#A.S.S. forever

[smytherines]

My new proudest moment is when Joey Richter did the Broadway.4me instagram takeover and showed his setup right as I typed A.S.S. in bio in the chat

[digitalintelligigencearchive]

Do you prefer to be called by your project title, first, or last name? - Dr Anon

Well I'm not the only one the project title refers to so either of the last two will be preferable.

[jasperthejester]

you know what i feel like we as a saf fandom are completely forgetting about?

that time travel canonically exists in the saf universe

chimera shows up in wayward guide for the untrained eye as the main company of miner mole, as well as, in the 7th episode, the comic book hero detective dark. this connects flop stoppers as well to the universe. where have a time machine. and go back in time

now, granted, flop stoppers takes place decades after the events of spies are forever, and probably after the death of agent curt mega, considering chimeras still going strong, but still

also, considering a movie studio has access to the time machine, either 1) time travel has been around for a little while, enough for the government to allow certain restrictions but still available (not to the general public, but is still available, 2) the machine was made by a nongovernment job and is sold on the black market or by word of mouth (ie, chimera made it and sold it out to people), or 3) the movie studio just had a scientific branch that worked one time travel

either way time travel would still very rare, expensive, and unknown, but flop stoppers would not the only example of it being used

i personally lean towards number 2 as an explanation, and either chimera or some other group worked to make it

and here, i wonder if barb had any part in it

we know that charlie (guy who worked on the bomb curt threw) ended up working for some rich guy (solve it squad back in biz), so its not that far-fetched to believe barb left a.s.s to work for some other place

maybe after the events of saf, and maybe after curts death, she left, changing her passions from creating a surveillance system to time travel. maybe she felt she could change things if she could go back time, maybe she felt she could make it all right

idk i just think its a really fun idea that should be played with more

[draven-the-great-is-not-okay]

D.C and A.S.S forever

[potions-and-angels]

“d.c. and a.s.s forever” made me laugh it was so unserious

[hatchetfield-omegaverse]

Hey, I completely understand if you don’t want to talk a ton about SaF(this is hatchetfield centric afterall) but could we know a bit about Agent Curt Mega and Owen Carvour in this au? You referenced Curt in your Howard Goodman writing, so I was wondering how they fit into this world.

Omg yes I can!! I love saf so much. I will give curtwen a happy ending in this lol.

Spies Are Forever Omegaverse Headcanons: Curt & Owen!!!

Now, you might think that Alphas would be considered the best spies in this world, but you would be wrong. Betas are the top choice for spying. They lack both heats and ruts, meaning that there's not chance of anything bad happening on a mission, and they're more neutral scents means that they can use pheromone perfumes to go in either direction.

However, none of that information ever stopped Curt Mega from becoming one of America's top agents despite being an omega.

He's managed to fool just about everyone into believing that he's a Beta. Everyone except Cynthia Houston, that is.

Cynthia honestly couldn't give a rats ass about him being an Omega. She doesn't care what your second gender is so long as you do your job. However, the policy is that Omega's can't work for A.S.S. so she makes sure it stays a secret so she won't lose her best agent.

Was under the impression that Owen was a Beta for the first year or so of them working together.

Owen Carvour is a Type 1 Alpha, something that would make most parents proud.

The Carvours weren't most parents, however.

Alice and Harold Carvour, both Betas, were two of England's best spies in their hay day. They married, not for love, but because they knew that together they would be an unstoppable team.

Their run as spies was cut short, however, when Harold was shot in the back. He lived, but was paralyzed. He was forced to retire, Alice going with him in solidarity.

They then turned their efforts to a then 3 year old Owen, voting to mold him into the perfect spy.

Their love was only given if Owen was exceptional in his training.

Failure wasn't an option: the punishment for even being slightly below expectations was cruel.

So you can imagine their disappointment when Owen presented as an Alpha.

Not wanting all their efforts to go to waste, they forced him to hide his scent and forged papers saying that he was a Beta.

For years he wouldn't let anyone close for fear of them finding out his secret.

Until he met Curt Mega.

Curt was revealed as an Omega when he pheromone perfume wore off while they're were held captive.

Owen doubled his efforts to find a way out, terrified of what their captors would do to his best friend when they realized that he was an Omega.

Later on, once safe at their hotel, Curt would ask Owen what he was going to do now that he knew what he planned to do.

Unexpectedly Owen said that he would keep Curts secret if Curt would keep his.

It was then that Curt realize that Owen's scent had changed during their escape. He no longer smelt like a Beta.

They'd have a long talk about everything when they got home, but for now, knowing that Curts secret was safe, that he wasn't alone, was enough. And in this bliss, he kissed Owen.

This got really long, so I'm going to stop it here. I hope you like this Anon, if you'd like kore hcs about them as a couple, just let me know!

[justarandombrit]

36. “I'm lost without you.” - Curtwen (Spies Are Forever)

Owen had had a lot of partners in his line of work. Or, depending on how you want to look at it, he'd had none.

If you'd have asked Owen how many he thought he'd had, he'd have, a, grilled you on who you were working for and why you would need that information, and, b, told you he'd only had one.

Sure, he may have worked with some of the most talented agents from a dozen countries, but there was only one man who Owen Carvour ever considered a partner, in both senses of the word.

Agent Curt Mega of the American Secret Service, with his confidence and charm, and the self-assured swagger that would usually tip Owen off to an egotist, was the one man Owen ever truly trusted.

Where Owen was sharp and brusque, Curt was witty and charismatic. Where Owen was disconnected and reserved, Curt was proud and extraverted. Where Owen was meticulous and calculated, Curt was hasty and reckless. Where Owen was cold, Curt was warm.

They were the ying to each other’s yang, and who could blame darkness for falling for light? As it turned out, quite a lot of people.

Owen shook off all thoughts of his and Curt’s secret, and the potentially disastrous consequences of it getting out. He needed to focus on the mission at hand, besides, that would never happen.

Slipping soundlessly past a couple of security guards, Owen ducked behind swords with blades the width of his forearm, and edged around various maces and antique guns. He didn't even entertain the idea of taking one with him, he knew his own pistol packed a punch far greater than any he'd find in this museum.

He also knew Curt definitely would've. In fact, due to the gap on a table a small dagger should definitely have filled, he suspected that Curt already had. Right. Curt. He was supposed to be rescuing Curt.

Owen blinked as hard as he could, he knew Curt was waiting for him, and he desperately needed to snap back to reality.

He pulled up his watch, yet another piece of tech far superior (and more top secret) than any other in the building, maybe in the world.

He'd spent enough time perusing through the floor plans for the museum that he didn't really require the map MI6 provided him, but it never hurt to check.

After a few seconds, he'd verified his route, and from there it took no time at all to make it to the room he assumed Curt, and, incidentally, the secret weapon plans he'd stolen, were located.

Ever melodramatic, before slipping into the room Owen applied a quick fake moustache, just for the hell of it.

He took a deep breath and flung open the door.

Half an hour later, Curt and Owen were careering down the corridors and halls of the museum, dodging cabinets full of anachronistic firearms, and occasionally pushing the occasional suit of armour behind them to shake off their pursuers.

Curt had taken about three wrong turns in the span of ten minutes, which Owen thought was less a reflection of Curt’s intelligence, and more of a testament to how few resources A.S.S supplied its agents with.

However, he couldn't be too mad with the organisation, as it did mean Curt kept having to lean over his shoulder to check Owen’s map. Or, even better, rely on him for directions.

“It's the–” Owen glanced at the floor plan. “– second left!”

Curt fired a bullet over his shoulder, causing the man chasing them to fall to the ground.

“Thanks, O, you're a lifesaver… literally. God knows I'm lost without you.”

If Owen had been the type to get flustered, he certainly would have been now. Instead, he set his jaw and pointedly avoided eye contact.

“You can say that again.”

18/5/24

I don't know how I feel about this one. It was a bit long, and my first time writing from Owen’s perspective so it's kinda clunky, but it's not the worst. Also, THROWN IN BACK LIKE A BURLAP SACK-

[astronomodome]

Every once and a while I think about gridaph and go crazy. and then I’m normal again and then I go crazy again. a viscous circle

omg so freakin true. one day i will be oh im normal im normal and then either of them will casually mention the other and ill go nuts. anyway did you know that grian starts off his video today by noticing the A.S.S. sheep in the sky, flying over to it, and pondering it for a bit before deciding that zedaph's motives are a mystery to him and flying away.

birds and sheeps hug and kiss forever

[tastethesetears]

D.C. + A.S.S. FOREVER

[szollibisz]

au idea because spies are forever is constantly rotating in my head, and I never use tumblr, so I couldn't think of where else to put this... follows the climax of the real show, but instead of shooting Owen, Curt wipes Owen's memory of ever being a spy. With a new A.S.S given identity as a british immigrant who got in an unfortunate plane accident, Owen begins working as a local community theater actor and living a normal life. (continued in part two)

Ooooooh this is so cool anon <3333

[mythuzalasheir3]

HEAR ME HEAR ME OUT: TATI THE VAMPIRE SLAYER AU

A mashup AU of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Spies Are Forever.

Loosely post SAF canon.

Tati is working for the A.S.S. now and when Cynthia first meets her, she gives Tati the Vampyr book and makes herself known to be a Watcher.

Curt and Barb get involved in some shenanigans causing them to find out about vampires, demons and the like.

They sort of start a secret paranormal branch of the agency (that later becomes PEIP SSSSHHHHHH) and aside from near death experiences, everything is hunky dory. Barb experiments with magic in her science (think Cassandra from The Librarians). Curt tries to move on from Owen.

Then Owen shows back up and drama ensues.

Basically Owen was turned by Chimera post fall (at least a third of his DMA kills were out of hunger) and he’s looking to get his revenge on Curt for killing him twice (no one realised he was a vampire). Curt differentiates between ‘his’ Owen and the vampire he became by almost exclusively referring to him in the present as the DMA (A la Angel v Angelus). He tries to kill Curt, but instead is incapacitated by the girls.

Barb makes a chip to curb Owen’s more murderous tendencies like Spike’s in s4. Owen helps them defeat demons and other vampires because what the hell else is he going to do now he’s effectively a neutered vampire?

Eventually, Curt starts feeling like Owen is coming back to himself and falls in love with him again. Owen has never quite stopped loving Curt, but if you confront him about it, he’ll threaten you.

This leads to a hot mess of them ‘trying again’ without really confronting what happened.

That ends horribly to say the least, and Owen goes to get his soul back, become some semblance of the man Curt loved again. He does, we rejoice in the happy Curtwen ending.

OH RIGHT TATI’S THE MAIN CHARACTER (sorry got distracted fixing Curtwen’s relationship)/j

So, she’s gonna be the badass Russian we know and love, just with added monster ass kicking power.

Her Watcher died getting her out of the KGB and she hasn’t had one since. Until Cynthia, who lost a slayer years ago and swore off that part of her work until Tati showed up.They start off very ‘I’m only tolerating you because we have to work together’ but then grow into mutual respect and eventually friendship, Cynthia’s more loath to admit it than Tati is, but they will deny it if directly asked.

Cynthia sees all of the gang as her surrogate children. Barb, the sweet one. Curt, the screwup (affectionate). Tati, the eldest. Owen, the black sheep. (So does Mama Mega.)

Tati’s journey is one of learning to not shoulder all her burdens alone, relying on people to help her when life gets too much. Because she’s pretty much always had to bottle it all up and carry all that on her own because that’s ‘just how she copes’, but through everyone else opening up and working through their baggage together, she gradually joins in.

Also mutual Tatibarb pining, as they’re trying to keep it quiet, but Curt notices and almost threatens to lock them in a room together until they talk to each other about their feelings.

ALSO TATIBARB Slayer gf/Witch gf supremacy. Also Barb would 150% resurrect Tati from the dead.

[chaotic-goodsir]

Tried to make a playlist of songs I think January 1998 AU Owen would actually know and like, and yeah, I overthought this one far too much 😅 Song list, lyrics and some headcanons below the cut.

I'm working on one of these for Curt too which I'll post soon!

If driving fast cars you like, if low bars you like

*

1. Anything Goes - Cole Porter

If old hymns you like, if bare limbs you like

If Mae West you like or me undressed you like 

Why, nobody will oppose

One of the first musical songs Owen remembers hearing. Also a song about breaking taboos and changing times which gained more meaning as he got older.

2. There's No Business Like Show Business - Annie Get Your Gun

Yesterday they told you you would not go far

That night you open and there you are

Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star

Let's go on with the show

The first time Owen set foot in a theatre, aged about 10, he decided he wanted to become a actor, but expectations got in the way. After he started working for MI6 this song became a sort of private joke to him, since some of the lyrics could also apply to spying and later working for Chimera.)

3. You Call Everybody Darling - Andrews Sisters

You call everybody darling

And everybody calls you darling too

You don't mean what you're saying

It's just a game you're playing

But you'll find someone else can play the game as well as you

Curt once joked that this song reminds him of Owen, and now Owen is sentimental about it.

4. I Get a Kick Out of You - Frank Sinatra

Practically everything leaves me totally cold

The only exception I know is the case

When I'm out on a quiet spree 

Fighting vainly the old ennui 

And I suddenly turn and see your fabulous face 

Song for Curt, which Curt also likes.

5. Black Coffee - Sarah Vaughan

I'm feelin' mighty lonesome

Haven't slept a wink

I walk the floor and watch the door 

And in between I drink

Song for playing while smoking alone and miserable in a hotel room at 3am before/after a mission, even if the lyrics are technically about being a housewife.

6. Love You Didn't Do Right By Me - Rosemary Clooney

Love, you didn't do right by me

You planned a romance that just hadn't a chance 

And I'm through

Song for playing while smoking alone and miserable after the only person you've ever let yourself fall in love with abandons you.

6. I Could Have Danced All Night - Ella Fitzgerald

I'll never know what made it so exciting 

Why all at once my heart took flight 

I only know when he began to dance with me 

I could have danced, danced, danced all night

From the first musical Owen managed to see on Broadway and the first one he saw with Curt, some time in the 50s. This version of the song is from album they bought in 1963 for Ms Mega.

7. My Funny Valentine - Sarah Vaughan

Is your figure less than Greek?

Is your mouth a little weak?

When you open it to speak, are you smart?

But don't change a hair for me

Not if you care for me

Song for Curt, which Curt does not like.

8. America - Simon & Garfunkel

She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy

I said, "Be careful, his bowtie is really a camera"

"Toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat"

"We smoked the last one an hour ago"

Song for Curt and being able to travel again (Owen spent a large part of the 60s in either the safehouse or a high security A.S.S facility) and being an expat in the US.

9. Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles 

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name

Nobody came

Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave 

No one was saved

Curt insists that Owen should like the Beatles because he's British. Owen does not like the Beatles. With the exception of this song, which he has complicated feelings about - he's always been curious about people and their lives, and it's one of the things that drew him to spying. And acting. And Chimera.

10. Cabaret - Cabaret

Life is a Cabaret, old chum

It's only a Cabaret, old chum 

And I love a Cabaret.

One of Owen's favourite broadway songs.

10. Waterloo - ABBA

Waterloo, I was defeated you won the war

Waterloo, promise to love you forevermore

Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to

Waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you

Owen will not admit to anyone that he likes this song, but Curt knows he loves it.

11. Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush

How could you leave me 

When I needed to possess you? 

I hated you, I loved you, too 

Curt makes fun of Owen for liking this song because it's dramatic and angsty and 'classic books are boring.' Owen thinks that Curt just doesn't appreciate intellectual art, or pay attention to lyrics.

12. This Charming Man - The Smiths

Why pamper life's complexity 

When the leather runs smooth 

On the passenger seat? 

I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear 

This man said, "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care" 

Song for Curt, first overheard playing in the cafe Curt and Owen like to visit.

13. Tom's Diner - Suzanne Vega

Oh, this rain it will continue 

Through the morning as I'm listening 

I am thinking of your voice

And of the midnight picnic once upon a time 

Before the rain began 

I finish up my coffee and it's time to catch the train

1980-90s song that reminds 1980s-90s Owen of being 1950s Owen.

14. Non, je ne regrette rien - Edith Piaf

Non, je ne regrette rien

Car ma vie 

Car mes joies 

Aujourd'hui 

Ça commence avec toi

Owen once asked Curt to make sure this is played at his funeral. Curt laughed at him for being cliché and pretentious, but he's written it down somewhere to make sure he doesn't forget.

[effiestuart]

HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i think with a slovenian cousin for the stuarts for a hot minute two years ago and then came back and stuck around for two years. it looked pretty and political plots. the only main one i remember, which was not when i joined first but after a bit was an earthquake and someone was making movie poster edits with the royals.

which characters have you written over the years ?

i don't remember the first one's name, but he had a sebastian stan fc for two seconds, but there was a wendy, effie, francisco, yasmin, matilde and sasha

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

all of them? though the one that wasn't planned with matilde pushing arnauld into the pool on nye will forever be a fan favourite

what about other people's plotlines ?

it's just the one thread that lives rent free in my mind, i don't even know what the plot was but it mad a big impact, clearly.

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

matilde, she just walked the fine line between rules and consequences and she had m.i.b. and by default a.s.s.

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

maybe any new year's eve events, those were always fun, which isn't a plotline but still, within them there were plotlines and it was fun to see what outfits people were posting or sending outfit ideas to each other for the ' matching aesthetics ' .

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

nope!

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

sasha and his climb or fumble to grand duchy title in hungary and getting side eyed from the croys from there on out and sasha getting to talk to meixu before february 2030.

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

we'll come back to that, i can't think of anything specific atm maybe when serre told on me for not doing this task so that's why it's being done so very late.

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i'll peep in the discord server

what else would you like to say ?

thank you evy, e and j for keeping such a wonderful group going for so long so thoses of us who joined later could experience it, and all the amazing people in hshq, even if i didn't get to write or talk with everyone, it has been a memorable time and a bubble away from everything going on. and now forever will be associating specific fcs with characters and having way too many haute couture photos saved that i do not know what to do with now.

also, evy edited the manip below but i was too lazy to finish the edit for matilde so, i'll put it all here.

so, farewell hshq!

[curt-mega-saf]

Curt Mega

American Secret Services, Spies are forever.

He/Him.

I’m a independent agent of A.S.S but recently I seem to have found myself… in the future? This town, Hatchetfield, I don’t know much about it but I suppose I’ll just have to figure it out.

I won’t fuck this one up. I’ll be the best fucking spy again.

[Ooc: Curt Mega account. Main account @sleepinginpanic

Also there are technically two Curts on here.

Curt Mega who uses white text and who’s actions are in bold Orange (and red for bugs)

And Director (Curt) Mega who uses purple text and who’s actions are in bold white.

More things might be added later on.]

[punkrockmads]

THE ABBY SIMP SOCIETY SLOGAN

"Welcome to the ASS, where buff babes are goddesses and there’s no such thing as too much fun!! Sinners welcome here!!"

Big thank you to @f-society-arcade for helping create the best slogan known to man!

[necromancercurtau]

Curt Mega is just a normal spy.

Well... that’s not exactly true. 

Curt had a fairly normal childhood. His father ran out on his mother so she raised him herself. It’s an all to common story that you’ve heard a million times before and you’ll probably hear it a million times again.

He got drunk for the first time when he turned 16. Sure, technically illegal, but his mother didn’t care and he was just drinking in the house anyway. He was half way through a bottle of whiskey when is mother let out an ear piercing scream.  

Curt’s head whipped up and he saw a man he had never seen before standing in their house. He drunkenly swung at the man, but his fist went directly through the strangers face. Moments later the man disappears and Curt stares at the place the man had been standing. 

A sob comes from his mother and he rushed to comfort her. After she calmed down enough to speak she shakily explained that that was Curt’s father, but she hadn't heard from the man in years. Curt’s head was much too foggy to ask questions, so he didn’t. 

He passed out and the next morning he didn’t remember a thing.

A few days later a short woman showed up at their door. She introduced herself as Cynthia Houston and told Curt that he’s a Necromancer. Curt, naturally, thought she’s joking, but she’s wasn’t. She told him that she’s a witch and can sense the dark magic in him. She invited him to join the American Secret Service (which is called ASS. Curt is sure there is a joke in there somewhere) and she’ll teach him how to control his powers in exchange for his services.

That was ten years ago. Now he’s one of the best spies in the world. He just also has some... additional use to his agency.