#3E-Deliberate

[talenlee]

3e: Winners and Losers In Lawful Space

Planescape is a silly place.

Dungeons & Dragons is a wholeheartedly silly game, and it’s important to remember that what makes it silly is an expansive growth out of a particular root. It is a tree of many branches but thanks to the way that it encourages people to build their own things on top of it, it has become a sprawling kind of folk narrative and generally accepted consensus material that then a company comes along and tries to augment and supplement. Still, as much as a corporate mind is at the head of what gets published, what gets handed to that corporation is going to derive from the mind of a dork who likes D&D. To that end, D&D’s lore is a constant push-pull between the kinds of nerds who like organising lists and the kind of nerds who like to invent new types of dragons they want to have sex with and they’re all trying to integrate one another’s material because that’s how nerds demonstrate mastery over a topic.

The result is that D&D lore is composed of parts that neatly and smoothly fit together and parts that should be airbrushed on the side of a van, and all subjects exist in a space between those two points, on a spectrum. And nowhere is this more evident than in the way that 2e’s setting Planescape introduced elements that 3rd edition tried to hide.

Planescape, as a setting, exists very close to the ‘airbrushed on a Van’ side of things, and it’s extremely obvious when you look at its roots in 2nd Edition. In this space, much of what makes Planescape Planescape was codified. For those of you unfamiliar, Planescape is a setting made up of the idea of ‘planes’ as distinct, discrete universes with their own rules separated not by time and space, but just by barriers or magical boundaries. You know how Narnia is supposed to work, with the wardrobe? It’s like that, but there are a lot more wardrobes and they all go to different places. Think a sort of multi-level Isekai scheme.

Anyway, it’s a setting with like, multiple whole universe-sized worlds, that may or may not have planets inside them, some of which follow a very narrow set of identifying rules, like the elemental plane of Fire, which is full of Fire, or are just like ‘here, but a bit weird,’ like Bitopia, which is a whole plane that is mirrored vertically at a certain height. If you look up in Bitopia, you see another whole country up there – that’s why it’s called that. Also everyone there is bisexual.

Planescape sought to build out more of that structured universe and then in each structured space, fill it with interesting notions. But the structure is a little odd, in that it’s hard to make an infinite number of chairs organise neatly, someone is always putting out one more where they shouldn’t. That means there are tidy diagrams of the Planar cosmology, and then you look inside any of the bubbles in that diagram and find it’s full of gibberish.

It was in 2e that, as far as I know, we were introduced world-wise, to the characters of the Modrons.

There’s a whole writing form that involves referring to Modrons in deliberately obtuse ways, with Modrons being the individual, plural, categorical, and utility terms for this people, but what you need to know about them is that Modrons are weird lil guys that are made out of a basic geometric shape – pyramid, cube, dodecahedron, all the way up to sphere (or down to sphere, depending on who you ask). They are truly perfect Lil Guys, a byproduct of a plane of true law and order which doesn’t in any way cohere to what humans (the people playing the game) necessarily assume about law.

They make a lot of sense in a storybook kind of way where you don’t need to have big answers for what they are or how they work or even how their philosophical bias towards pure lawfulness works. In the world of 2ed, where sometimes things that sound like they should be well explained, clear rules are kinda yada-yada-yada’d in a space that you might imagine is flavour text, the Modrons left a bunch of questions unanswered and seemingly, that was good. It was good that they were heavily ambiguous because what was the life cycle of ‘an orb?’ Any answer made them less mysterious and pushed them away from the oddness that they represented.

Anyway, 3e was an attempt by a serious company to do serious things and that’s why when they went back to talk about the Creatures That Lived In The Lawful Planes, they came up with the Inevitables.

Inevitables are the demons of small minds, writ large. Literally, the point of an Inevitable is to be a Lawful Neutral version of a Demon, an entity that exists purely based on rules, coalesced out of a world made of rules, and with nothing holding them back from expressing that. Each of the Inevitables is meant to respond to a rule in the universe and then enforce it. They are self-appointed near-immortal construct cops, and they’re meant to oppose things and people that break the rules that they, specifically, are meant to care about.

These rules are completely out of whack, though, because one of them is meant to enforce say, justice, another the inevitability of death and another, the way the desert is a fixed ecosystem that nobody should try and change or interact with. And in that case, there are a bunch of plants that the Inevitables are going to have issues with, that don’t seem to be capable of forming complex political allegiances.

There’s a really interesting distinction between Inevitables and Modrons, to me. Modrons are weird and interesting but also, there’s nothing they can do that answers a question. Inevitables are a fun challenge that’s supposed to be present to oppose players or potentially be recruited into an adventure, but not for too long. But Inevitables, the 3e attempt to populate Lawful Planes with A Kind of Guy, sort of fell apart and are now more of a trivia question while Modrons have endured into 4th and 5th edition.

I don’t think there’s some greater, better reason for it or anything. I don’t think that Inevitables failed because they were Bad Design or something. But I do think that for me, the way that Modrons represented Weirdness was much more interesting than the ways the Inevitables sucked weirdness away with their simple, clear consideration of certain things as being part of natural reality.

After all: Inevitables would hunt down people who extended their lifespans because ‘everyone must die.’ But Inevitables were immortal. That’s a pretty interesting thing to juxtapose and maybe a character could struggle with that.

Or maybe they could make a big speaking trumpet and demand that everyone else refer to them as a Spokesmodron which is, in my opinion, much funnier.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[samueldays]

Retrospective: D&D 3e class feature advancement and design

Of the editions of D&D that I've played, I think Third Edition is my favorite. It's imbalanced, sure, but part of what differentiates D&D from videogames is that there's a DM on hand to say "let's change that". Much of the general success of 3rd was probably due to the Open Gaming License that you may recall a recent fuss about, and two specific impacts of the OGL were 1) explosion of fan content to add on and change stuff, 2) fanmade polish of the System Reference Document (SRD), such as this hyperlinked and crosslinked version where just about everything is accessible in one click. Much less searching for rules!

I also personally liked it for the unusual way it tried hard to put player characters and monsters in the same mechanical framework using the same scale, unlike far too many games, video or tabletop, where the PC has 138 HP but does 9999 damage. (This was to some extent present in earlier editions, but 2e's Monstrous Manual fails to give a creature's Strength score, only specifying its damage directly.) D&D in general was unusually fair and honest about letting you loot Lord Mega-Evil's Mega-Sword instead of doing "2% drop chance" shenanigans. 3e went a step further to making the bugbear playable out of the box, if you wanted to play a bugbear. Bugbears were now real creatures in a sense, not simply bags of HP you popped for XP.

If you're waiting for me to get to the subject announced in the title, just keep waiting, this is a twenty year old game and I'm a grognard with a pet topic. ;-)

4th edition decided to strip much of this stuff back out again, and I detested it. 4e was super weird. 5e tentatively tried to be the simplified best bits of 1e and 3e (IMO) which is nice for the newbies, but I feel its class system still leaves much to be desired. The whole notion of "classes" in a RPG is a bit of a necessary evil. It doesn't exist in-universe, it's an abstraction because doing full pointbuy is more tiresome for players and far easier to accidentally break the system by neglecting one stat or pushing another too high. At the same time, you don't want to lock characters into a progression at level 1, so designers tend to re-invent various class options and class choices that veer back towards pointbuy, and multiclassing...

Bluntly: The "favored class" rules and multiclassing xp penalties in 3rd were failures. The hypothesis was that it would discourage "5 levels of this, 1 of this, remaining levels of this" cherry-picking and encourage keeping 2-3 classes balanced, with an exception for the favored class. What it actually encouraged was "5 levels of this, 1 level of this prestige class, remaining levels of this prestige class" because prestige classes (PrCs) were exempt. Removing that exemption would have had worse second-order effects because prestige classes had different numbers of levels and conditional advancement permission! A deeper overhaul was needed, but didn't appear. My groups usually ended up ignoring multiclassing xp penalties. Worthless rule, no content, no value. Especially the bit where it's possible to get stuck at -100% XP if you made deliberately bad choices, that's nonsense.

What was also a failure, but less so, and produced the content I want to ramble about today, is how the class system incentivized multiclassing in very different ways for different classes. I'm going to gloss over questions of obscure splatbook availability and optimization level here; if you know enough to have an opinion on them you probably don't need to be reading this.

-

Fighter: Multiclass out or prestige class ASAP. This because Fighters have no class features that scale specifically with Fighter level - feats, BAB and HP can be gotten anywhere, and stack cleanly from different classes. Fighter 4 / Barb 1 / PrestigeClassA 5 / PrestigeClassB 10 is an example outcome of starting from "Fighter" and keeping the concept without being bound to the classname.

Sorcerer: Prestige out, but only to +1 caster level classes. Sorcerers have 1 scaling class feature, "spellcasting", which is advanced as a whole by several prestige classes. Something like Sorc10 / Loremaster 10 is cool, gets you 20th level casting, and more class features.

Druid: Stay pure. Druids have multiple scaling class features, and very few prestige classes advance other than spellcasting.

(I reiterate: this is what the class system incentivized. Not what you 'should' play.)

-

This difference was not a matter of party role, but of class feature wording.

Broadly speaking, there's two kinds of class features in 3rd Edition: those that provide a static ability at a fixed level (for example, Paladins become immune to fear at 3rd level) and those that have a progression scaling with each level (for example, Paladins can Smite Evil to add their level to the damage done).

Fighters got almost entirely static abilities, and those with diminishing returns. Spellcasting was almost entirely scaling.

Paladins were closer to the Druid end of the scale due to Smite Evil and Lay on Hands saying "paladin level" (not caster level, nor character level) when calculating what to scale with. A few prestige classes explicitly advanced these features, but there was no standard framework for advancing them the way the Thaumaturgist prestige class had "+1 level of existing spellcasting class" for any of druids, clerics, wizards or sorcerers.

Theoretically, the Thaumaturgist or Mystic Theurge prestige classes also worked for other spellcasting classes such as Paladin, but this was mostly worthless because paladins were tertiary casters who got slower per-level spellcasting progression. +1 level of spellcasting had lower value for paladins or bards than it did for clerics or wizards. This was aggravated by partial progression classes such as Eldritch Knight, which provided less spellcasting advancement - measured in terms of fewer levels. They got community shorthand like 9/10 or 7/10 casting progression.

An intuitive-seeming fix haunted me for years: PrCs that give partial advancement to full casters should give full advancement to partial casters. Perhaps even more than one-for-one when advancing tertiary casters. But it was hard to spell out in rules.

Instead, WotC printed special case ugly hack PrCs like the Sublime Chord, which was blatantly "The Bard Prestige Class For Bards" that gave faster-than-bard spellcasting progression up to 9th level bard spells. (In the core game, wizards get up to 9th level spells, but bards stop at 6th level.) It worked by specifying in detail a new separate spellcasting progression meant to be used at each level from 11 to 20, after using the regular bard progression from level 1 to 10.

Ironically, this special case could then fit back into the standard framework: take 10 Bard levels, take 1 Sublime Chord prestige level, now Sublime Chord has its own spellcasting progression so it can be advanced by other prestige classes such as Loremaster or Thaumaturgist. Sublime Chord was a prestige class that bards took mostly for the spellcasting, and then they didn't need to stay in that class for the spellcasting, because spellcasting was a standard class feature that could be advanced in other ways.

What a mess.

-

Still, I gotta give Wizards credit for being willing to fuck around and try new stuff to get out of this mess they'd made.

During 3rd edition, some of their later pile-ons to this mess were the Truenaming magic system that worked based on a skill check instead of levels (this was swiftly exploited because Make Single Number Go Up is easy for nerds with a wide variety of options), the Shadowcasting magic system that got to retroactively convert the class levels of a wizard who multiclassed into shadowcaster (I never saw this used in practice), and the Initiating not-a-magic system in the Tome of Battle:

Instead of caster levels you had initiator levels, and instead of casting a spell you initiate a martial maneuver, and the maneuver involved swinging your sword around so expertly that it shot fireballs or healed your friends or added an extra 8d8 damage or froze the enemy's lifeblood with the Five-Shadow Creeping Ice Enervation Strike. It also let you resist poison or block mind control by concentrating really hard on how you are a mall ninja One with the Blade.

(image: a Blade Magic user who has convinced the DM that hitting people with your bare hands counts as a 'blade' if you call it Knife-Hand Strike.)

It was actually pretty good, once you got past the flowery names, the weeaboo aesthetic shift, the increased complexity, the dissociated mechanics, and the fact that Wizards printed three initiator subsystem classes that were different enough to be annoying. Now that I'm done damning it with faint praise: you calculate multiclass initiator level by taking your main initiator class's class level and adding half the levels in other classes, whether or not they are initiator classes. A Swordsage 6/Fighter 6 character counts as Swordsage 9 for purposes of the Swordsage's primary class feature: initiator level and martial maneuvers.

This sort of worked to encourage a moderate amount of multiclassing on occasion by reducing the cost, but not really, because of nonlinear scaling. The low-level Swordsage abilities are on the order of "Fighter but with 1d6+1 fire damage". The high-level Swordsage abilities are like "Enemy has to make a Fortitude save or die. On a successful save, enemy still takes 20d6 extra damage on top of your regular damage" and "Quasi-timestop: you get 10 opportunities in a row to pick up a nearby enemy and throw him. Your choice whether you want to throw 10 guys off a cliff, or bounce 1 guy against the wall until he dies."

This class feature progression was cribbed from the core spellcasting system for Sorcerers and Druids, see above for the multiclass incentives on those.

-

I don't have a general solution. Here is my sketch of a fix to the spellcasting part, also usable with the cribbed-from-spellcasting class features like initiator progression:

Build a spellcasting progression separately from a class. Each progression goes up to 9th level spells at character level 20, or the system equivalent. The "Wizard" class then gets a class feature which says something like "+1 spellcasting progression at each level". The "Bard" class gets a class feature which says something like "+0.75 spellcasting progression at each level". The Paladin class get a class feature which says something like "+0.4 spellcasting progression at each level". Round up or down with minima to taste.

This replicates the effect of the 3e progression where the Wizard got up to 9th level spells, the Bard got 6th and the Paladin stopped at merely 4th.

But by separating the spellcasting progression, all these base classes get the same amount of benefit from a Prestige Class which provides +X spellcasting progression per level (X probably 0.5-1). In regular 3e, spellcasting progression classes were worth far more to the wizard than to the paladin, because the paladin got 1/20th of a step towards 4th level spells and the wizard got 1/20th of a step towards 9th level spells.

This eliminates the weird special case that is the Sublime Chord, also eliminates certain other kinds of dumb cheese around Ur-Priest, creates space for semi-focused casting prestige classes that provide 0.9 spellcasting that's an improvement for bards but a slowdown for wizards, and makes it easier for Fighter-adjacent and Rogue-adjacent classes and prestige classes like Assassin to dabble in a little bit of spellcasting at a controlled rate. In weird design space, it allows backloading on a class that goes from +0.5 to +1.5 over the course of several levels to "catch up".

A downside is that this "fractional casting" is more granular, more bookkeeping, and closer to pointbuy, but it's a small step and D&D 3.5 was already including the similar Fractional BAB/Saves in optional rules. Maybe someone can be inspired by this to make something easier.

-

Now I would like to say that D&D Third Edition has come and gone and will probably never be repeated, having been supplanted by two later editions twenty years on, especially 3.5e with all its baroque customization, but that would be a lie because not only did it spawn a great many clones, Pathfinder is out there being a big name 3.5e clone with just enough tweaks to not be a copyright infringement. (Also: just enough tweaks to not quite be backwards compatible.) So I feel I should try to give helpful advice for design of class-based RPG systems, rather than just this historical overview so far. Here's my big suggestion:

Figure out how a class offers value, and why I should keep taking it.

The D&D 3e Fighter fails this test. You should multiclass out. Full BAB, d10 HD, crappy skills, Fortitude save (more chassis than feature) are available elsewhere. Feats (the only real feature) have diminishing returns.

The Pathfinder Fighter still fails this test - it's been given tiny value buffs like the scaling effect of Weapon Training: for every 4 levels get +1 to damage with a weapon group. Meanwhile the wizards are still off getting caster levels that give +1d6 spell damage every single level, and it's easy to get 1 damage every 4 levels from other sources.

Also, the Pathfinder Fighter has been given a Bravery feature: +1 on saves against fear for every 4 levels. Meanwhile the Paladin is still getting outright fear immunity at level 3.

The converse of this suggestion is asking yourself in design: Which of a class's valuable features can I get elsewhere?

For the Fighter it's "all of them", for the Sorcerer it's "all of them, but fewer places" and for the Druid it's complicated but "one-third" is a first approximation.

Extra corollary: "...and if getting those features elsewhere, what am I giving up or getting on the side?"

[bismuthwisdom]

I've just reread the chapter where 3E was jumping on the roofs and injured the old man, getting punished by korosensei.

And the punishment, or at least the way it was presented ... was not as justified as it seemed to be. Sure, they did get carried away and they were genuinely sorry, but the fact that they got slapped by Korosensei was just too much, even for his standards.

And you would expect only the ones participating would get some sort of punishment, but NO, EVERYONE has to help out (which isnt bad but still, they would sacrifice the learning time anyway) AND get slapped later.

Also, them being compared to the main campus in terms of superiority bc of this is just so wrong. Its not like they deliberately went out to harm people.

I think from this chapter onwards I remember starting to hate Korosensei a bit bc of this.

[fumiko-matsubara]

Very self indulgent warm-up portraits of adult Chiba because the timeskip completely screwed him over and he deserves so much better.

An updated timeline

Like I said before, Chiba changed his hairstyle in high school because his bang-covered face was all over news media and he does NOT want to be recognized on the streets and get mobbed by aggressive journalists.

He cut it quite short at the start of the school year for the sake of people not putting two and two together.

He didn't mind the shorter bangs, parted or brushed down, but the significant lack of length at the back was bothering him. So he just allowed this hair to grow out over time. It settled to a wolfcut sorta and he maintained that length for a while, even by the time the former Class 3E students had gathered for their graduation trip.

Now. The blonde hair.

Chiba had no choice but to lose a bit of length when he made that very impulsive decision because his hair was surprisingly difficult to lift, and it took about 3-4 rounds of bleach to get that light shade of blonde.

And he ended up liking it too much.

So with the great sacrifice of his scalp and the once healthy texture of his hair, Chiba went to live the blond bitch life in college for a couple of years, down with his natural resting bitch face, that his mother would've gotten a heart-attack when he went back to visit if he hadn't told her beforehand 😭

In his final year of university, he was more or less forced to dye his hair back to its natural colour since his scalp isn't abnormally strong like Nakamura's and it desperately NEEDS resting.

Now, as for the band. All members of D.R.E.A.M. had been long planning to attend the same high school ever since Ayaka graduated and went to Kawadate. They wanted to keep the band going for as long as they all can, as it is more of a passion project than a side hobby. It had impacted each of their lives for the better and they wanted it to last.

The band had been the first time Chiba felt that there was a place for someone like him ever since he began hiding himself, and it served as the catalyst for his ongoing journey to gain back the confidence he had once lost.

Anyways. From hopping between shows, releasing music, selling CDs, and posting videos online - they had earned quite a lot throughout the years despite being an independent band, that even if the profit was evenly split between the members, none of them would have anything to worry about when unemployed for a while.

And that's when we have the graduation album!!

...where Chiba was yet again rejected from his job interview even though this particular company was quite low on employees. He had a feeling that it was always because of his face since the person interviewing him refuses to make eye contact, and that pisses him off. Talk about discrimination.

Thankfully, the always busy Hayami was free this time. It had been a while since they last saw each other and he really just wanted someone to rant to.

And he needed a favour.

Fast forward, you have Chiba deliberately stealing all the clients from the companies that rejected him because he's petty 😂

[mornyavie]

Man @my-smial I don't want to make that post any longer for the sake of OP's notes and our dashboards but the priorities of the 5E DMG are genuinely so baffling to me.

It's like they think the purpose of the DMG is not to, y'know, G the DM, but rather to provide enough tables that you can randomly generate an entire campaign.

except magic items those are too important for random gen.

Like here is the "magic item prices" table:

Doesn't even provide a randomness method (though there is a bit on this in the "selling magic items" section, which is under "downtime").

And here is the table for randomly generating the tactics used by a campaign villain:

(in case the prospect of making literally any decisions about the main feature of your campaign is scary, there's also tables for their motivation, identity, possible weakness, etc.)

There's 4 different d100 tables for determining various quirks of a major artifact in case you include one in your campaign, but virtually no information on... why and how you would do that.

Relatedly, here's the example dungeon map they provide:

If you look carefully, you'll notice that there's.... there's no key.

Even "Appendix C: Maps" doesn't contain a single example of a keyed map. Nowhere in the DMG do they mention "hey you can keep track of dungeon rooms by numbering them."

I don't know if this is a deliberate choice? A really wierd oversight? An example of the "experts in anything etc etc" principle?

Meanwhile, here's the equivalent example from the 3E DMG (3.0, specifically):

It's a fully keyed map, and the accompanying example of play instructs you on how to use map keys, descriptions, common abbreviations like boxed text and stat blocks, etc... as well as literally transcribing what a group playing this dungeon might sound like as they go through a few of the rooms.

The 3E DMG really emphasizes running dungeons over any other aspect of play, but at least it... shows you how to do that. The 5E DMG seems to assume that you've already learned to GM from somewhere else. It gives you lots of tools for building an adventure, but almost nothing on running one.

Several people in the notes of that post have mentioned that their advice for learning to DM 5E is to read the 4E DMG! I haven't spent much time with 4E so I can't speak to that specifically.* Nevertheless, I have to agree that the 5E DMG doesn't really feel like a necessary part of the book trio, and I wouldn't really feel like the teaching it does provide is worth the price tag.

*though from my understanding, encounter balancing and understanding the combat roles of various enemy types is one of 4E's strengths, and that's definitely a useful thing for a DM to get explicit advice on.

This doesn't really affect us since we don't play 5E often anyways, but. Rant written.

[tenebris-lux]

When making my cleric Tav, I had trouble picking a deity for him to worship. He was based off an OC I had worked on years ago for DND , and I had never finalized who he’d worship—because I didn’t know if I’d be using him in a premade campaign setting or someone’s homebrew. Never found out because I never ended up joining a group.

I finally decided to use him when I first played Baldur’s Gate 3. I recognized a couple gods from when I flipped through the 3e Player’s Handbook when I was a teenager, but overall I knew nothing about the gods of Faerûn, except for the little blurbs on the character creation screen. From those, I thought Kelemvor would fit my guy best.

Anyways, I’m looking up more info on Kelemvor in the 5e books, and … I knew my Cleric became a heretic, but in a much bigger way than I initially thought.

Clerics of Kelemvor are anti-undead. But to an EXTREME degree, it seems like. Doesn’t matter what kind of undead; even if they’re not malicious, they’ve got to go. So … how the hell did my Kelemvor cleric become a devoted lover of a vampire spawn?? Hell, how’d he not just stake him the first night he saw fangs at his neck?

I can possibly think of some work-arounds as character development, but I have to wonder … in Faerûn, the gods are real. What happens to a cleric when they violate a pretty clear-cut rule on purpose? Repeatedly? As far as I know, they don’t have the Paladin trait where they’re beholden to their Oaths, and forsaking them can have consequences to their abilities. But I find that odd, because Clerics wield divine power. Wouldn’t deliberately thwarting one of their god’s rules have personal consequences like that?

I’d like some input from people who know the lore and how this works. What happens if a cleric blatantly defies/violates their god’s rules? I know in Baldur’s Gate 3, choosing a god was just flavor—hell, the Domain a cleric specializes in doesn’t even have to match the deity in that game, whereas it does in 5e.

[arimabari]

Omgggggg if you make Maybeth fanfiction I will read the shit out of it B L E A S E

omg STOP I didn't think anyone would actually want to read something like that sdkljgsl you're so incredibly sweet thank youu ;w;

I wrote the smallest snippet of a prologue last night so here u go I'll give you this for now and use this message as an incentive to finish it:

26th of Last Seed, 3E 433

The minstrels were playing her favorite song. Again.

Ladies gathered to the dance floor like clucking hens to a corn pile, reaching for golden bells that clicked and chimed with the slightest flick of a hand. Maybeth had half a mind to join them in their mirth, a longing which graced her thoughts for half a second before vanishing entirely. She loathed to give her husband the satisfaction. 

Even now she felt his penetrating gaze upon her, watching, waiting for her to take that first step. Geldall might have hoped that the familiar tune would coax her into dance, that if he commanded his minstrels to play it one more time, her resolve would snap - and finally, finally, she would bend to his will. Some of less cunning wit would view this desperate act as mere concern, a desire to see his wife happy and fulfilled on the day which marked their ninth anniversary.

But like a child who doesn’t get his way, Geldall was throwing a fit - in the most cordial and polite manner possible, perhaps, but a fit it was nevertheless. Indeed how kind, how doting he was that he should know her favorite song, let alone play it twice for her pleasure! And here she was, deliberately ignoring his affections out of sheer pettiness and spite. Oh woe is Prince Geldall, a good husband scorned. However shall he recover?

“Gods give me strength that I not throttle our prince in public.” Maybeth muttered into her half-empty cup, coaxing yet another bitter taste of wine down her throat. 

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

Korosuu Translation - Chapter Three

Sorry, I know it's been a while. Actually, this chapter was super long so I took a very extended break from this entire thing. But I'm back now. If you're new here, this is OFFICIAL content! It's an untranslated (so far) short story, you can find chapters one and two here. I do also need to put out a trigger warning for this one as it involves some voyeurism.

Mirror Time

“Oh right… it seems like there’s a possibility.” Chiba returned to his own desk, and took out his notebook, writing utensils, and a triangle ruler. Chiba started to explain to Hayami, who was stood in front of his desk looking down at his notebook, whilst looking at the diagram. “When you hit the wall with a bullet, it flies out at the same angle as it flies in. Like this.”

[Illustration] A diagram of a sphere bullet ricocheting off a wall. The angle between the bullet and the wall before hitting the wall (incident angle) is the same as the angle between the bullet and the wall when it flies out (reflection angle).

“If you aim without Korosensei noticing, it seems like you can’t do it with a single ricochet.”

At Hayami’s words, Chiba nods whilst writing another line in his notebook. “That’s right. At least twice, but preferably three times or more, but if it ricochets too much the error will increase, and the momentum will drop. We might have to experiment with how many times it’s practical.”

“So, how do you aim for that? I get how to do it once, but I can’t really imagine twice or more.”

[rest will be under the cut, this chapter's long]

Whilst holding his mechanical pencil, Chiba leaned back in the chair and folded his arms. “That’s the problem. For example, in order to hit the target I’ve written here twice, you have to calculate the points that satisfy this diagram.”

[Illustration] An experiment conducted by Chiba to see if it is possible to snipe the target as inferred by the article. By solving the graphic problem as shown in this diagram, it is possible to deduce the point of the wall to aim at in order to hit the target with a bullet.

Whilst he was speaking, Chiba drew a number of right angled triangles on the diagram.

Hayami looked at the diagram and frowned a little. “What’s this? I have to solve this every time?”

“Solving it is necessary,” Chiba replied, and then began to calculate the first position to hit the bullet.

With a sideways glance, Hayami turned to the back of the classroom, where the black metal box usually stood.

“This kind of problem, we could figure it out right away with Ritsu.”

The Autonomous Thinking Fixed Gun Unit AI (classmate) – which is called Ritsu by Class 3E, has been removed since the beginning of the week for maintenance. It’s only for two or three days, but it’s the first time the whole body has been taken out and maintained.

“Even so, I don’t want to rely on her.” Chiba checked the problem he had solved many times, took out the airsoft pistol from his bag, and then stood up. “This is an assassination to see how much I can do as a sniper. I feel like I have to think for myself.”

“Huh? Well, I don’t know.”

“So, Hayami, I want you to place the target in the exact location shown in this diagram.”

Chiba said it simply, but actually aiming was quite troublesome. After accurately measuring the distance with a measuring tape brought from the store room and positioning it, a desk is placed there and a yellow balloon that looks like Koro Sensei is attached.

[Illustration] How to ricochet to a Korosensei balloon…

Chiba had to determine his own standing position and the point at which the bullet would hit first.

“This is bad, can you call move to the window?” After all the work was done, Chiba called out to his friends in the classroom.

With faces full of interest, everyone moves towards the window as they were told, and Chiba squeezes the pistol’s trigger in the direction of the X mark that’s written in chalk on the blackboard. The bullet that was fired hit the blackboard and ricocheted off with a dry sound, then rebounded off the wall on the corridor side, before it headed for the target in the back of the classroom.

The first shot was more than a meter off. The second one was about 30cm. The third and forth shots also missed but not as badly as the first one, and the fifth one hit.

“You did it!”

The classmates who were watching cheered as the balloon broke with a banging sound. But, Chiba’s facial expression didn’t match the mood.

“What’s wrong? Is it that you can get more accuracy if you aim a rifle from a vantage sniping position?”

In response to Hayami’s words, Chiba shook his head. “No, that’s not the case. I knew I could do it this way, but… the problem is that,” Chiba pointed to the blackboard, “it takes too much time to figure out the point with the current method. Actually, there’s also height differences, so we have to do the same calculation in the vertical direction.”

[Illustration] In reality it’s necessary for the sniper to consider height differences. In the case that the sniper and the target are different heights, the ricochet snipe will follow such a trajectory.

[Plain view] A view of the room looking down from above.

[Elevated view] A sideways view. A three dimensional route that seems complicated can be simplified in this way by breaking it down into a plain view and an elevated view.

Takebayashi, who was listening, sighed. “Isn’t it double the work? Isn’t that even more unrealistic?”

“What if you do the calculation first, then everyone can guide Korosensei?” Nakamura said.

Chiba shook his head. “There are two problems with that. One is that you can’t guide the target the way you want. Especially when it comes to such a sever shooting like this, even the slightest misalignment isn’t good.”

Hayami nodded. “It’s not easy for Chiba to make such fine adjustments at this range. What’s the other thing?”

“I want to try and do this assassination without anyone’s help. I also said it before but, it’s kind of a stubbornness thing.”

“Is that right?”

Chiba looked down at the notebook on the desk. “The legendary sniper actually serves a number of moving targets. In other words, they’re aiming in the shortest amount of time they can. That’s something like a method we’re unaware of, or I wonder if there’s a special calculation trick.”

When he said that, Chiba was hit on the shoulder, and raised his head.

Okajima is standing there with a grin. “When you said that, I felt like I realised something!” Okajima gave a big thumbs up and a fearless smile as he said so, looking suspicious in front of Chiba and Hayami.

“Come on boys, get out!”

The fifth class of the day was a PE Class. The classroom is occupied by the girls, and the boys are kicked out into the corridor to change clothes.

“Sometimes I want the boys to do it before. B-because I’ll always only just make it.” Shiota Nagisa complains, stood with a rolled up PE uniform under his arm.

“What are you talking about, Nagisa? It’s fine, this our time to face our fated challenge.”

“Okajima kun, don’t you think it’s irresponsible to do this method by trial and error?”

Ignoring Nagisa’s strained smile, Okajima took a small mirror out of his pocket with a strangely calm expression. Additionally, he also took out a selfie stick.

“Hey you, isn’t that what the girls beat the hell out of us for using the other day??”

Whilst Terasaka Ryouma was gazing at him dumbfoundedly, Okajima tore up some adhesive tape into small pieces and started to attach the mirror to the tip of the selfie stick.

“Well, look. It was a mistake to hold it in a position the girls could see. This time, it’ll be perfect.”

“Isn’t this only adding more flaws to a plan full of holes…?” Said Kimura Justice.

“Hehe, look at it,” Okajima extended the selfie stick smoothly, and started to explain with a calm facial expression. “Well, while the girls are changing clothes, the windows on the corridor side are covered with dark curtains. Therefore, you can’t see what’s inside as it is but-“

“No, it seems that the curtains are there to stop us seeing.”

Ignoring whoever’s voice pointed that out, Okajima continues. “By some blessing, there’s just one small gap in the top window due to a slack in the curtain. The other day I was found by holding a mirror directly here, but today I won’t repeat the same mistake.”

“Then what will you do?”

After turning a fearless smile to Terasaka, who was tired of his face, Okajima held his selfie stick over his head.

“A while ago, when Chiba and the others were trying to shoot, I was secretly setting up the mirror in the classroom. I was pinpointed by the story of the ricochet. One mirror will soon be exposed, but many more mirrors are placed so subtly that no matter how vigilant the girls are, they won’t notice they’re being peeped through.”

[Illustration] Okajima’s new voyeur method, which improves on the experience found using mirrors for voyeurism and relays it with multiple mirrors so it will not be noticed. In principle, no matter how many mirrors you use, what you see from here can be seen by the other party.

“Ah-….. I thought that was the case,” Kimura showed a forced smile.

“Maybe this was in the calculation – huh?”

Okajima looked up at the mirror, frowned at him, and moved his selfie stick slightly. “Okay, I saw it!”

Okajima smiled in gratification, did a small triumphant pose, and deliberately took a compact digital camera out of his pocket with his free hand.

“What’s that?” Nagisa pointed a finger with a dumbfounded look on his face.

Okajima answered with a grin. “As you’d expect, I couldn’t bring out a camera. That would be just like talking loudly in the corridor about taking voyeur photos. That’s why I always carry a point-and-shoot with me in case of these situations. Please pay attention to the point that I don’t compromise with a smart phone.”

No one was listening to that, but Okajima completely disregarded the air in the room and released the shutter.

FLASH!

The camera’s strobe flashed and emitted a small sound.

“Oops, I wouldn’t usually make this kind of mistake,” Okajima said as he turned off the strobe and released the shutter again.

“O-KA-JI-MA!”

The door of the classroom opened forcefully, and the girls in their PE uniforms jumped out at once.

“Agh!”

With a well-coordinated move, the girls cut off any way for Okajima to escape. Okajima shouted with a half cracked voice whilst he was being pulled down on the spot and kicked with terrifying dexterity.

“W-why did I get exposed? The plan should have been perfect!”

“We could see the light from your strobe!” Kataoka looked down at Okajima with a dangerous expression on her face.

“That’s forbidden, Okajima kun.”

At the voice, the girls turn around and look over their shoulders. Standing in front of the open door was Koro Sensei holding a steaming paper bag from his open mouth.

“The idea isn’t bad. It’s not bad, but don’t forget that what you can see through the mirror, you can see from the other side as well. Additionally, if you use a camera’s flash, you may as well be saying ‘please notice me!’.”

After putting up with that speech, the girls shouted all at once. “Why do you look so self-important, you shameless teacher!”

“What kind of motive is there for suddenly coming in through the window when we’re changing!” Kataoka glares at Koro Sensei whilst pulling out a knife for the enemy teacher.

“Niyu, nyuya?! It’s a misunderstanding! I’m trying to inform distorted people like Okajima kun!”

“There’s no use in arguing!”

Moving with all their practised skills, the girls simultaneously held their weapons at the ready for their enemy teacher. They attacked a cowering Koro Sensei by firing BB bullets and using their special anti-sensei material knives.

“That’s why it’s a misunderstanding – hya, my shopping bag tore, and the bao buns I bought with great trouble are-“

Koro Sensei broke out into Mach speed and escaped.

Nagisa muttered. “Bao buns… ah, Koro Sensei was in Shanghai today.”

“Gee, what is this?”

In the background, Okajima, who had footprints all over his body, looked at the compact camera monitor and frowned. When Terasaka, who was standing close, looked into it, the photograph was the figure of Koros Sensei with an armful of the bao buns in a paper bag, pulling a peace sign in the direction of the camera.

-End-

The locker room talk really spoke for itself, huh?

[thecreaturecodex]

Nikaal

Image by Thomas Baxa, © TSR, inc.

[The nikaal are one of the creatures that was introduced in the second Dark Sun bestiary, Terrors Beyond Tyr, but didn’t get much development otherwise. They don’t show up in any 3e or 4e product, for example. Which I think is a shame. What little is presented about their society is very interesting, and a species of non-hostile but alien nomads stands out in a setting where almost everyone would kill you for a cup of water. I was on the fence about whether to give them the humanoid or monstrous humanoid type, as they look much more human than, say, a lizardfolk, but have psychic powers and acidic spit.]

Nikaal CR 2 N Monstrous Humanoid This thin humanoid has a man shaped face, but scales, serpentine eyes and an inhuman color. Both hair and crests grow from their head, and their lean limbs end in three thick claws.

The nikaal are desert dwelling nomads and traders with occult powers. They are especially interested in items of psychic significance, for which they will pay handsomely. Nikaal believe that material goods have lives of their own, and honor and respect the things they own and trade. This respect is most clearly seen in their signature polearm, the tkaesali. This polearm is made of a hoop studded with sharpened obsidian or teeth and decorated with runic symbols (treat as a masterwork tepoztopilli). Only those who have earned the right through deeds to their community may carry a tkaesali, and these items have storied histories that are passed down through oral and magical tradition. If a tkaesali is stolen, the entire tribe will stop at nothing to track it down and get it back.

Although they may seem slow and deliberate in both thought and motion, nikaal are by no means stupid or weak. Their psychic powers are most useful in interpersonal relations, so rarely are brought into play in battle. Their skins are tougher than leather, they can withstand fire and typically carry one handed weapons and shields into battle. They almost never wear armor, as covering their whole bodies interferes with their heat balance, and forces them to consume more food and water to survive. Nikaal can spit acid, but rarely use this in combat with other nikaal, seeing doing so as a sign of utter disrespect.

Nikaal live in peripatetic communities united under an elected council. These elected elders are often gifted in magic, and use their powers to determine where and when the nikaal travel. Arcane magic is of less interest to them than either occult or divine—most of their powerful spellcasters are clerics favoring gods of travel and trade, or druids with mastery over the desert, fire or water. There is no division between the sexes, and telling different genders is difficult, if not impossible, for those that are not nikaal.

A nikaal has a lifespan equivalent to that of a dwarf. They are typically covered in fine purple scales, but both cooler blues and warmer reds are possible. Their claws (and bones) are green in color, and faintly luminous in moonlight.

Nikaal                        CR 2 XP 600 N Medium monstrous humanoid Init -1; Senses low-light vision, Perception +7 Defense AC 15, touch 9, flat-footed 15 (-1 Dex, +4 natural, +2 shield) hp 16 (3d10) Fort +1, Ref +2, Will +3; +4 vs. fire effects Defensive Abilities unarmored resistance Offense Speed 20 ft. Melee heavy mace +3 (1d8) or claw +3 (1d4) Ranged acid spit +2 touch (2d4 acid) Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft. Psychic Magic CL 3rd, concentration +4 5 PE—detect psychic significance (0 PE), message (0 PE), mindlink (1 PE), object reading (2 PE), telempathic projection (1 PE, DC 12), thought shield I (2 PE) Statistics Str 10, Dex 9, Con 11, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 13 Base Atk +3; CMB +3; CMD 12 Feats Alertness, Psychic Virtuoso Skills Appraise +2, Craft (woodworking) +5, Diplomacy +3, Perception +7, Sense Motive +4, Survival +7 Languages Common, Nikaal Ecology Environment warm land Organization solitary, team (2-9 plus 1 tkaesali bearer of 3rd level), tribe (10-80 plus 1 3rd level tkaesali bearer per 10 individuals, 3-10 elders of 7th level) Treasure standard (heavy mace, heavy wooden shield, other treasure) Special Abilities Acid Spit (Ex) Once every 1d4 rounds as a swift action, a nikaal may spit acid as a ranged touch attack with a range of 20 feet and no range increment. A creature struck takes 2d4 points of acid damage. Unarmored Resistance (Ex) A nikaal gains a +4 racial bonus on all saving throws against fire spells and effects and Fortitude saves to avoid damage from environmental heat. It also requires half as much food and water as a typical Medium creature. These benefits are lost if the nikaal wears armor or is carrying more than a light load.

[simul16]

The Curious Case of the Original Women of Ravenloft (or Loose Canons Can Be Dangerous)

For many years, we in the Dungeons & Dragons RPG studio have considered things like D&D novels, D&D video games, D&D comic books, as wonderful expressions of D&D storytelling and D&D lore, but they are not canonical for the D&D roleplaying game. -Jeremy Crawford Those among us who are fortunate enough to become shepherds or stewards of the D&D game must train ourselves to become art and lore experts so that we know when we’re being faithful to the game’s past and when we’re moving in a new direction. We decide, based on our understanding of the game’s history and audience, what artwork or lore to pull forward, what artwork or lore needs to change, and what artwork or lore should be buried so deep that it never again sees the light of day. -Chris Perkins There is a very simple statement to be made about all these stories: they do not really come off intellectually as problems, and they do not come off artistically as fiction. They are too contrived, and too little aware of what goes on in the world. - Raymond Chandler, "The Simple Art of Murder"

There's been a bit of a stir in the D&D community over some comments that Jeremy Crawford made at a press briefing prior to the D&D Live event about how only the information published in a WotC Fifth Edition D&D product is 'canonical' for D&D. There was enough of a reaction that Chris Perkins, self-described as "one of the D&D Studio's principal game architects", published an article on the WotC site (linked under Perkins's name above) explaining this statement and explicitly calling out what it means when discussing an intellectual property with a long-standing and vast catalog of lore, where that lore is one of the primary positive features of that property.

On the surface, it seems pretty straight-forward. Crawford's comments focused on not overwhelming partners with lore requirements when producing peripheral products like novels and video games so that they can focus on producing their product rather than meeting arbitrary lore requirements (not that this seems to have helped the most recent video game product release). Perkins mentions this, too, explicitly evoking R.A. Salvatore's novels and how Salvatore (perhaps infamously) used to incorporate elements into his stories that were outright illegal according to the D&D game rules (such as Drizzt's dual-wielding of scimitars, only made legal in 5e, or his creation of Pikel Bouldershoulder, a 'mentally challenged' dwarf who believed himself to be a druid and even eventually displayed druid-like abilities, even though dwarves in the D&D of the era of the Cleric Quintet series, where Pikel appeared, were not allowed to be druids). Perkins's comments also refocused the discussion on players, DMs, and their games, making the point that every campaign develops its own canon, and that the version of the Forgotten Realms run at a given D&D table does not perfectly match either the version of the same world run at a different table, or even as presented in the official published campaign sourcebooks.

This position is easily defensible; I even presented it myself in a response on Twitter to Perkins's own comment on an event in the Acquisitions Incorporated campaign he runs and records for online consumption. A restaurant that exists in the Forgotten Realms of Acquisitions Incorporated might have been shut down for health reasons after a shambling mound attack in a different campaign, or a previous party of PCs might have made a disastrous error during the war with reborn Netheril that led to the fall of Cormyr, with the coastal area of the former kingdom being absorbed by their rivals in Sembia while the interior lands were allowed to be overrun with monsters migrating out of the Stonelands (which makes for a nearly ideal 'starter zone' for a new 5E Realms campaign, IMO).

But just because there are benefits to such an approach to canon doesn't mean that it's the best way to approach canon, particularly with respect to a property which has had a long lifespan and is expected to have an even longer one. There are plenty of ways to criticize such an approach, many of which have been brought up by other commenters:

In any long-lasting intellectual property, there is a core of fans that are devoted to the lore and canon of that property -- see Harry Potter, Star Wars, etc. 'Loosening up' the lore not only convinces your existing super-fans not to continue to support and evangelize your property, but also prevents the creation of a new generation of such fans to continue your property's life into a new generation of fans.

Since much of what is on offer in a published sourcebook is the current 'canon' (despite Perkins's statement that "we don't produce sourcebooks that spool out a ton of backstory", the reality is that much of the content of sourcebooks like the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide and Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft is setting material: i.e.: "backstory"), if you're not going to stand up for the lore of prior editions, and by implication make it clear that future editions aren't going to be beholden to the lore of even this edition, then why get heavily invested in the lore at all? (This ties into the above point, as the fewer people who get invested in the lore of a property, the fewer evangelists for that property you will produce.)

If you have any Organized Play for your game (which D&D does, as does so-called 'living card games' which are based on an advancing storyline), loosened canon makes it easier for those authors to produce content, but simultaneously makes it harder to incorporate the content that players enjoy into the overall game. In addition, the later stories can't take into account all of the potential outcomes that a given group might have taken through a given adventure, so in effect, this turns all adventures into "railroad plots" with respect to the larger campaign narrative, where the best outcome is assumed for each adventure and thus the PCs don't really have the ability to influence the overall metaplot. (This gets complicated, because it necessarily involves different campaign outcomes contesting with one another to become the 'canonical' outcome, which is itself pretty challenging. Regardless, one of the attractions of a 'living campaign' is that the campaign in theory adapts to respond to the actions of the players; a 'living campaign' that doesn't do this is no different than a traditional scripted campaign.)

Perkins's final point in his essay, though, seems just as important to the current 'administration' as any of the other explanations, and that's the quote referenced at the top. In effect, what Perkins is saying is that the 5E team wants to be able to take what they consider 'good lore' and keep in in the game, while revising or outright eliminating 'bad lore'. Again, this seems like a defensible position, but it also has a flip side: it assumes that your changes to the lore are not just lazy or arbitrary, but are made consciously and for specific reasons. This could work well if you actually follow through on your intention, but given the realities of publishing on a schedule, it's inevitable that some amount of lazy or arbitrary decision-making will occur, and in those decisions, you can inadvertently (or allow someone without your knowledge to deliberately) make decisions that harm the canon. The statement seems reasonable, but as we'll discover below, it's actually fundamentally dishonest.

With that in mind, let's explore...

The Curious Case of the Original Women of Ravenloft

The original Ravenloft setting as released in the early 1990s, like the game studio that released it, contained a lot of old white guys, and it didn't necessarily get any more diverse with time. The early 3E Ravenloft product "Secrets of the Dread Realms" by Swords & Sorcery Studios lists eighteen Domains of Dread, half of which were unambiguously run by old white dudes. Depending on how you want to define 'old' and 'white', you could even add a few more domains to the list (such as Verbrek, ruled by the son of the former old white dude darklord, and Markovia, depending on whether you consider Markov to still be human enough to qualify as an old white dude). Only five domains were ruled by female darklords, and one of those (Borca) isn't even wholly ruled by the female darklord. Comparing the darklords of Secrets of the Dread Realms to that of Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft points out just how much of a priority it was for the 5E team to increase the diversity of darklords in the setting.

Curiously, though, the female characters retained from classic Ravenloft don't appear to have been changed in a manner that fits Perkins's explanation of what they consider when deciding what to bring forward from older lore, as in nearly every case, the character became less interesting and possesses less agency in her current 5E presentation than she did in her original pre-5E incarnation.

Jacqueline Montarri

Let's begin our survey with a character who technically doesn't yet exist in 5E lore, and thus by Crawford's definition doesn't exist in lore at all. It might seem odd to begin my presentation of 'female characters deprived of agency by their 5E presentations' by starting with a character who wasn't presented, but on the other hand, being removed from canon and thus from existence could be argued as the most severe loss of agency possible for a character.

Jacqueline doesn't exist in 5E because the organization she founded, the Red Vardo Traders, doesn't exist in 5E. In older editions, the Red Vardo Traders was both a legitimate trade company as well as a criminal organization engaging in smuggling, assassination, and other crimes, and are based in the Barovian town of Krezk. The version of Krezk presented in Curse of Strahd, however, makes no mention of the Red Vardo Traders, choosing instead to present Krezk as a small village dominated by the Monastery of Saint Markovia*, a location that does not exist in pre-5E Ravenloft. The Red Vardo Traders were founded by Jacqueline for a specific purpose, and thus both their legitimate business operations and their criminal pursuits are but shells for their true purpose: to find Jacqueline Montarri's head.

* - Saint Markovia himself was initially presented in the late 3E reboot adventure "Expedition to Castle Ravenloft", as one of the inhabitants of Castle Ravenloft's crypts; Markovia was changed from a man into a woman as part of Curse of Strahd, and the Sanctuary of First Light, the largest church of the Morninglord in Ravenloft pre-5E and placed in Krezk by its developers, was re-written in Curse of Strahd as the Monastery of Saint Markovia.

Montarri sought the secret of eternal youth, and in doing so, consulted with the Vistani seer Madame Eva to find it. Eva originally resisted, but finally revealed that the secret rested within the library of Castle Ravenloft, and Jacqueline, out of a desire to be the only possessor of such a secret, out of a need to do evil, or perhaps both, murdered Eva before departing for Strahd's castle. Unfortunately, Jacqueline's infiltration of Castle Ravenloft attracted Strahd's attention, and she was captured, turned over to the villagers in Barovia, and beheaded for her crime against Strahd. However, some of Eva's fellow Vistani asked to take custody of the body, explaining that the woman had murdered their leader, and Jacqueline eventually awoke -- wearing Madame Eva's head. She since learned that she could 'wear' the decapitated heads of others, and cannot survive long without one. Jacqueline's body has not aged, but her head ages a year for each day she wears it, requiring her to continually murder (and possibly assume the identities of those she murders) to survive while she searches for her original head, the only thing that can break the curse that Eva's kin placed upon her.

That's a pretty amazing backstory, and one I'd think would be very worth including in a new Ravenloft setting, save for one problem: Madame Eva's death. Now this isn't actually a big problem in the context of classic Ravenloft: both Eva herself and her tribe of Vistani were known to have a 'curious' relationship to time (former Ravenloft writer John W. Mangrum explicitly called Madame Eva a "time traveler" when it was pointed out that Eva's continued existence in Ravenloft canon suggested that she had not actually been killed), but it did cause confusion among those with a more static approach to continuity. Since Eva unambiguously exists in 5E Ravenloft, being referenced in both Curse of Strahd and Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, it appears that the decision to jettison Jacqueline and her Red Vardo Traders comes mainly from a desire to untangle that confusing bit about Eva actually being dead but still walking around.

Granted, the need for an organization like the Red Vardo Traders is perhaps less significant in a Ravenloft where the Core doesn't exist and every domain is its own Island of Terror, but given that Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft still lists a number of organizations known to be capable of travel between domains, including two that they just invented out of whole cloth, it would seem as though making use of a pre-existing organization might have worked just as well. The other complicating factor is that Montarri is not herself a darklord; with the focus of the 5E Ravenloft experience on darklords as linchpins of the setting, having a compelling NPC who isn't a darklord (but who honestly could be made into one fairly easily, as her curse lends itself to a darklord's punishment and her formation of the Red Vardo Traders into her way of dealing with the limitations of being a darklord) would seem to detract from what the 5E designers were trying to do with the setting.

But this isn't the only or even the worst example of a female character deprived of her agency in the new regime...

Gabrielle Aderre

Unlike Jacqueline, whose elimination from Ravenloft seems like an editorial red pen taken to an otherwise merely irritating issue, anyone familiar with Gabrielle Aderre's backstory realized that her background would have to change significantly given the changes to the Vistani in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft.

In pre-5E Ravenloft, the Vistani were an exotic human culture of outsiders, driven by their heritage and abilities to make their own way within the Domains of Dread, and having developed mysterious abilities and customs to protect themselves from its dangers. Non-Vistani were viewed with suspicion, to the point where the Vistani had a specific word ("giorgio") for non-Vistani, and those who chose to breed with non-Vistani and their offspring were frequently outcast from Vistani culture. Female Vistani were often gifted with 'The Sight', a precognitive or divination ability, but the Vistani took great pains to ensure that no male children were born with The Sight, lest that child grow up to be a prophesied doom-bringer known as a Dukkar. (One such seer was Hyskosa, whose legendary prophesies eventually led to the Great Conjunction which nearly tore the realms apart.) Because of their separation from mundane society, more traditional settlements tended to fear the Vistani, especially their rumored skill with fashioning deadly curses when wronged, and though Vistani would often trade with such settlements, they were never truly welcome in them; ultimately, the Vistani would follow their wanderlust and move on, leaving even more strange tales and confusing lore in their wake.

Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft changed all that. Now, the Vistani are simply a sprawling human culture who "refuses to be captives of a single domain, the Mists, or any terror." Their abilities are no longer unique -- there are a number of Vistani who "possess the Mist Walker Dark Gift" that can be taken by any character -- though they are said to "understand how to employ Mist Talismans" with their "traditional magic". Instead of being seen by others as mysterious outsiders, now "the news and goods Vistani bring ensures a genuine welcome" from more traditional settlements, and only "more dismal communities view Vistani with suspicion"; likewise the Vistani themselves no longer refer to non-Vistani as "giorgio", nor do they seem to have any issues with those of mixed Vistani blood traveling or dwelling among them. Most significantly, the legends of the Dukkar no longer exist, with both male and female Vistani serving as spellcasters "with many favoring divination magic for the practical help if provides in avoiding danger." In fact, Hyskosa is no longer a lost seer prophesying the doom of the Dread Realms, but "a renowned poet and storyteller" who is alive and leads his own caravan of Vistani through the Mists.

Given all of this, Gabrielle's pre-5E backstory would need to change quite drastically. Gabrielle's mother was half-Vistani, and possessed enough of The Sight to prophesy that Gabrielle could never seek to have a family or tragedy would be the inevitable result. Learning to hate the Vistani based on her mother's incessant refusal to acknowledge her desires for a family, Gabrielle eventually abandoned her mother during a werewolf attack, fleeing into Invidia where she was captured and brought before the darklord, who sought to enslave her to command her exotic sensuality. Instead, Gabrielle made use of the traditional Vistani "evil eye" to paralyze the darklord, murdering him and assuming his lordship over Invidia. Not long after, Gabrielle was visited by a 'mysterious gentleman caller', after which she discovered she was pregnant, eventually giving birth to a boy who proved to possess The Sight. Delighted that she had managed to give birth to a Dukkar, she failed to realize how quickly the boy grew or how powerful he proved to be until her son, Malocchio, usurped her throne (but not the dark lordship of Invidia) and cast her out of his court. Though there are definitely some problematic things in this story, it's not so terrible that it couldn't still serve as the foundation of a tragic Darklord's origin.

In Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, Invidia is detailed among the short descriptions of "Other Domains of Dread", and her pre-5E backstory has been utterly thrown out. There's no indication of how Gabrielle became darklord of Invidia, who the father of her child is, or anything from pre-5E lore. Instead, Gabrielle has become one of the parents from the story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- a rich, bad mom convinced of her child's greatness and willing to accept anyone who supports that story while turning a blind eye to her child's misbehavior and cruelty toward his servants and teachers.

Pre-5E Gabrielle wasn't ideal, but at least she had a drive: she wanted a family, and refused to accept that her desire could not overcome the inevitable grinding wheel of fate. 5E Gabrielle arguably isn't even evil, just supernaturally deluded (ironically, her main flaw is her blind acceptance of the rightness of her own privilege), so it's not even clear why she rather than Malocchio is the darklord of Invidia. Rather than wanting a thing she can never have, 'modern' Gabrielle assumes she has a thing that doesn't exist, and is less a tragic figure desperately trying to assert her own agency than a deluded puppet, acting out a part in a drama that makes no sense. Granted, as we noted above, some degree of Gabrielle's old backstory would need to change to accommodate the other changes to Ravenloft lore as part of the 5E transition, but the decision to simply throw out the old Gabrielle and turn her into a character who isn't even aware of her own lack of agency in her situation is, in its own way, even more tragic than Gabrielle's original pre-5E story.

Isolde

Isolde is a fascinating character, because she was created after the Carnival, the group she leads in Ravenloft lore. In pre-5E Ravenloft, the Carnival was the Carnival l'Morai, run by a sinister being known as the Puppetmaster. The events that led to the Carnival breaking free of the Puppetmaster's influence are detailed in the 1993 Ravenloft novel "Carnival of Fear". Then, in the 1999 supplement "Carnival", John W. Mangrum and Steve Miller take the Carnival l'Morai and introduce them to Isolde, a mysterious woman who joins the Carnival and assumes the role of its leader and protector. Much of the internal story within the supplement itself involves the theories that many of the other characters have about who Isolde is and where she comes from, and how various aspects of the Carnival, such as the Twisting (a change that comes over those who remain with the Carnival for any signficant amount of time and seem to bring hidden or secret traits to the surface as exotic abilities or mutations), relate to her. In the end, though (spoiler alert!), Mangrum and Miller reveal Isolde's true backstory -- she is a chaotic good ghaele eladrin who voluntarily chose to enter Ravenloft in pursuit of a fiend named the Gentleman Caller (thus the Carnival supplement is also the origin of the Caller, one of the signature non-darklord villains of the setting). The Twisting is revealed to be a side-effect of Isolde's 'reality wrinkle'; as an outsider, Isolde can re-make reality in a short distance around her, and one of the ways she does this is by bringing someone's inner self out and making it visible to others. Honestly, if you wanted a domain or group whose underlying reason-to-exist seems tailor-made for a modern RPG audience, it would be one where having your inner self revealed to the world, one that you've been taught is freakish and strange, proves to be beautiful to those who accept you.

But that's not what we got in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, perhaps because of the book's insistence on page 6 that "Nowhere Is Safe". Instead of the 3E ghaele eladrin, Isolde is now just an eladrin, a 4E planar elf variant. Instead of entering Ravenloft and finding the Carnival l'Morai in need of a leader and protector, she was manipulated first by a powerful archfey into leading a fey carnival, then inexplicably decided to swap carnivals with a different carnival run by a group of shadar-kai through the Shadowfell, even going so far as to accept the intelligent (and evil) sword Nepenthe, who is the actual darklord of the Carnival.

Again, as with Gabrielle, some simplification of Isolde's backstory was probably inevitable, as the original backstory made use of very specific Ravenloft mechanics that the 5E version simply doesn't want to deal with (mainly Isolde's 'reality wrinkle' which drives the Twisting). But not only did the designers take a character who had explicitly chosen both to enter Ravenloft in pursuit of the Gentleman Caller and to take leadership of the Carnival to serve as its protector and changed her into a character who is manipulated into doing everything she does that gets her into Ravenloft (and leaves her no memory of how or why she got there), the designers didn't even decide to keep Isolde as the most significant character in Carnival, allowing the sword Isolde carries to take that starring role.

Oddly, a lot of the changes to Isolde's story are reminiscent of the classic Ravenloft story of Elena Faith-Hold and how she became the darklord of Nidala in the Shadowlands, which suggested to me that perhaps at one time the Shadowlands were not going to be included in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, and the changes to Isolde's story were meant to be a call-out to what would be the missing story of Elena. But the Shadowlands also exist as an "Other Domain of Dread", so in the end, the changes to Isolde served no real positive purpose.

Interlude

It's worth taking a moment to contrast the characters above with the domains in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft that gained female darklords who didn't have female darklords previously:

Dementlieu, formerly ruled by Dominic D'Honaire, is now ruled by Saidra D'Honaire; it is hinted but not stated explicitly in Saidra's backstory that she is not actually related to the former darklord, but simply assumed the family name as part of her assumption of the rulership of Dementlieu, in which the Grand Masquerade must be maintained above all else.

Falkovnia, formerly ruled by Vlad Drakov, is now ruled by Vladeska Drakov; Vladeska's backstory makes it plain that she is a female re-skin of the original Vlad Drakov, himself a character from the Dragonlance world of Krynn. Other than her origin, which is now no longer tied to Dragonlance, her backstory is largely the same as her predecessor's, save that instead of the dead rising to battle Drakov's attempted invasions of their northern neighbor, Darkon, now the dead rise to reclaim Falkovnia itself from Vladeska's attempt to 'pacify' it.

Lamordia, formerly ruled by Adam, the creation of the mad doctor Victor Mordenheim, is now ruled by the mad doctor Viktra Mordenheim; Victor's hubris in his attempt to create life are matched by Viktra's attempts to defeat death.

Valachan, formerly ruled by Baron Urik von Kharkov, is now ruled by Chakuna; in one of the few backstories in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft that acknowledges a former darklord, Chakuna's backstory is that she had to become a monster (a were-panther, specifically) to defeat a monster (a panther who was polymorphed into a man as part of a revenge plot, fled from the Forgotten Realms into Ravenloft upon realizing what he was, where he was transformed into a vampire...look, not every convoluted backstory for the old Ravenloft darklords was necessarily a good convoluted backstory).

I'd argue that each of the darklords above retains her agency in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, but it's curious to note that each of those darklords seems to have inherited that sense of agency from her relationship to the male darklord that preceded her, sometimes literally (in the cases of Saidra and Chakuna) and sometimes figuratively (in the cases where Vladeska and Viktra are mainly female re-skinnings of the original male darklords). The designers clearly have the capacity to allow a female darklord to exercise agency and have drive and purpose to her existence, if that drive and purpose was inherited from or inspired by an original male character. If the character was a woman all along, though, then agency and drive and purpose are not really important to the designers, if they can fit that character into the specially designed hole the size of the concept they had for the new domain. Which brings us to the character who I feel was done dirtiest by the designers in moving from classic Ravenloft to 5E...

Jacqueline Renier

Jacqueline Renier is one of the original Ravenloft darklords, tracing her origins all the way back to the original "Black Box" campaign setting released by TSR in 1990. She appears in two different places in that boxed set -- once as the chaotic evil darklord of Richemulot in the Realm of Terror booklet, and in a portrait of the Renier family included as a handout in the box. The Renier family was actually an ancient wererat clan in the world they originally came from, and Jacqueline herself was the granddaughter of the patriarch of the clan, Claude Renier. When the Reniers fled into Ravenloft to escape the justice of their original world, they first appeared in Falkovnia, where they ruled the sewers until finally forced out by Vlad Drakov's troops. Fleeing into the Mists, the Reniers found themselves in the new domain of Richemulot, and Claude found himself the domain's darklord.

Jacqueline proved an eager student in the manipulative ways of her elders, however; both her grandfather, who maintained control over the clan through a combination of coercion and sheer force of personality, and her mother, who murdered Jacqueline's father seemingly only so that Jacqueline and her twin sister would not need to lose the Renier name. Jacqueline learned the game so well that one day she manipulated her own grandfather into his destruction at her hands, so cleanly that no one else in the family dared to oppose her ascension. Jacqueline was now the matriarch of the Reniers, and the ruler of Richemulot.

But 3E Ravenloft added a few additional wrinkles to Jacqueline's backstory. In the Ravenloft Gazetteers, it was revealed that Jacqueline's ambition to assume control of her clan and the domain of Richemulot were not just driven by a desire for power, but in the name of a vision of the future where wererats would reigns supreme over all other humanoids. She began encouraging migration into the largely undeveloped and underpopulated lands of Richemulot, while overseeing work in putrid laboratories to develop the Becoming Plague -- a disease that would transform humanoids en-masse into wererats under Jacqueline's ultimate command. In every speech Jacqueline would give about the glorious future of Richemulot, it was not the future of humanity she was referring to, but rather the coming age of the rat.

Jacqueline's backstory wasn't perfect -- as with other female darklords, she also got saddled with the 'she desperately wants to be loved and is terrified of being alone' trope -- but for the most part, this is a truly impressive backstory. And in our age, a domain featuring an ambitious politician pushing nationalism to motivate her partisans, only for that nationalism to not be what her partisans believe it is would seem to be an extremely fitting template for horror. It would certainly seem possible to re-write the few problematic aspects of her character with more modern tropes; make Jacqueline an 'ace' (asexual) but who still craves romance based on her upbringing and is both attracted to and terrified by anyone who might potentially prove to be her equal, and you've got what I'd consider to be one of the best darklords in the setting.

As you might expect, given Jacqueline's placement on this list, that's not nearly what we got in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft.

Instead, Jacqueline was born as a noblewoman within Richemulot, and was quick to notice that the rise of the bourgeoise would threaten the power of the nobility and lead to their diminution in society. Jacqueline's grandfather was not the charismatic, sadistic mastermind of a clan of wererats, but an aging nobleman growing infirm in his old age, and he proved unable and/or unwilling to work to change things, so Jacqueline would need to be the person to reverse her family's fortunes and the decline of the nobility in society. Not by doing anything herself, mind, but rather by trying to find an organization of nobles working to maintain the supremacy of the nobility. Finding them, she learned too late that they were secretly a society of wererats when she was forcibly made into one of them, but she quickly adapted, rising to command both the rat and wererat populations before finally unleashing a plague -- the Gnawing Plague -- upon the populace. Rather than converting the population into wererats, the Gnawing Plague just killed them, and when the people begged Jacqueline and the nobles for aid, Jacqueline made helpful noises but did nothing useful (it's not recorded if she uttered the words "Let them eat cake," as she watched the peasants die). Her 'torment' as a darklord is that she wants to return to the privileged life she had as a noblewoman, but can't, as the need to supervise the creation of new, more virulent plagues and unleash them to keep the peasantry from revolting and overthrowing the nobility prevents her from building the kind of society that would actually support a thriving nobility.

Instead of a domain where we have seen the future and humanity has no place in it, we have a one-percenter using every ounce of her privilege to stay above the ranks of the peasants she despises. Instead of an intelligent, ambitious planner capable of executing long-range goals flawlessly, we have a vapid, shallow socialite yearning to return to her days as a debutante. As villains go, Jacqueline has fallen a long, long way from her portrayal in pre-5E Ravenloft.

Probably the most offensive part of the redesign of Richemulot as 'the plague domain' is that we've spent over nineteen months living through a plague of our own, and the kind of horror that is presented as Richemulot's primary adventure cycle, the Cycle of the Plague, bears almost no resemblance to the reality we've lived through. Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft presents a world where common people are to be feared, and authorities abuse their power to heartlessly quarantine the sick to stop the disease from overtaking everyone, yet say nothing about the horror of those who refuse to accept that the plague exists, or who profiteer from bizarre 'cures' and treatments. The designers present Richemulot as an example of 'disaster horror', where "the world has fallen into ruin -- or it's getting there fast," when the domain could be an example of the most classic of all horror tropes: humans are the most horrible of monsters.

Thus, the final quote leading this essay. It's not my place to argue that the folks who wrote Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft are good or bad writers, and as Raymond Chandler noted, it's not really necessary. After all, "[t]he poor writer is dishonest without knowing it, and the fairly good one can be dishonest because he doesn't know what to be honest about." And ultimately this entire drive, to try to distance the product from the mistakes of the past by also distancing it from its successes, all while presuming that one can correct the deficiencies of the past without committing mistakes that, in hindsight, will seem just as obvious to our successors: that undertaking is fundamentally dishonest. The people writing, editing, and publishing Dungeons & Dragons today grew up on the old tropes that are now being rejected as no longer being relevant, as unnecessary complexity, as potentially harmful, without realizing that the harmful bits aren't just what was written down, but what was learned, such as a woman's motivation and agency meaning little unless they correspond with those of a man.

Yes, there's a lot of stuff published before 2014 that seems bad to us today that, for whatever reason, didn't seem bad to us back when it was published, read, and became part of our fictional worlds. But there's also no reason to assume that process ended in 2014. Update the lore where it's needed, but realize that the process never ends, even with the lore you're writing today to replace it.

[jiubilant]

looked into empress morihatha after seeing her name in that uesp list of septim emperors and both she and the guy who allegedly assassinated her are pretty interesting. excerpt from volume four of “brief history of the empire”

When Uriel VI fell off a horse and could not be resuscitated by the finest Imperial healers, his beloved sister Morihatha took up the imperial tiara. At 25 years of age, she had been described by (admittedly self-serving) diplomats as the most beautiful creature in all of Tamriel. She was certainly well-learned, vivacious, athletic, and a well-practised politician. She brought the Archmagister of Skyrim to the Imperial City and created the second Imperial Battlemage since the days of Tiber Septim.

Morihatha finished the job her brother had begun, and made the Imperial Province a true government under the Empress (and later, the Emperor). Outside the Imperial Province, however, the Empire had been slowly disintegrating. Open revolutions and civil wars had raged unchallenged since the days of her grandfather Cephorus II. Carefully coordinating her counterattacks, Morihatha slowly claimed back her rebellious vassals, always avoiding overextending herself.

Though Morihatha's military campaigns were remarkably successful, her deliberate pace often frustrated the Council. One Councilman, an Argonian who took the Colovian name of Thoricles Romus, furious at her refusal to send troops to his troubled Black Marsh, is commonly believed to have hired the assassins who claimed her life in 3E 339. Romus was summarily tried and executed, though he protested his innocence to the last.

[source]

[talenlee]

August 2023 Wrapup

Kinda flew by there, or maybe it’s just that when a semester is firing, then I start breaking my weeks into more and more tightly managed little snippets. I think I’m going to have to change when I have snacks, any way, it’s time to get talking about all the great articles I wrote this week and youuuuu didn’t read yet!

First up, we have a months’ worth of articles talking about everything in the world through the medium of talking about Games:

The Game, my favourite example of games as art and games’ requirement of consent (really)

Hit The Silk, which incentivises you to lie separately instead of making rules about lying together

Dangeresque, The Roomisode Triungulate, which is me and Fox just playing a videogame together and delighting in how it makes our millenial brains go ‘oh hey, the old thing!’

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, where I talk about the way that the parser based text adventure game represents a distinct game form, at least in the hands of a really, really good writer

Then there’s the articles for this month’s Story Pile:

Inside Job, one of my favourite cartoons because one of my OC’s girlfriend is basically in it

Nona the Ninth, as I continue my descent into Being Locked Tomb Trash

Lie To Me, a story based on laundering the opinion of a guy who lies a lot, but you know, maybe that’s the point

My Master Has No Tail, which I love a lot and also is an anime about theatre and queerness and like, I could put it in almost any theme month this year, I swear

I also did Werewolf Week, where I talk about different ways to handle werewolves in 3e D&D, 4e D&D, and how I use them in Cobrin’Seil, my own setting. I also talk about how the Breaking Baddiverse represents a paratextual playground for media commentary. And then, more, I talk about The Locked Tomb and about how it deceives you about what a soul does and doesn’t work.

There’s articles about building gimmicks, which is mostly a compilation of videos from other magicians, and a few audio posts as I experiment with what ten minutes of spoken audio feels like compared to a thousand words of written text. I feel like audio is easier to do but also like I’m kind of short-changing you. The audio between Fox and me about My Master Has No Tail is conversational, that feels okay – but I also feel a little selfconscious about asking you to spend ten minutes listening to a micropodcast about Oppenheimer and The Foxes of Hydesville.

Foxes of Hydesville, by the way? Killer final line.

This month, a month in which I got thinking about deceit and conniving and constructions of attention control, was what got me thinking about a horror movie with one of the most perfect final lines of all time. Yeah, it was just that final line that made me think ‘wait, that’d be great on a shirt,’ and then got me thinking about how I could use that design somehow. Bonus, this design is built on a technique I learned in other designs that won’t show up until later.

You can get this sticker or shirt design here!

It’s a new semester! This year, I’m doing two classes: One on videogame critique, and one on online persona. I know I’ve gotten very twitchy right now about the term ‘content’ because my students are using it to describe literally anything. I mean I feel on one level that’s because ‘content’ to me still feels like a thing that fills a container, and it deliberately fails to appreciate that you’re not the one shaping the container. I guess I dislike it because it speaks of a lack of a point of view. But where was I,

Oh yes! I also it seems had a very creative month in prototyping – there’s more work on Bloodwork, I released a print-and-play game I want to go back and revise to make it more Star-Trekky, and I also belted out engines for a Sonic The Hedgehog fan game, a game about moonshiner werewolves I might be consigning to a superior for use in a generative media project, and I have an engine for a wrestling game. I feel very busy.

What’s more this month has featured daily hours of work on the hardest thing in the world, a literature review. A literature review is how you try and convince an arbitary reader from a distant location that you know what you’re talking about by referring to every idea you’re ever going to use in one giant document and every time I open mine I feel like I should have a little cry. But this month I have been assiduously working on it, every day, to try and put words into it, because that’s the only way it’s going to get big and strong and healthy. But man nothing puts you in your place the same way as looking at a document that’s meant to answer and why should we listen to you and realise that even with all the work on it I’ve done, I still don’t have a good answer. I mean I know what I’m talking about, but how am I going to prove that to people? I still have the lingering memory of talking about when I presented my work product as a teacher asked ‘well, why are all the board game boards square? Is that something?’ because she was trying very hard to contribute in a space where I didn’t realise I was talking to someone who didn’t understand me.

Anyway, that’s just anxiety talking, good thing I’ve got nothing adding pressure to that.

I don’t know why I’ve been so creative this month. I fear it’s part of my brain leaping away at the idea of putting work into a particular space, like I’m somehow trying to grab a bar of soap then chasing it as it squeezes away. Did Moonshiners happen because my brain found it the most convenient way to express that idea at this moment or did it happen because it felt easier to devise a whole new game and currency card game system rather than try to explain what I mean by silo’d out design thinking?

Onward, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Coronation

So I said I would post the crazy things that go through my head for no reason on any given day. Here’s one of those.

Who are these people?

It was enrollment season at Cassell College, right after the 3E exam results were released and a caravan of gleaming black Rolls Royce cars drove in a stately procession through the the streets. Pedestrians stopped to watch the unusual sight, whispering about who this procession might be for. The windows of the vehicles were completely blacked out, blocking the view from outside. The entirety of the vehicles was bulletproof. Each one of them has flags displaying a family crest, a green dragon raising its wings and spewing flame on a red background. The caravan stopped in front of Amber Hall. The entrance garden welcomed them with expertly sculpted topiaries of lions and horses. Silk garlands lined the covered walk. The people getting out only got out on one side. The vehicles formed a wall, blocking them from view.

The freshman Caesar Gattuso was already holding his welcome banquet for new members of the Student Union at Norton Hall after winning the Day of Liberty competition against the club Lionheart. The Gattuso family was notoriously rich and high class. Even rulers of countries would be honored to be an invited guest at their galas but people were filing out of the Rolls Royces for this occasion instead. It begged the question why they would spurn going to an arguably better party right next door. Perhaps it was because they were not invited. Or perhaps this was a deliberate play to show they were equal, if not better, than the Gattusos. A bold move, considering those who challenged the Gattuso family risked getting their attention. It wasn’t unusual for those who got their attention to meet with a challenge in return. Losing such a challenge came at a high cost. For some, it would cost them their lives. It was a good reason to conceal one’s identity.

The people getting out had white, grey or salt and pepper hair. Men in crisp suits and black leather shoes walked with women on their arms. Each face was covered in a sequined black masquerade mask adorned with blue feathers. No one checked them in at the door. Everyone in the masks knew they were supposed to be there. From within those doors, a live symphony orchestra and soft sounds of voices and laughter came from the golden light.

A stretch SUV rolled up like a steel anaconda and stopped in front of the entrance garden. All the drivers in this caravan opened their doors and filed out, forming a line on either side of the path to the doors, standing at attention and saluting military style as a young man with dark hair got out with an older man with grey hair who wore a black suit complete with military colors and medals. He walked with a cane made of silver wood and topped with a brass knob.

“Dominic. Lift your head up and stop sulking like a God-damn child.” The man growled under his breath. In a smooth quick motion, long practiced, he struck the young man in the instep with the tip of the cane.

The young man gasped and looked forward but did not break stride despite the pain running up his shin.

The floor of Amber Hall is paved in mirror like marble carved from the same quarry as the Roman Colosseum. Its stately columns rise twenty feet into a dome ceiling of curved windows, lined with gold plated frames. A heavy gilded crystal chandelier dripped from the ceiling to shine light on the people below. 

Waiters bearing thin plates of champagne flutes danced among the crowd. Long tables of delicacies framed either sides of a wall. A whole roasted pig lay flat, the classic apple in its mouth, its belly cut open. An ice sculpture of two leaping horses was the centerpiece between the sweeping staircases that led to the second floor. Royalty would not seem out of place here, but the guests were all retired military. They carried ceremonial daggers, swords and pistols along with their suits and gowns. This being Cassell College, however, one could rightly wonder if ‘ceremonial’ was a true way to describe such ancient weaponry.

The lofty double doors opened into the hall and Dominic stood beside his father with the cane, carrying a straight, basket-hilted sword at his hip, a chain arcing from his coat’s breast pocket that was attached to a watch hidden inside. He lifted his chin as proudly as the man next to him, but stared through the magnificent scene in front of him as though he were blind.

The music died down. All faces turned to look at them, full of expectation.

"Prince Dominic of Amsterdam has tested true to his blood." The man announced. "House Nassau will return to the path of Dragonslaying."

The announcement was met with enthusiastic applause and the band began to play a triumphant tune.

Prince Dominic was of the old royal blood. The Dragonslaying royals split off from the political royals nearly a thousand years ago with intent to perfect their dragonblood lineage through carefully selected breeding. Over time, they grew stronger and more bold in their efforts to suppress humanity's natural foe. It was said that this 'shadow royalty' held more influence than that which showed up in the newspapers. This secret branch of the royal family soon joined the Secret Society of Dragonslayers and their names, Nassau and Orange, are recorded in that history. That is until a mysterious disaster befell them. Only one servant girl survived to spread the news. The entire family had been killed in their beds by a band of assassins. The sun set on that glorious family and they weren't heard from again for until, one day, a message arrived at Cassell College from the 'Dragon King of Nassau'. He offered his son to Cassell College.

This is why they had not acknowledged the Gattuso family heir's Gala on this same night and why this gala was filled with military men. Each guest was no soft personality but members of the elite royal guard. The remaining ranks of a military lost to history had come together to receive their new head of state.

Dominic kept his head high, but trembled inside. The 3E exam had left him feeling hollowed out and weak, but his father deemed a visit to the Psychologist Toyama unnecessary and kept him sequestered until the Gala. The new royal family was as fragile as a dragon embryo. As the new heir, Dominic couldn't show any signs of fragility.

Down the staircases, women in sheer white dresses and long hair tied up in braids and buns descended to the sound of a stately march played by the orchestra. Each one carries royal purple cushions with the ancient ancestral regalia. The first carries the crown, a thin circlet of gold with a diamond at its facing. The second carries a golden engraved scepter. And the third: a sword in a sheath made of genuine dragon skin, said to date back to the royal days in Europe. The women stood in a line facing Dominic. Their expressions are blank and serene, like the three women weaving the strands of fate. The music dies down and the hall is silent before these goddesses. Despite the hundred guests, a heavy solemn quiet descended. No one moved.

The women spoke in one voice. "Say your vows."

Dominic took one stride forward. He spoke, his young voice firm and strong. "I swear to the people of my Kingdom that I shall uphold the mission of my ancestors, to hunt and to kill the dragons wherever they may hide."

He paused, swallowing. "This. I promise."

"I swear I will strengthen the bloodline, defend and preserve the homeland, and protect the royal family from all corruption. I will employ all means placed at my disposal for the good of humanity."

His voice echoed in that silence for three seconds. Then came the grating metal sound of dozens of swords, daggers and guns being drawn. The entire assembly kneeled to the floor and all heads were bowed. Everyone placed their hands on their hearts, and solemnly closed their eyes, save his father who stood, watching with a cold and critical gaze. A hundred voices declared in unison.

"We receive and invest you as king. We swear to maintain your inviolable sovereignty and the rights of your crown. This we promise!"

That final shout rattled the venue. Dominic took a deep breath.

The three women stepped forward. First with the crown. She lifted it and placed it on his head.

"Long live the King!" The crowd shouted.

Next, the scepter, placed in his hand.

"Long Live the King!"

Finally, the sword. His hand curled around its hilt and his arm tensed, locked as though struck with an electric bolt. The rest of the crowd could barely breathe as they watched with apprehensive glances. The mystery of such ancient relics had sparked rumors that those unable to control the sword were to be corrupted by it. The sword would devour the swordsman, turning him into a Death Servitor. The older man with the cane lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes. Dominic's teeth clenched momentarily but he slowly relaxed and took the sword from the cushion. The held breath of the guests let out in a relieved sigh and murmuring. The man's cane then thumped the ground in displeasure and the silence fell again.

The three women returned to their places in front of Dominic. They turned to watch him with pale cold faces. Dominic himself was pale from exhaustion. A thin sheen of sweat appearing on his forehead. The hand holding the sword trembled for a second, then stilled. The women opened their mouths and they shouted out in perfect harmony "Long live the King. Death to all dragons!"

[libertineangel]

The Third Era Wizards' Convocation

Mages are not known for their compromising and agreeable ways, but in 3E 219 the leadership of the Mages Guild was particularly quarralsome. This came to a head with the death of the Arch-Mage, which was hardly an unexpected occurrence - no Imperial, even a master wizard, expects to see a third century of life - but it was nonetheless not planned for, as the leading mages were far too focused on their own present feuds and machinations to prepare for the future. Thus, when the time came to nominate a successor from among their ranks to lead the Guild, their fractious tendencies grew greater still, as none would want to see their rivals elevated above them, and nobody had a single name they wouldn't consider an opponent to some degree.

And so they simply didn't.

It is not uncommon for successor nominations to take several months, possibly even a year for consensus to be reached and a new Arch-Mage elected, but this was a most uncommon situation. Endless debates on candidates' merit, their beliefs and minutiae of Guild laws ensued without any hint of agreement, except for the single decision that when issues were brought to Guild leadership they were to be heard and discussed together, as none of them had the right to act on behalf of all of them.

This de facto governing body became known as the Wizards' Convocation, and while it rather damaged the reputation of the Arcane University - it ceased traditional interactions with the other centres of magical learning, as there was no leader to engage with them - the local Guildhalls enjoyed a more comfortable level of autonomy, having no new decrees or requirements handed to them from their superiors.

The Convocation lasted for four years, only broken when one member, stressed and distracted by the constant arguments, opened a connection to the wrong plane of Oblivion and was swallowed by a maelstrom of Chaotic Potential; this created an opening for a new Master Wizard, one who hadn't spent decades making enemies of all the others, and upon their promotion they found themselves within days promoted once more, becoming a dangerously inexperienced yet nonetheless welcomed Arch-Mage.

Their first move as leader was to change Guild law so that Wizards and Warlocks could also elect the Arch-Mage if the Master Wizards had unsuccessfully deliberated for six months.

[noblecrumpet-dorkvision]

D&D 3e>5e Conversion: Inevitables Part 1

(from left) Zelekhut, Kolyarut, and Marut

Kolyarut

A kolyarut is shaped very closely to a humanoid. It wears ornate golden armor and a flowing golden robe and wields an immaculate blade. It could be mistaken for a human knight if it weren't for the red clockwork parts making up its facial features, and the fact that its armor is fused to itself.

Kolyaruts track down those who have deliberately broken a contract or deal they knowingly entered. They are most concerned with contracts that have great consequences when broken or contracts made between powerful beings.

They usually carry a copy of their target's contract with them and are highly formal and talkative compared to most inevitables.

Medium construct, lawful neutral

Armor Class: 16 (breastplate)

Hit Points: 178 (21d8 + 84)

Speed: 30 ft.

STR 16 (+3); DEX 13 (+1); CON 18 (+4); INT 10 (+0); WIS 17 (+3); CHA 16 (+3)

Saves: DEX +5, CON +8, WIS +7

Skills: Deception +7, Investigation +4, Insight +7

Damage Resistances: bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage from nonmagical weapons that aren't adamantine

Damage Immunities: poison, psychic

Condition Immunities: charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned

Senses: darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 13

Languages: All

Challenge: 12 (8,400 XP)

Magic Resistance. The kolyarut has advantage on saving throws against spells and magical effects.

Magic Weapons. The kolyarut's weapon attacks are magical.

Fast Healing. The kolyarut regains 5 hit points at the start of each of its turns as long as it has at least 1 hit point remaining.

Innate Spellcasting. The kolyarut's innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 15). The kolyarut can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

At will: disguise self, fear, hold person, invisibility (self only), locate creature, suggestion

1/day each: bestow curse (7th level), hold monster

1/week: geas

Quickened Suggestion (3/Day). The kolyarut can use a bonus action during its turn to cast suggestion.

Actions

Multiattack. The kolyarut makes three longsword attacks and uses its vampiric touch.

Longsword. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit 9 (1d8 + 5) slashing damage, or 10 (1d10 + 5) slashing damage if using two hands.

Vampiric Touch. Melee Spell Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit 18 (4d8) necrotic damage. The kolyarut regains a number of hit points equal to half of the necrotic damage dealt.

Enervating Ray. One creature the kolyarut can see within 60 feet must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw. A creature already under the effects of a kolyarut's enervating ray automatically succeeds on this save.     On a failed save, the creature gains three levels of exhaustion immediately. At the end of each of the creature's turns, it can make a new saving throw, shedding a level of exhaustion on a success. Once the creature succeeds at three such saves, the effect ends.

Reactions

Riposte. When a creature misses the kolyarut with a melee attack, the kolyarut can use its reaction to immediately make a longsword attack against that creature. On a hit, the attack deals an additional 5 (1d10) damage.

Marut

A marut looks like a hulking humanoid made from onyx-colored clockwork outfitted in elaborate golden armor. They have massive fists, one crackling with electricity and the other reverberating with a sonic hum.

Maruts hunt down creatures that have cheated death in some way. Perhaps another creature died in their place, or maybe they have extended their life through lichdom. Minor infractions like raising mindless undead are usually not on a marut's radar; they instead seek those who have changed their fated destiny to die. Only the marut knows the specifics of who deserves cosmic justice. When they discover such a crime, they hunt down the transgressor to bring them the death they escaped from.

Large construct, lawful neutral

Armor Class: 18 (plate armor)

Hit Points: 252 (24d10 + 120)

Speed: 40 ft.

STR 28 (+9); DEX 13 (+1); CON 20 (+5); INT 12 (+1); WIS 17 (+3) CHA 18 (+4)

Saves: DEX +6, CON +10, WIS +8

Skills: Athletics +14, Investigation +6, Insight +8, Persuasion +9, Perception +8, Religion +6

Damage Resistances: thunder, lightning; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage from nonmagical weapons that aren't adamantine

Damage Immunities: poison, psychic

Condition Immunities: charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned

Senses: darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 13

Languages: All

Challenge: 15 (13,000 XP)

Awesome Blows. Each time the marut hits a creature of Medium or smaller size with a melee weapon attack, the creature must make a DC 18 Strength saving throw or be pushed 20 feet away from the marut and be knocked prone.

Magic Resistance. The marut has advantage on saving throws against spells and magical effects.

Magic Weapons. The marut's weapon attacks are magical.

Power Attack. The marut can reduce its attack bonus by 5 whenever it makes a melee weapon attack. If the attack hits, it deals a bonus 10 damage.

Fast Healing. The marut regains 10 hit points at the start of each of its turns as long as it has at least 1 hit point remaining.

Innate Spellcasting. The kolyarut's innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 15). The marut can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

At will: dimension door, fear, command (3rd level), dispel magic, locate creature, true seeing

1/day each: bestow curse (9th level), chain lightning, circle of death, wall of force

1/week: earthquake, geas, plane shift

Actions

Multiattack. The marut makes two attacks, one with its fist of thunder and one with its fist of lightning.

Fist of Thunder. Melee Weapon Attack: +14 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit 16 (2d6 + 9) bludgeoning damage plus 10 (3d6) thunder damage. The target must make a DC 18 Constitution saving throw or become deafened until the start of the marut's next turn.

Fist of Lightning. Melee Weapon Attack: +14 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit 16 (2d6 + 9) bludgeoning damage plus 10 (3d6) lightning damage. The target must make a DC 18 Constitution saving throw or become blinded until the start of the marut's next turn.

Zelekhut

A zelekhut appears to be a clockwork centaur with ornate golden armor over porcelain skin. When entering combat with its intended target, it sprouts golden wings from its back and spiked golden chains from its wrists that crackle with electricity.

Zelekhuts hunt down those who try to escape punishment or disrupt justice. They are highly adept at finding their targets using both their tracking instincts as well as spells. Inevitably, they will find their mark and either mete out justice or bring them back to whatever fate they were fleeing.

Large construct, lawful neutral

Armor Class: 16 (natural armor)

Hit Points: 104 (11d10 + 44)

Speed: 40 ft., fly 40 ft.

STR 21 (+5); DEX 11 (+0); CON 18 (+4); INT 10 (+0); WIS 17 (+3); CHA 15 (+2)

Saves: DEX +4, CON +8, WIS +7

Skills: Investigation +4, Insight +7, Perception +7, Survival +7

Damage Resistances: lightning, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage from nonmagical weapons that aren't adamantine

Damage Immunities: poison, psychic

Condition Immunities: charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned

Senses: darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 17

Languages: All

Challenge: 9 (5,000 XP)

Charge. If the zelekhut moves at least 30 feet straight toward a target and then hits it with a stomp attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra 10 (3d6) bludgeoning damage.

Magic Resistance. The zelekhut has advantage on saving throws against spells and magical effects.

Magic Weapons. The zelekhut's weapon attacks are magical.

Fast Healing. The zelekhut regains 5 hit points at the start of each of its turns as long as it has at least 1 hit point remaining.

Innate Spellcasting. The zelekhut's innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 16). The zelekhut can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

At will: clairvoyance, dispel magic, fear, hold person, hunter's mark, locate creature, true seeing

3/day each: bestow curse (5th level), hold monster

1/week: geas

Actions

Multiattack. The zelekhut makes two spiked chain attacks and one stomp attack.

Spiked Chain. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit 12 (2d6 + 5) piercing damage plus 3 (1d6) lightning damage.

Stomp. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit 14 (2d8 + 5) bludgeoning damage. The target must make a DC 16 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

[hermaeusmorasuggestion]

Selection From the Registry of Misdirected Prayers

Date: 1E 707

Prayer in full:

O Master of Mysteries,

In pursuit of knowledge I delve into the ruins of Arkngthunch-Sturdumz in three days’ time. I ask Your blessing and Your protection as I seek to uncover the fate of our erstwhile foolish kin, the Dwemer, and perhaps even return with some of their technology so that it might be repurposed in Your name.

I remain Your humble servant, Relyn Omaren

Response: After some deliberation, it was decided that not forwarding this wouldn’t look good for either of us. Successfully redirected.

Addendum: Uuuugggghhhhh. One of the first of many Dwemeriphiles to come, but they were genuinely in it for the knowledge so I couldn’t just let their plea go unanswered, could I? Of course the Tribunal was still getting their footing with the whole godhood thing- I understand the onslaught of an entire land’s wishes and curses can be somewhat of a hassle to take in for the first century or so- so just this once I stepped in instead. Much to the chagrin of my patron.

Relyn didn’t find the answer they were looking for, but they got out alive, which was frankly way harder for me than it should’ve been. How many booby-traps does one ruin need!??!?!! Sometimes I think the Dwemer did it all just to vex me, specifically.

Date: 1E 1105

Prayer in full:

Grandfather,

I’m Vashi but You know that. Where is Goggie? I can’t sleep if she’s not there. Thank you, I love you!

Response: Successfully redirected.

Addendum: Goggie the stuffed guar had been temporarily misplaced at the nearby temple. An easy enough fix, if a bit awkward being caught in the act of returning it and mistaken for an Acolyte, but I was definitely in the area anyway so it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t a big deal! The kid was five years old and it wasn’t a big deal that he thought I followed another god- someone is just possessive and making a big deal out of what was, decidedly and objectively, not a big deal.

Date: 1E 2704

Prayer in full:

I know that we will be protected, so I don’t pray to ask for reassurance of that. I know that I am in Your sight, both as a student and as a child of Morrowind, and no matter my heritage this is true; I don’t pray to ask for reassurance of this either. But this has been a tumultuous time, and I find myself questioning things... You have taught me that a question is no evil thing, and yet I am full of fear. I do not know what I am afraid of, exactly, but I pray that You grant me the clarity to understand my emotions. I know that my body is a gift, so why does it fill me with such disdain? I know that I love my parents, so why does it pain me to be called their daughter? Please grant me your wisdom.

Response: Successfully redirected.

Addendum: As is typical for this kind of thing, this actually ended up being taken on by one of Vivec’s faithful instead. Only Armigers that are trained in restoration (including alchemy), illusion, or alteration are allowed to act as these Counsellors for people during their transition, so even though it had to wait until after the invasion had been... taken care of, Indaenir got the guidance they needed.

Date: 2E 322

Prayer in full:

O Lover of Learning! O Great Teacher! O Musical Mystic, lend me Your insight.

Our final Alteration exam is in less than twelve hours and I- I admit, it was a personal failing, I wasn’t paying attention, but I can’t stand the thought of being sent home, I can’t go back to that life! Please, help me to learn all that I should’ve, I promise I’ll study, really study, from here on out. Please help me.

Response: Not redirected.

Addendum: Seems someone isn’t as straight a follower of the Divines as they’d like to think they are, if their prayer ended up heard here! Followers of the Tribunal can be excused the mixup, but this was an Imperial. Any scrap of curiosity or hunger for more than what they’re taught is something It can latch onto, and it looks like the- admittedly pretty bland- lower-level courses taught at the local Mage’s Guild weren’t to Ser Herennius’ standards of interest.

Took the poor thing out for a meal after he inevitably failed his exam and gave the usual offer. Should be joining us within the week.

Date: 2E 543

Prayer in full:

O Lord of Memory,

Hear my prayer! I have lost no don’t tell him you lost it fool a true Telvanni never admits something like that ahem.

Hear my prayer! My family’s ancestral tome of spells has been stolen. I seek Your guidance in discerning its location, as it has been hidden from me- no doubt by a foul practitioner of Daedra worship seeking to bring about the ruin of all Morrowind! I beseech You, aid me in finding this relic so I am not yelled at no don’t say that either what are you an infant?

I beseech you, aid me in finding this relic so my ancestors can know peace. 

Response: Successfully redirected, after taking care of the “stolen tome” problem myself. It was under his bed.

Addendum: I hope Ser Fodros doesn’t mind that I copied down some of the recipes in that ‘tome of spells’- his grandfather’s take on a Clockwork Citrus Fillet was just too good to pass up. The cute little gear-shaped lemon slices were a frankly inspired idea.

Date: 2E 583

Prayer in full:

Soul of Scholars,

[Does Adahni do this correctly? Well, only one way to know.

This one has long been curious of your realm, a supposed haven for those who wish to learn the secrets of Nirn and beyond. Adahni comes to Morrowind seeking like-minded scholars only to find close-minded bigots. Adahni wishes this is not all there is to the land of the Temple her friend talked so highly of, but they look at her in a way she does not like very much. They think she does not understand their language, but unfortunately Adahni knows too well the words that paint her as an object, no matter the language.

If you truly do care for all those who want to learn, it is no matter now if you accept Adahni into your realm or not. Only, help her to continue being free, free to learn and study as she likes.]

Response: Successfully redirected.

Addendum: The last I saw her, Adahni and her wife were busy studying Aetherial botany or something? It all went over my head but the two Proctors seemed happy enough.

Date: 3E 430

Prayer in full:

Dear Light of Knowledge,

I used your fancy name so I'm sure you get my question since this is very important. Alma is very sad I think since Ata was in your City when You left and we can't take a carriage to him. Alma doesn’t know I know she's sad, but I know she is because she looks like Kelina when he wakes me up at night because he is crying in his crib, but that's okay because I learned how to cast Magelight to make him not cry. How do I make Alma not cry?

Very sincerely, Kalini Dreth

Response: Unable to redirect prayer.