#Andor was never spoiled for me

[ariadnes-red-thread]

Tag your spoilers, people. I’m begging you. It’s a common courtesy.

[rinayeas]

Andor is so fucking good that it retroactively makes a trilogy of 40 year old movies BETTER holy shit

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 13

Howdy folks!!

This week I'm gonna throw in some series I've been reading that have probably been recc'd by me before. I did read a few things this week, but I'm like way behind on these series I've been reading, so I spent more time catching up on those. I also read The Ritual which was... an experience. Oh and if you tagged me in a fic and I didn't get to it I am so sorry!! I'll get there I promise.

And as always you can find the spreadsheet here and the Fic Rec Masterlist here.

Anyway! Recs below the slut Javi

What I Want - a Joel one shot by @proxima-writes

SUB JOEL!!!! Sometimes you need a strong, prideful, world weary man to whimper for you.

Trial and Error - a Joel/Tommy series by @thetriumphantpanda

Am I into breeding kink? No. Am I into making Tommy Miller watch Joel Miller rail me? Yes. I also love how into it everyone is. Someone in the comments said "What if Joel got a secret vasectomy" and like I know that is not true of this version of Joel, but like I also want it to keep not working.

I can see you (Javier's Version)- a Javi P one shot by @proxima-writes

I love a good file room fuck with Javi, so obviously this was just my style. I also love the way Javi gets all frustrated with the teasing. Him crumpling up that note UGHAGH. And then the way you ended it? I won't spoil it, but it made me giggle. I cannot believe you don't write Javi regularly. You nailed it.

Sacreligious - Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

Who doesn't love a little sacrilege in the morning? Fucking in the Mines of Mandalore sounds like a dream... as long as the mythosaur doesn't get you lmao

In Bloom - a Frankie series by @northernbluess

This. Fic. Is. So. Fucking. CUTE! I loved chapter one of course, but chapter two??? My heart UGH. Their date is so precious. And the smut... I have a daddy kink and refuse to be shamed for it THIS WAS SO HOT

a hungry dog on a very short leash - a Joel one shot by @iamasaddie

My Dark Joel Queen never fails to deliver <3 This was so fucking hot. The getting caught cheating thing... the semi-public sex as punishment/blackmail thing. YUMMY YUMMY!! Dead Dove and all that, read the warnings, (are the warnings supposed to turn you on? oops).

some rotten man - a Joel one shot by @iamasaddie

Zero Plot. Just a rough as fuck blowjob. Exactly what I needed... It's so good y'all.

What happens on Coruscant, Stays on Coruscant - a Din/Poe/Cassian one shot by @beskarandblasters

Look we all know the timeline here is a little fucked, but let's pretend they're all around the same age because... Din Djarin, Poe Dameron, and Cassian Andor walk into a brothel and spend the night with you... GOD DAMN that's hot

------- SERIES <333 -------

These are series I keep tabs on in a separate spreadsheet and check once a week to see if they've been updated. Most of these have been recommended before, but they deserve all the attention.

I know some people don't like to start reading WIPs before they're finished, and that is valid, but these are worth it. Oh and some are complete and I just haven't finished them yet. It's my personal spreadsheet so it's a little messy lol.

One Thing I'm Missing / Joel / @joelscruff

Seams / Joel/ @fuckyeahdindjarin

Palomino / Jack / @fuckyeahdindjarin

I Think of You / Din / @prolix-yuy

No Drug Like Me / Dieter / @jazzelsaur (AO3)

Friendly Fire / Joel / @the-ginger-hedge-witch

Psychomanteum / Dieter / @whatsnewalycat

You Make Loving Fun / Frankie / @redahlia-writes

Apothecary / Joel / @atinylittlepain

Losing My Religion / Din / @oonajaeadira

Surrender / Joel / @ezrasbirdie

Short Days, Long Nights / Joel / @frannyzooey

Left in Lincoln / Joel / @toxicanonymity

Dressed For Revenge / Joel / @jksprincess10

Cowboy Like Me / Javi P / @cutesyscreenname

Sweet Creature / Dieter / @wildemaven

Leave Off Your Wandering / Joel / @oonajaeadira

Stitches / Din / @djarinsbeskar

Feelings on Fire / Joel / @joelscruff

Hot and Heavy / Joel / @tieronecrush

Pretend Alleyways / Dieter/Marcus / @radiowallet

Run to You / Marcus P / @foli-vora

Learning to Live / Javi P / @wheresarizona

Raider / Joel / @toxicanonymity

Beskar Doll / Din / @justagalwhowrites

Lavender / Joel / @justagalwhowrites

Hungry Hearts / Joel / @atinylittlepain

June / Joel / @atinylittlepain

Your Summer Dream / Joel / @swiftispunk

Muddy Waters / Joel/Ez / @bonezone44

Adversity / Ez/Frankie / @the-ginger-hedge-witch

Sensational / Joel / @sinsofsummers

Night Walks / Joel / @toxicanonymity

Stepdad!Joel / Joel / @toxicanonymity

Yes I check all of these for updates every single Thursday, though I don't always read every single thing that updated. If you ever think no one cares about your WIP... I do!!!

---------------------------

Happy Reading!

[tobytost]

okay guys I'm watching Andor for the first time and I decided to organise my own wandor wednesday!!! I will watch one episode of andor every wednesday starting today

(I do not know nothing about Andor so please don't spoil me anything!!!)

so HAPPY THE FIRST WANDOR WEDNESDAY FOR ME!!!

my thoughts on the first episode:

it was a definition of when you decide to wake up early and do all of your chores you've been putting off

Andor just woke up and never stopped going. He has places to be, things to do, people to lie to and the law to run from. Wild that some people dont have executive dysfunction jfc

ALSO THERE ARE SO MANY BRITISH PPL LMAO

that imperial guard guy is fucking HAVING A DAY he's so dedicated to being a fascist look at him go

AND THAT GIRL IN YELLOW CLOTHES, WHO'S A MECHANIC I THINK?? ANDOR ASKED HER TO SELL SOMETHING FOR HIM RIGHT she's so cool

things sure did happen in the first episode, I didn't understood much, might rewatch it later, that was a really fast opening!!

my predictions for the next episode:

that girl in yellow is a rebel spy

andor is a rebel spy (DUH!!!) but maybe he's a Fulcrum

that imperial guard guy catches him

alternatively, that imperial guy dies

andor is captured by that guy???

[mosylufanfic]

The Assignment

Send me a prompt for NaNo!

This is the sequel/other POV of yesterday’s bodyguard story. Come on, you knew something was up.

The Assignment

His burner phone rang, and he answered it. "Willix."

"Willix," said the other end. "You have a client."

"Yes, sir."

"You'll report tomorrow to the address we'll send you via text."

"Sounds good, sir."

"You'll be guarding the daughter. But the father will be your client. And don't forget, DS Limited is your employer."

"Yes, sir."

"I find it's best to have all these distinctions made quite clear."

"I agree, sir."

"Will any of that be a problem?"

"No problem,'' he said, and thought of a pair of hot eyes in the lights of the club, sparking like the start of a forest fire. "No problem at all."

He ended the call.

Across the small panel van, Kay Tuesso, said, "Well, I suppose it was too much to hope that they'd state outright, 'you'll need to kill Jyn Erso if we tell you to."

"We can always hope," Cassian Andor said. "Anyway, we're playing the long game here. And we're not after DS Limited. We want Krennic."

Orson Krennic could be the first domino in a chain that would take down the Empire.

-

Two weeks earlier

Galen Erso had refused, point-blank, to do anything for Interpol unless his daughter was secure.

"She has a bodyguard," he said on the recorded phone call that Cassian's boss played back for his agents on the Erso case. "She's had them since she was little. Krennic hires them."

Nobody in the room needed to be told that the bodyguards were more like a knife to Jyn Erso's throat. 

"Her safety comes first," Erso said. "It always has and it always will. I'm sorry."

Draven shut the recording off. "Erso is in up to his neck," he said. "His information could take down Krennic, and Krennic is very high up in the Empire."

The secretive criminal organization was Draven's white whale, along with a good chunk of Interpol's organized crime division. Cassian had worked for him for seven years and this was the closest they'd ever come to something like a way in.

Erso wanted to help. He wanted to strike at the people who'd kept him a virtual prisoner for twenty-odd years. But you could put wanting in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one filled first.

"Andor," Draven said. "Tuesso. You're on the daughter. The Empire leverages Erso's cooperation by threatening her. She's the key."

"We could kill her," Kay suggested as they discussed possibilities later. 

"Are you talking about the daughter or her current bodyguard?" Cassian asked. It was a reasonable question. Kay could be very cold-blooded at times.

He considered it. "The bodyguard, I think," he finally concluded. "If we kill the daughter, we would remove that leverage, it’s true. But there's always the chance Erso could find out the truth and then we'll never get him to roll on the Empire."

"I think there's another way to go about it," Cassian said, frowning slightly into the distance. He smiled. "And this way, Erso can play the overprotective father, which seems to be the case anyway."

-

It took some doing, some hacking, some false information and falser recommendations, but he got himself on the books of the security firm that provided Jyn Erso's bodyguards. Several of them. She seemed to run through them, which could only make this easier. 

By all accounts, Jyn Erso was a spoiled brat who filled her life with clubbing and partying and occasionally smashing the curve in her uni program. Cassian wasn't looking forward to playing her bodyguard. 

He wasn't dreading it either. She was a job.

It was a job when he went to the hot, crowded, darkened club in his best night-out wear, and a job when he contrived to bump into her on the dance floor - once, then again, until her eyes sparked with interest. 

He told himself it was a job when they danced, bodies pressed tight together, and he definitely told himself it was a job when she said, "Let's get some air, yeah?"

He did notice how very efficient she was at evading her bodyguard, ducking around people, splitting off from him, reuniting out of sight. 

Admittedly, it was his job to keep her occupied for much longer than any bodyguard could stomach, or any overprotective father. But the moment their lips met, his job went up in smoke. It was like grabbing hold of a sparkler and finding instead that you had a stick of TNT.

Her lips and her hands and her body against his burned a full hour away. It was only the awareness of where they were that stopped him from violating multiple public-indecency laws, and by the time they heard the sirens, that awareness was getting damn fragile. 

“Shit,” she said against his mouth.

“What,” he said back, running his hand up under her shirt and tracing the bottom edge of her bra. 

She pushed at him. “My father panicked. Damn it. Let me down.”

He shifted back just enough to allow her to slide down his body, and the hot pleasure of it rattled both of them. She leaned against him, sharp fingers digging into his ass, and pressed her open mouth to his neck until he shuddered.

“Jyn!” someone yelled out. “Jyn!”

She ducked under his arm and took a couple of steps toward the mouth of the alley. "I'm fine! God."

By the time she turned around again, he’d melted into the shadows, pressing himself into the noisome corner between a dumpster and the alley wall.

She looked for him, and for a moment her eyes looked lost. Then she pressed her lips together and stalked toward the mouth of the alley, hauling her shirt back into place and wiping her smeared lipstick, grousing, "Can't a woman get some air without the whole city getting up in arms?"

He breathed in the piss-and-hot-garbage scent of his hiding spot until his hard-on softened. Then he slid away and found the panel van where Kay waited a few streets over.

“Things are in motion,” Kay told him. “Meero’s been removed from the Erso account already. You should be getting a call quite soon.”

“Fine,” he said. 

“You’re sweating.”

“It was warm in the club.”

“You haven't been in the club for an hour. Which was considerably more time than was necessary. What did you do all that time?”

He’d taken out his earpiece when he realized where things were headed, back on the dance floor. It had been a calculated risk - Kay couldn’t back him up, but Jyn wouldn’t find the earpiece when they were practically fucking up against the alley wall. 

“You know,” he said. “Distracted her.”

“Hmph,” Kay muttered. "It would be highly unwise to become sexually entangled with the subject of an ongoing investigation."

"I know that."

-

He'd been prepared to see her the next day. He'd thought. He'd viewed reams of pictures and video, met her in the club, gone nearly skin-to-skin in the dim alley.

He told himself it had been the lewd atmosphere of the club, the heat and the lights and the music thudding under his skin, that had made her so magnetic. Away from those, in the rude light of day, she would just be another woman. 

But seeing her in sunlight, just a few feet away, caught him off guard enough that he was grateful for her pissy refusal to look at him for the first several minutes of their introduction. 

It wasn't beauty. He was more or less immune to beauty except as an aesthetic. It rarely had anything to do with what was underneath. 

It was the electricity that seemed to crackle in the air around her. It wanted to haul him close. His hands tingled with the desire to settle back on her hips, her waist, her thighs. 

When she finally did look up and realize that he was her partner of the night before, all her feelings tumbled through her eyes like a thunderstorm before she blinked and shut them all away again.

Peevish because he'd disappeared on her? Angry because he was acting like it hadn't happened?

It would be better for both of them if they pretended it hadn't happened. 

But when she rattled off her schedule, clearly adding as much as she could just to annoy him, he still found himself tweaking her. "There'll be no sneaking out of clubs with strange men as long as I'm around."

Rage bloomed in her eyes, and he wanted to kiss her until that fire burned him to ash. 

"Well," she snarled, slapping her phone down. "Let's see how long that is."

For the sake of his sanity, his libido - hell, his job - he prayed it wouldn't be long.

-

When Cassian reported in, Draven said, "And how is the bodyguard position going so far?"

"She hates him," Kay reported, like a younger child tattling on an older.

"She hates all her bodyguards. I'm not special. It can only help the cover."

Draven grunted. "Is this going to be a problem?"

"No," he said, as he'd said to DS Limited. As he had then, he thought of Jyn's eyes, the glitter and spark of them. "No problem at all."

FINIS

[alectology-archive]

I finally finished the book ha. Speaking of the sanderson books specifically, I don't ever see myself rereading ToM or AMoL again (I can fully see myself rereading even CoT) because they were painfully bad. A couple of things in AMoL were done well - this might still be a generous take on it because it was mostly the epilogue that I really liked and I'm still Reeling even if I already had rand's ending spoiled to me beforehand.

I'm just dumping miscellaneous thoughts under the cut. It mostly started as a rant post about chapter 37 but covers my thoughts on the epilogue as well.

- Demandred is now entering into a swordfight with galad. Even if this is because galad has a foxhead medallion, the demandred from RJ's books would literally never fight another person with a sword bye.

- I've already made a post about this but brandon doesn't get galad. Galad always tried to do what he thought was right - whatever we get from brandon is suspiciously similar to dragonsworn/whitecloak ideology (essentially cult-like behaviour) which is what rj was trying to critique in the first place:

The right thing had always seemed clear to Galad before, but never had it felt as right as this ... The Light itself guided him. It had prepared him, placed him here at this moment.

- demandred literally does not look like rand. He looks like taim:

Demandred was a proud man; one needed see only his face to know that. He looked like al’Thor, actually. They had a similar sense about them.

- Mat has done nothing to offend Bashere. Bashere doesn't talk like this either:

“Matrim Cauthon, you bloody fool. You’re still alive?”

- My eyes are bleeding this is not how command structure works - why couldn't Deira or another ranking officer of Saldaea take command???

All he had said was that Saldaea fights alongside Malkier, and told the troops to look toward Lan. The throne would be sorted out if they all survived the Last Battle.

- This sounds so corny I don't like it tbh ajshejdhdj. Balefire is neutral and doesn't really know Sides like the Light and Shadow but the anti-balefire Flame is... not? It's irritating:

The balefire vanished. A multihued, beautiful crystal grew from him [Taim]. Uncut and rough, as if from the core of the earth itself. Somehow Egwene knew that the Flame would have had much less effect on a person who had not given himself to the Shadow.

- Come ON Asmodean hasn't picked up a single weapon in his LIFE. why would he assume lan is asmodean in disguise.

Demandred blocked Lan’s attack, but he breathed hoarsely. “Who are you?” Demandred whispered again. “No one of this Age has such skill. Asmodean? No, no. He couldn’t have fought me like this. Lews Therin? It is you behind that face, isn’t it?”

- ngl rj would hate having a battle described as 'exquisite' instead of 'terrifying'

“Exquisite," Thom thought. That is the word. Unexpected, but true. Majestically exquisite. No. Not “majestically". Let the word stand on its own. If it is the right word, it will work without help. If it’s the wrong word, adding other words to it will just make it seem desperate.

- These two quotes read like everybody including the dark one think mat is very Important to rand <3

THE SON OF BATTLES. I WILL TAKE HIM. I WILL TAKE THEM ALL, ADVERSARY. AS I TOOK THE KING OF NOTHING.

....

“Not the tree, Gambler,” Hawkwing said. “Another moment, one that you cannot remember. It is fitting, as Lews Therin did save your life both times.”

“Remember him,” Amaresu snapped. “I have seen you murmur that you fear his madness, but all the while you forget that every breath you breathe—every step you take—comes at his forbearance. Your life is a gift from the Dragon Reborn, Gambler. Twice over.”

- I got Major rand/mat/elayne vibes from this passage <3 :

“The Queen of Andor is dead,” Arganda said.

Bloody Ashes! Not Elayne! Mat felt a lurch inside. Rand. . . I'm sorry.

... "This is the end!" Demandred’s augmented voice washed across Mat from the other end of the plateau. “Lews Therin has abandoned you! Cry out to him as you die. Let him feel your pain.”

- kind of irritating that perrin is the one who makes his way back to rand when he's heartsick over faile because we know faile is on top of his priority list whereas mat is the one who walks away? Mat has always been a lot more attached to rand than perrin but this book completely reverses that and chooses to make perrin the Closer friend. And my god mat doesn't meet rand again after that tuon/mat/rand conversation earlier in the book 😐

- where is olver going to go? He's just a kid wtf.

- I hate the tuon pregnancy plot lmfao

- Mat not being present at rand's funeral... I WILL cry.

- mat doesn't see the band again, doesn't attend rand's funeral, doesn't have olver around, doesn't meet his other friends from emond's field again and I am MAD. I imagine it's going to happen anyway eventually but ugh. I'd have liked to see that on-screen.

- sanderson making rand even CONSIDER that he'd be content with only one person out of his three gfs following him is annoying. He loves all three of them.

- I think the only chapter I enjoyed fully was the epilogue. I'm still Sad about rand not being able to kill the dark one and facing the bleak future of being reborn as the dragon again and again but it's a sweet pain, I think. I'm glad he gets to live his life now and thinks of going on adventures (you know who else likes adventures. Mat.)

- I DO kind of dislike that rand can't channel anymore though. I don't really care that he can will things to happen as he pleases now - he struggled with accepting that part of himself for so long and he even cleansed saidin for him to eventually just be shut away from the source like that... it takes away from all the queer readings that it allowed.

- I'm such a sucker for doppelgangers and body snatchers and acts of mimesis and anything that vaguely falls under the genre so the fact that moridin and rand switched bodies fully turned out to be my favourite part of the ending ha.

- cadsuane being chosen as the amyrlin is so stupid bye. The white tower needs a new visionary who's capable of fixing its institutional problems not somebody who bullies people all the time and is stubbornly set in her old ways - she's only had her ego reinforced in all the 300+ years she's lived.

- I think moghedien should have been allowed to run free and commit gay crimes. More reasons to hate the seanchan in my opinion.

- tbh I find myself envisioning mat running from the seanchan the moment tuon has her back turned to him and... good for him? I will forever mourn the potential that tuon had - sanderson chose to not give her much of an arc, I'm guessing, since it wasn't even rj's choice for egwene and siuan to die but harriet's (plus idk I got the impression that he was writing tuon like she was never going to become a better person and still excuses her behaviour while rj specifically writes like tuon is going to become a better person most of the time). I feel like early tuon is very much firmly a fave - I just can't stomach her later because she just keeps having her ego boosted and sanderson plays it off as if it's funny that she's off ordering atrocities to be committed. He just doesn't know how to read the room whenever he picks up mat's povs. Mat never made jokes during the battles he fought in rj's books.

- I hate that I don't really have any thoughts about elayne, aviendha, egwene or nynaeve but they're almost non-characters in this book except when sanderson brought them out for Epic Fights? I was especially let down by the lack of politics in the book.

- the endless battle sequences are just so fatiguing to read that even Good Fight Scenes don't leave a mark on the reader. This was not a good book, lol - I think a lot of my positive thoughts are fully influenced by how good I feel about the epilogue.

- and I definitely did expect rand to die even while I was reading the series around book 5? It was some time then that I managed to spoil the ending to myself which was unfortunate, but I think the ending managed to satisfy readers who'd have liked for him to die as well as the ones who'd have liked for him to live (I am both people)

[tea42]

Fenris reading histories

This is from my Fenders longfic. It’s a specific idea I had about how stories would be told different in Tevinter for propaganda and how Fenris would react to reading a version from outside Tevinter. @rakshadow Thought you might like to read this bit

***

“Would you like to practice reading? I brought something I thought you might like”, Anders asked with his hands weaving and unweaving knots in a cord on his coat.

“I would like that, but I wonder what it is you think I might like”, Fenris answered.

“Do they tell stories about Garahel (2) in Tevinter?”Anders asked.

“If they do I have not heard them”, Fenris answered.

“Oh! Can’t say I'm terribly surprised actually. He’s an elven hero,” Anders said.

“Dalish stories?”, Fenris asked, feeling less enthusiastic and it must have shown.

“Not likely from me. You can go to Merrill if you want those. Some are interesting but they didn’t make me think of you”, Anders said and Fenris was now more curious, “Anyway, Garahel was the Warden who stopped the 4th Blight. He’s the one who killed the archdemon Andoral”, Anders said.

Well that was more interesting.

“Andoral, the Dragon of slaves killed by an elf. I see why they do not tell the full tale in Tevinter(3)”, Fenris said, amused.

“Yeah, might give slaves the right idea”, Anders said with a smile but a bite in his voice similar to his ‘Mage Rights’ voice. There was a certain charm in hearing it directed this way.

“Indeed”, Fenris said and let himself relax further into a smile. Fenris was struck by how comfortable this was. It was close to what he imagined normal people might have.

“I don’t want to spoil the story for you, but you will definitely recognize the name of his lover,” Anders said with a chuckle. The low flames have turned him into contrasts of gold and shadow, accentuating the angles of the man’s face as he smiled.

“Well then, I shall look forward to it”, Fenris responded.

Later in another chapter...

 “Ama-dis…Vah-el…no, VAE-el…Vael. Amadis Vael. Amadis Vael?”, Fenris asked. When he looked over Anders was twitchy with amusement, his toothy grin wide as he rested on his folded arms.

 “Yes! Sebastian’s great-great-something grannie wasn’t just a stuffy noble. She actually got things done- got handsome elf wardens done too, ” Anders said with a ridiculous dance to his brow.

 Fenris snorted at that, but smiled. This was comfortable.

 “A princess of Starkhaven was Garahel’s battle companion and… lover”, Fenris stated in consideration. It was far different from what he had heard in passing in Teventer. He had never before heard a story about an elf like this one. He liked it, more than liked it. It soothed an ache so old he hadn’t known it was there.

 “It is not the tale told in Teventer. It is stranger, and better. Thank you for sharing it”, Fenris said.  

[saradika]

I’m not going to spoil anything but you won’t believe who shows up in the latest Andor ep 👀

omg anon I love you sm - and thank you for thinking of me! 💖

This made me laugh out loud because after last episode with Yularen & the rebel activity, when I read this I was like: “…… is it Thrawn?” (I was thinking like a reference or comm or something)

But then I saw who you were referring to and ahhh I am so excited to watch tonight! 👀 I never would have guessed.

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

last night after asking for and recieving the Roland content you so kindly provided I watched all of the spartan ops cutscenes (I have very little knowledge about halo) and!! one part that really stood out to me (the thing I saw in a gif that made me ask for the content to begin with) was when Roland split into two and went back together. left me with questions, like he's able to just. override the special command given to him by that lady if he tries hard enough? even though I guess he shouldn't be able to? what do the two halves of him represent? has something like that happened another time, maybe with other AI? ough man that little scene is so cool and interesting to me

Link to the last post and all the Roland sources!

Thank you for watching all of SpOps!

Sorry for doing that to you!

Also sorry for another wall of text!

They never really address what AI can and can't do in Halo because they're usually a tool to make the plot go or unlock doors, but they are some of the most interesting parts of Halo! Roland does just brute force and overcome an override code (and they never address it again!!!!>:[)from Dr. Halsey, the most important old lady in all of Halo. She's the scientist behind Master Chief and the Spartans, the power armor they use, Cortana and AI in general, and she helped build the UNSC Infinity (the biggest most technologically advanced ship.). She probably has like 7 doctorates and also is there to provide whatever the plot needs!

AI are really cool and have so many good moments. Isabel has some great cutscenes in Halo Wars 2 when she avenges her murdered scientist buddies and causes a ship to get cut in half. Cortana overrides her ethics subroutine to fuck shit up in one of the books and just generally kicks ass and saves Chief a bunch throughout the games. Serina, also a Halo Wars AI is fun and tragic - here's her goodbye to her captain which is always a fun listen. Iona is great in her comic and in Saint's Testimony, one of my favorite halo short stories - and one of the best AI ones. See also Mo Ye in Midnight in the Heart of Midlothian and just the entire Anarosa short story as well - it's about an ONI agent and AI getting a brain to make another AI (Isabel).

Also I will push Hunt the Truth because it's a good podcast regardless of anyone's level of halo knowledge. It's like the Andor of Halo <- says crab who sits through so much stupid shit for their likes. It's well thought out and crafted and fun. And I still want to yell about the ending without spoiling it for anyone.

Anyways - AI are really one of the coolest parts of Halo and they don't get their time to shine because Microsoft won't let 343i commit to telling a story that might not go over well because nothing they can make will be universally accepted because they're not Bungie***

***I know it's a little more complicated than that but - gestures at everything.

[fanthatracks]

Variety absolutely spoil us with this superb interview between two pillars of Star Wars - Hayden Christensen and Diego Luna - who sit down to discuss their time in the galaxy far, far away, their characters and their returns to those roles in Andor and Obi-Wan Kenobi respectively. LUNA: You were around 20? CHRISTENSEN: When I first started with “Star Wars”? Yeah, I was 19. LUNA: How did that feel back then? Were you still attached to this universe? CHRISTENSEN: Yeah, big time. I loved “Star Wars,” and when the audition came around, it was exciting, but it felt just unattainable. I remember meeting George Lucas for the first time and that was thrilling. And then auditioning with Natalie Portman. It was a very long process, but the entire time, I never really thought that it would ever go my way, so I was just enjoying it. Then when I got the phone call to play the part, it was a life-changing thing. https://youtu.be/KQA8YxOq2a8 CHRISTENSEN: I’d really love to hear about how you got into “Rogue One.” You were already a very established actor. LUNA: It was the first time such secrecy happened around anything I was going to be part of. I was asked by my agent to meet someone for something that couldn’t be said on the phone. I went into a meeting in a restaurant that was completely empty. There was a guy sitting in the corner with a computer open, and this was Gareth [Edwards], the director. I sat down with him, and it was just us for four hours. CHRISTENSEN: So you had no concept that it was “Star Wars” at all at this point? LUNA: My agent said, “This might be ‘Star Wars.’” I guess she didn’t want me to get excited about anything. Gareth explained to me the whole film, and he said at the end, “I would really like you to play this role.” I said to him, “But I don’t see myself here. I love these films, but how do I fit here? No one has my accent. I’ve never thought this could be possible.” He basically said, “Since I saw ‘Y tu mamá también,’ I thought you could be great for a role like this. I want that kind of tone in the film. I want that realism, that feeling that it’s everyday life.” I never thought that a film like “Y tu mamá también” would get me the chance to be in the world of “Star Wars.” [amazon box="0593597915"]

[vostokovasmelina]

May I request a ship for SW, PB and ST? I have brown wavy hair with blonde streaks in the front. I'm 18 and a bisexual Latina, I love to dance and go to parties to get drunk. I'm a bit controlling, and have PTSD (which is why sometimes I don't like to be touched and makes me have some self-destructive behaviors). Love soccer and F1. I'm a bit sassy and sometimes I can be spoiled. I'm a nursing student, aiming for a postgraduate degree in forensic nursing, and a doctorate in public health.

a/n: best of luck with with reaching all your beautiful goals, queen <3

ship requests are CLOSED for the time being

star wars

i ship you with cassian andor

cassian would definitely enjoy the “party animal” aspect of your personality, and would probably sneak you in the best intergalactic gatherings

then getting both of you kicked out when you’re already quite drunk, continuing the party on an abandoned field together

honestly, it would probably become tradition

i feel like cassian can be rather controlling at times, so you’d have a few confrontations about it, but nothing you wouldn’t be able to fix together

he’d be your biggest support, especially on the darker days and would do anything to make you feel better

and yes, you’d definitely deserve the most amazing cuddles

your song: norman fucking rockwell by lana del rey

peaky blinders

i ship you with tommy shelby

wow a woman who’s able to hold thomas shelby down? you wouldn’t believe your eyes

genuinely, after he met you, tommy would finally step on the road to change for the better, all for you- this boy would never forgive himself if he lost you

that being said, he’d cherish you more than anyone else in his life

tommy has had his fair share of awful experiences with ptsd, so he could take care of you without making you feel like a special case

he would never also cross your boundaries or make you uncomfortable, so he’d always make sure you don’t mind to be touched even if it was only a brush of fingers or a short embrace

tommy would secretly love your sassy nature, even when he was the target of your comments

and sometimes he’d let you have the last word simply to see that precious smile of yours

your song: talk by hozier

stranger things

i ship you with nancy wheeler

such beautiful queens :’)

nancy would definitely accompany you to all the parties where you two would end up drunk and making out within the first 20 minutes, tbh

your occasional controlling nature would probably clash with nancy’s stubbornness, causing some heated arguments between the two of you but you’d always make it up in a blink of an eye

nancy would probably worry a lot on your worse days but would always keep herself collected to be able to help you the best she could

sometimes you’d have to remind her that you can take care of yourself if her overprotective part jumped out but you’d be fully aware nancy acts like that out of her immense love for you

she would also always support you and all your goals and would be the proudest girlfriend once you achieved them

your song: honey by kehlani

[doptimous]

Cassian Andor Prompt-a-thon

It’s probably more shippy than necessary so sorry if it bothers anyone. My idea was that cooking can be both a good way to learn patience and controle over your mind but also over tools, like a knife. And I wanted to make it cute because it’s the end of the year and there’s way too many shit happening all around. So, enjoy and happy new year if you’re already there!!

(also it’s totally not proofread because I should be sleeping for a good hour but I wanted to finish it this year. So yeah.)

for @thefulcrumcaptain prompt-a-thon:

how/when/from whom did he learn to cook? He can’t have gotten much from his birth family, unfortunately, since six-year-olds can’t do a ton around the kitchen. Was it the Alliance? Was it one of the cells he was with before that? Was it on an undercover mission?

The knife sliced easily between the meat and the heavy crust of the squash. Cassian was careful as not to nick his fingers when he went for the curvier part but he managed to separate the crust without trouble then he cut the purple meat in neat and equal cubes before putting them in the pan with the simmering onions.

He used a wooden spoon to stir the vegetables together, added some water and spices before putting a plate over as a lid and went back to cut some other weird root.

Bodhi looked somewhat fascinated but he didn’t say a word. Even Baze seemed somewhat impressed by the display of both agility and control Cassian had of his knife but he didn’t comment either. Each movement was sharp, each pass on the peel was efficient and all his pieces, either cubes or slices were all perfectly measured to optimize the cooking homogeneity.

He remembered his sister Mirilia, when she tried to teach him how to reproduce the meal they had at home. It was a very rare occurrence, she was always busy elsewhere and barely made time for anything more than kissing him goodnight, but a few times, when he had been really good, when he had done something really brave, or incredibly reckless for a child thrown in a resistance cell, she indulged him with a memory of their home.

“Don’t be a Rhalouf, Sian, and hold your knife properly.”

She was always very careful to cut each pieces evenly whereas his were sloppy. It was still good when she mixed them all together, because she had spent enough time with their grandfather to learn how to add the right spices and control the fire but there were always parts overcooked while other still crunched. Cassian hadn’t like it then and didn’t like now either.

Mirilia never said anything, but he remembered her laughing eyes each time he had to swallow one of his pieces. The lesson had been short but very useful. In retrospect, he realized her sister mostly taught him how to grip a blade to make precise damage more than how to cook, but it was still nice of her to make time for him.

He stirred a little longer the vegetables, put the roots in the boiling water and went to grill the meat. When everything was ready, he put a little of each preparation into four plates before bringing them on the table.

“Thank you, Captain. You’re spoiling us,” said Chirrut with a smile and even Baze mumbled a compliment just as Bodhi let a low whistle of admiration.

Cassian nodded and digged in his food to avoid any more comment and the others seemed to get it. They spoke of mundane things between mouthfuls of meat and vegetables and the meal was quickly done because clearly, they enjoyed it.

“Did you keep a plate for Jyn?” Bodhi asked suddenly and he had that look on his face that said he thought he made a mistake.

Cassian huffed with a smile. “Of course I did. Do you really think I have death wishes?”

There was a weird pause and then Bodhi answered, “No, no, of course not. I just… I’m just glad Jyn can have some when she’s back. It was really good. Thank you, Captain.”

He promptly rose with his empty plate, washed it quickly and disappeared in his quarters with a polite yet embarrassed wave. Baze nearly followed suite but Chirrut called, “Do you want a cup of tea, Captain, before retiring for the night?”

“I’ll wait for Jyn,” Cassian reminded him.

“All the more for having a cup.”

Chirrut walked to his quarters while Baze boiled water. By the time the tea finished brewing, Jyn and Kay came back from their investigation and Cassian felt the tension under his ribs lessen.

“You’re punctual,” noted Chirrut as he poured her a cup. “It should be just like you like it.”

He put the cup on the table and filled another for Cassian while he dressed a plate for Jyn then the two Guardians left with the teapot. Kay was rambling about some problem they had encountered during their mission but Cassian focused only on Jyn. She wasn’t injured and only shrugged when he asked silently for her explanation. 

“Could you send your report to command, Kay? I’m really hungry and that food smells amazing.”

The droid didn’t sniff but it was close but neither Jyn nor Cassian paid him any attention. Jyn was digging in her food with enthusiasm while Cassian pretended to sip his too hot tea. He barely managed to swallow a few drops before Jyn cleaned up her plate and when she reached for her cup, she asked, “So, what made you so upset?”

She blew on her tea and swayed lightly the cup between her hands but her eyes were on him.

Cassian wanted to deny but he had to admit, he was tensed. Anxious probably. But before he admitted it to her, he countered, “What make you think I was upset?”

She smiled over the rim of her cup and took a careful sip. She grimaced and stuck her burnt tongue at him.

“Chirrut made his chamomile blend, so he must have sensed it too.”

Her smirk told him there was more so he waited and after a few minutes of silence, she added, “You cut everything in tiny bites. You only do that when you’re stressed.”

“I… what?”

“You never noticed?”

Cassian blinked at her and she chuckled. Grabbing his hand, she began to play with his fingers in a very distracting way.

“You’re always meticulous when you’re cooking, but when you’re upset, or stressed, you spend extra time cutting everything in very small pieces. I think it’s cute.”

“I just don’t like it when the pieces are uneven. It mess up the texture and…”

Her smile was growing as she was clearly trying to not laugh. Cassian sighed.

“Okay, maybe you’re right.”

“I assure you I am. But it’s nice. I like it.”

He gave her a dubious look so she kissed his fingers.

“I like your food and I like you worry about me.”

“Well, yeah. I suppose it’s better I chopped down vegetables and roots rather than pacing around like a mad man.”

She hummed in answer, swallowed her still too hot tea and got up to wash both her plate and cup. Then she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

“I just regret not seeing you. You’re sexy with a knife.”

“Maybe next time, don’t take so long,” he chidded her gently. She kissed him again and whispered, “But I like coming home finding you cooked for me.”

“But I can cook for you in front of you. So you can watch my dazzling blade skills.”

“Carving your way to my heart?”

Cassian shrugged and got up but didn’t let her release him, her arms just went around his torso rather than his shoulders.

“Well, we both know you’re more into knife than into food, right?”

She laughed and with a teasing smile, said, “For you, I can do both.”

And just for that, Cassian knew his sister had indeed taught him right.

[joeybelle]

Starlight - Chapter 24

Relationship: Cassian Andor / Original Female Character

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Strong language, Heavy drinking, Mentions of torture and death, Mention of animal death

Size: 8000 words

---

Cassian had a day off. Well, most of a day off.

He’d come back to base late at night and was debriefed right away, as was routine. He managed to get into bed before sunrise though, and to fall asleep pretty quickly, so he woke up well rested a few hours later. He didn’t usually sleep much. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept the whole night without being sedated. Even when he was by Cora’s side and he managed to relax, he would still only sleep a few hours at a time. This was just one of the downsides of living as a soldier.

On paper, he had the day off. But he still had so many things to do, and he couldn’t waste a whole day doing nothing anyway. So he got dressed in his usual attire and headed to the hangar to do some much needed repairs to his ship.

He always looked through the med bay glass doors whenever he passed it, hoping to catch a passing glimpse of Cora’s silhouette. At this hour, she’d usually be looking out the window with a cup of hot caf in her hands, if there was no emergency. This time, he didn’t see her. The med bay was quiet, with no one but a med droid in sight.

He considered going in. He didn’t have a reason to, but he could always find an excuse and Cora would be thrilled to be able to scan him and lecture him about his health. The thought made him smile. Or he could actually be honest for once and tell her he just dropped by to say ‘hi’. Because he’d missed her. Of course, it could very well be Doctor Crane’s shift, but he’d just ask for some bacta patches and chat until she would come in for her shift.

Yes, that’s what he would do, he thought to himself as he took a few determined steps towards the glass doors, only to see Doctor Aidan Veltz coming out of one of the consultations rooms. This wasn’t something he’d anticipated. Cassian did a 180 hoping that the doctor hadn’t noticed him, almost crashing into Doctor Crane.

“Good morning, Cassian,” the doctor said, grabbing his elbow so he couldn’t flee. “Are you alright? Were you coming to see me?”

“No, no. I’m alright,” he said, smiling under the doctor’s inquiring gaze. “Honestly,” he felt like he had to add, as if that ever proved anyone’s innocence. “I was just…” His voice trailed at the end, and he seemed a little embarrassed. After all, how could he tell Doctor Crane that he was only there hoping to talk to Cora before he went about his day?

“Ah, so you were only paying us a visit, I see,” he said, and Cassian just shrugged. “Well, she’s taken a couple of days off. You won’t find her in the infirmary today.”

Cassian could feel his ears starting to burn but nodded in acknowledgement. The doctor had always been able to read him like an open book, so there was no point denying anything. He only wondered how long he’d known about it.

But he was also a little surprised. As far as he knew Cora had never taken a day off of her own accord, and even when she was forced to take one she would still find ways to come back to work. So this was a little bit odd. But it was too early to get worried.

“Is she alright?” he asked the doctor anyway. He had no idea what might have happened while he was away.

“As far as I know.” Doctor Crane didn’t seem worried, so that was a good sign. “She said she needed a couple of days off for personal reasons and I was happy to let her take a break. She works too much. Just like you,” he said, pointing a finger at Cassian.

“I have a day off too,” he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“And what do you plan to do with it?”

“Work on my ship.”

“See, that’s what I’m saying.” Doctor Crane shook his head before heading for the med bay. “It’s okay to take a break from time to time, Cassian. Learn to unwind.”

“I will,” Cassian assured him. “But I’ve got some things to sort out first.” He said goodbye and walked to the elevators.

So Cora wasn’t working that day. That wasn’t such a bad thing. For once they had a day off at the same time. He considered taking the elevator down to pay her a visit. She would probably still be asleep, but he had the access code to her quarters, especially for situations like this.

She’d given it to him so he’d be able to let himself in whenever he wanted, when she might be asleep or in the shower or just wouldn’t hear him knock. At first, he was reluctant to just barge in like that, but then he figured that if she trusted him with it, she must really want him there. So he would gently knock on her door and if she wouldn’t reply he’d just let himself in, discard his clothes on the floor and silently crawl in bed next to her, making as little noise as possible. She’d always grumble in the morning that he should have woken her up, but he loved the look on her face when she opened her eyes and realized he was besides her.

But in the end he changed his mind and headed for the hangar. He wanted her to rest properly, and he still had some things that he really needed to do that morning. He knew that if he went by her side right now, it would be twice as hard to leave and do his job, so he decided he’d just hurry and finish everything and drop by later. Maybe he’d do something nice for her. He could cook and they could go out somewhere to eat, away from the constant buzz of the base. Yeah, they could do that.

Cassian was whistling quietly when he climbed into his ship. K2 followed him with a curious gaze. “I see you’re in a good mood today,” K said, taking out a toolkit.

“Maybe I am,” Cassian said, plopping down in the pilot seat.

“We still have to repair the shields,” the droid let him know, going into the back of the ship. He didn’t seem to share his good mood.

“I know. That’s why I’m here.”

Unfortunately, fixing the ship took way longer than he expected, even with the help from a couple of mechanics. Cassian’s good mood had officially vanished before noon along with the prospects of spending the whole day with Cora on a nice picnic. He kept stealing glances towards the ER hoping that she would show up at some point. He’d hammered his own hand in a moment of carelessness, so he wouldn’t mind if she’d take care of it.

No matter how much he looked he wouldn’t see her. Lewella and the others had come out to eat lunch in front of the ER, but she didn’t show up even then. This was out of the ordinary, since Cassian knew she would never skip the opportunity to spend some time with Lew, since they had so little time to spend together anyway. Unless she was sick or something had happened. He started to worry.

But no matter how concerned he was and how much he wanted to just drop everything and run to find her, he couldn’t leave until the job was done. He got mad and cursed and hit the ship with his boot, but he was stuck there until they managed to fix it.

When he finally bolted out of the hangar, sweaty and smeared in engine oil, it was already late afternoon. He glanced through the ER doors: everyone was working, but there was no sign of Cora, so he headed to her quarters. He punched in the code without bothering to knock beforehand, pushed by the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right.

The door opened to reveal an empty room. He turned on the lights and looked around: the bed was made, the room was clean, there was no sign of anything being wrong, except that Cora wasn’t there. He stood in the middle of the room, trying to pull himself together.

Of course she wouldn’t be there, he thought, laughing at himself, it was late afternoon on her day off, there was no way she’d spend it all sleeping in her room, waiting for him. She wouldn’t even know he was back on base. Yeah, of course. Especially since she wasn’t ill or anything. He’d just have to find her.

He left the underground and went straight for the ER. If anyone would know where to find Cora it was Lew. Not that he wouldn’t be able to track her on his own, but he was tired and cranky and he wasn’t afraid to ask a friend for help. Even one that would smile cheekily and look at him all knowingly from the crate she was currently perched upon.

“You should be the one to know,” she said over her sandwich. “You’re the one who’s dating her.”

Cassian frowned when he heard the word dating. It sounded so mundane it almost frightened him. He never used it in his head when he referred to Cora and himself, but now that he thought about it, there was no word he used to refer to their relationship. He was the sort of man that didn’t like to use big words especially when he felt like there was no need to use any words at all.

“I’ve been away for days in case you haven't noticed,” he said, a little more snappy than he intended.

“Oh, so that’s why my complexion cleared, I stopped getting headaches, I had an appetite once again…”

“Lew…”

“I’m joking, you grump,” she huffed. “I don’t know, I haven’t seen her today. She’s probably working,” she said, thinking hard and counting something on her fingers. “I think she’s working today. Have you checked the med bay upstairs?”

“No, not yet,” Cassian lied. If Cora had taken a day off and hadn't told Lew she must have had her reasons and he wasn’t going to rat her out. But that only made him more worried. Cora was usually pretty predictable, but now it seemed like she might have something to hide. Or, of course, it was possible that he was overthinking it.

“Check there. I’m pretty sure it’s her shift today. And bring her some food if you go up, she might have forgotten to eat, as always,” she said, munching on her sandwich.

“Yeah, I will.” Too bad his plans to actually cook something nice for her had been spoiled. But he could always fix her a sandwich. He was sure she’d be excited for that too.

“What kind of boyfriend are you if you don’t even know her shifts?” Lew mumbled, biting into her sandwich.

His heart skipped a beat. “I’m not her boyfriend,” Cassian scoffed. The word sounded weird rolling off his tongue.

“What are you then?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets and fidgeting around nervously. It wasn’t a topic he was comfortable talking about. “We are what we are.”

“Poetic. Have you talked to her about it?”

“No? What is there to talk about?”

“There comes a time in any relationship when you have to start talking to each other.”

“We are talking.” Cassian sounded exasperated. He didn’t like where this was going. Not only was Lewella looking at him like he was an idiot, he also felt like one.

“But you’re both avoiding the important things. Like talking about your relationship and where you want it to go.” There was a harshness to her words that he hadn’t heard in a long time, so he let out a shaky breath and leaned on the crate next to her.

“I have no idea where it’s going,” he said, shrugging. “We’re going with the flow for now.”

“Does she have any say in that?” Cassian frowned, looking at her like she’d just thrown cold water in his face. “Have you thought that maybe she’s not content with just ‘going with the flow’.”

Cassian didn’t know what to say. No, he’d never thought about that. He always considered that if there was something she didn’t like she’d let him know. She always voiced her dissatisfaction. “She didn’t say anything like that.”

“I think you’d be the one to know that people don’t always talk about their feelings openly. I mean, look at you…”

“Did she say anything to you?” Now he was really worried. It was something he didn’t even consider, or rather knew he had to do, but delayed it indefinitely, because they both seemed content with how things were going. “Did you talk about this?”

“A little,” Lewella admitted, and Cassian’s stomach constricted painfully. “She is just as scared as you are. And confused. And very reluctant to put a label to your relationship, and to be honest I think that stems from a fear that you might react to that the exact way you’re reacting now…”

“How am I reacting?” Cassian asked, confused and a little defensive, crossing his arms.

“You’ve prickled like a cactus,” she said, the corners of her mouth turning upwards, but not in a smile. “And that frown is threatening to split your face in two.” Cassian passed his fingers over his forehead in an attempt to smooth the skin. “Don’t bother,” she snorted. “Anyway, it’s just speculation on my part. I might be reading too much into this, but it won’t do no harm opening your mouth and talking about it. It will clear up a lot of confusion and you will see that it will help in the long run.”

“What’s the point in putting a label on a relationship anyway?” He was getting restless. He didn’t like this conversation one bit.

“It’s not about a label here, Cassian, it’s about clearing the confusion. It’s about stating your intentions and making sure you’re on the same page. Listen,” she continued, when Cassian opened his mouth to say something, “no one says that you have to start calling her ‘future wife’— although considering how much time you’ve been spending in her bed I think it’s safe to say that you’ve moved from casual fucking to something a lot more committed.”

He laughed nervously, trying to hide his embarrassment. “How could you possibly know?”

“I have direct view to the elevators,” she said, pointing in their direction. “And eyes to see. You’ve been sleeping in her bed more than you’ve been sleeping in your own bed. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but you’ve got to accept that it’s gone past a casual fuck with no strings attached.”

Cassian was getting more tense. Up until then, Lew had teased him about his relationship with Cora, but always avoided getting into the heavy stuff and he was really thankful for that, because he wanted to avoid talking about feelings for as long as possible. But it seemed that his free pass had ended, because Lewella was in full blown lecture mode.

“I know you’re scared of commitment, I understand, trust me,” she continued, her voice softening considerably, “but you’ve got to do this. For her sake, if you don’t care about yourself because you’re a ‘manly man who don’t do feelings’.”

“I’m not scared of commitment,” he said, kicking a small rock with his boot and watching it roll on the stone floor. “It’s just that…” His voice was weak, mirroring the uncertainty in his soul. “I might not be here tomorrow. I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep, I don’t wanna give anyone false hope.” His voice trailed off at the end.

“Then don’t make any promises,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “None of us know what will happen tomorrow, hell, most of us won’t make it. But we still have today. And there’s no reason to suffer today for what might happen in the future.”

Cassian still looked down, drawing on the floor with the tip of his boot. “I guess you’re right,” he said, but even that sounded unsure. “It’s just all so complicated.”

“Hey! I know talking about feelings is a scary thing, but nothing worth fighting for comes easy,” she said, folding the now empty sandwich wrapper and throwing it in the trash.

“What did you say?” He has the feeling he’d heard this before, but it was a vague memory.

“Nothing worth fighting for comes easy,” she repeated, a little more pronounced this time. “And we’re allowed to hope, remember that. Otherwise why the fuck would we even be here? Hope is all we’ve got. Hope is what all this shit is built upon,” she said lifting her hands to point around her.

Cassian glanced at her as she jumped off the crate. She had a sad smile on her face as she looked in the distance. He’d rarely seen her like that, usually the first one to break into laughter or turn to banter, now she looked really serious and maybe a bit melancholic.

“Don’t think too much, Cassian, I feel you overthinking already,” she said, crossing her arms. “You don’t have to put any labels on anything, you just need to be honest and you know, open up a little and let her know how much you care. That’s not gonna ruin your image, trust me. Maybe a little, but I promise to not tell anyone, scout’s honor,” she said, placing a hand on her chest and Cassian couldn’t help but chuckle. “Now stop sitting around and go find your girlfriend before the poor girl starves to death. Tell her I said ‘hi’.”

“Yeah, I will.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and straightened his back.

They spent a couple more minutes chatting in front of the med bay before Lew had to go back to work. They didn’t talk as often as they used to anymore and he missed her sometimes. Although he wasn’t the most sociable person ever, he still loved his friends. The same war that brought them together was also keeping them apart.

When he took off to find Cora he was a lot less enthusiastic than before. He knew deep down that he’d one day have to talk to her about their relationship, but he didn’t think it would happen so soon. Sometimes—rarely—he daydreamed of a future where he wouldn’t be alone but he’d always imagined something like that happening at a point in his life when he had some sort of stability. He never thought he’d meet someone in the middle of the war and get so attached that he’d actually consider allowing himself to hope of a future spent with them. No, he was too careful to let that happen. Too closed off, too guarded. And yet…

Lewella had been right: he had to talk to her. While he was used to living in uncertainty, he knew not everyone was. He needed to let her know how much he cared because he knew he wasn’t the most open person in the world, and she deserved honesty. Now that Lew forced him to think about it, he really didn’t want to risk leaving things unsaid, just in case he’d never come back. But at the same time, he didn’t want to get her hopes up, for the same reason.

He looked for her in the mess hall first. It was busy, but not incredibly so. He couldn’t spot her anywhere, so he went up to the infirmary. He looked around for her as discreetly as he could and when he once again convinced himself she wasn’t there, went back to check her quarters.

There was no note anywhere, no indication where she might have gone. He knew, he checked twice. Her casual clothes were missing, but nothing else as far as he could tell. He sat on her bed, trying to figure out what to do next. He could always contact her on her comm. Cassian hated using it, and he never used it for private matters, especially with Cora since he knew full well that every call would be recorded, filed, listened to and interpreted. And she seemed to distrust it just as much as he did, so they never contacted each other by comm. But he knew that all medical personnel were required to always have their comlinks on hand, in case there was any kind emergency.

He decided to contact her. It would be the fastest way to find her and he knew how to make the call sound innocent so no one listening in would suspect there was something going on between them. He wondered what would happen if they did. He’d get yelled at by Draven, but that was nothing new, and in the end there wouldn’t be any punishment for it. They weren’t doing anything wrong.

He fished out his comlink and contacted her. He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the comm beeping from inside the closet. He found it in the pocket of her medical uniform. That was unusual. He knew she carried it around even when she wasn’t working, as was protocol. Why did she decide to leave it in her room this time?

Leaving her quarters, he had more questions than answers. Until then he hadn't really thought she might be missing, now he knew there was a high chance it might actually be so. She still had the tracker bracelet, hopefully, but he didn’t want to have to bring this to the attention of his superiors, unless there was no other choice. He was willing to bet she wouldn’t just get up and leave one day without a word. Without telling him. Or at least he hoped with all his heart. But what if something had happened? Something he hadn’t been able to forsee.

He was trying hard to focus, but was still pretty disoriented when he reached his floor. He needed to calm down, move fast and think. He cursed himself for being this incompetent, but he could feel panic slowly rising from the depths of his own being. He had to think of all the possible places where she could be. Cargo, she could have gone searching for something down there. He could check the logs, but she might have been let in unofficially, so there would be no record. Training grounds—maybe she was trying to train on her own, she’d been doing that since the assessment, but he would have seen her pass his ship. She would have known he was back, and didn’t think she wouldn’t drop by to say hello. He hoped. Maybe she just left for a stroll in the forest, although she was afraid of it. Either way, he was willing to search every square foot of the base and jungle to find her.

A knock on the med bay glass wall made him snap out of his thoughts and look. Doctor Crane was pointing a finger towards the door that lead to the platform outside. Of course! He almost slapped himself for his stupidity. That was the one place that was really easy to check and he’d just forgotten about it. As if both of them hadn’t used it so many times before to clear their heads of simply to get some air. He thanked the doctor with a nod and headed towards the door.

It was a windy day, but it was pretty sunny. Well, the clouds would occasionally break and let the sun through, but that was more sun that usual. At least it was a pleasant change from the constant, nagging rain.

Cora was sitting on the stone platform, leaning on the wall, her back turned to the door. She was looking in the distance and didn't seem to notice him joining her, right until he sat down next to her. She seemed startled by his presence for a short moment, but then her face broke into a smile when she recognized him.

“Well hello there, Captain,” she said in a sing-song voice. “Didn’t think I’d see you here. Come here often?” She was swaying a little as she rested her open palms on his chest. She was drunk.

“Often enough,” he said, placing an arm protectively around her shoulders. Her eyes were glassy and red, like she’d been crying. A shiver ran down his spine, trying to figure out what might have driven her to this. “What are you doing here?”

“Hiding,” she said, dropping her hands in her lap and looking at them. There was a half full bottle of Corellian brandy within reach that seemed to have been keeping her company for a while.

“Hiding from what?” He didn’t want to say ‘from whom’ in case the answer would be him.

“Everyone? Myself?” She sniffled and rested her head on his shoulder. “Today’s a bad day.”

Cassian kissed the top of her head, pulling her closer. He had found her, but instead of feeling relieved, he was even more worried. “What happened?” he asked against her hair. There was a faint smell of disinfectant still embedded in her skin.

“My mom died,” she replied after a few moments of silence. “Well, not today today, but today. Years ago. You know.” Her voice was hoarse like she’d spent the last few hours crying and Cassian blamed himself for not finding her sooner. For assuming everything was okay.

“I’m sorry,” he said, hanging his head in shame.

“It’s ok. I don’t think about her often. I try not to think about my childhood in general, but the past week’s been bad. The nightmares are back,” her voice trailed off at the end and she took another swig of brandy. “Been self medicating for years,” she continued, “but I forced myself to stop when I moved here. I don’t like them on the long run anyway, they make me drowsy. I was ok for a while, but now I don’t know, everything’s just come flooding back.”

“When did this start?” he asked, even more worried.

“Last week, I don’t know. I’ve always had nightmares, it’s just that they’ve been more frequent this past week. Such a shit week.”

Cassian felt flooded by guilt. He hadn’t known what she was going thought, and felt terrible for doing nothing. He knew he couldn’t have stayed back to care for her even if he knew about it, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t wish he could have helped her somehow. “Did they get more frequent after your last mission?”

In a second her whole demeanor changed, leaning away from him, her body becoming rigid in his hands. “Are you trying to assess my mental health, Captain?” she asked in and icy tone that was only amplified by her drunkness.

“No,” he replied, not letting her escape his embrace. “I’m just worried about you, that’s all. Have you talked to anyone about this?”

“No?” she scoffed, like this was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “I don’t want that shit in my file, not with Draven rubbing one off whenever it gets updated. No, thank you.”

Cassian couldn’t help but smile at the obscene gesture she was doing with her hand, but the worry still didn’t disappear. “I’m sure you can talk to Doctor Crane about it and he wouldn’t tell. I’ve never seen him answer to anybody.”

“Yeah, I just don’t wanna unload all this crap on him. He has his own problems.”

“He’s a doctor, it’s his job to make sure everyone’s alright.”

“So am I,” she said, turning her head slightly to throw him a sideways glance. “And I know how to medicate psychosis.”

Cassian shook his head. “It’s not just about medicating, maybe you should just talk. You know, to unload some of that. Want to tell me about it?” he whispered, softly kissing her temple. She slowly melted into his embrace once again, the moment of tension forgotten.

She was silent for a while, playing with the label on the bottle. “Do you really wanna hear about this? It’s a shitty story.”

“Yeah, I want to hear it.”

“Will it go into my file?” she asked, turning around to look at him with tears welling in her eyes.

Cassian’s stomach contracted painfully at the realization that even after all this time he hadn't been relieved of his duty as inquisitor. He’d forgotten for a moment, but she hadn’t. They both knew that everything he heard he had to report sooner or later. Like so many times before he felt his job weighing heavily on his shoulders, and he wished he could be someone else. Anyone else.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. He wanted to help her so badly, but he felt like his hands were tied. No matter what he did, he’d end up hurting someone. “Eventually I will have to,” he said, letting out a ragged breath. “But only if we really need it.” It was a sort of compromise. He wasn’t allowed to do that—withhold information—and he knew he’d be reprimanded when it would eventually come to light, but he could only hope they would never need it. Somehow he knew he’d regret it either way.

He looked away but her hand on his cheek made him look back at her. “You’re a good man, Cassian,” she said. Her words were a little slurred, but her smile was brilliant. He loved the way she looked at him like he was the most important thing in the world. It made him feel wanted. “I’ve missed you,” she said, leaning on the wall behind her. “I always miss you when you’re gone.”

“I miss you too,” he said, leaning in for a kiss. Her lips tasted like Corellian brandy and the saltiness of dried tears. She was holding onto his jacket like she was afraid he’d go away if she let go, clinging onto his frame with a neediness that she rarely showed.

Eventually they settled into an embrace, in silence, huddled close to each other. Maybe she’d decided not to tell him after all and maybe it was better this way. It still killed him inside that she had to go through this inner turmoil all by herself and he really wished she would have someone to listen. Lew would listen without being forced to report. Same with Doctor Crane. But he couldn't blame her for not wanting to open up. Hell, he didn’t open up to anyone.

Cora took another swig of alcohol before passing the bottle to Cassian. He took it and drank, enjoying the familiar sting of alcohol down his throat. It was a really good brandy, and Cassian wondered where she got it from.

He considered offering to move both of them inside. His room was right around the corner, and it was definitely more comfortable than the stone floor. The weather was still nice, but who knew for how long. The wind had picked up and the clouds were getting darker.

“My mother died when I was seven...ish,” she said, and Cassian instinctively brought the bottle to his lips a second time, taking a big gulp. This was a story that needed the type of crutch only alcohol could offer. “I loved my mom,” she continued, her lip quivering a little, “and I know she loved me, but she wasn’t really the greatest mom. She was much too obsessed with her job, and the Empire and everything, she didn’t have much time for me. But she loved me.”

Cassian didn’t say anything, only pulled her closer to his chest. He didn’t remember his own mother, but he knew the pain of losing a parent and and spending your childhood feeling neglected.

“Most of the time they’d leave me alone for days, so it was nothing new. But one day neither of them came back.” She took a shaky breath, her eyes dropping to her hands. “Instead there was a squad of stormtroopers that took me away.” Her voice was low, and Cassian could sense her fear. “I knew one of the officers, he was… he was an older officer, he was strict, but gentle. He’d scold me from time to time, but he’d always be... Anyway.” She sniffled and took the bottle from Cassian’s hand. He considered holding onto it—she’d already had enough to drink—but she managed to snatch it before he reacted. “They came for me one day. He told me that they’d have to move me to another place for a while, and that I’d have to wait there. They didn't tell me shit. They just dropped me to a boarding school and left.”

She still wasn’t looking at him, and Cassian couldn’t find anything reassuring to say. He was trained to comfort people, he’d done it so many times before, but anything he wanted to say sounded fake in his own mind, so he kept his mouth shut and leaned his forehead on her temple. She didn’t turn around, but passed a hand over his cheek, in a gentle, loving gesture.

“I… It was shit. I kicked and I screamed and I fought everyone and I hated the way the planet felt and the air was smelly and I was constantly sick and crying and so afraid.” She took another sip of alcohol. “I found out my mother had died when I pissed off one of the tutors and she just flat out told me no one was coming to get me because my mother was dead and no one cared about me. I threw a fit. I don’t remember much from that day, just the satisfied grin on her face when she finally shut me up.” There were already tears streaming down her cheeks, and Cassian felt helpless. “But in the end she was right, no one cared about me.”

She snuggled closer to Cassian and he kissed the top of her head. She was so small once again, reminding him of the time she’d spent in jail, slowly losing her mind. That was his fault. This was his fault too.

“Eventually I got used to my life at the boarding school. I had no choice. It was terrible, but what else could I have done? I’d made peace with my parents being dead, with me being all alone. Until my father came to visit me about two years after they dropped me there.” She straightened her back and turned around to look at him. “He was a ghost, Cassian. I didn’t realize back then what that meant, but he was the shell of the man I’d once known. Not only did he look so much older, he was so cold, so oddly detached from everything, I was sure he wasn’t even alive.”

She looked in the distance, lost in thought. Cassian studied her features, the involuntary ridge that formed between her eyebrows whenever she seemed to remember something particularly unpleasant, the way her lips pressed together then parted for a few seconds like she was about to say something, then closing once again. The pallor of her skin and the redness of her eyes. The streaks of dried tears on her face.

“But you know, he was still my father,” she eventually said, snapping out of her trance. “Or that’s what I tried to convince myself. He told me to be a good kid and be brave because he’d one day come to pick me up take me out of there.” She seemed to get lost in thought once again, but then pulled herself together. “He never mentioned mom. I know he adored her, I mean he didn’t really care about me but he worshiped the ground she walked on. I don’t think he ever wanted kids…The next time I saw him I was eleven.”

Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. She grabbed the bottle and brought it to her lips again, but Cassian didn’t let her drink too much before snatching it from her hands. She turned around to look at him with a comical frown on her face, so he took a sip. One larger than intended, but it was his day off after all, so no harm done. The story he was listening to needed a little alcohol to go down.

She was smiling when he put down the bottle, a little further away, making sure it was out of her reach. “What?” he asked, feeling the temperature rising rapidly and asking himself if it was because of the alcohol or the way she was looking at him.

“You’re really handsome.”

Cassian laughed. “You think so?”

“Mhm.” She leaned into his chest, closing the gap between them and clumsily pressing her lips onto his. Cassian kissed back, slow and heavy, like he wanted to draw all the sadness out of her, filter it through his own being and make it disappear.

She looked like someone who’d been through a lot. Cassian had always known this, he could see it in her eyes, in the way she reacted, in the way she slept. But he never tried to imagine what she’d actually been through, and he hadn’t thought he’d ever find out. He was surrounded by people who were just as closed off as he was, never talking about feelings, or trauma, or what kept them up at night. They just swept everything under the rug and patted each other on the back when they felt like they needed reassurance.

But she had opened up to him, letting him see her vulnerable and scared and sharing her most intimate memories, even while knowing that he may be forced one day to report on them. Or maybe it was just the alcohol that got her talking and it wasn’t a conscious decision on her part. Kriff, how he hated himself.

He wondered if she’ll do the same in the morning, when she’ll realize that she spilled everything in front of him. Maybe she was drunk enough that he could pretend it never happened. But that would be too cruel of him. He couldn’t lie to her. They needed to talk, and Cassian hated talking.

A faint drizzle had started but they were too distracted to notice. Only when Cora passed a hand through his hair and it came back wet, she looked up and frowned.

“Fuck sake!” she cursed loudly. “We should move to another planet, I hate this weather.”

“We should go inside,” Cassian offered, deciding it was time for them to leave.

“We could go to Scarif,” she said, seeming lost in thought once again. “Have you ever been to Scarif, Captain? It has such amazing beaches. Have I ever told you that I worked on Scarif for a while? Yeah, I worked there for a while after I finished school,” she said without waiting for an answer. “It was nice, the beaches were awesome, but we didn’t really have that much time off. I’d like to go there on vacation one day. Would you come with me?” she asked with a smile.

“Uhhh... yeah,” he answered, scratching his head. “Don’t you wanna head inside first?”

“We’d both get shot, but maybe we could dip our feet in the ocean first.” Cassian was taken aback by the morbidity of that thought, but didn’t say anything. “That’s where I found out the truth about how my mom died,” she said out of the blue. “You know they have that big tower where they keep the archives and whatnot.” Cassian nodded. “It’s very well guarded, but I did someone a service and they let me in, pulled out the files I wanted to look at… Turns out my mother died while testing new spacecraft for the Empire.”

Cassian had a lot of questions, and hated himself for every one of them. This wasn’t an interrogation, he wasn’t supposed to find out everything she knew, but his brain had gone into gear automatically. He forced himself to shut up and listen.

“There was this engineer… Galen Erso. He was the head of something something, I don’t remember.” Her forehead creased, like the memories weren’t coming back that easily. “I know he had a daughter a little younger than myself and they lived with us on ISD Corinthia for a while, right before my mother...” She cleared her throat and Cassian could see fresh tears welling in her eyes. “He was the one that engineered the ships my mother and her colleagues died in,” she said turning around to look at Cassian. “You know, he clearly stated in the report that they weren’t ready to be tested in battle. He opposed the test multiple times, but that bitch Orson Krennic didn't want to listen. He just sent them out there without telling them anything, without even telling them this was more than just a test run. They died!” she almost yelled, the anger palpable in her voice. “They all died! He scraped the whole program after this, deemed the ships too unstable and swept everything under the rug.”

His heart was breaking for her. But at the same time he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that his was valuable information. Even if she’d only known them when she was a small kid, she might still remember details that could help the Rebellion. This wasn’t the time to enquire, though, but made a mental note to talk to her once she’s be sober. Maybe she’d agree to tell him what she knew.

“Can you imagine he even had the audacity to come to my sixteenth birthday and tell me how much I looked like my mother,” she spat, looking like mentioning Krennic’s name had opened up old wounds. “If I knew back then what I know now, I would have ripped out his windpipe before he finished that sentence.”

There were tears in her eyes, angry tears, streaming down her cheeks, her hands balled into fists. She was shaking. Cassian had never seen her this angry before, it didn’t even compare to the time he imprisoned her and she tried to claw his eyes out. No, this went a lot deeper.

But the anger quickly melted away, like a match that had burned out. She was left looking drained and sad. “My father socked him in the face when he came to express his condolences,” she continued, laughing bitterly. “He hit him, and hit him until the guards grabbed him. They sent him to a reconditioning facility. Came out of there barely human eighteen months later.”

Cassian caught another fleeting glimpse of fear in her eyes as she looked in the distance. She used her sleeve to wipe the tears running down her face, but Cassian removed her hand before she rubbed herself raw and dried the rest with a tissue. It was the least he could do for her.

“I mean he wasn’t a great father before, but he was even less after that. He was…” She looked for the bottle, but Cassian shifted a bit to hide it from her sight. She huffed, frustrated, but gave up after a few moments. “He’s still my father,” she said, leaning back into Cassian’s chest. “No matter how much I told myself that I hate him… can’t get myself to hate him enough to kill him.”

She buried her face in his uniform, sobbing quietly. Cassian placed an arm protectively around her shoulders and hugged her tight, kissing her forehead and whispering encouraging words in her ear, although he was pretty sure she wasn’t listening. He hoped that he would be able to keep it together. He didn’t know what to do. All his training seemed to have flown out the window and he was more unprepared than ever. The woman he loved was having a mental breakdown and the only thing he could do was hold her while she cried in his shirt.

After a few minutes she seemed to start dozing off, her eyes closing involuntarily. Cassian considered letting her fall asleep completely before carrying her inside, but she rain had picked up. He tried to lift her up as gently as possible as not to wake her, but her eyes flew open when he tried to move. He cursed under his breath.

“Ah! There you were!” she exclaimed, the power nap in his arms seeming to have tapped into an unknown reserve of energy. Cassian turned to look at what he was talking to, right in time to see the alcohol bottle in her hand.

“How did you reach that? Give it back.”

“No!” she giggled, getting up and trying to bring it to her mouth, but instead spilling some brandy on her shirt. “Agh fuck this.”

“Come on, you’ve had enough,” Cassian said, following her.

“No!” she protested. “You’re not my real dad!”

“What?”

Cora laughed and kept the bottle away from his reach, making him dance around her trying to get it. He was perfectly capable of tackling her, he told himself as he was getting increasingly irritated, he’d just decided not to hurt her in any way. There was no way a drunk Cora would be able to escape him for long, especially when she seemed a little uncertain on her feet.

“Come drink with me, Captain.” She hid the bottle behind her back and pecked Cassian on the lips as he was trying to get it from her as gently as possible. “Drink with me. Please?”

There were still fresh tears on her face, mixed with the droplets of rain, but she was smiling, still holding onto the bottle he was trying to take away from her. “How can I drink if you don’t give me the bottle?” he asked, trying to be the intelligent, sly captain everyone thought him to be. Truth be told, he was feeling the effect of the alcohol already.

“Okay,” she said, but still didn’t let go of the bottle. “But I have to see you drink. No, you can’t touch it.” She brought the bottle to his lips, almost splitting his lip and spilling a considerable amount of alcohol on this uniform.

“Okay, okay,” he mumbled and opened his mouth before she managed to fill his lungs with brandy. She was generous with the drink, to say the least. Cassian had to make a tremendous effort not to choke on the burning liquor, before he succeeded to take it from her hands, not before spilling more liquor on both of them. “Happy now?” he said, with a stupid smile on his face. Oh, the brandy was going to his head fast.

“Yeah,” she giggled.

“Where did you get it from, anyway?” he asked, looking at the bottle, while Cora attached herself to his arm.

“Melshi.”

“I should have figured…”

“He’s a good friend,” she mumbled, shoving her nose in his shoulder. “You’re a good friend. Thank you.”

“For?”

“For listening,” she said, her voice weak and her eyes sad once again. “And staying here with me and making me feel better… and for everything, really.” She snuggled closer to him, closing her eyes. “I always feel better when you’re here.”

“Anytime,” he said softly, kissing the top of her head. He hadn’t done anything besides listening, and that was much too close to ‘doing nothing’ for Cassian’s peace of mind. He was a man of action, and he felt helpless. He turned around to tell her that he was sorry and that he wished he could to more for her, but her eyes were closed and she seemed to already be dozing off. He smiled, and guided her towards the door.

“Where are we going?” she asked stopping dead in her tracks, frowning at the door.

“Inside? It’s raining,” he said, looking at her in disbelief.

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“There are people inside, I’d rather stay here,” she said, taking a few steps back.

“Cora…” Cassian whispered, exasperated, before taking a few steps towards her, lifting her up and flinging her over his shoulder. Cora yelped and started hitting his back with her fists, but was giggling like a schoolgirl when he opened the door and stepped inside the base.

[Masterlist in Bio]

[kellyinawheeliebin]

tagged by actual bastard @anactualgoblin AND @crunchmaster-supreme because if one of us goes down the other does too I GUESS

rules: put your master music playlist on shuffle and type the first 10 songs

I’m feeling talkative so I’ll tell you my favourite lyric and whether it makes me think of a character while we’re here

tagging my top three followers and then some because why not! @alphtwowins @maverik6464 @cherrycolavevo

1. Street Fight - Adam Jensen: this song fucking SLAPS dude. it’s not on any of my playlists but honestly? vox machina

I’m a fan of the chorus:

We're off full throttle to the floor Fist up and we need a little more cause We are ready for a street fight

2. Monster - Starset: JDHFSJDKF OKAY it’s jaime we knew it would be. the og was shiro actually, cause it was like tortured shiro being turned into a killing machine hit me real hard

You're the pulse in my veins You're the war that I wage Can you change me? Can you change me? From the monster you made me?

3. Die Young - Kesha: no character, only this video. usually the character or context changes depending on my hyperfixation but nope, just that video

I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone So while you're here in my arms Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

4. Cirus - Britney Spears: TELLTALE’S CATWOMAN BABEY. managed to sync it up to a fight scene once

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage Better be ready, hope ya feel the sameAll the eyes on me in the center of the ring Just like a circus When I crack that whip, everybody goin' trip Just like a circus

5. Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy: JAIME AND BRIENNE BABEY!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!

Anything you say can and will be held against you So only say my name It will be held against youAnything you say can and will be held against you So only say my name (name)If heaven’s grief brings hell’s rain Then I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

6. Underground - Austin Wintory: ac syndicate obviously, but also my sister and I talked about it with mass effect 3 and now it hurts really bad

Those who fought for something better Those who taught by how they lived Loved ones taken long before their work was done Underground Underground Leave them underground.

6. A Dog’s Life - Miracle of Sound: it’s based on the wolf among us. check out miracle of sound, he does really good stuff!

Who's evading the skin-clad wof? I hope the spoils were worth it... Who's evading the skin-clad wolf? The eyes just scratch the surface...

7. History Maker - Dean Fujioka: CAN YOU HEAR, MY HEARTBEAT? never watched yuri on ice, listened to it because of dean fujioka as roy in the live action fullmetal alchemist movie actually

Don't stop us now, The moment of truth We were born to make history We'll make it happen We'll turn it around Yes, we were born to make History

8. A View to a Kill - Duran Duran: the best of the bond openings. I will hear no arguments on this matter. this song fucking SLAPS. I don’t even have a character it’s just that good raw shit. LOVE IT

Dance into the fire That fatal kiss is all we need Dance into the fire To fatal sounds of broken dreams Dance into the fire That fatal kiss is all we need Dance into the fire

9. Lollipop (Candyman) - Aqua: this is my childhood in a song

Come with me Honey, (Oh) I'm your sweet sugar Candyman. Run like the wind, fly with me to Bountyland. (Oh) Bite me, I'm yours, if you're hungry please understand. This is the end, of the sweet sugar Candyman.

10. Gimme Something Good - Ryan Adams: ryan adams sucks but I’m pretty attached to this song. it’s on the official cassian andor playlist and that movie still hurts

I was playing dead It didn't make a sound Holding my breath Going underground So I can't talk I got nothing to say It's like there's no tomorrow Barely yesterday

[kylo-renegade]

Masterlist

*- Favorite

Kylo Ren x Reader:

Asshole - Ever since the force bond with Rey, Kylo has been neglecting the one person who matters most in his life, you.

Spoiled - You and Kylo’s son knows how to suck up to you. An event causes you and Kylo to finally have a discussion about parenting.

Scars - Being abused by your father for being a force user, you are left with scars, physical and emotional. Kylo helps to heal them.*

Save Him - You lash out on Rey after scaring the love of your life, but soon realizes the inevitable. Only she can save him.

Colors (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) - All colors have a double meaning. When Kylo says Rey’s name in his sleep, you wind up learning a lot about the colors around you, and inside of everyone.*

Nothing - Kylo is obsessive. You have to get out.

Lay All Your Love On Me (Modern) - Based on Sophie’s plot from Mamma Mia, the marriage between you and Kylo is a whirlwind of events.

Pickup Lines - You have been captured and get to see an old face. Angst and Fluff ensues.

One Night - You meet Kylo at a park during one of your parent's fancy parties. You fall for him, but find some shocking news might prevent you from being with the only man you’ve ever actually liked.

Daddy’s Girl - Your daughter gets sick and you have a difficult time considering she only wants to be with Kylo, not you.

Baby - Kylo is stressed, so you tell him some news that you’ve been waiting to tell him.

Saving Grace - You and Kylo are in a secret relationship and when Kylo finds out about the harm you’ve been doing to yourself, he steps up.

Pillow Talk - You and Kylo get to talking about your lives early in the morning. It leads to something very unsuspected.*

Rey x Reader:

Missed You - After everything that happened during Last Jedi, you and Rey finally get a chance to just talk.*

Crazy Ideas - You are with Rey when she meets BB-8 and Finn, and after everything that you’ve been through, you two finally confess.*

I’ll Be There - Rey never cries. But the one time she does, you step up. (Uses prompt 6 from the prompt list)

Talk Mechanics To Me - Rey gets really cute when you guys fix the Millennium Falcon. ( Uses prompt 92 from the prompt list)*

Cramps - Reader has bad stomach cramps but doesn’t want to worry Rey. Rey senses something isn’t right.*

Poe Dameron x Reader:

Objects of Love - Poe has a major soft spot for you. Finding his mother’s ring brings you two to a realization.*

Small Things - Poe has a grand way of showing his love. You want him to embrace the little things.

Battles - You find relief from your depression in the form of harming yourself. When Poe’s sees your scars, he’s determined to help you.

Perfect Match - Being in love with Poe includes cute moments. But what happens when someone wants to break you guys apart?

Exit Plan - Poe Dameron and you have been captured. He finds his way out and comes to rescue you. Unfortunately, your night and shining armor does not have a plan. (Uses prompts 7 and 11 from the prompt list)*

Luke Skywalker x Reader:

I’ll Be Good - After turning away from the light side and Luke to follow your destiny, seeing your old lover again will prompt a change within you.*

Goodnight Kisses (Modern) - Luke walks you back to your dorm after a night with Leia and your, now ex-boyfriend, Han.

Yoga - You and Luke decide to do yoga together on your day off.

Stars (Daughter!Reader) - You’re Luke’s daughter, left with Leia after Ben turned and Luke fled. When you see him again, anger and crying happen. After mending the bond, you must realize the ultimate truth.*

Beach Days - The gang spends a day at the beach. It’s a great time to relax and maybe even confess your love to the last Jedi.

R2′s Mechanic - You are responsible for R2′s repairs. When you’re sick, someone messes up R2′s repairs, and you must fix him. Luke’s whipped.

Mission Gone Wrong - You and Luke do a ton of missions together. However this time, Luke does something to save you that you don’t really like. (Uses prompt 29 from the prompt list)

Prize - Luke saves you from the clutches of the evil mobster Jabba the Hutt.

Right in Front of You - You meet Luke Skywalker and have absolutely zero clue that it’s him. (Uses prompts 23 and 63 from the prompt list)

(General) Armitage Hux x Reader:

Flowers (Part 1, Part 2) - You have to marry Hux for the sake of your planet. But after getting attacked, you find out Hux is behind it. He spends the rest of his time making up for it with flowers, the one thing you love most.*

Embrace - After Kylo says degrading things to you, Hux gets some advice on how to comfort you. (Uses prompt 6 from the prompt list)

Pieces - You were abused as a child, made out to be worthless. You cut yourself off, but Hux breaks down the wall.

Exposure - Y/N suddenly stops smiling, and Hux comforts her. (Uses prompt 72 from the prompt list)

Han Solo x Reader:

In The Galaxy - You are there for the events that take place at the beginning of Star Wars: A New Hope.

I Care - You and Han get into a fight and say some thing’s that hurt. This causes you to almost get yourself killed, and for Han to admit he cares about you.

Cassian Andor x Reader:

Fight Together - Cassian helps train recruits with you and says things that make you just want to kiss him. (Uses prompt 92 from the prompt list) 

Dead To Me - Y/N, Cassian’s fiancee, goes to check on some rebel activity almost a year after Cassian’s death. She finds something that she is very unprepared for. (Uses prompts 14, 19, 27, 33, and 39 from the prompt list)

Kylo Ren x Reader x Armitage Hux:

Wonder - Kylo and Hux fall for the same medic. Who will she pick?

Kylo Ren x Reader x Poe Dameron:

One Random Morning (Modern) - A morning with Reader and her two boyfriends who are fighting.

[literatiruinedme]

wrap me up in nothing but you

Cassian Andor had accomplished many things in his day, but he had to say that his greatest achievement was managing to subdue the most rebellious woman the Alliance had ever had in their ranks with a few simple knots.

For the Rogue One Anniversary Week celebration prompt rebellion || 3324 words || E || AO3

Thank you to @deadpanprincess and @happilyswanjones for being amazing human beings and cheering me on!!

When she heard rope pooling on the training room floor for the fifth time, Jyn sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose to ward off the headache beginning to bloom at the forefront of her skull. “Alright Cassian, why don't you take over because clearly you know your way around a rope,” she practically growled, crossing her arms over her chest.

Cassian looked up at her from where he was kneeling down, carefully wrapping the rope back up into a neat coil. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling at his blush. “I can give it a try,” he offered gently, slowly rising to his feet. “Turn.” As always, it was a request, rather than a demand. She nodded, turning to face away from the twenty-some-odd recruits staring at them, Cassian standing at her side. She listened to the soft lilt of his voice as he explained the knot to the group, his touch always gentle. When he finally pulled the knot tight and knocked the air from her lungs, he froze, leaning forward to look at her. “You okay?” he asked quietly, leaning in so only she could hear.

She nodded, smiling when he brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, his hand sliding down her arm to reassuringly squeeze her elbow. She turned back to the class, watching him speak as his hand rested on her elbow, his thumb tracing a soothing line up and down her skin. Her gaze fell to the mat as Cassian opened up the floor for questions.

“Can she get out of that one?” a recruit asked, drawing Jyn's attention back to the mass of people staring at them.

“That's on you,” Cassian teased quietly, gently squeezing her elbow.

“Oh,” Jyn hummed, attempting to tug her hands free, pausing when she suddenly realised she couldn't move her arms below the elbow or above her palm. “Going to give that a no.”

“But you barely-”

“I can't move,” she chortled, ignoring the slight flush crawling up her skin.

“Oh,” Cassian breathed, biting back a laugh. “I'm sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” she said, giving him a small smile. “I'm impressed.”

He smiled back for a moment before turning back to the class. “Does anyone-” A hand shot up. “Yes?”

Jyn sighed, focus shifting between Cassian and their audience for a handful of questions until they finally ran out time.

As the students finally began to trickle out, Cassian stepped behind Jyn, deft fingers carefully untying her. “Where'd you learn to do ties like this?” she asked, looking up at him over her shoulder.

He shrugged one shoulder, letting the rope fall to the floor before turning her to face him. He slowly rubbed his hands up and down her arms over the angry red marks imprinted along her skin. “It was just something I picked up,” he hummed, his fingers expertly kneading her flesh.

“Teach me?”

His head snapped up, eyes a hair wider, giving away his mild shock. “Really?” He asked, finally finding his ability to speak.

Jyn nodded, reaching up to cup his cheeks as she pushed up on her toes, pulling his mouth down to his. The kiss was soft, tender even, but quick. When she pulled back, she couldn't help but smile as Cassian chased after her, eyes still closed. “I trust you,” she breathed when he finally blinked the world back into focus again.

He nodded, pulling her closer. “Okay,” he smiled.

He'd been sent out on a short mission and returned a few days later, landing back on base so late at night that it bordered on being early morning. He was quiet as he entered their quarters, smiling when he saw Jyn’s sleeping form. He toed off his boots and hung up his jacket before he finally walked over to her.

“Cassian?” Jyn asked sleepily as he sat down on the edge of the bunk.

He smiled, leaning over to press his lips to her forehead. He brushed his knuckles over her cheek, smiling when she curled closer. “I missed you, frijolito,” he breathed, smiling down at her.

“I missed you, too,” she yawned. She hummed as he slowly dragged his fingertips along the side of her neck, his touch featherlight.

He chortled at how easily she melted for him. “I have a gift for you,” he hummed.

“What?” Jyn yawned, slowly blinking her eyes open. She stretched, smiling when he rested the hand not clutching his bag beside her shoulder, leaning over her. She huffed, reaching up to cup his jaw. “Cassian, it’s three in the morning and I look and taste disgusting,” she rolled her eyes. He shrugged a shoulder, inching closer. “You're insatiable.”

“Only for you,” he hummed, leaning in to kiss her. She smiled against his lips, mouth molding to his as he kissed her as deeply as he pleased. He pulled back slowly, licking his lips as his head cocked to one side. “Did you have candy before bed?”

She blushed, biting her bottom lip. “I had a few of those sweets you brought back from the last time you went out without me,” she shrugged, her blush faint but still visible as his eyes finally adjusted to the lack of light in their room.

He huffed out a laugh. “Your teeth are going to rot out of your head if you keep doing that,” he tsked, thumb dragging along her bottom lip.

“You said you liked when I tasted like cherries,” she hummed, pulling him back in for another kiss. Truth be told, the taste of her was absolutely intoxicating and he didn’t care if she tasted like candy, caff, or just regular old Jyn Erso. “Wait,” she said softly as she pulled away, confusion evident on her features. “You said got me something?” He nodded, smiling when she groaned. “Cass.”

“I like spoiling you,” he breathed, pecking her lips chastely. “You want to see?” She bit her bottom lip, contemplating her answer for a long moment before nodding slowly. He smiled, pulling his bag out of his lap and setting it down next to her. “I saw these in the market on Geonosis and thought of you,” he said, pulling out a scarf and two bundles of thin rope.

Her brows furrowed and she pushed herself up into a sitting position, a shirt of his that she'd commandeered slipping off of her shoulder, revealing her soft, pale skin. Her fingers first brushed the scarf, the light purple-blue colour a deep contrast to the drab blankets covering their bunk. She tested the texture of the material between her middle and forefinger, carefully unfolding it to see how large it was. Jyn barely bit back a cat-like grin as she draped it over his shoulders, pulling his mouth to hers. He smiled against her lips, free hand reaching up to thread his fingers through her messy hair. She slowly pulled back, chuckling as he followed after her. “You’re cute,” she hummed, biting her lip as she tapped the tip of his nose. He huffed, pulling back as she looked back down at the mattress, taking one of the bundles of rope in her hand. She turned it over in her palm, humming to herself as she observed it. She glanced up at him, her cheeks a light pink. “Is this for-” He nodded, a smile blooming on his lips when she ducked her head down.

“Did you still want to?” he asked, not bothering to hide his smile. Jyn rarely changed her mind when it came to him and the things they talked about trying in bed, though he never stopped asking.

“You know I do,” she smiled, looking up at him through her long lashes. Cassian held out his open hand to her, silently asking for the rope. Her smile slowly faded to an expression of contentment as she traced her index finger along the lines of his palm. He waited silently, forcing himself not to close his hand at her effortless teasing sending tingles up his forearm. “So what will we do then? Just you showing me how ties work and then another night I get to tie you up?”

He shrugged, closing his fist around her fingers, making her chuckle. “I’m okay with whatever you’d like, little bean,” he promised. He squeezed her fingers before finally releasing them. He stood, picking up the bundles and her scarf. He waved the scarf in her face to tickle her nose, laughing with her before leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead and stalking off to tuck the rope away in their shared desk, dropping his bag next to the desk. He draped her scarf over the chair and pulled his shirt over his head. He dropped his shirt on the ground by their bunk, haphazardly kicking off his pants before he crawled under the covers, smiling as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him flush against her.

They lay in silence for several moments, sleep slowly approaching them both until-

“I don’t believe you.”

His eyes shot open as he turned to look at her over his shoulder. “Excuse me?”

“I think,” she sighed, squeezing his abdomen teasingly. “You’re lying.”

“About what?” he frowned, turning to face her.

She grinned. “You have something in mind for what you want to do to me.” He felt his mouth fall open. “Come on, Cass” she coaxed, trailing a finger along his jaw. “What is it?” His jaw snapped shut and he swallowed hard, his gaze focused on her clavicle. “You know you can tell me.”

“Could I-” He bit his lip, his nerves dropping as Jyn slowly rubbed her thumb back and forth over his shoulder, an unspoken way of saying you know I’m always open to try anything, especially if you want to.

“Ask me,” she breathed.

“Can I be in charge?” he asked timidly.

“Anything you want,” she smiled, leaning in to press a featherlight kiss to his forehead. She brushed his hair from his eyes, cupping his cheek as he leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Sleep, soft boy,” she sighed. “You deserve it.” He nodded, curling close to her, his ear over her heart as she held him close, the steady rhythm quickly lulling him off to sleep.

“I just want to make sure you're completely okay with this,” Cassian sighed, biting his bottom lip as he stared down at Jyn. She was perched on the edge of their bunk, the top half of her torso bound in a rather intricate harness, though her arms were still free. She'd crossed her legs underneath her, cradling his hand in her lap.

“I'm fine,” she promised, her thumb slowly stroking along his palm. He smiled, leaning down to capture her lips with his own. She relaxed below him, her mouth easily yielding to his. He placed her hand back down on the mattress, slowly trailing his fingertips along her side before he finally pulled away. She wet her lips and offered him a small smile. “So what's next?”

He chewed his bottom lip in consideration as his thumb hooked under a notch in the rope at her side. “Would you-” He paused again, his gaze following the orderly tangle of knots before he finally had the courage to meet her gaze again. “Would you be okay if I tied your hands behind your back?”

She nodded, every ounce of anxiety within him melting away at the sight of her lips curling up into a soft smile. “Nothing too crazy, right?” She asked shyly.

“Of course not,” he promised, a soft smile crossing his own lips.

“Okay,” she hummed, stretching her arms out over her head before wrapping them around his neck, pulling him back in for one more chaste kiss. “I know we’ve established it already, but-” She smiled, her nose bumping his. “I’m yours.”

He felt his heart squeeze in his chest. She was his. He leaned in to press his lips to hers, holding her close. She was his. “And I’m yours,” he breathed, resting his forehead against hers when they finally pulled apart.

She hummed happily, stretching up to kiss his forehead. “I know.”

He smiled, kissing her cheek before he slowly pulled back, his hands softly brushing along the underside of her arms before he was able to thread his fingers through hers. “Would you be more comfortable sitting or standing while I tie your arms?”

“Either way,” she shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

He hummed, biting his bottom lip as he though. “Sitting may be easier...you’ll probably be more comfortable and I think you’ll be raised a little which will be far more kind on my back.”

She laughed, though it lacked any hint of maliciousness. Her old man, she'd always tease when he brought up his back; though in their defence, sometimes it was easier to laugh than to remember. “Whatever you want,” she nodded, turning away from him.

He smiled, stepping forward to press his lips to her shoulder. She jumped slightly at the contact, straightening quickly. “Relax,” he breathed, resting his hands on her hips. He slowly rubbed his thumb back and forth on either side of her spine, relaxing himself as her muscles untensed. He slowly trailed his lips across over shoulder, over the one spot at the crook over her neck that he knew made her knees go weak, over her spine, all the way to the opposite shoulder. She reached back with one hand, squeezing his hand as their fingers intertwined. “You okay?”

She nodded, rubbing her thumb back and forth over the back of his hand. “I'm just used to seeing more of you,” she shrugged, making him chuckle.

He squeezed her hand again, easing it behind her. “I'm right here,” he promised, taking her other hand as well.

“I know,” she hummed, one hand wrapping around her elbow.

“If you need me to stop I will,” he promised. “And I have a knife right next to the bed if you need me to cut you free.”

“Kinky,” she teased.

He chuckled, pressing a chaste kiss to her shoulder before looking back down at her arms. “Just remember I'm right here,” he repeated. She hummed, nodding her head. He picked up the length of rope loosely draped over the bed and began wrapping her arms, repeatedly asking her if she was uncomfortable or if something was too tight or too loose.

When he secured the final knot, he helped her turn back towards him. “All good?” She nodded, smiling up at him. “Good,” he breathed, leaning in to press his lips to hers. She smiled against his mouth, letting him kiss her hard. She moaned as his tongue caressed her bottom lip, slipping inside her mouth when her lips parted. He hands slowly rubbed up and down her upper arms, holding her tightly. When he pulled back, he couldn't help but grin as she followed, unthinkingly chasing his lips. “You're so good to me, Jyn,” he hummed, leaning down to pepper kisses along her throat.

“I try,” she breathed, arching into his touch as he laved over a tendon he'd bitten. “I like making you feel good.”

“You're so good at it,” he breathed, reaching up to palm at one of her breasts. She let out a whine, nodding as his thumb traced slow circles over her nipple. “Always so kind and thoughtful,” he continued.

“Cassian,” she gasped. “What are you-”

He shushed her, his free hand slowly snaking down down down between her thighs. “I want to try something,” he said, smiling against her skin. He smiled when he found her already slick, waiting patiently for him. She was always so controlled in her wants and her desires, her need for him, in contrast to his ever-present need; his need to touch her, to hold her, to be held, but Jyn held back more- that was, until she was allowed to let go. “You're so wonderful,” he hummed, his fingers finding her clit with ease. She whimpered as he started to move the pads of his fingers in slow, neat circles. “Always so giving. And all to me,” he breathed, pulling his fingers away despite her whine, both of his hands settling on her hips as he stepped back from her, making sure to still touch her, to ground her despite the few inches of space between them. He smiled down at her, already so wanton- and at his hands. He pressed another kiss to her lips as he helped her back on the mattress. He crawled in-between her thighs, kissing his way up her stomach. “You're so wonderful,” he breathed as his hand slid back between her thighs. She threw her head back against the pillow, breathing hard as he slowly, teasingly worked her up to the edge. “I love how you make me feel so loved,” he breathed in her ear.

“Cassian,” she gasped, her leg hooking over his thigh.

“No,” he warned, gently pushing her leg away.

“But-” He slowly trailed his fingers downward, teasing her with two fingers. “Oh- okay,” she gasped, back arching. He smirked, leaning down to kiss her neck as he slowly pressed two fingers into her, gasping when he curled his fingers. “Force- Cass,” she cried out. “Kiss me,” she begged, eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze. “Kriff, please.”

“If I kiss you-” He pressed his lips to the space below her jaw, his nails digging into her hip. “Then I can’t put my mouth other places.” She swallowed hard, panting as he looked down at her. His fingers curled up, hitting that perfect spot that stole her breath every time. “What do you want, Jyn?”

“I-” She moaned when his thumb returned to her clit. She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking below him.

“Are you going to come before you can even decide?” he grinned, kissing along the line of her jaw. She nodded with a breathy laugh, making him chuckle. “That’s okay,” he promised, pressing one final kiss to her jaw before his mouth was back on hers. He smiled against her lips as she hungrily bit at his lips. “Impatient,” he chuckled as his fingers hastened, quickly pushing her over the edge. Her legs shook as she came, a sharp noise falling from the back of her throat. He slowly worked her down, pressing soft kisses anywhere he could reach.

“Cass?” She breathed as he slowly pulled his fingers back. He hummed in acknowledgement, pushing up on his forearm to look down at her. “Can you untie me?”

“Of course,” he nodded, carefully climbing off of her. He helped her sit up, crawling behind her to begin untying her. He was quiet for a long moment, making sure her arms were free before he dared break the silence between them. “Did you not like it?” He asked timidly.

As soon as the last of the ropes was removed from her arms she turned, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him in for a kiss. He laughed, nearly pulling back when he felt her hand on his belt. He froze as she pulled away, kissing along his jaw until she reached his ear. “Can I fuck you?” She breathed, sending a shiver up his spine. He nodded quickly, reaching up to cup her face in his hands, pulling her in for another kiss. She smiled, reaching up to pull his hands away and force them behind his back. “Turn.”

“But-”

“Turn,” she repeated, more sternly this time. He swallowed hard, nodding as she tied a quick knot he’d taught her, his wrists bound together tightly. She quickly turned him back to face her, shoving him down on his back. “I did like it,” she promised, climbing into his lap. She leaned down, cupping his cheeks as she pulled his mouth to hers. “But it's my turn now.”