#A true story

[emeraldotter]

hosting acumen

[headlesssamurai]

//hacksaw_ridge/ //dir_mel_gibson/2016/

[3leafstem]

You ever pspsps a tiger?

Day Eighteen of 100 Days of Deathduo; Icee literally pspsps' a tiger.

[idkeither223]

my closeted to even myself ass when prince louis was born, on the sofa to my family: it’d be nice if someone in the royal family was gay,, just because,, even if it was someone less important like louis

a number of years later: netflix makes young royals

me now older and wiser: hooray for queers!

[whereonceiwasfire]

Tumblr storytime because I have not stopped thinking about this for days. So I went into this antique jewelry store the other day (like it was CALLED Antique Jewelry Store) and I'm wandering around going "Wow, hey, there's a lot more here than antique jewelry, what a quirky little place, I like it." All of a sudden, there's this corner in the back I did NOT realize was there and there's a big ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK sign. Which. Okay antique jewelry store, well played, I'm curious. So I go inside this back section and all of a sudden everything is dark and there are haunted dolls hanging from the ceiling and a cabinet from an asylum and these horror dioramas, and I'm like "I do not see any jewelry and also I do not want to touch anything because danger." But this room just keeps GOING, and I have very little self preservation instinct, so I keep going right along with it. Well there's ANOTHER room even further in the back, and A VOICE calls out from inside it. When I tell you I nearly passed from this life into the next, it scared me so bad. But I poke my head in like any good protagonist should, and it's the store's resident witch. They complimented my drip, I contemplated buying this cute little ghosty painting, I checked out a real human skull, and then I went home. The end.

[hornblower-diary]

If you thought Hornblower was on HMS Justinian first, then you are wrong. Convince yourself:

[insomniac-dot-ink]

I Missed You

I came late to the realization you can be tender with people recklessly, or maybe I came early to the moment you realize the ecstasy of earnestness. Repeated like a soldier from the trenches, holding the face of someone that’s managed to wedge up into your ribcage and settled under the heart: It is an honor knowing you. A pleasure to have met. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to tell people the way I love, friendship as the whole meal, dizzyingly lovely. 

One of the joys of my youth was a trip to a set of islands, a group of young people busing and then boating and forfeited to drinking and pantomiming bad college movies. That is not the story. The story is the bus ride back, an enormous rumbling thing with aisles like Madeline and the two straight lines. I was making a friend, I had been in the process of making a friend, easing into a newness in the standard way of planting and watering and watching it grow.

You though, my friend, were seated away and it shouldn’t matter. It was only an hour. An hour of someone else I didn’t know and placing my head against the window thinking the time was wasted. I wanted to talk to you again about the concepts of time and childhood and watching My Little Pony on VHS. I wanted to waste some words on you instead.

I got off the bus after an hour or so, and blurted out, foolishly, silly, accidentally: “I missed you.” I missed you. I missed you. It was only an hour, and I missed you. My face burned. Children think the world ends with their personal actions, and our culture says sincerity is a form of sinking. Vulnerability as an offering up of the throat. We met only weeks ago, I missed you, it was only an hour apart, I missed you.

They, you, my friend blinked back tears and said: “Really? I missed you too.”

[residentshitcunt]

[moshieee]

Having a dyslexia/adhd? moment is trying to write "good job", then going back realizing you wrote "good jod" thinking it's funny. showing it to a friend and then them showing you that you actually wrote "goob jod".

laughing at that and, showing another friend only for them to reveal that you are both hopeless dyslexics and that it actually reads "goop jood"

[skyward-floored]

Me watching Frozen: *thinking about IAU Warriors the entire time*

[sentimentalslut]

kicked out of the bar for attempting to unionize the workers after my server told me they don’t get a shift drink

[cogentranting]

The Barista at Starbucks: do you want a stopper in that?

Me, an intelligent, grown woman, answering like it's the riddle of the Sphinx: I, um... uh.. ah... n- um ... yeah.

[phierecycled]

The sound Whizzer makes after Marvin goes “After he left;” just screams “Bitch, you and I both saw you put that suitcase on the ground.”.

[theothin]

Adding to that detective fiction post, there are entire genres that would have been lost to time if a parody work didn't become famous. Two good examples are Lucien of Samosata's 'A True History' and Jonathan Swift's 'Gulliver's Travels'.

fascinating!

[thetisming]

man Charity Angél Dawson sounds a bit weird i wonder w-

oh.

[kelcipher]