#And even physically react to things
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turtlebluem · 1 month ago
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Does anyone else's voice in their head sound like whatever youtuber or blorbo you just recently became obsessed with
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worstloki · 3 months ago
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Loki: *turns blue*
Odin and Frigga who had totally forgotten Loki has a Jotun appearance after a thousand years of seeing him as normal: wait what
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nenoname · 11 months ago
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stan twins the canon cptsd brothers i will always think about all your unaddressed issues that would make perfect plot fuel for your spinoff
and also the whole 'stan getting that poem by bill via a website which contrasts with bill getting one from the axolotl via a website' foreshadowing thing
like idk i would love something like su future but like more optimistic, aka not an accumulated breakdown that has to be mostly resolved off screen at the end :/// but something thats being kinda addressed throughout? (although would love to see one of them turn into a monster thats always fun lol)
stan having severe issues from his dad and those years of being homeless that we keep on getting more info on but never really getting confronted on (the drifter catalogue and tijuana incident...), him being completely alone for like twenty years when running the shack before soos comes along to the point that 1998 is noted as his low point, and him not really learning about bill+what he did to ford until ages after he killed him if he ever did get the full context
while i think amnesia and everyone seeing him as a hero actually helped with stan's 'i'm a worse version of my brother' thing its still a lingering issue too and we now got him being insecure over his own hands
ford being immediately thrown from 'being tortured by bill' to 'being stuck in the multiverse and being chased by bounty hunters constantly', him fully expecting himself to die when destroying bill, and him only now being safe for the first time in 30 years ....relatively safe, he's still in constant danger because of course he is
idk in the end the series wants them to be happy and they deserve it, its why i wasn't too worried about the book being like 'ooh bill is back!! and the book is haunting ford' thing cos i knew they'll be ok
#stan pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#stan twins#as for the 'still on your mind' thing to me its stan literally thinking about bill despite ford resolving to move past it#or alternatively me on my same coin theory obsession lmao#me yelling and screaming at ouroboros being used to link to the axolotl and bill and how ford didn't actually keep it#which brings up even more questions about it reappearing in the shack when stan takes over#of course even if him realising about reincarnation being a thing i think its still way less to deal with than his actual issues#something something a same soul doesnt mean much when he already proved himself a better person a million times over#idk my thoughts on reincarnation as a concept is like eh??? anyway#also completely unrelated but stan writing fanfic means he knows what soos meant when he was talking about stan fics#soos seems like a gen fic writer especially with the ones we got as those promos#the train one where he comes up with a giant backstory for the setting that has nothing to do with the fic bros is super funny#but meanwhile we have stan the canonical smut writer who had to be writing it that summer#would he be a self insert shipper? would he projecting on the duchess instead? is he both???#i have many questions#then again judging from hows theres a wedding scene that he got super emotional over he might just be a shipper????#this has nothing to do with my original post#...or does it cos the axolotl last appears reacting to stan freaking out about count li--#anyway if you think this post is longer than my usual its cos i physically made myself delete most tags and put it in the actual post
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citrusai · 7 months ago
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weekes saying all that mythal shit is up to interpretation is so weird to me because instead of worrying about leaving all of solas' past up to vague interpretation to (new) players because you're too chickenshit to stand by your established lore you could've focused on ghilan'nain and elgar'nan and who they were and what they became. elgar'nan literally let the other evanuris slay his wife and he watched on, and then he rotted in a prison made by what he referred to as his wife's "lapdog" and second in command general. and what of ghilan'nain? what is their relationship? why is it just the two of them in that prison when there were more evanuris trapped in there? why are they simultaneously this omnipotent threat capable of spawning blight at will but also two dimensional villains chasing their own tails half the game while solas just poses and speaks in his riddles in the fade. also a fragment of mythal is inside of morrigan, does no part of her gaf that her husband is literally terrorizing the world she loves? hello??
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viridian-house · 1 month ago
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remembering the time I asked my ex to please make some distance between himself & my bestie because of remarks he'd made to me about her body and his response was to get home, sit on the sofa and fold his hands, and look at me and say "since you're thinking I'm cheating on you, I can only assume this means you're projecting your own guilt onto me and you're the one cheating. I'd like to look through your phone now."
and guess who ended up being the one cheating 🥲
#he has Problems™️ with me labeling him as a cheater with my friends and family which. uhhhh. yes im aware that was an attempt to isolate me#and control the narrative so no one views him as a scumbag. but like. maybe dont do scumbag shit??#and in addition he says 'were we together when i developed feelings for her?' and forced me to say either Yes or No when. um!#its not a Yes/No type of question. we were working under the goal of making our relationship work. it's a nuanced situation where i did feel#emotionally stepped out on. and in any case he breaks up with me and immediately begins staying the night at her apt so literally what even#is the difference at that point?#we had a Grown Person relationship we have a mortgage we own our cars i supported him through hardships and we were planning on marriage#and its like. for him to have been in the headspace at ALL to develop feelings for another person is so hurtful. i can understand physical#i wouldn't excuse it but i can understand it. but falling in love? when i was a damned good partner to you?#sorry y'all i just. ummm. feel so trapped and afraid. i cannot believe the level of trauma his lack of empathy/compassion in the breakup has#put within me. it feels like no matter how much effort i put into trying to heal....nothing in my heart budges. the damage to my self esteem#is so profound that i honestly cant even picture the scope of it.#all the steps i took in therapy and things i did to lower my stress last year feel so useless against the fact that the man i thought id be#with for the rest of my life chose someone else over sticking it out with me. he chose the easier option. and i cannot fucking move on#anyway sorry for tag rambling i literally. feel so much guilt around venting to friends because of how he reacts to it#and because he snooped through my phone POST BREAKUP and i never know when he'll do it again#this is hell. how can this be the same man who said he wants to be friends with me?#personal
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the-gay-prometheus · 8 months ago
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Actually I'm ok with the fact that I didn't get to go to NYCC for Alex's panel because, having reviewed the footage, I think if I was there in person I would have simply actually passed away
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lunar-wandering · 6 months ago
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remembering that im gonna have to get my wisdom teeth taken out sometime next year and experiencing all 5 stages of panic
#like yknow you see so many videos of people completely out of it#or in a lot of pain after wisdom teeth removal#and i. do not wanna go through that#like. ...they will have to fully put me under dhkjsldkfjlsfs like im gonna have to be OUT#not even because of the anxiety stuff- straight up the dentist told me i'd have to go under#because idk my teeth are fucked or something#logically my parents and the dentist told me its not that painful and i wouldn't be that loopy after#and i should probably believe them buttttttttt i donttttttt#also im worried about like. getting so overstimulated from anxiety while they're trying to put me under#that i'll have a meltdown and they won't be able to do the procedure#cause ive recently realized. thats absolutely what happened the times i had to be like.#physically dragged/carried out of doctors/dentist offices as a kid cause i was ''tantruming''#and wouldn't let them do a procedure even though i knew it was necessary and wanted it to happen#it was only THIS YEAR that i realized that wasn't just panic. it was panic leading to a meltdown.#i haven't had that happen in a long time but also. i haven't been faced with a medical procedure in a long time.#(outside of needles of course but i've learned to handle needles just fine)#so idk how my body and brain will react when it comes to like. actually being there for the procedure#the fact there were multiple times i had to be physically held down by multiple people as a kid#while having a meltdown#so doctors could do things like draw blood or insert needles and stuff...#it like. obviously as previously stated now im okay with needles but like#those experiences being in my brain probably doesn't help
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kazhanko-art · 6 months ago
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I really enjoy tadc, and it’s very well made so far, but in the least judgmental way possible, it feels like some of the fans have never seen a cartoon before
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nonsensechemicals · 6 months ago
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crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It
#my version of them is centered around their blog version with the ‘personality’ of their steam review and like a bunch of HC#i developed them with the implication that they’re Real but i’m a bit iffy on it#because all my friends have theories about how they’re from the narrator’s consciousness which is sick as hell#and i’m unsure how to actually structure everything or if i should go the same route so i can get approval from them </3#my friends r the real reviewer fans even though they dont plague themselves over them every day and im so sad that i don’t know anythinggg#gggggggggggg#like im p sure they genuinely hate the stuff i make about cookie9 and im just. scrumbles myself. sorry im Trying :( i’m not smart#or good at writing or even media literate#whatever that term means#all i have is love in my heart for them i don’t know anything at all#ouhghghhg they hate It so much but i cant do anything else and it’s all i have#like all my cookie9 stuff works on the ‘what if their blog self Was Real’ but i’m not actually sure how to fit it all into my actual parabl#stuff because i still havent worked out how my parable itself works#and people probably don’t think i know enough and i don’t think they’ll approve if i try. so i Don’t#tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons#but i want to believe i could do better if i try? but that’s incredibly hopeful#i’ll be stuck here forever i think#<-guy who. whenever Anything wrong happens ever. just goes back to ‘oh yeah its because im dumb as fuckign rocks. due to the Incidents’#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try#even though i’m trying very very fucking hard and every time i get something wrong way more than anyone else i’ve ever known#and they hate me for it . MAN!!!!!!!!!#<-brain is lying 2 me i think nobody hates me or . whatever. it still feels like it though im just saying this because i dont want anyone t#think people genuinely hate me for being stupid. i mean. people DO. but not my friends ☝️#man i can’t even get into the buglivia crap either because she is so abstracted from her actual review#girl w identity issues and also the general normal Changing A Lot Through Time. i scrumble her. around#her Self during 2018 would in fact be in character for the review.i want to draw her during that time. she took everything so seriously </3#tbh my version of her does react well to TSP humor but at the time she felt like she wasn’t allowed 2 Do Her Thing and tried to seem#more professional and Normal and it seeped into EVERYTHING for a bit#cookie9 though just genuinely found the narrator annoying and patronizing. its just not his thing and thats fine#<-random nonsensechemical reviewer bits hidden inside the vents. SEND POST.
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stealchain · 10 months ago
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his little tail when it wags 😭😭
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unproduciblesmackdown · 10 months ago
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omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!
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#& [it might be 5am but i'll still see if i can draw some] trackpad homemade reacts. inhales & hands to head/face x9 then walking off#site giving pretty random Suggested assortment there where i was like oh right sure. prob not tumblr keywords captures lmaooo#(plus happened to have it open in firefox) but my god Not the scapegoated literal seers lmfao. whoooo. my god#also it was just really good anyways like right nice. damn#the (queerrr) seerrr the perceiverrr the truth tellerrr the ruinerrr the scapegoat be-errr the internalizerrr the neurodivergerrr#& now i Know there is 0% chance ppl weren't putting ''always a gay cousin or it's you (avuncular edition)'' in that thing#family tree design not even leaving space for the hypothetical kids of this relative we mostly pretend is nonexistent hmm#also that necessarily. it's giving all intents & purposes Disability abt a dozen ways & it's saying [accept that] vs [we'd better fix him]#you don't cite said [it's giving disability] as part of the We All Hate The Horrible Little Freak scapegoating justification & then be like#''actually we don't have to do that anymore b/c he's sooo normal :)'' or not if you're serious about [don't scapegoat your family] anyways#which like oh ok they Are serious so The Weirdo's scapegoating / casting out / lack of support Isn't justified#so he's still weird & you just gotta get over that b/c otherwise. bye. having a natural rat affinity is such a slay btw#& we've all been there like ''you NEVER want two scapegoats talking it's Over if they do'' + littlest kid is like um. they're the best#plankton voice Correct! inhale i'm so impressed like. getting to go ''finally someone Normal'' (serious abt letting someone Be Weird(tm))#which also always counts as like mm hard time suggesting someone's Not queer & also autistic for a start lmao. an award#adding in suggested layers like talking to oneself; talking Oddly / w difficulty; physical uncoordination; rituals ; acting; animal friend#the layer of ''& all that's fine? like?'' again rather than him ever suppressing or even changing it so far as it's suggested#besides that it's observed as Weird like but so? or else what? nonrhetorical: hostility / rescinded support & driving someone off is what?#& that Truth like the [worse treatment / exclusion / scapegoat] oft recipe for someone giving the support they're not getting themself#again Never let the [ppl both experiencing this] talk oh it's So over. or the child who's all i like family support & kindness actuallyy...#obviously also like the complete opposite of billions. knowing what they're about & letting this Just As Beloved crucial guy be So Weird#but billions Also [hmm feels right for our scapegoated guy to Perceive / Tell Truths / openly want/need & then be hurt] now get his ass#anyway [guy who could always go way on could go way on but only has thirty tags & it's 6am & i still mean to try some drawing] voice#remarkable amt of So True & ''it feels like ppl on the same page w/exactly what they're doing are all behind this''#remarkable amount of concentrated My God That Is So A Slay located in bruno all at once. what a gift#sticking to ''sometimes someone In Your Group is Weird. Disabled. deal'' firmly enough there's no ;) oh u can bet we'll Fix Him in the end#everyone always assumes the worst so....me when i'm [always as a kid yearning for Living In Secret Passages]. emile gtmpota?#oh congrats to whatever rando who will be having his dramatic gay reunion w/bruno just out of frame obviously. i perceive#now imagine if That rando was....emile gtmpota! what a crossover event. haunting4haunting. do i have enough tags for this lmao. yea#& having 1 more tag to say: as though the [endless serving] isn't enough bruno's also as close to gender envy as it gets. incl rats; sure
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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 1 year ago
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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lesbiansanemi · 8 months ago
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I'm so tired
#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl#but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes#but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man#i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that#my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment#my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to#my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b#on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical#i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi#i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o#hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me#i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that#and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other#but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently#i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break#i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember#so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the#chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it#i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways#and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can#i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point#i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay#but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet#i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it#kaz rambles
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the urge to throw a temper tantrum and sleep on the couch is high except I don't even know what I'm throwing a temper tantrum over and it will make my wife feel bad and I don't want my wife to feel bad, I just want to throw a temper tantrum
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s-ccaam-era-crepe · 10 months ago
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a little (lot) worried about my mom but aughhhhh
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foxcassius · 11 months ago
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i was bored to death at work on friday and wrote out some oc thoughts on marnin and selp and their personalities and i want to reiterate/summarize them here too
marnin is, first and foremost, careful, nervous, and guilty—he is quick to blame himself in any situation and is as careful as he possibly can be, especially around selp (when he is of his own mind). however, marnin is also curious and obsessive, and these things can build up and like consume his thoughts and cause him to act impulsively and without thinking. as careful as marnin tries to be in toeing the lines of their weird relationship, he is DEEPLY curious about everything about selp and of such an obsessive personality (and the two of them being isolated together doesnt really help keep his mind straight either) that he ends up crossing lines he normally wouldnt and then wallowing in guilt about it later. his guilty conscience also keeps him from picking up consciously on the signals selp puts out that beg him over the hazy, unclear lines between them; he picks up those hints only unconsciously, as they feed into his obsession, curiosity, and want.
selp, however, is putting out those signals at almost all times. for all that marnin is careful and reserved, selp is possessive and analytical and jealous. these might not be the first words you would use to describe him upon meeting him (or upon reading the story he features in), but they are his deepest and some of his strongest personality traits, especially in regards to the relationship he and marnin share. don't get me wrong, he tries to be careful with marnin. he knows marnin well and becomes very quickly acquainted with marnin's anxiety and conscience. this is why he doesnt push or act himself, usually. he doesnt want to frighten or distress marnin. but selp is obsessive to a whole other degree. marnin wants to know things; selp NEEDS to know every last thing about marnin in his efforts to "have" and "keep" him. it is why, especially in the beginning, selp takes so many more liberties asking questions, touching and investigating marnin physically, and making decisions for him. once they are on the ship alone among the stars and the boundaries between them begin to blur and selp sees how much this confuses and distresses marnin, that is when he takes more of a backseat role and encourages, flirts, asks leading, dangerous questions, and utilizes this new body language he has never tapped into before but that marnin reacts to. as little as selp understands the physical draw he feels, due to it not being a thing at all in olss culture, he thoroughly enjoys each heightening moment of intimacy between them and truly it is a feat of his restraint that he manages to maintain his more passive role as his need and obsession and desire to "have" increase as their encounters cross further and further into the realm of the sexual. i would say, especially in some of these ways, selp is manipulative, though i would try to argue he never goes too far with his manipulation, and marnin's guilt is entirely his own creation, as selp is always quick to assure him that 1) theyve done nothing wrong, marnin has done nothing wrong and 2) they BOTH acted, mutually
marnin is walking repression and restraint carrying simmering want that is forced to build and bubble over in outbursts that cause him, after the fact, to panic and apologize and beat himself up. selp is a vibrating, horny 600 year old who doesn't even know what sex is but wants it so so bad but restrains himself tremuously, waiting until marnin is on his wavelength and then sending out a steady stream of sub-atomic invitations to partake of his flesh. and they were made for each other.
#dont get me wrong selp is also genuine and sweet and loving#he wants to know EVERYTHING about marnin not just inspect his body sexually. and he is genuinely interested#he is a scientist after all. so he has a genuine scholastic interest in marnin's culture and language and biology#that goes along with his possessive wanting interest in those things#i feel like when im just describing their relationship i do selp no justice. he is funny + understanding + caring + protective + smart#and these are all a part of their relationship too!! but i have somehow struggled to figure out how marnins timid personality would ever be#brave enough to lay his hands on selp and do what both of them want so badly to do. and it does HAVE to be him i have tried.#when selp initiates physically instead of just sending out supersonic waves marnin panics and doesnt know how to react#when marnin takes the initiative and therefore CAN blame himself for a second he is easier to assure him and he gets a little less guilty#every time. after a certain point. he feels more guilty every time until he reaches a breaking poiny and they have an intervention#(marnin had shied away from verbally recognizing the fact that they wanna fuck each other bc he didnt understand it. also taboo.)#and then after the intervention he feels a little better and more confident each time they touch each other (half the time not even sexually#btw) until he is totally comfortable and confident in it#<- shoves all that to the side* ANYWAY HAHA THIS SAYS NOTHING ABOUT ME IN COLLEGE. HAHA THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME PERSONALLY.#MY OCS ARENT A REFLECTION OF ME WHEN I MADE THEM THEY ARENT. THEY ARENT.#t
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