#ANYWAY happy big bang yall!!!

[neolxzr]

glass shards of pain and regret

my piece for @enstarsbb!! i got to partner up with the lovely @eternalnightingale nikki and our beta elios for this event and i had so much fun making this piece! please make sure to go check out the fic as well <3

[cupidsdescendant]

Mercs X Sweet Tooth G/N!

Hey yall! It’s been a while since I wrote a short head canon list for the mercs and so I decided to write this! I really have been getting into writing actual one shot stories instead of lists so that’s why my posts have been so slow  ^___^ I’m thinking about making a version of this one for the creepy pasta characters to go back to fanfic roots ;-; anyways, g’day! Mwah XOXOXO

Scout:

-Very happy

-“Oh yeah? What’s your favorite one? Really! Mine too!” He takes out your favorite candy in response 

-You both like staying up at 3 am eating random sweets

-The sugar rush hits both of you SOOOOO hard. Running across the fort, double, fuck it, triple jumping all around and screaming violently.

- You both literally laugh at almost every thing the mercs say even if it’s not funny or relevant and both laugh at each other laughing so hard. Your laughs become even wheezier when you both cannot speak and it’s both of you mumbling and laughing and your mumbling.

-Just as much as the rush gets you the crash hits harder than the market crash of 2008. Both of you are literally so tired you guys can’t even get up. Eyes sore, legs weak, body tired, everything hurts after literally sonic speeding everywhere. You both wake up holding each other or spooning <3.

-Instead of a hot steamy cup of coffee in the morning you wake Scout up by sitting on top of him and feeding him lemon heads and sour gummy bears. 

-You like to throw gummies and candies into his mouth during fights just to play around and it helps with a speed boost 

-Although Scout loves candy his favorite is of course: B o n k 

-And you both drink it religiously! At this point you both have it in an IV put up into your veins. 

-Scout and you have so much fun with candy. You both go to candy stores together and have fun picking out candies and sodas. Once you both get home you guys would eat eat eat, lose your mind and sleep for the rest of the night ^___^

Soldier: 

-He doesn’t eat a lot of sweets, but once you give him one he goes a little crazy 

-Once, you gave him a chocolate bar and he rocket jumped to space and didn’t come back for at least 3 days

-Soldier finds you alone eating a 12 pack of mini cupcakes to yourself and he gasps “Dear god!” 

-“mfwhaht-?” Y/N said mouth full of white cake and frosting. CANNIBALISM!!” He screams pointing at you in horror

-“HoW!?” Y/N yelled out, Soldier ran over and ran his hand on Y/N’s chin “My cupcake is eatin’ a cupcake!”

-He loves a good ol' fashion American Cherry pie

-Coke is his favorite drink

-He mostly enjoys milk chocolate and whoppers

-Always makes sure they're made in America

Pyro:

-you know em, Pyro is a maniac for that typa shit. Way even more than Scout

-Give them a jolly rancher and he'll spend half of the time rolling around in circles laughing and banging his head on the wall

-her brain is already filled with sunshine and rainbows but once you add candy- it's full blown candy land

-they like to make you dance a lot when he's hyper on candy! Always spinning you around and around <3

-He likes hoping around too. He acts kinda like a little bunny ;w;

-Pyro and you basically just run around setting everything on fire without a care in the world

-His favorite candy...? All of em! Lollipops and sour-sweet ones are his favorites.

-They propose to you with a ring pop

Demoman:

-he can handle some sweet things but he's not a big fan

-But when you mix a sugar rushed Y/N with a drunk Demo it's alllllllll chaos.

-You both love doing karaoke when you're out of yall's minds, screaming violently to songs or crying to sad ones

-Probably have a super duper upper crazye rap battle too

-When you both crash you find each other on the other sides of the rooms but when you both wake up you go and cuddle.

-You both try and get sober from your addictions but fail and the next weekend is the same lol

-Like I said, Demo doesn't really like candy. The only ones he'd eat is going to be mixed with alcohol or root beer ones

Heavy:

no comment. these are his favorite

Engineer:

-being from the south, he loves moon pies and other pies in general

-Engi loves maple taffy and whenever it's winter time he makes them with the mercs or just enjoys them by himself

-He loooves taffy and Rocky Road!!

-Pie is also his favorite, Pumpkin pie specifically. He always likes to eat it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream

-All of the sweet things he eats are always warm and relaxing and so you both like to cozy up together and eat together

-Engineer always has to hold you down when you get a little hyper and he has to tell you to relax

-Gets overwhelmed trying to calm you down and eventually gives up but you decided to sit next to him when you can't find him

Medic:

-always warns you about cavities and tells you not to eat so much sweets

-He usually hides the fact that he eats soo much candy.

-Considering Medic is German he eats mostly German candy and chocolates but he's afraid to admit he likes American candies a lot

-He likes to eat sour candies but his taste in things is a lot more "luxury" and so he eats mostly dark chocolate

-Def the kind of guy to say he's not eating chocolate or candy and have stains all over his clothes and mouth

-Medic's manic-ness and your hyper-ness when you're on a sugar rush is. terrifying. Both of you don't stop and you both cannot.

-Both of you go on the most crazy adventures. Once you both woke up with your limbs detached and the other time you guy's switched bodies

Sniper:

-Sniper doesn't eat sweets. periodt.

-He usually just watches you go coo coo through his rifle and chuckles to himself

-even though he doesn't eat anything sweet he think it's so cute that you love sweets so much

-He goes out his way to always buy you candy when he has the time and his favorite part is holding it while you chomp into it

-Once he saw you eating oreos and he called you cookie monster and you didn't know how to feel

-He's very neutral with everything tbh..

-You always try to convince him to eat it but he just can't do it

-So he'll eat something savory while you eat something sweet so he can interact and hang out with you

Spy:

-He loves chocolate croissants...okay sorry for the french joke lmao

-seriously though he's french! France has the most bomb fucking sweets and desserts ever

-He loves Macarons, Éclairs, Profiterole and crepes

-He also really loves to tell you the history of those desserts and loves sharing his culture with you!!! <3

-He tries to calm you down whenever you have a sugar rush and usually forces you to sit down and eat desserts while he reads to you

-Loves to wipe off the cream or frosting off your face and say some horny french bullshit

-You alwaysssss beg Spy to make French pastries and he reluctantly agrees

-You both spend hours in the kitchen making food together and flirting. It's a really cute moment.

-During breaks or lunch you both eat your pastries together <333

okay so it's been a while since I posted. Hey yall! Hope you like this one <3 stay cute! Mwah xoxoxo

[mrs-munson]

Hey everyone so I’m feel like writing but don’t really know what to write so request if you have any ideas!! Anyway- 🤪🖕

Summary: you and your bf (Eddie)go skinny dipping. You are very surprised by who meets you there.

Warnings: swearing, some sexual stuff?

Yall literally trying to seduce eachother-

“Baby when is your uncle leaving??” You ask Eddie while you lay down on his bed. Eddie sits beside you, and replies. “He should be leaving soon, plus we don’t have to wait he doesn’t give a shit.” Eddie laughs at his own comment and turns around to look at you. “Really?” You ask, and sit up on your elbows. “Yeah baby.” Eddie smiles and starts to tickle you. He lifts you up and into his lap. Eddie’s uncle walks in while you both are smiling and laughing. “Uh.. I’m heading to work.” He leaves the room, leaving the door open. “We’re going skinning dipping at loves lake is that okay?” Eddie asks, leading you out of the room and over to his uncle. “Yeah- have fun. Just- use protection please.” Eddie laughs while his uncle opens the door. “No kids before you graduate please!” Eddie’s uncle says in a serious tone. Eddie lifts you up and places you so your chests touch and you aren’t facing Mr. Munson anymore. You wrap you arms around his neck and legs around his waist. You turn your body around as much as you can and smile sweetly at Mr. Munson. He smiles back and you say, “thanks Mr. Munson!” “For what hun?” “Letting me stay over all the time.” “Oh that’s just Eddie. He won’t take shit from me- you know em.” You laugh and reply, “okay well have fun at work then!” “I’ll try.” Eddie’s uncle makes his way out of the door and closes it behind him. As soon as it’s closed you turn around to face Eddie and he’s got a big grin on his face. He’s all jumpy and playful. He has that look on his face again, so you know he’s going to run. You shoot that look back at him and he turns around and sprints. You bury your face into his neck and close your eyes, while Eddie holds the back of your head and your butt just to make sure he doesn’t accidentally bang your head on something. Once he reaches his room, he runs over to his bed and tries to drop you but your clinging on to him. He laughs and you look at him confused, and ask “what’s so funny?” He moves his hands in front of you and grins. “No hands” “haha very funny” you let go of him as he leans over the bed, and you drop onto the mattress.

Eventually you both decide to go to lovers lake, and get into the car. On the way Eddie keeps his hand on your inner thigh. You arrive to lovers lake after a short drive and walk over to the water with Eddie. You had both seen each other naked multiple times before so you weren’t worried about anything. Eddie immediately pulls his shirt off and you just wait and stare at him. You can see his happy trail which makes you wanna run over and tackle him. Once he’s dropped his shirt onto the rocks that were placed around the lake, he notices you staring. You had been only staring at his lover half and didn’t see his face. He smiles at you and walked over to you. You were so caught up in that happy trail and your thoughts that you didn’t even comprehend what was happening. He reached you and looks down at you since he’s a lot taller. “You staring at something?” Eddie speaks in a quiet and low tone. You snap out of it and realize you were still staring at his happy trail. You look up at him and stutter, “oh- uh- n-nothing.” You hesitate, and break eye contact with him. You had been dating him for awhile and he still managed to make you nervous. He grabbed your waist and pulled you as close to him as he could. He tilted your chin up to look at him and whispered, “nothing, huh?” He grinned and broke away just as you leaned in. He jogged back over to the rocks and started to undress his bottom half. “ASSHOLE!” You yell playfully at Eddie. You both giggle a little and Eddie takes his stuff off. He’s slow with it, he knows You’re watching him and he’s teasing you with it. Once he’s down just his boxers, he watches you as he takes them off. Your jaw drops to the floor and it stays there as he walks over to the lake and steps in. “ooooOoo it’s cold” Eddie says, and turns back to look at you. When he sees your mouth is still open and you haven’t moved, he starts giggling and staring at you. “Two can play at that game.” You say, the most lust in your voice. You slowly pull your shirt up and over your head and throw it over to the rocks. You bend down, taking your shorts off and stare straight at him when you do it. “Oh no- no no no no- stop.” Eddie says a little playfully. “Huh? What do you mean?” You ask playfully as well. You take your bra off and Eddie’s draw drops. You then take your underwear off as slowly as you can. “Stop.” Eddie says, smile fading. You throw your underwear over with the rest of the clothes and stand with your hands on your hips. “Okay come here.” Eddie says with open arms. “I think I’m okay here actually.” You say. “Come here.” “Hm… no.” “Im dead serious get over here.” “Why?” “So I can have my way with you. I’ll come over and get you if I have to.” Eddie says. You laugh and start walking over to the water. You get in and walk out over to Eddie. “Finally” Eddie says, grinning. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you close to him. For a while you sit with your hands wrapped around his neck and legs around his waist, like you had done many times before. You talked and made out, but that got boring. You guys started messing around and you both jumped in, Eddie threw you in, you were just having fun. But that didn’t last.

You were next to Eddie, Eddie was facing the rocks and you, and you were facing him and the rest of the lake. You were both laughing at something that happened with the jocks later, some prank Eddie pulled at school, until Eddie suddenly stopped laughing. You stopped laughing when you saw his expression. He was staring and something behind you, so you turn around to see what it was. “SHIT!” You say. It’s dustin, Mike, Lucas, and max. You can hear Eddie moving in the water behind you, he walks behind you and covers your tits with his hands. Eddie shields you. Everyone turns around as you both make your way to shore, but Dustin. “HENDERSON.” Eddie snaps. “WhaAt” “you wanna see it?!” Eddie motions to his bottom half which is in the water. “No..” he turns around. As you both get out of the water you walk over to the group and say, “it’s BIG” Eddie laughs but everyone else thinks it’s gross. “Cmon man-“ “why-“ “oh- gross-“ “get a room” you giggle and walk confidently over to your clothes. Once your dressed in Eddie’s shirt and your underwear, and Eddie’s wearing pants, you start to moan. “WHATS GOING ON BACK THERE??” Dustin yells. “Teasing” you reply. “You guys can turn around now.” Eddie says. While he says that he comes up behind you and hugs you from behind. He kisses your neck and rocks you back and forth a little. “What“ Dustin says. “Back off Henderson we’re having a moment” Eddie says quickly. Eddie turns you to face him and lowers his voice. “Baby. What are you doing? You aren’t wearing pants sweetheart?” You shake your head and smile. “Hm. I guess I’m going to have to Carry you back? Cant have anyone seeing anything.” You nod. He smiles and kisses your forehead. His tone is back to normal and he asks, “wait your wearing my hellfire shirt- do a spin for me sweetheart.” He takes your hand and you giggle a big and twirl. Once your facing him again he picks you up and places you in that position once again, with your legs around his waist. He laughs and starts to walk to the car. “UH- DID YOU FORGET ABOUT US??” Dustin yells. “What about you?!” Eddie asks “WE NEED A RIDE!” Eddie motions that they can have a ride with his hand and we all get in. You and Eddie are obviously in the front, and everyone else is in the back. Eddie and you keep having little moments where you two keep laughing because Eddie’s being sneaky. Eddie loves that your in his car and that your only in underwear. You get the picture. “So where do I drop you all off?” Eddie asks. “Um- maybe like- mikes house?” Max answers. “Mkaaayyy” Eddie says back. You arrive at mikes house and everyone gets out. You yell goodbye from inside the car and Eddie drives off. “So…” Eddie says. “Sooo……” you say. “What do you wanna do?” Eddie says, moving his hand up your inner thigh.” “Oh I don’t know..” you say. Eddie drives to his trailer and you both get high. You both yk until your numb and you you fall asleep in his arms. :)

I hope y’all liked this! It took kinda awhile but ya so uh- bye. Love ya😜🖕 ❤️🎸

Love, Mrs Munson.

[robynngaeblack]

Welcome to the Snape Fic Rec of the day

Before yall ask, no this is not a frequent thing, I'm just doing this because the fic I read was literally beautiful and I hate myself for finishing it quickly.

Anyways, without further ado, lemme show you what's the fic.

Title: Falling Apart by Zain

Status: Ongoing

Ratings: 9.5/10

Review:

The reason it's 9.5 is because of the spacing but that's more of me problem tbh, yall still would enjoy it.

One of my favourite genres is Time-travel, it's a fun concept to explore and read and this writer nailed it and sent me to heaven with a big smile and a loud bang.

The way they wrote Snape is so real and relatable that it made me want to hate them. I love how they wrote the characters in this fic and it just warms my heart how each step made Snape gain a new friend, or ally, as Snape would never admit his relationship with the people.

And also, Avery? He's such a baby???? I can't stress enough how much I love this Avery so fucking much, I'm crying.

The fic is just so funny, and have that side of angst that you'd love and that adventure you so crave for. And now, if you excuse me, I'm just gonna reread this fic once more because I've fallen in love with it.

And whoever this writer is, just know I will sell my soul just for you and your happiness

Of course, here's the link to the fic if yall are interested!

[jinyoungs-hipsdontlie]

TAEYANG WAS SO FREAKING CLOSE OH MY GOD 2ND ROW SEATS WERE SO GOOD

[fwkei]

How can you be so warm in a place so cold?

Izana x reader (fluff-angst) 

WC: 3.3k

CW/TW: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of abuse, mentions of drugs, mentions of blood. 

AN: made this take place right before the battle between Toman and Tenjiku, No spoilers. Explanation at the end of the story just incase you dont understand 

hey guys, thanks so much on the support/feedback on my last work. I appreciate it sm, and thank you for 5 followers 🥳 love yall fr. ANYWAYS, heres something i just made I hope you enjoy, and again i did not proof read this so I apologize for any mistakes, enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“....Do you remember it?”

He felt his body go cold….cold like that one night..That one night when he met you. 

The air felt sharp against the skin on your face. But this feeling comforted you in a way. Although it wasn't much, you looked forward to this part of your day, where you could just think and not worry for a couple of hours. 

You fisted your hands inside your pockets to create some sort of friction and warmth. You nuzzled your chin and mouth under your thick zipped up jacket that was a little too big on you when the park you always come to came into view. 

You looked down at your feet when suddenly you heard the squeak of a moving chain, you looked up. To see a boy sitting on one of the swings, slightly swaying back and forth. 

Your eyes softened at the sadden look on his face, and so you sat on the swing right next to him, taking your hands out of your pocket to hold onto the cold chains. He looked down at his dangled feet, and you only looked out into the scenery, debating on what you should say to the young boy.

He was small but still a little bigger than you. His skin was tan and had light pale hair. He seemed upset, maybe even angry. You hadn't even noticed that your gaze completely turned to him. You saw his hands that were resting on his thighs, moving up to grip the chains of the swing as he looked over at you with his cat-like irises. His eyes, they captivated you. They were a color you had never seen before. A lavender. A really soft and beautiful lavender. 

You two held eye contact for a good two minutes. When one of you suddenly decided to speak. 

“What are you doing out here this late?” he asked in a slightly irritated tone still keeping eye contact with you 

“I’m waiting for my mom to finish with work..” you said looking back out 

“Then why don’t you just go home. You shouldn't be out here.” he said swaying a bit

“But..I’m always out here, and I don't consider that place a home.” you said swaying with him on your swing 

You saw anger and frustration fill the boy's eyes. His eyebrows furrowed, and grip tightened on the chains as he looked at you with hate.

“Do you realize how spoiled you sound? You have a mom and a house. That you can go home to whenever you want. And you’re wanted! There's no reason for you to be out here and act like you’re miserable! Just go away!” he yelled at you 

He expected you to cry, frown, get angry, give at least some sort of reaction, and it angered him that his words didn't bother you. Your eyes still softly looked into his. Eyes with a hint of pity. It angered him even more. Just as he was about to speak and yell again. He gritted his teeth and stopped himself when he saw you look down. 

“That's not it..at all.” you said watching your feet dangle over the thin layer of snow 

“Then what is it?” he asked jumping out of his swing and standing in front of yours 

“Why do you want to know?” you asked looking up slightly at him making his breath hitch in confusion 

“Because..” he said getting quiet and realizing his outburst was rude

“What is your name?” you asked, stepping out of your seat to stand in front of him face to face, him only a few centimeters taller than you. 

“I..Izana..” he said finally getting a good and close look into your eyes 

He felt his eyes soften. He felt pity. He felt bad. He now knew he was wrong about you, everything he assumed was completely wrong. Izana could see the hurt in your eyes, he could tell you were going through a lot, and you could tell the same with him. He backed away slightly once he saw you smile.

He felt his heartbeat stop for a moment seeing it. How could you smile right now? Why would you smile right now? After his hurtful words...After what you were going through at home..why?

“My name is Y/n. I’m 10.” you said holding out your hand to the boy with a shocked face 

“10 too..” he said slowly, bringing his hand to grasp yours..

He felt his body warm up and mouth part. Your hand was warm, so warm and soft despite the cold air and chains that touched you. It confused him.

 How can you be so warm in a place so cold, Y/n? 

Izana thought to himself.

“Your hands are cold...here take my gloves...I don’t use them anyway. Do you come to this park a lot? I’ve never seen you here before..” you asked, reaching further into your pockets and taking out a pair of dark red knitted gloves and handing it to the boy in front of you. Looking into his eyes, waiting for a response.

“Thank..you...and you consider this a park? It’s just 2 swings under a streetlight..” he said softly taking the gloves from your hands gently

“Do you not? I thought it was..nice even though it’s not much, I come here every night.” you said

“You don’t get bored of it?” he asked 

“It’s the best it’s ever gonna get for me.” you said tucking your hands into your sleeves 

Izana’s mouth parted at your words. He knows you were going through something but what? Why was someone like you settling for something so...bad? Izana knew nothing about you except for the fact that you were overly nice. Overly nice to the point where it made him calm down.

“I can uh.. I can..take you to a better park! I know a place! Do you wanna come with me?” he asked bringing his arms to grasp you wrists tight making you surprised

Your eyes traced his face as a small smile grew on your face. Izana felt his face warm up at seeing you smile. It made him feel...good. Really good. It made him feel wanted. And he wanted to see you do it more often. He didn't even realize that because of your smile, a smile grew on his face as well. After a couple of seconds of looking into each others eyes, again...your eyes closed giving him a closed eyed smile as you said with a soft laugh-

“I do.” 

Izana let out a scoff of excitement as his eyes traveled down to your hands. Letting go of your wrists and lowering one of his hands to hold your hand tight. He looked back into your eyes with a different look. A look where you finally saw light in his eyes, and it made them that much more beautiful. 

“Okay. Don’t let go, just run with me.” he said as he started to walk and look back at you waiting for your reassurance 

“Okay.” you smiled bringing your other hand to hold your hat as you two started to run against the cold wind

The cold wind hit your eyes, making you squint. Occasionally Izana would look back at you while running to make sure you were okay, and it really was one of the best sights of your life. Seeing his slightly flushed face from the cold wind looking back at you with a soft and small grin and messy bangs spread across his face. It made your eyes widen and your face relax. He is so pretty when he smiles. You wanted to see him smile more often, it made you feel loved.

The running turned to jogging, the jogging turned to fast walking, and that turned to slow steps. You two stood in front of the park, with your hands still intertwined. You pushed up your hat that was blocking your view slightly and looked up to a park. A park with 2 slides, 4 swings, monkey bars, rods, and all sorts of things. With bright and warm lights shining over it… There was grass instead of cement, colorful benches instead of dirt covered stools, and  families with children instead of people with drugs. You felt the excitement grow all across your body. Your mouth opened as you let out a gasp of happiness. Your face flushed because of the overwhelming feeling. And Izana watched all of it. Didn’t blink once when looking at your happy face. 

“Cmon! Let’s go and play!” you said gripping his hand tighter before letting go and running to the park

“Yeah!’ he said running after you with a big smile plastered across his face 

Hour’s went by, but it only felt like a couple of minutes. You two let your minds run wild, pretending you lead a crew of pirates who had to fight against fish people, to running a spaceship that was battling against aliens, to pretending that the floor was some type of acid that could kill you making you two crawl around the apparatus like spiders till both of your minds and bodies grew tired. 

You two had played so much to the point where the cold snowy air didn't even feel cold, but like an AC on a hot summer day. You sat on your legs under the apparatus, while Izana sat the same way, but was playing with the grass on the ground. You watched his fingers fiddle with the green strings. You wanted to ask something, but couldn't seem to put your thoughts into words. 

“Izana-” you said looking at him, waiting for his eyes to meet yours 

“Yes?” he said looking at you 

“....Can we be friends?” you asked rubbing your hands waiting for his answer 

His eyes widened..you wanted him. Not only did you want him, but you wanted to be friends with him, be beside him, be with him. It made his heart feel weird, almost fuzzy. 

“Yeah! Let’s be friends.” he said smiling making you smile too

“What about you? Do you have a home?” you asked 

“No..I uh..I don’t. I don't have a family.” he signed deciding to keep back his sob story 

“Don’t worry, I get it. You can talk to me about it whenever we’re together again.” you said 

“When will we be together again?” he asked tilting his head 

“I don't know..but...I’ll always be at those swings, everyday. And when we get older..we can do other stuff in other places..like go to the beach..and bowling..you know?” you said smiling while counting things on your fingers 

“Yeah okay..sounds fun..Y/n..I can’t wait till we get older!” he said smiling making you laugh a little bit  

“Same!” you said 

Both of your heads quickly turned when hearing an angry man scream, a scream you knew far too well. 

“Damn it! You stupid little girl! Is this where you’ve been?! Huh?!” you both heard the male scream 

“Who is that? Who is he talking to?” asked Izana keeping his eyes on the man as he walked closer and closer 

“No..oh no..I’m late..” you said in a shaky voice 

“What?” asked Izana 

“Duck and hide. Izana please..” you whispered quickly gathering all of you stuff and crawling out from under the apparatus 

Izana had never in his life seen such a terrified face. Your eyes were wide, and your hands were shaking...but not from the cold, but from pure fear. Usually Izana would protest at orders thrown so suddenly at him by people...but the way your voice and whole energy changed within a split second made Izana shut up and listen to you. He ducked under the piece of plastic, Hiding himself while still letting his eye poke out to see you. 

“I’m sorry…” you said walking over to the man quickly looking down 

“Look at me when you speak to me.” he said when suddenly you felt a harsh and sharp slap against your cheek causing your head to turn to the side. You brought your hand to your cheek, while turning back to look at the man. Izana’s mouth parted in shock and disgust. Just as he was about to run out, you spoke again. 

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” you said 

“Damn right it won’t happen again! You think I like it when your whore mother calls me late at night telling me how ‘our’ kid isn’t home yet?! A kid I never wanted but I have to worry about?! Jesus fucking Christ. Bad shit always has to happen to good guys huh? I just wanted a fuck but this is what I get. he said as you grind your teeth in anger 

“I’m sorry.” you said again bowing 

Izana’s heart was beating so hard..he could feel it right against his ear. The amount of guilt and pity he was feeling was unbearable, he wanted so desperately to just get up and just defend you, in any way he could, and so he tried to change his position to get ready to run out and help you. But as he did so, his foot hit the halo metal causing a quiet bang, but since the street was quiet it could be heard. Loud enough for the angry drunk man with a bottle of alcohol in his hand to hear. Izana stopped dead in his tracks, and your eyes widened in fear.  

“Are you..Are you with someone?” he asked in an angry and deep voice as he started to walk towards the sound

“No! It’s just the rabbit I found! I was feeding it under the slide because that’s where the most full grass is! It probably just ran away.” you said spilling out lies on the spot with scared eyes desperately hoping he would believe you.

“Yeah yeah, I don't care about your little rabbit. Now c'mon start walking, I wanna buy a beer before taking you back.” he said, slightly pushing you, making you lose your balance slightly as your father walked in front of you. 

You took a deep breath of relief, as you started to walk you looked back seeing Izana had crawled out slightly, just enough for you to see him, and for him to see you. You saw he had eyes filled with worry and fear, you didn't want him to worry, truly. Because the night you had just spent with him...made your day...actually the rest of your life. And so you gave a soft smile and waved before placing your hands back into your pockets and turning your head forward. 

Izana could only watch you walk away in confusion, in anger, in sadness, in every emotion there was. He could understand that you two were different sides of the same coin. And it honestly hurt him. Hurt him so greatly to the point where he swore to himself that he would do anything he can to not just see you smile, but to keep you safe. 

And there was no way on earth he could fail at that, no way he would let you sacrifice your body for his well being like you had just done, no way he would let himself...right?

“When we first met...Do you remember it?” you asked looking into his eyes that were now filled with tears 

He felt his body go cold….cold like that one night..That one night when he met you. 

He couldn't respond, and only nodded his head, as his thumb wiped the blood that spilled from the side of your lips 

“Wasn’t it fun?” you asked smiling 

“It was.” he responded feeling his heart ache at your smile 

“It was the best day of my life.” you said feeling a lump in your throat 

“We can talk about that day later, let’s go to the hospital right now, okay?” he said holding his hand over your bloody wounds 

“I think this is it, Izana.” you said laughing a bit as he shook his head ‘no’ at your words 

“Don’t talk like that, please don’t talk like that.” he said, holding back his sobs, making his words come out shaky. 

“Do you remember what I asked you? About wanting to be friends?” you asked bringing your hand up to lift his chin 

He didn’t respond with words, but the frown on his face, grew, letting you know he did. Of course he did. Izana would never forget a moment between you two. 

“What I really wanted to...say back then was...that I liked you, but we were only so small, and as...I grew up with you, I realized it was more. Sound’s kinda cliche right? Was it the same with you?” you said in between pauses of pain.

“Y/n stop making this sound like a goodbye, I won’t let it be a goodbye, okay?!” he yelled out of frustration, but again, you showed no reaction, like before when he first lashed out on you. It made his eyes soften when realizing the poison you two were in, was just like years before. Just like when you first met. 

At the park, with 2 swings, and 1 street light shining over it. 

Suddenly, all the thoughts in his head were stopped when he felt your embrace. Your arms wrapped under his arms and around his upper stomach, and you cheek against his collarbone and neck. He was hesitant, his arms still hovering over yours, not hugging you back yet. But you didn't mind.  

“Don’t worry, I get it.” said slightly nuzzling yourself into him, breathing in his scent which you loved so much.

“I-”

Izana felt his heart beat so slowly.. at the familiar words you were speaking. But they were different from before, this time, you didn’t talk about being in his future...like you did before. His arms were still refusing to hug you back. His mouth still refusing to accept and return your love. 

“How do you think things would’ve been?

“Y/n..”

“Do you think we would've ended up together, and had a family? Like a type of family we never had?”  

“Y/n please..”

The feeling in your throat became stronger. You frowned and bit your inner cheek to keep in your sobs 

“How can you be so warm in a place so cold, Izana?” 

You heard Izana’s breath hitch at your words. His head slowly and hesitantly rested on yours, as you felt hot tears coat your scalp. And his arm’s fell to his sides, still refusing the fact that this is a goodbye.

But why was he refusing? He could’ve easily grabbed you and ran to the hospital. But instead he didn’t. He couldn’t. Because he knew deep down that it was already too late. Your body was cold. So cold, it was unsettling. Because your body was never cold. You were always warm, you were home for Izana. Izana knew if he tried to make it to the hospital, it would make his final moments with you a waste. 

So what was he doing? He doesn’t know himself...All he knew was that he wanted to be with you till the end, but a part of him couldn't accept that this was in fact...the end for you two. 

“Please don’t leave.” he said in a shaky tone against your head

“I’m sorry.” you said feeling the hot tears that were congested in your eyes, finally fall out

“Don’t say that…” he said 

“Izana?” you said fighting against your sobs 

“Yes?” he said 

“I love you. And I always have.” you said smiling as you felt your final breaths.

Izana felt your grip on him loosen, and just as it did, he brought his arms and wrapped them over your cold body. 

You felt it, you felt his embrace, and you heard him scream that he loves you back, You heard and felt it all. But you couldn't let him know that you did. You couldn't even keep your smile as you took your final breaths. But you did feel the hot tears run across your cheek. And down to your neck, as he cried and screamed in regret. 

HIs body, still so warm..so warm against something so cold.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Explanation SPOILER HERE FOR TENJIKU ARC: BASICALLY, Y/n died before the battle against Toman, it’s not in the ff(as to who killed y/n) because i wanted the reader to have some control, but in this ff I made it so that Y/ns death was another reason for Izana to wanna take down Toman and Mikey, so as i was making this i had the imagine that Kisaki would be to kill or have someone else kill Y/n to make Izana even more unstable and easier to manipulate, hence the whole fight thing so yeah lmao. Izana and Y/n thought of each other as home, and fell in love with the feeling of being with each other i guess? BUT in the end, Izana thinks he’s too late, and thinks that Y/n didnt hear/feel him, which just makes him even more frustrated and angry, so he feels guilty and ends up taking that out on others and taking loved ones from others too (hence being a motive for ordering for emma ot be killed) sorry if this is confusing 

[angelthebedsheet]

Can you do a zuko x male reader or gender neutral. It could be about the reader witnessing the agni Kai and watching zuko get banished. The reader tries to go with zuko but zuko doesn’t want the reader to get hurt. Years later they meet at the boiling rock. You can take it from there. I love your writings and I’ll keep supporting you 💕

a/n: oooooh! thank you anonnie!! i appreciate your requests!!!

lets get it!

okay so you and zuko were TURTLEDUCK BUDDIES

attached to the hip basically

azula HATED how close you two were bc hello she’s right here???

i mean you and zuko trained together

fed ducks together

best buds

you knew you liked zuko alot but you didn’t understand?

like you started to get flustered around him

same with zuko

and azula was PLOTTING NOW

she doing a think rn with one of her BRILLIANT ideas 😐

“oh n/n! zuzu! come play a game with us!”

zuko’s flight or fight reflexes are triggered and he’s ready to DIP

but you r unfortunately intrigued

“oh okay ‘zula! cmon zu!”

cue azula’s smug lil grin

she puts an apple on your head and makes you stand in front of the fountain

you’re like ???? is this the game?

azula’s like it is n/n it’ll be fine

it was NOT fine

she damn near burnt you to a crisp if it wasnt for zuko tackling you into the fountain

now azula, ty lee and mai are LAUGHIN

but we all know mai lwk a lil jelly

you and zuko are embarrassed as fuck

you both are soaked and he’s hovering over you

mr zuzu looking real pretty

he just turns red and pulls you up before running away

zuko is like ???? boys are cute especially this one???

you two still remained close after this incident

two lil gays boys who are trying to not crush on e/o

(im sorry the only thing i can think about when i think of zuko is his gay ass lil scream in the prototype pilot episode)

(nigga said wwAHHH)

anyways

azula teased you about zuko speaking out against a general and their dad is angry and you’re like oh shit

suddenly you arent allowed to visit zuko anymore

and you’re like wtf no no let me in

the guards said no

you’re so paranoid too

is he okay?

what fully happened?

soon the agni kai is announced to happen

and you are seated next to iroh and azula

you’re clutching onto your pants as you watch zuko walk into the arena

you really dont want him to get hurt

your eyes widened as you watched zuko’s father walk into the arena and your heart drops

zuko is clearly surprised and frightened

tears are rolling down your cheeks bc you are so so so scared for him

iroh covers your eyes as he looks away when zuko got burned and you could feel your heart break as you listened to his cries of pain

you cried out as iroh pulled you into a hug

you and iroh immediately rushed to the infirmary to get to zuko

you push past those guards and nurses bc you are on a MISSION

aint nobody getting in your way like this bc you will STOMP they asses out

you are not leaving his side

“z-zu are you okay? can you hear me?”

“m-m/n? where are you? i cant see”

zuko is starting to panic due to the fact his left eye is patched close

you hold his hand “i’m right here zu. shh im here”

he’s so overwhelmed too poor baby

“u-uncle? w-where is he?”

“right here zuko.”

you help him sit up and he grabs a mirror immediately

he frowns at his reflection

“you’re still handsome zuko.” you said

iroh pretended to not see that blush that sat on zuko’s cheeks

“i-i’ve been banished, m/n.”

“what?”

“i’m banished from here. the only way i can come back is if i capture the avatar.”

“but he’s been gone for years zuko! let me come with you”

“no! it’ll be too dangerous”

“how? we trained together! grew up together? how is it too dangerous?”

“no m/n! i dont want to lose you!”

“you wont lose me zuko.”

“you dont know that. you arent coming with me.”

you and him went back and forth

after he shaved his hair and was about to board his boat you pulled him away

then you confessed right then and there

i mean you didnt know when you’ll see him again

“i like you zuko. more than a friend”

“what?”

“i like you.”

“are you for real? this isnt a joke right? like azula didn’t put you up to this?”

“no she didnt.”

“oh thank the spirits. i like you too.”

and yall have this lil awkward ass kiss

just a short lil peck?

i mean yall are 12/13 and two boys you think they gonna go all out tonguing niggas? lmao

you two hug before iroh calls him over

“i’ll wait for you zuko”

“i’ll try my best.”

and he’s gone

over the years zuko was gone he was so sad

“if i capture the avatar i can come back to the fire nation and m/n”

but clearly the whole LeMmE cAtCh tHe AvAtAr thing was dropped when he got that glow up

(neya said 🦋🦋🦋🦋 whenever they look at zuko cmon NOW.)

now they’re otw to boiling rock

“my first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

“that’s rough buddy.”

and sokka’s like you ever dated someone before?

zuko’s like..... two people?

“that knife throwing girl?”

“her and m/n. though we never got to date bc at the time i was literally banished. i miss him alot though.”

bi king ✨

“what if he’s at the boiling rock?”

“then i’ll find him.”

sokka’s like yes my man get your MANS

“okay so we look for my dad, suki and your husband”

“he’s not my husband sokka.”

“..... my dad, suki and your husband”

“omfg shut your trap.”

these pair of himbos finally get inside and are on a MISSION

sokka’s like heheheeh suki time

KAJDJAJDJJSKDJF

zuko’s hopeful that you’re here or at least alive

after sokka and suki have their lil reunion zuko wanders off and asks around

“do you have a prisoner by the name of m/n?”

“why do you ask, newbie?”

“uhhh the warden sent me to him.”

“oh. there.” pointing to a door

zuko has to CONTAIN the excitement and nods before speed walking off

he throws open that door so quickly

you on the other hand is ready to rumble “i TOLD YOU I DONT FUCKING HAVE IT”

zuko just closes the door behind him and takes off his helmet

you’re like hol up wait wait zuko????

and he nods with a big ol grin on his face

you just hug him so fucking tight

maybe there were some tears shed

you pick him up and twirl him around

zuko’s like holy SHIT

and you pull back to just look at him

“you’re still as handsome as i remember you, zu.”

“so are you, n/n...”

he’s just so awestruck

the person he has been looking forward to seeing for 3/4 years is right infront of him

yall just kiss

sokka now gotta pull a zuko and bang on that door

“yALL DOING THINGS IN THERE??? HURRY UP”

“shut UP sokka”

zuko puts his helmet back on and grabs your hand

yall finally dip and are otw tf outta there

“oh shit zuko he’s cute”

“back off”

“im happy with suki relax sir”

zuko is clingy and was hugging you the whole time

not that you minded bc you missed him dearly

when yall got back and he introduces you

the group minus toph is like “ZUKO’S GAY????”

toph is like “I FUCKING CALLED IT”

alls well

except for the fact zuko wouldnt let you go anywhere by yourself

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

[slaytimesover]

Getting the C**NTS back together

—————

made up text chat between the euphoria gals, set after the finale & minus (SPOILER) fez getting in the shootout

I JUST WANT MY GIRLS TO BE HAPPY BROOOO

content: wholesome, tryna be realistic w how they text

—————

March 1st, 2021

Maddy: hey anyone

add cass back i still have the bitch unadded

Kat: bro don’t u know her username

Maddy: no this is my new phone rmb

literally showed u in class today:/ rude mf

Kat: shit sry babe

Maddy: </3

*Kat has changed the chat name to cassies hot tub vomit💯💯*

Maddy: HAHAHAHAAAAA GTFO

BB: 🤣🤣🤣Funny ash Nahhhh Kat

Jules: uMM bro how come idk anything abt this…

story time ???

*Kat has added Cassie*

Cassie: Um what the fuck guys….

Kat: SORRY CASS THE OPPORTUNITY WAS RIGHT THERE

BB: Can still Smell that shit on me ICL🤣🤣😂

Maddy: 💀💀fucking helpppp

Jules: I STILL NEED THAT STOYTIME ???

Cassie: Can I ask what the hell is going on

Is this new or smth? Also the names not funny

Jules: new as in … like 3 months old then ye

Cassie: WTF

Not a single one of yall has talked on the other chat for ages is it bc u guys were fucking here?

BB: Ya we have

Jus like u banged Nate for Ages n Shi 💀💀

Kat: out of POCKET

Maddy: LMAO BARBARA

Jules: PFF

no hard feelings tho cass :)

we all wanna meet up soonish

Maddy: yup friday at 8, my place

sorry this fkn introduction was brutal but babe we wanna properly get together again

all 7 of u cunts

Kat: 7? there’s 5 in the gc🤨🤨

Jules: wait wait wait can we like BACJTRACK to the cassie hot tub thing??

Cassie: No Jules we really can’t

Also Maddy are you sure?

Maddy: girl puked her guts out at my party after drinking herself half to death <3

sent me into fkn cardiac arrest ill tell u that

love u though babe

and yes ofc. we outta put this past us

Cassie: MADDY!!! Girl!!!!

Jules: LMAO POOR CASS

no shame in it weve all been there ❤️

Cassie: Shut upppp

Tell me if I’m ever gonna hear the end of that story…

Maddy: @Kat forgot to add em but i want rue rue & lex there too

going full out bitches

Kat: cass keep dreaming lolll

BB: Jule boutta see her Ex Yooooo😫😫

Kat: fuck fuck oh yeah

are yall cool now? i saw u two tgt after the play

BB: Play was Fire Though Lexi Ate🔥🔥🔥

Cassie: …

Jules: uh

well

that’s the question 😃

Maddy: jules b what happened?

Kat: yeah ive been meaning to properly check in holy crapp

Jules: we aren’t seeing each other anymore in that way, & maybe its for the best but im still processing it yk?

it was… weirdly calm even after the intervention bullshit went down

ig we had an unspoken agreement that we shouldnt be together

even if theres still love between us

its hard to tell where we stand is all im sayin

Kat: shit dude i hope ur okay

Maddy: yeah…

so much respect for u

itll get better n itll be worth it <3 i promise

wish i coulda realised that on my own, ur fuckin fearless

Cassie: I hear you Maddy

I’m happy for u Jules

BB: Go Jule 🙏

Cassie: I mean, if ur all okay then I’ll come

I really want to make amends I don’t know what had gotten into me

I feel terrible

Maddy: a friend told me that in her experience, it was just the right amount of attention at the wrong time, yh? anyways girl i kno u deserve amother chance even if u fucked up

& jules

same goes for u n rue, how abt we all hang out like old times and see where it goes on from there hm? pretty pls

Jules: i cant promise that itll nott be awkward but im down mads!

Maddy: bettt

*Maddy added Rue and Lexi*

Lexi: uh hello

what is this gc name 😭 don’t remind me omg

Kat: 😹😹

Maddy: okay listen up girls, my house 8pm friday, not optional so clear ur shit. no excuses.

& im talking to u lex with that fez mf

Lexi: noo stop💀

BB: She Blushin through the screen on Godd LOL

Rue: wait hey what’s going on

Maddy: rue rue

we wanna come together like the olden days & properly have a girls night

think we deserve a celebration after the shit weve been thru this year

Lexi: really?

thats sounds so nice I like that !!

Kat: ur play def sealed the deal for us dude<3

we fr just need a big catch up & some actual fun

Jules: literallyy

Maddy: everyone in fr?

Lexi: yess

Cassie: Yes

Jules: yep!

Kat: ofc

BB: Yass

Cassie: Rue?

Lexi: um I think fez just took her phone hold up

Jules: NOT YOU WITH FEZ AGAIN AHHH

Rue: YO WHO THE FUCK IS CASSIE AND WHY SHE THROWING up in the bathbutt

Kat: man said bathbutt😭😭

Rue: TUB*

Tu(/(/)£&&&@&@&&&@@@@@@@

Sorry55555555555555 that was fe££&&

FEZ TOOK My phone sry guys

Maddy: sadly were not inviting fez </3 shame we can’t meet the bf lexi but rue come join us brooo

Rue: i mean…

we can try

lotsa shit went down between us tho are u all good?

Cassie: Yeah, & we can just take it step by step anyways

Jules: yepp, i wanna see u all

no matter what

Rue: well

ill try n be there

so sure guys:)

BB: YOOOO It Worked

Maddy: ahhhhhh! cant fucking wait

god i missed this bs<3

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[yeetussfetus]

hehe thawn

ok ok ok so ik that this was an idea so long ago but i wanted to write something and like this is all i could come up with pls dont come @ me 

Eli looked at his comm, which beeped out a “NOT RESPONDING, NOT RESPONDING” every few seconds. He let out an angry sigh and shut it off, too tired to think. You weren’t responding to any of his calls and he was going to need you on the bridge soon, and he wanted to make sure that Thrawn wasn’t the one who has to go and find you, since Thrawn was always lenient with you about these things.

Truly, he had no idea how a man of such elegance and high standards fell for someone so feral, but oh well. It’s not that you didn’t do your job, it was just more of your personality. He remembers someone describing you as a raccoon in someones trash bin at 3 am, and honestly, that description fit you just well. From waking up in the early hours to make a full course meal, to climbing through the vents instead of walking through the halls, it was a wonder how you even got into the navy. Even more of a wonder on how you befriended so many higher ups.

He turned to the nearest lieutenant, and said, “stay here, I’ll try and find her. If you don’t hear from me by the time Grand Admiral Thrawn comes back, tell him to find her himself.” As he left, he let out a tiny strew of curses towards you and your little stupid antics. Of course, he still was your friend, but he was tired of having to remind you about how to be an adult.

He looked down at his command and saw that you were in… a stormtrooper living area? No, wait, you were in a nearby hallway. What the-

Now more curious than tired, he almost rushed past other officers towards the lower levels of the Chimera, not really caring about how late he was to the meeting.

--------------------------------

Finally, reaching the hallway, he turned and surprisingly, the door was closed. It wasn’t locked, though, so Eli opened it: just in time for a shopping cart to be launched straight at him. He slammed his fist on the control panel again, and the doors shut, and a few seconds later, he heard a loud BANG from the other side of the door.

He opened the door again to reveal that it was none other than you in the cart, and you almost looked happy: almost. But when you turned and saw Eli, you were expecting a tirade of concerned mom friend instincts and for him to drag you back to the bridge, telling you that Thrawn wanted you or that you were late to a meeting. What you were not expecting was for him to enter the hallway, close the doors, and say, “I’m going next, or else I’ll snitch.”

Realizing that he was serious, you said, “Oooohhh, Eli, you know snitches get stitches-” 

“Did I stutter.” 

“... no and fine, but then give the rest of them a turn.” Eli looked behind you to see maybe 4 stormtroopers who were very confused on why a commander was there and why he was talking to you, but then again, you had asked to join them on their fun, and you worked close with the Grand Admiral of the ship, so it wasn’t the weirdest thing they had seen.

Rushing the cart back to  top of the almost slanted hallway, Eli hopped in and grinning like a madman, you launched him down and for once in his life, he didn’t really care about what anyone would think about his unprofessionalism.

--------------------------------

Thrawn was checking the clock every minute, wondering why not only you, but Eli was late, which for you, wasn’t that much of a problem, but for you and Eli? Something was up, or at least, something was wrong. He looked around the room, to see that every officer in the room seemed… tired. Deciding to reschedule the meeting, since it was more of an optional one, he told the officers who arrived to take the rest of the day off, and that the meeting was to be rescheduled another day. Then, he headed out of the office to find you and Eli.

Following both of your comms was easy: what he wasn’t expecting was for you two to be near the stormtrooper quarters. Why would you be there? At this point he was almost concerned about why you would be there. He walked a little faster trying to wrap his head around the fact that you would be there of all places, but hey, it's you, he couldn’t figure you out if you had a list of things you would do on a daily basis.

--------------------------------

Reaching the hallway that your comm stated that you two were in, he hears- a wheel. A few wheels of some kind being dragged away from the door. Then, it suddenly stops. He listens closely and he was able to hear your voice, and then Elis. It sounded like you two were arguing. Of course, he wasn't able to figure out what it was about. Thrawn decided to open the door, and take a look at what you were doing. However, he chose the wrong moment to open the door, because unlike Eli, he didn’t have time to close the doors, as he saw you and Eli in a shopping cart, rolling down straight for him. 

Realizing he couldn’t just close the doors, he slid against the walls as you and Eli rushed by him with the shopping cart. He looked up the hallway and saw that whoever you two were with leaving already. He sighed and decided to let it go for them, but of course, not for you two.

He stood back in the middle of the doorway as you hopped out of the cart. Eli tried to follow, but you motioned for him to stay in the cart. He slumped back down in the cart, knowing that he could just pin the blame on you, but instead he just crossed his arms, waiting for you to say something since it seemed like you had a plan. Thrawn straightened up and stared you both down, before asking one simple question.

“Where did you get the shopping cart?”

You held up a hand with your pointer finger, and at first Eli was expecting some bullshit lie, since it wasn’t actually you or Eli to acquire the cart, but it was actually the troopers.

What he wasn’t expecting was for you to grab the handle of the cart and start booking it to wherever Thrawn wasn’t. He felt himself go to one side of the cart then another as you twisted your ways around the halls. Thrawn simply sighed and then, too tired to deal with your bullshit, he started to chase after you two. 

Eli looked behind you to see Thrawn running after you two and started to panic. “_____, why the hell is he chasing us?” “For fucks sake, you think I know- wait he's chasing us.”

You looked over your shoulder to see that yes, Thrawn, your boyfriend, was chasing you and Eli through the ship. What was even scarier was that one, he was tall, he did actually look like a murderer, and two, his face was darkened, and the only thing you could see from this far was his blood red eyes. 

Enough to scare you, you turned back to continue your way through the ship as Thrawn chased you down the many hallways, and Eli was the one with the most terror in his eyes, since Thrawn seemed to be gaining on the two of you.

--------------------------------

Tarkin walked to the bridge of the Chimera, expecting you to be there. However, surprisingly, you weren’t, and neither was the deformed fruit Thrawn. His mood quickly decreased as he turned towards the nearest officer. “Where is commander _____?” The officer stood there for a second, before he explained, “Well, sir, she is… um…”

Tarkin was about to insult the man for his slowness in responding, when Kallus appeared in front of the doorway. “Commander _____ is pushing Commander Vanto in a shopping cart while they are running from Grand Admiral Thrawn.”

Tarkin turned towards Kallus with a confused look. “What?”

Kallus pulled out a datapad that showed a few security footage that were picked up, showing you pushing Eli in a shopping cart at full speed, while Eli was screaming at something behind you. Suddenly, Thrawn came into view, running straight for the two of you. Tarkin immidialy started to move out of the room, mumbling something along the lines of, “I’m gonna beat that son of a bitch to death” as he walked out of the room. 

Kallus stood there for a moment, then shrugged his shoulders and moved on with his life. This wasn’t the weirdest thing he has seen happen with you two.

--------------------------------

lmao pls take this i had to shoot myself in the foot to get this /s. anyway if yall wanna send in a ask i guess just send it in. is it technically request?? idgaf just send it in and ill try my best. 

oh also big thanks to @fallenrepublick u really helped me get inspired for writings

[no-droids]

DOVE HAS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MURDERED ME FUCK YOU WRITE OBI SO GOOD IT WAS PERFECT FROM START TO FINISH PART 3????? HEADCANONS ON WHAT THEY GET INTO OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS??? ANYTHING

OH YEAH

There are so many ways this could potentially go so as the author I humbly present three options of fics I’ll never write, all of them featuring one very obvious thing I wouldve been forced to acknowledge in a nonexistent part 3 and each one increasing in angst so if you’re a happy person that loves happy endings (LIKE MEEEEEE SO EVEN THE ANGSTY ONES WILL HAVE HAPPY ENDINGS BECAUSE WHY ELSE GO THROUGH ALL THAT MESS) then limit yourself to the first one

((also I am not going to make this sound flowy and coherent because I have not the time for it padawans so you’re gonna have to deal with my bullshit in all its unfiltered bullshit if you want my thoughts because in this house we wing it understand))

Very fluffy, very happy, slightly unrealistic headcanon:

You and Obi-Wan are like little RABBITS after this like not just for the rest of the ritual but the whole trip back, like yall bang it out for like a whole two weeks like nobody’s business and he can’t fucking get enough of you. Both go back to Coruscant, Obi-Wan asks the Council if he can oversee the whole training aspect of the new soldiers before they’re sent out into the war, he’s granted permission because he’s just given the republic the ultimate checkmate against the separatists so nobody’s gonna fuckin say SHIT. Y’all do everything and more that Obi-Wan first offered to you in those fantasies, and it’s hot and dirty and secret sex (IN A GREAT WAY) and you get to make eyes at each other when you pass in the halls and it’s TINGLY and maybe... maybe at some point your signature starts to change just a little bit, even more than when yall first did your thing on s’Ziscari and suddenly WHAT HOLY SHIT YOU PREGNANT???? and normally that would be such a SHOCK and OUTRAGE to have a PREGNANT JEDI IN THE ORDER except what the fuck is the council gonna do about it like? They literally ASKED for this, gave their blessing knowing full damn well that shit was a ritual of fertility and he would have to cum inside you for a week straight, knowing you weren’t on birth control because you’re a Jedi like there’s no reason for it, knowing that you did it to save the entire galaxy like WHAT THE FUCK IS THEY GON DO?? so oopsies BABY TIME BABY and I had that wonderful anon once who graciously informed us all that mundi was granted permission to uh. MARRY AND HAVE CHILDREN due to extenuating circumstances so hell yeah you and Obi-Wan have a lil Jedi family and its great and everything is lovely and either you have a lil kid that has a soft lovely turquoise signature in the force OR you have twins and one of them has green energy and the other has blue the end

Slightly angstier headcanon:

Obi-Wan knows it’s wrong but he still wants it. He fucks you hard those six days and then the entire trip back, but once he goes back to coruscant around all the other jedi he starts bouncing back and forth between hot and cold because HE can’t handle it. But he still requests to stay on Coruscant because secretly he knows he won’t be able to resist you for long and then oop y’all got that force connection thingie so you know exactly what he’s thinking, you know how much he wants it and how much he’s still struggling with it and so you become a lil minx that continues to seduce him constantly, you start masturbating when you know he can hear you and thinking of very sexy kinky things that starts to drive obi-wan just a lil bit crazy in the head, but he’s STRONG and he got years of experience resisting his feelings for you. But then WHOOPS PREGNANT so that baby bump very quickly brings y’all back together because Obi never imagined he’d be a father, but then the council isn’t as cool this time about it and the only offer they present is that you have the baby quietly and the baby will join the academy as a youngling and y’all can’t ever tell them you’re their parents because it creates attachments. So you’re devastated but you understand and Obi-Wan gives you that non husband husband dick to make you both feel better and then you both grow old together, secretly in love and you get to watch your lil youngling grow into a excellent little jedi from afar and it’s kinda sad but at the same time it’s fitting for the setting so don’t come at me

ANGSTY HEADCANON:

Obi-Wan loses himself in the ritual for the rest of the six days but as soon as it’s over and done with, he realizes the gravity of what he just did and how Dark he allowed himself to become, and he FREAKS and turns away from his feelings because it’s what he’s been trained to do his entire life and he avoids your ass like the fucking corona even though y’all still have a permanent connection thingie in the force and he can feel your HURT but here’s the thing that’s just MORE DARKNESS, more of why he never wanted to do this to begin with and he can’t get alleviate that darkness without also giving into it so FUCK he just goes back to fighting and leaves you, just like you feared he would. And then suddenly OOPS PREGGO but without obi-wan there to stand up for the sacrifices you made, you get banished from the order and WHAT THE FUCK EVERYTHING BAD IS HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE and obi-wan can feel something through the force from across the universe (stolen, credit: The Beatles) and he STRUGGLES BITCH EVERY DAY HE STRUGGLES WITH THIS SHIT but then AHHHHHHH!! PALPATINE SCREECH because oh fuck that’s some good darkness right there mhm and the s’Ziscari just threw a wrench into everything so palpatine panics and uses everything that’s happening to TURN YOU SITH DUN DUN DUNNNNNN (if you’re reading this far I’m assuming you’re wondering why palpatine wasn’t ever mentioned in any of the other potential headcanons and theres a great reason for that tbh it’s because I’m an asshole author and I reserve the right to choose whatever storyline fits my whims at the time) BUT ANYWAYS so you go full on dark side baby and it’s sexy as fuck you got them slightly yellow eyes but before you can get too deep into it, obi-wan can feel that shit in the force and HE DROPS EVERYTHIGN TO GET YOU BACK BABY DONT FRET. he makes some big gesture idk and you forgive him and balance his light with your darkness again and he leaves the order for you and you both become grey jedi with a family with no affiliation to the order and live happily ever after the end

Anyways. feel free to ignore all of those and come up with your own ending instead! this is just me suggesting possibilities

[darlingjbum]

💭💭

[thecringefailintherye]

Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!

i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy

very long post warning

fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG

i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing

i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good

yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now

OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME

god is love

IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL

i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is

LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺

ads in middle of movie be like

its harry secombe!

AMENNNN

oliver gets bullied the movie

look at this poor kid

MOREE????????

oh yes oliver i love this song

O L I V E R

poor kid

without any bannister yikes

the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR

oh were outside now

olivers just been kicked out oh shit

but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on

BOY FOR SAY AL

look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better

SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY

theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream

noah claypole more like noah clayprick

“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY

HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER

oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless

DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH

YES OLIVER KILL HIM

yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done

"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("

ITS MEAT!

oliver deserves better man 

im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.

ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF

i want to give him a hug

OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY

hes in the lettuce

LONDON YOU MADE IT !

yes oliver trains exist

DODGER!!!

whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff

the beak

look at lil jack wild

me more hintimate friends

cockney accent™️

the artful dodga

CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!

im sorry i love this song

look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger

he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this cast is BIG

okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song

note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING

ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG

how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid

its dodga comin up

this set is sraight out of the book i love it

CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 

“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 

ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype

more and more big cast

THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)

stfu drink your gin

is this a laundry?? no fam 

THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL

IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS

sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger

this song is EVERYTHING 

hard at work lol ok

did he make those himself??? no

couple a wipes

EMBROIDERED THEM??? no

petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times

i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley

anyway charley bates supremacy

whos bill sikes??? NO

fuck bill all my homies hate bill

rum tum tum is a banger

go bed now

take your hat off in bed dodger

movie fagin has rights

fagin leaving where will he go

BET IS THAT YOU

FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 

NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖

NANCYYYY!!!!!!

its a fine life more like its a banger

wheres all of bets lines gone

bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)

its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song

such a happy song about domestic abuse

THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU

bullsye rights!

i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype

oliver?????

at this moment fagin knew he fucked up

nancy you deserve better than bill

oh hi dodger forgot you existed

and the rest of you except oliver

ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you

THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART

im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent

why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny

pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him

not “sir artful” 😭😭😭

anyfink for youu

WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!

i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times

THESE KIDS CAN SING

 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this

again, movie fagin rights

weed riissk lifee and limmbb

you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!

ats on boys time were off

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!

mate that aint single file did you not hear him

am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??

our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!

WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN

dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS

oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

movie fagin rights pt 27238227

DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill

ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW

no dont were only an hour in

three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do

dodger and charley said be gay do crimes

ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger

IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM

are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape

yes they are why are we surprised 

i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work

OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????

charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out

WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin

how could i help it :((((

no bill!

stan nancy

“two other boys stole it” no shit

BROWNLOW !

run bitch run

right intermission time now

AND WE’RE BACK!

entr acte

who will buyyy

strawberry girl is carrying this

oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728

this is a banger wtf

okay its done now right

right?????

UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE

have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???

NO SHE WONT FAGIN!

shit.

fuck bill

this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are

as long as he needs me :(

FUCK YOU BILL

rose maylie is that you?!

look at lil oliver!!

BILL FUCK OFF

i hate bill

“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids

anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.

I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL

even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill

WE STAY CALM!!

no bill i havent heard a dying chicken

act one was just childish antics now we have THIS

fuck bill

YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????

jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 

this film.. 

a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!

a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably

banger

ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!

villains theives and nine year olds

MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!

fuck bill pt72898376728909878199

bill youre traumatising him

cmon nance do something!!

also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet

nancy tell him who bill is!!!

bullseye deserves better

uhm what is going on

bill sikes more like bill yikes

oliver what are you doing

BILL TERRIFIES ME

FUCK

omg oom pah pah????

leave oliver alone bill hes like nine

oh banger

OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!

just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it

COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH

god i love this song

IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS

its the same oom pah pah

“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg

OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!

nancy is so fucking smart

getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever

fuck

bill.. no.. bill.. bill????

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC

BILL GET OFF HER

NANCY NO

HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER

BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING

nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill

EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL

ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER

FUCK YOU BILL

movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?

youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD

BILL

fuck, well. #

“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”

ten quid says dodgers been caught

oh no all fagins shit is gone

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2

FUCK YOU BILL

GOD I HATE HIM

OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK

never have i been so happy to see a character die

rest in shit bill

hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 

god, this film is so fucking good.

reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard

MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!

FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN

DODGER??????????

IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN

FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT

FUCKING PLOTTWIST

IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO

once the villain you’re the villain to the end

i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?

god this is bittersweet

I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!

thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man

oliver gets his happy ending abt time

YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!

well.. that was a journey and half

[youngcollectedtired]

haikyuu captains x insecure reader who finally feels pretty x reader with a toxic friend

This story has like all of my favorite characters. I don’t even know how long this is but enjoy. 

Warnings? None

Pairings? You’re friends with everyone so... 

Characters? Kuroo, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Bokuto, Sugawara, and... others 

You’d admit you’d had friends in your past. People who’d undermine your relationship. One relationship had scarred you in more ways than one and another had shown you what it meant to have true friends. If you were being honest, you never thought you deserved any better, and standing up for yourself against her seemed harder than it looked.

You'd tried in the past but you'd gotten nowhere, your friend attempting to blame your anxiety, depression and other health issues for the causes to your change. She'd blamed you for things you couldn't control and you believed her.  Believed that it was your fault, that your change was negative. She'd manipulated you into believing that she couldn't be herself around you and that was your fault. That you were sensitive and that jokes don't hurt.

Slowly you realized your worth but no matter how many times you tried to help her understand how you felt... everything was suddenly your fault. None of it made sense, to your or your friends. You tried.

You did.

So tell me why after 7 years of blind friendship and 3 years of taking the blame and hiding behind a mask one silly thing ended it all?

Why after all that did it take that one tiny moment to break you?

Funny enough you were hanging out with friends. The captains of the volleyball teams, frenemies and rivals alike. You all we’re hanging out a few of your friends meeting you guys soon. The mall wasn’t as packed as you’d expected and you were grateful.

You had a few things to do while hanging out with the guys. Today was your day.

You’d traded your long sleeve, big sweaters and heavy jeans for something you’d been planning on wearing for awhile.

Bootcut fitted jeans, tank top, and a button down tight sweater. You’d never felt more beautiful with your makeup look, vans for shoes and jewelry. Everything fit perfectly.

To make the day even better you just so happened to get paid yesterday and cash in your $100 bonus.

Sugawara nudged your shoulder, “you’re sparkling more than usual today.”

You smiled, “I don’t know I just feel...” you didn’t know how to describe it. Was it confident? No you just felt, “pretty.”

A soft look passed in his eyes, “you’re always pretty,” he added, guiding you to the others.

Having heard his statement the others smiled, “yesss you are!” Bokuto hugged you quickly, as Kuroo smirked, “today’s look is different you sexy thing you.”

You blushed not expecting that compliment much less from him. Their words of encouragement made you feel even more confident and pretty.

Your mood however changed as a familiar ring tone shook your purse.

Lena 💋: what are you doing today?

Distracted for a moment by Bokuto who shook you and waved wildly at your friends. You instantly grinned forgetting about the message you’d read.

“Guys, thanks for coming!” You hugged all three girls.

Jasmine laughed, “you think I’d pass up a moment for our third piercing together? I think not!”

Reese rolled her eyes, “well what are we waiting for?” Everyone crowded the girls walking with them and complimenting their outfits. Oikawa and Iwaizumi not too far from behind them.

You stepped up to the crowd prepared to give your own compliments only to be stopped by a buzz.

Lena 💋: so you’re gonna read that and not respond? some friend you are

You knew she was joking. That was in her character. But dang.

You 🦋✨: sorry I’m out with some friends.

You looked up, “you guys look amazing!” And quickly added before another ding interrupted your mid compliment.

“Sorry,” you smiled sheepishly to the girls before walking to the side.

Lena 💋: you mean the boys? Oh

You 🦋✨: some boys some girls, but what?

You knew what was up but you wanted her to say it.

Lena 💋: I just thought we were gonna hang out today

You knew she knew you had plans today. In fact you’d told her when you could this week and she’d been excited for you.

You tried to be nice. You did. But it was getting harder and harder too.

Lena 💋: are you sure you should be out? what if your chronic pain acts up and you burden them?

You should have seen this coming. This wasn’t the first time. And you had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. You were so tempted to close your phone.

Jasmine could see you on the side and to be truthful everyone else did too. They figured it was important if you’d stepped away.

Reese sighed, “let me guess it’s Lena?”

Jasmine shrugged, “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Caylie your other friend groaned, “today was a good day and now y/n is sad,” and true to her word your mood had deflated drastically.

The others followed her gaze again to see that to be true. Your eyes were on the floor and you messed with your outfit clumsily as if second guessing. You pulled your purse down unzipping it, they’d heard the banging and clanking and they saw your determined eyes as you found what you were looking for.  

You began rapidly texting.

Jasmine and Oikawa walked up to you. (Oikawa mainly to greet and compliment you.) That didn’t really matter once they both saw the last few messages.  

Y/n 🦋✨: I’m fine I brought my medicine.

Lena 💋: that stuff will end up killing you before your actual disease

Jasmine was furious. What kind of person would say that? Oikawa was confused. How could this be the same girl he’s seen so many pictures of you with?

Lena 💋: anyways I miss you can we at least meet tonight?

You bit your lip debating on how to tell her that you’d be spending all day with your friends and the night with the girls. She didn’t like your friends hating how they “stole” you away so to speak.

You began typing slowly attempting to form your thoughts.

Y/n 🦋✨: I have plans tonight too and possible tomorrow what about maybe Monday or Tuesday afternoon?

Lena 💋: 🙄 lameeeee

You rolled your eyes and everyone saw it. You gripped your phone tighter. To be honest you didn't want to hangout, you'd dreaded it the last few times, but you’d done what you could. You tried to make new plans and you’d even held conversation while you’re supposed to be with your friends. You felt bad to be texting someone else while hanging out. You hoped they could forgive you.

Y/n 🦋✨: you’re lame Lena

And you turned off your phone. You looked up to see the concerned look of your friends.

You smiled sheepishly as if trying to hide your frustrations. But they’d seen it first hand.

Caylie frowned, “Was that Lena?”

You looked away your eyes falling on the sidewalk on the outside of the mall.

Jasmine shook her head, “You can’t ignore her today?”

You shrugged, “She wanted to hangout today.”

Reese was fuming, “I’ve seen you guys texts these past few days she knew you were busy today and she was even excited for you,” she added confused, “what game is she playing?”

Sugawara furrowed his eyebrows, “Game?”

Oikawa jumped in exchanging glances with Jasmine and you, “Wait Is this that girl who’s been your friend for years? That Lena?”

You nodded slowly tired.

You tried to ignore the buzzing only imagining what she could be saying.

Kuroo humorlessly laughed, “She seems desperate sounds like she doesn’t have a life.”

Reese snorted at his words, “I’ve been trying to say that for years now.”

Akaashi was confused, “I’m sorry how long have you guys been friends?”

Caylie, Reese and Jasmine turned to you.

You smiled nervously, “Give or take 11 years?”

Kuroo’s eyes bulged, “11 years and she treats you like that?”

Jasmine clapped, “thank you!”

You shrugged, “I met her when I was 5 and we were kids so you know the first few years we were friends. Close even. And now we’ve slowly grown apart,” you sighed pulling out your phone, “I want to take a step back and she wants to be roommates,” you smiled emptily.

Everyone could see how this affected you. Your mood changed so quickly. Almost as if you were tired of it or her. They knew you’d never want admit it not wanting to hurt her feelings but from what they’d seen she didn’t care about you like you cared for her. Her friendship had drained you. And today those few moments proved it. To them at least.

You opened your eyes surprised to see 43 messages and more coming.

Jasmine and Oikawa took the initiate to look over your shoulder.

“Holy crap!” Oikawa exclaimed, “she has no respect for your time or for you!”

That grabbed everyone else’s attention. Reese was prepared to fight and Caylie was concerned for you.

You attempted to calm everyone down, "Guys she didn't say anything mean-," you cut yourself short your phone recognizing your face as the messages finally showed.

They weren't mean, but you could tell by the way she worded things she was prepared for a fight. Whether it was sarcastic or not, you were sure it would all depend on how you answered.

She'd caught you at a bad time to make jokes.

Lena 💋: How am I lame? Come on with it y/n.... how?    

That was the first three messages and the next 40 were counting in order to spam you.

Kuroo shook his head scrolling through messages himself careful not to click on them, "She's crazy!"

You groaned, of course you had to ruin everyone's mood with your own problems. You pulled your screen down, hitting the moon to silence calls. Everyone you wanted to talk to would either be meeting you soon or was right in front of you.

You smiled, "Sorry guys my phone is silenced, so i won't be worrying about her until after we hang out," you pushed your phone into your purse, "Yall now have my full attention."

Oikawa beamed, "About time! So happy you're fully with us now."

Caylie grinned, "I'm proud of you."

Reese furrowed her eyebrows, "You know she's gonna give you hell later right?"

You shrugged. On the inside you were terrified. The longer you don't answer the more agitated she'll get until eventually she won't even be able to talk to you without insulting every inch of your being. You'd been there before and thinking about it made your bones ache. You looked up seeing various faces, some proud, some confused and others nervous.

"Yeah, but today is about us, so let's enjoy it."

[torchwoodfanfests]

hi! im interested in beta reading one of the fics that dont have a beta yet, but before i sign up i was wondering what kinda beta reader yall were looking for. just grammar stuff, or someone to bounce ideas off of, or? id also like to know how long the fics are on average?

Hello! We're looking for any and all kinds of beta readers!

The baseline we ask for is basic grammar and spelling correction, but beyond that, it depends on each author how open they are to suggestions on plot, characterisation, etc. Some betas also provide encouragement, or help with research. But you don't need to offer all of these things to be a beta reader, and most authors will not want all of these things anyway.

I think the best way to go about it is always to ask the author you're betaing for what they want from you and take it from there.

As for the length of the fics, the Big Bang has a minimum word count of 10 thousand words, and no maximum limit. This is also our first time organising one, so I can't tell you an average, only that all the fics will be 10k+. The posting dates are in September, so there is a chance you will not be asked to become too involved yet as a beta (except maybe to talk about the idea a bit), as authors are just getting started.

There is currently only one unclaimed fic, you can claim it here if you're interested.

I hope this helped! If you have any further questions, please send us another ask, we’ll be happy to answer it :)

-Mod Elle