#Also bare with me im so late im still catching up i have no idea whats happening rn today in qsmp

[bandy-andy]

No one seemed to freak out about that qbbh and qphilza hug, but don't worry. I will enough for everyone

[lovelettersfromluna]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sweet Little Lies *ੈ✩‧₊˚

{Ellie Williams x Reader}

Summary: Being on tour with someone you’ve been ignoring for two months is hard…but doable

an: AHHHHHH!!! I am so excited to finally give you guys the second part of The Perfect Girl! I can confidently say that the vibe of this one has been so much fun to write and think about ideas for, and it makes me so happy that you’ve been enjoying it! This one is pretty short, im sorry but! the next part will be longer, fluffier and much smuttier hehe. Anyways, I hope you guys like this part too. 🖤 (Also yes I know I posted this before the poll was up but y'all saw how it was going im sorry I am an impatient woman)

Warnings: 18+!!! Eventual smut, Ellie is selfish point blank period, reader is extremely sad, some making out but doesn't lead to much, ANGST!!!!, this one is pretty short so not many warnings hehe. let me know if I missed anything pleaseeee.

Part 1 can be read here!

The rest of the tour was…rough.

After the night at the club, the silent treatment that you had for Ellie had gone from simply ignoring her, to pretending like she didn’t even exist.

Shows were awkward, practice was awkward, being in a fucking band with her was awkward. Not to mention the very noticeable divide that it put between you and the other members.

The entire situation made it hard to talk to anyone. It made you feel extremely isolated, because you had convinced yourself that no one could possibly understand, especially not the other two men in your band, so you barely spoke to anyone.

In return of that, the other members found it hard to talk to Ellie. Because ever since you had pulled away, things were just no longer the same.

The late nights hanging out in someone’s hotel room stopped, partying after shows were done without you, and the only times anyone truly ever saw you was when you had to perform. When you were done, you’d quietly go back to your hotel room to sulk.

The tour ended that way, with you silently pulling all of your things from the back of the tour bus once you had returned home and catching a cab back to your apartment in the city, going against the tradition that you all had done every time when coming back home, which was going to your favorite local bar and trying to out drink each other before stumbling home in the cold.

So now, you were home, still ignoring everyone.

It was hard for you. Because the girl you’ve looked up to for so long, wanted for so long, had said such mean things about you. And you weren’t an idiot, because never for a second did you ever think that Ellie could ever want you the way that you wanted her, even when you were wrapped up in her arms at night, or when she whispered stupid jokes in your ear whenever you were sad, her lips ghosting over your skin, you never once thought that you could have her. Because you weren’t a kid with a great big imagination, with hopes and dreams that you’d one day be swept off of your feet by her.

You knew deep down that it would never work out, and you were okay with that. You had long accepted that your love was unrequited, and as much as it hurt you to see her date girls she’d only known for a few weeks, and fuck countless groupies every night, you never let it get to you.

But hearing her say what she said, hearing those words fall from her pretty lips….it was like something was eating you from the inside out, and the love that you had for Ellie couldn’t outweigh the pain that she brought you.

And you couldn’t fucking do it anymore.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

The decision you had made didn’t come without heartache. You cried, you screamed, you threw things, ruining your room entirely, your rage and sadness burned you so deeply, because in all of this you still blamed yourself, and not her.

It had been almost a month since you got back from tour, and you could count on your hands how many times you left your apartment. Dylan and Charlie came by the visit a few times, and their apologetic smiles somehow pissed you off even further, because it made you feel small and frail, like you’d never be able to come back from this on your own.

You appreciated them, and you enjoyed the times they were around because it gave you an out from thinking about Ellie.

But all good things would come to an end.

That’s how you found yourself at Dylan’s apartment. He was shocked when you showed up, having not seen you outside of your apartment in who knows how long.

He knew that whatever it was you were there for, was serious.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ellie felt like she was seeing red.

She slammed the door to her car once she arrived at your apartment building, her nostrils flaring as she breathed hard. She couldn’t even stop for a moment to think about what she was doing, or if you’d even be home.

But after her phone call with Dylan, she didn’t care. She needed to see you.

After tour had ended, she had found her way to your place a few times. The first time she had a bouquet of red roses gripped between her hand, which after 10 minutes of standing outside your door, she took home and threw in the trash. The second time she came by with a box of cookies from your favorite bakery, which she ended up angrily shoving into Charlie’s chest when she came back home and he was at her apartment waiting for her to teach him a new guitar riff. The third time she simply slipped a hand written note under your door about how sorry she was, which you had promptly ripped up once you saw the small ‘from: Ellie :’)’ written on the front.

That was the last time she had showed up, figuring that you’d come around whenever you had cooled down from the entire situation. What she didn’t expect though, was for it to go on for months after tour had ended.

But she was done, she was over this and she was over you ignoring her.

She knocked on your door loudly, staring knuckles banging on the wood of your front door, making you frown as the loud noise echoed throughout your apartment. You sighed, opening the door harshly.

“I told you I didn’t want one of your fucking pamphlets! If you don’t leave I’m calling the fucking-“ your words were cut off, eyes going wide as you looked up and caught eye of Ellie.

A very angry Ellie.

You sighed tiredly, already trying to close the door on her. “Go home Ellie…” you mumbled out. But her palm was pressing against your door and stopping you from closing it on her.

“You’re quitting the fucking band?” Her voice is harsh, and her words make you freeze as you stop pushing your door closed.

You figured word would’ve gotten out sooner or later…you just preferred later rather than sooner.

You let out a sigh, one of your hands coming up to tuck a strand of your hair back before you give her a half shrug. “I told Dylan not to tell you until the end of the month..” you mumble out, your eyes staring at your sock clad feet.

The second you confirm it, you’re confirming Ellie’s greatest nightmare, and she’s pushing past you and walking into your apartment before you can even tell her that you don’t want her in that, and that she needed to leave.

There’s no use in fighting her, because she’s already there and she’s clearly very pissed off, so you simply close your door behind you and lock it. You figure that if this is the last conversation you’ll have with Ellie, it might as well be this one.

Ellie is pacing back and forth in your small living room, hands in her hips as she tries to get a grip of everything that she’s learned within the past few hours. She wants it to be a lie, she wanted to come to your apartment and have you tell her it was all a prank, and she’d finally hear that pretty laugh of yours when you too made up and cuddled on your couch.

But you weren’t, you weren’t giving Ellie any of that and it made her feel even more pissed off.

“Ellie…” you mumbled softly, reaching out and trying to grab her arm gently, trying to calm the girl down so you could explain.

Ellie pulled her arm away the second you tried reaching out for her. The soft tone of yours was all she had wanted for the last three months, hearing the way you’d soothe her when she became too consumed in her feelings.

But Ellie felt betrayed, she felt like she was being left behind, like you were throwing her away and leaving her like everyone else did.

You were abandoning her.

“No! Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t talk to me for three months and the first thing I hear about you doesn’t even come directly from you? You didn’t even have the fucking decency to sit us down and tell all of us…you told Dylan and you had him deliver your message to us like he’s your fucking bitch” she spat.

You knew she was mad, you knew she’d come to your apartment in a rage when she found out. You had prepared for it, you prepared for all the nasty things Ellie would say to you.

But you didn’t expect any of this..

You inhaled deeply, trying your best not to let her words affect you.

“Look, Ellie…I just…it took me a long time to figure out what I needed to do to feel better. I don’t…it just isn’t working for me anymore-“ she cut you off, her hurtful words coming back with a vengeance.

“Bull fucking shit.” She spits out, and her tone is enough to make you flinch. Her words are cutting into you just like they had that night in her hotel room, and you’re trying to find something in you to not lose your fucking mind right now.

“You’re leaving because of me, because of something I said. You’re…you’re leaving behind something fucking amazing because I hurt your feelings. I don’t know how many times I have to say it! But I’m fucking sorry! Okay? I feel awful for what I said and I wish I could take it back but I can’t, and I’m sorry, but you’re being weak for leaving because of it” she yells out.

And everything stops….because all you can hear from anything shes just said…

Is that you, are weak.

And it’s like some sort of fucking phenomenon or something, because you suddenly feel like you’re being transported to that night, and you’re standing behind a wall, listening to Ellie laugh about how…how fucking unwanted you are.

And you don’t hold back anymore. You’re done holding back.

“Yes Ellie, are you even listening to yourself right now? Have you for one fucking second not been a selfish asshole to think about how any of this has affected me?” Your voice is tired, and it sounds like you’ve been internally fighting with yourself to keep these words inside.

“You hurt me Ellie! If you’re so sorry you said those things, then why did you fucking say them? Is it so hard to just say you don’t see me that way? To be a sensible human fucking being and not trying to dig me into a deeper hole than you already fucking have?” Your voice is growing louder and louder, and you’re slowly closing the space between the both of you as you shout at her.

When you’re right in front of her, your chest almost pressed against hers, your voice is quiet, and it almost sounds like you’re whispering to her for a moment.

“I never once believed that you could ever want me…but saying the things that you said about me, and then sabotaging me whenever I’m trying to live my fucking life…I can’t do it anymore Ellie…I can’t be around you anymore..”

Ellie almost fucking whimpers, because the tone of your voice is nearly enough to bring her to tears.

You aren’t even fighting anymore, you’re just tired. You’re practically begging her to let you go because she’s just held you in her hands for too long, never giving you the chance to grow and become something more than what you are.

Ellie feels it, just by the look in your eyes, she can feel that this will be the last chance she has to tell you, to come clean and stop lying to herself and to you.

Shes being given one last chance, so she knows she can’t mess it up.

“I’m in love with you.” She deadpans.

You roll your eyes, walking away from the girl. You had no time for games, and that surely meant Ellie falsely confessing her love for you just to keep you in the band.

You nodded your head towards your door as you watched her. “Nice try Ellie. I’m sure you’ll be able to charm some other girl enough to replace me as lead singer by the end of the month. It’s time for you to go” you sigh out.

And Ellie is practically whining as she makes her way over to you, towering over you as she pleads.

“I…I’m not lying…fuck id never lie about this. Leave the band if you want, I don’t care, I just…” she grabs your hand, bringing it up to lay over her heart as she sighs “I need you to know how sorry I am..and how I feel about you…” she sighs out.

Your eyebrows were furrowed as you looked down at your hand pressed against her chest, rolling your eyes as you used the placement to push her away from you.

“Ellie, cut it out. Seriously. I heard what you said about me, I heard all of it. Im not your type, remember? I look like a kicked puppy everytime you’re with another girl” you sighed out as you pushed past her, walking off into your living room before plopping onto the couch with a loud huff.

Ellie was groaning softly, hearing her own words being relayed to her in your voice made her heart break even more than it had before. She followed behind you, sitting on the couch and reaching for you.

“I..I didn’t mean any of that! I panicked!” her words catch your attention, but she groans when she sees the unamused look you’re giving her.

“I swear…just…” She tried, pleading for just a bit of your time before she was getting on her knees in front of you, pushing your legs apart so that her body was pressed against the edge of the couch, and you had no choice but to look at her.

“I’m an idiot, okay? The last thing I wanted was for Charlie and Dylan to tease me about having a massive fucking crush on you…I just…you’re too good for me, I’m not…I know that you deserve better than me…but I can’t help the way I feel about you. It eats away at me at night and it makes it hard to sleep and it doesn’t stop unless you’re around” She rambled, her eyebrows knitted together as she spoke.

Her closeness made your cheeks burn red, and you tried to keep your face down because you knew the longer you’d look into her eyes, the easier it would be for her to make you fold. You frowned as you shook your head, and before you could even speak, she was already talking.

“Please…please I’m so sorry baby…it’s killing me…not being with you is fucking killing me. I’ll leave the band, I’ll pack up and you can find a new guitarist to take my place just..” her words died down, and her fingers were placed gently under your chin to force you to look at her, and you almost lost your breath because..

Ellie was crying.

And not only was Ellie crying, but Ellie was crying for you.

Her green eyes were rimmed red, and her eyelashes were clumping together, and your insides twisted because all you wanted to do was to hold her, pull her into your chest and tell her that it was okay, that you were okay, and that you could be together.

But you couldn’t. Not after what she did.

“Ellie I…I can’t…” you mumbled softly. You opened your mouth to explain further, but you found that you couldn’t speak.

Because Ellie’s like were pressed firmly against yours.

Her long fingers were cupping either side of your face, keeping you close as her lips moved against yours. You gasped softly, trying to break away from her, but she used it as an opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth, and from that point on, you melted into her completely.

You moaned softly, and Ellie was already pushing you back to lay against the couch, her body hovering over yours as she kissed you so deeply, so passionately, you could feel all of the love she had for you seeping into your mouth.

It felt amazing, having you pressed up against her, whining into her mouth and breathlessly begging for more. It was like every dream Ellie had ever had of you was finally coming true…

But she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that came with it.

If this is what Ellie had always wanted, why was it that she felt like she was doing something wrong? Why did it loom over her like a dark cloud, soaking into her core and making her feel terrible about doing this to you…distracting you from everything she’s done with sweet kisses and breathy moans.

She wanted it…god she wanted it more than anything

But this wasn’t right.

She furrowed her eyebrows as she gripped your waist, moaning softly as she pulled away from you. You frown in confusion, staring up at her and searching for what might be wrong, what you had done to make her stop.

“What? What is it Els?” And Ellie swears she’s never heard something so sweet, the nickname you had for her like the sweetest melody she’d ever heard.

She sighed, gently pulling away from you as she shook her head. “This isn’t right…” she mumbled softly. She sits down across from you, her legs spread with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over a bit.

You frown as you watch her, sitting up and adjusting your tank top, suddenly feeling extremely exposed underneath the girls presence. “Do you…not want me?” You mumble softly. Ellie’s eyes are nearly bulging out of her head as she quickly turns to you, grabbing your face and pulling you close as she shakes her head quickly.

“No! God no I….you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of angel…it’s just…” she sighs, her voice raspy before she starts again. “This isn’t how this is supposed to go…you’re worth so much more than what I’ve given to you…I’ve been mean, and selfish and...And I come here expecting you to just forgive me and...and give yourself to me and...it isn't right.." She sighs out. You pout softly as you listen to her, and you are suddenly remembering all of the things that Ellie said, and you can't help but agree that the wounds are still fresh.

She notices how deep in thought you are, and she uses her strong hands to grip your thighs and pull you so you're straddling her lap. She licks her lips, her hands toying with the plush skin of your thighs as you both stay there for a moment, before she breaks the silence.

"Im not going to convince you that you need to stay in the band...if you really want to leave, thats your decision..but..." She sighs softly.

"Let me prove to you that you're what I want...give me one chance to do this the right way, and I promise princess...you won't regret it.." Her voice is raspy, and it reminds you of all the times she would talk to you while you both laid in bed together and you couldn't sleep. It reminds you of all the times Ellie called you on the phone in the middle night, too high and too needy, just so she could hear your voice.

And it reminds you of how in love you are with Ellie Williams..

Your hands slowly go to rest on her shoulders, your fingers toying with the ends of her hair at the nape of her neck, and you can swear you can see the girl visibly glow the second you give her a nod. In an instant, she's pulling you closer and pressing kisses to your neck, in spots that she knows you're extremely ticklish at. You nudge her gently to stop before you both settle down.

"Thank you angel...I promise...I'll do right by you.." She mumbles softly, her pretty green eyes staring at your plush lips before she leans in, pressing the softest, most gentle kiss to them, almost as if she were afraid she'd break you all over again.

[levmada]

Hey how are you feeling?

Im glad your requests are still open. Loved the answer to my last request so I hope you don’t mind me sending in another one?

Some cute hurt/comfort with taller gn reader and postwar Levi. After the ackermanbond is gone I imagine Levi getting really sick for the very first time. Fever and everything also adding the flashbacks to when his mom got sick. And reader ofc nursing him back to health and also comforting him 🧡

im so so so so so so SO sorry😭i took literal months with this sari... i wish i had a good excuse, but i hope you like this :(

i took a lot of inspo from this eruri fic from ao3. stress cannn cause flu-like symptoms, and i wanted this to be the outcome of all those years of suffering for levi finally catching up to him.

probably not medically accurate: it's not very clear what the nature of levi's knee injury. it's seen partially crushed, but it's not clear what medical technology marley has (especially w/ the last volume cover in mind). i'm functioning on my idea that levi can't get around without a wheelchair, but he does have range of motion, partly based on the health of the cartilage/joints/bone, but mostly based how painful it is. it's more complicated than that, but i wanted to add a disclaimer anyway.

(tldr this is the levi torture hour)

➥ pairing: postwar!Levi x taller!gn!reader

➥ about: Not even Levi is invulnerable, both after the war and back then, so it's stupid to be scared when he gets sick.

Until it isn't.

➥ c/w: sick fic, post-war Levi, delirium/nightmares, reverse hurt comfort, implied past csa, happy ending (promise), medical inaccuracies, nightmares, established relationship (married)

➥ wc: 5.3k

In the comfortable, quiet rays of mid-morning, you hum to yourself, and sip your mug of tea. You watch a white cardinal with red tips toddle on the windowsill on the other side of the glass. That’s rare.

It takes off.

You trace the rim of your mug, sighing slowly but heavily through your nose. It’s getting harder not to think about it.

You want to think that—now that you and Levi are retired (what an odd word…)—it’s reached that natural time to start sleeping better. Sleeping in, not out of an absurdly rare indulgence, but to relax.

It’s been nine months, not counting the few Levi was cooped-up in the hospital.

Even for him, relaxation shouldn’t be impossible after some point. In fact, he hasn’t shot awake just before dawn for a while, anticipating a reveille that won’t ring out.

But you fought beside him; your bad habits and your happiness wrestle over the reality of your new life too.

But…

You reach across the small wood table and hover your hand over the cup of tea you poured for him; decent, but not piping hot and steaming like earlier.

This will be a once in a lifetime opportunity: you get to coax Levi out of bed late in the morning.

You stand, bringing your arms behind your head to stretch just a little as you walk to the hall, down to the bedroom. The door is cracked like you left it.

Like a tired waterfall, the vast majority of the thick covers lay spilled haphazardly to the floor, so you’re surprised even before you take a look at Levi, who’s still curled up asleep, facing your way. That leaves his back to the light glowing through the curtains.

He kicked them off?

Like the sheets, his sweater is white; his trousers are dark, loose and cut (with his knee brace on underneath). With his arms tightly crossed like that, and the harsh crease sitting on his brow, he almost looks awake and stressed out.

“G’morning, ‘Vi…”

Importantly, his pallor, normally as pale as snow, glows pink. A few strands of black cling to his forehead.

You stride over with a bit of a frown that wasn’t as deep when you were feeling just plain impatient, and take a sit on the edge of the bed.

“Are you feeling sick, baby…?”

That crease deepens. He twitches awake. "M-Mm?"

Now that you’re close, you notice his breathing is a little labored. You touch your knuckles to his temple. Eyes barely crack open.

"Sweetheart, ‘Vi… You definitely have a fever..."

You comb his bangs off his damp forehead, and they close.

The heat radiating off his skin—you grimace a little.

Actually... have you ever seen Levi so much as under the weather? You can’t even remember.

He shifts slightly, as your strokes rouse him.

"Do you feel sick?" you ask for the second time.

"Huh? I'm fine..."

His eyes finally blink open, fluttering once or twice. But then, a shadow passes over his face that seems to disprove that assertion of his.

He shoves his elbow underneath himself and starts to lift himself up. "Stop—fretting. 'm fine."

He gets most of the way; he’s resting heavily on one arm when he grunts, then leans.

"Stop, sweetheart," you huff, and take him by the shoulder. "What hurts? Your head?"

Looking dazed, like he’s not all there, he lifts his bad hand to his temple and, with his ring and little finger, feels his temple.

“Don’t know…”

"Lay back down, you clearly need some rest—even if this is rare for you, okay?"

“What?” He looks perturbed with you. “Don’t be stupid. There’s too much t’do. N’ I’m fine,” he grumbles, blatantly lying.

"Levi..." you warn.

"I'm just... tired," he mumbles. He rubs his eye with his thumb. "Fuck. Fucking tired."

His strength starts to evaporate as his eyes slip closed.

In an instant—before he collapses—you thrust your arms around him, and lay him back down on his side slowly.

It doesn’t quite hit you until you maneuver his arm out from under him, and listen to his even but labored breathing for a bit of time.

You stare down, eyes wide. Are you scared?—Or anxious?

Well either way—it’s not until you stopped being at risk for a violent death day-in and day-out for years that you even realized you were constantly anxious.

It’s not a nice feeling.

It’s okay. Though. You rationalize. Not even Levi is impervious to everything, and certainly not now. It’s stupid to be surprised.

You feel his forehead with the back of your hand one more time, and kiss your teeth. Definitely a fever, but an exact number wouldn’t hurt.

The thermometer and other simple medicines are shoved in one of the high kitchen cabinets, a second thought when you both moved into this quaint little cabin in the woods (aside from his prescriptions). You didn’t even say it out loud, even. 

Now pinched between your fingers, you stand back and stutter on your feet, unsure of what else you need. You want to need something more helpful, but the need to go and check back on him is most powerful. 

A short ways down the hall, you pick up on the unbelievable yet unmistakable sound of… crying. Unrestrained, and yet, the kind of crying that steals breath. 

You expect to wake up as soon as you reach the bedroom—some disturbing but absurd dream.

But you don’t. He’s curled up where you left him, eyes closed but now gasping sharply through his teeth with tears glistening on his cheeks. One drips off his trembling chin.

You drop onto the edge of the bed immediately, and try to speak, but find yourself helplessly stuck at a complete loss as to where to even start.

“Why…” You card your fingers through his hair, to no reaction. He must be asleep, right?—But how, why?

“Hey, hey, c’mere,” you coo gently, sitting so as to swaddle his back and caress his head.

You make it all not sound like a question. “Everything’s okay. It’s okay, sweetheart… Wake up.”

His eyes tightly shut, and tears squeeze through. He croaks. “Can wake up.”

It takes a moment for you to register that he really meant to pronounce it as “can’t”.

“…You sound sorta freaked out, and you want to talk to Falco?—Is Levi alright??”

You silently curse Gabi for being so observant.

“Which place? I have the books, um, right here…!”

“No…” You swallow a little, and coil the bright red cord to the phone around and around your finger. You wish it was as simple as some tinnitus, or nerve pain. 

“No?” Gabi asks on a high lilt; a question within a question.

“I know. He never gets sick, which is why I want to talk to Falco. I appreciate you trying to help, but please hurry?”

“Oh yeah, okay!”

You peer over your shoulder from your place stood in the hall and rock on your heels nervously. The only space of time you could find where you could bear to leave him was when he was quiet.

Falco has matured so much, even over the past year, and you trust him with this. He’s training to be a doctor; being a soldier never suited him much anyway. Levi was the first to say so, as usual the perfect judge of character. 

You speak slowly and calmly to him, encouraged by his own composure.

“It sounds like a flu, just with that added symptom,” he’s thinking out loud. Thin pages turn. “Severe stress can cause flu-like symptoms sometimes… Especially when it’s prolonged. Does that sound like anything?” 

 “No. No way.” You shake your head, your brow pinched tightly. In fact you laugh. “Haven’t fought any Titans lately, at least.”

His voice lowers, thinking as he talks. “True, yeah. Especially for you guys, nothing could ever really compare, right?”

“You have no idea. Not with Levi.”

“We can talk about it another time, maybe,” you amend quickly. You know almost for certain that’s not going to happen.

Falco hums. “Anyway, if that’s the case, that would explain why it’s been so severe, with the sudden onset. But think of it like a fever he needs to sweat out,” he explains.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You hear the light smile in his voice. “Don’t be too far away, though. It’s easy to tell, you know.”

You smile to yourself.

Even if the Rumbling somehow started back up above your head, you’d rather die. 

You write on a little notepad—some scrawl verbatim—Falco’s directions and words of advice, the phone trapped between your ear and shoulder. Most of it is generic, for influenza of course, but you write. 

A blunt but dense thump sounds not so far away. You even flinch, but just as quickly let Falco know you’ll be right back.

In the bedroom, the pale blue duvet and sheets spilled onto the floor looks like a stiff waterfall being wrenched this way and that by Levi’s attempts to sit back up, like a puppet trying to pull its own strings. He grunts in what sounds like frustration, but you can’t know for sure as his bangs obscure his eyes. His hair all over is a downright wreck.

Gaping, you fall down beside him and hurry working off all the offending fabrics he’s twisted in. 

“Lee—…”

Your help lets his shaky hand hover over his knee, like he can’t be sure if it’s his. He’s breathing hard; it’s ten times shakier than his hand.

“Come here.”

He doesn’t so much as twitch, but he doesn’t resist either. Then, when something in him registers that you’re there, he leans into you like you’ve just brought the weight of the world off his shoulders. 

You tug the soft pantleg up, and sigh at what you see. The scarring, like a row of pink and purple mountains stabbed into his flesh, is more inflamed than usual, leg minutely trembling when you raise it.

He must’ve tried to stand up.

“Does it hurt very bad?”

Not even such an obvious question gets you a retort of any kind. He whines softly when you have to brace that area to lift him back up, but no more.

From the dull darkened blue cotton in the shape of a V in the center of his chest, and coming down from his underarms, he’s burning up; you need to get started just as soon as you’re finished with Falco. For now, you wipe his clammy temples and brush his bangs back. He’s looking at you, but he doesn’t seem to see.

“Levi…” You press on his round cheeks under your palms, grimacing at the heat pelting off his skin.

He moans softly, some relief softening his features. “Huh. Take m’jack-et. Yer cold.”

You shake your head even though he can’t see, as, sharply and without warning, tears appear and stab at your eyes. He’s not even wearing a jacket. 

“Be right back,” you manage. “Okay?”

You don’t really expect a response, and you don’t get one.

First thing’s first, he needs water. You feel stupid not thinking of that first. That was at the top of Falco’s directions. 

You catch Levi in a moment of relative quiet—not peace, but quiet—and cradle the back of his neck, unhinging his jaw with your other. Easy enough. You tip the glass and feed him water with the utmost care and precision. This is some act terribly intimate, a type of intimacy removed from hand-holding or sex entirely while managing to rank above them both. Over all these years, his life has been in your hands a few times, but feeding him pills—something for the fever and something for the pain—and working his shirt off for something fresh and loose-fitting feels more reverent even still. You put him in shorts and practically fortify his knee with a brace and pillows wrapped up with the belt of a housecoat so even if he rolls over, he won’t.

He chokes on a sob while you’re tucking a cold press behind his neck, forcing you to stop. His eyes squeeze shut.

“Levi?” you ask softly.

Either he’s having a nightmare, or he’s in pain, or, both. He tightens his crossed arms. His first movement in hours.

“What hurts? Falco said it might be your head.”

Another sob bursts from him. “S’head’s all over the wall, looked, it… sorry….”

He continues mumbling, but none of it sounds like words. 

"Levi, it's okay, it's okay. Okay, baby? S'okay," you murmur; on and on. The washcloth has gotten smushed between his shoulder and the pillow—you set that somewhere aside. Then you lean over, rubbing with your thumbs the tears off his glistening cheeks, and messy black strands off his forehead.

Sometimes you will catch a word, sometimes you won’t. You will almost wish you didn’t the times you do. Yet you feel sworn to make sense of every mumble, a pervasive, unbreakable, urge. You’re sworn to it.

That’s how the rest of the day goes. He’s never lucid enough to eat; only enough to mumble when he’s freezing, or when he’s burning.

After dusk has bled into the sunset, and night has set in, you sit and watch over Levi religiously. To be fair, you don’t have anything “better to do”, but you hardly ate. If he knew, he’d be in your ear grumbling or otherwise dragging you by it to the kitchen, but does it matter, when he can’t know?

No, you decided, with some fucked-up determination. You want him to bitch at you when he wakes up. Not shivering trapped in an uneasy sleep.

When it gets late, you, arduously but carefully, do what you can for his knee.. He moves too much.

You wipe his face and neck of sweat, and lay a fresh, ice-cold and wet folded washcloth on his forehead. The fever is slowly getting worse.

You dote on him, carding back his bangs, and murmuring and repeating all manners of comfort you can think of. It’s becoming obvious when he’s having a nightmare.

…Finally, as Falco suggested, you’ve kept him hydrated; fever reducers every few hours. 

All that's left to do then, is sleep. This realization makes you nauseous with worry.

Nonetheless, you squirm under the covers on your side, close beside him with your face tucked in his shoulder. You take a slow, deep breath. 

It’s so discomforting; Levi can’t fall asleep flat on his back, ever, and yet…

Your head shoots off his chest before you’ve registered you even woke up—gasping, and a guttural cry from below. It’s pitch black, too dark to see.

That explodes him into motion. He repels you backwards as you grapple for his shoulders, and like fists closed around your throat, as he resists your every attempt to stop him hurting himself, as he whimpers tiredly, as his bawling stabs the most tender place inside you—you feel sick.

“Levi—! Stop. Levi listen to me!”

You’re louder than him, but nothing—his eyes won't open—and your stomach swoops just then as he almost succeeds in jabbing his knee in your stomach, an extra hard punch combined with the brace. That cry is a sob of nothing but pain.

Enough. Finally you bite the bullet, you drop your full weight down on top of him, if it means he’ll finally stop. 

At first, you’re as steady as a boat on rough waters. A huff of relief slips out when his writhing grows sluggish, quickly.

He squirms mildly under you, breathing still stubbornly labored. “Get… off me.”

He tries to raise his arms from his sides, but can’t. 

“I’ll, fuckin’ kill you.”

You viciously shake your head. “It’s just a dream.”

Are you telling only him that?

“S’ get off, you can’t, s’nough hurts ‘er.”

“L-Lee…”

You strain to make him out, as he sobs weakly. “Leave me alone already...”

His name escapes you over again like a prayer in the heat of a battle. Your determination crumbles right into dust; you fall beside him and sit up, unsure of what to do besides take his hand. You can’t bring yourself to switch on the lamp.

“It’s going to be okay.” You squeeze.

He whimpers. “…Please.”

You can’t open your foolish mouth and tell him or yourself that it’s just a dream anymore.

Falco was more correct than you gave him credit for.

Falco also warned you that it would get worse before it got better.

With the hours that keep passing—which have stretched out into two days so far—he more and more mutters in his sleep, other times under his breath, but most times he’s incoherent.

But, it’s all come to fall under one topic. 

And just like that first night, it doesn’t quite make sense, but it doesn’t have to. 

You don’t want to think about it; you just want to take care of him. Your anxiety is constant, and sharp. If only he’d wake up; you talk to him as if he’s awake—but to no response whatsoever, like you don’t even exist.

Moments you’re forced to leave him are the worst—for you and for him. Most times when you come back, the washcloth meant to rest on his forehead has drooped and sagged beside his temple.

At any rate, the difference between fever and tears has gotten hard to tell.

You just can’t stop from shaking, and your throat is tight, but Falco remains adamant that the flu is what he said it is. 

A lamp is still glowing on your side in the late night. The air is cool, and it’s quiet, but a rare moment of “peace” makes the sounds of your shared breaths obnoxious.

Your heavy eyes sting; despite that, when they creep closed you feel yourself fading in seconds, with Levi’s head tucked under your chin, upon your chest. Seemingly, any covers are too stifling for him at the moment; pressed against your collarbones, you feel his forehead is hot again. 

You cradle gently the nape of his neck, idly rubbing the knot of bone at the base of his jaw. As if you’re doing anything to protect him from anything…

He mumbles, slurring, “Y’have t’come back…”

You’re not dizzy with the shock or the horror, but it’s worse almost, to be confronted with the full magnitude of a rueless, unceasing pain that is just as lonely in its magnitude as it is devastating.

You rub his back as he buries his face in your neck, sobbing like it takes all his energy to do so. “I’ll be faster.”

“I don’ know where t’go, what do I do now?” he babbles over your soft hushes. “Wait, next time I’ll get it right...”

“It’s okay, love, it’s okay.”

“I don’ know why I even…” 

Trailing off, he starts to whimper, and can’t go on. 

He doesn’t stop, it doesn’t, not for a second while—all you can do—is hold and console him even though he may not know it.

Until he exhausts himself. Drifts. into a light sleep.

For it to happen all over again. Seeping into his sleep like crude oil, the next stress-induced terror to force his breathing shaky, labored.

"...Need," he whimpers, the first word you’ve made out in a while.

Your stomach swoops, the thought that you can do anything to help directly. "What do you need, sweetheart?"

"Don't sell it. Don't sell it, I need it."

You deflate, jaw wobbling. "Sh, sh, it's okay,” you soothe. You reach for the tray on the bedside behind you, and, using the cold cloth, you dab the sweat from his blushing temple and neck.

"S'gonna take away from m...me." He starts to pant, continuing to mumble, crying, a complete melting away. Lamenting, abject.

"Shh... Shh..."

His arm loosely draped around your waist—which you’d put there—tightens its hold, but in drifting bursts, like he keeps slipping.

“Please.”

You inhale sharply. "Please?"

"Don'. Leave me."

"I won't leave," you swiftly promise. "I won't leave, I won’t.”

He cries in his sleep for so many names that aren’t alive anymore.

Don’t go. Don’t go.

Wake up, Momma.

Wait... Just wait.

That wasn’t the worst point. Not even hunched, taken-over by so much stress and pain until he gagged was the worst point. None of what he had already said combined could amount to the last night.

You snap awake on your stomach at some blurry unknown instance, acutely aware you’ve slept like shit.

Did you even, only blink?—No. The most faintest shade of grey weakly gives your bedroom the suggestion of texture and shadow, but—your arms are empty. You reach over blindly, but the side where Levi should lay is empty and cold.

A pit bursts open in your stomach, filled with bright panic. 

You lurch up and shove off the covers, breathing hard. 

Where could he be??

If he was feeling better, then you would've woken up a while ago, because he would've told you. Not just... 

He can’t be far.

You shiver. 

On your feet, you cross the room in a few strides, and frown as you pull open the bedroom door. It's never left closed at night this time of year; it gets about ten degrees colder without the insulation. (But the chill pressing to the bottoms of your feet, you barely even noticed.)

"Levi!?"

The switch on the wall is right within reach, which lights up the hall. You look right and almost jump back; you might’ve tripped over him if you hadn’t looked first.

He sits hugging his legs—tightly folded against his chest, Levi, why?—there right outside the white doorframe. Shivering, glossy face red with fever, and most certainly in agony by now with all the abuse done to his knee, you’re not sure if he even notices you. Not from this angle.

You fall down on your knees. “Levi? Look, I’m here. Talk to me, please, okay?”

His bloodshot eyes are cracked open, staring ahead, but seemingly seeing nothing. Between the tears, you can’t tell if this is good or bad. 

"Levi..." You take his shoulder in an attempt to nudge his attention towards you. “Look at me. Please.”

He was already tense. His head turns, mostly looking at you sideways—emphasis on his pale eye—but looking at you nonetheless. Good.

"What's wrong?"

His brow knits together.

“C’mere.” You lean forward and card his damp bangs back to feel his forehead. The whole time, he just looks at you passively.

“Better... But this cold won’t help in the end. Medicine is in the bedroom, so...”

You huff very softly to yourself. “…You need more bedrest. I don’t know why you even came out here. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

He blinks.

“Let’s go back to bed,” you insist then, under your breath. 

Some clarity crosses his dark eyes, his voice then a cracked brittle rasp.  “…Not the bed.” 

His gaze sort of drifts away from you. 

You thought he was through with that habit. Confused, you ask, “Why not?”

“It’s ruined. It was always disgusting, but… this is worse.”

“I’ll change the sheets then. I know, it’s not—”

“You can’t do anything,” he says, tucking his chin to his chest, intent eyes focused somewhere down. “Corpse smell doesn’t come outta anything, it just smells worse the longer you leave it. It gets colder n’ heavier, then the smell, it attracts bugs. There’s a fluid,” he says quietly. Casually. “And then it shrinks. Getting eaten’s all the same. But I think that way’s worse.”

What can you even say to that?

“I won’t do th-at to you…” His brow furrows sharply, gripping his sleeves—you see now—with bright white knuckles. Even sitting up, he’s almost curled up into a ball.

You talk quickly, before the full gravity of all this can reach you. 

“You won’t do anything,” you insist. “How about the sofa? Would the sofa be okay?”

“I can’ go to sleep,” he hisses. “I won’t wake up.”

“That’s not true. Why do you even say that??"

"I'm sick."

"Yeah, but it’s not bad-sick!”

You regret the moment you raise your voice. That almost innocent passivity he exuded is crushed by complete and utter detachment. 

“…Denial doesn't help. Don’t be stupid. Don't even—shouldn’ touch me. It’ll end worse fer you.”

You tremble minutely, stewing in silence while in panicked, rapid-fire fashion, you rifle through explanations. He sounds so serious. And he's nothing but.

You know that Levi’s mother died from sickness. He’s called out for her, a lot.

In nightmares… A nightmare?

You guess that’s where it all started for him, as he always slips into a warm voice and delicate eyes those rare moments he does tell you about her. Being sick then, being sick with you here… It all clicks into place.

Okay. Fuck…

The real monster of it all is the fever—making him unglued like this.

You rub the bridge of your nose, swallowing thickly. Okay. 

A firm calm settles over you; for once, Levi is scared. That means you won’t be.

“Levi…” you console.

You reach out to his shoulder, only to flinch when he flinches before a push knocks into your chest. It sends you falling into your backside with an injured grunt.

Instantly, intrinsically, you know it’s going to bruise; all his strength, one hand.

Your eyes pop open to his own—uncannily—wide with his lips twisting into a grimace. 

Putting his eyes ahead again, he sucks in a choked breath and slumps. “Sorry, I thought you were… Sorry.” He gasps. “I’m sorry.”

You get back up on your knees, slowly, and settle down beside him without hesitation. You’re more frantic than ever to close this icy chasm-like space.

“It’s okay.”

He shakes his head as sharp and as fast as his rattling breaths. “I thought you were him. I don’t get it… it just kept hap-happening… Fucking…”

You see him still searching for the words to explain.

“It’s okay. It’s all okay.” 

The warmth in your voice is genuine. When it shakes, you just hate that he’s suffering with nothing you can do to lift it all away, like blood by steam. 

He grips his hair, having made himself as small as possible again. “I’m—s-sorry.”

“Shh…”

Slowly until now, you’ve been leaning in, and now you firmly rest your hand on his back, rubbing in long, consoling motions. This seems to help.

You stay like this while his breathing shudders through tears. It’ll only hurt you both to bring force into it again; either way, any way, it’s not his fault. You don’t know what he meant… but why would it be the man who came and chose to look after him?

“Sorry…”

Everything you see if one ruddy cheek and his temple glistens with either tears or sweat, and his eyes look painful.

“Look at me. Baby.”

An order seems familiar. He does.

“You trust me, don’t you?”

He understands slowly, but you know the answer. After a time, he blinks, and nods.

“Stay still, please.” You kiss his temple. 

“…Sure.”

One arm around his back, the other scooped under his knees, you lift him up into your arms with not too much difficulty. He goes tense, but leans into your chest nonetheless.

“It’s going to be okay,” you murmur as you walk. You want desperately to ask about his leg, but this feels too fragile, like if you bring up physical pain then the whims of the fever will take him back over. 

He’s trembling all over, it seems, before you lay him back down in bed, and once you do he clutches a bit of your blouse at the collar with a grip that confirms for you that he’s not letting go. You sit beside him with his waist pushed against the side of your thigh.

“I’m sorry, it’s all my fault,” he croaks out softly, staring at your sleeve which he now grips. “I wasn’t fast ‘nuff. I hesitated n’ it got ‘em killed for nothing after made the same mistake… Sorry i-was my damn pride…”

You let him talk, rather mumble. When there’s a lull, you rest your palms on his hot cheeks. Better than the last time you felt them. His eyes instantly flutter in relief.

It’s surprisingly easy to give him water, then the fever reducer. Meanwhile, he’s clearly fighting the weight of exhaustion pressing down on his eyelids.

“Don’t make me sleep…”

“I’m not. I’ll just stay by your side. Then”—you cup his cheek—“I’ll do it again.”

He hardly grunts, eyes closing.

You won’t sleep, and you can’t sleep (if there’s even a difference). In fact, you’ll bring in one of the kitchen chairs and sit by him with a novel; you’ll read by candlelight, with a handkerchief hanging like a tarp from the lampshade so maybe he can rest easy.

Being that the flu is a release of stress… He’s getting better. He’s getting better.

Hour-by-hour, more or less (but mostly less), you snap awake at the tiniest stirring from your husband beside you. Maybe mumbling a ghostly snatch of a word; mostly sniffling. It takes you half an hour to drift off again.

This unforgiving cycle obnoxiously persists until morning sunlight poking your sleeping mind wakes you. Suddenly, again. You see him.

It’s a mystery, how long, but Levi is gazing at you softly with bloodshot, but, maybe aware eye. You feel better when he glances away, like every time—if, not when—you catch him staring. Your legs are tangled slightly, his slow breaths brush your cheek.

"Baby," you murmur. "You’re awake?”

He looks annoyed. “No, I’m sleeping with my eyes open.”

“How do you feel? Be honest," you quickly add. You drape your arm around his waist.

He frowns at your tone. "...Like my head got hit with a sledgehammer.”

You say nothing.

His voice gets softer and gentler. “I don’t remember… And you look like shit. What happened?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“…So I’m going to be wrong,” he surmises, looking away. “I slept in too late.” 

He goes to rub his eye, and sniffs. The distress marring his expression grows. 

“It’s been a couple days, but it’s alright,” you say. You’re quick to explain as the realization seems to come over Levi that he hasn’t had a proper bath in that length of time.

Though, it’s hard to explain. It’s even harder to wrap your mind around the fact that he doesn’t remember how he’d cried, and—insinuated, what he did. What horrors he spoke of. 

You finish. Behind a thinly-veiled straight face, he stares into your eyes with the quiet accusation that you haven’t told the whole story. 

“It… was… bad,” you bear to admit. “That’s why I look like shit.”

The self-loathing that falls over his expression like a deathly shroud is instant. He looks away, glaring at nothing, but before he can think anything, you squirm much closer, tighten your hold, and kiss his chin.

“It’s not your fault. And if I had to, I’d do it all over again. So don’t start.”

He watches you for a beat, as if searching for some exaggeration, but soon looks resigned to the truth in your vow. At this long-awaited point in your lives, with some legwork to say the least, you’re relieved to know you’ve finally got it beaten into his head that you love him, whether he agrees or not.

You watch him swallow, and many emotions cross his eyes as he mulls your words over. 

“I don’t like that it’s just a flash for me,” he resolves.

“I know. But we can… talk about it?”

Honestly you’re shocked the words left your mouth. Levi also stares at you like you just spoke a foreign language. It’s pathetic, as he would say, sure, but—people like you and him don’t just talk about things like that which fueled those nightmares of his.

He looks away, considering. Finally, he brings hand up to yours, nestled deep under the covers. Your fingers clasp gently, foreheads brushing. His silvery blue eyes calmly watch yours. That’s his answer.

It’s so different, and not so comfortable right now, but you believe, now, that’s okay.

Levi masterlist | main masterlist

[milo-manheim-luver]

Lips of An Angel- Drew Starkey x Fem!Reader

summary: based on the song Lips Of An Angel by Hinder. (take a listen! i recommend it!!) Y/N drunkenly calls up her ex boyfriend drew, to confess her love she still has for him and all her regrets from their past relationship.

warnings: odessa…., alcohol consumption, emotional cheating (if you even call it that), angst, a tad of fluff if you squint, slight mentions of physical/mental/emotional abuse (not from drew), lmk if i forgot anything bc i’m sure i did lol.

a/n: for starters…. i’ve been waiting to write this one and i was gonna do it for rafe first but it just felt more right to do drew lol. also please don’t come at me for the way i put odessa in this. (personal opinion: i don’t think they’re really a thing irl but whatever). for the sake of this fic i had to put her in it to work as she’s the only prominent female in his life besides his sisters so bare with me please. (personally not a fan of her for my own reasons and things i’ve read) hope you all enjoy this one!

revised and edited by the one and only @slut4drudy ilyyyyy

as drew had just put the last of the champagne glasses into the sink from his and odessa’s small get together with friends, he could hear his phone ringing that all too familiar ringtone… the ringtone he had set for only her. he thought to himself… how strange it’d be for her to call him at such an absurd hour after not talking to one another in two years.

him and Y/N had began to date their senior year of college at western carolina university, and just like every college couple, they eventually broke it off a few years later. it had been a mutual agreement when he got cast on netflix’s show, outer banks, as she didn’t want to hold him back any longer from achieving all the goals she knew he would. the two however kept in contact regularly until none at all just two years ago when she’d started dating her now boyfriend maverick. and from what Y/N seen drew had also moved on… to his costar odessa.

“hey, uh drew your phone is ringing. do you want me to get it?” odessa asked drew as he finished washing the champagne flutes, drying his hands hurriedly with the towel next to the sink.

“uh, nah, um i’ll go answer it. it might be my mom. you know her and not being able to sleep and missing her kids. i’m just gonna go in the reading room and take the call. i’ll be back out in twenty. sound good?” he asked warily.

“yeah yeah take your time. tell her i said hi for me” she smiled as his towering figure walked past her frame and into the living room, picking his phone up. his large thumb moved nimbly against his phones screen to answer the call from Y/N as he entered the reading room, plopping on the couch.

“h-honey, why you callin me so late? it’s kinda hard to talk right now” he stuttered out her pet name he hadn’t called her in years. all he received in return were her soft sobs from the other line. those little soft sobs shattered his heart. the last time he’d heard them was because of him. because he had spoke the idea of maybe they should break up. because he didn’t know if he could do the long distance relationship, and Y/N had just agreed. no hesitation because she wanted whatever would make him happy. and if that meant breaking up with her and breaking her heart, then so be it. she wanted what was best for him because she loved him.

“honey, why are you crying? is everything okay?” drew whispered out through the phone to his broken ex in an uneasy tone, as his jaw clenched. he hated the idea of her being sad. he always had.

“w-why are you whispering?” she sighed as more tears streamed down her face.

drew bit his lip, exhaling a huff of hot air he hadn’t known he was holding before speaking, “i gotta whisper because i can’t be too loud.”

“why? i-im sorry. i shouldn’t have called. this was so fucking stupid” Y/N slurred out into her end of the phone, catching drew’s attention.

“oh, well, my girls in the next room” he spoke as he paused to let her speak.

“like i-i said… this was st-stupid of me” she slurred out again before continuing, “you’re moved on. i get it”

“honey, Y/N, it’s not like that. i swear. s-shes not even my girlfriend” he tried to elaborate before she cut him off.

“then why’d you call her your girl?”she challenged.

“baby, you’re drunk. i can tell by the way you’re slurring your words. what’s wrong? why’d you call?” drew tried to deflect the question and ask the more important questions; why she’d called and why she’d been crying.

“answer my questions first please” she hiccuped through her phone and into his ear.

“we haven’t put a label on it. in all seriousness i don’t even know what i want. i don’t even think she knows what she wants. it’s more of a friends with benefits kind of deal” he sighed out as his left index finger and thumb pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed once more, contemplating to speak what he’d been thinking for awhile now. “but honey, if i’m being serious, sometimes i wish she was you”

“i wish i was her too” Y/N whimpered out as she took a gulp of the vodka from the bottle she’d been coddling in her arms, sitting on the bathroom floor, hiding from maverick.

“i guess we never really moved on… did we?” he chuckled out, causing Y/N to smile at the sweet sound of his chuckle. it was bliss to her ears. she’d missed that sound so much in the last two years.

“now answer my question honey, what’s wrong? why’re you calling so later? isn’t it like after 1am there back home in charlotte. right?” he asked Y/N in a concerned tone, face scrunching up in worry as well, though she couldn’t see it.

“u-um. drew it doesn’t matter. forget i called you. okay?” Y/N tried to deflect his concerning questions he’d been shooting her way since the call had started.

“Y/N, honey. i’m not hanging up until you tell me what’s got you so bent out of shape that you’re drunk off your ass, drunk calling me at 1 am your time all while sobbing. i just won’t” he huffed out, losing his patience in the girl on the other line.

“joseph” she began to slur, sternly, “i said it doesn’t matter. go back to your girl or whatever the fuck she is to you” she hiccuped yet again.

“fuck, i cant believe i’m about to say this right now, but it’s really good to hear your voice sayin’ my name. it sounds so sweet” drew smiled to himself as he softly giggled. maybe it was from the champagne he’d had earlier or maybe it was the blissfulness from just hearing Y/N oh so sweet voice saying his name again.

“i love you” Y/N slurred out once more as she started to cry again. “i’ve never stopped” she continued. “i thought i could and would move on but i cant and it hurts me that we aren’t a thing anymore” she continued to weep.

“honey don’t say that. please” he frowned as his heart cracked yet again over his ex girlfriend and her words. more like over her admittance of missing him so much still even after all these years.

“why not, drew? it’s the truth” she sniffled as she wiped her runny nose with the sleeve of his old college sweatshirt she’d still kept after all these year even after their breakup. she picked the bottle of vodka back up and took another swig of it.

“those words…. fuck. they’re coming from the lips of an angel baby. and hearing those words, it’s makes me so fucking weak. because as much as i want to be with you… i cant” he sighed as a single tear streamed down his stubbled cheek, not even bothering to wipe it away. he soon continued, “i never want to say goodbye, honey. and it’s so fucking hard to admit that. but, girl, you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel” he dryly chuckled as the memories of their kisses ran through his brain. it still felt so real. the longing to be near her was still there. and the butterflies. and the desire to make her happy. and the want to make her feel safe and loved.

“drew, you’re the one who just said you guys aren’t even a thing so why would you even say that?” Y/N croaked out as she wiped more of her tears away.

“it’s complicated honey. i feel obligated to be faithful even if her and i aren’t really officially a thing. now please for the love of god, baby, why are you crying? what’s wrong? what happened?” drew exerted his concern as his eyebrows scrunched together in worry.

“i- uh, drew you cant do anything about it, so it doesn’t matter” she whimpered in a whisper, reaching for the bathroom door knob to make sure it was in fact locked. she squeezed her eyes shut as soon as she heard mavericks yells from their kitchen.

“you know, it’s funny that you called me tonight, Y/N/N, because we had some friends over and the whole time i was just thinking of you and how you’ve been. i haven’t heard from you in two years, hunny” drew whispered, his voice strained from the way his heart clenched in pain at the lack of communication between the two when they had both promised to keep in contact.

“maybe that’s why i dream of you. you know what they say, if you dream of someone that means they’re thinking of you. do you dream of me too?” she spoke shakily, as her jaw began to quiver, biting back yet another sob.

“what about maverick? and yes i’ve dreamt of you too, love. i do often” he confessed as he thought back to his dream he had of her from the other night. the two of them had gone on a picnic in the mountains back in their home state of north carolina, enjoying the scenery and all it had to offer, that was until he was awoken by odessa’s loud alarm blaring throughout his bedroom. drew’s lips parted once more as he spoke again, “and does he know you’re talking to me? will it start a fight?”

“th-that’s why i-i uh called. he… uh he got mad again and s-started to throw some things around the kitchen. h-he said some things which isn’t out of the ordinary with him” her frail voice cracked as she finally admitted to him why she had called him so late in the first place. tears once again started pouring out of her once bright eyes which have now been filled with void. “he drinks… a lot. and when he does… he gets kinda aggressive. he will do things to me and say horrible things as well. i-i called you tonight because i’m drunk and i miss you and i know you’d never do this shit to me and because you listen. so well. you always have” she began to cry again for what felt like the twelfth time that night.

“honey, what are you talking about? has he hit you? do you have a place to go?” drew shot up at the mention of mavericks behavior coming from Y/N. he was on high alert and wanted nothing more than to protect her at that instant.

“i shouldn’t have even called. does odessa even know you’re on the phone with me? i don’t want her to get mad at you. i shouldn’t have even called” Y/N stumbled over her words due to the excessive amounts of alcohol she’d been drinking and maybe even a mix of anxiety.

“no, i don’t think she has a clue. i told her it was probably my mom, but, i knew it was you. i still have your number saved to my phone… with your ringtone too. couldn’t get myself to delete it, even after all these years” he confessed as he ran a hand through his shaggy hair. he bit his lip in frustration before speaking sternly this time around, “Y/N, honey, tell me…. has he fucking hit you?”

“y-yes. but he didn’t mean to” she tried to excuse her boyfriends actions, though deep down she knew it was a lie. “and yeah if i have to i can go to my brothers but i don’t need anyone’s fucking help or pity” she blurted a little loud.

“fuck, Y/N” he sighed as fresh tears broke his waterline of his azul eyes, his jaw clenched tight.

“it’s okay, drew, i promise. i’m not your problem anymore. i haven’t been for four years now.” she expressed as she drank the last bit of the vodka that was left in the bottle.

“Y/N can you do one thing for m-“ drew was cut off by a soft knock on the reading rooms door, notifying him that someone ,odessa, was on the other side.

“hey, uh you almost done? it’s getting late and i wanna go to bed” she complained to drew as he’d pulled his phone away from his attentive ears.

“u-uh yeah. let me tell my mom goodnight real quick” he stuttered nervously, worried she’d been ease dropping on part of the private conversation he’d been having on the phone with Y/N. and with that odessa nodded her head as she left the room, shutting the door as she went.

“what is it that you want me to promise you?” Y/N sniffled.

“call me if it gets bad again. i’ll fly out there immediately”

“i promise.”

“i never wanna say goodbye” he admitted to her after her promise.

“i don’t either, but you have to” she spoke flatly as she’d just heard Odessa moments before. she opened her mouth, speaking one last line, “i love you drew”

“i-i love you too honey” drew spoke the words he’d been bottling up since the day the two broke up, as fresh tears streamed down his stubbled cheeks. during the moment he spoke those words all he could hear were mavericks yells and bangs onto the bathroom door through his phone, before the call ended all together.

taglist: @slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @maybankslover

[sh1-n0bu]

Hello! Hope you are having a good day/evening.

I saw that your requests are open so i wanted to see if i could request, a headcanon(or one shot what ever you think would be better for the idea) + angst for scara, childe and diluc [add any character you have ideas pls :) ].

I was thinking of how would they react if reader just disapeard for a period of time, and they maybe though reader was dead. Until they came back (or they saw them somewhere like in other city after long time). [idk why reader decapered-] . I wanted to know if they would let reader in or ignore them for the rest of times.

(im sorry for making this so long- if you dont understand the idea or dont want to make it i complitly understand.)

✿ 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 ✿

characters: scaramouche, childe and diluc x nb!reader

warnings: angst (me likey), reverse comfort, verbal fighting, takes place after scaramouche’s defeat, mentions of blood and injury (not too graphic), reader disappears for some time but dw nothing bad happens

notes: it’s alright hun, i understand dw too much abt anything! also you can def tell who’s my favorite lmao

since his loss as the false god of sumeru, the irmunsul incident, his mentality was slowly getting better

slowly starting to heal from all his trauma, loss, betrayals and suffering in the hands of the second fatui harbinger

but that doesn’t mean some bad habits just won’t immediately disappear

you and wanderer’s relationship has been going well. silly little dates here and there, holding hands and he was even slowly starting to open up to you about his past as well!

however lately you’ve been going out meeting someone named “kaveh” a lot lately. not really having time to explain to your lover that kaveh was your work partner and that you two had a deadline coming soon of an expensive and famous museum

and that was all it took for wanderer to start doubting the relationship between you two

did you truly love him like all the time you said you do? was it a lie? who was this kaveh anyways? perhaps this was a bad idea. maybe he never should’ve took nahida’s suggestion and confessed to you. maybe it was all better if he were to just push you away like he always have with people before

after 2 weeks of hard work with barely no sleep, full meal or even being able to see your loving boyfriend again, the architecture of the museum was finally finished and you and your best friend can finally catch some well deserved break

stepping into your shared little cottage at 2 in the morning, you yawned walking into your shared bedroom with your lover, not entirely surprised to see him still wide awake, sitting on your bed seemingly mulling over something

hugging his smaller body and nuzzling into his neck, you sighed in content. finally happy to be able to spend some time with your darling

that was until he stood up suddenly harshly tearing of your hands that was wrapped around his middle

“darling? what’s wrong?”

“don’t you dare ask me what’s wrong when you KNOW what the answer is. what finally got tired of that kaveh guy you’ve been seeing? finally got tired of him so now you come crawling back to me?!”

“… honey i don’t understand what you mean. i think you got it all wrong”

“don’t you dare call me those names! i knew you were a liar and a manipulator. always going around wearing that sickeningly sweet smile as if nothing’s wrong! you’re no better than him. no in fact, you’re worse!”

the fight escalated from there. at first you tried to calm him down and explain to him about everything but you were just too tired, too exhausted, too lonely

soon enough wanderer and you were just shouting at each other. calling each other names, jabbing at traumas, stabbing old wounds

the breaking point for you was when he shouted one thing you wish you would never hear coming from someone so dear to you

“I WISH YOU NEVER EXISTED AT ALL!”

deafening silence

no one moved, no one spoke, just silently staring into each other’s faces until you grimaced

he immediately regretted it. but he won’t show it because his pride is always too much. always too high. always above everyone. always destroying any human contact he sought after

quietly shaking your head, you picked up your coat again before stepping out of the once shared home with your lover, shutting the door gently. you were never one to slam doors after all

he wanted to get out and chase after you. hold your hand, cling to you, begging for forgiveness

but his pride won’t allow it

a few days have passed and he has yet to run into you. you’ve been gone without a single trace of where you went to or who you’re with

it’s as if his words came true…

it has been a week already. no signs of you and wanderer is going to lose his mind

he went to nahida to ask for her help, he asked about you from the traveler and paimon, he even went around asking about the person named kaveh

another day, another failure in finding you

sobbing in his bed, clinging tightly to your pillow he only wished for one thing. he just wanted you back

snapping out of his misery when the front door knob jingled, he nearly tripped over his own legs when jumping out of bed

and there you were, standing on the front door of your shared home, wearing the exact same clothes, facial expressions as the day you left

the short male didn’t care about how he looked, how messy his home was or even much of his pride. throwing himself into your chest, clinging to you like a lifeline, sobbing out apologies after apologies

forgiveness is a hard thing. especially to prideful people like wanderer but he will soon learn to apologize if he keeps practicing make sure to disappear more to teach him a lesson reader-chin👍

it has been some time since the ginger menace has seen his lover. that’s because you have been away on a long time commission on dragonspine. something about multiple frostarm lawachurl going haywire. of course him being himself, immediately offered to go as well if it weren’t for you bonking him on the head with all his piled up harbinger paper work

he knows you’re strong - even though you lack a vision - and he has great faith and earnest trust in you! he truly does! however the gnawing of dark thoughts, worry filled mindless pacing and the creeping presence of nightmares just won’t let him go no matter how much the harbinger throws himself into his piles upon piles of work

it took one utterance of your name to slip past ekaterina’s mouth that snaps him back to life, away from the insecurities and terror looming over him

were you finally back? it took a whole 2 weeks! he can’t wait to see you, hold you in his arms, trail kisses on your scars, to just be in your presence again!

just the simple thought of your face is enough to have him kicking his feet, giggling with sheer and utter joy

but that giggles stopped abruptly when ekaterina showed him a piece of ripped cloth. your cloth. a ripped part of the coat you wear whenever you’re called to dragonspine…

with a bated breath and shaking hands, childe asked “… they’re not here, are they?”

when the fatui gave a hesitant nod, tartaglia bolted out of the northland bank, running straight towards the icy peak - which always stirred warmth within his heart, reminding him of his homeland - now filled with a painful, nerve wracking cold

when he had arrived at the place you mentioned before seeing off, there were blood stains everywhere on the snow

the sight always used to make his eyes widen with excitement but now, with an unshakable fear

“[name]? [name] are you here! honey-bun please answer me!”

digging through all the wreckage, running around all over the place, searching for you, yelling your name. he just needed one little sign. just one little sign, please

and his pleas were answered with a grunt. a pained groan

quickly dashing over to where the sound had come from, he found you under a small wreckage pile of carts and tattered cloths with a hastily wrapped bandage around your bleeding torso

“haha… is it a bad time to say hi, big boy?” shakily laughing and cocking your eyebrow, you shot him a teasing grin

if you weren’t injured he probably would’ve bonked you over the head nicely but for now a nice 24 hours of lecture and scolding sounded better to ajax

it all started when your beloved significant other kept coming back home way past midnight, bruised and bleeding and leaving the next morning before the sun could even crack through the darkness of the night

at first you were worried, then you soon got used to it but patience can only run for so long until it breaks

“WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THINGS FROM MY PERSPECTIVE FOR ONCE DILUC?! YOU ALWAYS COME BACK INJURED, SOMETIMES EVEN ON THE VERGE OF DEATH AND YET YOU STILL LEAVE IN THE MORNING WITHOUT EVEN LETTING YOUR OPEN WOUNDS CLOSE!”

“i’ve been doing this for years [name]. so stop being clingy and let it be! i’m strong enough to handle myself.”

meanwhile elzer and adelinde looked at each other in worry. furrowing rheir brows, biting their lips and anxiously messing with their hands

the manor has never been this loud, ever since the fight between their young master and his brother kaeya of course

the fight started with a simple curt sentences being thrown but now it was slowly losing it’s meanings, turning into a shouting contest. a fight to see who has more pride than the other

“STOP BEING SO DAMN OVERPROTECTIVE! I’M STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE MYSELF AND YOUR WORRYING IS NOT NEEDED!”

that was the final straw for you to leave the manor with a loud slam of the front door

diluc tried to chase after you, realizing his mistake, wanting to apologize sadly the whole shouting re-opened his wounds, causing the young master’s sleeping tunic to get dirtied with blood

since that nasty fight with your dear boyfriend, you’ve been staying at his brother’s place for the time being. kaeya was more than understanding. after all, he too was once cast out by his loved one from his home

it had already been 4 days since the uncrowned king of mondstadt had seen his beloved and things were not going smoothly. he keeps messing up the order’s at the bar, letting fatui or some enemies get out of sight only to be reminded of that with a new wound, spending sleepless hours just tightly clutching at your pillow in your once-shared bed

on the fifth night of your sudden disappearance, diluc has had enough. mentally broken and physically exhausted, he sobbed silently, holding onto your pillow tightly

the red head was too caught up in his mental breakdown, he didn’t even hear your voice calling out his name

jolting violently and swiftly turning back - ready to summon his claymore - only to fall silent once he realizes it’s your hand holding his shoulder, your voice calling him sweet, cheesy nicknames, you standing before him in the flesh

“… darling? is that you…?”

you hated how broken he sounded. how devastated yet relieved he looked. how his voice shook with so mich hesitation and fear

gently cradling his head to rest upon your heart, you shushed his cries and begs of forgiveness

cuddles? …that sounds nice

[goatlottin]

favourite girls

In which you bring your 4 year old daughter to her first football match

genre: fluff

pairing: kylian mbappé x reader

a/n: HIM WITH KIDS ITS JUST. Im in awe everytime hes in a 10ft radius of one. Also i kinda hate this but 💔 i’ve had no ideas lately

The game had just concluded. 3-1 win to PSG with a Kylian brace and he got man of the match. You were so happy for him and couldn’t wait to celebrate alongside him. if you would be able to reach him, that is.

You had made the mistake of bringing your daughter, Ella, with you. Though you knew you had regretted it the second you both left the house.

She was talking throughout the entire match. Asking questions she probably knew the answer to, just so that she can blabber on.

She was undoubtly a daddy’s girl. Despite you finding it adorable, you sometimes found it terribly annoying how much she would hog him. Today, as an example.

He had barely come off the pitch, but she was dragging your hand towards him, just short of yanking off your whole arm. She was so radiant, her father's name and number glistening on her back so proudly. Her tiny pigtails flowing with the wind, the security allowed you both onto the field as soon as he recognized you.

As soon as she was somewhat in his distance, she had let go of your hand completely in order to catch up with him.

It was so beautiful, you had to admit. As he heard her small calls of “dada, dada!” while she tried her very best to catch up with him. He turned his head and his eyes literally lit up. He smiled in awe as she continued her run, crouching down when she was just in reach, and scooping her up. They shared a smile with each other before he threw her up in the air a couple times. her laughs, small, yet filling the stadium.

He then kissed her forehead, before aiming his attention to you only a few steps behind her. She wrapped her hand around his neck securely. He walked towards you in long strides before smiling down at you, then interlocking his lips with yours. A small kiss that put you all in this small little world that made you forget there was even another part of it.

Until Ella interrupted by forcing your forehead back. “My daddy.” She whined as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. She grumpily forced her face away from you. He only laughed and looked at her as he touched her nose. You, on the other hand, weren’t really laughing. Were you jealous of a 4 year old? Well.. it was more complex than that. This was about him defending you, at least that’s what you tried to tell yourself.

“You’re just gonna laugh?” You tilted your head with your arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed. He paused his tickling session, that must’ve began as you went into thought, to look at you.

“What was that, baby?”

You rolled your eyes as you scoffed lightly. “You’ve barely given me any attention since we got here!” You complained passionately.

He tilted his head, wondering whether you were being serious or playing a game with him. He turned to your daughter, still in his arms, one leg on either side of his hips. “Is Mommy joking? She can’t possibly be jealous of you, huh?” He rubbed noses with her as she exclaimed small giggles, twisting her face in laughter.

You got annoyed by his mocking tone, him knowing you were dead serious. “Kylian!”

“Hon, you have to be kidding. She’s four!” He pointed out.

Though he was right, you couldn’t help but feel insecure. Throughout your pregnancy, you often felt inferior when he would come home and skip the questions about you. Rather, ask things such as “how’s the baby?” “the little one still kicking?” It drove you crazy sometimes, weirdly enough.

Kylian could see you train of thought ponder off. You snapped back into where you were, at the stadium, to watch as he carefully set you daughter down, leaving her with a final kiss to her cheek.

He crouched down to her level, before pulling some of her hair behind her ear. “Go find uncle Dembele, sweets.”

She ran off in a hurry to find her father’s friend. His height reappeared as he gained his stance from his position on the ground.

He looked down into your eyes, grabbing both sides of your face. You decided to play stubbornly. Opting for turning your face to the side. He smirked slightly, giving the slightest force to bring you back to the two of you.

“Since I have to make it know, you’re my number one girl, hmm? Do I need to spell it out each word for you?” As with Ella, he put a few strands of loose hair behind your ear. The winds dismay.

You pouted, loving the attention that was currently on you.

“You know that right?” He asked for the final piece of assurance.

You nodded into him, putting your hands into your pocket before going on your tippy toes to reach his face. “I know that.”

He smiled before leaning into the kiss.

“Don’t tell Ella about what I said though. Don’t need another one of my girls’ mad at me.”

[kristlewrites]

“Slow it down, Make it bouncy”

CW: Lactation kink, Sub Zoro, Nicknames (mommy, papa, baby, sweetie),Smut, Family AU, Titty fucking, Oral (m!receiving), mommy kink (jus in case)

PAIRING: Zoro x Blk!FemReader

WC: 1.1K

🫧🗯️: I had so much fun wrting this one omg, im always weak for a flustered man. anyways, tyyy SO MUCH for the support ive been receving on all my fics! it means so much to me. so pls enjoy this and ngl i was falling for reader a lil bit like hold awn. Also going thru some of my previous work I do realize that i need to do a little proof read lmao..i apolgise if theres any errors on this.

MINORS DNI

(bounce)

You and your husband have been terrorized by your little infant, crying, screaming, and throwing tantrums. It was almost impossible to get her to calm down, but when she did it wasn’t for long. When she was asleep you would try your best to quickly tidy up all her toys and her highchair just so you can have some peace of mind. Zoro was also a great help too, when It came to take care of the baby. He would give her bubble baths, feed her, and keep her entertained while you're trying to catch up with some sleep. Even though with all the pain and frustrations you can’t bring yourself to be mad at the situation at all. 

But due to all of that you and Zoro had barely any time to even sleep in the same bed?!? As you were busy taking care of the baby, Zoro was also preoccupied with work. You guys had no time at all for each other! So you come up with a brilliant idea, you drop off your little baby girl at your parents house for the weekend, and clean up the house. You take a nice steamy shower and put on your most seductive lingerie you own and waited.

Alerted by the sounds of the keys clicking, you stay in the bedroom awaiting your husband.

Leisurely, Zoro twists the bedroom door knob flinching at the provocative sight. You laying in bed, in a too tight lingerie laying down. You get up immediately and greet your husband. “Hey baby, how was work?” you ask, giving him a fat kiss on his cheek.

“Uh It was fine” He says clearly startled by your appearance. “Where's Kamora?” He asks scanning the room. 

“I dropped her off at my parents, and trust me they are elated to see their granddaughter” You reply tapping him on his chest.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to have some us time, we've barely had any time for the both of us, alone.” You pout “Plus I wanna treat you, since you've been working so hard lately” you say trailing you acrylic down his chest. “What do you say papa?” 

Zoro positioned on the edge of your bed with you on your knees. You drag both his pants and his boxers down, and you are met with his throbbing dick. Marveling at it in all its glory you reach for the base and spit on it using it as  a makeshift lubricant. Swiftly you start stroking in a vertical motion going up and down on his large cock. You can hear Zoro moan above, “You like it like this?, honey” you whisper but just loud enough that Zoro can hear. Nodding his head you hear him let out a small whimper “Yeaah let it all out for mama” You grin, with one hand still stroking, you bring your breast wrapping them around his dick.

      Bouncing up and down you envelop his dick within your large titties, going nice and slow. Using your hands you usher up your tits, swallowing up his poor penis. You feel it twitching, “Baby are you gonna cum?” You tease, pecking his tip. “It’s okay, cum all over mamas titties” and as if it was on command zoro came all over your chest. “It felt good didn’t it?” You ask, letting out a small giggle..

’Mhmm’ Zoro moaned.

Kissing his cock, you go down slowly leaving no area untouched and leaving salvia everywhere. Licking upwards you insert his tip between your lips. Gradually you admit his whole cock into your mouth. At a faster pace you start rocking back and forth, wrapping your warm tongue around his dick, taking it in so sloppily. Using your hands you enfold the rest of his fat cock and twist around in a fluid motion.You continue this for another thirty seconds until you feel zoro's dick tremor in your mouth. With no warning, you feel zoro's warm sticky cum lodges in your throat. Releasing his cock with a smooth ‘pop’ sound you smile, “Oh my god baby, you are so sensitive. Have you missed me?” You muse grinning upwards looking at your husband's flustered face.

“yes” Zoro shyly replies

“You are so cute papa” you marvel while rising up towards his face, leaning towards his lips and kissing him. He then opens his mouth and enters , bit by bit your tongue enters and works its way onto his. You push him down carefully so that now you are still on top of him. Still kissing, you bite down on his bottom lip and he lets out a small whimper.

You crawl down, now onto his pelvis region, you sensually remove your lingerie displaying your leaking cunt. You climb onto his dick, letting the slick from your pussy help ease it in. You gasp from sensation, continuing to position yourself upon his dick. You grab Zoro's still hands and situate them on your hips. “Cmon baby you can't expect me to take all this by myself” you pout a lil teasing zoro. Hearing your pleas he strengthens his grip on your hips and assists down his dick. 

“Ah” you cry out, feeling his dick all up in your vagina. Firmly you press your hands against his abdomen using it as support and start bouncing. You start going up and slowly, but once you get more comfortable you start going in a faster motion. Adjusting into smooth tempo, your ass smacking against his pelvis noises filling up the room, you whine from the movement. Feeling his dick sliding up and down your cunt. Wailing from how good it feels to be so full. Mesmerized, zoro studies your breasts as they follow the rhythm of your bounce. Guiding his fingers to your nipples, squeezing them. Milk spurts out.

“Mmm” You wail “You can't do that, it's for kamora sweetie” You say gasping, exhausted. Your legs are sore from the endless bouncing. Your hands still placed on his stomach, you pick up the pace, going faster. You feel Zoro squirming underneath you. “Cum in me, i want another one please.” You plead, leading one of your fingers towards your tummy where his dick bulge is displayed. This drives him crazy and he shoots it up your pussy, painting your walls white. Your orgasm comes flooding down just right after. “Agh” you squeal out, collapsing down on Zoro's chest.

“Not too much, what about kamora?” you whine, gently tapping the side of zoro's face. Latched onto your right nipple draining all you have. You guys are laying down under yalls sheets, zoro as the little spoon indulging himself into your boobs.

“But it's so sweet mommy” Zoro sulks, leaving a small saliva trail on your titty.

“Well when you say it like that, only a little bit more ok?”

Zoro nods, and resumes sucking. Whilst you comb your hot pink acrylics through his short stubby minty hair

[jackdelroys]

hihi!!! i’d like to request either surprise or seductive for jack delroy or murdoc please, take your pic!! (honestly ive been in a slump with my own dd fics and your prompts have been a joy to read, ty for the lovely content!! 💕)

hi!! ty for the request 🖤 im very glad to hear people are enjoying! i decided to go with murdoc for this one, because as of late hes taken over my brain entirely : (

[ surprise ] a sudden kiss to catch the partner off guard

YOU always kept the bedroom door locked at night.

nestled deep in the covers of your bed, you were already drifting off by the time the darkened figure slipped through the open window -- that was a precaution you'd forgotten to take this particularly warm evening.

you didn't hear the soft thud of boots on the carpet, nor the distress of leather as he flexed his knuckles once, twice, hand gripped tight around the handle of a sharpened blade. he brushed back his hair, it was a long journey to get here. but he'd made it.

it wasn't until he reached the far end of your bed, eyes trailed on your sleeping figure did he even remember to breathe. once in, deep, then out, exhaling the sting of exhaustion with it.

he's on you before you can even wake.

you panic at first, until you recognize the familiar scent of lavender detergent and, much more prominently, gunpowder. you barely whisper his name before he silences you with a feverish kiss, forcing his knee between your legs and pressing his weight against you. he swallows the dazed groan you let out and trails his tongue over your lip, nipping at it. he drinks in the way you shudder underneath his body with a wicked, self-satisfied grin and dark eyes grow wide in intrigue as you squirm under him. he pulls away and allows his coat to drop to the floor, followed quickly by the thick sweater he's wearing underneath, and the gloves that get in his way of removing it.

"anyone could have come through that window," he breathes, mouth still working its way down your neck, hands brushing the ragged shirt you'd worn to bed up, just enough for his fingers to trace your sides, it was a figure he'd committed to memory already, but old habits surely die hard. it was one of his favorite pastimes.

"you're lucky it was me."

"lucky?" you choke out, "you fucking scared me. and then you --" you're cut off again by his lips on yours, one hand tugging gently at your hair, tilting your neck just up enough for him to return to it.

"-- and then you do this."

he pulls away suddenly.

"i can stop, if you'd like, doll."

"god, no, don't."

that shit-eating smile is back on his face, and then it's gone, buried in your skin again. your fingers reach up to weave into his hair, pulling harshly as you feel his teeth sink into the flesh just above your collarbone.

"shit --"

"so sorry, doll. can't help it."

you hiss his name, drawing his attention once more. his head falls slightly to the left as he hovers over you.

"i love you, but i was sleeping, murdoc. i'm tired."

with an inconvenienced roll of his eyes, he's also rolled off of you, and instead into the empty space of his pillow next to yours. his arms stay wrapped around you though, and his larger figure curls in on yours, pressing you close to his chest. you wonder if he's ever really comfortable like that, or if he's just so used to sleeping that way that he can't otherwise while he's home. he's still trailing his hands across your torso, just as he always does, almost as though he was curious, eager to study each and very part of you. and perhaps he was. this idea of permanence was all very new to him too, after all.

you fascinated him. it's why he kept coming back, over and over. it's why he breathes against you and kisses your head once more, and it's why he waits for you to fall asleep again before closing his eyes himself. he looks beyond you, to the now-locked window. he can feel your pulse in your chest as you resign to slumber once more. he almost laughs, knowing how quickly you'd fallen asleep in his arms, knowing full well the capabilities he has and the things he's done. things he was willing to do.

what a curious creature you were to someone like him. perhaps he'll keep you.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

HEY IM SO GLAD THAT YOURE BACK

My favorite person I missed you!

I sould like to ask for a little recanation reader with ror pls!

While bruhilda is summoning hero's to fight for humanity she wanted to see if she could speak to Nyx the goddess of night and the only god that zeus truely fears and even Odin has reasons to be wary of her.

But turns out that the queen of the night had fallen in battle and has gone through recanation and now lives as a human teacher living in texas (like me in the future!)

Bruhilda had no idea about this when she summon nyxs recantations and was surprised when she was greeted by the sight of a human woman who was trying to grade her 3 grade class test from last friday.

Hijinks and whimsy ensue as nyx reader has memories reawaken during her time in Valhalla( its magic anything can happen) and regains old and new friends during her time there (and maybe love?!)

Can i also ask for her taking place in adams when fighting Zeus to show the old man what happens when you fuck around and you'll most definitely find out?

-Brunnhilde was desperate, she needed a wild card fighter, a true wild card fighter, one that could shake the gods to their core with power.

-A lightbulb seemed to go off in her head as she made the realization that only a god could do that to another god, but she had pissed off about every single god in Valhalla when she proposed Ragnarok, so there weren’t any gods that she could easily approach to ask.

-A soft gasp escaped her lips as she remembered someone, someone who had been lost long ago, in a terrible battle, the goddess Nyx, who could make the earth tremble, the sky shake, and even bring Zeus to his knees.

-It took a bit of research, as time was running out to select fighters, but Brunnhilde finally found you, finding your soul and instantly she prepared the ceremony to summon you!

-You were sitting at your kitchen table, a cold cup of coffee sitting to the side of you as you yawned, trying to get through the rest of the tests you were grading for your third-grade class. It was late Friday night, and you were trying to wrap things up so you could enjoy your weekend.

-You felt your vision going hazy, just for a moment or two before you landed hard on your rear with a sharp cry, landing on a hard stone floor before you heard a woman’s voice, “Oh no!”

-You looked up, initially confused as to where you are and how you got there before your eyes went wide, “Brunnhilde? Wait- how- stars above! What happened?!”

-Brunnhilde was in about as much shock as you as she panicked, “Lady Nyx?!” you scrambled to your feet, memories of your previous life as the goddess of the night came rushing back to you, recalling everything, including how you died.

-The Valkyrie stammered, having not realized that you had been reincarnated as a human, she had only tracked your soul, not realizing that a whole body was going to come with it!!

-You went to speak when Jack and Nikola entered the room, looking for Brunnhilde as they both had a question to ask her and ran into each other on the way and they entered to find Brunnhilde with an unknown woman, both looking a bit frantic.

-You turned, seeing these two enter and your eyes instantly went wide before your pupils seemed to take over your eyes, shrouding them in darkness as you fell back, almost as if you were going to faint as Brunnhilde lunged to catch you, “Lady Nyx!!”

-Shadows and darkness shrouded your body, enveloping you and forcing Brunnhilde back into the arms of the men who were stunned and concerned, Nikola holding his wrist up to his nose to block the dust, “What’s happening?!”

-As quickly as it started you rose, still looking similar to the form Brunnhilde summoned you with, only with pure black eyes that seemed to sparkle with stars of the night sky, wearing a flowing black gown that seemed to have stars sewing into the fabric and a crown baring the crest of both a moon and a star appeared around your forehead.

-You exhaled deeply, as if you had experienced a rush of energy before you looked over at the three individuals, “Are you all unharmed?” you seemed to be exuding an aura of power, one that they could all easily sense that you were dangerous, but there was no hostility.

-The three of them explained to you, after you asked why you had been summoned back to Valhalla, and the two humans were stunned to learn that you were Goddess of the Night herself, Nyx, brought back after you had died so long ago.

-You learned of Zeus and the plans of the other gods, to wipe out humanity rather than taking care of their messes themselves and how Brunnhilde brought about Ragnarok to give humanity a chance.

-You were easily able to tell there was something else that Brunnhilde was planning, you weren’t completely sure what, but you knew, and she could tell that you knew.

-Jack introduced himself as Jack the Ripper and instead of looking frightened, you almost looked amused, giving him a small smile, “Creatures, monsters, and myths of the night are all my children, dear one, and you are no monster- at least the one you claim to be.” He was stunned, eyes wide that you were able to tell, but then again, you were a goddess.

-Nikola was… very enthusiastic, he reminded you of an excited puppy, as he had been wanting to talk to a god and began to rattle off questions, curious about you, and both Brunnhilde and Jack thought it was amusing to see Nikola so excited.

-You were very calm on the outside, not showing your emotions, but Jack could tell you were furious, the bright, angry red color of your soul, plus the heat you were radiating out, was a clear indication as you learned of the actions of the gods over the years, how cruel and evil they had been. Humans didn’t have clean hands either, but the gods had the power to correct not only the humans, but correct themselves as well, but did nothing, choosing to turn a blind eye just to destroy everything to get rid of the problem they created and ignored.

-You looked over at Brunnhilde with a knowing smile, “May I take it that the reason I was summoned was to fight for you, dear Brunnhilde?” she bowed her head, being respectful to you, “It is- or at least to ask for your insight on the champions for the matches, if you are willing?”

-Your eyes seemed to flash, something Nikola leaned in close to see, which you thought was rather cute before you smirked, “I will fight- but only on my terms.” Brunnhilde bowed her head again, thanking you but Jack could see that her colors of elation were dancing on the inside.

-You were impressed with Lu Bu’s raw strength, being able to go against Thor of all gods, and managed to injure him, just a little, and you could see the joy on both of their faces as they had fun together, never wanting their fight to end.

-When Zeus entered the arena as the next opponent, taking Shiva’s spot, your eyes seemed to dance as you approached Brunnhilde and Adam. You smiled gently at Adam, “Forgive me, but I wish to take your place. Zeus is going to learn an important lesson today.”

-Brunnhilde nodded, agreeing to the terms and sent the update so Heimdall could introduce you while Adam gave you a firm nod, “Save my children.” Your hand on the top of his head was comforting as you gave him your silent vow before you walked out.

-Heimdall was stunned when you walked out, before stunning everyone as he shouted, “It’s the return of the night! Fighting for humanity- resurrected and ready to rumble- Goddess of the Night- Nyx!!”

-Zeus was stammering, his knees knocking together as your dark gown swirled in the wind before you glared across the field and slowly, as if he was watching something terrible in slow motion, your hands came to your hips, “Zeus- would you like to explain yourself?”

-Many humans who didn’t know you were stunned, seeing that not only Zeus, but many of the gods looked downright terrified of you, many talking about how they needed to do something to appease you and quickly, telling everyone that you were easily one of the strongest, if not the strongest, gods in Valhalla.

-You did not kill Zeus, no- you wanted him to fix his mistakes, but that didn’t mean he walked away from the match uninjured. The first bitch slap you landed sent a shockwave throughout the stadium, sending Zeus flying into the sky above before you proceeded to wipe the floor with him.

-You called out all of his bullshit, wanting to destroy humanity after he let them get out of hands, treating humans like play things, not being able to keep it in his pants, and calling out the rest of the gods as well for not doing more, as it’s their job, as the creators of humanity, to manage them, and just because they got out of hand, it’s not okay to just brush them under the rug and destroy them.

-After you left Zeus in a steaming pile of lumps and bruises your hands rose to your hips again, “We the gods are going to have another meeting- now!” nobody opposed you, not even Odin, as the gods were quick to file out, moving to the meeting hall.

-You met up with Brunnhilde and Adam who both thanked you, happy to see that hopefully something was going to happen to prevent this tournament from going any further.

-You were known as a goddess of chaos, but at this point, all you wanted now was peace, and you were going to get it, Zeus was going to make sure of that, because a happy Nyx means a happy Zeus and the other gods.

[rozyowo]

One bed trope w sampo koski ❓❗❗❗

Fem!reader

"...I think i made a mistake while booking a room for both of us." You said awkwardly while looking at the bed. "Are you sure it was a 'mistake'? i feel like you did this on purpose..~" Sampo immediately responded. And well, soon earned a slap to the back of his head. "Oh for God's sake Sampo! Stop trying to make everything seem romantic, are you really that bad at trying to find a partner that you would rather make embarrassing statements and jokes?" You started pinching the bridge of your nose due to annoyance. Out of everyone, this situation really had to happen with Sampo. I swear to the aeons he's literally a curse for me.

"Ouch r/n... That hurts! You've shattered Sampo's fragile heart.." He said dramatically, putting on a sad face to try and make r/n feel guilty. But she wasn't having it. "And i hope that fragile little heart of yours stay shattered for the rest of your life." Was the last thing r/n said before leaving the room to book another room for both of them THAT actually has two beds instead of one.

But Sampo, the usual pest and nuisance he is decided to pull r/n back into the room, just great. "Wait..! Im sure the receptionist is busy taking care of other matters. For now, why dont you just relax yourself— or do anything that doesn't make you destroy everything near you..?" Sampo put on an awkward smile, trying to convince her. His tone was so rushed that she barely understood some part, but you get his point. "Whatever, and if you dare to try anything funny... I'll tell Natasha about your behavior, not only that— you'll also be taking a trip to her clinic." Sampo slightly shivered when you mentioned Natasha. The last thing he want is getting another long lecture from the nurse. "Alright— alright pal..."

....

..

.

"Sampo, any ideas on who'll sleep on the bed and the floor....?"

"You get the bed, i wouldn't want my dear friend catching a cold because of the floor now do i?"

"...Weird but thanks."

After minutes of silence, you decided to lay down on the left side of the bed, tired from what happened earlier, before earlier, AND now. While trying to adjust comfortably, the bed sinked even more and you opened your eyes, immediately looking to your right. "Sampo what the hell?! I THOUGHT we agreed on me sleeping on the bed!" You tried to move away from him but you ended up falling off the bed. Making Sampo laugh. After ten seconds of struggling, you managed to stand up. "You didn't say where i would sleep though.. So i figured out that i could choose on where." He said, trying to sound smart. "Oh, and before you tell me to get off the bed.. It's too late for that my dear friend! So you either sleep on the floor... Or beside me if you prefer to be warm and not freeze to death.." Sampo grinned at the poor frustrated woman before turning around to sleep, leaving you frustrated. "fine. But remember what i said earlier, do anything funny and—" "Alright! Alright.. I already know." Sampo really cut you off.. But you let it slide since you're too tired to even respond. when you had the courage to finally lay down the bed, sampo mumbled something under his breathe. But you didn't dare to bother asking him anymore because you're already drifting to sleep.

Although you didn't know that sampo was still wide awake... Playing with your hair while giggling quietly as if they just got accepted by their crush, which is you. <3

i didn't proofread so don't make fun of me if there's grammar or spelling error >:(

+i wrote this while it was 3am

( please this is so old get out)

[bug-bites]

whatcha lookin at buddy? :3

tw: none!! just some silly fluffy romantic hcs, also not edited bc im just an eepy lil guy

pairing: rodolfo "rudy" parra x gn!reader

summary: uhhh your boyfriend shares his silly little late night habit with you or something

characters: rodolfo "rudy" parra

notes: i never know what to title these things also i know the formatting is ugly!! i wrote this in my notes app and was too lazy to make it look decent,, <(＿　＿)>

rudy never was one to sleep early, in all honesty he seemed to do the complete opposite. he would always go to bed hours later after you. you never understood why.

it wasn't anything that made you suspicious, he wouldnt go far, most of the time he would still be at home, just outside. it was just odd, but it didnt seem like anything bad?

one night you woke up and there was an unfamiliar emptiness beside you, rudy wasnt there next to you like he was right before you fell asleep

its the middle of the night what else would this guy be doing at 2am??

so you're panicking a bit, you wake up and your boyfriend isnt next to you. sure maybe hes just pissing but you're tired and logic isnt the first thing that comes to mind

you call out for him, your throat a bit dry after you've just woken up and it comes out a bit more panicked than you intended

you sit up, eyes scanning the room looking for him- any sign of him

a sigh of relief leaves your lips, he's there. he's in your bedroom, back turned to you as he gazes upwards, out the window.

as soon as he hears his name his head whips around, why are you panicking?? whats going on?? did something happen? did you have a nightmare? most importantly, are you okay?

but he hears your sigh and you mumble something under your breath. he closes the curtains and walks towards you, gently cupping your cheek

"qué pasa?" "sorry i just- you weren't next to me and i just panicked" "nothing to be sorry for."

his voice is soft, barely above a whisper. he runs his thumb along your cheekbone, holding your cheek so tenderly it feels like you're about to melt

"it's okay. im right here."

"what were you doing?" you ask him, its about damn time he tells you anyways and you're getting curious about his strange nighttime habit "you'll find out tomorrow. its better if its a surprise." he kisses your forehead and climbs back into bed with you. "what if i dont want it to be a surprise?" "well thats not up to you. now go to sleep, cariño"

one his arms snake around your waist, the other making its way under your head, like a pillow but better

the next night, as soon as it gets dark he finally lets you in on his not so secret secret.

he grabs your hand, your fingers intertwining with his and leads you outside to a picnic blanket

"its a bit late for a picnic." you say with a yawn

he rolls his eyes as he walks over to the blanket, lying down flat on his back. you do the same, curious to what his next move was.

"stop looking at me and look up" he says with a chuckle

you listen to him and look up, hundreds of stars scattered in the distant sky. its calm, the sounds of the crickets chirping, his hand in yours, your back flat against the picnic blanket, its so serene you almost forget to breathe

"i used to do this all the time when i was younger." rudy says, breaking the silence "i would set up a mat outside and me and alejandro would lie there for hours until my mamá would yell at us to come back inside"

you look over at him, just for a second and catch him smiling as he reminisces

"i like to look at the stars when i get overwhelmed. reminds me i how small i am in the universe" "thats a bit melancholic, dont you think? the idea that we're so much smaller than the universe. like we dont matter as much as we think" you say, "i dont think of it like that. its like the world is bigger than my problems, it continues and theres so much more than just my troubles." he replies, eyes fixated on the stars "well when you put it that way, it sounds pretty nice"

the next few minutes are spent with rudy teaching you some basic constellations like the big and small dipper and then moves onto the more complex ones like ursa minor, andromeda and orion.

each constellation he points out comes with a story, as great as they look you cant help but watch him as he tells you all about them. its something he loves so deeply, you can tell from the way the corners of his mouth turn upwards as he describes them to you, the look of amazement in his eyes even though he's seen the stars hundreds of times. you cant help but fall more for him with every word he says

"i wish we met earlier. before when i was younger you could see so much more than just ...this. i wish i could've shown it to you" his tone becomes slightly bittersweet.

you don't exactly know what to say, you just wrap an arm around his torso, you mutter a soft "i know" right before you press a kiss to his cheek

the next time you two go stargazing its when you go camping together, although sure its not just in your backyard its as close as you can get with just enough clarity in the sky to see everything rudy wanted to show you :]

taglist: @pygm4li0n

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

WIP Wednesday

Thankuuu for the tag @carlos-in-glasses !! 💗 (Please know how sorry I am that I haven’t been showing the love for Where All This Love Comes From that it deserves yet, my life and mind have been busy and stressed lately so I’ve been somewhat of a passive scroller, but I promise you that I was jumping up and down internally when I saw it had gotten posted, and I shall return to it and pour my adoration out over it as soon as I’m able!)

I do happen to have something to share today, so here is a snippet of an emotional monologue that came to be completely out of my control, from TK trying to reassure Carlos that he is a good man, and is lovable and forgivable for his actions in 4.18

“Carlos, when I met you, one of the things I admired about you was that you were the kind of cop who didn’t believe that anyone was inherently bad, or beyond reprieve. You were - are - the kind who sees the nuances, sees the people behind their actions even if it complicates things. And who knows that even normal, good people can end up in bad situations, can be drawn to desperate measures if they’re pushed hard enough.” He chuckles slightly on the next word, the memory a cherished one. “Baby, you looked at me, sitting across from you in a police station when you barely even knew me, with cuffs around my wrists and a busted lip from a bar fight that I was the one to initiate while I told you about my history with illegal substance abuse, and your first impulse was to apologise for serving champagne that night I ran out on you like a crazy person, and hurt you doing it. Nothing in the way that you looked at me changed. You still looked at me and saw me, saw someone you wanted to help, someone you wanted to get to know on a deeper level, someone you wanted to love. You - just like that, you decided to love me; and not even in spite of, but because of who I was.” TK licks his lips before continuing, tasting salt from the tears he hadn’t noticed had started to fall.

“And even with all the things I’ve told you about my past since then, about the things I’ve done while I was high out of my mind and the things I did to get high or even to conceal how bad it had really gotten, you just kept loving me and believing in me and seeing me. And baby,” TK lifts Carlos’ chin so they’re face to face, rubbing his thumb just to the side and underneath his lower lip, seeing it catch on his thumb and drag slightly with the movement. It’s feels like forever since every place on their bodies became little spots in the world that were among the most familiar to the other’s touch, since every point on their bodies became one suited for providing and receiving physical comfort from the other. “Baby” he repeats, “I could never do anything short of doing you the same courtesy.”

Tags under the cut!

I again have no idea who’s done it and who’s not, so I’ll tag every one of my mutuals, also just for taking the chance to say thank you again (to those I have talked with) and just thank you (to those I haven’t yet) for making this fandom such a nice place and welcoming me into it ! I’m starting to feel more and more a part of it, and that’s really awesome, cause I really like it here! 😌 😊 🙃

And if I have any followers that I’m for some reason not mutuals with, consider this the openest of open tags if you wanna participate!!!!!!!!!!

@heartstringsduet @craftytragedysalad @paperstorm @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @thisbuildinghasfeelings @never-blooms @catanisspicy @lightningboltreader @lemonlyman-dotcom @welcometololaland

[scribz-ag24]

i know this is super late but if you're still open to asks for the fandom ask meme, 13 and 23?

Hmmm it's hard to say since I'm always focusing on grovyle/dusknoir/celebi stuff and I've already drawn Guildshipping as well. Actually, it's probably Darkrai/Cresselia. I always like the couple as a kid bc of their dynamic in the games and anime, about them not being evil/good, but counterparts that protect and need each other.

Inside the pmd universe, Darkrai is barely a character at all, I think he's the weakest narrative point in the entire game, and a good contender for most boring antagonist of the franchise (if only for how much of a downgrade he is compared to the rest of the Explorers games' plot), but there is a scene in Explorers of Spirit that shows a deeper bond between Darkrai and Cresselia, and a sort of betrayal between them, that catches my attention. Since there's nothing on the main game that contradicts that headcanon, I just run with it and adopt it for myself, we do love some friends to enemies dynamic here.

Basically, they could be so toxic yuri to me and i really hope i get to clean some sketches i did about them some time lol.

Also maybe revisit those Grovyle/Dusknoir/Darkrai toxic yaoi ideas bc they were really fun to work with lmao. Maybe even simply inserting darkrai into the future polycule and having them all want to kill him rfqegvqerq

And in case youre curious about the Fionna and Cake fandom, i have an entire comic about Astrid and Scarab I wish i had the energy to clean lmao. So it'd be Astrid, she's a cute little annoying fangirl

My favourite character changes every day because I can never decide on whether I prefer Grovyle or Dusknoir lmao. They're both too good. But on the shipping side of things...

Funnily enough, I guess I went from being strictly a Dusknoir/Grovyle fan after se5 to becoming a fan of the polycule after some reflection. I didn't want to get frustrated by how much attention Grovyle/Celebi had despite Celebi's short time on-screen (and at first frustrating "tee hee im a girl,, im pink and have a crush on boy pokemon uwu" characterization) and become one of good ol' toxic 13 yo fujoshis who hated female characters for "being an obstacle" to the yaoi ship. So I tried to focus more on Celebi and I ended up liking her quite a lot once I tried to read more between lines and drew her more times! Especially since you can basically make her have any dynamic you want with Dusknoir. She can be very fun to write and draw! I just wish the writing in the game had given her more... well, writing.

And in the Adventure Time fandom ig i stopped liking Prismo/Scarab a lot after a while and just preferred Kheirosiphon/Scarab but i basically shipped Scarab wwith anyone so there''s not much difference xd

[redefinemyworld]

You know, I've been here a while watching the sag-aftra and the writers strike quite aptly as a 19 year old university student who's only other hobby is literally consuming media so this is kind of important to me and I'm not gonna lie it makes me kind of sad.

But not in the way anyone would think. Before we jump to conclusions I am in full support of all the strikes. Don't stop until you get the compensation you deserve.

But it makes me sad because for context I'm South African. I go to university on a financial aid scheme created by the government and lately out government has been getting worse and worse. Showing its stripes worse and worse. And so I'm not shocked that their financial aid scheme is showing funny changed.

So the financial aid scheme is call Nationtional Student Financial Aid Scheme, it became a bursary (scholarship) a few years ago after a bunch of "fee must fall strikes" which were in response to high tertiary school fees. That happened while I was in primary school (around grade 7) and it now funds disadvantaged students whose families earn a household income of less than ZAR350000 per annum ($19520, €17538, £15172).

Okay cool. Nice. But what it doesn't take into account are middle income families earning over that threshold but are still unable to afford school fees, either because there's many mouths to feed in a household or because they are just part of the missing middle but that's not the chat.

As much as I see #treelaw trending I also wanna see NSFAS trending. I want to see tumblr talking about all these things cause they are such a big fucking deal.

Usually how the scheme works is they send money to the university that pays tuition, the university also distributes the accommodation and living allowance to the funded students. Recently, the scheme has changed and they decided to create a bank account that sends students living allowances straight to them and here's where the problem starts.

There was a bid to decide which corporation/banks would be in charge of creating this specific NSFAS student bank account and a bunch of corporations no one has ever heard of outbid the largest banks and organisations in the country. The company is called Noracco, eZaga, Coinvest and Tenet.

Now here's where things get silly goofy.

They are not a registered financial service provider. They barely even have a fucking website. And they are handling people's livelihoods and billions of South African Rands. Only one of the corporations is connected to an authorised financial service provider which is eZaga. (How this was not a requirement I have no idea)

Students are not getting their living allowances. This means no groceries, no transport home, toiletries, nothing. Keep in mind these are disadvantaged students. No one is getting extra money from home to help them with such expenses

They have terrible service. No phone calls, emails nothing is answered.

They have insanely high bank charges. This takes advantage of so many students and uses up what little allowance money they have to live. A student usually receives around R1600 for a month (which is around 89USD)

You can't spend more than a capped amount of money a day, which is incredibly inconvenient when shopping for groceries as one can spend almost R800 (44USD) on groceries plus an extra R50-R100 (3-8 USD) for transportation.

This was started in the middle of the school year (February-November is how the year works here, it started in June/July for universities and TVETs had been introduced to in 2022 and have been striking against it since)

Students are out here SUFFERING and there is no one helping!!! We are being THREATENED to participate in this sham with out living allowances being WITHHELD FROM US.

The financial abuse is soooo real

I know im talking into the void but I'm hoping and praying that this catches someone's attention enough for people to start talking about it.

Here are a bunch of articles calling out this weird, Obviously corrupt organisations that answer anything that doesn't currently have any links connected to it.

The public protector has also recently been assigned to investigate.

https://www.outa.co.za/blog/newsroom-1/post/nsfas-what-are-you-doing-with-student-funds-1233

https://www.da.org.za/2023/07/da-raises-alarm-over-nsfas-direct-payment-system

https://www.unisa.ac.za/sites/myunisa/default/Announcements/Unisa-has-taken-note-of-concerns-raised-by-students-regarding-direct-payment-system

https://www.iol.co.za/weekend-argus/news/fraudulent-withdrawals-from-nsfas-funded-students-accounts-threaten-their-future-a4a47850-bad4-45e9-a30f-9b8b48a08998

https://www.timeslive.co.za/news/south-africa/2023-07-10-tut-students-reject-new-banking-system-for-nsfas-beneficiaries/

On top of this, NSFAS has also been defending thousands of students nationally referring to them as "undeserving". While I understand there are some people who take advantage of them system specifically for underprivileged students the way they went about it is not the best.

Students are actively being thrown out of their residents and accommodations and being de-registered from their institutions. Questions have been put in place as to what is deemed as undeserving but all NSFAS can claim is students who are financially and/or academically ineligible refusing to take into account student circumstances.

At the end of the day, every student uses the scheme the same way. And sure sometimes there's someone with a household with more than R350000 p/a benefiting but personally, I don't see anything wrong with someone having a little extra pocket money. There is no reason anyone, anywhere should be forced to live on a to make ends meet budget.

This was not the best layout. It was probably messy and all over the place, but I have never really written something this long, complex and detailed for tumblr. It's missing so many important details and contexts that I'm hoping anyone who cares to read will find out more about and help give us a voice.

We just want to learn without worrying about where we're going to sleep or what we're going to eat.

Please any attention is good, just to put pressure on the people in charge. Please let's get tree law and fund the defended trending together. ❤️

[dckweed]

@multifandom-world8 babes i am so sorry, this took me an embarrassing amount of time, but, here it is, and there will also be a second part as well !

my loves, it's been a hot minuet..but hi, hey, I'm here. Idk about yall but i had a kick ass weekend. Currently recovering from whiplash and fucking up my throat at a rock concert on Sunday (escape the fate, Hollywood undead, falling in reverse, and papa roach ((loml)) fr those wondering) that was so fucking amazing. How was yalls weekend? Everyone blow up the comments !

PLEASE NO ONE SPOIL THE TEENWOLF MOVIE! i have yet to watch it, and im sure there are others who haven't as well. Please be respectful in not spoiling anything on my posts.

I am aware that there is a paragraph that's darkened out and I have no idea how to fix it, for that, i apologize.

warnings: minors should not read this, but i know that i cannot stop you from opening this, so please, if you're under the age of 18, read at your own risk. this fic contains smut, maybe a bit of angst, biting, AGE GAPPED READER! reader was 19 when bitten, and in her 20s in the fic. Peter himself is a warning because guys look at him.

california dreamin'.., peter hale

Five years. Five long, fucking years of being stuck in this bullshit ass town, cleaning up supernatural mess after supernatural mess. You couldn't help but to wonder if the founders of Beacon Hills truly understood the irony of their towns name, it truly was a Beacon.

You suppose that was how you'd wound up in this mess anyway, the town being what it was and all, the werewolf population had gripped its claws into you and had never let you go. You had been a sophomore when it all happened, roped in by association with Stiles and Scott, and much like Stiles you had stayed human for most of it, until Derek's uncle had decided to use you as the main pawn for one of his stupid ass revenge fantasies. You hadn't taken it well at first, the bite completely destroyed you and it took a long time to build yourself up again, and by the time you had, you were much too late to do anything else with your life, and so, you had elected to stay behind and help keep the town out of trouble while the rest of your friends went on and lived their lives. 

Working at your family's business wasn't that horrible you supposed, you could make your own hours, and being the owners child, you got paid just slightly more than the others did, which was definitely on your pro list. As was your weekly meeting with the man who had turned you. Typically, Peter came in for lunch or maybe dinner (depending on which shift you were working) and while you worked, the pair of you would talk about any odd goings on, and catch up on what everyone was doing out in the world. It was also your allotted time to ogle the man. 

Maybe it was the loyalty you still felt to him after all this time from the bite, or maybe you were just really fucking lonely, but good god you couldn't deny that the man was the definition of sexy..

You had seen him today, during the lunch shift and though it had been brief, it had been long enough for your mind to wonder to dangerous places, wild thoughts running loose in your mind, the slight scar on your shoulder throbbing as they did, reminding you of the night he had given it to you..

It was cold, fall was beginning to set in to Beacon Hills once more as the seasons changed. You were 19 now, barely scraping by in highschool as it was, caught between the drama of your friend group and the drama of the supernatural beings that inhabited said group and tonight? Well, tonight you were quite literally the drama. 

Peter had lured you to his loft, you had thought that you would be meeting the entire pack there, and therefore hadn't thought to text any of them and after arriving, you quickly realized how wrong you were. Peter had answered the door, much too friendly than he had ever been towards you before with a smile on his usually scowling face. 

"I didn't think you'd actually show up." He says, opening the door just enough to let you slip in, your body brushing against his ever so slightly, shock of electric tingling down your spine as you did. You had always felt that way around him, but you just assumed it was a you thing and didn't notice the way that his hand tightened its grip on the door, or that his body went rigid, nor did you hear the sigh that escaped his lips. 

"What exactly is the emergency, Peter?" You ask, turning to face him when you realize the loft is empty. He had sent you an urgent text, the kind that usually went out to the entire pack, and you were in partial disbelief that you would have been the first to show up, or the first texted. You were human, which meant you were far down the chain of urgency list in emergency werewolf situations. 

"Sit." He says, eyebrow quirking and a slight thrill spreading through him as he watches you drop immediately onto the couch, almost mindlessly, eyes trained on him, wide and curious. He takes a seat on the chair across from the couch, launching into what was meant to be a proposal, a deal if you will..He was in one of his revenge fantasy phases, and was trying to willingly enlist your help, because for some reason (both Supernatural and logically), you weren't the person he was intent to have helping him. 

Peter knew why he felt the way he did when you brushed against him, it wasn't the first time and it certainly wasn't the last. He was a smart man, and it wasn't too hard to piece together for him. And in all honesty, at first he wanted to protect you from it, from him, and for a while it worked. But now? Now he wanted to be selfish. He needed to be selfish, even if it meant bringing you into the mix. 

"Absolutely fucking not." You say abruptly after a brief moment of silence once he had finished speaking, explaining to you what was going on in his mind. "No..just..no. ive seen what Scott and Liam go through, and yeah maybe it has cool perks but no just..why would you even think that I would go along with something like that Peter?" 

He could hear in your voice how desperately you disagreed with his idea, and a part of him wants to let you walk out that door and forget that this whole thing happened to begin with, but that selfish side wins. He stands as you move towards the door, and in two long, powerful strides, he pulls you back against his chest, arms around your torso pinning your own to your sides. 

"Peter! Peter let me go!" You yell, struggling despite the electric shock coursing through you once more. His grip only tightens on you, and you feel his breath on your ear as he brings his mouth down, can feel him breathing in your scent. 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but this isn't optional.." He whispers, feeling you start to struggle more. He growls a little, his werewolf side coming out. His hold on you strengthens enough to be able to hold you still as he licks the area of exposed shoulder that your sweater had slid off of, his teeth grazing the skin ever so slightly. He debated letting you go, he didn't like the way that you were crying at all, you were going to hate him for this. 

He had already gone too far to turn back though. Before he can talk himself out of it, he bites down on your shoulder, trying to be as gentle as possible so as not to hurt you too much, but also trying to make sure it would take. He can't help but to savor you for a moment, the animal in him going absolutely feral over scent alone, he could do this for hours, he thought and happily he almost does until he realizes that your crying has stopped and you are now slumped against him. 

It had been the longest couple of years after that. You had just barely been able to graduate with your friends, nearly having to take a sixth year of highschool, though if that had happened you probably would have just dropped out. You had already taken freshman year twice, you couldn't go through senior year again. 

You had been so mad at Peter for the longest time, though you were still doing everything he asked of you. Scott and Derek had said it was the alpha bond, but personally, you felt like it was different than that because if was like your entire judgement was clouded over when it came to him, and honestly it still was though you had learned to look through it and use your own logic. 

Even before the bite you had been strangely attracted to Peter, though it definitely intensified after and you were certainly no stranger to fantasizing about him, so, as your shoulder throbbed ever so slightly, you let yourself fall into one of those fantasies, you were the only one in the front of the diner anyway, the late shift never being busy save for the occasional drunkard, you needed some form of entertainment. 

The fantasy was much like your others, though more intense than they normally were..peter was leading you up to his loft, your hand in his as he practically dragged you up the stairs, a girly little giggle escaping you as you run after him, your heels sounding on the ground and the skirt of your dress swishing around your bottom. 

Peter had gone full on foreplay in the car on your way back from your dinner date, his hands in between your legs, his nails ripping the fabric of your panties to shreds before pumping his fingers in and out of your dripping, aching core, clenching around his fingers as if begging for something more. 

The sound he had made when he felt you was almost feral, it ripped right through to your core and you could've cum from that alone, but alas, Peter had other plans for you. The door to his loft is barely even closed before he has you pressed up against it, his large, firm hands pressed tightly on your thighs as he hoists you up, letting you wrap your legs around his waist, your mouths moving against each other's with an urgency that you'd grown accustomed to when it came to him, as if the two of you could never get enough of each other. 

"Jesus.." You groan, the feel of his hard cock pressed against your bare mound sending shockwaves through your aching body, lust taking over your entire train of thought. 

"You and I both know I'm the farthest thing from holy, sweetheart.." He whispers, voice breathless as he makes his way down your throat, the stubble of his five o'clock shadow tickling your skin in the most delicious of ways, edging you halfway to insanity. 

After a few moments longer he removes you from the door, carrying you to his bed. His hands are on your bare ass under the skirt of your dress, squeezing the flesh appreciatively before giving a nice slap, throwing you off of his body and onto his mattress. You bounce, staring up at him through lust filled eyes as you watch him take his V-Neck off of his torso, tossing it to the ground before he gets to work on his jeans. You kick your heels off, they clunk to the floor before you shimmy out of your dress, the fabric falling off your body as you lift yourself off of the mattress the slightest bit. 

You realize as he gives you long, gazing look over your body that you are embarrassingly desperate for this man to even breathe in your direction, let alone fuck you, and yet here you are, on his bed, laid out all nice and pretty as you watch him fist his thick, deliciously long cock in his hands a couple of times, groaning at the thought of it inside of you. 

"You coming?" You ask, teasingly as you spread your legs for him, biting your lip. His shoulders slump as if in defeat and he let's out one of the prettiest sighs you think you've ever heard in your life. 

"Sweetheart, i hope not for a long while." He says finally and you giggle, before screeching in surprise when he grips your ankle and pulls you down to the edge of the bed, wrapping your legs around his hips as he teases your aching cunt with his cock, dragging up and down your sopping slit, once..twice..three times before he pushes himself into your tight, warm hole.

The noise that escapes your mouth is one of pure filth and it seems to be all the urging on he needs as he pumps his hips in and out of you. You watch as his face contort with each thrust deeper and deeper into you, your pussy clenching onto him with need he'd never felt before, your hips rising up off of his bed as if to beckon him in to you farther. 

You were already so over stimulated just from being horny that you knew you didn't stand a chance of lasting nearly as long as you could have, and you had a feeling he knew it to because the more sounds you made for him, the more one of your hands tugged at your own breasts and the other pawed at his forearm where his hand gripped your hips so meanly, the harder he fucked into you. 

It was almost painful, and you knew that if you hadn't been a werewolf it probably would have been. You wouldn't complain though because something about him being the one to bring on that kind of way in the sinfully delicious way that he was doing it, was absolutely glorious to you and dear God you basked in the absolute pleasure it brought you. 

Peter grunts as your pussy grips him, the sound of your skin slapping together and the squelching of your wet cunt sucking him back into your pussy every time he pulled out was filling the room, a beautiful music to his ears, as was the high pitched groan that escaped your throat as he gripped your hips harder, angling them up off the bed. He could feel himself hitting you at a deeper angle and just the look on your face as he did was what was going to make him finish, the way your eyes rolled into the back of your head, your mouth hung open in a silent moan, your tits bouncing every time he fucked into you..you were the perfect sight..

"So fucking perfect for me, y/n..y/n..

"Y/N!" Peter brings you out of your day dream, snapping his fingers in front of your face. You squeak in fright, heart racing and face flushing as you realize the man you had been fantasizing about was standing before you. 

"Jesus fucking Christ Peter!" You yell, calming yourself down. You glance at the clock behind him, noting the time. "It's almost midnight what the hell are you doing here?" 

The man looks at you as if you were insane, which, honestly, you had to wonder yourself if you were..nothing else could explain the way that you felt about the man that barely looked at you some days. "I told you at lunch I was going to pick you up tonight, remember? You said your car was broke down.." Truthfully, you hadn't thought he was serious. Peter hardly ever did anything with you outside of your meetings and occasionally running into him at the store..

"Oh.." Shit. How the fuck were you supposed to survive an entire car ride with him when you knew he could smell the horny radiating off of you? You were about to tell him that you were fine to walk when you realized it was raining pretty hard out, because of course California would decde to ends its drought right now. Fuck me up a goddamn river. 

"Give me a minuet.." 

[lucigoo]

So, its very much Sunday (even though I thought it was Saturday ...) not Friday and im very late, but never mind!

Pairing: Bilbo'Thorin

Warnings: MCD, Canon Compliant

Words:801

Summary: Bilbo is watchig the eagles fly overhead in victory. With Thorin's cooling hand in his, Bilbo isnt sure what their is to feel victorious over.

#248- Watching Birds @flashfictionfridayofficial

A03 link here

Bilbo sat holding Thorin’s hand as the warmth is leached from it. He knew he should move. Knew sitting in a puddle of frozen blood was a very bad idea, but he also knew that as soon as he let go, as soon as he moved, it was over. Thorin would well and truly be gone.

Instead, he laid himself down beside the dwarf. Still holding his hand as tightly as his numb ones could manage it and he looked up.

What he saw would be majestic under any other circumstance. The Eagles flying ahead, doing victory rolls, cawing out their joy at the orcs and the dragon having been defeated.

Well, bully for them, Bilbo thought spitefully. Bully for them and all the other parts of Middle-Earth who were saved because of sacrifices. Sacrifices so big Bilbo couldn’t bare to think about them. Even as he held the hand in his tighter and tighter.

His thoughts suddenly turned to the boys. Sweet, wonderful Kili with a smile that was mischievous and warm, and golden little Fili, a Prince who didn’t succumb to gold sickness because his heart was more golden than anything in the Treasury.

And Thori, brave, beautiful Thorin who tried and tried and yet would never see his kingdom reborn, wouldn’t raise his nephews as the princes they were. Wouldn’t see his sister take back her birth right as Princess under the Mountain.

Bilbo wasn’t sure why it was the thought of Dis that set his tears off. Why the idea of her being alone, and not holding the now bitterly icy hand of the dwarf he had never admitted he loved was what did it, but it was.

He suddenly pulled Thorin’s hand closer and bent over it, wailing into the sky. Hs mournful cries a viscous parody of the eagles’ happy ones from before.

It was there Bilbo sat, his wails raising as he watched the eagles some more, hating them more and more at the carefree way they frolicked, when he heard them. He would recognise those footsteps anyway, and he hated them just as much as the eagles in that moment.

“I thought Wizards were never late? Well, you were. You are so late, it’s impolite Gandalf. You weren’t late with the trolls, or Elrond’s council or the goblins, but here, now? Here you are so late it ended in tragedy. Tragedy, you probably could have avoided Gandalf. Where were you?” Bilbo asked as he lowered his eyes from the sky to his old friend before him.

“I was fighting Bilbo, as were many others. Thorin made his own choices Bilbo, he always has,” Gandalf said sadly.

“No, he rode out like a bloody idiot because he was feeling guilty. You were supposed to be here so they didn’t succumb. So they didn’t lose themselves, but you weren’t. And he forgave me, but he hated me and I betrayed him and it is all fucked up Gandalf!” Bilbo cried.

“There is nothing I can say or do, my friend. But you must stand and let go of his hand,” Gandalf said as he softly reached towards Bilbos entwined hand.

“No,” Bilbo snarled as he scurried backwards, holding Thorin’s hand tightly, refusing to let go. “I’m not ready,” he said again around sobs.

“Bilbo, you will never be ready, but you have to let go and we have to get you to a healer.” Gandalf tried again.

“Why? So I can go back to the Shire and be an even lesser hobbit than I was? So I can go back and pretend to fit in when my heart, my everything is buried under stone on the other side of the world. I can’t let go Gandalf,” Bilbo sobbed.

Gandalf sighed as he reached forwards ad slowly pried Bilbo’s hand loose, catching it before it could cling again. “Im sorry your heart has broken Bilbo, but you are alive, ad we must make sure it stays that way,” Gandalf said as he pulled Bilbo close.

“Ok, but I will wait here. I won’t grab him. But ... He can’t stay here alone. That’s not right. Send someone to carry him down. Someone who will treat him like the King he is, the King he was,” Bilbo said softly as for the first and last time he touched Thorin’s braids, moving them off his face and softly kissing his brow.

“Very well, I shall be back shortly, do not move, and do not Bilbo ...” he trailed off.

“I won’t,” Bilbo repeated as he softly stroked Thorin’s freezing face.

Bilbo heard as Gandalf left, heard as his footsteps retreated. He carried on stroking Thorin’s face as he looked up again.

The eagles had come, and like Gandalf, they had been too late to save his king, his dwarf, the one he loved.