#22 i was pretty normal i think. not apologizing for that yet

[gooferdusted]

very scary that I've been posting on here for almost a decade. I don't even like what I said when I was 20, how can u expect me to stand by my 14 yr old selfs opinions

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 22 - Part 2

Lest you've lost your way, click here to progress (regress?) back to Part 1.

...Okay, now I'm officially worried.

Meanwhile, back in the Real World™️ (shout-out to my buddy @kantochampred!):

Alright, I'm about to go off on a small side tangent here but I promise it's worth it-

(Sorry to post your sins on main, Red 😔)

(Why Do I Climb the Mountain? is a reference btw)

LMAO OKAY thank you for bearing with me, now back to the main show:

Good job, neither of those two things is correct!

...Okay, Cherrim has replaced Drifblim, yes, but. Imagine this tiny seed holding Teresa and Andrea by their little stubby hands while riding the wind down the mountain.

I had to look up a walkthrough to identify that little Riolu to the right. Normally, that's an Exeggcute! (And the backup for Team Frontier, apparently).

The Third Station Pass was dubbed Great Turn, while the clearing was called:

Admittedly, I had no idea what an "oubliette" was, so I did a quick search and...

Wait a minute, are you freaking kidding me-

WE ARE STARRING IN A WAR DRAMA AAAAAAAAAAAA-

(Apologies for the small text at the start, let me know if I need to add an image description!)

...No >:l

The only reason I left this in is because this happened:

Oh my God yes PLEASE-

So fun fact, I actually did a dry run of the first few dungeons before doing it for real and taking photos. And the first time around, this gift was an Escape Orb? Which isn't bad, but I would 100% take the Reviver Seed over that any day.

The 4th Station Pass was named Sad Peninsula. (Florida? Dat you?) And the 4th Station Clearing? See below.

But then!

(Handsome Desolation? Is this where the handsome men in uniform... perish?! 😓)

I feel like a large, prehistoric rock dino should be enough to scare most things, but I guess taking the even larger rock snake as backup can't hurt.

So we go through the 5th Station Pass, Sandy Way... (Only one letter different from Sandy Bay.)

I. Don't remember why I took a picture of this. The downfalls of not immediately composing posts after the playthrough...

But yeah, those giant two-room dungeons with guaranteed MH's and a huge mass of enemies in the other room aside is definitely a theme and I hate it.

Andrea consumed enough Gummis to obtain this IQ skill, which is awesome since Max Elixirs are so hard to come by.

Look at this!! I'm pretty sure Blizzard only had 7 PP before! Yee haw!

I wonder which Pokémon are the ones bothering Sneasel Pichu?

OH NOOO!! I'm imagining this grisly scene where all these Combusken are just pecking Pichu to death.

Team Frontier happens to beat us to the punch:

I love that Onix is so big that she blocks Nidoran F.

Like all territorial encroachments in Mystery Dungeon, everyone just jumps right into the fray without listening to anyone 🙄

Honestly, all of Team Frontier was pretty based. Jolteon had an ability that allowed him to attack twice in a row (I think because the weather was different?) and he consistently used X-Scissor. Nidoran F had Sesimic Toss (55 damage) and Ice Beam. Deoxys had Attack Order, Seed Flare, Rock Wrecker(!), and Swift, the last hitting for 120 damage on a critical. Combined with Teresa's Chatter (when we finally got there, because you start off a ways from everyone), they didn't stay up for much longer.

Also Jolteon shielded me when Teresa got low on HP 🥺️

"SIT DOWN FOR TWO SECONDS AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, I SWEAR TO ARCEUS!"

"We owe you..." -> Yet another line from this game that never made any sense to me. (Unless it was sarcasm ig?)

💀You what

Hey, speaking of... I know Onix is huge and all, but have y'all seen Pichu since the fight started...?

(Beep boop, click here to advance to Part 3)

[killerandhealerqueen]

12, 15, 16, 22, 26 and 34! <3

Holly my beloved! Thank you!

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

Ooo...I'm excited about a lot of wips, but I think one of my wips that I'm excited for (that we'll see if I actually get to) is my Black Butler au for Killer and Healer. After watching the first episode of the Public School arc, I remembered how much I loved Black Butler and I thought that it would make a fun au. I'd probably do what I did for my Spy x Family au and just stick to the first season, as it has the episodes that I'd want to write about. I've also kinda figured out who would be who...so if I ever get around to it, it'll be really fun

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

I don't think any of the fandoms I've written for are weird, tbh

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

I don't think any of my tropes are guilty pleasures...I'm not ashamed to read what I read

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes. Most times I'll just listen to my normal playlist while writing but sometimes when I'm writing an important scene, I'll turn my music off so I can concentrate and get the words out

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

I want to try and write my PacRim au for Killer and Healer and I'm not scared (as it hasn't been done yet for K&H I've checked) but I've never written a PacRim au before, so I have to figure out how to do that. (But that's a later au problem)

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

This is from Chapter 37 of my fic 恨君不似江楼月 | Killer and Healer

Back in the morgue, Chen Yuzhi continued to look at Keying’s burnt body before he reached into his pocket and pulled out her little butterfly clip, staring at it for a moment before he carefully and gently placed it into Keying’s hair, his hands trembling the entire time.  Once the clip was in her hair, he smiled weakly.          “There…don’t you look pretty, A-Ying?” he murmured before he reached up to gently stroke her hair.  As he stroked her hair, more tears streamed down his cheeks and he shook his head, trying to stop himself from crying, before he let out a shuddering breath and leaned down, placing the gentlest of kisses to her forehead.          “Goodnight, A-Ying.  Sleep well.  Gege loves you” he whispered before he pulled away and carefully covered her face with the sheet.  He then carefully pushed her tray back into the refrigerator and shut the door before he turned and numbly walked out of the morgue, causing Jiang Yuelou, who had been sitting on the bench outside with his head in his hand, to shoot to his feet and look over at him with wide eyes as he slowly made his way towards him.  When he finally stopped before him, Jiang Yuelou shook his head.          “I’m sorry.  The killer came for me, and I got Keying involved” he apologized.           “Though you say you’re sorry, would Keying still be alive?” Chen Yuzhi hissed, rage burning in his tear-filled eyes.  Jiang Yuelou looked at him before he lowered his gaze.          “I’m sorry” he repeated, his words full of tears.

I'm fond of this scene because in the drama, Chen Yuzhi just places the butterfly clip into Keying's hair before he places her back into the morgue refrigerator. But here, I've added more dialogue to not only make it more angsty but I feel like Chen Yuzhi would tell Keying that he loves her before he places her back into the refrigerator, not just place her in there without saying goodbye/goodnight, you know?

35 Questions for Fanfiction Writers! ✨ | send me asks

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Hi, I apologize for the anon, too much going on… Reg the latest Spiegel/girl story, I agree with you on most points. The one I’m debating a bit is that ±18-30 is not the same as 15-47. I’m younger than you and the Ramm boys but I’m past my 40s. 17 years still seems plenty to me in a 42-60 scenario, and we’re talking experienced adults here. I personally cannot imagine a 30+ diff… I didn’t go through a wide age gap experience like you and others, the closer I got to that was when I was 15 and he was 21. The age gap was not that big but the exp level diff was HUGE. I was not in love and he didn’t push into anything but had he or had I been the story would have been diff. The other side of it was when I was with a guy 10 years my junior (32-22). It was a physical thing but when I found out later I was like, that’s pretty effing young! If the girl was 15 and in love then her consent was biased at best. She was led on to something she probably wanted, even if she didn’t know what it was she wanted exactly. But led on she was. My point is, he was 47 and you and I both know he knew better. Would he do the same today? Idk, maybe, maybe not, but it’s irrelevant. And this is also not a moral issue imo. This is about being so sexually driven that a 15 yo in a family/friends vacation retreat is still game. I’m intentionally putting it like this because we also know this was not about romance or idllic love affairs. He should have been the better man. He should have told her to wait. Her age was not ok yet. The setting was not ok. But he didn’t. I’m all for sexual freedom with no moral issues so long it’s between consenting adults. Was it illegal? Not in DE. Is that really the only parameter we should look into? I think not. I also want it to be clear I love our Ramm boys, and I love Till, but that does not make me blind to some very debatable choices he has made/is making. That said, if the woman was hurt by all this and is now coming into that realisation, bringing this up now and the way she did it is very low level. If there were issues to solve she should have taken care of that privately especially as someone who actually has connections to him/them. The timing is too convenient even if the latest months accusations were the trigger. There’s no excuse here either. Considering the whole thing, a private discussion was the only way to go imo. We can only guess at her reasons for going at it the way she did. Another thing, I think it’s wishful thinking that Till would act differently today. If not for anything else, some fear of another shitstorm might do the trick, but something tells me that would be the only reason. I may be wrong ofc, but like I mentioned, he does seem to be very sexually driven, and if his own moral is not at stake then it’s game on. And this is exactly why all the past months shit came to be. He’s very much responsible even if innocent of most of the accusations.

Thank you for your reply 🌺

i agree that especially at teen age, a few years make a big difference

To be clear, it *is* still just a story by Der Spiegel, so we are not certain if and of yes, what, exactly happened.

My personal feeling is that i can't offhand dismiss it as 'cannot have happened.. from friends of Till candidly sharing some snaps or clips of jetsetting across the world, we often see an entourage of 'older' men and 'younger' women (although adults), and that seems pretty normal in that world, so for some reason i see it as a pretty small leap from that to a story like this.

I know Till isn't bothered by the stories and makes jokes about them on stage and that is his choice.

But in private i indeed hope that, especially if a case like this one with the 'best friend' has some core of truth, that a reaching out is happening and the story treated as serious as the woman needs. Even if not all of it is reality, a best friend deserves to be heard.

🌺

[wvsteria]

so this is just going to be a plotting call!!! i will not be doing any starter calls. the threads will be transitioned afterwards. but if there’s a new pairing that we want to put together then we can split up starters and talk about that then! this is mostly to highlight what’s happened to the muses and what their general vibes are now. 

aj campos  / crush / 19 / aware / paired w maxine baker

aj is pretty emotionally scared, but like who isn’t at this point? maybe their art will be pretty dark for a while. they still really like max and understand it’s not their fault but they’re a bit weary now about any friendships/relationships going forward. she’s recoiled quite a bit for an already reserved person. 

alaric saltzman / vampire diaries / 34 / aware / paired w josette laughlin

alaric hates that he even wanted to hurt jo. he’s probably going to be drinking again for a bit to drown his sorrows. working later nights to try and distract himself from the realities of what took over him. 

antonia dreykov / marvel / 25 / aware / randomized w jacob hill

antonia is also traumatized. big shock, right? she hates that she was so easily taken advantage of again. it brought her right back to when she was a kid. her recluse state is now just going back to being kind of mean and off-handed for a while until she can be convinced that she’s not just a killing machine.

azula / avatar: the last airbender / 22 / unaware / paired w ty lee

azula actually feels really bad that she just killed someone. she wasn’t in control of her actions and would never (while unaware) want to really hurt someone in that way. they be trying to do some atonement. their version of it at least. 

bucky barnes / marvel / 32 / not aware / paired w emmeline vance

hasn’t happened yet. it’s going to be very jarring when he wakes up with all his memories. dealing with the winter soldier’s memories as well as his own... it’ll be a very hard pill to swallow. 

calcifer / howl’s moving castle / 25 / unaware / unaffected

calcifer is in a state of wtf just happened- but mostly not much has changed for them. lol

callie torres / grey’s anatomy / 39 / unaware / unaffected

callie is wishing they never left new york at this point. but they’re just going to continue to work hard and try not to die :D

catra / she-ra / 25 / unaware / randomized w emily fitch

catra is also mostly unbothered tbh. they don’t really care about what they did. they feel a little bad but like... no one was permanently harmed so who cares? 

cindy berman / fear street part II / 25 / not aware / paired w npc

hasn’t happened yet. cindy is kinda in shock about learning/remembering what happened to her. she’s probably called out of work for like a week. hiding in her apartment and processing and crying about her sister. 

dani powell / prodigal son / 32 / aware / paired w malcolm bright 

dani has thrown herself into her work, trying to prove to themselves that they’re a good person. or trying to make up for what she thought she did. otherwise... probably avoiding malcolm like the plague frfr. she’s a little miserable. 

enzo st. john / vampire diaries / 140 / aware / paired w bonnie bennet

hasn’t happened yet. enzo is going to be living a normal life. probably going to become a vicious mean vampire. so be careful around him !!

gwen blake / the black phone / 20 / aware / randomized w jin ling

gwen is a little ashamed of what happened to her. but she’s trying not to think of it much. maybe will be relying on her visions to do more good around the city.

gwen runck / the 90s show / 18 / aware / paired w leia forman

gwen just hopes to god that leia will forgive them. they kind of scared themselves and never want to feel like that again. 

hayley marshall / vampire diaries / 33 / aware / paired w seth gecko

hayley feels awful. like she’s got the biggest hangover ever. she’s going to try and apologize to everyone that she hurt. and she’s also got to reunite with her family still. 

heron lyptus / harry potter / 30 / aware / unaffected

hasn’t happened yet. y’all are going to be introduced to the new and improved heron. it’s going to be a mystery to me too what kind of person he’ll be so !! he’ll be finding himself a job, most likely as a personal trainer. 

jacen solo / star wars / 27 / aware / paired w tenel ka djo

darth caedus is still lurking below the surface as jacen sinks lower into the shame of what he’s done. he’ll be shutting himself off from his entire family. but especially leia. he still holds that thought that he doesn’t want to see her. but he’ll just be working and trying not to deal with the family drama again to keep caedus from resurfacing. 

jacob peralta / brooklyn 99 / 39 / aware / paired w amy santiago

jake feels disgusted that he became the gruber !!!!! especially trying to hurt amy. he’s doing everything in his power to make sure she knows that he’s sorry. and he’s going to go out and make sure his friends are okay and put in more work.

jasper hale / twilight / 179/20 / not aware / unaffected

jasper is surprised to learn there are more out there like him. he isn’t so affected by the events other than thinking this town is insane but he still can’t leave. catch him trying to find more vampires.

justin russo / wizards of waverly place / 26 / aware / randomized w reggie peters

justin feels guilty beyond belief. he always believed that if anyone in his family were to turn evil it’d be alex. but he was right at the same level with her. he has to reevaluate himself and will be trying to do as much good as he can. 

kate bishop / marvel / 23 / aware / paired w america chavez

kate hopes that this hasn’t ruined anything between her and america. she’s quite actually dreading seeing her. so she’ll be everywhere else and bothering everyone else in the meantime. she’s kinda going about business as usual just extra clingy to other people to avoid america. 

kiara carrera / outerbanks / 22 / aware / paired w jj maybank

kie is still without her humanity so she’s kind of on a rampage? rip. she’s avoiding turning her humanity on because she doesn’t want to see what her friends think about her and what she did, especially jj. 

lucrecia / elite / 20 / aware / randomized w jennifer honey

lu is frightened of this town now. she knew it was magical and different, but she didn’t know it was to this extent. she’s going to be doing anything she can to try and distract her from what happened. overworking herself with school. pretending it never happened. 

marcellus gerard / vampire diaries: the originals / 216/25 / not aware / unaffected

marcel thinks this place is insane but he’s also a vampire so like ? not much has changed for him. 

marie clay / vampire diaries: the originals oc / 193 (24) / aware / randomized w dart

marie’s humanity is back on but tbh she wasn’t that nice with it ?? 

mouse honrada / pll: original sin / 18 / not aware / paired w toph beifong

mouse is having even worse nightmares now. she can’t sleep at night anymore. they really need help tbh.

oliver queen / dc’s the arrow / 36 / unaware / paired w caitlin snow

oliver is really dreading what this will do to the company and his public image. he’s concerned about where all that fighting knowledge came from but ... let’s just focus on the company for now... because that makes way more sense in his head right now. 

padme amidala / star wars / 27 / not aware / randomized w katara

hasn’t happened yet. padme is going to be trying to figure out how she’s alive again and what the hell’s happened to her family? everything is a hot mess ??? and sheev ?? is vice president ??? what is happening ?? 

penelope park / legacies / 18 / not aware / paired w josie saltzman

hasn’t happened yet. with her memories regained, pen is probably just going to try and console josie and will be trying to figure out a way to make sure the rest of their friends remember. including lizzie.... who isn’t technically her friend but still. 

piper halliwell / charmed / 35 / not aware / unaffected

piper is kinda just stuck in a perpetual state of what the fuck right now. she got info dumped on and doesn’t really believe a thing she’s hearing so she’s just trying to be a normal chef girl let her be ?? 

rachel green / friends / 27 / not aware / paired w bela dimitrescu

rachel might still be afraid of bela and is most certainly terrified of her sister. she doesn’t know how things are supposed to go back to normal now. catch her crying everyday while shopping. #retail therapy that’ll break her bank. (credit cards tbh).

riley matthews / girl meets world / 18 / aware / paired w maya hart

riley is going to be overcompensating by being extra extra extra riley with her friends especially maya. she’s not that girl and would never want to hurt anyone especially her friends !!!!!

roxanne weasley / harry potter / 21 / aware / randomized w parker halliwell

roxy is really not herself anymore. she’ hasn’t picked up her wand since that day. she’s pretty much locked herself in her room. she’s not going to want to talk to anyone...literally... don’t think she’s really spoken much beyond necessity since it happened. 

rue / the hunger games / 20 / aware / paired w luke patterson

rue is a little nervous but seeing as it happened to everyone, they really just want to make sure that luke’s okay and that he doesn’t hate her. she wishes more and more everyday though that she wasn’t stuck here. 

samara palpatine / star wars / 24 / aware / randomized w hermione granger

samara’s only regret is that she didn’t get to off her target. but oh well. she got to be in many fights and is pleased with the outcome of most of them. just wait till the other shoe drops my dear. she’s also going to be getting a kick out of torturing the twins.

sarah miller / the last of us / 18 / not aware / unaffected

sarah is scared of this town now. she’s a little nervous to go out and do things but her life can’t stop because of this. she’s probably going to search for self defense classes. 

stu macher / scream / 18 / aware / unaffected

stu had a great fucking time. he’s only sad every day can’t be like this. so uh... he’s chasing that high. sorry to any people that catch him at the wrong time. 

tara carpenter / scream / 19 / not aware / paired w amber freeman

tara now has a different view of just about everyone that was really close to them. and they don’t know what to do about that. they’re a little lost right now. 

violet / arcane / 25 / aware / unaffected

vi is just going to be checking in on her family, including jinx and caitlyn. screw silco for threatening her friend. she already didn’t like him so now she’s going to try and plan something. 

willa lykensen / disney’s zombies / 20 / aware / randomized w riley biers

willa feels extremely bad. she’s never supposed to lose her cool like that. especially as the alpha. she’s questioning her position but she’s still going to try and stay strong for her pack.

[predoom]

peteisacreep

Friday, November 26th, 2004

Subject: its a dangerous bussiness walking out your front door Time: 2:09 am. ive been thinking so much about mortality lately. i dont know why. skip this if you are looking for pictures of boys in mario suits. i have been having a hard time of dealing with things on a daily basis. just the most normal decisions seem like so much to me. like i imagine a car crash and then what if you had made the decision to not get in the car or walk. like its always there but not really. i need a scarf and a hood to keep these thoughts quiet inside my head. right now they are telling on splotched eyes. its embarrassing. ive been having dream night after night of dying alone. it is the worst thing i can think of right this second. god. i hope i get it together. i hope everybody does.

EDIT: the glue isnt even dry on the pity party invitations. but i mean "die alone" in the sense of that is what happens to anyone, at least anyone who isnt clutching the hand of the person that loves them at that moment.

there is gonna be an accompanying portion on the back of the new cd--- i dont know know how to explain it... but its definitely going to address alot of this.

123luv ++++: 97 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Wednesday, November 17th, 2004

Subject: after the party theres the hotel lobby Time: 4:16 pm. yeahyeahyeah. we're becoming so l.a. psyche! anyway. i dont have much to say except the weather is radical here. after our chicago metro show on dec 29- we're gonna have an after party and prescreen the release the bats dvd- maybe youll hear about it and stop by. youll laugh. youll cry.

laterskater ++++: 113 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004

Subject: booyah Time: 5:47 pm. ++++: 183 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Friday, October 15th, 2004

Subject: fuck your friends page, cause i said so Time: 12:08 am. ++++: 239 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Thursday, March 18th, 2004

Subject: all the failures die starryeyed Time: 7:18 pm. it`s funny by the time you realize who your real friends are you don`t have any. i`m sorry. please call me. ++++: 69 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Tuesday, February 10th, 2004

Subject: for the record Time: 3:55 am. 1. playing atari reminds me of you 2. i want our feet to look the same for some reason ++++: 22 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Wednesday, January 28th, 2004

Subject: so this is sorry. Time: 1:11 pm. we leave on tour today. i don't want to talk about that too much. i just wanted to say to all my friends both really old and ones that i have just met, that i am sorry that i have been such a shitty friend lately. my time is totally consumed and i have not been returning calls or emails or whatever. this is my apology. so thank you for being there, i know i don't deserve it often- when this is all over i hope we still know eachother.

peterabbit ++++: 20 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Friday, December 19th, 2003

Subject: back in bussiness. Time: 9:06 pm. good thing hell is open on christmas. ++++: 32 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Tuesday, November 25th, 2003

Subject: the pity party is officially over. Time: 11:29 pm. i am single if you wanna hang out, bros and stellas.

also, i am moving to another journal at some point so the drama in this stupid one can stop. ++++: 38 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Saturday, November 22nd, 2003

Subject: I.C. you are feeling Drake Time: 1:35 pm. you know how it goes. its been awhile. i hate the fucking drama everywhere. yet somehow i feel pretty attached to it. the west coast was rad. we're making our way back. i think i may be spending thanksgiving on a plane. more for me to complain about. my throats hurting pretty badly and i have van neck from sleeping in it last night. on a positive note i got "my life with morrissey" this documentary on hardcore morrissey fans (bring on the freaks). i'm hoping i might see myself hahaha. tommy two tone might jump on this tour for a minute, you know "jenny 8675309" haha how good?

it can't get much better/worse.

call me up on my cellular phone just to see how i'm doing. it would make my day. ++++: 25 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Friday, November 14th, 2003

Subject: i want my funeral to be a party. play all the hits and dance the night away. Time: 8:14 pm. morrisey.tupac.love,love will tear us apart, yes it will. unbroken. it doesn't go the way you think it does, nothing ever does. mountain drives. scars and middle fingers. club food, club stomachaches. phonecalls that feel first kiss good. northern california nights, southern california hearts. tonight is all about we miss you.

we miss you. ++++: 23 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Monday, November 10th, 2003

Subject: paris hilton sex tape Time: 6:51 pm. it's so weird to be homeless. to throw the dirtiest pillow into the corner of rooms just to get by. i never write in here anymore. i don't really feel the need to anymore for some reason. words feel stuck behind my tongue and my hand. i feel ashamed of how words make me feel and sometimes i want to stay asleep forever.

maybe i'll stop by here again soon.

peter ++++: 7 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Thursday, October 30th, 2003

Subject: pretty boys for secret girls. Time: 11:28 am. so i have been staying up late nights lately. i sometimes want to move where nobody knows my name.

you wanna hold hands and makeout? i think that would make me feel better. ++++: 9 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Friday, October 24th, 2003

Subject: i think hell might have frozen over. Time: 12:11 am. my band just signed to Island/Defjam ++++: 18 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Tuesday, October 14th, 2003

Subject: you only hurt the ones you love Time: 12:17 pm. read: i am having a good time with myself. the drama bites hard, and wood floors are harder. but this is the time of my life. thanks- see you soon. buy me halloween stuff and i will love you forever.

there is a world waiting for us to live in it. ++++: 2 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Sunday, October 5th, 2003

Subject: real good friends, i bet i bet Time: 7:01 pm. saw lots of things lately. shows. friends. i'd go into depth but i am too lazy. i am also tired of defending myself against rumours. so believe them if you want or don't, i understand i bring drama on myself. i understand i put my life under a microscope. i am trying to not let this get to me. sorry i am so bad at calling everybody back, sometimes its harder to not be homesick when you hear someones voice. love peter ++++: 10 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Wednesday, October 1st, 2003

Subject: still making awkward look cool. Time: 5:04 pm. hows this for overdramatic and anonymous: sometimes you need to be sung to sleep. but sometimes you know you can't ever go home to something again.

borrowed and blue, thinking of you. ++++: 3 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Friday, September 26th, 2003

Subject: so just to explain.. Time: 11:34 am. i tried to leave the house to see you. but i couldn't cause i don't fit in anywhere anymore, except out on the road. so i went back to sleep instead.

"i thought you hated girls, like you were on some MC5 shit or something."

"nah, it's not girls, i hate everyone." ++++: 3 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Subject: drag my corpse through the suburbs and show them what they're missing Time: 1:22 am. i have taken to wearing red makeup around my eyes to make myself look washed out and tired.

maybe it will help me get some sleep. ++++: 2 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

Thursday, September 25th, 2003

Subject: i know it is belated but we love you back Time: 11:35 am. happy birthday morgan. ++++: 1 think i'm a creep - what are you thinking?.

[breesasofty]

Sunday. June 16th, 2024.

Things I love about life.

(This used to be the day on the week that I'd spent it all with my dad, every sunday we'd buy lots of junk food and watch movies i'd criticize at the whole length to say that i liked it at the end like a sacred tradition):

1. cats

2. windy, open windows in the car

3. going back home late at night from the shopping center feeling like i have bought some piece of cloth that will change my life

4. watching cartoons when high

5. falling asleep watching cartoons, especially when high

6. being in the middle of the woods or some place remote which phone loses signal (the feeling of <i could disappear right here, right now>)

7. lately, talking to my therapist in a more friendly manner (trying to work with him instead of against him [and myself])

8. turning off all notifications at night, isolating in my room and pretending like the rest of the world doesn't exist at nighttime (recharge in solitude)

9. daily interactions with my cats because they understand body language and you don't need to talk to be understood and you don't have to actually hear about it to understand (oh, the wonders of not needing to talk! silence is something i'd never trade)

10. eating my grandma's food because also the wonders of not having to cook!

11. different cities, which carry their very own air, their singular ambiance.

12. my actual friends (which are glad they even made it to this list, whom put up to my avoidant attachment fuckery without judgment. oh, those i don't need to explain myself to, but encourage me to be a good person nonetheless!)

13. watching my cats eat like they've been starving for weeks after i'd just filled their food bowls for the 5th time on that day (the vet said my middle child was weighing like an actual child; poor thing, wouldn't have a chance in the wild).

14. waking up every morning to find my cats having a reunion in front of my bedroom door. i always greet each with a bom dia petting.

15. how hair feels right after a haircut. ugh, so smooth! love to feel it between my fingers.

16. waking up late, no obligations in the day

17. waking up early fully rested

18. advancing technology

19. forgetting who i am (reseting every night)

20. dissociation, my best friend

21. chat gpt, my one true mate

22. family vacations

23. inherited network

24. not having a normal family (in some aspects i love it, in others, i loath and despise it)

25. everything i've had to this day (material, i mean) and will be receiving/achieving in the future

26. my academical prowess

27. my cognitively powerful brain

28. how could i not have mentioned harry potter!???

29. harry potter (taking a doble slot because of it's importance, In Potter We Trust)

30. being high.

31. also dramione, since i'm speaking about the wizarding world

32. fanon draco malfoy, of course. canon draco is the fetus, the child.

33. meeting up with adults because it makes me feel like an adult

34. acting like an adult (although i just like the acting, not the being)

35. people who have a prospect of what they want for the future

36. imaginary worlds, fantasy, lore, adventure

37. adventure sports (lmao though i have practiced it like, 3 times in my whole lifetime)

38. that moment when you think or are actually in love and still don't want to run away, you feel like this time you could actually do it, could actually stay

39. meeting new friends that i feel like should've been in my life for the longest time (those people you actually meet the soul instead of a programmed body)

40. being capable of apologizing (and also when people who have wronged me apologize; not that i'll forgive, anyways)

41. I love to feel the early morning wind, especially when the sun isn't yet too hot when riding a motorcycle.

42. My students, who are quite difficult to deal with, but they're actually super intelligent and funny.

43. When my students give me sweets. My favorite one was the brownie, but the beijinho got pretty close!

44. Once again, not having to cook my own meals, especially lunch, 'cause now I have it at work and it's rather delicious.

45. Affable people who mirror your kindness.

46. Not having kids yet, like many people who grow up with me already have (poor people could barely have time to know themselves, now their life's revolving around another life). Note: I do want kids cause surprise, surprise, I actually don't despise children.

47. When I get home from work (classic, but to shower, smoke weed, eat something delicious and get to bad to sleep is absurdly appealing to me)

48.

(working on this list so I can convince myself life's actually worth living [i'm not a dramatic little shit, just a tad bit {a lot, fuckerly and fucked} existential]).

[rainbowsky]

Hello admin,

I became a turtle in March’22. I love reading your answers that you give to several Qs. And it is one of the reasons I believed in them and I thought they are really dating. But yesterday I saw a clip of WYB where he was dressed as an old man. It was a clip from Day Day Up episode 20210829. When asking about kids he said “3 children? That is too much for me. 2 is OK. Any way I must have a son. I will teach him motorbike, skiing, skateboarding.” This answer of him shook me. I heard that it is very difficult for gay to adopt child in China. If he is gay and dating XZ then he should say “I have not thought of kids now.” But he sounds pretty confident about having a son. Then I kept on questioning myself. Am I missing something? Am I exaggerating their good friendship into romantic relationship? I am really sad and confused now. I know you believe that their relationship real. I also believe that they are real but I also think that the Qs of mine is reasonable. Please enlighten me with your views from this topic.

Thank you.

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

Normally I'm fine with people calling me by whatever comes to mind for them, but 'admin' feels scary. I'm not an admin - that sounds like too much responsibility! 😅

Feel free to refer to me by one of my many appellations, or to come up with something appropriately silly. 😅

I'm going to do my best to answer your question as gently as possible, but I apologize if I don't quite succeed. For reasons that will become clearer, I find this question somewhat unsettling.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I don't think you realize how offensive it is, but your line of thinking comes across as "A queer guy in China who is serious about wanting kids can't really be serious about his gay relationship," and that rubs me the wrong way. It's like holding up the oppression that queer people experience, as proof of the lack of viability of gay relationships. I know that's not what you intended, Anon, but when you reflect on it I hope you can see why it feels that way.

This is a form of bigotry that queer people constantly experience, and is a huge part of how and why queer rights continue to be held back across the globe. Queer people are prevented from marrying and having kids, and then the same people who are standing in the way of those rights turn around and say, "See! Gay people are just a bunch of oversexed promiscuous pervs whose 'lifestyles' are incompatible with decent family values!!"

So when I hear you fall into a spiral of despair and doubt about DD really loving GG, just because he states openly that he wants a son... well, Anon... it just makes me so sad. It tweaks all my sensitivities about queer rights and sociocultural attitudes toward queer people - gay men especially - and it lands on me (totally unintentionally, I get it) in this saddening sort of way.

Just to be clear: DD is totally allowed to want a son - even to be determined to have a son - and still be totally gay and totally in love with and devoted to GG.

We don't know what their long term plans are, we don't know what the situation is going to be in China five or ten years from now, we don't know what queer people do in China to get around the laws, we don't know if they intend on leaving at any point... we just don't know. And it's also totally fine for DD to speak openly about wanting something that he might not yet be sure how he's going to achieve. Never underestimate that man. If there's a way, he will find it.

I find it similarly disappointing when turtles claim to believe GG and DD are a real couple, but then constantly question and challenge their relationship and fall into a wailing pit of doubt about it over the most inconsequential things. It lands on me in a very similar way. Perhaps without even realizing it, there is a strong thread of heteronormativity/homophobia that runs through a lot of that stuff.

GG and DD are real people. They've been together for years. They are clearly deeply in love. They shouldn't have to constantly prove it to us in order to keep us from going bald.

I get it, Anon, I really do. Heteronormativity is a powerful force, and we are all heavily conditioned to believe that straight relationships are normal and natural, and gay relationships are a rare, fleeting, inherently troubled thing. Especially for people who lack a certain degree or type of experience, it can be difficult to get one's head around the idea that gay relationships are actually totally normal, and are happening everywhere around us, all the time.

It's also common for new turtles to struggle to find a balance between their excitement about GG and DD and their uncertainty about GG and DD, and I don't want to be a total heel who isn't sympathetic to that process which a lot of fans seem to go through. But I think a lot of that upheaval is totally unnecessary, and fairly easily remedied by a shift in mindset.

Of course some doubt is understandable and even healthy, but to swing wildly from fervent belief to gut-wrenching doubt as some turtles tend to do, that's a sign that perhaps it's time to self-reflect a bit on what you really feel about GGDD, and what you're really trying to get out of being a turtle. Perhaps it's time to focus on things that will make you happy.

Of course everyone experiences things differently and everyone has different values and approaches, but from my perspective, fandom should be - first and foremost - about having fun. Fandom involving stars like GG and DD should be - first and foremost - about supporting them and enjoying their works. Getting overly invested in whether they're in a real relationship will only make the experience of fandom stressful and painful.

And I feel the need to point this out because it's incredibly important: no one is obligated to believe BJYXSZD. You aren't obligated, nor is anyone else. It's totally OK, totally normal, and totally fine to be unable/unwilling to believe, to falter in belief, to have never believed, to go back and forth, to still be weighing the evidence, etc. etc.

SZD might come to you or it might not, but GG and DD are always here to enjoy and support, and that's the most important thing we can focus on. Clownery is meant to be fun. If you find it isn't fun, or if you're starting to feel doubt and despair, just put your clown wig on and remember this is all fake.

I don't know if this is the answer you were hoping to get, Anon, or if it's made you feel better or worse, but hopefully it's helped a little bit.

And if my words have failed, surely GG and DD themselves are the real remedy for what ails you.

EDIT: A couple of articles about gay men and surrogacy in China were shared in the comments that I think will be of interest to readers.

Four years, two continents: a gay Chinese couple’s journey for a surrogate son

LGBT parents challenge stereotypes in China

There's also an interesting documentary about this on YouTube

[softholand]

pot valiant - t.h

pairing: bartender!tom x reader

summary: pot-valiant, definition; bold or courageous under the influence of alcoholic drink

warnings: drinking, swearing, smut, dom!tom

words: 4.3k

a/n: i did it!!! bartender!tom was always present in my mind and after that picture (thanks paddy!!) i couldn’t help myself ;))) i hope you guys like this and please let me know what you think <3 enjoy!!

Two weeks, three days, 5 hours, and 22 seconds. That was the time your best friend Briana gave you to mourn your last failed relationship. Once that time had passed, she broke into your house, made you take a much necessary shower, forcing you to shave and wash your hair, while she took care of the mess that was your house. Plastic food containers and cans of beer and Coca-Cola littered both the kitchen and the living room floor, making the house smell like a garbage can.

“Glad to see you’re still alive!” Briana cheered after you got out of the shower, wearing your fluffy robe. “I am but barely. Wow, what did you do to my house?” You asked, being met with a completely different scenario from the one you left.

“I just put out the trash, y/n! Something you should have done before.” Briana scolded you, making you roll your eyes. “Should have waited and put me out too, since I feel like trash!” You groaned, flopping down on your sofa.

“Hey, no, no, no! Get up, y/n! We’re going out!” Your best friend announced, before trying to make you stand. “Noooo, please, Bri! I’ll do anything you want, but that!” You pleaded, but it was of no use. “I don’t wanna hear it, y/n! I didn’t come here to clean your house, I came to take you out of here and that’s what I’m gonna do.” Briana stated, taking your hands.

“Bri, I love you, but please let me stay just a little longer, I’m not ready for the outside world yet.” You groaned, trying your best to convince your best friend. “y/n, I love you too, that’s why I’m here! I can’t stand seeing you like this anymore! Yeah, what Tyler did to you was fucked up, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life because of it.” Briana exclaimed.

“I know, Bri! I know! It’s just… hard for me to wrap my head around the fact he ditched me after all this time and that I’m single now.” You sighed, starting to feel emotional. At that, Briana pulled you closer and wrapped her arms around you, engulfing you in one of her best hugs. “I’m sorry, y/n! I didn’t mean to make you cry again.” Bri apologized, making you chuckle through your tears. “It’s okay, Bri! It’s not your fault, really. I’m just… a mess!” You laughed, drying your face with the robe sleeves.

“One drink. We get one drink and if you still don’t wanna stay after that, we leave. I promise!” Your friend offered, with hopeful eyes. “Fine! One drink!” You sighed, to which she squealed. “Yes! Thank you, y/n! You’re not gonna regret it! I’ve found this new club, it opened just a couple of weeks ago. You’re gonna love it!” She grinned. “Now, go put on your best outfit, we’re going out!” Briana squealed, making you laugh at her excitement.

About an hour later and after a whole lot of makeup and trying on clothes, Briana finally decided you were done with what she called: a Cinderella transformation. Of course, you laughed at her choice of words, and to irritate your friend, even more, you asked if you also should be back at midnight. She gave you the middle finger, before giving up and joining you in laughter.

After a quick cab ride, that could be done by feet, not with the heels you two were wearing though, you and Briana were at the new club she talked about. Once inside, you had to admit your best friend was right. The place looked like a mix of everything you enjoyed, the walls were coated in a beautiful shade of red, while the lounge area was filled with dark green sofas. Different from the other places you had been to, the bar on this one was positioned right in the middle, with bar stools in that same dark green velvet texture, rounding the space. The dim light that filled the space gave a mysterious/sensual vibe, something you were also a fan of.

Briana immediately dragged you to the bar, waiting patiently for one of the many bartenders. While she made her request, you took the time to scan the place, noting some artsy bits that complemented the space. “What can I get you?” A smooth masculine voice took you out of your daze, making you avert your attention to him. Right in front of you, a gorgeous boy with hazel eyes and chocolatey brown curls grinned at you, waiting for your answer. What was even the question?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.” You apologized, making his smile grow even more. “I asked what can I get you tonight, darling?” He asked, making you smile with the nickname. “Oh, uh… a daiquiri, please!” You finally said, not being able to avert his gaze. “Good choice! I’ll be right back, girls!” He smirked, before going to the enormous wall of beverages behind him.

Once he was out of earshot, Briana lightly kicked your bare leg, getting your attention. “Isn’t he hot?” She mouthed, making you roll your eyes. “Really, Bri? Already?” Shaking your head, you went back to looking at your surroundings. “Oh, c’mon y/n! A woman has to eat!” Briana joked, making you both burst out laughing.

Seconds later, hot guy was back, this time with two cocktail shakers in his hands. Like every bartender in the world, he made his presentation while pouring the ingredients into the containers, making sure to really flex his arms while shaking it. Not that you noticed.

With two glasses in front of you, he poured the drinks in, doing the finishing touches before serving them to you. “Two pretty drinks for two pretty ladies, enjoy!” He smirked, before going back to his business. “Oh God, he only gets better!” Briana jokingly fanned herself, making you laugh. “He’s just doing his job, Bri! How many times do you think he used that one?” You asked your friend, who rolled her eyes at you. “You’re no fun!” She groaned, putting her tongue out.

Briana was only halfway through her Cosmopolitan when one of her favorite songs started to play. She made everything in her power to make you go with her but you denied her offer, stating you were fine watching her from the bar. With her drink in her hands, she made her way into the dance floor, purposely shaking her booty at you, which made you laugh and almost choke on your barely touched drink.

“Not into dancing?” The same voice from minutes ago asked, startling you. “Oh, no! Not today, at least!” You shrugged, offering him a smile. “So, what brought you and your friend here? I’m Tom, by the way!” He asked, cleaning the surface in front of him, making the watch he wore catch the fluorescent lights of the club. “y/n! And to be honest, she dragged me here.” You told him, giving into their usual small talks. “Wanna talk about it? I’m a pretty damn good listener!” He offered you with a smile.

You took a deep breath, asking yourself if it was really a good idea to share a part of your life with a stranger, and since you weren’t going to step foot on the dance floor, you thought this was the next most reasonable thing to do. Right? “Well, I was into a two-year relationship that ended a couple of weeks ago, and apparently staying inside your house, eating takeout food, and crying over stupid romantic movies is not a very healthy thing to do, so today she went to my house and here I am.” You smiled, taking a sip of your drink.

Once you looked at Tom, he gave you a pitiful look, to which you shrugged. “That’s not even the worst part though.” You said, the alcohol in your system already making the choices for you. “Instead of calling me or sending me a text asking to talk, you know, like a normal person, he invited me to his parents’ tenth-anniversary party and broke up with me in front of his whole family, claiming I wasn’t what he wanted in a relationship anymore.” With a raise of your glass, you finished your sad story, downing the rest of your daiquiri.

“Damn, what a dick!” Tom breathed after a couple of seconds, making you chuckle. “Oh, well! Cheers to single life, I guess…” You said, raising your now empty glass. “Need a refill?” He asked, pointing to the glass on your hands. “Please!” You huffed, before thanking him. “What will it be now?” Tom smirked, seeing your thinky face. “I don’t know, something strong.” He nodded, giving you two thumbs-ups, before going back to the wall to collect the ingredients.

Once the song ended, Briana came back to you and you two chatted until Tom came back with your drink, waiting for your approval. “It’s good! I like it! Thanks, Tom!” You smiled, locking eyes with him. “Do you want a refill too, darling?” He asked Briana, to which she said a beer would be fine. Once he was off, you felt your best friend's eyes burning a hole in your skull. “What?” You asked, impatiently. “We’re already on a name basis then?” Briana smirked, making you roll your eyes at her. “Yeah, I mean, he introduced himself, what did you want me to do?” You snapped and that was enough to her smirk double in size. “Okay, girl! You sure you don’t want to go home then?” She asked you for what felt like the fifth time. “Yes, Bri! I’m good! I promise!” You assured your best friend before she once again was off to the dance floor.

You quietly took sips of your new strawberry drink, watching from afar as your friend seemed to get her eyes on a specific guy for the night. She gave you a wink, making you roll your eyes at her antics. “She seems to be enjoying herself.” You heard Tom’s voice, turning the barstool to find him looking at you. “Yeah, she always does!” You agreed, taking another sip of your drink. “So, you’re from here?” He asked, sounding interested. “Yeah, I’m a local! You?” You said, raising your brows. “Same!” He smiled, going right to the next question.

The conversation kept going for most of the night, Tom attended some clients, while you took sips of your drinks, and once he was free, he was right back at you with another round of questions. Seeing as Briana wasn’t by your side anymore, you welcomed his company, glad at least this way you wouldn’t be left alone. “Museologist? I’ve never heard that before!” He grinned, making you chuckle. “Yeah, it’s not very common. Basically what I do is investigate and preserve material cultural stuff, like paintings, sculptures or constructions and immaterial, such as traditions and folklore.” You answered and Tom couldn’t help but find adorable the way your eyes lit up while you talked.

Briana came back after a couple more songs, sitting by your side and asking Tom another beer. “So, found your prey?” You joked, making her laugh. “Actually, I did! See that blonde? With the samurai bun?” She pointed and you nodded once your eyes landed on him. “Nice, Bri!” You complemented, giving her a playful high five. “Right? And he’s so sweet and smart and funny! He even asked me if I wanted to go to his house.” She blurted, seemingly disappointed. “And?” You asked, not getting why she reacted that way. “Oh, no! I’m not leaving you. I dragged you here so I’m taking you home.” Briana exclaimed, to which you rolled your eyes. “Bri, I’m totally able to call a cab and go home by myself. I’m fine, I promise! You can go with Mr. Samurai bun if you want.” You assured her, seeing her eyes widen. “No, y/n/n! I promised you!” She protested, making you groan. “I’m fine, Bri! Go with him!” Once again, you insisted. “Are you sure?” She asked and you had to laugh at her. “I’m not a child, Bri! Now go, he’s not going to wait all night!” You teased, getting a hug and a kiss on the cheek from your friend before she was off.

“Lost your friend?” Tom asked once he was back from his bartender duties. “Yeah, it's just me now and I think I’ll actually call it a night and go home.” You told him, making him frown. “Hey, not to sound creepy or anything but are you going by yourself? Because that’s not very safe and my shift ends in like ten minutes. If you want, I can accompany you.” With hopeful eyes, the boy in front of you smiled, making your heart flutter just a tiny bit. You thought about leaving a stranger accompanied you home, you really did, but something in your gut told you it was fine, Tom was a good guy and would never do anything to harm you. So, you went with it. “Yeah, that would be great, actually.” You smiled and ten minutes later, you were both leaving the club, at 3:30 in the morning.

Tom offered to call a cab but seeing as your house was only a few minutes away, you asked if it was okay for him that you guys walked. He agreed and with the moon illuminating your steps, the pair of you made your way into the almost silent streets. You guys kept talking and occasionally your hands would brush on one another, which caused little butterflies to erupt in your stomach. Once in front of your apartment building, you stopped, having no idea what to do next, since you were in a relationship for the last two years.

“It was nice meeting and talking to you, Tom!” You said, opting for the easiest way out. “Yeah, the feeling is mutual, y/n!” He answered, stuffing both of his hands in his pockets. “Thank you for… listening.” You mumbled, making him chuckle. “Of course! Whenever you need!” He smiled, not moving a muscle. “I’ll see you around, then. Bye!” With a little wave of your hand, you made your way to the door, while Tom watched you from his place. “Sure! Bye, y/n!” He exclaimed, making you smile, finally entering the building.

That’s how you found yourself going back to that same club every Friday, getting a couple of drinks while talking to Tom, then being escorted home by him. You had been doing this for almost a month now and Briana was starting to get suspicious. It was Friday again and she had just called you while you finished getting ready. “So, any plans for tonight?” She asked, already predicting your answer. “Not really, just gonna get some drinks and head home.” You said while clasping your black sandals. “Tom’s gonna bring you home again?” You sighed, already knowing where this conversation was heading. “I don’t know, Bri! If he wants to.” You looked in the mirror for the last time, before taking your bag and heading out. Once Briana finally hung up, you threw your phone into your purse, getting into the cab.

The routine was the same, you got in, spotted Tom, sat in one of the many barstools, and waited for him to approach you. “What can I get this beautiful lady today?” He joked, a smile wide on his face. Today he was wearing a simple black shirt, tight around his muscles, the watch still sat proudly on his wrist, and his curls were a little bit messier than most days. “You know you don’t have to waste your pickup lines with me, Tom.” You smiled, watching his reaction. “Okay then, what can I get this grumpy old lady today?” He smirked, making you chuckle. “A Sex On The Beach, please?!” You grinned and after a quick wink, he was off.

The rest of the night passed like magic, you didn’t even see the time pass and once you took a look at your phone, you saw that it was almost time for Tom’s shift to end, which meant it was time to head home. The chilly London air hit as soon as you stepped out of the club, making you shiver, seeing as you were only in a dress. Like the gentleman he was, Tom took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders, and although you protested, saying he was going to catch a cold, he assured you he was fine with his shirt.

You didn’t know what you were thinking when the words “Do you wanna come inside?” came out of your mouth but now was definitely too late to take them back. “Oh, yeah! Sure!” Tom agreed, making you smile. The short lift ride was awkward and once you walked into your apartment, the feeling only grew. Tom stayed pretty close to the door, with both of his hands in his pockets, while you put your purse away and turned on the lights. “Welcome and sorry for the mess.” You said, going back to the living room. Tom just smiled, before saying, “You call this messy? You should see my house!” You both laughed and the tension was back in the air. “Do you want anything? Water, wine, beer?” You offered, taking off your shoes and his jacket, putting the both away. “Water would be good.” He said and you quickly made your way to the kitchen, shaking your head to try and get rid of some very intrusive thoughts.

“Thanks!” He smiled, taking the glass from your hands, while your eyes kept focused on his arm and the prominent veins and the way his shirt was almost being ripped by his bicep. “y/n? You here?” Tom’s voice brought you back, making your face grow hot with the knowledge you got caught. “Yes, sorry!” You apologized, watching as his smirk grew in size. He placed the cup on the small table by your door, before taking a couple of steps closer. Slowly, as if testing the waters, he put his hands on your hips, leaning the smallest bit in, not taking that stupid smirk off of his face.

His smell was intoxicating, the mixture of alcohol and mint was definitely making your mind clouded. “Tom…” You whispered once he was only centimeters away from you. “What is it, y/n?” He asked, looking between your eyes and your lips. “Kiss me!” You almost pleaded, his smirk the last thing you saw before his lips were crashing into yours. The feeling was new, you hadn’t kissed anyone since your ex-boyfriend and you couldn’t help but compare them. Tom’s was so much better though, his lips could be thin but they held so much power on them, his mouth worked like magic against yours, and before you knew he was pulling away, completely breathless. The pause didn’t last long though, he looked so good with his lips plumped, the tiniest of the smirks still proudly on them, you just couldn’t help yourself and launched yourself at him.

You backed him against the wall, moaning when you felt his tongue entering your mouth. Tom placed both of his hands on your ass, squeezing it before asking, “Bedroom?” Without breaking the kiss, you pointed in the direction of your room and before you knew it, he was carrying you in his arms. You squealed, wrapping your legs around his torso, before going back to his lips. He placed you on the bed, making a trail of kisses from your neck, all the way to your stomach. Once he positioned himself between your tights, he looked at you with his bright brown eyes, asking if he could take your dress off. You nodded and after a little bit of a struggle, he took the thin material out of your body, leaving you in just a pair of white underwear. “You’re so beautiful!” He whispered, going back to your lips and attacking them with kisses. “Tom, please…” You moaned, growing even more eager to feel him. “What do you want, darling?” He smirked, loving seeing you like that. “You, I want you!” With a shake on your voice, you pleaded and he finally took the clue and went to work.

After another confirmation from you, he discarded your panties, tracing his fingers through your now soaked folds. “You look amazing, y/n!” Tom breathed before going straight to your core. You let out a moan as soon as his lips touched you, making your whole body shake with pleasure. “And tastes amazing too!” He purred, focusing on his task. Your moans only grew louder when he pushed two of his slender fingers on your heat. “Fuck, Tom! Feels so good!” You blurted, not being able to control yourself. “That’s it, baby! I can feel your walls clenching around my fingers. Tell me how much do you wanna cum.” Tom whispered, making you clench even more, only by his words. “Wanna cum, Tom! Please…” You were never this talkative in bed and not once has a guy been this dominant with you but you couldn’t say you weren’t enjoying it. “Cum for me, baby! Wanna hear you scream my name!” He mumbled and finally lost control. Your whole body shook with pleasure and you had to contain yourself from closing your thighs around Tom’s head.

Once you came back from your high, you opened your eyes to find Tom already looking at you, with some of your wetness still glistening on his chin. “You alright?” He asked, concern coating his words. “Yeah!” You smiled, before going back to his lips. With a quick move, you straddled him, helping him take off his shirt, letting his chest perfectly exposed for you. You lowered yourself, leaving a trail of kisses on his jaw, neck, collarbones, chest, each one of his abs, and finally, his perfectly sculpted v line. “Are you sure? You don’t have to, I’ll be perfectly fine by just giving...” You interrupted his mumbling by attaching your lips to his, hoping it would be his answer.

With the rest of his clothes discarded, you couldn’t help but admire his body. He was perfect. Sculpted by the gods, even. After wetting your hands, you took his cock, pumping a few times before attaching your lips to it. You twirled your tongue, tasting his precum, feeling him grow harder and harder on your hands. “Holy shit, you feel so good, y/n!” His words of encouragement were enough for you to start moving your head up and down, taking his member into your mouth inch by inch, until he was bucking his hips. “Fuck! You’re bloody amazing, darling!” He praised, while making direct eye contact with you, “But if you want more, you better stop before I coat your throat with my cum.” You had to admit, his dirty talk was doing something to you.

Releasing his cock with a loud pop, you climbed on top of him, kissing his lips. “Do you have a condom?” He asked between kisses. “Bedside table, first draw.” You answered and after a loud smack on your ass, you got off of him, both of you wearing playful smiles on your faces. Tom opened the foil package and rolled the material into his member, positioning himself at your entrance. “You sure you wanna do this?” He asked, making sure you wanted this as much as he did. “Yes, Tom! I want you to fuck me!” You said, kissing his lips.

With both of his hands on your hips and a huge smirk on his face, he pushed himself into you, making you moan. It took you a few seconds to get used to him and once you nodded, Tom started to move, bringing another level of pleasure to your body. “Fuck! You’re so tight around me, y/n!” He whispered, biting your earlobe. “Tom, fuck me harder!” You pleaded, wanting nothing more than to be railed by him. That seemed to take Tom by surprise but he was quick to obey your wish, thrusting harder and harder into your soaking wet core. “You look so beautiful like that, all sweaty, begging me for more!” He kept praising you, feeling how much you liked when he did.

With both of his arms by your head, he caged you, tattooing your face with kisses. “Feel so good, Tom! Please, make me cum!” You mumbled, by now barely able to form sentences. Tom was quick to obey and once his fingers found your clit, rubbing small circles in it, you were gone. Toes curling, you arched your back, getting a handful of the mattress in one hand while the other scratched Tom’s back. “Fuck, y/n!” With a final thrust of his hips, Tom reached his high, moaning your name like it was the most beautiful prayer.

He collapsed on top of you, leaving a long kiss on your lips, before getting up and tossing the condom on the trash. You went to the bathroom to clean yourself up, seeing as you were too tired to take a shower, and asked him if he wanted that too. He agreed and once you were decent enough, you put on clean panties and his discarded shirt, asking him to join you on the bed. Of course, he accepted, he wasn’t planning to go anywhere either so, after putting his boxers back on, he climbed on the bed with you.

You quickly doze off but right before you did, you admitted to yourself that, like most of the time, Briana was right, and going to that new club wasn’t a bad idea after all.

tagging: @stuckonspidey @bi-writes @duskholland @screamholland @missnxthingg @tomhollandthing @wazzupmrstark @peeterparkr @veryholland @spideyspeaches-deactivated20221 @lauras-collection @tommybaholland @rebekkah4766 @hopelessromm @pensivepeter @geminiparkers @mrs-hollandstan @hollandcreep @uglypastels

[aimless-imagines-for-fun]

Damian Wayne Dating HCs

Pairing :: older/adult!Damian Wayne x fem!Reader

Headcanon :: How Damian gets into and acts in a relationship

Word Count :: 1,676

Warnings :: N/A

A/N :: The image I’m using I created with Artbreeder. 

I didn’t call Damian “Robin” and referred to him as a vigilante because Dick stopped being Robin at 25, Jason 22, and Tim 18. The Damian I’m writing is 22. We don’t see much of Older!Damian, and when we do he’s either taken up the mantle of Batman or The Demon’s Head for The League Of Assassins

Getting into a relationship (all of this is in roughly a year) :

Neither you nor Damian know when you started dating, it just sort of happened

He met you at a bookstore you worked at, and you noticed he always came in buying older books about history, warfare, and strategies.

You found the warfare and strategies odd at first but chose not to question it

You asked him out first.

“Why do you always buy these books?” “I like history.” “Oh cool, I do too... Wanna hang out and talk about the First Battle of Tarain?”

You were joking, he said yes to get out of doing a thing with Tim

You each thought it was going to be a small amount of time spent together at some local cafe. You two ended up staying until closing talking about history.

This becomes a bi-weekly thing, you meet up at the cafe, talk until it closes, or go out and talk in a nearby park until sunset.

Damian’s family notices, but choose not to question what he’s doing because it’s seemingly making him less annoyed with people

Dick starts getting curious when he sees Damian smile just a tad bit looking at a text from you

You text him random facts all the time, but they’re weird. “Did you know squirrels are behind most power outages in the US?”

Eventually, you two stop talking about just history and start talking about other things that interest each of you and your personal lives. 

You open up more than Damian

Damian pays close attention when he notices you’re talking about something you’re genuinely passionate about He pays attention to detail in general.

For your birthday he got you a leather swiss army medic bag from WWII. You cried tears of joy and jumped onto him for a big long hug.

That was the first time Damian’s heart skipped a beat. After seeing you overjoyed, he realized he likes seeing you happy. It gave him a warm feeling, but he doesn’t know yet he has feelings for you.

Yours and Damian’s first “official date” was to a fancy Wayne Ent. event. This time Damian asked you. He’s super stiff.

“Would you like to accompany me to the upcoming-” “Are you asking me out on a date??” “No, I’m asking you to accompany me-” “I’ll go.”

No one in his family knows your coming, except for Alfred because he was asked to pick you up and bring you to the manor the day of. Alfred is confused the entire car ride because you act super chill

When you show up, the other boys surround you. Dick realizes who you are instantly, Jason thinks you’re not human, Tim is afraid you’re like Damian.

Bruce is silent, and a bit thankful his son found a normal human

Damian picked out your outfit: A fancy dark Sacramento green dress with black heels, a pearl necklace, and pearl bracelets to match.

You panicked when you saw the jewelry and Damian instantly goes into “comfort mode” to reassure you it’s fine. The family is shook.

At the actual event, you feel SUPER AWKWARD. Your family had enough to get by in life, so you feel very out of place around all the rich people

Damian can tell you’re uncomfortable and so he tries to hold onto you at all times to help you feel comfortable

Ex: He holds your hand, puts a hand on your shoulder, stands directly next to you so your arms are touching.

You eventually feel comfortable, but, you’re both bored there, so you suggest hiding in the outside garden

Finally alone, you two start talking about the other batboys

“Does Dick always try to show off odd party tricks?” “Only when he sees a pretty lady.”

“Why was Jason just standing in the corner looking at everyone?” “He doesn’t like dressing up.”

“Come on, there’s no way Tim’s actually happy here.” “Did you see him on the dance floor?” He has awesome dance moves, he’s just very energetic.

You eventually start talking about something else.

You can hear the music from inside, so you two start slow dancing together.

He’s holding one of your hands and has a hand placed on the small of your back. You rest your head on his shoulder and have your free hand flat on his chest.

It’s in this instant you each realize you have feelings for one another.

You two swayed around slowly until the song eventually ended.

When you two pull away, you stare into his green eyes briefly before you place a hand on his cheek and pull him down for a kiss.

Once In A Relationship :

You and Damian are a good pair because he’s serious and you’re go-with-the-flow. If he starts over-analyzing something, you start relaxing him. 

You two spend at least one day a week together, and you constantly text each other basic messages like “How was your day?”, “Are you okay?”, “Good morning/night”, “Have a nice day”

If you take over an hour to reply to Damian he gets anxious something bad happened to you.

He legitimately gets ready to start searching EVERY PART of Gotham until he gets a text “Sorry, I was taking a nap. Long day at work.”

When you two are together, you’re usually out or at your apartment. He only takes you to the manor if none of the other guys are there.

He took you once with everyone there. Never again.

Dick: “Oh my god! Look! He has a little girlfriend! How cute, Damian’s growing up.” “I’m 22.”

Tim: “You… You look so nice. Why? How is she so nice and you’re so… you.” “I’ll murder you and make it look like an accident.”

Jason: “How? Did you threaten her? Is he threatening you?” “Dames is super sweet.”

When you call Damian “Dames”, your nickname for him, they all lose their shit.

“DAMES?” “YOU HAVE A NICKNAME FOR HIM?” “DA-ME-SSS?” “DO YOU HAVE MORE?” “D-A-M-E-S?”

Your nicknames for Damian: Dame, Love, and Mr. Serious

Damian’s nicknames for you: Beloved, Love, and Sunflower

He briskly drags you away before you can say anything else, and you just go with it. 

“??I thought we were going to talk more to your brothers??” “They’re not my brothers.” “Okay. I appreciate you.” “.....I appreciate you too.”

You two don’t say “I love you” very often. Instead, you say “I appreciate you”. You do say “I love you” in private/intimate moments, but in public/at random you say “I appreciate you”

Damian isn’t possessive, just protective. There’s a difference. 

He’s never been in a serious relationship before and he’s never loved someone romantically like with you before, so he wants to make sure you’re safe and comfortable 24/7

The first time a random guy catcalled you while you were with Damian, he instantly defended your honor.

“What did you say?” He grabs the guy and easily raises him a foot off the ground. He forces the guy to apologize and lets him fall on the ground after.

Quickly, you reassured Damian he doesn’t need to go to such lengths to “defend your honor”. You tell him to ignore people like that guy because they’re nobodies.

After a few months, you start to pick up on the fact you two rarely spend time together after sunset.

You questioned him once about it and he quickly told you it’s because he helps his father with Wayne Ent. You never questioned him again.

You didn’t 100% believe his answer, but trust he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you

One time you called him crying at night. He was about to go on patrol, then dropped everything to go to your apartment and make sure you were okay.

Damian got a key to your apart about a year into the relationship.

There are times you go to sleep alone and wake up with him asleep, arms wrapped around you. He doesn’t do this often, only after a rough night on a patrol or a particularly dark mission.

Damian’s usually a realist, but when he sees you smile and laugh, he becomes an optimist for a split second

He isn’t big on PDA, so depending on his mood sometimes you hold hands when walking, other times you just lock your pinkies together.

When one of you notices the other is upset though, then you get touchy to calm the other down

Sometimes, when you two are alone at your apartment or the mansion, you don’t speak. You just rest and enjoy the silence while laying on top of one another.

If you lay on Damian, you’re literally on top of him snuggling into his chest. He holds one of your hands and rubs your back.

If Damian lays on you, you’re usually sitting and he places his head on your lap. You love playing and messing around with his hair.

When you found out Damian’s a vigilante, it was a massive accident

You called him while he was on patrol, whispering in a shaking voice that two men had broken into your apartment.

He booked it to your apartment and busted through the window, in costume.

After taking care of the guys and handing them over to the authority, he starts questioning you to make sure you’re okay. When you don’t answer he realizes he’s still in costume talking to you now.

You’re in shock because now a lot of things make sense.

You’re upset for about an hour(because Damian knows how to make you happy when you’re angry) and then you’re utterly fascinated by Damian’s other life

Damian tells you he doesn’t want you to know a lot because it could put you in danger and you’re the one part of his life that’s normal

You accept his wishes and continue with your relationship as normal.

There are only two things that changed:

One: Damian moves you to a more secure apartment and makes sure you have plenty of bats or batons you could use to protect yourself “just in case”

Two: Damian spends almost every night at your apartment after patrol now

[royal-ruin]

genshin fic recs (part ?)

other genshin fic recs here genshin fic recs by pairing here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

xingqiu / chongyun

Of Commemorations and Contracts by got2ghost (~100k)

No one of the Guhua bloodline has ever made it past the age of 30, due to a 200 year old curse. Xingqiu, now the head of the Feiyun Commerce Guild, is to marry and find a love that will be powerful enough to break the curse.

But at 22, all that Xingqiu wants is a normal life and adventure. Who better to help him get his clan off his back than his best friend, Chongyun?

just my opinion but i felt like xingqiu was pretty feminized in this fic. other than that, he was pretty in character i think (idk though because i haven’t really paid much attention to him in game)

diluc and kaeya (platonic)

*Poisoned Dreams by StrangeDiamond (~83k)

Every night now, Diluc dreams of death. Usually Kaeya's. In between these nightmares his life is falling apart. It doesn't take Kaeya long to realize that this is something much more insidious than simple bad dreams. His brother's life and sanity are on the line and there is nothing Kaeya won't do to save him. Bonus chapter added.

Blind Mirror by StrangeDiamond (~76k)

A serial killer surfaces in Mondstadt. One whose signature is eerily similar to the first serial killer Jean and Kaeya ever caught together, four years ago. Right after Diluc left the Ordo. The shadow of the past falls heavily on the new investigation, as the three friends hunt down this threat to their city and are forced to reconcile their lives now with their regrets and mistakes from four years ago.

this one is basically a sequel to the previous one. they can be read seperately but it might be hard to understand diluc and kaeya’s dynamic at first if you don’t read it in order.

kaedehara kazuha / tomo | kazuha’s friend

*to a faraway land by kaeyaslefttitty (~27k)

Tomo/Kazuha Royalty AU (noble!Tomo/bodyguard!Kazuha) 

["You know," Tomo snapped at some point, "at least my previous bodyguards talked." He didn't picture a precise reaction he'd love to see on Kazuha's face. He was hoping for a pout, an inkling of hurt, or even sheer anger at the indirect criticism. Yet, there was no change in his expression. "I apologize if I'm not living up to your expectations."]

At the ripe age of 24, Tomo thinks he's past the point he needs a bodyguard to follow him around. His family disagrees, and chaos ensues. 

[paellaplease]

HAII!! if it hasnt been done yet, could you do revali x reader with basorexia? maybe reader really wants to give him a kiss but she really cant since,, yknow she has lips and he has a fuckin beak so she just decides to give him a lil smooch on the cheek? idk that was just an idea i had in mind, u dont have to write it!

22. basorexia - the overwhelming desire to kiss.

pairing: revali x reader summary:  revali spirits you away to enjoy the new years eve festivities.

   In the darkness of your room, you awoke to the sound of a soft tapping on your window. Twisting in the mess of blankets and pillows, you pushed aside the papers and textbooks that had accumulated at the foot of the bed, noticing only then that the candle at your desk had long since extinguished. 

Head pounding, you rubbed at your tired eyes, feeling heavy. How long had you been asleep?

The tapping grew more insistent, forcing you to get up. Grumbling, you allowed yourself a second to stretch, ignoring how your room felt like water sloshing in a glass. 

"Yeah, yeah. Hold on!" You said, hobbling to the window. Brushing the mess of hair from your eyes, you pulled the curtains away and roughly pushed it open. 

The culprit hovered outside, eyes bright and smug. Revali looked very much at home though he was floating at a dizzying distance away from the ground. In the sleepy haze, he looked like a painting of some myth you had read before, with the late night sky as his backdrop and the outline of your window as his frame. 

"Took you long enough."

"Apologies. I thought some tree branches were hitting the glass." 

The Rito made a show of turning in the air. "Funny, I don't see any nearby trees."

"I know," you sighed, disappointed. 

Revali rolled his eyes and poked his head through the window, feathers brushing past your cheek as he ignored your personal space in favour of scoping out your room. The stiff turn of his neck as he looked around reminded you of the curious and confused little birds that landed on the sill from time to time. 

"Quite a dreary home you have here." Gesturing to the overall darkness, he pointed to your stack of scattered papers. "You shouldn't study without proper lighting, it's bad for your eyes." 

"I was asleep."

"Why, I'm surprised. And here I thought you were one of the festive many who choose to stay awake at an ungodly hour in order to count down the remaining seconds of the year."

"Well," you shrugged, not wanting to meet his eyes. "Not like it's anything special. New year, same shit. What difference would a countdown do?" 

Biting down on your tongue, you stopped yourself from saying anymore. The cold breeze sifted past the light shirt you were wearing, making you shiver. 

He was right, normally you were one of those people who stayed up, excitedly watching the hands of the clocktower tick til they reached midnight. You enjoyed the energy of being in a collective crowd, waiting with bated breath for the first inhale and exhale you would take into the brand new year.

The final month on the Hylian calendar brought a sense of relief and a hope for new beginnings. Usually today of all days  you were at your happiest, jumping at the prospect of celebrating along with the rest of the kingdom and yet…

That sinking weight clawed at your chest again, forcing you to clamp down on it once more.

You grimaced. There it was; that bitter feeling. Hylia. How annoying. It twisted in your brain like an angry snake, pulling down your mood and enthusiasm along with it. 

Last year you wanted to cheer and dance until the morning light. Now all you felt like was staring at the wall. Or falling asleep. 

You blinked, turning back to the window to see Revali patiently waiting for you to continue. Feeling your face warm, you hustled your brain to get a move on. A coherent thought would be great right about…now!

"Hey have you ever wondered why they don't grow trees on this side of the castle? It's not fair the more expensive quarters get all the pretty greenery. I mean, non-noble guests still need that sweet oxygen everyone keeps raving about, you get me?" Shut up brain, that's enough. I said a coherent thought. C o h e r e n t. 

Stars in his wings, Revali shook his head but answered anyway. "I agree, it's hardly fair. Also go change into something warm, we need to get you outside."

"What? Why?"

Something in the Rito's expression clued you in to the fact that he wasn't in the mood to play stupid. You've been sitting in the dark for the past few days and it didn't take a private investigator to know it was playing tricks with your head. "Fine, but when I say we go back--we go back, got it?"

He huffed, turning around to give you some privacy. "I promise on my honour."

The brightly lit lanterns of the town square made you squint as you shuffled closer to your guide, the sound of the city loud in your ears.

Though less prominent, the twisting feeling in your gut continued, making you more hyper-alert than usual to the world around you. Adjusting the sleeves of your coat, you followed Revali past the streets, the Rito expertly navigating through the sea of people. 

Somewhere along the way he had taken your hand, and you told yourself it was a good way for you both to stick together. Wouldn't want you getting lost and spending the final minutes of the year playing an elaborate game of hide and seek after all. He was a great friend like that. Nevermind that everytime you would hold his wing a little tighter to remind yourself that he was there, he would always squeeze back. 

You needed a distraction. 

Just focus on everything that's not him.

The night was alive with the sound of music. It didn't matter if you partied with an alcoholic drink in hand, or a glass of milk, everyone in Hyrule was filled with an addictive buzz that came with an event that only happened once a year. Vendors with bright smiles called out from their stalls, the smell of freshly baked sweets or the sizzle of a barbecue beckoning you to take a closer look. To your left, a group of friends raised their hands in the air, loudly welcoming a Goron that had turned up late but regardless had finally arrived. 

The archer followed your line of sight, guessing the question bouncing in your head. "Daruk is in Eldin, probably rattling Death Mountain with that story again about the Moblin camp and the barrel of explosives."

"I love that story."

"Of course you would."

"Sorry about your feathers though."

"Whatever, they grew back."

"How about the one's on your--"

"Anyway," he interjected quickly, playfully nudging you to the side and glowering at your laughter. "We've been told to 'take a break'. The other Champions have chosen to spend this day with their families and loved ones. We are planning to regroup and continue preparations in the days following."

"How about you?"

"I already said it."

Your cheeks coloured at the implications of his words, mind replaying the previous sentence. Families and loved ones. Families and loved ones. He didn't even hesitate. You both were not related. So that left you with...

"Woah!" Digging your heels into the dirt, you abruptly paused your brisk walk and saved yourself from colliding with the archer's back. 

Stopping at one of the stalls, Revali held two fingers up. You glanced up at him questioningly but he refused to give anything away, expression relaxed. The vendor returned quickly, the Rito thanking them quietly and placing the payment on the bright yellow table cloth along with a large tip in their jar. 

He turned around, dropping a square shaped pastry into your hands. It was some kind of rice cake, with a fluffy exterior and a golden baked surface that smelled of butter and felt warm like the sun. 

Taking a bite, you smiled at the hints of coconut that were hidden in its sweet flavour. The sticky treat was familiar somehow. "Is this so luck sticks to you in the new year?"

Revali scoffed, though failed to hide his own smile behind the cake held in his wing. "You said the same thing when we first met. You need new material."

"Says the baron of bird puns."

"I am the king." He punctuated the statement by biting into his own rice cake. Offering his wing, he gently took your hand once more, turning back to step again into the busy promenade. 

Following him, you noticed that the crowds ever so slowly began to thin. A lantern lit hill was coming up. The grassy expanse was dotted with a few people, though it was blessingly not as populous as the town square. "I should be the one that's surprised. Thought you hated crowds unless their attentions were all on you."

"It's tolerable so long as I am with good company." 

The both of you walked up the hill with an unspoken agreement to make it to the top. Taking a seat on the grass, you allowed yourself to breathe, chest heaving from the small burst of exercise after days of being sedentary. 

The twinkling lights of Castle Town stretched out before you. Gazing at it, you could imagine all the untold stories hidden in the glowing little pockets of the alleys and in the hushed whispers behind closed doors. Funny how in a city so full of people, one can feel so alone. 

Revali was the first to speak, breaking you from your thoughts. "I think I can understand now. Looking at it from this distance, it really can feel like nothing much has changed."

You continued to stare at the lights, trying to focus on a certain string in an attempt to ground yourself. "Yeah. Sometimes it feels like though the world continues to spin, I'm remaining completely still. Just stagnant."

Frowning, you ran your hands through the grass, feeling the dirt shift under your fingers. You could feel your frustrations building, bubbling up to the surface with no way of dragging them back down. 

"And the challenges just get worse every year. How am I going to face those old problems and these new ones if I'm still the same lost person I was back then?"

Your voice echoed at the last sentence, making you hide your head in embarrassment. That was loud. 

Some strangers relaxing on the hill turned around to flash you an annoyed glare, before quickly returning to their picnics after spotting the Great Eagle Bow on your friend's back. 

 "I'm so sorry." You wanted more than anything then to dig a hole and hibernate preferrably for the next hundred years or so. "I'm yelling, that isn't like me. I'm so so--"

"There's nothing to be sorry about. You needed to say it." He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. There was a serious element to it that made it a little hard to breathe. "There is one part of that I don't agree with, however."

"What is it?"

"That entire section about you, how did you put it, stagnanting." He twisted a wing in the air, thinking on his words before pointing a feather directly at your face. "You're fully capable of enacting the change you want to see in yourself."

You felt a little dizzy now. But another kind of dizzy, one very different from the vertigo you felt waking up in the darkness of your room. 

"And who said you were exactly the same as you were back then? You've changed. In a good way. You're stronger and more capable of things I'm sure the person you were two years ago or even less couldn't even fathom doing." 

Turning to face you, Revali gave you his full attention, compelling you to do the same as the cadence of his speech joined the steady rhythm of your own beating heart. From the back of your mind, you could barely register the sound of people gathering together, their voices floating into the cold night air. 

'Ten!'

"It's difficult to see your own progress from a distance."

'Nine!'

"So take my advice and start looking at yourself up close for once."

'Eight!'

He had that expression on his face, one that said he was thinking too hard about something. It was like watching him try to pull the planets together with just a piece of string. His brows were furrowed so deep that your fingers wished to run over his feathers and smoothe the worried creases. 

'Seven!'

You slowly reached out to him, giving him enough time to back away. Revali stilled as your hands traced up the nape of his neck, leaning in as his pulse thrummed underneath the soft pads of your fingertips. 

'Six!'

He opened his beak the moment you reached his face. You paused, half expecting him to tell you to let go and pretend like it never happened. 

Instead, he called out your name. 

'Five!'

He said your name again, though quieter now. It was enough to tug at the invisible force drawing you two together. Enough so that the polite distance nervously enforced by the both of you gradually began to dissipate, trailing away like a ribbon of smoke as you both leaned in closer.

'Four!'

"May I--," He cleared his throat, eyes darting away for a second before they were back on you again. Bright green in the lantern light. Emeralds in the desert sand. 

'Three!'

"May I kiss you?"

"Yes."

'Two!'

"Your way or mine?" You couldn't help but joke. Revali smiled, exhaling a soft joyful laugh before pressing his forehead to yours. 

'One!'

'Happy New Year!'

An earth-shaking boom rattled your ears, but all you could think of in that moment was Revali and the feel of his feathers against your skin; the utter elation of being so close to someone you deeply cared for and that cared just as deeply for you. 

In the dazzling light you lifted your head from his, both your eyes meeting for a brief moment. Hands moving, you gently angled his face with a steady hand, feeling then the soft, butterfly light brush of his wings on your waist.

Closing your eyes again, you leaned in to press your lips against his beak, the blush on your face warmer than any fever or furnace. The Rito's soft sigh was barely audible as you trailed your kisses upwards, stopping at the red circle on his cheek. 

Revali laughed again as you turned his face to press a kiss to the identical red mark on the other side. "You're very thorough."

"You deserve it." You beamed. "And this is just the beginning, just you wait at the end of the countdown I'll--"

"Actually my dear," he grinned, pointing to the sky. 

"Huh?"

Above you were the vibrant colours of the firework display. It was beautiful and awe-inspiring, but a confirmation that you were definitely minutes in to the new year.

"Oh," you said, before shaking your head with a smile. "It's fine, we got 12 more months to prepare ourselves for the next one."

Revali nodded, pulling you closer so he could press your foreheads together again.

"Indeed," he grinned. "Now will you finish your sentence? What exactly were you going to do at the end of the countdown?"

fin. 

[luxielle]

Hurt words: 1453 | Ray x Lumen SFW CW: minor injury, blood

>>Ray (01:22 PM): Okay...I'll come. >>Ray (01:22 PM): Thank you... If she were honest with herself, she was pretty awful at the whole “comforting presence” thing. Lumen held her nails out and studied the chipped pink polish—they weren’t the hands of a caretaker, but she’d take care of him. He might be the first person she’d ever wanted to take care of. She was trying to be more honest with herself these days.

He looked rough. Hair disheveled and curling at the tips (clearly needing a touchup with the flatiron), dark circles below his eyes, his usually-pristine jacket now wrinkled at the waist—he must have been sitting in that chair for hours. She held the door open and stepped aside, giving him a small smile and gesturing for him to come in. It only ever took him two strides to get anywhere, it seemed..he may be exhausted, but his body was seemingly programmed to been a hurry: wide strides, quick steps, half-dead and yet still always rushing. It was the first time he’d ever foregone his usual over-enthusiastic greeting.

Lumen walked over to the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to her. He sat down, almost too tired to be uncomfortable—almost. He was still a good distance away from her, so she scooted closer and held out her hand for his.

“Can I take a look…?”

He opened his mouth as if to apologize and leave, but it was an argument he just didn’t have the energy for. Instead, he weakly held out his hand towards her, still not putting it in hers until she wrapped her own around his.

Her grip was so gentle, he thought he might cry if he wasn’t so exhausted.

She lightly ran her finger across his palm underneath his glove, slowly working it off of his long fingers.

“It’s…I’m sorry, they’re disgusting.”

“Mm, I don’t think so,” she said, pulling it carefully off of his hand. His nails were all bitten down to the quick; he winced when it finally came off completely, his ring finger caked with dried blood around the cuticle. She could see the strip of raw, swollen skin and tried to imagine how tired someone had to be that ripping a hangnail to stay awake was preferable to taking a nap.

Not tired, she thought. Paranoid.

He was waiting for her to gasp, to grimace, to wince, waiting for her to scold him. At the very least, he expected a disappointed sigh. None of that happened, though. Instead, her expression remained soft as she ran her thumb over his knuckles, keeping his fingers splayed out so she could inspect. He felt something in his chest jolt when she raised his hand and pressed a soft kiss to the top of it.

“I should be honest with you, I’m actually a pretty awful nurse,” she said with a soft laugh. “But…I think I can handle this.”

“You…it’s fine, you really don’t have to, I’ll be fine,” he mumbled. He felt obligated to give her an out, but oh, how he hoped she’d let him stay. The parts of his brain that would normally berate him for manipulating her into caring this much were all too worn out right now to stop him from silently begging her to keep touching him.

She clicked her tongue lightly. “You’ll be extra-fine when I’m done; you’re staying. I’m guessing there’s a first aid kit somewh—“

“Under the bathroom sink,” he muttered.

She gave his hand a careful squeeze before getting up and gingerly stepping inside the en suite, clicking the cabinet open and returning with a little white box.

“Mm, this probably isn’t going to feel super great…” she said after popping the top off and setting it next to her, fishing around for something to clean the cut. “Looks like we’ve only got rubbing alcohol. Might sting a little…”

“It’s fine,” he whispered.

He heard her tip the bottle over and moisten a cotton ball, gently returning to rest his hand in hers, now holding his fingers steady as she leaned in.

“I’d tell you it’d hurt less if you don’t look, but—“ she carefully wiped at the caked-on blood, pausing a little before swiping it gently over the little slice of raw skin, “—I’ve found that to be kind of bullshit,” she muttered. She was waiting for him to flinch, for him to hiss at the burn, and glanced up to see nothing more than his eyes carefully trained on the cotton ball. She could tell he was clenching his back teeth, but only because she was looking for it.

Three more cotton balls, now in a tiny blood-stained pile on the nightstand, and she was carefully dabbing on ointment. Ray hated seeing her pretty polished nails slide over his broken fingertips as she rubbed in the cream. He hated it, hated how selfish it made him, but he wouldn’t trade this moment for anything. Because even though he was still him, disfigured and weak and pathetic, he could smell her shampoo and he was close enough to see how she bit the inside of her bottom lip when she was concentrating—it suddenly shook awake things that he had spent so much time trying to keeping quiet: things like the realization that this was the first time in a long time anyone had paid him so much attention to him.

His back teeth were clenched tight again, this time from the stinging around his eyes as he tried not to cry. He didn’t need to make himself look even more pathetic in this moment. But god did he wish she would keep touching him like this, so gently and with such…reverence? With such care?

He heard the sharp tear of the sterile packaging as she pulled out the little bandage, peeling off the liner and carefully wrapping it around his finger, smoothing the edge down with her thumb.

“Ta-da,” she said softly, letting go of Ray’s hand and twisting the cap back onto the rubbing alcohol. “Definitely my best work,” she chimed as she snapped the lid of the first-aid kit shut, standing now to return it to its home beneath the sink. She almost dropped it when Ray’s hand shot out to grab her wrist.

“Please—please don’t go,” he hissed out, expression tight and fixed on the floor.

“I’m just putting—“ she felt his hand tighten around her wrist. “I’m…I can do that later,” she said softly, setting the box down on the table again and resuming her place next to him on the bed. He let her wrist drop and mumbled a “thank you,” and she tilted her head as she studied his face (one that still wouldn’t dare make eye contact with her). She carefully raised a hand to tuck a piece of fallen hair behind his ear—now he flinched.

“Hey…come here…” she said softly, tugging his sleeve towards her and urging him to lay down, gently placing his head on her lap. She ran her fingers lightly through his hair, combing through it and looking down at him. He was slumped stiffly against her on the bed, ungloved hand sticking awkwardly off to the side, as if he didn’t want to somehow disturb her hard work.

“Ah—here, I know what’ll help,” she said quietly, fingers still playing with his hair. He heard her grab a pen off of the table and click it open with her thumb. “Here, gimme,” she said, reaching for his hand. He limply bent it towards her, not bothering to look up from the carpet as he let her grab it and hold his fingers against hers. He felt the tip of the pen drag along the against the non-hurt side of the bandage.

She clicked the pen shut, tossing it back on the table and returned his hand. “There. Heals twice as fast now, promise.” He held his fingertip in front of his face and stared at the little heart she had drawn on the band-aid. He stared at it for what felt like a very long time until he lost the battle against his burning eyes, tucking his hand to his chest and letting out a wet sob. She felt him finally tuck himself up onto the bed, curling into her and burying his face into her lap as he cried.

Lumen leaned down and kissed him softly on his temple. Here’s where he’d normally apologize for such a show and where she’d tell him it was okay, he was allowed to fall apart—instead, she quietly let him cry, holding him as long as he needed to be held. If she were honest with herself—as she was trying so hard to be these days—she might just hold him for the rest of his life if he needed.

Honestly, she might need that, too.

[bonny-kookoo]

Charming Girl (J.JK x Reader) 🎀☁️💜🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Good Girl!AU, Angst (a bit), Fluff, Smut of course because I can’t write anything normal these days smh

Warnings: Koo has a fight with his GG and says some mean things, Taehyung has a brief appearance and it’s actually all sfw and fluffy but he curses a lot so beware, smut, usage of toys (a vibrator to be specific), manhandling/restriction of movement, GG swallows because y’all should empty the plate when the meal is good, Mentions of past infidelity and overall toxic relationship, there’s a scene where Jk spits in GGs mouth, pls don’t judge lmao

Summary: Jungkook really didn’t mean to say the things he did. He’s not even sure how his brain could even come up with such hurtful things; yet he did, and now, knowing that you’ve taken shelter in Taehyungs apartment out of all places, he’s forced to clean up his mess- and for the first time he can’t ask you for help.

Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl || Pretty Girl || Charming Girl || Enticing Girl

Taglist: @sweetenedcooky @ggukkieland @btsismybias22 @darkgvk @daddypkj @flowerprincess24 @crazylittlemay @zeharilisharaban @teresaisla @tangledsparkles

You had everything planned out. You even thought about making an entire PowerPoint presentation on why this was a good idea, why this should be done immediately; yet you decided against it, simply planning on explaining it to him the traditional way instead of overdoing it. This was technically his apartment after all, you were simply living with him and sharing rent and space.

Ever since you were small, your family had pets. Your parents had a dog that died sadly when you were young, later on you got your own pet; a guinea pig named Harold, whom you had all throughout your childhood. Harold died of old age when you were barely 14, and you felt as if your heart had been ripped out and buried in your yard instead of the small Tricoloured body. Ever since then you had promised yourself to get another pet when you were older.

When you had your first relationship, it lasted for a year or so, your ex had never wanted a pet. He'd complained that it was as if he was getting a child- and that he wasn't ready to be a dad yet. So you never got one during that time, even though time and space were there.

Now at 22, you had the space and time (and money most importantly), yet you didn’t have the approval of your dear housemate and boyfriend living with you. You didn’t really think it would be an issue honestly; he’d always been an animal lover- so you couldn’t quite understand the situation you got yourself in.

„But look, I’m gonna do all the work, I’ll only have them in my room, you won’t even notice they’re there!“ you whined, walking after him out of the kitchen. You knew you were being a little childish; he’d said two times already that no, not right now, and no, because no. He couldn’t quite give you a full answer that could satisfy you, and you had already noticed that he was grumpy, but you had grown so safe around him that you didn’t spot the warning signs.

„God y/n can you please sh-...“ he inhaled, rubbing a hand over his face, trying to calm himself. „Please, not now. I’m really not in the mood.“ he said, and you pouted at him. Usually he would find it cute, but right now he was too riled up to really let his vision lead his thoughts. He’d recently started to get more and more agitated whenever he came home, always tired and frustrated. And he didn’t tell you what it was, so maybe that had fueled your pettiness towards him.

„Well tomorrow you’re gonna be grumpy too!“ you said, raising your hands, before facing him. „If you can’t tell me why not then I’m doing it anyways! I’m not just going to blindly do what you want just because-„ you said, but he suddenly snapped, voice way more forceful than yours, making you back off a bit.

„Yeah well if you would do what I said you wouldn’t be standing here throwing a tamper tantrum like a fucking toddler!“ he yelled, taking your opening mouth as another attempt in trying to persuade him. You actually however, wanted to apologize. Those words died down inside your throat when his next left his lips. „Can’t you act your age just for a second? I’m really into fucking you, but also acting like a father isn’t on my list of favorites, thank you very much-„

It was almost comical how his own voice slowly lost volume and tune at the end of his sentence, as soon as he saw the way your eyes widened, face evolving into a look of something he never wanted to see, let alone because of him; it was a look of betrayal, hurt, and even shame- because deep down he knew there was a spark of honesty in between his words, but he also knew that this was you, this was something you couldn’t control. And he’d just used these insecurities and flaws against you.

Your delicate hands suddenly clenched, creating small but angry fists, unraveling just to weakly Push his chest, eyes suddenly swimming with frustrated water that trickled down your cheeks. He just stood there frozen, forced to watch how you stormed away into your room, not even his bedroom you two had been sharing these nights, and he still stood in the exact same spot when you emerged again with your small pink sportsbag, rushing past him and leaving his apartment with nothing more than the lingering scent of you, and the suffocating feeling of his own voice still heavy in the air. A chuckle escaped him, lacking any form of happiness or humor as he began to sob into his hand trying to keep his emotions inside. The wall next to him cracked loudly as his knuckles came in contact with it; breaking skin and wall the same, yet the pain he felt inside his soul was greater than the sting of his scratched up hand.

Right now, Jeon Jungkook really hated himself.

You didn’t have high hopes honestly, and as the door opened, you only looked at the mismatched socks of the older friend of Jungkook. Alex didn‘t have an own apartment, and you honestly didn’t have enough money to stay at a hotel, so Taehyung had been the only option left. You had his number still, and he’d answered to your text that he was home; yet you still had some worry down your throat that he wouldn’t let you in. He simply opened the door fully, leading you inside, and showing you were to hang your jacket and leave your shoes.

His apartment wasn’t huge, but it was nice; you didn’t expect what you saw at all. It was warm, it smelled nice- not like your own home of course, but you’d expected his living space to be a bit more.. chaotic. He was quiet, walking into the kitchen and pouring two cups of something, before placing them down on his living room table. Here and there you could spot small things that showed he lived there; his Juul on the windowsill next to his balcony door, polaroids taped onto the wall, or his sweater halfheartedly thrown over the couch. You sat down on the edge of said seating place, your pink socks running over his light wood laminate. It was scratched, showed that he’d moved the furniture a couple of times since he lived here. Your eyes snapped towards the soft looking slippers he tossed next to your feet, shoe size way too small to be his. „My uhm-„ he scratched his head a bit before actually looking a bit shy. „My girlfriend she.. her feet get cold easily on my flooring so uhm, you can use these.“ he said, and for the first time you actually looked at him. His red hair was gone, dyed pitch black, a little curly too- it suited him well, you decided. „Ah yeah I- Guess I wanted a change.“ he said, going into the kitchen to shut down the lights before sitting down, looking at you. „So.. trouble in paradise huh?“ he said, taking a sip of his cup, eyes watching you.

You felt your eyes sting again, and Taehyubg Shuffle around in his spot. “I just..” you said, before reaching for the mug, hands uncaring of the hot temperature seeping into your skin, taking it as a punishment in a weird way. “I didn’t think About him you know? I mean, he told he he likes to take care of me but.. maybe he changed his mind?“ you said, shrugging your shoulders and sighing. „Sorry to invade like that too..“ tryout mumbled, back arching as if to cower. Taehyung clicked his tongue, crossing his legs.

„You’re Not, don’t worry.“ he said, setting his cup down with a crack against the table. His hands were so different from Jungkooks you noticed; fingers longer and thinner, nails wide. He was a tall person, so it made sense. „Jungkook can be.. difficult.“ he said, leaning his head on his hand. „He doesn’t show it but he’s clumsy. That combined with his usefulness when it comes to apologizing doesn’t really make a good mix.“ he admitted, smirking a bit as his phone lit up from the table, showing a notification from Jungkook, before vibrating a bit again and again, stopping at the count of 12. he didn’t comment on it, but continued. „I don’t think he meant what he said in a bad way. I guess he’s having a bad day, which doesn’t make it better honestly.“ he shrugged, and you bit your lip. „Also lean back a bit will ya? You look like you’re about to break a bone.“ he said, and you sat down more properly.

„I’m worried Taehyung.“ you said. „He.. I really like him, but I’m so scared he’ll get tired of me.“ you mumbled, finally taking a sip, hot chocolate swishing over your tongue, liquid warming your throat as you swallowed. „They all do.“ you whispered into the cup, and Taehyung got serious.

„Have you’ve been in a relationship before?“ he asked, and you nodded.

„Hmhm.. he cheated when he noticed I wanted to wait longer than he did. He stayed with me though because I paid for dinner. His words by the way.“

Taehyung laughed humorously, giving you a look of empathy. „Dickhead.“ he said. „Listen, Jungkook doesn’t know how relationships work. He’s horrible at it honestly, worse than me.“ he said, laughing a bit. „He doesn’t know jackshit about stuff, so you gotta teach him.“ he said. „I’m honestly surprised you both are together at all. Cause he knows this, and he never continues in things he’s bad at.“ you nodded at this. Though he knew Jungkook way longer than you did, you also knew this small detail about him. You'd wondered several times before, but you've never asked him openly about his actual dating history. If you were honest you didn't even knew if he had one to begin with. Maybe he'd always been like he was before you? You couldn't know. "What I'm trying to say is-" Taehyung said, breaking the silence, before standing up and patting your head a bit playfully to cheer you up. "Give it time. Don't try and fix things this time; let him do the work for once. God knows he needs a slap in the face once in a while, you've been babying him too much." He laughed, and you actually smiled as well. Maybe you really did need to wait. After all, his words had hurt deep down in your soul, leaving you embarrassed and insecure- he should get his cut of the cake as well. Sharing is caring, and all that.

Whatever the fuck that was he did that night, it definitely hadn't been sleeping, that much was clear to him. He honestly looked like shit, he'd been told at work, and after several hours of snapping at his coworkers because of his headache, he'd been sent home for the rest of the remaining day, leaving him to visit his local doc and calling in sick for the last two days of the week. He highly doubted that he'd gain enough energy to really get anything done- having made mistakes over and over again today, leaving him with a feeling of uselessness. And the worst part?

Coming home.

Now usually, this would be his favorite part; he'd lay his head onto your lap while you looked at something on your laptop in the living room, or he'd get to catch you silently humming along a song on your phone while you cooked something. But he'd fucked things up these days, so his apartment had gotten a stale aftertaste as he walked through his door, nothing greeting him but silence. The lights were off, darkness swallowing the rooms until he switched them on. Has his lights always been so cold? He never noticed anymore whenever you were there.

He knew he was supposed to do something, but exactly that was the issue. He didn't knew what- because even if he asked you for forgiveness, it wouldn't make up for the crack that he'd seen in your eyes, not to mention how he didn't feel like he deserved it at all. He knew you would accept his apology as soon as he'd say it to you, and that made it so much worse for him. He couldn't even start to imagine how easy prey you were for men- and not in any way good.

This had become an issue over time. He felt like he had to protect you from everything it seemed, yet he also wanted you to become more independent- but there was the issue. He was actually scared. Because if you started to become less and less dependent on him,

would you still want him, if you didn't need him?

This had been a question riling him up greatly. It popped up randomly in his head, making it hard to really think of anything else- because deep down there was this voice, telling him that no; as soon as you found the amount of confidence you should have, considering your angelic character in his eyes- you'd start to see what an actual asshole he was. He'd never understood what exactly you saw in him to begin with. Sure, he had the looks kind of, he knew that from the amount of flirty comments he'd get, but character wise he was an absolute garbage can. He was picky, needy of being held in high standards, he craved praise and recognition. He was selfish, wanted everything for himself, and hated sharing anything. He was too honest, swore way too much, and had a chaotic way of keeping track of things.

He'd punched the poor wall in the living room again last night, the remnants still lingering like a bleeding wound, white dust from the broken material scattered over the dark carpet. After he'd heard you went to Taehyung out of all people, he'd completely lost it- eventually falling asleep on the couch, crying like a toddler after a tantrum. Ironic, since he'd called you one, when in reality it seemed that he was the immature one in this relationship.

This time he simply let himself fall onto the couch, a stray blanket still crumpled up pathetically on the cushions, looking almost how he felt. He knew he should do something, but he couldn't get himself to- simply falling onto his side, just to fall asleep, dreams haunting him much worse than before without you there to soothe him.

After staying with Taehyung and his Girlfriend for two days, you felt like you were intruding, in a way. You also didn't like to run away anymore, deciding to face whatever would be waiting for you at home. Jungkooks friend had driven you, asking if he should come upstairs with you but you had declined- this was something you needed to do by yourself.

To say the apartment was a mess was an understatement. Empty noodle cups on the kitchen counter, sink filled with dishes. The bathroom door was open, showing that he'd been showering just recently it seemed, yet the clothes on the floor made you wonder if it was in a hurry. Even though he was chaotic, Jungkook was never really messy in a way. But the way everything looked told a different story.

You also noticed just how dark it was. The curtains were closed, room stuffy from not airing out like you did every morning, and the couch looked like he slept on it. But why? Even if he felt bad, he could at least sleep in his own bed, you wondered.

But you also noticed the lack of the person in question.

Worried, you crept into the bedroom, not finding him there. What helped to ease your mind however was, that his open dresser was still filled with clothes- he didn't leave.

So wherever he was, maybe at work? You decided to clean up, and get things a bit more comfortable around the small apartment. He did tell you to be mature, after all.

Opening the apartment door with a bit of struggle considering the items in his hands, he instantly noticed something different. Maybe it was the fresh air, the amount of light in the apartment, or the fact that soft music played in the background, dishes clattering in the kitchen. He slowly set down everything he'd bought, almost tip-toeing into his home, eyes widening upon your form standing in front of the sink, hands occupied inside soapy water. You didn't turn around, but he could see in the way you bit your lip that you'd noticed him already, yet chose not to look at him. You feared one look would be enough to set you off, make you cry, and you knew this would probably end up as something new he could complain about. Okay, maybe not, you knew he wouldn't, but you were so unsure how to act around him now that it just felt.. awkward.

And Jungkook hated it.

He chewed on his lip as well, moving to get the stuff he'd bought set up inside the living room, wordlessly working on setting down the doggy bed, placing the other bags filled with food and toys down as well. You couldn't help but peak around the corner, almost comically leaning behind the wall between the kitchen and living room, only showing a fraction of your face. Jungkook actually chuckled at the picture you posed to him as, although it did sting a bit that you seemed too cautious around him now to actually get closer. "Can you come over here for a second please?" He timidly asked, and you looked a bit hesitant, before eventually walking closer to him, sitting on the floor in front of him, with a bit of space keeping you both apart. He sighed, before lowering his head. "I.. You can't imagine how fucking sorry I am for what I said. I didn't.. I had no right to talk to you like that, and I really fucking regret it." He said, making you nod, not looking at him either, occupying yourself with a stray string of your sock that you'd accidentally put on inside out. "I'm just.. I dont know how to actually explain it without sounding like an ass, so I'll just.." He started, running a hand through his rather long hair. "I've been noticing how you started to change like, you're becoming so much more confident and I love it, I really do, but at the same time it absolutely terrifies me because-" He sighed, scratching his neck and hand reaching out to you, not really grabbing or anything, but simply brushing against your smaller hand with his finger. It was a pathetic gesture really, but he had to clear his throat again before he spoke. "The more you can stand up for yourself, the less you'll need me, and I.. I know I sound like an asshole but I need you to need me, I just.. I need to have you lean on me and like, make me do shit for you because I'm selfish, yeah, I'll admit it. I'm a fucking dick who needs to get his ego stroked and-" Suddenly your hand grabbed his, both hands running over his tattooed skin on the back of his, and he looked at you with the eyes of desperation written in capslock. You smiled at him, so understanding and warm that he felt like crying.

"I'll always need you Jungkookie." You said, scooting forward and straddling him, burying your head into his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of him as he wrapped his arms around you, his head in the crook of your neck. "Who's gonna kick someones butt when they bully me in PvP games?" You said, and he chuckled, laughing, and pulled you even closer for a moment before you pulled away from him, brushing his hair out of his eyes and intentionally messily wiping his eyes, making him grin and laugh before grabbing your wrists, kissing your nose, cheeks, your entire face before you gasped for air from laughing so hard, begging him to stop. "What do you-" You said, catching your breath. "What is all that though?" You asked, and he pulled out his phone out of his back pocket, sniffling still a bit as he tapped away on his cracked screen, before he showed you a picture of a small white puppy, pink tongue peaking out of its mouth as it looked at the camera. You squealed, before connecting the dots. The dog toys. The bags filled with food. "No way.." You said, eyes wide as he became a bit shy.

"I know you wanted something small, but.. I found her on our local shelter's website, and I met her yesterday. I thought, a dog could be a good addition-" He said, before you hugged him again, squealing into his chest and making him chuckle. "Don't let yourself be fooled though." His eyebrows raised as he playfully looked at you in a serious way. "She's your personal bodyguard- an absolute killer machine if someone gets too close, we already talked about that." And you had to snort at the image in your head, imagining Jungkook all serious talking to the white fluffy dog about guarding his owner. "We're getting here on Monday, so we got two more days to go until then." He said, and you nodded, not letting go of him. He ran his hand over your head, suddenly more serious again. "I really mean it though." You raised your head at that, looking at him questioningly. "I.. I really like how you are. Deep down I guess I know that you're actually the mature one in this, so I guess I at least want to feel as if I have the upper hand, you know?" He said, and you smiled at that.

"Well, you do though." You said, leaning your head to the side before toying with the hem of his shirt. He looked at you now, before you answered. "I still.. trust you." Your voice got a bit breathier, before you said your next sentence. "You can do all you want with me. I'm yours after all." And he groaned, letting his head fall back. "What?" You questioned amused.

"Don't say shit like that right now-" He whined, trying to force the image of the cute puppy into his head instead of you, lying underneath him in all your glory, ready for him to- nop, no no no, cute puppies, cute puppies. But you didn't understand his standpoint it seemed.

"But why though? Don't you.. you know, want to?" You said hesitantly.

He shook his head. "No, you know I kind of always want to but.. I don't want you to feel as if that's all I want." He said, looking stressed. You smiled again, leaning into him.

"I mean, that's not true. I know that." You answered, before getting a teasing spark inside your eyes. "Either that, or its so good that you go as far as to get me a cute puppy." You chuckled, and his eyes got just as impish as yours, hand smacking your behind in a playful way.

"Careful. You could charm anyone into buying you a dog with those eyes." He said, smirking. You grinned proudly, and he suddenly attacked your neck, lifting you up and throwing you over his shoulder, the sound of your laughter music to his ears. He actually hadn't slept in his own bedroom solely because of the reason that he'd be tormented with the memories of you both, showing him almost mockingly what he'd almost lost. Now he didn't feel pressured anymore, he felt as if he was worthy enough to be in here, as weird as it sounded.

Letting you fall onto the mattress, you giggled as you jumped a bit on it, making him grin as he crawled over your form, immediately attacking your lips in a searing kiss, not even asking for entrance at all, simply taking. He slowly grew more and more impatient, hands grabbing and running over your skin almost possessively as he growled out his displeasure about your choice of shelter. He didn't say it out loud because he had no right to talk about it, plus he was deep down grateful that you've spent the night there instead of somewhere else, but he hated the fact that you slept over at Taehyungs place. He knew you'd never be unfaithful, yet he couldn't help but feel insecure when you left, knowing that you could easily find someone else, someone better in his eyes than him. The time apart made him cherish you again in a new way, teeth biting your skin gently, leaving marks on your skin that would soon blossom beautifully in different shades. You mewled at that, his grin reappearing, before he opened his infamous drawer under his bedside table, taking something out that seemed to be still packaged. You looked curiously, yet turned all shades of pink when you saw what it was.

"Hm.. you like it princess?" He asked, opening the plastic and cardboard packaging of the device as you began to grow a little more restless at the sight of it. It appeared to be a vibrator of some sorts, coloring just the way you liked it- soft pink with white details, making you wonder how on earth something so sinful could also look so pretty. You'd never really cared for toys like that, but Jungkook had talked about maybe using them before. "Thought you'd like it." He said lowly. "You're gonna love it once I'm done with you." He promised, glad that he saw the small green LED light up- it luckily came pre-charged, so he could use it right away after he'd cleaned it with a babywipe. "Hm, lets see what it can do, yeah?" he huskily proposed, sitting on his legs in front of you. "Strip princess. Lemme' see my gorgeous baby." He said, and you started to undress just as he told you. You've long stopped feeling self-conscious around him after all the times he'd seen you, and he also always made sure to make you feel good about yourself, so you didn't hesitate anymore when it came to things like these.

As soon as you laid there, bare as the day you joined humanity, he used the tip of the toy to gather your slick between your legs, nudging against your very center, making you jump a bit at the foreign feeling. He smiled like the devil himself as he covered it in your own personal lubrication, before it entered you, making you sigh. It definitely couldn't match up to his own length, that was something you immediately noticed, but once he clicked a button, your whines started to sound in the room, making him smile at the view of your squirming form. Oh how long he'd imagined about this exact moment, the way you moved even more bewitching as he could've imagined to be. His mind tried to burn the image into its memory, the way your toes curled, your hands grabbed the sheets, or how your hips moved in a rhythm only you seemed to feel. "hmm, so sweet. You look absolutely divine like that pretty baby." He hummed, before turning the intensity up, making you gasp a bit. He chuckled, moving the vibrator around a bit so the additional small detail close to the switches and buttons pressed against your clit, making you huff out deliciously. He'd always been addicted to your sounds, the way you responded to him oh so well- he felt like he was watching a goddess unravel in his bed, as cheesy as it may sounded. The way you trusted him, gave yourself to him, let him control you like this- it made him feel as if he was on drugs, higher than he could ever get from any substance people used to cloud their minds with. He didn't need anything illegal or toxic to set himself free and let his mind reset back into place. Not when he had someone like you at his mercy, ready to be played with however he may wanted.

As his free hand moves to fondle your breast, kneading the flesh in an almost massaging way and kissing you silly, you yelled out his name as you came undone, breaking apart just to be put together by him later. Your mouth was open in a silent scream, and as he spotted the small strand of saliva still connecting you both he couldn't stop himself from letting a drop of his own fall onto your tongue, pupils dilating at the way you simply swallowed, uncaring how just plain dirty this entire tiny gesture just was. God he'd buy you an entire kennel full of dogs if it meant he'd get to see you like this, all his and his only. He decided to not enter you as you still whined from overstimulation, taking the toy out of you as you weakly reached for him, asking him to help you sit on a little. He helped you as you clumsily tokk him into your mouth, eyes closed and pace steady as he began to groan under his breath, brushing his hand through your hair as he fondly looked down onto your head, lips around him so perfectly that it didn't take him long to suddenly gasp out, giving him no time to warn you. Yet he only felt you swallow before letting him go, his tip sensitive making him hiss a bit, breathing heavy. "God you're perfect." He breathed out, kissing you feverishly as he slowly calmed down, laying on the bed, toy long forgotten on the floor next to the mattress.

You woke up as you felt something cold and weirdly damp against your inner thighs, spotting Jungkooks naked torso as he took out another babywipe, cleaning you with gentle movements. The soft smell of the wet tissues made you smile a bit, as Jungkook used one to clean himself up as well before joining you in bed again, pulling the covers over you. "I really mean it you know." He said, and you hummed questioningly. "I know I don't say it very often if at all but.." he looked at your face with fondness, before he pulled you closer again, letting you rest your head on his bare chest. "I really love you." He said silently, and you smiled, kissing his skin as he placed one to your shoulder, his hand running along your spine.

"I really love you too, Jungkookie." You said, before falling asleep, content and happy in his arms.

"I can't wait to see you holding the pink leash of the cute little princess."

"Do you mean the dog or you? Because I wouldn't mind holding eithe- OW, WHY DID YOU HIT ME?!"

[kuronanox]

Our little secret-Kaien Shiba

"Kaien Shiba my super hot professor."

(Your Name) day dreams with brightful eyes as she sighs and smiles sheepishly.

"(Last Name)!" Kaien shouts smacking her desk with his rolled up paper as she flinched and looks up to him. His brows were knit and focused. "If you keep day dreaming you'll fall behind!"

"Ahh I'm sorry." She apologizes and bows her head respectfully as he laughs and grins.

"I'm joking, but seriously you should try to concentrate more."

(Your Name) chuckles and mentally screams, her tiny heart would hurt if he actually yelled at her.

"Wait he knows my name?!"

She looks back up and Kaien was already at the chalk board lecturing on the next chapter. With one hand on his hip and the other writing some unknown language on the board.

"Concentrate concentrate concentrate!"

She tries to smack her face lightly as she looks lower to stare at his butt and blushes a bit yelping as the students around her stared and she looked down embarrassed.

Once lecture was done she sighed from exhaustion and packed her bag before her name was called out.

"(Last Name)." Kaien calls out as most of the student cleared out of his lecture room and she mentally cursed.

"Yes sensei?" (Your Name) asks staring at her feet interested with the patterns of her new shoes.

"You can look up." He laughs a bit with both his hand on his hips. His tie moving along with his laugh and his tucked in shirt was so irresistible for her she licked her lips. "Anyways I was looking back at some of your test scores and you are falling behind! Is everything alright?" He asks now a bit concerned.

"No! Everything is fine! I'm just not understanding the material and I don't wanna stop class because of my selfish reasons."

Kaien pokes her forehead and grunts, lightly hitting the roll of paper on her head. "Everyone is here to learn. I guarantee someone else have the same question as you too."

(Your Name) goes back to looking at her shoes shyly as the older man sighs but in a concerning way. "How about I tutor you for 30 min after class each day you are here. Monday, Wednesday, Friday." His eyes raising for her answer as she slowly nods.

"I'm sure you are a busy man and I don't have money for a tutor."

"Don't worry about it, my students come first." He assures her with a smile as she smiles back.

"Jesus he's gorgeous! I can't believe he offered to help me learn on his own time for free!"

"I'll see you next week then!" Kaien cheers smacking her head once again before walking out the classroom.

The following weekend for her was so slow because she was excited to spend one on one time with him.

"He's my professor though! It would be wrong to like him! I'm sure he's married or dating already! I mean I should be too because I'm a junior year college student but still a teacher and student relationship would be to spicy."

Throwing her pillow across the room she squirmed in her bed like a fan girl. "A girl can dream though."

Composing herself she went onto her phone and searched through all social media to "research" him some more but she found nothing.

"Maybe he doesn't use social media? He ain't that old yet though." Putting her phone aside she closed her eyes and waited for Monday to come quickly.

Lecture time came as she sat towards the front of the class to concentrate more. Still this chapter and chapters before overlapped each other and she felt super lost and defeated.

Kaien would teach and sometimes look at her direction and from the expression on her face he knew she was struggling. Once the classroom cleared out he arranged his desk to be more roomy for her to set her things down.

"Cha! Are you ready?" He asks enthusiastically opening up his notes from a few chapters back.

She smiled and sat next to him as they got to work.

Over the course of their their tutoring sessions 30 minutes turned to 40, till it reached an hour and then till after dark.

Kaien didn't realized how much he was enjoyed her company that at times they would get off subject and just talked about themselves or their likes.

"I didn't think a 30 year old man would actually enjoy tutoring." He says to her as she gasped picking up her book bag and getting ready to leave their session.

"To be fair I didn't think a 22 year old girl would need tutoring."

Kaien waved her off, closing his classroom up. Looking out the window it was pouring all day. "Did you park in the garage today?" He asks putting his coat on.

"I did actually!"

"Me too, we can walk together."

The walk was normal it didn't seem like a teacher and student relationship, it was more like friends now. To Kaien there was nothing wrong with opening up your options even though he had none.

"You are still young (Your Name) go to parties and have fun." He tells her as she looks up to him, his eyes showed a bit of sadness but she couldn't figure out what.

"30 isn't old! But then again to see your professor at a party would be kinda sus."

Kaien chuckles and shook his head as they made it to the elevator. It was silent but her heart was racing.

They've spent a lot of time with each other since he offered to tutor her but she wanted to know him more. There was a part of him she could tell was missing.

"How was your college life?"

"Wild I did so many things." He tells her placing his hands in his pockets.

"Ahh me too, there are some pretty crazy frat parties." She tells him lightly as he laughs out loud.

"Tell me about it! I've been to plenty."

As they enter the garage, the rain started to pour harder as lightning mixed with the clouds.

"Will you be okay getting home in this rain?"

"Don't worry! I can wait it off on campus." She assures him as he shakes in head and unlock his car, opening his passenger seat.

"You wanna go to the bar? It's only a block down. We can wait it off there and then I'll drive you back to your car."

A part of her wanted to say no only because it seemed wrong to be drinking with her professor but she knew she wasn't a minor or some kid. It was totally fine and it wasn't like she was sleeping with him for better grades.

With a bright smile she gladly took a seat. "Sure!"

To her surprise the bar was pretty busy and it was blasting with music and people all ages mingling. He asked for a booth and took a seat across from her.

"He has to be interested if he took me to a bar or even offered to go out!"

Looking at the menu Kaien offered to pay for the night.

"Don't worry about it! I'm sure we are hungry also, it's been a long day."

(Your Name) was hesitant at first but gave in only because he wouldn't let her pay for nothing since he invited her out. They had a few rounds of drinks and it was easy for her to talk to him because Kaien was pretty open about everything.

"Yeah I remember falling down the stairs at a frat house blacked out in the bathtub after trying to get home." He tells her laughing his ass off thinking about his college days.

"Yeah it took 7 people to carry me out the house, I was dead weight and woke up in my friends house with different clothes." (Your Name) says sharing her side of stories as well.

"So you're a drinker? I wouldn't have thought." Kaien states as he drank the rest of his water. (Your Name) looks at her watch, it was about to hit midnight and the rain was slowing down enough to drive in.

"It's getting kinda late, I'm pretty sure your family is waiting for you." She says nonchalantly without realizing it may have been a sensitive topic.

Kaien slightly frowns but not enough to show discomfort. He kindly smiles to her after and says "no family, it's just me and I."

Her eyes widen in realization as she quickly apologized and bowed her head. He chuckles and ruffles her hair. "Don't worry, no offense taken. It gets lonely at times but I bare with it. Come on I'll drive you to your car."

The whole night they went out he was a gentleman, opening the car door and the bar door. Holding her bag and paying for dinner. It felt nice.

As they rode back she had to ask him, she wanted to know what this was.

"Kaien?" She asks and the way his name came off her lips felt foreign.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think this is weird? Going out to drink with one of your students and spending a lot of time with me even after tutoring me?"

There was a silence for a moment before he spoke truthfully.

"At first I was skeptical but we are both adults and what we decide to do shouldn't have to matter with imagine or what people think. That means yes I enjoy your company and I do like you."

(Your Name) blushed a bit, he admit to like spending time with her and hinted he didn't wanna stop either.

"How'd you know I like you?"

He smirks and shakes his head before pulling into the garage. "Word spreads fast around my students apparently."

Turning off his car Kaien walked her into her car so she would get home safely.

"(Your Name) if it's out of your comfort zone we could always try after you graduate." He seriously says to her leaning into her window as she gulped to how close he was to her.

"No I don't feel uncomfortable, I just didn't think this would actually be happening."

"Expect the unexpected." He says as she chuckles to how corny that was. "It can be our little secret for a while." Kaien adds with a toothy grin and she smiles.

"Yeah, our little secret for a while."

(Author Note: idk why I feel like I could make this one shot better but then it would turn to a whole story)

[a-bts-world]

Chapter I

Mariposa was at her dorm when Jaemin called her. Four days ago he told her about his life and what he does for a living, they haven’t talked since. Which is pretty rare, because normally they talk to each other every day. So it has been pretty hard on Mariposa, together with an exam coming up next week she has been getting way to little sleep and getting more stressed every day.  So when Jaemin calls her, she is excited to talk to him again. Almost forgetting what happened a few days back. ‘Hey!’ she answers with a smile on her face, getting ready to leave the dorm to go to her morning class.

‘Hello, how are you? Are you on your way to class?’ Jaemin asks her through the phone. Mariposa tells him she is indeed getting ready to leave. ‘Well I have something to ask before you leave. You know about what I told you four days ago? I don’t know the answers to everything I asked you. However, that doesn’t matter because the other girls want to get to know you better and they have some kind of stupid group meeting they want you to join. So what I am asking is, if you are willing to meet my brothers and their girlfriends after class?’ Jaemin rambles on without pausing, which ends up in him being completely out of breath for a minute. Which gives Mariposa time to think about his question.

‘Well, I guess meeting them isn’t that bad. I mean you always spoke very highly about them, so it can’t be horrible. However, this doesn’t mean that I know the answer to your question from before,’ Mariposa answers her boyfriend’s question. Four days ago he told her about his life, turns out he is part of the a mafia group called Neocity or NCT for short. He also asked her a few questions regarding their relationship. Four days ago Marisposa could only answer one of those questions, but now she can answer a few more, but still not all of them.

‘So now that you know what I do, do you still want to be my girlfriend?’ Jaemin asks looking at the floor, after telling his story. This was the one question Mariposa knew she could answer, so she did. She gave Jaemin a kiss on his cheek and then nodded. He was always so attentive to her, asking her opinion on all most everything. It seems weird that Jaemin of all people is part of the mafia. ‘I also have a few other questions regarding all this. Like how much do you want to be involved? Do you wanne move into the base or do you want to stay at your own dorm? What about self-defense, do you know anything about that? Are you aware of all the risks this bring along? Is there anything else you want to know about this all?’

Mariposa couldn’t answer all of his questions. ‘I don’t know the answer of any of this yet. Can I get some time to let it all sink in and answer you after a while? There is one thing I do know for sure and that is that I like you very much Jaemin. So I still want you to be my boyfriend.’ She tries to ease Jaemin his mind. While at the same time, her mind is running hundred miles an hour trying to process everything.

‘I understand, no problem. I am happy you are even willing to meet everyone. Thank you so much Mari, see you in class!’ Jaemin happily answers her and then hangs up the phone. On the other side of Seoul Mariposa crosses the street and arrives at campus. There are about ten minutes left before class, so Mariposa decides to get a coffee before heading to class. In line for coffee she sees her friends, Serenity and Precious.

‘Hey Mari! You are on time for once. Do you want a coffee as well, I am paying?’ Serenity questions her as she saw Mariposa first. Precious just waves and then makes a gesture to Mariposa to get closer.

‘A coffee sounds like a great idea Ser, thanks for paying. You are the best,’ Mariposa answers and hugs her friends as a greeting. After hugging it is time to order. So the three girls order their own drink and then Serenity pays for the drinks. After paying there are only 3 minutes left before class, so the girls need to hurry to be on time. Luckily the lecture hall isn’t far away, so they arrive just in time. Out of breath the three of them sit down somewhere in the middle of the room. Then the teacher comes into the room and closes the door, a sign that the lecture has started. After two hours the door opens again and the girls are able to leave for another drink and a little snack.

When Mariposa leaves the lecture hall she is greeted by Jaemin holding a drink and a plastic bag with lunch. ‘Hey Mari, do maybe want to join me for lunch?’ Jaemin asks his girlfriend with a smile on his face. Mariposa nods and waves goodbye to her friends. The moment Mariposa nods her head Jaemin’s smile gets even bigger if that is possible. He hands her the drink and grabs her other hand with his now free hand. They walk towards the courtyard while holding hands and catching up with each other. It almost feels like the conversation from four days ago didn’t happen. Which makes Jaemin hopeful, maybe she indeed doesn’t care about what he does.

‘So who am I going to meet after class?’ Mariposa curiously asks Jaemin as they sit down on a bench. Before Jaemin answers he places the plastic bag with the lunch in between them on the bench. He gets the two lunch packages and hands one to Mariposa.

‘Well, since you are coming after class you will meet most of the older boys who don’t have university or college to attend, but just before dinner you will have met all my brothers. And during dinner you will meet all the important girls in the house. However, I got to warn you. Today is girls dinner or something stupid, so we aren’t allowed to eat dinner with you all. They want you to join them for girls dinner, but you aren’t obliged to. If you don’t want to, you can just eat dinner with me.’ Jaemin explains while Mariposa quietly eats her food listening to the information that is being told.

‘Okay, but can I get to know more about what you do and how everything works?’ Mariposa asks before she realizes and quickly places her hand over her mouth. ‘I wasn’t planning on asking that, it just happened,’ she apologizes.

Jaemin just shakes his head with a smile on his face. She has always been someone who acted before she thought about the consequences. ‘I will tell you everything you want to know, the moment we enter the house. However, for somethings I need to know the answer to a few of the questions I asked four days ago. But if you don’t know the answer yet, I will wait. I will tell you everything I can.’

‘Thanks Jae,’ Mariposa answers with her mouthful of food. Jaemin laughs at her cheeks who look like they are going to burst open. Then he notices a bit of the food left on her lips, so his hand moves towards Mariposa her lips and he brushes off the food.

‘Hi lovebirds! it’s time to go to class,’ Serenity shouts to the two as she walks towards them.

Class just ended and Jaemin and Mariposa are leaving. When they arrive at the parking lot a car honks at them and Jaemin waves towards the car, then almost skipping to it instead of walking. He is very excited for Mariposa to meet his family, even though she doesn’t seem to appreciate his job. ‘Hey Jeamin! How are you?’ the man behind the steering wheel asks while ruffling through Jaemin’s hair.

‘I am good, Mari decide to join us tonight. Which I am grateful for,’ Jaemin answers the question and then looks at Mariposa who watches the scene unfold from a distance. Jaemin walks over to her and grabs her hand. ‘I know it is scary to meet them, but Kun is driving and he is our medic, meaning he doesn’t hurt people. So will you please get in the car with me?’ Jaemin asks her, he sees her doubt so he decided to add his puppy eyes into the game and that is all what is needed to win Mariposa over. So she slightly nods and Jaemin grabs her hand pulling her towards the car. ‘Kun, this is Mariposa. Mari, this is Kun. Now can we get the others please?’ Jaemin asks while getting inside the car with Mariposa shyly sitting down next to him.

‘Hey Mariposa, I am Kun, how are you? How was class?’ Kun asks trying to put the girl at ease. However, Mariposa doesn’t answer, Jaemin does.

‘Class was so boring, I knew everything already.’

‘Really Jaemin? Well did you learn something new Mariposa, or was it boring for you aswell?’ Kun then again asks her a question trying to put her at ease. Kun drives away when he notices Jaemin wants to answer for her again. After driving for half an hour, picking up 2 other boys. The five of them are back at what Jaemin calls home. The moment Kun takes the keys out of the car, the other two boys run inside. ‘Please know that if you ever need something you can always come to me,’ Kun tells Mariposa seriously and then looks at Jaemin. ‘I will tell Taeyong about this, but you have to face Mark yourself.’ Is all he says before he leaves.

‘Okay, so just to prepare you I think around 11 of my brothers are home right now, however at the end of the day we will be with 22. So if you don’t want to do this, we can still go back,’ Jaemin tells her and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. Mariposa just answers that she wants to do this, hoping she will get answers to the questions. ‘Okay, then let’s go inside.’ Jaemin says and opens the car door and walks towards the front door. When he opens the front door another man is waiting on the other side, not looking all to happy.

‘Jaemin.’

‘Mark! I know, I am sorry. Please just let me explain,’ Jaemin pleads as he hopes that he won’t be punished for bringing in someone unannounced. Mark only shakes his head and walks up the big staircase to your right. ‘okay baby, I have to go. You can find Kun in the kitchen, he will explain everything to you,’ Jaemin then tells Mariposa, kisses her forehead and the sprints away, following the other man named Mark. However, what he forgot to tell Mariposa, was where the kitchen exactly was.

So Mariposa walked further into the big hallway, expecting the kitchen to be on the first floor she doesn’t walk up the big staircase. On her left an archway leads to something that looks like the living room, but is occupied with four big sofas. Mariposa notices that it isn’t the kitchen, so she continues her way to the back of the house. There are two doors to her right, both of them have a name on them so once again probably not the kitchen. As Mariposa reaches the end of the hallway there is another door on her left. With nothing on it, she doesn’t know what it is so she opens it. She found the kitchen, but she didn’t find Kun, she found two other man.

‘hello?’ the man with brown hair asked. While the other man with black hair looked at her with question.

‘Hey, I am looking for Kun? Jae said he would be in the kitchen,’ Mariposa shyly explained and the man with black hair nodded his head, like he now understanded the question. However the brown haired man didn’t, he asked Mariposa which Jae told her that. ‘You have multiple people named Jaemin?’ she asked in disbelieve and both men started laughing.

‘no honey, we have a Jaehyun and a Jaemin, so we didn’t understand who you were. But we know now, I am Johnny and this is Doyoung. Kun however is still in Taeyong’s office. So why were you looking for him?’ the man with brown hair that introduced himself as Johnny answered, while the other man, Doyoung was still laughing.

‘Kun was supposed to tell me everything about what is going on. Well, actually Jaemin was supposed to but he followed some boy named Mark,’ Mariposa answered the question and Johnny suddenly pushed his elbow into Doyoung’s side.

‘dude this is serious,’ he then said to Doyoung and looked back at Mariposa. ‘Okay, Well I don’t know what you already now. But I will answer all the questions you have,’ he told and pulled a chair back for Mariposa to sit on. ‘Do you want anything to drink before we start?’ He asks as he walks towards the kitchen counter, but Mariposa shakes her head. ‘Okay, I will start telling you everything from the beginning. Assuming you don’t know anything. If you have any question or you already know something please let me know,’ Johnny let’s her know while making a coffee. Mariposa only nods, being a bit intimidated by the tall man. Doyoung sits down on the other side of the table and looks at her reassuringly, trying to calm her down. ‘So we start with who we are. We are a mafia organization by the name of Neocity, but most people know us as NCT. We have different units working on different things. We will start with the Neos, we are the oldest members and we mostly handle the confrontation part about all of this. Then we have the Dreamies, those are our youngest, which Jaemin is a part of. They mostly handle stuff that can be done from a distance, not really coming in contact with the gruesome stuff. We also have Wayv, they handle the Chinese relations. And lastly we have the United unit, which is the unit that change according to mission. Taeyong, our leader picks the members that he thinks fit the job the most.’ Johnny tells Mariposa.

‘Do you have any questions already?’ Doyoung asks as Mariposa stays quiet for a bit.

‘I don’t think so. It is pretty clear what you told me. I’m just curious what does everyone do? Because Jaemin told me Kun was the medic, but that is all I know.’

‘Okay, so since we are with 23 in total, I think it’s best for you if you just learn what everyone does when you meet them. That way you can pair the name and function to a face. So we will start with me. I am Doyoung, I am part of the Neos and I am the gun specialist. Johnny is also part of the Neos, he is a hand to hand combat soldier and he trains any new members,’ Doyoung answers your question and gestures towards Johnny when he talks about him. ‘You have met Kun already, he is the leader of wayv and also the medic of our group. He also cooks most of the dinners, so if you need him look in the kitchen first. Then Jaemin, your boyfriend is part of the Dreamies. He is an undercover agent, like we said the dreamies don’t really do anything too illegal,’ Doyoung continued his story. After this, Johnny asked if she wanted to meet all the others, so they did and Mariposa met everyone who was at the house. Most of the dreamies weren’t home yet, but the Neos and the older Wayv boys were mostly at the base so she got to know around half of the members. After meeting everyone Doyoung and Mariposa went back to the living room there she found Jaemin.

‘Hey, how are you? Everything okay?’ Jaemin asked curiously, but mostly curious about Doyoung and what he was doing with you beside him.

‘I am good, I couldn’t find Kun so Doyoung and Johnny showed me around. It was fun getting to know all your brothers.’

‘Really? That is good to hear. Now do you want to go upstairs and rest a bit?’ Jaemin asked her. Mariposa wanted to argue, but she could feel how tired she was from all the new impressions, so she just nodded. Jaemin also noticed her tiredness and stood up from the couch, putting his arm over her shoulder and walking towards the staircase, so they can go to his room. Arriving at his room, Mariposa sits down on his bed and then falls back on the pillows. The moment she closes her eyes she falls asleep. After her little nap Mariposa is ready to meet the other boys and most definitely ready for dinner.

 ‘Hey, you are awake!’ Jaemin excitedly says as he notice his girlfriend waking up. ‘ready for dinner with the girls?’ He then asks pointing to the clock in his room.

‘I slept for so long? You were supposed to wake me up Jae,’ She mumbles disappointed. Jaemin then explains to her that the other boys didn’t mind that they haven’t met you yet. They understood it must have been pretty tiring for you. However they do hope to meet Mariposa later tonight. They are all very excited to welcome someone new. ‘Okay, then it is all good. I am ready to have dinner with the girls. However I have no idea how I can get back to the kitchen,’ Mariposa smiles at Jaemin while getting up and combing her fingers through her hair. With a quick look in the mirror she notices her make-up isn’t too messed up from sleeping. So she doesn’t feel the need to touch up her make-up.

‘I already thought about that, I am allowed to bring you to the kitchen, but after that I have to leave because it’s girls night as they say. So if you need me, you can text me,’ Jaemin explains and opens the door of his room. Mariposa stand up, adjusts her clothes and grabs his hand. They intertwine their fingers while Jaemin explains how the house is layed out and walk towards the kitchen. There is the ground level, there is the kitchen, living room, dining room, library and Taeyong and Taeil their rooms. Also the meeting room can be found on the ground level. First level is for the younger members, which means Lucas and everyone younger than him sleep on this level, that is also where Jaemin’s room is. The second level of the house is for the older members, so everyone above Yukhei, with exception of Kun he lives with his girlfriend most of the time. Mariposa tries to remember it all, but when they arrive in front of the kitchen door she knows that she didn’t remember anything. However, there is no time for that now. ‘Have fun, they are really nice,’ Jaemin encourages her and gives Mariposa a quick peck on the lips. ‘I love you Mari, see you in a bit.’

Mariposa nervously opens the door. ‘hi?’ she asks quietly while opening the door, not knowing who she will meet. Once she fully opened the door and let her eyes scan the room, she notices 5 girls in the room. 2 of them are making the dinner, while another one is getting a drink and the other two are sitting at the table, waiting for the food to be done. For a moment it looks like all five of the girls are frozen in time.

‘Hi! I am Sun,’ says one of the dark haired girls who is cooking dinner. ‘You must be Mariposa? How are you?’ Sun asks as she steers in the pan a bit more. Mariposa answers, telling her she is good only a bit nervous. ‘Oh! No problem, we were all nervous at first as well. Now let me introduce the other girls to you. This is Honey, she is Taeil’s wife,’ Sun explains while pointing towards the short girl who is the other half of the duo that was making dinner. ‘Daisy, Jaehyun’s best friend and Jewel, Ten’s girlfriend. And last but not least, Baby! Our best hacker and also Yangyang’s girlfriend.’ With every introduction Sun pointed towards one of the other girls in the room. Mariposa is mentally taking notes. Honey is the short one, Daisy is the darker skinned best friend and Baby is the girl looking the same age as Mariposa, but she has purple hair. Jewel is the taller girl, with an nose piercing and short hair. Sun is the older female with blonde hair.

‘Dinner is ready! Now let’s go eat,’ Honey screams excitedly and puts the pans on the table, while everyone takes a seat. It’s time to eat.

a/n: here we go! I’m so nervous posting this! hope you guys like it! please let me know how you feel about it. Hopefully I get my motivation and inspiration back by posting this. Please also note that I will try to post atleat once a week, but I am not sure if this is even possible, so please be patient.

taglist: @yutahoes @bvbyxuxi​