#ALSO THE FOUND FAMILY TROPE IS REAL GUYS

[mitsies]

. . mitzi's recs: gojo satoru ! . . ao3 & tumblr

⋆ on ao3

˒ intrinsic warmth / thatdesklamp . . this list is in no particular order, but this fic is at the top for a reason. ive been pushing the iw agenda since chapter 3. beautiful writing and a unique, interesting plot; canon-typical violence/angst, eventual smut, poignant emotions, such a wonderful read! . . 19/23 chapters, 175k wc, bonus pieces on @/thatdesklamp's tumblr!

˒ ripverse / seoafin . . a compilation of related fics. again, this author is so talented, and the writing never falls short. stsg, not just gojo. please be mindful of the tags; if i remember correctly, there is a fair amount of mature content. . . 8 works, 55k wc, also found on tumblr under @/seoafin!

˒ the witches' brew / orphan account . . a classic café au. such a fun read; not only is it sweet, it's funny! enjoyed every second of this. . . 2/2 chapters, 11k wc

˒ all that is solid melts into air / grilledtandoorismoke . . an arranged marriage trope! personally, i have no read this, but from my friends: this reader has a very unique personality, making it a particularly interesting read. . . 1/1 chapters, 7k wc, also has a few other pieces on their acct

˒ among dawn flowers (the face of god) / unolvrs . . beautifully written, basically pure angst. referenced mythology makes this especially interesting. reading this was truly painful in the best way conceivable. . . 8/8 chapters, 39k wc

˒ exposure therapy / seoafin . . another compilation of fics by the same author. this is much less angsty than ripverse (god bless), and considers a scenario in which fushiguro toji becomes a teacher. more stsg than just gojo but who gaf the more the merrier . . 3 works, 30k wc

˒ cake batter / uzuisus . . established relationship w/ dad!gojo & megumi. not much to say, just short n sweet, i am such a sucker for dad gojo so its no surprise there's one of these on the list . . 1/1 chapter, 2k wc

˒ afternoon tea(se) / flintstrike . . gojo torturing megumi. u can't go wrong! so so cute love the banter, a very short and sweet read! . . 1/1 chapter, 1k wc

˒ my apologies, gordon ramsay / innka . . reader is a teacher and a functional human being; gojo is not. loved! a very fun piece to read, n so so cute. . . 1/1 chapter, 8k wc

˒ a name known only to paper / yeeternity . . platonic, very much only angst- beautifully written, such a unique idea. leaves you wishing for more insight into this relationship. reader is gojo's older sibling . . 1 chapter, 3k wc

˒ heart beats / reinerispretty . . another collection! i looove gojo in this so so cute i also adore bff nanami in the last one . . 3 works, 11k wc

˒ the sanctity of a name / celestiales . . SO SENTIMENTAL !! what an adorable work that rly goes into the psychology and significance of his technique + upbringing. so real and raw and very him . . 1/1 chapter, 2k wc

˒ assumptions / tomodachi . . jealous gojo. he's so cute in this!! you guys are married and it's almost his birthday, but while you're planning his surprise party he suspects something else.. . . 1/1 chapter, 6k wc

˒ even with the lights off / frethunine . . another fic that has me floored and pushing the #saveijichi agenda at the same time . . 1/1 chapters, 8k wc

⋆ on tumblr

˒ muscle memory / hyomagiri . . ofc ellie fic first. this is so so precious! ellie's characterisation is, as always, perfection; hes such a loser in this it makes me want to cry

˒ made with love / missmeinyourbones . . dad!gojo fluff and god knows u can never have enough of that. lovely writing, so so heartwarming :,)

˒ family photo / naosaki . . a very long, but very worth it read. art never fails to impress and this is no different; beautiful symbolism and even better writing, such a sweet plot. also dad gojo!

˒ 10:15 am / naosaki . . as opposed to the previous fic, this one is very short, very stupid, and still so so sweet. maybe i'm a little biased though considering it was written for me!

˒ formation b / earthtooz . . a take on that one scene where nobara, yuuji, and gojo think megumi is being hit on. this one always makes me smile.

˒ no good, very bad date / sixosix . . six strikes again with the fluffiest fluff ever. nauseating fluff, even, in the best way possible! he's obsessed w u in this

˒ all mine / jleiji . . drunk gojo. ei's writing is always so so good (even if she's never watched jjk...) he's such a clingy loser in this you're gonna love it as much as i did!

˒ obsessed / ode2rin . . just as the title says, another hit from my future best friend! an absolute gem from mimi! the humour is unmatched, he's such a stupid idiot u will wind up giggling before u know it. also ur married

˒ undercover florist / selarina . . rina is so talented, and i have adored everything she's written, but this will always be my fav :,) flowershop aus are my fav, and UGH this makes me so happy! so in character bc YEAH he would have the audacity

˒ by expensive tiles and elite gym pools / shotorus . . who would i be if sel wasn't on this list! established relationship, satoru is a swimmer, this is absolutely precious :,)

˒ first kiss / saetoru . . exactly as the title says; your & satoru's first kiss. so adorable, makes u miss warm weather. he's such a loser boy in this (common theme in my favs)

˒ clean linen / pupkashi . . such an adorable piece! so fluffy, perfectly encapsulates the feeling of coming home after a long day :,)

˒ everything in twos / alaboadoa . . soph does it again! so sweet with an edge of melancholy (because it's soph and this is jjk), a longing kinda sweetness that makes u want more!!

˒ crazy / saerins . . another piece that's all beautiful and a little sad in a nostalgic, gentle way. so beautifully done, i could read aeri's dialogue forever!

˒ ringing in the new year / itadores . . contains some drinking and, unsurprisingly, a new year's kiss. adorable no matter the season; this author's work feels like a warm hug!

˒ the colour yellow / kashimos-hajime . . angst in a poignant, emotional way. so beautiful. another long read, the longest on this post thus far, but worth everything. usually, i avoid hanahaki, but this is stunning in every way!

˒ first kisses & falling in love / augustinewrites . . i love all of augustine's works, but i find myself coming back to this one the most :,) fluff w megumi & tsumiki & gojo, and confessions!

⋆this writing does not belong to me; they're the products of incredibly talented writers and their wonderful minds! please be respectful whilst interacting with them, and tell them how awesome they are! remember, they do this for free :D

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[cakemoney]

okay this is very far from the real point but is the jurassic world dominion trailer telling me that ellie sattler and alan grant are no longer together? they broke up? they’re no longer close and in each other’s lives? son of a fucking bitch

[eroguron0nsense]

Perhaps my brain isn't braining or I'm assigning undue significance to this but I kinda feel like One Piece seemed to shift more toward exploring what real familial love means or looks like after the timeskip? We get Ace's death, the postwar arc, and Luffy coming to the conclusion that despite having lost both of his brothers, he's still got the Straw Hats and he can move forward with his ragtag crew of siblings, Team Mom and Dad, and an eccentric skeleton Uncle, and then right after that, we get several arcs defined overwhelmingly by either the destruction or salvation of various families.

One of the main inciting incidents–if not the inciting incident–of all the political intrigue inherent to the Fishman Island arc is the assassination of Otohime and its ramifications for Shirahoshi and the entire Ryugu Kingdom (not to mention Luffy trying really fucking hard to imitate Ace and be a big brother to Shirahoshi and Surume as a means of processing his own loss).

Dressrossa's where we first see a true perversion of all the lovely found family tropes that have long been established in One Piece (villains have destroyed families but few if any are depicted as having one in the same way Luffy does; pre-time skip villains are more likely to be loners or self-interested tyrants and their followers aren't really referred to as "family"), giving us self fashioned patriarch in Doffy who completed the destruction of his bio family and spent the rest of his life building a grotesque, failed imitation of it through manipulating and indoctrinating a group of followers he doesn't truly care for, only to be brought down by a combination of his brother's final actions, the little boy Cora saved and loved, the bonds of the Riku family he brutalized, the brothers of the guy whose devil fruit he acquired and tried to entrap his enemies with, and an actual Found Family Crew who genuinely love each other and are willing to sacrifice for each other in a way Doffy cannot possibly understand.

The entirety of WCI involves almost every conceivable permutation of multiple families plotting against, exploiting, abusing, and defiantly loving each other, from Judge discarding any hope he ever had of having an actual family that could love him by literally stripping away their ability to do so in the name of facism/conquest, to Chiffon betraying her abusive mom for her loving husband and in-laws, to Linlin being failed by every parental figure in her life and constructing the most bizarre, fundamentally horrifying political/military structure out of her army of bio children.

Wano's main villain is also an abusive father and tyrannical crew leader, and that does, in fact, contribute to his eventual downfall, but more to the point, the arc opens and closes with the initial destruction and eventual restoration of the Kozuki family in Momo, Hiyori, and Sukiyaki, Luffy's kinship with Momo and Tama, circling back to reminders of Ace yet again (for the third arc so far) and Hiyori literally closing out the arc mirroring her father's catchphrase/dying words (and to a lesser extent, plot fuelled by the destruction of the Kurozumi clan). By the time we end what I personally consider to be Part 2 of One Piece, Luffy's family has picked up another uncle, he's been confronted repeatedly with the spectre of his brother and come out stronger for it (also filling the big brother role for multiple characters), he's reunited with Sabo, and has confronted and defeated multiple villains who act as the antithesis to everything One Piece has told us so far about the joy and love and unity that the Straw Hats and their friends and true families exemplify. And by the time he tells everyone his real dream and shares what he'd previously only told Ace, Sabo, and Shanks, it feels like we've finally gotten some closure for Marineford

[astraysimp]

𓆩⟡𓆪Hello hello! It’s 9mitm Friday! It’s our dumpling boy’s turn and man…..this one challenged me. My brain was working hard trying to figure out and plan this fic. LMAO, I enjoyed the challenge and hope you guys enjoy this chapter! XOXO

𓆩⟡𓆪Summary: For as long as you could remember–once your cousins and siblings had found partners, got married and had kids- your family always asked when it was going to be your turn. You hated it, seeing as it got brought up at every family function, but when you and Hyunjin announced your ‘relationship’ last year they shut up….but they still asked about kids…..until you and Hyune showed up with your baby in tow

𓆩⟡𓆪Warnings: fake dating(to real dating) trope, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, reader’s family is kinda annoying, you and Hyun have kept your baby a secret(no ill intentions), fem!reader, petnames, if my math of baby’s age doesn’t line actually make sense please pretend it does :D

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Ah, Christmas dinner with your family. You loved it….but you also dreaded it. Aunts, uncles, cousins, your siblings, your parents, grandparents all asked when you were going to find a boyfriend, when you were going to get married, when you were going to have kids. It annoyed you to no end. That was until last year when Hyunjin had suggested that you two ‘date’ to shut them up. So, you did, appearing at your family’s Christmas dinner hand in hand.

“Wah, our y/n finally got herself a boyfriend!”

“Finally! She’s not single anymore!”

“A boyfriend?! Oh my god, you brought your boyfriend?!”

“When did you meet?!”

“How long have you been together?!”

“He’s so handsome! Where did you meet him?!”

That was all you heard, until you heard the “so, when are you having kids?” You and Hyunjin hadn’t known what to say, heck your ‘relationship’ was only a show, to shut them up. So, you didn’t answer, telling them, “oh, it’ll be a while.”

It ,in fact, was not a little while. You and Hyunjin had baby Iseul only 9 months later. But, opted not to tell your family, due to wanting to soak up and bask in your new lives as parents.

That brought you to now.

Currently, it was Christmas day and you were getting Iseul ready to go to your family’s Christmas dinner. You were already dressed, wearing a red dress, the skirt sparsely covered in gold sequins, a pair of nylon tights on your legs, a pair of delicate black heels on your feet. You curled your hair, tying half of it up with a bow, your makeup already done– brown and gold eyeshadow accentuated your eyes, blank eyeliner elongating them and ruby red lipstick gracing your plump lips.

Tonight, you and Hyunjin were going to introduce Iseul to your family.

A lot in both yours and Hyunjin’s lives had changed. Your( what started as a fake) relationship had blossomed into a real relationship, you had Iseul 5 months ago, you lived together, he gave you a promise ring, you met his family. Oh, did I mention, you had a baby 5 months ago? Because you did, and her name is Iseul. She is a dream, not fussy, has Hyunjin’s pouty lips, and doesn't cry a lot. You and Hyunjin love her, actually love is too weak a word.

Smiling, you looked down to see Iseul trying to put her foot in her mouth. Laughing, you gently held her legs in your hands, sliding a pair of tights onto her chubby legs. “Hi, my dewdrop. Are you so excited? You get to meet your grandma and grandpa, and your aunts and uncles?” You giggled, as Iseul held her arms and legs up. She giggled as you tickled her belly, high pitched squeals and giggles erupting through the room. Her laugh was one of your favorite things about her, the way she so effortlessly lit up your life with her giggle. Grabbing the dress from beside you, you carefully slid it over her head and put her arms through the sleeves.

My first Christmas

The dress read, across its velvet red fabric, white letters spelling out the words.There was soft fur, along the hem, neckline and sleeves. She looked too cute. Sliding a pair of matching socks over her feet, you smiled and tied her soft baby hair in a ponytail and added a bow. “Oh look at my baby girl! My baby girl is so cute! Should we show appa how cute you are?” You smiled, and gently picked her up, holding her on your hip, as you pointed in the mirror. “There she is! There’s my dewdrop!” You smiled, bouncing her on your hip as she giggled. “Let’s show appa, yeah?!”

Speaking of her appa– Hyunjin– where is he?

You,nor Hyunjin, could exactly remember when your ‘fake’ relationship turned into you actually dating. Was it when the two of you were relaxing on the couch of your shared apartment, his arms around your shoulders and your head on his chest? “We have to make our relationship look real, honey love.” He would tell you.

Maybe

Was it when he made you heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes, for Valentine’s Day? “Happy Valentine’s Day, mumma,” he whispered in your ear. His soft yet calloused hands cradling your cheek, trying to wake you peacefully, where you laid in bed. “Morning, honey oat,” you sleepily grumbled. Your eyes slowly fluttering open to see a tray of breakfast— those exact heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes, strawberries cut into hearts, a glass of orange juice and a croissant— percheched on your bed, with Hyune sitting against the headrest. “Made you breakfast, for you and the baby.” He blushed, smiling down at your half awake form.

Perhaps

Was it when you were at your 20 week ultrasound, finding out that you would be having a baby girl and the nurse beamed at you, congratulating you with a “congratulations Mr and Mrs Hwang”

Mr and Mrs.Hwang

You couldn’t remember. Your lives bled into one another seamlessly, the line between real dating and your fake show relationship seeming to disappear. It was easy. Easy as breathing. Sure, ever since you had become friends with the tall boy, you had pictured and thought of dating him. Wondered how his pillow soft and ever so plush lips would feel against your own; how it would feel to be held against his chest as he sang you to sleep at night. The thoughts always lingered in your brain, somewhere in the back. But, you never would have imagined for him to suggest putting on a show relationship to quiet your family’s ever persistent questioning.

Sure, you had also seen Hyunjin interact with babies, over your times as friends. And did it make you wonder about what it would be like to have a child with him? Yes, you weren’t going to deny it. Again, you never would have guessed it to become a reality. But, it was your reality. You and Hyunjin… sharing an apartment, welcome home kisses, having a baby shower, him healing you through. Your pregnancy.

He was there through it all, every step, milestone, doctor’s appointment. He was there. He had even picked out her name, Iseul. “I like Iseul, love. It means dewdrop. Our own little dewdrop,” He muttered, his large hand rubbing against your bump, as you two were laying in bed, one night.

Her nursery theme was his idea, as well. Themes of soft powder blue and a crème color flourishing against the walls. Hyunjin picked out each piece of furniture, as long as you approved of it, assembled them and built the nursery, filling it with his love. One of his, and your, favorite things was the mural that Hyunjin has painted. It was a picture of the sky, clouds gracing the ceiling with rain falling down, but in the spaces between the raindrops, was her name…

Iseul

Grabbing Iseul’s shoes and snow suit(one of those full body padded baby onesies) you headed towards your and Hyunjin’s shared bedroom? “Where’s appa, Iseul? Hm, where did appa go?” You pondered, seeing as he wasn’t in your bedroom, and the master bathroom light was off.

Where could he have gone? You thought to yourself, as you made your way downstairs, your heels clicking against the hardwood floor. “Hyune? Hyunnie? Babe, where’d you go,are you ready?” You called out, entering the living room.

Then, you saw him– and damn, did he look good. His ebony hair was slicked back, a tailored Versace pair of slacks along his legs, a festive yet classy Versace crewneck on his torso, paired with a gold watch and shiny, black sleek dress shoes on his feet.

Damn, I’m lucky

He was preparing Iseul’s stroller, making sure a blanket was safely tucked in it, to make sure she was warm and had the baby bag sitting on the floor nearby. “Look, dew drop, there’s appa!” You smiled, as she giggled and kicked her feet in your hold.

“Oh! There my girls are! Hi my loves, don’t you two look so pretty?” Hyunjin smiled, turning around at your voice and seeing you standing there. Making his way over to you, he planted a kiss on your lips and Isuel’s forehead, before taking her into his arms. “My baby’s first Christmas! Are you excited, pumpkin!?” He smiled, as Iseul squished her small chubby hands on his cheeks, happy squeals and giggles leaving her mouth. “I think she is, huh dewdrop?” You smiled, adjusting her dress, before you adjusted the red bow in her hair.

Turning to you, Hyunjin smiled and kissed the crown of your head. “ I need to load the gifts and stroller into the car. Think you’ll be okay getting her ready while I do that, hon?” He asked, as you smiled with a nod. “I got it, babe. Go get everything settled,” you patted his butt lightly, taking Iseul back into your arms. With a nod of his head, Hyunjin put his long trench coat on, and grabbed the stroller and baby bag, slinging it over his stroller, “I’ll warm up the car, while I’m out there, honey!” He called, making his way into the cold night air, popping the trunk open and setting the stroller and baby bag inside.

Meanwhile, in the house, you had slid your own matching trench coat on and fastened its buttons, before setting Iseul on the couch, humming as you laid the opened baby snow suit on the cushions. “Let’s get my dew drop bundled up,” you cooed, gently booping her nose. Carefully, you laid her against the back portion of the jacket, settling her legs and arms in their respective sleeves. “One foot, and another foot and you’re all in!” You giggled, zipping up the zipper. Hyunjin had since reentered, to grab your load of presents, before leaning down to plant a kiss to yours and Iseul’s heads. “Look at my little dewdrop! You look so warm, did mommy dress you up?” He smiled as she kicked her feet, before he went to load the presents into the car.

Taking one of her shoes into your hands, you gently slid it on her foot, clasping the buckle shut. “One foot,” You smiled as she waved her arms around, looking up at you. “And one more foot,” you giggled, repeating the process with her other shoe. Picking her up, you grabbed your keys, phone and bag and made your way to the door. Turning the lights off, Hyunjin took Iseul to buckle her into her carseat. “Ready to go, my loves?”

The drive was about an hour and a half , to your parents’ house. Iseul had managed to fall asleep, and you couldn’t blame her, traffic causing a 30 minute delay. Cars bumping back to back, you had barely moved an inch. You weren’t shocked when you turned from your spot in the passenger seat, to see a sleeping Iseul on her car seat.

Driving during the holidays sucked.

But, you managed to make it, and once you pulled into the familiar driveway of your parents’ home, you smiled. Unbuckling your seat belt, you went to the trunk, grabbing the gift bags. You, carefully, made your way into the house, to be greeted by smiles and warm hugs. But, outside, Hyunjin was grabbing the stroller, setting a still sleeping baby Iseul in it, and the rest of the gifts.

“Hi,everyone! We’re here!”

Your parents rushed over to you, pulling you into their warm embrace. “Hi, love, so nice to see you! Where is that lovely boyfriend of yours?” Your mom asked, noticing Hyunjin wasn’t by your side. “He’s out bringing the rest of the gifts(and our baby) in,” You laughed, turning to hug your dad. “Hi sweetheart, how are you?” Your dad asked, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m good, how are you, dad?” You smiled, walking to the living room, after shrugging your jacket and shoes off, exchanging them for house slippers.

“Hi, yn!”

“Hey, where’s Hyunjin?!”

“Ynnie! So good to see you!”

Everyone called out their greetings and you smiled, giving them all a hug after you placed the presents under the, already full, tree. “He’s on his way in, we have a lot of presents to bring!” You laughed out.

You heard him before you saw him. Smiling, you could hear the wheels locking on the stroller as he was taking his jacket and shoes off. Any minute now and everyone would be in for a big surprise.

“Hello, hello! I’m here!”

And there he was. But, not only him, he came pushing the stroller in, Iseul still asleep, the soft blanket laid over her body. “And, we have a guest!”

“Is that a-”

“A stroller….a baby?!”

“When did you two have a baby?!”

“A grandbaby, oh my gosh!”

Needless to say, everyone was surprised, shocked, taken aback, confused. You laughed, as Hyunjin took Iseul out of her stroller and sat next to you. “Yep, a baby. Baby Iseul,” you smiled, seeing her stir awake. Gently, you tucked the soft fleece blanket around her body, ensuring her pacifier was shut in her mouth. But, they could also see a ring on your finger.

“What-“

“When?!”

“How old is she?!”

“What’s her name?!”

“Is that a ring?!”

Laughing, you looked over at Hyunjin, seeing him rocking Iseul in his arms. “Wow, lots of questions. But! I have answers!” You giggled, settling yourself against Hyunjin’s side, as he placed a kiss on your temple. “So, to start, her name is Iseul and she’s 5 months old. Uh, we found out we were having her after last Christmas,” You breathed out, as Hyunjin nodded. Clearing his throat, he looked toward you. “We weren’t expecting or planning on having her. She was like our own Christmas present, he laughed, “but, we really love being parents.”

“Why haven’t we met or seen her yet?” Your mom asked, curious as to what took you and Hyunjin so long to bring your baby around. Nodding your head, you smiled as Iseul was slowly stirring from her sleep. “Honestly, we just wanted to bask in having her to herself, for a while, before we brought her around everyone. Becoming parents was a change, a big one, so we wanted to soak it i, have our own memories built and just get to love on her.” You breathed out, hearing a soft whimper coming from Iseul. Hyunjin smiled and nodded, “there is absolutely no ill intentions. We just wanted to be able to soak in the new parenthood love and enjoy her to ourselves.” You both smiled, before Isuel’s whimpers turned into cries, she was hungry. “Excuse me, I think we have a hungry baby on our hands,”Hyunjin smiled, rising from his seat on the couch to grab a premade bottle from the baby bag and go to the kitchen to warm it.

It was true and you and Hyunjin loved the 5 months you had Iseul to yourselves. From the moment she was born, she had her appa wrapped around her finger. Iseul was born early in the morning,2:23 to be exact. You remember Hyunjin crying, as she was placed on your chest, her head covered in soft black hair. She has his lips, and nose but your eyes. She was—and still is— his greatest accomplishment.

Month 1 brought a lot of changes. A new sleep —if you can even call it that— schedule for you and Hyunjin, lots of waking up at the break of dawn for nightly feeds, lots of diapers and dirty clothes. But, also lots of smiles, smiles shared with each other and smiles shared with Iseul. Lots of baby giggles, gummy smiles and big brown eyes.

With each month, your hearts only grew, watching as her personality developed. She was a daddy’s girl, through and through. Loving to be held and sang to by Hyunjin. He loved to hold her small body to his bare chest. Looking up at him, her big brown eyes blinking, easily growing tired throughout the day. “It must be tiring being so cute,” he cooed to her, kissing her small forehead. Hyunjin had fallen asleep in the rocking chair by the crib many times. “Want to make sure she’s okay, honey love,” he’d tell you, a tired yawn falling from his lips. She was, and always will be safe, but he needed to be sure. But, luckily Iseul always slept through the night, easily.

By month 5, Iseul learned to hold a crayon. Thanks to Hyunjin. You would come home to see them in the kitchen seated at the dining table, coloring. But, your favorite sights were seeing them cuddling. It warmed your heart. You also loved watching Hyunjin feed her. It was such a mundane task, but it was the cutest thing to see. Iseul would be seated in her high chair, Hyunjin sat in front of her, and he’d swirl the spoon in front of her. “Here comes the plane,” he would say with a sing-songy lilt in his voice. Her small pouty lips would enclose the spoon and her face would scrunch up, mimicking the way Hyunjin’s own face would pout when he ate. “She definitely is your daughter, honey bear.” You would giggle out, as he used the spoon to wipe the baby food from around her mouth.

Returning from the kitchen, Hyunjin sat on the couch, a warm bottle of breastmilk nustled between Iseul’s mouth, as she fed. “I’m back, and she is less fussy,” he chuckled, knowing a full tummy would calm her down. It was true. Iseul only became fussy when hungry or tired.But, the drive from your apartment to your parents’s house had her well rested. Your cousin had peeped up. “So, there’s a ring on yn’s finger. When did that happen?” She smiled, pointing to the delicate stoned balanced between prongs and snugly set on a delicate band. “Oh that?” Hyunjin laughed, carefully handing you a now empty bottle, before softly patting Iseul’s back. “It’s a promise ring, a promise to never give up on yn or Iseul, and to always be here, no matter how hard it gets…..It’s also a promise to make her my wife,one day. Almost like a placeholder ring until then.” He smiled, as you carefully took Iseul into your arms.

Cradling her to your chest, you and Hyunjin exchanged soft eyes and loving smiles. “Well, we’re really happy for the both of you.” Your dad chimed in, patting Hyunjin on the shoulder. “Thank you. We’re really happy,too.” Hyunjin smiled, his eyes watching as you rocked your baby in your arms, looking down to her with matching eyes. The world around you,Hyunjin and Iseul, seemed to disappear. It was only the three of you. Looking back up , you saw Hyunjin watching you. Smiling, you gently blew him a kiss. Which he gladly caught and pressed to his heart, before sending two— one for you and one for the baby— your way.

“Time to eat! Dinner is ready!”

Maybe, family Christmas dinners weren’t so bad after all. But maybe that's because you had Hyunjin and Iseul. Or, maybe because you wouldn’t be questioned anymore. Standing up, you hold Iseul in your arms, walking to the dining room, Hyunjin following you.

Dinner time

ೃ⁀➷Please do not steal,translate,repost(on any platform), modify, paraphrase or in any way claim my worksೃ⁀➷AStraySimp 2023ೃ⁀➷

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[limarieb]

love is a double-edged sword

Pairing(s): Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader (Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision)

Summary: Falling in love with your presumed-to-be-straight best friend could have been possibly the worst, most cliché thing you have ever done. But, it could also have been the best.

Warnings: internalized homophobia, coming out, occasional swearing used, brief mention of non-consensual kiss

Word Count: 4.5k

Author's Note: ahh my tumblr debut! this was the first mcu fic i ever wrote — i hope you guys enjoy.

Main Masterlist | ao3 | Wattpad

...

Since the age of six, if anyone asked you who your best friend was, you would proudly respond, “Wanda Maximoff”; she would do the same with your name.

But, you’re not exactly sure when your feelings for her become less friendly.

Maybe it was one of those times she had gone off on a tangent and explained the latest book she read, saying how much you’d “love it if you just listened to her and read the damn book.” You found her passion for stories endearing, perhaps even admirable. Maybe it was Field Day during the seventh grade; the outside air was plagued by blistering heat, but — with her long, brunette hair tied up in a high ponytail — she made sweating look good . Maybe it was the fact that, when you came out to your family last year, she had comforted you afterward; she held your face in her hands, wiped your tears with her two thumbs, and told you any girl would be lucky to have you.

You were sure at this moment that you did not want “any girl,” however, because the only girl you wanted was the one sitting in front of you.

You mistakenly let out a scoff. Of course, you would fall victim to the “lesbian falls for the straight best friend” trope. Wanda, on the other hand, thought the scoff was a response to her; thus, she pulled you into a tight hug, trying to convey how deeply she cares for you.

“I’m serious, Y/N,” she whispered into your ear. “One day, some girl is going to love you for you .”

You didn’t reply.

It was the second to last day of your junior year in high school. Thankfully, you had finished your exams, but the school required everyone to attend until the last day anyway.

It’s not like you could’ve done much for summer anyways; it has been raining all week, and it’s not like you got your license, nor do you even own a car. Additionally, you reasoned there could be far worse places to be in this moment, like home.

As you closed your locker, a mischievous brunette was lingering on the other side.

“Hello, Wanda. What can I do you for on this very fine day?” you said, sarcastically putting emphasis on the “very fine” part of the question.

She chuckled as she shook her head, “Nothing, at least not with that attitude.”

“Fine,” you gave in quickly, in pursuit of the real reason behind this conversation. “Seriously, though, what has Wanda Maximoff in such a chipper mood during school hours?”

Somehow, your question made her smile grow wider. “You’ll never guess what happened this morning,” she began. “Vision asked me out.”

Now, that caught your attention, “What?”

“Yeah, you know Tony, right? He’s that annoying rich kid in our class. Anyways, he’s throwing some sort of party for the end of the year and, since he and Vision are essentially best friends, Vision asked me to go to the party with him.”

You were only able to get one word out: “Wow.”

Noticing your lack of enthusiasm, Wanda turned her body completely towards you, “What? What’s wrong? Aren’t you excited for me?”

Truthfully, you were not excited for her. It’s not as if you did not know of Wanda’s infatuation with Vision; in fact, you could probably never forget the number of times she would talk to you about his “beautiful, blonde hair” and “pretty eyes.” Vision was not necessarily a bad kid, but you just hate that she just couldn’t like you like that.

It’s not like you could share this desire with your best friend either; ergo, you opted to put on a brave face and say, “Of course, I’m excited for you.” And, in case she didn’t believe you, you playfully elbowed her side, “If it goes well, I better be the maid of honor.”

You know that had convinced her, for she bit her lip and nodded excitedly.

“Oh,” Wanda started. “One more thing…”

As you looked at the mansion that stood before you, filled to the brim with a plethora of drunk teenagers, you uttered to yourself, “I don’t know why I let her talk me into coming to this. One day, I am going to have to stop agreeing with her on everything.”

You know you wouldn’t — if she wanted something, you’d make sure she’d get it. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from finding situations such as this annoying.

You walked through the front door. Immediately, your senses were overwhelmed by the strong smell of alcohol and the loud music blasting in the atmosphere. You attempted to push through to get through the crowd of people and find the person responsible for your presence. Before you could get much further, you felt another person grab and pull your wrist from behind, forcing you to turn around.

Wanda.

“Y/N, you came!” she tried to yell over the music. You could tell she wasn’t drunk, but she had definitely consumed something alcoholic. You failed to get a word in before she continued to pull you by the hand to venture further into the crowd of people, “Come on, let’s go dance!”

Moments later, you found yourself awkwardly “dancing” with your best friend. Although, she seemed to be having the time of her life. When she noticed your stiffness, she brought you closer to her, allowing you to hear her say, “Don’t worry about everyone else… Just dance with me!” 

So, you did. You let go of any apprehensions, allowing yourself to move freely with the music and the girl in front of you.

Meanwhile, Vision stood across the room with a drink in hand. Not really thrilled by what he was seeing occurring between you and Wanda, he decided to end it. Drunkenly strolling over to you two, he pulled her from your grasp and into (in your unbiased opinion) one of the grossest, sloppiest kisses you had ever witnessed. 

You weren’t exactly sure how to respond, partly due to the fact that there wasn’t exactly a reason to be envious of him anyways. So, you stood there awkwardly once more, pushing the jealousy down within you.

Wanda, on the other hand, was not thrilled by the action either. She knew he was drunk, tasting the alcohol the minute he forcefully placed his lips on hers. Quickly, she pulled away, “What the fuck, Vision? What was that?”

With a smirk aimed at you, he replied, “What do you mean?” She scowled, “You can’t just do that! Why would you ever think that was okay?”

“I should ask you the same thing.”

Now, she was the one in a state of confusion, yet hers was not fake, “What do you mean?”

“Y/N,” his retort made you look down at your old, worn-out sneakers. You weren’t entirely sure what direction this was all going, but you already knew that you did not like it.

“What about her, Vision?” “She’s obviously into you. I saw how you two were dancing together. My friends saw it, too. How is that supposed to make me feel, Wanda?”

Despite not being able to look up due to the embarrassment, you could feel the anger rolling off of Wanda’s body, “That is so not true, Vision, and you know it! Why are you acting so insecure about it, anyway? She’s my best friend, and I’m not even gay !”

You know she didn’t mean it like that , but something about the way she yelled the last part at the teenage boy came with a sort of venom — as if “gay” was synonymous with “bad.”

“You know what, Wanda? I’m done with this argument. You choose now : me or Y/N.”

That took Wanda aback, “What?”

“You heard me.”

“No, Vision,” she began. “That’s not fair, I refuse to choose between you and my best friend.”

“Either you choose me, and we can continue dating, or you choose her .”

A moment passed. In an attempt to not outwardly demonstrate the pain, you clamped your eyes shut. Honestly, you were about to walk away, accept defeat, and simply pretend this night never happened in the first place; you would have let her know later that it was alright, that if she wanted him, she could have him without someone like her standing in her way. Before she could move her feet to leave, however, she heard Wanda finally speak: “Fine, then. I choose her.”

Upon her decision being made, you finally looked up with wide eyes. Vision had the same wide eyes as you, but his face was paling from the initial rageful red that painted it moments earlier. Now, you shared two things with him: your love for Wanda and the visible shock that she chose you over him. It took every fiber of your being to not smile, as you knew now was not the time to celebrate such a victory.

Before another poisonous comment could be passed between the two, Tony stepped through the crowd that had surrounded you three. “Okay, man. That’s enough. Let’s go,” he ushered Vision away from the scene.

The crowd dissipated, leaving your best friend standing there alone. You took their exit as an opportunity to make sure Wanda was alright. You tried to reach out to her, to touch her shoulder. Maybe it was to pull her into one of your two’s infamously tight hugs; maybe it was to just let her know you were just there . You don’t know why you reached for her, but you didn’t really think before acting since it just felt like the most natural thing to do for you. Immediately, your hand was shrugged off by the brunette. Your body began to feel hot, and tears started to form in your eyes. You refused to cry, though, instead choosing to look down at your feet once more and begin your journey back home.

Within minutes you were back in the comfort of your own bed. With a harsh swallow, you continuously replayed the events of tonight over and over again. You laid there, reminiscing on just how utterly humiliated and alone you felt.

Even then in your state of depression and self-pity, you only hoped Wanda was doing okay.

Wanda left the party soon after you did. Similarly, she went home and found herself collapsed in her bed.

She didn’t bother changing out of her clothes, nor did she take off her makeup. Internally, she wishes that the bed would swallow her in order to leave the ramifications of tonight as a “potential” occurrence rather than an “actual.” She just doesn’t understand why: why he would do something like that; why the universe hates her; why she turned you away when she knew you did nothing wrong.

A brief, soft knock at her bedroom door removed her from her cyclical round of thoughts. “Come in,” she whispered, not trusting her voice to carry across the room like it usually does. 

The door creaked open slowly, revealing her twin brother standing on the other side. “Hey, сестра,” he began, approaching her bed with caution and sitting beside where her legs laid. “How are you doing?” [sestra | sister]

She doesn’t acquire the information about how exactly he learned about the events of tonight, perhaps from some friends of his that went to the party. Instead, she chuckled humorlessly, “How do you think I feel, Pietro? I think I just lost my best friend and the guy I liked in one night.”

“‘The guy you liked’? You mean, Vision?” he wondered. “Honestly, I didn’t like him anyway. You didn’t lose much on that front. But, what happened with Y/N? You guys never fight.”

“I don’t even know, Pietro. One minute, we’re just dancing and having fun because you know Y/N — she never comes to parties. I wanted to make the most of the night. As we were dancing, though, Vision walked up to us, stole me from her, and just kissed me. Not only was it without my consent and out of spite, but it was just gross.”

The latter statement made the twin brother laugh. She continued, “I pulled away quickly because I was just so angry , you know? Like why did he think he could just do that? So, I asked him, which caused us to have an argument in the middle of the party. In the end, he gave me an ultimatum: him or Y/N. Of course, I chose her because… I don’t know, Y/N is Y/N.”

He sat there next to her, listening intently. He sighed, “Yeah, but what happened between you and Y/N ?”

She closed her eyes, “I don’t know .” The statement wasn’t a lie because she truly did not understand why she reacted the way she did towards you, her best friend. The tears started flowing again, soon turning into a set of sobs that ultimately racked her body. Her brother swiftly leaned down, taking his sister into his arms; she continued to cry into his chest for what felt like hours.

After some time had passed, the sobs slowed down and transformed into sniffles. Pietro looked down at his sister, “What’s wrong?”

She refused to look up, but she knew she had to get this off her chest. “Pietro,” she released in a single breath. He affirmed to her to continue, “I think… I think I’m gay.” There was another beat of silence before she slowly proceeded once more, “I think I like Y/N.”

There it was: the beast of the truth that was unknowingly weighing her down was finally released. 

If it was even possible, Pietro pulled her closer in his embrace. Though he was aware that discussions of sexuality were becoming increasingly accepted and treated as an insignificant portion of someone’s life, he also knew that this was a big deal for her . He acknowledged such a fact, “I’m proud of you, Wanda, and I’m glad you told me, especially because I know it must have been difficult for you to realize and go through this on your own — even without Y/N… is this what caused the rift between you two? Did you tell her, and she rejected you?”

She scoffed, “Quite the opposite, actually; Vision accused her of liking me — which she probably doesn’t — but I just stood there, screaming at him that we were ‘just friends’ and that I ‘wasn’t even gay.’ You should’ve seen her when I shrugged her away after, Pietro. She looked so hurt . I hurt her.”

“You want to know how to fix this?” he asked, quickly followed by a confident nod from her. “You have to talk to her. Even if she didn’t like you, this is not something to lose such a close friendship over. For the record, though, she does like you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and that is definitely someone in love.”

Her head snapped up at the accusation, meeting the smirk that was plastered on his face. If he was right, she really messed up. She urgently needed to see you, to tell you once and for all how she truly feels about you; thus, she told her brother that she was going to find you and left him and his smirk behind.

Wanda didn’t have a clue about what she was going to say when she saw you; she didn’t have a script, nor did she have any guidelines to follow. She just knew she had to see you , only then would everything make sense for her.

You were on the verge of sleep when you could feel the vibrations coming from your phone. In a sleepy haze, you picked up the phone. The brightness made you unexpectedly squint your eyes, but the Caller ID was unmistakable: Wanda Maximoff. 

You weren’t sure what exactly to do in this situation. On one hand, you knew you could not face another rejection, specifically from her. It would probably break you beyond repair. On the other hand, you could never say no to Wanda, even if it meant answering her calls at the most random times of the day. 

So, you shakily tapped the green button and pulled the phone close to your ear.

“Hello? Y/N?” you could hear Wanda ask on the other side of the line.

“Hi,” you responded back. Wanda noted how soft your voice sounded. Normally, she would consider such softness an adorable trait of yours, but she knows the reason behind it. She knows it was her fault that you felt insecure at that moment.

“I’m– Um, I’m outside; can you come downstairs to open the door?” Wanda asked. Now, you were almost completely awake; the question made you raise your eyebrows in astonishment. 

Despite your initial surprise, you muttered a quiet approval that you would meet her at the door and made your way downstairs. 

To say you were nervous was an understatement. You don’t know what she’s going to say to you. You unlock the door and reach for the handle of the door, slowly turning it and pulling the wooden door towards you until you’re able to see Wanda on your front doorstep. Even with the low amount of yellow light coming from the bulb outside the door and the makeup visibly smeared on her face (probably from crying, you note), all you can think about is just how pretty she looks.

Her eyes look up to meet yours, causing your breath to hitch for a second. You weren’t certain about how to go about this, “Uh, do you want to come in? We’d have to go up to my room quietly because my parents are home.”

She accepted the invite, nodding her head hesitantly. The two of you walked upstairs, through the hall, back to where you had initially been laying in your bed and wallowing in your pity. You got back in your bed and crossed your legs as you sat against the headboard. Wanda, however, did not sit alongside you like she usually does; instead, she paced around your room. It was obvious that she was stuck in a state of stress and anxiety that you had never seen, even when she failed that one test back in sophomore year.

Your eyes trailed back and forth as you observed her pacing; suddenly, she came to a stop in front of the bed. Her body was not facing you, rather it faced the way that she had been walking moments prior. She started to play with the rings littered on her various fingers, which you had learned early on that it was a nervous habit of hers. You chose to remain quiet and to let her speak when she was ready due to the evidently difficult subject matter, but you couldn’t help your own anxiety rising. 

Without looking at you, she finally broke the silence: “I need to tell you something, Y/N. I need to tell you a few things, actually. I’m not sure how you’ll react, but I also know that you didn’t deserve what happened to you tonight, to be put in that situation. You deserve more than that; honestly, you deserve everything good, and I’m so sorry that I put you through that. I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me or be friends with me anymore, but I would not forgive myself if I didn’t at least try to salvage us.”

You sat silently in shock but continued to let her speak: “I thought I knew myself. In fact, I was so sure I did. Yeah, I may not have known the answer to some stupid math equation in school, but I knew the kind of clothes I preferred to wear, my favorite food to eat when I’m sad or stressed out, my go-to karaoke song. I thought I knew myself , inside and out. But, I don’t, or at least not as well as I thought I did. And, honestly? That’s freaking me the fuck out because, if I don’t know myself , how can I know anything else? I know that probably makes no fucking sense, but… yeah. I’m just really scared right now, but I talked to Pietro, which helped a bit. Um, he was right. Vision was right.”

Your face fell. You thought this was it, she was finally going to reject you and leave you. 

In the deafening silence swirling around the two of you in your bedroom, she eventually decided to look at you. She saw the way your body sagged, how utterly defeated you looked; the brunette realized that you took her statement in the wrong way, “No! No! No! I didn’t mean it like that! Fuck ! I’m fucking this up. Okay, no, Vision is not right about anything other than the fact that I don’t like him. I don’t like boys… Truthfully, I’m not sure. I just feel so confused and stupid for not realizing such a big thing sooner. That’s what I meant when I said I thought I knew myself: I thought I knew that I liked boys, which I feel like is something that many people know from the beginning.”

“So, you’re… gay?” you quietly asked. You might be almost as confused as Wanda claimed to be.

You watched as the brunette nodded slowly, “I think so? As I said, I don’t know.”

“Okay,” you bit your lip, concentrating on forming something insightful to say next. “Thank you, Wanda, for telling me. I know how difficult and confusing it all is — believe me. Some people figure it out relatively early; others don’t realize it until they’re married with kids. There’s no timeline to any of it, okay? I know we’re kind of in this weird state right now because of tonight, but no matter what, I’d always support you.”

In a brief moment of confidence, Wanda turned her head to face you. You could see the water in her eyes that threatened to fall, her lip beginning to quiver. You rapidly stood up and walked over to her. With the two of you finally facing each other within a two-foot radius, she threw herself at you, wrapping her arms tightly around your neck. Your arms found their way to her waist, snaking around her and finding placement on her back. Both of you kept holding on tighter and tighter, afraid the other would try to leave. You could feel her chest rising and falling relatively fast as she cried into your neck and shoulder, repeating the phrase “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.”

You removed one hand from her back; instead, you placed it on her head. With a trembling hand, you tread your fingers through her long hair. In an attempt to calm her down, you whisper things of assurance like “It’s okay,” “You’re okay,” or “It’s going to be alright.” You’re not confident they worked, but you could feel her breathing begin to slow down again. You moved the hand from her hair to her shoulder and pulled back in order to ensure she was okay enough to continue; shifting from the shoulder to her hand, you grasped it and squeezed. 

You moved to sit on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to you. Wanda was noticeably apprehensive, but she sat anyway.

“Are you okay?” you inquired, your eyebrow slightly raised in concern.

“Yeah, I am. At least, I will be eventually,” she trailed off. “There’s one more thing, though… probably the hardest for me to tell you out of all of them.”

Your eyebrows raised slightly as your interest peaked, but you knew to stay quiet again. She proceeded, “I told you that I don’t like men, implying that I do like women, which is true to an extent, I guess. Um, but it’s not ‘women' as in plural. All I know is that I like one, but I’m not sure how she feels about me. I want to tell her so badly so that we could try to be more or something, but I don’t know if she feels the same. I just don’t want to ruin us.”

You nodded your head for her to continue, “Can– Can I ask which lucky girl caught your eye?”

She moved her gaze upwards, resulting in your eyes locking once more. You could tell she was battling with herself internally about whether or not to answer with the truth, for she was harshly biting her lip. Yet, what you didn’t expect was her quiet, albeit one-word, response: “You.”

At this moment, with your eyes locked and her confession having been spoken, you swear your heart skipped a beat. Wanda Maximoff, your best friend and untold love of your life, just admitted she liked you as more than a friend.

Her eyes grew concerned and her face paled since you weren’t responding. “Please, say something… Y/N?” she pleaded.

If there was a time to deal all of your cards on the table, this was it: “I like you, too, Wanda. In fact, I love you. I love you so much, Wanda Maximoff. You don’t have to say it back or whatever; I know tonight has been a lot for you to deal with, but I’ve just wanted to say that to you for so long.”

A toothy grin grew on her face, reaching from ear to ear, “Really?”

“Yes, really. Um, can I kiss you? You don’t have to say ye—“

You were stopped effectively and prematurely when a pair of lips touched yours. Not just any lips, though; they were the softest , purest pair that was owned by your love , Wanda Maximoff. It’s slow at first, neither one of you sure of the other’s boundaries and not wanting to cross wherever they lie. But, as your lips part further allowing her to deepen the kiss, you just think, Wow.  

You continue to kiss her for a minute or two before you’re out of breath and need to pull back for air. Before she can pull back completely, you give her a quick peck on her rosy lips that was probably filled with more intimacy and confidence than that initial kiss.

Pulling the brunette closer to you, you lean down and get the two of you comfortable in your bed. You’ve cuddled like this before during past nights where one of you spent the night with the other girl: you as the big spoon and her as the little one. You deeply appreciated nights like these, but you loved them even more so now that they hold a different context.

Your hand finds its spot on her hip, going beneath the shirt she wore. The two of you know it’s nothing sexual in nature, rather it’s a result of your need to just feel her. As you both began to nod off to sleep with your thumb continued to rub circles on her soft skin, you heard her voice call your name softly once more, “Y/N?”

“Yeah, Wands?”

“I love you, too.”

End.

[the-s1lly-corner]

How about digital circus x princess! Reader with their very own castle. Elegantly leaning out of their tower singing lullabies for anyone to hear. Ps Keep up the great work 👍

TADC cast x princess!reader

I know I usually stress that I answer stuff chronologically but I misread this as just jax (I'm sleepy!!) So I went to search for a princess reader post i did weeks ago, snagged the link then reread the request and saw it was the whole cast... but I've already committed to the bit by searching for the link sooooooooo

CAINE:

You and I both know hes goinv to use the fact ypure a princess for IHA... captured princess trope stuff, basically! So have fun with that! Absolutely loves your singing, so so much. Probably joins in with you, complimenting your part..or perhaps he hums.. other princesses have cute fairytale animals accompanying them, and you have..... bubble..... huh....

Really ups the whole... act when talking to you.. bows deeply, waves his arm around in a grand fashion when showing you to a room, ect ect ect

POMNI:

Has probably subconsciously/accidentally said you were pretty outloud. Gets absolutely lost in the sauce when you sing. Like just stands there, hands awkwardly clasped together in front of her as she listens. Probably sways side to side too. Gets very pink when talking to you, her face does the O^O thing... absolutely smitten

RAGATHA:

Ah my favorite, royal princess x common lady... well, at least aesthetically... whether or not you're royalty in the real world is debatable... anyways, that aside, I think this is probably one of my favorite ship dynamics... I love.. similar to pomni she is very bad at hiding her feelings around you. Tends to stare with a blushing face. Loves making you dresses; assuming you can swap out dresses considering the whole "their clothes are attatched to their bodies" thing

While I doubt your clothing can rip or tear thanks to the properties of the digital world, I think if she could, she would patch up any holes

KINGER:

Honestly I think out of this entire post, kinger is the only one who gets a platonic/found family take on this... just an old king and his princess kid. Again I'm not sure if he truly believes he royalty or if he was trying to appeal to the gloink queen by saying "as a royal myself.." but.. honestly I like the idea that he just likes playing the part. Like he knows hes not royalty but. You know? Let this man embellish himself

Pillow fort? No, pillow TOWER! No... pillow CASTLE! Pillow kingdom!!!

Nothing too hyped specific here he's just your dad here

ZOOBLE:

Oh? Cool. I mean your singing isnt really their cup of tea, they look like they're into alt/indie stuff tbh...maybe rock. Confession I'm terrible at identifying genres so I'm literally speaking out of my ass rn on what type of music zooble would listen to I'd have to list specific artists and songs

But this isnt about that

Depends on what kind of princess you are

If you're independent, resourceful, and badass I think you guys could build some chemistry

If you're like, damsel in distress, ,kind of stuck up, whiny, prissy, ect then it's a hard no

Not many ideas here tbh <\3

GANGLE:

Also thinks you're very pretty! Also loves your singing! I think she grew up on disney films, and even if she doesnt remember them it's still a core memory that like. is kind of instinctive atp. So she finds comfort around you, you know? LOVE that trope btw, where a character doesnt remember something but still finds comfort in it while not fully understanding why because as far as they know this is the first time with the thing

Absolutely melts if you compliment her. Sure, she would still melt if you weren't a princess.. but having someone so pretty and graceful saying it hits a certain way for her

JAX:

[cookiebelle]

Me Fui de Vacaciones • Damian Priest x AFAB reader

Warnings • 2nd person pov (no use of y/n), reader is Afab but I did my best to be as inclusive and nondescript as possible

Smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected PIV sex, oral (m receiving), names (Gatita, baby, you get it), some extremely light kink (spanking, biting, choking, hair pulling), lil bit of Sir kink, size kink sort of, exactly two uses of the word “whore”, porn with an unnecessary amount of plot, tropes galore, idiots to lovers requires its own warning, bad Spanish translations probably.

Word Count • 6.2k words, I have no reasonable explanation for this.

A/N • This should go without saying, but I’m gonna say it anyway. This is a wrestling fic, featuring wrestlers. While wrestlers are indeed real people with real lives, they are also playing characters. The people mentioned in this fic are their characters, and in no way am I depicting the individuals who portray them.

Burning logs crackled. One. Two. Three beers became five. Your feet dug into soft, cool sand as you and your closest friends talked around a fire.

It was the beginning of a well deserved mini-vacation, and the five of you weren’t intending to waste a moment of it. So when you all arrived at the little beach cottage you had rented, even at nearly midnight, you were hell bent on getting the most of your time off. So the fire was built, drinks were passed around, and laughter carried across the beach.

Most people called your friends “The Judgment Day”. You just called them family, though. You had met Damian first, in 2020, the near end of his NXT career marking your beginning. He quickly became your mentor as you navigated the tribulations of what it meant to work for the company, a true friend among those who looked at you only as competition. Later, he introduced you to Rhea. Then the faction formed, and Finn joined the circle, then Dom. Your call up to the main roster occurred shortly after, during the draft. The celebration that ensued when you learned you would be working with the rest of the crew was legendary. These, truly, were your people.

And then there you were, a year later, feet in the sand. You played a light tune on your guitar as though it were the backing score to Bálor’s story, leaving the group captivated. Well, everyone but you. You were looking up at the stars, taking it all in, wondering how you could possibly be so lucky. You decided not to tempt fate by asking the universe that very question, but it seemed fate had its own ideas for this week.

“You good?”

Rhea’s voice pulled you from your daydream and all at once, everyone was looking at you. You realized, in your deep state of thought, your random plucking at the guitar had faded to nothing.

“So good…” you grinned, slurring slightly, at which the group chuckled and carried on with their conversations. Crisis averted. At least you thought. Damian’s gaze lingered on you when you looked back down at the frets of your guitar, but you didn’t seem to notice.

It was a drunken stumble back to the house, sometime around 3AM, everyone finally exhausted enough to end the day and refresh themselves for the next. Except you. As they all said their goodnights and retired to their respective rooms, you found yourself on the couch, unable to sleep and watching reruns of the same sitcoms you had seen a hundred times.

—————

“Hey… Hey you…”

You felt something… poking you?

“Hellooooo…”

You gasped and sat up, eyes wildly searching the room until you found Rhea standing above you. It was light outside, light enough that golden rays peeked through the curtains and illuminated her face. You glanced at the clock. 7am. Hadn’t you guys just gone to bed?

“We’re going to the gym. You coming?”

“I thought we were on vacation,” You groaned and laid back down, covering your face with a throw pillow as you realized how sore your back was. Why the hell did you sleep on the couch all night?

“Suit yourself. We’ll back in a couple hours.”

You rolled over, scrunched up but content as the footsteps left the house, got in the car, and drove away. Slowly, you dozed back off into that euphoric state of half sleep.

“Hey…”

Oh fuck. Damian. Your heart picked up and suddenly you were awake once more. You thought you had heard all of them leave, and yet…

“Hey, you awake?”

You remained rigidly still save for your breathing, even as you heard him approach. For whatever reason, pretending to still be asleep was your first and only instinct. It did you little good, however.

In one sudden motion, as if you weighed nothing at all, you were scooped up into his arms. Still, you pretended to sleep. Despite your heart racing. Despite how badly you wanted to lean into the safety and warmth of his chest. Despite the fire that sparked in your core every time you got close to him.

Yeah, you were down bad. The moment he got in the ring to spar with you that first time, you were a goner, and it only got worse as years went on. You had spent holidays together, traveled to countless cities and countries, bared your soul to him over late night gin and cigarettes. You saw him for what he was. When others saw a monster of a man, a Broken Angel as he was once called, you saw someone sensitive, fierce, and loyal. Even the flaws drew you closer, but you could focus on those another time.

You kept the feelings under the hat as best you could. The only time you let it slip was to Rhea, early on in your friendship, your eyes lingering too long on Damian as he walked away from the two of you. She promised to take the secret to her grave. That didn’t stop her from teasing you in private, though, or from dropping the subtlest of hints when you were all together. Hints Damian never seemed to get, or maybe he did. Who really knows?

Back in the present, he was carrying you… somewhere, that much you could glean with your eyes closed. And then you were placed somewhere soft. Already warm and slept in, like the comfiest hug. Wait… was this his bed? You breathed deeply and realized it was, regrettably, recognizing the scent of his hair left behind on the pillow.

He covered you with a blanket, pushing away some hair that had fallen in your face. It was a surprisingly tender gesture from someone like him, especially for “just a friend”, but that was something you had gotten used to. It was one of the many facets of who he was, showing his love with touch. He was always there for you with a hug when you needed it, or a rub to your shoulders after a good match, and he seemed to mess with your hair a lot, too. You thought nothing of it. That was just.. him.

You decided, as his hand drew away from your face, that now was as good a time as any to begin to stir. You slowly blinked your eyes open and looked up as he was still standing beside you, just turning to leave.

“Mmmm hello…” you mumbled, voice gravelly with sleep.

“Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you up… you just looked uncomfortable and I was getting up anyway so I figured…” He seemed almost nervous, immediately pulling his hands away from you.

“No, it’s fine,” you cut him off, stretching for the first time in what felt like days, “thank you..”

“Okay, well.. you sleep. I’m gonna make breakfast..” he turned back to leave and you quickly grabbed onto his hand, tugging it backward.

“Too early for breakfast. It’s your bed. Come lay down…” your voice was barely above a whisper, but he heard every word.

It wasn’t as though you two hadn’t shared plenty of beds. Traveling on tour was like that. With Dom and Rhea paired off, and Finn preferring to be alone, you two often ended up in a room together, and thanks to Damian’s stature that meant sharing a single king bed. Of course, you didn’t mind. Not even as you laid awake all those nights, trying to quell that burning need you couldn’t seem to shake when you were so close yet so far from him. You wondered how he could sleep, how he couldn’t feel your nervous energy from across the bed. Maybe he could, and just paid it no mind.

This time was different, though. Charged. Like the energy you felt shooting through the fingertips that touched him was somehow a mutual exchange. Like if you pulled your hand from his right now, you would see the electricity connecting them. You couldn’t explain how or why, all you could do was tug on his hand as he tried to decline your invitation.

“There’s no way you’re not tired, come on…”

And, after a moment of your insistence, he reluctantly obliged.

There was a dip in the bed, and you hummed happily as a strong arm wrapped around you, hugging you close for a moment as he got situated. You rolled onto your side, facing away from him so you could hide your secret little smile. Strong arms wrapped around you again, to your surprise, and you shifted until you both were comfortable laying there in each other’s space.

You two always ended up like this, once you finally found yourself able to sleep. You would wake curled up against his massive frame, him holding you in a manner that could only be described as possessive. It was almost as though he was protecting you in your slumber; From what, you weren’t sure. Bad dreams? Aliens? You always played it off as though you two just enjoyed the closeness, drawn to each other in the unconscious. You’d vehemently defend to Rhea that it was strictly platonic. The butterflies in your throat disagreed.

It felt like every single cell in your body was vibrating. You thought there was no way that you could sleep, and yet you felt your eyelids droop as his warmth spread around you. Once again, you dozed, your body weightless despite being hyper aware of the fact that you were pressed up against him. His shallow, sleepy breaths puffed across the top of your head, but you would later learn he was also not sleeping.

No, he was in the same predicament as you. Pretending to sleep while his mind raced and the smell of your hair drew him further into this downward spiral. It was all innocent thoughts at first. Friendly. Looking forward to spending time with you and the others over the next few days. Then he opened his eyes, catching a glimpse of your peaceful, sleeping face and a switch flipped. Suddenly he was consumed by the thought of waking you up and taking you then and there, finally giving into the urge he felt every time he got close to you. Every time he watched you wrestle. Every time you smiled at him from across a room, or fell asleep on him during long flights, or gave his butt a pat as he walked out from Gorilla to the ramp. He valued your friendship more than that urge, though, and it’s stopped him every time he’s nearly gone through with indulging it.

Lost in your thoughts, you only barely registered the fact that he had scooted a little bit closer to you than before, hips flush with the curve of your ass. Something else pressed against you, something somewhat firm and insistent. You blushed, trying to muffle the faintest gasp at the realization of exactly what it was. He had to be sleeping… right? Would he do this if he wasn’t?

You didn’t know what to do, frozen still by the options before you. You could ignore it, pretend to keep sleeping and act as though nothing was happening. That was the safest option. You two could proceed as usual, protecting your friendship for the long run while you pined for him still. Or… you could give in and acknowledge it, say fuck it to all of the doubt and uncertainty.

Fuck it.

You moved to back yourself up further against him, making sure to slowly grind your hips and drag your ass against the clothed protrusion. You heard a low, barely audible noise from him, spurring you on as you arched your back slightly and once again pressed your ass into him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing…” he whispered under his breath, not wanting to wake you if this was all just some kind of cruel joke the universe was playing on him. His hand went from holding you across your waist to slowly tracing a line down your side, stopping at your hip and squeezing gently. You hummed again, softly, leaning into his touch.

It burned where his fingertips made contact with your skin, feeling that same electric energy as before, stealing the breath from your lungs. It was now or never, you decided, no going back from here. A calculated risk, but you were always so bad at math. Slowly, you reached back, grabbing hold of his hip and using the new leverage to really grind against him. You heard a low rumbling, like thunder in his chest, fingers digging into your hip.

“Don’t tease me…” another barely audible growl of a whisper. You chuckled softly, putting on an air of confidence in spite of your hammering heart, moving just enough in his hold to turn your head and look innocently at him. God, he loved that look. He propped himself up on his elbow, looking you over with a glint in his eye you’d never seen before, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“Who’s teasing?” You offered a smile over your shoulder.

“I mean it…” he brought you closer to him, his lips finding your bare shoulder. He placed a kiss on it, then bit down softly, eliciting the tiniest gasp from you. Another kiss, another bite, another low, sleepy whine from you as your hips begged for more friction. His hand on your hip pulled you back as he rocked slowly into you. God, why did he have to make this so good? It was bad enough that you were past some kind of point of no return, but every press of his hips to your behind only made it worse, forcing tiny moans out of you. Officially helpless to the way your body was reacting to his touch, you didn’t bother resisting it any longer. Your hand on his hip reached between the two of you, teasing along the waistband of his boxers before reaching in. Your hand slid tentatively down his pelvis, running over smooth, hot skin before finally wrapping around what you were looking for.

It was damn near as intimidating as he was. Long and thick and heavy, twitching slightly in your grasp as he grew harder. You couldn’t help but utter a quiet “Fuck”. His chest rumbled as you stroked him a few times, and you couldn’t help but groan with him, the slick heat of your core only growing more overwhelming with each glide of your palm. You felt lips on your neck now, doing the same as before. A kiss, a bite, then another soothing kiss as you mewled at the sensation, your walls clenching around nothing, absolutely begging for him. You’d be lucky if you made it out of this without him marking you, but would that really be lucky? You kept on with soft, slow strokes, breathless as he continued to focus on your neck.

“Are you sure we should do this…” he breathed in your ear, your movements slowing as you processed his question. He was giving you one last out, it seemed. One last opportunity to say “you’re right, let’s stop”, though you both knew you had already gone too far to come back from this. But, with no hesitation, you nodded.

It all happened so fast after that. In half a second you were flat on your back, eyes wide as you tried to choke out something clever or witty to say, completely failing. He wasn’t touching you yet, but nonetheless you were pinned, his massive frame caging yours entirely. Your eyes cut down to discover he’d slid his boxers off, hard cock hanging between his legs. Fuck, it looked even better than it felt. Your gaze wandered back up to his confident smirk. He knew what he was working with, clearly. Smug bastard.

“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice…” you couldn’t help but laugh, doing everything you could to look normal, ignoring the steady beating in your ears.

“Just couldn’t help but notice you admiring something…” he chuckled, then leaned back down to kiss your neck, and suddenly your mind was mush again except for him.

You were ripped from your thoughts as you found your top being pulled off and your breasts exposed, his mouth immediately attaching to one. He was all teeth and tongue, frantic and desperate, years of tension finally breaking the dam and rushing through his veins. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, writhing and gasping as he played you so expertly, somehow finding every little sensitive spot and knowing exactly how to wring the most pathetic little sounds from your throat. Had your nipples always been this sensitive? You couldn’t remember. In fact, this all felt so new, like it was your first time all over again. His intense focus turned up to you as he switched to your other breast, the eye contact enough to ruin you both. You broke it, certain you would come in an instant if you held his dark eyes any longer.

Damian let go of your nipple with a tug of his teeth, leaning up to finally kiss your lips, both hands holding your face. White heat burst behind your eyes as his tongue immediately assumed dominance over yours. You wrapped your arms around broad shoulders, moaning shamelessly into his mouth as tongues danced and one of his hands moved to firmly hold your jaw. He only broke the kiss to speak, lips just centimeters from yours.

“Pretty little thing… me estás matando…”

Your loss for words left you grinning stupidly in response. You, killing him? While you’ve lost all sense of chill, not even bothering to pretend to be casual about this? He kissed the smile off your face, biting and tugging on your bottom lip as he pulled away, leaving your lips to chase his as you whined with need. It was strange, the fact that you needed him. You’d had plenty of partners, plenty of good sex. Sure, you wanted them, but this felt like you’d surely die if you didn’t feel him inside you soon. Like your body would simply vaporize without his touch. Maybe this was how it was going to be from now on, feeling like something was distinctly missing when he wasn’t touching you.

Your flimsy cotton shorts were the next to go, his lips finding every inch of exposed skin down your abdomen and claiming it as his own. Eager hands glided down his shoulders and back, taking in the way each muscle flexed as he moved along your body.

His energy was impossible to place, manic but calm. He knew exactly what he was doing, but still moved with an urgency as if the two of you would be caught any moment. Which… was partially true. In a moment of clarity, the rest of the crew came to mind and your heart picked up at the realization that they would be back soon, and this would be over. Or worse.. they could find you two, passionately entangled. What would they say? What would HE say? You feared he would deny it, too ashamed to admit he felt anything for you, even just lust.

Your thoughts continued to race, eyes closing as you panicked. You tried to be discreet about it, but if anyone knew your cues, it was Damian. He moved back up to you, a strong yet delicate hand wrapping around your throat as he kissed you. Well, that was one way to knock out the intrusive thoughts.

“Look at me,” he squeezed ever so slightly as your eyes focused, his tone stern yet soft, “whatever you’re thinking about. Doesn’t matter right now. Tell me what does.” Another squeeze.

“You.”

“And what else…”

“… me?”

“Good girl.”

Another kiss, another squeeze, and he was gone. Back to leaving bite marks down your body. He came down to your panties and let out a silent, somewhat shaky breath. Finally. Finally he had you right where he always wanted you. It was almost overwhelming, but he didn’t let onto that. His fingers gently traced over black cotton, finding a damp spot along the seam of your cunt.

“Oh gatita,” he kept focus along that spot, shooting sparks through your entire body with how inexplicably sensitive you were, “is this all for me?”

All you could do was whimper in response, letting your head fall back to the pillow as your hips chased his fingers, begging for more. He granted you that extra friction, mouth falling open as he watched you shamelessly grind against his hand.

And then he pulled away, leaving you whining from the loss. In a blink, your panties were tossed to the floor and finally the two of you could take in the sight of one another. It took all of the self control he had not to split you open on his cock right there, but he resisted, instead kneeling between your open legs.

You looked up at him, breathing out a barely audible “please”. You nearly took him out right there, his composure faltering as he fully looked you over.

“Perfect,” he exhaled, readjusting his position and giving his straining cock a few lazy strokes, making sure you were watching. Oh, you were watching, nearly drooling at the sight.

His hand found your pussy again, gently swirling a thumb around your clit, eyes locked with yours and hand still slowly working his cock. He wanted to see every reaction, every little microexpression, he wanted it all. He had waited this long for you, years of picturing you in this exact moment. He wanted to savor everything.

You moaned through your bitten lip as he teased, not daring to look away from him. He had you captive, it seemed, frozen in place and begging for anything he could give you. Which is why you whined so pathetically when he pulled his hand away, once again.

He sucked your essence from his thumb, savoring your sweetness. You hummed at the sight, closing your eyes, only to feel his grip on your jaw a moment later to tilt your head up toward him.

“Look at me,” he commanded, his voice deeper, more serious. You didn’t dare disobey him, looking up like a deer in headlights. Something about that voice… you couldn’t quite place it. He growled lowly, bringing his hand back down to your cunt. He collected some of your juices on his finger, running it up and down your slick folds before slowly, agonizingly sliding it inside.

He still gripped your chin, daring you to look away as you whimpered at the sudden fullness. You had always admired his hands, giant and strong and rough, yet gentle. You’d wondered how they would feel in this exact scenario, often finding your mind wandering as your own smaller hand worked to your release in the late nights. It was beyond what you had imagined, so much more. His finger found a slow, steady pace, filling you perfectly and yet not enough all at once. You moved your hips with his rhythm, mouth slack in euphoria, eyes still trained to his.

“So fucking good for me, look how well you’re taking it,” he praised, letting go of your jaw to let you look down at where his finger was disappearing into your tight hole. Then, as you watched, he added another finger, wrenching a moan straight from your chest as your head fell back once more. Now the pace picked up, the thrusts of his hand stronger, more precise as he curled his fingers to find that sensitive little spot. You gasped and panted pathetically as he played you so expertly, looking back down at his hand only to fall back onto the pillow, overwhelmed by the sight.

It’s unfair, how he seemed to know you without knowing you. Without much effort at all from him, you found yourself closing in on climax, your panting gradually becoming uninhibited moans of “Please. Please. Please.”

“Please what, gatita?” He cooed, slowing the pace ever so slightly as he leaned over you.

“Please. Just. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Just don’t stop.”

“Oh, don’t stop?” He slowed just a bit more, grinning down at you. You could only whine in response, hips moving sloppily now, trying to encourage him to fuck you faster. Harder. He obliged… for the moment. Your walls slowly grew tighter, your moans more heady and uncontrolled. You felt the coil tighten. Tighten. Tighten…

And then he slowed again. Painfully. Your orgasm held at bay, he couldn’t have appeared more smug, knowing exactly what he was doing. You looked up at him, flushed and desperate.

“Why’d you do that?” A whine, to which his response was simply to kiss you. Again, he picked up the pace, adding another finger, making sure you felt just how much he stretched you. Oh, you felt it. Your vision went blurry at the sensation, focusing on him and only him.

It didn’t take much to bring you to that edge again, the coil tightening even more, threatening to break with every rough pump of his fingers. He was hovering over you now, leaning down and biting on your shoulder, sucking a mark into it. Apparently, he didn’t think about the consequences of that… or maybe he didn’t care. Nevertheless, he bit again, smirking into your shoulder as you arched your back and rode his fingers, dramatically chasing your high. You were so, so close, every muscle in your body tense, hands scratching down his back.

“Come on, baby. Come for me.”

It hit like a brick to the face after that, overtaking you in every way as you moaned and gasped, holding onto him for dear life. He nuzzled his face into you, kissing and sucking marks down your chest to your abdomen, every press of his lips electric.

Everything felt blurry and yet razor sharp, every muscle in your body twitching in the aftershocks. You barely registered that he had kissed back up your body, hands on either side of your head as he waited above. His lips locked with yours the moment your eyes focused, your hands immediately twisting in his hair, holding him as close to you as you could.

You felt the weeping head of his cock prod at your folds, one of his hands guiding it to rub against your clit, still sensitive from your first orgasm. You mewled with anticipation, your hips grinding down against him.

“Patience…” he breathed against your lips, your hips stilling as he slowly slid inside. Just the head. A gasp from both of you. And then another inch. Fuck. And then another. And another. Until you felt all of him and all you could do was pull him in for another consuming kiss. He started with a slow pace, almost sweet, letting you get used to his size. It quickly grew intense, rough and fast, as he let himself fall into the demands of desire. Your hands grabbed at anything on him you could as he overwhelmed you with his force.

It really was unfair, the way he was fucking you. You didn’t stand a chance against him, not finding a single opportunity to gain the upper hand, left only to meet his thrusts with reckless abandon as you moaned with each moment he filled you. You liked it, though, being at his mercy. You trusted him, strangely. You could probably get used to this.

He’s stronger than you thought possible, his grip on your thighs surely bruising you as you writhed and arched your back at a particularly delicious sensation within you. You couldn’t help but close your eyes, completely lost in the rhythm and harshness of the snap of his hips. He bared his teeth as he fucked you harder. Faster. Tears pricking the corners of your eyes from the intensity. And then his hand was over your mouth, his eyes off you for the first time since this dance began. He was scanning outside the open window, watching a car come down the street, thinking it could be the rest of the group. That didn’t mean he stopped fucking you. In fact, it only got more intense.

“That’s right. Fucking take it.” he was back to looking down at you and your wide eyes, burying himself so deep inside you, you were sure he was ruining you entirely, “that’s it, baby. Tell me how good it feels.” Except he didn’t pull his hand from your mouth, smirking as you attempted to speak anyway, your mind too gone. That is.. until he slid himself fully inside, grinding his hips against yours. You moaned out loud, sure that the neighbors have heard you by now, your walls squeezing around him and feeling the drag as he pulled his cock out entirely.

“On your knees,” a simple order, and yet your brain was static. You blinked up at him before shaking away the fog and turning yourself over, wiggling your ass in his face just a little. His growl shook you, two strong hands grabbing hold of your ass and squeezing.

“Love this ass. Always loved this ass. Estuve soñando al respecto,” he kept squeezing, spreading you and groaning at the sight. You couldn’t help but smile at his reaction, giving it another shake in his face. Suddenly, you felt teeth on flesh, letting out a yelp that quickly became a satisfied sigh, your head dipping down past your shoulders. Somehow, you didn’t expect his hand to come crashing down on you, the slap against your ass ringing out in the empty house. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, too immersed in the moment to acknowledge anything but the way your back arched and your chest created the most depraved noise you’d ever heard.

“Oh, you like that, huh?” Another slap, you gripped at the bedsheets to keep yourself grounded, “you like being treated like a whore?”

“Yes, sir,” you whimpered involuntarily, nearly slapping your own hand over your mouth at the realization of what you’d said.

“What.. did you just call me?”

“Nothing…”

A ruthless slap, “Tell me.”

You sobbed at the impact, “sir.”

The growl in his chest shook you, and with little warning his cock was pressing to your folds once again, sliding in with ease and setting a brutal pace right off the bat. You dropped to your elbows and arched your back, eyes closing as your head once again dropped. Of course, he took advantage and leaned over you, one hand finding the back of your head and pressing you down into the bed, holding it there. He slapped your ass with the other, laughing when you moaned into the mattress. It left the prettiest pink handprint, he almost wished he could get a picture of it.

You couldn’t believe the way he was fucking you. Like— like a whore, just like he said. You’d think he’d be gentle with you, being your first time together, that he’d want to show you how worthy he was of your pussy. In a way, he was showing you that. He was showing you his worth by fucking you absolutely stupid, and you were loving it. So much that you weren’t far from another climax, feeling your walls tighten around him, dragging such a beautiful sound from him. His hand found your hair, grabbing a fistful and pulling your head off the bed. You cried out, steadying yourself on your hands. It was overwhelming, every sensation he subjected you to, to the point that you felt completely delirious with pleasure, all sense of control lost. You fucked yourself sloppily back on his cock, his fist pulling tighter on your hair. The tears pricked your eyes again, eyes whiting out.

“Ohhh fuck, are you coming? You filthy little—” he didn’t finish, groaning as your cunt rhythmically clenched around him, his own thrusts growing more erratic. You didn’t even hear him praising you with little ‘good girls’ and whispers of how good you feel, your head clouded with the sounds of your own depravity. You rode out your orgasm for what felt like hours, nearly collapsing as your body ceased quaking.

Your brain was working in half time, barely registering that he was still fucking you slowly, trying to bring you back to reality. You tried to speak, but the words were completely incoherent.

“Need a minute,” you finally mumbled, reaching back and grabbing his hand that rested on your hip. He obliged, pulling out and laying down beside you, pulling you into his arms. Your breath caught gradually, your mental faculties growing stronger by the second despite your throbbing cunt. You sighed contentedly, leaning up and kissing him for just a moment. You had your own ideas, now, and one in particular overtook your thoughts.

You kissed him again, grabbing hold of his cock, still slick with you. Your hand stroked him softly as you shifted down the bed, timidly tapping his leg as to ask him to open them. He did so, and you climbed between them, licking your lips as his cock bobbed in anticipation. You took him hungrily into your mouth, not bothering to tease, too eager to feel him.

Now it was your turn to show how unfair you could be, expertly taking him deep into your throat, holding there until you choked. Immediately, he was gone, head falling back on the pillow until he realized he would rather watch you. Your hand assisted your bobbing head, using your tongue to lap at every vein and ridge of his perfect dick. His groans and words of encouragement and yes gatitas only fueled you, giving everything you had to taking him. You almost wanted him to cum right there, to lose all composure and fill your mouth. He had other plans, however, pulling you by the hair off his cock and admiring the fucked out look on your face.

“So fucking pretty,” he mused, pulling you up to him and kissing you. It was all a ploy, of course, and you let him guide you to straddle him, your hips hovering just above his waiting cock. He ordered you to look at him, your brain already to fuck drunk disobey, eyes fixed on him as he lined himself up with your entrance.

“Go ahead, take it all,” he couldn’t help but grin, brow furrowing in pleasure as you did just that, your own face mirroring his. It was almost too much, almost. Getting your balance, you slowly began to bounce on his lap, leaning on his shoulders for leverage. From there it was an endurance test, the pleasure of riding him only tainted by the strain it put on your knees. Still, you continued, his hands finding your hips to help bounce you on his lap, mewling when his hand crashed down on your ass.

You loved having the power. Loved watching his face twist in pleasure as you grinded your hips down onto his. … and you loved that it took little effort for him to suddenly flip you onto your back once more, placing your legs up around his shoulders as he sunk back into you. Every thrust was slow now. Powerful. So much so that each one knocked you back into the wall. It didn’t matter, you were too delirious by the way he was abusing that little spot inside you, seeing stars as you looked up at his concentrated face.

It was close, again, a climax brewing in your core that nearly overtook you the moment you felt it. Your sighs and moans became whines, hands gripped the sheets below you as he just continued with each knock of his hips to yours, folding you up as he leaned forward and somehow sunk impossibly deeper inside you. You pleaded to him, begged him, did everything you could to encourage him to keep going, please. Just another minute. ‘I’m so close’. But he didn’t even have time to stop, the wave crashing over you as the last ‘please’ left your lips and all you could hear was ringing in your ears and the sound of him grunting through each perfect squeeze of your walls around him.

And suddenly you heard something new. A breathy sort of noise intermixed with ‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’ as his thrusts grew less calculated. Almost sloppy. His hips jerking with every thrust until he couldn’t stall any longer.

“Come on, Papí. Come for me…” you breathed, certain you were tearing the sheets at this point while your cunt pulsed around him, still coming yourself.

Papí. That was all it took for him to fill you, painting your walls as his fingernails dug crescents into your thighs. You laid there, chest heaving as the two of you shared a blissful moment, eyes locked in the realization of what had just happened. And then, as if to dispel the little voice of worry in the back of your mind, he let your legs down gently and climbed up beside you, taking your face into his hands and kissing you. It wasn’t a particularly passionate kiss, but it was perfect for that moment. Perfect enough to ease that budding anxiety.

“We should do that again…” he whispered into your ear, breaking the tension in the air as you burst into a laugh.

“I was thinking the very same thing.”

——

Friends who asked to be tagged: @melisabesurviving @bbygirlnessa18 @missfamilyjeweles @mzv11 @southerngirl41 @thealliasylum @romanreignkisser

[beanghostprincess]

the monster trio are various flavors of audhd (all strawhats are neurodivergent, but they the most)

luffy is high empathy, stimming, bluntness and audioprocessing disorder

zoro is hyperfocus, sleepy, good at maths and flat affect

sanji is infodumping, special interest (cooking), rigid rules (don't hurt women, don't use hands, etc) and difficulty with regulating emotions

Agree completely 🫶🏻 There is not a single neurotypical person in this crew !! That's why they love each other so much, they just get each other. In general, I think that the whole "misfits finding a found family" trope is incredibly neurodivergent coded but I think that specifically with the strawhats there is like, a fundamental obvious understanding that none of them are neurotypical. Like there is no way. I know it's meant to be very general for people who don't fit in to relate, but keeping in mind that most of the time the reason people don't fit in is because of living in a normative, neurotypical society... Idk. I just feel like the strawhats were all meant to be for neurodivergent people.

This being said !!!

AAAAAAAAAA I love the monster trio being neurodivergent. Mainly because I know it'd bother sooo many dudebros. And also because it makes so much sense and it's very very very real to me.

Luffy can't stop moving or doing stuff because it is painfully boring to be doing nothing, so he's always finding new things to do because short attention span and hyperactivity in a crew where everybody has their own stuff to do?? Not a good combo. So he's always seeing what he can do to not get bored. I think he's always touching Zoro's earrings absentmindedly like-- It's not even on purpose. He just does it. Also, being made of rubber has to be the best thing for stimming with your own body ngl. He's sooo direct and honest and blunt because he genuinely doesn't get why people don't think the same as him, but he doesn't have to get it to be emotionally attached and help you out because he makes other people's emotions his. Also add info-dumping right there because I know this guy is the biggest nerd about beetles and will talk to anybody who asks about them. They might be talking about something that has nothing in common with them and he brings them up anyway. Also! I adore the APD headcanon??? You're so right and it fits him SO well.

Zoro is my absolute beloved here because he has so much depth and feels and knows so much but people always characterize him as stoic and emotionless and like,, He just has a hard time showing it visually but he feels stuff deeply. He's always training and it almost feels like the world around him vanishes and he's always sooo eepy. Eepy boy. I get it. I think he almost finds it frustrating tbh like- We never talk about that but I think it's a bit bothersome for him sometimes? Also he's my favorite math genius and he might be shitty at directions but damn he's good at this. Also he likes things to be perfectly placed and everything to be in patterns of 3, thank you.

Sanji is the realest for me-- Don't ask him about the All Blue (please do) because he will start talking like crazy for hours and hours and hours with the brightest of smiles. If somebody wants to know about his cooking like, actually know what he's doing, he won't shut up. Somebody mentions any animal or vegetable or fruit and the guy is already telling you all the ways it can be cooked. He has a lil voice in his head telling him constantly what he should and shouldn't do btw and I also hc that he has to have everything in the right place or else he loses his mind completely. And that's tied to not being able to regulate emotions properly-- So he's constantly extremely anxious or feeling waves of sadness or just, extreme emotions in general.

[dehydration-stati0n]

Yandere!WhiteBeard Pirates x Reader HCs

If you have another member you want me to add, please feel free to ask! These were just the ones I could think of off the top of my head :)

Rules Word Count: 1.4k Spoilers: None TW: Yandere Themes, slight non-con?, abuse

Whitebeard

The ‘overprotective and overbearing parent’ trope

He’s the one who most likely got you roped into him and his sons’ obsessed grasp

convincing you with promises of a loving family and protection from anyone who would ever want to harm you.

He doesn't have any punishments for you and prefers to leave it up to the others (Marco and Ace)

He would refuse to let you leave the ship under any circumstance, and if he does allow you to leave, he makes sure you're within someone's sight

Unlike the others, he doesn't see you in a romantic light, he sees you as one of his children

He recognizes that he likes you in a different way than he feels about the rest of his sons, but he just kinda chalks it up to you being weaker and way more defenseless than the rest of them.

It's how he justifies his possessiveness over you too. You just need more attention because you can't protect yourself

He'll have your biological family killed, whether you were close to them or not

Why would you need them when you're real families right here?

He has everything he could ever want right within his grasp, and he'd gladly give you it all as well, as long as you obey them

Play along and you might even find being with them enjoyable

As intimidating as Whitebeard can be about where you go and who you're with, he’s a fairly laid-back guy

Do whatever you want whenever you want. The main thing is that you're not leaving the crew in any way.

Stay within sight of someone and you’ll be fine.

Marco

Whitebeard got you on board, but he’s who convinced you to stay

he’ll tell you that you have a sickness of some kind and he just so happens to have the cure, although, it’ll take some time to fully take effect so stay a while! Relax! He and the rest of the crew got you covered :)

I imagine him being very easy to talk too

He'll snitch on you if he catches you or you tell him about doing something out of line tho

He's ridiculously manipulative

He'll guilt trip you for literally anything

"We've given you all this and you're just going to leave? Don't you think you're being selfish, yoi?

Marco is really clingy and likes to hold you in some way.

Usually, he’ll wrap his arms around you or hold your hand.

Not afraid to chain or tie you up to keep you still

he also isn't afraid to break a bone in order to get you to stay, although it's more of a last resort for him

Very regular checkups that are definitely not meant to allude to anything sexual at all, it just always seems to happen to go there coincidentally

Works with Thatch a lot to drug your food

He honestly just loves taking care of you. It makes him so happy when he can fill some sort of caretaker role.

Ace

He's the most violent, either to you or others

He has a bit of a jealous temper when it comes to you and sometimes his emotions just get a little out of control

He'll apologize after, surely you understand why he did it.

He just wants your full, undivided attention, and why would you want to pay attention to anything that's not himself?

He’ll probably put a tattoo on you. Whether that be the crew's symbol or some other sign.

He likes that you have that permanent mark on you to show your gratitude and devotion to your new, loving family

Ace can be violent and jealous, but he’s also extremely oblivious?

Like he notices everything and nothing at all

He'd notice someone flirting with you but then wouldn't realize you're trying to leave if he found you halfway out the window with all of your stuff

It's 50/50 whether he catches onto something or not and you have to pray that he doesn't notice

You’ll have little burn marks all over you from when he’s gotten out of control. Thatch hates them and always scolds Ace for doing so. Marco doesn't mind since it lets him spend more time with you in the infirmary.

Your only scapegoat for him is his sporadic sleep habits

If you catch him while he's asleep, you can have a solid 10 minutes by yourself.

He likes throwing little parties for you on the ship, he really does want you to feel comfortable and safe with them and this is how he goes about it

It's always a lot of fun and he makes sure that he's near you so you don't feel nervous or awkward.

Thatch

the sanest?? Least self-aware??

he’s also gonna be the nicest

Unlike Marco, he will not tell Whitebeard about anything 'bad' you did

Refuses to hurt you in any way, it makes his skin crawl just thinking about him causing you pain

He'll even cook for you! Anything you want. Just tell him and he'll do his best to make it perfect :)

Sometimes he'll drug your food so he can admire your sleeping form

He loves taking care of you while you're asleep

He'll bring you a blanket as your head rests on the kitchen table then he'll sit right next to you and watch, occasionally brushing strands of hair out of your face. Sometimes he might even gently style it for you.

He follows you around like a lost dog

Wouldn’t be opposed to you putting a leash on him

He’d honestly do anything you asked of him, even if it meant killing one of the others

He's suffocatingly clingy and always just seems to be nearby. You can rarely leave his sights.

He absolutely adores the size difference between you two and will constantly hold you in his much larger arms

Every once in a while he'll ask if you want to sit in the kitchen with him while he cooks. He likes to talk to you and especially likes it when you ramble on about anything to him

It's great cause you could rant about how you hate being on the ship and would apologize, laugh it off, and not tell anyone

You'll most likely end up being closest with him due to how friendly and peaceful he is to you

Izo

Izo is very loyal and loving until you disobey one of them in some way

He gets almost emotionless when he's mad and it's terrifying if you're on the receiving end of it

He loves showing you off, especially if you're wearing things he gifted you

Those gifts always consist of jewelry he found or bought. No price is too much if it's for you after all.

He expects you to wear at least a couple of gems at any time. If you don't he gets a little upset and insecure.

"Do you not like it, my love? I can get you something better if you'd like. You can even come with me if you'd prefer."

Some of the jewelry he gives you has little trackers so that they could better find you if you ever managed to escape.

He’d buy you kimonos and stuff too

Really likes to introduce you to his Wano culture and also just loves seeing you in more traditional outfits

He's a samurai and as such, he'll act as a sort of bodyguard for you

You can be the respectable ruler and he'll be your fearless protector

Like Thatch, he also would refuse to harm you, but he has no problem getting Ace or Marco to do it for him

He has zero tolerance for others in public and if he thinks their getting too close or sees them as a threat in any way, he'll kill them right there in front of you

He'd do pretty much anything if it meant you were safe

His loyalty lies with you above anyone else and even though he'll get the others to punish you for your actions, he wouldn't punish you for speaking your thoughts on the entire situation. If anything, he's touched you trust him.

He's very strict about that code of his. He will only ever have you punished for your actions and NOT your thoughts.

[misterbrekker]

If you're a six of crows fan I cannot recommend lockwood & co enough!!! We've got:

Traumatized teens forming the most wholesome found family

COMEDY!!!! It balances the darker stuff out so nicely.

A ship that is just kanej but a different font (think kanej if Kaz smiled more and Kaz and Inej touched all the time) (I'm not exaggerating. It's all. The. Time).

Literally. Lockwood is an au!Kaz.

The clothes, the scheming, the hopelessly in love with his friend...

Lucy is also a lot like Inej. She WILL call out her man.

The plot is really good!! Feel free to ooh and ahh because there are both ghosts and mysteries.

The acting is GREAT!

Have I mentioned there's an amazing slowburn (yes, I have).

There's also every top tier trope you could imagine (fancy party, wound bandaging, general teens without real adult supervision whilst also being more competent than the adults shenanigans).

I'm just trying to spread the good word because odds are if you are a soc fan, you know the fear that those two words (Netflix + renewal) instill.

So if this show at all sounds like your thing, please DO give it a try. And tell your friends and your mailman and maybe the guy next to you in the bread aisle too.

[hella1975]

hellaaa plz share your favorite dabihawks fics for all of us who want some recs into their crazy minds!!

sorry i didnt answer this straight away i was reading a 230k words fic that i wanted to finish before i added it here 😭 does anyone know what's wrong with me. therapists hate me

dabihawks rec list!!

burn it all down by dorothycanfly - an au where dabi comes back to the todoroki estate to kill shouto when he's 19 and shouto is 11, but decides instead to take his little brother with him as part of his Grand Evil Masterplan that doesn't quite go as he wanted. this is the fic i always rec first in this fandom as it's the first dabi fic i really read that felt like it Understood Him and really made me go bananas about him. it's dark and twisted and true to what i think his actual mindset would be without demonising him, and also has shouto and him being very close and the way the author writes their dynamic is everything to me like it's so true to a real sibling relationship and id die for them. it gets very smutty in the middle but if that's not your thing the plot also kicks right back up again at 100mph immediately after, and there's also a sequel still being updated that's very promising.

big reputations by phanatics - singer fake dating au!!! i absolutely love dabi's characterisation in this and the celebrity angle is handled soooo well. the miscommunication and slow burn is incredible and that's coming from a bitch who finds both tropes frustrating unless they're done to my very niche standards. im pretty sure i read this fic in one day. im not making graduation i fear.

gunshots and molotovs by ironicallystupid - this is a 14k oneshot where dabi treats hawks' gunshot wound in a distinctly dabi way and then they get drunk. this one really got to me and i think it's bc it's one fic where they feel so true to character while still, for once, both acting their age. a big appeal of dabihawks for me is that they are both ultimately just two guys in their early twenties and seeing them embody that youth and silliness was surprisingly poignant

the 'will you accept this rose?' series by satelliteblue- the famous bachelorette au! if you don't know what i mean by famous, it's bc this fic has a habit of getting people who don't even read mha fic obsessed with it. like it's genuinely addicting. i remember first finding it and being like 'bacherlorette au dabihawks? be so fr' and look where im at now, 355k words later. it's genuinely just such a fun read AND i love the drama of it AND it has the todofam angle AND an actual plot snuck into it effortlessly. one of my fav fics of all time truly and it's still updating!

perspective by theeclecticeccentric - this is the fic i just finished and when i tell you ive powered through all 230k words of it in the past 4ish days. i love the league dynamic in this with the whole found family angle. i'll say it was something i clicked on less bc this kind of au (childhood friends dabihawks brainwashed to forget each other) is what i would normally go for and more bc i have BATTERED the dabihawks tag for all it's worth so i just tried it on a whim, but im so happy i clicked this bc it wound up being so fun! i also love any fic that forces the heroes and villains to ally against the hpsc and this fic does that. instant hit with me.

[chaoticspeedrun]

Hello! I hope you are well!

I saw that you wanted some ideas for a fic, i have a request if thats okay. I have an request for an donnie x reader (can be gn or fem!, either is fine), where the reader seems like the villain but is trying to protect them from a bigger badder villain maybe like big mama for example? Maybe like a lovers to enemies to lovers trope? Or just a enemies to lovers trope.

Anywho i love your work! Please remember to take breaks and please remember to eat and drink something today. Bye bye!❤

AN: You guys are worrying about me and my health, it’s so sweet, I’ll try though my ADHD brain might forget, thank you <3 also, your brain is beautiful anon, villain reader lovers to enemies to lovers?? *chef’s kiss* How could I pass that up?

This one took a while because I got excited and it got long, I love how it turned out though.

Trust fall

Pairing: Rise!Donnie x Fem! reader (No use of Y/N)

Type: Oneshot

Summary: Donnie fell in love with you slowly but steadily, he would have trusted you with his life, which is why finding out you were working with a villain was too hard of a hit to take.

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, break-ups, reader says f*ck once.

MASTERLIST

Donnie didn’t think he was too trusting, but sometimes he didn’t have the insight to people Leo and Mikey would, his own ego made him think he couldn’t be fooled, and maybe, just maybe, that would be his downfall.

He met you at the Big Nexus Hotel, you were staying there for a couple of days to try something different is what you said, a human in a huge hotel full of yokai who was suddenly ran over by a mutant ninja turtle in his attempts to escape the claws of a big feral dog called Gus.

Donnie hurried to protect you, grabbing your hand and pulling you into a run alongside him, because you were a civilian suddenly involved in the situation since Gus had seen you together, so now you were in danger too.

The moment he saw Leo on the other side of the hallway waving and opening a portal Donnie didn’t hesitate to go through it, dragging you along and directly into the lair where Mikey and Raph were already staring at you in shock, Leo just whistled, closing the portal behind him before asking.

“Well DonTron, aren’t you going to introduce us?”

Introductions were a messy affair, where you explained you’d been staying at the hotel for two days before what happened, and they explained themselves in a way. You took their explanation in stride, just accepting mutants and Yokai were a thing after the crazy persecution scene just a moment before.

Your easy acceptance put them all at ease, they were shocked at it, yes, but thought nothing more while Mikey excitedly asked if you wanted to stay for dinner and Leo just made a side comment about your attitude to them being a little weird.

Donnie should have thought it out further.

You were fitting right in and sitting at the table with them, but even after the crazy day you just had you still had enough energy to ask Donnie about his battle shell, the question then went over to his tech bō, him explaining how he got his hands on the titanium used on most of his things and then switched over to sci-fi movies, Leo joining the conversation in smalls bursts at that.

You left the lair with four new phone numbers and after a couple of months, you were already a new addition to their little found family.

You made friends with April real quick and then with Sunita, their father seemed to like you and whenever you came over you usually brought a little something with you, cookies, pizza, coffee, just something for the guys, waving off their thanks and telling them it was just good manners, even when Raph repeatedly insisted you didn’t have to, while Leo would immediately ask what you brought that day once you walked through the door.

The pride and warmth that came to Donnie whenever you’d ask about his projects, the new videogame he was into, with all your attention never straying from his rants, or when you’d laugh at one of his jokes started growing and changing into something else with each of your visits.

You were always considerate of them, but he couldn’t figure out how with just a small exchange of texts between the both of you before your arrival at the lair you always seemed to be able to tell if he was in the mood for plain black coffee or a lavender latte and would walk into his lab with a small greeting plus the steaming cup in your hands.

Small things like that increased and slipped into your interactions, making him feel like you knew and understood him better than anyone else.

It made him happy, it made him nervous at times. He started making things for you, gift giving was one of his love languages, why wouldn’t he use it with one of his closest friends? One of his favorite people.

But your reaction to his gifts made him short-circuit, you were so happy, so genuine in your excitement, asking questions about the gadget he made to facilitate your routine and communication with the lair and using it as much as you could.

He started making more things for you, and you reciprocated with your own little gifts to him.

At some point you were both just stuck at the hip, always together when you were at the lair, standing by each other’s side during missions, and texting or calling when you weren’t present.

The guys teased him constantly for months and he would deny what they said until April basically slapped him in the face with the knowledge they all had and he had been in denial about.

He was in love with you.

And it scared him enough to hide in his lab for a couple of days before Leo portaled Mikey wearing full Dr. Feelings attire inside for the longest lecture of his life.

With all the courage he could manage to get from his brother and your worried texts asking if he was fine, Donnie realized that he trusted you, and he trusted that regardless of how you felt about him you could continue your friendship just as normal.

You couldn’t, you couldn’t continue your friendship just as normal, because after Donnie managed to confess you jumped into his arms telling him you felt the same, and suddenly it wasn’t all the same, Donnie was practically vibrating in your arms with glee, it was way better.

The time you shared increased if possible and the laughs did too, freer and more frequent; because knowing one another so well was another love language you shared.

Donnie felt he understood you just like you did him, he knew you better than anyone could, had seen you happy, sad, angry, and he could read you just perfectly by now.

Which was why even though, occasionally, you would disappear for a couple of hours or even days, Donnie didn’t even think to ask much of where you were going most of the time, as long as he knew you were just fine, what did it matter? When you came back you would tell him of a lady at the store who fought with you for a box of cookies or about your aunt who lived out of state and always had a weird story to tell.

Leo did ask though, he would ask frequently, and you’d say you had some errands to run, you were going to the store, to a party or a family gathering, and Donnie would say good luck, while Leo would nonchalantly let you go, but his gaze whispered doubts.

One day he spoke them out.

He asked Donnie about what you did those days when you went completely off radar and Donnie looked at Leo like he was insane, telling him it was your business, but his brother wouldn’t budge, and the conversation switched tone quickly with Leo telling Donnie how your attitude was weird.

“It’s the way she doesn’t look anyone in the eyes whenever she goes MIA, it’s different from when she just goes grocery shopping or something, why would she need to go without any communication like that anyways?”

“Please Nardo” Donnie rolled his eyes “It’s called privacy? And some people just feel like staring into the ocular globes of other people is uncomfortable.”

“Does she?” Leo insisted and Donnie knew the answer was usually a no, but he wouldn’t give his brother the satisfaction “It’s not only that Don, why is she always so sketchy when we ask to see her apartment?”

“Can you just drop it Nardo? Some people just prefer their privacy.”

“She is always hanging out at the lair though? But refuses video calls if she’s not out on the street. And how long have we known her for already? So long and not even her boyfriend has seen her apartment or even a picture of her family?”

Donnie winced but refused to give in “She’ll show us when she’s ready! Why is that such a hard concept for you to grasp Nardo? What do you even think she could be hiding from us? How can you be just spouting such baseless claims like my girlfriend is hiding something horrible from us.”

Leo sighed, shifting slightly in place before asking his next question, a bit more careful, Donnie faltered at the change of tone “Can you just check where she is? I want to believe you’re right Don, but there’s something that has just always seemed off about her to me, I won’t ask you again, the moment we see with your GPS that she’s at her parents’ place out of state like she said I’ll completely drop the topic.”

Donnie wasn’t like Leo, he couldn’t read people so easily, but he knew you, and he knew you way better than Leo did, so he knew there was no reason to doubt you and Leo was just reading a nonexistent text between lines that were as clear as they seemed.

So he caved, with an exasperated sigh, he turned to his computer and started typing something to pull out your coordinates with the chip he placed on your phone and hadn’t used, telling himself he’d only do so if there was an emergency, but he could make an exception, then Leo would finally get off both of your backs.

The algorithm showed your location and both boys stared at the screen, the calm expression on Donnie’s face shifted to something more worrying and Leo’s frown returned.

You were at the Grand Nexus Hotel.

-

There had to be a reason for what he and Leo had found out, and Donnie wanted to figure out what it was.

He was going to ask you when you came back because there was surely an explanation for you going there, so when you came back after a couple of hours with the flashing light of your location glaring at him through the screen, he asked how things went, sure you’d tell him your reasons.

Except you said it was fine and told him a story about your parents being worried about you and asking about your life, how the food was great and other things Donnie realized were pretty generic, too generic.

You were lying to him, and he didn’t even know how long you had been lying for.

-

Things were changing, and you had noticed, but Donnie avoided your questions, he avoided the topic all together even though it ate at his insides because a part of him still wanted to believe you and kept making excuses.

Only two days after they saw you at the hotel, Leo came into the lab through a portal; Donnie was about to yell at him, but Leo spoke faster.

“She’s at the hotel again, come on, I’ll go for Mikey and Raph.” Leo left immediately after that, and Donnie’s heart was beating faster, how did Leo know that? Had he been following you since then?

He met his brothers in the projector room and Leo’s portal took them to the Grand nexus hotel, Raph and Mikey were asking questions, but Donnie could barely hear them, just automatically following Leo’s instructions to check your location on his GPS, which confirmed that you were right there like his brother said, the turtles all followed until they were right behind the doors to Big Mama’s office, Donnie’s heart sinking further at the realization.

He barely remembers what happened after, the doors were wide open and there you were, dressed in all black, your clothes covering most of you except your eyes but it was you, staring back at him, first wide-eyed and then coldly, standing next to Big Mama comfortably, someone said something and he thinks there was a discussion or exchange of words, but he couldn’t remember, Big Mama herself gave you the order to attack them and he finally noticed a pair of escrima sticks suddenly in your hands as you rushed their way.

You were moving so fast, so practiced, like you had been trained, so unlike when you went on missions with them, you were flowing naturally, using your weapons against Leo, who had met you in the middle, like they were an extension of your body.

He’d tried to teach you to use his bō before, you were so clumsy with it when you tried.

Even that had been a lie.

It was all a blur, suddenly they were all fighting you when more yokai working for Big Mama joined in, Donnie was fighting with a newfound rage, all his scrambled thoughts making him see red, so much red Raph had to restrain him and carry him by force out of there, he heard Mikey trying to reason with him but Donnie ignored him with his eyes set on you.

“WHY?!” He managed to yell when you stopped following them near the entrance of the hotel “WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY GAIN FROM LYING? YOU LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING!”

“What could Big Mama’s guard gain from knowing everything about the turtles that get on her nerves?” You responded coldly and Donnie’s eyes were glassy with rage and pain while his brother pulled them both right through a portal back home.

He cried on April’s shoulder that night, over a pile of his brothers who must have felt betrayed themselves but quietly supported him through the heartbreak.

-

After that you kept meeting, thankfully you must not have noticed the tracker Donnie had placed on you, because whenever you were doing Big Mama’s dirty work, he got an alarm and they’d find you.

Every time you met, Donnie would remember everything you had done and couldn’t look into your eyes, thankfully he didn’t have to if he was shooting missiles at you from afar, why did he always go for your type? Cute and mean, he just hadn’t realized how mean.

And it wasn’t easy to fight you because despite his common sense and how much he hated himself for it he still had feelings for you, it was horrible, he hated it, he hated it so much, and he couldn’t help but ask himself every single time he saw you even from the corner of his eyes if anything you’d gone through had been real at all.

All the laughs, all the smiles, all the gifts, all your questions, had all of it been a lie? Was there anything in your relationship that could have been real? Was that how you could read him so easily?

It infuriated him to no end, to know he had just handed you over every weakness you could need to fight them.

Except that when they arrived at the lair one night after a successful fight against you, Leo pointed out that you hadn’t used anything you knew against them even once since they found you out.

It made no sense, but he was too tired after seeing you and was walking straight to bed, ignoring his twin’s plea to talk about it and his voice asking if you knew where they lived, why wouldn’t you try to use it? Why had you let them go that day at the hotel—

“Why has she failed every single time we’ve fought when she knows the controls to your tech?!”

Donnie halted and turned to Leo with wide eyes, he had forgotten, how could he be so stupid? He’d forgotten you knew every weakness, every button, every function of his tech.

“You knew that! You knew she could use it if she wanted to sabotage it! Why didn’t you say anything?!” He asked Leo, Raph looked surprised too.

“She can do that? Leo! She could have put us all at risk!”

“But she could have done that from the beginning!” Leo told them, stressing out the last part “She could have done so anytime we fought but she hasn’t! She had a grasp of Donnie’s bō at one time and conveniently touched a button that electrocuted her! Isn’t that suspicious?!”

It was, it was suspicious.

But what about it? There was no questioning you were the bad guy, you had been lying to them about everything, you had been helping Big Mama get her claws into strange artifacts—

Except, Leo was right, Donnie was tired of Leo being right, but you hadn’t gotten Big Mama all those artifacts, you had failed.

Donnie rushed over to Leo and took the latest artifact out of his hands, he rushed with it to his lab where the rest of what they had gotten from you was stored, his brothers following behind.

He hadn’t taken the time to study them, got a couple books that may have some answers about what they were, but studying them had felt like a pain, he lacked motivation, until now.

He rushed through the books, pulling artifacts and making mental notes about them and what they could do together, his brothers tried asking questions and touching them but he pushed them off with his metal limbs.

“Why would Big Mama even use this?” He mumbled, catching their attention “It’s like a defense mechanism against her type of yokai, and this other one is a mechanism against—”

Against a serpent, a chimera, it was a neutralizer.

A smudge on it caught his attention and there it was, in your own writing, ‘Amphisbaena’, one of Big Mama’s champions, the two-headed serpents.

He reached out for another one that had written ‘Cortex’ on it.

‘Operator’

‘Sprite’

‘Troll’

All of them were names of Big Mama’s champions, all of the artifacts labeled with the name of a champion it could either restrain or knock out, they had been hidden deep into the city, guarded carefully but unassumingly, yet you had known exactly where they were.

‘Why has she failed every single time we’ve fought when she knows the controls to your tech?!’

You hadn’t failed, Big Mama hadn’t asked you to get these artifacts in the first place, that’s why you never had backup, you always acted alone, guiding them to these.

Donnie was worried, because why would it be so easy? Why would it be like that? Whatever Big Mama was planning were you really trying to stop it? Was it foolish of him to believe that? The slight glimmer of hope he hadn’t managed to discard begged him to believe it was true, but could he? Why would he?

Why should he fall again for your lies? This could all just be a trap.

So he turned to his brother, who’d been putting together the pieces while watching over his shoulder, turned to Leo, so he could wake him up with the cold harsh truth, squash that small last glimmer of hope Donnie had so he could move on.

But when he did Leo had that look in his eyes like the cat that caught the canary, there was relief in his face and Donnie’s eyes widened while his twin turned to him.

“We need to get through Big Mama’s security and find out her plans, we’ll infiltrate her office tomorrow if you can figure out by then how these things work” Leo spoke confidently, starting to explain a plan to the rest of them while Donnie was unable to stop the hope from growing in his chest.

-

The boys were right in Big Mama’s office, the others guarding while Donnie looked through her computer for anything that could help them.

Finally, he found something, a whole file, but it was better if he just took it and read it at home, he started downloading the information and looking it over to make sure it was what they needed when he heard a thump and Mikey’s yell.

“Turtley-boos, I thought we’d already talked about this” Big Mama’s voice echoed through the room and Donnie saw her right at the door “No stealing from Mama.”

Leo and Raph went to attack while Donnie kept glancing at the tab’s process and cursing the size of it, just one more moment just one moment.

And then he remembered the artifacts, he took the one labeled ‘Big Mama’ and threw it “Leo!”

Leo caught it with an “ahá!” and pointed it at the spider before realizing he had no idea how it worked “Gah!” Leo was pinned against the wall by a web while Big Mama took the artifact in her hands with a new expression on her face.

“HOW did you get this?” She asked but the artifact was taken from her hands by a pair of five-fingered ones.

“Guess” You said before pressing on the side of the artifact and opening it, a burst of light came from Big Mama like the artifact was a vacuum for her energy and the spider yokai dropped, glaring up at you, a hint of amusement in her otherwise angry eyes.

She chuckled humorlessly “Oh I knew there was something I liked about you, I just hoped you were as smart as your parents when choosing a side.”

“My parents have never controlled me BM, and neither could you” You snarled before hearing guards approaching your door.

You rushed out to take something from Big Mama’s pocket, she tried to claw at you but you were faster.

You quickly made your way to Leo, using a laser to destroy the web, he fell with a screech before you pushed his Katana onto his chest.

“Get us to champion’s row, now!” You yelled.

“We still don’t know what she’s planning!” Donnie replied from where he stood at the computer.

“I’ll tell you! But we need to reach her champions NOW!” Your eyes were looking at him imploringly and while Donnie wanted to fight you and ask why he should trust you at all the familiar steps were getting closer and he cursed pulling himself away from the computer while Leo opened the portal, you all went through, and appeared at the entrance of champion’s row, where the halls were silent.

Mikey suddenly jumped into your arms making you stumble a bit with your eyes open wide.

“I knew it! I knew you couldn’t be on Big Mama’s side, you were always hiding something but I had the feeling you were protecting us!”

WHAT?

Donnie’s exasperation was slightly clouded when you closed your eyes and hugged Mikey back with all your strength, breathing with what Donnie knew was relief before you pulled back from the hug, your expression firm.

“Big Mama has been looking for an old jewel that is said to possess the power to control all yokai, she found it just recently and hid it under the surveillance of her champions, she was waiting for a big event, but because of what just happened she’ll want to use it now, that’s why we have to neutralize her champions and get the jewel before she recovers and comes for it—”

“And you know this because?” Donnie asked, glaring at you, and seeing how your shoulders tensed before sighing and reaching up to remove your mask.

“My parents work with Big Mama” You mumbled, the silence was dense for a moment “They work for the human part of the hotel’s business and raised me to continue their work, I was trained from a young age because a human working with the yokai mob boss is clearly not a safe job.”

“Woah, Okay! So, you are supposed to inherit their side of the business? And why should we trust you then? Why should we help you?!” Donnie asked, his voice getting louder and echoing through the halls as he walked up to you, he knew it, there it was! They couldn’t believe you.

You didn’t react much, looking back at Donnie with something akin to resignation, like you weren’t expecting anything less, calmly you continued speaking “I’ve hated what my parents and Big Mama do my whole life” you said while Donnie looked for any shift in your expression “When I was a kid I was exposed to the battle nexus, I saw the fights and then I saw the warriors trapped in their cells down here, saw them battle to the death with other people who didn’t even have a chance and how the yokai enjoyed the show, making bets for the next fight when there was a corpse left down in the arena.” Donnie faltered slightly, listening to the hurt in your words.

“I threw up the first time I saw it, while my parents told me I’d get used to it eventually, and I refused them, I had a rebellious phase, they called it, until I realized, if I was here, I could learn how to change things and tamper with BM’s plans, so suddenly, I became their golden child.” There was a new glint in your eyes, Donnie wished you’d stop giving him reasons to hope.

“How long had you been working with her?” Leo asked, and you sighed.

“Two days before I met you guys, BM took me in to become a guard at her side so I could see how she ran the business from up close and that’s when I learned about the jewel.”

“Then why didn’t you tell us?” Raph who had been mostly quiet so far asked a little defensively “We could have helped you if we knew.”

“It was risky” Your voice sounded pleading “After meeting you BM started suspecting me for being around you that one time, so I had to prove I had nothing to do with you to her, if you suddenly seemed to know things about her plans that you shouldn’t she would have immediately distrusted me.” Your eyes strayed to Donnie’s with so much sadness in them and he would have pulled at his hair if he had any, it was so hard to not give in to that look, but he knew better than to do so.

“The day you found me out at the hotel I wanted to talk to you guys and come out clean with everything, but Big Mama was angry and suspicious because you clearly knew who I was, so she started keeping information from me, leaving her side would have made everything I’d worked for meaningless and I wouldn’t have realized when she got her hands on the jewel, I panicked but knew she wouldn’t just use it quietly, she would have gone with a big event, so I found out where she was guarding it and started guiding you with Donnie’s tracker to the artifacts, if I had them BM could have found out, but with you, they’d be safer.”

“All right!” Leo sounded chipper “So where is the jewel? So we can get out of here pronto and talk over pizza about how disowned you are.” Raph and Mikey hummed in agreement, Mikey mentioning something about getting your favorite before Donnie raised his hands up.

“Just like that? We are just going to trust her and welcome her back to the circle?! Like nothing happened, she still lied to us! She still lied to me!” Donnie pointed at himself with his thumb, an angry glare directed straight at you, and he saw you wilt in place, his glare trembled but there was a loud hiss coming from the hallway right at that moment.

You all hadn’t exactly been quiet that whole time.

“It’s Amphisbaena! Quick, this way!” You reflexively took hold of Donnie’s arm, pulling him through another hall before letting go “The artifact! It will knock them out, just turn the cover!”

Donnie rushed to pull the artifact out before Mikey took it from his hands, pointing it excitedly at the serpent that was getting too close for comfort.

There was a screech and a thump before both heads were on the floor completely knocked out, you pointed to another hall and went running, the boys all following you while Donnie passed them each one of the artifacts.

“We’re close! Just this one and the jewel should be behind the bars—” your voice was interrupted by a loud growl and you seemed to pale

“Who’s that?” Donnie asked going through the labels of artifacts they’d already gone through, one of them held a little tiny Sprite in there, the angry champion unable to get out and hitting the glass with her fists.

“It’s Kraken Tom, I couldn’t find anything for Kraken Tom” you said in a panic, right at that moment a black tentacle reached out from your right and took you in its grasp while you screamed.

Donnie yelled your name before taking out his staff “Let her go you outgrown cephalopod!” A big missile launcher construct in neon purple materialized before shooting at the Kraken right in the face, the Kraken screeched before letting go of you due to the pain, you were falling rapidly before being caught in Donnie’s arms, you looked up at him enamored but he wasn’t looking back, glaring at the Kraken before letting you back down.

“Hey buddy, miss me?” Leo asked the Kraken before slicing through one of its tentacles while another tried to reach him “Donnie! You two go for the jewel, we’ll take care of this.”

Donnie and you looked at each other before rushing down the hallway, finally, you found what you were looking for, behind a strong container was the jewel.

“why can’t Leo just take it out with a portal?” Donnie asked as you rummaged through the pouch on your waist.

“It has a barrier against mystic arts, I took this from Big Mama back at her office” you said holding up a key in your hands and twisting it through the lock, immediately the jewel was released but a green portal opened behind you, sending chills through your spine.

“Oh darling, I thought your parents taught you better than this, they’ll be very disappointed” Big Mama was right behind you and you pulled out the artifact again but your hand holding it was pinned to the wall immobile a moment later with her web goop.

“Donnie take the gem!” You turned to him with desperation and he did quickly pocketing the thing before pointing his staff at Big Mama but she was already holding her claws to your neck.

“You should think twice turtley-boo, it’s the gem or her neck” She hummed, her claws already pulling at the skin but you refused to express your pain.

“Take it Donnie! You must leave now!” You yelled and he growled.

“Don’t be daft, like that would happen, this though, looks interesting” Donnie smirked with the jewel pointed right at Big Mama who gasped and pulled more blood from your neck before a beam of light made her eyes whiten, suddenly over the control of Donnie.

“Come on!” He said taking your hand in his and pulling you away from Big Mama who was starting to wake up from the trance since Donnie didn’t know how to use the jewel.

You both reached the guys who were finishing with Kraken Tom, when Leo saw you he immediately created another portal “let’s blow this popsicle stand” he said and you all ran through it.

-

You were in the med bay with Leo as he treated the cut on your neck, which was thankfully superficial, while Mikey prepared some dinner for you all.

It was really quiet for a bit, you were clearly uncomfortable after everything and couldn’t read what Leo might be thinking, as far as you knew he was the one who found you out, he suspected you for a while and you couldn’t blame him, it may have been to protect them and your mission but you had been lying to them this whole time, going as far as to hide your fighting abilities so they wouldn’t ask too much, the idea of pizza at their dinner table wasn’t something you entertained, your plan was to leave after everything and give them space.

Give Donnie space, despite how much it would hurt you.

“I know he understands why you did it” Leo broke the silence, still looking at the wound while cleaning it “It makes sense, it was logical and by this point he knows you only had good intentions, he does it all the time himself, good things that look wrong.” You snorted looking away.

“He’s right though, I lied, and he has no reason to trust me again after everything.” You said bitterly “I fucked up Leo, and Donnie deserves way better than me.”

“Maybe let him decide that?” Leo looked at you and you expected him to look stern, but his gaze was full of concern, for you? For Donnie? It was a brotherly concern you didn’t think would be directed at you again “I’m not saying it’s fine, you hurt him, he has every right to be angry at you, I know I was pissed” he gave you a lazy grin and you looked down again “But you were protecting him, weren’t you?”

“Big Mama would have gone after you all if she’d known I was friends with you.”

“I’m not talking about that” He rolled his eyes “I’m talking about the fact that you could have found a way to tell us everything and you didn’t because you knew Donnie would have tried to help you and put himself at risk, you thought it was better for him to hate you.”

You kept looking down, but then you heard a very familiar voice at the entrance of the med bay.

“That’s just so stupid” Donnie snarled lowly, and you tensed up, Leo finished bandaging up your neck and stood up, sending a reassuring look your way before walking out of the bay and leaving you with his purple-coded brother.

There was only silence while Donnie sat down in front of you where Leo had been, you finally broke it by speaking “What did you do to the jewel?”

“I destroyed it” He sighed sounding bitter “I wanted to study it but it’s probably better that no one gets their hands on it” he said as if he had been trying to convince himself of that “I also recovered a bunch of data from Big Mama’s computer”

At that he looked into your eyes and your own widened slightly as you realized what he must have found.

“She was planning to control me specifically” It wasn’t a question, just a fact “to create something that would allow her to increase the range of the jewel, is that why you were there when we broke in? To slip the info over to us somehow?”

“Yes” you mumbled and heard him sigh, he slumped slightly in his place, but his posture was a bit more relaxed, and you dared to look up, just to find him staring straight at you, his eyes softer than they’d been since that day at the hotel when he’d seen you with Big Mama.

“What was the truth? Were you dating me just for convenience? So you could help us because you knew I was in danger?”

“No!” You scrambled to answer quickly, eyes open wide and startling him for a moment, you looked pained at the thought “No of course not, none of that was a lie” you pleaded “About working with Big Mama and my disappearances, that was, my relationship with my parents and about my fighting skills those were because otherwise, you could have found out the first part, but none of our interactions were fake or staged, I wasn’t trying to get to you in the beginning, it was pure coincidence.”

The corners of Donnie’s mouth twitched down slightly as he tried to school his expression, but he was having a hard time doing so when your glassy eyes made him want to hold you tight back in his arms.

“Donnie I was never planning on falling in love with you, I just did” your voice had gotten lower, almost scared and he decided he’d had enough, quickly pulling you into a tight embrace, he felt you stiffen before relaxing and hiding your face in his shoulder, it felt wet, and he realized you were crying, so he held you tighter, holding back his own tears of relief.

“You’re going to have a lot of explaining to do, I want a full essay on everything that happened from then to now and no more lies, not even small ones, about Big Mama, your parents, everything” you didn’t say anything but nodded into his shoulder, he started drawing circles on your back with his fingers before continuing “But for now I just want to get some food into my system and hold my girlfriend in my arms while we watch Jupiter Jim Pluto vacation IV”

You separated from the hug looking up at him with teary eyes open wide, you looked so confused but he just reached up to wipe the tears while you attempted to form words “Ar-are you sure? Donnie, you don’t have to get back with me or hell, even forgive me if you don’t want to”

“Why would I not forgive the person who sacrificed her own well-being for mine? Your methods may have been less than ideal but I’m not stupid enough to let you go after all of that.” His voice was chiding, but his expression was soft and a small smile had started forming in his face.

You reached up quickly to place your lips over his and he held the back of your head to pull you closer.

You felt like you still had to make up for much, but Donnie was fine, and if anything was true it was that he loved you as much as you loved him.

[enharcv]

so it goes | park jongseong

THE SWIFT PROJECT : VOL 2 [ PARK JONGSEONG ]

pairing  ‣  brother's best friend+ racer!jay x it girl + best friend's sister! fem reader ft enhypen's hyung line , wooyoung & san (ateez) , yeonjun (txt) , seeun (stayc) , karina (aespa)

genre  ‣  brother's best friend trope , childhood friends to lovers , fluff , slight angst

warnings  ‣  profanities , arguing (not much) , not proofread , mentions of alcohol , jay getting a black eye (slight violence) , illegal racing (idk help) , lots of flirting + maybe slow burn , lots of getting cock blocked , sunghoon being a dick at times , hookup scene , reading is rushed (i was dying to get this fic off my wip list im so sorry).

rating  ‣  16+

wc  ‣  46k

a/n  ‣  HI LMAO. starting off with a very big apology for delaying this fic n starving y'all.. like this was due since april. it's been four months working on this fic n to make it up to y'all, here's a whooping 46k fic lolll! AND ALSO , thank you so so so so so so so so so much on 1k+ notes for chasing you ㅠㅠ!! truly im so greatful for it, so so grateful fr like i was so happy i was beaming the entire day when i found out we hit 1k+ on chasing you!!!!!!!!! as a thank you gift for making chasing you (y'all know i always go ALL out on jay fics) a hit, i gift y'all so it goes, volume 2 of the swift project, a whooping 46k (again!) fic!!!!!!! hope u guys have fun n enjoy reading!

playlist  ‣  so it goes...  - taylor swift , love me harder - the weeknd & ariana grande , chateau - blackbear , out of time - the weeknd , don't blame me - taylor swift , dancing with our hands tied - taylor swift , collide - justine skye & tyga , say it - tony lanez , or nah - ty dolla $ign & the weeknd , into you - ariana grande , trust issues - drake , slow down - chase atlantic , maps - maroon 5 , kiss & make up - blackpink & dua lipa , if i - seventeen , heartless - the weeknd , fallin all in you - shawn mendes, lily of the valley - daniel.

BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT had always been the park's sibling thing. you and sunghoon had always been the top of everything, never second or last. 

whether it was in terms of popularity, looks, style, personalities, academics, sports, curriculum, etc— you both never lacked. 

and there were just never any flaws found in the both of you, the both of you were just perfect. 

so perfect that almost everyone wanted to be you, that even when sunghoon graduated everyone was truly so bummed that the school had lost their gem. 

not too sad because you were still left, another gem was still there. and with all the popularity that came, everyone wanted to be you. 

it was just something that's normal, every girl wanted you, every girl wanted you and every guy wanted you, every guy needed a chance with you. 

some would even go telling around that they did get you, rumors like that would often be heard once and then but you never bothered about it. 

because if it's not a real fact, and it's not something you did— it's not a problem, you couldn't care less. 

in the end, you're you and they're them, a bunch of losers and fans that want to be you so bad. it was something you've gotten so used to that it's old news and you don't bother about anymore. 

surely to the reputation, you also live up to your standards. you're strong on your beliefs wherein anything that isn't related to your academics, school, friends, family and curriculum, it's not important.

even if you did like someone, it's just some celebrity crush you'll get over in a week. it wasn't because you're not attracted to anyone, you already had someone else in mind. but that's besides the point. 

because, that didn't seem to convince sunghoon enough considering his stupid little brother agenda had always annoyed you where he has this overprotective thing over you when a guy enters the conversation they can kiss the chances with you goodbye. 

every single time a guy approaches your radar, sunghoon is in your business telling them to fuck off or he'll make their life a living hell. and sunghoon is definitely a man of his words. 

on time this kid in your grade just approached you to ask about something related to the class you both take together and it seemed like it just had to be the worst timing, sunghoon was just right with you. 

the kid literally almost pissed himself from the daggers sunghoon was shooting at him for looking at you more than 5 seconds and you genuinely just wanted to die from how embarrassing it was. 

the fact it happened more than just once just proves how sunghoon overprotective over his sister agenda wasn't leaving anytime soon. 

but now that he's finally out of high school and busy with college and his lifestyle there, you thought you would finally be free from his torment. 

read : you thought. 

sunghoon was regardless on your back no matter what, so you pretty much gave up on trying to get sunghoon snap out of it even though it was annoying. 

what else was even more annoying is that sunghoon didn't seem to trust his own friends around you. 

it would've been less annoying if he had just kept that whole overprotective agenda with random guys but his own friends were just ridiculous. 

perhaps it was because he knew how his friends were, the type of guys that he's always warned you about, the type of guys you had to stay away from no matter what. 

you could agree with that if it came to jake since his natural habitat is being deep inches into different girls every weekend and playing with every single female he could spot. 

but jay? you didn't think so. you knew jay hanging out with jake and your brother would have influenced him in a sort of way, which it did but he was still different from them.

he had his fair amount of hookups, flings and one night stands but you knew he was famous for never being tied down to a relationship. you figured it was probably because he doesn't do commitments and whatnot but maybe he's just less of an asshole compared to your brother when it comes to girls. 

you just find jay somehow more interesting than jake— jake is a great guy but jay just keeps you attracted to him in an unexplainable way. 

you're sure you don't have feelings for him, you don't do all these feelings stuff but, jay has something on you and you like to think it's just probably him being fine. 

besides they're all away in college now so it wouldn't matter, you'll get over it in no time (that's what you've been telling yourself ever since you were 11 but whatever that helps you sleep at night). 

it's been about a year and half now ever since you've seen them and ever since they've moved away for college. other than all the parties and mess they made when they were back home— you couldn't deny that you indeed missed their presence. 

you loved your friends and everything but being around your brother and his friends felt more like home to you.

so you were beyond overjoyed when your mom broke the news that they boys are finally coming back home for summer break. so overjoyed that you couldn't sleep at night, just few hours away from reconciling with your brother and his friends again. 

the entire time you were at school you couldn't wait for each period to end, you were so excited that you couldn't stop talking about the news to your friends. 

"god i can't remember the last time i went to a good party— like, all the parties i went to after the 02z left was literal trash and so lame, " wooyoung sighs, rolling his eyes and continuing to sip his chocolate milk. 

"right? so glad they're finally back in town, summer this time is gonna be the best." karina agrees, shaking her head cheerfully and turns to face you, who's already looking at her with a big smile. 

chuckling at your friends being so hyped and cheerful now that summer break is finally here and senior year is coming to an end— and, the 02z being back in town.

"you guys seem to be more excited than me at this rate."

seeun shoves your shoulder and gives you a mischievous smirk. 

"yeah and you, young lady," she says, narrowing her eyes at you. "you have no excuses now to bail out on us when we're going to parties— school's out, we don't want to hear anymore lame shit coming out of that pretty mouth, y/n."

the only difference between sunghoon and you is that, despite being in the centre of spotlight, you had always been more of a homebody and sunghoon was always the life of the party. 

so when it came to large gatherings like parties and stuff, you were always too occupied with academics to bother about those parties sunghoon threw. 

and the part where sunghoon and his friends are dying of hungover the next morning, you're not a big fan of it, at all. 

"seeun's right, it's finally summer babe! we need to set loose, it's the final year of high school are you seriously gonna choose to leave out all of the fun?" wooyoung asks as he shrugs so exaggeratedly. 

karina nods along, and smiles at you with the very well known smile of hers, the one that just makes you agree to everything she says. 

the rina charm, and unfortunately it works on you. 

"you're already always missing out on the race matches we go to, the ones that your brother and his friends are always at too!" karina whines, at this point she's begging you with pleading eyes.

"i just don't see the point in racing, the hype is too exaggerated." 

"girl, have you seen choi yeonjun?" wooyoung gasps at your statement, crossing his arms across his chest. 

"what? he's back in town again, too?" karina asks as she faces wooyoung with her jaw wide open. 

"yeah, he's back for summer break too which means races are gonna be held more frequently now." 

you just sigh loudly at karina and wooyoung conversing about the races they cannot get enough of, especially with whatever drama that goes on in there. 

one thing you know for sure is that sunghoon did not like choi yeonjun at all, even the sight of him gets the blood boiling. you personally never had any experience with him so you're not sure about what's the hype with him or what's the beef your brother has going on with him. 

whatever it is, you hope he just doesn't get into any messy trouble with yeonjun and ruin the summer for himself and everyone else. 

"so, i was saying— y/n you can't miss out on any fun and i mean it." wooyoung demands, pushing karina aside and ignoring her as she begs wooyoung for more news about yeonjun. 

her massive crush on choi yeonjun was showing, but that was every other girl in belift high, you guess. 

"fine, whatever you guys say." you nod, agreeing to wooyoung and the rest. 

"seriously girl, just let loose and have the best fun you can, you only live once as a teenager, high school will never happen again." wooyoung says and pouts at you with his hand plastered on his chest so dramatically. 

"you need to shut the fuck up, that was so corny." seeun says and bursts into laughter with karina. 

well she wasn't wrong entirely, wooyoung has quite a knack for being so dramatic for no reason at all. 

"seriously, y/n? you too?" he sulks, seeing you joining karina and seeun laughing at him. 

"wait! no, wooyoung—" you call out the half blonde half black haired boy as he gets up and leaves, sulking. 

"you better go after him, you started this!" karina says, slapping seeun's arm and pushing her off the bench. 

you just wave seeun a goodbye when she leaves whining after wooyoung, in hopes he'd get over it. 

"you should get going," karina chuckles, and gets up with her bag slinged over her shoulder. 

you completely forget your brother and his friends arrival, too engulfed into the conversation with your friends. 

"oh yeah, i almost forgot." jumping over the bench, you grip onto your bag and walk the opposite way as you wave at karina.

"see you rina!" 

the walk back home was quite nervous for some reason. you found it weird you were feeling this way, it was really just the same three people you practically grew up with, so being nervous shouldn't even be in your system. 

somehow the closer you got to your residence, your heart was beating against your rib cage in nervousness. 

the familiar car parked in front of the front yard gave you the chills and the excitement being mixed with nervousness was making you light-headed. 

entering your home you see your mother walking down the stairs with a big smile at you. 

"are they back already?" you ask and take off your bag in a rush before heading into the living room right away. 

"what? were you hoping we weren't gonna come back?" a voice pops up from the corner and there was the cocky tone in the voice that your recognized all too well. 

"hoon!" you gasp, engulfing him into a hug with big smiles plastered on each other's faces. sunghoon chuckles and gasps for air jokingly when you wrap your arms around him so tightly. 

"you're gonna kill me, y/n!" sunghoon whines, tapping your arm when you pull away with a scowl. 

"what a way to greet your sister that you haven't seen in a year and plus right? the best brother award must belong to you." you say, scoffing and rolling your eyes when he smirks with a proud expression on his face. 

"that award has always been mine, you're just too late to acknowledge that." he says, cocking his eyebrow as he smiles at you. 

yeah, you definitely missed him so much. 

"seriously? not even a second after the sibling reunion, you guys are already fighting." 

you turn around to see jake coming out from the kitchen, striding his way towards you with a big smile.

"jake!" 

pulling you into a hug, you melted into his embrace and taking in the feeling you missed oh so much. 

"cut it out now," sunghoon interrupts, pulling you apart from him making you and jake whine in annoyance. 

what was sunghoon without keeping you off limits from his friends right?

"dude im finally seeing her after more than a year— are you serious right now?" jake scoffs jokingly, whining at his best friend. 

"well you can see her," sunghoon says, nodding his head towards you. "but keep your hands off her." 

"even if your hair changed, that overprotective brother in you definitely didn't." you grunt, tearing your gaze away from jake and hoon to the figure standing by the kitchen, a small smirk on his face as he watches the ongoing quarrel. 

eyes scanning you up and down, he pushes himself off the wall and walks over to you and the rest, hands in pocket and smug expression plastered on his pretty face. 

you're stunned, you weren't going to lie. 

natural black did wonders on him, and wonders as in making you feel so giddy the moment your eyes laid on him. 

you didn't ever know how gorgeous someone could look like in jet-black hair, jay pulled it off so effortlessly— he looked even more better than he was in blonde. 

if that wasn't enough to hold you back from almost letting your jaw hit the floor from seeing him, jay has gotten a lot more broader and you wonder if he's been hitting the gym in the past year because the outlines of his biceps and muscles looked more defined. 

your eyes just couldn't leave his just as his couldn't leave yours. 

you looked just like he could remember but more— breathtaking. senior year has definitely played a big part on how much you've matured over the year, you look more pretty and hot. 

"hey," 

"hi, jay." 

your voice has gotten deeper than he remembers, the high pitchy voice now replaced with an alluring voice that was truly taking everything in him to not get weak in his knees. 

nevertheless, pushing all the thoughts behind, jay just gives you a small smile and then faces away from you. 

you're not sure why the lack of attention or interaction with him gave you a small pang in the heart, not that it shouldn't have mattered. 

you paused to think, no way in hell did you consider wanting anything to do with him that isn't platonic— just because suddenly he showed up after a year and half being gone, looking a lot more fine and handsome, didn't mean he could be your summer fling. 

but you couldn't help but think about the possibilities of it happening, it seemed fun and thrilling. 

the mere thought of sneaking behind your brother's back and fooling around with his best friend didn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all— pretty much the thought of it gave you a sudden adrenaline rush although that could be such a betrayal to your brother from two people he trusted, his sister and his best friend.

with the sudden tension between you two and summer break starting, having a small fun can't possibly go wrong, _right_?

just a summer fling can't possibly be more than just a summer fling, and your friends were telling you to let loose, this could be your chance. 

if jay was down for it and you were, as long as you both are being discreet enough, not a single soul knowing about it besides the two of you (and maybe your friends), nothing can go wrong.

"we're gonna head out for a moment, it's been awhile— we'll probably go around the town for a few hours," sunghoon tells your mother as he picks up the car keys with jake hot on his trail. 

"we'll be back before dinner, mrs.park!" jake agrees along with his friend, giving your parents his sweet cheshire cat smile. 

your parents could never not give in, especially when it comes to jake. how could they not, especially when the boys are finally back after a long time, they deserved to have some fun.

"alright i guess," she says before pointing at the jake and sunghoon. "be back home before dinner, you promised and be safe, boys." 

nodding like a bobbleheads, jake and sunghoon giving each other high-fives, they rush out the door. 

"dude, let's go!" 

you glance at jay, seeing him give a small bow at your parents before looking back at you and leaving with his friends to whatever mess they're about to create. 

the look he gave put few thoughts into your head, one being the one-million dollar question; 

he can be your summer fling, right?_

HOURS HAS passed by and your brother and his friends were still not home yet, although it was inching closer to dinner time in a few minutes. 

even your friends had stopped for 'checking on you' when in reality they were actually just here to catch a glimpse of the 02z. just too bad, their timing was wrong. 

helping your mom with taking the dishes to the dining table, as soon as you place it down on the table, the front door opens and you hear shuffling down the hallway. 

"we're home!" 

sunghoon enters the kitchen first, and immediately sits down at the table but your mom slaps his hands when he reaches for the food.

"AH!" 

"has college ruined your manners? go wash your hands, sunghoon!" your mom glare at him, immediately making him get up, sulking as he disappears into the kitchen to wash his hands. 

you stifle your laugh when you follow him into the kitchen to get more plates. 

"i'll knock off your teeth, stop laughing." sunghoon scowls, glaring at you in annoyance. 

sibling fights used to be the one thing you dreaded the most, but when sunghoon was away, it was the thing you missed the most although you had your peace. 

"yeah yeah as if hoon," you stick out your tongue at him. "how do you have no manners in your fossil age?" 

without a warning, sunghoon flicks off the water from his wet hands into your face making you shriek in surprise— and well, now your skin damp.

"PARK SUNGHOON!" you scream, taking water into your hands and flicking it on to him. 

"Y/N WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" he whines back, and chases you around the kitchen to flick more water onto you. 

you're both fully drenched by the time your mother heads into the kitchen at the sudden commotion and screaming. 

"are you both serious right now?" she sighs loudly, slamming her hand against the cabinet on her left, stopping you both in tracks. 

"you both need to grow up, are you guys seriously gonna fight? sunghoon you're an adult, y/n you're old enough to think!" 

you stare silently at your mom, suddenly feeling embarrassed when jake peeks his head into the kitchen, behind your mom. 

"she started it first, you're always blaming me…" sunghoon trails off making you gasp at his audacity to blame you. 

"me?! he's lying, mom!" 

"both of you cut it out, i don't want to hear anything— get changed i don't want to see you both drenched AND CLEAN THIS MESS!" she scoffs, glaring at the both of you and then leaving the kitchen to attend to the guests. 

you both stand in silence before bursting out into laughter. 

"you're so annoying, gosh." sunghoon chuckles, as he kneels down to wipe the wet patches on the floor from flicking water at you earlier. 

"if anything you're the annoying one here, hoon." you retort back, chuckling when you kneel down next to him. 

you both clean up the mess in silence, before one of you speak up again. 

"i missed this," 

you look up at sunghoon and see him smiling at you softly. "the saying, you don't miss something until you can't have it anymore, it's true." 

"i was really homesick most of the time more than i was having fun back there— sure partying was always my thing, but i missed two among the most important things in my life." he continues but halts his actions when he  looks at you. 

you hum at him to go on, with a small smile.

"home and racing." 

"why was i expecting you to say it was me or something?" you snort, shaking your head a sunghoon being dramatic. 

"are you not my home, y/n?" 

you pause, looking at sunghoon whose face is now flustered, and eyes slightly glossy. 

"sunghoon," 

"i missed my sister the most, you know you mean the world to me more than anything— family will always come first to me." 

you stay silent, letting sunghoon pull you into a hug, and sigh. 

sunghoon was barely the one to express his affection towards you in this brother and sister relationship, it had always been you. 

so seeing sunghoon breakdown from being homesick after being away, you realize that the empty spot in your heart is filled the moment you fall into sunghoon's arms. 

it's so reassuringly comforting that when teardrops falling from your eyes surprised you. 

"i missed you too, hoon." you whisper, and close your eyes, letting the hug make up for all the moments you stood in front of his room when he was away, hoping he'd be behind it, waiting to yell at you for disturbing him. 

or when the days you'd come back home to a empty house when your parents were frequently out of town for business, you secretly hoped the house would've been filled with random people from school with sunghoon in the kitchen or upstairs chugging down his beer from beer pong, ready to be yelled at you for holding a party when you needed to study for s test you'd ace regardless. 

"we look so dumb right now." sunghoon laughs, pulling away from you and rubs his eyes and sticky cheeks from the tears. 

"it's alright, we're dumb and dumber." you say, chuckling when sunghoon agrues that he's just dumb and you're dumber. 

whatever that made him happy you figured. 

after cleaning up the mess and catching up, your mom was already scolding you guys for missing out on the entire dinner which resulted to you and sunghoon having a late night dinner as you both catched up on each others lives while the rest were already in their designated rooms for the night. 

when you slipped into bed that night, there was a lingering guilt feeling in your chest after the interaction with jay from the day and sunghoon's confession from earlier. 

sunghoon said you were one of the most important people in his life, and if you were to betray him and his trust, you'd never forgive yourself for it. 

but liking someone isn't a crime, if you were attracted to jay and if you were to have a fling with him regardless, there was nothing you could do about it

to say the least, you were lost in confusion and absolutely clueless before you drifted off into your slumber.

MAYBE SPRING was a better season compared to summer because you were drenched in sweat the second you stepped out of your house just to wait for wooyoung to pick you up. 

you and your friends finally decided to make plans for the first week of summer. ever since that night, you and the 02z barely met apart from seeing each other for a few seconds in the morning, so you figured they were busy for the time being, hence hanging out with your friends seemed to be much of an better idea than just staying home and rewatching the same series you've been watching for months now. 

but now that you're practically damp and sticky, staying home didn't seem much of a bad idea anymore. before you could head in, the familiar red mercedes stops in front of your yard, honking at you. 

"i can see you're here, there was absolutely no reason to honk, woo." you say, rolling your eyes when he winks at you. 

"my baby sounds hot when he's talking," wooyoung says when you close the door after getting in. 

you hear karina and seeun gag at wooyoung's over exaggeration about his car. 

"it's about fucking time you're finally obsessed with something that isn't choi san." seeun says without batting an eye at wooyoung as she continues to scroll on her phone. 

the silence wooyoung gave was loud enough to make the three of you look at him and gasp. 

"don't tell me….." 

"why else would i want to volunteer to take you guys to the pool party choi yeonjun is hosting?" he asks, leaning his arm on the armrest and puckering his lips out. 

"CHOI YEONJUN?" karina shrieks, well practically screams at the name of her crush being mentioned. 

seeun gives her a sigh, mentally regretting what she agreed to when wooyoung had texted in the group chat earlier if anyone wanted to hang out at a pool party. 

she thought he meant a personal one where it was just them, the thought of wooyoung taking his friends to a pool party where his crush was definitely not on her thoughts radar. 

"okay so we're going to a pool party hosted by choi yeonjun?" you ask as you take off your sunnies and point it at wooyoung. 

he nods. 

"see you guys tomorrow, i'm leaving!" you chuckle and turn around to leave but wooyoung is quick to lock the doors. you attempt to open it again but seeun sighing loudly again just made you give up. 

"y/n, don't be a party pooper!" 

"wooyoung do you not know how much trouble i can get into if sunghoon finds out?" you whine loudly, and let your head hit against the cool leather seat you're on. 

"it's about time you stop walking on eggshells around your brother," he says, and you give him a glare. 

"and—" he stops you before you could argue further, "i heard your brother and his friends are there so, it's probably not a big deal. maybe yeonjun and your brother are finally civil again or not why else would he be there?" 

wooyoung's right but your gut tells you to not trust him, he's always the root of the problem when the rest of you get into a mess. so speaking from you experience you don't want to trust him, but the sudden reminder that jay would be there somehow makes you cave in. 

besides, you did see the boys leaving a few hours prior to this in summer wear, so wooyoung also isn't wrong. 

karina gives you her pleading eyes and you sigh, nodding after a while. 

the two cheers while you and seeun sigh in worry and bored. 

you don't know what you signed up for, but you have a feeling it's about to be eventful for sure.

PEOPLE LEARN FROM THEIR mistakes all the time, some do after committing mistakes once more and some don't at all. you and your friends belong in the last category as for now and as long as you guys continue to be friends with jung wooyoung. 

trusting wooyoung was always a bad idea, even when it came to skipping out on classes, it was always the three of you getting caught and woyoung somehow getting away or when you accidentally got wasted as fuck and got an earful from your parents while wooyoung stayed back like a cat after being the one who brought you into the mess.

even if you guys ever managed to not get into a trouble it was by sheer luck and once in a blue moon.

however, now wasn't any different either— you, karina and seeun are contemplating on why did you guys think trusting wooyoung when he said a bomb ass pool party that's hosted by choi yeonjun was a good idea. 

the four of you stood stranded in the middle of the party house, glaring at wooyoung after he 'found out' that it wasn't actually choi yeonjun hosting the pool party, it was actually some other kid with a choi too— him mishearing now has lead to the four of you to be clueless in a random stranger's house pool party. 

"what do we do now?" you ask and receive no responses back except for karina still looking around hoping for a choi yeonjun to show up, wooyoung bored out of his mind and seeun being emotionless and annoyed. 

this wasn't what you would see at a pool party but your friend group has issues. 

"oh my," 

the three of you turn towards karina who's gawking at the backyard with her jaw slacked on her floor. 

"what?"

"oh my god y/n the 02z are here!" 

"what?" you shriek. you did expect something from karina but that definitely was not it. wooyoung gasps when he sees jake entering the house, wet and damp head to toe, like he had just come out from the pool. 

by the obvious looks of it, he definitely did— water trailing down his toned chest and his blonde but now light brown hair sticking to his forehead. from the opposite of the room, with everyone's eyes on him, his gaze meets yours. 

jake smiles when he sees you and immediately strides over as he continues to wipe his hair with the towel in his hand. 

"yo y/n, didn't know you were coming!"

"oh, uh me too." you laugh awkwardly, glancing at wooyoung who just gave you a small smirk before you looked back at jake again. "we just happened to be here, by mistake." 

jake just laughs in response as he looks at you, while karina is staring at him with two big hearts popped out of her eye sockets. 

"don't know what you mean but hope you guys have fun," he says, and looks around at your friend group. "i'm gonna go hop in the shower, see you around, yeah?" 

"yeah, cool, bye!" you wave at him and immediately turn back to your friends. 

"y/n be honest, do your brother's friends get a free pass to you that others don't?" 

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you shriek at the sudden comment by wooyoung who's giving you the most mischievous shit-eating grin ever.

"you know, like, does jake sim have the hots for you or something because he could not stop staring at you, the whole entire time he was here." 

karina gasps, agreeing along with wooyoung as if she wasn't drooling at the sight of a shirtless, wet glistering jake sim which she probably could have developed a crush on a while ago. 

"karina i thought you were better than this, why are you even agreeing with whatever nonsense wooyoung just brews?" you ask, and scrunch your nose in disbelief when she sighs and reasons. 

"wooyoung is not wrong, the entire time i was staring at him, his eyes did not leave yours and those skimpy shorts of yours," she says, giggling at the way your face reddened. 

"you made a good choice today, love the shorts babe." 

you sigh disappointedly at your friends' delusions, "i hope i never hear that again because one, it's not true." 

"and two, on the worst case scenario— sunghoon will murder jake," you pause and point at yourself with your thumb facing tour way. "and me." 

karina sighs exasperatedly, "how is it any of your brother's business if you get bitches or not?" 

"yeah like at this rate your life companion is about to be your right hand flicking the bean, and you'll die a bitchless virgin." 

wooyoung nods, and gives you a mocking pout. 

"that's the worst that can happen to you, y/n. we mean it." he says, scanning your stunned state. 

"you guys worry too much about her, she's a grown woman that can fend for herself, neither you guys or her brother should even be this controlling and way too worried for her." 

the three of you look toward seeun who finally spoke up and staring back clearly annoyed which makes wooyoung scoff obnoxiously loud, as if it was on purpose. 

"forget about y/n for a second," he pauses for an instant. "what's up with you all day, all up in your feels and shit?" 

seeun furrows her eyebrows, confused why wooyoung was suddenly up her ass with an annoying question. 

but before she could retort back at wooyoung, you cut her off. "i think we should chill!" 

"yeah yeah! y/n, let's go by the pool!" karina cheers, grabbing you by the first and dragging you away from the two annoyed hotheads. 

"wooyoung's right though, seeun hasn't been in the best mood all day. she's been sighing and sulking," karina says as you follow her , hot on her trail. 

when you don't say anything and just hum, karina continues on, "especially when jake was eye fucking you earlier—" 

"he wasn't eye fucking me!" you gasp at her illicit way of expressing jake looking at you as he spoke, it was proper speaking courtesy (or perhaps your friends were right and you just didn't notice it!). 

karina gave you a lopsided smile and then continued as you caught up to her by her side while you guys made your way out of the sweaty bodies in the crowd.

"i was saying, especially when he was 'looking' at you earlier," she says, "seeun was literally shooting daggers at him." 

"are you serious?" you ask her, chuckling at the way she was over exaggerating it. maybe seeun is on the time of the month and wasn't feeling too well, or perhaps she didn't enjoy jake interrupting you four.

karina shakes her head at you, denying. 

"my gut and rina instincts says that……" she trails off with her index finger tapping into her chin while she pretends to think knowing damn well the answer is already in her head. 

"just say it!" 

"that seeun got jealous because jake was talking to you and not her!" 

you halt your steps, immediately tugging karina back due to you two holding hands and you stare at her, completely stunned. 

"i don't know if your speciality is being dense or— there's no way in hell that's possible," you say to karina, shaking your head at her statement. 

"what do you mean? you know she's always hyped when 02z hold parties and— and… you know!" karina whines, trying to justify her guess but she only gives it up when you laugh. 

"although you and i both know that's not true— but if it's actually true, then good for her, i'll keep my limits with jake for her sake, if that helps." you say and walk away last karina when you spot a vacant beach lounge. 

karina's instincts tingle again, but this time it indicates something's wrong, nevertheless she just pushes it to the back of her mind and heads over to you, deciding that minding her own business as of now seemed like a better option. 

as soon as you both settle down, you take off your clothes and now, in your bathing suit, ready to sunbathe due to the weather being just perfect for it. 

you turn to ask karina to give the sunblock moisturizer, but she's already somehow dozed off with a book on top of her face, covering her sleeping state. 

sighing, you pick it up yourself and sit back down to apply it on, but just as you were about to, your attention is caught by a person at the opposite of you in the pool, surrounded by a flock of girls. 

although you're sitting on the chair, you couldn't help but feel your knees weak when you see his skin glistering under the sun from the water and his hair just slicked back, a few strands sticking onto his forehead just like jake from before. 

jay's gaze remains on you despite the girls practically pushing themselves on him and you weren't going to lie, that definitely gave you quite an ego boost and made you feel some type of way. 

as if he's only focused on you even if the most charming girl wants him.

lips curling up into a smirk, you let out a breathy laugh when one of the girls slides her hand up his chest, pulling him onto her shoulder, like a hug but she's practically lying on him. 

nevertheless the gaze of the boy doesn't leave yours and somehow you feel like you're entitled to retort back, in a way.

two can play at this game, for sure. 

squirting the liquid from the bottle, you drop the bottle and spread the liquid on your skin, all while making sure you're doing it in the most sensual way possible. applying the moisture on your legs, slowly while remaining eye contact with him and a growing smirk in your face. 

what you didn't expect out of that action is for jay to push off the girls and swim his way towards you. that's was quick, you thought and pushed your hair forward onto your right side. 

"what do you think you're doing?" is the first thing he says and your smirk is immediately replaced with a scowl. 

"well, hello to you too jay!" you scoff, though that doesn't really seem to phase jay. 

"you're not answering my question," he says, leaning into the tiles and squinting his eyes at you. if he definitely wasn't being rudely annoying, you would've gave him a compliment or two because holy hell, was this boy fine as fuck.

"a—" 

"i asked what do you think you're doing?" he asks, cutting you off. you're starting to wonder if he had always been this annoying before. 

too bad as far as you could, he wasn't even this rude before, jay seemed to have a knack for it now. college must've changed him.

"why does it matter to you what i do?" you ask, rolling your eyes at him. jay glares at you sharply before, he jabs his tongue against his inner cheek. 

truth to be told, your heart wasn't the only thing pulsing. 

"well it does. don't do that again, especially to just anyone, y/n, im serious." he says, getting out from the pool with water just dripping down his body and it was truly taking everything in you to not gawk at him, shamelessly. 

"and i'm serious jay, there's nothing wrong with what happened, i was just applying sunscreen." you justify with the growing smile in your face that makes jay snap. 

"just applying sunscreen?" he asks, even copying the tone you used. "i don't think so y/n, looks like you were trying to do something else there."

"huh, really? and what would that be then?" you ask, gasping at the end to add a little bit of attitude as you laid back in your chair, looking up at him. 

"are you kidding me right now?" 

"oh, no! i'm not, why would i?" you gasp, faking a shock in surprise when he asks you the obvious. "i mean, you said i was trying to do something else and i have no idea what i was trying to do like you said, so please, enlighten me, jay?" 

jay bends down, leaning over close to you so he's on the same eye level as you. pressing down on your thigh, making your stomach do flips, he sighs. 

"don't press my buttons, y/n, i know what you're trying to do, don't." he says, with a small nonchalant smirk. 

"w—" 

"y/n." you never knew your name sounded so good before, and jay saying it has you tongue tied.

 "you'll tempt me too then." 

if that didn't leave you speechless, you certainly don't know what would and with that being plastered on your entire face, jay's smirk grows bigger and he just walks off, leaving you flustered. 

"f-fuck." you breathe out, bringing your hand to your face to feel so hot it was getting. your face was hotter than the weather itself, and that spoke for itself. 

when you got back home, you were glad the boys weren't back yet because you didn't know what to do if you ever saw jay again. you just didn't know how to react if you saw him again and the only thing that'll flash through your mind is the scene from the pool party before. 

how could something so meaningless like that affect you this much? you didn't know the answer yourself. 

after escaping from your friends, jay, your brother and coming back home, you just rushed to take shower and shut yourself in your room. 

only after a few hours did the boys finally come back home and you made sure to avoid jay every way possible, though you were already locking yourself inside your room. 

and the scene from the pool earlier just couldn't stop playing in your head like a broken cassette tape. 

like what the fuck was "you'll tempt me too then," even meant, because that was something that definitely had thinking about all night, not a single blink of sleep did you have tonight. 

you glance over at the clock on your nightstand for the 100th time tonight, showing it's just past three a.m. and your stomach starts rumbling. 

you missed dinner from trying to hide from jay, though your mom insisted on sending it to you upstairs, you figured you'd be fine just missing one meal. seems like it's not. 

slipping out of your sheets, you walked out of bed and headed downstairs when you were sure it was pitch black and eerie silent in the dark hours of the night. you see all the rooms were closed so that probably meant everyone was asleep, at least you hope they were. 

cause as soon as you walked into the kitchen, your soul almost left your body when you see a tall figure leaning against the cabinets, scrolling through his phone. 

"oh my fucking god," you gasp, holding onto your chest as your other hand flicks on the light switch, revealing jay looking at you with his eyebrows furrowed. "you scared me!" 

no reaction is on his face even when you approach him with another gasp from staring at his forehead. 

"were you at the tracks? what happened!" shrieking, you move his hand out of the way and examine the wound on his head. it was a cut, but it looked like it wasn't treated yet, that would lead to an infection. 

when he doesn't answer even when you move back, you gasp, once more time. 

"did you get into a fight?!" 

"it wasn't a fight, y/n." he replies, and puts his palm against the wound to hide it but only winces in pain when his hand makes contact with the wound. 

"then what the hell happened?" 

"why are you worrying?" he asks, shutting his phone off and placing it on the table, right next to you and turns his focus into you. 

you should be asking yourself the same question too, why exactly are you worried about him. sure you should worry, but worrying in this way, that wasn't necessary. 

but you still find yourself worrying as soon as you see the wound in his pretty face though you can just go on with your day, just gasping at first sight, telling him to treat it and a get well soon, would've been fine but— worrying up close, doesn't seem like what a normal person would do. 

"i'm not worrying! but the wound isn't treated, it can turn out worse, jay." you say, and turn around to go take the first aid kit but a hand wrapping around your arm pulls you back. 

"there's no need for that, it's just a minor injury." 

"did you get into a fight? there's no way a minor injury can look like this?" you ask him, looking up at his wound then back to his face. it annoys you that he's looking at you with a relaxed smile because you would be crying your ass out for that shit hurting like hell. 

"no— no, not a fight, again." he says, and lets go of your arm. "i just kind of fell," 

"fell?!" 

"y/n, it's not that deep, i'm fine." he says, stopping you from saying anything more. "really— and you said you're not worrying, to me this definitely looks like you're worrying." 

your mouth opens and closes when no words seem to come out of it, immediately embarrassing yourself. you hate yourself for getting easily flustered by him. 

you move away and awkwardly look away, avoiding his gaze that's burning into your back. you can practically feel his eyes on your entire body, and damn right you just had to wear the most skin showing nightwear. 

"what are you so late for?" he asks, breaking the tense atmosphere created in so little time. you turn around to look at him, and he's leaning against the counter, now with his elbows propped up as he looks at you. 

does this man know how fine he is?

"couldn't sleep," you replied and then remembered the reason why you even came downstairs in the first place. 

you walk past him to the opposite side of the kitchen, and tiptoe to reach the upper shelf to get the ramen packet you hid just a few days ago, from sunghoon just in case he tries to steal it all. 

too bad, that didn't end well for you because now you're struggling to reach the upper part of the cabinet and the fact jay is just watching you was making you embarrassed. 

you're not short— you have the average height for every teen your age, it's just the cabinet in the house is just way too high for you. and right now just had to be when your little stool is missing. 

jay is trying so hard to not stare at the way your thighs just keep on showing from how your dress is riding up each time you tiptoe more to reach the upper shelf. 

pushing himself off the counter, he strides to you and opens the cabinet above you catching you off the guard. his back against yours, and your back against his, you almost passed out at the feeling of his toned chest against your back the only thing separating your bodies are the thin clothings of yours and his. 

grabbing the packet, he doesn't move back yet instead he places the packet next to you, on the table making sure his skin is on yours as he places it down. it's making you light-headed, he knows what's he doing and you're liking it. 

"you could've just asked for help if you needed it." he says, but almost like an whisper to how close he is next to you. 

turning around, his arms traps you in between both arms on each side. the height difference was killing you but the way you're both looking at each other, it's filled with so much of tension. 

but two can play at this game, right? again. 

your lips turn upwards into a smile and your widened pupils turn into lazier ones, battling your eyelashes at him from underneath. you trail your hand up his firm chest, the ones that were on your back earlier.

and you lean closer, "very thoughtful of you," you say, smiling. "thank you, jay." 

with that, you push him aside and take the ramyeon packet with you to the stove area, leaving him completely flustered this time. if he thinks he can play you, you've done this million times before, you're definitely a pro. 

a scoff leaves jay before he crosses his arms and goes back to the counter and takes a seat on the lined up stools. 

just right before you put the noodles into the water in the pot, under the fire, you turn around to look back at the boy looking just right at you. 

"do you want to have ramyeon with me?" 

very crucial question that holds various of meanings. 

"sure—" 

"only on one condition." you cut him off. "get that wound treated." 

jay looks at you for a second and then takes off the leather jacket he has on. before replying, his lips curve into a smile as well.

"okay." 

A WOMAN AND A MAN eating ramyeon meant two things as far as you were concerned. one, just two normal friends or mutuals having a talk over ramyeon, just a simple thing!

another is two people on a date because person a asking person b to eat ramyeon with them means they're asking the other out, and if they say yes, then they're both going out. 

but what happened when you asked jay to eat ramyeon with him was really neither. because one, you're both not friends, nor are you two mutuals. you're both just— unlabeled, cause you both do not act like you're just friends. 

friends don't say things that keep them awake the entire night thinking about it, friends don't make each other feel things, giddy, and get butterflies. friends certainly don't just lean up to each other and flirt tremendously. 

jay is just your brother's best friend and you are just jay's best friend's sister. 

nothing more or nothing less, and that was killing you. 

the night you both are ramyeon together, nothing much even happened after that though you were secretly hoping for something to happen. 

apart from you both having a mild conversation on how life was after being away from home for college and how's senior life, nothing even happened. not even skinship, that's how it was. 

when you asked jay about his social life and dating stuffs, everything he replied seemed so new. you were expecting some type of 'oh nothing new, just sunghoon type of shit'. 

but instead you were stunned by his replies. 

" so how's college life? sunghoon hasn't mentioned any girlfriend yet," you ask, ignoring the small pang at the mention of jay having a girlfriend. sometimes you just be doing the damage to yourself.

"oh, well— i'm really not into that anymore." 

"you're gay?!" 

"y/n, no?" jay laughs at your sudden outburst, wishing he could capture the moment when your face is already puffy and the noodles halfway stopped between your pouty lips as you stare at him with big eyes. "i'm not gay, i'm just not interested in commitments at the moment." 

"oh," 

"why? are you disappointed?" 

"what? that you're not gay?" 

"no, that i'm not committed." 

"why would i be disappointed about that?" you laugh, waving him off and continue chewing on the noodles. 

but his next question makes you choke. 

"so you're glad i'm not seeing anyone?" 

"WHAT! YOU'RE JUST PUTTING WORDS INTO MY MOUTH!" 

jay laughs out loud but you smack the table and he lowers down his wheezing, to the point where he almost falls from the chair he's sitting on. 

"it's not funny, stop making fun of me." 

"okay, okay." 

"so, then you're not into dating and stuff and all?" you ask him, deciding to snoop in more. 

"not exactly, i just— don't want to date the wrong person, if that person is not who i want to spend my everything with then dating them is really not worth the time, though college is the time of your life where you just go crazy and have fun because you'll never experience the same thing again but to me, i want this part of my life to be as meaningful as the rest, so i want the right person to do it with." 

"did you steal that off a movie?" 

"y/n." 

"geez i was joking— but uh wow, that's great. i hope you get what you want, and be happy." 

"thanks," 

"so you're also saying your only partner at the moment is your hand?" 

"Y/N!" 

"WHAT IM JUST ASKING?" 

"why do you want to know about that!" 

"because you said you're not in—" 

"that doesn't mean i don't get laid now or then?" 

"oh i see….." 

"i have my fair amount of one night stands and you know.. but, i meant romantically when i meant committed." 

"wait so—" 

jay stuffs the poached egg into your mouth right when you open it to speak. your words become muffled and his giggles at you getting angrily cute, according to him!

"no more questions unless you want to get your little crush on me gone."

whatever jay was thinking when he said that night definitely has succeeded into having him invade your mind and staying there, rent free. he hasn't left your mind ever since, even when you're hanging out with your friends all you can think of is him. 

if you haven't realized it by now, jay has a charm for making girls starstruck on him. maybe now you can relate to all those girls that literally look at him with big heart eyes. 

"y/n!" seeun shoves your shoulder, snapping you out of your dilemma. 

"ah yes, you were saying?" 

"were you not listening?" 

you look away, remaining silent and seeun just sighs really loud. 

"you've been distracted ever since i came here!" she says, sulking into her seat and you turn to look at her. 

"i'm sorry, i just— something's on my mind and i can't get it out.." you trail off, pouting at her in an attempt to make her stop sulking. 

"so what is it?" 

"what's what?" 

"what's got you thinking like that, that you can't get it out of your mind?" 

seeun's question has you sighing as you fall back onto your bed. "im in confusion." 

"what's the confusion you're in?" she asks, leaning forward, eyebrows furrowed. 

"i think i'm attracted to jay, and i think I want him to be the summer fling i mentioned." when summer started, and when you guys all went on break, you and the rest had a conversation about

"what? y/n, what?" 

"i said i think i'm attracted to jay and i want him to be the summer fling." 

"are you serious right now?" 

"yeah? you already know i'm barely ever interested in anyone else and jay seems to be the only guy that has me feeling stuff and it's summer, like you said, a summer fling. he's a perfect candidate for that." 

"no y/n, why jay?" seeun asks, with a weird tone in her question that doesn't sit right with you for some reason. 

"why not jay?" you ask her, furrowing your eyebrows, confused as why it can't be jay. 

"you know better than anyone else that anyone related to your brother and his friends, or even his friends, is seriously bad news." she reasons. "jay is bad news, y/n, you know it." 

"at least he isn't as bad as hoon and jake, seeun…" 

"men are men, y/n. you know how they play girls, especially the 02z, things do not end well at all." 

"seeun i don't even like him romantically so i don't know what isn't going to 'not end well'." you say, shrugging. 

"sooner or later you will y/n, I'm warning you now, there's plenty of other people that can be your summer fling why does it have to be park jay?" she asks, shaking her head at you trying to justify your choice. 

"i won't seeun, i know it. it's just summer, it'll be over before you know it, and i'll be going to college after that, it could be great to get any experience before that too— and jay, doesn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all." 

"y/n…." 

"seeun! it's gonna be fine, you know how i am— why don't you trust me with this? you guys told me to let loose and have fun!" 

seeun sighs, knowing she can't talk you out of this especially when you're already hard on your summer fling being jay. she just doesn't get why it has to be him. 

"it's that i don't trust you, i just don't trust him." 

you chuckle at her, placing your hand on hers, and give her a reassuring smile. 

"just— just don't get into any trouble and when the damage is done, don't say i didn't say so…." 

after the talk with seeun, you both ended up just watching a movie and when dinner time came around, seeun left before the boys got back home. you didn't understand why she was so worked up over you wanting to have a summer fling with jay, although she was the most hyped when the news of the boys being back in town was mentioned. 

you figured it's probably because she's worried that you wouldn't be having much time to spend with the rest during the break because you'd be with jay— that seemed to be the only logical reason as to why she reacted like that earlier.

"you smell like tar, and smoke." 

sunghoon scrunches up his nose at the smell radiating off his clothes when he brought his jacket near his nose at your comment. 

"oh, i do." he coughs, shaking his head. 

"go and shower, it stinks!" you groan, pushing him towards the stairs when he threatens to come near you. "we can watch a movie after dinner!" 

"you can't bail out okay? I don't want to hear that you're sleepy—" 

"yes sunghoon, yes okay! just get rid of the smell!" you sigh, and he finally leaves without any other argument. you guess they might have been at the racing track from the smell and how exhausted they looked. 

as soon as they all got back, jake and jay rushed upstairs to shower and get ready for dinner while as sunghoon lingered around the kitchen where your mom and you were complaining that he smelt like tar and smoke. 

it always surprised you how your mom was okay with sunghoon racing, although it's dangerous and not safe at all. perhaps maybe because your dad used to be a racer back when he was in his young adult phase before he tied the knot with your mom and then decided to become an engineer.

you guess maybe your mom thinks he could turn out like your dad, that racing is just a phase in his life before he figured out that it's just a waste of time that he has potential for something else. 

you don't know, but whenever sunghoon does racing, your anxiety is always through the roof, hoping he comes back home safe and sound, not a single scratch on his body although that was impossible. accidents always came along with racing, this always gave you and your parents the scare of their lives. 

"let's eat!" your mother chirps, calling you to the table as soon as the boys get back downstairs to eat. 

dinner went by pretty much fine, except for the most parts you and jay's stares just couldn't leave each other, not that anyone noticed. everyone was too engulfed in your mother's cooking and the conversation going on to care about sunghoon's little sister and his best friend stealing glances too often..

"i'll pick the movie!" sunghoon says, rushing to the living room as soon as everyone's done with dinner. you help your mom with the dishes along with jake while jay and sunghoon went over to pick a movie. 

your parents excused themselves, saying they were too tired to join you guys for movie time, which you guys didn't mind at all. if anything, you guys preferred it that way. 

sunghoon ended up picking a basic rom-com,, he reasoned his choice with how this girl he hooked up with would not stop talking about the show, so he wanted to see what's the hype with it. 

you, jay and jake just agreed with his choice knowing if you guys were to disagree there wouldn't be any other choices to pick from. jake takes the longer couch, laying down almost immediately after winning a scissor, paper, stone with sunghoon. 

your brother sprawls out on the floor, with his blanket wrapped around his body and about four pillows surrounding him, including the one under his head too. 

that leaves you and jay, standing awkwardly having to choose but to settle down on the smaller yet regular couch. the couch isn't too bad, you can fall asleep on it, the only downside (pro)  about it is the limited space. 

it's like the couch is perfectly built for two people squished up together. you just sigh quietly and take a seat on one end while jay takes a seat on the other end. you two don't say anything for the most part when the movie starts. 

the basic storyline of the movie already has you zoning out, and staring at other objects around the living room halfway into the movie. when you turn to your right you see jay's side profile, and you're starstruck. 

you've seen his side profile before but the view you have now is just astonishing. somehow under the dim light of the living room, the only source of light coming from the large hd smart TV in your living room, he looks gorgeous to say the least. 

you notice his faint birthmark on his neck, realising how pretty and how perfect it described him. his relaxed yet clenched jaw from focusing on the movie you find yourself smiling at how pretty he looked with his hair down.

"is it interesting?" 

you blink and jay's looking at you with a small smirk as he leans in to whisper-ask you. 

"huh?" 

"you don't seem to find the movie much more interesting compared to my face," 

"uh— what, i wasn't looking," you say, clearing your throat from being caught red handed. "i just happened to turn to my right side and…" 

"and?" 

"and.. nothing, why are you staring at me?" you ask, turning to face him. 

"me? staring at you?"

"yeah, how would you know i'm staring at you then?" 

"what? i just felt like someone was staring, i turned and loo—"

"see? you were looking!" 

the two of you are stopped by a sleepy jake who groans at the two of you quarreling. 

"if you guys are going to argue, keep it down a little…." he slurs before falling back onto the couch and snoring away in his sleep. 

jay sighs at his friend and then turns back his attention to the TV while you're left looking between jay and a sleeping jake. guessing he's probably past the argument seeing that his eyes are glued to the tv, you just decided to do the same, continue watching the show although your mind was all about jay. 

however as soon as you turn your attention to the tv, your eyes almost widen at the scene ongoing. it just really had to be a steamy scene, especially with the boy beside you, this is a hard take.

taking your bottom lip under your top teeth, you bite on it when the main leads are practically on top of each other, hands all over each other and you try to hide the flustered smile when the actors make out with each other. 

your mind was going frenzy at the way the scene was unfolding with your things clasped against the other, trying to hold in the feeling pooling in the pit of your stomach. 

something about the scene was making you feel stuff, with the boy next to you, there was no way in your mind you had another image playing. 

all unbeknownst to you that jay was watching all along, a smirk placed on his lips at how you were reacting to the scene. he found it— interesting. 

jay couldn't help but think about how mature you've gotten over the time he's been away with your brother at college. he wonders if you're even into this type of stuff considering how famous you are among boys at school and whenever you go. 

he remembers back to the moment he saw you as soon as you got home on the day they arrived back in town, he couldn't stop looking at you. somehow over the months you had gotten taller, your curves perfectly complemented you, your hair has gotten longer, your voice made him so weak in the knees— everything about you changed. 

you are just so gorgeous now he's baffled everytime he sees you. even when you're in your nightwear, face natural— he can't help but think how beautiful you are.

for the better, you've grown into a pretty woman now and that definitely has a totally big effect on him. 

jay knows he's wrong for even thinking and seeing you that way, especially when your brother has been his lifelong best friend, so the betrayment sunghoon would feel if he ever found how jay thinks of you would be awful.

but something in him just can't stop seeing you that way, he's been seeing you as the y/n rather than sunghoon's little sister for the longest time ever.

"you're really looking at me now." 

jay snaps out of this thoughts at you leaning towards him this time, chuckling at his zoned out expression. 

"what?" 

"you should take a picture, it'll last longer." you say, looking away back to the movie where the heated scene is still going on. you're thanking every deity out there that sunghoon is also passed out because he would freak out and change the show asap, saying how you're too innocent to watch it all and stuff.

you're a virgin, it's true but— it's not like you didn't know anything of that. all the fanfics you stayed up reading played a big part in that.

"oh i wish i can, y/n." jay replies, leaning backwards onto the couch and pushes his lower half forward which makes your grip on your thigh harder. 

god, you just really had to find that attractive. 

and you process what he just said. 

"but my phone is charging, too bad right?" 

another statement that makes your jaw drop, immediately amusing jay. you don't find anything to say, absolutely starstruck at his way of making you speechless. 

it's a talent, really. 

"are you enjoying the movie?" 

i guess, but the movie in my head where the maincast playing that scene is the both of us is so much better though, you wish you could say that, but that can end in two ways. 

him agreeing to make it a reality and him storming off calling you a weirdo for seeing him that way. 

"uh, yeah, i guess so…" you say instead. 

"really? how would you rate it?" you're stunned, you don't know if he's playing with you or not because you're too tongue tied to say anything. 

"what are you so flustered for y/n, i'm just asking what do you think about the movie?" 

"we're not done with the movie yet so i—" you're cut off the guard and halfway when jay all of a sudden leans in so close to you, making you shut your eyes in reflex, thinking he's coming in for a kiss. 

it only takes you a few seconds to realize you're probably the biggest idiot on earth right now when you open your eyes and jay is a few inches away from your lips to collide before he pulls away with something in his hand. 

"i can't hear you over the sound," he smirks, shaking the remote in his hand, knowing damn well he's clearly messing with you. 

you scoff and cover your lips with your palm, shaking your head in disbelief. you really didn't think he wasn't going to kiss you at the speed he came at. 

"were you expecting something else?" 

"what? you're being ridiculous— i'm not!" 

"is that so? then why'd you close your eyes?" 

"i didn't—" 

"you're a bad liar," jay sighs, smiling at you being so restless trying to escape whatever he's trying to trap you into. 

"you're so annoying." you scoff, and push the pillow of your lap and get off the couch. however just before you could take a step further, you're being tugged back by your hand and you fall back onto the couch— not really the couch, you sure fell onto someone, something.

"a—" you slap your hand against your mouth, shielding a loud yelp from escaping your mouth incase you'd wake up your brother and his friend. 

you personally don't think it's a very appropriate and friendly sight for your brother to wake up to his best friend and little sister on top of each other, inches away from their lips colliding. 

"what are—" 

"shh," jay places his index finger on top of your lips and his finger relaxes at the plump flesh of it, so soft and tender. 

you don't say anything except for staying on top of him, with his one arm around your waist, holding you in place and his other against your lips, keeping you silent from waking up the rest when jake starts to move around in his place. 

hearts beating against the cages, you both finally sigh of relief when jake's slight snores are heard again. your head falls against jay's slowly and his eyes flicker up to match yours. 

jay's grip against your waist becomes firm making butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach and if you were being honest, it was turning you on at the hand placement and the sudden change in the atmosphere from playful to something more tense. 

your mouth opens but closes back when you find words to say, to address the situation before you embarrass yourself again though from the way he's looking at you it's making you dizzy. 

"may i touch you?" 

"yes," you breathe out.

"you can close your eyes this time." 

your heart flutters at his words before a smile takes upon your lips and his when your eyes closed shut and you feel jay pull you closer for a kiss.

it was finally happening. 

or was it?

"OH MY GOD!" your eyes snaps open at the sudden scream from a voice that sounded like sunghoon's before you practically fly off the couch and land into the ground with the loudest thud. 

so loud that jake himself jolts awake in shock and you're groaning from the sharp pain in your ass while jay jumps off the couch himself. 

"dude what the fuck!" jake gasps, rubbing his face from the sudden thud and scream. 

sunghoon blinks and looks around, realizing that he woke up the entire living room and perhaps your parents too by the way they're rushing down the stairs, worriedly. 

"are you kids alright?! what was that sound!" your mom shrieks, and her gaze immediately falls onto you who's on the ground, rubbing your ass trying to soothe the pain. 

"y/n?! what happened?" 

you sigh, shaking your head at how fucking embarassing this is. first you think jay was gonna kiss you and you got teased for it when he purposely was messing with you, then you both are actually about to kiss and sunghoon screams like there's no tomorrow in his sleep and then you fall to the floor straight on your ass? 

couldn't get any worse to be honest. 

"oh— uh i accidentally fell…" you trail off, grabbing onto your mom that helps you to get onto the couch. 

"what? did you have a nightmare or something!" 

"no, it's sunghoon!" you scoff, pointing to the bleached haired boy who's clearly still in daze, not completely awake from his slumber. 

"park sunghoon? why did you scream like you were getting robbed!" 

"ah mum…." his voice cracks, rubbing his eyes. "i had a nightmare.." 

"you kids are going to be the death of me one day," your mom sighs, shaking her head at the two of her kids, disappointing her even in the middle of the night. 

at least you were saving both yours and jay's ass, except your ass is currently in pain. 

you look over to jay who's staring back at you with a worried look which makes you sigh. 

gosh, you couldn't even get mad at him— how is it fair for him to look cute in a situation where your ass is busted because of him.

"sorry," he mouths to you and you shake your head, looking away and trying to get up but wince in pain.

your parents eventually told you guys to pack it up for the night and head upstairs to sleep, which you guys abided by. jay was clearly trying to apologize to you, hoping you aren't too hurt because he really wasn't trying to hurt you by pushing you away so hard. 

if only it wasn't for his best friend to wake up from a nightmare, he would've finally bagged the kiss from the girl he's been crushing on for a lifetime. 

rolling into your bed, you couldn't help but place yours finger in your lips, ghosting over the place where jay's lips could've been at. 

if only your brother hadn't woken up from a nightmare, you could've kissed the boy you've been trying to court for the summer. 

THIN LINE, that's what you're on at the moment and you think you might go insane from how things are for you and jay. it shouldn't even be this much of a big deal to you but the opposite is what it seems like. 

after the whole almost kissing and you falling right on your ass fiasco, you don't know if things got better or for the worse between you and the boy you have heart eyes bulging out of your eye sockets for. 

what you can definitely say is, whatever tension you both have between the two of you has only gotten more thicker, and stronger. even the slightest eye contact has you biting on your lips to not get swayed by him, and it's the vice versa for him as well. 

jay's trying to keep his cool whenever he's around you, and especially in front of sunghoon. the guilt in him only has been building up the more he wants you. 

it's a few days into the summer and you've barely gotten it together. even wooyoung has tried to help you by 'just get into a room with him and get freaky!' which you think is totally the entire point of it but you barely even kissed— so that's a miss. 

"no seriously, what are you even going to do then?" wooyoung shrikes shaking your shoulder while you just sigh, letting your head fall forward onto his chest. "i'm starting to think this summer will end and you will move out by the time you even get into his pants." 

"and i'm starting to think you aren't into choi san anymore," 

you push yourself off wooyoung softly to look up at karina who's chewing on her gum as she walks into the living room, with a glass of cold iced water in her hand.

you think you might need one too at this point. 

"that's," wooyoung scoffs, crossing his arms together. "never going to happen. i will get that man and w—" 

"i don't want to hear the rest." karina shoves a new piece of gum into his mouth, shutting him up immediately. wooyoung slaps her hand on his face and rolls his face. 

"so, y/n?" 

you look at the two of them, back and forth as they stare back at you. 

"i don't know!" you whine, falling back onto the couch, next to wooyoung who's chewing on his gum loudly that you wish you had a mute button for. 

"girl if you really don't do anything any time soon, you can just kiss your chance with his goodbye!" karina says, shrugging. "you know how popular jay is here, and girls are practically lined up for him— YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING!" 

you sigh once again, this time looking out the large sliding door which leads outside to the pool and bbq area in your backyard. 

"how do i just go up to him and be like 'hey jay, uhm let's kiss! okay, so now uh do you wanna be my summer fling with no attachments like yes let's fuck around for the entire and not catch feelings because im kinda only attracted to you like in that way but like not being mean but catching feelings isn't going to end well in the long run' is that what you want me to say?" 

karina and wooyoung just blink profusely, utterly in shock at your long ass reply— totally stunned. 

"aren't you lying, what do you mean 'im kinda only attracted to you like in that way' what happened to 'hes the only guy that makes me feel things that other guys don't'?" wooyoung leans forward, putting his index finger up to explain his point.

"yeah, don't you like him already? isn't that why you want to fuck him?" 

"you guys make me sound like a whore." you deadpanned. 

"that's besides the point," karina tsks, shaking her head. "y/n, don't you like him already?" 

"i don't." you actually don't know, you think you don't. feeling stuff like these is common when you're attracted to someone, it doesn't specifically have to be romantically. although somewhere in you is saying you're wrong for that.

wooyoung gives karina a look when you deny her question. "so what, are you gonna like him or something?" 

"no," you pause. "i won't, yeah i won't like him in that way. i told you guys, catching feelings for him is not going to end well in the long run." 

"when summer is over, leaving is going to be really bad for us, if we catch feelings for each other— and i don't want that mess, so no." 

wooyoung shakes his head, unsure of you. he knows you're not the type to catch feelings so easily and commit, in fact, you don't ever date anyone. the last time you dated someone it was in eight grade and it only lasted for a matter of time until park sunghoon found out and made you dump him. that's probably where he developed the whole overprotective of my baby sister agenda. 

"okay. if that's what you want, then we won't stop you. but you know, we'll always be here when summer ends and you get your heart broken by accidentally catching feelings for the jay park and having to break off." 

"fuck you that's not going to happen, woo." 

"w—" 

"GUYS." karina stops you both from going into an argument, putting her hands between the two of you. "if y/n is confident she wants this fling without any attachments then let her be so, that's a later thing to worry about. what's important now is," 

"how will you court him?" 

before you could answer her, the front door opens and your brother walks in, taking off his jacket while he's on the phone. 

"alright dude, see you soon."

when he ends the call, you're intrigued by what he's so smiley at. 

"what's the news, you seem to be so happy about it?" you ask, standing up and looking over at your brother whole looks at you with s grin. 

"mom and dad aren't going to be home tonight." 

"and?"

"everyone's about to experience the best party in town after the longest time." 

your jaw drops slack and you stare at him with wide eyes along with the two idiots behind you. 

"you're hosting a party?" 

"yeah. it's gonna be so sick," 

sunghoon says and rushed upstairs in a blink of an eye. karina pulls you around and back onto the couch, a big smile like your brother's on her face. 

"guess what this means?" 

"if san is coming i'm gonna look breedable ton—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" 

"geez okay, so what does this mean?" wooyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at the both of you cutting him hallway about his little fantasy of getting fucked by his crush. 

"it's time to court jay park, y/n." 

"WHAT THE FUCK?" jake gasps, almost dropping his beer in the red solo cup he has his fingers wrapped around. 

sunghoon bursts into laughter at his friend being shocked by the results he got from a random tarot reading that a random kid decided to do for free in exchange of a blunt. the boys don't question why the random carried around a deck of cards however, as long as it was entertaining. 

"dude, why are you so surprised your sex drive is so high? as if you're not self aware?" sunghoon asks, laughing at his friend in utter shock. 

"shut the fuck up bro," he whines, shaking his head trying to beat the allegations that's unfortunately true. 

"god i don't even want to think about it, you must be going at it like fuckin' rabbits!" 

"DUDE SHUT UP!" jake shrieks, standing up from the seat and pushing off sunghoon who seems to be having a hard time with trying to hold back his loud laughter over the music. 

"jay, you're not even gonna defend me?" 

the mentioned boy looks at his friends after taking a sip from the beer in his hand as well. "no, you can't deny what's true, right jake?" 

"you guys suck," he scoffs playfully, and walks off leaving the two to themselves surrounded by wasted people and it hasn't even been two hours since the party started. 

sunghoon laughing finally dies down and he takes a deep breath before taking a sip from his cup too, next to his friend. 

"jake's ridiculous man," he sighs, smiling at the scene from before that makes him chuckle again before jay gives him up and he shuts up. 

"alright fine, i'll stop laughing about it!" sunghoon says, putting his hand up in defense which makes jay shake his head, disappointed when sunghoon slaps his hand against his mouth to hold back a laugh. 

"i gotta tell y/n about this, it's so funny like the way he.." sunghoon's words mix along with the blasting music as jay dazes off into a corner when you're mentioned. 

come to think of it, he hasn't seen you around for the night and to be honest, it made him a little bummed about being at the party where you aren't. don't get him wrong, he loves his friends and all, but just drinking and talking to his friend gets boring overtime. 

he wonders if you're in your room, he didn't see you when he got back home earlier, he figured you're out with your friends. but seeing that there's no sight of you walking into the house from the front door, he thinks you're in your room, preferring to stay away from the crowd. 

"dude, you listening?" 

"ah, yeah, yeah…" jay replies, trailing off when he sees sunghoon raise his eyebrows up, a look he gave when he doesn't believe what the other is saying.

"really, man?" 

"sorry, my bad—" 

"you're so out of it ever since we got back in town," sunghoon says, nudging jay's shoulder. "is this really the effect of no pussy?" 

"hoon," jay whines, leaning his head back hoping his friend would leave him alone about him not getting laid. it's the topic he dreaded the most with his friends. 

"nah man, you really need to get laid. seriously, hasn't it been awhile?" 

"sunghoon—" 

"get laid dude, tonight. this party is a perfect chance, get with anyone seriously, i saw a hot chick just now, she seemed like your type—" 

"do you even know what my type is?" your  sister.

"uh, it doesn't matter dude if she can get the job done then it's not a big deal!" 

"this sounds like it's a talk for jake," jay says, chuckling when he waits for sunghoon to retort back with a laugh but when he gets no response, he leans back forward to see sunghoon, jaw slacked on the floor staring right into the crowd.

oh.

"d—" 

"what's she doing here?" 

jay stares back and forth between his friend and the one and only, first love of his. he didn't know she was going to be here, perhaps she was in town too but if she was gonna be here then the boys would've gotten the news earlier. 

it must've been a last minute plan, he figures. 

"fuck." sunghoon breathes out when the girls walks over him. sunghoon takes a swing on the beer, chugging it all down before hastily shoving the solo cup into jay's hand and gets up. 

he grabs the girl's wrist by her hand and disappears into the crowd somewhere. now jay's alone, one probably deep into a random girl adding numbers to his body count and another reconciling with his first love. 

and jay well, he's stranded alone— actually not, because with his gaze falling on you almost immediately as soon as he spots you, it makes him drop the two cups, beer spilling onto the ground. 

that didn't seem to be his priority when you're making your way towards him now.

"hey," 

"hey," jay says, taking in your presence next to him. sunghoon's right, he's been out of it ever since he got back in town. it wasn't because he wasn't getting laid, it was because of you. 

you're making him feel all sorts of things recently,  all these past he's had nothing but just a crush on you. a crush where you see your crush and it makes you feel all giddy and on cloud 9. but recently, it's something different.

something that makes him want you, so bad that he can't imagine you being someone else's. someone that irks up something in his when he sees you, wanting to push you against the wall and take you just right there. 

"i didn't know you'd be here tonight," 

"is it not my house?" 

"yeah but— you know i didn't mean it that way, obviously it's you—" 

"jay, i'm just messing with you, relax," you giggle, waving your hand at his face and jay thinks it's the prettiest sound he's ever heard. he's so whipped and it isn't going to end well, especially if sunghoon finds out his own friend knowing how he is with guys around his sister. 

jay gives you a smile and gets up from his seat before putting his hand out. 

"let's go get drinks." 

"I just got here!" you whine, leaning back onto the couch and your dress hikes up your thigh, exposing more skin and he looks away, trying to not do the one thing he promised himself to not do.

get hard because of you and it's really hard for him right now because you really just had to wear the prettiest dress showing off all your curves so perfectly, and the way your legs looked in it, god you're making him go crazy. 

"come on," he says, taking your hand in his and pulling you on your feet, you hold onto him with a smile and head over to the kitchen with him. 

the both of you walked into the kitchen and passed through the crowd of people and you were secretly glad you couldn't find sunghoon in sight because he'd so crazy at the sight of you and jay holding hands.

"anything in mind?" 

you shake your head as you look over the drinks on the aisle. most of them were alcohol, and you weren't really that big fan of it. it's just, okay. 

"is coke okay?"

"yeah," 

jay pours coke for you and him, and then hands you the cup. you take a sip from it and the fuzzy feelings send chills down your throat. 

"i like your dress." 

his comment makes your cheeks flushed and your heart skip. right, good thing he did because you spent about hours to find the perfect dress, just for him.

"thank you, jay." 

he gives you a smile, and moves closer. "your hair too, and your eye makeup, it's pretty." 

internally screaming WHAT THE FUCKKKKSNDNFMF while keeping your cool with just blushing crazily if the lights weren't dim, you'd look as red as a tomato. 

"thank you, again, jay." you chuckle, and give him the smile you try to hold back from how flustered he was making you with his compliments..

"you got so pretty over the months, you've always been pretty but, today, you're so gorgeous."

FUCOSKDKF WHYS THRUCOKKKK WHAT IS THE DOINNNGGGGGG GODDDDD FUCKEKKEKFKF WHATHRUCCKKKKSKNEND DIW HE DRUNK IS HE DIRINK HELLOOOO SEND HELSPPPS RIHHT NOWWWWWWWWWW.

"gosh—" you breathe out, giggling as you lean in and place your head on his shoulder, hiding away the really flustered expression you had on. "thank you for the compliments, i appreciate it, jay, really." 

he doesn't say anything except for just chuckling and then drinking his coke. with the last swing of coke, he places the cup down when you're done as well. 

you both just look around in silence, the loud music blasting through the entire house silencing out the chatting in the crowd. 

"do—" you speak up, looking at up. he looks back at you curiously, pupils dilated with his eyebrows furrowed and god, he was making you nervous. "do you wanna go somewhere else?" 

"are you uncomfortable, is eve—" 

"ah, uhm, i just— it's too loud in here, i can't focus on you." 

jay tries to not gasp at your words that make his heart skip and mind go frenzy. 

"oh, uh, sure." he says and you give him a smile before taking his hand in yours, fingers intertwined and pulling him away. your brother was still nowhere in sight and you couldn't thank him enough for that. 

hands in each other, you both go up the stairs and jay figures you're taking him to your room when you make a swift left through the corridor and he's right when you unlock the door to your room. 

he walks in behind you and when you shut the door and lock it, he just stares at you confused. he doesn't have any plans for anything, but it's good if sunghoon just barges in out of nowhere. in his entirety of being sunghoon's best friend and being over at your house, he sure knows sunghoon has a habit for not knocking when he walks into your room.

you turn around to see jay looking over you, with a small smile and a confused look. 

"oh, you should take a seat!" 

you say, and push him towards the edge of your bed by your desk. he takes a seat and you sit infront of him on your chair from your desk.

it's a little awkward at first but jay clears the air by looking around your room. he barely comes in here, it's a restricted zone in your home, sunghoon never allows anyone in here, and you don't allow anyone except for your friends. 

he examines the room and it's not that different from what he had imagined, it just screams you. other than the interiors and your room in white, there's a few decos that attract him attention. the wall of pictures and polaroids of you and your friends and family. 

there's childhood pictures of you and sunghoon on the wall where you both are dressed up as a lion and tiger, smiling brightly at the camera in complete cuteness.

jay smiles at how cute you are and how ridiculous sunghoon looks, if he ever got a hold of this, sunghoon would never hear the end of jay teasing him. 

then he notices a poster— of Jungkook from BTS. and then a few albums stacked under it and a lightstick, then a cooky pillow on your bed. wow, he figures you might be a fan of BTS by the looks of it.

"so, you like jungkook?" 

you look up almost immediately at the mention of the love of your life. "yes?! is that even a question?"

jay smiles at how cute you are when you're so interested in the topic he's discussing. 

"wow, so much?" 

"he's literally my lover, it's a given that i like him that much." you say, giggling as you slump back into your seat. "do you, like him?" 

"i guess you can say so, i have a few of their songs in my playlist," jay says, chuckling when you gasp. "do you have a few suggestions that you think i can add to my playlist?" 

"thanks for asking, i indeed do!" you say, smiling and jay laughs, lensing forward. he pulls the chair closer to the bed catching you by surprise, but you're flustered at how close you both are now, knees against each other and giggling. 

"should we get started then?" you ask, smirking at jay who gives you an ecstatic laugh and then continues to hear you out. 

and you both spent the rest of the night, talking about the things you both enjoy, and find out that you two have a lot in common. the thought of courting him honestly just disappears into the back of your mind, goes forgotten.

by the end of it, jay says he should leave, sunghoon would be finding for him (which he didn't because he was missing), and you heavy heartedly had to say goodbye, and a see you later. 

but before he left you gave him a small peck on his cheek that neither of you expected to happen but the small peck made the entire night for the both of you that even then next morning when your friends were crying why weren't you both deep inches in each other, you couldn't get the blushing away because of the peck. 

"the way these two could have been finally kissing but they were talking about y/n's stupid attraction for jungkook." wooyoung sighs, shaking his head.

you slam his head with a knock that has him screaming back at you for knocking him but you scoff, "fuck you, my love for jungkook is not stupid!" 

"okay can you both calm down—" you cut off karina but give her an attitude as well. 

"you guys shouldn't even be having this tantrum, when you guys promised to show up but y'all weren't even there!"

the rest of them go silent at your statement, clearly making him feel guilty. 

"uhm so anyways!" wooyoung says, putting his hand up. "there's a party tonight, again."

"im not going anywhere—"

"i never said we're going" 

"you were about to rig—" 

"oh my god, you guys need to stop fighting!" seeun yells, putting her hands out to stop both karina and wooyoung fighting. you slump into the couch, shaking your head at your friends. 

"so what now? what are we going to do about her, at this rate summer is gonna end." wooyoung says, shrugging. 

"nothing, i'll figure out something or fuck that— you guys should probably leave, didn't you say you're heading out for dinner?" you ask, looking over at karina. she gasp when she realises it's time for her dinner with her parents, so she hurries out of the door with a goodbye to everyone. 

not long after karina's departure, wooyoung and seeun also leave, bidding you goodbye and leaving you alone in your house, sweaty from the heatwave outside. 

it's so unbelievably hot, a thin layer of sweat covered on your skin despite wearing a spaghetti strap and shorts. you opted for the outifts that would help you with the heatwave, but the warmth is still the same, you're still sweating. 

and at times like this, ice cream will always be a saviour. you head over into your kitchen, opening the refrigerator and then the freezer to get out the ice cream container, feeling it heavy and your fingers getting numb at the coldness. 

setting it on the aisle, you open the cover and heart eyes basically bulge out of your eye sockets at how glorifying the ice cream looked like in this hot weather. nothing more can you ask for. 

you grab a spoon and stab it into the ice cream, ready to dig in but the spoon falls out of your hand and a faint crescent mark is formed on the top layer of the ice cream.

"fuck…." you sigh, realising it's going to take awhile to defrost. regardless you just kept on poking the ice cream with the steel spoon, grunting when your hand freezes and wrist hurts. 

"ah…" you whine, frustrated and tired, and most importantly sweaty. 

"uhm, am i interrupting something…?" 

you look up from the ice cream tub to see jake peeking into the kitchen, looking at you confused and a sly smirk on his lips. 

"no?" you reply, gripping onto the spoon again when your hand is ready to stab the ice cream once again. 

"it sounded like something," he says, shrugging as he approaches you. "like what, jake?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. 

"you wanna know, y/n?" 

"she doesn't," a voice speaks up and you see jay leaning against the door frame, staring at the two of you like he wants to knock jake's head. "pretty sunghoon doesn't want to either if he finds out what you're doing,"

jake rolls his eyes at jay for cockblocking him. "chill out dude, it's just a joke." 

before jay could do anything, you cut the two of them off and asked jake, "are you gonna tell me what's something or do i need to knock you out with this spoon?" 

"it sounded like you were finally getting dicked down." 

"WHAT?" you shriek and slap your hand against your mouth, looking back and forth at the double Js. 

jay kicks jake in his calf, making the poor boy cry out in agony at the pain. "dude what the fuck!"

"it's just a joke!" he says, smirking at the other and a smile grows on your lips when you see the bigger picture.

is he really….?

jake puts up a middle finger at his friend before turning to you. "but if you ever want to get dicked down, you have my n— okay fine! for god's fucking sake dude!" jake's sentence is short lived when jay threatens to kick him in the exact spot one more time to make him leave. 

limping off to the living room to wait for sunghoon to be back from his disappearance, the two of you are the only ones in the kitchen. 

the smile you're holding back so much grows even more when jay turns to you, taking the spoon out from your hand and then scoops the now melting ice cream, and pushes you aside. 

"what are you doing?" you ask him, with a sly smile on your face as you lean forward on the aisle, looking at him while he does the ice cream scooping. 

"scooping the ice cream for you?" 

"why? i can do it myself," 

"i know you can," jay says, and puts the spoon down when he's done. "i just don't want jake to say that shit again." 

"what? that i sound like i'm getting dicked down?" jay's stare immediately meets yours when you ask him the question, sending chills down your spine.

"yes," he admits. "is that a problem?" 

"why does it bother you if jake thinks i'm getting dicked down? or if he's the one fucking me down— in fact he even said 'finally getting dicked down?' what's that supposed to mean, i've been dicked down before, i have been touched before so why does it bother you two!" 

"because it does." 

"exactly, who does it bother you, jay?" you ask him, straightening your back and moving closer to jay who's staring at you with the most annoyed expression. he doesn't ever look like this unless he's jealous. 

unless he is….

"it bothers me because i don't like people taking what's mine," 

you don't know how to react, you've only ever read this in those smutty heated romance novels and movies, now that it's happening to you, you finally understand why those main leads go frozen.

though you have one thing to say.

"i'm not yours, jay." 

"you've been mine since day one," he says, pushing backwards towards the wall. "and i don't want to hear about anyone that has ever touched you before me, if it isn't clear yet." 

trapping you between the wall, he grips on your waist, and another on the side of your head while he looks down on you. if he wasn't so annoyed right now, he would've just called you unbelievably cute from how you're staring up at him with those starry eyes. 

"the moment you've let me touch you, you were mine." he says, and you were silently thanking every deity out there jay got jealous because of jake and you've finally gotten this chance. 

but on a normal day, if this wasn't jay saying this, you would've gagged at the cheesy line, so extremely corny as if it's out of some fanfiction that someone in their young adult phase write.

you take his hand off the wall next to you and place it on your waist, and then look up at him. 

"touch me." 

that was all it took for jay to pull you in and connect his lips with yours. he doesn't know what he was expecting but what you gave him was beyond the expectations. 

it was truly amazing. fireworks erupting, butterflies going crazy in the pit of your stomachs, funny feelings in your check and minds frenzy, the kiss was fucking hot. 

you're pressing against him with your back on the wall as your back arched slightly when your hips rut against his at your submission. if someone had told you this would've happened to you a long time ago, you would've never believed them. 

before you could slip your hands under his shirt, his hand beats you to it when you feel his warm hand against your skin under the back of your top which makes you gasp slightly. jay takes that opportunity to bite your bottom slightly, causing you to accidentally moan.  

"dude, have you seen my sister?" 

"she's in the kitchen with jay," 

your eyes snap open at the footsteps nearing the kitchen making you push jay away as quick as you could, catching him by surprise. 

"fuck," you pant, both from shock, panic and out of breath from kissing jay. "s-sunghoon!" you gasp, pointing at the kitchen and jay finally realises what's going on. 

standing across from you in the opposite of the kitchen, jay and you both fix your hair, straightening out your clothes and trying to make sure your faces don't look too flustered from the make out session. 

sunghoon finally walks into the kitchen and looks at you wide eyed as if he'd actually caught the two of you red handed. he points his finger at you and it makes your soul leave your body just at the thought of him catching you both, until he speaks up. 

"y/n." he says, and stares at you. "what do girls like on their actual first dates?" 

jay and you let out a sigh of relief when sunghoon asks something else that isn't related to what you both had feared for. 

"sunghoon, are you kidding me?" 

"what? i'm asking you a question what do g—" 

"is that why you ran all the way here for?" you scoff, crossing your arms and annoyed at the thought of how you and jay could've gone further than just a kiss. 

"what's wrong with that? you're acting like i caught you my best friend smooching off each others face," sunghoon deadpans you swore you never froze so quickly ever. good thing, sunghoon was always never a quick witted child, so your reactions wasn't too obvious for him though it would've been for any normal person. 

"so what do girls like on actual first dates?" 

before you could say anything, sunghoon cuts you off real quick. 

"wait," he stops, and clutches his crotch which makes you glare at him in disgust. "i need to piss, don't go anywhere, stay here" 

with that, he leaves you and jay in the kitchen and you turn to look at him, cheeks flustered and hearts beating again. 

"i'm not done with you yet," jay says and leaves the kitchen after giving you a eyebrow raise which makes you want to fall to the ground if it wasn't the wall you were leaning into. 

the ice cream he scooped for you long forgotten in the kitchen when you're touching your lips again, this time, with a bright smile and a heartwarming feeling lingering in the air only before your brother came back. 

"ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL? WHAT THE FUCK!" 

yup, those were the very expected reactions you expected from your friends when you told them the big news! 

"so is this like a joke or are you actually being for real?" wooyoung asks, again but this time after spitting out his drink and gaining weird looks from the other people around you guys in the diner. 

"yes wooyoung. i am being for real, what does it take for you to believe me?" you ask, sighing at him for asking you the same question again and again out of disbelief. 

honestly you couldn't blame him, when you woke up the next morning, you were so dazed that you thought you were dreaming until you got a smirk from jay when you caught him walking out of the bathroom in the hallway shirtless with a towel around his neck. 

and god did it make your pussy throb, maybe you just had issues. 

"i don't know, maybe demonstrate it again with your lover boy?" you gasp at wooyoung's absurd comment, shooting him a glare. 

"so, where do you guys go from here? any talking or just straight up heated sex?" karina asks and you're speechless. 

sometimes you wished your friends had filters whenever something came out of their mouths. 

"uhm, i don't know. we just kissed and he said he's not done with me yet so that question, the answer is only with him." you say, shaking your head before taking a sip from your smoothie. 

"well, i'm hoping you get dicked down finally. like it's been years." 

you roll your eyes at wooyoung, "now you sound like jake and," you pause. "it hasn't been years, seriously the last time was like two years ago?" 

"and it wasn't even a proper dicked down, y/n" wooyoung chuckles but stops himself when you glare at him, again!

"i was still dicked down." 

"uhm, the most you guys did was him getting his dick in you but freaking out because he literally pulled out and came even before he moved— so, sure if that counts." 

karina and you stare at wooyoung in absolute disgust and awe. 

"why the fuck do you even remember that?" karina asks, gagging at the memory of you telling them with tears streaming down your face two years ago, when the guy that liked you, which you decided to give a chance to. 

worst mistake of your life, if you had to admit.

"stop, he's so weird for that i'm glad i cut him off and sunghoon literally got detention and a black eye for almost beating the shit out of him." you say, rubbing your temple at the memory.

you remember how fuelled your brother was when he found out the kid made you cry, now you're thinking how he's going to react if he ever finds out that you and jay made out. 

his own sister and bestfriend going behind his back— but again, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

"talking about sunghoon, i heard a thing about jay." karina speaks up, which perks your attention from your thoughts. 

"what does y/n’s loverboy has to do with her brother?" 

"is he not his bestfriend, you fucking idiot?" 

"oh yeah, damn sorry my bad!" 

"rina, what did you hear about him?" you ask, ignoring the small quarreling between the both of them which makes the two bite their lips and throw a look at each other. 

"guys," you whine, a smile taking over your lips when you realize they're teasing you for being so eager to know about jay. 

"fine, i was saying i heard a thing from someone where they said," karina says, leaning in. "they said that only jay out of the 02z has never let anyone into his racing car," 

"what type of rumor is that?" wooyoung asks, shaking his head, confused why would that be an issue in the first place. 

"i guess it means, no one has ever been in there so it probably means none of his flings or any romantic relationship he has ever had with anyone is that serious, considering even any of his past exes have even been in his car?" 

"oh," wooyoung replies, leaning backwards. "what about the 02z?" 

"i don't know, maybe they have maybe they haven't either, but i heard that he doesn't let anyone into his car." she says, and you nod, realizing that sunghoon has once mentioned it but you've never been interested in it. 

"y/n, you think you can beat that rumor?" 

"what?" you laugh, "what does that have to do with me?" 

"uhm, everything? sometimes you're just so dense." 

"you're the one that's stupid here?" you scoff, glaring at wooyoung which he glares back at for because you called him stupid. 

"god, do you guys EVER stop fighting?" you look at seeun next to you, and shut up immediately. you're only realizing she's been silent the entire time you guys got here. 

you don't ask her anything though, after her scolding you guys, the two of them went back to teasing you about jay and the night just ended like that which led to you coming back home late, after karina dropped you off. 

when you got back, the house was quite silent except for the small bickering coming from sunghoon's room. you just decided to slip back into your room but just before you could, you stopped when you heated something that irked you up.

"dude, she just texted me that she's back in town," you heard jake say, but you couldn't see anything which you chose to assume that he was showing his phone when they all went silent. 

"oh my god!" you hear sunghoon gasp, and there's a small silence before you hear jake and sunghoon cheer. 

"dude holy shit, it's been awhile, we should all like— gather up and have a reunion or something." jake says. "what about a party after the next race." 

jay groans and disagrees with the rest. 

"are you guys not sick of these parties, the entire summer is gonna be wasted away with just parties, i gotta go visit my parents soon. " he says and you hear shuffling. 

"summer is all about partying and having fun man— are you not excited to see mai again? it's been like a few years." 

"why should i be exited to see her, again?"

mai, it sounds familiar but you don't choose to ponder about it until jake asks jay something.

"dude, why aren't you? your hot first love is finally back in town again and you're not even existed for a possible best fuck again?" 

for some reason, your heart sinks at the question. you know it shouldn't but it does and it makes you feel so— weird. like a disappointed feeling grows in you. 

"she's not my first love, i never even liked her. "

"you dated her, does that not mean anything? and even if she wasn't yours, you were still his. you guys are still the talk of the town!" 

you don't listen to the conversation anymore, having a small feeling in you that if you listened further the weird feeling in you would even get worse.

you're not sure why such a feeling is even hurried in you and why you're so sad about it when the most you've both done is just make out. it can totally mean nothing, and a summer fling is not even that big of a deal. 

so just taking a quick shower and then falling asleep seemed to be a better option than to overthink and hurt your own feelings. 

the next morning was quite tiring since you couldn't really get much sleep the night before. you headed down for breakfast and got back upstairs before you could bump into anyone after remembering the conversation between the boys from the night earlier. 

the rest of the day went by after you proceed to occupy yourself with catching up on jungkook updates than worry about jay and whoever mai was.

and then more days went by and it's been a complete week since you even saw any of them which made the entire conversation thing go forgotten by you. 

so when wooyoung, karina and seeun dragged you to a party where you absolutely didn't know jay and his friends were at, you were stunned to see him in the circle of the room everyone was gathered in to play hide and seek. 

and of course, you just had to get a seat next to him after wooyoung and karina forcefully pushed you to the absolute opposite of where they sat. 

"hey," 

you turn to look at him, a smile already on your lips sure that it's mostly the alcohol in your system that's working. you didn't know what convinced you to get drunk tonight, maybe it was wooyoung's influence or anything but you were glad you're still sober enough to absorb everything that's going on. 

"hey," you reply back and jay smiles at you, moving closer to you. 

"sunghoon is right next to you." he is three seats away. 

"so?" 

you don't reply anything back when the host announces that sunghoon is the seeker along with another girl who seemed to be overjoyed she was going to be the seeker which sunghoon. 

"you will be given approximately two to three minutes to hide before sunghoon and seri starts seeking!" the host announces and everyone gets up from their seats, leaving their cups in the room by their seats. 

you mouth at wooyoung and karina to wait for you but they both turned away, pretending to have not seen that. you couldn't resort to seeun either, she wasn't even in the game, because she said she'd rather just talk to someone else than join the fun.

"and the game starts…… now!" 

you rush out of the room along with everyone, most of them chose to hide downstairs so you chose upstairs would be easier to hide since a few spots would be vacant. 

"why are you following me?" 

you turn around with your arms crossed, looking at a jay who obviously seemed to be following behind you but with his nonchalant look and hands tucked in his leather jacket, it was too obvious. 

"i'm not." 

"you are!" 

"i'm not, y/n." 

"whatever," you shrug off and run off into a room when jay chases after you. when you guess he isn't catching up with you anymore, you run into an empty room which you assume it's someone's bedroom. 

obviously hiding under the bed would be a stupid idea, but when you glanced at the watch on your wrist, you realise the three minutes were about to be over. 

so you took an even more stupid idea, you hid yourself inside the closet but it was hidden in the back of the room, so if the seeker wasn't too stupid, like your brother— then you'd be safe. 

as soon as you shut the door close, the door opens back and someone jumps into the closet next to you, shutting it close. 

"w—" 

"don't yell at me!" you realise it's jay and you calm down, but still mad that he followed you to your hiding spot. now you're both gonna be found.

"why are you here! this is my hiding spot!" you hiss a him, a pout on your lips but it was too dim to be noticed. 

"you don't own this spot! i'm allowed to hide here too!" jay hisses back, frowning at you yelling at him. whisper-yelling more likely. 

"i came here first!" 

"okay and?" 

"fine i'll leave then!" you move to open the door but jay stops you with holding your wrist, catching you for the guard. 

"what are you doing! you'll get caught if you leave now and when you do you'll have to do the punishment, you'll black out y/n!" 

"h—" you stop your sentence midway when you hear a loud yell echo throughout the house. 

"THE SEEKING HAS NOW BEGUN."

you both freeze in your spot and jay moves in closer so when the seeker opens the closet door, he isn't the first thing they find. 

so close that he is practically on top of you. if he looked down, he could see your entire cleavage from the low cut of the top you had on. 

which he did when he accidentally looked down but your head fell against his chest as you were heaving for breath from the running earlier. biting his lips he prays you don't feel the growing hardness between his thighs in the tight space. 

you're not too oblivious either, it's clear to you that you're both hidden in the tight space where you're both practically on top of each other. and when your head falls against his chest, you could feel his abdomen that you try so hard to not make another heartbeat happen that isn't your heart. 

the same situation reminds you of the situation when you and jay ate ramen together, in the kitchen, that night. 

you try to find something to focus on in the darkness that now you can see around in after your eyes adjusted to the darkness, to distract yourself from the fact you're basically inches close to the guy you just made out with a week ago. 

before you could do anything else, the room door bursts open and you hear footsteps around the room which makes you and jay look at each other frightened. 

"god, where the fuck is everyone?" 

fuck, why does it have to be sunghoon?

jay holds you closer to hide further, afraid sunghoon might open the closet door and be welcomed with his best friend and sister hugging like there's no tomorrow if he looked more in. 

"ugh, i'm already wasted enough—" his voice is cut when the door shuts which you both assume that he left the room when his footsteps also faded away.

you've never been more relieved that sunghoon is drunk for once, glad that it didn't occur to him that he should check the closet before he left. 

"you can let go of me, now" you say, but it sounded more like a whisper at how small it came out than you intended to. 

but just as you said that your head fell back and almost hit the closet's wall if it wasn't for jay having his hand behind your head, protecting it than your head hitting it. 

your heart for some reason flutters when you realise he must've had it there for a while now since you didn't feel his arm move when you leaned back. 

"i think it's better if i hold you until the game is over," he says, and you could feel his breath fanning over your neck when he spoke. "it's pretty small here, you could hurt yourself again." 

you bite your lips, holding back a squeal. he probably watches dramas or reads romance novels, where the fuck did he learn to speak like this, gosh!

and luck didn't seem to be on your side when you try to lean back, again but a hanger in the box behind your back pokes you right on your lower back, just right below where jay was holding you at. 

"fuck!" you whine out, unexpectedly loud which catches jay by surprise. 

"shit, did you hurt yourself?" you didn't hear the 'i told you so' tone when he asked you that, instead you sensed he was actually worried from the tone he asked you in. 

"uhm— yeah," you admit, embarrassed that you just had to hurt yourself as soon as jay said that. 

"just stay still," he whispers and his hand goes down to where you got jabbed at. "does it hurt here?" 

your eyes widen when his hand accidentally slides past the slope of your ass but still lands right above it, perfectly on the hurting spot. 

"yeah," you say, nodding slowly and jay just rubs over it, soothing out the pain for you. eventually it leaves sooner than you expected but you don't say anything, you just liked the feeling of jay touching you so you just left that at it. 

a few minutes go by and you're both bored out of your mind, wondering if anyone was ever even found but too scared to leave the tiny spot in case you'd both lose.

the space was already small to begin with so sticking against each other wasn't really helping with the tenparture too. at this rate you were beginning to sweat and it was bothering you.

"ugh, it's so fucking hot in here— im sweating." you whine, softly making sure to not make too much sound as you turn around but jay stops you by clutching you around your waist. 

"don't move." 

"what? why?" 

"just don't move!" he hisses at you, leaving you confused as to why he isn't letting you move. 

"jay, it's hot i'm literally sweating," 

"i know— just, just don't move." he says, holding you in place but you're too stubborn for that. sighing, you move around anyway which makes your back meet his front and you immediately find out why he stopped you from moving. 

you hear jay mutter a string of cuss words under his breath when something hard practically pokes at your lower back, just right next to the spot where you got jabbed earlier. 

"i told you not to move, y/n. you never listen," 

"uhm, sorry i— i didn't know," you say, unsure of how to address the situation. was he seriously hard over the fact you're practically sticking on him, or because of how small the closet is. 

you're not sure, but what's clear is he's definitely hard because of you and boy, were you having a field day because of it. 

deciding to run with it, you purposely throw your head back, onto his shoulder and then shoot a short smirk his way which he's too distracted on his hardness to realise. you were already slightly intoxicated, but if you were to blame what made you act up now it'll definitely do wonders. 

the intoxicating thoughts just made things worse in your case, the lewd thoughts of how your ass was practically in between jay's crotch is beyond you, it honestly felt like you were dreaming. 

you shift slightly which jay immediately holds you back for, "stop moving y/n, please " 

oh, he was willing to beg? that's great!

you move your body backwards even more, urging to push him to his limits. exactly what you needed and wanted from him, is to snap. 

"y/n, stop it." 

"i'm not doing anything!" 

"you know what you're doing, you're not dumb." 

"i don't know what you're talk—" 

he spins you around in a swift, and holds you tightly, that you're unable to move around in. 

"do it one more time, and i won't be able to hold myself back." 

a smirk grows on your lips when you realize you've pushed the right button indeed, he's finally snapped. 

"i'm not asking you to." 

none of you have to say anything anymore for him to pull you in and your both lips colliding onto each other's, moving against each other. jay licked your bottom lip, humming at the taste of your lip balm, cherry, good choice. 

you wrap your arms around his neck as he slides his arm around your waist and another explores your body, shamelessly. you weren't going to lie if you say your panties weren't soaked. 

whatever effect jay had on you seemed to be sickening because of how bad you're down for him. 

he pulls away by surprise, bursting the closet door open and dragging you out by your arm. lips swollen, hair messed up and dazed looks on your faces, he pushes you against the door, making sure to not hurt you. 

trapping you between his hold, jay locks the door in a swift and then turns to focus on you. 

"i said i wouldn't be able to hold myself back," he breathes and if it wasn't for your self control, you would've come there itself from the way he's looking at you while catching his breath. 

"and, i told you i wasn't done with you yet." 

you open your mouth to say something, to finalize it all and pull jay by shirt back into the kiss again, until the door bursts open despite the fact you both thought jay had locked it. 

in a second, jay pushes you behind the door and stands before it when the person who walked in sees him standing there. 

"dude what the fuck, we thought you left!" 

you sigh in relief when you hear jake's voice, thanking the god's it wasn't your brother again. but the annoyed feeling takes over when you realiszd he just fucked up your chance of getting railed by his bestfriend, after all the pent up tension and the movie material scenes— all to waste, just like that!

"oh, uhm— no, i didn't! what? so is the game over?" jay stutters and you smile at the thought of him getting flustered and caught red handed. 

"yeah b— why are you flustered?" 

jay starts to laugh, shaking his head. "nothing dude, just surprised you walked in when i was about to head out." 

you see jay's gaze fall on you and then back to jake, who you couldn't really see from the door blocking your sight. 

"nah, that's too….. fishy— oh my god. wait, don't tell me," jake gasps, and then looks around frantically. your eyes widens and you immediately cover your mouth from any sound escaping as your heart rate picks up. "don't tell me you got someone in here," 

jay immediately pushes him out the door, and laughs in the most awkward way you've ever heard someone laugh in, "you're tripping, let's get outta here. at least we didn't lose hahahaha!" 

shoving his best friend out of the door, jay mouths a 'sorry' at you and then leaves in a second. you scoff at what had just happened, raging the inner demon in you. 

this is the second time you've both got cockblocked, you're starting to wonder when were you both ever going to even get together, but by the looks of it— it's probably never going to happen. 

"fuck," you sigh, shaking your head in dissapointment before walking out. you head down the stairs and spot jay with sunghoon and jake, too engulfed in their conversations to even bother about their surroundings. 

you look around for your friends but no one is nowhere to be found, you're guessing either they are passed out somewhere or already back home, enjoying peace instead of this crowded place smelling like sex in the air and pure alcohol. 

you try to pass by a group of people, sweaty bodies against each other and you try to not scrunch up your face in disgust, but in the midst of that, you accidentally bump past someone, immediately making them knock over their drink. 

"holy shit, oh my god— i'm sorry!" you gasp, immediately crouching down to pick up the cup and bite your lip as you examine the carpeted floor being coated in whatever the drink they had previously in the now emptied cup. 

"wait, no it's my fault, i'm sorry i wasn't watching where i was going!" 

for some reason you recognized the voice all too well, and then you look up and you're completely lost at words. 

what the fuck was lee heeseung doing here?

your mouth falls open and so does his. 

"o-oh my god, Y/N?" he chuckles, furrowing his eyebrows as he points his finger at you in confusion. 

"heeseung? what are you doing here?" you ask, still staring at him in shock. no, but you were actually stunned because what's he doing here instead of being at NYU with his girlfriend? 

"that's an interesting way to ask how have you been? thanks for asking, i'm great!" he laughs, shaking his head slightly. 

"oh uh— my bad!" you grimace, and immediately apologizing at your rude manners. the alcohol in your system isn't doing wonders anymore, not much justice either. 

heeseung chuckles at your mistake, giving you a bright smile that complimented his perfect 32's, the braces he had back then showing the results so greatly. 

"oh my, where are my manners? here," heeseung says, realizing you're both still on the ground before he puts out his hand for you and you gladly take it as you both get up. 

"i'm so sorry— for the drink. i wasn't seeing where i was going, a little tipsy too, so it was completely my fault." you blabber which heeseung finds cute for his liking. 

"no y/n, don't dwell on it. it's my fault as well for being too careless, so don't sweat it!" 

you smile at him, and then the both of you laugh at the silence being too awkward all of a sudden. 

"you should get a refill, if you'd like?" you say, pointing at the cup he's now holding, and then to the kitchen behind your back. 

"yeah, sure!" 

the two of you walk over to the kitchen and you help heeseung with his drink as an apology for spilling it which he reassures you is really fine. 

"so, you're back in town for the semester as well?" you ask heeseung, watching him gulp down the first sip and then he gives you a short smile before answering. 

"actually, i just graduated." 

"oh my god, really? that's great news, congrats!" 

"thanks, y/n." he says, smiling at you sheepishly. "i'll be starting my first residency in about a month at a university hospital back in New York." 

"oh i see, that's really great." you say, nodding. 

"and what about your girlfriend? i haven't gotten a marriage invitation from you guys, still waiting for it!" you laugh jokingly but heeseung deadpans in your face making you stop almost in a heartbeat. 

"we're not seeing each other anymore." 

your silence happens to be too deafening so heeseung chuckles in order to break it. he puts his hand over yours, rubbing his thumb on your hand to assure you not to worry about it. 

"it's fine, we never really saw it coming as well, so it's pretty much a shock to everyone who found out…." 

you just nod, chuckling awkwardly like jay did earlier. "i'm sorry for.." you trail off not knowing to show your condolences. 

it wasn't like she or heeseung lost feelings for him or something, both of them would be fucking crazy to do that. 

"it's fine. things fell out between us, i think she lost feelings along the w—" 

your loud gasp cuts heeseung halfway, leaving him hanging staring at you in shock. your eyes widens when you realize you gasped out loudly, which you gasp at once again. 

"oh my god— fuck," you sigh, apologizing profusely at heeseung. you were _really_ embarrassing yourself at this point, you didn't know how worse it was going to get after this. 

"i'm guessing you're really….. shocked huh?" heeseung laughs and you shake your head in embarrassment. 

how would you have known that your guess would've been true. so, heeseung's ex is indeed fucking crazy. 

"how can she? i mean, you're everyone's dream guy so how did she even…" you ask, feeling sorry for heeseung who's before you. 

you're right however, heeseung had always been everyone's dream guy. an old friend of yours and your brother's, an ex senior from your school as well. 

it's no surprise that everyone loved him, the same type of love that everyone loves your brother like, but more. heeseung was and has always been the blueprint, everyone's it boy. 

he lacks almost nothing, gorgeous looks, a smart brain that got him into NYU with a scholarship, he's loaded enough to afford a Porsche each month, and all other stuff that everyone admires him so much for. 

you did admire him at one point too, maybe even had a teeny tiny crush on him for the time he danced with you at a birthday party when your supposed partner was supposed to but he was too busy smashing his face in another girl's face.

he stepped up to you and told you he'd dance with you, with the dreamiest smile on his face and the most charming persona enough to have hooked under his spell. 

until she came into the picture and they hit off like a perfect match. the high school sweethearts that moved to college together and everyone was expecting them to get married. 

"it happens, when you're too used to someone you eventually get tired of them, no matter how much you love them— it gets boring and it doesn't give you the very same spark it does when it's fresh and brand new."

"but then again, i don't think i can ever move on from something that was never supposed to end."  

(a/n : YESSSS AFTERGLOW HEESEUNG CAMEO!!!!!)

his voice sounds dull, you feel sorry for him. the sigh he lets out is filled with so much agony and heartbreak you're guessing he's not over it. who would be, decades worth of love and time all wasted over his past lover losing feelings for him, such a loss. 

"heeseung… i'm sorry for that, really. you deserve so much better than that." you say, this time you rub your finger over his hand, comforting him. 

"she had always been the better, but i guess— for her to lose feelings, i was probably never the better for her." 

you sigh at his misery, just hoping he doesn't feel too down for the rest of the night. 

"it's in the past, things will get better for you heeseung, it's not the end of the world. you're still young, there's still more beautiful things waiting to bloom for you!" 

heeseung chuckles slightly, smiling at you as he looks up at you with the same dreamy eyes he gave you the first time he had you hooked. 

"you're so wise. it's lovely." he smiles. "i almost forgot, you look great tonight! it's really been awhile, you've gotten more beautiful over the years." 

you giggle, shaking your head. "thank you heeseung, the same goes for you too!" 

heeseung himself had definitely gotten more handsome over the years, the only downside is medical school must've played a big role in the eye bags under his eyes but it's really not too noticeable.

"oh, _i_ almost forgot, does sunghoon know you're back?" 

"how can he not? he was so overjoyed to see me back, i missed him more than i thought," heeseung says, and then looking over past the crowd to the 02z, they're still not moved, still talking but the only difference is jay is seated in the middle staring right back at the two of you with daggers. 

you're caught by surprise, but you don't say anything, enjoying the building tension once again. 

"and met the boys again too, they've grown up alot than the last time, i saw them." heeseung says and his words just turn into another one of the background noises when your gaze stays put on jay's. 

he must've been watching it all this while then. 

"i should leave now, it's getting quite late. got a few plans tomorrow," 

you turn to face heeseung again when he gets up, and your hold in his doesn't depart as you get up from your seat as well. 

"i see," you say, smiling at him back. "if you're free anytime over the summer, i'm one call away. i still use the old number. 

"sure, im one call away too, if you wanna hang anytime." he says, and then pulls you in for a goodbye hug. you take this chance to look over his shoulder, at jay but it surprises you when you see jay walking over with the most annoyed look. 

you must've pushed the right button then. 

"oh yes, i'm driving home, do you need a ride, i can dr—" 

"heeseung hyung," 

you both look over to the younger male joining the conversation. jay gives heeseung a smile when heeseung gives him a joyful one. 

"jay, what's up?" 

"nothing much, sunghoon just wanted you over, real quick too! i'm afraid you need to cut the conversation with y/n short," he says, then swiftly glancing between your hands and then back at heeseung's face. 

"i see," heeseung says and turns back to you. "sorry y/n, i'll drive you home, another time, alright?" he says, and then leans in closer to you, catching you by surprise. 

"see you around, yeah?" he says and then places a small kiss right on the corner of your lips, completely catching you by surprise and only intriguing a wave of jealousy. 

winking at you he leaves but you don't have any time to wave back at him before jay takes you by your wrist and leads you into the back of the kitchen, to the hidden corner, where no one can see the two of you.

"what are you doing, jay?" you ask when he lets go of your hand. "is everything okay?" 

"don't is everything okay me, y/n," he sighs, shaking his head as he looks down at you before he leans down to your level like heeseung had done before. "you got my attention, don't you think you have to deal with the consequences now?" 

your lips full apart to answer him but instead jay takes this as a chance to continue what had been discontinued earlier, this time hoping no one would cockblock the two of you, again. 

"drive me home tonight." you say, eyelashes fluttering as you look up at him, pulling away to catch your breath. 

"i can do more than just drive you home tonight, y/n." 

and so he did, proved you right. you didn't have a thing to complain about by the end of the night. when you tiptoed back to your room after jay had driven you back home in sunghoon car, after leaving the boys back, you were absolutely tired out and dazed.

and sore, and tired. laying down on your bed, you pulled the duvet over yourself, too tired to hop in the shower and shower. 

afraid his scent on your skin from the previous hours would go missing. his cologne, the taste of his lips, the ghost of his touches on your skin, all the memories come flashing back into your mind as you fall into dreamland with the biggest smile plastered on your face. 

when you woke in the morning you had immediately rushed to shower and the night before memory came rushing back as the water trickled down your body. 

you walked out of the shower, wrapped in your towel ready to lotion your skin until you saw yourself in the mirror, eyes widened. 

"holy shit," 

you trail your fingers over the marks in between the valley of your chest and all the way up to the collarbone, gasping at how sick it looked. 

you didn't know whether to be scared that if anyone saw your entire collarbone area covered in hickeys is terrifying or the fact these marks were lowkey hot. 

and then you remembered what jay had said the night before. 

"don't leave too obvious marks," 

he shifts in his place before smiling and then pulling you into a kiss again, then onto your neck, nibbling on the skin, making a hickey. 

"sure," and then he pulls you into another kiss, this time purposely missing your lips and kissing the spot heeseung had kissed you at just before, a few hours prior to this. 

when he pulls away there's a small red mark on the spot both of them had kissed at. 

"my mark as my girl," he says, chuckling and you swear your heart truly skipped a beat, making you feel all the things you should've felt with heeseung earlier. "i've told you before, i don't like people having what's mine already."

you bite your bottom lip before your lips grow upwards into a smile, and you try to not blush at the memory. 

"gosh, what the hell.." you sigh, shaking your head. you're pretty sure a hookup shouldn't have you giggling this way, but for some reason it did and it doesn't feel wrong at all. 

you then examine the marks, sighing at how obvious it looked. you're just hoping enough foundation and concealer can fix it. 

a few minutes later, after a lot of effort into hiding the hickeys, you then look into the mirror, hoping it's hidden pretty well. it was, but if anyone were to look closer into it, you can tell something's hidden behind the makeup. 

giving up, you just resorted into getting dressed and just heading downstairs for a late breakfast considering how your stomach hasn't stopped grumbling. 

"morning," 

you see jake by the stairs, putting on his jacket in the hot weather and you wave back at him.

"it's 1 in the afternoon, are you heading out somewhere?" 

jake smirks at you, "i know, it's called sarcasm baby," you roll your eyes at the pet name, looking away. "and yes, you wanna come along?" 

"where are you going? where's the rest by the way?" 

"heading over to the tracks for rehearsal, there's a race tonight." jake replies, following right behind you, hot on your trail. "the rest are already there." 

"oh," you nod, and then take the cereal box but jake stops you. 

"what?" 

"let's go," 

"go where?" 

"to the tracks," 

"no? i'm lazy."

"and?" 

you scoff at him, slapping his hand away from your arm. "it's scorching hot jake, i'm too lazy for that." 

"not even a free McDonalds can convince you?" 

you pause, and that gets a reaction out of jake. he immediately smiles when he realises he might have gotten you in his grip, "what do you say?" 

"only if we can get the combo sets." 

"SETS?" he gasps, and then wonders how much he has left in his wallet. 

"take it or leave it, jakey." 

jake ponders on it for a few seconds before signing, and giving in. "okay fine," he whines, and then points at you. "let's go." 

you excused yourself to change into a more appropriate outfit rather than showing up in an oversized shirt and shorts, which doesn't seem right for the venue at all. 

after you changed, you and jake drove off to the nearest McDonald's and after a lot of fighting, jake indeed got you combo sets and within minutes finished it all, leaving jake absolutely stunned.

"i know you didn't just finish ALL of that," he says, glaring at you as he reverses into the parking lot. 

"and i didn't even have any of the fries!" 

"you didn't even ask for any, that's not my fault," you say, laughing as jake parks the car and finally turn to you. 

"i did, you're just saying things now!" 

"uhm if so I didn't hear anything so," you say, shrugging and then jake leans into you and then smirks..

you start to panic, is he going to kiss you? you really seemed to be very kissing material these days, there's just a never ending list of guys leaning in to kiss you.

"i'll make you hear it then," 

you smile, feeling the rushing feeling going up through your chest and then up your throat. before jake could lean in any closer, you burp so loud in his face making him fall back into his seat in absolute horror. 

"oh god— uh i did not MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN…." you gasp, feeling sorry for him all of sudden. 

"i— i, i think i saw god for a second…….. y/n.." he trails off, and closes his eyes, trying to not pass out from the shock. 

fast forward a few minutes later jake finally recovers from the trauma, you think so. you try to not laugh in his face even more while jake glares at you for pulling that shit on him earlier as you two make your way into the arena. 

as soon as you enter you spot sunghoon immediately and he's shocked to see you there as well. 

"are you really y/n? what are you doing here?" he asks, placing his hand to his heart, looking at you in awe. 

"shut up," you whine, rolling your eyes at your brother. 

"no for real, what has you coming here for?" 

"jake bribed me with McDonalds," you say, and then pointing to Jake who's glaring at you with a scoff. 

"yeah i wish i didn't, she almost killed me with that deadly ass burp— fuck i'm gonna throw up," he slaps his hand against his mouth and wanders off into somewhere, trying to not embarrass himself and throw up in the middle of the arena. 

"did you seriously do that to him, that's fucking nasty," sunghoon gasps, scrunching his face up in disgust at your actions, and gasping again when you laugh to confirm his guesses. 

you don't tell him jake tried to kiss you though, only dismissing it because jake would have a black eye when sunghoon finds out. you figured that would work as an apology for burping in his face.

your chat with sunghoon is interrupted when jay walks up to the two of you, taking of his helmet and wiping off the sweat on his forehead, then swiping his hair back as he looks at sunghoon. 

"you're up next." 

sunghoon nods and then pats your head. 

"i gotta go, see you later." 

you nod, giving him a thumbs up, "goodluck." 

you watch as sunghoon disappears into the group of people and then you realise how passionate he looked like, about racing. 

"i didn't know you would come down here," jay says as he looks down at you. 

"i don't," you say, smiling at him. "jake bribed me with McDonalds so, that speaks for itself," you laugh and try to not wheeze at burping in jake's face for him trying to kiss you. 

but then again, you don't mention it either. 

"it's gone?" 

"what's gone?" 

jay traces his hand on your collarbone, and then nods when he sees it's hidden by your concealer. you glare at him, immediately remembering the trouble you had to go through to hide the hickeys. 

"i told you to not make it too obvious jay," 

"yeah, you only said to not make it too obvious?" he says, chuckling. "you never said i couldn't make any at all," 

"it's the same thing." you scoff, squirting your eyes at him. "it's not baby," 

you bite the insides of your cheek, trying to not blush at the pet name except when jake used it on you earlier, it didn't give you the same effects as now. 

jay seems to find that you do like being called baby so he takes notes and then smiles at how cute you were.

"shut up," 

"i don't think you were saying that last night when i was—" 

"JAY!" you gasp, shutting him up with your hand over his mouth, staring at him wide eyed. he tears your hand away, laughing. 

"what? are you embarrassed now?" 

"no— i just— why are you saying this stuff in public!" 

"you didn't have a problem with screaming my name in public yesterday though," 

"jay shut up, oh my god," you whine, cheeks turning red, flustered only making jay chuckle. 

"the only one who'll be shutting up is you," he says, slipping his hand right underneath your waist, catching you by surprise. "right?" 

he's right, that immediately shuts you up and also the pulsing between your legs returns in broad daylight. it's immaculate how down bad you were for him.

"am i interrupting something?" 

you turn to your right to see heeseung in his racing attire as well, surprising you immediately when you push jay away. 

"yeah, we were in the middle of something, hyung." 

you widen your eyes staring at jay and then back at heeseung. 

"oh, i see, if so then—" 

"what? no ,he's just kidding!" you laugh awkwardly, waving your hands at him. "he's gonna go back to the tracks, right jay hahahaha!" you say, and then raise your eyebrows only to get a glare from him. 

"oh uhm.." heeseung trails off, rubbing the back of his neck, smiling at you and jay awkwardly. "i didn't expect to see you here, just wanted to say hi!" 

"i could say the same for you as well, you're back into racing again?" you ask, confused to see him here as well, in his racing attire too. 

"uh, yeah, in the meantime while waiting for the residency to start, you know." 

"oh i see," you nod, giggling at heeseung. 

"anyway, i'm free later in the evening, do you want to go out for dinner, if you're free—" 

"oh sur—" 

"no she's not." jay speaks up, crossing his arms against his chest, surprising the two of you. 

"uh excuse me?" you ask jay, widening your eyes at him signalling what the hell he's doing. 

you look back at heeseung, laughing again to clear out the awkward tension between them. "he's just joking! gosh, jay you're such a jokester today hahahahahahahah!" 

the two of them just stare at each other with you in the middle, not a word being exchanged. 

"uh— yeah, hee i'm free later, just text me for the details." 

hee? jay stares at you in disbelief at the nickname, for a reason it infuriates him. 

"that's great then. see you around, y/n?" he says, giving you a shy smile which you return back with a bigger smile at before he leaves. 

when heeseung leaves, there's smoke coming out of jay's nostrils so when you turn back to look at him you're stunned. 

"hee," jay mutters under his breath in a mocking way, making you chuckle at his jealousy. 

"what? is there something wrong with that?" you ask, looking up at the fuelled jay park.

"i didn't say anything," 

"do you want a nickname too?" you ask, smiling at him, sulking. "jay? jey? jayjay?" 

"you can make as many as you want," he says, glancing over at you with a smirk before he leans down to your level, to face your eye to eye. 

"nothing turns me on as much as the way you say my name though."

IN DILEMMA as you stare at yourself in the mirror. you place down the gloss, and sigh loudly. you're not sure why the guilt is building up in you when you're not supposed to be feeling guilty at all. 

it's not a crime to go out for just a dinner with an old friend (cut out crush), it's simply just a reunion over a small dinner, nothing extravagant like a date. 

but you're not sure why the one on your mind is jay, the boy you've been hooked on for weeks now, the one who's lips taste is still lingering on yours despite the cherry lip gloss coated on it. when all you're supposed to be thinking about is the man you're going to be out with in a few minutes, lee heeseung. 

"y/n!" you slap yourself, staring into the mirror. "get it together for god's sake," you sigh, slapping your cheeks again. 

you can do it, it's no big deal. just ignore the guilt in you and go on a date with heeseung, it's all fine, _no big deal_!

you get a text from heeseung that he's outside, making you get up and frantically rush around the room to get your clutch, and a few other things. after rushing to spray on your perfume, you head out to find heeseung waiting for you by the porch. 

"oh, wow." 

heeseung smiles at you, as he compliments your looks for the night. "you look simply gorgeous tonight, y/n." 

you smile back at him, thanking him as you compliment him back on the navy blue but black tux he has on, perfectly suiting him in every inch. 

"you look amazing too, heeseung." 

"shall we?" he asks, and takes your hand in his, leading to his Mercedes, and closing the door after you get into the passenger seat. 

heeseung joins you in the driver's seat and the rest of the drive is accompanied by a small talk between you two, until you guys reach the restaurant. 

and you have to say, lee heeseung went all out on this. you're wondering how his ex could have ever gotten tired of this, quite materialistic of you. 

"the food here is great, i hope you love the cuisines," heeseung says as he helps you out of the car and then locks it before walking into the restaurant with you. 

"good evening, mr.lee. great to see you again!" the waitress at the front greets heeseung and then gives you a brief smile before attending to him. 

"i have a reservation under my name," 

"yes sir, let's get you checked in." she says and then leads you and heeseung inside of the restaurant and all you could say about the place was it screamed rich, rich, rich. 

not your usual cup of tea, but enjoying a good dinner like this once in awhile is a good thing you suppose. 

"alright, here's your seat, i'll be right back to attend to you with your menus." she says as she stops the two of you inside a private room, you're guessing it must be a VIP spot considering how glamorous the spacious room looked for only a table for two. 

"thank you," he thanks the waitress and then walks over to you when she leaves. he pulls out the chair for you, helping you into your seat before he gets in for himself. 

you look around the room, awkwardly not knowing what to say until heeseung speaks up. 

"so, uh, you're with jay?" 

you're not sure how to answer the question, you're not sure yourself what the two of you even were. 

you hooked up, one time. three failed hookup times, but every kiss was amazing, you couldn't ask for better. you don't know if you like him, you know he doesn't like you that's for sure, in a romantical way. 

sure he makes you feel all the type of way every girl would feel from someone she likes but, do you like him, romantically?

you're guessing he's not more than just a summer fling, right?

but how were you supposed to explain it to heeseung? much to your dismay, fortunately you don't have to because the waitress walks in with the menus as she promised.

"here are your menus," she says and you both order your meals but yours is just recommend by both heeseung and the waitress, a few more words are exchanged between each other until the waitress leaves and you're back to square one again with heeseung.

"i'm guessing it's a yes, then?"

you look up to look at him, and you blink, unsure of what to say. 

"i hope you don't mind me asking….. i just—"

"are you hitting on me, heeseung?" 

you know you may or may have not fucked up by the way heeseung almost choked on his water as he stares at you wide eyed. your reaction has him chuckling in no time, realising that you're actually being serious. 

"is that what it looks like?" 

"it's the only logical explanation i can think of," you say, shrugging slightly. 

"well, to answer you question." he pauses, laughing. "no, i'm not hitting on you." 

you're confused now, so why was he acting like he was trying to hit on you? "i was just testing the waters." 

"mind elaborating?" you urge, staring at him blankly. heeseung smiles at you, leaning back in his seat. 

"i was trying to see if jay has finally got you," 

"what?" 

heeseung just smiles at you again, sighing when he sees that you're clueless, so clearly jay hasn't made his move yet. "that, i don't think it's my place to tell you." 

you whine, sulking at heeseung. 

"how can you just say stuff and then leave me hanging by the thread like that! heeseung!" 

the older boy just chuckles, taking a sip from his glass seconds later. "you'll see, soon. "

"but, you know, jay's a great guy," heeseung continues, speaking for his brother who isn't blood related to him. "despite the whole reputation he has tainted on him, he's a gem." 

you nod, listening to heeseung, completely immersed in the topic as it's about jay.

"jay's a great guy, i give you my word for that. he's amazing, honestly— i can't stress it enough, i'm exaggerating because he's my homie or anything but, anyone would be lucky to have jay in their life." heeseung says, giving you a warm smile at it, as if he knows there's something going on between you and jay. 

"you're no stranger to him right y/n? so you know how his childhood has always been," heeseung says and you agree.

you really are no stranger to jay, you've known him ever since sunghoon barged through the house with jake, jay and heeseung behind him, excitedly cheering that he's a grown up boy and has friends now! especially one that is older than the rest of them. 

you remember him spending most of his time at your place rather than his own, for reasons of course. jay never really had a great relationship with his family, sure his parents were in his life, still living under a roof together. 

but does all of that even matter when there's not a single ounce of love or affection? all that has ever been for jay is his parent's main priority being too engulfed into their business world that caring for their one and only heir has never been on their radar. 

but you know, that the love he never found with his biological parents, he found it in your home. with sunghoon, jay has always been treated like his very own brother— it's as if you were sister too but considering neither of you ever saw each other like that, that's another story. 

sunghoon has never let jay feel left out, always sharing with him everything he's ever had, even if not with, he's always shared with jay everything. from his toys to his dreams. everything.

your parents are no exception too, always welcoming him into their warm arms like jay is their own son. treating him exactly like you and sunghoon were always treated, with so much of love and affection. a family love, a type of love every human out there yearns for. 

they had always included him in family vacations, family activities, every breakfast, lunch, dinner, hangout— everything, jay was always invited. your home was basically his very own home too at this point.

however although you're aware you family has treated him him like their very own son, the lingering feeling will always be in jay : where his own family doesn't even care this much for him when another family, who isn't even his own blood does. 

so when that happens, it plays a major part in his growing up phase, but jay had always best the stereotype. that kids from broken families always fucks up, and has a ruined reputation. 

no, jay had always been an elite student in school. active for almost all of his curricular, a teacher's pet, star student— and is even loved by the students! popular kid, prom king, another it boy, the list goes on and on. 

though neither of that compares to the love and affection he's never had, the one he yearns for, you hope at least he's happy and lives a good life. 

"deep in thoughts?" 

"oh," you chuckle, shaking your head as you break out from the immense train of thoughts. "yeah— thinking about what you said, it's true." 

"right? considering things have always been like for him, i hope at least. the love he never got from his own family, he gets it from someone he loves." heeseung says, continuing from earlier. 

"and someone he loves i don't mean it by you know, sunghoon and the boys, partying, fucking around— i mean if that gives him happiness then so it be, but," he pauses. "by someone he loves, i mean like his romantic life. i hope that goes well for him especially, he's the type that never forgets his day 1 girl for a 1 day girl." 

you ponder on what heeseung said, letting it sink in. most men leave their day 1 girl for a 1 day girl, and jay not being them, just makes your heart a small flip. 

although you are aware that you don't like him romantically, the thought of being his girl, somehow makes you feel so giddy and on cloud nine. 

"i agree, i hope the same for him too." you say, nodding, and just agreeing with heeseung so he doesn't suspect anything wrong. 

heeseung just laughs, and then shakes his head. 

"i don't think we're supposed to talk about others when we're having dinner together," heeseung says, making you look at him. "but, guilt killing me so much that i can't stop thinking about her while i'm here with you." 

you're not sure how to react to that, not that you liked heeseung romantically to feel offended by that statement, but— his heart still belongs to his past lover at the end of the day, even while being on a dinner with another girl amuses you. 

you wonder, when is it your turn for your heart to belong to someone like that and that even if you have the most wanted, charming guy in the room wrapped around your fingers, nothing would compare to the one that has your heart. 

sighing, you lean back in your seat. 

"it's fine, i'm here for the free meal anyway!' 

and dinner passed in a blink of an eye, after heeseung and your conversation about jay, the two of you had just drifted onto another topic and enjoyed the talk over the overpriced food. 

that didn't even taste as good as the diner by your place where you hang out with your friends at. 

heeseung opens the door for you and leads you out of the restaurant, as soon as you do, the chilly breeze hits your skin, making you shiver almost immediately. 

"oh, here," he says, taking off his jacket and putting it over you. you're stunned but you thank him nevertheless, realizing that if you had just gone on with the dress you have on, you'd just freeze to death, although it's in the middle of the summer. 

"thank you, hee." 

the drive back to your place was filled with a comfortable silence, heeseung changing the radio stations when it got boring, and you just leaning against the window of his car, staring into the outer view while your mind's completely occupied. 

by the boy you couldn't stop thinking about ever since the start of summer. 

when heeseung pulled into your driveway, he got out ahead of you to open the door for you. thanking him again, you bid him goodbyes and give him a goodbye hug then make your way up to your porch. 

just as heeseung drives off and you reach for your purse a loud thud in the darkness scares the absolute shit out of you. 

"FUCK!" you gasp, for a moment your soul leaving your body when you see a tall figure get up from the porch and walk towards you. 

under the dim light of the streetlight, you calm down when you're able to make out the figure, realizing it's just jay. 

"what are you doing here?" you ask and he just stared at you with a sulky, annoyed expression. 

"jay, h— have you been here since afternoon?" you gasp, taking in his outfit. it's the exact same as the one from earlier in the noon, except he has a leather jacket over him now. 

"what, no." he says, and rubs the back of his neck. you fight back the urge to smile when you realize it's a habit he has when he's not being honest, often when’s lying. 

"are you sure?" you ask again and jay just looks away, slightly scoffing which doesn't go unheard by you. it makes a small smirk grow on your lips almost immediately. 

he wasn't waiting for you… right? 

"uh stop asking me questions! h— how was your so-called date with heeseung?" jay asks, turning around almost immediately, looking at you with an unexplainable look plastered on his face. 

"it went well, i guess, why?" 

"nothing, you just seem to— like it so much," he says, and rolls his eyes. "smiling ear to ear and shit," he mutters under his breath as he looks down at his shoes, next to you. 

you chuckle, biting your lip to hold back a louder laugh as soon as jay turns to you to give you a glare for laughing at him. that's when he realizes what you have over your body, a coat he's never seen you own.

and then it strikes him, it's heeseung's! 

"huh? jay, what are you doing!" you gasp when jay pulls the coat off you, catching you by surprise. he doesn't say anything when he tosses heeseung's coat onto the bench and takes off his leather jacket, then puts it over you. 

"you'll be a lot warmer now," he says and then avoids eye contact when you smile up at him. "what does he think he's in, a kdrama?" jay scoffs when he looks over at the coat on the bench and you roll your eyes at his pettiness. 

"thank you so much jay, i would've frozen to death if i didn't wear yours instead of wearing heeseung's!" you say, exaggerating the way you say it as well, mocking the sulky jay park.

"yeah, you should be grateful i saved you," he says, huffing dramatically. "your prince charming is here, not the guy that took you out for like a expensive dinner once— even i can do that!" 

you laugh at him, pushing his shoulder. 

"yeah? then why don't you do that, jay? who knows, maybe i'll give you a chance too." 

jay just shrugs at you, acting cool and unbothered when you laugh at him.  

"whatever, just go in. you're gonna get sick." he says, and points over at the blowing wind, signaling there might be rain tonight. 

before you could say anything else, jay just opens the door for you and pushes you in, before he gives you a brief wave and starts to walk away. 

"jay!" you call out, and drop your purse on the ground before you walk after him. jay turns around in a heartbeat and your lips collide onto his lips, leaving a small peck that makes his cheeks flustered. 

"y/n?" he asks, when you pull away immediately after the small peck. 

you walk back to the door, and then lean against the doorframe, before closing it shut. 

"i'll be waiting for the dinner invitation, mr.prince charming!" 

you give him a quick wave and shut the door, leaving the boy with his heart doing flips and mind going crazy. god, you're the death of him. 

"HAS IT ALREADY BEEN THAT LONG?" 

you and wooyoung gasp at karina who seemed to be occupied with her college hunt on her laptop. summer is ending soon, and you've barely got your shit together. all that's ever been going on is partying, getting wasted, fucking around with your loverboy endlessly and nothing else. 

though wooyoung just sighed it off saying he'd worry about it later and you both should go back to playing mario cart, you couldn't help but ignore the worry in you. 

it hasn't hit you yet that high school is finally over and that you'll be graduating less in a month! 

and then college comes, the young adult phase where all you can think about is assignments and deadlines, no more fun. what makes you want to tear up is the fact that the four of you, wooyoung, karina, seeun and you won't be together anymore. 

"can't believe you're like this," seeun sighs, and she lays on your bed, scrolling on your phone. 

"that's rich coming from you— scrolling on tiktok isn't going to help you apply for college either, seeun." wooyoung retorts, rolling his eyes at her. 

they're back at it again. 

you tell wooyoung to continue with the game as you rush out of your room to get your laptop and sit down with karina, getting down to work which you ignore wooyoung's pleas for not being brainwashed by her.

"huh, where are you going?"

you stop in your tracks when you see your brother rush out of his room, dressed up with his keys jingling in his hand. 

"oh, a few of my old friends are back in town, gonna fetch them." he says and you nod, getting an unsettling feeling about it. "and heads up, since mom and dad are gone for the weekend, they'll be residing here for two days."

you open your mouth to not agree with him but sunghoon cuts you off. 

"yeah and before you go on and off about it, i'll make sure we don't disturb you, geez!" 

yeah that's a lie.

with that, the older boy just rushes off with a brief bye to you, and you're just standing in the corridor, sighing loudly. 

you head into your room and just pick up your laptop as that's what you came originally for until you're stopped by a thought crossing your mind.

were the friends he was talking about are the people he, jay and jake were having a conversation about, a few nights ago. 

you hoped it wasn't, because the mention of the girl sunghoon couldn't stop associating jay with was already make you feel nauseous, and seeing her— you don't think you could do it. 

despite the obvious fact that you both are merely just fuck buddies and besides the fact you've both never addressed the relationship between each other, so that's what you've opted to.

just fuck buddies with no feelings attached. 

but you're getting a feeling that isn't going to stay forever like that. 

a knock on your door is heard and you turn around to see seeun peeking from the door slightly ajar. 

"you were taking so long, wooyoung said you might have passed out and some shit so i came to check," she says and you let out a small laugh. 

inviting her in, you both sat in your bed and you sigh loudly at the heavy feeling in your chest again. you hated when this happened, you don't even like jay romantically so you don't know why you're always so down the moment you hear him being with someone else. 

"is everything okay, you look sad?" 

you sigh even more, and then just decide to tell seeun about it. 

"i don't think i ever told you about it but, i've been into….. with jay for a while now." you admit and seeun just nods, the atmosphere suddenly getting heavier. 

"yeah, i figured— i hear those two talking about it sometimes and i see, " she points at your skin, which is slightly tainted with the older hickeys that you told jay again and again to not make it so obvious. "that," 

"oh, uh," you bite your lips, unsure of how to respond to her statement. you're not sure why she has a gloomy expression on her face when she mentions the hickeys and jay. 

"y/n, you know it's still not too late right?" 

"for?" 

"to stop yourself from getting involved in his mess," she says, frowning. "he's not good news, y/n." 

"seeun, he's really not that bad— trust me," you emphasize with her, defending jay as she nitpicks about him. 

"y/n you just don't see it right? he's not good for you, i'm telling you because i don't want you to get hurt by him!" she whines frustratedly when you're still defending the boy she loathes. 

"what do you know about him, seeun— this habit of yours, talking shit about just anyone has to go." you argue, sighing experatedly when she gets up from the bed and stands before you. 

"okay, so what do you know about him then, y/n? what do you know so much about the boy that just wants to fuck and leave you in the end, that you're defending him so much like this?" 

you're shocked, you don't know why is seeun so heated up about this argument that she's saying shit at this point. 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you scoff, placing your laptop aside as you stare at her with a glare. 

"what did you expect then? i'm telling you that i know his fucking tactics so bad— i'm saving you from the hurt y/n! why can't you just listen when i'm telling you what's good for you?" 

"who are you to tell me what's good and what's bad for me, seeun?" you ask, genuinely confused where she's coming from. you know about jay's reputation, and if anything you've only learned more about him over the weeks. you know he's famous for fucking and leaving but you're the one who wanted this so you have to experience the consequences. 

"fuck, why are you like this, oh my god!" she grunts, gripping onto her hair as she stares at you in disbelief. "he isn't worth this argument, y/n." 

"why are you deciding that seeun— i don't even know why are you so fucking pissed about this, it's ridiculous," you pause. "do you like him, is that it?" 

seeun sighs, deciding that this is the only time she could bring it up, picking to go big or go home. 

"how dense can you be?" she asks, and you snap at her, with an annoyed expression painted on your face.

"being dense is your speciality seeun, because there's literally no any other logical explanation as to why you're so fucking against me liking j—" 

"GOD Y/N FOR FUCKS SAKE— I LIKE YOU!" and as soon as she said that the door bursts open and karina and wooyoung are staring at the two of you in shock. 

you open your mouth and close it back, completely stunned that you were expecting something but seeun confessing that she likes you definitely wasn't what you expected. 

"fuck jay, i don't like him— the one i like is you, and— you're so oblivious to that….." she trails off, tears streaming down her face at this point. you felt guilty all of a sudden at the sight of her crying, but when you reach for her she backs away. 

"i— i'll get going." she says and storms off past you and through karina and wooyoung. when seeun leaves, wooyoung rushes after her to comfort her as karina walks over to comfort you. 

"i didn't even know…." you trail off, falling back onto your bed with a slump, sighing. karina assures you that it isn't your fault, that neither of you guys ever expected that. 

"y/n, don't blame it on yourself— it's not your fault, none of us expected this. if anything we just thought the same as you," she pauses. "that she liked jay… or jake."

you sigh, shaking your head in confusion. you had no idea as to why everyone seemed to be putting you into a tight spot right now, everything pulled up on you. 

"y/n….. don't worry, you can talk it out with her soon.. when she calms down." she paused. "or at least when you both have everything figured out, she basically just confessed to you." 

then she looks at you when your gaze falls onto karina. 

"you have to give her an answer." 

UPON HEARING jake's departure back to gongjin for the rest of summer, you already knew your brother was going to throw a goodbye party. 

he just needed a reason to party. 

and you weren't in the mood for it, not after how things has been going downhill for you after seeun's confession. 

you hadn't seen her in awhile, after the whole fiasco and neither did you make any moves to give her an answer. 

you knew you didn't like her, in a romantic way. seeun has always been nothing more than just a great friend, so when she confessed you just realised and saw the bigger picture later on. 

how she always stuck to you, how she always wanted to hang out just by yourselves, just the two of you, how she knew everything about you from what you liked to what you had an ick for— even the things that karina or wooyoung couldn't care less to bother about. 

and the most obvious clue that gave it all away was how she always reacted when jay's name got brought up in the conversation. how she had always fell silent when the conversation was about the boy you're currently in daze with, and how she'd be annoyed and not interested whenever you spoke about him. 

and how she was totally against the idea of you having jay as your summer fling. 

you wouldn't have guessed a thing even back then, you'd just think she preferred to hang out with you better as she probably would have felt more comfortable than having you hanging out with a guy who has the golden title for fuck and leave. 

so even now, your feelings and how you view seeun hasn't changed a bit. you still love her very much as a friend.

it's clear as day that you don't have feelings for her, at all. what you're not sure of is, why you feel like your heart is already entitled for somebody else, and you're having suspicions that it might be the person you have in mind exactly. 

"is everything okay?" 

you look up at the boy hovering over you as he takes a seat next to you. you spot sunghoon and jake fighting over a gelato flavour by the counter at the front of the store. 

"uh yeah," you reply, smiling at him briefly and then going back to poking at your gelato as it slowly melts due to the hot weather outside the air conditioned store. 

"you don't sound too sure, and that doesn't sound assuring at all." he says, giving you a small squeeze on your hand. 

you sigh at him, feeling your heart beat increase when he flashes you a small smile that gives you a tiny serotonin boost. gosh, at this point you wouldn't be surprised if you were lovestuck and mad in love with him.

just saying…

"something came up— with my friend. it was shocking and my mind is just all over the place…" you say, frowning and jay rubs his thumb over your hand. 

"you can tell me if you want to— it'll help you clear out your mind and i can help if possible?" 

you contemplate for a moment and then shark your head. 

"it's alright, i don't want to burden you jay." you say, and give him a small smile. what happened between you and seeun should stay between you two only, considering how she came out to you by mistake through the confession, you figured it's not your place to be telling everyone her privacy. 

and— you indeed didn't want to burden jay, although he's an amazing listener and you can tell him all your worries in the world and he surely can help you out, if possible like he had said so— speaking from past experience. 

"if that's the case, then sure." he says, and then pats your head lightly, caressing your hair for a second with heart eyes. "don't mind me," 

your eyes widens when he pecks a quick kiss on your lips, igniting a short gasp from you in shock. 

"jay!" you clasp your mouth with your hand, staring at him in shock. "that's risky! what if they co—" 

and he pecks you again after pulling your hand away from your lips. 

"okay? and i'll do it again," he shrugs and you opted to say something before he kissed you again, making you flustered. 

"i'll kiss my baby if i want to," 

"y-your what!" you ask, flabbergasted at the sudden pet name. jay has never used any of those ever before, not even during your intimate moments with him. 

so him using baby casually in you definitely caught you off guard— especially when it rolls of his tongue so easily as if he's used to it, and as if it's meant for you. 

"i said, my baby." he says, taking a bite of his gelato and grinning at you foolishly, as if he's in love. "you're my baby, can't i call my girl that?" 

you take a deep breath, turning around and screaming silently as you tried to keep your cool. 

like, RUCOEKENFB WHATEHFUCKKKKEKRNRNTNRNENENNRBDNER HES SO FCUTYEYEUEE BANGGING NY HEAD AGAISNT THE WAKK STEAES SRTESDMING DMY FACE GIGKGGKING SO HATD SHAKINF MY FEEETTTTTBGODDDDDD HES THE ONE HESS THE ONE FOR TMEEEEEEEEEE. 

just like that, but in your head where your inner mind is threatening to burst and your cheeks hurt from smiling too bright and your heart beating faster than usual and your stomach doing insane flips. 

the symptoms of being in love. 

"you know it's going to be easy to fall for you if you keep on doing that, jay." you say, with the most toned down tone, but your smile beating you to it as soon as you turn around to see jay leaning over the table as he looks at you with the most adored smile. 

the one that has every girl starstruck at first sight. 

"yeah? that's the point. because i'm already head over heels for you," he says, grinning. 

for some reason his sentence gives you a sudden hope, and also a tiny pang that you chose to ignore because right now, fuck getting fake hope, you just want to enjoy this moment. 

"really? that's quick, i guess i'm pretty irresistible after all," 

"that has always been the case for me y/n," 

"jay," you say, sighing at him with a smile. now you'll draw the line and stop the conversation from going further because if it did, then you'd be having an entire procrastination session with yourself and debating if he likes you or not. 

though that shouldn't be the case if you didn't like him, romantically— right?

"shut up or i'll kiss you." 

"then k—" 

and you do, you lean in and place a quick kiss and then pull away giggling when jay is caught off the guard. he smiles at your brighter and pecks you. 

and then you peck him again, and he pecks you and you peck him and he— 

"we're gonna get caught." you say, stopping him which disappointed him a little. 

how much he wished you both would get caught and when sunghoon gives you both his blessings and jay finally makes a move, he can kiss you anytime and anywhere he wants to. 

but he doesn't have that privilege yet. 

"okay, last one." he says and pecks you for the last time before you both see jake running over to the table.

"god sunghoon is such a menace, he has such a bad taste i can't believe you have a brother like that, y/n." he says, catching his breath and sunghoon finally joins beside him and nudges jake's arm, scoffing at him. 

"i got to praise you for keeping up with him, really." jake says, shaking his head and then yelping when sunghoon knocks his head for mocking him. "dude at this rate i'm about to go back with a bump on my head!"

"you're asking for it!"

"not that deep, really sunghoon!"

"so are you guys gonna cut it out or…" jay speaks up, and then looks back and forth between his two brothers like friends. 

"dude? you too! looks like you guys can't wait to just send me off," jake scoffs and bites a spoonful of gelato with an offended glare. 

"sunghoon probably can't wait for sure so he can have all of your bitches," you say, shurgging with a mischievous smile when sunghoon glares at you. "other than that, i'm feeling sad that you won't be here for the rest of the summer." 

"thank you for your appreciation y/n, you're the best, do you want a kiss?" 

you're rolling your eyes at the question when sunghoon goes on and off again, about how you're off limits and how jake is an asshole and how he also doesn't want his bitches because he already has his girl. 

which you opted to ask him about later, seeing how she was back in town as well. 

while on the other hand, you feel a warmth on your thigh which catches you off the guard. 

"what are you doing?" you whisper to jay, who's already looking at you with a small smirk before he leans in by your ear. 

"do you want to?" 

"huh?" eyebrows furrowed, you're confused. 

"jake," he says, and you see him glare at jake for a second and then back to you. "do you want to kiss him?" 

oh..

"would that be a problem?" 

"i don't know, just that jake would never the light of the day if he kissed you," 

you give him a shy laugh, before shaking your head. "then i don't want to kiss him," 

"why? cause he'll never see the light of the day?" 

"no," you deny. "it's because then you'll be fuming with jealousy and i won't get a break from wanting to be kissed by everyone, it's a struggle, really." 

jay nudges his elbow at you while his hand is still plastered on your thigh, rubbing it up and down slowly underneath the table where the action is hidden from your brother and his friend. 

"what are you two doing?" 

you both look up at sunghoon like deer caught in headlights, blinking as if you've both caught red handed. 

"w—" 

"don't tell me you guys are planning to ditch me when he leaves?" 

a breath you were holding had let go when you realized he didn't really realize what you two were doing. with a look of relief you try to move away, to put distance between you two but jay holds your thigh still while talking to sunghoon.

"guess you caught us red handed," 

"fuck you three, can't have shit i'm telling you." 

the three of you burst into laughter and your head falls back which jay realizes is too close to the wall so he puts a hand behind your head to prevent you from bumping into the wall. 

an action that's unnoticed by you but noticed by someone else. 

"anyway, i'm really so annoyed that the girls are coming back right when i'm away— i swear gongjin better be worth it." 

"girls?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows when jake speaks. 

"yeah, our old friends from high school, they're gonna be back in town." sunghoon adds on and a small twisted feeling grows in the pit of your stomach. "some friends that jay might enjoy …" he snickers but the two of you don't. 

and then sunghoon mentions her. 

"dude, seriously it's gonna be crazy like you and mai reconciling— don't gotta worry about being bitchless anymore, won't you?" 

your gaze falls onto the gelato cup, and then suddenly feel like jay's hand is making you uncomfortable in the midst of s conversation about him and another girl, that isn't you. 

it was so unsettling. 

"hoon, i told you i don't have anything to do with her anymore— i don't even… i don't even fuck with her anymore." jay says, indirectly saying he doesn't give a shit about another girl when all he ever needs is you who's slouching next to him with a frown.

"isn't that the point of her coming back though," sunghoon laughs, "like you guys getting back together and reviving what you both left back in highschool?" 

you remove jay's hand off your thigh and leave a gap between you two almost immediately when the air in the store suddenly gets down. jay turns to look at you but you're looking out the window trying to not be bothered by the conversation between your brother and jay. 

in fact, it shouldn't bother you at all. all this while it's been pretty clear to the two of you that the two of you are nothing more than just fuck buddies, so getting jealous and upset at the mention of each other being with another person shouldn't even occur. 

so why exactly where you drowning in jealousy and suddenly out of mood at the mention of mai and jay having history— at the mention of jay finally seeing her again.

countless questions run through your head and it's truly killing jay alive, he knows what's running through your mind and he's unable to stop you with sunghoon at the scene. 

"hoon, i think he's pretty serious bout' this— he's hard on not wanting to fuck with mai again, so drop it." jake says, nudging sunghoon when he's totally dense enough to not read the atmosphere in the room.

"yeah yeah, you say this all the time man," sunghoon points his spoon at jay. "in the end, you're deep into mai just like the old times." 

the conversation alone is enough to make you want to throw up so you abruptly stand up, catching everyone's attention. 

"i'm gonna head home first, i feel unwell." you say and walk past jay while sunghoon calls after you. 

pushing past the door, you exit the store and feel like your face was about to explode. 

"fuck," you sigh, not knowing why exactly why it's even this serious.

"y/n," 

you don't even turn around to know who it is, from the tone and voice it already has you intrigued.

"why are you after me?" 

"i don't want her y/n," 

"why are you telling me that?" you ask him, turning around with a sigh. 

"because you're upset…. sunghoon is just— you know him, i, i don't miss her or want to f—" 

"jay," you say, trying to fight back the urge to cry. "it shouldn't matter whether you miss her, or if you want to….." you trail off, not being able to bring the words out of your mouth about him fucking her. 

"i am not upset, i'm just not feeling well, really," you say, shaking your head and then jay walks to you and places his hand on your forehead which you move backwards away from. 

and that undeniably breaks this heart. 

"y/n w—" 

"jay don't worry about me. i'm being serious, you just…. spend the rest of your day with them, you don't have to come over later." you say, and move to leave but jay holds your hand in his, stopping you in tracks. 

"i want to worry about you, i can't just leave you like this?" 

"jay…." 

"y/n, i'm sorry. please? i'll get sunghoon to stop talking about her if it makes you uncomfortable…" 

"why would you do that? it shouldn't matter if your— if, mai bothers me, which doesn't so," you deny. 

"you're lying, y/n." 

"i'm not, jay—" you frown. "you don't even know me," oh, he really did know you well. 

"then i want to, know you. whatever that makes you feel better, okay? i want to make it better for you so, don't leave like this." 

you sigh, again. unable to slip away from his grasp, you massage your temple as you look at the boy before you. 

"jay, i want to leave, please i don't feel good." 

jay sighs, frowning as he buries the disappointment in his heart deep down as he nods slowly, giving in. 

"okay— let me help you catch a cab at least, please. " you agree, letting him do that before you're leaving the store leaving a sad jay behind. 

he tries to not walk in and just punch sunghoon right in face for never shutting up about mai, like he could literally care less about his past fling, when YOU, the girl he always needed, he's finally got. 

but now sunghoon just had to run his mouth and make you upset, and have you leave the place with things fucked between jay and you. 

groaning, he heads back into the store, trying to not punch sunghoon all the way and after a lot of persuading from jake, he calmed down and spoke to sunghoon, whilst you were on his mind for the most part. 

when you got back home, you were confused while jay's words rang in your head as you collected yourself from the mess.

why did he apologize to you? he didn't have the need to do that, even if you got offended by the mention of mai and jay. it shouldn't have bothered the two of you, jay shouldn't have even had a reason to explain it to you, yet alone ran after you just because you seemed like you were offended. 

you actually were but still.

"fuck," you gasp, cheeks heating up and your stomach churning in, suddenly feeling an unexplainable feeling that you always feel when you're around jay. 

is it possible……… that you…. like …..

him?

CROWDEDNESS has never been your scene, and your friends very well knew it. if anything, the entire summer proved that you preferred being with one person or even alone, away from the sweaty bodies and alcohol smell lingering in the air. 

but jake's farewell party is just as important to you as it is for the rest, including your friends. so it wouldn't have been right to skip it just for the sake of avoiding jay and their new friends joining tonight..

though you were intrigued to see mai and understand sunghoon's hype about her being back. she really can't be all that, right?

"did you hear?" 

you turn around to see wooyoung giggling, and pulling you and karina in to whisper. 

"hear what?" karina asks, but wooyoung shushes her, glaring at her as if it's a secret that's forbidden to be spoken out about. 

"apparently," he says, and then looks at you. "jay's here with his car?" 

"okay and, what about it?" you ask, rolling your eyes at the irrelevant information wooyoung says. 

"what about it? did you forget?" 

karina gasps and then looks at wooyoung, "oh my god," 

"yeah…." 

at this point you're the only one who's oblivious to what's the deal about jay's car until you remember what wooyoung had told you before. about jay's car. 

"oh," 

"OH? THAT'S ALL?" 

"well what am i supposed to do about it? go and talk to him while he's engulfed with mai and get into his car, so i can be the first person to ride it?" 

"well thats possible considering you've ridden other things—" you slap wooyoung's arm with a scoff. 

"dude shut the fuck up," you say, shaking your head at him. "he probably brought his car for mai or whatever, it doesn't matter." you pause. "why are even talking about that anyway," 

karina and wooyoung sigh, and then brings up another topic, before dragging you to the drinks counter to grab drinks. 

"you need to chill, so" karina says, handing you a red solo cup with an unidentified liquid in it. "yes it's alcohol, just drink it." 

"i was not planning to get wasted tonight," 

"yeah but we are so, you can't refuse." wooyoung says, and nudges you. 

"just let loose y/n, summer is ending soon, we won't ever get to go to parties and get shit faced after this, senior year summer only comes one time sooooo!" 

you laugh at karina slurring away, already wasted so quickly and then grab the drink out of her hand and chug it down as the two cheer for you. 

"fuck! that was—" you clear your throat, scrunching your nose when you swallow the last bit of the drink, head frenzy at the sudden rush. "so good, get me another one." 

and the night went on, you successfully avoided your brother and his friends, just dancing and drinking the night away with your two other shit faced friends. 

trying out beer pong, flip cup, drunk jenga, avalanche, never have i ever, truth or dare, and alot more that consisted of getting absolutely wasted— you finally chose to get a break from how your head was pounding already. 

"rina," you giggle at your friend who's taking a shot. she places the glass down and then turns to you with a big smile. 

"y/n my babyyyyyy!" 

you both giggle as you slur, and pinching each others cheeks. 

"i need to shhhhhhhhh" you imitate a pissing sound and she nods, giving you a thumbs up. 

"do you want me to follow you?" 

"no, noooo!" you decline her offer, letting her have fun and you would be fine on your own, not a big deal. "wooyoung will throw a tantrum if he finds out we're gone, stayy!" 

with a nod, you escape the crowded room and make your way upstairs in the not so familiar house. to your surprise, you found out earlier that sunghoon wasn't throwing the party in your house instead at his friend's house which is the current one you're in, though you have no idea who this friend was. 

one thing you know he's gonna dread letting sunghoon throw a party in his house, because the next morning is gonna be ass, and the entire town is invited when sunghoon throws a party.

you finally found the bathroom, and then head in quickly locking the door in case someone decides to walk in and throw up all over you while you're pissing all the liquid you had consumed from earlier. 

you were still tipsy after the quick bathroom trip, considering how much you've been drinking the entire evening. it's actually the most you've ever drank, a new record set. 

when you opened the door, to exit you stopped in tracks of the boy you've been secretly earning to see for the longest time, but your ego was up as an obstacle. 

"y/n," he says, not that he was expecting to see you cheeks flustered and almost no self stability. 

"jaaayyyyeee!" you gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck, catching him by surprise. 

"y/n? what are you doing? somebody might see us—" he's cut off short when you drag him into the nearest room and lock the door behind him before you lean backwards on the wall, looking up at jay. 

you're not sober enough to realise your actions, because clearly if you were sober, you would have sprinted the other way the moment you saw jay and instead of arms locked around him, erotic level skyrocketing through the roof at the sight of him so hot in his iconic leather jacket. 

"it's such a sad thing you're not mine, jay," you sigh, but then chuckle when a hiccup leaves your mouth by surprise. "but im yours right?" 

"yes, always y/n b—" 

"kiss me," 

"y/n wh—" 

"kiss me, jay." you say, and don't wait a second longer before pulling him in and closing the gap between you two, lips locking onto each other as the two of your lips move against each other, like a puzzle piece that was meant to be put together.

jay's hand stays on your waist, it irks you but you're too drunk to bother about it as your hand trails down his chest, and then fingertips touch the silver lining of his skin before he's pulling away.

"y/n, we can't."

"what?" you ask, confused as to why he's saying no— not that it has ever been an issue before for the two of you, and by how he's breathing and the painfully obvious tent in his pants, you're sure he wants it. so what's the issue?

"i don't want you to regret this," 

"jay, this has never been a problem before, what's the issue?" you scoff, crossing your arms as he moves backwards. 

"you're drunk, i'm not going to take advantage of you while you're drunk, y/n…." 

"im not drunk," jay looks at you with a knowing glare and it throws you off. "fine, but i'm sober enough to sleep with you so i don't see a problem here." 

"we're not even on good terms, let's talk it out first," he says, and you sigh, shaking your head. 

"what's there to talk about? you shouldn't even care, jay. we're not even that serious to talk things out between us," you say, but it just sounds like you're slurring words and the way jay is looking at you says it all. 

"you're just saying anything now— forget it, let's talk about it when you're sober y/n." 

you push jay's hand off when he comes to hold yours, "are you serious right now?" 

"w—" 

"no, jay. why can't you just fuck and leave like you always do, after all, aren't we just fuck buddies? there shouldn't be anything between us like this. all we should be doing is fu—" 

"what the fuck y/n." jay scoffs, in disbelief at the words straight coming out of your mouth. "are YOU for real right now?" 

"well does it look like im joking? I don't get why it's such a big deal to you now, just d—"

a knock interrupts you both and the voice that speaks from the other side of the door, has you enraged.

that seemed to definitely sober you up, worse than an advil on a hangover morning. 

"jay? are you in there? someone said they saw you go in there, you left me all alone." 

it's mai, the infamous mai. 

"so that's why it's an problem now, right?" you ask, pushing his hand away and turning around to leave but jay holds you back, which you yank it off yourself. 

"don't touch me," you scoff and open the door to a ginger, staring at the two of you confused but smiles when she sees jay. then the smile drops when she sees you, with him. 

"y/n w—" 

without a second of letting him continue what he was saying, you storm out of the room leaving both jay and mai behind staring at you. 

mai attempts to grab jay who's running after you but the annoyed look he gives her when she shoves her is enough to has her lips shut.

"ah, what the fuck? who even is she?" mai whines, holding in her annoyance at the boy she has been head over heels for. 

"his," she turns around to see jake, looking at her with a smug smirk. "first love." 

"what? that's not possible? i'm his first love?" 

"that's what you think," jake shurgs. "but she's the one he's gonna leave his one day girl for his day one girl— the one that jay has always liked, so you're pretty much not even in the story mai." 

mai scoff at what she thinks jake's being a dick of, though that's the plain truth and he's right. jake watches her storm off before he finally goes back to sunghoon, hoping jay finally gets it right this time. 

when he arrived at the front yard, he realized you're nowhere to be found and his heart starts beating in anxiousness. the what if's running in his head as he's looking around for has him wanting to pass out. 

he knows you're not in the frat house anymore because clearly you're smart enough to not stay there and he saw you leaving the house anyway. 

taking out his keys, he immediately runs over to his car and pulls it out of the driveway, earning curious looks from the attendees in the front. 

sighing, you rub your head. it feels like you woke up from a nap that cleared the drunkenness up in you and you're sober enough to feel the embarrassment and heartbreak you just went through.

you should have known it was always mai, whether or not you came along first or later and the embarrassment of his declining to fuck you was even worse than the time you accidentally moaned out too loud and jay held onto that to tease you for a straight week. 

the weather wasn't helping either, wearing a dress wasn't exactly ideal for tonight. seeing how chilly it was, it looked like it was about to rain too from how cloudy the sky was.

and then the first drop falls, then the next, then it starts drizzling and before you know it, it's literally pouring and you're just walking in the rain, being the most pathetic person in the planet at the moment while the guy you have grown fond and like is blocks away, probably legs tangled in sheets with another girl. 

a honk surprises you when a pair of headlights come into view, making you turn around. 

maybe you were wrong. 

the car stops right behind you and your heart stops when he steps out of it, running towards you as he gets soaked in the rain. 

he grabs your arm and tries to shield you from the rain but you yank his grip off you.

"what the fuck are you doing? it's raining, y/n are you insane?" he asks, and reaches to hold you again but step back. 

"why are you after me? since when whether or not i'm insane mattered to you jay? go back to mai or something," you say turning around to go the other way but jay stops you by moving in front of you.

"let's talk this out, inside. you're gonna catch a cold, y/n." 

"god, why do you even care! you're not even my brother!" 

jay's chest heaves, and you watch him sigh before shaking his head. 

"trust me y/n, when it comes to you— i'm most definitely not thinking like a brother would." 

"leave me alone, jay— which part of that do you not get?" you scoff, letting the words you don't mean leave your mouth out of anger when you meant none of it. 

and then he snaps. 

"FOR GOD'S FUCKIN' SAKE— GET IN!" his voice echoes through the rain and you stare at him in absolute shock. you absolutely pushed the wrong button when you see the pissed off expression he has on his face. 

realizing you weren't going to move anytime soon, jay grabs your hand, leading you into his car and letting you into the passenger seat. 

the immediate air conditioning in the car sends chills down your spine, right after getting soaked in the rain. jay gets in not long after, and lowers down the air-conditioning then he reaches behind and grabs, what you examine is a jacket. 

you lock eyes with him as he puts his jacket over you as he locks you in with the seatbelt, and in a swift he looks away before changing the gear and speeding down the road. 

you both don't say anything pretty much for the most part, especially when he's practically speeding— you don't wish to push his limits even more than you already shouldn't have. 

and you know you shouldn't be shameless, but the situation had you in a tight spot. pissed off jay is…… something. 

you know wooyoung would have knocked some sense into you for being absolutely ridiculous at the worst moment but you couldn't help it. 

jay drives into your neighborhood and you've never been more glad to escape jay when you see your house come into view. 

when he parks, you hold onto the door handle but when you pull it, you realize the lock isn't unlocked. 

"can you unlock?" 

"no— not until we sort this out." 

"i don't want to talk or sort this out jay, there's nothing to address."

he turns to face you and your heart stops because one, he was insanely gorgeous under the streetlights and the led light in his Mercedes making him look so fucking hot, and expensive. 

even after getting soaked in the rain. 

"nothing to address? are you being dense on purpose or what— it's bothering me." 

you remain lip-tight shut, staring at him in silence before he speaks up again. 

"you didn't even hear me you, you just left like that do you know i felt? i was so fucking scared something might have happened to you—"

"when did you even care?" you laugh, and then turn to look at him. "why do you care? like i said, aren't we just friends with benefits, considering how all we've ever done is just fuck?" 

jay looks at you, hurt displayed all over his face but you go on.

"the fact you're acting like you care, it's giving me hope jay. you need to stop doing that and just tell right, what am i to you and what we are." you pause, "you— you're just, a summer fling." 

before you could sigh, your lips are taken by jay, catching you by surprise, but as always, like it always has been that way, you kiss him back. this time like it's your last kiss, like you're never going to kiss him ever again. 

jay slips his hand onto your cheek, holding your face as he moves his lips against yours, a tear slipping past your eyes, coating the previous rain water on your face. 

you both pull away, catching from each other's breath, foreheads leaning against each other. you look into his eyes and he's already looking at you, and your eyes get glossy as your heart breaks. 

you didn't quite understand what he was trying to tell, you didn't know if what you were doing was right as well. 

"look me in the eyes, y/n." he says, almost like a whisper in the defeating silence, the only sound is the sound of the raindrops hitting his car outside. "and tell me if what we had was nothing to you."

"and, if i really am— just a summer fling?" 

you go silent, your gaze falls to your hands and you nibble on your lower lip, trying to find words to tell him wrong but none comes into your mind. 

because everything you did with him was never, nothing. and jay, is simply not just a summer fling anymore.

maybe at the beginning he was, but overtime when time went on, everything between the two of you changed. 

because summer flings who fuck each other don't get butterflies from just holding hands, or do you come all the way to your home just because you said you're not feeling too well instead of just wishing a get well soon. 

summer flings who fuck who's hearts don't flip when they kiss each other, or get all giddy when one calls another by a sweet pet name.

nor do they get jealous when a third person comes into the relationship, nor to they find themselves explaining when not even needed, especially when all the other person to them is just a summer fling. 

"because to me you're not— just a summer fling, y/n. i've liked you since day one, ever since the day you spoke to me when sunghoon brought me back to your home for the first time ever." 

the feeling you're feeling right now making you want to pull in jay and kiss him, making all ends meet just to get him as yours— but, is that really how it is supposed to be? 

"w—we can't…" you trail off, sighing as you pull away your forehead from jay's. jay holds your hand, not letting you go, keeping you in his warmth on the cold rainy night. 

"is this because of sunghoon?" 

it's always been because of sunghoon. whenever it came to your private love life it had always been because of sunghoon. 

to the point where'd you think he just didn't want you to have a pleasant life, where you'd have a boyfriend in. but you understand where he's coming from, as a brother it's only natural he'd want to protect his sister from all those sleazy guys out there. 

but constantly wrecking every single chance you had? that's not it. 

and the fact jay is sunghoon's best friend doesn't help any better. 

your expression plastered on your face just says it all for jay, he sighs and pressed your hands together, giving you reassurance. 

"i'll take care of it, don't worry." 

"that's not it, jay. it's sunghoon…. i can't betray him like this.." 

"then what about you?" 

"what?" you blink, looking back up at him. 

"then what about yourself? it's always been like this, you've never actually done anything in favor for yourself, either sunghoon always held you back from it or you don't do it because of him." he says, "when will you start doing what your heart wants, y/n? sunghoon can't hold you back forever."  

"chose to do what your heart wants, y/n. it'll be worth it— like who you want to like, date who you want to date, go out with who you want to, kiss who you want to—" he pauses, then looks at you with a small smile. "only if that person is me or i'll side with sunghoon for this one." 

you let out a laugh, slapping jay's arm, heart fluttering at his words. he smiles when you do, his heart flutters when he heard your laugh after a while, giving him a sort of assurance. 

you look out the window, and see it's stopped pouring already, just light drizzling but safe enough to walk out in. 

"i should go now, it's getting late." you say, sighing as you go back into your dilemma. you place your hand on the handle, this time a whole different emotion that before. "i'll think about….. what you said, jay." 

he gives you a short smile before unlocking the door and getting out before you, then opening the door for you to step out on right after he ends the engine. when you step out, it's almost so chilly that you get goosebumps despite having jay's jacket around you.

he walks you up all the way to your doorstep, you give him a small look before heading in and a huge sigh leaves you. 

he's right, you should do what your heart desires, and you did either way this happening at some point in you two's relationship throughout summer. 

back then it was just a small thing, like— what sunghoon doesn't know wouldn't hurt him but things have changed. 

you two no longer are just two people who fool around, fucking. you're both now aware of the feelings towards each other, and if jay was ready to give it up, why couldn't you?

sunghoon is to worry about later, but now— if you don't make your move now, then you might just end up losing jay forever. 

you know what you want now, what your heart wants now— more than anything, for once & for all.

it's more than clear that he's not just a summer fling anymore, you turn around, fingertips wrapped around the door handle once again, before you pull it open and step out. 

jay's jacket falling off your shoulders, onto the floor before you step down the porch and run back to jay. 

your chest collides with his back as you wrap your arms around him, taking in his warmth again. 

caught by surprise jay turns around to see you, looking down at you in shock as to why you're hugging him just right after he sent you off. 

"y/n—"

"jay." 

"this is my answer." in a swift, you pull him by his shirt, connecting your lips with his, eyes fluttering shut while your hearts fluttered like butterflies had been set free in you. 

jay's lips turn upwards, smiling against yours, arms wrapping around your waist as he tilts his head for more access. jay pulls away first, letting his forehead rest against yours like moments from before, as you both catch your breaths. 

"i promise it'll be worth it." he says, muttering against your lips and looking up at you. 

"then," you say, pausing before you slip your hand under his shirt briefly, making him look down and then back at you. "prove it." 

smirking, he gives you a small kiss, before letting you take his hand in yours and lead you back into your house. 

maybe this once, you're grateful that your parents were away and sunghoon was nowhere to be found.

hands in each others grasp, you both head up the stairs, giggles heard as you both get into your room and jay locks the door behind you as soon as your back hits the wall. 

his lips immediately latch onto your neck while your hands trail up his chest then lock your hands behind your neck, gripping the hair on the nape of his neck.

jay holds your waist on one, the other on your neck. the moment you feel his touch on you, your body feels electrified with love and lust. the air is getting thick with tension and immediate lust. 

you've never felt more alive now, and so does jay now. he feels even more alive now, with his lips on your skin, hands around your body— he's never felt more alive ever, not even when he's on the tracks in his second most prized possession. 

but nothing can compare to you, for him, you're his number one priority and prized possession.

the both of you pull away and stare at each other when you two realise it's time you need more. but this time, it's more than just fucking— you're both making love, a genuine one. 

"up," jay mutters against your lips, before connecting it back again when you jump a little and he catches you. carrying you to the bed, he lays you down without breaking the kiss. 

the moment you do, jay only pulls away to practically tear his shirt off, leaning towards you on top of you.

"i'm yours to keep, and i'm yours to lose, y/n." he says, sighing in relief before placing his lips onto yours, again. "i'm— yours." 

SUNLIGHT BLOOMING INTO your room to through the seeps of your curtains seemed to be the first thing you see when you blink awake. you don't recall a good night's sleep like the one you just woke up from. 

for a moment you almost regret waking up from such a magnificent sleep, but when you shift to your right and met with what seemed to be hard as a walk of bricks, your regret is washed away almost immediately. 

rubbing your eyes, you blink a few more times to realize finally what it was. toned chest? a naked one too…. 

then it hits you. the memories from the night before.

"you're awake," 

your eyes widens and your heart beats like crazy at how raspy jay's morning voice was— so fucking hot. the wetness from last night almost came back between your thighs. 

"oh— uhm, yeah." you say, looking up at him, with a smile. he greets you with a small smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before sighing. 

"what?" you ask him, but he just shakes his head only to intrigued you more. "jay!" you tap his arm, but he shakes his head again. 

you sit up, pulling the sheets up with you to cover your chest as you're not dressed yet after last night's event. 

"you're telling me now or i'll kick you out." you say, with a pout which has jay almost kicking the air at, from how cute you looked like. 

"it's just— i'm a little jealous of people." 

"please elaborate jay," you say, eyebrows furrowed together. 

"how can they get to see your beauty for free— seriously, everyone should be paying to see you." he says, and a smile creeps up his face when your face heats up at the compliment.

you hit your pillow on him, laughing at the way he blocks it. "you're so corny!" 

"what! I'm just telling you the truth," he says, putting his hands up to defend himself before he sits up on the bed, the sheets covering up to his v line. 

you try to not lose your shit at how gorgeous he looked as well, the bed hair doing more than enough to make you want to punch your first in the air, fangirling about him. 

"well is it not true then?" he asks, smiling at you. "i'm pretty sure i can compliment my girl if i want to, and because she deserves it too." he shrugs. 

my girl. god, that only makes you want to kiss him so bad even more. 

but that makes you wonder— where do you both stand now, what exactly were you two now. 

"i can already tell what you're thinking, y/n." he says, pulling you towards him, making you sit on his lap as you look at him with those starry eyes. 

"you're like an open book, easy to read." he says, caressing your cheeks. "but, this is not the way i wanted to ask you out— i wanna do it in a more perfect way, not in the morning after i fucked your brains out." 

you push his arm slightly rolling your eyes at the mention of both of your actions last night. 

"but, to me," you pause. "anything is perfect when it's with you, jay." 

he smiles at you, his other hand holding your hand in his, thumb rubbing over your hand. 

"everything is perfect because you're already perfect, y/n." 

"i said stop being corny." 

"i'll be corny if i want to—cause no matter how corny it is, i mean every single one of it, love." he says, giggling. 

"but, i don't think i want to be just friends, or fuck buddies with you anymore, if it's not obvious yet." he says, smiling up at you as he speaks. "i want to be more than that. i want to do everything with you, even if i'm not your first, i want to be your last and forever y/n." 

you nod, tears brimming up in your eyes at his words, it's all perfectly overwhelming, just what you loved. 

"i'll promise to treat you right, i'll make you happy, and i promise to make every single moment with you worth it." he says, connecting his fingers between yours. "and you know, i always keep my words." 

"i know." you say, smiling back at him. 

"so what do you say, y/n y/l/n— will you, go out with me?" he asks, "a date you'll never forget, i swear." 

you blink away the tears, realizing perhaps maybe you're overreacting but truly, you've never felt this way towards anyone else before so it's only natural you're feeling this way at the moment. 

"my answer is…….." you trail off, looking at him before placing your hand on top of his chest, and then kissing him on the cheek. "yes." 

jay breaks out into a big smile, the one that makes your heartbeat faster and flutter. 

he couldn't ask for more than this moment. 

COUNTLESS OF DILEMMA have you encountered but nothing like the one you're having at the moment. 

which dress should you wear? 

jay told you he'd pick you up in the evening and you had barely even two hours left to get ready but you're having a dress crisis right now and you have no idea how to solve it. 

sure red complimented your skin tone but it's too bold for just a night out. but if you picked the white flowy one, it's too casual if he pulls up to a fancy restaurant which you'd feel too underdressed to. 

even after asking jay for the theme, he told you to dress whichever made you comfortable and not to worry much about the date.

but here you were, close to ripping your hair out because you needed to look gorgeous tonight. it's your first ever date with him.

eventually after a lot of procrastinating and debating with yourself, you decided to just go for the white sundress the simple choice is always the best— besides, it's broad daylight so you figured to not stress much about it, and even if jay took you to an expensive restaurant, it wouldn't matter, as long you're with him. 

by the time you were done, jay had arrived at your place and sunghoon was out again, so it just made sneaking out with jay easier. 

"holy…." jay gasps, hand flying to his mouth as he stares at you when he gets off leaning against his car. 

you immediately start to panic by how he's staring at you— were you not dressed for the occasion?

"what? am i in the wrong dress code?" you ask, your heart dropping at the thought of ruining the date already. 

"no…." jay finally speaks up, as his hand falls to his side and the other one holds a bouquet you hadn't noticed. "y/n, you're gorgeous." 

your lips curve up into a smile as your heart beats against its cage, so fast you're afraid it might burst out of you. 

"thank you, jay." you say, thanking him and then you take in his appearance. it's a surprise to you why he hasn't agreed to being a model at this rate despite being scouted by countless companies.

he seemed to look absolutely gorgeous as well in the white shirt with sleeves he had rolled up his arms showing off the hard work of him hitting the gym often with his black hair slicked back, one strand hanging out yet making him drop dead handsome. 

"you look amazing too," you say, coming up to him and pecking him softly on the lips before you two giggle at the adorableness. 

"here, i got this just for you, my beautiful girl." he says, handing you the bouquet of white roses, and god, did it make you feel like you were on cloud 9. 

"these are really pretty." you say, staring at them in awe, like it's the prettiest flowers you have ever seen in the entire planet earth. while on the other hand, jay was looking at you as if you were the most prettiest in the entire planet earth. 

"i know, but— nothing beats your beauty." 

"stop!!" you whine, getting embarrassed as you hide your face behind the bouquet, giggling when jay takes your hand in his. 

"god, you're so cute." he says, smiling at you before he ushers you into his car and you both set off for your date. 

you two stop by a bakery first, for a light breakfast because according to jay, you'd two be walking a lot and when you arrived at the destination, you finally understood why. 

you didn't know if he was aware of it, but he probably had no idea how long you desired a date like this, and how long it's been in your bucket list for. 

an aquarium date. 

you think you can gladly pass out in peace after the date. 

"huh?" you ask, looking at jay when he slings a small bag that seemed to be tiny and fitting for a camera— a camera case/bag?

"i brought it with me today, just for you, " he says, pointing at the camera with a smile. 

"oh, it looks really old though." you say, noticing how ancient it looked. perhaps it was passed down in his family? must be it, or he could've gotten a limited edition, antique one— it wasn't entire impossible. 

"yeah, it's my family's— a tradition actually." he says, and you nod along as jay proceeds to explain further. 

"in my family, there's this thing where for every first date moment, the guy in our family takes this camera along to capture the moment. at first i thought it was pretty much just a thing we had going on, but like— i heard it was also like a good luck item so, everyone who bought this along during their dates eventually got together in the end." 

"oooooh," you say, amazed at his explanation. "that sounds great! and very cute but—" you stop, and turn to look at him just as you both were about to enter the aquarium. 

"everyone really got together at the end?" 

jay smiles at you, then pats your head softly with love. 

"i see you in my future, so i hope that gives you an answer." he says, and the  takes your hand in his before taking you into the aquarium while hearts were practically flying around the two of you with big smiles plastered on each other's face. 

jay couldn't help but admire you the entire time, how cute you looked, staring at the sea life animals in awe with your starry eyes. the blue light radiating off the water in the dim made you look absolutely gorgeous. 

taking his camera up to his face to capture the moment, his heart dwells when you turn around in time with a big smile. 

click!

"hey! that's enough for me, let me take some of you!" you say, and practically forcing jay to give you the camera when he finally gave in, you made him stand right before the giant thick glass, just right behind a group of fish swimming back. 

such a perfect moment to be captured. 

click!

and in that moment, when he flashes his pretty smile, your heart skips a beat, and you realize that— you see jay in your future as well.

BY THE END OF THE DATE, you two were practically worn out, but by the sound of how loud your stomachs were growing, you two decided to bail out on a reservation jay made and quickly head to a nearby restaurant. 

good for the two of you, the place seemed to be good enough and it wasn't rush hour yet so you both immediately settled down in there. 

the waiter had successfully ushered you two to a table where you both sat down and enjoyed your meal for the most. 

"we got enough time," jay says, after chugging down his water. 

"enough time for?" you ask, staring at him and cheeks filled of food that jay finds undeniably adorable.

right after dinner, getting into his car, jay drove you to somewhere really far off the coast. you enjoyed the majority of the ride there, songs blasting as you both sang along to the lyrics and laughing each other's ass off at the wrong lyrics and broken high notes. 

"we're here." 

getting out of the car, you slip off your shoes and leave in his car before running off to the beach. jay follows behind you, with a smile on his face as he watches how gorgeous you looked so carefree, your hair caressed by the wind and your silhouette absolutely gorgeous.

beach trips at almost midnight might not be the most ideal but jay had remembered how you had it in your bucket list, so here he was with you, fulfilling it for you. 

he doesn't say anything when he catches up next to you, instead he just watched how you admire the ocean with sparkly eyes and how beautiful you looked at the moment wherein the moonlight reflecting on your face, brightening up the night.

"it's so beautiful," you say, taking in how beautiful the ocean looked in the eerie hours of the night. 

"yeah," he says. 

you turn to agree with him on the view but when you do, you're shocked to see him just looking at you with awe, instead of looking at the ocean. 

in midst of the sound of the waves moving around and water crashing off the shores, jay speaks up. and in that moment, everything else blocks out and all you hear is him, like it's only the two of you in the entire world. 

"stunning." 

flashing him a smile, you take his hand in yours, and the other cup his cheeks before you lean in and place your lips onto his. jay intertwined his fingers in yours, pulling you by your waist closer to him.

the adrenaline from your near fall is pumped through your system, pushing your heart rate into unhealthy territory. each movement is equivalent to the more your feelings get more in the moment.

you pull away first from out of breath but the way jay places a single kiss on your cheek and then pulling you into a hug convinced you that you'd continue the kiss if oxygen didn't matter. 

"i never want to lose you, y/n. i mean it." he says, and you wrap your arms around him. 

"i never want to lose you either, jay nor do i want to give you up in any circumstances." 

he pulls away and then looks at you. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way?" 

you give him a small squeeze on his arm before placing a small kiss on his cheek in return. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way." you say, and he pats your head softly, like he's caressing the world's best treasure. 

for some reason, the look he gives at the time, it gives you reassurance and hope that he truly means it, from the bottom of his. deciding to not say anything further you just give him a small smile.

turning around, he keeps his arms locked around your waist while you both stared off into the ocean, letting silence overtake the two of you. 

the night couldn't have ended any better. 

EVEN JAKE'S DEPARTURE hadn't hurt you as much as the news you had received from karina. that had only been the tip of the iceberg in the summer. 

"like it's supposed to be the time of our lives but leaving high school sounds unreal to me," wooyoung says, sighing against his seat in the diner. 

you twirl the straw in your smoothie cup with another sigh to accompany it.

"no for real, cause what are we actually gonna do when high school ends….. like grad and then!" he continues, mumbling in misery. 

you agree with wooyoung, the past few years had been so repetitive you're not sure if ending high school is a joyful experience or leaving you in a dilemma. 

perhaps back a few months ago when you were studying your ass off for finals, you might've been glad to end it for once and for all. 

but now that you're here, with your friends in a diner that had always been your local hangout spot, enjoying the very few last moments of you guys together. 

without, seeun. 

you've successfully avoided her for about a week now, and since you hit off with jay— but you do feel sad whenever she's not around whenever you guys would hang out at times. 

"uhm," you hear someone clear their throat and when you look up, your jaw almost drops to the floor. but you can't exactly blame yourself, wooyoung and karina had the exact same reactions as well.

"seeun?" 

as if the universe has been listening to your thoughts, you couldn't quite believe she was actually here after what had happened. and to be honest, the look she had plastered on her face, it was giving you mixed feelings. 

"sorry for showing up." .

"why are you sorry?" you ask, looking up at her as the other two stare at you, in shock. "you shouldn't be sorry for coming to hang out with your friends." 

"if anything, we should be sorry for not calling you along whenever y/n is with us…." karina says, finally popping the secret. she nudges wooyoung and he speaks up as well. 

"yeah, we just felt like you two needed time apart from each other…… after, what happened?" 

seeun just smiles at wooyoung and nods, not having any hard feelings. as rebellious as these two can be, seeun understands where wooyoung and karina are coming from. 

"i know, what you guys mean and where you guys are coming from.." she says, nodding. 

karina gives you a look you couldn't quite comprehend before she drags wooyoung to stand up with her and moves out of the booth before pushing seeun down to sit before you. 

"well, it seems like you guys need to have something to talk out, so we'll get going! just let us know when you guys are home!" karina says, and pulls wooyoung away after waving at you and seeun. 

"RINA NO I WANNA KNOW THE TEA—" wooyoung's screams are muffled as he gets further away from the booth leaving you two alone. 

sudden silence takes over you two as you both try to say something but nothing is leaving your mouths. when you decide to address the issue while picking at your nail, seeun seems to beat you to it. 

"i'm sorry." 

"seeun.." 

"no y/n, i just— hear me out first alright?" she says, and you just nod along as you listen to her before leaning back in your seat. 

"i am sorry, for what happened. i shouldn't have been selfish and just thought of myself and prioritized my feelings— i should have taken your feelings into consideration. and after, reflecting on what happened, i apologize for still bursting out at you, and still— growing feelings for you despite you making it clear that you were into jay, and getting mad at you for not acknowledging my feelings was just immature…" 

you two fall into another silence again before you understand that she's ready for you to response and say something back. 

"i, first of all— seeun, you shouldn't invalidate your feelings. your feelings must be an priority, of course to you, what i feel comes next— but i admit, i was offended at the fact you just bursted out at me like that but, still— saying you were selfish for liking me is unreasonable." you pause, giving her a small smile before continuing. 

"you can't help who you like, your heart wants what it wants, and you can't stop that. but just because you like someone, it doesn't necessarily mean they'd like you back." 

"you just said the most brutal thing in the most calm way, it helps with my heartbreak." seeun says, chuckling and you give her a sympathetic smile before putting your hand over the table and giving her a small squeeze. 

"i, will need some time. to move on from you, but you're a really great person, y/n— anyone would be beyond lucky to have you." 

you nod, smiling at her a little bit brighter. you just know jay would go frenzy to see you smiling like this at the moment. 

"and so are you, anyone would be blessed to have you as their partner— you're really amazing, but i'm sorry that person can't be me…" you say, whispering the last part but it doesn't go unnoticed by seeun. 

"cause that person for you, is already jay."

you look up, stunned at how she found out but she just laughs it off. 

"it's the talk of the town, even if you didn't tell me— i would've known either way, wooyoung has a big chatterbox mouth." 

you laugh at her commentary, before screaming your soul out when the mentioned boy jumps from behind your seat, scaring you in the process. 

"you're talking shit about me? really seeun, in my opinion you shouldn't be saying that when y—" 

karina walks up behind him, slapping his arm making him wince in pain. 

"tell me she isn't right, seeun you're so correct about that so ignore this menace." she says, and sitting next to seeun while wooyoung slips next to you in the booth. 

"were you eavesdropping wooyoung?" 

"what no!" 

"yes he was." 

you four burst into laughter when wooyoung's lie is immediately shut down by karina's truth. 

"ugh! you're just so!" 

"yeah yeah shut up!!!" 

"anyway, summer is ending soon," you say, cutting the two bickering friends off and they immediately turn their attention to you. "grad is soon, how do we feel about that?" 

"im sad," 

"no shit sherlock." 

and the conversation goes on for the rest of the day as you four catch up on all the missed contents and stuff you guys would usually catch up on, that you and seeun are finally on good terms again. 

however when you head back home and immediately receive a call from jay, you were definitely not expecting to see him showing up at your doorstep with a legit black eye in the middle of the night.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" 

jay walks into your house without a single explanation while you keep asking him on and on about what happened but he didn't budge until you got into your room, door locked. 

"are you not gonna say a thing? or do i have to figure it out myself before i lose my shit." you scoff, patience on this line and your heart aching when you see your boyfriend with a black eye clearly hurting.

jay sighs, and then takes your hand in his as he looks at you. 

with one eye. 

because it's really that severe. 

"just promise me you won't get mad." 

"just fucking tell me already!" 

he pauses, and then sighs before just deciding to pop the secret. "it's, sunghoon. he found out." 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you ask, in absolute shock that your brother would do this. 

"y/n, just calm down first— it's a given he got mad and—" 

"NO? IM NOT CALMING DOWN?" you scoff, yanking your hand off his grasp, stunned at how he's telling you to calm down. 

"y/n—"

"no, jay— listen, i am not calming down. that doesn't exist in my vocabulary at the moment because you can't fucking serious right now. sunghoon just gave you a fucking black eye and you're chill about it?" 

"well, at least you can brag that i took a swing for you." 

you sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you look back at him, not sure whether to get annoyed or to feel sorry that your brother gave him a black eye just because he found his best friend was fucking his little sister for an entirety of this summer. 

"I can't believe you're not being serious right now, i'm losing my mind jay— what if something else had happened? what if you got seriously hurt, like actually hurt? god, jay…" you whine, unable to look at him and the injury any longer so your eyes starts tearing him for him, it's as if the pain from the black eye he's feeling, you're feeling it too. 

"y/n," jay chuckles lightly, pulling you into a hug and rubbing his hand over your back, calming you down. "i'm sorry for making you worry, baby."

you hit his chest as you collected your tears, trying to not lose it even more that he's considerate of you, and making this about you instead of him, the one who got hurt in the first place. 

jay's light laugh vibrates through his chest making you pull away your head from his chest while still being in his hold with his arms around your body as you look up at him.

"don't worry, i'm really fine. it was expected for sunghoon to take a swing at me the moment he saw me at the arena, after hearing the news." jay, explains as he pats your head softly with a small smile. 

you sigh, the urge of crying finally leaves but rage takes over when you think of the audacity your brother has to do this. 

"im gonna fucking kill park sunghoon." 

jay pulls you back into a hug, laughing as he runs his fingers through your freshly washed hair. perhaps his fingers would smell like cherry and blossoms because of your conditioner, but he wouldn't mind when he smells like you. 

"you're so cute when you're mad." 

"don't get me started on you jay park, why didn't you punch him back! don't say you did, because i know damn well you didn't," your gaze flicks to his knuckles to find bruises but it was squeaky clean, and when you looked back jay is already looking at you dumb foundedly. 

"im not gonna punch sunghoon, y/n. not now, or ever." 

"will you just lose an eye to him then?" 

"if it means i can have his blessings to date his gorgeous sister." you glare at him with a slight pinch in his bicep that freaks him out. 

"you're so…" sighing you just decided to drop it, knowing jay and how he is, he'd probably figure a way outta this. "just, let's get you cleaned up AND THEN, we talk about this." 

you rush over to your bathroom and get the first aid kit under your sink, making your way back to jay. you make him sit on the edge of your bed as you get between his legs while he man spreads. 

the way his lips are turning upwards already makes you know what he's trying to do. 

"no funny business, park." you warn him, "or else your dick will be the one getting the first aid next." 

when you lean down towards him to treat his black eye, jay pecks you in a swift, catching you off guard.

"i said no funny business!" 

"this isn't funny business to me, i'm just kissing my girlfriend, is that funny to you?" 

"jay!" 

it was gonna be long night, for sure. 

WHEN SUNGHOON CAME HOME the next day, all you could see was red but sunghoon saw worse than red to see jay leaving your room right when was back home. 

"no fucking way— you're ridiculous." 

you and two turn around to find sunghoon staring at the two of you, baffled with his arms crossed. and that's when your blood starts boiling. 

"su—." 

"keep," sunghoon pauses, looking directly at jay and his treated wound, before turning to you with a scoff. "my s— your girlfriend out of this." 

"y/n." 

"jay, no." 

sunghoon just laughs dryly, shaking his head.

“a fucking lovers quarrel, this gotta be a dream." 

"sunghoon i'll fucking kill you if you say another word." 

"go ahead, kill me y/n. go and kill me, for your boyfriend that i clearly reminded you about thousands of times to stay away from— but sure, you chose to be an fucking idiot and still go against my words." 

"why should i listen to you!" 

"because im your fucking brother for god's sake and i know how my friends are that's why i told you to stay the fuck away from them!" sunghoon yells, throwing his helmet to the ground, making a loud thud echo through the house and jay pulling you behind him. 

sunghoon couldn't believe his eyes, did jay just shield you away from your brother. must be a sick ass joke he thinks you two are pulling.

"dude, keep it down." 

"keep it down? how do i keep it down seeing my own bestfriend go behind my back and date my sister that i clearly told him multiple times that she's off-limits?" sunghoon scoffs in disbelief, not seeming to calm down anytime soon either. "and my sister, betraying my trust and fucking around with my bestfriend? seriously?" 

"for god sake it's not a big deal, hoon! what's a big deal is the fact you gave jay a black eye, over this?" 

sunghoon rolls his eyes, and then glares at you and then jay. "surely it's not a big deal, you must've had so much fun making me a fool all this while right y/n? jay?" 

you open your mouth to speak up but jay beats you to it. 

"fucking hell dude, the only reason i'm holding back right now is her— stop being such an asshole and see the bigger picture, you're being an idiot." 

"an idiot? you wanna lose another eye, park?" 

"both of you, cut it out." you say, tears brimming up in your eye. 

"jay, just don't— and sunghoon, i'm speechless. you're being absolutely selfish right now, like you're not even thinking of me? about how i feel, about what i want— how is it just what you feel and what needs to go your way?" 

"you've never once thought about me, what i actually want— and the one time i can finally have it, you're out to ruin it? god, how much worse can this get? how far will you go to ensure i’m never happy, hoon?"

sunghoon immediately goes silent as he stares at you, heartbreaking in the process at tears streaming down your face. 

"at least, this time— just let me be it. whether i get my heart broken, or whatever that happens, i'll be glad i was happy even if it's for  a moment in summer. " you say, and wipe away your tears. you see sunghoon flinch to comfort you but he stops himself when he senses you not wanting to be near him anytime soon. 

moving aside from sunghoon, you take jay in your hand and lead him out of your house. when you head back to your room after bidding jay goodbye and convincing him you'd be fine after a lot of "are you sure?" and "i can stay, or you can come with me", he finally left. 

by the time you did, sunghoon was longer by the door anymore, you guess he had gone back to his room probably deciding to collect on his thoughts after the burst out. 

although it's supposed you make you feel relieved now that the cat is out of the bag, you somehow feel anxious about the outcome and how you're gonna have to cope with it by the time summer ends and you have to leave for college. 

"DUDE YOU'RE NOT LYING, RIGHT?" 

sunghoon stares at his friend who's looking back with shock and well, disappointment and the vague of tiredness shown on his face. 

well, who wouldn't be tired when they're woken up in the middle of the night by their friend showing up at their doorstep, looking like he had just murdered someone..

"yeah, i wasn't in the right state of mind." 

"no shit sherlock bro," jake  says, rubbing his hands over his face and then let's out another sigh. 

"well, my only advice is to accept it, hoon." he says, pausing, making sunghoon sit up from his laid down state. "i get where you're coming from and all with your brother instincts, and stuff— but on the brighter side, shouldn't you be grateful it's jay and not some other guy who you don't know?"  jake says, shrugging.

"like if you see, it's better that it's jay. you know him, he's your brother sunghoon— and you know you can count on him."

"you're not wrong." 

"i know, and besides, you can tell how much jay likes her, he doesn't seem to be letting go of y/n anytime soon, and most definitely not ever." jake says. "you gotta give him a chance, hoon— he's a great guy and y/n doesn't have a better option other than him, she truly likes him alot too." 

"wait—" sunghoon says, furrowing his eyebrows when it hits him. "YOU KNEW? ABOUT THEM?" 

jake blinks and before he could defend himself, he just decides to hear an earful from his friend, after all it's now or never.

"you were the only one oblivious to it— even heeseung knew something was up between the two." 

sunghoon groans, falling back onto jake's bed. 

"ah really? i feel like a total asshole now." 

"that's cause you are, now go talk it about with y/n. knowing her, she's probably contemplating to make it up with you as well, unless she's completely thrown off about you and this matter." 

sunghoon rolls over to the end of jake's bed and sighs. "you're right… i should've known better than to react like that." 

"oh yeah, and better make it up to jay too— for giving him an black eye." 

sunghoon looks up at jake and lets out a soft murmur that jake didn't bother to catch on knowing he complained about having to let go of his ego and speak to jay.  

"also, what are you doing up awake at 3 am in the morning?" sunghoon asks, furrowing his eyebrows at jake and jake only sighs in disappointment.

"i understand why you never caught onto y/n and jay." jake says, glaring at his friend with drowsy eyes. "you're a complete idiot." 

HEARING SUNGHOON come back home, you immediately rushed up to your room, nothing to hears thing from him— it's too soon to cave in, knowing how you've always forgiven sunghoon after fighting almost immediately, it won't be the same this time. 

not after assaulting jay and being a complete asshole about you wanting to be happy on your own. 

sunghoon 's hope flows down the drain when he hears your room door shut as soon as he enters the house, the frown on his face deepening. 

however just before he could go up the stairs he catches his friend in the kitchen, going to go up the stairs as well but stopping in his tracks when he spots sunghoon. 

the two stare at each other, in a awkward silence where jay wants to confront sunghoon but sunghoon contemplates whether he should speak first or not.

so he does. 

"can you spare me a second?" 

in his entire lifetime, this had to be the most awkward and silent situation he has ever been in with jay. usually he and jay would go on and off about just anything, they clicked like magnets but today— there was a different shift in the air considering the recent incidents. 

"w—" 

"h—" 

the two look at each other and immediately burst into laughs, stunned at how they both spoke up at the same time. 

"it's fine, you can have the first word dude." 

sunghoon feels the pile of guilt  in his stack up even more at how forgiving jay had sounded already. nodding, he sighs before speaking up. 

"i'm sorry. to start off, i'm sorry for everything, the other day." sunghoon says and jay nods, giving him a small comforting smile. 

"it was totally wrong on my side, for getting mad at you and… y/n. i didn't have a single right to be mad at what you guys wanted— and especially for….. that.." sunghoon says, scratching the back of his next awkwardly as he points at jay's healing bruised eye. 

jay just chucked, shaking his head at sunghoon's awkwardness in addressing the issue. 

"i understand why you guys his everything form me, seeing how i reacted that day, even if you guys told me i would've reacted the same— it's just, it's y/n." sunghoon explains, his heart aching at the same time. 

"she's just, i don't want her to end up hurt, by making the wrong choices— i care for her, i love her so much i just don't think i'll be sane if i ever see her hurting, hence the overprotectiveness over her had always been there, it's still there, but i'm putting down my ego this time." 

"i want y/n to be happy, and if this is what makes her happy, then that's what it is. i won't be oppressed to it— y/n's a smart girl, she knows what to do— but if, you hurt her man, consider us done, and you'll be receiving a gift from me, again." 

jay just stares at sunghoon and sunghoon cracks a smile. 

"just kidding, that's not gonna happen but, still— keep in mind if you ever hurt her, you'll face the consequences man." sunghoon says and jay just nod along, taking notes mentally to never hurt you, not that he intends to anyway. 

"on the other hand, i want you to have the best as well man, i want you to be happy and if my sister makes you the happiest man in the world then i wish you the best of luck!" 

jay laughs, patting sunghoon's back before he speaks up with a short smile as you get on his mind. 

"you're right, she does indeed make the happiest man ever— if happiness was a person, it'll be her anyday. " jay says and catches on sunghoon trying to not gag at the sappy shit his friend was spewing, as they both laugh it off. 

"and thanks, for understanding hoon. i'm sorry for going behind your back and having this all happened, it's wrong on my side too." 

the two of the just nod, finally taking in that now that the air is cleared, "so, we good now?" 

jay asks sunghoon, immediately being welcomed with a smile and huge hug, taking his homie into his arms. 

"congrats man, for bagging  the best girl out there for you." 

"thanks dude, now" jay pulls away, looking at sunghoon. "y/n's turn, talk it out with her." 

SUMMER WENT BY QUICKLY as quick as it started, because it surely felt like it was yesterday you and your friends were out of school and sunghoon, jay and jake being back in town. 

speaking of sunghoon, it's also been approximately a few weeks since he made up with you and like the saying goes, blood is always thicker than water. 

but, you didn't cave in as easily and quickly, but it was still quick and you missed your best friend and brother. 

“y/n." 

when you turn around to see your brother, your heart sinks and you move out of his way, walking out of the living room but he holds you back. 

"please, stop ignoring me." 

you scoff, looking at him and the guilt and regret is just plastered on his face that the hatred and pain in your just decreases. 

"what do you want?" 

"i want to talk it out, and apologize." 

you look at him for a moment before agreeing, having no choice but to settle it now. you didn't want sunghoon to go back to uni with unsolved and hard feelings between you both, and you parents were also telling you guys to sort it out as it was making every family meal time awkward and it was definitely making them frustrated. 

settling down in the living room, sunghoon speaks up. from a to z, he apologizes full heartedly and you hear him out until the end, not saying anything nor showing at sort of reaction until he was done.

"i don't expect you to forgive me soon y/n, but at least—" 

"im not forgiving you anytime soon— but i'm sorry as well." you say, looking down onto your hands on your lap. sweaty from the nervousness. "it was wrong on my side too, for going behind your back to screw around with jay and hiding everything from you despite knowing i was betraying you the whole time." 

sunghoon pulls you into an hug almost immediately, catching you by surprise but nevertheless you wrap your arms around him. 

feeling at ease almost immediately, this felt like home and you had missed it so, so much. 

"as you're happy y/n," sunghoon says, smiling as he hugs you tighter, finally making up with his sister, or so he thought. 

"im not forgiving you yet—if you're genuine, you can start with, getting me any of the jungkook pc's on my wishlist." 

"WHAT!" 

"do you want to be forgiven or not, hoon?" 

"fine…. i'll think about it." 

the hug from sunghoon seemed to have helped with how rough some parts of the summer has been and how rough it's gonna get in the following final week. 

the worst part of the summer has always been the ending. 

you had your graduation later on the week and at the same time, the boys were going back to campus the day after. 

as much as it sucks, life goes on and it shows how only in the end only memories are left behind, to be remembered. 

"are you okay?" jay comes up behind you, pulling you into a hug from the back. only a few minutes ago, the boy behind you had sneaked into your room in the eerie hours of the night where you hoped only the two of you were awake. 

because it was gonna be a hassle for jay to rush out just in case one of your parents or sunghoon walks in. 

and you didn't want him to leave either, you wanted to make up the rest of the summer spending the best quality time with jay. 

because the thought of losing him the moment summer ends, it just simply scares you. 

"you've been spacing out for awhile now," 

you turn around with a small smile that jay immediately realizes is not genuine, so he takes your hand in his. 

"something's up, what is it baby?" 

you bite your lip before you speak up, holding his hands in yours. 

"i was just thinking of what's gonna happen when this week ends." you say, sighing by the end of it.

"you're graduating."

"that's not it," 

"then? you're finally out of that hell hole?" 

"no, that's not it too…." 

"th—" 

"it's you. you're leaving." 

jay looks at you, blinking when he remembers that he's leaving by the end of the week as well. that's when he also realized how he won't get to hold you like this anymore, or kiss you whenever he wants to, or touch you, or have you underneath him, or take you out on dates, or hear your laugh, or see you. 

perhaps for the time being, you both don't know what the future has in store for the two of you. 

however, despite that, jay knows that you still can't help but think of cons of the summer ending. 

"and?"

you blink, looking at jay in confusion, not sure if he heard what you had said or not. 

"you're leaving jay," 

"okay, and? that's not going to change anything between us baby." he says, leaning down to your level, with a sweet smile. 

"i'm still going to love you like i always have, my feelings for you will never change, if anything— it'll grow even more, because i'm never going to ever stop loving you," he says. 

"but i get your point, we're gonna be apart, i’m gonna go back to campus and you're gonna start applying for university, we'll get busy and you're worried about falling off? right?" 

it's like he can read you like an open book, you nod at your boyfriend. 

"don't worry, we're not gonna fall off." he says, patting your head. "i'm gonna make it work, we'll make it work. even if i’m a million miles away from you— you'll forever be my favorite girl, the one i wanna hear my good mornings from and the one i wanna hear good job you did well, all my goodnight from  and most importantly," he pauses to kiss faintly on your forehead. 

"the only one i want to get i love you's from." 

you smile shyly, trying to not blush at his sweet talking. but it's true, what he said it's vice versa. he's the one you need at the end of the way, he's the one you want to kiss in the summer rain, he's the one you want to capture so much of memories with, he's the one you want to give a victory kiss to and most importantly, he's the one you want to tell all your i love you's to. 

with a small kiss back on his lips, you pull him into a hug, taking in his warmth as it radiates comfort and peace. 

"i'm gonna miss you so, so much, jay." 

"and im gonna miss and love you all the way from there, y/n." 

just like that, days went by and here you were, on standby in the dress jay had gifted you and the graduation robe in top as you try to not pass out from the nervousness. 

this was the moment you waited for your entire high school life, the times when you were sobbing over math work and wished how you wanted to graduate and leave the hell hole soon.

it was finally happening. 

"Y/N, Y/L/N." 

going up the stage, you saw your entire high school life flash before you as you were greeted by the principal and he handed you the certificate and scroll with congratulations. 

when you got off the stage you were immediately greeted by your parents, pulling you into a hug and cheering congratulations you finally did it. 

"save some for us!" you pull away and see wooyoung running towards you with his arms in the air as karina and seeun chasing behind him. 

your bodies collide as you guys do a group hug, congratulating each other while wooyoung was full on sobbing his eyes out from you're not sure either not scoring choi san or if he was proud of himself for getting through the entire hell of a high school. 

"bitchless and graduated!" 

"that's both a W and L but me too," seeing agrees with wooyoung and those two pull each other into a hug as they cry on each other's shoulders. 

karina and you laugh at those two, heart warm and fuzzy from the overwhelming emotions taking over. 

"we're finally done huh?" 

"yup, don't and over with." you agree, smiling at her. 

"you don't have to cry about the pending assignments anymore."

"and you don't have to cry about getting the worst partner for projects and having to do all the work." 

karina gasps and cheers. "FUCKING FINALLY  IM FREE FROM THAT SHIT!" 

you laugh at her overjoyed state, too indulge in it to not acknowledge the figure next to you, pulling you in a side hug. 

"HOON!" 

"congratulations loser." he says, and pulls you into a full hug this time, catching karina waving at you before she disappears into the crowd. 

"thanks," you say, pinching his bicep making him wince but he smiles at you in pure proudness. 

"you're all grown up now, time flies fast." 

"you sound like a hag hoon, and we're barely a few years apart…" you grimace, shaking your head at how sappy he was, but deep down it made you happy.

"still, my little menace is all grown up now.." he says, and smiles at you. patting your head he says, "im so proud of you, you made it y/n."

you two just smile, and hug once more before your parents call sunghoon leaving you in the crowd alone as your eyes look around for a pair of eyes you wanted to meet so bad. 

and when you do, you feel like your entire world just froze, and it was only the two of you, a moment only of the two of you, and only for you two. 

jay walks towards you, looking like the most beautiful person you have ever seen, a bouquet in his hand that anyone would scream in awe at how gorgeous it looked— but to you, nothing was as gorgeous as the way he was looking at you with so much love and the pretty smile on his lips. 

"i hope im not too late." 

you smile, giggling as you shake your head. "no, you are not. you're just in time, if anything." 

jay smiles back at you, and then looks at the bouquet in his hand, handing it to you. 

"congratulations, my beautiful love." 

you look at the bouquet, close up it looked breathtaking, but the one handing it to you was even more breathtaking. 

"thank you," you smile, taking the bouquet from him. 

"you look gorgeous today, y/n." he says taking your hand in his, smiling at you ear to ear as he admired your beauty. 

he knew his choice has never gone wrong, but seeing you in a dress he had gifted you, you made the dress look like the most beautiful dress in the world worn by the most beautiful girl ever.

"thank you— you look amazing as well." 

"well, it's to impress my beautiful girlfriend that i very much love wholeheartedly."

"oh really? she must be really grateful then," you pause, pulling him closer by his wrist. "for having the most beautiful boyfriend in the world as well." 

closing the remaining gap between you two, jay slips his arm around your waist, pulling you into a kiss where the two of your lips move against each others gracefully. 

connecting your fingers between his, as the two of you kiss is making the butterflies in your tummy grow ten times more. 

pulling away as you two catch after your  breaths, forehead leaning against each other.

"I'm so proud of you, your congratulatory gift is after the match tonight," 

"any hints?" 

"you and i both are gonna love it and have so much fun." 

 "YOU GOT THIS PARK. YOUR FINAL GAME FOR THE SUMMER." 

jay gives sunghoon a tight lipped smile, nodding as his best friend encourages him. 

"and aim straight for the finish line."  

"you know me man, i never miss." jay replies, chuckling dryly while his eyes still wanders around the stadium, feeling anxiously nervous. 

"you seem like you're gonna miss tonight though," sunghoon says, crossing his arms displeased. jay looks back at him and then sighs. 

"if you're looking for y/n i think she's prolly wasted— she and her friends are out partying and i d—"

"found her." jay says, a smile immediately growing on his lips. he winks at sunghoon before heading over to you. "catch ya later hoon." 

he had been worried all night, worried you wouldn't had make it in time for the match he wanted you to be at. after all, it's the final one for the summer, and it's the first ever match he's had a girl wanting to cheer him on for. 

you rush over to your boyfriend, cheeks flushed and hair bit of a mess from all the head bopping back at wooyoung's house, getting wasted from the after party. 

you were drunk, but sober enough to be aware of your surrounding yet still drunk enough to wanting to sob over how gorgeous of a man, jay is. 

with his disheveled hair blowing slightly in the wind, and cheeks flushed probably from the chill breeze of the summer, and how fucking hot he looked in his racing attire with an helmet held around his waist. 

"hey baby, i thought you were gonna miss out on me." jay greets, smiling brightly at you, his cheeks starting to ache already. 

you seemed to look so beautiful under the lights in the stadium, making you look as gorgeous as ever. with the way your cheeks were flushed, jay figured you were probably wasted, but cutely.

"i'd never, im sorry im a little late though," you giggle, "if i reek of alcohol im sorry, again— the after-party was crazy, i wasn't gonna get wasted but im not too drunk ei—" 

"you're so cute." 

"what?" 

"you're so cute my heart can burst," jay says, chuckling at you as he ruffles your hair and then cups your cheek in his hand. "it's fine baby, no worries. as long you're here, it's all that matters." 

"ahhh you're so!" you whine, hiding your face from how he was making you blush. jay laughs, pulling away your hand. 

"stop hiding your face," he says, giggling when your try to fight him back but it was to no avail. 

"jay, you're on next!" sunghoon calls for jay, waving at him and the pointing onto the tracks which jay nods and then turns back to you. 

"i gotta go," he says, and then leans down to your level, looking into your bright eyes. "cheer me on?" 

you smile, nodding and then lean forward and place a peck on his lips. 

"you got this, goodluck my baby." 

placing another peck back, jay pulls away and puts on his helmet, does some adjustment and heads over to sunghoon before getting into his car. 

you watch him for a second before heading over to the VIP section where jay said he had a sport reserved for you at. however when you got there, you weren't really expecting to see someone. 

"HEE?" 

"y/n!" he smiles, standing up and giving you a brief hug, then leading you to your spot next to him. 

"i wasn't really expecting to see you here," you say, chuckling as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as it was getting your view. 

"me neither, but hoon forced me to be here and i figured why not— it's my final night here, im leaving next morning back to the town." 

you nod, oohing him and then focus back onto the game when you hear the announcement of the race starting.

"1, 2, 3!" 

the entire arena lights up and going crazy, cheering for their choice when the racers are off the starting line, onto the tracks. you keep your gaze focused on jay's car, cheering him on along side with heeseung in the cube. 

sunghoon was cheering jay on even more, standing by the front with his arms crossed like he's the boy's coach. 

"are you cold?" 

y/n turns to face heeseung who's already taking off his jacket for you, catching you by surprise, not knowing heeseung had realized how you've been shivering slightly from the AC in the tube. 

"oh, uhm—" 

"just take it, you're shaking." heeseung says, and drapes the jacket over your body and you just give him a short smile and nod before the two of you are startled by the crowd groaning and sunghoon scoffing. 

"shit! man keep your head fucking straight! you're all over the place!" he grunts, displeased at the turn jay just took that erupted his fans and your brother. 

clearly he wouldn't have if he didn't catch heeseung putting his fucking jacket over his girl. it somehow seemed to have piss him off although he's truly aware that heeseung has no intentions of hitting on you, but you can never actually trust men. 

"fuck," jay breathes, taking a sharp turn overtaking the rest of the racers and the way his lips curved up into a smirk when he neared the end of the straightaway. 

the cheers in the arena got louder and you along with the rest were on the edge when another racer catches up to jay. 

"fuck he's gotta make it," you say, worried as the two seem to be on their extreme speed. nibbling on your lips, you watch the race, chest heaving up and down anxiously. 

jay's steps on the fuel, overtaking the other racer speeding past the finish line, his adrenaline fueling his heart to beat rapidly and on cue, the announcers announce the win as the entire arena cheer and fireworks in the arena go off. 

jay's grip loosens on the steering wheel as he waits for the voice to come in through his helmet headset. 

"thirty six seconds," catching onto that jay finishes a few cool-down laps and then gets off the track after stopping his car. as soon as he gets down he finds you running out of the cube, heeseung's jacket falling off your shoulders and for some reason it makes his ego inflate. 

jay takes off his helmet and tosses it off to a extremely happy sunghoon who's too busy to worry about his sister and his best friend about to make up right Infront of him. 

"YOU DID IT!" you cheer, running towards him and collapsing right into his arms, gripped right around your body as he twirls you around. 

time stands still and it feels like it's only the two of you, hearts eating against your ribcages, cheeks aching from how hard you two were smiling, adrenaline rushing through your veins, the night couldn't feel anymore alive and better. 

pulling away, jay is still holding onto you as you two giggle, looking into each others eyes. 

with a smile, you cup jay's face and pull him into the sweetest kiss of the entire summer. a kiss filled with so much of young love, so much of happiness, proudness, so much of joy— a kiss that's for sure to be remembered. 

with your foreheads leaning against each other, you smile at the extremely happy and smile jay. 

"the victory kiss. you did so well baby," you say, and place a kiss on his forehead, arms locked around his neck. 

"god i'm so in love with you." he says, and leaning in, kissing you with his arms wrapped around your waist, dress flowing in the breeze and the warmth radiating of your skin, this is home for him. 

"are you two gonna cut it out or?" 

"we're not," jay says, looking at sunghoon who's clearly not amused with the two of sucking off each others face as if he wasn't just jumping off the ground, too joyfull from his best friend's win. 

"wh—" 

"give me the box." 

"what box?" 

"the one i gave you earlier, idiot!" jay hisses and sunghoon nods in realization, fishing out the tiny box from his pocket and handing it to jay. 

jay takes it from him and opens it up, revealing a carved necklace with the two of your names and stars decorated around it. so simple yet so meaningful that it's starting to bring up tears in your eyes and you feel like you're completely sober now. 

"may i?" he asks, taking out the necklace and then you nod, fisting your hair and letting him put the necklace around your neck. 

"it's… beautiful." 

"yeah, like you." 

you smile looking up at him. 

"i got you this, cause i 'm leaving for now— but i'm always gonna be here with you." he says, touching the necklace around your neckline. "always." 

"im gonna make us work, im never going to stop loving you because like i said, im gonna love you till the end. there's nothing that's impossible for us, and i need you y/n." he says, rubbing his thumb against your cheek when he cups your face once again. 

"if the multiverse is real, i want to be with you in every each of it. and love you to the fullest in every each of it, i'll prove it." 

closing your eyes, tears fall down your cheeks. holding in your sob, you nod profusely, smiling at jay, the absolute love of your entire life. 

"i love you." 

"i love you too, and more." 

giggling, the two of your kiss once more and pull into a big hug. 

"so it's final?" heeseung judges sunghoon who seemed up have teared up as well, from how happy his both sister and best friend were in the moment, absolutely admiring them. 

"yup, it's final." 

and like jay said, you too— hoped that if the multiverse is real, you want to be with him, and love him to the fullest in every each of it. because you'll always chose him. 

your summer fling. 

you couldn't have asked for a better summer, and this one, has yet to be best so far. best memories with the best friends of yours, the best brother you could ever ask for— 

and again, the best summer fling— the best boy you love wholeheartedly, you could ever ask for. 

[northernrosewritings]

Badly summarized WIP game

Found from @mel-writes-with-her-dragons who had an open tag :)

Believe it or not the two chosen one points are unrelated, I just like the chosen one trope a lot lmao

[boringmarinn]

Why do you ship Sans x Frisk? As a person who ships them myself, what do you see in them, like about them? Personality traits, situations, tropes etc, anything that comes to mind, what makes you enjoy them and continue to breathe life to them?

Omg ok sooo... When I realized I was already shipping Sans and Frisk, maybe because I love the trope of the funny ironic character who has secrets and the silent protagonist who have a lot of will and power. I also have a soft spot for monster x human interactions, relationships and seeing several AUs with the two of them was what made me like it even more.

I think I liked them visually because the sprites in the game are so cute and the same size and the colors match and so on. I also see Sans more as a teenager and Frisk as well so i almost always draw and write them close. Frisk have a lot of secrets that Sans knows about and vice versa, and both have this drama about fate, about powers that can destroy, judgment and guilt, responsibility and determination i found super interesting.

I absolute love the concept of Frisk being a "more than a simple human" thing, a deity, some powerful force that can be either benevolent or dangerous when in contrast with Sans that's "just a normal boss monster" or something like that. I'm in love with Frisk being a god what just wants to live a normal life, having a normal family and a happy life and find this wish coming true with their monster family, and they find love with that one monster who has kept his eye socket on them all this time, seeing the sweetness and love that they share.

I also love the angst in the forbidden love thing, like, monster and human love being a taboo...

Frisk It's a character that ended up growing in my hand while I was drawing and creating, so to speak. I didn't want to let Frisk become that cliché of cute and lovable, so she/they transformed a little too quickly hehe. Today It's very different and that adorable cover is just a disguise for the real Frisk. Which isn't a terrible evil being either, it's just harder to comprehend and morally gray. They're determined still, to being a better person and changing the order of things and changing fate.

Sans I don't even know where and how to start because he has been my main and if not my most intense and prolonged hyperfocus. I have a lot of fun writing and drawing it in many different ways, with my favorite being this ironic, calm and funny little guy, but who carries a huge weight on his shoulders for the people he loves, a guy who worries too much about simple things and is a bit anxious and uncertain about the future.

Soo... Well i think that's a lot of reasons people like them two. They're two little guys, they go around the time and space, (like sans can teleport in space and frisk teleports in time thats so cool aaaa) them both like papyrus and toriel very much, they two are poker faced deadpan funny faces

I find them fun and even more fun is seeing other talented artists in the community doing their own interpretations of them in such unique ways. I love seeing fans making content for fans and how the characters change drastically in each person's hands, it's beautiful

[ajthebumblebee]

The new DHMIS season has an interesting look at the found family trope.

Like in Family, the guys are told they aren't a "real" family because they're not related. So Toddney and Lilly force them to experience their very specific idea of a family. When Duck Guy doesn't fit that mold, or just does something by accident, he gets thrown out. Red Guy literally gets taken out of the picture for not fitting in with his family for being happy and showing affection. Even if an outsider can see he's not really acting any different from them.

Yellow Guy is the most interesting, because with the inclusion of Roy at the end, I think the implication was that it was his "biological" family. And he's forced into a role that he didn't agree to, for the sake of everyone else's selfish desires and skewed beliefs. When he's given the opportunity to leave, he does, and goes back to the guys. All while the family literally eats each other alive.

All that seems like it would work for a found family story... But the guys don't really like each other. They constantly complain about the other, they insult and belittle, they enact physical violence, and outright say they aren't really friends. But it's weird, because they're also the only ones who care about each other.

The following episode, Friends, explores this further. Warren is right that it's not okay how Red and Duck treat Yellow, and friends shouldn't do that. But Warren is only doing this for his own self gain, and Red and Duck actually care about helping Yellow. They spend their only day on the computer they can to save him, before they end up insulting and beating the shit out of each other anyways.

I think there's an overall theme with the new season, is of returning to a status quo, even if it's bad for everyone. Like how TV shows frequently go back to a toxic status quo, and how that warps perception in its audience to view real life.

In this instance, a lot of sitcoms have the main cast be terrible to each other, but when push comes to shove, they do care. DHMIS shows that while, yes, it's better than the alternative- it's not a good place to be in either. A lot of abuse victims end up being in unhealthy friendships that are only marginally better. How TV sitcoms normalize it for the sake of entertainment, thus only makes it worse.