#Anakin was having force visions exactly like what happened before his mother died those visions hit right into his deepest fears and

[kyliafanfiction]

Padme didn’t just “lose the Will to Live” because Anakin fell.

She was witness to three years of horrible war, while she constantly and desperately tried to hold a government she loved and had dedicated her life to defending together, in the face of creeping autocracy and systems breakdown. She endured the stress of maintaining a secret relationship, hiding it from friends and family and all the people in her life.

She then not only saw the man she loved turn to fascism, but murder hundreds, thousands of people, including people she knew, and watched the Senate fucking applaud the death of liberty and the rise of the Empire - organized by a man who, whatever their political disagreements, had once been a treasured mentor and even probably a friend once.

She watched her life’s work burn, and then - and THEN her husband, the man she loved, not only turned on her, but tried to fucking choke her to death and nearly succeeded. THEN after all that, she gave birth in what appears to have been a particularly difficult birth (I can’t imagine nearly dying helped), and the compound psychological and physical stresses killed her.

It’s really not fucking hard. 

But no. It’s just ‘George Lucas is baffled by the Uterus’. Because it’s so much easier to say that than to engage your brain for five seconds.

[levelofyoureye]

since beating jedi survivor, i haven’t stopped thinking about kata: her relationship to the mantis crew, the effect that the ending will have on her, and the role she might play in the third game…

(jedi survivor spoilers ahead)

i don’t think there’s any doubt that she’s going to have a big role. but at the same time, i also don’t know what exactly it’s going to be yet. my initial thought was that in the next installment, cal takes her on as an apprentice and decides to train her in the ways of the force. i mean, kata is likely force sensitive—it makes sense, right? and we’ve seen how well games that have an older mentor/younger child dynamic (i.e. god of war, the last of us) do.

but the more i thought about it, the more that i start to suspect that isn’t going to be the case.

something i’m realizing the more i reflect on his character is that cal is probably hesitant to take kata on for multiple reasons. at the end of the game, bode gives his life doing what he’s convinced will be best for kata. though we as an audience obviously know that this isn’t likely what’s actually best, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s convinced of this and dies for it. before cal kills him, he even asks: “when the empire comes, will you be able to protect my little girl?” bode betraying cal doesn’t mean that cal didn’t see him as the brother he never had. he only kills bode when he refuses to stand down, and to an extent he probably understands that bode is driven by the desire to protect the people he loves. i think that now that bode is gone, cal is going to feel the need to be kata's protector. and we all saw the vision he had in fallen order of what would happen to the force sensitive children he took under his wing—dead at the hands of the empire, and he was unable to protect them. it's a risk that he probably won't want to take with kata, just like he didn't want to take it with all of those children.

another factor that i think will make cal hesitant to teach her is that he's fighting his own internal battle. he first taps into the dark side on nova garon, and though merrin is able to break through to him then, he doesn't stop using it throughout the rest of the game. he almost loses himself completely to the darkness, which he even admits in the final scene. and merrin tells him that he'll never be alone, that he has his chosen family to guide him back to the light. but even then, there's a reason that jedi ban attachments. who's to say that he won't eventually turn to the darkness because he wants to protect his family? it's what ended up happening to bode, and obviously what happened to anakin (though cal doesn't know this). throughout cal's journey, we see him fight several fallen jedi—trilla suduri, taron malicos, masana tide, bode akuna, and dagan gera. he knows how easily a jedi can turn, how easily they can use their gifts and abilities for the worse. and the thought that it could happen to him, that it did almost happen to him, frightens him. his struggle with the dark side isn't going to end with this game, and he'll probably battle with it for a while. in what world would he ever be fit to be a mentor when he's still struggling not to lose himself? cere tells cal at the end of the game to guide kata through the darkness—but how could he possibly do this when he isn't even able to guide himself?

kata is still a young child, not even ten years old yet. her father is gone, and the memories that he'll leave behind for her are likely complicated. i mean, in his own rage and in his effort to protect her in the final fight against cal, he ends up hurting her. she's grown up with her father constantly being on missions and leaving her by herself, distancing her from him in the process. at the same time, she also acknowledges that the death of her mother changed him for the worse. and she doesn't know the full extent of bode's horrible actions. she begs him to back down in the final fight not because she sees him as evil, but because she knows that if he doesn't, she's going to lose her father too. this leaves me to wonder—how is she going to remember him? and how will it affect her relationship with cal? kids who lose their parents often want to remember them in a good light. not always, but it isn't a rare occurrence. and i wouldn't doubt it if that's what kata chooses to do going forward. though she befriends the mantis crew afterwards and doesn't explicitly hold a grudge against them for killing her father, i think that the underlying pain and grief of losing a parent is still there. cal and merrin kill her father right in front of her. that isn't something that anyone could ever expect to fully recover from. and that isn't something that just goes away, especially with kata being so young and having to process it as she grows up.

i'm not saying that kata is going to be the main villain of the next game, or that she's going to grow up to despise the mantis crew. but i think it's very likely that her relationship with them is going to be somewhat strained as she tries to make sense of who her father was and the decisions he made for her. maybe she's angry with cal for never telling her the full extent of what her father did, or maybe she's angry with herself for being the catalyst of his betrayal. either way, i do not see her just simply being okay and completely moving on from everything that's happened to her the same way that i do not see cal just simply being okay and moving on from his battle against the darkness. they're both going to struggle in the next game, and i think it's going to affect their relationship to each other drastically.

[darthkruge]

hello lovely!! i’ve been getting back into star wars lately and i’ve been loving your fics!! and i was wondering if i could make a request?? sort of like,, anakin but he doesn’t turn to the dark side type thing?? like he maybe confesses he’s scared to lose you and you help him through it?? maybe obi wan helps out?? honestly you can take it however you want :)) ty ty

anakin skywalker x reader || rewritten

summary || a rots fix it fic where i take many liberties and give anakin a support system + everyone gets better communication and we think about how it would perhaps end differently

warnings || hella canon divergence, angst w/ a happy ending, some violence (non graphic and not super described)

words || 5.1k (i am legit shocked)

a/n || hello and thank you!! i’m so glad you’ve been loving my fics! this fic was honestly super challenging for me and it ended up being the longest thing i’ve ever written. i made some big changes and lots of smaller ones, but each one was fully intentional. i really, really hope y’all like it <3

main masterlist || anakin masterlist 

gif credit

-----

Anakin awoke with a start, chest heaving and covered in sweat. He was gripping the blankets as he tried to ground himself, frantically looking around as if to discern between reality and the horrid dreamscape his mind created. He whipped his head to the side, visibly relaxing as he saw you staring up at him, a confused look on your face. 

You were no stranger to Anakin’s nightmares but this one seemed unlike any he’d ever had. You slept curled into him and, thus, his jolt caused one of your own. Unsure if he wanted your touch just yet, you reached out to him with the Force. Panic, loss, grief, fear, terror, insecurity. You looked into his eyes, watching as they slowly cleared and he registered your presence. He blinked quickly, trying to clear the tears from his vision and gave you a slight nod. 

Reaching a tentative hand to his shoulder, you suppressed a gasp as you felt him shudder beneath you. You quietly whispered his name and placed a finger under his jaw, guiding his face to yours. You nodded back at him and opened your arms in silent invitation. He crawled into your embrace as you pulled him impossibly close to you, situating yourself against the headboard so you could better wrap yourself around his shaking body. Choked sobs erupted from his lips, each one tearing a hole in your heart. As he finally let himself cry with his face buried into your neck, you held him. By the Maker, you held him. 

He didn’t want to speak just yet and you understood. You’ve always extended the same respect back to him as he gives to you. Tucked into you, Anakin’s fingers squeezed into your flesh, as if trying to remind himself you were solid. You placed a few kisses into his soft hair and onto his forehead, hands running up and down his arms and back. You physically pressed reminders of your love into his skin for hours and, somewhere in the midst of your embrace, he let himself fall into a state of limbo. Unawake, unasleep, umoving, yet feeling everything you had to offer. 

----

When morning came, you reached out once again. The emotions from last night were still evident, just not as strong. Simultaneously, you allowed a small smile to come to you as you felt something new. Warmth, comfort, love. You ran your fingers through Anakin’s hair to pull him to consciousness, needing to see his eyes. Stars, his eyes. While they were absolutely gorgeous, they also always gave him away. You once told him that. “Only for you, my love.” He’d replied. 

“Hi.” He croaked out, meeting your gaze. Your eyes fluttered closed for a second as you took a deep breath in relief. His eyes were clear. You didn’t know how long the shadows would be banished for, but as long as they weren’t constant, you had hope. 

“Hi, baby.” You whispered, allowing yourself to give him another forehead kiss, made easy by your position that you’d somehow remained in throughout the night. You looked at him expectantly and knew he knew what you were asking.

“You… you died,” Anakin started. His eyes were already filling with tears. “It wasn’t clear. There was so much blood. And you kept begging me to help you. You screamed and screamed and screamed and you were in agony and…” 

You took his hand in yours, squeezing his fingers in encouragement to go on.

“I never- I never came for you.” He spit the words out as if they were venomous and shook his head. You could hear the self-hatred in his words, the way he couldn’t grasp the concept of hurting you, ever, and yet how seriously he took this. 

“Hey, hey. Stop, my love.” You said, hoping to pull him out of his spiral. “You would never harm me, Anakin. You would come for me, you always have. That was a horrible dream and I’m so sorry you had to experience it. But it was just a dream, Anakin. It’s not real.” 

He pulled away from you as if he couldn’t stand to feel your gentle touch. “No, no, no! It-” His words were cut off by his uneven breathing, his pulse racing as he relived the nightmare. “It felt like the ones I had about my mother. It felt… prophetic. I’m scared, Y/N, I can’t lose you.” 

You walked over to him, placing your hands on his cheeks and rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones, hoping to calm him. “You won’t. It takes a lot to kill me, you know? Especially when I have you by my side.” 

Anakin nodded but you could tell he was unconvinced. 

“How about you talk to Obi-Wan about the dreams? He’s always helped you before.” You suggested. 

While normally this would be unthinkable, as it would expose your relationship, Anakin felt himself pulled toward the choice. Inwardly, he admitted that he could definitely use a friend right now. And Obi-Wan had always stood by him. Somehow, he just knew that now would be no different.  

------

Obi-Wan easily swung the door open with the Force before Anakin even had a chance to knock. He knew his former Padawan’s force signature like the back of his hand and had sensed his distress for days. Unbeknownst to Anakin, Obi-Wan had canceled his missions due to this, wanting to stay close for when Anakin eventually came to him for guidance. 

Obi-Wan looked up from his paperwork as he realized Anakin refused to come closer. Huddled behind the door frame, a conflicted and fearful look on his face, Obi-Wan was struck by how similar Anakin looked to the little boy he’d found on Tatooine all those years ago. Many nights, young Anakin would come into Obi-Wan’s room, plagued with nightmares. Just as before, Obi-Wan never turned him away. 

“Something’s troubling you.” 

Anakin sighed, taking a tentative step forward. “You know Master L/N?”

Obi-Wan smiled knowingly, having a sense of where this is going. “Yes, of course. A brilliant strategist, much like yourself.” 

“I…. I’m involved with them, Master.” 

“Involved?” Obi-Wan replied, with a quirked eyebrow.

“Please don’t punish Y/N for this, I know the Council frowns upon relationships. If you need to report it, I understand. But just report me, say they had nothing to do with it. But before you do anything please, Master, listen to what I must tell you. I wouldn’t unless it was absolutely necessary.” Anakin pleaded. 

“Anakin, I know.” 

“Yeah, I mean it truly is necessary-” 

Obi-Wan placed a comforting hand on the younger Jedi’s shoulder. “You misunderstand. I mean, I know.” 

Anakin’s eyes widened with realization before confusion filtered into his gaze. “But we were so careful!” 

“Not as much as you would think,” Obi-Wan said with a slight laugh.

“And you’re not upset?”

He sighed. “Being honest, I was a bit at first. Anakin, you know the rules and you can be so reckless at times! But how could I fault you for your own humanity? And I knew who you were when I met you. I was always aware of your compassion, your capacity for emotions.” Anakin nodded and smiled, but the faraway look in his eye never wavered. 

Clearing his voice, Obi-Wan continued. “Are you alright, Anakin?” 

“No.” The strength of the word shocked them both and caused Anakin to take a moment to compose himself. “They’re dying.”

Panic flashed through Obi-Wan’s expression. “They’re what? What happened? Was it a mission? Do the medics know? Is-” 

“- No, nothing… nothing yet. But it will.” While Obi-Wan didn’t exactly understand, he could tell through Anakin’s tone that his former Padawan believed this with his entire soul. 

“I’ve been having more nightmares.” Anakin said. 

“Like the ones with your mother?” 

Anakin nodded, his gaze muddled as his mind wove through every possibility on how to save you. Coming up with none, he looked up quickly, the lost confusion clear. 

“It’s going to be alright, Anakin. We’re going to do this together.” Obi-Wan offered, trying to comfort his friend. When Anakin nodded this time, his expression had more hope in it. Obi-Wan returned the gesture, tipping his head as Anakin walked out. Before Anakin reached the door, Obi-Wan called his name. 

“Talk to me if you feel troubled. About anything, my friend. And just know… it’s okay to feel afraid. And you’re no less a Jedi because you love them. At least, not in my eyes.” For the first time since he’d walked in the room, Anakin gave a true smile. His former Master inhaled deeply, realizing after hearing those words, Anakin looked more like himself than he had in a long while. 

----- 

A few hours and a Council meeting later, Anakin walked back into your chambers, closing the door with a huff. He wasn’t enraged, per se, but definitely conflicted. You approached him cautiously, heart falling when you saw those familiar clouds back in his eyes. 

“Did Obi-Wan not take it well?”

Anakin shook his head. “It’s not… he was supportive. But the Council has assigned something to me and…” He trailed off and looked at you. Only then did you see his bloodshot, puffy eyes. 

“What did they ask of you, Anakin?” You questioned, coming behind him to gently massage his tense shoulders. 

“I’m needed to spy on the Chancellor. Apparently there’s a Sith Lord somewhere in the Order. They suspect him.” He tried to keep his voice strong, but you could see how torn apart he was by the inflection in his tone. 

You took a breath and tried to process the information. “Will you do it?”

“I don’t know… if the Council tells me I must, then I must. But the Chancellor has only been good to me. I worry about betraying him but I don’t want to let down the Order. I’m not sure how to do this without causing someone harm.” He confessed. 

“They shouldn’t have put you in this position, it’s unfair. And you don’t have to, Ani. I know it feels like you do but you don’t need to bend to each of the Council’s requests. Whatever the fallout, whatever you choose, please know that I’m with you. And so is Obi-Wan. Not that it fixes anything, but at the very least, you’ll always have us.” 

Anakin turned around so he was facing you. “I don’t know what to do.” He whispered, voice laced with hopelessness. 

“Trust yourself. You have a good heart, intelligence, and strong morals. They’ve never failed you before.”

He nodded before leaning into you and your arms instinctively wrapped around him. Your fingertips found their way to his hair, gently weaving through the golden strands. 

“We’ll get through this, yeah?” While it was a question, you both knew you meant it as a statement.

“We’ll get through this.” Anakin echoed. He mumbled the words into your neck where he had buried his face. As if the words could seep into your skin. As if the hope could find its way to your heart and stay there, ever protected, ever true. 

-----

The next day, Anakin found himself in Palpatine’s office. He was wary, guarded. It was evident by the look on his eyes, the way he took a moment before taking another step. It was his training as both a Jedi and a General that allowed him to do this. The careful complexity of planning every move. 

“I heard the Council debating whether or not they should have made you a Master. It seems they do not trust you or value your talent as they should.” Palpatine’s words made Anakin freeze. Rationally, he knew this was wrong. At the very least, Obi-Wan trusts him and so do you. But there was a part of him that felt so validated by the Chancellor’s words that he wanted to hear more. To bask in them, in feeling wanted and appreciated. He hated himself for it. 

“I… I’m not sure what you mean by this.” Anakin attempted not to give himself away any more than he already has. 

“Well, they care about your potential. But they hold you back. They’ll never show you your true power, for they don’t want you to understand. They just wish to use it, no matter your own fate.” 

“I feel cast aside. Like I don’t matter.” Anakin wasn’t even sure why he shared these words. Somehow, in feeling so praised, the doubts just bubbled their way to the surface. He felt like a child in these moments, so painfully fragile. 

“You don’t. Not to them, Anakin. But with me I can teach you your power. I can teach you the ways of the Dark Side. I know of your fears, of those nightmares that plague you. I know about your secret marriage and how close you are to losing it all.” 

Anakin froze, his heart hammering in his chest. His thoughts raced as he tried to piece together the truth from all the lies. The mentions of Darth Plagueis. The Dark Side of the Force. 

“You’re the Sith Lord!” Anakin said, igniting his lightsaber and pointing it at the older man’s chest. 

Palpatine bowed his head slightly, a small smile gracing his lips. “Well done, my boy.” Anakin felt sick as he noted the pride in his tone. And yet that aching part inside him still swelled, ever so slightly.

“Now, don’t do anything rash.” The Chancellor reasoned. “Only the Dark Side can save the one you love.” 

Anakin wanted to do the right thing. He wished to be the one who could stand up and arrest Palpatine without a single ounce of guilt or regret. But as soon as Palpatine mentioned you, it’s like all his logic disappeared. He just wanted to save you, to not fail you as he’d failed his mother. But then he thought back to your words. “Strong morals.” And to his Master’s. “We’ll do this together.”

“I’m turning you into the Council.” 

“Wouldn’t you prefer to kill me?”

“Yes.” Anakin’s remark was forceful and clipped with anger.

“Then do it. Give yourself over to your wrath.”

He felt himself burning with betrayal, with resentment toward both sides. Even so, he could still tell right from wrong, selfless from selfish. And whatever Palpatine was doing… it certainly did not have the will of the people in mind. Without so much as deigning him with another response, Anakin turned and walked out of the room.

“If you turn me in, you’ll never save them!” Anakin tried to will Palpatine’s voice out of his head as he ventured back to the Council chambers. When he arrived back, he decided to slightly alter his plans. While he knew he must face all of them eventually, he wanted to talk to Obi-Wan first. Perhaps his Master could give him guidance, like he did about your nightmares. 

“General Skywalker… are you alright?” Anakin stumbled as he walked right into another figure, too caught up in his own head.

“I’m fine, Master Windu. Thank you- I’m sorry.” Mace looked at the younger Jedi with an unreadable expression. While there was much in his eyes, concern was definitely a part of it. 

“Have you seen Master Kenobi?” Anakin said after a brief pause for composure. 

“He’s supposed to leave for his next mission any moment now. If you hurry, you can probably still catch him.” 

Anakin thanked Master Windu before taking off in a run. No matter how fast his legs carried him, he felt his mind was working even faster, the internal conflict brewing more intently by the second. 

-----

Obi-Wan opened the door as soon as before Anakin could even knock. He looked at Anakin and gestured at a vacant chair, a silent invitation to sit. Anakin shook his head quickly. The younger Jedi’s eyes were scattered and conflicted, as if he’d been shaken to his very core. 

“Palpatine is the Sith Lord.” The words came out rushed, yet clear. As if Anakin needed to get them out as quickly as he could but replayed them in his head until they were all he knew. The intensity showed Obi-Wan that there was no doubt in his friend’s mind. 

Obi-Wan blinked. “Okay.” He stroked his beard, trying to find the words to say. “Are you alright?”

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan in confusion. Certainly there were more important questions his former Master would want to ask than that. 

“I know you and the Chancellor were close. This can’t be easy for you. I just wanted to ask if you were alright.” 

“I’m not sure.” Anakin said after some hesitation. “I don’t really know what to think… Palpatine is evil, right? But he believed in me when no one else did. He saw my potential, allowed me to confide in him. He told me he could show me how to save Y/N. Would someone evil do that?” 

Obi-Wan’s eyes softened as he looked at the painfully conflicted young man in front of him. “Anakin… he was manipulating you. He was isolating you so you had no one to turn to but him. It was a tactic, a ploy. He doesn’t care for you.” Anakin looked so heartbroken that Obi-Wan knew Anakin believed him. “I’m so sorry.” 

“But what about Y/N?” Anakin asked desperately.

Obi-Wan sighed. “Loving someone in the Order isn’t easy. Especially after everything you’ve gone through. And losing someone… it changes the way you love. You fear constantly, wondering when your love will evade you. When it will fall apart, like all the rest. But living like that, loving like that… it leaves no room for growth or peace. And that’s what relationships are for, aren’t they?” His voice was filled with compassion and wisdom. From experience, perhaps? Regardless of the reason, Anakin was reminded that someone did understand him. Despite the circumstances, he felt content. At least a bit. 

“Is there any way to save them?”

“I’m not sure. Let’s focus on Palpatine for now, alright? And we’ll bring Master L/N with us so you know they’re safe.” Obi-Wan wished nothing more than having a set solution to save Y/N. But some things were even out of his grasp. “I know this must be impossible for you, Anakin. I truly am sorry.” 

Anakin nodded. After all, it was true. If there was anything to describe the impending threat of losing another person he loved, impossible summed up the process. “I know. You’re doing all you can. Thank you, Master. And yes, I would like to bring them with us.” 

Obi-Wan clasped a hand to Anakin’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze as they met each other with a smile. “I’ll send them a message right now.”

----

You gasped when you received Obi-Wan’s message with the details of the Supreme Chancellor’s truth. Your heart cried for Anakin, knowing the betrayal must be breaking him. All you could do was wish that with Obi-Wan’s help, the two of you could support Anakin until he felt like he could breathe again. And you had faith in him. You always had faith in him. 

Grabbing your cloak, you jogged to Obi-Wan’s quarters. As soon as you opened the door, you ran to Anakin and hugged him to you, needing to feel his presence. Somehow, you knew he needed it, too. 

“Ready?” Anakin and Obi-Wan gave you nods of confirmation and you gave a tentative smile. “Alright. Let’s do this.” 

-----

Anakin entered Palpatine’s chambers first. For once, he felt sure of himself. He finally knew what he had to do. His gaze shifted to you, making sure you were alright. You placed a hand on his arm, rubbing your thumb up and down to reassure him. He inhaled. Exhaled. And ignited his saber. 

“I knew you’d come back, Skywalker. I knew you’d join me.” 

“Think again.” Obi-Wan responded as you and him walked into the chambers. Pure, unfiltered rage flickered through Palpatine’s eyes in response.

“Anakin, they’re trying to corrupt you. They’re trying to keep your power. Come with me, boy, and I’ll teach you all you wish to know. I’ll teach you how to save them.” He said, pointing a pale finger toward your face. 

You let out a sharp breath as you suddenly understood Anakin’s conflict. Of course Palpatine was using you as a bargaining chip. Using Anakin’s fear of abandonment, of losing his loved ones against him. It was disgusting, even for a Sith. 

“I… you can’t possibly know how to do that. It’s impossible!” 

“Not on the Dark Side. Look… Obi-Wan has turned them against you. He’s the cause of this! I’m sure he didn’t even pose a solution to saving Y/N. It’s because he doesn’t care about you, not like I do.” 

The shadows returned to Anakin’s eyes as his gaze switched between Obi-Wan and Palpatine. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at you, to see the pain in your eyes as he struggled with a choice that for others would be so simple. He hated himself for being weak but he truly couldn’t fathom losing you. 

Obi-Wan stepped forward, backing Palpatine against the wall and pointing his lightsaber at Palpatine’s throat. Anakin stepped back, too frozen to move, and unconsciously placed himself between them and you.

“It’s over, Chancellor. Don’t make this more difficult than it already is.” Obi-Wan said.

Palpatine shot lightning from his hands, causing Obi-Wan to deflect the matter with his lightsaber, redirecting it to Palpatine himself. As Palpatine shook from the force of his own blast, he once again called to Anakin.

“If you let him kill me, dear boy, Y/N will die. If you don’t try to save them, you will be the cause of their death.” 

Anakin’s eyes widened, those words hitting him right in the chest. He moved forward, pointing his lightsaber at Obi-Wan but refusing to make the final cut to end his life. Obi-Wan looked like he wanted to speak but the effort of holding of Palpatine’s lightning rendered him useless. It was Obi-Wan, after all. His former Master, his friend. The one person who he trusted with the secret of his marriage. He couldn’t kill him, right? He faltered, stepping slightly back. 

“Ani,” You said, your voice calm as you tried to reason with him. “Ani if you do this, you can’t come back from it. I know you don’t want to lose me and if you kill Obi-Wan, you will, regardless of the fate of my life. You aren’t too far gone, yet. You haven’t done anything irredeemable. Remember who you are, my love.” 

Anakin heard your words and looked at your face. You. He wanted to do good by you, to do good by all of them. He wanted to make his mother proud, make himself feel like leaving her for the Jedi Order meant something. And then his gaze filtered over to his friend. Obi-Wan stood tall against the force of Palpatine’s lightning, reminding Anakin of his friend’s strength. It was something Anakin wanted to emulate, too. 

Understanding his choice, Anakin took a step forward to position the blade toward Palpatine’s chest. His hand was shaking, movements unsure, eyes glossed over with immeasurable pain. But before he could make contact, you swiftly moved in front of him and killed Palpatine instead. Obi-Wan was thrust backward as the lightning ceased, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Why would you do that?” Anakin asked as he looked at you. 

“I didn’t want you to have to kill your friend. No matter what he turned out to be.” You said as you shifted on the balls of your feet. The weight of Palpatine’s death now weighed on your soul, as do those of every life you’ve ever ended. You could bear it and you knew Anakin was strong enough to do so, as well. You just didn’t want him to have to. 

Anakin nodded and whispered a thank you back to you. You just smiled, the love for him clear in your expression. Anakin turned around, walking to his friend and extending a hand for him. 

“I never doubted you.” Obi-Wan said simply as he met Anakin’s guilty eyes. 

“I should have made the choice to believe you earlier. I shouldn’t have let him get to me. I’m sorry, Master.” 

“Look at me, Anakin. We all struggle with our morals. We struggle and we’re unsure and we pray and hope to land on the right decision. And you did. You have nothing to apologize for.” Looking at your and Anakin’s arms around each other, Obi-Wan made one last decision. “How about the two of you retire for the evening? I’ll debrief with the Council, you’ve been through enough.” 

Once again, Anakin was struck by the older Jedi’s strength and selflessness. He nodded, as did you, before he accompanied you back to your quarters. 

----

You kept one arm around Anakin’s waist the entire way home, mirroring his that was around your shoulders. You couldn’t bear to separate, not after the events of the past few days. Seeing Anakin so torn up inside, it was eating away at you. Knowing you couldn’t save him was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to deal with. 

Now, Palpatine was finally gone. There was no more threat to the Jedi Order, the Force once again balanced. But both of you still understood the one solution that hadn't been found: how to save you. It made everything easier, that you chose to kill the Chancellor. Anakin refused to voice the doubts in his head, wondering if he actually would have gone through with it knowing he would lose his chance at saving you. 

The air was melancholic surrounding you both. Heavy. Neither of you knew what to say, words failing in a moment that was so conflicted it almost overwhelmed you. But your heart warmed as you saw Anakin scamper in front of you to open and hold the door for you. You loved him so much, for doing the little things even in moments like these. It gave you hope.

You were okay with death, so long as it only affected you. When you joined the Jedi, you had to make your peace with it. But after you fell in love everything changed. You didn’t want Anakin to go through the pain of losing you. He’d been so open with you about, well, everything. Especially his past. He’d gone through so much, felt such raw pain and loss, you didn’t want to add to that. 

Taking his hands in yours, you looked into his blue eyes. 

“I don’t want you to die.” He whispered, the desperate, deflated tone making your heart break. “I won’t.” You wished to say, but you knew you couldn’t. 

“I don’t want to die, either.” You chose these words instead, relying on their honesty. 

“Palpatine could have saved you.” Anakin said after a beat. 

You sighed. “You don’t know that.” You stated, knowing it wouldn’t change how he felt. 

“Neither do you!” 

“But at what cost? At the cost of losing your soul? Anakin, you would have had to join the Sith! That’s no longer you! You’re good and you couldn’t have saved me if you were there, don’t you see that?” You pleaded. You wished he would see your logic, the truth behind your words. How even though he thought otherwise, he made the right decision. 

“What good is saving the Order if you won’t be a part of it?”

“What good is saving my life if I wouldn’t have you to live it with?” You countered. 

Anakin let out an exhausted breath before pulling you into him, hugging you. The fighting was too much and, frankly, he didn’t want to argue. Not with you, not ever. You both let out a humorless chuckle as you leaned into each other. 

“I love you.” His tone conveyed it all. 

“I love you.” You replied, your voice muffled from being pressed into his robes. 

“Can we sleep? I don’t want to face this right now. Can we just put this aside, if just for a moment? Can I lay with you and can you hold me and can we just have each other?” You questioned breathlessly.

“I would like nothing more, my love.” He smiled slightly and pressed a kiss to your head as he added the words of endearment, wanting you to understand he wasn’t upset with you. You already knew that, though. You were in love with Anakin Skywalker. Of course you’d argue from time to time. But at the end of the day, you were two hopelessly in love Jedi just trying to save each other. 

Crawling into bed, sleep came for the both of you quickly. You were holding him and he was holding you, tangled together as you nestled his warm embrace. He tucked his face into your neck as you did so and savored the feel of you next to him. Safe. 

Drifting off, Anakin tried to fight the pull of sleep, knowing he’d just suffer from another nightmare like he had every day since the first one. One where you’d die and he could do nothing to stop it. Amidst these tumultuous thoughts, his breathing evened, lulling him under. 

You were in the grass, a flower crown atop your head. Anakin was leaning against a small house. It was quaint but beautiful. Small, not outwardly flashy, but full of love and meaning. Looking around, he smiled as he saw green vines crawling up the sides of the house, a garden of your favorite flowers out front. You always had a soft spot for that. 

We are on Naboo, he realized. It was peaceful. It was the dream you always talked of together. Anakin’s breath caught as he felt the certainty of this dream. It felt just like his nightmares, except this one left him content. He didn’t want to entertain the thought for too long, afraid of jinxing it. But he knew it was prophetic. He wasn’t sure how he changed his fate, what exactly gave him this future. Something inside him just knew that when he wakes up the next morning, all will be okay. He felt infinitely lighter as he understood the threat was gone. 

When you looked up and saw him, you raced toward him and jumped into his arms. Anakin stumbled but caught you, breathing in your scent as you kissed the side of his neck. As he held you, his thoughts slightly wandered. But he was grounded by your presence, reminding him that you were safe and he was okay. With you, he was finally, completely, home.

-----

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[alittlefrenchtree]

Aaaand we're back at it and things are getting serious.

SPOILERS DUNE (Book II : MUAD'DIB, Chapters 10-11)

Chapter 10:

For a unknown reason this,

has become "twenty kilometers" in the french translation. So it's not as big as I thought but it's still quite big.

So the apparent goal of the Fremen is to plant trees (how ironic for a Timmy movie 😁) but they have to do it secretly because... Because with trees there wouldn't be as much spice and people who control Arrakis don't want that? I'm trying to simplify a hypothesis here so I can start caring a bit more about the political plot of Dune. I don't know if it's true.

Did I already wonder if Arrakis was Earth? What is left of it anyway. With all that water deep underground, that could mean something but I haven't really paid attention to details for that theory.

I'm less interested to the first part of the quote, which feels quite common than by the second and the importance it give to individuals. I'm not sure what I think about it yet, but it's interesting. Tell me more, Stilgar.

I'm starting to like this guy.

Ok, I don't know if we didn't talk about this yet or if we did and I already forgot,

but I haven't paid attention to the words used to talk about the prophecy and if it ever mentions a boy or if it's a genderless word every time like child or offspring. I don't remember ever seeing anything about a boy? Because this Bene Gesserit is going to have another kid. And based on how much Star Wars is "inspired" of Dune, do I have to consider that the Chosen One is not the one we expected but someone else from his family? Will Paul go full dark side and is the young sister going to bring balance to the Force? We'll see.

There is something mentioned in this chapter and in the next one that intrigue me a lot:

and this:

I wonder if it's because on something on Arrakis, like the Spice or if someone purposely did something. And if so, who?

So. We need to talk about the end of this chapter. It is part of the answer I was looking for, isn't it? I think?

I really feel like these last couple of pages are a gift celebrating all of my birthdays at the same time so I couldn't be happier. I'm not sure it's going to be the most interesting thing to read but I'm going to try to rephrase all that it says about prescience to sort my thoughts out and be sure I have understood everything.

So first, future in the Dune universe is not predefined timelines set in stone. Paul sees some of them, maybe too much of them for them to all be intelligible for him (yet?) but there are too many, each of them able to sprout from the tiniest changes, including one I hadn't considered before but that is very clever. Which is that, every time Paul accesses to prescience, he makes the future shifts by this very access to prescience.

But, even more amazing amazingness:

Quantum mechanics!! Remember when I was obsessed with it a few months back? Now I have the perfect excuse to make time to read about quantum mechanics again 😍 I'm so happy 😭

Edit: couldn't help myself and start reading about Heisenberg indeterminacy and omg it's amazing and it's even more amazing used it at a way to illustrate prescience. For those who understand French and are interested, I recommend this short and easy access video. But is exactly what's happening with Paul. Future reacts to him like quantum particles react to light. Why are quantum mechanics always so amazing? 😭

But let's go back a few lines above because:

First, Herbert was brillant for using the lexical field of water to talk about Paul's visions of the future. I mean it says it all by itself, isn't it? And secondly, am I supposed to read there that the blind spots of prescience are directly born from fear and that the litany is here to make the blindness go away or, to make the subject survive through blindness or am I not? Like when it says Fear is a mind killer, it isn't just a way of speaking, a psychological thing but a way of saying Fear makes you lose your prescience capacity?

And,

I absolutely love to see stillness making a comeback with an image close that what I have in mind. I can't wait to see what it will look like on screen. Given what I saw of Villeneuve's work already and the second Dune trailer, I trust him completely with this part. The inspiration is going to be amazing, the fan arts are going to be amazing, everything is going to be amazing.

I love and admire Herbert a lot for what he has done here with the end of this chapter and prescience in general. Trying to explain how a brain can apprehend concepts and principles that are too big, beyond everything that can normally be grasped by a human mind. Feeling the brain expands as it tries. Accept concepts that are opposite, contradictory even and still both true. It's really the kind of things I was expecting when I start reading so I'm very happy to see it deliver (and i need even more of it).

Chapter 11:

I was talking about religion vs propaganda last time and how maybe it wasn't that different for some aspects but... Bene Gesserit are religious people aren't they? I mean Jessica does pray. I don't know what or who she prays but she believes in the power of it.

"If I could only pray -- truly pray."

And by this truly pray, I suspect it's not only a matter of belief but the prayer does have real power. I'm-- confused about what kind of beliefs BG has given (more or less willingly) to Fremen (and probably other people around the universe as well). Is the religion only based on Bene Gesserit's powers? Is it a religion they believe in themselves? And for what purpose? Only create safe places for themselves or something else?

I also wonder why Chani is helping Paul so much as well? The guy just show up from nowhere and she already gives him tips to help him kill one of her people. It's weird.

Of course there are so many parts of the fight that made me go omg I can't wait to see Timmy play this. Gimme the fighting machine trained since the day he was born.

The after-fight is really interesting:

"Jessica stared at her son. Paul's were bright. He breathed heavily, permitting the ministration to his body rather than helping them."

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

This kid is going to be the death of me, isn't he? But Jessica bringing him down right after is kind of funny. From a semi-god to a child in one quick mental slap of his mother 😁

I've already talked about the tiny jumping mouse Muad'dib but it's really amazing. I wasn't expecting that at all. I'm guessing the mouse will have a bigger purpose at some point? No sure. What I'm really wondering is if I should expect Paul to go full Anakin on me? Wait. Oh. OH. Jessica is the one bringing him down so he doesn't grow so full of himself for killing opposants but what if she's gone? What if she dies, like Anakin's mom and, like for Anakin, the mom's death is one of the first steps leading the son to dark side? Damn. We see there are several futures where people walking behind Paul or the Atreides and setting worlds of fire (and not planting trees, obviously). It goes without saying that I would love, love to see Timmy plays a character who go dark side. Not sure if it will be the case here, but it could be interesting.

Ok, it's already long enough with only two chapters so I'm going to stop this for now. I have to read first anyway. See ya! 🌖💛

[pandora15]

(Bedridden AU Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 5)

Bant lead Anakin out of the Halls to one of the smaller meditation rooms, saying that it was best if they spoke in private.

It made sense, Anakin supposed, but something about Bant’s need for secrecy made him worry even more.

There was something about Obi-Wan that Bant knew.  Whatever it was, it explained what was happening to him right now, and it seemed like it was something deeply personal to Obi-Wan.

After Bant closed the door, she moved to one of the meditation cushions, motioning at Anakin to sit across from her.  Anakin sat, looking expectedly at Bant.

The Mon Calamari let out a long breath, her eyes bright and expressive.

“Anakin,” she said finally, voice soft, “this is something extremely personal to Obi-Wan.  I had hoped he would tell you eventually, but...”

Anakin closed his eyes as an image of Obi-Wan staring up at him with glazed eyes, shrinking away from him, calling him Vader for some reason.

“I’m telling you this so you can help him,” Bant continued, voice shaking slightly.

Anakin nodded, and Bant exhaled again, as though she was preparing herself.

“This is...not the first time something like this has happened to Obi-Wan.”

Anakin blinked, shock worming its way through his veins, freezing his body to the spot.

The Force shuddered.

Bant frowned.  “Well, the stroke was a first,” she amended.  “It never got that bad before.”

Anakin swallowed.  “What do you mean?”

Another sigh, and Bant’s shoulders slumped.

“We were very young—Obi was about five years old when it all started, I believe.  We were both in the crèche, in the same clan, as I’m sure you know.”  Bant’s eyes met his, and Anakin felt the urge to look away at something else, anything else.

He didn’t.

“Obi-Wan would sometimes get visions during the night,” Bant continued.  “At first, they were mild.  He would get tired from the lack of sleep, but short naps during the day would help.”

Visions?  Obi-Wan had never mentioned that he had visions in the past.  In fact, when Anakin was having visions of his mother’s death before Geonosis, all Obi-Wan told him was that dreams passed in time.

And, of course, that did not help matters when his mother died anyways, despite Anakin’s efforts to save her.

“Then, the visions got worse.”  Bant’s voice trembled slightly.  “We would hear him screaming during the night, every night.  The crèchemasters eventually had to separate him from the rest of us while we slept, and they had to take turns monitoring him.”

“Does that happen a lot?” Anakin asked.

“To other people?” At Anakin’s nod, Bant sighed.  “Well, sometimes other younglings would get the occasional intense vision or nightmare, and the Masters would separate take them to another room to console them and bring them some peace.”

“Right,” Anakin said, remembering the few times he had volunteered in the crèche as a Padawan.  He’d witnessed it himself, but it was a rare occurrence.  In fact, visions that intense were limited to only a few Jedi.

He just never realized that Obi-Wan was among those few.

“But this was happening every night for Obi-Wan, and eventually, they got so bad that Master Yoda had to come in and help.”

It was a well-known fact in the Temple that Master Yoda was well-versed with visions.  He remembered, in the horrible days that followed Geonosis, Obi-Wan gently suggesting that Anakin speak to Yoda about the visions he had about his mother.

In a fit of furious rage, Anakin had brushed him off, though he also knew that going to Yoda may easily result in the Grandmaster finding out exactly what he had done to the Tuskens after his mother died, and...

No.  That couldn’t happen.

“Despite Master Yoda’s efforts, it didn’t help, and the visions were getting worse,” Bant whispered, eyes wide and distant.  “Obi-Wan wouldn’t sleep at all, and his connection to the Force was beginning to get tenuous.  Despite that, the visions still came.”

Her voice trembled, and Anakin watched as she pressed both hands to her eyes and took deep breaths to center herself.

“Then what happened?” he croaked.

Bant shook her head, pulling her hands back into her lap.

“Then, Obi-Wan began having waking visions during the day,” she said simply.  “It was nearly unheard of in the crèche.  Master Yoda had only witnessed it once before, centuries ago, and even that was only one time.”

Anakin’s blood ran cold.  “Waking visions?” he asked.  “Are they visions that happen while the person is awake?”

Bant shuddered and nodded.  “They’re awful.  They usually led to seizures, and afterwards, Obi-Wan would be delirious and in a lot of pain.  He would talk about things that didn’t make sense at all, including someone named Vader.”

“You’re not the first person he called by that name, by the way,” she murmured, and Anakin felt a rush of relief at her words.

“Does he remember the visions afterwards?” Anakin asked, remembering hearing about visions that were often forgotten in the throes of sleep.

Bant shrugged.  “Sometimes, but he’d never say anything.  They were terrible, that’s all I know.  Master Yoda or even some of the older crechèmasters might know a little bit more, but Obi-Wan refused to say anything, even when I asked.”

Anakin couldn’t imagine what it must have been like, to see Obi-Wan see horrible visions, day and night, without mercy.  And he was only a child at the time, which made things even more awful.

“Not long after that, he was admitted to the Halls,” she said.  “He didn’t sleep, barely ate, and his body was barely able to sustain itself under so much strain.  It was...the crèchemasters told us, one time, that he would most likely join the Force.”

Anakin’s heart leapt to his throat, and he swallowed.

“But that didn’t happen,” he protested with a feeble voice.

Bant nodded.  “Just as quickly the visions came, they stopped,” she said.  “It took a few months for Obi-Wan to recover enough to return to the crèche, and even longer to be able to return to lessons and activities.  By the time he did, he was about a year behind the rest of his year-mates.”

“Did they ever figure out why they stopped?” Anakin asked.

Bant shrugged a shoulder.  “Obi-Wan always said it was the will of the Force, which is a bunch of bantha-shavit, if you ask me,” she snorted.

Anakin closed his eyes and uncrossed his legs, stretching them in front of him.  He was reeling from everything Bant just told him, and he wanted nothing more than to run back to Obi-Wan and cry into his shoulder.

Instead, he took a deep breath.

“So the visions have returned?” he asked.

Bant nodded.  “It happened very suddenly,” she murmured.  “After Obi-Wan returned from Felucia, he said he felt slightly under the weather and requested leave from the Council.”

She shrugged.  “In hindsight, he might have had a few visions during the mission.  Commander Cody did report some concerns about Obi-Wan’s health, but I think the Council thought it was just exhaustion and war-related stress.”

“But that was over two weeks before Ahsoka and I returned from Bothawui,” Anakin said, tilting his head.  “I remember because Obi-Wan sent me a transmission after he returned to the Temple.”

Bant nodded.  “I noticed that he seemed to be really tired whenever I spoke to him, but I assumed it was the war, not—”

She cut herself off, squeezing her eyes shut.

“He was deteriorating fast, Anakin,” she whispered.  “When I was beginning to think that maybe his visions had somehow returned, I was too late.”

Swallowing, Anakin nodded in understanding.  Everything made sense now—the hallucinations, the uncertainty, the hiding...

Whatever he expected Bant to tell him, this wasn’t it.  If he was being honest, Anakin didn’t know what to expect, but he assumed it would be something less complicated.

This...made no sense.

“No one knows how the visions started?” he asked softly.

Bant sighed softly, shifting to stretch out her legs.  “That’s why Master Che was running tests before,” she explained.  “But things are getting worse much more quickly than last time, and Master Che is running out of options.”

Anakin’s mouth went dry.  “Then...what now?  What do we do?”

Bant’s eyes closed, her mouth forming into a thin line.

“We hope,” she replied, voice cracking, “and prepare ourselves for the worst.”

In a split-second, Anakin was on his feet, towering over the Mon Calamari healer.

“No,” he gritted, voice sharp and volatile.  “We can’t just give up; there must be something—”

“Anakin, we’ve tried everything we could think of,” Bant said, looking up at him with bright eyes.  “Master Che and Master Yoda are researching whatever they can to find a solution, but...”

Blinking slowly, Anakin felt the heavy pressure of tears building behind his eyelids, as his vision blurred.

“I’m sorry, Anakin.”

Anakin forced a few deep breaths through his nose, willing the tears back, forcing his voice to work.

“I can’t—I can’t lose him,” he rasped, voice shuddering deep in his throat.  “I’m—”

The shrill beeping of Bant’s commlink cut him off mid-sentence, and Bant brought her wrist up to her face, accepting the call.

“Bant here,” she murmured, voice thick.

“Master Eerin,” an unfamiliar voice chirped urgently.

“Yes, Vyna?” Bant answered, sitting up properly as her forehead creased in deep concentration.

“It’s Master Kenobi,” Vyna said, voice crackling slightly.  “He’s awake again, and it appears that he is lucid.  He’s asking to speak with you right away.”

A whirlwind of emotions flickered through Bant’s face, so quickly that Anakin couldn’t make sense of any of them, before her features settled on neutral determination.

“I’m on the way,” she replied.

(Bedridden AU Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 5)

[kalinara]

I know you love Lukey Lou, so I wanted to ask: Why did you like his character arc in TLJ? A lot of people, including myself and Mark Hamill, felt it was poorly written and out of character.

A lot of people who hate TLJ LOVE to pass around Mark Hamill’s extremely out of context quotes about his INITIAL reaction to learning about Luke’s arc.  When he discusses the final product, he is a lot less negative.

But even if he dislikes TLJ, that’s okay, that’s his business.  Death of the Author applies to everyone involved in the creative process, and it’s okay for fans and showrunners/writers/actors to see a character in a different way.

I think though that a lot of critics of Luke’s arc in TLJ miss that it’s just that.  An ARC.  Luke at the beginning of TLJ is not the same person as Luke at the end of TLJ.  He has his own despair and trauma to face.

Luke, in TLJ, doesn’t read all that different from Luke in Legends to me, fundamentally.  It’s just that they’ve faced different things.  There are points in Legends where Luke suffers despair and depression just like he does in TLJ, but there are also other factors going on.  Luke has his order, for one.  And the Yuzhan Vong war.  He has Mara, and Ben (Skywalker), and Jaina.  He has his students and everything else to help him keep from giving in to those emotions.

Luke in TLJ is from a continuity that doesn’t have these things.  He doesn’t have a wife and child.  He doesn’t have his Order.  And Luke has a more personal connection to Kylo’s fall than he had with Jacen’s in Legends.  By the time Jacen had fallen, he’d graduated Jedi training.  He had his own life and issues.  And Jacen never really retaliated (or was the unwitting tool of retaliation) against the Jedi Order itself.  

But as Luke sees it, he’s directly responsible for Kylo’s fall.  He blames himself.  I personally disagree with Luke’s assessment, and I think the Last Jedi does too.  Luke gave in to a moment of weakness and fear.  He had a vision that told him (correctly!) that Kylo was or would become a monster.  A lot of folk hate the idea that Luke would, for one instant, even consider killing his innocent nephew.  But I think they miss or ignore that a) Kylo was a grown adult, not a child, b) the Force vision WAS CORRECT: Kylo DID become a monster that would massacre (multiple!) villages, murder unarmed old men, and be a direct participant in child slavery and genocide, and the most important c) Luke STOPPED HIMSELF.

I don’t personally think it’s out of character for Luke to momentarily give into fear and despair.  If he had ACTUALLY killed Ben Solo, that’d be one thing.  But he didn’t.  He stopped himself.

It’s interesting though to parallel Luke’s reaction to those events with “Ben Solo’s” own, because as much as I’m skeptical of the comic book series’s retcon of Kylo’s responsibility for the destruction of the Jedi Temple.  I do like how it expressly puts Kylo and Luke in the same position.

Ben (a grown adult, I reiterate) wakes up to find his uncle standing over him with a lightsaber.  His uncle doesn’t actually strike, but it’s understandable that Ben lashes out at that moment.  He thinks he killed him.  He’s horrified.  And Palpatine acts.  The Temple is destroyed.

So when you think about it.  Ben and Luke are in EXACTLY the same position in the immediate aftermath of the Temple’s destruction.  As far as I know, neither one of them is aware of Palpatine’s direct role in events.  All both of them know is that they suddenly found themselves in positions causing great fear and anger, they lashed out in said fear and anger against someone that they loved, and as a result everything was destroyed.

Now both characters had the option of going back to Hosnian Prime.  Leia and Han love both characters.  They would have listened to their explanations as to what happened.  They would have been horrified and angry, but they would have forgiven them and focused more on what they could do to help fix things.

But both characters blame themselves for what happened.  And both characters believe that they’ve done something unforgivable.

What’s important though is what happens next.  Now me, personally, I don’t mind the comic retcon because to me, the destruction of the Jedi Temple was always the least of Kylo’s crimes.  It was awful, of course.  But there’s a difference between a sudden act of fear and rage (see also: Anakin’s destruction of the Tuskan village) and the kind of deliberately evil deeds that Kylo Ren does later.

Regardless of whether or not Kylo lashed out and brought down the temple at that moment, he DEFINITELY stood in the middle of Tuanil, looking out at the army he helped to enslave and brainwash, and ordered them to fire on disarmed, pacified civilians.  (If Finn, who was brainwashed and surrounded by commanding officers and comrades who could kill him in a heartbeat, could realize “no, I’m not doing this”, then Kylo, who was GIVING THE ORDER, could have stopped this as well.)

There’s a point where characters have to own their choices.  Even if Kylo didn’t feel like he could go home, he didn’t HAVE to join a organization that’s been enslaving children and planning genocide.  He didn’t HAVE to take part in the violence and murder.  He could have done what Luke did.

Luke went into exile.  And I see fans attack that choice as “cowardly” or “selfish”, but I disagree.  Yes, Luke could have chosen instead to go to Hosnian Prime.  He could have gone to Han and Leia and he didn’t.  He could have tried to hunt down Kylo.  He could have joined in the fight against the First Order.  He could have been a hero here, like he’d been before.  

But we’ve seen what happens when a very powerful man, prone to self-loathing and despair, decides to do the “selfless” thing and become a hero.  That’s the Clone Wars in a nutshell.  What if Anakin had, after Attack of the Clones, looked around and said “Oh my god.  I just lost my mother.  I just massacred a village.  I  can’t be a soldier right now!  I need to deal with the horrible thing I’ve just done!”

We might still have had the Fall of the Republic and Order #66 (Palpatine isn’t one to discard his whole plans), but we probably wouldn’t have had Darth Vader.

And Luke knows that.  He saw what his father became.  And if anything, Luke’s more powerful than Anakin ever was.  Look at what he did on Crait.  We’ve never seen anything like that.  Look at what he can do AS A FORCE GHOST.

Now imagine what THAT would be like on the Dark Side?

I don’t know if I believe that Luke was ever seriously in danger of going Dark Side.  He isn’t prone to externalizing anger and lashing out in the same way Anakin was.  (Leia, I think, might be in more danger of that, depending on circumstances.  But thankfully, Leia has always known how to focus her anger in constructive ways.  She gets that from Padme and Bail.)  But I believe that LUKE believes he was.  And that through his exile, Luke was trying to protect the galaxy.

And that’s the BEGINNING of his story in the Last Jedi.  Because Luke has his own arc there just like Rey and Kylo do.  Luke starts off the Last Jedi in a very bad place: full of despair and self-loathing.  He blames himself for what happened to Kylo.  He’s convinced himself that he had been wrong to try to bring back the Jedi.  (But even then, he’s still preserving the books.)

Folks compare his role to Obi-Wan on Tatooine and Yoda on Dagobah, and I think that’s fair, to an extent.  But there are differences.  Obi-Wan was never in exile.  He was on Tatooine for a purpose.  He ALWAYS meant to teach Luke about his father’s legacy and protect him and train him going forward.   He leaps at the call to go help Leia, and immediately uses that opportunity to sweep Luke along.   

Yoda’s a closer comparison, really.  Since his exile is really an exile.  (Though Rebels shows that he’s not completely inactive.)  But for all that Yoda eventually helps train Luke, his story pretty much ends there.  He doesn’t take an active role after that point.

Even as he trains Rey, Luke has to come to terms with his own very complicated emotions about Kylo Ren, his fall, and the loss of the Jedi Order.  He has to move past his self-loathing and accept that Kylo made his own choices, and that he’s made HIS own choices.  He realizes/remembers that the Jedi are more than just books/old knowledge, they’re people too.  And his “I am not the last Jedi” is a really important moment that a lot of people like to ignore.  (Especially those edgelords who love the idea that TLJ showed us why the Jedi shouldn’t exist, which seriously misses the point of the movie.)

Luke at the end of the movie is not the same person he was at the start.  He’s remembered who he is.  He faces his own failure, and the parts that aren’t his fault.  He reunites with his sister, gets her forgiveness, and goes out to face his nephew without hesitation or self-blame.  He dies, but in the process, he buys them the time they need to escape.  And well, as we’ve seen in Star Wars, becoming one with the Force is not always the end of the story.  :-)

So yes, I like Luke’s arc in the Last Jedi.  It’s hard to watch, because it’s not what I would have wanted for the character.  I don’t like the thought of Luke being unhappy and traumatized, and having lost everything.  But that’s not the end of the story.  Luke at the END of the Last Jedi is everything he was always supposed to be.  He just lost his way a little bit before that.  What matters is that he found his way back.

[fialleril]

In honor of Mothers' Day... any chance of getting a snippet from Anabasis with Shmi in it?

I warn you, anon, I don’t have any snippets with Shmi written yet that aren’t painful, but since several people have asked me for a Shmi snippet, I’m giving you this pain.

And as a bonus, you also get a glimpse of Ahsoka’s POV in the first section.

This snippet is super spoilery, so if you’re avoiding Anabasis spoilers for some reason, you probably want to give this one a miss.

Warnings for: harm to children, trauma reactions, panic attacks, hand trauma, mention of blood, mention of needles and injections

The door slid open.

Masters Yoda and Windu entered first, Yoda looking openlytroubled and Windu scowling. Behind them were two humans, a pale, work-wornwoman in her middle age, and an attractive young man with warm brown skin and asmile that lit his eyes. He looked oddly familiar, like someone she knew not inreality, but from images. His smile seemed actually genuine, but it fell whenhe caught sight of Vader.

The woman beside him sucked in a shallow breath of air, herface contorting with so many emotions that Ahsoka couldn’t begin to name them.Her hand reached out, clutching thoughtlessly at the air, and she whispered,“Ani.”

Vader shuddered and staggered, like a puppet whose stringshad been too violently pulled. His metal hand spasmed at his side, and hisbreaths came in short, sharp gasps. The air around him almost seemed to spark.

Ahsoka stepped back again, closer to Barriss, not sureherself whether she was offering protection or asking for it.

“What?” Vader asked in a hoarse whisper, as though the wordswere torn from him. “Who are you?”

The woman’s face crumpled, and her hand dropped. “Ani,” shebreathed. “Don’t you remember?”

“What is going on here?” snapped Madame Nu.

Neither Vader nor the two newcomers seemed to take anynotice, but Master Windu turned to them and said, “Vice Chair Baab sent them.And I for one would very much like to know why.” And then his eyes narrowed,and he snapped, “Tano. What are you doing here?”

Ahsoka shrank back. “I’m sorry, Master, I – ” she began, buthe had already dismissed her.

Vader was trembling, rooted to the floor and poised in adefensive stance that was less trained duelist and more street brawler. His nostrilsflared and his eyes were wide and wild. The chairs and the small table shook inan unseen wind, and all around them, the Force howled.

“Who are you?” he demanded again, his voice harsh andragged. His eyes darted between the young man, whose expression was open andoddly gentle, and the woman, with her face like stone carved by the silenttracks of her tears.

The young man took the woman’s hand and squeezed it once, andshe tore her eyes from Vader long enough to nod once at him.

“Explain yourselves, you will,” said Master Yoda darkly.

“I – yes. My name is Kitster Banai,” said the man, lookingat each of the Jedi in turn, but finally settling his gaze on Vader.

And now Ahsoka knew how she’d recognized him. He was thatactor, the one she’d seen on advertisements all over Coruscant for the last fewmonths.

Vader snorted. “I know who you are,” he snapped, and for a moment Kitster’s eyes brightened,until Vader said, “My Master was quite a fan of your work.”

“Oh,” said Kitster, his face falling noticeably. Ahsokathought that, for a renowned actor, he seemed to do a very poor job ofcontaining his emotions. He and the woman exchanged glances, and Kitstervisibly squared his shoulders.

“Anakin,” he said, and Vader drew himself up, taut as somelean predator ready to strike.

“How do you know that name?” he hissed.

“Because,” said Kitster, “I’m your br – that is, we grew uptogether. On Tatooine. You don’t remember?”

Vader snarled, stalking forward with fire in his eyes,completely unmindful of the four Jedi Masters who moved to intercept him.

Kitster Banai didn’t back down. He didn’t even lookfrightened. “Anakin,” he said. “What do you remember?”

Vader spun away from him in a flurry of rage, only to jerkto a sudden stop facing the woman. He was breathing hard and fast, his eyesblazing, and he looked as though he’d been caught in a sudden tractor beam. Hisarms trembled and his body tensed, but his feet remained rooted, and he staredat her.

Ahsoka was vaguely aware of the masters moving around her,and Barriss stepping away, but she couldn’t look away from Vader, caught in thepull of the unknown woman’s gravity. The only sound was the ragged gasp ofVader’s breathing.

“Ani,” the woman whispered again. “Ani, what have they doneto you?” And her hand reached out, and this time found the Sith’s cheek andrested there, just for a moment.

Vader sprang back from her touch as if it burned, panting inshallow gulps of air and bringing his hands up in front of his body. The Forcearound him was screaming.

“Who?” he growled again, but the word sounded old andbroken.

Kitster came forward, eyeing Vader warily, and took thewoman’s arm. He too seemed to have forgotten about the Jedi presence.

“Anakin,” he said with shocking gentleness.“This is Shmi Skywalker. Your mother.”

*

“No,” said Anakin. It was a non-reaction, a flat andtoneless denial. But he could feel his hands trembling minutely as he said it,and his head hummed with a dull ache. The woman’s presence in the Force drewhim like a black hole, unknowable and inescapable.

“No you’re not,” he whispered. “My mother’s dead. My – Everyoneis dead. I k– ”

He stopped. Everything was spiraling. He didn’t know whathe’d meant to say.

“Anakin,” said Kitster again, and Anakin hated him, hatedthe way the other man said his name, hated the way his presence in the Forcefelt so familiar but so strange.

“Anakin,” said Kitster. “What do you remember?”

What do you remember?

He remembered sand. He remembered grit mixing in his blood,old scars newly made, the roar of engines through the open desert. Heremembered tzai, and ralthin, and cadril pepper.He remembered the language: the language of the Hutts and the language that wassecret. He remembered a ship, and he didn’t know why. He remembered thedetonator.

He had no memory of his mother. He’d never had a mother.He’d been born in the jungle.

“No,” he said again, but it was a breath of air, ameaningless exhalation.

“Ani,” the woman whispered, her hand reaching out to touchhis face again. He shied back, but she didn’t drop her hand. “Ani, I’m sosorry.”

His head throbbed. He couldn’t think. The air was thick, andthe smell of rot and the jungle was all around him. He couldn’t think. He was –

“Stop calling me that!” he snarled, and lunged back, pullinghimself away from the woman’s terrible gravity. The room was shaking now, ormaybe that was just him. He reached blindly for control, staggered, andhalf-fell against the table behind him.

It would do.

His fist crashed into the solid surface of the table, fleshand bone yielding to cool metal. The crunch of his knuckles was loud in thesudden silence of the room, broken only by the woman’s gasp of horror. But heignored her. A sharp flare of pain coursed through him, real and present, andhe focused on that, centered himself around it. The look and feel of the bloodon his knuckles was… He didn’t know what, exactly. But it felt right. He lookeddown at his hand and realized that the headache was gone.

There was clarity in pain. That was one of the oldestlessons. He knew that, knew it in his bones, smelled it in the jungle-stink ofthe air. Master had said –

He growled, spinning away from the table again, his eyeslanding once more on the strange and terribly familiar woman.

For the first time, she looked almost afraid. Her eyeswidened and her hand fell away. But she didn’t step back.

“Anakin,” she said. “What happened to you?”

He stared at her. She was drab and tan and weathered, andthere was a timeless age to her face. It was the look of someone who had beenold for a very long time, though she was probably only in her middle years. Herhands were rough, and there were small scars scattered across her knuckles. Hedidn’t think he’d ever seen those hands before.

She was… He tried to stop the thought, but his mind wasspiraling now, spiraling and strangely clear with the pain. She didn’t lookfamiliar but she felt… And if shewas…

His mother was dead. He knew she was dead. He remembered.

But she wasn’t. The Force had never lied to him before. Andnow it was screaming.

She was supposed to be dead, but she wasn’t. And that meant…

“You sent me with him.”

The woman – Shmi, he wouldn’t call her anything else – lookedsurprised.

“Yes,” she said softly, her voice raw. “I sent you with theJedi. I didn’t know – But then there were whispers of purges and we thought – ”

She stepped closer, her eyes tracing over his face,searching, memorizing. Anakin stood rooted, the spiraling in his head givingway to a sudden horrible stillness.

“The Jedi?” he rasped.

Shmi nodded slowly. “Yes,” she whispered.

“The Jedi. You wanted me to be a Jedi.” The words burned inhis throat.

At the corners of his vision, he was aware of his guardsshifting nervously, and the snap of a lightsaber igniting, or more than one.But they didn’t matter. There was just the woman and her strange, terrible faceand the Jedi.

And suddenly he couldn’t stop laughing.

What do you remember?he heard again, and he couldn’t be sure if Kitster had spoken or if the wordswere only in his own mind.

But he did remember, in scraps and pieces and fragments ofbone.

There had been a transport, a ship, that ship, sleek and dark, and there had been sand whirling allaround him, and he’d been coughing, and he was going away, leaving the desertbehind, going with this man to become, to become…

His laughter died in a sudden snarl. “You sent me with him!”

The woman who claimed to be his mother started back, her facedrawn and pale with a dawning horror. The Force shuddered, and the table andchairs rattled against the stone floor. The smell of jungle rot and bloodfilled his senses.

And then there was a faint prick against his spine, and hespun around with a growl. He’d forgotten about the Jedi. They were all aroundhim now, Yoda and Windu and Dooku and Nu and even the youngling, Ahsoka Tano,all with their lightsabers held at the ready. But Barriss Offee stood nearest,unarmed and watching him with cool pity.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and just before he dissolvedinto the shadows he saw the syringe in her hand.

[roxannepolice]

Prophecies and free will - the (seductiveness of) disenchanting the Galaxy FFA

Or a really long introduction to the smut hut vision meta

Prophecies are a slippery matter in fiction - or at least they became so as the process of disenchanting or rationalisation of the world progressed. There's always some sort of tension between the notion of destiny and free will, not always a very comfortable ome, and the simplest disenchantment is to reject the former idea completely. Nevertheless, prophecies are a more than useful plot device in the way they affect the interpretation of the text and build suspense. Besides, it would be a bit dull if all authors always chose the same, most rational answer.

Macbeth is a fascinating text for many reasons, but one of them is the way Shakespeare used practically every way in which a prophecy may get resolved - that is, except for the option that they don't come to fruition at all - and even that interpretably. So:

prophecy as a trigger setting in motion deeds leading to its fulfillment - that's of course the case of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth killing Duncan. It's impossible to say what would have happened if Macbeth never encountered the witches or never acted basing on their prophecy. Interestingly, Macbeth is usually juxtaposed with Oedipus, but I'd argue it's an oversimplified reading of the text, as it's hardly the only prophecy in Macbeth

prophecies fulfilled on their own - that's all of those applying to Banquo and Fleance. Banquo doesn't do anything to bring them to fruition, yet they all come true and, arguably, independently of Macbeth's actions - though only arguably.

an interesting point to be made is that prophecies applying to Banquo and his offspring do not get fulfilled in the text taken alone - it's more of tacit knowledge those interested in Shakespeare or british history and, arguably, target audience of 17th century London have (had) that Macbeth is in fact grounded in history and James I was Banquo's offspring. Otherwise, audience is left to assume the fact that Fleance escaped means that at some point he became the king of Scotland - or that the whole prophecy thing was, in fact, bs

a self-fulfilling prophecy - that's the case with Macduff. There was of course a general uprising against Macbeth's rule but it was only through his attempt at avoiding the prophecised threat and killing Macduff's family that he got himself a mortal enemy - and one that, incidentally, wasn't of a woman born

prophecies not going to go the way you think - that's Birnam forest and Macduff's birth. They both made Macbeth feel invincible yet they both somehow came to be. A point to be made is that for such a prophesy it be, it has to be expressed ambiguously (a frequent case in ancient times when oracles would basically get high to have visions) and thus it's actually its believer's arrogance that leads to their fall. Enter Eowyn the badass

That last take on prophecies - that they come to fruition in some, far from obvious, way - has become almost a cultural standard by now. It allows for suspense to be built, introduces some irony, especially if combined with self-fulfillment, and all that without really challenging the tension between destiny and free will. Such is currently the case with Cersei Lannister and the valonqar prophecy. Few think she's right to believe it's Tyrion who'll kill her and if so, then only as a result of the way she treated him out of fear caused by what Maggie the Frog said - hence the most satisfying option apparent is if she's killed by Jaime (not going to go the way she thought) because of the way she treated Tyrion (self-fulfillment).

The problem is, George R.R. Martin could yet turn out to be a trope refuter. There are those who believe the show and the books will go in completely seperate directions, the former reviving the epic fiction genre, the latter deconstructing it completely. Thus all of the prophecies are bs, prince that was promised and valonqar alike. However, once a prophesy is introduced it will always affect the way readers interpret the text and I think Martin considered that. Cersei surviving past the last page of the last book won't mean she definitely won't get killed by someone's younger sibling - because the readers, trained by Macbeth, know better than to not consider every younger sibling of ASOIAF. The truth is, for the most creative readers to not come up with some way in which the valonqar prophecy will be fulfilled, Cersei would have to spontaneously combust and even then some would argue she got choked by the smoke, and smoke is fire's younger sibling or something. In a way, valonqar can be Birnam forest gone meta.

I introduced ASOIAF in its most disenchanted reading (which, in itself, doesn't have to be the correct one for what we do know by now) because a good deal of audience expects it to be the new cultural standard and apply the same attitude towards - among others - Star Wars. Disenchantment. No more lineages, no more prophecies, the Force gets stripped of all the mystical bs, it's just magic in a fairy tale. Now, I'm all in for premarital sex, but tbh, I would feel as a tad uncomfortable if after 19 years it turned out Shmi was lying about Anakin's birth.

And I would also say the potential disenchantment is what makes ASOIAF adult fiction at least in the same degree as sex and violence described, whereas Star Wars remains a saga for 12 year olds. Disenchanting the world feels good, feels smart, feels like telling your younger sibling Santa Claus doesn't exist. It basically has a strong Vernon Dursley vibe to it.

So, leaving Scotland and Westeros and returning to the Galaxy Far Far Away

So far there have been three, arguably four, arguably two, prophecies in Star Wars’ main story. The two undisputable ones are that of balance and the smut hut visions. The third one is that of Padmé’s death in labour and the fourth one, very similar, whatever Luke saw on the Dolorous Night. I think it’s a bit too simple to treat them all as indiscriminately going to go not the way we think combined with self-fulfillment. So, let’s analyze.

I’d argue that the prophecy of balance is a case of one itself being an agent influencing actions in the desired direction. Now, the Force may not be as morally unambiguous as jedi would like, but it’s not as amoral/downright malevolent as the three witches (sometimes interpreted as the Moirai, hence the amorality). But it’s also the main reason why Anakin became a jedi and later a sith in the first place, and the jedi in their old form, as most here agree, had to go for the balance to come. Would Qui-Gon train a “too old”, strongly attached to his mother force sensitive and help him get a better life than that of a Tatooine slave? Probably yes, because Qui-Gon was a good person. But would jedi let him join the order? Probably not, for their own good - but their good was a secondary matter here.

Anakin's vision of Padmé's death is a tricky one. In many ways it's a classic case of self-fulfilling prophecy, but there's a bit more to it. First of all, it's the only one that we actually see the way it plays out in Anakin's head, as opposed to his getting impression of Shmi dying. It also differs an extent from the way Padmé actually died, which, I think, is the best argument for the theory the vision was implanted in Anakin's mind courtesy of Palps (though it's far from being a decisive). Or just good old subconscious beeing mean.

Similar discussions apply to what exactly prompted Luke to consider killing Ben, up to the point of some people believing this was Snoke's direct influence, too. Or it could have been, again, Ben's subconsciius that he had no intention to follow. Funnily enough, it's also the only case when a good deal of audience isn't inclined to question the vision, but whatever.

And finally, the smut hut. Now, following a few months of uncertainty, the SW databank stated explicitly that Rey and Ben both had visions of the future. I don't think the visions were in any way manipulated by Snoke, or the raisin would have bragged about it. I also refute the idea that the visions are going to go completely the other way than they think, because Rey talking about solid and clear vision precludes an amibuguity of Birnam forest type - granted the latter was a case of being overly literal about what could be seen, but unless Rey's moral sense is highly questionable, I'd say if she says she saw Ben doing good, that means she saw him doing good. And leaks from Jedi the Last only enforce that belief.

There is however the question of what exactly have they seen. Now, I know most reylos think they have seen their grey future together - and I'm far from decisively refuting that - but it just doesn't add up, imo. It's too simple, too easily reconcilable for their reactions. If I were to interpret their expressions when they tell each other what they saw - to refresh, Rey tells Ben he's not going to bow to Snoke, he'll turn and she'll help him whereas he says when the time comes I don't think this part gets the attention it deserves, from any part of the fandom she'll be the one to turn and that she'll stand with him (I find it interesting, btw, that Ben is arguably the only character so far to not act in order to directly achieve or prevent a force vision, though only if we assume he hasn't seen his future with Rey) - Ben looks sceptical (yup, I think homeboy's done with all the visions he had and others had about him) but Rey is downright disquieted, even before he brings in her parents. How hard to reconcile is what they said they saw if they have indeed seen the same thing? But, as I already stated, that's just my take and having a choice between an answer that's interpretably simple and intuitive but bringing even more questions, I'll choose the latter any day.

Because the really interesting question imo is why have they seen whatever they saw because, regardless of whether their visions were gray or black and white, one clear result is that they brought them closer together, if only for a while. Another case of a prophecy being an agent in its own fulfillment? Force badly wants 'em great-grandbabies? Were the visions coercions? Or warnings, if black-and-white? Inevitable or but possible? Or will the galaxy far far away get disenchanted and the entire scene was but a plot device?

[darthkruge]

heyy Megan, I'm trying to do a character study on Anakin but im finding very limited information online. what do you think are some of his worst and best traits? his personality, humor and like his values? thank you so much,, hope you have a good day/night

omg hi!! thank you for asking me!!

*cracks knuckles* let’s get into it 

anakin skywalker character analysis

best traits:

intelligence, overall skill, curiosity 

anakin was building droids from scraps when he was a child. he spoke huttese and basic from a young age, as well. he’s an insane battle strategist, wonderfully skilled in battle/with a lightsaber, and incredible pilot! he can pick up new skills quickly, as well. i’m just gonna link this post by @chokemeanakin bc it just sums it up real nice.. but yes smart boy love him

compassion, capacity for emotions, empathy, understanding

anakin feels things deeply. i’ve talked about this a lot before lol. but yeah he is frequently in conflict over the sheer weight of the emotions he carries. further, as a jedi, this is not something his peers could relate to. but he always tries to be there for his friends and would do anything to ease their pain. and i think that anakin seeks to understand others. he’s spent so much of his life feeling alone and like no one related to him; he wants to know how other people work, feel, and think.

loyalty, friendship, caring

anakin is so fucking loyal to those he loves. and, tying into my previous point, he loves deeply. he cares, he always has. he treats droids as humans and forms attachments, even though they may be forbidden. he held onto that need for love, for connection even after he joined the order. and he would defend those he loves til the very end... 

selflessness, protectiveness, bravery

anakin would literally dive headfirst into danger to save someone he loves. he doesn’t care about hurting himself or honestly whatever happens to him, as long as those he cares for are safe. 

worst traits:

impulsivity, recklessness

i think we’ve all seen anakin be a bit impulsive at times... sometimes, he just doesn’t think everything through. this is especially clear when someone he loves is in danger. anakin’s lost so many people that when he’s faced with the threat of losing another, his judgment can become clouded. 

insecurity, jealousy, fear

anakin is frequently jealous, which stems from his insecurities. he was probably conflicted a lot; brought into the order as a young child and told he was the chosen one. the weight of the galaxy was placed on his shoulders and, yet, he was held back in classes as a padawan, he didn’t make rank (canonically). i think these things are what allowed palpatine to manipulate him; palpatine knew anakin was afraid, insecure, and, yet, arrogant (my next point dw). he tapped into this and because anakin and the council did not have much mutual trust (aside from like obi-wan), it was easier to get to him. especially because palpatine used anakin’s fear of losing padme and his unborn children to do so. fuck palpatine bro- 

arrogance

yes, anakin was insecure. yes, he was also arrogant. let me explain myself. he occassionally rushes into things without thinking, thinking he can handle them. i think a lot of this stems from being told he was the chosen one from such a young age. that title combined with his skill?! it makes sense he’d internalize it. i am now going to stop myself before i rant about how the gifted education system is a fuckfest. this is coming from someone who spent years in that program. anyway-

personality/overall rant about his life/motivations:

i think i summed up a lot of his personality within the best and worst traits because i got ahead of myself but im going to say some more!! i think a lot of anakin’s personality is dependent on his deep capacity for emotions. you can see that throughout ROTS, he was conflicted almost all the time. he grew up as a slave and all he wanted was to protect his mother. he built droids to help her and competed in podraces to tryand get them anything that could help. 

then, he was taken to the order. suddenly, all these amazing traits he has make sense!! but then the person who’s supposed to train him (qui-gon) dies after anakin’s only known him for a short period of time. anakin’s attachment issues are abundant (i don’t think i need to explain that one) so of course he grows close to obi-wan! but obi-wan was trying to be strong for anakin. even though obi-wan struggled himself with attachment, he tried to be strong and put up a front as a “good” jedi for anakin to look up to. while this was helpful, anakin probably just felt more conflicted, as no one in his life could relate to the bredth of emotions he felt. this caused him to be more introverted and withdrawn (i talk about that in this post)

then, he loses his mother, she dies in his arms. the only person he’d wanted to protect from a young age, who he left to join the jedi, dies in his arms. he blames himself for this, thinking he should have gotten there faster, should have done something more. he probably also blamed the jedi, to at least some extent. why do these powers matter if they can’t save the people he loves? i believe he acted out of anger, killing the tuskens, because (at least to some degree) of the jedi. instead of teaching him how to express his emotions (pain, fear, loss, grief, etc.), they train him. to some degree, he might think all he’s good for is these skills. so he acts out of anger, slaughtering them. 

and then finally he finds someone who loves him in the way he wants to be loved. padme stays by his side, even after he killed the tuskens. she sees the good in him and treats him as a man, not a prophecy. but once again, this motif of fear remains! he has to hide this love, one of the only pure and good things in his life! he has to live in fear every second of every day because, if the council finds out that he found happiness and love, everything is ruined. 

but then he starts getting the vision’s that padme will die. and not just padme, now his unborn children could die, too. the one thing he has that is good and purely his could now be ripped away. he knew he was helpless, knew there was nothing he could do to stop it by himself. the council isn’t that helpful, telling him to learn to let it go with the force. while that might help any other jedi, it just pushed anakin away. he would never be able to just surrender and let go to the force, not when the life of his entire family is at risk! 

and he finds palpatine, someonoe who has spent years trying to manipulate him. but palpatine is smart, he’s cunning. anakin didn’t know what the real intentions were and, truly, he probably didn’t want to know. he was blinded by his fear and if anything could save padme, he would do it. then the council try to get him to spy on palpatine. again, conflict. anakin’s loyalty is repeatedly questioned and pushed and prodded, he was probably so confused! he didn’t know who to trust. but, when you combine the current situation with his backstory with who he is and what he cares about, it makes sense why it all happened. 

this is what i mean when i say conflict. he was pulled in a million directions constantly. and we all know how his story ends and i don’t want to cry so i’m not gonna detail it...

also: i’m not saying any of this excuses all of his choices, but it does explain them.  

humor:

lowkey a dork

he is. and i love that about him. you can see this in the way he flirts with padme sometimes... like floating the pear to her and the whole “i don’t like sand” thing. he’s a fucking dork. can’t exactly blame him nor do i hold it against him! he didn’t have many close friends growing up and he was like pining for padme for years so it’s not like he spent that time creating a playbook

he’s also witty!

i think this comes with his intelligence; he’s witty and he’s quick. example: “general grievous, you’re shorter than i expected.” i mean he’s no sass-king obi-wan kenobi but anakin definitely can hold his own in a verbal sparring match! 

also i headcanon him as having horrible puns but loving them!

values:

love, friendship, connections

at his core, anakin just wants to find someone who understands him and his emotions. who can relate to him. he wants those connections; in fact, he actively seeks them out. love is a key part of his identity. i talk about this in this post about his love languages so imma just link it there!

success, validation

tying into his determination, anakin wants to do well! he pushes himself and i think he’s a perfectionist, too. you can see this in the way he holds himself as a general; he doesn’t slack off, doesn’t not care. he understands the responsibility he has in that role and he takes it seriously! and just in his overall skill level, even though he was a bit of a child-prodigy, he clearly spent a long time training. he probably also had some imposter syndrome going on and was constantly trying to prove his worth. 

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uhh yeah i think i got everything?? yes?? he’s so complex and i legit love him immensely. doing character analysis for anakin is my favorite thing in the entire universe! if anyone has anything they want to add, please feel free!!