#ALSO THE TESTING LABEL WAS NOT THERE
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yea i’m 100% certain this batch of carts are straight up spice lol
#stream#ALSKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSPAS bit annoyed but whatever#we’re back to normal bud again 😔#like yea they’re not even fully filled like ???? ALSKALSKLAKALKSLA & THE CAPS ARE COMING OFF ??? CLEARLY THEY WERE UNSCREWED#ALSO THE TESTING LABEL WAS NOT THERE#so wherever king got these …. ima have to tell him to skip it next time 😭😭😭#SAD !#anyway#he’s got good bud so i’ll be happy w it lol#ALSKLASKLAKSLAKPASKLAJSLA but i’m keeping these empty carts so i can fill em w SMACK !!!!#did yall know u can vape heroin ??????
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speedrunning a bday gift for bb nephew hjdfgjh
#rug hooking#muffled laugh#wip#artists on tumblr#squints#honestly the difficult part is over( aka the cat) so that's good#I say speedrunning but it's in two weeksish#but it's kinda big? hgnng I want it to be an actual rug but since it's not pure wool idk how durable it would be#in the long run#which again I still wanna make a big rug for my room#so I can stomp around on it/test it out haha#being able to use the malabrigo chunky green yarn is very satisfying#also bless you chunky yarn which is making the progress go a lot faster haha#I drew a failed pattern on the other side of the backing and the fingertips on my left hand#look super bruised but it's just the marker rubbing off mhjfg#still like this style the most I think (the blended color type? like with the sea otter haha or the horse one#or like there's a big mix of textures/yarn size#coelacanth is fun but I think I got a little too nitpicky with it#lmao all my breaks between work have either been coral island or rug hooking#sort of related but there was a yarn shop I went to maybe 2 years ago?#and there was a yarn I bought there that I'm finally using up more and it's literally the softest/fluffiest yarn ever :'D#need to dig through my labels to see which brand it was#sorry to all the people who decided to open tags and got slammed with a wall of text/ramblings LMAO#edit: rip the yarn brand's actually been discontinued since 2018 hAHA
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Went from being totally lost as a teenager to finding solace in aesthetics and fitting urself into a template in my late teens and now I think I struck a healthy intermediate where I know who I am as a person generally but I’m also completely subscribed to the idea of evolving and would never deny trying something just bc it doesn’t fit the image of myself I crafted in my head
#I rly want to spend a considerable amount of time just testing things and seeing how I like them instead of figuring out how they fit into#The jigsaw of my selfhood#Bc that’s the kind of self containment that keeps ppl from exploring who they truly r beyond what they associate w certain aesthetics that#Have already been done to death#Also part of this is accepting that I as a human have shifting opinions and may change my mind and so change the way I carry myself#I get sad when I see ppl label flexibility w how u conduct urself an identity crisis#This is literally why the well is so dry and nothing is new anymore#In reality ppl who invented the wheel just looked at things they liked and incorporated that into who they are and that’s how they became#Trends#like if you can envision a way it fits into ur head that’s all that matters#And if you allow urself the ability to change ur mind on things that’s so much the better#And an important skill to have in life actually
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Oz 5x04 → "Next Stop Valhalla"
#oz hbo#hbo oz#my gifs#chico guerra#jaime velez#otto sanchez#christopher rivera#not today tumblr censors!!#altho i probably couldve show nudity with the community labels idk... not gonna test it#also rip jaime but.... such a funny line to fall for
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Sannyo
#my art#touhou#sannyo komakusa#ms paint#nothing outstanding in terms of skill for me but ok#just kinda worried about my posts don't get engagement so did this just for test#what if i am labeled by media as touhou artist and recommends me to touhou fans#so my touhou art is shown to them#but when i do everything else it doesn't show to them or they don't tend to react#on tumblr it could be some texts that also push away people#or just that none of my oc posts got reacts unless these for oc tober#can't say same for twitter as there are just tags#but i'm worried by drop of activity
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You know what? Maybe I'll get through college purely for the sake of learning to write strong academic papers to prove my mom wrong about things.
#i am pissed the fuck off right now#she told me i don't have tourettes cause my MRI and EEG were normal#i told her that those tests are used to rule out other causes so they're actually evidence FOR me having tourettes rather than against#she did find some academic articles showing evidence that it does show up on scans#but it's all pretty recent developments and it seems to be inconclusive so far#so yeah sure fine it can go either way#but also. i know my lived experience. and SO MANY FUCKING OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THE SAME LIVED EXPERIENCE#so many fucking people. diagnosed tourettics with normal fucking MRIs#other topics i need to prove my mom wrong on: neil gaiman. PETA. whatever drone conspiracy theory shit she's getting into#Mommy. I love you. You are one of the smartest and kindest people I know.#But your stubbornness and confirmation bias are quite frankly ridiculous.#btw you're allowed to sympathize with me but don't say anything too strong about my mom#cause yeah she has some shit opinions but you don't know her. she's complicated like anyone else and i love her#it's just that i usually only bring her up when i'm venting so it tends to create an incomplete picture of her#but uh. yeah#vent#oh yeah also every time i bring up my bpd symptoms to her she goes on a long rant of why i don't have it#making it very clear that she is mixing up bpd and aspd#and every time i explain the distinction she's like 'whatever they're all just meaningless labels anyway'#and then forgets it within a week and we go through the whole schmuckaroo again
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My soul dies a little every time I see a normal person in a casual context bring up which characters have the same MBTI as them simply because 9 times out of ten that's not even the correct MBTI for the person OR the character
#MBTI#my opinions on it are ultimately it's a very flawed system full of holes that shouldn't be taken scientifically at all in any way#and every typology system is also flawed and vibes-based#however personality tests is not where it starts and ends. 16personalities is not MBTI it's big5 with worse questions#and even though personality database as an userbase has gone past “they're introverted so they gotta be an I type” shit#it still doesn't stop them from being egregiously wrong more often than not#don't get me started on people who get so caught up in theory they forget humans are multifaceted#typology is pretty fun for facilitating self-exploration and giving you some sort of framework to work with#and it's good for exploring and writing characters though I think only in the same vein as one would explore oneself#genuinely I think the impact it had on the way I understood myself or others was massive because I suddenly had something to work with#overall just being exposed to the idea that “different people think and value things differently” and list examples to start with is useful#especially when examples are given and some sort of rough categorization exists#it's just labels in the end that don't mean much or anything at all but they're nice#especially because they're not based on immutable traits like your birthday your race etc#by the way tests get my typology wrong almost every time. personality tests will never be the be all end all of typology
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Got called a Critter twice today by two different buddies, the best of days
#critter as in#small creature#not a critical role enjoyer#testing the waters with this whole#uhm what is it??? nonnbinary??#gender fluid thing??#idk I don’t really care for labels#just know that being called a critter is fun and makes sense in my brain! :D#(someone also used ‘they’ on me and woah :3 that was good!)#<- you know who you are ily#there’s something bout having friends that encourage you and make you feel comfortable in your own skin
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𓆩✧`〖 Aesop Carl ID Pack 〗´✧𓆪
✧ tagging ;; @aesopcarlirl ︶⊹︶︶ᗢ︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶ᗢ︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶ᗢ︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶ᗢ︶
'ᗢ' Names ;; ➢ Aeso , Sirius , Victor , Sage , Theodore , Atticus , Atlas , Theo , Zephyr , Rhodes , Cosmo , Apollo , Styx , Elias , Mortis , Atropos , Grim , Charles , Henry , Jack , Mason , Owen, Arthur , Noah , John , Heinrich , Undertaker
'ᗢ' Usernames ;; ➢ TheEmbalmer , TheFinalTouch , TheUndertaker , YourGuideToTheOtherSide , AGraveWithYellowRoses , PreparingTheDeceased , ASorrowfulGoodbye , PreservingMemoriesInCoffins , TheEndOfLifesJourney , HonorToTheFallenTravelers , RebirthYourTheFallen , ReturnTheDeadToLife , TheApprenticeOfDeath , GuideTheLostFromTheDarkness , AHiddenKillerInTheMorgue , SinisterIntentionsLayHere , MayIBeYourGuideToTheEnd
'ᗢ' Pronouns ;; ➢ He/Him , Hx/Hxm , It/Its , Dae/Daem , Nx/Nxm , Hye/Hyer , Xe/Xim , Xae/Xaem , Xe/Xet , Ze/Zim , Ze/Zet , Ty/Tym , Em/Embalm , Em/Embalmer , Morgue/Morgues , Re/Rebirth , Death/Deaths , Mor/Mortis , Grave/Graves , Coffin/Coffins , Trick/Tricks , Smart/Smarts , Dark/Darks , Tomb/Tombs , Mask/Masks , Science/Sciences , Preserve/Preserves , Decease/Deceased . Reconstruct/Reconstructs , Care/Cares , Procedure/Procedures , Casket/Caskets , Delicate/Delicates , Respect/Respects , Dark/Darks , Corpse/Corpses , Cadaver/Cadavers , Undertaker/Undertakers , ☠️/☠️'s , 💼/💼's , 🕸️/🕸️'s , 🏥/🏥's , ☁️/☁️'s , 🎨/🎨's , ⚰️/⚰️'s , ⚱️/⚱️'s , 🗒️/🗒️'s , 🔪/🔪's , 🗡️/🗡️'s , 🗝️/🗝️'s
'ᗢ' Identity ;; ➢ Mortugender , Cemetarian , Gravic , Mascnul , Morsic , Deathlexan , Dullagender , Corpsraised , Gendergrave/Genderdead , Corcoffion , Deadfluid , Deadboy/Boydead , Abandoe , Morguelexic , Livivingdeadboycorpse , Yellowrosegender
︶⊹︶︶ᗢ︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶ᗢ︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶ᗢ︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶ᗢ︶
#mogai#pronoun#pronoun help#id pack#pronoun suggestions#label suggestions#id pack request#name suggestions#identity suggestions#gender suggestions#username suggestions#not going to tag the fandom#sadly uncomfortable with this media ;O;#Old discomfort but I didnt to let that stop me#From doing a pack for someone#But I also will probably decline in the future cause im worried it will show up on my feed now#But im never against giving it a try if i know its smth thats related to an old discomfort#Testing the waters#No offense to the one who requested this of course!!!!
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Dead Certain (1991)
#brad dourif#dead certain#supposedly w/ labels this is allowed now#so i'm testing that theory#anyways idk how to be normal about this scene so i won't be#but also there's too much to focus on idk where to start#hair...#the 'god i wish that were me' of this is off the charts. last gif esp.#braddourif*#for the yearning series#thirst gifs#most of my gifs are thirst gifs in some way but using this tag for the extra shameless stuff
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oh how i wish i could just be taking the pills that make me joyous all the time... unfortunately the pills that make me joyous are also the pills that make me incredibly drowsy, and sometimes i have things i would like to be able to do without falling over
#i'm talking about pregabalin#which on this occasion i took for its secret third effect (pills that make me not have terrible rls)#it's not something that was prescribed to me which is why i'm at the mercy of a dose that's much too high#i'm gonna be talking to my doctor about several things in a few days and this is one of them#a smaller dose would probably be enough to deal with the rls and presumably not make me as drowsy#but i'm guessing it would also reduce the joyousness#she may instead prescribe me clonazepam because that's what i used to take for rls until i mysteriously stopped having it for a while#she gave me some last time on a non-repeating prescription just to test the waters#but i know she's not that keen on giving out benzos for an uncommon off-label use that she'd never heard of before i brought it up#so she may prefer switching to pregabalin. which i would be fine with. both drugs seem to have the same set of effects on me#this has been anxiolytic sedatives talk with britta averinthine
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socializing is so hard I'm like "yeah i finally got my depression done with forever (for real this time" and then I am in an environment with people and it's like "fuck how do I act i don't have the knowledge of the things should I be listening should I be looking I mean how do like verbal conversations work like they're clearly not oriented towards a goal in the same way emails are but they also just like don't have the same sort of "just kinda say things" that the internet has ok that's not fair I have held conversations, even if the initiation differs which is a big part of it but there is something different obviously like the expectation of latency & just basic woah you can't see them bit but also like it feels less direct. Oh and then now you have to deal with timing like 100x as often idk i think at the third time it's just time to give up. Though ok I mean I'm not incapable of verbal speech I can give answers in english class also why is my head burning and i mean i don't think my hands should be there do people care about that also i can't fathom the depravity of how i look"
#i mean like depression overriding symptoms of anxiety doesn't seem an unreasonable hypothesis#though it would imply something weird but it was a while ago#tbh it is kind of fun to mostly check out (i am still listening) and then pop in whenever weird things are being said#though like I'm pretty sure I'm an outsider somewhat?? idk#it's one of those things where nobody's going to give me a straight answer if i somehow had the courage to ask#I mean ok in theory this is one of those situations in which you're supposed to ask somebody with more expertise#but alas that person is not a teacher and even though I can convince myself on the “it takes them a lot less time to answer”#they are not paid to do it so it's not relaly enough#and i wouldn't know who to ask ghhghgghgggg#there's also one person who looks at me like. more than normal and i don't know why it feels weird they seem like they have something to sa#but presuambly if it was positive they'd have said it idkdkdk#imagine if they put me in a real social situation#one-on-one i've talked to like. one person.#also god like i don't know i'm ok i'm still stuck up on the diagnosis thing especially because sigh i do view it as membership of a group#potentially more than anything else#even though like everything idk i feel like more good will would be afforded on me if i were autistic#not that i'm like lacking in good will or uh. whatever.#the thing is i don't really believe believe that “you know :) means happy” is thing that autistic people can't do#like yes difficulty with recognizing emotions is an issue but it is just like a factoid.#granted this is what my perception of pitch was before i got corrected and told i had perfect pitch so my track record isn't great#but also that's more of a thing?#I mean like ok i do recognize that a smile is inducing happiness outside of the knowledge of its connotation#though the lack of distinction in the original question doesn't give me faith that it's important though it's i've heard a stupid test#I mean ghhhhhhhhhh it at least feels like if i were to be allistic and then spent time in autistic spaces it'd be boring#like i shouldn't be framing autism as like a superpower which i don't think it is though maybe they don't mean literal autism though that'd#be weird. Also like I mean there is a tendency to just be like “having a lot of thoughts is autism”#or the like I mean i'm probably oversimplifying and it's the questioning of structure ad such but like#idk i feel kind of stuck in the middle. what was this post about#oh yeah ok i mean like idk uhhh it should like uh. eeee give me an in although i'm not sure how because either it is a way of recontextuali#prior experinces in a way that's better or it changes nothing except the label which
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friendly advice guys if you ever want to laminate your eventim or conbini-printed tickets because you want them to last forever: don't.
#they're made with those label printers which means a bit of heat will turn them black#did i ruin two tickets? yes#did i save 5 other tickets because i did a test run on the ones i had x2 first? thankfully also yes#nonetheless i am still upset#because that means my autographed wt13 ticket will forever be prone to fading
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So I bought a glass dildo a while ago and while I'm not the biggest fan of using it for it's intended purpose, it is super pretty and I'm mad about it because I can't display it in my home but it's gorgeous
#this post is mostly a test of tumblrs community labels#and also because im mad at how pretty it is#its just too firm for my taste#which i know its glass of course its gonna be firm#but oh well you live and learn#my ramblings#not tf
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#hiding this in the tags bc it’s kind of embarrassing and i need to get it off my chest#and i could journal about it but i just want someone to see me#sorry for being cringe <333#but i don’t know what the hell i am like i don’t know if i’m even nonbinary anymore and that scares me like being nonbinary felt like coming#home after a long trip#and now i’m having all these thoughts about wanting to be a man? like near tears rn bc i want to be a guy but then when i think of actually#being a guy i freak out a bit#bc i like being seen as feminine too and i know that there are feminine men and they get treated so terribly#and i feel like all the men i see that i want to be like or look like are white! why don’t i see any black trans men like i feel so alone#and i’m scared to look/be openly trans bc there’s so much violence against people like us that it feels safer to just cosplay as a cis woman#even though i’m not#like i don’t want to be a boy but i want to be one and i absolutely don’t want to be a girl but i’d like to be seen as someone sometimes#it’s all very confusing#AND like i know i’m biromantic like im attracted to all genders and people#but im like? am i on the ace spectrum#bc i have a low sex drive am often sex repulsed and will sometimes ‘test’#myself to see if im sexually attracted to people and most of the time it’s like#it’s like meh not really but sometimes im like sure but that’s rarer and rarer these days?? and like. tmi here but i jerk off and enjoy it#so i can’t be asexual right?? i tried looking it up but the articles just confused me#but then i also am like with the right person if i had a connection to them i wouldn’t mind having sex with them! but like. then i think#about actually having to be in a relationship and i’m like gross no but i think that’s just relationship trauma and fear of being#vulnerable#and like i know i don’t HAVE to have a label on my gender or sexuality but for me personally it helps to know What i am#and and i love butches so so so much and if i’m a man how can i love butches? like#it’s all so confusing#i feel like i’m 14 and going through puberty again
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People: wow how come you and your girlfriend communicate so well?? That must be hard right?
Me: we are both ✨️autistic✨️ *extremely dramatic jazz hands*
#ngl we got clashing autisms lol. but idc we make it work#also i hesitate to call her autistic cause she doesnt like it and i respect that#she doesnt get 'autistic scores' on autism tests because she knows the 'right' answers basically#making her convinced shes not autistic when in reality shes just hyper competent at masking#and also autism is a social construct. so if she doesnt care i dont eithef#its a label that helps me explain myself to others and signal to them that i might need them to treat me a little differently#but if she has no need for that? thats a-ok
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