#Although I hope the mental hospital arc doesn’t go away too much that was my favorite part | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

edwardslostalchemy · 4 years

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Explain the difference between endevour and Bakugou’s Behavior when it comes to treating others how they do. Thanks (:D)

This is tough because I’m so biased to believe they are both abusive. And I really just want to tell you with the Pam from the Office meme that they’re the same person. But I know that’s not entirely true. Both of these characters have inflicted damage to other characters.

However, I acknowledge that Katsuki is still a teenager and I am holding out for hope that Horikoshi gives him proper development, that he can regret his actions, have a good redemption arc, apologize to Izuku, and be a better character.

Endeavor is just. A monster. Because through more than 20 years, he never stopped to think that MAYBE just MAYBE he was hurting PEOPLE, and the people were his FAMILY, his WIFE, his CHILDREN. He hurt FIVE people. He didn’t even see them as people to begin with, just a means to an end. He didn’t even see Shouto as a child, he saw him as his ‘masterpiece’, an extension of himself, the perfect tool to use for his ambition. He saw his three older children as failures and neglected them, pushing them aside and separating Shouto from his siblings because he ‘lived in a different world from the one they lived in’. It is heavily implied and suggested that he has beat his wife and even on screen, the sounds that were made were obviously of him hitting her and she falls to the ground. And the way Shouto reacts, with a horrified expression while calling for his mother, is more than enough proof that that’s what happened in that one instant. He drove her to madness, so much so that she ended up maiming her youngest child, someone who had no fault in any of what was going on, but ended up on the receiving end of her meltdown, unfortunately. And what did Endeavor do? He put her in a mental hospital because she ‘hurt his masterpiece’. Not even ‘because she hurt my son/child’ or ‘because she needs help’. Because he hurt his masterpiece. His tool. We still don’t know what happened to Touya, but we do know that Endeavor had a hand in killing him, which is horrifying and so so terrible. How…how do you just. Move on from that? It’s no wonder Natsuo hates him so much. It’s no wonder Shouto has so many mixed feelings and doesn’t know what to feel. It’s no wonder Rei is so scared of him and doesn’t want to see him even if it’s been more than 10 years since she’s been there. Even Fuyumi has admitted that she feels the same way as Natsuo and Shouto.

This is different from Katsuki. He didn’t do any of this and I really hope he never does. It would be unfortunate and sad. He has been compared to Endeavor, though, in terms of behavior, by All Might. However, he still hurt Izuku. He’s called him useless, he’s called him scum and has said he is like a pebble and like an insect he can crush if I remember correctly; he’s used his quirk on him to hurt him, and just by what we saw from the first episode, it says a lot about what he did. As little kids, he and his friends beat up Izuku. And then fast forward to middle school, he’s still bothering and hurting him. It’s quite exaggerated if I’m being honest, but still, Izuku is pushed against the wall and Katsuki stands over him threateningly. Their teacher doesn’t even do anything to stop it. After classes end, he burns Izuku’s notebook and tosses it out of the window and then tells him to kill himself. After the entrance exam for UA and they both get accepted, he pushes Izuku against a secluded wall and threatens him to not go to UA. He used so much of his quirk during the battle trial that All Might warned him not to use it or else he’d kill Izuku. And his response was that he wouldn’t get killed as long as he dodged. He still threatened him during their first semester and hit him in the face during their final exam. We don’t get to see throughout the years the extend of the bullying, just glimpses of how Katsuki tells Izuku his quirk will never be as good as his, he would leave him behind, he’d push him down; but we get to see the aftermath and Izuku does not think of himself as worthy. He has self-esteem issues, he flinches whenever he is approached by Katsuki, although this is improving because he hasn’t been stepping back recently. Katsuki can’t attack Izuku anymore because Aizawa can stop him. It’s not because he felt bad. It’s because a teacher with the means to do it finally stepped in and went ‘nope’. Aizawa doesn’t reprimand him, but he stops him. Izuku is getting better at fighting back. Katsuki can’t push him around anymore. But it doesn’t mean he’s stopped yelling at him or has stopped hurting him. He still stabs him on the head to shut him up. He’s very disrespectful when it comes to OFA meetings (and really he’s disrespectful all the time). But the thing is that now, currently in the manga, he doesn’t have that chance to attack Izuku anymore. Which is GOOD. I still see his behavior as abusive because bullies are abusive. They still hurt people mentally, physically, and/or emotionally.

The difference is that nobody was there to stop Endeavor, but someone was there to stop Katsuki. Endeavor took a hell of a long time to realize that what he did was not right and evaluated that his reasons for doing what he did were not really….I guess enough. Or wrong. Perhaps I’m not interpreting that scene correctly, where he is fighting High End and he’s thinking “that’s the reason….the reason…” and it pans over Rei, Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Shouto. Endeavor is an ADULT who should have better judgement and better sense in treating people like people. He’s a certified Hero, but only acts heroically publicly. With his family? Not even close. He did it because he believed this was the best option for reaching his goal. But it was not an ethical option. Katsuki did what he did because his ego was inflated and people would tell him he was the best and his quirk was amazing, even by Izuku. Katsuki is a KID. And I really hope he gets better development. I really hope he stops hurting Izuku and starts treating him like a person and like a friend. (And I say this for Izuku’s sake, not his.)

Now as far as how these two characters treat other people.

They’re both arrogant and proud, but they’re executed differently. Endeavor is arrogant in that he doesn’t want to join other heroes because he ‘is a very busy man’, as we saw when detective Tsukauchi requested his help to rescue Katsuki from the League of Villains. He also complained that All Might was getting the spotlight and not him. Why did he have to stay where he was when All Might was rushing into action? I am trying to translate this word to English, but what comes up is despot. He abuses power and oppresses others, most notably his family. However, because of his status, he is still rude and selfish with other people. His interactions with All Might are so tense. All Might goes to say hi and he’s like “is that it?” and walks away. And then he tells him how Shouto will beat him. It’s disgusting how he talks about Shouto as if he were a tool and not his son, and also he says ‘that’s why I made him’ as if Shouto is only worth being something to use instead of someone to cherish, i.e. a child. He’s beginning to atone, which is good. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth because I cannot stand abusers and I myself have dealt with someone who is awful. Not on this level of asshole, but he’s still an asshole. Anyway, back to him. He allows Natsuo to tell him what he’s thinking, which is GOOD. This is something I like because he didn’t shut Natsuo down and Natsuo was able to speak what was on his mind. Fuyumi is probably the person he has….I don’t want to use the word fondness….that implies that he cares about her, and honestly, I still want to believe that despite his abusive nature, he can at least spare some care for his daughter. I don’t know what word to use, but he lets her have dinners and convinces him to bring his interns over. He’s also trying to show Shouto that he can be a better hero, one he can be proud of. And I understand that this is part of his atonement, but it does not arouse sympathy out of me. His interaction with Hawks is interesting. He’s rude and impatient and wants for him to get to the point. However, he did not blow up when Hawks gave him a major burn on live television. Although, in later chapters, he lets Hawks give him information and it’s good he allowed this because it was so crucial.

Katsuki is different from Endeavor in that he does blow up on people. His personality is, you guessed it, explosive. And I understand that goes with his character. Endeavor is fiery…he is fierce… Shouto is warm and cold. Izuku is full of energy he cannot contain, bouncing off walls verbally and physically. So it makes sense that Katsuki is explosive. However, he yells and threatens and tells people to die. I’ve read a post explaining that him telling people to die is a common thing to say in Japan amongst kids. Perhaps if handled differently for Katsuki, it would be funny when it’s meant to be funny. But anyway, let’s go with his explosive nature. He blows up. He loses his cool so easily and is provoked instantly. He treats people like dirt, not gonna lie. I want to believe he’s getting better. But I can’t see it. It’s so hard for me to see it. Blowing up on people that see him as a friend, blowing up on Izuku, blowing up on his classmates. Constantly telling Shouto they are NOT friends even though Shouto thinks they are. I see he has not yelled at Momo, which is good, because if he were to do it, I would be out for blood. He’s not horrible to Kirishima, and he’s getting better? Like that bit where Kirishima was insecure and he told him he was strong, that was nice. I wish he would be that way with other people, too. The way he wanted to fight all the kids during the provisional license remedial course was something. And that line he said to the leader of the kids felt hollow, but at least he stopped yelling at the kids. He’s also not 100% insensitive, because he at least listened to Shouto when he said there’s other ways of reaching out to children that DON’T involve violence, and he thought back to when Shouto told Izuku about how he was abused. He is learning to cooperate, which is something I appreciate, although he is not perfect, as we saw when he joined the 1A band (thanks Sero). I would like for him to realize, though, that his behavior needs improvement. Or at least he needs to stop yelling at everyone and should direct this anger towards villains.

So really Katsuki doesn’t give a damn about public image, but Endeavor does. Still, both are rude and brash and flaunt their power in front of other people. Endeavor literally does this simply by having his fire mask, mustache, and beard all the time when he is out.

I hope this is enough/satisfactory for you, anon. I tried to stay objective, but again that was difficult given how much I hate both characters. If anyone wants to add on, feel free because I’m sure I missed something, but this is what I was able to put together.

#uhhh idk how to even tag this but i will go with these #anti bakugou #anti endeavor #anonymous #asks #bc im not praising them im pointing out how they treat people #and it's not good treatment #cw abuse #cw domestic abuse #cw child abuse #cw bullying #Anonymous #bnha character analysis #i guess #bnha spoilers

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caps-lockdown · 5 years

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Operation: Man Flu Part Two

Thank you to everyone for such kind comments and reblogs on my first part of this new series, it’s been so heartwarming hearing how much you guys love this idea! Without further ado here is part two!

This fic is going to jump time a lot, so just make sure to pay attention to the military time. Also the past will be in italic, forgot to put that in the first part. Thanks so much for reading!

Pairings: Steve x Shield Agent Female Reader!

Words: 4,198

SMALL WARNING: There is a couple of crude adult jokes in this chapter, just letting you know. Also mentions of family death in here too.

Ratings/Warnings: I’m going to put hard R here for the whole thing because there’s going to be cussing, mentions of sickness, alcohol consumption, physical fights, mental breakdowns. Jealousy, love triangles (sort of), angst, drama, and lots of crude humor. Just strap in.

Also no Beta so my mistakes are my only thing to claim, I don’t own any characters either, with the exception of the reader, a doctor, and some random characters here and there.

It is in Y/N (Your Name) L/N (Last Name) format. Enjoy!

Part Two

1100 hours

You sat in the secluded darkness of an unused office, slightly away from all of the current noise of quarantine. These men were tap dancing on your last good nerve in soccer cleats. Rubbing your right temple you tore into the wrapper of a protein bar, your stomach sounding like it was trying to demand Han Solo and the wookie be brought to it.

“Easy Jabba, it’s been a long morning.” You pleaded with your stomach, chewing into the bar without mercy. This was the first moment of silence you had truly to yourself since this morning when Steve Rogers had dragged a near dead Tony Stark off the Quinjet and turned your life into pure hell within a matter of hours. It took sheer skill to sneak away from the chaos, but you’d be damned if you let the circumstances keep you from eating anything.

Right as you were about to enjoy another large bite of your semi-decent protein bar however, the office door was flung open and the lights were turned on. Your eyes squinted to adjust to the bright light, a small hiss leaving your lips as you recognized the looming figure standing in the door way.

“Well look at what I found here. Hungry?” Steve’s blue eyes danced with amusement as he looked you over in your current state. You had crumbs all over you, shoved in the corner of the office and hunched in a chair looking nothing short of some kind of Gollum creature. Your eyes slanted into a mock glare.

“Shut it Rogers, it’s been a shit last few hours and I’m out of coffee.” You sighed, standing up from the chair and straightening out your clothes.

“Easy L/W, I understand.” He chuckled, watching you with a smirk while you made your way over to him.

“When are you going to start calling me by my first name?” You huffed, placing a hand on your hip and taking another bite.

“When you start calling me by mine.” Steve said nonchalantly and you nearly choked, bringing up your free hand to hit your chest a few times to help the food continue down your throat.

“That’s different Rogers,” You tried to brush it off as if it were nothing, noticing he now had a smile on his features, clearly trying not to laugh at you. “It’s a respect thing.”

“So I can’t respect you as much as you respect me then?”

The high pitch squeak of annoyance left you as you processed what he said, pushing past him and stalking away in response. His loud laugh carried through the hallway and although you loved hearing it, you didn’t need him throwing your words from earlier back in your face like that.

~~After the meeting with Dr. Hooper, approximately 0800 hours~~

“Awh hell I knew I should have stayed in bed today.” Sam muttered angrily as he dramatically leaned back in his chair.

“It’s not like Tony thought to get sick Sam, cut the guy a break.”

“Oh I’ll cut something alright. We had plans! All of us did! I don’t want to spend one of the only three day weekends in the year sicker than a dog Y/N!”

“Stop being so dramatic Wilson, we’re in the same boat.” Bucky countered, only earning another glare from Sam.

“I’m sorry I must have forgotten the part where Hooper said that super soldiers, demi gods, and hell even BANNER would all be affected differently and most likely WOULDN’T have the same symptoms or nearly the same intensity!” Sam spat, Clint looking at him with a sad expression. You had to feel sorry for them, knowing what fate awaited them was just down the hall.

They had turned the large conference hall into a quarantined area. The hospital beds and some of the machines had been moved from the small medical bay that Stark Tower had, and by the sounds of Tony’s sneezing fits you’d confirm he was moved in and as comfortable as he could be. It was also easier to lock down this whole floor as opposed to anywhere else, as it didn’t have nearly as much traffic as other parts of the tower.

“Hey at least you don’t have to worry about dropping like a fly within the next couple hours!” Bucky barked back, you looking to Steve with an annoyed expression.

Doctor Hooper had informed your group that those exposed to Tony the longest would be the first to develop symptoms, but due to their “special” genetics she couldn’t tell them exactly what they would experience. Clint and Sam were obviously the most upset, being the fact that even with the arc reactor in place Tony seemed to be going through absolute hell. At least you didn’t have to worry about spending the weekend sick or stuck with these guys.

Or so you thought.

“Don’t worry Buck, I’ll be here to make sure you all survive the weekend.” Steve stated calmly and you bit back a swoon. He was always so collected in dire situations, always kept his head on his shoulders. You envied that in a lot of ways, your temper usually getting the better of you.

“Oh great. You’ll look terrible in a Nurse’s uniform Rogers.” Bucky scoffed, folding his arms over his chest as the table chuckled in response.

“I don’t know, I think he has great legs. Wouldn’t you agree Y/N?” Sam looked at you pointedly, your face heating up as you directed your gaze back to the table top in embarrassment.

“I hope you croak Wilson.” You muttered darkly to him, choosing to ignore his snicker and Steve’s raised eyebrow in your direction.

“Nah you like me too much but hey that gives me an idea! Why doesn’t Y/N help us out this weekend? She doesn’t have to worry about catching anything and she makes really good chicken noodle soup!”

You had never given murder much thought until this very moment in time. Your eyebrows shot up to your scalp as everyone started agreeing with him.

“I don’t think so guys…I like all of you…but um…ah…” You started to stammer, Steve’s laughter ringing in your ears as you slowly brought your gaze to his.

“Not up to the challenge L/N? You don’t want to spend the whole weekend with me?”

“It’s not that at all!” You quickly interjected, letting out a deep sigh and staring back at the table. You said that too fast, you knew for sure he would probably think you’re a creep. Composing yourself, you took your turn looking around at the other faces that made up the table.

“I don’t know if I can handle seeing all of you sick. You’re the Avengers. You save the world sometimes on a daily basis. I’m just a nobody. I don’t have any experience in the medical field, I don’t like blood…” You trailed off, ignoring Sam clucking his tongue at you in disagreement.

“Come on Y/N, you’re not a nobody.”

“Sam I’m literally on a team of agents who are called ghosts.”

“Yea well you’re our favorite ghost!” Bucky tried, earning a small half smile from you in response.

“We respect you a lot here.” Steve’s words caused your heartstrings to bow out and his blue eyes just seemed to suck you in.

“So I can’t respect you as much as you respect me then?” You raised an eyebrow as Steve’s face fell just as you continued,

“What if something happens? What if you don’t get better? What if one of you doesn’t…make it? You can’t ask me to be there for that Rogers. After all, you will probably get sick too.”

“Pepper is going to help out too when she can, and we have Doctor Hooper until late tonight. It’s only a few days and a few sick guys, how awful could it be?” Sam pleaded as he gave you giant puppy dog eyes and you only had to look at him briefly to lose all of your resolve.

1130

Turns out it could be pretty damn awful.

It didn’t take long for the sickness to start claiming victims. Clint dropped first with a one hundred and two degree fever about ten a.m. Bruce had a coughing fit that nearly knocked him out at ten forty-five. It was spreading fast, and you couldn’t keep up with it.

“Y/N I need you to keep calm. We’re going to be alright.” Steve uttered as you watched Doctor Hooper and the couple nurses run tests on Clint, the only noise that could be heard was Tony heaving his guts up a few beds down.

“How can you be so damn sure Rogers? Aren’t you worried for when it hits you?”

“I’ll worry when the time comes. Isn’t going to help them or anyone else if I start now.”

“You are such a damn boy scout.” You scoffed, looking at him with both respect and exasperation.

“So I’ve been told.” He shrugged and you could see why women fell all over him. He was always in control of a situation. It was maddening how he could even find a way to calm you down in all of this mess. You didn’t know if you wanted to smack him or kiss him.

“Steve! Y/N!” Sam’s voice brought you back to earth and quickly your day went from bad to worse as you ran to help him with Bucky, who looked like he had been hit by a truck.

“Can’t..breathe…throat…burning...”

“Jesus Barnes you sound like you just finished giving a cheese grater a blow job.” You said matter of factly, causing both Sam and Steve to look at you with a shocked expression before Sam dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“Y/N where did that come from?” Bucky managed to get out when you sat him on the bed next to Tony, pouring out some nasty looking throat coating medicine into a small plastic shot glass.

“Y/N has always been like this, you clowns just never get to see this side of her.” Sam countered as Bucky took to drinking the dark purple colored liquid, his face contorting in disgust as he swallowed it.

“This….this is disgusting!”

“Sorry Bucky, I should have warned you.” You apologized, looking over to a sedated Clint and sighing at the finally lowered body temperature.

“It’s ok at least you’re pretty. If Stevie here had made me drink that I would have spat it out in his face.”

“Gee thanks buddy.” Steve rolled his eyes as you let out a giggle.

“Don’t mention it pal.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” Steve stated plainly before leaving to talk with the Doctor about Tony, who hadn’t seem to be letting up on purging his whole body of everything he had eaten in the last five years. Your eyes wandered over to Bruce, who was sitting upright in his bed and reading a novel. Besides the coughing fit he had been pretty much fine, his body temperature only slightly higher than normal. They had hooked him up to an I.V just to be on the safe side.

Thor, although completely fine, had gone ahead and put himself in the bed next to Clint, leaving a vacant bed in between Bruce and Bucky. Then there was the empty one on the other side of Tony, which you had no doubt was for Steve, whenever he would finally fall ill. Within a mere five hours, three of The Earth’s Mightiest Heroes had gotten sick with varying symptoms. You found yourself hoping no one would decide to try for world domination this weekend. Your world currently didn’t have the man power to stop it.

This was going to be a long weekend.

1500

“Y/N, can you bring me some more water?” You heard Tony ask for the tenth time in the past thirty minutes.

“Can’t Rogers bring it to you? I’m fluffing Bucky’s pillows.” Again. You huffed as you attempted to readjust the blue plaid covered pillows you specifically brought from Bucky’s room for his bed. You had never even considered going in to the winter soldier’s room prior to the request, but found it surprisingly clean and organized for a guy who had his personality.

“But I want you to do it!” Tony whined, you shooting a glare in his direction.

“Listen mister. You have three perfectly good and mostly full water bottles right there on your table. Why do you need a new one?”

“They aren’t cold anymore. And I need cold water.” You let out another exasperated sigh as he looked at you innocently, “Doc’s orders.”

“Ohmygod. Hang on a second then.” You finished Bucky’s request and watched him lay back down on his bed, nodding in appreciation.

“Thanks sweetheart, you’re the best.” You smiled at Bucky before running over to the refrigerator Steve had set up in one of the offices nearby, grabbing a couple water bottles and walking back out into the hallway.

“Here Stark, don’t choke.” Your voice dripped with sarcasm as you placed the bottles on the small table next to his bed. He only gave out a muffled grunt in response bringing the bottle to his lips and chugging half of it.

“Right behind you Doll.” Steve whispered, stepping behind you to grab the half empty bottles, his hand touching your shoulder while he used his other to collect them.

Your breath caught in your throat as your senses were assaulted by his touch and amazing scent. Goosebumps appeared on the back of your neck and you were certain your face was the shade of a tomato. You were completely frozen, your face distant and you didn’t notice Sam’s huge shit eating grin while he stood on the opposite side of Tony’s bed. You were certain this was the first time you had been this close, let alone having the blonde touch you in a way that wasn’t the typical “Good Job” handshake or short pat on the back after a mission.

“I’m going to put these in the fridge so Tony can have them later.” Steve removed his hand from your shoulder and immediately you felt saddened from the loss of warmth from him.

“Uh,…ya…you…youdothatRogers.” You stuttered watching him walk away, Sam shaking his head. Tony spared no time rolling his head up to look at you and calling you out.

“Was that even English Y/N? Sure you’re not coming down with something?”

“She has a different kind of sickness Tony,” Sam cut in, Tony rolling his head to give him his attention. “Don’t worry, nothing a shot of penis-ilin won’t cure. I’m sure Ste..”

“You finish that sentence and I will end you Wilson.” The icy look you had given was enough to send Sam backing away in fear, something you were quite proud of.

“Yes ma’am.”

“You know somethin? I see it now..” Tony mused, your eyes darting to his in a mix of embarrassment and anger. Looking for a way out, you were more than ecstatic to hear Thor mention something about stomach pains.

“I’m on it!” You exclaimed far too happily, rushing away from Tony’s bedside, a very confused Steve returning to stand at the foot of the bed.

“Did I miss something? L/W was off like a bullet.”

“My dear Capsicle, I’d wager you’ve missed a great deal.” Tony coughed out, Bucky nodding to their bewildered friend.

1900

”Well I wouldn’t have to puke if I didn’t have to keep looking at your ugly mug!”

“You want to say that again rich boy? Sick or not I can still kick your ass!”

“Ladies please, you’re both pretty. Can we stop this childish fighting for two seconds?” You interrupted Tony’s and Bucky’s arguing, which they had been doing off and on since Bucky had taken the bed next to him.

“Yea guys, Y/N made us soup the least you could is be a little appreciative. She doesn’t have to help either of your sorry asses. You’re sick, not dead.” Sam tried, beaming over at you from across the sick Stark’s bed.

“Sam’s right. Let ME take the high road and apologize for my terrible behavior.” Tony puffed his chest out proudly before coughing up a lung, earning a grimace from everyone in attendance.

“You are high Stark, those meds they have you are potent. But we can agree that your behavior has been a thorn in my side all day.” Bucky shot back, Tony sticking his tongue out at the other brunette.

“Do you two want soup or not?” You asked the two squabblers before they could get into another row. Instantly the two idiots shut up and looked at you expectedly. Giggling to yourself at how fast you were able to silence them with the promise of food, you made a mental note for later. Should the need arise again that is.

You passed out the paper bowls you had been carrying to the three men. Your laughter escaped you, Sam going to town on his portion like he had been starving all day.

“Man I love this soup!” Sam exclaimed as he dug in, Tony and Bucky giving mumbled thanks and appreciative groans as they took on their soup. You looked on as Steve passed out bowls to Clint, Bruce, and Thor.

“Make sure Clint doesn’t fall asleep into his bowl and drown Rogers!” You called out, causing Clint to frown at you.

“I’m not that drowsy!” The archer shouted back crankily.

“Please. You fell asleep while the nurse was drawing your blood.” You quipped, Clint’s eyes shooting down into his paper soup bowl guiltily.

“Okay…I might be a bit tired.”

“Uh huh.” Rogers nodded as he handed him a spoon, watching him carefully as he began to eat.

“This soup really is amazing Y/N.” Thor complimented, causing a large smile to break over your face.

“Thank you Thor, I’m glad you like it. My mom used to make it for me when I was sick, and my Grams used to make it for her. My Grams taught me everything I know about cooking.”

“Lucky for us.” Bruce commented and the rest of the men eagerly agreed.

A brief moment of sadness hit you as you recalled fond memories of your Grams in the kitchen. She often times would set you up on the counter top so you could watch her work. You usually made a huge mess while trying to “help” but your Grams never got mad at you. Not once. Your mind slipped away from you as you wandered your way back into the office that was slowly becoming cluttered. Medicine bottles, water bottles, a refrigerator, and now a giant pot that had been put on a portable induction cook top to keep the soup warm sat on the desk.

“Do you miss her?” You blinked as Steve walked into the office, looking at you closely as you poured two more bowls of soup.

“Every day Rogers. She was my person, someone who helped shaped who I am. I honestly feel like part of me is missing some days. If she could hear some of the stories I have from working here…” You chuckled as you grabbed a couple spoons, handing a bowl to Steve before taking a seat in one of the many chairs strewn about.

“I bet you probably have some real dirt on us.” The blonde smirked at you while he took a seat in the vacant chair next to you.

“Don’t worry Rogers, you’re safe. Actually my Grams was a huge fan of yours.”

“Really?” He mumbled, slurping into his soup which caused you to giggle.

“Oh yea. Pretty sure she was the president of your fan club. She was always telling me “Y/N, why don’t you find a nice wholesome man like Steve Rogers to date? I’m not getting any younger.” Both of you chuckled at the memory, the soup warming your soul as you started eating.

“Well I’m sorry I never got to meet her.”

“You say that now, but if you had I doubt a crow bar and seventeen firemen could have detached her from you. She always thought you were so handsome.” He nudged your shoulder.

“Quit it L/N I’m blushing.”

“I mean she isn’t wrong but still..” The sentence fell out of your mouth before you could think about it. He had stopped chewing and was staring at you with a soft expression, his beautiful blue eyes intently focused on yours.

“What was that?”

“Nothing at all!” You hurriedly shoved the last few spoonfuls of soup into your mouth to keep anything else from coming out and quickly stood, making a bee line to throw away your paper bowl and rushing out to check on the sick crew. Steve only stared down into his bowl and chuckled, wheels beginning to turn.

2100

“Alright, you two are on your own.” Doctor Hooper’s hand shook yours as you left the hall.

“We really can’t thank you enough for staying and helping as much as you could. I hope your family can understand, please send them my apologies for keeping you from them today.” Walking to the elevator with her, you couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible for the doctor losing precious time with them.

“Oh it’s nothing Y/N, my daughter would kill me herself if anything happened to this bunch. She’s the one who threatened to disown me if I didn’t take the job when Stark offered it. But Pepper should be here tomorrow, so she can handle her husband then. They’ve all been given sedatives to help them sleep so you should be free of them until morning.” The two of you looked back where the men were passed out, your eyes rolling hearing the loud snores that echoed after them.

“God willing Doctor Hooper. I’m going to need to put myself in a quarantine away from them for a few days when this is all over.” She laughed, the three of you stepping inside.

“We’ll manage the best we can Doc.” The super soldier smiled, pulling you into a side hug that left you dizzy.

“I know you will, you two make a great team.” Her knowing smirk ruffled you a bit as you stepped off to your floor leading to your room, jumping slightly when you noticed the large man next to you had stepped off as well.

“Goodnight you two. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” The Doctor called out as the doors shut, heat rushing to your face as you tried to conceal your embarrassment by looking at the wall opposite the tall blonde drink of water.

“I just wanted to make sure you got to your room okay Doll, I’m sorry she has the wrong idea.”

“No, no it’s totally fine! I appreciate that.” You waved dismissively, “Besides I know we don’t know each other that well, and that I’m not someone that someone like you would consider dating. Which again I totally understand and don’t blame you at all and did I mention how much I love this color of paint?” You rambled on, silently counting the number of doors until you would reach your room and shut yourself away forever. Twelve.

“Don’t sell yourself short Y/N. I think you’re a wonderful person.” His bright smile was disarming so you began to study the floor in great detail.

Eight

“In fact, anyone that manages to sweep you off your feet will be really lucky to have you.” Steve’s compliment had you internally screaming, your pace picking up a little.

Five

“That’s going to be a bit difficult Rogers. I’m pretty sure the guy I like wouldn’t know I do even if I stood right in front of him with a giant flag that proclaimed my feelings in huge red, white, and blue letters.”

Three

“I can only hope he comes around and realizes how special you are.” Steve gave you a pat on the shoulder and you found yourself wanting to hit your head against a wall. Oh sweet lord how dense can you be? You thought bitterly as you came to stand in front of your door.

“Well this is me. Thanks for walking me back.” You forced a smile, disappointment bubbling inside you and you wanted nothing more than to throw yourself onto your bed dramatically and cry until your lungs gave out.

“Not a problem at all. Thanks for all of your help today. And in case I don’t say it, thanks for tomorrow and Sunday too.” Your heart broke as he gave you another dazzling smile, you opening your door and looking at him for the final time that night.

“Goodnight Rogers. Sleep well.” It took everything in you to shut the door, not wanting to hear anything else from your crush that would just end up crushing you further.

“Goodnight Y/N.” Steve sighed, turning to head back to the elevator so he could keep an eye on everyone.

It wasn’t until he was headed back down the hallway towards the sick and still snoring men when your words about waving a flag containing your feelings hit him like a ton of bricks, causing him to stop dead in his tracks.

“Son of a…”

Tag List (I couldn’t find all of the recent people for some reason so just shoot me an ask or comment here!): @kaytizzle @cuffski @giggleberts

#steve rodgers x reader #the avengers #marvel #fanfic #captain america

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cnrothtrek · 6 years

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The Misrepresentation of Mental Disability in Star Trek: Discovery

Season two of Star Trek: Discovery has teased us for half a season with Spock having vague mental health issues and Starfleet being a big dick about his experience. In episode 8, “If Memory Serves,” we finally get an explanation for Spock’s strange behavior and see what happened when he escaped the psychiatric hospital. It is... infuriating.

The set up was bad enough, with its dangerous mentally ill person and he can’t really be mentally ill because he’s a nice person, with the gross violations of Spock’s rights and Amanda’s dreadful comment about how “‘emotional disturbance’ is code for ‘psychosis.’” It’s honestly a clusterfuck of misused terminology and harmful tropes. With episode 8 we’ve added the mental illness fake-out and when modern medicine fails try magic (telepathy), as well as another iteration of the INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS myth that psychiatric hospitals are scary places that might lock you up against your will and threaten your safety.

I can’t help but think back to the season one arc of the the only major character who had a psychiatric diagnosis last season... who also turned out to be a mental illness fake-out and was insta-cured by sci-fi magic. Looking back at this parallel, we see that the dreadful bait-and-switch representation of mental illness in season two was also used in season one, indicating that Star Trek: Discovery is not quite as progressive and inclusive as it purports itself to be.

So let’s talk about Tyler’s PTSD.

The misrepresentation of Tyler’s symptoms

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (DSM-5), in order to receive a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder a person must experience a traumatic event that meets specific criteria (such as a life-threatening event or witnessing violence). Then, for AT LEAST A MONTH after the event, someone must experience symptoms from ALL FOUR of the following categories:

Intrusion (e.g. flashbacks or nightmares)

Avoidance (staying away from things that remind the person of the event, avoiding thoughts or feelings related to event)

Arousal and reactivity (hyper aware of surroundings, exaggerated startle response, explosive unprovoked outbursts of anger, feeling on edge, sleep disturbance)

Mood and cognition (e.g. beliefs that the trauma was one’s own fault or that they’ll never be safe again, memory disruption, loss of interest in activities or ability to feel pleasure).

Although it’s clear Tyler and Voq experienced multiple traumatic events, and we see Tyler having intrusive flashbacks and nightmares—although they were mostly used as a plot device to conveniently convey backstory and foreshadow a major plot twist—we didn’t see clear examples of all four symptom groupings. Moreover, the timeline for his symptoms isn’t clear, but if we start the clock at his escape from the prison ship, I have doubts that it was a month. (Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.)

Now, I realize that no one directly gave Tyler the diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was Admiral Cornwell who recognized his symptoms as trauma-based and said she had experience treating PTSD from her former medical practice, and she used her training to help talk Tyler through his reaction to seeing L’Rell. Still, viewers were expected to buy into this explanation so that the reveal of Tyler as Voq would be a surprise.

In short, they indicated that Tyler had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but they didn’t seem to do much research into what the symptoms or criteria for that disorder are. They misused terminology and exploited Tyler’s suffering for the sake of the plot. Then, they used a bait-and-switch tactic to reveal that he didn’t actually have a real-world psychiatric disorder after all, but just some fantastical sleeper agent side effects. They sold viewers on an inaccurate but compassionate representation of mental illness, then ripped that representation away from us and laughed about it all the way to the bank.

The problematic way Starfleet (and the show) handles officers with mental disorders

Tyler is suffering in season one. Clearly, he wants help, but he’s afraid that if he talks to a doctor he’ll be relieved of duty. He confides somewhat in Michael, but swears to her that he’ll get help if it becomes too much for him to handle. We later follow him on a mission to retrieve a data core with a worker bee, where seeing Klingon bodies triggers a flashback and he almost blows the mission. We, the audience, are supposed to take this as a sign that something is very wrong with Tyler and he isn’t fit for duty.

But here’s the thing: The way this story is told is discriminatory and harmful. If Starfleet were as compassionate and utopian as we’re supposed to believe, then they wouldn’t take away the thing that helps Tyler cope and stay active. Working is good for him; taking him off duty—particularly on a ship that for some stupid reason doesn’t have even one mental health professional on staff—would mean... what? What would he do to fill his time? When someone is suffering from trauma symptoms, too much spare time can be counterproductive. It can in fact be very triggering, opening up mental space for the trauma symptoms to fill. It would likely also add to Tyler’s sense of being an outsider on Discovery. His comrades are all working, but he is not.

Tyler doesn’t need to be relieved of duty. What he needs is for his commanding officer to accommodate his disability.

Out of universe, this is important because PTSD is very stigmatized in the US military, and many people fear losing security clearances or even being discharged because of such a diagnosis. The truth is that the stigma of diagnosis is much more dangerous than the diagnosis itself. Avoiding help can lead to worsening of symptoms and unexplained behaviors (such as snapping at a at a superior or avoiding certain triggering situations) that could have been excused and perhaps accommodated by having a diagnosis on record. Tyler’s situation has real world implications, and the way the show undercuts him over and over is downright harmful to real people living with this condition.

Let’s look at his mission to retrieve the data core. Now, there was really no good in-universe reason for him to be on that worker bee. He was a security officer, not a technician. Why send him instead of, say, Owosekun? The answer is that the plot demanded it. The mission was an excuse for Tyler to have another flashback, and the viewers were supposed to believe that he was messed up and unfit for duty.

But let’s say he was the ideal person for that mission. If Tyler had been receiving treatment, his doctor could write up a list of special needs he has and some accommodations Lorca could make to help him. Lorca would be legally required to fulfill those accommodations as best he could. It is not Tyler’s responsibility to bear all the weight and consequences of his disability; as the ones with more power and privilege, it is Starfleet’s job to accommodate him. So, maybe one of those accommodations could be that he doesn’t go on missions alone. If something triggers him, another officer is there to provide support.

How hard would that be to do? Answer: it’s not. Not at all. Accommodations are usually not hard to provide, but refusing to make accommodations is ableist. Unfortunately, Starfleet—the beacon of hope and progressiveness in science fiction—is unwilling to make accommodations for Ash Tyler and other personnel suffering from PTSD. They’d rather pull them from duty and put them out of sight so they won’t inconvenience anyone.

Instead of giving viewers an example of how the crew came together to support Tyler as a person suffering from trauma-based symptoms, the writers chose to put the burden of Tyler’s suffering squarely on his shoulders. With this choice, they heavily implied that people with PTSD are not capable of contributing to Starfleet and must be set aside until they’re “better.” THIS IS HARMFUL REPRESENTATION.

As someone who has personally experienced multiple mental disabilities, two of which are chronic and a third of which is trauma-based, it makes me wonder... would I have a place in Starfleet? Based on what I’ve seen in Star Trek: Discovery, my answer is no. I am not welcome to contribute to their so-called utopia.

Not at all.

If you want to support positive representations of mental disability in Star Trek, please tell them. Share this blog post on Twitter and tag their official accounts, or just tweet them your own thoughts about how their portrayals of psychiatric symptoms and healthcare are hurtful to you or your loved ones. If enough fans give them constructive feedback about this issue, they’ll listen. Thank you. Good health and stay safe.

#star trek discovery #dsc spoilers #mental illness #mental health stigma #representation matters #mental health #mental health in media #ash tyler #voq #spock

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patheticphallacy · 5 years

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This is going to be a really difficult introduction to my wrap up.

Unfortunately, on September 18th my dad passed away. He was only 50 years old. I won’t go into details because of how personal it is, but he was in hospital a majority of the month before he passed. I’ve taken a year suspension from University for the time being.

It has been a really difficult time for myself and my family. I’ve turned a lot to books and blogging to offer a way to occupy my mind which is why so many things still seem to be coming out, but I cannot say that this will hold up after the funeral.

As I schedule so many posts, a lot of what came out this month has been written since around mid August and I did not find the time to stop the University posts before they were released. I won’t be deleting them.

I hope you’ll all understand.

THINGS I’VE READ

An Inspector Calls by J.B. Priestley– My sister gave me her copy she used for her GCSE’s. Such a great play with revelation after revelation, left me on the edge of my seat. While I knew the core plot twist, I didn’t predict that ending.

Mob Psycho 100 Volume 1 by One– This was kind of meh. It’s one of my best friend’s favourites, so I’ll carry it on eventually, but I don’t really feel the urge to pick volume two up just yet. I will say I like how the anime tackles the same events in a different order to save major revelations for backstory– that was really interesting to pick up on.

I Call Upon Thee by Ania Ahlborn– I really didn’t like this! Lacklustre and very cliched, feel like it doesn’t really offer anything other than annoying ending and characters who go through absolutely no development at all.

Kissing Tolstoy by Penny Reid– An OK romance that actually has discussions surrounding reading and books that don’t feel forced. I found this easy to read even though I’ve never read any Russian Lit, and I actually want to read it more now. Like that it discusses age gaps and issues of the power dynamic too.

Seven Tears at High Tide by C.B. Lee– Finally finished this one, and it only took me 3 months. A very cute and heartwarming story about a boy who makes a wish and falls in love with a Selkie. Does get ridiculous at the end, I must say, but I was happy with the payoff.

The Tea Dragon Society by Katie O’Neill– Katie O’Neill creates such amazing narratives that have wonderful messages about society and being true to yourself and your wishes, pursuing something that you love and encouraging others to do the same.

Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin– How can I ever trust a single man or old person after this book? Tell me.

Please Undo This Hurt by Seth Dickinson– Don’t really rate this short story. It bored me and I hated the main characters, not even in a good way. Just perpetuates the ‘I can save you from your mental illness’ narrative that is dull and overdone by this point.

My Hero Academia Volume 20 by Kohei Horikoshi– Gentle Criminal and La Brava was so boring, the School Festival arc was fabulous, and Endeavor finally got his ass kicked! Yay!

Aphrodite Made Me Do It by Trista Mateer– I have a review of this coming out soon for National Poetry Day in the UK, but if you don’t want to wait, I have a review here!

The Quiet Boy by Nick Antosca– I read this after watching the trailer for Antlers, and I thought it was pretty neat! Very thrilling, although I’m bothered by changes being made in the film that I feel could detract from having Julia as one of the main characters in the film.

I Am Not Your Final Girl by Claire C. Holland– A collection of poetry centring around fictional women from horror films, exploring their empowerment and agency in a genre and a wider culture and society that seems willing to beat them down until they break.

Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink– I have a review of this linked later this post! Full of body horror and emotional trauma, this is a really solid read great for fans of the podcast and Welcome to Night Vale.

In the Shadow of Spindrift House by Mira Grant– I love this terrible cover! Keep an eye out for my review of this, it’s coming out soon.

The World’s Greatest First Love Volume 1 by Shungiku Nakamura– The publishing elements and the main character were GREAT, but there is prevalent sexual assault in this that is never addressed and is incredibly insensitive in its treatment, so I don’t recommend this manga.

Dead Voices by Katherine Arden– I didn’t enjoy this one as much as Small Spaces, but it’s still really freaky and a great middle grade read. I love that Coco gets her own POV in this, too, and that it doesn’t take stereotypical routes with some of its plotlines.

No One Is Too Small To Make a Difference by Greta Thunberg– This is a collection of speeches Greta Thunberg has made addressing climate change, as well as her own position as an advocate for the cause. Moving and a must read, in my opinion. It’s only £3 in Waterstones at the moment for anyone who wants to pick it up!

Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury– A fascinating collection of essays written by Bradbury about his writing process and some of the more popular works he’s published. I honestly felt really inspired and motivated after reading this, I highly recommend it especially for creative writers, but just be warned it is very oriented around the white male experience.

Heartstopper Volume 2 by Alice Oseman– I adore Heartstopper and I love this second volume. Great progression in the relationship between Nick and Charlie, and we’re getting to see more outside of their relationship and into their friendships and family dynamics, too. I still love Tori Spring!

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle– Finally got a hold of the MASSIVE audiobook where Stephen Fry narrates all the Holmes stories, and it honestly made the experience so much more enjoyable. I think Doyle’s skill lies more in shorter fiction than longer fiction, I think there’s less opportunity for… not useless, per se, just unneeded waffling.

Giant Days Volume 9 and 10 by John Allison– These two volumes take place around the tailend of the girl’s second years and follows their accommodation location, the progression (and breakdown) of relationships, and them finally making it to third year intact. I honestly can’t believe there’s only three or four volumes left in this series, its been a constant companion for me since 2016 when I first started and I really don’t want to let it go.

No Touching At All and Even So, I Will Love You Tenderly by Kou Yoneda– Of the ‘older’ manga I’ve read that focus on the relationships between two men, these two are definitely in the ‘recommend’ pile. Other than the beautiful names for the volumes and the artwork being really pretty, I really enjoyed the developing relationships and the conversations had about workplace homophobia and ostracization in Japan, although that wasn’t the main focus. They do include some questionable attitudes towards identification of sexuality– two characters in both volumes are probably bisexual or on that spectrum, but are referred to as straight more than once for liking women and only the man they enter the relationship with. It’s complicated, but nothing in either volumes ever feels targeted or hateful, just lacking education on the nuances of sexuality.

Articles

I found this article about Friends great as it breaks down issues I’ve had with the show for years. I don’t have a lot of attachment to it, honestly, I mostly just put it on in the background, but I think I’ll stop now. I’ve always found the handling of gender and sexuality damaging in Friends, as well as the overwhelming fatphobia.

I really enjoyed looking through this list The Guardian did of the 100 best books of the 21st century. I don’t know why, I’m just a big fan of lists!

Before reading this article, I can honestly tell you I knew nothing about Susan Sontag beyond her name. It’s deconstructing her queerness and how her aversion to accepting her own sexuality ultimately ruled a lot of the work she produced in her life.

God, this article was fascinating. I can’t even tell you what it’s about, really, other than that it’s an interview with Christeene, a punk drag artist who is just really cool, honestly. There are some buttholes for anyone who… wants to avoid butts? Or reading this at work?

There was a massive conversation in August that carried into September regarding the rise in men adopting pseudonyms to get their thriller novels published. This Atlantic article particularly captured the issues I have with men who do this, who are almost trying to fool an audience of women who trust women writers to not approach the suffering of women through a misogynistic lens, as is so common in modern society.

An older article by The New Inquiry, Coming out of the Coffin offers an insight into the fraught relationship between Bram Stoker and Oscar Wilde. A really interesting read, I’m just sad I discovered it 7 years after its release!

THINGS I WATCHED

I don’t do music sections on these wrap ups anymore, so I’ll put this here: the GRAACE cover of ‘Complicated’ by Avril Lavigne completely transforms the song and adds such an amazing depth to it

I decided to binge watch Fleabag and it’s most definitely the best decision I’ve made all year. Fleabag follows the titular woman as she navigates her life as a thirty year old woman whose entire life is in flux, and has been since the death of her mother. There’s a lot I could say about this show, honestly. What really stood out to me was how much I could relate specifically to the emotions Fleabag and her older sister Claire feel in relation to each other, and their grief. Seeing them still come back together even after such a significant loss, their dependency, really gives me strength to get through what I’m experiencing at the moment, so Fleabag has been something I can relate to and look at as hope for a future where I can begin to wrap my head around the terrible things going on around me.

THINGS I POSTED

August Wrap Up

TTT: Books Outside My Comfort Zone

50 Bookish Questions Tag

Music I Enjoyed This Summer

Connie’s Personal 101 Guide For Personal Survival of University

Bookshelf Tour Part 3: TBR & More Manga/Comics

Book Review: I Call Upon Thee by Ania Ahlborn

TTT: Books on my Fall TBR

Book Review: Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink

Bookshelf Tour Part 4: CDs&DVDs

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi.

Goodreads|Twitter|Instagram|Letterboxd

September Wrap Up This is going to be a really difficult introduction to my wrap up. Unfortunately, on September 18th my dad passed away.

#2019 #articles #book review #film #music #reading wrap up #tv

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dontshootmespence · 7 years

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Certainly

A/N: An anon request where Reid gets custody of Henry and Michael, after “something happens to JJ and Will.” Sad was really the only way this request would work. Sorry >.< AU Season 12, no jail arc. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @lukeassmanalvez @iammostdefinitelyonfire26

----

As Spencer ran into the emergency room, his heart pounded inside his chest. This couldn’t possibly be happening. He was living in a nightmare with no ability to wake up. Emily had called him from the car, tears garbling her speech as she told him that JJ and Will had been in a head-on car collision on the way home from a date. “What?” He screamed, jumping out of bed and pulling on his clothes as he stumbled out of the door, still talking to Emily. “What happened? Are they okay? Emily, are they going to be okay? Please! Tell me they’re going to be okay!”

His voice caught in his throat as he sped toward the hospital, not caring that a cop came up behind him; he ignored him until he got to the hospital and the officer called after him. “Look, arrest me later,” Spencer said as he ran inside. “I can’t be bothered right now.”

Once he found Emily and the rest of the team, he took in their defeated faces and knew - he just knew. “No,” he breathed, his eyes spilling over with tears as he crumpled like a piece of paper onto the floor. “What happened?” How could this be real?

“Drunk driver,” Luke said flatly, not making eye contact with anyone as he stared down the hallway toward the operating room where he’d watched them both flatline. “Hit them head on. They both made it here, but...” Nothing else needed to or could be said. The defeated members of the BAU sat motionless in the middle of the hospital. From the silence, Garcia choked out a sob and fell to Spencer’s side on the floor, and he joined her, his cries echoing throughout the extensive emergency room, which somehow, right now, seemed so small.

----

“Jennifer and Will?” The surgeon asked, calling for loved ones.

As they looked up, nearly all were overtaken again in a wave of emotions as they took in the sight of him covered in blood, some dried and caked to his scrubs, some new and still dripping downward. Spencer was the first to stand up; he was numb and autopilot was taking over. “Yes?”

“I am truly sorry for your loss,” he said. Surgeons had to lose people on the table all the time, but by the look on his face, the BAU could tell that this hit him differently than any other. “I did all that I could, but there was nothing I could do. The bleeding was too extensive. Again...I’m so sorry.”

Tara punched the seat as she stood up and walked toward the opposite end of the room. Garcia openly sobbed again, after feeling like there were no more tears left. Luke, Rossi and Stephen couldn’t move. And Emily, who had stood for the surgeon, sank back into her seat. Although they all knew, they’d been secretly hoping that this was all a big mistake and that JJ and Will would emerge from somewhere safe, unscathed and smiling. But they were gone. That’s when it hit Spencer. “Oh my god,” he said, his hand coming up to cover his mouth.

“What is it?” Emily asked.

Spencer’s heart dropped. “How are we supposed to tell Henry and Michael? What happens to them?”

----

While Emily, Luke, Tara, Rossi and Stephen filled out every piece of paper imaginable for the release of JJ and Will into their custody, Spencer and Garcia took it upon themselves, as Henry and Michael’s godparents, to tell the two young boys what happened.

Before walking up to their apartment, where the nanny was currently with them, Spencer threw up outside. “How are we supposed to do this?” He asked Garcia. “They’re so little.”

Garcia grabbed his hand and they steadied themselves before walking in. The nanny collapsed into tears. The boys were asleep, so Spencer and Garcia had a moment to control themselves before they arrived. “Uncle Spencer? Aunt Penelope?” Henry asked sleepily. “What are you doing here?”

The next few moments went by in a blur. Michael, at barely two, wasn’t old enough to comprehend what either of his godparents were saying, but Henry was a different story. “Was it a case?” He sniffled.

“No,” Spencer replied, hating himself for being the messenger. “It was a drunk driver. He hit your Mommy and Daddy and they were hurt too badly for the doctors to do anything. I’m so sorry, Henry.”

Spencer’s heart ripped open at Henry’s cries. The last time he’d heard him cry was as a toddler when he wanted a toy he couldn’t have. Hearing him cry like this, knowing there was nothing he could do to make it stop, made Spencer freeze in place, his arms grasping ever tighter around his godson’s body. “I’m so, so sorry, Henry.”

As he picked up Henry, and Garcia held Michael, Spencer stared into nothingness. He knew where he was. He knew what had happened. But truly, nothing felt real.

----

In the following days, Henry said nothing to anyone - anyone except Michael. He kept telling him Mommy and Daddy were gone but that he would never be alone because Henry would never leave him. While Emily and Rossi took care of the funeral arrangements, Spencer and Garcia took care of Henry and Michael.

When the day of the funeral came, Henry never left Spencer’s side and Michael hung onto Garcia as if his life depended on it. The previous days had ripped all tears from their eyes; they were too tired to summon anymore, and instead stared blankly at their caskets as they were lowered into the ground. Henry blew them a kiss and said bye-bye before looking up at his Uncle. “Where do Michael and I go now?” He asked. “All of our grandparents are gone.” Even JJ’s mother had passed recently from a random heart attack. The boys didn’t have any blood relatives left.

“I don’t know,” Spencer said honestly. “But I promise I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.”

----

Despite their young age, JJ and Will’s line of work taught them that nothing was a given, so they’d written out a will and updated it regularly. “The entirety of our estate is to be split equally between our sons, Henry and Michael LaMontagne,” the man read blankly from the paper. Rossi wanted to scream; this man was reading these words as if this wasn’t the most unfair thing in the world. “In the case of either one of our passing, the remaining parent will maintain custody of both of our children. However, in the event that both of us shall die in the same incident, custody of Henry and Michael LaMontagne will be transferred to their godfather, Spencer Walter Reid, effective immediately.”

Spencer’s head snapped up from the floor. After JJ’s mother had died, she asked if he would take care of the boys in the event that anything happened to them, but honestly he’d forgotten until this moment. “Does that mean we go home with you, Uncle Spencer?”

Life was different now. He had different priorities, and he had a lot to think about, but he wouldn’t let JJ down; Henry and Michael would always remember them as long as he was alive. He swallowed hard as he turned to his oldest godson. “Yes, Henry. You and Michael come home with me now.”

Later that night, when the boys were safe and sound in his apartment, he had a sobbing breakdown, tears staining the sheets and sticking to his skin. One of his best friends was gone and he was responsible for his godsons.

----

The next day, he did what he never thought he’d do, but then again, he never imagined a life in which is best friend was gone and he was thrust into immediate parenthood. Emily expected it.

“I knew that’s what you’d do,” she said, reluctantly accepting his letter of resignation. “All of us are here to help with the boys whenever you need. I hope you know that.”

Spencer’s lip quivered as he realized how much he’d miss being at work every day, but with both parents gone, they needed to have some kind of consistency, and he’d been offered various teaching positions throughout his career, so he took George Washington University up their offer. It would allow him to teach classes in the morning, so that he could be home for the boys after school. “I know. They deserve to have someone home with them. After all this, it doesn’t seem fair for me to leave them with the nanny while I come here. I’m always on call if you need me from home though.”

Emily came out from behind her desk and wrapped her arms around her friend. “I’m sure we’ll be calling you, and I promise, I know that a lot is changing right now, but you will never lose any of us.”

If there was one thing Spencer could be sure of in this moment, it was the love of his team. This wasn’t going to be easy, but they would get through it because of that love.

----

Three years later...

“Henry, it’s time to get up!” Spencer screamed from the living room. After gaining official custody of the boys, he bought a small house just a few minutes outside of town, about halfway between the Bureau and the University. As he spun around, hands covered in peanut butter from making lunch for the boys, he smiled softly at the picture of JJ and Will on the mantelpiece. There were pictures all around the house. Michael was already up and eating breakfast, but Henry, approaching his pre-teens at 12 years old, was getting harder to wake up in the mornings. “Henry! You have to go to school!”

Inside, he heard Henry kicking up and down on the bed. “I don’t wanna!”

“Michael, you stay here while I go check on your brother.” The five-year-old kicked happily at the table, eating his cereal without a care in the world. Unlike his brother, he’d been shielded from a lot of what happened with his parents. “Henry, what’s wrong?”

Henry pulled the covers over his head and whined. “I didn’t sleep well. I kept dreaming about Mom and Dad.”

Spencer’s heart dropped. Quickly, he checked through his phone. He could get away with taking the day off, and the boys had had near perfect attendance over the past three years. “How about you, me and your brother take a mental health day and stay home? I’ll let you sleep a little longer, and then we can go to the zoo or something today.”

“Can we get ice cream too?” He asked. He was getting older, but in these moments his voice still sounded so small.

Spencer huffed. “Of course. What would a day off be without ice cream?” He kissed Henry on the forehead and then left him to sleep a little longer, returning to the kitchen where Michael was finished with his breakfast. “Michael, how would you like to take the day off from school today and go to the zoo with your brother and me?”

“Can we!?” He asked excitedly.

“Just for today,” Spencer replied.

Michael clapped happily as Spencer called both boys in sick, but then he started to yawn. “Are you getting sleepy?” Spencer asked.

“Yes,” he said. “I thought about Mommy and Daddy last night and then I got sad and I couldn’t get to sleep.”

Picking him up off the floor, he hugged him tight. “How about I tell you a story and then we take a nap for a while before we go to the zoo?”

“Okay,” Michael yawned, leaning into his Uncle’s shoulder as he sat back down on the couch. “Once, there was a lovely and beautiful Queen named Jennifer and an equally brave and righteous King named William. Together, they had two princes named Henry and Michael, and as a family, they ruled the land justly and happily...”

Within minutes, the house was once again asleep under the watchful eyes of JJ and Will - they may have been gone, but they would certainly never be forgotten.

#spencer reid #jennifer jareau #william lamontagne jr #henry lamontagne #michael lamontagne #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #luke alvez #tara lewis #stephen walker #dontshootmespence #certainly

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tomeandflickcorner · 7 years

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OUAT Episode Analysis- The Final Battle

Well, this was an interesting episode. I can’t say I completely hated it. Sure, there were some points I think fell flat, and I certainly would have liked it if it played out differently at parts. But, for what it was, I suppose it was okay.

The episode begins right when Black Fairy’s Dark Curse hits, during the reception after Emma and Killian’s wedding. When the smoke cloud clears, Henry finds himself lying alone on the rooftop, The Storybook lying nearby. As he navigates the town, he discovers he can’t locate his family everywhere. When he sees Archie, he tries to question him about what happened. But he quickly finds out that Archie’s memory has been altered by the new Dark Curse.

Simply put, the Black Fairy has made everyone remaining in Storybrooke believe everything that occurred from the end of S1 onwards never happened. When Henry ate the poisoned turnover, he fell into a coma, but was eventually revived due to Dr. Whale and his staff. But because Emma had begun to believe Henry’s talk about curses and magical lands, she’s lived the past few years in the mental hospital. And the Black Fairy, now going by her original name of Fiona, has instilled herself as the mayor of Storybrooke and Henry’s adoptive mother in place of Regina.

However, Henry has been able to escape the curse’s memory alteration. Either because he was protected by his current Author status or because he’s the Truest Believer. It’s never really stated which. When he seeks out Emma at the mental hospital, he tries to convince her of the truth. But the curse has left Emma convinced that Henry’s story is just a childish fantasy, and she just wants to get better so she can be released from the mental hospital and be a proper mother to her son. Funny thing is, watching this made me think of that crazy theory that some fans were having, that this show would go the route of St. Elsewhere. (For those of you who don’t know, St. Elsewhere was an American medical drama TV show from the 1980s. In the final episode, it’s revealed the entire show was fabricated product of an autistic child’s fantasy.) I can’t help but wonder if A&E were addressing that theory in this episode.

Things get a bit more complicated when the Black Fairy/Fiona interrupts Henry’s meeting with Emma and confiscates The Storybook. After sending Henry away, Fiona, with the aid of Archie, tells Emma that if she really wants to get ‘better,’ she needs to help Henry put an end to his childish delusions. And to do that, she must burn The Storybook. Because doing so would indicate Emma’s acceptance that the stories within the book aren’t true. However, even though she doesn’t remember anything that happened after Henry ate the poisoned turnover, Emma is exceedingly reluctant to destroy The Storybook, as she knows how much it means to Henry, and she doesn’t want to hurt him like that. But Fiona insists that keeping The Storybook around is what’s hurting Henry more, and that he needs to grow up and accept reality.

This is when it gets a bit strange. While Emma and Henry were left behind in Storybrooke, Snow, Charming, Baby Neal, Killian and Regina were all transported to the Enchanted Forest. More specifically Snowing’s old castle. And my CS heart leapt when Killian’s first instinct was to check for Emma. Although, my heart was also breaking for him, considering he must have been having the worst sort of déjà vu. After all, this isn’t the first time he’s woken up in a completely new location and finding Emma wasn’t at his side despite his last memory was of holding her or her hand. This is exactly how the Dark Swan arc began for him. Snow is able to keep it together, and reassures Killian and Regina that they’ll be able to find Emma and Henry.

Even though it was established in 3x17 that only Emma was powerful enough to use mirror magic to look between worlds, Snowing, Regina and Killian are able to look in on the conversation between Emma and Fiona, when Fiona was trying to convince Emma to burn the book. While everyone is clearly agitated over how they can’t get to Emma, (and how the Black Fairy is taunting them as it’s obvious she knows they’re watching), Snow instantly realizes that this was the final battle that they’d been warned about. It wasn’t a physical battle like they thought it was. It was an internal battle for Emma’s soul. The Black Fairy’s goal is to make Emma stop believing in magic. Why? Well, the answer is revealed with Zelena suddenly appears on the scene, along with a group of Munchins. When asked how she got there, Zelena shows them a replica of Jefferson’s old magic hat.

And this is when my inner continuity checker’s ire is raised up another notch. According to Zelena, Jefferson had backup magic hats. Which is just ASININE! I know it’s been ages since we’ve seen Jefferson on the show, but wasn’t the whole point to his storyline the fact that he was stranded in Wonderland because he couldn’t get another magic hat to get him back home to Grace? And then we had Charming’s angst over how the original hat got destroyed, thereby preventing him from using it to get Emma and Snow back from the Enchanted Forest. Now you’re telling me that Jefferson had a collection of backup magic hats this whole time?! No. I’m calling horsebunk on this!

ANYWAY, regardless of that plot inconsistency, Zelena states that, while she wound up back in Oz, the land suddenly began to fall into an apocalyptic state. And when she takes the Nevengers into the Hall of Door Portals with Jefferson’s hat, it’s revealed that Oz has been completely erased from existence. It turns out that, for some reason, all the magical realms in existence were sustained by the belief of the Savior. As long as the Savior is somewhat open to the existence of magic, the magical worlds are safe. But, if Emma completely gives up on the possibility of magic and happy endings, the magical worlds will be destroyed. Which seems like an odd direction to go in. From what I can piece together, the Savior mantle only came into existence when Baby Rumple was born. And, when Mama Black Fairy used the sheers on her baby, thereby separating him from the Savior mantle, other individuals, such as Aladdin and Emma, were magically chosen at random to try and fill in the void. If that’s the correct understanding, that means there were magical realms long before the Savior mantle came into existence. What was keeping the magical lands alive back then? Guys, I think my brain is starting to hurt. I always seem to put more thought into these plotlines than the writers do. I gotta stop that!

Now that they know that Emma’s growing doubt is causing magical lands to blink out of existence, the Nevengers realize they have to reach her to stop her from giving up hope. Killian is quick to step forward, stating he has an idea. But Regina dismisses him without bothering to listen to his idea, on the grounds that magical problems should be her category, and no one else’s. Which was really a jerk move on her part. Just a suggestion, Regina. Maybe you should try listening to an idea before you decide to disregard it. Of course, Killian is not about to let Regina’s snub deter him, so he proceeds to go along with his idea anyway, walking off without a word.

Killian’s idea is soon revealed to be obtaining a magical bean from atop the beanstalk. The very same beanstalk that he and Emma climbed back when they’d first met. This might seem like an odd idea, as it was clear from their last visit atop the beanstalk that the Land of the Giants was decimated, and the bean fields destroyed. But I guess the Black Fairy’s curse had restored the magical lands to their former glory.

Before Killian can start to climb the beanstalk, it’s revealed that Charming saw him leave and decided to follow him. Which leads to a really great Captain Charming mini-adventure, which is probably one of the highlights of the episode. Starting with Killian telling Charming about his first adventure with Emma. He even gives a whole passionate account of how he and Emma both fought for their love, and how they made each other better. Guys, this whole subplot is really beautiful. Killian really leaves no room to question his sheer devotion and love for Emma. And it’s glaringly obvious that he doesn’t care what it takes, he is going to get home to his wife. Charming is clearly moved by Killian’s tangible love for Emma, so he agrees to accompany Killian up the beanstalk.

When they reach the Land of the Giants, we get a bit more Captain Charming epicness. Theorizing there might be a magic bean atop a dining table, Killian insists on being the one to go up and retrieve it. He tells Charming that Emma may be his and Snow’s daughter, but she’s also his wife. (Dare I mention how much I loved it to hear Killian repeatedly refer to Emma as his wife?) To Killian’s surprise, Charming doesn’t argue, and when Killian asks if Charming is really trusting their future to a pirate, Charming is all ‘no, I trust my son.’ Even though Charming is quick to amend his statement by adding in ‘in-law,’ it’s really too late. He’s gone and called Killian his son, which is like the ultimate level of acceptance of a father to his daughter’s husband. And Killian is visibly touched by that acceptance.

Anyway, Charming gives Killian a boost, helping him climb up the table. For a few minutes, Killian navigates his way around the various foodstuffs lying atop the table. Although he does momentarily pause to sniff at a wine cork, identifying it as coming from a bottle of merlot. And with that, I’ve got a new headcanon! I’ve long since suspected Killian was secretly a gourmet. But with this episode, we have evidence that he’s also a wine connoisseur. Killian Jones, you really are a man with a million talents! Like it or not, you really were made to marry into royalty.

Killian eventually locates a potted bean plant, beneath a glass bell jar. Using a cheese knife, he’s able to break through the glass and obtain a single magic bean. But the moment he has one in his possession, he and Charming have to run for it, as they discover the place is being guarded by, not a giant, but a fire-breathing dragon.

Personally, I’m wondering why the writers decided to throw in a dragon. I guess it was possible a dragon would have claimed the place as his home, since dragons can easily reach the Land of Giants due to their flight capabilities. But even so, this seemed quite random to me. Admittedly, I was really kinda hoping we’d see Anton again. I mean, we’re already referencing Emma and Killian’s adventure atop the beanstalk. Why not go all the way and bring Anton back? After all, Anton knows Killian and Charming, and would be more than willing to give up a magic bean if he knew it was to help Emma. Was Jorge Garcia just unavailable at the time they were filming this episode? Apart from that, why a dragon? Was this dragon The Dragon? Or was it supposed to be Lily’s long-lost Dragon Daddy? It’s never really explained. Regardless, Charming and Killian eventually get away from the dragon and begin their journey back down the beanstalk, magic bean in hand. But as they’re climbing down, the beanstalk begins to sway violently. The reason for that is because of what’s going on back in Storybrooke.

Henry, refusing to give up, manages to sneak Emma out of the mental hospital. He takes her to the rooftop where she’d married Killian the day before. While Emma clearly isn’t buying Henry’s claims, when she stands on the platform where she and Killian exchanged vows, she gets flashes of memories of her wedding. While Henry is visibly excited that Emma is starting to remember, Emma is still unsure. Because, as far as she’s been convinced, she’s spent the past few years in a mental hospital. So she doesn’t feel like she can trust her own mind. Emma states that all she wants to go back home to Boston, because if she stays in Storybrooke, she’s only going to be locked up again. While at first Henry seems reluctant to this, he eventually agrees to help Emma escape Storybrooke, coming up with a plan to help her slip away in Archie’s car during the night. When Henry sneaks into Archie’s office to get his car keys, he also retrieves The Storybook. I guess his plan was to sneak it into Emma’s bag so she’d find it when she arrived in Boston, in the hopes that seeing it would help her remember. Unfortunately, he’s intercepted by Fiona/Black Fairy, who somehow got tipped off by an unidentified whistleblower. By this point, Black Fairy realizes that Henry remembers the truth, and attempts to stop him.

Henry, unfortunately, ends up doing something that was pretty stupid in hindsight. Instead of just running off when he had the chance, he decides to stop at the top of a flight of stairs to spout off some ‘you’ll never win’ speech at the Black Fairy. So of course, this gives Black Fairy the chance to magically push him down the stairs, resulting in Henry being taken to the hospital with a broken arm. She then comes up with a story about how Henry’s ‘delusions’ have escalated to the point when he’s a danger to himself. Because security footage isn’t able to detect magic, it looks as if Henry fell down the stairs on his own. Using this, Fiona is able to convince Emma that she needs to burn The Storybook in order to make Henry give up his childhood fantasies, stating that the next time this happens, Henry might end up breaking his neck. So, despite Henry’s pleas, Emma reluctantly consents to Fiona’s request, depositing The Storybook in the hospital’s furnace and allowing it to catch fire.

I don’t think I have to state how watching this moment wasn’t crushing. It’s a really traumatic scene, especially as the camera focuses on the book as it’s destroyed. And, as the book burns, and Emma’s lingering belief starts to die alongside it, the Enchanted Forest itself is also affected, with the beanstalk beginning to fall over, with Charming and Killian still on it.

As the beanstalk falls, Snow is able to sense something happened to Charming through the Power of True Love. With the help of Jasmine, who also came back in this episode, she sets off to locate him. When they reach the spot where the beanstalk fell, they quickly find Killian lying among the debris, miraculously unscathed. Because he’s still a survivor, even now. (We also get a really cute moment of Killian calling Snow ‘mommy,’ which really put a huge smile on my face.) However, they quickly realize Charming is unaccounted for. When Killian voices his intention to stay and help locate Charming, Snow tells him that Emma’s need is greater, and that he needs to go use the magic bean to get to Emma. Killian therefore heads off in agreement, while Snow begins to traverse the fallen beanstalk to locate Charming. She eventually finds Charming lying unconscious, and the episode proceeds to try and trick us into thinking they actually killed him off. But in all seriousness, was anyone actually falling for that? Snow ends up reviving him with a kiss, leading to an admittedly cute moment with them parodying the moment they had after Charming first woke Snow from the Sleeping Curse in the Pilot and 1x22. They then hurry off to rejoin the others, only to find that Killan’s bean was sapped of its magic, and can no longer open a portal. Meaning they’re all still trapped in the dying Enchanted Forest. Although Regina and Evil Queen (who also returns in this episode, as Wish World is also being affected by the current crisis) decide to try and rejuvenate the bean with their combined magic. Because both women are concerned for Henry’s well-being, and want to make sure he’s okay.

Come to think of it, why couldn’t Killian just activate the magic bean the moment he obtained it? Why did he have to report back to the castle where Zelena and Regina were working on finding a solution before using it? I’m just saying, time was off the essence. And, by wasting time in going back to the castle to rejoin the others, Killian really lost his chance to use the magic bean. This could have all been solved right then and there, had Killian used the magic bean the moment he was free from the beanstalk debris. Seeing as how Emma clearly reacted to the sight of the illustration of Killian from his debut episode as she watched the book burning, I’m pretty sure that seeing Killian in person would have been enough to convince Emma of the truth. But I guess A&E either didn’t think of that, or they were too focused on finishing the story their way. There’s something I can say about that, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

Anyway, Fiona doesn’t hesitate to take the fact that The Storybook is destroyed and rub it in Henry’s face. Henry is crushed, but he refuses to accept defeat. So when he seeks out Emma as she’s preparing to leave for Boston, he secretly slips a backup book he made in her bag. He apparently just threw this book together in his hospital bed. And on a personal note, I do notice Henry’s drawing ability has significantly improved since S1. (image credit goes to kissthemgoodbye.net)

Emma eventually finds the backup book when she reaches her old apartment in Boston. While it did give off some nice nostalgia feels, especially when we see that blue star birthday candle still lying on the countertop, it still gives me a bit of a headache. A&E either don’t know how renting apartments work or they simply don’t care. Not only do we get Neal’s crappy squatter den lying empty despite the fact that no one has payed rent on the place since the end of the Neverland arc, now we’re supposed to believe Emma’s Boston apartment has been sitting exactly as she left it four years ago. (Because we actually have a time frame for the show now. Henry was 10 when he showed up at Emma’s doorstop in the Pilot. And in this episode, Henry’s current age has been stated to be 14. So it’s been roughly four years since Emma first set foot in Storybrooke.)

Either way, when Emma finds the backup book and reads what Henry wrote in it, which is a retelling of how she faced down Dragon Maleficent and later woke Henry with TLK, it makes something resonate with Emma. While she still doesn’t remember the truth, she is inspired by the concept of a woman who doesn’t run away from a fight. She later admits that, while she still doesn’t believe that she’s the Savior, the person that Henry wrote about is the person she wants to be. So, she decides to go back to Storybrooke. In doing so, she unknowingly halts the destruction of the Enchanted Forest. And in the nick of time, as the Nevengers and the remaining magical refugees were only seconds from being swallowed up.

Meanwhile, while all this was going on, we got a subplot with Gold and Gideon. Under the guise of Black Fairy’s curse, they were led to believe that Belle walked out on them when Gideon was a baby and hasn’t been seen or heard from since. As such, the accepted story is that Gold raised Gideon alone, with the occasional help from Mayor Fiona. However, Gold is clearly questioning that story, and asks Mayor Fiona to reopen the case about Belle’s disappearance, stating he refuses to believe that Belle would just walk out on them. To placate him, Fiona shows him some photos of Belle in front of the Eiffel Tower and other famous landmarks. She states the police had found those photos ages ago, but she’d wanted to spare Gold the pain of seeing the truth with his own eyes. While this was a clever idea on Black Fairy’s part, she really should have polished up her Photoshop skills. Because even I could tell those photos were faked. However, Gold doesn’t challenge Fiona’s ‘evidence’ and goes on his way. But later on, when Henry enters his shop after Emma left town, he discovers that Gold was concocting a locator spell in the back room, intending to use it on Belle’s copy of Her Handsome Hero in order to find out where she is. Which means Gold had also somehow escaped the memory alteration of the Black Fairy’s curse. Unsurprisingly, Gold states he’s not willing to help Henry get Emma’s hope back, because all he cares about is finding Belle and whatnot. Which makes me wonder why they still even bother asking for his help. Gold’s never going to care about the Nevengers.

When Gold ends up using the locator spell, he tracks Belle down to this random house, where Belle has been reduced to a timid and fearful agoraphobic, who cowers at the mere sight of him. This apparently angers him, as when he comes face-to-face with Fiona again, he completely drops the ignorant act by calling her ‘mother.’ We then get this whole scene with Black Fairy going on about how, with Emma no longer believing and the magical realms wiped out, they can rule the world together, and even find a way to defy the laws of magic, including bringing Neal back to life. Honestly, at this point, I might have been rolling my eyes too loudly to really catch what they were saying. I kept thinking about how this was what Jafar was planning to do in the Wonderland spinoff. In the end, Gold declares that he simply doesn’t trust his mother and subsequently kills her with her own wand. (There was a scene earlier when Black Fairy regained her wand with the help of Gideon, who was still under Heart Control) Personally, I think the Black Fairy’s defeat was bit too easy. Especially since she was supposed to be the Ultimate Big Bad of the entire show. What made it even stranger was how they seemed to be saying that Gold was fulfilling his destiny by killing the Black Fairy or something. But that’s not the case, as Black Fairy separated Gold from his fate when she used the sheers on her baby.

Unfortunately, while Black Fairy’s death helped break the curse, restoring Emma’s memories, and apparently bringing everyone back into Storybrooke, it doesn’t change the fact that Gideon had been commanded via Heart Control to kill Emma. Even though the Black Fairy is dead, her order remains. So we get a final battle scene with Emma and Gideon.

At the same time, Gold and Belle are trying to find Gideon’s heart, so they can try and circumvent the Black Fairy’s order. Although, I feel I should point out that Gold isn’t motivated by the desire to do the right thing and prevent Emma’s death. He’s only interested in saving his son. Gold eventually finds the heart, and, after a really bizarre moment when the Rumple Hallucination from the Dark Swan arc returns to try and talk Gold out of stopping Gideon, it’s determined that Gold can’t Heart Command Gideon to ignore the Black Fairy’s final order. Because Black Fairy placed a failsafe spell on Gideon’s heart to prevent that from happening.

While all this is happening, Emma is crossing blades with Gideon, while the rest of the Nevengers stand and watch. During the whole battle, Emma spouts off what really was a well-spoken speech about what it means to be the Savior- she is a pinnacle of hope and light, inspiring others around her, and how they never strike down an innocent. Ultimately, Emma decides to drop her sword and simply allow Gideon to kill her. Because she knows that killing Gideon would only lead to her heart turning dark again. And once again, my heart breaks for Killian as he reacts to seeing Emma’s willingness to sacrifice herself like that. However, no one can do anything as Gideon stabs Emma with his sword, resulting in light pouring out of Emma’s body.

When the light clears, Emma is lying motionless on the ground. Until Henry revives her with TLK, which is an obvious callback to the S1 finale. And we then see Gideon was de-aged to a baby again, much to the delight of Belle and Gold. The Storybook even rematerializes a short distance away, and when Henry looks at the end, he sees new words have been written there, which explain what happened. Something about how, because Emma and Gold both chose to do the right thing at the same time, it magically fixed everything. Admittedly, I have no idea whatsoever what exactly just happened. It just feels like one great big Deux Ex Machina moment. And that’s something that kinda bothers me. It’s like A&E placed 95% of their effort on writing the buildup, but only 5% on the actual payoff. I really get the feeling that they just wanted to wrap everything up quickly so we’d be getting a nice Happily Ever After ending to this story, because it wasn’t certain that S7 would be greenlighted and they therefore knew that it was possible this would end up being the series finale. While I do understand their situation wasn’t ideal, I still would have liked to see more effort put into this ending.

Don’t get me wrong, now. Because I understand why they chose to have Henry be the one to wake Emma up. But I still feel a bit put out that they didn’t let Killian do the honors. Maybe it’s just my personal bias, but even so, there really has been an unfortunate pattern that’s been going on for a while. How did the Underworld arc end? With Emma teaming up with Regina to chase after the renegade Henry, with Emma being reprimanded for daring to question Regina’s goodness, while Snowing and Killian got trapped in the LOUS. And the day is ultimately saved because of Henry and the wishing fountain, while Snowing and Killian contributed nothing of merit. What happened in the transition between the Patchwork arc and the Black Fairy arc? Emma was paired up with Regina in Wish World, where Emma was not only given a personality downgrade, but got subjected to emotional trauma when Regina murdered the Wish World version of Emma’s parents before her very eyes. Meanwhile, Killian and Charming, who were both back in Storybrooke, weren’t able to do anything to aid Emma. And now we get this finale, when Emma is once again separated from her parents and True Love, as well as being tossed into a mental hospital. And it’s ultimately Henry who solves everything while Killian, Snow and Charming ultimately achieve nothing. Guys, I get that Emma’s relationship with her son is important. And I appreciate the effort at establishing a friendship between Emma and Regina. But for crying out loud! Why couldn’t you let Killian help save the day this time? While he did come up with the plan to get a magic bean, that ultimately didn’t lead to anything in the grand scheme of things. It’s almost like they’re saying Emma’s relationship with Henry and Regina is more important than the one between her parents and True Love. Why couldn’t we have gotten at least one more True Love confirmation between Emma and Killian? Especially since this is the last time we’re really going to get to see them together on our TV screens?

Regardless of that, Snow ends up delivering her last hope speech, stating that even though they’ve reached the end of Henry’s Storybook, it doesn’t mean their stories are over. Because now they can continue on living their lives and making a new story along the way. As such, we’re given a whole montage of sorts. Snow and Charming move out of the loft apartment and move into a little farmhouse, where Charming appears to have become a stay-at-home dad while Snow continues teaching (even though she really should be past the whole lesson on birds.) We also briefly see what I believe was supposed to be Charming’s old dog, Wilby! Not sure where that wonderful dog was hiding all this time, but whatever. Regina continues her position of mayor, although the dwarfs have replaced the word ‘mayor’ with ‘queen’ on her office door. I can appreciate how people might take issue with this. Because it’s really Snow and Charming who are the rightful rulers here. Regina only became queen by usurping the throne. But in the end, she gets rewarded for that by keeping her position of authority. So, I don’t really fault the people who got angry by this ending. But I suppose I’ve been desensitized by it, since they really have been white-washing Regina since S4. (We also get a brief moment when it’s heavily implied Evil Queen is now engaged to Robin Clone. Which was clearly thrown in to appease the Outlaw Queen fanbase.)

Anyway, Emma continues on as sheriff, with her Yellow Bug being turned into a squad car, complete with a detachable red light. But Killian is now at her side, sporting a shiny new deputy badge. Meaning they’re now official partners of the Storybrooke law enforcement. I’m fine with this, as they’ve been a team for quite a while now. It’s just been made official by giving Killian an actual badge. And we then see Belle and Gold are back together. Which I wouldn’t mind so much, except for the fact that I really don’t think Gold deserves it. Gold has been practically irredeemable since the start of S4. And during the course of the Patchwork arc, he was terrorizing Belle, trapping her against her will on the Jolly Roger, slapping a tracking device on her, and made her so scared for her baby’s safety, she sent Baby Gideon away. Apart from that, he was clearly messing around with Evil Queen. But now, Belle is willing to instantly forgive all of that? I know that it’s possibly a callback to what Killian said during the Dark Swan arc, about how all your sins can be forgiven if someone loves you. But the main difference between Killian and Gold is that Killian is genuinely remorseful for the bad things he’s done. I’ve never gotten any reason to believe that Gold regrets anything. He hasn’t done a single thing to make up for what he’s done in the past. Not to mention he’s never been held accountable for re-killing Milah, as the Nevengers probably still believe Hades was the one who condemned her. He’s also still the freaking Dark One, people! He hasn’t given up his power to be with Belle, meaning he has managed to have both, despite the narrative telling us before that that wasn’t possible. And yet, because his actions benefited the good guys in the end, everyone instantly forgives him, to the point when the Nevengers even let him sit with them at their big family dinner at Granny’s? No. Just, no! At the very least, I can’t help but think Killian is not okay with this. But he probably puts up with it because he doesn’t want to make waves with his family.

I’m really sorry, because I try really hard to not be so negative about the show. But the writers are really notorious for letting the bad guys get away with things. No one ever found out about how Regina killed Graham. And they turn a blind eye to every questionable thing she’s done as part of Team Hero. She probably STILL hasn’t returned the hearts she has stashed away. Zelena, despite the fact that she raped Robin by deception by impersonating his dead wife, is allowed to raise Baby Robyn. And Gold, despite the fact that he really doesn’t give a bat’s behind about any of the Nevengers and only cared about keeping his son safe, is granted a full pardon and accepted into the fold. It’s really hard to stomach. Especialy since the people who have actually made an effort to be good people, like Snow, Charming, Emma and Killian, have to really struggle and fight to obtain their happy endings. But Regina, Zelena and Gold get their happy endings practically giftwrapped for them after doing one good deed at the bottom of the ninth. What kind of message does this send people? That being good means you have to struggle to hold on to the good things in life, but if you’re deceitful, conniving and willing to backstab people when you deem it necessary, you’ll end up getting your way? Guys, we get enough of that in real life. We don’t want the same sort of thing in our fairy tale stories. But again, I get it- A&E wanted to make sure the story ended up with everyone being happy. The fact that a lot of things went unresolved was just an unfortunate side-effect of that.

Now, the Black Fairy. After all is said and done, I really think she was quite a poor choice for a final Big Bad. Granted, when it comes to pure nastiness, this woman really did get top marks. I’ll give her that much. But… what exactly was her motivation for doing all of this? I get that she was initially trying to prevent her son’s death and all, but….what exactly did Emma have to do with that? How exactly was the Black Fairy supposed to benefit from breaking Emma’s spirit and destroying all the magical realms and everyone in them? Even Tamara, who was probably among the dumbest bad guys on the show, had an established motivation for what she was doing. She was essentially a magic Nazi who felt that magic was unnatural and had to be purged from the world. But the Black Fairy? The only real explanation we get with her is basically ‘I’m just evil.’ There was nothing that stupendous about her to really set her apart from the other Big Bads, like Ingrid, Pan and Hades. In fact, her defeat was almost insultingly easy. So why exactly was she picked to be the Final Boss Battle villain? It makes me wonder if A&E were originally planning to have either Regina or Rumple fill the necessary role, but they changed their minds at the last minute for whatever reason. So, knowing they needed a substitute bad guy, they decided to pull a random name out a hat and went with the character Shady Blue mentioned in passing back in 3x11.

Overall, I feel the episode was a bit of a letdown in two very vital areas. First, the Captain Swan aspect. Don’t get me wrong, because I totally understand why they decided to focus on Swan Believer. Considering that was the relationship that helped kickstart the whole series, it’s only natural they’d decide to have it come full circle. And I agree, the relationship between Emma and Henry is very important. But honestly, it really felt like the episode was building up to some epic Captain Swan TL moment. First, we got Killian revisiting the beanstalk from his first adventure with Emma, complete with his whole vehement speech to Charming about how he and Emma fought for their love and won. And Emma’s memories were briefly jogged by simply standing on the spot where she married Killian, and she later seemed to react to seeing the illustration of Killian from 2x04. So we had an obvious buildup to something truly epic for Captain Swan in this two-part finale. But we didn’t really get much of a payoff on that. While the scene with them in the Yellow Bug, with Killian wearing a shiny new deputy badge, was a really nice moment to witness, the fact remains that this might be the last time we really see Captain Swan on our screens. It would have been nice to have seen them have a bit more of a sendoff. Particularly one last TL confirmation. I’m just saying, they’ve given a TLK to practically every other couple. But Emma and Killian have had zero successful TLK moments. I know they passed a TL test designed by the gods themselves, and that’s something no one else can boast. But still, considering how many times they’ve attempted a TLK, it would have been nice to have seen a successful one between them.

I also kinda feel let down in regards to Gold and his ultimate fate. Ever since the start of S4, he really was coming across as completely unredeemable. Particularly during and after the Underworld arc. And the episode before this one even had a glaring reminder about the blood feud that existed between Killian and Gold. Not only do we get Killian vowing to finally skin his crocodile, but he even got a full song about how much he wanted to kill Rumpelstiltskin. But, because Gold’s actions at the last minute helped save the day, it’s like all is forgiven and forgotten? I’m sorry, but even if I didn’t hate Gold, I think I’d still see this as a major copout. I guess I just have to keep in mind that the show isn’t actually over at this point, and we’re getting a 7th season. Hopefully, they’ll finally resolve the centuries-old conflict between Killian and Gold then. After all, it’s already been revealed Belle won’t be in the new season. So, without Belle around, there’s really no excuse for them to not address the Killian vs. Gold aspect of the show.

Finally, it’s time to discuss the final subplot that sprang up in this episode. Each half of this two-parter started off with showing us something that was going down in the Enchanted Forest. The placement of these scenes in the timeline is currently unknown. But we see a young man being pursued by an unseen entity. He entrusts his young daughter with The Storybook, instructing her to guard it with her life, and make sure the dark entity hunting them does not find it. He then stays behind to fight the unseen danger while the little girl runs for it. Sometime later, she returns to the site of the cottage where they were living, only to find it destroyed, and her father’s charred sword lying on the ground. Out of nowhere, Tiger Lily appears, instructing the little girl to not cry, as her father wouldn’t have wanted her to shed tears on his behalf. Tiger Lily tasks the little girl with bringing The Storybook to her mother, reassuring her that, while the future is uncertain, the fairies have foreseen that she’ll be reunited with her father one day.

And then, in the final few moments of the episode, we see the same little girl. This time, she’s in the modern realm, somewhere in Seattle. According to the timecard, years have passed since the Black Fairy’s defeat. The little girl, who is revealed to be called Lucy, locates Room 815 in some apartment complex. When she knocks on the door, the man who emerges is the same man we saw in the opening. And it’s here we find out that the young man is an Adult Henry. And Lucy is his daughter. (Looks like we can add a few more branches in the ever-growing OUAT family tree) In an obvious homage to the Pilot, Adult Henry is clearly meeting Lucy for the first time, which presents the obvious question of who the mother is and why she never told Henry about their kid. Lucy informs Adult Henry that his family needs him, which is also an obvious homage to the Pilot.

So, yeah. Henry’s an adult now. And he has a daughter called Lucy. This should be interesting. Especially since Henry is now living quite a fair distance from Storybrooke, Maine. I realize it’s only natural he’d want to build a life of his own upon reaching adulthood. But moving from Maine to Washington is quite a move. It makes me wonder what made him decide to move so far away from his family and friends in Storybrooke. And again, the fact that he clearly didn’t know about Lucy makes you wonder what the situation was with the baby mama. I believe A&E have already stated that it’s not Violet, which doesn’t surprise me at all. Especially since they were together when they were 14. While it’s not unheard of, it’s extremely rare for people to form lasting romantic relationships at that age.

And so, things are set up for the 7th season. I honestly have mixed feelings about it. Yes, this small sample has piqued my interest. However, since Jennifer has stated she’s not planning to come back for more than one episode, and Josh and Ginny aren’t coming back at all, we’ll be losing Emma, and Snow and Charming. But Colin is going to continue his role of Killian Jones. As much as I love Killian as an individual character, I don’t think I could bear to watch him get through an entire season without his wife and in-laws, even if does get to spend time with his stepson and long-lost step-granddaughter, Lucy. My main concern is that, when A&E first mentioned the character we now know is Adult Henry, they described him as a young man who came from a broken home. So, naturally, that leaves me a bit concerned with what S7 has done with Captain Swan. If they break them up, or make it so Emma died or something, I will be TICKED. Because they spent 5 years building up Emma and Killian’s love story, and it’s probably the most popular ship on the show. So A&E will be proving they’re morons if they decide to ruin their happily ever after. So, whether or not I bother with the next season will largely depend on how they explain Emma’s absence through the next season.

Either way, I thank the actors who have put their time and energy into brining the characters we love to life. I thank the writers who, despite quite a few questionable decisions they made along the way, have given us an amazing modern day fairy tale. And I thank the fandom who have truly made the show a phenomenon, and will continue to keep the spirit of the show alive through fanart and fanfiction. I have even made quite a few irreplaceable friends because of this show, and I will always be grateful for that.

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sulietsexual · 8 years

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LOVED your take on The Freshman, amazing meta as usual and I agree it's such an underrated episode. I can't believe you didn't mention the umbrella though! Also... since you were going to do Becoming... is it too much to ask for it now? I know I'm greedy... :)

ShortOpinion: Noother ship will ever tear me apart the way Bangel does

LongOpinion: BeforeThe Gift came along and stole my heart, Becoming was my favourite seasonfinale, and my favourite episode of BtVS. There is so much to love about thisdouble episode, as it so beautifully showcases Buffy becoming the Slayer, Angelbecoming a vampire and Buffy becoming strong enough to defeat Angel. Bringingthe Angelus arc to a close, while exploring themes of identity, destiny andself-preservation, Becoming is everything a season finale should be and playsthe emotional angle for all its worth.

While I understand how and whysome fans find Angel first seeing Buffy when she is so young creepy andunsettling, I also understand what the writers were trying to portray, showingAngel at his lowest and most desolate and demonstrating how, even before sheknew him, Buffy gave him hope enough to turn his life around, to become a partof something bigger. Whistler sending Angel to Buffy was never supposed to comeacross as stalkery (which it unfortunately does, to a certain extent – althoughnot the extent some fans try to make it out to be) but rather, was supposedshow that Angel sees more to Buffy than she sees in herself, and that heempathises with her loneliness and isolation (a running theme in Buffy andAngel’s relationship).

In the present day, we see Buffyand Willow finally discover the floppy disk (omg, BtVS really showsits age sometimes) containing the spell to re-ensoul Angel and Buffy makes thedecision to have Willow perform the spell. I want to take a moment to talkabout this decision, as I have long wanted to talk about the good oldSpike-fandom argument about Angelus having his soul forced upon him vs Spikeseeking his soul. No, I’m not going to talk about Angel vs. Spike, but rather,Buffy’s agency and autonomy regarding the two vampires receiving their souls.

As just pointed out, Buffy herselfis the one who chooses to re-ensoul Angel. She makes the decision togive Angel back his soul, thereby decided for herself that she is ready to haveAngel back, ready to accept him back into her life, to forgive him and to tryto move on. She makes this decision, using her own autonomy and agency.However, when Spike gets his soul back, he does so without Buffy’s knowledge oracceptance and he therefore forces her into a position she was not readyfor nor had decided she wanted. Spike getting his soul back actually takes awayBuffy’s agency, as it forces her to forgive him, forces her to accept him backinto her life, probably before she was ready to, whereas because Buffy choseto have Angel re-ensouled, she wasn’t forced into a position of forgivenessagainst her will. But I digress.

Becoming contains some wonderfulcharacterisation for not only Buffy and Angel, but most of the other maincharacters too. Willow’s Start of Darkness actually has its beginnings as earlyas this episode, as she insists on casting the re-ensouling spell, mentioningthat she has been researching the Dark Arts for “educational fun”. That rightthere, is a huge red warning sign, showing that Willow is already at this earlystage delving into magics she’s not ready to handle. When she eventuallysucceeds in casting the spell, the power she channels is a clear indicator of justhow much latent power Willow has residing inside her. Jenny previouslymentioned that the magics used to re-ensoul Angel were lost, even to herpeople, yet Willow, a seventeen-year-old girl who has never attempted magicbefore, somehow manages to channel enough power to cast a spell which is over acentury old. If this isn’t an indicator of Willow’s darker path and subsequentpower thirst, I don’t know what it. It’s actually quite alarming, when onethinks about it.

Xander too gets some goodcharacterisation, despite him not coming off so well in this episode. I’vespoken about it before and Lord knows I will speak about it until the day Idie, but despite his asshole-ish tendencies, I really believe that there issomething deeper at play with Xander regarding Angel being re-ensouled andreceiving a second chance, and that something is Jesse’s death. When Jesse –someone whom Xander knew for years and cared for deeply – was turned, no oneever mentioned the possibility of redemption or change for Jesse. Instead,Xander was told, in no uncertain terms, that Jesse was gone and that the demonwho wore his face must be killed. Xander was then the one to actuallykill Jesse. I cannot stress enough how much of an impact this would have had onXander, the trauma he probably felt, and his only rationalization was thatvampires were evil and therefore Jesse was evil and he, Xander, had no choicebut to kill him.

Then, along comes Angel, thevampire with a soul, the man Buffy loves, allowed to live, allowed to be amember of the Scoobie gang. And Xander thinks, why wasn’t his friend allowedthe same chance, why wasn’t Jesse saved the same way Angel was. But Xander,despite what the fandom believes, actually does tolerate Angel while he has asoul (“Angel’s our friend! Except I don’t like him.”) Then Angel loses hissoul, and he becomes the demon that Xander was told Jesse was, yet Buffydoesn’t kill him, doesn’t hunt him. No one is pushing Buffy to kill him. And soXander sees the unfairness in this, the injustice of him having to kill hisbest friend but Buffy not only allowing Angelus to live, but offering him asecond chance. So he acts like a dick, throws Jenny’s death in Buffy’s face andutters the “Kick his ass” line. Because he never got over Jesse’s death, andbeing so young and immature, can’t see the bigger picture, only the injustice.And that’s why, after many years, I have been able to forgive Xander’s actionsin this episode.

Becoming showcases not only thecharacters’ emerging development, but also the development and stages of all ofthe romantic relationships. Willow’s and Oz’s relationship is shown to begetting deeper and more involved, as she calls out for Oz upon waking in thehospital, despite Xander’s declaration of love just moments before. Xander andCordelia embrace and kiss with genuine tenderness and affection, for probablythe first time this season, showing that their relationship is slowly evolvingbeyond that of a purely physical one. Giles’ relationship with Jenny is alsotouched upon, through Drusilla’s manipulations, showing how much Giles stillloves and grieves her (Giles’ torture is one of the few things I will neverforgive Angelus for, and I will always stand behind Giles and his attitudetowards Angel, even after Angel is re-ensouled). But the true emotional crux ofthis episode belongs to Buffy and Angel, and the tragic climax of the episodewhich sees Buffy having to kill Angel to save the world.

Ever since Angel turned intoAngelus, Buffy has spent her time building towards a mind frame wherein shewill be able to kill him (and failing miserably at that). Despite the fact thatAngelus is almost completely different to Angel, Buffy still can’t see past theface of her former lover, and time and again she lets Angelus go when sheeasily could have killed him. However, the dire circumstances in this episodefinally push her to the point where she is able to kill Angelus, and she goesinto the final fight ready to do what needs to be done.

Which is why it is all the moretragic when Angel is re-ensouled mere moments before Buffy is about tokill him. The horror and devastation on Buffy’s face as she realises what’shappened says it all. She went to the mansion to kill the demon wearing herformer lover’s face, not to end the man she loves with all her heart. Herresolve and dedication to saving the world is heartbreaking, as she tearfullytells Angel to close his eyes, before driving the sword through him. Sarah’sacting in this scene is phenomenal, as she portrays Buffy’s grief and horror atwhat she’s been forced to do. It’s interesting that at this point in theseries, Buffy is willing to sacrifice Angel to save the world, but by Season 5,she has become so broken by everything she’s faced that she is unable tosacrifice Dawn, choosing instead to let the world burn. It definitely says a lotabout Buffy’s mental state and how broken down and fractured her psyche becomesover the following seasons, and if we’re honest, this was probably the start ofit all, this first time her Slaying affected her on such a deep and personallevel.

I could honestly write so muchmore about this episode, given that I haven’t even really touched on Kendra’sdeath, or the flashbacks involving Drusilla and Angelus, not to mention Darla’sreappearance, but I believe I’ve rambled for long enough. All up, Becoming is agreat episode, definitely on of BtVS’s best. Well-written, beautifully acted,nicely paced and containing one of the most tragic climaxes of the series,Becoming deserves to be remembered as one of the greatest episodes of theWhedonverse.

#answered #buffy-angel-and-co #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs meta #bangel #meta

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