possible. And it’s all too much--too overwhelmingly there, pushing me off the deep end in seconds before I even know what to do besides ride it out, whimpering helplessly while spilling onto his chest.

He pulls me off, letting me sit against his hips as it comes back down.

Only issue left is his cock, flushed hard and throbbing against me.

I don’t even let him try to tell me not to, reaching back and stroking him carefully as I lean down and kiss everywhere--kiss his neck, his cheeks, his lips, his forehead, his eyelids. Kiss the slope of his jaw, the dip of his cheeks. Kiss the notch of his adam’s apple, and the turn of his clavicle.

I shower him in kisses, stroking him fast and hard until I feel him come, spilling out onto my hand and back (and probably onto these overly expensive sheets) as I grin, panting along with him and only having two words left for the both of us.

“Holy shit.”

He tips his head up to me, a broad smile spread across his face as he relaxes, rubbing my back. I sink into the touch, face pressing into his neck as I exhale. Shit. Shit. I need a shower. I need a nap. I need a round two--a lifetime of round twos.

I want to do that to him.

We relax, my nose pressing up against his jaw as his hands trace up and down my back. It’s serene, if only for a second, to hold him close to me. To feel his heartbeat against my nose, pulsing sweetly onto my skin as I breathe in, cheeks aching from smiling too much.

“Alright,” start, forcing myself up. He stares at me, raising a brow as I stretch. “Fuck. Shit. Alright. Got to shower.”

He pats around for his mobile, checking the time, then nodding. “Care if I join?”

I smirk, pushing myself off him and getting up. “Never thought you’d ask,” I tease, starting to head off into the bathroom.

There’s already soaps in there--posh ones. Some used, like the wash and shampoo, but the bar next to the sink seems pretty newly unwrapped.

Definitely was some maid that went through, then.

Which, of course, feels a bit odd.

Not too odd, since the Wellbeloves had one, but even the Wellbeloves weren’t this wealthy. This feels more “We’ve owned the country club before your bloodline existed”, rather than “I’ll give you 100p if you eat that weird looking grape” sort of rich.

Wonder what Baz sees in me, then. After all, I don’t have shit to my name (which is why I’m at Watford, really). That’s why I’m here.

I’m here because I didn’t have any of this.

I don’t know why he’s there with me, if he has so much money.

I sigh and pull at the faucets, letting them run until the shower stream’s steaming hot. Standing outside the shower’s door, I looking in through the glass and completely space out while focusing on this.

All I can think of is this.

How much better Baz could do--how much of a better life he could live, if he wanted. Of how he doesn’t need me (not that I ever thought he did), and if he didn’t want me, I could be a ragdoll tossed aside.

I close my eyes, head settling against the glass.

A hand closes around my hip, startling me back as he lets go. “You alright?”

“Hm?” I shake my head, rubbing my eyes as I sink back. “Yeah. I am.”

“You’re still thinking.”

I take a glance at him, doing a once over, before stepping into the shower.

He follows, pulling the door shut behind him.

“It’s the same thing,” I mumble, back to him as the stream flows over me. “It’s nothing too important.”

“It is if its wrecking your holiday,” he says pointedly, stepping beside me and nudging me a bit for the water. I let him, leaning against the tiles as he scrubs his hands over his face.

I swallow, studying the details of his arms, his hands, his face, his movements. Some being subtle rubs of his fingertips, others being the harsh pushing of his head. All making me feel dizzy. “I just don’t get it. If your family’s so rich, then why are you teaching? Why do you live on campus? Why don’t you just live as some playboy in London?”

He peers over at me, giving me a bored look. “You know why,” he says, and for some reason, it hurts. “I thought you knew me better than that.”

I stop, breath sucking in. “I…” He’s right. “I just…”

He stares over, lips twitching before he turns to grab soap. “I don’t want their money, or their lives. I want my own. I just reap the benefits of my upbringing, on occasion.”

I reach for him, hand brushing his waist. He lets me, but doesn’t move to reciprocate. “It feels like a waste.”

He snorts. “Then you don’t know my family’s relationship with money.”

“You’re right,” I say softly. “I don’t.”

He turns to me.

“I don’t know your family.”

His lips purse, then he exhales, offering a hand over to me. I take it, letting him pull me in as he starts to scrub soap over my arms.

“And I intend on keeping it that way.”

“What? Don’t want to be seen with a poor boy?”

He snorts. “Don’t want you to suffer the travesty that is my family for an extended period.” He kisses my forehead. “If you want to meet them, though, I’d be glad to set it up. It’s just beyond dinners that get excruciatingly lonely.”

I watch him through my eyelashes, chewing on my lip. “How so?” I whisper. I know what it’s like, childhood loneliness, but through a much different lens.

Alone with your thoughts, no books to write in, no real friends to chat with. Isolated socialization, barely learning to choke out words until you’re forced into school and not allowed to be silent.

“Long corridors,” he says quietly, hand trailing down my back. “Dark rooms, wall sconces. Suits at dinner. Being miles from anybody relatively friendly to play with, and when your cousins come to play, your father always talks business with their parents in the other room. Your father is always there. Your father likes when you’re cold and distant, because that’s what men in the family do. It’s right--it’s proper.”

I look up, and his face is borderline twisted, stuck in a snarl. I try to reach up, and he shakes his head.

“It’s lonely, Simon,” he whispers. “Feels like being suffocated slowly. Choking on your own spit.”

Choking. Drowning.

The death of childhoods and wanting something new--something fresh. Something unrecognizable.

“I know,” I mumble. “I don’t know in the same way, but I know.” I exhale, reaching for his face. He lets me, this time. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” His eyes fall shut.

We’re still for a moment, watching one another under the beating of the showerhead before I muster it up. I push it out, swallowing back any apprehension from before.

“Baz?”

“Yes?”

“I want to be out this week.”

He goes silent, studying me carefully as I exhale and lean my back fully against the tile. It’s still cold, as compared to the heat of the water. It’s nice against my skin.

“I mean,” I start, watching his eyes travel. In a moment’s hesitation, I reach for his hand and squeeze it. “I want to kiss you in public, and hold your hand. I want to call you my boyfriend. I want everything that comes with being out while we’re here. Nobody knows us here, so what’s the harm in trying?”

He exhales quietly, raising a brow at me. “You’re really sure about that?” He’s quieter than usual, jarring me enough to be taken aback.

Still, I nod. “Call it a test run,” I whisper, bringing his knuckles to my mouth and kissing them sweetly. “A preparation for the real thing.”

[fourmisfitz]

20 with roger?

“You couldn’t go three days without me”

“Just take me with you, Rog.” You hoisted up onto the suitcase laying closed on the bed.

“Love, it’s 6 months, not forever.”

“Feels like forever.” You mumbled with pouted lips, crossing your arms as you slumped deeper into the denting case.

“What- d’you want me to just pack you in there, as well?”

You slowly peered down at it under your lap, raising your eyebrows and tilting your head in consideration.

“NnnnO.” Roger pointed a finger at you, dragging on the syllable to scold you like a little puppy.

Roger bent down to maneuver the zipper, lifting your limp dangling legs to get around them. You were being as stubborn as possible to stall his departure. You had just gotten him back a month ago from recording a new album far off with the boys, now he was leaving again. You know he would choose you if you truly asked, but it’s his dream and you were just going to miss him.

“You will survive. You have before.” His light, raspy voice disappeared into the bathroom and you huffed.

“Yeah but, those times weren’t as long. Remember when I had a business trip to Belgium last year for that conference? You were in Arras, France and I was only going to be gone for a little while. God- you begged me at my feet not to leave, Rog. You couldn’t go three days without me.” You smiled, thinking back to that little submissive antic of his.

“Remember my hairbrush?” He peaked his quizzical face out from the bathroom, snapping you out of dreamland. “Any idea where that might be?” Tilting his head at you.

You pursed your lips, looking down at your fidgeting fingers in your lap.

“You don’t use it, anyway.” Your voice getting quieter.

“And that was a year ago, love. I had hardly even heard of a tour back then.” He came to stand in front of your slumped figure, taking your hands in his.

“You know if I could bring you I would, but you just got promoted - I’m proud,” he raised his hands to rub your upper arms. “But you need to be there to keep that, right?”

“I wouldn’t mind Brenda criticizing my work over text.” You murmured, toying with the buttons on his shirt.

He laughed and bit his lip. “Love, look at me.” He lifted his hands to cup your jaw. Your eyes met his and you huffed a soft breath of air again.

“I want you there, but the days will pass and I can call you nearly every one of ‘em. I promise.”

You smiled as his blue eyes glistened, the two of you pausing in the moment of admiration for a bit.

“Now, off it- you’ve probably snapped my toothbrush by now.”

You looked back down at the case beneath you, a little gasp escaping. “You think so?” You asked, hopefully.

Roger rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, lightly slapped your bum as you hopped off, sighing.

You walked over to the closet and slid his favourite fur coat off a hanger. He always wore it on plane and bus rides, being the comfiest one to sleep in. You sniffed it, breathing in his musky spicy scent and turned to face him.

Extending an arm to hand it to him as you bit the inside of your lip, he stood there, eventually forming a lopsided grin as hints of tears pricked your eyes.

He took the coat from you, “You,” he wrapped it around your shoulders, “Are going to be just fine.”and pulled you into a warm embrace. “You fit right here.” He pulled away gently to cup your jaw with one hand. “Hopefully that’ll help with the restless nights, hm?”

You nodded, letting out a small, breathy laugh.

“Now, where are my trousers.”

You looked down at his bare legs and stifled a giggle. You sighed, then nodded at the chair in the corner of the room.

He furrowed his eyebrows, walking over to the chaise lounge. He lifted a pair of pants from behind it that had been tucked in the corner on the floor, holding them up in your view.

“I ironed these.” He scolded.

“That’s weird.” You teased.

He tried to remain serious but your guilty laugh was contagious. Roger tossed them to the side and scooped you up, carrying you over to the bed and laying the both of you down, hovering over you.

He kissed your lips, smushing your head a bit deeper into the mattress, a snap and crunch sounding from underneath you.

You reached under the blanket and pulled out a mangled accessory.

“Found your sunglasses.” You sheepishly confessed.

He winced, dropping his head, hanging it low.

“Those were Raybans.” He muffled into your neck.

Vibrations of your laugh reverberating off your chest as he shook his head, pursed his lips and silenced you with a punishing, passionate kiss.

__

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[rockstar-tay]

https://music.apple.com/us/album/calm/1497416763

https://open.spotify.com/album/0vX2Jo5xhltAA7kVdW2hwO?si=q26GTqdWRxOOLZPBOSvUOQ

It’s been three whole days since 5SOS released their fourth album CALM. I mean technically I guess like four since the band hosted a live listening party via insta.

Can we talk about that for a minute because it was ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKIN COOL! I tuned in like right at 9 PST, and Ash was already on there. He said some stuff, and then he played the first side of the vinyl. He actually like walked away from the camera which I thought was kinda weird at first, but then I definitely think it was to help take away any distractions from people just focusing on watching him or something. Personally I was listening with my eyes closed, and headphones in and I swear it sounded like he has subs because the bass was HITTIN. Anyways then later Calum took over (with lag of course), and invited Michael and then Luke. Watchin them react to the songs just made it feel so personal. Ugh. I hope they and other artists do it in the future.

K so before listenin to this album I was definitely a fan of the guys. I got a tattoo a couple of months ago and one of their songs came up on the artist’s Spotify so I started talking to her about them. She called them “my boys” when another song came up like an hour later (and I died inside). But yeah. I’ve liked them since... holy fuck 2014!? How has it been 6 years already!?!!?

CALM just feels so different from anything they’ve done before, and every fan is HERE FOR IT! Honestly I kinda feel like I’m gonna talk about every track because YO this album has crazy diversity when it comes to sound. Lyrically too like you can tell their perspective of life and of situations that happen has changed from how they would’ve done it earlier in their career.

🌟 Red Desert - With how they’ve layered the vocals of the opening chorus I immediately think “Beatles vibes” but then the beat comes in, and I’m like. Hm okay.. how did they get that transition to work?? Then towards the end of the song before the final chorus plays there’s a bridge with like a techno/edm kinda beat behind everything else. Like I don’t understand how they got all of that flow in one song but they fuckin did it. I actually find myself humming this one the most throughout the day compared to any other song.

🌟 No Shame - This one has been out as a single for a minute. Think I’ve posted about a fan theory of the meaning so I won’t go into it again. But in short if you didn’t see that post: it’s a bop.

🌟 Old Me - UGGGGHHHH THE GROOVE DURING THE VERSES MAKES ME WANNA BOUNCE AND SING ALONG! Every. Damn. Time. And this chorus like how can that not tug at your heart strings.

🌟 Easier - This ones another single that was out before the record dropped. Honestly it confused tf outta me when I first heard it. It sounded so.. synthy (p sure that’s not a word) to me, and just so different from what I thought they could sound like. There’s absolutely no denying how catchy it is tho and how can you not hum that melody?

🌟 Teeth - I DEFINITELY feel like this should’ve been on the stranger things soundtrack but I GUESS 13 Reasons is fine. goddamn Luke’s vocals... I could rant about that for a while. Anyway it’s totally a song that would get a crowd movin, and I can’t wait to see videos of when they play it live (if that even happens now #thanksrona #stayhomestayhealthy)

🌟 Wildflower - I typically do not notice lyrical content when I first listen to a song. Idk what it was about this one but I noticed two things immediately. One - Cal is takin lead vocals in this one. Two - that this songs about having a bomb-ass physical relationship with someone.

🌟 🌟Best Years - i mean Luke posted him singing it on IGTV already so luckily I didn’t cry as much when I heard it for the second time ever during the listening party. This literally is designed to be a wedding song. Michael and Crystal absolutely need to play it at theirs. You know what? Luke and Sierra too. (Lord I really don’t wanna add pressure to them but WE ALL SEE YOURE IN LOVE AND PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER SO PUT A RING ON IT ALREADY)

🌟 🌟Not In The Same Way - The fuckin hip hop-ish beat that’s goin on during the verses is the number one thing that got this one in my top 5 of the album. Plus dear lord if this doesn’t describe my love life idk what does.

🌟🌟 Lover of Mine - So with this one the first time around I just focused on how the overall like tone of the song seems to be soothing but sad all at once. Then the next time I listened to the words closely and jeeeeeesus. Right in the heart.

🌟 Thin White Lies - I really keep trynna call this one Thin White Lines. Anyways.. I hate how many songs they have a sick beat to on this album. It makes it LITERALLY impossible to not nod your head with it.

🌟 Lonely Heart - I really can see them playin this live, and havin a crowd of you know at least 8,000 singing back “Lonely it ain’t nothin new, nothin new to me, nothin new to you.” And it gives me chills.

🌟🌟High - Okay first of all shoutout to all the stoners out there. 🤘🏼🖤 But for fuckin real we all have one to five people we always think about when we get fucked up, or are just in our feelins for a minute. “I hope you think of me high. I hope you think of me highly. When you're with someone else.”

It’s weird that I feel so happy for them, and proud of them at the same time? I don’t even know the dudes but their lyrics are so fuckin mature and well thought out. From how they’re articulatin everything I’d swear they’re older than me, but I’ve got a couple years on ‘em. Just honestly they did a great job with this album and I can’t wait to hear more interviews of them talkin about it.

[dr-m-r-ma]

The Design in Her Mind

Part 10/?

Genre: drama, romance Rating: PG-13 Group: Monsta X

Summary & Disclaimer here  

May 11 So I’ve begun again. But this time, I seem to be surrounded by supportive people.

It had been a month since the night Sooyeon turned in her resignation letter and quit her job at Starship. She often met Shownu on the days he had off and on other days, she met Joonha and Jeanie if she wasn’t interviewing for new jobs. At times, she’d trail Jeanie on her stylist jobs, which led her to meet the Monsta X members more often, as well as BTOB when their promotion period overlapped.

After a few times, Hyunsik had asked, “이렇게 자주 올거면 그냥 또 하면 안돼?” (Translation: “If you’re going to come this often, why don’t you just try again?”)

Raising an eyebrow, Sooyeon looked at him with confusion. On the other hand, Joonha and Jeanie shared a wide smile. Joonha drew out an obviously fake sigh while Jeanie replied, “그게요… 언니가 계속 거절해요 ㅠㅠ” (Translation: “Well… she keeps rejecting us!”)

“아니! 생각해봐, 내가 왜 나를 자르려고 한 회사에 다시 들어가야 돼?” (Translation: “I mean! Think about it, why should I go back to a company that tried to fire me?”) Sooyeon threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. She looked at Hyunsik hoping to see understandment, but frowned when she saw a hint of laughter.

Joonha sighed for real this time, and shook his head. “우리말을 계속 못 들은거니 아니면 까먹은거니? 몇번을 얘기하게 만드는거야… 우린. 프리랜서 라고. 회사랑 계약해서 몬스타엑스분들이랑 소유님이랑 같이 일 하는데, 우리는 스타쉽사람들이 아니야!!” (Translation: “Did you just never listen to us or did you forget? How many times will you make me say this… We. Are freelancers. We work with Monsta X and Soyou through a contract with the company, but we’re not Starship employees!!”)

Sooyeon simply pouted with a small frown, because she wasn’t taking that BS again. She had  only seen them working on Monsta X and never other artists outside of Starship. Could a contract be so binding that they could only work on Starship artists?

“아, 형, 한 2년전에 우리 한번 해줬지?” (Translation: “Ah, Joonha[-hyung], you worked for us a couple of years ago, right?”) Hyunsik asked.

Glancing back at Hyunsik, Sooyeon started to say, “오빠… 뻥은--” (Translation: “Hyunsik[-oppa]... your jokes--”)

“옛다!” (Translation: “Here!”)

A phone was shoved into her face, and there she saw a group photo with Joonha’s stylist team and BTOB. And in the corner, she saw her own figure in the photo, laughing at the group.

“뭐야… 이게?” (Translation: “What… is this?”) Sooyeon grabbed the phone and zoomed in.

Jeanie pouted, “그땐 나 없었는데…” (Translation: “I wasn’t there back then…”) But she immediately brightened up and turned to Sooyeon. “그러니까, 언니, 알겠죠? 저희랑 같이 일 하기 싫어요? 그동안 같이 다녔는데 재미없었어요?” (Translation: “So, Sooyeon[-unnie], you get it, right? Do you hate the idea of working together with us? Did you not have fun when we worked together?”)

She wore a cheeky smile and her eyes twinkled, putting pressure on Sooyeon. Hyunsik and Joonha laughed, and Hyunsik tapped Sooyeon’s shoulder.

“전에… 힘들었던거 알아. 근데 그땐 친한사람도 없었고 도와줄사람도 없었잖아. 지금은 다르지 않아?” (Translation: “I know… it was hard on you before. But at that time, you weren’t close with anyone and you didn’t have anyone to help you. Isn’t it different now?”)

Sooyeon shot a look at Joonha and Jeanie, then stared at Hyunsik. As much as she wanted to deny it, it was true. She had naturally gotten close with Joonha and Jeanie, even though she tried to build a wall, and in the last month, they looked after her like she was already part of their team. Not to mention, they weren’t the only ones who were asking her to restart her stylist career again. Shownu had asked a couple of times after that night at the restaurant, but when she avoided answering him, he dropped the subject.

Hyunsik continued, “지금은 나도 있고, 희연이도 있고, 현우, 준하형, 지니까지 있잖아.” (Translation: “Now you have me, Heeyeon, and even Hyunwoo, Joonha[-hyung], and Jeanie.”) She flinched slightly, hearing Shownu’s name, but stayed quiet. “그냥 처음엔 가끔씩만 일 하고, 괜찮을것 같으면 더 해. 괜찮지, 형?” (Translation: “Just work sometimes in the beginning, and when you feel okay, you can work more. Is that okay, Joonha[-hyung]?”)

Joonha nodded and smiled brightly at Sooyeon. Joonha and Jeanie looked at Sooyeon with hopeful eyes, and with Hyunsik backing them up like that, she couldn’t really say no.

She ended up agreeing to join Joonha’s stylist team, but just part time. He told her she could try things out, and if she really wasn’t comfortable or enjoying the job, she could quit at any time except during a job.

It had been a week since she started working with Joonha’s team, but within three days, they asked her to increase her hours. But with no strings attached, she didn’t really mind. After all…

“어? 오늘 오는 날이었어요?” (Translation: “Huh? Were you coming in today?”)

Sooyeon’s eyelids fluttered open, as the gentle voice woke her up from her short nap. Her eyes focused on Shownu’s soft face peering down at her.

Her lips automatically curled up into a small smile, and she replied, “그렇게 됐어요… 싫은건 아니죠?? ㅋㅋ” (Translation: “It just happened like that… you don’t hate it, right?? keke”)

Her playful question brought out a chuckle from Shownu, and she noticed the other members looking at her curiously. Again. It wasn’t the first time the other members stood at the door frame or in the back staring at Shownu and Sooyeon casually talking. She knew while Shownu and she agreed to become friends, they still talked politely to each other so as to not bring misunderstanding. She also realized he started the conversation more, possibly to show the other members that she wasn’t going to bite or be cold anymore.

But it seemed like it was still too early for the others, since they all scattered to their normal positions without approaching her once again. Shownu glanced at her apologetically, while Sooyeon whispered, “괜찮아요. 지금은 이게 더 편해요.” (Translation: “It’s okay. For now, this is better.”) At least she had six less people to worry about.

As she began his routine, she noticed the dark circles hanging below his eyes. With her fingers feathering over his rough skin, she quietly asked, “요즘에 많이 피곤해요? 안색이 또 안 좋네요...” (Translation: “Are you really tired these days? Your complexion isn’t too good again…”)

The last time she noticed a change in his complexion, she found out he was stressed about being a strong and fair leader -- that he was trying to hold down the fort and listen to everyone’s opinions about their new album. He was surprised that she could tell, since his members didn’t realize and they spend most of their time together.

Shownu peeked through one eye as she patted a light layer of moisturizer before asking, “어떻게 매번…? 요즘에 스케줄이 많아져서 좀 피곤해요.” (Translation: “How do you know every time…? I’m a bit tired because our schedule is packed these days.”)

“흠… 눈치보는게 익숙해서 그렇죠…” (Translation: “Hm… I’m used to being wary of people’s moods and reading atmospheres, I guess…”) Sooyeon mumbled.

His eyes jolted open and he stared at her worriedly. She stared back confused for a few seconds before realizing the words she spoke without thinking affected him. Waving her hands in front of him, she laughed, “아 -- 농담이에요. 지금은 안 그래요! 진짜… 아무튼 피곤하면 이거 드실래요?” (Translation: “Ah -- it was a joke. I don’t do that anymore! Really… anyway, if you’re tired, would you like to eat this?”)

She handed him a small piece of candy. Shownu smiled at the wrapper, showing chamomile flowers and honey. It became a habit of hers to give him this candy ever since he said it calmed him down the first time. He wasn’t particularly fond of hard candy, but since it effectively relaxed him, he always seemed to look forward to receiving it.

“저번에 얘기했던 친구는 어떻게 됐어요?” (Translation: “What happened to that friend that you talked about last time?”) he murmured.

Startled by the sudden question, Sooyeon paused with her brush hanging mid-air. It took her a few moments, but she finally realized he was asking if there was a continuation to her rant from a couple of days ago.

While Joonha and Jeanie were busy trying to convince Sooyeon to join their makeup and stylist team, Shownu and Sooyeon inched closer and closer through late night phone calls and getting drinks at the same restaurant from before. In the beginning, it was just talking about surface things like ranting about how difficult it was to find a job or excitedly talking about new projects. From then on, conversations flowed naturally to share bits and pieces of personal things, such as their likes and dislikes, or stories of their family and friends.

“에휴… 아직도 말이 안 통해요. 맨날 늦는데… 어떻게 할 수가 없어요.” (Translation: “Ugh… it’s still impossible to get through her. She’s always late… but there’s nothing I can do.”) Sooyeon sighed, as she brushed on a deep shade of caramel on his eyelids. She noticed his lips twitch before he let out a small chuckle, and she continued to talk about her friend to him.

And that’s how work had been for her.

It wasn’t all bad, with people like Joonha and Jeanie on the same team. Mainly working on Shownu, she could easily talk about her problems, whether they were small or large. It was good that they became close within a month, but Sooyeon always got caught by her own fence. She enjoyed the new company. It felt fresh to get to know him, but she wasn’t familiar with how fast she was getting close with Shownu.

It wasn’t like she felt apprehensive when he approached her, but she was worried. It’s not like anything is wrong if they were just chatting away and talking about their struggles… but when she started to comfort him during the times he felt anxious or tired, or when he listened to her, Shownu started to pull her close. The first time it happened, she couldn’t say or do anything, since he seemed lost and desperate. The second time it happened, she still couldn’t say anything. At the time, she just felt so safe in his arms.

Before then, it used to be just sitting closely and arms may be touching, but something as intimate as a warm hug threw Sooyeon off.

Despite worries she might have of him being an unattainable celebrity or being wary of the agency in general, she continued to let him hold her closely.  Sometimes he would lean his head against her shoulder or he would stroke her hair softly. Before she knew it, they had become each other’s shelters.

May 14 Well… I might have fucked up.

*Silence*

That’s all that filled the space between them.

Sooyeon blurted it out before she could really think about the consequences, and Shownu seemed shocked by her response.

It was just a few minutes ago, when she chuckled at his lame joke while snapping his earrings in place. She noticed very quickly that his eyes followed her differently, like he had been staring at her very often recently. She wanted to squirm out of sight, hoping to avoid misunderstandings and assumptions, but she could only smile awkwardly at his star-struck gaze.

He wore a goofy smile on his face, like a little boy staring at a train ride in an amusement park, and he didn’t seem to know what his expression looked like.

“저기… 그렇게 쳐다보지마세요.” (Translation: “Hey… don’t look at me like that.”) Sooyeon blurted out, only managing to cough out the words.

As her eyes met his, she could tell he had no idea what she was talking about. He blinked a couple of times. Then he asked, “제가 어떻게 보고있는데요…?” (Translation: “How am I looking at you…?”)

“좋아하는 것… 처럼… 이요.” (Translation: “Like… you like me…”)

“...”

Instantly, Sooyeon could tell she screwed up. His face clearly wore the deer-in-the-headlights expression, and his body was rigid -- he completely froze at her blunt response. She wanted to punch herself for even assuming that would be funny as a joke.

Despite having said it so openly and somewhat confidently, she nervously waited for Shownu’s response. It would have been fine if he brushed it off and joked about it. Actually it would have made her relieved that he didn’t take her seriously. And yet… his frozen figure worried her. Damn… did I just break the bro code or what.

“10분 남았어, 빨리 끝내!” (Translation: “There’s 10 minutes left, finish up quickly!”)

His shoulder jerked at the sound of Joonha’s voice, which caused Sooyeon to flinch as well. When she looked down at Shownu, his face showed no emotion -- as if he was that classic robot everyone used to call him by. He almost looked like a peaceful statue, if it weren’t for his red ears and the color lightly feathering across naturally over his cheeks. Although his face seemed to show some kind of reaction, he didn’t use his words to affirm or reject her words.

As she scanned his face briefly to check for any need for touch ups, she could feel the air becoming more and more prickly. It was an awkward situation and she also wanted to flee the scene.

Patting his shoulder lightly, she mumbled, “어, 다 끝났어요.” (Translation: “Yep, you’re all done.”)

Quickly scurrying away, it was easy to escape with the other stylists wrapping up. She left him standing stiffly and staring at her figure disappearing into the mass of people.

It must be so fuckin hilarious that I asked that after I told him I don’t like attention…. While she didn’t think about it at the time, she later realized a part of her felt disappointed Shownu didn’t respond right away. Whether it was a blatant rejection or a joking manner, she couldn’t help but feel the awkwardness crept up too close to feeling bothered.

.

.

*** TBC ***

A/N: ooof sorry this is so late (lol)  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #199

“mama, just killed a man; put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.”

Who is the nicest person you’ve ever met? I dunno, I've truly met so many. How about the meanest? Literally my former best friend, all things considered. I too often ignored her overwhelming ratio of bad versus positive traits. She was an absolute witch when entirely unnecessary to most she met, and even to those she did like, she could be extremely rude and just. Yeah, mean. Do you prefer sugar cookies or peanut butter cookies? Hmmm, probably sugar. Chocolate chip cookies or Oreos? Chocolate chip. What is on your mouse pad? I don't have one. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. Why did they yell at you? I don't recall, I just know it was her. What was the last thing you spoke to your mom about? I can't remember. It was as she was leaving for work and nothing major. Where was the last place you took a train to? Never been on a train. What is your favorite sleeping position? What about sitting? Sitting, idk. But I sleep like, kinda on my stomach but twist to my side with my arms positioned up like a fetus' or something. My legs are just kinda just splayed out or bent a bit beside each other. When is the last time you felt appreciated for something you did? Had to be something with Sara when she needed some comfort. Do you ever call friends just to have a casual conversation with them? I don't willingly call anyone. I've texted/messaged friends at random though. Are you the type of person who gets straight to the point? Not really. Do you enjoy playing board games? No. Are there any movies you are wanting to see? The new How To Train Your Dragon, ahhhh! Probably gonna see it with Sara when she comes. Who was the last contact you stored into your cell phone, if you have one? Probably VR. What was the last song you sang along to? Uhhh something by Powerwolf in the shower. Are you a fan of the band Taking Back Sunday? Never heard 'em. Nachos or tacos? I hate tacos, but nachos are literally the best. Do you think Kurt Cobain was assassinated? This is a conspiracy I'm not really educated on. *shrugs* I barely ever rule shit out now after going down the conspiracy theories rabbit hole. Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you? Not at all. Does it annoy you when people wish away their lives? I'm guessing you mean just wish for things instead of taking action towards achieving them? Yes, it does. Wishing isn't gonna do a damn thing for you. Have you ever lived with somebody with truly repulsive habits? No. Do you tend to say things because they’re appropriate not because you mean them? No. I've probably done it, but not enough to recall an occasion. What was the last thing to perplex you? Some conspiracy theory in Shane Dawson's new series I thought was pretty far-fetched. I've already forgotten it. What was the last thing to fascinate you? Another theory in the same series mentioned above lol. It was about the fires in California. Do you ever have really good dreams, and then the whole next day, you’re in a really good mood because of that really good dream? No. What’s the last thing you bought at the mall? A book. What are you listening to? "Fire & Forgive" by Powerwolf. Have you ever wanted to go to the moon? Not really. Is your favorite author the author of your favorite book? No. What are you looking forward to the most? Settling down comfortably with Sara with nice jobs, pets we love, a house we feel is perfect for us, and just. Yeah, all of that. ;v; What’s the last CD you bought? I haven't bought one since Hollywood Undead's "Swan Songs." Is that your favorite cd by that artist? I'm not too familiar with their albums, but I think? What food do you eat the most of? Idk, really. Meats? Some form of bread? What food do you not eat enough of? Vegetables. If you HAD to look like someone else, but could choose who, who would you choose? Probably Suzy Hanson. I'm gay as all fuck hell for that sweetheart. What’s something you’re proud of yourself for? DEDICATING TO THE PROCESS OF RECOVERY. Think of your favorite band… if you got to talk to ONE person from that band, who would it be, and why them? Ozzy because he is my granddad, savior, and most importantly, spirit animal. Have you ever seen someone get a tattoo done? If so, what was it? Did they cry or were they in a lot of pain? Yeah; it was a watercolor feather with "ohana" written on it. She didn't cry, nor was it excruciating. What do you like on hot dogs? Ketchup and mustard. Favorite sport team? I'm biased towards the Carolina Hurricanes because of Dad. Do you live somewhere where it’s completely safe to walk alone at night? No. Have you ever lived with someone who was a total slob? Yup. Have you ever interviewed a job applicant at your workplace? N/A Have you ever gone over 3 months without shaving/waxing your legs? Yeah, or close to it. Would you ever consider being a foster parent? No. What’s your opinion on lottery tickets? Waste of money, or no? A waste and a risk for addiction. What are some things that make others cry, that don’t make you cry at all? Well, this is hard. I cry at pretty much anything moving. Have you ever swam in a saltwater pool? No. Can you run in heels? I highly doubt that. My balance is bad as it is. Do you think anyone has given up on you? I'm sure Colleen has. When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation? Today, but literally most days on FB anyway with my stepmother and abortion. Do you pay your own cellphone bill, or do your parents pay it for you? Dad pays it. Have you seen every Harry Potter movie in theaters? No. Have you ever been pregnant? No. Would you ever drive a hearse for your car? Fuck yeah I would if I could decorate it some. What snacks do you usually take to the beach with you? I haven't gone to the beach consistently enough to known. Do you like to eat tomato soup along with your grilled cheese? No. Have you ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer? No. Do you have thick or thin hair? Thick as all fuck. If you have thick hair, do you get it thinned when you get it cut? I get it like, tapered so the ends aren't so abrupt. If you have thin hair, do you wish it were thick? N/A What kind of shoes do you normally purchase? Converse or Vans. Did you like Pokemon or Digimon when you were younger? Pokemon was and still is everything. Do you sleep with your hair up or down? It's too short to go up, but I didn't when it was long. When you go swimming, do you put your hair up or down? ^ Do you do any special workouts to stay in shape? I've started doing some yoga exercises and push-ups everyday to try to get IN shape. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I'd say they're fine. Is there a day you’d just like to forget? Which one? The day I ODed. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? I haven't worn a dress since my sister's wedding three years ago... and I looked awful. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? No. What is the one stereotype people label you as most? Don't really hear those nowadays. Who makes you the most angry in your life right now? My last fucking school. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. Literally once, and I hated it. It was incredibly uninteresting. Do you like flowers? What’s your favorite kind? YEAH. I love orchids and dahlias. How many grades have you failed in your life? None. Do you own a car? Who provides your insurance if so? No. Are you someone who can easily keep a secret? Yup. When was the last time you painted something? December, a painting for Sara. Who was the last female you hung out with? My mom. When is the next time you’re going on vacation? Hell if I know. Are you currently renting out your own apartment? No. Have you taken anyone’s virginity? No. Have you ever had anyone drop off animals at your house and what kind? No. Have you ever made your boy/girlfriend choose between you and someone else? No. Do you remember when some of the Walmarts had a McDonald’s in them? Our neighboring town still has one. When was the last time you were somewhere that offered free Wi-Fi? I dunno. What color are your curtains and are you satisfied with this color? Maroon, and yes. When was the last time you were stung by a bee and what kind was it? Last year by a bumblebee. Do you know anyone personally who had their house burn down before? Yes. What’s your favorite kind of potato chip and are they cheap to buy? Hm. Maybe classic... or cool ranch. Who was the last male you hung out with? My dad. Are you self-conscious? You have no idea. Do you tend to get sick more often in the wintertime? If not, is there a certain season that you get sick more often in besides winter? No. I rarely ever get sick. Do you find yourself being more of a germaphobe when you’re in public? Uh, duh. What is the worst thing you’ve seen in a public restroom? Blood under the seat. And I mean quite a bit. I usually check under them now after that event with Colleen. Nerdy question time. If you were in a more medieval time period, would you prefer to excel in might, magic, or finesse? MAGIC. Do you have an friends from foreign countries? Are they online friends or foreign exchange students? Or perhaps you have some from both? Online friends. Have you ever studied how your last name originated? Yeah. What is one recipe that you would like to learn how to make? Hell, a lot. I need to know how to cook period. How many hours can you go after a meal before you are hungry again? Does the time vary off how big of a meal it was? Depends on what I ate. Can be like... 4-5 hours or I can fast and go beyond 16. Really varies. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? HUNNY don't DO THIS. Oh Lord. I really don't think I can pick. I know back then it was "The Call," though. Favorite *N Sync song? Probably "Bye Bye Bye." Which of those two bands did you like best? Backstreet Boys. *heart eyes drool emoji* Do you learn choreography easily? I was okay back in dance, but I doubt it now. My memory and focus have declined. What is the theme of this year’s wall calendar? Idk, Mom hasn't changed it yet. Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? I don't believe that concept. Do you still have your favorite toy from when you were kid? Apparently no; asked Mom recently outta curiosity, and I was VERY surprised. I don't know how I ever could've gotten rid of him. Which do you do more: read books, spend time online, or watch television? Guess. What do you do the most when you’re online? Listen to/watch YouTube. Is your 2019 off to a good start? Eh, I suppose. What color is your winter coat? I don't have one. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Reese's. Do you think you’re too old to go trick-or-treating? Well, according to society. Do you have a bobblehead? If yes, what does your bobblehead look like? No. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No. What’s the strangest thing you’ve wrapped a present in? Nothing odd? Can you read in the car? I don't know if I've ever done that? Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Would you ever take a solo road trip? Nah. What is the most fascinating part of nature? Shit dude, idk. There's so much. Evolution, maybe. When did you last go to the library? What book(s) did you check out? Couldn't tell ya. Have you ever gotten in trouble for running up your phone bill? Nope. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't plan to any time soon. Do people normally say you’re a fast typer, or are you rather slow? Very fast. Do you believe in the concept of global warming? It's 2019. "Concept" my ass. Have you ever worked in retail? Never again. Are you even a little bit racist? No. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? Swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? We can't predict that. A meteor could fuck us tonight, or the supervolcano in Yellowstone could erupt the next time I blink. May not be for thousands of years. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Don’t you love American Horror Story: Asylum? I didn't watch it. When’s the last time you blew some bubbles? No clue. Are you self conscious about your nails? Not too much. Which pair of pants that you own are your favorites? Why do you like them? Pretty much all I have are yoga pants and leggings that all look the same... Now if I can include pj pants, the soft, black, white, and lilac Jack Skellington ones I have. They're comfy. Have you ever had any kind of dangerous addiction? What’s this addiction? No. Are your parents still married, divorced, or split up? Like this decision? Divorced. And I mean, any person would wish their parents were together ideally, but just with how mine always fought and just constantly seemed angry at each other, I'm glad they are. Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Do you think he’s awesome/dumb? I love that alien. His personality is so bubbly, he cracks me the hell up, and he's gone through so much growth. Are any of your favorite shows too dirty for television? Which ones? No. Are there any colorful quilts in your room? Which ones are colorful? No. Do you own a guitar? Specify. Which brand of guitar do you own? I do, but I don't recall the brand; I don't play it anymore. I just know it's black and white. Are you a monogamous person? Or do you hate commitment? Monogamous. Who was the last person who was rude to you? Idk, probably Mom. Have you ever met someone in person that you first met online? Yeah. Have you ever taken a test to see if you are colorblind? No. Who do you know who is dyslexic? Idk. Describe your dream wedding in five words. Small, memorable, gothic, emotional, and sincere are a few words I can think of. Is weed legal in your state? No. Have you ever thrown up in class? In kindergarten, I believe. What is something that you used to be ashamed of, but now you’re not? Mmmmm I dunno. OH ACTUALLY, for quite a while I was embarrassed of liking Pokemon for yeeeaaars because at that time it was seen as "weird," but now like. Give me everything Pokemon. Have you ever held a newborn baby? No. Are a ton of your Facebook friends getting married and having kids now? Yes. I sometimes forget we're at that age where it's kinda normal. What’s the last supernatural thing that happened to you? Idk. If you’re a Christian, how long have you known the Lord? N/A Do you live in an apartment, condo, dorm, or house? A house. Do you have a sibling with the same first initial as you? Well, it's his nickname. Do you ever eat kids’ food (as in, meals made for kids)? Hell yeah, give me that fuckin nachos Lunchable. Do you remember pre-school? I have vague memories. How old were you when you made your first friend? Two. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? The Incredibles 2, probably. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? It's game over if you recognize my Markiplier tattoo lmao. Do you refer to yourself by any sort of fan nickname (Belieber, Little Monster, etc.)? I will always be a GMM mythical beast, fucking fight me. What sort of situations make you feel most self-conscious or inadequate? Are there any people or places that just make you want to crawl into a hole? If you can’t think of anything specific, can you remember the last time (or any time) you felt this way? When I'm in a position where it's my responsibility to be knowledgeable, hence why I've struggled so immensely with work. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? I use Ozzkat like, everywhere, and it's my fave. Are there any cities near you that you’re afraid to go to because of the crime rate or its other bad reputations? Yes. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? Ha, yeah. Can you remember the last thing you thought and subsequently thought, “wow, I really shouldn’t be thinking that”? PTSD and OCD alike give me intrusive thoughts occasionally, so. How long does it take you in the morning to fix your hair? It takes just a few seconds to wet my hand(s) and go over the back where it usually sticks up like crazy. My hair is otherwise short enough where I have to do like... nothing. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be around your ex everyday? No. Do you prefer kisses on the nose, cheek or forehead? Cheek. Have you seen someone recently you used to talk to, but don’t anymore? No. Do you prefer a lot of ice in your drinks or just a little bit of ice? None. I don't like it to water down my drink, and even with water, I worry about one/some small ones going down my throat. Well, in margaritas it's obviously fine, just because it's so fine. Which condiment (ketchup, mustard, etc.) do you use the most of? Ketchup or honey mustard. Would you ever flirt with somebody in front of your parents? With my s/o, sure, just not if it's even mildly sexual. Have your parents ever questioned your virginity? Yeah. Have you ever spent over $100.00 on an article of clothing? What was it? FUCK no. Do you think your parents know things about you that you don’t want them to? Mom might. I doubt Dad does. How many of your friends play World of Warcraft? I think Sam still does, maybe Alex, and then I have a number of acquaintances exclusive to the game. Actually Girt might too... maybe. I just know he keeps up with the lore. Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting? CUTE. Would you rather receive roses or sunflowers? I'd appreciate either, but I prefer roses as flowers. Is your dad bald? No. Surprised honestly; he's in his mid-50s, and while it's gray, there's no less of it than there's always been. Who is the most boring or dullest person that you know of? Uhhhhhhhh I dunno. How long do you have until your birthday? Three days y e e t Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Do you remember the name of the first bar you ever went to? Never been to one. Were you of age? N/A When was the last time you wanted to do something, but couldn’t? With how Sara's been such a flirt lately, I deadass wanna pin her to a wall and go ham. Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? I don't for the sake of avoiding a headache and getting dizzy. Anything you might be giving up on soon? In the back of my mind, every once in a while lately, my hope's dimmed for photography, but I just refuse to give up. Have you ever made any kind of video? Yeah. Have you ever taken someone back after they’ve cheated? Hell no. How many living grandparents do you still have? One. Is there a garage or carport attached to your house? No. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No.

[lucindarobinsonvevo]

She’s Got It

A secret santa fic for: @queenbeazley​! Title: She’s Got It (Also on A03! let me know if you have an a03 account and I can gift it to you : -)) Prompt: Lucien & Jean, meeting via karaoke night AU (bar or location of your choosing) Word Count: 4,000 (almost on the dot) Warnings: N/A A/N: Sorry I wasn’t more present in your ask box, RL has been hectic recently. Hopefully though, you enjoy the fic! I don’t write fluff or Lucien/Jean often (ever?), but I did my best :-)  Merry Christmas, and I hope the new year is kind to you!

Well, your daughter only turns eighteen once, was how he mollified himself stepping out of the car. Li comically threw herself onto the ground, but stopped short of kissing the ground. “Oh dear God, I’m alive!” She exclaimed. Her brother scoffed as he slid out of the drivers seat. Charlie looked offended by her comment. “I wasn’t that bad.” He muttered, even though Lucien had to wretch the wheel out of his hand no less than three times.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched a boy in a fairly poor George Michael costume approach them. Charlie’s boyfriend, Danny. Compared to Charlie, who was wearing the same denim jacket he wore every day with the addition of one ‘I killed Laura Palmer’ badge (taken from the shed, from a box of things Mei Lin left behind and Charlie had decided were his). “Good evening Doctor Blake!” Danny said, wrapping an arm around Charlie’s shoulders. The 1980s music pumping out of the pub is a song he recognizes but doesn’t know. “Good evening, Danny.” He smiled. “My driving isn’t that bad, is it?” Charlie asked as they went inside. Danny pulled an expression Lucien recognized from his own marriage that was a ‘you are, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.’ Expression.

“It is.” Lucien said, stepping inside. “Yeah. I’m adding another song for almost killing us.” Li declared. “You wouldn’t.” “It’s my birthday so you have to do as I say.” Li said. Charlie looked to Lucien for help but he put his hands up. “Sorry son. She’s the birthday girl.” Lucien said, as the four of them wandered over to a large booth towards the back of the building. Charlie slid into one side of the booth, pulling Danny with him. He slid in across from him, Li slid in next to him.

It was on his first glance around the room that he noticed her. She was standing up on the stage, holding the microphone maybe a little tight in her hand. Her green drop waisted dress looked like it came directly from the decade in question, paired with a blazer that gave her shoulders rival to his own. He can imagine going to a nightclub in town and finding her at the bar, sipping an exotic cocktail from a glass with a tiny umbrella in it. And that wasn’t even getting him started on her voice.

“The goddess of beauty and love, and Venus was her name-“

She’s got it, yeah baby she’s got it, Lucien thought, the lyrics to the Bananarama song echoing around his head. He hadn’t even noticed her equally 80’s backup singers, equally coated in neon, tulle and poor choices. He tore his eyes away from the singing to look at Charlie, who was waving his hand in front of his face. “Doc? Doc? Earth to doc!” In a comical fashion. “Hm?” “Do you want something to drink?” “Hm?” “We’re in a pub, Daddy.” Li said, “A place where people go to drink.” Charlie is holding his debit card, while Danny poured over a menu. “Uh, I’ll just…Have a lemonade.” He said, and then produced his own card. “Put that away, use mine.” Charlie shrugged, and tucked his card into his pocket. “Drinks on me.” “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Danny said, blushing. “My daughter will only turn eighteen once.” Lucien grinned, “So drinks are on me.” Danny conceded, and trailed after Charlie as he went to get drinks.

Green dress has gotten off stage, but he quickly spotted her sitting in a booth down near the stage with her friends. There’s quite a large group of them, and they’re all about her age. “Are you going to sing a song?” She asked, looking at the man giving a rather disappointing rendition of Everybody Wants to Rule the World. “Maybe.” He commented, as Li started combing through the enormous book of songs that the machine played. She’d come prepared with a note pad and paper to write down the ones that she wanted to sing, or force her brother into singing.

“Have you heard from your mother?” He asked, softly. “She texted me this morning.” Li said, looking up from the notepad. “How is she?” “She’s fine. She likes Singapore a lot.” Li smiled, “Looking forward to when I come over for the holidays.” He nodded, and sat back in his chair. He was happy with the way custody was split, (or, had been split now she was eighteen) but that didn’t make saying goodbye to his daughter for months at a time any easier. Over time, his relationship with Mei Lin has gotten better, but it still wasn’t great. They tried their best to keep things civil for Li’s sake.

“I’ve got drinks!” Charlie said excitedly, coming around the table. He was holding a small pitcher of beer and a couple of glasses, and Danny was holding a can of Diet Coke, and a can of lemonade, as well as bowl of chips in his other hand. “Wooo!” Li said, enthusiastically as Danny poured drinks. Charlie slid back into the booth and popped the top on his Diet Coke, and slid a can of Kirks across the table to him. “They didn’t have any Sprite.” Charlie apologized, as Lucien took a long sip. “It’s fine.” He smiled, as Danny and Li tapped their drinks together. His eyes drifted away through the crowd, and he spotted green dress laughing with her friends in front of the machine, clearly going up for another song.

“Looks like we might be fighting for control of the machine.” Danny said, draping an arm around Charlie’s shoulders. Charlie looked for a moment like he might shrug it off, and then thought better of it, squishing up closer to Danny’s side so he could see the book. He observed the interaction and smiled to himself. He liked Danny a lot, he thought it was good for Charlie to be with someone who was affectionate.

Not for the first time, he felt a tiny niggle of jealousy deep in his gut. He and Mei Lin had married young, he wanted to upset his father, and he thought she was going to be the love of his life. Li was born, and things got miserable. He’d been determined that his daughter wasn’t going to grow up in an unhappy home, and he and Mei Lin tried and tried to work it out, but it still ended in divorce. Of course, then Charlie fell into his life, and he’d become a full-time father again, not just the half of the year when Li was with him.

He’d been busy, with work and child rearing (and drinking).  He hadn’t done much by way of dating when Charlie was young, and he hadn’t since he moved out, either. His eyes drifted out over the collection of people, and then came back to rest on Charlie and Danny. Maybe it was time to get back into the game.

Green dress was back up on stage, her metallic blue eye shadow sparking in the light. She was alone this time, and her slightly drunk friends are cheering loudly by the stage.

´”You with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged-“

“True colours.” Charlie said, scribbling that down on Li’s notepad. “Have you heard her new album? The country one?” Danny asked, to which Li shook her head. Lucien drowned their chatter out to pay attention to the veritable siren on the stage.

“But I see your true colors, shining through. I see your true colors, and that's why I love you-“

“Don’t be afraid, to let them show…” He murmured under his breath. Oblivious to his heart eyes, the three young people at the end of the table pulled him back into conversation. “Alright, Daddy-o.” Li started, “We’ve picked out some songs.” He tore his eyes away from her for the second time to look at them. “Charlie is going to be singing Wake Me Up Before you Go Go-“ “Against my wil-“ “-Shut up Charlie, Danny will be singing Ice Ice Baby-“ “Which is actually from the 90-“ “Shut up, Charlie, I will be singing Cornflake Girl-“ “That is from the 90s, just like-“ “Shut up, Charlie,  and you will be singing Mona.” “Which is also from the 90s.” “Which version of Mona?” He asked, ignoring Charlie. “Well, since you keep saying you look like him, the Craig Mac version.” “I think you mean Craig Mac and the Check 1 -2s.” “Whatever. It’s in the book.” Lucien looked at Charlie, who was arms folded and nearly pouting. “I’m lost, who’s Craig Mac?” “Craig McLachlan, people always say Doc looks like him.” Charlie said, filling his boyfriend in on the situation. “Who?” “Remember when I took you to see Rocky Horror?” “Yeah.” “The main dude.” Danny tilted his head and examined the man. “I can kinda see it.” Danny said, “Maybe if you were wearing lipstick.” “I told you I look like him.” Lucien insisted, as Charlie rolled his eyes. “People mistake me for him all the time.” “Sure they do.” Li said, rolling her eyes, too. Charlie is a terrible influence on her. “Well, if they ever make a movie of my life, I know who they’ll cast.” “Yes, Doc, they’ll make a movie of your life. Working at the clinic, driving Li to soccer practice and dragging your son to an 80s night and everyone decides to sing 90s songs.” “You don’t know that. Maybe I’ll save the life of a famous person, or be in a really bad boating accident.” “Yeah you don’t have to actually be good at anything, you just have to have lots of bad stuff happen to you.” Danny agreed. “We’re not living in Scream, Danny.” Charlie scoffed, “And if Doc’s life was made into a movie, what kind of dinky d-lister are they going to get to play me? Some dude who people only remember from one appearance in a shitty kids film, probably.” “Speak for yourself, I’m at least a B-lister.” Danny said, “Hopefully, some hot, young Home and Away alum.” “With my luck,” Li said, “I won’t be played by anyone because it’ll happen when I was seeing Mum.” The three of them tittered, and Lucien, having had enough of his spawns bickering, rolled his eyes. “I am going to que us up at the machine.” He declared, getting to his feet. “Alright, then.” Charlie said, handing him the slip of paper. Li slid out of the booth, and after a moment, got right back into bickering with Charlie. Lucien rolled his eyes, and wandered down to the front of the pub. The karaoke machine sat at the bottom of a little stage, and it seemed to be a free for all when you were putting in your songs.

He cued up each of the songs Li had written down, and then looked over at the machine. He typed in each song so they were cued up, and paused to watch the women on stage, belting out ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ as if their lives depended on it. Green dress was standing in the crowd, mouthing the word. He could walk up, and talk to her, if he really wanted. There was nothing wrong with that. But he’s a coward, and she’s here with her friends, so instead he goes back to the table.

“Who’s up first?” Li asked, taking another sip of beer. “Me.” Lucien scoffed, “Who else?” “Your freshly legal daughter?” “Don’t be ridiculous. Eldest first.” “Well, by that logic, I should be first.” Charlie counted, “Since I am in fact a one hundred and five-year-old alien.” “Can you prove that?” Lucien asked. “Can you disprove it?” “You look good for your age.” Danny said, “I would have thought you were only eighty-five.” “It’s not my fault I was blessed with beautiful skin.” He’s barely been sitting for five minutes when his song flashes on the machine. “We’ll be here.” Li says, all but shoving him out of the booth.

He hurried to the stage, and took the microphone in both hands. The lights were so bright he could hardly see the crowd, but he did notice Green Dress watching him, interested. Lucien has never thought of himself as a shy person, but damn she was making it hard. Look at you, old fool. You don’t even know her and you’re acting like she’s your high school crush.

The music kicked in, and words danced along the screen suddenly. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d started to sing.  He was already at the chorus when his mind kicked in. He’d been swept up in the memory of playing this on Charlie’s school guitar with him.  

“Tell you Mona what I want to do!”

He sang, the crowd cheering him on. Suddenly, he’s struck with a devious idea. He moved to the front of the stage, keeping his voice steady as he reached out, drawing on his inner Craig McLachlan, he offered green dress a hand. To his surprise, she took it, and let him lead her to the stage.

In the bright lights, she looks all but angelic. Her hair is ridiculously back combed and it looks like a halo in the light. He can’t tell if her eyes are sparkling or if it’s the makeup, but either way it’s beautiful. She moved left, then right, her hands suspended in the air as she moved in time with the bouncy music. Her lipstick is pink, and has tiny sparkles suspended in it. She smells like a mix of perfume and cocktails. He wants to keep starring at her as she lets him take a hand, hers fits seamlessly into his, and turn her around.

The light catches on the metallic fabric of her dress, and she can’t help but give him the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen as the song finally comes to a close. The romantic lighting fades away, and they’re back to standing on a demountable stage in a slightly dodgy bar in a worse for wear part of town. Only three of the lights work, and behind him the neon lights are only half working. They stand for a moment, looking at each other, before laughing. They get the same clap as everyone else, polite but mostly disinterested.

The next song clicks onto the screen, and both of them scurried off to the tables in the front row. Deciding that the kids could wait, he sat across from her, and they both looked at one another, before laughing again. “I must say, you’re a very talented singer, Mister?” “Lucien. Lucien Blake. And you?” “Jean.” “Nice to meet you, Jean. “And you.” “So what brings a lovely lady like you, to a place like this?” Okay not his smoothest move but it would do. “A girls night. No better decade than the eighties.” She grinned. Her teeth are white and square. “You?” “My kids birthday.” She looked at the stage where Danny was belting out Ice Ice Baby with enough enthusiasm for ten people.

“That’s one of yours?” “He’s actually my future son in law.” Pause. “Should I be worried about my kid dating someone who looks like me?” Apparently, his dad humor amused her because she chuckles. “Ahh, we all mess up our kids, comes with the territory.” There’s something sad under the laughter. He decides to take her mind off it. “Well, children aside, can I buy you a drink?” “Mighty forward of you, am I to assume there’s no Mrs Blake?” “There is not.” Not anymore, not that she needed to know that. She contemplated, before she nodded. She checked her oversized watch. “I’ll have a ginger ale.” Lucien grinned and made his way to the counter. He noticed Charlie is hiding his face, and Danny is now sitting on the opposite side of the table, and Li is all but skipping towards the stage. He grabbed a ginger ale, and a diet Coke for himself.

He returned to his seat, and delivered the lady her ginger ale. “Is this one one of yours?” He doesn’t comment on her usage of one twice. “My only and eldest daughter.” Li was singing off key, but what she lacked in nuance, she made up for with enthusiasm.

“I always wanted a daughter.” Jean said, “But God only saw fit to bless me with sons.” “How many sons?” “Two, Jack and Christoper Jr.” “A family name?” “After my late husband.” “I’m so sorry.” “This isn’t very good first meeting talk.” Jean observed. “As old people, we are strictly limited to discussing our children, marriages and the weather.” “And IKEA sales.” “IKEA is having a sale?” “Yeah it just finished, flat pack was half price.” He clicked his arms in front of him. “Damn. Just missed it.” Jean laughed, and took a sip of her drink, her lipstick left a mark around the rim. Interestingly, she doesn’t use a straw. They lapse into a comfortable silence until Li finishes singing, and Lucien has to do his fatherly duty and ensure he’s clapping the loudest. Li flung herself off the stage, and ran over excitedly. “Did you like it?” “Of course I did.” He said, irrespective of if he actually did. “It was great.” Jean said, as Li eyed her. Apparently, she passed the test, because Li grinned. “I’m going to force Charlie onto the stage.” Lucien caught her arm. “I know ribbing Charlie about his driving and bad attitude is all fun and games, but if he really doesn’t want to do it, don’t force him.” He warned her.  “He’s allowed to bow out if he’s not comfortable.” Li nodded, and hurried back to the table.

“She seems like a nice young lady.” Lucien gave a wiry smile. “You haven’t gotten to know her yet.” “Will I?” “I haven’t decided yet.” He replied, “Would you like to?” “I haven’t decided yet.”

Lucien looked up as Charlie took the stage, his hands shaking hard as he tried to keep a tight hold on the microphone. Danny is already cheering, much to the annoyance of the other patrons, but they could all serve to lighten up a little. What Li had lacked in talent she made up for with gusto. Danny…Well Lucien doesn’t know; he’s pretty sure Ice Ice Baby isn’t even a real song, but he’d at least had enthusiasm. Charlie has neither skill, nor excitement, and his singing amounted to him mumbling into the microphone. But he gave it a shot and Lucien supposed that was the most important part

“One of yours?” “Yep.” He replied, as Charlie slunk off stage before he could even begin to clap; Danny cheering as loudly as he dared. He slunk off stage and into the bathroom. Lucien watched as Danny followed after him and supposed he got it covered. Jean touched his arm lightly. “He’s quite brave.” “He always is.” He replied, “Can I buy you another drink?” He inquired, smiling. Charlie would be fine.  Jean checked her watch again. “No, but you can sing a little duet with me, if you’d like.” Jean said, swallowing the last of her drink.  Lucien observed her for a moment, before nodding. “Of course. What do you fancy singing?” “I’ll surprise you.”

Lucien watched her walk away, and he noticed he’s smiling to himself. She keys in a song to be performed after the woman on stage finishes her (very enthusiastic) version of ’I Ran (so far away)’. While he waited, he wandered up to Jean, coming to a stop next to her. She smiled at him, and she looks like the sun has just risen for the first time.

When the woman gets off the stage, he joins her, there is only one microphone, so they have to stand very close. He can smell her breath: ginger ale and alcohol. Maybe a little bit of toothpaste. The song title flashes up on the screen, accompanied by an unfortunately fake sounding guitar: ‘More Than Words – Extreme’ Huh. He kind of remembers that song, but not too well. Not well enough he could sing it by heart, but It’ll do. Jean takes the opening verse, starting a fraction of a second before he can open his mouth.

“Saying "I love you" Is not the words I want to hear from you-“

Lucien is struck by the thought that her voice would sound beautiful up against a plain piano, maybe a metronome. It’s a beautiful voice, attached to a beautiful woman. He is ridiculously infatuated with her, despite having known her for less than an hour. Matthew was going to think this was a hilarious story when he shares it next time they meet for lunch.

That’s if he survives the teasing from his kids.

“What would you do? If my heart was torn in two?”

Lucien’s heart is already in two, but of course, he doesn’t say that out loud. It’s just a song, after all, it’s meant to be relatable. No one wants to listen to music they cannot relate to. It’s why teen pop sells so well, and also probably why Charlie used to have a wall full of Justin Bieber posters. Because people relate to having a crush, or being in love, or having whatever an Ennie Meanie Miney Mo lover is. And he, in his old age of fifty, can relate to having a heart torn in two. That’s just how it was.

Jean picks up for the Chorus, all but belting the lyrics in true karaoke style.

“Make things new, just by saying "I love you-"”

I love you. Lucien has said a lot of I love yous in his life.

To his mother. To his wife. To his daughter. To his son. To his close friends. To his dogs. He’s said a lot of I Love Yous and he is suddenly and shockingly struck by the fact that he would like, some day, to say I love you to Jean with no last name he met in a dodgy bar in a worn out neighborhood, like a fool. He is a fool. A hopeless romantic, sure, but still a fool. You don’t fall in love with someone you just met. Love takes time, and work, and effort, and he wants to do all that. But first, he just wants to get through this song.

“Touch me, hold me close, don't ever let me go. More than words is all I ever needed you to show-“

Could he have saved his other relationship? Potentially. Touch me. Hold me close. He wanted to hold someone close. He wanted to be held. He wanted romance, and love. Someone once told him, potentially Matthew, that he was built to love, that he had too much of it, and he was destined to be a bleeding heart. That has never felt more true than it did right now.

“La di da, da di da, di dai dai da-”

Beautiful.

“More than words-“

Wonderful.

Her perfume smells chemically floral. Her voice sounds like honey

The music fades out. Kiss her, you fool! Kiss her! Thankfully, Lucien is not a slave to his base urges, and he does not invade the woman’s space more than he needs to. They depart the stage, and she gathers her bag. Lucien casts an eye to his table. The kids are sitting and talking among themselves. Charlie seems to have recovered, and Danny is trotting to the stage. Lucien recognizes the opening to ‘I Love You, Always, Forever” if he’s ever heard it. Didn’t seem like Danny had much musical talent, either. Oh well, C’est La Vie.

Jean is speaking with her friends, he looks over at his one time companion. She’s holding a napkin in one hand, it has the logo of the bar in one corner and a stain that could be anything from grease to beer in the other. She passes it to him, and there is a note scrawled there in purple gel pen.

‘Lucien –

Hope you had as much fun as I did. Call me xx

Jean B.-

P.S: You owe me a kiss for next time.’

Then her phone number, and a kiss imprint, complete with tiny pink sparkles. He looked up, Jean was nowhere to be seen. Neither were her friends. After a moment, he moved back to the table, and sat back down next to Li.  He put an arm around her shoulders and looked at her list of potential songs. Your eldest daughter only turns eighteen once.

[comebackwhen]

All of them for the Rescue verse?

I actually laughed out loud when I saw this. In a good way. Nonnies love the Rescue Verse, I guess! Thank you for submitting this.

I did it, but it’s longish so I’ll put it under the cut. All the Rescue Verse love below!

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I’m pretty sure this was the first time an nonnie wandered into my ask box and just dropped random awesome for me to build off of. To this day, I have no idea who to thank for starting the Rescue Verse, but I love them anyway.

2: What scene did you first put down?

I had never intended to flesh it out into multiple stories. I made up a vague, “things happened and now boyfriends!” sort of background and then just jumped in right at the first line of Rescue. Things went out of control from there.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Let’s go fic by fic for funzies!

Rescue: It’s more a paragraph than a line, but this section is still my favorite.

As he walked, he drew on traits from the men he had grown to love. He pretended he had Angeal’s unflappable composure, the confidence Genesis exuded with every step, and Zack’s friendly cheerful nature. He used those things to take on a persona much like Genesis had. He became a bright eyed, eager Third who had just spotted a beautiful woman.

I liked the idea of Cloud taking things he admired about the others and putting them to use in his own way. It’s also a bit of a play on Cloud thinking he was Zack for part of the OG.

A Lil’ Head Injury: Zack’s hugs might be the most enthusiastic, but Angeal’s were the warmest.

Mission Start: Cloud put on a burst of speed and rushed to cover Sephiroth’s back. Cloud could feel the heat of him along his spine and caught a whiff of vanilla and rose from Sephiroth’s hair as it whipped in the breeze.

I’m a sucker for Cloud and Sephiroth fighting together.

Uncanny Luck - One: He leaned against a wall with his eyes shut, looking for all the world like he was napping at the edge of a battlefield. A few Troopers were eyeing him, unsure if they should attempt to wake him or not.

I love it when Genesis is being a shit. Firaga runs and wild stories about how he burns Troopers alive are all well and good, but I think he would actually be a little more subtle about it.

Uncanny Luck - Two: To the surprise of everyone who was not Zack, Seventh Heaven was quite pleasant.

Dunno. There’s just something about that line that I like, even now.

Unrequited: Angeal thought that the moment should feel more significant, but somehow everything seemed ordinary.

That’s seriously my ASGZC aesthetic. It should be complicated and weird edges all crammed together, and yet it all just happens and it’s good.

Adjustment Phase: Cloud loved and hated the way Sephiroth said his name. It was practically a caress and Cloud always felt it as keenly as he would if Sephiroth were actually touching him. A small part of him wished Sephiroth were actually touching him.

Cloud really struggles with his inner monologue during this fic. I feel like this line really showed that.

Gen/Ang Sickness fic: Even if he pretended that he was above their country roots, Angeal knew Genesis occasionally liked to be reminded of home.

Genesis and Angeal alone together was the easiest to write. Angeal knows Genesis too well to be impressed by his BS. Genesis knows Angeal really knows him and enjoys not being on display for a change.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Rescue: Oooh… that’s tougher. Hm. I’ve always been proud of Genesis calling his admirer an “odious little pervert.” I also really liked Cloud and Zack’s “It wasn’t like that.”/”It was exactly like that.” exchange. My favorite though is probably Sephiroth’s line: “In fact, I believe you will be joining me for every public appearance I have for the rest of my life.”

A Lil’ Head Injury: “He came here almost immediately after leaving you to talk to me because he believed he was unfaithful to me. Either that’s love or a complete lack of self-preservation.”

Mission Start: “You’ll stay?”

There’s just something great about how vulnerable Sephiroth is in that moment without really saying anything at all. Though the innuendo at the end about Sephiroth calling Cloud sir is pretty great too.

Uncanny Luck - One: I really like the exchange near the end that’s a callback to the original fic. I was pretty proud of it:

“Are you sure that was him? He seemed kinda, I dunno, innocent-like to be the guy Natalia was talking about.”

“I’m sure. Short for a Solider, blonde spikey hair and blue eyes… always with the Soldier leaders. I saw him fight with the General and then talk with Commander Fair for a little bit. It has to be him.”

“Obviously Natalia was lying about what happened when she tried to flirt with Commander Hewley. I bet she never even talked to him. She was just trying to play it up by saying a Soldier tried to pick her up. Now we both look like idiots for panting over that Third.”

Uncanny Luck - Two: “Besides, I’m pretty sure burning down the building was Sephiroth’s plan for his next night out.”

Unrequited: “I will tell you the same as I told the brute in the kitchen. If you are going to reward me with kisses, that will make me want to quote Loveless more often, not less.”

This line is just so Genesis that I can’t believe I wrote it.

Adjustment Phase: It’s a straight toss up between, “He washes up, just like the rest of us… only with way more shampoo.” and “Hey  there, sexy pants.”/”I’m not even wearing pants.”

Gen/Angeal Sickness fic: It’s no wonder you’re tired, dear, you’re wound so tightly that you can’t even have fun in my imaginary scenarios where we sneak off to a town in the ass end of nowhere to annoy our little trooper friend.”

I can picture Genesis planning elaborate scenarios in his mind when he daydreams and having the more pragmatic Angeal and Sephiroth shoot them down with logic.

5: What part was hardest to write?

The little sexy bits. Zack talking about Genesis’s little game and Sephiroth talking to Cloud near the end of Rescue. Some parts of A Lil’ Head Injury too. I always feel like it reads as awkward as it feels when I write it. Of course, I have no idea if it’s true or not because I’m viewing it through my own awkward filter...

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Honestly, it was the fact that someone asked me to write it. I’ve been in the fandom a while under another penname. When I decided to come back, I scrapped the old stuff that was from when I first started writing and opened a fresh page under a new name. Even when I wrote before, no one came to me for content. They enjoyed it if I created it and put it out there, but they didn’t ask for it. Having someone want me specifically to give their idea life was a really awesome feeling.

7: Where did the title come from?

Zack’s line: “Tonight you learn something new about our relationship. I like to call it the rescue.“

It fit with the prompt too, but that was the line that made it work for me  as a title.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Mostly in the Uncanny Luck follow up stories. I’m definitely that Cloud. I’ve had friendly, fantastic conversations with strangers only for my friends to tease me after for breaking the guy’s heart.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

No real alternate versions, but I scrapped a plan where I was going to write a bunch of prompts using various mixings of ASGZC and post one a day for a month. I had the first three or four done but I wanted to post them so badly that I just went for it.

I guess you could say that Cloud’s B-Day fics from 2015 are a kind of alternate timeline. I was going to try and make them Rescue Verse stories but they never quite fit the world in my mind.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Besides it being part of the request, ASGZC was my go to happy place at that point. I had just gone through a rough break up and liked to imagine people being happy together.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

It’s kind of uncomplicated. Whenever I find a prompt I want to use for the boys, I don’t have to worry about fabricating a back story to justify why they’re together. They just are… and it’s awesome!

12: What do you like least about this fic?

By not planning it out, I occasionally write myself into a corner. Once I had a few stories written I wanted to go back and clean it up. There were events I had already alluded to and then had to write around. The more I add to the verse, the more of that I have to work around. It’s also occasionally a struggle to figure out where in the timeline things fit.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

It’s been so long, I don’t know what I did throw on to write to, but I would guess OC Remix’s Voices of the Lifestream album. It’s usually my go to when I write FFVII fics… if I’m not listening to the original soundtrack.

Particularly fond of Daydreaming Again and Sleep My Sephy.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Not learn, exactly. I more hoped that it would inspire other writers to get into the pairing. I enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

It was a good, “you can’t plan for everything” kind of story. I wouldn’t say I plan everything before I write, but I like to know the basic plot before I set fingers to keyboard. This was an exercise in “fuck it, let’s just do the thing!”