#And nearly crying with realisation

[melatien]

My submission for @aimportantdragoncollector's trioholders event (bonus round)!!

they are at the beach

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

So fun fact My Last Duchess (Robert Browning) is one my favourite poems and I am currently reading The Marriage Portrait (Maggie O’Farrel) and quickly falling in love with it and one of my favourite songs is Portrait of a Dead Girl (The Last Dinner Party) and I don’t think you understand how I can never recommend enough times that if you love one of these things individually you should check out the others and if you don’t know any of them you should introduce yourself to them because *screams*

(Btw for added context The Marriage Portrait and My Last Duchess are both inspired by the same historical figures Duke Alfonso II d’Este (fifth Duke of Ferrara) and Duchess Lucretia do Cosimo d’Este (née de’ Medici). Lucretia was much younger than him and died at 16, within the first year of their marriage. Her official cause of death was putrid fever but it has been popular theorised that Alfonso poisoned her. My Last Duchess describes the painting that Alfonso had commissioned of her, known as her marriage portrait. I included Portrait of a Dead Girl in this because the themes are very similar and it makes me think of her when I listen to it. ALSO: I’m not classing this as spoilers for the book because it is real history and the book tells you what happens to Lucretia all the way through the beginning including in the epigraph, but if anyone thinks I should tag this as spoilers let me know and I’ll add it)

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

[lanayrutower]

this keeps me up at night btw.

[softquietsteadylove]

Here is an idea.

For the human AU a new deviant appears. But it’s not that kind of deviant we know. It has some special abilities and Gil is in danger. How about some horror for this one? 👀

"Gil!"

His head whipped around. He was helping clean up some of the ruins of the outer city, since that was all he was good for, now. The moon was high, providing a good amount of light.

The others were reluctant to let him outside Babylon temple--they were reluctant to let him do anything. He had to all but sneak out to even do this much, especially without worrying Thena.

"Gilgamesh!"

That was definitely her voice, though. Gil dropped the rocks he was moving and looked around again. He couldn't sense anything, but his senses were diminished at the moment. He tried to listen for the slightest sound, but he couldn't pick up anything.

He cursed his human condition, not for the first time.

"Gil, help me!"

That was definitely Thena screaming. It was her voice, at least. Gilgamesh started walking, looking around the corners of crumbled homes and around the deep shadows of the rubble. His cautious steps turned to a light jog.

"Gil, please!"

"Thena?" he called out, but he swore it was just the open air to hear him. What was happening? He jogged closer to the edges of the walls. The wall was still technically under construction, Phastos working as fast as he could. But Gil was the main source of their work efforts, and Babylon wall was huge.

"Gil?" it sounded like a whisper, now. But it was still her voice, thin and high, as if she had been crying. He had never really heard her like that before. But it was his Thena. It was her voice.

"Thena," he repeated, whispering for her as he crept around in the dark. "Thena, if you-"

"Gilgamesh," the voice changed. This sounded less like her. He knew it was off.

He froze. He didn't have Eternal strength or senses anymore, but humans had the best survival instinct. His was screaming. Something wasn't right. It wasn't before and it really wasn't now. He crouched lower, looking around but slowing his breathing as much as he could. His heart was pounding.

"Gilgamesh, help me," the voice cooed, but it was closer. He could better hear what was wrong with it--the wiry echo trailing after it. It sounded almost mechanical, like the grind of Phastos' gears.

Gil lowered to one knee, trying to peek around one of the corners of a building's remains. He hadn't heard it at all, but he saw the massive foot come down. It was wiry, thickly muscled, a terrible colour.

"Gil, help!" it repeated, in the same tone and intonation as last time. It could only conjure so much.

He held his breath, and when he did need to breathe, he pressed his palm over his mouth and nose. This was like the one that had rendered him all but human. They were evolving, and not just new appendages or wings or even that gas. This one was luring them into a trap.

"Gilgamesh, help me!" it repeated, louder this time. It prowled around the house. It was assuring that these things still had some weaknesses to account for.

He watched as the thing rounded the corner. Its head looked like it was a bare skull in comparison to the rest of its body. Perhaps it didn't have a sense of smell, and that was why it was depending on using the sounds it was producing to lure its prey.

Its horrible maw opened again, its paws hitting the ground. "Gil, please."

He didn't like that it could make it sound so convincing. It really sounded like Thena--it sounded like her voice crying for him. How would this walking nightmare know what that sounded like? And how did it know exactly whose voice to use to lure him out here?

"Gil," the beast repeated in his sweet Thena's voice. Its teeth clicked against themselves as its jaw swayed back and forth on its head. "Gilgamesh, please."

He could hear it now. The way it chopped up the words, not sounding totally fluid. But he had to get this close to hear that? If he weren't careful, he would already be fighting this thing.

And that wasn't an option for him now. He was in no condition to fight a Deviant, let alone an evolved one. And it had lured him out here, in the dark, alone.

Fear: humans felt fear. They had incredible instincts for self-preservation, protection, survival. But every cell in his body - whatever body it was - was feeling fear. And he had never felt fear quite like this.

He could die out here.

The Deviant drew closer to him. It repeated the sounds of Thena's distress, switching to screams of terror and agony. What a terrible monster these things could be. They really were here for a reason; humans couldn't fight these things.

He couldn't fight this thing. He couldn't fight at all, anymore. Pure instinct had brought him out here--a need to protect Thena. But she was the one protecting him. She was the Fighter of them now.

He had never had to consider life without Thena. She probably hadn't considered it either. Would he be leaving her alone if he died out here? What if she fought this thing? Would it use his voice to lure her out alone like it did with him?

She could fight it. She was stronger than this thing. He was still glad that it wasn't her that had been turned human. He hated being this vulnerable--this useless. But he hated the thought of it being Thena even more.

"Gilgamesh," that thing whispered. It was right on top of him.

He breathed into his palm. He couldn't control his heart, he couldn't control his lungs. His body was crumbling under the pressure. Thousands of years of fighting and it was lost on the human adrenal system. He squeezed his eyes shut.

Maybe he could manage to see Thena one last time before he died.

"Gil!"

That time sounded different. He kept his eyes shut, although he heard footsteps somewhere in the distance. Then, nothing, then, impact.

"Run!" Thena landed with force, cratering the ground between the Deviant and him. She already had her swords ready, slashing at the thing.

It roared at her, first with her own voice, then its usual, beastly cry.

Thena stood her ground, swinging her staff around, keeping her back to him and her arms raised. "Are you hurt?"

His stomach lurched. She had come running to his aid, just like any weak, defenseless human. "N-No."

The Deviant swiped at her but she raised her shield, swiping at it in return. These evolved ones were smart, guarded, it knew she was a threat, and it wasn't pursuing her needlessly. It was watching her.

He couldn't see her face, but he saw her body locking up.

The Deviant opened its mouth again. "Thena!"

"What in all the stars?" she asked rhetorically.

"That was how it got me down here," he admitted. The thing's jaw clicked and its teeth rattled around again.

"Thena, help!"

"Celestial demons," she cursed it as she shifted her spear into a different shape. She directed the point at it, tri-tipped and wide. It was a weapon not for slicing but for inflicting an irreparable wound. The great warriors of Greece copied this very weapon. "Try it."

The beast chose not to. It gave her another half-swipe, only for show before retreating. Its long, wiry body slithered away from them and through the crumbling cracks in the wall.

Gil let out a breath as its form disappeared into the shadows. He dragged himself up the wall behind him and to his feet, not liking the state of his knees. "We gotta get that fixed."

Thena didn't say anything.

He frowned, fidgeting with his sweaty palms. "You okay?"

"You shouldn't have been out here."

He was tempted to wince at the cold tone of her voice. She was right, he shouldn't have let that thing lure him away, especially knowing he was in no condition to fight.

"What were you thinking?" she asked him. It was worse than her yelling and shouting at him, her voice was barely above a whisper. She turned to him, her powers fading into the air like sparks. Her hair picked up in the wind. "What were you thinking, Gilgamesh?"

He was feeling properly chastised now. "I-I just..."

She waited for him to finish rather than prompt him.

He sighed. "It was your voice, Thena. You were calling for my help."

She didn't argue. She didn't chastise him further, she accepted his answer. She even moved closer, wrapping her arms around him. Her cheek was cold against his warmer one. "Don't ever scare me like this again."

"Sorry," he patted her shoulder before moving his hand to the cutout of her armour that allowed him the relief of her soft waist.

She huffed at him, but her hold on him didn't loosen. "I'll have more to say about this later."

"Yes, ma'am," he chuckled despite her anger. He let out another breath, relaxing his body more. His limbs felt heavy as Thena began leading him back to the temple.

She gave him a nudge, "I should tell Sersi about this--she'll be livid."

He laughed, giving her a nudge in return.

She stumbled.

They both stared. He blinked, looking at the hand he used to nudge her arm. "Uh, s-sorry."

Thena just stared, at the hand and then at him. She had been expecting a gentle nudge--a human one. He had given her a push that an Eternal would give.

He blinked, surprised by first her kiss and then by her laughter. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off her feet. It was easy, but it wasn't that easy--whatever it was had been a freak accident. But it was a promising sign.

[journey-to-the-attic]

YK ITS NO LONGER HALLOWEEN BUT!! ddvd luci, zhao, ik doing matching costumes like…think abt it. zhao and ik together can convince lucifer 100%. vampire family?! it works out until ik keeps gnawing on lucifer’s hand,, but yk i think ddvd luci would be very sad and sulky at ik growing up…js a bit when ik dosent need him as much anymore

“do you want to go get icecream? with the three flavors?”

“oh maybe later”

“o h okay”

5 minutes later

“luci it’s fine, she’s just a bit older now”

“IS IT??” as he looks like a sad old peacock man

it doesn't have to be halloween to think about matching costumes!!! love them being a vampire family... ik would be a little baby bat and zhao would hold her high up in the air so she can pretend she's flying and then lucifer would take them all for an ACTUAL flight (alternatively: they all go as dragons and lucifer almost burns down the hol because ik was so excited about him pretending to breathe fire with a spell)

i feel like they'd have a night-time routine that always involves little ik getting a story read to her, and the first night she says she doesn't want it lucifer stays awake for like four hours, staring at the ceiling silently until zhao distracts him with some of mammon's shenanigans

he is so so sad when ik first decides she doesn't want to get carried around anymore... he'll very subtly follow her as she goes about her Very Serious Kid Business, hoping she'll change her mind again - whenever she tires herself out enough to reach for him again, he's absolutely over the MOON and will be in a good mood for the rest of the week

(if anyone other than zhao points out that he's definitely sulking he'll glare at them and/or threaten to ground them. when zhao asks about it lucifer just looks at him with his equivalent of 🥺, which is basically just a frown, but different in a very subtle way that only zhao knows how to decipher)

[songofwizardry]

a sequence of real events that occurred in my life over the last two days:

on my spotify 'for you indie and folk mix', the song tethering by lilli furfaro shows up (important note for if you click on the youtube link: the title on spotify is just 'tethering', not with that additional bit of the title that youtube has

i listen to the song at about 7:30am whilst drinking my coffee and marking (which is what i blame my inability to hear all the uh. hints in the lyrics on), and really like it

i immediately send it to one of my friends as 'a sweet song for your morning playlist' and add it to one of my many playlists for WIPs. in this context, I was like "oooh this would go perfectly in Vibe for this critical role fanfic I'm working on" and I add it to the playlist

my friend thinks the song is super sweet and chill. we don't discuss it anymore.

today i am on spotify and on that same playlist, another song by her, lessons, comes on. this time, i am attempting to avoid my marking, so i am looking at my screen, and when the song comes on, i realise the album is called vm, and i think. huh. that's funny.

the song continues. i am half paying attention. i'm like this is nice why is this. also. giving me critical role vibes. do i just have permanent critical role on the brain can i just find this in everything is this a me problem (very probable).

i google lilli furfaro on my work laptop, not really expecting anything apart from maybe finding out a different reason for an album to be called vm and evidence that i have a Problem with making everything about The Blorbos. as the line "i'm learning / that passing through fire can help things grow again", i see this very helpful search result:

i immediately combust, look up the lyrics to tethering and realise there were Many Signs that this is in fact actually a fan song i just. did not notice, and text my friend, who goes "oh my god the album art is just the letters VM how did we not notice"

(in our defence. it's folk music. i don't question the minimalist album decisions i just appreciate them.)

i learn that sometimes, making everything about The Blorbos is actually correct? i will take this lesson forward into my life and implement it regularly.

i also listen to lilli furfaro's entire discography, and my marking is abandoned for like an hour but it is worth it because the music is great. going to purchase it on bandcamp as soon as it's payday.

[gregmarriage]

if i didn’t cry to fall out boy at 3am, would i even be myself?

[marsbotz]

listening to famous prophets (stars) challenge gone wrong gone PAINFUL!!!!!

[ivy-saurs]

the ios uplift alarm tone gives me war flashbacks. do not be fooled by its name.

[natsarrownecklacx]

Watching across the spiderverse for the third time and realising that Hollands spider man had his “a police captain close to spider man dies” canon event when Tony Stark died.

For ppl who think Tony was the leader of the avengers, do with this information what you will.

[labelledame2]

.

[chqnified]

The feeling of: yeah! I might be getting a proper job, one of those fancy 'life long' careers people talk about!!!

And also the feeling of: but. What do you mean.

[isaacathom]

had a dnd session and a subplot is set to resolve and im gonna go a little feral so :) hellow

Naielle Odelia is a warlock under the forgotten star Alcor. She formed this pact 20 years ago in pursuit of a specific knowledge, and was not entirely aware of what was being asked of her in return when she did this. Due to her pact, she was forced into exile from her home country (The Sylvian Empire), and has ultimately ended up here, on the quest of the campaign, opposing a mindflayer incursion in the Jade Sea. This was always Alcor's plan.

A few months ago in-game, Naielle took leave to return "home" to Yerovera to visit her fiancee, who had managed to make inter-planar contact. When she arrived, they learned that Naielle's younger sister, Mariela, was using the remains of her patron-granted research to potentially cause havoc. To prevent disaster, Naielle and the ship captured Mariela, and decided the best way to remove her from the equation was for Naielle to take her back with her to the Jade Sea.

When they arrived, Alcor looked at Mariela and assumed she had been brought there to serve as an acolyte of Naielle's. Another member of a long dead and now maybe resurgent cult of a star. He forced a warlock pact on her, and bound her to Naielle's will, such that attempting to harm Naielle would cause psychic backlash, and that she was bound to follow Naielle's orders and aid her in her crusade against mindflayers.

Naielle, having had 0 intention of this, opposes it categorically. Mariela didn't believe her.

They've been at loggerheads for a while. Naielle and her have never gotten on exceptionally, but realising what she's accidentally done to her sister caused Naielle to flip, to make it damn near her primary objective to free her sister of the pact. There's little the two could do for a long time.

Then, during a brief sojourn in the Plane of Fire, Mariela found a book about the Cult of Alcor, and the history therein.

Alcor once had a cult in the feywild, and when that plane began to tear itself apart structurally, disappearing into pockets of nothingness, he channeled his power through his chief priest, Aerenis, to guide the elves to safety - to Yerovera. In so doing, Aerenis ceased to be mortal, and ascended to serve as an aspect of Alcor.

This was Alcor's goal for Naielle. That she would embody his power against the mindflayer threat.

Naielle fears it. She managed to speak to Aerenis directly for his advice, to be assured his regret that it was coming to this. She was given options;

To forsake her pact entirely, practically erasing 20 years of acquired knowledge. Extremely bad idea

To transfer her 'priesthood' to her sister, sentencing her to that ascendant fate. Undesirable

To, with Mariela's help, declare their pact resolved in the moment of slaying a significant enemy - an Aboleth, more than likely - removing both of them from the pact. Dangerous

To Ascend. Deeply Undesirable.

Naielle relayed these to Mariela, who used the fact she was a political prisoner to have coded messages sent home. Naielle, and then-Commodore Vandervest did not know what the messages contained, but Naielle insisted they be untampered with (and Mariela, apparently, convinced Vandervest to honour this).

Vandervest recieved word on the matter, but due to his failing health, decided to leave much of the matter to be dealt with by his successor, only informing Naielle of a political decision - that, due to the lengths the Sylvian Empire had gone to secure Mariela's correspondance, it had been ordered by his superiors that Mariela either be completely locked down for future use as a bargaining chip, or be killed.

He had recieved an answer from the Empire on the matter.

His successor, Acting-Commodore Marius Aubert, once he became aware of the matter, summoned Naielle to his office and said that the code contained suggested an affirmative answer, and that he wished to talk to Mariela about what question she had asked. Naielle, not being entirely confident, agreed to this.

When they got to her, she says she would rather not explain it with Naielle present. Naielle asks, just one question - does it involve me, or her? both. Naielle goes back above deck.

Mariela explains to Marius privately. In the Empire, warlock pacts are forbidden. She had requested special dispensation to seek that power. When pressed further, she explains that Naielle had 'often expressed that she finds her pact burdensome', and that she would relieve it.

Marius hands her the response from her government, and states that while her people may give her permission, he can't allow harm to come to Naielle.

She requests to talk to her, and Marius goes above deck to fetch her, though takes the short opportunity to pre-warn her of what Mariela appears to be asking for. Naielle descends below deck already on the verge of tears.

They talk. Mariela calls her Kiir, her childhood name. They gave her permission to take the pact. Naielle can only ask her if she's sure, over and over again. Are you sure? Do you understand what you ask for? Mariela is thrown by the question, but says yes - she can do better than Naielle did. Naielle believes her! It wouldn't be hard! But does she know what she asks? Does she understand how easy it would be fuck up the same as she did?

Which is when Mariela reveals part of what has driven the strife between them.

She can't stay in Naielle's shadow.

Their mother is a strict woman, at all times aware that her position is fragile and her family is in danger, that the imperial regime could at any moment deem them obstacles and wipe them out. She lived through the empire's bloody rise, and watched her father's execution.

She criticises. She measures her children, against the world and each other, and finds them wanting.

Naielle didn't notice it, so much. She had the wholehearted support of her father, shared in his field of expertise and his passion for history. If mother found her wanting, her father didn't.

Mariela noticed. Mariela noticed as she was compared unfavourably to her academic sister, a more talented student with a natural gift. Her mother still compares to two, as Naielle's exile looms over the family like a ghost.

Naielle didn't know. These aren't the sort of things she heard. She knew her twin brother had found their separation difficult, that Mariela had remained 'cruel' on the topic of Naielle, had sometimes caused arguments with their brother on the topic. Naielle didn't know that she wasn't just a cudgel by a sister proud and patriotic, but a mother critical of all the efforts her children make.

If Mariela could take Naielle's failings - the research she'd been exiled over - and turn it into an asset for the empire, she would escape that legacy. She'd finally succeed over her sister. She could turn failure into success.

They hug. They laugh. How the fuck did they get here, crying below the decks of a pirate ship?

Mariela had wanted to kill her. To get revenge for the pact Naielle had foisted upon her (regardless of her lack of intent), to remove her shadow from the Odelia's halls. She had wanted to seize their patrons power and use it to imperial ends, and succeed where Naielle failed.

Did she understand what that power meant? And this time she listens when Naielle explains that. That to ascend is not just to be handed power, freely wielded and beyond recourse. It is to leave the material plane and exist as part of the divine, alone and separate.

Mariela absorbs it for a moment. How did Naielle bear the weight of that over her? Ha! Ha... That is all Naielle can say.

Mariela doesn't want Naielle to go.

There remains an option that lets them both have a chance to go home! They kill an Aboleth together, they declare it done. Option 3. And then Naielle will take her home, and she can spin any story she likes that would satisfy the Empire, say she overpowered Naielle and stole her research, that she was bound and coerced and bided her time until Naielle dropped her guard. Naielle will take her home, and she'll return to the sea, and then, in the future -

Naielle will come home, in a disguise? Naielle laughs at that. Perhaps not. But they can surely find a way to stay in contact, perhaps through Naielle's wife, or some other means, until Naielle is safe to come home.

Mariela agrees with the plan. She'll pack her things, and return with Naielle and Marius to the front they rapidly approach, and help Naielle fight the Aboleth. And she'll go home.

And Naielle's chances of coming back from the final fight change. Her death is no longer a guarantee, whether at the hands of dark forces or wrapped in the light of the celestial. Maybe she has doomed the fleet by forsaking the divine, made it more likely none of them come home. But Naielle considers herself a consummate coward, and selfish, and she can't pick anything else.

Doesn't she have orders to hold or kill Mariela? Well, didn't Mariela have orders to take celestial power and kill Naielle? Neither sister will follow what the highers say. Maybe they'll make a show of it on both ends, and live content in their treasons, and dodge the consequences and live to know they spared the other, in a manner of speaking.

[veritasangel]

⋆ ｡⋆ fem pov ୨୧˚ warnings: suggestive mention of a leash / allusions to wedding night ↣ {wc: 1.1k}

older knight! simon - one︱two ︱three ︱four︱five︱six

Simon doesn’t think he’s ever heard the word, “No” so much in his entire life. The sound is a constant on your tongue, echoing through the halls of the castle like a battle cry and the two of you weren’t even married yet.

“No, I’m not attending that dinner.”

“No, I will not bow to the whims of the court on this matter. It’s our wedding, not theirs.”

“No, Simon, I refuse to wear that.”

The nobles constantly whisper about the turbulent nature of the union, wondering how long the old knight can endure the storm that is his future bride. But Simon knows he’ll be just fine, he’s never shied away from a challenge before and back then the only reward was food and a nice bed. With you as his prize? He’d gladly weather any storm you came at him with.

For Simon, there was no sweeter victory, than you.

After settling the arrangement with the King, he quickly discovered your troublesome character. He knew you were a force to be reckoned with, but what he hadn’t expected, was the pride that swells in his chest every time you stand your ground, even against him.

Simon finds himself standing in awe of you and your stubborn will. And in the eye of your storm, he discovers a woman who is greatly independent and loyal to those she cares for.

“Don’t worry... I’m sure it’s not too late to back out of this arrangement.” an older man speaks, tearing him from his thoughts.

“Back out? Why?” Simon questions, puzzled, as he looks away from the man. He watches as you command the attention of a group of pretentious rich folks, their names already long forgotten.

“Haven’t you heard?” the man tuts, shaking his head in disapproval. “The princess is notoriously difficult. She’ll have you on a leash before you know it!”

Simon’s eyes follow you, taking in the graceful sway of your hips as you move through the ballroom. “Is that meant to deter me?” he replies, a little too bluntly. “I have no problem letting my future wife take the reins, she is royalty, after all.”

He pauses, gaze lingering on your elegant form, admiring your curves. “Besides, I am a knight- or was. Following orders is second nature to me. If my wife wished to put me on a leash, I’d get on my knees and play the role with pride.”

In Simon’s eyes, you were not nearly a nightmare at all. Challenging? Yes, but in a way that ignited his passion. You were intelligent and valued your autonomy. Those who found you demanding were simply the ones who didn’t give you the respect you deserved, and Simon had come to realise that your responses were always justified.

To him, you were a graceful princess, who would one day make a great Queen. Though you stood apart from your family. You always voiced your displeasure for outdated customs and refused to be confined by them. You challenge Simon, but your spirit also inspires him, pushing him to be better and push past the traditions that he was once familiar with in his knighthood.

“Come, come—I want to dance with you.” you beamed, excitement evident as you rushed over to him. Simon instantly rises to follow you, as if it were the most instinctive thing in the world for him. He knows that he would follow you anywhere with no hesitation, if you were to just smile at him like that.

A soft melody fills the room as you lead him to the centre of the ballroom. A small laugh leaves your lips as you see his apprehension. Your laughter was its own symphony, one he could listen to endlessly without growing tired of, even if it was at his expense. 

Both of your eyes gleam under the cascading glow of the lights and Simon can’t help but smile, a rare softness gracing his features. The two of you dance, lost in the feeling. Simon’s strong, yet gentle grip, holds you steady. One hand respectfully roams along your lower back, causing a slight shiver to run across your skin. 

In this moment, it was just the two of you, he wasn’t a hardened knight, just Simon. You were just two souls, enjoying this dance.

And maybe his soul was always yours because here with you, he feels like he belongs, more than he ever has in his entire life. Everything around you fades to nothing as he twirls you around, your movements fluid as you both melt into each other, like a stream of water. Your steps were effortless and he tried his hardest to keep up.

“You’ve been practising the dance.” you smirk at him, admiring the glint in his eyes. “Well I can’t embarrass my darling wife on our wedding day, can I? I have to get my practice in.” He chuckles darkly. It’s a sound that goes straight to your core and right now as you look at him, you curse yourself for insisting the two of you wait until the wedding night.

You looked at him like he was the only person in the room and it was something he hadn’t known he was missing. There was a slight flutter in his chest that he’d never felt before and he wouldn't have ever imagined the first time would be with the royal princess- no- his wife to be.

The music flowed and there was not a single worry in your mind. It was just pure bliss as you felt the warmth of his hand in yours, the other one lovingly caressing your waist.

The night slowly winds down as you rest your head on Simon’s chest, a sigh of pure contentment escaping your lips. He held you close, his heart swelling with a tenderness that he would never be able to voice. His touch felt natural, familiar. It was as if you two were already years into marriage, nobody would guess that the wedding was still a few weeks away with how you two looked at each other now.

“I’m grateful to be the man you marry.” he says, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. You smiled at him, and he felt he could die a happy man, then and there.

“I am too.” you whisper.

No more words were needed. The answer was in the way you held him tighter, the way you looked up at him adoringly and in the way your heartbeat matched his.

༄ tags: @alucardsdaddyissues @nijiru @honethatty12

༄ cod m.list

© veritasangel ↣ 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴

[theeaterofsocks]

Idk man it’s frustrating. Like, I’m so happy that my friends are on hrt and doing well and that they’re happy. That should be the only thing that matters. They’re amazing and wonderful and deserve joy.

But the thing is, I’ll be seeing them talk about how long they’ve been on T, congratulate each other on milestones, talk about how it’s helped them and how much more like real men they feel. And I wanna be nothing but happy for them. But I can’t medically transition. I can’t take hormones. It would fuck me up, I’m on so many medications, my health conditions just would not be able to deal with it. I’ve spoken to my gp. It’s a no-go. Sure, I can still get surgery but the waiting list is a decade long without a referral. So while all my friends are celebrating being real men, I’m gonna be stuck here. And I know I KNOW that even if they’d never say it, they would never think of me as a real man. And I think that hurts more. That I might be pitied for all the things I couldn’t be, all the things I can’t do. But still be seen as less than.