#And I don't think that will be an easy process

[winonaparadise]

I definitely think transition can really put you in touch with a side of yourself you perhaps are longing for, and it's a lovely feeling. But to imply it "cures" depression implies anyone who transitioned and is depressed is doing something wrong. If anything it's a lateral move, and it's what you do along the path that determines your own success. I think selling it as a cure-all misrepresents the process, and misrepresents people who are living with transition under the full spectrum of human emotion. If anything, I would like people to stop equating transition as this universally rewarding experience, because then people would stop asking me if I thought it would make them happier. I don't know! Do you have lots of money to make it perfect? Do you have the mental fortitude to deal with an onslaught of harassment that will churn your stomach on basically a daily basis? Are you looking for self discovery you feel you need even at the expense of every sense of normalcy in your life or are you looking for a "cure"? You can find beautiful and wonderful feelings on this path, you can even feel that about yourself. But you are not looking down an easy road, and if knowing that still makes you want it, then maybe that's what you should do.

[saintjosie]

hi, i promise this question is in good faith, i genuinely just want your opinion!

as an asian tguy, i've noticed a phenomenon of white tgirls constantly using anime gifs to express their feelings or use to represent their reactions. and while i agree that anime is very cute, it stirs something in me when i scroll through so many blogs that ONLY use anime gifs to react. idk it would make me feel less weird about it if there was more variation i think but. maybe i’m overreacting?

i want to support my people and be anti-racist but i also don't want to end up with a transphobic belief in the process. i figured you'd be a good person to ask as a fellow asian on the "other side" of it all. sorry if this is tedious to read and answer

first, this post on orientalism is a good primer and says a lot of things way better than i ever could.

unfortunately there is no easy answer for this and the short answer is “it depends”.

the root of this issue lies in both objectification and also the difference between appreciation and appropriation. there is absolutely an issue with people in general objectifying asians and appropriating asian culture and this is not limited to just white people or white trans fems; this is a problem with western culture as a whole.

but it is very important to add that i do believe that your singling out of white trans fems is somewhat unfair. there is absolutely an issue of white queer and trans people misunderstanding intersectionality and failing to recognize their white privilege but the way that white trans fems interact with anime is no different than the way that all of western culture treats things like anime and k-pop.

so regarding the “it depends”, what matters is ultimately that each and every person is responsible for dismantling their own privileges and biases. there is no sweeping generalization that i or anyone else can make that says “this is bad” when ultimately it comes down to how each person interacts with the media they consume. are there people who appropriate and interact with anime inappropriately? yes absolutely. but there are others who don’t too.

and so even if this is an issue, we cannot address this issue to an entire community because we don’t know how each individual is thinking, and even if we did, (and this is very important) we cannot do a damn thing to change it other than to provide education.

push too hard, it goes nowhere. if someone isn’t ready to hear something or isn’t in the process of dismantling their own privileges and biases, it goes nowhere.

your discomfort is valid but there is nothing to do but continue to advocate and ask allies to do the same.

best of luck!

[sophrosynesworld]

With all my love, pt 4

Since I’ve gotten home, I’ve been unable to relax. Bakugou’s text messages have forced me in a trace since I sat down to read them on the train. I’ve read and reread each one, analyzing every word and punctuation detail.

Katsuki’s drunk voicemails are even harder to process; his slurred speech is filled with hiccups and desperate pleas for me to come back. These are messages he would never send when sober, making them all the more gut-wrenching.

I fall onto the hotel’s bed and curl up next to the Uravity plushie I keep there for comfort. Ochaco was never a fan of my relationship with Bakugou, but she was always the best at giving advice. If she were here now, she’d probably offer to float him up into space until he exploded.

I take a deep breath and hit play on the first voicemail he left. Katsuki's voice floods the room, and even in his vulnerable moments, there's a magnetism to him that I can't resist. Each drunken word reveals a side of him that he keeps tightly locked away when he's sober. It's these rare, unguarded moments that leave me crying, aching to heal his broken heart.

His voice cracks, and I can hear the pain and confusion in every syllable. I clutch the Uravity plushie tighter, tears welling up as I listen. The raw emotion, the unfiltered regret, makes the distance between us feel insurmountable.

Saturday, June 1st, 10:52pm

"Hey... it's me. Damn it, I know you hate me now, but I can’t do this without you. I know I don’t deserve you; you’re so smart and the only person who challenges me. I've been thinking 'bout you all night. I miss you so much it hurts. I miss your touch, the way you laugh... everything 'bout you. It's killin' me not havin' you here."

His voice slurs, thick with alcohol, and I can hear a few thumps and groans as he fumbles with the phone.

"I... I screwed up, I know that. But... please, just gimme another chance. I need you. I don't know what to do without you. Our bed feels empty. Please, just... come back to me. I... I love you."

A few similar voicemails are left on my phone for that night, each one repeating his drunken rambles, filled with regret and longing. Each message blurs into the next, a cascade of sorrow and hopelessness.

Monday, June 3rd, 2:39am

"Hey... it's me. Look, I know you’re probably just busy, right? You wouldn’t just leave like that. This is just a misunderstanding or something. Call me back when you get this, okay? We need to talk. I... I need to hear from you. I can’t believe you’re really gone. Just... just call me.”

There's a long pause, filled with the sound of his shaky breathing, before the voicemail clicks off.

The silence that follows feels like a weight pressing down on my chest. I close my eyes, trying to steady my own breath, then tap on the next voicemail he left, only an hour later that evening.

Monday, June 3rd, 4:32am

"Hey, it's me again. Why aren't you answering? I... I keep checking my phone, waiting for your name to pop up. This can't be real. You can't just be gone. Please, I need to hear your voice. We can work this out, can't we? I know I screw up, but we always find a way, right?"

The sound of him stumbling, maybe knocking something over, echoes through the phone. His frustration is clear, and it cuts deep.

"I miss you so much. This stupid house doesn’t even smell like you anymore. You always knew how to make everything better. Please, just call me. We need to talk. I can't do this without you. I love you."

Wednesday, June 5th, 3:47am

"Hey! What the hell is wrong with you? You think you can just walk away from everything we had? I’m pissed! I miss you, damn it! I can’t stand this! How could you just leave me like that? You think this is easy for me? It’s not! Get your ass back here and fix this!"

He takes a harsh, shaky breath, the anger clear in his voice. Kats moves the phone away from his face, clearly yelling at some random person before shoving the phone next to his ear again.

"You think you can just walk away like it’s nothing? Well, it’s not nothing to me! I can’t do this without you. Every day feels like hell. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. Everywhere I go, I see you, I hear you. It’s like a ghost haunting me, reminding me of everything we had and everything I lost. Do you even care what this is doing to me?"

His voice cracks, the raw emotion breaking through his anger.

"You were my everything. We had plans, dreams... You can’t just throw all that away. I know I screwed up, but I can fix this. Please, I need you. I need you to come back and tell me it’s going to be okay. I can’t do this alone. So get your ass back here, now! Before it's too late... before we lose everything we’ve built together."

He pauses, and the silence is filled with his labored breathing, each inhale shaky and uneven.

"Please," he whispers, the anger gone, replaced by a mixture of loss and desperation. "Please, just come back."

The voicemail ends abruptly with a sharp click. I press the next one. As soon as I hear his voice, I sit up straight, knocking a pillow off my bed in the rush. This one was different. It’s the day before Eijiro called me, begging me to have lunch with him and refusing to take no for an answer.

Monday, June 8th, 10pm

"Hey... it’s me. I... I don’t even know why I’m calling. You’re not gonna pick up, are you? I just... I miss you. I miss everything about you. It’s so damn hard without you here. I don’t know what to do anymore. Everything feels empty."

Katsuki pauses for a moment, and a muffled cry is given before he brings the phone back up to his face, his breathing hard.

"I... I just wanted to say that I get it. I understand why you left. It doesn’t make it hurt any less, but... I get it. No one has ever put up with me for as long as you have. I’ve never had someone defend me like you did. Take care of yourself, alright? I love you, always."

Fear spreads across my body, engulfing me into a paralyzing state. My mind races, trying to make sense of it all. Katsuki Bakugou has never, and I mean never, accepted defeat. Bakugou is a fighter; he’s an asshole. Katsuki Bakugou once made me play 12 rounds of Mario Cart because I kept beating him. So why did his voice sound so defeated? What did Eijiro see that I haven’t been able to?

I stand up, pacing back and forth, my thoughts spiraling. Should I call him? Would he even want to speak with me? Isn’t this what I wanted? I wished for his pain, but seeing it unfold feels like a gunshot rather than enjoyment.

My heart pounds as I replay his last voicemail, each word contrasting the Katsuki I thought I knew. His usual fiery spirit, the bravado, the unyielding strength—it was all stripped away, leaving behind a raw, aching vulnerability that I didn’t know he possessed. The thought of him being so broken sends a dagger through my heart.

I stop pacing and sit on the edge of my bed, my hands trembling. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. I wanted him to understand my pain, to feel a fraction of what I felt when he pushed me away, but this... this is too much. The idea of him being in such a dark place, feeling so lost and defeated, twists my stomach in knots.

What if he doesn’t answer? What if he does and I don’t know what to say? I reach for my phone, my fingers hovering over his contact. The weight of the decision feels crushing. I wanted him to hurt, but not like this. Not to the point where I’m afraid for him.

Taking a deep breath, I press the call button, my heart pounding in my chest as I wait for the call to connect. The ringing seems to go on forever, each second dragging out the torment.

"Hello?" A woman's voice, light and giggling, cuts through the receiver. In the background, there's a commotion—a struggle, I can only assume is my asshole ex-boyfriend trying to wrestle his phone back from her.

"Is Bakugou there?" I question, trying to keep my voice steady despite the irritation bubbling up inside me. I can hear a party going on in the background.

"He's a bit busy right now," she replies, a teasing hint to her tone. "I'll have him call you back once he's free."

Before I can say anything more, there's a final click and the call abruptly ends.

[bunhype]

Hi. I think some of you don't know how to block from your sideblogs on mobile. I've taken a screenshot using a friend's rp blog to show you how you do it.

Open a message window to the person you want to block from your sideblog. Aka, open up the dm window between your sideblog and their blog.

At the top right corner, there will be a little ... menu. Click it, and then click the popup option to block their blog.

I popped open the message window, picked a name randomly, and went thru the process in like... 20 seconds tops. Its annoying but easy.

Note: does not work on blogs that dont allow dms or blogs with multiple members.

[zehiiro]

Part 2: My Thoughts on The Book Of Carol Episode 1 - Panel

-Spoiler-free edition-

This continues Part 1 of my thoughts [link here], specifically focusing on the panel.

There seems to be some confusion that's also upsetting some people, so I feel like, as someone who was there, it's my responsibility to clarify things and share some new things. I'll also be including my transcript from different relevant portions of the panel that don't spoil the episode itself, and just to make it clear, this transcript is word for word with what was said and has not been paraphrased by me; the only portions I removed were the pauses and instances where a speaker stammered.

Incorporating Carol into the Story

Zabel has been in conversation with Melissa (about Carol) for as long as he's been in conversation with Norman (about Daryl), which is from before writing & filming even started for season 1, discussing what they each had to say about their characters in detail. Once they began to approching season 2, Zabel then began to have more detailed conversation with Melissa about what she wanted for Carol going into the future, which we could see had already started to be from episode 1 in a huge way, with almost every single Carol scene having intention and deep meaning behind it.

D. Ross: What was it like starting to think about how to incorporate Carol into the story? Did you talk about season 2? How was that discussion? S.M. Gimple: I mean, Zabel drove those discussions. D. Zabel: I think it came out in our early conversations to make sure that the first episode which you just saw really planted Carol back into the world. You know, that was a very conscious choice because we spent 6 episodes of the show focused exclusively on Daryl, and knowing that we're bringing Melissa into this show, we wanted to make sure that we started the story off in a very strong way. To sort of re-establish the character after a couple of years, we hadn't seen her. And also to make her drive to find Daryl very compelling, motivated, and active. That came out of our early, like our first conversations about how to do it.

Collaboration between Zabel, Norman, and Melissa

I said this before, but I wanna say it again that Melissa's voice was really obvious to me in the way episode 1 was done, and Norman has spoken many times about how he's worked really hard on Daryl's story in the spin-off. The below exerpt also shows that the collaboration was actually really there between Zabel, Norman, and Melissa, and that it had great influence on the direction of the show. Even Gimpel gives the credit to Zabel, Norman, and Melissa and greatly compliments their collaboration.

D. Ross: What were your discussions? Because obviously, Melissa and Scott have worked for a long time together, and obviously, Melissa and Norman forever, but this is, you know, your first time connecting David and Melissa, so what were those conversations like in terms of finding the character and getting the input and sharing new ideas? D. Zabel: Well, yeah I'm the new guy, and so as a result, I had to be hazed. It was great because I had a whole year with Norman working on the show, and part of that was my own learning process about the characters, the character specifically of Daryl, about all the show and the aesthetic of The Walking Dead universe, and so during that time I was also having conversations with Melissa and getting ready, so there was really a lot of leadup to when we brought the character back into the show and a lot of conversations that we had after those initial ones were really Melissa and me talking about how to advance the character of Carol and how to not let the character stay stagnant, same as the kind of conversations that Norman and I had in the beginning, how to continue to move the character forward and move the story forward and expand on the universe in general, and not let the characters and the world stagnate and say in the same place, 'cause it's easy to sort of keep going through the same things over and over again. So a lot of it was talking to Melissa and understanding how she saw the character, thought the character was and the things that she felt were interesting to play moving into the future. S.M. Gimple: And that is a huge thing with both Norman and Melissa. You know they have that executive producer credit, but that's the real deal, they provided a lot towards the narrative of their characters, towards the trajectory of their characters. This is them expressing themselves. And to watch this collaboration has been amazing.

Melissa's thoughts on coming back to the show and bringing her ideas

Throughout the entire panel, Melissa seemed incredibly happy. She constantly made jokes that made the whole room and panel laugh, and she spoke really proudly of the work she had done. She also seemed very comfortable collaborating with Zabel, Greg, and Norman and had nothing but beautiful things to say about them, and Manish (Ash).

I've attached a video below [link here] of the following transcript, which I recorded from my perspective. It's at a wider view and slightly longer than the ones previously uploaded by others, and it captures a lovely and respectful exchange between Zabel and Melissa.

D. Ross: What's it like from your perspective, Melissa? I mean you have so much ownership of this character for so long, so tell me about, like, in terms of coming to this new show and bring your ideas. Melissa MB: Oh, well, Scott, David, and I talked about some of the things that were really important to me, as far as what I thought Carol might want to dive into. Things you know… 12 years of The Walking Dead, there was a lot unsaid. I made a rhyme. But anyway, we picked some of the core issues, and we kind of built on that. D. Zabel: I think one of the things I'll add is building on that, things that were maybe not fully developed or resolved in the original series for the character and also and also making sure that Carol was coming because she loves and misses her friend and is worried about him, but also has a narrative of her own, that's about the things that she's dealing with herself. So, that was really important for us was that Carol needed to have a dual narrative. It wasn't all about just finding Daryl, although that's crucial,... Melissa MB: obviously. D. Zabel: but it was how is that somehow working through her own experience and what things that are still plaguing her.

Carol and Daryl as the core of every storyline in season 2

It's clear that they have made Carol and Daryl's story the centre of the whole season and that they will be heavily involved in all of the major storylines and resolutions. Using episode 1 as an example, it was already clear that even though Ash has a really interesting backstory, which they delved into in a very thoughtful and intentional way, it was still there to serve Carol's story and ultimately, Caryls story in later episodes. The same, I believe, can be said about the different storylines in France and how they're all ultimately going to come together to serve Carol and Daryl's story and development.

D. Zabel: Every episode is big, but the way that it resolves ultimately all these different stories and these different characters by the time you get to the end, I think that's the single thing I'd say was the greatest accomplishment of Season 2 is sort of the accumulation of story and character, how all the stories are resolved specifically through Daryl and Carol, of course.

Slight spoiler warning for what's below the line. This spoiler has already been shared and talked about for several days at this point.

Reunion episode.

Whether or not the reunion will be in episode 2 is up to personal interpretation. Below is the link* to another video I took from my perspective, where you can see everyone's expressions. I encourage everyone to come to their own conclusions on whether or not they think it's episode 2.

I personally lean towards it being true, firstly because Norman and Melissa's tone/behaviour seem genuine, while Zabel and Gimple seem to be more nervous and overcompensating with their counter comments (However, Norman and Melissa are so talented as actors that they could easily fool us 😅). Secondly, why tease/mislead the audience in that way? There's no logical reason, and they know that, ultimately, it would just leave us (the people who believe them) a little disappointed after building our excitement and expectations up.

This was everyone's reaction to Gimple saying, "You know what? Let's say it doesn't happen in episode 2. Let's just get into an argument now."

*Note: Tumblr only allows me to upload one video directly to the post, so unfortunately, the second video had to be a link. I know that the link may not work in some countries like Canada, so if that's you and you'd like to see the video, let me know, and I'll send it to you directly.

My final thoughts.

I know that there are a lot of concerns about:

How Carol and Daryl's joint story will fit into the season 2 narrative and whether or not their story will be handled with care

How will Carol be incorporated into the story, and will her character be treated justly (not overlooked/overshadowed)

Is Melissa being treated/billed fairly, and is she happy with the product that is Daryl Dixon: The Book of Carol

Based on all the examples above and my thoughts in the part 1 post, I'm confident that the writers, showrunner, and, of course, the leading cast, Norman and Melissa, are handling both Carol and Daryl's joint story and their individual stories really well and with a lot of care.

Regarding Melissa's treatment and happiness, none of us knows what's happening behind the scenes, but from what I could see during the panel, everyone on that stage was treating each other as equals; no one was undermining anyone, and they were all clearly there to support each other. As always, there was also that special connection between Norman and Melissa, who were having really sweet moments just between them, smiling and whispering to each other and making each other laugh, which really warmed my heart. In terms of the audience's reaction, we all clapped, cheered, and reacted the loudest for Melissa and Norman, but especially Melissa. Everyone was so excited to see her, and I even noticed some people wanting to give her a standing ovation and were halfway standing when she came on stage but were motioned to sit back down by someone who looked like event staff or security.

And lastly, regarding the billing order, I feel that it's wonderful how some of Melissa's fans are really speaking up and standing up for her on how she should be equally billed with Norman, just like Danai/Andrew and Lauren/Jeffrey, which I wholeheartedly agree with; however, I think (and bare with me here) that we should be patient, especially for the moment. The order of billing within the credits does seem strange to me as well; however, the season is still three and a half months away (110 days) from its actual release, and these are things that could have been done in error and can still be amended for the official release. If it's not, then it's also important to acknowledge that whatever the agreement is that was made between AMC and Melissa/her agents, Melissa is a very intelligent and capable of making rational choices that are in her best interest, and as long as she's happy with it, then we should be respectful of those choices because, ultimately, we are not part of that contract and therefore can't really know why certain choices were made unless we're told by one of the parties who hold the contract.

I'm not saying we shouldn't speak up if we believe she or anyone else is being treated/compensated unfairly; however, we should still keep celebrating with her for her return as Carol to the series, her incredible performance in season 2, and all the hard work she has put in, alongside the rest of the cast and crew, to give us this new season.

~~~~~

There will probably be more parts to this as more information comes out, but for now, a huge thank you to those who read this ♡♡♡ I'd love to know your opinions if you agree or disagree with anything I've said. One of my favourite things about this community is how passionate everyone is, which allows us to have some really deep and meaningful conversations about the show and characters we love.

If anyone has any questions about the episode or panel that I haven't addressed yet or would like further information on anything I have shared, please feel free to leave me an ask, anonymous or not, and I'd be more than happy to answer and discuss it. However, I will refrain from giving away any spoilers that haven't already been released.

[genericpuff]

Oi, just a heads up for future asks, because I get questions like this several times a week, I'm not gonna be responding to any more asks along the lines of "will [insert character here] be in Rekindled" or "how will you handle [xyz]".

I know, I know, that sounds really personal! But I promise it's not with any ill intent, I can totally understand why many of you are asking them because y'all just want that reassurance in knowing I'm not gonna do whatever Rachel did - and the best way to hear it is often from the horse's mouth - but when it comes right down to it these are often questions I've either already answered or simply CAN'T answer because that would involve me outright spoiling stuff. Like, most of the time I really can't tell you anything beyond "wait and see", and that's not me trying to be a dick holding out on y'all, I just don't want to spoil stuff! What DOES make me feel like a dick is answering with vague half-answers that don't satisfy your questions LOL But telling you outright what my plans are doesn't just run the risk of ruining the experience for readers, it can also ruin it for me because if I told you everything that was gonna happen, then I wouldn't have anything to surprise you with and it would suck all the fun out of it LOL

As a general rule of thumb, if you're asking about something in LO that I've adamantly criticized (especially stuff that's become popular opinion like the problems with the age gap, the SA plotline, the inclusion of Eris, the Eros x Psyche plot, etc.) then the odds are like 99% that I'm either not doing it or changing it LOL

I know it's a big BIG ask to "trust the process" after so much of that trust was burned with LO, but believe me when I say, I was one of y'all who got burned and I don't intend on making the same mistakes Rachel did, for my sake and yours. I'd like to think I've been doing a pretty okay job up until this point, but also much of that job is fairly easy to do when the bar is on the floor LMAO but I've got so much stuff planned that I'm super hyped for and while it may not feasibly satisfy every single person who's reading along - especially when it comes to the things I choose to remove or drastically change - I do hope at the very least it'll be a story worth following along with until the end. It's been an amazing year working on this project and sharing it with you all, so please just hang in there, whatever burning questions you have about the plot and its characters will be answered in due time as we get to them together <3 (and don't worry if I don't respond to any of your "what will you do with xyz" asks, it's not personal I promise, it's just that I've either already answered them or can't answer them fully without spoiling LOL)

[berryz-writes]

Faking it

(part 1)

Mattheo x reader

Summary: You and Mattheo pretend to date because your parents won't stop pestering you and girls won't stop falling over themselves to get to Mattheo

note: ignore the title its not very.........smart

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" Mattheo asked putting his quill down and kicking his legs up onto the desk. History of Magic was the perfect time to sit and chat with your friends and catch up on missed gossip.

I shrugged "It's the ball tomorrow so probably getting lectured by my dear mother" A tradition since I was 12. To nag ask me to bring a date with me to the ball. This year was especially important because I hadn't brought anyone with me last year and my mother was not impressed.

Mattheo rolled his eyes "Please. You've got it easy"

I raised an eyebrow. What was he complaining about? "And what's troubling you so much?"

He sighed dramatically "All I here is everywhere I go is do you have a date for the ball? A guy can't even eat breakfast in peace"

I scoffed. He was always so unnecessarily dramatic.

"Well. Do you?" It's not like I was wanting it to be me, I was just genuinely interested. Curious. Not at all wondering who the girl was and what Matheo's standards and type was.

"Of course I don't. All the girls that come up to me are sluts who want me to take them to my dorm after"

I shrug "At least they have the confidence to ask. You'll be left with no one soon enough"

Mattheo rolled his eyes as if what I was saying was utterly ridiculous "There's always someone. And anyways I could always go with you"

I paused. The voices in the classroom had become a background noise in my mind. I looked at Mattheo, trying to see if he was making a joke out of all this. I could usually tell because of how his lips would always pull into a small smirk but this time he was utterly serious.

"Us two?" I asked. I don't know why I said that. Maybe it was to make sure I had heard him right.

"Yeah. It would get those girls off my back and your parents will probably be happy you've found a good looking guy like me"

I rolled my eyes, trying to act like this wasn't something I was excited about or wanted to do "Someone thinks highly of themselves"

Matheo's eyes had glazed over as if he was in deep thought about something. His hand was tapping his knee in a constant rhythm and his eyebrows were scrunched in concentration. It was quiet cute to watch, honestly.

"Y'know. My idea wasn't so bad."

I raise an eyebrow "Your ideas are always bad. Which one are you talking about this time?"

He moved closer to me so I could hear his quiet voice "Me and you. We could go to the ball together. Pretend to date for a while and then act like it didn't work out between us."

My heart beat's pace increased. Why was it increasing? I'd love to tell you but I didn't know either. Maybe it was the fact that I wouldn't mind getting closer to Mattheo. Or maybe the fact that I knew if I accepted his idea I would be heartbroken by the end of it.

"But once we break up I'm just going to have to find another guy" I tried explaining. I did want to go along with his idea but I didn't want to seem too desperate. Also I don't think my parents saw Mattheo as a great influence.

He rolled his eyes acting as if I was the dumb one "Just pretend your going through an emotional...breakdown or something. And by then you'll be able to find someone you like.  It's not as if anyone would reject you" He said all this with a serious tone, as if he wasn't telling me to keep a lie going to my family but also probably break my heart in the process. I skipped over the last bit of what he said because if I thought of it for too long I would become obsessed with it and that probably wasn't a good idea.

"I'll think about it" I finally decided. I already knew what my answer was but I didn't need his ego to inflate even more...also because I had pride in myself and wasn't about to cave to on of his ideas so quickly.

*a few hours later*

"Why do you ask to play if you know your going to lose?" I asked Theo feeling slightly bad for him at this point. It was our fifth game of cards and he had lost all of them. He rolled his eyes "I'm helping pass time so you should be thanking me" It was just after our last lesson of the day and we were all in the common room or out in the gardens waiting for supper. Luckily exams weren't anywhere close so I could use this time however I wanted.

I smiled slightly at Theo's disgruntled expression "Right"

Handing out the cards again I picked up my pile and spread them out looking for a diamond. I picked out two debating on which one, choosing the nine of diamonds when I heard a slight noise behind me.

"I wouldn't go for that. I've seen Theo's cards and he's going to get you back if you put that nine down" It was Mattheo. He had taken a seat next to me on a stool having seemingly finished the shouting match he was having with Draco a few minutes ago.

I glared at him in annoyance "You've just told Theo what card I have!" Was he being deliberately annoying or did he not know how card games worked?

A slight smirk on his expression told me he was being irritating on purpose "Don't be mad at me darling. It was a mistake" He had gotten closer to me now his proximity too much for me. Luckily Theo caused a commotion by throwing his cards onto the table, me and Mattheo both turning to look at him.

"I'm not playing anymore. I've had enough of losing y/n" He said dramatically, getting up and sticking up his middle finger at Mattheo before leaving. What was wrong with everyone today?

Mattheo let out a sigh "Finally. Have you decided then?" His voice had changed to being serious within seconds, his teasing smile gone.

I knew what he was talking about but all the same I furrowed my brows and acted confused "decided what?" It was his turn to frown as he moved even closer to me "The fake dating thing? Your memory needs fixing sweetheart" He said quietly waiting for my response.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn't look him in the eyes when he said names like that. Would saying yes lead to me having a broken heart and in a lot of trouble if my parents found out? Yes. But was I doing it anyways? Yes.

"My memory doesn't need fixing" I rolled my eyes but continued on "And fine I'll do it"

Mattheo grinned "Fucking finally" He got up and pressed a kiss to my cheek "I'll see you later. If anyone asks tell them your taken" He walked away out of the common room and to who knows where. I lightly touched where he had kissed my cheek. Was this going to be normal now? Him just kissing me any time of day? Not that I minded.

I looked around the common room to see a few girls in my year already walking over to me, raising their eyebrows. They were probably going to ask what the kiss was about and I'd have to tell them I was dating..... realisation hit me.

Mattheo hadn't kissed me because he wanted to but so the others could see and would come and ask me. He was smart. I would give him that but it did hurt my feelings slightly.

After a lot of explaining how me and Mattheo got together and lying for three hours straight I slipped into my bed earlier than usual, staring at my dress for the next night. It was a dark green almost the exact shade of our Slytherin robes except in silk. I turned to my other side wishing I hadn't eaten so much dessert because it still didn't seem digested to me. I could hear hooting in the distance, guessing it was probably other students owls, coming back or going out to send letters.

I had sent a letter to my parents just after dinner, telling them not to worry and how I had a date for the ball this year. I had re written the letter so many times, worried the expression when they read my words would make it obvious I was lying. After the fire had eaten up 4 parchments I finally sent the letter off hoping for the best. Pansy had ended up reading over my shoulder before I could stop her and had found out I was "dating" Mattheo. At first she was upset I hadn't told her. Her arms had been crossed and a permanent frown had been etched onto her face.

I couldn't lie to her so I eventually told her the truth, her eyes widening as I explained everything.

"I'm sure it'll be fine" She had said eventually. I hoped she was right.

The next day rushed by extremely quickly. It felt like I had just had breakfast but here I was waiting for my mother to show up. She had said she wanted to "meet me before she left for something extremely important in a different country"

She just meant she was going on holiday without me but I didn't mind. The last time I had gone all she did was talk about my grades and the clothes I was wearing or something else that annoyed me. I turned to Pansy who was starting to look at her nails in boredom.

"You should go. Start getting ready" I said to her. She was waiting with me, just inside the school gates. Pansy shrugged "I don't mind. You need support when your dear mother comes because Salazar knows you can't lie"

I crossed my arms even though I knew she was kind of right "I can. Listen I'll be fine, trust me. Go get ready"

Pansy hummed in thought "It does take me a while to do my eyeliner.....fine. See you, don't crumble under pressure" She blew me a kiss and walked back in leaving me to crack my knuckles repeatedly even though they were already cracked.

I couldn't even wait in peace because as soon as Pansy left I heard gravel crunch behind me and when I turned to look who it was, Mattheo's grin made me want to stop time. God he was gorgeous and he didn't even try.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he stood next to me, his body heat reaching me at his close proximity. He raised an eyebrow a knowing smile on his lips "You can't lie to me forget lying to your own mother"

I huffed in annoyance. Why did everyone underestimate me? I mean they were right but still. And how could I lie to Mattheo when his chocolate eyes would make me melt in mere seconds? And how did he know what I was waiting for? Pansy must have told him on her way in.

Without warning my mother apparated in front of me before I could confirm what I was thinking. She was wearing smart wizarding robes. She had probably just come from work. Like usual she didn't hug me, just giving me a once over and then turning to Mattheo instead.

"So your dating my daughter?" She got straight to the point, tossing her blonde waves behind her, eyes narrowed. Mattheo nodded his expression serious

"Yes maam"

Her eyebrows raised slightly but she carried on quizzing him about his grades, plans and even what he thought about marriage. I wanted to die right about now. Luckily she only turned to me at the very end of her little interview "I expect you to have good grades by the end of the year. Your father sends his love" And with that she apparated away just as quickly as she had arrived.

I let out a sigh "Thanks. She's a handful sometimes" I told him, feeling bad that he had to take the brunt of her questioning. He shrugged wrapping an arm around my waist "It's fine, nothing I can't handle"

"You don't have to pretend like we're dating when no one's looking you know" I said to him quietly. It was getting dark now and no one would be out in the gardens anyways. Mattheo ignored me, carrying on walking toward the castle, his hand shifting to pull me closer

"Someone could be looking though the window, sweetheart. You can't be too careful" He whispered in my ear, his voice making my insides heat and my legs feel like jelly. I blinked at him as he straightened up acting as if he hadn't just made butterflies erupt in my stomach from a few simples words.

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

I couldn't survive one night next to him without my brain cells melting how would I survive a whole fucking week?

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Carmy's anxiety

My favorite thing to obsess over and that I don't write about enough is the show's depiction of anxiety and Carmy's struggles with it as his anxiety creeps into his ability to make decisions.

With anxiety, there's a lingering doom that you'll make the wrong choice, and it's paralyzing. Also, with decision-making, there's the fear that the decision could hurt someone. Along with the discomfort that everything will fall on you. You'd rather someone else make the decisions because if the other shoe drops well, it's not your fault.

We see this anxiety and the inability to make decisions specifically with claire.

In episodes 1 and 2, Carmy starts making progress in managing his anxiety. He's beginning to understand how his brain tends to focus on feelings of dread rather than joy. Despite his distress, he agrees to help Sydney get the star. He's consistently going to al-anon, and we also learn that Carmy's family inadvertently affected his ability to experience joy, which has contributed to his ongoing struggle with anxiety. Carmy also shares some mindfulness techniques for managing it, such as staying present, focused breathing, and reminding himself that everything is okay. But, this mindfulness is interrupted when Claire calls him, and his anxiousness is through the phone as he struggles to make decisions about whether to tell Claire that he can't go out and instead needs to be with Sydney.

Since getting involved with Claire he has been avoiding making decisions, delaying them, and putting everything on Sydney. He even let Claire make the choice for the chaos menu. It's easier for him to have Richie, Mikey, and Fak tell him how to feel about Claire rather than coming to his own conclusion. Because what if he doesn't make the right decision? What if he hurts her? What ifs... what ifs - dread.

I don't believe it's Claire's fault or that she has any nefarious intentions. I think one part of her role is to show what it's like to function in a stressful job without suffering from anxiety, while Carmy is dysfunctional. She seems out of place because the audience is following characters who are barely holding on while trying to live out their passion and purpose while being kind to each other, all while processing their trauma.

For claire, it seems too easy and that she doesn't need to wait for the other shoe, and it's weird to witness.

Although not evil, there is something about Claire triggers Carmy's alarms/anxiety to go off, and it could be the past. It could be Mikey. I just wonder if season 3 will we get more understanding of Claire's role in Carmys story, and will Carmy finally make a decision?

[firelxdykatara]

Dragon Age 4 looks amazing, that gameplay trailer had me on the edge of my seat and I cannot fucking wait for the game to drop. Somewhat less enthused for the inevitable wave of fandom discourse that's gonna rear it's ugly head, especially given how BG3 went over, but whatever. (Also I hate that the name changed to 'The Veilguard', not just because 'Dreadwolf' was cool as fuck but the 'the' throws things off. DAV looks better as an acronym than DATV. But whatever whatever no one consulted ME on this, it's fine, I'm fine.)

It did make me start thinking about Solas again and how little nuance the fandom approached him with last time, and it's just funny because like... it's very easy to understand where Solas is coming from. How he sees what he is planning as necessary, as fixing an ancient wrong that he has always meant to put right.

Will people die? Yes, and he thinks that's unfortunate--and, according to him in the trailer, he took the precautions he could to minimize that loss of life as much as possible. But he's not doing any of this with the specific aim to kill people or 'do genocide'--that was never his goal.

He is trying to fix something that he broke countless ages ago.

As he says, 'the veil is a wound'--a wound that he ripped open in the very fabric of space and time, and which he is trying now to heal.

And the thing is, he is ancient. He does not conceive of time the way mortals do, nor the importance and significance of mortal lives. I would like to think that romanced solas vs unromanced will have some affect on the way he goes about things, because falling in love was entirely unexpected and had to alter his views at least a little. Not enough to sway him from his course, but perhaps enough to make him feel the coming losses more keenly than he otherwise would. But even failing that, the connections he made during Inquisition are clearly not nothing to him--Varric is able to draw his attention, keep him distracted, might even have been on the verge of talking him down, we don't know. But as easily as he shattered Bianca, he could've killed Varric to end the threat he posed, and he didn't.

Mortal lives mean something to him now that they didn't when he set out at the beginning of Inquisition to tear down the veil with no regard for the mortal lives he would destroy in the process. And I'm wondering if those very safeguards are what release the big bads when Rook fucks up his ritual and that leads into the rest of the game. But anyway, my point is this: Solas does not look at life the way someone with a mortal lifespan does. He can't! Modern Thedas is the burned out shell of a building that he once set fire to without realizing what the consequences would be--and he is determined to rebuild it, because no matter what life has sprung up in the cracks of the burned out husk, his original fault was destroying the life that had been there to begin with.

People don't tend to overly worry about the insects and birds nests and whatever else they might have to bulldoze through when it comes to tearing down some condemned structure and rebuilding in its place, and that's how Solas views the modern world of Thedas and the lives within it. And I get disagreeing with him and wanting to stop him at any cost, but I don't get assigning maliciousness or bloodthirst to his motivations when there's no reason to believe he sees this as anything less than a tragic necessity.

Then again, I think Anders was right too so, y'know. But one bomb lobbed into the fandom commonroom at a time lmao.

[midnight-black2]

twin im back i js got the new idea of like some ppl purposely trying to fw kai and get him into trouble w richard and he got frustrated and whiny about it so like his mean gf yelled at him cause at the same time it WAS his fault. but then he ends up apologizing n you can take the smut from there like idk if that part makes sense

𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄

pairing : kai (voyagers) x reader

synopsis : basically what the req says

disclaimers : dom!reader, sub!kai, whiny!kai, light degradation, lowk mean!reader, handjob (m!recieving), a little short, kinda fast-paced

note : bro i'm so sorry this took so long to come out 😭 also ignore the title, i couldn't think of anything better

your first mistake was allowing kai in your room at all. firstly, it was against the rules (you could've surely gotten in trouble), and secondly, you knew he would just throw a non-stop fit.

your second mistake was continuing to argue with him, instead of kicking him out as soon as he opened his damned mouth. either way, you couldn't go back, and you were really, truly, sincerely pissed off at him. after all, it was entirely his fault as to why he was so mad in the first place. maybe if he ever just shut the hell up, this never would have happened to him.

unfortunately, you knew it was only a matter of time before he began to actually feel some sort of remorse for what he did. so, you weren't surprised when he knocked on your door and so much as practically begged for you to let him in. and?...you did.

"fucking hell kai, just go back to your room," you spat, as your arms folded across your chest.

"no," he began, as he closed to door behind me. "please, i'm sorry, i am. i just..." he trailed off.

"you just what, kai? don't waste my time," you said, with an exasperated sigh. he fidgeted a bit, as his gaze lowered to the ground.

"look, you were right. i did deserve it, and i was being a brat, and im sorry."

"glad you finally came to that realization," you started. "never thought i'd actually hear those words spill from your lips." there was a moment of silence, you had nothing else to say.

"i'll do anything to make it up to you. just, stop being mad."

"kai, you can't just tell me to not be mad. that's not how it works," you said, with furrowed brows as you plopped down into the chair beside your bed. you rubbed at your temples in an attempt to calm yourself.

"i said ill do anything, please." you sighed at that. you knew it would be difficult to resist him. at least you tried...

"get on the bed," you instructed. he was quick to listen, as he fumbled a bit in the process of getting over there. he rested his back against the headboard, awaiting any further instructions from you.

you took your time to get over there. you mentally cursed yourself for giving in so easily. you sat across his lap, straddling him.

"you really have to learn to take accountability," you mumbled, leaning in slightly. he mirrored your actions, leaning in as well.

"sorry," he mumbled against your lips, his breathing becoming a bit ragged. you pulled away. and he chased your lips. you chuckled softly at that.

"you didn't think it'd be that easy, did you?" you teased. he felt a whine bubble in his throat, but to spare his pride (for now, at least), he swallowed it back. your fingers trailed across and down his chest, and he felt himself shiver as you did so.

"please, [name]," he uttered.

"be patient, kai," you replied, calmly. you pinched his skin in certain areas, just to see his reactions. it was entertaining, really. after a bit more of teasing. your hand found its way to the waistband of his pants. you tugged slightly, prying them open, before letting go, watching as they snapped back against his waist. he sighed shakily at that, swallowing thickly. you eventually began to pull them down.

"lift your hips," you said, and he did just that. you pulled the pants all the way down, the cloth pooling at his feet. you notice his semi-hard on, and you have to resist the urge to laugh. it had only been a few hours of not being with you, and he was already so riled up?

"jesus kai, you're pathetic," you said, under your breath. he elicited a soft whine at that, to which you smirked. you palmed him gently over his boxers, and he let out a low groan.

"please," he begged, looking up into your eyes. you didn't say anything back, relishing in the noises he made with every touch you left. you finally began to pull down his boxers, and he met you halfway by lifting his hips. they were discarded with his pants. his semi was now a full hard on; red and throbbing pitifully hard. pre was leaking steadily, flowing down and onto his lower abdomen.

"what got you so hard, hm?" you asked, as your fingers danced across his tip. he whimpered softly.

"you." you smiled at that, before completely wrapping your hand around his cock. you spread the pre, using it as lube. your pace began slow, painfully slow. he let out low moans and groans, hips bucking into your hand ever so slightly.

"stay still," you said, keeping a hand on his waist to ground him. "is this really all it takes for you to shut your mouth?" he whined, throwing his head back.

"f-fuck [name]," kai cried, brows furrowing in pleasure.

"say you're sorry, kai," you ordered, and he nodded.

"m'sorry, so sorry. you were right," he babbled.

"good. you're lucky i'm even doing this for you. should've just left you to get off yourself." you twisted your hand, speeding up. you thumbed at his slit a bit, making him moan out.

"y-yeah. s-shit, oh my god thank you," he mumbled. it was so uncharacteristic of him, and it was thoroughly amusing. as your hand worked on his cock, you gripped his chin, and planted a harsh kiss on his lips. he whined in your mouth, before you pulled away.

"here's what you're going to do. you're going to apologize to everyone, including richard, understand?" you asked, locking eyes with him.

"y-yeah, okay," he breathed out, whining softly as your grip around his cock tightened slightly.

"oh, fuck. think m'gonna cum [name]," he warned, as he pulled his lower lip in between his teeth. you laughed cruelly.

"oh no, i didn't say you'd be coming, did i?"

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐤𝐲𝐚-𝐢𝐬-𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐥

𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐲? 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

[horsemeatluvr23]

zedaph!!! coloured pencil n fineliner :D ngl i rly struggled w getting a photo of this one .. i ended up scanning it but i think it washed out a lot of the pencil detail n ended up looking like i deep fried it lmao. u will all just have to trust me when i say this looks better irl

[tswwwit]

What are some ideas you have floating around that you don't have any plans on writing but like to entertain as a thought?

Many of them, in fact! Though they sort of vanish from my memory if I don't make a record of them, here's a few ones I jotted down when they came to mind.

For a domestic one: Bill thought he'd hate a lot of being married! Even though he loves Dipper, he thought he'd rebel against the chains of domesticity - and in some ways he still does - but one major benefit he's found is not having to be 'on' all the time.

No need to be perfectly performing all the time! No shoving around for social influence, no intimidation, or clever tricks. No commanding attention or taking up the room. Hell, there's surprisingly little upkeep! Bill can undo his tie and pick his nose and bitch about his day to someone who isn't bending over backwards to agree with him on everything. Someone who doesn't give him a weird look and sneer if he, god forbid, actually wants to sit down, read a book, drop the grin for an hour or two.

The concept in question is Bill's very first moment of great surprise. That when he isn't being the most charming, terrifying, and exciting guy in the universe, and just chilling out for like, five minutes, Dipper comes over and snuggles up to him on the couch, or wraps his arms around his shoulders and kisses the top of his head. And when Bill asks 'what was that for?', Dipper shrugs and goes 'eh, just felt like it'. It's both baffling and extremely compelling.

A short where Reincarnated Dip is Definitely Sure he's Not Gay!!! Especially not for this Hot Demon Man who is getting so close and touchy with him with his big smile and horrible wiles. Yep. Just keeping an eye on him to make sure he's not up to something Nefarious ™.

A discussion between Dipper and Bill where Dipper insists that Bill should understand this, or not do that, because, like. Y'know, Bill's a guy! There are guy things! Making Bill stare at Dipper like he's an idiot. He proceeds to informs Dipper how that's stupid for multiple reasons! First, that Bill's Not Human to begin with, his gender can't be put into a little box! And frankly, he never filled out the paperwork for his original one, come to think of it. Sure, he/him's fine, but c'mon, sapling, thinking of the whole shebang like a binary is dumb as hell. Now Dipper has to do some mental readjustment re: his own issues with masculinity/gender.

[why-the-heck-not]

ugh gonna have to start a new sourdough starter; this one has a bit of mold in the sides of the jar (not on the starter itself) and ik some ppl on the internet say u could just take some of it out to a new jar and keep going, I think the safest bet is to just start over. It's only a month old, and better to go back a month than to always wonder if I'm lowkey poisoning myself every time I make bread (and wouldn't feel comfortable abt sharing that bread/starter with other ppl bc one thing to poison urself, but others?? that's a big no).

[martilyongabo]

EO3 (partial) lineup - November-December 2022

Peak MAbo is collaborating with your best friend for a(n admittedly unfair) final project (for web development!!!! an elective!!!), saying you would post it, forgetting about it for a year, posting it on Artstation and forgetting about it again.

As always, AC drew the lineart, and I colored. Designs were more of a collaborative effort between the two of us!

Probably should have shared this when the HD collection came out... anyway it's here now!

Some design ramblings under the cut :0! There's a lot i wanna share especially given that we recently did a soft rewrite that departed from the guild system entirely ^^" and EO3's cast was actually one of the first that we had, surprisingly!

Micah is quite clearly alt gladiator 3, but in an entirely different profession. instead of going into the labyrinth, he works in what i imagine would be an analogue to the forge in Tharsis (aka helping people make things busted af). It probably works best for his character, since he was always a gizmo freak even in his first iteration! geomagnetic (or submagnetic, ugh) gizmo is AC's idea!

Micah's brother, Eva, is a very loose spin on zodiac 3, but with a wayyyy lighter colour palette. Admittedly, i did steal a little bit of the spiritmaster's coat from bravely default, but AC managed to spin it back to resembling the original coat that the class had. Eva works as an astronomer, hence the little telescope he always has on him.

Next up we have Eva's protégé, Miri (who was imported from AC's stories)! Theoretically, Miri would be a second zodiac, and, after watching some EO3 speedruns, would probably be really strong in the earlygame when working with Eva in an actual playthrough. AC's design heavily borrows from Patho II's Grace, hence the coat + dress combo.

Following Miri in this lineup would be Noa, her admittedly very lazy but clingy sibling. I think it's apparently here that we didn't have much time to filter what a believable design would be in an EO setting, given that Noa's clothes were translated directly from our designs of them in school attire. It's actually funny how for we diverged from their original portrait (buccaneer 3) to the point that she is literally unrecognizable. Truly a pipeline from good sea boy to j-horror twist character.

Last in the OC section would be Masaru, who recently found work for the Senatus. Admittedly he does have another example of "incongruent time period" clothing (the jacket), though it's a lot more reworkable than Noa. We also made his design a lot less poofy and rugged compared to the original, and I mixed the base and alt color palettes as well to make him less, well, glaringly red. Probably one of the funnier things is that his clothing palette made him blend in more with the likes of Kujura, but given that they work for the same place, it'll probably work out fine.

Now we go onto NPCs, and who better to start than with Flowdia! Admittedly, her art was one of the last ones that we did, hence why her design looks relatively plain (sorry lola). Probably one of the things I would like to add would be more ornate patterns, perhaps of butterflies to tie her closer to Gutrune!

Before we get to the Princess, we gotta get through her bodyguard first! >:0 I honestly don't like Kujura because I answered honestly in his first question, and he said that I was prideful, but AC likes him so he looks really good here. He isn't as rendered here as he is in his portrait, since he was also one of the last characters we made, and I didn't really get to notice that he doesn't have as much value contrast in his clothing as Masaru does. Probably something to think about next time I color him >:0

Next up we have Gutrune!! We decided to make her look more jellyfish-like, while still keeping it a bit uncanny and unsettling. We tried to give her a more traditionally Filipiniana look (mostly on the Maria Clara gown), but we haven't yet made a poncho design that mixes well with butterfly sleeves without looking cluttered. As such, she has a more nightdress-y look here. AC drew in a few tentacles, and I couldn't help but make them look squishy.

Last but not least is Olympia! We wanted to align her appearance more with her background, hence her altered design :0 Having rips of the artbook easily accesible online also helped us flesh out her hair in particular, since we didn't want to just transplant Gutrune's hairstyle onto her.

And that's all of them!!! I'm honestly hoping to draw more EO characters, though Seyfried's design scares me (honestly the reason why I couldn't make a Reversed Emperor comic).

Currently, I've made a lot of progress on the EO4 game, and I'm excited to draw up the three N-turned-PCs + Xiuan >:'0!!! I don't think I can ever get as cool as Morika tho. If you've come this far and aren't into EO, please check out their blog!! Their art is stunning and has come a really long way :")

[solradguy]

Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.

it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages

While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.

The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.

[llycaons]

the reason teeth decay and bones do not is because teeth are literally not bones and do not act like them