#5th palace

[virtualfutaba-cloud]

Haru Okumura

[world-of-wales]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUIS ♡

All the official portraits of Prince Louis Arthur Charles released on the occasion of his birthdays over the years | 2019, 2020, 2021 2022, 2023

[leqclerc]

Happy birthday, Bean 🥺❤️🥰✨🎀🌷🪻🎂

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

[dopescissorscashwagon]

King Charles III meets with Britain's incoming Prime Minister Keir Starmer during an audience at Buckingham Palace in London on July 5, 2024, a day after Britain held a general election. Starmer became Britain's new prime minister, as his centre-left opposition Labour party swept to a landslide general election victory, ending 14 years of right-wing Conservative rule.

[real-life-cloud]

why is the okumura fight Like That ?

[quatermasspitt]

"Illuminations by C. T. Brock and Co, Sutton, Surrey, England."

Advertising postcard for Brock’s Crystal Palace Fireworks and Illuminations, postmarked 1906. Advertising Fireworks for Fifth of November.

[cinghialefedele]

you still sick?

He's sleeping on the cool marble floor of a hallway, it feels good on his feverish skin. Snoring, he's unable to answer the question, but it's safe to assume he's very much still ill.

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where Shen Yuan is transmigrated into the beast taming peak's head disciple that looks absolutely nothing like him (obviously not named sy but for clarity sake I'm saying Shen Yuan) when Shen Jiu comes in. He's barely paying attention to the beef this scrawny teenager has with him because he's too focused on hating his reflection because his body feels wrong and his mind is telling him his body is wrong (body dysphoria)

He just avoids mirrors and learns how to get ready without looking at his reflection. He's in a constant state of panic because his body feels wrong and he knows it's wrong.

And through accidents and pure vibes he gets Shen Jiu to somewhat like him. He doesn't even mean it, he was just was a decent person. They hang out with each other sometimes and eventually Shen Yuan gets close enough to Shen Jiu that he's allowed to help him cultivate and fix his meridians.

But the longer he's in the body, the more his soul rejects it. The meridians don't align with him, the limbs are too off, he's the wrong size, his hands are wrong, everything feeling wrong, even his eyes are wrong. And his soul knows it's wrong and is rejecting it.

Eventually it's Shen Jiu having to help him cultivate instead of the other way around. Shen Yuan is forced to step down as head disciple and there's even talk about him getting kicked out of the sect since he can't even properly cultivate anymore.

Their shishu from Qian Cao even starts to check on him and only finds bizarre things that have only been written about. That the soul was suddenly misaligned and it's trying to pass qi through meridians that doesn't fit it. Everyone points to the violent qi deviation he apparently had a while before.

Shen Yuan just lets it go in one ear and out the other. He knows why his soul is rejecting the body, but he says nothing. Suddenly everyone is treating him like glass and he's barely allowed to do anything "dangerous".

Shen Jiu doesn't baby him that much, but he's clearly worried. And during one of the times he's trying to help Shen Yuan with his cultivation, he notices something strange. He notices that the soul isn't misaligned, it just doesn't match. It's a barely noticable offset, but he did catch it.

Once Shen Yuan leaves, he immediately goes to Qing Jing's library to figure out any possibilities. The best thing he could figure out is possession. Supposedly, the changes started after Shen Yuan had his qi deviation, which is likely when the possession occurred, but that happened before Shen Jiu entered the sect so as far as he's concerned this Shen Yuan was his Shen Yuan. He couldn't mourn a man he never knew.

While Shen Jiu was doing research, Shen Yuan went to Shang Qinghua to ask about the sun moon dew mushroom. Shang Qinghua hesitantly makes a request for an off peak exploration with Shen Yuan. He lied a bit (a lot) and said it was to test a supposedly mystical spring said to help with such things.

The quest for the seed was a success (Su Xiyan probably helped). Shen Yuan is forced to use his deteriorating cultivation to grow the body. Shang Qinghua helps as well and is the one constantly checking on it since Shen Yuan isn't really allowed off the peak too often.

Around the 3rd year Shen Yuan is forced to be bedridden and uses spirit stones as a way to transfer his spiritual energy to the seed with Shang Qinghua being the one to bring them to the seed.

By the 5th year, his soul has practically fully rejected the body and was ready to just hop into the plant body. Everyone has been increasingly worried since Shen Yuan looks just about to drop dead and absolutely no cultivation seems to help.

Eventually Shen Yuan's Shizun suggests that they used a sun moon dew mushroom to save him, but the whole talk with Huan Hua was unsuccessful and took too long. By the time the Old Palace Master even allowed them to even look for the mushroom, the plant body was done growing and Shen Yuan finally dropped dead.

This obviously crushed a lot of people. Especially his Shizun who saw Shen Yuan as a son. And VERY MUCH Shen Jiu, who became an even worse shut in and his temper got worse.

When Shen Yuan finally crawls out of the ground, the Qing generation ascended. Shen Qingqiu is known to be an even worse shut in than he is in PIDW to the point that even a few of his own disciples don't know his face.

Shen Yuan is finally in a body like his old one and his cultivation also massively improves because he can finally actually cultivate. He goes to live his best life as a rogue cultivator under his real name.

He visits Shang Qinghua often enough to mostly hear about the goings on in the sect. He is at first surprised that Shen Jiu mourned him and even more surprised that he was Shen Qingqiu (the signs were there).

He fights with himself if he should check on him because on one hand, that is Jiu-er and he likes the kid, but on the other hand, that is also Shen Qingqiu. So he ends up just throwing it into the back of his mind.

Later on, Shang Qinghua slips up during a meeting with Shen Qingqiu and accidentally says something Shen Yuan related. Shen Qingqiu clocks that it sounded a lot like the beast taming peak's former head disciple, so he starts interrogating Shang Qinghua.

Shen Qingqiu tells him he knows that disciple was possessed or something like that because the soul was foreign. Shang Qinghua is shitting bricks, but manages to make up a believable lie about how someone from his hometown he was friends with died young and his soul had stuck to the disciple after his qi deviation as the spirit wandered. And that was why he had gotten sick because the soul rejected the vessel.

Shen Qingqiu can tell there's parts that aren't completely true but he can't find any full lies either. He concludes that Shang Qinghua is just lying about parts that would be too personal or something.

And after more pushing, he gets Shang Qinghua to admit he knew Shen Yuan was going to die and they planted a plant body for him to transfer into. Almost instantly Shen Qingqiu demands to meet Shen Yuan, and Shang Qinghua can't weasel himself out of this one and begrudgingly arranges an excursion out of the sect. Yue Qingyuan agrees almost instantly because Shen Qingqiu never left the sect after Shen Yuan's death, so he thinks it'll be good for him.

They go to a town Shen Yuan frequents and find him pretty quickly. Shang Qinghua points him out and doesn't even bother following Shen Qingqiu and just goes off to do something else (he refuses to third wheel here)

Shen Qingqiu goes to Shen Yuan and starts bickering with him almost instantly (he got nervous in front of him crush). Shen Yuan calls him a pest as always and fondly rolls his eyes before realizing that Shen Jiu probably didn't recognize him and went to backtrack.

Shen Jiu stops it and tells him that Shang Qinghua told him. Shen Yuan is surprised and then gets awkward as he tries to apologize for not telling him. Shen Jiu cuts him off and tells him he has no interest in apologies, and also that he figured it out a while ago.

And then they idk have some totally #platonic #heterosexual gay sex in Shen Yuan's inn room. I don't know bro I didn't think about the ending. They could've just talked. Honestly whichever one you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[crowclubkaz]

💚👁️🕸️ In honour of The Magnus Protocol releasing today, here are some book recommendations based on The Magnus Archives Fears!! 🕸️👁️💚

Detailed list of books below the cut!

For more book recommendations, especially queer horror, check out my Bookstagram @hauntedstacks

The Buried ⚰️ - Into the Sublime by Kate A. Boorman - Stuck by Ben Young - The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling - The Deep by Nick Cutter

The Corruption 🦠 - What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher - Green Fuse Burning by Tiffany Morris - The Honeys by Ryan La Sala - She Is A Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran

The Dark 🌑 - Dead Silence by S.A. Barnes - Nightfall by Jake Halpern & Peter Kujawinski - No Power by Todd Kirby - The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey

The Desolation 🔥 - Firestarter by Stephen King - Burner by Robert Ford - Those Who Wish Me Dead by Michael Koryta - Burn the House Down by Kenna Jenkins

The End 💀 - Funeral Girl by Emma K. Ohland - Pet Sematary by Stephen King - Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune - This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno

The Extinction 🦴 - Lost Signals by Max Booth III - Bride of the Tornado by James Kennedy - No Safety in Numbers by Dayna Lorentz - The Rules of the Road by C.B. Jones

The Eye 👁️ - Video Palace by Maynard Wills - Episode Thirteen by Craig DiLouie - A History of Fear by Luke Dumas - The Watchers by A.M. Shine

The Flesh 🦷 - You’ve Lost A Lot of Blood by Eric LaRocca - Carnivore by Justin Boote - A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers - Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica

The Hunt 🏹 - Hunt by Alexandra Nisneru - The Woods Are Always Watching by Stephanie Perkins - Survive the Night by Danielle Vega - The Hunger by Alma Katsu

The Lonely ☁️ - Red River Seven by A.J. Ryan - Solitude by Michael Penning - Dark Matter by Michelle Paver - We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

The Slaughter 🥩 - Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin - Your Shadow Half Remains by Sunny Moraine - American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis - The Summer I Died by Ryan C. Thomas

The Spiral 🌀 - That Darkened Doorstep by Catherine Jordan - Mind the Mirrors by Amanda Leanne - Grey Noise by Marcus Hawke - Last to Leave the Room by Caitlin Starling

The Stranger🕴️ - It Looks Like Us by Alison Ames - My Best Friend’s Exorcism by Grady Hendrix - The Deep by Alma Katsu - The Outside by Stephen King

The Vast 🪂 - From Below by Darcy Coates - Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant - Floating Staircase by Ronald Mafi - Nightmare Sky by Red Lagoe

The Web 🕸️ - The Taking of Jake Livingston - The Fervor by Alma Katsu - The Book of Accidents by Chuck Wendig - Come Closer by Sarah Gran

If You Like The Magnus Archives 💚 - Thirteen Stories by Jonathan Sims - Family Business by Jonathan Sims - Gas Station by Jack Townsend - Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix

[intothegenshinworld]

     "An Enchanted Evening" 

Banquets and parties alike weren’t uncommon in the Zapolyarny Palace. Funny enough, you seemed to be getting invites to them nearly every other month. One of the more silly perks of knowing Pulcinella, you suppose.

 ⟡

Like any other event, PULCINELLA would be the one signing his name as the sender of your letter of invitation. With your long standing acquaintance, he can’t help but see you as his adopted grandchild and a possible successor in the future. No matter the event, he’d try his best to involve you. At first he only did so to grant you access to the most elite connections in Snezhnaya and to elevate you to a higher status, but you quickly found your way into the hearts of the other Harbingers as well. From serving glasses of champagne during the annual winter ball as a server, to being seated amongst the most important people in Snezhnaya as a beloved friend. – Luck must be on your side if you’ve swayed all of their hearts, and who are you to refuse their affections?

As another close acquaintance to the 5th Harbinger, it's natural for CHILDE and you to have a close connection too. While you might not share the same lust over power and battles, you're able to confide in him without judgment. He is good company, and he often shares the most epic stories from his adventures and the more wholesome ones of his family in Morepesok. Should you at any time find the banquet to be boring, he's more than up for leaving and sneaking you out. However, be prepared for a scolding from Pulcinella once your missing presences are noticed by the others.

If you decide to sit next to PANTALONE at the banquet, you’ll likely catch his smile crumble at some point during the banquet—it being replaced by a scowl as annoyance visibly sets on his face. When yet another plate crashes or a fight breaks out and chairs get thrown across the room, he unconsciously counts the heaps of mora he’d need to spend on repairs just because a few people are insolent and refuse to have manners. Fortunately, he seems to have a soft spot for you. If you ever happen to break anything, on purpose or not, he suddenly seems to be oblivious to the action. Ask him anything, and he'll get it for you. After all, everything has a price, and what's a few million mora and a couple of favors if he can capture your heart in the end.

After a glass of wine, SIGNORA will start to share gossip with the Harbingers, often causing arguments between others as these bits of news are not in favor of her colleagues. She watches the entertainment from a safe distance, but if you call her out, she’ll try to avoid causing any more chaos during the banquet. Of course, in return she expects you to keep her entertained instead. If you drink, she’ll coax you to drink enough for you to spill your own secrets. And while she doesn’t care about the safety of others' private affairs, she’ll keep yours close to her chest.

As the fireplace crackles in the background, ARLECCHINO will mutter disapprovingly under her breath. The loud arguments, the spilled wine, — she can't stand the lack of etiquette at the table, and the sight of an elemental attack nearly hitting you makes her cringe. So, go on. Sit next to her. She'll keep you safe from the more unruly Harbingers. In the meantime, if you're polite and express genuine interest in her, she might share a few stories from Fontaine — but only if you offer some stories of your own in return. No ulterior motives, she simply wishes to know you at a more intimate level than the others do. 

Between the enthusiastic and annoyed Harbingers, SANDRONE appears to be disinterested. Unimpressed by the stories of her colleagues, she sits in the chair, poking the food on her plate with a bored expression. If you try your luck by approaching her for a conversation, she’ll likely gain some energy. Mention her robots or any of her current projects, and she'll expect you to listen thoroughly for the remainder of the night. Don't worry, if you fall asleep you can rest your head on her shoulder. It's not like she'll be joining any dances or the conversation of the others anyway.

While the fellow Harbingers are captivated by the variety of food and bustling atmosphere, CAPITANO will find a way to excuse himself to take a breather. Often, events like these are exhausting, and as a soldier of war, he’s unable to fully relax or make small talk. Still, as he walks out into the quiet halls of the palace, he hopes you’ll follow him. He doesn’t need someone to check up on him, but your worry warms his heart and he adores it when you fuss over him despite his status and rank. As you approach him in the halls, he’ll tell you he needs some air, and when you hesitantly turn to give him space, he’ll call out your name, holding his arm out for you to take — asking if you’d want to join him on a walk before returning to the ongoing banquet.

The banquet would be incomplete without DOTTORE causing a commotion. Whether it's arousing a heated argument between others or spiking the drinks with god-knows-what, he's up to something and you're forced to keep an eye on him unless you want to be his next ‘experiment’ at the event. There is no way you'll talk him out of it either. But if you decide to cover for him, keeping still as he throws a strange liquid into the drink closest to him, he might let you in on his unconventional ideas of fun, if you can handle it, of course.

While most of the Harbingers try to stir up trouble, SCARAMOUCHE thrives on creating pure chaos and watching the place burn down. He constantly gets into arguments, finding the whole ordeal unpleasant, and yet you see him present during every event you’re invited to. And while the Doctor schemes and gets away with the many pranks he pulls, the Balladeer finds amusement in the anger of others, uncaring of the consequences and keeping things unpredictable as people yell at him for the ninth time that night. Ask why he's never attacked you and he'll tell you that your reactions aren't worth it. But is that truly all? Perhaps the fleeting glances are a sign of something more.

COLUMBINA will go unbothered by the chaos around her. Even as food flies around the room, she remains unfazed. Her serene and enchanting presence seems to be an anomaly amongst the others, but don't be fooled, she has you right where she wants. During the banquet, she'll capture your attention and successfully steal you away from any other conversations. She'll find ways to hold your hand and somewhat sneakily steal food from your plate. You're not sure when the night ended either, time seems to flow weirdly when you're around her. 

PIERRO sits at the head of the table, chatting with the more quiet people that sit next to him as he calmly observes the others in the room. The demands of being the director of the Harbingers have left him feeling drained, making him too exhausted to actively participate in the lively atmosphere during events. Instead, he seeks solace in the quiet moments.  If you're able to slow things down with him, you'll find yourself a permanent seat beside him.  And as you’re able to get to know him better, he starts engaging in more conversations with you. For once, it appears that he might genuinely be enjoying himself.

©intothegenshinworld. Do not copy, repost, translate, or take heavy inspiration from my content. Thanks for reading.

[gobspeaks]

game guide: I recommend level 50 for this one!

Me, decently underleveled but filled with spite: :) Here we go!

[harmoonix]

☾ Moonlight Astrology Notes ☽

🏝️ ~ La Isla Bonita ~ 🏝️

︻︼︻︼︻ ︻︼︻︼︻︻︼︻︼︻ ︻︼︻︼︻︻︼

🌙 - Mercury aspecting Moon makes the native emotionally intelligent and wise, they know when to talk and how to talk to impress people

🌙 - Lilith aspecting Moon gives intensely powerful vibes, this aspect is intense and magical, you drain people so easily to you

🌙 - Mars aspecting Uranus natives are having so much energy in them, these people could be really good dancers and talented

🌙 - Mars aspecting MC (Midhaven) people will always see you as a competition and will try to compete with you, the reason is that you are so hot that they wanna be inside your skin someone said "Bunch of wannabes that wanna be me, me three if I was you" while I wrote this

🌙 - Cancer/Moon in the 7th house will nurture their relationship so much is otherworldly how much love these people have for their partners

🌙 - Mercury - Saturn aspects can get anxiety while talking and sometimes this anxiety can be more intense if they are harsh aspects

🌙 - Uranus prominent in someone's chart gives "I'm unique bi**ches" they are different than majority of people (in a good way)

🌙 - Uranus at 4°, 16° or 28° degrees might change their home aesthetics a lot

🌙 - People with Moon or Venus in the 4th house often want to make their house the biggest comfort and the palace where they feel safe

🌙 - Sun or Moon/Lilith in the 9th house gives the vibes of an priestess living in her gorgeous temple worshiping their favorite gods (love their placements so much)

🌙 - Moon in 10th house can tend to over-share things that happened to them but without knowing the other person's intentions, be careful of your surroundings

🌙 - Asteroid Hekate (100) aspecting Moon gives the person who can embody witch/enchantress vibes, often because of their positive intuition

🌙 - Jupiter aspecting Neptune are these type of people who feel like a fairytale when you are around them, something is special about them

🌙 - Taurus Venus/Libra Venus aesthetic will be a fairy for sure because they can embody these traits very good their clothes might remind you of a fairy tho

🌙 - Someone with asteroid devota (1328) in their 7th house may be very devoted to their lovers/relationships, these people are very loyal and lovely

🌙 - Scorpio/Aries And Leo Venus always be having jokes that will transform into flirt words, at some point their brain will activate "Flirty Chatty" energy and they will talk in a flirty way 😭

🌙 - Ascendant aspecting asteroid Aphrodite (1388) the meaning is self explanatory, you LOOK ethereal darling, your vibes, your energy your voice.... EVERYTHING

🌙 - Someone with asteroid Pallas (2) and asteroid Juno (3) aspecting eachother might also have this imense loyalty towards their partners (in the right aspects 😭)

🌙 - Cancer Chiron/Cancer Lilith always needs to solve their families karma somehow 😭 like why do they have to be the healers instead of enjoying some good life

🌙 - Venus in the 12th house is mystical, Venus here is has an energy like sleeping beauty she is reaching for love but something seems like it blocks her way (most times these are boundaries)

🌙 - Venus in the 2nd, 5th, and 10th house can have a passion for shopping (aswell if you have Venus in Taurus, Leo or Capricorn)

🌙 - Venus in the 11th house or Venus in Aquarius have the energy of Megara from Hercules (if you didn't see the musical, please do it is enchanting) , they have this vibe of fatality and amor both in the same time

🌙 - Moon in the 8th house/Moon aspecting - Pluto give "Alejandro" vibes by Lady Gaga, so misterious, magic and dark yet iconic

🌙 - is 12:12 when I write this observation and having 12°, 24° degrees in your Venus makes you to be emotional bounded with your partner, you are the type of person who loves so deep

🌙 - JUPITER in the 8th house (DEEPER, DEEPER) has an iconic reputation, you have the life purpose to marry someone rich and to live life at fullest

🌙 - Virgo Moon/6th house Moon love to read/write based on the weather, if is rainy and atmosphere there they would start to read or write

• I choose 3 square placements to write quotes about since squares are the top 1 harsh aspects

🌙 - Sun square Moon quote: What you choose to do? To think with your brain or to feel with your heart? To touch the earth or to feel it inside of you? To think or to feel?

🌙 - Chiron square Moon quote: The wounds are deep but slowly I can heal, pain I don't want to remember, my heart will be still?

🌙 - Saturn square Moon quote: Will they think I'm cold when all I wanted was to feel protected?, Will they judge me for being this distant? All I know is that I don't want to suffer anymore, it was enough

🌙 - Mars at 12°, 24° degrees can mediate when they feel angry or agitated, you have a powerful mind and you can control your anger often if you concentrate enough

🌙 - Asteroid Nefertiti 3199 aspecting ascendant will always radiate royalty vibes (esp if you have Nefertiti in Libra, Leo or Taurus). Is the type of aura you tend to show

🌙 - Nefertiti 3199 aspecting Chiron can show an wounded related to authorities, you don't like when someone control you or tells you what to do and tend to call them out for that

🌙 - Asteroid Nike 307 in the 7th house indicates an victorious relationship, you either your spouse might be well known by the people around and your relationship can get known aswell

🌙 - Nike 307 in Aries/Leo/Libra are just glamorous to have. Because of your confidence, power, your beauty. You have victory written in your destiny bestie, but may tend to have an big ego aswell

🌙 - Asteroid Bless 98291 sextile/trine/conjunct Juno can be blessed with a good relationship/spouse/marriage. If you have this aspect you probably gonna have that type of relationship just like in movies

🌙 - Asteroid Bless 98291 at Scorpio Degrees (8°, 20°) or in the 8th house may have a blessing related to their power and also blessed sexually

🌙 - 18+ Asteroid Lust 4386 in the 2nd house might get too touchy with their partners of having an kink related to it

🌙 - Asteroid Lucifer 1930 aspecting asteroid Juno (3) might have an extremely kinky relationship, like both partners being obsessed with eachother sexually and physically is mind-blowing

🌃 These photos have a vibe of a ~fever dream~ I love it so much, blue hour is underrated and so aesthetic, is also my most favorite time to go out with my babes 🌃

🌃May the moon bless you with her gifts🌃

🌃Hope everyone has a really really great Sunday because Mondays are always gonna be a rough start, (at least for me😭) so enjoy this day at the most🌃

[kechiwrites]

property lines

dark!steve rogers x neighbour!reader

kinktober countdown: day two (facefucking).

synopsis: your neighbour is inappropriate, and you aren’t quite sure how to broach the subject.

wc: 2.2k

cw: dark content, non con, oral (male receiving), femme language + afab!reader, pet names, internal victim blaming, pet names (sweetheart), a touch of misogyny

author’s note: day 2 brings us more dark!steve, i fear i may be incapable of writing him sincerely. he’s just a little too perfect. I like to take off a bit of the shine. thank you @katsukikitten u r my muse.

Your neighbour is inappropriate, and you aren’t quite sure how to broach the subject. Mostly because you can’t be sure if he’s doing it on purpose or if he’s just overly friendly. Maybe it’s the signals you give off, bringing a plate of thick, sweet, cheesecake brownies over to the recently sold house next door, hoping to make a new connection. Suburbia can be isolating, and with all of your friends shaking ass in the city, you need to branch out. It really isn’t the kind of home you figured a single man like Steven Grant Rogers would buy, but then again, you lived in your suburban palace alone, willed to you by your late grandmother and only in need of a few renovations.

He’d been so bright, when you first met him, with a perfect white smile and twinkling blue eyes. He’d been happy to accept the desserts, even happier to return the plate a day later, extolling the praise he and his poker buddies lauded on you over the taste. You’d shrugged it off, “The least I could do for a neighbour. I’m just glad you all liked them.” 

Secretly though, the compliments had thrilled you, especially once you’d gotten a glimpse at the aforementioned “poker buddies”, the whole lot of them, handsome, built, big. All too happy to fix leaky pipes and paint fences in exchange for chocolate cream pie or a dish of homemade lasagna. But Steven  - “Steve, please”  -  was your most loyal customer, always lending a hand, pausing during his early morning jog to check up on you while you watered your flower beds, asking how your book is going, what you do in that “big old house all by yourself” when you aren’t working on “the next great American novel”, of course (his words, not yours).

It’s fine at first, a little disarming to be at the centre of his white hot attention, burning your flesh like he had you under a magnifying glass on a perfect sunny day. But eventually it’s not fine, eventually Steve Rogers takes more and more steps over the property line of overly friendly and into the front yard of wildly overbearing. Eventually, Mr. Rogers insists on weekly visits, popping into your house by using the spare key under the mat he shouldn’t even know about. Slinging his muscled arm over you during the neighbourhood block party, and your neighbour’s son’s 5th birthday party, and the Fourth of July barbeque. He fixes your car without you asking, brings in your groceries when he sees you unloading them in your driveway, brings your mail to you during his daily jog. It’s helpful sometimes, yes, but it’s also suffocating. And you were going to set him straight. You were! But it’s hard, hard to stare into the face of a suburban god, the literal king of the neighbourhood and tell him no. It’s hard to tell him that he’s making you uncomfortable, that you’d like for him to stop being so goddamn friendly all the time. 

So maybe a little of it is your fault. Maybe you should’ve been clearer on your boundaries. Maybe, when handsome, strapping Mr. Rogers came to your front door to ask you to essentially cater one of his poker nights, you shouldn’t have stayed to serve the food, playing happy little housewife in front of Steve’s friends, bringing them cold beers from the fridge and sitting next to Steve, playfully making faces at his hand, then plating up dessert when he asked you to. But it felt good to have his attention. His favour. So when “the boys” start to head home, laying praise and amazement at your feet, you’re sufficiently buttered up for Steve to ask yet another favour of you. It’s not much, of course. Just a little help with cleanup. Then he’ll escort you home himself. After all, there are some real sickos out there.

So you agree. What’s the harm, right?

The harm, it just so happens, comes quickly after you finish drying the dishes Steve washes. You slide the last plate, towel dried as best you could, into his cabinets, sighing in contentment at a job well done. The harm is when Steve turns you around and presses you against the sink, water soaking into the back of your blouse, making the fabric cling to your skin. You stay there for a minute, not processing what’s happening, ready to laugh off another inappropriate joke from Steve. 

You don’t really get the chance.

Two heavy hands clap down on your shoulders, exerting pressure on you until you crumple to the floor, knees hitting the tile of Steve's kitchen painfully. You yelp, struggling against him, pressing, then beating your fist against his tree trunk legs. 

"Stev-" you choke on his name when your neighbour unzips his trousers before you, undoes the fly of the pair you helped him pick out, with him bent over your shoulder while you held his phone, his front pressed close to your back. Pulls his half hard dick out of pants starched and pressed with the iron he'd borrowed from you because his was "on the fritz" again. 

"Open up." He cajoles, and you pin him with an incredulous, confused stare. No. No. This is all wrong. He doesn’t act like that. Steve Rogers isn’t like that.

The hand he doesn't use to stroke himself grabs your jaw, squeezing until you open your mouth, squeezing til it hurts. A sharp, purposeful punch of his hips is all it takes for him to make use of the opening. All it takes to put every little joke, boundary crossing, and stray touch into startling, horrifying perspective.

“It was the baking.” He whispers above you. “Peggy never baked, which was fine.” He sighs above you like he isn’t pistoning his cock deep into your throat with reckless abandon. “But I missed it, y’know? And you, you bake how angels ought to, sweetheart.” 

Tears stream down your face while Steve uses you, dragging your dazed, crying face back and forth on his hard-on. On a particularly strong thrust, he broaches your throat. Your eyes roll up, until he can barely see the perimeter of your irises, and you warble out a miserable moan, begging, all while wrapped around his dick, for a reprieve. Your head is pinned to the counter behind you, and even though you shove against the muscle of his thighs, Steve brooks no quarter.

“Just take it,” he coos, like he wants you to swallow cough syrup, “it’ll be over soon.” his breath stutters when your lips brush against his balls. Steve moves one of his hands to cup the back of your head, keeping you as close as possible when he comes down your throat, groaning in pleasure while you struggle to swallow stream after bitter stream of his seed, lest you choke on it or fucking drown. 

He finally releases you, and you pull back so fast you bang the back of your head on his pristine white counters. The pain radiates through your scalp, grounding you in the moment, cementing you to the spotless linoleum floor of Steve Rogers’ kitchen. You’re both panting, eager to fill your lungs with gulps of air. 

“Whew.” He sighs, hands on his hips, like that took a lot out of him. “I didn’t mean to get so rough with you, just didn’t expect the struggle.” He chuckles, patting you on the head. “But you settled down quick, didn’t ya?” His tone takes on…contentment? Happiness? 

No. That’s not quite right. 

It’s pride. Steve is looking down at you, your spit and cum slick mouth, the weepy, watery state of your eyes, and the disarray of the hair he’d used as a handle, with pride.

Your stomach roils.

He bends low and you flinch away from him, smacking your head on the countertop again. He cocks his head at the involuntary movement, and smiles at you. A familiar, warm thing. One that made your heart flutter with pleasure, beat fast with your own surge of pride when he accepted a pie, or offered a compliment. Now it does the same, your heart speeds up, your palms itch curiously, and your brain doesn’t know if you’re happy or sad. Doesn’t know if it craves those smiles anymore. 

“Just wanna set you on your feet. C’mon.” He speaks quietly, like he’s soothing a frightened animal, and hooks his hand under your armpits, heaving you up with the same startling strength he'd used to face fuck the fight out of you.

“It’s okay.” You bleat, voice as wobbly and unstable as the pair of legs struggling to keep you upright. And it’s not, it’s far from okay, the taste of him lingers in the back of your throat and if you think about it for even a second more you’ll throw up all over his shiny floors, on those godforsaken pants.

“I admit,” he laughs, ducks his head with that small town charm he does so well, “I wanted to last longer. But you were too good.” He winks at you, like you share a secret. Like you’re in league with each other.

He staring, waiting for you to say something, arches a brow like it’s your line and you’re fucking up the show.

But there it is again, that smile, sunny and open, and so pristine.

“Let’s get you home.” He herds you towards his front door, hand glued to the small of your back, his pinky finger stroking the skin exposed by the riding up of your still wet shirt. The two of you walk into the balmy summer air, and the spaces in between the black night, punctuated with the occasional white streetlight, designate your path home. Some of your neighbours’ houses are still illuminated, their warm yellow windows denoting the presence of life. You wonder what goes on behind their doors, you wonder if someone is having a good night somewhere close to you.

You come across your door faster than you were prepared for, the cheery yellow paint job Steve and James had done for caramel apple pie, mocks you. The way he’d smiled in your face, touched you, laughed. Steve shifts next to you, holding onto your extensive tower of pyrex and tupperware, for an instant your blood runs cold at the prospect of Steve inviting himself in, like he’s done so many times before. Not to bring in groceries or put together a dresser, but to pin you prone to the carpet of your bedroom and smile at you.

“So!” He turns, “Same time next week?” You gawk at him, and when you don’t say or do anything, he stoops and slides your extra keys out from under your Garfield emblazoned doormat. The jingle of two, simple metal keys against the little bell shaped key-chain makes your head pound, your blood boil. He unlocks the door, and gestures for you to take a step indoors. You raise both hands, palms upturned so he can give the keys back, so you can hide them, or melt them, or flush them down the toilet. Instead, you get to watch him slip the key-ring into his pocket, before he places your dishes into your uplifted open palms. “I gotta say, the lemon bars were a hit.” He tweaks your nose between his thumb and forefinger, his compliment tempered by the greedy shine in his eyes. You nearly scratch your own eyes out when you get that pleased, soft tingle in your chest.

He smiles and you salivate. He compliments you and your heart responds. He’s proud and your brain tells you ‘I’m happy’.

Why hasn’t it gone away? Will it ever go away?

“Maybe those brownies again, the cream cheese ones?” His voice is hopeful, soft and pliant, like he’s worried you’ll say ‘no’.

Like there’s a world where he’d take no for an answer.

You nod, a jerky, quick gesture that rattles your brain around in your skull. “Sure. Yeah.” You answer, sweaty hands slipping against tempered glass and plastic lids. “Yes. Brownies.” Steve beams, clapping his hands together, once, loud, drawing your eyes to the brutish width of them.

“Fantastic. I can’t wait.” He jogs down your front steps, and the fist secured around your lungs loosens with every step he takes away from you. He pauses at the side walk, one foot still on your property, the other poised to leave it.

“We make a great team. Don’t we?” He turns to you, and this time, he isn’t smiling. This time, his eyes cut through the night and the streetlight and the foggy haze of misfortune clouding your brain.

And the fear finally comes.

You kick your door closed, and you lock your door, and you drop your pyrex and tupperwear and serving spoons in the sink and you lock your windows and you get into bed, still dressed for a poker night you had no business being at, and you pull the covers up and up and over your face.

But the fear doesn’t go away.

And neither will your neighbour.

god i want him so bad. tomorrow, captain soap.

find the rest of the masterlist here.

support city girls who bought $50 of baked cheesecake today, reblog what you like.

[memories-of-ancients]

Petronius Maximus --- The dipshit Roman emperor who caused the sack of Rome because he was an arrogant dipshit.

Petronius Maximus was a wealthy Roman politician born in 397 AD to old Roman money. Like many wealthy Romans he went into politics and throughout the early 5th century climbed the ranks of Roman government until he became one of the most powerful men in the Western Roman Empire. He was crafty and he was ambitious. He was also a dipshit and an asshole.

By the 450's P. Maximus had a clear plan, to create a power vacuum in Rome that he could cunningly fill. He began by turning the emperor at the time, Valentinian III, against his magister militum Flavius Aetius. As magister militum Aetius was commander of the Roman Army, and had proven himself a master tactician and brilliant diplomat. Through military victories and diplomacy Aetius was barely holding a crumbling empire together. Maximus convinced Valentinian III that Aetius was looking to usurp his throne. Thus in 454 Valentinian summoned Aetius to his palace and personally murdered him with his sword. Maximus had organized the death of the most talented Roman official in the empire, which in the grand scheme of things was probably a big mistake. With Aetius dead, Maximus expected he would take Aetius' place as magister militum. However Valentinian refused to appoint him as magister militum. Thus in 455 AD, Maximus had him assassinated, hiring two of Aetius' bodyguards to do the deed as revenge.

Several powerful Romans claimed the Imperial throne but Maximus managed to beat them all to the punch by taking over the Imperial Palace and immediately marrying Valentinian's widow, Licinia Eudoxia. Licinia didn't know Maximus had murdered her husband at the time but had suspicions. He also forced her daughters, Placidia and Eudocia to marry his sons. Through deceit and murder Maximus had managed to weasel his way into the Roman Imperial family and was now creating his own Imperial dynasty. Thus Petronius Maximus had become Emperor Dipshit, ruler of the shiny turd of what was left of the Western Roman Empire.

Problem was, when Emperor Dipshit married off Placidia and Eudocia to his sons, he canceled Eudocia's arranged marriage to Hunneric, who was the son of Geiseric, king of the Vandals. The Vandals were a Germanic tribe that had set up a prosperous kingdom in the former Roman province of North Africa, and were constantly raiding the Italian coast. Valentinian had arranged the marriage of Eudocia as a peace offering to Geiseric. Geiseric had received a letter from Eudoxia informing him that Maximus had killed her husband and was canceling the marriage of Eudocia. Geiseric was enraged at Empror Dipshit for canceling the marriage, and sent a Vandal fleet and army to Rome in response. "No problem" said Emperor Dipshit, "we got the Roman Army".

Except there was no Roman Army. Not really. After the death of Aetius the remains of the standing full time professional army had collapsed almost completely. Even Aetius was very dependent on mercenaries and allies. Nobody wanted to enlist in the Roman Army in the 5th century, with Romans going so far as to cut off their own fingers to avoid conscription. The Roman economy was a mess, the Imperial bureaucracy was riddled with corruption, the life of the average Roman was miserable, and by the 5th century most Roman emperors were snobbish, over-privileged, incompetent out of touch dipshits. The empire was dying and everybody knew it. Few believed it was worth saving, and nobody wanted to die for a dipshit emperor such as Emperor Dipshit. By 455 AD what was left of the Roman Army consisted of militia units called "limitanei" who acted as border patrolmen far away from Rome. For more complex military operations the Romans were fully dependent on mercenaries and allies. Emperor Dipshit attempted to enlist the help of the Visigoths, but they were like, "LMFAO nooo, you made your bed now lie in it!" I speculate they knew Maximus was a dipshit who was probably gonna get them all killed.

Emperor Dipshit knew it was a hopeless situation, so he made an announcement to the Roman people to flee and save themselves, then he too turned tail and fled. He was spotted by a large group of Roman refugees, who formed a mob and beat him to death. Good riddance. Emperor Dipshit's glorious reign lasted 77 days.

As far as sackings go the sack of Rome in 455 AD wasn't too bad. The Vandals were Christians, so the Pope was able to convince them not to do the more horrible things like rape and murder civilians, or burn down the city. So for the most part the Vandals refrained from bloodshed and arson. However they did take as many Romans into slavery as they could fit on their ships, and they also looted the city of almost everything of value. Even the bronze tiles on the roof of the Temple of Jupiter were pried off and carted away. Also Geiseric carted off Eudocia and married her off to his son Huneric.

The Vandal's sack of Rome in 455 is where we get the term "vandalism" today. Also did I mention that Petronius Maximus was a dipshit?

[dresshistorynerd]

Roughly 10 Cool Historical Queer Figures More People Should Know About

Part 1 - From Ancient Era to Early Modern Era

In spirit of Pride Month here's some snippets of queer history I think are interesting.

I've been working on a series of deep dives into interesting historical queer figures, but I haven't had the time to continue my list after the first entry about Julie d'Aubigny. I do want to continue with it, but I came to the realization that I will never have to time to do all the cool and interesting figures in depth, since there's too many, so I decided to do a list with brief descriptions about some of my favorite figures who are not that well known. Some of them are more well-known than others but I think they all deserve more acknowledgement.

I was able to trim down the number of figures to (roughly) 20, which was still too many for one post, so it's two posts now. They are in chronological order, so this part is set mostly before Victorian Era and the second part will be from Victorian Era onward.

This list is centered around western history (but not exclusively) because that's the history I'm most familiar with, though it's definitely not all white, since western history is not all white. I will be avoiding using modern labels, since they are rarely exactly applicable to history, rather I will present whatever we know about these figures' gender, sexuality and relationships. If there's information about what language they used about themselves, I will use that. Often we don't know their own thoughts, so I will need to do some educated guess work, but I will lean towards ambiguity whenever evidence is particularly unclear. If you are the type of person who gets angry with the mere suggestion there's a possibility that a historical gnc person might not have been cis, I encourage you to read my answers to related asks (here and here) first before sending me another identical ask. Try to at least bring some new arguments if you decide to waste my time with your trans erasure.

1. Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum (latter half of 2400 BCE)

Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum were ancient Egyptian royal servants, and possibly the first recorded gay couple in history known by name. They shared the title of Overseer of the Manicurists in the Palace of King Nyuserre Ini. They both had a wife and children, but they (along with their families) were buried together in a tomb. The tomb decorations show them similarly as other afterlife couples.

2. Marinos the Monk (c. 5th-8th century)

Marinos the Monk was born as Marina somewhere in eastern parts of Byzantine Empire, likely in the Levant. He was from a wealthy Christian family, possibly Coptic. Assigned female at birth his widowed father planned to marry him off and go to a monastery himself, but he convinced his father to take him with him dressed as a boy named Marinos. His father agreed and they were accepted as monks. After his father died many years later, he continued his life as a male presenting monk. Later he was accused of fathering an illegitimate child with a daughter of an innkeeper, which was not possible, but he didn't revoke the accusations, instead he begged for the abbot's forgiveness for "his sins". Marinos was banished from the monastery and became a beggar. For 10 years he raised his alleged illegitimate child as a father, until he was allowed to return to the monastery and do penance. Only after his death the abbot and the monks discovered his genitals and his inability to father children and were distraught for punishing an innocent man for 10 long years. The real father was discovered and along with the innkeeper and his daughter they all came to honor Marinos' grave and ask his forgiveness. He was canonized as a saint for his sacrificial selflessness, modesty and humility and honored across the Mediterranean from Ethiopia to France.

3. Mubārak and Muẓaffar al-Saqlabi (c. 10th - 11th century)

Mubārak and Muẓaffar were co-rulers of Taifa of Valencia in Muslim Spain. Al-Saqlabi means literally "of the Slavs", which in Al-Andalus was a general term for enslaved northern Europeans, as the two had been enslaved as children. They were in the service of another al-Saqlabi, a chief of police, and they worked they way up as civil servants till a local military coup in 1010, which resulted in them becoming the emirs of Taifa of Valencia. English language sources often describe them as "brothers" and "eunuchs", which gives the "historical gal pals" trope a concerning twist, but contemporary Muslim sources wrote fawningly about their passionate love, trust based on equality and mutual devotion. There was a popular genre of homoerotic poetry in the Islamic world at the time and poems in that genre were written about celebrating Mubārak and Muẓaffar's relationship. In 1018 Mubārak was killed in a riding accident and Muẓaffar shortly after in an uprising.

4. Eleno de Céspedes (1545 – died after 1589)

CW: genital inspection

Eleno was born in Andalusia, Spain, to an enslaved black Muslim woman and to a free Castillian peasant. He was assigned female at birth, given name Elena, and branded as a mulatto born to a slave. She was freed as a child and married to a stonemason at 15-16 years old. When pregnant, her husband left her and died a while later. Later Eleno testified that his intersex condition became externally visible, while he gave birth, and he became a man. He left his son to be raised by a friend and traveled around Spain. After he stabbed a pimp and ended up in jail, he started presenting as a man and openly courting women. Eventually he taught himself to be a surgeon with the help of a surgeon friend.

When he married María del Caño, his maleness was questioned and he was subjected to genital inspection multiple times and it was agreed by doctors that he had definitely male genitals, possibly also female genitals. After a year of marriage the couple was accused of sodomy. Eleno was tried by the Spanish Inquisition and subjected to more genital inspections, during which no penis was found. He claimed that his penis had been amputated after an injury. He defended himself in the trial by arguing that his intersex condition was natural and he had become a man after his pregnancy, so his marriage was legal. He was sentenced only for bigamy, since he had not confirmed that his husband was dead and punished as a male bigamist with 200 lashes and 10 years of public service to care for the poor in a public hospital. His fame attracted a lot of people wanting to be healed by him, which which was very embarrasing for the hospital so he was sent away and eventually exonerated from his charges.

7. Chevaliére d'Éon (1728-1810)

Charles d'Éon de Beaumont was born to a poor French noble family. In their 20s they became a government official and at 28 they joined the secret spy network of the king, Secret du Roi. They became a diplomat first in Russia and later in Britain while they used their position to spy for the king. Rumors circulated in London that they were secretly a woman. While in London they had a falling out with the French ambassador, accused him of attempted murder and published secret diplomatic correspondence. They were instead accused of libel and went into hiding. After the death of Louis XV in 1774 and the abolishment of Secret du Roi, d'Éon negotiated with the French government of the end of their exile in exchange for the rest of the secret documents he possessed. D'Éon took the name Charlotte, claimed she was in fact a cis woman - she had pretended to be man since a child so she could get the inheritance - and demanded the government to recognize her as such. When the king agreed and included funds for women's wardrobe, she agreed and returned to France in 1777. After that she helped rebels in the American War of Indepence - was not allowed to ]go and fight too, ghostwrote her not super reliable memoir, offered to lead a division of female soldiers against the Hasburgs in 1792 - was for some reason denied, attended fencing tournaments till 65 years old and settled down for the rest of her years with a widow, Mrs. Cole. After her death a surgeon reported that she had male primary sex characteristics, but fairly feminine secondary sex characteristics, like round breasts, which might suggest she had hormonal difference/was intersex in some way.

8. Public Universal Friend (1752-1819)

Public Universal Friend, or The Friend or PUF, was born as Jemima Wilkinson to Quaker parents in Rhodes Island, USA. Jemima contracted a disease in 1776, gained intense fever and almost died. The Friend claimed that she did die and God sent the Friend to occupy her body. The Friend didn't identify as man or a woman, and when asked about the Friend's gender, the Friend said "I am that I am". The Friend didn't want any gendered pronouns or gendered language to be used about the Friend. The Friend's pronouns, according to the writings of the Friend's followers, were "the Friend", "PUF" and possibly he. First recorded neo-pronouns perhaps? The Friend also dressed in androgynous/masculine manner.

The Friend started a bit cultish religious society disavowed by mainstream Quakers, The Society of Universal Friends, which I can only describe as chaotic good. The Friend first predicted a Day of Judgement would come in 1780 and when 1780 came and went, the Friend decided it was New England's Dark Day in 1780 and they had survived survived the Judgement Day so all was good then. The Friend preached for gender equality, free will, universal salvation (Jesus saved everyone and no one will go to hell) and abolition of slavery. The Friend persuaded any followers to free their slaves, which is probably the most chaotic good thing a potential cult leader can do with their influence over their followers, and several freed black people followed the Friend too. The Friend advocated for celibacy and was unfavorable towards marriage, but didn't think celibacy or rejection of marriage were necessary for everyone else, so it feels more like a personal preference. Many young unmarried women followed the Friend and some of them formed Faithful Sisterhood and took leadership positions among the Society.

The Society of Universal Friends tried to form a town for themselves around mid-1780s, till in 1799 the Friend was accused of blasphemy. The Friend successfully escaped the law two times. First the Friend, a skilled rider (what's a gender neutral version of horse girl?), escaped with a horse, then after an officer and an assistant tried to arrest the Friend at home, women of the house drove the men away. Third time 30 men surrounded the Friend's home at night, but a doctor convinced them that the Friend was in too poor health to move but would agree to appear at court. The Friend was cleared for all charges and even allowed to preach at the court.

9. Mary Jones (early 1800s–1853)

Mary Jones' origin is unknown, but she was an adult in 1836 in New York, USA. She was a free Black person, who preferred to present as a woman. She was sex worker by trade and used a prosthetic vagina. As a side hustle she would steel her customer's wallets, and usually they wouldn't tell anyone because it was 1830s and inter-racial sex and prostitution were illegal and everyone was repressed. Smart. Get your coin, girl. However after one of her more shameless customers discovered his wallet with 99 dollars inside had been replaced with a different man's empty wallet and contacted the police, she was arrested. The police discovered she had male genitals and when they searched her room they found several more stolen wallets. She appeared in court in her female presentation and when asked about her dress, she said that prostitutes she had worked with encouraged her to dress in women's clothing and said she looked better in them. They were right and she had since presented as a woman in her evening profession and among other Black people. She was convicted for grand larceny and sentenced to 5 years in prison. Later she continued to present as a woman and practice sex work, for which she was arrested for two more times.

10. George Sand (1804-1876)

George Sand was pen name of Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin de Francueil, a French Romantic writer. Amantine was high-born with a countess as a grandmother. George wrote about themself with alternating masculine and feminine language, using feminine language when talking about his childhood, but masculine language often other times. Their friends also used both masculine and feminine terms about them. Victor Hugo for example said about them: "George Sand cannot determine whether she is male or female. I entertain a high regard for all my colleagues, but it is not my place to decide whether she is my sister or my brother." George preferred men's clothing in public, which was illegal for those seen as women without a permit, but they didn't ask for permissions. They alternated between masculine and feminine presentations. They were outspoken feminist, critic of the institution of marriage, committed republican and supporter of worker's rights. They were married at age 18, had two children and left their husband in 1831, but legally separated from him in 1835. They had many affairs with men and some with women, at least with actress Marie Dorval. Their most notable relationship was with Frédéric Chopin, but they fell out before Chopin's death.