#Amazon Box Robot

[ethiack]

This Scam is Killing Cats

[sidsinning]

I get not redeeming Chloe in S3, truly I believe it was in her character to pull that shit at the end after not getting the bee miraculous again

I enjoy Chloe not being an insta-redeemed mean girl who goes back on her toxic ways, then doubles down

If she never got redeemed but left everyone in peace and got therapy or smtg I would be happy with that- even just bonding with Zoe

But seeing the writers drop these 2 bit redemption arcs on all these sons a bitches in S5- FULL ASS ADULTS half the time, who have been worse people than her (hi papa andre)

Nah they have lost me; the moral compass of this show is wack

Chloe is a teenage girl, like she still gets some wiggle room to improve since she's so young, but the way the show treats her as totally unforgivable while the principal and her dad get to shimmy off proudly is so????? Huh?????

Also I said I didn't want her to be a hero anymore, but what she is in S5 is just empty and annoying like- police robots, hELLO???

Chloe taking over Paris with these recycled amazon boxes is the city the size of a medieval village now or

[yujateaandpi]

Absolutely Stupid Boys will be Boys Moments in ROTTMNT

 (remember one of these boys has a genius level IQ)

Recreating the Amazon box meme with a serving cart and trying to climb stairs with it

Breaking into a botanical garden at night just to smell a corpse flower 

Gluing themselves into a ball, complaining about it for a whole episode, then gluing themselves BACK together cause they secretly kind of liked it. 

Never forget when they decided to open a fake paper store with salami and the genius level IQ one says “paper is not round” 

Encouraging their older brother to lift a bus AGAIN after he passed out doing it the first time

Getting too excited about hanging out with their dad then beating each other up to the point where none of them could go 

Deciding TWICE in separate episodes that the best way to stop rampaging robots is to sing at them

Screaming and rapping in a library where they’re strictly punished for making noise 

Please feel free to add more. There are. So many.

[miscling]

About Miscling

This is a horny blog for horny blog things. Please don't interact if you're a minor/under 18, go away, shoo. if you follow me, make sure to have some indication of your age in your bio or pinned

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

i am nameless, so call me whatever you like, lin is fine if you need a name. i am a girl, toy, doll, cow, kitty, slut, and ditz. i like to talk to people and am not scary at all, so send asks and dms about anything at all as much as you like. i'll try to respond to everyone!

i am an obedient good girl, who likes being praised. i like being given tasks to do and then be praised for doing the task!

This is a hornyblog that mostly follows other horny and trans blogs. i am a trans woman who has a cunt, i am also autistic and have adhd.

i would like to get to know other poly queer trans people who are very kinky and would especially like messages/follows from them. i am a fun trans sub looking for other trans people ^^ i am mostly T4T, but cis people are fun to play with too! I am in the UK, and would desperately like to hear from any other queer trans people that are also here.

i (re)blog about edging, hypno kink, bdsm, fetishwear, tickling, masochism, petplay (i'm a kitty), hucows/lactation, monsterfucking, CNC, mindbreaking, dollification, dronification, and a lot of generally weird horny things that i'm into. i'm an exhibitionist, submissive, and easily controlled by people who make me feel safe. i'm just a dumb horny girl who is controlled by her cunt. i do not consider myself a person but a toy, i am not a person in the way a cherished item or pet is not a person.

Real people don't wish they weren't people, after all.

Also, i started collecting likes on my previous pinned, saying if i got to 100 notes I'd start sharing links to my edging audios on my blog. If i carry on, and got up to 31 on my last pinned, then this one only needs to get to... 69 (hehe nice) before i'll start doing it. You should like this post if you read it!

Tags and links:

About Miscling contains every post that's about me.

You can find pics of me in Miscling Appears. (it's okay to go on a reblogging and liking spree through them) i make original posts under Miscling Rambles and posts about my lactation journey in Miscling Lactates i also make polls, which you can find in my Miscling Polls tag. you can hear my voice in the Miscling Speaks tag and over at my soundgasm page!

You can send me tasks with my ask tasks meme! I will take tasks from literally anyone ^^ you can see tasks I've done here! If you like or follow my blog, think about sending me a task as a little gift!

I learned to edge last year and was broken by a poll I ran to get permission to cum here then here and here. i hope to never cum again without being forced. i can't be forced to cum over the internet. i kept an edging diary for a while and my last orgasm was 1feb24.

I love to write, and I especially like to write about kink. Read bits about my play with Miscling Plays and stories I wrote with Miscling Writes.

Use my ask box liberally, anon or not. i'll answer near anything and you can use my ask meme tag and miscling answers to find questions to ask me (scroll the tag and use any meme you like, but copy in the questions or link the meme!)

I have a lovense wishlist (long distance remote vibrators)

I have an amazon wishlist (lingerie and random kink things)

I have a cashapp link (if you just want to tip me directly)

I have a ko-fi link! (please don't reference anything nsfw on kofi if you use this)

I'm trying to tag my kinks so i can find them when i want them, this is no guarantee that i'll tag things though. mommysub for posts about being a mommysub, goddess thoughts for religionplay where i'm a subby goddess, Bind Miscling for bondage, hit me for masochism, moo for hucow things, lee mood for tickling, oh my circuits for robot/drone things, maid day for maids, tidy up tuesday for my maid day, monsterling for monsterfucking posts, hypno gif, spiral, hypno txt, and hypnaudio, for hypno play, and hypnoslut for general hypno posts, preyling for primal play, latexcellent for rubberwear, and as i figure out others i'll add them...

I'm a slutty set of holes, a toy for others to use. Fill my mouth, cunt, and ass.

Also, I have some limits:

i have a nest partner, i won't let anything come between us

i do not like misogyny, transphobia, racism, or bigotry. This applies to kink too.

i don't like possessive language, only people i trust can own me

please don't try to make me cum or ask/tell me to

don't call me a bitch or a puppy. i like puppy petplayers a lot, but i am a kitty petplayer.

i don't like being treated as inferior, i might be submissive, but i should still matter and be treated with care and respect

sissy blogs dni, i am a woman, do not reblog my pics to your sissy blog, i will block you if i spot you.

i am a toy for others to enjoy!

(Most tasks recieved and completed in one day: 18) (Most tasks recieved on a special occasion: 48)

ASK TASKS: OPEN

use my ask box to send me tasks to do! i'd love to entertain and perform for you all! i am a good and obedient girl, and i enjoy getting tasks to do!

choose one or more task emoji and send them to me! include instructions if you send complicated tasks

tasks can come from anyone, even anons!

i'll do tasks as soon as i can! i have to finish my work wach day before i can play and i've grown very busy lately. basic tasks i'll do on my own, but i'll need help for the slightly more complicated ones so they might be a little while! Mutuals can DM me with DM tasks, and if i'm available we'll play ^^

task list below the readmore

BASIC TASK LIST!

🗜️ make me wear nipple clamps for 5 minutes! 📦 make me wear 10 pegs on my cunt for 10 minutes! 🤚 make me slap my cunt 5 times! ⚡ choose a part of me and make me use my TENS unit there for 10 mins. 🪆 dolly time! for the next 30 mins make me cup my hands, stay on my tip toes, and arch my back. 😺/🐮 petplay! for the next 30mins, make me keep off my furniture and only move around on all fours. make me put on my animal ears based on which one you send! 🤖 make me a good robot and complete one thing on my to-do list! ♾️ make me get my breast cups and pump my breasts for 15 mins! 🤐 make me gag myself for half an hour! (tell me what kind of gag to use and if I have it I'll use it, otherwise I'll pick) 🧣 make me put on my collar if i'm not already wearing it! 👗 make me get undressed and be naked for the next 30 mins! ✏️ make me write what you tell me on my body where you tell me! 💖 make me draw a little heart on myself where you tell me! 😵‍💫 make me stare at a spiral for 5 minutes (send me a spiral to use) (i won't use spirals that give me bad vibes, but i'll use any i've already reblogged) 🗣️ ask me anything, name a kink or give me a topic to write about (kinky or otherwise) and make me infodump about it. 🔊 send me a post or a write something for me to record saying, and i'll post the recording. 📝 make me go add 100 words to my current WIP novel. 🫴 make me edge for 10 minutes (Send me instructions, porn, a post to edge to, or a mantra to repeat while I do it, you can use my mantra tag for ideas. i cannot do this task on thursdays) 🕳️ make me fill up a hole for 10 minutes! (Choose to plug my cunt or/and ass, i cannot do this task on thursdays) 👅 make me stick my tongue out for 10 minutes! 💋 make me go practice deepthroating for 5 mins! 🍇 make me go get a snack and a drink! ❌ make me go take a break outside for 5 mins! 😴 make me go lay down in bed for 15 mins, no screens allowed.

SLIGHTLY MORE COMPLICATED TASK LIST!

👋 i'll ask my nestie to tickle me for 5 mins! (check my toybox) 🖐️ i'll ask my nestie to slap me 10 times! choose my face or tits 🏓 i'll ask my nestie to hit me 10 times! choose my ass or thighs (check my toybox) 👣 i'll ask my nestie to put elastic bands around my feet and snap the band against my soles 10 times. (nestie enjoys doing this to me) 🫶 i'll ask my nestie to choke me and hold my breath over a 5 minute session (please do not mix with other tasks) ⛓️ i'll get myself tied up and restrained for 30 mins! 🥊 No hands! make me put on my hand mitts for 15 minutes!

DM TASKS

If we're mutuals, you can dm me and play with me in other ways. Ask me for my lovense toy control links, combine tasks into one bigger task, send me files to listen to or hypnotise me yourselves, make me wear a diaper or control my toilet use, or suggest other things to do with me that you'd like! Non-mutuals who've gotten to know me can ask to play too.

Or...

⁉️ Give me a task not listed! (You can find the contents of my toybox here for ideas) (I reserve the right to safeword, but I'm very open and obedient, so shoot your shot)

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (March 24-30, 2024)

A coworker asked tonight me how Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire measured up to Godzilla Minus One, and I responded, "Almost as good, but in a completely different way." If you like monsters (and if you're following me I have to assume you do), see it, no questions asked. There's about a million of them and they're all delightful. The franchise has long struggled to recapture the specific charms of the Showa era, and I think this comes closer than any of them. (It's the climactic tag-team battle... also Mothra returning to knock some sense into Godzilla). Pure junk food, but you can't just watch Oppenheimer all the time.

Godzilla x Kong tore up the box office this weekend, performing well above expectations. Its $80 million opening Stateside was the second-best of the Monsterverse (after Godzilla). It added another $114 million internationally for the best overall opening of the (still-young) year. China was a big part of that with $44 million; giant monster movies are among the few Hollywood imports that still play well there. With a $135 million budget, lowest of the Monsterverse by a wide margin, it's a matter of when, not if, Legendary announces the next one.

The Oxford English Dictionary has added an entry for tokusatsu, defined as "A genre of Japanese film or television entertainment characterized by the use of practical special effects, usually featuring giant monsters, transforming robots, and masked and costumed superheroes." It's part of a group of 23 freshly-acknowledged Japanese loan words; unclear if the timing is coincidental. Oh, and if you're curious, they added kaiju in 2018. As someone who remembers when the only English-speakers who used either word were in fandom, it's pretty wild to see.

French company Extralucid Films will release Gappa on Blu-ray in June. The impressive-sounding bonus features are naturally all in French, but there's one that transcends language: 17 minutes of extra monster footage. The U.S. version of Gappa, Monster from a Prehistoric Planet, only has about 7 minutes worth of shots absent from the Japanese version, so I'm pretty curious about the other 10. It's also the first time this footage has been released in HD (Tokyo Shock blew it in 2020).

Season 2 of Chibi Godzilla Raids Again is indeed receiving official English subtitles, starting the same day as the Japanese premiere, April 10. Godzilla Battle Line also added a hilariously busted joint Chibi Godzilla-Chibi Mechagodzilla unit, along with a Destoroyah variant. (Maybe Godzilla x Kong units are next month?)

A new Monsterverse movie means new books to buy. The prequel comic Godzilla x Kong: The Hunted is out already (not recommended), but officially you'll have to wait until April 23 for the novelization and May 14 for the art book. Chalk that up to the late release date change, maybe. Unofficially, people are already getting the novelization from Amazon, because they're a monopoly that can afford to pay the fines from publishers for breaking street date. The audiobook version also released on the same day as the film. I don't have intel on what it adds and changes yet; adding everything from the film itself to Wikizilla is all I can handle right now.

The San Francisco Giants are offering a Godzilla VIP Experience on May 17, a long-overdue acknowledgement of the savior of their city. Tickets are almost gone, though I think it's a shame that the promotion is opt-in to begin; what happened to giving these tchotchkes out to the first thousand fans? Well, figures that they'd make getting merch of the Minus One Godzilla in the States a hassle.

[sablesdolls]

a mini guide to mini dolls

i'm making this because i love smaller dolls (between 4-7" tall) and i wish there were more options that aren't toddlers/children😔 if anyone knows of a doll line i've missed, please let me know!!

MGA Dream Ella Extra Iconic Mini doll

articulation including elbows and knees

more realistic adult proportions

brushable hair

6" tall

available on Amazon (but discontinued I think)

only 3 doll models were made

Barbie Extra Mini doll

articulation including elbows and knees

big, rounded head compared to body

brushable hair

5.5" tall

available at retailers

Magic Mixies Pixlings doll

articulation of arms and legs but only elbows, not knees

big, rounded head

molded-on clothing and supernatural features like wings, ears, horns, fins, etc.

6-6.5" tall

available at retailers

My Little Pony Equestria Girls Mini dolls

articulation including elbows and knees

Big head, but balanced out with big feet

Molded-on plastic hair, clothes, shoes, and horse ears

4.5-5" tall

discontinued, have to buy second-hand and can be expensive

Disney Store 5.5" Mini dolls

only basic articulation: head, legs, arms.

Proportions are realistic, close to a 12" doll like Barbie or MH

Brushable hair (although male dolls have molded hair)

5.5" tall

discontinued, obscure, and can be expensive second-hand

Winner's Stable playset dolls

articulation of knees but not elbows

budget dolls (not the best quality)

brushable hair

5" tall

discontinued but affordable second-hand

Breyer Freedom Series 1:12 scale dolls

I'm pretty sure they're articulated to the elbows and knees?

proportions similar to Barbie or MH

brushable hair

hands in reins-holding pose lol

6" tall

available but overpriced imo

Kuu Kuu Harajuku Mini doll

only basic articulation at arms and legs

oversized head and feet

molded-on hair

4-4.5" tall

discontinued but available second-hand, not too expensive

Capsule Chix

LOTS of articulation, including even hands and feet

All joints pop easily on and off

fairly realistic proportions

body has molded-on details to look like a robot

some have molded-on clothes, all have molded plastic hair

4.5-5" tall

available at retailers or second-hand, although a bit overpriced imo

Enchantimals 6" dolls

only basic arm and leg articulation

brushable hair

huge head with slim body

molded-on animal features like ears or horns

6" tall

pretty easy to find on Amazon or second-hand, affordable

Sonic Prime Action Figures

according to the box, 13 points of articulation

(obviously) molded to look like the Sonic the Hedgehog characters

lots of molded and painted details

5" tall

available at retailers, usually around $15 each

I'm including these even though they're action figures because if someone wanted to swap the heads, I think the bodies would be a fun and unique choice for a custom doll

there are actually lots of interesting articulated action figures that have customization potential!

[misscammiedawn]

Dissociative Identity Disorder in Mr. Robot

So I have been writing little essays about Mr. Robot recently.

Dom's Sexuality, Gay Marriage and Whiterose

Back to the Future and Brainwashing

Today I wish to talk about the DID representation in Mr. Robot.

Actually I want to talk about the DID representation in the Hulk comics but there are 40 years worth of storylines involving it and it would require me to write about clinical understandings from the 1980s when it was called MPD (admitedly Mr. Robot's stumbles at the finish line with some of these same outdated treatment models) and that would take a while. Suffice to say it will happen eventually*. I shall make a new tag "Media Myself and I" and post it under that when I have more time to do it justice. Maybe I'll do others. I am uncertain. I believe I want to focus on positive depictions where there are no murder alters. The goal is to get people to want to enjoy things, not to steer them away. I have a few shows and games in mind at the very least.

Regardless… Mr. Robot is an easier topic to cover and is my hyperfocus of the moment.

So Mr. Robot is a show about isolation in the modern world. It's a show about socioeconomic stress, late-stage capitalism and what it means to enact meaningful change on a broken world.

But above all it is about the healing journey of Elliot Alderson, a man with dissociative identity disorder.

I say that at the start because Elliot's condition is never named until the final episode. In many ways a realistic depiction of a real world disorder was an afterthought noted in the final hour of the journey as a means of justifying the split personality trope and hiding a final twist. In spite of that the roadmap for the show was always leading to this destination and along the way they managed to get some fairly good representation out of the mix.

Season 2 even involves the only time I have ever seen a piece of fiction depict "blending" on screen. Blending isn't a symptom listed in either DSM or ICD manuals. It is, however, something one would hear about if they had a conversation with someone who had DID. I have used that scene to depict what it feels like to my partners.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

I love Mr. Robot. It is currently my favorite show of all time. If you have never seen it then please give it a shot. This post will be spoiler heavy and I'd hate to rob anyone the opportunity to watch S4E7 and have a pure emotional reaction to it. The show is on Amazon Prime and the full box set is available for $35-50 depending on format and vendor.

Go with my blessing.

-

The first season of the show begins with Elliot Alderson (Rami Malek) living a double life. By day a cyber security expert and by night he spends his time at his computer hacking people's accounts and satisfying a "little itch in the back of his head" that guides him to uncover the murky facts about people. The first scene of the show has him take down a cafe owner who hosts an illegal and deeply unpleasant website. I have seen individuals walk away from the first episode thinking that the show is "Dexter but with computers" but it is more lulsec activism with a Fight Club aesthetic.

The show has 4 seasons and each season depicts a different stage of Elliot's healing journey and with it completely different rules and depictions of his condition. I'll break down each season for what they do right and what they do wrong.

Season 1: Discovery

Elliot's system in season one is undiscovered but he has overt symptoms, meaning he is unaware that he has any alters but he suffers from clean breaks in his consciousness and drastically altered behavior patterns both which are a detriment to the "hidden" nature of the condition.

Commonly most people do not discover their condition until their 30s. I was 37/38 when our therapist started guiding us towards accepting our condition.

DID manifests in childhood but it's a hidden illness that does its best to go undetected. The point of the condition is to remain hidden. The internet and the educational resources it offers are helping younger individuals to recognize their symptoms and advocate for themselves at an earlier age but the standard medical understanding is that most people are developed adults before they are diagnosed.

Published statistics for DID indicate the global population of those with the condition is about 1.5% (some organizations argue the number should be higher due to how difficult it is to receive an accurate diagnosis, but 1.5% is the most consistent figure) which is rare but not to the point of never encountering it. For comparison, according to a 2023 census 1.0% of people in the USA identify as transgender. There are no tested classifications for Covert vs Overt display of symptoms but it is widely agreed that an overwhelming majority of cases within the 1.5% are covert.

We learn that Elliot is desperately lonely, abuses morphine and has paranoid delusions about men in black stalking his every move. Whenever Elliot is on screen we can never be sure what is real and what isn't, so there are times when men wearing black suits are on screen and we cannot be sure if Elliot is paranoid or delusional.

The show takes place through his perspective after all and we are a character in the show.

See… the narrative device of the show involves Elliot speaking to "friend", us. The audience. "Hello, friend." is a common refrain spoken throughout the show. The narrative begins a short while after Elliot had a complete mental breakdown and smashed up a server room, he is seeing a court appointed therapist, is socially paralyzed to the point of which we see him linger outside a birthday party and retreat home to cry in loneliness.

The entire first season Mr. Robot is depicted as another character, akin to Tyler Durden, a wild revolutionary who wants to encrypt the data of the world's largest bank in order to seal the debt records and reset everything back to 0. He starts off appearing in scenes involving the men in black stalking Elliot to mingle him in with the paranoid delusions and eventually begins interacting with him in earnest. Though the reveal is treated as a twist 8 episodes into the show Elliot does accuse the audience of knowing the entire time and he refuses to speak to us for some time, even going as far as to keep secrets from us because he cannot trust us any longer.

It's at this point that I will note that media depictions of DID tend to lean heavily on the phrase "it's a visual medium" and depict ways that characters can see, interact with and communicate with alters/parts in a dramatic setting. Off the top of my head Hulk is about the only form of fiction I've seen where the temptation to do this doesn't take over and even then the old "other face in the mirror" trope shows up there.

So for what it's worth the paranoid thinking and hallucinations are not DID symptoms and typically a person with the condition cannot see or hear their alters. In fact a testing criteria included in the MID exam is to rule out schizophrenia by eliminating the possibility that the voices heard are external or that any hallucinations exist. In Mr. Robot they are likely caused by Elliot's morphine addiction, but he gets clean after season 1 and Mr. Robot is always there.

There are some plot elements which I want to talk about but they do spoil the final "twist" of the show. So I want to warn again that anyone in the process of watching should be warned we are getting into entire show spoiler territory.

The Elliot we see in the show is the result of the stress fueled breakdown that Mr. Alderson had 6 months prior to the show starting. The timeline is fuzzy in my head but there were two triggers which set him off and began his condition flaring up (and/or caused him to lean harder into his drug addiction which in turn fueled his condition). The one we know about is that he was locked in a server room and forced to work long into the night on an issue and the already upset and stressed Elliot snapped and had a black-out.

We come to learn that he has had these his whole life but this is the first time such an incident occurred that he couldn't self-justify what had happened. He smashed up a server room, something he felt himself not capable of.

But the second trigger is the more important one.

His sister, Darlene, moved to NYC and started visiting him.

The bigger and better twist of season 1 is that Elliot and Darlene are siblings. This is hidden from Elliot and the audience for the first 7 episodes and her presence is treated much like Marla Singer from Fight Club, of whom she likely contains some inspiration, where she keeps showing up in Elliot's apartment and acting overly familiar with him.

In the earliest episodes when we are learning about Elliot's lonely life he looks at a photograph of himself and his mother at Coney Island. Due to some hallucinations we know that Magda is an abusive mother and screamed at/hit Elliot a lot. We learn more about her in future episodes and she is a truly horrible parent. Likely more than was ever depicted in the show.

The photo is actually of the full Alderson family including Darlene and Edward but is not shown as such until the reveals that Darlene is Elliot's sister and Mr. Robot is modeled after Elliot's father. The photograph is a reference to Back to the Future.

But it also is a fairly good visual representation of self-filtering information, even when it is contradictory in nature. This is common not just in DID but in all forms of CPTSD.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition that develops during prolonged exposure to trauma and makes radical changes to the nervous system. CPTSD is considered a root of DID and it is universal for those diagnosed with DID to have a CPTSD diagnosis also.

One of the ways CPTSD symptoms manifest is "Emotional Avoidance". The nervous system is activated when triggers related to the trauma exist within the person's life. In order to function their brains push away these reminders and naturally avoid interacting with them. This causes those with the condition to become withdrawn, to isolate and to have distorted and often contradicting patterns of thought. For instance Elliot needs connection and safety that he associates with family but his family were his primary abusers and so he edits his memories to focus on positive associations such as a family trip to Coney Island that has become an obsession to him in adulthood. We later learn that Elliot's obsession with movies was born from it being his primary way of connecting with his father... which is fairly relatable.

His positive memories of his parents are held in high regard even though we know that his father "pushed him out of a window" and his mother used to put out cigarette butts on Darlene, tried to force her to commit animal cruelty and is often depicted in hallucinations as beating and screaming at Elliot.

In a case where it is impossible to avoid the traumatic trigger, for instance the return of relative who is a living reminder of his abusive childhood, the individual may begin to dissociate. Dissociation being where a person, overwhelmed by what they are experiencing has a separation from their normal state leading to a disconnect from emotions, sense of self and reality.

Episode 8 in particular contains a visual depiction of it when Elliot is having a quiet meltdown over finding out he has a 2 day deadline and his boss at work has known about the server exploit he installed all along.

(the show often uses the camera in ways to emphasize emotional walls, dissociation and isolation like this. This sequence does so by having hard cuts, shaky cam and frantic pace melt into a gliding slow lull where the background noise filters out and we can share in Elliot's distance from his situation for a moment)

Elliot's form of blocking out is extreme but has half a foot in reality (and half a foot in the logic born from the "twist" ending) in that in order to continue interacting with Darlene he views her as a member of Fsociety and edits out their connection until it is revealed in episode 7.

A small brilliancy about Fsociety is that the entire group is formed around Elliot and Darlene's need for childhood safety. The hacking elements of the show undoubtedly born from 9 year old Elliot spending time at Mr. Robot computer repair with a smile. The anon-mask that the show uses comes from an in-universe movie that Darlene and Elliot watched every Halloween and their base of operations is Coney Island. A place that both siblings seem to associate with safety and happiness...

Which is extra messed up when you factor Season 2's revelation that Darlene was kidnapped while on a family trip to Coney Island.

Darlene's panic attacks, need to feel special and her abusive upbringing are not the topic for this essay, but I wanted to make mention that Magda was such a horrible mother that a 4/5 year old Darlene thinks of being kidnapped from a family trip to Coney Island as one of her most precious childhood memories.

The desire to reach into the past and change things to create an ideal future is a heavy theme of the show and I feel it's important to note that though the Alderson siblings reject Whiterose and her scheme, they are both living in an almost literal fun house distortion of the few unambiguously GOOD childhood memories that they each have and have wrapped them around themselves like a protective blanket.

The plot of season 1 gets a lot more uncomfortable when you realize how much of Fsociety is two traumatized kids recreating positive elements of their childhood and trying to live inside of those memories while lashing out at those who took their father away from them. The entire plan is centered around events from 1995. The show takes place in 2015.

Mr. Robot himself is, of course, the ultimate symbol of that take on events.

Edward Alderson was a monster. He's referred to as such overtly in Elliot's detox fever dream. Everyone asks him who his "monster" is while handing him the key that we learn was to his childhood bedroom. A key that he hid to prevent Edward from entering his room late at night.

Yet throughout the first 3 seasons of the show we are only shown him in context of the positive memories that he and Elliot shared. Elliot was 9 years old when Edward passed away from leukemia.

At a point, Elliot is picked up from school. He has a bruise on his cheek and the scene begins with Edward asking "If I had to guess, you didn't tell Principal Howard your side.", assuring him it's okay to share his side of the story. Because Edward is convincing him to tell his side I am going to assume Elliot got into a fight but it's not impossible to assume that the school pulled Edward in to discuss the signs of physical abuse on the child. Edward would never tell Elliot to tell his side of that story so I assume it was a fight.

It's unclear if Mr. Robot is the one who participated in those fights (we only have 2 confirmed instances of Elliot's alters showing up in childhood. The window incident and the day Edward died) but Edward picks him up and protects him from his mother's wrath and bonds with him during that drive, he reveals his diagnosis to Elliot before inviting him to work with him at the computer repair store. Likely this is what leads to Elliot's hacker skills being born.

A hauntingly similar event in my own life is why I am a photographer.

Given that the majority of Season 1 has Elliot in the dark about his condition we are only given context as to why he is the way he is and see the display of dissociative symptoms which manifest from CPTSD. Mr. Robot existing at all is actually not required for this to be a good depiction of adults who grew up in abusive environments and the way they maladaptively cope.

I also want to give a little praise to the "itch at the back of [Elliot's] head" that shows up when he feels the desire to hack someone or dig deeper and the way he pushes forward with his own will until he calms down enough to let a creeping hesitation overcome him and prevent him from acting.

Passive Influence is part of DID. It's a situation where a "fronting" (that is to say part that is in control at a time) performs an unthinking action or is emotionally swayed by the influence of another part/alter that is not presently conscious. These are one of the biggest ways that the condition flies under the radar for many. When they are close to discovering proof of their condition they will often feel an unconscious push away from it. The phenomenon is fairly easily brushed aside internally as "a gut feeling" or an "impulse" but it's observable under the right conditions.

An instance I can think of in my own life is when our survival part is trying to push people away and our emotional part desperately tries to reach out. I will often find my hand grabbing a person's wrist and clinging tightly to it without even noticing that I've done it.

In the show Elliot is compelled by Mr. Robot when he feels someone is a danger or has a weakness that can be exploited. Part of him knows he needs to do something about it and so he lets himself be guided.

The season ends with The 5/9 Hack succeeding, all the financial data being encrypted and Elliot sent to prison for (minor) hacking charges.

He knows who Mr. Robot is now and he fears him as his enemy.

Season 2 (and the book): Exploration

The first 8 episodes of Season 2 are a filter for those watching the show, many drop off. Personally I love it but I can see why it's not for everyone. Season 2 is much slower than the first and Elliot is in prison for those 8 episodes. He's also imagining that prison is his mother's house.

That daydreaming coping mechanism is largely there to add a fairly unearned sense of mystery to a character development season and make things a little more visually interesting. For the most part I don't really want to focus too much on it or the way Elliot treats "us"/"friend".

The fact is that for this season Mr. Robot and Elliot are in direct conflict but they are feeling out their landscape and trying to find common ground. They are pulling in different directions but they are reacting and responding to one another. The show uses a chess match as a visual symbol of this and in such they are keeping one another in a constant state of check. They are opposed to one another but they are communicating and working things out.

So let's start by looking at the book. The book is a recreation of the in-universe journal that Elliot keeps while he is in prison. We see him writing in it during the show and the entire thing is available, it even includes little ARG elements to let you decode the messages Mr. Robot is receiving from The Dark Army.

The book is detailed like this and it's possible to note when Elliot's handwriting turns into Mr. Robot's handwriting. There are even points where there is "blended" handwriting. It's easy to spot in the above image because Mr. Robot writes with a heavy hand and in all caps where Elliot is soft and uses lower case, in the top line of the second page "you NeeD atteNtioN aNd aRe Willing to pay a lotta MoNey to get it." you can see Elliot slipping from one headspace to another while becoming upset at society.

Even still if you look above the FUCK SOCIETY image you see Elliot's calmer handwriting as clear and flowing.

When we were in denial of our condition we poured through journal after journal and chatlog after chatlog hunting for evidence to prove or disprove the theory.

It was when I looked at our old gaming journals (we took notes in pen/pencil live during TTRPG sessions because memory issues are gonna memory issues) that we noticed similar. Cursive used in some phrases, individual letters separate on another, the letters g and y getting curled at times and not at other times.

Subtler than what is displayed above but no less real.

Season 2 introduces us to Ray the warden brilliantly played by Craig Robinson. He empathizes with Elliot because he speaks to his dead wife as a means of coping with grief and assumes that Elliot is the same.

He offers Elliot guidance by asking him to play chess "against himself" and this leads to Elliot and Mr. Robot playing endless games of stalemate against one another with deletion on the line for the loser. It's the same brain and neither side wants to lose (nor do they truly want to win, Elliot admits as much in Season 3 that he likes having Mr. Robot and misses him when he's not around) and as noted above with passive influence, the games are always guided to end in a stalemate because no matter how opposed they are as forces, they both want the same things.

So... how about the Sitcom episode?

Elliot breaks his promise to Ray and looks at the website that he is tasked with doing tech support on. It's--- not good.

Ray uses a combination of crooked cops and convicted Neo-Nazis to have Elliot beaten into submission so he won't report what he saw. Elliot cannot handle this and has a mental break and wakes up in a 90s 4 camera sitcom world.

Alf is there. Because old episodes of Alf are playing in the medical ward at the time Elliot is being treated for his wounds.

The entire time he is taking a beating Mr. Robot is protecting Elliot by fronting and forcing him into an inner-world fantasy.

Okay... so Inner-Worlds.

In the show we actually had one of these in Season 1 during the detox trip but I want to talk about it now and round back and talk more in Season 4.

Inner-Worlds are a thing within DID treatment. Emphasis on the word treatment. It's one of the more commonly misunderstood things within discussion on the condition because it's regularly reported as part of the experiences within those who are diagnosed with DID but it's important to know that the existence of the diagnosis indicates the existence of treatment.

During any adapted 3 or 4 phase trauma treatment program that includes parts work, whether this be Internal Family Systems model which is used for individuals who do not have DID or system mapping and stabilization for those who do, the patient must work on creating a "meeting" space to visualize (or sense out emotionally for those with aphantasia) and much of the work of developing safety and structure within comes from filling that space with comforts and generating communication between parts.

I'll talk more on the "conference table" in Season 4.

It is possible for those not going through therapy to create one outside of the context of a therapeutic alliance but the creation of one is an intentional act. Not something that comes free with your childhood trauma.

Elliot's trip to the inner-world keeps him from experiencing any of the beating that the body is receiving and at the end Mr. Robot earnestly says he only wanted to take the punches for Elliot, nothing more. Elliot falls against him, tearful and whimpers out "Thank you" before we are given the flashback of the day Edward picked up 9 year old Elliot from school after the fight and confesses his leukemia.

For the record, my heart swells every time I see Mr. Robot acting as a protector.

So, let's talk S2E9 and the "blending" incident.

Blending is what happens when two parts/alters are co-conscious and are present enough that they are sharing control of the body. It's an uncomfortable experience. Co-Consciousness means that more than one part/alter is actively perceiving the world at any given time.

It's more complicated than binary yes/no. Every one of these experiences exists on a spectrum and no two people with the condition experience it quite the same way but there are levels of presence that one has.

The following is me talking more from anecdotes and personal experience than textbooks. I like to be clear when I'm not being academic because I do not want to spread misinformation in my arbitrary analysis of TV shows that will get 20 notes on Tumblr Dot Com.

Front is to be driving the body, to have your inner monologue playing (if you have one, most people do, but it's not a given) and have your emotions interact with the nervous system if you are grounded enough to feel your experiences. As I said, it's a spectrum. Everyone gets dissociated at times and can just go into auto-pilot or a trance. That all still counts as being in front.

To be conscious but not front is to exist in an emotionally reactive state. If Fronting is driving then co-consciousness is to be in the passenger seat.

It's truly difficult to describe and my therapist doesn't even fully comprehend it despite her being the one who educates me on these topics. Presently as I type this I can only feel one of our system (5 parts) active and "with" me right now. She's not speaking but she's reacting. I can feel her apprehension to us typing this much about our personal life, little flits of paranoid thinking that we'll get anon-hate or that people from our former life will see this and judge us. It's a presence and exists on a gradient. She's "awake" right now but I do not consider her fully "co-con" because if I asked her to tell me what she thinks about this sentence I can feel an emotional reaction (apprehension) but not a direct answer akin to "I think you should edit out references to our journal and focus on talking about the show" (which is what I imagine she would say right now). That's the spectrum.

Closer to the front a part/alter is the more direct communication happens.

There's also "asleep" and "dormant" when they are unresponsive. Pretty self explanatory. Elliot's system has 5 parts(plus "friend") and until Season 4 we only really see Mr. Robot and the main character version of Elliot. Magda and Young Elliot show up in hallucinations in Season 1 and Young Elliot is co-con in Season 4. Magda never shows up outside of emotional flashbacks and the inner-world.

So after Elliot and Mr. Robot combine forces (though Mr. Robot is still working with the Dark Army and is trying to move in secret) they have moments where they rapidly switch and cannot keep straight who is fronting at any given time.

There's a scene where Elliot is in another room thinking to "friend" when he hears an argument in the next room and realizes Mr. Robot is in the argument. As he walks in, Mr. Robot is surprised to see that Elliot is aware when he is fronting and he trails off and they switch.

Mr. Robot says that something feels off about how they are acting and that they feel like they're overheating.

A later scene depicts Elliot phasing out mid-conversation on the subway and picturing himself in the next car observing Mr. Robot talking to Cisco while a passenger plays erratic music on a keyboard.

That is such a horrifyingly accurate depiction of something we live with that I was stunned to see it on screen. I've included it in some of my stories that go over living with these experiences but the idea is when we are stressed out, can't keep our head straight and are blended like this we tend to have snippets of music playing over and over in our head. We also get what I refer to as "static" and that seems to be relatable in support groups.

A++ for the show depicting something about the DID experience that simply does not get spoken about outside of the spaces of people dealing with it. It was the moment I knew they actually spoke to people who experience this stuff and did proper research that wasn't just media depictions and medical textbooks.

The final part of Season 2's wild ride I want to talk about is the "lucid dreaming" bit.

Mind awake. Body asleep. Mind awake. Body asleep.

This again goes into Overt DID which I cannot comment on as much as covert depictions but the idea is that Elliot trains himself to remain awake when Mr. Robot takes over. We have seen from the blending experience that he is starting to remain when Mr. Robot is active and so he tries to force himself to stay when Mr. Robot is active.

In therapy this would be achieved through trust, communication and awareness. It's said in communities that systems tend to become more overt as they go through treatment as they are able to identify lines, parts can advocate for themselves and there's better understanding of what "self" means for every alter.

In my experience there's also an element of trying to pretend to be consistent and whole. We were coming out transgender when our therapist guided us towards DID diagnosis and there was a lot of tearing ourselves apart because we needed to act in a certain way for our safety and inability to do so put us at risk of being targeted. In accepting our system we have stopped trying to be the same individual and that has lead to a more overt presentation. As I tell my therapist "we need to act out our gender expression anyway. Every action we take is a performance."

That is to say, Mr. Robot has never attempted to maintain the illusion that he is Elliot Alderson (albeit he never identifies himself. He's even surprised to learn that Elliot calls him that) and Elliot doesn't even know he is "The Mastermind".

In opting to remain hidden and conscious he gains a greater degree of control and agency in his situation.

These things get easier as you learn your condition, build system trust and allow yourself to experience that which you feel comfortable experiencing. With the example of the beating earlier, Mr. Robot shut Elliot out and took the beating for him and Elliot resisted but ultimately did not want to be present. In this episode he learns that if he wishes he could have pushed through and been there and experienced everything, albeit as a passenger rather than the driver.

Therapy also teaches how to "go into the back room" to maintain stability. A technique that lets you volunteer to not be involved in a situation. My system all use this whenever I (Dawn) perform erotic intimacy of any kind. They cannot handle the thought of associating with those acts and prior to treatment it would emotionally disregulate our nervous system if parts that couldn't handle the concept were to be present during those moments because parts of me would be trying to dissociate while I am trying to act. It would either trigger a switch, cause blending or make a part shut down and become unresponsive for a large period of time- one of our partners actually discovered our system this way. She saw us shut down during a scene and realized it wasn't just a "mood swing" as we had insisted.

Elliot learns how to intentionally open up and be present when Mr. Robot is active and because Plot happens he is shot and decides to use this skill to close himself off and create a stronger divide between parts.

Season 3: Rejection

If Season 2 was the pair working things out on a chess match where they keep one another in check then Season 3 is after Elliot has tossed the board and decided to shut Mr. Robot out completely.

The arc words are "battling in our own voids", in Season 1 Mr. Robot was always aware of what Elliot was doing but Elliot was unaware of Mr. Robot's actions and in Season 2 they were fairly co-conscious to the point of overheating. Season 3 the connection is shut down. Mr. Robot has no concept of what Elliot is doing and Elliot no concept of what Mr. Robot is doing.

This goes back to the Overt/Covert thing mentioned at the start. It's a rare thing even within a rare disorder to have that level of amnesia barriers between parts and so I can't really comment on accuracy. It's a frustrating season for me in that regard because Season 2 was doing so well at depicting something that I have lived through that going back to Fight Club tropes was fairly disappointing to me.

Season 3 is great by the way. It's a debate on if 3 or 4 is the best but it's close enough that there is a debate.

The real meat of the discussion, spare for the events of the final episode where they reconcile, is in how other people treat them and talk about their condition.

Angela Moss is Elliot's childhood best friend and also lost a parent to the disaster that claimed Edward Alderson's life. She discovered Elliot's condition during his breakdown in S1E8 and was brainwashed by the show villain Whiterose in S2E11 (I have a write-up of the psychological principals at play with the brainwashing here).

In Season 3 she acts as Elliot/Mr. Robot's handler and is responsible for helping Mr. Robot continue his hacktivist terrorism without Elliot finding out. She betrays Elliot and exploits his condition. She also tells people about it without his knowledge or consent, which is pretty fucking monstrous in my eyes.

Don't out a person. Just don't do it.

When Mr. Robot asks how she can tell who she's talking to she responds "Your eyes. You're never trying to look away." which is accurate enough that I messaged my girlfriend to be sappy and grateful towards her as the first time she noticed our condition she told me it was our eyes.

From a 2022 IM chat, shared with permission:

"it's ... well, it's [...] your eyes soften, kind of, when going to Cammie. Dawn has this piercing gaze, like she's looking right into my heart and soul. Camden is just very alert, noticing so many things but not the level of piercing. Cammie... her gaze is softer. More focused, but in a ... drinking everything in, rather than seeking it out sort of way"

and added today when I asked for permission to share the quote:

"(for the record, Craig draws his eyebrows down in a particular way that makes his gaze intense in a good way)"

The show works as hard as it can to never let the audience wonder who they are seeing on screen at any time. Most scenes where Rami Malek is depicting Mr. Robot it is a brief perspective view to remind us what the other characters are seeing before switching back to Christian Slater playing the character. There are a few scenes which involve Rami playing the character for a full sequence. One is the context for a flashback where we see a scene Slater performed through another character's eyes where they see Malek.

The others usually involve us being in Darlene's perspective to highlight her unease and uncertainty of what is happening with her brother.

The only scene where it is ever treated as a surprise is when Darlene plants a bug on Elliot's computer while staying overnight and is roughly interrogated by "Elliot", only to realize midway through the conversation "Jesus. It's you".

The camera cuts back to reveal it has been Mr. Robot the entire scene. They avoid that trick throughout the show so it has large impact when it actually happens.

I feel like that scene (as well as the scene where Elliot wears the real Mr. Robot jacket and gives birth to the 2 Stage plan to take down Evil Corp) are important for reminding that no matter how differently Malek and Slater play their roles, to an outside observer they are the same person and when he acts "out of character" it could easily just be an emotional outburst.

Incidentally you can see the physicality of the acting if you go back and watch it again.

The end of the season has Elliot, betrayed, alone and terrified for the safety of his sister; finally reach out to Mr. Robot and open a dialogue.

He even goes out of his way to have this discussion on the Ferris Wheel at Coney Island both as a Season 1 callback and as a sign of trust. Elliot admits in this conversation that he missed Mr. Robot while he shut him out and wants him to be part of his life and in the season finale Mr. Robot says that he wants the two of them to keep talking.

Elliot also finds out that the window incident wasn't his dad pushing him out of a window. They jumped. Elliot asks in a kind and soft way to Mr. Robot, representing both his protector and an element of the loving father he wished he had, "did you know?"

Mr. Robot, the one who jumped. The one who wanted to protect Elliot from Edward says nothing. But he finally feels an alliance form with Elliot.

The road to healing finally has opened.

Season 4: Integration and Fusion

So let's address the elephant in the room right away. The show uses the word "real" to describe the Elliot who existed before the show started and considers him to be the only legitimate alter. There is enough wiggle room within the show to think that is in-universe ignorance but the show does nothing to prevent the fumble at the finish line.

I want to say upfront and before I start dissecting this season that outdated models of DID believed that there was a crack formed in a person's sense of self and that healing involved restoring the identity prior to the crack.

This is 100% UNTRUE and it upsets me that people once believed it. DID is formed in childhood during a time of a person's life (between ages 4-9) where the child is taking in data from their surroundings and integrating it into their socialized survival mechanics to form a personality. The child is working out what traits it can exhibit to receive nurture, care and protection from other humans and will adapt to those processes. Attachment Theory goes into greater detail about how this relates to the formation of psychological disorders, especially personality disorders.

For a traumatized child they will find that their environments do not offer consistent and reliable safety and thus they are unable to adapt to a version of their reality where they are able to maintain stable safety. This may be horrifying forms of physical, emotional and sexual abuse placed upon a child and is often depicted as such but it can also be a confused child trying to get affection from a cold and distant parent or having a parent who abuses alcohol and becomes inconsistent in their ability to give affection and care. Child psychology is a heavy and depressing field, sadly.

The result is that the child never forms a permanent sense of identity. This is a large factor in the formation of Borderline Personality Disorder and is why DID and BPD are so often thrown together within medical treatment and diagnosis. It's at the point of which when my therapist gave me our diagnosis she presented a clinical list of "myths" regarding DID and "BPD is the same thing as DID" was 5 on the list of 6.

The point of this detour is to say that there is no original self. A person who has DID never managed to form a stable sense of identity in childhood and thus they find themselves acting as chameleons in their day-to-day life, adapting to what they feel they need to become in order to receive the things they need from their surroundings. It's why there is a stigma in the BPD community over the concept of being "manipulative". In reality people with that condition are unconsciously adapting to their environment as a survival mechanism. With DID the added layer of dissociation is there to help the self function even when they are forced to interact with materials that are incompatible with their ability to function.

Pre-show Elliot was living a fairly comfortable life but his emotional needs were not met and at the time he was alienated from his sister. He was miserable and lived in a society that he felt was crumbling. His daydreaming gave birth to "The Mastermind" to remove the threats from his reality and Mr. Robot who had been there all along went into Protective Sicko Mode and decided to expedite the process in a way only a protector's morality could.

We'll get into system roles a little later.

The point is that day-to-day life Elliot (Janina Fisher's book "Healing the Fragmented Self" refers to the part untouched by trauma as the "going about daily life" part) is not Real. He is not The Original. Those terms do not exist and are meaningless in this space.

True/Real/Orignal-Elliot is as much a construct as Mr. Robot. He's a version of Elliot who does not have to think about the trauma, he can just live a happy normal life. The kind that Elliot speaks often and derisively about in Season 1.

With that out of the way, I'm going to ignore the bad use of language and talk only about what is depicted on the screen and not said out loud. Because if you remove the misconception about real/original from the mixture, this is a perfect depiction of final fusion model healing.

Season 4 introduces us to the conference table in the inner world. A conference table is a therapeutic technique used in trauma therapy where you bring the alters/parts to a conference. The idea is that it needs to be a neutral ground where everyone is comfortable and able to share their thoughts and ideas. With practice it can be a space one can close their eyes and imagine, seeing their system and allowing communication to happen between parts.

Mine is based on the Minerals Gallery in the Natural History Museum in London. I refer to it as The Library. You didn't need to know that but I didn't want to discuss this section without mentioning it.

Elliot's is the conference room in Evil Corp where he and Tyrell spoke in the first episode.

Interestingly enough there are only 4 seats in this set. I'm not sure what the implication is here as in the scene depicted above Magda (Persecutor Alter) is scolding Young Elliot (Child Alter) for sitting in a chair that isn't his. They mention all 3 alters who are not present (Elliot, Mr. Robot and The Other One).

My thought is that this is the show going all in on the idea that Elliot ("Real") is not an alter and does not take a seat at the table. Which I have issues with.

I'll note as I did with the inner-world that this is a therapy technique and not something Elliot would just have in his mind. It's an accurate depiction of DID treatment but Elliot isn't being treated for DID. Krista is no way near close enough to be able to help Elliot. She's wonderful and deserves the world and more for how she handles things in this season but she's in the pre-stabilization phase of therapy where she knows more than Elliot is willing to accept and needs to wait for him to come around.

Speaking of Krista. Episode 7 is the greatest hour of television rivaled only by Ozymandias from Breaking Bad and the M*A*S*H finale. At present it has a 9.9 on IMDB.

The episode is structured as a bottle episode in way of a 5 act play depicting the stages of grief. This is the episode where Elliot peels back to dissociative layers and understands the truth. The truth of what his father did.

I won't type it.

I don't need to.

The next episode involves Elliot seeing Young Elliot and following him to a museum exhibit with a model of Manhattan. In Season 1 when Elliot had his psychotic break after realizing Darlene is his sister Darlene and Angela checked this location stating it was a place he used to go in times of crisis.

It turns out when he was young Elliot hid the key to his bedroom here to prevent Edward from getting in. All these years later adult Elliot (or "The Mastermind" if you prefer, which I do not) discovers it and has a heart-to-heart with his younger self, screaming into the emptiness that he's sorry for not protecting him. Sorry for letting him get hurt.

The scene is lit in the golden hues that symbolize safety in this show. The final season also takes place during Christmas in New York so it gets to show off that color palette more often which is great for symbolism and aesthetic.

Young Elliot shows that the act of hiding the key from their father was protecting him. It was fighting back. Sometimes surviving is the best you can do and you need to forgive yourself for not being able to do more.

God I love this show so much.

That episode ends with the scene I most want to just overtly show off to an audience.

I already loved the show. The final episode may have broken my heart a little with its talk of "Real" but this scene? This scene gets it.

Prior to the above video clip Mr. Robot cautiously approaches and says "Hey, kiddo". Something he always says. It's who he is. Regardless of anything else he, Mr. Robot, is designed from the father Elliot wishes he had and when he hears Mr. Robot-- no Edward's voice he tenses up in terror, allowing the above scene to take place with Mr. Robot so scared that he has failed as a protector by allowing Elliot to remember and that he cannot be there for him any longer because of who he is based off of.

Those with the condition commonly create alters who are based on the traits of those in the child's life at the time the symptoms developed. I... have experience.

The lines I want to focus on the most are:

Mr Robot: If I could go back in time and change everything that happened to you... just make it all go away...

Elliot: Then I wouldn't be me... *He turns to finally look at Mr. Robot* ...and I wouldn't have you.

The final arc of the show is where the "Mastermind" twist takes center stage and Elliot enters his inner-world and finds out that he created a peaceful reality for "Real" Elliot to exist in so that he is unharmed by the horrors of the world that is crumbling in reality. Mr. Robot, as a protector, wanted to expedite the whole hack and destruction of capitalism in order to rescue "Real" Elliot from the inner-world prison. In time he came to accept "Mastermind" as a part of the whole and not a rogue alter who was endangering the body and their "Host".

S4E13 lays it all down. An imagined version of Krista speaks directly to Elliot and explains the system and their functions. Mr. Robot a father and protector who could prevent Elliot from intolerable situations. Magda, a persecutor who blamed Elliot for the abuse. Young Elliot, who Elliot could push the traumatic situations on, a common thing that many do unconsciously in CPTSD situations, dissociating from the person the trauma happened to, disconnecting until they are just another version of self.

Elliot then says "I guess she doesn't know about you." referring to us, the audience.

Krista(*) looks into the camera and addresses us directly, calling us the voyeurs who pretend we're not a part of it even though we have been here for it all. She even claims we are on her side in getting "Mastermind" to accept he is a constructed personality who was there to lash out at the society that caused him so much pain.

"You loved him so much you wanted to keep him safe, no matter the cost."

The episode ends with "Mastermind" Elliot waking up in a hospital and reuniting with Darlene only to realize that she has known the entire time that the person we have been following throughout the show wasn't her "real" brother.

...and god damn it I hate this element of the show so much.

I'll accept that they had very little time to clean things up and needed to get a way to have Mastermind agree to the fusion. I'll even demonize Darlene and say she was being selfish and ignorant in saying something hurtful because she missed the version of her brother that existed before Fsociety.

But Our version of Elliot says that he loves her and she doesn't reply. Her disappointment and resignation causes Our Elliot to go back inside and agree to the fusion.

The show ends in a first person perspective of Darlene seeing her "real" brother wake up and that's it. I'm glad we never actually see "Real" Elliot, that feels fitting.

Here's the thing about that last minute fumble though.

Let's talk about Integration and Fusion. They are different things.

Integration is when dissociative barriers come down. The system is stabilized to the point of which the alters are capable of communicating openly, sharing thoughts, memories and experiences and every part has the ability to opt in or out as life goes on.

"Functional Multiplicity" is what happens when a system is in harmony, no memories are being withheld and the system is able to go about everyday life with minimal disruption or disregulation. It is a valid goal for trauma therapy and there's a decent amount of medical stigma around it being used as the goal and not a step towards the goal. Many clinicians prioritize the appearance of normalcy over the function of the individual(s).

Fusion is when you go the extra step and take this communication and sharing of memory and experience and as you tore down the dissociative barriers you tear away the division between parts.

A system is made up of parts that make up a whole person and Fusion is the process of all parts uniting to "become" that whole person. It is a valid and normal goal for treatment. It shouldn't be held up as the only legitimate method of healing but it shouldn't be demonized for being an option. I say this because I have seen some people in support communities get real upset when the topic comes up.

The final sequence of the show, prior to Elliot opening his eyes, involves the system at the inner-world conference table agreeing to go through with it and walking towards a cinema screen. Elliot says this will only work if we go too.

The family (and audience) sit down in the movie theatre and memories flood onto the screen and pour out until all experiences and emotions are shared in one pool and Elliot Alderson opens his eyes with all 5(+audience) alters fused into one.

It was almost perfect if only Darlene hadn't have rejected the "not real" brother.

The cinema screen projecting memories, all the thoughts and experiences being shared as the Alderson System accept their parts in the whole and agree to the process? It was a beautiful visualization of a healing journey.

There are imperfect moments here and there. There are great moments I skipped over such as S3E8 (I'm not up for talking about Self-Deletion today) but all in all it's the best depiction of DID for a main character we'll likely get on TV. It's a whole and complete narrative and I love it so much. It makes me feel seen.

[katblaze]

Richie Lipschitz headcanons because I can and no one is able to restrain me in time.

I might draw some of these in the future, feel free to steal all of these ideas for your own art

More under cut

~~~

He picks his lips and usually has a lot of dead skin on them

He stands up at his desk while taking tests/doing team projects

He wears headphones whenever he doesn't want to put his hair up with gel

He goes to a lot of cons

He has embarrassing dirt on Paul (his uncle/caretaker) that he uses to get him to watch anime

Plays super smash bros with all the nerds (main is falco? ((Emma and Richies shit talking game goes hard))

Has LED lights lining his room which almost exclusively stays blue or red

He wears fingerless gloves he bought from amazon for a cosplay out casually

Has a collection of funko pops (keeps them in the box), legos, and pokemon

Really insecure about his appearance (dysphoria?)

Blue hair and pronouns (trans ftm)

He picks at his skin/pimples

He wore fake glasses as a kid cause he thought it was cool

Halloween is his favorite holiday

Really into minecraft as a kid

Shops at hottopic often (refuses to take Ruth into spencers)

He mostly draws comics of really muscly men, robots, and women with wonky proportions

Big white chocolate enjoyer

He jumps up and down when excited

Music taste is midwest emo and vocaloid

Furry. Secretly? (Ruth knows ((probably Paul too but he doesn't really understand))

He wore a fake cat tail to school as a kid (licked his rist like a cat)

Really into the warrior cats series

Owns a collection of long funky socks (mostly anime related)

Only ever had turtles/fish but wants other pets

He itches himself as a stim/when he's overstimulated

Doesn't like to shower often because it's overstimulating/exhausting

Has to put shoe fresheners in his sneakers cause they stink

Wants piercing(s) pretty badly

Used to bring stim toys to school before almost all of them got lost or broken by Max

Uses axe body spray 💪

Back pain due to the worlds worst slouch

Twitter user and discord mod

Eats ramen religiously

He's the love of my life /hj

[dynared]

So doing a slight follow-up to the "Voltron is leaving Netflix" announcement, I should note that it's not exactly Netflix's fault here. Not fully anyway.

Netflix signed a deal with Dreamworks where the rights to the original shows would expire unless renewed. Since then Dreamworks signed a first-look deal with Hulu, then their parent company NBC Universal founded their own streaming service in Peacock (your home for WWE pay-per-views and reruns of The Office). So Dreamworks is merely collecting what is owed. Dreamworks meanwhile, has the option to re-air the show on owned affiliates like Peacock, although when it comes to Netflix originals, they've only done it for one show, a Puss in Boots spinoff, which airs on Peacock.

So now that we've established that this is not Netflix killing a show for taxes, or doing something personal to slight you, the viewer, I do think the timing is very serendipitous for all parties involved. Dreamworks no longer has the rights to make Voltron material, although Universal does have the right to co-distribute the original series still. WEP, Inc, master holder of the Voltron license, sold the rights to Amazon MGM Studios, who, even as we speak, are currently building sets in Australia for the live-action Voltron movie.

With the Transformers recording weaker and weaker box offices (Transformers One lost to Beetlejuice Beetlejuice despite great critical and audience scores), there is now a massive giant robot-shaped hole in theaters since the Robots in Disguise are likely going to be taking some time off.

It also doesn't help that well, Bob Koplar, head of WEP and producer on the Voltron movie, kind of hates Legendary Defender from interviews with the man. He's on record during VoltCon 2020 saying that Dreamworks "did not get Voltron" which is why he was unsurprised that their attempt at a LA script that was going to use Legendary Defender as a base was rejected (leading to Dreamworks losing the license to make new material) and during VoltCon 2023 flat out said that his movie will NOT use the names of the original team, since he didn't want the series to be tied down to those names. So no Keith, Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, and Shiro. Instead, you're probably getting five pilots named Ken, Joe, Ryu, Jinpei, and Jun. (Probably not THOSE names, but you get my point).

So, Voltron leaving Netflix is not really the fault of anything but contract expirations. However, everyone seems really happy with the idea of VLD disappearing forever and being replaced with a brand-new big-budget movie.

[cronch-rat]

Classic who box sets guide

Ever wondered which stories are exclusive to certain box sets or what limited edition ones exist? Unsurprisingly this is a guide for just that.

This covers region 2 DVDs only. Exclusive to boxset features stories only available in that box set. Special edition exclusives feature special editions exclusive to the box set whilst the regular edition is available separately. Non-exclusives can be bought on their own but may have been released early in the box set or in a limited edition box set. All limited edition boxes contain stories available separately and were released in limited amounts or exclusive to certain places/websites.

Note: Logopolis is only available in the Regeneration box and New Beginnings. Terror of the Zygons features in the 4th doctor time capsule but is the only DVD in that set.

Exclusive to Boxset

The Beginning

An Unearthly child

The Daleks

The Edge of Destruction

The Rescue/The Romans

The Space Museum/The Chase

Earthstory

The Gunfighters

The Awakening

Mannequin Mania

Spearhead from Space (special edition)

Terror of the Autons

Beneath the Surface

Doctor Who and the Silurians

The Sea Devils

Warriors of the Deep

Peladon Tales

The Curse of Peladon

The Monster of Peladon

Myths and Legends

The Time Monster

Underworld

The Horns of Nimon

Dalek War

Frontier in Space

Planet of the Daleks

UNIT Files

Invasion of the Dinosaurs

The Android Invasion

Revenge of the Cybermen/Silver Nemesis

K9 Tales

The Invisible Enemy

K9 and Company

Key to Time

Legacy Box Set

Shada

More Than 30 Years in the Tardis

E-Space Trilogy

Full Circle

State of Decay

Warrior's Gate

New Beginnings

The Keeper of Traken

Logopolis

Castravalva

Mara Tales

Kinda

Snakedance

Time Flight/Arc of Infinity

Black Guardian Triology

Mawdryn Undead

Terminus

Enlightenment

Kamelion Tales

The King's Demons

Planet of Fire

Trial of a Timelord

Ace Adventures

Dragonfire

The Happiness Patrol

Special edition exclusives

Revisitations 1

The Talons of Weng-Chiang (special edition)

The Caves of Androzani (special edition)

The Movie (special edition)

Revisitations 2

The Seeds of Death (special edition)

Carnival of Monsters (special edition)

Resurrection of the Daleks (special edition)

Revisitations 3

Tomb of the Cybermen (special edition)

The Three Doctors (special edition)

The Robots of death (special edition)

Non exclusive

Bred for War

The Time Warrior

The Sontaran Experiment

The Invasion of Time

The Two Doctors

Regeneration

All regeneration stories from The Tenth Planet up to The End of Time part 2

Limited editions

Dalek 40th anniversary set (WHSmith exclusive)

The Dalek Invasion of Earth

Resurrection of the Daleks

Remembrance of the Daleks

Third doctor collection (amazon exclusive)

Spearhead from Space

Inferno

The Claws of Axos

The Three Doctors

Carnival of Monsters

The Green Death

Cybermen collection (amazon exclusive)

Tomb of the Cybermen

The Invasion

Earthshock

Dalek collection (amazon exclusive)

same as 40th plus Genesis of the Daleks

and Revelation of the Daleks

Davros collection

all Dalek stories from Genesis to Remembrance

Key to time special edition

[malcolmschmitz]

Hi 👋🏾 what was it like the first time you realized you wanted to write and publish, and did it seem like a daunting undertaking or did you know easily how you’d make it happen?

Hi, Jay, thanks for the ask!

So... hm. I always hate answering questions like this, because My Experiences Are Not Universal. Specifically:

I am a creature of supreme hubris. If you tell me that something is hard to do, my first reaction is "well, I don't know how to do this, but I'm gay, so how hard can it be?"

The first time I realized I wanted to write and publish was when I was, like, ten years old. It was the aftermath to realizing that being a Muppeteer/movie director required you to interact with people, but being an author meant you could do your own thing.

This means that, at the time, I didn't get daunted, because at the age of ten I was the kind of kid I like to write about- smart and brave enough to try for the hard thing, and dumb enough to not realize how hard it is until I backed myself into a corner.

I published my first short story when I was 14, under a pen name, in a tiny online SF magazine that does not seem to have survived. It was an absolutely terrible, maudlin little piece - time travel to cure the main character's disabilities. This particular SF magazine had a section of "discussion questions" under each story, and they ripped me a new one in the questions- asking a bunch of questions about why the time travel didn't work and why the main characters talked like autistic robots.

I was, again, undaunted by this- though maybe I should have learned a little more daunt here- and swore up down left right and sideways that I was going to publish again, in a way that no one would make fun of me for this time! And, well, here I am, with a handful of traditionally published short stories and a book on sub. :)

So, this is not particularly helpful advice for anyone who didn't start writing when they were a middle grade protagonist. But I can give a few tips, as someone who's older, wiser, more anxious, and actually capable of feeling fear:

Learn everything you can. The unknown is always scarier than the known. If publishing looks like a big black box to you, you're going to have a lot more fear of the process than if you know most of what's probably happening. @literaticat on Tumblr, and QueryShark's blog archive, are both great resources for discussing querying and trade publishing; I've also heard good things about the Absolute Write forums. @thebibliosphere on Tumblr talks a lot about self-publishing, specifically through Draft2Digital and Amazon KDP.

Don't stress the statistics. Yes, it's a bad time to be a writer. It's a really bad time to be a professional writer. But if you dwell on the numbers- who's getting published and how and when, and the money you might make or not -- you're going to drive yourself insane. Someone has to make it, and if you keep pushing, that someone might be you.

Cultivate community. Having writer friends to share your successes with- and commisserate about your drawbacks with- takes the sting out of the daunting parts of writing, a lot. Egg each other on! Yes-and each other! Critique each other's work!

Celebrate failure. When I'm submitting a story- short or long- I have a goal for each one- a goal of how many rejections I want to get. I keep track of my rejections and treat each one as a step towards a larger goal. (I think THE CROWNKNAPPERS, my middle grade fantasy-heisty-politicky thing, is up to 3 at this point; To Clear The Air got 3-4, and I was lucky enough to get Hazard Pay through on the first try.

Hope this helps!

[chaisshitposts]

hi love if you don’t mind can you go in more detail about the time you entered the void and manifested your job? what was your mindset like before you entered? what do you think helped you enter? i’m in my 20s as well and really want to at least get my dream job first of all things and then i feel like i could finally relax you know? :( so your help would be greatly appreciated🥹

also i think your followers are really nice and mature so when i do tap in, i wouldn’t mind affirming (everyone who likes my success story and has good intentions will enter roe)

sure! let's see if I can remember as many details as possible— it was a couple days after I had my job interview, I had already been affirmin' my ass off that that job was mine and no one could take it from me— on this particular day, I think it was a Sunday. the lady who interviewed me said I would get my answer on the followin' Wednesday, and god that stressed me out, but I still kept affirmin'. on that day, I felt an extreme sense of drowsiness and so I had went to try and sleep in my bed. I already knew about SATs and whatever so I thought I could just affirm as I go to sleep, which I did. I was 'asleep' but I was still repeating my affirmations over and over, only focusin' on them while I was physically tossing and turning. Since I was tryna sleep, my eyes were already closed and it was silent in my room so ig I just didn't care about my surroundings. I do, however, remember that at some point I was affirmin' and was fully aware of my affirmations but then somethin' changed inside me and I was like 'Its done, nothing more for me to do, I don't wanna stress over this anymore. I can't sleep so, might as well just go back downstairs.' Then I opened my eyes and got up, feeling my stress about everything completely gone.

I went downstairs, right as my ma sat down after gettin' a package off the porch and that's when she gave me my new phone. (I still live with my family, yes, but only bc california is a dirt bag ofc) And I kid ya not, a couple minutes after I opened up the box with my new phone in it, I got a congratulations email from the lady who interviewed me, as well as the offer letter on my old phone. I freaked out afterwards bc I was like, ain't no way??? She said she'd send me somethin' on WEDNESDAY?? It's SUNDAY. I even told my ma and she was excited, then I was like-- I really manifested this??? After an entire year of being unemployed despite havin' my degree, and forcin' myself to work at Amazon and FedEx just to have a lil' change to call my own... I finally scored the job I WANT.

The best advice I could give you tbh is that ya should make robotic affirmin', the list method, and the ten minute method yer best friend. I did not have a good outlook on employment until I settled down and decided to change my thinkin' and god I was still stressed as fuck even when I affirmin'. I've never been good at talkin' to strangers, especially on the phone or on video call, but I affirmed right up until the interview started that the job would be mine no matter what and I was completely calm. Now, I am a step closer to my dream job. (I'm a substitute teacher currently workin' towards my credentials to be a full-time teacher in case ya were wonderin', the company I work for also provides grants to pay for the schooling needed to get credentialed which is such a big fuckin' bonus)

and yes, they definitely all are amazin' people, I never expected to have such a positive lil' community of followers but I am grateful to them, for sure.

bUt, okay, lemme stop ramblin' here's what I wantcha to do anonnie— I want ya to make yerself a list, title it whatever ya want to call the list, and fill that list with affirmations, askformations, statements, new beliefs, whatever ya want. could include anything ya want, details about the job ya want, how much money ya wanna make, how ya want the bosses to treat ya, what kinda work environment ya want, whatever, and then I want ya to include some self-concept affirmations, as well as some affirmations about the void (whatever feels natural for you), ah and some manifestation affirmations too. make it however long or short ya want, doesn't matter. once ya have that, read it over as many times as ya want and then throughout the day, whenever ya can, I want ya to robotically affirm that you've got everything on [name of yer list], say this whenever ya can, and especially when ya start thinkin' negative about whatever you desire or whenever ya feel like you're about spiral. affirm this through everything and anything, affirm if ya can't help but cry, affirm when yer angry, affirm when yer happy, just keep affirmin.'

as long as ya keep this up and correct yer thoughts, you'll have guaranteed movement in yer life, that's the law. even in false hope, whatever is repeated shall harden into fact.

[goose-books]

please check out @yvesdot's remastered debut! trust me, it's worth a read and a reread and a re-revisit. for the blog tour, i give you... another blast from the past, an old-fashioned writeblr-style comic sans powerpoint!

Something’s Not Right, published by tRaum Books, will be released October 10th 2023 and is available to preorder at Amazon, Bookshop.org, and itch.io. It will also be available upon release signed from Bookshop Santa Cruz. yves. will also have a local event at 6:30 PM on October 12th at the Santa Cruz Diversity Center and another on January 4th 2024 (to be announced) at Bookshop Santa Cruz.

(my sixth favorite story is koschei, btw. shoutout to koschei. sorry i left you off the slides)

(slides described under the cut)

all slides are written in white comic sans on a black background.

slide one: text reading "FIVE reasons YOU should read" over a cropped image of the cover for Something's Not Right, featuring the title. smaller comic sans next to the image reads "by yves."

slide two: at the center of the slide, text reads "1. IT'S GAY!" smaller text boxes, scattered around the slide, read:

so many transgender people

you want fluff? we got fluff. you want angst? we got angst. you want high octane drama? we got it

you like metaphors for queerness? we’ve got metaphors for queerness

some characters’ identities are plot relevant! some of them just happen to be trans!

there’s even an m/f couple i actually like!

there’s literally a lesbian robot what else am i supposed to say

first book where i ever saw a they/them lesbian referred to as a woman and they at the same time <3 <3 <3

you want monsterfucking? we got—

between the first and third boxes is this image of feathers. beneath the monsterfucking box is this image of a halo/eclipse. beneath the they/them lesbian box is the anakin image from this post, reading, "dyke business. go back to your drinks"

slide three: the top of the slide reads "2. CLEVER USE OF TROPES AND TALES." the bullet points beneath read:

the author was a lit major & lovingly: it shows

fresh takes on everything from sexy vampires to demigod/human romance

do you like russian folklore? do you wish it was set in your high school

hansel and gretel story followed immediately by wlw fairies

STORY WHERE VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN GOES TO A PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE

an arrow points from the sexy vampire bullet to an image of edward cullen, captioned "this guy isn't in there." another points from the frankenstein bullet to a picture of the book Frankenstein, captioned "this guy is, tho"

slide four: at the center of the slide, text reads "3. DELIGHTFUL NARRATIVE VOICE." smaller text boxes read "the sheer range of the range of character narrations in this book is impressive and so fun" and "we got teen talk we got litfic prose we got monsters narrating we got ordinary people." there are also three quotes from various stories, set in speech bubbles:

“Everyone’s cousin Tanya says she’s done it with an elf dude. That doesn’t mean shit.”

“And all of these things were true, and simultaneous, and all of them were occurring only a moment before she might be killed, and rise again.”

“At first, the plants seemed quite innocuous, and Ephraim watched them pile up on the windows of the little greenhouse with mild curiosity.”

there is also an edited image of the "she doesn't have the range" meme, reading, "they have the range."

slide five: the top of the slide reads "4. DON’T LIKE ONE-OFFS? NO PROBLEM!" the bullet points beneath read:

do you prefer your short stories unrelated to each other? completely tonally variant?

SNR has got that!

do you prefer your short stories interconnected? do you like recurring characters? do you want to see… characters from OTHER yves. projects?

SNR has got that too!

smaller text boxes read "Red and Eliza from Forest Castles are there!" and "maybe avner too. i'm not allowed to say"

there is also a picture of hannah montana's "best of both worlds" album.

slide six: the top of the slide reads "5. THERE ARE NEW STORIES IN IT!" the bullet points beneath read:

already an SNR fan? already have a copy? you haven’t yet read the new content!

THREE new stories

what if the alien abductee you were interviewing had questions… for you?

what if you had to love-potion your crush… for someone else?

what if you had to come out to your date… AS A MONSTER?

there are clipart images on the side of an alien spaceship, a bubbling potion, and a lit candle.

slide seven: word art with a glowing green shadow reads "max's favorite stories :)". each story blurb goes with a corresponding image:

Six Hours Under: the woman on the L train is crying, dead, and very very pretty. [clipart of a train]

Monsters and The Guy: there’s a guy in Arrivals. he’s being weird about it. [clipart of an airport]

The Hands and The Mouth: the story-speakers speak only in script. there are only a few of them left. [clipart of rolling waves]

Don't Feel Guilty: a teen’s plant collection starts to unnerve their father. [clipart of a leaf]

Blood Orange Tea: getting trapped at work with your crush is awkward even when you’re not a vampire. [clipart of iced tea]

slide eight: large text reads "THANK YOU. GO FORTH AND BUY SNR." in smaller text is the information paragraph from this post.

[jasper-is-autistic-old-blog]

howdy! today i wanna talk about the aac system i use and go over how i use it

im currently using the app Coughdrop on an Amazon Kindle Fire 7. the version from 2022 i believe, which i think is the most recent. it was the least expensive new tablet i could get.

it's in a foam case that looks like Spiderman! i chose all black because it's unobtrusive and goes with my aesthetic but it was also available in red with black eyes and some other colors

i currently use a board called vocal flair 112. i previously used quick core 112 and this is similar, but has a built in on screen keyboard. which means i get less buttons on the home page but it's fine because i found myself pulling up the keyboard frequently to fill in the gaps even with that many buttons.

here's a screenshot, i haven't edited this page, i just use it as the default:

i don't actually make it speak aloud often when im out in public. the person with me who's supporting me (usually my mom) reads my screen if i need to talk to someone else. this is almost purely out of anxiety. the fear that someone will not hear me the first time, that they wont listen or won't understand, that someone will overhear a robotic voice and stare, etc. but it's an improvement over my previous method of texting my mom, pointing at menus, and mumbling or whispering until i either gave up or she finally managed to hear me.

i use this feature in coughdrop to have her read the screen:

it's found under the "repeats" section. it makes a large button you can press to voice the selection or you can have someone else read it.

i also quickly wanted to show my two "advocacy" boards. one is a premade board that ive edited and the second is made by me from scratch. i think im going to combine them eventually, but ive been lazy about it

these don't reflect my current "public use" pronouns, but that's fine.

my speech has always been pretty intermittent and unreliable in some situations, but more recently ive experienced some skill regression that makes it harder than ever to use verbal speech. even when relaxed and comfortable, typing or using aac is easier for me. and when even slightly stressed or overwhelmed or even overly happy or excited, it's very hard to impossible to get any words out.

im hoping to get better about actually using the voice feature instead of showing people my screen. the only time ive ever actually used aac to communicate with a stranger i showed them my screen. i have a lot of anxiety about not being heard which im sure comes from the fact that my voice doesn't always work and that's pretty scary at times. it seems im both afraid of not being heard and being heard but being made fun of or dismissed. im not sure what would be worse.

anyway, sorry for the anxiety tangent.

im hoping to get a strap for the case soon so it's easier to carry around. i tend to have several things with me at all times, my phone, talker, Nintendo switch, my small backpack, and a stim toy or comfort item. it's nice when i manage to cut back on what im carrying and it works out well, but sometimes i just need all those things to get through a situation.

i don't actually own the coughdrop app. im using a free version. it times out after about 15 minutes and you have to exit and enter again, as well as other premium features not being available. i was hoping to eventually save up for it but the price has increased recently to the point where it is out of my budget. maybe if i get a job eventually? even then im not sure if i can justify the cost. the monthly price also went up, which sucks. c'est la vie.

if you have any questions at all, im happy to try to answer! inbox or ask box or reblogs or anything works.

thanks for reading!

[aggro-crap]

Every thought I’ve had while watching Glass Onion again

I have a million thoughts about Glass Onion and I need to get it off my chest!

First of all, I really need the people calling Blanc’s accent “bad” to just stop. He is from Louisiana...his name is fucking Benoit Blanc for fucks sake! That’s a Louisiana/Cajun accent. For those who don’t know, “southern” isn’t a singular accent the same way “european” doesn’t describe any specific accent. It’s a generalization. Every southern state has slightly different accents and cadences that define each region. 

SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT

So Miles Bron is obviously a clear depiction of Elon Musk, we see details hinting to other billionaires as well through wardrobe and props. The very first scene shows Claire getting her box from Miles delivered by an Alpha Courier van...Amazon Prime anyone? Even his clothes throughout remind me of billionaires like Musk and Steve Jobs. 

Duke’s mom calling him dookie cause he’s a piece of shit. And then casually solving the “genius” puzzles from across the room, she’s a treasure.

Yo-Yo Ma giving us a little lesson in classical music. This entire movie is a name drop.

Blanc in the bathtub on a zoom with Natasha Lyonne, Stephen Sondheim, Angela Lansbury, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. How the hell do they know each other? Did he solve cases for them? Does he know them through Phillip? And the hesitant denial when Phillip asks if he’s in the bath again is pure domestic excellence, that is his home now. 

As someone who worked retail throughout the pandemic, I had a visceral reaction to Birdie’s sparkly mesh “mask” (and then she has the audacity to say she can finally breathe again when she doesn’t have to wear it at the pool!?). With each mask and the way they’re wearing them (or not wearing them) we know exactly what kind of person each one of them is. Though I can’t quite figure out why Andi isn’t wearing one, either to facilitate the scene with that dramatic reveal or does Helen make the conscious decision to not wear it because Andi wouldn’t have worn it? Also high tech snap bracelets? Sure I guess. 

Approaching the island Lionel asks if the dock is a Bansky, and the captain says “piece of shit” and just lets him believe that’s the name of the island in greek. That shit is so funny. But also, wouldn’t having a glass dock be totally slippery and dangerous? Like I can just imagine his contractors telling him its dangerous and not advisable to have it set at low tide and him just being like I know more than you just do it my way!

The way Duke pimped out Whiskey to try to get Miles to do what he wants just kinda breaks my heart. It shows that he knows she’s smart and capable but the uncontrollable hurt on his face when he sees them hug is gut wrenching. I cannot believe I feel bad for this dude, Rian Johnson you are masterful.

The look on Miles’ face when he sees Andi arrive on the island and then when he sees her again after he shoots her is fucking priceless. It’s very ‘why won’t this bitch die?’ Either she chose not to tell him she had a twin sister or this is just another example of his stupidity. 

Derol. Just Derol. I saw someone else on here mention that he’s a personification of covid and it blew my mind. He’s always drinking Corona and saying ignore me I’m not here? Fucking genius. He almost accentuates the absurdity that is Miles Bron when he’s giving his little introduction speech and Derol walks through followed by the robot with everyone’s bags. I cackled!

Also I’ve never heard the term “flat tire” for an untied shoelace before and I will absolutely be using that from now on!

The hourly dong? Assigning rooms by chakra? His little bracelets and shit? Its screaming fake namaste bullshit.

Benoit is such a shady bitch for referring to the box as children’s puzzles having not really seen any of the puzzles because Helen smashed it. Easily one of my favorite moments in the whole movie. 

Jared Leto’s hard kombucha...

I’ve never met a person with a serious allergy, let alone deadly, that does not carry an epipen for emergencies, like wtf Duke? But that fancy lil gun you got there never leaves your side cause you never know what’s gonna happen right?

When Blanc tells Birdie “It’s a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the truth” and her only takeaway is “Are you calling me dangerous?” Like girl if he is then he’s calling you dangerously stupid! Which is absolutely the truth.

Miles handing Peg a red solo cup is sending me through the roof. That motherfucker had to go out of his way to get that for her! There’s plenty of glassware in that room and he just had to give her a fucking plastic cup like she’s not worthy of anything more. I could’ve killed him right there for that tbh. 

The entire concept of Miles buying the Mona Lisa just because he can, and then installing his own override of the security built to preserve the most famous painting in the world which then becomes the reason it gets destroyed reminds me of Kim Kardashian ruining Marilyn Monroe’s dress for a fucking red carpet. She did it because she wanted to be associated with her, not out of love or respect for the actual piece of art. Don’t get me started about altering Michael Jackson’s clothes so her child can wear them. I’m not sure of the timeline but I think that was also something that happened after the movie was already done so I’m starting to wonder if Rian Johnson has some of that Simpsons prediction mojo.

I love how excited Blanc gets to reveal the mystery. Every time he is downright giddy, at least until he realizes how dumb Miles is which infuriates him because he hates dumb games.

Honestly building a literal glass onion on your own island because you miss you favorite bar where you met your friends and want to relive the glory days is one of the saddest and most pathetic billionaire antics I’ve ever seen. 

Why did Claire’s husband call her and she ignored it? Is that the moment he got the news about Andi’s death? But Duke doesn’t get the notification until after she leaves the room. 

I like how we’re constantly reminded of the Mona Lisa’s presence with the security door shutting in response to what’s happening in the room. It almost feels like an additional character. 

I just love how the second act starts at exactly the halfway point. It really satisfies my brain having so much time to go back and dig through all those glass layers.

Who’s out here thinking that Phillip is a professional baker with all that flour on his face?! That man is just doing his best in a pandemic with a partner that lives in a bathtub.

Janelle Monet is so fucking talented it hurts

I don’t like the way Birdie shouted at Andi on the boat that she shouldn’t be there. Like wtf. But I love when Birdie shows Peg the email and she immediately knows that Birdie didn’t actually mean any harm she is just so dumb she really thought sweatshops are just a place where they make sweatpants. Peg is a real one.

That little notebook stopped a whole bullet wtf?

Omg why can I feel that drop of hot sauce running down my face 

I really hope that after this at least some people start seeing through the lies and misdirection used by these billionaire con artists and politicians but I fear I may be asking too much of the general public. That’s why ben shapiro went on his little twitter tantrum about terrible writing or whatever. Like bro if you’re not smart enough to understand symbolism in cinema, especially when it’s literally spelled out for you step by step in this particular instance, then there’s this little thing called not saying anything at all. He just doesn’t want to be exposed for what he and others like him are actually doing. ~~misdirection~~

I’m sorry but if it were me I would’ve put that napkin in my pocket or something not just held it out for him.

Benoit Blanc really just gave Helen the tools to take that fucker down and just waited at the beach with Derol to watch it all burn. And finally smoke his cigar I’m so happy for him. 

If there’s one thing I respect about Birdie its the respect she has for these pieces of history being destroyed, even when Miles drops Paul Mccartney’s guitar on the beach she’s like so concerned and I feel that.

My take away from this is that I am already so excited for Knives Out 3, I could watch an infinite amount of these movies. 

[hotforharrison]

I initially missed the public records update document, but as of this afternoon, all of the divorce documents have been filed with the court. The final decree has been sent to the judge to go over. They told me to call back this coming week to check if she signed it.

My only concern about her signing it is that my ex-husband gets the house. We couldn't afford a lawyer, so we've just had a verbal agreement that we plan on getting onto paper and notarized that I can stay here without paying rent or utilities for a few years while I get my life sorted out (find a secure and stable job that pays enough that I can live on and pay off my debt), in lieu of selling the house and getting half. I'm also not asking him for spousal support.

Yesterday was the 14th anniversary of the day we got engaged, all of four days before we got married back in 2010. Monday would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. It would be kind of ironic if the judge signs the decree on Monday, the beginning and the end on September 16.

One of my cats, Indy, has an open wound on his ear that I'm hoping I don't have to take him to the vet for. (I will if it is necessary, though. I talked to my ex-husband about it, and he came over and looked at Indy's ear himself to see what he thought. We adopted Indy when he was 11 weeks old in July 2015. He's not just "my" cat.)

I've been flushing Indy's wound with saline 3 times a day. It had scabbed over. He's been wearing a cone I got on Amazon that's made of foam material and seems to be comfortable for him. However, during a much needed nap I took earlier, his ginger brother, Ripley, licked the scab off and cleaned the area, opening it back up. I wasn't happy.

I have a Litter Robot and a regular litter box. Indy can't use the Litter Robot because of the cone not fitting through the entrance. Ripley can't use the Litter Robot because he is chonky and can't fit inside very well. (I'm trying to work on that, but there's a major issue of my third cat, Little Kitty, not wanting to eat on a schedule. She goes on a hunger strike when the food isn't free fed.)

My mom was kind enough to get me a regular litter box and some extra litter and wound wash on Amazon to be overnight delivered between 4am and 8am, so I can tend to Indy's wound better and separate Indy and Ripley when I'm not able to supervise them.

The state vocational rehabilitation program was supposed to pay for my tuition for my medical billing and coding program. They have not done that yet. I have an appointment next week with the counselor there to discuss that, but it's really stressing me out because I don't have $12,000 sitting around to pay for the tuition before the deadline.

Anyway, combining those things, I am coping poorly. I did manage to get my coursework done for the week, though, by some small miracle. It was kind of a lot, since the modules are only 8 weeks long over the course of 12 months. The program has a shorter length but larger load. I needed it that way because I'm operating on a deadline.

School is my overall highest priority right now, securing my future. I only have a few years to sort my life out before I have to pay for rent and utilities.

I'm not sue where I'll end up after the period of not paying rent or utilities ends. Maybe here, if I can find roommate(s) and afford it.

Rent has gone up astronomically since my ex-husband and I rented in 2013. Our very nice and large 2 bedroom was $900 a month then.

Now, that gets you a much less nice studio or MAYBE a one bedroom in this area.

My primary concern is the roommate(s) situation.

I'm not going to rush to move in with a guy because that's unwise in a variety of ways. My ex-husband and I dated for over 3 years before we got married and moved in together. (Those things were tied together because he was lower enlisted in the Army at the time and had to be married to live off post.)

We had roommates twice during our time living together, and both situations panned out very poorly in terms of living up to the terms we set out and payment of rent -- especially the latter.

Our second roommate paid us rent exactly twice out of the ten months she was there, and we also paid for her moving costs because she was moving in with us from out of state. It was always one excuse after another, until we finally had enough and told her she had to find somewhere else to stay.

The clean up after she left of the room she rented plus the bathroom she used took me 16+ hours. It was disgusting. We let her use a very expensive and nice mattress that had been gifted to me when I got married, and she destroyed it. She didn't use sheets for some reason, and the smell was gag worthy and there were stains on it.

But I don't know if I'll be in a position to afford the full rent and utilities without a roommate.

The average Medical Billing And Coding Entry Level salary in Texas is $42,340 as of August 27, 2024, but the range typically falls between $38,329 and $46,557.

If I make on the lowest end of that, I can afford $950 a month in rent if 30% of my income goes to rent.

As far as staying in what used to be my martial home goes, if my ex-husband even charges me just the cost of the mortgage without any extra added on, that would be $300-400 more than I could afford if the roommate situation didn't work out.

I don't think he'd leave me homeless, but finding reliable roommate(s) would be extremely stressful, since it would ultimately be up to me to find them. I don't think he'd put up with a revolving door of me trying to find reliable roommate(s) and failing.

And I wouldn't blame him either. He eventually wanted to rent out this house long-term, and it shouldn't cost him money to rent it out. He should be bringing in a profit on a rental property.

I find myself wondering if maybe it would be "easier" to find a small one bedroom or studio where I don't have to worry about roommates causing me financial issues.

I don't know. My long-term plans are up in the air right now.