#ALSO he produced and did the instruments and backing vocals on this one

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

Written by Russ Ballard

[write4cench]

distractions.

summary: central cee and you decided to collaborate together on a track together, but when things get a little too heated your minds drive… elsewhere

pairings: single!central cee x reader

genre: smut.. just smut

word count: 2.6k+ (unedited)

a/n: this is my first smut lmao can't believe i've done this, i mean i couldn’t help it central cee too fine. i’m not the best at it though.. 😁😁🙏🏾

central cee and you both spend your time in his private studio, located in his apartment. it's decently sized but not too spacious, regardless it gets the job done and the both of you manage to produce and record your lines for the track.

you've both wanted to work with one another on a song together and so have your fans, they've been awaiting this for so long that your management team decided it was the best decision.

you stand on inside of the booth looking down at the lyrics sheet that lies in front of you, humming the rhythm before the track plays within your headphones and you begin to sing along over your back vocals.

cench sits in front of you layed back in one of the wheely chairs that sit behind the booth, he watches you sing nodding his head to the rhythm of the song but also impressed by your vocal abilities.

it's the two of you alone in the studio which is quiet unusual considering the fact that during the last studio sessions the studio was filled with friends of central cee who decided to show up.

but instead this time, it's only the two of you. but it feels far from awkward it feels comforting and you both focus on getting the work done.

the song's chorus comes to and end and he stops the instrumental from playing again, upon finishing you glance at him and put a thumbs up asking him if you did good enough of a job, he nods and you do a small celebration that makes him laugh.

he begins to speak but it's too muffled due to the soundproof booth so you take your headphones off and open the door slightly to hear him better, "you did great, we don't even have to run it over again." he admits and you smile.

"you sure, i feel like some of it was a little off." you tell him but he shakes his head in refusal so you decided to leave it since it is his song after all.

"can i hear it over?" you ask him and he nods playing it over again, you put the headphones back onto your head and listen to it carefully.

the song starts off with central cee's wonderful rap that as usual never miss, the song then slips into the chorus that you sing and the beat drop before it sounds perfect.

the booth of you glance at one another in satisfaction at the song so far, sharing a smile as it continues before stopping at the progress so far.

"i think it's great so far." you say with a sigh as you sit behind the booth on one of the wheely chair turning yourself side to side.

"it's more than great." he mumbles.

the room is quiet and you decide to take out your phone, you glance at the time to see it read 10:43pm, it's getting later and you consider leaving within the next 20 minutes.

he finds an interest in the piano in front of the two of you, playing random notes that don't even sound too great together, you watch him finding the sight hilarious he notices so and shrugs embarrassed.

"i'm not too much a piano player," he sighs shaking his head trying to save himself, "i took lessons for a week and gave up on it." he clarifies and you nod your head numerously in a joking manner.

"can you even play any instrument?" you ask him genuinely and he shakes his head, your mouth drops in disbelief.

"maybe it's something i should get into, i don't play anything." he admits before smiling sheepishly.

"i'll show you something."

your hands find a placement onto the keyboard, testing out the position by pressing down on the notes to get the right keys. you begin to play something small and watch how his face turns into full surprise.

you smile as you continue before you get to distracted by him watching you and pause, "i can't focus with you watching me like that." you tell him annoyed and he laughs.

"forget i'm even here." he sighs closing his eyes and leaning back into your seat; you watch him do so frowning.

"how am i supposed to forget your there." you tell him but he doesn't respond so you exhale deeply before continuing to play the piano.

you'd admit, it's been a while since you've last played the piano but you've impressed yourself by still remembering the notes to the piece you play every single time.

you continue to play the piano forgetting he's even there until you come to an end, when you turn to look at him he's still laid back into his seat with his eyes closed, his hood lying over his head.

is he sleeping?

you hit him on the side of his arm and he winces before sitting upright, his hand rushing to soothe where he was attacked, "that fucking hurt." he groans and you smile to yourself.

"were you sleeping whilst i was playing?" you question him and he sighs still whining over the punch you just gave him.

"you didn't need to punch me like that," he starts watching how you only smile, "i wasn't sleeping, i was just resting my eyes innit."

you hum in response and watch how he sits upright in his seat rolling the chair over to stand beside you, he glances over the keys on the piano before speaking. "teach me something." he says.

"what am i supposed to teach you." you question him, he shrugs his shoulders with a yawn not helping you one bit.

"i dunno, maybe a chord or some shit." he utters and you bite your lip in thought of watch chord to do. he watches as your hand runs along the keyboard thinking of a position before it plays a chord.

he watches you carefully and when the pleasing sound rings he glances at you only to find you looking at him already, "did you see that?" you ask him and he shakes his head.

you roll your eyes in response, "what, am i supposed to get it on the first try?" he questions you confused only to see you nod.

you watch as his tattooed hand reaches over attempting to do the same hand movement that you did, but it doesn't succeed to make the correct sound.

"no, your supposed to do it like this." you mumble, your hand reaching over to correct his. you move his hand one down along and place it on top of his getting him to push it down as it sounds the correct chord.

"what chord was that?" he asks you curiously, you glance to look at him and it's only then you both notice how close you are to one another.

"c." you say. upon hearing your response he laughs to himself and you watch him confused, after seeing your confused face he stops laughing.

"it wasn't a c, for central cee." you mumble.

"yeah, definitely."

"you're not that special." you joke to him as you move your hand away from his and he nods gazing at you, it's only when you look up that your eyes meet his.

"mhm."

silence. you don't know what to say to him and you won't lie the way that his voice sounded when he hummed did something to you. you feel your cheeks begin to redden and you mentally curse at yourself.

luckily, the room is tinted dark blue so it's impossible for him to notice a thing; or it could just really be due to your melanated skin.

it's obvious that he notices how he's caught you out of words as a smirk grows upon his face, you watch his lips do so until he brings you out of your thoughts. "i got you quiet, i won." he mumbles.

you remain quiet not saying anything until the space between the two of you becomes smaller, before you could think of anything your lips press against his.

you can feel his smirk widen against your lips wider before he kisses you back, deeper but not too desperate. you don't even notice the fact you've just kissed central cee, your mind is just completely filled with.. desire.

the kiss runs long and you feel his arms wrap around your lower waist bringing you close to him, but the inconvenience of the chairs makes you get up from your chair and sit up on his lap instead.

it's then that everything hits you and you pull apart from his lips, your chest heaves numerously in sync with his and you eyes glance all over his face as you realise what's happening.

his gaze reads something completely different, his once playful eyes have turned dark and hazy showcasing lust instead it makes you ache for more and the position of you siting up on him creates even more need within your lower region.

"fuck." he says and before you know it, he's kissing you again. the kiss is more desperate and you fall into it, he takes the dominance but you try to keep a hold of everything by wrapping your arms around his neck.

you feel him grow harder and harder beneath you just how you grow desperate and desperate, you need him badly just as bad as you need him. you'd never ever think that tonight would turn out the way it did.

your hips subconsciously begin to move slowly against his but he grabs a hold of you stopping you, his lips part away from you and you frown at him, he sees this and smiles.

he kisses your neck and you lean your head back giving him even more space, you don't care that you'll probably end up with hickies all over your neck when you feel him slightly bite you, all you need is him.

"i need you so bad." he mumbles against your neck before pecking your neck all the way up to the side of your face, you look at one another before it hits and you share a smile.

before you know it your up from his lap and your hands occupy themselves into pulling his sweats down, when you see the sight of his harden self through his pants you glance back up at him only to see him covering his face with his hand.

you pull down his boxers and he springs free his member hitting you against your nose catching you aback, you stare at him for a moment but a moment too long and he peers down at you.

"don't just stare at it." he groans and you smile, you lick the tip of his cock and the pleasing sensation sends a moan to leave his lips. you tease him, your tounge running around the tip where he's most sensitive and he moans.

he grows to desperate and before you know it his hand comes up to your head, he finds a comfort in your hair before he pushes your head down his shaft slowly.

you breathe through your nose as you take in his size before growing used to it and beginning to pump your head slowly down his shaft continuously causing him to groan quietly.

he uses your head to help him reach his high, pumping you slowly down him but also muttering how good you are occasionally. you feel your eyes begin to water slightly but luckily you don't have to much of a gag reflex.

"fuck, you're so good." he groans as he watches you take him, his hand helping to move your hair away from your face, he closes his eyes tightly as he approaches his orgasm.

his moans become shorter and more intense and it's then you can tell that he's about to release any minute. perfect. you pull away from him and he looks down at you confused.

you watch as he glares at you annoyed, "what the fuck was that for?" he asks you but you don't say anything rubbing your mouth clean with the back of your hand.

his eyes don't leave you once, reading nothing but pissed at the interruption of his orgasm, he watches you as you take off your trousers and pants; his cock twitching ever so slightly as it pleads for your attention.

"you think i'd let you cum first?" you ask him and he furrows his brows in complete denial.

you approach him as you kick away your lower clothes that pool around your feet, glaring at him "fuck me then." you tell him, he watches you with his mouth agape never expecting to see you turn into a completely different person.

you lean against the producing equipment waiting for him expectantly, but when you feel his presence behind you and his hands hold your ass you let out a moan.

he slaps your ass, making you gasp at the sudden pain before he rubs your cheek to soothe it. he pulls out a condom from the inside of his pocket and you turn around to glance at him at the sound of it opening.

"you had that on you all along?" you ask him and he grins taking it out before pulling it over his cock.

"knew i'd need it." and with that he pushes himself into you slowly without warning making your mouth agape.

he waits for a moment until he's all the way in you before he starts to move, thrust in and out of you each time causing you to moan.

your bodies are in sync as he fucks you getting turned on by the sight of you bent before him as he fucks you senseless. he gradually becomes more faster and his thrusts become stronger.

"shit." you moan although your words sound all messed up due to the rocking back and forth you experience from his thrusts.

your hands hold onto the bumpy toggles in front of you trying to find something to hold onto as you take each thrust that runs through you. you're floating in ecstasy and it all feels too good.

he moans many things under his breath that you can't pick up on too busy by being engulfed in the intense pleasure you experience as you gradually approach your high.

you feel his hand reach over underneath you, rubbing your sensitive clit whilst he takes you; the feeling of him inside you, but his hand rubbing on your sensitive bud makes it all eventually unbareable.

your moans become louder and more desperate as you feel your high approaching; once again his hand slaps your ass earning another loud gasp from you.

your hair is held up my his hand and it's obvious your makeup is probably fucked up by now, but at this point that doesn't even matter to you anymore. everything just feels too good.

you reach your orgasm and pant vigorously, he notices this and pulls out of you rubbing himself with his hand as he releases himself inside of his condom.

you rest your head on the equipment in front of you as you both catch your breath, it's only then that you feel your legs become to grow all achy and weak.

"shit, my legs." you laugh to yourself as you wobble; he notices this and laughs tying the condom and obviously throwing it into the bin.

"good luck." he jokes and you roll your eyes.

"i need to shower." you complain feeling all sticky as usual after sex, he hums in agreement.

"i'll shower with you." he smiles.

you attempt to push him away but due to your growing weak legs you fail, instead complaining about how sore they are. seems like central cee has won in keeping you quiet.

"so are we gonna work on the track again?"

"probably not for now."

[slytherinshua]

ıllı　TABLOIDS GONNA LOVE THIS　( 휴닝카이 )

genre fluff , friends to lovers , popstar au , hueningkai x fem!reader   cw paparazzi here to ruin everything (be a helpful plot device) once again , not proofread   wc 1365   request @hyperdramas   note ik this idea was originally supposed to be indie band kai but the popstar fame idea was stronger than me skdjksd kai is so hot i love him, and hope you like it lyr !! tagging @soobchwe <3   net @kstrucknet @moadiarynet

Kai couldn’t write a single song that wasn’t about you. Although he always denied the fact, he knew that you were his inspiration. He poured his feelings out into pages and pages of lyrics, strumming patterns on his guitar in his studio for hours on end. The result was another smash hit, dominating the charts worldwide for weeks. Kai was known as a sensation, the best of his generation. No one knew who was the real reason for his success, though. Not even you.

You were back in Kai’s studio, legs sprawled over the back of his couch, staring at the ceiling as he played demos from his speakers. The beat was nice, and Kai’s vocals, although rough, still sounded heavenly. On rare occasions, you hated being the best friend to the world’s biggest artist. Wishing Kai was still a nobody like he was a few years ago, so you both could spend time together in the normal way. But most of the time, you loved every second of his popstar life. 

From hearing songs before their release, to free tickets wherever he was touring, you got benefits no one else did just from being Kai’s best friend. But you would never take it for granted. He would always be your friend before an international star. 99% of the time, you just saw him as your Kai, the same boy you had practically grown up with attached by the hips.

“So, what do you think?” Kai asked, pausing the song after the second verse. 

“It’s good. But you already knew that,” you said, smiling. “How do you manage to do it every time? The lyrics are always straight from the heart.”

Kai smiled. “I’ve just got good inspiration, I guess.” 

“And who would that be? Who are you singing your heart out for?” You crossed your arms, curious to hear his answer. If there was ever a chance to tease Kai about something, you would take it. Whether it was the fact that he had no friends or still slept with his childhood plushies, you never let him hear the end of it. A chance to tease him about a possible crush was an opportunity you wouldn’t pass up.

“No one in particular,” Kai shrugged, eyes darting up to the ceiling. You could tell he was lying immediately, and a grin spread on your face. 

“Come on, I know there must be someone! Every great artist has to have their muse.”

“Just someone I know,” he said simply, huffing at your stubborn resolve to get the answer out of him. He was really bad at lying, especially to you. But his stomach twisted at the thought of you finding out you were the inspiration for… every single song he ever wrote. If you found out, he’d either have a full album of relationship songs within the year, or a heartbreak album so depressing the entire world would be brought to tears. He wasn’t too keen on the latter.

“You know like… 3 people total. Me, Taehyun, and Lily. Oh my god— is it Lily!? Seriously?” you exclaimed, sitting up like a spring. Kai groaned.

“It’s not Lily. Stop wondering and help me think of a bass line,” he grabbed the bass from its stand and sat down next to you, thumbing at the strings to produce deep low notes from the instrument. 

You sighed, turning your attention to the notes he played. Your mind still lingered back to who his songs were about. You didn’t think Lily was a bad guess— she had even featured on one of his biggest hits. She had an insane voice that complemented Kai’s beautifully. It could be her.

But you also knew Kai was nearly incapable of lying to you. If he said it wasn’t her, then it probably wasn’t. That left the possibility of a mystery woman that he had met and you didn’t know about. Unlikely. Or… you. Very likely.

“Come on, let’s go out for dinner! It’s Valentine’s day. Neither of us have a date, so let’s just be each other’s!” Kai pleaded, pulling on your arm. He had shown up to your apartment with a small bouquet of roses, claiming he got it for you for a “friend date”. You had originally planned to stay in bed all night, watching rom-coms that would make you feel hopelessly single, but you couldn’t refuse a dinner offer from Kai. You put on the fanciest dress you could find and met Kai by the door twenty minutes later, taking the flowers from his hand. 

“You look pretty. Let’s go,” he said, smiling widely. He was out the door before you had a chance to process why your cheeks flushed from his comment. 

The restaurant he took you to was fancy, unsurprisingly. You didn’t even want to know how much the food cost. You could easily say it was the best food you had ever tasted, and it wasn’t like your best friend was struggling in the financial department. Valentines, which you always used to dread as it was spent single and depressed, was turning out to be quite pleasant instead thanks to Kai. Until you heard the unmistakable sound of a camera click from behind you.

“Kai,” you whispered, grabbing his attention. “Is someone taking pictures of us?” 

He looked around, alarmed, eyes scanning the other tables like a hawk. Once he located the camera, and the paparazzi it belonged to, his face twisted in irritation. He was used to his outings getting ruined by flashing cameras and crowds of people asking for autographs, but he hated that you had been accidentally dragged into it. He could already imagine the headlines tomorrow if those photos reached the public. He was at a romantic restaurant, dressed up, on Valentine’s day, with a date. 

“Go to the bathrooms. I’ll meet you there. Try to keep your face covered, okay?” he instructed, tone softening although he still looked pissed. You nodded and stood up, weaving your way through the tables of people until you found the bathrooms. 

The wait for Kai to join you felt like hours, and you were hyper alert for any sign of cameras or flashes. Even running into other people walking past the bathrooms had you tense. You knew the power paparazzi had, especially if their pictures reached tabloids. Huening Kai was the hottest star in the industry, and millions of people were desperate to get a glimpse into his personal life. A leak of this size could cause headaches for weeks. You hoped he could handle the situation well enough. 

When Kai finally arrived, he ushered you into one of the unisex bathrooms and closed the door, locking it for privacy. 

“So, bad news. The entire world may think that you’re my girlfriend tomorrow,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair and pulling on the strands in frustration. 

“What?” 

“There were multiple people and they all got pictures. I think they already got leaked by now. Even if I sue them and get the pictures taken down, millions will have already seen them. I’m so so sorry,” Kai told you.

Your face fell, knowing there was nothing you could do to prevent it. You really should have stayed home and watched those romcoms instead of going to dinner. 

“I can say that you’re just my friend. I don’t know how believable it will seem, though. We both dressed up for this, and it’s freaking Valentine’s day.” 

You sighed.

“It’s okay. What if… I just pretended to be your girlfriend? Then you won’t have to try to do damage control,” you offered, mulling over the options and outcomes. 

“What if you didn’t have to pretend?” Kai asked, taking a brave step for once. 

“What do you mean? We’re not dating.” 

“We could be.” 

“Are you seriously asking me out in the bathroom of a restaurant?” you teased, making Kai smile.

“And if I am?” You knew that look in his eyes, a soft glimmer. He really was in love with you.

“Then, I guess I’d say yes,” you smiled. He was lucky you were just as in love with him. 

“Tabloids are gonna love this story.”

txt taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @90steele,, @ddeonudepressions,, @cham3li,,

@wolfmoonmusic,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @blossominghunnie,,

@amara-mars,, @wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,,

@bananabubble,, @talkingsaxy,, @sxmmerberries,, @talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,,

@cupidslovearrows,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @stannwjnss,, @gong-fourz,,

@nonononranghaee,, @forever-atiny,, @stantxtforabetterlife,, @loserlvrss

[not-the-coffee-machine4]

My Favorite Chaotic Queen Moments Part 4 (edited to provide sources)

Penguin: *poops all over couch* Freddie: Roger, what did you do!!!

Roger: *flexes his vocal range* Freddie: I hate you, b*tch (could not for the LIFE of me find the audio file with Roger’s high note but I found Freddie’s part at least)

Roger shaving one leg for the IWTBF video and then giving up in exasperation

Band makes a song almost entirely devoid of instruments. It ends up being one of the most iconic songs ever (We Will Rock You)

John throwing peanuts in Brian’s hair during his guitar solos

Freddie getting angry and spontaneously firing everyone in his vicinity in Garden Lodge, only to be reminded that he cannot, in fact, fire his partner, and then laughing and promptly reinstating everyone (pdf page 89)

That one time Roger and Crystal were in a bar, and when asked what they did for a living they said they were vacuum salesmen (to maintain anonymity I think). Except the guy then asked follow up questions and they found themselves having to make up shit about vacuums for like half an hour (the very bottom one)

Roger driving down a mountain in a blizzard while hanging out the window to clear snow off with his hand because the windshield wipers broke

Roger and John competing against each other in a car race 

Freddie writing Crazy Little Thing Called Love in a bathtub

John going out to buy a shirt and coming back with a beer (😭) (I linked the secondary source but it’s pretty buried in there so here’s the snippet)

Hot Space taking so long to record that their producer’s (Mack’s) pregnant wife told them that if she has her baby and they’re STILL not done, they all had to be godfathers. They said one baby having four godfathers was ridiculous. She had the baby before Hot Space was done. Freddie and John ended up the godfathers and she named the baby John Frederick, aka “Little Freddie” (as opposed to FM, who was “Big Freddie”) (also, Mack’s son talking about it)

[I had the thing about Roger asking out Rosemary Pearson RIGHT after she broke up with Freddie here but apparently she may not be all that reliable so consider that one alleged]

Brian getting stopped at his OWN BAND’S CONCERT because he forgot to show his backstage pass

That one time Freddie and Jim were sitting together, and this lady came up and started flirting with Freddie, asked if he had a wife and Freddie proceeded to put his hand on Jim’s knee and say “yes, this is the wife” (pdf page 51)

[harrysfolklore]

grammy at wembley - bandmate!yn blurb

gif by @londonharry <3

BANDMATE!YN MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

Wembley Stadium buzzed with excitement as the crowd eagerly waited for the big night to start. Feather boas, cowboy hats, pride flags and colorful signs were everywhere in sight in typical Love on Tour fashion.

Tonight was one for the history books. Harry was closing out a successful run of 4 sold out nights at Wembley Stadium, and his family, friends, colleagues and all kinds of loved ones came together to support him.

To celebrate said shows, Harry had a lot of surprises in store, including letting each of his bandmates be an opening act for a different show; and even though it took a lot of convincing, his girlfriend agreed to take part for the final night.

"I'm not sure, lovie. I mean people like what I do as your bassist but my own work? I don't know if they would like to hear that." YN said when Harry brought up the proposal.

"They would, because you're insanely talented and everyone deserves to see it."

And with a few more kisses and sweet words, YN accepted to perform and delivered an impeccable set that was loved by everyone in the stadium, specially Harry who greeted her as soon as she was off the stage and held her as he said how proud he felt.

Now, the band was getting ready to hit the stage together one final time, gathering around in a circle as they always did.

"Okay, I'm not trying to get sentimental over here," Harry spoke to his bandmates, "But these past shows wouldn't had been possible without you, so let's do it one last time for London."

"Let's go!" Pauli cheered hyping everyone, and then they were off to perform.

The evening went on filled with music, excitement and love. Harry charmed the crowd as usual and the band gave their best playing their instruments.

"I'd like to take a few second, no, not a quick second, a brief moment to introduce you to my wonderful band." Harry said into the mic and proceeded to introduce each of his bandmates, leaving his girlfriend last as usual.

"And finally, in bass and vocals, YN!" she waved out to the crowd, but surprise filled her face when instead of moving on with the next song, Harry continued speaking about her, "YN, you're not just my bandmate, you're also my girlfriend, my musical soulmate and my partner in crime," Harry said, putting a hand into his heart and making the entire audience become emotional, "Tonight is a very special night, and I want to give you something that is just as special, and celebrate with everyone here."

A trace of confusion flickered across YN's face, not sure about what Harry was about to do, she leaned closer and her voice came out in barely a whisper, "Harry what's going on? Don't tell me you're proposing becau-"

"I'm not proposing, yet," Harry interrupted her with a wink, "Just wait here."

He walked towards the side of the stage where a crew member handed her the a shinny item that YN and the rest of the crowd was yet to identify, it was when she took a proper look at the golden trophy that a wave of realization hit her body.

"No way, Harry. Is that?" YN said off the mic to him when he was next to her.

"It's your Grammy, baby. Came in the mail the other day and I decided this was the best way to give it to you," Harry shrugged, pulling her into his arms in hug, "Congratulations, bandmate."

YN pulled back to look at him, she was aware of the thousands of fans watching them but she still pulled him in for a quick kiss before speaking, "Thank you, this is magical."

Harry only pecked her forehead before speaking to the crowd again, "Give it up for YN! Grammy Award winner for her collaboration as a songwriter and producer in Harry's House!"

The audience broke down in cheers and screams as YN held her award up, and as the crowd continued to celebrate, she thought that the award not only symbolized a musical achievement, but also the strong bond she shared with Harry, one she wishes would last forever.

taglist: @lightsoutstyles @waitingroomharry @willowpains @straightontilmornin @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies

tell me if you want to be added to the taglist <3

[lilgarbitch]

Running in Circles - Eight

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: Depression, FP (favorite person) thoughts, past addiction, mentions of losing a loved one (I think that’s all but please let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 10.3k

Author’s Note: I had most of his written and ready to go before I took a break from posting. I went back and forth for a long time, debating if I wanted to keep her backstory like this, but I want a complex MC. I want to bring awareness to topics like these and I want people to see inside the mind of those who struggle with things like this. (Also very sorry I keep changing the names of characters. Y/N’s ex is now Chris, because I hated the name Ronnie.) (Also I’m working on editing the pictures and shit for the past chapters so sorry that things look different)

Tags: @theanarchymuse95 @dontwantthemoney @chey-h @badomensgoodomens @bloody-spades @blade-dressed-in-red @xmads-omensx @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @thatchickwiththecamera @tosoundlessdarkistare @lacy1986 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @death-ofpeace-ofmind @heyyoplayer

Part Seven

Y/N

“Guys, stop, you’re gonna break it!” I laughed out, yelling at Cal and Damien, who were messing around with the control board in the studio. 

The boys ended up coming over to Dave’s house, and after about twenty minutes of them freaking out about meeting Dave and all of Lorna Shore, followed by walking through the house in complete awe, they became quickly acquainted… a little too quickly. 

The group’s personalities were a little too alike, and now I was back to babysitting multiple grown men. I had to ask Dave to follow my idiots to make sure they didn’t break anything of his, but he just laughed me off, even though I was completely serious. 

Now, my boys, Dave, Will, Moke, and I were all hanging out in the studio as the rest of the guys did who knows what. I’m afraid I’m ever going to leave this room. My boys got a little too excited seeing how professional everything was, and Dave, enthusiastic at the thought of showing more people his things, told them to have fun. Which wasn’t the best idea, seeing that they were now touching absolutely anything they could get their hands on, and I could feel my blood pressure rising. 

Will and I just sat back and watched as Cal, Finn, and Damien treated the room like a zoo, and Dave and Moke explained what everything did. I couldn’t have been more stressed out, knowing how they treat their own instruments, but Will did his best to keep me calm, saying that if they did do something they weren’t supposed to, Dave would let them know. And I was realizing just how little our band knew about things like this. When we produced our music, we ran shitty software on Cal’s PC after recording in a “studio” at the local music shop, thanks to Damien knowing a guy who worked there and was willing to hook us up. While we were technically under a label with our “manager” coming from them, it wasn’t a big one that helped us with any production or promotion. We did that all ourselves. And it was also now hitting me that the only reason why we were even able to join such a large tour was because Noah probably begged his band and management to set it up.  

“Y/N, why don’t you check more things out? I’ve only seen you in the booth,” Moke shouted towards me in the midst of the chaos, pulling me out of my overwhelming thoughts, “Do you play any instruments? Or only vocals?” 

“Oh, she plays a mean guitar,” Damien answered for me, making me shake my head. 

“I do not. I’m so bad at it, which is why I only sing on stage. But I used to play the piano,” I answered. Dave walked past me to his wall of guitars.

“Well, I don’t have a piano…yet. But why don’t you show us what you can play?” He said as he grabbed a guitar off the shelf and walked it over to me. I eyed the guitar, then him, then at the rest of the guys staring at me. 

“Why am I the one who’s always put on the spot?” I semi-joked as I took the guitar from him, staring at him apprehensively.

I stared down at the guitar in my hands. I didn’t want the boys knowing that I actually really enjoyed guitars, knowing how the whole vocals thing went earlier in the tour, but I couldn’t help but admire the Taylor 814ce. One that was handed to me like it wasn’t a dream to touch, let alone play. 

I was never confident in my guitar playing, especially around Finn and Calum, who could pick up any song you throw at them and perfect it in a week, and how they always helped me if I needed someone to play a few chords to help me with getting a song worked out in my head, so I never really felt like I was one to admire such a beauty if I wasn’t the most informed in the group. But this was a beauty.

After a few moments of taking in the amazing condition Dave kept his instruments in, I finally turned back to the boys. 

“So uh…what do I play?” I ask sheepishly. I don’t even know if I remember any of the songs I learned all those years ago, and being put on the spot really wasn’t helping me think. 

“What’s that one song you always used to play in highschool? I remember when I showed you my first Fender, you started playing that one song…uhhh ‘You’re only six feet tall’ or something like that?” Finn suggested, making me chuckle. 

“That’s an easy song, definitely not one I’d choose to show off my talent if I had any,” I reply with a smirk. 

“Still, I haven’t heard you play or even sing that song in too long. Give it a go. Please?” I looked at him for a moment before rolling my eyes and getting the guitar in position. 

It had been years since I played ‘On the Brightside’, but it’s just repeating chords, so stare down at the strings and try to wrack my brain of which chords those were. 

I begin strumming what I thought might be them, but it still sounded off. My hand instantly went to the pegs, before pausing and looking up at Dave, silently asking permission to butcher the tuning of his gorgeous guitar for a single song, but he surprisingly nodded. 

As I start tuning the E string, finally hearing some familiarity in an E flat, it all starts coming back to me. I eventually tune every string to a flat, and start strumming a few chords, making sure that I actually remember them correctly. Once I got the hang of it, I began. 

I met a man of two feet tall

This man was quite ambitious

In a world that is so vicious to us all

I said, “Hi,” as he replied

He said, “Listen to these words that I have lived by my whole life”

”You’re only as tall as your heart will let you be

And you’re only as small as the world will make you seem

When the going gets rough and you feel like you may fall

Just look on the brightside, you’re roughly six feet tall”

I couldn’t hit Christofer Drew’s high notes, but I continue strumming and bringing this song back into my heart. Not that I normally can forget songs, but this one will forever be ingrained into my brain. I’ve lived by these words since the day I first heard this song, and it was one of the first ones I ever tried learning on guitar when I was young. It has been quite some time since I’ve played it, but now that I'm doing it again, it’s going to be a while before I forget it.

I am a man of six feet tall

Just looking for some answers 

In a world that answers none of them at all

I’ll say, “Hi,’ but not reply

To the letters that you write 

Because I’ve found some piece of mind

Cause I’m only as tall as my heart will let me be

And I’m only as small as the world will make me seem

And when the going gets rough and I feel like I may fall

I’ll look on the brightside, I’m roughly six feet tall

I softly hold out the last note and let the chord ring out for a few moments before pressing my hand down and stopping it, looking up at everyone. Moke, Dave and Damien clap with an impressed look on their faces, Damien’s being a little smug, as Finn and Cal give me a pleased smile, seemingly happy to hear me play again. 

“Damn, dude, is there anything you can’t do?” Will asked with a laugh beside me, making me chuckle.

“It’s a seven chord song. Damien could probably learn it,” I tease, causing an offended “Hey!” from Damien. Will pats my shoulder with a smile. 

“I’m serious. While you’d definitely need lessons to do anything near Adam, Andrew or Finn’s level, I’m convinced there’s nothing you can’t easily learn.”

“Oh, there’s a lot I can’t learn,” I said with an eye roll. One thing being how to stop messing shit up in my life, but I don’t say that out loud. 

The boys go back to chatting together, occasionally mentioning how we should find a studio as nice as this to practice in New York, but I stay out of the conversation. I do my best to retune Dave’s guitar before sliding it back on its stand, not wanting to feel like I messed with it too much. 

As I make my way back to my seat, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I slip it out and unlock it as I sit back down. 

Matty- Hey, sorry I missed your texts. The guys and I have been spending time with Noah. I don’t want to get into it too much over text, but he seems to be regretting that party. A lot. 

Matty- Sucks I couldn’t have met Will and hung out with everyone, but since we’re home and have some sense of normalcy back after about a month, we were hoping that might help him out a little bit. 

I stare at Matt’s texts for a few moments, trying to understand. He regrets it? I’m assuming he means sleeping with that girl, since I haven’t heard about him doing anything else stupid, but is he really regretting it that badly? 

Yeah, it upset me and threw me back into a bit of a rut, but those are easily triggered when my feelings get hurt. And I already knew that trying anything with Noah would put my feelings on the line, especially going so many years thinking of him rather than getting out there and moving on from him or my ex.

I sigh and think for a moment. I don’t know if Noah found out anything about Will and me yet, but I don’t want him regretting doing something we both did. Not that I can truly justify our actions, seeing as we both made bad decisions, but it’s not like it ruined everything between us, especially since this sounds like he regrets it because he wants to work on us, not because he had a one night stand. Hopefully.

But if he regrets it, that might mean he hasn’t heard anything yet about Will and me. Will that crush him? I keep ruminating in the thoughts until I’m pulled out by a hand touching my shoulder. I glance over and see Will, looking at me a little concerned. 

“Everything alright?” he asks with a quiet voice, not wanting to bring attention to me just in case. I do my best to give him a small smile and nod. 

“Yeah, there’s just something I have to do,” I reply softly, patting his hand before standing up. 

I make my way out into the hallway outside the studio, trying not to look upset so no one questions me, and pull up my contacts on my phone. 

I type in his name and click on it, bringing it up to my ear as it starts ringing. I glance around the hallway, not really wanting anyone getting any juicy gossip from the call and spreading anything, especially since Will’s whole band doesn’t fully understand what’s happening between the two of us. 

After it seemed like he wasn’t going to pick up, I finally hear Ruffilo’s voice on the other line. 

“Hello?” He answers, seemingly confused on why I called.

“Hey”

“Hey..uh…Is everything good?” It sounded like he almost said my name, probably refraining if he was around Noah.

“Yeah. Well..kinda. Matt told me why he was busy today and I just… I have a few questions and you’re the one who will have the most answers.” 

“Hold on,” I hear shuffling on the other line, probably him getting further from the guys so they don’t hear him talking about Noah, “Alright. What’s up?” 

“I really don’t know how to ease into it, but does Noah know about Will and me?” 

“I mean, pretty sure he has assumptions. No one’s been confirming or denying anything, worried it’ll upset him more,” he answers with a sigh. 

“Okay. I just didn’t want it to hurt him more if the information surprised him later. Another thing. I obviously don’t exactly know why he’s regretting the party, and I’m not sure how to get this information to him, but could he know that I’m not upset?”

“You’re not?”

“I mean, I really have no right to be. We both made bad decisions in the last week. Hell, we both made bad decisions since that night in the bar, but I don’t want it hurting him. What happened between us from the beginning was a little insane, and truthfully, I don’t think there’s a right way for either of us to have dealt with it, so I want him to know that I’m not upset with the decision he made. I do think it was dumb, mainly because it seemed like it was out of self destruction, but so was mine, so it’d be pretty hypocritical.” 

I hear him sigh on the other end, making me bite my lip as more stress seemed to fill me. 

“Listen, I’m really sorry to be putting you in the middle of this. I would tell Matt, but I don’t exactly know Noah’s feelings about him right now. And I know, that out of any of the boys, you have his best interests in mind, so-“

”Y/N, it’s okay,” he says, cutting me off on my tangent, “I’m just thinking of the best way to bring it up. But I’ll tell him. Not only do I want to see him back to his old self, I really want you two to make up. Especially with how happy he was when he knew we’d be touring together. So don’t worry, I’ll do my job and hopefully we can finally hang out as a group again soon.”

”Thank you, Nick. I really hope him and I can clear the air soon and be able to be around each other again without any tension. I miss hanging out with you four.”

”And we miss you. Alright, I’ll go sit him down and talk to him and let you know how it goes. But I gotta get out there soon before they come looking for me.”

”Bye, Nick.” I say with a small laugh. 

“Bye, Y/N” And then the line goes dead.

I let out a sigh and stare up at the ceiling, praying to whoever the hell is listening that I can fix all of this the best I can. 

Noah

I walk around the corner into the kitchen, needing to get a drink, when I hear Ruffilo’s voice. I don’t hear another, so he must be on the phone. I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but as I made my way to the fridge, he was in perfect distance for my snooping ears. 

“We miss you...and talk to him...Bye, Y/N” I manage to pick up, with my ears instantly catching her name at the end. 

Why was he talking to Y/N in secret? Miss her? Talk to who? Me? I stood there with a confused look on my face until he came back through the hall, stopping once he saw me. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, seemingly not knowing what to say. 

“Was that Y/N?” I ask, trying to keep any tension out of my tone.

”Uh.. yeah.” He finally said. I stood there, staring at him, waiting for him to continue. It was obvious that I had questions, so I assumed he’d try to explain, but instead looks at me like he got caught doing something he shouldn’t.

”Okay…” I start off, “And I guess I wasn’t supposed to hear that then?” 

“What? Oh. Yeah, no, she uh… she called me. She told me to tell you that she isn’t mad at you,” he spits out at the end. I look at him even more confused. 

“Dude, what? Mad about what? Because if she wasn’t mad about everything happening the first week of tour, she would’ve talked to me by now…right?” I ask. He sighs and walks closer, coming and leaning on the island of the kitchen with a weird look on his face.

”She kind of spilled it on me, and I was hoping I’d have a little more time to think of a less awkward way to tell you, but that was her telling me to tell you that she isn’t mad about Halloween. I’m assuming that also means she isn’t upset about the whole fight you had either.” 

His words play in my head as I take them in, trying to make sense with the situation. And then they actually set in. 

“Fuck! She knew about Halloween?!” I start pacing. “No fucking wonder she went radio silent with everyone and then pops out with Will two fucking days later.”

”Oh, so you do know about her and Will?” He asks. I nod, because of fucking course I knew about them. Even with her apology-cover-video, it was obvious that her and Will were a thing now. 

“Apparently she heard that you weren’t taking everything well, and since she didn’t exactly think she could just call you, she wanted me to tell you that she wasn’t upset. She specifically said about Halloween, but she also mentioned wanting to work on the tension between you two, so I’m taking that as her not upset about the argument either,” he adds. 

I mirror him, leaning onto the island as I process everything. So she wasn’t upset anymore? Is it just because she already moved on and figured there's no reason for bad blood anymore? 

“She’s with Will now, isn’t she?” I ask, trying to understand the situation we were in.

“I mean, yeah, Calum, Finn, and Damien headed over to hang with the whole band earlier today, so I’m pretty sure,” he answered. I just nodded.

Things were finally starting to click. She was having a lot more fun with Will, so it was obvious if she wanted to try to make things work with him instead. And she still wants to be friends, which I’m willing to work with. It’s going to suck, but that’s the headspace I was in before her and I finally talked. As long as it means she’s in my life, I can work with this. 

“Okay,” I finally say. 

“Okay?” Ruffilo asks. 

“That’s good to hear. I don’t want her mad at me. I’ve been wanting to apologize, so I’m glad it seems like she’s finally wanting to talk to me again.” He gives me a slightly confused look before relaxing and nodding.

”Yeah. I’m not sure if we’ll see her anytime before we get to our next show, but I’m glad tour will run a little smoother now that you two can work on making up.” I do my best to give him a small smile and nod, already thinking of the next time I get to talk to her again. 

Y/N

After saying goodbye to everyone, the boys and I made our way to the car they borrowed from one of the guys, Will included. Listen, making a new friend, especially one you can only hang out with for the next day and a half, means you’re going to want to spend as much time with him as possible. So the boys are going to drop the two of us off at my hotel, since I’ve been spending way too much money on a room I feel like I’ve barely used, and I’m going to use this last day as my actual day of relaxation since my plans went to shit the second the Halloween party happened. 

We all pack into the minivan, the boys still riding the high of hanging out with another large band and learning so many new things from them and Dave, and we take off. 

“We really need to talk more about what’s coming next with our band,” Cal randomly threw in, “With Y/N finally accepting to do heavier vocals, I really think we could transform our sound in other ways.”

”What do you mean?” I ask. He turns around in the passenger seat to face the rest of us with that look on his face. The one that tells you that he’s been thinking about something way too much and is destined to make it happen.

”What if…I start playing guitar?” He finally says. We all stare at him for a few moments, both confused and intrigued. 

“Play…guitar. And then what will I do?” Asks Finn. 

“You’ll also play guitar.”

”Wait! Are you saying you’re gonna learn rhythm guitar?” Will cuts in, making Cal nod excitedly. 

“I can play bass and guitar, and have been missing guitar, so why not practically combine the two?”

“But do you know how hard it is to find a bassist? Especially one that’s not already in a band?” Damien says, making Cal face him.

”Well, we obviously have time, seeing as we still have a few months left of tour and will barely have time to work on new music…but we do already know another bassist.” Cal pretty much sings the last part, like he sees himself as a genius for this plan. 

”What? Who?” I ask. He gives me a smirk. 

“I mean, we did just meet him, and I haven’t heard him play, but the way he was talking about it makes me feel like it’s worth a shot.”

”Who- Wait! Austin?” I ask, earning another excited nod from Cal, who was practically leaning over the center console at this point. 

“I know it’s crazy, but he was so cool and the second we got to talking about music and playing bass, the ideas just started forming, so I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. And then after today and talking to Moke about it, I think it’s a really good idea. At least for us to think about and maybe talk to him about once we get an idea of what we should do with our sound.” 

“I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to try. Will and I have been throwing ideas around as a joke, but if you guys are down with it, I say let's get our ideas brewing.” I reply. Finn and Damien nod, seemingly running ideas through their own heads already, until Finn whips his head towards me. 

“Speaking of, what the fuck is going on with you two?” He asks, holding two fingers out to point at Will and me. I stare at him, a little stunned, before turning to Will on the other side of me, who has a sheepish look on his face. I turn back to Finn and awkwardly shrug.

“I mean, a lot and nothing at the same time.” I say. 

“And what the fuck does that mean?” Damien says with a laugh. I let out a sigh and lean against the back of the seat. 

“So I know I haven’t really told you two what’s been happening, other than that Noah and I haven’t exactly been on good terms lately, but a lot has been happening. And then at his birthday party, I found out that he slept with someone else.” Damien whips his head around to look at me, shocked, before quickly turning back to the road.

”He what?!” He practically yells. I nod before continuing.

“I was upset at first, like really upset, and that led me to wanting to…make some bad decisions.” Cal looks at me with a sad look, already knowing how bad I can get sometimes. 

“Hun, you know you can talk to us. I was wondering where you went when you disappeared from the party and then practically went MIA for a whole day.” Finn said, giving me an equally pitying look. 

“It’s okay now. Matt was nice enough to drive me back to the hotel, and after rotting in bed for a night, I ended up just buying a fuck ton of new clothes and going out to the club. So no bad decisions yet, but I was planning on it. I don’t know if I was looking to get back at Noah that night, or if I just wanted to get my mind off everything, but either way…I ended up taking someone back to my hotel room…” I continue, trailing off at the end. Cal instantly cranes his neck around the back of his seat to stare at Will, who just gave him an awkward smile. 

“I was indeed Mr. Rebound that night,” Will bashfully added. I nodded before continuing. 

“We both agreed that it was a one time thing and that it wasn’t going to be awkward, which I’m really glad about, because the last two days have been really fun just hanging out as friends.”

”Okay, but what about the rumors online? There’s a pic of you two walking down town, and then another that Austin posted of you two being quite snugly together.” Finn asked.

”That’s the thing. With everything going on with Noah, the last thing we need is the fans shoving their noses into all of it. So Will and I figured to just let those rumors run while Noah and I work everything out. I’m hoping I can get that information to Noah soon, not wanting to deal with any more miscommunication, but we still haven’t talked since that night in the bar.”

”And how do you plan on dealing with that?” Damien asks in an almost condescending tone, making me sigh. 

“I talked to Ruffilo today and told him to pass along that I wasn’t upset anymore and that I wanted to try working on everything between us, so I just have to wait for Noah to be up for it and willing to chat, I guess.” I answer, just as we pull up to my hotel. 

“I really want to hound you for more info right now, but I guess I’ll wait until we’re stuck on a tour bus together,” Finn says with a sigh. He leans over and gives me a hug as Will gets out of the car. 

“Love you. I’ll catch a ride to the house the morning of so we can head to the bus together, alright?” I say as I pull away from Finn and turn to Cal and Damien. They give me a smile, nod, and I make my way out of the car, meeting up with Will. 

We both wave to the boys as they drive away, then make our way up to my hotel room. Once inside, I quickly move to my suitcase and grab clothes, heading for the shower. 

“I’ve worn these clothes for way too long and my hair feels like I could fry bacon on it. Make yourself comfy,” I tell Will, earning a laugh, before shutting the door behind me. 

After turning on the shower and waiting for it to heat up, I stare at myself in the mirror. I look both rejuvenated and like I’ve been run over by a truck. I pull my hair out of the hair tie I put it in earlier today and brush out all the knots before finally stepping into the shower. Almost instantly, I feel the muscles in my shoulders loosen. I’ve been holding onto so much emotion lately, and while the war isn’t over yet, I have hope of the sun shining again. 

I spend a little too long in the shower, letting my thoughts ruminate on my plan and everything that has happened lately as I slowly clean off almost 3 days worth of sweat, dirt, and bad decisions. Finally leaving the relaxing water, I dry off, get dressed, and join Will. I see that he’s just playing on his phone, so I round the bed and fall face first onto it next to him. I feel a hand on my back as I bury my face into the mattress, letting out a deep sigh. 

“You alright?” he asks, lazily rubbing his hand against my shoulder. I do my best to nod with my face smushed, before turning my head and trying again. 

“I just wish I didn’t have to deal with all of this on top of dealing with my first big tour. I won’t be surprised if I start going grey before I even make it back home,” I mumble, the exhaustion evident in my voice. 

“I know. And it sucks that you didn’t get to do much relaxing on your break, but you have tonight and tomorrow, and if you need me to get out of your hair, I will,” he said in a soft voice, “Also I don’t think you’ve mentioned where you’re from. I heard someone talk about the east coast, but that’s about it.”

”You’re fine. I’ll lock myself in the bathroom if you get annoying,” I softly chuckle, “ And I grew up in Louisiana, but the boys and I are currently staying in New York. Kinda between NYC and Staten Island.”

As I say that, his hands stops rubbing my shoulder, making me look up, catching a shocked look on his face. 

“Dude, you live an hour away from me,” he finally says, making me cock my head, stunned. 

“You’re joking.” I laugh out as I sit up to face him. 

“Dude, we’re hanging out all the time when your tour ends. Bro…” He starts to sit up, getting excited, “I have so much shit to show you down by where I live. And you’re showing me shit, too. This is great. I was so worried about when we’d get to hang out again.”

I laugh at his excitement, feeling the same. We didn’t have many friends up where we lived. Yeah, we made friends with a few other local bands, but never had the time to actually get close to them outside of occasionally playing together, so knowing Will was about an hours drive was amazing to know. The two of us talk, making plans of different things we want to show each other when I’m back home, until we finally both get tired and eventually crash.

Y/N

The tour bus shakes as we drive over what I assume was a pot-hole, causing my pen to scratch as I try to write. I let out a small curse, not in the mood to be dealing with any more inconveniences. 

Music blasted through my headphones as I wrote down more and more shitty lyrics. I gave up on journaling, just turning every thought I had into ideas for new music. I’ll eventually work all of this out with someone to make it actually make sense. 

After a day of bumming out with Will, him needing to leave the night before we hit the road again, and then a simple yet awkward encounter with Noah and the boys, we were finally all back on our buses and continuing the tour. Nothing really happened when I stopped by the boy’s place to meet up with my band, Finn and Damien taking up most of my time making sure we had absolutely everything perfect before leaving. I exchanged a few greetings with the other group, finally speaking to Matt for the first time since the party, and Noah and I just gave each other a small smile before we were hauling our belongings and taking off. 

The tension seemed to ease, but it wasn’t gone. It’s still a work in progress. The first few shows after we got back were a little awkward still, but we were able to be in the same room together and not have the tension between us fill the room. But it also didn’t help that I just haven’t been in the best mood since getting back into it.

I wish I could easily explain why the second I stepped onto the bus and we all got settled, my mood shifted again, but I’m doing the best I can to use it to my advantage and not have the other boys worry about me. I thought the break and last day of relaxation would help me, but I think it may have made things worse. I think after the days of chatting with Will, then finally meeting him, him turning into an intense healing experience, that leaving him was a little harder than I expected. I knew he became a feeling of safety while I was with him, but I wasn’t expecting to attach to him that badly. 

I may have become addicted to his presence while I had it. The comfort it gave me. How easily he helped me work through everything I’ve been dealing with, and then easily distract me from it all right after. I truly hadn’t had someone in my life like him in…probably forever. 

I’ve had this reaction to two people in my life so far. First was Finn, back when he was my only friend. I followed him around like a puppy and every time he was busy and couldn’t spend time with me, I just felt lost. Like my entire existence started orbiting his. When he introduced me to Damien and Cal, and I started feeling closer to them as well, the connection dispersed between them all, dwindling the dependance I had on Finn. So once I saw all of the boys equally, all as brothers instead of one being my favorite, I lost the intense obsession with our friendship and was able to actually enjoy the time with and away from them all. 

The second was my ex. He even reciprocated the obsession. It was the most unhealthy thing I’ve ever experienced. I did everything to please him, and he’d never let me go. He got me hooked on things I can’t even think about, purely because I wanted him to appreciate me and he wanted us to connect more, even if it was through addiction. 

I didn’t see the boys for months at one point, just spending every second by Chris’ side, either strung out, playing music, or fucking. It took so long for me to realize that I wasn’t actually happy living like that. And the realization only came after I found out he decided to ‘move on’ while on tour. He still gave me the same sweet talk every time I called, but was actually fucking every fan girl he had.

I finally managed to break through the obsession, with my boys’ help. I left and got clean. I ignored every message Chris sent. I didn’t want to live like that anymore. And life was going fine…until I got the news. He died while on tour. I was even more of a wreck for the months following that than I was when I was with him, but with enough support and distraction from my boys, I did it. 

Over the course of about a year, I found healthy coping mechanisms, mainly music, and persevered. I got better. I used my emotions about it all for our music, yet did my best not to dwell on it all, and things worked out. Our band flourished. Even with the whole Noah situation, I knew how to handle obsessive thoughts and I thought I was learning how to be better. 

Things were good. I was good. I was happy. To not rely on another person for my own comfort felt amazing. But now the feeling was back. And it was attached to a person I couldn’t stay close to. Will went back to New Jersey and I had to hit the road. I was doing my best not to seclude myself, but I didn’t want to keep ruining everyone’s mood all tour, so I’ve just been hiding in my bunk or the back of the bus, mainly using the excuse that I was working on songs so they’d leave me alone. 

It wasn’t a romantic obsession. It barely felt platonic at this point. My brain just felt like it needed him now. I needed to know that he was there for me. That he was doing good, just so that I could be doing okay, too. But with all of these feelings came with me pushing him away. Between hoping that staying away from him would ease this feeling, and the weird pain in my chest that I’d get every time he was too busy to talk, I just began ignoring every message and call. I couldn’t feel the pain of being ignored or alone if I ignored him. 

The boys have definitely noticed that something was off, but with everything happening, they most likely figured it was just the stress of everything happening, so they’ve been helping with what they could. Every time we got to a venue, they’d let me seclude myself on the bus until it was time for sound check. While the other guys did their soundcheck or did their set, they’d let me wander off, assuming I just needed more space. But I think they were getting a little concerned with the fact that I’ve been a little more distant with the crowd. I don’t mean to. I felt absolutely terrible, but my mind was a fucking mess between planning out how to get the whole Noah situation fixed and feeling like my safety blanket was left behind. 

I just slowly became numb on stage. Finn had to start asking the crowd for the ‘Fan’s Choice’ song after I completely forgot about it one night. I faked a laugh and did my best to play it off, but I knew my boys were starting to see right through me, so they took that resposibility from me and started doing it for me. 

After our sets, I’d do my best to thank the crowd with a smile and walk off, but the second I was off stage, I was instantly walking away from everything. I’d either hide in the bathroom or my bunk. A few shows, I’d just go for a walk if we were in a nice area and only come back when I knew we were packing up to head onto the next show. I heard one of the boys give the group another excuse every time, but I could tell that even they were starting to catch on, too. At first, I was getting a ‘hope you feel better’ text from Nick, Matt stopping by before we hit the road to give me a few extra waters and snacks, and even had Jolly ask if I wanted to join him while running to the store, assuming I just needed a break from everyone and everything. But when I got a few texts from Ruffilo, I knew at least he had caught on. 

It hit me like a ton of bricks once I got the courage to read it. I haven’t replied yet, not knowing my answer, but I’ve been debating it. I know he’s a good person and an amazing friend, seeing how sane he keeps his friends, especially Noah, but I would feel terrible adding my problems onto his plate. But I also keep telling myself that he wouldn’t reach out unless he was completely serious. 

Speaking of Noah, nothing has really happened. He’s acting differently, but still keeping his distance. Maybe because he can sense that I may need it, but it seems like he needs it, too. I have no way of knowing what’s going on inside his head, but I’ve been regretting that cover I did. Even though I told Ruffilo to let him know I didn’t have any hard feelings about us anymore, I definitely added more confusing feelings to everything we’ve been dealing with. I haven’t gotten a reaction or response or anything from him about it, but I know the boys showed him. 

I want to reach out. So badly. But I can’t. I haven’t said more than a handful of words to my own bandmates lately, ao speaking to him is currently off the table. 

Life has just been a mess. I can’t speak to anyone. I’m ignoring the one person who could help me, purely because I’m convinced it’s going to make it worse since I can’t handle these obsessive feelings again. Finn almost yelled at me for smoking yesterday, but once he saw the look in my eyes, he just pretended like he didn’t even see me. I know my boys want to reach out to help, but I feel like they know that it won’t go anywhere. They haven’t seen me like this yet, but they can pick up on how I’ve acted before and can see that there may be no pulling me out of this funk. I’m just going to have to do it myself. 

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about falling back into worse things, but I couldn’t do that to the boys. To the person they love and to the career we finally got moving forward. Or the other group. They chose us for a reason. I couldn’t have them thinking they made a mistake. I couldn’t have them getting any heat because they’re now associated with a band whose frontman was strung out on stage. And I couldn’t do that to Noah. He’s dealing with enough. I know that even if I become the worst version of myself, it’ll never push him away, it’ll only drown him. 

So I’m going to stick to secluding myself, blasting music, occasionally smoking a much needed cigarette, and writing more songs. More than anything did I want to call Will and ask for help, never writing songs like this before. And I couldn’t show these to my boys just yet, not wanting them to see these emotions and having to deal with the absolute trainwreck on paper they were at the moment, so I was stuck trying to work it out myself. 

I feel the tour bus pull off to a rest stop again, probably the 7th time today. Damien was complaining all night about his stomach after eating out with the guys last night, and you can’t exactly use the toilets on the buses, so he had to repeatedly ask the driver to stop when we could. It only bothered me because we were constantly going between the lulling rumble that I’ve finally gotten used to again, to the idling shake as we waited. And I desperately wanted to step off and stretch my legs, maybe buy a snack or something, but I really didn’t want to leave my bunk and be seen by the others. 

I was brought out of my thoughts by the curtain of my bunk opening slightly, with Finn’s head peeking through to check on me. I took a headphone out and gave him a fake half smile. Seeing that I was awake and willing to give him my attention, he pulled the curtain back more and gave me a pitiful smile, before handing me a tea and candy bar.

”I figured you’d want something sweet since Damien always hides the good snacks,” he said, sounding a little timid.

I eyed the snacks in his hand for a moment, before reaching out and taking him. I gave him a small ‘thanks’ and he looked a little too excited to hear me speak to him.

I was waiting for him to leave just like every other time he not so subtly checked on me, but he just stood there, internally debating something. 

“Can we please talk?” he finally asked. I looked at him, about to tell him that everything was fine and not to worry, but something in me wanted to finally give in. 

“Only to you..” I spoke softly. He instantly nodded and looked around the bus, before beckoning me to follow him. 

I paused my music and slid out of my bunk, finally stretching my legs a bit, before following him to the back of the bus. There was a curtain you could pull to close it off from the rest of the bus, so once we entered, he closed it so we could have a little privacy. Once we both sat down, he began speaking. 

“Okay, I don’t want to push you, so only answer what you feel comfortable with, okay?” I nodded and he let out a deep sigh. 

“My love. I am so unbelievably worried about you. We all are. Even the other guys. I know that you have these moments and that life is kind of a mess right now, but I just need something from you. I need to know that you’re still here. That you’re still you. Please.”

”I..I’m sorry..” was all I could get out. He gave me a sad look. 

“Please don’t apologize for this. I just need you to know that you don’t have to deal with this alone. We’ve been here for you before, so I don’t know why we can’t help you now.”

”I’m just dealing with things I haven’t dealt with in a long time. Things I never really mentioned to anyone before. So it’s weird talking about them now.” He reached his hand out and held mine, rubbing his thumb over the back to try and soothe me. 

“You know we’d never judge you. Yes, we tease you, but never about your problems. And you have new people in your life now who love you almost as much as we do, and you’re not talking to them either. Will has been blowing up my phone, asking for any updates I can give, because he’s terrified, thinking of all the reasons why you’re not talking to him.”

My head dropped at the mention of his name. Fuck, I am hurting him. He doesn’t deserve this. 

“I…I can’t”

”Can’t what?” He asked. 

“Talk to him…” He gave me a confused look.

”You looked so happy spending time with him. You were so upset knowing you couldn’t see him until we get back home. What could have possibly happened in that time?”

I just sat there, staring at my hands, debating if I share one of the most embarrassing things about myself. I could barely look him in the eye when I had to ask for help when dealing with Chris. It took me forever to tell him everything about Noah. Can I tell him this?

I felt droplets falling onto my hand, making me realize I was now crying. I tried to reach up and wipe my tears, but Finn beat me to it. I finally took this moment to look him in the eyes for what felt like the first time in forever, and my heart broke at the pain in them, caused by me acting like this. With a deep breath, I began to tell him everything. 

I told him about how safe Will made me feel. How terrifying it was getting to be away from him. I told him about how this happened in the past. But this time, it was feeling so much harder to deal with. Pushing myself away from him before it hurt me more. I told him about the cravings. Apologized for smoking. How I wish none of this ever happened, because I couldn’t handle dealing with all the emotions. I even finally told him about the cover I sent to Noah, and how I haven’t heard a single thing from him since. Everything that has been running through my mind the past few days just spewed from my lips, each sentence hitting Finn like a truck full of pain. 

He did his best to comfort me, but because most of it was problems he never had to work with before, we were both left feeling lost. So now I was silently sobbing into his chest as he held me, telling me that it was okay and that we can work this out. 

After about ten minutes, my sobs dying down, I finally spoke again. 

“And to top it all off, the 17th is coming up..” I said with a sniffle. The 17th was the day Chris passed. It was always hard for me, but I’ve been able to handle it the best I could in the past, but with everything happening this year, I don’t know how hard it will hit me.

”Oh, Hun..” he said, frowning, “We can get through this like we always do. It’s a completely different problem for you to deal with, so if we just seperate that from everything else, I promise we can work through this.”

I nodded and gave him another hug. I was definitely feeling better now that I finally let tears fall and let my thoughts out on more than just paper. 

After collecting myself a little more, we stood and made our way towards the front of the bus. The boys looked shocked to see me. I know I probably looked like a mess, as I’ve only been putting effort into my appearance when I go on stage, but they were definitely more shocked to see me coming to them for the first time in over a week. 

I walked to Damien first and gave him a big hug. He tensed in confusion for a second, but quickly relaxed and squeezed me tight. I giggled softly until he finally let me go, then did the same with Cal, who welcomed me with open arms and a proud smile. He held me close and dug his face into my shoulder, like he truly missed me. Then more arms joined us. I was now the center of a group hug and couldn’t help but laugh as they squeezed me half to death. 

“I’m so glad to see you doing better,” Damien said, and I heard his voice waver slightly. I felt terrible doing this to them. 

“I’m sorry for acting like this, I really should be coming to you when I need help, it’s just hard. But you’re the best family I could’ve asked for and I really need to take advantage of it,” I said as they start pulling away.

”Anything you need, we’re here for you. Always,” Cal stated. 

“Now that you say that, I might have something I could use your help with,” I mumbled.

I took a deep breath. I had to do this. It was an outrageous step, but it was what I needed to do if I wanted to start working on myself. I stepped forward towards the mic and looked over the hundred of cheering faces in front of me. I took out my ear piece, wanting to feel closer to them as I began speaking. 

“So, I know that there’s been some speculation lately. On how shit I’ve looked the past few shows,” I let out a little laugh, “And mainly my interaction with all of you. And I’m very sorry. I know excuses are a terrible apology, but I feel like I should explain just a little.”

The crowd died down, letting me give my speech.

“I know all of you understand what it’s like to have a bad day. Nothing goes right, you don’t want to talk to people, and you just want to lose your mind a little but. Sadly, that’s been a little too common for me lately. Life has been crazy, everything seems to be going wrong, and all I want to do is lay in bed. But you all push me to persevere.”

I pause to collect myself, knowing this will be a little rough for me.

“Now, I’m going to be very vulnerable here. When I look out and see all of you, I see a safe space, so please be nice to me,” I laugh again before taking a deep breath, “I used to deal with a lot. Life became too much and I chose not so great people to be around. With that, came falling down the pit that is…addiction…Now, I’ve been clean for coming on six years-“ The crowd cheered as I said that, causing my lip to quiver and I could feel emotion building in my throat, but I held my composure, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t still have those bad days. I struggle with a plethora of mental health issues, and sometimes I want to fall back into the false safety of those old days. But I don’t. Because of the boys behind me,” I pause and hold out my arms, motioning to my bandmates, “Some amazing people that have come into my life recently,” I glance over to the side stage, catching a shocked Ruffilo and Noah, Jolly and Nick creeping in behind them to hear what I have to say, then out towards Front of House where Matt sat, before finally looking back at the crowd, “And most importantly, all of you.”

I pause to wipe a tear that fell down my cheek as the crowd cheered once more.

“So, today, I am sadly once again revoking the privilege of the ‘Fan’s Choice’ song. I know. I’d hate me, too, but the reason I’m doing this is because I’ve learned that the best way to convey a message is through music. I have so much I have to say, and I am unbelievably bad at speeches, so I’m using one of my favorite songs to speak to you all.”

I pause to wipe a tear that fell down my cheek as the crowd cheered once more.

“This is wildly out of our genre. While that has never been a problem to any of you before, I still feel as if I should still warn you. Now, without further ado, here’s a song that has helped me more than I could ever explain.” 

An array of applause flows through the building as the boys got ready to play. I was thankful they were so incredibly talented that they were willing to play a song that they had just learned earlier today. I take a look back at them, and once they all gave me a thumbs up, I began. 

I started using again

Left my heart in Rocky Hill

Hole burning in my head

Needed a distraction from my head

Devil on my shoulder said try this instead

So I started using again

A saw a few fans singing along, both warming and breaking my heart. To know this song meant to know struggle. But to share that with them meant so much. 

I started sleeping again

Traded late nights and sheep for Vicodin

The guilt burning in my chest set it

I started sleeping again

I took the mic off the stand, getting ready for the next part, wanting to finally feel emotion in the music I perform again.

I stopped wishing I was dead

Learned to love myself 

Before anyone else

Become more than just a burden

I know I’m more than worthy of your time

I drop the mic to my side as Damien went crazy on the drums and Finn played a riff that he managed to execute perfectly, before singing again. 

I started smoking again

Guess I missed coughing my lungs up

Every morning 

Needing anything to keep me breathing

To prevent my blood from bleeding

I started smoking again

They all stopped playing, besides Finn picking the soft tune on his guitar. 

I started loving again

Thought when I lost that will to live

I could never feel again

I’ll give it one more shot

And let someone in

I started loving again

Cam started playing again, getting louder by the second.

I started loving again

I started loving again

I started loving again

I took a deep breath, putting the mic back on the stand, but then grabbed the stand to stabilize myself. 

I stopped wishing I was dead

Learned to love myself

Before anyone else

Become more than just a burden

I know I’m more than worthy of your time

I’m more than worthy of your time

I’m more than worthy of your time

I stepped away as the music died out. It took a few seconds, but soon the cheers came rumbling through the building, causing a smile to form on my face. I hated being vulnerable, but it was time. I’ll never fully heal that part of me, but being able to do this in front of so many supportive fans was a huge step for me. 

After giving the crowd a long and appreciative goodbye and doing my best to hype them up for Bad Omens, even after the emotional show we had, the boys and I made our way off stage. I desperately wanted to run back to the bus and hide like I had been doing all week, but I pushed those thoughts away and walked towards backstage. This would be the first time I was going to really talk to the other band since the halloween party, other times just giving passing words, barely giving them a glance. 

With a deep breath, I stepped into the room and all of their eyes shot up to see me. I wanted to cower away, hide from the confrontation. It was bad enough that I just said all of that to thousands of fans, now I had to deal with these four, and it was going to be so much harder. 

None of us seemed to know how to react. I noticed that all of them had slightly puffy, red eyes, Noah’s being visibly redder than the rest, but I didn’t want to think about that too much to keep my own at bay. 

“So uh… I guess this is where I apologize for how I’ve been acting...” I awkwardly trail out, shifting between my feet as they all just stared at me. 

“What? No! You don’t have to apologize!” Ruffilo rushed out as he stood to walk towards me, “I’m just glad you’re okay. We’ve been so worried about you. And oh my god, did that take some balls out there.” 

A smile creeped onto my lips as he talked. It did feel really good to take that step and get some of this off my chest. The rest of the guys stood and walked towards me, Noah trailing behind, keeping his distance. 

“Y/N, you are one strong motherfucker. Never apologize for that. We all understand that life gets bad sometimes and you just need a break, but I want you to know that we would never judge you for that.” Nick said. 

I couldn’t stop the tears before they came pouring down my face, despite not wanting to spill any more. All I could do was raise my arms, and they came in to give me a hug. I did my best to keep my tears from getting on Ruffilo’s shirt, but I feel like the fans would understand if they did see a wet spot. 

I opened my eyes during the hug and saw a pair of skinny long legs standing awkwardly behind the others. With a small laugh mixed with a choked sob, I beckoned with the hand closest to him. 

“Noah, get your ass in here.” His breath audibly hitched as I said his name, but he slowly made his way in and joined us. Then the three boys behind me did as well. And now I was trapped between seven men with no way out, slowly losing oxygen. 

“Okay. Okay. I need to breathe.” I finally exclaimed after a few moments, making a few of them laugh. 

They all pulled away and a few of them even wiped their eyes as they did. 

“I love you all. I really do. I know I haven’t put much effort in getting close to some of you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you all mean so much to me,” I spoke, looking at all of them, “But that being said, wipe your tears and get out there.”

They chuckled and went back to getting ready to head on stage. Noah lingered a little longer than the rest, like he wanted to say something, but decided against it and joined the rest of them. 

“You gonna stay and watch our set this time?” Jolly called out as he walked towards side stage. I give him a small smile. 

”I have to call someone first, but I’ll be there.”

[thegreatimpersonator]

since y'all seemed to want this.... here's the live notes i took while listening to each song for the first time (bold are thoughts i had during later listens)

fortnight: 

‘i was a functioning alcohol till nobody noticed my new aesthetic’ what the fuck does that even mean…

love the fact she gave post the female collab treatment. don’t wanna hear what he has to say. 

they’re voices sound actually good together? 

some pockets of the melody are catchy

okay i don’t hate this 

ttpd:

her red flags are on fire in this song lol

this seems very half-cooked

also jacks weird mixing continues to plague us all

CHARLIE PUTH???? WHAT THE FUCK WHY HE HERE

tattooed golden retriever??? ……no way

my boy breaks all his favorite toys:

i blinked and it’s half over

this also is like… half cooked and didn’t need to be released tbh

i love the way she sings the second verse tho

down and:

the production does not match the vibe

did tpain produce this

i’m… kinda bored lol

like i have nothing to say this also didn’t need to be released tbh 

this grew on me a lot actually

so long london 

the production is so futuristic? 

oh im obsessed with how she sounds on this one

her talk-singing in the verses is great

honest lyrics without any clunky unnecessary metaphors! a win!!

the fast-paced verses with th slow chorus is really really cool

a favorite so far

daddy i love him

i can barely hear her? the bad mixing continues 

‘growing up precociously sometimes means not growing up at all’ oh yeah WE KNOW

is this…… is this about her dating matty and loving how people hate him… no fucking way she’s this stupid

SHE IS BEING THIS STUPID

‘it’s white noise’ yeah yeah that’s exactly how id describe him  

.... anyway y'all remember when fans really believed the little mermaid theory and this song was supposed to be about how 'joe stole her voice' lmaooo

we will pretend this one doesn't exist!

fresh out the slammer

are we getting another ‘i didn’t cheat technically’ song lol

what is this weird tempo change….

okay kinda catchy

it’s sounds exactly like you are in love at the end….. jack is really out of tricks

florida

‘my friends all smell like weed or little babies’ what the fuck is she even talking about anymore 

i’m sorry but i’m laughing at the phrase ‘fuck me up florida’

again the production sounds so detached from the vocals 

i honestly still have no idea how i feel about this one

guilt as sin

an real instrument?? wow crazy 

okay she’s kinda cute? catchy and fun, love the melody

i love when she goes up at the end of the vocal 

okay…. i don’t mind this one she’s catchy, a little too long and drawn out but cute

who’s afraid of little old me?

what is this production? it’s way too soft to be as threatening as they’re trying for 

why did jack push her vocals back so far when she’s supposed to scream…. that’s ruins the whole thing…. she’s supposed to be screaming and threatening….. not quiet and far away…. hello

this song is trying very hard to be threatening but it’s not... vigilante shit 2.0

‘you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum they raised me’…………… upper middle-class pennsylvania? 

‘i’m drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all say, that’ll  sue you if you step on my lawn’ okay bar?

the bridge was good but that’s about it.

i can fix him 

…………… not another matty song oh god

‘i can handle a dangerous man’…… im too stunned to speak this is so embarrassing 

wow taylor really is that girl who like ‘women supporting women’ and then dates/defends a racist bf…. a walking example of white feminism

intersectional feminism found dead.... twice....

loml

okay this is really nice? 

I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE SONG WHY DID SHE RUIN IT BY SAYING ‘MR STEAL YOUR GIRL’ 💀

if we ignore that one line we're good this is good. im refusing to let that line ruin such a good song

i can do it with a broken heart

‘bitch smile’ why are there so many cringey lyrics on this album lol

what is this song omg why do i kind of like it 

taylor please learn depressed isn’t a synonym for sad 

they recycled the mastermind production 

wait till taylor finds out most of the entire world is sad while they're doing their job and has to pretend they're not

smallest man who ever lived 

oh i think i like this?

‘you said normal girls were boring’ GIRL AND YOU DIDNT IMMEDIATELY GET UP AND LEAVE??? EWWWW??? she's not beating the pick-me allegations

'i just wanna know if rusting my sparking summer was the goal' okay love that line

i like this a lot

the alchemy

no….. no way this is real

i cannot

THE SPORTS METAPHORS WE JOKED SHED DO THAT AND SHE ACTUALLY DID IT OH NO 

touchdown ✅ teams ✅ benches ✅ winning streak ✅ the league ✅

she’s doing…… the worst thing ever this is so laughable 

the corny lyrics are on overload 

‘this time it’s heroine with an e’ didn’t she write folklore? i can’t remember 

that literally was an snl parody of a taylor song

clara bow

love how the guitar sounds… bet money this is an aaron track 

a stevie nicks reference!! a win!!!

i like this one a lot no cringey lyrics yet

nope never mind she name-dropped herself don’t like that

overall really liked it tho

the black dog

i think i like it?? this is kind of what i expected the album to be

okay for once the weird production choices kind of pay off

imgonnagetyouback

kinda catchy? 

she loves a fancy car getting wrecked line

the pre-choruses are the best part 

this would’ve been better without the jack of it all bc he loves a song that doesnt build to anything

this just comes down to personal preference: i don’t like her lighter vocals with jack’s heavy production (ie most of lover lol)

the albatross

a real instrument!!! production that matches taylor’s voice and is well mixed!!! aaron’s arrived!! 

i think it’s solid, has good writing and she sounds great. that's about it.

chloe or sam or…

took me a solid minute to have any semblance of a fuck to know what was going on but okay

okay i love this one

wayyyy more emotive than like… most of the original album

a lot of the 2nd version (or whatever this is lol) are way more emotive, maybe because her voice isnt drenched in reverb so we can actually hear her voice emote better

how did it end

this sounds like an old school adele song? 

i love this one too…. 

her being upset people wanna know what happened but then also feeding it while promoting the album oop 

i love the story of this one it's so refreshing

so high school

THE PRODUCTION is so good ugh aaron never fails 

the man here is a walking red flag girl and the lyrics are ~not it~ but the production is too pretty to hate it

fuck these lyrics are so bad lol

maybe if i disassociate hard enough i can ignore the lyrics and just listen to the production and vibe

give me a karaoke version of this song and we'd be so back

i hate it here

i mentioned disassociation and she made a whole song about it!!!! this one’s mine!!!! 

‘without all the racists’ GIRL HUH

WHAT WAS THE REASON

also... girl don’t act like we don’t know you’re fine with that lololololol

if i had a dime for every time i was liking a song to then have it slapped away because of a bad, out-of-pocket lyric…… 

thank you aimee

this isn’t grabbing my attention 

oh the bridge is interesting 

it’s meh 

i will never be thanking the people that bullied me thanks tho

i look in peoples windows 

what do you mean aaron didn’t produce this??? it’s well-made and has instruments? 

i love this one, again a really interesting and unique concept that's very refreshing to hear at this point when a lot of the songs feel repetitive

the prophecy

aaron guitar!!!! 

she’s nice i like her 

i've really grown to love how she sings this one, the melodies are cool.. however i feel like we've heard the same melody.. like on this exact album... where she upturns at the end of every line...

cassandra 

this seems very…. familiar… idk i feel like we’ve covered this (i mean there are 31 songs we’ve already covered everything lol)

this is such an aaron song, that's a classic 'the national' piano

i like her voice in this one tho, sounds good

peter

oh love i love this

now this? THIS feels the most like a taylor swift song

once again she’s at her best with a simple instrument and emotive simple lyrics

the piano reminds me of champagne problems

the bolter 

i like this! the chorus is so cute

oh i like that ending line a lot!

she’s cute, a little long and drawn out but cute

robin

i haven’t seen anyone talk about this one

welp…. i literally have no feelings toward this one but sounds pretty! 

the manuscript

oh this is soooooooo powerful 

i love this concept 

her ending the album on another introspective album that sums everything up a la dear reader yep yep!!

if you actually read of this ily 💗

[sleepanonymous]

i saw in a passing comment somewhere, i believe it was on a video of iv’s vocals in rain, someone said he previously did harsh vocals in another band and my brain.. oof. if that is indeed true i wish there was a way to listen to them without things being spoiled. but for right now if the closest we get to appreciating his growls are from rain, vore and tmbte we are blessed. and the antIVist performance, never forget 🙏🏻 that one altered my brain chemistry in the best way

I’m feeling ballsy today, I guess, so I’m gonna answer this one. Under the cut though, so people can scroll past if they wish 🖤

Okay Anon, ty for bringing this up because I’ve wanted to talk about this forever. It’s likely, of all the band's he's been part of, that the comment you saw was talking about an EP IV made with a total of five members from two other bands, one being Wilderness. (UK) and the other being another band that IV was a tech/guitarist for.

This group called themselves Mourn, and IV was the vocalist. They unfortunately only released four songs on an EP titled The Next Life. Mourn’s genre was metalcore, and they described themselves as delivering “a powerful sonic experience of crushing instrumentals, vicious vocals and relentless energy.” The lyrics have a heavily religious undertone, backed by the The Next Life’s artwork being a distorted rendition of the Annibale Carracci painting Christ Crowned with Thorns.

It’s unclear exactly who wrote what for Mourn, as all five members are listed as composers. There are also no credits to a producer, so the EP may have been produced by one or multiple band members as well. In Wilderness. (UK), Mourn’s bassist is credited as the lyricists, and Mourn’s drummer is credited as the recording, mixing, and mastering engineer. In a playthru video on the band’s YouTube channel, IV is the lead vocalist and he is backed up by the bassist (he’s definitely been working on breath control and stamina, compared to some recent videos of his screams in Rain). I was thinking about taking the Full Band playthrough on YouTube and editing IV out, but I have no energy for that 😅 I do have the ripped MP3 in the Lost Media folder, if you want to give it a listen.

The Next Life EP was released September 3, 2021, just a few weeks before TPWBYT. The band was only set to have played one live show, in February of 2022 supporting Decapitated, but it’s possible the band dropped out or the show itself was canceled. All I could find online for the date were some news articles/Facebook posts from the announcement but no photos or videos from the actual concert for any band listed on the bill.

It's theorized by fans that this band dissolved after IV left to focus solely on Sleep Token, but I’m not entirely sure that’s the case, or the sole reason. The first tour Sleep Token did in 2022 began in August, and the last tour they did ended in November 2021, so it’s not exactly like IV would have been incapable of performing with both bands. It wouldn’t be the only instance of one of the members of Sleep Token performing in multiple projects at one time.

I’m not confident enough to upload the music onto Tumblr, but I’ll happily share the band name and YouTube/Spotify links with anyone who asks. I ended up compiling the lyrics to the four songs on the EP in a Google Doc a while back for a fan who wanted to avoid IV’s name (since his name and face are plastered onto this band). Also, there were two posts from last month (? maybe September) that brought this band up, and I’m pretty certain they both had audio attached. Unfortunately, I could only find @kaddyssammlung's post for one song, and its the studio version of the same song I added to the Lost Media folder.

If anyone can direct me to the second post, please do so and I will link it here 🖤

I’ll leave you with this gem of a photograph from the band’s Facebook page. Man loves his hoodies and sneakers istg.

[falloutbradreviews]

Let’s Talk About Patrick Stump’s Solo Career: Soul Punk Is An Underrated Classic

Patrick Stump of the pop-punk band Fall Out Boy is my favorite vocalist of all time. I’ve had to think about that for many years, because there are tons of amazing singers out there from all genres. Rob Halford, Sam Cooke, Frank Sinatra, and many more are great singers, but Patrick Stump has always stuck out to me. His voice started off relatively rough around the edges on their early material, but you can hear the makings of a killer vocalist on 2003’s Take This To Your Grave. Throughout the next few years, his vocals would get better and better. They would finally culminate on 2007’s Infinity On High and 2008’s Folie A Deux, where he could show the world that he’s the best pop-punk vocalist and his vocals were frankly better than the genre. That’s why when Fall Out Boy went on hiatus in 2009, Stump pursued a solo career that a lot of people were somehow surprised by, but they shouldn’t have been surprised if you were paying attention – R&B, soul, and funk. Fall Out Boy’s last couple of albums before their hiatus had traces of R&B, soul, and funk, but Stump’s solo career went full-fledged into it. I wanted to talk about Stump’s brief solo career, because I’ve been going back to some Fall Out Boy records, and his solo material is something I haven’t heard in a long time. I just talked about 2008’s Folie A Deux, as well as posted a ranked episode of their albums that’s updated for the year of our lord 2025, but I kind of wanted to post retrospectives of almost everything. I’ve talked about Infinity On High a million times, so I don’t know if I’ll talk about that one again, but I’ve got From Under The Cork Tree, Save Rock & Roll, So Much (For) Stardust, and Take This To Your Grave left to talk about.

Stump’s solo career is also incredibly interesting, because people were not receptive to it whatsoever, despite his debut solo album, Soul Punk, being one of my favorite pop records of all time. I haven’t listened to Soul Punk in quite a long time, but I’ve been going back to it recently, and it’s a killer record. Soul Punk is also a severely underrated record, but I don’t think fans were ready for a Patrick Stump solo album. Fans already hated Folie A Deux for some reason, and I still haven’t figured out why. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t a pop-punk record, but Infinity On High wasn’t, either. I think that album had just enough of their older sound to appease fans, but Folie A Deux went fully into pop-rock. Soul Punk, unfortunately, went further into pop, soul, R&B, and funk, and people just didn’t like it. Stump got so much backlash at solo shows, he eventually disappeared for a year out of the public eye, and penned a scathing blog post towards fans in which he said, “they liked him better fat.” It’s such an ugly display from fans, but like with Folie, fans have come around to the album. There’s a lot to really love and appreciate on this record, whether it’s Stump’s vocals, the lyrics, the instrumentation, or the production, especially because he did it all himself. This is a 100% self-made record. The only guest spot on the album is Chicago rapper Lupe Fiasco on a remix of lead single “This City.” I had never heard his verse until recently, because I decided to check out the deluxe edition of the album, and it’s okay, frankly. It’s a very simplistic verse from him, especially compared to his usual fare, but it wasn’t half bad. The rest of the album, however, is all Stump. He wrote, produced, and played on the record all by himself.

Because Stump is a producer and multi-instrumentalist, I’m not surprised that the instrumentation and production is fantastic here. This album is so full-bodied, and nothing gets overshadowed by anything else. You can hear his vocals just as well as the instrumentation, but I love it. The most interesting part of this album are his lyrics, because Stump was never a lyricist in Fall Out Boy. That was Pete Wentz, the band’s bassist, and he has such a unique and distinct lyrical style, but do Stump’s lyrics reach the same level of cleverness, memorability, and uniqueness? No, but he has a different writing style that’s a lot more direct, earnest, and straightforward, all the while still being memorable and enjoyable. Songs like “Dance Miserable,” “The ‘I’ In Lie,” “Run Dry,” and “Coast (It’s Gonna Get Better)” are pretty straightforward tracks, but the lyrics are very earnest and heartfelt. They express ideas that people can relate to, whether it’s sobriety, unfaithfulness, depression, or just staying positive. This record is also insanely catchy, as Stump has an ear for melody. He always has, especially with Fall Out Boy; albums like Folie A Deux and Infinity On High have some of their best melodies, but even on their post-hiatus material, a lot of their melodies are relatively strong.

While I like a lot of the melodies on 2013’s Save Rock & Roll and 2015’s American Beauty / American Psycho, 2018’s M A N I A and 2023’s So Much (For) Stardust have some of their strongest hooks, especially in the latter. So Much (For) Stardust is their best album since Folie, and it’s in my top three of Fall Out Boy albums because it reminds me so much of Infinity On High and Folie. It has that pop-punk spirit, but it also has the R&B, soul, and funk sounds that Patrick really liked back in 2007 / 2008, and it modernizes it for 2023. I just really love Soul Punk, because I had wanted a solo record from Patrick for years, but the one we got was a pleasant surprise. I hadn’t really listened to pop music at the time, but I credit this record and Michael Jackson’s Thriller with getting me into pop music. I first got into music at an interesting time, because pop music was in a weird place. The club boom was happening, and artists were making really generic, boring, and uninteresting dance-pop that appealed to the lowest common denominator. As a teenager at the time, it just didn’t interest me, so I had to go back into the past to get more into pop music. Patrick Stump’s Soul Punk was a perfect glimpse into the past, but still being modern and new at the same time. If anything, I think this album has aged like fine wine, because it has an 80s pop, R&B, and soul aesthetic that The Weeknd co-opted just a few years ago on Dawn FM, so I think Stump was ahead of his time in being influenced by Michael Jackson, Prince, and the like.

I also went ahead and listened to the deluxe edition of Soul Punk, because I had never listened to the bonus tracks before, and while I can see why they’re bonus tracks, I still really enjoyed them. It was just great to hear Patrick on his own for once, but you can’t deny the magic that the four members of Fall Out Boy share when they make music together. It was still cool for Patrick to make a solo record, and out of the solo work that the members put out during their hiatus, Soul Punk is my favorite. I will say, though, that drummer Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman had a heavy metal band with members of Anthrax and Every Time I Die called The Damned Things, and that was a close second. Their debut from 2010 is an absolute banger of a record, and their follow-up in 2019 was pretty solid, too. Soul Punk is easily my favorite of the solo projects that the band put out when they were separated, but it’s an underrated masterpiece, nonetheless. Like with Folie A Deux, I don’t know why people hated this so much. Maybe it was since this was unashamedly a pop record, but why is that a bad thing? I think fans were so used to the band putting out pop-punk stuff, they didn’t like the fact that they were moving forward and moving out of that scene. Some bands can make it work by playing the same type of music throughout their whole careers, such as Blink-182, New Found Glory, and some other mainstays of the scene, but Fall Out Boy were a cut above the rest by wanting to expand and experiment. Sure, their post-hiatus material is very much pop-rock and even leans into Imagine Dragons-level arena-rock / pop-rock by American Beauty / American Psycho, it was different and not just retreading the past. So Much (For) Stardust was a great culmination of everything they did prior to that, even including some of Soul Punk, but Soul Punk itself is such a great record, and it’s criminally underrated, even 14 years later.

[arewedoneyet]

men's folio article via mens-folio.com/my

With buttery vocals, princely features and the penmanship of a lovelorn poet, Jeff Satur is about to sing his way into your heart — one story at a time.

What makes a good story? And what makes a good storyteller? For music savant Jeff Worakamol Satur, these are the two questions that have kept him on his feet the past decade, fuelling his fearless desire to know, love and showcase his most authentic self to the world.

Magnetic in look, sound and craft, Jeff has managed to dabble in multiple genres of music — and play various instruments — without losing his signature, velvety sound. While he did skyrocket to fame portraying Kim on the TV show KinnPorsche: The Series in 2022, Jeff singing its theme song, “Why Don’t You Stay,” was what converted many casual onlookers into full-time Jeff fans (or SATURDAYs). They are now hooked onto his buttery vocals — which not only eloquently and evocatively sing in Thai, English and Chinese — but Jeff is also the very person who produced and wrote the stories in these tracks.

With ancestral roots tracing back to China, India and Italy, it is no wonder that the Phuket native navigates expression and interaction in these vastly different languages without losing their nuances. It is the openness to embrace diversity in cultures and ideas that his fans continue to grow in numbers from all corners of the world.

Since starting his personal studio — Studio On Saturn — at the end of 2022, Jeff has held concerts all over the region, most recently completing his Space Shuttle No. 8 Asia Tour in April to celebrate the release of his first full album. His appearances on music variety shows like China’s Call Me By Fire Season 3 and, most recently, Chuang Asia: Thailand — a Thai idol survival show spin-off based on the Chuang franchise in China — have also appealed to fans in a new way. His hold over both seniors and juniors in the music industry is a testament to the piercing allure he has that transcends age and gender.

Then there is his relationship with Valentino, which comes to a surging point in this interview’s accompanying visuals — each party egging one another in their courageous pursuit of new, creative frontiers.

This is not the end. There is still so much more power that Jeff has yet to harness from stories — which communicate and entertain without the boundaries of time and space, and have decidedly become a grand purpose that he is working to fulfil. From music, the big screen, and finally the horizon, Men’s Folio sits down with the prodigious artiste to discover what makes him tick and perhaps what kind of tale he would charm us into next.

Hi Jeff! How have you been?
I’ve been very good. Fantastic, actually.

We noticed you have said goodbye to your signature long hair. Why did you decide to cut it?
I had to change my hairstyle for a movie I was filming. I also had to change many other things about myself, including how I spoke, reacted and moved — so much so that I had to attend workshops. So, I thought changing my image would help me immerse myself in the role.

Congratulations on completing the Space Shuttle No.8 Asia tour! You have mentioned before that going on a solo tour has been your dream for the longest time — now that both your debut album and solo tour are done, how are you feeling?
It’s a pretty weird feeling — I just want to do more and more. I wanted to tour more and create more songs. It’s a strange feeling to me. It’s more fun to me now, especially since I’ve completed it. It’s like the end of one dream is leading to the start of another.

What is something new about yourself as an artiste or person you learned from going on tour? It must’ve been tiring, but seeing all that support (from guest artistes or close friends attending) must have been very empowering too.
What I’ve learned along the way is to be present with the audience. They give you so many different experiences and learnings from place to place. The show is never the same, even if the song and setting are. Everything is different. For me, I like to be there with them; I give my all and soak in the moment from my fans. Being in the moment without a script really pushed me to be a better artiste, and I believe it made me a better human being.

We have to talk about about your first on-screen mentoring stint on Chuang Asia, especially after that “Dum Dum” performance. How was it like mentoring so many aspiring artistes-to-be at once?
Guiding and mentoring new artistes is a dream that I only just recently realised (I had). It means a lot to be there, to guide and watch these artistes where they are now, doing things they previously couldn’t. I just have so many feelings. I’m so proud. There are many things in the industry that might break you along the way. While I don’t know it all, I hope what I’ve experienced in my career can be, in some way, helpful to them in their journeys. I hope that with my stories, they can break their boundaries and avoid the same traps they might find along the way. I hope that they not only become great artistes but also become better humans, stay positive in the industry, and are able to create and find themselves along the way.

Did this experience help you reflect — in any way — on your artiste career so far? In retrospect, would you redo anything?
It reminded me of my childhood. It was a time when I had so much passion for music, and seeing all the high-intensity passion in them brought me back to that time. It freshened me up. I wouldn’t change anything because I love the way things are now. Changing the past would mean changing the present, and I love where I’m at and what I’m doing right now.

What do you feel is the most important trait that any aspiring performing artiste should have?
Every artiste is different, but all artistes should try to be themselves. For me, I want to be true to myself, to be able to discover my own direction, create my own work, and be brave enough to show that to the world.

What about in a song? Everyone likes to ask questions about your views on music because your personal touch does not escape any part of your music’s creative process — from melody-making, lyric-writing to the final performance. What is your definition of a good song?
“Good” in itself is a subjective word, and a good song, to me, can mean something very different to another. You can love jazz; you can love metal. So long as you’re satisfied with what you have released, be able to listen to it back and forth, and even enjoy that track after 10 years — that’s what I define as a good song.

Regardless of shape or form, good music should always capture the essence of a story, one’s feelings, or who the artiste is at their core.

Does any existing song come to mind? Either one you are proud of or one from an artiste you look up to.
The first song that comes to mind is “Endless Rain” by Yoshiki Hayashi. I’m not too sure if he wrote it when his mom or dad passed away. But it’s a song written with lots of emotion, and it very clearly shows his style of music. It’s just very Yoshiki.

I have many songs that I am proud of — actually, every song. But if I had to pick one, it might be “Dum Dum”. I had a lot of bad feelings bottled inside me when I wrote the song, and I really wanted to release that toxicity from inside of me. It sounds as angry as I felt when I wrote it, so listening back and feeling that anger gives me satisfaction. I think I wrote it in an honest and heartfelt manner that was true to my emotions at the time.

In your previous interview with us, you talked about the different charms (and challenges) that come with writing lyrics in Thai and English. Your debut album has both English originals and English translations of your Thai songs — which song’s story or specific lyrics are you most proud of putting together, and why?
Like I said, I love and am proud of all my songs. But if I had to pick one, it would be “Black Tie”. In that track, I had to relive many memories and feelings. Honestly, even at 29, I still feel like a kid. Until today, I still address everyone around me with “P” — how people in Thailand show respect to those older than them — because l feel I have a lot more growing up to do, and that spirit to learn is still alive inside me.

As a kid, I was always told to do this and that, learn this and study that. In retrospect, those who ended up following these instructions all somehow turned out the same. I really don’t like that. I don’t want all these rules and boundaries to limit who we can be, and who I could be. That’s why I chose to sing about this in “Black Tie”, using the concept of the suit to talk about breaking those boundaries, tying in with the freedom and individuality that the Valentino collection at the time championed and empowered its wearers to embody.

Are there any stories you are looking to tell with your next music release?
It’s a secret. You’ll know when you know.

More on your love for story-telling — which seems to be a common thread that links all the creative works you have released so far together — what do you think makes a good story?
All stories are worth telling, even those without a happy ending. What makes a good story is how you tell it. Capturing the essence or feeling of the story and delivering that to the listeners is more important. You know it’s good if the listeners can experience the story with you,

You mentioned in an interview that if you were not an artiste today, you would be a writer. These days, it is hard to have an original voice, yet yours (both literal and figurative) is quite luminous in its own way. How do you maintain that voice despite all the noise?
I don’t think an original voice is something that can be created. An original voice can only come from trusting your instincts, being honest in your work, and staying truthful to your feelings. Only then can you create work that represents you. You should never lie to yourself.

And more importantly, never lose that kid inside of you. That’s who is creating the all the art, instead of you.

More importantly, how do you rest? Are there any go-to activities (or non-activities) you like to do to return to yourself and rest your voice?
I actually have a lot of time to rest. Then again, I also don’t feel like my work encompasses “working”. It’s also my vacation. Sure, even when I’m actually on vacation, I have to think about work. But I don’t mind it; I love what I do.

If we’re talking about physical rest, I prioritise resting my voice. I used to sing during my free time, but I try not to use it that often now to be ready when I actually have to sing. I think it’s important to know how to control and use my voice in the right way.

For those who are only discovering your music today, can you compile a three-track introduction to Jeff Satur’s playlist and explain why?
“Dum Dum”, “Fade”, and “Loop”. “Dum Dum” shows my darker side because it’s a release of some pent-up frustration and anger. “Fade” is more romantic — it shows you how I experience love and what I am like in a relationship, and I try to tell that story in a more emotional and evocative manner. Then we have “Loop”, a more introspective exploration of who I am. Listening to these three songs will give you a good idea of the breadth of my personality and style as an artiste.

In recent years, you have been bolder with your style. How would you describe your current relationship with fashion? Has it changed over the years?
I think fashion is about doing what you love, wearing what you love, and enjoying what you see in the mirror. Every morning before I go out, I feel like I should love what I see in the mirror — regardless of what other people think. Your body is a canvas, and whatever colour or pattern you choose to put on yourself that day is a form of self-expression you should enjoy.

Over the years, I’ve definitely become more confident about trying on things out of my comfort zone. I used to be scared of wearing certain things because of what others might think, but I’m no longer as shy. I’m just breaking one boundary at a time.

What values of Maison Valentino does Jeff Satur — the artiste — embody?
I think Valentino and I have many things in common. Fundamentally, we both embrace the act of constant reinvention and enjoy the challenge of finding new ground, and there’s no better expression of this chemistry and kindred spirit than the soundtrack I created with and for Valentino. The brand is quite sentimental and romantic, and my body of work doesn’t stray far from these sensibilities — especially if you listen to the three tracks I mentioned earlier. A valiant kind of courage persists throughout, and I feel like that syncs up nicely with what Valentino stands for as a brand.

What is next on your cards? Will we get to sees Jeff Satur, the actor again soon?
Without a doubt. In fact, more and more because actor Jeff Satur is an important part of me, and there are a lot of upcoming projects that I’m passionate about and very excited to share with the world.

Last but not least, you have said before that any interaction or activities you do for SATURDAYs feels like an everlasting dream. Is there anything you want to say to your fans right now?
Always be happy. Yes, sometimes it’s hard, and sometimes the world isn’t as beautiful as the ones we read about in our favourite fairytales. Focus on the good and avoid the bad. Surround yourself with good people. Never give up on yourself. You’re beautiful, you’re great, and you’re you — and no one else can do what you do. Even I can’t do what you do. Everybody has something unique they can do. Appreciate and love what you do. Follow your dreams, and I’ll follow mine. Someday, we’ll sing together again.

[theartkid15]

ACTOR AU PART 3‼️‼️✨🎭🎤📸

( i am sorry sorry this took a bit longer than expected guys, I just needed a bit of time to myself after all the testing. But I’m still alive and still producing head cannons for Ramshackle bc it makes me happy)

Anyway……..Back stage shenanigans!!!

Tre: trust me, the way he acts on camera is not how he is in real life. He is not a snobby brat he is actually so sweet to the rest of the cast and apologizes once the cameras cut for anything he said while filming even though it was scripted.

He is still a nepo baby and can NEVER beat the allegations of being a nepo baby since his parents are both famous actors in Hollywood

He literally begged the directors to give him at least ONE song for the Ramshackle production, thus the filming of sincerely me.

While Skipp helped with the instrumental and some background vocals for the opening, Dirt, and Piece of Trash, Tre helped with the main vocals of the opening the other songs.

Tre and Stone are actually rivals off set, they knew each other when they were younger before going their own way and then reunited because of the Ramshackle production. So while Stone didn’t initially pursue acting he is still naturally talented with acting. Tre was born into the acting environment, so they try outdoing each other. So their rivalry is natural.

He hasn’t been apart of any scandals in his career, but will not hesitate to jump someone if they diss any musical ESPECIALLY if he has a role in the musical you are dissing.

In an interview he got asked what his guilty pleasure was, and he said it’s was orange soda since he is in musical theatre and uses his voice a lot and soda is bad for your vocal cords. But he still indulges in orange soda every so often. So now it’s a running gag among fans, interviewers, photographers, and the cast to give him an orange soda at any given moment.

Avrille: going from constantly play more heroic roles or being a scream queen and being the final girl that makes it out in the end, it was a learning curve for her from being a hero to a villain.

She genuinely dreads the day where she needs to film herself in the flashback scenes in the lab with Stone where she is basically torturing him.

She loves her little brother Stone ( in this au they are actually brother and sister off set) and she will fell horrible after filming scenes where she is mean and rude to him. As an apology she buys him a treat like coffee and a fancy pen even though Stone tells her it’s all good and that she was just following the script.

She is naturally blonde and also refuses to wear a wig because it is a sensory nightmare. So she dyes it that baby pink and calls up anyone who is free, mainly Maroon ( yes I am pushing my bittersweet agenda and you can fight me)

She is very insistent and the cast hanging out together and going on trips or retreats, or just going on a night out. Just because she genuinely wants to get to know the crew but it enforces a more natural chemistry and connection when on set. This resulted in her being protective of the cast members around Stone’s age, so everyone besides Maroon, Dante.

She was genuinely so excited about the Victorian era/ early 1900 inspired timeline for Ramshackle. She spent hours researching the clothing, inventions, major events, beauty standards, and phrases to get more familiar with the inspiration.

Her accent is really thick and heavy to the point she needs to dial it back so people can understand her properly, but while shooting and playing Avrille, she was given the okay for her accent to be as heavy as she wants.

Maroon: she fell in love with the character Maroon and wanted to embody her a bit. To the extent that she booked some time at a shooting range to practice her skills with firearms so she could perform more accurately on set.

She was the few that didn’t need a wig or dye their hair for their character. But she did cut it shorter to better fit the role, which she didn’t mind since she was due for a haircut anyway since her hair grew out into a mullet.

She can actually do her own stunts too, she took a lot of self defense classes and karate as a kid and the knowledge carried over to present day. So when she needs to do action shots, it’s light work for her.

She thought that her tattoos and piercings would make the character/ role she plays unprofessional and look out of place. But she was reassured that her tattoos and piercings actually fit the role and make her look so bada$$.

Genuinely so happy and excited to work with her little cousin Skipp since they haven’t spoken much before getting casted to the Ramshackle production, it’s their way of getting to bond and make up for some lost time. Literally a wholesome dynamic duo on set.

Her first thoughts of Tre was thinking he was gonna be a little brat and was dreading working with him since most of their scenes are together. But soon realized she greatly misjudged the dude who he turned out to be a little less confident than she expected but still a sweetie pie. She felt so bad about it for months and didn’t confess how she had misjudged him until a year later.

She is constantly asking Avrille for more tips on her acting since she is the most experienced actress on set, and they meet up after filming to talk about the production. It’s completely professional at first until they find themselves talking about the latest drama in the celebrity world. ( yes, I am still pushing my bittersweet agenda, bite me)

That’s all I got for now, next up will be Cen, Rigel, and Ditch, maybe I’ll squeeze in Dante and Ivan if I have extra time. But anyway these are so fun to make and I PROMISE I am working on the mister AU head cannons in the background. Love ya!!

- 🪻💫✨⭐️☀️🌙💜🔮🌞🪐

[hinamie]

some notes/hcs from th jjk band!au ! read at your leisure i have written a novel 🫠

tl;dr guitarist brothers suku/ita bassist megu drummer nobara band name BL4CK FL4SH

i imagine them slightly aged up in this au, i'm thinking yuuji n them are around 17 and sukuna is 2 years older ( i would make the age gap wider to account for canon but i feel like any older and sukuna wouldn't be caught dead playing in his little brother's band)

it /is/ technically yuuji's band, he /was/ the one who started it even though sukuna would argue that he's the one funding the whole thing and nobara would argue that she's the one organizing and promoting every one of their gigs and megumi would argue that he constantly loses sleep writing mixing and producing their songs,, they all love yuuji tho so they go along and let him put his name on it

don't think too hard about how sukuna, 19, makes enough to fund a band . wholesome legal stuff, promise

yuuji's current guitar is a hand me down from sukuna after he had saved up enough to splurge on the double necked monstrosity he has currently. because they were strapped for cash growing up, for years yuuji played on a beginner kid's size electric guitar that sukuna (serial music snob) couldn't stand the sound of and may or may not have violently smashed before tsundere-ly shoving his old guitar into yuuji's hands.

that being the case, sukuna thinks what yuuji has done to his old guitar is atrocious bc he's the type to take /meticulous/ care of his instruments. we're talking regular tune ups, wax, mods, the works. man carries spare strings and a microfibre cloth on him at all times just in case and Will Not let yuuji near his gear because yuuji is a hurricane of a boy and has dropped and broken his equipment more times than any of them care to count . they do however make a game out of placing bets as to what he'll knock over during practice

yuuji usually does lead vocals because his energy is quite frankly contagious and he's a natural at working a crowd . Sukuna sings backup vocal but there are a handful of songs where they switch and he sings lead and those songs are . hm . a very different vibe ! and some of their most successful releases much to his brother's chagrin

megumi had always noticed and admired sukuna's voice and thought it would be a waste not to give him a lead vocal part so he was originally the one to offer to collaborate with sukuna to write a few songs more tailored to his style ,, yuuji felt a bit snuffed but couldn't deny that megumi had a point so he agreed to take a back seat

once sukuna had gotten a taste for the spotlight and saw the stream count on the songs he led he and yuuji started bickering a lot more over who gets to take over lead vocals. they've tried duets before and it's simply out of the question so instead they fight over megumi to get him to write for one of them. it still usually ends up being yuuji which irks sukuna but he's placated by how explosive the reaction is when he /does/ get a song to himself

megumi can also sing !!! he's really good !!!!except he's shy and stubborn and won't do it in front of others. he once drunkenly admitted that he has a secret folder on his laptop full of audio files of himself singing unreleased songs and they (mostly nobara) haven't let him forget it and pester him relentlessly to let them listen. he will not because his songs are emo and sappy and pining and definitely not about yuuji

this is MY brainrot so this au is not immune to pining megumi x oblivious yuuji. one time yuuji kept inviting a girl he liked to their rehearsals and megumi's mood would get so sour that most days they had to call practice early and the ensuing show was one of their worst performances ever because their practices had been so unproductive. nobara is 95% sure she knows what was up but in the interest of keeping megumi in the band she kept her mouth shut ((she did admonish yuuji afterwards that no more outside spectators were allowed at practice no matter how hot he thinks they are))

in the days leading up to their first ever show yuuji was an anxious wreck to the point where the rest of them were legitimately concerned for his health but completely at a loss as to what they could do to help. megumi's love language is Not words of affirmation so instead he got yuuji a new set of audio cables accompanied by a note that read "good luck -M" to help ease his nerves. yuuji keeps the note taped to his guitar

megumi and nobara can both play piano and alternate covering the keyboard parts if a song requires it. (((megumi is a lot better at it which annoys nobara but she attributes the skill difference to his "freakishly long fingers and perfect pitch, which is basically cheating anyway")))

nobara gives the boys hell for making her play manager most of the time but she honestly thrives when a gig is coming up and she gets to order them around and use sukuna's credit card to book photoshoots and print promotional materials and buy them new outfits to match the concept

everyone but sukuna dreads the aforementioned shopping days. yuuji is a chronic protag who just wants to sing with his friends and megumi thinks coordinated outfits are frivolous and a waste of time . sukuna however /loves/ the visual aspect of performing because he's a dramatic bitch and wants to make sure they leave an impression. he and nobara are a force to be reckoned with and megumi and yuuji fight for their lives when they bust out the eyeliner

gojo is in this au because i guess he has to be smh i am never free -_- he was megumi's old music teacher and he runs the studio they rent out ("friends and family discount for my favourite student! aren't i kind, megumi-chan?") and they're pretty sure he's famous overseas or a retired star or something because whenever he comes to their shows there's a flood of paparazzi and tabloids that he miraculously manages to avoid??? they have no idea how he does it but they're happy to leech off the publicity

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

Today - March 5th, 1976

Eddie Howell "The Man From Manhattan" 7" single released

Freddie Mercury: producer/piano/bvs

Brian May: guitar

Excerpts from an interview

Jacky Gunn-Smith - Official International Queen Fan Club

Eddie Howell’s ‘Man From Manhattan‘ is one of the best known and best loved of all Queen’s collaborations.

Recorded in mid January 1976 at Sarm East Studios in London, the song was produced by Freddie Mercury, who also played piano and sang backing vocals on the track and featured Brian May on guitar. The record is so reminiscent of “A Night At The Opera” in both instrumentation and mood, that many fans regard it as virtually an “Opera” out-take. When it was launched as a single on Warner Bros records in 1976, it became a turntable hit in the UK and looked set to chart until music industry bureaucracy halted it in it’s tracks.

Birmingham born Eddie Howell began his professional career in the late 60’s, when Chrysalis music picked up on his songwriting demos and introduced him to an independent record producer, who in turn licensed his first single “Easy Street”, as a one-off deal to Parlophone in 1969.

Working as a songwriter throughout the early 70’s, Eddie’s next venture into recording came in 1975 when he signed to Warner Bros records as an artist. thursdaysHe released two singles, “Long Story” and “Can’t get over you”, and his debut LP “The Eddie Howell Gramophone Record”, which featured members of “Brand X” and guitarist Gary Moore.

The album was launched at a promotional gig at Thursday’s club in Kensington. Eddie’s band included Phil Collins on congas, Jack Lancaster on saxophone and Robin Lumley on keyboards. Explains Eddie, ”In the audience that night was Freddie Mercury who had been brought along to the gig by my manager David Minns. It was there that he first heard “Man From Manhattan”, which was a newly written song included in the set. After the gig we met and he was very complimentary about the song and offered to produce it. I remember we all went down to ‘The Elephant on the River’ to celebrate”.

Enthused by the prospect of his first foray into production, Freddie wasted little time in getting started. ”I gave him a two track guitar/vocal demo of the song” recalls Eddie, ”and a couple of days later he called and said let’s get going. Studio time was booked at Sarm East Studios and true to form, Freddie quickly took control of the sessions; ”He did lots of pre-production work on the song’s structure and the harmony arrangements”, reveals Ed. ” He had a mini cassette recorder loaded with ideas for the track, backing vocals and answering phrases”.

”We took a week to record the song”, remembers Eddie, ”which was a long time in those days, but because of Freddie’s involvement, Warners gave us a blank cheque. The sessions were quite intense, there was never a lull. Brian came in to play hismikestone2 guitar parts and the musical rapport between him and Freddie was plain to see, they were on the same page. One day, a hand-held spinning bell-cymbal in the key of ‘D’ was required by Freddie for one ping at the end of the track and the studio didn’t have one, so a runner was dispatched to scour the streets of London in search of one. The session was adjourned for half a day while we waited down at the Shazam Indian restaurant in Brick Lane for the bell to arrive. It eventually arrived and took about a minute to record, it must have been the most expensive ping ever recorded”.

On the final day of recording, a trio of Warner Bros top brass flew in from California and made a beeline for Sarm East studios to meet Freddie. Recalls Eddie, ”They probably thought the red carpet would be rolled out as they were paying for the recording sessions, but instead they were kept waiting in reception for about four hours. When they were eventually granted an audience, the charm offensive was full onlongstory3 and it was all smiles and bonhomie. At the end of the session, after the final playback, Freddie turned to me and said, ‘If this isn’t a hit, sue Warner Bros ‘ ”.

The finished article obviously had a heavy Queen influence with the presence of Freddie and Brian on the track, but ”Man from Manhattan” was far from a tribute to Queen. ”I wrote the song after my first trip to Manhattan in late 74”, reveals Eddie, ”I was reading ‘The Godfather Papers’ by Mario Puzo and the song was about those mafia characters who lead a double life. Musically, I had ‘Dead End Street’, by the Kinks in mind, complete with trombones and a walking double-bass”.

Prior to the ban, ”Manhattan” made top 50 in the UK, top 20 in Australia, Belgium and South Africa and top 5 in Holland, but sadly, as a consequence of the ban, it was never released in America or many of the world’s other major territories.

When it was issued as a single in 1976, Warner’s publicity department played up the Queen connection as much as they could, and “Manhattan” rapidly became a turntable hit in the UK. The record received heavy rotation on the airwaves – particularly in Europe where it became a big hit. Then, just when it looked set to climb the charts in the UK, the Musicians Union mysteriously discovered that Jerome Rimson, the American bassist hired by Freddie for the sessions, had been working in Britain without a permit. This obliged them to place a ban on any and all further UK media exposure due to his ‘Illegally’ recorded playing. A decision which effectively killed off the record.

Having recently regained the rights to his back catalogue recorded during his time with the label, Eddie is now releasing the tracks digitally. ”Man from Manhattan” is first up, more to follow…

(source: https://manfrommanhattan.wordpress.com/)

📸 Pic: Freddie Mercury and Eddie Howell in control room

[96crewlove]

"step by step" final review! ⭐️

(lol doing a whole review for a song seems silly but hey txt owns my soul so 🤷🏾‍♀️ what the fuck can you do 😂)

taebin falsetto to start hmmm it's already giving grammy, soty

"do what you wanna do~, i want to do silly things and doze off" OKAY TINNITUS SISTER SONG ?! (also lol so real)

THE BEATTTT 😩🤌🏾 that funk, feel good, upbeat instrum is ✨ chef's kiss ✨ like you can hear each instrument so so well - i've heard a lot of good things about eve, the lead producer and songwriter, and so far i'm not disappointed

yeonjun's "reaaadyy~" oh my god i have to die

he sounds so good

kai's "omoideee~" no words there.

their voices sound so crisp omg.

also i #Noticed they've been playing a lot with vocal ranges so far, like it makes the overall sound of the track sound kinda goofy but the randomness kinda works anyway. she's a very quirky little track so far.

okay the taebingyu joint slay rap cypher thingy: THE TEMPO AND DELIVERY FOR THAT ATE DOWNNN like i love the way it sounds like they're jumping in on the beat right after one another and kinda like finishing eo's sentences almost...like it felt complete and the transition between their lines/voices was pretty smooth

^^ the way taehyun slid in with the dynamite line in particular??? .... no notes. 10/10 >>>>

DO WHAT YOU WANNA DOOOOOO🕺🪩✨

OH THAT CHORUS BABY YASSSSSSS SO ADDICTIVE SO CATCHY

okay there's this little transition glitchy/spacey sound that precipitates yeonjun's verse kinda like a warning of sorts before the beat completely changes for the rap and tbh that was a smart choice bc it made the rap seem less out of place or choppy. like so far most of the decisions for this track have been smart.

"bad boy" yeonjun mades a reappearance 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

"look me in the eye, follow me" WHATEVER YOU SAY BABY 😍😍😍

midway through kai's verse he sounds like a sports commentator or a narrator in a documentary and it is kinda FRYING ME lol

YEONJUN'S VOCALS ON THE REFRAIN YESSSSSS!!!!!!!

the "thin" (taehyun has described yeonjun's voice like this recently i think) and nasally tone of yeonjun's voice on the refrain sounds so so good like i cannot describe like his delivery and just how he sounds singing it is so perfect

OVERALL okay two 3-minute txt songs back to back...i would like to say keep this up for the upcoming comeback bighit but like You Honestly Never Know With Those Motherfuckers. let's celebrate this small win anyway 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🎊🎉

my favorite favorite favorite parts of this song are too many to count but to sum it up it was (in no particular order):

Literally Everything Taehyun Did

taebingyu first verse starting from beomgyu's "starry night" line :D!!

YEONJUN LAST REFRAIN.

the reflections of yeonjun's "ready~" and kai's "omoide~"

the ENTIRE first chorus & refrain that yeonjun-beomgyu-taehyun-kai vocal meal ate downnn listening to it felt like flying fr

yeonjun and kai rapping in low register

and last but definitely not least,

DO WHAT YOU WANNA DOOOOOO🕺🪩✨

everybody and their mothers on twitter were commending yeonjun and kai's rapping but i actually enjoyed the taebingyu back to back one-liners during the first verse more🧍‍♀️ the line delivery, the head-bopping "dun-dun-dadada" tempo, and the almost seamless transition between the three vocals was more addictive and had more ear-scratching appeal TO ME.

lyrically it's tinnitus's PG-rated sister like simply put it's about not wanting to worry too much and take everyday with a step by step (roll credits) mindset or approach. the message and delivery of the song together made it a very happy-go-lucky and upbeat song with a meaningful introspective message - txt has done it once again with serving amazing quality of music.

HOWEVER—

it is sad to see that beomgyu once again had the least lines, and the line distribution in beomgyu's particular case has been an issue for years now. people's discontent towards the matter is absolutely valid and once again ensuring fair line distribution is a problem easily solved by EXTENDING THE LENGTH OF THE SONG and giving the members with the least lines MORE instead of switching lines/parts between the group to try and find that balance (that would be messy and extra work anyway).

and aside from his falsetto at the beginning, i don't feel like soobin shined much in this song either. his and beomgyu's parts, whether because they were shorter or for other reasons, didn't leave as much of an impact on me as taejunkai's, who had more time and opportunity to show off and experiment with their vocals/raps.

beomgyu and soobin should get more of that opportunity as well, that's all.

OKAY DONE WITH BEING SERIOUS OBJECTIVE AND POLITICALLY CORRECT NOW WE BACK TO BEING SILLAAAAYYY 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🌝🌝🌈🌈—

their voices in this are so so crisp. i am in love with the beat. the musical production of this was pretty solid. basically everything i've said already.

so yeah step by step is like a high 7 and or a solid 8. idk if i'll be making it my entire personality like i previously predicted because i think my expectations for this were higher (???) but it is still a very good song and NOT. AT. ALL. skippable like are you crazy.

[leejenowrld]

what type of music does each character like

- anon rosie

y/n she listens to music like it’s language. her playlists are chaotic but intentional: 90s r&b, shoegaze, acoustic heartbreak, old jazz, new soul, and one angry hyperpop track she never skips. she likes lyrics that cut her open, phoebe bridgers, fka twigs, frank ocean, jeff buckley. the kind of music that feels like grief with eyeliner on. she annotates songs. and sometimes, she lies on her back with her headphones in, listening to the same track for hours just to feel something flicker inside her chest again. she’d never admit it, but she once cried to a mashup of a james blake song and a basketball game montage. she calls it research.

jeno he listens to rap, but not the kind you’d expect. it’s methodical, focused. kendrick. j. cole. early kanye. no distractions, just bars and meaning. but his secret indulgence is film scores. hans zimmer. ludwig göransson. he likes music that builds big, layered, cinematic, like it’s soundtracking his legacy. when he’s alone, when it’s late and the lights are off, he plays sade. something about her voice makes him remember who he is underneath the pressure. y/n once caught him humming along to smooth operator and never let it go.

mark a music boy, obviously. he plays guitar, has too many vinyls, and his spotify wrapped always looks like a festival lineup. indie rock, folk, jazz, funk, lo-fi. he loves live recordings, the kind where you can hear the audience cheer. he thinks lyrics are important but it's texture that gets him, he once described a track as “tasting like sunburn on brick,” and y/n nearly walked out. he plays background playlists when people are over, but when he’s alone, it’s nothing but sad-boy singer-songwriters who whisper over acoustics. leon bridges, nick drake, keaton henson.

areum pop girl through and through but curated pop. she listens to albums like art exhibits: marina, robyn, rina sawayama, raye. she’s into layered production, experimental bridges, big glittery soundscapes. she loves a disco bassline and a feminist lyric. but her real weakness is melancholic dance, the kind of songs you cry to in the club. she’s definitely screamed mirrorball by taylor swift while high in a glitter eyeshadow smudge. she has a playlist titled "euphoria but i'm dissociating."

karina hyper-specific playlists for every mood. her music taste is very “i saw the world end and took notes.” lana, mitski, halsey, ethel cain. she likes dream pop and trip-hop, dark ambient remixes and soundcloud edits. music that floats just above drowning. she also loves string-heavy compositions, orchestral covers of pop songs, string quartets arranged for heartbreak. she once sent y/n a 15-minute cello piece and said “this sounds like me.” and it did.

jaemin he listens to music like he’s trying not to feel anything. minimal, clean, chillwave. lo-fi beats. instrumental hip-hop. jazz loops. but then out of nowhere, he’ll put on a heartbreak banger and vibe like it’s a casual tuesday. the guy has range, he’ll go from daniel caesar to arctic monkeys to olafur arnalds without blinking. but his biggest guilty pleasure? broadway soundtracks. he knows all the words to hamilton and he’s a little embarrassed about it.

donghyuck eclectic and dramatic. his playlists are chaos but they slap. queen, prince, lil nas x, tyler the creator, doja cat, hozier, tame impala. he loves genre-bending and performance, music that’s theatrical, sexy, and layered. he’s the type to sing all the backing vocals, harmonies, and ad libs like his life depends on it. every playlist he makes has at least one old 80s track that he claims he discovered first. and yes, he’s cried to the night we met by lord huron while drunk.

yangyang coolest taste. deep cuts, rare finds, international bangers. he loves house, techno, afrobeat, and experimental r&b. he goes to underground shows and has favorite producers no one’s ever heard of. he listens to music with layered percussion, smart samples, and a groove you can’t ignore. he has a playlist called “sounds like slow sex on marble floors” and it’s genuinely amazing. he also listens to anime scores and gets deeply emotional about them.

chenle his playlists are full of oldies and classics. queen, elton john, stevie wonder. he loves 70s rock, 90s alt, and early 2000s korean ballads. he sings along loud. music is joy for him. but he also has a playlist full of classical music he listens to when he’s studying or alone — mostly chopin, debussy, and ryuichi sakamoto. he once caught himself crying in the back of an uber because clair de lune started playing and the driver asked if he was okay.

shotaro dance music, always. he loves k-pop, j-pop, funk, early 2000s hip hop, anything you can move to. his playlists are pure serotonin. bruno mars, twice, new jeans, usher, nct dream — anything with rhythm, anything with joy. he also loves old-school love songs — mariah, whitney, brian mcknight. he sings so loudly in the shower. and when he’s in love? every song is about you. he’ll text you a spotify link and say “this is us.”

[datclassicrockfan42]

Who are the monkees?

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

DEAR LORD YES

(Sorry I don’t get this question very often)

Anyways, allow me to introduce you to The Monkees

They were a 60s rock band with a TV show(like the Aquabats). Originally created to make money and sell records but after a rebellion from their music producer, they truly(at least in my eyes) became a true band. Unfortunately a lot of factors caused the bands decline in popularity and their dissolvement. They did get back together in the 80’s and 90’s with a little surge in popularity, and thoughout the 2000s and 2010s they continued to tour. Currently the last remaining Monkee(Micky) is doing shows to honor the band these years.(this is definitely a cliff notes version bc(well I kinda lost my Monkee Autism for MCR autism and there’s no way I can fit the entire story into a single post, we can keep talking about this through dm through)

Now for the members. This group consists of four members. Davy, Micky, Peter, and Mike

Here’s a photo

The first member is Davy Jones.(Bottom Right)Short, British, and babyfaced. He’s basically the “Paul McCartney” of the group, the one that all the girls love(at least when the show first aired). In the band lineup, he does vocals, tambourine, and maracas(usually has like fifty maracas) In the show, he’s the group’s hopeless romantic. Always going after a girl and falling in love. However that whole “Davy falls in love and now it’s our problem” is much more of a season one plot line than season two(not to say doesn’t happen there too.)

Next is Micky Dolenz.(Top left). The bands…(for really lack of a better term here) wild card. He’s very energetic and comedic. In the band he’s the drummer but also does vocals most of the time. In the show, he’s wild, chaotic, and the jokester of the group.

Next is Peter Tork( bottom right). Sweet, sensitive Peter. Look at him isn’t he cute? In the band, he’s the bassist, but also plays a multitude of instruments. In the show he was the dummy. The butt of the joke all the time. His shy, awkward(auto fill suggested knees here, and I’m questioning everything), personality and lack of social skills was a constant joke during the series. Actual Peter is pretty intellectual.

Last but certainly not least(especially on this blog) is Mike(top right, in the green wool hat) the second Michael in my life(Mikey was the first). Ah Michael Nesmith. Where to start? Stoic, quiet,aloof, but a total goof sometimes.(starting to sound familiar here)He has what this website calls…autism swag. Usually wearing a little hat(okay now that I type this here I’m starting to realize the similarities between the two Michaels in my life), this Texan is the “serious one.” The dad of group basically. In the band he plays guitar and actually wrote a few songs(oh we’re gonna talk about this). In the show, he was basically the voice of reason. Not really focused on that much,but he had his moments. I should mention that he got rid of the hat around season two, but you can still identify him by his massive sideburns.

Look at these

Look at the size of them

NOW THE SHOW AND MUSIC.

The show: The show aired from 1966-1968 with two seasons. They also had two tv specials and one hella trippy movie. Currently a lot of the episodes have been taken off YT(damn copyright) but we have archive.com and many drive folders containing these episodes. Episode plots can go from “guys Davy’s in love again and now it’s our problem” to “Crap we can’t pay the rent” to “crap we gotta save America from spies”. And season two only gets weirder. Each episode usually contains two “romps” which are basically music videos that showcase songs(like I said made to sell records)

(I do gotta warn you tho. This show was made in the 60s…so some of the content is not actually…politically correct according to today’s standards. So yea just be prepared for that)

Episodes I’d personally recommend for beginners are

Season 1 Ep 8: don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. A simple episode. Displays each of the characters personally traits pretty well. Has good songs.

Season 1 ep 23: Captain Crocodilez a pretty funny episode. Got a lot of that typical Monkee rapid fire random humor(which is kinda Aquabatsish). Some good romps and I find this ep quite enjoyable

Season one ep 12: I’ve got a little song here. This is a Mike focused episode and is a little bit sadder than the majority of eps, but is overall good. It’s got the bands superhero personas, the Monkeemen. Good songs too.

Season two episode 16: fairytale. An iconic episode.(so sometimes the guys would dress up in drag to make their schemes work and there’s lots of that in this episode) it’s a bit more off the walls(which is normal in season two) but still overall a good episode.

Here’s the link for the archive(kinda bad quality but pretty accessible)

Edit: so i checked and something is wrong with the link….so yea

Ummm if yall want I can dm you a link to one of the drives

NOW FOR MUSIC

(Buckle up)

So the group(in the tv show years) released(holy shit) 9 albums.

The Monkees(a classic album of songs from the show) notable tracks include Last train to Clarksville, Saturday’s child, Sweet Young Thing, and Papa Gene’s blues

More of the Monkees(another classic, once again full of songs from the show) notable tracks include Mary,Mary , I’m not your stepping stone, the kind of girl I could love, and(you probably know this one) I’m a believer(yep the song from shrek was a Monkees song)

However, these albums were made with little to no creative control. Opting for studio musicans and writers than the actual guys themselves(who were all pretty good musicans) but after some rebellion, the producer getting fired, and a hole in a hotel wall(before the producer got fired,(guess who did this one lol). The band was able to play their own instruments.

Which brings us to an era which I personally consider the bands finest:

Headquarters: a masterpiece with the group playing almost of all their own instruments. Notable tracks include: Sunny Girlfriend, for Pete’s sake, and Randy Scouse Git

Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn and Jones(thats actually all the members zodiac signs, expect Davy’s bc him and Mike are both Capricorns and they actually share a birthday(Dec 30): this is their psychedelic album(hey it’s 1967 everyone’s doing it) Notable tracks here include: Pleasant Valley Sunday, Love is only sleeping, Star Collector and the door into summer.

The Birds, The Bees, and The Monkees: another classic👌. Notable tracks here include: Daydream Believer, Tapioca Tundra, and Dream World.

We then have the HEAD(that trippy movie i was talking about(that’s a little advanced tho, stick to the show for now) soundtrack: notable tracks here include: Porpoise Song, As we go along, circle sky, and daddy’s song.

Now for some mythbustijg bc oh boy

They didn’t play their own instruments: actually a lot of the guys were originally musicians before the show(Mike and Peter were folk singers, and Davy worked in broadway(not an instrument but still cool to know). We kinda already debunked this one though so let’s move on to the next:

They didn’t write their own songs: kinda true. The studio did bring in some studio writers to write songs, but the guys actually wrote some songs themselves(mainly Mike, but the others did too)

Ok well I’ve been typing for quite a while now and my hands tried soo ima leave this here. DM me if you want any more info(I have a master degree in the history of Micheal Nesmith with a minor in the band and show history)