#Also Rowan's there too but only like the side of him lol

[leiawritesstories]

Impossible

Rowaelin Month 2024, Day 13: Finding Out They're Pregnant @rowaelinscourt

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: medical talk, hospitals, mentions of infertility, vague depictions of medical tests

A/N: this is a little bit self-indulgent but also therapeutic--i had surgery for endometriosis this past summer, and part of recovering from that was how tf do i process all the implications of this diagnosis??? well...writing helps. anyway. Aelin has endo in this fic, but things go very different for her than they did for me lol.

Enjoy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was still dark outside when Aelin’s alarm went off, the cheery tune she’d chosen breaking through her restless scraps of dreaming. With a mild groan, she rolled over and tapped the screen of her phone multiple times before she managed to turn off the alarm, eliciting a sleepy chuckle from her husband behind her. She poked him in the shoulder and stuffed her pillow over her head. 

“Five more minutes,” she mumbled. “Got another alarm.” 

Rowan tugged the pillow off of her head and fluffed it up. “Mmmkay, go back to sleep, love.” He tugged her back against his side, and she closed her eyes. 

And her alarm went off five minutes later. She grumbled at it, but she carefully extricated herself from Rowan’s embrace, turned off her alarm, and pushed herself out of bed. Leaving a kiss on his forehead, she tucked the blankets up and went quietly into the bathroom. A clean set of clothes already sat on the shelf beside the shower, and she smiled softly at her husband’s quiet thoughtfulness. She went through the motions of the shower rhythmically, her body working on muscle memory due to the too-early hour, making sure to scrub extra well with the antibacterial soap. Finished, she dried off and put on the clean, comfortable clothes Rowan had set out—sweatpants and a loose shirt. 

He was awake and half-dressed when she emerged from the bathroom, and his glasses sat crooked on his nose. She chuckled softly and straightened the wire frames, and he caught her wrists and tugged her gently into his lap. “Hey.” Fingers threaded through her loose, damp hair. “Want braids?” 

“Yeah.” She passed him her brush and two hair ties, and he carefully wove the blonde waves into twin braids down past her shoulder blades. “Someday, our future daughter is going to only want you to do her hair for school.” 

“Biggest win ever.” His voice, like hers, held a touch of muted yearning, weighed down by the hopelessness of two years trying to conceive without success. Aelin had been diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis in her last year of college, while they were engaged, and she had put off surgery until her doctor finally said that the excision procedure was the best thing she could do for her chance of having a family. 

“I’m nervous,” she admitted. “I know Dr. T said this is the best thing for us right now, but I…I almost don’t want to hope.” 

“Fireheart,” Rowan breathed, standing so he could wrap his wife in his embrace. “It’s going to be okay, my love. I have more than enough hope for both of us.” 

“I love you,” she whispered. 

She held his hand the whole way to the hospital. 

When they arrived, the receptionist waved them towards the procedure center waiting area, and they sat down and waited in the early-morning quiet. Only a few others were there, including an older couple, a middle-aged woman, a half-asleep man, and a woman about Aelin’s age sitting with her mother. 

“Galathynius?” Aelin stood up and went to the desk, and she gave the receptionist her information. It only took a few minutes, and soon she was back in her seat with a green hospital bracelet around her right wrist and a clipboard with some papers on it. She handed Rowan the slip of paper with her patient information and went to work on the few forms. It was only a short while before a nurse with a softly lined face walked into the waiting area and called for Aelin, and she squeezed Rowan’s hand as she stood up. 

“I’ll see you soon,” she promised, and she followed the nurse through the double doors into the pre-procedure area. They walked down a quiet, gray-tiled hallway, the faint scent of disinfectant lingering in the sterile air. 

The nurse—her nametag read Philippa—stopped by a restroom door. “First question, Aelin.” She held out a clear plastic cup. “Did you remember to come with a full bladder?” 

“I did.” Aelin smiled. “Almost like I’ve had practice with this kind of thing.” 

Philippa chuckled. “Okay then, I don’t need to give you instructions. Go ahead, and when you’re done, I’ll be at the desk over there.” She gestured. “Take your time.” 

Aelin went into the bathroom and closed the door. Pregnancy screening was required as part of the pre-procedure preparations, and it was almost too familiar, almost too easy, to take care of the urine sample and close up the plastic cup. So many tests flickered before her eyes, so many single lines, so many negative results. The only thing that gave her any hope was that Dr. Yrene was firmly convinced that this surgery would improve her chances of conceiving, since the endometriosis lesions would no longer be there to interfere with things. She handed Philippa the cup and followed her down to a small, clean room, where a hospital gown, cap, and socks sat on the bed beside a plastic sack and a sleeve of chlorhexidine wipes. 

“You know what to do, I’m sure, but I still have to give you the rundown.” Philippa let Aelin take a seat in the chair across from the bed and wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her right arm. “Wash with the wipes and change into the gown, blah blah blah, and your nurse will come in to get you all hooked up and ready to go.” She checked the blood pressure reading and jotted it down. “Oh, and if there’s anything else we need you to do, your nurse will let you know. Looks like you’ll have Sorscha, and she’s wonderful.” 

“Thank you,” Aelin murmured, giving the older woman a grateful smile as she left the room and closed the door. She had just finished getting herself into the gown and bright yellow socks when there was a rapping on the door and a woman of about her own age with soft caramel skin and a warm smile cracked open the door and poked her head into the room. 

“Aelin, right?” 

“That’s me.” Aelin sat down against the pillows. “Right on time.” 

“I’m Sorscha.” The nurse came into the room. “I’m sorry to disturb you before you might be ready, but your pregnancy screening came back positive.” 

The world around Aelin went silent. 

She shook her head slowly, bringing herself back into the present. “I…what?” Her breath hitched, shock creeping up her throat, and she clasped her hands together in front of her stomach. “It has to be a false positive; there’s not a chance I’m actually…” Pregnant. The word she couldn’t let herself say. 

Sorscha looked down at her clipboard, flipped a few papers. “Would you like to take a digital test by yourself? It could be a false positive, and we do need to be absolutely sure of the result because you’re scheduled to go under general anesthesia.” 

Aelin nodded. “Yes, please. I do want to take another test.” 

“Got it.” Sorscha walked her back to the bathroom and grabbed a digital test from the nurse’s station. She handed the box to Aelin and let her go into the bathroom alone. “Bring it on out when you’re done, okay? There is a possibility that we might have to do an ultrasound if you think you’ve had a false positive, but that’s easy to do.” She squeezed Aelin’s trembling hand. “You’re going to be okay, Aelin.” 

“Okay.” More hesitantly than before, Aelin went into the bathroom, locked the door, sat down, and took the pregnancy test out of the box. She went through the motions robotically, tucked the test back into the cap, and turned it over while she waited. Questions spun around her head at the speed of light, but she pushed them away, weighing them down with the strength of her doubt. She knew her ovulation window, and she’d had her period regularly. It just…it wasn’t possible. 

The timer pinged, and Aelin picked up the test, turned it over, and read the single line of text displayed on the tiny gray screen. And her whole body trembled, shaken by the force of hope that crashed into her as she read that second test. 

Pregnant. 3+. 

Shakily, she walked out and wordlessly handed the test to Sorscha, who took one look at it and helped Aelin sit down in the nearest chair. “You’re going to be okay,” she said again, reassuring Aelin as the tears finally broke free and spilled down her face. 

“I—” A great shuddering sob wrenched Aelin’s shoulders, and she just let her body loose to the tide of overpowering shock and disbelief and wonder and worry. “I think I’m dreaming,” she choked out, her words broken with tears. “It’s been two years; I didn’t think it was possible.” She wiped her eyes. “God, I’m sorry, here you are just trying to do your job and I’ve turned into a hot mess express in front of everyone.” She sniffled. 

Sorscha gave her a hug, and Aelin leaned into the comforting gesture. “How about we go back to your pre-op room and talk about next steps?” 

“Okay.” Aelin followed Sorscha back to the room, and she sat down on the bed while the nurse pulled up her charts on the computer. “So…what now?” 

“Well, the main thing is that you won’t be able to have the surgery that you were scheduled for, but that’s a very good thing because you’re pregnant.” Sorscha clicked through a few things. “I’ve paged your doctor, and she should be in soon to discuss what she wants you to do, but my suspicion is that she’ll order an immediate ultrasound to check on things and maybe have you do some blood tests. It’s convenient that you’re in the hospital, because you don’t have to go anywhere.” 

Aelin laughed softly, flicking stray tears away from her face. “Okay.” 

Right on cue, there was another knock on the door, and Dr. Yrene Towers came in, her copper curls tied back into a bun. “Well hello, Aelin! Seems like today might not go exactly as we planned.” 

“That’s one way to say it,” Aelin agreed. 

The doctor looked over at the charts that Sorscha had pulled up. “Okay, Aelin, I’d like for you to go up to the imaging clinic and get an ultrasound done.” She stepped over to the computer and rapidly typed up an order that she sent to the imaging center. “Since a surgeon ordered it, they’ll be able to do it right away, and this will either confirm your pregnancy for certain or prove that you had false positives. In the first case, we’ll turn to prenatal care, and in the second, we can go ahead with surgery. How does that sound?” 

“Sounds great.” Aelin glanced down at herself. “Should I change?” 

“Actually, it might be easier if you kept the gown on for now, since they’ll probably want to do an internal ultrasound.” Dr. Yrene looked over at Sorscha. “Can you take her to imaging, Sorscha?” 

“Of course.” 

“Perfect.” 

Sorscha slipped out of the room and came back a few minutes later with a wheelchair, and she got Aelin settled and took her down the hallways and up an elevator to the fourth floor, where the imaging clinic was located. She spoke briefly to the receptionist and took Aelin into the clinic, bringing her into a softly-lit room. An ultrasound tech was waiting, Aelin’s order pulled up on her screen. She conferred briefly with Sorscha and helped Aelin get situated on the exam bed. 

After a brief explanation and demonstration of the ultrasound probe, the tech started the scan, and it was only a few minutes before Aelin looked over at the screen opposite her and saw a teeny tiny baby moving gently around inside of her uterus. 

The tears welled up again, and she didn’t stop them. 

“Congratulations,” the tech murmured, and she clicked away at the ultrasound machine, making notes and recording measurements. Aelin stared at the image of the tiny baby, overcome by an emotion so strong she didn’t have the proper words for it, and she was surprised when the tech finished the exam and asked her if she wanted prints of the images. 

Sorscha came back and took Aelin back down to the pre-procedure area, and she found herself back in the exam room with her ultrasounds, waiting for Yrene. The doctor brought in her own set of Aelin’s ultrasounds, and she was beaming when she came into the room. 

“I’m so happy for you and your husband,” she said. “He doesn’t know yet, of course, but when we bring him back, you’ll be able to tell him all about it. Did you want to wait for him to discuss prenatal care, or would you like to talk about the details with me first?” 

“Tell me first.” Aelin stroked her thumb over the black-and-white images. “I want to know how far I am and why the heck I didn’t know.” 

Yrene chuckled. “Well, according to the way things are measuring and the dates you’ve tracked for ovulation, you are twelve and a half weeks, almost out of the first trimester.” She pointed to part of one image. “Now, the reason you didn’t know is probably partially due to your endometriosis giving you false periods and partially because, as you see here, you have an anterior placenta, which means that the placenta is in the front of the uterus. So, you might not show any bump until later in pregnancy, and it will probably not be quite as big as you might expect.” She ran through a list of more details, pointing out relevant things on the ultrasounds. “All right, then, I think we’re ready to bring your husband back. Is there anything else you want to ask me?” 

“Could you have them do the blood draw before you bring Rowan back? I want to have it all taken care of before he sees me.” 

“Of course.” Yrene spoke quietly to Sorscha, and when the blood draw was done and Aelin had a small bandage in the crook of her elbow, both the nurse and the doctor left the room. It was Yrene who walked in shortly later with Rowan, and she grinned at Aelin as she left the two of them alone. 

“Hey, Fireheart.” Rowan’s brows furrowed in confusion as he looked around the room. “Is something wrong?” 

She shook her head. “Not at all.” 

“But you’re…” 

“I know.” She looked down at herself, still in the hospital gown but not hooked up to IVs and monitors like he’d expected her to be. “They can’t do the surgery right now, Rowan.” Her throat thickened, and she looked up at her husband with tears gleaming in her eyes. “Because I’m pregnant.” 

“What?!” He staggered backwards, his body going nearly boneless as he collapsed into the chair, shock and hope washing over his face. 

Aelin handed him the ultrasound photos, watched the joy brighten his features as he drank in the sight of their tiny baby cradled inside of her. “Twelve and a half weeks, and I didn’t believe the tests until I saw the ultrasound.”

“Fireheart,” he breathed, standing so he could go to her and wrap her in his loving arms. His tears dropped into her hair, but she ignored them, just as he ignored how her tears blotched his shirt. “This…I think this is the best thing that could have happened.” 

She chuckled through her tears. “Almost—I can’t have the surgery until after I give birth, but this is…definitely something we both hoped for.” 

“Yeah.” So gently, his thumb swept the tears from her cheeks. “And twelve weeks?”

“Yeah.” Grinning, she lifted his slack jaw back into place. “Dr. Yrene will talk to both of us about where we go from here.” He nodded, and she let him sit down on the bed beside her and loop his arm around her waist, his strength always her rock. The doctor walked back in and beamed at both of them, and she sat down and gave them a whole list of prenatal instructions. 

“But really, most of all, you know what works best for you and your health,” she concluded. “I like to tell my patients not to get too obsessed with the mommy books and social media mom advice, but gods know I can’t control that. I’ll see you in a few weeks, okay?” 

“Thank you so much.” Aelin impulsively hugged her doctor. After Yrene left, she turned back to Rowan, and she brushed the stray tears off of his chin. “It’s good news, love. It’s such good news.” 

“I know.” He passed her clothes to her, and she changed out of the hospital gown. A nurse came back to walk them out of the hospital, and they left with a completely different set of instructions than they’d expected when they arrived only a couple of hours earlier. 

 An entirely different outcome, but a miracle nonetheless.

~~~

TAGS:

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@mariaofdoranelle

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

@renxzs

@anarchiii

@fauna-flora11

@cynthiesjmxazrielslover

[danikamariewrites]

Hello there saw you wanted some requests for Gavriel so here it is, could you right something with a reader who loves horse back riding and often goes alone to explore the woods for fun or just to decompress after a long week, but on one of these rides reader gets ambushed and when they dont come home Gavriel knows somthing is wrong and eventually finds them( if you could also add the Cadre helping Gavriel find reader).

Hope this request finds you in good health happy writing!

Light in the Dark

Gavriel x reader

A/n: I added Aedion as part of the Cadre lol. I love the relationship between Gav and Fenrys and imagine that he and Aedion would be like brothers so I threw that in there too. Thank you for the request anon!

Warnings: angst, fluff, and unedited lol

You love going horseback riding through Oakwald Forest. The fresh air helps you think and calm your anxieties from the day. Sometimes Gavriel would go with you as a silent companion. Sometimes he’d walk beside you in his lion form. He could feel when you were stressed through the bond and reminds you to go on rides.

He always encouraged you to take breaks, saying you wouldn’t get good work done if you couldn’t focus. And as always, he was right. Throwing your pen down on your desk you stand and stretch. You had been working for too long and policies have started blending together.

You tug on the bond to get Gavriel’s attention, sending a message to tell him you were going for a ride. He flooded the bond with love. You could distantly hear him say, “Be careful, my heart. I’ll see you soon.”

Approaching your horse’s stall you heard Clara huff, scrapping her hoof against the hay that lines her stall. Peeking over the door you smile at her. “Hi girl, I brought you a treat.” You hold out an apple in the palm of your hand that Clara chomps down on immediately.

While she’s busy with her snack you start to brush Clara’s golden mane. She’s so beautiful, you could just stay here and brush her silky hair. The stable boys always insist on prepping her for rides but you like doing it yourself. It makes you feel like you did something productive.

Clara was a gift from Gavriel when you first started working in Aelin’s court. She’s well taken care of in the stables at the castle. And you love that you get to visit her whenever you want.

Strapping the saddle on her back you lead Clara out of the barn to the courtyard. Mounting her you lightly dig your heels into her sides to get her moving. Starting off at a walk you head off for Oakwald.

An hour into your ride you pull on Clara’s reigns bringing her to a stop. You look around confused. You should be at the lake by now. Where are you? Clara knows where she’s going, so why were you lost? You slip off the saddle to look around for landmarks that might tell you where you are.

A groan that sounded like a tree breaking echoed through the small space. You covered your ears waiting for it to be over. Darkness rolled in above the tree and the wind howled. Clara tensed, throwing her head back letting out a neigh that was practically a scream. She turned on her hind legs and started booking it out of the forest.

“Clara! No! Come back!” You start running after her until an invisible force hits you square in the chest knocking you to the ground. Gasping for breath you sit up on your knees. You whip your head around wildly looking for the source of your attacker.

A misty dark mass takes shape in front of you. It’s only discernible feature two white glowing eyes. Your eyes go wide, watching the darkness swirl in and out. You feel frozen. The darkness moves forming an arm, extending it toward you. Fingers separate and close around your throat. A chill runs through your body before your vision blurs and you fall into a deep sleep.

——

As Gavriel’s meeting with Rowan and his advisors, he pulls on the bond. It’s quite on your end. He tugs harder and floods the bond with concern and love. No response again. Worry takes over his features as he leans back in his chair, Gavriel’s knuckles turn white from how hard he’s clenching his knuckles.

He jumps a little at the feeling of Rowan’s hand on his shoulder. “What is it?” His tone hushed as the rest of the Cadre file in. “It’s y/n. She’s there but…I can’t feel her.” Rowan bites his lip in thought, a small frown forming.

Lorcan sits on Gavriel’s other side. “I have a bad feeling. Y/n never does this.”

“Do you want to ask if anyone in the stables has seen her?” “Please, thank you Fenrys.” The white wolf nods, leaving the room at a hurried pace. He’s like a son to Gavriel, meaning that he’s very protective of you. Aedion and Fenrys were the first two people Gavriel introduced you too. He knew both would go to the ends of the earth to protect you. You were growing to be a mother-figure for both of them so gods forbid any harm come to you.

While waiting for Fenrys to return Rowan and Lorcan talk him through where you could possibly be. He lists them all, talking through the steps you take and what you like to do.

Taking a break, Gavriel looks out the window and notices the late afternoon sun. It’ll be dark in a few hours. He wouldn’t be able to do anything if you weren’t home for dinner. He’s considering going out in his lion form to search for you when Fenrys comes barging back into the meeting room.

The young pups face is wild with rage and worry. “No one has seen her. And Clara isn’t in her stall.” He growls out. The three males turn to Gavriel, waiting for orders. Aedion comes flying into the room seconds later, slightly panting, his chest moving quickly. He could smell the fear and anger rolling of Fenrys as he ran through the castle.

“What’s going on? I saw Fenrys running and knew something was wrong.” “Y/n is missing. We don’t know where she is and no one has seen her.” Aedion’s eyes meet his father’s. Worry simmering in those Ashryver blue-greens. He stands straight, his hands clasped behind his back. “What do you want us to do dad?”

“Follow me.” He said storming out of the room and down to the stables. The Cadre followed, ready to follow his command.

The plan is to split up to search different sections of Oakwald that you like to explore. Lorcan and Aedion mounted their horses and headed east. Rowan transformed into a hawk to look overhead and covering as much ground as possible. Fenrys transformed into a wolf and headed west while Gavriel headed north to the lake.

He didn’t transform yet, he was just focused on getting as far as he could to find you. Gavriel squinted as he approached a clearing. A wall of darkness between trees separated a section from the rest of the forest. He heard rustling from all sides and drew his sword.

Rowan landed first, then Lorcan and Aedion emerged, and then Fenrys holding the reins of your horse. “Clara?” He whispered, reaching out to stroke her snout. “I found her wandering then she noticed me and pulled me back here.”

“My shadows found the wall a half mile that way. I sent them in to try and find her.” Gavriel felt the blood leave his face. His eyes went wide as he turned back to the swirling mass. Reaching out a reluctant hand, Gavriel touched the darkness. He expected resistance but his hand fell through. Stumbling a little he righted himself, taking a deep breath he formulated a new plan.

The bond was glowing making his protective fae instincts kick in. His mate was in danger and he had to go in there.

“Gavriel,” Rowan says cautiously. Before they could talk Gavriel out of his new plan he leapt into the darkness. Without thinking Fenrys and Aedion followed, leaving Rowan and Lorcan to keep watch.

Fenrys and Aedion flank Gavriel, drawing their own swords. “We stick together.” Gavriel says as he steps further into the woods. It feels like hours before there’s any sign of you. Gavriel sniffs the air picking up your scent.

He starts running until he’s skidding to a stop. Dropping to his knees Gavriel pulls you into his arms from your spot in the brush. He presses his ear to your chest to make sure your heart is still beating. The bond humming with joy at the fact you were reunited. Gavriel’s only focus now is to get you back to the castle.

——

When you came to your head was pounding, your vision swimming in and out. You let out a groan and you hear Gavriel scramble to sit on the edge of the bed. “My heart, are you alright? Can I get you anything?” “Water,” you croak out. He moves to grab the glass of water from the bedside table.

Helping you up Gavriel holds the glass to your lips. You gulp the water down like you’d never have any again. Letting the glass go you slump into Gavriel’s side.

“What happened?” Gavriel lays you back down, fluffing your pillows. “We aren’t exactly sure. Lorcan and Rowan found that phantom-thing and chased it down. They lost it but the guards are on the look out for it and Aelin has the little folk keeping their eyes out too. The healers checked you out and your ok, just cold for a while which scared me.”

You gave him a small smile, bringing your hand to cup his face. “I’m sorry I scared you.” “Hey, you don’t need to apologize. I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.” “But you did find me. And brought me home, like you always do.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, “Yeah, and I will for the rest of our lives.” You pull him closer to you for a kiss. You break apart at a soft knock on the door. Gavriel sighs, tilting his head back in annoyance. You giggle at him. “Fenrys and Aedion want to see you. They’ve been worried about you and want to see you.” You let out a small aww.

When you and Gavriel first started dating you jokingly called and treated Aedion and Fenrys sons. You are older than both of them so they viewed you as a mother figure, always coming to you for advice over Gavriel and hanging out with you when he was out on missions.

When you accepted the mating bond you asked Aedion if he would be ok with you officially adopting him, even though he’s an adult, you just wanted him to know that he was part of your family. Since the bond the two boys have been very protective of you.

“Let my boys in.” You sit up as Gavriel begrudgingly opens the door. You heard him give them a stern warning before they entered quieter than usual. “Hi y/n.” “Hi boys. Come, sit with me.” You pat the bed and they happily jump up.

Gavriel slides in next to you, a gentle arm, wrapping around your shoulder. You love moments like these where your family is together and safe. You squeeze Gavriel’s hand as a thank you. For bringing you home and always looking out for you.

[mariaofdoranelle]

Look at Us Now - Ch. 1

Fic masterlist

Oh, hi, guys! Welcome to my new hyper fixation!! *fireworks* *champagne glasses* *me smiling like a maniac*

I really hope you like this new au! My other ones are still in progress, I’m just really excited about this lol

Warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking, mentions of sketchy cigars, mentions of a fistfight, mentions of a sprained ankle, promises of smutty times

Words: 3,3k

This party was falling apart. Literally.

Uncle Orlon thought it was a good idea to bring Aelin to this year's Aviator's Ball, so she could meet her future bosses with a little less pressure. At first, it was all fancy uniforms, expensive drinks and small talk. Now that it was past midnight, some of the older officers with the highest ranks had left—Like Orlon and Darrow—, a drunk major knocked down a massive flower arrangement, and the guy Aelin was flirting with had offered her a very sketchy-looking cigar, which she politely declined.

When two lieutenants started a fistfight, Aelin knew it was time to go.

She speed walked through the crowd of people, and even bumped her shoulder against the party planner's, who was going toward the brawl. The poor girl.

When she finally stepped outside, it felt like she could finally breathe.

"Staying out of trouble?" A deep voice asked her. Aelin looked around until she found an officer leaning on the side of the stairs that led to the garden. With his face lit up by the moonlight and eyes sparkling as they studied each other, he was breathtaking. Or at least that was Aelin's first thought when she saw him.

Aelin walked towards him. Staying out of trouble was Uncle Orlon's only request, but she also didn't want to look bad in front of her future bosses and future coworkers. That sounded like a suicide mission.

"Seems like that's what you're doing."

The hot officer chuckled. "Turns out being locked up becomes really easy when you're in the military. Specially when you make yourself some unruly friends."

"Have you ever been to the guardhouse?"

"Fuck, no."

She leaned against the wall on his side and shook his hand. "I'm Aelin."

"Rowan."

Turning fully towards him, she flipped her hair back a little to expose her shoulders and cleavage. "It's really hot in here, isn't it?"

Rowan got sidetracked by her exposed skin for a millisecond, then his eyes snapped back to hers. "You think so?"

"I know so, and I think it's because of—"

"Global warming, I know. God, this city gets hotter each year."

"What?"

He tilted his head. "You don't agree? This city's weather is hell."

Aelin clamped her lips together and tried not to laugh, even though her shoulders were shaking already. "I was going to land a pickup line, Rowan."

"Oh." He blushed, and it was the most adorable thing. "I thought we were talking about carbon monoxide."

Aelin chuckled. "Well, you ruined my pickup line now."

"My roommate teaches me a lot of those, but I won't use them."

"Why?"

Rowan leaned sideways on the wall and smirked. "Because I'm not trying to pick you up, I'm feeling like pinning you down instead."

She looked up, gaping. Aelin could kill that blunt, sassy grin of his. Or kiss it. God, she really wanted to kiss him now. Since he noticed her minutes ago, actually.

It was beautiful, how that smirk melted as his eyes darkened. The fabric of his uniform under her fingertips and Aelin's hands going up until they reached the lapels and clenched.

With both hands on her waist, Rowan was already one breath away from her when he closed their lips together with small, tentative brushes. At least until Aelin closed her arms around his neck and almost crushed their faces together, deepening the kiss.

His hands were everywhere. Her hips, her waist, toying with the straps of her dress. All that clashing and flicking and grabbing was making her heartbeat go wild. When it became too much, Rowan grabbed her upper arms and mentioned to lean away, but Aelin gently bit his lower lip to stop him.

Stay here, she conveyed.

He gave her small, gentle kisses and rested his forehead against hers, both heavily breathing against each other.

"You're not someone's wife, right?"

"What?" she breathed. Aelin's mind was still foggy from the kiss, she must've heard the wrong thing.

He swallowed and slid his hand down her arms, squeezing her fingers at the end. "That's why Fenrys got into a fistfight at the party. He made out with another officer's wife."

Aelin leaned away to properly look at his face, trying to understand what was going on. First, who the hell is Fenrys? Second, did he just stop their kiss to ask if she was married? Because he was avoiding a fistfight?

She sighed. You know what, that was fair.

Shaking her head, Aelin wiggled all her ringless fingers.

His eyes assessed her lack of uniform. "Someone's daughter, then. I think that's even worse."

A troublesome smirk was her only answer. Well, she was someone's great-niece, but it became almost the same if she considered Orlon raised Aelin since she was eight.

Looking up, Rowan cursed under his breath. Probably calculating his chances of being punished for this if her date—Brigadier Galathynius, not that he knew it—discovered. Proving her theory right, he asked, "They outrank me, right?"

Aelin raised her eyebrows. "You want to fuck me or not?"

"What?" His eyes widened, then he flinched. "Fuck, sorry, babe." He trailed kisses from her jaw to her lips, tugging her closer by the waist.

She hummed. That was much better.

"Do you want to leave before this party burns itself to the ground?" He whispered in her ear.

She chuckled. "Sure."

They were silently walking wherever he was leading her. One-night stands were so awkward sometimes, but Aelin was feeling good about this one. There was something comforting about Rowan, but she was failing to point what exactly. At one point, their hands accidentally grazed, but he kept them there and slowly intertwined their fingers.

Aelin hid a grimace when she saw his car, though. "I live in the village." She pointed in the direction of one of the military villages they had close by. "We can go by foot."

"You think I'd drink in front of all my bosses?"

He had a good point. It seemed like he was the only officer who cared, though. She had no idea how he understood her concerns so quickly, but Aelin didn't want to think too hard on this.

"I thought you should know I just moved in and my house is... lacking." He scratched the back of his head. "If you don't mind."

"Oh." She tilted her head. "We can go to my place, if you think that's better."

His shoulders dropped in relief. "You're sure it won't cause trouble?"

"I know my way around those security cameras." Aelin waved him off and leaned her side on his car. "But I still need to know what's lacking in your house."

Rowan's cheeks went crimson in a heartbeat. "I have a bed, it just hasn't arrived yet."

Aelin started cackling, her body trembling with laughter as he stared at her with the corners of his lips tugging up.

"I physically have a matteress, though!" He yelled over her laughter and opened the car, "And a great wall."

Things got quieter inside the car, so it was Aelin's cue to update her boyfriend, who was a little back and forth between Doranelle and Rifthold these days. He never told her about his one-night stands, which she didn't mind, but it felt wrong to sleep with someone without telling him.

Aelin: found myself a hot officer for the night

Aelin: we're going to my place

Dorian: how hot is he

Aelin: 8,5 maybe?

Such a horrendous lie. Aelin never graded her boy toys above 9 because she felt better if only her actual boyfriend was a 10. Truth was, if Dorian is a 10, Rowan is at least a 12. Actually, he was so handsome it made a lot of sense grading him above maximum score.

Dorian: nice

Dorian: have fun babe x

Rowan cleared his throat when they arrived at the village. Quickly tucking her phone back inside her purse, Aelin gave the directions of her house and made him park two houses before.

They silently walked together, until she stopped him on the border between her house and the neighbor's.

"I'm assuming you don't want to get caught by the cameras, since you're so scared of my uncle."

His eyes sparkled now that she satisfied his curiosity. Or maybe made it worse. There was no way to know. "An uncle, then." Rowan raised his eyebrows. "I'm not scared of him, but it would be nice if you could assure me he won't put me in the guardhouse for this."

Aelin snorted. Orlon couldn't hurt a fly if he wanted to, and even Darrow was a huge softie inside. But just the thought of sneaking out a little with her hot officer sent a thrill down her spine, so she kept her mouth shut.

"This wall we're in, it's a blind spot." When Aelin looked at Rowan, he was the most focused she'd seen tonight. An airman ready for battle. "We'll follow that path until we reach the porch, then we climb on the first window. It's my cousin's room, but he doesn't live here anymore. Then I'll check if the coast is clear, and my room is the one right next to it. Got it?"

Rowan nodded, eyes still calculating their path.

"It's the only way to get inside without getting caught on camera," Aelin added.

"This sounds like my training."

Aelin made eye contact, her chest a little more thrusted out than before. "Is the reward as good?"

"Not really, no," he muttered, his eyes on her lips.

"Well, you'll have to work for it, Officer," she said before tugging his arm towards the low fence they needed to climb.

~~

From the moment Aelin decided she wanted to become a doctor, she knew she'd work at the Air Force General Hospital.

This was the place she came to get her first casket when she was nine, after falling from her rollerskates. The place Aelin reached for when she got a little too drunk at seventeen, and made Aedion flirt with the doctor so she wouldn't snitch on them to Uncle Orlon. She was comfortable there. It felt familiar.

During those early daydreams about her own life, Aelin never thought about the moments she'd wish she worked somewhere else, though. They were nothing more than fleeting thoughts, she loved her job. But they still happened on days like this.

When Aelin opened the X-ray images on her computer, the boy's ankle didn't seem to be broken. One small blessing.

His eyes went wide when she told him so. "But it feels like it is."

Aelin gave him a sympathetic smile. "It's just a sprain, but I'll prescribe you some painkillers and—"

"Good, now we can go back to training," his instructor interrupted.

A death glare was Aelin's only response before she continued, "And I need you to rest that feet for two days—"

"Absolutely not!" The unwanted instructor cut in again, making the boy freeze on his seat. "What's the point of painkillers if he can't even exercise?"

"Captain Whitethorn," she hissed, "I believe I am the doctor here."

He slowly turned to that terrified boy. "Do you mind giving the doctor and I a moment to speak?"

"No." Aelin got up before he could. "Captain Whitethorn and I can talk in another room." She pointed at his swollen ankle. "You rest that feet."

Rowan followed her to an empty room two doors down, and they closed the door, it was like... It was like every other day, actually.

"You." He pointed a finger at her. "Do not question my authority in front of my students, Lieutenant."

"And you." She pointed a finger back. "Do not question my authorithy as a doctor in front of my patients, asshole."

"I was not trying to—"

"Yes, you were!" Aelin screamed this time. "Every day, you question what, when, how—"

"Well, maybe I wouldn't need to question if you just—"

"If I just what?" She opened her arms, tired of this. "If I just acted exactly like you?"

Rowan just stared at her with that intense look of his.

Aelin took a deep breath. She wouldn't put sense in Rowan's head by screaming. She never did.

"Luca—"

He raised his eyebrows. "Seriously? You're trying to guilt trip me by using his first name?"

"It's his first week here, and he's already in the hospital, Rowan! He's a teenage boy! He's someone's kid!" Aelin yelled, her tone increasing with each argument.

"Don't you even think about mentioning my daughter! He's the one who enlisted. I'm just doing my job."

She sighed. "I know you are, but your teaching techniques..."

He scoffed. "Don't act like you didn't love my teaching techniques back then."

"Fuck you!"

There were two loud bangs in the door before Aelin's tiniest, angriest co-worker barged in.

"You two." Elide's finger darted between them before she continued. "Seriously? Again?"

Rowan didn't dare point out that he was being talked down by someone with a lower rank than his. He knew better than to argue with Elide.

She continued, "I'm going to discharge your patient, and you two are leaving. Now."

Aelin looked at her watch. Fuck, they needed to rush if they didn't want to be late.

She turned to Rowan. "I'll be in the car in 5." And stopped. Aelin slowly turned to Elide and said, "Tell the patient that Captain Whitethorn told him to go home and come back in two days."

Rowan clenched his jaw, arms already crossed, but said nothing. He knew he had no chance with Aelin and Elide together.

The drive was pretty silent after that, but not exactly comfortable. She knew their fight hadn't ended yet, but it had to for now. They needed to look composed for this.

They heard the deafening sound of children screaming before the car could park at the Air Force school, made specially for the children of the Air Force personnel. It wasn't one of those fancy Montessori schools with hyper-specialized teachers, but it was a good school right next to the village they lived in. It was the best choice for them.

Rowan didn't think so. And he always let her know that, from big arguments to the classic arms-crossed-and-narrowed-eyes thing he was doing now.

She wouldn’t acknowledge his dissatisfaction now, though. They walked together until the pre-K area, which was separated from the big kids', and it took no time at all until a soft set of limbs wrapped themselves around her legs.

Aelin crouched down to talk to her daughter and adjust that messy hair, taking it out of the front of her gorgeous deep green eyes, when Maisie's jaw fell. And she shrieked.

"DADDY!" Was the only thing she screamed before jumping on Rowan's arms, always ready to catch her. "You said you couldn't pick me up today."

Maisie's hair was completely her own, Aelin noticed as her daughter had her back turned at her, on her dad's arms. Not as pale as Rowan's, not as golden as Aelin's. She had Aelin's nose but, apart from that, Maisie looked like a small Rowan Whithethorn with chubby cheeks.

She was just waiting for her face to be right next to his and... yep, there it is. Copy, paste, add childish features. Genetics sounded a lot simpler than what she studied in college while looking at those two.

Rowan was spinning her around, and Mai's squeals of delight were almost deafning. For the first time since seeing Rowan today, Aelin felt like smiling.

They had conflicts, yes, but Aelin couldn't deny that he was a great dad. She had never resented Rowan for being the parent with the stronger genes, or Maisie for being so much like her father. On the contrary. She even thought it was cute, especially when she saw her daughter's little frown or her shy demeanor with strangers. Maisie's a Whitethorn through and through, or so Rowan's family point out every time they meet.

"How was your day, hun?" Aelin asked on the walk back to the car while brushing her little girl's hair back with her hand.

"I got the littlest, babiest grapes today." She stopped in the middle of the parking lot and opened the lunchbox. "Look!"

Inspecting it, Aelin noticed Maisie's littlest, babiest grapes looked like a car ran them over. "What happened to them?"

She took the lunchbox back and frowned. "I don't know. I slept with them at nap time to protect them, but it didn't work out."

Aelin's lips were clamped together, trying hard not to laugh. That little girl probably squished the poor grapes to death. Rowan seemed to think the same, from the way the corners of his lips were tugging up. Noticing Aelin's stare, he gave her a small smile while ruffling their daughter's hair. She quickly looked away.

They never picked her up together when Maisie was in daycare, but they were doing it as an encouragement now that she was still adapting to preschool.

She always missed one parent while in another's house, even if she spent no more than three days in each house and had daily goodnight calls. Every morning was a different meltdown because she says she doesn't like school, so promising Maisie that both parents would pick her up was a good way to stop a tantrum. Some days, at least.

Their daughter was asleep in the car seat, exhausted from preschooler life, so they kept quiet while Aelin drove Rowan back to base for his night class.

"I'll call you," was the only thing he said. Not goodbye or thank you for the ride.

Aelin knew she meant he'd call Maisie for their goodnight call, but she took the bait anyway. "No, you'll call Maisie."

Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose, and Aelin could feel her body go tense again. He was the one annoyed, really?

"I don't understand why we keep having the same conversation over and over."

"Me neither, is that so hard to stop calling me and use the f—" she glanced at Maisie, still asleep. "Fucking parenting app?" Aelin whispered.

"You know what?" He leaned closer to her, hand resting on the car panel. "It is. I hate that app."

"I. Don't. Care. I can't have you calling me several times a day to ask stupid shit like if I packed Maisie's lunch."

Rowan frowned. "That kind of comment isn't helping, Aelin. In fact, it makes me even more concerned."

Was he implying that Aelin didn't care?

Heat flushed through her whole body as she saw red. "Get out of my car."

He didn't.

"Now!" Aelin whisper-yelled, still trying not to wake Maisie up. "Don't you have a student to screw or something?"

Rowan's eyes widened, and every feature of his face slowly started looking consumed by rage. From his glare to his reddened face.

He held back, though.

"You know what?" Rowan unfastened his seatbelt. "I can't talk to you when you're like this."

"Great." Aelin knew she had gone too far. She'd think about it the day she actually cared.

"And I'll call you as many times a day I want whenever you're with my daughter."

He got out and slammed the car door.

Rowan's body went taut at the same time Aelin flinched. They both knew what was happening now.

"Mommy, where's Daddy going?" Their daughter asked a moment later, rubbing her eyes.

Maisie's lips started wobbling the second she noticed Rowan was leaving, and she was wailing even before he could get into the backseat to soothe her. He kept saying that he'd see her at their goodnight call later and tomorrow at the pickup again, but nothing seemed to work.

Resting her head on the steering wheel and taking a deep breath, Aelin tried to think of something. The best bribes were always ice cream or more screen time. She needed to pick her weapons wisely.

@aelinchocolatelover

@autumnbabylon

@bookcide

@cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

@courtofjurdan

@dreamer-133

@elentiyawhitethorn

@elizarikaallen

@fangirlprincess09

@goddess-aelin

@leiawritesstories

@rowanaelinn

@superspiritfestival

@s-uppertime

@thegreyj

@wishfulimaginings

[eerna]

Heyyy i actually really loved the first Throne of Glass book back when the book first came out, I was rereading and rereading it before the 2nd book came out it was so good imo

Assassin girl who loves shopping but then who also has morals? Hot guys in the opposing side? Evil guys idek why they're evil for now (then)? Mystery and magic? Sure! Premise any 17 year old would love!

No my innocent 17yr old mind couldn't comprehend the killing off of the one poc character was totally unnecessary for the drama effect. Not yet by then but my senses were tingling. I was learning.

And then the 2nd one came out and she just began butchering the story. Look I'm not saying I'd be a better writer but the way she just ripped apart the characters that were supposed to have been on the mc's sides in the first book, blaming them for everything, moves on...and then uses the conflicts to basically make them into the bad/gray characters?

....then in the same breath just meets these new characters who's cooler (?) have more powers, and then she keeps unlocking more names (??) and became infinitely more powerful like a pokemon,

...her choices were All Right and the people she left became the Enemies?? It could've been sm more interesting to have the mystery and magic actually have had terrible cause and effect, an actually Good magic system instead of basically plummeting the mc into....magicdom of rightness

This is why HB magic series is so much better

ToG was just....it reeked of something like...a child's story, like if a teenage girl had a writing idea and then became too hormonal to write an actually good story. If we can rename an entire series, I think I wanna rename ToG as 'She Was Always Right'.

I'm not saying we can't have characters make bad decisions but to totally dunk them to make the mc look good?? No accountability on the mc because she's just All That?

And so I began hating on the series. I kept following up on the rest of it tho to see if it gets better. Spoiler, or not, it doesn't.

Then Acotar came out and i heard more things about it. What I picked up on was that the main male character Rhysand kept coming back to the bad guy to just rip him apart even when he's not doing anything to them. Rhysand is also a hot fae (im gonna vomit) similar to Rowan who's basically the Best male main character there is compared to anyone else

And it made me theorize, of how...this may have been venting of some sort by the writer from their own experiences lmao like what if sjm had an actually bad breakup that she keeps using as the punching bag in her mind for the characters that she dislike? just like Chaol that she hates sm to the point she had to cripple him, then make it like all was his fault? And then whoever this guy in Acotar is? Who's basically the placeholder for bad bad guy because now...that seems personal the way her main characters are always right.

I can't be the only one who thinks she's projecting herself into her characters, and not even in a good way

And so now i stay away from her books. You could've been cool, SJM, I'm sorry I thought you were

ToG anon here, lol i just wanna say that. I think for me and my bestie who adored the first book, and now can't and won't touch sjm books with a 1000ft pole, we were just really disappointed with how it turned out. And hate as we know is sm stronger when it actually started with loving something a lot. It Could've Been Good. Lots of magic stories are good in a way that her stories aren't. She just takes alllll the magic system and make it the mc bitch because she buffs them up sm her mcs are basically untouchable beautiful powerful ladies, it's Stupid. It became a fanfiction of selfprojection and self-righteousness and no accountability. If other people think we don't like her books because Sex. Then they're wrong. I couldn't care less about the sex. I read lots of books that have em that don't annoy me. Ok I'm gonna stop now sorry lmao

(I hope this is the ask you meant to continue on, my inbox is a mess rn so I'm sorry if I connected 2 different people)

Vent your frustrations, you're welcome here!! She has a tendency to discard the initial cast and write a whole new one for the MC and this romance/friend group is the bestest and the most powerful and the coolest found family in the WORLDDDD!!!! Years ago there was a supposed interview where she said she names characters she dislikes after her ex boyfriends, but I can't find a source for that so take it with a grain of salt. BUT I do have to say that in ToG she at least tries to fix it, giving Chaol an entire 600 page solo book and allowing Chaol, Dorian and Aelin have their entire "besties who have forgiven each other" conclusion in the final book. And also I didn't mind that retcon all that much bc all of my fave characters showed up thanks to it, and I really disliked Chaol from the get-go so I liked how everyone kept clowning on him bsdjakbaksfk. But it is totally a valid complaint, it is understandable that seeing characters you're interested in be discarded and character assassinated is really annoying.

[katherinejess]

This is my first post on Tumblr! I’ve written before on Wattpad but I just recently got on here so here is my latest obsession, Xavier Thorpe.

Summary: Rowan’s sister is back from burying him but has to keep up the lie that he’s alive and just expelled. As a powerful Telekinetic, she’s always been under pressure from her dad but as the only child after her brother passing and that fact he went mad? It’s even worse.

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Reader

Warnings: Slowburn? I’m a book writer lol not imagines so there will be a part 2. For more just flirting

Edit: here is part 2!

Part 3 is now out!

A.N.: not edited

The class schedule in my hand is new but familiar. The only differences are the intense trainings that my dad had Principal Weems put in, despite her disagreement with him about it. I have always had decent control but when I found out about my brother, I lost it. I destroyed my entire room. Thankfully I was without a roommate at the time and now I can’t have one even if I want because of the extent of the damage.

I was in such a haze, that I went home with ‘Rowan’. Which really was just Weems dropping me off at the train to go home for the private funeral. I still can’t tell anyone. Rowan needed help, I knew that but my dad ignored me. He never cared much for Rowan as he thought he was weak. He focused on me because of the strength in my power and mental stability. I could be pushed and I will fight back but Rowan never really did. He was closer to my mother, for obvious reasons.

I tried to protect Rowan after she passed but he didn’t make it easy. I was surprised to hear he went after Wednesday, over some stupid thing our mother wrote. She might be right or she might be wrong, who knows.

“Y/n!” A voice catches my attention from across the empty Quad. I look up to see Xavier jogging over to where I’m sat on the side of the fountain. I had the rest of the day off since I arrived according to Weems. My father doesn’t know so it can’t hurt him.

“How are you? How’s Rowan?” He questions as he stops in front of me, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Now the hard part is, I’m an okay liar sometimes but my brother is my soft spot. “Good, we are good. He’s fine.” I shrug, oh god, I feel like I answered too fast.

“Oh okay.. good. He hasn’t been responding to my texts.” He mentions, I don’t know how to respond to that. Of course he’s worried about Rowan, they were roommates.

“Um, he’s kinda struggling with leaving Nevermore. He’s stuck with my dad and you know how he is.” I make up, Xavier and Rowan bonded a little bit. At least from what Rowan told me. Xavier’s dad is famous, travels everywhere except to see his son.

“Yeah, I get it. At least you were with him for awhile.” He says, “what’s this?” He gestures to my schedule. He raises and eyebrow, silently asking to see it as he extends his hand.

“My dad has me on this new schedule. Doesn’t want me to get too comfortable after what Rowan did. Now I’m visiting Jericho for a therapist, extra training after school and weekly updates. Weems wasn’t going to let him unless he let me pick an extracurricular that didn’t include telekinesis so now I have to switch that too as she deemed I need something fresh.” I show him, he takes the paper and scans it.

I watch the confusion cross his face before he quietly scoffs.

“This is kind of insane. But hey, why don’t you join the archery club? It’s got a pretty cool leader. I’m sure he will take it easy on you.” He cracks a smile. I roll my eyes but smile back as our eyes meet once again.

“I also hear he has a big head though so we will see.” I tease, pushing myself off the bench and standing up, “I’m leaving to see my new therapist in a few though. Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

He looks behind him where his class is down the hallway, “Yeah I’m supposed to be in the bathroom but then I saw you so.. I’ll see you at dinner yeah?” He questions, tilting his head at me.

A small smile crosses my face again, “Yeah I’ll be there. I missed all of you while I was gone. I really need a nightshades night soon.” Unlike my brother, I wasn’t kicked out. He grins, moving an arm over me as a side hug. He squeezes me against him with an arm around my shoulders.

“We missed you too.”

I lean my head on him for a second, enjoying the moment before shoving him away softly and saying “Go to the bathroom while I go get my private thoughts invaded.” He laughs but walks away, shaking his head at me.

——

It’s nice to be back and to see all of my friends again. Ajax slings an arm around me, hugging me quickly before Enid pulls me away into a strong hug.

“Oh I’m so glad your back! We won the Poe cup, I wish you could’ve been on our team. Yoko had a garlic bread accident but thankfully Wednesday stepped up.” Enid tells me, pulling me to sit down at the table where Ajax and Xavier are now sitting. She speaks so fast it takes me a second to comprehend it.

I glance at the boys, “Ooh it must burn.” I tease, Xavier rolling his eyes. I know how competitive he can be. “I wish I could’ve seen it. I always love the costumes.” I groan, “Im not too upset about not having to wear a catsuit though, doesn’t seem comfortable.” I shrug, resting my elbows on the table.

“Yeah you missed our costumes, they were awesome.” Ajax says, I grin at him.

“Honestly I didn’t see much of a difference. You two always look like jokers.” I can’t hold back my grin as I say it. Enid start laughing and I can’t hold mine back either.

“How long have you been holding that one in?” Xavier asks, though a smile peeks out and I shrug, calming down.

“Since I saw the pictures on instagram. Just be happy I didn’t comment it.” I tell him, causing him to roll his eyes. “You’re lucky I was gone because I know you, you’re competitive. I would’ve rubbed it in your face.” I remind him, waving my finger at him.

I watch him lick his lips and shake his head “if you were here they probably wouldn’t have won.” He shoots back, flicking my finger.

Ajax ooh’s while Enid protests, both of them arguing over it as Xavier and I lock eyes. There’s a sparkle of cockiness in his as I glare at him. But I can’t keep in the smile that crosses my face.

“I’m surprised you’re here acting so calm when you just lost your brother.” A calm controlled voice says behind me.

My eyebrows furrow as I turn to see Wednesday behind me. I’m speechless for a moment as Xavier speaks up, “Leave it alone Wednesday.”

“You need to drop this whole Rowan thing. It’s not funny anymore.” Enid tells her, standing up next to her. But Wednesdays eyes never leave mine.

Xavier comes around the table, standing next to where I’m still sat. “I think it’s time for me to go.” I say, standing up and I see them all look to me, confused.

“Why? Because you’re hiding your brothers death?” She questions, tilting her head as she squints her eyes.

I scoff, “No because Rowan already hurt you twice as he went sort of crazy once you got here and got expelled. I’d like to stay sane.” I retort, trying to remove myself from the situation.

“Just stay away from her Wednesday.” Xavier warns her as I begin to walk away. I can hear Enid telling her I just am worried about my brother but I tune out quickly once I realize Xavier had caught up to me.

“So.. wanna come to my room? It’s drama free.” He offers, as we walk under the covered walkway. I stop, looking back at the trio, where Wednesday is staring at me while Enid talks and Ajax looks like he wants to leave.

“Yeah, sure.” I take his offer and he extends his hand, which I take. It’s warm and surprisingly clean which is unusual. Not that he’s dirty. I’m just used to him behind covered in some sort of art substance.

He smiles down at me as he starts to guide me along.

——

Considering a part two? I’d love some feedback!

[acourtofquestions]

EoS Part 2 FireHeart

Random (contextless-hot-mess) Thoughts “Round Up” Rambling:

*Spoiler warning up to Chapter 52, I have not read further so please avoid spoilers after pg. 484, thank you!*

— Will write more on these random notes later but for now:

She (Elide) is playing a Fortune Teller right as Aelin is freaking out over seeing the future? Or is she playing an ACOTAR type of character?

Elorcan is for sure a thing, they have the HoF ending vibes of Rowaelin with the whole “they don’t want to leave each other” piece now.

Thank goodness for hidden carriage compartments; I REALLY hate the Ilken

Grrrrreeeeaaaaattttt more self doubt for all the traumatized children of Terrasen

“LIVE”

She outsmarted him with assumption and I love her for it. Let’s go Queen Elide!

Wow she just leveled up by deciding about another Queen when she meets her (yesss girl; also noooooo Lorcan just calm down bruh)

What the hell are we doing Lorcan? YOU TELL ME!

Not the damned darkness again! MANON STOP GOING TO THE LIGHT OR DARK AND JUST GO LIVE DAMMIT!

Another life debt, that should come in handy; though wow is she being cold… why? Maybe the Rowan thing? A few pacing’s here are just a little off but maybe it’s perspective or plan? Idk that just felt off for Aelin or maybe… more Celaena?

“Fussy Fae males” and their love for their (what I’m calling because let’s be real they practically are) wives😂🥹

Abraxos found somewhere safe🥹 it was with Dorian😭he knew😭

“Cunning cruelty” yasssssss Elise descriptions (I love a classic 2-3 word description by Maas)

Why this way? Why not that way? What does it mean? Why can’t you go the right direction? I DON’T TRUST ANYONE!

Is it just me or do I also love Fenrys now?

“Witchling” & “Princeling” otherwise known as QUEEN AND KING

Okay so Dorian just did the same Rowan “nothing to me line” only this time it was flirty & not heartbreaking— INTERESTING (plus if it reminds me of Rowaelin it’s a good sign cause come on talk about OTP)

How does the shifter sea dragon thing work? A few chapters ago Aedion was saying it drained her too much? Yet it seems pretty constant? Is she also immortal? How does the human power thing work? Further same question with Dorian and his… shadow hands? —(Idk I’dhave to ask Azriel😂)

Finally YAS Elide let’s full circle this loop girlie (GO FIND AELIN NOW) — DAMMIT NO LORCAN BAD LORCAN DON’T KILL THE QUEEN CAUSE YOU MISS UR BRO — ughhhhhhhh😩 (thank the Wyrd god I can trust in Elide😅😂😭 like babe you have a place in this court; it’s called THE ONLY VOICE OF SANITY & Lysandra is trying but babe she wasn’t built to be the sane one she is a lion for Pete’s sake let the girl be wild too but Elide mommy we need you )

No one else I’d rather have at my back — thank you Dorian for once again healing everything

All the home metaphors for Rowan🥹😭🫶 I LOVE THEM

Where do we go now that we’re “stuck” on a boat with our “enemy” who we happen to think is cute shirtless and we’ll follow to the depths of Morath and say things like always cause it’s super casual totall who knows? Your just “his WIFE”😂

Okay Aelin’s note wins her extra points😘😘

The nightmares… fuck… are they “just nightmares”?

The shift of Rowan into fae but her telling him she just loves him and nothing else, and showing more of that side, and their powers, yet there still them, and just lovely😭 Break my heart again Rowan with your whole I didn’t know if I could get you back schpiel — wait she’ll always come back to him — ROWAELIN I CAN’T😭

I see you & I AM NOT AFRAID

crying cause he doesn’t know how to get her back from the gods but he’d go to hell with wyrdkeys if he had to but things are getting scary and I just want my babies okay

Aww Rowan just wants to be worthy of her, precious bb, you already are!

You’re all I need — see, I TOLD YOU ROWAN

You can’t hurt me — well you sure can hurt me

Rowan Pretty words Whitethorn😊

lol the two assassins retiring — yes please🫶

The “Yielding” … interesting… this feels bad… but cool?

The speed of certain ships is either due to soulmates, lack of perspective, or perhaps wreckless personality. It doesn’t bug me when I think on it (honestly I’m a bad judge after all these Rowaelin pining books) but I am curious about it.

“Courting death” the Manorian romance novel😂

The rest of them watching Rowaelin spar and pretending to ignore them even though they are a “storm” lol

She kept her friend and words to herself she’s growing and you can give the girl some points Dorian

I’m with ya Manon not until I have no choice! EVERYTHING IS FINE! To whatever end😭🖤

The 13 are fine. I agree. I am with Manon; until proven otherwise. That ilken knew nothing😅 because it’s just messing with her🥲 nevermind the fact no one knew that about Asterin🫥 or the Matron is off wreaking havoc🫠 she thinks Manon’s dead that’s gotta help right😭 MY GODS RIGHT😩 ITS NOT TRUE THERES NO FUCKING WAY THEY WOULD DO THAT TO ME LIKE THAT NONE AT ALL

If they friggin kill Fenrys five seconds after me being like well hello sir —

Why did the powers stop??? Why did both Aelin and Rowan’s powers stop? THATS NOT NORMAL!

DAMN IT HE KNOWS DAMN IT HE KNOWS DAMN IT

Okay is her power water or healing or one in the same?

Umm… Is she preggers? … … … why did she call Lysandra? Rowan bud are you okay? Is it the vision — what was the vision?

WTF NO I KNEW ELLYWE WOULD GET ME

Elide is giving Mob wife energy 💅🏻 😂 *hey google play “please please please” by Sabrina Carpenter*

NOOOO NOW ITS The Prophecy for Aelin

THE KEY I KNEW IT I KNEW IT (still think it’s a lock though)?

“Uncle kitty” I AM CACKLING

“She asked for him” I love Aedion and Aelin

More stars lines more breaking my heart great another quote time

Elide Lochan remaining a lovely human “not a monster” despite 10 years of trauma

How did Manon know that? OH GOODNESS ITS A REAL PROPHECY? Is it the Valg - witch connection? How’s that work with her Crochan blood?

Oh my gods IS SHE PREGNANT?!

Okay well at least I’m not crazy Maas did make us go there

Not to be that person but also like they should’ve talked about that one BEFORE😂 or at least recently… and I kinda hate that the “marriage & babies” is all “a queen is only good for” kinda mentality is getting into her head and not becoming a full talk with Rowan; where I feel like Maasverse already has a tendency to do messy pregnancy plots (there’s nothing wrong if she wants to get married and have kids: I’m just saying this time when stating it, it did not sound like she wanted kids; as much as “an heir” in “preparation for her inevitable doom” that she’s way too easily accepting)

Let’s have an adventure lol WRONG PEOPLE GUYS, THAT WAS CHAOLS LINE lol …also the line “Don’t leave”🥹 so many feels… and also A lot of repeated phrases either by intention or trope but I’m curious to see which it will be…

The more I think on it the Husband lie was quite genius as Elide always is

Who was it that they knew? … Whats up with the shape shifting Ilken?

The key is talking to Elide now (great🙄 that never goes wrong)? — Does it only talk to magic and witches? — HOW DOES IT WORK? (Also can my girls please stop wearing them so closely like literally on their hearts HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF A HORCRUX — BE CAREFUL GIRLIES)

Blaming her — AGAIN?! — REALLY??? … WHY?!?

The goodbye with Abraxos😭😭😭

The marsh… sure… nothing bad ever happens in creepy swamps… 😅😅🙃

The King of Adarlan and Queen of Terrasen (okay I see you boo’s)

The cloak turned into a single ribbon🖤

THE QUEEN SAW IT TOO💔

Where to now???

[tildeathiwillwrite]

My OC's in the Knights Radiant Quiz

@illarian-rambling did this thing recently where she took the Knights Radiant Quiz for her ocs. Thought it was cool so I'm doing it too lol.

The Legend of Orian Goldeneye:

Jas: Willshaper (81%). Considering what her motives are in the story, this tracks nicely. Killian: Skybreaker (78%). I feel he'd be more of an ancient order Skybreaker, operating within his own moral code with an understanding of how rules are imperfect. Orian: Edgedancer (77%). It kind of fits his personality, and he would love to slide around. Henrik: Skybreaker (74%) and Stoneward (74%). Man was born to be a Skybreaker, he's a garrison captain after all. Stoneward also fits him, as a soldier. Diana: Lightweaver (74%). She is a musician, her morals can be questionable, and she disagrees with Henrik about many things. Azura: Lightweaver (57%) and Elsecaller (57%). She is very much into the subterfuge aspect of the Lightweavers. She's also decent at tactics, a theme of the Elsecallers, and dreamshaping is somewhat similar to moving through Shadesmar. Morpheus: Elsecaller (63%). Very similar to Azura, but he's much more on the cautious side.

Tales from Valaria:

Octavian: Windrunner (77%). Like me! And it also fits his role in The Watcher and the Thief, though by the time The Hunter the Myth and the Cure comes around it's changed drastically. Draven: Willshaper (73%). He does what he wants, doesn't really care for rules but he does have his own moral code. Reese: Lightweaver (62%). I'm not too sure about this one, mostly because her morals align closer to a Willshaper or Edgedancer in my opinion. But she does tend to hide her true self from others. Luc: Windrunner (78%). Fits his morals and his job, he's quite protective. Hector: Windrunner (79%). Same as Luc, makes sense since he's Luc's mentor, but I'd say Luc has a little bit more Skybreaker in him than Hector. Damian: Edgedancer (70%). Bodes well for Caenum to have a heir that cares for his people. He was also willing to give up his freedom if it meant his captor didn't get what she wants, so he's fairly selfless. Kaira: Lightweaver (57%) (Also -20% for Bondsmith apparantly???). She's very good at deception, but that's the only thing that would be Lightweaver about her. Personally I think she'd be a better Elsecaller, due to her search for power. Rift: Elsecaller (54%). I don't know how he got this one, he has average wisdom and intelligence is his dump stat. But he would definitely make good use of Shadesmar (for "borrowing" purposes).

(Forsaken: The Doomed City):

Rowan: Elsecaller (74%). Makes sense, he's fairly cautious, he's the leader of the group (not very good at it), and he's willing to do anything to get what he wants. Victoria: Windrunner (63%). She definitely likes working in a team, and is really attached to and protective of those she cares about, to the point where she'd do anything to save them. Ollie: Truthwatcher (81%). Considering their powers make him a great spy, fueled by his natural curiosity, this fits. Sam: Stoneward (61%). She's the group's tank, the most reliable out of all of them, and fairly optimistic. Whisper: Elsecaller (70%). What is with my villains and getting Elsecaller? Is it because they all seem to be selfish bastards who do anything for what they want? (Nevertheless this does fit him).

[lmelodie]

Familiar Territory

BlackIce for Valentines Day!!! LET'S GOOO! A few years after Chance and Choice, BlackIce being back together for a hot second by this point.

I'm gonna be so fr, this little one shot has made me realize that I maybe don't know how to write fluff for these bitches?? It was harder than I thought it would be! There are other more fluffy concepts in my wips but this one has a lot more substance.

Oh, also y'all remember Ryder from this little doodle dump? The Mermaid? His character got overhauled and his name is Rowan now lol.

Bonus doodle at the very end, ENJOY!

Anyone from the magical realms will tell you, with varying levels of jealousy, that there are plenty of places that a magical being can roam about freely amongst human kind with minimal or even no cloaking involved. One of these being New York City, wherein everyone seems at least a little bit off kilter or odd in a way that blends everyone together in their strangeness. So realistically in the height of the Christmas season, no one would ever notice, or at least look twice at a very seasonally appropriate man in a blue suit in the midst of an otherwise normal group of friends. 

"Join us! Join us! JOIN US!" Lucy’s chants fade into and then quickly out of earshot to Killian as her and Jack skate by yet another time on their route around the rink. She turns around on her skates and holds onto Jack’s shoulder so he can keep pulling her along as she waves down her fellow redhead as they go for another lap around. 

She shouted the same thing to him for the last five laps and just like those other times he paid her no mind, glued to his chain smoking spot leaning against a nearby column.

The ambience of the Winter Village rink during Christmas on the edge of dusk was the pinnacle of experiencing the Christmas spirit that particular day. Even in her early twenties her enthusiasm for such things has never wavered, bouncing off the walls all day and Jack, Killian and Rowan were all subject to her special brand of holiday energy. Which includes her insisting that Killian should get out on the ice with them. 

He only showed up maybe an hour ago, knowing that Jack was somewhere in the city, but he overlooked the inevitable presence of his emotional support dormouse and her new squeeze. So the boogeyman patiently waits for them to finish off on the side of the rink, watching her spin back around to take Jack’s arm for the casual stroll. His presence unassumingly creates a breach of space in the crowd of civilians around him who fear to approach him any further for reasons they themselves cannot articulate.  

“Behind you!” Rowan shouts out to the pair as he quickly catches up to them on their rotation.

A curiously out of sorts human pyromancer that swept the young woman off her feet about 6 months ago. The whole met in college love story between a wizard and a sorceress with the stack of dropped books that he offered to help her with and everything. A rigamarole of horrible cliches that they've been enjoying to no end. 

He quickly catches up to the pair and crashes into Lucy from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and pushing her forward and away from Jack as they slow to a stop further ahead. She chuckles in good spirits with him all the same.

“How'd I do?” Rowan asks through gasps of air as he brushes back the brown shaggy hair from his face.

Lucy rolls up the sleeve on her overcoat to check her watch, “Fifteen laps around in…forty five minutes.”

"What!? Oh come on! I was really pushing it too,” he chuckles breathlessly.

“That's not a bad time at all! I don't think.”

"Eh. I've seen faster," Jack interjects as he quickly passes them by.

“Nobody asked you,” she shouts after him, quickly tilting her head up to Rowan. “Don't listen to him, your time was fine. If it's any consolation you were fast in my heart.”

Rowan snickers, “That doesn't even make sense.”

“It does so! Physics works differently in my heart. And what makes even more sense is getting a cocoa break,” she can feel her date dropping his arms from her waist as she takes his hand and pulls him along. “Keeping warm is important when someone likes to bite peoples fingers!”

Jack turns over his shoulder at the call out as they catch back up to him, “Excuse me? You've got the wrong guy here. I've worked hard to scrub that reputation clean ya know, and you're over here dragging my name back through the mud again. If you're looking for a finger biter, look at him.”

He vaguely gestures to Killian on the sidelines as the three of them complete the last lap and skate back up to the gate they entered at. Jack watches Lucy and Rowan exit the rink while he lingers behind on the ice and throws his elbows on the ledge. On cue, Killian throws the half burnt cigarette onto the floor and snuffs it out with boot, throwing his hands into his pockets to stroll over to where Jack has stopped.

“Your turn,” he says with a smug grin.

He rolls his eyes, “Absolutely not.”

“Why? Because you know you can't do it?”

“Yeah, actually. So what,” Killian shifts his weight slightly over to stand a fraction closer to the open gateway to the rink, the throngs of people moving about around him also move accordingly.

“So, I've been trying to teach you how for sky knows how long. It's your own fault you don't know.”

“None of that has been teaching, it was sabotaging,” he provides a ghost of a smile, “It's not a skill I need to know. There has never been a time where skating on the ice has ever been useful to me.”

“Says who?” Jack replies, “Who's to say it won't come in handy in the knick of time one of these days?”

“Me. That's never gonna happen so I don't need to learn.”

Jack gets an idea. Well, Jack had the idea ever since Killian showed up and has been simmering this entire time. It's the same idea he always has in locations and circumstances like these. 

“Mhm, right. So why are you here exactly?” he asks with an air of feigned innocence. 

Killian sighs, “Because I actually wanna do something fun for a change.”

“What, you're telling me that small children face planting onto the ice isn't fun?”

Killian looks out onto the ice with a small chuckle to see if any such occurrences would make themselves loudly known, “Oh don't get me wrong, that's always funny. Especially if you get a few right after the other in a stupid little domino effect. Or if all of them go down at once at the same time.”

Jack snorts in choking back a laugh, “Exactly. And I'm sure it would be a lot funnier from a better vantage point,” He says, motioning to the open gate.

Kills shakes his head, “Hah, nice try, but not in your immortal life. Now let's blow this ice cube stand and go west, I want a front row seat when the 405 gets backed up and wrecked from a freak blizzard.” 

The marginally threatening tone and that one specific look was practically designed to catch a Yes as an answer, as the prospect was something they did often in the last couple years. Jack makes it seem he’s got him hook, line and sinker. 

“Fine. I guess I can squeeze that into my very busy schedule—,” Jack pauses as he takes one foot off the ice, looking around the immediate vicinity before grabbing Killians arm with both hands, “—later!”

In one fell swoop Jack pulls Killian out onto the ice with subtle wisps of blue magic forming under his boots with each step to make blades of ice. A couple of sharp swears are heard as he clumsily stumbles into the rink, nearly slipping and falling at least twenty times in quick succession, forced to grab onto Jack as his only form of stability. He quickly comes to an unsteady stop, far enough away from the gate so he can't backtrack too easily and practically clings to Jack out of necessity, holding his breath.

Jack on the other hand keeps both of their weight steady by holding onto his upper arms with the biggest, shit eating smirk on his face. He lets him adjust his balance slightly as he lets the moment simmer for half a second, savoring it.

“Need help?” he finally says.

Killian's face uncharacteristically flushes, “No...! And fuck you!”

Jack can’t help but snicker while trying to help him stand up straighter and actually get moving somewhat, which his body language vehemently disagrees with and actively fights him against, “I just can't believe that after nearly two thousand years you still fall for it. Everytime. Truly amazing, have I ever told you how incredible you are?”

“Shut up! I’ll fucking kill you,” Killian grumbles, nearly sputters, tightening his grip on arms when his feet wobble a bit, “You are going to pay for this later, I swear to god.”

“Hm, promise?”

This actually earns a tiny laugh from him, but also gains a more menacing look, “You’d like that wouldn't you. Your just so fucking lucky that there’s so many people hERE—!”

Lucy and Rowan seated themselves on a nearby bench to watch Killian nearly fall again, each having their own cup of fresh cocoa. Lucy stretches and waves one of her arms in the air to catch their attention, “You're doing great Kills!”

“Lucy, I will break BOTH of your legs!”

Killian doesn't turn back but Jack looks directly at her with that same smug grin and a casual two finger salute to her as Killlian tries to steady himself again, clearly enjoying every precious second, knowing that it is a passing moment of superiority.

Lucy pays his threat no mind, Rowan beside her giving the two a more worried look for her safety as they survey the pair on the ice, their relative peace quickly devolves into their usual petty arguing about how Killian was only making things worse and Jack telling him to stop moving so much. This, turning a few heads of the other skaters that stay far, far away from the duo.  

Rowan turns back to Lucy, giving a quick glance to her mug before pulling out his wand from an inside coat pocket. He brings the amber tip to trace the rim of the cup with a very soft glow, summoning trails of golden magic to follow its path and dip into the hot chocolate with fading sparkle and seeping the enchantment into the drink, making sure it stays at a perfectly hot temperature. 

“You're almost as bad as him,” she softly smiles and brings the cup to her mouth, “you're not supposed to use magic out and about ya know.”

“It's not magic, it's…a prop,” he casually tries to excuse. “There's a Harry Potter store like, an hour away, it's fine. I just hate that the drinks get cold so fast.”

“Thanks,” her posture relaxes when taking another sip and leaning her head on his shoulder. 

Rowan, while getting more used to it, still blushes slightly when she leans against him. He intuitively puts his free arm around her shoulder as they watch Killian struggle on the ice, with Jack trying not to laugh too hard at him. Lucy continues to egg him on from the sidelines with returned threats on her life, both her and Jack taking varying levels of enjoyment in his struggle for very different reasons.

[valandhirwriter]

Shadows of Spring then. OR anything Lux I don't know yet 😂❤️ (LUUUUUUX)

LOL, you hit an Erland story actually. ;) So i honestly went looking for a Lux piece you do not know. Which is not easy, because you know most of them. I take one where I am fairly sure, you didn't see it, or only the opening paragraphs. It is one of my crazier ones, so forgive me for that one. It was this one, or the time-travel one.

Chapter 1 – Enfant perdu

The hooting of a grey owl drew Lux out of his slumber, and the rolling hoot, almost like laughter rang through the early spring night air. He blinked against the pale moonlight filtering through the tall window illuminating the room. 

Tall Window? His mind startled from the haze of sleep. His quarters in the bastion of storms had the privilege of a window - a small slit in the vaulted wall letting some vague light filter through. It was a privilege that only officers had, and Lux as a captain only made the cut because he was Captain of the Royal Impera. Everyone else had quarters deep in the underground vaults of the bastion. He blinked again. Definitely his quarters - his armour on the rack, the three glass holders for prayer candles, the clear glass discoloured from flame and ash, remnants of his past, and the shelf on the wall, stacked with books, this was his room - it did not change the straight walls and the high double lancet window with the complex tracery in the upper arches. The type of window was found in parts of the old palace wings, certainly not in the barracks. He pushed himself up on one arm, ready to swing his legs out of the bed, when he noticed, that he was not alone, someone’s arm was draped over his side, and his legs were partially entangled with someone else's.

He almost jumped up but forced himself to go still. If this was a dream, then a very real one, and if it was real… it couldn’t be. He had returned to his quarters in the bastion a few hours ago, after an angry and scathing dressing down from his Majesty, who had been deeply annoyed about the safety measures for the journey to Rowan. He had wished Lux to the other end of time and gotten truly vexed when Lux had dug in, he did not compromise where his Emperor’s safety was concerned, even if it meant risking the man’s ire. He still might see punishment for insolence - not the first in his career either. He carefully extricated his legs from the tangle, careful to not wake the person who was with him and then turned around. His hand brushed over the blanket. He frowned. His quarters were comfortable, but he most certainly used no sheets like these… what was going on here? Had he been drunk and landed in a guest suite? No, his things were here. 

He sat up, and looked at the person lying between him and the wall, and he had to hastily balance himself to not fall out of the bed inelegantly. For tightly snuck in between him and the wall, buried in two comfortable blankets was the familiar figure of a very asleep and also very naked Emhyr var Emreis, resting peacefully on the thick bedroll Lux preferred in lieu of cushions. 

Lux froze in place. This had to be a dream - a very vivid dream for sure. But a dream. Maybe brought on by the recent trouble? Had he been exhausted enough to allow his mind to slip to thoughts otherwise forbidden? Panic rose inside him, or had he been drugged with something? A magic delusion? Truth drug his mind supplied. They gave you the test of loyalty again after you were too recalcitrant. He sighed. He had been through that test by the court mages a number of times, they had trouble reading him correctly and thus had resolved to test his loyalty to the Emperor using a concoction of powerful drugs. The problem was - the drugs worked on one’s feelings towards the subject. He had passed those tests always with flying colours, but they buried at things that should better not come up to the surface. 

He sighed, time to get out of here. He carefully moved off the bed, moving across the room noiselessly. The room was too big to be his quarters, even as it contained his familiar things. The floor felt cool under his naked feet, and there was a soft brush of air from the window, pebbling against his skin. He stepped to the small table holding the candles, lifting one up to smell it - prayer candles were usually scented. But instead of the familiar scent of sandalwood, the soft scent of blue lotus and moon orchids tickled his nose. He closed his eyes letting the gentle scent brush against his senses. The mages had really messed it up, or the mage administering the test had expensive tastes. Moon orchid candles were pricey on the best of days, not to mention that most makers reserved their moon orchid oils for making more marketable things than prayer candles. 

He checked over his shoulder, the Emperor was still asleep, nothing was moving. Definitely a test. The mages could not fully see what happened inside the test, or they would have known about Lux years ago, but sometimes they tried to force it. He picked up the long pine chip, lit it at the dying fire in the open grate - since when did a Captain’s quarters warrant a fireplace of one’s own? - and when a small flame licked up the chip he ignited the prayer candle, a small flame rising. 

While the light of the sun is beyond doubt or debate, the flame of a single candle is of greater danger, as every power needs a proper focus. The words long taught to him whispered in his mind. He put the pine chip aside after extinguishing it and took a deep breath to centre himself. Exciting this test was usually a matter of control of one’s own mind. He placed both hands in fists crossed on his chest, and directed his mind inward… to his core…

“Nightmare?” A warm voice asked from behind.

The Emperor had woken. Lux turned around, suddenly aware that he was in a state of full undress, and very well visible in the moonlight. Not to mention the candle casting a cone of light right on him. 

Emhyr had propped himself up on one arm, warm brown eyes shimmering, reflecting the light of the candle. “Kaer Sion again?” he asked softly.

Lux almost took a step backwards, he could feel the colour drain from his face. How in the world did the Emperor know about this? No one - no one - knew what had happened in those dark days in that mountain fortress. He had managed to escape, and he had never told anyone of what had transpired there. 

His mien must have confirmed it, for Emhyr extended a hand towards him. “Come back to bed, there are better remedies for nightmares, than prayers,” 

Sun above, what kind of drug cocktails had the mages given him? Hesitantly Lux stepped back and touched Emhyr’s fingers, feeling them curl around his hand. “It was just a dream,” he said, trying to sound normal. 

Emhyr pulled him down, so he came to sit on the bed again. “I know those ‘just a dreams’ too well,” he said, pulling Lux down onto the bed and feathering soft kisses along Lux’s jaw. “The kind of dreams, that has you pray warrants distraction,” he interspaced the words with more kisses, his lips trailing over Lux’s throat, and Lux threw back his head, to allow for that wonderfully warm touch. A part of him was panicking, if the mages saw that he’d be in for it. Their cocktail must be off by a lot this time. 

“Sometimes a little focus helps,” he replied, biting away a Sire at the last moment. If this was just his own mind, he might as well behave normally. His fingers found Emhyr’s dark hair, slowly running through the silky locks. Lux couldn’t help it, the sudden closeness was intoxicating much as it was forbidden. 

Emhyr interrupted his ministrations and looked up. “I prefer you without that focus, without the walls you build up, the man you hide beneath,” he said his hands gently but very insistently roaming Lux’s naked body. 

The entire surreality of this hit Lux full force again. He was in bed with the Emperor, not that he would mind, but it was not likely to ever happen. And yet his mind and whatever drugs the mages had given him, had conjured this up and he did not manage to break the dream’s hold. He might as well…

“Walls protect, Emhyr,” he said, throwing all nerves to the wind, wrapping both arms around the other man, to kiss him in return. His hands wandered up Emhyr’s back, to the shoulder blades and he could feel the slender body strain into his touch. 

Emhyr groaned, his hands running over the entire length of Lux’s body possessively. “Just a reason to crumble those walls again,” he said, before capturing Lux’s lips in a very deep kiss.

Lux’s closed his eyes, just letting the sensations wash over him, it was like a dream - a very forbidden dream - but his will to resist the dream’s lure was waning rapidly. He responded to Emhyr’s kiss slowly, not that it seemed to perturb him and let his hands slowly discover the lean body above him. When their kiss broke, Emhyr smiled at him, a hungry, brilliant smile. “Never let it be said, I could resist a wall in need of breaking down…”

***

When Lux woke again, he honestly expected to find himself tied to a testing chair in the bowels of the dungeons, with a good chance to throw up the rest of the potion. Instead, he found himself in bed, warmly snuggled up with a certain Emperor, and the first light filtered through the high window. Warm lips traced his scalp, Emhyr was already awake. Lux blinked up at him and was greeted with a smile, he could barely imagine Emhyr was capable of. “You slept like a marmot,” he said his eyes sparkling. 

There was a closeness and intimacy in the words that seared itself directly into Lux’s heart. Even if his Emperor, like others before him, chose to sate his baser urges with one of his soldiers, physical affection would have been the most Lux might have hoped for. This… this was different. He tilted his head to feather a kiss on Emhyr’s lips. “You were right, the best remedy for restless dreams.” 

He had hit it right, his Emhyr, this Emhyr they both liked to win and to be right because the slight smirk said told you so without words. Lux cast a glance at the window, registering the sunlight and sat up. “I better get moving or the General is going to have kittens…”

Emhyr chuckled. “One day, Lux, one day you will tell me what happened in that hole in the ground that convinced you Aeron is capable of that feature.” 

“One day,” Lux echoed, he had no clue how such mornings were supposed to go, the usual cases gracing the Emperor’s bed were escorted out by morning at the latest if they had lasted all night. An Emperor in the quarters of one of his officers… there was no protocol in the world to rule that. 

Emhyr misread his glance. “I know - it is this day - having to listen to Voorhis sniffling widow for hours will not be good. But it must be handled before we depart for Rowan.” He cast a glance at him. “Keep the helmet off today, my hunter, I want her to remember who gutted that treacherous curr for all the capital to see.”

He had killed Prince Voorhis? Publicly? Lux did not doubt he’d be capable of it, he had learned to kill and not ask questions when he had gone to the hills and joined those fighting the usurper, but… this sounded like a spectacle. He could not ask. “I best get myself scrubbed,” he said, having slipped into breeches and a light tunic. He’d have to find out where in the palace he was first, and then work out the rest. 

His luck persisted, because his quarters were obviously situated near the hidden stairwell leading down into the bastion, and he could easily get to the communal baths from there. It was early enough for the baths to be not overcrowded and give him time to wash thoroughly. He was almost done when Bran, his Lieutenant, occupied the tub beside him and made a face. “Curd soap, Lux? Do you want to bring a bad mood down on all of us, one day before we ride - one day before he too has to be in the saddle all day? Don’t be cruel, please?”

Lux looked at his old friend, wondering what he was thinking. Were they friends? Or did he despise him for sleeping with the Emperor? What were they here? “Bran?” He asked, not quite sure what he meant. Everyone used curd soap down here, it was provided by the army in large quantities to keep the soldiers clean. Scented soaps were forbidden in military bathing houses - if everyone used them the stench would be enormous and every blind assassin would find them by the nose alone. 

To his surprise Bran got out of the water, padded across the tiled floor and grabbed something from a basket and threw it at Lux, it was a bar of soap smelling of Winneburg orange blossoms and a small flask of oil from the same source. “You alright?” He asked with a hint of worry in his voice. “You know how he hates the ‘soldier stench’, so what made you revert to…”

“Just not thinking,” Lux replied, realising he’d have to play it by ear. “I was tired and went by…” habit he wanted to say, but he saw Bran’s arched eyebrow.

“Take a boy out of the hills, but you’ll never get the hills out of the boy,” Bran teased, before falling serious and letting himself drop into the water again. “Do us all the favour and avoid needless upheavals will you?” he said, “The whole Voorhis case will have him in a mood up and down the walls and the ride for Rowan…”

“So no carriage?” Lux asked, before diving under to clean his hair. When he came up Bran arched an eyebrow. 

“Lux, please - there is no need to revert to that facade again. I have known since… well since ever I should think. I know he will travel horseback, much as he dislikes it, and use the chance to hit the communities along the road with surprise visitations. So keeping his mood somewhere bearable will be your prime mission objective from here on out. I guess the General isn’t saying it any more, because he can assume you know.”

Lux got out of the water, drying himself off, and swiftly got dressed again. He made a bit more haste, so he’d be at the guardroom before Bran, which gave him a chance to hastily flip through the guard log and get up to speed on the daily operations of the Royal Impera. He noticed it was run as a double company, each led by a Lieutenant, and the shift patterns were odd. So he’d have to find out the reason for it. Caio de Varderaan, the golden Peregrine, was another surprise. He led the secondary company, coming off the night shift, and he, like Bran, seemed to be an old comrade of Lux. “Word has it, that the Emperor intents to visit the extended var Emreis lines, once he has dealt with that Roweni Duke in Dun Fionn,” he said, “now that we are back here, he intents to crush all the traitors, much like he crushed the north….” he stopped and his eyes fell to Lux’s belt. “Gods above, why did you dig that blade out? Where’s your gear?”

Lux frowned, he wore a regular Impera belt with a familiar blade by his side, it was the same sword he used at home. A simple appearing blade, that had never failed him in many years. Before he could react, Caio had turned around. “Sergeant! Hailey - run over to the armourer and ask why the Captain’s gear isn’t back here. And make him work faster if he forgot it.”

Lux leaned against the windowsill covering his surprise. There had been no other weapon’s belt on the armour rack in his quarters. He was sure of that. He had grabbed the gear he had seen there, it was the usual gear Impera Officers used. Hailey - how in the world had he ended up in Impera? - came running back. “Trouble, Sir,” he said “The armourer says the gear vanished, armor and weapons. He had it last night and now it is gone. He swears it was right there.”

“Could be a matter of theft,” Lux said, “run to the master-at-arms and ask, maybe one of the helpers dropped it off with him when delivering the repaired gear this morning. Otherwise, we’ll make do.” 

“Why in the world would someone steal your armour?” Caio arched an eyebrow. “It couldn’t be sold anywhere, without getting the person in trouble and no one can use it obviously.”

“Assassin,” Lux replied, “get a man of the same stature, put him into the armour and you’ll walk through the gates before someone wonders.”

“Now I know again, why you got this post,” Bran quibbed, “you are paranoid. Someone pretending to be you, wouldn’t last long in here, and if he is anywhere close, no five minutes. And I mean it.”

Not very encouraging words, Lux thought, though he kept any thought carefully wiped off his mien. “Let’s go over the day until Hailey gets back,” he said, and the next half hour was spent on planning by letting them talk, and listening Lux managed to fill in a lot of blanks that would allow him to function, at least in his role for now. 

Hailey came running back with two helpers. “Weapons master says only your battle gear is stored with him, I had him break that out, to give us time to find out what happened at the armourer’s.”

It was an idea that made sense, or at least some sense. Again Lux played along, just enough to not give himself away. “Warn the other guards that someone might try to pretend to be me - just in case an assassin gets smart. And have the armourer check the basement - if one of his helpers decided to reorganize his stocks again…”

The words elicited a groan from Bran. “Then we might find your armour in three years behind a pile of steel bars. I’ll have someone on it.”

Alone in the narrow side room, Lux took the time to change, and examine the armour brought up. It made sense to split field gear and palace gear, as Impera’s Armours for court duty tended to be just a tad more ornate. But this chaos felt ridiculous. He worked fast the layer of leather first, they fit perfectly, and then the armour pieces. At first sight, they were typical Impera - black armour, the left pauldron engraved with the winding silver band indicating his rank, but when he assembled them he realised they were anything but. Two intricate layers of chain and steel were perfectly moulded to his body, allowing for flexibility while providing maximum protection. Some changes were subtle, like the much finer structure of the armour gloves, to allow the hands more movement range. 

Lux almost dropped the bracer he was holding, realising it was not a one-piece lower arm bracer, but layered from several leaf-shaped plates. It wasn’t possible. This armour only made sense if he had ever let anyone know of his training. Jarcai demanded that style of flexibility. And the entire point of his military career had been to not let anyone know where his training had come from. Jarcai was not meant for war, it was meant to master mind and body and transcend the boundaries of the flesh. And like many others, Lux had used it to fight back against the Usurper. Like often before, those who had done so, would join the armies pretending to be good, but normal fighters, dispelling any fears that a sect had the potential to raise an army that could wipe regular forces off the map. He weighed the bracer in his hand - he usually used the excuse that he was trained in sword dancing, which had Vattier search up and down the garden districts for the remnant of an ancient knightly order. His fingers traced over the black steel, perfectly shaped to fit his body, to fit his movements. He could not have told the secret? Could he have told the truth to the Emperor? Lux had luckily never been in that spot. The Emperor did not care where the lethal skills came from, as long as it was used in his service. 

Again a cold question rose inside him. Was this a test? Were the mages digging for a secret? No, it was unlikely. Then what was happening to him? Was he dreaming? Or was this a dream of another life? Lux had read about such experiences, but he knew he had never shown any talent for dreaming, be it prophetic, or transcendental. Worse even - he had no time to consider all variables. He was seemingly trapped within another version of his life, and one where he must have made very different choices. He sighed and finished donning the armour. Once it was assembled it fit like a second skin. He put the helm on the armour rack and walked out. He could only see what the day would bring.

[abelflints]

hellooo!! your secret pal here :D for your gift, would you prefer it to be something fluffy/cute (i.e. more on the romantic side) or more on the spicy side (nothing nsfw of course! just mild spice) ? do you have any preferences? also if it's not too much of bother could you tell us some fun facts bout Vax? (i love his design btw!! he looks so cool!!) thank you in advance and have great day! (=^･ω･^=)

Omg! Hii 🥰 Hope you're having a good day too, anon! Okay, so... for the gift, I guess something more fluffy/cute, please😌 And thank you for what you said about my ILW MC! I love his design too, hehe... As for facts about him... I'll put those under the cut!

Okay so, I have entirely too much to say about Vax 😳 You don't have to read nor include any or all of this! I'm not great at summarizing, so it is what it is! I'll start with the shippy stuff! I don't know what you're planning, so I'll just give the full low-down anyways, brace yourself, I'm sorry, anon 😭 Vax's pet names for Lincoln (not used until near the end of the game, and generally only used in private): - My dawn - My purpose - My path - My salvation Romance Basics: PDA: dislikes being openly affectionate, and just in general being open about his positive emotions at all, checks coast is clear beforehand. Grumpy if caught or teased – not embarrassed of Lincoln, just doesn’t like getting caught expressing feelings. May warm up to a few public kisses as the romance progresses. Words of Affection – won’t say I love you, not directly. Expresses it via actions and more round-about phrases. A mess at flirting near the start, would nestle his flirts in between put upon coughing fits, then splutter something completely different and mildly insulting when asked what he just said, lol. Not a singer, but might gruffly sing a few slightly romantic goth song lyrics in between cuddles.

Physical Affection – favourites include kneeling down to brush his lips over Lincoln’s knuckles and kissing the inside of Lincoln’s wrist, has danced with Linc to records Vax inherited (mostly goth records.) Will die before he lets people see him being romantic though, so doesn’t happen in public. Also likes cuddling, but will pretend he doesn't.

Realisation – had feelings for Lincoln before the finale, but only occurred to him he loved Lincoln during a pivotal decision near the finale, which.. I don't know if you've played it lives within, so that's all I'll say!

Ways Vax says "I love you": Casually: - down-played comments, e.g: you’re… tolerable, I don’t hate you, you’ll do.. for now (frowning, but there’s a sparkle of affection in his gaze if you know where to look) - comments that mean the opposite, e.g I hate you (said with a petulant scowl, but his face is spasming with an oncoming smile.)

Deeper into the relationship: - simply just trailing his finger over his heart, then tapping and holding it there, or holding his hand there - “I am yours” - “My footsteps echo yours” - “I would live for you” – means more than “I would die for you”, he’s reckless, would die for anyone – but to live for someone?  That’s putting in the effort.

Miscellaneous Shippy Headcanons: 1) Lincoln has a sketchbook full of candid sketches of V, Vax delves in sometimes to pen grumpy, but-loving-in-his-own-way type comments in the margins, Lincoln writes back. 2) V and Linc have matching preserved-rowan tree sprig necklaces where the sprig rests just above their hearts, gifted by Linc. Both have different gems knotted alternately into the full length of the cord. V's has: Polished fossil wood chunks (shiny brown) Gargoyle-head shaped opal pieces (white holographic. gargoyles to ward off evil.) Linc's has: Pink tourmaline chunks Butterfly-shaped blue topaz pieces. The gems were picked especially to represent each other 🥺

3) V's necklace is scented with Lincoln's cologne, if he gets really anxious he can turn around, hold the necklace up to his lips and kiss it 3 times and inhale the scent to calm him down 😭 he doesn't like people seeing him doing this though, so he will be as secretive about it as he can. Onto the non shippy facts! Main Hobbies: - DMing for Dungeons and Dragons - a very animated dungeon master, in contrast to his usual grumpy self. - Moth and butterfly study and care - big lepidopterology nerd, inherited from his mom, keeps her butterfly and moth ID book with all her notes in a secret place on him at all times. - Creepy Toy Making - think.. Coraline. makes animals, and people, thoughts and prayers for whoever stays in Lincoln and his eventual apartment's guestroom, cuz it's just filled to the brim with those terrifying toys😭 Other Hands-On Hobbies: - LARPing - diorama creating - fictional map-making - stop-motion animation creation - cosplay

Media Consumption Hobbies: - watching critical role - playing bloodborne - playing dark souls or any other soulsverse games - watching slasher movies - listening to goth, metal, or dark cabaret music Dislikes: - authority - the number four (he's scared of it after the end of the game, because of... secret reasons) - cheese - pizza - sweet dessert (unless it's coated in ketchup or sour cream, questionable taste, I know 😯) - being told what to do Fave animal (besides butterflies): Pangolins That's it! Well done if you got this far, thank you, bye! 🤭

[insecateur]

thank you for the reviews, I enjoyed reading all of them ! Here is part 2 : Johanna & Keira, Rowan & Cynthia, Rowan & Oak, Looker & Jupiter (for the anime), Roark & Gardenia, Cheryl & Gardenia, Gardenia & Fantina, Cheryl & Riley, Maylene & Candice, Fantina & Dahlia, Riley & Roark, Riley & Byron, Eldritch & his wife (lol), Volkner & Roark, Flint & Jasmine, Cynthia & Lucian, Marley & Dawn, Palmer & Darach, Darach & Caitlin, Caitlin & Thorton, Thorton & Palmer, Buck & Mira and Buck & Marley. Phew

OUAGH ANON SORRY I ALMOST FORGOT BC I WAS WORKING ON SOMETHING!!! i'm gonna put a cut because there are a lot

johanna/keira: okay looking into these those are the protag's mom and a contest judge from the manga??? i don't know enough about them to have an opinion tbh i don't rly care. good for them i guess!!

rowan/cynthia: if i was going to ship rowan with someone i see him as having been a mentor figure to it would be augustine tbh. in general i don't rly care much for shipping cynthia with men who aren't cyrus

rowan/oak: old man yaoi. it's fine!! no real opinion about it i think but it's always fun when old men are gay together

looker/jupiter: uhh no idk i don't care

roark/gardenia: sure why not.

cheryl/gardenia: OKAY YES good i believe in this one. they should date

gardenia/fantina: sure why not.

cheryl/riley: THE LUCARIO GUY? i can't ship him with anyone i feel like he would be too dedicated to his relationship with his lucario and it'd ruin all of his dates. like people who are just more into their pets than other humans. which is valid tbh but yeah

maylene/candice: sure. that sounds cute.

fantina/dahlia: OH YEAH FOR SURE!! they should dance together.

riley/roark: okay they seem like they would both be super into their own thing which is a point in their favor i guess i still think riley couldn't score a date tho

riley/byron: byron should date me tbh. also he is roark's DAD this should be the weirdest love triangle ever actually

eldritch/his wife: i don't know him. i'm sorry i've only rly only read pokéspé xy lol MY APOLOGIES… I HOPE THEY'RE HAPPY THO

volkner/roark: sure why not.

flint/jasmine: sure why not ???

cynthia/lucian: see what i said about cynthia/men in my previous answer involving her

marley/dawn: sure, marley is rly cute. they would be cute together i think

palmer/darach: oh man i didn't remember the butler guy was called darach in english. yeah why not

darach/caitlin: no… i do like him being her loyal butler but not rly feeling that one tbh

caitlin/thorton: this is rly funny to imagine. sure why not. thorton should get a hot gf.

thorton/palmer: this is a good candidate for one-sided crush i think. thorton trying to impress palmer could be cute

buck/mira: so many characters have relatives in this game i understand why they picked it for the PLA ancestors stuff tbh. no opinion on that one i just don't care about these characters at all i don't even know if i've ever seen them in-game ever dshdh

buck/marley: Sure Why Not.

[kadebronson]

ok i finally have a moment to type up about my c2e2 weekend

well it unfortunately started with a run to the DMV so i could get my ID because the site was kind of cryptic saying that everyone needed to have an ID on them at all times which like..... no one got carded but it was definitely needed for all the after hours stuff we did so whatever

and then i rushed to get ready to meet up with my friend rowan that i met through a transmasc fan discord for ofmd he came in for the convention but decided to be a bit early and stay a bit late to do all the typical chicago tourist stuff so i just him and his friends at their hotel and we hung out at the hotel bar

then saturday was the pirate day! i started the day meeting even more of people i met thru ofmd fandom and we did a quick walk around the con before getting into line for the panel so we got good seats (and we got such great seats!) and the panel was actually so good! i usually don't like watching panels and even being an ADHD dude with hyperfixations i usually don't even watch them because the second hand embarrassment is too much but it was just SO much fun! like you can tell they all really love being a part of the show and the fan questions were actually all so good

we had out photos after that and it was intense they really do rush you through those we did our samba photo first and he was so excited he was like "oh yes! knife happy roach! got it!" then we had our picture with kristian who is just the sweetest and then the trio together which was so funny rowan really wanted us to do prom picture so we decided that he was gonna stand with vico, abbi with kristian, ally with samba, and i was gonna stand to the side and pretend to be depressed i was dateless

and we get in and say "prom pose" and i strike my pose and the photographer laughed at me before realizing that vico's partner, who was sitting to the side and watching, was going "NO PROM PROM" because none of the actors really got it lmao so they let us redo it i can only imagine what the first pic looked like lol

and then i had my individual vico photo which was my gift to myself this year and i just walked in and was like "can i have a hug" and they were like "OF COURSE" and just pulled me in and i quickly got to say my planned "i love you thank you so much for jim" and was like backing out and they had honestly been getting yelled at by c2e2 staff for taking too long because they were like "of course by the way i LOVE your hair" and i'm like "omg thank you" as i'm still backing out because the staff are GLARING lol

rowan was on a panel for "found family trope in our flag means death" so we went to that and it was so cute and i teared up tbqh but yeah he gave a shout out like "yeah like most i found so many amazing people through this fandom and i even got to meet a friend from the transmasc discord server i'm in HI NOAH" lol

then we did a quick walk around artist alley because it closed so early we thought we'd have time to do the official meet up first but we knew we wouldn't make it and i am a bit sad i missed it but i got a shorty from killer klowns from outer space plushie and i love him so worth it

saturday night was karaoke then and some of my other friends julie and krys had planned that out and rented a private room that we then chipped in for and so it was all of us just hanging out in a nice sectioned off room and could enjoy ourselves and sing without worrying

and somehow i wasn't hungover and made it to drag brunch where one of our friends was in full kraken era ed cosplay and got pulled up on stage and roasted by the MC and we got kinda drunk again on mimosas but we still made it to the actual con although rowan only had some autos and then his individual vico photo i just kinda hung around i tried to find some more cool stuff but sadly i couldn't find any ofmd stuff really i did get one ed charm but i also got some great patches for my vest which i definitely could always use more patches for my vest

me and rowan had a bit of a quiet evening we ordered some food and watched ofmd (naturally) and then i had to head home because i couldn't really take off work so i went to work half dead and then me and rowan met up again after he had done the rest of his touristy stuff (he went to the bean of course and i ragged on him a bit for that) and we just hung out like lumps until he had to leave for his plane home (and i had to start dnd i know rip me) 

i miss everyone so much already and i had such a great time like i only had a couple con experiences and they weren't great but ofmd fandom is honestly so awesome i had such a wonderful time so much so that even though i'm like i'm sad it's over i haven't had a post con depression as it were lol

but yeah i'm so exhausted now and for some reason i'm still making myself try to type up my writing today so now i gotta go do that before i pass out

well it unfortunately started with a run to the DMV so i could get my ID because the site was kind of cryptic saying that everyone needed to have an ID on them at all times which like..... no one got carded but it was definitely needed for all the after hours stuff we did so whatever

and then i rushed to get ready to meet up with my friend rowan that i met through a transmasc fan discord for ofmd he came in for the convention but decided to be a bit early and stay a bit late to do all the typical chicago tourist stuff so i just him and his friends at their hotel and we hung out at the hotel bar

then saturday was the pirate day! i started the day meeting even more of people i met thru ofmd fandom and we did a quick walk around the con before getting into line for the panel so we got good seats (and we got such great seats!) and the panel was actually so good! i usually don't like watching panels and even being an ADHD dude with hyperfixations i usually don't even watch them because the second hand embarrassment is too much but it was just SO much fun! like you can tell they all really love being a part of the show and the fan questions were actually all so good

we had out photos after that and it was intense they really do rush you through those we did our samba photo first and he was so excited he was like "oh yes! knife happy roach! got it!" then we had our picture with kristian who is just the sweetest and then the trio together which was so funny rowan really wanted us to do prom picture so we decided that he was gonna stand with vico, abbi with kristian, ally with samba, and i was gonna stand to the side and pretend to be depressed i was dateless

and we get in and say "prom pose" and i strike my pose and the photographer laughed at me before realizing that vico's partner, who was sitting to the side and watching, was going "NO PROM PROM" because none of the actors really got it lmao so they let us redo it i can only imagine what the first pic looked like lol

and then i had my individual vico photo which was my gift to myself this year and i just walked in and was like "can i have a hug" and they were like "OF COURSE" and just pulled me in and i quickly got to say my planned "i love you thank you so much for jim" and was like backing out and they had honestly been getting yelled at by c2e2 staff for taking too long because they were like "of course by the way i LOVE your hair" and i'm like "omg thank you" as i'm still backing out because the staff are GLARING lol

rowan was on a panel for "found family trope in our flag means death" so we went to that and it was so cute and i teared up tbqh but yeah he gave a shout out like "yeah like most i found so many amazing people through this fandom and i even got to meet a friend from the transmasc discord server i'm in HI NOAH" lol

then we did a quick walk around artist alley because it closed so early we thought we'd have time to do the official meet up first but we knew we wouldn't make it and i am a bit sad i missed it but i got a shorty from killer klowns from outer space plushie and i love him so worth it

saturday night was karaoke then and some of my other friends julie and krys had planned that out and rented a private room that we then chipped in for and so it was all of us just hanging out in a nice sectioned off room and could enjoy ourselves and sing without worrying

and somehow i wasn't hungover and made it to drag brunch where one of our friends was in full kraken era ed cosplay and got pulled up on stage and roasted by the MC and we got kinda drunk again on mimosas but we still made it to the actual con although rowan only had some autos and then his individual vico photo i just kinda hung around i tried to find some more cool stuff but sadly i couldn't find any ofmd stuff really i did get one ed charm but i also got some great patches for my vest which i definitely could always use more patches for my vest

me and rowan had a bit of a quiet evening we ordered some food and watched ofmd (naturally) and then i had to head home because i couldn't really take off work so i went to work half dead and then me and rowan met up again after he had done the rest of his touristy stuff (he went to the bean of course and i ragged on him a bit for that) and we just hung out like lumps until he had to leave for his plane home (and i had to start dnd i know rip me) 

i miss everyone so much already and i had such a great time like i only had a couple con experiences and they weren't great but ofmd fandom is honestly so awesome i had such a wonderful time so much so that even though i'm like i'm sad it's over i haven't had a post con depression as it were lol

but yeah i'm so exhausted now and for some reason i'm still making myself try to type up my writing today so now i gotta go do that before i pass out

[sysig]

February? Time to watch Halloween episodes from three years ago

[yabai-korra]

The reasons why we're getting Manorian book

There has been a lot of speculation whether SJM is going to favor us with book/novella about Manon Blackbeak and Dorian Havilliard, recently I saw some fans doubting it, so here's a list of logical reasons why it's happening.

1. It's SJM

This woman writes two 500+ pages books per year, for her it would be a piece of cake.

2. There have already been books focused on side characters

a) Chaol and Yrene - Chaol was one of the most unpopular characters before Tower of Dawn (which made me love him hehe) and she still wrote a 600+ pages long book about him, just imagine what she'd do with the most popular character (Manon) and one of the most popular ones (Dorian).

b) Nesta and Cassian - this is ship is the closest to Manorian equivalent in ACOTAR series, aka starting from a physical relationship that develops into a sentimental one. Also 6th ACOTAR book will be focused on a new characters (most probably Elain)

3. Favoritism

SJM has talked multiple times about her love for these two. When asked about her favorite TOG character, she said Aelin, but Manon was a close second place and she said that she absolutely loves writing her.

In another interview, when asked who she would go on a book tour with and a few similar questions, she answered Dorian.

Now, I haven't seen all of her interviews ever and I'm not sure how much she loves Nessian and Cahorene (seems to love Nessian a hella lot tho), but it's definite that Manorian are some of her favorite characters and it's just logical that she would write about them.

4. Unfinished story/Unresolved feelings

Ships at the end of TOG:

Rowaelin - married

Elorcan - engaged

Lysaedion - engaged

Chaorene - married with a baby on the way

Nestaq - engaged

Manorian - hug and "we'll see"

All the ships basically got engaged in the last chapter (it's not like I didn't like it hehe) and their stories, romantic-wise, were pretty much finished and they have no unresolved tension between them. Manorian on the other hand, have enough of it for all the ships lol.

KOA spoilers ahead!

Keep in mind, Manorian relationship was mostly a sexual one, and they don't quite yet have a way of communicating their feelings properly. So there is a lot of unaddressed between them, even though they obviously care a lot about each other.

The unresolved things between Manon and Dorian:

"“And if I asked you to stay?” / “I’d need a very convincing reason, I suppose.” / “Because I don’t want you to go.” - they just fucked and Dorian left for Morath later, which impacted Manon a lot but they haven't discussed it

"I even care about you." - Manon got up and left

"There is only one witch who will be my queen." - Manon doesn't know about this

Manon saved Dorian from Valg demon even when Aelin couldn't. It was the worst thing to happen to Dorian and he still bears scars from it, yet he didn't have an appropriate situation to thank Manon for it

Dorian knows that Erawan lusted after Manon, which got him pissed of course, and he didn't have a chance nor time to ask Manon about it. It might be nothing, but if I were Dorain and my girlfriend who doesn't show feelings was locked up with a crazy guy who has a thing for her, and have seen the way he treats women, I'd be concerned. Erawan was a Valg king, a tough opponent even for Manon. If he had done something to her, and he had plenty of means and opportunities and wish to do so, Manon would never openly tell anyone (maybe Asterin) about it, because it would imply opening up and being weak, which is Manon's worst fear. Again, SJM, as the Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just randomly throw in the main villain having a thing for an important character, everything in her books always has a meaning and purpose.

"Would you miss me if I didn't [come back]?" - Manon didn't reply

This is how SJM described Manorian marriage: "She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it." - and you're telling me it's not deserving of its own book? Not just that, Manon asked Dorian for marriage and they, again, just had sex, with Dorian loving the idea but deep down knowing that Manon would feel caged in a marriage. And that attitude won't just change out of the blue. It takes time and development which is something SJM writes amazingly.

With the Thirteen gone, beside Abraxos Dorian is the only creature Manon cares about.

Dorian's mortality (although as you'll see in point #6 I'm sure he's not human)

The dreaded "You could just marry each other." / "We'll see." (Thanks Yrene :)

5. Foreshadowing

Listen here, SJM IS THE QUEEN OF FORESHADOWING. She thought of a detail (Dorian's dad's name) in the first book that would matter in the last book. Of course, there are many many many more examples of that, but if we got "We'll see." then we'll fucking see it happen.

6. Unresolved things about Manon and Dorian as individual characters.

Manon and Dorian and both pretty broken at the end of KOA.

Manon lost the Thirteen, the only people she cared about. That is a huge trauma that needs to be addressed, especially with someone so reluctant to show feelings and heal like Manon.

Dorian can't be human?? He has fae abilities due to his relation to Gavin and Elena even though he's not even called a demi-fae. He possesses powers no one else does, phantom hands for example, which he didn't steal like shape-shifting. And Maeve pointed out that due to his father being possessed by Valg when Dorian was sired, it's possible he got some of the Valg abilities. (Also she said that he's stronger than Aelin) The main villain, especially written by Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just let drop it there and that's it. Also not to mention Dorian's own struggle with depression and self-worth.

They have both just become rulers of their kingdoms, completely new to it. Dorian has spent a big part of KOA imagining what kind of a king he wants to be (one that will have a witch queen hehe) and it was a major point of his character. And addition to that affecting them as characters, the future of Adarlan and Witch Kingdom could make a good plotline.

7. Other TOG characters

Although pretty much all the readers would die to see Chaorene baby, Lorcan in Perranth, Aelin and Rowan ruling Terrasen, Lysandra and Adeion officially adopting Evangeline, Nesryn and Sartaq becoming Khagan and Empress of Antica, all of these don't make enough of a plot on its own. They are great side-plots.

We know all of these characters love each other and are happy together, there isn't that much to be added to their personal stories other than kids. (same way Feyre and Rhys got a baby in Nessian book) Manorian however, they haven't even kissed without it leading to sex, they hugged at the end of KOA and it was the pique of their relationship. Their relationship is merely at the beginning, whereas others have pretty much reached their ultimatum (ofc SJM can decide to add some drama with betrayal, kidnapping, pregnancy etc. but for now everyone is good and settled beside Manorian)

Not to mention the way other relationships would affect them. Chaol, Dorian's brother, and Yrene, Manon's wannabe bestie and Manorian shipper, would bring their baby to meet his/her uncle Dorian and aunt Manon, and imagine Manon with a baby lol.

SJM loves Aelin and other characters way too much not to give us an insight on them as married couples, but since her books are huge and it's her, it needs a plot with drama, addressing traumas, repressed feelings, worldbuilding, and sex, and Manorian's got all of that.

8. Abraxos

We need more Abraxos, that's just a fact.

Wow that was a long one. Anyways, in conclusion, we're getting that Manorian book. Pretty sure it's gonna a book rather than a novella (TOD was also planned as a novella but then guess what) because there is just SO MUCH possible content.

[justreadertings]

Elia and Elliott 2

So I may or may not be making a habit of writing fanfiction for fanfiction. I just can’t help it! I love Ms @morganofthewildfire​ ‘s Same Time Thursday just too much! Aelin and Rowan are SJM’s characters, but our leading ladies are all Morgan’s. This is not only a gift, but also a desperate plea for more STT lol. More notes at the end. Also this is my first time actually posting writing to my account, so if it’s a little funky, I apologize. Pls enjoy :))) 

-

-

“Lottie, I really need my brush, can I just come in for a minute?” There wasn’t a response from the other side of the bathroom door, only music turned louder. Elia huffed. She was being perfectly reasonable. “Elliott.” Her knock turned more aggressive.

“Whoever is pounding that door, quit it!” Elia ignored her littlest brother, who talked exactly like their father instead of the little kid he was.

The music turned even louder. Great. Elia frowned and put her ear against the door. It was hard to block out the sounds of- wait, was that Folklore? Elliott never listened to Elia’s music, she said listening to sad Taylor Swift always made her feel guilty for reasons she couldn’t explain. Elia pressed her ear even closer to the door, listened hard- and then she heard it. 

Deciding it was worth the risk of her sister killing her for intruding, Elia popped the lock on the door and eased it open. And, just like she thought, there was Elliott, crying.

Elliott was brushing her hair and sobbing simultaneously in the mirror, her long blonde and blue hair reaching nearly her back. Her eyeliner that extended far beyond the corner of her eyes was smudged- but she paid it no heed- just continued crying and brushing. 

Elia just reached over to the speaker to turn down “This Is Me Trying”. Jesus. Elia swallowed, easing the door closed, and hopped up on the counter. 

“Hey,” she said, softly. 

Elliott just heaved another heavy sob. “Hey.”

Elia’s eyebrows were nearly to her hairline. This was spooky. Sometimes she forgot her sister had… human emotions. “What’s goin on?”

Her sister just cried some more. Elia was wondering if she should just go get their dad. But when she slowly slid off the counter, Elliott caught her wrist. “Don’t get mom and dad.”

Worry now turned into slight panic. What the hell was going on?

Elia only nodded, even as her insides were panicking. She just tucked a piece of blue hair behind her ears, deciding now was not the time to ask for her little snake earrings back. “Why not? What’s going on?”

Elliott shook her head, blubbering. Finally, she admitted, “Tara broke up with me.” Which resulted in another round of tears.

Elia was frozen. She rubbed her kingsflame tattoo on the inside of her wrist, her nervous habit. She had met Tara like… three times. Elliott had never mentioned them dating. It must’ve been a recent development.

“And now I have to go to this stupid party beacause I promised Jason I would, and him and Alex have this whole thing and I don’t want to be a crappy friend but she’s gonna be there and it’s gonna be so awful.” Elia only listened with wide eyes as Elliott sobbed it out. It seemed she’d really been keeping it in. “And everyone knows we broke up because she has her whole thing with Sophie and it’s going to be absolutely humiliating. And I have a headache now and I’m gonna look terrible and I’m not even going to have fun with Abby before she leaves for college next week.” 

Elia tilted her head, brushing her fingers through Elliott’s hair. She knew her sister. Knew that if she was this upset she needed a healthy balance of jokes and comfort hidden with actual advice to aid her in the moment. 

“Do you absolutely have to go to this party?”

“Yes.”

“When is the party?”

“Seven.”

Elia’s eyes flitted to the clock. “It’s six twenty now, so we’re in good shape. You don’t want to be there on the dot, right?”

“Yeah.”

Elia nodded. “Ok, well then here’s the plan.”

“Plan?”

Elia nodded again, grabbing Elliott’s shoulders. “First, we are going to change out of these clothes. While we’re doing that, your face will cool down and be less puffy so we can reapply your eyeliner. You’re also going to take an excedrin for your headache and drink an entire glass of water. When did you last eat?”

“I had leftover pancakes at like… noon.”

“Ok, well then I’ll also grab something small and manageable. You got a stomach ache?”

Elliott nodded. Pressed her fingers together. “Little one.”

“Right. Ok, so while we find you a new outfit, and that medicine is kicking in, you’re gonna tell me about this party. Who’s there, what’s the general vibe. Good guys and bad guys type of thing. Then, I’m gonna do the braid thing in your hair because you are going to this party, and you’re going to look super hot, and Tara’s gonna suck it. Do you understand me?”

Elliott’s face was all puffy and red, and she seemed to only believe her a little bit. Still, relief swept through Elia swiftly when Elliott saluted her. “Sir yes sir.”

-

“It’s like ninety degrees out, you should’ve been wearing a long sleeved shirt anyway,” Elia told her. She handed her a granola bar. “Don’t get crumbs on my bed,” Elia warned her, beginning to dig through her drawers.

“Ah! Found it!” Elliott was very lucky she was on her day off, because Elia had the perfect top. She handed her a crocheted, lacy kind of bra, kind of tank top thing that tied around the neck and back. “Wear this. With your ripped jeans.”

Elliott took it from her with hesitation. “Really? You love this top.”

It was true. Elia did love that top. She wore it with her orange velvet seventies pants that made her ass look amazing, and with her mom’s pretty pearl earrings. It was one of her favorite outfits. And she knew that the top was basically magic, which was pretty much exactly what Elliott needed right about now. 

“Take the top, Lottie.” She smiled, but then pointed an accusing finger at her. “But if you get something on it, I will kill you.”

“Duly noted.”

Elia smiled again. She passed her mirror, catching a glimpse of them both in her room, and noticed again how different they seemed. For starters, Elia was in her pink pajama shorts with stars on them, with her favorite sleep shirt that had little suns and daisies on it. It said: It’s easy being green. Her red hair hung around near her waist, with a sparkly headband keeping it pulled out of her face. Her sister’s hair was almost just as long, but it was blonde with blue streaks and she had her bangs pulled to either side of her face with tiny little clips. Her sister seemed super cool, while arguably still a little sad and teary eyed. But Elia knew their faces were very similar. That they both had their mother’s features- anyone would know they were the Whitethorn Sisters.

“So what’s this party’s deal anyway?” 

Elliott rolled her eyes, turning to change her outfit as Elia rifled through her pins and hair ties. “I don’t know. It was Frankie’s idea, so…”

“Oh. So is this like,” Elia cringed, trying to find a way to phrase it. “Like a fun party?”

Elliott threw her a look over her shoulder. “What? No. I just said Jason’s going to be there.”

“Jason doesn’t have to partake in the fun to still be at the party,” Elia pointed out.

“He would never go to a party where there’s drinks. Have you met him? Why do you think it’s a fun party anyway?”

Elia made a face. “It’s Frankie.”

A sigh. “Yeah, I see your point. But to answer your question- no. It’s just gonna be… us hanging out.”

Elia cringed. “Sounds… awkward.”

“No shit.” Elliott finally came over to the vanity. “You’re right,” she said after a minute. “This is a magic top.”

Elia smiled. “I told you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Elia pulled her fingers through a bit of Elliott’s hair. She pushed on her little sister’s shoulders to make her sit, even if she had about an inch on her. Elia was just glad she was a bit taller than their mom. Both Eden and Emerson were going to be taller than her, and Elliott’s heights had always beaten her’s on the kitchen wall when they’d been little. Elliott had never really done well with “losing”. 

Which was exactly why it was Elia’s mission to make it so Elliott won. Against Tara. She wasn’t all too familiar with the whole “getting back at exes” thing herself, but she’d always been really good at it with her friends. And, despite only recognizing about three of the people’s names her sister mentioned who were attending this party, Elia was sure her sister was going to be the coolest one there. Or so help her god.

“Clips?” Elliott handed them to her as she loosened her bangs and began braiding along her head to make a crown. They worked in amicable silence, her braiding and Elliott handing her the clips to pin it. Once Elia was done, she squeezed her bare shoulders, resting her chin on them to look in the mirror.

“There,” she said. “So pretty.”

Elliott gave her half of a smile. After a moment, she said, “thanks. Really.”

Elia gave her a great, smacking kiss on the cheek. “No problem,” she said, cheery.

“Ugh!” Elliott pushed her off, wiping her cheek. 

Elia just smiled. “You’re gonna kick this party’s ass.”

“I’m going to kick this party’s ass,” Elliott repeated. 

“Uh uh. Not enough venom.” Elia spun the chair so Elliott was looking right at her. “You’re Elliott freaking Whitethorn. The same girl who cyberbullied a junior when she wasn’t even a freshman yet because he wouldn’t stop hitting on me. What did you say to him again?”

Now, Elliott gave her a full, wicked smile that was so very their mother’s. “I said he had crippling can’t get laid disease.”

Elia knew that story- Elliott told it all the time. She knew that it always brought out that smile and confidence. “You’re going to kick this party’s ass.”

“I’m gonna kick this party’s ass!”

“Girls.” They both turned to the door, where their mother stood, hands on her hips. “Language. Please.”

Elia frowned, but Elliott poked her head around and told her, matter-of-factly, “But mom, I do need to kick this party’s ass.”

They had never known their mother to not give into her curiosity. “Why’s that?”

Hook. Line. Sinker.

“Tara broke my stupid little heart. So I’m going to be the hottest one there and ignore her.” Elliott waved her hand. “Or at least, that’s Lia’s plan.”

Elia knew that the information was news to her mom, too. She’d spent long enough gossiping with her to know her mom’s faces, and that one said, we’ll talk later, to her. Elia gave a slight nod. “That’s quite the plan. How very vengeful of you, sweetheart.”

Elia shrugged. “Thought it would be good.”

“Better than the crying,” Elliott said, flippintly. 

Their mother’s eyes assessed her youngest daughter's face, then both of them. Elia could see her calculating all of it. She knew the second Elliott was out that door, she was getting the Aelin and Rowan Third Degree. They were very good detectives. 

“Yes well, you look lovely. Jason driving you home?”

Before Elliott could answer, Elia said, “She’s taking Henrietta.”

Her mom lifted a brow. “Really?”

Elliott caught her eye for a second, and Elia just shrugged. “Yup,” Elliott said.

“Ok, honey. Your car, your rules.” She pointed at Elliott. “Be safe. Have fun.” She peered around the corner, to where Elia assumed was her brothers’ room. When she found them closed, she said, albeit a bit quieter, “And kick that party’s ass. If you must.”

Elliott saluted her. “Will do.”

Their mother gave them one last look, then shot one at Elia, and was on her way. Elliott turned in her chair, her eyebrows high. “I’m taking Henrietta?” 

“Tara’s the one who got on you about the lack of driving, right?” Elliott nodded. “Give her something else to regret.”

Elliott smiled. “I like it when you’re vengeful.”

“Well, enjoy it now. It’s a rare occurrence.”

“Tell me about it,” Elliott mumbled.

Elia pinched her arm. “Do you want the keys or not?”

“Keys! Keys!”

Elia frowned, but fished them out of her little shell dish by her door. Before handing them off, she warned, “Do anything to my baby, and I’ll skin you.” Elliott’s eyes widened. “Oh, and she needs gas.”

Elliott rolled her eyes and took the keys. “Will do.”

She looked at the time. “Time to go.”

A worried look came back into Elliott’s eyes. “You don’t think I should just chicken out, right?”

“Ugh, don’t be lame.”

Elliott hit her arm. “Hey!”

“What?” Elia dodged another whack. “I was doing my best you impression. Tough love. Plus,” she pulled at the Magic Top, “You have magic on your side.”

Elliott nodded. Took a few deep breaths. “Ok. I’ve got this.”

“You got this.”

“Magic top. Car keys. Hot body.”

“You got this.”

Elia smiled as Elliott crossed the threshold of the door, on her merry way. Her smile was interrupted by an extremely quick kiss to her cheek. 

“Thanks Lia!” Elliott called as she ran down the stairs.

Elia ran to the banister. “Kick that party’s ass!” She reminded with a grin.

“Language!” Her papa yelled from somewhere downstairs. 

Elliott turned one more time in the open doorway to pause and give her a thumbs up.

Elia only waved bye. Unexpected, quick tears came to her eyes after her sister left. She only wiped them, and made her way to the kitchen, preparing for the third degree from her parents. 

-

-

Ok, so there it is :) I just love these girls so much! And, some Magee Trivia- the story of Elliott cyberbullying a creepy guy before she was even a freshman may or may not be directly taken from events in my life. Just sister things, I suppose.

[acourtofquestions]

EMPIRE OF STORMS :

— Chapter 65 - 75 —

10 Chapters left (either a little less or more than 100 pages)

*post to be added onto as I read*

Binge-reading-day-time (to finish it off😭) Tower of Dawn at the ready, bonus chapter saved & on hand

… and whatever the heck this post template is 🤷‍♀️ to add onto with rambling & insanity & quotes & emotions so we shall see what happens… this post shall live update (idk if that works here… we’ll find out… I may also just go read in a cave for a week, grieve & wear all black, & them come out eventually… mostly it’s here because I don’t want to post 80 times & flood the feed for historical fangirl purposes (if you wanna know follow this post if not skip it :-) & more so I’m too tired (it’s been a LONG week) & too far into fangirling & feels mode to edit lol) 🤦‍♀️🙃

(of course spoiler warnings cause these 10 chapters & earlier books are on the table for discussion if not already specifically the discussion itself) & of course please be aware or give spoiler warnings for me too within interactions of this post (I am only to EoS Ch. 65 rn) and now *drumroll please* the spoiler “more” bar of safety & feed spam semi-prevention🤞

Final warning: this post will probably be ridiculously long!!! So… read at your own risk… it may be rambling, artsy, incoherent, boring, filled with nothing, or like 75 pages😅 — I mostly make these posts cause it’s fun for me to look back & see when & what I thought on a first read; I love talking fandoms with y’all about it, but like plz skip these posts if you don’t like them😂 not even I know what this will be🤣

Current Pre-Read RAMBLE:

I NEED MY BRAIN TO STOP HUMMING “HOW DID IT END”😭 — It is also replaying the John Mulaney quote: “I try to stay optimistic, even though I must admit things are getting pretty sticky.”🤣 … legit don’t think any other series has had so many problems at once, like maybe the final scenes of Deathly Hallows, but I’ve still got two more VERY (thankfully) long books… so…

Current theories (just finished Chapter 64, as previous post addressed): I think Aelin & Rowan may have had a secret wedding, both based on SJM style, the fact Rowan feels like King & Aelin will not leave him (I still don’t know why the “spark died”), and random fandom knowledge that isn’t clear but has led me to believe it. I think Elena may be Manon’s ancestor as well as Aelin’s both due to the moon white hair descriptions, Yen/Yang yet the same “dyad” vibe they have, & the eye belonging to both. I’m really hopeful that everyone’s side plots will come in handy, Aelin while lost seems to have something, Rowan’s calling all his cousins, Aedion is ready for war, we have Lysandra who’s a friggin dragon, and maybe Abraxos will show up with all the 13 and Petrah’s clan and I’m going with that because I refuse to accept any other answer. I am concerned there is going to be a betrayal of some sort, a revealing of info from long ago, and some possible faked deaths. I’m intrigued by repeating lines like the terms “endure”, “yield”, “live”, “hold the line”, or plots like “time” “ash” etc.

What the heck does Maeve want (worried about the way she gets revenge), definitely don’t trust the keys or the lock (though I’ve got faith in Manon & Aelin as a team + Dorian’s smarts), & don’t trust any of these plots. Or any of their self-sacrificial tendencies. Also I need everyone to admit there mates/soulmates already because it’s pretty dang clear *coughs* I’m looking at you Elorcan, Manorian, Lysaedion (ok I’ll give yall some credit for going slow), & ROWAELIN (my gods how have you not yet?). Also Aedion dude I love you but why are you being like this but also mood. And Rowan’s sad eyes could kill me. COME ON ELIDE SMARTS SAVE US! Let’s go team, we’ve got Ansel, let’s go Grettles SOMEONE SHOW UP AND SAVE THE DAY replenish the power LETS GO!!!

Quotes I think are about to come full circle: The Queen Who Was Promised … The Threads of Fate — hoping? Nameless is my price. — I am terrified of this one … And I’ve got a feeling the answer to your first question (ghost-Queen Elena Galathynius) is no, I don’t think I’m going to be able to forgive you for whatever you’re about to do😅😂.

Wondering?: what is Maeve’s power (I think I forgot), I still wanna know more about Fenrys & how his powers work (I’m worried about his twin), trying to remember what the stone from Kaltain is & how many Wyrdkeys we have? … why do I feel like someone’s gonna break out shadow fire… or Aelin’s water powers… just something!

Worried: it’s the Valg, and they haven’t been doing their posses/mind-trip thing (did Lysandra go through it) and with Maeve I don’t see her not having some connection to Erawan & I’m worried over all of it. Also Lorcan as a character (because this entire book he’s been under a death sentence & he would die for Elide). Rowan & Aelin because they are always ready to die together. Slightly less for Aedion cause he’s determined to fight for a life with Lysandra, hoping Lysandra shares that instead of “save my friends even if I have to die for it”. Still crying over Dorian’s line & simultaneously holding onto THE FEAR OF LOSS quote cause IT IS DESTROYING ME JUST AS MUCH so I can try to take Ardions advice and hope that’s enough torture for Maas to leave my bb’s be😂

Hoping for: that⬆️ they’ll be fine (I know it won’t be but I need this) & maybe some more throwbacks LETS GET SOME SPIDERSILK GUYS

But I’m loving the character growth, interactions, and friendships; and in a small way am stupidly optimistic (because I need them to be okay) & I know-I know, something happens I just don’t know what & don’t want to but have to & aghhhhh time to read

Chapter 65:

this is giving MAJOR NIGHTFALL vibes (with a minor in HoF Aelin’s past paralells/vibes). LETS GO FIREHEART, SHOW UP ELENA, ITS GOTTA BE EROWAN IN THE TOMB—THATS GOTTA BE GOOD—WHY DOES EVERYTHING SEEM LIKE DOOM?

I can summarize this chapter by saying the tears have begun.

LOST MEMORIES… okay this is really feeling like deathly hallows

They talk about the lock like it’s a living thing?

I’ve been watching too much TVD & now I’m scared of everyone getting trapped in coffins/sarcophagi

ALWAYS WITH “THE PRICE”

Ten years

Always that word “fool”

Wait Elena was Demi-fae? — did I miss or forget this?

Anything… but not that.

The three goddesses… wait… was one Maeve??? was one hella or annieth?? too many questions!!! too much information!!! MY SOUL HURTS! AGH!

“They were as mighty and vast and eternal as a human was to a mayfly” — how does Maas make everything so poetic

So you’re telling me Erowan is one of them too — shit — why couldn’t we have killed the duke like chapter one?😭

HOLY SHIT — Did ELENA kill Aelin’s parents?? — How many plots have been running? The world’s longest long game… this is seriously… I don’t know rather to curse say wow cry or reevaluate my life and I’m only barely in… HERE WE GO INDEED

As mad as I am at Elena I kinda think this is the worst punishment, one that isn’t yours… like… I almost pity Elena. Knowing her children were raised to die. Watching for hundreds of years as everything she loved died and fell to ruin. All because she was foolish because she wanted to save them.

She and Aelin are far more alike than I knew… but she shaped Aelin to be different… to listen… those edges have been taken off by tragedy… that Elena caused…

It’s Dorian or Aelin. It has always been one or the other. Aelin the Queen they need. Or Dorian the witches soulmate. Lambs to slaughter. — MOTHERFU-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-No-NONONO-NOPE!☠️ I WILL NOT LOSE EITHER OF THEM — ARE YOU KIDDING ME (this isn’t the cauldron😭) … wait but is Amren one of them😅🤣? But NO! These are THE MAIN characters! We are not losing them. No. No way. Nope! — IF ROWAELIN PULLS A ROMEO & JULIET I WILL LOSE IT

Nehemia knew and that’s why she made Aelin promise😭…

Also RHIANNON CROCHAN!!! — BESTIES???

Guess I’m gonna need these rants for any chance at keeping my sanity & breathing while reading😅😂

CHAPTER 66:

YES COURT OF TERRASEN — This is all there is to say.

Why is the mention on Rhoe and Evelin getting me all emotional?

“His real father” — oh that’s why — crap does that mean Gavriels gonna die?

Okay so egging on is Aedion’s style maybe that’s what’s been going on a little bit too

Also Rowan using a flair of white light? Did he pick up some Aelin tricks?

“To alter what the gods had made to her own liking” — my gods I love her GENIUS

SHE CAN TURN HERSELF INTO SPIDERSILK — HOLY WOW — okay so can she just become anything now?

“The court that could change the world” — I don’t know whether to laugh cry scream or all of the above

A promise to Aedion🥹

I LOVE LYSANDRA — this isn’t new it’s just EVERY CHAPTER👏🫰👑

Things are going so well it’s scaring me — Oh yeah I just remembered we still don’t know how to wield the locks, only that you have to die for it (so cool, no worries, only hope is the amulet still kinda worked after… but haha… yeah that’s gonna be a problem…) thanks brain for reminding me

Rowan knows how to use the rage THAT’S how he taught Aelin

“Ice coated his veins his heart” — I think it’s also cause there’s no Manon… but we knew Rowan’s training would come in handy

What is Aedion trying to say? Die so she’s pissed and kills everyone? I’m confused… like I think I get it I think he’s saying trust in her let the others fear don’t let fear get you killed but it also doesn’t quite add up to me

She might very well end the world for rage — an ongoing one that she fears… perhaps it’s just saying how powerful she and her love and consequential rage are? At least it’s not judgement cause he does say — Maybe she should. Maybe the world deserved it.

“Maybe Manon Blackbeak would help her do it. Maybe they’d rule over the ruins together.” — what was that vision again… wait where’s Dorian in it?

Dorian is giving Cassian vibes of I only regret not having more time with you

COME ON MAELIN (whatever Manon + Aelin friendship is named) I KNOW THIS WONT END WELL BUT COME ON… I get more nervous the more Maas warns

DORIAN HAS FIRE POWER??? — Will they mistake it for Aelin?

I’ve been worried/wondering this for a while but how does magic affect the humans? Like Aelin never burns herself… maybe cause she’s fae? But she has almost cooked from the inside out… what about Dorian? Does being human mean the flame could kill him?

Still they held the line

Dorian you didn’t fail😭

“BUT ROWAN WHITETHORN HAD NOT.” — oh HECK YES — REBELLION!!! BETRAY MAEVE!!! LETS GO! WAIT WHY ARE THINGS GOING THIS WELL

A SILVER BANNER WITH A SCREAMING HAWK — trade in the owls y’all — THE WHITETHORN HOUSE — YES finally not the betrayal I feared but the one I needed YES

And now we know what he meant by he knew the flags!!!

CHAPTER 67:

ROWAN LOVES AELIN AELIN LOVES ROWAN Time to go dig up the quote I keep pondering about him looking back and laughing at what that hawk watching the drunk brawling woman would think to know she became his world and happiness and changed everything: “He knew the house flags that flew beneath Maeve's own crest. Had counted and cataloged them all day, sorting through the catacombs of his memory. Rowan slid into his clothes and waited until he'd crept into the hall before buckling his sword belt. Still gripping the doorknob, he allowed himself one last look at her. For a moment, the past snared him--for a moment, he saw her as he'd first spied her on the rooftops of Varese, drunk and battered. He'd been in hawk form, assessing his new charge, and she'd noticed him--broken and reeling, she had still spotted him there. And stuck out her tongue at him. If someone had told him that the drunken, brawling, bitter woman would become the one thing he could not live without ... Rowan shut the door.”

I can summarize this chapter with the update that I have now begun to cry happy tears

… which is also scaring me … but YAY

Rowan had told Enda of Aelin🥹 he told them all… an army of ship protection squad in every sense of the words…

He had gotten on his knees to beg for her… the only man foolish/hopeful enough to beg the gods to let him stay with the woman he loves😭 MY SOULLLLLLL

“He had told his cousin about the woman he loved, the queen whose heart burned with wildfire. He had told Enda about Erawan, and the threat of the keys, and Maeve's own desire for them.” — he had hoped

ONE chance at peace

Darkness from Morath or Maeve or both??? — also like is Morath the same as (I want to say Gannan lol why do I keep thinking Zelda) Erawan! — like all these lines about the mountain alive and all that is it actually him — cause SJM loves a good creepy mountain plot

“To fight not for the queen who had enslaved him, but the one who had saved him.”

I will consider it

MY GODS THIS MAN (male? Fae? Idk just HIM)

TERRASEN CAN BECOME THE HOME FOR ALL THE LOST WONDERFUL TRAITORS

“EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. As if they had all met, all decided to risk ruination together.”

“Rowan had not possessed an army of his own to give to Aelin. To give to Terrasen. So he had won an army for her. Through the only things Aelin had claimed were all she wanted from him. His heart. His loyalty. His friendship. And Rowan wished his Fireheart were there to see it as the House of Whitethorn slammed into Maeve's fleet, and ice and wind exploded across the waves.” — I wish Aelin could see this too😭 UR HONOR — THEM!!! His Fireheart🥹😭 — So does power run in family’s? All whitethorns possess ice & wind??? — Yeah okay Maasverse I agree Rowan wins boyfriend of the verse/century/every fandom — Like talk about a testament of character they all would for him and even Lorcan knew it and I’m taking so much time cause I am shook cause wow wow wow WOW — “Whitethorn had done it for her. All of it, for Aelin.” — is this the first time Lorcan has called her by her name (and not his “nickname”)😂

Aedion shouting for his brother😭. A true king even if he’s just boyfriend consort👏. A good man, they did it for him, he did it for her🥹. And Maeve that’s called Karma🫰 — now I’m crying happy tears

“For a heartbeat, Lorcan allowed himself to ponder it — the power of the thing that had compelled Rowan to risk it all. And Lorcan wondered if it would perhaps be the one force that Maeve, that Erawan, would not see coming.” — LOVE TRUE LOVE MORE POWERFUL…

STOP REMINDING ME OF MAEVE AND SUFFERING SARAH😅😭 WHYYYYYYY — I wish the answer was sorry Maeve can’t come to the phone right now why because she’s dead but I guess we’ve got to have more books but like can’t we get down to one villain only huh?

Yay team bro! Go Dorian and Rowan! Go Aedion! MY COURT OF TERRASEN!!! (Just imagine them + the night court *👌👌) — DONT ANYONE DIE AND RUIN THIS FOR ME

Can Maeve just summon them? How? NO! — what price does Gavriel pay? — she didn’t even show COWARD!!! — NO MAEVE IS ON THE BEACH NO NO NOOO—

Yeah actually I’m with Lorcan GO TO ELIDE NOW “He had made a promise to her first.” 🥹😭🫶 finally the love she deserves but F-WHY-MAEVE-AGH-DAMMIT-WHY — the soldiers weren’t stupid enough and I actually think both Aedion and Rowan would back him up and say GO GET ELIDE NOW… wait… is that Maeve’s plan? WAS GAVRIEL TRICKING? AGHHHHHHHHH

Maeve is far from Lorcan… but not you… Elide darling please RUN or SEE or SOMETHING — I can’t have another Elain kidnapping style situation

Who are the eight guards?

Why would a goddess have to flee from a fae queen? SOMETHING IS UP WITH MAEVE

— WHAT THE —

CHAPTER 68:

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ELIDE I SWEAR — Calling this chapter before even starting: I feel more fear right now. — OH WAIT IT STARTED OW AGONY NEHEMIA OW — well… this is gonna be a mess!

Better yet it’s opening line: It was AGONY!

Final update on this chapter before the book ends I want to call this one: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME CAUSE REALLY LIKE ARE YOU

HERE COMES THE PAIN THERE GOES THE SUN DODODODO

“Elena had laid these plans a thousand years ago.”

“To break her, so she could walk away from the assassin and ascend her throne.”

Worse that she would go so far into the pit of rage and despair that she wouldn’t be able to get out. Not as Celaena. Nehemia had been right.

Okay so she does have a body… that’s answered😂 — “Aelin was shaking shaking in her half-invisible body, shaking so badly she thought her skin would ripple off her bones. Manon stepped closer, perhaps the only comfort the witch knew how to offer: solidarity.” — Even Manon comforting… she knows… OW!!! Trying to picture Gilmore girls haha solidarity sister for comfort but it’s not working cause — This chapter is everything not everything like EVERYTHING but everything like EVERY PIECE OF AGONY BEHIND THE SCENES. Every scene. All at once. — ONLY ONCE — I can’t even note just gotta read cause I can’t function

Well I guess I know what I’ll be talking about in therapy this week cause I am triggered and healed and crying and shocked all in one fucking hot mess of good writing and cruel plots

The only coherent note I made was Maeve you bitch😂 so there we are this is gonna take days to process onto chapter 69

Gonna go update one of my incorrect quote posts on getting stabbed cause honestly I think my reaction would be it hurts less than Empire of Storms SOOO

Yeah had to stop typing time #1 (finished the book) resuming note updates but this THIS is when I broke (the first time) 😅

“Aelin wasn't sure she could stomach another truth. Another revelation of just how thoroughly Elena had sold her and Dorian to the gods, for the fool's mistake she'd made, not understanding the Lock's true purpose, to seal Erawan in his tomb rather than let Brannon finally end it—and send the gods to wherever they called home, dragging Erawan with them.” — Yeah I don’t think I can handle another truth either … or forgive you Elena Galathynius

THIS ISNT THE FRIGGIN CAULDRON WHY MUST THEY DIE TO UNIFY — why can’t like Dorian & Aelin go halvesies??? — maybe she just has to be willing to die NOT actually — can we just resuscitate? COME ON GUYS WE HAVE IMMORTAL HEALING MAGIC

Why is the lock JUST ONCE?

NAMELESS IS MY PRICE

“The face ... it was the same. Manon's face, and Rhiannon Crochan's. The last Crochan Queens—of two separate eras.” — I think this means a lot more — maybe the gold eyes? Which btw still have the no Valg possession theory for that

“As he forged the Amulet of Orynth. As he placed a sliver of black stone within either side, then sealed it, defiance written in every line of his body.”

“For her. For his true heir, should Elena's punishment and promise to the gods hold true. The punishment and promise that had cleaved them. That Brannon could not and would not accept. Not while he had strength left. Nameless is my price. Written right there in Wyrdmarks. The one who bore Brannon's mark, the mark of the bastard-born nameless … She would be the cost to end this. The message on the back of the Amulet of Orynth was the only warning he could offer, the only apology for what his daughter had done, even as it contained a secret inside so deadly no one must know, no one could ever be told. But there would be clues. For her. To finish what they'd started. Brannon built Elena's tomb with his own hands. Carved the messages in there for Aelin, too. The riddles and the clues. The best he could offer to explain the truth while keeping those keys hidden from the world, from powers who would use them to rule, to destroy.”

I feel sorry for Brannon… he sacrificed everything, his wife, watched his daughter fade, knowing his descendants would face a horrible death for a price he cannot pay — DON’T GO SHOWING ME A MORTAL IMMORTAL COUPLE THAT ENDS LIKE THIS — Okay do we have each of these Wyrdkeys? — THE QUEEN WAS AN ALLY? Intrigue for this witch & queen combo! — She cried for him even knowing what she knew she cried too —we all feel sorry … why can’t these “gods” deal with their own problems? — “For the mortal king he hated and had barely tolerated, but he had leashed that loathing for his daughter's sake. Even if Gavin had taken his daughter, the daughter of his soul, away from him.” — he had loved his daughter & all of his children, ever “bastard” born heir was loved… but he couldn’t save them — You don’t understand Manon… but she does… She knew SHE HAD KNOWN and she couldn’t tell him😭— “It was where he had wanted to end this all along anyway.” — THIS BETTER NOT BE FORSHADOWING — Only his heir would be able to do that. Or whoever held another key. … and Maeve wants to be that…no.No.NO. — “And then he walked into that molten river, into the burning heart of his beloved. And Brannon, King of Terrasen, Lord of Fire, did not emerge again.”

Elena’s sorry & she meant it & I’m sorry too even for her

The sapphire eyes😭 … Dorian wasn’t ready …

thieving and cowardice

“I did not know darkness would fall. I did not know that your land would suffer. Suffer as I tried to keep mine from suffering. And there were so many voices ... so many voices even before Adarlan conquered. It was those voices that woke me. The voices of those wishing for an answer, for help." Elena's eyes slid to Manon, then back to hers. "They were from all kingdoms, all races. Human, witch-kind, Fae ... But they wove a tapestry of dreams, all begging for that one thing ... A better world.” — WAIT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE WITCH WAR TOO???

This is one of the most telling chapters of the series like HoF half truths chapter level… also one of the best written ones… like as much as it broke my heart this right here was writing at its best, emotions I haven’t felt since deathly hallows, things I haven’t seen done so well in a long long time.

The courts of dreamers…

“"Then you were born. And you were an answer to the gathering darkness, with that flame. My father's flame, my mother's might-reborn at last. — she had been watching her that long — And you were strong, Aelin. So strong, and so vulnerable. Not to outside threats, but the threat of your own heart, the isolation of your power. — and yet she knew love, she had the world fall in love over and over and it broke her heart over and over yet there she was resilient — But there were those who knew you for what you were, what you could offer. Your parents, — did they know? — their court, your great-uncle ... and Aedion. Aedion knew you were the Queen Who Was Promised without knowing what it meant, without knowing anything about you, or me, or what I did to spare my own people." — Aedion had loved her for her alone even then — The words hit her like stones. "The Queen Who Was Promised," Aelin said. "But not to the world. To the gods—to the keys." To pay the price. To be their sacrifice in order to seal the keys in the gate at last.” Deanna's appearance hadn't been only to tell her how to use the mirror, but to remind her that she belonged to them. Had a debt owed to them.” — … It is not fair that Aelin has never been free… always being reminded whether Arobynn or Maeve or the gods that she is not her own… it’s cruel to never allow such a wild soul to be truly free for even a moment. She almost has been so many times. But there’s always a catch. A clause. A horrid reminder.

Elena… what happened that night??? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THAT NIGHT?!

“Aelin made herself stand still when that familiar, frozen wood appeared, exactly as she remembered it. — literally having to live it again what a nightmare — As she appeared, so small and young, — so young, so wild, so broken — white nightgown torn and muddy, hair wild, eyes bright with terror and grief so profound it had broken her entirely. — she’s breaking again & it’s breaking me — Frantic to reach the roaring river beyond, the bridge. There were the posts, and the forest on the other side.-Her sanctuary- EVEN MANON SWORE AT THE HORROR — She had forgotten how far that fall was. — There was so much death," Elena whispered — "So much death, and so many lights extinguished," Elena said, voice breaking. "You were so small. And you fought ... you fought so hard." "You clung to that log with all your strength. Everything had been taken from you—everything—and yet you still fought. You did not yield. And they told me to hurry, because even then their power to hold me in that solid body was fading. They said to just take you and go, but ... I hesitated. I waited until you got to that riverbank." — WHAT — WHAT —

"You died," Elena whispered. "Right there, you died. You had fought so hard, and I failed you. And in that moment, I didn't care that I'd again failed the gods, or my promise to make it right, or any of it. "All I could think was how unfair it was. You had not even lived, you had not even been given a chance ... And all those people, who had wished and waited for a better world ... You would not be there to give it to them." Oh gods. "Elena," — ELENA! — SARAH — WHAT — SOBBING

"I could not allow it. I could not endure it. Not for the gods' sake, but —but for your own." — "And then I defied them."

SHE GAVE HER TO AROBYNN — her parents had known? — he lived in Terrasen??? — but who killed them — WHAT?! — “Only a few years older than she was now.”

"I knew what he was, what he'd likely do with you. What training you would receive. But 1t was better than dead. And if you could survive, if you could grow up strong, if you had the chance to reach adulthood, I thought perhaps you could give those people who had wished and dreamed of a better world ... at least give them a chance. Help them—before the debt was called in again." — WHAT. The.

"You were so young," Elena said again. "And more than the dreamers, more than the debt ... I wanted to give you time. To at least know what it was to live.

"What was the price, Elena? What did they do to you for this?" Elena wrapped her arms around herself as the image faded, Arobynn mounting his horse, Aelin in his arms. Mist swirled again. "When it is done," Elena managed to say, "I go, too. For the time I bought you, when this game is finished, my soul will be melted back into the darkness. I will not see Gavin, or my children, or my friends ... I will be gone. Forever." "Did you know that before you—" "Yes. They told me, over and over. But ... couldn't. I couldn't do it." Aelin slid to her knees before the queen. Took Elena's tearstained face between her hands. "Nameless is my price," Aelin said, her voice breaking. Elena nodded. — OH MY GODS

A mark glowed on Aelin's brow, heating her skin. The bastard mark of Brannon. The mark of the nameless. "Mala's blood must be spent-your power must be spent. Every drop, of magic, of blood. You are the cost—to make a new Lock, and seal the keys into the gate. To make the Wyrdgate whole. — NO — Aelin said softly, "I know." She had known for some time now. Had been preparing for it as best she could. Preparing things for the others. — NO —

“Will you come with me? Help me end it once and for all?" Will you come with me, so I will not be alone? Elena nodded, but whispered, "I'm sorry." — to whatever end.

"You were barely climbing out of slavery," Elena said. "Hardly holding yourself together, trying so hard to pretend that you were still strong and whole. — OW!!!

Glacier-blue eyes met hers at last. "I know. Maeve has long wished to regain possession of the keys. My father believed it was for something other than conquest. Something darker, worse. I don't know why she only began hunting for them once you arrived. — WHAT — But I sent you to Wendlyn for the healing. — WHAT — And so you — OH MY WYRD — would ... find him. — SHE SENT HER TO HEAL; with him

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“The one who had been waiting so long for you."

“Aelin's heart cracked. "Rowan." — mine too😭

"He was a voice in the void, a secret, silent dreamer. And so were his companions. But the Fae Prince, he was .. Aelin reined in her sob. "I know. I've known for a long time." "I wanted you to know that joy, too," Elena whispered. "However briefly." "I did," Aelin managed to say. "Thank you." … the dreamers😭😭😭 — STAB ME WHY DON’T YOU

“I will be with you. Until the very end, every step of the way, I will be with you.” — BUT WILL YOU PAY FOR THE THERAPY I NOW NEED???

And now… now I truly do feel sorry for Elena… I can forgive her for what she did… it really wasn’t, I mean it isn’t her fault? — She was young. She was trying to end a war. She didn’t know. And I think Aelin and many of them may have made the same mistakes had they not known. … And she had to live losing everything, knowing everything she loves will lose, a child would have to die for her mistake, I think she got the worst punishment one that doesn’t fit the crime. I think she almost got the truest tragedy of anyone… next to Aelin of course; the lamb to the slaughter, beautiful Aelin; honestly this chapter broke my heart the most because it is the heart of why you love Aelin. She is the beautiful bright force of light and life and you love her for it in all her fiery brutal hilarious lovely strong brave ways.

“But Aelin did not fight it as Elena leaned in to kiss her brow, where that damning mark had been her whole life. A bit of chattel, branded for the slaughterhouse. Brannon's mark. The mark of the bastard-born ... the Nameless. Nameless is my price. To buy them a future, she'd pay it.” — oh hell no to the last part

“It was the only thing she could give them, her last gift to Terrasen.” — WHAT KINDA ROWAN WHITETHORN BS IS THAT — YOU WAIT TILL HE GETS WORD OF THAT — NO WE GONNA SHUT THAT ISH DOWN

“To those she loved with her heart of wildfire.” — tattooing this on my soul

Aelin knew that laugh. And knew that somehow, perhaps they had not traveled through the mists ... But they had been placed here. By whatever forces were at work, whatever gods watching. To stand in the sandy field before the turquoise sea, dead guards in Briarcliff armor slaughtered upon the nearby dunes, still bleeding out. To stand before Queen Maeve of the Fae. Elide Lochan on her knees before her-with a Fae warrior's blade at her throat. — OH MY FUCKING GODS YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME — IF ITS LORCAN BEING CONTROLLED IM GONNA BECOME A FERAL WRAITH

CHAPTER 69:

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO ENDURE SIX MORE CHAPTERS AND A WORSE CLIFFHANGER *apologies in advance people the language is about to get rough😂 because legit WHAT THE FUCK* … is there a word for both triggered, healed, confused, personally offended, and impressed all by one passage of writing?

Me curled up in a corner rocking back and fourth and laughing about “how sad” I thought the first ACOTAR UTM passages were THEY FEEL LIKE A SITCOM NOW and I haven’t even read the final book of TOG/KoA! But I’m scared to cause I don’t think I’m gonna get so lucky that all the (🚨 SPOILER for WINGS AND RUIN🚨 Rhys & Amrens of the world get resurrected… no this series is gonna break me isn’t it HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH) *hysterics*

HERE WE GO AGAIN *sobbing to Mamma Mia!* Alternative titles currently ranked at: AND THE PAIN CONTINUES, SURE LETS SEE HOW MUCH WORSE IT CAN GET, EVEN MY DOG IS CONCERNED NOW, HOW ARE THERE FIVE MORE CHAPTERS OF THIS AND HOW WILL ANYTHING BE OKAY, I CANT DO MATH ANYMORE HOW MANY PAGES UNTIL EVERYTHINGS OKAY, I AM DEAD INSIDE

MAASVERSE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE AN ENTERANCE

My THIRTEEN THE WITCHY ANGELS YES

Okay legit stopped typing notes because 68 broke me and they were my only solace so I just just read, have finished and now am adding notes while in shock… so… HERE WE GO AGAIN… AGAIN…

Gavriel protecting his son😭 with Golden magic again Aelin?? AND PROTECTING LYSANDRA BECAUSE THAT IS PROTECTING HIS SON

Outgunned WHAT outmanned WHAT outnumbered WHAT… come on Aelin Mastermind & Rowan!!! Don’t let us be outplanned😅😅😬🫥🫡

I wish that bitch wasn’t about to be all y’all’s problem

Why does his sword arm hurt sound so funny in the midst of chaos or am I just in hysterics

Aedion used the reprieve to whirl to Lysandra. Blood from his own wounds and ones he'd inflicted covered him, mixing with the sweat running down his skin. He said to the shifter, "I want you to run." Lysandra turned a fuzzy head toward him, pale green eyes narrowing slightly. — everytime they describe her in a different form I can’t help but giggle and feel happy, also I love her mannerisms — Aedion held that gaze. "You turn into a bird or a moth or a fish-I don't rutting care-and you go. If we're about to fall, you run. That's an order." She hissed, as if to say, You don't give me orders. "I technically outrank you," he said, slashing his sword down his shield to clear it of two protruding arrows as they again swung in toward another ship crammed full of well-rested Fae warriors. "So you'll run. Or I'll kick your ass in the Afterworld." — it’s giving my ghost won’t associate with your ghost/I’ll kill you if you die vibes 😂 — Lysandra stalked up to him. A lesser man — so a greater woman wouldn’t beg but a lesser man would’ve backed awary cool thanks Taylor & Sarah I made a note😂 — might have backed away from a predator that big prowling close. Some of his own soldiers did. But Aedion held his ground as she rose on her back legs, those huge paws settling on his shoulders, and brought her bloodied feline face up to his. Her wet whiskers twitched. Lysandra leaned in and nuzzled his cheek, his neck. Then she trotted back to her place, blood splashing beneath her silent paws. When she deigned to glance his way, spitting blood onto the deck, Aedion said softly, "The next time, do that in your human form." — HE USED THE REPRIEVE TO ASK HER TO RUN (Aedion you always make any small temporary idiocy up) also cackling that last line GLORIOUS😂

“It was the last mistake the male made.” — yeah girl (she put the grrr in girl?😂 I LOST IT OKAY)

Okay well that’s a description when you say killing THREE TIMES

The fact Dorian thinks Aedion is hurt (which btw bro why did you give me a heart attack) but because he hears Lysandra roar for him

WHEN I TELL YOU I STARTED CACKLING KICKING SCREAMING AND CRYING I AM NOT KIDDING — A wivern with shimmering wings — MY BABY — MAASVERSE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A ENTRANCE AND I JUST KNEW IT — wicked delight — !!!

CHAPTER 70:

“I think I can finally breathe” — BECAUSE THANK GODS THE THIRTEEN AND ABRAXOS AND ASTERIN ARE OKAY

The last time I said that while reading probably😂

I CAN FINALLY BREATHE ITS ASTERIN OH THANK GODS ITS ASTERIN AND ABRAXOS AND THE TWELEVE FOR MY THRITEEN I CANT SPELL OR TYPE OR MATH JUST AGHHHH

Lysandra knowing Abraxos roar… I love her animal buddies

TWELVE RIDERS AND THE WIVERNS AND A PALE BLUE ONE AND GOLDEN HAIRED WITCH

I KNEW ABRAXOS WOULD GO GET HELP

“Then we shall clear the field for you.” — OH HELL YES

I wish I could fly with them into glorious chaos too Lysandra

HELLO LYSAEDION ;-)

Let’s just be glad the coven is on our side and not think about it😅😅

REALLY ITS NAME IS THE NIGHTINGALE REALLY

Thanks the gods Rowan knows Maeve’s style cause umm YEAH GO NOW

FIND HER

“Flame and shadow and death” FUCK NO

Rowan choosing her best chance at survival even as it’s the most triggering thing for him and going with the team but oh gods hindsight and ugh whyyyyyy

LETS GO WIVERNS! COME ON ABRAXOS!!

Hehe yeah now the rain is pouring down… did not age well!

CHAPTER 71:

“Dreams and nightmares given form.”

Yep… opening quotes said it all…

“No crown adorned her head, for all who breathed, even the dead who slumbered, would know her for what she was. Dreams and nightmares given form; the dark face of the moon.”

Ugh she reminds me of Amarantha & it’s nauseating

What does Maeve even want/need to conquer for — WHATS THE DARKER UNDERCURRENT PLOT???

Okay so it’s just some random sentry???

Manon had gone still as death at the sight of Elide, her iron nails sliding free. — thank you, they’ve got her,

“Aelin forced a half smile to her mouth, shoved her raw, bleeding heart into a box deep inside her chest.” — & somehow that line ripped mine out

And the snark shall buy time & save the day! Hooray!

"What a joy, to learn that your usual good spirits remain undimmed in such dark days." "How could they not, when so many of your pretty males are in my company?" — nice one, point Aelin for the burn (she is the heir/queen of fire after all)

How does Maeve know her face? She was there then?? What is going on with her??? THERE IS MORE THERE!!!

"Claimed by queen, and witch, and … my Second, it seems." — for once Elide is not Malone, she has people that will look out for her, she deserves to be loved so well with protective sisters (minus the horror of the situation) I just appreciate that everyone can agree to protect the precious cinnamon roll

AELIN KNEW

Does Elide know it’s beyond Lorcan’s control? Oh OW!

Graceful as a moonbeam… do you mean Fenrys because I need some comedic relief and I’m gonna believe that

OKAY BUT LORCAN ANSWERED THAT VERY SMART he says “she has them” not Elide, not Aelin, “she” because then he doesn’t have to specify which has which while still telling the truth and not clearly masking it, and yes he does give Aelin up BUT Maeve already knew it bought some trust and time and I give him points for that smart quick response/work-around

Elide does the mind reading notes of reading people so well (autocorrect her name is not Elise!)

She had been draining her for weeks… oh gods…

Hope soared in Elide's chest. — mine too

“To sacrifice her own fleet—or part of it—to gain one prize ... This was madness. The queen was utterly insane.”

DO SOMETHING — AGREED

You can tell that Elide is an innocent among madness, she doesn’t understand, she can’t, she’s not a monster, she’s in a long-game of good players, and right here it’s heartbreaking

The fact Maeve didn’t want to kill Aelin is even more terrifying

The impact shook the world — not just like Lorcan & Rowan fighting… no this is bigger

But that means Maeve knows Aelin could beat her

“fire flickering like dying embers around her” — NONONONONONONO okay but like really gods anyone do something you want the one to wield the lock STOP IT — DO SOMETHING — NOW!

Fenrys defending her🥹😭

the young QUEEN OF FIRE (the new title)

DAMN SHE KNOWS ABOUT AEDION

Can Fenrys please get to destroy Maeve like Leah with Jane in Twilight?

“No fire left in the queen. Not one ember. And the only way Aelin could face this, accept this, was to go down swinging. Like Marion had.” — OW… ya know that part of HoF when Aelin says hitting her would hurt less… YEAH that line I feel like that

Why does Maeve not want to quarrel with witches? Perhaps the gold eyes? Perhaps the fact she could beat her?? Hmm???

Please tell me Rowan can’t feel all of this

No

NO

NOOOOO

“Get up”😭😭😭 nonononononono … she’s trying and she can’t & I’m sobbing … I DID NOT NEED THIS FULL CIRCLE

An assassin, Elide reminded herself. Aelin was an assassin, and if Maeve got close enough But Maeve didn't. — DAMMIT — And those invisible hands cut the tethers on Aelin's sword belts. Goldryn thunked to the ground. — Okay so the invisible hands trick is a raw magic thing?

Gathering her strength. For one last strike. One last stand. Let the queen believe her broken. "Why?" Aelin rasped. Buying herself time… — hope, no. She’s out. No. Rowan’s coming. What will Maeve do? Be fast enough! AGH! Something is wrong & unplanned something very bad.

“Because I can't very well let you sacrifice yourself to forge a new Lock, can I? Not when you already have what I want. And I have known for a very, very long time that you would give me what I seek, Aelin Galathynius, and have taken the steps toward ensuring that.” — WHAT?! She knows??? CAN WE GET ONE BREAK?!

“But all bloodlines fade. And I knew a time would come when Brannon's flames would dim to a flicker, and I'd be poised to strike.” — what *said in lethal calm voice.

No.

ONLY YOU

WHAT

NO!

“And I saw who you were, what you were. I saw who you loved I saw your mate.”

What did she do?

WHAT DID SHE DO?

"What a powerhouse you two would be you and Prince Rowan. And any offspring of that union ..." A vicious smirk. "You and Rowan could rule this continent if you wished. But your children ... your children would be powerful enough to rule an empire that could sweep the world." Aelin closed her eyes. The Fae males were shaking their heads slowly—not believing it. "I didn't know when you would be born, but when Prince Rowan Whitethorn came into this world, when he came of age and was the strongest purebred Fae male in my realm ... you were still not there. And I knew what I would have to do. To leash you. To break you to my will, to hand over those keys without thought once you were strong and trained enough to acquire them." Aelin's shoulders shook. Tears slid out past her closed eyes. "It was so easy to tug on the right psychic thread that day Rowan saw Lyria at the market. To shove him down that other path, to trick those instincts. A slight altering of fate." "Oh, gods," Fenrys breathed.” — unpopular opinion I wish they had just allowed him to have had two mates, instead of making it so singular, allowing there to be love after death, more than one love of one’s life (she still could’ve been the cause) I just personally would’ve liked it more but why it does make Maeve really crazy SO SHIT that’s REALLL BAD and I didn’t know anyone could do that so now we’ve got some new concerns also the fact Aelin’s heart broke FOR Rowan right then

“So your mate was given to another. And I let him fall in love, let him get her with child. And then I broke him. No one ever asked how those enemy forces came to pass by his mountain home." Aelin's knees gave out completely. Only the invisible hands kept her upright as she wept. "He took the blood oath without question. And I knew that whenever you were born, whenever you'd come of age ... I'd ensure that your paths crossed, and you'd take one look at each other and I'd have you by the throat. Anything I asked for, you'd give to me. Even the keys. For your mate, you could do no less. You almost did that day in Doranelle." Slowly, Aelin slid her feet under herself again, the movement so pained that Elide cringed. But Aelin lifted her head,” — this may be the worst villain confession I’ve read… this is next level evil… there are no words.

"I will kill you," Aelin snarled at the Fae Queen. — get in line sister

"That's what you said to Rowan after you met him, wasn't it?" Maeve's faint smile lingered. — UM—OW—F-YOU-MAEVE!

"I'd pushed and pushed your mother to bring you to me, so you could meet him, so I could have you at last when Rowan felt the bond, but she refused. And we know how well that turned out for her. And during those ten years afterward, I knew you were alive. Somewhere. But when you came to me ... when you and your mate looked at each other with only hate in your eyes ... I'll admit I did not anticipate it. That I had broken Rowan Whitethorn so thoroughly that he did not recognize his own mate that you were so broken by your own pain you didn't notice, either. And when the signs appeared, the carranam bond washed away any suspicion on his part that you might be his. But not you. How long has it been, Aelin, since you realized he was your mate?" — MY FUCKING SOUL — THE ROMAN EMPIRE IS FALLING — OWOWOW — I mean I knew Aelin knew, I knew why Rowan kinda-didn’t, but Maeve… she’s a monster. Also dude what was the plan? Get Evelin to bring an 8 year old for some 200 year old guy? CREEPY!!!

Aelin said nothing, her eyes churning with rage and grief and despair. Elide whispered, "Leave her alone." — THANK YOU ELIDE FOR REPRESENTING US ALL IN REACTION AND REASON —Maeve ignored her.— RUDE! And dumb… Elide is very wise, you would do well to LISTEN!

Also having Elide’s perspective is super interesting because to her Aelin’s fight was brutal where Aelin might have thought of it as minor or Manon like a warrior it’s more of a fan perspective and you feel it all in shock even more while also thankfully not having to hear what poor Fenrys is thinking etc.

“When did you know?" — THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED THIS TALK TO GO OR WHO I WANTED IT WITH — "At Temis's temple," Aelin admitted glancing to Manon. "The moment the arrow went through his shoulder. Months ago. — NO THAT LINE, Asterin, OW — "And you've hidden it from him, no doubt to save him from any guilt regarding Lyria, any sort of emotional distress ..." Maeve clicked her tongue. "What a noble little liar you are." — she loves him so much😭 — Aelin stared at nothing, her eyes going blank. — me too — "I had planned for him to be here," Maeve said, frowning at the horizon. — I wish he was here to help or protect or fight… but I’m kinda glad he isn’t… I don’t want to see him see this… also glad this is Elide’s perspective, Aelin’s would hurt too much (though Manon WHATS THE PLAN? Come on man-on with the plan-on?) — "Since letting you two go that day in Doranelle was so that you could lead me to the keys again. I even let you think you'd gotten away with it, by freeing him. — hey, we know, but hey! Let us have hope for one ding dang second! — Maeve shrugged. "If it's any consolation, Aelin, you would have had a thousand years with Prince Rowan. Longer." — OWWWWWWWW, okay it’s fine it just means when she gets out they’re both immortal, it’s fine IT WILL ALL BE JUST FINE! — "My sister Mab's line ran true. The full powers, shifting abilities, and the immortality of the Fae. You're likely about five years away from Settling." Aelin's face crumpled. This was not a draining of magic and physical strength, but of spirit. — NOPE NOT FINE NOT FINE NOT FINE

NO. Not Cairn. Not a whip. Not Elide. No.

MAEVE I BEG YOU TOO — AND HOW DARE YOU SILENCE FENRYS

CHAPTER 72:

I can’t keep calm if Aelin doesn’t have a plan

SARAH WHAT ARE YOU DOING AGAIN

Lorcan speaking softly is even more terrifying than I thought because it isn’t the lethal calm it’s a true beg and plead

“Good—Manon would get Elide out. The witch had been waiting for Aelin to make a move, not realizing that ... she had nothing left. There was no power left for a final strike.” — even Manon is worried — Aelin has no plan, so what do I keep calm in??? MANON GET THE GIRL AND RUN RIGHT NOW

They just compared him to Rourke Farran and I want to throw up because Aelin made the connection and that hurts even more

Okay yes I’m mad at Lorcan but also I really think he’s playing the long-game and trying to save Elide who he loves… I guess I’m not surprise he’d betray Aelin & I’m glad he isn’t betraying Elide (even though betraying Aelin betrayed Elide) I just am not surprised? Frustrated? But not quite furious I guess?

"She belongs to the Ironteeth. If you have no quarrel with me, then you have no quarrel with her. Leave Elide Lochan out of it." — THANK YOU MANON

FIGHT IT!

Aelin knew Elide would fight. Would not understand that Maeve had been playing this game for centuries, and had waited until this moment, until the trap was perfect, to seize her. Aelin found Maeve smiling at her. She had played, and gambled, and lost. Maeve nodded as if to say yes. — That doesn’t mean Aelin deserves this either, it’s almost worse because she knows, she knows.

The witch knew her orders. Her task. — she’d get Elide out… but the fact that’s all Aelin is thinking about NO😭

"I will bear the keys in one hand, and Aelin Fire-Bringer in the other." — No you will not — She'd have to break her first. Kill her or break…” — this is sick, legit nauseous

Why does Cairn have to sound like Cain

"I'll go with you, I'll come with you-The girl would. The girl would face Cairn, and Maeve ... But Terrasen would need that sort of courage. If it was to survive, if it was to heal, Terrasen would need Elide Lochan. — and once again this is where I began weeping and also heard Gwyn in ACOSF all over again… and Elide had feared not being needed or wanted… their sisterhood 😭 Oh sweet Elide & Aelin WHY MAEVE WHY SARAH WHY — and I would scold Manon but she’s got a hand she’s not playing I just know it she is too uncomfortable too aware not to want to help Aelin

"Tell the others," Aelin breathed, trying to find the right words. — NO. I will not listen. Don’t you dare give a final speech Aelin Galathynius. DONT YOU DO IT! ELIDE DOES NOT NEED TO CARRY LAST WORDS FOR TEN YEARS! NOPE. NOT HAPPENINGx NOT AGAIN. NOT A CHANCE! COME ON — SOMEONE — THIS CANNOT BE THE WARNINGS I WAS GIVEN! No!

“Tell the others that I am sorry. Tell Lysandra to remember her promise, and that I will never stop being grateful.” — WHAT PROMISE?! WHAT TALK DID THEY HAVE AFTER NAMELESS

Tell Aedion ... Tell him it is not his fault, — NO TOO SOON TOO CLOSE TO HOME — and that " Her voice cracked. "I wish he'd been able to take the oath, but Terrasen will look to him now, and the lines must not break." — No! She . Did. Not. — WHATS WITH THE “LINES MUST NOT BREAK & HOLD THE LINE” LINES?

And tell Rowan… — I’m gonna need 30 minutes before I finish this sentence —

"And tell Rowan," Aelin said, fighting her own sob, "that I'm sorry I lied. But tell him it was all borrowed time anyway. Even before today, I knew it was all just borrowed time, but I still wish we'd had more of it." She fought past her trembling mouth. "Tell him he has to fight. He must save Terrasen, and remember the vows he made to me. And tell him ... tell him thank you-for walking that dark path with me back to the light."

“Aelin glanced at Lorcan, whose dark eyes were fixed on her own. And gratitude shone there. For sparing the young woman he'd given his heart to, whether he knew it or not.”

"I'm glad we met. I'm proud to know you. And I think your mother would have been proud of you, too, Elide." — somebody come zap my memory

AELIN YOUR IN THE NEVER LIST TOO

No… not the tattoo… wait is there a new add on? “Rowan’s loving words, written in the Old Language.” (Hindsight: Did they get wedding tattoos? The 15 minutes😅😂😭😂)

My god it’s more than Endovier… I don’t think books have legitimately made me cry this much in a long time

TIME COME ON BE ONE HER SIDE MOVE FASTER COME ON

Manon is telling Aelin “good luck” not Maeve isn’t she?

“Time she was grateful Elena had given her that stolen time. Grateful she had met them all, that she had seen some small part of the world, had heard such lovely music, had danced and laughed and known true friendship. Grateful that she had found Rowan. She was grateful. So Aelin Galathynius dried her tears And did not fight when Maeve strapped that beautiful iron mask over her face.” — worst Aelin Galathynius ending line yet… I’m out of words… just the quote… the quote that ruined everything 10 times over again SORRY IF YOUR READING THESE CHAPTER REVIEWS TOO OR THIS BOOK CAUSE OW THE FEELS HIT DIFFERENT

CHAPTER 73:

I don’t even know what I want from the book ending… I don’t want more Aelin… I don’t want to see Rowan find out… just show me Asterin and Abraxos with Manon & then sedate me?

SHE HAS THE KEYS — I KNEW IT! YES MANON PLAN

Let that be the cost — Oh, sweet Manon😭🖤

Come on… let that be hope; they had to forge a box to contain her that’s her power level, she’ll find a way out (so many were coming for her even in Endovier) there’s no way, now. not with Rowan. not with Manon. and Elide. and Lorcan. they’ll get to her… just go fast please

Okay good Manon’s on the lookout

Same Elide Same

Pretty sure Lorcan is lying and yeah he did this for you TO DESTROY YOU

What. A. Bitch.

ABRAXOS!!! — I needed that thank you wivern bb🥹😭 — Her heart thundered in her chest, joy sparking, but—

“For her sanity, Manon prayed that Aelin wouldn't be awake the entire time she was inside. And for the sake of their world, Manon prayed the Queen of Terrasen could survive it. If only so Aelin could then die for them all.” — WHAT KIND OF LINE IS THAT

AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO READ TWO MORE CHAPTERS WITHOUT ANSWERS HOPE AND IDK IT WAS ALL A DREAM

CHAPTER 74:

THERES A HOLE IN ALL OF OUR SOULS NOW

Time loop? We’re repeating phrases? None of it’s real! Let’s go with that!!

Wait THE THIRTEEN ARE TOGETHER SAFE AND SOUND WITH ELIDE AND ABRAXOS AND MANON OH THANK THE WYRD MY GIRLS I NEEDED THAT OKAY THERE OKAY THEY CAN GO GET HER ITLL ALL BE FINE

“Where is Aelin.” — no. DONT MAKE ME READ THAT SARAH — NO! Why is it not even a question😭

That better not be one of Rowan’s shirts that she stole cause again OW

What. the. FUCK?! YOU. DID. NOT. JUST. SAY. WIFE. YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT TO ME?! WHAT?! THE ACTUAL?! WHAT!

“Where is Aelin. What had he done, what had he done. Rowan hissed, "Where is my wife?" Lorcan swayed where he knelt. Wife. Wife. "Oh, gods," Elide sobbed as she overheard, the words carrying the sound of Lorcan's own fractured heart. "Oh, gods..." And for the first time in centuries, Lorcan wept. Rowan dug the dagger deeper into Lorcan's neck, even as tears slid down Lorcan's face. What that woman had done ... Aelin had known. That Lorcan had betrayed her and summoned Maeve here. That she had been living on borrowed time. And she had married Whitethorn... so Terrasen could have a king. Perhaps had been spurred into action because she knew Lorcan had already betrayed her, that Maeve was coming ... And Lorcan had not helped her. Whitethorn's wife. His mate. Aelin had let them whip and chain her, had gone willingly with Maeve, so Elide didn't enter Cairn's clutches. And it had been just as much a sacrifice for Elide as it had been a gift to him. She had bowed to Maeve. For Elide. "Please," Rowan begged, his voice breaking as that calm fury fractured.” — the fact that Rowan probably knows and can smell the blood and still begs to know because he didn’t want to believe it the fact he says please — and there is no way that that is the only reason she married him — it wasn’t the lack of time it was the level of love

“Lorcan had been wrong. He had been so wrong. And he could not entirely regret it, not if Elide was safe, but ... Aelin had refused to count. Cairn had unleashed his full strength on her with that whip, and she had refused to give them the satisfaction of counting.” — I can’t tell if Lorcan admires her strength or fears it fears how far Maeve will go

Aedion trying to clean her sword 😭

When did Dorian learn to heal?

Manon told them everything (as she should) but I didn’t think she would… and now they had to hear it… from her

“But it was Elide who then took up the thread, leaning against Lysandra, who was staring at that blood and that shirt as if it were a corpse, telling them what had happened on these dunes. What Aelin had sacrificed She told Rowan that he was Aelin's mate. Told him about Lyria. She told them about the whipping, and the mask, and the box. When Elide finished, they were silent.” — I MEAN WHAT IS THERE TO SAY — something about Elide taking up the thread — and no Aedion not what you said… man Ashryvers have TEMPERS (but fair😅)

Lysandra was going to play as Aelin… that’s what the vision told her… did she think she could trick Rowan into believing she never died? — Aedion she obviously loves you that’s not the reason why — Okay fair point bro — Even fairer point girlie — "I will not apologize to you. I serve her. And I am willing to spend the rest of my life pretending to be her so that her sacrifice isn't in vain- — WOAH REACTION UNCALLED FOR but except under the circumstances (child’s play back in school is forgiven under my rule cause ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE)

It’s hurting her changing her it’s uncaged — Endure — like lines like that that I must … how did so much change in one book… that’s part of the sad part I know they’ll get Aelin back but things won’t ever be the same

“entering a sanctuary of wings and claws and teeth.” — oh how I missed and needed them back

“I will never forget that” — no one will unfortunately, not even Lorcan… yet once again if Aelin can forgive why can’t we? It’s like Feyre with fam stuff…

Umm can someone go check on Rowan please

Asterin was alive. The Thirteen were alive. And it was joy in Manon's heart—joy, she realized, as she beheld those smiling faces and smiled back. — so happy like this is the last shred of sanity

But Abraxos found us and seemed to know where you were, so we followed him." She scratched at some dried blood on her cheek. "And saved your ass, apparently." I KNEW HE WOULD — he’s the bestest boy (is what I would say, but he feels smarter than your average pet sidekick and would probably hate that, so let’s just wish him a vacation in flower fields while manon tans and everyone’s happy for once and Aelin is not in a coffin cool? Cool. Ps oh Asterin how I missed you, man if only Fenrys and the 13 could hang out more

Not soon enough to stop this. To save Aelin Galathynius. — BUT YOU WILL

They all looked to Manon … still …

A child not of war ... but of peace.

"And will you follow me?" Manon asked them quietly. "To do what needs to be done before we can return to the Wastes?" Aelin Galathynius had not beseeched Elena for another fate. She had only asked for one thing, one request of the ancient queen: Will you come with me? For the same reason Manon had now asked them. As one, the Thirteen lifted their fingers to their brows. As one, they lowered them. Manon looked toward the sea, her throat tight. — YEAH IM NOT CRYING EITHER TOTALLY JUST THE SALT WATER (legit I don’t know at this point what’s joy sadness fear anger sleep deprivation etc. lol)

GO SAVE THE QUEEN YALL

"Aelin Galathynius willingly handed over her freedom (she did give up her freedom😭) so an Ironteeth witch could walk free," Manon said. Elide straightened, pulling from Asterin's arms. — she’s one of them🥹 — But Manon continued, "We owe her a life debt. And more than that ... It is time that we became better than our foremothers. — YAS QUEEN — We are all children of this land." — why can’t more people be like Manon — no longer just dealing in life debts but honor — "What are you going to do?" Asterin breathed, her eyes so bright. Manon looked behind them. To the north. "I am going to find the Crochans. — like the opposite same of past centuries so she’s good at it I guess — And I am going to raise an army with them. For Aelin Galathynius. And her people. And for ours." "They'll never trust us," Sorrel said. Asterin drawled, "Then we'll have to just be our charming selves." Some of them smirked; some of them shifted on their feet. Manon said again to her Thirteen, "Will you follow me?" And when they all touched their fingers to their brows again, Manon returned the gesture.”

“What Aelin had done ... what she'd lied about … Some of the blood on the ground had dried. If Aelin was gone, if her life would indeed be the cost if she ever got free …Oh, Aelin. Aelin. She'd worked Maeve into such a frenzy, made the queen so focused on capturing her that she hadn't thought to confirm if Aelin held the keys before she vanished. She'd been dealt such a wicked, impossible hand-and yet Aelin had made it count. One last time, she'd made it count.” “I am sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help.”— the way Aedion is speaking oh beautiful buddies and Aelin oh and ugh it just feels so trapping with fate but at least we know Manon has wanted to help (as I knew she would have) but also this won’t be the last — now Dorian trust yourself as she trusts you (but ugh both houses NEITHER OF YOU DIE) but she knew but aww he would for her but good he’s got Manon protection — "Elena said Mala's bloodline can stop this. It runs in both your houses." — I like that Manon gives options not just her wishes but the full truth to decide — The golden eyes were weary-heavy. He realized what Manon was asking.

Aelin had never planned to see Terrasen again. She had married Rowan knowing she would have months at best, days at the worst, with him. But she would give Terrasen a legal king. To hold her territory together. She had made plans for all of them—and none for herself. "The quest does not end here," Dorian said softly. Manon shook her head. And he knew she meant more than the keys, than the war, as she said, "No, it does not." He took the keys from her. They throbbed and flickered, warming his palm. A foreign, horrible presence, and yet ... all that stood between them and destruction. No, the quest did not end here. Not even close. Dorian slid the keys into his pocket. And the road that now sprawled away before him, curving into unknown, awaiting shadow ... it did not frighten him. — here we go then … I mean she had to know they wouldn’t be that smart lol

I can’t even edit this post or work on autocorrects. How does this always happen? How? BREAK PART I LOST COUNT NO MORE MATH OR BRAIN CELLS TO GIVE

… *2 hours later voice* I feel like a mother-in-law learning her child eloped in Vegas and didn’t invite her for the second time

CHAPTER 75:

“Rowan had married Aelin before dawn barely two days ago.” — The first time we hear Rowan and it absolutely gutted me the hardest it could

“Rowan had known. Part of him had known that Aelin was his mate. And had turned away from that knowledge, again and again, out of respect for Lyria, out of terror for what it'd mean. He'd leapt in front of her at Skull's Bay knowing it, deep down. Knowing mates aware of the bond could not bear to harm each other, and that it might be the only force to compel her to regain control from Deanna. And even when she had proved him right ... He had turned from that”— my heart — she’d proved him right — he know AHHHH — it just hurts more — she’d known too though Ro — “Proof, still unready, pushing it from his mind even as he claimed her in every other way. Aelin had known, though. That he was her mate. And she had not pushed it, or demanded he face it, because she loved him, and he knew she'd rather carve out her own heart than cause him pain or distress.”

His Fireheart.

His equal, his friend, his lover. His wife.

His mate.

That gods-damned bitch had put her in an iron box. — yep that���s how I feel too

“His Fireheart, locked in the dark.” — NO NOT THAT LINE LIKE THIS OH OH NO😭

He’d known she was trying to tell him💔

Her IMMORTAL life (what about the mortal one?)

“It was all borrowed time anyway. Aelin did not expect them to come for her. She, who had come for them, who had found them all. She had arranged for everything to fall into place when she yielded her life. When she gave up a thousand years to save them. And Rowan knew she believed they'd make the right choice, the wise choice, and remain here. Lead their armies to victory-the armies she'd secured for them, guessing that she wouldn't be there to see it through. She did not think she'd ever see him again.” — the fact she doesn’t, she doesn’t want them to, even now she’s surprised to learn people tried on Endovier but hon they are coming just hold on and what was that final parting and the next line same dude same UTTERLY UNNACEPTABLE

“He did not accept that. He would not accept that. And he would not accept that he had found her, and she had found him, and they had survived such sorrow and pain and despair together, only to be cleaved apart. He would not accept the fate that had been dealt to her, would not accept that her life was the asking price for saving this world. Her life, or Dorian's. He would not accept it for one heartbeat.” — then don’t. Go get her. ALSO props for having Dorian on there this isn’t a kill one for the other no it’s a save both THANK YOU

Him and his cadre now… and hers…

“The sea rolled away, undulating under the clearing blue sky. He speared that bond into the world, casting it wide as a net. Flinging it out with his magic, his soul, his cracked heart. Searching for her. Fight it, he willed her, sending the words down the bond—the mating bond, which perhaps had settled into place that first moment they'd become carranam, hidden beneath flame and ice and hope for a better future. Fight her. I am coming for you. Even if it takes me thousand years. I will find you, I will find you, will find you. Only salt and wind and water answered him.” — A THOUSAND YEARS, their heart I WILL RESCUE YOU till the stars are dust

Memory? HE KNOWS EVERY STORY

Their all so numb😭

Where is she? THEY HAD COME (they didn’t abandon Terrasen) all her plans — But the young man was now close enough that Rowan could see the color of his eyes. Turquoise with a core of gold. Aedion breathed as if in a trance, "Galan." Galan Ashryver, Crown Prince of Wendlyn. The young man's eyes widened as he took in the warrior-prince. "Aedion," he said hoarsely, something like awe and grief in his face. But he blinked it away, self-assured and steady, and again asked, "Where is she?" None of them answered. Aedion demanded, "What are you doing here?" — those too telling eyes

It still smells like her😭 — OH MY WORD THE LETTER — TERRASEN REMEMBERS EVALIN ASHRYVER. DO YOU? I FOUGHT AT MISTWARD FOR YOUR PEOPLE. RETURN THE GODS-DAMNED FAVOR. — I FUCKING LOVE HER — Clever girl she knew when and who to ask

Lysandra has her MY HEART

ROWAN KNEW CAUSE HE KNEW HER TALE

Okay but legit how long can Lysandra fake it was she told all the stories

The fact he chose to be quiet like his dad I love the irony of knowing and all of them every thing she called in for them for him

WHY IS ILIAS MAKING ME CRY SO MUCH (also is it Ilias like “Iliad” with an s & no d or or like ELLE-EYE-Az or like Ill-eee—iss?)

“The Queen of the Wastes whispered, "Ilias." Ilias, son of the Mute Master of the Silent Assassins, gaped at Ansel, his back stiffening. But Rowan stepped toward the man, drawing his attention. Ilias's eyes narrowed in assessment. And he, like Galan, scanned them all, searching for a golden-haired woman who was not there. His eyes returned to Rowan as if he'd marked him as the axis of this group. In a voice hoarse from disuse, Ilias asked him, "We have come to fulfill our life debt to Celaena Sardothien—to Aelin Galathynius. "Where is she?" "You are the sessiz suikast," Dorian said, shaking his head. "The Silent Assassins of the Red Desert." Ilias nodded. And glanced at Ansel, who still seemed near vomiting, before saying to Rowan, "It seems my friend has called in many debts in addition to ours." As if the words themselves were a signal, more white-clad figures filled the dunes behind them. Dozens. Hundreds. Rowan wondered if every single assassin from that desert Keep had come to honor their debt to the young woman. A lethal legion in themselves. — They knew Rowan was the closest to her and how did Dorian know who they were

“"Tell Aelin Galathynius that Wendlyn has never forgotten Evalin Ashryver," Galan said to him, to Aedion. "Or Terrasen." I promise you that no matter how far I go, no matter the cost, when you call for my aid, I will come, Aelin had told him she'd sworn to Darrow. I'm going to call in old debts and promises. To raise an army of assassins and thieves and exiles and commoners. And she had. She had meant and accomplished every word of it.” — she doesn’t break her word… their are still many wars left

“Tears slid down Aedion's face as he silently sobbed. Where are our allies, Aelin? Where are our armies? She had taken the criticism-taken it, because he knew she hadn't wanted to disappoint them if she failed. Rowan put a hand on Aedion's shoulder.” — good job Rowan, Aedion it’s not your fault… both oh sweet AELIN😭 YALL I will defend this woman at all costs lol

“For Terrasen. For them. For a better world. Aelin Galathynius had raised an army not just to challenge Morath ... but to rattle the stars.” — now I’m sobbing on my metaphorical knees with very real non metaphor tears — if only you dared — what is it with Maas and good star quotes?

“She'd known that she would not get to lead it. But she would still hold true to her promise to Darrow: I promise you on my blood, on my family's name, that I will not turn my back on Terrasen as you have turned your back on me. And the last piece of it ... if Chaol Westfall and Nesryn Faliq could rally forces from the southern continent ... Aedion at last looked up at him, eyes wide as he came to the same realization. A chance. His wife, his mate, had bought them a fool's shot at this war. And she did not believe that they would come for her.” — they are coming, but my heart is breaking (come on Chaol, especially as I keep thinking it’s you😂or Yrene… this list is already long and that’s without all those lol) also I keep hearing Kingsley “they are coming” lol and also EVERY-TIME HE SAYS HIS WIFE

That smile ... It punched a hole through his heart. Lysandra had taught herself Aelin's smile, that bit of wickedness and delight, honed with that razor edge of cruelty. Lysandra's acting, honed in the same hellhole Aelin had learned hers, was flawless as she spoke to Galan.

“Their allies, their enemies, could not know that the immortal fire of Mala had been stolen. Leashed.”

She kept her word, FIND HER, king consort, give them a chance, TOO MUCH HAPPENING

Good job Lorcan. I love you Elide. — Healing therapy boat time! —

"I will go with you. I will help you get her back." — "Together. We'll go together."

To WHATEVER end😭

I love when they call her “Lady of Perranth”

HE CALLED HIM BROTHER🥹😭

“eyes burning bright. Rowan knew how much it killed him. But if the world believed Aelin was returning north, then one of her generals had to be at her side to lead her armies. And since Aedion commanded the loyalty of the Bane ... "Bring her back, Prince," Aedion said, voice cracking. "Bring her home." Rowan held his brother's stare and nodded. "We will see you again. All of you." — everyone come home plus ships gotta sail plus the home part ow okay and let’s take the promise as foreshadowing

Hopefully they knew in the plan Rowan would notice😅 but yeah you were probably king

"The witches fly north," Dorian said. "And I will go with them. To see if I can do what needs to be done." "Stay with us," Rowan offered. "We'll find a way to deal with the keys and the Lock and the gods—all of it." Dorian shook his head. "If you go after Maeve, the keys should be kept far away. If I can help by doing this, by finding the third will serve you better that way." — he will help … and stay with his Witchling

Rally like Aelin had said

Dorian again looked to Manon, who now smiled faintly at him. It was a smile that softened her face, made it come alive. "He won't die if I can help it," the witch said, then surveyed them all.

Hope-precious, fragile hope—stirred in Rowan's blood. — I feel it too.

BOTH of you

And then Aedion forgave him😭

THE SWORD

And we get more Sorrel and Asterin time!

THANK MANON

Red haired queen with a wolf’s smile

“Felt something stir in him-felt the bond flicker. He let the shirt drop, let the wind carry it far out to sea, far away from this blood-drenched place that reeked of pain. I will find you.” — the bond is STILL there

Chaining the wind to him, swiftly catching up with his companions now flying down the coast, he committed her scent to memory, committed that flicker in the bond to memory.

Is this the first time she hasn’t ended the book?And in paralell it’s still her but his lens? Ow?

HIS WIFE & War cry time & HER last name

“That flicker he could have sworn he felt in answer, like the fluttering heart of an ember. Unleashing a cry that set the world trembling, Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius, Consort of the Queen of Terrasen, began the hunt to find his wife.”

Hope? & I WILL FIND YOU …

Final weird opinion: this was somehow both worse and better than I thought it would be? Like no one died. And there’s hope. And so many awesome things. But also Ow! Why? wtf? It made sense but also it didn’t? And WHAT?! But also it was so well done? I don’t know… perhaps pondering is needed.

Bonus chapter then back to life for me! With ToD.

(possible) BONUS chapter(s?):

Bonus Chapter 1. “Aelin & magic in Terrasen in EoS Beginning:

Why are the pages always so pretty?😂

Nice to see everyone together again for one moment (esp. now😅😬)

So was this cut cause they don’t go to Orynth?🤷‍♀️

I thought only Ellywe was burning?

Are the scars a reference to Evangeline?

So two days isn’t the book like three so this is right beginning or pre-begining? Is that what the ToD one is then too? Also any KoA?

I WANNA SEE SQUIRREL STEALING SUPPLIES LYSANDRA

“Aelin stuck out her tongue at the Fae Prince. Evangeline giggled— then quickly hid the grin when Rowan shot a look at her. The girl darted to Lysandra-wholly missing the crinkling in Rowan's eyes as she took over pampering Fleetfoot. Something tightened in Aelin's chest at Rowan's quiet amusement. He and Aedion had both been kind to the girl-knowing when to tease, when to comfort. Two bossy, overbearing older brothers-and trained, lethal killers. Gods help Evangeline when she was old enough to be interested in anyone romantically.” — why do they delete this stuff it tends to be my favorite🥹

I LOVE THEIR LITTLE FAMILY

Represent!!

Oh Aelin jsur wait till you meet Elide & you and Manon try to out-big-sister each other

“They’d have a fire-breathing bitch-queen and a shape-shifter capable of turning into the face of their nightmares waiting to have a little chat.”

“If you turn into a squirrel," Evangeline said into Lysandra's road-dusty white shirt, "will you travel on my shoulder and let me make an acorn hat for you to wear?" Aelin bit her lip, striding toward Rowan and the water before she could make the mistake of meeting Lysandra's gaze and howling. Rowan was indeed clamping his lips together, eyes dazzlingly bright.” — His eyes are so happy for once in these moments😭

Off to the woods again

Oh Oakwald

WAIT THIS SCENE😂

“Indeed, they all were inclined to make the girl happy. Evangeline had suffered enough-seen far more than a child should ever witness. Aelin and Lysandra had as well. As had Aedion, she supposed. But out of all of them... "You had a fairly happy childhood," she said, more musing than question. Rowan nodded nonetheless. "Yes— my parents faded when I was still young. But in all honesty, my uncle's house was much more... fun.” — I can appreciate the cousins more now too … so did Elena fade or is that different?

So can all Whitethorns fly? — Would that mean Aedion can shift? — okay wait it’s being addressed and the golden eagle is cool

"Would they have sided with you—against her?" "It's been so long since I bothered to spend more than a few minutes with them that I honestly don't know. I was not kind to them for a great while. I was worried that they might add more obstacles for you and me." — FORSHADOWING

That explains the cadre even more

Even with Lyria as not his mate he still loved her as did she him (she might not even have felt the bond… it explains disagreements) and the grief is still heavy … he very well might have found her anyway since so long passed and finding mates is so rare

I’d love to see the Whitethorns places like let’s see where he grew up and the houses and stuff… or just build a home together

SHE MADE A BIRD JOKE

When did he officially get banished?

"If I weren't banished from Doranelle for the rest of eternity, I'd invite you to come play house. And I'd give you two days before you were bored out of your mind and grousing to me about it." "I happen to love playing house. Nesting is an art form for me." Her lips twitched. "Don't you dare turn that into some joke about birds."

Ah yes Lysandra & Aedion’s many odd strolls😂

"You looked at me while we were running through the trees, and you smiled." She swallowed. "And you looked... you looked so alive, so wild and alive, and." She traced the contours of his mouth. "I think that was the moment when I began to want you. I didn't know it at the time, but ....I think it was then. You were real and wicked and as savage as I was, and when you saw my speed and the Fae heritage and you didn't balk ... When you only smiled at me... No one had ever done that before. You saw all of me, yet you still smiled." Rowan brushed her unbound hair out of her face. "I think we both tried for a damn long time to convince ourselves of our ... neutrality." He kissed one of her cheekbones, then the other. "I find I prefer this much more." Her toes curled inside her boots. "Likewise, Prince," — why do they cut these moments I’m so glad they at least have bonus chapter

How Rowan had wandered the wilds for ten years ... Aelin didn't like to think about it. Him alone for that long, or the grief and guilt and rage that had thrown him so far into that abyss. That even when he'd returned to civilization a decade later, he hadn't really ... lived. Yes, he'd gone off to war, gone on a thousand adventures, but ... Aelin kept close to Rowan as they made their way into the little village, hooded and cloaked.

So the king had ordered the executions even if he was trying to stop Valg he still did it

That’s why she was learning how to make water butterflies

Same age as Aelin was

Rowan really is a good magic teacher

“A laugh of joy lodged in Aelin's throat as she surveyed the fine details up close. The girl wasn't just strong. She was creative. She'd used different currents to shape patterns into the wings, the entire butterfly in constant motion within its form.” — this is just lovely, Aelin so happy, just a moment of peace

"You're like me?" The accent—the Terrasen accent, the lilt to the words ... She had not spoken to one of her people, in her own land, in ... a very long time. — once again I wish we knew the accent but I’m starting to think Scottish? Irish?

"Not as talented, but yes." And the sound of her accent, the mix of Terrasen and Adarlan... The girls chin lifted. Mistrust—a bit of fear. But courage. A great well of cour-age. The girl did not back down.

So can water magic always heal?

Aelin knew who she meant, but she still looked over her shoulder to Evangeline, who stood between Aedion and Rowan, each warrior with a hand on her shoulder. — protecting her — In the bright sun, the girl's scars were stark—-brutal. "Bad people tried to hurt her," Aelin said. "Mama says that with my magic, I could be a great healer." "You indeed could," Aelin replied, flicking her attention over to where the woman now monitored them with a stone face. "I could heal her scars one day, maybe." Aelin considered. "That is very generous of you. I suppose it would be up to my friend, though—whether she wishes to remove them." With magic-based healing, it'd still be a brutal process, but ... perhaps it was possible. "I could fix yours, too." Clever-eyed little thing. "You could do that, and a great many more things," Aelin said. She went on a bit louder, just so the adults could hear, "You could ensure your fields and farms get proper water. You could keep the fountain's well safe. And yes, you could learn to heal and tend to the sick and injured." "Where?" said a low female voice. Aelin looked to the older woman seated on the cracked fountain lip-the town's matron. "Where does she learn such things?" the woman pushed. Aelin paused. She didn't know. Had no idea. "They burned the magic academy," the woman said. "There's no place left to learn." "I know," Aelin said. "Then don't put dreams in her head," the woman snapped. Aelin's cheeks heated. But Aedion said behind her, still hidden beneath his hood, "Terrasen will be rebuilt. Give it a few years, and there will be a place."

"If war comes, if we survive, wait a year after it ends. Then come to Orynth, and find Celaena Sardothien. Go to the castle and tell them you're looking for her, and have come at last for magic lessons." — I really want this full circle (and ugh that means Aelin still believed she’d see it back then) and also so many peoples she’s helped and then all showing up in EoS

"Do not be afraid of what makes you shine brightly." — how in the world did that line get cut?

The double sided gold coin (is her head/picture on it)

Eyes so bright from Fireheart

The water butterfly followed🥹

Is the next day where we resume then?

"There is nothing to fix"

I wish they all blamed themselves less

"You don't need it, Evangeline. You're perfect as you are." — reason 5013 why I love Aedion — Lysandra was just staring at her young ward, devastation in those pale green eyes. Devastation and yet... Lysandra glanced at Aedion, who had moved to sit beside Evangeline and was showing her how to make a proper daisy chain. Aelin didn't miss the change in Lysandra's expression, even in ghost leopard form, as she took in the warrior.

Rowan knew she told the girl

“The pride in his eyes made her throat tighten. "It is an honor to serve you.” — yeah I needed that chapter after this cliffhanger ending — “But Aelin shook her head, looking at him, at Aedion, at Evangeline, and Lysandra, watching over them all. "The honor is all mine," she said softly.”

AHHHH ITS SQUIRREL LYSANDRA I AM LIVING FOR THIS — Lysandra remained in squirrel form throughout the day, and the next one after that, and wore her acorn hat as proudly as any fine lady while she rode atop Evangeline's shoulder.

Bonus Chapter 2: Chaol & Nesryn travel (pre ToD)

Actually looking forward to this I needed it and I missed them

Well I had notes but tumblr deleted them and now I’m just disappointed

Where’s the fan art and how to tell special editions / get them?

It’s chaol all in one, every side, the one I loved, the one I hated, the one he was, the one he will be

SARTAQ sounds familiar

Brutal upbringing by the sounds of that cheery deacription

Can’t wait for the map; please tell me there’s a new one

Even he knew about Rowan; that they were soulmates

Needing an additional Aedion your not style broken moment

Adventure to save and risk what they love most

She on fleek

Terrin please be in terrasin

Someone please tell them so they don’t worry when they hear and actually have letters this time pre Rifthold falls so they don’t see all that

So do they already know then about the witches?

Endure — that word again!

Old king hatred line sneak peek for tower of dawn my how much has changed

Aelin’s negotiations lol yeah it fits her vibe

He tried everyday CHAOL WESTFALL YALL

Dorian sent them with books🥹

From the moment Nehemia died OW AGAIN NO WHY AN I ALREADY CRYING

This is the HoF for Chaol? isn’t it? His healing? Taking me back to Chaolaena to break me again? — cause I’m back there again

No verbal wars😭 I miss the days of sparring and no one dying

He would beat this he would fight it YES HE WOULD

Come on with the army HURRY NOW PLEASE

How about empress??? Hmm??

Oh wait yeah!!!

Oh noooooo

How do you solve a problem like Maria but it’s Aelin lol how to describe her well maybe try 9 books

She does fall for the world, in love & apart

She’s a storm; that much is true

Empire you say??? Perhaps one of storms

Assassin queen YES

She was always her but yes it did change — He calls her Aelin now And is harsh again — then the name mix back to Celaena Aa I FELL IN LOVE WITH A FACET… so much was just said — crying again — Nesryn says Aelin’s because he knows what she meant the respect or whatever it is living there

Unfaltering THATS NESRYN

What’s her connection to SARTAQ??? Could we get a queen ally? Maybe Yrene is one of the kids of the secret assassin? Some kinda connection?

Oh Nesryn

Oh chaol

Oh the feels

Yet also needed after that ending back to the good old days and a story and I’m already hooked But also the timeline I MUSR KNOW But also so SO much and legit I’m ready to start the series now

Together.

Thank you Nesryn for that speech!!!

What conclusions? Chaol??

He’d yet to find the one that makes him want to live again 😭

See Aelin has Rowan Dorian has Chaol neither will die great we’re good then

More random thoughts out of order: so you would say he is NOT the captain now? Yay therapy ship? Did she steal another of Rolfe’s?

Quotes time cause I’m lazy & remixing:

“The beginnings of an adventure that may doom or save those they love most ...” — well that’s not concerning after this last book

“Wind Cuttor”

He wouldn't have put it past either of them to have bribed or bullied the ship's captain into yielding the room- but from the polite, cool distance with which the captain treated him and Nesryn, Chaol suspected that the Queen of Terrasen had made a point of visiting the ship before departing for her own kingdom. A suspicion that was only solidified by the handprint burned into the desk across the room.

He tried. Every day he tried to get just one of his toes to move. The empty silence that greeted him was more terrifying than those moments facing the king. — so did the king not trying to kill him?

Has a very “she never talked” “he never asked” vibe

Everything with her had been out of order from the very start. They hadn't even really become proper friends until this spring. And they certainly weren't lovers now.

“They'd vanished the moment Nehemia Ytger had died,”

Dorian appointed him the King's Hand, he was still no better than an oath-breaker, a liar, a traitor. — join the club kid

It’s interesting that Chaol’s starts acknowledging mercy as the term and Nesryn starts with merciless

"It will only get worse," — I don’t care if your talking about the sun stop it and knock on wood right this second before it comes true

“Peacefully- calmly. Not at all like the verbal sparring that had always accompanied sessions with Aelin. He wondered if it made him a bastard for not knowing what he preferred.”

“He would beat this; he would fight this.” — there’s the foreshadowing I need/want

Is there a possibility Khagan have to do with silent assassins?

Maybe Maeve’s far away place will be this continent and they can help?

The last khagan had been female a mighty empress who had made slavery illegal, paid good money to bring in artists of all kinds to enrich her cities, and opened trade routes with previous enemies, filling her empire's coffers to the point of overflowing.

Chaol wondered what it had been like to grow up in that household-to be a potential khagan heir and know your siblings might one day kill you. Though Chaol supposed it wouldn't be too different from his own upbringing. — ow lol

"How do I explain Aelin Galathynius?"

“do you still hold hope for her?" "No," he said, his voice flat and hollow. "She changed her mind; she changed—as a person. And even if she had wanted to be with me, I would not have left Dorian, and she would have gone to Terrasen, and it would never have worked. And perhaps we would have been a bit shattered by it, but whether in a year, or ten... Rowan would have been there. Waiting for her, all that time." — It’s romantic but it’s true — "That's a rather romantic view of it." But her gaze rose to his face—to the scar along his cheek, courtesy of Aelin. "She's allowed to fall in and out of love as she chooses." "And have you fallen out of love with her?" "This spring and summer was a maelstrom," he said tightly, glancing at the burned handprint peeking from beneath a stack of papers across the desk. "Between Dorian, and all that happened ... Everything fell apart. If the price of getting Dorian back was losing her, then so be it."

"Am I supposed to lie in bed and weep over it? That I was not the man she wanted? Am I supposed to mourn the fact that the dreams I had, the plans I made, were all for a woman who did not exist? Loving an assassin with no responsibilities is completely different from loving a queen with a kingdom and a world to look after. Would I have loved her if I had known from the start what she is?" He shook his head. "If I had met her now... my first instinct would have been to protect Dorian from her. I expect the hagan to feel the same." His words sank in, one by one. He added more calmly, running a hand over his face

"That's the difference. Celaena was a fraction of Aelin- both good and bad. But Aelin... She is Celaena, and she is queen, and she is the Fire-Bringer. I fell in love with a facet, and I panicked when I realized it was a fraction of the whole— when I saw that power, that heritage, and... It was not a part of my plans." He looked to the sea gleaming behind her, the wind whipping the waves. "Rowan Whitethorn saw every-thing. From the moment he met her, he saw all of Aelin. And he was not afraid. I don't blame either of them for falling in love. I don't blame her." He loosed a shuddering breath. "I was what Celaena needed after Endovier. But Rowan is who Aelin needs— forever."

"And what about what you need?" "I have never been in a position to demand the things I need. This trip... is the first." "You give and give and give," she murmured. "When will it be enough?" "It is my honor to serve." "I don't mean in that way. When have you ever been selfish?" "Stop trying to make me out to be something I'm not." She lowered her hand from his hair, the corner of her mouth tugging upward. "And what is that? A good man?" "People died because of me." — I’m glad he has her looking out for him & there it is starting weight the weight of Cain to now

“He met those dark eyes. Unfaltering will glimmered in them.” — I love that THIS is how he describes her

"You will walk again," Nesryn repeated. "And you will remember that you are a good man regardless, a brave and selfless man. You will remember that you may not have magic, but there is mighty power in the strength of ordinary people. You will remember that..." Her chest heaved, and she steadied herself with a long breath. "You will remember, Chaol," she said, "that the world needs men like you. In war, and after it. Especially after it." — well said… remembering why I fell for him & Apart over it in the first place

"I will go where I am needed most." "And if that is at my side?" "Then that is where I shall be." Her dark eyes flickered. "But I hold you to no promises, Chaol. I expect nothing." "Why?" "Because I know who I am-what I am. You turned to me last summer, after Lithaen left you for Lord Roland. You turned to me again this spring, after Aelin. I am not the first choice. But for now, it suits my own interests to be here. I enjoy your company— enjoy you." He wasn't sure how the conversation had shifted toward this. "You-you aren't some sort of consolation prize." She let out a low laugh and leaned in to kiss the top of his head. "Would you have picked me if Aelin had come running back to you? Would you have noticed my existence?" — you are NOT an eternal consolation prize Nesryn you are MORE and ooh my word Not the flashbacks, oh my old Chaolaena heart😭 — He hated words, had always preferred action. And this ... He still had nothing to say as she shut the door behind herself. — Time to learn to communicate

"You can't stop fighting. You can't stop living. Or you will never survive what's ahead."

"Says the woman who barely smiles and laughs." "Do not mistake my reserve for lack of feeling. Do not think that because I don't flash my emotions around it means that I do not have them. That I do not have hopes and fears and desires. I have had to learn to be calm, to be quiet and aloof- because growing up in a city where most people were predisposed to dislike me for my heritage, I had to be those things. And now that we are headed into war, I find that those things are gifts. But I do not shut out the world. I do not shut out life. And I think you were doing that for a long, long time before your spine was broken. Before even Aelin came along." — before celeana too — & Like Lysandra and Aelin Nesryn is always right

And he would fight like hell to keep Dorian from that fate, to save Adarlan, but ... he didn't really see the point in bothering to fall in love with the world. Not when it could be taken from him. Not with so many dangers waiting to rip them apart.

“Even with the words between them, when he awoke at dawn, Nesryn was nestled against him, her hand curled against his bare chest. Right over his heart—as if she held it gently in her palm. Chaol laid his hand over hers, listening to her steady, unfaltering breathing. He would fight-but... he wasn't quite sure how to even begin this business of living.”

Also are there any half finished or cut ones to look up? — think I got em all?

Then onto my next read ⬇️

(possible) Tower of Dawn pre-read/first start thoughts: 4 later!

Okay now it’s officially time Road here I come bright & early (hopefully) yay