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deadmenandthedivine · 4 months

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DEAD MEN § the DIVINE

chapter fifteen: dragons have horns

Maetilda Targaryen, First of her Name, was supposed to be many things. What she became was entirely different.

table of contents

trigger warning!!! this fic contains many graphic topics and depictions. such as but not limited to: dead parents, abusive parents, toxic family systems, incest, medieval misogyny, forced marriage, threats of assault (sexual § physical), actual assault, imprisonment, kidnapping, murder, blood/gore, uxoricide, familicide, disassociation, thoughts of self harm and annihilation, PTSD and other neurodivergence. i will do my best to update as i go along, but please let me know if i have missed anything!

word count: 5207

“You will leave and never come back whole.”

Helaena always had a way of knowing too much. Too much for her own good. She saw everything coming. Even when they were children. Whether she saw it in her dreams or predicted it outright, she was no fool. She was something far greater. Someone who had been blessed by the Gods themselves. Only a fool would take her warnings for granted. Only a fool would deem her mad. Her words echoed in the princess’s ears into the afternoon.

“I shall see you once your family has left.”

It was as if Maetilda had been knocked off her feet. Her family had no plans to leave, not that she had been aware of. They had a wedding to plan. They needed to pick flowers, performers, foods, and more. There was still so much left to do. Of course, arrangements would be made for her belongings at Dragonstone and for the transportation of Shrykos, but neither of those would require her family to leave. Not any time soon. Such a small statement had thrown the princess into a complete tailspin. What did she mean? What had she been trying to tell her? Was that supposed to be a warning? And if so, what is she to do? At some point, the answerless questions began to make her head pound. Maetilda tried to keep herself distracted so that she would not continue to ruminate. To keep herself sane. First, she stopped at the library. Shamefully, she had yet to even attempt reading the books she had taken the other night. Pacing the shelves with Ser Eddrin in tow, she felt as if she could not pick up any others. Instead, she scanned the spines and gathered what she could from the covers she would stop to glance over. The library was much different during the day. Far less creepy and intimidating, making it easier to allow her imagination to run wild with each book she felt drawn to. Yet even so, the library soon grew boring. One could only stay entertained for so long without actually opening a book. Especially when a future of pain and misery loomed overhead. It seemed that no matter where her imagination ran, the path always led back to everything she was trying to avoid. After the library lost its shine, the princess wandered over to the Godswood. The day was more humid than it had been previously. It felt like the air clung to her skin. Ser Eddrin’s armor squeaked and clunked more than usual. Together, the princess and her knight willfully strode the muddy path that would only get muckier with more rain, which the heavy air suggested to be just around the corner. But when she glanced up toward the clouds, or lack thereof, the sky was clear and blue. Not a sign of rain in sight.

“There are no clouds.” The princess told her knight.

“Aye,” Ser Eddrin nodded, “No clouds.”

“Seems like there should be, does it not?”

“You want me to do somethin’ about that?” His voice was strained.

“No,” Maetilda shook her head with a ghost of a smile, “But you could do something about the humidity.”

Ser Eddrin’s face was blank and serious before he erupted into laughter. He gave her a pat on the back before his howling stopped quickly, too quickly. The abruptness of his silence was jarring, but the pat had been comforting. Even if it would have been considered unbecoming in good company. As if she were in need of comfort. The knight looked at her with wide eyes as he realized what he had done. Immediately, he bowed his head and began a long tirade of apologies. “Mi’lady, I don’t know what came over me. ‘Won’t ever happen again. You have my sincerest apologies. As your knight, it is my duty to—”

The princess tried to flash a comforting smile as she cut him off, “No harm was done. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”

“You are far too forgiving.”

“You have been by my side for as long as I can remember.”

“Proudly.” His nod was firm and absolute.

“And so, there is nothing to forgive.”

“Princess, it was not honorable of me to touch you. I will not make light of it. I am sorry it happened. There will not be a second time.”

All she could do was cross her arms. She felt on edge, and the weather was not helping. She felt like she had offended him. Riddled with guilt and uncertainty, the princess spent her journey recounting every instance in which she had asked too much of the people around her. Forcing Ser Wyllam to follow her around the castle in pursuit of Helaena at his old age. Expecting Ser Eddrin to dig her out of the hole that was the rune-carved stones. Forcing Ser Gunthor to stand outside in the cold while she slept. Her knight was undoubtedly tired of her. Even so, he did his job effortlessly. He managed to successfully distract her, whether she had asked him to or not. Instead of ruminating over Helaena and her vague warnings, Maetilda had become consumed by the appropriateness of her own behavior. And as soon as the silver honey haired royal arrived at the entrance of the Godswood, she was overwhelmed with even more turmoil. Reminded of her dream just the night before, locked in horror from the very thought, her legs refused to cross the threshold. What if the cloaked figure was hiding in there? What if it was waiting with the jagged rock in hand? Would Ser Eddrin be able to stop it? How would one fight a ghost? The uncertainty was a definitive deterrence. She did not want to find the answers to those questions. Instead, she scanned the courtyard for alternative options. Anything to get her out of there. Anything to get her away from her own mind.

The courtyards were fairly busy that day, as well as the browning gardens. Subjects and attendants littered and meandered about the grounds. Some dressed in fine silks and gowns, many more dressed in their working attire. The princess quickly decided to avoid the crowds. As she looked around, her eyes caught sight of the Dragonpit in the distance. Sat at the top of Rhaenys’s Hill, the structure domineered over the horizon. King Maegor had ordered its construction, and it showed. The infamously cruel king had never seen the masterpiece to completion, the construction having lasted into his cousin’s reign, but his essence oozed from every crevice. It was built to house every dragon left in the world and any dragon yet to be born. Large and imposing like a castle, yet was still too small for Balerion or Vhagar — who had never stopped growing. But could it hold Shrykos? Having hatched in Valyria just the same, she was smaller but not by much. A beast who was large and domineering, yet not enough to hold a candle to her late stepmother’s mount. While Shrykos was not there, it seemed that she would soon be visiting frequently. She would need to have a place of her own to stay, to nest. And it would be no one but the princess’s job to see to that standard. No one knew Shrykos like Maetilda. Almost immediately, the princess’s heart was set. There would be no other way to spend her afternoon. Tunnels that sprawled beneath the ground could lead her there discreetly. Or she could travel by horse and carriage. As the princess weighed her options, Ser Wyllam made his way over to them in order to relieve Ser Eddrin of his duties. They smiled and nodded to each other like old brothers.

“Mi’lady has been feeling adventurous today. Good luck!” The younger knight teased.

The older knight chuckled, “Our princess likes to keep us young!”

“Young knees and full pockets.” Eddrin joked.

“To think it was love for my mother that brought you into my service!” Maetilda gasped teasingly.

“It was,” the Tollet nodded with a smirk, “And it’s the money and the laps through castles that’s kept us.”

“You are feeling quite funny today!” The princess placed her hands on her hips as she returned a smug smile.

“Ser Eddrin, watch your tongue.”

“No,” The princess snapped, “His jokes are fine.”

“Do they not reveal his true feelings?” Ser Wyllam argued.

“Do you discredit me?” She challenged.

“Of course not, princess.”

“Then we shall allow Ser Eddrin to have his jokes, and I shall punish him when he has done something worth punishment.”

The younger knight gave the older one verbal directions as the three began to pace in the same path the princess and her betrothed had taken to welcome her sisters and their grandmother to the castle. Ser Eddrin excused himself soon after. Ser Wyllam and the princess continued on their way in a tense silence. The knight had been red faced ever since she had corrected him. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he glanced about with his head on a swivel. Strange feelings churned within her stomach as she thought about how Ser Eddrin did not trust him to not betray her to her father. Ser Wyllam had been quick to defend her, quick to attempt to knock her fellow knight down a peg. Perhaps too quick. And as quick as his mouth was, his pace was slower that day. While he led the way, he lagged behind. The princess kept her own strides smaller in order to not overwhelm him as they walked in silence down an exterior corridor lined with arches and columns. She studied the breathtaking architecture as they passed.

Without Ser Eddrin, it was harder to keep distracted. The Coldwater knight was no help in that regard. Instead, she had no choice but to take in the details of the tiles on the wall. Otherwise, she would go mad before she made it down the corridor. As she passed the stones, she tried to picture those who had built it. She tried to picture the attention to detail and the painstaking work. The sweat on their brows and determination in their eyes. She wondered if someone — or many someones — had dedicated their entire lives to building the keep and its walls. If it had taken more than a generation to build the Dragon Pit, certainly the Red Keep would have been the same. Masterfully built to house her family for generations to come. To stand until the world, itself, opened up and swallowed the great castle whole. She couldn’t help but wonder how her own castle compared. If the walls held the same intricacies and mastery of craft. If the grounds were anywhere near as expansive. She knew that if Shrykos were near, they would have already flown off to go see for themselves. They would have left together as soon as her betrothal was announced. Perhaps they would have never come back. Depending on how her people received her, of course.

A flash of silver and black springing out from behind a column pulled her out of her ruminations. But despite his abruptness, he smiled sweetly, “Good day, princess.”

“Good day, Prince Aemond,” She avoided looking at his face.

“Are you feeling better?”

“I feel fine. I never felt ill.��

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere.”

“You are not very good at lying.”

“You think that will make me tell you?”

“What has made you so upset with me?”

“Do not pretend like you do not know.”

“You cannot still be angry for that, can you?”

“I can, and I am. For that and much more.”

“Then why do you not tell me?”

“Because I cannot.”

“How can I fix anything if you do not tell me what is wrong?”

“Figure it out. Or ask Helaena.”

“Will you please at least tell me where you are going?”

The princess sighed as she finally conceded, “The Dragonpit.”

A devious look, filled with plots and pride, smeared across his features. His back straightened as his interest piqued. He turned so that he stood next to her and stuck his arm out for her to grab. Recoiling away from him, she feared she had said too much.

“May I join you?”

“I fear you shall follow me, even if I say no.”

He laughed, “You might as well compare me to a fly.”

“More like a vulture.”

“That’s a bit more morbid,” He frowned.

“But far more accurate.”

Nonetheless, the princess hesitantly took her betrothed’s arm and they continued walking in the direction of the training yards. Under her fingers, she could feel his arm tighten ever so slightly. Holding her to him as if she would run away at any second, which she very well might have. Their first steps were taken in silence. Ser Wyllam loudly followed behind them. It was a wonder how not one of her knights could be quiet.

“I apologize for my mother and myself yesterday. We have not been as sensitive as we should.”

“I have been nasty.” The princess replied softly, “I have not acted like the wife that you should want.”

“I have already forgiven you. I am willing to forget.”

“But I cannot forgive. I cannot forget.”

“Why?”

“Because you and your mother and your grandfather, the whole lot of you,” She seethed before stopping herself.

“What is it that we have done? What is it that you hold above my head?”

“I will not smile as you take what belongs to my mother. What belongs to me. What belongs to my family. It is not yours to take.”

“Listen to me, ñuha dōna, I am not marrying you for your castle. I do not know how else I may prove it to you.” (my sweet)

“Never step foot on my castle grounds.”

He stopped and turned to me. He was silent, mouth firmly shut, as his eye scanned my face four times over. After a long pause, he finally nodded, “Alright. I shall never step foot in Runestone. It’s yours.”

“Truly?” She gasped incredulously.

“I swear it. I shall live here, and you shall visit the Red Keep often. I will send you ravens every day. Once there are children, we can meet at the Gates of the Moon. Less of a distance for the little ones. I’ll take our sons hunting and our daughters riding. We’ll decide together who they marry.”

His words made her heart flutter, yet her mind continued to scream ‘no.’ She looked away from him, desperate to be clear of mind. But all she could picture was a future in which she ruled over Runestone and her husband stayed away out of respect. Where he refused to set foot in her castle, just because she told him to. Where he proclaimed her birthright to be hers, and only hers. The smile on her face was subconscious, but radiant and large, “I would like that very much.”

“Besides, you shall have to visit Helaena too. You won’t be able to hide from me.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“You are such a jester.” He chuckled.

She only smirked to herself, ready to carry out the challenge just to prove a point. A light hand moved to brush against her cheek before lifting her chin to face the prince again. Never in her life had she felt so bashful. It was like he knew exactly what to do to overwhelm her senses, and disarm the little guards in her head.

“In our youth, I always told myself that I was going to be a good man, a good husband, a good father. Better than my own. I shall make good on this promise. I shall make good on all my promises.”

“Good.”

“Allow me to start by escorting you to the Dragonpit, where we shall…”

“See to the preparation of Shrykos’s nest. For when I visit, of course.”

The two walked arm-in-arm with wide smiles across their faces. Like two children becoming friends for the first time. Their strides synced without them even looking down. The two did not notice the servants who passed by and whispered. Not a single one of them. They stared into each other’s eyes only briefly glancing forward to watch for a clear path.

“I am excited for us to finally ride together. The two oldest dragons left in the world will be quite the spectacle.” Aemond spoke proudly.

“Perhaps it is a good thing we both do not live at Runestone. The townspeople would starve trying to keep both our dragons fed.” Maetilda pointed out.

Aemond nodded and laughed, “You are right. A disaster for the rations.”

“When I see what the funds look like, perhaps I shall build you a tower to stay in. A hidden one some distance away from my keep. But you shall have to fly elsewhere to feed Vhagar. I have seen how much that lady eats.” She thought aloud.

“I would help fund such a tower.” He nodded enthusiastically.

“It’s settled then, you’ll pay for it.” She laughed, to which he only shrugged.

“You shall make a very fine leader.” He smirked, “You are already a skilled diplomat.”

“Do not ever forget.” She retorted.

“You are not someone that can easily slip my mind, princess.”

The giggle that left her was unlike any she had ever emitted. It was almost shameful, “Good.”

He paused for a moment before he spoke again, “If our children are nearly half as clever as you, I’ll be doomed.”

His words felt foreign, setting off all sorts of distress signals in her head. He spoke so casually of a future she had not thought she would have. Ever. She thought it was impossible. That such a future would take a miracle from the gods.

“Our children shall be raised in the Vale. May all seven kingdoms beware.”

Aemond let out the most excited laugh she had ever heard. There was practically a skip in his step. The princess bit her lip to keep back any more shameful giggles. In that moment, he reminded her of the boy she knew in her youth. The one she would only see from time to time on her occasional visits to the castle, who would always end up attached to her and Helaena as if he were their shadow. She had never been more excited for her future. While she was not paying attention, he placed a lingering kiss on her temple. It nearly caused her to trip. Just as she had when they had danced together the other evening.

“They’ll write about our family in all the history books. Perhaps we shall even be dedicated our own.” He smiled, “A chapter for each of us.”

“The Dragons of the Vale.”

“Yes, a perfect title.” Another lingering peck in the same place punctuated his sentence, as if her knight was not walking right behind them.

“You are shameless.” She laughed.

“I am elated. I have never been so happy.”

“Truly?”

“Truly.”

Maetilda laid her head against his arm in place of a hug. He had practically swept her off her feet with a single conversation. She did not question it. Not for a single moment. Together, they descended the stairs into the training yard. The same steps she had taken with her brothers only six days ago. Just as before, the steps were narrow, barely wide enough for one person. But Aemond held his betrothed tight, placing her body on the inside as he took the outer edge. His frame was almost like a shield, blocking both the breeze and the direct sunlight. His presence was such a small luxury, but it felt utterly priceless. She knew immediately that she would miss it the next time she went without it. Her knights never walked close enough to do the same. Her brothers never troubled themselves, saving such attention for ladies they actually fancied. And when her father walked next to her… well. Casting a glance over the yard, it was almost ironic how she immediately spotted said two brothers sparring in a corner together while her sisters watched. They were engrossed in their match. Using real swords and shields, not sparring ones. Jacaerys had the clear upperhand. Aemond’s entire body tensed as soon as they reached the bottom of the stairs. She looked up to find that he, too, had spotted the party. Just as the princess was putting the pieces together in her brain, the prince had already started bee-lining in the direction of the gates. Clearly determined to make it to their destination unnoticed. But of course, Maetilda’s sisters could not let that happen.

“Til! Where do you think you’re going? Maetilda!” Baela teasingly called after them.

The pair froze, the knight behind them halting too. The last thing the princess wanted was for her siblings to ruin their moment. Or worse. It also seemed that Aemond preferred to avoid them too. A reasonable reaction considering dinner the other night. But the twins had stayed out of the fighting. They did nothing but encourage her to find a good husband. Rhaena had even encouraged Aemond’s flirting just the other day. At least with the twins, there was nothing to fear. But Baela was on the fence. Luke and Jace were another story.

The eldest sister hesitated, “Nowhere.”

Aemond snickered as quietly as he possibly could, but the older twin caught on anyway. Baela smirked, “You too are up to something. I can tell.”

“That’s quite the accusation.” The princess crossed her arms.

“Should you not have a chaperone?” Baela argued smugly, swaying backwards and forwards in mock innocence.

“Would that mean we need one as well?” Rhaena pointed out as she caught up to them.

“Certainly!” Maetilda gasped in mock horror, “Where are your chaperones, sisters? What of your honor?!”

“Funny of you to bring up honor, sister. Your accomplice looks rather smug.” Baela crossed her arms too.

“What sort of insinuation is that?” The eldest gasped genuinely.

“Whatever it needs to be.” The older twin nearly boasted.

“You cannot avoid the question, Til. You have been caught.” Rhaena grinned more sweetly, but she was just as visibly hungry for gossip, “Where are you going?”

“I had only ran into Princess Maetilda in the lower courtyard and asked to accompany her.” Aemond butted in, “Took quite a bit of convincing, actually.”

The corner of Baela’s lip tilted upward. Proud of herself before she had even opened her mouth, “Did you really ask her? Or did you send your knight to ask her instead?”

Snorts and giggles filled the air as the twins fell into stitches. Maetilda’s jaw practically hit the ground as she turned to look at her red faced betrothed. She could feel his arm flex beneath her hand as she remained attached to him. The air felt uncomfortably heavy. Heavier than just humidity. Thick with unresolved tension. The older twin had only meant to tease, but her jokes were hitting far too close to home. Maetilda knew instinctively that she would be the only one to fix it, but was clueless as to how. They already hated each other. Baela said herself that she would never forgive him for claiming Vhagar. That entire night had burned so many bridges. But it was Aemond and Maetilda’s marriage that was supposed to rebuild them, if the King’s decree was to be honored.

“Baela!” The princess finally scolded.

“S’alright. I am sure your sister is quite tired from watching her intended play sticks.” Aemond chided.

“Aemond!”

“Play sticks!” Baela exclaimed incredulously.

“I am sure with practice he shall be ready for the lists eventually.” He laughed.

“My intended—“ Baela started to sneer.

“What about me?” Jacaerys made his presence known as he approached, Lucerys flanking his side.

“Sticks or no sticks! Jace shall inherit far more than Aemond ever will.” Baela spat.

“The whole Seven Kingdoms!” Luke proudly clarified.

“And yet, I swing a sharper sword and claim a bigger dragon.” Aemond gloated nonchalantly, “How shall you defend your holdings, nephew?”

“You stole her! You stole Vhagar.” Baela corrected, “Don’t lie!”

“Baela, put it to rest!” Maetilda tried.

“One cannot simply steal a dragon,” Aemond barked, “Get that through your thick head.”

“Aemond!” Maetilda gasped.

“You will not talk to her like that.” Jacaerys growled.

“Then mind how your sheep-biting scut speaks!” Aemond spat.

“She is not a dog! I will not muzzle her. Do you question my lady’s virtue?” Jace snapped.

“Clearly after dinner the other evening, it is you that needs muzzling.” Luke added.

“I question nothing of the sort,” Aemond pivoted to stare at the younger Velaryon, “However I do question, why your ladies must suffer.”

“Suffer?” Rhaena searched for clarification.

“To be stuck at the beck and call of two soft bellied cowards until death, I could not imagine a worse fate.”

Luke crossed his arms with pride, “Call us what you wish. Closer to the throne than you’ll ever be.”

“It is Prince Aemond who is the coward.” Baela glared at him like she wanted to spit fire, “He is the one who hides his face.”

The princess stood with her jaw wide open, completely powerless to stop anything. The silver haired prince turned to the older twin, “I see that grandmother of yours has failed to teach you basic decency. There won’t be any kingdom for your husband to inherit with your mouth at his side.”

“I know jealousy when I see it. What do you have to your name, Aemond?” Jace reversed his tactic.

“Don’t they call you One Eye now?” Luke jabbed.

“Don’t they call you bastard?”

The training yard moved in slow motion as the royal bunch acted all at once. Jace and Luke sprung toward their uncle, fists first. Aemond pushed Maetilda behind him, shielding her from any stray swings. Baela came around the side and got her own shoves in. Rhaena tried in vain to grab at her older sister’s dress, her betrothed’s arm, crying for the heir to stop. Punches, claws, and kicks. The brothers ganged up on their uncle who stood his ground as long as possible before Baela launched a sneak attack from the other side. Ser Wyllam immediately bolted, heading straight in the direction of more guards. Blinking rapidly, it took the princess a few moments to sync up with the world around her again. Her eyes zipped between each of their faces. The three boys were close to the ground as they flailed and swung. Ready to pounce again, Baela crouched to gain momentum. She was aimed directly at Aemond’s back. Maetilda’s feet moved of their own accord as they frantically carried her straight into her younger sister, effectively tackling the future heir’s betrothed. Baela did not hesitate to start yanking at her older sister’s hair, trying to pull the princess off by force. The girls rolled in the dirt, soiling their dresses, until they collided with legs.

Bodies toppled over bodies. Grunts and yelps and growls. Rhaena’s voice of opposition was a distant buzz. A knee collided with the princess’s head as she used all of her strength to pin Baela down. Fingernails scratched like cat claws, stinging all the same. Both girls tried not to flinch so as to not let the other gain any more of an upperhand. When Maetilda stared down into the older twin’s eyes, all she could see was blind rage. A completely unrecognizable look, one never before scrunched onto her face. The princess did not want to hurt her, but she did not know how to stop her, how to subdue her. Frustrated tears threatened to blur Maetilda’s vision in the struggle. Fighting to lasso Baela’s wrists into her hold, the princess couldn’t seem to feel her hands. They instinctively snapped, jerked, tightened, and more to meet each of the younger’s attempts at freedom.

“You shall never hear me silent! And you shall never see a day of peace! I shall rot in each of the seven hells before you ever! EVER! breathe a sigh of relief!” Baela bent over backwards to shoot daggers at Aemond with her eyes, “That is a promise!”

“If I must lose an eye, what allows you to keep your tongue?!”

CRACK. Maetilda’s head flicked sideways to see nothing but blood. Jacaerys’s hands went to cradle his nose as Luke and Aemond only continued their brawl. Except the younger was much too small to take his uncle on by himself and was quickly thrown to the ground. Jacaerys tackled Aemond to keep him off of his brother. They rolled similarly to the sisters and were soon oblique to each other. Blood continued to pour out of Jace’s nose and splattered everywhere. While Maetilda was distracted, Baela gained the upper hand. They rolled again until the younger sister sat on top.

“Seize them!”

Armor clanked all around them. But not that of Maetilda’s three nights. It was a smoother, lighter sound. One that could only belong to the white armor of the Kingsguard. A tighter grip weaved around the roots of her hair, clamping down before the hands of knights tried to pull the noble sisters apart by the arms. Baela did not let go.

“I don’t care what grandmother says! I won’t hear it!” The older twin bellowed resolutely.

“Baela, let go!” Rhaena cried.

“You are such a child!” Maetilda sneered.

The knights began to pull harder, but Baela’s grip did not budge. She was a dragon rider after all. “You attacked me first!”

“Because you were piling onto Aemond like a dog!”

“Were you listening to the words leaving his mouth?!”

“Yes, and I heard the ones leaving yours too!”

“Who’s side are you on?”

With one final yank, two knights holding onto each girl, Prince Daemon’s daughters were successfully pulled apart. The usual cascading waves and curls had shifted to the left in a mess of tangles and frizz. The formerly fine combed front bumped up unevenly. The various braids and smaller details lost in the rats’ nest. Plucking loose strands of silver honey hair out from in between her fingers, Baela upturned her nose as she turned her back and marched her way over to Jacaerys. Blood continued to drip steadily out of his nose. The cartilage in his bridge looked broken. He suddenly looked older and angrier, more like a man. The same scarlet red that poured out of his nostrils had puddled everywhere. That which was smeared across his face had already started to dry, clumping hard atop his skin. Lowering their heads so as to not be heard, Baela and Jace whispered to each other. Rushed, impassioned whispers. Spit flying from their mouths despite the lack of volume. Just as quickly as they started, they stopped.

Almost completely in unison, all four of Maetilda’s siblings turned to look at her. Disgust, betrayal, confusion, hurt, shock. A different emotional concoction on each face. She felt her heart shatter, heat rising in her cheeks. When she went to take a step toward them, they all stepped back. Even Rhaena, who lightly shook her head. What had she done? For the gods’ sake, what had she done?

A/N: another apology for taking so long with this chapter! thank you for sticking with me as i write this. writing is a big passion of mine, and i’m hoping that if i can finish a fanfiction then i can one-day write a novel! maybe even a series! i’ve tried to write this here lady *slaps hood* with all sorts of parallels and shit. i think this chapter slaps you on the face with that the most. constructive criticism is always welcomed!

also, let me know if you still want tagged!! i wasn’t sure since it had been so long and don’t want to be annoying.

xoxo messy

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aylacavebear · 3 months

Text

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine

Word Count: 5207

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. May have future SMUT 18+!

Warnings: Angst, Fluff.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 27

She woke around three in the morning, feeling that strange feeling again, only now, it was closer than before. Maria carefully slipped out of bed, making sure not to disturb Dean as he was sleeping peacefully.

She used her powers to dress in warm clothes and created a note that she had gone into town to check something out, leaving it on the night table. She was working on keeping her word, hating how many times she had broken it while on her path of revenge.

It was chilly that November morning, a week from Thanksgiving. The streets were empty, and only a few businesses were open, the 24-hour ones. She had made herself invisible as she teleported to the area, focusing on that weird feeling, getting only as close as she felt comfortable. It wasn’t bad or good; it was just odd. Maria looked around the area but still didn’t see anything unusual. She spent an hour walking around the town, following that feeling. She finally gave up, attempting to find it sometime around five before she teleported back to the bunker.

She was frustrated, more with herself than anything. The ability to sense someone or something was one she hadn’t practiced very often since she lived with people, and it was different. She also hadn’t gone out on a hunt since finding the bunker. Maria switched her clothes to what she typically wore around the bunker: jeans, a t-shirt, a flannel over it unbuttoned, and her socks and shoes. She silently sighed as she created a cup of coffee. That weird feeling wasn’t going away; she knew that whatever it was coming from was close in Lebanon. Then there was that other feeling. It was far away, and it brought her a sense of worry.

“You okay, Sweetheart,” Dean asked her groggily, sitting beside her and rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah,” she mumbled.

He furrowed his brow as he sat beside her, putting his hand on her back, “That doesn’t sound okay.”

She sighed and looked at the black liquid in her cup, “I’ve been feeling something weird in town. I went looking for it this morning, but I couldn’t find it,” she explained to him, somewhat quietly, “Then I felt something else, but it’s further away, and it gives me an uneasy feeling.”

Dean had to think about her words, unsure what to say. So, he just leaned over and cuddled up to her, comforting her the only way he knew how, “I’m here,” his words soft.

Maria smiled a little and created a cup of coffee for him before she leaned back against him. She did enjoy these moments with him. Their rivalry had almost felt like an entirely different life now with as close as they were to each other.

“I’ll have to go look for both of those things. I’m just not sure how to find them yet,” she told him quietly.

He sighed, fearing she was going to say that, “You don’t have to go alone,” he offered.

She knew he would say that, which made her smile a little, “I don’t want to put you in more danger. I’m not really worried about the feeling that is coming from nearby. Whatever that is, it’s more curious than anything. It’s the one that’s further away; that one is the problematic one,” she explained.

“We could always go walk around town together,” he suggested, “Maybe after some breakfast?”

Maria shifted in her seat so that she was facing him now, a small smile on her lips, “What are you hungry for?” she asked, her smile turning into a warm smirk.

“Anything with bacon,” he smirked back before he kissed her softly.

“Mmmm,” she hummed against his lips, breakfast appearing on the table in front of them.

They looked at each other with a loving gaze before they began eating. Dean turned to her, shoving half a slice of bacon in his mouth, smiling happily, “You know, you’re spoiling me, right?”

She giggled, “Well, you spoil me in other ways, so it’s okay,” she replied, smirking with an insinuating gaze at him for a moment.

He blushed a little before they went back to their breakfast. The quiet between them was welcome, both enjoying the moment's intimacy with it just being the two of them. Dean got himself dressed after breakfast while Maria used her powers to clean up and leave a note for the others.

“We’re going to be invisible, so don’t freak out,” she explained to Dean as she took his hand.

“Alright,” he replied, his expression contorted slightly as he thought about that.

The way his brows furrowed with his thoughts made her giggle as she took his hand, teleporting the two of them into town. Dean looked as though the “flight” had been a little rough on him, but he steadied himself on his feet, still holding her hand. She’d teleported them to the center where she felt that feeling.

“It’s somewhere around here, within a two-mile radius. I just can’t pinpoint it any closer,” she explained to him.

“Do you even know what we’re looking for?” he asked.

“Honestly, no clue,” she replied, sighing, looking around the area.

“That’s gonna make things harder,” he stated, glancing across the mildly busy street, not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

The two began walking down the sidewalk, making sure not to bump into anyone. They may have been invisible, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t interact with people, although it would have been weird for the people. It was early morning, so shops were opening, a few cars were on the road, and a few people meandered down the sidewalk. The sun was barely over the horizon, shining its warming rays around the town.

“I haven’t seen anything weird,” Dean stated as they rounded another corner to head down yet another street, this one lined with small family businesses.

“Me neither,” she sighed.

It’d been two hours already. They enjoyed spending the time together, it just being the two of them, but they were both getting a bit frustrated that nothing stood out. They looked at the shops through the front windows as they walked past them, glancing across the street occasionally. Suddenly, though, Maria stopped, looking somewhat puzzled yet curious as she looked across the street at one of the buildings. Dean followed her gaze but didn’t see anything weird, just a couple of people who were walking down the sidewalk.

“What is it, Sweetheart?” he asked as he looked back at her.

“That man over there, in the trenchcoat… he’s… kind of…” she trailed off, still puzzled, “... glowing.”

Dean looked back over where her eyes were fixated, still not seeing what she was, “Uh… there isn’t anyone there,” he told her, worried.

She looked over at Dean before looking back at the man across the street, “I’m gonna go talk to him,” she told Dean.

He felt her attempt to let go of his hand, but he held on and kept pace with her as she crossed the street. She made them both visible while none of the people walking by noticed. However, the man in the trenchcoat looked over at them with a mildly curious expression. There was a silence between the three for a few moments. Dean still couldn’t see the man Maria had described, but he wasn’t about to leave her alone. “You can see me,” the man said to her in a slightly gruff, monotone voice.

“Yes. Are you an angel?” she asked him, tilting her head slightly in curiosity.

“Yes,” he replied, a bit confused, “How do you know that?”

She determined that gruff monotone was just how he usually spoke, “I can see your glow, your grace,” she explained, still being soft yet curious, “Why are you here?”

He wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t human; he could tell that much. He could also see that she had a slight glow, but it was very different than any angel he’d ever interacted with. “I’m Castiel. I came to investigate why there hasn’t been any crime in the area in over a week,” he explained to her.

“Nice to meet you, Castiel. I’m Maria, and this is Dean,” she replied, nodding slightly toward Dean with her head, “He can’t see you till you let him though.”

“Oh, yes. I forgot about that,” Castiel said, slightly apologetically, as he made himself visible, and Dean almost jumped.

“Dean, this is Castiel. He’s an angel,” Maria explained, and Dean was utterly puzzled.

It was one thing to believe in demons. He’d dealt with them before, numerous times. Angels though, hell, he hadn’t even heard of them till Maria had brought up Zamariel and that book she was always reading from.

“Hello, Dean, Maria,” Castiel told them, smiling a little.

“Uh… nice to meet you?” Dean replied, still not entirely sure what to think. He leaned closer to whisper in Maria’s ear, “I thought you were trying to hide from the angels?”

She nudged him gently, “He’s different. I don’t know how to explain it yet,” she replied to Dean before giving Castiel her attention, “I was wondering, have you always been curious about things?” she asked, raising her eyebrow. Zamariel’s words still running through her mind: he’s a curious angel, always has been, and will be an ally.

Castiel tilted his head a bit, “That is an odd question, but yes, I have. Why do you ask?”

Maria smiled happily, knowing he had been the angel Zamariel had mentioned. It was a feeling more than anything else, “Someone dear to my heart told me about you. Would you like to come back with us, talk more?” she asked him.

Dean was very apprehensive, “Uh, what do you think the others are gonna say if you just zap us back there with an angel?” he asked her, studying the angel in front of him.

“If I intended to hurt you, I could have done that already,” Castiel stated.

She smirked a bit, “I should let you know, that if you agree to go with us, you won’t be able to use your powers there,” she explained to him.

Castiel raised an eyebrow at her statement, “Alright. If there is warding, I cannot enter though.”

“It’s not like that. I can explain further if you come with us,” she replied casually, making the angel more curious. She turned to Dean, “I’m going to send you back, so you can give the others a heads up. I’ll show up with Castiel in about ten minutes. That should give you enough time,” she explained.

“I really don’t want to leave you alone, especially with an angel,” Dean told her, partially glaring at the angel.

She smiled softly at him and caressed his cheek, “I’ll be fine. He can’t hurt me.”

Dean inhaled deeply through his nose and clenched jaw as he looked from her to the angel. His glare was a warning to him, which Maria found a bit endearing. Dean, a human, threatening an angel. It would have made her laugh a little had Dean not been there and been so serious. She kissed him on the cheek, and he disappeared, reappearing in the bunker’s war room.

“I’ll never get used to that,” he mumbled as he set out to warn the others.

Maria looked back at Castiel, who was now looking at her in complete awe and curiosity, “How did you do that? You aren’t a witch,” he asked.

“I told you, I’ll explain it all in a bit. The last thing I need is prying eyes,” she replied.

Castiel’s curiosity only deepened the more she spoke but didn’t reveal anything. He also ended up smiling due to his curiosity. She was fascinating. He couldn’t figure out how she had a mild glow, similar to an angel, kind of like an archangel, sort of like a Nephilim, but different than all of them. Her glow was more blue than white, although still light, yet dim.

“Are you ready?” she finally asked him.

“Yes,” he replied.

She set her hand on his shoulder, and the two appeared in the middle of the war room. Castiel had seen her wings. What she had considered teleporting was actually flying, and she was quite adept at it.

“You’re quite good at that. How long have you been flying?” he asked her, his curiosity growing.

Maria tilted her head slightly, puzzled, “Flying? I just teleported us,” forgetting how Zamariel had described it to her.

Castiel smiled, almost like he would laugh, “No. It’s flying. You have wings, as do I.” he explained to her.

This got everyone’s attention. Maria made a mental note to talk to Zamariel about it that night, deciding to change the subject. She turned to the others and introduced them to Castiel and him to them. She also warned them that, yes, he was armed, but so were they, so it was somewhat fair. They had numerous questions for Castiel, but Maria managed to calm them, as she had promised him more information.

“Castiel, I can’t tell you everything. I don’t know fully if I can trust you yet,” she began, choosing her words carefully, “I know that you’re curious about many things and that you are worried that somehow you’ll end up deflecting from heaven because of your curiosity. Before I continue, though, I need to know, what’s going on that has gotten you to this point?” she asked, needing this information from him first.

The others managed to stay quiet, not fully understanding everything, as Maria hadn’t told them much about the times she’d interacted with Zamariel. Castiel thought about what she had said. His expression didn’t change much, though, so it was hard for Maria to read him without being intrusive, and she wanted to give the angel a chance.

He sighed a little, “It’s clear that you are not an angel, or you would know, although I am still unsure as to what you are. A prophet has been writing the word of God. However, he seems to be having… issues with his writing. Like things keep changing,” Castiel explained, then paused, formulating his thoughts again. “He has published some of his writings. The problem is that now, most of them will never happen. I am questioning the orders from heaven now. Prophets don’t make mistakes.”

Maria smiled a little at his honesty, “Thank you, Castiel, for being so honest with us. Out of curiosity, what was the theme of where the words of this prophet were going?” she asked.

Castiel looked around the room and sighed before looking back at Maria, “Jess was supposed to die the weekend Dean and Sam went after the woman in white. Mary is supposed to be in heaven, with John joining her in a year or so. Sam and Dean were supposed to go on several cases that would have made his demonic powers from Azazel activate, giving him premonitions,” he explained. However, he hadn’t answered her question.

“I appreciate all of that, but you dodged my question,” she stated, still being patient with the angel.

“Dean was supposed to go to hell due to a demon deal that only gave him a year to live. It was to bring his brother back to life, who had died at the hands of another one of Azazel’s chosen. It is rumored, in heaven, that Dean was to break the first seal, which would have allowed Lilith to break the other seals, eventually bringing on the apocalypse,” Castiel told her, deciding on the truth rather than trying to lie to her or the others, “Although, I was told that we, the angels, needed to try and stop that from happening, the breaking of the seals by helping Dean and Sam.”

Maria’s back was to the others, so she didn’t see their expressions, “I need to meet this prophet, but not today. I have to speak with someone tonight first.”

“I understand,” Castiel replied.

The others had tons of questions for him, and Maria could tell, “How do you feel about being bombarded with questions?” she asked him, smirking a little.

“I do not mind getting asked questions as long as there won’t be any bombs involved,” he replied in that same gruff, monotone way, which made her giggle a little.

“There won’t be any bombs,” she managed to reply, stifling her laughter. She turned to face the others, “Be nice, but he’s all yours, at least for your questions.”

It took them a few minutes, but they all finally found a calm rhythm to ask him questions, take turns, and wait for his reply. They sat around the table for the remainder of the day. Maria sat back and let the others ask their questions. She’d already asked him the ones she’d needed to earlier. She created food and even drinks for them when they were hungry. They all relaxed the more the conversation continued. Castiel found them as interesting as they found him, having questions of his own. He didn’t understand humans or their emotions, finding them strange yet fascinating, and humor was a complete mystery to him.

After dinner, Maria finally looked over at him, “You can stay here tonight, or I can send you back to the town to wait until morning. I’ll leave that up to you. I know you don’t sleep and that you won’t hurt any of us.”

Castiel thought for a moment, “I would like to stay, look around while you all are sleeping, if that is okay,” he replied.

Maria looked over at the others, who nodded, “Alright then. Just remember, you can’t use your powers here.” she told him.

The others trusted Maria, so when she extended her trust to Castiel, they did as well. It wasn’t complete trust. They still had their reservations, as was to be expected. They were hunters, and this was the first angel they’d met, aside from when Bobby had met Zamariel all those years ago. They had also followed Maria’s lead, not giving away any information that had been shared with her in her dreams or anything about Zamariel herself.

Maria used her powers to seal the bunker door so he couldn’t just walk out. She mostly trusted him. She knew it would take time for him to understand certain things, and she’d need to meet this so-called prophet. There was something that she felt when Castiel talked about him that made a knot in her stomach, and she didn’t like it. It wasn’t the uneasy feeling she’d gotten when Jess and her dad had been in trouble. This was different, and she was determined to get to the bottom of it. When she and Dean retired to his room, she explained that she needed to see “her” that night, to which he nodded.

“I see you found him,” Mari’s voice came from behind her, standing at the lake again. Maria smiled and turned to her, “He kind of reminds me of a little kid in some ways,” she chuckled, remembering his lack of understanding humor. Mari chuckled as well, “He doesn’t understand many things. Angels don’t understand people. They were created to watch over and protect humanity and all of God’s creations. Somewhere along the way, they forgot that. They follow orders, mostly,” she explained. “So, Castiel is different than the other angels, in a lot of ways?” she asked. “Yes. It’s more than just his curiosity. He’s questioning his faith in God and Heaven. That’s a good thing, though. Things are a mess up there,” Mari sighed. Maria went and sat on her favorite rock, cross-legged, thinking. Mari joined her, tilting her head as she looked over at her. She could tell her daughter had questions but would wait patiently while she worked them through in her mind. “Why hasn’t there been any crime in the town?” she finally asked. Mari smiled softly, “Your peace is spreading to others,” she told her. Maria scrunched up her face, confused as she looked over at her, “Huh?”

She giggled, “You found peace. You’re a celestial creature. A very powerful one. That peace you feel, it’s spreading out from you. When others feel it, that peace, it calms them. They still have free will to choose whatever they want. However, if you had the choice between peace and being at unrest, which would you choose? Most people would choose peace as well,” she explained, feeling so proud of her. Maria thought about how things had changed just around the bunker with everyone. None of them had been fighting or arguing. They didn’t agree on everything, though. It was like they had a newfound respect for each other’s differing opinions. “I hadn’t realized,” Maria replied, not entirely sure how to feel about it, “Won’t that make me a bigger target, though?” she asked, worried a little. Mari chuckled a little, “It might, but with you at the epicenter of that peace, anyone or anything that enters will feel it as well, and they will either run away quickly due to the discomfort or…” she paused, proud of her daughter again, “... they’ll want to keep that feeling.” That made Maria smile a little. Something else she hadn’t thought about was that she hadn’t been training her powers to kill things or hunt them down. She’d been focusing on her family, on Dean, on love. “Castiel said I had wings. I uh, I don’t understand that because I can’t see them,” Maria told Mari, still confused on that particular topic.

“Yes, you have wings. You have to make your glow a little brighter before you can show them to anyone, or where you could see them yourself. When you let your glow radiate out of you a bit, your wings show up as more of a silhouette, a shadow,” Mari explained. Maria thought about that, “So, how do I make my glow brighter?” she asked curiously. Mari thought for a moment, attempting to figure out how to explain that to her. She stood in front of her, “I’m not entirely sure how to explain it, so I’ll do it so you can see what it looks like.” Maria nodded and watched her. A blue light emanated from Mari’s chest, as well as her eyes. The light was bright but not overly bright, and Maria could see the shadow of her wings behind her. So, Maria stood up, thought about what she’d seen, and then did it herself. “Yes, just like that. Our light, at full power, is deadly to humans. So just remember that,” Mari told her.

She felt fairly proud of herself, although she wished there was another way she could see her own wings, and decided to figure that out another time, “I want to go meet the so-called prophet but wanted your thoughts on that,” she finally asked her. Mari took a slow, deep breath, “You’re strong enough, both emotionally and with your powers. How you approach the situation, though, will determine the outcome. I also don’t recommend taking too many of your family with you. You can take Castiel, and I recommend it. He needs to hear what will be talked about and see what is going to happen. It will help,” she explained softly. Mari was only slightly worried about her, but that came with being a parent. She’d seen many different outcomes of many different timelines. She couldn’t tell Maria what to do, only give her small tidbits of information to guide her on her journey. Ultimately, the decision would be up to Maria. Maria was mulling over what Mari had said. It would be a difficult decision of who to take and who not to, deciding she would need more time to think about it. According to what Castiel had said, she knew that Jess and Mary were entirely off the list, as was John since all three of them were supposed to be dead. That left Sam, Dean, and her Uncle, and she didn’t want to put any of them in harm’s way.

In the waking world, Castiel had found his way into her room, exploring the bunker. He picked up the book on her night table. Such a curious Angel he was. Something about the picture on the cover drew him to it. However, when he opened it, all the pages were blank.

“I may take a little more time, before I go see the prophet. At least Castiel knows who he is and where he is. Plus, I’ll need to somehow convince the others that they won’t be coming with me. I can always share my memories with them afterward,” Maria told her, somewhat quietly, as if she was still deep in thought. “That’s very responsible of you,” Mari replied with a soft, proud smile, then reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I know I haven’t said it, but I’m really proud of the woman you’ve grown into.” Maria was looking at the ground but smiled softly, “Thanks… mom…” she replied. That nearly brought tears to Mari’s eyes. It was the first time she’d called her that since they’d begun meeting like this. “I wanted to ask, is this place,” Maria began, gesturing to the lake, forest, and mountains, “is it real, like a place in the waking world?” she asked, looking over at Mari. “Yes. It is a real place. Perhaps one day we’ll meet in the waking world, when this is all over,” Mari told her, barely keeping her voice from shaking with how overjoyed she was.

That made Maria smile happily, “Then, when everything is over, I’ll look for it. It would be nice for Dean to get to meet you, and for you to meet the rest of my family.” Maria figured that the place in her dream was where Zamariel had been hiding in the waking world. “That would be nice,” Mari replied softly. She couldn’t tell her that she’d been watching her throughout her life or that she knew everyone, “Time to wake up, little one.”

“That is so not fair…” Maria mumbled into the darkness of Dean’s room as her eyes opened.

Dean was stirring beside her, and the way he sleepily pulled her to him made her giggle quietly. He lazily kissed her cheek, smiling against her skin. The two shared an intimate morning together. They loved the feeling of waking up in each other’s arms. For Maria, though, it helped after her dreams with Zamariel, especially when she’d get sent back before she could ask more questions. Zamariel gave her tidbits but never straightforward answers.

“How’d it go?” Dean asked her afterward, snuggling up to her again.

“She was cryptic, like always,” she replied, but Dean could tell there was more to it than that.

“What else? What is it you don’t want to tell me?” he asked, gently pushing.

Maria sighed and averted his gaze, “When I go meet the prophet, I can only take Castiel. The rest of you need to stay here,” she replied quietly.

Dean’s emotions seemed to crash together: fear, anxiety, worry, but he kept his stoic expression as he gently brought her gaze back to his, “I wish you’d take me with you. You don’t have to do this alone,” he told her, attempting to keep his tone calm and his emotions out of it.

She looked into his eyes, gentry caressing his cheek, “I need to keep you safe. This is how I do that. Please… let me protect you this time,” she replied softly, fighting back tears. She could tell how much this affected him, unable to go with her.

“Then, I’ll try not to pace a rut in the floor, waiting for you to come back,” he told her.

It was the best he could give her. He’d end up drinking the entire time, and he knew it, doing nothing but worrying about her. They finally crawled out of bed, dressed, and headed out to the library, joining the others. Castiel was sitting at one of the tables, and more questions were being asked of the angel. Maria found the site heartwarming. It almost felt as though Castiel was already a part of the family. The others were smiling, as was Castiel.

Maria created breakfast for them about a half hour later before she looked over at Castiel, finally deciding she was going to meet this so-called prophet, “I’d like for you to take me to this prophet. I need to meet him, talk to him,” she told him.

“You’re not going alone, kid,” Bobby told her, sounding adamant.

“I’m sorry, Uncle Bobby, but I will be going alone. The rest of you need to stay here. It’s how you all stay safe,” she told him, firm in her decision.

“Balls,” Bobby grumbled. He knew at this point there was no arguing with her.

Castiel watched the interaction before looking back at Maria, “We can go whenever you are ready,” he told her, and it was as if his tone had softened some since his interactions with the others.

“After breakfast,” she replied, “And, thank you.”

They all knew that if Dean hadn’t protested, there was no use in trying to change her mind. If anyone would have said something, they knew he’d have been the first, so they figured she’d already spoken with him. Dean just clenched his jaw, hating this idea. Breakfast was finished in silence, with no one knowing what to say. Maria cleaned up before heading to her room. Normally, she would just use her powers to change into something else, but this morning, she was dragging her feet a little. Mari’s words were still playing around in her mind, as well as Castiel’s. She wasn’t dressing up, just her usual jeans, t-shirt, and an unbuttoned flannel over it. She even left her hair down. Dean opened her door and closed it before he approached her.

“I really wish I was going with you,” he told her quietly, suppressing everything he felt.

Maria put her arms around him and leaned her head against his shoulder, “I know. I just can’t risk your safety on this,” she replied, just as quietly.

He held her close and didn’t want to let her go. She squeezed a little tighter, pressing her body against his in a loving way. Neither of them had spoken those three little words, but they felt it through each other's actions. Dean returned the squeeze. He didn’t want to feel like he was saying goodbye, but he couldn’t help but worry.

She took a deep breath before pulling away, although Dean kissed her lovingly before they returned to the library where Castiel was waiting for her. Maria stood beside Castiel, smiling softly as she looked up at him.

“Ready?” she asked.

He nodded, so she put her hand on his shoulder, flying the two of them to the town. She didn’t know where this prophet was, and she’d blocked Castiel from using his powers in the bunker. So, this was how it had to be done.

“Ready?” he asked her, smiling a little. She giggled and nodded.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 28 - Kripke's Hallow

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