#7.13.19

[newyorkkiss]

7.13.19

[thefakejeffreyazoff]

Jeffrey in Glenne’s Instagram Post. 7.13.18

[missinvisibleandco]

"Recovery And Visitation"

Visiting the courtyard at my Grandma's rehab/therapy facility. So impressed with the place....it reminds me more of a cool hotel than a recovery facility....complete with lots of art (both contemporary and fine!), flowers, a koi pond w/ mini waterfall, firepit, and modern decor! Best of all, though, Grandma is making progress, which couldn't make any of us happier! (7.13.19)

[ener-chi]

I’ve been thinking, and i think i really want to try and lucid dream again.

When i was about... hm 14ish? I became really obsessed with dreams and dreaming. Of course as part of that I also studied lucid dreaming, and tried really hard to have one. It’s a lot of work, keeping a detailed dream journal but more importantly doing reality checks constantly and enough to where you’d end up doing them naturally in your dream.

But my hard work actually paid off. I was in the bleachers at a school basketball game. Some old couple that i knew irl sat in front of me, and then the man reached down, turned around, held out his hand and asked, “is this yours?”

In his hand was the model top that i had from the movie Inception, which of course i had seen. I thanked him and took it from him, but the tip of the top... was all bent and askew, at almost a 90 degree angle. I took it and bent it back into shape, and then i realized that i shouldn’t be able to do that in real life, and suddenly my consciousness surged and i was aware in my dream. It didn’t last very long, though, because i got too excited and accidentally woke myself up. I’ve been unable to lucid dream since.

It’s so weird, though. Despite not being able to lucid dream, i still am able to control my dreams?? Like i’ll be dreaming and then something will happen in the narrative of it that i don’t like so i’ll stop the dream, change the situation, then continue on dreaming. But it lacks the lucidity that it should have. 

Other interactions that come close to lucid dreaming is when i talk to spirits in my dream. This has only happened twice; the first time is when my raven spirit mentor came to me, introduced itself, and told me to meet it in the astral. The other time is when a large tree spirit came and gave me some kind of advice and wisdom, which i didn’t write down and am still regretting it to this day. But both times, i was dreaming, and then suddenly... the dream kind of like surged around me and zoomed in into my person and then suddenly the spirit was in front of me, talking to me.

Anyways, this morning i was dreaming and i thought about it, and i wanted to try and make it happen... and i couldn’t make it happen... I don’t know if i’ll be able to tbh, I think i’m just too detached from myself and my thoughts?? I think i need to try doing something like i do when i astral travel, somehow bring my consciousness into my dream body?? Or maybe i can ask one of my guides to help me, although i feel that might be a little bit difficult.

But I’d really like to try. I see a lot of potential for me in terms of working in the astral realm through the dream realm, as well as experimenting with reality and consciousness in general.

Anyways, this has been on my mind for a while and especially today, so i wanted to get my thoughts on paper. We’ll see what happens.

Blessings!

[informadrid]

Pre-season 19/20: Day 6 and Day 7 | July 14, 2019 - previously

July 13 Training: 🎥[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] Brahim stayed in the gym for the double session; Modrić returned to the group. Prior to the start of the morning practice, a minute of silence was held for Zidane’s older brother Farid, who passed away at 54.

News - The 5 youth players who traveled to Montreal gave interviews to RMTV 🎥 - More autographs 🎥

-- -- -- --

July 14 Training: 🎥[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] Modrić and Brahim remained indoors for the morning practice. Isco, who arrived in Montreal this afternoon, took part in the 2nd session of the day. Club president Pérez was on hand to watch.

News - Injury update: Brahim (hamstring) 🎥 - Pérez and Isco flew to Montreal together 🎥 - Pérez in Montreal to speed up departures -- ABC | AS - Marcelo’s RMTV interview - RM reconsidering sending Ceballos on loan -- Marca - Kubo impressing everyone -- AS - Benzema always on hand -- Marca - Hazard wants No. 23 -- Marca

[honey-and-sting]

A Thousand Kisses Deep

Tonight I can’t help but remember the dizzying pleasure of melting into your warm arms wrapped tight around me & the golden hue the world turned when I caught you smiling at me.

I am a thousand kisses  deep in memories & wishing. Darling, could you smile now?

Do you remember how I called & you answered, how you came to hold me & laugh my fears away? You covered me in kisses & brought the sun out again.

I am a thousand kisses deep into wondering, Darling, if maybe you could hold me now?

[spidey-sensory-overload]

do you ever feel genuine hatred for people taller than you or am i just particularly dysphoric and mean

[avi-arts]

Day 919:

7.13.19

Babey

[privatethoughts-feelinglost]

A lazy day for me. Of course I wanted to go out and go for a walk or do a workout but it just didn't happen. Tomorrow I am going to run errands and hopefully being out and about will motivate me to be active for the rest of the day too.

Intake was 400 from a protein shake, some kale and Brussels sprouts, and a granola bar

[llylaa]

man i hate being in love

i am scared. love is scary. loss is difficult and heartache fucking aches. i want to run away. i don’t want to love you anymore. unless you love me back. if i’m always going to be unsure then i’m going. i want to be able to drive somewhere without thinking of you when i pass your street and wondering if you’re free and if you are why aren’t you wanting to hang out with me. i don’t like the way love consumes me. i don’t like that i think of you in everything that i do. i’m always wishing you were here. when you’re not here i’m hoping that you’re wishing i was there. i hate the way that loving you makes me feel unstable. i hate that i’m going to have to retrain my brain to not love you. it took me a while last time. i finally had it down and then you came back around and i fell in too deep. i don’t want to be in this deep. i hate that i’m going to have to pull myself out. if you love me let me know. if not, i’m going to go. maybe i’ll go anyway. i should probably just go.

[newyorkkiss]

7.13.19

[overdramatic-and-true13]

TS7 Theory

I have a theory that Lover might be the title of the album??

“Babydoll when it comes to A Lover (album name), I promise that you’ll never find another like ME! (First single from album. Obvs).”

This goes along with the theory that’s out there that this album is a mixture of all her genres. Everything that makes Taylor who she is.

Which may link to the lyric “like a Rainbow with all of the colors”

A Rainbow is one object, but it’s made up of all different colors, different pieces that combine and melt into each other to create one thing that’s just simply beautiful.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[missinvisibleandco]

"Color Story"

#colorlove. (7.13.19)

[wheres-the-bear]

Summer Run, 7.13.19

After skipping Thursday and Friday, Kristine and I decided we needed to finish Week 4 a week late, but early on Saturday morning. I am always so thankful when she agrees to get up at 6:00 or 6:30 on a weekend morning, and I was equally thankful when she liked going a downhill route better than the uphill route we had originally started training with.

There was an intense hill right at the beginning, but then it was downhill for the middle portion of the run. And, as usual, even with me anticipating it, the anxiety that hit during that first run made me want to lay down and cry in the middle of the road. My pace slowed to a walk as Kristine pressed on past me, over the hill, and around the corner. I shook my head, trying to maintain a fast-paced walk, as I breathed in through my nose, out through my mouth, trying to talk myself down from the anxiety gripping tight in my chest. Why? I thought angrily. Why do I do this?

We decided to go over another street to give ourselves more ground to run, and as soon as the terrain changed to a slight hill, I slowed my pace way down. Again, Kristine pushed past me like a champ. I told myself I couldn’t quit this time, and even though my running was more like a speed walk, I made it through those five grueling minutes.

The next two runs, I would do the same thing I did on Monday. I would slow down or wimp out, but I only let myself stop long enough to catch a deep breath, and then I would pick it up again. My mind wanted to look at Kristine and tell me I’d never have her mental strength to push through the things that sucked. My thoughts went straight to the negative when I quit before a hill that I knew had been coming, and it seemed helpless to train my brain to be tougher.

“When are you getting wireless headphones?” Someone on Instagram had asked me. I didn’t want to tell them I was waiting on the wireless PowerBeats by Dre to release because it’s a steep purchase for a pair of headphones, so I just responded with an, “I know, right? I really need to cave and just get some!” And I’m aware it won’t solve my problems. I’m aware I’ll probably experience the same anxiety I did when wearing wired headphones - too much noise and disconnection from the outside, natural world. But I needed to find something, anything, that would get me away from the things that rushed into my mind when things got hard. It’s my next best guess, but recommendations welcomed.

[opheliarot]

you treat your anxiety like a viper like it’s something separate from you, beyond your control. you treat it like the venom it breeds isn’t yours, like the wellspring is not somewhere inside you.

when you begin to set your bridges on fire i finally let you and you burn me for it. you expect me to be a snake charmer, but my body is not a rehabilitation center my tenderness is not 20mg of lexapro it is not my job to suck venom from your wounds.

you’re dancing on the stage of your own self-made misery, a prima donna of flagrant self-destruction -- but i cannot unmemorize the calories in a cough drop. my hunger might still be a black hole, but at least i recognize my own event horizon.

[fruitxbat]

7.13.19