#2017 was truly a YEAR for me like two of my all time faves

[alliluyevas]

2017, 1963

2017: inside of you there are two wolves. one of them is beast (2017) and the other one is the death of stalin (2017). i really am not sure i can crown a winner here. they're such different movies but they both HIT.

1963: it simply must be cleopatra. original taylorburton moments.

[formulatrash]

top 5 seasons in any motorsport?

nothing makes me madder than when I craft a good reply and tumblr eats it!!!! don’t make me redraft you chaos vortex of a half-baked gif workshop, how dare you force me to “improve” my “””writing””” I will deliberately make it much worse.

anyway, this was a good question! whoops under a cut to save your dashes

5. Season 4, Formula E

ok this... it might not actually have been that great a season. and you’ll never know now because the races aren’t on YouTube!!! but like, indulge me here: it was my season and I managed to not think about Sam Bird or his title chances so much, so hard, over so many races that it was him and JEV in contention at the end of it all. my horrible faves!* and it was the end of Gen1 which surely meant something. and there was so much comedy drama! Daniel’s win getting cancelled, then him taking Audi’s first win for a second time and them being pure mad about it because they’d wanted to bin him off for Rene Rast only Lucas had thrown a shitfit and then there he was completely justifying his place on the team!! (I don’t think the direct Audi team thought this but there were corporate machinations) and the absolutely dogshit Andretti car which, my word, you had to feel sorry for Antonio dragging around week after week but which had some truly comedy failures. and Alex Lynn!!!!! all season!!! that wouldn’t happen again until season ruddy seven ffs. shame the car sucked. anyway, good year, good year. we all assume hurling ourselves into the unknown from a relatively secure and financially lucrative corporate position will be rewarded by seeing our faves and perhaps the driver we most horrifically project onto rewarded and it worked!!!! 

4. 2020 Formula 1 season

no I know this is a weird choice but I... really liked the 2020 season. it was so weird, obviously and quiet but that somehow. felt right. like there was something changing somewhere, like there was time to think. I don’t really like the glitzy grift side of F1, can’t have an annual Celebrity Interview Discourse Month if you’ve got no celebs can ya and also this was the most reasonable-length season for ages. maybe I simply think of it fondly because FE dropped the ball so chronically in 2020 and also that there was that big, long dark period of nothing so having something at all felt like a lifeline but. Lewis quietly winning the title in Turkey might be my favourite win of his. a little comfort championship after a terrible year.

3. 1997 Formula 1 season

I know what you are about to say!!! unless it’s ‘fuck off grandma’ in which case, yeah, fair. but yes I know I should like the 1996 season more but - and this is the only time in which I will allow this - 1997 was the banter timeline. Jacques Villeneuve won but honestly, that’s totally immaterial to whatever the hell was going on with everyone this year. hardly anyone could finish a race 

also I was, like, 11. so. also this was the year when Hungary just decided to commit violence when Damon dragged that piece of shit Arrows to the second row in qualifying and then!!! the lead!!!! and it shat itself in the final laps like the miserable little hangover of an F1 it was. I have been well set up for disappointment ever since. 

2. 2017 World Endurance Championship 

flipped around a bit on this but actually yeah. yeah!!!! this was the last year of there being two competitive hybrid LMP1 teams (Porsche and Toyota) and without Audi making everyone look like total idiots it was suddenly a genuinely big old battle. and at the same time, LMP2 got really competitive, which it always had been but maybe it was just it was getting more air time at last. and there was actually a proper LMGT pro field with more than one make! ah, heady times. also Le Mans that year was this made dustball of swirling heat and every LMP1 retired in the space of 15 minutes at like 3am while I’d lain down in a bit of warm dirt by the side of the Dunlop curves and then the one Porsche did qualifying laps for the entire rest of the race to get back to the front. Jota nearly won it outright! ok, WEC is allowed to be banter. that is basically what it’s for. 

1. 2000 World Rally Championship 

listen, someone needs to let me write the simmeringly homoerotic screenplay (Rush-style) about Colin McCrae and Carlos Sainz Snr. these fucks couldn’t stand each other at all! and even worse, the idea anyone else might be their closest rival or team mate. intolerable. 2000 was when they met back up at Ford after a few years of pretending they could ever despise other people as much as each other and it was also a real classic of a fight. Sainz and McCrae ended up scrapping for third while Gronholm and Burns ran away with it and perhaps it was that, the title out of the window, that made this one of their most tender and terrible years. the Ford sucked and they both knew they were better than it, united in disgust for the car and each other. weep.

*’horrible’ and ‘fave’ here being used as a) hyperbolic way of expressing I love them and admire them, b) obviously all of them are my faves. well, apart from that one. faves is an evolving concept that encompasses all my terrible (see point a) sons (see point b)

[aotopmha]

The Shadow Generations addition to Sonic Generations frustrates me because it does the thing Sonic Superstars did and feels way too overpriced for what it is going for.

Part of the reason I've yet to play Superstars is because everywhere I look, it's still priced at full and as far as I know they've done nothing to iron out the frustrating and inconsistent aspects of the game.

Doesn't help the Sonic re-releases have been absolute messes, from Origins to Sonic Colors.

Currently I see plain Sonic Generations sold for half (or in fact less) of current full game price and I think that's the perfect price for that game, but Shadow Generations + the original game is once again (almost) full price.

The footage they've shown of the Shadow gameplay is great, but will it be worth that (almost) full game price?

Frontiers has some cool stuff going for it, but it also had so much mess in it.

And yes, that's the entire history of 3D Sonic. But it's the wierd sll-encompassing messiness of the recent releases that gets me.

Inconsistent music, odd graphics, as well as massive amounts of bugs. As frustrating as Sonic Heroes was with its controls and bugs, it wasn't inconsistent in terms of literally everything else as well, so I could enjoy a bunch of it despite the issues I had with the game.

They make new games that are messes and old, cool games worse.

And I think it's finally getting to me as a fan after all of these years.

The last 3D Sonic game I truly loved and absolutely played to pieces was Generations.

And the last 2D game I loved and played a bunch was Sonic Mania.

The two each released in 2011 and 2017, 13 and 7 years ago respectively.

And since then every Sonic game has either looked like a hyper-product-y/hyper-inconsistent mess (Forces, Lost World, Colors Ultimate, Origins) or something potentially super neat buried in massive amounts of frustrating gunk with also pretty product-y elements and massive inconsistency (Frontiers/Superstars).

So I'm left waiting for Frontiers 2 or Superstars 2 because they finally seem to be somewhat serious about having another formula and refining it, as they promised with Sonic Unleashed back in 2008 and now after Forces in 2017, with Frontiers being the first step.

There are other ways to get games, of course, and considering those ways, I would probably have a decent time with the latter two (Frontiers/Superstars), but I just want a game that's just good (not even great) all the way through.

Or at least looks that way for me to want to try it based on footage and reviews.

And Shadow Generations actually does look like that!

Just building upon boost formula while incorporating lessons from new games.

But it's also another one among the (almost) full price re-releases/remasters, which at this point have an absolutely horrendous history in terms of actual quality.

Maybe, just maybe the movies doing great and Frontiers doing well enough will finally show itself in the quality of the games themselves.

I've technically been a passive fan since I got into the series with the Advance, Classic and Rush series and from there loved the Adventure games + Heroes.

And then the boost games – Colors and Generations.

But I just want something solid like that again that might even have sometimes very frustrating issues, but was a complete, consistent package.

And right now, the recent history is just really bad, in fact, it's bad to the point where people are amazed when we get actual level design from levels and I feel like that's not a very good place to be for a platforming game series.

Shadow as a character has always been that "teenage uncool" kind of "cool", but still kind of fun edgy character that I can see 13-year-olds absolutely loving, but I at most just kind of liked like any other character, while my faves back then were always Sonic, Amy and Tails, with Knuckles as the fun fourth friend.

But I think Adventure 2 did what Shadow's character was going for really well and Shadow 05 did that same thing really badly; in this case, though, Shadow is really just used to make more boost levels in Generations, which I welcome.

Loved actually playing Shadow in Sonic Adventure 2 because it was just more speed levels. I must've played those levels hundreds if not thousands of times because I had so much fun with them.

And that's basically all of Generations except maybe the last level.

So if they just make some really solid additional Generations levels, that's all it takes for this to be good.

But as said above, this is a Sonic game remaster being made in 2024, so there's a pretty big chance it's a massive mess on all fronts.

But I'll wait for lower prices and sales and hope for the best.

[coupsnim]

Hi Izzie, it's me your secret carat again! sorry it took so long to send another ask Hope you've had a lovely week and will have a great weekend :)

I'm still a baby carat so it's always nice to meet more veteran fans! I personally knew about them since their debut because my friends really liked them and casually listened to them for years. Didn't properly get into them until pretty recently tho but I'm glad I'm finally here! Better late then never, right? 😂

I won't name any specific members cuz that will more than likely give away my identity lol But the member who originally caught my attention are now pretty low on my bias list and my biases were ones I never expected to bias one of them exactly my type tho i just like to be in denial sdklfjgdfsg

As for fave titles tracks, I think we have the exact same ones! For bsides I absolutely love Shadow, Anyone, Flower, ODIHTD, and I Don't Know. And so many more tbh, their discography is truly amazing <333

Some new questions: How did you get into making content? Do you prefer making gifs, grfx, or art more? What are some of your favourite Seventeen concepts and what's one you would love for them to try?

hiii 🧡

noo please don't be sorry! I appreciate you took the time to write to me 😊

my week was okay but I was out all weekend and didn't have time to reply, sorry about that! hope you had a great weekend as well

I love all the songs you mentioned as well! totally biased opinion, but I think seventeen has one of the best discographies in kpop. there are maybe one or two songs that I usually skip but other than that I love all of them ahah

I think I first started making gifs around 2011-2012? I joined tumblr because of doctor who and saw a tutorial on how to make gifs - I tried it out and it was quite fun, so when I rejoined tumblr around 2017 and created a kpop blog I started making gifs again first for groups like shinee and wonder girls and then for seventeen too. however, I only started creating gfxs after I made this blog, I saw so many great creations of other carats and was inspired to make my own 😊 my dad is a graphic designer and he taught me how to use photoshop a long time ago but I mostly used it for photo editing ahah

I love making gfx, way more than making gifs, but it's been a while since I posted something here because I feel that nothing looks good ahah I have lost my touch, I believe. I do have the urge to delete everything I made each time I go on my gfx tag ahah

I love drawing too, but it's also quite dangerous for me because once I start a new project I can't stop until I'm done ahah and since I I can't take time off of work to draw, I usually only do it when I'm on holiday

my favourite seventeen concept? fallin' flower and home;run, probably. everything about fallin' flower is perfect, the song, the choreo and the whole vibe of the mv, but I also liked the theme for the home;run mv, it was fun and so seventeen (if that makes sense?). I'm just sad that they didn't reflect it in the album design too 😔

honestly they already fulfilled my every wish with fallin' flower when it comes to concepts, so it's hard for me to answer this question. however, I really liked the concept for their photobook 'social club' so maybe something similar would be cool? or maybe something inspired by a noir movie?

what about you? 😊

this reply turned out so long, I'm so sorry ahah hope you have a great day!

[senshidaily]

are there multiple sere myus? ive never seen any sailor moon stage shows and id live to see them! is there a viewing order? where can i watch them?

Hello, anon! There are at this point over 30 myus!!! They started in 1993 and continued until 2005, when they went on hiatus until 2013 and since then we've gotten one a year except for covid in 2020. This year instead of a regular stageplay, we're getting some sort of concert in November.

As for viewing order, it depends on what you like about Sailor Moon! The old myus are based heavily in the 90s anime for their plot and characterizations. I'm not a fan of the 90s anime, so aside from some of the music which can be truly incredible, I personally don't like those much. The costumes are also very much of the era and not to my taste, lol. If you ARE a fan of the 90s anime, then starting with the 1993 isn't a bad idea. There are four girls who played Usagi in old myu, Anza was the first, and she's still the most popular and I think the longest-running Usagi from 1993-1998. Following her was Fumina, my personal least favorite Usagi, for 2 years, then Miyuki for several years, who I am about as fond of as Anza. The last was Marina from 2001-2005, by far the youngest actress to play Usagi (I think she was only 13 when she started?), but she grew into the role. Old myu frequently did two plays a year with the second being a slight revision, which might have small changes or featuring an actor who would be leaving, stuff like that. You could pick any run from one of the main Usagi actresses as a place to start, Anza covered mostly the plot of the 90s anime, Fumina and Miyuki were more original stage plots, and Marina returned to more anime plots. I haven't watched any of the old myus in years, so this is all from memory, sorry!

Since my favorite verisons of Sailor Moon are the manga and pgsm and crystal, I personally absolutely LOVE new myu. Its characterizations and plots are much, much more true to the manga. And also, every single character is played by women in new myu, inspired by the Takarazuka Revue, an all-ladies theater company in Japan that Naoko herself is a big fan of and drew inspiration from while writing Sailor Moon, especially for Haruka and Michiru. Several actresses who were Takarazuka members went on to have roles in new myu. The 2013-2017 plays adapts all 5 arcs of the manga, so I would highly recommend starting there and watching all 5. Satomi plays Usagi from 2013-2015 and is my personal favorite Usagi, and together with her cast of senshi is my absolute favorite cast. Shiori as Venus and Yu as Jupiter in particular are some of my favorite casting. Tani/Yuuga is an actress from Takarazuka, and she played the most charismatic Mamoru you will ever see for all 5 years. Hotaru played Usagi with a new cast of inners for the last two years, and I'm STILL sad Satomi's cast was replaced, although Hotaru did a fine job. And they brought back Satomi to play Cosmos in the final one, which was a cool move.

If you'd rather dip your toes in with something shorter, there are three identical Nogizaka46 (a jpop idol goup) adaptations of the Dark Kingdom arc called Teams Star, Moon (both from 2018), and 2019. The script and music for all three are the same, but each one has a different cast of inners, although Mamoru and the villains keep the same actresses for all three. Mamoru is also played by the actress who was Sailor Pluto in the 2014-2018 plays, and she does a spectacular job. My personal favorite of those is Team Star for the team chemistry and because I really enjoyed Sayuri as Usagi, but they're all great. Mizuki as Usagi from Team Moon is a little flat for me, but because Minako is one of my all-time favorite characters, and Team Moon's Venus is tied for my fave Venus with Shiori from 2013-2015, it's still worth watching. 2019 had (a different) Shiori as Usagi and was also very good, and the team chemistry was great again, although overall I still prefer Star. Last year's myu was an adaptation of the manga side story about Kaguya Hime, which isn't a story I particularly enjoy, since the senshi mostly take a backseat in it, and I wasn't blown away by any of the casting or music. But if you're looking for another standalone entry into myu, its stage direction and costumes were great!

When Kaguya was running on stage, they offered tickets to watch the livestream with english subs for $20. Hopefully, they'll do the same for the concert this year. Buying the dvds/blurays from somewhere like cdjapan is another great way to support the franchise, but they don't have subs. Luckily, seaofserenity has subs of pretty much every myu available on their website, and missdream also has older myu, although they had to take down their new myu a few years back.

Anyway, this was very long, but hopefully will help you find a place to start with myu! It's a franchise I really love, and I hope you enjoy it!!

[fa-by]

official to get together with Ty. I mean, what?? Who does something like that if they were truly in love?// about this part technically they only became "official" publicly at that time because they never gave us an actual date as to when L and LV got together or even broke up and what makes it more confusing is that LV and L looked like they ended on good terms but then a few weeks later they unfollowed each other and LV was throwing shade at L and now they're not even friends.

Still here, not a hater nor a shipper Anon? I see that the first two times weren’t enough for you. Okay. Suit yourself.

“they never gave us an actual date as to when L and LV got together or even broke up”. Actually, we may not have specific day dates, but we do have dates to calculate everything.

As I’ve already explained, Lucy returned to Lauren’s life after she had a car accident on May 17, 2015:

“She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere and she called me”, and, according to their narrative, Lauren decided they would be together “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship” from that moment on. The last public interaction between the two of them occurred on January 12, 2017 with that post for Lucy’s birthday (which is actually Jan 11):

And by January 21, 2017, they had already broken up since they were at the same Women’s March but with other people. While Lauren ‘was still together with’ Lucy, Ty tweeted “LMJ” on January 4, 2017:

He canceled it right away, and on February 12, 2017, Tyren made their first appearance as a ‘couple’ at the Grammys after-party (picture posted by L two days later):

If you calculate from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017, it’s 1 year and 8 months. And of that year and 8 months, 2 months were public due to the wedding pictures.

Lauren was already with Ty after less than a month. In fact, if you want to calculate from January 21 to February 12, it’s only 9 days. So, as you can see, we have dates on which base ourselves.

“Um let’s be realistic this literally happens all the time in real life”. Oh yeah? To who? To those who weren’t really in love and didn’t care about their exes maybe, but not to those who claimed to have been in love with their best friend since adolescence. You continue to be contradictory, Anon. Even in your own thoughts. Because if you believe in the Laucy narrative, then you’re supposed to believe that Lauren was in love with Lucy for five years (from when she was 15 to when she was 20). And if you believe that, then how can you think she fell out of love with her in less than a month? How can you think that’s realistic? Do you really give your fave so little credit? As I’ve already said, I don’t know you, so either you’ve never been in love and that’s why you think it’s realistic, or you do give Laur so little credit for real.

I’m gonna copy and paste the entire piece that you copied incompletely now: “How can you have been in love with someone for so many years, broke up with them because they were a toxic person, and immediately get together with an even more toxic person without having the proper time to heal? Without taking the time for yourself to lick your wounds, grow up, be ready again to throw yourself out there, and eventually find a better person to be in a relationship with? How? Simple. Because they were both fake relationships. The timing they wanted to tell is not credible. None of what they’ve said is believable, and luckily, there’s also enough evidence to prove it so these are not opinions and theories”.

When you love someone, Anon, when you really love someone and you’re not with them anymore, you need time. You really need some time before you can move on. Less than a month is not enough to fall out of love after 5 years and start another relationship by declaring to be in love with this other person every five seconds. I really don’t understand how you can think it’s realistic, and most of all, I really don’t understand how you don’t see it was all fake.

“and who says Ty was a toxic person cause so far L has never said anything bad about him and he treated her right from what we have seen, also the fact that their ‘split’ was peaceful so how was he toxic for her?”. So, let me get this straight. Someone who thinks that ‘the women only serve to be in the kitchen’, that ‘the lesbians only are confused girls’, that:

and that he’s:

is not a toxic person? Someone who’s been in a gang (like his brother who’s still in jail) since he was a teenage boy and has a long list of felonies on his record for infractions, assaults, and possession of various drugs, isn’t toxic? Someone who lies about his age and is disrespectful in the lyrics in his songs and when he speaks in general with phrases in which he had no respect for either women or homosexuality, is not toxic? Someone for whom it’s normal to punch and kick another celebrity in the head just because he refused to leave and free for him the VIP room of a club he was occupying, is not toxic? Someone who wanted to make a blind woman move who was sitting behind him with her guide dog, claiming to be allergic to the fur that was making him sneeze, and despite the fact that the plane staff offered him another seat in the back, which he refused because ‘he had paid extra to be in the one he was sitting in’, and the blind woman even offered him an allergy pill, he refused AGAIN with the excuse that he ‘had to perform’ a few hours later at the Escapade Music Festival (the woman obviously had priority over her seat and wasn’t moved, so they all stayed in their seats in the end), is not toxic?

Are you for real?? Do you really think Lauren could actually have been with a person like that? Someone who represented exactly what she always despised? Do you really think so low of her? You say she’s your fave, but do you know her at all? Because you’re basically insulting her as a person and her intellect. When will you learn to distinguish reality from fiction? When are you gonna open your eyes? If Lauren were to tell you that Santa’s real, then you’d believe it just because the words came out of her mouth? Come on now! Just because she was forced to say that she loved him and how a good person he was, DOESN’T MAKE IT TRUE. Not to mention that we’ve witnessed several times how uncomfortable she was when they had to look intimate for pictures:

And how inappropriate he was:

https://youtu.be/g3D_FMHy4ho

Don’t you see how she tried to move his hand and how uncomfortable she was? And these are just two examples, but there are so many of them. Wake up and learn to recognize the distinction between script-following Laur and authentic Laur. I already told you this.

No, I’m the one who’s sorry here. Because as I said, you can’t distinguish when something is fake and when it’s real. I was there. You seem to have forgotten this. I saw every post, every picture, and every live they did together. They were together. They obviously couldn’t say it because Lucy ‘was together’ with Laur, but they were together. It wasn’t a serious relationship like the one with Nicole, but they still had something. They stayed together until February and then Lucy got together with Nicole in March.

---

I hope this can also answer your ask, dear Anon 😄 and hi to you too 👋🏼

---

Back to you, not a hater nor a shipper Anon. Keep blaming CS and believing every single thing your faves say if you want, but do yourself a favor: stop trying to change someone’s mind (with empty proofs) and try to convince them to think like you. It’s useless. As I already told you in that post: “You can come back here a hundred more times, but you won’t change my mind”. Just accept it. Just accept the fact that we think differently because we believe in different things. Follow the blogs that think like you if you want, create your own blog with your own opinions or whatever, but don’t go to CS ones like mine because you wouldn’t come out as a winner, as you could see all three times. It’s one thing to go to another blog to express your opinion, and another is to go there multiple times and insist on changing their minds. Unlike you, I don’t go bothering other blogs to convince them to believe in what I believe. In fact, if that’s why, I don’t really care to change their minds precisely because, as I already told you, everyone is free to think what they want and have their own ideas. I accept the fact  that not everyone thinks the same way. Embrace this idea too, trust me, you'll live better. Find your community and be happy there.

I hope I’ve been even clearer than the previous times. Take care, not a hater nor a shipper Anon, and have a good day. I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for.

[unforth]

Why does everyone always recommend Twist and Shout for destiel? Like what happened in fandom at that time to make it so popular that it's now a staple? I haven't read it. I refuse. I know there is major character death and people complain it is OOC so I'm just wondering why do people love it so much? I have read so many long fics written by immensely talented writers in this fandom that end hopefully and tackle difficult subject matter while maintaining character voices that it seems a shame that T&S is always recommended

So, I also haven’t read it - I don’t do MCD, no matter how highly recommended a fic comes. However, here’s what I’d say in answer to this question.

Twist and Shout came out, it was during a period when the fandom was huge, and exploding. Season 8 was something of a Destiel renaissance (it’s when I started shipping it, for example) and it’s not a coincidence that a lot of the best known fic came out in 2012 and 2013 (for reference, T&S started posting on October 15th, 2012, according to AO3). I wasn’t active on AO3 Destiel fandom at that time (I started reading fic on FF.net in early 2013) nor was I active on Tumblr or in fandom circles where shipping was a big Thing, so I don’t know what the general fandom reaction to it was at the time, but presumably it met with a fair degree of popularity. People liked it. People recced it. I have no idea if it had the MCD tag at that time, but presumably it did. People read it knowing that. And presumably, some people didn’t like it, and some people didn’t rec it, but like any other fic it went through a process of developing popularity.

Why did it get to be first?

In my honest opinion?

Utterly random chance. If you look at ANY developing fandom, some of the trends are in fact totally random, at least to begin with. Once the avalanche starts, though, it’s self-perpetuating.

Think about it. You’re in a brand new fandom. You don’t know anyone. You haven’t read anything. You’re desperate to read something. What do you do? You go to AO3, find the ship you want to read, and you sort by most hits, or most kudos, or most comments, and decide - I’m gonna start by reading these. You see the first fic...okay, MCD, a little off putting...but it’s got SO MANY HITS and SO MANY KUDOS...just take the chance!

So, you (my hypothetical fan) read this fic. One of two things happen - you either love it or you hate it. If you hate it, you may not even finish it, but regardless, you’ve added to the stats - your views count, and maybe you liked the early chapters and kudosed, or maybe you remember everything you’ve heard about authors liking comments on early chapters of fully posted works, and you commented. So those stats have gone up, even if someone HATED it. And on the second, you love it - and you come out gushing! You kudos! If you’re super enthusiastic maybe you log out and give it a second guest kudos! And, as you start getting into the fandom and meeting people, you want to spread this love - you tell your friends - hey, I just read this great fic, and yeah, it’s MCD, but just give it a chance!

And so it begins again - if you tell four people, and they read it, and two hate it, and two love it, and those two tell four people, and two hate it, and two love it, and it just cascades.

Why is Twist and Shout the most popular fic in this fandom? Because Twist and Shout is the most popular fic in this fandom. Yes, it’s a tautology, but it’s entirely self-perpetuating. People read it because it’s listed first. People read it because they like it, and re-read it and re-read, and re-read it, to get that high. People hate read it. People read it just to find out what the big deal is. In a fandom with coming up on 100,000 posted stories, Twist and Shout has almost twice as many kudos as the fic in second (by the, in my personal opinion, far more deserving Annie D, though it’s also not their best work in my opinion, and the reasons it’s up there are likely the same), and almost four times as many hits. By any measure on AO3 surveys, it’s number one when people sort, and lots of people will read it simply out of curiosity.

That kind of popularity is self-perpetuating. And of course lots of people love T&S - it has 1.2 million hits, and almost 35000 kudos. Even if we go extremely conservative and say, 35,000 people have read T&S, that’s simply a shit ton of people, and if even only 10% loved it, that’d still be 3500 people gushing about that single fic. I’ve been writing for 5 years and I don’t have a single fic with even 3500 kudos, and I’m considered a relatively successful writer in this huge fandom.

But here’s, to me, the most important thing - I truly believe any fic can be a Twist and Shout. It’s a confluence of events that makes a fic such a juggernaut, and the vast majority are simply luck. Random drift means one fic is gonna end up on the top of the heap - and once a fic is there, reading tendencies, confirmation bias, and exposure guarantee it’ll STAY on the top of the heap.

I started the Destiel Favs Survey because I felt that the “top 20″ fics by hits in the Destiel fandom didn’t reflect the fics people actually like. I got curious, so I made a list.

In February 21st, 2017, the top 20 fics on AO3 by kudos were:

Twist and Shout by gabriel and standbyme (which, at the time, had 25,507 kudos)

Dean Doesn’t Listen to Eurythmics by Annie D

An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky

Revealed by Valinde

Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGaby and riseofthefallenone

Into Your Hideaway by thepinupchemist

How (Thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (Accidentally) Raised Each Other (and Sam) by Vera_DragonMuse

A Room of One’s Own by NorthernSparrow

Out of the Deep by riseofthefallenone

Grey by Valinde

Convenient Husbands by Annie D

Forget-Me-Not-Blues by noangelsinthegarrison

When Charlie Met Cas by riseofthefallenone

Real Slick Dean by trilliath

In This Secluded Spot I Respond as I Wouldn’t Dare Elsewhere by RhymePhile

The Breath of All Things by KistmetJeska

Unfamiliar by riseofthefallenone

Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) by kototyph

A Hole in the World by AnnelieseMichel

A Beginner’s Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight

Today, 1/9/21, four years later, the top 20 fics by Kudos are:

Twist and Shout by gabriel and standbyme (no change in rank, now has 34,907 kudos)

Dean Doesn’t Listen to Eurythmics by Annie D (no change in rank)

Revealed by Valinde (+1 in rank)

An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky (-1 in rank)

A Room of One’s Own by NorthernSparrow (+3 in rank)

How (Thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (Accidentally) Raised Each Other (and Sam) by Vera_DragonMuse (+1 in rank)

A Turn of the Earth by microcomets/mishcollin (not on the old list by kudos, but it was on the list by 2018 when I did another check in)

Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGaby and riseofthefallenone (-3 in rank)

Into Your Hideaway by thepinupchemist (-3 in rank)

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon (the first work to break through, and it’s in tenth)

Forget-Me-Not Blues by noangelsinthegarrison (+1 in rank)

Grey by Valinde (-2 in rank)

Convenient Husbands by Annie D (-2 in rank)

Professional Couple Only by saltyfeathers (our second new work)

Real Slick Dean by trilliath (-1 in rank)

A Beginner’s Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight (+4 in rank)

When Charlie Met Cas by riseofthefallenone (-4 in rank)

Unfamiliar by riseofthefallenone (-1 in rank)

The Breath of All Things by KismetJeska (-3 in rank)

Out of the Deep by riseofthefallenone (-11 in rank)

In 4 full years, only three works managed to break into the top 20, even though - based on my original data, which you can view here - most of these works have nearly double in the number of kudos they’ve had in that amount of time. Further, the most recently written fic on EITHER of these lists is from 2015 - A Turn of the Earth and Professional Couple Only are from 2015 - and all the rest is older.

These fics aren’t the top 20 because they’re better, and if there was even an ounce of objectivity in this list, it would have actually shown any change in 4 years instead of looking virtually identical. 

Twist and Shout, and the other “most popular” and “most recommended” works in the Destiel fandom have that distinction because they’re the most read, so more people read them, so they’re the most read, so more people read them, so they’re the most read, so...ad infinitum.

And that’s not a judgement call against them! There are fics I LOVE on that top twenty list. But, dear anon, you ask me why I think Twist and Shout is the most popular?

All of this is why. Twist and Shout is the most popular because popularity in fic culture is the only perpetual motion machine in the universe. It is self-perpetuating, and as a result, Twist and Shout will always be the most popular fic in this fandom.

And that’s why I do the faves list - because the tops on AO3 tell us abso-fraggin’-lutely nothing, and I thought we needed a list that actually meant something for what fics people active in the fandom truly love - which DOES include some of those top 20 fics by AO3 data, and includes lots and lots of others that are just as or more wonderful.

*steps off soap box*

(sorry this is stupidly long, I have Opinions.)

[stray-kids-react]

S/O likes enjoys writing/writing lyrics

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° You owned this special and locked diary for years, where you kept all your bottles up emotions and feelings in.

° One of those feelings evolving your long time crush on Chan, including the words 'Sexy, Cute, Inspirational, Hot, Prince, and A Literal Angel' all in quite a few pages. Luckily your now long time boyfriend has never seen these fangirl/boy paragraphs.

° Chan was all of those words, no doubt about it. But it is still hard to look at those paragraphs without cringing at how desperate you sounded in your mind.

° Chan however apparently loved your affectionate paragraphs, flipping through the pages as you walked through his studio door. Your heart sank as pure shock and terror rushed through your veins. No one wants their private thoughts to be read.

° The tips of Chan's ears were firetruck red, as a beaming grin flashed towards you. You noted that he read through the entire diary, knowing all the dreams and wishes you had that involved him. No skeletons were left in your closet anymore, it was bittersweet.

"So you really think I'm an angel who is also the sexiest person on earth?" he teased, cupping your face in his palms.

"Well duh, but you can't tell me you didn't think anything like that towards me-" You defended, cut off by his sweet kisses.

Lee Know

° Minho found out about your true feelings towards him while reading some song lyrics you wanted to show 3Racha.

° He needed to know who you loved and admired so dearly after reading this, constantly by your side questioning anything he could. After literal weeks of conspiracy, you couldn't take his suspicion anymore and admitted everything.

° You are now much more secretive with your songs that you've written, but that won't stop Minho from looking everywhere he possibly can. He is determined to find them.

° After so many large steps that were taken in your relationship, he wants to see how you truly felt throughout them. From the first date, first time, to the promise ring he fave you last week. Minho wants to say it's to tease, when it's truly because he loves you.

° He loved the way his stomach did kart wheels as his heart fluttered when he first read your words. He hasn't felt that amazing feeling in a while and needs to re live it, luckily for him he noticed a place he has never thought of checking.

"So kitten, you really want to marry me don't you?" he commented, a soft smirk across his glowing features.

"Why wouldn't I? You're you. And how'd you find those?!" you replied, tone changing as you saw how many he actually had.

Changbin

° Changbin was struggling to create a new song, he seemed to accidently make similar beats and lyrics to their past hits.

° You would sometime write up different songs when you were bored, but you never showed them to anyone thinking they weren't great. But Changbin looked in need of some type of inspiration, so you brought out your journal and placed it infront of him.

° His expression was unreadable, either about to thank you for the amazing inspiration or laugh at your cheesy words. You just wanted him to say something.

° Changbin began to smile shyly, showing you a page he just read over. That page happened to be the most recent and the one you completely forgot about. It was a draft about 10 different ways you could tell Changbin that you loved him.

° You really wanted it to be special when you would say it to him, but luck didn't seem to be on your side that day. You were at least glad that he was smiling, showing positive signs that he isn't feeling awkward or doesn't feel the same way about you.

"I love you too my adorable bean." He chuckled, pulling you into his lap as he held you close to his racing heart beat.

"I'm guessing he new comeback is going to be a love song now?" you teased, burrowing into his soft black hoodie.

Hyunjn

° Your relationship use to be a cat and mouse situation, one day you two were best friends and then the next you two were rivals.

° Your anger and frustration towards one another was simply a way to hide your true emotions. Both of you found each other attractive in and out, but were too stubborn to confess. That is until he walked into your room and pressed you up against the wall.

° Your rivalry left out the door once you started dating, the only ounce of it was left in the small playful bickering and teasing. Which happened every day of the week.

° You walked into the dressing rooms, noticing Han and Felix giggling as your presence became known. This wasn't a usual giggle of theirs, something was going on. You knew that for sure once you saw the way Hyunjin presented himself.

° A sly smirk across his lips as a couple crumpled peace of paper were in between his fingers. His steps were long and powerful, as he held his head up high while nearing you. This usually meant he found something to tease you with.

"I didn't know you liked me for five years, coming up with so many cute pet names if we ever dated." He teased, hiding his blush.

"First of all, you went through my desk without asking me. Second of all, I am whipped for you dumb dumb." You replied.

Han

° You weren't a very vocal person, having trouble expressing your thoughts and emotions through words everyday.

° That reason alone is also why people think you and Han are a perfect match. He helped you come out of your shell and be comfortable in your own skin. All of those actions sent your heart into a frenzy, finding there way into pages filled with emotion.

° Han knew about your habit of writing cute quotes on your palms and arms, or just randomly taking out your journal and starting a new page.

° He respected your privacy even if the temptation of knowing every little thought you have was very very strong, he held back and let you write in peace. However, when you dropped your journal without knowing. Han held it and the temptation took over.

° As you had a chat with Seungmin, he turned around from your eye sight and flipped through the pages. Many of them expressing how much you love him and how much he helped you without him even knowing. This effected Han immensely.

"Hannie are you crying?" you questioned, noticing the forming gloss over his sparkling chocolate orbs.

"Yeah, but it's happy tears. I just never knew how much you cared about me, and it makes me feel important." He explained.

Felix

° You cannot hide anything from this adorable koala, he knows you too well and can find anything you've hidden from him.

° You learned this the hard way when you asked him for help when forgetting where you left your journal, panicking since the last place you saw it was at Minho's. Felix knew you usually placed it near your bed and assumed it to be under the covers.

°His assumption was spot on, but you had no idea that he had found it yet. Felix took this advantage to skim through a few pages, smiling at the sight of his name in the book.

° His name was mentioned ever since the day you first met, January 7th 2017. He was written as this attractive aussie that had your knees weak, he laughed silently at the realization that you fancied him since the first day you met. He loved it.

° Felix walked out with the navy blue book tight in his grip, his ears a bright shade of red. You knew he must've read some sort of page about him, but you weren't nervous about it. It couldn't have been anything more cheesy than what you say on dates.

"I can't believe Han knew about your crush on me that entire time." Felix chuckled, shock filling his expression.

"And I can't believe you never knew how much I truly admired you." You teased back, kissing his freckle speckled cheeks.

Seungmin

° Seungmin met you at a library, you were working on a soft poem about not being able to find the right person.

° That whole meeting seemed like something right off of a romance movie or fanfiction novel. Writing about giving up on love as an amazing guy happens to cross paths with you. But both of you laugh at the whole cliché nature of your meeting.

° Seungmin loved how you wrote, taking him into the story each time. He felt so special whenever he found something referring to your relationship, feeling fuzzy inside.

° He liked to bring some of your poems on tour with him, reminding him to stay strong when being away from you. Letting him know that you'll always be there for him when he needs you, even if you are both countries away from each other.

° Felix once found his stash of poems that you wrote, he never teased him on it but would still smile excitedly at how sentimental Seungmin was becoming. Seungmin knew he was becoming cheesy and mushy, he hated yet loved it.

"Do you know how much you have effected me?" he questioned, tracing the curve of your jaw with his thumb.

"Or maybe you have an addiction to me, ever think of that?" you responded, smiling widely as he rolled his eyes at your words.

Jeongin

° You worked under JYP entertainment to help create songs for different groups, Jeongin noticed you during his break.

° You rarely got to work with Stray Kids since they made 99% of their own songs, but that didn't stop Jeongin from trying to get to know you. It worked in his favor, since you began to develop a living in him after two months of hang out together.

° Jeongin likes hearing certain songs you create or in the process of being created, cheering you on and telling all of his members when you created a song.

° He liked to give you the credit and appreciation you rarely get, most of the credit going towards the artist who performed the songs you created. Jeongin wanted to let you know how proud he was of you daily, even if you got shy from it.

° Whenever you showed him different samples of songs you were working on, he'd dance in his seat with a beaming smile. Even when you were tired and wanted the day to end, his admiration and addicting smile would make your mood change instantly.

"I am just worried because JYP has been pretty harsh on the past few songs." You sighed, tired and frustrated.

"He literally wrote a song about women's butts. I'm pretty sure you're more talented baby." He reassured, patting your head.

[swga-ficrecs]

june 2021 recap

ahh june was a really fic-filled month!!! i used to be a silent reader but then i realized that it’s hard to go back to the fics i really liked reading since i had no way of finding them except for remembering key words and googling the shit out of it lol so!!! i thought of doing a monthly recap of all my favorites in addition to the fics i like and reblog. thank you to these wonderful authors who just write pure magic  ✨

🏆 holy grail  |  ☀️ fluff  |  🌧 angst  |  💋 smut.

fave authors

🏆 @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong

HOLY GRAIL AUTHOR!!! Loved a lot of their series because of the tropes and the plot. I’ll definitely come back to their fics in the future for another binge reading session

@taecalikook

Really loved their fuckboy trope fics. Has a few unfinished fics I’m excited to binge read once they’re completed

🏆 @gukyi

Discovered their work back in 2017? Really loved IGYMH and reread their masterlist this month

@ve1vetyoongi​

All I can remember is the ending of Mic Drop and I can’t  😭 I’m really excited for their unfinished fics!!!!

fave fics 

Arranged by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: chaebol MYG x student reader

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

Dissonance by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong  🏆 🌧 ☀️

Pairing: bassist KTH x student / band manager reader

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

The Parting by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong  🏆 🌧 ☀️

Pairing: flower shop owner PJM x reaper reader

The only certainty in life is death, and it seems to follow Park Jimin. All his life, the icy shadow of death has hung closely by his side, along with the shadow of…something else. Reapers exist to guide the souls of the living to the world beyond. But what happens when a particular Reaper tampers with the natural order and saves a mortal boy’s life? What will they do once their fates become inextricably linked?

From Home by @gyukult  🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: chaebol JJK x reader

jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class?

(Not) Just Friends by @.taecalikook  🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Bestfriend / fuckboy / fratboy JJK x reader ft. KSJ 

Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermilion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So was Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and… a certain Kim Seokjin.

Partiality by @jiminimoon  🏆 🌧

Pairing: Husband PJM x reader

You and Jimin argue about your kids not loving you two equally

Brown-eyed Baby by @jeonstudios  🏆 ☀️ 🌧 💋

Pairing: Single Parent JJK x reader

a lost child at the mall. eyes from a different time.

I’ll Give You My Heart by @.gukyi  🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: CEO bestfriend MYG x reader

gift exchanges are cool. gift exchanges with your ceo-slash-best friend min yoongi are less cool, because what the hell are you supposed to get the man that already has everything?

The Truth Between Us by @.gukyi and @jimlingss   🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Editor MYG x reader

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

Love is Blind by @cinnaminsvga 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

[Final] Pairing: Fake boyfriend KNJ x reader

social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way)

Love Grows Where You Go by @hueseok 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Fiancé MYG x reader

determined to make you and yoongi grow closer for your upcoming wedding in two weeks, your parents plan a trip for the both of you that lasts five days long. you know you should be ecstatic about it, considering your longtime crush on your fiancé, but by how you’re positive that he secretly despises your whole being, you don’t find this mini vacation with him something to look forward to. that is until things take an unexpected turn and suddenly, he makes it apparent he doesn’t hate you at all as you reckoned.

Give Me Love by @.hueseok 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Lawyer boyfriend KNJ x reader

you’ve been in a relationship with your boyfriend for over five years now, yet the talk of marriage has never been initiated between the two of you. of course, you try to somehow squeeze it in from time to time, but it seems like no matter what, namjoon just won’t take the hint

Cornfields and Cosmos by @jessikahathaway ☀️ 🌧 💋

Pairing: Alien MYG x reader

Cornfields: He was an alien. You were a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Probably. It’s the one where Yoongi’s a cold alien that needs love too.

Cosmos:  Yoongi and you had been travelling together for a long time. You’d begun the terrifying journey of becoming parents. When a new person arrives in a way you didn’t expect, you and Yoongi’s relationship is sent into a tailspin.

The Art of Craving by @venusiangguk  ☀️ 💋

Pairing: Single parent DILF JJK x reader

jk takes you to a bbq at his friends house. the tri-tip is good but the creampie is even better.

fics to i’m waiting to finish before binge reading

What we are not ; Soulmates by @.taecalikook

Pairing: MYG x reader x KTH

you love yoongi with all your heart throughout these five years being in a relationship with him. you always thought he is the one — your one, even when the infamous soulmate signs are still not showing. yet you always wait, because you know it’s him you are destined to be with, forever. but what would happen if then his childhood best friend comes along, with the universe-signed telltales that you have been looking for true love in all the wrong places?

When the sea sleeps by @.taecalikook

Pairing: KSJ x reader

marriage should be based on love, but it’s not really the case with you and Seokjin. what’s more beneficial than two person who sworn off romances to get married out of obligation, right? but you should have known better, that keeping your heart straight from wanting someone like Kim Seokjin is next to impossible.

After Midnight by @.gyukult

Pairing: JJK x reader

jeon jungkook only likes seeing you after midnight.

Better With You by @ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: KSJ x reader

A part time job as a chef at Paradise Resort seems like the perfect way to spend your summer and save up some spare cash to open your own restaurant back home. That is until you cross paths with the CEO’s son who threatens to fire you if you don’t help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune. How? By making you his fiancé. Well, his pretend fiancé at least.

Operation: Love Letters by @.ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: OT7 x reader

When every student on campus is going crazy about a survey that claims to make true love bloom, your best friend manages to convince you to join in on the fun — except you’re disappointed to find out that your results just seem to be lost causes. That is until a love letter from a mysterious secret admirer turns up and you find yourself on a mission to find the person behind the pen — but you quickly realise it’s going to be a lot harder than you initially thought when you have 7 possible bachelors to investigate, right? Operation: Love Letters a-go!

Remember Me by @.ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: OT7 x reader

Taehyung wants to be forgotten. Overwhelmed by his life as idol persona V, he longs to just be Kim Taehyung for once. Even if that means forgetting everything he ever knew

🏆  The Prince and His Rose by @vanaera

Pairing: Football player / Childhood bestfriend JJK x reader

Drabble series of “For a While”

The Heart Holiday by @.vanaera

Pairing: MYG x reader

Valentine’s Day is declared as an official holiday. However, private companies’ standards dictate it’s only for the people who are currently in a relationship. Unluckily for Y/N, she doesn’t have this year’s PRS’ (Proof of Relationship Status) “in a relationship” box ticked – the only ticket out she can have to enjoy one paid week of holiday leave away from her hellish job. And more unfortunately for Y/N, everyone around her is oh so conveniently currently committed in a relationship. Except for one person: Min Yoongi, Y/N’s biggest critic in every pitch meeting, the picky guy who always picks on her, and the most annoying jerk of the century. Desperate for that holiday leave, Y/N strikes Yoongi up with an offer: Fake date each other two weeks before February 14, just enough time for the Department of Relationship Management (DRM) to consider processing their PRSs. After Valentine’s Day, they will go back to their own ways and never speak about whatever that may happen during the plan. Good, plain, and simple. That is until, Yoongi uncharacteristically oh so enthusiastically agrees to Y/N’s offer, leaving her thinking that she may have bitten something too much more than she can chew.

My Time by @.vanaera

Pairing: JJK x reader

A future technology allows cops to jump in the past and future to investigate crimes that have happened and prepare for those that are about to happen. A simple hit-and-run turns into something more when Captain Jeon Jungkook finds himself as the victim of a culprit who cannot be identified by the system. Especially when the culprit seems to be the same person behind the new case that’s threatening the order in the justice organization. All goes haywire when Jungkook gets involved with Y/N L/N, the clairvoyant sketch artist who may be his only help to solve the case.

Lost Stars by @.hueseok

Pairing: JJK x reader

the last person you’d expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as you’re concerned, the both of you aren’t exactly friends, and he definitely shouldn’t be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.

so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe you’ve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.

Dexterity + Stupidity by @.hueseok

Pairing: JJK x reader

a drabble series that features surgical intern!jeongguk x surgical resident!reader as they go through their odd senior-junior relationship, obviously having the hots for each other and yet, frustratingly goes into twists and turns in order to properly act on it.

Crimson Grail by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: MYG x reader

There were tales of the famed pirate Min Yoongi, Captain of the Crimson Grail. However, one meeting with him is hardly ever enough… One taste of adventure, and you were addicted.

Baby Talk by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: PJM x JJK x reader

Jimin and Jungkook had been trying to get a surrogate for years. Finally when you agree to help them, their dreams seem to be coming true. But, dreams change…

Vegas, Baby by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: KTH x reader

They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What happens when there’s a little more legality to it than that?

Taming the Beast by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: KTH x reader

You were the next in line to be the head of your village, when your mother gave you to the enemy to save your people from merciless slaughter. What happens when they try to Tame a Beast?

Owner by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: JJK x reader

With your mother hounding on you (no pun intended), you decided to get a little help from a hybrid, who was also in need of assistance.

If Only You Knew by @agustdakasuga

Pairing: BTS x reader

From the start, you knew you wanted to be a hybrid rehabilitator. You needed to help these hybrids heal, learn to live with one another and lead normal lives. Even if they are all different, you hoped that they could give each other a new reason to live.

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10.  WOLFWALKERS – eleven years ago, Irish director Tomm Moore exploded onto the animated cinema scene with The Secret of Kells, a spellbinding feature debut which captivated audiences the world over and even garnered an Oscar nomination.  Admittedly I didn’t actually even know about it until I discovered his work through his astonishing follow-up, Song of the Sea (another Academy Award nominee), in 2015, so when I finally caught it I was already a fan of Moore’s work.  It’s been a similarly long wait for his third feature, but he’s genuinely pulled off a hat-trick, delivering a third flawless film in a row which OF COURSE means that his latest feature is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my top animated feature of 2020.  I could even be tempted to say it’s his best work to date … this is an ASTONISHING film, a work of such breath-taking, spell-binding beauty that I spent its entire hour and three-quarters glued to the screen, simple mesmerised by the wonder and majesty of this latest iteration of the characteristically stylised “Cartoon Saloon” look.  It’s also liberally steeped in Moore’s trademark Celtic vibe and atmosphere, once again delving deep into his homeland’s rich and evocative cultural history and mythology while also bringing us something far more original and personal – this time the titular supernatural beings are magical near-human beings whose own subconscious can assume the form of very real wolves.  Set in a particularly dark time in Irish history – namely 1650, when Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector – the story follows Robyn (Honor Kneafsey, probably best known for the Christmas Prince films), the impetuous and spirited young daughter of English hunter Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean), brought in by the Protectorate to rid the city of Kilkenny of the wolves plaguing the area.  One day fate intervenes and Robyn meets Mebh Og MacTire (The Girl at the End of the Garden‘s Eve Whittaker), a wild girl living in the woods, whose accidental bite gives her strange dreams in which she becomes a wolf – turns out Mebh is a wolfwalker, and now so is Robyn … every aspect of this film is an utter triumph for Moore and co, who have crafted a work of living, breathing cinematic art that’s easily the equal to (if not even better than) the best that Disney, Dreamworks or any of the other animation studios could create.  Then there’s the excellent voice cast – Bean brings fatherly warmth and compassion to the role that belies his character’s intimidating size, while Kneafsey and Whittaker make for a sweet and sassy pair as they bond in spite of powerful cultural differences, and the masterful Simon McBurney (Harry Potter, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) brings cool, understated menace to the role of Cromwell himself.  This is a film with plenty of emotional heft to go with its marvels, and once again displays the welcome dark side which added particular spice to Moore’s previous films, but ultimately this is still a gentle and heartfelt work of wonder that makes for equally suitable viewing for children as for those who are still kids at heart – ultimately, then, this is another triumph for one of the most singularly original filmmakers working in animation today, and if Wolfwalkers doesn’t make it third time lucky come Oscars-time then there’s no justice in the world …

9.  WONDER WOMAN 1984 – probably the biggest change for 2020 compared to pretty much all of the past decade is how different the fortunes of superhero cinema turned out to be.  A year earlier the Marvel Cinematic Universe had dominated all, but the DC Extended Universe still got a good hit in with big surprise hit Shazam!  Fast-forward to now and things are VERY different – DC suddenly came out in the lead, but only because Marvel’s intended heavy-hitters (two MCU movies, the first Venom sequel and potential hot-shit new franchise starter Morbius: the Living Vampire) found themselves continuously pushed back thanks to (back then) unforeseen circumstances which continue to shit all over our theatre-going slate for the immediate future.  In the end DC’s only SERIOUS competition turned out to be NETFLIX … never mind, at least we got ONE big established superhero blockbuster into the cinemas before the end of the year that the whole family could enjoy, and who better to headline it than DC’s “newest” big screen megastar, Diana Prince? Back in 2017 Monster’s Ball director Patty Jenkins’ monumental DCEU standalone spectacularly realigned the trajectory of a cinematic franchise that was visibly flagging, redesigning the template for the series’ future which has since led to some (mostly) consistently impressive subsequent offerings.  Needless to say it was a damn tough act to follow, but Jenkins and co-writers Geoff Johns (Arrow and The Flash) and David Callaham (The Expendables, Zombieland: Double Tap, future MCU entry Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings) have risen to the challenge in fine style, delivering something which pretty much equals that spectacular franchise debut … as has Gal Gadot, who’s now OFFICIALLY made the role her own thanks to yet another showstopping and definitive performance as the unstoppable Amazonian goddess living amongst us.  She’s older and wiser than in the first film, but still hasn’t lost that forthright honesty and wonderfully pure heart we’ve come to love ever since her introduction in Zack Snyder’s troublesome but ultimately underrated Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes, that’s right, I said it!), and Gadot’s clear, overwhelming commitment to the role continues to pay off magnificently as she once again proves that Diana is THE VERY BEST superhero in the DCEU cinematic pantheon.  Although it takes place several decades after its predecessor, WW84 is, obviously, still very much a period piece, Jenkins and co this time perfectly capturing the sheer opulent and over-the-top tastelessness of the 1980s in all its big-haired, bad-suited, oversized shoulder-padded glory while telling a story that encapsulates the greedy excessiveness of the Reagan era, perfectly embodied in the film’s nominal villain, Max Lord (The Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal), a wishy-washy wannabe oil tycoon conman who chances upon a supercharged wish-rock and unleashes a devastating supernatural “monkey’s paw” upon the world. To say any more would give away a whole raft of spectacular twists and turns that deserve to be enjoyed good and cold, although they did spoil one major surprise in the trailer when they teased the return of Diana’s first love, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) … needless to say this is another big blockbuster bursting with big characters, big action and BIG IDEAS, just what we’ve come to expect after Wonder Woman’s first triumphant big screen adventure.  Interestingly, the film starts out feeling like it’s going to be a bubbly, light, frothy affair – after a particularly stunning all-action opening flashback to Diana’s childhood on Themyscira, the film proper kicks off with a bright and breezy atmosphere that feels a bit like the kind of Saturday morning cartoon action the consistently impressive set-pieces take such unfettered joy in parodying, but as the stakes are raised the tone grows darker and more emotionally potent, the storm clouds gathering for a spectacularly epic climax that, for once, doesn’t feel too overblown or weighed down by its visual effects, while the intelligent script has unfathomable hidden depths to it, making us think far more than these kinds of blockbusters usually do.  It’s really great to see Chris Pine return since he was one of the best things about the first movie, and his lovably childlike wide-eyed wonder at this brave new world perfectly echoes Diana’s own last time round; Kristen Wiig, meanwhile, is pretty phenomenal throughout as Dr Barbara Minerva, the initially geeky and timid nerd who discovers an impressive inner strength but ultimately turns into a superpowered apex predator as she becomes one of Wonder Woman’s most infamous foes, the Cheetah; Pascal, of course, is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up to the hilt as Lord, playing gloriously against his effortlessly cool, charismatic action hero image to deliver a compellingly troubling examination of the monstrous corrupting influence of absolute power.  Once again, though, the film truly belongs to Gadot – she looks amazing, acts her socks off magnificently, and totally rules the movie.  After this, a second sequel is a no-brainer, because Wonder Woman remains the one DC superhero who’s truly capable of bearing the weight of this particular cinematic franchise on her powerful shoulders – needless to say, it’s already been greenlit, and with both Jenkins and Gadot onboard, I’m happy to sign up for more too …

8.  LOVE & MONSTERS – with the cinemas continuing their frustrating habit of opening for a little while and then closing while the pandemic ebbed and flowed in the months after the summer season, it was starting to look like there might not have been ANY big budget blockbusters to enjoy before year’s end as heavyweights like Black Widow, No Time To Die and Dune pulled back to potentially more certain release slots into 2021 (with only WW84 remaining stubbornly in place for Christmas).  Then Paramount decided to throw us a bone, opting to release this post-apocalyptic horror comedy on-demand in October instead, thus giving me the perfect little present to tie me over during the darkening days of autumn. The end result was a stone-cold gem that came out of nowhere to completely blow critics away, a spectacular sleeper hit that ultimately proved one of the year’s biggest and most brilliant surprises.  Director Michael Matthews may only have had South African indie thriller Five Fingers for Marseilles under his belt prior to this, but he proves he’s definitely a solid talent to watch in the future, crafting a fun and effective thrill-ride that, like all the best horror comedies, is consistently as funny as it is scary, sharing much of the same DNA as this particular mash-up genre’s classics like Tremors and Zombieland and standing up impressively well to such comparisons.  The story, penned by rising star Brian Duffield (who has TWO other entries on this list, Underwater and Spontaneous) and Matthew Robinson (The Invention of Lying, Dora & the Lost City of Gold), is also pretty ingenious and surprisingly original – a meteorite strike has unleashed weird mutagenic pathogens that warp various creepy crawly critters into gigantic monstrosities that have slaughter most of the world’s human population, leaving only a beleaguered, dwindling few to eke out a precarious living in underground colonies. Living in one such makeshift community is Joel Dawson (The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien), a smart and likeable geek who really isn’t very adventurous, is extremely awkward and uncoordinated, and has a problem with freezing if threatened … which makes it all the more inexplicable when he decides, entirely against the advice of everyone he knows, to venture onto the surface so he can make the incredibly dangerous week-long trek to the neighbouring colony where his girlfriend Aimee (Iron Fist’s Jessica Henwick) has ended up.  Joel is, without a doubt, the best role that O’Brien has EVER had, a total dork who’s completely unsuited to this kind of adventure and, in the real world, sure to be eaten alive in the first five minutes, but he’s also such a fantastically believable, fallible everyman that every one of us desperate, pathetic omega-males and females can instantly put ourselves in his place, making it elementarily easy to root for him.  He’s also hilariously funny, his winningly self-deprecating sass and pitch perfect talent for physical comedy making it all the more rewarding watching each gloriously anarchic life-and-death encounter mould him into the year’s most unlikely action hero.  Henwick, meanwhile, once again impresses in a well-written role where she’s able to make a big impression despite her decidedly short screen time, as do the legendary Michael Rooker and brilliant newcomer Ariana Greenblatt as Clyde and Minnow, the adorably jaded, seen-it-all-before pair of “professional survivors” Joel meets en-route, who teach him to survive on the surface.  The action is fast, frenetic and potently visceral, the impressively realistic digital creature effects bringing a motley crew of bloodthirsty beasties to suitably blood-curdling life for the film’s consistently terrifying set-pieces, while the world-building is intricately thought-out and skilfully executed.  Altogether, this was an absolute joy from start to finish, and a film I enthusiastically endorsed to everyone I knew was looking for something fun to enjoy during the frustrating lockdown nights-in.  One of the cinematic year’s best kept secrets then, and a compelling sign of things to come for its up-and-coming director.

7.  PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all.  It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering deeply troubling answers.  Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s good luck charm, Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two pennies together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity.  Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the kids contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically.  But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon.  This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head to stunning effect.  The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon.  This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away.  Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade.  Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …

6.  THE OLD GUARD – Netflix’ undisputable TOP OFFERING of the summer came damn close to bagging the whole season, and I can’t help thinking that even if some of the stiffer competition had still been present it may well have still finished this high. Gina Prince-Blythewood (Love & Basketball, the Secret Life of Bees) directs comics legend Greg Rucka’s adaptation of his own popular series with uncanny skill and laser-focused visual flair considering there’s nothing on her previous CV to suggest she’d be THIS good at mounting a stomping great ultraviolent action thriller, ushering in a thoroughly engrossing tale of four ancient, invulnerable immortal warriors – Andy AKA Andromache of Scythia (Charlize Theron), Booker AKA Sebastian de Livre (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe AKA Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Wolf’s Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky AKA Niccolo di Ginova (Trust’s Luca Marinelli) – who’ve been around forever, hiring out their services as mercenaries for righteous causes while jealously guarding their identities for fear of horrific experimentation and exploitation should their true natures ever be discovered.  Their anonymity is threatened, however, when they’re uncovered by former CIA operative James Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who’s working for the decidedly dodgy pharmaceutical conglomerate run by sociopathic billionaire Steven Merrick (Harry Melling, formerly Dudley in the Harry Potter movies), who want to capture these immortals so they can patent whatever it is that makes them keep on ticking … just as a fifth immortal, US Marine Nile Freeman (If Beale Street Could Talk’s KiKi Layne), awakens after being “killed” on deployment in Afghanistan.  The supporting players are excellent, particularly Ejiofor, smart and driven but ultimately principled and deeply conflicted about what he’s doing, even if he does have the best of intentions, and Melling, the kind of loathsome, reptilian scumbag you just love to hate, but the film REALLY DOES belong to the Old Guard themselves – Schoenaerts is a master brooder, spot-on casting as the group’s relative newcomer, only immortal since the Napoleonic Wars but clearly one seriously old soul who’s already VERY tired of the lifestyle, while Joe and Nicky (who met on opposing sides of the Crusades) are simply ADORABLE, an unapologetically matter-of-fact gay couple who are sweet, sassy and incredibly kind, the absolute emotional heart of the film; it’s the ladies, however, that are most memorable here.  Layne is exceptional, investing Nile with a steely intensity that puts her in good stead as her new existence threatens to overwhelm her and MORE THAN qualified to bust heads alongside her elders … but it’s ancient Greek warrior Andy who steals the film, Theron building on the astounding work she did in Atomic Blonde to prove, once and for all, that there’s no woman on Earth who looks better kicking arse than her (as Booker puts it, “that woman has forgotten more ways to kill than entire armies will ever learn”); in her hands, Andy truly is a goddess of death, tough as tungsten alloy and unflappable even in the face of hell itself, but underneath it all she hides a heart as big as any of her friends’.  They’re an impossibly lovable bunch and you feel you could follow them on another TEN adventures like this one, which is just as well, because Prince-Blythewood and Rucka certainly put them through their paces here – the drama is high (but frequently laced with a gentle, knowing sense of humour, particularly whenever Joe and Nicky are onscreen), as are the stakes, and the frequent action sequences are top-notch, executed with rare skill and bone-crunching zest, but also ALWAYS in service to the story.  Altogether this is an astounding film, a genuine victory for its makers and, it seems, for Netflix themselves – it’s become one of the platform’s biggest hits to date, earning well-deserved critical acclaim and great respect and genuine geek love from the fanbase at large.  After this, a sequel is not only inevitable, it’s ESSENTIAL …

5.  MANK – it’s always nice when David Fincher, one of my TOP FIVE ALL TIME FAVOURITE DIRECTORS, drops a new movie, because it can be GUARANTEED to place good and high in my rundown for that year.  The man is a frickin’ GENIUS, a true master of the craft, genuinely one of the auteur’s auteurs.  I’ve NEVER seen him deliver a bad film – even a misfiring Fincher (see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Alien 3) is still capable of creating GREAT CINEMA.  How? Why?  It’s because he genuinely LOVES the art form, it’s been his obsession all his life, and he’s spent every day of it becoming the best possible filmmaker he can be.  Who better to tell the story of the creation of one of the ULTIMATE cinematic masterpieces, then?  Benjamin Ross’ acclaimed biopic RKO 281 covered similar ground, presenting a compelling look into the making Citizen Kane, the timeless masterpiece of Hollywood’s ULTIMATE auteur, Orson Welles, but Fincher’s film is more interested in the original inspiration for the story, how it was written and, most importantly, the man who wrote it – Herman J. Mankiewicz, known to his friends as Mank. One of my favourite actors of all time, Gary Oldman, delivers yet another of his career best performances in the lead role, once a man of vision and incredible storytelling skill whose talents have largely been squandered through professional difficulties and personal vices, a burned out one-time great fallen on hard times whom Welles picks up out of the trash, dusts off and offers a chance to create something truly great again.  The only catch?  The subject of their film (albeit dressed up in the guise of fictional newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane) is to be real-life publisher, politico and tycoon William Randolph Hurst (Charles Dance), once Mank’s friend and patron before they had a very public and messy falling out which partly led to his current circumstances.  As he toils away in seclusion on what is destined to become his true masterwork, flashbacks reveal to us the fascinating, moving and ultimately tragic tale of his rise and fall from grace in the movie business, set against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history.  Shooting a script that his own journalist and screenwriter father, Jack, crafted and then failed to bring to the screen himself before his death in 2003, Fincher has been working for almost a quarter century to make this film, and all that passion and drive is writ large on the screen – this is a glorious film ABOUT film, the art of it, the creation of it, and all the dirty little secrets of what the industry itself has always really been like, especially in that most glamorous and illusory of times.  The fact that Fincher shot in black and white and intentionally made it look like it was made in the early 1940s (the “golden age of the Silver Screen”, if you will) may seem like a gimmick, but instead it’s a very shrewd choice that expertly captures the gloss and moodiness of the age, almost looking like a contemporary companion piece to Kane itself, and it’s the perfect way to frame all the sharp-witted observation, subtly subversive character development and murky behind-the-scenes machinations that tell the story.  Oldman is in every way the star here, holding the screen with all the consummate skill and flair we’ve come to expect from him, but there’s no denying the uniformly excellent supporting cast are equal to the task here – Dance is at his regal, charismatic best as Hearst, while Amanda Seyfried is icily classy on the surface but mischievous and lovably grounded underneath as Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies, who formed the basis for Kane’s most controversial character, Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Moneyball) brings nuance and complexity to the role of MGM founder Louis B. Mayer, Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Ozark) is understated but compelling as Mank’s younger screenwriter brother Joseph, and Lily Collins and Tuppence Middleton exude class and long-suffering stubbornness as the two main women in Mank’s life (his secretary and platonic muse, Rita Alexander, and his wife, Sara), while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke’s periodic but potent appearances as Orson Welles help to drive the story in the “present”.  Another Netflix release which I was (thankfully) able to catch on the big screen during one of the brief lulls between British lockdowns, this was a decidedly meta cinematic experience that perfectly encapsulated not only what is truly required for the creation of a screen epic, but also the latest pinnacle in the career of one of the greatest filmmakers working in the business today, powerful, stirring, intriguing and surprising in equal measure. Certainly it’s one of the most important films ABOUT so far film this century, but is it as good as Citizen Kane?  Boy, that’s a tough one …

4.  ENOLA HOLMES – ultimately, my top film for the autumn/winter movie season was also the film which finally topped my Netflix Original features list, as well as beating all other streaming offerings for the entire year (which is saying something, as you should know by now).  Had things been different, this would have been one of Warner Bros’ BIGGEST releases for the year in the cinema, of that I have no doubt, a surprise sleeper hit which would have taken the world by storm – as it is it’s STILL become a sensation, albeit in a much more mid-pandemic, lockdown home-viewing kind of way.  Before you start crying oh God no, not another Sherlock Holmes adaptation, this is a very different beast from either the Guy Ritchie take or the modernized BBC show, instead side-lining the great literary sleuth in favour of a delicious new AU version, based on The Case of the Missing Marquess, the first novel in the Enola Holmes Mysteries literary series from American YA author Nancy Springer.  Positing that Sherlock Holmes (Henry Cavill) and his elder brother Mycroft (Sam Claflin) had an equally ingenious and precocious baby sister, the film introduces us to Enola (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who’s been raised at home by their strong-willed mother Eudoria (Helena Bonham Carter) to be just as intelligent, well-read and intellectually skilled as her far more advantageously masculine elder siblings.  Then, on the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Enola awakens to find her mother has vanished, putting her in a pretty pickle since this leaves her a ward of Mycroft, a self-absorbed social peacock who finds her to be wilfully free-spirited and completely ill equipped to face the world, concluding that the only solution is sending her to boarding school where she’ll learn to become a proper lady.  Needless to say she’s horrified by the prospect, deciding to run away and search for her mother instead … this is about as perfect a family adventure film as you could wish for, following a vital, capable and compelling teen detective-in-the-making as she embarks on her very first investigation, as well as winding up tangled in a second to boot involving a young runaway noble, Viscount Tewkesbury, the Marquess of Basilwether (Medici’s Louis Partridge), and the film is a breezy, swift-paced and rewardingly entertaining romp that feels like a welcome breath of fresh air for a literary property which, beloved as it may be, has been adapted to death over the years.  Enola Holmes a brilliant young hero who’s perfectly crafted to carry the franchise forward in fresh new directions, and Brown brings her to life with effervescent charm, boisterous energy and mischievous irreverence that are entirely irresistible; Cavill and Claflin, meanwhile, are perfectly cast as the two very different brothers – this Sherlock is much less louche and world-weary than most previous versions, still razor sharp and intellectually restless but with a comfortable ease and a youthful spring in his step that perfectly suits the actor, while Mycroft is as superior and arrogant as ever, a preening arse we derive huge enjoyment watching Enola consistently get the best of; Bonham Carter doesn’t get a lot of screen-time but as we’d expect she does a lot with what she has to make the practical, eccentric and unapologetically modern Eudoria thoroughly memorable, while Partridge is carefree and likeable as the naïve but irresistible Tewkesbury, and there are strong supporting turns from Frances de la Tour as his stately grandmother, the Dowager, Susie Wokoma (Crazyhead, Truth Seekers) as Emily, a feisty suffragette who runs a jujitsu studio, Burn Gorman as dastardly thug-for-hire Linthorn, and Four Lions’ Adeel Akhtar as a particularly scuzzy Inspector Lestrade.  Seasoned TV director Harry Bradbeer (Fleabag, Killing Eve) makes his feature debut with an impressive splash, unfolding the action at a brisk pace while keeping the narrative firmly focused on an intricate mystery plot that throws in plenty of ingenious twists and turns before a suitably atmospheric climax and pleasing denouement which nonetheless artfully sets up more to come in the future, while screenwriter Jack Thorne (His Dark Materials, The Scouting Book for Boys, Wonder) delivers strong character work and liberally peppers the dialogue with a veritable cavalcade of witty zingers.  Boisterous, compelling, amusing, affecting and exciting in equal measure, this is a spirited and appealing slice of cinematic escapism that flatters its viewers and never talks down to them, a perfect little period adventure for a cosy Sunday afternoon.  Obviously there’s plenty of potential for more, and with further books to adapt there’s more than enough material for a pile of sequels – Neflix would be barmy indeed to turn their nose up at this opportunity …

3.  1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed.  Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed.  The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that’s impossible to tear your eyes away from.  Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league.  It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is True History of the Kelly Gang’s George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack).  They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overtly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos.  That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DOP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is utterly immersive and simply STUNNING.  I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same.  Either way, this was the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I had at the cinema all year – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …

2.  BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number two is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen.  It was been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it was done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than the Wonder Woman movies).  It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one talented psychiatrist.  Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley TRUE justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to.  Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the assumed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about.  Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what had to be 2020’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action hero potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain.  Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discover her warrior origins when the DCEU finally gets around to introducing her mum, Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy.  My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT.  Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch of badass ladies, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz.  This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster ever made – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms.  It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!).  It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists.  Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date, and VERY NEARLY my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020.  Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.

1.  TENET – granted, the streaming platforms (particularly Netflix and Amazon) certainly saved our cinematic summer, but I’m still IMMEASURABLY glad that my ultimate top-spot winner FOR THE WHOLE YEAR was one I got to experience on THE BIG SCREEN. You gotta hand it to Christopher Nolan, he sure hung in there, stubbornly determined that his latest cinematic masterpiece WOULD be released in cinemas in the summer (albeit ultimately landing JUST inside the line in the final week of August and ultimately taking the bite at the box office because of the still shaky atmosphere), and it was worth all the fuss because, for me, this was THE PERFECT MOVIE for me to get return to cinemas with.  I mean, okay, in the end it WASN’T the FIRST new movie I saw after the first reopening, that honour went to Unhinged, but THIS was my first real Saturday night-out big screen EXPERIENCE since March.  Needless to say, Nolan didn’t disappoint this time any more than he has on any of his consistently spectacular previous releases, delivering another twisted, mind-boggling headfuck of a full-blooded experiential sensory overload that comes perilously close to toppling his long-standing auteur-peak, Inception (itself second only by fractions to The Dark Knight as far as I’m concerned). To say much at all about the plot would give away major spoilers – personally I’d recommend just going in as cold as possible, indeed you really should just stop reading this right now and just GO SEE IT.  Still with us?  Okay … the VERY abridged version is that it’s about a secret war being waged between the present and the future by people capable of “inverting” time in substances, objects, people, whatever, into which the Protagonist (BlacKkKlansman’s John David Washington), an unnamed CIA agent, has been dispatched in order to prevent a potential coming apocalypse. Washington is once again on top form, crafting a robust and compelling morally complex heroic lead who’s just as comfortable negotiating the minefields of black market intrigue as he is breaking into places or dispatching heavies, Kenneth Branagh delivers one of his most interesting and memorable performances in years as brutal Russian oligarch Andrei Sator, a genuinely nasty piece of work who was ALMOST the year’s very best screen villain, Elizabeth Debicki (The Night Manager, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Widows) brings strength, poise and wounded integrity to the role of Sator’s estranged wife, Kat, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets to use his own accent for once as tough-as-nails British Intelligence officer Ives, while there are brief but consistently notable supporting turns and cameos from Martin Donovan, Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, Dirk Gently’s Fiona Dourif and, of course, Nolan’s good luck charm, Michael Caine.  The cast’s biggest surprise, however, is Robert Pattinson, truly a revelation in what has to be, HANDS DOWN, his best role to date, Neil, the Protagonist’s mysterious handler – he’s by turns cheeky, slick, duplicitous and thoroughly badass, delivering an enjoyably multi-layered, chameleonic performance which proves what I’ve long maintained, that the former Twilight star is actually a fucking amazing actor, and on the basis of this, even if that amazing new teaser trailer wasn’t making the rounds, I think the debate about whether or not he’s the right choice for the new Batman is now academic.  As we’ve come to expect from Nolan, this is a TRUE tour-de-force experience, a visual triumph and an endlessly engrossing head-scratcher, Nolan’s screenplay bringing in seriously big ideas and throwing us some major narrative knots and loopholes, constantly wrong-footing the viewer while also setting up truly revelatory payoffs from seemingly low-key, unimportant beginnings – this is a film you need to be awake and attentive for or you could miss something pretty vital. The action sequences are, as ever, second to none, some of the year’s very best set-pieces coming thick and fast and executed with some of the most accomplished skill in the business, while Nolan-regular cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar and Dunkirk, as well as the heady likes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, SPECTRE and Ad Astra) once again shows he’s one of the best camera-wizards in the business today by delivering some absolutely mesmerising visuals.  Notably, Nolan’s other regular collaborator, composer Hans Zimmer, is absent here (although he had good reason, since he was working on his dream project at the time, the fast-approaching screen adaptation of Dune), but Ludwig Göransson (best known for his collaborations with Ryan Coogler Fruitvale Station, Creed and Black Panther, as well as career-best work on The Mandalorian) is a fine replacement, crafting an intriguingly internalised, post-modern musical landscape that thrums and pulses in time with the story and emotions of the characters rather than the action itself. Interestingly it’s on the subject of sound that some of the film’s rare detractions have been levelled, and I can see some of the points – the soundtrack mix is an all-encompassing thing, and there are times when the dialogue can be overwhelmed, but in Nolan’s defence this film is a heady, immersive experience, something you really need to concentrate on, so these potential flaws are easily forgiven.  As a work of filmmaking art, this is another flawless wonder from one of the true masters of the craft working in cinema today, but it’s art with palpable substance, a rewarding whole that proved truly unbeatable in 2020 …

[moonflower-rose]

For your boredom asks! Do you fancy talking about your fic writing and reading habits? How do you decide what to write? What's your favourite thing about fandom? Do you plan or are you a pantser? What's your favourite fic? When did you start writing? (Just throwing these out there btw, feel free to ignore any or all!)

Firstly, thank you, omg. I needed something to focus on so much! This got loooooong. You are brilliant, thank you so much for asking.

I started writing in 2004 in terms of putting fic out there online, but I used to write RPF in high school about people in my year, lol, and there were dramatic readings held on the bus on the way home. Man, those were funny, I remember one of them was about two friends of mine who had very poorly disguised crushes on each other (no clue why they didn’t just get together) and the story was about one of them visiting the other one and they start to shag, and do so with such vigour that the floor collapses beneath them and their bed ends up in the living room downstairs. This one was extremely popular with the bus crowd, circa 1998. Looking back I think I’ve always used a fair amount of humour in my fic!

I’m not a good planner, I would LOVE to be a planner. I have a lot of ideas like literally all the time, and I keep track of them all using Trello, but I very rarely do any sort of genuine planning. I generally have a really persistent idea or scene that won’t leave me alone until I start writing it, and then wing it from there and hope my muse doesn’t abandon me in the middle. It causes all sorts of problem with writing myself into a corner or having to go back and re-read a million times to remind myself of plot details from the beginning. I think that’s why I don’t have more finished work or anything long - lack of planning!

As far as how I decide what to write, the ideas kind of decide for me because it either starts flooding out of me uncontrollably or its little sluggish trickles. The floods are so much more fun because my motivation is high, it feels great to be smashing out words, that makes more ideas flow, it’s like a huge buzz. The other kind is so painful, lol, like I desperately want to write the thing but the fact that it’s so difficult makes me want to lie down and sleep. Writing for fests is a lot easier, because there’s a deadline I have no control over that forces me to buckle down, and there’s a prompt to focus on which means I can’t procrastinate over my own ideas. I don’t know if that makes sense. It’s the structure I guess that helps me be productive. I have something like 20 WIPs of my own ideas because I lose focus, lol, but I’m determined to finish them all one day.

My fave thing about fandom is that other people have the same hyperfixation/s I do, and that we can lose our minds about them together. I have tried to talk to a couple of RL friends about fanfic and when I’ve had a successful (in my estimation!) piece, but they don’t get it, lol. Like, once someone bookmarked one of my fics and said something like it made them feel like their heart had been microwaved, and I loved that SO MUCH, and I told my work BFF who just looked confused. The pure joy of frantically exchanging DMs about something you’re obsessed with, to someone who is equally obsessed, ugh, such joy.

Fic reading habits - in the early days, I would read every new thing in whatever fandom I was in, literally every single one. But since my long fandom break (2012 to about 2017), it’s been more accidentally stumbling over things, or recs from people I’m following. Normally I start following people because of THEIR fic, so 99% of the time if they love something, I’m going to really enjoy it too. As soon as I find a fic I enjoy, I then read everything that author has written in a huge binge. I also tend check out their bookmarks as well. I find it very hard to stop when I’ve started, I will 100% start a 100K fic at midnight on a Monday with no sense of self preservation, and on occasion I have made excuses for RL activities so I can stay home and start/finish a fic, lol.

I truly could not pick a favourite fic, there are too many. I try to bookmark everything on AO3 because so many wonderful fics were lost on LJ with account deletions, and old archives going offline over the years. I can re-read Far From The Tree by aideomai a million times, and Only A Kiss by @writcraft breaks me into lil teeny pieces every time. Gosh there are just so many good things out there. Now I’m probably going to re-read Only A Kiss again, lol, whoops.

[popculty]

52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.) 

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT! 

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls. 

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

[youtiaoshutiao]

i just finished "the romance of tiger and rose" and i have nothing to watch now :( do you have any cdrama recs?

hello!!!! sorry i got to this a week late my tumblr is like... neglected currently

anyway i’m so glad u enjoyed tiger and rose!!! i love it so much too :D for cdrama recs, omg it really depends on what u’re looking for!!!! i find it so hard to narrow down dramas that are my faves to recommend because i actually watch very little HAHA and i only watch to completion dramas that i really like anyway xD anyway i’ll just list a few that i’ve watched recently (meaning like... from mid 2019 till now) and really enjoyed!!!

period dramas:

- joy of life 庆余年 (2019): hard to describe this tonally because it’s v irreverant and hilarious yet moving and deep and suspenseful?! the first 15 episodes are fun and enjoyable but i think i really really truly got into it after that and became invested 100%. in my eyes it felt like a fervent love poem to life and the human condition especially towards the end. the characters are all very fascinating and there’s a lot of twisty plot twists. excellent acting and script writing. only caveat is that it’s the first season out of a planned 3 season series so it ends on a cliffhanger, and the female lead doesn’t really have as much agency compared to the other supporting female characters (mainly due to her circumstances and the role she plays i guess).

- young blood 大宋少年志 (2019): YOOO THIS is a huge lovelovelove for me, you have the most lovable squad consisting of 6 very different and generally lonely teenagers who get roped into this secret services thing where they deal with top secret government plots and stuff. and they start off all on the wrong foot and grow to LOVE EACH OTHER and RELY ON EACH OTHER and HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. *sobs just thinking about it* has many supporting characters that are interesting and whom u also get invested in. It’s an original script written by Wang Juan 王倦 who also wrote the joy of life script, except young blood is 100% original and not adapted from a webnovel! just like tiger and rose’s script, which is also an original script written by Nan Zhen. this is SUPER SUPER rare nowadays in cdramaland which is why i stan these 2 dramas so hard hahaha. caveat: young blood also ends on a kind of cliffhanger/open ending, but it still felt like the arcs that the entire series covered in terms of character development were well completed so i was okay with it. plus there are lots of hints that there’s also gonna be a season 2, though I think Wang Juan is still writing the script for that.

- under the power 锦衣之下 (2019/2020): this is the drama that tiger and rose is sometimes compared to in terms of how it became so popular unexpectedly. i would wholeheartedly recommend this 100% solely for the OTP which is a Tsundere Embroidered Uniform Guard (Ming-dynasty secret police) ML x Bubbly/talkative/street smart Constable FL. they are SUPER SUPER cute and the leads (who are both my faves) play them super well and their romantic development is presented really organically. the outfits esp the male lead’s are A+++ also and make him look super super hot. i like the OST too. however everything else is quite mediocre lol especially the special effects and the meandering sideplots and there was a whole plot arc that didn’t really make much sense because a lot was edited out because of censorship. STILL VERY ADDICTIVE THO

- the story of ming lan 知否知否应是绿肥红瘦 (2018/2019): a very long drama (but quite normal by cdrama standards lol) basically about the ~journey~ and ~growth~ of our protagonist minglan, unfavoured daughter of a concubine of a relatively high ranking civil servant. it’s a very different vibe to a lot of other cdramas in that it’s very slice-of-life and slow paced, but i think it’s fascinating how it showcases how women deal and work with the internal dynamics of a household in a patriarchal society, and how that affects societal and political affairs as well. her OTP with an unfavoured son from another family (lol) is also very very delicious as it’s basically 2 people who have gone thru a lot of Trauma as children treasuring each other/learning that they too are treasured by the other and them building their own family and household against all odds and evil family members. it’s v long and slow paced as i mentioned earlier but it’s very very rewarding!! and i think many of my tumblr mutuals would agree it’s quite a favourite :D

modern dramas:

(i’ll admit that i’ve only had the brainspace the past 1 year for fluffy brainless modern dramas so all these are just for the FLUFF)

- skate into love 冰糖炖雪梨 (2020): uni drama where the FL re-picks up her true love speed skating after abandoning it for Reasons and gets back into it competitively. her OTP is her primary school deskmate who is an ice hockey player. the otp is very very fun!! the ML has a lot of resentment towards FL initially because FL was quite the bully in primary school but i really like how they resolved it and eventually the ML falls first and falls Really Really Hard and it is Delicious. the career aspects was quite well done also and i really rooted for the FL to rediscover her passion and pick it up again, and also for the ML to become better at his craft. caveat: i actually still have 10 episodes to go as i stalled because i know there’s a couple of episodes coming up that are going to be frustrating because of typical Misunderstanding and Miscommunication blablabla. but that’s pretty common lolol and overall it’s still a cute watch.

- the 致我们 series consisting of 3 dramas : 

1) a love so beautiful 致我们单纯的小美好 (2017): high school drama basically tsundere male lead x bubbly female lead, they’ve been classmates since young and are next door neighbours, female lead has a crush on him since forever

2) put your head on my shoulder 致我们暖暖的小时光 (2019): set in uni, female lead’s doing an internship far from her school, male lead is a physics student and his parents have a flat for him that is near female lead’s internship place, BAM THEY ARE FLATMATES!

3) the love equations 致我们甜甜的小美满 (2020): uni drama, female lead is a chinese language major who loves writing forensic novels online, male lead is a forensic science major.

all 3 are really cute lolol. i put these 3 because i just watched the third one two months ago and i feel like i have to mention it in the context of the first 2 haha. the first 2 were definitely hits both domestically and internationally. i feel the 3rd one kind of flopped? in terms of reception compared to the first 2 and a lot of my drama mutuals couldn’t get into it, and i can understand why because it did feel more unpolished? in terms of directorial choices/the editing/the acting/the script. but i still somehow really loved it for some reason, i think some parts of the ML’s life esp his relationship with his mum really resonated with me, and i loved FL and her friendships with her dormmates so so so so much. so i really rooted for the OTP.  i think objectively in terms of quality i would rate them 2 > 1 > 3, but in terms of feels... i loved them all. and it’s all just pure fluff anyway at the end of the day HAHA.

ok i’m running out of time writing this hehe but also a quick shoutout to my 2 favourite youth/high school dramas forever - With You 最好的我们 (2015) and My Huckleberry Friends 你好旧时光 (2017) which are sister dramas/set in the same universe and imo, are the pinnacle of youth dramas and what it means to capture the anxieties/stresses/mundane joys/pain/beauty of the Chinese/Asian high school experience. 

there are many others from before 2019 that i watched and enjoyed but i didn’t put them in hehe. and i’m sorry HAHA i actually don’t have much trust in my own taste LOL but i hope it helps!!

ohhhh and i’ve been trying to avoid starting on new dramas because of Exam Prep but there’s been SO MANY airing lately that i’ve been interested in:

The Bad Kids 隐秘的角落: apparently super well done suspense/thriller drama that’s receiving rave reviews everywhere!!

Love A Lifetime 暮白首: an original wuxia starring ren jialun (ML in under the power) whom i love so much and zhang huiwen

My Girl 99分女朋友: this is a modern day cdrama written by nan zhen!!! (who wrote tiger and rose) so i think it might be worth checking out :))

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Croatia brings no men in a hamster wheel to Rotterdam 2021

Now could this be the teddy bear uprising invasion Muse has warned us about 12 years ago?

And LITERALLY, these review series make me feel like Croatia is openly taunting me - I watch the days go, I’m losing track of time, and when another day comes, I’m screaming “oh no I forgot to publish a review sooner than wanted!!”. Guess I’m for one glad there’s a time related song this year, hum?

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Repping the Adriatic coast nation that got all the sea instead of Bosnia & Herzegovina is some 22 year old Albina Grčić, who first popped up on X Factor Adria back when that was a thing, and got lumped into a girlgroup in later stages, but to that she said “hvala ne” and moved on with her life, getting eliminated just like that. Queen <3 She did get her second chance to compete as a soloist and make a more prominent mark on her career when she ended up on The Voice in Croatia. She did well, placing third overall in the season, but somehow, during the duel stage, her coach initially favoured her fellow Dora 2021 contestant Filip Rudan:

Her Voice success landed her a record deal with the Croatian division of Universal Music, she released a debut single, sometime later ended up on Dora, and here she is now, on Eurovision.

“Tick-Tock” is the song, a standard upbeat pop song, and one of the ones that talks about a girl leaving a terrible relationship and being so well over it that she “found [her]self and [she’s] finally free”, and the “tick-tock” here is used to represent the time passing by, not the sound of her heart, unlike a fellow ESC entry of a similar title. The tune (or its lyrics only) is co-authored by some dude you might’ve heard of from France’s 2018 preselection Destination Eurovision, and that is Max Cinnamon - some half-English guy with a half English song about love (”Ailleurs”) that did moderately averagely in the final... I don’t even know if his influence shows, I just love how 2021 has sort of become revenge of the NF flops but they’re writing other entries instead (Suzi P, “Adrenalina”).

REVIEW

I often don’t really fully vibe with female bops in Eurovision as much as I want to, like, for the most part they’re overhyped, and I let the “yass queeeeen” audience gorge on the everything their favourite bops give them. But this year there are plenty of great ones to choose from, as I think that it’s safe to say that most, if not all, are tucked in somewhere inside my top 20, top 25 at the very minimum. Croatia managed to even do the impossible and land into my top 10.

Why?

Well, the answer is that the song is just so damn good.

I mean, what’s NOT to like about it? It’s a catchy and upbeat song that incorporates xylophones (or whatever is it that sounds like them), guitars and synths; has a good bassline in the chorus; and it’s just... a very good composition overall, like, all the instruments in it are just in their right place and uplift the song massively. I also like Albina’s performance on it, both live and studio, it clearly shows that she’s a very good singer (also shown on her cover of the scandalous Oscar award snubbery “Husavik”). Sounds like a song a common pop loving Eurofan could gear themselves towards. Besides, it also has possibly my favourite pre-chorus section of the 2021 year? Oh wait, there’s also Switzerland, scratch that. “Tick-Tock” has one of my favourite pre-chorus sections of 2021. It builds up so well instrumentally and the way Albina sings it is even better. I obviously like to believe Albina heard those voices from far away that helped her to escape, has found herself, and she’s finally free from her “partner’s” bad lovin’ and restraint. Yas queen go be free you didn’t deserve his tomfoolery anyway!  👏 (Also I admire a section that’s not quite the pre-chorus but is still before the 1st chorus, the one that goes “If you pull me down then I'll come around” - literally just a lot of the parts of the song are full of nice vocal performance and I don’t regret ranking this in my top 10 not a second.)

If it has any drawbacks, it’s just that it gets a tad too repetitive after the halfway mark... like, the pre-chorus before the second chorus is the one to be repeated once again, and no new verse, nothing - but it does launch itself into something extraordinary, and that is a chorus in Croatian, which I assume she would perform in Eurovision because there’s no Eurovision version on the song promo bundle, I suppose. Comparatively the Croatian chorus is not as complex in lyrics as the English language one, and flows slightly differently too. But the song still has a long chorus by the end, and song with too many choruses is never a good sign for those that look for a song that’s constructed well, but I guess it’s a good factor for those that value the song’s catchiness. I guess that’s what one of the two Eurovision 2005 hosts valued the most when writing the Ukrainian 2006 entry “Show Me Your Love”, which if you ask me, is straight up 75% chorus, lol.

So yeah my verdict is that almost everything about this song, I like. I’m just a little devastated that in a usually very easily gorged on category of female bops, this just tends to lag behind in love, like a fellow song I really like this year, Israel. Instead people tend to prioritize Cyprus (which I get because they’ve established themselves as a girlbanger nation since Fuego swept Eurovision) and... probably even Azerbaijan? (which I might also get because Eurovision rarely has this thing called an ethnobop anymore, and it has more ethno than “Cleopatra” did, but still unnecessarily underwhelming lol.) Well then, in a year of female bangers, I would just like Croatia to not be swept under the rug come semis I guess. Yeah “Tick-Tock” may not sound like it brings something totally never seen before in a Eurovision environment (foreign language lyrics, themes about a break up, hell even her dancers looked like they were wearing the same hats as Tamta’s dancers), but you got to have a lot in you to sell a worn out idea to the new heights, and Albina does exactly that in my eyes.

Approval factor: Yeah! There is a lot of it in here for me. Follow-up factor: A great follow-up, not so great in regards to panini but musically it’s just going up and up from what we had in the past few years. I’ve actually not minded “The Dream” for the most part but I knew it was a chanceless plodding ballad and Roko harboured heaps of wasted potential working with Jacques Houdek and having wings as part of his performance, uff. *_* And then there’s “Divlji vjetre” which I also like a lot - a much better male ballad winner choice! If the Dora re-up winners keep being decent imo just like this, I have a feeling I will follow it a lot more often than I did just this one time this year. I am just saying that panini-wise, it was a sucky move from HRT for not allowing their last year’s winner promote his new song with Tijana (from Serbia 2017) on the Dora night, so we sadly only heard a pre-recorded opening version of “Divlji vjetre” to start off with :( Otherwise I think it’s not Dora’s fault in itself that Damir himself chose not to even submit an entry this year because he hadn’t found a good one - much like with Diodato for Sanremo (he was NOT rejected, if you think he still was, shush). But aside that, musically, it just keeps going up for me. Well done Croatia, for you’ve used to be a Eurovision country I don’t necessarily care about, that you brought two pretty damn good entries in a row. Qualification factor: I can absolutely trust in Albina bringing in a little bit of her charisma and well-likedness, and on top of that, a great vocal performance, in Rotterdam. Don’t ask me why, I just do. She doesn’t really perform her song live on pre-parties as much as I’d like to hope she would, but you heard girlie on the national selection, she didn’t win for nothing. Yeah yeah there might as well be female uptempo songs hungrier for the last spot, but I’d like to think Albina is one of the ones ready to devour than to be devoured. Go girl! Take us all dancing!

NF CORNER

To be honest with you, “Tick-Tock” winning Dora caught me by surprise. Ever since its re-up, the last two editions were kind of won by male ballads, and maaaaybe the dancey females were doing moderately well enough for themselves, but not overall? But look, juries were very keen on Albina, probably because she can SANG and she creates one hell of a fancy presence on her performance. And somehow she ended up snatching a win out of the hands of 5G conspiracy theorist 2016 representative Nina Kraljić, who was at first too drunk to care, but too unexpectedly sober to yell all over the soc. media how she was robbed and how the contest was rigged against her with her being on first and all that. Which is a shame that she is one of THOSE people, because her NF entry “Rijeka” is kinda nice? We did have the Balkan-esque ballads coming from Croatia in recent memory, but we haven’t had a truly proudly folksy one at that from Croatia for a long while, if not ever. Nina could’ve very well brought that to Rotterdam (and another mismatched wardrobe choice oops). But instead she was the one screaming “oh no, oh no, oh no”.

Actually I regarded Nina as one of my faves pre-show, and Albina was on her way, though she didn’t really cement the personal fav status until after all performances, thus making Nina and Albina switch spots for me. But truly, the one song that was my top favourite, iiiiiiiiiiis

GIMME AN OCEAN! OF LOVE!

2021 made me realize that damn, maybe anything that’s funky is my favourite music genre afterall. Up until then I vibed with entries like “Tonight Again” and “What’s the Pressure?” that had this sort of energetic flair and very rhythmic kinda sound to it, but 2021 just simply cemented it to me that my music world has probably been about nice and smooth and funky all along. I owe so much gratitude to ToMa first and foremost along the lines of more to have come in this year’s lineups - I just can’t not want to dance to “Ocean of Love”, and ToMa is quite alright at selling it live as well. There are small gripes with some instrument usages but that doesn’t detract from the fact that I love love LOVE funky guitar tunes.

Aside from that, I can give shout outs to Beta Sudar, whose song not only was underrated, but also had an underrated meme format throughout its performance:

My other props go to Bernarda, who not only competed in a national selection singing a song about seeing “Colors” while blind (and ironically there was a song called “Blind” in that same NF sung by a well-seeing guy!!), but also for finally putting this every country’s reject to rest. Seriously. That particular song was passed on to everyone in need of a competitive Eurovision bop, from Poli Genova to Helena Paparizou as of recently. Oh well, at least the song died a honourable death - well performed slice of good typical Eurovision pop (maybe even overperformed a little towards the end), that got a good rank with the regional juries, but somewhat murdered in televote, fellow Boris Milanov composition “Chameleon” style.

This one Mia Negovetić chick was promising too! Her song was written by the Debs and you might be tired of them trying to continue infiltrating Eurovision at this point, but a lot of their Eurovision songs are usually something I enjoy, “She’s Like a Dream” is no exception. Nothing but 3 minutes of pastel-dressed Croatian Ariana Grande doing what she does best <3

Oh and also some dudes tried to play chess on stage too I guess. But their song is not worth looking into, because one of the acts on it is apparently also a conspiracist, and maybe because oft this their entry is aptly titled “Sing, for the freedom has arrived!” lol I wonder what exactly is the kind of freedom you’re thinking of my guy

Was this the “better mood game” Laura was warning everyone about? Beats me

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

• It’s still hilarious to me as to how one of the acts this year, Brigita Vuco, was planning to bring in backing dancers, only for them to show a fake COVID test or something and outright BARRED from coming with her on stage. <3 Whatever she intended to do with them dancers, I have absolutely no idea, but at least she committed to her song being about drunken nights visually by having all these blurry shots

• Nina Kraljić’s greenroom shenanigans, from the “1-2-3, 1-2-3, drink” to numb the sadness over some results (and the 8 she got from the region Rijeka for the song “Rijeka” lmao), to whatever she saw on the phone that made her smile or go neutral

• Greenroom reactions in general. I swear, this year had cameramen in every single corner everywhere just to make sure something covers up for a human audience instead of severals of Zoom screens permitted to act as an audience. Random people in greenrooms were doing some sort of emotions after random acts, and also randomly they ended up pointing a camera towards an act that lost, but the act didn’t treat losing as if it were such a big deal <3

• All the other memes the Croatian Twitter might’ve noticed me for:

seriously Bernarda was locked in a bluelight mathematical dice contraption. how fucking cool is that

ANY LAST WORDS?

I just fucking hope that Albina shatters any doubts that people have had about her song come rehearsals, and somehow Croatia AND Israel slip through, because never too many female bangers I appreciate in the final, if they all are the bangers I appreciate, lol.

[nothingunrealistic]

naturally was going "hmm what kind of fins (fish) would young taylor in the bathtub wish for. how would we know what they think would be the best fish tail to have" & then was just thinking of Younger Taylor Hcs just in general. got any you'd wanna share, or like, any faves from what's been provided either as unofficial ideas or via those glimpses of info in the show's text. Fave can be in a "truly enjoy this" way & or simply more of a "truly Thinking About This An Extra Lot" sense lol. They

Boy Do I… first, a listing of everything we Know from canon about their childhood / early life / family:

taylor grew up in “a place like” connerty’s small apartment where “the heat pipes bang practically all night” in the winter [2x11]

taylor’s mom would deem the apartment they rented for her & douglas too expensive, and if she & douglas were shopping for furniture, they’d argue about how much things cost [4x07]

taylor never thought they’d be thinking about living a life where they book private jets [2x09]

the masons’ home is hundreds of miles from any body of water (as shown here) and douglas had to fly to nyc to see taylor [4x03]

douglas figures taylor’s mom won’t miss him getting in her way back home [4x03]

taylor has a sister; when she gets married, in michigan, taylor is part of the wedding party [2x09]

at a young age, taylor was always measuring information around them, and sweet / affectionate, especially toward douglas [4x03]

taylor’s favorite cereal as a kid was frosted flakes [4x09]

taylor was never really douglas’s “little girl” like he claims [4x03]

the first time douglas brought taylor to his lab, it meant a lot to them, and the next day they gave him designs to remake it [4x06]

douglas taught taylor: “don’t just have an idea, build the model that proves it” [4x07]

according to douglas, taylor gets the “unyielding compulsion to get it right” from him, and their relationship was best when they “kept things mathematical” [4x03]

douglas wishes he could have built real wealth / success and given it all to taylor [4x03]

wendy mentions to taylor that douglas has “exploited your need for his approval,” and taylor agrees that douglas only cares about his own advancement rather than being a father first [4x07]

douglas dislikes the military / the government [4x06]

taylor is surprised by douglas quoting a pop song [4x07]

when taylor was younger, the bathtub was the only place they could go to be alone and think, and they’d press their legs against the sides hard enough to make them go numb [3x11]

taylor started playing online poker at age 12 under the screen name ZackCody892 and played up to 16 tables at a time (and for thousands of hours) [2x03]

douglas was fired from his job at an aerospace firm when taylor was in 7th grade. this firing damaged their relationship with him and “affected the home life.” for years, taylor thought douglas had been fired so that the firm could steal his invention, and only found out the truth from his personnel file [2x11, 4x05, 4x06]

taylor has had 927 hours of therapy prior to their session with dr. gus, and that number hasn’t changed at their first session with wendy [2x03, 2x08]

douglas, in bringing taylor food and coffee, claims they rarely take the time to look after themself [4x04]

taylor used to lie to themself and others but is now past that, and knows “how hard it is to have things inside you that you can’t communicate” and “what it’s like to face public scrutiny over who you are” [2x08, 3x02, 4x04]

when taylor reminds douglas about their pronouns, he says “this talk again?”, implying it’s a discussion they’ve had before [4x03]

taylor once got into a bar fight with a high school classmate (it’s unclear whether they were still in high school at the time) after seeing y tu mamá también in a theater [5x07]

taylor was active in occupy wall street in college [2x10]

taylor played poker in college against classmates, grad students, & professors, but their opponents kicked them out for winning too much; additionally, the competitive aspect made them sick (described as “malaise” or “vertigo-like symptoms”) [2x03, 4x12]

taylor planned to go to chicago for grad school and study with eugene fama [2x02]

mafee picked taylor as his intern because they were the only applicant who wasn’t boring / didn’t care about the same bullshit that everyone from wharton or harvard did [5x04]

douglas initiated the visit to taylor, claiming it was because he’d missed them, after not being ready to see them even though taylor’s mother wanted to visit countless times [4x03, 4x07]

taylor is trying to be “everything to their father” in funding his company, and neither of them will be able to come back from taylor being forced to betray him [4x06, 4x07]

wow that’s a long list. and now, my own thoughts and extrapolations:

taylor grew up somewhere in the west / midwest with their parents and sister, who’s a few years older than them, in a house small enough that they had to share a bedroom with her. hence, needing to hide out in the bathtub to get any space & time alone.

from very early on, taylor was douglas’s favorite child and he was their favorite parent — douglas saw taylor’s intelligence & insight (and saw himself in them) and chose to put time & effort into teaching / guiding / molding them, hoping they’d one day follow in his footsteps / support his ambitions, and taylor liked that attention & recognition. (douglas’s attitude toward taylor’s sister is essentially “well she’s here too i guess.”)

douglas taught taylor enough about aerospace engineering & mathematics for them to understand the value of his lattice fin concept, and to generally have a better grasp of engineering concepts than your average (even very well-read) business major / financier. (remember how rebecca knew a robot’s “proprietary” power source was a combustion engine because her father was a mechanic? same deal here. see also: the “smash electronics apart to find the microchips inside and figure out who makes them” strategy; taylor comparing losing grigor’s money to building a turbo engine and having the nitrous tank blow up in their face.) this manifested in both directly teaching them in his lab and in playing games like the silverware-stacking game we see in 4x03, or like douglas throwing out math problems for taylor to solve on the spot, or the two of them solving math problems together.

douglas also imparted his taste in music (which does not include anything new / popular) to taylor, though their taste as an adult (or even as, like, a teenager) isn’t identical to his. this is how they discovered rush in the first place and why they have such strong opinions about The Best Rush Albums. (if douglas had such a ranking, it’d be closer to axe’s than to taylor’s.)

listening to rush helped make taylor a libertarian 😔 that’s just life when you’re a neil peart stan, which of course they are. they admire his lyrics + his drumming talent + his absolute poker face in performances.

douglas also taught taylor to play blackjack, which inspired them to go and learn poker on their own and start playing online. they tried to keep it a secret, but it's hard to be secretive about spending hours a day playing online poker on the family computer. (this is 2006 or so, after all.)

taylor figured out that they were Not A Girl (or at least had thoughts of “hm i don’t enjoy being addressed / perceived as A Girl”) fairly young but didn’t acquire a concrete vocabulary for / specific understanding of that for some time. (if douglas is calling they/them pronouns “that woke stuff” in 2019, he sure wasn’t saying anything clear or favorable about trans people in 2009 or 1999. ditto for online poker sites.)

douglas’s firing exacerbated every negative aspect of the mason family dynamic. he doubled down on pushing taylor toward his field, urging them to succeed where he’d failed, and warning them against letting anyone Steal Their Value. money got tighter, taylor’s parents argued more, and any activities taylor was in (like, say, swimming at the ymca) that required payment got cut; they may have figured out how to make money (illegally!) from online poker at this point. the combined stress of financial instability, being torn between pursuing their own ambitions and fulfilling douglas’s expectations for them, and increasing Gendered Expectations in general — plus the whole “playing online poker for hours a day” thing — probably put taylor in therapy within a few months, if they weren’t in therapy already. (how did their parents pay for it? i don’t know either.)

stealing this from that interview asia & brian & david did in 2017: if taylor had not already taught themself to think and speak directly & incisively and look people in the eye when they talk, et cetera, it started here, whether in therapy or on their own time.

taylor went to college in new york city. douglas did not want them to do this, for a number of reasons, and would have preferred they stick closer to home (and study something other than finance), but doing so would have made them miserable.

by the time they finished high school (circa 2012), taylor had properly heard of trans people and figured that they were somehow One Of Them, but not until college did they hear of people being nonbinary and go “ohhhh yeah that’s me.” (they’d also gotten a Short Haircut in high school, but didn’t go full buzzcut until college. unsurprisingly, they got some shit in high school for being Visibly gnc.)

for some period of time while figuring out their gender situation, taylor went by the name neil as a nod to neil peart. (it’s fun to imagine that they still have a faceless twitter / tumblr account where they go by neil. doubles as a way to prevent anyone connecting it to their real life.)

taylor came out to their family while in college. their mom and sister had fairly similar reactions of “well i don’t Get this exactly, but i love you and want to support you and i’m sure you know what you're talking about better than i do and you did clearly hate it every time i urged you to conform to Standards Of Womanhood so sure i can call you Them and my [child / sibling] :)” given some time to think about it. douglas… well. if he’s starting from a place of “i don’t get this,” he’ll end up at “so it must be wrong and stupid, because i’m always right,” especially if This = his favorite child being different in some significant way from who / what he thought they were. obviously he doesn’t react well or supportively, and the strain in his relationship with taylor tips over into full-blown estrangement. bad times for everyone.

if taylor’s bar fight happened when they were old enough to legally enter a bar, it happened after coming out to their family (also after the live poker fiasco), and before making plans for grad school / internships. most likely it was on a summer break they were spending back in their hometown. (another fun thought: taylor seeing the video of axe punching a guy, just weeks after they punched a guy, and going “well maybe i should work for him.”)

if douglas was at taylor’s sister’s wedding (and maybe he wasn’t!), it was awkward for everyone when he and taylor crossed paths again. barest of pleasantries, passive-aggressive comments, et cetera. naturally, it took a few more years — and douglas realizing that taylor, now being fairly wealthy and successful, could probably fund his dream project if they didn’t hate him — for him to decide to visit them.

[happyclown]

 ❝ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐬 ❞

she needs someone to tell her that it’s okay to be sad. someone who will hold her hand when she’s crying. someone who will listen to her rant about her favorite movies. someone kind. someone who makes her not want to let go of their hand (unless it’s sweaty ew gross). 

Clary Wiggins is looking for someone who’s willing to teach her how to properly love someone with passion and kindness.

𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬’ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐭 │ 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 │ 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝

𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞, 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Clarissa Margo Wiggins 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐀𝐠𝐞: 03/20/1995 — 25 years old 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬: Moon Elf 𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭: 5′8  𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐎𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Pansexual 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫/𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬: Female — She/Her 𝐎𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐆𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤: Magizoologist 

𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬:

1. 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲 — a shortened form of her name; everyone calls her this. 2. 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 — her granny’s fave and only nickname for her.

𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐝𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬:

1. “I have two fur kids and they’re both exhausting.” — Being a magizoologist, Clary has taken in many animals to rehabilitate them and then release them back into the wild; but sometimes, that doesn’t always happen. She has two derpy companions: Cricket the Caracal & Percy (Percival) the Fox. She loves both of them very dearly. They follow her everywhere.

2. “What is love truly like? Seriously.”— After getting dumped, Clary has basically put love and relationships off the table. When she was with her ex, she had fallen out of love with them a while back, but clung to the relationship as a safety net for comfort. When her ex dumped her, they told her that they knew the spark was gone. Both of them were clinging to a relationship that was going nowhere.

3. “Butterflies??”— Clary knew that her past relationship was going nowhere, but she can be a creature of habit sometimes. She liked the comfort of having person by her side. In the end though, her ex was better off as a friend than a romantic partner. Clary has never really felt “butterflies” for anyone in her previous relationships. They were all relationships of convenience and proximity. Now that she’s single, she’s been reflecting back on them realizing how passive she’s been. She’s scared she won’t ever find someone who makes her feel butterflies.

4. “They are the ones that saved me.”— Clary likes to think that helping animals was always her calling. She can’t see herself doing anything else. When she was younger, she found a lot of comfort in animals books and her favorite plushies. Her father was also a well known magizoologist so she grew up taking care of animals. Her work comes before anything else; well maybe except her family lol.

5. “Omg this is my song!!”— If there is one thing Clary loves more than animals and her family, it’s dancing. If she hears a good tune, she can’t help but move her body. Sometimes if it’s too good of a tune, she’ll start busting out moves. She’s the type to dance in the middle of the supermarket if she hears a good song come on. She can dance to literally anything.

6. “Are you a robot or something?”— Clary is good at many things: her job, being a decent person, and much more. Her only weakness is that she hates showing her emotions. She doesn’t like showing any negative emotions to people because it feels strange to tell people, “hey i’m like super sad and got my ass dumped like a month ago. oh sorry too much?”. In her department, she is considered to be the standard for many of the other magizoologists there. She’s so afraid of making a mistake that she works herself to death. People need to tell her to chill lol.

7. “What are you doing!”— Clary is very very shy when it comes to affection. In her past relationships, it took like three months into the relationship for anything to really happen. Besides her granny, her family is not affectionate at all. She feels really awkward giving hugs. She secretly loves affection (think hand holding and soft touches), but is very nervous when it comes to initiating. It takes time to win her heart. Someone teach this girl how to love omg wtf.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

➊ 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲? “Uhm, I’m Clary...unless there’s another Clary.”

➋ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲? “Uhm, once again, I’m Clary.”

➌ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞? “I really like fun dates where you get to know the person better. Dates like having a picnic, watching movies at a drive-in theatre, exploring a museum— stuff like that is nice. I really like having quality time with people. I just want to be next to them, you know. I wanna soak up their presence and talk about stupid topics like how a cat named Stubbs was the mayor of a small town in Alaska until 2017. RIP Stubbs, I miss you buddy!”

➍ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩? “Well, almost all of my past relationships were not great, hahaha. It was definitely me though. I have a hard time opening up to people. Some people just aren’t patient enough and get tired of me, you know. It’s sad, but hey that’s life. Anyways, I’m rambling. My ideal relationship would obviously be one where both partners are equal. I want a relationship that makes me feel giddy every time I see them. I know relationships aren’t all about romance and tender moments, but a girl can dream.”

“Besides being a hopeless romantic like myself, it would be lovely if my partner was someone who enjoyed the tiny things in life. I can be quite self-deprecating to the point it’s almost self loathing so someone who tells me to knock it off with that shit would be nice. I want someone who loves me for me, flaws and all.”

➎ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞? “Hmm, some self introspection, huh? love that. Well, let’s see...On the outside, many people have told me that I’m very helpful and kindhearted. I love helping people. It just comes naturally. It feels strange not to be like “hey there buddy, need some help?”. Maybe it’s just me. I’m not nice all the time though, that’s just not realistic. I’m very introverted and love my alone time. I often need space from others to reflect and examine my emotions. Because of this, I have a tendency to push people away sometimes— not intentionally of course, but it happens.”

“Nobody really knows this, but I’m a total softie. I cry a lot. I think it’s because I care about people too much. I know I don’t show it on my face, but on the inside, i’m always freaking out about something. I’m a huge worry wart, it’s almost a problem. Good thing, I keep it to myself haha. I’m also someone who overthinks way too much. I’m quite erratic with my emotions, more mentally than physically.”

“At the end of the day, I’m just a worrying pushover who’s a HUGE ride or die for people. I can seem robotic at times due to my poker face, but please know I’m silently worrying about you. I have emotions. I’m more quiet around crowds, but when around close friends, I’m screaming like a banshee about who I hate the most in Tiger King.” 

*For any peeps applying, you can literally copy and paste this and use it as a template.