#tumblr storytime

[whereonceiwasfire]

Tumblr storytime because I have not stopped thinking about this for days. So I went into this antique jewelry store the other day (like it was CALLED Antique Jewelry Store) and I'm wandering around going "Wow, hey, there's a lot more here than antique jewelry, what a quirky little place, I like it." All of a sudden, there's this corner in the back I did NOT realize was there and there's a big ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK sign. Which. Okay antique jewelry store, well played, I'm curious. So I go inside this back section and all of a sudden everything is dark and there are haunted dolls hanging from the ceiling and a cabinet from an asylum and these horror dioramas, and I'm like "I do not see any jewelry and also I do not want to touch anything because danger." But this room just keeps GOING, and I have very little self preservation instinct, so I keep going right along with it. Well there's ANOTHER room even further in the back, and A VOICE calls out from inside it. When I tell you I nearly passed from this life into the next, it scared me so bad. But I poke my head in like any good protagonist should, and it's the store's resident witch. They complimented my drip, I contemplated buying this cute little ghosty painting, I checked out a real human skull, and then I went home. The end.

[newtsoftheworldunite]

My dad is telling the story of the time he was twelve years old and flying as an unaccompanied minor for the first time but didn’t want to leave his pet king snake, Prince, alone at home so he put the snake in his jacket pocket and got on the plane. He did make sure to not let the snake out on the plane because he knew the flight attendants might be mad about it but then when his grandparents came to pick him up he was like “Oh yeah I brought Prince with me!” and for some reason they weren’t as excited as he was.

He also apparently secretly brought the snake to school a lot.

[its-not-a-pen]

[餘知傳] The 2nd Century Warlord (Part 1)

based on the story by @romanceyourdemons

art by @its-not-a-pen

first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all

third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldn’t decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below

fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy he’s fighting have really similar names and it’s finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now we’re stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?

fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and i’m pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lord’s wife and leaves

sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city he’s taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it

seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, and he isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but i’m really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him

eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night

End of Part 1

part 2

This comic was made independently from the creator, I'm just a fan and these are my own interpretations.

Notes under the cut:

the title 餘知傳 [the Story of Yu Zhi], is the styled name of the Second Century Warlord. I translated 餘知 as [plentiful knowledge] since he's defined by a surplus of knowledge but a deficit in luck. It's also great for fish-based puns since it's a homophone. As a nice parallel, Loser Liege Lord's banner is a carp ;))). the art style was inspired by vintage Chinese comics.

The story is set during the Three Kingdoms period, (220 to 280 AD) natural disasters, infighting and civil unrest had dissolved the previous Han Dynasty, leading to a violent free-for-all. I based the clothes on the previous Eastern Han styles, mainly because there just weren't a lot of contemporary references from the 3K period (and it only lasted like, 60 years). I always strive for historical accuracy, however, the Han Dynasty was over 400 years long and some sources don't do a great job separating out the different fashions, so I apologise for any mistakes that occur.

2. there aren't a ton of drawings on what Han children looked like, but in general ancient kids hairstyles are pretty consistent. 9-15 yo boys had shaved heads with two little top knots, girls had natural hair in braids/buns.

3. the crossbow (back left) makes a cameo, it was associated with Zhuge Liang, famous real-life strategist from the 3K era.

4. the LLL and his wife thank the Warlord, (a noblewoman on a battlefield??? scandalous!). it shows the LLL enjoys the unconventional and the wife is not as timid as she appears. I thought it would be funny to make them look as Background Character (tm) as possible.

5. I based the wizard's design on sages from mythology. (Hey, he's not a total fraud, he invented gunpowder 800 years before the Tang dynasty!) Nice little character moment for the LLL who is shielding his wife.

6. What do soldiers do while they're waiting for 8 hours? (<-from the right) playing knucklebones with pebbles, whittling a little horse, feeding sparrows, gossiping with neighbour, drinking from his gourd, napping. A minor warlord can't afford to keep a professional army so they're most likely conscripted farmers who've had to buy their own weapons and armour, hence why they look so unimpressive.

7. LLL offers the Warlord a bitten peach. Inspired by the legend of Mizi Xia who bit into a delicious peach and gave it to the Emperor so he could taste it was well. "Bitten peach" was a byword for homosexuality in ancient China. I thought it would be SO funny if the LLL was actually smooth af and the Warlord was a like a teenaged girl crushing for the first time. He's desperate to taste that peach but is too timid to reach out >;))) man has zero game. negative game, even. truely the PS4 of homosexuals. RIP to the assassin in the back corner who was forced to watch the most awkward, cringe-fail attempt at flirting in the history of china play out.

8. this is what zero peach does to a mf. UnU

[bylrndgm]

JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS (2020) // JULIE E OS FANTASMAS (2011) 1.01 - Wake Up // 1.01 - Enfrentando Fantasmas -> Julie meets the Band.

[cyberpunkaddict]

"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." - Langston Hughes

“I love you to the moon and back.”

Prologue, Part 1

[cleapallea]

ASTRO: YOUR SUN AND NOTABLE EVENT THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE

+analyzing the birth chart of Albert Einstein ‼️🗣️

+info and my master list

Your sun in the birth chart tells you what you did or What happened to you during that age or time. This may be linked to your success and life path :D. So for this rule, You have to look for degrees of your sun and what they are represents. AND I have to remind you that there are a lot of interpretation, but to keep you in a state it should be linked to what's general meaning, or -what's below the surface .

"Everyone has a purpose!"

You heard me right :D

I will give a memorable and very well-known individual for this session:

Yup! Albert Einstein at your service~

Albert Einstein at the age of 23 during 1990s —contributed to atomic theory, and he was the first man to prove that matter is made of atoms. And the rest is history of his ideas.

so his sun is in 23°, yes you heard me right. His sun is in Pisces in Zodiac sign.

and during the year of 1990 when he was 23 yr old at that time. He worked hard in laboratory, but he skipped lectures. However, he was credited with unexceptional record. ( That's how Pisces moves, aka "I didn't know anything at all, but you should see my crown.") They are like Virgos but in messy manner so people with Virgo asc and sun as well act like this.

So continue, After he published his works, continued making the year his time by studying and putting the God's creating and mind (how the mind works, how God connect us (universe) or so called the theory of relativity and E=mc², and so much more. He was also worked as a teacher and artist before by telling his story. So I guess? God really has a plan. In astrology the tenth house represents the social life or anything related to public by means.

XXX This analysis also dedicated to God's Glory XXX

✎ Once I'm done with my notes gonna do free readings, but I will grant you two choices only: Career (future and Possible Love life.)

—Plagiarism is A Crime—

[puffpastrycrimewatch]

Let me start by saying this did not happen it is NOT real, this was an example they used for sexual harassment in the work place!! (°ロ°)

Now, imma read you a little scary story where I'm weird asf

One day Mac's coworker Puff approaches him during his lunch break. They talk for a couple minutes, and Puff slowly closes the distance between them,backing Mac into a corner and leaning in for a kiss. Mac puts his hands out to stop her and quickly backs away. Mac looks uncomfortable: He has his hands out in front of him, and he appears to be looking for a way out.

Just then, puff noticed another coworker approaching. She quickly steps away and greets the other coworker as they pass. Before puff walks off, she grabs Mac's butt and says, "I'll get you next time."

.

.

.

That's crazy right, like what!? Diabolical!!!! That is WORD FOR WORD what was written 😭☠️

Real evil puff be like 😭

I hate how close up this gif is

[the-cimmerians]

a storytime story. Not my story, it's my friend's, but she doesn't go here so I'm sharing for her. We'll call her Mara. Mara is a high-femme, lovely queer girl from a wealthy family in the southern US, but when I met her she'd been living in California for many years, chugging through her postgraduate education in Women's Studies. She rarely went home, because being at home was always a bit of a fraught experience: not unendurable (because to most heteronormative casual viewers the radiant queerness of a high-femme is pretty much indistinguishable from a quirky beauty queen waiting for the right football quarterback to sweep her off her feet), but still--not the most fun. Yet every once in a while, Mara would have a fit of 'dutiful daughter'-itis, and go home to mend some fences and keep some peace.

Mara's mother had often asked her to come with her to philanthropic events, but Mara had always said no. On this trip, however, Mara's mother had purchased a full table as an event sponsor, and she cajoled Mara into going with her. For those of you who haven't ever attended such an event, they are all different, and yet terrifyingly all the same (and I say this not as an attendee, but as an event-runner for various nonprofits; an event-runner who, fair warning, hates everything about these events, and this part of nonprofit work). There is some form of lower-calorie food (chicken or fish on greens with a very light citrus-fruit dressing is de rigeur, along with some sort of fruit-based airy parfait served in the smallest and most elegant glasses imaginable for dessert), usually an emcee (occasionally entertaining, but always inoffensive to the assembled guests), sometimes speakers (high-profile or famous women on a local or national level depending on the 'get' of the organization in question, or extremely well-spoken young people or teens for youth-serving organizations--with the youth in question being very carefully coached), and an 'ask'--the fundraising portion of the event, where the wealthy attendees compete with the rest of their friends and enemies in the social scene to be the most gracious and beneficent person in the room.

And there is gossip. So much gossip.

Poor Mara knew enough to expect some of this (mostly due to listening to me complain bitterly about how awful these events are), but there were aspects for which she was completely unprepared. Her mother had filled her sponsorship table with all of her closest friends, and the 'social hour' before the event started in earnest was a haze of white wine and a constant stream of excessively perfumed women dressed in full southern socialite chic, coming by the table to air-kiss cheeks and say how it's been ages since they've seen each other and what a darling ensemble, where on earth did you get it? and who does your hair now?--you must tell me, it's simply scrumptious--you look incredible, we really must do lunch some time soon--

...and the moment the woman or women in question moved on, the table, as a whole, in excited, urgent-whispered voices, would drag the everloving fuck out of every single lady they'd just been gushing over.

"Did you see how botched her last lift was? I hardly recognized her--I'm surprised she recognized me, with her eyes yanked back like that--" "so terrible, but she did go to the cheapest surgeon in town--husband has money troubles, you know--"

"Didn't expect to see her here, but I suppose you have to go somewhere to show off that large a collection of paste jewels--" "oh, stop, you wicked girl! But you're right, of course--and she gives herself such airs, like we don't all know--"

"Poor dear looks exhausted--apparently keeping up with her pool boy isn't easy at her age--" "Can't say that I blame her; that Carlos, have you seen him? Of course, she's hardly his only client. I've been dying for a pool, but my Henry just won't--"

"Quite a plucky little attitude for someone whose husband just left her for his twenty-two year old secretary--" "And after she put him through college and law school--I heard she's not even going to get to keep the house. She really should have sprung for a better lawyer--"

"I can't believe she still thinks she can fit into that dress, with all the weight she's packed on--" "Truly grotesque--just ghastly! Seems like last summer at the fat farm didn't do her as much good as one would have hoped--"

::giggle:: ::giggle:: ::giggle::

Mara was horrified, sitting there with a bland, polite smile frozen on her face, with her white gloves and vintage pillbox hat and charming little clutch bag, her seamed stockings and her kitten heels and her classic red lipstick and pin-curls (because in true unquenchable femme spirit, she had taken this occasion as an opportunity for dress-up, an opportunity for fun and play and sexy whimsy--a Gene-Tierney-does-pin-up-girl kind of vibe), utterly unable to see how to extricate herself from this terrible situation.

Another woman glided away from the table, coyly waving heavily-beringed fingers. "Yes, Darling," Mara's mother said, coyly waving back. "See you soon! Kiss-kiss! Love to Laurent!" She sat down and hissed to the cabal at the table: "Ha! Her husband just gave her an STD."

The woman to Mara's left leaned forward excitedly. "Really? Two-door or four-door?--wait, if it was the latest Aston Martin, I'm going to literally perish of envy--"

And that was the tipping point--Mara fled. Walked until she found a suitably divey coffee shop. Had a coffee and a slice of peach pie, and flirted with a soft Butch waitress until the world seemed less dire.

[valeriepaddy]

Me as a writer at 3pm: I have nothing to write about ...

Me as a writer at 3am: I am the master of Writing ...

[thatrandomlemononyourcounter1]

I may actually cry

I was driving around, bored, as usual.

I decided to drive to my old neighborhood.

Now, a little bit of background, when I lived there, there was a neighborhood cat named Maybelle. She was an outdoor cat, and came to our house all the time. When we moved, she literally tried to hop in our van. But we couldn't take her, cause she wasn't our cat.

Now, back to today.

I was driving around, and I passed by my old house, and there was Maybelle.

I was shocked, cause I genuinely thought she had passed away by now.

But nope!

I rolled down my window and called her name and SHE

SHE RECOGNIZED ME

AFTER 6 YEARS SHE RECOGNIZED ME

I immediately parked the car and pet her and played with her for like 20 minutes

BUT I

[camzverse]

suddenly got smacked with the urge to draw fnaf characters as my little ponies What the fuck. whered that even come from. i dont even know how to draw my little ponies. i mean im gonna do it anygays but what the freak

[paro-h]

Homecoming

This is a place of comfort and safety.

This a place where families are whole.

This a place utopian and endless.

This is someone’s soul.

Holding forever a gentle gaze.

Holding yourself in warm embrace.

Looking through a muslin haze.

Open with a smiling face.

[oouroboross]

How I manifested SP in less than 24h

Disclaimer: this is not a method, just my experience

The story actually starts 2 days before it begins, you see, I wasn't interested in looking for a partner, I was completely uninterested in romance and I saw it as a bother.

I went for a walk and decided to visit the new antique shop in my town.

The first thing I saw, as I walked in, was the cashier, a young man. I didn't even see him properly, but I felt the lightning strike in my heart, I pushed my feelings far away inside, as I didn't want to fall for anyone, I wasn't in a place for love and also it was unplanned, and I like to have my life calculated a bit more.

Even though I knew that he liked me too, we didn't really talk nor flirt, so I left the store and went back to my regular life forgetting about him.

Yet the situation broke something inside me, and I started thinking about getting into a relationship.

First I decided to break the old story.

I was always telling myself that there is no need to segregate my clothes in the drawer as I'm the only one seeing it, and that once I get into a relationship (that was supposed to be never) I'd finally segregate them.

Now as I decided that I want a partner I started affirming that I have a boyfriend, and I segregated my clothes because now I "had" a bf right😌💁🏻‍♀️?

Then I put on my favourite dress and went shopping. I pushed myself into the more crowded places and affirmed that I have a bf and he is the best blahblahblah

As I went back home I made a Tinder account (tbh it was purely to make friends bc I finished school and that finished most of my friendships)

And I found the guy from the antique shop, swiped right just for the fun of it and it was a match.

We spend the night talking on discord, we met in person the next day and since then we are seeing each other every day.

He is everything I've ever wished for, and I manifested him in less than 24h

I'm in a very loving relationship

Fun facts

We made our Tinder accounts the same day, and he was praying for a girl at the same time I was manifesting a bf

[histhoughtslately]

[sharmisthaaaaa]

life was good when dadu/dadi/nanu/nani. started conversation with- ek baar ki baat hai....

[imaginarycyberpunk2023]

OC: Esme Richards belongs to beloved @dustymagpie and OC: Macha Richter is mine

These queens were pissed bc we forgot both their birthdays so they finally got to go out but had to give us a friendly wave!