#Actually my 3DS is pretty much busted too

[melonthesprigatito]

When I heard that the 3DS E-Shop was closing down for good, the first thing I did, the day before it shut down, I went to redownload Pokémon Rumble World from the e-Shop one last time, before I lost it forever.

I played the absolute crap out of this game back when I first got my 3DS. (Screenshots from 2015, recovered from Miiverse archives)

I also gleefully exploited an out of bounds glitch I discovered from a YouTube tutorial

I had this one online friend I played with who I met from co-writing/ RPing a Pokémon Mystery Dungeon fanfic on the PMD: Gates to Infinity Community on Miiverse (my character in that RP was a Leafeon, hence Leafeon showing up in so many of the screenshots)

Unfortunately I lost contact with this friend once Miiverse shut down and I never heard from them since. I eventually stopped playing Pokémon Rumble World and deleted it from my 3DS. I just didn't have enough space on my SD Card so I deleted it to make room for other games. I kept the save data backed up because I caught nearly every Pokémon and sunk a few £ into microtransactions and I didn't want to lose all that progress.

Back to the day before the E-Shop closed, I downloaded Pokémon Rumble World and played it for the first time in what turned out was half a decade. How did I know this?

One of the first things I saw when I opened the game was a notification that someone had visited my town.

Last visited: 5 years ago.

I admit I shedded a tear. I doubt anyone is going to be visiting my town via Spotpass ever again so it was nice to see that my old friend was the last one.

[three-dee-ess]

hiiii 3DS tour!!!!

from the day i first got it, i knew to name it Happiness..... nothing deep about it i just wanted to say "my mom took my Happiness away for exam week :("

a bit of a reveal but i'm the anxious sticker placer anon haha it's still plain to this day if not for a few scratches (a lot actually but it's not that noticeable, right? qwq)

the barcode and numbers are super faded i can't read them!! plus the scratches are much more noticeable, im not sure where most of them came from but i remember one of them is when i accidentally dropped a screwdriver on it oops

the cartridge is pokemon black 2!! i've had this game before Happiness. yup i have a metallic rose DS lite that's sooo busted up, (well i had a coral pink DS lite before that but i got mugged when i was like 7 years old and it's gone which is a story for another time)

anyway, metallic rose had dead pixels that spread like some fungus, L button didnt work at all, buttons feel gross to press now, etc yknow normal 7 year old not knowing the value of things thing

i'd send a picture but it's back at my old house, pray that the spiders know how to play dig dig dug

:D i'm very normal about cyrus pokemon i swear

if you check my theme plaza account you can see i also made one (1) batch of badges which is hunter x hunter badges as you can see from the folders, i'm also very normal about hunter x hunter i swear

i wanted to lay everything out without folders and arrange everything pretty but it's so hard how do all of you do it qwq

gon folder (top left folder) are my 3DS gaammeess, i haven't played some of them bc i still got a lot of games to finish but they're there!!

frens (i didnt make the badges other than the hunter x hunter ones btw!)

killua folder (top right folder) contains DS... well used to, now it holds other games! i also haven't played most of them im so busy qwq

i deleted the shortcuts for the DS games i finished, also it took me way too long how to inject GBA and other games into 3DS

kurapika folder (bottom left folder) contains videos and movies! i figured out how to convert them but it's so hard to find download links to the movies i like now :(

also did you know the first 3 volumes of hunter x hunter are on the japanese eshop? i can't read japanese but i keep them because i like the novelty of it

leorio folder (bottom right folder) is my homebrew and miscellaneous stuffs! self-explanatory -w-

if you have any homebrew stuffs you wanna recommend, tell meee

eek, asks only allows 10 pictures apparently so i'm gonna send another one because we're not done yet!!!!

Happiness is so awesome the crows wants an encore so i shall deliver ohoo

activity log :D i love that the 3DS has this so we can all look back on memories and such

and that's the day when i first got Happiness!!!! i was pretty late to the 3DS party but i stiiiillll love it if you couldn't tell i really love pokemon and that's why i wanted a 3DS so bad lol i don't think i will ever be as excited as i was holding Happiness in my hands for the first time qwq

yknow, i still don't know how this happened

and that's all from meee if you have any questions or wanna tell me something, go to my ask box because i don't wanna clog up three-dee-ess's notifs!! thank you for having me

----

galaxy style n3DSXL

thank you so much for the tour >:3c I loved reading through all of it! In depth tours like this are super interesting to me so thank you for sharing!! it makes me really happy.

I'll need to find my red 3DS again so I can share my own stats, since my grey one I use to mostly play puzzle game titles like picross, not any like, RPGs.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

okay lots of post-minotaur thoughts. i really should’ve liveblogged but Whatever, these are very disorganized because i’m hopping in-between different parts of the movie as well as the 3d celebration zatsu

i think a lot of folks have picked this up: this is the vtuber bo burnham inside

the entire time i watched this i was like “man how come i can’t have an expansive mind palace to roam within”

bc uhhh. idk if this is the same for you or anyone else out there. but when i think about myself doing something it’s in first person, never actually my imagination conjuring up a Unit 4402 doing the something

and that sidetracked me so hard during how to get away with murder bc MAN i wish whenever i had mental breakdowns over my character i could imagine myself as a quirked up unit 4402 with a little bit of swag busting it down sexual style while i have 4 clones of myself goated with the sauce

i’ve never seen the joker but i’m pretty sure the how to get away with murder dance is vtuber joker dance

it is so awkward watching the post 3d zatsu rn and seeing people in chat miss the point

especially bc i think the thing that most got to me and affected me was the classroom scene. such a relatable foundation, especially for people like us, the nightmare of Being Wrong in front of everyone else and an authority who are in the loop and you’re the only one out

like. that’s actually insidious. incredibly effective way to deliver the ugly parts of the job: who doesn’t want to know everything about what they love even if parasocial. i’m sure we can all recognize the boundaries of how to interact with streamers and i do hope if you’re on my blog it’s with respect to the streamers, but the intrusiveness, lack of privacy, goddamn. the conditioning of vox sitting at the desk as soon as he can

i really do think the horse is the most british thing i’ve ever seen

i… am trying very hard not to be pretentious about the horse, and i am trying very hard not to be praising a vtuber because the initial reaction is to praise them innately, but i really do think that is peak surrealism and i could make a full post on this scene alone. like, on a metatextual level. times new roman 12pt double spaced d-o-n-t t-e-s-t m-e

ok update i’ve been informed about the peter the horse is here meme. i stand by my words

i’m going to be real i’m replaying the first scene a lot just because i… really cannot understand this without subtitles

i know we’re all laughing along with every cowboy luca line but we need to recognize the understated champion: shu “naw”

WAIT IM SKIPPING THROUGH SOME SCENES TO CATCH THINGS IVE MISSED. THE FUCK YOU MEAN THE TAKEOUT BOX IN HIS FRIDGE IS CHICKEN DICKNOCKERS

also oooooh. i get it now. “sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i didn’t care all that much” is a driving line for the film. everything that unfolds is a consequence OF caring too much and just enough. the fact that the bed’s been made and he has to lie in it. by the end this line doesn’t matter because he’s learned to accept his nature. and if you wanted to get paradoxical he’s learned to not care about that line

i wish i understood the words in lyrics the first time i hear them. someone give me a transcript, i’ll be unstoppable then

the second i saw the text for Inside A Demon’s Soul (Whenever Vox Akuma Devours A Human Soul, This Is Where They Go) i paused. sat there. and laughed so hard because that is maybe the easiest meme format i’ve ever seen in the the same way as everything everywhere all at once rock scene. put a white shape over the text, write down the time stamp. now you have a banger man standing that follows the standard top text bottom text base formula

when he stood up in the forest at the beginning of the labyrinth i really did see a minecraft Vox_Akuma joined the game banner in my mind’s eye

vox please drop the ost as soon as possible i need he who waits eternity and how to get away with motherfucking murder in my playlists asap

also how to get away with murder reminds me a little introvert by little simz. hard to describe, i think it’s because they both sound so spacious and be these long, introspective songs that never really Feel like they’re dragging on because of all the beat changes and stuff, you know? vox’s rap isn’t helping

i cannot end this post without talking about

THE INDOMITABLE FULGUR OVID BABYYYYYY

the way i furrowed my brow the SECOND i saw that hand

the way i yelled the second i saw his face

hehe. despite everything i am dearly a comfydant. i can’t think of anyone better than fuuchan for the beach scene, i’m so grateful he’s here

i mentioned “sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i didn’t care care all that much.” i now raise you “of course it matters, it matters to you… brother the only thing that would make you a bad person is letting that stop you from doing any good things”

and of course the hug

idk what to say about the hug. it’s very needed. and from fuu of all people who understands integrating lore and streaming, understands the divide, pretended to beef with vox only to become one of his close friends, i really can’t imagine it with anyone else

do you guys think box tenshi is Apathy. i think i’ll need to sit on it for a bit but i’m seeing some threads about how tenshi is what happens when that takes over and vox chooses not to care about the people he’s hurt for his own comfort. after all his character is entirely on balancing the little delights and missteps of humanity, and the nature of a predator demon. i’m sure i could elaborate later on

should i, like, be critical…? because i do have things that i’m critical about, but this was a very delightful watch and it’s changed me fundamentally

i like vtubers because of the balance between fantasy and real and this movie very much does cater from that. all media requires the suspension of disbelief but with the way minotaur is delivered it kind of toys with Suspension of Disbelief as in-verse environment, too. fandom, anti, and collective opinion are their own characters in this movie and that just cannot be captured in a medium like fictional, scripted entertainment, you know… it’s very bo burnham inside. but the difference is that inside is everyday people would assume these expectations. as vtuber watchers we’ve full-on experienced the good and bad ourselves. i mean… how many times have you said your opinion on vox online. seems someone act weird in chat. i write fanfiction, i contribute to expectation too because i participate in fandom. that’s just the natural effect of being an internet personality, so the least we can do is be respectful of it and be critical of ourselves so we can maintain that respect to each other and the streamer

but i guess that’s preachy of me vox illustrated the point on his own wonderfully

i could do cornell notes on this movie

[ask-daves]

hey! for davesprite:

you mentioned photography! how’s that coming along? well, i hope. and also, do you take photos on your 3ds? i personally think it’s pretty fun!

( directed to mod: your stuff seems awesome so far! maybe expect a little art your way? either way, you’ll see me around. )

- ⚠️ anon (for recognisability purposes.)

the camera clicks on. “i’m not sure why dave wants us to do videos for pretty much all of these, but, i mean. here i am. so, you know.” he seems a little more relaxed now that the aforementioned dave isn't in the room with him, but the difference is so marginal that it doesn’t matter.

he pauses, and moves to grab something off screen. “photography’s going… alright?” then he sets multiple things on the table, lifting up a small, black point-and-shoot film camera. "it's kinda been too hot for me to want to go outside and take pictures, even if i want to." he looks out toward his window a little wistfully, and then he's back on task. "so i figured i'd just show you all of the cameras that i have. tools of the trade or whatever."

“i just got this film camera—i have a lot of cameras, but, this was two dollars. so i’d be retarded if i didn’t, you know. grab it. it's a minolta freedom-tele. it's got a 38 and--" he turns it over to look at the lens, squinting a bit behind his shades. "an 80 mm lens. and then i have, uh.." he sets down the first camera, and then picks up the second, a solid, digital point and shoot one, one that isn't exactly massive, but it still is rather hefty for what it is. "and then this is my nikon coolpix p100. it's pretty nice, uh. i like.. shooting wildlife with it. because it can zoom pretty far in, you know." he turns it on, takes off the lens cap, and demonstrates. he turns it off and the lens naturally retracts. "i kind of prefer point and shoots, considering you really don't have to bust your balls for lenses, or whatever." a shrug.

"and then the last of the point and shoots that i still have. i actually sold one recently, just because i didn't like it, so yeah, last one, a fujifilm finepix a205." he shows the camera the small, compact silver camera. "i'm not the biggest fan of fujifilm, if i'm honest. this one's pretty sick though. easy to bring around with me whenever i go out or whatever. even though i prefer the coolpix, it just, it's so bulky that i feel lame as shit bringing it around."

a shrug, and he's tapping his fingers on the desk. "they're pretty cool. one of these days i might post a few photos i take. maybe. i wouldn't count on it though."

"that's it. thanks for the asks. see ya."

[lemontartca]

Progress on my River Styxx custom (tentatively named Anais). They had more damage than I thought (to the point where I'm worried I created some of it removing their hair) and stained discoloration pretty much everywhere their hair was touching them. I tried to cover it up with pastels but I think in some places that accentuated it. It's not noticeable head-on, at least.

The first layer was to sketch and do the pastels while the second layer was filling in the brows and lips and painting on the eyes. This was my first time working with paint (I mean... it's my second doll ever and the first is only half finished, but I used to draw with colored pencils a lot so I had familiarity there) and the first thing I put down was the white eyeliner. The moment I did, I went "oh no." It was so messy and wide. It took me awhile to salvage it but I did eventually figure out how to make it passable. I then tried to do the rest of their eyes in pencil before I realized that it just wasn't possible. Some combination of River's skin-tone, the kind of shimmery/translucent plastic her head is made from, and how pale and pastel the colors I wanted to use are made it basically invisible on her (the entire eye is drawn out and even filled in on the first image! You wouldn't know it) so I had to pick up the paints again. I must have gone over each area a dozen times, but I did finally figure it out and I'm happy with how it looks. It doesn't match my plan, but I'd rather it looks good than "accurate."

Layer three darkened up and finished the brows and lips and then added dimension to the eyes. I'm a little on the fence between liking the eyes on the second or third layer more because my perfectionist brain says the irises in the second image are better because they're smoother and blended... but irises don't actually look like that, they have more dimension like I added in the third layer. The image quality is bad for the third one, I know, but I wanted to get the plan sketch in the background too. I still want to give her 3D lashes, but I want them to be white, so I'll have to find some (that aren't expensive since they're "specialty") first and then add some gloss varnish to her eyes and lips before her faceup will be done. Once I've finished the rest of her, I'll take nicer pictures.

In regards to her hair... I considered saving it because I liked the color, but it was matted, dirty, and I hated the bangs. I tried to look up precedent for wigging on top of rooted hair remnants, and I couldn't find anyone doing that specifically, but I did find someone wigging a Gooliope without even removing her hair first, just braiding and tucking it away so the wig can be taken on and off like a normal human one would be. Of course that's on a larger scale than a regular-sized Monster High, but it did make me think I could probably get away with leaving the roots, especially with the hairstyle I'm planning since it does still incorporate bangs that can hide some hairline sins. We'll see how it goes, but if I can avoid removing heads and scraping roots in the future, then I definitely will whenever it won't be obvious. It's a good experiment and I was just really worried around busting her head open trying to get her roots out since she's showing signs of degradation.

[legitimatesatanspawn]

Because I forgot to post it:

Nintendo Direct hypes:

Paper Mario TTYD Remake and Super Mario RPG Remake - interested but not super interested. They're good games. But I'm more interested in other things right now, but the fact that they're coming out means a lot of people will get to play them which is great.

Detective Pikachu Returns - I forget right now if it's a sequel or a port but either way I enjoyed OG's 3DS demo so I'm invested.

F-Zero 99 - Not something I'll play because I'm stingy about subscriptions but the idea is terrifying and cool. 99 racers on one track. Time to Redline it up, baby.

Another Code - I'm gonna admit I've only tried Trace Memory via a laggy emulated rom because it wasn't something I ever saw in stores around here. I'm very very interested in it so I'm excited. Its not just the first game remade but also the sequel too.

Unicorn Overlord - Bizarre name, pretty artwork, fantastic looking RPG. I'm down for it. Kind of has a Fire Emblem / Ogre feel.

Luigi's Mansion 2 - I've not actually played the series since faintly remembered OG because I was a coward and thought it was a scary game. I want to bust these ghosts.

Princess Peach 2 - Hell yeah. Thankfully the power isn't ELEMENTAL EMOTIONS again because you would not believe the amount of "Super PMS Peach" jokes I herd around when that came out but damn her powerup outfits look nice.

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes - I've been interested in this for a while. I got the tech demo prequel on PC and let me say, it's a solid game. Plot's a little dumb but I had fun.

Playstation State of Play hypes:

Ghostrunner 2, although I'm more interested in it on PC.

Spider-Man 2 - Got to try the first game thanks to a friend and while I'm still debating on getting it and Miles on PC, I'm still low key terrified of picking up another open world game anytime soon.

FF7R Part 2 - I'm still waiting for FF7R: Complete Edition a-la StarCraft 2 but damn it looks good. (Also who's bright idea was it to put what looks like Costa Del Sol Cloud on a segwey? I'm still laughing at that.)

Roblox for PS5... ... okay I'm gonna admit, I laughed seeing that fact.

Lies of P - still a bizarrely cool concept but not sure if I'm overly invested in it.

Xbox... while my family never bought into the console wars, let's face it: what's on Xbox can easily be on other things so I don't really pay much attention to it.

PC:

Sonic Superstars - big maybe, but with how Frontiers is actually pretty good I might give it a shot too.

Like a Dragon - Well... so far I have 0 and 4 on PC. I don't need either Dragon right now because each one will be a significant investment.

Dungeons 4 - ... the series is still being made? Cool!

Long Gone Days - It's got a (hopefully 100% confirmed) release date! After the occasional updates to the build. Nice.

World of Horror - I thought this was dead!

[kattestrophe]

I demand to see the Katte board on your shelf :D

Sure :'D

It ain't much, but it's mine. Just moved them from the board, actually, that one was facing a window and I don't want these to get damaged by the light.

From left to right there is:

An entirely unrelated glass dome from IKEA with an old silver cup I got from my grandma and two Friech related coins, one D-Mark, one Euro (the dome is the most expensive part of this setup)

Burte's terrible, hilarious Katte play (funny music)

"King in Prussia", the one where nobody understands his connection to the Crown Prince 🥺

"Das Richtschwert traf den falschen Hals", aka "I love you so much, my Prince. Jk."

Zeithain. Oh Zeithain.

Actual acclaimed German author Theodor Fontane's "Wanderungen durch die Mark Brandenburg - Havelland", featuring his fictional one shot about baby Katte spending quality time with his dad. I want to get a copy of Oderland eventually (for the Küstrin chapter), preferably also this pretty edition (which only cost me a euro more than the ugly modern one)

Ahnert's "Friedrich und Katte", the one where Katte has A Terrible Beard

A short amateur biography about Katte's father that I got in Wust. Hans Heinrich is quite the personality and I'd love to find out more about him too.

A collection of letters by European monarchs concerning the trial of 1730

A brochure I got in Wust that includes info about the church and the Kattes ("Hans Hermann's first ever letter was to his Engelsschwesterken", I NEED THAT SOURCE, also look at that k, we can see how he pronounced stuff!! 🥺) as well as some letters

Hinrichs' "Kronprinzenprozess", primary sources printed in a particularly exhausting to read Fraktur

Kloosterhuis' "Katte. Ordre und Kriegsartikel", second edition with added list of Ingersleben's 50 teacups

"Schädel-Schicksale" which includes some details about Katte's (?) remains in Wust

"Kriegsgericht in Köpenick", another one of Kloosterhuis', wonderful exhibition catalogue that left me with many new questions (he built a cabinet???)

And a collection of the letters between FWI and Müller the priest that I also got from the nice people in Wust.

Oh. And a bust of Frederick William III. My friend 3d printed it as a surprise for my birthday; Friech wasn't available as a 3d model :'D

I bought all of these except Ordre und Kriegsartikel and the brochures used for a few bucks ^^ Richtschwert cost me a whopping 35 cents with two euros shipping :'D

There are a few more things that I'd like to add. Like "Sorrows of Frederick" (fridged wife Katte, my beloved), but the only copies I can find are in the US and only available if I pay by credit card - which I don't have :(

[cozymochi]

(Scared to be off anon but I understand that you don’t want drama in your askbox so it all good)

ANYWAYS- do you have any mini tutorials on how you draw Irkens or the Tallest? Cause holy sh*t the way you draw in the canon style makes me go 👁👁

Love your art!!💕

AAAAAA THANKSSS, And sorry this took. I dunno. Weeks to respond to, but after frequent trial and error I could not for the life of me come up with any “tutorial.” 😔 I’m kind of a failure like that. I’m not even much of a “teacher”

You can take what I have though, even if it’s pretty sloppy and unfinished 😭 And I can try explaining stuff, but this premise is really broad 😔😔 I wouldn’t know where to begin. Any canvas with a pink background is the “new” stuffI tried drawing specifically for this ask, while a white canvas is old.

Sorry that u had to go off-anon though, and sorry if this is a bit of a hot mess that isn’t very concise or helpful and primarily just… nonsense. I’m sure better “explanations” exist. Again, I’m not a teacher nor a tutorial person, really

I drew up this random image at one point in the hopes that It’d be something?? But, tbh. It probably doesn’t help. So I have no idea if this breakdown even makes a lick of sense. I just know they consist of mostly basic shapes. I meant to go in more “detail” but my brain got destroyed.

Every part of Zim’s body is a triangle in some way. Like, if u look at that image maybe u can see what i mean but 😭😭 idk.

It’s mostly just, I suppose, a matter of remembering that despite the fact these are 2D characters that are extremely stylized, they do have some kind of 3D form involved at all times. I personally keep Zim as my “rule of thumb” basis or something when drawing Irkens. Everybody is just a fucked up version of Zim. The Tallest’s heads are just Zims, but longer. Or, Skoodge [not pictured] is just Zim’s head but wider (and he is ALL head pretty much).

There was one time someone asked me advice on how I draw the Tallest, and to this day I never finished it, and with how busted my mindset became towards my own work, i probably never will.

Sorry I don’t really get into the body much, but I tried to recently (as you’ll see) and didn’t get far.

But, kinda like the Zim thing, the Tallest are also basic shapes. They’re a bit weird on having triangles and circles though. Though, I suppose it would be more accurate to call them spheres, cones, and some cylinders.

Random aside: I think folk get stuck on the joints of their arms in relation to their shoulder pads a lot… I try to keep in mind that their arm joint is always locked in a single place, yknow, like actual shoulders. The pad just moves with the arm.

Sorry the drawing is so sloppy this is where my mind fell apart.

Uhhh the Tallest are kinda weird with their long necks and craning. I kinda see where the neck connects with the body as some kind of “pivot” point. That is, if I were to be a lot stricter with that dinosaur neck. There’s a reason that neck tends to be shortened or ignored altogether.

Zim’s eyes are a bit more self-explanatory being ellipticals (not so much circles tbh, but eh). While the Tallest have parallelograms (not rectangles, their eyes don’t have any right angles- i keep that in mind too) They’re also weird since their one of the few characters whose eyes don’t stick out of their head when turned to the side. But, they do curve with their head— but not when facing forward.

Tho sometimes they do wacky shit like this so they tend to break their own “rules” anyway. I dunno. There’s really no set right/wrong means, I just keep a lot of that minor stuff in mind. I think it all would just depend on what you’d want to do

Irken mouths are weird, a lot of the “rules” that used to exist like more strict geometric stuff doesn’t exist anymore due to art evolution. But, again, I really think it just… depends…?

Have no teeth, stretch the face, put the teeth at the bottom/top, don’t leave the face, break open the face, etc etc depends on what u want.

Anything I do at this point just came from watching too many clips or sometimes digging around the comics.

i used up the image limit but there’s no other drawings anyway 😭

the end?

This isn’t all that helpful or satisfying I’m really sorry, I really don’t know how to explain this at all at the moment. Sometimes I do, but maybe I don’t. I also didn’t wanna leave this in my inbox any longer.

Maybe just study reference sheets, or if u can get ur hands on any notes from the art book- reading those might be useful. Sure, they’re outdated, but i dunno they sometimes have useful notes involved

thanks tho for asking anyway, normally i do like answering this sort of thing but I really did just fall apart at some point and messed it all up

[moe-broey]

@clover-fieldss I can delete this if it's embarrassing lmfao BUT I WANTED TO SAY. You are absolutely so fucking right about this, put it into words well too!!!

Like w Genshin the most you get is different heights and bust sizes for the women lmfao, so far Itto is the only guy who's muscular (and even then, you look at Itto's art and model and then you look at FEH art for like Mustafa and there's. A difference there!). And there is the aspect of Genshin characters being 3D models, but I almost feel like that should make having more variety easier going forward if you just establish a new body type? Bc you can tell characters tend to have the same model, with just a few adjustments maybe to height or face (like I think it's really noticeable when you look at Ayato and Zhongli side by side, and Kazuha and Aether).

And also!!! Given that we are getting a new body type actually, come Sumeru, that sort of shows like yes it ofc it would take some work behind the scenes but it can be done! Kusanali and Dori having the new body type, which is shorter and smaller than the short girls (like Yanfei) but taller than the babies (Qiqi and such). So it is doable! (Hell, also. Thinking more. There are NCPs who are fat, both men and women! So like why not work off their models to create some playable characters and go from there!)

Unfortunately, I think it just has everything to do w like. What's profitable, and some really shitty attitudes about fat people that are noticeable in Genshin (a lot of girls have lines about being careful about how much they eat and like. I hate it lmfao girl I'm begging you to enjoy yourself and live comfortably). BUT ALSO LIKE. And I'll say this about how I Really Wish They'd Make More Black/Brown Characters Too. If you're a company w an extremely popular and profitable gacha, with like one million fucking characters, girl you can afford to throw in some variety. ESPPP w how Genshin's banners work, how there's always the five star who's the main focus and then three four stars alongside them. Like if you're REALLY worried about profits, put a character you're worried about not doing so well for whatever reason next to the shiny five star and bam. People will pull for the five star anyway. The worst you'll get I think is like, some weirdos being extremely weird about it in shitty corners of the internet.

BUT. Yeah. I just have v strong feelings about this sort of thing w Genshin in particular, maybe cause I feel like there's a lot of untapped potential. And also bc I do really love how the characters are designed as well. I esp love the variety in the men, where I feel like other gachas/franchises in general just aren't doing it the way Genshin is? Like w FE you def have gnc men, but they tend to fall into specific tropes (like the pretty blondes that are often mistaken for women, Libra, Lucius, Forrest, and the purple pretty guy who's mlm like Yuri and Leon). There are certainly others who fall outside of the tropes, like Soren, and some special outfits for characters that don't conform to masculinity (bunnyfonse and Valentine's Alfonse my beloved), but like. I can't really name a FE character who's gnc in the way Aether and Venti are, for example. And something else that I love about Genshin is you can have two guys who are gnc but each has their own way of portraying it that feels in line for them, that feels like it reflects on their personality (Aether and Venti again!!!).

I guess the TLDR here is it sucks to suck and we could've had it all LMFAOOO (AND in my heart Charlotte is buff as hell to the point where I forget she doesn't have visible muscles in canon. We could have had it all........... 😔😔😔😔)

[sugar-petals]

:: Two Girls Dominating SuperM

↳ NOTE: Since sharin’ is carin’ 😋 Happy holidays! Get the list Santa cuz here go seven kinds of naughty. PS: I use different POVs here, whatever fits best.

words. 3.3k

warnings ⚠️ bondage, pegging, flexibility kink, sex toys, some switch!kai, rough sex, harnesses, oral (m giving), possessiveness, taemin’s evil lady kink, ice cream

⎡Taeyong⎦⇁ I think it’s time to reveal an unspoken truth about the pop industry. You ready? When Rihanna did S&M, a vision of Taeyong from the future whispered the lyrics in her ear. I swear to god. That’s exactly how it happened. Just the way we’d expect, dear Taeyong is gonna float in paradise. Not one domme ready to shake him up, but two? He can retire. Boy doesn’t need anything else. Except maybe a bit of cash to buy harnesses he can model but they’ll treat him to that anyway. That being said. Knowing that two fly madams in latex are ravaging his body at every chance they can get is gonna make him know he can die happy one day. Like, he truly lived. He won’t really hold back with restructuring a lot of parts of his life to let this dynamic unfold all the way. We’ve heard of his DIY skills. This sounds funny but Taeyong will design, paint, decorate, and maintain a special area for their play. Not necessarily just one room, he varies that. We know how gifted he is with interiors and domestic ideas, so. Prepare to get blown away by his sheer efforts. And man, the amount of spare time he can stretch to get a quickie out of that time window. Incredible. Even more interesting is gonna be the range. Taeyong can handle girls that dress up super differently every time, he goes along with any roleplay or character they come up with. He’s gonna be their little prince, their hotel boy, their waiter, their flight attendant, their Jack Dawson incarnate. And their dream boy altogether, cuz that’s what Taeyong is.

His frustrations are bound to work up over weeks if he is busy at SM, so finally seeing them again will have him so excited. And nervous. And so involved with preparing things for them, the perfectionist comes out. Can you imagine Taeyong donning his apron and preparing a four course menu for an entire afternoon? You bet he’ll pull that off. Butler Taeyong will be at full throttle. He’s gonna end up getting viciously fucked in the kitchen anyways. Like to the point where all his hair is a mess in his face and everyone ran out of breath. And seriously, he’s the type to completely surrender and place all trust in the girls. Which they know, and they’ll reward him so well. With things Taeyong loves best aka getting whipped and plowed. One of you could be binding him to a fucking machine and controlling the remote, the other marking his legs and upper back. The little bun gets terribly turned on if you push him on all fours for that and hold the nape of his neck in place so he can’t go anywhere. Consider your carpet ruined with semen. While Taeyong is busy recharging for the next round lying on the floor exhausted, you take polaroids.

⎡Baekhyun⎦⇁ Okay listen, I’ll tell you the secret. You can pull a complete duality on him. Baekhyun, getting nuzzled and snuggled and squeezed from all sides because he’s so sweet? Absolutely his jam. He got two hands to hold, after all. And two mochi cheeks to kiss, my friend, two of them. But also, getting a full dose of freaky stuff inflicted on him with some good music playing? This loud little fucker is going to levitate. These two raging girls can take complete control of his body and fool around to their liking. Grabbing his butt, feeding him cake, dressing him up or stripping him down, riding his face to oblivion. Like not just circling your hips. Actual sharp thrusting and making him forget the light of day. And using some cute pink ropes to string his pretty wrists from the ceiling as a treat. Only a matter of time until he’s an arching mess. As you already suspected: A giant dose of ass destruction is only one step away. Any toy suffices. At best, when he’s trying to beat a new high score and has to concentrate on the game. Nice challenge for his focus, he likes that. He wants to feel how he’s getting stretched out from all directions until it hurts so good. Screaming „Ah!“ is his favorite word. Maybe not too straps in one hole, that’s Taeyong territory, and Baekhyun’s ass is really tight generally, but spitroasting? His favorite pastime. Stuffed up and getting a load of extra hard thrusts. He can suck and gyrate all the way, all at the same time like he never did anything else. It’s gotta be hard and fast. I’m telling you, he’ll make it sloppy anyway.

Did he ever think he could get fucked up like this by a sexy tag team? Nope, he squarely thought he was undeserving. Now that he’s getting regularly suffocated and earns the praise for being so cute, Baekhyun is actually starting to believe he can ask for and enjoy that glorious wreckage. Because if there’s one thing he wishes for, it’s drowning in his own spit. These two are gonna be so territorial and wild, his dick and tongue are gonna threaten to fall off every night. How many condoms Baekhyun’s gonna fill, those will be record numbers, it’s like the album charts. Baekhyun’s a straight-up cum bank dairy cow extraordinaire when it comes to milking him dry. Like what did you think if two mommies feed him with all sorts of delicacies, all that juice is going to stock up and get ready to blow. And the amounts and types of collars Baekhyun’s neck is gonna be in: Whole lot, even with leashes attached. Oh god, they’ll strap him stupid with some dog ears on as a reward. Baekhyun’s prostate is gonna be a constantly spongy ruined mess, poor mochi gonna end up waddling around the kitchen to chug a liter of water at 3 AM.

⎡Taemin⎦⇁ You know who’s gonna be in his element. You just know it. Taemin is ride or die when it comes to wanting someone to be the boss of him. He’s not just dabbling in all that jazz to experiment, he’s livin’ and breathing it. Taemin’s imagination is the 3D version of AO3’s finest fanfics. Hell, he even imagines the sounds over and over, it’s gotta be 4D! He’s already crafted the most intricate fantasies for some seriously action movie-like roleplay. But let's start from the beginning. What’s on Taemin’s ever-wicked mind when he goes to sleep at night? Two intimidating ladies ganging up on him. Arriving on their black motorcycle at his house, flirting the living hell out of him, raiding his fridge, grinding on his lap in their biker gear, licking his face, taking his luxurious clothes off, calling him names, making him dance for him (that one’s a staple), biting down on his torso wherever they please, and having their way with him until it’s all one big orgy. Hell, probably on that motorcycle in the garage. Taemin pretty much getting one dry orgasm after the other because it’s the time of his life. Like, they’re really spoiling him. And he’s giving himself to them. That kind of scenario going down? To Taemin, that sounds like his wettest of dreams come true. He’s like yes, yes, yes and yes. A dynamic duo of sadistic girlfriends, that’s gonna leave him so shook and utterly addicted. Like he wants to get backed into a corner, bring on all the kabedon, Taemin goes all the way the way we know him. Nobody loves that fantasy more than him.

Now… the trick is. They’re actually really fun and sweet and pet his hair incessantly. You know, casually, doing daily life things. Cooing at him and getting all the sweetest princely kisses from their angel. My god, they’ll be so gently in love with him. But in the bedroom, it’s raw business. Taemin is gonna take is so hard, he’ll be seeing stars. That he’s getting slapped around — the thighs included, he loves that — while getting a handjob has to be the most orgasmic experience ever. Taemin is gonna bust fifty-thousand nuts over having his hair pulled by one girl and being choked by the other. Boy is he gonna be hard even if the pants stay on. What if he’s not the one grinding around this time. Two scary girls riding his lap, cuffing and belittling him — wow. Taemin never wants that feast to end. Getting roughed up at any occasion makes his day. He is needy, but the girls have all the cruel shit could ever ask for, and he has the stamina to handle all of it. And the class, he never loses his mystery. A fucking marathon with some pretty brutal bondage and impact play involved, no problem, he’ll last it. You can torture the soul out of him, he’s gonna be winding and gasping for more. Except maybe that his voice is gonna be pretty hoarse if they don’t gag his mouth for the most part. Man, Taemin is so vocal. This will have the ladies all runny beyond imagination. Nobody who meets him casually is gonna suspect it, but Taemin has the wettest dick in all of Seoul (unless Lucas is doing an allnighter) and no pliable brain left because he’s got is fucked out hard daily and he gave it daily. Now you know.

⎡Jongin⎦⇁ Kai is gonna act smug about this right from the start. He’s gonna be the guy who’s proud to show you off, walking around arms over your either shoulders, him right in the middle. Like hello, I’m experienced. The entirety of SM Entertainment is gonna have rumors circulating but nobody’s gonna be surprised. Little does he know you’re down to make his naughty lyrics come true. Kai is gonna get pegged and punished holding onto his dear oversized teddy bear. Literally, these two will have him burying his entire face there. Whimpering and high-pitched moaning like it’s time for EXO adlibs. His couch is large enough for three people, so. Somebody is gonna end up horny and crying. With his album on repeat because there’s no better music to fuck to, don’t kid yourself, you likely don’t, anyway. It’s Kai we’re talking about. He has sluttiness for days. Getting your hands on all that tall dark and handsome goodness is just all that you need as a domme duo. Have you seen how this guy moves just breathing and walking and cocking his head on the occasion… I don’t wanna know how far he can go in the horizontal realm to put it carefully.

But you gotta be ready for Kai’s aggressive side that wants to make things happen. If you like a struggle for dominance, this is the address. You two are just too tempting and delicious not to move around on his bed to assume new positions. And if Jongin doesn’t feel like snapping his dangerous hips into either of you, he’s lying. Kai is ready to fucking dick you down like it’s your birthday. He has to be taught to request and wait like a good boy, on his best behavior and his knees preferably. Yep, I think that Kai is a case for some extended training because he’s so impatient, with good reason, but he still needs to be put in his place. Which Kai likes because it means you go harder on him without restraint. Was it his goal all along? I can see one of the girls taking the role of speaking to him with his head in her lap. Giving commands occasionally, checking in. And the other, getting freaky on him with her instruments. Kai’s body is so sensitive and reactive, it’s gonna be fun to see him twitch and beg. Even something as simple as clamping his nipples will already do the trick. That’s when you have Kai begging.

⎡Ten⎦⇁ Believe it or not. Out of all people, he’s gonna be the one with the most doubts and insecurities — at first. It feels a little overwhelming to Ten because he doesn’t know what’s coming. You know that kind of facial expression he does when he is uncertain. Mind you: Having a whole bunch of people around him isn’t new to him. Bitch, he’s in NCT! A threesome is peanuts against that neo energy. It’s more like, the coordination, he doesn’t know how to act. He’ll be shy and big-eyed and doesn’t know what to say. The king of comebacks and clapbacks: Speechless. Let that sink in. The girls are dealing with the kind of guy who needs a lot of clarity and talk beforehand because he doesn’t have experience with it. It takes him to really know what the program is and damn he’s right about that. Ten really getting into what he’s signing up for is big-brained of him. He asks a lot of questions with an open-mind, but also care. But then again, we know how Ten’s confidence can skyrocket, and that he’s so secretly curious about those things he’s bursting with anticipation. And he knows what to ask for to really get someone going. Touch me, tease me, feel me up, am I right or am I right? He adapts so well to almost any circumstance in his life, it’s admirable. Totally up to the challenge once it goes down, he really grows into that. And I promise that particularly the physical part is absolutely his forte, that’s where he blooms. Ten can be easily taught through the genius of his body and he’s gonna love that.

Once things get hands-on and he finds himself with two girls mounting him, and on go the cat ears, he’s like oh my god this is great. The surprise factor is the biggest in the group here. Ten is gonna almost facepalm because he’s been worrying himself where there was nothing to be anxious about. Because he’s in his groove! Smiling and laughing and having a good time. No stress, just feeling so damn good. Probably with several super-size vibrating toys employed on him because that’s how Ten rolls, always taking the challenge. What a twitchy mess he’s gonna be, I can’t. The two ladies are gonna have a blast themselves bending him around and getting the best of the best erections out of him. Ten is totally gonna snack something while they’re fooling around as three. Or they’re stuffing him with delicacies, he’s gonna be so eager. But that’s not even a glimpse of what they’re gonna do! Ten is ready for almost everything, my friends. Tag teamed while dressed up as Alice? Likelier than you think. With the wig, that’s right. Ten is gonna be their good girl for one long night and truly love it. He obeys so well, spreads his legs like its nothing. It’s all gonna be a hell of a mess on his outfit though. If there’s one person ready to have cum all over him, that’s the right address. He’s throwing peace signs and pose for their phone cameras. Oh Ten, the legend you are.

⎡Lucas⎦⇁ Wong Yukhei… the entire concept that is him literally screams for it. Two people handling all that fucking hunk. So much space to work with, that body is a drug. Xuxi is one staggering big boy, his forehead is making love to any door frame. Lot of waist to grab (…like why is it shaped like that. Offensive!) lot of wrist to tie. And those long fucking model legs, for god’s sake, you just gotta do something with those for once. Get those thigh harnesses! Plus he’s a literal baby who’s all down to date girls his senior. Yukhei is a sucker for mad girls acting possessive over him. And he’s a handful, one fucking tease, one chaotic man. Two times the payback is just so much more appropriate. He can just get fucked and fucked and fucked some more. As is two times as much stimulation. You can imagine. Yes, all over his body. Grabbing his necktie and guiding him around this that (good shit) and caressing his face, and his back, and his chest, and his stomach, it’s so sexy to touch him there.

But let’s not lie. A certain somebody has cock and balls for two people. Lucas is one hell of a stallion. Lot of girth to make hard and to edge. That needs a duo of two unhinged girls, forces of nature, someone shy won’t do. It’s their job to make him shy and docile, not the other way around. Because Lucas enjoys being teased and flattered right back, and is more than fine with being toyed with, even playfully beaten up. You know he loves to be on the receiving end of bickering. Doesn’t mean he suddenly forgets to be an active party or just leans back. He has giant hands and knows how to use them, he’s chartered some major clit territory as well, remember that. That’s gonna be three people losing their fucking minds. Imagine all those luscious, raspy groans. Lucas never holds back, no filter, he knows what the ladies like. Drenched in sweat is all you’ll gonna be. And probably a whole bunch of lube because that’s the other thing the entire concept of Lucas is screaming for. The more ye know.

⎡Mark⎦⇁ Alright my friends. Cute Mark vibes different but that’s no secret. Boy’s gonna admit he’s really intimidated and shy, but so happy he’s gonna get sandwiched once he agrees to try it. It’s all a matter of courage. The girls will be the ones approaching him because they bought him ice cream, and the conversation starts from there, but it’s up to Mark to really set the mood. Oh boy, he’s not gonna stop blushing. This nerd with a girl on each side, that sure as hell looks great on him, I assure you. And if Mark Lee is your trophy rapper poly boyfriend, you truly made it, so. This is gonna be a dynamic right here. And the most fun, imagine the mayhem. He’ll talk his mouth off like his life depends on it. Mark doing sexy talk with two girls at the same time would be so entertaining. They will own his ass. Like wow… they’re making out with him, alternate with french kisses and putting their hands all over him, and ruin his face with ice cream. Mark would be so sexy to pull close by his collar.

And you bet it’s gonna slowly escalate from there, he’s tapping into some sides of him he never knew were there. Ice cubes down his chest, tongues down his mouth, hands in his hair kind of afternoon. As a brief and hilarious interruption, a shivering, horny as hell Mark takes a phone call from Johnny. Who, as you learn, is completely unsuspecting. „Hey, I’m at IKEA, uh. The living room section, actually. Should I buy the blue pillow or the yellow one? I can’t decide. They both have the same print on them, so.“ Mark is gonna blurt out that blue is probably gonna be a good idea and ends the phone call before anybody can moan into the speaker. Johnny is left confused at the other end of the line. The girls will end up teasing Mark that he said blue because that’s what his balls are for sure. Freudian slips, always glorious. Mark is not gonna deny that and ultimately ends up with his face between two cleavages — talk about melons, are we gonna kid ourselves — and two hands down his jeans. This is gonna need a lot of towels. Mark has never gotten this fucked up in his whole life and he is grateful. Watch out people, he’ll write a whole mixtape about this.

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep10: Kaiba Embarrasses Himself on International Television Again

We start off this duel by teasing us into believing that this is a part of a theme park:

The Kaiba theme park is a weird mix of actual horrorscapes and animal crossing cutesy stuff...you can really tell what parts were Mokuba and what parts were Seto in this park.

But Leon takes it well, just kinda standing there as he’s done this entire arc--being a general forgettable nice boy who just...doesn’t do anything. Like he gets up, he plays cards, he sits down. Having him on top of a rock with melodramatic Little Mermaid waves crashing at his feet is laughably the opposite of Leon’s whole vibe.

Leon just seems like the type that listens to coffee shop ambient Youtube videos when he wants to amp himself up. This kid appears to attend a private school...somewhere...I think, and just went to a dueling competition in his school outfit because he literally doesn’t have a style of his own hanging in his closet.

Like Yugi wears his school outfit, but he does that ironically, to off-set the amount of makeup and hair spray he has in his hair. Leon wears the school outfit maybe because he admires Yugi so much, but is like “time for my rogue bow I wear in my hair. That’ll scare my competition.” He completely missed the point of the 00′s alt school outfit scene.

I do way too much art to not see the imagery. I feel like this is half my job, and playing “where’s the hidden Freudian meaning?” is half the fun of going to any art museum.

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, Seto got tired of no one paying any attention to him, so he stepped out of his 14-monitor mancave, he very quickly pulled his Dragon outfit out of the (dirty) laundry, flicked a couple sea crabs out of his pockets, spritzed it with Febreeze and called it “good enough.”

Like, is it just me, or has dragon jacket greyed out a tad from last season? Like it’s starting to get a little...worn? Like what funk is coming off of Seto Kaiba right now?

Also notice that he brought his giant stash of cards to the duel. He’s going to put on this show as if he’s not going to pull out the giant stash of cards. But like...he’s going to pull out the giant stash of cards. Like Hell boring ass Leon is going to play his deck of Candyland characters again.

Leon is declared a winner on Technicality and it’s like.

Damn Seto, for reals?

So congrats, Leon, you did literally nothing, again, and yet you mystifyingly  persist on this show. Clearly you aren‘t going to grow a second head out of that ponytail like professor Quirrel in the last act of this arc.

That’s when Yugi’s hazy memory recalls something from the Before Times of “that time period before I was possessed by a needy ghost that eats up 3/4 of my memories and time.”

So Schroeder is Atari. Neat.

Also, this makes Zigfrieds outfits a hell ton more endearing when you realize he’s this Willy Wonka game company owner making toys for children. Kinda makes you wonder why Seto’s such a stick up the ass in comparison when it’s like--dude Kaiba, maybe you could learn a thing or two about whimsy. It could really help out your inconsistent park.

Anyway, Kaiba quickly realized who hacked the park and so, understandably, he asked Zigried to leave, which...backfired?

Y’all card culture is a lot. Everyone in the audience covered their faces in shame because they were so embarrassed by Seto Kaiba and I’m like...not sure why? Because he didn’t do a duel? Against this guy who snuck into his tourney not unlike Rex and Weevil? This asshole?

Recall that the last time Seto played a guy who had a fake name it was Marik freakin Ishtar and he killed a LOT of people (actually, it was Alister, pretending to be Pegasus, but he also killed a lot of people so that still tracks). Card culture can’t seem to learn from their mistakes, although Seto clearly sees the problem with dueling a professional hacker in a digital card game on a hologram that may or may not be able to murder you. At least its not a magic.

And so, tired of being humiliated on television, Seto decides to bust out the dueling gloves (well, not those gloves. You know what I meant) and use the equipment he BROUGHT WITH HIM and clearly never intended not to use in the first place.

(I hope you enjoy this dutch angle that wasn’t quite dutch enough, so it just looks like they’re lounging)

Roland patiently walks over from...somewhere? I don’t know where Roland comes from whenever he pops up, but he waltzed over to hold onto this suitcase as if that’s a formal part of his job.

I say this so often but like...I don’t know what Roland’s job is. He’s like a valet/butler/duel referee/duel cheerleader/CEO/and I will spend the rest of this series trying to understand it. Part of me is like...could Roland be a temp worker at an agency who just gets rehired for a different Kaiba Corp job every couple of weeks?

That weird ass fourthKaiba, I will never understand Roland.

Just one letter away from being a Zigfriend, Kaiba. Just one letter away. I know this because I misspell friend a LOT.

Zigfreind? Zigfriend? Damn it, both of them look the freakin same to me, this sucks! Why can’t I spell friend without autocorrect!?

Just the amount these two fight when Seto clearly barely even remembers who this guy even is.

Leon shows up in the seats, pretending that he’s totally cool about winning on a technicality right after Zigfried went on a rant about how shameful, irredeemable, and mortally embarrassing winning on technicalities are.

He seems to take it pretty well, smiling, sitting next to Rebecca, and then dissolving right into the background because this kid’s whole deal is being way too nice to exist on this show.

Y’all we just had that art meme where people were redrawing that “How to draw manga face” and guys...that’s what our anime used to look like.

I mean look at that uncomfortable chin there, that tapers in for some reason. Those eyes melting off of her face. The lack of any 3d sense. This was an anime ideal for a very, very long time.

Anyway, the “how to draw manga face” is a perfect masterpiece and never needs to change. (But it is fun to make fun of it although I guess the person that drew it was actually a kid, which makes sense from a publishing perspective to have a kid make a book about how to draw stuff for kids.)

We see a little flashback of Schroeder and why he hates Seto Kaiba, and can I just say, I kind of love this little outfit. Kind of a shame that it’s stuffed into a flashback.

Which is when we found out that Zigfried thinks Seto Kaiba did a plagiarism.

Which is hilarious because it was Gozaburo Kaiba who was plagiarizing Seto, so like...who did it first?

OK guys. Lets talk about this.

APPARENTLY, there was some sort of contest to work with Pegasus...kind of like an architecture contest (which is a thing, when a city is doing a big project, they send out a call, and big firms will compete to see who builds it) and I GOTTA know what Pegasus’ theme was.

Like did he say to all the little rich kid geniuses “I would like something that makes my cards ALIVE, can you do that?” Then when Pegasus got a hell ton of holograms and was he like “But ALIVE--it makes it alive, right boy?” And when he was shaking the hands of each stupid kid was he like “So if I hypothetically put my dead wife on a card and slapped it into the machine--could she EXIST. Like...enough? I just need her to legally exist is all, and not like..literally of course...but enough literally to be a sin against God, can you do that?”

I just want to know if Willy Wonka Wonderkid Von Schroeder had any idea he was creating a resurrection chamber for a dark wizard. Like he has no idea that he dodged getting his business bought straight from under him and his soul shoved into a card. And it’s not like Schroeder was going to abduct Yugi’s Grandpa and ensure that Yugi would be there to save him down the road. Like I’m pretty sure Schroeder would have been sacrificed waaay before that whole island contest even went down.

Zigfried got so freakin lucky. I can’t believe he’s mad. But then again...

...the man swims in milk pools so like...maybe his logic center is busted? Maybe he wanted to die in a horrific murder island? I don't know what Zigfried is into, but I do know that because Zigfried doesn’t have millennium rod powers linking him to the millennium eye--so would it have mattered? There’s destiny reasons that Pegasus chose Kaiba.

Course...we never found out where the scales ended up, have we? We think it’s Shadi, but have we seen Shadi bust those out since Season Zero?

Man that would be a good plot twist that will absolutely not happen.

Yo, make horse guy into a dark wizard, show, I dare you!

Anyway, that’s all for now, but if you want to read from the beginning, here’s the link:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[rukia-writes]

✨SNK Daddies x Ghost! Reader✨

✨setting: Modern AU✨

✨Crackfic- A lot of characters are in here too✨

“Why are we here again?”

“Hanji wanted us to try this supposed haunted bar and it’s Hanji’s birthday.”

Erwin responded back to Levi as he knocked back a shot glass full of brandy like it wasn’t anything. Levi rolled his eyes as the table behind him cheered, his uncle and Hanji was the main reason as the two won a drinking game. Mike had just walked into the restaurant as his nose sniffed the air smelling food being cooked, walking up to the bar he sat beside Erwin and ordered himself a drink.

“Hanji’s birthday huh?”

“Mhmm.”

Erwin and Levi hummed in response as they downed another drink, as another round of cheers erupted. As the night went on, more guests arrived such as Moblit, Zeke, Kruger, and Keith Shadis. Soon, everyone had left the restaurant except for Hanji’s guests. It was almost midnight when Hanji managed to get all the equipment needed for tonight, cameras, EMF readers, spirit boxes and monitors the whole nine yards.

“Alright guys, so are you all ready for a lockdown?”

“..Pardon? I thought this was just a party? We are actually staying in this haunted place?”

“Place isn’t haunted.”

Levi added in to Zeke’s surprise, Hanji on the other hand nodded in agreement to Zeke’s questions.

“Yes, until morning. I asked the owner Keith shadis to let us do this for the night, for my birthday.”

“Don’t worry, the ghost is pretty calm. But there have been strange occurrences.”

“Such as?”

Levi asked a relaxed Keith Shadis who sitting at the bar enjoying a drink, Keith only looked up from his drink with a serious expression after finishing his drink.

“You’ll find out.”

Keith simply stated as Hanji then proceeded to setup everything with the help of the guests of course. Hanji was pretty excited for the most part, until Hanji stopped completely at hearing footsteps coming up from behind. A cold chill made Hanji shiver, not from the cold but from excitement.

“What is wrong?”

“I think it’s starting.”

Moblit asked as he watched Hanji get a big smile, and that’s when the clock struck midnight making an eerie “Ding” noise.

“Okay, let’s do the spirit box first-“

Hanji was cut off by Erwin yelling and jumping up from his seat in fright. Scaring everyone there finding out Erwin could scream quite loudly.

“What’s wrong Erwin?”

“...Felt like something grabbed my thigh.”

Erwin huffed with his hand placed on his chest trying to calm his rapidly beating heart, Hanji was quick to move everyone out the way. Placing a hand near Erwin hips then gasping at how cold the air around Erwin was now.

“Amazing.”

“This isn’t a ghost. It’s probably just draft or something.”

Levi tried to reason with Hanji only to hear his uncle cussing up a storm, and with good reason. Kenny’s hat was levitating in mid air, just simply floating. Zeke had seen enough as he was already trying to get out as he twist and turned the door knob trying to open the door but it was locked.

“Open this door. Who has the keys? Because I’m going home-“

At that moment one of Hanji’s spirit boxes picked up a message on the monitor scaring everyone, except levi that said “Home” and then “Handsome.”

“Hanji? What does this mean?”

“It means...I have no clue. What’s your name, spirit? Tell us your name?”

Everyone waited for awhile listening closely only to panic when The EVP monitor screen showed another message saying “(Name)”. Even Shadis was starting to panic as he never knew the spirit’s name that was haunting his restaurant.

“No fucking way. Let me see that.”

Levi grabbed the spirit box making Zeke nervous and everyone else there nervous.

“Okay, (Name)? What’s my name?”

It was quiet for a second or two until another message showed up on the screen “Levi Ackerman”, Everyone started to panic especially when Levi yelled himself and dropped the small spirit box as he had a hold of his ass now. Making Kenny ask worried for his nephew,

“What’s wrong boy?! What the hell is going on?!”

“Something touched me on the ass, I swear.”

Mike and Erwin were at the door trying to open the door as this was too much for them, only to have the lights flicker on and off then it was now Kenny and Kruger’s turn to yell in freight while holding on to their asses. Levi knew that look and asked the two men,

“You too?”

“Yeah.”

“This ghost better stop playing around. I’ll fight it.”

“You can’t fight air Kenny.”

Levi corrected his uncle as Kenny already had his pistol out ready to shoot, that is until the spirit box turned on by itself that was in moblit’s hands. Then quickly saying “Handsome men.”

“No way. No fucking way.”

Levi was now also at the door ready to leave as Moblit was freaking out at the spirit box just turning itself on and speaking.

“Hanji, this place is haunted.”

“I told you it was haunted.”

Hanji replied back while recording the whole thing on several cameras while carrying one, then looking at the spirit box with the camera.

“Who do you think is handsome, (Name)? Who are you attracted to?”

“It’s a spirit Hanji-“

“All of you.”

Everyone screamed as Moblit tossed the spirit box and headed for the door ready to bust it down if need be. Hanji and Kenny then heard the spirit box say “friendly” and even the word was up on the monitor.

“Aww hey guys, I think (Name)’s trying to be friends with us.”

“Well, it’s a bit too damn friendly if you know what I mean. My ass still stings.”

Kenny added in as he rubbed his not caring if anyone sees, Mike walked up to Hanji and leaned speaking directly into the spirit box.

“If you’re friendly, spank my ass.”

“Mike!”

Everyone yelled except for Kenny who was simply looking at Mike like he had lost his mind and when he heard Mike yell and grab his ass Kenny felt his pain. This ghost had a strong hand.

“I say we split up. Maybe there are more spirits here.”

Hanji suggested and being that it was Hanji’s birthday they all agreed. It was now almost three o clock at night as the restaurant was completely dark as the only lights that were that of the bar where shadis was drinking at. Hearing all sorts of screams and yells throughout the night.

(Name) was very active tonight, Shadis had never seen this level paranormal activity before.

Zeke had his ass smacked, Levi had his smacked again, Kenny had his hat float again as well as his gun taken away, Mike had his thighs smacked but he wasn’t phased it was Erwin’s screaming that scared him, Erwin had his ass smacked and he felt a cold gust of wind go down his back, Kruger saw several dark shadows thorougout the restaurant and would also have his thighs rubbed.

Finally, It was three o clock and everyone met back at the bar where shadis was still drinking.

“Have fun?”

“We got all sort of paranormal activity! (Name) tickled me!”

Hanji happily replied back while holding a camera looking back at the footage, everyone seemed to have gotten used to this friendly ghost. Everyone was now sitting around the table with Moblit recording everyone with a Kinect's 3D motion tracking camera, which is able to specifically seek out and read human forms.

“Okay to wrap things up, I think we should ask our new friend some questions and since this is my birthday I’ll go first...how are you today, (Name)? Are you happy?”

Everyone was quiet and waited for (Name) to speak and soon enough (Name) did speak a “Happy” in the spirit box, Moblit began to freak out a bit as the screen showed a figure floating over the table kindly weird like.

“Ask another guys, (Name)’s on the table.”

“Oh, Really?”

Kenny asked intrigued as he started moving his arm all over the place making figure disappear, making Hanji and Moblit mad. Zeke tapped the spirit box a few times like a comedian testing the microphone.

“Are you going to follow us home?”

Everyone was quiet until a “Yes” was heard on the spirit box, Moblit became happy as he saw (Name)’s figure back on the screen. Zeke wasn’t surprised but Mike and Kruger were. Levi on the other hand wasn’t too excited about the news.

“I want to shit in peace, you can’t come home with me.”

Mike busted out laughing even though Levi was serious, Erwin chuckled a bit before he asked his question.

“Is there something we can bring you? To make you happy, (Name)?”

Once again everyone was quiet until a “Everyone...Come back..to see me.”

Everyone “Aww” in unison as Levi felt bad knowing (Name) must’ve meant as a joke about coming home, so Levi decided to ask a question of his own.

“Do you like tea?”

“That’s your question?”

“Hush, bushy brow. (Name) is trying to speak.”

At that moment a “It’s good” came thru the box and Levi made a mental note to bring tea next time, Kenny asked the next question.

“Was that you who was humming when I was upstairs? It was rather nice.”

Everyone was quiet until a “Yes” came thru, making Kenny “Ha, I knew it.” As he downed a shot glass full of alcohol. Levi thought Kenny was hearing things when the two were upstairs, chopping it up to Kenny’s hearing going out. Kruger was next to ask a question,

“Are you the one who took my cigarettes?”

“Yours came up missing too? I thought i just misplaced mine.”

Zeke added in as he patted his pants pockets knowing full well he came in with a pack of cigarettes, a “Yes.” Came thru the box making Zeke and Kruger pout a bit until Mike leaned towards the spirit box even though it wasn’t necessary.

“Was that you who touched my ass when we were upstairs?”

Everyone was silent until a “No..Not me.” Came thru the spirit box surprising Mike quite a bit as he was positive that it was (Name) until he heard someone clear their throat.

“Sorry, that was me Mike. I couldn’t see in the dark and um.. it was me. Wasn’t (Name).”

Erwin scratched his neck while blushing a bit, Kenny started laughing until Levi elbowed his uncle in the rib cage. Hanji and Moblit were holding in their chuckle as Mike simply said “Oh, that’s okay.” While scratching his neck as well. Time went on and everyone stayed up until the sun came up as lockdown was now over.

While lock down was over everyone came back to the restaurant, (Name)’s presence was still there and everyone from that night could feel it.

(Name) had a unique touch.

✨Rukia-Writes✨

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine 😈

Erik getting caught fucking a sex doll and plus sized Reader catches him in the act/ Fic inspired by Tanerélle- Mama Saturn.

Warnings: Straight up SMUT. Nothing but smut.

Y/N.

A sinful treat that Erik wanted to devour every single time he saw her. Sexy bitch. He likes a girl that’s a bit of a challenge to get into his bed. She didn’t wear her pussy power on her sleeve. Not a church girl exactly but one who’ll play mouse to his sharp-clawed cat. Y/N was exactly that challenge. She’s a plus sized model from Washington DC that Erik had the pleasure of meeting during a block party/ fundraiser in Oakland CA for the Wakandan Outreach Center.

She volunteered for one of the booths there and Erik couldn’t help but to talk to her. She compelled him. Erik found himself enjoying her east coast accent and how much she loved being a model. It was the only thing she’d ever wanted to do, and she was in it for the long haul. She was turned down plenty of times; denied opportunities because of her “shape”. Bullshit. Complete bullshit. Her shape, her overall beauty...Erik’s thoughts lingered on her pretty face and equally beautiful body even after he went home from the office, picturing her standing behind him while he showered, arms wrapped around his waist, her face nuzzled into the small of his back.

Okay...that wasn’t all he pictured. He’d pictured bending her over his California King Bed, her hands fisting the 800 thread count sheets while he plunged his fat dick deep inside of her throbbing pussy, making her cum almost instantly. He pictured her losing some of the calm control she exerted over every other aspect of her being, trusting him to be there to catch her as she trembled her way to ecstasy. From simple meet ups whenever she came around the Outreach, Y/N wasn’t the girl who threw her pussy around like a Frisbee. Fucking perfect. He liked inexperienced puss.

Good, Erik wants that. He wanted nothing more than to break that puss in hot and raw with his sizable appendage. A pretty puss that he could turn out. She’ll remember him in that pretty kitty. He’d never taken the time to actually become friends with a women without sex being involved. Y/N was just that. She would come over at times to chill with Erik, watching movies or chatting it up. Even though Erik wanted to fuck her, he still appreciates the times where they would just link up and bond. It got so crazy that Erik gave her a spare key whenever she needed a place to escape to when he was out of town with his cousin; the King of Wakanda. Every time he would come back home, her smell...nutmeg and vanilla bean would still be there. In his sheets. In his kitchen. On his couch. Ugh. He was half tempted to let her move in since she couldn’t stand living with her roommate.

“Have you ever had your big, juicy ass properly worshipped?”

That’s what he wanted to ask her while staring at her proud, thick, curves before him, imaging the luscious mocha color of her booty straining as she bounced gently up and down his big, fat dick. Her heavy bottom was the perfect roundness, a reward for Erik’s months without sex, of yearning to kneel down in front of her, to taste her sweet pussy and touch her beautiful voluptuous body.

This is all your fault, Y/N

Erik found himself doing something he hasn’t done in a long time. It was a late Thursday evening, he drove past a Sex Shop he’s been meaning to explore. Succulent was the name of it, one of the C’s blinking in and out from the faulty light bulbs. Big, read cursive letters over top of a sleazy adult toy shop in the heart of Oakland on a rainy Thursday evening. He needed a release. He hadn’t seen Y/N for a couple of days since she went to visit family in Atlantic City. She teased him with a few sexy pics in skimpy dresses and bikinis and Erik shamelessly beat his hefty dick to the images.

Parking his car, paying the meter to avoid a ticket, Erik pulled his windbreaker hood over his head to shield the rain drops, slamming his door shut before checking that the coast was clear to cross over. Once his left foot hit the cracked and wet pavement, Erik stood in front of the sex shop, rain hitting his lashes and the tip of his nose, his face illuminated by the LED lights that warmed his russet skin and sparked his nerves. In the display window, there are a few tall boxes with a picture of a very very titillating black women that looked like a cosmic beauty with an Afro and eyes that sparkles like diamonds. Her naked body glistened like some supernova sex goddess, skin like midnight. On the outside of the boxes there are big, bubble gum pink letters surrounding it.

Mama Saturn Kan Make U Kream!

Erik opens the door, a soft bell dinging above his head. The shop smelled like scented candles. The rug was a plush royal purple and the lights were dimmed to set the mood. Rows and rows filled with any and everything SEX. Occupying the register is a young black girl with long passion twists in her hair pulled up into a bun, a matching legging set colored peach with gold gladiator sandals on her feet. She’s currently standing on a step ladder, putting up the same sign in the window above a display behind the register.

Mama Saturn Kan Make u Kream!

“Hi!!!”

She was upbeat and good-humored with a pretty smile and hazel eyes. Erik returned a half smirk, the dimple in his right cheek creating a deep hollow. He removed his hood before taking his right hand to shake out his tapered dreads.

“My name is Shay, if you need any help at all, let me know,” she looked Erik over with appreciative eyes.

“I’ll let you know if I need anything Shay,” Erik says before walking further into the store, his eyes moving from left to right as he took in the scenery. Smaller shelves filled with DVD’s and porn magazines were situated in the front. Erik picked up a few to look over. Ebony Lust, XXX Cocoa, Busty Mochas, Ghetto Booty Queens...

This store must be owned by a black male or female. Erik really liked that. He could see a few white men flipping through pages, eyes as big as saucers staring at all that chocolate, divine booty and pussy on those pages, the visuals popping out at them like 3D pictures. Erik bobbed his head to Megan Thee Stallion’s- Sex Talk while peeking down a few aisles to explore. What Erik hadn’t noticed until now is that there are booths in the back with a black velvet curtain as the only concealment. Curious, gait so smooth, Erik made his way down an aisle filled with male sex toys to see what was behind those curtains.

Finally there, standing before one of them, Erik pulled the curtain back. The booth was small and cramped. It was one of those booths where you put a quarter in a slot to watch a quick porn scene. The booth and walls were nice and clean, painted black like the curtains, but Erik could only imagine how it looked before. Cum stains on the floor and on the booths, women watching the thirty second flick while rubbing themselves down. Men slipping their dicks past the velvet curtains like a glory hole so they could provide something for the women to suck and slurp on. 

“You can go in if you like. It’s only a quarter.”

Erik was alarmed when he felt a small hand rub the tension from his muscles. Turning to look over his broad shoulder, Erik’s whiskey-colored eyes fell on a 5’5, caramel skinned baddie. It was Shay, the store clerk. 

“Just make sure you wipe up when you’re finished, okay?”

Erik chuckles, releasing the curtain so that it can close, “Damn...it gets that messy, huh?”

“Oh, yeah,” Shay shakes her head with a grin, “I can’t even begin to tell you what goes on beyond these curtains...some of the shit I’ve seen...”

“Wild,” Erik licks his lips.

“Like I said, you can go inside, the flicks are only thirty seconds but it’s worth it,” She says with a honeyed tone.

“Yeah...I need more than thirty seconds to bust a nut, ma. That’s not nearly good enough.”

“Oh?” Shay folds her arms across her small cleavage, “See...I can tell you’re no amateur. You’ve probably tried a lot of the toys in here with women.”

Erik’s lips twisted in thought, eyes heavenward, “I’ve tried a lot of things...I guess you can say I’m an expert...what? You got something that will spark my interest?”

“Just the thing,” Shay walks closer, making her voice smaller, “ Mama Saturn can make you cream.”

“Mama Saturn?” Erik blinks his eyes down at Shay before pointing towards the front of the store, “You mean the sex doll in the display window? Nah, that’s not my type of thing, baby girl.”

“You’d be surprised. Ten have already been sold and they came in today. They’re selling out in other sex shops too. Thanks to one of Tony Stark’s ex-employees that worked in his artificial intelligence department.”

Erik’s eyes squinted as he elevated a single brow down at Shay. If one of Tony Stark’s ex-employees created Mama Saturn it must be an impressive design, almost like the real thing. He knew it had to cost an arm, leg, and head. Erik wasn’t going to lie, he is curious about the sex doll. He remembers laughing about men fucking sex dolls. Who would want to stick their dick in a plastic blow up doll to bust a nut? The shit was comical. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Shay gently squeezes Erik’s bicep, “if you change your mind about Mama Saturn, you know where to find me, handsome.” 

Erik regarded Shay as she sashayed away down one of the rows filled with erotica before disappearing completely. It was midnight and he was standing in a sex shop. He came here to buy something he probably already has packed away in one of his heavy duty suitcases at the back of his closet. Toys he hasn’t used in FOREVER since he laid his eyes on Y/N. He’s been courting Y/N for months. Yes, Erik “the pussy monster” Stevens. He didn’t earn that nickname just for the fun of it. 

He could only imagine the women he used to sleep with seeing him again. They wouldn’t hesitate to give him the finger or an evil scowl  and for the most part he didn’t blame them. He was selfish, greedy and horny in his younger years, too full of himself to appreciate the true joy a woman could bring him on all levels. Erik has never been in a situation where he wasn’t in a hurry to get a girl out of her clothes, to figure out who she was by the way she writhed, the way she moaned his name into the pillow or his ear, the way she came on his dick or his tongue. 

Deciding to get something quick; some new BDSM toys, Erik grabs a basket, filling it up with handcuffs, edible lube, vibrating tongue covers, candles for hot wax play, nipple clamps, floggers, anything so he could get home for the evening. An evening he could be spending sitting up on the phone with Y/N, her sweet voice keeping him company while he was in bed. Erik trailed to the front of the shop, standing behind a few men. One of them he noticed carried a box with the sex doll inside; the long box in front of him. 

“That will be…$105.86,” Shay watches the customer insert his chip into the card machine, his transaction completed. 

“I can help you!” Shay called to the man with the sex doll. She began ringing him up, Erik’s eyes looking at one of  the boxes in the window.

Tell me all your names, baby

Tell me all your names, I need to know

Then I'll tell you mine, baby

Then I’ll tell you mine and we can go

To past the time

Shift paradigms

Align our bodies with the sky

'Til I am yours and you are mine…

The song began to play with the surround sound of the sex shop. The sultry voice called for him, tickling his ears and making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

I'd do anything for you

Yeah, I’d do anything for you

Baby, just say the word

And we make perfect sense

God could not resist no

I can feel the urge

To drop defense

At my expense

Allow my body to ascend

Along with yours

Let love commence…

“That’s all for you today?”

Erik was the only one left in line now. 

“Shit, it’s late as hell,” Erik spoke in his defense, “Long ass day.” 

“No problem, handsome,” Shay rings in his items, “Candles?”

“You never know,” Erik chuckles with his signature half smirk.

Close my eyes, embrace my matter

Swing my hips as if they bear the rings of Mama Saturn

Stretch my vertebrae so we can climb it like a ladder

And step into our world…

“Who is this?” Erik asks with fondness in his voice.

Mama Saturn,” Shay says with a coy smile, “Well, she’s who inspired the design of this sex doll. 

Erik couldn’t keep his eyes off of the boxes in the windows. What was it that made this sex doll so compelling? Maybe it was because he was aching for a sexual release. Maybe because he wanted to know why this sex doll was so popular. Did it do tricks? Did it talk to you? Was it designed to feel like the real thing? A really pussy?

“...how much for one of those sex dolls?”

Shay tried to fight a smile but the corners of her lips couldn’t help but to turn up. 

“2,000.” Shay says flat out.

“Makes sense,” Erik didn’t flinch at the price, he expected it to be that much especially since it was created by an ex-coworker of Tony Stark. 

“Last chance,” Shay teases, all of his other items priced at $78.86.”  

“Shit, why not, add one to the total.”

—————————-

Friday Evening

“hmmm what can you do?” Erik paced his bedroom in a pair of grey sweats and a plain white T-shirt. The manual for Mama Saturn rested between his fingers, the doll itself sitting in a recliner chair in his bedroom. The doll was indeed impressive. The skin felt so real, the face just as mind blowing. Erik honestly felt that 2,000 was a snag compared to what it should be retailed for. He had it charging since this morning since he planned on testing it out tonight. 

“Mama Saturn can make you cream...I act out live fantasies for you...charge me up and take me for a ride...you won’t even tell the difference between the real thing and me...”

Erik shakes his head before folding up the instructions. He looked over at Mama Saturn sitting in the chair, the eyes on that doll feeling more and more realistic the longer Erik gazed. Tearing his eyes away, Erik reached for his glass tumbler filled with cognac, taking a long sip. Was he really going to fuck a sex doll? The thought of it has him laughing into his glass. Wiping liquor from his chin, Erik’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Erik pulls it out to find Y/N calling him. Placing his drink down, Erik answers the call, resting on the edge of his bed.

“Hello?”

“Erik?” 

He felt warmth creep up his belly.

“Hey,” He says with a soft spoken voice. 

“I missed you,” She sighs, “I had to cut my vacation short.”

“I missed you too,” He really wanted to tell her to come see him since her trip ended so quickly, “Wasn’t even there for 48 hours.”

“Well...my family is pretty broken. I was hoping to make amends but that didn’t work out. I was not going to be there for two more nights and deal with it.”

Erik lays back against his bed, sliding the instructions to Mama Saturn to the side, “If i were there to keep you company the trip would have been better...am I lying?”

She giggles, “No. you would have made it even better.”

Y/N grew silent on the other end, the sound of her turn signal blaring through the phone.

“Where are you?” Erik asks.

“I’m on my way home from the airport. I’m tired, I need some sleep. I have a lingerie shoot in the AM.”

“Jet lagged, huh?” Erik runs his fingers through his dreads, “Once you get in that house you’re ass is gonna be passed out on the couch.”

“I know! I was thinking damn it’s a Friday night and I’m usually eating Chinese with Erik intstead of by myself on his couch but yessss I am entirely too tired to stay up late. Rain check?”

Erik hopes he didn’t have disappointment in his voice when he responded, “Yeah, of course. If you’re free tomorrow you can come over.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Erik...let me get off of this phone, I’m almost home. Night, Erik!”

“Night, ma,” Erik ends the call, resting his phone against his chest, “Damn…”

Erik looks up and over his head at the sex doll. Lifting up, stretching his arms above his head, Erik exhales before removing his sweats and his T-shirt, sitting on the edge of the bed completely naked now minus the gold chain around his neck and his Nike socks. His dick was semi erect between his legs, resting against his inner thigh. The minute he went to grab his smooth, brown dick it thrummed against the palm of his hand. Erik rolls his tongue along the inside of his left cheek.

Standing, Erik walks over to his closet, opening it and grabbing one of his suitcases filled with sex toys. Opening the suitcase, Erik grabs a bottle of lube before closing it back up. Erik shook the bottle, the contents inside sloshing around. Erik with his lube in hand walked over to Mama Saturn seated on his recliner chair. He stood before the sex doll, his eyes dancing over it, wrapping his mind around the fact that he was about to fuck the shit out of this doll. Grabbing the remote control that came with it, Erik admires the different vibration and pulse settings. 

Erik grabs the sex doll, bringing it to his bed before resting it in the middle of it. Even caressing the thighs was bizarre. Eyebrows disappearing behind the curtain of tapered dreads resting over his forehead, Erik pulls the legs apart on Mama Saturn, eyes growing wider the more he stares at her “pussy”.

“No fucking way,” Erik was stunned. 

Before him is a pussy molded for him to deep-dive into. The ULTRASKYN material is smooth. He was going to need A LOT of lube to help his fat dick glide inside of Mama Saturn’s soft, fully detailed vagina. Erik takes his finger tips to stroke the outer lips of her mound. Erik cracked a smile when he used his finger to insert inside of the realistic sex doll. Flexible, walls covered with countless ridges to create a realistic sensation. 

“Shit,” Erik says barely above a whisper, “they weren't playing when they made you…”

Erik removes his finger, grabbing up his lube to cover his dick and balls generously before doing the same thing to Mama Saturn’s vagina and...how impressive, her asshole. Three holes to explore including her life-like mouth with lips so full. Mama Saturn is amazingly detailed from the smooth texture of her skin to her brown eyes with luxurious lashes, curly fro, and plump lips. Erik decided to try out the mouth first. His dick hasn’t been in a woman’s mouth for months. This will have to do for now until he finally gets a chance with Y/N. 

Using his fingers, Erik opens her mouth, amazed to see a smooth pink tongue and a deep throat. It’s a sex doll so he knew it would be never ending. His pipe would be able to go deep in all three of her holes without a barrier. Grabbing his dick at the base, jerking it, Erik lines his dick up with the mouth on Mama Saturn before pushing himself fully inside. 

“Ooh?” Erik shuttered, his gluteal muscles tight, “fuck...fuckk.”

Shocked, confounded, dazed, Erik stared down at the doll like it came to life and slapped him across his pretty face. What else can you do, he thought before grabbing the remote, pressing a random button. His body almost fell on top of the sex doll. Erik just knew that there was some man out there, lonely and undesired who would marry this fucking doll. Mama Saturn’s mouth and throat are lined with stimulators to make Erik bust strong and hard. The squishy, ribbed texture along with the way it pulsates and vibrates had Erik grabbing a fist full of the doll's hair that felt so silky smooth to the touch, the curls coiling around his thick fingers.

“Goddamn,” He whispered shallowly from his lungs, “ahhhHHH, fuck this fucking doll ain’t no joke!” He spoke through clenched teeth.

Who knew a damn sex doll would make his balls tight and heavy with cum and his dick so damn hard he could bench press a barbell. His thrusts became even more sloppy, hips smashing into the realistic face of Mama Saturn. So much room for him to swivel his hips, ram his dick in hard and fast, and yank and pull her hair. No teeth, just straight slippery ridges giving him an ultimate sensation. 

“Unh, shit,” Erik felt the muscles in his back flex, “Shit is so deep.” 

Deeper than the real thing. Nothing compared to the real thing, NOT AT ALL but Erik could understand in that moment while his dick went in and out with a gluttony to cum why this toy sold as much as it did. One thing for him to check off his list of sexual exploration. The sheen of sweat on his back trickled down over his ass and the muscles in his arms trembled the more he lowered that doll's mouth over his dick. 

“SHIT- oh my fucking God-“

Erik pulls his dick out, stroking it a good two times before his thick, tasty cum landed on the doll's face. It was the vibrations and the pulses. He’d never cum that quick from oral. 

“Mmmm,” He moans, before rubbing the last bit of his nut on the doll’s face, “This is so wild.”

Dick still poked out and nowhere near softening up, Erik pries Mama Saturn’s legs apart, staring down at the realistic vagina with horny curiosity. Once again, Erik slips his fingers inside, closing his eyes and imagining that it was Y/N’s pussy he was fingering. She had to have the fattest pussy ever, not to mention the wettest pussy ever. She would probably cover his entire hand with her slick juices. Biting his lip, Erik lines his sensitive, wide tip up with the tight opening on that damn doll. With a slight shake of his head, Erik’s dick slipped past the flesh-like labia before fully burying inside. 

“Ugh! Shit!” Erik’s head flew back, eyelids flickering, “Shit don’t make no sense…”

He was frustrated with himself for fucking a sex doll when he could be ten inches deep in Y/N’s pussy with his balls slapping her ass. Hips pistoning in and out of Mama Saturn while his sweat dropped from the tip of his nose, Erik kept his eyes closed as he imagined this doll being Y/N, staring up at him with her innocent brown eyes, confused and moaning. He imagined that he was with her, sliding hot and nasty against her sweaty body, watching her arch and stretch as he pulled his dick almost all the way out of her gorgeous, slick pussy, then slamming it back in and making her scream. 

“Y/N...damn...your pussy feels so good Y/N...I knew that puss would be nice and tight for daddy’s fat dick, baby...I just wanna make you cum, girl...fuck...I just wanna feel that sticky cum all over this big-fucking-dick-

“Erik?”

“Yeah? I’m in that pussy baby? Daddy fucking that pussy?”

“Erik…”

“Yeah, call daddy’s name like that, Unh fuck, girl...pussy is so damn good-

“Erik!”

His eyes popped open almost instantly when he heard Y/N’s voice elevate. The vibration from Mama Saturn shot straight to his heavy sack before Bam!!!! His cum filled that toy to the hilt. Erik pulled his body away from the doll, staring at it with bewildered eyes while his dick bobbed up and down between his legs. Did it just speak? Now his mind was really playing tricks on him…

“Erik-Erik I’m, I’m so sorry.”

A jarring expression on his sweaty face, Erik turns towards the entrance to his room to find Y/N standing there in a fabletics outfit with a Nike cap covering her braided hair, white Nike huarache on her feet, and a take out bag in her left hand. She was frozen, her eyes dancing between the doll covered in his cum and his naked body glistening and still very much hardened. 

“Y/N-

“I’m really fucking sorry Erik, oh, fuck, I’m so fucking sorry I feel so bad for walking in on you like this, Erik shit, I’m sorry-

“I...I thought you were going home?” 

“I...was...but...I…” she instantly stopped speaking. Y/N’s eyes could not stop looking at the doll and Erik’s body. She was half-tempted to drop the food and scurry away but the scene in front of her eyes…

“Y/N? How long have you been standing there?”

Longer than she would like to admit. When Erik hung up she decided last minute to surprise him with food. Y/N wanted badly to see Erik, hoping that tonight would finally be the night that he would take advantage of her but instead he’s taking advantage of a sex doll that he envisioned was herself taking his big ass dick. All that dick that he was giving to a sex doll…

“I’m just...I think...Erik I’m sorry,” Y/N turned on her heels, taking wide strides to his kitchen to drop off the food and rush out of his luxury apartment. She didn’t know that having his key would lead to her walking in on him having a blast with a sex doll. She felt embarrassed. Erik looked abashed for a second but then his body seemed to relax, his nudity and the sex doll with its legs wide open before him just another thing in his room. 

“Y/N! Wait!” She could hear Erik getting up from his bed. Looking over her shoulder, she could see Erik walking towards her, still naked, dick swaying, eyes soft and pleading for her to stay. 

“Erik, I’m sorry,” She couldn’t stop apologizing. She was at his door, twisting the knob when his hand grasped her shoulder. Y/N didn’t turn, she couldn’t bring herself to face him while his amazingly-built body and that beautiful, fat dick stares back at her, inviting her. 

“Stop apologizing,” He used force, turning Y/N completely, her back pressing against the door hard. She turned her head away from him, looking over his sweaty shoulder. 

“It’s nothing for you to feel sorry about, Y/N...I just wasn’t expecting to see you tonight…”

She could smell his sweat...it was an intensely masculine scent. The spiced nuances burned her nose, she could even smell a hint of cocoa. His entire atmosphere warmed her and electrified her body in ways she hadn’t felt since forever. Why was he doing this? Standing before her, looking down at her with his blazing eyes, fully naked and still as stiff as concrete. 

“Last minute decision,” she stuck her hand in a small pocket on the side of her athletic leggings, “Here...your key back-

“Nah,” Erik folded his hand over hers, “Keep it...I like it when you use it...makes me think you live here with me…”

She looked at him then. Their eyes matched the same compulsion. 

“What?” He asks with a whisper.

“...Erik, I should go,” Y/N went back to twisting the knob but her eyes stayed glued to his, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He closed his eyes before raising a single brow, “I really wish it was you instead, Y/N...I really wish it was you, girl.”

His eyes opened and THAT'S when things really turned up. His body pressed into hers, the flesh of his girthy dick resting against her stomach from their height difference. He was still sticky down there from using lube to fuck that doll. She swallowed spit, lower lip trembling as she watched his face get dangerously close to hers. 

“You don’t know how bad I need you,” He mumbles, “Stay, please? here,” Erik reaches for her hand, Y/N’s fingertips touching the swollen, wide tip of his dick. She gasped, eyes glossy. Erik made her wrap her hand around his dick, her fingertips barely touching. 

“Please?” His eyes swam with lust as he studied her face.

The urgency in his voice made her quiver. This was too much to unfold at the moment. The doll was still on his bed. Could she really have sex with him right now after he just ejaculated inside of a fake vagina? His fingers lightly touched her hips and Y/N’s lower lip rested between her teeth. While she nibbled nervously, Erik’s warm breath tickled her cheek. His lips were so close. 

“I wanna fuck you,” He whispered, “I wanna fuck you so bad, Y/N.”

“Not now, Erik,” Y/N pushed herself away from him gently, quickly opening the door, “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t look back, her mind was swirling with tremendous confusion. She did have an early shoot in the AM and she was indeed jet lagged. As he called her name, his voice desperate, Y/N decided to take the staircase so he wouldn’t follow her, or worse, pick her up and carry her back into his apartment, MAKING HER STAY. She stopped on the next level to catch her breath before deciding to take the elevators the rest of the way down. How was she going to face him the next day after what she just witnessed? She had to sleep it off.

—————————

Y/N sat down on a fluffy white sofa after shooting her last few pictures with her personal photographer. Dressed in a black leather lingerie set with matching leather gloves and a choker that spelled out Baby Girl in silver lettering, Y/N thought about what happened just six hours prior. 

She didn’t call or text Erik. She couldn’t bring herself to do it yet. He gave her space even though a part of her missed his silly texts. He liked to send her voice messages instead of typing. She didn’t complain, his husky voice was ear porn for her. 

“We did good today,” Her photographer, Bruce, a good friend and talented artist says while looking at her pictures on his camera, “You just get sexier and sexier every time I see you.”

She blushed, “Thanks, Bruce. When are you going to show me those sexy polaroids of your fiancé and all her thickness?”

“I’ll bring them next week, I promise,” Bruce walks away to put his camera in its designated bag.

“Let me get dressed,” Y/N stood up from the sofa, “I’ll lock up, Bruce, you don’t have to worry about it. Go home and take your fiancé to brunch.”

“You’re sure? Ain’t no rush for me.”

“I’m positive, go on,” Y/N waved him away while grabbing a robe from her vanity to put on, “Treat her to some food and have a good time.”

“Thanks, Y/N, I’ll see you next week, Aight? I got Jayla hooking you up with a sexy set of dresses. I’ll see you at 8 AM, next Saturday.”

“Can’t wait! Bye Bruce!”

Y/N gave him a final wave as she watched him leave the studio. She was just about to gather her things and get dressed when a knock came to the studio door. Y/N sat her things back down, walking towards the front of the studio and finding a man standing at the door, his head downcast as he typed on his phone. She couldn’t make out his face because it was shielded behind a hood. He wore a denim jacket over his hood with a pair of black cargo pants and black and white Jordan 13’s on his feet. 

Her phone rang. Reaching into her robe pocket, Y/N pulls out her phone. 

Erik.

Her eyes shot up towards the door, his eyes staring back at her through the glass. There was no use in ignoring him, he could see her through the glass, wrapped in a robe. With an irregular breath, Y/N walked to the door, unlocking it before stepping away. Erik opened the door, pulling his hood off of his head before allowing the door to swing shut behind him. He turned, locking the door before facing her again with searching eyes. 

“How was the shoot?” He asks while placing his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket.

“It was great, always great,” Y/N’s eyes darted around the studio, “What are you doing here?”

“Figured I would try to show up and see you work but I’m too late,” Erik’s eyes burned into hers, “Then I figured we could get something to eat and talk about what went down last night before you ran away from me.”

She wasn’t getting out of this. Y/N motioned for Erik to follow her towards the back of the studio where Bruce’s backdrops and furniture were. Erik took a seat on the white sofa, Y/N right next to him, folding her shiny, chocolate legs. Erik couldn’t help but to glimpse a peek of her smooth legs and the little bit of cleavage that teased him through the small opening at the top of the robe. Beneath that thick robe was a body he wanted so deeply he shivered. There was so much to see and taste and touch. If he pulled that robe from her body he wouldn’t know where to start or finish. 

“I ain’t expect for you to see all of that,” Erik spoke with his hands, eyes glancing over at her from time to time, “how did you feel when you saw me fucking the doll?”

“Uhm…” Y/N adjusted her hips on the sofa, “It was shocking...I guess I was a little turned on by it…” she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“If you were turned on...why didn’t you stay?” 

Y/N batted her lashes as she gave him a once-over, “Because it was too much to deal with. The doll...your body…”

“Hm,” Erik observed her with his whiskey eyes, “I really wish you would have stayed with me…”

“I will tonight...I am right now,” She gave him a soft, timid smile.

“Yeah...you are right now,” Erik bites his lower lip, “I’ve been wanting you for months now, Y/N...you heard what I said last night while I was fucking the doll?”

She nibbled on the corner of her bottom lip before shaking her head, “I don’t remember.”

Erik scoots closer, grabbing one of Y/N’s hands, “I said that I wanna make you cum.”

With a shivering inhale, Y/N’s hand in Erik’s became sweaty. 

“I’m tired of playing games when I know you’re feeling me too...I know you want me just as much as I want you. I waited for months, I’m tired of fucking around, Y/N.”

“I do want you, I just didn’t want to rush into things. I didn’t want to get my hopes up about you so damn fast but I just couldn’t help myself...Seeing you like that last night I…”

Her brown eyes blazed into Erik’s. Y/N scoots closer, her hand nervously reaching out to tug on the collar of his denim jacket, “How long have you wanted to fuck me, Erik?”

“Since the first time I laid eyes on you,” Erik stared down at her hand pulling harder, the fabric applying pressure against his neck. His smile was that of a predator spotting its prey, victory assured. Pure, dumb-founded lust was painted on her beautiful, round face. 

“Same,” She says barely above a whisper, “Oh, Erik.”

That was an invitation to pull her on his lap. Erik wrapped his arms around her plump body, his left hand coming up to palm the back of her head so that he could hold her steady while his thick tongue slipped past her lips and into her warm mouth. Y/N reached up to grasp his shoulders, her breath halting each time Erik’s tongue would graze hers. 

“Take this off,” He spoke against her lips, “I need to see all of you…”

Without hesitation, lips still pressed against his, Y/N opened her robe before shimmying it off her shoulders, letting it fall on the floor.

“Damn...this is exactly what I pictured.” 

All her curves...all that chocolate skin...everything for him to bite and lick on. 

“You looking sexy as fuck in my lap, ma,” Erik’s hands couldn’t resist reaching behind her and rubbing her sizable cheeks.

“All this ass…” He wanted nothing more than to pull all of her weight down on his dick, “You don’t know how bad I want to fuck you right now-

“Please?” She begged.

“You remember how I put this dick in that doll? I was fucking that doll like crazy wasn’t I? with all this big dick you sitting on?”

Visions of him screwing that sex doll with all of his fat dick has her more than prepared to take him right there on that couch no matter how many times it needed to be. She’d fuck him and let him put her body in different positions. Anything he wanted, anything he imagined himself doing, he can do that shit. 

“Stand up,” Erik instructed with his hands resting on Y/N’s hips. 

She stood from his lap, the sexy lingerie making his mouth water. Erik rose from his seat, taking off his denim jacket and his hoodie. With a white beater stretched across his vigorously ripped body, Erik wraps his toned, bulging biceps around Y/N’s waist, kisses long and hot-blooded while he backs her against a nearby wall. Y/N fought for oxygen between kisses, releasing her lips to inhale but it only lasted a millisecond because Erik’s hungry lips were back on hers. 

As sexy as the lingerie was on her beautiful body Erik needed to see all of her before him. Reluctantly releasing his lips from hers, Erik presses his forehead against Y/N’s, his hands trailing over the patent leather of the bra and panties she wore. The set barely covered her breasts or her ass. Heavily breathing against her cheek, Erik reached around to unclamp the bra that was struggling to hold up her DD’s. She didn’t stop him, she didn’t tell him no, she simply allowed him to pull the leather from her smooth chocolate skin. 

“They are so fucking pretty,” Erik kisses down her neck, “delicious titties baby…” his lower lip poked out when he got closer to her dark brown nipples, “I ain’t even put your titty in my mouth yet and look what you got my dick looking like…”

She heard his zipper, his jagged, labored breath tickling her nipples, “Look what I got for you…”

She took in the sight of his big black dick and at the moment she could already feel her pussy expanding to take all of him. The throbbing deep inside of her itched to feel just how much that fat dick would pound her. Y/N isn’t nowhere near experienced with big black dicks but staring at Erik’s thick pipe made her want to learn with speedy delight. sucking a dick like that she just has to get that mouthful of sperm.  She wanted to slow down, take her time and really ENJOY the sheer pleasure of licking, sucking, feeling, smelling and just making him feel the best he’s ever felt before. 

“Damn, Erik…” Y/N licks her bottom lip, “that’s a big fella.”

Erik chuckles, “can you take it though? That’s the question,” His hands came up to squeeze one of her breasts, “big ass titties...you are just perfect.” He was amazed by her sheer motherfucking sexiness. Tongue dripping spit Erik lowers his head to suck one of her nipples into his mouth. Face in between her titties Erik felt smothered in the best way the more she squirmed. Staring at them now they looked bigger than what he expected which makes the situation even better. 

Y/N stroked his dick with a twist of her wrist while Erik’s hips thrust back and forth into her hand. She took the time to memorize his length and thickness while slowly jerking him into extreme stiffness. Erik has her breasts covered in saliva the more he nibbled and sucked. 

Hissing, Erik removes his lips from her hardened nipple, “put your hands up on the wall.”

Y/N turned, her back arched with her hips propelled back against his dick. Erik got down on his knees, her ass hovering about him, and pulled down her patent leather panties. The tight leather was a struggle to get over her big ass. The panties were digging into her thick thighs and she struggled to stay arched against the wall with her titties smashed. 

“Erik,” She called to him, trying to look over her shoulder, “What are you about to do to me?”

Her timid voice has Erik’s dick pointed straight up like a skyscraper. The visual before him, her plump pussy lips peeking at him from the back with her large, wide ass...Erik couldn’t resist giving each cheek a solid slap, the sound echoing in the room as the sting reverberated in his palm, “Have you ever had this big, juicy ass properly worshipped?”

“No,” came her muffled reply as Erik spread her open and let his thick, long tongue explore her sweet curves. His hands pressed painfully into her twin globes before spreading them as far as they could go, giving himself room to taste her sensitive pussy. 

“Unh, Erik,” she whimpers. 

Erik curled his tongue into a point and dove right in while his finger circled her asshole, teasing it. She took in a sharp breath, her ass jiggling from the pressure he applied. Erik could tell that she never took any dick up her ass and he would surely be the first to introduce it to her. 

“Spread your thighs, girl,” Erik commanded, “I’m tryna eat…”

“Fuck, Erik,” Y/N felt his thumbs stroke her wet pussy lips before they parted her pussy lips. Awaiting his assault, Y/N clawed the wall with her acrylic nails. Her mouth fell open wide when she felt his tongue dip in and out of her back door. He was tongue-fucking her ass on his knees, madly slurping and getting it nice and wet. She would have never imagined a man doing that to her, EVER. 

“Oooh, Erik! Oooh shit!” 

Erik worshipped Y/N’s ass like he would never get another chance, his tongue savoring her sweetness while her pussy juices dripped. Her pussy needed attention too so Erik moved his tongue up and down from her ass to her clit while his sturdy thumbs kept her pussy lips open. 

“Ugh, Damn, girl,” Erik swallowed spit, his face shiny, “don’t know where I want my tongue first...this big ass or this fat pussy…”

“All over me, please!” 

“Let me taste that clit,” Erik’s lips sucked her clit into his mouth. His eyelids fluttered the more he savored her. Her sweet, sweet pussy compelled him to bury three of his fingers inside of her pussy. When she felt the thickness of his fingers enter her, Y/N shouted, reaching back to hold one of her hefty cheeks open. 

“Yes, yes, yes!!!” Erik heard her cry, a little louder than before as he pressed his three fingers deep into her tight tunnel. With her hips rocking back on his hand, Erik feasted on her bottom, her strikingly soft mounds against his cheeks massaging him while he coaxed her into an orgasm. 

“Yes! Erik yes! Please keep doing that! Oh God! Erik I’m cumming!!!!!!!” 

Quickly, Erik’s fingers left her pussy to spread her ass cheeks extensively, his entire mouth wrapped around her pussy as best as he could since she’s so damn fat down there. He could feel her sticky syrup coat his tongue. He could eat her ass and pussy all damn day but now he needed to be inside of her. Slow stuffing, balls deep, make her cream. That was his motto. He wanted to make her cum on his dick so damn bad. 

“Come here,” Erik barked out, picking Y/N up and carrying her to the sofa. He lays her down on her back, spreading her legs wide open for him while she leaned back on her elbows watching. Erik couldn’t wait to get his dick inside of her. The second her pussy lips parted and her tight, wet hole winked at him Erik fisted his dick, dipping his hips low before sliding inside of her. Her head fell back against the sofa, braids resting over her eyes and a steady moan escaping her mouth. 

While her head twisted from side to side, Erik watched the way his dick went in and out of her pussy. He loved the sounds her pussy made whenever he pulled his dick all the way out to his wide tip before sliding back in. She was the wettest. Each time he pulled out her juices would gush out. 

“This pussy is swallowing this big dick, girl...you ain’t tell me it was this deep...ain’t flinch at all when I got up in this fat pussy.”

“No,” She moaned.

“It’s cuz this pussy needed my dick, huh?”

“Yes,” She closed her eyes, savoring the way his curved erection bounced off her walls, “yes...yes...yes.”

“Yes yes what?” Erik asks while pounding into her on the edge of the couch, “you got my balls heavy with this nut, what’s that yes for, huh?”

“Your dick is just so big inside of me...all up in me…”

Erik threw her legs over his shoulders and rocked into her with a force that has her ass lifting off of the couch to meet his thrusts. It was like magic to her the way her body reacted to him. She grasped his biceps, her bouncing breasts hitting her chin the more he picked up speed. He would thrust fast then slow, repeating that, making her tip over the edge.

“Can I cum please?” She pleaded.

“As long as I get to cum in this pussy, girl,” Erik pulled all the way out, his eyes staring down at her stretched hole, “Can I cum in this pretty pussy?”

“Cum in your pussy, Erik.”

That was all he needed to hear. Erik angles his hips so that he could stroke her G spot with his wide tip. Y/N’s toes curled, her thighs squeezing Erik’s neck. She felt her body shaking and convulsing while his pulsating dick reached depths inside of her she didn’t know existed. 

“Oooh, I’m gonna cum,” She mumbled, mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. She hit Erik’s chest with weak blows before her heavenly pussy pulled his dick into a tight embrace. Erik growled as his glutes tensed. He could feel his veiny dick swell inside of her like he was ready to pop. Erik watched his big dick spurt thick load after thick load into her pussy. 

“Damn, Y/N, FUCK GIRL, look what you got this dick doing! Let me see all of it.”

Erik pulls out watching his jizz ooze out and on the couch. She rubbed her clit while pushing his cum out and Erik’s eyes rolled shut at the beautiful view. 

“Lift that ass up...Turn the fuck around I need some more pussy..waited too long for this...watch how I handle you girl.” 

Y/N turned around on the couch, whimpering when Erik’s hands came down on her ass hard to force her to move. As soon as she was on her stomach, Erik yanked her hips hard, pointing her ass into the air before slamming back inside of her pussy. She didn’t throw it back on him, too eager for him to do all of the work inside of her pussy. 

“Just lay there and let me take care of this pussy…”

Erik kicked off his pants, his hands slapping her ass before they grabbed hold of her plush hips so that he could bang into her. Erik watched her face, wanting to see every single reaction his fat dick gave her. He had her for sure, especially with the way she drooled on the couch. 

“Fuck yeah this pussy is good-

“Oooh-

“Yeah? You feel me digging this pussy out? Huh? This dick about to bust…”

She gasped when she felt Erik’s heavy balls hit her clit. He was pulling all the way out and slamming back inside of her with so much force her body would shake. She spaced out when he arched her back more, his hand reaching around to grab her neck from the front. 

“You ain’t going nowhere,” He spoke harshly, “You were doing so good taking my dick, baby...DON'T disappoint me.”

She heard his warning, her arms trembling the more she stayed still for him to use her pussy. 

“Think I’m playing with you? Huh?” Y/N moaned sharply, cumming on Erik’s dick again, “There you go… creaming all over this dick baby…”

“Erik,” She felt him swelling inside of her, “Erik I feel your dick! It’s stretching me!”

“That’s because I’m about to nut, stay just like that.”

“Oh, my-“

Her fat pussy lips gripped him tightly while his thick cum coated her walls again. Erik didn’t pull out, He kept thrusting until he was satisfied. She made little noises, her eyes droopy while his thick pipe covered in his white cum slowly left her pussy. His release had him shouting curse words to the ceiling in that studio. Erik’s hands left her hips, stepping away to allow her body to relax. 

He was glad he waited to have her. It was even better than what he expected. She laid back on the sofa, staring down at her pussy covered with his cum, all swollen and thoroughly beat up. 

“I can’t wait until tonight to see you, Y/N.”

She looked up at him through her lashes with her thighs still wide like she was silently telling him to get up in her some more. Bottom lip pulled tightly between her teeth, Y/N admired Erik’s cum-covered dick. 

“I wanna suck your dick,” Y/N asked but she didn’t wait for a response. Y/N was on her knees crawling to him. His glistening dick rested on her lips before she opened wide with her tongue covered in saliva, her lips drawing him in. Breathing through her nose slowly, Y/N took her time sucking more and more of Erik’s dick. 

“Shit, baby! Okay,” Erik licks his lips, “you tryna’ make me cum again, huh?”

Y/N didn’t respond to him she was all in: locked and ready to take off. The consistency in the way she sucked him even though she couldn’t take all of him...the crease in her brow and the way her head moved in sync with her warm, wet mouth made Erik moan. 

“I NEED THIS...suck daddy like you mean it.”

Y/N tried to go lower but ended up gagging, her lips pulling back so she could breathe comfortably.

“Don't worry if you can’t manage as long as you're kneeling down you will practice until you do...Ooh that’s nasty,” Erik’s mouth fell open when she went down to show his balls some attention, “you better get sloppy on this dick and stop playing.”

“Yes, Daddy,” She knew that would make him growl when she said it. 

“Got them brown sugar lips on my big black dick, mmmmm,” Erik started panting, his hands twisted in her braids, “damn...some beautiful sexy lips Unh I’m cumming baby...I’m cumming… Unh, get this nut baby…”

Erik found himself shooting off on her face because his hips jerked so frantically that his dick slipped out of her mouth. His cum hit her eyelids, trailing down to cover her cheek. Erik watched his cum drizzle down her neck, thinking about buying a ring for her after the monster head she just delivered. With an uneven breath, equally shocked by how much nut his balls produced, Y/N cleaned herself off with her fingers before doing the same to his dick. 

“Daddy didn’t even have to tell you to clean me up, such a good girl,” Erik pulled Y/N up before grabbing her neck, his fingertips applying just the right amount of pressure before pulling her close so he could taste himself off of her tongue, “You’re coming with me, no need in going back home when you were coming to see me later anyway.”

“True,” She blushed before sucking on his bottom lip, “When we get back to your place...more fucking?”

“You’ve been teasing me all these months...it’s time you make up for that shit...yeah, we’re fucking, girl...still gotta get in this ass.”

“I’d try it with you...I’m a little nervous though-

“You’re gonna enjoy it so much, trust me,” Erik gives her a reassuring smile with his dimples, “get dressed, baby girl.” 

Y/N slips away, walking to her vanity to get dressed while watching Erik do the same. Going back to his place this time around knowing that it’s going to involve more sex has beaming and while she rushed to get dressed. As he ties his Jordan’s Y/N thinks about the sex doll. She wouldn’t mind watching him fuck the doll while she sat in his recliner chair and fingered her pussy. She’d wait to ask him about it. 

“You’re ready?”

Y/N looked around at the studio. She could come by tomorrow and clean up a little.

“I’m ready,” She says while running her hand through her braids, walking forward to grab Erik’s hand. He lead the way to the front of the studio, both of them inflamed and fighting the urge to fuck again. 

@tgigoldie @soufcakmistress @chefjessypooh @chaneajoyyy @pananegra @theblulife @becincere @blaqwidow91 @fish-outta-watah @eyeknowmywrites @crowngold @njadakillthiscookie @blktinkerbell @luvanxi @sheisexcellent1 @chocolatedippedinhoney @brandithecrystalgem @dababydababydababydababy @soulfulbeauty19 @btitannaaa @sunkissedebony97 @youngblackndgifted @harleycativy @rbhp @thee-germanpeach @thadelightfulone @palmstreesallday @skylahb @bakaris-shorty @nizzle-mo @truglori @queenflaws @ljstraightnochaser @theegoldenchild @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @nickidub718 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark  @abluesforlyssa @abeautifulmindexposed @fd-writes @chasingsunlight @sickaddiktions @munteanhore @xo-goldengirl @tiava143 @33kiara@honeytoffee @asiasblackworld727 @momobaby227 @informalmelancholy @soulshinechronicles @hearteyes-for-killmonger @goddessofthundathighs @soulfxll @whazzzupmyhitta @seyven89 @lahuttor @janelledarling @shewritestheblues @fanfangal @kreolemami @thoughtsoftheantagonist @luvwitoutlimit1 @mygirlrenee @hippiesandpeacesigns @alittlejd @jaysaidhi @thewaysheis--awkward–awkward–awkward @walkrightuptothesun @shawnstacksss @theesotericqueen @mareethequeen @browngirldominion @ceeverse @therealmrsrhodes @sensitivelegend @teheeboo @yomiloo @msreshel-blog @bbygirrll05 @fahi0nanart @afteracouplepuffss @shaelyn102 @yaminax-kuss-a @lackbbaby @amyhennessyhouse @thattruckinwitch @dameshaemonique  @glittermakesmesmile @justgetitoverwith0  @notavintagecliche @pariahcolored @cydneyrenee4 @ajjiiaaahhhh @naeelyniecee @ambthegamer​ @efonteno​ @mikesteel20​ @wisenerdcreator​ @draggingstxns​ @eevolsidog​ @xoxomyaah​ @asweet-serendipity​@therealmrsmbjordan​ @ajspencer1892​ @queengodiva619 @niqui87 @quietpoeticheart @itsjustyazz @dasia21 @woah-express @bbgiirrll @backandbetter2 @megabriahall @forbeautyandlife @queenflaws @cecereads209 @queenbetter @yomiloo @daddys-baby-girl-t @lovinthemelanin @ladymac82 @ambitionwood @t3mporaa @toniilaney @iv0rysoap @sinfully-dope @lovehatecritique @chocolategirl605 @naysianaee

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The Mitchells vs. the Machines

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is up there as one of the best installments of the MCU. Sure, the action and CGI sucks, and the season finale could use a bit more polish, but there is so much more of what it does right. It brings up an engaging discussion through Karli; the bromance between Bucky and Sam is incredible; Zemo's surprisingly a riot, and U.S. Agent is a character whose inner psychology is something I would like to study. Plus, the series really dives deep into the themes of race and the realistic hesitance that comes with making a black man Captain America. It's easily an 8/10 series that is worth an in-depth discussion.

But f**k that s**t, because I'm talking about The Mitchells vs. the Machines instead!

I know it might be questionable that reviewing a movie starring a predominantly white family of idiots saving the world instead of the TV series about the powerful journey of a black man taking the mantle of an American icon...but this movie is fun, alright? And yes, I'm going to spoil it to explain how. So if you still have a Netflix account, I highly suggest you check it out when you have time.

Because, random people on the internet who most likely won't read this, this Ordinary Schmuck who writes stories and reviews and draws comics and cartoons is going to explain why The Mitchells vs. the Machines might just be my favorite film of the year (steep contest, I know).

WHAT I LIKE

The Animation: Let's get this out of the way right here and right now: If a single person ever tells you that this movie has awful animation, or the worst animation they have ever seen, just go ahead and assume that person is an idiot. Because holy hot cheese sticks, does this movie look amazing!

Say what you want about most of Sony Pictures Animation's movies, but you have to admit that they nail making a CGI movie looking like it could be in 2D. And The Mitchells vs. The Machines is the peak of that style. Every character in nearly every frame looks like they could work well if the movie was hand-drawn, and I love it. I am addicted to seeing films that look 2D with a 3D makeover because there has to be ten times the amount of effort to get that look just right, what with modeling each character in unique ways to nail that style wherein a hand-drawn film, you could just, well, draw it. Not to mention that the cell-shading and certain hand-drawn elements also add to the aesthetic.

Plus, there is so much attention to details, such as most of Katie's character model being covered in sharpie, or how you can see a hint of Eric and Deborabot 3000's drawn on faces even though their black screens are showing something else. Seriously, you can listen to any criticism this movie gets, but don't you dare let someone get away with telling you that it looks awful. It doesn't. It's incredible, and I SO wish that I could have seen it all on the big screen.

The Comedy: On top of being incredibly well-animated, this movie is also incredibly funny. Like, really funny. I shouldn't be surprised since it's made by the same people responsible for Clone High and The Lego Movie, but yeah, I found myself laughing, chuckling, and snorting with nearly every joke in the film. Not every joke works, to be fair. But because of the fast-paced humor, the bad jokes are almost immediately followed up with better ones soon after. What's even better is that the writers know when to take a break with the humor and let some surprisingly compelling drama take over. And even then, when there are jokes during the dramatic moments, they add sincerity to the scene rather than take anything away. Looking at you, The Amazing World of Gumball...I mean, I love you, but sheesh, you need to learn to let a solemn moment play out.

Anyways, the comedy is hilarious. And while I won't spoil every joke, I will go over some bits that might have gotten to me the most.

Katie Mitchell: Let's just go ahead and add Katie Mitchell to the list of characters I highly relate to on a personal level (which is getting longer by the minute, hot damn). But jokes aside, I really like Katie. Her love and desire to make movies is something I identify with, and her goal to just go to a place where she feels like she belongs is easy to understand. Trust me, if I found out there was a group of weirdos who like the same things I do and enjoy the things I make, I’d be willing to pack everything I have and go to them as fast as possible too. Plus, I feel like a lot of us can relate to a character who lives in a household where people question if our career goal is something we can make a living with. I remember two years ago when I told my aunt that I wanted to make my own animated series, and her reaction is a little too similar to Rick's when Katie showed him her movie. They mean well, but sometimes it's for the best to have a cheerleader rather than a critic, especially if that person is family.

Now, Katie isn't perfect as her enthusiasm can get a little annoying at times, and her desire to leave can be conceived as a little too harsh as well. Still, she's pretty cool and serves her role as a protagonist pretty well...also, if the movie gets a sequel, let's hope she and Jude become cannon by then. GIVE KATIE A GIRLFRIEND, DAMN IT!

Aaron Mitchell: But as great as Katie is, it's this goober that earns the reward for my favorite character. At times it looks like Aaron is nothing more than a source of comedy, but he handles some dramatic moments really well. Partial credit goes to Michael Rianda for that one. Yeah, having a child actor would have made Aaron sound more like a kid, but no other voice could have fit him better than what Michael offers as he comes across as weird but never obnoxious.

Also, let's give the writer points for making a character who is clearly neurodivergent. Yet also refraining from having him be annoying or useless to the rest of the cast. No one ever really disrespects or belittles Aaron and instead chooses to work with him rather than against him. Especially Katie, who forms a solid sibling bond with Aaron as a fellow weirdo. It's genuinely sweet to see, and I loved every minute that the writers showed that just because someone acts on a different wavelength doesn't mean they shouldn't be treated any less because of it. You get that with Katie, a little bit, but I see it much more with Aaron, for some reason. And I love him every minute, so that’s a win.

(Plus, I may or may not have had a dinosaur phase when I was younger, so go ahead and add him to the list of relatable characters too.)

Rick Mitchell: This is probably a character you will either love or hate, and I can see both sides of that argument. Because on the one hand, I really like Rick Mitchell. His motivation is clear and understandable from the first set of home videos with him and Katie, both near the beginning and the end. Sure, he messes up a lot, but he is still a man who cares deeply about his daughter, as well as his entire family. He gets to the point where he would make great sacrifices for all of them, especially Katie. Plus, it's just pleasant seeing a cartoon dad who isn't a complete idiot or overprotective regarding his daughter's love life.

However, there are times when Rick comes across as an irresponsible d**k. When he does things like smash the family's phones without telling them or giving them screwdrivers for "presents," you're either gonna find that funny or you won't. Personally, I enjoy Rick and his antics, and I have no problem with irresponsible cartoon dads. As long as they don't cross the line toward Modern-Peter Griffin territory, I've got no problem with dads like Rick, who I believe has never even got that bad. Still, some people might think differently, and I can't blame them. Because after getting great cartoon dads like Greg Universe, I can understand if some people won't be interested in characters like Rick Mitchell.

Rick’s and Katie’s relationship: Alongside the top-notch animation and gut-busting comedy, Rick and Katie's relationship is what I consider the movie's most essential asset. These two are the main characters of the film, and as such, they develop through each other. And what's crazy is that they have very conflicting goals. Katie wants to escape and be with her people, where Rich just wants one last chance to have a good memory with Katie before she leaves. To do so, they first have to understand each other. Katie has to learn why Rick is so desperate to spend time with her, and Rick has to realize why Katie is, well, Katie. What I love most about it is that they try. These two don't spend the entire movie arguing and being at each other's throats until a sudden "Oh" moment in the end. No, there are actual moments when they genuinely try to understand one another and fix their relationship. It's nice to watch, and I especially love when it cuts to Linda and Aaron celebrating each time Katie and Rick get closer to each other. When recommending this movie, I'd say come for the animation and comedy, stay for the phenomenal relationship building.

Monchi: There are probably people already comparing Monchi to Mater or the Minions due to being a comic relief with nothing else to add...but gosh dangit, do I love this little gentleman. Maybe it's because I'm a dog person, but I find Monchie to be incredibly adorable, and I will fight anybody who disrespects this king of kings. Probably not physically, 'cause I'm a wuss, but I will verbally. So WATCH IT!

“HeLlO. i Am DoG.”: Have I mentioned that this movie is funny?

Rick’s videotapes of him and Katie: And right there. Rick's motivation for everything is set in stone through a solid case of visual storytelling.

PAL: The writers do almost everything they should have with this character. PAL might not have the most creative evil plan in the world, but to me, a villain can have a generic scheme as long as they're funny. Thankfully, PAL is funny. Not only is the idea of a smartphone ruling the planet hilarious in all the right ways, but Olivia Colman delivers such a great cynical energy that the character needs. The way PAL reacts to people explaining why humans are worth living is just the best, and her flopping around in a fit of rage successfully gets to me.

If I had to nitpick, I'd say that I wish PAL had more of a meaningful resolution to her character. The movie builds up that she makes a big deal about Mark dropping her, so it feels weird that neither of them really get any actual closure with each other. I'll get more into that in the dislikes, but I wish PAL had more of a fitting end than just dying after accidentally getting dropped in a glass of water. Other than that, she's a great comedic villain for a comedic movie.

PAL MAX Robots: These guys are the funniest characters in the movie. Half of it is the bits of visual humor, while the other half comes from the solid line delivery from Beck Bennett. Especially with Bennett's and Fred Armisen's Eric and Deborahbot 3000. These two are definitely the comedic highlights, as nearly every line they say is both hilarious and kind of adorable at times. And just like with Monchi, if you dare disrespect these characters, I will fight you. Because they are funny, and I will not hear otherwise.

PAL demonstrating what it’s like to be a phone: Have I mentioned that this movie is funny?

(Don't disrespect your phones, kids. Otherwise, they'll try to take over the world.)

PAL turning off the Wi-Fi: Again, have I mentioned this movie is funny?

“I love the dog. You love the dog. We all love the dog. But at some point, you’re gonna have to eat the dog.”: It's the sick jokes that get to me the most. Everyone booing Rick afterward is just the cherry on top.

Attack of the Furbies: Have I. Mentioned. That this movie. Is funny?

Seriously, if you haven't lost your s**t during every second of this scene, then you never had to deal with the demonic entity that is a Furby. In a way, I commend you. But you also don't get to appreciate the comedic genius of all of this. So I also weirdly feel bad for you.

The Mitchells deciding how to celebrate: You don't have a real family if you spend more time arguing about how to celebrate after saving the world than you do about how to save the world. I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The PAL MAX Primes: There's not much to say about them. The PAL MAX primes look and act pretty cool, are brilliantly animated, and raise the stakes while still being funny at times. I love 'em, but I don't have much to analyze with them either.

The origin of the moose: ...I'd make the "I didn't need my heart anyway" joke, but to be honest, it's still shattered after WandaVision.

(For real, though, this is a really effective scene that establishes why Rick makes a big deal with the moose and why he might feel hurt that Katie is willing to disregard it completely)

The Theme of Technology and Social Media: There's a theme about how family is important, and working hard on making things work is worth the effort. But that's a bit too generic for my tastes, so instead, I'm gonna talk about the equally important message this movie has about technology. Because as twisted as she is, PAL makes a great point. The technology we have today helps us in a variety of ways. It's especially useful with sites like YouTube, allowing content creators like Katie to reach out and share their voices. The only issue with technology is how people use it. Take note that the main reason why the Mitchells stand a chance against PAL is by using her own tech against her. Yes, over-relying on all the advancements around us can be dangerous, but if we're smart with how we use them, we can get by just fine. This movie isn't about purging all technology like most robot apocalypse stories are. Instead, it's about using it correctly and not being helpless sheep the second the Wi-Fi gets turned off. Which might just be the most unique thing this movie has going for it story-wise (more on that later).

The Climax: The Mitchells vs. The Machines has everything that I think I climax should have. First off, it utilizes callbacks and jokes that I wouldn't have thought twice on actually coming in handy for how the Mitchells win the day. But showing that Monchi causes the robots to malfunction turns a pretty "eh" joke into a solid case of foreshadowing.

Second, everyone does something. Some characters do more than others, sure, but the fact that every Mitchell, even Monchi, has a hand in beating PAL and her robots is a great sense of writing to me. It shows that you really can't cut anyone from the main cast, as they each add value to how they are essential to the plot. Even Aaron, who arguably does the least in the climax, still manages to be the catalyst to what is easily the best scene in the movie. Speaking of which...

Linda Kicks Ass: By the way, that's the actual name on the soundtrack. I'm not even kidding. Check it.

Anyways, for the most part, Linda seemed like a decent cartoon mom. She's insanely supportive but still has the common sense to keep her foot down, like agreeing with Rick to stay safe in the dino stop the second the apocalypse starts. A pretty fun character, for sure, but nothing too noteworthy...but the second she loses her s**t, Linda Mitchell frickin' SKYROCKETS to the best-cartoon-mom territory! Believe me when I tell you that seeing her slice and dice robots like a middle-aged female Samurai Jack is as awesome as it is hilarious. Does it make sense how she can suddenly do this? No, but at the same time, who gives a s**t about common sense?! Because this moment was epic, and I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching it over and over again.

Rick Learning How to Internet...Again: I consider this the funniest moment in the movie. Trust me, the Furby scene is a close, close, CLOSE, second...but I think this scene was funnier.

The final goodbye: This is what I'm talking about when I say humor adds to the dramatic moments. The Mitchells saying "I love you" in moose is pretty funny, but it's also a sweet moment given that this is absolutely how this family of weirdos would say goodbye to each other. And, yeah, I got a little misty-eyed during this scene. Especially when Rick saw Katie pocketing the moose. That s**t just cuts deep, man.

Alex Hirsch Voices a Character: ...That's it. I look up to Alex Hirsh as everything I want to be as a creator, and the fact that his name is on this movie fills me with joy. He's also a story consultant, so that can also explain why the movie turned out as great as it did...although there are some imperfections.

WHAT I DISLIKE

Katie-vision: What's Katie-vision? Well, throughout the movie, we get to see how Katie views the world as there are these hand-drawn elements that look like effects Katie would add if she was the one who made the movie. At times it can be subtle and cute, like when this little beating heart appears when Katie is talking with Jude and her other friends. It's when the movie is in your face with Katie-vision does it get annoying. Like showing how Katie is lying about being certain she can drive up a vertical ramp or signifying what is the Rick Mitchell Special. Even if you justify that this would be how Katie would edit the movie, it still doesn't change how obnoxious these moments can be. For instance, Monchi is justified to be essential for the plot, but that doesn't mean people won't hate him...I'll still fight them if they do, but that's beside the point.

I can totally accept this being a personal issue, as I'm sure some people enjoy it. As for me, I think Katie-vision works best when used subtly instead of crudely.

The Meme humor: It's something similar here. Because some people like meme humor...but I don't. To me, it just dates your story if you reference memes even once. Now, a show, movie, or book being partially dated is nothing new. We Bare Bears, a series that I love, reference memes, apps, and social media constantly. Yet, the show still has a timeless feel to it as it doesn't rely on those references too much. The Mitchells vs. the Machines doesn't rely on memes as much either. But even then, that doesn't make a difference about how annoying that gibbon monkey joke was. Seriously, what the f**k was that? And how is THAT the joke that gets used twice!?

Underutilizing Mark Bowman: It really bothers me how this guy barely does much. I mean, Mark Bowman is the main reason that anything happens in the movie. Because he mistreated PAL, Mark acts as the catalyst for events to come. So the fact that he could have been written out the second PAL takes control doesn't make sense to me. It's worse since I could see more potential with his character through his relationship with PAL. These two could be anti-Rick and Katie, as Mark and PAL show what happens when people disrespect their family. So separating them halfway through the story, and keeping them as such, is a huge mistake as it results in neither having a proper resolution to their arcs. Like I said, Rick and Katie develop through each other, and the same could have happened with Mark and PAL. It doesn't, making it something that I can't help but feel disappointed about.

The Poseys: These are characters I feel like work better with multiple appearances. Sure, they only have the one joke about being a perfect family, but at the same time, you can make a joke like that work. Look at Yvonne from Shaun of the Dead (Which might just be my favorite movie). That's a bit-character whose only purpose is showing how better she is than Shaun despite being in an eerily similar situation. But she works well as we constantly see how great she's doing in every instance we see her. The same could be done with the Poseys, as using a similar joke for one scene is underutilizing great potential to make an already good movie into a better one.

Plus, if you're gonna shoehorn in a romance between Aaron and Abby Posey, the least you could do is have more than one scene developing that...just saying.

Katie’s and Rick’s “Oh” Moments: I want to make it clear that I actually like these scenes. They're well written and effectively emotional. My problem is that they also happen two seconds apart. There's nothing wrong with having a character realize the error of their ways through a tear-jerking moment. It's a popular tactic for a reason. And given how both Rick and Katie are the protagonists, they both need their own "oh" moment. But you gotta space them out, as it makes things easier to see the emotional manipulation that you're clearly trying to pull on the audience. They work, but putting them back to back is an issue easily solved with at least two minutes of padding, not two seconds.

Katie’s Death Fakeout: This is one of the few instances that a joke doesn't work in the movie, made even more annoying with the fact that I could see the punchline a mile away and kept thinking, "Just get to it already." I'm pretty sure no one bought this, especially when Katie didn't look like she could have gotten killed in any way after throwing PAL. It's poorly handled and proof that even the funniest comedies have a stale joke every now and again.

Nothing New is really being done here: Keep in mind that in terms of style, this movie is incredibly innovative. And here's hoping future animated projects can take notes. But narratively speaking? Yeah, there's nothing really new that this movie is offering.

A story about how technology will be the death of us? Been there.

A story about a group of idiots miraculously saving the world? Done that.

A story about a father forcing their teenager on a road trip so they can spend quality time with each other, thus ruining the teen's chance of hanging out with their girlfriend? Believe it or not, I have seen A Goofy Movie...multiple times...both as a kid and as an adult.

Now, I have no issue with a movie's plot being a bit by-the-books, and in some cases, cliche. If done effectively, and if I still have a good time, I don't think there’s much to complain about. And there isn't with The Mitchells vs. The Machines. The problem lies with that I'll forget this movie along with the dozens of others like it in a couple years. Which might just be the biggest issue any film can have.

---------------------

Overall, I'd give The Mitchells vs. the Machines a well-earned A-. It has nitpicks, sure, but it's still a blast to watch. It might not be innovative or groundbreaking as movies like the last Sony Pictures Animation movie, Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse. However, it is fun. And when the world is burning down around us, it's nice to have a fun movie that can distract us from all of it. So feel free to log in to Netflix the next time you're in the mood for a film that is great for the whole family. You won’t be disapointed

(And I will talk about The Falcon and the Winter Soldier pretty soon. I just needed to get this out of my system first.)

[rachie-neyiea]

If I was able to write every fic that I day-dreamt about I would be an actual machine have no time for anything else in my life, so I have some ideas that I’m very fond of but have zero energy to write thousands of words for. It’s head-canon time: Cabin in the Woods AU edition.

Our group of heroes? Bruce, who’s public billionaire brat persona has shoehorned him into the role of the whore. Tommy the athlete. Silver the scholar. Grace the virgin. And Brant was supposed to the the fool but he partied too hard and got to sent to the ER so the facility scrambled to replace him and managed to with Selina.

Allusions to ‘an accident’ in the alps which involved Bruce’s parents which he is still entirely suspicious about but thinks the board of directors are keeping things from him, and he’s ‘acting up’ in university to get their guard down so that when he takes over Wayne Enterprises the have no idea what’s coming.

In actual fact Thomas and Martha were chosen to be part of The Ritual in France.

The monsters are the Rouges Gallery. Of course. 

Jeremiah, who has no true name and is instead referred to as either the leader of the ‘Killer Clowns’ or slighter more fondly as ‘The Architect’ by the engineering department, is the first monster we meet and the main one we focus on. He, and everyone else held in a glass cage, are getting pretty sick of having their souls laid bare to be gawked at by people who do not deserve to look or touch (since, of course, a sin must be committed before the punishment can begin). He’s making plans of his own to bust out by very slowly requesting the parts needed to build a working, miniature model of the generator that is the closest thing which he has to a soul, which is kept in the dusty cabin basement.

Of course the generator is actually a bomb, and when he gets out he’s not even going to show mercy to the engineering department who give him tools as part of his enrichment, but they don’t need to know that.

When the time to choose their death comes Bruce is, obviously, drawn to the 3D model and blueprints. He’s never seen anything like it. He’s fascinated. It’s beautiful. He reaches out to touch it not to destroy or mock but because he’s mesmerized by it.

Jeremiah can feel the captivation. Doesn’t even lay eyes on Bruce and is instantly obsessed. Inwardly urging Bruce to do more because there has to be a certain amount of tampering before what the chosen five are doing is actually considered a sin that must be punished. 

Tommy beats him to it though via opening up a diary written by a Jonathan Crane and reading it out loud, so Scarecrow and his followers are chosen as the method of death. Jeremiah is not happy.

Scarecrow comes and Bruce is the first slated to go, but the facility didn’t do enough homework on him because Bruce only pretends to drink when he’s out partying and has actually been drinking his own non-alcoholic drinks all night and not the concoctions that the facility rigged up for them all.

Scarecrow tries to kill Bruce but Selina and Tommy both throw themselves in there too. Tommy believe that this is real and Jonathan Crane has been somehow cursed so there’s a lot of ‘you don’t have to do this’, ‘we can help you out of here’, ‘you can trust me’ talk because Tommy ALSO knows what it’s like to have an abusive bastard as a father.

Background Jonathan/Tommy, because I said so. 

Jeremiah breaks out.

Jeremiah REALLY doesn’t like the fact that there’s all this competition for Bruce around. (Bruce has dated half the people in the cabin. Bruce has kissed every person in the cabin.) Jeremiah’s REALLY fixated on getting to Bruce but Bruce, as you can imagine, thinks this intimidating man holding a knife is out to kill him so he doesn’t let himself get caught.

Somehow or another the group make it underground, like in the movie, and in the glass elevator they come face to face with either Bridgit or Ivy, who would have been the one to kill them if it were Selina who chose by committing the sin. That’s when the ‘they made us choose’ realization happens and they decide to absolutely destroy this place.

The Rouges get free. Mayhem and bloodshed ensue.

While in the facility one of the worker lets it slip that Bruce’s life would have been much different if his parents had been even half as resource as him. When he’s in the hub of the facility he sees a map with every facility in the world marked on it and, low and behold, the place where his parents met their untimely end is right there.

Jeremiah catches up with him and is finally able to make it clear, one way or another, that killing Bruce is the absolute last thing on his mind.

The ancient ones don’t rise again because Japan’s ritual is still going strong.

Bruce and his friends make a pact to get into and destroy every facility, because who the fuck are these people that they think they have the right to stand back and lead others into certain death?

The more facilities they destroy, the more monsters they set loose on the world, but that’s okay because they’re going to need all the help they can get when there are no more rituals to be completed and the ancient ones try to rise again.

[sage-nebula]

Neo: The World Ends With You - Thoughts So Far

I’m on Day 6 of Week 1 and I want to compile my thoughts so far — not in a formal post, but at least all in one place, especially since I feel that jotting down what I think / feel as I go through will help me write my review when I’m done. Spoilers under the cut, obviously — and while it should go without saying, do NOT comment on this post with spoilers from later in the game, so help me. Even if I pose a question that gets answered later on — hell, especially if I do — don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. I will find out in my own time.

With that said . . .

So obviously, I’m really enjoying it so far. You can tell that the writers / devs haven’t lost their touch despite it being thirteen years since the first game was made. You can also tell that a lot of love went into this; this isn’t something they churned out just to make money (if they thought this was a moneymaker we wouldn’t have had to wait 13 freaking years for the sequel), but rather something they really, really wanted to make. Not a total passion project, because those aren’t allowed in the world of capitalism, but there is still a lot of love there. 

That said, more specific thoughts:

THE MUSIC. It doesn’t really come as a surprise given that TWEWY’s soundtrack was phenomenal, but god, they brought it right back for this game. The remixes (“Someday”, “Three Minutes Clapping”, “Transformation”, “The One Star” etc) are all excellent, but the new tracks are phenomenal too. Tbh I’m not sure how any of the Players get any fighting done when the music makes you want to just bust a move right there in the scramble. It’s so good.

Most of the characters are great too. Of the Wicked Twisters, I think Fret is my favorite; he is pure of heart, dumb of ass, and I love that for him. I do like Rindo too, of course, and his habit of overthinking everything (since Fret has zero brain cells, Rindo has to make up for it), but him being standoffish / socially anxious and snarky makes him feel a bit like a toned down Neku, so he doesn’t catch my interest quite as much. And while I do like Nagi, the way she speaks in like . . . medieval-esque language is a bit off-putting. In particular it’s weird that Rindo didn’t tell her to knock it off with the “Lord Rindo” stuff since using such an honorific would be considered awkward / embarrassing in Japanese. I guess he’s just too socially anxious / awkward to tell her to stop, but it’s still a bit distracting.  Other than that, I’m really not a fan of Kubo (one of the Reapers) or . . . Susukichi, I think his name is? The leader of the Ruinbringers. I find them both to be pretty annoying, haha. But I love Shoka, as well as Kanon, and Motoi is a good bean, too. As for the Deep River Society . . . those nerds have issues lmao. Especially their leader. Although I can’t fault him for breaking down sobbing when he realizes that he now stands a very good chance of getting erased, which reminds me . . .

HOW ARE WE ON DAY SIX AND THE WICKED TWISTERS STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT BEING ERASED IS?? We have kind of an inverse situation where where Neku knew right away that he would get erased if he failed the missions / didn’t win the Game, but didn’t find out until later that he was dead. Here, the Wicked Twisters learn that they’re dead fairly quickly (and Fret has some realistic denial going on about it at first, though he gets over it pretty quickly), but they’re still completely in the dark about the fact that their souls will get wiped from existence if they lose despite erasure being mentioned at least a handful of times. Like I guess it was never spelled out for them, but especially as someone who played the first game about a million times, it’s a bit maddening to see them be like, “Why is he crying like his life is on the line? lol whatevs no big deal la di da!” Since the Wicked Twisters aren’t aware of the stakes, a new player wouldn’t be either, and so it rather tones down the urgency that was felt in the original game where everyone was very much aware that they were fighting for their right to exist.

Since I brought up Motoi, I want to say that I just played past the part where he reveals that he was An0ther, who is apparently Rindo’s favorite blogger / poet. I feel like this is meant to be similar to how Hanekoma was CAT, Neku’s favorite artist, but it doesn’t carry the same impact because a.) as far as we know An0ther didn’t have anything to do with how Rindo died; b.) we haven’t seen Rindo bring An0ther or his poetry up that much, much less have anything An0ther said be his entire life’s mantra; c.) we haven’t gotten to know Motoi that well either. Like we met him once before this revelation. That said I’m not sure it was supposed to have the same impact as the Hanekoma = CAT reveal, but if it was then it did fall short. (Also I saw it coming the second Motoi quoted An0ther lmao.)

Speaking of Hanekoma, WHERE IS MY MANS??? I know he has to show up at some point because if I’m not mistaken we saw him in the trailers. And if I am mistaken then he still has to show up at some point because he played a central role in the “A New Day” epilogue chapter of Final Remix, what with Coco being unable to control him and him knowing what was going on, plus he was testing Neku for something in “Another Day” and that has to be whatever is going on in this game. I’m sure he’ll come in for some big reveal later, but like, we have a new street artist in this game (MKN) with no mention of CAT as of yet, and I’m just like . . . where is he. Where is my mans. What is he doing. Bring him to me.

That said, we already got to see my #2 mans (Kariya♥) so I am happy about that at least. 

Back to my mans for a hot second: I actually erased my demo save data and started fresh to remind myself of everything when I got the game, and idk if it was in the demo or not, but regardless—at the end of the demo portion there’s this shot of the sky and then this nameless voice is like, “It’s finally starting. I hope you wake up soon. I don’t want you to miss all the action.” My current guess is that the speaker was Hanekoma, speaking to Joshua. Joshua being “asleep” would explain why the Game is as screwed up as it is right now, what with it having been going on for a year and people able to choose to play again and again and again while the rest of the Players—who tbh should also be counted as winners if they survive the week!—are trapped in limbo.

Because that’s the thing: I know that it was partially a lie to cover for the fact that Joshua’s game with Megumi was set to last three weeks, but at the end of the third week Megumi told Neku that a new rule was being put in place that wouldn’t allow repeats of the Game anymore. But even setting that aside, in the original Shibuya UG rules, anyone who survived the Game could get a wish at the end, whether that was to be brought back to life or made into a Reaper. This is why at the end of Week 1, the three winners were Neku, Shiki, and Beat. However, here the Ruinbringers are able to keep everyone trapped and they have been trapped for at least a year, given what Motoi said. It’s completely different rules and I’m sure that this has something to do with the fact that the majority of the Reapers we’ve seen so far are from Shinjuku (at least going by the spoilery trailer, and iirc it was confirmed in “A New Day” that Coco was from Shinjuku actually, but it’s been a while so I could be wrong about that).

Speaking of, has anyone noticed that the possibly-Shinjuku Reapers don’t have wings? No?

ALSO speaking of Coco, at least tangentially: Coco was the one who revived Minamimoto at the end of “A New Day”. However, he’s definitely not how I would have expected. Like despite Coco using the Taboo Noise sigil to bring him back, he’s clearly not in his Taboo form. He’s using psychs as a Player would, rather than a Reaper. And while it’s clear he’s up to some form of nonsense, it’s unclear exactly what form of nonsense he’s up to. I know that he’s here for fanservice and that him looking like Nagi’s bias from Elegant Strategy is a tongue-in-cheek nod to that, but I have too much faith in this series to think that’s all this is. I’m wondering if being revived for a second time fixed whatever screws were loose in his head before? Or if he was revived as a human Player by like, Joshua or something? (Although why Joshua would do that I have no idea. Maybe Hanekoma instead?) Hmmm . . .

Small aside, but we all know that Nagi has put herself into hundreds of thousands of yen in debt for Tomonami merch lolol RIP Nagi. (I’m also interpreting that she’s not actually older than Rindo or Fret, but she just skipped a bunch of grades. Like I feel like this might have been lost in translation a bit, and that she’s a senpai to them because she’s in uni but she’s not actually older than them. I could be wrong but that’s how I’m interpreting it right now. She just doesn’t look or act older than them.)

Oh another minor annoyance, but whether it’s due to the partial 3D environment or something else, I’m SO ANNOYED that some of the streets aren’t connecting as they should now. Like, how going in the direction of Molco spits you out at Spain Hill or 104 or whatever? I don’t remember exactly what area it was, but it wasn’t Molco!! I’m sure if I hadn’t played the original a million times like a loser this wouldn’t be such a big deal to me, but I have and it is lmao. Also, they’ve had the Shibuya Underpass / Cat Street blocked off this whole time and I’m like :( let me go to Cat Street :( let me see my mans

I’m relieved that Ken Doi is still making delicious food and I look forward to his ramen curry fusion. I was really upset about RamenDon being gone at first but as long as Ken Doi is still around I am happy.

My dinner just arrived so this is all I have to say for now, but I will update more as I play more. I love this game and I’m so happy to be back in Shibuya, even if the characters pronounce it wrong sometimes (saying “ShiBOOya” like pls . . . you are supposed to be Japanese . . . get it right . . .)