#And Dipper interrupting. Oh yeah. Definitely. There's a *lot* wrong with you

[tswwwit]

Does reincarnated Dipper ever go and work in medical? - as a doctor or nurse or pyschologist. I think that would be funny. I'm sure Bill would *looove* that.

He definitely could! Dipper does love helping people.

And it'd be delightfully frustrating for Dipper to try and navigate his chosen profession while hooking up with a guy who's into intestinal origami and mind-breaking. Bill might be knowledgeable, but he offers a lot of highly inadvisable advice.

[count-woe-laf]

You can’t spell stargaze without gays

I write? Since when? Yes I’m aware the title makes no sense, I’m uncreative. This was supposed to be a late birthday present for @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink but it’s super late now, I still enjoyed writing it and planning it with her, I hope you’re having a great day, Silver. I’m sorry I got science facts wrong and I don’t know how to end things or how normal people talk

Logan and Virgil are hopeless pining gay idiots with horrible communication skills, but they’re working on it. (Romantic analogical, very background royality and platonic dukeceit.) 1850 words

"Bring me a diet coke!" Virgil called to Roman as he ran out of the truck, through the gravel parking lot, and towards the bright 7/11.

Logan let out a small laugh from next to him. "You know he's going to spend an hour flirting with the cashier and forget."

"Yeah I know, it's fine. Surprising that he's moved up from panicking around Patton to flirting with him, that's what I call character development."

"Character development that's gone on for ten too many seasons."

"True. But while he's in there I have more time to spend with you," Virgil replied with a smirk, Logan's cheeks reddening.

"You all are disgusting," called Remus from the backseat.

"I agree," Janus sighed. "Though I can do many things, understanding allos is not one of them."

"Then get out of my truck," Virgil jokingly glared into the rearview mirror.

"It's Roman's truck-" Logan started, Virgil shifted his glare towards him. "Ok yeah, get out."

"Think we can find bigfoot, Jan?"

"We're only half an hour away from the city, try again," but Janus let himself be dragged out into the nearby forest.

Logan and Virgil were left alone, thoughts of what had gone on the past week between them running through their heads. The hand brushes, the late night phone calls, the hoodies, the excessive amount of feelings that for once, neither of them minded. There was always more to say though.

"You can see lots of stars from out here," Virgil commented rather nervously. "You should come outside with me and look at them."

It was an offering just for Logan. He was the only one allowed to stargaze with Virgil while others were flirting in a 7/11 and being chaotic in a forest. Logan and Virgil in the bed of a truck staring at the night sky. ...Well, one of them was looking at the stars.

"You know to stargaze you actually have to look at them, right? You can just look at me, V."

"Who's saying you're not a star? 'Cause you definitely are, love."

"Love?" Logan tilted his head towards Virgil's red face.

"Uh-" Virgil looked away quickly. "What is that constellation? It looks like a spoon."

"Do you seriously not know? That's the big dipper, it's part of the constellation ursa major."

"You're the science-y one here, how would I know?" Logan just sighed. "You should keep talking though, I love your voice."

"Oh… Well that's the northern star…"

"Why is it called that?"

"Um, it's the most northern star, I believe astronomers base things off of it."

Virgil snoted, "wow. Star dudes sure are creative."

Logan looked over, an indescribable emotion on his face. "Pardon me, but did you just call astronomers, 'star dudes'?"

Virgil stared back, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Star. Dudes."

"...I will defenestrate you."

"Oh?"

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Yeah," Virgil said. "It means you pick me up and I get to simp over your muscles."

"It also means I throw you out of a window."

"I'll take what I can get." Logan let out a fond sigh. "Ok 'cause your constellations are boring and factual- don't worry I still love them- but I'm telling stories now."

"You're going to kill me."

"In your dreams, babe."

"What's that supposed to-"

"Over there is Elenor, it kinda looks like a bunny, I know. Their boyfriend is Jesse over there-"

"Virgil I swear, I'm leaving you in the forest." Logan's words gave a much different meaning when he was struggling to keep in his laugh.

Virgil chucked. "Oh Logan, so naive, there's so much more. Those three stars? Yeah they're Bo Peep's sheep."

Logan choked, the statement taking him by surprise. "Excuse me? You can't just…"

"Y'know, from Toy Story? Doesn't she have three sheep or something? I swear that was a plot point in one of the movies."

"The threat of being thrown out of a window still stands, Virge." 

"Good, now that star over there…"

"Her name is Jennifer, she got a constellation for making the best bean salad."

Virgil tried to hold in a laugh. "And what did you say that one was?"

Logan was so enamoured with Virgil's laugh that he almost didn't notice him intertwining their fingers. Almost. He still had to take a breath to regain his nearly non-existent composure. Although fifteen minutes couldn't have passed, Logan could tell that it was a good decision to accept Roman's offer for a fake road trip.

"That guy with the belt?" Logan continued. "He was the first person to invent clothes. Quite the fashion icon for his time."

"Oh yeah?" Virgil giggled and Logan's heart stuttered in his chest.

"Yeah, he was also the only straight man in his village. It was very controversial." Virgil hummed in response, trying to calm his laughter.

"We're pretty controversial."

"What do you mean by that?"

"We're lying in the bed of Roman's truck, well past midnight and the city limits, looking at stars. Janus and Remus are probably lost in the forest and Roman and Patton have probably gotten over their gay panic and are planning their wedding together."

"I'm not sure how that's controversial, but it is interesting that we've achieved nothing compared to them." Logan's eyes drifted back to the stars.

"I think not getting lost is a plus." He made a noise of agreement. "And uh… I know we're not as vocal about stuff like the others but… Dating you wouldn't be bad." It came out more like a question, causing Logan to look back at him.

"Fuck- I mean-" Virgil ran a hand down his face. "It would actually be really really nice if I could be your boyfriend because- ugh stop staring at me like that! It's just that you're really great and nice to be around and to talk to and I can't imagine you not being in my life. A-and I know we've been kinda sorta dating but you know how dumb we both are about romance and all that stuff- oh god this is romance, I can't believe that…

"I just really like you, Logan and I need to make sure you know that."

Virgil's words swirled into the air, into the sky, into that great expanse of stars and light.

They laid there and stared at the stars, thinking, considering, and a fair amount of staring on Logan's side.

He couldn't help it, really. He couldn't stop his eyes tracing the curve of his jaw, his bitten lips, the words that previously escaped them were still spinning through Logan's head. And Virgil's hair, his adorably messy hair that was usually hanging in front of his eyes, was pushed to the side, Logan could see a galaxy reflected in his beautiful eyes.

Virgil was his galaxy, his sun, his stars. He had kept him sane through years of school. He constantly went out of his way just to brighten Logan's day a little bit more, and brighten he did.

Virgil meant everything to him and he'd be damned if he went home tonight without showing him that.

"Didn't… Didn't you say you always wanted to go stargazing with your partner?"

"Uhh, yeah." Virgil replied hoarsely.

"I suppose you get to cross that off your list, then." Logan wondered how he suddenly had some semblance of smoothness to his words.

"Oh."

The stars seemed awfully bright that night, especially in the way they reflected off Virgil's freckles.

"Is… Is that a shooting star?" Virgil lifted his free hand, tracing the bright line across the map of stars.

"There's no such thing as shooting stars." Virgil rolled his eyes. "But, I… do believe that's a satellite."

"Then make a wish."

"That's stupid and makes no sense, wishing on a satellite has no affect on my life."

"Just do it, my northern star."

Logan's red face was a reflection off the far away street lights, nothing else. "Am I supposed to tell you what I wished for?"

"Not really, but you can. I'd love to know what goes on in that brilliant head of yours."

"My head is empty, unfortunately." Virgil laughed, he did that quite a bit around him. "I wished that we'd have a good relationship. Apologizes, is that weird, or too soon? I… just mean that we're both terrible at communicating, I hope that we can improve together as a couple."

“Oh."

Although Virgil may not have realized it, Logan noticed as he lightly brushed his thumb over his hand. It was stupidly endearing and soft, just as Virgil was.

"That's probably the cutest thing anyone's ever said that slightly regards me."

"Glad I can be of service, darling."

"So darling is what you go with?"

"Would you prefer something else?"

"...No. If I can call you my boyfriend you can call me whatever you want." Virgil smiled. "…You're my boyfriend. That's nice to say."

"It is. I wonder how I stumbled upon a boyfriend as good as you."

"You- you need to stop doing that," Virgil blushed.

"I'm not doing anything!" Logan shifted closer to him, for heating purposes of course, it was a little chilly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know full well."

"Do I really, Virgil?"

"Shut up and look at the stars."

"Make me."

"Logan I swear-"

"Fine, fine, I will." Virgil mumbled thanks under his breath. "But they aren't as pretty as you."

Virgil let out a noise, a mix between a screech and a cough. There was no way he was showing Logan how fluttery his words made his heart feel. (Although he felt it was common knowledge among them.)

"There's around twenty minutes until the others get back, that's twenty minutes to mess with you."

"I'm already regretting this, Lo."

"As you should, my love."

Yes, their friends may have interrupted their stargazing a few minutes later. Yes, Roman may have forced Patton to leave his shift early resulting in one too little seats and an angry boss. Yes, they may have almost ran out of gas on the way home. Yes, they may have bought fries as Janus looked for a gas station. Yes, they may have fallen onto the floor seconds later. Yes, Remus may have jumped out of the car afterwards because he said it looked fun and almost sprained his ankle. And yes, Roman did have to explain the situation five times to his parents because they couldn't stop laughing about all the shenanigans they got into that night.

Still, Virgil's arm stayed around Logan's waist like it was the most casual thing in the world. Still, they shared a milkshake once everyone had given up on the fallen fries. Still, they were both filled with such a bright happiness that it was impossible to drag them down. And maybe they fell asleep on a video call that night. Or maybe Logan stayed over and they woke up with their limbs tangled in each other's, feeling content and appreciative of the other as they slowly woke up. Honestly, who's to say? It was just a good night.

[mysterykidscasefiles]

Mystery Kids: Wishful Thinking

Secret Santa present for BB! Merry Christmas! I hope you like it!

Request: Something with just Neil and Norman hanging out!

I went a little overboard and gave the other mystery kids an appearance as well, but I kept the core of the story about Norman and Neil!

List of Fics

Wishful Thinking

Time Period: Second Summer

“Where are we going, Neil?” Norman asked as they walked down the streets of the small town of Gravity Falls. 

Neil had suggested that he and Norman do something fun together since the Mystery Kids didn’t have any current missions or mysteries. It wasn’t often that Norman and Neil got some time to hang out together without the other Mystery Kids around. Usually there was a mystery to solve, or Wybie wanted them to try out his new invention, or Dipper asked Norman for help going through his notes, or Ford had been working on a delicate experiment and Stan had interrupted him at the wrong moment forcing everyone evacuate the shack before they were exposed to interdimensional radiation… 

In Gravity Falls, there was no telling what would happen, so a quiet day with his best friend wasn’t a common occurrence. 

“You know that creepy, rusty jungle gym off of Vine Street?” Neil asked cheerily.

“Yeah? Why would we go there?”

“Last week you said there were a lot of ghost cats hanging out in the area, right? Well, I thought that since I’m allergic to cats and can’t pet them without getting hives, it would be a good idea to pet ghost cats instead!. Smart, right?” Neil grinned widely at Norman. “And you can tell me where the cats are so I can pet them!”

Norman stared at his friend, his place slowing, before he realized he was falling behind and had to walk faster to catch up. “Why don’t you just try and find a hypoallergenic cat to pet?”

“Well if you think about it… I sort of did! Besides, this way I get to hang out with my best friend too!”

Norman shook his head in amusement. 

Norman was reminded of the first day he spent time hanging out with Neil. Norman had pushed Neil away many times in his past, insisting that he would rather be alone, but one day the boy piqued his interest with an odd request. Neil had asked if Norman could see the ghost of his dead dog, Buddy, in his backyard. At the time, Norman was convinced that as soon as he told Neil he could see Buddy, Neil would freak out and ask him to leave. 

Instead, Neil asked Norman to help him play fetch with Buddy. That was the first time someone wasn’t freaked out by his abilities or assumed he was lying. It had also been the first time Norman noticed he liked being with someone over being alone. 

“Okay, sounds like fun,” Norman said. “Let’s see if the cats are still there.”

The ghost cats were still haunting the bushes around the old jungle gym when they arrived. Norman and Neil sat down on the steps of the jungle gym and Norman coaxed the cats over the best they could. The cats eagerly responded to him much quicker than a living cat would have, which was a perk of being a medium.

Norman instructed Neil on where and how to pet the cats. It took a few corrections from Norman, but eventually the cats seemed to settle down around them and Neil was able to pet them.

Neil seemed overjoyed by the experience even though he couldn’t see or feel the cats. Just the knowledge that there were cats around and he was petting them seemed to be enough for him. 

The sound of heavy breathing and gravel crunching underneath hurried feet distracted Norman and Neil from their activity. Norman looked up to see Mabel running down the road towards them, and in her arms she clutched something awkwardly to her chest.

“Hey… guys…” Mabel said breathlessly as she came to a stop in front of them. Her cheeks were red from exhaustion. Out of habit, Norman checked the road behind her. No monsters or strange creatures seemed to be chasing her. You can never be too careful in Gravity Falls. 

“Hi Mabel!” Neil said. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing! Why would something be wrong?” Mabel said a little too forcefully. “Do you guys mind doing me a favor? I just need you to hold something for me. Better yet, why don’t I just put it in this bush here right beside you?” Mabel uncovered what she was holding in her oversized sweater arms. It was a medium sized brass teapot that looked like something his grandma’s grandma would have used. She carefully placed the teapot in the bush beside them. “There we go!” Mabel said brightly. “This way you don’t have to touch it, or accidentally rub it… or make any kind of wishes while touching it at all!”

“Uhh Mabel?” Norman asked.” What’s going on? Why did you just hide a teapot in a bush?”

“No reason whatsoever!” Mabel said with a too-wide smile. “You know me, just silly old Mabel doing silly, random things! Aren’t I just delightful to have around?” she asked with an overly loud giggle. 

“Umm…” Neil glanced at Norman in confusion. “Yes?” 

Mabel paused, staring down at Neil’s hand, which was stroking the air. She gasped, her mouth falling open in dismay. “You guys petting invisible animals and you didn’t invite me?!”

“Oh umm, they’re actually the ghosts of cats that haunt this area,” Norman explained.

Mabel’s eyes widened even further. “Awww ghost kitties! I want to join!”

“Sure!” Neil said. “Norman can tell you where the cats are-”

At this moment, shouts could be heard from down the street. Norman thought he heard Mabel’s name being called by an angry Coraline.

Mabel stood up straighter as she cast an anxious glance towards the shouting. 

“I have to go!” she said quickly. “If anyone asks about me, just tell them I’m either at Candy’s house or you saw me head back to the Shack!”

Before either of them could say anything, Mabel ran off in the opposite direction of Coraline’s shouts.

“So… that teapot,” Norman began, “there’s definitely a genie inside, right?”

Neil grinned. “Definitely! Do you think it’s one of those good genies that grants all your wishes like in Aladdin or one of those evil ones that try and twist your words?”

Norman shrugged. “It’s probably safest not to touch it until we know more about it.”

Neil nodded his head in agreement.

“Oh, you have a grey cat by your right foot,” Norman instructed.

“Here?”

“A little to your left- perfect.”

“Don’t you mean puuurfect?” Neil joked.

Norman rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide his smile.

“Hey dorks,” a voice called out. They both looked up to see Coraline and Wybie walking toward them.

“Hey guys!” Neil greeted. “What’s up?”

“We’re looking for Mabel,” Coraline said as she glanced down the street, as if hoping to see the girl. “Have you guys seen her?”

“Oh umm,” Neil glanced nervously at Norman.

“She’s at the Shack-”

“She’s at Candy's house-” They both said at the same time.

Coraline stared at them, blinked once, and then narrowed her eyes. She took a step forward, her hands on her hips. “Are you guys covering for her?”

“Uhh, we’re not covering for anyone!” Neil said nervously as he looked anywhere but Coraline’s eyes. “Mabel was just uhh… at Candy’s house, but then we saw her run to the shack to get umm… a toothbrush?”

Norman has always suspected Neil was a bad liar, but now he could see first hand how bad he was.

“A toothbrush?” Coraline repeated, clearly not impressed. “In the middle of the day?”

“Yeah! Gotta fight that gum disease!” Neil said with a short, nervous laugh.

Coraline’s irritated glare caused Neil to shrink backwards, and Norman didn’t blame him. 

“I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just lie to my face. Now, it's important that we find Mabel,” Coraline said, unable to keep the frustration out of her voice. “We’ll fill you guys in later but right now we need to know where she went.”

“We really don’t know where she is, Coraline.” Norman said. “Honestly.”

Coraline’s frown deepened as she studied him.

“Come on, Jonsey. If they really don’t know then we’re just wasting time here,” Wybie said.

Slowly Coraline nodded. “Fine, let’s hurry before she gets too far.” Coraline cast a final suspicious look in their direction before running off with Wybie.

“Do you think we should have told them about the teapot?” Neil asked.

Norman shrugged. “Mabel must have her reason for leaving it with us. We should probably stay out of it until we know more.”

“Yeah, you‘re probably right. Besides, we’re doing something important right now.” 

Norman agreed. Spending time in Gravity Falls and being a mystery kid was fun and exciting, but sometimes a day off petting ghost cats with his best friend was just the break he needed.

“If someone else comes looking for Mabel, we should pretend like we haven’t seen her so we don’t seem suspicious,” Norman said.

“Okay, that’s a good idea. I think Coraline was onto us.”

Norman chuckled. “Yeah… I don’t think we fooled her.”

The two of them went back to petting the ghost cats. Norman noticed one of the cats was floating in Neil’s lap. After telling his friend this, Neil became so excited he started moving his legs a little too much. The ghost cat wasn’t jostled by the moment, since Neil’s legs would go right through it, but the cat seemed to dislike the movement all the same and left Neil’s lap to curl up on the ground beside them instead. Norman decided not to mention this change to Neil.

“So, what would you wish for?” Neil asked suddenly.

Norman looked up at him in confusion. 

“If you had a genie that wasn’t evil,” Neil explained. “What would you wish for?”

Norman shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Come on, there has to be something! Everyone has something they would wish for.”

“What would you wish for?” Norman asked. 

“That’s easy, I would wish to not be lactose intolerant. I love cheese too much, it’s not fair!”

Norman laughed. “That’s it? You wouldn’t wish for money or for a superpower or anything?”

“Oh, that’s a good idea! If I got more wishes I would wish for a super power! I would want to be able to fly! How about you?”

“I don’t think I would wish for a superpower. Talking to the dead is more than enough for me. I don’t think I could handle anything more,” he said ruefully. 

Neil gave him a concerned look, but before he could ask further, the sound of a familiar engine caught their attention. They looked up to see Dipper coming down the road in the Shack’s golf cart. 

“What do we say again?” Neil whispered in a panic. 

“Just act dumb, like we don’t know anything.”

“Hey guys,” Dipper said as he stopped the golf cart on the road next to them. “Have you two seen Mabel?”

“Uhh... whose Mabel?” Neil asked.

Not that dumb, Neil!

Dipper stared. “Mabel? My... sister? Are you okay?”

“He’s fine,” Norman said quickly. “What he means is we haven’t seen her.”

“Okay…“ Dipper said slowly, confused. “If you do, can you text me? She wants to set this creature free, which is nice and all, but we were still trying to figure out the consequences of doing that when she suddenly ran off with it.” Dipper rolled his eyes. “She did the same thing with the baby ducks in the petting zoo back in California.”

“Sure, we’ll text you if we see her,” Norman said. 

“Thanks!” Dipper hit the gas and drove down the road. 

“Nice save,” Neil said. “Maybe you should answer the next time someone asks about her.”

“Sure,” Norman said with a shrug. He didn’t mind, he was used to keeping secrets, and this one seemed pretty harmless. The teapot was probably safer in the bush than in the hands of Mabel or any of the kids while they fought over what they should do with it.

“So…” Neil said.

“So what?”

“So if not super powers, what would you wish for? There has to be something.”

Norman shrugged again. “I’m not sure. There’s nothing I really want.”

“You wouldn’t…” Neil started, a worried look crossing his face. “You wouldn’t wish to get rid of your powers, would you?”

That gave Norman pause.

“How could you even think about that?” Neil asked, his eyes wide with panic, as he leaned forward. “Your gift is so awesome!”

Norman shook his head. “Maybe… maybe a few years ago I would have wished to get rid of my gift. When I first started talking back to ghosts it was a nightmare. Everyone thought I was lying or a freak. And a lot of the ghosts wanted something from me and I felt like I couldn’t handle the responsibility. I just wanted to be normal.”

“What changed?”

Norman smiled. “I made a friend who didn’t care that I could talk to ghosts. Actually he thought it was really cool that I could help him play fetch with his dog’s ghost in his yard.”

Neil sat back, a wide grin on his face. ”It was cool,” he stressed. “Who doesn’t want to play with ghost animals?”

Normal laughed. “Lots of people, Neil.”

“Well then they’re missing out!”

Norman shook his head. “Then I was able to help Aggie,” Norman continued, “and I finally felt like I could do some real good with my gift. After that, I came to Gravity Falls and met people ever weirder than me.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Raz said.

Norman and Neil looked up to see Raz and Lili walking down the road together.

“Who wants to be normal anyway?” Lili said, making a face.

“Oh, hey guys,” Norman greeted with a slight blush. “Are you guys looking for Mabel too?”

Raz blinked in surprise. “You heard about that? Yeah, we’ve been looking all over. Do you know where she is?”

Norman shook his head. “No. And we told the others we hadn’t seen her.” It technically wasn’t a lie.

“Oh great!” Lili groaned in frustration. “Well, she couldn’t have just disappeared! Come on Raz, let’s go regroup with Coraline.”

“Lead the way. You guys coming?” he asked Norman and Neil.

“Not yet,” Norman said. “We’re going to hang out here for a bit longer.”

Raz shrugged. “Suit yourself. See you later!”

When Raz and Lili were out of hearing range, Neil let out a relieved sigh. 

“How did you do that? They weren’t suspicious at all!” Neil asked.

Norman shrugged. “I’ve learned that when you’re hiding something it's better to not say very much. It’s best to try and blend in and not give out too much information, or to make up too many lies. Not that I was ever really good at blending in at school.”

“I’m glad you stuck out, even though you didn’t want to. If I didn’t know who you were, I probably wouldn’t have tried to be your friend,” Neil said. 

“That’s true.” Norman paused for a moment, thinking back to when he finally allowed himself to let Neil in, and how utterly lonely he had been when he told himself he didn’t need friends.”

“I think I know what I would wish for,” Norman said suddenly. 

“You do? What?”

“We might never have become best friends if it wasn’t for Aggie’s curse, but I wish it hadn’t taken a vengeful poltergeist for me to see what a good friend you are. I wish we could have been friends even earlier, like in Elementary School. I would have been a lot less lonely.”

Neil smiled at that. “That’s a good wish. I wish we were friends back then too. ”

“... but let’s not actually make those wishes,” Norman said, glancing nervously at the bush.

Neil shook his head vigorously. “No way, I’m optimistic not crazy”

Norman nodded in agreement. They had been in Gravity Falls long enough to know that if something seemed too good to be true, it was probably deadly, cursed, or hatching a plot to make Mabel it’s queen.

“Besides, we’re friends now and that’s what matters!” Neil said. 

They heard shouts from the end of the street followed by the sounds of footsteps running fast down a gravel road.

“There she is! Mabel!” They heard Dipper shout.

“Come back here!” Coraline demanded.

A purple blur rushed by where Norman and Neil had been sitting.

“You’ll never catch me alive!” The purple blur shouted, practically cackling as she ran.

Not long afterwards, there was a sound of an engine starting and then a golf cart went flying by, the seats full of their other friends, quickly gaining on Mabel.

“Should we go help now?” Neil asked.

Norman stood and took off his red jacket. “Yeah, I think we should.”

He pushed the branches of the bush away before wrapping his jacket around the teapot so he didn’t have to touch it. After all, you can never be too careful in Gravity Falls. 

“Let’s hurry before they kill each other,” Norman said as he lifted the bundle into his arms. “And no more wishing, just in case.”

“No problem. Besides, I really like how we became friends. Nothing says best friends forever like curses, magic and adventure.”

“That’s true. Come to think of it, that’s how I make all of my friends,” Norman said with a small laugh of disbelief. “That’s definitely not normal.”

“Nope,” Neil agreed with a matching grin of his own. “And that’s what makes it awesome!”

Honestly, I have no idea what this was, but it was fun to write Norman and Neil. I was actually in the middle of reading the Paranorman book when I started this, so I was primed to write something with Norman and Neil.

[xxrat-bastardxx]

mind if i slide in the first three parts of my zoro x reader fanfiction in here, its posted on archive of our own and wattpad too but i might just switch over to here so ppl can request one piece oneshots and drabbles n’ stuff anyway here it is:

Stargazer: A Roronoa Zoro x Reader

     I've been looking up recently. Not that I don't look up ever, as it is kinda my unspoken job on this ship. However instead of looking up to navigate the stars at night, lately I have been fascinated with looking at the crow's nest in the daytime, wondering what a certain swordsman was doing in there all day. Since I joined the crew the green haired hunk intrigued me. His cold personality strange to me as it was so different than everyone else on the ship. Although I found him interesting we never really had conversations, only short small talk here and there and common courtesy. A part of me wanted to get closer to him and find out all of his little secrets. The sane part telling me to leave him alone and find another person to bother.

    "(Y/N)!" Luffy yelled, pulling me out of my daydream, "FOOD!"

    "Go get Zoro while you're at it too," Nami followed.

    I got up from my spot on the grass and started my ascent. A sudden wave of excitement and nervousness washing over me. Finally I would learn the secrets of the crows nest. I unlatch the door and pull myself up, sitting myself up with my legs dangling out of the door.

    "Oh, that's boring," I say accidentally, quickly covering my mouth when I realized I actually said that out loud. Zoro drops his weight and looks at me, a puzzled expression on his face.

    "Excuse me? What did you say?" He questions even though he obviously understood what I said.

    "Shit, I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that. I was just expecting...Well I don't know what I was expecting, something different I guess." I answer not wanting to lie to the poor man I just insulted.

    Don't get me wrong walking in on a buff man working out is not necessarily boring. Just the obvious thing a buff man would be doing with his time. I guess I was hoping he would turn out to be a mad scientist or delicately painting the ocean from the perfect view the windows give.

    "Um...Anyway. It's dinner time, Nami wanted me to come get you," I say trying to change the topic and quickly make my escape. "I'll be going now, sorry I interrupted your workout."

    "Wait," Zoro says, stopping me before I leap down to the safety of the deck, "I'll walk with you." Weird. I just insulted him and now he wants to walk with me. It's not even that far of a walk either...

    I wait for him to grab a towel and dry off his sweat before heading down to the deck. Waiting for him at the bottom I listen to the commotion ensuing in the kitchen. If we don't hurry our damn captain will eat all the food. I hear a soft thump as the swordsman lands next to me. Looking up at him I shudder slightly just now realizing our hight difference. I quickly take in all of his features, never being this close for so long. Short green hair, did it always look that soft? Tan skin, was it always that smooth? Thick scar running across his chest, do you think he would let me touch it, I wonder how it feels? Damnit (y/n), why are you such a creep! I shake my head and start the short journey to the kitchen. Zoro following silently. I turn open the door to the kitchen with a smile and offer Zoro the chance to go in first. He nods to me in thanks and takes his seat at the table.

    "There you are (y/n)-swan! I thought that marimo brute kidnapped you, I was about to go save you myself," Sanji swoons carrying plates of delicious looking food. I laugh making his face light up as I sit down. The mentioned brute becoming visibly annoyed at the cook.

    "Don't worry Sanji he couldn't kidnap me even if he tried. Everyone knows I'm too quick to get caught," I reply teasing Zoro as I point my chopsticks at him.

    "Tch, how do you know...I wouldn't even want to kidnap you." Zoro grumbles poking at his food.

    "Did I make the moss head sad?" I jab, enjoying the thrill of making fun of such a powerful person. If I wasn't able to find his hidden talent, annoying him would be the next best thing. I wanted to know how far I could take it. I swear a slight tinge of red now dusted his cheeks and ears. Cute. He didn't respond but ate the rest of his meal obviously fuming.

"Luffy?" I question making the captain pause for a moment, "Who's on night shift with me tonight?" Since I navigated the ship most nights with the stars so Nami could relax, I usually asked for a helper to be on deck so I wouldn't drop dead the next day because of pulling all nighters every night. After asking it became apparent that Luffy hadn't thought of it one bit during the day. Which was typical of the airhead.

"Ussop!" Luffy smiles. It was obvious this was the first name to come to his head.

"Hey! I've done it 3 times this week already, why not someone else?!" Ussop retaliates. Ouch. I laugh it off understanding that for a normal person that was too much time to be awake.

"I'll do it," Zoro growls "I did it most of the time before she joined so its fine." This shocked me a little, he had never offered before and just after I've insulted him this much he wants to hang out with me? Or maybe he'll through me overboard as revenge. I guess if I survive the night I'll be able to learn more about him so maybe this is my dream come true.

After dinner I go to the back of the ship and watch the sunset, It was my nightly ritual so to say. Something calm to end the hectic days on the Sunny. I take in the salty ocean air and lean my head into my hand. The ocean was so peaceful today, a gentle current pulling the ship along gentle waves. So lost in the moment I didn't realize the person coming up behind me until I felt a strong pair of hands on my shoulders. I yelp in surprise and whip around to face my attacker.

"You say you're too fast to catch, yet you don't even hear me coming," Zoro scoffs.

"Hey, that's not fair, I wasn't paying attention," I pout crossing my arms over my chest. Now this guy was touching me? What the heck did I do to get all this attention, I thought teasing him would do the opposite! I guess I'm in for a long night.

2

    We sat in an awkward silence for the next hour, I still had no idea why this man wanted to give me so much attention all of a sudden. I had been on the ship for almost 2 months now and had never gotten any recognition from him before. Most of my time was spent with Nami talking about maps and directions, or with Ussop and Franky trying to make bigger better telescopes to research the huge sky above us. And if I wasn't with them I was usually sleeping, preparing myself for the night ahead.

    I look over to the man sitting a couple feet away, bottle in hand. Aha! Conversation starter, please let this awkward silence end!

    "So, you like sake?" Damnit he wouldn't be drinking if he didn't like it. Why did you ask something so obvious.

    "Yeah, I guess so." He replied taking another swig. Come on (y/n) think of something better. A few more excruciating minutes passed, nothing came to mind of what I could do to fix the situation.

"I don't really drink, I don't like the taste," I say, another awkward sentence for another awkward situation.

Zoro snickers, "I guess you just haven't had the right alcohol then," He reaches the bottle out towards me, "Try it," He says. Carefully I reach out and take the bottle in my hands. I shrug and take a sip. Nope still awful! I scrunch my face as the swordsman laughs. Wiping my mouth I pass back the bottle.

"Nope, definitely not for me," I mutter, earning another chuckle from Zoro.

"It seems like you don't like anything I do huh," Zoro says.

"Huh! No no no, its not like that I promise!" I quickly jab. I sigh and look up at the stars. Zoro softly punches my shoulder.

"I know I'm joking. You're different, I like that," He reassures me. At least now I know he isn't planning on throwing me overboard.

    "Wait what do you mean I'm different?" I say, the phrase finally hitting.

    "You aren't in awe of me, I respect that." Zoro says softly. A blush creeps onto my face, I didn't expect something like this from the guy. He seemed so cold and distant most of the time, it was quite intimidating. I look down at my lap, trying to hide the redness of my face. It was reassuring to know that the scariest person on the ship thought of me with respect. With those words the atmosphere seemed to lighten up. Instead of excruciating silence it was calm, like my moments with the sunset. I lie down looking at the stars, the spring constellations jumping out at me. The grand line may have the strangest seasons, but the sky remains the same throughout the years, on a cycle you could count on. Reliable as always, beautiful as always.

I hadn't noticed Zoro lying next to me until he spoke. "What are you looking at?" I turn to him our faces closer now.

"The constellations," I reply, "They help me figure out where we need to go, and what time of the year it is."

"Hmm, I never thought of it that way," Zoro says turning back to the sky, hands behind his head like a pillow. I daringly scoot closer to the man. Leaning closer to him I point to a collection of stars.

"Look over there is the Big Dipper, that one you probably already know. Oh, and over there is Virgo!" I explain excitedly. I continue to gush over the stars pointing out more constellations and going into some of the stories behind them. This goes on for a while, I spit out random star facts while Zoro nods and quietly takes in the information I shove at him. By the time my rant is over we are sitting up again, much closer than last time. When we first sat down it was as ship mates who barely knew each other, now it was like friends, who still, barely knew each other.

"You see, I grew up on a small, but well developed island. There was a lot of light pollution so I could hardly see the stars. Definitely not how we can see them tonight. My parents were just business people, nothing special, but my grandmother was an astrologer. She taught me almost everything I know about the sky now." I slow down, "Before she passed she told me that the only place I could truly see the sky in its glory is the sea. There no one can pollute the sky with bright lights and you'll be the freest you'll ever be. So that's what brought me to the Grand Line I guess. My parents weren't so happy about it but I didn't care what they thought." I hadn't noticed my tears until a calloused hand wiped them away. A small gasp escapes my mouth as I look up at Zoro, our faces much closer than I ever thought they would be. His hand remains on my face as he looks at me, the gears in his head turning. He moves a stray (h/c) strand out of my face.

I don't know what drives me to do it but I wrap my arms around the man's waist and pull him into a hug. My ear against his chest. It takes a few moments but he soon returns the gesture sliding his strong arms around me. My heart skips a beat as he gently caresses my hair, running his fingers through it. I feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breaths, the beating of his heart echoing in my ear. I knew he was just as nervous as me, even if he refused to show it. I slowly pulled away and our eyes met, locked in to each other for what seemed like hours. A delicate smile was painted on his lips and I smile back at him. What were once cold eyes showed a new formed warmth and fondness. New feelings sparked in me as I looked at his expression and got lost into his gaze. Bravery flooded through me and I hoped he felt the same spark I did as slowly leaned towards him again. I closed the distance putting my forehead against his, eyes closed. I hesitate for a moment putting my hands on his warm cheeks, then softly place a kiss onto his lips. I pull back hands still cupping his face. I look at him, a blush dusted onto his face. He places a hand on my waist and closes the distance once more, returning the kiss with more force than the last. My hands move to his hair as he gently leans me back to the floor. I look into his eyes again when we come up for air.

"I don't hate everything you do, I definitely like this," I say bringing him into another kiss.

3

A few days had passed since the exciting night watch with Zoro. After getting caught with Zoro straddling me by Luffy we were too embarrassed to really talk to each other. Especially when the stupid captain brought it up during breakfast the next morning. Who knew the kid would expose us like that,

"Zoro why were you wrestling with (y/n) last night? I thought you didn't like playing, you never wrestle with me," Luffy pouts reaching for another piece of toast. This alerts Sanji instantly,

"You brute! Why would you lay a finger on my precious princess?! Explain yourself swordsman!"

Me and Zoro both turn red like a tomato and look away from each other quickly. Nami and Robin snicker both knowing what was going on.

"Um..w-well you see, Its not like you think Sanji. We weren't fighting its f-fine," I manage to blurt out before Sanji went completely apeshit on Zoro.

"But why was he on top of you (y/n)?" Luffy asks. At this point Zoro was just about ready to bolt out of the kitchen and I was just about ready to melt into a puddle of embarrassment. With Luffy's new statement it seemed to have clicked with our ero—cook what was really going on...

I shudder as I recall the events of that awful breakfast and rest my forehead on the chart I had been working on in the aquarium bar. Robin pats my head as she reads her book.

"(y/n), you're going to have to talk to Zoro again. You can't just keep ignoring him like this,"

"I'd rather die than have that awkward conversation. Plus he probably is totally over me now, he's avoiding me too you know," I mumble into the paper.

"I'm sure that's not the case (y/n). I bet he feels the same as you do right now," Robin reassures me, flipping the page.

"I think I'm going to go take a nap to clear my head," I say softly closing the lid to my ink and rolling the chart back up.

"Have fun," Robin replies, lost in her book like always.

I start my walk to the girl's room remembering how gentle Zoro was when we kissed. It was a nice surprise, I didn't realize how caring he could be. His smile flashed in my mind, how genuine it was, how deeply he listened to everything I said, truly interested in every story I told about the stars. Everything that night felt right after we took down our guard walls. God I hope that's not the last time I see his smile.

Hmm, tomorrow is my night off, I wonder what I should do. Sleeping that whole time sounds like a waste, maybe I'll pamper myself extra and take a longer bath. Yeah that sounds like it will be perfect.

I turn the corner and suddenly trip over something on the floor.

"Ack! What the hell was that?!" I yell, rudely pulled out of planning my night off. I turn around to see who tripped me to yell at them some more but stopped once I saw who it was. "Zoro?! W-what are you doing napping in the hallway?"

He blushes slightly and turns his head away from me, "I was waiting for you so I could talk to you."

"Oh, umm what did you want to talk about?" I ask sitting up,

"I wanted to apologize. For the other night," He says looking in his lap.

"What would you have to apologize for? You didn't do anything wrong" I reply

"If it wasn't for me taking things too far then Luffy wouldn't have embarrassed you in front of the whole crew like that. I'm sorry that I was the cause of that," Zoro says starting to get up. Before he could walk away I grab his arm and pull him back down. I look him in the eyes making sure he listens to what I have to say.

"Zoro, you have nothing to be sorry about, I don't think you took things to far. I'm glad you did what you did and no amount of embarrassment is going to change that," I start, "Look, I'm just glad you don't hate me. I really like you, you know."  

Those seemed to be the magic words as Zoro face lights up, the same beautiful smile he gave me that night resurfacing. He leans closer and kisses my cheek. "Meet me in the crows nest tomorrow night," He says, turning back into his confident self. He kisses me before getting up, "I really like you too," He says before turning and leaving me sitting in the hallway.

It didn't register what I got myself into until a few moments later.

"Holy shit, I just confessed to Zoro. AND HE LIKES ME BACK!" I yell to no one in particular. I jump up and run the rest of the way to the girls room like a 15 year old who just met their celebrity crush. Not my best moment but it was so good to know how Zoro felt about me. It was even better that he felt the same way about me as I felt about him. I was to excited after that to get a nap in but that was fine by me.

\ \ \

Nami came in to get me for dinner a few hours later. I was surprised she didn't ask me about what had happened between me and the swordsman, I'm sure everyone on the ship could hear my squeal of excitement earlier. I'm sure her pestering would come soon enough.

We make our way to the kitchen quickly not wanting Luffy to eat everything before we get there. I was going to sit in my normal spot next to Nami but before I could get there a familiar hand grabbed mine,

"Sit next to me," Zoro says gently tugging at my hand. I smile and sit next to him mouthing a quick sorry to Nami. The new seating arrangement did not go unnoticed by anyone. Everyone was either shocked or weirded out by how physical Zoro had become with you. His embarrassment was obviously gone as he shamelessly had his hand on my knee the entire meal and kissed my cheek every once in a while. Sanji was fuming the entire meal as well, and Zoro shot him his normal icy glares. It was almost as he was making fun of the cook at times or maybe just making sure that Sanji knew his place.

It actually wasn't long before the meal felt like just an average dinner on the Sunny. Brook singing and joking with Franky, Nami being annoyed with Sanji as Robin laughs at his antics, Luffy eating all the food while Chopper and Ussop try and match his impossible pace. Time seemed to slow down every time I ate with the rowdy crew, just having a good time.

After dinner I head to the back of the ship again to watch the sunset like normal. It was the perfect day for a nice sunset, just enough clouds to make the light shine just right, caressing the sky with beautiful pinks and oranges. I smile, stretch, and head to the grass to sit with Franky to start the night shift. We had planned to set up the telescope so I could do some extra research for my chart.

It was getting late and only a few of the crew members were still on the deck. I saw the light in the crows nest go out and Zoro heading down to the deck. I tell Franky I'd be back and went to go say goodnight to the moss head. I get to the bottom of the ladder just as Zoro does.

"You off to bed?" I ask.

"Yeah, I have to be up early for training tomorrow." He says yawning.

"Ok sleepy head, get some good rest. I'll see you in the morning,"

"Goodnight (y/n)," He smiles and leans down to gently kiss my lips. I watch him disappear into the ship before I go back to Franky and the telescope, a grin plastered on my face.

I love the whole "Zoro is actually a cuddle bug" head cannon so i sorta ran with it in this oops. anywhoo lmk how you like it or if u want more, i’ll be taking requests for x reader stuff and writing more so yeah

[transcendence-au]

r!Pacifica tricks Dipper into running a booth at a TwinCon. He comes across an r!Mabel and an r!Henry who meet at his booth. (Also, brownie points if it’s a Mizcor booth)They both talk about how much they love Alcor and want to date him, and Dipper helps them realize that the traits they’re projecting onto ‘Alcor’ are actually traits they can find in each other. SO WOODZAR HAS BLOSSOMED IN THE PLACE OF MIZCOR

Mod F got really excited about this and ended up writing a thing! (Here it is on AO3 too)

===

Dipper looked toward the entrance of the convention center, at the large banner proudly proclaiming “WELCOME TO TWINCON 2896″, and slammed his head face-first onto the table.

Damn Aubrey. Damn her to the deepest pits of the Nightmare Realm for making him run a booth at TwinCon. He couldn’t believe he’d let himself get taken in by her evil tricks and wily ways; couldn’t believe he made a bet with her and lost. That was the last time he trusted Pacifica’s soul. And he totally meant it this time! Way more than the last eight times Aubrey had tricked him. He definitely wasn’t going to immediately go back to being friends with her. This was the last straw.

A loud creak announced the opening of the main con doors, and the room was quickly filled with a flurry of excitement. Dipper picked his head off the table with a sigh and prepared himself for a long day of peddling garbage. He considered how he must look – a sad demon sitting under a sign reading “MICOR MEMORABILIA” and surrounded by perverse figurines, body pillows, and graphic novels.

And then his curiosity got the better of him. He conjured a mirror in his hand and immediately noticed his top hat was askew, so he reached up to straighten it out. Perfect. He actually looked pretty good that day if he did say so himself. His hair was fluffy, his suit was pressed, his teeth looked sharp. Nice and presentable. He was so busy making faces in the mirror that he almost forgot he was at a convention, until -

“Excuse me, sir?”

“Ack!” Dipper yelped in surprise, his hat shooting high into the air. Despite this, he didn’t take his eyes off the mirror. “What do you want?”

“I hope I didn’t frighten you! You’ve got some lovely merch here. I was just wondering how much this comic would cost.”

“Check the price tag,” he responded gruffly.

“I- I tried, but it doesn’t look like there is one.”

Groaning, Dipper flicked his eyes away from his own beautiful reflection so he could see exactly what depraved nonsense the voice wanted to purchase, and -

Mizar smiled sweetly back at him.

The mirror shattered in his hand. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. This wasn’t happening. Why was she here? What was going on?

“I’ve heard about this series before,” he suddenly realized Mizar was saying, “but I never had the chance to check it out before. It’s a coffee shop AU, right? It’s so inspiring that fans can take the framework of Twin Souls and make even more beautiful stories based off of it.”

Dipper’s head was too filled with buzzing to really make much sense of what she was saying. All he could think about was how his sister’s soul was apparently a fan of the worst book series in the universe. It didn’t even seem like she was doing it as a gag like Mabel did – the girl in front of him was radiating nothing but enthusiasm and sincerity in her aura.

“Oh, I’ve read that!” another voice piped in. “It’s dope as fuck, although the first volume’s got a bit of a Woodzar focus. But if you can power through that, it’s high key Micor there on out.”

Okay okay okay. He could do something about this. Maybe he’d take Mizar aside and have a talk with her about why being a Twin Souls fan was a sin of the highest calibre. Dipper tore his eyes away from her for a moment to tell the newcomer to go away, but no sooner did he get a good look at them than he felt all the air kicked out of his imaginary lungs.

“Don’t get me wrong, man,” Henry’s soul continued, a sly look on her face. “Woodzar is a fine ship. There’s a lot of good Woodzar fic out there and I don’t fault anyone for writing it. But if we’re gonna be honest with ourselves, it’s pretty obvious that Alcor and Mizar belong together. Their romantic chemistry is off the goddamn charts. Remember when they finally kissed in the first novel? Oh, fuckin’ heart palpitations, man.”

The blood drained from Dipper’s face. What in the world was happening? Why were Mizar and Henry both Twinners? What was the universe punishing him for this time??

“I know, right?” Mizar replied with a giggle. “My name’s Minty, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”

Henry’s soul grinned back. “Halley. Nice to meet you too. I knew coming to this con would be a good idea – it’s the perfect place to find like minded people.”

“What about you?” Minty asked, and it took Dipper a minute – so embroidered was he in querying his omniscience to see exactly what traumatizing thing had happened to Minty and Halley that made them turn out this way – to realize that she was talking to him.

“I, uh, I’m… not a… Micor is bad,” he said finally.

Halley frowned. “What, don’t you love Alcor too? You’re running a booth at TwinCon and your cosplay is on-point! That suit must’ve been expensive, and the wings look almost real!”

Puffs of steam shot out from Dipper’s ears and he flared his wings. “It’s not a cosplay, I just look like this! And I’ll have you know that I would’ve never in a million years gone to a TwinCon if my friend Aubrey hadn’t pretended to be really bad at hula hooping and then made a bet with me that she could beat me in a hula hoop contest and then absolutely kicked my ass into the stratosphere with her nutty good hooping! Graggh!” He slammed his forehead into the table again.

“Awwww,” Minty cooed. “Stage fright is the worst. I know I sure was nervous the first time I went to a con in full cosplay. That was awful nice of your friend to convince you to go anyway!”

Dipper’s head shot up and he stared slack-jawed at the two of them just as Halley nodded. “You’ve got this man, you know? Like I said, your outfit kicks ass. And hey, thanks for opening up to us. That can’t have been easy.”

“B- but I- you WHAT-” Dipper stammered.

Minty squeaked and clapped her hands together. “Yeah! I feel like I’ve made some great friends at this con already.”

“I’m- n- no you’re WILDLY mistaken- this isn’t-”

Both Halley and Minty turned their backs to the increasingly flustered demon and leaned against the stall, looking off into the rest of the hall with pensive expressions. “Friends are nice,” Halley murmured, “but what I wouldn’t give to meet Alcor at this convention. He’s everything I want in a partner. And then I wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.”

Minty put her hand on Halley’s shoulder. “I know what you mean! He’s so confident and protective. Loyal to a fault. If Alcor was here, I’d ask him on a date!”

“What makes you think Alcor wants to date any of you humans?” Dipper grumbled. “Or anyone at all?”

“Don’t be such a pessimist, man!” Halley responded. She patted Dipper on the back, surprising him into coughing out a little cloud of yellow sparkles. “Alcor is real and he’s out there. As long as there’s the smallest spark of hope that he might love me back, I’ll follow him to the ends of the Earth!”

Minty slapped her forehead, startling Dipper out of the silent terror written all over his face. “Oh, duh! He’s cosplaying as Alcor because he’s here to find his Miiiizar! That’s why he’s not interested in Alcor’s love! I connected the dots!”

“No, you haven’t connected anything!” Dipper tried to cut in, terror returning in full force because the situation was spiralling rapidly out of control, but Minty kept going.

“Ah, if only I was Mizar,” she trilled as Dipper watched her soul dance traitorously in her chest. “Then it’d only be a matter of time before Alcor came to ask me out. We’d go to the coffee shop he works at and someone would cover his shift. I’d get a hot chocolate; he, an iced latte.” She sat on the table, sending a set of Mizar action figures toppling over onto Dipper’s lap. “I’d tell him all about how art school’s going and he’d confide in me some dark secrets about how the 2801 moon landing was faked because giant aliens were playing golf with the planets and accidentally knocked the moon into a black hole. And then, finally, he’d give me a dainty kiss on the cheek, and I’d make a little squeaky noise, yknow, and he’d blush and ask me if it was alright for him to do that, and then I’d say I’d rather you kiss me on the lips instead. And then -”

“Okay, I think I’ve heard enough of your fanfiction!” Dipper shouted, cheeks going completely scarlet, claws making deep gashes in the table from how tightly he was gripping it. “I didn’t- I’ve never- No one needed to hear that, it’s- I feel lightheaded.”

“I know what you mean, man,” Halley spoke up, an obvious wobble to her tone. Dipper and Minty looked up to see her staring off into the distance, eyes red and puffy, hands crossed over her heart. “I’m feeling it too. That was so beautiful, Minty, you sure as hell have got a way with words. And yknow, I- I work in a coffee shop, actually. I’d totally take Alcor there. We’d talk and laugh – damn, he’s gotta just have the most heartwarming laugh in the world – and I’d straight up offer right there on the spot to be his Mizar. I wanna protect the world, but I also wanna protect him, I know he’s got a sensitive side, I just know it. I’d chew steel for him.”

No no no no. This had to stop. Mind racing, Dipper struggled to find something they’d said to latch onto. “Hey, uh, Minty!” he interrupted. “You like coffee shops, right? Halley… works in one! You should go there with her. Instead of being here.”

“That’s a great idea!” Minty squealed. “We should all meet up for coffee after the convention!”

“No!” Dipper blurted. “I meant, you two should go. Together. Without me.” All he got in return was blank stares. He ran his hand through his bangs nervously. “Listen, Minty, Alcor doesn’t work at a coffee shop, because no one in the country will hire him. His claws make awful screeching noises on the mugs, and also he’s a demon. But Halley does work at a coffee shop. Maybe… there’s something there?”

Minty and Halley traded glances. “I don’t understand,” the former finally said.

Dipper facepalmed. “Okay. How about… Halley, you want to protect Alcor. That’s ridiculous, he doesn’t need protecting, he has so much magic. But Minty goes to art school, she probably needs someone to, I dunno, support her during tight deadlines. That’s like… mental health protection.”

Minty shrugged. “I guess that sounds nice…”

“And, uh, Minty, you want someone who’s loyal, which sounds to me like what you really need is a dog, not a romantic partner, and I’m not- Alcor is not a dog. Also, again, he’s a demon, he’s only loyal to himself. But if you’re really set on getting that kind of loyalty and trust from a sentient creature, well, Halley’s offered to chew steel for love.”

“Hey man, don’t put words in my mouth, I said I’d chew steel for Alcor,” Halley countered, putting her hands on her hips and staring Dipper down. After a moment, though, she looked back at Minty, who had a starstruck look on her face, and drew back. “I- I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like you Minty. I just don’t want to be alone anymore. How can I trust someone other than Alcor not to get tired of me?”

“Kinda toxic, but also big mood,” Dipper muttered. “Trust isn’t something you can or even should have for people you don’t know. Not just for romance – in any kind of relationship, trust is something you build up through getting to know someone. I should know; there’ve been so many times when I made the mistake of trusting someone – say, not to snuggle body pillows with half naked pictures of me on them – without even knowing them, just because of my preconceived notions about who those people are. Relationships are always a risk, but they’re worth it when they work out. You’ll miss out if you’re too afraid to take that risk.”

He beamed at them, extremely proud of his little speech he’d managed to pull together. Minty and Halley stared back, mouths agape, probably blown away by his emotional maturity.

Then they launched themselves at each other and started furiously making out.

“Oh my stars!” Dipper yelled, recoiling from the mass of flailing limbs. “You literally just met each other! Go get a coffee or something first, holy shit!”

They broke apart, faces red but grinning. “Wow,” Minty breathed.

“Yeah. Wow,” Halley echoed. “Um, would you maybe want to walk around the convention with me? And maybe go get some coffee together afterward? I do work at a coffee shop nearby.”

Minty squealed again and grabbed Halley’s hands. “That sounds wonderful!”

“Yo, dude,” Halley said to Dipper, who was clutching his chest and hyperventilating. “Thanks for the advice. You’ve got some dope emotional maturity. Your friends are lucky to know you.”

Dipper, still trying to calm down, opened his mouth to make some words and only managed to emit a weak gurgle. He settled for giving them a nod.

The two of them started to walk away, but Minty paused and turned back. “Oh wait. We never got your name.”

“I’m Alcor the Dreambender,” Dipper grunted without a second’s pause. “Go away.”

Halley laughed. “Sure you are. You’re really committed to the character, I love it! Maybe we’ll see you around.”

Dipper gave them a strangled half-smile and waved them off, to which they finally made their departure. Finally alone, he collapsed onto the table out of exhaustion. He was relieved that he’d managed to turn Mabel and Henry’s souls away from being Micor shippers, but after a few minutes of lying there the reality of what he’d just done started to sink in.

“Oh stars, I just shipped my sister and her husband,” he moaned. “What is my life. Please, universe, let me get through the rest of the day without anything else happening. Please.”

Naturally, someone immediately started talking to him. “Yo, sleeping guy, wake up.”

“Whatever it is, please just use the credit card swiper and move on,” he responded.

“Dude, what swiper. Help me out.”

With a groan, Dipper picked his head up, and then he froze, his every hair standing on end like a terrified cat.

“This body pillow rocks,” Soos’s soul said, hugging one of the models that had both Alcor and Mizar on it, half naked and blushing. “You gotta hook me up.”

“Ohhhh, I have that pillow! You won’t regret it!” came another voice, and Dipper looked over to see Melody’s soul walking up to the table. “You’ve got good taste. Micor forever, am I right? Bro, there’s some really good smutfic I could recommend you if you’re interested.”

Dipper slid out of his chair and curled up into a ball under the table. “Damn you Aubrey,” he whispered. “I’ll fucking get you back for making me do this.”

(As it turned out, giving Aubrey a dream about being stuck at a convention where everyone was attracted to her did not adequately “get back” at her, and it was a full week before she stopped laughing about it.)

[fordanoia]

This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

Words: 1,900~ || CW: — || The parallel fic to ‘Hey Now, Hey Now.’ This time, Mabel’s Dream Bubble - But if Stan had been there for it. Following shortly after Wendy and Soos leave with their dream bubble father and friends.

-

“Hey, listen kid - go find Wendy, I’ll round up Soos. Let him play catch for five minutes then get him back, easy.”

Dipper nodded and set off.

Stan sighed, walked along for a while until he heard a familiar voice happily calling out for him.

“Stanley!”

“Ford?” He turned, seeing his brother hopping off a boat in the middle of the bouncy ground floor.

“Oh, so much for being captured, let me guess you already made it out, huh. This was exactly why I tried telling everyone to not even bother.” Stan gestured at him. “Congratulations on rescuing yourself.”

Ford’s face turned a bit sad, but there was no bitter or angry expression. “Stanley, listen I-”

“Wait a damn second, you’re from this bubble, aren’t you?” Stan interrupted.

Ford paused, shrugging. “Well- yes, but I-”

“Oh, isn’t that just great.” He crossed his arms over each other. “Gotta deal with an apocalypse and another version of you.”

Ford frowned, walking over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Please, give me a chance.”

“For what?” Whatever it was, he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“To tell you I was wrong.” Ford said.

“...what?” Stan blinked at him.

“Yes.” Ford took a breath. “You were right, Stanley, and I should have realized that beforehand. I never even thanked you for saving me.”

“Ya still haven’t actually.” Stan couldn’t help pointing out, and as soon as it slipped out he was ready for the jaded reply.

Instead, Ford half laughed, smiling. “An accurate assessment... Thank you, Stanley. I wouldn’t have ever gotten back home if it wasn’t for you.”

Stan’s chest felt a bit lighter, but not by much. “That’s great and all, but it’s a load of bull.” He said crossing his arms. “That punch in the face is a good enough reminder here that the great Stanford Pines isn’t grateful for me rescuing his butt.”

“That was wrong of me. There was a lot going on why I acted that way, but that’s no excuse... Not after you spent the past thirty years working every night to get me back.”

“Talking like you’re supposed to be him, huh.”

“Well, technically speaking, I am. Just a different version, like you said.”

Stan’s face pulled into a deep frown, and he didn’t say anything to that.

The silence held for a few seconds, then Ford continued, changing the subject. “Are you looking for Wendy and Soos?”

He shrugged. “Finding Soos is easy enough, just gonna go and grab Wendy. Convincing them to come along won’t be hard. Just gotta tell them to get off their butts and stop playing around.”

“That makes sense, they’ll listen to you, I’m sure.”

“Yeah,” Stan’s voice started to rise, sarcasm quickly filtering in until it was dripping from every word, “that’s the easy part. The hard part is trying and talking to Mabel, you know. Thanks to that oh so great and generous apprenticeship you offered Dipper!” He finally shot a scathing look at Ford.

When he didn’t say anything, just looking back at him with a slight look of guilt on his face - Stan continued.

“Thanks for that, by the way. I asked you to do ONE thing.” He held up a finger. “Just one- stay away from the kids, and look what you’ve done! I’ve never seen a pair of siblings get along like that before, but lo and behold you’re around one of ‘em for what? A couple weeks - and just look!” Stan let his frustration build, gesturing around roughly before jabbing a finger at Ford’s chest. It wasn’t really Ford so he didn’t have to hold back a single bit.

Everything poured out of him like the toxic waste stewing away in containers of the basement. “Of course, you’d split them up, Ford. You probably don’t even see what’s wrong with it. I should never have let Dipper hang around you.”

“I figured, hey - what’s the worst that could happen? You’d keep him safe at least, right? Kid’s been around enough spookums, he at least knows when something’s too dangerous. You cared enough about the kids, didn’t you? Enough that they’d be fine for a couple weeks, but no.”

“This is why I didn’t want you anywhere near the kids. I knew if it wasn’t one thing, it’d be another.”

“It wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry.” Ford told him genuinely.

Stan scoffed, contempt freely bubbling up his throat. “Because of you Mabel would rather live here than go out in the real world without a brother. She didn’t deserve this, you hear me.” His voice had been simmering, but like a switch had been flipped he started yelling in Ford’s face again - anger boiling over.

“She’s TWELVE years old, and she’s already losing her brother- because of you, Stanford!” He jabbed a finger at him again, walking towards him and making Ford take a couple steps back as he shouted. “This is all your fault! You’re ruining their lives! I should never have brought you back, damn it!” At that he roughly shoved him so hard, that it was a miracle he didn’t actually fall over.

Ford stumbled backwards, managing to catch his footing before outright falling. He took in a breath, his chest rising, and falling back down - simply just taking the words without so much as a flicker of anger across his face.

Stan breathed heavily for a few moments, all the boiling anger so high it felt like it was he was wading in a thick liquid that was all the way up against his throat. It felt like the liquid was draining away, falling lower, and then Stan realized through the haze what he’d just said.

Even worse though, he still felt it, and honestly? Maybe it wouldn’t have been better... at least Mabel and Dipper would have been fine...

Ford wouldn’t have though... so he probably would have done it again anyways... even if it was stupid. That’s just what he was though, wasn’t he...

“You were right to try and keep the kids away from me... I should have been more aware of what I was doing.” Ford said, calmly apologetic. “I’ll rescind the apprenticeship offer. A kid such as Dipper should be playing and in school, not doing some research away from everyone.”

“He’s still gonna want to go off with you.” Stan said, jaded.

“I’ll make it sound reasonable. A high school degree is necessary for any good college. I’ll just tell him it’ll have to wait until after high school. He’ll forget about it by the time he graduates. Him and Mabel will go back to how they were before I stepped in.” Ford assured him. “They’ll stick together.”

Stan didn’t say anything to that. It would have been a lot better if it’d been coming from the real Ford. “Whatever. I’m going to look for Wendy,” he eventually said, “group of teenagers shouldn’t be that hard to find.”

“Can I help?”

“I don’t care what you do.” Stan replied. As he started walking, Ford went along with him without hesitating.

-----

Ford brought it up again later, as though trying to make him feel better.

Stan leaned his head against his hands. “It’s just not gonna work, Sixer...”

“Why not?”

He sighed. “You came from here - Dipper won’t listen to you.” As much as he wish it could work...

“He doesn’t have to know that.”

Stan was taken back, and lifted his head to look over at Ford. “What?”

“Well, I’m the only version that can talk to him.” He glanced away briefly. “That other one - is just some frozen statue. He’s not doing anything.” He explained easily. “All you have to do is tell him you found me, and saved me. I’ll tell him the apprenticeship is over, and Dipper and Mabel can reconnect inside this bubble. It’s the perfect place for them.”

“What about when the kids want to go out and stop Bill?” Stan asked, something uneasy sliding into his stomach at the way Ford was talking.

“We just tell them it’s too dangerous. Time is at a standstill after all, so there’s no rush, is there? We can even tell them we’re going off to look for a solution.” Ford continued.

“Not sure about all that.” Stan said slowly. It was a good plan though. It could definitely work. Between a life-like image of his brother and himself both telling the kids to stay put, it’d work. Dipper would trust Ford that they were working on something to stop Bill, and Mabel didn’t even want to leave, of course. It was full-proof.

Ford frowned slightly. “We would finally get to go sailing, Stan...”

Stan had to retrace his thoughts, his heart leaping up at that before he drudged it back down again. “We would?” He asked hesitantly.

He started to smile, face lighting up as he talked. “Yes. Yes, we would! There’s a sea out there, Mabeland can make it as big as we want - with whatever islands we could ever want to explore. Come on, just think about it, Stan!” He encouraged him, a hand on his shoulder. “This is finally our chance to go sailing and treasure hunting. Let’s take it.”

It was smooth and warm and as tempting to swallow down as a cup of hot cocoa, just sitting right there for him. Stan blinked back tears at his brother’s face so earnestly excited and actually wanting to go sailing with him, like they were both a couple of kids again - but this time they could actually do it. There was already a boat and everything.

“We won’t have this chance outside the bubble, Stanley. This is the only way we can do it.” Limited time offer. Buy now.

He had to take a moment, bite back on what he wanted to say, then pull himself through to actually talk. “Nice pitch.” Stan finally said. “I’m not buying it though.”

As Stan went to brush its hand off of him, its other intervened and grabbed onto his shoulder to be directly facing him. “Tell me why not.” It asked in earnest.

“Because you’re not him.” The words came out all on their own.

“After everything, you deserve to go treasure hunting with a brother who wants to go with you.” It said. “Even if you fix everything, he won’t want to go sailing with you.”

One Time Only Deal! Get it before it’s g o n e

Stan wound his fist back and punched it right in the face, the thing spilling backwards. “Yeah, well you know what - maybe I never had a brother that actually wanted to go treasure hunting with me. Guess what though - I also don’t want a fake one who does.”

It sat up from the ground, glasses oddly reflecting to hide the eyes. “...What about Mabel and Dipper?”

“They’re better than we were. Plus, they’re smart kids. They’d figure out you’re not real pretty quick, pal.”

Just like that its skin turned to dark crawling bugs and the atmosphere changed around him, turning dark.

Stan shouted at the sudden change, whipping his head from the figure crumpling into a pile of twenty different kinds of bugs in front of him to literal blood red sand.

A cheerful noise caught his attention and he checked behind himself to see a distant small horse with wings singing and when he glanced back again, just like that - everything was back to what he guessed counted as normal here.

“Okay, I’ve had my fill of creepy stuff here, thanks.” He stepped his way around the spot the other had been at and ran off to find the kids again.

[anistarrose]

Cross the Night Sky of an Unknown Galaxy (Month of Maybel 2019)

Summary: First, Stan is afraid that the kids don’t trust him. 

Then, he’s afraid that Mabel trusts more than he deserves, and he’s going to lose her because of it.

Word Count: ~1200

Warnings: none

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18951154

Not adhering to a particular @themonthofmaybel theme, but it’s definitely Mabel-centric so I’m going to count it! Also something of a Not What He Seems tribute, as well as a bit of a style experiment at points. I love my sweater-wearing daughter and all of her shooting star imagery.

Sagan said famously that we are all made of star stuff — but that shared heritage is more evident in some of us than others. Mabel Pines is one such person, from which the origins of all life’s shared building blocks shine through most brilliantly.

Stan watches helplessly as she clings to the shutdown switch, his back smashed up against a crumpled ventilation pipe that spews steam as his fez threatens to lift off his head. His stomach tries to climb into his throat once again, just like when he’d arrived back at the Mystery Shack with burning lungs and trembling legs only to find the vending machine swung wide open and the passageway exposed — dusty six-fingered handprints and all, laid bare after thirty long years for anyone to see.

Mabel makes a fist, and time crawls nearly to a halt as she lowers it towards that pulsating red button, the one thing standing between Stan and fixing the worst mistake of his life, between Stan and bringing Ford back into this world where he would be safe, he would be home, he would be able to meet his great-niece and nephew —

“I wanted to say that you’re gonna hear some bad things about me —”

The fist stops, and two eyes — still wet with tears — turn upwards to meet Stan’s.

“And some of them are true! But trust me, everything I’ve worked for, everything I care about — it’s all for this family!” The whole basement feels like it’s crumbling around Stan, as the portal spews lightning like the maw of some cosmic dragon.

“Mabel, what if he's lying?” Dipper cries out. “This thing could destroy the universe! Listen to your head!”

“Look into my eyes, Mabel!” Stan begs, and Mabel does, lightning bolts weaving around her like even they’re on the edge of their seats, desperate to see what she’ll do. “You really think I’m a bad guy?”

“He’s lying! Shut it down, now!”

“Mabel, please!”

The electricity retreats back into the portal abruptly, and the columns of light flanking the portal each condense into a dozen pure blue beams stretching from floor to ceiling. Mabel closes her eyes as her flattened palm drifts towards the button, the portal a multicolored hurricane behind her with a star-dotted void as its eerily calm eye.

“Grunkle Stan…”

She looks away… and then lets go, drifting up towards the storm and towards the void, like a shooting star crossing the night sky of an unknown galaxy. She holds her arms helplessly above her head in a solemn gesture of faith, exposing the key design on her sweater.

“I trust you.”

Stan’s pounding heart skips a beat and his mouth goes dry as space distorts around him like a wave, and his greatest fear abruptly shifts from she’ll shut it down and everything I’ve worked for will be for nothing to she’ll fall in and everything I’ve worked for will end with losing her too —

The portal lights up like a supernova, and Stan’s vision goes all white except for the shards of glass from a shattered picture frame. They drift past his face, coming inches away from cutting his cheeks, and in them he can imagine reflections of a hundred different scenes, different realities playing out at the portal — Mabel falling in, Stan himself falling in, no one falling in but a horrific creature with maliciously gleaming eyes and flaming golden tongues pulling itself out with long, spiderlike legs —

A force strikes him from the front, in his chest, yet somehow throws him forwards, before normal gravity resumes and he plummets to the ground, breath knocked out of him. He rises to his hands and knees slowly, terrified to face what he may have just done, but when he opens his eyes to see both Mabel and a familiar cloaked figure — grey-haired, broad-shouldered, and six-fingered — standing in front of him, a weight lifts off his shoulders for the first time in thirty years.

***

Mabel isn’t too worried when Stan comes to sit next to her while she knits — his eyes aren’t flickering from side to side in that confused, uncomfortable way that she’s come to recognize throughout the past few days, and he’s been improving a lot recently anyways. He hasn’t had any relapses for over a day, at least as far as she knows.

But when he puts his arm over her shoulders and she hears his breath hitch in his throat, she can’t help but panic, as much as she tries to hide it for Stan’s sake.

“Grunkle Stan? What’s wrong?”

“I’m okay, pumpkin,” he whispers quickly, though his tone doesn’t do much to assuage Mabel’s worries. “I just… I remembered getting Ford back?”

He phrases it like a question, like he’s not sure whether it really happened, and Mabel just can’t bear to hear it.

“Do you want to talk to him? Wait right there, I’ll go get him for you — he just went outside with Dipper, but I’m sure they couldn’t have gotten far —”

“No, it’s — it’s fine. I’m fine, and… I think I probably should talk to him sometime, about… things, but —”

He finally makes eye contact with her, and she realizes that his eyes are tinted red.

“I want to talk to you, Mabel,” he tells her, resting his hands on both her shoulders. “Why did you have to let go of the lever? I thought you were gonna fall in, and I was gonna lose you too…”

“Oh, I — I’m —”

Mabel dives forwards, wrapping her arms around him.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize I scared you, I never meant to —”

“No, it’s okay…” Stan pats her on the head, slowly and carefully. “You gave me a heart attack, but you also got me my brother back…”

His voice drops to a low murmur. “I don’t know why you trusted me. I wouldn’t have trusted me.”

“I — I almost didn’t, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel whispers, burying her face in his shoulder. “I almost thought you were the bad guy, and that you wanted to destroy the world — and it still keeps me up at night sometimes even though Grunkle Ford tells me it shouldn’t, ‘cause I almost took your brother away from you!”

She hasn’t told this to anyone but Ford himself before, when they crossed paths after a recent nightmare of hers, and she doesn’t know if getting it off her chest to Stan will make her feel better or make them both feel worse — but once she starts talking, it all spills out.

“But I… I thought about you protecting us from the zombies and the pterodactyl, and I remembered all the Stancakes you made us and all the times you did illegal stuff right in front of us without bothering to hide it, and — and how worried you always got when Dipper told stories about a monster that almost really hurt us — and I knew that I couldn’t —”

“Thank you,” Stan interrupts her — no anger or disappointment in his voice, just gratitude and relief. “Thank you so much, Mabel.”

“Even though I almost didn’t trust you?”

“No, I think… you trusted me just the right amount.” Stan says, hugging her tighter. “Even though I wish you didn’t let go of that lever.”

“Is everything alright?” Ford pokes his head in the room, brow furrowed in concern.

“Yeah, it is,” Stan told him, “thanks to Mabel, as usual.”

***

(End notes:)

Thanks for reading, reblogs/feedback are welcomed as always!

In the process of writing the scene, I realized it might not make much sense for the picture of Dipper and Mabel from Stan’s desk to end up in front of his face while the portal is activating, but gravity can distort space so let’s just say some weird scifi stuff happened to that picture and that’s why it’s not where it should be.

[sevralships]

“Mood Lighting”

A Pinecest one-shot for my wonderful valentine, @handleonthescandal ! Happy Valentine’s Day, Handy, have some OTP from your OTP.

Mabel Pines had always been a romantic at heart. After a lifetime of dreaming of her Prince Charming, she’s beginning to find High School dating disheartening. But when he turns up somewhere unexpected, she has to adjust to dreams looking a little different when they come true. 

Pinecest, 5,736 words. Pretty SFW. Tw incest. Tw cuteness ahead.

Fic under the cut, enjoy!

I was always a romantic, no doubt about that. I developed my taste for romance around the same time I developed a taste for sugar. I was hardly forming full sentences before I was taken with the idea of Prince Charming. Dipper had to play his fair share of knights, and husbands, and suitors in our games growing up. In all fairness, I was hardly the only little girl with romantic aspirations. Most of my friends, just like me, found room for lovey dovey daydreams amid their busy schedules of tea parties and naptimes. Some girls outgrew it, some grew into it, but for me it just grew. I got bigger, of course, and my hunger for a great love story got bigger right along with me. It even surpassed my hunger for sugar somewhere around the ninth grade.

It was around this time, it seemed, that boys had their first glimmer of interest in something most of the girls had been sighing about since pre-school. And it was with great delight that I acquired my first Boyfriend. Yes, ma’am, real Boyfriend! A capital B Boyfriend, not a weirdo, not a merman, no funny business. I hadn’t even had to trick Kevin into dating me! Nope, in fact, he’d asked me out! He’d slipped a love note into my locker, a stilted poem about how I was pretty and smelled nice. When I showed Dipper, he had just rolled his eyes and pointed out the spelling errors, but I’d been over the moon.

Until Kevin had stood me up at the Halloween Dance. That was probably the first time that being surrounded by candy did absolutely nothing to cheer me up.

But it was okay! My true love was waiting for me, and one little hurdle wasn’t going to trip me up! I dove into High School dating with a mission. My soulmate was there, right around the corner, slamming his locker, or bending over the water fountain, or waiting in line in the cafeteria. And I was going to find him, even if I had to kiss a lot of frogs to find my prince.

After Kevin, there was Tyler, my first jock. The Rom-Coms were right about that one, though, he was a jerk. And after Tyler, there was James, my first nerd. He really liked to hear himself talk. And after James, there was Kyle, my first edgy kid. I liked him because I thought maybe he was so sad because he was sensitive. Turned out he was sad because he had no personality. And after Kyle, there was Mike (my first real summer romance the summer after freshman year), after Mike, Benny (my first cigarette-smoker), then Carl (my first pot-smoker), and Ian (my first band kid), and Jonah. Jonah was the first one that I broke up with, when I got tired of him trying to stick his hand under my clothes.

It wasn’t really the hand-under-the-clothes thing that bothered me, I’d discovered that I really liked sex stuff the summer before with Mike. It was the way Jonah did it. There was never any atmosphere. We’d be pulled over in his car, which always smelled a little like a locker room, and the radio would be on too loud, playing more commercials than songs and making it impossible to talk. It was too cramped and too dark, and his clumsy hands would just want to push my clothes out of the way and grab. I broke up with him and he didn’t even try to hold onto me. He just said ‘okay’ and drove me home.

Getting out of his car was a relief, the crisp February air a nice change after the grody Eau d’Gym Socks of Jonah’s car. It was a little chilly, and I wasn’t dressed warmly enough, and I walked briskly up the path to the front door. I could tell mom and dad were asleep the second I opened the door. The lights were off in the living room and the kitchen, and the only illumination was from the light on the stairs. I stood there for a moment, leaning my back against the door, looking into the dim living room. What am I doing? I asked myself, allowing myself to feel a little discouraged now that I was alone. All these boys had seemed so special at first. Some of them had bought me flowers and chocolates, some of them had taken me to fancy dinners, or even cooked me dinner themselves. Some of them had worn ties on dates, some of them had lit candles and peeled my clothes off, looking at my skin like they really loved me, insisting in hushed voices that they really loved me. But they didn’t usually get my jokes, and sometimes they told me not to be so weird. Sometimes they got pushy or angry when I wasn’t in the mood to have sex. It was seeming less and less like all it was cracked up to be. Dipper will be able to help, I assured myself, and went upstairs to his room.

The door was open a few inches and I could hear his music, the volume turned low so it wouldn’t wake our parents. It was a band we both liked, not something ham-handed Jonah would ever find on the radio. I rapped my knuckles on the door a couple times in our signature knock, TAP, taptap, TAP, and peeked in. He was at his desk, playing a computer game, with music playing from his phone, “Heya, Mabes,” he said distractedly.

“Howdy,” I said, walking over and sitting on his bed as he paused his game.

“You’re home early,” he said drily, glancing at the time on his phone.

“We broke up,” I said, simply.

“Good,” Dipper replied, only then looking at me. I felt a little over-dressed all of a sudden, in meticulously chosen dress and cardigan and tights and shoes, while Dipper sat in his desk chair in a ratty pair of pajama pants and an unbuttoned stained flannel shirt. It’s not that it mattered between us, but the contrast just struck me once he looked at me. His brow creased in concentration, “It is good, right? Jonah’s a jackass.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, “He is a jackass.”

“So, then, why do you look so upset?” he asked.

I shrugged, looking down at the repeating pattern of teensy black Scottie dogs on my skirt, “I just dunno why this keeps happening to me,” I said, “I’m an awesome girlfriend, but it seems like there aren’t any decent boyfriends to be found.”

“Mabel, c’mon,” Dipper scoffed, “You must know that’s bullshit.”

My eyes flashed back to his, trying to find some explanation to quell my anger, “What the heck do you mean? You just said yourself that Jonah’s a jackass!”

“Oh, no, yeah, totally. Jonah is a total asshole,” Dipper assured me, “But so were all of the others. If you want to have a good boyfriend, you like need to find a good boy for starters.”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about!” I cried, slapping my palms against his unmade bed, “You didn’t get to know any of them!”

“I didn’t have to get to know them!” Dipper rolled his eyes, and began counting off his fingers, “Too dumb to spellcheck a love note, jock asshole, know-it-all with nothing in common with you, boring goth kid, thought you were easy pussy–”

“Whoa, I am not!” I interrupted, jumping to my feet.

“I didn’t say you were,” Dipper insisted, indicating himself by placing his fingers on his chest, “But that dumbass Mike definitely hung around you ‘cause he thought you were–”

“That’s not true,” I said, feeling the tears prickling my eyes.

“I’m sorry, Mabes,” Dipper said, trying to back-track, “I was trying to make you feel better. I guess… I kinda messed that up. I was just trying to say you’re not the problem.”

“Oh, sure,” I said, wiping my eyes impatiently, “I’m not the problem, the fact that I date losers is the problem!”

“You just could maybe use to be a little more picky,” Dipper suggested casually.

“That’s a great way to call me easy without calling me easy, hotshot,” I snapped. Dipper paled and broke eye contact, “Besides, if I’m not looking everywhere, if I’m not willing to try anyone, I could miss him!”

“Miss who?” Dipper asked, cluelessly.

“My soulmate, you nerd!” I said, exasperatedly, walking over to the door.

“Maybe it’s looking everywhere that’s making you miss him,” Dipper grumbled behind me. I turned back, cocked my head at him needing further explanation, “Maybe,” he shrugged, looking back at his computer screen, “Maybe while you’re doing all this looking around and trying, he could be right under your nose.”

I blinked a couple times, considering what he’d said. His eyes didn’t leave his computer, but he hadn’t unpaused the game. He was just avoiding my eyes. I knew him better than anyone, I wasn’t fooled. His hair, neck, and shoulders were rimmed with the cool bluish light of the computer screen, and I could see the small twitch in his jaw of him grinding his teeth. Willing me to leave, “Well, thanks for cheering me up,” I said sarcastically, “Good night, Dip,”

“Night,” he said curtly, and I shut the door behind me before going into my own room across the hall.

There was nothing I wanted more than to ignore Dipper’s unsolicited advice. I was all ready to put it out of my head and go to sleep, but it’s like an idea was wiggling its way into my noggin, and it wasn’t going to leave me alone until I dealt with. So I plopped down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. Was I going about this the wrong way? I tried to ignore the anger and revulsion that threatened to flare up in me again and look at what Dipper had said. Was I not being picky enough? I had dated pretty much anyone that had shown any interest, but there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with that. There hadn’t seemed to be any harm in it, but I hadn’t considered until tonight that anyone might be under the impression that I was easy. Am I easy? What does that matter even if I am? Well, Dipper seemed to think that I was too distracted by dating everybody to notice my soulmate right under my nose. Well, if my own brother thinks I’m a slut, then my soulmate probably thinks so too, I thought to myself pessimistically, knowing even as I formed the thought that it wasn’t fair to Dipper.

Dipper had seemed convinced that the problem was that I wasn’t dating any guys that were nice enough. But I’d been dating all the nicest guys I could find. Sure, they were flawed, but wasn’t everyone? They all had so many redeeming qualities, too. And even though all these breakups were discouraging, even though Dipper had planted a new worry about what all this dating was doing to my reputation, I wouldn’t undo any of it. I was glad for the opportunity to get to know all those guys. As flawed as they were, everyone is special. Dipper was just biased. It was normal for a guy to want the best for his sister, but it was unrealistic. It’s not like I’m gonna find a guy as nice as Dipper.

I must have fallen asleep at some point thinking about it, because then I was waking up, still in my date clothes, with the Saturday morning sunlight pouring in my window and brightly illuminating my bedroom. I blinked at the brightness, the pink of my walls seeming too vivid this morning. I was disoriented and turned next to me to ask Dipper what was going on. But he wasn’t beside me, only the big fluffy pig body-pillow that I cuddled with every night. I stared at the beady plastic eyes and the velour snout and said out loud to him, “You’re not Dipper.”

The faux pig stared back at me uncomprehendingly as I tried to puzzle out where Dipper had gone. I felt certain that we had gone to bed together. I groped for a memory of what had happened last night. I remembered his signature knock on the door, I remembered him slipping into my bed with me, I remembered how his kisses had been more tender than any I’d ever imagined, how his hands had ignited a fire on my skin–

“Oh, God,” I moaned, realizing finally that that had been a dream. That, in fact, I had fallen asleep a bit ticked off at Dipper about our conversation and then had a sex dream about him. It wasn’t just a sex dream, though, I had to admit to myself, it was a love dream. I hadn’t spent all these years dreaming about love to not recognize a love dream when it actually showed up. I looked at my door, thinking about Dipper snoring right across the hall. He wasn’t exactly the Prince Charming I’d spent the last 15-odd years expecting, despite how often he’d played the role in our childhood games. He wasn’t particularly suave, or thoughtful, or exotic. He didn’t know how to dress, that was for sure, I wasn’t certain he even knew how to tie a tie. And also he was my twin brother. I groaned again, and swung my legs off the side of the bed, hoping my morning shower would help clear my head.

I left the bathroom light off, letting the daylight from the window fill the room with a soothing diffused light. I turned on the water, gratefully shedding my date clothes from the night before as I waited for the water to heat up. Just losing those clothes made me feel immensely better, like I was molting the failure of my and Jonah’s relationship. I let the clothes land unceremoniously on the floor and glanced thoughtfully at my reflection in the mirror. I tried to imagine what other people saw when they looked at me. Do guys really look and me and just think that they could get laid? I didn’t want to be with anyone who saw me that way. Dipper doesn’t see you that way. I frowned at myself, of course he doesn’t expect me to fuck him, he’s my brother.

I tested the water with my hand and stepped into the steam and the heat. I put my head under the stream of the showerhead and closed my eyes, relishing the soothing feeling of the water on my scalp and running through my hair. But nearly the moment I shut my eyes, there was Dipper in my mind’s eye, standing in the shower with me. Wet bangs hanging into his eyes, water dripping off his nose as he gave me a playful smile, the mischievious one that usually precipitated tickling. But when his hands found my sides, they didn’t tickle, but just caressed my skin gently, wrapping around my waist and pulling me into a hug. I imagined how it would feel to wrap my arms around his skinny waist, my hands trailing up and down his back, my cheek laid on his chest. Achingly, I wrapped my arms around myself. Dipper was only a few yards away, really, but he’d never felt so far from me. How could I go on just being his sister, now that I knew he was the true love I’d been looking for all this time?

Suddenly, the shower wasn’t all too comforting and I washed myself quickly and shut the water off. I stood there for a moment in the steamy little cubicle of the shower, adjusting to the quiet without the water thrumming against the curtain and tile. I sighed, feeling the little drops of water rolling down my legs. I tried to focus on the feeling and the silence, to draw my attention away from this disturbing new discovery. I focused on the sound of the shower curtain rings sliding along the curtain rod, the feeling of the bathmat soft and dry under my feet, the way goosebumps rose on my damp skin, and my towel wicked the moisture away. I tied it around my chest and left the bathroom, only to find my path obstructed by a clearly just-woken Dipper. His hair was mussed from sleeping, completely flat on the left side of his head where it had pressed against the pillow. He was blinking groggily, his brown eyes slowly adjusting to my presence right in front of him. If he’d gone to open that door without knocking a second sooner, I’d have been standing in front of him in my birthday suit, I thought. As if hearing the same thought, he blushed a little. I averted my eyes, staring at his chest. He had ditched the flannel shirt and wore only the pajama pants I’d seen him in the night before. My hands itched to touch his skin, see if it felt the way that it had in my thoughts.

“Mabel,” Dipper said, his voice a little lispy from sleepiness, his tone apologetic, “I’m–” My lips crashed into his before he could finish his sentence. He has morning breath, I noted at once, but it was drowned out completely by the chorus of Mabels rejoicing and scolding me in my head. His lips were softer than I’d ever imagined they might be, softer than any of my misguided boyfriends, and he made the softest mmph! of surprise against me. It had nothing to do with the specific feeling of his kiss, though, it was the feeling of him. It was there. That inexplicably moving intense lightning-bolt thing that I’d heard about and yearned for since my mom still read me bedtime stories. The rejoicing half of me was rejoicing about this, this feeling of utter, sublime rightness, of closeness and completeness. The scolding half of me was screaming he’s your brother louder and louder, approaching deafening by the second. And then Dipper’s lips opened, inviting more, welcoming more, even beseeching. With that invitation, my tongue cautiously sought his as his hands found my waist, gripping me tentatively through my towel. His tongue swept along mine and I grew bolder, kissing him harder, desperate for more of this feeling of utter correctness. Dipper gave another soft sound against me, and this time I heard a sound rise out of myself, a throaty whimper I was positive I’d never made before.

As Dipper’s hands tightened on my waist, i took a couple steps back, never allowing our lips to part, reaching behind him to shut the door. However, to my dismay, the sound of the door clicking shut seemed to wake him from the blissful daze of our kisses. He pulled back suddenly and I opened my eyes to find him blinking at me, his eyes now completely alert. I could see the panic brewing in them, it was a look I knew well. He let go of me, as though he’d been burned and took a step back, “Mabes… Mabes, I… it… what…”

“I’m sorry, Dipper,” I lied. In truth, the only thing I felt sorry about at the moment was that the kiss had ended, not that it had begun, “I probably shouldn’t have done that,”

He shook his head uncertainly, “Why…why did you do that?”

“I wanted to,” I said honestly, without thinking about whether that was an acceptable answer.

“You…wanted to…?”

“I’m sorry,” I lied again, although the panic was beginning to settle on my shoulders too, “I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to, you’re my brother, I wasn’t thinking–”

“I wanted to,” Dipper said quietly, lifting his eyes off the bathroom floor and meeting my gaze again. That silenced me. I looked back at him dumbfounded, “I’ve wanted to for a long time. I’m sorry…”

“Why are you sorry?” I asked, reaching out and taking his hands in mine. They were shaking slightly.

“This isn’t something I’m supposed to want,” Dipper said firmly, and my heart twinged, certain that he’d been telling himself for ages, “You’re my sister, and I love you.” My heart leapt slightly at the words, even though we’d said them to each other countless times over the years.

“I’m beginning to think I love you, too,” I said, hoping he’d hear the new significance in my tone. As I said it, I felt the panic sinking its claws into me properly and my breath started coming harder, “I…I need to sit down,” I gasped.

Dipper led me to sit on the closed toilet seat, squeezing my hands reassuringly, “It’s okay, just…just breathe. You’re just hyperventilating a little. It’s a…uh, common side effect of developing romantic feelings for your sibling, trust me,” I don’t know how much time passed that way, holding onto his hands for dear life as I managed to get my breathing back under control. When I felt like I could, I met his eyes again. And there it was, that lightning bolt rightness all the love songs talked about. His brow was creased with concern, and the second my eyes met his he gave me a tiny crooked smile and squeezed my hands a little tighter. I squeezed back. He licked his lips nervously, “Do you mean it?”

I nodded, “Yeah, although I only just figured it out recently.”

“How recently?”

“Um,” I felt my cheeks getting hot, “This morning,”

“Jesus, Mabes!” Dipper exclaimed. He seemed embarrassed, anxious, torn, “You need to think about this! We can’t dive into this blind. Oh my god–”

“No, Dip,” I released his hand, stroking his messy hair, “I don’t need to think about it. I know what I want.” He looked at me uncertainly, “Do…do you really? Do you really…feel it, too?”

He nodded rapidly, “Yes,” he said instantly, the corner of his mouth quirked up in a little smirk, “Definitely. Absolutely.”

I gave a snort, and then cocked my head at him, “When did you figure it out?”

His smirk wilted in shyness, “Umm…over… over a year ago.”

“Wow,” my eyes widened, “I always knew you had better self-restraint than me but holy moley,”

“Okay, Mabes, well it sounds like it took you like two hours to give in and kiss me,” Dipper said, “That’s a pretty low bar as self-restraint goes.”

I shrugged, “Fair enough,” I bit my lip, “Sooo… can I kiss you again?”

Dipper blushed furiously and stammered out, “Uh, yes… um, of course… but I um, can I maybe pee first?”

I laughed and hopped up to my feet, gesturing to the toilet with a flourish, “Your throne awaits, Sire,” I teased, “I’mma go get dressed,” Dipper nodded, seeming both relieved and disappointed by my choice. I shut the door behind me and scurried to my room. The scolding Mabels in my head were piping down and I bounced around my room in disbelieving triumph. Once the victory dance was out of the way, I dropped my towel and opened my dresser drawers, getting dressed distractedly. It was weird. I’d always been worried about how I dressed for guys that I liked. My outfit for my date the previous night with Jonah, for instance, which was lying still on the bathroom floor, had been carefully selected after half hour of trying on different outfits. But this was Dipper. He’d seen me in every kind of dress; diapers, pajamas, formal dresses, homemade sweaters. He’d seen me sick in bed, he’d seen me throw up from car sickness, he’d seen me cry over everything from coffee commercials to funerals. He probably doesn’t even notice my outfit choices, I noted, and even if he notices, he doesn’t care. I would have thought I’d find that discouraging somehow, but it was actually immensely liberating. I pulled on a pair of sequin-lined purple leggings and a big blue tee shirt, a souvenir from the previous year’s school production of ‘My Fair Lady’, and wrapped my discarded towel around my hair. This is definitely the most comfortable outfit I’ve ever worn for a date, I thought before asking myself whether or not kissing my brother in my bedroom counted as a date.

Before I could consider it much further, Dipper was at my door. TAP taptap TAP, “You may enter!” I called and he opened the door.

He had wet and combed his hair, which had only helped a little bit. He had also stopped by his room and pulled on a wrinkled tee shirt. He smiled at me nervously before stepping over the threshold and shutting the door, “Hey,” he said, as if we hadn’t just tongue-punched each other in the bathroom.

“C’mere, nerd,” I said, sitting down on the bed and patting the mattress beside me. He crossed the room and sat beside me, “Now’s the part where you kiss me.”

“In a sec, Mabes,” Dipper said, chewing his lip, “I really feel like we should talk about this more. I don’t want you to rush into something this weird without seriously considering the pros and cons.”

“I know you swear by pro-con lists, but they’ve really never been my style,” he rolled his eyes, “Okay, okay. I get what you’re saying. But Dipstick, if I’m not mistaken, you love me like more than a sister, and I love you like more than a brother. As incest affairs go, this has gotta be pretty straightforward.” He cringed at the word ‘incest’, and I realized I maybe ought to be a bit more delicate, “You’ve really been having a hard time with this junk, haven’t you?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, “I have,” he took my hand in both of his, “I’m sorry for being a dweeb. To be honest, I couldn’t be happier,” He blushed, “I kinda am just trying to wrap my head around this,”

“I’m happy, too,” I said, softly, and without releasing my hands, Dipper leaned forward and kissed me. All thoughts about talking it over, waiting, having some chill just evaporated, and I let myself melt entirely into his kisses, and into the complete safety I had always felt in his presence.

The next few days were a blur. Every day, I seemed to discover new depths to my love for Dipper. And he…well, now that the dam had broken, he was swept up in the current of a deluge. It was strange, though. It wasn’t the way that I’d ever imagined finding my soulmate would be. Because he was still Dipper. He still stayed up way later than me, playing video games, planning DD&D campaigns, researching cryptids and alien sightings. He still had to be reminded that once dirty clothes went in the hamper, they shouldn’t be worn again until they’d been washed. He was still my dorky, low maintenance dweeb of a brother. I’d spent all these years watching rom-coms and reading romance novels and listening to love songs, inventing this guy in my head. The perfect man, who’d have so-and-so’s jaw, and whats-his-name’s ass, and how he’d dress, and how he’d be a poet and play guitar and any number of things. The strange thing was that I wasn’t sad to say adios to that fantasy, not really. It was just taking some getting used to that all the little quirks I’d gotten used to about my best friend were actually quirks of my true love all this time.

So it was weird for me when I realized that Valentine’s Day was only a day away. I’d only ever experienced one Valentine’s Day with a boyfriend, James the nerd the previous year. And I hadn’t so much experienced Valentine’s Day as experienced him talking about how stupid mainstream traditions surrounding it were and how little it had to do with the likely-apocryphal martyrdom of Saint Valentine. Dipper wasn’t going to do that, but to be honest, I had no idea what he would do. Be real, Mabel-girl, I told myself, Dipper probably doesn’t even know that Valentine’s Day is February 14th. I told myself not to get my hopes up. But then while we were cleaning up from dinner on the 13th, dad told us how he was taking mom out for a nice dinner the following day and that we’d have the house to ourselves until late. I gave Dipper a sidelong glance, but he didn’t seem to hear what was being discussed. I tried in vain to push my hopes down and out of sight.

Valentine’s Day arrived and I pulled on a pink dress covered in red hearts. Whether the bro-friend did anything special today or not, it was my duty as Mabel to dress for the occasion. I maybe took it a little further than necessary, piling on every heart-themed accessory I could find. Dipper raised an eyebrow at my outfit at breakfast, but said nothing about it. School passed by slowly but without incident. Normally, there was an least one or two classes where something festive happened. Some silly busy-work that loosely aligned with a holiday, or an exchange of relevant candy, or something. But this year, nada. Dipper and I didn’t have any of the same classes since he was a bookworm over-achiever in all AP and Honors classes. I was in a sour mood by the time we got on the bus, and although I gladly held hands with him beneath our backpacks, I hardly said a word to him.

He must have picked up on my sourpuss-ery because he gave me a wide berth once we got home. Normally we were eager to sneak kisses and pets whenever our parents were out of the room, but today he left me alone and I sat in the living room doing homework, while he sat at his computer upstairs doing dorky Dipper stuff of some kind. With every minute that passed without an acknowledgement from him that the day was special in any way, the worse my mood got. Around 6, mom and dad announced that they were off to their romantic dinner and reminded us of all the rules about being home alone that we already knew well, and were on their way. Shortly after they left, Dipper slinked down the stairs, with a posture not unlike a dog with its tail between its legs. He went into the kitchen and I buried my nose deeper in my history textbook, unable to make out a word in front of me. I listened to him rummaging around in the kitchen, feeling deeply irritated just by his presence and the fact that he had the nerve to have some business in the kitchen.

I was simmering so deep in my own annoyance that I didn’t notice him coming into the living room until an unexpected smell caught my attention. It was sort of grassy and vegetal, and really familiar. I looked up from my book to see Dipper standing bashfully beside me, with a lit candle in his hand. It was a citronella candle, the kind in a little aluminum pail. Mom normally kept those seasonal things in the back of the cupboard during the cooler months. I blinked at him, wondering why in the world he’d lit a citronella candle indoors in February, “It was the only candle I could find,” he admitted, answering my unspoken question, “It’s supposed to be, like, um…” he reached over and flipped off the lamp beside me, so the room was washed only in the flickering glow of the candle, “Mood lighting,” he said, as if that was a term in some foreign language and he wasn’t sure he was pronouncing it correctly.

“Dipper?” I said, my annoyance giving way to confusion.

“Oh jeez,” he put the citronella candle down on the coffee table and sat down next to me on the couch, “I am so bad at this. I’m trying to be, like, romantic?”

I gave a small laugh, despite myself and he put his face in his hands, “Candles are nice,” I reassured him.

“Thanks, Mabes, but you don’t have to spare my feelings,” he said, “I know I suck at this. This kind of,” he pointed to the candle, “Romance stuff? Valentine’s Day? You know it’s not my forte,”

“I know,” I conceded, “That’s okay,”

“No, but I love you,” he said, his tone distressed, “And you love this stuff. You deserve to be swept off your feet and stuff,”

“Let’s walk before we run, shall we, Dipdot?” I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked at me and I had to admit the firelight was breathtaking in his eyes, “The candle is a good start.”

He looked unsure, “But Mabel–”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Dip,” I said before he could protest.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mabel,” Dipper replied, a small smile just beginning to curl his lips. And all at once, it struck me how stupid I was being. What could possibly be more romantic than just being with him? The candlelight was a nice touch, sure, but what was really beautiful was being close to him. The feel of his shoulder under my hand, the familiar smell of him reminding me this was home, the way his eyes glowed with a vulnerable willingness to try. The unsure smile on his lips spread when I busted into a grin. I dropped my history book on the floor and threw my arms around his neck, knocking him back so he laid against the armrest of the couch, with me half on top of him, squeezing him close. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist, “I love you,” he said, his voice sincere and soft.

“Well that’s all I wanted for Valentine’s Day anyhow,” I assured him, realizing as I said it how silly it had been to worry about anything else, “I love you too,” I told him, my voice muffled against his collarbone. This might not be the storybook great love I’d thought I wanted, but it was something far better. It was so much more than that. It was mine, and it was real. Dipper loosened his grip on me and scooted down a little and guided his lips to mine. That right there, that’s it, I realized, losing myself in the sweetness of true love’s kiss, that’s all I could ever want.