#200 years of being a LOSER

[beeandthescreen]

They couldn’t physically show a dirty, pathetic, muddy Lestat squatting in the fucking bushes while sobbing uncontrollably because it would actually cure all disease and solve world hunger

[twinsimming]

Level Up! Video Game Skill by Twinsimming 🎮

Happy New Year 🥳 Here's my first mod for 2024!!

This mod expands on The Sims 3's hidden Video Game skill by making it similar to the skill of the same name in The Sims 4.

This is a script mod that can be placed in your Packages folder. It was built and tested on 1.69 but should work fine on 1.67.

Requirements

This mod requires The Sims 3: University Life.

Overview

New Video Games

Tournaments

Stadium Tournaments

New Moodlets

Video Games

Sims can now play all 6 computer games available in The Sims 3, regardless of their Nerd Influence level. They also have access to 9 additional computer games from The Sims 4. All of these games will raise their hidden Video Game skill.

If you have @olomaya's Voidcritters mod installed, your sims can also “Play Voidcritters” on the computer to level up their Voidcritters skill along with their hidden Video Game skill.

The “Play Chess” interaction has been moved out of the “Play Video Game…” pie menu to avoid it getting lost among all of the new options.

Tournaments

Teen and older sims with level 2 hidden Video Game skill or higher can compete in video game tournaments on the computer. There are five tiers of tournament, each costing more in entry fees and being harder to win, but offering larger cash prizes.

The tournament tiers, required levels, lengths, entry costs, prize amounts, and chances of winning are as follows:

Amateur (Level 2) - 2 hours, §25 entry fee, 1st Place (§150), 2nd Place (§100), 3rd Place (§50), 40% chance of winning

Novice (Level 4) - 3 hours, §50 entry fee, 1st Place (§450), 2nd Place (§300), 3rd Place (§150), 35% chance of winning

Semi Pro (Level 6) - 4 hours, §75 entry fee, 1st Place (§750), 2nd Place (§600), 3rd Place (§450), 30% chance of winning

Pro (Level 8) - 5 hours, §100 entry fee, 1st Place (§1050), 2nd Place (§900), 3rd Place (§750), 25% chance of winning

Elite (Level 10) - 6 hours, §125 entry fee, 1st Place (§3000), 2nd Place (§1500), 3rd Place (§1000), 20% chance of winning

If your sim cancels the tournament interaction for any reason (mood failure, buff timeout, etc.) they will automatically forfeit the tournament. But they can enter a new tournament right away without a cooldown.

Placing in 1st, 2nd, or 3rd grants positive moodlets (Winner!, Runner Up, or Bronze Baby), along with prize money. If your sim doesn’t make the podium, they don’t get anything but a negative custom moodlet called Loser.

Win or lose, your sim won’t be able to compete in another tournament until their moodlet expires.

Certain traits can either increase or decrease your chance of winning a video game tournament by 5% (note: this value stacks the more traits your sim has):

Increased Chance Traits - Lucky and Computer Whiz

Decreased Chance Traits - Unlucky, Absent Minded, and Loser

A sim’s hidden Video Game skill and hidden Arcade Machine skill also factor into their overall winning chance.

Stadium Tournaments

If your sim is at least level 6 in the hidden Video Game skill, they can compete in video game tournaments held at the stadium rabbithole on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays @ 1:00pm.

There are Semi Pro, Pro, and Elite level tournaments available, with a slightly higher entrance fee than computer tournaments, but they offer much more prize money and celebrity points if your sim comes in 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place.

The chances of winning these tournaments is the same as their computer tournament equivalent listed above.

Semi Pro Stadium Tournament (Level 6) - 4 hours, §150 entry fee, 1st Place (§3000), 2nd Place (§2000), 3rd Place (§1500)

Pro Stadium Tournament (Level 8) - 5 hours, §175 entry fee, 1st Place (§6500), 2nd Place (§5000), 3rd Place (§3500)

Elite Stadium Tournament (Level 10) - 6 hours, §200 entry fee, 1st Place (§10000), 2nd Place (§8500), 3rd Place (§7000)

New Moodlets

*Winner!: Given when a sim comes in 1st place in a video game tournament, lasts 8 hours, +25 mood

*An existing moodlet that is repurposed for this mod.

Runner Up: Given when a sim comes in 2nd place in a video game tournament, lasts 8 hours, +15 mood

Bronze Baby: Given when a sim comes in 3rd place in a video game tournament, lasts 8 hours, +5 mood

Loser: Given when a sim fails to place in a video game tournament, lasts 8 hours, -25 mood

Tuning

All of the tunable values can be found on the mod download page under the header “Tuning”.

Mod Recommendation

I recommend using Dandelion Sprout's Unhide Hidden Skills mod to track your sim's hidden Video Game and Arcade Machine skills.

Conflicts & Known Issues

This is a new script mod so there shouldn’t be any conflicts.

Credits

EA/Maxis for The Sims 3 and The Sims 4, Visual Studio 2019, ILSpy, s3pe, Notepad++, and Script Mod Template Creator.

Thank You

Thank you to @simbouquet for extracting the video files and answering all of my questions!

If you like my work, please consider tipping me on Ko-fi 💙

Download @ ModTheSims

[simpcityy]

My Little Spawn Pt.1 (Dadstarion X Child!Reader)

Summary: Astarion was finally free from Cazador after being kidnapped by a mindflayer but he was stuck with one annoying task, you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Baldur's Gate 3 or any of its characters.

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Use of (Y/N), Cazador, language, spoilers for those who haven't gone far in the game....Uhhh...I think that is all.

Everything was dark and blurry in his eyes. All he remembers was stalking in the shadows looking for his next prey and suddenly he was kidnapped. He felt mixed emotions, fear but importantly joy, he was finally away from Cazador. It would be like he suddenly disappeared in thin air and Cazador will need him no more. Until he was stuck with another burden, You. “Would you keep quiet, dammit!?” He whispered rather loudly. You stopped shifting around the tall grass and peaked out of it. “I’m sorry” You whispered before going back to hiding. He looked over seeing two people walking by, “Perfect” He mutters and gets ready to put on his performance.  

  After almost getting incinerated, you and Astarion have found a group and camp for the remainder of the period till the little wiggly worm is out of your mind but of course, you wouldn’t comprehend, for you were so young. 

“Who’s the little adorable bugger?” Gale smiles letting you try to read the books he has found so far. “For the record this annoying little sp-human is not mine, they just seem to be attached to me.” Astarion watches you trying to pronounce the big words only to butcher them. “But it’s getting rather late and I hate to deal with a cranky annoying child tomorrow.” He picked you up keeping his arms outstretched and walked to his tent. Once everyone was out of earshot, he squats at your height. “Listen here, you must not tell anyone what we are understood?” His red eyes look down at your innocent (E/C) ones. “But why not?” You sat on top of the pillow looking up at Astarion seeing him take a deep breath in. Of course, Astarion knows he has to make it simple. “Because we are playing a game” He grins “ We are all hiding our identity. You and I are a team and the rest are a team. Whoever is the first one to discover their real identity, is the sore loser.” He gives a smile sitting down next to you. You pouted, your cheeks puffed up “We will win, okay! I won’t tell.” You lean back before yawning “ If they ask what do I say?” You cute little doe eyes look at him tiredly. “Hmm…we are just normal elves got it?” He looks away in deep thought, “it’s for the best for now” He mutters before leaning back “ You know for a being the youngest Spawn he created…you still need rest like a human, you are such an odd little creature” He gently plays with the ends of your hair “ Why did he even turn you?” He whispers as you slowly slip into sleep. “What use does he even have for you?” He kept asking himself all the questions ever since you were part of the “Family” 

You were the youngest spawn Cazador has ever gotten. You were only 5 soon turning 6. Astarion was first shocked to see Cazador holding you in his arms when he came back from bringing a pretty prey for his master. He never dared question, he kept all his unanswered questions to himself. Astarion felt anger towards you both. Why was Cazador more tender with you, not treating you like he does to his other spawns. Why did you get the special treatment? He was mostly angry towards Cazador as always, why did he turn you, you didn’t even reach your half way milestone of your life. You were going to stay that age and size forever.  He has been treated like shit for 200 years but you, you would never experience the things a child should be, the things teenerages and young adults go through. Once again Cazador has robbed you of your life just how Astarion was robbed of his.

Morning rolled by, You picked up a little flower near Gale’s tent, “Astarion! Look what I found!” You ran up to him as he was getting ready to set foot on finding a healer with the others. “What is it this time?” He mutters looking up before seeing a flower being gently shoved to his face. “A flower.” You smile waiting for him to take it. “ A flower…you called my attention for a flower…this is why I don’t work with little annoying monsters.” He sighs already feeling annoyed from the lack of blood. “I’m sorry…” You whisper looking down, putting the flower away from his face, small tears forming in your doe eyes. He stops putting things into his bag and sighs “ Why must you be such a crybaby” He sits down pulling your tiny form on his lap, taking the flower. “Wow, thank you. I feel the luckiest person to get a flower from you.” He says in a bored voice looking at you. You sniff and rub your eyes, “You mean it?” The tears no longer present in your eyes. He looks at you unamused. “Yes, now shoo, I have to pack. Go bother Gale, Shadowheart or even Tav but not me got it?” He makes you get off his lap before freezing feeling you give him a light peck on his cheek “Okay! I’ll collect more flowers for the others!” You giggle before running off.  He placed a hand over his cheek and watched the direction you left. “What an odd little spawn.” He whispers before continuing to pack. 

  You hummed a tune as you collected more flowers near Gale’s camp where Gale was sitting on the pillow, reading a book. He looks up hearing you hum. “Say (Y/n), that tune you must be from the upper city aren’t you?” He smiles placing the book down as your little feet shuffle over to him. “Mmhm! Papa would always sing me this lullaby at night!” You grin “It’s my favorite and he always wants me to sing! He says I’m his little singing bird!” Placing the flowers down, you sat on the ground in front of gale. Thinking back to what Astarion said last night, remembering to not give away too much information. “Judging by your clothes, I bet your father is a rather important man?” He smiles rubbing down those stubborn baby hairs that lift up from your hair. You only nodded “Papa is the best! I miss him and I want to go home…” You look around the wilderness that you and Astarion crashed in. “I want him to hold me close…I always dream of those monsters…and the little wormy” Whimpering you scoot into Gale’s arms. “I don’t want them to come back!” You tear up, “I want papa to hold me but he’s not here!” You wail. Gale quickly panics “Oh…crying child…what to do…wish Tara was here…” He mutters before rubbing your back “Hey now, you can always come to me, Shadowheart and even Tav if you ever have a nightmare. How about this, before you go to bed, I will tell you a story so you can dream of that story rather than the scary monsters. Trust me, I have read so many books, I know them by heart.” He grins as you finally stopped the water works. “Which is why he’s a walking library in this case.” Shadowheart smiles walking over “Now, we should get going, the closer we find a healer, the faster you can go to your papa” She smiles leaning to your height. “Really!” You smiled, your eyes widened at the thought of seeing your father soon. “Let’s go!” Grabbing the flowers, you ran to Astarion to share the news. 

“Astarion!”

“What now!?” 

Walking to find a healer seems like eternity to you, “I wanna rest!” You whined to Astarion tugging at his shirt. “Then complained to Tav, they are leading the damn group, not me.” He sighs, breathing in heavily to compose himself from lashing out. “Up! Up!” You lifted your arms. “The hell I won’t!” He walks faster only for you to follow him whining even more. The rest of the small group look over watching the two of you, seeing you bothering Astarion even more. “Is it me or do these two know each other very much?” Shadowheart watches you keep tugging on his shirt. “Yet he says he doesn’t know (Y/N), that they only tagged along with him.” Gale crossed his arms. Tav smiles “I don’t know, (Y/n) looks nothing like Astarion so I doubt they are related and (Y/N) always mentions a papa.” Shadowheart and Gale nodded. “What in the nine hells! Where did you go!?” Astarion looks around for you as you stop tugging on his shirt a while ago. “Where did they go?” Tav walks back to the pale elf. “ I don’t know, the moment they were annoying the hell out of me! Next thing I know, they are go- wait…” He smells it, blood. You must have run off to the smell. “ I…um…heard them, this way” He quickly follows the scent with the rest following. 

You carefully walked down the ladder, the smell of blood getting stronger. Turning around a corner, you are met with a woman with red skin, burning and importantly with a broken horn. Slowly walking over to the tiefling, you look up at her “Are you okay?” You meekly whisper seeing how tall she was according to your height. She looks up hearing the childish voice, “Hells, what is a child doing all alone?” She looks at you shocked before feeling the tadpoles connect. “Fuck” Karlach whispers holding her head “You were also in that ship…” She whispers before calming herself down and kneels down to make it seem less intimidating to you. “Hey there little soldier,  What are you doing all alone?” She smiles as you slowly take small steps towards her. “I…you’re hurt…are you okay?” You go to place your small hand on her but she backs away quickly. “Careful there, I’m not like any other tiefling, I can burn you.” She smiles “I'm Karlach, what’s your name, little soldier?” She chuckles admiring your little face as you try to say her name slowly. “Car…Ka…la…Karlach.” You finally get it right, before giving her your name, someone else beat you to it. 

“(Y/N)!?” Tav runs over, crossing the log and quickly pulls you back from Karlach, putting you behind. “Get away from them” Tav frowns weapons out. “Are you okay?” Shadowheart checks you over for any injuries as Gale also checked along with her. Astarion catches up and lets out a small sigh seeing you alive and safe. “What in the sweet hells were you thinking running off like that?! A goblin could’ve gotten you or a wild animal?!” He looks down at you but stops himself seeing you tear up. “I-I’m sorry….don’t get mad like papa!” You cried. “Like papa….” He glares down at you. “Don’t ever compare me to him you litt-” He stops himself seeing the fear in your eyes. Him, being like Cazador. He would rather kill himself than be exactly like his old master. He sighs before kneeling to you as the others were busy with Karlach. “Sorry…I was…I guess you can say I was very worried…I know it wasn’t your intention to run off…” He then whispers “You must be hungry…for blood like me…I know you are craving that sweet and yet bitter flavor but you need to hold it in like I am…tonight we’ll find some small vermin okay?” He slowly pats your head as you nod. Standing up, he walks over to the rest as you follow closely to him. “My, I feel so much better knowing we have a strong wall to protect us from any arrows” He smirks after learning Karlach was recruited. “I like her! She’s nice!” You popped out from behind walking over to Karlach. “And I like you little soldier” She smiles. 

After going back to camp for the day, Astarion watches as you listen to Gale’s stories. He sat from his tent looking at a book but his mind wandered back to what you said. Like papa…when has Cazador ever punished you? He thinks back but nothing comes to him. He turns the page to the book to make it look like he was reading. He looks back at you with that question still haunting his thoughts. It really ticked him off when you compared him to Cazador, he will never be like him…no he will be better. He wants to get back at him and back at him good. He smirks looking at you. Why not get him back with the thing he treasures the most, or rather the person he treasures the more. 

You

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors Notes: Thank you everyone for reading this, please like, reblog and share it with others. I will be working on Part 2 soon hopefully. I also started another series a month ago or more about Astarion and a Gur! Reader. There is only part 1 out as well but I will be working out on that. Please remember to stay hydrated and to get some rest. Love you all! You are welcome to ask to be tagged as well for the next part.

-Axie

[hana-no-seiiki]

but like . . . yandere loser vampire partner that somehow doesn’t have game even after 200 years of living. and dom reader why not we miss em.

the only thing going for them are their looks, extensive knowledge about niche topics, and natural body glitter (like omfg i would become a vampire myself if it means im permanently covered in shimmer-)

they were in most of your classes in university but never appeared unless it was for exams. apparently they had a ‘skin condition that made them extremely sensitive to the sun’ and were therefore excused for classes. a student was usually paid to hand them notes.

that student was your friend. they were a bit of a bum if you were being quite honest. the only thing that urged them to complete the job was money. but after being too lazy to do it so many times, the job was thrown over to you to agonize on.

you quickly find out that your friend was underplaying the pay significantly after the first check. this student must have been the kid of a rich billionaire cause goddamn you didn’t know who the hell else would pay a grand for every subject you completed.

i’d say that you feel kind of bad receiving all this money and therefore improved your note-taking skills out of the kindness of your heart but i mean c’mon you’re reading from my blog- you definitely tweaked it just to earn more of that sweet cash. even drawing doodles at the wee hours of the night and little mnemonics you thought up.

yan sees the effort you put and begins subconsciously keeping your notes in better places. they find themselves grinning like a madman whenever they see that one character you drew that dumbs down some parts that might be too difficult to understand. you even provided translations in subjects that use two or more languages.

yan, despite being already down atrocious for you, never makes the initiative to meet up. they have however, already made extensive research on you. so much so that they’ve made several papers on just your magnificent self.

and so came the time you offered to meet with them. mostly cause y’know, connections with a rich ass dude would be great, but also because you were curious to see who tf pays someone this much to go to school for them.

and you then you meet this socially awkward, super shy, speaks hella old and formal (insert preferred language/dialect here), and oh they’re like super fucking cute it’s actually making you have that sort of aggression you get from pets/toys.

oh.

you want to fuck this dude’s brains out alright.

[notroosterbradshaw]

Oh thank you for the compliment :) i'm sure you could do it justice but maybe we could get some generic hangman fluff maybe with them at the beach and he looks out for her by putting sunblock on her and making sure she's eats lunch and stays hydrated and he's teasing her and being very playful with her? Thanks



Okie doke, you get your Hangman on the beach, nonny. I hope you enjoy! Hangman fluff awaits. Dagger Squad future fic.

You liked this new tradition you were able to share with Jake. Each year, around the same time depending on deployments, family commitments, you know the normal life stuff, Dagger Squad came from far and wide to try and get back to the beach for their annual defensive football game and bonfire. Mid-afternoon, the egos start running their mouths about which team will win, and what the stakes are (and the winners and partners always enjoyed the 200 push-ups for the losers and Fanboy's sigh at wishing he never mentioned it).

"Right here, baby?" Jake asked quietly, saying a quiet hello to Bob's partner and burgeoning baby belly and Penny. His warm palm skimming the skin between your ripped jeans shorts and his old Foreigner tee you'd knotted in the back to make work. He nuzzled your neck as he dropped the cooler and whipped off his shirt. He hadn't buttoned it so what difference did it mean as he slid out of his flip flops and put all his gear into a pile and into the beach bag.

Some regiments he just couldn't shake, and neatness was one of them. So was the gym. You would love him endlessly anyway, but he was proud of his body and worked hard on maintaining it as he got older. You were proud he was proud he took such good care of himself and you reaped the benefits.

Ha gave you some space as he unfolded the blanket and flicked it out onto the warm sand as Harvard and Yale approached him and within seconds, they were talking about recent deployments, new kit, and manoeuvres. You were as supportive as you could be with things you'd rather be kept in the dark over. Jake respected that. He knew what he did terrifed you but the boys just understood it better than you ever could. You were absolutely not offended.

You tossed some bits and pieces on the blanket, camera, snacks, and sunscreen. "Ooh," Jake smirked, popping to pick up the sunscreen. "May I?" he asked eagerly.

"May I?" you repeated, biting back your grin. "Aren't you proper today?"

"I would hate for you to be burnt. It's a skin trauma, baby," he protested as you took your sunnies off and glared at him. "And I wanna feel you up. Sue me," he shrugged, his true personality shining through.

"Well, aren't you sweet?" you roughly patted his cheek and the masochist in him loved the lack of caress in your touch. He adjusted his jaw appreciatively. "Okay, Jake. Just to avoid the trauma."

"Your skin is your biggest organ," he reminded you, watching you lift the shirt over your shoulders, licking his lips at the additional skin you'd been keeping under wraps. "Not mine..." he muttered cheekily.

"Jake, knock it off," you laughed as he grinned wide, turning you away from him. You wouldn't complain about the extra touch and affection that lasted a good five minutes, you we melting under his light touch. He kissed the nape of your neck in finality. "I'm good?" you asked quietly.

"You're very, very good," he growled playfully swatting your butt.

You gave him space and sat on the beach blanket, sunnies back on, and Jake plopped your hat on your head. "Thank you."

"Here ya go, sweetheart," Jake handed you your water bottle. "Gettin' hot out here," he grinned. He thrived in hot weather. You smiled against his lips as he laid a gentle kiss on you. "You wanna play?" he could hear the catcalling and jeering for Jake to toss the ball around.

"Would rather put knitting needles in my eyes. Only here to watch the bodies," you joked... kind of.

"You just mean mine, right?" he asked, a mix of unsurity and arrogance as you laughed.

"Yes, Jake. Only yours. Go have fun," you reassured him, taking a seat and a cool slug from your water bottle as he stood over you and squatted to give you another sweet kiss.

"I'm glad you're here, sweetheart. I'm happy as this group gets bigger that you're here with me and you get to meet the people I trust more than my own family."

You cupped his jaw. "They are your family. They are our family, baby. You big softie."

Warm in the sun, but you noticed his ears flush and duck his eyes. "Don't tell anyone or my reputation will be shattered," he teased as you both laughed loudly, and his heart swelled to bring that smile to your beautiful face. "Gimme some lovin' before I go and kick these preppy asses," he smiled against your lips and kissed you deeply. "Another," he demanded. "You're so sweet, I can't handle it," his nose nuzzled against yours.

You knew his friends were mocking him behind his back but you were very confident he didn't change his behaviour around his friends and was comfortable enough to lay some love on you and you were very aware of Penny's stare... and jaw-dropping.

"Jake, Jesus!" you hear Coyote holler.

"Your bestie is pissed," you told Jake as he looked back over his shoulder and gave the team a selective one-finger salute. "Go, before they think it's me keeping you here. And not your that's horribly whipped."

"I'm whipped," he admitted and stretched, this incredible body flexing in all the right places, the golden sun making the beads of sweat his flawless skin glisten. Jesus, he was just so sexy. "I freely admit it."

"Go," you scooted him as his persona changed and Hangman arrived.

"All right, all right, all right, who is ready for some football?" he boomed, drifting over to his friends. It got rough and competitive, sweaty and slippery pretty quickly and you got closer a while later to take some polaroids as the sun set for shits and giggles later tonight to hand out. You had a pleasant afternoon as more friends and family joined you and kept you busy.

As the game was called and losers paid their penance in the form of push-ups, you watched Jake and Rooster put together the bonfire, the part you were most excited for. Yes, Jake Seresin was hotter, if possible, in most light, but the way the flames flickered over his face as you chatted with Natasha and he kept his arm around your shoulder, under the pretence of keeping you warmed before the roaring fire.

"You hungry, babydoll?" he murmured in your ear, the barbecue well and truly cranked and the smells driving your tummy into overdrive. "Beer?"

"Yes to both, please?" you asked and he nodded, kissing you tenderly before leaving you with Natasha. She shook her head in disbelief.

"Who is that guy and what did he do with Bagman?" she asked, astonished. You grinned. "That is a man in love."

[charmedreincarnation]

As a sublinmals user and someone apart of the law of attraction community, people like you and other bloggers are the reason the community get such a bad rep. You guys are delusional talking about waking up with trillions in the bank, new face, and revising your entire lives like a fucking book. You’re fucking liars and delusional and it’s so fucking sick you lie about this stuff

I’m going to say this once and only once. This page is for the people who don’t limit themselves and want to live their best life in every aspect. This is for them and only them. you are not welcomed here whatsoever, and you’re merely a guest so remember that if you ever want to send something like this to another blogger. Regardless what you’re not going to do is disrespect the hundreds and thousand of bloggers and anons who decided to accept their control of their reality and change it.

I also need you limiting losers to use the room temp iq you’re profusely trying to show off with this take and think for one second. To most people outside of loa…you’re delusional too, so one, welcome to the club babe. Two. Do you really think you’re changing your dna code with subliminals in this plain of existence, when that’s not scientifically possible??? You neanderthals think it’s logical to be able to go from going from 5’3 to 6’3 in one year but, the limit is that it’s not possible in one second? Have you ever thought about why it’s possible in the first place?? The reason you can change your eye color, or height is the same reason I can develop a 200 IQ, 1 billion dollars, wings, Telekenis, and my own death note if I please. I’m not even going to explain that here because if you wanted to know you would. but instead you choose not to think, and blindly accept your results which is fine..but then don’t claim to be this mighty intellectual being when you know nothing.

the way your head is so far up your ass you’re limiting your own ability to having something as insignificant your desired eye color in 3 years, when you could have the world rn is embarrassing. If That’s your respectful choice, more power to you. But what’s better than that, is all the people have completely changed and revised their life for the better. They will and continue to already live the most fulfilled life with no aspect left infilled and that’s the people I’m trying to engage with. not your annoying ass

[asherthecatlvr]

Obey Me Brothers with an GN!MC interested in their past

like a detective way where they try and figure out literally everything

(and yes this is me, i have too many questions about the brothers)

Lucifer

Hes fine with it, mostly. He does understand there is a lot of mysteries to his family, but for the love of diavolo stop asking the most detailed questions at the dinner table.

ESPECIALLY if its about Lilith. The most you’ll get is a look from everyone and Beel choking on his food

Besides questions that goes past boundaries, hes happy to answer any questions. Most he already has the answer to

Some he doesn’t, like a question about his power. Demons don’t have a way to exactly track their magic, so if you want to figure out how two of his wings somehow are more powerful than Asmo, Beel, and Belphie, don’t ask him.

Other than those things, hes fine with you questioning everything. Doesnt harm him at all so do whatever you want (as long as it doesn’t affect his brothers tho)

Mammon

Weirdo is what he thinks. Who cares about his past?? that was over 200 years ago! Stop questioning everything in that corner and give him ways to get money!

Ohhh so you want to know more about Lilith?? Ask the twins cause he’ll either look at you weird or just straight up tell ya no. If its a reasonable question, then still ask Beel or Belphie.

A question about his brothers will probably end up with an answer if youre lucky. He doesn’t care about those questions and havent really thought about them until you mentioned it! Its not like he’s going to after though, so don’t ask him to get an answer.

Overall, he thinks youre a bit boring and better with Satan but still loves you. No way is he just going to give ya off to Satan!

Leviathan

Out of everyone, him?? theres not much question about him besides why hes such a loser

yeah joking theres a lot. If you ask him how he’s able to still mantain a strong body while either not eating and drinking for months or eating chips and soda, you’ll get no answer. He just shrugs and assumes that its just how demons and angels work

And also, stop zoning out in the middle of shows!! He loves you but he wanted to rewatch ‘Ruri-Chan Saves the Planet with Her Magical Skills’ So he can rant to you about it!! He’ll shake you awake if he has to!

But as a friend (or more) he still loves being with you. Just don’t ask any questions related to Lilith

Satan

Yeah im gonna be honest this is the only dude you can talk to, but still end up with no answer. He has theories, sure, but not much evidence can back it up

If you ask a question prepare to get a long answer, at least an hour of him ranting about how he can’t find anything other than theories written 700+ years ago

Do not ask him how he was formed. Even if Lucifer has nothing its still a bad idea. That will be a mystery forever

As for the power question, considering hes more powerful than a few brothers and was onlt formed from two wings, he is trying to figure that out. He doesn’t like thinking about Lucifer though, so most of the time he turns to questions about Lilith.

If you want info about her, just go to Satan or the twins. He has most of what they know, since they told some info and what they know abt her to him

But overall, if all youre doing is figuring out mysteries, Detective Satan will be your best friend!

Yeah im finishing this later, enjoy this part though

[sirguyofdykesborn]

top 5 favorite moments from your gay ass book

received two rote asks so i will be using this one for general things i keep thinking about

1) robin hobb having a version of "male shounen writer being so misogynistic every male friendship is gay" syndrome but it's about the fact that she just sucks at straight relationships so much literally everyone is some sort of homosexual. whatever was going on with burrich and fitz's loser father. and you're telling me patience loved sleeping with her lifelong female companion slash servant ?

2) Robin Hobb's Barely Disguised Cuckolding Kink

3) chade living through all the 9 (12 if we're counting liveship trilogy) books and ending up dying at like. 200 years of age. because he was doing meth magic

4) fool impregnating fitz with Genocide Autistic White Baby

5) fool having two fathers who are brothers. he also had a mom so it evens it out i guess

[pupyuj]

Gp pervy landlord yujin IS GIVING ME GENUINE BRAINROT RN IT'S INSANE :(

hehejejjrkf 😵‍💫😵‍💫 tropes that fit yujin like a glove: loser, pervert, virgin... like this is just perfect 🤤

you've built a pretty close friendship with your kind landlord during your months of stay in her apartment! you could say that you have a bit of a crush on her 👀 yujin was pretty, she was funny, a bit awkward when talking to you but in an adorable way, and her jokes were lame, but you still laugh bcs she was so cute 😭😭 you never could've guessed what she does behind closed doors... never could've guessed that she fights for her life trying to hide her hard on whenever you talk to her, never could've guessed that she stares at you hungrily whenever you're not looking... and certainly, you never could've guessed that she spends hours in the safety of her own apartment getting off to the thought of you 🫠

she cherishes every moment she has with you in like an almost obsessive way?? she gets excited delivering your packages to you if she so happens to get a hold of it, the slightest skin contact gets her soo hard it's actually pathetic 😭😭 her favorite part of the day is seeing you first thing in the morning when you check your mail in your pajamas,, with your hair being slightly a mess, your eyes so sleepy,, you just look so cute and fuckable to her 🫣 definitely doesn't make her interest in you a secret whenever she gets to talk to you in the morning bcs that's when she wants to fuck you the most but you never really notice cuz you're half-asleep most of the time 😭😭😭

oh um.. she also jerks off to some cctv footage of you in the laundry room of the apartment that she has... bcs whenever you do your laundry, you wear some really short shorts and yujinnie fantasizes about coming on your ass while you're wearing them all the time :(((

sjbsbcdjfjkdbf imagine like,, getting trapped in a packed elevator with her,,, but not like in a oh-no-the-elevator-is-broken way but there's just a lot of people in it that you can't really move 🤭 standing in a super close proximity with yujin, her breath fanning your face a little and she's blushing and she's so hard and you can feel it bcs you're kind of pressed against her???? SHE CANNOT MEET YOUR EYES AT ALLLLL 😭😭😭 and you're kind of a mess too bcs holy fuck your landlord's dick is literally on your thigh 💀

"i'm really sorry... (y/n)-ssi..." yujin managed to say ugh she was adorable,,, laying her forehead flat on your shoulder to hide her red face :((((

"it's okay, yujin-nim. it happens." you were saying while laughing. yujin raising her head only to find that the two of you are within kissing distance,,, you were so pretty up close, she's only getting harder 😳😳😳 yujin leaving the elevator in a rush,, and your face was just red and you walked to your apartment kind of in a haze,,, yujin just became 200 times more attractive 🤤🤤 BUT SHE WOULD AVOID TALKING TO YOU FOR A BIT AFTER THAT :((( you weren't supposed to know how she feels about you like that 😩 and ofc you were sad about this bcs you really did like having yujin as a friend... so now maybe it's time to promote her as a fuck! 😍

inviting her over to your apartment to celebrate one year long of being under her care 🫣 yujinnie being so stiff and even more awkward than she normally is after the whole elevator debacle 😭😭😭 everything going smoothly until you're both buzzed from some champagne,, giggling at the smallest things while watching a movie,, cuddling with glasses in your hands and suddenly yujin was kissing down your neck,,, "(y/n)-ssi.. i really really really.. hic... i really want to fuck you right now... i always have.." and then she's pulling you to her lap,, pressing her cock against you while still kissing your neck 😩😩

"mhm.. whattt... yujin-nim, you're such a perv..." you were saying while giggling uncontrollably bcs yujin was sucking on that sweet spot on your neck while touching you everywhere :((( 'accidentally' spilling your drink all over yujin's shirt bcs you kind of turn into a little shit when you're drunk sjdbfjfkf "oops... guess you gotta take this off now.." you sloppily unbuttoned yujin's shirt and threw it away,,, and you gasped seeing her body,, "wahh, yujin-nim, you're so hot..." while poking her abs and groping one of her boobsjdbfjfjffk

aaaacckkkkk yujinnie taking off her pants in a hurryyy when you've kneeled down in front of her 🫣🫣 "i w-wonder if... hic... i can take all of you in me.. whoa.." you said, staring at your cute landlord's thick cock 😩😩😩 yujin not wasting any more time and forcing it down your throat, and she starts you off in such an insane pace too.. she has wanted this for soooo long 😵‍💫 she was pulling and tugging at your hair pretty hard but it made you so wet that you didn't mind that it hurt a little :((( choking when she spills her load in the back of your throat,, her telling you to swallow which you do of course bcs you would be crazy not to drink her delicious cum 🫠🤤🤤

but imagine you're like the sleepy kind of drunk :(( you're half-asleep with your ass up on the couch while yujinnie is fucking you so roughly from behind :(((( "good night, (y/n)-ssi... ahh.. ahh...! i promise i'll.. m-make you feel good even when you're asleep... fuck..!" you only hearing yujinnie's grunts in your ear while entering a deep slumber :((

you'd definitely wake up with cum on your tits, thighs, and stomach 🤤🤤🤤 and yujinnie cuddling up to you, making you feel so warm and safe in her arms 🥺🥺

[unaffiliatedpangolin]

You have to be a loser to be a leftist.

Thinking that events 200 years ago have a larger impact on your life than your own decisions have right now.

Thinking that the only way to get what you want is by having the government steal from those who have more and give it to you.

Thinking the government is going to keep you safe.

Not eating right and expecting others to pay your medical bills.

Not being physically fit or strong.

Keep that negativity away from me. Nobody wants to be around a loser like that.

[fuckmymunson]

🌻 “forfeit, loser, competition” / remus lupin / nsfw

𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫 — 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝐋𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐧

♡ CW: Professor!Remus x Student!Reader relationship, SMUT 18+, oral sex (m), unprotected sex, (kind of) dirty talk. Reader is of age and consents to this relationship! Not proofread! | Word count: 2.9k | Minors DNI! ♡ a/n: 200 flowers request! Thank you <3. Ugh, have I mention how much I love this man?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Quills up, everyone.” Professor Lupin’s voice echoed in the spacious classroom, earning himself a small groan from the group of seventh-years. “Don’t worry, now your exams are my problem.”

Standing up, picking your bag and following your friends you felt a light tap on your shoulder, turning around you lifted your eyes looking at Professor Lupin. “Yes? Professor.” You asked with a gentle smile.

“You dropped this, darling.” Hiding your amusing smile at the pet name, you remained professional when he handed you the golden quill you particularly used for this test. “A very nice quill this is.”

“Thank you, Professor.” The title rolled down your lips in a bewitching manner, making him smile. “It’s my lucky quill, I use it on every test.” Tucking it in the safety of your bag, you felt amused at how dangerously close you were to being caught. 

“Well, I’m sure you will ace this test.” He smiled at you, the signature smile that made every student melt in their spot, you included.

“I learned from the best.” You giggled softly and followed your friends to the next class. 

“What the hell was that?” One of your friends inquired, nudging you with her shoulder. 

“I don’t know what you're talking about.” Playing innocently was one of your favourite activities, it only added more character to your overall smart girl look, always the one with the highest grades and a rising star.

Truth be told, even if you were quite smart, even smarter than the average, you had a little tiny secret, one that could ruin your entire reputation and perhaps get you expelled from Hogwarts: A golden quill capable of writing all the right answers, words and mark the right dots on any test, essay or parchment. It was absolutely prohibited, and even with something so powerful in your lovely hands, you used it less than two times in a full school period. 

Honourably granted by the one and only Weasley twins, who happen to owe you a big one after you lied for them, saving them from being expelled from school, a long story, a very funny too. At first glance, it looked like a simple golden quill, perhaps a little smaller than average sure, but stereotypical girls liked smaller things because they were so cute! Fred and George took an insanely amount of time and effort into conjuring new spells, jinxes and maybe even a curse, if anyone tried to reveal its secrets, the quill will automatically explode and the ink would be so dense and heavy, it was hopeless to even try and wash it, not even with the strongest whitening spell. They encouraged you to try it in your fifth year when you complained for a week straight about how you were definitely going to fail Snape’s test. 

“M’lady… for your grades you shall not cry anymore!” Fred spoke exaggeratedly, you scoffed annoyed while the twins sandwiched you between their arms.

“We have an invention that will shake you from your head to your wand’s core!” George joined his brother, the registered Weasley smile plastered on their freckled faces. 

“Just tell me what the new toy is, I have to study for potions.” Rolling your eyes, you giggled at their antics, having a soft spot for their sense of humour. 

“Toy?” They exclaimed in unison, offended. 

“Whatever.” With another eye roll, they laughed and continued with their presentation, as teasing as these two could be.

“We present to you: The Snap n’ gold!” And right there, in the desk of the empty classroom they dragged you into, a golden quill appeared, smaller than yours, with a hint of platinum sparkles in the golden patterns. “Go on, try it.” Next to the quill, a white parchment appeared as well. “What’s 2316 x 6019?” They continued speaking as one, hinting you how long they planned this.

“How the hell am I supposed to know that?” 

“Let the Snap n’ gold work its wonders, my dear.” Fred’s smile widened.

“And only the right answers shall appear.” George closed the rhyme with his best impression of a Victorian pose.

Since when this was an arithmancy pop quiz?

Either way, you watched amazed at how the quill moved your hand in such a natural way it seemed you were the one writing. “It says 13,940, 004”

“Correct!” The twins exclaimed, cheering you and of course, themselves. 

That's how you crushed your potions test, and even Professor Snape was a bit surprised by your sudden improvement. He wasn’t easy to fool, but you did, and it felt so good. With great power, comes great responsibility, so you promised yourself and your intelligence, to only use the infamous Snap n’ gold in cases of emergency, an emergency being a test you knew you had no chance of even reaching a Poor grade. So, while you tempted your golden luck by accidentally leaving the quill on your desk after a test done by none other than Remus Lupin, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor; You were so confident by always getting away with it, that this time, you even let yourself tease the possibility of being caught, enjoying the danger.

A few days later, relaxing at the castle grounds, being one of the many carefree students who didn’t have to worry about your grade, a sudden tap on your shoulder made you jolt on the stone bench. Turning around, your eyes met a set of amber eyes that belonged to the only man capable to decipher the lies within your worst subjects. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt your weekend.” Professor Lupin could interrupt you in your sleep and you wouldn’t even be bothered, but this time, the look in his eyes could only mean one thing. “But I’m afraid we need to discuss something in my office.”

You were in deep, deep trouble.

The walk to his classroom and therefore to his private office was the longest and most torturous walk you had ever experienced in your seven years of school. Heart pounding wildly inside your chest, hands sweaty, feeling about to throw up the elves' spaghetti you victoriously devoured that afternoon. Taking a seat in front of his desk, you gulped when you saw a familiar parchment on top of his desk, your test.

“I’ll be straightforward, I don’t want to take more of your time than necessary.” Professor Remus cleared his throat and handed you his kindest smile, which didn’t soothe your nerves at all. “Your test was the highest of your group, perhaps from your whole generation, darling.”

Oh.

“Professor McGonagall is pleased, as you can imagine, she cherishes you quite fondly. She asked me to offer you to compete in a national DADA debate club, of course, with your learning you would be a great factor in the team, you seem to have a vast knowledge of dark creatures.” He did in fact notice how washed out your expression was as if he was speaking another language. “So, what do you say? Feel free to take your time.”

“I—” The words were struggling, a lot. “I—I’m honoured, Professor. Is j—just that… um.I” 

Come on, come on! Think about something, quick!. You screamed at yourself, desperate. 

“I’m not very good at competitions, S—Sir. I would really like to participate, but if I’m being honest, I’m not that skilled in the subject and—.”

“That’s nonsense! Darling.” Lupin tapped your test, still smiling. “You wrote things I am yet to teach you! To me, that means you’re gifted.”

The debate inside your head was between good and bad, you could A): Tell him the truth, beg for forgiveness, accept 100 detentions with Hagrid at the Forbidden forest just to not be expelled, or B): Keep the act, play it cool, accept his offer and fail at trying to help on a topic you had no clue of.

“Is everything alright?” Professor Lupin looked at you, rather worried. “If you need to take your space and time to think about it, is fine. As long as you are truthful and honest with your decision.”

He knew. The bastard knew. And he was playing with you.

“Fuck.” You muttered under your breath, completely and utterly caged, cornered, trapped. 

“What was that?” He asked, lifting an eyebrow, expectant.

“Icheatedonthetest” You muttered as quickly as you could, grinding your teeth in embarrassment. 

“Pardon?”

“I. Cheated. On. The. Test.” Lowering your gaze, you sighed, feeling ashamed of yourself. 

“See, that wasn’t that hard.” Lupin laughed. Something that replaced your embarrassment with confusion. “You were very smart, almost fooled me. But the second you mentioned how you used it on every test, well, let’s say it caught my attention. I noticed it was slightly smaller than average, and the second I touched it, I knew.” How couldn’t he? The man who, unbeknownst to you, made a similar spell just for a map that could trace every single soul in the castle and its surroundings. 

“I’m sorry, if you’re going to accuse me with Professor McGonagall then I deserve it.” The tears appeared fast, making him frown.

“I’m not going to, darling.” From his desk, he handed you some tissues. “I know is against the rules, but it is such a clever and unique spell, you should be recognized for the effort and dedication, even if it was for the wrong reasons.” Biting your lips, you swore not to throw Fred and George under the bus, they already had a list so long that it could fill the entire great hall, and you didn’t want to contribute to that list. “At least not me, personally. You’re going to McGonagall's office, explain to her you cheated on the test, she would instantly disqualify you from the list and, you will be forfeited and banned from every other competition there is in what’s left of your school year, you will not mention the quill, of course, just say something banal, perhaps some notes you stuck on your desk, a common muggle thing. I’m sure she will give detention, and perhaps a few house points will be deducted, but—”

“Is either that or being expelled.” You finished his sentence, earning a nod on his part.

“Clever girl.” He smiled, again, this time it felt genuine. 

Why did he have to look so handsome when he smiled?

It was now or never. It was a foul move, for sure. But perhaps it was your only choice.

“Professor.” You gained all of the courage you had, battering your eyelashes at him. “Is there another way I could make my punishment less… severe?”

As if you weren't dying to try it.

His smirk completely changed into a quizzical look, weighing your words, your voice, and your actions. “What are you suggesting, dear, is there something in your mind?”

Standing up, ignoring the way your legs trembled in nervousness (and anticipation), you stood next to him, shivering at how he turned his chair to face you, manspreading and looking directly into your eyes, an unspoken question lingering in the thick air. Under his penetrative gaze, you kneeled in front of him, resting the palm of your hands on his knees. “Are you sure of this?” He asks, placing a hand on your cheek, thumb caressing the warm skin. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” The confident look in your eyes made him smile once again, but that particular smile— had you throbbing. 

“Go on, then.” 

Your hands reached for his belt, unbuckling it and undoing the buttons and zipper of his trousers, Professor Lupin helped you by lifting his hips from the chair so you could slip them off to his thighs, and you felt excited at the growing bulge in between his legs. You would be lying if you didn’t dream about this often, often than intended. But having the real thing right in front of you, was something else. 

And it sure was something else. He was bigger than you could even imagine, slightly curved and your eyes travelled along the veins of his now hard cock, he enjoyed you staring, even feeling a bit flattered by it. “I thought you wanted to make your punishment less severe, darling.” The pet name rolled down his lips in a way that only fueled your lust. You wanted him and you wanted him now. Tracing that large vein with your tongue, your stomach flipped at the groan that escaped his lips. Wasting no time, you eased him into your mouth, slowly at first, trying and succeeding at making him feel good, taking your sweet time to adjust at his length and girth, and Remus as the gentleman he was, waited until you were sliding inch after inch inside your pretty mouth. 

His hand was pressed over your head, encouraging you to keep going, to take him deeper, but never pushing you all the way in. He fought against the moans that threatened the silence of his office, the door was unlocked but that made the whole thing even better. His hips rolled upwards, eager to feel more of your warm tongue all around him. You hummed in pleasure, feeling your own arousal pooling between your legs, wondering if it would feel as good as he did on your mouth. You were almost this close to deepthroating him, taking it as a personal challenge, when he pushed you away gently by cupping your face. 

“Get on the desk, and spread your legs.” His voice allowed no disobedience, and Godric did it made you a little bit wetter. Following his command in an instant, you thanked the Gods for wearing a skirt that day, it was your favourite one, not long enough to be a prude but not short enough to break any uniform dressing code, and when his large hands slid the fabric, exposing your drowned underwear, you were so happy to be wearing a skirt. “Hmm.” He approved your squirming form, pressing his finger against your clothed mound, making you jolt. “Perhaps we can negotiate your punishment after all.”

Once your damped underwear was hanging loosely over your ankle, Professor Lupin traced a finger across your fold, gathering the slick and spreading it across your cunt, quickly finding your clit and circling it softly, steady, knowing exactly how to make you gasp and twitch. His fingers compared to yours were like comparing… fuck, you couldn’t think about a proper comparison, being too spellbound by the stretching feeling of two fingers scissoring your tight cunt, preparing you for him.

“Can’t believe my golden student cheated on a test.” He whispered in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine, another curl, another moan. “I thought you were so smart, sweetheart, perhaps you’re nothing more than a loser.” Oh, the words, did they make you clench around his fingers. “Hmmm, that’s it, good girl. I’m sure you had this all planned, waiting for the perfect moment to offer me that slutty mouth of yours.”

“P—Please, Professor.” You gasped when a third finger intimidated your entrance, it burned so deliciously. 

“Tell me, bunny.” He cooed, making your head feel dizzy, clouded in pleasure. “What do you want?” Not removing his fingers, he pumped himself a few times, ready to line up with your leaking entrance.

“You, inside m—me, please.” The loss of contact and stimulation made you whine, though the instant you felt the swollen tip of his cock teasing your folds, you spread your legs a little bit more and whined a little bit louder. “Please, l—let me cum over your cock, Remus.”

You were definitely something else as well, and he couldn’t deny how much (despite the guilt and self hatre) he longed for this. The risk of getting caught doing something so prohibited was the experience of a lifetime. Just like it was to be welcomed by the pulsating feeling of your lovely thigh cunt squeezing him beyond imaginable. Remus was in heaven.

“F—Fuck.” He bottomed for a moment, his hands on your hips, carefully sliding in. “So tight, so warm, such a pretty pussy, perfect for a bratty student like you.” The combination of words and movements had you in that state of dizziness,  wrapping your legs around his hips, pushing him until he was balls deep, both of you moaning at the pleasant feeling. “You want me to move? Baby?” He asked, kissing your neck, you nodded earning you a bite on your neck. “Words, darling.”

“Please move R—Remus, I want to feel you using me.” Magic words. Soon you were drooling, eyes rolling at the back of your skull, not even remembering when he rolled up your shirt and bra and started licking and nipping at your adorable tits, making you almost scream in delight. 

With every snap of his hips, you were closer and closer, and then it hit you, like a giant and crashing wave, your body pulsated and clenched around him, almost possessively. Remus groaned at the feeling, so he kept pounding. “Where do you want me? Bunny.” He inquired, hoarsely, biting his lip and kissing your breast, trying to hold himself until you spoke.

After a few tries and a few incoherences being babbled, you managed to look at him and cupped his face with shaky hands, the most life-changing orgasm still possessing your body. “I—Inside me, please.”

“You sure?” And this time you breathed a tired yes and it was the end of him.

Being filled to the brim by your favourite professor was a new feeling you were now addicted to.

Helping you get dressed, sitting you on his lap, kissing your face, complimenting the way you took him so well, like such a good girl. You finally returned to a normal state of mind, legs still sore but with a stupid lovesick smirk, he had never seen in a person. Before leaving his classroom, you felt how his cum rolled down your thigh, making you bite your lip, turning back to see how he was tucking your white underwear into one of his drawers. “Go to Minnie’s office, loser, I’ll be waiting for you here after dinner.” Blowing him a kiss, you giggled.

Maybe being a loser wasn’t that bad

Sorry for any mistakes! English is not my first language. I appreciate any feedback!˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

[hubrisbracket]

Hubris Bracket Side A Poll 8: Emperor Belos/Phillip Wittebane (The Owl House) vs Jonah Magnus/Elias Bouchard (The Magnus Archives)

Propaganda below (contains spoilers)

Emperor Belos/Phillip Wittebane

A lot of Phillip's character has to do with his pride. He believes he is greater than the witches and demons of the boiling isle. He views himself as a savoir and god-like figure and in the end it gets him killed.

to quote a textpost i have saved (credit @/vyvilha and @/vivid-bluez): "emperor belos is literally one of the most characters ever. like. you don't get it. he's a 400 years old puritan. he is the most powerful witch that ever lived. he's a Creature. he thinks of himself as a savior of humanity. he killed 50 children. he possesed the body of God. he bit a person with his bare teeth. once he got hit by a car. his name is philip and he's from connecticut" "He died by getting curb stomped by two middle aged gay people and the son of a god."

Jonah Magnus/Elias Bouchard

This man found out about the Fears, spent a good amount of time researching and studying them, started to follow the Eye and was told by literally all of his peers to FUCKING STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING and still decided to become immortal by implanting his eyes into other people. Then he saw how every ritual was failing and went "ok yeah but I can do it better" and then played the long game for 200 years and then actually succeeded in bringing about the apocalypse. Only to essentially be completely taken over by the Eye leaving him completely powerless in himself and unaware of what was going on and either not realize or realize too late that the entire time he was being manipulated by the Web.

Bastard. Rat man. Loser

[simpcityy]

My Little Spawn "Preview" (Dadstarion X Child!Reader)

Here is a little preview of the works, I hope you like it and please like, reblog, let others know. Thank you.

Everything was dark and blurry in his eyes. All he remembers was stalking in the shadows looking for his next prey and suddenly he was kidnapped. He felt mixed emotions, fear but importantly joy, he was finally away from Cazador. It would be like he suddenly disappeared in thin air and Cazador will need him no more. Until he was stuck with another burden, You. “Would you keep quiet, dammit!?” He whispered rather loudly. You stopped shifting around the tall grass and peaked out of it. “I’m sorry” You whispered before going back to hiding. He looked over seeing two people walking by, “Perfect” He mutters and gets ready to put on his performance.  

  After almost getting incinerated, you and Astarion have found a group and camp for the remainder of the period till the little wiggly worm is out of your mind but of course, you wouldn’t comprehend, for you were so young. 

“Who’s the little adorable bugger?” Gale smiles letting you try to read the books he has found so far. “For the record this annoying little sp-human is not mine, they just seem to be attached to me.” Astarion watches you trying to pronounce the big words only to butcher them. “But it’s getting rather late and I hate to deal with a cranky annoying child tomorrow.” He picked you up keeping his arms outstretched and walked to his tent. Once everyone was out of earshot, he squats at your height. “Listen here, you must not tell anyone what we are understood?” His red eyes look down at your innocent (E/C) ones. “But why not?” You sat on top of the pillow looking up at Astarion seeing him take a deep breath in. Of course, Astarion knows he has to make it simple. “Because we are playing a game” He grins “ We are all hiding our identity. You and I are a team and the rest are a team. Whoever is the first one to discover their real identity, is the sore loser.” He gives a smile sitting down next to you. You pouted, your cheeks puffed up “We will win, okay! I won’t tell.” You lean back before yawning “ If they ask what do I say?” You cute little doe eyes look at him tiredly. “Hmm…we are just normal elves got it?” He looks away in deep thought, “it’s for the best for now” He mutters before leaning back “ You know for a being the youngest Spawn he created…you still need rest like a human, you are such an odd little spawn” He gently plays with the ends of your hair “ Why did he even turn you?” He whispers as you slowly slip into sleep. “What use does he even have for you?” He kept asking himself all the questions ever since you were part of the “Family” 

You were the youngest spawn Cazador has ever gotten. You were only 5 soon turning 6. Astarion was first shocked to see Cazador holding you in his arms when he came back from bringing a pretty prey for his master. He never dared question, he kept all his unanswered questions to himself. Astarion felt anger towards you both. Why was Cazador more tender with you, not treating you like he does to his other spawns. Why did you get the special treatment? He was mostly angry towards Cazador as always, why did he turn you, you didn’t even reach your half way milestone of your life. You were going to stay that age and size forever.  He has been treated like shit for 200 years but you, you would never experience the things a child should be, the things teenerages and young adults go through. Once again Cazador has robbed you of your life just how Astarion was robbed of his.

[dedahblog]

Ichigo and Rukia in Memories in The Rain are two frustrating idiots

You just can't take them seriously.

For the first time, since his mother's death, Ichigo forgot about the upcoming anniversarry of his ultimate trauma.

You can pretty much guess by that simple fact how meeting Rukia brought joy to his life and "changed his world"

When she asked him why he became sad, he answered "nothing " and he could had stopped there. However, this is drama queen Ichigo we're talking about.

He had to add loudly "I see ... it's soon " keeping the suspense for Rukia (and us). He made her aware that something was indeed wrong.

Basically, "I'm acting as If I'm shutting myself off from you but not really I want you to know that something is really bothering me"

....

let's move on

Then later, Ichigo could have stopped at just informing Rukia what it was the anniversary of his mother's death but he had to add that she was killed dramatically under the moonlight.

Ichigo basically gave Rukia the greenlight to talk about his personal life. But when she pushed her luck and wanted to know more, he denied everything.

...

Local tsundere teen sending mixed signals to 200 year old emotionally constipated clueless as hell ghost.

Wonder what will happen

She was so worried that she eavesdropped on Tatsuki and Orihim's little chat at class. A behaviour that was totally unusual coming from her.

She couldn't hold back her worry when Ichigo told her he was taking his shinigami job off. She even revealed she had been stalking watching him all day long.

However, when Ichigo asked her, why she followed him to the cemetery, she said she was only there for her shinigami duties ...

Of course it is, why would anyone think of any other reason ...

Then Rukia came out as insensitive telling him maybe a hollow killed her.

Ichigo was pissed off mostly (I think) out of frustration that people were finding excuses instead of blaming him.

Their conversations ended shortly on a tense conclusion : Ichigo saw the girl he wanted to save the day the mother died, fell on his knees baring his heart to Rukia admitting his sin

When you think about it, there is no reason for Ichigo not to avoid talking to Rukia after so much tension, yet...

He slightly smiled greeting her and genuinely asked her if she wanted to continue where they left off

This proves something extremely important which is how lonely Ichigo was and how much he was yearning for someone to support him mentally

and he chose that person to be Rukia....

....

...

The person he met one month ago !!!

over any one of his friends, classmates family members. ??

(what's wrong with him ?!!)

And his prediction were correct

Rukia who knows about loneliness more than anyone. She tried to try to help Ichigo the best she could.

However, she could only offer him what she herself yearned for the most : not be alone

They both longed for someone they can trust and who won't give up on them.

Ichigo didn't feel surprised by her thoughtful words. It was like he was expecting her to say what he needed the most despite her previous bluntness

When Rukia promised she will be there for him as long as it takes, all Ichigo said was "yeah"...

Kubo being Kubo knows what he's doing, knows how those loser are being soft for each other and will die before admitting it

He basically self inserted himself/ the readers in Kon's place " stop acting so cool. I can't keep up with you guys!"

Remember when kubo was enjoying himself creating this manga and slandering Rukia and Ichigo ? Good times good times

I guess panels speak for themselves.

Rukia was begging Ichigo to stay alive, screaming at him to stop fighting, being so happy he survived and used all what remained of her power to heal him.

Yet when he thanked her for healing him, she acted as if it was nothing...

Last round,

it turns out Ichigo is the honest one between the two

Ichigo told Rukia he had to go and eventually had an emotional conversation with his father where he confessed his frustrations

Yet he isn't even bothered that Rukia was listening (without his consent )to his private talk.

That's because he wants her to be there

When Rukia offered to be there for him, he really embraced that offer. He wants her to know about every messed up part of him because he knows she would never give up on him.

...

..

Also I guess he doesn't mind Rukia being a shameless stalker

( that was the second time you're stalking him the same day Rukia wth !! At least be more subtle or feel a bit ashamed)

[stackslip]

so where's asa in the chainsaw man wrestling au?

well she started as a fan who was never happy about anything and went to every match and ppv while bitching online and being a sharp critic who was never happy and calls everyone out of shape and says they're pushed underservedly

she has a blog where she writes most of her itemized criticism and ranks matches and everyone agrees she has shitty taste and her fictional booking fucking sucks and she gets into arguments in the comments of her blog

she also laments that kayfabe is broken and wishes wrestlers were still larping 24/7 but they aren't, so she considers them all posers.

until someone says "if you're so unhappy why don't you train to be a wrestler herself" and she says FINE

and gets rejected by ten consecutive trainers (three of which hateread her blog, one of whom was quanxi who just looked her up and down and huffed "no chance, sweetheart")

and then out of nowhere she gets offered to be trained at the main wrestling promotion run by makima. gets a letter with a full paid ride and all. she brags about it EXTENSIVELY on her blog

she is deeply unpopular at the training center and is not athletic at all and refuses all aid

but she is stubborn as fucking hell and puts herself through a strict regiment for like three weeks before considering she sucks, she's awful, she should drop out and crawl and die somewhere, delete her blog and change her name

but she gets encouragement...... from a mysterious middle manager (asa thinks it's a middle manager, she hasn't even bothered to look up who owns the promotion and they tend to stay out of spotlight anyway) who keeps leaving nice comments on her blog and giving her advice that doesn't sound like advice and thus lets asa's pride assimilate it without feeling like she's indebted to someone and a burden or anything. she gets a bit better. not great in the ring but ok. solid even. she'll be a jobber but you know. it's ok

her first televised match she gets booked like shit but wants to die, until mysterious redhead tells her she did very good and the praise kink part of asa's brain activates so so hard for this woman.

it double activates when the stupid loser she's been bitching about how overrated his indie career has been for years (denji) gives her a thumbs up and said it was a great debut and she accidentally falls in love and immediately reconfigures her brain to consider him the best wrestler who ever lived bc he was nice to her from a distance one time

asa at first gets very tepid reception. then she starts getting go-away heat every time she steps inside an arena. redhead middle manager tells her she has a bright future as a heel and asa 200% believes it

her promo skills are absolutely atrocious. she monologues tonelessly without moving or taking the crowd into account about latest comments on her blog and thinks it's working bc the crowd is working itself into an apoplectic rage as her time goes on and she starts eating into others' matches. she has to be pried off the ring and then goes apeshit at anybody touching her during these times

online is divided. they cannot tell if she really is that bad but a small and growing faction is beginning to argue that she is really a wrestling storytelling genius and has always been a wrestler who has been doing a slowburn storyline for five years now and using the blog as a way to build heat and the two camps fight each other viciously

asa thinks she should be the main event of the ppv and then the next day is drafting her resignation letter and planning on throwing herself off a bridge. only to get a single element of praise and again believing she is the next wrestling god. and then a tiny bit gets to her and she is once again about to walk off into the wilderness never to be seen again.

her online fanclub is so divided and has started making conspiracy theories tying her to indie star chainsaw man who's now supposedly wrestling in this main promo but nobody believes it's actually denji bc denji's a loser and chainsaw man ruled too hard. they're like gaylors but it's about asa playing 5d chess at being the world's greatest wrestler. they're a small fanclub but have doxxed people before and are VERY vocal. there are multiple youtube deep dives on them and on her that call her mid. asa does not know they exist bc if she did she'd resign and die that day.

[weebsinstash]

Wait hold on when did I threaten you anywhere? I just wanted to talk is all I wasn't going to harm you in any way nor did I say i was. I never sent you any threats. If you think i threatened you, you made that up in your own head. If you wanted me to go away and not come back you should have just said so? It's not really harassment if you never told me not to come and I didn't knock on your door to bother you. I just waited outside and you never told me to go away or that you didn't want me there. I have never ever sent you a physical threat. Idk what 'evidence' you're talking about but I never broke the law anywhere in this situation. Your address is publicly available information btw

I think there's actually a legal precedent for me to tell you to go fuck yourself and leave me alone at least one last time before i officially press charges

But

I've told you multiple times to leave me alone and I literally have DMs of the multiple, countless accounts you have contacted me on after being told to leave me alone. I even keep turning off anon asks so that you would have to create accounts so that every ask and instance of harassment can be directly linked back to you and you have created HUNDREDS of accounts like a total loser, literally everyone has no idea why you're still doing this, we just started assuming you were deeply mentally ill and becoming concerned

First off we both know you weren't outside, you most likely don't even know how to drive or can afford your own gas, but you still threatened being outside a previous address and have threatened to come and see me multiple times and that's still very much a threat, very much illegal in the context of your actions

"Public information?" You don't even know how these topics work. You found an old post on an old blog from years ago, a PayPal link containing ONLY my full name which beyond that one post on a completely separate blog was never posted elsewhere, which you then started sending my full name around to strangers attaching it to both my blogs where it was not public, you've reuploaded my pictures to other websites, made other accounts using my face and name, and then you proceeded to make a public records request using that name and then MESSAGED OTHER PEOPLE AND MADE POSTS WITH AN OLD ADDRESS AND MY FAMILY MEMBERS' NAMES and then you have the nerve to fuck around and send an ask that you're outside what you genuinely believe is my current fucking home?

It would literally be quicker for me to tell you the things you did that DIDN'T break the law you dumbass fucking teenager. alleged teenager anyways; to be blunt the reason i only still believe you're young is because you're quite frankly a fucking idiot with no life experience and it shows. I literally still have screenshots of the last time you made a fake dating profile with my stolen picture, which, you're also reuploading my family member's pictures which is also fucking illegal

I also want to point out

EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORON

"We're not even in the same state, you can't get me arrested, publicly spreading your private information on a public platform against your consent isn't illegal" oh my god you should have died in the womb, the cope is always turned up to 200 with you, do you take a medication for that. I'm literally fucking baiting you into deeper incriminating yourself and you are so far up your own ass you think I'm just falling for your pointless rage bait. I've literally told you multiple times that you could literally just Google how you reuploading my photos and even slightly implying you're me is a crime and then you're doing that on dating sites which has undertones of sexual violence and now your cringe ass is trying to use IP grabber links as if you didn't literally tell me how many miles away you were and that's kind of all I need

You've already threatened me. I've already told you to leave me the fuck alone. You literally impersonated multiple people and were still told to leave me alone. Even when you deactivate these accounts, these asks still sit in my inbox, the DMs of you admitting you broke the law are still easily accessible to me, the screenshots still in my phone, the records in tumblr's databases leading back to your registration email, so on so forth. You also keep harassing other people. Countless other people are fucking tired of this. Since I DO know what's legal to outright say to you I won't say what I'm sure many of us are thinking but, small dogs bark the loudest, and also, you're a coward, and a raging misogynist, and I pity the relationship you must have with your family that you spent your Christmas thinking about me

Fuck off and also eat your own shit and apologize to your parents and also take up staring into the sun as a hobby