#Abuse implied

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Inspired by this and the fandom headcanon that Susie's home life isn't... that great

[traumasurvivors]

Children deserve patience.

I remember all the times growing up that I’d get in trouble for something I said or did, and I’d get in more trouble when I asked for an explanation. I was told I was “talking back” or being a “smart ass” when I literally was just trying to understand.

I also find that I’d get punished for being emotional. Even if I didn’t handle them in the right way, that was an opportunity to teach me how to handle them better. Instead I got in trouble and it just taught me to suppress my emotions. And honestly? Adults have bad days and difficulty handling their emotions. But somehow as a child, I was punished for not being perfect.

I think, for my parents at least, they’d get upset and ask why I was disrespecting them or doing something to them. And I think that’s the problem. They took my actions to mean I was maliciously trying to upset them when that was never the case. Instead of sitting back and trying to figure out why a child might be doing what they’re doing, they took it personally and that’s what made them so angry. If you think someone is intentionally trying to upset you, it’s going to likely upset you. And that wasn’t a fair assumption to make.

Children deserve patience and the benefit of the doubt.

[marblebagcollective]

meow

[beetlelegs2003]

Heather and “The Hum”

[traumatoonz]

I was doodling and it turned into this 🥹🤲🏽 babies ! ! !

[altschmerzes]

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

OH GOSH YEAH THERE IS it's called 'without grace, without understanding' (thanks wrinkle in time) and it's a reimagining of the training arc with roy and jamie in season 3

this got a little long so it is..... under a cut lsdfkjs.

update: 'a little long' this is basically a fic in itself lmfao WHOOPSIES. i guess i may as well actually tag it, enjoy... whatever this is.

started off with me thinking about the myriad of ways that could've been a fascinating plot to use to explore those two characters' trajectories and their relationship to themselves and each other and this sport. roy's lack of trust in himself and his conviction that he ruins things.

and it's like... thinking about how roy's approach is uh. a bit much sometimes and jamie particularly doesn't necessarily react super well to that and has a tendency to take things the wrong way even when they are well delivered, and thinking about roy's concerns this season about his coaching skills. that he's REALLY worried about being a good coach. and the stuff in season 2, where he was worried he was Ruining Phoebe somehow, just.

and there's the jamie of it all. him trying to hard to be better, to do better, not sure how to make it work. how to make it happen. how to be as good as zava, be better than zava. still trying to deserve the second chance he's been given. still a brat a lot of the time bc he is who he is but also trying so hard to be good. be cooperative. be a team player. Work Hard Enough.

so you get into the actual training of it, right. they're working together one on one, and roy is pushing him. hard. and i looked at that and went. okay this is supposed to be humorous but also what if we took it seriously. what if roy pushed him TOO hard and jamie just let him because he’d do basically whatever roy told him to and thinks he’s supposed to shut up and not whine and Be Good. and this somehow ends up pushing jamie so hard he’s just completely exhausted or hurt somehow and roy is absolutely horrified by this. and is like NOPE i cant do this i shouldn’t be doing this and doesn’t really communicate to jamie why he’s calling it off. he just does it. so jamie thinks he’s done something wrong and roy thinks he’s protecting jamie by (freaking out and) walking away and it’s a MESS they gotta sort out.

somewhere in there there's a thing with roy and the coaches or the diamond dogs as a whole, right. after he's walked away from training jamie one on one and their relationship is extremely strained bc roy is spiralling beyond proportion like Oh Fuck, Oh Gd, I Was Ruining Him, I Was Hurting Him and jamie is like He's Done With Me He Don't Want Fuck-All To Do With Me. so things are... weird. they're not really talking. they're both upset and hating it. but roy sort of. he doesn't stop coaching jamie again at all, but he does sort of. he pulls back. he goes stiff and distant and doesn't engage. he doesn't ice him out like in s2 but he's not. there. either.

and so they're talking and he's like. (in his mind the training is like. paused. they're Taking A Break.) but he's like. i need to talk to you about jamie. and the others are like... yeah, sure seems like it! and roy just admits. i don’t know how to train him. what i know how to do isn’t working. what worked on me isn’t working (ted/beard/someone voice maybe it perhaps Didn’t Work On You in a good way, but-) so What Do I Do.

which gives ted the opportunity to pay it forward with some advice and just - positive reinforcement. maybe try approaching this differently. he’s destroying himself trying to make you happy, make you proud, do good in your eyes. he idolizes you, not sure how AWARE of that you are, but he does. still. maybe try using that - tell him what he’s doing right.

(and that's the fuck of it all right is like. there's this part of roy that's been wondering if he's a bad coach for the opposite reason, too. he's been wondering if he's been too soft on jamie, and maybe that was the problem. it was something that was gnawing at him, before jamie worked himself sick/hurt and he realized his approach was massively backfiring, that like... maybe he was a bad coach because he couldn't be harsh enough. but he couldn't just. he couldn't stomach being like the coaches he'd had, he just couldn't do it. and then that happened, and obviously that wasn't it, but it was in there somewhere)

but so he talks a bit about that there, like, it comes up somehow - the coaches he had when he was young. when he was a kid and when he was coming up. he talks about how he was trained and they’re like right okay sure and how do you feel about those coaches now? how did they make you feel about yourself? is that how you want jamie to feel about you? is that how you want to know he feels when you talk to him?

he doesn't. he doesn't want jamie to feel like that about him, to feel like that when looking at him. because roy respected those coaches and wanted them to be impressed with him but he was afraid of them too. and he never thought for a minute that he ever lived up to their expectations. and fuck, gd, he never, ever wants that for jamie.

and that's the point ted and beard and company sort of gently make to him too like.

and so it's like. he trusts you. he looks up to you. he'd do anything you asked him to. that's good, that helps, but it means you gotta be careful too, y'know?

so he has to figure out a new approach. and it's like. roy doesn't need a personality transplant, don't get me wrong. he's never gonna be ted and he doesn't need to be. that's not the goal here. it's about figuring out how to be tough without being mean, right? and maybe a little about figuring out how to let himself soften.

(especially since half the time it’s his own younger self he’s hollering at imo. and so treating jamie better sort of asks him to realize he should’ve been treated better too. Be Kinder To Him And In Doing So Give Your Own 24 Year Old Self Some Gentleness And Grace.)

so roy offers to resume training with him after some other stuff happens etc, this is the part i have less thought through lmao.

(there's a subplot also with isaac and captain stuff and figuring out there's something up with jamie and not knowing what and trying to piece it together. love that too.)

and there's a scene in the end, right, where we get this whole... they've sorted things out, they're resuming training again, roy has extracted a promise from jamie to Speak The Fuck Up if things aren't going well, and he's promised to be less of a hardass generally, and then there's a bit where he like. apologizes for ever having been that hard on jamie in the first place and not thinking about whether that was the right approach.

and jamie just... he shrugs. he's not affected by this. "gotta make sure i don’t go soft, yeah?" and roy is like. no. absolutely not. stop right there.

which is when roy then makes the very specific point that like. when they talk about jamie’s performance on the pitch and how he should approach it sometimes he needs to be a prick, and he needs to worry about being permissive or passive or whatever else, but even if they have to bust out a thesaurus they will not be referring to him as soft. we will not be using that language here. do you understand me?

which... jamie. doesn't, really. he's like ??? and tries to brush it off at first like pshh that’s just the same thing “don’t want to be noncommittal or passive on the pitch ain’t that just the same thing as soft just more letters” and roy is like no. no it’s not. there’s implications in- in calling someone soft that there ain’t in there, and even if it is, so what. that’s a word that’s been used to hurt you. right? and jamie’s just kinda sullenly silent and roy goes right. which is why im not fucking using it. that’s the fucking point im trying to make here. if i can help it im not gonna fucking hurt you because i really don’t want to.

which y'know. is a lot. it's a lot for both of them. but they figure it out.

i’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while tbh but keep being like no that’s excessive- that’s dramatic- whatever this arc is gonna turn into it doesn’t NEED to turn into an angsty character/dynamic study- but honestly who cares. why not have fun with it. why not get into some of the vast unexplored potential here. maybe one day i will.

[angelbvn]

YOURE FUCKING JOKING??? YOU RUIN MY LIFE AND IM THE ONE APOLOGIZING????

[chaosomniac]

Friendly Shadow's scars

Autodale fandom, did you know the Friendly Shadow has barbwire marks on both arms? pictured here:

they're not just textures, they pinch his metal inwards, likely originally smooth since he's meant to have Handyman arms

it's never explained... maybe Hive used to hold him with barbwire, because it's metal and Handyman arms are strong? barbwire seems like a recurring motif in Dead Sound's art

[defectivegembrain]

Troy Barnes with a high school girlfriend who was also in the popular crowd and everyone thinks they're sleeping together but they just talk and cuddle and she doesn't necessarily understand exactly what's going on but she feels safe with him and would never tell anyone how sensitive he really is and it's the closest thing he has to someone really knowing him until Abed but he still won't cry in front of her he never cries since he was a kid and Nana Barnes told him boys don't cry

[insufferable-homestuck]

the concerningly skinny boy from your apartment complex thats always with his brother on the roof

[crimeronan]

my mom called to say happy birthday and talk about my impending trip home to visit and then was like "so..... about your dad....." and then informed me that she and my sister have been discussing the logistics of how to have the most painless interaction with him possible. she was like "if there was a 100% chance he'd never find out, we both think you shouldn't see him at all. but...." and i was like yeah, no, i can't feasibly keep this trip secret. especially if i'm seeing his relatives.

and Then she explained that my siblings have worked out the Exact Logistics of how i can see him One (1) Time, with a set time limit, and then escape and not worry about him at all.

and then she was like well. obviously they're both coming with you too. they love to gossip about your dad's weird shit it'll be an adventure for the three of you!!

i..... didn't even tell any of them i've been stressed about seeing him. (although i DID tell them i didn't want to.)

she ended all of this with a laugh like "god, it really Shouldn't be this difficult," which is True, this is an insane game to have to play, but also. get you a family that cheerfully schemes like this. i'm feeling less stressed about my dad than i have in Weeks.

[marblebagcollective]

baby ctommy and an exile c!allium

[seven-meds]

All those times

[traumatizedjaguar]

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

🦀🦀

Make me write!! 10 sentences for you!!

“You can hold her hand,” Arabella says from her spot at Satine’s bedside, Satine’s newly casted arm held gently in Arabella’s own hand. “You aren’t going to hurt her.” Nini glances down at Satine’s other hand lying atop the covers, bruised knuckles and chipped pale pink polish and IV disappearing into the back of her hand, and all Nini can think is yes, I will. She takes a step away from the bed, arms crossed. “She’s freaking me out,” Nini covers. “I’m not used to seeing her so still.” She can’t stand to look at Satine’s bruised and battered face, at the monitors and wires attached to her, tries to focus on other things instead, like the steady rise and fall of Satine's chest, or the foot she’s managed to kick free from underneath the blankets. Satine’s sock is all twisted and Nini wants to fix it for her, balls her hands into fists instead.

[altschmerzes]

At the grocery store just thinking about baby Jamie at the holidays just like ough that poor kid oughhhh I’m love him 🥹🥹🥹 just came in here to tell u ur fic means so much to me

THANK YOUUUU i'm so glad you enjoy it!!! it's very near and dear to me and i'm excited to have finished finals so i can get trucking with it again :') in the meantime, have some Wriggle Up On Dry Land AU Holiday Thoughts i sent to a friend (@sighonaraa thank you for indulging meeeeeee) a bit ago. i posted a clip a bit back from one of the scenes involved in this!!