#AND CONTEXTUALIZE THEIR REACTIONS. AND ALSO WHERE I ACTUALLY WRITING

[toytulini]

the 3 miles of disclaimers i feel compelled to write to ramble about my oc

[waitmyturtles]

I am writing this because I want 23.5 to be MAGNIFICENT, and it's a Fon Kanittha show, so there's a HELL OF A SLOW BURN that I am and was expecting (!), but I just need to process the reveal of the catfishing for a second, ha:

1) Sun contextualizing that she was catfished by Ongsa with the flashbacks makes sense; she is remembering how gentle and attentive and flirtatious Ongsa was and can be, and I was RELIEVED to see Sun come to the conclusion that Ongsa is a friend and potential lover that's worth investing in and fighting for,

2) And it's a GMMTV GL, so yes, we are expecting Sun to have some kind of a queer revelation in her processing of everything that's happening, so maybe I'm projecting here (?), but

3) I think it could have been okay to see Sun more pissed off, as well?

The show's main narrator and nucleus is Ongsa -- so we see Ongsa's pain, and we KNOW what Ongsa's pain is, because her assumption is that Sun likes guys, because Sun was reacting so positively to Earth.

Verbally, we got all the explanation that we needed to understand everyone's side of this: we know the depth of Ongsa's pain, very much, and I believed every minute of it, especially for a young woman of her age who is living in a modern era of acceptance while still dealing with the social majority of heterosexuality around her. The pain of her assumption that Sun only likes guys makes 100% sense.

Maybe what I could have used (in my own owned humble opinion) is Sun acknowledging a sense of reaction to the actual catfishing during that park scene, because I think catfishing's a big deal on its own, no? Or maybe not, and the young folks are more used to it, and I'm an old crab. I dunno! I think I likely would have been like, "girl, YES, let's try this friendship thing again, and yes, I'm going to start responding to your attraction, because why not, fuck yes let's go, but also, GIRL, maybe catfishing's not the best way to process an attraction, let's not do THAT again"?? Maybe my mom side is coming out, WHO KNOWS.

Is it a thing of where I think Ongsa was let off a little too easy? Actually, maybe, yes, ha. Because I think again -- the depth of her pain was explained excellently and authentically, and at the same time, I myself am a big accountability person, and I think I would have liked to see Ongsa herself say something like, "THAT part, the catfishing part, that was bad news bears, sorry my boo-boo."

Maybe this simply doesn't matter in GMMTV's first GL, and we just needed to MOVE ON beyond Ongsa's cycle of disaster, but a couple of words to close out how dumb the catfishing was, as a singular action, would have helped me to feel like that bit was fully closed.

[seventeenlovesthree]

What the 2nd audio drama of Digimon Adventure 02 The Beginning tells us (potentially) in text and subtext

I've been anticipating the 2nd drama "An SOS to Our Brothers! Takeru and Hikari’s Secret Mission?!" for various reasons and in the end - it was not exactly what I had expected, but I can't say it hasn't caught me off guard. Also in various ways.

So take my little self-indulgent analysis with a (big) grain of salt.

Spoilers under the cut:

First things first: These are not the breadcrumbs I was hoping for, but they are breadcrumbs nevertheless! I will try to analyze the drama from the perspective of what it tells us about Takeru, Hikari, Ken - and the perception of the older children from their point of view AND from a production standpoint, aka "what the creators probably wanted to include in the movie, but couldn't and now tried to portray it in a more lighthearted way".

What the drama tells us about Takeru:

In context of the drama: Let's get the most important aspect out of the way: Let's hope the writing stress won't get to him in the way of turning him into a slight alcoholic. No, all jokes aside, just like in Kizuna, we are told that they're actual adults now by showing them drink alcohol and that will never not baffle me. What absolutely DOESN'T baffle me is that he continues to be an absolute troll that vibes with (and gets enabled by) Hikari 100% - and that he feels comfortable enough to troll and be open with Ken is also very nice development for him. Also, let's not overlook the fact that he basically made (diplomat and spy in training) Taichi the main character of his Totally Spies/Evangelion fanfiction here. Sure, Yamato ("he got my brother, the astronaut-in-training, on his side") and Koushirou ("[he] wasted no time in analyzing it and developing a shield that would nullify its attacks") played important roles in there too, but they were basically just the supporting cast Hikari had to remind him of, so he wouldn't just write an entire novel about Taichi's adventures to prevent World War III. Of course there were still lots of plot holes (which were rightfully pointed out by Ken), but you gotta love Takeru still idealizing Taichi like that, while sprinkling in references to Kizuna's events (and including Imura while doing so, whom he may actually have had some talks with after he regained consciousness again, so that was a nice touch).

In context of the production: I actually adore that they are going all out on portraying Takeru as obsessed with writing and I think it feels very organic in terms of foreshadowing his career AND his role as narrator of Digimon Adventure as a whole. I also maintain that this means to take EVERYTHING we hear about the Adventure canon with a grain of salt, because it may or may not be fabricated by his own ideas and perspectives - and that is EXACTLY what this drama did. It definitely worked for me - because by the end of the drama, I actually went "You litte sh*t really got me good, I actually believed you!" It's also funny that they're contextualizing their obsession with Evangelion references through Takeru - at this point, we can just assume that he is a big Evangelion fanboy himself and that is where all these hints and nudges are coming from.

What the drama tells us about Hikari:

In context of the drama: She actually appears less prone to being a habitual drinker than Takeru and only drinks sweet stuff (Pina Colada) because she's got a sweet tooth - as opposed to Tailmon going all out with the Tequila, holy... That aside, her main role is to enable Takeru and help him write fanfiction. I'd like to believe that she would actually have liked to contact the others for real (hence why she was so keen to talk in detail about Yamato's and Koushirou's involvement and Sora's and Jyou's reactions), but the movie itself already showed us that Taichi and Koushirou were not available and the former actively shouted at her to leave him alone - hence why the frustration over that may have led to them coming up with a little story like that in the first place. And I think it's very telling that they feel comfortable enough to tell their little headcanons to Ken in particular. Even if it was a trolling attempt, it shows that they are supposedly close with each other and that is pretty neat.

In context of the production: The main take-aways for me here are: a.) The fact that Hikari and Takeru are basically glued to one another by the hip, troll partners in crime - and Toei and the writers absolutely have no intention of changing that whatsoever while STILL managing to portray them as strictly platonic. b.) You can tell Hikari is a skilled story-teller by the way she was sprinkling in little details about the "characters" to flesh out Takeru's narration, or else it may have been even less convincing. And that was also a nice touch to showcase she would be great at telling stories to children as a future kindergartener too!

What the drama tells us about Taichi:

In context of the drama: There he is, our busy diplomat in training, working for the "Digital World-related department at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs". Despite all the outlandish and exciting things Takeru likes to imagine about his career, as Ken points out, Taichi is still "too young" to make that big of an impact yet, being able to pull strings and having important connections like that - but at least the movie showed us he WAS working behind the scenes together with Koushirou.

In context of the production: I cannot help but wonder whether they actually would have liked to make a little OVA about Taichi going on an undercover mission, backed up by Yamato and Koushirou (and Mimi????), to prevent his own employer from causing World War III/Third Impact. Granted, Takeru's descriptions there were WILD and I'm still not over the "my brother and Taichi-san boarded an F-16 and rushed into the sky over Tokyo" comment, but overall... Cutting away some of the over-the-top narration, Kizuna already showed us that they absolutely WOULD go on spy missions and that this could have been a great OVA theme to show that the older kids are, indeed, still relevant. ESPECIALLY our main character of main characters, Taichi Yagami. Even if we still don't know the state of Agumon, at least we do know he is making progress.

What the drama tells us about Yamato:

In context of the drama: What we can assume is that Yamato actually already is an "astronaut-in-training", since Ken didn't really disagree with that point. There were a few "details" that may or may not be taken with a grain of salt as well, such as (Kizuna's) Imura being portrayed as "a friend of my brother in the FBI" (could be true!) or the idea that Yamato might already be capable to board a "F-16 and rushed into the sky over Tokyo", but... Hey, since Tri, we have at least seen Yamato giving persuasive speeches, but whether or not he would be as involved in everything remains to be questioned. We actually don't know how or if he was involved at all in this.

In context of the production: I still find it funny that, even in Takeru's own world-building, his big brother is "just" the secondary main character - but that is at least mainly in line with how he is overall portrayed.

What the drama tells us about Koushirou:

In context of the drama: There actually isn't a lot of content mentioned in THIS drama that could be used canonically, since everything mentioned here is just Takeru projecting his Evangelion fanboyism onto Koushirou - but drama 1 and the movie itself already contextualized his role rather nicely, as you will see below.

In context of the production: Interestingly enough, through the course of both the movie and the dramas - aside from Taichi -, he was the character who was mentioned and referred to the most. There shouldn't be any question about his role as tertiary (or even occasional secondary) main character, since, even as a background character, he oozes supporting cast energy - no matter whether he is being referred to as "expert in all things Digimon" (movie), mentioned by Tailmon and Patamon to be a potential sugar daddy sponsor as rich "company president" (drama 1) or is being described by Takeru to pull strings in the back by creating AT fields to support Taichi and Yamato. You can tell that they simply CANNOT tell a story without him and it's nice that, through Takeru's (and Hikari's) narration skills, we are being told that he is vital and influential to everything that is happening. He really deserves the appreciation. (I do wonder if Takeru watched the Rebuild Series and thought "Wow, Maya is so annoyed and fed up with everything, I can use that for Koushirou-san in my fanfiction!!!")

What the drama tells us about Mimi:

In context of the drama: Crazy Mimi being crazy spy Mimi was actually what broke the immersion for Ken. And that in itself is amazing. We actually have no idea what she is doing right now, but apparently, "Mimi, who happened to be passing by, to make an anonymous phone call" is not realistic enough for Ken to accept Takeru's fanfiction as canon. To be fair, it was Patamon who included Mimi - since neither Takeru nor Hikari knew how to include her in there...

In context of the production: ... And Toei probably didn't know either. Which is a shame, since I think we can all agree that we all would have loved to see crazy spy Mimi in action. But at least we know she wasn't the only victim here...

What the drama tells us about Sora:

In context of the drama: I want to believe that Hikari actually IS in (semi regular) touch with Sora. I want to believe that she is currently on her way to "follow the path [she] believed in". Because if she isn't, my reaction to Takeru and Hikari not knowing how to include her either that would be the same as Ken's: "Wow..." At least it being "hard for her to join the fight after all" could be explained by her and Piyomon not being reunited yet, but... All we can do is guess here.

In context of the production: Once again, Sora, just like Mimi and Jyou, gets the shortest end of the stick and we are still led to believe that she is not really in touch with the group and still on her way to self-discovery. Which is still a shame. And maybe they really just (still) don't know what to do with her.

What the drama tells us about Jyou:

In context of the drama: Writing Jyou is easy. Because I actually BELIEVED the course of the story outlined by Takeru here: Them not wanting to contact him, because he is "always busy" and him getting "really pissed at us after the fact, saying that he actually managed to have some free time for once, and we hadn’t let him know", so they "had a hard time calming him down". THAT WAS REALISTIC - and also implies that Gomamon would have been there and ready to take on the fight, but... Yeah, unfortunately, all of that wasn't real.

In context of the production: They love to play with the running gag of Jyou always being busy - but I like that they, through Hikari, acknowledged not only the fact that they should ALL FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT CONTACTING HIM (and everyone in general), but that he is indeed Mr. Reliable if he is given the chance. Even if reading that bit got me mad for a moment, it at least granted him a little dignity.

What the drama tells us about Ken:

In context of the drama: I think the most important take-aways here are that Ken Ichijouji not only is a person of common sense and sensibility in general - but also that he can be assumed to be comparably rather close with Takeru and Hikari, which is a very nice touch. We don't really get to hear a lot about him personally, but the fact that Hikari and Takeru went out with him alone for food and drinks is pretty telling in my opinion.

In context of the production: Ken has the honour of being a stand-in for several parties at once: First of all, he is a stand-in for us, the readers/listeners, to witness the craziness that is Takeru Takaishi's (and Hikari Yagami's + their Digimon's) imagination in real time, reacting sceptically to whether or not the stuff is realistic/believable in the first place. Secondly, by the end of it, he is a stand-in for the writers who (I am sure now) absolutely would have LOVED to go bonkers with the older kids, telling a crazy Totally Spies/Evangelion AU through them (or at least the ones they knew how to include, such as Taichi, Yamato and Koushirou - they OBVIOUSLY would have loved to put Mimi in there too, even going so far as to make Ken TRY to come up with a scenario for her... But then, they didn't even try with Sora and Jyou).

[roobylavender]

something tangential to the enforced motherhood post i reblogged but while dc's contention with this concept is pretty horrid and distasteful in general what i find worse is the fan reaction in batman circles, specifically with regards to talia and selina. on one hand, you have the very obvious projection of a racist and xenophobic trope onto talia where she is stripped of any and all personal agency and to the point her character can never be severed of motherhood or even worse only viewed as an abusive party within the concept. fans not only project their own experiences of abuse onto her despite these projections being contrary to her own ambitions and writing prior to her character assassination; they also, in the event they don't want her to be an abusive mother, decide to relegate her to a static concept of motherhood where she has no existence outside of raising damian and where there isn't even a possibility of toying with the idea that she may not have actually acquiesced to the concept of motherhood to begin with. i'm always so surprised by how little people seem to contextualize the life talia led as lex corp ceo with her potential role as a mother. how would she be able to live that kind of isolated, purpose-driven life where she could set every personal desire aside for the sake of her duty to the world if she was expected to parent a child first? this is a rare viewpoint i've never really seen expressed but one reason i find morrison's portrayal of bruce and talia as parents to be really ironic is bc i think the roles are nearly reversed. at that point in her life and with the slew of burdens and responsibilities on her shoulders i honestly think talia (regardless of what immense affection i'm sure she would have for her own child) would be the one who had trouble acclimatizing to her role as a parent, versus bruce who made it his intent for several years to parent various children and when he found out talia was pregnant impliedly committed to shielding that child (and her) from violence and a vigilante life at all costs. it's a narrative thread i really would have loved to see explored but on a practical level would likely be impossible to do not only bc of dc's handling of asian mothers and their racist degradation due to their juxtaposition against white fathers, but also bc of dc and dc fans' constricted view of motherhood to begin with. either you're a good mother or you're a bad mother. there's no room for the in-between nuance of possibly loving your child but not knowing how to balance that responsibility bc of what you view as important responsibilities you have to others

on the other hand, you have dc fans' engagement with selina's relationships with younger orphans and sex workers in her community. this is a really interesting one to dissect in light of ship wars specifically bc while i agree that there isn't any sense in having selina act as a mother-figure to bruce's children i also don't really agree with people's justification that she's not a "motherly" character. it's once again a very striking example of the restricted perception people have of motherhood or of behaviors commonly associated with that role, bc i don't think people who say this are really criticizing her ability to be a mother at all. what they're actually criticizing is her capacity to care. there's oddly all too many people who believe selina's anarchy or more self-serving nature is antithetical to any expression of compassion. so what you end up having is a phenomenon where one group of fans is eager to see her co-parent with bruce and another group of fans is eager to see her severed of any significant connections at all bc it somehow fits her "villainous" nature. and all-in-all, from both sides, her relationships with kids like holly and arizona are completely obscured. there's no room made to discuss how selina can possess deep empathy for young people whose experiences she identifies with and that she can care for them and even take them under her wing without necessarily wanting to adopt them, but that if she wanted, maybe she would adopt them. i honestly feel like that was the direction alan grant and doug moench were going in with arizona in the early 90s had mary jo duffy not abruptly excised arizona bc, like a lot of fans, she thought having significant emotional attachments was antithetical to the catwoman persona albeit there was no actual canon to back that notion on a behavioral level. i don't think selina has to be a mother, but i also don't think it's an infliction of stereotypical gender roles on her to imagine a scenario where she might adopt a stray, esp if that scenario occurs within a context where she is still independent and forging her own way of life and liberty. if anything, taking care of holly and arizona were some of the highest points of her narrative, bc they were a looking glass through which to explore selina's capacity for love and mercy, in spite of all of the trauma and abuse that she had to suffer at the hands of others

to me, the problem with dc's contention with motherhood is not so much that it's attached to these women at all, but that the definition of motherhood used is entirely framed with a heteronormative understanding of the family unit, despite the reams of potential to explore characters like talia and selina as independent figures acting outside of that traditional hierarchy

[breserker]

i've been thinking hard on why the post-Team Silent SH games just feel like they don't fucking work at all and I genuinely believe it's because they gravely misinterpret what the multiple endings are supposed to do.

With the exception of the total joke endings which you must go out of your way for sometimes in convoluted ways, the alternate Silent Hill endings do not fundamentally change the story. Harry still finds out what happened to his daughter, James still goes through the same journey as does everyone around him, Heather still kills God as a final boss, Henry still confronts Walter after finding out what he intended to do to apartment 302. The endings just change the outcome, the epilogue, the "what happens next" question.

Meanwhile, because in writing this sh4 fic I realized I had never finished Origins, i look up what's the deal with Travis and...he could either be a totally normal guy OR A FUCKING SERIAL KILLER, and while there are things you do in the game to get one or the other there's like. no way that just doesn't fundamentally change the story being told. And since the games were developed with some semblance of a canon throughline in mind, one ending becomes infinitely clunkier than the other and in its worst cases (Downpour, for example) spits in the player's face for wanting to engage with a complete, coherent story. (Murph totally killed his son! Oops no he totally didn't. Well it doesn't matter because other people think he did. but wait, if you did this one thing, then yeah nevermind it was all true/false all along)

I think this paired with the immensely dionysian approach to writing human beings (while I'm usually an advocate for the dionysian, the post Team-Silent games do not do this well and I mean it derogatorily) makes for what feels like an edgelord experience that thrives on what's the most shocking/wild pulls we can have a player do instead of telling an actual story.

And I think this really messy approach to storytelling by mixing it up with the freedom of video games is why so much of the games just didn't resonate with people on the deeper level that the Team Silent games had. I really wanted to like Murphy but I can't tell you a damn thing about him in confidence because depending on what you do he becomes just a totally different person; he could either be a mourning dad who cut his own losses to imprison himself to avenge his son and the rest of his life be damned, or he could be his son's fucking murderer and it was all a convoluted ploy to incriminate someone else for his son's murder. Who's Murphy Pendleton, then?? His anger in one scene can be totally unchanged from run to run but the contextual interpretation varies so greatly that his anger could come off as a hurt father who lost his son to like. Sinister killer.

The fact that a lot of these games came out during the rise of mystery box style storytelling in the west isn't lost on me either. It's just such a shame because so many of these games have...fine frameworks? Some of them fuck them up more than others (Alex as a veteran being a total lie was..............A Choice) and I didn't include Shattered Memories because while that also bungles its own narratives over and over like Downpour, at least it said that on the tin and was kind of openly experimental in that regard.

PostScript: I know I wanted to bring up Travis's backstory as an example of weird dionysian human beings, and contrast that to Walter's weird ass backstory, and trying to figure out why one succeeds at its grotesque weirdness where the other feels like that Edgelord approach of ohhhh yeah you're just. Puttin' anything on the wall to get a reaction. But I can't figure out where to fit it in here and I think the multiple ending fuckup is a less subjective issue.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Gestation 1.2 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

My thoughts were on Emma on the bus ride home.  For an outside observer, I think it’s easy to trivialize the importance of a ‘best friend’, but when you’re a kid, there’s nobody more important. 

Yeah, that definitely feels like it hits/rings true for me.

Of course, what's weird about this phrasing here, are the 'when you're a kid' and 'for an outside observer' bits. Like, that's more self-aware than I think Taylor should be, and the latter part especially feels like something someone reflecting back on these events years later would say, rather than what someone in the moment would think?

But maybe that's just Taylor's voice.

A friendship that deep is intimate.  Not in the rude way, but just in terms of a no-holds-barred sharing of every vulnerability and weakness.

"Not in the rude way"? I'm... I mean, contextually I think I guess this means like 'not in a sexually intimate' way, I guess, with the use of that phrasing, but that's got to be the weirdest way to put it I've seen, nor did it seem altogether necessary. I don't think anyone would have assumed it was meant that way. I certainly wouldn't have, but it's not like it ruins the work.

That notebook was – had been – my notes and journal for my hero career.  The testing and training I’d done with my powers, pages of crossed out name ideas, even the measurements I was using for my costume in progress.  After Emma, Madison and Sophia had stolen my last backpack and stuffed it in a wastebasket, I had realized how big a danger it was to have everything written down like that.  I had copied everything over into a new notebook in a simple cipher and wrote it bottom to top.  Now that notebook was spoiled, and I was looking at having to copy some two hundred pages of detailed writing into a new notebook if I wanted to preserve the information.  If I could even remember what was on all of the ruined pages.

And so the history of the wormverse turns. Without this, without the kickstarting element, and having that kickstarting element destroy so many of her notes and ideas... she doesn't go out half-cocked like she does. Doesn't face Lung, doesn't meet the Undersiders... and so the wormverse turns.

Many worm fics, especially Altpower fics, do indeed start with the Locker, or even whatever the alternate trigger is, or somewhere similar, and that is understandable, but it also makes a great deal of sense for Wildbow to start here. Three months between the locker and Taylor actually doing anything would have been very dull to read, even if much of it was skipped over. And having Taylor immediately go a-heroing as soon as she was recovered (as much as one can be) from the Locker would have been indicating a very different sort of personality for Taylor. Taylor did got get the most immediately useful power - and she's already probably a pretty thoughtful person, based on what I indirectly know of her.

So it's another key establishing character element for her. I can certainly see why - if every character is established so well - so many of Worm's cast burrows themselves into various people's minds and won't let go. I can see why Worm would have grabbed readers once they started, with all these well-placed hints and details.

Okay, so it had been harder than that.  Not just any spider worked, and the black widow spiders themselves were hard to find.  They weren’t typically found in the northeastern states, where it was generally colder, but I was fortunate that that key element that made Brockton Bay a tourist destination and a hotspot for capes also made it a place where black widow spiders could live, if not thrive.  Namely, it was warm.  Thanks to the surrounding geography and the ocean bordering us on the east, Brockton Bay had some of the mildest winters you could find in the Northeastern States, and some of the most comfortably warm summers.  Both the black widows and the people running around in skintight costumes were thankful for that.

Which came first? Brockton Bay being unusually warm for it's location and thus black widows? Or black widows and this Brockton Bay being unusually warm for it's location?

With my power, I had ensured the spiders could multiply.  I’d kept them in safe locations and fattened them on prey I directed straight to them.  I had flipped that mental switch that told them to breed and lay eggs as if it was summer, fed more prey to the hundreds of young that had resulted and had earned countless costume spinners for my trouble. 

Honestly, this is a reason shard-granted powers are pure bullshit (affectionate), because sweet jesus, this level of control over the bugs, which should have minds humans can't understand? That should not be so simple, and yet.

Yeah, I needed a life.

Yet another cornerstone of a stable timeline. Taylor not having a fucking life.

It wasn’t a great looking costume, just yet.  The fabric was a dirty yellow-gray.  The armored sections had been made out of finely arranged and layered shells and exoskeletons I’d cannibalized from the local insect population and then reinforced with dragline silk.  In the end, the armored parts had wound up dark mottled brown-gray.  I was okay with that.  When the entire thing was done, I planned to dye the fabric and paint the armor.

Knowing what Taylor will be experiencing shortly, it's kind of surprising she didn't realize how villainous her costume looked, but I do suppose I can understand a combination of a desperation to be a hero and being too close to it, and probably just... not wanting to think of it, etc, was a factor.

Also, and like - I've seen lots of very clear dates for various events, where do those come from? It's not in the text, is that something Wildbow provided later? did people run the numbers using the existing dates and just hope they weren't missing anything?

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time season 6

we rewatched breezy last night, i showed kim that episode for the first time, and her reaction was. “other than the arm stuff, that was a great episode but NEVER show me that again”. which is exactly as i predicted so i am the amazing adventure time reaction predictor. 

i enjoy the episode as its metaphorical exploration of finn engaging in casual relationships in order to stave off depression, until he hears the song of another lost soul, and rediscovers love. visualised through a vision of PB knighting him with a special sword - Finn’s original passion. of course, that metaphorical exploration probably had NO place in adventure time, and it doesn’t help that the storyboarder responsible was more than a bit creepy about his ex. however i can still connect to it. 

mostly because, that was adventure time to me!!! not just when I was 16 and it saved my life.... but a decade later when I was 25. after years of dealing with empty rage, and the pandemic, adventure time obsidian came out and i fell in love with the show all over again, i hadn’t had such a passionate awakening for an interest in a long time. 

we also watched the other s6 eps leading to that point. I can’t stress how AMAZING it was being an AT fan at that time, and how soulcrushing it felt watching Finn grow his arm back, and then there was Something Big which people didn’t like, but it was also the final time that I was deeply involved in the show’s fandom while it was still running. At least until Obsidian aired 6 years later!!! 

The Tower is still a complete classic and the moment Finn loses his arm in Citadel might be the most powerful scene in the series. I didn’t feel it deeply last night but that’s probably because I had a headache and felt sick, but the episodes are so BEAUTIFUL visually. Season 6 looks damn good. 

Sad Face is actually fun, I love how jake’s tail goes everywhere

and James II was contextually the funniest episode in the series, realistically we should have hated it when it aired, but it was such a nice breather after the intensity of the season premier and of the original epsiode. i love watching all the characters laugh on the wall at the silly banana guards. 

season 6 suffers from... primarily... no women being in the writers room at the time. absolutely none. that is everpresent, there is a piece of the show’s identity missing, the writing suffers because of it, cos up to that point they at least had rebecca or ako around. and i think this is no more greatly personified than by how Marceline is FUCKING ABSENT for the entire thing. they didn’t want to touch sugar’s character.

it’s also prevalent because of how season 7 has an immediate improvement in terms of warmth and emotional depth, with the introduction of writers who were not cis men. 

however i think season 6 is otherwise an excellent experiment in terms of what you can accomplish in 11 minutes, it is not afraid to go out of its way to explore spirituality for example. i would say it marks the end of adventure time’s insane creative era where it was in constant flux, as in season 7 the show settles down into a consistent nostalgic warmth. 

[lover-of-mine]

Hi Anna!!! 🥰

I wish I could pinpoint one set of lines from "we didn't happen the way we were supposed to (where do we go now?)" Honestly I loved every single word. It made me think about events a different way (from bucks pov for once) and damn.

Anyhoo I'd love the Director's Commentary on your favorite section of that fic pretty please? 🥰

Hi baby, I love that you asked about this fic oaksokasokas

Yk, my thing with that fic in particular is that I hit an "I need to think about how the cemetery felt for Buck", cuz you know me, I'm obsessed with that scene, but I always look at it from Eddie's side, and Eddie makes the decision that Buck is breaking up with him, and doesn't give him the choice, and when you look at the scene, Buck is begging for some sort of reaction from Eddie, but Eddie checked out because Eddie is a runner, so I really wanted to make Eddie confess on that and making Buck call him out on it. And also, I was having a "we give them too much credit when it comes to each other" moment because they misunderstand each other with important things, but since they are so in sync, it won't feel like they aren't in the same wavelength and that creates problems. The cemetery is very easy to use for that, but everything I chose to use on the fic really, the will reveal, Eddie leaving the 118, the grocery store, they are seeing the conversations in different ways. So I wanted those things they don't mention to be addressed while they are angry and hurting and, like, "but you did this" "yeah, because you said that" "i didn't mean it that way" and work up from there. I didn't fully have a goal when I started writing, I actually opened docs to work on the elevator fic that night lol, but then I saw this vision of them fighting, so I just wrote the beginning while trying to contextualize the feeling I wanted from it and then I wrote all of the dialogue up until when Buck kissed Eddie, all in one sitting, no descriptors, just the conversation.

My favorite bit there is actually when Eddie runs away from the kitchen after confessing (because I was already having the huh maybe move them from the kitchen for the getting together feelings lol, and the kitchen is a safe space for Eddie, so getting him out of there makes that tension more clear imo) and Buck is "if you do love me, just stop" because I felt like being called out like that was the only thing that was gonna make this Eddie stop, and that's such a raw thing to ask of somebody, like "please do something you don't want to just because I mean more to you than that" and the way Eddie is all "I'm not making the choice for you" and Buck is all "that's still making the choice for me dumbass" because they are in this place where it feels like Buck thinks he can't ask for more and Eddie thinks he's not enough, and they are taking the choice away from the other because of it, so that was a fun tension to play with while they were fighting. Also, I make it a rule pretty much when writing, to make Buck make the first move, be the first one to address it, to actually say the words, or just the make decision to kiss Eddie, because he never does start things, and I think he needs to, but I tried this with this story for like 5 minutes before deleting it all and making Eddie just say it in the middle of more stuff and Buck having to scramble to deal with it while they were still fighting was the way to go, because I wanted them both to be in a headspace where they think they'll have to take the fact that they love each other to the grave to not lose the friendship. I'm particularly obsessed with the “I can't ask for more of you.” “Everything is already yours!” exchange, because I feel like I really hit something there, Buck things he needs to settle for what he can get and Eddie thinks what he has is not enough, so. if they just said the words, things would move for them, but they just won't ask for what they want.

But I think there I was really thinking to myself "Do I write Eddie as too understanding? Am I making Buck a villain in the cemetery without considering how he's feeling? And do they really understand each other as well as we make it seem like?" It's why it starts right off the bat with the "you're exhausting" comment and escalates from there because things between them would be easier if they just said what they mean every once in a while.

Ask me for the “director’s commentary” on one of my fics?

[miscling]

🗣️ How do you feel your AuDHD affects your kinks?

this is gonna be an answer™️because like, my AuDHD affects me a lot. autistically i like order and structure but with ADHD i can't really do anything that isn't immediately in front of me. i get hit pretty hard by the 'Now or Never' mindset, in that i have time blindness and an unreliable memory, so the best time to do anything is when i think to do it. this means i forget to do things i want to do, and struggle to do the things i need to.

it isn't something that i think is bad, though. i don't think myself lesser for these traits and i get angry when they're painted as something wrong with me. a lot of the time, the things that my AuDHD impacts are things that i can do on my own, if i'm given the space and support to do so.

i've happily come to a point where i've kinkified my AuDHD, actually. listen, i'm better as a sub for being AuDHD. i kinda try to lean into the way audhd gets affects me and sexualise it a little, like i don't think it's a bad thing that i have, just something that makes me different. in fact because of that difference i can be very imaginitive and provide unexpected answers and reactions that can make playing with me more exciting than playing with someone you can completely predict. my imagination feeds mostly into my writing, but it also plays out in the diversity of my kinks.

being a toy for people, getting tasks, doing tasks, and then being rewarded for it fires off ALL the pleasure circuits, which i can then take into other things i need to do. the way i seek order and structure from others makes me exceptionally obedient and well behaved, i am a good girl because i am so predisposed to obedience. i might have an inability to keep track of time and formalities, but this makes me a better ditz, who is easily controlled by someone taking charge and giving me direction. it's so easy to control me with gentle tasks and rewards.

it can also make it easier to describe myself as a pet, because if i already have a different role then i can help define what that role is inclusive of my audhd traits. as a pet i need lots of love and affection, to be cherished and looked after, and i will appreciate and love in return for it. i might have special sensory requirements, but all subs have ways they need taking care of. mine can be used to emphasise the power divide between us. my specific sensory requirements actually provide me with a lot more toughness against phsysical sensory stimuli and a weakness to audiovisual ones, allowing for some very cool interactions with tickling/masochism and hypnoplay respectively.

when i ask for reminders, i'm not saying i'm not focused on someone, but that i want to deepen that connection by having that interaction where someone tells me what to do, then i do it, and then we both know that i will obey and that they care enough about my obedience to ask for it. that they won't assume i don't care any more, because i can show them i care by doing as i'm told as soon as i'm able.

so yes, i believe, fully, completely, without question, that there's nothing about my AuDHD that makes me a lesser submissive plaything, if anything, the contract of consent is even easier for me to negotiate because my interactions with society have taught me how to read my own sensory perceptions and needs in such a way that i can be 100% clear about the things i enjoy and don't. when i give up control to someone, it's far more powerful because it's so much harder for me to feel safe and secure.

one other thing that comes to mind is autistic masking, which is really a trauma response to being told off for autistic traits. i can adopt roles and act, i can sink into contextually sensitive headspaces much more deeply with clear expectations. if i know i'm being put in a dollspace or kittyspace or dronespace it's much easier for me to do that because i've got practice being what others expect me to be if i've been properly instructed. this can be draining for me, but i enjoy doing it for fun, and kink is very fun!

i think though, that'll do for this infodump. i kinda wanna distill down for a more concise post on the subject though... this is a bit of a beast to pull through! and i know i'd struggle to read it all since i'm such a ditz who'd get distracted half way through!

Thank you for the ask task! (7)

[theevilthatismokke]

/chapter 100 spoilers/

I... struggle to write something about this chapter, because it feels like I'm just repeating myself from last chapter...

The most interesting thing to note here are Mitsuba's feelings about how he wants to die. Once again we have the preciousness of life contextualized through the lens of someone who wants to die.

Mitsuba thinks he's a monster, his cravings for hearts, be them supernatural or human, and his inability to stay together without them, leave him feeling like his dream of becoming human is impossible.

And without his dream, there's nothing out there for him. No family, no lovers, no friends...

Love is the driving force within JSHK. Life without love (and as always, I reiterate that this love can be various things; platonic love, romantic love, familial love, the compassion and empathy for those around you, self-love, or even passions/dreams/desires you can follow, sometimes, it can be all of these all at once) isn't worth living in the world of JSHK.

Which is why, seeing Kou cry over him... just seals the deal to Mitsuba.

To Mitsuba, it means his life has value to Kou, and that their bond, that meeting each other, has meaning. To die, knowing it wasn't all pointless, that he was cared by someone, that's what Mitsuba wants.

That Kou can suffer over losing him, is proof for Mitsuba that somebody actually cares about him, even if it isn't all that special, even if Kou would do that (as far as Mitsuba knows) for anyody else.

This is also a recurring thing in JSHK. There's this... tendency, where the characters can only, truly conffirm that their beloved cares about them through tears, grief, suffering or any other extreme act or show of emotion.

We have this with Akane knowing Aoi reciprocates his feelings when he sees her crying (and she never cries!!) over the mere thought of him hating her.

We also have this with Hakubo and Sumire, as Hakubo's grieving over Sumire for centuries (it's not just that he was miserable over her, he was cursed by their love) and his boundary being his personal hell, are proof to them both of their mutual feelings.

I don't think I need to elaborate on the "extreme acts or show of emotion" lol. Pick any character. Go ahead.

And, you know, this makes sense, even without the aesthetics of the manga, because...

Well, this is a story about a bunch of lonely, self-loathing, unloved people whose communication skills and emotional intelliegence are of a collective sum of negative points.

...but I digress.

Meanwhile, I find Kou's reaction to Mitsuba's assessment of his character to be very interesting:

Mitsuba seems to see Kou as this ridiculously kind person, who cares about everyone just about equally.

And he's not particularly wrong. Kou's a kind boy, and that's been established many times. I do think a part of his wish to help others is genuine.

buuuut, Mitsuba's not entirely right.

At least, as far as Kou is concerned.

You see, JSHK doesn't deal in black-and-white, even when it comes to things like selflessness or selfishness. Many times, we've seen that an apparently "selfless" behavior isn't treated as simply as such. Like Yako's wish and actions to bring Misaki back.

And Kou’s a similar case.

Kou wishes, more than anything, to become a strong, reliable, selfless ideal hero. Well, no that’s a lie. Kou struggles with his own self-worth, and because he equates said worth with strength (the strength of a good exorcist, to be specific, as that’s what he grew up hearing from his clan), he tries to emulate the heroic image he has of the Minamoto exorcists and Teru.

Kou’s desires to “save everyone” are strongly rooted in these self-worth issues. He… wants to be needed. Kou wants to be a hero, at least partially, because he wants to feel good about himself.

something, something, insert panel comparing kou and yako for the nth time

But Kou’s, so far, had big problems with admitting his more selfish motives.

Being selfish, having a… less noble motivation, breaks this heroic image he strives to achieve. Kou doesn’t want to admit his own selfishness, which is why he sees the Red House “temptations” (that’s how he sees them, as cheap tricks, temptations of an evil spirit).

it's interesting that kou only relents and kinda admits he wants those things when he encounters his (dead) mom. because that's a wish he can accept. he still gets conflicted abt mitsuba tho.

“That’s not what I want”, Kou yells to the desires revealed by the Red House.

“I only wish to save [Nene]!”, Kou justifies. He’s a hero, after all, who is going to save everyone, right?!? His motivations are only saving others and slaying evil kaii, of course he’s not selfish!!!

…right?

This also applies, I think, to his relationship with Mitsuba.

There are some key factors that leave Kou confused when it comes to Mitsuba, and why he tends to… try to push Mitsuba to the back of his mind.

There’s, of course, the fact that he doesn’t consider “this Mitsuba”, the “real Mitsuba”. But also, there’s the fact that… I think Kou is disturbed by his growing feelings toward Mistuba. He doesn’t want to admit that there might be a person who’s slowly become more important than all others. More important than Nene or his brother or even his want to become a “hero”.

Because that would be selfish.

And because these feelings are intense.

Both, in ways that are, unbecoming, unfitting of an ideal, selfless hero.

…and because, deep down, there’s a part of Kou that wants to devote himself solely to Mitsuba, and have Mitsuba, in turn, depend solely on Kou.

Basically, Mistuba’s suicidal, Kou’s selfish but doesn’t want to admit it, and that can only end well (lol).

As always, communication, self-discovery and acceptance of love are the only way things can move forward, so let’s see where this will go.

Other than that... I'm curious about the school festival. And the little things they mentioned, like... the cafe, the haunted house and the little play with, princes and princess. Because of the twitter events and all that.

well, who knows lol.

Also!! One last tinfoil moment before I go!! (as if this post and every other post in this blog wasn't enough... )

what the heck are you planning for chapter 101, aidairo?

[syneilesis]

perhaps a question, or a few: i’m sure kicho knows his actions are behind y/n’s eventual death, but is there wishful thinking, you think, on his part? because he doesn’t strike me as a person who’d say declarations of love, promises of a better future, assurance of protection just for the sake of it. surely, somewhere somehow, there’s some form of self-deception somewhere?

and and if this is true, i can’t imagine (or rather, curious) how he’d come to the realisation that he’d actively cause the demise of his love one. will he chuck it as collateral damage? as a means to an end? or will he just buckle and spiral?

cries would you be so kind to give us a peek? a short drabble maybe? or perhaps just a few liners 😩😩😩

Ohh! First of all, thank you for these questions! Questions about my fics make my heart aflutter 🥺😊💖

But to answer your questions: Well, I actually have two kinds of answers lol. The first one is: everything that isn't explicitly mentioned in the fic can be up to the reader's interpretation! The fic is written in a way that we know only what the MC is going through, so the ambiguity in those gaps can be filled by your imagination :D

The second answer is much more lengthy and detailed and contextualized, so I'll put it under a cut.

I wrote i bruise my hands on the living cage when Kicho's route hadn't been announced yet in JP, and the only information I had of him was from his introductory story, Nobunaga's sequel, and Motonari's route. I've always been drawn to morally ambiguous characters whose goals may be good but the means to achieve them isn't necessarily moral itself (hehe I'm looking at you, too, Vlad). So, in this case, I'd like to explore what might happen if, ya know, Kicho won.

Some things that I had to be firm about writing the fic: Kicho wins, at a cost. And that cost is MC. Try as she might to stop him, MC ultimately fails. So she disappears/dies/is erased from existence at the end of the fic. Sorry, MC lol

I also had this flavor of Kicho in mind: so absorbed in his goal that he'd do everything to achieve it – which in a way broke him. So he's a little more mad and deluded in the fic.

For your first set of question, you're right! This Kicho is overconfident about his capability to fulfil two things: achieve his goal and keep MC safe beside him. It's his hubris that would do him in, and it did. He got the former, but not the latter. I don't know if it came across in the writing, but the scene where Kicho found out that MC was affected by his tampering with historical events, his reaction was supposed to come off as unnerving and alarming. At that point he's already blinded by his goal; he's going to win no matter what. This man had such severe tunnel vision!

For the second set of question ... hmm ... this is the more ambiguous area where you can imagine whatever you want. Honestly I've thought little about the aftermath haha, because I was focused on MC's POV. I'm torn whether to say something further! Lol. Because what I'd think may be different from yours and it may not be what you're looking for. But! For you, anon, I'll try hehe.

Let's see ... (please brace yourself?)

---

The symptoms I used in the fic was similar to the ones in Nobunaga's sequel: blackouts, etc. But once Kicho won, the result would be an altered future, where MC would not exist. And then time travel rules and all got applied – which meant that MC would get erased in existence in the present (past?) timeline. She'd disappear. Kicho wouldn't be there when it happened. Back in his manor (?), MC would feel and see herself disintegrating, and her last thought would be, I'm sorry, Kicho.

When Kicho came home, there's no sign of MC anywhere. At first he thought that she'd left, but eventually he'd figure it out. Her things were, after all, still there. And it would devastate him, like a maw suddenly devouring his heart. He'd be in denial at first. He was so sure of the results, never did he think that he'd miscalculate. It was impossible. This was the one thing that he had no contingencies.

He'd probably fall to his knees and for a very long time stare at the futon where they'd lain together the night before. His mind would be blank the entire time.

And then, more effects of the timeline disruption! Because MC's existence had been erased, the people who knew her began to forget her. As if she never existed in the first place. Kicho would feel in his mind the slow death of his memories of MC. One memory after another, it would fade into oblivion, and he couldn't stop it. Before the last of his memories of MC disappeared permanently, Kicho swallowed and thought to himself, This is the price of my conviction.

So he lived the rest of his life under the consequences of his ambition. In that regard, he was satisfied. But there were times when an inexplicable sorrow consumed him, and he couldn't identify the cause. Sometimes, he felt emptiness: when he'd lie down to sleep, he'd seek for a warmth that wasn't there. When he'd appraise a kimono for trade, he'd turn his head as if to talk to someone, but he had nobody with him. These were some things that confused Kicho, but no matter what he did there were no answers to soothe his clamoring heart. No answers.

That was the price of his conviction.

---

Phew, that got long. So long story short: Kicho genuinely loved MC, but ultimately chose his ambition 🥲

I hope I answered satisfactorily? If not, I'm sorry 😂😭 But I truly enjoyed your ask, anon! I hope you'll come back in the future 💖

[articlesofnote]

a true original

so I spend a lot of time thinking, just letting the brain do its thing while it spends whatever effort it needs to spend on keeping my heart beating and operating my sweat glands and whatever. and, wow, do I want to go back and redo that first paragraph, but I won't, for reasons which may (or may not) become clear. y'see, just a minute ago I watched a youtube (id: aCZ1CFRwhQI) which is from some internet guy talking about The Wire. the Algorithm knows that I like The Wire, so I guess that's why I got this one. it's a li'l eight-minute video precis about this one shot, where the camera pulls back and there's a shit-ton of cans on a roof. it was an ok video! it had some new information for me, about one of the showrunner's philosophy about how the camera should work, and a new way (to me) of articulating that philosophy: the idea of "what the camera knows." but, the analysis of the shot itself was pretty thin sauce. the guy who made the video also got some characters names wrong! which is Very Irritating for a pedant like me. so I'm thinking about this video, and my reaction to it. i'm thinking, particularly, about whether it is possible - and if possible, desirable - to contribute actually original perspectives into the world. i feel that, yes, it's possible but really fucking challenging, because there's a lot of people saying a lot of things about a lot of stuff. and yes, it's desirable, because otherwise nothing ever changes, and culture becomes more and more homogeneous as everybody comments on the comments on the comments on... the comments on some cultural artifact that represented an Original Perspective on Something. and homogeneity is bad! I think! i'm pretty sure? but, also, for something to be commentary it has to exist in such a way that some audience somewhere can understand it; they have to have enough of the contextual pieces already that they can see the connection that the commentary is trying to make. something actually original would definitionally be impossible to understand, since nobody would have a frame of reference for it, so whatever else it might be, it would be bad commentary. so, this video. am I the audience? maybe - I watched it, I thought it was ok, I got something out of it. probably an ok use of eight-ish minutes. i've wasted time in much dumber ways. but i feel like the only response I have to something like that is to make another video being like "here's MY take on that shot" - and it would have basically 99% of its DNA in common with the video it was a response to. it hardly feels like I could contribute something meaningful. and those are two concepts I didn't expect to find linked in my mind - that Meaningfulness is so closely synonymous with Originality that I'll just use the one when I've been talking about the other. so, okay, what I care about is meaning... and, christ, that sounds so goddamn banal when I actually write it out. like, no shit I care about meaning? on the other hand, though, why feel bad about just saying that? like i've committed a faux-pas or something. where the hell did these rules in my mind come from? i guess, you know, cliche is bad... didn't realize I'd internalized that so strongly! which brings us back to that first paragraph - i feel like what I wrote is some weird-ass way to try and acknowledge that the Cartesian mind-body dualism is horseshit, in my own words - i.e. to actually contribute an original expression! about a thought that matters to me! that is, to acknowledge and express something that I find meaningful, albeit in an obscure way. and my IMMEDIATE and NEARLY OVERWHELMING instinct was "do not, should not, cannot write this, delete now, bad" - and i'm fighting that instinct AGAIN, thinking about actually posting this - so like, damn, thank you random youtuber for making a kinda mediocre video about something I like, so I could have some feelings about it, then have some feelings about the feelings, then write about the feelings about the feelings in this tumblr post. thank you, in other words, for helping me feel okay about saying something original EDIT: also, lmao, the beta editor had a bug and wouldn’t let me post this at first

[usefulfictions]

How does technology enforce injustice? [Week 2/Coding]

Writing from:

September 2023

A class discussion about code and how who can (and do) code is not simply a ‘skill issue’.

An article by Audrey Watters, “Men (Still) Explain Technology to Me: Gender and Education Technology.” (2015)

The majority of this is taken from a post that I created for the class’s discussion forum

In reading Audrey Watters' article regarding the injustice and inequality present in even the ways that ideas are explained in the field of technology (especially education technology), I found her thoughts quite compelling and certainly relevant to any discussion of gender disparities in the digital space. However, the two main things that stuck out to me were the scope of her discussion as well as some of the concepts she presented.

Regarding the scope, evidently, her focus is how gender remains a point of inequality in education technology, specifically in ways that undermine and invalidate the knowledge that women have and in ways that often lead to harassment and other forms of harm. This is an extremely important topic and there are moments when Watters seems to reach beyond this scope to poke at other social dynamics that intersect with gender in ways that are extremely relevant to the issue of online harassment that targets women with accusations of ineptitude. In general, it is not an issue that Watters does this, in fact in most cases I would say it is better to try and elaborate on how intersecting social inequalities change the dynamics of things like the gender divide, but Watters tends to elaborate on these issues only in bits that seem akin to placing buzzwords in an article. I am not claiming anything towards Watters' intent, I can see the good intention in her words but as a reader, I came away with a feeling of inconsistency regarding her ideas and how much a commitment to those ideas was not necessarily present in how she wrote the paper.

One occurrence of this is that at one point Watters brings up the restrictions that software claiming to offer 'personalization' actually places on an individual, a specific example that she uses is: "Gender, for example, is often a drop-down menu where one can choose either "male" or "female". This is certainly a correct observation and I would find no problem with this sentence or any questioning of Watters commitments if not for a sentence quite early in her article where she claims, "Just over half of all games are men (52%); that means just under half are women." The critique Watters is raising in talking about the restrictions of personalization seems to be one she is willing to undermine to support the claim she is making. In discussing the percentage of men, her point on how it seems incorrect to call anyone to suggest video games should reflect the actual demographics 'social justice warriors' is still salient if she commits to the fact that the remaining 48% might include genders beyond just women. In a similar vein, Watters critiques Isaacson's book by pointing out that his writing makes it seem that "the history of computing is the history of men, white men." This is an important distinction to be sure, but it is also one that Watters herself does not elaborate on beyond alluding to the fact that there might possibly be an issue of race at play. Any other references Watters makes to race - whether rhetorical questions or specific data about percentages of employment for certain races in the technological sector - remain very surface level in an article that otherwise cares to elaborate greatly on the dynamics at play for women in (education) technology. 

Doing some self-reflection, my reaction to this reading is absolutely contextualized by my own issue with the role that 'mansplaining' has come to have in the cultural zeitgeist. While it certainly does point out issues with reality, even the word 'mansplain' suggests that the people who participate in these explanations and lessons that assume the inferiority of those they explain to due to social injustice and inequality are always men. This is far from the case. To me, the real issue that both Solnit and Watters speak to in their writing is about how assuming that the knowledge of others is insufficient due to some social/political/cultural difference in identity leads to the reification of those social injustices. However, in tying the idea that what is happening here might be called mansplaining or might be encapsulated by the phrase "men (still) explain technology to me" at worst fails to grasp the reality and depth of the issue and at best encourages a white feminist stance on what it means to support social equality. Watters' article brings up surface-level references to the role of race in the technological field but which only really engages with what it means to be a (implicitly white) woman who encounters (implicitly white) men.

All of that said, I'll return to what I found really valuable about Watters’ article. In her discussion of how the presentation and performance of one's identity tends to actually be restricted by the templates of online spaces, Watters brings up the work of Amber Case and the idea of the 'templated self'. Watters' (and Case's) concern is of course education technology and digital spaces, but the questions she raises: "Who is building the template? Who is engineering the template? Who is there to demand the template be cracked open? What will the template look like if we’ve chased women and people of color out of programming?" Are ones that seemingly have the same concerns that emerge in places like critical theory. All that is changing is the specific space/place - "Who is building the template?" seems to have the same basis as what occurs when we question who determines laws, the rules of an institute, etc. This is not to say that Case and Watters' ideas are unsatisfactory or unimportant - specificity creates essential clarity in discussing issues like those of formatted identity - but it does seem to urge a return to the question whether digital humanities is a novel discipline. For me, I wasn't especially convinced that digital humanities has something inherently different in its make up that separates it from humanities at the start of this course. This article, both in the ideas that I found compelling and the habits that I found a bit dissatisfying, seems to persuade me further that if there is a difference to be drawn between 'digital humanities' and 'humanities' it is a fairly arbitrary one.

In summary:

Weird: analyses of the problems in the coding communities (and digital humanities as well) that do not commit fully to intersectional analysis seem to overlook the reificatory processes in which our society – especially that as intertwined with capitalism as technology is – is ingrained.

Wonderful: awareness/keeping transparent our recognition of how technological fields can be restrictive helps us to actually combat the habits which further ingrain those unjust habits.

Worrying: the fact that the very structure of the field of technology/methods for understanding seems to pose an intrinsic barrier which will always be exclusionary in unjust and unequal ways.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

(pt 1) i really enjoy all your atla analyses & you've done a great job breaking down the usual arguments re how eip shows that kataang shouldn't have happened. i'm curious about your take on one specific argument that i just saw today, in an analysis of the show by a zker that was otherwise quite good and respectful (i know you've already talked about eip a lot, so no problem if you don't feel like rehashing). the premise: aang didn't just pressure katara in eip, he threatened her.

(pt 2) they point to when katara joins aang & asks if he’s alright: “aang: no, i’m not! i hate this play! katara: i know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting. aang: overreacting? if i hadn’t blocked my chakra, i’d probably be in the avatar state right now!” the suggestion is he’s threatening her when he says ‘i’d probably be in the avatar state right now’ to describe his anger. i think this take exaggerates and oversimplifies it, but interested in your thoughts on it.

Hello my friend!! It is true I am Old inside and don’t like rehashing dhdlksjslks BUT your comments on my posts are always incredibly kind and insightful so I am more than willing to do a bit of rehashing for you 🥰 Besides! I’ve seen this general take before a few times and it’s always irked me for the exact reason you point out - it simultaneously exaggerates and oversimplifies the situation (and honestly that’s an impressive duality since it’s seemingly contradictory, so hats off to them lmaooo) - and now is as good a time as any to address it. So, for starters, let’s go ahead and get the excerpt they love to focus on so much:

Cut to Aang standing alone on a balcony. Katara enters and walks up to him.

Katara: Are you all right?

Aang: [Angered.] No, I’m not! I hate this play! [Yanks his hat off and throws it on the ground.]

Katara: I know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting.

Aang: Overreacting? If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!

Here’s the thing about so-called analyses of this excerpt: in a manner extremely convenient to the poster, they never seek to contextualize this moment. (I mean, to do so would deplatform their entire “argument” - perhaps that’s why they avoid performing a full analysis?) So let’s avoid that pitfall from the start.

Firstly, below are some links to related posts; I’m going to do my best to summarize the most relevant parts, but for anyone who desires greater detail, I gotchu 😤

This post explains why EIP (the play, lol) is imperialist propaganda and is intended to belittle the entire Gaang.

This post explains how Aang never acted “entitled” to Katara’s affections, particularly in regard to EIP.

This post breaks down the infamous EIP kiss like Snopes Fact Checker, covering common misconceptions, important perspectives to consider, etc.

Alright. With that out the way, it’s time for some context.

Aang and Katara have this conversation on the balcony after watching 95% of “The Boy in the Iceberg,” a play chock-full of Fire Nation propaganda that demeans the entire Gaang in order to prop up the Fire Nation as superior (hence why the play ends with Ozai’s victory). Here is my general breakdown of Aang and Katara’s treatment in particular from a previous post:

- katara, an indigenous woman, is highly sexualized and portrayed as overly dramatic and tearful, because the fire nation objectifies women not of their own people and views them as less intelligent and less emotionally stable

- aang, the avatar, the sole survivor of the fire nation’s genocide of the air nomads who is incredibly in-touch with his spirituality and femininity, is portrayed as an overly-airy and immature woman. the fire nation portrays him with a female actor to demean him (like, that’s classic imperialistic propagandist tactics) and furthermore writing his character as a childish airhead reinforces the fire nation sentiment that the air nomads were weak, foolish people who did not deserve to exist in their world

In other words, these kids have just watched almost an entire play that preys upon their insecurities and depicts them using racist and sexist stereotypes about their respective nations. It is completely understandable that tensions might run a little high and that their interactions would not be as balanced as usual (Katara and Aang have a great track record of communicating well with each other, as it happens!).

So we have to keep that in mind when examining the aforementioned excerpt. But there are other factors to consider, too! Namely: they are kids. Children. Teens. Aang is 12, Katara is 14.

If we want to be scientific, a person’s brain doesn’t finish developing until they are 25, lmao, and the preteen/teen years are when the prefrontal cortex that controls “rationality,” “judgement,” “forethought,” etc. is still developing. This doesn’t mean Aang and Katara are irrational and make poor decisions 24/7 (obviously not), but it does mean that in an intense, highly emotional situation, like after watching a play that intentionally demeans them and depicts them as inferior, they are more likely to overreact, more likely to be emotional, and more likely to make mistakes. Like, I’m serious, lol. “Teens process information with the amygdala.” That’s part of the brain that helps control emotions! It’s why teens sometimes struggle to articulate what we’re thinking, especially in situations that require instinct/impulse and quick decisions, because we’re really feeling whenever we make those choices. Acting more on emotion. Our brains simply haven’t finished developing the decision-making parts, lmao.

In sum: Aang and Katara are both kids, not adults, and should be interpreted as such. This doesn’t negate their intelligence, because they are both incredibly smart and Aang is arguably the wisest of the Gaang, but they are human. Young humans. They have emotions, and we should not be so cruel as to assume they’d never act on them.

So taking that all together, we can now acknowledge the high stress Aang and Katara are under, understand why they might be upset (*cough* imperialist propaganda is hurtful *cough*), and examine how their youth might play into their emotional reactions. And funny thing - all analyses that come to the conclusion of Aang “threatening” Katara here do not usually bother with this context. I can’t imagine why!

And you know what, let’s add one more piece of context: Sokka states that Aang left the theater “like, ten minutes ago,” which is what cues Katara to go look for him on the balcony. The reason I mention this line is because to me, it suggests Aang knew he was more worked up than usual! He chose to separate himself from his friends so he could process his frustration! He did not take his anger at the play out on them; instead, he purposefully took time and space to be alone.

With that in mind, I don’t understand at all how Aang’s Avatar state quote could be interpreted as a threat? Canonly, Aang is someone who was aware enough of his frustration to separate himself from the others - yet the logical next step is him threatening Katara as a result? He knew his intense emotions were because of the play (which he says himself), so the logical conclusion is that he then pinned the fault on Katara? What?? Sorry, that interpretation has no textual basis, lmao. But I digress!

Aang tells Katara, “If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!” As you said, this is the line people point to in an attempt to justify their (baseless) conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. So let’s bring in the two key pieces of context: imperialist propaganda and age. Given that Aang is 12, and given that Aang has just watched almost a full play that demeans him and everything his people stood for (and let’s not forget it also mocks his and Katara’s love for each other)…

His reaction is understandable. An exaggeration and needlessly dramatic, but understandable. He feels vulnerable and insecure and Aang is human. He is human and flawed and he overreacts here and I love that A:TLA shows how even our heroes, even people who are truly good at heart and in soul, can get overly upset (especially given the aforementioned circumstances!). Would Aang actually be in the Avatar state at that moment, had it been possible? Of course not! He’s young and he’s hurt and as such he says something dramatic to convey his anxieties and frustrations. The line is not meant to be taken literally, and seeing people do so despite all the factors that should be taken into consideration when analyzing it… Cue a long, tired sigh from me and so many other A:TLA fans.

And to be honest? I cannot fathom how people watch this episode and come to the conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. To me, this episode - besides being a recap episode - is one that humanizes our cast even further. Aang snaps at Katara, kisses her when he shouldn’t (which the story appropriately treats as wrong). Katara pushes down her true feelings and retreats into herself, afraid to start a relationship with the boy she loves because she’s already lost him once before and can’t bear to do so again. Zuko further confronts the hurt he’s enacted upon others, especially upon Iroh. Toph practices being vulnerable and accepting vulnerability from others by conversing with Zuko. Sokka witnesses how others have erased his contributions and labelled him as nothing more than the token nonbender in the group. Even Suki learns that she is not the only person who holds a place in Sokka’s heart and that she can never replace what he has lost.

To watch this episode where our heroes must come to terms with how the Fire Nation deems them inherently inferior, with how they have more fights to overcome in the future with the Fire Nation than a single war, and to come to the conclusion that… that what, Aang is abusive? A monster? Irredeemable? That he would threaten his best friend, someone he loves in every way?

Wow. That says more than enough about the viewer, doesn’t it?

[bvccy]

Tenderness and Ferocity | 3. The Dream and the Third Day

Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky Barnes x Hydra!Reader Fic Synopsis: The Winter Soldier is starting to make stupid mistakes in the field, which is Bucky's way of trying to wrest back control and sabotage his handlers. Hydra brings a new doctor to figure out what's wrong with him and fix it. As she spends time with him, she becomes fond of the Winter Soldier, and he becomes fond of her. Bucky has other ideas. Or, a fic in which the Winter Soldier is the good guy and Bucky is actually the bad guy. Warnings for this chapter: Angst, Smut, Noncon Word count: 2334 Read on AO3: [link] [Previous Chapter] [Fic Masterlist] [Next Chapter]

"Life in essence can only be sustained because of the discontinuity. Why else does one sleep? Not to rest, but above all to forget. [...] If one could prevent mankind from sleeping, I am convinced that a massacre without end would ensue; it would mean the end of history." — Emil Cioran

All the useless gadgets clattered, without clattering, to the floor. The exposed skin of her back shone against the pressing dark, under a light that wasn't there. Her arms stretched out in front of her to grab the table, to clench in little fists, to crawl away from him... He clasped both her wrists in one heavy hand while he held her by the hip with the other. The stranger looked unfamiliar and out of place, yet boyishly handsome, a lissome thoroughbred cut from pale stone.

He'd already yanked her shirt halfway down her back, leaving a delicate pair of peachy straps to cut into her shoulders as she tried to pull herself up and away. With his other hand, he raised the black flag of her skirt inch by hurried inch. Two flesh hands, pawing at her squirming silhouette.

Those legs that had teased him so were now buckled in a tangle of red lace, at once parted and constricted and leaving her fully victim to him. Above her he loomed, then leaned, slowly down to feel her warmth, his dark green shirt sticking against her back.

In a voice dry with disuse he taunted her to say that she wanted it, to beg for it, though he sounded utterly disinterested and his eyes — he couldn't actually see his eyes, but he could hear that same disuse and disinterest ringing in their glare. She whimpered underneath him but said nothing, insulted from both directions by his grimy touch and transparent insults.

"Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?" said the stranger — but not to him, nor to her — as he buried his face in her fragrant hair and his hips into hers and himself into her... But no relief came, nor satisfaction, and it felt like no matter how close he got to her, couldn't be further away.

He battered and battered and broke through, with great delight at just the effort, and he made tremors rise then relent in her tense legs. Her high heels tapped against the floor in a trembling rhythm that undercut her plaintive moans until he stopped, and settled inside her, and laughed against her shoulder in a harsh exhale. He taunted her over how she sounded, how she felt, how he felt in her.

The more she withdrew, the more aggressively he followed, always fighting her and pulling the fight out of her in honeydew dollops that had nowhere left to go but to seep and stain his nice trousers. Her shoulders went up in a useless attempt to hide, but he squeezed her wrists in warning and bit her shoulder, the nape of her neck, anywhere he could reach that would punish her until she learned to stay still.

"Oooh yesss, that's it... I hate you so much." he laughed in manic joy, eyes falling closed against her throat.

The hand that held her hip squeezed her closer, pressing her so desperately against him like he was trying to crawl up inside and never leave. She whined in pain, muffled by her arms and the table. The stranger cooed against her ear and teased against her hips, turned her inside out and back together, discordant with her mewls and wails as he clung to her and she unconsciously to him the more his galloping pace opened her up and brought her out to meet him.

He wasn't so much pleasing himself as punishing her, and only interrupted his focus to laugh or hiss at some new-discovered throbbing, a frisson to rub against, a frothy surrender that he worked hard to push through until she took it again.

"I'm gonna kill you," he snarled down at her. "I swear I'm gonna kill you..."

No amount of resistance could carry her through his punishing thrusts, and no surrender was enough, and it all went on and on until the threads holding her up started to unravel, leaving her a blushing rough and bloody shade that the stranger could claim as an extension of himself. He rubbed away the parts that weren't base and grimed up what was left. Only thoughtless sounds came out of her now as she struggled to fit him, and fit into him.

The stranger heaved hotly with the effort of holding still, feeling over and through her deliberately and seeking still more, pressing his body down to suppress her new, aching, wet shivers.

With a pain melting through her surrender, down, down into pleasure, she tried to plead with him and she moaned his name, his real name, but after the first flush of recognition he stopped caring because he knew he wouldn't remember it anyway and —

Wait, why wouldn't he remember it?

Eyes shot open only to be greeted by the cement ceiling of his cell. The Soldier sighed and turned his head, looking at the corner where the bulbous little camera was. He looked to the door and saw the parting screen still closed shut — he was awake too early. With a groan, he turned over in his cot and pressed the cold metal hand where he ached.

On their third session, after the guardsmen left, he stepped into the room to find a collection of strange equipment and wires on the table, and a mix of subtle scents coming from two wooden containers. She sat in her chair, waiting for him with a smile, her sleek legs crossed together tightly. She wasn't wearing her lab coat anymore.

"Good morning." she said as they closed the door. "Come on in, sit down. None of this stuff is going to hurt you, I promise."

Reluctantly, he obeyed, his boots sounding slow and heavy through the room as he made his way toward her. He let himself fall in the seat and rested his hands on his tense thighs.

"It's just a GSR monitor. I'll only strap these around your fingers, you won't feel a thing." She demonstrated by wrapping one around her finger, wiggling, holding it up for his doubtful eyes. He had no choice anyway, so he rested his right arm on the table. She took his hand and opened the palm up, holding it gently while her other hand went to a little tube and scooped up a salty-smelling goo.

"For conductivity." she explained as she rubbed it just barely in his tough skin. "Be grateful it's not an EEG, otherwise I'd have to rub this stuff into your scalp. You'd look like a punk that got lost in the rain." she laughed, but it died quickly as the Soldier frowned and shifted in his seat.

Then she took two of the straps and wrapped one around his index, another around his middle finger, and turned his palm back down. She clicked the machine on and it beeped in confirmation, beginning a reading of his skin and what was going on underneath.

In plain terms it was a rudimentary lie detector, meant to scan for stress and some primitive emotions. Maybe he knew that or he didn't, but she could tell she had to work him into it, calm him down before she could get an accurate reading of what moved him.

"Do you know what time it is?"

"You have a watch." he grunted, looking at the worn leather strap around her wrist.

"Yes, but do you know?" she smiled.

"0803 hours."

"Yes. Do you know where we are?"

"Headquarters Alpha 3."

"Good. Do you know what day of the week it is?"

"No."

"Did you sleep last night?"

"Yes."

"Did you have any dreams?"

"No." he said with a sardonic smile. The line on the monitor moved ever-so-slightly, but it could just be a reaction of their tiff about it the other day. Or, he was lying to her again.

They spent the rest of their session with him strapped up to it while she made use of a couple of boxes and the little things inside. With eyes closed, he had to guess what she placed between his fingers: a piece of velvet, silk, a pocket watch, a cufflink, a snow globe.

The edge that separated the Asset from whoever he was before was smudged only so slightly, by necessity, the way it was with all the other soldiers in the program — they could still talk, after all, and read and write, and still employ the complexities of hand-to-hand and armed combat, all things they learned in a past life and used now for Hydra's ends. What made her soldier the best was how sharp that edge was, how steady — until it wasn't.

He retained good coordination, if his finely drawn clock was anything to go by, a steadiness that an unbalanced brain would have found difficult. They had tried, with past soldiers, to split the two brain hemispheres physically, severing the membrane that bridged between them in an effort to isolate the old soldier from the new.

The right hemisphere housed contextual perception and feeling, while the left was honed and focused and precise. They even grew to slightly different sizes, in parts, even though the skull that covers them is evenly shaped. It remained in mainstream medicine a mystery, one that Hydra explored with relish.

But all that resulted from their experimental surgeries were monstrous malfunctions. As it turned out, the left hemisphere dominated most of the body even when separated, and Hydra's soldiers were left imprisoned in the right brain, at best controlling one arm and some eyesight.

Removing the whole left hemisphere also didn't yield any improvements, even after recalibrating what remained. There were even more extreme experiments suggested, but they were deemed too damaging to put the soldiers through, too harmful for staff morale, and too uncertain in their results.

It was clear that a successful subject had to keep all his faculties, all the useful memories in whatever form, while imposing the dominance of the right hemisphere over the left. In a way, the Soldier had been there all along, growing with the unwitting owner of that body, learning, judging for himself and reaching, inevitably, different conclusions.

There always was something slightly more sinister in the right hemisphere, which only emerged when it was freed from the left, or when the left was in a dream state and its control dropped. So it was clear which side Hydra drew its soldiers from, when it freed that part of them with their infernal brain-machines.

The wavering of that edge also explained why her Soldier had such excellent memory, remembering even obscure European countries well, but also their capitals, which Hydra never saw fit to teach him. And as she went through more little things that stood out against the strictures of their base and his missions, it emerged that, though steady, the line that separated her Soldier from someone else was kept at his convenience.

The man underneath was generously lending his memories of what fancy little cufflinks and snow globes felt like, just so the Soldier who had never seen them before could give the right answers. But what she needed to figure out was how much of the control was the Soldier's intention, and how much was unconscious reflex. If the man aimed to sabotage his missions, would the Soldier even know? Worse, if he wasn't aware of anyone else sharing his brain, could he really control him?

Would he want to?

For Hydra, her mission was simple: root out the part that dissents, make it submit. They were too focused on efficiency to know what they were truly asking for. They had no idea how bad it could get, or how good...

"That's enough for now. You can open your eyes while I get the next batch, we're almost done. This last bit is just some food tests."

"As long as it's not from the mess hall."

She was halfway to the sink, a small wooden crate in her hands, when she started laughing. "I promise it's not. So it's true what they say? Way to a man's heart..."

"Is through his rib cage."

Her laughter rang through again, but he kept his eyes straight ahead, focusing on the sound of her running her hands under the water, arranging things on a plate, and wiping her hands dry on the threadbare cloth that hung there.

"Close your eyes now." she spoke as she stepped closer from behind. The plate clinked as it met the metallic table, right by his hand, and he smelled and felt the heat of her as she stood right in front of him.

"I'll give you some things to taste, and you just tell me what they are. And they're all pretty soft. Alright? First one. Open..."

Something was nagging him from the back of his brain again, jeering at him for the childish position he was in, but he couldn't think of anything to feel ashamed over.

"Strawberry."

"Good. Now, swallow and... again..."

"Grapes."

"That's right. This next one is a bit, well... Just open and tell me."

He bit into a soft and shapeless thing that tasted like, if anything, a green paste. "I don't know what this is."

"Avocado. Maybe you've never had it before. Better make a wish, then."

"What?"

"Never mind. Open for me again..."

"Mint?"

"Yes, that's a mint leaf. It's perfectly safe, you can swallow. Now, this one will come in a spoon, so open wide." She let the cloying thing slip on his tongue and the taste spread in his mouth in a way that was familiar but unusual.

"Tastes like... roses."

"Yes, that's rose petal jam. If the Director only knew what I spent my funding on, spoiling you..." she giggled, but it died quickly as he kept frightfully still and his jaw tensed. From the corner of her eye she saw the GSR give an angry twitch.

"Right, one more and we're done. Open, and tell m—"

"Plums."

[foxjevilwild]

Thought on the game some more and I'm building a bit of a theory:

-Kris, when they rip their SOUL out, is not being controlled by anyone else. That's Kris, the actual character, taking those actions and creating the DARK fountains.

-They're trying to find a way to remove the SOUL, and free themself from our control.

-They freak out when Spamton[Neo] dies on Pacifist, because they realize that beings in this world die when their STRINGS are cut and they're trying to do the same to the SOUL that's controlling them. Kris wants to be free of it, but if they completely untether - they'll end up a dead husk like Spamton. (this is one of the few times their emotion is expressed and we get no choice over their reaction, this is real Kris screaming out)

-This world has crashed and looped multiple times because of what is interfering in it so Kris is unafraid of the Roaring, and prepared for the SOUL (the cage is already there in chapter 1)

-The same being responsible for the DARK is responsible for implanting the Player SOUL in Kris, and has turned Kris's world into a sort of beacon to draw in SOULs (This is probably Gaster)

-I think everything in the game is some form of acronym - DARK is probably something like "Data-Array Restructuring Kernel" and SOUL is something like "System Operator Unicode Language"

I think the world of Deltarune (and Undertale, really) is a world that knows it is a Game, that it exists as Code in some form, and that it is a constructed reality. I think Gaster (and their followers) are able to see behind the curtain and make this realization, and Gaster has dedicated his existence into first escaping his own STRINGS or script, hiding in the unused files, and then in recoding the world into the image he wants.

I think when Players arrive and start making choices in the original program, it disrupts the process he is using, and so he has created the world of Deltarune by rearranging Undertale and creating a sort of 'trap' for us, the Player, by rigging the SOUL's intended vessel.

I think the Vessel we created in Survey_Program was the original game's 'main character' for the player to control, and Gaster hijacked the process to force the SOUL into Kris.

I think it's called Survey_Program because Gaster was surveying for a suitable Player again, someone to enter their world of code and power the engine he's building there. If the player is too aware, the program crashes - because they are unsuitable for the purpose. If we're able to look too deep into the code, or know who Gaster is - it's dangerous for him and his continued existence. He doesn't care if you name it after Sans or another character (it's amusing to him) - but if you name it after him...he panics and aborts.

Basically I think Real Kris is *also* throwing a wrench in the plans of the unseen villain - they're trying to break free of this forced control and go back to a normal life. To some extent Gaster has anticipated this (he picked Kris for a reason, shaped them in the bunker) - but I think depending on the Player it can go one of a few ways:

1) Our choices align with the best interests of Real Kris, and there is formed a bond between the SOUL and Kris that allows the world to resolve in a healing way, possibly even letting go of our control over them (Similar to the True Pacifist Ending in UT)

2) The neutral ending - where we stop the Roaring but Real Kris steps in to make it happen by ripping their own SOUL out and cutting the strings ( They choose Death or Reset instead of slavery), because we are still controlling them (the neutral ending)

3) The Proceeding, where we force Kris over and over to do what we want them to do. Where we use our knowledge of the game, of the code, to break them and everyone around them to have our fun. Where our voice as the 'Player' gets to take dominance over what the game is supposed to be. (This will be like the Genocide Run)

Toby is making a commentary with each of these choices - mainly about what we expect of a sequel, how we as a fandom can both adore and reinterpret characters, and about the limitations of a sequel as opposed to an original work.

The world is a meta-text on Storytelling *and* Game Creation - it is a story told through a Game because it can only be told through a game - or it wouldn't have any of the thematic punch that it does.

The Dark is reinterpretation, rearrangement - pieces taken from their original setting and reshaped or re-contextualized into something new - still recognizable, but new. This is how a sequel is created, but it's also how we as Players interacted with the original creation. (How many Undertale AU's are there again? Hundreds?)

Anagrams are a major theme - everything in this world is a mish-mash of constituent parts. Two things combined into a new thing. Everything is repurposed and reshaped from an Original. Gaster can manipulate the code, but he can't actually write an original world...not yet. He has to work with the parts that exist. -- The same is true when creating a sequel, or continuing a story. This is both textual, and meta-textual on Toby's part. The literal act of creating a sequel to Undertale, and the game's metaphorical 'Undertale 2' rearrangement, are this amazing little interplay going on between the Audience and Author and Creation.

Our SOUL or our control over the world is how we interact with that creation - there is a sort of undercurrent of power-struggle. The artist wants to tell a story, the characters want to be true to themselves and who they are, the world wants to resolve in a natural way - but in order for us to have choices, the world has to adapt to us, change according to our whims as players of the game.

Sometimes what we want aligns with what the characters want - sometimes what we want is better for them than what they'd choose for themselves - but ultimately we are tyrannical. These little monsters are trapped in a looping prison, chained to our whims by lines of Code they can't see - living in loops bound to our Determination and our absolute mastery over them.

We get to play the game when we want, we get to choose what they do, who they love --- we get to choose how they die. We get to choose if they kill... and we get to do it again and again, changing the outcomes as we please. For Fun.

This process has been hijacked, and our usual choices that would have been coded in are ineffectual. Our 'choices' don't matter, but we still force them on the game. Some characters can ignore us, others don't or can't - sometimes we choose what the character was going to do anyway. Someone cut the string, and we have no control here...

But there are other ways...other routes...to bring our voice back into power over the game. Ways we can break the script, the same as the one who rearranged it.

I think the narrative within Deltarune is that someone is fighting back against us, against that Player and against that control. That someone is Real Kris.

Gaster created the engine beneath the world, the DARK that allows it to rearrange - and the world has been looping through, the Door-Portals into the DARK created and recreated and Player after Player has passed through with Roaring after Roaring fueling the engine he's buried somewhere beneath, hidden in the code.

Most of the denizens aware of this truth go mad, or Gaster uses them and they go mad, or they follow him in a cult like state. Gaster is the only hope for their freedom - the only one able to manipulate the CODE besides the player. Gaster is ultimately selfish, trying to break himself free of the Code - but to these beings he is the only chance at any sort of self-Determination.

Kris is intended to be a puppet, just like Spamton, just like Jevil was going to be (and failed, quarantined). Kris is the end result of Gaster's research - a false vessel for the SOUL that can be scripted along the world's pathing, a character with a pre-existing story to keep the SOUL trapped within a specified loop.

Gaster wants the Roaring, wants the world to loop. Wants us to play the game he's re-scripted for us to power whatever he's using to break things and escape his 'prison of universes' within the Games' code.

We'll have our fun, find our ending - and maybe even get the happy one. Ultimately though, we're not the only ones playing this game...we're not the only Player. Someone will come along again, or we'll reopen the save...and we feed into the engine beneath. The heart of Darkness...

Will it be enough to give them a happy save file? Or are we going to have to force the program into a total crash, expose the being manipulating the strings... will we have to create terrible circumstances for these creatures in order to free them of Gaster? Are we any better, stepping in and shaping their lives? Are they truly free to Hope...to Dream?

Kris is trying to be free of both of us. Kris is trying to save their mom and their friends. I think Kris is the true hero.

We, the player, are just another antagonist.