#ALSO IN CASE YOURE CURIOUS THIS TOOK LIKE 2 HOURS IDK HOW I MANAGED TO STAY SO FOCUSSED RGDHBREYD

[lesbianbernardsumner]

I guess its over now, but it couldn’t have been that bad right?! After all, I’m still here, and you all helped me through it!!

alright this is gonna be messy and im not gonna autocorrect/proofread it but heres the essay on why i loved 2020.... While 2020 was, pretty objectively, one of the worst years for modern humanity. The obvious virus and all its, various strands of natural disasters, impending war threat, gender reveal parties, you get the gist. But i would love to just... look back and see how it treated me. See how it ran :). January/Febuary/March - the months are bunched up cause the least amount of stuff happened in them, but thats not to say that the stuff wasnt... good!!!! After all I met my first online friend (that im still friends with of course) @smilez4milez..! I cannot believe you withstood me for so long tbh........... youve been here the whole time!!!! thats obviously an achievemnt!!! Our circumstances for our meeting do not matter... trust me. April - Got my gender transed and i then id’d as demigirl!! and also had a birthday, i turned a whole year..... i believe this was also the time i... started using discord??? yeah, that sounds right :0) May/June - OOOH WEE DISK HOARD AAAAAAAAA. Ahem, Miles got me into Chuck E. Cheese and the Rock-Afire Explosion, i hold those special interests dear and close to my heart. Around the time i also made friends with @teamgay0tix (<3). Miles decided that he was gonna make an animatronic discord server. Titled the Robot Zone, Miles employed Sarah, Me, and another friendo named Teddy as the moderators. Not long after i met... so so many cool and epic people... uh off the top of my head @worthape, @bahrlee, @boredwiththislifetime, @retrowormz, @knave-woods, @verae. Not all of those were met in May/June but yknow gotta save time >:) and im sure im missing someone gdvhbuydhbdyh. WE UH RP’D AS CEC/RAE CHARACTERS!!!!! THAT WAS FUN :)!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE MUCH ELSE TO SAY AS MAY AND JUNE WERE SIMILAR MOTNHS IN TERMS OF FUN. SYHBDREYS. Oh and my laptop broke! So I was on my iPad for about 3 months!! Also my gender got transed AGAIN!!! I then-ID’d as genderfluid :o). July - HI CASPER @arcadecarpetz!!! THIS WAS THE MONTH WE FIRST MET!!! WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT INTERACTION </3. So I got into the beatles late June/early July!! looks at my url lookat how that turned out huh...  Other things that happened during this month include... meeting @lovecore-ashe!!!!! I joined a certain discord server for a certain emoji blog we both happened to follow and... July was great i dunno why im being all stingy with the details etvfertyghdb August - Oh boy!! I discovered some cool epic things about myself (Emp knows.)!! got much better in the art department too!! I believe I also made friemnds with @hmmdotjpg here! They’re cool! Otherwise not much actually happened. Oh and @verae I FUCKING LOVE YOU/p September - HA! Here is when I got my shiny new laptop :), and with it i also got into Clone High!! Started to also get into Yellow Submarine, a movie which, I enjoy :). And a certain yellow submarine insta post got me and @arcadecarpetz to meet again!!! Now we’re on much better terms!! heh-. This month I left the Robot Zone, no matter how much it hurt, I simply didn’t want to be there anymore. I had got way too into animatronics and I was... very... very... burnt out. The final days of this month were good, I rewatched Yellow Submarine after a 10-Year Hiatus. It was good! :) October - SPOOK!!! HA!!! -COUGH- So you know how The Beatles like broke up in 1970... yeah i got into one of the bands made after them.... Wings good. I made a few more drawings for arcadecasper that im especially proud of, uh... OH YEAH AND I MADE A KETCHUP PRIDE FLAG FOR EMPRESS!!!!!!!! It is also now my most popular post! Cool!/gen .Two of my friends approached me and said they got into the beatles because of me that was pretty swagchamp. November - All of my memories from this month are MUSH. i literally dont remember what happened <3... oh wait yeah we got hte evil man out of office... that was preddy epic... OH RIGHT DESTIEL- December - My favorite season!! The end of the year was pretty swell. It was like everything good that happened to me was settling, getting cozier, just... being better. Like gently stirring the salt in a soup bowl... okay thats a weird analogy- I got into lemon demon too! And uh very glad i did. cause now i can say that cabinet man wishes you a karkalicious 2009 and i can actually understand it./j And all the lessons from all my friends I (probably indirectly) learnt this year... Like @smilez4milez!! You taught me to always be proud and glad!!! @teamgay0tix you taught me that affection always overpowers hatred. @boredwiththislifetime, no matter what your friend is doing, as long as its not hurting anyone, support them!!! @bahrlee, become a vampire/j. @hmmdotjpg, changing for yourself is more important than becoming someone you arent in front of other people. @worthape i dunno... i... bugs???? Im just glad you were here too :). @retrowormz you kinda just made me funnier!!! @knave-woods bro i literally idolize you tsygvfbsyh. @lovecore-ashe, drink ketchup and dont give a shit about what everyone else thinks/hj!! @verae, !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY YOURE LITERALLY JUST MY BEST FRIEND GSYHVFTEYWSH and of course, last but most certainly not least, Casper @arcadecarpetz WHERE DO I START ON HOW EPIC AND SWAG AND POGGERS YOU ARE AND HOW GREAT YOU HELPED MAKE THESE LAST FEW MONTHS... HHM- Well, maybe ill just leave it at “You pretty much taught me how to not be a jerk” okay!!! Man i got really sappy here wgvrtedgyshb I’m not sure if any of that is comprehensible!!! Its 2pm and i still havent actually started the day, but i wanted to write all of this down before it left my head. I know im missing probably important stuff but yknow... i have brainworms :O/j You are all... so cool... i just wanted to get that out...

[peach-the-owl]

I think you not going to like this,74 and 87. But hear me out. child cries realize that it old group of the child after seeing the remain of child's old group. saying child fault after leaving the old group behind. But for Nein, they tell child the old group give their life to let child live. A burial for old child group, telling old group real goal, is see child a better future with new family they found. Yeah my English not good, but hope you like this. Try Destiny 2 Journey vocal 2 for this

It is done! So, I think I get idea, but I also decided to add in some creative liberties of my own, so to speak, because it’s the spooky season and who doesn’t love trauma! May have overdone it a little, idk but it was a fun ride. I hope it was worth the wait 😁

WARNING: This is gonna get a little graphic

Carry On

Mighty Nein & Child!Reader

74- Why are you crying? 87- It's my fault this happened.

You met the Mighty Nein several months ago when you were but a lone wanderer, concerned for a lost child they took you in hoping to help find your family. You told them that while you were traveling your family had been attacked by a strange looking group of gnolls, at least that’s what you could remember anyways. As you journeyed along you recognized the route you were taking, this was the same road you’d last saw your family and an eerie sense of being watched crept into you.

"We should be careful around here." You say huddling closer to Jester in the cart, she puts an arm around you and gives you a kind smile.

"Hey don’t worry about it, we’re always super careful." You wanted to believe her, but you’ve been with them long enough to know that wasn’t always true. The sound of rustling foliage catches everyone’s attention as these creatures that looked like gnolls jumped out and attacked.

It was like déjà vu, the long track down the road, assurance that things would be just fine, the rustling leaves that lead to an ambush it was exactly like what happened last time. Everyone sprang into action, while you were left in the cart trying to calm yourself, you look over and notice one of these gnolls was staring at you like it knew you somehow. You duck away from view and grab your weapon to defend yourself, the cart shakes as the gnoll jumps onto it and lets loose a cackle, something sounded off from the usual laughs gnolls normally made though. Even stranger is that it doesn’t attack you right away either, instead it grabs ahold of you before you can take a swing at it and covers your mouth to stop you from calling for help, it then proceedes to carry you deeper into the forested area. You can hear the shouts and sounds of battle grow fainter the farther in you go, you struggle and manage to wriggle free of this things grip and book it in the direction you could only assume you came from. Not looking where you’re going you trip on a tree root jutting out of the ground and stumble into a clearing, the area smelled rancid and upon looking around you could tell why. Bodies littered the area some more decayed then others, all of them twisted and mangled into strange positions, you could feel bile raising to your throat and had to physically stop yourself from vomiting.

"Isn’t it a beautiful sight? Such wonderful art." That voice, you knew that voice. Turning your head you see the "gnoll" remove its headpiece revealing a man underneath.

"Mr. Roland? You did this?" It was shocking, horrifying even to think that someone your family had once trusted would do something like this.

"Now don’t fret child, instead why not marvel at my latest masterpiece." He gestures towards something, you fearfully look over eyes widening and body trembling at the sight. Bloody bodies twisted beyond their limits with bones jutting out every which way, dried organs draped around arms and legs like they were fancy decorations, some of their faces were pinned up to look like they were smiling while others still held looks of agony. These people, this "masterpiece" was your family or what remained of them anyways.

"We… we trusted you." The words came out so fast and shaky making you wonder if you even spoke them at all.

"And it was a wonderful choice, just look at how amazing they turned out, in fact I should be thanking you." You give him a confused look. "You see if it wasn’t for your family doing everything they could to help make your escape I wouldn’t have this masterpiece at all. Perhaps I should let you flee again, after all you’ve brought me more people to work with and what a colourful bunch they are too." Your breathing hitched, this was because of you? They were like this because of you, and now the Nein were next… all because of you. Tears streamed down your face, vision blurring as the weight of the situation pressed down on you.

"Oh dear child, why are you crying?" He sounded as though he was mocking you now and as much as you wanted to look away or run you find your body having become unresponsive to your thoughts. When he speaks again his voice sounds as though it’s circling around you from all directions. "Could it be you feel left out? Well if that’s the case… I’ll be happy to have you join them!" You were too distracted to focus on his words or hear the loud thud along with a grunt of pain from behind you.

"Come on kid we gotta go!" Whoever was talking now you couldn't place their voice, still stuck on the horrific imagery that was now burned into your brain, it wasn’t until you felt hands on your shoulders did you finally react with a flinch. The sight of crimson eyes and lavender skin help readjust your focus. "Hey, hey, hey! Look at me kid, there’s no time for that we gotta go, now!" Legs shaking you slowly get up, only to stumble when you try to walk. With a swift motion Molly picks you up and dashes away from the clearing, your breathing was heavy and your head still felt a little hazy after what you just saw but you were still able to focus enough to see Roland give chase after you, a large slash wound across his chest and abdomen. Even with the nasty wound he still managed to gain on you, panic filling every part of your body the closer he got.

"B-be-behind you!" You managed to give a warning and with another swift motion your placed on the ground, hearing the sound of metal clashing before turning to see Molly blocking Roland's attack. You were able to see the road from where you stood but still found it hard to get your body to do what you wanted, feeling as though you frozen in place, so you did the only natural thing left that you could do…

You screamed.

Curling yourself into a ball, squeezing your eyes shut and covering your ears you let out an ear piercing shriek, soon gentle arms pick you up making you once again flinch on reaction but the calming voice that follows eases your worries a bit.

"It’s alright (y/n), you’re going to be okay." Fjord brings you out of the tree line and sets you down into the cart. "Wait here, I’ll be right back." You reach for him as he disappears back into the forest, slowly you lower your arms once again curling up into a ball for any sort of self-comfort, letting tears cascade down your face as the situation fully sinks in.

"It’s my fault this happened. They all died because of me, now I’m gonna lose two families." You sob to yourself thinking only of the worst outcome, so wrapped up in your own world you weren’t sure how much time passed, maybe a minute, maybe an hour you didn’t know anymore. The feeling of something soft and fluffy nudging against you pulls you from those negative thoughts, slowly uncurling yourself to see Frumpkin butting his head against your hand asking for attention. You place the cat onto your lap brushing your hands through his soft fur, looking around your eyes land on Caleb standing a few feet from the cart giving you a empathetic look, had he heard you? It’s not long after the rest of the group emerges from the forest, some of them looking more roughed up then others, most notable being Yasha and Beau.

"So anyone know about that creepy ass clearing?" Beau blurts out, getting a few glares from the party as she realizes her slip of the tongue. "Umm… sorry, the question still stands though."

"M-mr. Roland called it his art." You say it quietly, but still loud enough for them to hear.

"Who’s Mr. Roland?" Jester questions, with a curious tilt of her head. You explain to everyone how he was supposedly a friend to your family, helping with jobs and looking after you and your siblings when your parents couldn’t, and finally how when your family had been attacked several months ago you had thought he was aiding you in the fight.

"No one survived, except for me… they all died because of me." You hug Frumpkin closer to you as fresh tears streamed down your face.

"That’s not true-"

"How do you know!" You shout at Fjord, cutting him off and immediately feeling guilty for doing so, you still continue but softer. "He said it himself that they all died while I was running away."

"They died because you ran away or to help you run away?" You snivel as you think about it again, but it was still hard to focus on your own thoughts. There was, however, one thing on your mind that kept taking priority over all else you just weren’t sure if they’d all agree, better to ask now then never though.

"Can-can I ask you all to do something for me? It’s ok if you don’t wanna, but I was wondering if we could maybe… go back and give them a funeral, or something." As you spoke your words fade to a soft whisper, feeling embarrassed by the request, resorting to hiding your face in the fur of the cat still trapped in your arms. The party talks amongst themselves while you try distracting yourself by playing with Frumpkin's paws.

"Hey." Looking up you see Veth in front of you offering her hand for you to take, so readjusting Frumpkin you take it as she leads you off the cart again and back towards the tree line. While your walking she keeps her hand firmly in yours. "I know this must hard for you, are you really sure you want to go back and see the… aftermath?" Was it not for the situation you’d find it almost funny how despite being about the same height she still acts very motherly to you, or maybe it wasn’t that funny at all, either way you knew what you wanted to be done.

"I’m sure, I don’t want them to be left here as a crazy mans 'art project' they don’t deserve that and I…" You pause, the words catching in your throat. Veth gives you a few gentle squeezes for reassurance to continue, after a minute you find your words again. "I want say goodbye properly. Is that dumb, does that sound dumb?"

"No no, it’s not dumb at all, in fact that’s very brave of you. Some grownups don’t even have the nerve to say goodbye, so just know I’m proud of you for that." You give her a small but genuine smile. By now you had made it back to the clearing, and with some deep breaths you step into it see the rest of the Nein having already dug some holes in the ground to act as graves. The bodies of your family and other poor victims who fell prey to Roland already being placed in some, Caduceus being the one instructing everyone on the proper procedures. It took a few hours so by the time they finished burying the bodies the sky had turned to dusk.

"Is there anything you’d like to say?" Caduceus asks you softly, as if his words could shatter you if he wasn’t careful. You open your mouth but find it to be a struggle to think of something to say now, having been put on the spot in front of everyone trying to force any sort of sound out to no luck. Your face slowly turns red at the feeling of embarrassment that washes over you.

"I have something to say to them if that is alright with you." Caleb says, looking to you as if to ask permission, you tilt your head a little in confusion but nod. He steps forward and clears his throat. "I may not have known them, but if (y/n) is an example of their kindness and acceptance of others, then I can understand why they would do anything to keep them alive." He turns and gives you a gentle smile, you faintly return it.

"It always hurts to lose someone you love, but if I can learn not to let that chain me down and accept love from others again then you can too." Yasha surprised you with her sweet words but there was something uplifting about them that you couldn’t help but raise your smile at.

"My turn! Ok… may the Traveler bless your souls for sending us this sweet little child to call our own, ummm… that’s all I got." Jester pipes in, bringing a sort of joy to cut down the lingering tension, it almost makes you giggle.

"As a mother, I know I’d happily give my life again to protect Luc knowing that he’s still alive and will carry on my legacy." Veth says, almost reminestantly. It made you slowly realize that maybe your family did the same so you could carry on their legacy too, if that’s the case then you’d accept it.

"I do believe the kid's made things more lively since they joined and I for one wouldn’t want to trade that for the world." Maybe not as heartfelt of a speech as the others, but you honestly expected nothing less from Molly, he even struts over to you and ruffles your hair earning a small laugh from you.

"Wait, are we taking turns? Uhh… it’s been nice having someone to look out for and teach the ways of the world to, it always feels like we have a purpose even when we feel useless." Fjord stumbled over his words a little, not fully expecting everyone to contribute but found his grounding at the end, his and everyone’s words so far having helped raise you spirits more and more.

"Ummm… look I’m not really good at this emotional stuff but I’m glad your here with us." Like Molly, Beau's little speech wasn’t all that heartfelt but her words were genuine and that’s all you could ask for.

"You all did amazing, I’m proud." Caduceus says, he then gently places his hands on the ground and casts Decompose while muttering a prayer of safe passage for the deceased to the Wildmother. The area quickly sprouting various fungus’ and some (favourite flower/s) the clearing becoming a beautiful patch of nature once again from the horror show that it once was. You are then brought into a group hug, a warm feeling of true belonging coming over you.

"I’m really happy I found you." Tears slide down your cheeks, but no longer ones of sorrow, these were tears of joy.

"We’re glad we found you too."

[asiryn]

this post is going to be very rambly, so i apologize in advance. if you’re potentially interested in my liveblogs, and/or interested in hearing a bit about my current life and disability issues, tune in. if you aren’t, then....keep scrolling i guess XD

(if you just want the current liveblog schedule, scroll to the bottom)

[and this got predictably very long, so i’m gonna put it behind a cut for convenience] 

up to recently, my main liveblogs have been about the pokemon anime, with a few other shows, books, and especially video games sprinkled in here and there. essentially, waaaay back in yonder year of 2014, netflix added the first season of pokemon, the indigo league, to their site, and i, in a fit of nostalgia, made the veeery questionable decision to watch all of the pokemon anime---rewatching the stuff i hadn’t touched since i was kid, and then continuing on into the unknown, and watching all the seasons from gen 3 onward that i had missed due to dropping out of pokemon. i only really started actually making liveblog posts once i hit gen 3, then i stayed consistent-ish from then onward. (for the curious, i’m up to sun & moon, and i have 44 episodes left until i finish it (i’m not ready ;;;; ), and then netflix actually just dropped the first 12 episodes of the newest series, pokemon journeys, so....56 until i’ve caught up with the dub XD)

so, all of y’all who climbed aboard with those liveblogs are probably already aware of Who I Am, at least a little. (....this is making it sound like i’m Some Big Name in liveblogging, but i’m not really anything of the sort, just so we’re all on the same page XD) at least, in terms of the fact that i’m physically disabled, suffer from chronic pain, etc. but recently, i’ve joined two new fandoms, and i’ve begun liveblogging spop and my next life as a villainess. and my spop posts in particular are already becoming some of the most popular posts i’ve ever done (like wow, you guys). and i think part of that popularity is due to the fact that these are two pretty recent, pretty popular fandoms (tho i do also like to think that i do make good content XP). but the point is that quite a lot of new ppl are coming across me, and idk how much, if any, of you have taken the time to look at my bio or anything. so i guess....part of this post is just some ruminations, but also my way of letting you know more of what you’re getting into. 

so, for those who don’t know: hi, you can call me kiryn, i liveblog stuff sometimes, and i’m physically disabled. i suffer from intense, constant, chronic pain. it stems from a bone disease called HME, or hereditary multiple exostosis, if you’re curious (i have a severe case of it, joy of joys). the short version of what that means is that i have a lot of bone spurs everywhere on my body, and they....cause me a lot of pain. basically, i cannot do any kind of sustained activity without the already significant, never-ceasing pain that i feel cranking up to unbearable levels, and basically i’ll be rendered immobile. i do have pain meds that i take, and that very much help to take the edge off, and make it so that i can function at all (bc, believe fucking me, w/o them, i wouldn’t be able to achieve even the little i can do), but even with them, it only makes a dent in my pain levels, and again, sustained activity makes up that difference very quickly. 

now, the gist of this stuff i’ll mention from time to time, but....i don’t usually go into much detail about it (and this post is probably the most detailed i’ve been about my condition in years). bc, quite frankly, it’s depressing. (and seeing as i also already have clinical depression, that’s definitely not something that i need more of XD) i participate in fandoms for escapism, and bc i don’t really want to think about that crushing mountain of reality. i’ve had this condition since birth, and i’ve literally lived my entire life in constant pain, and i honestly have no fucking idea what it even feels like to be painless. and what’s even worse is that it’s a degenerative disease---essentially, the bone spurs are wearing down my joints, so....my entire condition will just keep worsening as i get older. (and no, surgery to remove the spurs isn’t really an option.) i’ll be 29 next month, and i can already tell you, i’ve been feeling that decline sharply. when i was a kid, i could still run. by the time i was a teenager, i couldn’t even do that anymore; the best i could manage was a jog. now....i don’t think i could even do that. 

i guess the main point in why i’m saying all this, is that for the last year especially, i’ve been dealing with the worst downward swing that i’ve had in years. in my late teens and early-mid 20s, i got into a pretty good rhythm, of knowing my body’s limits, how to budget spoons to accomplish things, etc. but now even that fragile equilibrium has been thrown out the window, and i’m currently struggling to learn the new limits and rhythm of this downward swing that is unfortunately now my reality. even before, i was pretty limited on what i could accomplish, but even that narrow window has shrunk even further. so basically, i’m in the testing zone still. and it’s a very slow process, bc once i exceed the limit, my body breaks down, and now it takes me even longer to recover. as an example, i used to know that i could wake up in the morning and get ready to leave the house in 20-30 mins. now? i need at least an hour, which involves me pushing through a wave of agony to be able to take my pain meds in the first place, and then wait for those meds to kick in and the pain to die down enough to move without feeling like i’m moving through a wall of spikes. (and that’s just the start of every day for me, and before even throwing in all of the other variables)

so, coming back to the liveblogs......obviously, that’s affected by all this too. if you’ve wondered why there’s been a gap between me finishing up spop s1 and starting s2....that’s why. partly, i didn’t expect how analysis-heavy i was going to get on spop; pokeani just doesn’t tend to be as consistently thematically deep, so those liveblogs took far less out of me than spop has, and pushing myself to finish 5 episodes in one day....well, it was too much. and the thing is, it’s obviously unhealthy for me to continually push myself to the point of total breakdown, so...that’s where learning my new limits comes in. so, these past few days, i’ve been thinking, and essentially trying to better figure out how to do liveblogs like this without pretty much killing myself in the process (bc i honestly do love making them....i mean, if i didn’t, then it really wouldn’t be worth the literal pain it takes to make them XD). and also there’s a component of managing my anxiety-brain, bc leaving things Unfinished stresses me out, and so when coming to terms with the fact that it’s going to take me awhile to finish one show....knowing that i’d be leaving others hanging....Doesn’t Help XD

so, here’s what i’ve got so far (and obvs, this is subject to much tweaking in the future XP)

currently, i’m watching 4 shows: pokeani, good omens, villainess, and spop. villainess rn is the least of my worries, bc 1 ep is coming out a week, so it’s not demanding a lot of my time. 

for the other 3, here’s the preliminary schedule i’ve sort of hashed out:

- pokeani sm103-106

- spop s2

- pokeani sm107-110

- spop s3 

- pokeani sm111-114

- spop s4

- pokeani sm115-118

- spop s5 

- pokeani sm119-122

- good omens

- pokeani sm123-126

- [catch up block] (i don’t have a good track record in keeping up with ongoing shows, so if i fall behind on villainess, this is where i can catch up)

- finish pokeani sun & moon [sm127-146] (the league starts on ep 128, so i’d rather not experience any big interruptions in the battles XD)

basically, i’ve given myself a limit of 4 pokeani eps in a single session (bc as stated, they don’t take as much out of me), and with spop, the most i’ll let myself watch in a row will be 3 eps (s2 will probably be broken up into a 3/2/2 block, s3 a 3/3 block, and s4&5 will be a 3/3/3/2/2 block).

now, keep in mind that i’m very deliberately making no guarantees about specific days, bc who even knows, but at the very least, scheduling and talking it all out like this will help me to better manage my spoons, and if you’ve actually read this far, then you’ll know the method in the madness and why i’m doing things this way. XD the vague goal is to get in a least 1 liveblog session a week (plus a bonus of the new villainess ep on saturdays)---at least for the shows. i’m still having to working out what i’m going to do about video games....maybe i should just go on a ‘once a week’ model for all my hobbies across the board XDD

in the next couple of days, i’ll be posting that in-depth look into all the ships of villainess (it started as me just pecking down a few thoughts while i was taking a social media break due to the Current Events, but now i’m at the point where i’m like, i’ve put too much effort into this to not post it, damn it XP), and then depending on spoons, i’ll try to start in on that schedule this week, so stay tuned for some pokeani! (again....i’ll try to hit at least 1 liveblog a week before i start trying to get more ambitious XDD)

in any case, if you have stuck through to the end, thank you very much. your support means a lot to me 💖

[artificialqueens]

Feelings On Safety (Part 2) (Branjie)- Ortega

a/n: i actually wrote a part 2 to Your Move??? who is she??? i loved the verse i made for these two a lot so when people wanted more i did not at all mind writing it. thank u all for the amazing response to Your Move and i hope u like this as much as u did the first part!!! i feel like u benefit from reading Your Move first but i guess this could be read standalone too?? idk do what u like (Title from Trip by Ella Mai. i listened to so so much Ella Mai writing all this i’m so in my feelings rn)

Summary: Brooke is not falling for her secretary, despite what Detox is telling her. She only wants to be with her every hour of the day, treat her to nice things, make her laugh and maybe sort of make her her girlfriend. Shit, maybe Detox is right after all.

***

Brooke was fucked. Both physically and mentally.

She hadn’t really known when sleeping with Vanessa had become such a regular thing- after the first time she’d felt awkward, she hadn’t known how to play it, and she hadn’t known how Vanessa had felt about things so instead of asking her like a normal human being, Brooke had avoided her instead. That was until around five days later when Vanessa basically locked them both in her office and demanded to know why she was getting avoided as if she had herpes or something, and Brooke stuttered everything out in a completely flustered and very un-Brooke way. Vanessa had watched with a slightly open mouth and a surprised sense of amusement until Brooke was finished verbalising all that she’d been worrying about, and then she’d crossed around to behind Brooke’s desk, sitting on her lap gently and bringing every searing hot memory to the forefront of Brooke’s head.

“Look,” Vanessa had said matter-of-factly, bringing her hands up to cup Brooke’s jaw so that she had no choice but to lock eyes with her. “Did you like fuckin’ me?”

“Oh God,” Brooke had looked away in embarrassment and laughed. “Vanessa, it’s 9.15.”

“Bitch, just answer the question! Did you like it when I let you pin me to the ground and ride my face? Did you like bending me over your desk and spanking and fingering me?”

“Oh Jesus,” Brooke exhaled. She’d missed hearing Vanessa talk like that, her voice all low and sultry and answering her own question for her. “Fuck yes, I liked it.”

Vanessa had smiled. “Do you want to do it again?”

Brooke remembers darting her eyes from Vanessa’s own quickly down to her red painted lips and back up again. She had nodded once, and Vanessa had leaned in and pressed a small kiss to her lips.

“So that’s all that matters. You liked it, I liked it. We both want round two. We know where we both are now so why are we puttin’ up a front about it?”

And after that Brooke had put her arms around Vanessa and pulled her close, kissing her all needy and desperate, and Brooke hadn’t known what she’d been worrying about at all. That had been the second time, and since then there’d been a third and a fourth and a fifth, until Brooke had very nearly lost count. She knew they’d been at it for about a month, which was probably a long time, but for Brooke it had gone by quicker than anything.

But there was only so much sex you could have with somebody before you started developing feelings, and Brooke knew that. If she was being honest, she’d been feeling things that were more than lust for her for quite a while now, and Brooke didn’t really know what to do. Every time Brooke deadpanned something sarcastic about a client she felt a sense of achievement whenever Vanessa laughed, crinkling up her nose and flashing her bright white teeth. Or after they were finished and they were both lying on the rug exhausted, Brooke remembers the first time that Vanessa rolled over, put her head on Brooke’s chest and threw an arm around her waist, and Brooke’s heart had felt like a bubble that was seconds away from popping. The trouble was, how did she breach that topic with Vanessa?

Brooke decided to start small. It was a Friday, and everyone in the office was in a good mood. The week had seemed long, and everyone was excited to go home. Lots of people were leaving early, so when Vanessa bounded into Brooke’s office at half past four, she was excited.

“I think we could be in luck tonight, Ms. Brooke,” she beamed, Brooke wanting to laugh at the now-unnecessary formality. “This place is gonna be dead by quarter to five, and then it’s gonna be just us!”

Brooke smiled at her from her position at her filing cabinet where she’d been putting cases away, her heart lifting at the little phrase Vanessa had used at the end which made her happier than the other girl would know. Still, part of her was scared for what she was going to propose. “Yeah, I wanted to talk about that, actually-”

“Oh. Okay,” Vanessa’s face dropped, her body language instantly disappointed. She gave a sad smile. “You wanna stop all of this, huh?”

“Oh, fuck no!” Brooke replied instantly, the other girl looking so defeated that Brooke wanted to wrap her up in a hug. She was so pleased when Vanessa perked up again, her expression turning happy and curious all at once. Brooke grew nervous. “I just thought…you know, there’s only so much comfort that my office can actually provide. And my flat has like…soft furnishings and stuff.”

Vanessa burst out in a laugh that ripped through the room. “Soft furnishings, bitch what the fuck?! Just say bed. Or couch. Who d’ya think you’re talking with, the queen of fuckin’ England?”

“Definitely not,” Brooke raised an eyebrow. She let the filing cabinet drawer roll shut as she crossed over to where Vanessa had taken a seat. She was still giggling. “Hey. Stop laughing at me, bitch.”

Vanessa bit her lip, trying to hide her smirk. “Or what? You gon’ shut me up?”

Brooke felt like a spring that was beginning to be slowly wound up. She loved what Vanessa could do to her in just a few words. “That mouth’s going to be busy doing something else if you don’t watch it.”

“Like what, eatin’ that pussy out?”

Brooke threw her head back and gave a soft laugh, her hands playing with the hem of her skirt impatiently. “Fuck, there’s never any nuance with you, is there?”

Vanessa ran her tongue along her teeth and smiled as she shook her head. Brooke sighed needily. “Mm, I can’t wait.”

Vanessa frowned in mock-disapproval, tutting gently. “You’re whinier than I am today, Mami.”

“Fuck, stop it. You know what that does to me,” Brooke moaned. She really desperately wanted Vanessa- the week had been long and she’d been too caught up in her caseload to do anything with her- but she also wanted to have her back to her flat, so she decided to gently ask Vanessa again. “So uh…would you want to come round to mine? You know, just so we have a bed.”

Her heart felt like it was in her mouth as Vanessa smirked quietly back at her. She waited for the inevitable rejection, the narrowed eyes and the questioning why, but none of those came. Instead, the smirk broke into a smile and Vanessa shrugged. “Sure. I’d like that.”

Brooke felt a tidal wave of relief wash over her. It was only a small step forward, but they weren’t going to go from casual sex to in love in the space of one conversation. “Amazing. Give me five minutes to finish up here, then we can go.”

So that was how Brooke ended up driving Vanessa back to her apartment, a nervous flutter in her chest as Vanessa sang softly along to whatever was on the radio. They talked easily with each other about little things, Brooke telling Vanessa about her clients and Vanessa laughing, or gasping in shock, or ranting about how much of a cunt somebody was. Brooke was happy that Vanessa didn’t mind her venting, and she hadn’t realised she was still talking until she had walked out the elevator and reached her own front door.

“Sorry,” she said, self-conscious. “I hadn’t realised I’d been ranting so much.”

Vanessa frowned. “Don’t apologise. It’s important to you.”

Brooke’s heart felt all warm and glowing as they shared a smile, only breaking it when she pushed down on the handle and was met by a deafening series of beeping noises that cut through the moment.

“Fuck, what is that?!” Vanessa yelled, holding her ears comically. Brooke hissed as she dashed inside, stabbing at the security system she’d still not managed to get the hang of yet.

“Shit, sorry, sorry, sorry,” she said anxiously, growing frustrated as she pressed button after button with her long talons. “Come on, fuck.”

“Bitch can you hurry it up a little? It ain’t playin’ one of Beethoven’s sympathies, get it movin’!”

Finally, mercifully, Brooke keyed in four numbers and the racket stopped. Registering what Vanessa had said, she turned and smiled at her affectionately. “Symphonies.”

Vanessa looked confused. “What did I say?”

“Sympathies.”

The other girl snorted, shaking her head. “Fuck. Well, are you gonna invite me in?”

The nerves flaring up again, Brooke gestured for her to come inside and watched as Vanessa stepped in, her heels clacking softly against the black marble floor and her eyes wide as they darted about and took everything in. For Brooke it was just where she lived, but she felt suddenly embarrassed at the opulence of everything around her. For Brooke, it had been for convenience’s sake- she hadn’t had the time to sit and work out where to pick up furniture or flooring or wallpaper for her new place so she’d hired an interior designer to do it all for her. It was all marble and dark wood panels and white fluffy throws and rugs, and Vanessa walked down the hallway slowly, as if she was dreaming. She stopped as she came to the living room, and Brooke followed behind her anxiously, wondering if she’d made a mistake bringing Vanessa here.

Brooke watched as Vanessa walked past the two white couches, the tall, dark wood bookcase and the coal fire, and stood at the huge floor-to-ceiling windows with wide eyes, taking everything in. She finally turned around and smiled softly at Brooke.

“Wow. So this is like my Julia Roberts Pretty Woman moment, right?” she laughed gently, visibly overwhelmed.

“Sorry,” Brooke said, without really knowing what she was apologising for. Vanessa cocked her head inquisitively like a little bird, giving a laugh.

“Why? It’s beautiful. Don’t go all coy on me now, Ms. Brooke,” she smiled, shrugging off her pink fake fur coat. For a second she looked awkward as if she didn’t know where to put it, and so Brooke crossed the floor and took it from her gently.

“I like this, by the way,” Brooke said thoughtfully, stroking the material on the outside. It made Vanessa look like a cute little Barbie doll, which she loved. Vanessa smiled shyly.

“It’s probably not…I don’t know…the standard you would buy.”

Brooke rolled her eyes and snorted. “Vanessa, I can’t even remember the last time I bought myself new clothes.”

Vanessa smiled, taking two steps towards Brooke and standing on tiptoe slightly as she leaned into the other woman. “Hmm. I think you look better without any on, anyway.”

Brooke gave a little murmur, draping Vanessa’s coat over the headboard of her couch before turning back to her. “You think that’s when I look best, yeah?”

“No, you look best when you’re naked and on top of me,” Vanessa purred, smiling naughtily before leaning in to kiss Brooke lightly once, twice, then deeply with her hands tangled in Brooke’s hair as Brooke eventually pulled away and led her to her bedroom, her heart pounding in her chest.

The sex had once again been amazing, minute after minute of complete unfiltered lust, and Brooke decided that inviting Vanessa back had been the best decision she’d ever made in her life. As her afterglow hit, she turned and threw her arm over Vanessa who rolled over, smiled, and laced her fingers with hers in a surprisingly intimate gesture that made Brooke’s heart melt.

“That was fun,” Vanessa said, her voice even more gravelly than usual. “You gon’ tell me how a well-educated Harvard grad learns to talk so nasty? Or is that part of the curriculum?”

“Oh, stop it,” Brooke rolled her eyes, reaching back and hitting Vanessa with a pillow in embarrassment. The other girl laughed loudly as she curled herself up into a ball, Brooke thumping her a couple more times before her arm got tired and she threw the pillow away in exhaustion. As her laughter died down, Vanessa gave a sort of contented sigh before she sat up in bed.

“Well, as amazing as that was…I guess I’d better leave now,” she shrugged a little, peering down the side of Brooke’s bed and quickly pulling her underwear on. Confused and a little sleepy, Brooke sat up.

“Oh no, I mean…don’t feel like you have to leave,” she stammered out slightly, wanting to hit herself for how pathetic and needy she sounded. Her worst fears came true as Vanessa smiled at her sadly.

“No, it’s okay, honestly. Thank you for having me round your lovely home,” she said quietly, the humble tone in her voice making Brooke want to scoop her up, take her in her arms and never let go of her. Brooke watched as Vanessa left for a moment and returned with her coat and her heels back on. She awkwardly stuck her head back in the door and gave a little wave.

“Bye, Brooke,” she said quickly, before ducking back out of the doorframe and walking back down the hall, where the front door clicked softly shut behind her.

Brooke. Not with a Ms. attached to it, not a ma’am, not anything else. Just her name on Vanessa’s lips, and even though the day hadn’t ended like Brooke had hoped, this had to be a good sign, surely?

***

On Monday morning, before work, Brooke went to Michael Kors and dropped $425 on a pink, faux fur coat without even so much as batting an eye. In any normal, rational situation, and if the coat had been for her, Brooke would have agonised over the decision for ages- would she get enough wear out of it, was it really worth it, did she have one like it already- but since it was for Vanessa, Brooke made the entire transaction as if she was under a spell. That was kind of how she felt whenever she was with Vanessa, or even thinking about her- enchanted, entranced, and completely and utterly irrational.

As she arrived at work, she had already planned how she was going to pitch things to Vanessa. Of course she’d bought the coat just for her, but that was going to seem fucking weird if she admitted it, especially when she didn’t even know if Vanessa had feelings for her or not yet. So as she walked towards her office and Vanessa’s desk, she slipped the box that the coat came in into an old, battered plastic bag and rehearsed what she would say in her head.

Vanessa spoke first, her eyes lighting up as she saw Brooke. “Hey! Morning, Ms. Brooke. How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you? Did you get home okay on Friday?”

“Mhm. Slept so good afterwards as well,” Vanessa smiled lazily, stretching up to the ceiling. Brooke self-indulgently allowed herself to imagine waking up next to Vanessa on a rainy day and getting to hold her close and make her coffee and bring her breakfast. Fuck, now she was getting delusional. Completely smitten, Brooke put the bag on top of Vanessa’s desk as she spoke.

“Before I forget- remember the other night when we were talking about that coat you have? Well, I was just going through my closet this morning when I remembered, I actually do have one exactly like it,” she said, trying to keep her tone nonchalant and avoid Vanessa’s eyes as she slipped the bag off the box. “It got me thinking- I never actually wear it, and it’s still got all the tags on, so I thought you might get more wear out of it than I do.”

Brooke finally looked at the other girl, who had opened the box and was gazing at what was inside with her mouth slightly open and her eyes wide. Brooke watched as Vanessa lifted the coat up to see it and then put it back down, running her fingers over the fur in disbelief. Vanessa picked out the tags against the label and frowned as she looked at them.

“Brooke,” she began, and Brooke’s heart jumped as she heard her name with nothing attached to it again. “This is Michael Kors.”

“Yeah?”

Vanessa frowned at her. “Well like…how much do you want for it? Because I don’t even know if I could stretch to two hundred this month, I got my phone bill coming soon and it’s already, like-”

“Vanessa,” Brooke interrupted, smiling and trying to hide her nerves. “You don’t…you don’t have to…uh. Just take it.”

Vanessa burst out a laugh, then screwed her face up as she looked at Brooke. “Wait. You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Brooke was now so nervous that she didn’t trust herself to speak, so she just nodded. In haste, she added, “I mean, if you don’t like it I can just give it to charity, or sell it on Craigslist or…whatever.”

Vanessa smiled at Brooke as if she was an idiot. “Sell it on Craigslist, oh my fuckin’ God. I mean, no, I love it. If you’re sure I can just…take it?”

Brooke nodded shyly again. Vanessa gave a little exhale, raising her eyebrows. Finally, she looked up at Brooke and smiled. “Thank you so much, Ms. Brooke. I mean it. That’s real sweet of you.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it! As I say, I didn’t get much use out of it anyway,” Brooke smiled back, so happy her gift had been well received. She awkwardly shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I guess I’d better get to work. But, uh, hey. Do you want to come round again tonight?”

“I can’t tonight, I’m getting my nails did,” Vanessa pouted. “Can we do tomorrow?”

“Sounds good. See you later,” Brooke gave a little wave and disappeared into her office. Sitting at her desk, she smiled as she watched Vanessa take the coat out of the box again, smile, hug it to her chest, and drape it over the back of her chair. Brooke didn’t have long to bask in her satisfaction- she had a firm meeting this morning and she needed to gather what she needed for that, but she couldn’t help looking at Vanessa through the blinds and allowing her heart to swell up, wondering if Vanessa’s was too.

Her contentedness lasted all of about ten minutes when Detox came barging through her office door and practically launched herself into the chair opposite Brooke before she could say “Hey, girl”.

“Okay, spill,” she suddenly said, Brooke’s heart giving a small jump but keeping herself cool.

“On aisle three? What the hell are you talking about, girl?” Brooke shook her head, clicking at something on her laptop and avoiding her friend’s gaze. She could hear Detox’s voice- faux-inquisitive, as if she already had all the answers.

“I just think it’s funny how your secretary is out there with a new coat. Never seen her wear it before. Obviously looks very expensive. Did she, I don’t know…come into some money, or something?”

“Fuck would I know, why are you asking me?” Brooke kept her tone detached, although a sense of dread was beginning to creep up on her. She finally looked at Detox, who had the biggest, largest, shit-eating grin on her face.

“Well, I don’t know, I thought you might know a little bit about it since, when I complimented her on it out there, she told me it was you that gave it to her.”

“Yeah, and what? It was an old coat, I never wear it, I gave it to her because she has one similar,” Brooke brushed her off, getting up to file something away.

“An old coat? How old was it, ten fuckin’ minutes? Because I know,” Brooke turned around to look at her friend, who had narrowed her eyes at her. “that that coat is from the current Michael Kors Spring/Summer collection, which only arrived in stores yesterday.”

Brooke’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. She said nothing as Detox paused, then carried on. “Now, I’m just wondering, Brooke…why would a lawyer buy her secretary a brand new five hundred dollar coat? And I’ve been going over it and over it in my mind and the only possible conclusion I can come to…is that you’re pussy whipped.”

Brooke looked at her friend, blinked, then frowned. “It was $425, actually.”

“You SON OF A BITCH-” Detox screamed, laughing as Brooke rushed across the room to shush her. “You are! You actually are, aren’t you? Oh my FUCKING God, this is the best day of my life. This is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Brooke Lynn Hytes is fucking her secretary. Oh my God.”

“Shut up, Jesus. It’s not a big deal.”

“NOT A BIG DEAL?! Oh my fuck- now, we can’t be talking a one-time thing, B, not if you’re buying her gifts and shit. How long?” Detox asked her excitedly, her eyes sparkling.

“I don’t know, like a month?”

“A FUCKING MONTH!” Detox screeched again, Brooke terrified that she would have the whole floor outside their door in a matter of minutes.

“D, you cannot tell anybody, I swear to God,” Brooke hissed, agonised.

“Why not, bitch? It’s not illegal. You’re not gonna get fired. We all know Frank from accounts has been having an affair with Ariel, jeez. That’s far worse.”

“Yeah, but…” Brooke frowned, trying to verbalise her feelings and realising they made her sound pathetic. She sighed deeply before she spoke. “If this gets around the office, then it’s just going to seem really seedy and weird and..I don’t want Vanessa to get embarrassed and to think she’s some cheap fucking Bratz doll because she’s actually a really fucking beautiful person and I…I really don’t want to fuck things up with her, okay?”

Brooke blushed as Detox laughed and grabbed her hand. “Aww, that is adorable. Fuck, it just gets better. Not only is Brooke Lynn Hytes fucking her secretary, not only is she a fucking Sugar Mommy to her secretary, but she is actually falling in love with her secretary. Jesus fuck, this is going to be the hardest secret to keep since I found out Paul hires hookers every Saturday.”

“I am not her fucking Sugar Mama, I got her one gift. Jesus Christ, D,” Brooke rolled her eyes as she grabbed her briefcase and made for the door. Stopping, she turned around. “Wait, what was that about Paul?”

Lying in bed that night, she felt as if her heart was never going to stop beating as fast as it did whenever she thought about Vanessa. Detox was being a dick- she wasn’t falling in love with her, that was dumb, they barely knew each other- but she desperately wanted to make things work with the girl. Still unable to stop thinking about her, Brooke rolled over in bed (which she hadn’t yet changed the covers of and never really wanted to), grabbed her phone from its charger, then typed a text to Vanessa without even thinking.

B: Hope you had a good day today. Sorry I never got to talk much :( Glad you liked the coat x

Within a few minutes there was a reply, Brooke smiling without even realising at the knowledge that Vanessa was up late too, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she was up thinking about her.

V: my day was great thanks for asking!!! dont worry we can talk loads tomorrow night xo im actually wearing the coat right now if u wanna see xo

Brooke bit her lip as she threw one leg over the other and rolled over in bed, hoping this conversation was about to go the way she thought it was going. She texted Vanessa a simple yes and waited impatiently as she rubbed her thighs together, her heart leaping as a photo came almost instantly. As Brooke opened the message, she moaned as the picture filled the screen of Vanessa lying on top of her bed with the coat on but clearly nothing else, her golden hair fanned out on the pillow, and her perfect legs stretched out so that Brooke could see she’d kept her heels on.

B: Fuck, this is how I want you tomorrow night    

V: okay Mami xo

“Jesus,” Brooke breathed, teasing herself with her fingers as she stared at the picture and thought about her reply. Suddenly, another message came through.

V: are u touching yourself right now Brooke xo

There was her fucking name again, typed out and on the screen in front of her, and in that moment it was the sexiest thing she’d ever been sent.

B: You know I am

V: well stop. ur not allowed to until u see me tomorrow xo

Brooke frowned.

B: Is that a joke?

V: i’m not playing, baby xo

“Oh, fuck this,” Brooke hissed, frustrated and defiantly moving her fingers underneath the silk of her pyjamas as she looked up Vanessa’s name in her contacts and phoned her.

The bitch had the audacity to pick up after four rings. “Hi, Mami.”  

“What the hell are you playing at, you fucking tease, sending me that and telling me I’m not allowed to get off to it?” she hissed, her breathing all jagged as she felt how wet she was.

Vanessa’s tone came down the line all playful and mocking. “Is that any way to speak to your baby, Ms. Brooke?”

Brooke felt as if she was slowly melting with every word Vanessa spoke. She felt herself whine down the phone. “No, but it’s not fair. I mean, are you touching yourself?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m touching myself, imaginin’ you all hot and wet and frustrated and not bein’ able to have my tongue on you until tomorrow.” Vanessa’s voice was all breathy down the line, the end of her sentence punctuated by a little gasp that made Brooke buck her hips and moan suddenly. Vanessa’s voice came back down the line, stern. “I can hear you touching yourself, you fuckin’ whore. Tell me how wet you are.”

“Fuck, so wet, Mami,” Brooke gasped, shocking herself a little as she used that name she’d thought Vanessa had just reserved for her. She didn’t really know how Vanessa would react to it. If it was anything like the effect it had on her, then Brooke was about to use it a whole lot more often. She was rewarded with a breathy giggle and a sigh down the line.

“Be a good girl and take your hand out your pants.”

Brooke felt herself let out a pathetic sob as she wrenched her hand away. She didn’t know whether she would kiss Vanessa tomorrow or kill her. “Vanessa you drop this act and let me cum right now or I swear to God I’ll spank you so hard tomorrow you won’t be able to sit right for a month.”

Brooke heard Vanessa laugh down the phone. “Fuck, Mami, you know I like it when you talk to me like that.”

Brooke whined, guiltily trailing her hand back down between her thighs. Vanessa’s voice came sharp down the line.

“Brooke, you keep on touchin’ yourself like that and that picture is the only thing you’re gettin’ from me for the next week, and I’m serious,” Vanessa growled, Brooke rolling over helplessly in bed as she finally understood why Vanessa liked her speaking to her all authoritatively, and not being able to touch herself was pure torture.

“Fuck, you’re such a bitch,” she whined, tearing a hand through her hair as Vanessa laughed.

“Stop whinin’ and tell me how much you want me.”

“I want you so bad, Vanessa,” Brooke breathed, her heart feeling like it was about to give out.

“Tell me how much you’re going to punish me tomorrow for doin’ you like this.”

Brooke’s mind felt it was short-circuiting as she spoke, unsure if anything she was saying was making any sense. “I’m not even going to touch you. You’re going to have to fuck me and eat me out and make me cum hard, and I swear to God, Vanessa, it better be the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my fucking life or you’re getting put in my car and dropped off home, all dripping wet like a bad, dirty little slut, and you’re going to have to deal with what I did to you on your own.”

“Fuck, baby,” Vanessa’s voice was hot and urgent down the line, and with a pang of jealousy Brooke could tell she was close. A small, evil little part of her realised she held a lot of power in this moment. She deliberately yawned slowly and affected tiredness in her voice.

“You know what, actually, it’s getting pretty late…I should probably hang up-”

“Oh fuck, no, no, no-”

“Beg me.”

“Ay, fuck, pretty please Mami, please, please, por favor, Mami, me lo merezco, please-”

As Vanessa descended into desperate, feverish Spanish, Brooke cut off the call with a delicious sense of satisfaction. Returning her phone to its charger and jumping out of bed to take a freezing cold shower before she went to sleep, she decided that those $425 had been worth every penny.

***

The marble floor was freezing under Brooke’s bare feet as she carried two glasses of icy water through to the bedroom. The shock of going from the boiling hot bed into the chill of her flat had sobered Brooke up a little, and previously she’d been drunk on lust and a little bit of something that could be more. When her feet hit the soft cream carpet it was a welcome relief, and she quickly padded back over to the bed to where Vanessa lay staring, unblinking, at the ceiling as if she was under a spell.

“Here,” Brooke said gently, as she slipped under the covers and handed Vanessa one of the glasses. The other girl stirred a little, sitting up and fluffing a couple of pillows as she gratefully took one of the glasses and drank a huge gulp of water.

“Fuck. Don’t think I’ll need to go to the gym tonight after that,” she laughed quietly, moving to place the glass down on Brooke’s bedside table then stopping suddenly, her eyes darting around. Brooke suddenly realised what it was she was looking for and laughed.

“Don’t worry about coasters, just put the damn thing down.”

Doing as she was told, Vanessa put the glass down and then sank back under the covers, the two of them laying there silently for a moment. Brooke wanted so much to reach out and take Vanessa’s hand, but she also didn’t want to move unless the whole moment was a dream. Suddenly, she became aware that Vanessa had said something and was looking at Brooke for a reaction. Her face was calm and serene, and it made Brooke wish she had heard her the first time.

“What?”

Her heart fell as Vanessa looked down sheepishly, a light blush hitting her cheeks. “Nothing. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Brooke could have pushed her for an answer, but something made her decide against it. Instead, she decided to take another leap. “Hey. You want to order food?”

Vanessa perked up and smiled, nodding enthusiastically.

“Can we get a big fuckin’ messy burrito? Aw wait,” she frowned, glancing at the huge marble clock built into the wall. She turned to Brooke and shrugged. “I should probably get goin’, huh.”

Brooke bit her lip. “You could, or…you could just stay here.”

Vanessa turned to Brooke and looked a little disbelieving. “Really?”

Brooke shrugged and nodded, wanting with every fibre of her being to stay chilled out and neutral despite the fact all of her was screaming silently for Vanessa to say yes. Vanessa smiled gently, reaching across the bed and resting her hand on top of Brooke’s. “That would be nice.”

That night, they hardly moved from the bed. They ordered burritos, like Vanessa had wanted, and watched whatever film had been on TV at the time, talking about little details of their lives that neither of them had known about the other before. When it got to midnight, Brooke realised they had said they would go to sleep an hour ago, but neither of them had been able to keep that promise, too intent on staying up and talking or kissing each other with every lull in conversation. When she saw the time, Brooke sighed in the darkness, pulling Vanessa in close to her.

“We should go to sleep, baby,” she yawned, kissing Vanessa’s neck lightly and wishing that time could stand still. Vanessa squirmed a little in Brooke’s arms as she got comfortable and swept her hair over her shoulder.

“Brooke, I meant to ask,” Vanessa murmured sleepily, and Brooke felt the sudden question make her hang by a thread. “Are we, uh…I mean. Are you thinking we should be exclusive or nah?”

Brooke suddenly tensed up, and she felt Vanessa grow tense underneath her as well. Why was she asking that? Did she want to be exclusive? Is that what she was asking? Or was she afraid of it, only asking when the lights were off and when Brooke couldn’t see her face or her reaction? She gave her another option too- or nah, giving herself an easy out. As Brooke frantically thought about it more and more in the seconds that followed Vanessa’s question, she had managed to completely convince herself that Vanessa absolutely hated the idea of a relationship with her and slightly breaking her own heart in the process.

“Brooke?”

Brooke swallowed. “Uh, no, I mean…we don’t have to be, I mean let’s not put a label on it. Go out with whoever you want, you know. That kind of thing doesn’t bother me, I’m not a jealous kind of person.”

She didn’t know if she’d imagined it, but she felt like Vanessa relaxed in her arms. It felt like a stab to the gut.

***

The plus side to Vanessa staying over was that she had to borrow some of Brooke’s work clothes for the next day, and seeing Vanessa in her own navy pant suit had made Brooke want to immediately tear it off her again. They’d talked and laughed on the way into work as they usually did, Brooke trying to ignore the nagging feeling in her stomach that she’d made a terrible mistake not immediately seizing the chance to make her her girlfriend.

The down side to Vanessa staying over and wearing Brooke’s pant suit was that Detox crashed through her office door around fifteen minutes after she arrived at work, excitedly pointing out to where Vanessa sat on the phone, oblivious.

“WHY is your secretary wearing your clothes?” Detox whisper-screamed, launching herself forward to grip Brooke’s arm.

“Oh, fuck off, D, are you really going to make me say it?”

“Fuck yes I am!”

Brooke rolled her eyes. “Vanessa is wearing my clothes because she stayed over last night, Detox.”

“Fuck me with a baguette, this is the best day ever and it’s only 9.15,” Detox sighed, crashing down into Brooke’s chair as she watched her busy herself around the office. “So when are you asking her on a proper date?”

“Do you not have a caseload to be working on, or am I the only one around here that gets shit done?” Brooke scowled, not in any way in the mood for talking about her and Vanessa considering she’d just blown the whole thing.

“Excuse me, I finished all my cases last week! My new client doesn’t get here til 10. Jeez, what’s got you so touchy?”

Brooke sighed, slamming a huge lever-arch folder into a bookcase. “Vanessa asked me if we should be exclusive last night and I said no.”

“You absolute fucking grade A idiot,” Detox frowned, fixing Brooke with a look of disapproval. “What the hell did you do that for?”

“I don’t know!” Brooke exhaled loudly, tearing a hand through her hair. “It sounded like she was asking me because she didn’t want to be like that with me. So I panicked. I wanted to reassure her.”

“But fuck what you want, right? Look, Brooke, I haven’t seen you this happy since…well, maybe ever. And I also know that you don’t give up easy. At least, you normally don’t, but right now you’re like a kitten in a sock on a freeway and you’ve just accepted your fate.”

“Okay, what’s your advice, Dr fucking Phil?” Brooke raised an eyebrow at her.

“Exclusivity doesn’t matter at this stage, right? I mean, you’ve not even been on a date. So, that’s what you should do.”

“What, ask her on a date?”

“No, yeet yourself off Brooklyn Bridge in a pair of Heelys, fuck yes ask her on a date!” Detox became impassioned, slamming Brooke’s desk and quickly shutting herself up as her eyes darted to the door. Brooke’s heart stopped as Vanessa came in, smiling apologetically and holding a small sticky note.

“Sorry to interrupt- hi, Ms. Detox,” she said softly. “Mr. Blake phoned to cancel his appointment today, he’s got shingles.”

“Hah! Shingles. Is that what they’re calling a hangover these days,” Detox piped up. Vanessa smiled politely then carried on.

“I also wanted to ask, Ms. Brooke, am I able to leave early next Monday night? Like half an hour or so,” Vanessa asked her, darting her eyes to Detox as if she was wishing she wasn’t there.

“Uh, that’s fine, yeah,” Brooke shrugged, distracted by everything going on in her head. “What for?”

Vanessa looked startled, as if the question had been unexpected. “Oh, uh…just a doctor’s appointment, you know.”

“BULLSHIT!” Detox suddenly exploded, scaring them both. “All the doctor’s surgeries close at 4, so leaving at half 4 wouldn’t get you shit. Half 4 is like, prime nail and hair appointment times. The question is…who are you getting your hair and nails done for, Vanessa?”

Brooke narrowed her eyes at her friend as she watched Vanessa laugh awkwardly and blush. “Detox, for fuck’s sake. She doesn’t have to tell you-”

“I’m going on a date, actually,” Vanessa said casually, making Brooke’s whole world stop, freeze and shatter like ice. She was aware Vanessa was looking at her to gauge her reaction, and Brooke was trying her best not to look horrified, but she was aware she probably wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

“Oh. Cool! No, that’s…that’s fine. And I mean, it’s none of my business anyway, so-”

“That’s such a coincidence actually, because Brooke was just about to ask you something!” Detox smiled at Vanessa, then turned her head to look at Brooke patiently.

Brooke was going to slap the bitch. She fixed a fake smile to her face. “Gee, well, I would, Detox, but there’s a loud, obnoxious, LA whore in my office.”

Finally, mercifully, Detox smiled wickedly and slinked away out of the room, making sure to shut the door before retreating back down the corridor. It left the two of them alone together- Vanessa standing opposite Brooke, still gazing at her with interest.

“So, uh, what was that thing you were gonna ask me?” Vanessa scratched the back of her neck and looked to the floor, as if she was embarrassed.

“Well, uh,” Brooke started, equally as embarrassed but aware that she needed to find something to say. “I was, um. Going to ask you out too.”

Brooke’s heart gave a jump as she saw Vanessa’s face brighten up in surprise. “Oh!”

“Yeah, but, uh, you know, no big deal if you’re already going out with this other girl or guy or…whatever,” Brooke stammered her way through her sentence and watched as Vanessa’s smile grew bigger and bigger.

She laughed softly. “He’s a guy. His name is Nate.”

Brooke had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Of course it fucking is. Breathing deeply, she shrugged and moved to sit behind her desk. “Cool. Like I say, it doesn’t matter if you’re already going out with him.”

“No, it’s okay. I mean, I can go out with you and I can go out with him. And I mean, it’s not as if you get jealous, right?” Vanessa commented offhandedly, a little sparkle in her eye sending a sudden flood of tension through the room, and Brooke wasn’t giving in to whatever Vanessa was doing.

“Exactly, yeah. So, uh, is that…”

Vanessa broke into a smile. “It’s a yes. I would like to go on a date with you.”

Brooke tried and failed to bite back a smile which burst out over her face. “Amazing! I mean, fine, yeah. It’s just casual, really, isn’t it?”

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” Vanessa instantly replied. Fuck, how was she so good with her words when Brooke felt like a melted puddle on the floor?

“Can we say, um…” Brooke pretended to look at the diary which she knew was empty. “Friday night?”

“Friday night is good,” Vanessa smiled, biting her lip.

“Good.”

“Good,” Vanessa replied, smiling and locking eyes with her before looking out to her desk where the phone was ringing. “I should go-”

“Yeah, sure,” Brooke nodded frantically, as Vanessa flashed her one last smile and rushed back out to her seat. Brooke hadn’t quite known what had just happened. There were so many things she was feeling, and they weren’t all positive (who the fuck walks around in this day and fucking age with a name like Nate) but she found her heart soaring as one main thought stuck in her mind.

I asked Vanessa on a date, and she said yes.

***

In the time it had taken for Brooke to push her finger to the buzzer at Vanessa’s flat and for Vanessa to appear at the bottom of her stairwell, a thousand thoughts had already seized the chance to run through Brooke’s mind and taunt her. Her outfit- a silk, emerald-green mid-length dress- was too much, and so was her makeup. Her hair looked ridiculous down, all long and wavy and in the way- she would book a haircut tomorrow. Vanessa had probably changed her mind about the entire night, and she was going to look ridiculous standing outside a slightly run-down apartment block in her evening wear. Why had she brought flowers? Vanessa probably didn’t even like lilies, and these were blue ones at that, Christ, what the fuck had she been thinking? The restaurant she’d chosen was too much. It was too opulent and would be too much for Vanessa and it’d intimidate her and she’d want to go home. Did she even like seafood? Fuck, was she allergic to seafood?! Would she be too polite to say she couldn’t have anything on the menu and end up eating a scallop and sending herself into anaphylactic shock?!

Brooke was near enough having a panic attack by the time the front door opened to reveal Vanessa, and what she was wearing only made Brooke ten times more nervous. She stood, visibly nervous, in tall sparkling gold heels, with a gold and silver dress that was dripping in a fringe of jewels to match. Her long hair was loose and wavy like Brooke’s, but hers managed to look so much better than Brooke’s own. Her makeup was beautiful, but Brooke felt she could have opened the door with a bare face and she’d still have looked perfect.

Brooke spoke first. “Hey. You look gorgeous.”

Vanessa scrunched her face up and laughed. “Comin’ from you. Jesus. I feel like a bag of garbage. Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”  

Brooke blushed, and Vanessa seemed to feel a little shy about her outburst as she blushed and looked to the ground. Straightening up, Brooke saw her take a deep breath. “Sorry. Should we, uh-”

“Sure! Oh-” Brooke nervously thrust the bouquet of flowers out in front of her, a bewildered Vanessa taking them in her arms. “These are for you. The colour’s kind of crazy, so you probably won’t like them, but none of the other flowers seemed to suit you, so…”

“The fuck is that meant to mean?” Vanessa laughed, as they reached Brooke’s car and she held the passenger door open for her. “What happened to a red rose or some shit?”

Brooke tilted her head as she tried to explain her reasoning. “Yeah, but they’re so…conventional and classic and very not you. I couldn’t get you any white flowers because that would imply some form of purity,” she raised an eyebrow and Vanessa gave a guilty little sultry laugh. “So I found these. But there isn’t really a flower that can describe you. There isn’t really anything that can describe you.”

Brooke locked eyes with the girl opposite the car to her, who was smiling with her cheeks flushed a little red, and she suddenly realised how intense she’d sounded. Suddenly, Vanessa laughed.

“No, I love them. Thank you. God, why we so nervous about this?” she exclaimed. “I mean most people usually go on a date and then fuck. We got the hard part out the way, this is s’posed to be easy.”

“Right,” Brooke laughed in reply, even though she wanted to tell Vanessa that she was wrong, that the sex was the easy part because they could throw up a front where the only language was touching and kissing and rough and gentle, and if they did speak it was a thousand times easier than anything she’d say tonight because calling the girl she cared so much about a whore and a slut and a bitch when they were under the covers and slick against each other was so much easier than telling her how Brooke actually felt about her.

But Brooke didn’t say all that, of course- she jumped into the car and motioned for Vanessa to join her and the two of them were off on their way to dinner, and Brooke’s nerves weren’t dissipating a single bit.

“So where are you takin’ me? All you said was dress fancy,” Vanessa asked, a little smile to her voice that calmed Brooke down only a little.

“It’s called Le Bernardin. Basically a seafood restaurant, but then I realised while I was waiting on you to come down that I never checked if you liked seafood or not, so if we end up eating McChickens in a car park somewhere then I’ll understand.”

Vanessa gave a little bark of laughter. “No, no don’t worry. I actually love seafood. So is this place like Red Lobster?”

Brooke stifled a laugh- they were about to go and eat from a two hundred and twenty five dollar tasting menu, and Vanessa would have been happy with Red Lobster. “Yeah, a little.”

It was only when Brooke had parked the car, walked with Vanessa into the restaurant, and been sat at their table for a few moments that Vanessa spoke up.

“Brooke,” she said with wide eyes, after having peeked at her menu. “This ain’t like Red Lobster at all, you know.”

Brooke spluttered a laugh, then had to stifle it as the sommelier approached their table. He reeled off all the different wine recommendations, Brooke having to bite the inside of her cheeks as she watched Vanessa’s face grow more and more incredulous with every word he spoke. As he finally reached the end of his spiel and asked Vanessa what she wanted to drink, she cast her eyes to the bar.

“Yeah, uhh, lemme get a French martini,” she said, leaning back in her chair. The sommelier cast a glance to Brooke, who smiled politely.

“Whatever the lady wants,” she smiled, Vanessa smiling back at her cheekily. Brooke ordered a bottle of champagne and watched with mirth as the sommelier walked away shaking his head.

“They got caviar here. Damn, this is a real nice place,” Vanessa said softly, looking at Brooke with concern. “I don’t really know how I’m gonna be able to-”

“Vanessa. I’m paying,” Brooke cut her off, holding her hand up to stop the other girl protesting. “It’s me taking you out on a date. So I’m the one that pays. Have literally whatever you want, I don’t give a fuck.”

Vanessa bit her lip and smiled. “It’s real nice of you to treat me to all this, Ms. Brooke. I won’t complain.”

“Well. You deserve nice things, so,” Brooke shrugged, sensing the shift in atmosphere as she made eye contact with the other girl. Suddenly, she broke it as a waitress appeared with their drinks, Vanessa’s eyes growing wide with delight as her martini appeared in front of her with a wedge of pineapple stuck at the side. They got two glasses of champagne poured, and Brooke held hers up to Vanessa’s.

“What are we toasting to?” she asked, Vanessa tilting her head in thought.

“It is cringey if we say us?”

“It’s not cringey, it’s nice,” Brooke smiled, touching their glasses together lightly. “To us, then.”

“To us,” Vanessa repeated shyly, Brooke amazed at how different she seemed already this evening, how nervous and quiet she was. It was such a change.

They passed much of the evening the same way, talking in dropped tones as if they were whispering. Vanessa ordered a seafood platter and caviar, just so she could say she’d tried it, and Brooke laughed as she took the tiny spoonful she’d been given and scrunched up her face. When her platter arrived, Brooke watched Vanessa look at the heads of the langoustines with interest, before showing her how to take them off. She was currently watching in slight awe as she shucked the oysters surprisingly well.

“It’s like a shot of fish. A fish shot,” Vanessa shrugged, giving Brooke the verdict on the oysters.

“Classy,” Brooke smirked, Vanessa sticking her tongue out at her in response.

“It’s a shame Detox couldn’t have been here. You should have invited her. Then again, she’s prolly outside with a huge cup pressed against the wall,” Vanessa suddenly said from nowhere, Brooke rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, sorry about her the other day. She’s an idiot, but she’s also my friend, so I guess I’m stuck with her,” Brooke pinched the bridge of her nose. Vanessa smiled.

“She’s sweet. So she knows about us then?” she said, clearly feigning disinterest. Brooke panicked.

“Yeah, but I made her promise not to tell anyone.”

Vanessa avoided Brooke’s eyes as she picked apart a clam. “Why, ‘cuz you’re ashamed of me?”

“What? No, Jesus, no. I just don’t want…” Brooke wanted to tell Vanessa everything, but her mouth wouldn’t allow the words to come out. “I don’t want the whole office knowing and chipping in their two cents all the time.”

To her relief, Vanessa didn’t seem offended. “That’s fair. Told my friends about you and that was bad enough.”

Brooke smiled. She liked the thought of Vanessa telling other people about her. “What did they say?”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “So there’s Silky and Akeria. Silky basically screamed in my ear for a solid half hour. Bitch is nuts. Akeria was like fuckin’ Oprah tryin’ to get all the details. And I mean all the details.”  

“Like what?”

Vanessa raised an eyebrow and gave Brooke a wink. “You know exactly what.”

Brooke shifted in her seat. “Did you tell her?”

“What the fuck do you think, bitch? She got nothin’ from me. Give a girl some credit,” Vanessa rolled her eyes and jabbed a scallop with her fork.

The rest of the night passed by in a blur of champagne bubbles and hushed conversation, Brooke realising halfway through the evening that she had forgotten she’d taken her car, but it didn’t matter. She could get an Uber home, and as she paid the bill she realised with a pang that she didn’t really want the night to end. As the doorman grabbed their coats, Brooke felt a stab to her heart as Vanessa gave a little satisfied sigh, signalling that the night was over.

“Can’t believe you forgot you brought your car,” Vanessa laughed as Brooke finished up ordering her Uber.

“Are you sure you don’t want dropped off? We can go past your flat-”

“Nah, don’t worry. I can get the subway home, it’s not far. Well, thank you for a lovely time, Ms. Brooke,” she smiled, shrugging on her coat. “This was maybe the classiest first date I’ve ever been on.”

Brooke ran her tongue over her teeth as she got her own coat and opened the door for her, pausing until they were back out on the sidewalk to speak again. The evening was beginning to get dark but the streetlamps weren’t lit just yet, and the warmth from the day still hung heavy in the air. “So do I get to take you on a second?”

Vanessa pursed her lips in consideration, smiling playfully as she began to walk away from her. “I’ll need to think about it. Got a lot of demand, you know. Seeing this Nate on Monday. But this was fun, Ms. Brooke,” she said lightly as she turned around. “See you Monday.”

And as Vanessa began to walk away and Brooke saw her Uber pull up beside her, something inside her snapped and broke from all the tension. It was too much for her any more. Ignoring the car that began to toot its horn at her in frustration, Brooke ran as fast as she could to Vanessa, grabbed her hand and spun her round. The last thing she saw was Vanessa’s shocked face as she took her face in her hands and kissed her, rough and protective and jealous, and Vanessa must have been able to tell because Brooke could feel her smile against her lips as Vanessa brought a hand up to tangle in her hair.

As Brooke broke the kiss, she started speaking and wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to stop. “I was wrong. I was a fucking idiot, actually. I do get jealous. Well, I never thought I did, but I do. I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else, kissing someone else, feeling some type of way about anyone else. And I’m frustrated it’s taken me this long to admit it because, what, I can tell you all the things I want you to do to me when we’re naked but I can’t tell you straight how I feel about you?”

Brooke was scared, frightened, terrified, all of that, but as she looked down she saw Vanessa’s eyes shining in the small amount of light they had on the street, and her smile beaming at her. She seemed so happy and it made Brooke wonder- had Vanessa wanted this all along? “I really fucking like you, Vanessa. That’s why I didn’t want Detox telling anyone about us, because if I fuck this up with you it’ll be the worst mistake I’ve made in my life and everyone would know, and I don’t want people thinking it’s just some fling between the lawyer and her secretary because fuck, I thought that was all it was too but then it just became so much more than that? It started to be about making you happy, and making you laugh, and getting to be close to you and spend time with you, and that scared me so much, you know? And that was why when you asked me if we should be exclusive I said no, because I started overthinking and I didn’t think you wanted that so I just went with it because I thought it’d make you happy, but now I feel like I’ve made a huge fucking mistake and-” Brooke cut herself off as she suddenly gasped for air, pulling Vanessa in close to her and being suddenly so afraid of losing her. She looked into her eyes as she spoke. “Please don’t go on that fucking date on Monday, Vanessa. Please be my girlfriend instead.”

The blood in Brooke’s veins gave a jump as she heard Vanessa gasp with delight as she spoke the word girlfriend, filling Brooke’s heart with so much hope that she felt as if she was on the very edge of a cliff, and if Vanessa said no now she might well go into cardiac arrest. In reply, Vanessa stood on her tiptoes and kissed Brooke gently, stroking her thumb against her cheek in an affectionate gesture that made Brooke want to melt. As Vanessa broke the kiss, she bit her lip and smiled. “God, Brooke, all you had to do was ask. Yes I’ll be your girlfriend. Jesus.”

And Brooke was suddenly so blinded with happiness that she picked up Vanessa, her girlfriend, her fucking girlfriend, and spun her around in the air in the middle of the street, the two of them laughing and giggling like teenagers and Brooke’s heart beating at a deafening pitch in her ears because she said yes, Vanessa was her girlfriend, Vanessa was her girlfriend, and the future was suddenly so bright and exciting and optimistic and full of colour and Brooke could suddenly see the beauty in every single little thing around them, even the fucking bins.

“There was no Nate, by the way,” Vanessa laughed, making Broke stop suddenly and put her down.

“What?”

“There was no Nate. And there was no date. I just wanted to make you jealous.”

“Well, you succeeded,” Brooke laughed, lacing her hand in Vanessa’s.

“I panicked. Said his name was Nate because it rhymed with date.”

Brooke burst out laughing and pressed a kiss to Vanessa’s hair. “You’re so stupid.”

She realised that neither of them had a clue where they were walking. Vanessa seemed to sense the same thing as she suddenly stopped, smiled seductively, and rested her hands on Brooke’s waist. “All night I’ve been thinking that dress would look better on the floor.”

Brooke let out a small whine. There was nobody, not a single person on earth, who could make her feel like Vanessa made her feel, and Brooke wouldn’t trade that for the world. “Come back with me?”

Vanessa leaned in and smiled, pressing her lips against Brooke’s before teasingly breaking away.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

[pjmnns]

Sue Me

You walked out when he broke your heart. Words were left unsaid, thoughts pushed away, unanswered questions left unanswered— remember when he said there was no second chance? When you run into each other at the same place you first met, he’s hoping to change the past. You say: So sue me for being something you couldn’t forget.

Lawyer!AU, ex-lovers!AU + twist // angst, fluff, crack (?)

Pairing: Reader X Jungkook

Rating: T (swearing)

Warnings: swearing and sum horrible attempt at writing crack, maybe shitty character development idk i tried guys

Word Count: 2.5k-ish

>> 1 / 2

High school y/n got nothing on you now.

The cool silk fabric trails down your curves, tickling at your skin as you slowly guide your dress down, the hem meeting a teasing length mid-thigh. Gazing into the mirror, you take in the new you. Although you’ve had the same body, the same skin, the same curves and dips for twenty years, a new confidence blooms in your chest, radiating through your bigger, brighter smile. You grin easy now, dimples deep and eyes shining as you finally have the confidence to feel yourself.

It’s been a slow burn towards this state of mind, recalling the throbbing numb that came after walking away from your first love. You still remember the empty silence, the blatant lack of words the moment both of you walked away without a second glance back, without a falter in your steps. Too many nights after, you laid in bed overwhelmed by every single theoretical thought and what if.

What if you hadn’t walked away?

What if you made it work by changing?

What if you fought for a second chance?

But then you remembered his words, remembered that there was no second chance. And with that, you chose to walk away with your head held high and step over the hole in your heart, choosing to ignore the burning wetness in your eyes and the throbbing numb in your chest.

Taking a final look in the mirror, the silk is a burning cool underneath your fingertips, hugging your figure in all the right places, teasing at all the perfect spots. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and move to leave your apartment, resounding determination in your step to make the night worth while.

xx

The music reverberates through the club, vibrations and bass pumping through your bloodstream as the neon lights illuminate your glistening skin. The club where you first met him. Going back, the feelings and memories wash over you as you clearly remember the night of your eighteenth birthday. Despite the good memory that mars the past, you instantly melt into the night, feeling high off of the music and the night lights, feeling yourself as a grin plays on your lips the entire night.

That is until you’re feeling yourself a little too much. As you move yourself to the music, your heel comes down on someone’s foot and your elbow collides with someone’s face.

“Shittt oh my god I am so sorry, are you okay??” genuine concern painted across your face as you immediately grab at the person whom you managed to assault twice. The person’s face is scrunched up in pain, a deep grimace settled into their features as they begin to follow the worried voice—

“Y/n?”

“Jungkook?”

Shit. Out of all people to run into at a club and of all people to accidentally attack, it had to be your boss. Coughing, you manage a sheepish smile as you correctly address him as Mr. Jeon and lead him to the bar to sit, your boss managing to limp along with you.

“Again I am so sorry Mr. Jeon, I didn’t notice you, I’m so sorry.”

He had never seen you outside the firm before, even more so he never would’ve expected to see you at a club. He found it funny how you were mumbling, at a loss for words clearly as you never had intended to hurt anyone, much less your boss. Jungkook managed the courtesy to offer you words of solace, rolling his foot and rubbing at the tender place where you had managed to strike him before.

“It’s okay y/n, stop worrying about it, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going either, it’s more so my fault than yours.” He flashed a genuine smile in hopes of comforting you, quick to notice the flush of rose that painted your cheeks.

—

You started working for Jungkook and the Jeon Firm your second year of undergrad, lucky enough to land a spot at one of the nation’s largest law firms as a legal intern. The fact that you had drowned yourself in work after the breakup really paid off since you were immediately hired to lend your skills and creativity as an extra person on staff, performing valuable work for the firm’s clients. You were placed under Jungkook, the Jeon family’s own youngest son and youngest lawyer at the firm who had made quite the reputation for himself considering so. You’ve been diligent and dedicated enough to secure your spot as the Jeon Jungkook’s intern.

—

Again remembering that you were at a nightclub, Jungkook asked if you wanted anything to drink, politely declining before stating that you had come by yourself so you were the only means of getting yourself home. Curious and albeit, surprised at the feat, he began light conversation, lifting your anxious nerves because of the fact that you still kept stealing glances at his now-bruised cheek.

Fighting back a smile, Jungkook couldn’t help but notice how different you appeared. Rather than your usual high ponytail, tonight your hair is down and softly curled, pouring down over your shoulders in waves, your hand moving through your loose hair simply. You wear an easy expression, a content smile that somehow makes Jungkook feel at ease too. He notices your eyes also soften underneath the night glow instead of the sharp and determined gaze you don at work, your eyes glimmer with a new longing for the night to last. The dress and heels really accentuating your body that was always disguised by conservative business wear. Jungkook had never really noticed how unfairly pretty you were, not just your appearance but your poise and the way you emit rapture for the moment. He really was taken away by how pretty you looked tonight and he was just starting to acknowledge the stir in his chest that blossomed whenever you walked into his office or addressed him.

Other than cases and clients, you never had the chance of witnessing the alleged charm that Jungkook carried. You’ve only heard about it through quiet whispers at the firm and the gossip that lingers in the coffee shop below the office. As of now, you were able to experience it first hand as he made the air around you comfortable and lax, talking about anything and everything that had you rolling your eyes and cracking smiles with your boss.

As the night wore on and you remained talking to Jungkook for maybe an hour now? Two? You were interrupted by: “Y/n?”

As your gaze moves away from Jungkook— Fuck. Oh god. WHY?

A part of you knew that there was a possibility of this happening. A part of you swore to yourself that this would happen. A part of you saw this coming. But you ignored it and chose to indulge in yourself.

He was there. He was really fucking there.

“Hoseok, um hi,” managing a small, forced smile.

Your ex. Your first love. One and the same.

The quirky smile and delicate gaze that you once adored was now adorned by a devilish smirk, dangerous intentions behind the glimmer that his eyes now bore. Despite his arm held around a girl’s waist, pressing her in closer to his athletic build, his face reflected genuine surprise at the fact that you were really there right in front of him. However his initial reaction quickly dissolved and he wore on the fuckboy expression that he had tried so desperately to procure after you guys broke up. Now he bears it so naturally, so effortlessly that it physically pains you.

Sensing the unspoken tension, Jungkook introduces himself to Hoseok, rising from his seat to stand in between the two of you. You hadn’t realized your shoulders were so tense, your hands clenched in white-knuckle fists, until Jungkook brushed your wrist, a brief sign of assurance.

Hoseok’s eyes dart between you and Jungkook, adamantly curious about your relationship and a part of you wishes that there wouldn’t be any mention of your strictly professional relation. As if Jungkook read your thoughts, he introduces himself as a close friend, the tension now wavering between the two men as neither of them moved to shake hands.

“Well, you seem a bit busy and we were just leaving so it’s been nice Hoseok.” Jungkook stands, taking you with him as he turns to leave, grabbing your hand to ensure you follow.

“I’ll see you again y/n” Hoseok calls after you but unlike the last time, you do look back, you do spare a glance, and you do feel the regret burning in your heart.

xx

After the encounter with your ex at the place you first met, you really had lost all motivation for making the most of your night. Although it was supposed to be your big comeback, at least in your own regard, you still felt defeated by the lingering thoughts. You were more than grateful for Jungkook’s ability to read the situation and interfere, otherwise you wouldn’t have known what to do, although it might’ve been something along the lines of breaking down in tears or having a dramatic outburst of pent up anger and careless thoughts. He announced to you that he would walk you to your car, chuckling at the fact that he himself felt the need to. Cute.

Because you were grateful to your boss as well as still majorly apologetic for assaulting him twice, you felt obligated to offer an explanation for the encounter with Hoseok. You detailed the very cliche yet sentimental start to your relationship, Hoseok being your first love in high school and for a while, it felt like it was the two of you against the world.

“Forever and always was his thing. I didn’t think much of it besides the fact that it was basically a promise, a commitment I guess, and a part of me will always think that I took it for granted.”

“He cheated on me for about three months before I caught on, with the one person that really made it the worse,” shaking your head in embarrassment as you recall the past. “My childhood best friend,” you laugh as you explain. “He had this twisted aspiration for fucking around but who knew it meant screwing your best friend.” As you steadily explained to Jungkook the mutual breakup, your choice in walking away yet succumbing to the doubts and unanswered questions, you told him that a part of you really wanted to go running back to Hoseok, wanting a second chance. “No second chance he said… I was devastated, like, like I owed him something and he didn’t even give me the opportunity to make it up to him. What a dumbass,” acknowledging yourself.

While you were telling Jungkook, he silently listened and recognized the fallout of a once-promising relationship. He nodded his head often, urging you to go on whenever you hesitated, feeling like you were being an annoyance. Yet Jungkook felt good, he felt comfortable hearing your talk about your personal life, especially to him. He wanted to say something but he really didn’t know exactly what to say so as you made your way into your car, he simply wished you a good night and thanked you for talking to him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then y/n,” sending you a final smile as he leaned into your car window, his stare lingering for a moment as he searched your face, looking for more words to say. Both of you forgetting the initial cause of your encounter concerning a sore foot and slightly bruised cheek, rather indulging in the last moments of your time together as you moved on into the later hours of the night.

For some reason, you felt a little more at ease as you drove home. As if finally telling someone about what had happened to your relationship with Hoseok really lifted deadweight off your chest, letting you breathe a little easier. Even after the shitty run in with your ex, you drove home smiling to yourself and you didn’t even know why.

xx

Y/n! Please attend the Seoul High School Reunion Night! 7pm at the Grand Resort for reception, 11pm begins After Party at Club SeoulNite. RSVP.

Clutching the invite, your thoughts wager between wanting to go for yourself and not wanting to go for your sanity. After the night at the club, you’ve gone slightly insane over reliving the memories, good and bad. As much as you tried to convince yourself, your newfound conviction didn’t run as deep as the past that you had with him, the scars still throbbing with a dull pain.

“Y/n, do you need a day off?”

You’re quickly startled as you realize Jungkook had asked you a question, obviously inquiring about the invite. As he stood with you in the coffee shop underneath the office, ordering and then settling with you at a table near the window, he asked to see the invite. After sliding it towards him across the table, you watch as he picks it up and scan the paper, the edges of his mouth tugging upwards as he tries to play it off.

“Okay I’ll go with you. It’ll be fun.”

Despite the fact that you actually hadn’t asked him to be your plus one. Despite the fact that you actually hadn’t asked your boss to be your date. Your expression reflected the same sheer amount of shock and surprise and confusion that washed over your thoughts like a tidal wave, gaping mouth, wide eyes, and all. You quickly searched his face for any hint of sarcasm or major antics, yet all you could read was genuine interest and earnestness.

“Uh, what.”

“Obviously judging by your face while you stared at the invite for two straight minutes, you were debating on whether or not to attend which may or may not be completely motivated by your ex-douchebag boyfriend making a guaranteed appearance. So what I mean by is, I’ll be your date so you have a little boost of confidence in really showing off the new old you while managing to one up that asshole,” casting a defiant and smug look on his face when he finished.

You really couldn’t deny what your boss was saying because he basically summarized your thought process from the last five minutes. Except for the part where you take your boss as a date. Yet as you mulled over his proposition, your desire to finally be able to let go of Hoseok once and for all, to purge all the unanswered questions and mindless thoughts from your head overshadowed any conviction against the proposal.

xx

As you carefully write a number two on the line besides the RSVP, you couldn’t help but wonder at what outcome was to be expected from this entire situation. A part of you was honestly terrified of what would happen, terrified of the consequences affecting more than you were ready to let be affected. Yet the other part of you wanted this, constantly reminding yourself that doing this would be doing one for yourself, realizing that letting yourself free was more important than any other thing in the world right now.

“Fuck it y/n. Hoseok can sue you for moving on. His sorry ass can sue you for doing everything right.”

—

Helloooo everyone!! I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’ve been meaning to write this after I kept listening to Sabrina Carpenter’s new album, especially Sue Me,, obviously. The lyrics are pretty good so I kinda wrote this loosely based off of them so hopefully its not too bad. Lmk if you caught the plot twist and if I actually got you, ngl I was pretty impressed with myself. Like always drop me a message and thanks for reading xx

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 3- “Y'all wanted magic within and we delivered- case closed”-Autumn

Another super fun challenge! I want to shout out to the hosts for just doing a great job so far. This is making this quarantine just a little less terrible. So happy we have immunity and getting our first reward is so exciting! I’ve been trying my best to connect with members outside of my tribe in the great hall chat and get close with my tribe mates. For the most part I really trust all of them. And that’s horribly scary. I really love being on hufflepuff. But I have a feeling a swap is gonna happen. Kevin told me he thinks it’s going to be 2 tribes of 8. We will see. GL to slytherin and ravenclaw! 

HOES MAD 

https://giphy.com/gifs/lifeminute-birthday-rihanna-3fihINg62RNynS9cbY 

I'm so dead and drained rn but I look forward to reading this round and seeing how heated people are over this. And this will definitely follow me the entire game but you know what I'm glad. Don't let the 16 month hiatus fool you: when I show up I show out. Everything is mind over matter in a way and y'all caught me on a good day so I was just like fuck it I'll do this all day if I have to. So I walked into that challenge at 11:30 am and deadass my phone never left my side... for 9 1/2 hours. Also y'all know I'm at my best when I'm an underdog? So of course I went all out, please tell me you didn't expect anything less. And can I just say Gryffindor legitimately and collectively earned that because everyone participated and put points up. So yes I am that girl but I do it for the squad because I know they'll do it for me. BIG ups though to Vi and Jess- I don't care what their alliances were before today they better have each other's backs and I'll riot if they don't both survive. Literally do the right thing and send a man home. And the same goes for Ravenclaw! I wanna know what's going on over there and I'm not picky but send a man or inactive home if you can. Let it be known that I literally came into this game to raise hell for Dan and Owen lmaaaaooo. I mean I don't want them to go (yet) because that's not what good frenemies do and where's the fun in that. We make each other's arcs better and if we're cast, there will be a fight to the death sooner or later. But until then! Yes I am absolutely living for them sweating it out for a full round. Can y'all believe it? They finally lost at something God is so good. Would've loved to make Hufflepuff sweat too but hey. There's always next round

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/UnsungOblongBlesbok-max-1mb.gif

14 minutes later

Also I just wanna say that 6:00 hour was chef's kiss. In my entire org career, I have never been on a tribe that pulled off a shutout like that and that was ICONIC. Hoes mad but did your entire tribe come together and get a streak of points nonstop for upwards of an hour?? No ma'am you did not. I kept us alive all day but that hour was THE hour that took Gryffindor from 4th to 2nd and that's how you win immunity. Y'all wanted magic within and we delivered- case closed

I don't trust Nick at all. I know in the back of his mind he's thinking i'm gonna play like our previous game which I wasn't exactly loyal to him because I was loyal to some bitch ass alliance that ended up... ANYWAYS. So he seems like the type of player to keep that into consideration because he happened recently and he's sort of a newer player. So I have to be mindful of this all and as much as i'm STRESSING the fact that obviously there were external factors in that game.. that won't impact this game kind of a deal. I know this all could just be my paranoid little brain and thinking that he's out to get me when he's not.. but I haven't played any back to back games in FOREVER and when something THAT FRESH happens.. it's hard for me to not have the after thought of: Wow Nick must think i'm an loyal person who won't tell him my real thoughts. 

 But Nick gonna be a scary player down the line. He's already in my pm's bragging about how him, Landen, and I think his name is Matt? idk one of the "Weebz" (still don't know what that means) and how he will have those potential relationships moving forward.. I just... don't.... understand..... him. ANYWAYS

 The thing is... I think? I can trust Jacob fully. I think this vote SHOULD BE EASY.. but I can't help but feel really fucking bad. Like terrible. Like extremely heart broken about voting out VI. She's put her all into everything and honestly I would be so mad if i've given my all and these two dweebz didn't even show up to the comp. I know she's gonna be upset and I hate knowing that. So i'm TRYING to take emotions out of this decision and make this all strategical and within the game environment because if I was voting with my HEART i'd keep her. BUT then I have that voice in the back of my head that is saying "But if you save Vi.... she'll be loyal to you!" BUT ALSO... I know from HOSTING VI... is that Vi is only loyal to... the fun she has. If she gets bored she fucks around. She's a crackhead. But I obviously can't VOICE THIS TO ANYONE because they could flip this and reverse this on ME. 

I'm scared that if I cast any form of doubt about the vote to Jacob he will relay the message to Nick and well I become more threatening than Vi at this point because I pointed the gun at him... SO I was fucking around with the idea of... using my idol on myself, causing a 2 to 2 tie.. and well.. unless Jacob wants to go to rocks by himself... and basically get voted out.. Mr. Nick goes. But it's LITERALLY FINAL 18............ If this was final 11, sure i'd do this in a heart beat... but this is such a bad bitch move i'm scared people will see I got something on my resumé already. They'll see I went against an alliance for VI. It's just so risky.. but I told myself i'd have FUN in this game.. I just don't want to make a move purely on a past game or purely on emotion. I want to be making moves that move me forward in the game..

I LOVE JOANNA!!! THIS IS A JOANNA APPRECIATION POST!!!!!! and dan has the idol. 

Unsurprisingly, we lost the challenge. I worked my lil booty off as best as I could (I did give up but that is beside the point at this current moment) and I have been friendly, fricking nice as all hell, and then Miguel wants to vote me out. And honey... I think that sealed your fate. I am working on being a little more ruthless I guess because I really want to win this game, so if you come for me, you bet I'm coming for you. I've always made jury and I don't think that this is the season I'm getting stuck with pre-jury. Miguel is the only relationship I don't feel confident in so... bye sis. 

The immunity challenge was a hard-fought battle, but we managed to pull out a win near the end. It was the most stressful time of my life. Honestly, I felt that if we lost then I would get voted out next. Thankfully, that did not happen. However, this is a huge wake up call for me to get my ass into gear and start being more social with my tribe. Otherwise, I might find myself in the bottom and that is not a position I want to be in.

AHHHH so my tribe won immunity and reward and things are great!  Someone mentioned yesterday (Kevin?? Maybe) that this means we are the last tribe to have to see tribal council and that is a GREAT THING!  I really wonder who is going to go home- I just hope it isn't Owen.  I also really hope he still wants to work with me if we end up on a tribe together. In other news, I'm curious to see if a swap is about to happen.  With a double tribal happening tonight it seems as though it would be a big maybe! Also I'm still irritated that my glee shirt didn't count as a band tee, when everyone asks what kind of music I like the first thing I always say is 'anything by the cast of glee' xD I don't feel like I was much help in the challenge but I was there and got points for wine and sequins if that means anything. 

doing this ON TIME.. anyways chile. WOO WE DID IT! finally not coming in last hehe. god the amount of i was just frantically running around my house.. well thank god my family didn’t question it for the most part hehe. overall this challenge was super duper fun and i’m HOPING we can continue to win some because the stress of my tribe wanting to go against me.. yea it’s there. hopefully my paranoia is just that and i have nothing to worry abt ✨

Hey all you cool cats and kittens! It’s Dan, not Carole Baskin, but with the same crackhead energy. So Miss Miguel should be leaving tonight! It’s not anything personal at all. He’s a really sweet guy, but he’s just not around. I work mad hours a week and still make time for this stuff. Joanna is worried because she knows her name is going around so as long as she doesn’t try to pull something, everything is good. I think the chances of that happening are slim to none honestly. I feel like had I been able to compete in the comp I could have helped way more than others. I have a ton of random shit in my apartment that was asked for!!! I was a little shady toward Jacob in the Great Hall chat so lettuce pray that he doesn’t act like a petty fool if we swap together. I am kinda anticipating a swap after this tribal but we’ll see!!! 

we won immunity and nothing has changed on my tribe for me since my last confessional woo consistency yay c:

im sad. we have to vote out vi which is so sad. i love her shes so sweet but i have suhc a tight bond with jess and nick that like there isnt another option. but ugh someone hold my hand

Darn, we were so close to winning, yet so far. Always remember, the unintentional matsing is just as mighty as the intentional, so 3 of us making swap or merge is much more advantageous than a unit of 4. I love my tribe, I do, and I genuinely feel I may be in danger! I trust Jess and Jacob though (JJJ: Jess, Jacob, Jay), so I’m hoping for another unanimous decision. (I will probably be asleep at tribal since I have 1 hour of sleep today)

So out tribe basically gave everything they could in a 12 hour challenge of Hell. I tried especially hard thinking I would be voted out if we lost because no one really talks "game" with me. I know that side seasons are 'Survivor Lite' but typically people at least talk game. I know I wasnt the target from last vote because everyone assured me they want to work with me and Josh said to vote him out in the tribe chat. Apparently though Josh wanted to do a blindside and reached out to Autumn to let her know asking me if he had asked me. So honestly Autumn is the truest! The other two notnvoting me inlobe seeing but if Josh talked to them then... hm Anyway I cant play a perfect game anymore :( Also I have officially dug through all of Hagrids things and he has no idol for me. I thought he might have something in could take and use somewhere else since he is a keeper of keys. But naw.

Guess who lost by two points!! Fricking Nicholas and Jacob leaving us for 7 hours. Then nick only showed up for the last 3ish but he didn’t even submit anything. Wth? We’re gonna try to kick him out.

i love my tribe so much we keep having more and more fun each time :D i definitely think after max's april fools prank i'm even more inclined to want to vote him if we lose, but i'm also grateful he's not really gone because mayhaps a weeb alliance in the future is possible.... !!! i also always utilize the great hall segments to make myself known and thought about even if people also think i'm a bit annoying, idc, the main thing is they remember me and when we meet on a swap or something i am one of the first they choose to talk to! it is always an important strategy of mine, people don't realize that in big games, one of the most crucial things you can do is leave a big first impression on people on the other tribes, you have the lucky opportunity to get some spaces where you meet them in ORGs unlike in the real world - USE it to let them form an idea of you in their head and decide they like you before they even meet you, it's a weird phenomena but i've found it's one of my most consistent strategies, when i actually decide to employ it (flashback to me being so lazy in 2020 i barely even used one world.. eep) hufflepuff is cute and we WILL be continuing to make marshmallow moves, until i get to make my own independent marshmallow moves to win

Soooo we finally lost a challenge kfjahsdj time to put this alliance to the test! The answer seemed pretty clear to me though - everyone kinda just wants to do Miguel. I feel bad, because I do think these competitions have NOT played to his strengths at all and I know he can be a great competitor. And I really wanted to get to know him again this time around. For a second, Dan and I considered saving him as a loyal number... but I just can't do that to Joanna, who has rlly busted her ass lately. So tonight it's a harder choice than it seems, but ultimately, I'm going with Miguel, and I told him that. I really wish he would've put more effort into our conversations before he was in trouble lmao. Also, DAN FOUND THE IDOL HEHEHEEH so that's great :) Glad to know he trusted me enough to tell me about it! I think he's probably going to be pretty loyal this time to me? And I feel like I have to give that same courtesy back to him. Someone will probably take one of us out eventually. I rlllly do not want to stress. If for some reason they blindside me tonight or Miguel has another idol or something, it has been fun <3

[peter-parkers-backpack]

67 Chevy Impala

A/N: So I’ve finally written my first fanfic (I’m so nervous rn), hope you like it! Constructive criticism is fine, but no hate please:) Please send in requests! School is starting soon so I may not do them right away, but I will as soon as possible. I’d love feedback, even an emoji to see if you liked it or not, thanks:) One more thing and I’ll stop rambling, please no reposts, ok I’m done now. Enjoy!

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Winchester!Reader

Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming, Supernatural

Summary: When a new family rolls into town, one member catches Peter Parker’s eye. But something’s off about them.

Words: Idk but it’s sorta long sooooo

Warnings: Overprotective brothers, vampires, cutting off heads

Part 2

Peter Parker liked cars, he didn’t love them, or know every part in them like Tony Stark, but he thought they were cool. 

So when a 67 Chevy Impala rolls into the school parking lot, he couldn’t help but stare. Although, when the person in the backseat came out, Peter forgot all about the car. 

Soon enough, Peter was scared. Not of (Y/n), but of her older brothers. The oldest didn’t go to school anymore, but made sure to glare at anyone who stared at his younger sibling as he was dropping her off. No one dared to come near her when he was around. Especially since he clearly had the ability to beat anyone up before they could say ‘sorry’.

The middle child of the family was a senior, only two years older than (Y/n). Like his brother, he was not the type of kid that got shoved into lockers. He looked after her during school. No one wanted to mess with him either.

Peter wasn’t one to dare to be on their bad side. Even after the countless reminders from Ned that he had his spider-strength. 

Peter did notice things though, from afar. He noticed how she always seemed to jump a little more than normal when someone accidently scared her. He noticed she always seemed to be alert, as if something was going to jump out of the shadows. He noticed that when someone did something out of the ordinary, (Y/n) always reached toward her back pocket, then sighed in defeat when what she wanted wasn’t there.

It was three weeks before Peter had actually had a conversation with her, not including polite greetings in the hallways. Also not counting the many times he had practiced with his Spider-Man mask on in the mirror.

He had been paired up with her for a project in science, and couldn’t be more thrilled. Until he found out this was a project that wasn’t worked on at school. Meaning he would have to go to her place, because he knew there was no way she would be allowed to go to his apartment. He sighed, Peter honestly felt bad for her. 

“So do you want to go to my place after school, or yours?” she asked, breaking him out of his thoughts “either way works for me.”

“Uh, y-yours is fine.” he managed to get out, cursing himself for declining the opportunity to avoid seeing her brothers. 

“Ok, I’ll meet up with you after school then?”

“Yeah, t-that sounds g-great.” he felt his cheeks heating up.

“Cool, see ya then Peter.” and with a turn on her heel, she had left the classroom. 

He couldn’t believe he had a chance to get to know her. Not just pick up on the fact that she was better at science than math, or that she threw her head back when she laughed, but actually get to know her. 

But by the end of the day, he seemed to be more nervous than ever. When the bell rang he said bye to Ned, who winked and wished him good luck. Not helping Peter’s case at all. Then he made is way to where (Y/n) would be.

At the doors to the school stood (Y/n), her hair flowing beautifully in the breeze, and the light from the sun hit her eyes perfectly. Peter knew he was screwed. 

“Hiya Peter!” she said cheerfully.

“H-hey (Y/n)” then an idea popped in his head, Mr. Delmar’s sandwiches “Would you like to-” but he was cut off by a horn coming from none other than a 67 Chevy Impala.

“Would I like to what?” 

“O-oh nothing, i-it’s no big deal”

She nodded her head “Okay, maybe some other time. Well, there’s my brothers.”

As they got into the car, the driver, who Peter knew to be the oldest brother, stared at Peter “Who’s this? Why is he here?”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes “Dean, I texted you, this is Peter Parker, he and I have a science project we have to work on tonight.” 

The car ride was extremely awkward for Peter. (Y/n)’s brothers, who he learned to be Sam and Dean, would not stop glaring at him.

“So Parker, what are your hobbies?” Sam asked, probably not meaning to, but sounding very intimidating. 

“O-oh, well I used to be in robotics club and band, so I enjoy those, b-but I’m on the academic decathlon team.”

“Why’d you quit band and robotics club?“ Dean quizzed on.

(Y/n) answered for him “He has an internship with Tony Stark. It takes up most of his time.”

Peter threw her a ‘thank you’ look, to which she smiled back.

(Y/n) knew her brothers were very intimidating and loved to scare off any boy she met, even if they were just a friend. She truly didn’t like it and they got in many arguments over the matter, but they never seemed to stop. Normally Dean was hilarious and fun to be around, while Sam was her dorky older brother. But in these situations, any sense of humor they had seemed to drain out of them, replaced by the attitude they had while hunting. 

“Stark, huh? What’s that like? Who all have you met?” Sam genuinely seemed curious in his question, and (Y/n) knew it was because Sam was a total nerd about superheroes. 

“I-it’s pretty cool. I-I’ve met Tony, but just once. I’ve seen Captain America from a distance.” He knew he couldn’t tell them the truth, almost laughing at the thought of their faces if the figured out he stole Steve’s shield and fought off Falcon and Bucky.

“Haven’t you met Spider-Man?” (Y/n) asked, remembering a day in gym class.

Sam looked both surprised and impressed as Peter answered “Y-yeah, he’s a pretty cool dude.”

Peter was confused when they showed up at a hotel, but didn’t question anything. That would definitely not be the best for him at the moment. 

Throughout the whole time they were there, Peter noticed things. He noticed that not only did the boys refuse to leave the room, but they also studied. Even Dean, who wasn’t in school, had a book with weird lettering in his hands. He noticed that they all had army green bags that seemed to be filled with heavy things, not clothes. He also noticed that there were four people’s things. Four dirty dishes, four bags, four toothbrushes. But he never had seen four people. So, Peter assumed that the family had another member, that never seemed to be around. 

But he didn’t worry about that much longer. He spent the whole time laughing and studying with (Y/n).

The next day at school, Peter couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He found himself staring at lunch, wondering what she was writing in english, and thinking about when the next time they would work on the project in science. He had thought he had it bad with Liz.

A few days later, she didn’t show up for school. And the day after that, she and Sam left early, four hours early. The next day they came back with bruises, and then they were gone from school again.

That’s when, as curious as Peter was, he decided to see where they were going. So, dressed as Spider-Man, Peter watched the hotel room from afar until the 67 Chevy Impala came roaring out of the parking lot.

Slinging his webs, he followed them to an abandoned house, where the three met a man much older than them. That must be their father.

Dean went to the trunk and pulled it open, then he popped up another lid revealing multiple guns, knifes and other weapons. 

Peter was shocked, to say the least. But he wondered if they were the bad guys, or if they were fighting them. 

“Okay, I’ve tracked the Vamps down to here. According to their conversations I’ve been able to hear, there is three vics.” the father said.

Vamps? Did he mean vampires? And three victims? Peter didn’t know what to think.

Then he saw (Y/n) pull a large machete out of the trunk and was now more curious than ever. What the hell was going on?

Then, seemingly out of no where, a man with fangs jumped out, followed by another six. Their father fought off the biggest one, while the others fought off two at a time. Peter was amazed at how well (Y/n) could fight. He probably would have been super exited to, if he wasn’t so freaked out by the situation. He came to peace with it sooner than normal people would have. If there were superheroes, why couldn’t there be vampires, and possibly more, to.

Sam and Dean seemed to have gotten the easiest four, because they had chopped of the head’s of theirs pretty easily, then left to help their father. 

Peter was a little uneasy about seeing heads falling to the floor, but knew he had to step in when (Y/n) looked like she needed help. She had taken one down, but the other knocked her machete out of her hands, leaving her with nothing. 

He leapt out of the shadows and shot his web right at the vamp’s neck. (Y/n), after getting through the shock that Spider-Man was here, took the web, wrapped it around his head, and pulled hard enough to cut it off.

By this time the others had killed the other one as well, and all of them were staring at Spider-Man, not knowing he was the kid they had met a few days prior. 

“Thanks Spidey” (Y/n) laughed.

“Anytime” Peter answered, thankful for the mask hiding his blushing. 

Then she turned to her brothers and father “You guys go ahead, I’ll clean up a bit”

Clearly they didn’t want to, but after a death glare, which even caused Peter to step back even though it wasn’t directed at him, they turned around and walked out.

“Wow, I’m surprised that worked” she laughed.

“I’m not” Peter said, causing her to laugh more.

“Well, I don’t know who you are, but you probably think I’m a freak now.” she scratched the back of her head and looked to her shoes.

“I’ve never thought you were a freak (Y/n)” Peter said honestly “And I’m not gonna start now”

She looked up “I know you?” then after thinking a bit she looked shocked “Peter”

He lifted his mask and (Y/n) saw the adorable kid she had grown to love from her science class. 

Using every ounce of courage she ever had, (Y/n) stepped forward and kissed him.

Until, “Wha- who is that- PARKER”

[soranihimawari]

No Risk, No Reward

taglist: @kaidasen

Notes: this is the final chapter and a mini-epilogue of No Risk, No Reward.

I initially started this out as an ot3 fic focusing on the friendship of Akaashi, Bokuto, and Muda, but then everything changed once i started typing part 5.

“the final part”

🏵🏵epilogue comes out on 6/2/2020🏵🏵

______________________________________________________________

ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟞 :

I kissed Bokuto like how I wanted to be kissed; when our lips mashed together, I heard him whimper against the surprise answer. I wanted to destroy his lips and when he hungrily pushed back my kiss, he was satisfied with the answer. My hands gripped his shoulders again; I wondered if he knew how strong I was because my knuckles were stiff from the fistful of cotton fabric his shirt was made of.

The next thing I knew, Bokuto had taken me into his arms again and lifted me up. Ok. I knew he was strong earlier, but now? What in the high holy hell Kotaro? Do I have to keep up with you so we could exhaust the other with our nuanced emotions? I thought when he pushed his tongue back inside my mouth. C’mon Ko. Give into me like a moth to a flame. Keep up with me...

I raised a hand to his cheek and he leaned into my palm. Bokuto knew I couldn’t sleep like this with the way he’s been acting; his kisses render me defenseless against his statement (tell me you’re mine bounced around my brain for a few seconds).

I tilted my head in the opposite direction while he followed my lead. Our necks cracked gently releasing the built up CO2 in our vertebrae (allowing for our shoulder muscles to relax more). 

I pulled away first to catch my breath taking short deep breaths, but also I needed to touch the ground. I wasn’t going to let Bokuto just carry me all through the night. Although, he still held me with one arm on my back.  

“You make my heartbeat in irregular rhythms, damn it. I can hear my pulse in my ears,” I began. “So don’t get too haughty and worked-up if I don’t tell you I’m yours. I do not belong to the people I love, got that?”

Bokuto nodded, he was breathing normally now. He never heard me use my captain tone, but he didn’t mind. I know he could tell I was being a bit grouchy since technically I was about to fall asleep when he knocked on my door. What is with that shine in his eyes anyways? Bokuto and I both knew we’re sailing in uncharted waters here without Akaashi to guide us, I thought. I picked up a different hair tie that was within arms’ reach located on my night stand and tied up my hair again. 

“I’m going to sleep now. I think you should try to sleep too, Hotaru,” he said. My name rolled off his tongue in a delicate way. I liked the way it wafted through the air like fireflies on a spring night.

A sheepish grin emerged on my face because I thought he wanted to sleep here. Then it dawned on me I wasn’t sitting on my bed just yet.

“Oh,” I said when I rolled over to my mattress. I had gotten used to how my body felt next to his the times he had picked me up and I clutched the closest pillow to bury my face in. A chortled laugh escaped my mouth only to be squinting at the beaming grin on his face.

Bokuto was about to walk toward my doorway and when I reached for arm to stop him, I couldn’t resist saying this:

“I didn’t know you also needed tutoring in anatomy and physiology either, hahaha.” 

Bokuto turned around so I could see that his face suddenly exploded with rose colored blushes under his eyes. I sat down like a child immediately and folded my arms over my chest and politely kicked him out of my room.

This time, I let him leave my door ajar. Not even ten minutes later, he came back inside with two glass bottles of apple juice. I had already closed my eyes and turned away from the door when he nudged me with the bottle. 

“Mmm…?” I was deliriously drowsy. It was way past my personal bed time, but seeing him kneeling down next to my bed made me sit up and scoot over.

“Drink this first and then go to sleep, ok?” He instructed. I nodded and opened the juice with the twist cap. I took a few short chugs and placed the empty one on the floor. I watched him do the same when he finished his. He leaned against my mattress when he sat down.

“Where did you learn to kiss like that?” Bokuto’s query caught me off guard. I wasn’t sure why he was curious, but when I saw he was tapping the corner of his mouth, he furrowed his brows. I placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Does it matter?” I asked. I used my free hand to comb a loosened portion of of my hair behind my ear. I nudged the nape of his neck then said in a kind, but teasing tone in the spot closest to his ear: “You’re the one who knocked on my door and kissed me first Ko. What was that about anyway?”

“Usually the members of the volleyball team we praise when I get a play right,” he turned to face me. He really did look like a shy version of himself. “I thought maybe instead of telling you how I felt, like Akaashi said I should, I just kissed you and I didn’t know if—”

“But I kissed you back, you dork!” I tapped his shoulder so he could turn to see me. I flicked his forehead and he made a confused face.

“Oh yeah?” He teased. “I don’t remember.” 

I rolled my eyes. 

“Get out of my room.” 

I laid myself back down and turned my back to him. I was bothered by his lack of respect for my sleeping patterns. 

“You did kiss me back; you’re mine now, you know.”

His voice was low, but he was grinning like an idiot. It wasn’t like I had intended to kiss him back at all. I’d be an absolute fool if I didn’t enjoy any of it; at the very least, I know I felt my cheeks get hot when he said that. I could tell Bokuto bit his lip when he chuckled at how my body twitched when I got flustered.

“Of course I am. Ko, simmer down and go get some sleep, please? Leave me alone for a few hours, that’s all I ask because I don’t know if I could handle being in the same room with you right now.”

“OK. Oh, for the record, I love you too. Night babe,” he said. I heard him pick up the empty juice bottles when he stood up to head out to the kitchen area. I was already dozing off after I told my heart rate to return to normal so I couldn’t hear him come back to pull my door shut. 

***

The next morning... 

10:32a.m.  To:ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ From: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘ What the hell happened last night? Bokuto told me he kissed you? Nani da fuq Muda!

10:38a.m. To: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘ From: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

Yes, Akaashi. Bokuto did kiss me, but that’s all I’m going to confirm. Idk where he went because as of right now, he isn’t here. My mom left for work hours ago, so maybe he went out for a run to clear his head. I’d like to think last night was a fever dream. 

10:58 a.m. To:ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ  From: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘ What a time for Bokuto to figure out he likes you & you kissed him back. That’s great. My 2 best friends happened to fall in love leaving me as the third wheel (sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell, lol).  We got the next two days free of morning practice since the whole team needed some time off to take make-up exams for various classes. Is it ok if I hang out with you tomorrow? My biology essay needs a once over about the human nervous system. I’m gonna be hanging out with Shuichi, so I’ll stop by your apartment on the way home.

11:29 a.m.

To: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘ From: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

Are you jealous Akaashi? If you would of told me you felt the same way about me a long time ago, maybe when you get into the same university i plan on attending, i’d probably out match you physically, lmao, jk jk. I can’t do that to you, Keiji. Bokuto would literally kill me. Anyways, he found his way back! he wanted to buy me coffee before we started studying. see ya later lil owl-chan. 

***

Bokuto and I have been dating for a few weeks now. It was not that big of a change for us. I guess because of our time away from each other due to club activities we kept tabs on each other via phone calls and sms messaging. My season as archery captain was coming to a close and when the week of the inter-high competition came around, I told Bokuto, Akaashi, Kaori, and Yukie to come see me perform. Somehow word spread among the other friends they had made in neighboring schools like Nekoma and Karasuno about the solo archer who was dating the Fukurodani ace. 

Every time I went to my usual archery range on campus grounds, someone from the team would be there to help me build my targets before their team started warm ups. One time, I didn’t notice that practice had concluded early enough since the coach of the Fukurodani Volleball Club, ‎Takeyuki Yamiji, had a prior engagement to attend to with his family. Both Nekoma and Karasuno’s members were using our school gyms for practice since the invitation was extended to them on occasion. I had gotten myself more familiar with the ladies who managed Karasuno’s team since Nekoma had none (except I finally learned the name of their captain). 

I looked down at my notebook with the tally marks for misses and hits. In high school tournaments, you pass to the next round with the average number of hits you make. I strung up my bow earlier this afternoon and began to test how taut my bow was, when I was finally able to hear the tsurune (the vibration of the bowstring) clearly, I moseyed over to my quiver filled with ten practice arrows. 

“No risk, no reward,” I said. I peered over my shoulder to make sure none of the volleyball players were coming to scare me even though the one time Kuroo did, Bokuto quarreled with his friend. I squinted at the large target from fifteen feet away and nodded. I took my warrior stance and began to take a deep inhale through my nose at the same time, I picked up an arrow. When I had exhaled, I had laced my arrow through and inhaled a short breath this time. I kept both my eyes opened, my hand that gripped the bow was steady. I drew the string back and when my hand grazed my lip, I exhaled and released my arrow. 

It flew in the air in slow motion until it landed on the target. Six more arrows were shot in succession each hitting the various distance markers. Volleyball practice for the guys were almost done, but apparently, the three team captains decided to call it an hour earlier than expected since Bokuto wanted to watch me practice a bit more, so he went on ahead to watch my genius at work.

*** end

[ainatravelsto]

South Korea Trip 2k16; Day 2 (Seoul)

Hey!

Congrats, you made it to day 2! (LONG OVERDUE SORZ ITS THE 4TH WEEK OF MY SUMMER SEM IM DYING) (update: nah didnt finish it on my 4th week.... i finished this during my sem break... heh)

Instead of visiting historical places there’s one thing I’ve been wanting way before we arrived in Seoul..... Visit K-pop entertainment companies/buildings.

Yes. I’m actually a K-pop fan, probably one of the main reasons why we went there for a holiday djskhdjkhkdhsajkdkhsda. I told my parents that I at least need a day where I can visit as many companies as I can since one day is not enough tbh. My parents agreed that my bro can follow me to while hunting down these buildings while both my mom and dad went to visit other places around Seoul.

I initially wanted to wake up a lil early but as usual, we suck at waking up early so we were kind of behind schedule. We got ready asap and then had breakfast at the Italian restaurant in our hotel called 3 Birds. I would recommend this restaurant but I won’t because of their RUDE staff. They looked like they were forced to be there y’know? They also take away food tooooo quick right on the dot when the buffet is over.... When there are still people picking out food. I get that it’s over but it would be rude to take away all the food while someone’s still picking out their food? No?

Ok after we’re done with breakfast both of us separate. We bought our T-Money card to use for the subway stations a day before so we just went to one of the nearest stations and went to the first place on our list. Before we arrived at our first destination, we stopped by stations halfway to find advertisements of one of my favorite idols. I’m a huge fan of a group called BTS especially one of the vocalists, named Taehyung, stage name V (let’s just call him Taehyung plox). It was his birthday month so many of his fans (or just fansites) put up advertisements for his birthday at selected subway stations around Seoul. We found like 2 that day and wow I didn’t imagine myself seeing it with my own eyes instead of being behind the screen. I’ve always seen pics of Korean fans posting pics of them posing for the ads. It’s just surreal I’m there y’know,,,,, as a fan. As you can see in the photos, I was REALLY happy.

So after the mini photo shoot, we continued on to our first destination. The first destination is actually, Big Hit Entertainment, aka BTS’ company. I felt that I should visit the office at least once in my life since I’m a huge fan. I have realized that many fans are confused on where the hell is the building because it’s very low-key not like YG or SM so to those who need help, I can help y’all with this. However, it’s not very detailed and apparently, Big Hit already moved to a bigger office at Apgugeong??? If I’m not mistaken? But if you’re curious then:

The nearest metro station to the building was Line 3 Sinsa Station so that’s where we stopped.

1. You walk out of Exit 1 of Sinsa station and just walk straight and take a right after 5 blocks. There should be blocks of buildings on your right anyway with small roads going on a small hill.

2. Take the 2nd street on your left and on the 3rd block, you should be able to see Big Hit on your right. 

3. If you’re lost with all these instructions (LIKE I WAS PREVIOUSLY) Google Maps does wonders. I also used Waze but it is based on you using a car. So stick with Google Maps since you’re walking and search ‘Big Hit Entertainment’. Some of the locations they give MIGHT be false so prepare yourself for that.

*It might look lowkey scary going on your own so pls bring someone with you.

Tbh, we almost got lost a few times but eventually, we found our way. We walked a few places and later we found it. Shout out to Google Maps for saving our asses. I’m amazed how we didn’t need to ask anyone to find our way. Bles technology!

OH STORY TIME: I coincidentally bumped into BTS’ manager right in front of us when we were finding Big Hit. 

Yep, that’s right. He’s probably the reason why I could find Big Hit because he was heading that way dsjgdkhjsagydsgkdskks. When we were almost got to Big Hit there was a man with takeaway coffee on his hand. It was still the morning btw so I thought oh some random man going to work. But, I had a good look on his face and I freaked out. Once I saw his face my face just went blank because I recognize his face from somewhere and I straight away knew he was the manager. As an avid fan, I’ve seen HQs & press photos of BTS with their manager so I’m used to seeing his face time to time. So once I saw his face, I almost froze and stopped my bro. My bro was confused and later I explained to him quietly who he was. I kinda took a pic lmao:

So the smartest thing I’ve done after that is to go the other way, completely going to the opposite direction of Big Hit. I didn’t want to make him think of us as some international stalkers or sasaengs. Later when I thought it felt safe, we went to the direction where he went which leads to Big Hit. Surprise surprise, he was gone. He probably went in already so... 

ANYWAYS, as typical tourists we took photos.

What makes it more interesting, some Big Hit staff told us to go away when we didn’t even go in the building or anything.... We just taking photos.... But at the same time... I highkey feel like someone was inside... Possibly BTS? Whatever it is, wow.... I got shooed away by Big Hit staff LMAO.

Moving on, we went back to the train station and arrived at Samseong Station to visit SMTOWN! I feel that almost every kpop fan goes there when they visit Seoul lmao. Wow, I was shocked at how I was actually there and not from photos. Saw cool standees from Baekhyun (exo bias HI), Krystal, and lots more! I too took one of the photo booth photos!!!! leeet

One thing most stans go for is basically.... THE MERCH. I mean other than going for the live concert thingies (which I didn’t bother to go), official merchandise is the best next thing... So obviously if anyone wants to get their fave SM artists’ merch, going to SMTOWN itself is fine, more specifically, their albums. Their albums are reasonably priced so you don’t have to buy it outside in my opinion. Their official merchandise from posters, photobooks, phone cases, even the food are one of a kind. I feel if going to SMTOWN, and you’re an avid fan of EXO, Red Velvet or any other SM artist, just buy them. 

After looking around, we found a halal Indian restaurant called Luna Asia. Ngl, the food was alright. For Muslims, y’all could go for this!

We then took Samseong station again and arrived at Apgujeongrodeo station to go to The Mins! Some might not know, but this cafe is famous for treating some kpop idols, including BTS! (don’t @ me let me live i am an avid fan) So we took exit () and walked all the way down. The Mins was inside so you have to get into the neighborhood to find it. (Better descriptions are in the link I added @ The Mins)

The place was really cute from the outside and inside. OH, I forgot to mention, 2AM’s Changmin owns this cafe! Pretty legit. I also think I might’ve met his parents there too, because I heard that his parents do work there. I only noticed that once I got out of the cafe.... rip.

ANYWAYS, I ordered the Four Berry drink..... aka what BTS usually orders (yes shut up). It was really good anyway.

In the plus side, cool stuff on their walls! BTS posters, and signed albums from many other celebs like SISTAR, Gfriend and lots more! (you can also get to sit where BTS have sat before hehehehhehehe)

Later, we went to K-Star Road to visit all the big figures??? dolls??? idk what to call them. But yeah, we went and obviously had to find BTS’ one.

We were tired af and basically done all we wanted to do (except visiting JYP or YG Entertainment :(((() so we went back to our hotel.

After a few hours of rest in the hotel, we still had energy so we thought of not wasting time by going N Seoul Tower by using the Namsan Cable Car. It was a nice view from the hill but I feel it would be better during daylight?? Since it was winter I think it’ll look prettier during daylight. SORZ FOR NO PHOTO I WAS HALF DEAD THAT NIGHT KSKFKSHFJKSF

Anyways, we found this halal restaurant at this close knit neighborhood in Seoul called Yang Good (Yangguk) and boy...... they had GR8 meat. 11/10 recommended.

OKKKK IM SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG OVERDUE POST but yes here’s day 2. I’ll try my best to do the other days asap (at least before my new sem starts sigh) BYE GIRLIES ANF GUYLIES!!!!