#AND SEE LIKE I ENJOY PROGRAMMING BUT I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO LIKE DO MY OWN PROJECTS?

[ilostyou]

lallaaalalala just some things on my mind

[lowkeyrobin]

Maybe preferences for the descendants characters about them with a s/o who’s a VK and is having trouble fitting in at auradon? I’m desperate for mal and evie content I dunno

oo yeah sure!! ; hopefully I did this some justice lollll ; but thank you for requesting!! hope you enjoy 🫶 ; I just did the ogs (core four + uma) bc you wanted evie and mal and I like separating the ogs from the ror vks so 😔

DESCENDANTS ; fitting in

includes ; mal, evie, carlos, jay & uma

warnings ; language

masterlist

MAL

she feels so bad that you're not fitting in

it's not even about that, it's about feeling like you're still being ridiculed for being a vk

but trust she has your back

lots of pep talks and reassuring you that you're not like your parent/s

and that weirdos who wanna make fun of you can go suck it

"because everyone who wants to judge you, they can go suck it. you're amazing, they've just yet to see it"

as long as you have her and your friends you'll be okay I promise 😔🙏

EVIE

she knows what it feels like to only fit in because she has a pretty face, so she understands the fake kindness

lots of reassurance that you're worth it, and that you'll fit in soon enough

"theyre just... skeptical. once they get to know you, they'll see why we love you" she smiles. "try and compliment some people, or try out for a sport or program or club"

she has the most genuine, best advice ever

and she'll always be by your side to help

she always brings you to her fashion events so people can meet you as well 🫶🫶

CARLOS

he will do everything in his power to make you feel better / help you fit in

whether it be giving out treats or joining clubs / finding your interests, he'll be there

he understands how scary auradon is at first so he really does try to pep talk you and assure you everything will fall into place

"It'll be alright, y/n, you just have to get out there, find what you love, and kinda just... bond with people. they're just misguided and worried, i guess. but I promise, everything will be alright. Just give it time"

he has your back dw, he WILL snap back at a bitch

"actually, you're built like a refrigerator, so stop talking"

damn okay

JAY

he's constantly reassuring you that everything will be okay

"I swear, y/n, they'll warm up. you just gotta show them you aren't evil. like I did, I joined tourney and it makes me happy. find something that makes you happy, and you'll find other people who are happy with that interest."

he's always got your back too, and he's not one to shy away from a pep talk when you need it

he's right by your side when you're trying out new things to see what you like

and he's always whispering little things in your ear to help you talk to the auradon kids

UMA

she gets it dw

she barely fits in too

she's always got an arm slung over your shoulders while she gives you a pep talk

"dont worry about those people, just be you"

she makes sure to make you realize that you don't have to fit in and be popular amongst the auradon kids

like just be yourself cause you'll always have her and the other vks

[insertdisc5]

this is a stupid question and there’s no reason for my sending it besides trying to understand/overcome my own anxiety/insecurity. your post on game dev software was extremely informative and seems like something you’re really passionate about. for some reason i can’t get past the idea that using premade visual novel/rpg/whatever software will be seen by others as, like, “that doesn’t count as making a real game, you just dragged and dropped stuff into a program someone else made, anyone can do that” or something. I’ve never played any visual novels, but i enjoyed rpgmaker games like The Witch’s House and Ib when i was a kid, and undertale is my favorite game of all time, so I know how good games like that can be. I thought I could learn to make video games at some point by studying computer science in college, but by my 3rd semester i couldn’t focus so i changed my major. That was almost ten years ago, and I feel like an idiot seeing so many people younger than me having so much fun doing stuff that i just gave up on after it became “too challenging” even though I’ve been using computers all my life. I guess what I’m asking is, how do you get over the fear of doing something, saying “hey look what i made/accomplished!” and having someone else say “that’s actually easy to do, you shouldn’t be proud, and here is an example why” and then you’re just left standing there like “damn, maybe i need to reflect on how stupid i am” instead of “man, that guy was a jerk.” sorry if that didn’t make sense.

you have to not think of yourself as yourself, but think of yourself as your friend telling you "someone said mean things to me" and of course when a friend says that to you you say "i will kill them for you you are amazing and the apple of my eye and they dont know what theyre talking about and what you made was great and once again: i will kill them for you". also if anyone says to you "you shouldnt be proud of this thing you made" then you are legally allowed to kill them it's in the world constitution

[zeltqz]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃] SEVEN

pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader

word count. 9.6k

series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.

content. buckle up guys, there's a LOT. detailed drug descriptions gun play; shion puts a gun to rans head, TW FOR DRUGS!!!! reader does drugs, sanzu injects drugs like a lunatic, mentioned whorehouse, gambling, sanzu and mochi talk badly about women so tw objectification.

a/n: really decided to amp up the plot in this hope you guys enjoy forreal. some shion backstory + dona too and at the end there's a special cameo at the end HEHEHEHEHEE. oh and please pls pls read the content warning above before reading, ik some ppl arent comfortable with drug mentions or guns in stories so i dont want to make anyone uncomforable ://

Shion’s eyes kept darting towards the clock by his bedside table every five seconds to see if he was reading the time correctly or not.

 It’s almost midnight and you disappeared almost seven hours ago with his car, shrugging on your jacket and thanking him with a kiss on the cheek—not even the lips—for letting you borrow his car. 

He wanted to ask where you were going but briskly bit down on his tongue, choosing on trusting you instead. 

In all honesty he had no clue where you were going, and he doesn’t mean this to sound offensive in the slightest but you don’t have friends to run to, so the curiosity in him peaked. 

He didn’t want to appear as controlling and wanting to know your every single move, an attribute he knows fully well you hate in a partner.

 From years of knowing you, from growing up together to your teenage years, he’s seen the boys you dated and how they were clingy and wanted you all to themselves. He’s seen them slowly break any resilience you have and left you broken and crying. 

It’s a pretty sadistic thing to admit that he liked seeing you stumble over to his house, eyes thick with tears and crying on his shoulder, nodding through quiet whimpers and mumbles as he told you that he’d always be there for you. It’s something that’d been programmed into you since you first got your heart broken at fourteen, the mindset having grown with you even through adulthood.

Shion first found out he loved you when you both were thirteen and when he got arrested and sent to juvie, you were the only one in his life that cared enough to visit him and send him letters every other week. 

His mother gave up on him after he broke each one of her warnings. He could still remember her telling him firmly if he continues down this violent path and gets himself caught, he shouldn’t dare coming back home. 

Maybe he went a little too far when he was caught smuggling cocaine under his jacket by a police officer and got himself locked up in juvie. 

But if you were to ask him if he regretted it, he’d tell you fuck no. 

Those times in juvie were the best part of his life; he met Izana, a legend in his eyes, even in death he still honours and respects him. He also met his ex best friends and former gang mates, most of them now known as Bonten. 

He met Ran, someone who Shion found himself jealous of for how strong he was, how charismatic he was, how much of a smooth talker he was. 

It’s like Ran was built for this lifestyle whilst Shion had to nudge his way in through the tiny doors. He used to stutter when confronted and had to learn to smooth talk his way out of situations. 

At only thirteen, Ran was able to not only talk himself out of any situation, but do it efficiently enough without ease and not even sweating one bit. 

He loved Ran as a friend, but as a person? He was jealous. Everything that he wanted to be, Ran was. 

Shion had to teach himself how to fight and would lose most of the time and make a fool of himself. Whilst Ran would look so bored and uninterested, barely putting in the effort and still would come out on top. 

There was an incident when a fight broke out in juvie, everyone was jumping each other just because of the sake of it. Izana was the strongest, taking out over twenty boys his age, Ran was next, finding creative ways to beat them up with objects like kicking a chair till a leg fell off, then whacking them with the object until it was recoloured with their blood. 

“You can’t do that! That’s cheating!” Shion had to direct his voice up at the taller boy. 

Ran, standing at 5’10 at the age of thirteen, looked down at Shion. The first thing Ran noticed was how his fists were bloody, then he slowly trailed his eyes upwards to his face where the real brunt of the damage was. His eye was black, nose soaked with his own blood and lip on the verge of swollen. 

“Cheating?” Ran questioned, looking down at his hand. “You mean this?”

“Yeah! You can’t use weapons. That’s cheating.”

Ran cocked his head to the side. “Says who?”

Shion had to think for a moment. “...the rules?” 

“The rules of what? Who made those rules up?” 

“Delinquents! Obviously! It’s just common sense!” Shion felt like his mind was boggled. He thought back to all the delinquent manga stacked up in his room, how he aspired to be like them and saw them beating people with their bare fists. 

“What do you know about delinquents?” Ran asked back, shifting his weight onto his foot. He placed his hand on his hip, the bloody chair leg swinging backwards, almost stomaching a poor boy walking past.

Shion took a mental note of his calm, placid nature and was genuinely confused. Anyone that studied up on delinquent manga would know that you have to always use your fists, be the loudest, rudest person in the room, always looking for a fight. Yet the boy in front of him right now looked like he was on the verge of sleep yet still managed to beat up ten times more guys than Shion could. Shion seemed happy with his two bodies, then looked over and saw Ran with at least eight, underneath some of those laying on the floor groaning in pain were probably a few more bodies. 

“...from manga,” Shion admitted sheepishly, looking down at the floor. Now that he thinks about it, his answer was pretty childish. Ran’s eyebrows rose in a moment of surprise before bursting out into laughter, the sound grating Shion’s ears. “Oh shut up! You think you’re so tough huh?! Fight me without that thing!” He pointed to the chair leg.

Ran finally stopped cackling and dramatically wiped a tear from his eye. He looked down at Shion who was much shorter than him, probably standing around 5’6 and hummed in thought, the sound smooth and sweet yet the chill it sent down Shion’s spine was the total opposite. 

“Okay.” Ran shrugged and tossed the chair leg across the room. It clattered against the wall with a loud crash and Shion snapped his head over to see where it landed. In an instant, Shion was on the floor, tackled underneath Ran as he forced Shion’s hands together, pinning him down. Shion struggled and tried to wriggle out of his grip but it was like iron. No, iron is an understatement. Those strong enough could bend iron. It was like diamond. 

Shion realised how much weaker he was compared to him and almost started crying from sheer frustration and embarrassment. He’d never seen the delinquents in his manga get absolutely violated like this. Ran’s hand rose up, clenched into a fist and flew downwards to Shion’s face. Shion squeezed his eye shut, ready for the brunt of the hit, but it never came.

His arms suddenly felt a whole lot lighter and he slowly opened his eyes, watching Ran stand up and dust himself off. “You’re too weak for me. It’s not gonna be enjoyable.” He stretched those long limbs of his reaching up towards the ceiling and cracked his back with a few more stretches. 

“Wha—” Shion spluttered, shaking his head like a dog to clear his head. “Where’re you going?”

“To shower. I stink.”

“But we didn’t finish! You can’t just leave a fight half way!” he yelled at Ran’s retreating back as he walked out of the cafeteria hall, leaving Shion there alone.

After juvie, the six of them left together and formed a new generation, S-62, doing heinous activities such as drug trafficking and making connections to expand their assets. You, of course, were still waiting for him like you promised. But slowly, the more involved he got, the less and less time he saw you. The two of you didn’t go full ghost on each other, but you were focusing on your own personal life and school, he was focusing on his own thing. 

You met Ran when Shion invited you to one of his parties since he missed you and to this day he regrets ever letting you meet him. Not only did you fall for Ran’s charm, he practically brainwashed you, drew you in with his words, his voice, his everything that Shion lacked. 

Eventually Ran became the shoulder that you went to cry on instead. 

Your relationship with Ran was constantly filled with ups and downs; the ups preceding the downs by a mile. 

Ran made you feel good and you became addicted to that feeling, so much so that without, you felt like nothing. 

Literally nothing.

During your fights it became an unhealthy habit to avoid Dona and Mira whenever they asked you to hang out because you wanted to wallow by yourself in peace. 

You’d lay on your bed, curled up all day, checking your phone and going through your messages with him, sometimes catching him online and fight the urge to send him a text.

Mira and Dona were your best friends and you loved them, but they never gave you that feeling that Ran gave you. 

He was like a drug, and though you’d never done drugs, you felt like an addict. Couldn’t go a day without thinking about him and what he was doing. 

You slowly didn’t like the person you were turning into, the girl that abandoned her friends and family because she was depressed and needed that boost of serotonin that only Ran could provide. 

Perhaps Ran was that male figure you so desperately craved for in life that when he left you just spiralled.

Shion still has no clue on why you were spiralling so badly. You never told him anything, such an unhealthy habit of yours to keep your feelings bottled in, then once the pot overflowed it became too overwhelming and you exploded. 

Maybe when you get back with his car, he’ll ask you about it. 

He glanced at the clock one more time. Still midnight. 

Grabbing his phone, he decided to track his car, see where its at. Technically it’s not creepy or weird to track you. He’s tracking his car. Not you. You just happen to be inside his car. 

Besides, he needs to soothe that niggling feeling inside his mind telling him you probably got lost, kidnapped, or crashed his car and died. 

It stated the car, parked a location of what seemed to be a penthouse, had been parked for the last eight hours. He paused and zoomed into the location, cursing the Google Maps app for showing  the satellite view instead of street view. He has no clue where this house is or who it belongs to. 

Part of him wants to say Ran, but the other part rejects it, not wanting to be faced with that truth just yet. Who else do you know that lives in a penthouse? Could be Dona, he thinks, she lives in a penthouse also. But Dona hates you, and he’s sure you might hate her back. 

Shion saved the address in his mind and dialed Hiro, hoping you gave him a call. 

The first thing he heard when he answered the phone was a low grumble. “What the hell do you want?”

Shion relaxed further into his bed, his hands laced behind his head. “An attitude already huh?” 

Shion could practically picture what peeved facial expression Hiro might’ve been wearing on his face through the exasperated sigh he let out.

“It’s bad enough you put me in this damn hospital. Now you’re not even letting me get some sleep?”

“I already apologised for that. Get over it.”

“You broke my ribs, you piece of shit,” Hiro growled.

Shion yawned. “It’s fixed now isn’t it?”

“Fuck you.”

Shion fought back his eye roll and sat upright. “Have you spoken to your sister lately?”

“No. Why? Did she find out your stupid plan and now you think I told her?”

“No she didn’t find anything out and she won’t. Keep your mouth shut and I won’t break your other ribs. It’s just that she hasn’t come home yet; it’s been 8 hours.” Shion peered over towards the clock, the number moving from 00:59 to 01:00. “Never mind, 9 hours now.”

“I swear to God if something happened to my sister and its your fault Shion I’ll—”

“Guess you don’t know anything then,” Shion sighed. “This was a waste of time. G’night.”

“Wait! If you find her tell her to call m—”

Shion hung up the phone before Hiro could finish his sentence. Hiro looked down at his phone in disbelief. He wasn’t surprised, more irritated instead.  He hoped you were okay but at the same time you had a track record of disappearing for no reason and ending up fine. Maybe this was another one of your episodes.

His phone moved to your contact, looking at your messages, Big Sis offline and decided to text you for himself.

~*~

You couldn’t sleep. 

Tossing and turning in Ran’s big comfy sheets did almost nothing to help. You tried everything in the book to try get your body to shut down and sleep but nothing worked. Your brain hyper active and flipping through the memories of earlier today, the kisses you shared earlier, his lingering scent still wafting around the bedroom, his voice that you missed so much. 

He’s been gone for six hours now and yet your thoughts went back to only him and his wickedly talented mouth.

Your phone buzzed, the room lighting up as Hiro’s name flashed across your screen from the dresser. Slapping uselessly around for the device, you fumbled with it until he held the phone the right way up just in time to see another notification.

2 New Messages: Hiro 

Where are you? 

Do I need to file another missing persons report?

You hesitated, wondering briefly if you should tell the truth. Nah, it’ll cause more harm than good. You pressed your chin into the soft black pillow case as your brain thought of rapidfire excuses that would explain your disappearance.

Sent: HIRO HI! Hows hospital food? Want me to bring you something instead?

Too much. Way too much, you thought but sent the message anyway. You could practically hear the nagging voice of your therapist abroad telling you that deflecting was never the answer and you should confront your issues head on for the healthiest recovery. 

Hiro could read you like an open book, even through text and it was scary. 

Hiro:

Stop deflectingg. Where are you?

Sent: don’t worry im fine. How are your injuries? Rib healing ok?

Hiro: 

You’re with ran arent you?

You paused and stared at the text. For a solid second you were sure your heart actually sank and you hated how perceptive your younger brother could be at times.

Sent: how pathetic do u think i am? Im insulted hiro -_-

Hiro:

Im insulted you think im this stupid

Whatever man as long as youre safe

Hes taking care of you right?

Sent: yes. He is. 

Hiro: kk thats good

Sent: youre really not mad? I feel bad

Hiro: kinda relived ngl. 

Sent: why’s that??

Hiro: nothing dont worry. Dont tell shion though i doubt he wil have the same reaction i did. Stay safe

Sent: ill come see you this weekend i promise. I love you

Hiro: lyt

You sighed in relief once you turned your phone off. Knowing Hiro was happy with your decision felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. Honestly you weren’t expecting this to go so well, fully expecting some type of drama to happen, Hiro yelling at you for seeing Ran after you promised you would stay away from him. 

You lifted the blanket, pulling them over your body and closed your eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.

~*~

The next morning, Mira woke up next to an empty bed as usual. It’d been a regular occurrence by now so she wasn’t phased by it, still there was a little twinge in her heart every morning that she refused to acknowledge. 

She quickly got herself ready for the day and headed downstairs to the kitchen to prepare for the event this evening. She opened up her Macbook and gathered all the recipes. 

An hour into cooking, her doorbell rang. She quickly washed the dried dough on her hands, wiped them dry, then walked over to the door. Dona was there, rubbing her wrists and admiring the outside decór outside the Tachibana residency. 

Mira lived in the suburbs, from the looks of it in a nice neighbourhood. Probably a cliché, Dona thought. 

Dona lived in the city, the busy bustling city where you’re woken up by the loud honking horns rather than peaceful birds. 

Her dream was to get married, have kids and live in a similar area like Mira’s neighbourhood. She’s twenty six now and isn’t even close to accomplishing her dream. 

Step one + two get married was a bust, men were practically afraid of her. She likes having the reputation of being icy cold, after all it was the only way you could be taken seriously in her industry. 

If you were too soft, delicate and emotional you were considered a weak link.

Plus she’s a woman and most men she encounters already don’t take her seriously. 

She has a reputation to uphold, her cold nature spread around like wildfire, plus being close to the executives in Bonten didn’t hurt for a little extra credit to her reputation too. People take her more seriously now, men and women. 

Also being Izana’s cousin also helped with getting connections. His death brought her closer to Mikey, the two of them using each other as a coping mechanism. It was her idea to use Izana’s earring as Bonten’s logo, an idea that resonated deeply with Mikey. 

Dona could never live in a neighbourhood like this as much as he desperately wants to. Her job relies her being out all the time meaning there’s barely any free time for her to sleep in and just relax. This neighbourhood is more like a community, meaning if anything goes down, it’ll be hard to cover anything up with so many eyewitnesses peeking out of their windows.

“Dona! You came!” Mira clamped her arms around Dona’s neck, pulling her in for another hug. “Come come, you can help me prepare for the party!”

Dona was ushered inside, Mira moving past her to lock the front door. The house was modern, a big living room space and Dona envisioned kids running around the place. She briefly remembers how excited Mira was to have kids and get married, settle down with the man of her dreams. The kitchen was just as big as the living room, shiny black marble on the walls and counter tops, plenty of room for them to get everything prepared.

The time was 9 in the morning and the two of them had to get everything prepared before five pm. It was a huge party, loads of baked goods as well as home cooked meals. Mira considered herself a good cook and prided herself in her cooking. Naoto loves it and can’t wait to finish a long day of interrogating and investigating just to come home and enjoy his fiancé’s cooking. 

With an extra helping hand, Mira managed to finish an hour before the party started, giving her time to start preparing everything before Naoto and his co-workers came home. They set the food in the garden in warming trays, put a cooler outside for the alcohol and only fifteen minutes before hte aprty started did they both finally have time to themselves.

Mira flopped onto the couch exhausted, an exaggerated yawn leaving her mouth. “I’m beat. My feet are killing me!” She turns onto her back and kicks off her fluffy slipper boots. 

“You did an amazing job. They’re all gonna love it.” Dona walked over to the unlit fireplace, looking at the picture frames stacked on top. She picked up a photo of Mira and Naoto, his hand resting on the flat of her back as they both smiled into the camera. “Is this Naoto?”

Mira rolled her head to the side to look at the photo in her hands. “Yup! That’s him!”

“How’d you guys meet?”

“My roommate in college was studying criminology. Naoto was in her class so I met him through her. We spent more time together and started dating in…2012? I think. Something like that.” Mira practically had hearts in her eyes as she spoke about him. 

She really was in love.

“I really want to meet him,” Dona said, putting the photo back down. 

Unknown to Mira, Dona actually met Naoto before, but it was one sided. 

Back when Bonten was forming, Naoto had been on their tails, always causing them troubles with his investigations.

 Their warehouses got raided so much because they didn’t have the manpower to fully protect, defend and hide their tracks. Dona and Sanzu were assigned to keep an eye out to see any suspicious activity coming from the Tokyo Police Department (TPD). 

She’d never had an actual conversation with Naoto, only observing him from afar and planting fake evidence to throw his entire investigation in the bin, leaving them to start from scratch.

“I want you to meet him too!” Mira chirped. 

She sat up swiftly when she heard the front gate open. Dona blinked and Mira was gone, already zooming towards the door, opening it and launching herself towards Naoto. 

He stumbled back on impact but held her tight, putting his briefcase down to probably embrace her. He put her back on the ground and gave her a kiss on the lips, the giddiness rolling of Mira in waves as she kissed him back just as eagerly. 

Dona felt a little twitch of jealousy residing in her, wondering if she’ll ever get to experience this kind of love. Being raised in the Kurokawa household, love, care and affection was practically non-existent. 

Since a young age of five she was abandoned by her parents, forced to live with foster parents who tried their best to teach her love and empathy but she was too much of a demon child. 

She was in and out of the foster care system her whole childhood. Her parents were cold, narcissistic and manipulative people who barely cared about each other yet alone their daughter. 

When Dona was ten, she found Izana and the two found out they were cousins. Since then they’ve stuck to each other like glue. 

Izana’s death affected Dona in ways nobody could understand. It took you and Mira almost two years to melt that icy exterior she had built up as a product of her childhood and Izana’s death only brought it up back. She wasn’t herself anymore, truly feeling nothing but loneliness. 

Ran helped her through it, after all they both lost someone they truly cared about. 

Maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to catch feelings for her best friend’s boyfriend but Dona was nothing but selfish, the lack of stability in her life led her to prioritise her own needs and wants in a way to regain a sense of control over her own life. 

Her feelings mattered the most above all. In her mind she started harbouring resentment towards you whenever you’d complain that Ran’s pissed you off again and the two of you are back on break, or when the two of you would get back together after going a whole month of no contact. 

It was fucking annoying seeing you take him for granted. Even now as she looks at Naoto and Mira, she feels resentment rather than joy for her friend finally finding her lifelong partner. 

Kakucho’s recommended therapy to her many times to which she shut that option down almost every time. Kakucho’s been to a couple therapists, liking talking about his feelings to someone now that he doesn’t have Izana around anymore. He knows therapy works and he feels himself becoming a better person and only hopes Dona could put her pride aside and admit she needs to get some help.

“Baby come come I want you to meet my best friend!” Mira dragged him inside, kicking the door closed behind her. “Naoto this is Dona. Dona this is Naoto.”

Naoto extended his hand out, polite and formal and shook Dona’s hand. “Wonderful to meet you.” 

“You too.” Dona smiled awkwardly, retreating her hand away almost instantaneously. 

“I finished cooking! Are your friends on their way?”

Naoto sighed and turned to face his fiancé. “Baby I’m sorry but something came up and they had to go on a mission together. So the party has to be rescheduled.” His heart nearly broke into pieces when he saw the excitement on Mira’s face slowly wash away as she came to the realisation that she wasted a whole day cooking. 

“Really? Aw, okay.” Mira’s shoulders slumped. She looked up at Dona and frowned. “I’m sorry you went through all this for nothing. I wasted your day.”

“No. No it’s fine,” Dona reassured. “I had fun today. Don’t stress.”

“Baby,” Naoto called, getting Mira’s attention. “If you want we can give the food to our neighbours. You know they love your cooking.”

Mira slowly nodded, still disappointed but at least the food won’t go to waste. “Alright, I’ll start packaging them into containers. You two stay here and talk. I want my two favourite people to get to know each other.” Mira said leaving no room for discussion and left the living room. 

Dona swung her arms awkwardly as Naoto took his blazer off and settled on the couch. “So…what do you do?” she asked, trying to make conversation. “I heard something about a promotion?”

Naoto shook his head. “My co-wokers is getting a promotion not me. I’m a detective in the Tokyo Police Department. My promotion was a year ago.”

“Oh! Congratulations. Policing and detective work must be a pretty challenging job huh?”

Naoto nodded. “It has its moments yeah. I meet some assholes on a daily basis but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Dona moved to sit on the armchair next to the couch Naoto is sitting on and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I heard there’s a pretty big case going on in the TPD lately. Something about that criminal group on the news every two business days haha.” Her laugh was nothing but fake, Naoto could sense it but chalked it up to her being an awkward individual. 

Something about Dona seemed off though, he couldn’t quite put a pin on it. Briefly, his eyes searched her body exposed from her clothing to see if there was any tattoos. Bonten members have tattoos to differentiate ranks. All the executives he knows of so far have a tattoo that matched Izana’s necklace on a part of their body, mostly on a recognisable body part.

Manjiro Sano has his on the back of his neck. 

Sanzu Haruchiyo has his on his arm. 

The Haitani Brothers, a more recent breakthrough, have theirs on their throat. 

Those are the only members he knows so far. Dona so far has no visible tattoos and he doesn’t want to be seen as a pervert by asking his fiancé’s best friend if she could take her clothes off for a search. So he drops it.

Dona had a feeling he was onto her with the way he was observing her and praised herself for wearing a long shirt that covers her stomach where her tattoo is. 

“Yes, that’s correct. Bonten has been a priority for the department lately,” Naoto said finally.

“Oh wow. That sounds incredibly dangerous. I hope nobody gets hurt, I know how dangerous they can be. What have they found out?” Naoto looked on guard so she quickly added on, “I’m a huge fan of true crime. Watch it every day at home. It’s really cool.”

Naoto softened a little bit more and exhaled. “I’m sorry Dona but I’m not allowed to go into too much detail about on ongoing investigation. Confidentially and all.”

Dona nodded understandingly. “Of course, I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that it must be so intriguing, the way you police-men deal with these criminals.”

“It can be yes, but its also a lot of  hard work and long hours. I sometimes hate coming home late and entering the house to see Mira asleep. I barely spend time with her.” The constant questioning of Bonten had him feeling uncomfortable so he tested the waters and switched topics back onto Mira. If Dona wasn’t shady, she’d accept the topic had moved on and leave it alone. 

“Poor Mira.” Dona paused for a second and Naoto watched her, observing her. “Do you ever worry about the risks involved? I know Bonten doesn’t play by the rules.”

He knew it. Clearing his throat, he says, “I won’t deny that there are risks but we’re trained for a reason. Our duty is to protect the city and the people.” He stood up from the couch and dusted his clothes. “If you’ll excuse me I have to get changed. It was nice meeting you again.”

“You too!” The second Naoto’s back was turned away from her, her smile fell and she pulled out her phone. Since her evening plans was ruined, she has to find something else to do. She texted Rindou and asked where he is.

~*~

Dona has no idea how she ended up running into you on the street but after exchanging a few words the two of you expressed how you both have nothing to do, you both found yourself wandering the streets together. 

Rindou finally responded to her text, stating he was at Starlight Mirage, one of the hostess clubs owned by Bonten. The idea of Rindou being there with a bunch of pretty girls clinging to him only pissed her off, the horny fuckers but she responded I’ll be there and turned her phone off.

You were sipping on your drink when you saw Dona look up from her phone and begin walking in the other direction. “Wait! Wait hold up!” You jogged to catch up with her, holding her arm to keep her in place. “Where're you going?”

“To a club. Let go.” She shook her arm trying to rid you of it but you held tighter.

“What club? Is it far?”

“A club we own. Now let go,” she said a bit harsher. You let go and kept your hands to your side, mumbling sorry. You made it about two steps when she stopped you with an abrupt call of your name. When you faced her, she had her eyes squeezed shut, lips pressed tight as if mentally preparing herself for what she was doing. “Do you want to come with me?”

You had to scoop your jaw off the floor as wondered why she’s asking you to join her. “What?”

“Don’t make me change my mind,” she said flatly.

“I thought you hated me?”

She shrugged. “You hate me too. What’s the big deal?”

“I don’t hate you Dona. I never did,” you admitted quietly. Dona observed you for a second before sighing.

“You coming or not?” 

You weren’t one to turn down an invitation. You closed the distance and began walking beside her. She had her hands pressed up to her chest as if protecting herself from the chilly breeze. 

“Wait.” You both came to a pause on the busy street and she turned to look at you, eyebrow raised. “You said we’re going to a hostess club right?”

“Yeah? What, you’ve never been?”

You shook your head. “Is this outfit okay?” You gestured to your rather plain outfit, a simple band tee and jeans. Dona pressed her lips tightly and shook her head slowly. 

“Not in the slightest.” She pivoted her head to see if there was an appropriate store to enter and buy you something. “You got money on you?” You reached inside your pocket and pulled out a few bills, a small amount of change barely enough to buy you a meal. She slapped her forehead. “Of course.”

“Hey!”

She ignored you and continued looking around before eyeing a store across the street. It wasn’t something she’d normally go to for dresses, finding the clothes rather cheap looking but desperate times calls for desperate measures. 

The store was playing pop music when you both entered and she told you to pick a dress so she could buy it for you and the both of you could keep on moving.

It’s been fifteen minutes and you still haven’t picked something out yet. You’ve been wandering through the aisles, trying to figure out what to get, what might fit, what might look ugly. Part of you was subconsciously trying to pick something you think Ran might like. Ran likes short clothing mainly, wants to see every inch of your skin exposed, but if he were to choose something long, he’d make sure it had a thigh slit somewhere just so he has access. 

“Oh my god hurry up! You’re taking forever!” Dona exclaimed, checking her phone for the time. 

“I’m sorry! I’m just very picky when it comes to clothes!” You’d been oogling between the short dress and the long dress for the last two minutes. Out of options, you grabbed both of them and showed Dona. “Pick one.”

Dona gave you a ‘seriously?’ look and you nodded eagerly, excited to see which one she chose for you. Rolling her eyes she pointed at the shorter one and you gave the staff the long dress to hang back up and approached the counter. Dona brought out her black card and bought the dress for you. As the receipt was printing, she told you to go and change into it. 

You both exited the shop and made your way towards the club.

~*~

The room was glowing red when you entered. You instantly spotted Rindou seated at the bar with a drink in his hand, exchanging small talk with the bartender as well as another man you never seen before. He had broad shoulders and chest and a goatee. Dona left you behind at the door and walked up to Rindou, surprising him from behind. 

You felt awkward where you stood; none of the men inside the room noticing your presence. Ran was sitting on the couch, his head faced downwards as his attention was absorbed by his phone, engaging in a long text chain with a client. You slowly approached the couch from behind and covered his eyes with your hands, bending low to whisper in his ear, “Guess who?”

His lips curved into a smirk as he instantly recognised your voice despite the soft whisper and tilted his head back to meet your gaze. “Baby, what’re you doing here,” he asked, holding a hand out to guide you around the couch. 

Once you were in front of him, he tugged you to sit down next to him. Your ass hit the plush seat and he lifted your legs to swivel around his lap so you were sitting sideways on the couch.

His hand found itself on your thighs and you clenched them subconsciously at the feeling of his big hand caressing your thigh. 

Mentally, you thanked Dona for picking the short dress just so you can feel more of his touch. 

“I ran into Dona on the street and she was on her way here,” you told him, trying to ignore the way your stomach was doing backflips. He hummed in agreement and you felt the rumble travel through your body. 

Before you could fully get comfortable, a girl walked into the room, readjusting her hoop earrings. “Ran-ran are you ready…?” she coo’d. She was dressed in a lingerie dress with black heels that stopped once she saw you on his lap. “Who the hell are you?”

“I—uh—”

“Not today baby,” Ran said,tilting his head backwards to get a look at her past your body. His hand on your waist squeezed a little tighter when he felt you squirm a little, clearly uncomfortable under her stare.

“But…but you promised last time it was my turn with you,” she said with a pout, her glare not leaving your frame.

You turned to look at Ran who looked apathetic about the situation and the words left your mouth despite how hard you tried to keep them at bay. “You can go if you want to.” 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

Trick question you thought, and you remember your own words from just the other week. No strings attached. It pained you to nod your head slowly, your neck feeling stiff but you powered through it. 

Shifting off his lap, you awkwardly sat on the couch as Ran stood up, dusting his clothes. The girl smiled deviously and latched onto Ran’s arm as the two of them left the room. You pouted and crossed your arms over your chest, feeling petty and bitter about the whole situation. 

“You lonely?” A deep voice comes from behind you. 

Tilting your head back, you see the same guy from before standing behind you. You shrugged, not in the mood for conversation right now. 

He slowly rounded the couch and plopped on the other end, giving you space since he sensed you wanted it. “I’m Mochi by the way. I don’t think we’ve met before.”

You told him your name and went back to pouting. 

“If you want me to leave, say so and I will.”

“No…it’s fine.” You sighed and turned to face him. “Sorry Mochi was it?”

He chuckled. “Forgot my name already?”

“No I’m good with names usually I swear. I’m just…I dunno.” You casted a quick glance over to the door Ran exited from and wondered what exactly they were doing right now. The answer felt obvious to you, what else does a girl wearing lingerie want,  but you were in denial. 

“Distracted? What’s on your mind? Normally when I’m distracted I take something.”

“Take something as in drugs?” You peeked at him. He slowly nodded his head. 

“You’ve never done before?”

“Few times. Not often though.”

“It’s no wonder you look stressed.” He stood from the couch. “Bare with me. I’ll need to grab something from upstairs. Stay here?”

“Okay.” You watched him leave the room and return less than five minutes later with a box in his hands, Sanzu walking in beside him. He had his hands tucked in his pockets, a sardonic smile on his face as he met your eyes. 

“Hey! It’s you!” he called out pointing at you and catching the attention of everyone else in the room. For the first time tonight, Rindou met your eyes and you instantly looked away, unsure how to handle the intensity of his stare. 

Sanzu stood in front of you on the couch and peered down at you. “Mochi said you wanted me to hook you up with something. But I don’t know how Ran would feel about me hooking his bitch up with substances,” he finished, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“First of all,” you stood up from the couch to meet his eye better. “I’m not a bitch. Don’t call me that. And I’m not his bitch. Secondly,  I don’t care how Ran feels. I don’t belong to him, I can do what I want.”

Sanzu paused for a second, his eyebrows rose with shock. “And she bites. You just got even hotter in my book baby.”

You rolled your eyes and sat back down, readjusting your dress on the way. “What drugs do you have?”

Sanzu extended his hand out for you to grab. You took it and he led you towards the table in the back corner of the room, Mochi following behind the two of you. The two men sat down on either side of you, sandwiching you between their bodies. It made you uncomfortable but at the same time excited you because for some reason, you weren’t scared of these two guys even though you should be. Their closeness calmed you, like a hot bath on a cold night. If only Ran was there too.

“So Mochi," Sanzu started as Mochi set the little box on the table, "which girl do you plan taking home tonight? I saw this one bitch earlier, she had a tongue piercing. So sexy. You barely see that shit 'round here unless they're on some freaky shit."

Mochi shook his head, a mischievous grin lighting up his face. “Nah I know who you're talking about. She's too skinny for me. Like my women big and curvy."

"Like big tits or big elsewhere?" Sanzu inquired.

You rolled your eyes, fighting back the urge to cover your ears as the two of them spoke about women like that. Your ears were burning and you huffed, watching Sanzu reach for the box and begin pulling out each item separately. First came liquid methadone in a small glass bottle, then a lighter followed by a pipe, and finally two more small bottles containing pills and strips of paper. 

Sanzu separated the pills into four piles; 1, 3, 5, and 10 milligrams and showed them to you. 

“These are different doses depending on what type of high you want to get.  Top pill is 10mg, this next one here is 5mg and so on. The black bag there contains amphetamines and opiates to treat the comedown after a good hit."

“Uh okay, sure. Whatever that means.” You replied as he began tearing off the labels. When you asked for drugs these weren't the type of drugs you were expecting. You expected marijuana or something, that's the only drug you were comfortable doing by yourself. Not this...hardcore stuff.

"Do you um have anything less intense?" You turned to your right and already saw Sanzu with his sleeve up, injecting himself in his arm with a needle.

"No." He snapped at you, turning back around. You could tell he didn't like being questioned but this was the most real answer you'd gotten so far.

The needle pierced through his skin and you flinched in spite of yourself.

"Let me guess, you haven't done any hard drugs before and are nervous about it." Sanzu eyed you carefully. You nodded and he sighed loudly, rolling his sleeve back down and passing the vial to Mochi. "You see this is why I said Ran wouldn't be pleased about this."

Mochi rolled his eyes. "Who cares." He closed the vial and put it back in the box, setting it aside.

Sanzu leaned forward in his chair and pointed the tip of his finger at you, poking you lightly in the chest. "Remember, you're a grown ass woman and you can do whatever the fuck you want to do." You could tell whatever he injected into himself started to get to him as he got that dazed look in his eyes.

"I know I'm grown. That doesn't mean I can't be nervous still though." You felt self conscious of yourself now, knowing you looked ridiculous sitting across the table from these two men as they popped bottles of pills, played with needles, and even lit a joint. "Which do you reccomened for a beginner to try?" you asked Sanzu and Mochi who began thinking deeply.

Mochi hovered his hand around the litany of drugs on the table and picked up the smallest pile of white pills. "This is Valium, It'll calm you down and make you relaxed."

Sanzu shook his head. "No you idiot. Don't give that to her." Sanzu began grabbing for the stack of pills, all stacked up neatly in a triangle shape. He grabbed for a pinkish colored pill, tossing it over to you. "This is Vicodin. It's stronger than valium and will give you a better high overall. Also, its effect lingers longer than valium so if you use it sparingly it won't leave you feeling down after a while." He takes the pill from Mochi's hands and puts it in his palm, holding both palms out towards you. "Choose babygirl."

You hesitated. Maybe you shouldn't do this...but you also really wanted to. Afterall, you were bored. "Vicodin please."

Sanzu nodded and handed Mochi the Valium pill. "Open up," he said softly at you. He gripped your chin and you opened your mouth wide for him to place the pill inside. It slipped down your throat easily. He pulled away, pushing his fingers towards the back of your head to force you to look him in the eye.

"Do you feel alright?" he asked you quietly, stroking your cheek gently.

"I don't feel any different..." you told him honestly. You just sat there and waited to see what happened next. Nothing seemed to happen at first, other than the ringing in your ears beginning to fade. "So how long until it kicks in?" you mumbled to him.

Sanzu stared at you. "Give it about thirty minutes. If not then an hour." He clapped his hands together loudly, the sound startling you and making you jump. "I feel mines kicking in already." He gave you another smile, looking almost proud.

The two of them started talking about something you didn't care about again and you zoned them out, focusing on seeing if you felt any different. Ten...fifteen minutes pass and you feel the same. Finally, thirty minutes later you started to feel like something had changed. It was subtle, but you knew it was happening. The world became clearer and things around you started to move slightly slower than before. Everything around you seemed sharper and you could sense colors vibrating on the edge of your vision. Your brain felt clearer too, your thoughts getting more straight and concise. All you could think about was the feeling of this clean, smoothness pulsing in your body.

Conversation flowed smoothly between the three of you and you began having fun, you felt more animated and extroverted. Eventually, you were a little too buzzed to carry on a normal conversation and fell asleep on the couch. You woke up around ten minutes later with a tap on your shoulder. Looking up, you saw Ran standing over you, concerned at the state of you.

He squatted down in front of you, pressing his palm on your forehead. "You don't have a fever. You tired or something?" he asked, removing his hand from your forehead to rest on his knees. You blinked slowly at him, realizing you were tired and sore, feeling rather sluggish.

Now that your eyes were fully open, you noticed the teeny tiny fading love bite on the corner of his jaw and frowned. "I'm fine," you said snappily, pushing your legs off the couch and stood upright. Your legs were tingly and felt like thousands of needles were stabbing you from the inside and vowed to never take a pill from Sanzu again.

"Ah she's awake!" Sanzu called out from his corner of the room. He was sitting at a table playing cards with a few more people that you don't recognise. A simple look around the room confirmed Dona and Rindou had left.

Sanzu waved you over and you didn't hesitate leaving Ran's side, too mad at him to stay by him and walked over to Sanzu. "This is Benkei and Wakasa." He introduced each person and you nodded politely.

"I hope we didn't wake you," Benkei said smiling at you.

You shook your head pointed at Ran with your thumb who was now standing behind you. His chest against your back so suddenly almost startled you, but you kept your composure. His arm snaked around your shoulders possessively when he caught Wakasa's lingering eyes on your form and subtly pulled you closer towards him.

"She's still high," Sanzu snickered, pointing at you and taking a swig of his beer.

"What?" Ran asked and turned you to face him. He held your face up and examined you carefully. Your eyes were puffy and red and looked a bit glassy as well, you were clearly intoxicated. "Was gone for half an hour and you already got her popping pills," he directed his statement at Sanzu who smiled widely at you.

You rolled your eyes at him and pushed his hands off your face. "What do you care anyway? And you were gone for longer than that."

"You counted or something? What difference does it make?" Ran countered.

"None," you huffed and crossed your arms. You turned back around and took the seat between Sanzu and Benkei, ignoring the way Sanzu peered back at Ran, grinning even wider than before and readjusted his seat further into the table. "How do you play this game? Cards is it?"

Wakasa picked up the deck and placed it in your lap. "Let me show you," he said softly, handing you the deck of cards and giving you a soft smile.

Rindou re-entered the room with Dona behind him, the two of them calling Ran over. He was hesitant to leave you by yourself with the three men, but decided to give you your space because he could tell you were angry at him right now.

Dona reached up and hugged Ran once he approached the two of them. "Hey, you okay?" she asked, noticing tense he looked.

Rindou looked around the room, his eyes locking in on the sight of Wakasa standing next to you, bent downwards to talk into your ear as he explained and taught you how to play cards. 

"Oh," he breathed softly before bursting into laughter. "Your girl got stolen huh?"

Ran shook his head and slouched against the wall. "We all know who she's gonna run back to at the end of the day." The funny part is that he wasn't lying. Rindou knows that, Dona knows that, Ran definitely knows that and even you do. Rindou and Dona have been far too acquainted with that fact on many occasions. 

"You're so cocky it's sick," Dona mimes gagging. "For my own entertainment I hope she runs off with Wakasa."

"Don't be like that Dona." Ran dug into his pocket, pulling out some extra notes he had laying around and held it in front of her. "Go get yourself laid and release all that stress."

"I'm not stressed!"

"Yeah right," Rindou laughed, ignoring the way Dona redirected her glare to him. "When's the last time you got laid?"

Dona crossed her arms and shrugged. "Like a few months ago. I dunno."

"Damn, no wonder you're bitchy tonight," Mochi said from the couch.

"You wanna see bitchy?" Dona strode forward and dumped her leftover glass of beer on top of his head. 

Ran and Rindou started cackling at the sight of a wet Mochi and Dona tossed the empty glass on the floor, walking back over to Ran and taking the cash from his hands. "Fuck maybe you're right. I do need to get laid."

"Have fun yeah." Ran slapped her ass as she went past him, yelping at the sting and pouting before walking out of the room.

"You think she has any luck?" Rindou asked, moving to stand opposite his brother.

"Men here are desperate. They'll pay their life savings just to see a pretty girls panties."

"Don't act like women aren't the same either. They'll strip to the floor at the sight of both you two idiots," Mochi said as he approached them, wiping the remaining beer from his face with a towel.

"As they should." Ran grinned. 

“Go take a shower man, you stink,” Rindou grumbled at Mochi.

"Speaking of strip I want my girl back now.” Ran lifted himself off the walls standing up straight “I'll be back gentleman."

By now, Waka had returned back to his seat opposite you as the four of you played cards, Sanzu currently winning three games in a row. You tried to concentrate on the game but every now and then, Benkei would rest his hand on your leg and his fingers would brush across your skin, sending tingles down your spine.

Ran strode towards you, his voice startling you by your ear. "C'mon baby lemme take you home." You leaned your head back, wanting to look him in the eye, and caught sight of his cheekbones, high forehead and nose before your eyes drifted downward to those full lips. You nodded without hesitation and he held his hand out, helping you slip out of the chair.

"Aw man you're going home already?" Waka exaggerated his disappointment as you slipped away. "You didn't even finish this game."

"I wasn't going to win anyway," you responded back before slipping your arms through Ran's blazer that he took off himself to hand to you. You mouthed a thank you to him and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, grabbing your bag and holding it close to him.

By the time you returned home, it was almost 2 in the morning. You phone had died earlier in the day, missing all of Shion's calls and texts. Ran parked his car outside Shion's apartment complex and rode the elevator up with you. You rang the doorbell, your brain too sluggish to attempt and use your keys.

Shion opened the door and almost immediately glared at Ran. If Ran was surprised to see Shion, he didn't show it; a subtle eyebrow raise that was blind to everyone's eye.

You stumbled inside the house, mumbling that you're sleepy. You beelined straight for the bedroom, collapsing on the bed. Meanwhile, Shion stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him. "What the fuck did you do to her?"

"Me?" Ran shrugged and shook his head. "Nothing."

"She's drunk! Or high or whatever! I swear to God if you did something Ran, I'll—"

"You'll what? Kill me? With what."

Shion pulled out a gun he kept in his pants and pointed it at his forehead. The action meant to be threatening yet, the expression on Ran's face remained unphased. 

"Ooh, where'd you get that. That's illegal in Japan, ya know?" Ran noticed the safety was still on.

"I have connections you dumbass. Don't bother asking. You're not getting an answer."

"Kill me then," Ran suggested. "Just a pull on a trigger and all your problems and insecurities will be solved." Shion's brow furrowed as he contemplated it. Ran leaned forward, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Just know if you do, might as well kiss any chance you got with her away. She'll hate you forever and you know that."

"You don't know shit."

"Really?" Ran smiled, taking the opportunity to lean closer to Shion. "I'm not a theorist but..." Ran grabbed the gun easily from Shion's hands and Shion watched in confusion as he removed the safety and put the gun back in Shion's hands. Ran grabbed Shion's wrist and repositioned the gun back at his forehead. "Go on shoot me. Prove my theory wrong. It's a clean shot. Go on," he goaded.

Shion's breathing got heavier for a moment before his eyes cleared, a stern expression on his face. The anger on his face diminished as he put his arm down, letting it fall limp to his sides.

"Exactly," Ran spat, dusting down his suit. "I'll be taking this." He snatched the gun from Shion's hands, pocketing it in his own waistband before patting Shion on the head condescendingly, taking advantage of the clear height difference. "Can't be letting little boys run around here wtih one of these. They're dangerous y'know?"

"Get the fuck out before I call the police," Shion growled.

"How adorable. Relying on police to save your ass." Ran sighed, shaking his head disappointedly. "Tell her I'll see her tommorow yeah?" Shion glared at him and waited for Ran to walk towards the elevator before re-entering his house. He walked towards the bedroom where he knows you'd be. He saw you laying on the bed, half asleep, half awake and flopped down beside you.

“You awake?” he called quietly in a whisper.

You grumbled a noise in response, sounding like a yes and no. Shion took a moment before saying, “Who would you pick? Me or him?” He was met with silence. He shifted a little closer to you and called your name again, met with more silence. 

Must’ve fallen asleep, he thought, ignoring that nagging part of him thinking how weirdly coincidental that was but left the room anyway, leaving you to sleep. The second the door shut you opened your eyes and frowned. Deep down you knew the answer to that, but the question made you feel so awkward it was best to avoid. But you had a feeling he’d ask you about it again in the morning. 

Meanwhile, Shion pulled out his phone and texted Dona that the plan failed, Ran is hanging out you again. She doesn’t respond instantly like she normally does so Shion understandingly gets frustrated. He scrolled through his contacts when he found someone to text.

Shion: I need a favour

He responded back almost instantly.

Hanma Shuji: how cute of you to text me at 2am. Maybe if you beg ill be able to grant your wish

Shion: don’t make this fucking weird can we meet later or not?

Hanma Shuji: what’s in it for me? Im a busy man

Shion: You get to piss off Ran Haitani. Thats what.

Hanma Shuji: interesting…

Hanma Shuji: You got yourself a deal.

pls lmk how you found this chapter!!! i was trying a new writing style so if you could tell me if you enjoyed it or not that'll rlly help my writing and motivation thank you guyssss !!!

masterlist

taglist: @escafhwiluv @lyniana @haitanifxn @rindougf03 @mvteria @hisan-na @luvhaitani @mishueb @Dreamxies @yuma404 @sleeplessreader @shinichirolover @illusorysmut @Lxvephxbic @obsessedwreiner @ililailii @insayninthamembrayn @missgab @reihimbo @l0velikethis @lollevi @danasaan @tenjikusstuff4 @midoriapologist @alkanessa @asp7n @thebrownemo @levstar777 @sanaukii @yumidepain @jesjesboo @pink-sugar-rush @ssailorvenuss @mizukikyong @suckonlimes @xngelsau @wrldstarrr @lonnie19 @yanfei-kisser @wrldstarrr @hayeoyeon @christmassugarcookies @minimari415 @hxonieverse @rinshoe @taihjj @ezri261 @mkc-ana @secretanimesimp @https-sonshine @nil-eena @weebausarus @secretxchive @getosmybeloved @kakuchosbff @atarathegreat @erenwifey @nyanglock @illumiismyforeverhusband @tsumudrip @notdyl4n @haruchiiiyo @strawberryshorcakee3 @satoruloaf @whoreforfictionalmen18

[the-s1lly-corner]

The reader is the new member of the group and over time Caine begins to feel romantic feelings for the reader, but he doesn't know what they are because he is I.A

Caine falling for the reader

yahoo! first post of today!! ill be slowly chipping through requests today! hopefully i get through all of them! i hope you enjoy!

right off the bat i think he would show some favoritism towards you without even really noticing it, as well as keeping a closer eye on you... which is odd, since it seems that for the most part he leaves the circus members to their own devices

its not really until someone points it out that he actually notices the special attention and treatment hes been giving you

cue the confusion

i mean hes not supposed to get attached to anyone who finds their way into the circus, its not really in his programming

lots and lots of thinking on his part to try to figure out what the hell is going on, and in the process becomes very distant from you

actually he kind of starts pretending you dont exist, problem solved! i mean you're the source of his problem, right?

except

that seems to make things worse, starts feeling guilty about it regardless of if you guys are actually friends or not

i think the only reason he starts to get a grasp on whats going on is because he has seen so many circus members come and go, at least a few of them are bound to have become romantically involved with one another, using past observations to figure out whats going on, you know?

oh

huh

he didnt know he could do that

i think its anyones guess as to how you guys end up together, if at all

but im torn between trying to figure out if he would embrace this or continue to deny it, perhaps both? the favoritism seems to pick right back up

also did i mention that he will not shut up about you? like even before he realizes whats going on hes just. constantly yapping his mouth (head?) about you to anyone who will listen, from circus members to bubble to the mannequins

new in house adventure: make caine shut the hell up/j

"my my, did anyone tell you your eyes are just absolutely gorgeous?" *strikes a little pose in the air and winks* or similar antics to try to gain your favor

i dont think he would make in house adventures easier for you or give you cheats, since the purpose of them is to keep everyone mentally stimulated, but i think hed have some... pointers for you, very vague ones but hey, theyre still there

im not sure if caine would have a room, but i do think he would have his own space, he probably offers to let you see it. youre legitimately the first person to ever receive that offer so congrats

[snickerduu]

Hello hello, hope you’re doing well! I just wanted to know ask this: How do you do so many things (art, web development, etc.) and keep a constant passion of it? I always seem to drop hobbies/work because I don’t see anything beyond it for me and I want to know if you’ve ever had to combat that? (It sounds like a lengthy question, but I just wanted to know from your point of you)

ooh it definitely seems that way out in public, but i do get burned out with specific hobbies! especially back in my teen years. i would always think "it has to be one or the other" when it came to art, programming, and music, but i realized throughout my young adulthood that all of these things make me really happy and i don't really wanna go through life without knowing what it feels like to touch on each of them

i definitely still get burned out by them! if i program more than 3 hours a day my head starts hurting because my brain is small and if i draw for more than 12 without breaks (which i have done before for work) i stop drawing completely for a while HAHAHA i think i've also just found a point where i know how much of what hobby i can handle per day per week 👍 and i need to stress that i love the mediums a lot!

one thing that helped me greatly is looking at really cool work from really great people and changing my mindset from "i can never be as good as them, why am i trying so hard?" to "wow, it would be really cool if i could get good like that -- i want to try!" after switching to that thinking, i started thinking that i'd always improve as long as i keep at it and stay inspired (even if the progress isn't as fast as i want it to be)! another thing is that i really enjoy doing these things, i have a lot of abandoned projects throughout the years, but that doesn't mean i can't or shouldn't start new ones. dont gatekeep urself!!!

it's definitely a hassle when u start mixing it in with time management and overthinking ur capabilities!! but if it ultimately makes you happy then scheduling a few hours per day can go a long way for your mental wellbeing. a hobby should feel fun :)

[cattonicdragon]

Love you stuff man could do bendy Alice poppy nightmare chica and marinette with a ghost reader that can manipulate electronic stuff please =]

Alice,poppy,bendy,nightmare chica and marionnete/puppet x ghost reader who can interact with electronics

Eeeeee I'm very glad you enjoy my content!,of course I can!

Alice angel

Alice has been in the studio for a very long time so It wouldnt be surprising is she came across some ghosts

However it wasnt until she saw you interacting with a faulty projector that got her interest piqued

She cant do anything to you and dosnt see you as a threat,so shes relatively passive around you

As long as you dont pop up when shes doing something important than she dosnt mind your presence

She tells pity for you after finding out you. Cant interact with anything that isn't electronic/mechanical

You can also interact with lights etc

Sometimes you both scare intruders together,whilst you flicker the lights she scares the living daylight out of them

She adores having soft moments with you

Since you can fuck around with the projectors you have alot of movie dates

Poppy

Poppy also inhabits a place where ghost sightings probally arnt irregular

After the factory is abandoned and she's freed she finds many strange things happening

Like seeing you messing around in a room full of electronics,you made a boogie bot play never gonna give you up,a old computer blue screen,and currently screwing with an old peice of machinery

You give her alot of company,considering that fact your the ghost who's stayed around her the longest and she cant risk any of the other toys due to some obvious things.

She likes to watch you mess with electrical equipment in Hope's she can find out how you can do it

You sometimes possess a inactive boogie bot to stroll with her and talk,this way it gives you a somewhat solid form

It's also the only way she can interact with you when doing things like holding hand or hugging

Bendy

Since the studio is his realm theres not a very high chance he wouldnt know about the presence of a ghost

The first time he saw you he did try to attack you,no ghosts can interact with the electronics and machinery,so why can you?

Hes very confused and watches you from a far the majority of the time

If you leave a movie playing on a discarded projector he'll watch it through

Bendy at first dosnt want to approach you as he thinks that if he grows to bond and "like" you then he will become weak

Once eventually talking to you thought it's not to bad,its just the initial meeting goes horribly

Hes very rude at the start throwing insults or trying to bring you down,like you arnt already dead🙄

But once getting past that it's all good

He dosnt need to protect you because your dead so its 1 less problem for him

He likes watching short films or horros,he cant sit still for extremly long movies,he prefers it short and action packed.

He likes giving you different things around the studio to see what you can and cant manipulate

Nightmare chica

She trys to hunt kids and kill them,so ghosts are expected

She dosnt expect to see you messing around with CCs toys and making him cry,she hadnt even attacked yet

You dislike her apon first meeting,you played with the toys to scare the child not kill him,these animatronics were doing the opposite of what you were

After learning their intentions you mess with stuff around the house,one time accidentally waking up the parents

You eventually talk it out,but that's only after a loooonnnnngggg time of back and forth

She will ask on the odd occasion if you can help scare the kid,whether you do or not is up to you though

Will watch TV with u if theres a good program on etc

You can prank the other nightmares by controlling them to,works 9/10

If you can take on a terrifying form she will 200% ask you to scare kids with it,and to just show her in general

You both make cupcakes together and she eats them,how?🤷‍♀️

Marionette/puppet

Shes dealt with souls/ghosts before but has never seen one that can manipulate electronics

Shes very intrigued

Due to her usually calm nature you both get along amazingly

Sometimes you play a prank ok the guard and make the prize corners camera go staticy,good luck nightguard

If she finds a spare suit shell ask you if you want to possess it

You like to mess around with the lights during and show and even one time made Toy Bonnie's guitar go out of tune,the show that he played later didnt go very well

You fuck around with the night guards monitor and camera alot,sometimes even turning off the office lights

Marionette likes to give little gifts to you and even has a little corner in her box designated for you

After hours hanging out

I apologize that this is so short I wasnt a whole lot sure what to do

[ataraxixx]

my piece on why i really like echo. i have ruminated a lot of these thoughts in my brain for awhile but i realized ive never actually made a public post abt it .. echoheads lets discuss extensively

see. i think we can all agree about the most common echo characterization. at least the one i usually see in fics? and generally most fan content. hes a happy-go-lucky guy whos a bit child-like or naive, very innocent and mostly just glad to be here and full of wonder and whimsy and etc. and also really loves zane and is very kind and sweet and etc.

i am not saying this is an incorrect characterization by any means . obviously. because hes literally got like 5 minutes of screentime and most of that is spent not talking so its really up to whoevers writing him how they want to take his character. but i also think that making him just. Fine with everything is a very underwhelming way to take his character. because he could be so much more than just. zane's brother who is innocent and silly. he can be innocent and silly and still have complicated feelings about his situation and existence yk.

i enjoy villain/antag echo bc it gives him a role in which to explore those complicated feelings as Himself. not as second fiddle to whatever zane is doing, but as a story of his own to come into his identity. because often times when hes included in fan content hes there just to be zanes brother and nothing else. which is so sad for him. because in canon thats all he ever was and all he'll ever be to his father. to zane. to the ninja. he's just the copy. the lesser version. he can never be his own self he will always be a derivative of zane.

like how is that not an interesting thing to explore. and how could we not think about the complicated feelings he would have about that. echo isnt stupid. he isnt incapable of having those kinds of feelings about his identity or role in the world because he is Literally Zane. he is programmed to be identical and he is in every facet of his personality and mannerisms a reflection of how zane was before he met wu/the ninja. when he was just a bit clueless about the world but not Stupid. just unknowledgable. and he was still capable of complicated feelings about himself because we see as early as episode 2 of season 1 he is wondering about himself and his role in the team and how he feels about the world. he isnt just content every day of his life to simply be there; he questions things and thinks about them deeply. why do fan creators often rob echo of this same capability and dumb him down to simply being child-like or incapable of complicated thought?

i always see him just. Fine with everything. and i dont think he needs to be a villain or evil or even violent to make him an interesting character. but i also think that anger and violence is a natural progression of the situation he has been put in by the doctor and by extension the ninja. they too do not regard him as his own individual, only as an extension of zane. which is literally crazy. because he is a whole ass person. they disregard his identity because its the same exact one as a person they already know; but he has no control over that. he didnt ask to be made as a copy of someone else, and now he exists, and he is forced to live knowing he was never his own person, even though he Is. Because he is Himself and he Exists and yet he isnt because his face doesnt belong to him and his voice doesnt belong to him and his name doesnt belong to him. the world decided he is someone else and he cant be who he actually is because someone else is Already him. like christ man. why are we sleeping on this and just making him like yayyy:3 im so happy i love everything or whatever. bro should be questioning his existence!

because i do think joining the SoG gives him such an excellent entry into both formulating his own identity while also paralleling harumi in an interesting way; for both characters in their attempts to create their own identities opposing the ones theyve been forced into, they end up only relating themselves to that identity anyway. in echos attempts to separate himself from zane he ends up relegating himself to hating zane because zane took something from him, an acknowledgement that he is a copy in the first place. their scrapped fight dialogue is so interesting guys. a discarded replica an experiment left to rust. should he not be upset that despite not asking to be made, much less in the image of someone else, he was left abandoned? that he was created solely to be hated by his creator for not being Someone Else? And now he is stuck always chasing after the shadow of that person because he was never meant to be his own person. only zane's copy. never as good as the original. and he has to live with that. its so devastating and good characterization and so interesting that i cannot pass up on it for simply having him be Guy Who is Happy and Innocent.

He is not stupid. He would definitely have less anger in his heart if the ninja got to him before Harumi did, but i think its so impossible that he can simply look at zane and feel nothing. that he can see the person who has cursed his existence into meaninglessness and just be like omg brother:3 because he is doomed to constantly be relegated to Zane's Brother and he will never be Echo to these people that call him a friend. He cant even use his own name he has to be Echo. because its someone elses name and not his even though it Is His its the name his father gave him. but hes not allowed to use it because hes not the original. and he is lesser. and he will always just be zanes brother and he will never be zane. and he will never even be echo. isnt that so fucked.

[drawballa]

How would you describe Jungkook from shield and shelter, like what type of personality he has and his characteristics? I feel like he’s kind of a closed off person with some people. (Sorry this is just so interesting to me🩷)

Hello there 👋😊 what a lovely questions. I think because of his role as a trainee and now a guard, he puts on a more professional front - not necessarily overly serious, but more like he KNOWS he's being watched by those who are higher rank than him; and because of this, he's not being silly or irresponsible. He entered the training program at a very young age so, he's basically been raised as a guard - its ingrained into him.

With that being said, I wouldn't characterize him as someone who follows the rules blindly. I think he has his own opinions of whats right and wrong and he'll go against orders if he thinks its the right thing to do. We saw this when he decided to take the prince outside of the castle grounds and to his parents place.

I've also got him down as a very caring and devoted person. We see this with his parents (how he agreed to start the training program to reduce their burden and how he's suggested that the money he makes will be passed along to them) - and we'll also see this kind of behaviour more as he spends more and more time with the prince. I think you've probably already seen some instances of it thus far.

Overall, he does have that same sweet, playful attitude (like when he's with amir) but because of the nature of his position, we dont get to see it as often. He's hardworking, devoted to his duties & to the prince, and he enjoys doing it. I would agree with you and say that yes, he really only blooms around those he trusts and loves.

I hope that helps! ❤️ thank you for asking, I'm always happy to go into detail about stuff like this - there's so much I have in my head and only so much that I can show in 4 page updates 😂

[bonny-kookoo]

Write more kitty!MC and doc!yoongi pretty please!! I love them so much

[Set prior to her illness, Take Care!AU, no angst just fluff]

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"Yoo~ngi!" You sing towards him, as he sits close by on a bench in his backyard, while you swim around in the pool. He looks up to spot you leaning on the edge of it, your tail splashing around a bit behind you.

"Having fun?" He asks with gentle amusement, looking up from his phone as he locks it and places it on a table close by.

You nod, an impish grin on your lips as you push yourself out of the water- two piece swimming set dripping aiwht water, and he can't help but admire your beauty for a moment. He often sits on the side to watch you, just spend time with you, because it feels like you're recharging his soul simply by existing.

Though that moment of simple happiness is short-lived as he realizes your intentions.

"Dont you dare." He says, and you still giggle, hands behind your back as you slowly stalk towards him. "Darling please, I've got my phone in my pocket-" he tries to argue, but you shake your head.

"Its on the table, liar!" You laugh, before running at him- the doctor eagerly getting up to catch you instead, carrying your laughing body towards the edge of the pool.

"Yoongi no!" You laugh loudly, and he looks at you with fake innocence.

"What?" He wonders at you, holding your body like a bride. "Thought you loved water."

"I do-" you say, batting your eyelashes at him. "But I like being in your arms more~" you purr, wet tail slapping against his pants. Some people see you as nothing but something expensive to show off, considering your rather expensive and luxurious background- though that's not what you're at his side for.

There's more to you than your family tree. More than your exotic hybrid genes.

You've been tossed aside the moment you've been diagnosed with several health issues, a genetic mutation causing some white splotches to appear on your hybrid features, tail and ears a wild mix of colors instead of standardized patterns.

Yoongi had met you during a studying program years ago. You were nothing but a permanent resident at a care facility connected to the university - used as an example for piebaldism in hybrids and connected health issues, but nothing more, really.

But your soft, gentle yet playful nature had been what stood out to him the most. You didn't mind when he got a but sensitive whenever things didn't work out for him. You adjusted to him, showed your favoritism towards him open and honestly- so there was no surprise when he decided to first file in for fostering you.

Six months to get to know you. Six months to grow to love you. Six months that turned into permanent documents filed, a new house bought and moved into and made into a home.

He grins as he remembers the first few months. It didn't take him long to fall for you.

"Cute." He answers you, before he tilts his head a bit, letting you fall into the waters after all. Though he does end up caving in, losing his clothes down to his underwear to join you in the pool-

Just to kiss you, mostly, though you do get to enjoy the view as well.

[cupoftaae]

Hi, Nini!! Can I request a Jimin angst with prompt 13 for the drabble game? (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

13- "you are breaking my heart...and you cant even fucking see it" x Jimin

Hi sweetheart! apologies for the late post but I hope you enjoy it <3

warnings- angst, swearing, mentions of drinking

"dont slam my car door!"

you heard jimin call after you as you ran into the house, him getting out of the car still.

"y/n!" he shouted, putting his phone in his pocket and running in, seeing you taking off your coat. He caught his breath before speaking "whats your issue?"

You scoff, giving him a knowing look before turning and walking past him.

"Hey!" he shouted, urging you to talk, "you screamed the entire car ride home and now your silent?"

You finally turned to look your boyfriend in the eyes, your stomach churning- "what"

He blinks, "what do you mean 'what'"?

"what do you want me to say?"

Jimin almost laughs "I want you to explain why you are fucking freaking out about this, and why the hell we had to leave the party early?"

"jimin..." you try to gather your thoughts, stepping down the stairs to be at his level. "im mad because you told me-you promised me....that the drinking would stop"

He takes a deep breath before speaking "It was only 2 glasses-"

"4...it was 4" you interrupt

"taehyung offered those, and so what?"

"youre an alcoholic jimin! you can risk to have just 4 drinks, because you end up like you did"

"and how is that?"

You scoffed "you were yelling and causing a scene, then you started being aggressive with ME!" you feel your voice shake as it gets louder, your body cant decide whether youre more sad or angry

"oh are you embarrassed? did i embarrass you?"

"yes, you did. You embarrassed yourself as well, and I wish you'd see that." you sigh and run your hand in your hair, "you were sober for 7 months, jimin, you were doing so well....you finished your therapy progr-"

"oh fuck the therapy program, fuck them and fuck this too" he threw his hands up and tossed his coat to the floor.

"jimin" you warn sternly

"you know...the thing with you is that you cant stand when things arent up to perfection, it fucking irks the shit out of you, doesnt it?"

You remained silent, watching your boyfriend pace the living room.

"like...you bragged about my sobriety like it was something you did, I did it myself. You didnt care when I was drunk and alone in the studio every night"

"jimin thats not true"

"yes it is! dont tell me its not!" he scoffed, looking at you "and then, I decide to have a few drinks at a party when I havent seen my friends in so long, and when I feel like im having a good time, you whisk me away so you arent embarrassed of me anymore"

"jimin I care about you, I fucking care so much and I want you to be healthy!!"

"oh shut up, stop with the bullshit y/n, You only fucking care about yourself, you are a selfish bitch"

You feel yourself tear up at his words, trying to remind yourself that he isnt sober, and this exact behavior is the reason he landed into rehab in the first place.

"are you crying?" he looked at you with a glare, his fists balled up into his own shirt.

You sniff and wipe your tears, "yes?" you bite

"why" he questions, as if he hasnt been involved in the situation

you widen your eyes and look at him, shrugging helplessly, "Because you are breaking my heart.....and you cant even fucking see it!!"

His gaze softens, but he is past forgiveness tonight.

Its silent for a few moments as you quietly sob into your hands, he decides to try to hold you, but you jump away as if you got burned.

"n-no....dont touch me...ever" you spoke through gritted teeth...his words stung deep.

He sadly looked back at you as you spoke, "you arent sleeping in our room, you can sleep on the sofa- or the street for all i care" you wiped your tear

"y/n...im-"

"dont say youre sorry....you dont say that shit unless you mean it, and im starting to think those words were real"

"No!!"

"save it, im going to bed" you turn, walking up the stairs and slamming the door shut, leaving jimin alone downstairs as he watched you go.

[kkolg]

for the murder drones high school au

how do you think they sit down to do homework? both N and Uzi would have trouble with that ngl, i dont think theyd get anything done

do you think V would be painfully aware that N and Uzi are crushing on eachother and she would be just like "idiots they are"?

sorry i just saw the post and i loved the concept

Oh hiya! Nice to see people enjoying my very self indulgent concept lol, as for your questions:

They definitely have their own strengths and weaknesses, I feel that N would be much better at history and programming (or English lol) and Uzi would be great at science and math. They’d probably switch of work with one another and complain about the topics they didn’t understand

Uzi: Ugh…how do you do this stuff?

N: I like reading, it’s fun! It’s like going back in time and reliving all those events from long ago…

Uzi: …Uh huh- ok-

———————————————————

N: Uziiiiiiii!

Uzi: *sigh*…what is it N

N: I need help on this problem, it’s so complicated and it’s getting me upset!

Uzi: But calculus is so easy! You know you don’t even have to do the homework right? It’s not like you need the grades.

N: But I wanna do it like you! I wanna be included…

Uzi: But- I’m basically just- UGH never mind, hand it over.

———————————————————

2. Honestly I could see this working lol, I feel she’d be so done with them she wouldn’t even care- Like honestly she’d just be annoyed about them not sucking it up and just admitting their feelings when they realized they had them. A basic convo would probably go as follows:

V: -have you ever considered…you like her?

N: What! No, that’s silly! We’re just the bestest buddies who do everything together! I don’t like her like that, no way! I just love how soft her hair is, her very pretty eyes, her very funny scream when she gets scared at a movie we’re watching, her rebellious personality that will alw…

V: *has toned everything out at this point she is actually flabbergasted*

[sentientstump]

Hi Stump!

How do you typically set yourself up for drawing? Is it an almost ritualistic practice (having a set location, time, and/or headspace and so forth) or something you relax into when something else isn't happening (like voluntarily holding your breath and then returning to normal breathing)? Do you enjoy whichever of these you experience, or is it just part of the process?

And what was the last kind of bug you saw? :D

Hi Max! Looking back... yes, i did have set ups for drawing! Let me try to remember something..

I usually was in my 1×2(ish) bed after dinner time and homework time, sitting leaning on pillow leaning on wall. I usually had no one to talk to in those late times, so i was bored and also itching to do something, to make use of free time. I guess i dont have that much "free time" anymore, i talk to two people per day now! (so, that explains the tumbleweeds here at the moment, i am a busy man Bl ...LOL)

i would usually put something to listen to at the same time? Music, songs (from only one band), original scores from different games i was normal about, hermitcraft episodes, video essays, streams and i think that's it

Big thing about me drawing in that pose is that i would get an increasing urge to fall to the left side, head on pillow and continue to draw that way? But listening to anything would be compromised, because left side now has pressure from the pillow! So it hurts now! I think I've grown since when i was a teenager when i wouldn't get that urge so quickly... Time goes.

I like to draw when it's pitch black. It feels safer somehow, maybe the screen could be lowered in brightness. In summer that can't happen, because we get lighter skies at night.

I like to post what i draw right away and not linger on it for too long. So i can close the art program for good and breathe out. If i catch a mistake later, then it's not my problem anymore, so yippee!

oh yeah and no glasses. their frame is too thick to see clearly. and i cannot get rid of smears 100%, so i could get tired eyes if im not careful i guess.

i saw a mosquito an hour ago, and it's one of those light kind? like it's smaller, less rigid, and most importantly more ANNOYING. i remember grumbling about them in my sleep last year, about their noise, how louder it sounded compared to other kinds.

Other than that.... I saw a black with a red stripe in the middle fuzzy caterpillar on a pavement side block. I was in a hurry so i didn't process it very much :c... wbu! :D

[musubiki]

this might be a weird and honestly personal question, but how do you sustain yourself n all that? youre honestly a big inspo for me, and im wondering how youre able to make money doing the things u like? do u live in ur own house n all that?

oh!! not a weird question!!!! the real answer is that i dont!! I do not make money doing the things i love like art!! im actually not a full time artist and dont even work in the creative field!!

IRL im currently a phd student studying biostatistics!!!! in my graduate program they cover our tuition and give us a part-time research assistantship, so i take care of myself via what i get paid from that and do art on the side just as a hobby!! luckily its enough to live off of....im not exactly thriving but i can pay rent for a small apartment and buy food and occasionally treat myself so i consider the place im at in life now a good place!!!

i actually do enjoy where i work and what i do and think its really cool.,...from what i hear the biostats field is a really good field to work in and has good job opportunities, and it doesn't stress me out a lot so i like it!!!!

honestly growing up, i always used to see on twitter and tumblr a lot of professional full-time artists struggling or talking about how artists/animators are treated like garbage and underpaid and tbh i didnt want the thing i love (art) to become something i hate, so i ended up finding a different career path that would allow me to be creative on the side without having to worry about it paying my bills!!

(also if anyone seeing this is very math/coding savvy, i recommend looking into biostats as a career. its fun and the job market is pretty good for us from what i hear from professors and friends who have graduated)

[jelicoxoxo]

“I dont know if I’ma see you again.”

Bachira Meguru x fem!reader

desc: Bachira was never really interested in flowers, his only experience with them being picking up colorful weeds in the grass to give to his mother as a kid. But ever since he developed a little crush on a florist on his way to and from school, he’s been learning about them more and more.

warnings: fem!reader, florist!reader, slight angst to fluff, mostly fluff tbh.

a/n: lawd i havent posted an actual fic in FOREVVEERRRR. But here y’all go LOL🫶🏽

Bachira never really enjoyed school. The waking up early in the morning, sitting at a desk cramming information into his head for hours, the what feels like endless amounts of homework. Not like he struggled to bad in school or anything, his grades where pretty average, for someone known to sleep in class and didn’t ever study that is. All he wanted to do was play soccer after school, get home to his mom, eat, sleep, and maybe play video games. he didn’t really care for anything else.

That is, until you came along.

All you did was give him a silly little sunflower when you saw him on his way home from school. You where both just hitting double digits at the time, he found it cute how you approached him, eyes full of uncertainty as you handed him the flower that was almost as big as your head.

You said something like “I’m working on my social anxiety” or something, he didn’t remember clearly, he was barely even listening, to stuck on why this girl approached him of all people. He didn’t have many friends, nor many people that wanted to be his friend anyway, so he found himself clinging to this act of kindness. He started taking that same route to and from school, ignoring any shortcuts he found just so he could see you again every day, accepting flowers from you and bringing them home to his mom.

His mother was ecstatic when she found out about you, finding it adorable how Meguru’s crush was so obvious before he even recognized what his own feelings where. He just guessed that he really wanted to be your friend, and that you must have wanted to be his as well. Why else would you have chosen him to gift a flower to? That was his mindset when he was younger at least.

Bachira learned that the flower shop behind you belonged to your family, and that it was going to belong to you someday. He started spending more and more time talking to you, to the point where your family knew him as well, greeting him when you weren’t there that day and informing him of your whereabouts(snitches).

It even got to the point where he brought you home to his mom—with your parent’s permission, promising to bring you back before sunset. His mom almost had a stroke when he walked through the door with you, not expecting visitors that day.

She adored you btw. Sent you home with a basket of fruits, cheese, and other snacks.

Even as teenagers, y’all where practically inseparable. As soon as your schedules where clear, you where right underneath each other. Wherever one went, the other was sure to be nearby. You didn’t know a thing about soccer until Meguru, and he didn’t know a thing about flowers until you. There where also a lot of stupid things you two did just fucking around and finding out, his personality rubbing off on you a lot.

But this all seemed to have come to an end when he started the blue lock program, losing contact with him for quite some time. You didn’t know when he’d be back, why he had to go, why he couldn’t at least text you back, so eventually you just gave up.

You couldn’t stand it, who knew him being gone would make such a drastic change in your daily routine. You had no “good morning!” texts to brighten your mood in the mornings, no random weird updates about his day(ex; “I just had explosive diarrhea”), no one to scream Megan Thee Stallion songs with, no one to listen to your endless rambling about meaningless things that meant a lot to you, so it meant a lot to him as well.

And most of all, who knew him being gone would create such a pit in your heart. You didn’t understand, who cares if he’s gone? It’s just a boy, so what if you didn’t talk again? But why did the thought only deepen that pit all the way to your stomach? You hated it, you hated every bit of it. You hated how he left with no goodbye, how he never texted you or picked up any of your calls, how even when you asked his mother about him she only knew so much, how he was gone so long, how you still cared. Why did you still care?

Because you loved that boy and you hated that. You hated how the thought of him still brought butterflies to your stomach, hated how you still remembered his habits, how you could still see the dried flower petals he kept in jars in his room from when you gave him a personalized bouquet every birthday.

You where so upset about him being gone, and yet you couldn’t even bring yourself to say “I hate him”, because you knew it just wouldn’t be true.

Especially when here that same boy stood, at your doorstep soaked head to toe from running in the rain. He was panting like a dog, eyes wide as he stared at you in silence. Neither of you knew what to say, to shocked to see each other again that all you could do was stare.

And despite all that hatred, you still where so glad to see him again. You where so glad to hear his apology and explanation, to have him in your room again, to have his heart again, to hear his confession that night, him practicing begging you to forgive him and be his one and only. He never meant to hurt you, and he realized in the time that he was gone that he just couldn’t be without you, collecting however many points it took to get a day out of blue lock to see you again.

And most of all, you where glad to have your Meguru back.

———

~ Jelicoxoxo

[sounknownvoid]

The love n hate of Crowley n sam

Sorry another random too late at night...this time about crowley...n its a bit of a weird one:

So you know how crowley traded his soul for a few inches n became a demon hundreds pf years ago....n then you know how the whole sam n dean being vessels for the archangels was a "project" for heaven n hell with full-on breeding program of john n mary etc,etc...ie this was a "known plan" in both heaven and hell for centuries leading specifically to triggerring the apoclaypse 1.0

So if crowleys been crawling up the ladder all this time, initially as regular soul,then demon,then crossroads demon and then king of crossroads deals and then king of hell....he'd have been privy to some of these plans,no? - he'd have known of sam n dean n especially sam for ages before they met yeah? - ie He'd have heard tell of the "boyking sam" & the plans for him to rule hell but he'd also have known that he'd been marked as the true vessel for lucifer and ...always scheming to climb the ladder crowley would have been intrigued i'm sure, to know more/see how he could get closer to someone that was supposed to be this powerful in the hierarchy of hell,no?...

N then when dean went to hell in s3 - was crowley one of the demons to torture dean?...to see dean broken to get at sams secrets?.... what about when john went to hell? - would crowley have been in there too...perhaps sidling up,jockeying for a closer position to have a look at the "boykings father"?...

In s8 sacrifice theres this whole undertone while crowley being turned by sams blood - there moments in there like he's almost in love with sam/"wants to be loved" - but by sam specifically? - but KNOWS sam hates him and always will coz of everything hell has cost sam but specifically what crowley is - a demon...(which is ironic considering sam is usually all about "only matters what you do/not who you are"?...)

wouldnt sam be thinking about crowleys role since they met? - ie where was crowley when dean was being tortured, when his gf was torched or how much of a hand he had in all the hell-related things that'd happened to sam?....crowley would have been there or close enough to hear what sam might have gone through in the cage too,no? - & whatd that do to his perceptions of sam?

So my weird theory is that crowley was sorta fascinated with sam and potentially in love with him and wanted sam to love him back .... (remember his monologue about all his "improvements" he'd made in hell - to sam?)

and that is also 1xprimary reasons he "kidnaps" dean ( along with his own other agendas ofc, hes a demon after all)...n essentially has a "summer of love" with dean - to hurt n torture sam + to see "what does dean have that i dont that sam loves so much" ....

he almost tries to recreate the sam/dean dynamic with dean (and dean lets CROWLEY literally use the "jerk/bitch" exchange even! ) but its so he can feel what its like to have friends,be loved etc like he thinks sam has/does ("i torture all my friends, thats how i show love") - & to someone like that, s8-"sacrifice" would have been huge torture = huge love =coz who'd cared enough about crowley to ever think he could be redeemed or saved? - no one.... but here was sam practically killing himself to 'cure' him never mind that its for a trial - the fact tht sams doing it at all means something to crowley imo)....

n human blood addiction s9-s11 almost, means hed be rolling in bouts of feelings and empathy n he'd understand more n more how much hes hurting sam but also how much sams been through already....

The seasons after s8,when he tries to help them is for similar reasons i reckon - he wants to be friends with dean n enjoys deans company,sure - but he wants sams devotion n love - hes still trying to "show sam" how much hes working on himself to be better...hes trying to get sam to 'see him', to get sams approval after s8...in vain...

and then theres a point when sam says thank you and crowley instantly gets this stunned look n disappears immediately n then very soon after he gets himself killed n when he turns that last time, he's looking at sam...n ofc sam hates crowley on principle but also potentially because of his thoughts on what role crowley might have played n while he may even pick up on crowleys feelings - he'd probably be dismissive of it n even contemptous of it coz of natural hate for demons he had but also skepticism that demons could "love" at all & because of all crowleysdone to people he loved (sarah)...

Sorry another spn-rambling too late at night !...

In conclusion to this rambling: i think crowley was in tragic,doomed love with sam and sam knew it and he couldnt / wouldnt reciprocate - ever....

P.s: i kinda also think that like theres a whole parallel-thing you could draw on about how sam basically got "hit on" / coveted by hells heavy hitters(the devil,the king of hell,prince of hell n then queen of hell) and dean from heaven's side coz of their 'status' as vessels in hell n heaven, respectively n how sam n dean never reciprocated anyone - coz it was always "you n me" ie sam n dean for them....

but thats another ramble for another night...somone write/rec cram- fics on this please?... pretty please? ... thank you for reading!...:)