#And then from the website's perspective there are so many nightmares that come into it

[remastered-feedback]

The obsession websites that are successful without video seem to have for adding video is baffling to me. Yes I get that it's chasing the fad and trying to get another site's market share, I get the why, but it's just bizarre to me that so many companies that are working properly will look at the absolute logistical nightmare that is adding video and decide it's worth the cost in order to burn their primary users and become known as a worse version of another website.

Just the sheer expense of the additional storage to host terabytes upon terabytes of HD video should be enough to scare off most companies with an ounce of sense, and that's only the first and most obvious headache to deal with. It only makes sense if it's the only thing you're doing, and even then it only makes sense under the right conditions.

[female-malice]

TrevorSpace markets itself as a safe space for LGBTQ+ young people to talk about their experiences with identity and peer/familial rejection, which sounds like a great idea. But browsing the website for merely a few minutes makes it abundantly clear what it actually is: an online dating service for children and people aged 13-24. No website or chat room of this nature should cater to minors, especially one that encourages them to talk to adults. Adults in their 20s regularly talk to teenagers about sexuality and gender transition on Trevorspace. Profiles specify whether the user is over or under 18, but there is no procedure to verify whether the user is answering truthfully. Not only is the website specifically for children and adults, but someone of any age can say that they are a minor and have inappropriate conversations with kids.

...

The kids who use this predatory dating service have threads and forums about how the website has “too many groomers and pedophiles,” yet the adults that they trust in their lives are telling them that it is a good source for social support. It is an identity crisis in a nutshell. The service is full of frantic posts from teenage girls freaking out over the fact that they are unsure of their sexual identity and how this is something that they need to figure out immediately. Since when is that considered appropriate? The most disturbing part is that a lot of these girls express that they are same-sex attracted. Instead of being told that there is nothing wrong with being gay and that they will figure this out eventually, The Trevor Project tells them that they are actually boys trapped in female bodies and minors need to be chemically castrated as soon as possible or there is a 40% chance that they will kill themselves. This overused statistic is a lie and The Trevor Project is facilitating the spread of this lie.

There are posts where girls say that they realized they were attracted to women and transitioned into boys in order to become straight. This is a new form of conversion therapy. Studies show that nearly 80% of these children will reach adulthood and realize that they are just gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Trevorspace is a grooming nightmare come to life. It is a direct contribution to an impending health crisis in the gay community – an epidemic of detransitioned people whose lives have been ruined by this new form of teenage conversion therapy, which they were groomed into partaking in. Over the next decade, there is going to be a huge wave of detransitioners who realize that they were victims of conversion therapy and grooming. The wave has already started and is going to forever be a stain on our community that we look back on in horror. Given recent events in the UK and Mermaids, it is probably a smart idea to consider the possibility that a similar phenomenon is occurring across the pond.

Detransitioned people are usually shunned from the trans community and harassed by queer activists if they try to discuss their experience publicly. This is present in the Trevorspace forums. Kids who were permanently altered have made posts about feelings of regret. They are then chastised about how the detransitioner problem is a hoax and that recognizing their existence is considered hateful, invalidating, and harmful to the transgender community. If the transgender and queer community are so hung up on validation and accuse people of “denying their existence,” then why are they demanding that we deny the existence of gay people who were converted as kids and face medical/bodily harm for the rest of their lives? My community deserves better than that. Detrans people have a lot of important perspectives to contribute and they are welcome at our table any day.

(continue reading)

[rinoaskyes]

Indie Live Expo - Part 1

Anyone who watches Indie Live Expo from start to finish should receive a Udemy certificate. This year's show was over 5 hours long and hand on heart honesty, I am still getting through it. But just in the first few segments, I've already found some really interesting games I want to highlight so let's get into it!

What is Indie Live Expo?

Indie Live Expo (ILE) is a multilingual multi-broadcast showcase of indie games from around the world. Since it originated in Japan, most of the titles, studios and publishers that participate tend to be Japanese. However in recent years, we've definitely seen a lot of entries from overseas. From the website, it says that ILE has been viewed by over 98 million people with more than 2,600 games introduced.

Here's a link to the YouTube stream if you want to check it out yourself!

There were so many games covered throughout the show with some of them getting prime placement while others barely getting a second a la ADHD flashcards. Below are 10 that caught by eye.

No Case Should Remain Unsolved by Somi

As the name implies, this is a detective game about piecing together fragments of memories to solve a cold case. The case involves a young girl that went missing back in 2012, but is now being reexamined.

I'm really intrigued by what the developers are calling a 'jigsaw puzzle' style reasoning system as it sounds quite different from what I might be used to from games like Ace Attorney or Danganronpa. It seems like it's a really short game too at only 2-3 hours of game play. I really want to pick this title up but I think it would be perfect if it was on the Switch!

SCHIM by Ewoud van der Werf, Nils Slijkerman

This is a 3D platformer about jumping from shadow to shadow! I think that's such a cool concept and I love the calm vibes that the art is exuding. It also has such a unique hand-illustrated look.

Also, according to the developers, a schim is the soul and spirit of an object, thing, or living being. Everything in the world has one. A schim should never be separated from their thing! This does happen to your schim, this schim who is attached to a human being is separated from them early on in the game.

The Star Named EOS by Silver Lining Studio

Just looking at the key art makes me feel so at peace. The Star Named EOS is a story-rich puzzle adventure with a strong theme of photography. You explore the past through photos taken and uncover the truth behind a family mystery. All of the art is hand-drawn and there are puzzles too

It's giving Opus Prism Peak Sigono which I am totally onboard for. I love games that explore meaningful personal stories.

Nightmare Operator by DDDistortion

I don't normally recommend or talk about horror games but the design of the game is too cool to resist! This is a a survival horror shooter about hunting yokai in the haunted ruins of Tokyo. The game has an over-the-shoulder perspective and utilises a low-poly aesthetic that's reminiscent of classic PlayStation games. The locations are inspired by real-world places in Tokyo, tense that's going to freak me out next time I venture outside! DDDistortion is apparently a 5-man team in Tokyo so incredible.

The Many Pieces of Mr Coo by Gammera Nest

This is a surrealist point and click adventure about a character named Mr Coo who is looking for all of his pieces. I really love this genre as it reminds me of old Humongous Entertainment games I played as a kid. The wacky yet lovable vibe of the game also reminds me of comics, Saturday morning cartoons with some fine art touches in the backgrounds.

Ultra Mushroom by TRY GAMES, room6, xemono

"There was once a man who made a billion yen in just three days by running a curry stall here. Our protagonist, inspired by this news, comes to the festival with the ambition of making it big with a mushroom stall (with zero cost mushrooms!)."

How is this not the best intro to a video game ever?! You play as a mushroom hunter/mushroom stall seller trying to make a killing at a festival in the foot of a mountain. There's not a lot of footage on Steam yet but it seems like it'll be a mix of foraging, running the stall and getting to know festival attendees.

There's definitely some psychedelic overtones here if you look at the colour palette of the game and some subtleties (not so subtle) around the special mushrooms you can gather.

Matsuro Palette by SleepingMuseum

A simulation game about surviving seven days with a girl who lives inside a cursed painting. You'll need to successfully paint her portrait by going off cues from past victims. If you make her angry, she'll kill you. There's a lot of painting and art-themed games these days but I haven't seen one that combines some suspense and horror elements.

Just a note that this game came out in 2020, but a remake of it is planned for Spring 2024.

Isles of Sea and Sky by Cicada Games

Set across ancient islands, you start the game as a castaway who must solve puzzles and uncover hidden secrets all without a set path or even any dialogue. The art is very reminiscent of old pixel art games, the music is meditative and atmospheric and the story is said to be deep.

I met the developer, Jason Newman at BitSummit in 2023 back when this game went by a different name. We had a really nice chat about anthropology as this game finds its roots across many different world cultures even if the themes feel universal. The released this month and I've yet to give it a go but I hope to play it soon.

Swappy World by Awakening Games srls

We've seen all kinds of card games but this is the first time I've seen card gameplay be combined with open-world crafting. Each card will help you craft weapons, build your base and explore. The goal is to plan out your resources and interaction points to help you survive for as long as possible. I love how intertwined the cards are with the environment. For example, when the game goes into the nighttime, you'll only be able to see the central card in front of you.

Yunyun Syndrome!? Rhythm Psychosis by WSS playground and WHO YOU

Play as a hikikomori girl who is on a permanent high from listening to denpa music in this rhythm-adventure game. Fall into her brain rot as she loses all self-control posting anonymously with the goal of total world annihilation. Yes these are all real words that I riffed off of from the actual game description on Steam.

Where Needy Streamer Overload tries to tell a life lesson about the what it means to seek approval from internet people, YunYun Syndrome seems to go completely all-in insane with this plot and music. Also I think I have a type when it comes to games and it's mental illness and lots of shades of purple.

I'll come back to write a Part 2 after I've made it through the rest of Indie Live Expo!

[my-optimove]

5 Essential Tips to Find the Perfect Removal Company for Your Move

Moving to a new home or office can be both exciting and overwhelming. One of the crucial decisions you'll make during this process is choosing the right removal company to assist you. With so many options available, it's essential to ensure you select a reliable and trustworthy service provider like Optimove Pty Ltd. Here are five tips to help you find the perfect removal company for your needs:

1). Research Thoroughly: Start your search for a removal company well in advance of your moving date. Utilize online resources, such as review websites and social media platforms, to gather information about different companies. Look for reviews and testimonials from past customers to gauge their reputation and reliability.

2). Check Credentials: Ensure that the removal company you're considering is properly licensed and insured. This protects you in case of any accidents or damages during the moving process. Optimove Pty Ltd, located at Level 22, 127 Creek Street Brisbane Queensland 4000, is fully licensed and insured, providing you with peace of mind.

3). Get Multiple Quotes: Don't settle for the first removal company you come across. Instead, obtain quotes from several companies to compare prices and services offered. Keep in mind that the cheapest option isn't always the best, so consider the overall value and reputation of the company.

4). Ask About Services: Different removal companies offer various services, so it's essential to inquire about what's included in their packages. Opt for a company like Optimove Pty Ltd that offers a range of services, including packing, transportation, and unpacking. This ensures a smoother and more efficient moving experience.

5). Seek Recommendations: Word of mouth can be a valuable tool when searching for a removal company. Ask friends, family, and colleagues for recommendations based on their past experiences. Personal referrals can provide valuable insights into the quality of service provided by a particular company.

By following these tips and choosing a reputable company like Optimove Pty Ltd, you can ensure a stress-free and successful moving experience. Contact Optimove Pty Ltd at 1300 400 874 to learn more about their services and how they can assist you with your upcoming move.

It’s always tiring and hectic to plan your move. There are many things to wrap up and many other matters to look for, and meanwhile, you are entrusting your most valuable belongings to people who are altogether strangers to you. This is never an easy move to make. In fact, for many of us, this is nothing less than a mere nightmare. Imagine your stuff will be picked, wrapped, and transferred to a new destination. How can this be something that somebody would ever like to do without the help of a professional Removalist Brisbane? Optimove is a professional Removalist Company that can be trusted and relied on all perspectives.

[technical-magi]

I feel like a lot of people on this website don’t really consider the actual reasons why AI art is a problem, and try and blame a thousand thousand other things that genuinely do not fucking matter.

AI art is not a problem because it lacks some sort of intangible “soul” to it. It’s not a problem because it did not take effort. You’re welcome to believe that this makes it less valuable, and to some extent I agree there, but that doesn’t make it a problem.

AI art is not a problem because of the flaws that come from the stable diffusion algorithm, either. It’s not somehow infinitely worse because recursively generating hands often results in too many fingers because one stage of finger generation fails to account for the previous stages. It’s a great way of identifying the art, but these errors aren’t why AI art is an issue, and there’s no guarantee they’ll be around forever as the technology develops further.

Arguably, depending on your perspective, it’s not even the IP violation itself that’s an issue. There’s something to be said for how the artwork sourced for these algorithms was posted publicly, and that the infinite reproducibility of certain goods makes their presence in an otherwise tangible and fungible economy an economics theory nightmare. I don’t really know if I agree with this perspective, but it’s worth considering that the exact same issue happens with AI text generation and that gets infinitely less attention, and even non-AI things like the infinite reproducibility of certain machinery part designs makes their designers lost to history.

The problem with AI art is the same issue with automation in every single other field. While currently it isn’t advanced enough to replace the original field, and there will always be a demand for true, human-created goods, we’re looking at the start of automation of a field most people did not think we could automate. This automation will (even if it hasn’t already) reduce the demand for work in that field, lowering income of workers in that field to some degree. This would not be a problem if income and economy were games people played for luxuries and not the means by which people survive in this world.

This ties back to the IP violation issue. In an ideal world, anything that can be recreated indefinitely without affecting the original would mean that anyone could have that thing without worry about impacting its creator. That’s an argument for intellectual property being a little silly. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and monetizing art is a way many people survive.

I don’t know what the answer to this problem is. Maybe we’re far enough along on the automation chain that universal basic income would be viable, or maybe we need to make education and re-focusing ones’ career easier and less destructive. Maybe both. But discussions about AI art right now are often about so many other things than the core point of how it, like many other forms of automation, will hurt the artists in the current economic framework we use.

And I doubt we’re going to see the sudden stop of all technological progress in the field, so maybe it’s time to revise our economics, instead.

[raincityathletics]

Raincity 3.0 - Update on the Updates

This is an update from this post.

Hey team - Coach Thor here,

It’s been a helluva month! After 3+ months of software shopping, demos, and negotiating we had finally settled on our new ‘host’ and were super excited for some of the new features we were going to get with Triib... until about 3 weeks into setup, when we realized that from a back end perspective (payroll, management, etc) it was not going to be possible to keep Raincity operating at the capacity it does on the new software. SO we’ve officially had to make the call to ABORT the new software, and will instead be doing a full cleanup as we head into all our new programs & classes launching in September!

Also, it turns out we were lied to and as many of you have noticed, payment processing continued to work just fine through August (they just wanted to keep us on our toes I guess......). So we apologize for any inconvenience that may have caused!

What’s coming up?

Regardless of the nightmare this process has been, I’m still VERY excited for everything launching in September! We’ll keep dropping more details, and getting things updates on the back end (and website), but here’s a sneak peak as well as a few quick questions answered...

What happened to the ACCESS blocks? They’re still in there! 90min blocks during class times and 2 hour blocks during the day. It just made the graphic look messy ;) The full schedule will be updated in Zenplanner in the coming days - for now ignore anything you see beyong Sept 1st!

What happened to the [FF] group classes Monday / Wednesday? Nothing! They got a name change :P The programming you are currently doing is exactly how it will operate in September! But by converting those classes to being a part of our [SC] program - we’ll lower the barrier of entry for others to join (will still require adeqaute barbell experience OR a 3 session OnRamp). The programming will be exactly how it is right now: Always a strength component focusing on Squats / Deadlifts / Pressing (and barbell) and then no barbell in the WODs but still getting that mixed modal functional HIIT! 

What else is new? 

NEW PROGRAM: The [FF] Functional Body is our entry-level mobility & stability program for those looking to add injury prevention and longevity in their training - we’ll still focus on strength work, but with more time spent on single joint and rehab/prehab type focus with low to moderate intensity conditioning (except Fridays).

NEW CLASSES: 

[FF] Olympic Lifting classes at 7AM on Fridays w/ coach James

[FF] Throwdown - Saturday mornings at 8:30 AM (90 minutes) for athletes looking for the harder, heavier, and longer workouts with coach KatieN

[FF] Sport Competition Prep - Monday evenings, for athletes looking to work the higher / harder skill OR in preperation for upcoming Functional Fitness competitions with coach James. 

SIMPLIFIED MEMBERSHIPS: We will not longer have different memberships for each program - instead they will all be ‘group class’ memberships and coaches will modify your program access based on what requirements you’ve met!

[FB] open to all athletes of every level (first class free - bring a friend!)

[SC] requires adequate experience and/or our 3 session [SC] OnRamp

[FF] requires adequate experience with Olympic Lifts and/or our 6 session [FF] OnRamp

4 WEEK CYCLES: You can read more about the programming format we’re shifting into HERE. With a full outline coming before the next block starts in Sept.

[owo-shenanigans]

Hajime, Korekiyo and Ibuki with a fem reader who’s the ultimate love interest? Basically is really good at being the perfect soulmate both platonically and romantically? I feel like these three would be interesting!!!!

This is so interesting????? Wtf man. Gender ambiguous reader, though I did write this from the perspective of the perfect female love interest at times. It might come across as me dissing your idea and I promise I don't mean it in that way- I just took it in the most interesting way that I could. I loved writing these so, so much- I wouldn’t be opposed to writing more, honestly. If anyone needs a CW or TW on this, let me know please.

Hajime, Korekiyo, and Ibuki with an Ultimate Love Interest S/O

HAJIME HINATA

You were scouted because one of the board members saw you and thought you were the cutest little thing he’d ever seen, and after the board investigated, they saw how everyone you meet can’t help but at least like you as a friend.

When you were told this, you were terrified. These creeps stalked you? For some stupid talent that no one can even quantify?! You were only 15, for god’s sake!

You… Don’t like practicing your ultimate. You try to stay away from the other ultimates, too. You don’t want to brainwash people! Or force them to be your friend!

Hajime came across you hiding in the library from the teacher attempting to make you go to your Talent Development class. He helped you keep a lookout, and, well, your relationship evolved from there.

Contrary to belief, Hajime doesn’t hate ultimates- he hates how the school feels like it only cares about the ultimates and not the reserve course students.

Your relationship develops slowly, and you only tell him your talent after a few months of friendship. How do they even tell you’re the Ultimate Love Interest? So many people have such different standards for their crush… 

You probably confess your feelings to him when they try to take him away for the Kamakura project. You just saw red- first they force you into a little box and pick at any part that isn’t pretty and lovable, and now they want to take one of your only friends away?! Absolutely not. Thankfully (or not), your talent was able to save him from the project- this had the potential to gather more data about your talent, after all, if you have a partner.

Hajime probably helps you study at online school, after you confided that the main course barely taught anything actually useful. What could the Ultimate Love Interest do after high school with no new knowledge and a worthless scrap of paper? The Ultimate Mechanic could open a shop, the Ultimate Nurse work in a hospital- what could you do, write blog posts advocating for deeper characters in dating sims?

You make him reevaluate his perspective on Hope’s Peak, for sure.

KOREKIYO SHINGUJI

You were a lab grown specimen- the brain baby senior project by a whole group of ultimates, directed by the school directors. Could they create a person who holds the ultimate talent of something so subjective as Love? The students were directed to make an artificial intelligence that could make anyone love it. They were directed to make a body that would make no one unhappy. They were directed to make a creature that no one could hate.

You were born.

From the moment you opened your softly colored eyes, you were consuming data from dozens of the top dating sims, romance novels, online websites- carefully vetted by your parents so as not to corrupt you. You downloaded the latest fashion trends and taught how to make everyone happy without being wishy washy. You were perfect.

Your parents graduated, and weren’t allowed to take you with them. You were dressed in a cute school uniform and directed to act as human as possible- if you were revealed as an AI, the directors would pull you from your classes.

You joined the 79th class, and made fast friends with every one of them. Kokichi liked you because you liked his jokes, Miu liked you because you never made fun of her, Himiko liked you because you defended her lazy personality… Everyone liked you.

A month into the school year, your classmate Korekiyo tapped you on the shoulder and asked to interview you.

He asked you dozens of questions about your talent, how it worked, why you were chosen and why others weren’t. It was stressful. But it was the first time anyone had cared about you, yourself, as a person, and not what you did for them. You were hooked.

You spoke to him every day, unable to help yourself. Korekiyo, for his part, was happy to talk to you. Your classmates grew jealous as you spent less time with them and more with Korekiyo. The directors were confused- had they programmed in the ability to love? Or the emotion of curiosity?

They held off taking you in to examine you- if worst came to worst and you weren’t gathering enough data, they could always pull you out and wipe your memories of him.

IBUKI MIODA

You were human, yes, but sometimes you didn’t feel as if you were.

You were blessed with a beautiful, flawless face, and your body was one in a million. You were scouted to be an actor at the tender age of 12, and your life evolved into one of constant watch, constant judgement, constant etiquette classes and diets and everything to make you the darling of the media. You were quickly dubbed the cutest kid in film, which evolved into the Ultimate Love Interest before you hit the age of 14. Your life wasn’t your own. You weren’t allowed to consume anything that hadn’t been vetted for bad influences, you were severely punished for any words that weren’t kind and sweet.

You were a sweet dream living a nightmare. When the invitation to Hope’s Peak came in, you almost weren’t allowed to go- Hope’s Peak was notorious for not allowing outside influences in unless under strict supervision. What if you were corrupted?! You only managed to go because the paparazzi had seen the Hope’s Peak crest on your mail and raised a media storm about it, crying how the Ultimate Love Interest was attending the esteemed Hope’s Peak Academy.

Your manager was forced to let you go. But not without piling up the lessons even more, to make sure you wouldn’t be ruined.

Your first day at Hope’s Peak, you had a breakdown in your bedroom. Your schedule only had 4 things on the agenda- what were you supposed to do? Your purity would be ruined if you did anything wrong.

That was when Ibuki knocked softly on your door. You had never heard of her- you weren’t allowed to know of uncultured things such as rock music. She had heard you crying and offered to help if she could.

Ibuki became your emotional rock, and she helped you organize a schedule for yourself. Her peppy cheeriness was a stark contrast to your deep neuroticism. The rest of your class didn’t know your issues, but Ibuki helped you slowly look out from the walls that your media assigned talent had built around you.

When the photo of you laughing and smiling with Ibuki broke to the media, she helped you weather the storm that your fans sent, and barricaded your room from your manager when they stormed Hope’s Peak to get you out.

After a year at Hope’s Peak, you lost your talent of Ultimate Love Interest. And with it, you lost the cage that had trapped you within your own mind ever since you were 12.

[woozi]

*waves* hello… I had a question today, hope you don’t mind :) as someone who makes gifs, what type of like… performance stages do u tend to enjoy the most? bc a few months ago I got bored and started like. going thru svts performances and relentlessly judging the camerawork with my unfounded opinions lol so I was wondering if as a gifmaker u might have a unique perspective of that! like sometimes they have those cameras that will like follow the members (idk the right term) and other times they won’t, and sometimes the lighting is going crazy etc which I assume affects gifmaking… so yeah, I was just wondering! - car crash anon (as an aside, i /think/ I sent u an ask a while ago but also I was really sleep deprived so it may have been my imagination as to whether I actually sent it… im saying this bc I’d like to know if it was a) a real thing I did, which if so… I apologize for my incoherence and b) if it was not real / tumblr ate the ask… I hope I’m not pestering u, it just was. bothering me bc I didn’t have the clearest memory)

(im answering this based on the assumption that we're talking abt stages from shows mubank, emca and the like bc other perfs like the acoustic sessions are a whole different section for me tbh JFDJKDFJK)

ok first of all,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, giffing perf stages is an absolute nightmare but i would do it again and again even if it looks like shit bc they're always soOO fun yet so. fucking. hard. to color and smoothen (esp now that i dont have knlm anymore </3) JKFDJKFJDFJFD

i like it when there's camera movement but these music shows are going thROUGH SO MANY FUCKING HOOPS a lotta the times oh my god. they make stages much more enjoyable to watch when done right tbh. i personally think aespa is the best example of this!! movement makes it so fucking hard to frame gifs though JKDFJFDJK basically high risk high reward if u can pull it off tbh

ALSO YES OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, THE LIGHTING,,,,,,,,,,, i mean its necessary for the stage and i absolutely love lights (not when theyre excessively flashing though,,,) but they also make gifmaking so hard,,,, almost 100% of the time u gotta adjust it per gif 😭

but yeah u know by the end of the day we're all just making gifs for free bc we enjoy it so <3 10/10 would suffer for no reason again LMAOOO

also yes, love, omg it was not a fever dream bc i did receive it!! although i cant guarantee this if ever you've sent other ones bc tumblr really does eat up asks and one of my friends have also been sending me some for a while now and i wasnt able to get ANY of them 😭 i just figured out when she sent me a dm oh my fucking god. this website. BUT ALSO SOMETIMES!!! it just takes me a while to reply, teehee. but thank you for being patient with me!! <3 and you are NOT A BOTHER AT ALL OMG 😭😭😭 im sad that you'd even think so </3 i genuinely love talking to u u dont have to worry abt it at all!! <3 i hope you never get shy abt coming to me, i really like seeing u around!! and you've been w me for so long by now </3 ANYWAY!! thank u for dropping by again ily and i hope ur having a great one!!

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Parent Manipulation Part 1 - Originally posted in 2005 OnTheEmmis.com, a Meehan Program Survivor Website and Discussion Forum. (ICECAP is the former incorporation of enthusiastic sobriety programs, it has since dissolved due to the effectiveness of OnTheEmmis.com)

Part of ICECAP’s selling point is just HOW unorthodox they are. Counselors are trained to peddle the ‘shock’ value of a non-traditional program. It makes sense to many parents, because they see the professional community pathetically limping in the dust of young drug addicts in America today. Then they see ICECAP. Within its walls are dozens of young souls who are just absolutely ecstatic about being there. Where else is this happening in the world of rehab? While I am sure these places exist, my experience has been that they are few and far between.

ICECAP milks that point to no end. On the surface, I can see it being very difficult to deny that any ICECAP facility is producing some kind of positive results. Desperate and nearly to the point of hopelessness, many parents are willing to cloud their better judgment for the sake of something…ANYTHING that will help their children recover from their current nightmares. To these parents, ICECAP is a godsend. They see something different…that is apparently working, and they submit to the fever of potential miracles.

Even the skeptical parent will have a hard time denying the lure of ICECAP. Eventually they become involved with the parent group, and there they meet average Joe Dad and Jane Mom, who are just like them and are saying all these wonderful things about ICECAP. All the red flags are carefully lowered and the cautious and suspicious parents are disarmed through a process that involves the meticulous coordination of staff/parent group/younger group/client and then finally parent…though not always in that order. They have an answer for everything…from the late nights and no school, to the smoking and irresponsible lifestyle. All the answers make sense and seem so logical…

If I may, I would like to take some (a lot of) posting space to poke some holes in this seemingly infallible construction of moral high ground and loving happiness that ICECAP claims to be delivering from.

To begin, ICECAP is in fact extremely attractive. Not just because of the reasons I pointed out above, but for many reasons. Walk down the hall and through the doors of an ICECAP meeting. What do you see? A bunch of cool guys wearing slick clothes, hot girls adorned in the latest fads that the mall has to offer, rock star counselors and smiling suburban parents. Wow.

What you don’t see is the ugly sight of a genuine crack head detoxing. You don’t see the sickness of heroin withdrawal, or the brutality of the world that real addiction and drug abuse/alcoholism has to reveal. Rarely, if ever, will you find in ICECAP the wild madness and insanity that drug addiction has to offer humanity. When these unfortunates do happen to stumble through ICECAP’s door, they almost invariably do not recover there. I know, because I have seen it, but more on that later.

I find it interesting that ICECAP targets white middle/upper middle class families almost exclusively. There is absolutely no effort by ICECAP to reach beyond this demographic at all. Why? When you think about it, wouldn’t someone who comes from the depraved background that Meehan claims to come from be at least slightly interested in helping those whose stories are more like his? How many ICECAP clients are repeated felons, heroin junkies, or murderers? Almost none of them are. In my opinion, this set up is the first element of being disarmed that a parent encounters.

What wealthy, or semi wealthy parent wants their kid in a place where a bunch of ex-violent criminals hang out at? My guess is that when presented with the ICECAP pitch, which at nearly every ICECAP facility includes the line about how they do not accept insurance; your average suburban upper tax-bracket parent takes a silent sigh of relief. If they don’t accept insurance, then they know that the place does not harbor certain ‘undesirables’, because those types of people would never be able to afford ICECAP treatment. In that there is a certain mutual agreement of ‘silence’ going on between the parent and ICECAP. ‘We won’t ask why this facility is full of white suburban kids as long as you keep my kid around safe white suburban kids’.

That would be fine except for one thing: the reason there are so many ‘attractive’ kids from well-off families in ICECAP is because ICECAP primarily does not target true drug addicts. If they did, you would certainly see more of those ‘ugly’ cases that I mentioned above. The truth is; ICECAP primarily targets kids who have quite commonly and naturally stumbled into experimentation with mind altering substances. Left to their own devices, I am of the opinion that most of the kids that become involved in ICECAP would have gone through their adolescence just fine, despite some dabbling in the drug and alcohol culture.

I realize that it may sound as though I am condoning the use of drugs and alcohol by adolescents to some extent. Believe me; I know there are kids out there, even particularly young ones; that need some sort of intervention and rehabilitation when it comes to drugs and alcohol. However, there are few of those kids in ICECAP.

To put what I am saying into perspective, let me share with you an experience I had when I was 15.

I was at a party full of teens from my high school. There were perhaps 50-60 kids at this get-together. Every one of them were drinking and/or smoking pot, many of them were participating in sexual activities, and every single one of them WANTED to and was trying to do all of the above. This was not a party exclusively for ‘dope fiends’ or ‘freaks’ or anything like that. Most of the kids at this shindig were truly just your average high school teens, and many of them were at an identical party just a week before. Many of them would be at an identical party the next week.

Tell me, what seems to make more sense to you: That EVERY ONE of these kids was in need of being yanked out of school and subjected to an outpatient rehabilitation facility, or that they were for the most part kids being kids? I can’t say that I’ve kept up with each of those teens at that party, but I find it really hard to believe that they are every one of them sitting in gutters right now with needles hanging out of their arms.

The truth is that almost NO PARENT likes the idea that THEIR kid is in fact one of those kids at that party. However unfortunate it may be, chances are your kid IS one of those kids. ICECAP knows this, and knows it well.

The truth is that as far as ICECAP is concerned, every single one of those kids at that party IS fit for and IN NEED of their $6,000 outpatient program.

Of the 50-60 kids that were at that particular party, each one of them has one of two kinds of parents that could potentially find themselves in an ICECAP intervention: The ‘worried sick and hopeless parent’, and the ‘clueless’ parent. ICECAP has a brilliant line for both of these types of encounters.

For the worried sick and hopeless parent, they are already full of fear; so that is one obstacle that the given ICECAP counselor does not have to overcome, and can proceed directly to its exploitation. After meeting for over an hour with their child, the counselor then asks the parent/parents to then sit down with him, without the child. They are usually first presented with the structure of ‘enthusiastic sobriety’, and then carefully guided through the counselor’s ‘diagnosis’ of the child, at which point the fear they walked in with is thoroughly taken advantage of. He tells them, ‘first of all, to what extent you THINK your child is using, you can safely double or triple that. Your son/daughter has been for quite some time falling into the pitfalls of a very attractive and powerful drug and alcohol counter culture. It is nearly impossible to wrench young people today from the grip of this diseased phenomenon once they are into it to the extent that your child is. I know this because…’ At which point the counselor shares a true or untrue account of his own experiences with drugs and the drug culture. By the time he is finished, thanks to all of that plus clever little catch-phrases such as ‘true, Billy/Jenny may not be shooting heroin today, but at his/her rate of progression, you can bet on that nightmare down the road’ the parent has gone from being terrified to utterly mortified. The hook has been cast at this point, and it is here that the counselor begins to discuss the ‘solution’.

A recap of how brilliantly ‘enthusiastic sobriety’ competes with this vaunted ‘counter culture’ is usually in order here, followed by a description of outpatient. Another testimony by the counselor involving his own experience with IOP is conveyed, and then the cost.

If the parent is reluctant, or can’t afford it, emotional blackmailing goes into overdrive here, and is perhaps the most insidious aspect of the ‘intervention’. The parent/parents is told in so many words that their son/daughter will DIE if they do not get the ‘intensive level’ of ‘necessary treatment’ that outpatient provides, that the support group alone cannot hope to accomplish.

If the parent continues to flounder after this underhanded attempt to ‘guilt’ them into paying for IOP, then the counselor will usually back down and explain that while he feels the support group (just meetings and functions) is at this point a ‘disservice’ to the child, if that is all they can do then that’s the route they’ll go. He convinces the parent to attend parent meetings and functions rigorously for at least 30 days (same commitment as the kid), and thanks them for their time.

None of this ends here, of course. After the parent has left, this is what a ‘good’ counselor does:

He offers the name of the parent to either the ‘parent coordinator’ or a trusted parent on steering committee. He tells them that he felt as though the kid really needed IOP, but Mom/Dad couldn’t afford it or was skeptical of the idea, and that he would like this ICECAP parent to ‘work on them’. As the ‘intervention’ parent continues to attend parent meetings, they are relentlessly pushed by other parents at the direction of the parent coordinator to figure out a way to get their son/daughter into IOP.

Meanwhile, the kid is going to meetings and being told by other kids that he/she should go into IOP…that it is the ‘coolest’, and you really get the ‘gnarly’ shit about the group in IOP. This will turn from innocent prodding to downright peer pressure very quickly, and eventually the kid is going home and asking, sometimes begging mom/dad to get them in IOP.

If by now the parent is still not willing to do the $6,000 dollar shuffle, what usually occurs is sad and much of what continues to anger me about ICECAP’s tactics. The counselor will keep tabs with the parent, keeping them updated and developing a ‘relationship’ with the parent. Often, this is what goes down: The kid feels so much pressure from both staff and peers to attend IOP that he/she will quickly realize (usually with the help of the counselor), the reasons why he/she cannot go. Kids aren’t stupid, and Billy knows that either mom doesn’t think his problem is serious enough, or she just isn’t willing to call up grandpa for the dough. So he goes out and gets high one night.

The counselor, of course is ALL OVER THIS ‘relapse’, and schedules an appointment immediately with the family. After 30 minutes of what pretty much amounts to ‘I told ya so’ from the counselor, the parent takes out a second mortgage or calls up grandpa or takes out a line of credit and coughs up the $6,000 for outpatient.

ICECAP staff would argue that these are merely ‘imperative measures’ to take in order to ‘help this kid get better’, to ‘save his/her life’. I argue that this is a carefully constructed sequence of manipulation to paint a false picture of a fairly normal kid as a ‘dope fiend’ in order to sucker well-off families out of six grand.

The ‘clueless’ parent is dealt with in almost the same way, except the counselor must first instill the fear into the parents who have ‘no idea’ that their kid is so ‘sucked in to the world of drug and alcohol abuse’.

I challenge anyone to tell me the story of the family who was told: ‘Your kid really doesn’t have much of an issue. He/she could probably be a bit wiser about what friends they choose, maybe come to some meetings and see a more positive lifestyle…but really they don’t need intensive treatment from us…’ by ICECAP.

The only instance that I can think of in the ten years I was involved with ICECAP, was that of a young man who convincingly conveyed to everyone that he truly was a non-abuser, and that he simply went to a meeting to see a friend. IOP was not pushed on to this kid or his family, but being on staff at the time, I can tell you that the idea to somehow worm this kid into treatment was definitely kicked around.

I went into this aspect of ICECAP as the first part to a series about the structure of ICECAP and its functions. The intent is to provide sound knowledge and information to potential or current clients of ICECAP. The reason I wanted to expose this particular area of ICECAP’s doctrine first is because I believe that there are more clients there who fall into this school of thought than any other. These are the kids who aren’t quite ‘non-abusers’ as ICECAP would like to call them, but certainly aren’t ‘dope fiends’ as ICECAP would have you believe.

Next I intend to focus on the consequences of these manipulative tactics. Where’s the harm? If they never are at one of those high school parties ever again and spend the next two to five years of their lives steeped in the principals of love, patience and understanding…then what’s so bad about it?

PLENTY.

To be continued…

[cardentist]

I’ve been seeing people ask about the age gap between moomin and snufkin for a little while now, with some people going so far as to label it pedophilia outright.  I responded to someone asking about it politely recently and I think I went over it in enough detail and with enough sources that making it it’s own post could do some good.

that said, that’ll only work if people are actually able to see it in the tags, which won’t happen if tumblr knows that there are links. so to get around that I’m going to put parenthesis around the dots in all of the links and bold them, like this: staff (.) tumblr (.) com if you want to get around that then my original response is here:  cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/185261475458

but alright, here we go first off, snufkin is canonically younger than little my ! from the official moomin website: Snufkin is Little My’s younger half brother – Little My is older than Moomintroll, Sniff and Snufkin, whose parents only meet each other when Little My is already born. moomin (.) com/en/blog/snufkins-family-tree/ with that in mind, I don’t see many people question whether little my is on the same footing as moomin emotionally (even though she’s the most likely to be significantly older than moomin jdlksj) so it's strange that people do it for snufkin

as for snufkin’s age in relation to moomintroll there are a few things to consider first being snufkin’s backstory that’s revealed in moominpappa’s memoirs, that being that his father (the joxter) met his mother (the mymble) around the same time that moominpappa met moominmamma and sniff’s parents (the muddler and the fuzzy) met, with little my having already been born this already makes it far more likely that snufkin is around the same age as moomin, but that’s further hammered home by how snufkin is portrayed and treated in the novel itself. he’s very much on equal footing with the other kids in behavior and is actively treated the same as the other kids by moominpappa, he even refers to snufkin that way ! he’s also very much so engrossed with the joxter, taking pride in the similarities between him and his dad, insisting that moominpappa only tell him the truth about the joxter, and occasionally referring to the joxter as his “daddy,” all of which are pretty heavily coded as being childish, or at the very least as not being as jaded as an adult in his position might be I’m sending the screenshots as links for size conservation: imgur (.) com/RD8xCWz imgur (.) com/LJYmo58 imgur (.) com/lerDoUA

overall it’s pretty clear that snufkin is being put on the same level as moomin and the rest of his friends by moominpappa, and snufkin himself views moominpappa and joxter as adult figures

the second thing to consider is that ! snufkin’s relationship with moomin would be, Really Really Weird if there was a significant age gap, even when viewed platonically. and I mean this both from the perspective of us observing it from the outside and from the adults in universe not having any qualms with it

for instance, the first winter after moomin and snufkin met they hibernated together, with moomin’s room even being officially recognized as also being snufkin’s room !

moreover, they’ve outright slept in the same bed together in the 90s anime during a sleepover

the moomins are an absurdly nice and welcoming family, but letting a grown adult man sleep next to their child for three months after they’ve only just met him this summer is a bit much even for them fjksld

it’s also worth noting that it’s made clear that their relationship is just as important to snufkin as it is to moomin. they both view each other as their best friends, which would be weird for a child to feel about an adult but just, Way Too Uncomfortable for an adult to feel about a child. the fact that snufkin relies on moomin just as much as moomin relies on snufkin is more or less the lesson he learns in moominvalley in november kjflsd, which there’s an excellent analysis of here: milky-red (.) tumblr (.) com/post/184933769573

then there’s also the spring tune, which I’ll admit I’m more familiar with the 2019 adaptation than the original, but they both exist somewhere along the extended moomin canon so fkljsd it’s more or less all about snufkin’s need to be alone vs his need to be with other people, or more specifically with moomintroll. while he doesn’t outright acknowledge it, not yet, his need to be with moomintroll is just that, it’s become a part of his nature just like his need to wander and his need for solitude, and one that he’s trying to come to terms with

in the 2019 adaptation snufkin outright hallucinated moomin telling him that it was okay that he wasn’t ready to come back yet, all while holding snowdrops, flowers that snorkmaiden would later tell moomintroll “herald the return of loved ones” while the 2019 version definitely leans into snufkin being more outwardly emotional, it’s also worth noting that the part of the novel this scene is referencing is well, I mean look at it kjfsld

and then of course the argument with teety-woo the 2019 adaptation puts a lot of emphasis on snufkin being physically uncomfortable around teety-woo, uncomfortable with having company at all and with how forward they are. this is especially notable as it’s something that comes up later in snufkin and the park keeper, where he ditches moomin at a party and then has to take time for himself. both because he needs to cool off after being overstimulated/overwhelmed at the party and because he very actively feels guilty over leaving moomin, though he doesn’t admit that fact outright. this is especially driven home when moomin comes up with the plan to break snufkin out of jail, as when he chooses a punishment for snufkin we’re shown a flashback to the party and snufkin says “I suppose it’s all I really deserve.” he not only thinks that moomin is punishing him for leaving him but actively accepts that it’s his fault for needing to leave him, or perhaps just for leaving without saying anything

with that in mind, it’s especially worth noting that snufkin’s lines about being able to go back to moominvalley whenever he wants and that maybe he won’t go back at all are lead up to by teety-woo riling snufkin up by invading his space and ignoring his body language to the point of very genuinely upsetting snufkin, and then is punctuated by teety-woo bringing up that it would hurt moomintroll. and when the argument has wound down and he’s come back out to play for teety-woo and sees that they’re gone it’s pretty obvious from his tone and facial expression that he regrets snapping at them, most likely feeling that he’s driven them away

this is then followed by snufkin feeling physically ill from loneliness, him desperately looking for teety-woo, and the nightmare sequence. which, is very explicitly about his fear of being both forgotten and replaced, not just in moominvalley but by moomin specifically the scene even goes so far as to have snufkin abandon his harmonica, his very excuse for not having gone back to the valley in the first place

while he’s afraid of losing his nature, of losing his freedom, the idea of moomin pulling away from him scares him even more.

moomin is an incredibly important part of snufkin’s life, one that he’s had to learn how to tailor his previous lifestyle around. one that he finds worth changing how he lives his life over. while it’s certainly not entirely out of the ordinary for an adult to have some kind of positive relationship with a child, enjoying their company and enjoying acting as a mentor, for an adult to emotionally rely this heavily on a child would just be, inappropriate and unhealthy for both parties

none of this even getting into the fact that their relationship is pretty heavily queer coded ! I, would probably go on for far far too long and there’s more that I wanna get into (and the links themselves are gonna take up more than enough room) so here’s links to references and analysis of a queer reading for these characters both in and out of universe ! moomin (.) com/en/blog/who-inspired-tove-when-creating-snufkin/ cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/184309504683 cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/184352468223 cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/184529809803 cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/184126897018 cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/184305305518 cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/185023635288 cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/18424873269 jamiewoolleyart (.) tumblr (.) com/post/185073023200 cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/185066154973 cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/185199096163 I don’t think I need to go over why an age gap between these two would be uncomfortable under the lens of them being queer coded. though with that in mind,  it’s worth noting that snorkmaiden has been depicted as thinking that snufkin is cute or flirting with him in both the comics and the 1990s anime cardentist (.) tumblr (.) com/post/184569294298 imgur (.) com/7EDJ9Rt

the anime has more leeway in that snufkin is more or less just playing along while she’s having memory issues, it wouldn’t be too strange if snufkin were older than snorkmaiden here. but in the comic snufkin blushing and being “wooed” is the Punchline. the comics are more adult sure, but I don’t think tove would just casually make jokes about pedophilia 

thirdly, I think that ultimately snufkin only comes off as more worldly because his upbringing was so dramatically different from moomin’s ! all we know for sure about his past is that he was abandoned when he was very small, so small that he didn’t have any memories of the mymble or his other siblings

it’s possible that he was raised by somebody for a short time, but it’s never mentioned in canon and he certainly wasn’t raised there for long. snufkin had to grow up faster than moomin did simply for the fact that he had no one to take care of him, and his worldliness stems from having more life experience than someone his age usually would and from independence being both a need for his survival and ultimately something he didn’t get to choose for himself at the start, even if it’s what he wanted for himself later

and ! for my final point ! the ages for the moomin characters, while generally consistent with their relationships to each other, are not set in stone. they’re heavily implied to be different depending on which versions you look at, both between adaptations and between the novels and comics and sometimes the novels themselves. tove played around with canon as she pleased jfklsd

the comics especially have no qualms showing moomintroll smoking and drinking, getting in fights over snorkmaiden’s hand, and just overall being more adult, which isn’t too shocking since the comics were more adult oriented, as I mentioned earlier

moreover ! it’s more or less canon that moomin is outright an adult in moominvalley 2019, as the team has said that this version of moomin was supposed to be older, he’s very much so voiced by an adult who is using an adult voice, and he outright calls himself an adult moomin in the show !

so it’s very likely that moomin is, at the very least, a late teenager to young adult in much of canon, with snufkin being close in age

feel free to add onto this with more analysis and sources if you have them and the time !

[fayevalcntine]

10 comfort movies

I was tagged by @missismess to list my top 10 comfort movies (idk how the wildcard works but eh). I'll be honest, I don't think my mind can really even remember ten movies that I rewatch to count as 'comfort', so I'll just list the number of movies that I can remember that I used to love a lot and would rewatch frequently.

Peter Pan (1953)

This was a definite favorite of mine when I was in middle school. I would later become obsessed with the Peter Pan lore/story, and the 2007 live-action one is another favorite that I rewatched scenes endlessly of. I still have very fond memories of both versions, and while I haven't gotten the chance to rewatch Hook, I still loved how unusual it was. I know that that one is pretty ridiculed for its casting and story, but idc. It's the exact sort of cheesy ridiculous 80s adventure movie that I am into.

Robin Hood (1973)

Another favorite!! There's so many different versions/interpretations of the Robin Hood story, and I have watched a good amount of them (the Kevin Costner one is another favorite of mine that I like), but Disney's animated one is an incredibly lighthearted version that would always make me laugh. The fact that the characters are animals of course helps, and I fell in love with this version's Robin and Marian

The Mummy (1999)

This movie has its own set of flaws, I can easily admit that, despite most of the people on this website trying to make it seem unproblematic. But I still love it for its humor and adventurous themes. I rewatched it endlessly when I was a teen. Also, Oded Fehr. I should try and look up any non-American productions that he's done, since it's fair to assume many (if not all) of his American ones are likely very limited (and stereotypically cast) roles :/

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Kind of a weird pick, I know, since it's definitely the more "darker" one of the trilogy, but it still leaves us with a glimmer of hope at the end. Without a doubt my favorite one of the OT, even though Return of The Jedi features my favorite development for Luke, as well as many other revelations that I will defend when it comes to ROTJ.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

I'll be honest with you, Tim Burton's newer productions just feel like they lack the heart and originality that many of his older projects had. It also doesn't help that he's soured over for me after he basically admitted that he can't seem to imagine a more diverse cast in his stories. But Nightmare Before Christmas is one that I still have fond memories of, and is an animated movie that is definitely more original than others. The ending song with Sally and Jack was the pinnacle of romance for me, lol.

An American Werewolf in London (1981)

A horror movie isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you think of "comfort", but there's something so funny and a little bit comforting about this movie, despite its sad ending, for me. It helps that the protagonist David is overall an average guy who's stuck in a really terrible situation, and the way the movie portrays his grief and conflict over his current state just gives the story a heartfelt feeling for me, which is something that horror movies mostly lack. Also, the makeup effects are incredible for an 80s flick, and many newer werewolf flicks that use CGI just lack the complete realness that practical effects have in this movie.

Thirst (2009)

Idek what I'm doing here lol, but this is a more recent watch that I keep coming back to. It's another horror movie, but one that honestly makes me laugh in a lot of scenes. The vampire lore is something that I'm always interested in, and the fact that this movie is basically an adaptation of Therese Raquin but with vampires makes it even more fun. I know why the main protagonist is the priest, though I personally would've loved to see a version of this story from Tae-ju's perspective.

Three Colors: Red (1994)

Another more recent watch that I just love. It's not really a "comfort" movie, but the main dynamic between Valentine and The Judge is so compelling, and Valentine herself is such a more hopeful person. Her character just makes the film for me.

That's about all that I can think of. If anyone wants to do this, I definitely ask that you do.

[blaugreen]

Nine Albums Later, Tegan and Sara Are Finally Ready to Discuss High School

In a new memoir and an album of songs they wrote as teenagers, the feminist pop stars look back at their traumas, triumphs and life as identical twins.

By Jenn Pelly and Liz Pelly Sept. 24, 2019 Updated 6:33 p.m. ET

To be a twin can be a psychological house of mirrors. And so where better to meet up with Tegan and Sara Quin — feminist pop heroes, freshly minted authors, and, like us, identical twins — than at a kaleidoscopic infinity room in Chelsea? As we left the small mirrored room at the kitschy Museum of Illusions, where our likenesses warped and refracted, we encountered a third set of twins. Reality grew ever more psychedelic, and we snapped a photograph of the six of us to commemorate it.

In their new memoir, “High School,” the Quin sisters alternate chapters to detail their teenage years. Growing up in Canada, they worshiped Nirvana, Green Day and the Smashing Pumpkins. They discovered and explored their sexuality. They sneaked out to raves, dropped acid, fought authority. When a classmate spewed homophobic statements during a lesson on STDs, Sara hurled a chair across the room. In the end, the twins competed in a life-changing battle of the bands. “If we don’t win tonight,” Tegan said onstage, “our mom is going to make us go to college.” They won.

While gathering their research for the book, Tegan and Sara found cassettes of some of their earliest songs. And so “High School” is accompanied by a new album, “Hey, I’m Just Like You,” featuring polished-up re-workings of those unearthed demos. Some of the songs evoke the ’90s indie pop of the band’s Lilith Fair era, while others could be the seeds of electronic-dance bangers. The connective thread is the unguarded emotionality of a teenage perspective.

This multimedia set is yet more experimentation from a band that, across nine albums, has moved from folky indie rock into synth-driven dance tracks and mainstream pop. Tegan and Sara sang “Everything Is Awesome” (“The Lego Movie” theme song) at the 2015 Oscars, and have performed with Taylor Swift. In 2016 they launched their Tegan and Sara Foundation, to benefit organizations committed to health, economic justice and representation for L.G.B.T.Q. girls and women.

During a conversation at a downtown cafe, Tegan was forthright and unapologetic, while Sara was analytical, using an app to astrologically survey our twin-by-twin dynamic. They frequently chipped at each other’s memories and perspectives to hone the truth and soon turned the questions on us: Did we feel ever competitive with each another, or encroached upon, as twins with the same career? These are excerpts from the conversation.

JENN PELLY As identical twins, we have strengths and weaknesses that are different but complementary. I often think: If you put us back together, we would be a perfect person. Do you relate?

TEGAN AND SARA QUIN 100 percent.

SARA I wouldn’t be as extreme, if Tegan wasn’t Tegan. I would have balanced myself differently. When Tegan would go through a dark stage, and be a little more chaotic, I would straighten up and be more disciplined. When Tegan went through a punk stage and started getting tattoos everywhere, I was like, I’m going to wear tailored clothing.

LIZ PELLY I think some twins learn early on that collaboration requires compromise and patience.

SARA A lot of people will say, “I have mommy issues” or “daddy issues.” I have Tegan issues. A lot of my hangups or dysfunctions in relationships are based on our primary relationship as children — what worked for us, what didn’t, how difficult it was to share the same face.

Most people sort of break up with their mom or their dad when they go out into the world and become adults. With us, it’s like we broke up, but decided to co-parent our music career.

TEGAN I believe there is a deep desire in Sara to define herself outside of this duo, like she’s cutting off an appendage. It’s not sad for me anymore, but it was at first. We are better together. Our songs are more developed together, and we stand out in a crowd together. It’s very complicated, to want to sever and tether at the same time, this mix of emotions that’s feuding inside of you at all times: We desperately want to be apart, and be our own people, but I need her to thrive and survive.

JENN Explain the mirror on the cover of “High School.”

TEGAN The mirror is distorted, and so is our perception of ourselves, and of the past, and of each other. In writing the book, it was like: That’s what you remember? That’s what you thought was happening? Over the years, I’ve realized there’s this unfair weight put on our shoulders to represent both of us. It’s a psychic burden; you’re responsible for each other.

JENN One passage that shocked me was when you discover you’ve both been playing music alone. Liz and I talk about cryptophasia a lot, a secret language that some twins share. Is that how it felt?

SARA When I discovered the guitar, I didn’t need to know Tegan was also discovering the guitar. When I figured out I was attracted to my best friend, I just assumed Tegan was figuring out she was attracted to her best friend. I assumed there was this parallel experience happening at all times.

TEGAN I was shocked you had been doing the same things.

SARA Discovering the guitar and writing songs felt like an epiphany, like a miracle. I had been so bad at so many things. This was the one time in my life I picked something up, and I knew how to do it. It felt like a gift, like it saved me. I wanted to protect that for a second, in that little tiny moment where I was doing it alone. But playing with Tegan, I knew it was bigger and better and more special and more seductive to people.

JENN You write about not fitting in with the punks, while also offending people in school because of the way you dressed, like outsiders among outsiders. Did you embolden each other?

SARA I felt alienated at punk shows. I walked in with that chip on my shoulder — “I don’t belong” — and Tegan threw her bag on the wall, walked into the pit, banged her head and thrashed.

TEGAN I always felt, if you want to be in that room, go in that room. If you want to be invited there, go. If you want to be a part of things, be a part.

JENN I wonder if some of this confidence comes from having a built in support system — the us against the world type thing.

TEGAN I never needed an external source to inspire me. It’s inside of me. I want to make my own rules. I don’t want to ask permission. There were long stretches of our career where I felt Sara dwelled on meaningless things. But she was finding a way to work through, and I worked my way around.

There were certain criticisms made of us, early on, that felt unfair. They did not feel like musical criticisms. They felt borderline or blatantly misogynist. My reaction was to design a T-shirt with all of the quotes — Spin magazine: “Wicca-folk nightmare.” Pitchfork: “Tampon rock.” I wanted to sell it on our website, and embrace the part of our history that made us as tough as we are now — not hardened, not bitter, but thrilled to be a part of this still. Because we got around it, and she got through it, and we’re still here.

SARA I always had a more institutional perspective. It wasn’t “tampon rock” that bothered me, it was sexism that bothered me. It was homophobia that bothered me.

The only reason I’m still making music, in this band, is because Tegan was championing me and cheering me on and trying to get me past these obstacles. But I didn’t feel sorry for myself. I felt furious at the industry, at the institutions that were inherently flawed and discriminatory. Even as a young person, I thought: If we’re the ones making it, and I feel this bad, Jesus, what does it feel like to be the artist that isn’t breaking through? I appreciated Tegan going around the obstacles, but I was like: I want to put dynamite under the obstacle and blow it up. We really have struggled with that dynamic.

A lot of that was planted early in our lives. Tegan’s coming out story is so different. She didn’t face the same type of homophobia. She didn’t have the same type of trauma as I did. Tegan holds her girlfriend’s hand on the street. I don’t. I’m afraid. I don’t care how big WorldPride is or how many cool new queer artists are on the covers of magazines. My experience informed how I react to the world. And that sometimes is hard to reconcile.

JENN I was thinking about your song “Nineteen” from “The Con,” which also describes your teenage years. Do you feel you’ve been reflecting on this part of your life for a while now?

TEGAN When we started talking about other songs that could be included [on our upcoming tour], the first song I thought of was “Nineteen.” I thought about how much of our music harkens back to that high school period. We’ve been diminished over and over throughout our careers for only writing love songs. But what we were really writing about was relationships, including the ones with ourselves — about family, friends, work. You talk about everything when you’re talking about relationships. There’s something about tethering the old songs to the modern age that becomes very cinematic for me. It starts to tell a bigger story.

LIZ You’ve described “You Go Away and I Don’t Mind,” from the new album, as being about the futility of fame. What is it like to reflect on that now that you are famous?

SARA I think that is the most strangely prophetic song. It was very surreal to read those lyrics all of these years later. Because for me, it’s very coherent. Since we were little, we had drawn undeserved or unearned attention. We would go to the mall as little kids and people would touch us. And that’s very disorienting and destabilizing as a young person. I think we did feel popular but it felt false. And in a lot of ways that echoes what it feels like to be famous or to be a celebrity in some ways. It can feel very empty.

JENN In part of the book, a friend’s brother asks you to jam, and you talk about how badly you wanted to be taken seriously. Was there a point in which you finally felt like you were taken seriously?

TEGAN To this day there’s a part of us that doesn’t feel like we’ve been taken that seriously, and I think all women probably feel that way. But we’ve now spent the majority of our adult life doing the thing we love, and we’re approached every day by people who are like, “I exist because of you.” Things like the Grammys become less important when you have an entire generation of people who are grateful you were bold and open about being gay before it was cool.

SARA We want journalists and fans, and culture at large, to reconcile how we see young women as artists — and when we begin seeing art as valuable. With our new songs, there are going to be people who say, “Oh, isn’t it cute? They released songs from when they were in high school.” But we want this music to be taken seriously. Not because we’re 38 years old and rerecording these songs, but because we were 15, 16 and 17 years old when we wrote them. And as 38-year-old women who have been around the world, who have experienced so much, I still think there is value in what I had to say. I went back and listened to that music and decided it is valuable.

TEGAN Actually I did first and then you did two months later.

SARA We are challenging people to see this work as sophisticated and mature and ahead of its time.

When we were teenagers, our music was written about as “rudimentary, but geez, there is something there.” It wasn’t rudimentary. There was something remarkable about what we were trying to say. There is something so profound about your first experiences. I fell in love multiple times. I was depressed. I was suicidal. I was passionate. I fought with my mother. I broke up with my sister. Those are some of the biggest moments of my life. How am I supposed to just write them off, like, “Oh who cares, I was a teenager.”

LIZ We’re taught that thinking in an emotionally-charged way is something for your teenage years. But actually, that sort of emotional intensity is powerful to carry with you throughout your life.

SARA I have a visceral memory of sitting down to write the song “Hello” at the end of grade 12. I had been devastated by this girl, Zoe, in the book — I loved her, and she was like, “I don’t like girls.” I was grappling with all of these big things. And I remember thinking, “I wish I was older. I wish I knew how to get through this.” I’m 38 years old, and every time I sing that line, I feel that right now. I wish I knew how to do this better. I don’t understand why I’m still suffering. I don’t understand why I’m still not better.

TEGAN It’s powerful to acknowledge that you don’t have all of the answers yet.

SARA When I sat down and listened to the demos, I just thought: I’m so glad little Tegan and Sara wrote all this music. They were better at addressing my feelings than I am right now.

[artdjgblog]

Innerview: Ercan Ucer / Grafik Tasarim (Turkey) October 2008 Image: Giphy Note: Take #2 of a design magazine interview.

​0​1) How do you name yourself other than being a versatile designer? In the past year and a half I’ve come to realize that I’m not really a graphic designer. It’s definitely in there and will always be because design is a poison, like any vocation or skill can be. But, I’ve always approached the way I work as an artist first, and I don’t fancy myself an artist either. I am what I am, though I can’t always be so selfish. Am I an illustrator? I guess there is a collision of the three. Add this to a love for getting my hands dirty, plus a celebration of youth and American pop-culture mixed with Eastern European and post-WWII American Design – B.C. (Before Computer) and the product is me? “Versatile” is too defining of a word for me and way too classy. I simply like to say I make things. Each day is new and I haven’t a clue what I’m going to do. ​0​2) What is the relationship between marketing and your designing process at different areas? (poster, packaging, logo…etc) A design is a marketing tool, no doubt. I haven’t really worked on a large scale setting with this, but I have in terms of marketing on a small scale for rock concerts and prospective CD buyers. Though, a designer plays eye-grabber, a designer is not really a marketer, but I guess it helps to attract attention or sell something. I had friends in college who studied marketing as well as design and they’d probably be more equipped to answering this question. It’s an area I’m not familiar with other than thinking of ways to attract people to get excited for a musical group, a sound, feeling or expression by way of putting a stamp on a poster, CD or logo design. It is a marketing tool especially when working with a client. It certainly is not only what the artist-designer can bring to the “product” (Though, I do think this can apply at a certain larger level with selling something), you’re also working for somebody and trying to sell an image or an item. In the case of a show poster, you’re selling a concert venue or the place the poster is hanging or even the music scene and the city and environment. I think this can be a tricky walk. I’ve been fortunate to have some small success with great clients and great projects to where things work out well. I guess it helps that independent music graphics kind of start out in left field to begin with, to where they are approached more like an art project than a product? Though, I don’t think that the work should not limit itself to a certain kind of audience. I think it’s great when the work speaks to anybody. There are times though where things don’t mix well, whether under the weather by design, client-wise or consumer. It’s just part of the deal. The work isn’t always going to be a homerun. Another deal is the way people interact with communication in marketing. Today I find that technology has a lot to do with people getting information for a rock concert via social networking sites, musician, ticket and concert venue sites. I don’t think that something like the poster will ever be dead, but technology can almost make a poster feel second-rate, a collector’s keep-sake and more for show than for the actual show. Logos are very interesting when it comes to marketing for bands because they are generally slapped onto many-many products. I’ve worked with a lot of music-related designs, but I’ve also made logos varying from a lawyer to an internet-computer company to a church before. So, these different applications encourage me to find new ways to talk to other audiences who come searching for something that isn’t entertainment, but I approach these designs with the same techniques and tools I use with the music graphics. I try to give something unique, and of a new take, to get a double-take. ​0​3) Can you tell us about your working environment and your different feelings or extraordinary events that inspires you? Ever since I was a child growing up on a farm, my working environment has been outside and especially in my bedroom. Working environments also extended to anyplace I had my eyes open. I certainly believe in a home base or comfort zone of operations, but a lot of my more thorough processing happens while out and about and then I bring it back home with me to make. Currently I work out of a basement in my home. I’ve constructed a work space out of wood found in the street. I call it my “club house”. I love it down there despite my continual problem with having a work space that barely has room for me to work in! I collect and store a lot of things around me and still have a lot of my childhood things around me, along with piles and piles of supplies, research and things I’ve found or see the potential in for a future use. I have a mind-set that if I can’t use it today, I can easily use it in 50 years. I’m a major fan of extraordinary events and tend to find humorous and peculiar ones to be more my taste, and more-so in retrospect of the event. I feel to be blessed with a certain quality that attracts odd circumstances, or maybe it’s all in my head? Extraordinary has its own brand of “something”, but more often I find inspiration in places, events and things that are fairly run-of-the-mill and everyday ordinary for anyone, which can give them an added cushion of “extra” for me. On my website I’ve made a list of my history, the things that have been the everyday ordinary for me, but might seem very out of ordinary to others. It all depends on perspective and where you’ve been. ​0​4) When did you discover the impulse that led you being a designer? This impulse to leave behind a paper trail of some sort on my impression has always been kicking around in me. I didn’t fully know it at the time, but I believe it started when I was young as I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t doing or making something. It’s a large part of my make-up. Much of it has to do with my farming background and watching my Dad and his Dad and others always doing or working on something whether it was building fences, planting crops or tending animals. I also owe a lot to my Grandma, for her hands-on making skills and to my parents for allowing me to grow-up fully plugged into the American pop-culture of books, toys, music, movies, video games and sports. Now, I just feed off of my former self and continue to feed for the future. It’s not work to me when it truly works and I enjoy myself. ​0​5)  Is looking at life always from a different angel, the designer’s necessarily ego? Most any area of most any job, skill, talent, business doesn’t come without some ego hurdling. The ego is amped further within the arts. Inflated achievement comes with ease when your voice gets a little loud in a “scene” or beyond. I’d like to think I’m fairly grounded, but it’s hard not to feel the eggs weight the other side when I’m told I could be sitting on a couple of golden ones. Working a day job can help matters, but it can also be a nightmare with time management. I have to just tell myself that I am a man and a man who happens to make things. Still, that can be hard. It doesn’t mean that I’m better than somebody or am a “somebody” because I’ve found a certain something within me. I just enjoy my life and feel very fortunate to even know what I want to do with it. I think one needs healthy doses of reality and a whole heap of humor to make it too. Besides, I have no answers. If you know somebody with it all figured out, have them call me! What helps me is to find comfort and ease is venturing back into my child manner. I’m much more content and find peace when I’m either looking at the world through a certain lense that I might qualify for, or just making and enjoying the act of celebration in creativity. The moment I start to think too much about it all or answer questions, that is when it can get a little dangerous in the head. I’d like to think gaining wisdom through age and maturity helps. I know that my energy and will-power have died some, and of late I’m leaning on this as a benefit. I think I say and do some dumb stuff today, though I’m positive it’s a little less than yesterday! ​0​6) Can you inform us about graphic design’ s one of the important field, package design and your sketches? / Tell me about the sketching and process of packaging. There is a certain amount of image longevity that becomes attached to packaging. I’m not experienced in much more than musical CD packaging, but I think a long life span especially applies to this in the iconic halls of pop-culture, even on small levels. Though, that’s not the reason to put into making something and/or package something but if you can add some meaty eye candy, then so be it. I love poster design because there are endless possibilities to exhaust, many ways to work reach-and-grab-of-the-moment and intuitive, and if something doesn’t work all-around, it’s throw-away and will die soon like house flies. CDs are so different, at least for me, and they can be quite intimidating and intoxicating. Sometimes another designer’s great CD package makes me not wish to do another one, and in a good way! With my own process, I do a little bit of sketching, but more-so the process and evolution of the CD package is the sketching for me. If I’m rewarded with an ample amount of time to work on a CD I usually make it happen in three different sessions, or what I call “incubation stages”. This allows me time to sit on ideas and to come back to them with fresh perspective and clear head, to play or spin off ideas and avenues. When figuring out an image or “look” for an album, I like to at least digest the music or get a track listing. With the way in which I work, I tend to feed off of my day-to-day (sometimes minute-to-minute) emotional handy work. It can be a little strange though as I can easily obsess over wondering the what-might-have-been with something like a CD package or anything. I think that a CD package for me can be extremely different given what day I’m at. I do believe my best packages have come down on me at the last minute, intuitively and usually on the lowest of budgets. And I mean cheap, major cheap. 0​7) What are the benefits of making global designs for the designer? I love a body of work, one that breathes and not only serves as a timeline for the maker, but also for views and observations on life itself. Ideas that can extend globally even, throughout time. I think that a great body of work can extend to anybody, anywhere in the world. And even if it is for some other body like a client, it is always from its original body of the creator. Anything that goes global is still connected to that first breath of singular life. Due to technology, it’s so much easier today to go “global” with designs, even if one does operate on a small scale. I think it’s great to put the work out there, to share, even if it’s not marking up or wrapping up a popular product. In today’s fast-paced world of millions and billions of images and things flashing, it really does mean a lot that my meager things have made it in some strange little way. Even, if it’s just a grin or a double-take by someone looking at a little poster on a wall or in a magazine or a global internet billboard or world-wide magazine and book distribution. Though, a part of me still likes to keep some things to myself. And I’m odd because I personally don’t like to attract attention to myself with graphics on the shirts I wear or product logos on bags and things. ​0​8) Can you explain the relationship between marketing and designing? I’m not sure if I was successful, but I tried to answer some of this in question 2. With this one I’ll try to wrap it into the way that I work, to where my designs act as marketing tools for me, as well as the product they are pushing. Until recently I’ve never had to market myself in conventional practice. For the first six years my work itself was the marketing. Everything from a poster to a package and a logo has been on the same level with causing a “Trickle Down / Word of Mouth” marketing effect. And I’ve been fortunate to keep fairly close relationships with my clients due to a small industry I work in. These clients have brought other clients. For my first two years I was living and working with several bands in a house. I didn’t have to leave and would get new work constantly. At times I’d just make things before I was even asked. Some of the best marketing can come in poster making and that is how I started to gather some attention. Posters have a short shelf life in comparison to packaging and logos, so there is always a new one to tack up. And if a poster doesn’t succeed, then it’s easy to just make another one. It’s just a poster and practice is good. After a while people start getting curious and come looking for you. ​0​9) Does any of your designs have an unforgettable story? The “Whatever Makes You Happy” CD package design I made in my basement in June of 2002 for the band Elevator Division, is one of my most memorable moments. It was a special run of 250 handmade CD packages and my idea came at the last minute. I made an image of a hand shooting off its index finger like a missile that married the themes for the album perfectly, with reflections of war and failed relationships. It was the idea of shooting off one’s options and making decisions. It was fitting for the band-music but also for the national-world climate. Each one was hand-cut from cardboard and stencil sprayed and rubber stamped. Inserts were copied, cut, folded and glued. At the last mist of red spray paint, a crack of thunder shook the massive home’s foundation and I bolted from the basement and out the front door to a down pour of rain. I leapt off the front porch and slid head first down the front lawn embankment and into the street flowing like a river current. The drug dealing squatters of the home across the street were on their front step looking at the fire in my eyes and the red paint streaming from my ears, nose and mouth. It was a high much higher than that of chemical substance. -djg

[parabellum-rpg-archive]

Congratulations, Isabella! You’ve been accepted to play Dahlia Jessup. Please make your page and send it in within 24 hours.

Admin note: I absolutely cannot. This app was freakin’ beautiful! I was already captivated just reading the part where you describe her in your own words. I loved the little details like what she has her degree in and her mother’s response to it. I love how you dissecting her down to her desire to please, but didn’t limit her to that. I can say, 100%, I am soooooo excited to see you bring her to life on the dash! Welcome, welcome, welcome! - Admin C

IC INFORMATION —

CHARACTER DESIRED

Dahlia Jessup.

DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER IN YOUR OWN WORD

I think what defines Dahlia so visibly, is her abandonment issues. Her mommy issues. Her people pleasing. These are all very humanly understandable flaws, and I adore them. I love flawed characters, especially when they’re so relatable to the audience and the person portraying them. I think what makes her so special to me is that I resonate with her on a deeper level for my own personal reasons, but also because she’s filled with this amazing potential to either become a great heroine or an awful villain. She does a lot of things in the name of love & family, but who is she? Strip the girl bare, leave nothing but her heart and soul, and you’ll find that she becomes nothing. Because Dahlia needs and finds her sense of identity within her family, within others.

Of course, she’s more than that, but I think she hasn’t seen herself outside of other people’s perspectives. Perhaps she’s been too self-sacrificing in the name of family (hell, she even sacrificed her own morals to join the Sinclairs) and now she’s paying the price. There are so many sides and nuances to her, I would really love to explore it on a more thorough level.

WRITING SAMPLE

Her figure stands by the kitchen doorway. Hollow, quiet – almost non-existent in its own right. The then sixteen year-old Dahlia is left at a loss for words by her mother.

These are the moments where she catches a glimpse of her mother’s humanity: right after work, when she comes home hours into the night, dark circles and all. She knows Serena works hard, for the both of them, but sometimes Lia wishes she had a white picket fence kind of life, you know, the kind of life they show on television. The kind of life that probably doesn’t exist.

But she stands by the doorway looking at someone whose face is unfamiliar, yet still so ambiguously close to hers. It’s uncanny the resemblance that Dahlia and Serena share.. and as much as Dahlia hated herself for looking so much like her mother, she took some kind of comfort in knowing they shared at least one thing.

These are the moments in which she wishes she felt loved, felt wanted – anything.  “I– I missed you,” Dahlia whispers, like some kind of confession she could never speak of. Her mother nods, unable to look at her own daughter, and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and walks past her daughter.

“Did you hear me?” Dahlia inquires nearly defeated. “Mhmm?” Serena turns to her, in confusion. Either my mother is deaf, or simply out of tune with other people’s feelings, she realizes.

“I said I missed you, mom.” Dahlia gestures, empty handed.

Again, no response. It seems that the main focus of Serena’s attention lies on the television right now – or maybe she’s just pretending to watch the news. “Since when do you even watch TV?” Dahlia points out the obvious, but it’s unclear whether or not Serena bothers listening, simply turning off the television and walking out of the room, avoiding her daughter like the plague.

Silence falls upon them, like a soft numbing blanket caressing each and every word unspoken. Dahlia sits by the couch, unable to look at her mother any longer. Somehow they’ve become strangers and Lia knows she’s not the one to blame, but her heart dips a little further into guilt whenever Serena neglects her. It’s like she’ll never be enough. She’ll never know her mother. She’ll never be Serena’s daughter.

Tonight, she’ll take comfort in her metal science books, in her journals, in her midnight coffee.

Tonight, she’ll also probably cry herself to sleep while her mother leaves for work at 5am in the morning and won’t even notice her big, puffy eyes… but that’s the thing about Serena: even if she did notice it, she’d blame it on ‘teenage hormones’, instead of taking actual responsibility for her daughter’s constant paranoia of abandonment.

                                         ______________________

Hours later and Dahlia sits by the balcony, looking at her old photos like usual. Beside her, by the small wooden table, there’s a box of photographs and old dusty memories thrown into the abyss. Lia has taken it upon herself to sort out which ones are relevant and which are not, but in nights like these, she always winds up too emotional over these memories to ever ponder the idea of throwing out a picture or two.

She doesn’t remember her mother being this fond of her, this close. Pictures of Dahlia giggling, playing or simply smiling right beside her mother are all over the place, and what seems abnormal is that her mother doesn’t look consumed by work, or by life itself. She looks happy, proud… She looks like someone else.

But she doesn’t remember it at all. She lived through it, but she was only a baby… And memories? Memories are too important to lose, like pictures… So tonight, she’ll dig through anything she can find, and maybe she’ll find the father she never had, or perhaps someone to take her mother’s place. If anything, she’ll do whatever it takes.. For what’s left of her family, for herself.

EXTRAS

HEADCANONS:

Dahlia strikes me as the kind of person who’s a little too much of a people pleaser – when it comes down to the people she loves, she’ll go to extreme lengths to please them, earn their love, affection and approval. It goes without saying that Serena left a mother shaped hole in her heart, and without any kind of mother or father to look up to, she took on the role of the people pleaser to ensure she has a place in people’s hearts. It’s almost automatic, and it hurts her when people dislike her. Just the thought of being unwanted makes her skin crawl, triggering her anxiety to the point of having nightmares about her mother – and the father that she never had.

Her MBTI type is ENFJ, who’s also known as the giver amongst people. ENFJ’s are extremely loyal, loving and self-sacrificing to the point of no return. They are also very dedicated, connect easily with people and often forget about their own needs, putting others’ before their own. Because of their intuitive side, they’re excellent troubleshooters, and often ponder about the ‘what ifs’ (in Dahlia’s case, she thinks a lot about her future when it comes down to the consequences of her own actions, and how reckless it was of her to join her aunt’s shenanigans simply because she needed her approval). ENFJs can also be very crafty and artistic, and often can be very pessimistic and overly critical and logical under stress (when she realizes the damage of her actions).

She’s a Virgo. They are known to be perfectionists, logical, practical and very pragmatic. This excerpt taken from an astrology website showcases a lot of the traits Dahlia possesses:  Above all else, Virgos want to help. They are kind, gentle, and supportive friends and lovers who use their incredible intellect and resourcefulness to problem-solve. Virgo’s opposite sign, Pisces, offers guidance through spirituality, but Virgos want to assist on a practical level. These earth signs are always striving to provide workable solutions and improve broken systems. Methodical, committed, and hardworking.

Her Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw. I wasn’t sure if she’d fit into Gryffindor, but I think Ravenclaw encompasses her wit, her intellect and her detail-oriented personality. It’s very incredible to me that someone who’s a feeler (ENFJ) would also be so logical and pragmatic as a Ravenclaw. Dahlia is a fun, complex contradiction to write – and I’m very eager to explore how her head goes against her heart every time.

She has a degree in chemical engineering, specializing in copper, aluminium, iron and steel. Dahlia is a qualified Metallurgist, chemistry is her passion – and she goes to great lengths to ensure that she’s on the right path. Serena laughed about it to Dahlia’s face when she first told her mom she was going to be an engineer. To her, it was a ‘men only’ profession, and it broke her heart not to have her mother’s full support. She wanted to show her she could do it, she could become great, she could do something special. But even after graduating, her mother did not take her seriously.

I have crafted a proper pinterest board for Dahlia. I’m still in the process of organizing it and adding more pins to it, but the essentials are there. I also have a tag for Dahlia on my blog, which you can find by clicking here.

[robotlolita]

Learn how to make money online with HYIP

HYIP Tips Many people from all over the world are becoming successful in generating income online with high yield investment programs. As a matter of fact, some individuals also make it their primary income source that would sustain their demands. Nonetheless, for others it can be really difficult and also can also become their worst nightmare. Your success in the high yield financial investment market mainly depends upon your actions and also perspectives. This article will certainly provide some really valuable pointers along with the essential habits that should be created in order to be successful in this area. And for those who are running HYIP Programs, the HYIP Script will assist you to manage your hyip website and also the financial investments really quickly.

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HYIP Tips

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Beware and also check these HYIPs that you are planning to join. Before spending, you have to first understand important things about them such as some details on for how long they pay and what kinds of news they make.

One more thing that individuals must do that might serve in preventing rip-offs is to check out different sort of HYIP websites. Do not just go to the prominent ones, browse sites from the most effective ones to the worst. By doing so, you will have the ability to easily detect web sites who simply replicated the format and also discussion of another HYIP. Take correct safety measures in taking care of this sort of websites since in some cases, they are simply made to scam people. By being subjected to the different types of HYIPs, you will certainly also be able to contrast them and pick which one is worth your money. The amount of cash invested as well as initiative applied for a certain organisation endeavor and its marketing campaigns will provide you a concept about the objectives of that high return financial investment program. Besides that, to be thought about a quality HYIP, it ought to also have a reliable support service. You can check the top quality of the assistance service by trying to call the admin using email rather than engaging in an online chat with a third party. If they responded immediately, after that it suggests that they supply quality support solution. Last but not least, you can additionally compare the new HYIPs with those that are currently proven to be legit high yield investment programs and after that decide whether they are worth your money and time.

4. Do not be naive

Be reasonable and also do not anticipate to come to be a millionaire overnight without even benefiting it. As pointed out previously, if you want some fast as well as gravy train, HYIPs are except you. After a phone call or a nice conversation with someone from the administration, some individuals end up being comfortable and also relying on that they will swiftly start spending for that business. Think about it thoroughly and also try to not obtain fooled by good sales talk. Even if you do make money, you need to still remain mindful in the process. Scammers are really wise as well as they can consider numerous methods to take your money. If something is also excellent to be true, it probably is.

5. Diversify your financial investments.

Do not put all your eggs in one basket. By expanding your possessions in various type of organisation endeavors, you will certainly be able to minimize the danger of shedding all your cash. There are various ways on how to successfully diversify your money. One way is by selecting HYIPs with different payout plans. Some type of payout strategies consist of long-term, mid-term, or short-term. Other than that, you can additionally branch out by buying HYIPs with differing popularity, style, or approach. Take your time and develop a diversified selection of high quality HYIPs and simply ignore the negative ones.

6. Reward yourself

It is not bad to delight in the fruits of your investments. If you can, try to award yourself every month. The even more you experience the benefits of participating in the high return financial investment market, the much more you will be motivated to proceed. Parts of the profits that you will earn should be alloted to provide some convenience in your life. By doing this, you will have the ability to spend some time off and also make sensible financial investment choices. Generating income online with HYIPs might seem difficult and also challenging. Many individuals are reluctant to endeavor into this since it entails risks as well as by just one incorrect action, it is feasible to lose cash. Complying with the simple suggestions given in this short article and also having the best mindset will definitely take you a long way in coming to be effectively in earning money with HYIPs.

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Collapse Into Me Chapter 14 - Colossal

“Pound it!”  The heroes congratulated each other as the akuma reverted back to her normal self.  Charlese, a fellow student at their lycée, was a huge fan of Adrien, and had been akumatized after reading some rumors about his date with Marinette from a tabloid’s website.

Ladybug’s earrings beeped their third warning.  She unattached her yoyo from her hip and threw it in one swift motion.  “Bug out!”

“Ladybug, wait,” Chat called as he grabbed her by the arm.  “Can we meet up tonight, please?”

Ladybug was about to turn him down, but something in his eyes made her stop.  “Notre Dame. 10 p.m.”

Chat nodded and let go of her arm, allowing both heroes to leave before their identities were compromised.

---

Adrien walked out in front of the school, looking for Marinette.  He hadn’t seen her anywhere during the fight, and he wouldn’t feel better until he knew she was safe.  The akuma had wanted to turn Marinette and any other girl who so much as looked at Adrien into stone. He didn’t understand why this had happened.  He hasn’t seen any of the articles yet, but it couldn’t be bad enough to cause this, could it? Adrien had been in romantic settings with Chloe and Kagami before, and no akumas ever came of them.  What was it about Marinette that upset Charlese? Would dating Marinette lead to a string of jealous or vengeful akumas?

Adrien turned the corner and felt a weight slide off his shoulders when he saw Marinette walking toward him.  “Marinette,” he called, running to meet her and pulling her into a tight embrace. “There you are! I was looking all over for you.  The akuma was after you and I was so worried--”

“I’m fine, Adrien,” Marinette reassured him as she hugged him back, equally thankful to have him back.  “I hid back at the café and came back when I saw the magical ladybugs.”

Adrien let Marinette pull back, though he didn’t let go completely.  He suddenly felt a pain in his shoulder and realized Marinette had slapped him.  “What was that for?”

“That was for running toward the akuma battle,” she scolded him.  “I didn’t know if you were hurt or worse!”

“I’m sorry,” Adrien apologized, sincerity filling his voice.  “I was worried about Nino and Alya, and I knew you could handle yourself.  I didn’t think—”

“No, you didn’t,” Marinette interrupted, the tears she had been holding back all battle finally falling.  She had been worried sick when he ran into the school and toward the akuma. She had more than enough nightmares of him being in danger from Volpina, Gorizilla, and Style Queen.  Marinette wasn’t sure she could handle any more.

Marinette looked up at him, her blue eyes showing a mix of fear and anger.  “You don’t have a magic suit or superpowers to protect you, Adrien! Please, don’t run into danger again!  I don’t know what I would do if --”

Adrien pulled her back to him and held her as she sobbed.  He understood her feelings all too well, as he always felt the same when he saw her doing the same thing.  Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop running into danger because he was Chat Noir.

“I’ll try to remember that next time,” he whispered into her hair as she calmed down.  “We both have a tendency to run toward danger instead of away from it,” he felt her tense at his words.  “So, why don’t we both work on that, okay?”

Marinette nodded, even though she knew she would do it again.  She was Ladybug, after all, and had to protect Paris at all costs.  She just hoped the price wasn’t her relationship with Adrien.

---

Ladybug landed on the roof of Notre Dame’s North tower at 9:50 p.m., unsurprised to find Chat already there, sitting on the ledge with his feet dangling over the side, and looking out over the city.  She sat next to him and enjoyed the view, waiting to see if he would speak first.

After a few tense minutes of silence, her curiosity got the best of her.  “Hey Chat. What did you want to meet about? Is there something wrong?”

Chat finally turned to look at Ladybug.  “No, nothing’s wrong. I’m just trying to sort some things out.”

“Anything I can help with?”

Chat shook his head, then shrugged.  “Maybe. Can I ask you something without you getting upset?”

“Sure,” Ladybug said hesitantly.

“I just need to know how you feel about me.”  He saw her mask shift as she raised an eyebrow and her lips pressed together in a thin line.  He quickly elaborated. “I’m not asking so I can try to get you to date me or anything. I just thought it would be helpful for me to know where we stand with each other emotionally.”

Ladybug was still skeptical, but she decided to humor her partner.  “You are my best friend, Chat. You are the only one who knows what it’s like to be us and that is a bond that can never be broken.  I love you as a partner and a friend. I’d be devastated if I ever lost you, which is why it upsets me so much when you throw yourself in harm’s way like you mean nothing.  You mean so much to me, Chat Noir, and I would be lost without you.”

Chat nodded, but said nothing for a moment, choosing instead to think about what she had said.  “I understand, Ladybug, and I have to respect that. I’ve been trying to put my own feelings for you in perspective and hearing your words really helped.  I also love you as a partner and a friend, but I don’t think it goes any further than that.”

Ladybug’s eyes had grown wide as Chat spoke, not believing what she was hearing.  Chat was giving up on his pursuit of her? He as okay with being friends and partners, but nothing more?  After two years of countless professions of love from her kitty in black, his sudden change of heart gave her emotional whiplash.

“Is that why you’ve been distant lately, Chaton?”  She asked cautiously. It really wasn’t a smart idea to poke the sleeping bear, but she had to know.  She had noticed he had been acting out of character over the past few weeks, not making as many jokes or using her nicknames.  He wouldn’t stick around to try to talk to her after akuma fights, and hadn’t kissed her hand. It had bothered her, since she didn’t know why, but she knew he would come to her when he was ready to talk.

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “I had some things I needed to work through and being typical Chat wasn’t helping.”

“Oh,” Ladybug remarked, sadness heavy in that one word.  “Will things ever go back to the way they were?” It was Chat’s turn for the mask-raise and lip-press.  “I mean, while I don’t miss having to turn you down, I do miss the banter. It feels weird not hearing all the puns and nicknames.”

“What was that?”  Chat’s signature grin began to form on his face.  “Did I just hear Ladybug say she misses her silly kitty?

Ladybug rolled her eyes, “Yes, Chat.  I admit it. I miss the fun-loving kitty with his horribly timed puns.”  Before he could make some sly comment, she pressed a finger to his lips. “However, I’m dating someone now, so the flirting needs to be toned down, okay?”

Chat nodded as he pulled back from her finger, “ Purrfect, milady.  It just so happens that I also started dating someone recently, so I’m in the same situation as mew .”

Ladybug laughed and shook her head at his antics.  “There’s my Chaton,” she jested as she playfully nudged his shoulder, before tentatively resting her head on it. “So, we’re good?”

“Always, Bugaboo.”  Chat smiled as he placed his head on top of hers to watch their city for a bit.  He had been nervous to talk to Ladybug about the status of their relationship and was relieved that she had taken everything so well.  He was also happy that it was still okay to be his Chat-self.

After a few minutes, Chat sat up and stretched.  “Sorry, LB, but I gato go.  I still have some homework to do.”  Chat stood up and reached for his bo-staff.  Before he leapt off the building, he turned back to her with the sweetest smile.  “Congratulations on your relationship, LB. I hope he makes you the happiest girl in the world.”

She mirrored his smile.  “That means a lot, Chat Noir, thank you.”  She reached for her yoyo. “I hope she’s good to you, Chat.  You deserve to be happy.”

“I’m the happiest feline in Purris,” Chat replied with his signature two-finger salute and leapt into the night.