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bradenthompson · 7 months

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The Starfield Experience: Crimson Fleet

Never before have I been so mixed on a video game. And that's really something, bc I'm a little shit who isn't happy with anything.

I thought, rather than attempt to "review" Starfield, I'm just gonna catalogue my journey through the respective faction questlines, culminating in actually doing the main story. To star: Space Pirates. Yo ho hohohohohohohohohohhoohoohohohohooohoohhohohhhohohhhhh

Of course it's a pirates life

so two things motivated me going evil mode: for one thing, I like pirates already. Second thing is feeling out the game's morality system. Are we getting Skyrim-style slaps on the wrist or can I be, if you will, the king of the pirates? I had been talking in some Discord, doesn't matter which one, about morality choices in video games, and decided, since I was agnostic to Starfield, I would stress test the system by being the worst guy possible. And the Crimson Fleet, the game's premiere bandit faction, promised to get me there.

The way you initiate this quest is kind of funny and also immediately disappointing. I can accept having to join up in some way other than asking the first pirate who doesn't immediately open fire, but... okay so like--

The first time I was arrested in Starfield (it can be for literally anything) instead of being taken to jail I was instead taken to the UC Vigilance, a giant space cop flagship, and interred under Commander Ikande. He made me a deal: rather than serve my sentence, I can instead become a dirty filthy stinky RAT. He wanted me to join up with the Crimson Fleet and find out whatever they're up to because they were apparently real excited about something. You can refuse him, and I guess proceed to jail, but I wanted to be a pirate anyway and accepted, planning on cutting Ikande off the moment I could***************

What sort of crime did I pull? Failed a pickpocket check. Intentionally. Because by then I had already killed like three people unnoticed, one of which out in broad daylight trying to get caught but New Atlantis clearly doesn't do "see something say something." By then I just wanted to see what jail looks like, man. Now I did pick the "Gangster" trait at the character creation, a background picked up by Ikande in dialogue. So that was cool. Idk what he brings up for players who didn't pick that. "Based on your failed attempt to steal a lollipop, I think you're just who we need to infiltrate the Turbo Murder Gang."

Turbo Murder Gang

The Crimson Fleet initiation was deceptively simple. I first meet up with first mate Naeva Mora. She sends me off to kill a Crimson Fleet deserter named Austin Rake. Zooming off to his location, I discover Rake had shacked up with a civilian ship. Boarding, I ask for Rake, they say they don't have him, I say I'm going to shoot everybody (evil character), they say "oh nevermind he's right here," he shoots everyone, and then I shoot him. Yo ho.

After that, Naeva decided I was one cold sonofabitch and invited me to The Key, Crimson's Fleet main hideout. Here I met their leader, Delgado, and realized terribly quickly that things were gonna be a lot less violent than I was anticipating.

Before setting you loose, and constantly as you report back to his bitch ass, Ikande urged me to avoid killing anyone. Seeing as he was a space cop, I ignored this. I'm about to join a gang of space pirates whose canned NPC text is twenty four variations of "hmm I think I'll have murder for dinner." Odds are slim we avoid violence.

Delgado's grand plan is finding the Space One Piece. Legend has it an old banking ship crashed out in wildspace some years ago, and the credits (bc we're in space) inside would set us up for life. It's very pirate-y to be hunting for treasure, okay, I get it. But space pirates? We'd be robbing a bank with extra steps. We're really building to a bunch of credits? This is not a game where money is hard to come by; half the NPCs are walking about with 1000 bucks minimum, and baby I'm running a pickpocket build.

ugh, fine, okay, treasure hunt. But I better get to plunder a few ships along the way.

Ice Planet with a bunch of bug enemies

(I didn't take any screenshots and couldn't find any online, so here's a picture of Greenland)

Our first mission was to go to the ice planet The Key orbits in order to find some leads on the ultimate treasure. This ice planet prison does lead to some lore on the Fleet, but man I was pitching a fit the whole time. I wanna plunderrrrrrrrrruh. Suffice to say my first impression of space pirate questing was not too exciting. All the enemies here are native bugs you gotta aim at the floor to shoot. Felt very wimpy, even when the big one showed up for a boss fight later.

But that's ignoring this quest's diamond in the rough, a man named Mathis:

He's also a Crimson Fleet initiate, just like me. When we landed on ice planet the game started feeding me all these dialogue options to antagonize Mathis. Unprompted, mind you. It's always trying to underhand me some bad guy options, and this time they were all "fuck Mathis" flavored. I thought it was funny, so I picked them every time. This got Mathis quite heated with me, and to put the candle on this filler episode birthday cake, Mathis and I found ourselves on the other side of a cave in, separated from the rest of the pirates. Here's when he dropped all the antagonism and immediately dealt me into his plan: kill Delgado. Why he wanted to do this, I still don't know. Why he would invite me in on the plan, even though we hate each other, I wish I knew. But I wasn't exactly loyal to Delgado, by any means. That, and when Mathis brought this up I started to turn around on the guy. Thought "wow, Mathis doesn't fuck around. Maybe he's alright."

From then on, Mathis and I were pals. We killed bugs, found sick gamer loot, and he was over the moon when I told (lied to) Delgado he was one hell of a pirate. Not that killing bugs in a space prison would prove this, anyway. But Delgado was happy with our work, and from then on we were Crimson Fleet bona fides (the way I'm pronouncing that is a secret, oohohohohoho). Soon after this, Mathis pulled me aside and suggested we drop that "killing Delgado" business. It was never brought up again. Still dunno if I would've gone through with it or not. Probably would've.

Siren of the Snores

(not my screenshot)

I haven't been super clear on what this ultimate treasure is, and I have to be now for any part of this next mission to make sense.

Kryx' Legacy is the name. All I knew at the start was it's a bunch of credits. Come to find out, Kryx is the founder of the Crimson Fleet and Legacy is the name of a GalBank ship lost in an unknown nebula. I said this earlier but I wanna be super clear right now. A high ranking GalBank executive, with the credentials needed to get inside the bank's archives (housing the final known location of the Legacy) is currently lounging on a big space yacht. This is the Siren of the Stars and my goodness is it a snoozer of a quest. And it shouldn't be! It's perfectly in line with my character build! Even so! Even sooo!!!

It's a whole process just getting to this executive guy. Gotta talk to all the patrons until one of them decides to tell you something useful. Then you talk to his mistress, then you talk to some third guy, then you talk to... whatever his name was. It's talking in circles with one--maybe two--persuasion checks. On one save, I went postal. Killed everyone on the stupid ship and got the info I needed. Only to discover my Crimson Fleet contact inside the ship, guy by the name of Rokov, got scared(?) and locked himself inside a room I couldn't open??? Sorry, Rokov the space pirate, is this not your speed?

Ugh. Loaded a save and did the quest orthodox. After one lap of this damn boat I was sick to death of it. Seven laps later I was thinking of quitting the Fleet. They talk a big game. You're in for life or you're dead, sucker. Or else what, Naeva? You're gonna send three ships at a time every six hours? Execute this (picture me flippin her the bird. Hell yea).

Quick thing about Naeva Mora: she gave me an optional goal in this quest. Steal an expensive award set with precious space diamonds. Only one woman on board had access to the award. But I, the silver tongued devil of the stars, was able to persuade her into giving me the key to the vault. You ask, how. How did you, a space pirate dressed in rags, convince a stuffy lady on an expensive pleasure cruise to just give me her multimillion dollar trinket? I don't know. This is the most absurd persuasion check in the game, so far.

From there I jetted over to New Atlantis and snuck my way inside the GalBank archives. There was less money to steal than you would think but I suppose this isn't the vault. Killed some mercs, got the location.

How are we doing on heist missions over here?

So we've got the location of the Legacy, but no way to get close. See, it's in a hazardous nebula that'd fry any normal ship that dares approach. The cynical man would assume the game's solution was some novelty ship part that protects from the nebula and has zero function outside of this questline. And sometimes cynics are correct.

We need the ComSpike, dammit! What's a ComSpike? I forget. Protects ships from bad nebula juju. I'm not knocking the story for details that I forget, to be clear. Nor was I happy that the pirates were sending me off on another secret heist. In fairness, I didn't have to do these missions the way the game suggested. I could go postal on every facility I'm told to infiltrate (more on that later). But because I was so oddly punished for doing so on the last quest, that led me to assume some approaches were preordained. The Crimson Fleet has connections to uphold (WHY).

Whatever. I go to New Atlantis and talk to Huan Daiyu, pictured above. She's a smuggler, owns a pretty cool ship called the Jade Swan (am I a bad person for predicting her ship would be called the Jade Something?). I'm gonna bum a ride to her next dropoff, dropping off myself and sneaking aboard a research station that just so happens to be working on that ComSpike technology. In the opening steps of this quest, I encountered the first real Bethesda Moment of this game.

Picture this: I'm on the intercom with Huan. She tells me I need to find a keycard to get to the next level of this station. In her dialogue, explicitly, she suggests picking someone's pocket. Well, you read my mind, Huan. Just so happens I've been dumping skill points into pickpocketing...

Imagine my deflation when I had checked every pocket in that damn storage room, only to find the keycard was on a table and only accessible by talking to multiple guards in a specific sequence. Let's be really nice and say not all of Huan's suggestions are going to work. Dynamic world, indeed! I'm gonna throw myself out the airlock!

Throughout the infiltration I was only answering Huan's calls to be nice. Couldn't trust one bit of advice from her after that. She's not a reliable source. So I throw on a security uniform, talk my way into the engineering bay, find the ship fitted with the ComSpike, and perform a high-precision shipjacking outta there. Not an ounce of booty plundered, not a doubloon to be seen. What a life, the pirate's life.

We have Night City at home

It only occurred to me in this mission. Something that should've occurred to me about three heist missions ago.

The NPCs in this game are so fucking mean, all the time.

It's not even prompted. Mathis, I get. I was busting his chops something fierce. But everyone else is just off rip "wassup dickshit, I'm Suzy Cosmonaut, and you're dirt on my boot. Hows about you go find a USB stick but hey don't forget to kiss my ass on your way out."

What am I supposed to do? I say something rude back. What, I'm supposed to take that? My dream was to fill my ship with my best buddies in the galaxy but I think I mostly hate all of these people.

Ugh. I fly off to Neon. Great city name, guys. This must be the criminal underbelly. Where do you think they shack up? The part of Neon literally called the Underbelly? And what do you suppose this crime syndicate is called?

Neon is a city built out of placeholder names. Indistinguishable from any cyberpunk town in all of fiction. Uninspiring place. One of my character traits is being from here, which is more embarrassing than the city I'm actually from irl. But fuck it, whatever, let's ride.

Estelle Vincent is my contact in Neon. She knows where I can find the schematics for the conduction grid the Fleet will need to access nebula space. But she won't give that info for free! Nothing comes cheap in Neon, baby!

I was in full Fuck It mode by this point of the questline. My promise for this quest was to kill everybody I could get away with killing (more, on, that, later). So when Estelle wants me to go talk to Generdyne executive Ayumi Komiko about gaining access to their computers, well... sorry Ayumi. Victim of circumstance.

After Ayumi was super dead, I stomped over to Generdyne with her access card and opened fire. Terrible scene, no survivors, yo-ho-ing all the way. One must imagine justice served somewhere in this--no doubt cancelled out by the rest of the carnage. But whatever. This is the piratiest I've felt so far. I shoot my way to the top floor, where the brother of the CEO just gives up the computer. Turns out he hates his stupid CEO brother and I should probably kill him too. Noted.

When I go to meet back with Estelle, that Generdyne CEO is sitting in her place. He offers me a deal to sell out Estelle, which I refuse. Estelle was my test subject, to see if I could make someone less mean to me by sticking my neck out. I lied and said it was all me, he didn't believe me, I put a shotgun to his temple and realized he's an essential NPC and cannot be killed. Party's over.

After this, would you believe it, Estelle did like me! I only had to sell myself out in her place and pay her like 9000 credits for like no reason. But I turned someone around. Now it was time to finally get me treasure.

The One Piece Is Real

I'm gonna bring this up now before I forget. Periodically, after every heist or so, I was instructed (by the quest markers, not anyone else) to report back to the UC Vigilance and Commander Ikande. Because this is also Point Break and I'm technically a government agent. Despite me showing no loyalty, lying to his face every chance I had, insulting him and his crew, and straight up shooting his flagship twice, I was Ikande's spy on the inside and expected to give report. The whole questline I was looking for outs. Some reason to cut these dorks off and go full pirate. To my knowledge, there's scarce ways of doing this. Won't say there isn't one, just nothing immediately obvious.

Until now.

I'm called to the bridge and Ikande's super pissed about my Neon killing spree. Just steaming mad. So mad he's ready to terminate this deal and send me to jail. I give his crew the rope-a-dope and run back to my ship, just barely shootin out of there. Exciting! Felt appropriately climax-ey, and it's genuinely cool that was a moment I could orchestrate with my own choices.

No time to lose. I'm off to Kryx' Legacy while the rest of the Fleet at the Key gets ready for the UC Vigilance to come knocking. Should've guessed I'd also be getting the ultimate treasure alone. This was so far the most impressive setpiece of the game. The thundering of the space lightning outside while I navigated the dead stranded spaceship was sufficiently immersive. I was immersed, for the first time in this game, and I was savoring this moment. The flashlight was on, people.

It's sci fi, so all this treasure is loaded onto an external hard drive. Look, I didn't need a big wooden chest with gold doubloons spilling out but I shouldn't be able to fit a bajillion dollars in my backpack. As soon as I have the treasure, the ship is critically damaged and I gotta skedaddle. I'm always down for a "flee the facility" type mission and this one delivers. Hop back in my ship, make just enough distance to avoid the magnificent explosion of the Legacy, and now all that's left is to get the gold home. Easily the best quest in the Crimson Fleet, no contest.

And now, the worst quest in the Crimson Fleet

angry emoji angry emoji devil horn emoji angry emoji

Right when I get back to the Key, Delgado tells me the UC Vigilance is knocking at out doors. It's now or never, them or us. Turns out, had I not burned that bridge earlier, I would've had the choice of fighting for either the space pirates or the space cops. My decision had been made hours ago, and that aforementioned bridge was aforementionably burnt. We're fighting for the pirates, gah dammit.

Oh my god

Who playtested this. Still riding in the starter ship, I was now tasked with fighting off like a half dozen ships double my level and working off WWII flying ace AI. I died, and I counted, nine times. Half of which in the first two minutes. oooooh, gamer rage. By attempt ten, and sorry for breaking my own immersion, by I jumped outta that part of space, over to a shipwright, and got my weapons upgraded along with a new shield. I could barely squeeze out a win with this boost. No I did not lower the difficulty because I shouldn't have to, dammit, and yes this put and impenetrable stank on the final leg of this questline.

One silver lining to all this: I'm a reincorporation loving person, and was delighted to see all those pirates I had worked with across the questline suddenly swooping in for the final stand. Cinematic stuff, I loved it. Mathis was there, Rokov was there (who?), Huan was there, Estelle was there. Even Adler Kemp was there. I didn't even mention him, he seemed so inconsequential. But he showed up! Love that sort of thing.

We in tandem blow away the auxiliary space cops (not for lack of gamer rage) and board the Vigilance to kill Ikande. High energy firefight, this. I'm constantly impressed by the number of players in any one fight, in this game. Back in the Skyrim xbox 360 days, I remember doing the civil war questline and going "wow, there's like twenty NPCs in this thing." In Starfield, that number's the standard. Truly next gen, amiright guys.

Me and my friends blow our way through the Vigilance, I spend like ten minutes looking for a healing item of some sort, free some prisoners, and eventually we're at the bridge. The game even leaves in some briefs moments where I can chat with all the friends[citation needed] I made along the way. Me and Huan high five. There wasn't an animation for this or anything, but I imagine we did a jumping high five. Excuse me for roleplaying. Me and Mathis bump hips.

At the bridge, and really I should've seen this coming, there's a dialogue with Commander Ikande. The honorable man he is, Ikande calls for his crew to abandon ship and plans to self-destruct the Vigilance with all of us on it. There's precious little time to talk him out of this, and scarce options for doing so. But I'm a gangster, and have exclusive ganger dialogue options. So I have the option of telling Ikande "hey, cancel the self destruct or we're gonna torture your crew," thinking this would open up more dialogue.

But he chickens out right here. Goes "okay, fine, I'll cancel it just don't hurt my crew." And like, dude. We've been hurting your crew. They're all dead, actually. This is the most empty threat possible in this situation and this disciplined space cop chief buckles at my first threat. What a guy. We take him prisoner and the Vigilance is ours. Supreme Victory.

I deeeeed it

Here comes my favorite part of any Bethesda questline epilogue. When all the celebration dialogue is exhausted and all the NPCs just start to aimlessly wander away, throwing out a few more canned "wahoo we did it" lines. It's a joy, I'm so glad Starfield still does this.

Delgado gets me my cut of the Legacy: 200k credits. This feels like a lot of money for this point in the game. I have seen ships that cost twice this, but it's a decent reward all the same. That, and I had picked up plenty of paychecks along the way, so my ultimate takeaway is bigger.

Best of all, Naeva doesn't think I'm lower than dirt anymore. She gives me a cool Crimson Fleet jacket and a room on the Key. I promptly placed one chair down in the dead center of the room. Home. Naeva's a classic NPC who talks a herculean game and does jack shit the whole questline. I warmed up to her.

With my new credits, I bought a Crimson Fleet Phantom ship, and hired my first crew member. Finding him piss drunk in the Key's bar, I threw my arm around the shoulder of good ol' Mathis and offered him a place on my ship. He agreed, now my best buddy and no longer wishing to kill Delgado. I also tried to get Huan on my crew, but I guess she's got her own thing going on. I wished her well, Mathis and I cleared out bounties, and we took off for our next adventure.

Crimson Fleet: In Conclusion

Pretty mixed on this. While there's a pretty strong ending despite the awful awful HORRIBLE ship battle, everything leading up to this felt distinctly un-pirate. As if the game wasn't comfortable with me going morally undercarriage. Odd stance to take, with the space pirate questline, but this is the studio that watered down the Dark Brotherhood (I said it). While the gameplay loop is showing me some promise, I was always feeling like I had to fight the game to play it my way. Maybe I take this as a lesson: I gotta commit to the type of character I wanna be. The game will attempt to lure me away, but I gots to be evil.

My next questline is the Freestar Rangers, and only because that's the first major one I was introduced to apart from the main quest. See ya there, I say shooting away in my new spaceship which you're gonna have to imagine.

#starfield #sorry for the bad grammar #im drinking cognac like water #crimson fleet

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jils-things · 3 months

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❨♡❩ valentine's week ; familial day

familials have been such an important factor in my time as a selfshipper recently because i truly came to appreciate what is familial love. it's just that really nice feeling of pride and appreciation for someone you really care about. i'm excited to say that i have a lot in my roster to share! reading isn't mandatory for anyone viewing - writing my feelings help me articulate my words well.

first and probably my most important one yet is ruby stone! at first, I wasn't really interested in the whole "he's my son concept" but i just knew that ruby was an instant favorite of mine after reading the manga. it's funny, because i actually did kin him at one point (i mean, i can still say i kin him but because i'm a selfshipper first, manga consumer second. i see him as my son more). i see myself a lot in him especially in his flaws. but because a friend told me it would be fun if i had called him a familial, it wouldn't be so bad (and steven is also there. wouldn't it be a cute family?). i initially drafted jaide stone and ruby to just be friends but ruby has a special attachment to her (due to his personal issues with his father) but that shit changed FAST and thus, ruby stone was born. i adore my silly boy, he makes me so happy and i admire his character. he's different from the other protagonists and it makes him stand out all the more. I'm so proud of him, his whole story made me so emotional and i just want to hug him and let him know everything's okay and he has every right to be who he wants.

am i allowed to talk about my husband? i mean he IS ruby's father so,,, heheh. ill keep it short or else it becomes a romantic love letter to my hunni sorry 😚 anyways i always imagined steven to want to have kids and ruby was the best thing he ever asked for. he's so proud of him too. they went through a rough patch as a father and son but things gotten better and they're very happy to call each other family. 💚

ahh, my favorite silly stinky little brother. gold! this one's got a long history. i was always a big fan of ethan/gold as a protagonist in the games. but i had no idea that this version ethan (or as the manga calls him, gold.) was simply the best for me. he's got this special spark that really checks off my list of what makes a character my favorite! just like ruby, i also see myself a lot in him. (heck, even my sister thinks i'm super gold-coded) he was so shaped to be my best friend or little brother, and i picked the latter. he's probably the most comedic, and has a very deep emotional side that i like to philosophize about. po.kespe kids are written with much difficulty and he's no exception. if i had a brother, i feel like this is how i would treat him.

okay this one's gonna be SUPER confusing which i'll apologize over and over again i'm so sorry 😭😭 for this one, i'd like go introduce blake and nate (respectively). these two are completely different from each other, but i still have this maternal/big sister care for both of them. just like gold - nate is one of my favorite protagonists by game and learning their personalities in both manga and game (pkmn masters ex) made me adore them even more. i think ilynne (oc) is the first girl who has more priority over familial and platonics than romantics. i think that's very cool! it's hard to say everything here why i love both versions but if you took a look for yourself, maybe you'll understand hehe. (also, nate just has the BEST protagonist design. hello? who wouldn't love him? definitely not me!!!!) it was only because of pkmn masters ex that made me like nate a lot. his voicelines makes me feel so comforted like that's just a really happy boy! he sounds so excited for everything and his giggles just cleanse my soul 😭 i could pat his head all day. silly pineapple boy. blake just... i dunno man. it's probably because i already liked his base design so naturally I'd like his manga ver too 😭 they pulled a wildcard in designing this kid like he's a fuckin agent!!! that's so cool!!! hes a fuckin hater!!! look at him go i can fix the edgy kid !!! by being his mom!!! (lore accurate btw)

ah yes. the most fanbase developed kid ever. it's carmine! this kid is so special. his entire existence came from a fan created f.n.f mod and everyone ran with it - just like me. i remember constantly keeping tabs with this mod and i was always curious to know what carmine has in his story - playing the mod itself was such a pleasant surprise. my whole attention was shifted to carmine's story - it's rewritten slightly to make the creepypasta more impactful and it certainly did make me feel sympathetic for the little guy. giving him the sweetest and admired big brother to love and care for him was the best design i ever thought of. after the devs added more story, it made me feel all the more protective of carmine. unfortunately he's not the most lively boy around as he's bullied for his insignificance. i would do anything to let him know he's loved. (AGGRESSIVELY FORGETS THE PART WHERE HE'S PAINFULLY POSSESSED BY THE FUCKIN GHOST BEGONE!!!!)

i think what also powered how much i love carmine was the endless support i got from the actual fans of the mod on twt. even the devs approved it and it made me feel so happy and reassured that it's okay to appreciate him (it was actually a little nerve-wracking to post rhys and carmine on twt because carmine is... technically an oc). that's why i describe carmine to be a special kind of fo. he's an oc of a mod and that's pretty neat

those are my main familials, but i'd also like to give a shoutout to my secondary familials!

when i tell you there's so many cool characters in this game I wasn't JOKING. these guys are so... AUGHH i feel like they would be the best guys to have around to make my day better. looker is more uncle shaped to me, he's not exactly the BEST caretaker (shh i know emma) but i know he's trying his best. it's hard to juggle being an agent and a friend but i understand that and i appreciate his efforts. playing platinum to see this guy appear, i just KNEW he's gonna be the coolest. and i wasnt wrong! he's associated with my oc ilynne along with blake! for po.kespe consumers, yes - they are all coworkers!

professor sy.camore is definitely a father figure to me. i love his enthusiasm and i know he's the best guy to cheer someone up. his cheerfulness is endless and he literally mentors 4 kids, if he can do that then surely he can make my day better (a miserable young adult /jjj) i really wanted to make a kalosian oc for him. i envisioned the oc to be an ex team flar.e member who wanted to renew herself from her past deeds (as she was foolish to not understand lysandre's grand plan) and sy.camore was there to rescue her from her crisis and helped her start somewhere by being a student under his care. they would develop a father-daughter dynamic and i think that's very sweet 🥺💚

in case you noticed. my main familials are a case of like ... me wanting to nurture them. but my secondaries are the other way around and it's like... what if i was the one being nurtured and cared for? pretty cool...

that's all for today. thank you familials 💚

#~ rambling #~ lovemail #ruby.fam #gold.fam #carmine.fam #i accidentallu posted it and im pretty sure its not even the right time in most timezones but ohh welll #nate.fam #blake.fam #looker.plat #sycamore.fam

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nolanrossblog · 1 year

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Game Hammers

HELLO! This is the first-ever-world-renowned Game Hammers blog. There are 2 Developers on this week's post, they are hopefully going to be on future blogs as well. The developers of this blog will track their progress in the week and whatever difficulties they encountered. The mission of this blog is to create a good environment for learning and exploring. Nolam This week I was working on a witch game, so I started by creating a new unity project with some cubes. I want to set it up to be a 2.5D sort of space, where you can move left and right but also see the depth of scenes, kinda like Tomba. In this project, I set up some core mechanics like wall jumping, ledge grabbing, moving, regular jumping, and some scaffolding for more complicated things like combat.

Here you can see the little block guy finding his way in life. In my progress towards moving, I thought it would suit the game to add a sliding mechanic for rails. So you can like, slide on rails. For this, I turned to splines - which I would later regret. If you don't know what a spline is: it's a bendy line. Bendy lines are very useful but very complicated as well.

This was an attempt at a homemade spline made with the help of chat GPT. It was very rudimentary and I abandoned it after realizing unity has built-in splines. All of this so that I could make a bendy banister. For about 4 days I farted around and wasted my time with this, realizing that it's probably better to just do an easier straight line anyways. Whoops! After that cr*p, I tried to find a new productive avenue - so I went towards making some art.

The game is about a witch who has to clean a house with her broom, and crossing my vision with Flodo's, I was able to come up with a model of the character, after an interesting attempt.

that attempt ended up having cool hands, but they likely are to forever rot on my hard drive. This attempt, however, was much nicer despite having no fingers to speak of.

The character ended up having a poofy outfit that looks very warm on her - which I like a lot. I did lots of new things making this like faces and hair, and have been trying to improve my topology. Yesterday, my parents left on vacation and I am in charge of my 3 siblings. It's going to be a difficult week ahead - going back to school and stuff - so I'm excited to see what progress I can make in school and with modeling and game design. PS. Grammarly on tumblr is booty.

Spebby Hey there! This is the Spebby section of the weekly Game Hammers Blog. Like my compatriots, Nolam and Flodo, I’ll be rattling on about what I’ve been learning and doing this week of my life. It’s midterm season, and I’ve been hard at work on studying up. My focus has mostly been upon Calculus, with a focus on Parametrics, Polar Graphs and Surface Area of Rotation. I’m feeling pretty good about my study actually, I have a pretty good grasp on Integration and Convergence, and this midterm’s topics are pretty similar, so I think I’ll be all good! While studying Polar Graphs, I came across a pattern I particularly like, which I’ve dubbed “The Lotus”. Not a super original name, but I think it fits. I accidentally stumbled across this one, the function that creates it is 4cos(5θ/13). A render of it can be found below.

Outside of Calculus, what else have I been working on? As a stinky Comp-Sci major, I’ve been working on that. I’m still fresh meat. I very much appreciate my CS professor. He’s quite willing to throw us into the deep and push the limits of what our little brains can think of. I’m pretty brash, so I don’t quite give each assignment the thought I probably should. Learning about in-line assembly arguments and how to effectively use them, proper memory management, creating truly class-agnostic functions and how to write fast and efficient code. I find programming quite fulfilling and therapeutic honestly. Making something run faster and figuring out why something wasn’t working quite how I suspected is always quite the reward.

I’ve unfortunately not had much time to work on programming in the lens of game development. Perhaps Nolam has better time management than I do, he always seems to find time to crank out another prototype. Prototyping is quite the art, I’ve never really had to write something from scratch like that, Flodo or Nolam have always beaten me to the bunch in regards to these sorts of things. At some point it’s on my todo list to get cracking with a prototype. I’ve found it frustrating being limited on what I can feasibly do in a project, but to be honest that’s given me some liberty to get the creative juices flowing and try something wacky within my limitations.

Continuing the theme of academics, outside of my STEM major, I’ve been trying to take some interesting humanities classes. Anthropology has been an interest of mine for awhile, at first I thought only Cultural Anthropology would interest me, but Primatology and other Biological Anthropology subdisciplines have proven to be even more interesting to me. Learning about how odd humans are from an evolutionary perspective, and the adaptations that were taken in order to allow for our unique form of movement or perhaps our ancient ancestors, those of Selam, Toumaï and Platyops. Anthropology is such an interesting subject; If you have the ability, enroll in an Anthropology class, they’re super interesting and can teach you a lot about the world and perhaps change your worldview.

I could go on and on, but I feel it’s best to bring this entry to a close. Be catching you next week. Perhaps we could have a longer chat, no?

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halftiredobsessions · 2 years

Note

down bad for seer huh 😔

SJDJSHKSJSKSJSK IS THIS ABOUT THE ASK MEME OR DID YOU JUST SEE MY TAGS 😭

listen I’m gonna pretend it’s the ask meme because YES I am down bad and I want to talkramble about him

However I don’t pay much attention to the lore and I trust myself so little I actually made an entire Apex AU where I can say the Legends do anything because the game is populated by androids, so I’m gonna do the ask meme based on an ✨android✨ I made of Seer I like so in case any of my takes are stinky it’s not, Him him. You get it right. I’ve had a bad day,

so anyway A: realistic headcanon, Nines (he has the Aces High skin my beloved) is very attentive. He notices minuscule changes in your heartbeat and uses that to gauge how you’re feeling and how he should proceed; in his relationships, he is very understanding and patient.

This also applies to situational awareness? It’s hard to catch Nines off-guard (looking at you, Rev, get down from the ceiling) and, I know his tactical gets bamboozled by Mirage’s kit but the Ult does make decoy footsteps White instead of yellow and I love the idea of Seer always winning the “cup game”.

B: not realistic but funny, Seer doesn’t take his hat off. Like ever. This is technically a distinction between Nines and Seer, as Nines will take his hat off at the dining table/during a meal but Seer will not. Simplest reason why is that he doesn’t want someone *cough*Octane*cough* to take it, or perhaps it fits into the whole Outcast thing, you know? Either way, thing is glued to his head.

C: heart-crushing and awful! I’m really not sure what to say here. Sometimes with characters I’ll add a little trauma, you know, for projection or Flavor, but Something about Seer makes that difficult. Maybe because I can’t imagine much bothering him? With Nines, his biggest problem might come from a potential relationship, where his patience backfires; if his love isn’t ready for a relationship yet, he will wait for them, no matter how long it takes for them to be ready. I can imagine that would lead to loneliness.

With Seer himself, of course, you could argue the whole “being an outcast”/“being called cursed” thing hurts more than he lets off, and silently he constantly feels like an outsider amongst his peers, unable to truly relate to anyone... whiiich is where the ~projection~ comes in.

D: unrealistic! Literally all of my headcanons about the Legends fit into this one. Maybe? It’s subjective. The most unrealistic thing about Nines in particular is how Aggressive he can be. Part of this is based off of my play-style, where I’m trying to keep up with my friends that like to push, and I’m less Ambushing and more Hauling ass to delete someone with a Spitfire. In the AU, this translates to Nines being Very ready to quickdraw with his Wingman and threaten your life, Provided you’ve threatened his friends first.

I’m not sure if I see Seer himself as being aggressive or, possessive. My friend and I have played around with the idea that, if someone he liked were to interact with others, he would Stare as a way to express jealousy. Probably Unrealistic, though.

#thank you for the ask!#sorry it took me a bit to answer #why am I so insecure about my takes?#simple! I’m insecure about everything!#but anyway I finally found a loophole #apex legends #apex legends seer #obi edolasim #just for fun #apex headcanons #ok ily have a nice day 🧡

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kaldorei-shadows · 1 year

Text

Hexphae, Time-lost Shieldmaiden of Stromgarde

Al's new mission is to help someone dangerously beautiful and very, uh... special.

Alessandre didn't like dealing with Mattias Shaw. The Human was full of himself, and being a spymaster, a spymaster for Stormwind, made him worse off than most. Well, Al conceded he had his own vanity, few in the roguish line of work were lacking in confidence. (Al remembered how he had insisted on being called something better than master rogue if he was going to share the title with two colleagues, for example.)

However, Al was furious at Shaw for giving him mission orders, to his face, as if the Kaldorei worked under him. A ridiculous notion that the Alliance badly needed to shed, if they all were going to be actual allies. Treating whole races of people like your personal errand boys, rather than it being a real collaboration, just rubbed Al the wrong way.

"Not that everything needs to be run by a council vote, but I don't need to be sent and fetched!" Al let his complaining be as loud as he liked. The other rogues lingering in the halls of the SI:7 headquarters turned their heads as the tall, darkly handsome Night Elf spymaster headed into Matthias Shaw's office.

Al's friend... frenemy, Sharpen Jadescythe, anyway, he was an in-law, once told a story about punching Shaw in the face. Sharpen's outrageous tale had also involved wrestling sharks, and kicking a Dwarf in the face too during a botched SI:7 Seals swim test, all planned by Shaw himself. Al, seeing Shaw's prickish 'I own your secrets' grin again after so long, fully believed the stinky fish tale was true.

Al glared.

"Have a seat, please."

Al didn't sit.

Then, it was awkward, as both men had something to prove. Shaw could hold the entire meeting hostage, Al began to realize. Then again, Shaw surely knew that Triumvir Alessandre Shademoon was among the most vocal Night Elves petitioning Tyrande and Malfurion to withdraw from the Alliance. It was all because of how the War of the Thorns got botched, leaving the Kaldorei with far less support than many believed they should after putting so much into the Alliance over a lifetime.

"Standing is better for one's health anyway. I hear," Shaw let out a breath, drummed fingers on his desk. "I'll begin, then. There is someone we can't officially handle--"

"But the Kaldorei are fine with getting their hands soiled by messy Human matters?"

"Hear me out. It's for the good of everyone that we hold Arathi, Stromgarde especially, and keep the Forsaken in check. A wayward kingdom of Undead were being ruled by Galen Trollbane until recently, if you recall."

Al remembered it. He'd hated hearing about the rise of another cult-like kingdom hungry for revenge, under a demagogue like Sylvanas. It had been a tenuous waiting game to see if these Undead were going to be more loyal to their Human predecessors or the Forsaken of the Horde.

Al still wasn't saying anything useful. Shaw itched his scalp, smoothed red hair back, "There is a contact I want you to make, who has invaluable knowledge of the Arathi Highlands. Not just strategic knowledge, but a real grasp over the history, the ancient rituals, the tribal, uh, magic used around that time. Much of it was lost when Humans turned to the arcane teachings of the Elves."

Al smirked, "You mean the Highborne, specifically the Quel'dorei. My people were not involved, we were on a whole other continent."

Shaw snapped his fingers as if he'd simply forgot the name of a particular flower or something. "Nice! Thank you."

Al went to leave, "You've mixed us up at your own peril. Go talk to one of Alleria's lapdogs."

"I can't!" Shaw stood from his desk. "Hexphae dislikes the Quel'dorei."

"Oh, I see..."

"You don't see, actually," Shaw came around his desk quickly. "She never liked arcane magic. One of those odd sorts there to witness Humans use magic for the first time, at the dawn of time, and resent it so much, she quit Arathorian society and never returned. She's the daughter of shamans. Or, we think she is."

"Well, she and I can agree on one thing. I'm not so sure about having the Highborne back, using magic in our cities the way they do. What is left of our cities. "

"But, Al. Your people have learned to accept the magic users of the Alliance. If you could persuade Hexphae to do the same?"

Al paced away from Shaw, lingered near an interesting looking bookshelf, "It has to do with reining in the Forsaken and it has to do with someone who dislikes the Humans about as much as I do right now. I can see why you singled me out for this mission. But you're forgetting one little thing, Shaw." Then, at last, Al sat. Put his feet up on the edge of Shaw's desk. "What’s in it for me?"

Shaw came over quickly, pulled the other chair close. Al mused at how Shaw resembled a used cart salesman, but didn't realize it. "We want to hold Arathi, for good this time. Aggression with the Horde over this land is supposed to be over."

Al nodded, "Supposed to be. But I'm a posioner, a killer, a man who wants an independent Kaldorei nation that can fend for itself."

Shaw squinted an eye, "I hate to tell you that Night Elf world-domination ended with Azshara."

"I wonder how much insult you think I'll take, cornered in your office, before my dart-throwing arm begins to twitch."

Shaw was menacing, "Get over yourself, Al."

"I still don't hear my incentive on the wind."

"This is all about runestones. This potential contact, Hexphae, must know all about them. We're sure she does. Those are supposed to be deep underground beneath Arathi, all over the plains. It turns out, runestone magic predates arcane magic. Ancient Quel'dorei and Humans, even shamanistic Humans, were able to use runestones. But that's a secret forbidden to us in Stormwind even now."

"Well, your sin'dorei spy network broke down under Sylvanas." Al leaned in, his fine black leather creaked, "You telling me that the Quel'dorei or Void Elf contacts the Humans got a hold of won't betray tradition, either? Ha! Good luck!"

Shaw defended himself as Al got up, edged his way out of the office. "That runestone tech would be invaluable, to all of us, ontop of everything else! Al, don't be a stubborn ass like always. We are so close to results. Just go and see her for me. Please!"

Al strutted down the halls of SI:7, with Shaw yelling for him to just listen. But maybe it was for show. Maybe both of them knew it was the only way to end that meeting with neither man losing face. It was a bitter situation, asking any Kaldorei for a political favor these days. Beyond the loss of Darnassus, the shame was great. Night Elves were strapped for manpower, resources. There wasn't much they could contribute to the Alliance, among those who still wanted to. That nagged at Al as well. He covered up for it pretty well with his lofty ideals, but the reality was, the Kaldorei were coming up short. Alliance superfriends or not, it couldn't last.

Anyway, if Shaw was as good as everyone claimed, then Shaw saw the light in Al's eyes when the word 'runestone' was mentioned. Al played it off as well as he could.

Runestones kept the Quel'dorei safe from the Scourge and nearly every other threat for thousands of years. It took espionage and assembling a fifth pillar among the elite, Dar'khan, to infiltrate and get the runestones down at long last. Arthas Menethil had done that.

But what about in an era of mortals who had learned better? In an era where Arthas and the Dar'khans of the world had been defeated? Runestones had been done so well, proven true before. What if the Night Elves used them this time, to seal their lands? Or, great swaths of Kalimdor? Hell, why not all of it? Al wasn't ashamed of his greed when it came to protecting his people.

So, Shaw had to be left thinking that Al wasn't voraciously interested in this plan. At least, for now. Never let a rival know when they've got you in the palm of their hand.

Later, in Duskwood...

Al spent a few days at the Duskwood inn before he realized Shaw meant it when he said the Human woman Hexphae was a hermit. With no sign of her, the almost wild woman was apparently happier in a tent surrounded by feral Worgen and spiders, than inside the walls of civilization.

After scouting her out in the forests, Al literally dug himself a pit downwind of Hexphae and laid in it for a day, before he caught sight of her. That would have been the other reason Shaw wanted Al on this mission. He'd lived for an age as a hermit himself. He knew the mentality.

Rather than approach her outright, Al played it safe. He built a fire and cooked a delicious-smelling dinner. However wild this cave woman was, it would be better to meet on her terms, not trespass into what would be seen as her own territory. And he'd hidden well just beyond her doorstep till now. Any hermit would at least investigate. It was like waving a white flag from across a battlefield.

Around suppertime, this tall brown-skinned woman with bare, muddy legs walked into Al's camp. She was armed, but didn't have any of her weapons in hand. He also noticed that she was far from some tribal savage. Al had assumed animal skins would be involved.

He beheld a true daughter of Arathor, wearing thick, but finely crafted armor. The ancient plate was done over in runes that had a dull glisten, as if the metal was aware, sort of alive. She wore light cloth skirt beneath the wide betal belt.

Time-lost, definitely. She somehow had stumbled out of a rift from her time, into this one. She'd got beneath the gaze of the Bronze Dragonflight so far. Or, she was using powerful means to hide herself from them. Al would need to deduce that, fast. He had no intention of getting involved in some dramatic Twilight Dragon war.

"Hail."

That greeting reminded Al of an Orc or a Tauren.

"Evening." Then, he gestured for her to sit and share his fire.

"You know my name. You've been sent."

Al thought over how to handle this. Pretty quickly, they had both got on the same page. As if she were a decent spy as well. He told himself that it was just good instinct, from living outdoors. You always had to work out where and why you had new neighbors near your camp, man or animal.

"Hexphae, I believe. But am I pronouncing that right, my lady?" Al hoped charm worked in any age.

She warmed to him. She relaxed her shoulders. But Hexphae wouldn't sit just yet. "You're not Human."

"Does that make you trust me more? Or less?"

"Did the other Humans send you?"

Al couldn't hide how that irked him. This made her smile. She sat down and reached for the venison Al had roasting over the fire. She used her own knife to carve off a piece.

"You're not the first one they sent. But you are the first who didn't worship this Shaw idiot. They speak of him like some god. No man is a god. No magic is some god to be worshipped. Also, all of them wanted my armor. Do you want my armor?"

Al blinked. That definitely came off as some kind of invitation, however subtle. Usually, he did rely on a little flirting to get what he wanted. It was a part of who he was as a person, he couldn't help how people, especially women, responded to him. And, well, he'd started it.

Al stretched out, folded arms beneath his head. "It is very fine armor. What is that made of, exactly?"

She chewed meat for a while. "No one ever asks if I'd like get home. This must mean... it cannot be done."

Al felt terrible about that. "You feel used, I can understand that. I'll level with you... it may be partially because, the same ones who would send you back may also punish you for being here at all."

Hexphae balked, greasy meat in one hand, dull gray knife in the other. "Who has the right to choose that! Or the power? To damn people for things beyond their control."

Al sighed, "Dragons."

"Those are real?? Well, I suppose like magical lanterns that turn themselves on with a flick of your wrist, and orbs for scrying on people. Portals that take you halfway across the realm. Damn magic! Damn Elves!"

Al chuckled, "My people resisted practicing, well, a sort of full-on magic until recently. I feel your pain."

"Hrmph!" Hexphae finished the meat she had. She glanced at Al, who nodded, before she went in for seconds. "I see you're a kind of Elf. But I never met one who cooked meat this good. It's like home, over a simple fire." She blinked, "This isn't magic, is it?"

Al shook his head.

"That's right! The way to a girl's heart is through her belly. This is deer. It is delicious."

"A Kaldorei recipe. My name is Alessandre Shademoon. Call me Al. My people worship the night, the stars. We were made to rely on Humans in recent memory. Before then, we were a great nation, and we did that on our own backs. We were not addicted to magic, like some others. Like the ones who came and taught magic to your people so long ago."

Hexphae ate more slowly, she was getting contemplative or full, hard to tell. "They worshipped the sun."

Al wasn't sure what to say next. He seemed to have Hexphae on his side, but he didn't want to go straight into asking for big favors. Right now, they felt like neighbors, having a chat.

"I am called Hexphae. But you must understand, it is not a name. It is who I am, it is what I do. My true name... that belonged to my family, my loved ones. That is lost."

Al decided to let the silence continue to work for him.

She wiped a hand on her mouth, and then her cloth skirt, as if remembering her ancient manners. "I know you want to learn about the runes beneath Arathi. My clan, we tended to those."

Al tried not to sing and do a dance right there. "So, the runestones do exist."

"You can guess my price for tending them again, and you can't cheat me. You'll never manage it on your own. There is no way down, no tunnels. It's in my blood, and my bones. When I die, and I must be the last of the Hexphae?" She looked off through the trees, "The secret of Human runestones will end with me."

Al nodded. He sat up, and cut free some meat for himself. It seemed rude now not to share, to deal with her like some lost, hungry animal.

They ate together and talked of the land, the stars, the seasons. The eternal and natural way of things, the things that never cease to make one wonder at the world, for some time.

Al decided to be straight with such a kindred soul, "So. You would risk dragons to go back home? And that's after helping me--us, that is. The Alliance. The Bronze dragons may forbid you to go back. Or, worse. You could get caught up in their squabbles with the Twilight dragons."

Hexphae bowed her head, hearing all that. "I miss the old ways. I want to revel in the runes again, before I die. It may be that the means justify my end."

"I see."

"And to be called my true name again, after so long. By my own people. Eventhough I walked away from them, back then. I must not give up hope."

Al gave Hexphae a hard look. "You may have to begin again. Many on Azeroth have found themselves in this same position, their old ways destoyed. It was hard, but they made a new life, new family. I am not saying that it is fair, nor easy to do. But that may be the real hopeful end to this."

It began to rain. Al grimaced.

"Come, Elf." She thumped her chest and gave a weird smile. "My tent is dry."

"Uh, I'll give you an example of what I mean. See this?" He hastened to get the damned stone out of his vest.

Hexphae flinched, and her hand went for her greasy stone knife in the dirt.

"No, it's alright!" Al ducked as the rain kept falling on them, "It's a hearthstone!"

"Oh, a little runestone, how cute!"

"Yes. Cute! That's what it is. Here, hold onto me and watch what it does. Perfect for situations like this one."

Hexphae was not opposed to going over and squeezing Al at his inviation. Something that made him flinch this time. "Uh, hold on! Here we go!"

Al used his hearthstone. Hexphae squealed like it was a thrill.

The green magic faded, and the warmth of Darkshire Inn was suddenly all around them.

"Yes!!! Do that again!" Hexphae was still hugging him.

"Eh, kind of a one-way trip. That's the point, a hearthstone takes you home." He was nice about it, and smiled until Hexphae let him go.

Then, she growled and snatched it. "Mine!"

Al looked over this cave woman he'd suddenly adopted. "Uh... innkeep? Can I get another hearthstone? Seems we're staying."

"Can you make more meat! Hexphae hungers!"

"Uh, and some stew please? Calm down, we're in a house, not a cage."

But then it occurred to Al that he was the one in a cage. At least until he could teach Hexphae to be indoors around other, modern people.

"And after the meal, we will wrestle!"

Then, maybe things might calm down? His wife Opal would kill him.

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skyeet-the-writer · 4 years

Text

The Love Among Us

Chapter 1-- I’d Never Snitch On Daddy

so i haven’t seen many corpse husband x reader stories on here, so i decided to upload one myself. i’ve been watching jacksepticeye’s among us videos and when i heard corpse talk for the first time, i was like, “hol up” and now i’ve been obsessed with him. also, go stream his music on spotify, it’s amazing. enjoy! x.

corpse husband x female!reader

summary: while playing among us, y/n watches corpse kill felix in o2. when his body is reported, however, she doesn’t tell who killed him.

word count: ~3.6k

warnings: swearing, mentions of death (not real death), mentions of murder (not real murder)

EDIT: before i wrote this and after i published it, i did not know that corpse did not like to be referred to as “daddy”. had i known this, i would have not even thought of posting this. and since i know now, i won’t refer to him as such in the future. thank you. (10/19/2020)

EDIT 2: this is the first part to my corpse x reader series. i will be adding chapters as we go!

next>

4 rounds before the incident

“I was in coms with PJ!” Sean exclaims.

“He is doing the liar voice!” Felix shouts with a laugh.

“I’m not,” Sean tries to say, but everyone talks over him and the voting time ends. Everyone left alive, though it was only four people, had all voted for him and he yells at them as he gets ejected.

stinky was not the imposter

2 imposters remain

The round ends and everyone unmutes themselves.

“Lizzie, you saw Felix kill me and you did nothing!” Roomie yells as soon as the round ends and the imposters are revealed.

“Yeah, because I was the other imposter.”

“Oh. Okay, well that makes sense.”

Everyone laughs and Ken starts the round again.

“Wait, can I invite y/n to play? She’s doing her twenty-four-hour stream and she just finished playing Monopoly with Mark, Bob, and Wade,” says Lizzie, looking down at her phone as they all appear back in the waiting room.

“Yes,” Corpse blurts out and there are a few laughs and chuckles.

“You were quick to answer, Corpse,” Sean teases.

“Shut up,” Corpse mumbles and there are even more laughs.

Lizzie smiles and taps into her phone. “I’m gonna invite her.”

“I can’t believe that you actually made that deal, y/n,” Wade is telling you after ending the second round of Monopoly that you’ve played with them.

You smile and cross your legs on your chair. “Look, I was going bankrupt and it seemed good at the time. Besides, Mark was going to win anyway, he owned half of the board.” Your phone buzzes beside you on your desk and you pick it up. “Lizzie texted me.” There’s a sound effect that plays in your headset and you look up at your screen and smile. “Thanks to _lorieplays _for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot. Thank you so much.”

“Do you want to play another round?” Marks asks.

You shake your head, reading the text from your friend in England. “No, I don’t want to lose to you again.” You laugh. “Nah, Lizzie wants me to play Among Us with her and a few others. It was fun playing with you guys.”

“It was even though you took all of my money,” Bob snaps.

You laugh. “Yeah, yeah. See you guys later.”

“Bye,” says Mark.

“See y--” Wade begins but you cut him off when you disconnect from the call.

“Oops.” You put a hand over your mouth and laugh. “Sorry, Wade. Okay.” You straighten up and glance over everything, making sure it’s all working properly. “I have to pee and I think my roommate ordered pizza, so we’ll be back after this short break. Enjoy this live feed of my pet rats.” You giggle and switch the stream over to a view of your two rats in their cage where you have a camera set up. You take your headset off and head out of your recording room.

Every two months, you have a twenty-four-hour livestream where you play games with your friends from all around the world. Despite being only twenty-five, your Youtube channel had grown exponentially in the past three years and you’ve had the chance to meet lots of other Youtubers like Markiplier, PewDiePie, and your close friend, LDShadowLady.

Currently, you’re on hour twenty of twenty-four and you’re beginning to feel the effects of not sleeping for a whole day. You had been drinking coffee and energy drinks for the past four hours and that seemed to perk you up for two hours max. But your roommate had ordered pizza and that would hopefully wake you up.

After going to the bathroom and grabbing an entire box of pizza, you return to your recording room and sit down. You put your headset back on and eat a slice of pizza before switching the views back to you. “And we’re back. I hope you guys enjoyed my rats because I don’t. They keep me up at night.”

You read a comment while loading up Among Us and laugh. “No, they’re not dead. They’re sleeping. They do that a lot when they’re not fighting.”

When you finally get into the game and entire the code, you spawn in. You also quickly join the Discord chat and wince when nearly ten voices hit you at once.

“y/n!” exclaims Lizzie and the other voices die down for a moment before rising to greet you.

You wince again but laugh. “Jesus, you guys are loud. Hey, Lizzie.” You move your character to the customize tab and go to try and switch your color. But then you frown and realize that you’re stuck with being dark blue. “Damn, I wanted to be white.”

“Do you want to switch?” Corpse asks.

Your eyes widen you your stomach flips. You hadn’t noticed Corpse was in this game. Immediately, your chat became flooded with keyboard smashing and lots of “omg my shipp” and “y/n rlly said ‘anna oop-’”

“Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind,” you manage to stutter out and take a bite of pizza as Corpse’s player comes over and the white option becomes available. You select it and also select the goggles in the hats menu.

“How’s your stream going?” asks Sean.

You shrug. “Pretty good. I’m super tired, though. I literally almost fell asleep while playing Monopoly with Mark, Wade, and Bob.”

“You went to college, right?” You’re pretty sure that’s Roomie.

“Yep,” you affirm with a nod even though they can’t see you. “You’d think that those all-nighters writing papers and studying for finals would make me able to do this.”

There’s a laugh in the group and the round starts.

3 rounds before the incident

You scratch your eyebrow and sigh in relief when you’re the crewmate. You mute yourself and slide up in your chair.

“I like being the crewmate,” you say, heading towards admin as a habit. “It’s a lot less stressful than being imposter.”

After doing your tasks in admin and fueling the engines, you stumble across a dead body in the lower engine and a vent closing.

“Oh,” you say, and press the report button. You unmute yourself and begin with, “So I saw a vent close but I didn’t see who went in.”

“Who died?” asks Lizzie.

“Felix,” says Sean.

You smirk. “It’s always yellow that dies first.”

“Where was the body?” Ken asks.

“Lower engine,” you reply.

“I was in medbay with Corpse doing the scan so it wasn’t him,” PJ says and Corpse makes a noise of confirmation.

This makes your cheeks heat up and you smack a hand over your mouth. Your chat explodes again but you decide to ignore it.

“And I was doing wires in cafeteria,” Lizzie says.

“Sean, where were you?”

“I was in reactor doing the simon says thing,” he answers.

You sigh. “I hate that one. What about you, Ken?”

“I was with Roomie in electrical doing the power thing. You know, the one where you have to divert it somewhere else.”

“So do we skip then?” asks Lizzie.

“No one is super sus, so I’m going to skip,” you answer.

When no one is ejected, you mute yourself again. “I dunno why, but Sean seems pretty sus. Because I didn’t see him on the way down from upper engine. But I guess he could have gotten there in time.” You shrug and run over to the trash chute in the cafeteria. “RIP to Felix, though.”

After doing the trash there, you head down to storage, running into Corpse doing the wires in there. You wait there to clear him and once you do, you run a few circles around him to get his attention and he follows you over to the trash in storage and watches you do that. After that, the two of you head over to electric together and do wires there.

Suddenly, there’s a body reported and you unmute yourself.

“Sean just killed Lizzie in front of me!” exclaims PJ.

“PJ killed Lizzie,” Sean retorts, flipping the blame. “I watched it, he didn’t realize I was there and murdered her.”

“I watched PJ do the scan in medbay, he’s cleared,” Corpse says and you find yourself smiling for no reason. “Sean, you killed Lizzie.”

“I knew he was sus,” you say, grabbing another piece of pizza. You look at the box and your eyes widen. Had you really already eaten half of it?

“Wait wait, how am I sus?” Sean asks.

You take a moment to swallow. “Because when I was doing fuel earlier, I was running down from upper engine and didn’t see you in reactor. Sure, maybe you could have gotten there earlier, but it was super weird.”

The discussion time ends and PJ immediately goes to vote for Sean as well as you, Corpse, and everyone else still alive. Sean ends up getting ejected.

stinky was an imposter

1 imposter remains

“You’re such a detective, y/n,” Sean says when he gets ejected.

You laugh. “I just play this game too much.” You then mute yourself and smile. “I am a genius.”

You end up finishing your tasks quickly after that and then stand in the cafeteria and eat another piece of pizza and read some of the chat.

“’ What am I going to do after this?’ I don’t know. I might play some Minecraft. Should I have a poll on Twitter? I’m stuck between public Among Us games, Minecraft, and taking random quizzes on Buzzfeed.” You smile and hear another sound effect and something pops up on the screen. “Thank you to coochie man for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot.” You laugh at their name. “I love your name, by the way.”

There’s some rattling in the cage behind you and you turn around to see one of your rats drinking water. You turn back to the chat and read another comment. “’ Do you have a crush on Corpse?’” You blush and smile, biting your lip. “I mean, his voice is hot. I’ve never met him since he lives in San Diego and I live in h/t, but yeah, I guess I do. I’ve been listening to his music for the past few days and it’s really good, you guys should go check it out.”

You look up and unmute yourself when a body is reported. “Who died?” you ask. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Are you already done with your tasks, y/n?” Corpse asks.

God, even the way he says your name is making you blush. “Yeah, I get them done quick.”

“She does that,” says Lizzie, “She always gets her tasks done quick.”

“Ken is dead by the way,” says Roomie and your snort, smacking a hand over your mouth. “I found him in the hallway by navigation. Where was everyone else?”

“I was in cafeteria doing nothing,” you say, leaning back in your chair and spinning around just a little. “I think I saw PJ downloading while I was in there, but I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yeah, I was downloading,” says Ken.

After more discussion, Corpse points out that Jaiden had been following him and it looked like she had been faking tasks.

“No I haven’t,” she says.

“That sounds like something the imposter would say,” you hum with a smirk. “That’s pretty sus, Jaiden.”

Everyone else agrees and you all end up voting Jaiden out.

jaiden was the imposter

0 imposters remain

You cheer as the round ends and a blue victory screen pops up for the crewmates. “Good game, guys,” you say and play again, waiting for the host.

1 round before the incident

“Oh my god, I’m imposter again?” you groan and sigh when you spawn back in. “I was just imposter, I don’t want to be it again. I’m so bad at it,”

After another short round of you and Felix losing to the crewmates, you all agreed to play two more rounds before Sean had to leave. So you move your character to admin where PJ is and fake the card swipe before moving over to the admin security thing where you could see who was around where. Luckily, no one appeared to be near admin, so you quickly kill PJ and escape through the vent and come out through medbay.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you whisper over and over, running down to storage. “That was clean.” You fake getting fuel and go back up to the upper engine.

When PJ’s body is reported, you see that your fellow imposter, Sean, had reported it. You stay silent for most of the round and only say that you were in the fuel area when it was reported.

“Yeah, I saw her run past electrical earlier,” Corpse says. You blush and glance at your exploding chat and shake your head.

After everyone skips the round, you mute yourself once more and head towards navigation. “I hate this.” You drag the last syllable and watch Lizzie enter the room. You wait a moment before walking towards her and killing her, jumping into one of the vents. You let out a sigh and flex your fingers. “I’m so stressed.” You exit out of the vent into shields and your heart stops when you see someone else in there but you realize that it’s the other imposter, Sean, and you relax.

You run past him and go to the trash compartments and pretend to unload those. And that’s how the rest of the round goes. You kill someone, someone reports it and you vote someone off. Eventually, you and Sean do a double kill and end up winning the round.

You unmute yourself.

“Let’s go!” Sean exclaims and you smile.

“I can’t believe you killed me, y/n!” shouts Lizzie. “I thought we were friends.”

You laugh. “There are no friends in this game. I’m not loyal to anyone in this game. You could be my best friend and I would fucking murder you.”

“That’s cold,” says Roomie as everyone else spawns back in.

“Yeah,” you nod.

“Wait, PJ disconnected,” says Sean, and you all end up waiting for him to rejoin.

In that time, you look at your chat and say, “Hey, do you guys have any questions for who I’m playing with. I’m asking you, chat.”

“I swear if someone asks about my hands, I’m leaving,” Corpse says and everyone laughs.

You laugh louder when you read a comment and read it aloud, “_Ironlady _says that you should be a hand model, Corpse.”

“Okay, I’m leaving,” you hear Corpse say over everyone laughing.

“No, stay!” you exclaim, trying not to laugh. “C’mon, don’t leave.”

He sighs deeply and your brain goes fuzzy. “Fine. I’ll stay for you.”

You beam and your tummy turns. You ignore the whistles and remarks from everyone else and stand beside Corpse. You suddenly wish that the little bean characters could hold hands.

When PJ joins the server again, Ken starts the round and you cross your fingers, hoping to get crewmate.

0 rounds before the incident

You mute yourself and sigh when you’re a crewmate. “Thank god.” You let out a breath and go over to admin with everyone else. You swipe your card and go to the cafeteria to do some wires there.

The game turns out to be rather uneventful. A few people die and two people are voted off before the game gets truly interesting. And that happens when you walk in on Corpse and Felix.

“I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days,” you’re saying, walking from electrical over to O2. “And I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe singing it will help.” You hum the first part. “Don't go in there, you'll become one. Freaky creatures, monster party. Eyes of yellow, scales and feathers, tails in tethers. Turn the lights off. Bend the nightmare, you control it. Artful dodger, easy does it. Shut the closet, get under the covers. Snakes and lovers. Turn the lights off.” You do a little dance for a moment and continue hum the song, glancing at the chat as you go towards O2 after doing wires in storage.

“Like, I know the song, it’s just been stuck in my head,” you explain. “And it kind of annoys me--”

But you stop as you enter O2 and watch Corpse murder Felix. Neither one of you move and you don’t know what to do. “Uhhh.”

Then, without thinking, you turn straight around and make your way away from the scene of the murder. “I didn’t see anything!” you shout to no one. “I suddenly can’t see who murdered Felix.” You smack a hand over your mouth and stand in the middle of a hallway. “Oh my god, what do I do? I don’t want to snitch on Corpse, he’s hot.” You scratch the back of your neck and shrug, continuing on to reactor. “I didn’t see anything.”

You’re in the middle of doing the simon says in reactor when Felix’s body is reported. You unmute yourself and fidget with the sleeve of your hoodie. You know exactly who killed Felix.

“--was in O2,” says Jaiden and you focus back into the conversation. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”

“I saw you heading that way, y/n, but I know it wasn’t you because I saw you do the trash in storage.”

You look at the screen when Sean talks to you and you chew your lip. “I know who killed Felix.”

“Who?” asks almost everyone at the same time.

You close your eyes and swallow. It’s just a game, why are you taking this so seriously? Suddenly, a song lyric pops into your head and your stomach flips. You imagine yourself saying it and no one knows who you mean except for him.

You open your eyes. “I’d never snitch on daddy.”

There’s a laugh in the chat and you blush fiercely, your livestream chat blowing up once again.

“I think we know who it is, then,” says Sean, laughing.

“Yeah,” agrees Lizzie and your eyes widen.

“Wait, what?” you ask, watching everyone vote almost as soon as the discussion time ends. “Wait, hang on, who--”

“We know who you’re talking about, y/n,” PJ tells you.

You vote for yourself and your brain goes blank as you see that everyone voted for Corpse. He even voted for himself. They knew. They all _knew _about your feelings for Corpse.

The round ends with Corpse being voted out and the crewmates win. There’s some talking, but you stay on the victory screen. You’re trying to decide if your mad or embarrassed or both.

“I didn’t know you’d say that, y/n,” Corpse says, effectively breaking you out of your trance. “I thought you were gonna snitch on me.”

“You heard her,” teases Lizzie and you can tell she’s grinning. “She’d never snitch on you, Corpse.”

He laughs and you feel something in a certain place. “Oh my god, I’m gonna die of embarrassment.” You put your face in your hands, listening to your friends tease you in the chat. You suddenly want to jump out your window and run into traffic.

“Don’t die,” comes Corpse’s voice through the onslaught of teasing. “I’ll be sad.”

“Fuck!” you shout and slam your hand on your desk, shaking your equipment and scaring your rats. “I’m so sorry, Corpse, that was really weird, I--”

“Stop.” He interrupts you and the chat goes silent and you look up at the screen even though you can’t see him. “It’s okay. It was funny.”

Your eyes widen and then narrow. Funny? He thought what you said was funny? How could he think it was funny?

But then he speaks again and he sounds oddly flustered. “Uh, I gotta go. Um, it was fun playing with you guys. Bye, y/n.”

“Bye Cor--” but then he disconnects and you’re left talking to no one. “--pse.”

There’s a long moment of silence until Felix breaks it. “I can’t believe you just watched me die and didn’t do anything about it.”

There are some laughs and you smile faintly, rejoining the game. “Yeah, uh, sorry about that.”

“Are you okay, y/n?” asks Lizzie.

You blush and swallow. “I don’t know. God, I’m so weird.” You run a hand through your hair and adjust your headphones

“No, you’re not,” Roomie assures you. “He has a crush on you, too.”

Your eyes widen and you scoot up in your chair. “He does?”

“I mean, he called you pretty once during a game and said that he watches your videos a lot, so maybe.”

You groan and sink in your chair. “I’m gonna go, I need to run into traffic now.”

A few people laugh or chuckle and Lizzie asks you if you’re actually going to leave.

“Yeah,” you tell her. “But not to run into traffic. I’m going to go play Minecraft to soothe myself.”

“Aw.” You can practically hear her frown. “Okay. Bye, y/n.”

“Good luck with your stream,” Ken tells you.

You grin. “Okay, thanks, bye.”

When you exit the game and leave the chat, you scream. You actually scream and it’s loud. Your roommate even knocks on your door, asking if you’re okay.

You look at them and nod. “Yeah, totally fine. Probably about to have a mental breakdown, but I’m fine.”

“Okay,” they say and lean on the doorframe. “But I’m not cutting bangs for you again.”

You laugh and nod. “Yeah, okay, fine.” They leave and you turn back to your stream, feeling like you’re about to cry. Corpse knows you have a crush on him. And it seems like he has one on you as well, but now you’re embarrassed because you called him ‘daddy’ on stream.

You rub your eyes. “Well, now I know what’ll be streaming on Twitter tonight,” you tell the chat.

#corpse_husband #corpse husband #x reader #female reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse_husband x reader #jacksepticeye #among us #ldshadowlady #pewdiepie #fanfic

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brachiosaurus-on · 3 years

Note

Brachio! I was just thinking about the Jedi having a buddy system--just imagine older younglings being buddies with younger younglings. But also Padawans being buddies with younglings and Knights being buddies with younglings.

Maybe the older buddy tells their buddy stories about what they've done, or helps teach/tutor their younger buddy, or they're just there to offer advice or a listening ear or a difference perspective.

It would make so much sense, given how important teaching/learning is to the Jedi -- and maybe having a buddy is like preparation for taking on a Padawan.

Not every buddy-pair becomes a master and Padawan, though -- many just become friends -- but some do.

(I think Quinlan and Aayla would have been buddies.)

Shadow, your mind. It's a gift to the fandom.

I'm now accepting this as canon because the Jedi would definitely do this, especially to create more community between generations. It's also a way to train everyone to be good with younglings and take some of the load off the creche masters.

Yoda would be the biggest supporter of this because spending more time with younglings would help all of the older Jedi to think more like them. "Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is." He also wants all of his grandkids to appreciate and take care of each other. He may have been the one to start it several hundred years ago. Or he remembers how much he loved his own buddies and made sure it continued.

Perhaps they have multiple buddies, at least one of the same species. It would probably help younglings feel more comfortable with themselves, especially if they're a less common species like Wookies and could be one way the Jedi encourage interaction with their birth culture.

Quinlan definitely brought Aayla to the Temple and introduced her to everyone as his buddy, effectively claiming her. While he was at it, he also decided to claim her as his future padawan, which everyone laughed at until a few years later they realized he was serious. The masters all just nodded their heads in agreement at that point because the two of them were such good buddies anyway and he'd actually taught her a lot already and—to everyone's surprise—had proven himself somewhat responsible with her.

We're going to call them little buddies and big buddies for clarity.

Big buddies giving little buddies piggyback rides around the Temple, this continues well into adulthood.

Buddies being best friends and doing secret handshakes when they pass each other in the halls. This also continues well into adulthood.

Little buddies that refuse to admit that they actually like their big buddy a lot, but as soon as the big buddy leaves they draw tons of pictures and ask their creche master if they can give it to them. The big buddy is at first disappointed that their little buddy doesn't want to interact with them but then gets the pictures and realizes that they're just shy.

The big buddies that are so enthusiastic about it that they totally embarrass their little buddies.

Big buddies dunking little buddies into the fountains. Little buddies ganging up together for revenge. Big buddies claiming "revenge is not the Jedi way" before dunking them again. The creche masters watch this and decide that the big buddies can find everyone towels and dry clothes.

Little buddies seeing their big buddy in the halls and just running up to them and hugging them.

Big buddies absconding with the little buddies to go play pranks and cause other mayhem around the Temple.

Little buddies picking a flower and shyly walking up to their big buddy to offer it to them. Big buddies weaving flower crowns or braiding flowers into their little buddy's hair.

Big buddies helping little buddies with academics and telling them which masters are the most fun in class.

Little buddies teaching big buddies games.

Big buddies helping little buddies with lightsaber forms, then showing off & teaching them cool tricks.

Big buddies listening intently to whatever their little buddies are saying, usually something about made up fruits or animals, or something they made in art class, but occasionally very serious problems like "so and so said I was a stinky poodoo head and I'm never going to be friends with them again" and depending on the buddy they'll respond with helpful advice to resolve the situation or they'll say "call them a stinky poodoo head back" and get swatted by their master.

Big buddies telling their little buddies complete nonsense with absolute seriousness like "the 3rd mango tree in the garden is magic and there's a secret passage beneath its roots that takes you to the lower levels of the Temple. It only opens once a year and you have to be wearing pink socks when it happens otherwise you won't be able to enter." The creche masters are very confused as to why everyone is asking for pink socks and to stakeout the mango trees.

Big buddies throwing the little buddies back and forth with the force. They raise the stakes by throwing multiple at a time. This occasionally grows to a full circle of big buddies throwing little buddies around and across between them until one of them almost falls or the creche masters break it up before someone actually does fall.

Big buddies supervising as a group for the night so the creche masters get some time off. All the little buddies look forward to this because the big buddies will let them stay up a little later if they don't tell the creche masters and they'll read extra stories and play extra games before going to bed. Sometimes they get to watch a holo and the big buddies become great pillows that also hold popcorn. Maybe the big buddies sleepover in the creche; everyone sleeps in the giant blanket forts they build.

Little buddies practice telekinesis by levitating their big buddies, who are very excited about this. They also try to get the little buddies to throw them with the Force.

If the big buddy is a padawan, their master also often ends up fond of the little buddy. Sometimes the little buddy ends up being the master's next padawan. It's just the will of the Force.

#headcanon accepted #headcanons #jedi younglings #jedi order #jedi appreciation #jedi positivity #jedi #yoda #quinlan vos #aayla secura #quin & aayla #master & padawan #star wars #brachio answers

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tomtenadia · 3 years

Text

A Little Braver - Chapter 2

I think I will be brave as well and post chapter 2.

In the chapter when Rowan muses about his call sign he uses the term FNG - it literally mean Fucking new guy. In US military it describes a newcomer.

Enjoy the chapter!

--------

The next morning Rowan was on his way to the fire station. He had left the house a bit early to allow for traffic or getting lost. In the end he had arrived with ten minutes to spare. He parked the car along the road and walked to the main area in front of the station and stopped.

The tall training building was on fire and a few people were outside in front of it as if in waiting. He searched for the captain but she was not there. He wanted to go and ask to the team about her whereabouts but did not want to interrupt the training session. So he just decided to lean against a wall of the fire station, arms folded at his chest and just watch the drill.

He was curious about why they were not using the truck or water and wondered if they were following a specific exercise.

Being a fighter pilot was full of risks but by looking at the raging fire and thinking that there were people willingly putting themselves through that inferno made him shiver. He’d rather been strapped in a metal cage than in a house on fire.

All of a sudden a figure ran out of the building carrying what looked like a dummy and two more followed. He gasped when he recognised the captain. The dummy she was carrying on her shoulders must have weighed a ton and he was impressed. He followed her, dumping the dummy on the ground and joining the tall blonde man and pat him on the shoulder looking happy. His lips turned up in a hint of a smile.

Her eyes met his and she gave him a huge smile and Rowan straightened up and pulled away from the wall. She walked to him while unbuttoning her bulky fireproof jacket.

“Morning Captain,” she brushed her hair away from her face and Rowan’s heart started to race.

“Enjoyed the show?”

He cleared his voice while he tried to gain some sense again “That was fascinating.”

“Can you give me twenty minutes to have a very quick shower and get changed? You don’t want to be in a meeting with a stinky woman.”

Captain Whitethorn nodded “Take your time.”

“You can go and meet the guys. They are a friendly bunch.” She offered “just ignore the lewd jokes.”

“Thank you for the head’s up.”

Aelin ran away and he gathered some courage and walked to the team. He was not the best around people he did not know, but he wanted to play nice.

He took another step and the tall blond man noticed him and walked with purpose toward him and offered him his hand “Captain Whitethorn isn’t it?”

Rowan nodded.

“Aelin told us you were coming. I am Lieutenant Ashryver.”

Rowan nodded and studied the man in front of him and noticed that his posture and attitude screamed military. After he had spent all his adult life in the force he had gotten used to spot one of them. He had the same feeling at the base during the fire.

“Can I introduce you to our team?”

“Gladly.”

Aedion turned to the red-haired woman “Ladies first. This is Ansel. Never leave her and Aelin alone because then you are in trouble.”

“Hey, I’ll tell her you said that and she will put you on truck cleaning duties for a month.” Aedion ignored her and continued “then here we have Brullo, Nox, Ress, Ren and finally Luca.” He grabbed the young man’s shoulder “he is our probie. He finished the academy and he joined us a few months ago. For now he is coming to the less serious calls but we are planning on coddling him a bit less and make him see the real stuff as well.”

Then the man turned around, scanning the area in search for something or someone “we also have two EMTs, Elide and Lysandra but they must be around the station doing something. You will meet them anyway.��

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

“Everyone, clean up and don’t leave everything to Luca. All of you haul ass. Nox, Ren you are on equipment duty. Ansel, Ress you two are on uniform checks. Brullo, take Luca with you and go over him some truck procedures for before and after calls. Now away all of you.”

Rowan chuckled. The man was definitely ex military.

“Where did you serve?” He asked the man taking a chance.

“I was in the army. I was an artillery specialist. Once I retired Aelin called me saying her station was looking for recruits and I applied for the job. Guess my experience with explosives and such was a plus. Many years later I am still here and still loving it.” Then he studied the Captain “how did you guess?”

“Your posture. It’s the stick up your arse, as Captain Galathynius would say, that gets drilled into you from day one. The way you give order, again, very familiar.”

“Call her Aelin, Cap or Captain. She hates being called Captain Galathynius.”

Rowan raised a eyebrow with curiosity for that statement.

“I usually call her brat or menace.” Aedion chuckled “she is my cousin. I have known her since we were little. I have earned that privilege.”

Aedion started walking back into the station and Captain Whitethorn followed him.

“She has the bas habit of not filtering what she wants to say, can be brash and very vocal when she is mad at something or someone, but she loves her job and her team. She loves being a firefighter. She might be young be she is extremely capable. She is the first female captain. Absurd to think that before her it was just a boy’s club, eh?” The man joked, and lead him into a big spacious room with a lone table and chair and a kitchen at the bottom of it “If she keeps likes this I can see her climbing up the ladder pretty quickly, although I cannot imagine her in a desk job.”

Rowan knew very little about the woman but he had the same feeling.

“This is where we spend most of the time when we are on shift, all tasks are done and just wait for a call. We have books, video-games, tv… you name it. And like all families we fight for who controls the remote.”

Aelin joined them a moment later “Are you giving our Captain the tour?”

“Yes, just the cheap tour for now. You can give him the proper one later.” Aedion winked at her.

“I guess that after our meeting, the Captain will be more than happy to get rid of me.

“I gave you a tour of the base, I would love a tour of the station.”

Aelin’s mouth almost fell open in disbelief.

“If you are not fed up with me we can think about it.” And she turned around and walked away the same way he did the day before.

Aedion gestured with his head to follow her and Rowan ran after her.

“I am sorry for the delay. Once I got back to work yesterday I had an email saying that our annual performance review is due in three weeks. I did not have a way to contact you otherwise I would have pushed the meeting forward a bit.”

“It was actually interesting watching you guys train.” He followed her to her office and took the seat she offered “we have performance reviews as well. What do you guys have to do?”

Aelin was caught off guard by him being talkative all of a sudden “We get tested on our abilities. We usually go to the academy, are given a scenario and the whole team has to work as if that was a real call. We also get to perform some individual tasks and those are timed. It’s a very stressful period.”

“You can leave our project to me until you are done with your review. I am happy to give you an update and you can come once a week to check how things are progressing if you are too busy.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Captain?” She smiled at him, leaning back in her chair.

He shook his head and she noticed him finally relaxing and sitting more comfortably in his chair “we have those review as well and they are always stressful for the team and I am aware how much of my time, preparing drills takes me. I am offering you to concentrate on your mission ahead for now and then catch up in three weeks.”

Was he actually being nice to her?

“I will be fine captain, but thank you for the offer. I appreciate it.”

“If you change your mind, my offer will still be on the table.”

“So,” she said quite abruptly changing the subject. If he even thought she needed his help because she was a woman he was in for a tough ride.

Aelin grabbed a folder with her plan. She had spent the entire previous day working on it. “These are the copies for you.” And she passed him a pile of papers “they are the ideas and changes I would like to suggest. I believe that is the part you will have to discuss with your CO. the biggest and probably most time consuming change is the extra door. All the other suggestions are repairs and perhaps replacements of old parts. I would like to explain again that these changes are not up for discussion. They need to happen.”

Captain Whitethorn nodded “I have discussed the matter with my CO after our meeting and he understands that and agrees. He promised me that he will fight until the last ditch if they start blocking him with budget bullshit, his exact words.”

“Please tell Air Commodore Salvaterre that I appreciate his cooperation. It goes in the interest of every single person who works at the base. Him included.”

“This pile here is a draft of possible training sessions for both your squadron and the ground crew. I want basic fire prevention training, fire extinguisher training, reviews of fire drills. I would like to do some training, especially with the ground crew on fuels handling, fuel storing and clearing spillages. Your squadron will be welcome as well. I think it will benefit everyone.” She flipped through her notes “I would like to nominate a couple of people as Fire champions or any other name we can come up with. Their role would be to perform monthly deep inspections and weekly spot checks. The idea is that by doing this, you are always on the ball with any problems. Of course we will provide training on how to do all this.” She kept explaining and the man in front of her listened to her with great interest, never interrupting her.

“Needless to say that fire prevention is everyone’s job. See it, report it. And if you can, fix it.” She jotted down a few things “of course all of this depends on our rosters. I don’t know how it works for you guys but we work in shift patterns.”

“My squadron and I, we work Monday to Friday when we are ground-side. Ground staff such as engineers for example, they tend to follow shift patterns as well. I can talk to the supervisors for the mechanics and engineering team and see if I can get a roster from them. They are aware of the fact that extra training is on its way.”

“Please do. I have a feeling that will be the biggest job.”

“Do you have any questions for me so far?”

“Which venue will we use?”

Aelin tapped her pen on the table “I was thinking here if it’s okay with you. We have the equipment, also we don’t have maximum security checks.”

“Speaking of security…” he extracted something from his pocket “`I have your badge.”

Aelin took the badge he offered in surprise.

“I imagine we will be working together quite a lot and you will need to visit the base as well on a regular basis. You have now the badge with consultant clearance. It’s not a lot, but it will grant you access to all the are you will need. And no more forms to fill.”

“Thank you, captain,” she was speechless “Thank you for trusting me.”

She smiled fondly at him and Rowan realised he’d do literally anything to see that smile. It was intoxicating.

They worked for a few hours and Aelin realised it was not as bad as she had feared. The captain had been very keen to listen to her plans and making suggestions according to his knowledge of the base and his team. He had also looked a bit less uncomfortable and more willing to have a full conversation instead of monosyllables. At least it was progress and since it looked like they were going to work together for a while it was a good thing.

When her stomach grumbled loudly she coughed embarrassed to try and cover it but the very faint hint of a grin on the captain’s lips told her that he had head her.

“We can stop for lunch, captain.”

Aelin almost blushed “I guess so. I think I have a black hole forming in my stomach. Those drills always leave me famished.” She stood “there is a lovely diner very nearby. Can I interest you in lunch? It’s on me. But no shop talk.” She was ready for a refusal but the captain stood and nodded.

“I’d like lunch.”

When they left the office they met Elide and Lysandra carrying boxes full of supplies to stock the ambulance. As soon as Rowan noticed he jumped forward and offered to help Elide.

“Let me carry them. They are quite bulky.”

“Thank you,” said the woman flashing a smile to Aelin then showed the captain the direction to the ambulance.

“Where do I place it?” He asked once they were arrived. Elide opened the back door of the vehicle “just here. Lys and I will sort through everything. Thank for the help.”

Lysandra dropped all her stuff and turned to the two captains.

“These are Lysandra and Elide, they are our two resident EMTs.”

“Ladies, this is captain Whitethorn.”

Lysandra mouthed hot to Aelin and the woman rolled her eyes.

“The captain and I were going for lunch. Could you please tell Aedion to man the fort for me while I am away? I am just going to Emrys and I have a radio with me if anything happens.”

The woman nodded “I know the drill. Go, enjoy lunch.”

The two captains left “we are walking. The place is just down the road. We are all regulars there.”

Five minutes later they reached the small diner and Rowan thought the place looked cosy and felt like the good old fashioned family run restaurant.

“Emrys and his husband Malakai have been running this place since forever. It’s an institution in the neighbourhood.”

“Aelin, my girl.” A very smiling Emrys walked from behind the counter and went to hug the woman “Are you keeping well?”

“Of course.”

“Two today?” He asked looking at the Aelin’s companion.

“Yes please. Can we sit anywhere?”

“Go ahead.” He gestured pointing at the tables.

“Quiet today?”

“Not at all. You just missed the rush. Until twenty minutes ago we were full. Malkai is delivering an order to the police station.”

Aelin walked to the table near the window and invited Rowan to join her.

“Here’s the menu for your friend. Let me know when you are ready to order.”

Rowan took the menu, opened it and lowered his head to start reading it.

Aelin studied him for a moment while he was distracted. Stared at his hands and noticed the hint of a tattoo sneaking from underneath the uniform. Interesting, she would have never pinned the man as someone who would have a tattoo. A smile tugged at her lips. A part of her wanted quite badly to get to know him a bit more. “Your hair,” she asked “has it always been silver or it became like that with age?” Then she stopped embarrassed “I mean I am not saying that you look old. I just meant as if it got like that as you grew up.”

He lifted his head from the menu and his piercing green eyes settled on her “I was born like this. Apparently it runs in my family.”

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I was just curious.”

He gave her a half a smile. It did not linger. It was quick and for a second she thought she had imagined it “I am used to it.” He tapped on the plastic menu “you haven’t decided yet?”

“Oh no, I don’t need a menu. I know it by heart and I know what I want.”

Emrys came back and both placed their orders and Aelin enjoyed the shocked expression on the captain.

“You can’t possibly eat all that stuff.”

“Watch me.”

The silence grew uncomfortable again. It looked as if he was chatty only when it came to work.

“Why did you join the airforce?”

For a moment he looked stunned at her question “I was eighteen and fresh out of high school. Happy I was done studying. My parents wanted me to go to uni, but the idea of spending four more years on books was not for me.” He explained and noticed she had he hands folded under her chin “One day I met Lorcan. We knew each other from before already, being both from Wendlyn and all. It was nice to see a friendly face in a new place. Anyway, he told me he had moved here to Terrasen with the TAF. He told me they were recruiting and I went to the base during an open day. The day after I had signed up and a month later I was starting pilot academy.”

“Where in Wendlyn?”

“Doranelle.”

“I was there once. On holiday with…” no, not time yet “with a friend. We loved it very much.”

He nodded “It’s a nice place, but I must admit that after so many years I feel like an adopted citizen of Terrasen. Orynth is quite a gorgeous place.”

Emrys came with their food and Rowan noticed how skilfully placed all the plates on the table. As if he was used to have all those orders from her.

“You can’t be serious and actually eat all this food.”

Aelin tackled her first plate “watch the pro at work, captain.” She gave him a smile and Rowan shook his head and tackled his food.

“Why firefighter?”

He noticed her still for a second and the happiness wash away from her face in an instant. Fuck. Wrong question already.

“I was eight.” She said playing with her food for a moment “I was out playing with some of my friends. I was on my way home when I saw two massive fire trucks in front of my house and my home on fire.” She placed the fork on the plate “I ran toward the house but this fireman stopped me. I was crying and calling for my parents. He hugged me, he told me they were working to try and save my parents. I remember trashing in his arms to get free but he held me tight.” She took a bit to keep herself busy while telling the story “he took me to the back of the engine and showed me some of the tools and explained to me how the engine worked. He distracted me while his colleagues worked to stop the fire and save my parents.” She finally met his gaze “it took them almost two hours to kill the fire. After that there was nothing left of the house and of my life. My parents had been found dead in the house. The gas boiler has suffered a fault and basically exploded. They stood no chance.”

“Aelin I am…” his hand moved slowly closer to hers and brushed it gently “I am so sorry.”

“When I grew up I decided I wanted to be like the firemen who attended my fire. I wanted to rush into a house on fire and try to save some person’s parents of spouse and help them avoid the loss I suffered. I wanted to be like the man who stood with me and distracted me.”

Her finger lifted a little and met his almost in acknowledgement “Aedion’s family took me in. As soon as I finished high school I was like you. I had no interest in uni. So I signed up for the fire academy.”

“Sorry for ruining lunch.”

She shook her head and flicked his finger playfully. That had been the first contact between them. He had always kept his distance and that little flicker of affection made he heart flutter. The man was a puzzle. He could go from stone cold bastard to this in a small amount of time.

Aelin finished her food and noticed the captain staring at her with curiosity.

“I cannot believe it.”

“Told you,” she smiled at him with a smug expression “and I am even going to get cake.”

“No you are not.”

In defiance she stood and went to the counter and ordered chocolate hazelnut cake from Emrys. She came back and sat down again and ate the whole slice.

“Remind me to apply for a mortgage if I ever take you out for dinner.” At those words Rowan froze. He did not mean to do say that. It was supposed to be a joke but he should have learned by now that he was bad at making jokes.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Iceman.”

His head shoot up and looked at her. She had used his callsign. Something that only his squadron members would ever use. They all had one. It was a tradition. But it also meant something. It was always the other pilots in the team who choose the callsign. Never the pilot himself. It was a rite of passage that welcome you in the squadron. In a family. He got his one because of his hair. Everyone thought it was because he was cool and calm under pressure but no. When he was still one of the FNG he went through his naming ceremony like all the others FNG and they had decided he was going to be iceman because with his hair he reminded them of a creature from the snowy glaciers of the Staghorn mountains, hence iceman. Hearing her calling him like that made his heart skip a beat.

“We don’t have call signs. We got nicknames but nothing official like you guys.” She polished the plate from the chocolate left from the cake “the guys usually call me Captain or Cap. Aedion is the worst. Because he is my cousin he takes the liberty to call me brat or menace. I should really write him up for insubordination.”

She tapped his hand “come on grampa, let’s get back to work.” And stood. Rowan had wanted to grab that hand and hold it for a moment. It felt as if a small shift had happened in their weird work relationship.

Aelin paid for the meal as promised and they walked back to the station “are you sure you will be able to concentrate with all that food in you?”

On the way back Aelin looked up at the sky and noticed a few flakes that had started to follow. “Looks like it’s going to snow.”

She turned her head and caught Rowan sniffing the air, the eyes closed and a relaxed expression. The hard lines of his face had disappeared and the faint smile on his lips changed him completely. Yes, the man was hot but there was more to it. The very rare times that his face softened his eyes lit up as well turning a deeper green and made him stunning. She had a feeling those moments were rare and was glad that she had caught at least a couple. Like right now, his body relaxed enjoying the first flakes of snow. That was a precious insight in the man at her side.

“You like winter?” She broke the magic.

His eyes snapped open and his face turned hard again as if he hated being caught enjoying something.

“I do.” He said softly “I love the snow and winters in Terrasen are incredible.

Aelin smiled. His scent. His scent reminded her of Terrasen. Pine and snow. She had smelled it the other day while she was inside his plane and he was quite close to her. He smelled like winter and realised for a second that the nickname Iceman was perfect as well for that reason and not just because he could be a cold hearted bastard. They got back to the station and she found it quiet apart from Brullo and Luca near the fire engine. Apparently the man was explaining the youngster some of the routine checks they performed. He was their resident engineer and mechanic so he was the best one for that type of training.

“Nice lunch, Cap? Did you eat all the food at Emrys?”

“The vegetables are still there. They are safe.” Aelin turned when noticed that the joke came from Rowan.

Brullo and Luca burst out laughing “oh he is good.” Added the older man.

“My eating habits are the joke of the station.”

“Cap, they are insane.” Added Luca.

Aelin turned to Rowan and he lifted and eyebrow as if to say I agree with them.

She turned again on her colleagues “one more joke from the two of you and I’ll have you scrub the station from top to bottom with a toothbrush.” Then she turned on her feet and walked away to her office.

Rowan tapped his hat in salute to the two men and followed her. He found her in the kitchen making coffee “Do you drink coffee?”

“I don’t think I could function without it.”

“Good. We basically drink it by the litre. It keeps you alive on a night shifts.”

She made some coffee and offered him a mug “milk, sugar?”

“Black, thank you.”

He watched her as she dropped two spoonfuls of sugar in it “All this sugar is not good for you.”

“Shhh you heathen.”

He rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee “Thank you for lunch by the way.”

“My treat, for working with me.” She apologised, while leaning against the counter and drinking her coffee.

“You are not as bad as I thought. I agree with Aedion, you are a brat and a menace but I can work with that.” Bad idea. Rowan noticed anger flash in her eyes.

“I am not having you calling me that.” She slammed the cup on the counter “you barely know me and I have been professional, sure if cracking a joke or two makes me a brat it’s your problem you need sense of humour. I have been busting my ass to fix the shit that went down in your station.” She took a step toward him and Rowan braced himself “I know how I run my station. I am aware of every single problem or fault that happens here. Your fucking hangar went down in a blaze of glory and you had no idea of the shitstorm about to happen.” She was now a few mere centimetres from his face and a foolish part of him wanted to push her against the counter and kiss her senseless. She was mad at him and all he thought was how her lips would feel. What was wrong with him?

“Don’t ever call me that again with that smug face of your because I have no problems removing that smirk with a punch.”

Rowan kept staring at her in silence, not risking saying a word while she was that mad at him. Damn the woman had fire in her. And it did not matter he was getting a well deserved lashing down from her, he could not stop thinking that she was beautiful. Not just physically, she was fierce, brave and passionate and he was irremediably drawn to her.

Which it was totally crazy since they had met the day before.

“Now get the fuck out of my station. We are done for today.” And she stepped back.

“Captain, I did not mean to offend you.”

“I said out.” She repeated through gritted teeth “I have your contact. I will let you know when I am in the mood to meet you again.” She grabbed her coffee and walked away from him.

Rowan stood still and stared at the spot where she had been. He ran a hand through his hair and cursed himself for his stupidity. They had finally set aside the bad start they had, and messed up everything again.

He picked up his cap on the counter and then realised he had left all the documents in her office. He was about to walk to her but then changed his mind bad idea. So he just left the station, got back to his car and drove back to the base.

Aelin was furious. Why did he have to go and ruin everything with his bloody mouth of his?

That beautiful mouth of his.

She paced the office for ten minutes then she left, went to changing room and changed into her training gear. Some exercise will do her good to clear her head.

Aedion found her twenty minutes later “here you are,” he shouted as she ran back and forth in the yard with a dummy on her shoulders.

“Aelin!” He shouted when she did not stop. When she ignored him again he went in front of her and stopped her “Aelin.”

“What?” She growled dropping the dummy on the ground with a loud thump. She was breathless.

“I thought you were with the captain.”

She ignored him and grabbed the dummy again but Aedion stopped her and grabbed her hand “did something happened?”

“Yes, he happened. He is an arsehole and I don’t know why I am bothering to help him.”

“Because it’s your job.”

“Well, he can go and ask west station for all I care.”

Aedion shook his head “they are in our territory.”

Aelin ran a hand through her hair.

“Did he do something to you? Because if he did I am very good at hand to hand combat. I’ll destroy his stiff arse.”

Aelin chuckled. Aedion had always been very protective with her.

“He called me a brat and a menace. He said that I am not as bad as he thought and that he agrees with you for my nicknames.”

Aedion laughed “that’s why you are mad at him? Ace, I love you but you can be both.”

She sat down on the dummy “I know. But if you say it it doesn’t bother me. We grew up together. You know me better than anyone. He instead…” she punched the dummy’s face “he had this smug face and he used this tone like a condescending prick.”

She groaned “you can be a brat and a menace but I can work with it,” she repeated in a mocking tone “I am the one doing him a favour to help him. Idiot.”

“You just want to find an excuse to hate him and push him away from you.” He sat down on the dummy beside her “Ace, could it be that you like him but you are still too scared to allow another man in your life?”

“No. I have known the guy for two days. And no, I do not like him.” She protested.

“Would it be that bad?”

Aelin stood and faced him “I am not interested in getting any closer to him than what works dictates. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.

“You are overreacting and you are behaving like a brat and proving him right.”

She pushed him off the dummy “you are on truck duty for the whole week.” Aelin grabbed the dummy and went back to her training.

Rowan finally made it back to the base and went straight to his office but Lorcan intercepted him.

“You are back early. I thought you were going to be at the station all afternoon.”

Rowan ignored his CO and plopped on his chair and closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“That bad, eh?” Joked Lorcan at the man’s reaction.

“I opened my damn mouth. That’s what I did.”

Lorcan sat on the chair on the opposite side of the desk “What did you do? I thought you were the guy who counted till ten before opening his mouth. That’s why I gave you this assignment. I need this to go smoothly and fix all the shit that the old CO messed up. If I wanted to piss off the TFD’s captain I would have sent Moonbeam.”

Rowan snorted “probably would have been better. Far more charming than this cranky old bastard.”

“I have seen the woman. Fenrys would end up fucking everything. Literally.”

Lorcan sat back relaxed “I am coming to the station tomorrow and I will talk to her and bring her back into our good books.”

“You?” Rowan scoffed “if there is someone who has a worse temper than me is you, Lorcan.”

“I’ll be my charming self.” The man joked.

“The gods save us all.” Rowan joked standing and pacing the office “trying to scare her will not work either.”

“I noticed that. I wish some of our men would have that level of balls. Quite amazing for a woman.” Rowan’s head snapped at his CO’s words.

“Don’t even dare say anything like that in her face or you are a dead man.”

He and Lorcan would go along on most of the days but on some concepts, Lorcan still followed the good old fashioned ideas that for example females were not suited for the military, a topic they had many fights on. Rowan had tried to open up the ranks to a few more females in the squadron but Lorcan had rejected the idea every single time.

“You know how I feel about those things.”

“Yes, our very progressive man. Equality and all.”

“You can be such an arsehole.” Rowan stopped at the window “even the Navy is accepting women. Their recruitment for female officers is up by 40%. We are still to celebrate when we will have our first female officer.”

Lorcan growled “well, then move to the Navy.” He stood annoyed “flying a jet is not like service on an aircraft carrier!”

Rowan turned furious “you are not seriously telling me that you don’t believe a woman could fly a jet.” He slammed his fist on the table “I have seen Aelin in action and during drills. I have seen her jump into a building on fire without any second thought to save one of our men. I have seen her drag a dummy twice her size off a burning building while wearing the fire suit and an oxygen tank on her shoulder. She could probably do a vertical, pull 9G and then get off the plane and have a dance in our face. She is definitely not the fragile thing you think she is just because she is a woman.”

“What is your point?”

“Stop being a misogynist prick.”

Rowan phone went off and Lorcan moved away “if you are coming tomorrow, you leave that attitude behind.” Lorcan left and Rowan took the call. Once he was done he sat back down on his chair and looked outside noticing the snow falling and a gentle smile tugged his lips at the memory of the moment they had shared at the restaurant. He had to apologise. And quickly.

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lifewithdavefarts · 3 years

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DaveFarts - Episode 6 “Fart Bet, Easy Bucks” [Episode List] When, rather immaturely, Tim’s friends are doing some random, silly bets, things soon turn stinkier and gassier as Dave joins the game…

Fart Bet, Easy Bucks

The immature, roaring laughter of me and my friends echoed in the living-room as another pal of mine, Jim, took one last bite of an onion, his cheeks turning red, teary eyes, almost puking in front us. We clapped our hands like the drunk monkeys we were, ignoring our friend’s gagging sounds, and we all took another shot of vodka in his honor.

“Well done, Jim!” Adam laughed, as tipsy as the rest of us.

That’s what we were doing in Adam’s parent-free house: really mature bets. At late night, it was almost 3:00 a.m. Our onion-eating friend just lost one of those silly bets we were challenging each other to do. Pretty stupid tasks, like standing on one foot for 3 minutes or reading stuff upside down. Quite mundane, easy, but try doing it after two bottles of vodka-lemon. Each. The loser had to take a couple of bites of an onion, because as I said, we’re very mature. And clever.

The entire room stunk like that stinky vegetable and alcohol, didn’t help that some of us were also burping loudly and proudly, but we were too tipsy to even notice or even be bothered by that (plus, it’s not like I’m not used to… bad-smelling stuff…). When not betting each other to do shit, we were all sitting on two different couches: Adam, Jim and a couple of other guys were all sitting and burping on a longer couch, while I was on a smaller one with Dave, sitting next to me.

As more laughs roared in the room for no reason, in the chaos, Dave elbowed me and chuckled a bit, bringing to my attention the weird vibrations on the couch: he was ripping one of his big farts, the sound completely muffled by the pillows, his loose dark grey jeans probably making it sound even louder and manlier. I only smiled a bit a took another shot of vodka; my gassy friend did the same, finding my awkward reaction hilarious as usual.

“Tim, it’s your turn!”

I almost chocked on my own drink when I heard my name: Dave’s flatulence usually makes me very absent-minded. I finally realized that Adam was standing in the middle of the room, each one of us, one by one, whistling a song to him: if he guessed wrong, then it’s onion-hell for him. It was my turn to whistle a song then. I think about it for a moment, and then I start to whistle this famous hit from a couple of years earlier, but I was pretty drunk, so I didn’t really realize how weird the sounds coming out of my lips were, but my friends laughing should have been a wake-up call.

Eventually, Adam ran out of time, because he couldn’t guess the song I was “singing” to him. He was mad, almost furious, but it was the alcohol talking.

“Tim, you’re an idiot!” he was understandably angry, because it was my fault. “That wasn’t even a real song, you asshole!”

Didn’t help that we were all laughing at him, but my friend didn’t accept defeat, and he actually had all the rights to.

“I’m not going to eat those fucking onions!” Adam shouted. “Tim made me lose: he should be the one choking on that shit!”

I wasn’t offended, to be honest. I was actually laughing like the rest of the guys.

“Dude… we’re out of onions!” Jim said, noticing the empty plate.

We all laughed even more after that and I may have given to my angry friend a smug-ish look. I was just kidding, but he took it very seriously.

“Oh you’re going down, Tim. Just you wait…”

He eventually convinced our other pals that I was, indeed, deserving a “punishment”.

“Make him lick your dog’s balls!” someone suggested. “Leave my princess out of this!” Adam replied, offended.

It’s like the entire group stopped being drunk just to decide what disgusting task I should have done. I just laughed the whole time: it’s part of the game, they were not mean-spirited. Even Dave suggested some stuff, like drinking expired milk with my nostrils. Each suggestion was met with a mixture of laughter and disgust.

After a couple of minutes of discussion, I felt Dave once again elbowing me.

“Gentlemen, please!” he shouted, in a slightly sarcastic tone. “Since you’re wasting my time, I propose an entire new bet. Whether the result, Tim will still get his… punishment, trust me!”

He was trying not to laugh, but he did earn some puzzled looks from our other pals.

“If Tim survives to this for 5 minutes straight…” he leaned a bit, the couch shaking again under the pressure of his enormous, muffled fart, which lasted 4 seconds. Our other friends laughed immaturely and I started to sweat. “…then you guys are going to give us 20$. Each.”

Dave was insane. Was he really going to do what I think… no, that’s just crazy. It can’t be, come on! There was people watching us! Our friends were a both amused and disgusted. But also intrigued.

“But if he gives up, then Tim owes Adam… let’s see… 200$” “What?!” I thought, the money-part being the only thing I disagreed with. The thought of Dave face-farting me was amazingly distracting as usual.

As our friends discussed Dave’s proposal, my gassy friend just patted my shoulder. “Come on Tim, that’s some easy bucks, right?” he whispered, chuckling a bit. My fetish was just a weird, fun game to him, and I couldn’t have been happier. But in front of our pals? That was too strange even for my standards.

When I turned to my gassy bro, however, he was already leaning on his back, his legs cocked up, his loose dark grey jeans forming that well-known “barrage” made of denim, a really familiar sight for me. I heard my friends laugh, Adam getting closer to me, his hands on my shoulders.

“Come on Tim… I want to see your face turn green!”

He was trying to sound threatening, but he couldn’t help but laugh; I know Adam: he’s just a friendly dork trying to act tough and I knew that he was actually finding the entire situation immaturely hilarious. But he had to look mad, it’s part of his… character.

I heard Dave sucking some air in his ass, his jeans now sagging, exposing a bit of his red underwear (interesting color, that’s for sure). The weird sounds coming from my friend’s butt were the only thing I could hear, despite my friends laughing. Every time Dave farted was like a dream coming true, but this time we were not alone. I stopped thinking about how risky the situation was for a moment, knowing that my friends would never suspect what was really going on between me and Dave, and just listened to the chorus of “Sniff it!”.

I gently buried my face in that soft, denim pillow, his legs slowly wrapping around my head, as if he was hugging me, trapping me in his gas-chamber. With my nose touching his underwear-covered anus, I could still feel the air being sucked in. A moment of silence, and then I felt his butt-muscles relax, and a first fart began.

It was so loud it’s hard to describe. Despite being on command, it was incredibly gross and wet-ish. The smell was rancid and unbearable, the mixture of alcohol and onions in Dave’s stomach probably produced something that no human would have been able to handle. The fart was so strong… loud, manly: my entire face was shaking, I swear I’ll never get used to his gassy talent. I could barely hear my friends laughing: my ears were devoted to Dave’s immense display of flatulence.

I coughed a bit, pretending to hate the smell, when the truth was obviously really different. This first fart alone lasted almost 20 seconds, one of the longest I’ve ever experienced from him. Our friends clapped their hands in approval, having yet another shot of vodka, a toast to the incredible display of fart-talent they just witnessed, and just kept laughing immaturely.

As they laughed, I saw Dave’s face just above that “barrage” of sagging jeans: as usual, he was laughing, and smiled at me, and then winked: his “plan” was working great. I felt his hand brushing through my hair and gently pushing me even deeper into the denim depths of his ass, this time with my nose almost perfectly aligned with his underwear-clad anus.

Dave’s grip, as usual, felt more like a caress, and the fart that immediately followed was just as big as the first one. And hilarious as well. “This is a natural one!” I heard him say, basically bragging about his gassy-abilities, as the fart kept going strong, our friends laughing again. “Pull him closer!” Jim shouted, then (probably him) pushed me even more “inside” of Dave’s butt (I couldn’t tell if it was Jim, as my face –and eyes- was completely buried in my friend’s fart-shooter). Dave made his butt comically wiggle a bit, forcing some toots out: my nostrils were almost burning, the stench being a mixture of rotten onions and burning vodka-lemon.

“That’s so gay!” Adam laughed. Ironically, he was right, about me at least.

“3 minutes already!” I heard somebody scream. I almost lost track of time: as I said, those farts make me absent-minded. Dave just kept ripping this series of loud rips one after one, without even sucking in. I couldn’t tell anymore whether he was farting on command or not anyway: he was just so good at it that the farts always felt natural (and, 99% of times, they were). “Aww man.” Dave chuckled, lying down slowly. He was tired, exhausted. “Can I turn around?!” he asked. They all simply laughed in response, though I also heard some gagging sounds.

My best friend turned around slowly, adjusting his position, his legs somehow keeping my face planted in his ass, as if he was “wrestling” me down, albeit very slowly and gently. He was now lying on his stomach, his loose-jeans butt looking like a beautiful pillow made of denim, his red underwear slightly popping out.

“Do your longest one, Dave!” Adam suggested. I was both mad and grateful for that.

He then came closer and made sure that my face was buried in the farter’s butt, pushing me even deeper in it. Dave just laughed, while I was trying not to get as red as tomato. I just couldn’t believe how open-minded Dave was about this, going as far as face-farting me in front of everyone else; granted, the bet was a smart excuse, but still, I was speechless. I didn’t even feel embarrassed: it was like a big prank, and friends alway prank each other, but the friendship remains intact, if not even stronger.

“Alright, I feel a good one… ready?” my gassy friend said, but it’s like he was talking to me only, as if we were alone as usual, during one of our fart sessions.

It’s like his butt “hugged” my face even more, right before the explosion that engulfed my entire, defenseless head in a cloud of stench. The fart shook my entire face and part of the couch like an earthquake. The chainsaw-like sounds were as loud as a thunder; the whole flatulence sounded fake, but it wasn’t, at all. 10 seconds, but the fart kept going strong, almost unnaturally.

I caught a glimpse of Dave’s smile as he slightly turned his head around, making sure I was enjoying it, but the rest of our friends didn’t notice that apparently, as they were too busy laughing and clapping their hands. “No way!” Adam shouted, in a mixture of anger and hilarity: as the fart was still being ripped, Dave slightly lowered his jeans a bit, fully exposing the red underwear, the sound getting even louder. I felt his hand again pushing me between his buttcheeks, as he spread his legs a bit more. I was having a close-encounter with his anus, the underwear acting as one final line of defense separating me from the real source of that gas. The smell was unbearable: onions smelt nice in comparison. And it was great.

As a “big finale”, as Dave announced it, the flatulence turned as loud as it was humanly possible, the ear-piercing sound almost destroying my own eardrums. My nostrils were burning, my nose getting wet-ish due to Dave’s sweaty buttcheeks. It was the most intense face-farting that my best friend ever made me experience… and he was straight: imagine if he was gay!

“No fucking way!” Adam roared. “5 minutes!”

Everyone else cheered and laughed, playfully throwing pillows at our angry friend. I slowly sat back, Dave doing the same, tying his jeans belt again. He patted on my shoulder, laughing, while I was doing my best to tame my huge boner, hidden by my own jeans.

“No way! You guys did this before, come on!”

Adam asked, ironically (if only he knew…), now laughing too, as he took a 20$ bill out of his wallet. The rest of the guys reluctantly did the same, throwing money at us, disgusted and amused at the same time.

The entire living-room now smelt like onions and rotten alcohol (if rotten-alcohol existed… does it exist?), everyone moaning in disgust, while me and Dave counted the money we just earned… by cheating.

“Easiest bucks we ever made!” he whispered, handing 50% of the cash to me, elbowing me like he did other times. “Great job!” he chuckled.

We all had another shot of vodka-lemon, and the night proceeded as usual, as Jim found another stash of onions hidden in the fridge. As the really clever betting continued, my gaze landed more than once on Dave… just Dave, sitting next to me, as if nothing happened. He’s like a brother, my best friend. He did that for me, he felt he was really gassy because of all the alcohol… and so farted in my face as an excuse, money or not.

Yes, I bet Dave did all of that for me, not just the money. And that’s another bet I’m sure I’ll win.

End of Episode 6

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #gayfart #malefarts

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bagadew · 3 years

Text

The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Adventure of the Great Departure (Part 1)

So it’s finally here, The Great Ace Attorney! I know practically nothing about this game, except that it’s a) set in Victorian London, b) has the themes of racism and xenophobia you’d expect from a game where you play a Japanese immigrant in Victorian London, and c) features Herlock Sholmes the himbo detective! (Also I think there might be a cereal killer plot, but I’m not too sure.)

Right away I’m being given a lot of very useful information regarding the historical setting for this game. Unfortunately I’m unable to fully process it because two seconds in and I’ve already been accused of murder!

Oh Ace Attorney how I’ve missed you.

Hello Kazuma! I like the way your headband billows even though there’s no wind, and I hope you have a much longer and fuller life than my last Ace Attorney mentor.

Ok so it seems like we’re both students at the same university, but Kazuma is the protégé golden boy, who’s about to be sent abroad because he’s just That Good. Fortunately I (Ryunosuke) am his beloved best friend, and will therefore be allowed to tag along (which is a really damn good job because I’m the one front and centre of the box).

Say what you will about incredible aura, but I’m pretty sure Kazuma’s just set up some sort of fan mechanism under there.

Hello Pink Lady from the box!

As a seasoned Ace Attorney player I am immediately suspicious of anyone from the first case who isn’t a main character. I’m watching you professor!

Ok so from what I can gather from our exchange the Professor Mikotoba is the forensics pathology professor at the university (I wonder if his daughter, or whoever the pink lady is, will be our Ema Skye), and if Kazuma the golden boy takes our case an loses he won’t get to go fulfill his dream of studying abroad.

Frankly, from all their idealistic chatter about jolly old Britain, I feel like these boys might be in for a bit of a rude awakening once they actually make it to London. And I’m not sure Ryunosuke, with all his beautiful naïve innocence, is going to do too well.

And speaking of beautiful naïve innocence...

No Ryunosuke! Don’t agree to things like that!

I’m beginning to suspect Ryunosuke’s just being used as bait for Kazuma. Like someone out there really doesn’t want Kazuma to go abroad for some reason, and so they’re using his less good best friend to trap him in the country.

Oh Ryunosuke...

In all my years playing Ace Attorney I have never been more torn by a suggestion box. On one hand, the first time I play an Ace Attorney game, I try and play it in the way it should be played. And so, even though this is an UNBELIEVABLY STUPID DECISION, I feel like Ryunosuke, a man who doesn’t seem to have the words ‘Set Up’ in his dictionary, would not even hesitate to bellow I do because Professor Mikiller told him to.

On the other hand this is an UNBELIEVABLY STUPID DECISION and Kazuma should clearly be in charge.

Ok, I’ve decided I’m going to press it (partly because I think the game might punish me if I don’t) but I will have my head in my hands as I do so.

See Kazuma agrees with me.

Oh fuck, the victims John Watson Wilson!!!

Ok, so I’m re-evaluating my assumption that I (Ryunosuke) was simply bait for Kazuma, it looks like I was instead the poor expendable mug who can be pinned with causing an international incident. Is it bad that I feel like I’ve been promoted?

My god, everyone must have had a heart attack when Kazuma the Golden Boy stepped up to defend me. No wonder they didn’t want him involved!

Ok let’s bring out Professor Mikotoba the witness, so he can explain how he’s played us like a damn fiddle-

WHO THE HELL IS THAT!?!

I would like to take this opportunity to apologies to Professor Mikotoba, who is I can only assume a beloved recurring character. I’m very sorry sir but I did not see you on the box. Yes I understand that, as someone who’s favorite character is Gumshoe, this was no excuse. Please forgive me.

Side note though: Satoru’s whole *hacks up blood* ‘It’s nothing, this just happens sometimes, please ignore it and continue’ thing is the most relatable thing I’ve seen so far. As someone with a chest condition whose lungs sometimes just bleed, this is literally the response you develop. I know this guys probably a murderer and that’s probably Crime Related Blood, but for now the two of us understand each other.

Ok, so from that cross examination we’ve got one mysterious lady the waiter says he never saw, one unwillingly received Buisness card from Satoru Hosonaga, and one coughing fit my lungs started after watching Satoru wheezing away.

WHAT IS THIS!!??!!

MORE WITNESSES!!??!!

ON A FIRST CASE??!!!

DO THE SACRED LAWS OF FIRST ACE ATTORNEY CASES MEAN NOTHING TO THIS GAME!?!??

This is a neat mechanic though, and one I’ve been hoping would make it to a cannon Ace Attorney game since the Professor Layton crossover. It seems like we’re just sticking to standard testimony listening for now, rather than checking between reactions, but I’m very happy to see it’s return.

GET HIS ASS KAZUMA!!!

(Kazuma’s quickly becoming my favourite, it’s a lot of fun to have the Edgeworth over your side of the courtroom for once)

Ok, so Kazuma (who’s name my iPad now autocorrects into all caps) has shown me how to examine evidence, meaning that if I had, shall we say, a receipt with the word Maya written on it, I could turn it over to see what was written on the other side.

So, while I now know that Dr Watson Wilson wasn’t able to have tucked into that big juicy steak behind him, I just want to check that business card Satoru was so unhappy to give away...

Interesting...

I don’t know what this means, but it sure is interesting...

Now back to slamming an old man with a stolen coin (that was probably taken by the penniless guy next to him)

I’m not sure how he’s managed it, but Auchi has somehow become the most slapable of the Pains.

GET THEIR ASS RYUNOSUKE!!!

(I like how his desk slam’s changed as he gets more confident)

DAMN STRAIGHT WE’D TAKE ON THE GOVERNMENT!!!

So there’s been a coverup! Well that explains the detective posing as a waiter, but it still leaves a huge question mark over the identity of the woman in question. Other than possibly Satoru, who I can’t see as having any reason to dress up, I don’t feel like any of the current witnesses could fit the bill. Whoever she is, though, it must be someone who’s involvement could cause more problems if she was found out, which would mean that she’s either someone with a lot of political influence in Japan, or she’s someone who followed the good Dr from England (and might well have a lot of influence there).

Either way I’m beginning to suspect that, in great break from Ace Attorney tradition, NONE OF THE WITNESSES COMMITTED THE CRIME!!! (Or at least not this one.)

Don’t worry Kazuma, I turned the receipt business card over this time!

Screenshots don’t do this justice.

I don’t know what makes this better, Ryunosuke’s cheerful mile wide supposition, or the speed at which Satoru cut him off.

...are they Satoru? Are they really?

At this point I would apologies to Satoru Hosonaga, however I feel like he might have been using me as the scape goat for this murder, so I’m going to say that I’m not sorry. (We still have a weird blood related understanding though, and for that reason I am not as hostile as I might have been)

Yeah, that’s fair Ryunosuke.

WAIT WHAT!?!

Oh, it’s just a flash back gunshot. I thought someone had just whipped out a gun and shot the detective before he could say another word!

Oh dear, this goes all the way to the top doesn’t it?

Poor Ryunosuke though, he’s not even made it to the stinky rainy streets of London and already his illusions about justice are being shattered. Given that this is effectively the prologue case, I dread to see what comes next.

HELL YEAH JUGE, WERE GETTING THE KILLER LADS!!!

SATURO HOSONAGA YOU’RE BACK ON THE CHRISTMAS CARD LIST (but on thin ice)

‘So it won’t be a problem?’ Ryunosuke, weren’t you listening, it’s going to be a massive problem! Fortunately everyone else in this courtroom has just decided that you know what fuck the government actually, and so we’re doing it anyway!

Hosonaga’s trying really hard to win me back over folks, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t working.

I like this hardass judge! I’ll send him a Christmas card too.

MADE IT TO THE FIRST HALF!

#tgaa #the great ace attorney #the adventure of the great departure #tgaa spoilers #ryunosuke naruhodo #kazuma asougi #john wilson #satoru hosonaga #japan judge #yuujin mikotoba #again I'm very sorry for wildly accusing you professor

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Complicated

Shirabu x Reader

a/n: im not very familiar with shirabu on a spiritual level like i am w the other characters but ill try my best!!

request: okok haikyuu hcs: shirabu is reader’s childhood best friend and messed up their last game in middle school because he changed his setting style to accommodate ushijima,,, and reader, as the manager is very very pissed and they get into a huge fight,,, so once they get to stz they’re academic rivals, reader became the vbc manager just to spite him (oh yea they definitely still have crushes on each other but it’s hard with the current situation) only if it’s ok!! not a lot of ppl write for him :

this is kinda the best friends-to-rivals-to-friends again-to-lovers

requests open!!

lets get our inhalers bc this finna be a wild one luvs

so, basically,

you and him were actually childhood friends since he lived next door to you

lets say you met when you were 5 and you just stuck on to this slightly cold and dismissive boy who was the shy type

idk bout you but i actually like that type

ppl dont really understand how yall got along bc you were the extrovert and the laughing type of girl

he only stuck around bc you were actually a smart person who helped him occassionally w your organized notes

but he still appreciates your time and efforts to be his friend despite his personality

plus, you also liked volleyball and together you both would watch volleyball matches in his house where you would see him with a smile that he unconsciously wears

like when yall were 8, you gave him a volleyball for his birthday since he lost his old one when he was playing by the river

at first, he was like, ‘oh, thanks, i needed this’

but then as he started tossing it up and down, you could see that bashful smile starting to surface

you shrieked,

bc you rarely see it and you think its super cute,

and just wrap him up in a hug and he turns all shy again but with a soft smile and a soft blush

‘thanks, n/n-chan’

uh oh, feelings

stinky

since he mainly focused on doing homework or studying, not a whole lot of kids really approached him to hang out since they thought he only lived to study and play volleyball

but you didnt care bc youve been friends w this bun for a long time and you know hes not really like that

he has fun moments too

since you were the manager of the volleyball team, you always try to showcase how fun he was by trying to take the team to bonding places

the team does think that shirabu has fun but only if its w you

anyways

one afternoon, you naturally just go to his house w him since your mothers know youre practically best friends and so you basically live in each others houses

yall were about halfway through middle school so shirabu has been studying more to get scholarships for schools

he was studying on the little table while leaning against his bed while you were just lounging on his bed after studying

‘ken-channnnn’

oikawa 2.0

‘hm’

you pouted at the distracted reply before sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind him and placing your chin on his shoulder

‘lets do something fun!!!! im boredddd’

he wasnt really fazed by the skinship bc youve been like that to him since day 1

but thats going to change soon

‘i have a new sudoku book over there that you could do’

omg what

‘ken-chan!’

you shrieked in betrayal before leaping off the bed and grabbing his arm to stand him up

shirabu was actually annoyed that you were distracting his studying but seeing a wide grin on your face made him double stop

am i,,,, catching feelings?

nah, he just going through puberty

‘lets go to the fall market! yuki-chan told me theres a new food place that opened and theyre handing out free samples!’

you excitedly told him and continued shaking his arm to persuade him in going

‘n/n-chan, this is my only free day from volleyball to study. i need to pass the test on friday’

you rolled your eyes at that lame excuse

‘i know. i set up the schedule differently bc you have a big test on friday! but you would still have time to study!’

‘but im still unfamilair with the topic-’

‘cmon, ken-chan! youre so smart you could rival buddha!’

‘i dont think,,,,, thats a right comparison’

‘either way, we’re going to hang out and have fun!’

he honestly didnt know why he was at this crowded market w you

shirabu is a whole simp

‘omg ken-chan! look! takoyaki!’

you dragged him to the stall and the nice old lady smiled before taking your order

‘1 box please. ken-chan, you want?’

he shook his head no and started taking out his wallet to pay

but you stopped him

‘no, you dont have to pay since youre not eating’

‘but i want to’

‘ken-chan! you need to save up for college!’

‘no its fine im pay-’

‘here ya go, dear. free of charge’

you both stopped at the nice lady’s sentence

‘b-but’

‘no it’s okay. its cute to find a boy who’s willing to pay for his girl since that doesnt really happen nowadays. i hope you have a great rest of your date!’

‘it’s not a da-’

‘thank you, maam’

shirabu takes the box and leads you out of there

you smirk and poke his tummy

‘you want to go on a date with me, ken-chan~?’

he turns red and looks away

‘no. it wouldve taken longer to fully explain the situation so just go along with it to make it faster’

you giggled

‘hm sounds fake but okay’

you both continue to walk around the market and even buy a few things like a mini buddha statue or a pair of cat ears for both of you

with everything you bought, shirabu payed with it all

you were pouting as you walked and he noticed so he nudged you with his elbow

‘oi, what’s wrong?’

you crossed your arms

‘hm.. i dont like that ken-chan is buying and spending money for me on things that symbolize our fun. i want to give ken-chan something to remember this day too!’

shirabu grows flustered but hes really confused

youve always been a thoughtful person who tries to be independent but unconsciously ends up depending on others like him

but your thoughts of wanting to do something in return for him just sounds like heaven right now

lmao what a simp

he looks around for a place that could have something that sparked his interest but nothing caught his eye

until he caught a photo booth by the corner

‘oi, n/n-chan, let’s go there’

you followed his finger and you gasped

‘thats perfect, ken-chan! let’s go!’

you drag him to the booth and you giddily enter the coins for the machine to start

but he was starting to think this wasnt a good idea

he was in a cramp space with you pressed against him

but youve always been glomped to his side since yall were kids so what was the difference now?

bc you catching feelings, fool!

‘ken-chan! its starting!’

he finally snaps out of his flustered state and he raises a peace sign with a smile

with all the pictures, there were funny pictures of you and him,

well mainly you

but he was happy to have them w you

‘ken-chan, you know i love you, but when will you fix your hair?’

he glared at you

‘i like it so its staying that way’

you giggled at his attitude

‘okay, ken-chan. at least it would make you stand out in the crowd so i dont have to look for you!’

you hugged his waist and he froze up, suddenly feeling awkward with this familiar position

its okay, shes naturally like this so calm down

dontcrydontcrydontcrydontcry

after your hang out, he didnt even bother going back to studying

he just laid on his bed, looking at the strip of pictures with a fond smile

he was happy that you only showed that true, bright, happy grin to him

it was only for him

and he only showed his to you

bc you were you and you were the greatest thing, next to his parents, that he has in his life

omg that thought

he freezes and the picture falls on his face at that realization

omg, does he like you?

youre a great friend and his best friend and he wants to be your friend forever

but then, he realizes

youd separate one day and youd have a boyfriend and get married and have a family without him

no, he wasnt going to let that happen

he didnt like that thought

and thus, began his crush for you

and you were the same thing too but you noticed it later than him

oof, when this one girl confessed to him at the back of the school, you cried to him when yall got home

‘when ken-chan has a girlfriend, he wont hang out with me anymore! hes not going to be my friend anymore!’

it took some reassurance from him and more from your mom, when you got home, to realize that you liked your best friend

and thus began the skinny love stage

the whole volley team knew of your pining and tbh, they thought yall were dating but you were just like, nah, we friends

if anyone were to look at you, they would think the same thing

but ofc, yall are insecure hormonal teenagers who think that the other doesnt like them and if they confess, they would be rejected and that would ruin their friendship and they would not be friends anymore and they dont think they could handle that so its better to keep the feelings hidden and remain friends bc if theyre happy, theyre happy

oml my entire love life

this continued on until the last year of middle school

bc not only do you suddenly stop being friends, you became rivals

so as volleyball manager, you helped the team with whatever they needed in return of them doing their absolute best and winning the game

the last game of the year, you were slightly confused at the way shirabu was playing bc it wasnt the normal way he sets

before, his sets were so good that he could give it to any player and they would spike perfectly

but now, it was so different due to the simple, almost lazy, and very high tosses

the team was slightly irritated bc they couldnt keep up with the high tosses so they couldnt hit it

in between the sets, during break, you pulled him aside as you wiped off his sweat

‘ken-chan, youre not setting properly to the others. theyre getting angry because it doesnt allow them to spike right.’

he glares at you, with almost manic eyes

‘its their fault for not being able to jump high enough. in order to get a point, the ace must get a high toss to aim a quick spike’

‘but theyre not able to jump that high, ken-chan!’

you whispered, worried that he was going too intense and they would lose the game

all the hard-work the others put in, all to waste

‘i dont care. i must start early and change early so ushijima could hit my sets in the future’

‘but they’re not ushijima, kenjiro!’

you whisper-yelled

‘right now, theres no ushijima, no oikawa, its just you and the team. your team’

he was shook that you used his first name and the way you were actually telling him off

youve never been like that before

but he was blinded by his goal in the future

‘why is he our ace if he couldnt even hit tosses meant for an ace?’

‘because hes not the ace you’re hoping him to be!’

‘kenjiro, listen to me, these boys have worked their asses off for years to even come close to playing against seijoh or shiratorizawa. im going to do everything i can to make that happen and im not going to let them lose just bc you are too busy focusing on the future rather than the present’

with the way he looked at you, you really thought he would listen to you and play the way his team needs him to play

but no, he played the way he thought ushijima needed him to play

in the end, due to the foreign and unfamiliar tosses, they were unable to hit as much points causing them to lose

you could never forget the looks on your fellow classmates, who were also going to graduate this year, as they watched the ball that shirabu tossed, hit the floor right next to them

to say you were pissed was an understatement

you were F U R I O U S ™

you held the hands of the first years as they were devastated at their first loss

but you caught the eye of your ‘friend’ and he was biting his lip in irritation and anger

as your team was walking to their locker room to get changed, you pulled shirabu aside

‘what the hell’

he stared at you

‘we lost. we lost bc they couldnt keep up’

‘kenjiro! are you not listening to yourself?! you lost because you couldnt accept the fact that your teammates arent ushijima wakatoshi! you couldnt accept the fact that they’re not tall enough! strong enough! ace-like enough! and for what?! for the future?! the future where you’re going to set for someone like ushijima?!’

‘i vowed to set for a player like him, y/n! i want to toss a ball to someone as powerful and as talented as him! thats a promise i intend to keep’

you were dumbfounded

he was acting on his own reasons and selfish intent, even costing them a game, for his preparation in the future

‘i cannot believe you right now. i didnt know you were so selfish, shirabu. of all the years i knew you, you were never like this. so what changed?’

at the almost betrayed look on your face hurt him bc weren’t you always there to help him? to support him? wasnt that the reason you became a manager in the first place?

‘you dont understand, y/n. i need to change the way i play now because it will greatly benefit me in the future’

honestly, you didnt even know why you were so angry about this

sure, it was volleyball and it was just a game

you had high school to win it again

but maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t being the shirabu you knew

the ken-chan you grew up with and harbored feelings for for years

he was turning to someone that worked not for himself, but for some guy he has never even spoken to

you blinked away the tears and looked off the side, away from his face

‘right. the future. yanno, if youre already like this, i dread to think about how you would act once you get that goal of yours. but i know one thing. im not going to be there to see it happen’

god that last sentence

he felt a piece of his world crumble bc were you saying goodbye? were you leaving him?

‘i cant see you torture yourself into changing into a new person, kenjiro. so good luck finding someone who can’

‘oh yea? well, i dont need you! i’ll be perfectly fine on my own and find someone better than you! youre easily replacable!’

that was a big booboo love

that fight costed him more than a decade of friendship and a few years of love

despite living so closely together, you refused to even acknowledge him and when your parents got together, you’d find some way to be out ofthe house or you’d lock yourself in your room

he tried many times to get to you and even cried to you, begging to not leave him

but you willed strong and you left him alone

omg she handled this so bad and i cant w puberting teenagers

eventually, he got tired of chasing you and was now angry at you for picking a team of people youve only met for a few years over him who’s been there for you since you were 5

he was betrayed, cold, and sad

however,

without each other to be there, you both studied even harder and eventually, you were both able to get into shiratorizawa

initially, you wanted nothing to do w that school since you knew kenjiro was going to be in it and that bastard ushijima wakatoshi was too

um,,, babygurl ushi did nothing to you

but your mother really wanted you to go to a nice school since she wanted you to go to a nice college

since yall werent friends anymore, he didnt know you wouldn’t be in shiratorizawa

so imagine his surprise when he saw you entering his class with the girls uniform on and a completely new hairstyle and hair color and were you wearing makeup?!

lmao she acting like they broke up

anyways, all he knows, is that boys were already looking at you and vying for attention and dear god, he didnt know how to handle that

for the first month of school, youd think you would just be ignoring each other like you did back in middle school

but nope!

somehow, yall were now talking again!

except it was a mean type of talking

you see, shirabu studied as much as he breathed and you were just a naturally smart sister who didnt study as much

but you still were able to make it to the top and currently, you were the 1st in your entire class

‘ara ara? 1st again? better luck next time, shirabu-kun~’

he glared at you from his seat as you passed by with a smug grin

this fueding is giving me vertigo

‘shut up. at least some of us work for our grades’

that was so weak lmao

but you turned around to blink your eyelashes, slightly mocking him

‘eh? are you saying that i’m naturally gifted? yanno, shirabu-kun, naturally gifted people are much better than those who have to work for it. you play with ushijima-senpai, right? so you’d know the difference between you two.’

bringing up ushijima always pained him but he kept repeating it to himself that he was doing it so that he could go to nationals

sensing his silence as defeat, you waved your hand and went back to conversing w your other friends

this continued on again for a while and he was already sick and tired of it

not only was it beginning to get annoying, it was beginning to hurt

he cornered you at your locker

aaaaa kabedon!!!!!!!

‘listen to me and listen well, y/n’

yessir im listening

‘whatever the hell youre doing, cut it out. youre not going to rile me up anymore and im not going to give you the reactions you want. i dont understand why youre doing this to me but you need to stop before i make you’

ohgodyessir

ngl, that tone of his voice was the lowest youve heard and it made you so red bc that was just hot

but you gulped before grinning wolfishly, hand pressed against his chest and the other snaking around his neck

you pulled him down to your level so you could lean close to his ear

‘now you listen to me and listen well, ken-chan, youre not my best friend anymore so you can no longer tell me what to do, kay?’

shirabu was just flustered at the close proximity between your lips and his ears that he completely missed your warning

he only snapped out of it when you walked away, heading towards your next class

you sat in class that day, wondering how to tease him more

clearly, just words wouldnt make him irritated

gurl why you doing this

and you were stumped until you saw a red-haired looking guy accompanied by a gray-haired looking guy coming up to you

ofc you recognized them from the volley team since you’ve,,,,,,maybe seen a few practices

you thought theyd just pass by but they stopped in front of you and you looked up w wide eyes

‘can,,,, i help you?’

‘wow shes cute!’

the red head shouted and you shrunk under the gazes of these tall men

‘sorry about him. im semi eita, second year’

you shook his hand and you introduced yourself before soon finding out this other guy was tendo satori

‘so what do you need me for?’

‘you see, we’re kinda in need of a manager. and i think its better to have a manager who is close to a player in the team. i apologize to say this but i saw you and shirabu-san by the lockers the other day and i think its best to have his girlfriend as our manager’

‘g-girlfriend?!’

you shrieked, shocked that they thought you were

at this mention, you got a flashback from the festival and you soon turned bright red at the label of you being kenjiro’s girlfriend

‘and youre so cute y/n-chan! i can see what our darling kouhai sees in you!’

‘no, you got it all wrong its-’

then you stopped

omg this was the perfect opportunity

no gurl stop jesus take the wheel

shirabu would hate it if you were a manager bc that would give you more room to tease him

holy

then you smiled

‘i accept, senpais. i want to see my baby in action after all’

they were ecstatic since it was a hassle to find a manager who wasnt infatuated w ushijima

you exchanged contacts and soon, you were brought to meet the team

oh boy when kenjiro saw you at the door, he dropped the ball on his head

what in the hell were you doing here

‘guys, this is our new manager!’

you peeked out from tendo and waved at them

‘hello, my name is l/n y/n, first year. and im glad to be your manager’

noticing shirabu’s shocked form, tendo and semi shared a look and interpreted as, hes so happy that his senpais chose his girlfriend for him so now he could show off and play better and that could hopefully turn his attitude to be more grateful and respectful rather than this dismissive and disrespectful behavior

but shirabu was dying inside

oh god, youre totally going to tease him during practice and hes not going to be at his best and hes not going to be able to prove himself to ushijima

‘oi! shirabu-kun! come be grateful to your senpais for letting your darling girlfriend as our manager!’

‘hey baby!’

omg, what

again, you have a loud and expressive personality so you were kinda shameless so you just ran up and hugged him

aaaaa this is so embarassing wth

‘didnt you miss me? oh, youre so cute!’

god, he knows youre only here to spite him

right on point, good sir

ugh you were practically teasing him as the manager and you were having so much fun making him all flustered

but he was also spiteful

sometimes, he would stick his foot out whenever youd run towards a player and hed laugh at you embarassing yourself in front of them

youd return the favor by accidentally throwing his water bottle at his face

‘oh, gomen, ken-chan’

the entire time, the team was baffled to see the usual stoic and dismissive shirabu so freely laughing and actually teasing you

they think its just for good fun and not the aim of hurting each other since yall are dating and youre just flirting

combined w being academic rivals and now rivals during the team, you both were unintentionally becoming close again

the brutality was slowly simmering to a low heat

and turn the over on at 350 degrees

now, it was just to make each other flustered

the crush that you thought was gone, was slowly digging itself out like the zombies in plants vs zombies

and my god you were annoyed

from now on, you were nothing but rivals and a parasite on his side

him feeling the same

dating would cause too much and the hurtful words would eventually come back up and you concluded that you were just too different

you didnt conclude shit

one time, the team was walking from practice to a nearby convenience store to pick up food

ofc you were picking out a billion foods and you just shoved them all to his arms

‘my darling boyfriend would pay for it because he loves me. ya know what they say, make his pockets hurt’

he glared at you

‘as far as i remember, i wasnt dating a pig’

ngl, that hurt a little bc hes calling you a fattie

but he still went up to pay for it and you intentionally bumped him with your hips to annoy him but it caused him to drop his wallet to fall

and out came his money and that picture

the picture from nearly 3 years ago

you bent down to pick it up before he could even move

god, yall were so happy and young back then

it was awkward silent since you didnt give it back and yall walked out of the store and the team was sensing the weird vibe around you two

‘oi, what happened? its so tense!’

‘did you fight?’

‘did you get caught making out by the aisles?’

‘ong shut up, kai!’

yall kai is a third year senpai that i completely made up since we dont get insight on the senpais before ushijima

but the team noticed the weird aura around you two and decided to walk away to give yall some space

‘can-will you hand it over now?’

shirabu mumbled

you nodded and pushed it in his hands

‘why,,,, why do you still have it?’

‘you gave it to me. of course id still have it’

you were silent before coughing

‘can we talk?’

‘its about time we do’

yall walked away from the team towards your home but were taking weird turns and corners to prolong the walk

you looked up to see him and you laughed

‘this is ridiculous. its not fair’

‘what are you talking about?’

he whispered

‘i was so angry at you for saying that you dont need me and that you could easily find someone better because i knew that and i didnt like it. but i was so hurt that it came from your mouth. out of everyone, i would rather die than hear you say that to me. i think thats why ive been like this. i dont know, im being stupid. i was being stupid.’

he stopped walking and clenched his fist while glaring at the ground

‘you told me you were going to leave me. you were telling me that you wouldnt be friends with me anymore. i had to choose between you or volleyball and i wasnt at the right state of mind at that time so i chose incorrectly’

you noticed him not beside you anymore so you went behind him to rest your forehead on his back so he would see you since he preferred to be honest while not looking at you

‘ken-chan, we messed up big time, didnt we?’

his body shook as he laughed

‘i guess we did’

‘it was only over a game. i was so mean and dramatic and ive called you names and said bad stuff about you and im sorry’

‘im not innocent either. i said those words to you and im sorry’

despite slightly making up now, you both knew those feelings would have to wait because you were only getting each other back

‘can we start over, ken-chan?’

‘you want to?’

‘yes’

‘then we will’

omg the whiplash this is giving me

so yall are finally becoming friends and your families are relieved yall made up again bc wowza those dinners were torturous

‘now that they made up, we can go back to planning their wedding’

‘MOM NO!’

slowly but surely, everything has been going steady and your friendship was getting better

but you didnt admit to the club about everything bc again, shirabu was like, ‘i dont feel like explaining everything’

you both still kept a rivalry but it was friendly this time with cute wagers like treat me to milk bread or banana milk

tOOrU oIKaWA’s fAvoRiTE fOod iS MiLK bREaD

he came over often and studied w you and yall would end up actually just watching a movie or watching brain games, unconsciously cuddled up on the couch

however,

this new closeness was doing damage to your heart bc you were again reminded of how much you liked this boy

initially, you thought it would just go away and never be seen again but it said

sIKe biH!

every time you saw him, youd unconsciously sweep away a stray hair and fix it to his weird crooked style

but whenever you do that, shirabu would get a close view of your face and omg you were freaking beautiful

and thats saying something from a guy who saw you through your awkward phase

hes unconsciously touching you more and showing more affection, even more than when yall were young

just being w you was emotionally exhausting as he holds himself back from doing drastic things but he was over it

he was done with all the years of pining for you so finally found the balls to do something about it

you were over at his place to study for exams and he was coming back up with juice

you were slumped over your calculus textbook with your hair in a bun and glasses on wearing his clothes

god theyre practically dating already

‘ken-chan, come help me with this’

he nods and goes to sit behind you

with his tall height, he was able to look over your shoulder and place his chin on it and tbh, you were so frustrated w the problem you didnt care about the closeness

‘you misplaced a decimal so everything got all wrong’

he mumbled

you gasped and made a noise of agreement before changing your answer

he didnt move though, instead wrapping his arms around yourwaist

‘oi, n/n’

‘hm’

this is a familiar scene

‘wanna go to the market tomorrow?’

at the mention of the market you stopped and leaned back

oh god your heart leapt at the feeling of his chest behind you but you composed quickly

‘should we?’

you turned to gauge his reaction at your closeness but he gently smiled

‘yea’

‘okay’

you havent been back to the market together since that day and it was so nostalgic as you both did the things you did back then

from the takoyaki to the stalls

it was so fun

but your heart was beating so fast

his smiling face and thoroughly enjoyed face was doing palpations in your heart

you looked away to stop staring at him and found the photo booth

‘look, ken-chan! the photo booth!’

he chuckled at the thought

‘should we go get another one?’

‘yes! come on!’

you quickly inserted the money and shirabu had flashbacks

but this time it was going to be different

‘okay lets start!’

the first picture, it was a peace sign

the second one was a wacky one

but the next one, was different

‘oi y/n’

‘what?’

the shutter went off just in time of him kissing you

the bright light caused you to close your eyes and you soon forgot what was happening

all you knew you were kissing ken-chan

your best friend

turned enemy

turned friend again

and now,,, were you lovers?

this rollercoaster is quite loopy

he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours

‘im sorry if-’

‘no balls, do it again’

and this time you lunged back for another

and again, this time, not only did you give him another photo, but you also gave him your heart

la fin.

yall what did i just write

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #shirabu #shirabu fluff #shirabu kenjiro x reader #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjirou #shirabu kenjiro fluff #shirabu imagines #shirabu kenjiro imagines #shiratorizawa x reader #shiratorizawa imagines

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us-ugay · 2 years

Note

SO GLAD U ENJOYED LOL. I’m personally Arthur “as per my last email” Kirkland in this scenario, I do solution configuration so I constantly have beef w designs ppl give me to set up. Like you’re the one talking to the client, tell them no! and don’t get me started on company parties. We all want to see our families for the holidays, we’re quarantining. Why would we want to go bowling on a Wednesday.

To answer ur question, arthur both sniffs AND microwaves stinky food (dinner leftovers), but it’s balanced by Alfred forgetting Tupperware in the kitchen that gets absolutely RANCID, abandoning half drank coffees in conference rooms by accident, and sending too many gifs on slack. Also, of course, dad sneezes.

They’re both just too competitive to step away from their jobs and also both too judgmental to keep their mouth shut, esp bc they both know they’re good at what they do.

I would like to pitch out there: company retreat. I didn’t go to our most recent one bc of like… everything. But I had a friend message me “no you GOTTA come, everyone’s going to want to go for a morning run in the beach and I can’t be the only one to pass” just like IMAGINE putting these two though all the bonding things and trust games and peer reviews and workshops for a weekend and them both having to pretend they’re not hopelessly addicted to their jobs. Just having to lie about having hobbies. God they would probs try to outdo each other the whole time, but also they (ESPECIALLY arthur imho) would be really judgmental of everyone else’s hobbies.

bro thank FUCK my company doesnt do retreats i think id actually k*ll myself 😂 i assume theres always some bs “get to know you” questions at them and arthur makes up some shit on the spot for his favorite hobby and alfred just brings up shit he hasnt done since college

company potlucks n shit like that? alfred brings a thing of okay homemade ribs but since its probably the more edible thing at the potluck, people rave about it and it drives arthur up the wall that alfreds “winning” at something hes technically participating in but arthur cant cook for shit so he either pays top dollar for some bakery desserts or bribes his friend francis to make something that he passes off as his own (that is if francis doesnt also work at this office 👁👁) but of course inevitably someone asks him questions on how he made it and what he added and arthur flounders and decides never to do that again because he almost made an ass of himself as though he hasnt done that already

along w the science experiments alfred leaves to rot in the freezer (hes the reason the ice has that weird taste to it) hes also the bitch constantly pestering everyone for change for the vending machine 😂

anyways any meeting with those two involved is some weird ass game a 4d chess where they try to out-do each other but since literally no one else gives a fuck no one notices but those two and so alfred will pull out some reports or whatever last minute to throw arthur off and arthur will genuinely get in his feelings for the rest of the day about it when in all actuality it was just a weekly update meeting that most people are texting halfway through anyways

#anon i dont even know ur name but we share a special bond #as dejected twenty something year old office workers #we’re in this together 🤝

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steve0discusses · 3 years

Text

S5 Ep6: Joey Wheeler is on Fire, Yet Again

Came down with a little sickness-not the biggie, just a little sly guy. But I took some meds, I’m a little floaty, I’ve only been listening to baroque music all morning for some reason? And I hate baroque music usually? But I’ll leave it to bro to tell me if this is fluid enough.

Just so you know, these caps were kind of a hot mess for a while and some of them read like that Garfield in of hot eat the food comic until...today. So pls don’t judge me, Judge my damn DMV where no one was following Covid regulations because I’m pretty sure that’s where I got this damn cold.

We start off with Roland getting more attention than he ever has in his entire life. Like honestly, I don’t know what Roland’s job really is...but he’s got a very diverse set of very useless skills. One of which, is knowing how to announce sports games that aren’t really a sport, while those games he’s announcing slowly fall into chaos.

Anyway, Roland’s taking so long cherishing his sweet time before everything goes to hell, that he’s boring Joey, who’s kinda turned into a ball of stress in the waiting room.

A lot of this episode is us watching them watching Joey having a break down moment by moment, TBH.

(read more under the cut)

Yugi telling Joey to study his cards and straight up--what?

Like at this point they know what’s on the cards, right? Like there comes a point where even Yugioh cards have a finite amount of words and I’m just going to assume that like...Joey probably knows them all in his own deck, right?

(bro note: they have no limit on what they will put on a card)

Then again, maybe Yugi doesn’t know what “study” means?

Also, appreciate how some artist crosshatched the hell on Joey’s nose there and I zoomed out and ruined it.

Now for some reason every duelist is hanging out in the duel lodge, including our current arch-villain guy who’s brought a book. I want to know what book this guy even reads so no one could suspect he’s actually a hacker who uses computers. He’s reading romance, right? And I don’t think he’d even be into Twilight, I think he’s straight up into hard core Mom romance like a lame ass Nicholas Sparks over there reading “Dear John” for the millionth time because he is completely un-phased by anything else happening in this room.

Joey, our hero, just out there being an asshole for no reason.

After Tea is pushed into a locker or something screaming about her need for female friends (which she screamed in earshot of Rebecca again, who I figured was on friends terms with her after last episode...but I guess not) Leon hops up to remind us that we should be caring about the fact that his character exists.

And like, I love Leon’s hair color--that’s a good choice, and legit that is the color I tried to dye my hair at the beginning of the epidemic (it didn’t work PS, my hair cannot take dye for the life of it) but also like...he just kinda feels like a weak Rebecca as far as characters go. He’s young, he’s good at cards...I think he goes to a private school? That’s all I can think of about Leon.

He mostly just reminds us that the big prize of this tourney is to duel Yugi, who anyone could have dueled at any point even without the tournament.

On the way out of the...duel room? lounge? Area? Joey decides to like...make peace with Zigfried, and I gotta tell you, I kinda have to side with Zigfried, because Joey spent the last ten minutes being a freak in the dressing room/lounge/bathroom and at one point looked like he was going to hold the entire locker room in a stranglehold.

I would also want some space from Joey Wheeler, is what I’m saying.

After insulting Joey’s style (which honestly, Joey...has a style? He pops his collar, that’s his entire style.) Zigfried assures us that Joey’s gonna lose and like...

...probably, right? Just looking at the plausible direction this season will go.

Anyway, Joey is such a mess (which is the theme of the episode, that Joey needs to learn to chill in order to win at card games) that Rebecca is like “I understand if all of you leave me to go help our poor baby Joey.” And no one felt bad for her.

Mokuba comes over to tell everyone all of the Kaiba family secrets because Mokuba has no filter.

Seto has devoted himself to staring at a computer screen for the rest of this episode. I guess he’ll put their names into Google, realize that social media hasn’t been invented yet, and then just lie his head down on the desk and take a power nap until the tournament is over. Much like I did after taking Dayquil this afternoon.

I like how Seto dressed for success and then locked himself in the server room for most of this arc so far. Maybe he’s just...really tired, I dunno. I don’t really blame the guy, he’s had a hard time.

And then Yugi was like “DAMN IT MOKUBA, JUST ONCE CAN YOU NOT INVITE THE ILLUMINATI???”

And we had a weird scene where Yugi just started talking to the ghost and it was while he was talking to everyone else, and the show didn’t treat it like that’s a weird thing to do...but it was a weird thing to do.

This show does that sometimes, where I guess they imply that Yugi’s Pharaoh conversations are split second conversations but...they’re not, right?

Also this chick ain’t gone yet, and Mokuba is just failing at his entire job for not zeroing in on vibes coming off this chick like stinky cheeseman.

So listen.

Did the Kaibas make like 3 types of Blue Eyes Caboose to one up Noah? Because Noah made one choo choo dragon, and then Mokuba and Seto were like “how dare” and then made sure that everyone ride every single version of the blue eyes caboose just to see how proud of them they were.

How many months of troubleshooting was the train? Like how long in development did Seto and Mokuba spend on these? A lot right? Like most of the time?

I did not check the subs to see if Roland said Jumping or Champion but I like to believe that Roland thought it was a cool new name he gave him.

Then these guys all showed up.

Hey so...can we talk seating arrangements?

Tea decided not to sit next to Yugi after complaining about not spending time with him for like how many episodes? Or was it too awkward to sit on top of what was probably Pharaoh?

Or did Mokuba go like “please, Tea, I cannot sit next to the others because I’m pretty sure one is a mole that is about to go cray” and was Tea like “Good, I need female friends, these ones are driving me crazy!” and then was Mokuba like peering desperately over the edge of his self made dragon train prison realizing he has to listen to Tea complain about boys for the rest of his ride across molten lava?

Headcanons abound about this weird seating arrangement that the animators drew for the reasons they did...but reasons I cannot fully understand. That and the Dayquil is making me overfixate on random stuff.

And also, Tea is kind of the Kaiba’s security’s understudy. Just there to always protect Mokuba with her ass because she’s the strongest woman alive.

PS I missed the tumblr wars because at the time I was trying to like...run a proper business on blogger. When Blogger died and I jumped over here it was like a weird ruin where everyone was like “tumblr is the most toxic place alive” and...I’ve had a really nice time here, actually. Completely missed that civil war period and I have no regrets.

Now I was there for the Petz wars (warz, I guess) where people were very militant about Petz abuse (abuze?) where apparently people were using the spray bottle on their catz too much and people were very, very upset about it to the point that they were like campaigning about it on their angelfire websites with the most bizarre grassroots campaigns that I still recall, to this day because they were like...well they looked like this:

PLAPA. Not only am I 100% positive that only this one guy ever called this movement PLAPA, but I’m 100% positive that not only are Catz not real people, but also this wasn’t actually happening and we never had any proof that it was. Either way, if people knew or suspected that you hadn’t deleted the spray bottle from your game (which at the time I had no idea how to do because I was a wee child) they would basically assume you were on a one way road to being a mass murderer in real life.

In real life we were 7 years old so like...thanks?

But that’s the closest I got to toxicity and at the time I was too young to make an email account and actually converse with these people. I was just there to download their Petz hexes, and I already made a post about how wonderful and incredible Petz Hexing was.

And y’all, I heard, just now after a little deep dive into the Petz Abuse debacle (which yes, is on the wiki), that apparently, like gardening, Petz Hexing came back in a big way during the epidemic--and I have found an active Petz forum in this the year 2021. The only problem is that I no longer remember how to use old timey forums...and I think I’m locked out of seeing most of these threads (and like this forum is so old I think I have to send them a letter in the physical mail to apply). But, I’m pretty sure they’re hosting a picture contest for who’s dogz poses the best. And I’m pretty sure someone created a hexxed Pickle Rick. Or it’s a photoshop that was made to look like a hexxed Pickle Rick.

Dammit why did it have to be Pickle Rick? That’s not worth re-installing Petz and getting it to run on Windows 10...

Guys is this the Dayquil? Is this really happening? I feel like I’m losing my mind for so many reasons...

Anyway, speaking about useless hexing it’s about time that our villain did something that was actually dangerous, so Zigfried decided to install a new virus that does more than turn off the lights. (it still turns off lights)

the Spreadsheet Virus!

Confounded by the spreadsheet software, it...um...it does this:

Straight up how does Excel make a volcano erupt? Is that why I have to pay for Microsoft office now?

All this because Joey made fun of Zigfried’s naturally pink hair? Which is the most normal hair on this series outside of like...Tristan?

Hey guys...Joey’s fine, right? Like how many times has Joey been on fire? And once in an iron cage next to like...a Fire Golem?

Joey’s fine.

MAN I miss Fire Golem. He had a good mug.

And then we just kinda watch chaos go across the park, chaos that includes: Too many ghosts in the haunted mansion (which honestly--you’ll get your money’s worth, sounds great!), the Ferris wheel goes kinda fast and thus might accidentally be fun, the lights turn off at some concert stage that only had 2 people on it (so it might just be motion detector lights and not even a virus), and um...literal fire and magma are going to set Joey Wheeler on fire.

Just...one of these events does not seem like the others. In fact most of these things sound like good improvements to the park and they should just hire Zigfried at this point.

Roland puts down his microphone and jogs across the stage, about a mile through the audience bleachers, and into the staff lounge, to go and bother Seto Kaiba, who is in a room that has a hi-def classical painting copy-pasted on the wall and I can’t look away from it.

I almost did a Google search on this painting but then thought better about it. There’s like...a billion classical paintings that look exactly like this, and they wouldn’t use like a Monet, they would have to do something that’s harder to catch to avoid copyright issues (because yes, even old ass paintings have copyright issues, but no one tell NFT’s which are going to be so freakin screwed and was such a bad idea, that I can’t even start).

Anyway, I have no idea who it is and it is legitimately driving me up a wall, but I’m on too much meds to do the effort of putting it in a reverse google image search.

Plus, a reverse google image search would only pull up Seto Kaiba.

So Kaiba takes us on a little flashback to his weird ass past, a weird ass past that just...doesn’t follow any of the established timelines, but I assume was shortly after adoption but before Seto got into a phase where he wore his school outfit everywhere and tried to shove his MMO off onto his Dad as a business model.

Seto is like 8 for some reason. I don’t know why, they kinda drew him younger this season anyway, like maybe they got a lot of fan mail and realized “Hey I think we made the 16 yo boy too sexy?” And they just toned Seto the hell down. That, and it’s a different animation team, and maybe they looked at Seto’s character design and were like “we don’t get paid enough to draw this well.” So...since Seto actually looks like a teen again, I guess his 12 year old self has to look like he’s in Elementary school.

Also, I only recognized this, because at some point in S3 as I was roasting Noah Kaiba’s weird fashion:

I remember distinctly roasting that little bow tie. I don��t remember when I wrote it, I think there was a version of this outfit that was in color...but I don’t remember where.

Anyway, it’s not the same jacket...but man that’s kind of awkward, ya? Like the maid who dressed Mokuba deffo got fired?

He um.

Turned the lights off a little bit.

Guys this villain is like...

...why does he think lights are scary? Like look at little Seto here. The boy is already bored. Seto duels on the edges of cliffs...he doesn’t care about the freakin dark.

We had a guy who killed everyone on the planet last season, and this season we have a little fashion gremlin standing in the corner and flicking the light switch going “wooooo you never catch me!” and it’s like...

...I’m starting to think this guy isn’t a witch.

Like we’re at Episode 6, there’s still time for this guy to be a witch...but I really am starting to think this guy is just...straight up not a witch. It’s everything Seto wanted, a rival who isn’t a freakin magic person...and sets Joey only fake on fire instead literally on fire like last time...

and Seto is just completely unhinged by it.

Anyway, I’m off to go drink a bowl of soup and pass out. If you’re new here, this is a link to read these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#yugioh #yu gi oh #ygo #S5 #Ep6 #Yugi Muto #Seto Kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Tea Gardner #Tristan Taylor #Mokuba Kaiba #zigfried von schroeder #rebecca hawkins #I talked about catz again #leon #but not the kings of leon guy #I mean he could be

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