And lemme know your age (if you feel comfortable!), and when you got your first phone in the tags!
If these options are scuffed I'm sorry, I genuinely have no clue how many phones people are "supposed" to have had (hence the poll)
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I have been thinking on the nature of mdzs as a deliberately vague text that leaves many things up to interpretation, and how i've slowly come to understand "up for interpretation" less as "there is One True version of this story i must find" and not even as " Everyone has a different One True Version of this story inside their head be based on their interpretations and the differences don't make one wrong and the other right" but as "There is no One True Version. Even in my own subjective interpretation of the text multiple things can be true at once" specifically, in regard to Jin Guangyao and the many things which are left up in the air as to whether he did them or not, most notably killing his son.
There's evidence for this, but it's non conclusuve (jgy saying he killed him while also saying he killed Qin Su, who very much killed herself. The speculations on how he'd have killed him being sect leader yao just saying shit. ) it is, esentially, just up in the air enough that if you decisively fall on one side of the debate is probably says more about you and your general opinion of jgy than it does about the "true" events of canon.
I have, as a proud apologist, always fallen on the "he didn't kill him but felt in some way responsible for his death." Side but recently have become more okay with the interpretation that maybe he DID kill him, and that at the very least, that when he tells Qin Su their son "needed to die" he is being genuine. Which, once you look at it beyond. "Is jgy a poor lil meow meow who it is Okay to Like or an irredeemable baby murderer" becomes both INCREDIBLY tragic and deeply interesting. Because here is a man condemned for who his parents were and who wants nothing more than to live, saying that it is possible to be so cursed by your heritage that you need to die. There is no existence for you. The exact same thing that has been said to him.
Of course being born out of wedlock to a sex worker and being a product of incest are different things, but that begs the question: where is the line? What crimes of the father can mean death for the son? How cursed can you be until your existence is so incompatible with society it is you who needs to give? And if there is... where is it? Qin su clearly thought she was past it. Was his son really past it? Is he?
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Sakura's death is hitting the hardest so far. How she is asked if she wants to let go and live on this one time and when she answered "I have not...and never will" it just cues to her portrait shattering. You don't even see her dying like the others but she's made it pretty clear she wants to just die against HoC and make her point.
Also how, despite the other sims' best efforts, she knew about Rin's death for 50000 years and struggled with accepting she couldn't take revenge on anyone, because Aponia and everyone else aren't really guilty and they're just sims anyways... and eventually she just settles with taking down the new HoC and dying with her pride as if it's enough. Not to mention in the current era she's struggled with the PE HoC for 500 years until she found Theresa. Like... can't Sakura just catch a break?
When she was talking to Elysia and she said she couldn't face something like what happened before her real self died again and Elysia literally dies in front of her (or behind her... whatever) as *she is speaking*. I really can't with the Herrscher of Corruption resolve to ruin her life every time but it's getting ridiculous.
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so, fun story: the playwriting professor i had this past year, my senior year of college, and really liked -- the one i quoted in this r & g are dead post -- has written some plays themself (not a surprise, i'm sure).
i asked them a while back for a copy of the script of what is, as far as i know, their only full two-act play, to read, for funsies. they finally sent the most recent draft to me a couple of days ago, and i just sat down and read it.
i knew going in that it would be about two women in the modern day trying to discover what happened to the crew of a ship that disappeared in the artic in the 1840s, with one of the women being a young musician and the other being an older and more jaded scientist.
i did not know that in the half of the play set in the past, the two main guys would be a ros and guil duo. a love and rhetoric duo. in way over their heads, constantly getting on their crewmates' nerves and often wounding each other but, at the end of the day, reliant on each other and only each other. playing silly games to pass the time and keep their wits sharp. stuck on a boat, together, even.
and, spoilers, but, they don't get a happy ending in this one either. doomed by the narrative, as it were.
which is to say: i knew i was going to like it, but, man. i cried.
(and to be clear, the stuff with the two women in the present was great too. there are even parallels to draw between the two sets of protagonists, because that's good writing for you.)
the even crazier thing is, i looked up this professor online after my first class with them in fall 2022, which is when i not only originally found out about this play, but also learned that marian call had written music for it. marian call being an indie musician i learned about back in 2020, whose ep Swears! specifically hit hard for me back during my Fail Semester (don't ask).
what a fucking coincidence, right?
anyway, i listened to the song on her bandcamp that she wrote for the show after finishing the script, and let me tell you: that song already slapped (i've listened to it plenty since first finding it), but with the full context? fuck me.
the worst part of all this is that there is literally no one else i can talk about this play with. other than my professor, whom i shall be emailing shortly with my brain worms thoughts.
...though i suppose i've said enough in this post that other people could probably do some digging and at least find the song, if they wanted to.
...and i suppose if any mutuals (or fellow r&g heads whom i've previously interacted with) wanted to read it and asked me for it... as long as the file wouldn't be too big for discord... what would be the harm in that?
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